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#literally this is just the context of my fic on ao3

andydrarch · 2 years

Text

Getting down in words how I think Heinkel’s gender identity works bc I am not an expert, I am cis but I do have an enby sibling, and I just wanna Express My Thoughts woergwiergjw. I’m sure someone could take one look at this and immediately tell me what identity this counts as so hey, feel free to do so ha ha

Details under the cut, discussion of intersex anatomy, mentions of transphobia and shitty handling of puberty by adults

Okay so my interpretation of Heinkel is heavily based on her having 5AR2D, which is a disorder that can cause intersex in XY individuals. Google exists if you want more specific details than that, but essentially I see Heinkel as having *approximately* female genitalia (large clitoris, fused labias, very small vaginal canal), but that is literally it for female body characteristics. Like most other individuals with 5AR2D, when puberty hit Heinkel had the usual changes a genetically male person might. 5AR2D doesn’t inhibit testosterone production (testes are present, just undescended) or keep that from having impacts, so yeah, physically Heinkel looks like a cis male, just with a lot less body and facial hair (I PROMISE this is a real part of the disorder weroijgweoirjgo)

WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY, keeping all of this in mind, growing up Heinkel was raised as a girl at the orphanage. She always had to share rooms with other girls, she was made to wear feminine clothing (although Father Anderson was very supportive of stretching that definition for her), and out of her friends (mainly Yumi and Enrico), she got along with girls better. In general, as a kid, the most Heinkel ever considered herself was a tomboy, and for the most part no one gave her too much shit for that. And then puberty hit.

All of a sudden, Heinkel’s finding that literally all of her roommates, including Yumi, are changing in Very Specific Ways, and her experiences don’t match up with those at all. Heinkel realizes at some point oh shit, I’m starting to look like a guy, which she doesn’t hate! She likes looking like a guy, she likes dressing like a guy, being masculine and looking masculine feels good. Her appearance isn’t what bothers her about all of this, it’s how people start treating her.

Because her whole life, she’s been told she’s a girl and she’s roomed with girls and experienced things from a female perspective, and now suddenly everyone at the orphanage pushing for her to dress feminine are realizing that this young teen who by all accounts looks like a teenage boy, looks less ‘’’’’’’’’proper’’’’’’’’ in feminine clothes. And Heinkel is facing a strange reversal where now she’s ONLY allowed to wear masculine clothes and she gets her own room, which might be cool except everyone else rooms with a bunch of other boys or girls and it makes her feel weird, and suddenly no one cares if she acts like a tomboy. And Heinkel doesn’t HATE that people are expecting her to be more masculine, but she hates that she’s ONLY allowed to be masculine now.

If someone were to ask Heinkel if she was a man or woman, she’d probably say it doesn’t really matter, she’s a bit of both. If SPECIFICALLY asked if she was a man, she’d say no, but if asked if she was a woman, she’d probably say kind of? Sorta? In the way that carbonated water is pop, she is a woman. But it’s not something that she thinks about really, because she was raised in an extremely conservative environment where there are ONLY male and female, and out of those two options yeah, she’s picking female. I don’t know if Heinkel, at least in the time Hellsing canon exists in, would ever encounter terms like nonbinary, and even if she did, I really don’t know how open she would be to them?

To like, be even more specific, at some point Heinkel absolutely has to get those undescended testes removed, whether it’s of her own volition or some doctor in Iscariot goes They Gotta Come Out (MAJOR cancer risk), and absolutely Heinkel would be on T after that. I think she likes having masculine characteristics and would want to maintain them

Maybe I’m overanalyzing and this is just a butch lesbian I’m describing because Heinkel is hella gay and is too busy having a crisis over being gay to think too deeply about her gender identity as a teen lmao. She’s going ah FUCK why are girls so fucking hot, girls aren’t supposed to be hot I’M a girl,,,,,,,

#hellsing #heinkel wolfe #hellsing ultimate #headcanons #again this is my OPINION you can disagree #literally this is just the context of my fic on ao3

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n7punk · 2 years

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okay weird comment etiquette question for other fic authors only, does anyone else feel weird about comments where people mention other fics by name or link to them?

like for me personally, if someone comments on my celebrity au saying "oh, i just read '[title of another celebrity au for the pairing]' and its so interesting reading such different takes!" that comment isn't insulting to either fic, but especially if i haven't read the other fic or have and found it to have problems (out of character, etc), i don't like it because it almost feels like im endorsing that fic by leaving the link attached to my own work.

i have less of an issue with someone saying "i read a fic where [x] happens and...." (rest of comment, etc) if they dont give the information to find the fic or the author. it can be weird depending on the context, but usually that's fine to me, even if someone else who read that fic might be able to identify it from the comment. Mostly i think that's because there's nothing directly being endorsed/linked for a casual viewer to then go find.

i have no problem with people making rec lists that im on along with others, of course, but having it specifically on my fics/my page feels weird (the context of rec lists is also very different from the context of a comment section). i was wondering how other authors felt about it, though i dont know how common this scenario is. i almost always delete these comments just because they make me uncomfortable and thats reason enough to curate your online experience, but i was curious

#not rebloggable because i dont think that would introduce anything except increased chance of bad faith opinions #but i would love replies/messages from those that post fics on ao3 #and elsewhere too i guess #mylife #i think the only time ive ever left such a comment up is when it was specifically about my friend's fic so like.#i knew it was all good and we were both chill with it and i liked the fic XD #i dont know if i would be comfortable with it in literally any other context lol #also ive had this happen (in both ways ive described above) a few times so dont worry about it if it was you #this isnt a specific callout it just came up again recently and i was like this Bothers me #i also just paraphrased how i remember these types of comments going #again not supposed to be a callout for anyone in particular

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olderthannetfic · 1 month

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I found AO3 pretty intuitive. Took me like 5 minutes to realize how all the little buttons work. They're pretty straightforward. Apart from the AND filters - took me a while to realize what type of filters AO3 used. Beyond that, I'm not sure why people have a hard time? Wattpad and FFnet are way more of a pain in the ass.

It's all about familiarity.

I mean, look, AO3 works how my brain works. When we first set it up, it was what we were all used to, more or less, but an upgrade. It was hard to even see how it could ever be unintuitive because this was just How Things Were. From the style of trope tags to the fact that there's an index of fandoms by media type, it was all familiar.

But that thinking is a trap.

It's easy to say "Oh, well, that person's just an idiot", and sometimes, the problem really is laziness or sleep deprivation, but a lot of the time, it's different cultural context.

By the time we were designing AO3, I'd had many rounds of formal instruction in how to use library catalogues of various sorts, familiarity with Delicious, years in LJ slash fandom whose assumptions form the metadata structures of AO3, etc.

There's nothing strange about going "Why are ship types a top level system of organization?" or "How do I search for genre X in any anime fandom but not in non-anime fandoms?"

It's strange to me, but it's not strange in the context of people who read fanfic overall.

It's not just about learning the search features that do exist: it's about unconscious assumptions about what metadata must exist.

If you don't know to look for something and you aren't coming from a culture where poking buttons is encouraged, you're going to take a lot longer to find things than if you already have a good idea of what's probably there somewhere.

To pick two very obvious examples:

If I were designing a gen-focused archive, I'd make genre a top-level organization system, like on FFN.

If I were designing a more x-reader-focused or One True Character-focused archive, I'd make the ship searches work like Character X/Anyone instead of having to click on each ship of your blorbo or each ship with Reader.

If someone has years of experience searching for some bullshit 'trickyfish' style nonsense ship name because they're on sites with garbage searches, they'll go to AO3, plug some words into the search bar at the top, and then feel like they can't find any relevant results because everything that turns up is just that word in author's notes on an irrelevant fic. They might even go to advanced search...

...and then totally miss that the sidebar filters are the best part of AO3, and they don't appear when you do a search search as opposed to starting from a tag.

Isn't Advanced Search the most... well... advanced search? On every other website, it is, but not on AO3.

Each new site/technology/culture/etc. a person has to learn takes time and attention. If you're exhausted and burnt out, that's hard. Even if you're not, it takes at least some effort. It doesn't Just Happen, not for every person and every new thing.

We should tell people to read the damn FAQ, yes.

But I can't say I always do that myself on every site unless I'm both having a problem and invested enough to care about solving it.

On an average day, most of us don't need to care why some people have a hard time figuring out AO3.

But if anyone is planning to design a site or needs to teach a bunch of kids how to use the library or something, it's worth keeping in mind just how many unconscious assumptions are hiding behind the idea of something—literally anything—being "intuitive".

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brisquad-unit-4402 · 11 months

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Hello it’s me again! It’s been a while, I hope you’ve been doing okay. I recently have been reading through a lot of angst to comfort and I have an idea for a request!

May I request an Ike fic where reader is a liver in NIJISANJI and has a crush on Ike but knows they have no chance with him. Then one day reader accidentally spills their feelings to Ike and Ike comforts them after hearing about readers feelings?

I hope you’re not tired of me requesting Ike fics (ily him to much) and I hope you have a good day/night! <3

-🖋️

stars above your skin

oh 🖋 we're really in it now

how long have i had this request in my inbox? early march? and now exactly one day after blue light dropped, i give you a ~19.5k word ike fic. much love and effort has gone into this one, only seconded by the massive amounts of brainrot.

so yeah, i'm not tired of ike requests. i'm literally a quilldren that writes fanfic. this is the opposite of a problem

in fact this might be one of my favorite things i've written... the second half is such a good bedtime story for me...!

this is going to get NASTY to read on tumblr—as in my site is lagging so hard just typing these a/n notes. so i'm going to remind you all that not only is liking/reblogging recommended to keep track of this fic, but also that i have an ao3 account (same name as url but without dashsince it's much more accessible than tumblr for long fic. i recommend reading on tumblr if you can because of some formatting but to each their own!

here’s a funny story about this fic. i was working on it while a bunch of people sat behind me, you see, and one of my greatest irrational fears is that people sitting behind me will be able to see my laptop screen and laugh at what i’m writing…! and with these requests i usually title them the fandom name and my name, and a short phrase about the request, and this one was “workplace romance”, and i just got so afraid right then and there i changed it to the first thing i could think of, based off a clip i saw of pomu, selen, aia and doppio…!! and that’s why the wip doc is titled “nijisanji 4402 - pliskin”, and why i will always refer to this fic as "pliskin" much more than the actual title

by the way here’s a cover of iris that was pretty fitting for this fic. you’ll know when to play it. enjoy

tags: hurt/comfort, reader is a niji vtuber, gender neutral reader, off-collab, mutual pining, misunderstandings, fluff, angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, cuddling, everyone in niji is your wingman, implied uki/ren if you squint but it’s mostly because uki will flirt with 80% of the men in this company

cameos: aia amare, alban knox, mika melatika, nina kosaka, ren zotto, uki violeta, vox akuma, fulgur ovid (mentioned)

⚠️ drinking/alcohol (unspecified if reader drinks alcohol)

⚠️ horror/gore mentions (non-detailed), out of context outlast spoilers i guess?

author's commentary here (spoilers) ↣

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There are dozens of these videos on YouTube, and never have you come across the same one twice. You would know. You have a bad habit of clicking on them.

After all, they’re labeled with your name on them, and right next to it, Ike Eveland. You are smart enough to recognize it’s not worth your time and just another compilation of the same moments and fans trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but your heart says otherwise. To be fair, the compilations were a much more recent development than the one you hid under lock and key.

When you first joined Nijisanji, some of your senpais sent you messages full of greetings and offers to help you get on your feet as a streamer. Ike was one of those senpais, and whenever you popped into voice calls just to hang out, he was easy to talk to, like an old friend. Naturally, a fast friendship formed, and when you debuted, he was one of the first people you collabed with- and the one with the best reception. Your new fans (‘Bookworms,’ they called themselves, after your name Reader) loved how well your humor bounced off each other, and when weeks passed and you announced another collab on your schedule with Ike, your Bookworms rejoiced.

Even when you weren’t working, you would still talk to him. He told you about his homeland in the past and his novels, both released and unpublished. He was a storyteller even when he was talking about something as minute as making a sandwich, and whenever you brought up your past and interests, he was an excellent listener. You had your differences, but he always knew what questions to ask so he could understand you better, and you loved the opportunity to ramble.

It had been nearly three months since you debuted, and four if you count the day you were officially hired and began to build yourself as a streamer. Whenever you look at the endlessly long text history between you and Ike, you have to wonder: is it normal to feel so connected to someone you’ve only known for three-maybe-four months?

You’re not an idiot. You aren’t about to say Ike is the most important thing in the world to you, but he gets pretty damn close. That terrifies you. You shouldn’t be so attached to someone you barely know.

But then again, you trust Ike. He’s opened up to you about things he would never say to others, and he keeps your secrets buried in the grave. You’ve lost count of how much advice he’s given you, but you’ve never forgotten a single one, and whenever you feel lost about something you know you can count on him to help you out.

You grimace, sip out of your drinking glass, and press ‘play’ on the next compilation.

A cute intro plays with the clipper’s name. Above it are the words Pen and Paper, surrounded by puffy pink hearts.

That was the duo name between you and Ike, but "ship name" was more accurate among fanwork.

You weren’t exactly unaware about it. Weeks ago, you were surfing Twitter and the site’s algorithm granted you your introduction into Pen and Paper. This was shortly after your first collab with Ike, and after you established your shipping rules with your audience (“I’m fine with anything, as long as the other liver is okay with it!”, you proclaimed, totally oblivious to how soon that would blow up in your face). The fanartist posted a messy black-and-white sketch, but you could make out the pattern of Ike’s scarf wrapped around you and him at the same time, forcing your bodies into close proximity with averted eyes and dusty blushes.

You appreciated the fanartist’s passion and skill, but the thought of you and Ike as an item sunk in your chest like you swallowed a rock. You swiped past. You went back to your scrolling, found some good thumbnails, and retweeted some cute solo fanart, but before the week ended, you made a private account with a fake name and staked out the tags for Pen and Paper to follow that fanartist.

Damn fanartist. You tried to deny it, and told yourself that you followed their art because you liked the style. But their account was full of ship art, and when Twitter gave you similar users that all worked under the hashtag, you had to face facts. If you wanted to look at it optimistically, at least you figured it out early on before anything had the chance to sour while you were still blissfully ignorant of yourself; even then, that doesn’t make it any harder than it already is.

Besides all the texts, the meetings, the schedules and events, and then including the streams and collabs and the art and the fandom…

“Why?” You ask out loud in the silence of your room. “Why did I have to fall for my coworker?”

And with audiences of over hundreds of people watching you fall for him, nonetheless!

It’s irritating. You have a job that keeps you motivated to work hard. It’s given you a dedicated fanbase, rare opportunities, and coworkers you all recognize as your friends. Really, finding someone to care for because of it should be a blessing, but it’s such a headache. What if your fanbases get jealous, or even worse, outright hate it? Would you be able to keep up a relationship when you and Ike are dedicated to your careers and streams? Why are you even thinking like this? You scold yourself. There’s no way this would ever work out. It’s all fantasy and smoke and mirrors, because fandoms love love. Shipping is never a reflection of the streamers, just the characters you play. You’re delusional if you think your stupid crush could actually go anywhere.

But fandoms love love. The only comfort you have is being able to pretend something could happen. The ship art is a lie, and so are the fanfics, and the clippers that tag their videos as Pen and Paper are just here for a possibility that never could happen.

The compilation is full of little hints and teases, and if you were being honest with yourself, most of it was more like two friends getting along than actual flirting. But you didn’t trust yourself to see your clumsiness for what it is when Ike’s little laughs are like music to your ears.

Damage control, you tell yourself. It’s like studying how you play your favorite games. You can pinpoint where you stumble and leave yourself open for attack in Apex, Smash, even Crab Game, and then amend those mistakes the next time you pick up the game. Real life should be no different. Just stop acting so dorky all the time by finding moments of dork in your VODs and avoid them next time you talk to Ike.

This clip was from your second collab with Ike. Captions floated along the bottom of the screen. Ike's captions were in his signature blue.

IKE: You know, there’s a lot of content about us two as a duo.

READER: They call us Pen and Paper, right?

IKE: Yeah, my art tag is flooded with art of the both of us.

READER: Oh my God, look at the chat. Mine’s full of people saying they love us together.

IKE: Aww, thanks, Quilldren! I’m happy I can play with Reader too.

READER: Thank you, Bookworms; thank you, Quilldren. Hey, there’s a lot more overlap than I expected.

IKE: They’re like Bookdren.

READER: Or Quillworms.

IKE: Quillworms, that sounds way better. They’re like our children.

READER: www

IKE: www

Never fucking mind about acting so dorky all the time. You kick yourself for bringing up Pen and Paper, and your giggly laugh. You hate it. A neon sign above your head that says “SIMP” would be less obvious than that stupid schoolkid laugh.

But Ike’s laughter is music, back in the moment and now as you revisit it, and his model’s eyes squint with a wide smile.

He really is an amazing man. If you didn’t know him as well as you do, you’d think he’s perfect. But you’ve seen him in moments of vulnerability, the parts of himself that never shows through on stream and even rarer among his friends. Through it all he manages to keep going, and you admire him so much for sticking to his guns even when he’s expressed all his doubts about himself. The fact that he trusts you enough to let his guard down only adds to how honored you are to know him, and at the same time, the fact that there’s so much trust between you two just makes you feel worse for having a crush on him. You hate keeping secrets like this when you let Ike read you like an open book for everything else, and even just wishing you were something more to him feels like a betrayal of all that trust. You wish you could just be satisfied to know him.

The compilation continues. The next clip is a totsu Fall Guys collab hosted by Fulgur Ovid that you and Ike joined in on. Fuuchan got eliminated early in the match, and spectated on you while the other livers ran around Roll On with players tugging them this way and that.

You moved around the rotating levels at the perfect sweet spot between two rings, and balanced at the top of the roll as the slime level slowly rose.

A longer wall approached, so you shuffled from one level to another, but another player grabbed your bean avatar and dragged you along to the wall even as you yelled out in panic on Discord. You smashed your keys to struggle, but they had an advantage, and it was clear the wall would push you down to the slime for an impending elimination.

That is, until a familiar Miku bean grabbed the other side of your avatar, and pulled the other way towards the ring that would save your life. Resigned, your attacker backed off and barely dodged out of the way while Ike’s Miku bean brought you back to safety.

The other two livers in the game were too noisy to notice you. Fuuchan was commentating every move you made, and when Ike saved you, he said, “Ike coming in clutch, let’s fucking go.”

Your recorded self didn’t hear him at all, though. You swooned, “Ike, my hero!”

Meanwhile in the present, you wanted to puke. You meant for that to sound like an over-the-top joke, but you crush is getting so serious that it sounds less like a bit and more like how you gush about him in private.

At least Fuuchan’s audio was louder than everyone else, since he was the host, and the other two livers were preoccupied with their own game to notice your lovey-dovey tone and how Ike laughed music at you. It was bad enough clippers transcribed your words in captions, but you weren’t sure how you would handle it if those three picked up on you and your dumb crush. The less that know about your workplace romance, the better.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“Reader,” Aia coos. Even with audio only, you could tell her eyes were sparkling. “You didn’t tell me you had a workplace romance!”

Well, so much for that plan. You froze over. “Who told you that?”

Mika answers way too quickly. “It’s Alban’s fault.”

“Fuck off, Mika, you brought it up first!”

“You said it though!”

Man, you were already starting to regret joining VC today. You finished your offline work a lot faster than expected, so when you realized that three of your close friends in the company were all online in VC together while Alban privately streamed a rhythm game, you figured you would join the call while you prepared dinner.

But if that was your greeting, you needed to mentally prepare for the wild interrogation you were about to experience. At least Aia, despite her love for drama, knew how to navigate these sorts of things delicately. And you don’t mean to call Mika and Alban bad friends—they were the exact opposite, in fact—but they were much nosier than Aia ever came across.

“Okay, but Reader just asked who leaked it, and didn’t deny it,” Aia says. “So that means it must be true!”

Scratch that. Aia is the worst out of all of them.

“I hate you guys. No hello or anything, just gossip about my love life,” you lament.

She gasps, and if her eyes were sparkling before, then roses bloomed around her as she spoke. “It’s love?”

Mika shrieks like a banshee. “Oh hell no, you’re in love and you didn’t tell us?!”

“It’s not love. It’s nothing!”

“Nah-uh, Reader, no running away from it, we know,” Alban says. “Better to just get it all out in the open than pretend like nothing’s up.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to snoop.”

“I’m being serious. Keeping stuff bottled up deteriorates you, especially when love’s involved.” He missed a note. “Shit. And yeah, okay, I want some gossip, but I have a point and you know it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, I blew a full combo just to say that!”

“Can I add? In case you forgot, Reader, we’re all in the same company,” Mika says. “Sure, I might be in a different branch, but who knows? Maybe we can help.”

“And fuck you too.” You sigh in defeat. As vitriolic as your shared humor was, these three were still some of your best friends, and you know they don’t mean any harm. “Ugh, I hate this. This is confidential information. Like, CIA levels of confidential. If I tell you guys, you can’t tell a single soul about it. Understand?”

The three all chime in agreement. And unfortunately, you trust them. You take advantage of your coworkers swearing themselves to secrecy to hype yourself up and just rip off the band-aid. “It’s Ike.”

“We know.”

“What the hell do you mean, you know?!”

“It’s obvious,” Aia says. Your heart hammers in your chest. Then she sputters for a moment, like she realized she might’ve hit a soft spot. “Well, you have to focus on it to see it, but once you see it, it’s hard to ignore. You two go well together.”

Alban pitches in. “Agreed. I’m not even gonna be subtle about it, you and Ike have great chemistry. I’m happy for you two.”

“Okay, I guess.” Your eyes drift away from your prepared ingredients to the corner of your kitchen. “But I don’t know. Are you sure? Because I feel like I always act like an idiot whenever I’m around him. And I doubt he’d ever feel the same way.”

“Wait.” Aia pauses. “You’re… not dating?”

“No. Just a crush. Not love, not dating, nothing. And it’s never going to be anything more than that because it’s just a big stupid crush on my coworker, who doesn’t even live close enough to visit, and this is all a recipe for disaster.”

She doesn’t say anything about that. Actually, none of them do. Even Alban pressed pause on his game, and the Discord stream went motionless as your words sunk in.

Mika is the one to break the silence. “You’re shitting me.”

“That’s the truth. Happy?”

“No, like, you’re shitting me, there’s no way.”

“Mikaaa.” Alban drags out her name as he scolds her.

“Hey, I’m just saying, that’s crazy, especially since—“

“Don’t tell Reader that!”

“Tell me what?”

“We thought you were already a thing. You know, dating, in a relationship, whatever,” Mika clarifies. It hits you like a punch to the gut. “Or at least that you had something going on, and kept it secret so it wouldn’t be awkward for everyone else to work with you two. Which, by the way, we’re all chill with, so if, hypothetically, you decided to hypothetically go for it, we would hypothetically cheer you on and set off hypothetical fireworks. I’d rent a food truck.”

Alban resumes his game. “Yeah, what she said. Go get that hypothetical novelist bussy.”

“Don’t hypothetically talk about my brother like that.”

“You’re sure this is okay?” You ask. “Mika, I know you and Ike are close. This isn’t going to make anything weird, is it?”

“You’re fine, Reader. If I had problems, I would’ve cornered you and threatened you over text ages ago when I figured it out.”

“That’s another thing. How did you guys know?”

Aia pipes up first. “I know I said it was obvious, but I think that’s just because we know each other since we’re good friends. You two just go together, you know? It’s hard to explain, but whenever Reader and Ike-senpai are in the same room you think, ‘those two would be cute,’ and then you realize they are cute, right there in the moment. And you talk a lot faster on stream whenever you’re both on the same page. Almost as fast as me.”

“Plus, it’s really common to see both of you on VC at the same time, and you’re always happy whenever he shows up,” Mika affirms. “Alban says whenever one of you enters the call the other is soon to follow.”

“It’s true. You talk fast whenever you talk to him on VC too, not just stream. And your laugh kind of changes?”

“Dammit, I knew my laugh was my tell. This sucks. This seriously sucks.”

“It might not be all that bad,” Mika says. “Who knows, maybe things might end up better than you expect. You should tell him.”

“No way,” you fire back. “There no way he’d actually reciprocate. And I know you guys are fine with me asking, but Ike himself is just going to reject me, and it’s going to be awkward, and literally everyone in the company who has ever talked to us will be able to tell something’s up.”

“They won’t be weird,” Aia insists. “We won’t, either, and Ike-senpai is a good guy. Even if it doesn’t work out, he wouldn’t leave you out to dry like that.”

“You don’t know. None of you have ever been in this situation.”

“That’s true, but there’s always a chance.”

“If you ask me, it sounds more like you’re afraid of what you think would happen instead of what rationally would,” Alban says. He’s still laser-focused on his game. “I dunno. If you’re really set on getting over it, then go ahead and ignore it, but that’s just going to eat at you for who knows how long before your crush starts to fade.”

“Well, I didn’t ask.”

“Fine. Forget I said anything.”

You regret the acidic tone in your voice the second you said it, but Alban was off in his own world of music. He’d tell you if he had a problem with how you spoke to him, but you still feel gross about your knee-jerk reaction.

You’re just… defensive. Yep, that’s the word. Whenever you’re this interested in someone, you put your walls up and protect yourself from letting anyone worm through and hit a weak point.

Aia hums like an analyst. “Just keep it in mind, Reader. Not everything is out to get you.”

You know your friends just wanted the best for you, but things just aren’t as simple as they’d like to imagine it. It’s none of their business, anyways. It was pure coincidence that they figured out your thoughts on Ike, and that means none of them have any real authority to advise you on your love life.

“I think we’re done talking about this,” you assert.

“Well, you heard ‘em. Pack it up, show’s over.” Mika changed the subject. “Hey, did you guys know if you try to break open a freshly boiled egg, it explodes?”

Alban slams his hands on his keyboard so loudly that you hear the switches over his noise suppression. The stream goes from a string of Awesome! notes to nothing but misses as he abandons the game. “YES. Yes, actually, I DO know.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“MEAT! WANTS MEAT! WANTS MEAT! MEAT!”

“AAAAAAAAHHHH!”

The stream is to the birds. Fuck that noise. Godspeed to the Bookworms, they’ll need it, but not nearly as much as you.

When you were settling on a schedule, the last undecided spot for the week was Friday’s stream. That simply wouldn’t do. Friday nights kick off the weekend, and the break from school and work is prime time for a wide audience, so pretty much everyone in Nijisanji reserves their juiciest streams for the weekend. You’re no exception.

…Except for the fact that you didn’t have a clue about what to do for Friday’s stream. One Twitter poll and conveniently timed Steam sale later, you published your schedule with a game your fans voted on: Outlast.

You walked in knowing it would be a horror game, and you figured it would be fine. After all, you’ve played games from Chilla’s Art before, and a few quirky indie psychological releases here and there. You wouldn’t call yourself a stone-faced horror lover that can keep a straight face at anything, but aside from a few creepy moments in those game, you’ve kept your cool relatively well.

Outlast threw all that out the window. You realized almost immediately that you had no idea how to handle the primal fear of the chase.

Footsteps pound against a metal floor. You plead for help in the emptiness of your home as you smash the controls, as if that would make your character move the cabinet over the door any faster. Screams resonate in tune between you and the chained man in the room with you, and all the while, the howling of your pursuer grows louder and louder as he gets closer.

You finally uncover the door and dash through. Tremors run though all your thoughts while your heart beats overtime.

You still haven’t gotten used to all the jumpscares, even though you’re at the edge of your seat and ready to start running yourself. A fork in the road approaches, and when you start off one direction, you’re greeted by a bloodied man in the distance. “AAAHH!”

Faster than light, you slam the key to the other hall and book it. You spot a new storage container to shove in front of the door just in time for text to appear on the screen: Look for pushable objects to block doors.

“No shit, why wouldn’t you tell me that before, oh my God, aaaaah!” The screams—from both the voice actors and your own cries—grate against your eardrums while chase music thunders in-between the gasps for air.

As you grab the container and start to push, you mash the pause button. When the menu appears, you lean back in your chair and run your hands over your face. Your model pouts cutely while the real you whimpers. The mic barely picks it up.

You take a breath before groaning in fear and pain. “Guys. I don’t think I can do this…” Another groan as you trail off. “This game is so much. Give me a second.”

As you raise yourself back from your chair, it’s with a slump forward. Your chat is full of headpat emotes and hearts in your color, along with some quick words of courage. A few are recommending you take a break. “Thanks, Bookworms. I’m so afraid, but I’m committed and I don’t want to just leave it here.”

Your eyes flutter closed as you take a sip of water to clear your head. The cold drink startles you out of the dingy asylum atmosphere, but the screaming still lingers between your ears. “You know what? Who else is online right now? Maybe I need someone in VC to hold me to this.”

The emojis in chat slowly patter out as your viewers go back to text. Looks like most of your Bookworms like the idea of calling someone else while you stream the game. Some of their messages catch your eye.

gatamiizuus: you can call ike :ReaderHeadpat:

messXed-up!: ike!!

lunasmortas: what about ike?

A few more chats mention Ike, and while usually you’d be irritated they mentioned another liver out of the blue, your shoulders still relax at the sight of his name. “Wait, Ike? Is Ike here?”

You scroll back in the chat history, and search for any mod messages. Sure enough, barely a minute ago while you were still being chased:

Ike Eveland 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : GANBARE!

You cling onto that message like a lifeline. Ike is familiar. Ike is comforting. And most importantly, Ike would never call you a pussy.

Chat floods over with his name while you check the official Nijisanji Discord server. Almost everyone in Nijisanji sets their status to offline by default, and Ike is one of them, but you still scan through the member list anyways, praying a little green indicator will light up by his icon.

His status doesn’t change, but before you can even click on his profile, your Direct Messages tab gains a notification. He just messaged you.

Ike Eveland: Watching your stream right now

Ike Eveland: Are you okay?

You exhale. Ike is the most dependable guy you know, even when it’s pure coincidence he was watching your stream while you freaked out.

With your heart still in your throat, you respond.

Me: uuuuuuugh i guess

Me: the game is really scary

Me: i don’t want to cancel the stream but i don’t think i can play it by myself 😭

Ike Eveland: 🫂 | 🫂 1 |

Ike Eveland: Would you feel better if I called you?

Me: i was just about to ask | 👌 1 |

Me: you don’t have to if you don’t want to tho!! i don’t want to be a nuisance lol

Ike Eveland: Don’t worry I offered to!

Ike Eveland started a voice call.

“Ikeee!” The second the call starts, all your restraint goes forgotten. “Ike, I was so scared!”

You babble on about everything you’ve endured up to this point: the gore, the grime, and the patients in the asylum that hunt you like animals.

“I’m here, it’s alright now,” he assures you. “I’m here, okay? Take your time, you’re safe.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m relieved. But it was so scary.” You sink and bury yourself in the collar of your shirt. “You’ve streamed this before, and kept a cool head the entire time, right? How do you do it?”

“Well, it wasn’t my first time playing, for starters. Everyone gets freaked out at first. It’s a horror game, Reader, it’s okay to react to it. I remember the first time I played it, it scared me so bad I had to quit after half an hour.” He giggles a bit at himself. The sound is comforting. “That was a few years ago. I think I had nightmares about it, until I realized I needed to know the rest of the story. ”

Your voice is small. “That was really brave of you.”

“I avoided it for days. I doubt that’s brave.”

“It’s braver than calling someone just to get the guts to play the game.”

“Hey, don’t put my friend Reader down just to bring me up.” He keeps his tone light to let you know you’re allowed to smile. “Being able to face your fears is plenty on its own, and you shouldn’t be devaluing that. How long have you been at it?”

“A little over two hours?” You glance at the stream monitor, and ignore the chat as much as you can. You still register the hearts in your color and his signature blue. “I don’t know. I did a lot of pausing, too, so it’s probably less than that…”

“But you were still able to stream for that long. Remember, I could only play for thirty minutes during my first time! You’re stronger than you think you are.”

You avert your eyes from your stream setup. You feel painfully seen, but the chat is nothing to you. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“Then I’ll be here to remind you. Is that okay?”

“I’d like that.” You return to the screen, and in the darkness of the blurred labyrinth, you see your reflection stare back. Your hair is disheveled from how you kept thrashing around in reaction to the game and your shoulders are high with tension, but only now did you realize how the corners of your lips rose after the call started. Ike really got to you. “Thank you, Ike, you’re so considerate. I appreciate you a lot. You’re a really good guy.”

He chuckles slowly, soft like a blanket. Your shoulders ease. Ike’s words are just as soft, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s nervous too. “Haha, um. Yeah. Thank you?” He doesn’t take compliments well, but they’re true, and you hope he knows it as well as you do. He clears his throat. “Ahem. Um, how are you feeling?”

“Not great, but better. I want to try again.”

“You’ve got this, Reader, you can do it.” Ike is still quiet, but enthusiastic. “You can do it!”

You go shaky. “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.”

But you still press Return To Game.

And when you scream barely five seconds later, Ike is still calm, and you hone in on his voice as you persevere.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Just as you go to bed, you realize that you basically just made a fool of yourself in front of your crush by getting scared at a game he’s already conquered.

You slam a pillow over your face and groan.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Ike lands an all-out attack just in time to check the chat and the swarm of viewers that just joined. “Oh, Reader! Thank you for the raid, it’s good to see you! Welcome, everybody.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : take care of my bookworms for me? i’m getting milk

“Of course. They’re our Quillworms, after all.” You go fuzzy. He remembered the fan name! “Have a good break, Reader! Rest well.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 👍

It was the end of the week, and the stream you just finished was the last on your schedule. You announced a few days ago that you would take a break for a little more than two weeks so you could catch up on offline work as well as rest, and the Bookworms sent you off with a lot of love. It’ll be hard for some of your diehard fans, but you’re sure they’ll manage. You have a feeling it’ll be easier than they expect.

“Speaking of breaks, I haven’t finished my schedule yet. I think I’ll wait a day or two to post it.” The stream cracks in red and black as Ike’s party in Persona 5 Royal clobbers the enemy Shadows. Monsters bleed out behind the protagonist’s cocky smirk. “I’ll be offline for the next two days, so I’ll have some time to think about it.”

Ike mashes through the battle results, and sets back off into exploring the palace. His stream fades into background noise as you get back to the task at hand.

You sent a few messages to some of your other coworkers regarding your break. Next was finishing some paperwork for management, and reaching out to others that needed access to the files. Sure, your time off was for offline work, but the work you had to get done would only take an afternoon at most. You wanted to meet even the far-off deadlines as soon as possible so you could be properly free for the rest of your vacation.

By the time you finished your paperwork, your coworkers were able to respond to you. A group chat full of other livers had a new response every minute about the next two weeks, and Aia sent you a QR code that would let you save some time and money on your flight.

Ike ended yet another super-long P5R stream just a few minutes after you grabbed all your luggage, got to the airport, and made it to your terminal. You had some time to kill, but you were sick of the headphones over your ears.

Not to mention, you were waiting for the fans to catch up on the real reason why you were on break.

Curiously, you log into your private Twitter—you don’t plan to interact with anything but you’re always paranoid about your online presence—and start searching for the code words fans think Vtubers have no idea about. Symbols replace letters and names morph into sounds while emojis speak volumes.

The Stargazers don’t mention it at all. That’s to be expected, after all. Their oshi goes on break often, so nothing seems too out of the ordinary. Besides, you wouldn’t put it past them to have even more intricate subtweets than what you’re looking for.

Only a few of Nina’s Honeybunnies put the pieces together at first, but then you check Quilldren subtweets. As it turns out, when Ike mentioned he’d be taking a few days off, a few of his fans noticed how Nina was going to be offline at the same time, and a smaller fraction of those compared how Mika had yet to release a schedule.

Underneath your face mask, you smile. With the career being dependent on both anonymity and your voice, you wore a nondescript black mask through the entire airport in case someone recognized you, just as well as to hide the tiny giggle that always bubbles up whenever you watch your fans scramble around theorizing. They don’t have all the pieces, after all. None of the Aiadmirers nor the Renvaders even considered it.

They’ll figure it out in time nonetheless. Uki and Nina are close to landing, and Aia was the first to disembark her plane. The rest of your friends are set to arrive after you, and besides, Vox should be ending his last stream of the week right now. You’re sure the Kindred will start plotting in the next hour, provided their oshi didn’t give them too big of a hint about his plans for the next week as he’s known to do.

You board your plane and settle into your seat, ready to nap the flight away. You’ll need the rest, after all. It’s about time you join an off-collab.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Nina doesn’t even get the chance to look away from her phone before she gets a rush of replies on her first voice tweet.

She doesn’t bother to read them anyways. She’s too busy howling out the lyrics to “Wannabe.”

It’ll be hard to discern all the voices. Ike’s high range is always easy to pick out, but Vox blends in as a bass, and you can always hear Mika’s grin through her singing. Ren and Aia are the furthest from the phone, and as loud as they sing, they’re still drowned out along with you, Uki, and Nina herself.

Mika chooses the wrong time to look around the karaoke booth. While Aia sings passionately about what she wants (what she really, really wants), her body language crumples and rises like an electrocuted high school theater kid. The ghost has a hiccuping, sweeping laugh that overpowers half of the singers, and then Aia snorts at herself when Mika covers her mouth, which gets Vox to snort even louder, and before you know it, it’s just Uki and Nina doing their damndest not to break. Even then, Nina’s voice wavers along to the Spice Girls as she resists a laugh, and Uki’s eyes are squeezed shut smiling.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The bar stool slides out from the counter so quietly that you wonder if the Airbnb owner knew just how handy it would be for a house full of streamers on vacation. You lean forward while Mika tells a story about how she, Aia, Ren and you went out for a coffee run, and crossed paths with some teenagers with matching Iluna keychains on their backpacks.

Speaking of Iluna, their represents sat together on the couch. Aia set her plate and fork on the coffee table, not a single pool of sauce left over from the pasta dinner Vox and Uki prepared together. Somehow Ren made enough room in his luggage to bring along a teal ukulele, and idly strums along. Uki sits between Ren and the armrest, swirling the last of his pasta between his fork.

Across from them, Vox and Nina took ownership of two plush chairs that could only fit one person each. Each chair was next to a corner table, and they stacked their plates on top of one another to make room for a jug of orange juice and two cocktail glasses. Ike took a bottle of rum and poured it into his soda, then slid it back to the corner table before pulling up the bar stool next to you.

“It was like, one of them had a clear phone case and held it out to show the others a video,” Mika says. She perched on top of the counter itself, next to her travel microphone and the second-nastiest kitchen stream setup you’ve ever seen. She was no Scarle, but so many wires stretched across the island and along the way that it was just easier for her to climb onto the polished granite to keep an eye on the chat. “Smack-dab in the center was a PNG of Vox. And then a bunch of tinier Voxes around it. And here’s how you know it’s bad, you could see the color of the phone itself through the case because it’s clear, right? It was red. Red! That’s commitment!”

“I’m telling you, Mika, there’s no way they got a red phone just because of Vox,” Aia says. “That’s got to be a coincidence.”

Vox hums into his glass. “No, they absolutely did. You mean to tell me your fans don’t spoil you rotten and buy new phones just because they’re your color?”

“My color is white, Vox, like every phone ever is my color!”

“Still, I’ve never seen Aia go so quiet so fast.” Ren’s ukulele twangs as he grins. His fangs were just as prominent in real life. “It was awesome.”

“It was scary, but funny,” you say. “We saw the Vox case and the Iluna keychains, and all of us just went silent. And we all had masks, too, so it was like, one moment you could hear Ren’s fuckboy laugh, and the second we saw the case, we all put up our masks and went quieter than the grave.”

Ren palms the neck of the ukulele and mutes the chord in mock offense. “Hey! I’m not a fuckboy!”

“Didn’t say you were, but if you want to out yourself like that, be my guest. They’d chop off your horns and sell them like Kyo.”

“One of them had an Aster keychain.” Ren bitterly resumes playing. Uki sets his plate on the table and drapes himself over the alien’s shoulder as he opened up his phone to check the off-collab’s live tag. The stream was supposed to be a live Q&A, but was so easy to talk to everyone that the questions often turned into conversation before someone remembered the stream. “If Aia or I said anything, we’d be fucked.”

“Imagine how fucked we would’ve been if Vox woke up in time to go with us,” you say.

Ike snickers. “Is it bad that I would’ve paid money to see that?”

The two Luxiem members get into a playful argument over who would win in a fight: all the effort Nijisanji and its employees put into protecting their privacy, or one silly phone case. Ren’s riffing turns into a simple rendition of “Iris” and Nina hums along from across the living room. The ukulele is slow and unique enough to not be mistaken for the original, but you wonder if those two would be able to avoid copyright entirely.

Nonetheless, the vibe is comfortable. You’re miles away from home, but in a room with some of your closest friends in the world, it’s like you never left. Truthfully, it’s more like you’ve finally found your place. The music just feels right, like it was written for this moment, and Aia leans back into the couch while Nina sways in her seat to the jaunty little ukulele. Ren looks as cheery as his instrument sounds, especially with a peaceful Uki nuzzled up to him.

While Ike and Vox go at it, Mika props her chin up with both hands and watches them like a reality TV show. There’s a glint in Vox’s eyes as Ike drums up a snide response, the only sane man to the demon’s goofiness. He brings his rum and coke to his lips like punctuation, a silent so, what? hidden in the boozy soda.

Vox knows how to run his mouth, and he launches into one of his patented anecdotes. While all eyes are on the demon and the chat hones in on his voice, you focus on how Ike tilts his head up to drink. His neck stretches out from the collar of his black band tee, and with each sip, his Adam’s apple bobs.

You’ve always thought he was good-looking on stream, but he’s gorgeous in person, all long lines and graceful features, and cameras can’t capture the tiny little freckles drizzled down the back of his neck. You didn’t even know he had freckles. It was only after you saw him for the first time that you noticed pale, reddish dots all over his nose and cheeks, fading out by his temples and the arch of his lips. Spending the day walking around in the sun from place to place revealed more whenever the wind flicked his jacket collar out right. They scatter at his nape, right below the blue tips of his hair, and meet one another further down his back, or so you’d presume. Without the jacket, you can catch marks spread out along his arms with distance between one another, and his shirt sleeve starts right where the freckles cluster together. You can only imagine how far down they go.

You avert your eyes. You can’t think about what’s under the shirt when you’re sitting right next to him, and certainly not while on stream, even if chat can’t see you check him out!

Unfortunately, the side opposite of Ike is the one with Ren and Uki. Those two are idyllic. Without a care in the world, it seems. You envy how easily Uki can act on what he wants, even if you know he doesn’t see Ren like how you see Ike. Ren doesn’t mind it at all, either. He literally lives by the rhythm of his own ukulele.

Ike lowers his drink with his eyes closed, as if it would make the refreshing feeling last longer. His eyelashes are the same ashen color as his hair. Gold gleams between his ears and on the chain of his glasses.

Possessed by the music, and distracted by the rambling, you become one with the background and lean along Ike’s arm.

It’s an indulgent dip into the waters, but shallow compared to all you feel for him. Ever since you met Ike in person it’s been easier to control yourself around him, and if anything, you’re reminded that this is the man you’ve gotten the closest to in both career and friendship. The only barrier between your cheek and his body is his shirt sleeve, but your arm rests against his forearm, right where the freckles taper off. There’s no resistance at all as you make yourself comfortable in the crook of his arm.

But you hold yourself back. Even though the off-collab made you feel gutsier than before, you think that you’d pass out if you tried anything else. Besides, you feel so at peace against his arm, but too afraid to look up and see his reaction.

The blend of peace and fear churns in your heart as it dawns on you: you were wrong to call this a crush. It runs far deeper than you could’ve imagined.

Vox says something with finality. His voice snaps you out of your thoughts, but the words go unregistered. As he spoke, his eyes drifted around with his body language, but he snaps to look at Ike expectantly. You swear his smirk gets a little more mischievous as he does.

The air stills, even though you know eyes aren’t on you, just the man you lean on. It stays frozen as Ike waits to respond. You still don’t have the heart to look up at him and break your selfish, unrequited fantasy.

You just want to stay here, unresisted.

Ike deadpans. “Anyways.”

Just like that, the moment is over, and Mika laughing at Vox striking out clears the air around you. But Vox’s eyes fall to you for just a split second as he moves in his seat. Frost settles down your back at the thought that he knows, but there’s a solid chance he hasn’t connected the dots. You pray he hasn’t.

Then you see Fox Mom herself right behind him, and she shoots you a shit-eating grin with a hand over her heart and a glass in the other.

No doubt about it. You’re screwed.

The frost turns to glaciers and burns into hot shame all at once. You love Nina, you really do, and you’d always consider her a good friend before coworker. However, she’s known for fishing around for any crumb of fanservice, and she gets straight to the point whenever she eggs it on, not to mention how she loves to tease her kids on just about anything. You are never going to hear the end of this if she can help it.

You really don’t know what you expected. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, even the chat. You can’t help but feel bitter. How come Uki can flirt with as many guys as he wants, you wonder, but I can’t even touch Ike without getting eyed up?

You know the answer, but it doesn’t do anything to help the bitterness and the embarrassment, and how much you want to hide. On instinct, you take advantage of the warmth and nestle yourself deeper into Ike to hide your face, just in time as he curls his head above yours.

Nina makes a sound kind of like a fork stuck in the garbage disposal for the briefest of moments before smashing her lips together and bringing her glass to her mouth like a mute button. As if you didn’t feel seen enough.

“Find any other questions, Uki-senpai?” Aia’s nose is buried in her phone, and God, you could kiss her for changing the subject. As much as she poked fun about you about Ike, she was still a total angel and a ride-or-die all at once.

“Oh, I have questions,” Uki says. Luckily, he’s graceful enough to leave it at that. “Twitter wants to know first impressions for everyone that hasn’t off-collabed before.”

Ren speaks. “I think the only person I’ve done an off-collab with before is Nina, so is it cool if I go first?”

Aia gestures for him to go on. She’s still stuck on her phone as he continues.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, but you ignore it. Then again and again and again, and when you finally check it, you understand why. When Aia, Mika and Alban first heard you spill your feelings for Ike, they made a group chat dedicated to wingmanning—or at least, that’s what they pitched it as. They tease you more than anything else, and as irritating as it gets… you have to admit, it’s nice to confide in them, and nice to know they wouldn’t hold it against you.

Anyways, Alban’s going apeshit.

Group Chat: 💙 PENANDPAPER REAL 2K4EVER 💕 (4 Members)

Aia Amare: image.png | 📌 2 |

Alban Knox: AKDHSLSJDKSHSA

Alban Knox: AASDFSDF

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: HAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA KYAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: 💕💕💕💙💕💙💕💙💙💙💕💙💕💕💙

Alban Knox: 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Alban Knox: HOW ARE YOU GUYSS NOT LOSING YUOR MINDSA BOUT THIS

Aia Amare: I AM

Me: omfg did you seriously get a picture of us

Alban Knox: WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGG DONT CHDCK THIS GC | 👆 1 |

Me: wtf did you expect you’re spamming

Alban Knox: YOU AR ELITERALLY CUDDLNG GO FOCUS ON THAY JOT US

Me: we are not cuddling

Alban Knox: YOU ARE

Aia Amare: YOU ARE

Mika Melatika pinned a message. | 🖕 1 |

Me: mika wth you too? 😭

Mika Melatika: image.png

Me: did you srsly take a selfie with us in the background

Mika Melatika: YES this needs to be immortalized

Me: you people suck | 🥰 3 |

Alban Knox: GET THAT NOVELIST BUSSY!!!!

Aia Amare: As if you aren’t about to save that picture yourself~

Alban Knox: NOVELUSSY!!!!!!!!!

Fuck, she got you there. You cast a pointed look at the angelic maiden herself, or at least as pointed as you can be with a man you’re scared to love wrapped around you. She looks as satisfied as a cat pushing a glass off a counter.

You set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and placed it behind you on the counter with a huff.

“Reader, honey, how about you?” Nina leans forward, half-lidded and as sultry as ever. She swirled her drink around in its glass. “It’s your first off-collab ever, right? I’d love to hear what you have to say.”

“Oh, well, um.” Your brain struggles to catch up. “First impressions, right…”

Aia slips you a thumbs up. You’re going to rip her a new one after this. Her, and Mika, and definitely Nina; this is the most subtle Nina’s ever been but you can tell she’s fishing for an answer here. You can take your friends figuring it out, embarrassing as it is, but you are not about to expose yourself to thousands of live viewers.

“It’s kind of crazy actually meeting up with everyone,” you start. “I’ve known them for so long, but all online, and being able to match the voice to the face in real life, I don’t think I can actually describe it. It’s kind of surreal, but it feels so nice to just talk to them in person. Aia, Nina and Uki were the first people I met up with, and man, those three are a sight. I know everyone says it, but Uki is absolutely the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Nina and Aia are really pretty, too. Hey, Aiadmirers, did you know when your oshi laughs, she looks just as cute as she sounds?”

Aia yells. “Reader, shut up!”

“Then stop being so cute all the time, you dork!”

“I’m not a dork! I’m cool!”

You resume, satisfied with your revenge. “Mika and Vox are both really chill. They’re kind of quiet, so if you’re just walking by, you’d think they’re two normal people just going about their days. But whenever we talk it’s always something insane. Vox sounds like a dignified gentleman and Mika is kind of like that cool girl that you want to be friends with, but if you actually pay attention, Mika’s showing Vox a picture of her insides during surgery while he’s reciting something about the Bite of ‘87. And Ren is probably one of the most straightforward people you’ll ever see. He’s so optimistic, and really expressive, too, even though most of the expressions are all different types of smiles.”

“What’s your impression of Ike?” Nina asks.

What does she expect you to say to that one, that screens can’t capture how the sun glitters through his glassy green eyes? Hearing him say your name in-person sends shockwaves through your body? How you want to kiss every little freckle he’s never mentioned before and keeps hidden under long sleeves, even though it’s the beautiful skin he lives in daily?

“Same old Ike. He’s exactly like how I expected,” you say. A total fib.

She cocks her head. “Really? Even after all the time you’ve spent together?”

“I’m trying to hang out with everyone.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

Cornered. Nina takes a long, slow drink from her glass as you scramble for a quick answer that won’t immediately out you. “Whenever I talk to Ike, he’s really emotive. You can tell what he’s thinking before he says anything. He also has a good sense of style, so he’s fun to go shopping with, and honestly, fun to do anything with. He’s someone you can always have a good time with, and always makes you feel so comfortable around him. Ike’s magnetic.”

Mika muffles a coo behind you. You’re going to kill her if you survive this stream.

“That’s very sweet, Reader,” Nina replies. “Hear that, Ike?”

“Yes, I did.” He sounds strained.

“Got any feelings about it?”

“Yes? I mean—er, thanks?” You feel Ike’s head rustle. “I, umm. What am I supposed to say about that?”

“I don’t know. I just think that about you, that’s all…”

“Aww, cute. I love that you love each other,” Nina muses.

Ike spits out, “It’s not like that!” Just as you admit, “Yeah, I guess so.”

You process his words too late, though, and even as you sputter the ukulele music cuts out just in time with Nina and Mika’s unfiltered fangirl squeals. Ren’s palms mute the chord as his eyes go wide. Aia is already on her phone with her jaw to the floor and Uki throws a look at Nina while he mouths, did that just happen?

“I-I mean!” Your throat goes dry and Ike lurches away from you when Vox gleefully shakes Nina like a rag doll. “I—wh—Ike, I mean, of course I love you—“ Mika screams again— “As a friend!”

When you turn to face Ike, he’s curled up into a ball on the barstool with his shirt collar over his face. Even as you feel the blood rush to your face, you keep shouting. That’s all you have left. You’re live. “Like, we’re best friends on and off stream and I love you!”

He mutters something, but you can’t tell what. Only his neck and the tips of his ears poke out from his shirt. Were they always that red?

You repeat yourself. “I said, we’re best friends and I love you, so much!”

“And I said, I know, thank you, I love you too, Reader!” Ike jerks out to face you as he cries. He looks like a tomato.

Then he buries his face into his hands and squeaks like how he always does when something’s too cute to handle, or he’s got too many emotions he needs to let out. “You can’t see me, I’m too embarrassed. I’m hiding forever and I’m never coming out.”

You hope the ground swallows you up and you never have to confront this moment again.

Uki hisses under his breath and muffles Ren's ukulele. You don't know what he said, but you realize all too late that the alien prince himself was laying down the first few notes of “Fly Me To The Moon.”

While you slump and fold your arms over your face on the counter in pure embarrassment, Aia stands up and commandeers the mic. She slaps a hand over Mika’s mouth to muffle the scream. “Man, bummer that Ike-senpai is gone from us forever, but you know what else might be gone forever if you don’t get it now? The sponsor for this stream, our current limited-edition Nijisanji voice packs!”

And as much as you could kiss her yet again for changing the subject, you can’t get over how everything blew up in the last five minutes, and groan into your arms instead.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The stream passed, luckily, without a hitch after that. No one asked any questions, but it was pretty damn clear everyone in the room had an idea of what just happened, and the impending shitstorm. In fact, it was so clear that when you stalked off to your room to sulk, no one made a fuss, and when you realized ten minutes into your sulking session that you left your phone on the counter, you figured it wasn’t worth it to show your face again until after you finished your pity party.

The entire time, you laid in your bed with a pillow over your face so you could pretend like you were being absorbed into the sweet embrace of death. Overdramatic, sure, but you figured you were justified.

Without your phone, you had no way to check exactly how bad the fallout was on Twitter. The poor Pen and Paper tags were sure to be flooded with fans imagining a happy ending to that stint you’d never be able to experience yourself, like salt in the wound. Not to mention, it was a huge seven-person off-collab! It didn’t just end with the Pen and Paper fans. No, it would extend past the Bookworms and the Quilldren, and certainly to the rest of the fandoms with an oshi in this Airbnb. Maybe even the offshoot viewers who don’t regularly watch your content, but made an exception for the off-collab, or, you know, the ones who have no idea who you or Ike are but can’t get enough of the whole accidental-confession-live-on-stream thing. Forget Nina; the entire Vtuber community is never, ever, ever going to live this down.

Ike sounded so distraught, too. You wanted to kick yourself for it. Not only did you make a fool of yourself, but he got caught in the crossfire just because you didn’t catch yourself slipping. Not like he’d reciprocate anyways. He’s always been bad at taking compliments, but you keep thinking about how embarrassed he was about you loving him.

All your frustration and humiliation coursed through the darkness under your pillow, and you stew so bitterly that you don’t even dream when you fall asleep.

You just wake up groggy and exhausted, but too restless to go back to sleep. You look out the window, and the stars have barely come out to play in the early night sky.

As much as you’d hate to admit it, that impromptu nap made you tired of brooding. Besides, you can’t hide from your friends forever. Hopelessly in love or not, they’re still your friends, and even if you decided to stream during the trip, this off-collab was always about spending time with them instead of worrying over your online presence.

It takes you half an hour to hype yourself up, but eventually, you open your door and step out into the hall.

You can already hear voices further away in the Airbnb. You place one of them as Nina, and after her, a baritone that could only belong to Vox.

“…Fuck Twitter, they’re going to forget about it in two weeks or less anyways.” You overhear as you walk down the hall of rooms and closer to the living room. You’ve heard Vox passionate before, but never this serious as well. “Besides, what exactly did they say?”

A mumble. You can’t place the words, but you bristle when you recognize the voice. That’s unmistakably Ike.

“See? Again, I’m so sorry. I was out of line, and I forgot my place. I shouldn’t have interrogated them like that,” Nina says. “But you’re overthinking what they said.”

Another mumble. By now, you’re in the kitchen. You lift your phone from where you left it, and hold your fingers over the half of the screen where your notifications appear as you check the time. It’s barely 11 PM.

The kitchen and living room are connected, with plenty of seating space all around. That was why Mika’s travel laptop was still on the counter and plugged into the wall from the stream earlier, but on the other side of the wall from the kitchen, you noticed an open window and silhouettes from it. Four people sat on the shallow roof overlooking the uneven ground plenty of feet under the building. A pair of fox ears twitch at the night wind as they watched the stars grow brighter in the sky.

You look through the fridge. You’re peckish, but if you were to be honest with yourself, you’re trying to stay quiet for a reason.

There’s a huff. “Oh my god, dude. Just tell Reader already.”

You stand up a little straighter. Mika was with them? Were they talking about you?

“There’s nothing to be said, Mika!” Ike huffs back. “I’m screwed anyways. Just drop it, okay? I don’t need this getting in the way of what was supposed to be just a normal trip.”

“You can’t keep running away forever. Just act like an adult and tell them. It’s going to be fine, I swear.”

“And how exactly do you know that?”

“Well…” Mika trails off. “I can’t say. I just know, okay?”

“Uh-huh. And I know I’m screwed.” The wind rustles outside. You stay motionless. “Just two weeks. Can I please just have two weeks where I don’t have to worry about this until the trip is over.”

It’s a question, but he says it with such exasperation that no one can consider any other answers.

“Fine.” Nina relinquishes. “Have it your way. I’m just worried for you two.”

“It’s going to work out, Ike. But I’m tired.” Vox stifles a yawn. “Tomorrow is going to be better. Let it go for the night and come back to it once you’re in better shape, and just remember. It’s going to work out.”

“Thanks, Vox.”

“Now get in here.”

You hear shuffling fabric before the two men start yelling. Vox cackles while Ike cries through gritted teeth. “Dang it, Vox, I’m going to shove you off this roof!”

“Get ruffled, idiot! That’s your fault for trusting me!”

“I just wanted a hug!”

You snicker under your breath. Vox loves to ruffle Ike’s hair despite the latter’s protests, though he tends to accept it instead of shove him off like anyone else that would dare. Besides, as dreary as Ike sounded during that conversation, he nearly sounded like his old self as Vox and the others laughed.

“I think I’ll go too. Mommy needs her beauty sleep.”

“Mm, I’m still pretty awake. Wanna keep looking at the sky with me, Ike?”

“Sure. Here, Nina, let me move out of the way…”

Shuffling turns to footsteps, and brings you back to reality. You busy yourself looking through the paltry groceries.

The sound of footsteps gets louder and louder, until they become a hollow click on the hardwood floor. Nina crawls through the window, but stops in her tracks with a startled noise.

You turn around and nod as casually as possible. “Oh, hey, Nina.”

Vox is also halfway through the window, and his eyes go comically wide as he forgets how to move. “Oh. Hey. Reader. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah! Um!” Nina coughs long enough to make you uncomfortable. “What are you doing here?”

“Took a nap. Got hungry.” It’s not a lie. You grope around in the fridge and breathe a sigh of relief when you see a stick of string cheese in your hands. “You guys just hanging out?”

Nina nods. “Yeah, we were on the roof. It’s getting late, though. You should get some rest for tomorrow—“

Vox elbows her. “But not after looking at the sky for a little bit. It’s beautiful. Very clear. Romantic, even. The architects did a wonderful job placing this house right at the perfect angle to watch the stars rise. Did I mention it was romantic?”

You act natural and take a big bite out of the string cheese. “Once or twice. Is it the seniors’ bedtime?”

“You got me,” Vox says.

“I love going to sleep early and giving my kids private time before bed to reflect and hold deep conversations with one another about their feelings,” Nina says. “And also nighttime face masks.”

“Woo, skincare, what she said.”

“Hey, by the way, Reader, honey, did you hear anything we talked about?”

“No,” you lie.

“Cool,” Vox says. You eat the rest of the string cheese in one bite. “Good for you. And goodnight, Reader.” He dusts himself off before casting his golden gaze down at you. “Be nice, will you?”

Shivers go down your back. You have a feeling he’s referring to something unspoken. “I will.”

“That’s my sweet thing,” he purrs. “Anyways, I’m going the fuck to beddy bye. Honk shoo, Reader, don’t stay up too late.”

Vox struts off with dark hair flowing behind him and the scent of his aftershave in the air. He leaves you to stand awkwardly next to Nina.

Suddenly, she takes you by your shoulders and forces you in front of her. You blurt out an unflattering startled noise before she gets right up in your face and stares dead into your eyes.

“Please be good,” she says darkly. Was that a threat? “Please be so, so good to my baby.”

“I will,” you say, more out of fear than anything else.

She blinks once, then she’s back to the doting mother you know and love. She squeezes your shoulders. “Thank you, honey! Sweet dreams!”

And just like the Voice Demon before her, Nina bounds off to her room.

Huh. That was weird. Nonetheless, you’re alone in the living room, and you can see the outline of Ike and Mika sitting on the roof in silence.

You lightly knock on the side of the window. They both perk up at the sound. “Cool if I join you?”

Mika responds quickly. “Sure! Watch your step, Reader. The roof isn’t that steep but it would be awkward if you ate shit.”

“Agreed.” You step onto the tiling, and shift your body to match the angle. You feel like a newborn deer learning to walk. Luckily, Nina and Vox leaving meant that there was more than enough space for you right next to the window.

Ike sits between you and Mika. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

‘Pretty’ is putting it mildly. The stars are so clear tonight, and scatter across the sky like sequins. The Airbnb was located further away from the heart of the city, so the darkness only amplified how bright the stars shone against the stark night. A breeze drags through the air and fallen leaves rustle between the grass.

“This is so nice.” Comfort settles into you like the breeze in your hair. “I love it.”

Ike sighs. “Right? It’s so peaceful.”

“And there’s so many more stars out here than there are in the city.”

“It makes you want to just zone out and cool down.”

“Yeah, totally.” Mika coughs. “Huh! Cool! Well, I’m tired now. Just keep staying out here and enjoy the sky, I’m going to bed. Enjoy yourselves.”

Mika inelegantly shuffles around your bodies and slips back inside before either of you can properly tell her goodnight.

Ike cocks his head as he watches her stumble through the window. “She just said she would stay out…”

“Hm?”

“Ah, nothing. Just thinking to myself.”

With the extra space, Ike leans back and lays along the roof. The stars cast a dreamy glow over his soft smile as he continues. “It really is something that just makes you want to have a deep conversation, or just think, you know?”

You hum in agreement. You get what he means, but there’s only one topic you can imagine having a deep conversation about right now, and it’s the very one you brooded over earlier that day.

But Ike is Ike. He’s rational and calm and kind, and laughs at your stupid jokes, and texts you first before any of your other mutual friends. The night turns the tips of his hair bluer than usual, and the stars remind you of the freckles hidden along his creamy skin. His glasses reflect the galaxy above.

Even though today’s stream was embarrassing, you know Ike trusts you enough to tell you if you’ve ever crossed a boundary. After all, it’s commonplace to discuss limits on and off stream as soon as possible, and your friendship was so strong that you’ve both opened up to one another. He’d let you know if the whole cuddling thing was too much. Besides, he didn’t resist. He even rested his head on yours. That has to account for something, right?

You snap out of your thoughts when you feel a gentle tug on the sleeve of your hoodie. It’s Ike. He asks, “Lay down with me?”

A wave of fondness washes over you like the tide. He’s cute when he’s earnest like this. You get as comfortable as you can on the tiling, and when you still, you hear something shift before your hand grows warm. Ike scooted closer to you, and placed his pinky finger over yours.

This is bliss. A beautiful sight with a beautiful boy next to you. Your best friend.

“I do love you,” you say.

It just feels right to say.

Ike is silent. He doesn’t make a single sound as you stare up at the stars and the blackened sky. The breeze rocks a tree, and as the leaves part, you see the moon for the first time: one thin, waning crescent that blends into the darkness.

Ike’s head is turned away from you. You can’t tell what he’s thinking at all.

“…I don’t know what you mean,” he admits. “You do? As a friend?”

“We’ve always been friends.”

“Just that?”

“I don’t know what you’re asking me, Ike.”

“N-never mind. I’m sorry, am I making it weird?”

“No, you could never make it weird.” The colors of the view gloss together. You feel like a balloon slowly deflating. “Feels like that’s all I’m doing lately, though.”

Neither of you say anything.

This was a bad idea.

You swear the rustling leaves mock you.

“Wait.” Ike practically snatches your hand up. “Wait, Reader, are you saying you like me?”

“Yeah. I’m saying that I love you.”

Ike stares at you, and if you had to choose just one word to describe his expression, it’s stricken. His mouth is slightly parted, and his shocked eyes drive holes through your skin, leaving you exposed. The brief stutter that escapes him sounds like it was dredged out from frozen, murky waters. “I—”

He drops your hand and turns away.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, barely audible. “This is… this is a lot.”

“I’m sorry too, this was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?” You get on your feet, but the slope makes what could’ve been a fluid motion into a stumbling, slow rise, as if your legs weren’t jelly enough already. You inch to the window mortified. “I think I should go. Sorry to bother you.”

You don’t dare to glance at him before you step back inside, not even when he calls your name halfway through the window.

Once you’re back in the living room, you cover your face, then drag your hands through your hair. You can’t even begin to describe how exhausted you feel. This is heartbreak, isn’t it?

You blink furiously, and the outline of a figure by the fridge comes into view.

“Reader?” Mika asks. She has a stick of string cheese in her hand, but walks to you. “Reader, what happened—”

You take her empty hand and pace to your room. You open the door. “Are you okay?”

The second it shuts, your breath hitches. Mika doesn’t hesitate to take you in her arms. She holds you as the first tear falls, and you begin to cry.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You wake up the next day sprawled in your bed, even though the blankets are tucked comfortably around you. On the floor is a pillow and another pile of blankets, and when you recognize the dark hair tied into a loose ponytail, the memories of last night come rushing back.

What an awful night. Awful decisions all day, really, and all of them ones you made. You really don’t know what you were thinking. You groan at the memory.

“Reader?” Mika perks up. Her phone is in her hands, but she sits up level to your face on the floor. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

Another groan.

“Yeah, I figured,” she says. “Nina, Vox and Ike went out to do their own thing, and I think Ren and Uki are cafe-hopping. It’s just you, me and Aia in the house right now.”

You rub the sleepy out of your eyes. “That’s cool, I guess.” You cast a downward glance to Mika’s makeshift bed on the floor. “Sorry for being a nuisance.”

“You’re not a nuisance, Reader, don’t say that.” She nudges you. “We’re friends. It’s what friends do. Speaking of, do you want Aia to come by? And Alban’s online, so I can call him, too. If you want.”

“It’d be nice…”

Less than ten minutes pass before Aia shows up at your door with breakfast sandwiches and orange juice. All three of you sit on the blanketed floor while Mika voice calls Alban on her phone. A pot of coffee brews over speakerphone as you recount last night.

“...And to make things worse, we just streamed yesterday,” you explain. “God, I should check Twitter. There’s got to be a million people with eyes on our ship tag, and ugh, I hate thinking about how many weirdos are going to push a ship that can’t work out IRL.”

“I can check it for you,” Aia offers. You hand her your phone. “You remember your Twitter password?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Sorry in advance.” She deletes the app off your home screen.

You begin to protest, but she turns off the phone and sets it aside, out of your reach. “You’re off the clock, Reader! Work troubles can wait until you’re back online, and that includes doomscrolling. You can redownload it when you’re in a better headspace.”

“I really hate admitting you’re right.”

“Shit, Reader,” Alban finally says. “He seriously dropped the ball. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I really thought he would get it, but it took him so long to piece it together, like he never thought about us like that before. I should’ve known it was just me. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, you’re hurt,” Mika says. “It’s understandable, but that still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“Is it wrong that I feel like I deserve it? I mean, I knew day one that this wouldn’t work out. We work together online, and we have fans that ship us with each other and the rest of this company, for fuck’s sake. Getting heartbroken was inevitable and I still went for it. Either I’m a glutton for pain or I’m just plain clueless.”

Alban’s voice is distant from the phone as he messes with his coffee maker. You can’t properly hear him under his breath and over the pot, but if you could, you could’ve heard him mumble, Trust me, you’re not the only clueless one here.

But he returns back at the phone, and you’re totally oblivious. “You can’t choose who you fall for,” he says. “It was really that bad?”

“It took him like a minute to realize I was confessing. And then when he realized it, he apologized to me.”

Aia straightens. “Did he say no?”

“Not really, but why would he apologize if he reciprocated?”

Aia exchanges a look with Mika. Alban grumbles. “No fucking way.”

“Tell me exactly how he reacted,” Aia instructs. She plowed through her sandwich during the conversation, but she left the remaining half on her plate forgotten as she laced her fingers together and leaned forward like a calculated boss.

“It was like he couldn’t comprehend what I was saying at first. He asked if I meant it as friends, until he asked me if I liked him. And when I told him I loved him in response, he was so shocked that he let go of my hand, so I left.”

“No fucking way,” Alban repeats, and groans as he drawls out his words. You can practically hear him drag his hands over his face. “No fucking way. Ikeeeee. He seriously dropped the ball.”

“I know. I can’t believe it.”

Aia takes both of your hands in her own. “Reader, I’m not even saying this to hurt you, but this is the clumsiest confession I’ve ever heard of.”

You squint. “Right, that makes me feel so much better.”

“I’m really not! You know what this sounds like? Miscommunication,” she declares. “You didn’t get a solid yes or no. So now it’s going to be awkward between you two until you get an actual answer to the confession, or at least some kind of resolution. You wanna know what I think? It sounds like he didn’t even believe what he was hearing before you left. Which, by the way, is a common response to not just confessions but other major news, so chances are you didn’t blow up your friendship as hard as you thought.”

“She has a point,” Alban says. “I believe you, Reader, but Ike isn’t the type of person to just crush other people’s feelings like that. You just woke up, right?”

“I haven’t even left my room yet. Mika says everyone else is out of the house. He’s with Vox and Nina, I think.”

“So then he hasn’t had a chance to talk to you since the confession,” he continues. “And those three are really close. I’m willing to bet they’re helping him manage it, ‘cause it sounds like he’s going through it just as confused as you are.”

You stare at the floor. Hope feels foreign, yet you can’t help but wonder. You struggle to remember the exact way Ike reacted last night, but you really can’t tell what facts were clouded over by the rejection. A rejection that possibly didn’t even happen, mind you. The confusion and regret blurs over everything like water on wet ink.

“You really think so?” You quietly ask.

Aia nods, and Alban agrees over the phone.

Mika pipes up, a glass of juice in her hands. “Here’s my take. We can theorize as much as we want, but none of us really know what Ike’s thinking about, least of all you. Especially since you didn’t actually resolve anything, and that tension is going to eat at you until you get an answer or it actually damages your friendship. You ask me, the next best thing you can do is bring it up.”

She takes a sip of her juice and leaves you to absorb her advice.

You mull it over along with the memory of last night. “He called my name as I left.”

Alban chokes on his coffee. “He called your name?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t respond.”

“Oh my God. READER!” He shouts so loud that Mika turns the volume down. “I’m going to lose it. I’m actually freaking it right now. Reader!”

“What?”

“Fuck what Mika said earlier, you are stupid!”

“Hey!”

“I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, you are so stupid. He was trying to talk to you!”

Your face goes through a handful of emotions as you sputter. “Are you serious, Alban?”

“Yes! Mika, Aia, back me up.”

Aia crinkles her nose. “I did just say it sounded like a total miscommunication.”

Meanwhile, Mika twirls a lock of red-and-black hair between her finger, distracting herself. She hesitates, trying to figure out exactly how she wants to say her piece, before she simply shakes her head and stills. “Just talk to him.”

“Which is easier said than done.” Your shoulders roll back as you stare up at the ceiling, your hands supporting you as you lean. Even with your friends’ encouragement, the memory of how hard you blew it last night still haunts you. It’s even worse than starting at ground zero; you’ve already tasted failure once, and you’re hesitant to embarrass yourself again.

That stricken look Ike gave you flashes across your sight every time you blink. What was he thinking when he stared at you like that? You can’t tell if the disgust is true or if your anxieties are getting the best of you.

The best solution to anxieties, however, is looking at the facts—or at least, what isn’t tainted by your bias. Your friends mentioned there was nothing wrong with a workplace romance, and as much as the stream made you want to cringe, no one seemed put off by it. Alban and Aia are set on getting you and Ike to talk, and so is Mika. In fact, Mika spoke with Ike as well as Vox and Nina last night before you entered, and even if you had no idea what those four were talking about, you still picked up your name and that apparently Ike had something to tell you.

Pieces start to fall into place when you consider the three around you, staging an intervention over a late breakfast. Aia always gets you in situations where you can be close to Ike and bails you out when it gets awkward, and as much as he won’t get off your back about it, Alban gave you great advice between all his teasing. Mika was nosy at first when she learned about your feelings, but now that you think about it, she’s been incredibly tactful ever since the off-collab began.

You can’t help but snicker as you connect the dots. “Is this the first time you guys actually started wingmanning for me?”

Aia purses her lips. “Hey, not the first. Remember when we made that group chat? We’ve always been your wingmen.”

“I know. But you guys are seriously helping,” you say. “Thanks. Though I do wonder, Mika…”

She perks up as you say her name. “Be real with me. Do you know more than you’re letting on?”

She flinches. Alban’s fingers snap over the phone. “Busted.”

Mika holds her hands up like a criminal caught in the act, but there’s a loose, sly smile hanging on her face. “I don’t think it’s my place to say.”

“What do you mean, it’s not your place to say?”

“I’m sorry, Reader, but I made a promise not to spill, and I’ve been doing way too much behind the scenes to break the promise like that. Just do me a favor and talk to the guy, will you? That’s the best I can tell you.” Mika rests her head in a hand, and the smirk looks even more knowing. “And if you can’t figure it out after that, then you’re definitely stupid.”

You bluster. “I’m not stupid!”

“Still remains to be seen.” Aia gently flicks your forehead. “But you do look a lot better. How are you feeling now?”

Aside from the fading pain on your forehead? You’re surprised at how much lighter you feel now that you unloaded all your worries with your friends. The rejection still stings, and you’re not exactly confident, but, well, you’re smiling. The clean, tangy taste of orange juice lingers between your tongue. Aia and Mika sitting on the pile of blankets reminds you that regardless of your love life, they’d stay by your side until the bitter end, and Alban’s voice keeps you connected with your friends no matter where in the world you are.

You snatch Aia’s half-eaten sandwich off her plate and sink your teeth into the bread. She cries out in protest. “Hey!”

“Better now.” You set the sandwich back where you found it. Even though your future with Ike looks cloudy, the smile doesn’t leave. “Don’t flick me.”

“Speaking of.” Mika picks up the phone and scrolls through her messages. “Nina just texted that she, Vox and Ike will come back in an hour or less. Reader, are you up for this?”

“What do you mean, ‘up for this?’”

“Just seeing Ike again. It was a weird night,” she says. “I stand by what I said, but if it’s going to be too much too soon, then Aia and I can cover for you until you feel better.”

“I don’t know.” That’s what gets your expression to sink from light to thoughtful. “I think I want to take your advice. I just don’t know if I’m ready to talk it out yet.”

“Still wanna hang out with us or take a moment to yourself?”

“I think I’d just go back to moping if I was alone,” you joke.

“Cool. Let me go grab some nail polish Nina gave me yesterday.” Mika rises and strides to the door. “You have a steadier hand than me. And Nina said the color suits me more than her.”

Aia’s face lights up. She happily cries ”Girls’ night!” even though it’s barely noon and Alban is decidedly not a girl, but then he croons something in a valley girl accent so strong you can’t even tell what he’s saying. Scratch that; he’s a girl by association.

When he drawls out one long “Yaaaaaas, bestie!” you can’t help but laugh. Your love life is in shambles, but at least your friendships are solid as hell. You’d give the world for these three.

Mika returns a moment later, travel-sized nail supplies in her arms and a totally unrelated topic on the mind. The sharp scent of the lacquer startles you out of your thoughts as you uncap the bottle and Mika splays her hands out, and Alban and Aia air their opinions on something entertainingly dumb.

Nina was right: this color is stunning on Mika. You paint Aia’s nails too, and halfway through her second hand, you hear the front door open, the end of an intelligible conversation, and telltale footsteps, each diverting across the house. The girls’ eyes flicker to you. You know they’re trying to read your expression, but you concentrate on how the brushstrokes pool together into one smooth coat. Your thoughts are a storm and you can’t even pick out the emotion commanding it.

So you keep joking along instead and focus on the nail polish, refusing to give the storm an opportunity to strike. Alban quips off of you, and the moment passes as Mika and Aia return to the conversation.

That is, until half an hour later when you hear a knock on the door. Mika cocks her head, a silent question, and when you nod she stands. Her nails dried when you finished Aia’s, and dot the doorknob as she cracks it open. A tiny margin of light from the hallway shines into your room, and you realize she positioned herself square in front of the threshold, shielding you from the person on the other side.

She talks evenly. “Hey, welcome back.”

“Thanks. Is Reader here?”

Your mind thunders as you register the voice. You can only see the leg of his jeans behind Mika, but you recognize Ike’s voice on the other side.

Aia shuffles by as a second shield. “Need them for something?”

“Kind of,” Ike says. “Do you mind if I talk to them?”

“I don’t know, what’s it about—“

“Aia, you can lay off him.” You call from your corner of the room. “You too, Mika.”

“Whatever you say. Just let me just grab my stuff…”

Mika grabs the nail supplies and deafens on Discord, but doesn’t even think to pick up the blankets along the ground. Instead, she glides to you and whispers under her breath. “We’re rooting for you. Send us a text if you need anything, okay?”

You nod. Aia slips past the threshold, but not without shooting you a thumbs up and mouthing ‘good luck.’ Not even a second later, your phone buzzes, and you catch Alban’s contact sending you an encouraging message in all-caps.

“See you later!” Aia chirps. “Play nice, you two.”

The scent of the lacquer follows them as they leave, and the sound of their footsteps fade in time.

Still in the doorway, Ike raises a hand to fidget with the chain along his glasses. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Oh! Come in. Sit anywhere, I don’t mind.”

You stay planted on the floor like how you were with your friends, and Ike sits next to you. You face the wall in front while he gets comfortable.

No words are exchanged as Ike maneuvers around the blankets, and eventually settles down with his back on the floor and head resting on a pillow, staring up at the ceiling. The light is off, but the blinds filter in thin beams of sunlight that cross over the room and the edge of his collar like a grid.

“Lay with me?” He asks. Then it strikes you like ringing metal; you sit next to each other in the same positions as that night on the roof.

Suddenly Ike raises his hands like static. “Not that you have to! I just figured it would be good to get comfortable and all, you know?” Ike hastily explains, then clears his throat. “I wanted to talk. About last night, I mean.”

Your chest flutters at the mention of it, but you remember all your friends’ encouragement. Here he is, the novelist of your (heartbroken) dreams, already bringing up the topic you dread to mention. You need to take this chance to face it head-on, now or never.

You glide down like the ceiling is full of stars. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

“A lot, honestly. I don’t know how to go about it, but first of all, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

You cross your arms. “You said that enough last night.”

“Not like that! I mean I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I think I made every wrong choice once you said that you… that.” He shovels a hand through his hair. “I’m making it weird again. I should apologize for that, too, it’s just kind of embarrassing saying out loud that you, um, you loved me. Not that you should be embarrassed. I mean, I get it if you are, but that took a lot of guts. You should be proud of that. I admire you for that.”

“Slow down. What are you even saying?”

“What I wish I said last night. More than anything else, I’m sorry I got caught off-guard. I must’ve been so standoffish, because my idiot brain just didn’t believe what I was hearing until it was too late and the damage was already done.” Hair the color of ash and ocean falls over his face. “Honestly, I can’t believe it now.”

“I get it. Bad idea from me. Can we move on from that yet?”

“I don’t think it was a bad idea at all. I just had no idea that you liked me.”

“Give me some time and I’ll get over it, eventually. I’m not going to let it get in the way of working with you, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.”

“No, that’s not it either! I—“

Ike’s eyes squeeze shut. His voice is so quiet, you can’t discern what he’s saying. “…Actually, I’m…”

“Repeat that?”

“I’m happy. Really happy,” Ike says. His pitch rises like a balloon floating up into space, struggling to stay composed. “I’m not good at saying it, but I meant it when I said… when I said it during the stream.”

You wave a hand in the air. “It was weird timing, and I know you mean it like a friend,” you reply. “I didn’t mean to pressure you into saying it, and just being friends is fine. Even though I’m a loser that messed up just about everything.”

The hand catches in midair. Doll-like fingers weave through your grasp, and turn your touch warm as Ike turns to look at you. “Not with me. Don’t say that about yourself, okay?”

You stare at how easily he held your hand, and how his fingers cradle your heart between the palms. The corners of Ike’s eyes are narrowed, two beads of peridot stone that can see through every little line of text between your pages, but there’s gentleness under his glasses. Something uncertain and fluffy. Softened like a lamb even though he leaves you defenseless.

You don’t know what to say. Ike is beautiful and kind and handsome and thoughtful when he’s earnest like this. He’s got you stupid in the head and wrapped around his pinky finger, and doesn’t have a single clue.

Peridot sparkles. “You’re so much more than that. You don’t mess things up, Reader. I’m in love with you.”

Your mouth goes dry and your tongue is still tied. Forget speechlessness; the man took your own damn thoughts away. Your hand remains frozen in air with Ike’s. If it weren’t for the light drag of one of his fingernails along your skin, then you would have figured he took your senses as well.

But the drag ends, and the fingers unlace themselves, and chilled air fills in the gaps Ike once held close. The tips of his fingers rest at the curve of your palm for just one second more before they drift away.

The glint in his eyes dulls. His hand falls to his chest, over his heart, just as slow as he parted. The uncertainty took over, and now it’s like staring at a cloud that doesn’t know if it should rain. Ike’s gaze lowers to his heart. There’s a stretch of silence and motionlessness as he stares at where your touch once was, and you’re paralyzed where you lay.

Ike's hand curls in on itself, too loose to make a fist, and his lashes sink over his eyes. His mouth is set into a flat line, but the cheeks are dusted in pinks and reds and peppered freckles in-between, demure and shy all the while.

He turns his face away soon after that. Another break of silence, and he shuffles again, with your vision on his back as if it were a hiding place.

It startles you out of your stupor. The gridded sunlight lets you analyze what you missed. After months of thinking your feelings would never be reciprocated, Ike thought of you just the same. He’s always been in your corner, and you would go to the ends of the earth for him, and everything is in its perfect position. But his back is still turned, and the memory of last night—your confession, and his inaction—it rushes to your head.

So you reach out instead.

Maybe it’s a little selfish. You’re tired of bumbling around and concealing your true feelings, and now that everything's out in the open, you aren’t about to let go without resolution.

But Ike is your best friend, and the man you fell in love with. There was no way you’d ever let go in the first place.

You wrap your arms around his back and hug Ike.

“I think I get why you were so taken aback last night,” you whisper. Even though you’re alone with Ike, you still say it like a secret. “I can barely believe it myself.”

Your warmth is inviting, and every second that passes is another defense downed. Your head perches right above his neck and along his shoulder. It’s not your first hug with Ike at all, but there’s only been so many since you first met him in person that it still feels special, and with your bodies flush to the floor, it’s intimate. His eyes are averted and one cheek lays down on the blankets, but the tips of his ears glow scarlet under his jewelry.

“I’m glad you were patient with me. I really didn’t think I had a chance with you. You know, the long distance and the company, and you know, the standard pining fare. I’m really lucky.” A smile slips through your words. “I’ll stay with you, okay? So take all the time you need.”

Ike chuckles. Even his laughter is blushy-bashful. “I’m just so happy you feel the same, too. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

His body curls as he lays, and your legs brush along his as you cuddle. Holding him makes it feel like he was made to fit in your arms. You sigh. “I love when you can’t contain it. It’s so cute.”

Ike squeaks at that, and unwittingly proves your point. “It feels so good to say that out loud. I mean, you’re okay with it, right?” A nod. “And you’re okay with… I don’t know. Are we still friends?”

“Of course we are, no matter what. You said you loved me first, so let me say this one?”

You have a feeling you know what’s coming next. You hug him even tighter.

“Reader, let’s go out. I don’t want this feeling to end,” he confesses, and your world turns into rose and blush. “Can we?”

Though you expected it, he still takes your breath away—until he taps you on the hand. “Come on, say something before my heart explodes!”

“Mine already did! I can’t even think straight, and—I’d love that. I really want this.”

Another squeal breaks out as Ike buries his head into a blanket, and your heart soars as he melts. He resembles a swaddled-up kitten, and the rays of sunlight line his silhouette. The fluffy blanket reminds you of an angel’s downy wings along his kitten features. You can’t even see his face between the blanket and his hair, but his squeal continues, muted through the blanket as he swoons.

Somehow that only makes you feel even more flustered. “No, don’t hide! I want to see you!”

Maybe it would’ve been better for your heart if he stayed put, because when Ike rises—with disheveled hair and glitter in his eyes the color of seaglass, and jewelry that frames his red face, and that galaxy of freckles you hold so dear and shine like stars between his blush—you feel your heart stop. Again.

“When did you start having this effect on me?” You ask, mesmerized, and before you know it you thumb over one of his rosy cheeks. “Your freckles are so beautiful.”

He sheepishly grins. “They don’t really show up online. They’re pale.”

“Never noticed them until I met you in person. I love them. I love you.”

The grin gets a little wider. One of his fingers grazes along the corner of your ear. Has his hand always been along your jawline?

Ike’s eyes are shining under the grid of sunlight. The lashes flit just a bit lower from your gaze. “Reader, can we…?”

You close your eyes.

And when Ike’s lips graze your own, you smile on instinct before you remember to kiss back.

Ike brings you near, searching for the taste of you as he continues. His touch lodges past your jawline and into your hair, and when one of the fingers grazes along your ear you’re reminded just how much you love Ike. All the yearning you hid for so long bleeds through as you sink down to his level with his head in your hand, gentle yet impassioned.

Then your face bumps against Ike’s glasses. The kiss breaks as you back away.

There’s a brief pause in the aftermath. Ike wordlessly adjusts his glasses, now knocked off-center. Despite finally getting on the same page on your relationship with Ike, you’re still as clumsy about your feelings as ever.

But the corners of your lips curve up as he inspects the lens you squished, then a barely-stifled giggle, and next thing you know, Ike’s laughing along with you, still underneath your body and with one hand in your hair while the other holds his glasses in place. He sounds as charming as he looks, and the fact that he joined you even when you chuckled out of the blue means that his mind is just as charming as well.

Not that it was breaking news. You know your best friend well, and now that you don’t need to deny your feelings any longer, you know you’ve got good taste if Ike’s under you with crinkled eyes and hearty laughter.

When you speak next, the giggles patter out between your words but the quiet delight hangs in your teeth. “Can we try that again?”

Then his lips are on yours again, and the laughter twists between the second kiss, and the third, and the fourth, all the way until you collapse on the blankets with arms around each other, staring up at the stars on the bland popcorn ceiling as adoration fills the space between you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

bonus.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Starting soon…

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The chat flickers alive as a four-pointed flower, a diamond, and a thorned heart give way to the stream and the novelist behind the stinger.

Kaidororero: welcome back ike!

Min (Ikey’s Book): 💙 IKEY IS BACK 💙

A normal broom: HI IKE

lunasmortas: 💙💙💙

viperip: ike! :_heart: :_heart: :_heart:

Sun shines through a clear day in Ike’s room onscreen, but in reality, blackout curtains block out the day outside. A sweet smile graces both Ike’s face and his model as the Quilldren welcome him home.

He greets them, and cracks open a can of soda as he quickly scans through the chat. Obviously, the off-collab is on everyone’s minds.

juuuuuuuuuus: did you have fun?

Kaidororero: offcollab POOOG

lunasmortas: SO CUTE :_heart: :heart:

Johnclone: Hope you had a good time!

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER REAL

Hm. A mod will eventually bonk that message. But then again, it’s inevitable that the ship would come up in chat.

Ike takes it in stride and ignores it like any other shipper, but his heart still skips a beat. Nonetheless, he doesn’t call any attention to it. “How about that off-collab, right? I met up with my friends! Where do I even begin?”

Ike recounts his trip from the beginning, and the Quilldren react to his stories with interest. He was one of the last to arrive, so Nina, Uki and Reader picked him up from the airport, and met up with Aia, Ren, and Mika at the Airbnb. Vox was the only one to arrive after him, hot off the heels of a flight delay, but the demon was a welcome party all his own despite his exhaustion.

“We went to karaoke once Vox got situated,” Ike explains. “Nina put that song in first so we could all let loose, and so she would have a fun voice tweet for everyone. Might as well confirm everyone that showed up, right?

“But after that, we didn’t want to stress ourselves out to perform for voice tweets instead of just having fun, so that was the only song we recorded. I wish you could’ve heard Uki and Vox’s duet, though. And while we were singing, turns out Ren packed a ukulele with him! Sometimes he would learn how to play along by ear, like a jam session. Mika knows how to play ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ too, so everyone joined in singing that while she played it. It was so much fun.”

Johnclone: Everyone sounded great!

sunblast99: uki’s voice >>>>>> everything else 💜💙

haabinae: :_tskr:

Festersk: WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT 🗣🗣

A normal broom: what did you sing?

Ike leans back in his chair. He blows a lock of hair out of his sight as he tries to think. “I remember Vox sang something by George Strait, so then we all egged him on to sing ‘Country Roads.’ He only did it once I promised to queue up ‘Toxicity’ by System of a Down afterwards.”

lunasmortas: OMG 💙💙💙

gatamiizuus: ayo?

Y A M: YESSSSSSS :_tskr: :_tskr:

haabinae: I LOVE SOAD :_fanboy:

Thornmy: SO COOL 💙

“Thank you.” He says it out of obligation. If he thinks too hard about the compliments, he’ll get embarrassed. “What else was there? I think there was some Motionless in White, and Spiritbox. Oh, and My First Story. Can’t forget My First Story.”

K. K. Soda: ooooo

Alban Knox 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : what about mcr

asper ch.: METAL SCREAM?

deeboorgur: HI ALBAN

Y A M: MCR YEAAAAA :_glowstick_1: :_glowstick_2:

“I’m getting there, Alban!”

Ike takes a sip while the Quilldren greet Alban. He’s not too surprised Alban seems to know more than the other viewers. He’s close with almost everyone that went on the trip, and was super active on Discord during the off-collab. The novelist lowers his soda as the chat floods in orange hearts. He wonders how Alban learned so much as an observer. He should ask.

But that’s a question for after stream. Ike continues. “Thank Nina for that. She queued up ‘I’m Not Okay’ by My Chemical Romance, and then shoved two mics in my hands and Reader’s.”

And the chat explodes.

Kaidororero: OMGGGGGG 💙💕

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER SO CUTE :_tskr:

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER DUET

asper ch.: AYOOOO MCR

gatamiizuus: I LOVE READER

ystariya: PEN AND PAPER MY BELOVED

“It’s a really fun song! It’s almost all clean vocals, but there’s this scream in the middle. Up until then, we sang together, but then I screamed, and Reader picked up the slack and sang the parts of the verse I couldn’t. They’re amazing.”

gatamiizuus: READER SIMPS COME GET Y’ALL’S JUICE

Thornmy: THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD

lunasmortas: 💙💕💙💕

ystariya: READER KARAOKE STREAM WHEN

Kaidororero: AWWWWWWW

The model on the screen doesn’t have the same glint in Ike’s eye when he talks about you. That first day of the trip was all about getting comfortable after long travel hours, and the stories went on as the days went by. Sightseeing with Aia and shopping with Uki by day, and spending the night shooting the shit with Ren until it turns into the littlest hours of the morning.

“Vox wanted to try a bunch of different restaurants with me, but you know me, ya boi is not good with most foods. So Nina usually came along in case I couldn’t finish something. She and Vox would share my leftovers.”

Something fond crosses over Ike’s face. His eyes cloud over in fog descending over a clear-sky day. “We would always talk over food about anything. I appreciate it a lot. They really get me.” The fog stills. “And over breakfast one morning, they gave me some excellent advice over something I’ve been meaning to do.”

ver*batim: ❤️💙❤️

K. K. Soda: MILORDDDDD

nroneo: :_heart:

A normal broom: upcoming project? 👀

Johnclone: I love Nina Kosaka!

“Not a project, no. It was something I was really worried about, even when I was supposed to be taking a break with my friends,” he says. “But those two seriously helped me clear my head about it. Mika, too. Vox and Nina had a lot of nuanced advice, but Mika told it to me straight, and helped handle what I couldn’t. I’m really thankful to have them.”

His set jaw loosens. “Maybe I’ll talk about it one day.”

The model cocks to the side. Motion blurs the foggy sobriety away. With a lightness to his voice and a knowing gaze, Ike looks straight into the camera and smiles, sentimentality forgotten. The air clears. “But for now, it’s a secret~!

“Ah, now where was I? Spending time with my friends, right? Reader and I hung out often. Sometimes with others, but it ended up being the two of us more than not.”

Birds chirp outside Ike’s window in time with the hum of his PC. The backlit keyboard in front of the monitors glows the same color as the computer, a healthy blue light that tints the tips of his fingers. He usually sets it to a rainbow spectrum in his own time, but static blue is reserved for going live. It gets him in the right mindset for streaming, and makes his little apartment feel fantastical like the noble background that accompanies his model, even if it only reaches his fingertips.

He’s sure the Ike on the screen has fingertips tinged with blue just like him, an extension of the man outside the screen but without the grittier details. Smooth, pristine hands under gloves where his are callused from guitar playing. Nothing under the model’s eyes but lashes and a line of red that brings out the pink in his eyes, very much unlike the heavy bags and sunken face from an awful delay on his flight back home. No freckles, either, but even cameras rarely pick them up on video call. Nina cooed over them the first time they met, as motherly as ever, but behind closed doors Reader was utterly fascinated with them. They mentioned something about watching blush travel around his face with the smattering of freckles in-between once or twice… maybe more? Doesn’t matter when he’s never heard that before and it repeats in his head when he catches himself daydreaming. It’s one of the best things he’s ever heard.

Vtuber Model Ike’s face doesn’t heat up like how Real Ike’s certainly is now. He clears his throat. “The weather was really nice during the entire trip, so we would always get into good conversations while walking back to where we were staying. And sometimes we didn’t want to end the conversation, so we’d just keep walking past our Airbnb until our feet hurt or it got dark, whichever came first.

“Oh, here’s something funny. Uki really loves cafes, right? Usually he woke up early with Ren to go check out some cafes in the morning, way before the rest of us would even think of waking up. By the time everyone else woke up, they already finished their breakfast, and Uki would tell Reader about the ones to visit or skip. Whenever Uki recommended one, Reader always wanted to go themselves, so I went along to keep them company.”

Even as his skin returns to its original shade, the sweetness sticks to his throat like the soda he’s barely touched at all. He’s wistful. He didn’t expect to miss Reader this much; after all, his relationship with them has bloomed so much ever since you first started working together, but two weeks together (including mutual close friends) changes things. It’s only been two days since he returned home, but he feels out of rhythm with them.

He’s gotten too accustomed to them. Over the last few months, he thought he did a good job putting aside his feelings for Reader, even when Nina would tease him after every Pen and Paper collab and Vox and Mika would be right behind her, hyping him up to make a move. The fear of rejection was what motivated him to keep his close friendship with Reader without ever confessing to them.

“Reader…”

The world around him is nothing. Paused to buffer as he thinks. He can’t remember the last time he felt so happy. Just being in the same room as them makes him feel stupid, and surely he’s been acting like it. Everything he says sounds clumsy when he’s with them. After all, on that day when he owned up to the feelings he repressed for so long that he couldn’t properly react to Reader’s confession, he couldn’t say much more than how happy he was. Words fail to describe what Reader means to him, yet he’s a novelist, for crying out loud! How ironic!

“...Reader is so patient with me,” Ike says. “And they’re so considerate and dedicated. I wish I told them that earlier. It’s hard to say things out loud like this, but you only meet people like Reader once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and even then, there’s no one quite like Reader.”

ystariya: i love reader

Kaidororero: pen and paper awwww

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER

acklmystafoot: ike is so sweet!!!

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 💙

“Aaah!”

Ike recoils like his keyboard is flaming lava. The model on the screen leans back and freezes in place while he nearly throws himself out of his chair. “R-Reader! What are you doing here?!”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : FKJLJJSLKFJDKS LMAOOOOOOOO

Johnclone: Hello Reader!

Y A M: OMG

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : just wanted to say hi

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : hi!

Festersk: LMAO

Ike sputters out nothing but empty air and nervous laughter. “Haha. Um. Hi! Welcome!”

Stupid! He wants to kick himself. He’s made improvement on verbalizing affection, and he’s comfortable with Reader, especially now that there aren’t any secrets left, but he’s still so unfamiliar with affection being returned that his heart is still doing kickflips in his chest.

haabinae: :_blush: :_blush: :_blush:

juuuuuuuuuus: most normal pen and paper moment

Thornmy: AWWW

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : check discord

A normal broom: Oh?

“Ah, okay! Give me a second.” Ike keeps his Discord on mute, and usually disables desktop notifications when he’s live, so he’s not surprised to open the window to unread messages and some non-urgent pings. Sure enough, Reader sent him something.

Reader: because you were talking about cafes

Reader: image.png (3) | 💙 1 |

Me: Oh I recognize these from our first date!

It’s been over a week now, but just saying he went on a date with Reader has him squeezing his legs together so his feet wouldn’t start kicking in the air.

Reader: ahh you remembered!

Me: I should’ve figured you took more pictures than the ones you showed me

Reader: dw i have more i wanted to show you

Reader: image.png (8) | 💙 1 |

Me: Seriously how are you so good at photography I don’t get it-

Me: You’re really pretty in this one!

Me: UGHHHH WHY DO I LOOK SO WEIRD | ❌ 1 | 💕 1 |

Me: I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE YOU TAKE THIS ONE

Reader: WTH YOU’RE NOT WEIRD

Reader: YOU’RE LITERALLY SO HANDSOME WHY DO YOU T H I N K I TOOK THAT PIC

Well, great, now he’s actually kicking in his seat. Ike is inclined to disagree, but when Reader says it, it’s a super-effective attack on his poor little novelist heart.

Me: Akaslwdnja

Me: Thank you 😭

Reader: anyways i gotta go i stream in 20 min and i’ve barely eaten my food

Me: Go eat! Do you have enough water?

Reader: just refilled my bottle

Me: Good then don’t let me keep you! Have a good stream!

And before he can overthink it, in the moment—

Me: I love you!

His sights are set on his second monitor.

Reader is typing…

Reader doesn’t have to respond. Sometimes just saying it is enough.

Reader: fdsjdfkl.

Ike’s been trying to relearn that lesson ever since he realized everything he repressed was reciprocated.

Reader: i love you too, ike

Words heard across the world, one of the people he holds most dear.

His heart beats loud in his ears, but he can feel it slow, somehow. Reader is exhilarating, but there’s security in them, too. The nerves kick in until he remembers they’re just as exposed as the other, and the vulnerability generate a sense of comfort. Reader makes him feel understood like no one else in the world does, and he trusts them more than anything.

He does. He does, he does, he does, even if he only has the strength to say it one at a time. Ike is in love.

Reader: i’ll let you know when i’m done streaming, we can watch a movie together after

Me: It’s a date! | 💕 1 |

It takes him a moment to tear his gaze away from your messages.

His streaming monitor reflects his movements. The chat moves along. Blue light spreads through his fingertips, just like how he imagines Vtuber Model Ike’s hands resting on his own keyboard, an extension of the man outside the screen, proof of the fantastical.

“They sent me something.” Ike’s laughter is gentle. “I really do love them.”

The chat zooms past, as expected. Surely that would get clipped alongside the off-collab Q&A, but he can’t seem to care. He doubts the fandom would really understand how deep the connection goes, and if they do? Some things are just meant to be private.

Besides, on the day Ike and Reader get comfortable enough in their relationship to go public, he knows the Quilldren have his back, just like Reader and their Bookworms.

“Reader, if you’re still there, we need to meet up again,” Ike says. “I don’t know when, but one day.”

A flurry of messages, but only one truly matters.

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : i wouldn’t miss it for the world

The model onscreen grins. It pales in comparison to Ike himself.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊commentary ↣

✧. ┊ ⁭masterpost ✧. ┊ ⁭kofi

#ike eveland x reader #ike eveland #ike eveland fluff #ike eveland angst #luxiem #luxiem x reader #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji #4402 writes #🖋 anon #fanfic is unrealistic and i know this because clippers would NEVER use semicolons in their captions #eating string cheese wrong is symbolic. it represents eavesdropping and shitty lies that go unnoticed #i hope i never see a typo in this thing this fic is literally impossible to edit on mobile #update: there were typos. and i had to wait 3 minutes for the editor to load on my laptop before i could fix them. rip #pliskinverse

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antianakin · 1 year

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Antianakin's Pro-Jedi Codywan Fic Rec List

The theme of this particular rec list is Codywan fics that specifically are Pro-Jedi ONLY. For the purposes of this rec list, Pro-Jedi means there will be no Jedi getting married or undergoing cultural reforms of any kind, there's no acting like Jedi are totally repressed people who need to be saved from themselves and forced into relationships for their own mental well-being, no Jedi converting to another culture, no Jedi struggling in a relationship because it's "against the Code" etc. You get the idea. Which means I am not including Codywan fics that I do not personally feel are 100% Pro-Jedi even if I like them, and I'm also not including fics that do not feature/center Codywan even if they are pro-Jedi.

Here are the categories:

General Canon: Fics that are either canon compliant or canon divergent.

Non-Jedi AUs: Any AU where Jedi just simply don't exist, so the rules are different in terms of what I'm willing to accept. I realize this is cheating the theme a little, but I tried to keep it to fics where Jedi characters are still treated kindly/fairly within the context of the AU. Also a lot of these fics are just too good not to rec, even if they're a tad off theme.

Smut: Fics that only really have sex as the "plot" and very little else, but not necessarily straight-up porn. This category will include both canon compliant/divergent fics and Non-Jedi AUs.

Helpful terms:

Unfinished: Any fic that is marked as incomplete, or a series marked as incomplete and the fic(s) cannot stand on their own

Ongoing: Any series marked as incomplete, but the fics in it are marked as complete and/or can stand alone as they are

There is absolutely no specific order to this. I tried to group fics from one specific author together, but other than that, I didn't place anything in any specific position for a reason.

Please keep an eye on all ratings and tags for these fics! Some of them are pure fluff, but some of them deal with some VERY heavy topics and themes.

This is NOT an exhaustive list of my favorite Codywan fics, or by ANY means an exhaustive list of good Codywan fics that exist, or of Codywan fics that are Pro-Jedi. If your fic or your favorite fic isn't on this list, please feel free to rec it yourself in the notes, leave a reply or reblog with a link, I'm always happy to read more Codywan fic!

With the house-cleaning out of the way, find the fic recs below!

General Canon:

Pave Your Way With Stones Well Chosen by TrickyTricky (19k): Cody is freed from his chip post Order 66 and works to bring down the Empire and find Obi-Wan and other surviving Jedi/clones. This is the first Codywan fic in my AO3 bookmarks, and therefore probably one of the first I ever read, and it remains incredible. The way Cody reacts to the reveal of the chip is heavy and dark, but it feels very realistic and I love the way it's ultimately handled as well as the development of his relationship to Obi-Wan post Order 66.

Literally ANYTHING by @glimmerglanger but here's a few lot of specific recommendations (EDIT: this AO3 account was deleted several months after I made this list and so all of the links below are now broken. I am leaving this section in regardless, as a record of the incredible work glimmerglanger did and as a reminder of the consequences of online harassment):

Make Your Bed (Lie in It) (58k): Cody and Obi-Wan share a bunk during the war and this changes some things.

But What We Make Series (unfinished, 125.5k, not Anakin friendly): Cody from post-Return of the Jedi travels back in time to just before Order 66 and this changes some things.

Haunt Me, Then (31k, not Anakin friendly): Post Order 66, all the surviving clones can see their Jedi as Force ghosts except Cody and the 212th, and when Cody's chip breaks early he helps start a revolution to gain justice for their Jedi.

sanguine series (157.5k, not Anakin friendly): Obi-Wan is a vampire in an AU where vampires exist in the GFFA and this changes some things.

Deservedly (3k): Cody deals with an admirer in a happy fix-it post Order 66 world.

Worth a Thousand Words (14.5k): Cody sends Obi-Wan a dick pic and Obi-Wan proceeds to make sure the clones get some sex ed in response. Crack taken seriously, mostly.

Once Upon a Dream (31k): Obi-Wan is an ancient Jedi stuck in a cursed sleep who Cody finds during the clone war and is able to see and speak to only in his dreams.

Convergence Zones (115.5k, not Anakin friendly): In a modern day fantasy Jedi AU version of the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan still manages to accidentally stumble upon the clone army and brings the clones and Jedi together to fight back the darkness.

Wrong Side of the Night (6k): Cody and Obi-Wan get into an argument that goes south in a no Order 66 AU and handle it like adults in the aftermath.

(hit me) with your heart (20k): Cody and Obi-Wan enter into a BDSM relationship during the war and this changes some things.

A Treatise on Breaking and Repairs (60k, not Anakin friendly): Anakin captures Obi-Wan shortly after Revenge of the Sith and it goes very badly for Obi-Wan.

There's so many more I didn't include because this one section alone is already long, but I swear please check out the rest of glimmerglanger's fics if you're looking for pro-Jedi Codywan, they're insanely good.

The Crime of Grief Series by @feybarn (ongoing, 34k, not Anakin friendly): Padme goes into labor early while on the way to Mustafar, so neither she nor Obi-Wan ever make it there, and they go on the run with Rex and Ahsoka afterwards instead. Sides are drawn in the aftermath of Anakin's choices that causes friction among them before they can find healing. I go back to this series so often for some good Obi-Wan catharsis.

Slices of Happiness series by @feybarn (unfinished, 40k, not Anakin friendly): A no Order 66 AU where Obi-Wan takes a short sabbatical after the war to handle his mental health and is joined by some of the clones before he returns to the Temple. It is, as the title of the series says, mostly just little slices of stories as the clones and Jedi heal and reconnect after the war. This isn't ALWAYS fluffy, but it's pretty damn close, and I love getting to see Obi-Wan heal and grow in peacetime, and his relationship with Mace and the other Council members is astounding.

The Sun Swings East by @feybarn (33k): Obi-Wan is thrown into a time loop by Palpatine where he keeps coming back to the beginning of Revenge of the Sith. Eventually, the Force steps in and gives him some help in the form of Rex, Cody, and Boil. This one is pretty dark and heavy for a while before it gets better. I love watching Cody and Rex forced to make some really difficult choices as they try to help Obi-Wan without Obi-Wan realizing they're doing so. I also really appreciate the entire long final chapter going through the aftermath of everything that went down.

|to failure, sweet victor| by @cillyscribbles (20k): Cody shows up on Tatooine and Obi-Wan can't QUITE break the chip immediately, but it's halfway broken, so Cody and Obi-Wan just have to wait out the chip breaking itself down enough for Obi-Wan to finish the job and hoping Cody doesn't manage to accidentally kill Obi-Wan before that happens. It's delightfully angsty as the two of them go through this and really highlights the tenacity both of them have as well as their devotion to each other.

|intricate rituals| by @cillyscribbles (9k): After some time on Hoth early during the war, Cody's hands get worn down from the cold. When Obi-Wan notices despite Cody trying to hide it, he receives some unexpected help for the problem and creates a new connection with his Jedi General. Cody's slow realization that perhaps he CAN trust Obi-Wan and the beginnings of him opening up and connecting to Obi-Wan bring me back to this fic over and over again.

|won't you fly away with me| series by @cillyscribbles (ongoing, 40k): Stewjoni have wings AU. Very sweet and fluffy, generally, and we don't have quite enough wingfic in this fandom so this is a rare gem.

|no war to reach you, no bolt to keep you| by @cillyscribbles (6k): Cute fluffy no Order 66 AU where Cody comes over for a visit with Obi-Wan at the Temple. This one's very aroace Codywan friendly, which is why it ALSO is one of my favorites, and quite possibly the closest to how I tend to view them in my head.

|snow on red sands| duology by @cillyscribbles (60k): Boil's chip stops working and he teams up with two other stormtroopers to help the three of them plus a still chipped Cody escape the Empire and get a little help from a suspiciously familiar Rebel along the way. This is probably like 98% pro-Jedi, but there's a little bit of grandstanding on one character's part about Galidraan and a teensy tiny bit of negative commentary on Obi-Wan's choices in the Deception arc. Other than that, very pro-Jedi, especially from the point of view of the clones.

the boat that would row you back by @adiduck (12k): Orpheus and Eurydice INSPIRED AU, post A New Hope. Anakin deactivates Cody's chip after Obi-Wan's death in A New Hope because he believes Cody might be able to somehow bring Obi-Wan back to life. Cody must go through a series of trials in order to reach Obi-Wan. This is obviously predominantly Cody centric as he goes into some sort-of Force afterlife to look for Obi-Wan, but I really really love all the ways Greek myth is woven into the story while still remaining pretty obviously Star Wars-y.

an ice cream covered screaming hyperactive thought by @adiduck (10k): Cody is adopted by a feral tooka kitten in a no Order 66 AU and needs to call Obi-Wan for help. This is pure fluff (literally) and it's so cute.

Reconstruction Corps AU by @cacodaemonia (ongoing, 268.3k): I'm recc'ing the entire series here, even though a LARGE amount of it is not Codywan specific. There's a few other ships within the series, but it focuses fairly heavily on Waxer/Boil. There is some insanely incredible writing for the clones in this, but the Jedi are written very positively as well. I'd also 1000% recommend making sure to go through the series to find the ridiculously beautiful artwork that cacodaemonia does. Cannot recommend caco's work enough, honestly. I will however specifically rec the two fics where Codywan has a bigger presence:

That's not how it happened, this is how it happened (11k): Cody and Obi-Wan find Fives during the Conspiracy Arc instead of Rex and Anakin.

Orbital Decay (5k): No Order 66 AU focusing on Cody and Obi-Wan getting together after things start to settle down a bit.

Golden Shield of Brightness by NerJetii (15k): Soulmate AU where names show up on wrists. Obi-Wan deals with the emotional tribulations his soulmates bring along with all the other emotional tribulations in his life. I don't know what else to say about this one without going wildly detailed into it and giving away everything about it, but I keep going back to it for a dose of seratonin.

When We Were Young by @tired-tatum (34k): No Order 66 AU where Cody's stayed on as the head of the GAR and he and Obi-Wan lose touch with each other for a few years until they're thrown back together on a joint mission and old sparks start flying again. I really liked the characterizations for both Cody and Obi-Wan in this and the actual mission is quite fun to read about, as well. This is one of the few fics I've read where Cody and Obi-Wan DON'T get together either during the war or immediately after it and need to take some time to figure themselves out first, so it's really cool for that alone.

The Vode by @reydjarinkenobi (unfinished, 50k): Arranged marriage AU where Jango helps the clones free themselves and create their own government before the war breaks out, and in order to ensure their legitimacy and safety as a new government, they invoke an old Republic tradition involving an arranged marriage to a Jedi. Obi-Wan is chosen to marry Cody, the new King of the clone government. I really liked the way the relationships developed, especially between Obi-Wan and Cody, and the characterizations all around. It handles what is a morally sticky situation in a way that feels very respectful to both parties.

i've lost the will to carry on (please shine a light to guide me home) by Countryheart (8k): This is an AU where there are no chips, but Order 66 happens anyway. The war ends on the side of the Republic and the clones are freed and go off to explore and inhabit other planets, but while they're gone Palpatine enacts Order 66 by calling upon the citizens of Coruscant to destroy the Jedi. Nobody survives this time, and the clones take it upon themselves to enact justice for their fallen friends. This focuses on a number of different Jedi and clone relationships, not just Cody and Obi-Wan, and while it is VERY Jedi-friendly, it is also very Jedi-sad. This is the fic I read when I want that sweet sweet catharsis.

in our hearts some ancient song by @keensers (40k): Cody and Obi-Wan accidentally find Fives before he can even get to 79's during the Conspiracy arc, which saves Fives' life, the lives of every clone and Jedi, and the fate of the entire galaxy. I love the lore that got added to Jedi history as the parallel for Obi-Wan and Cody's relationship, as well as the way they showcase multiple different relationships important to Obi-Wan that all ultimately come together to help save the galaxy. This is a team effort, and it shows. Cody also gets to be particularly BAMF in this which is always fun.

Beach Party by otherhawk (3k): The 501st and 212th manage to get a few days off and throw a beach party and relax. Short sweet serotonin boost with some really cute scenes between Obi-Wan and his men.

And I Fear Nothing by @maiseey (unfinished, 43k): Ahsoka and Rex rescue Cody post Order 66 and drop him off with Obi-Wan on Tatooine where he's decided to raise both Luke and Leia himself. A few years later, Rex and Ahsoka bring home a few new members of the family and the dynamic in the home begins to change and grow. I really love how we see that the characters' views of themselves are biased sometimes and unreliable, but because we get to switch between different POVs, we get to see the characters through someone else's eyes and see whether their self evaluations truly match up to what they think of themselves. They're all struggling, but they're all also trying so hard to keep moving forward as best they can and support each other. This was also, I believe, one of the first fics I ever read that included the niche character Glitch and while I don't know him very well still, I love him, and the part he plays in this fic is wonderful.

A Different Perspective by Be Creative (5k): Dex's perspective on Obi-Wan, Cody, Codywan, and the clones in general, leading into a happy fix-it no Order 66 AU. I appreciate getting to see a kind outsider perspective on Jedi, clones, and Jedi/clone relationships. Obi-Wan also gets to have relationships with multiple other clones beyond just Cody which I always love getting to see.

Layers by BadWolf36 (1k): Cody watches Obi-Wan put clothes back ON after they have sex and enjoys that almost as much if not equally as much as watching him take them off. I just really like the concept that Cody appreciates the privilege of getting to see Obi-Wan get ready, the implicit implication of how much deeper the relationship goes than sex, and the way sex is shown as not necessarily the most important or most intimate way two people can connect with each other.

they're neutral by @deniigi (10k): AU where the Jedi are basically kicked out of the Republic long before the clone war happens and no one even thinks they exist anymore and those that are found out seem to be persecuted to some degree, so the clones and Jedi have never met each other and have no knowledge of each other. It's set in a post-war time period where Cody has moved into a GFFA suburb and decides to clean it up. In doing so, he accidentally creates a little shrine for the Jedi. It's apparently based on a true story, which is really cool! Cody is in exemplary form here as he fights against The Man and deals with the sudden appearance of the Jedi creating a small haven for themselves in his suburb.

Greater Than Your Hoarded Gold series by Quietbang (96k): Anakin doesn't burn on Mustafar AU where there is a different kind of rebellion in the galaxy post Order 66. This author focused in on and centered the Jewish elements to the Jedi, which is so interesting to read. The shifting perspectives, including totally outside perspectives, on the Jedi and the situation in the galaxy at large, makes for a really cool story with some incredible worldbuilding.

Put Color in Your Cheeks by @dharmaavocado (51k): Cody and Obi-Wan end up with a mental bond and have to deal with the consequences to their friendship now that they're connected more deeply than ever before. This is a fic that was written for a Codywan Bang, I believe, but the ships are TECHNICALLY Rex/Obi-Wan and Cody/Quinlan. The focus, however, IS on Cody and Obi-Wan's relationship and since it was allowed in the Bang, I'm allowing it here because, much like the mods of that Bang, I think it's exceptional and everyone should read it. Cody and Obi-Wan's relationship feels a little different than it normally ends up in the usual Codywan fics, but I LOVE the ways this fic really highlights how profound and important friendships can be, as well. If you're into Rex/Obi-Wan, I will recommend all of dharmaavocado's fics here because they're ridiculously good.

under the wide and starry sky series by @wrennette (44k): Cody is able to resist the chip just enough that he can get a warning out to the other clones, and stops Order 66 from ever happening. I really like the way the Jedi come together on this one and handle the situation that's blown up in front of them. Cody and Obi-Wan's relationship is immensely sweet and tender to behold, but there's a few more niche ships included that are really sweet, as well. Also please check out wrennette's other works, they're all really good!

Lessons of Peace by @virdant-writing (1k): Cody and some other clones learn to make dumplings with Obi-Wan and the Jedi younglings. This is pure fluff in written form, I love just about any fic that allows the clones and Jedi younglings to interact with each other. Virdant's fics focus in on the Asian influences in the Jedi, and I can honestly recommend reading them all.

5 Times the 212th Gave Quinlan a Ride + 1 Time He Gave One to Cody by antonomasia09 (4k): Like most 5+1 fics, the title sort-of tells you everything you need to know here! Quinlan is a character I love but often am wary of reading in fics sometimes because of how often he's used for anti-Jedi sentiments or is just sort-of disrespected in terms of his identity as a Jedi, so it's always a pleasant surprise to find fics featuring him (either gen or in a ship) that don't have that element at all and this is one of them! Plus, Cody/Quinlan/Obi-Wan is such a delightful ship and deserves more love.

when you start anew by @coruscantguard (3k): Cody, Obi-Wan, and Quinlan take a little vacation in a No Order 66 AU and begin a healing process. This fic focuses predominantly on Cody and Cody's feelings in a happier post-war scenario, with more of a side serving of how Obi-Wan and Quinlan might fit into that. I like getting to focus in on Cody's trauma and healing and the way he begins to work through everything that's happened to him.

the time when stars align by qigiined (7k, not Anakin friendly): Cody accidentally adopts some young stormtroopers post Order 66 and escapes with them to the Rebellion after Vader finds a way to "cure" him of his accelerated aging. Cody goes through so much horror in this fic and is still so SO funny with the way he looks at the world and speaks to his loved ones, allowing this fic to still feel sweet and wholesome despite how awful Cody's life can be.

Non-Jedi AUs:

EDIT: As above, all fics by glimmerglanger have been deleted and so all links are broken, but I will continue to leave them on this list as a record of them.

Natural Wonders by @glimmerglanger (56k, not Anakin friendly): Shapeshifter modern AU with nature photographer Cody and park ranger Obi-Wan and a murder mystery they solve together. There's a lot of really great information on Yellowstone National Park in this one, and the mystery is built wonderfully around the really sweet relationship Cody and Obi-Wan build together.

Home (On the Range) by @glimmerglanger (60k): Cowboy AU where Obi-Wan has to take on Qui-Gon's new puppy after he dies and seeks out help from a handsome farmer who teaches puppy behavior classes on the side. This isn't precisely pure fluff, since both Cody and Obi-Wan are going through it a little, but it's not far off. Obi-Wan as a natural horse girl is my kind of Obi-Wan. Cody's relationships to his family are also really interestingly built out as the story delves more into his past.

By the Sea duology by @glimmerglanger (153k): 1940s mermaid AU where Obi-Wan is a veteran of WWII and Cody is an injured stranded merman who washes up outside Obi-Wan's cabin. This one's got some pretty insanely detailed worldbuilding to go along with the achingly beautiful slow burn romance. The first fic is so insulated to Obi-Wan's little cabin and the small area around it as it focuses in on the relationship between Obi-Wan and Cody, and then it just balloons out in the second fic as it explores more of the world beyond the bubble they built for themselves. These two have to fight so hard for their happy ending and get through a lot of obstacles that make the ending so victoriously satisfying.

The Games the Gods Play by @feybarn (7k): Dionysus and Ariadne AU with Cody as Dionysus and Obi-Wan as Ariadne. What can I say, I like my Greek mythology AUs! I'm less familiar with this particular myth, so I'm not sure how closely it sticks to the original story, but Cody's devotion is always a delight to read.

Slow Waters by @brigitttt (47k): Pacific Rim AU. I don't know what more I need to say about this one, it's very very good if you like the overall concept of Pacific Rim, and the sequel really enhances everything I loved about the first fic (unlike the sequel to Pacific Rim the movie which... did not).

From the Garden, Grow by @galateagalvanized (51k): Fantasy AU where Obi-Wan is a mage and Cody is a Knight/bounty hunter whose job is to rescue damsels in distress generally. Cody gets caught up in a world-changing quest with Obi-Wan after mistaking him for a damsel in distress. This one is particularly interesting because it keeps some of the elements of the world being turned against the Jedi through lies and the ways that impacts Cody and Obi-Wan's burgeoning relationship in a way most AUs don't address.

Lessons to be Learned by Assassin of Rome (2k): Shop class teacher Cody is going through a parent/teacher night and meets Obi-Wan, the older brother and guardian of one of his students, Anakin. Obi-Wan's relationship with Anakin is, funnily enough, something of the star in this one. Obi-Wan is SUCH a good guardian to his little brother and so ready to defend him and seeing him meet someone who is able to connect with Anakin in a way no one else has makes me feel Obi-Wan's relief almost like it was my own.

bury me beneath the tree i climbed when i was a child by @stormwarnings (33k): Modern AU where Cody is a firefighter and Obi-Wan and his family navigate life just before and after Anakin is released from prison. The development of the relationships across the board is what makes this one special in particular. Not just Cody and Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan's relationships with his broken family, the friendships he has with other "Jedi" characters, and the new friendships he builds with Cody's family. The ways they have to work through the traumas left behind by Anakin's choices and how they move forward from that feel really grounded.

Equinox by @wanderingjedihistorian (4k, not Anakin friendly): Hades/Persephone AU with Cody as Hades and Obi-Wan as Persephone. I like me a good Hades/Persephone AU where Obi-Wan and Cody just want to be able to see each other more often and work so hard to make it happen. The Drama in this is excellent, as befits a Greek Mythology AU.

Peace in the Realm by Rosawyn (85k): Fantasy AU where Cody is a Crown Prince and Obi-Wan a mage and nobleman living at the castle. When Anakin makes a really bad political decision by marrying the Queen of a neighboring Kingdom, Cody and Obi-Wan have to deal with the political aftermath to keep things from descending into war. The Cody and Obi-Wan relationship is the star here, I ADORE the way this relationship works and develops through the story, and the ways Obi-Wan still feels like a Jedi and lives by familiar Jedi philosophies despite this being such a different AU.

Darling I Tried to Tell You by johanneb (5k): Modern AU where Cody got set up on a blind date with Obi-Wan that went badly, but he keeps texting Obi-Wan about all of his subsequent terrible blind dates with other people and ends up accidentally falling in love with Obi-Wan along the way. Super fluffy oblivious Cody, this one's hilariously sweet. Obi-Wan is endlessly patient in this and very forgiving of Cody's obliviousness as he slowly figures himself out.

mid-autumn, post script by @cafffine (16k): Modern cowboy AU where Cody is a mule packer and Obi-Wan is the local postman. This is an epistolary narrative told (mostly) via letters Cody sends to Rex. Cody goes on a JOURNEY in this fic and I love the ways this relationship is written and the characterization given to both of them. Cody's Drama goes up against Obi-Wan's Obstinance and sparks fly. I love that Cody actually doesn't even like Obi-Wan initially before he decides to change his mind.

Silver Lining by Wixiany (8k): Modern AU where Obi-Wan crashes into Cody on a skiing trip and they fall in love. It's just as fluffy as it sounds, and the speed at which Cody and Obi-Wan decide they like each other is stupidly cute.

Six Months in a Leaky Boat by @ossidae-passeridae (47k): Mad Max AU/period piece set in 1998 Australia where Cody and Obi-Wan are part of a radio broadcasting group fighting against the government to get vital information out to the public in an apocalyptic era. This person clearly loves this world and put so much thought and effort into worldbuilding and made it an interactive experience as much as they could. Absolutely worth a read even if you don't know anything about Mad Max or Australia in 1998 (like me!).

Thirty-One Sons, Thirteen Moons by sual (33k): Witch AU where Jango got cursed to just keep having sons (as in sons just literally show up at his door in a basket that are somehow biologically his) and it's getting out of hand, so he makes a deal with a witch to break the curse, but Obi-Wan requires a sexy ingredient in order to do it. Cue Cody. The way the sexy part is handled and the slightly sticky morality of it was quite interesting and well-handled. I love how all the magic and the worldbuilding surrounding it are woven into the storyline.

It's Raining, Dear by @cafffine (10k): Modern AU following the first 8 years of Cody and Obi-Wan's marriage through some ups and downs. Very slice of life style story with a lot of really sweet little storylines that flow in and out through the main "plot" of the fic. Cody and Obi-Wan are very devoted to each other, but still feel like a realistic couple that occasionally get frustrated or annoyed with each other or get into fights over important things even if they always make sure to come back together afterwards and handle it like adults. It's not quite fluffy, but it's really feel-good.

Smut:

EDIT: All fics by glimmerglanger have been deleted, so the links won't work, but they will remain on this list anyway.

Best Laid Plans by @glimmerglanger (10k): No Order 66 AU where Cody and Obi-Wan try out a kink that doesn't go well and deal with the aftermath. There's not a lot of fic out there that I've read that deals with someone trying out a new kink and really not liking it, so I found that a really fresh and interesting concept.

Feeling Good by @glimmerglanger (2k): Canon compliant where Obi-Wan gives Cody a massage and a happy ending. Cody getting a massage and a happy ending seems to be a slight theme in the Codywan fandom and I adore it to pieces. Cody deserves all the pleasure he can get.

To the Letter by @glimmerglanger (11k): Canon compliant fuck AND die where Obi-Wan gets dosed with something that means he'll die if he orgasms and makes him basically perpetually aroused, so Cody has to figure out how to keep him from having an orgasm. This is such a cool inversion of the very popular fuck or die trope.

Be Your Love by @glimmerglanger (9k): Modern AU where Cody and Obi-Wan meet at a BDSM club. This one's got an age gap between Obi-Wan and Cody that's focused on as a part of the relationship in a way that's really interesting, and I appreciated the way the BDSM aspect was woven in with the age gap and how the relationship feels really sweet and genuine.

For Everything a Season by @galateagalvanized (6k): M/F Female!Obi-Wan and Male!Cody in a No Order 66 AU where Cody gets to wake her up with the news that "after the war" just officially arrived. This one's one of my faves to come back to because there's a kink introduced in this that, if taken seriously, WOULD go against the Jedi lifestyle and choices that Obi-Wan lives by, but it's handled in a way I really like and feels very respectful.

deep in your marrow by @redminibike1 (3k): Obi-Wan finds Cody after a long difficult campaign and makes Cody feel REALLY good. Again, I just think Cody deserves all of the pleasure he can get, so I love this.

TAGLIST:

@mademoiselle-cookie, @ankahikoibaat

#star wars #codywan #obi-wan kenobi #commander cody #marshal commander cody #fic #fic rec #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #tcw #swtcw

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steddieunderdogfics · 1 month

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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Pricklywhicket/@messessentialist ! Prickleywhicket has four fics published to AO3 -- All in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by pricklywhicket:

so let's sneak in from the cheap seats, honey

it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)

start by pulling him out of the fire

"Sadie is so super talented in the way she describes literally everything. She is so good at writing and it's a shame that she's flown under the radar because she's not the quickest at putting things out there." -- Anonymous

Below the cut, Pricklywhicket answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Why do any of us write anything? Because we want the story to exist in the world, and it doesn’t yet, so we gotta hike up our pants and do it ourselves!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Hurt/Comfort. I’m always a sucker for the blorbos taking care of one another, in whatever form that takes. This has always been true, across a truly astronomical number of fandoms I’ve found myself dabbling in over the years.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

…actually, probably hurt/comfort! I just need to get those little dudes some validation and unconditional positive regard, okay?

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m sure I won’t be the first one to say this, but: I HAVE TO PICK ONE????? Okay, alright. I can do this. I’m gonna say…Sanctuary by SpicedSage.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’ve only written canon or canon-adjacent fic so far, so I’m eager to work on something that’s completely AU. I think there’s a unique challenge to keeping characters recognizable as themselves in a world that might not have all the same contexts that made them into that person.

What is your writing process like?

I would love to say it’s super organized and well-planned, but the truth is it’s mostly about routine and responsibility. I set aside time to do it every day, even if I can only tap out a few sentences. I’m not very strict about writing in a straight line - I can stop a scene if it’s giving me trouble, write a note about what I think happens in some [brackets], and move on to something that I have more fully fleshed-out ideas for. Sometimes writing the next scene helps you know more about what needs to happen in the current one.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I'm sure my betas would say yes 🙃 I tend to write a lot of dialogue - a lot of my revision process is going back through and realizing I have two pages of a conversation with no indication of what’s physically happening in the world around the speakers.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely when I’m finished. Prior to my ‘23 bang fic, I had never written anything chaptered. I knew going in that I could NOT start posting if it wasn’t finished, because I’ve been burned too many times by abandoned works. I didn’t want to do that to people reading my fic, and the best way to avoid it is to finish before you post.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Easily start by pulling him out of the fire. The biggest, most ambitious thing I’ve ever attempted - I still kind of can’t believe I wrote 85k.

How did you get the idea for start by pulling him out of the fire?

Like most terrible ideas, it was spawned in a fandom discord chat. We were discussing the tendency of Steddie fics to centralize the party at Steve’s house, because his parents are never there anyway. And then someone mentioned what if the parents came home and found their house occupied, and someone else mentioned Wayne being there, and it just sort of…spiraled out from there.

When writing start by pulling him out of the fire, what was something you didn’t expect?

I had no idea, going in, that I was going to write a comprehensive history of the Wayne and Eddie Munson relationship. I started writing it where I did to give some background on Wayne’s existing distaste for the elder Harrington, and then I just…kept writing. Over the course of a month or two I wrote 20k of WayneAndEddie that I had no idea was in me - it just kept coming.

What inspired it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)?

@wynnyfryd. It was a gift for her birthday. We were talking about our mutual love of Letterkenny, and she mentioned that the episode was her favorite and wouldn’t it be funny if someone wrote… and the rest is history.

What was your favorite part to write from it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)?

I had an unreasonable amount of fun with that one in general. But I think my favorite part was Eddie polling the party about what Steve means to them all. It was fun to sort of put myself in each character’s shoes and think about how they would answer. Plus y’know, any excuse to unironically love on Steve Harrington.

How do/did you feel writing so let's sneak in from the cheap seats, honey?

I believe my exact words upon deciding to write it were “jingles miserably to a blank google doc.” This was a classic case of saying “god I wish there was a fic where—” and having friends tell me that it was now my responsibility to write it. I’m glad I did, though. I love that story, and it proved to me that I could write sex and publish it and not burst into flames. I also just really, really love summer storms. And Wayne’s use of the singular ‘herpe.’

What was the most difficult part of writing so let's sneak in from the cheap seats honey?

Getting over the fear of publishing something E-rated. It was just something I hadn’t done, and I had a lot of anxiety that people were not going to respond well to it. I made three people individually review the sex scenes before I even asked anyone to beta the full fic. Of course I was worried for nothing, the reception for that fic was super lovely and gave me the confidence boost I needed to attempt start by pulling him out of the fire!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

This is like asking me to pick a favorite child. I’ll say this: most of my favorite lines in start by pulling him out of the fire were taken directly from conversations @wormdebut and I had about the fic. She’s my number one cheerleader and sounding board, and sometimes she’s so goddamn funny that I just have to include it. You have her to thank, for instance, for Steve quite literally dropping his croissant when he first sees Eddie in glasses.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have a couple of irons in the fire, but nothing I’m ready to share just yet! I’ve been taking a breather from writing (blame baldur’s gate 3, okay) but my WIPs are still very much IP. Stay tuned!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Not that I can think of!

Thank you to our author, Pricklywhicket, and our anonymous nominator! See more of pricklywhicket's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's wednesday #writers on tumblr #steddie writers #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things

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svsss-fanon-exposed · 4 months

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I really appreciate your continued emphasis on people being free to enjoy canon and fanon as they want while providing accurate canon information! All the asks and PSAs you've shared on that recently reminded me of a fic where sj actually WAS innocent, even wrt abuse. They had to make an a/n how it was their spin deviant from canon so it'd be great if they could stop getting nasty messages pls. I just think we should all foster a nicer fandom environment, so I love what you're doing~!

Yeah, I personally might be a book-canon purist, but I can certainly recognize that not everyone feels the same way-- and at the end of the day, it is fiction, what people want to do with canon and fanon is up to them and really has little to do with them as a person. I hold authorial intent in really high regard, but no need to bully those who don't, and who want to rearrange things.

Of course, for something like you mention, I would advise using some kind of tag to indicate that it's off-script. Especially since SJ's abuse of LBH is an integral part of the story the novel is telling, changing things like that changes the entire tone of things.

If a fic where the characters are intentionally OOC gets popular, then people will inevitably start going to that fic's portrayal and mixing that up with canon details (this is, probably, why there is so much apologism and denial of SJ's canonical abuse of LBH in this fandom, though it certainly wouldn't be the specific fic you're referencing alone and is probably a combination of many different factors). I personally don't like portrayals like this, but if a writer is changing it for their story, then who am I to judge or harrass them over it? The only issue comes when it spills over into the wider fandom perception, and you have people swearing left and right that SJ had nothing to do with the fake manual (he did) or didn't actually mean to abuse LBH or want him dead (he also did, and this can't just be contriubted to unreliable narrator since it comes from his own perspective in the extras). So I think an a/n at the beginning is a good idea in situations like these. If writers don't want to spoil things, just simply tag that the character is OOC compared to canon-- no need to go into specifics, and readers will know going in that the portrayal isn't meant to be a take on canon or aligning with it.

No one knows how popular their fic will become, after all, and if it gets into the wider fandom space without proper context, things like "Shen Jiu was just treating LBH normally for the time period, he wasn't abusive, LBH was just a self-obsessed person trying to demonize him" become mainstream, widely held beliefs.

Of course, this is what my blog is for, hopefully rerouting some of those ideas, pointing back to the sources where the divergence happened, so that people can see that while they may enjoy this canon-divergent depiction, that they shouldn't bring it into canon-based analysis. I think sourcing fanon is very important for this reason-- better than just saying "you're wrong" is being able to say "this is where the idea came from."

At the end of the day, a deliberately off-script, ooc portrayal should be tagged as such and AO3 provides those tags for a reason. There's nothing inherently wrong with writing characters OOC to change a story. People can write what they want! It's the writer's job to make relevant information known, and the reader's job to filter it out and just not read things they don't like. I'm so particular that I put down probably 80 percent of fics I read before I even get through the first few chapters. That's just me though! I'm a canon snob! Other people have no issues and that's fine.

As long as things aren't skewing into abuse apologism in regards to the canon-universe, there's literally no reason I can't just ignore things I don't like, and there's no reason other people can't do the same with things they don't like.

Anyway, don't harrass artists and writers in the fandom. If you feel it absolutely necessary to leave a comment in regards to an OOC character portrayal, don't be mean about it, just say something like "<Character Name> seems to be a bit OOC here, is this intentional?" but even then, it's really not necessary to come into someone else's space like that. Make your own posts, write your own fics.

There is no reason to assume malice when there are other explanations. This is hard with topics like abuse apologism, but people also need to remember that this is fiction. SJ was abusive in canon, but he's still not a real person, and if someone wants to write a version of him where he's not abusive, then that portrayal can easily be treated as a version from an alternate universe where things were different. This is not the same as saying a person in real life isn't abusive, because in this case, it's not apologism-- it's literally a different universe where the rules of the original canon don't apply. In fictional and fandom spaces, it's a lot easier and better off to just give people the benefit of the doubt.

As long as you're not claiming that his canon behavior wasn't abusive (since that's about behaviors now, and not just a fictional story), it literally doesn't matter what people write in fanfic.

Authors, tag your fics with everything you'd like your readers to be aware of, because when a reader opens up a fic they're probably expecting the characters to follow canon unless stated otherwise.

Readers, read the portrayals and stories you like. Don't read the ones you don't. If something isn't tagged correctly, and you find out you don't like it after reading, just close the fic and stop reading.

No one should ever be harassing anyone else over fandom for any reason.

#answered #psa #if it's going to be a discussion on character analysis #then people can have civil debates while providing sources #it's possible to argue without it being harassment or bullying #no need to attack people there either #but definitely no reason to just not read a fic you don't like #you know what i'll put this one in the tags #svsss #shen jiu

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megabuild · 5 months

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dear megabuild is there like. required ethubs reading out there. posts that are good for ethubs understanding that come to mind maybe. i dont think I could handle a full ethubs phase but my hand is itching for the pencil regardless so I figured I’d ask

so this has been sitting in my inbox for about a week as i try to structure the best recommendations i can but truly the only thing i can come up with is that to understand ethubs you literally just have to watch them. it's hard to explain just how reliant ethubs metaposting and analysis is on an understanding not just of their current dynamic but the dynamic they've shared over 10 years- which is a lot of content and can sound incredibly daunting, but literally.

having said that:

— videowise, obviously the full life series from either perspective but specifically last life. if you don't have the time or don't want to watch a full series, morry's ll ethubs megacut is a lifesaver. i also made a short post with some key ethubs clips a while ago.

— recommending fic here may seem against the spirit of analysis but believe me: wind back the clock and do it again on ao3 as beat by beat dissections of their relationship, though i can't speak to how easy either are to follow without an understanding of the context.

— peter bellshazes our ethubs lord who art in heaven has made a *ton* of posts about them so i would advise checking out their tag for the general life series. for personal recs id say this recent post on their current sl dynamic

— a few misc ones i like- on dead weight, alternating, avoidance, comparing ethubs to homewreckers

— technically not ethubs but i'm going to go ahead and link my required reading tag anyway which only includes like two posts but provide a good context and framework to analysis of the life series as a whole.

basically any of the posts i've linked come from blogs i would trust as Professional Ethubs Analysers so if you go through their tags you'll probably find a ton more. and if anyone has specific episodes or posts that they feel are important or summarise their dynamic please feel free to reblog and link them :) happy ethubsing!

#asks #bree #ethubs

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consistentsquash · 4 months

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Author Love Letter - Scarlet

Folks, definitely chime in you want to add stuff because a lot of folks have probably met Scarlet in different contexts!

Also it's like 4am here so my spag and everything is going to be pretty bad. Sorry about that.

Scarlet, @givereadersahug on Tumblr and emeraldlove on AO3. Powerhouse of a human, brilliant multiship and multifandom writer, moderator, fest runner, community builder, absolute role model. 0% drama, 100% love. People first always. The Queen of giving without expectation.

We were like talking about having a Rec Fest sometime back in March 2023. Of course I was 100% talk 0% action. But Scarlet actually got a lot of great folks involved, started the fest, got comods to help out and literally just made it happen. That's a good TLDR intro: Make Things Happen Behind the Scenes. Like an iphone or something. Scarlet behind the scenes = it was going to work 100% without problems.

When I think about Snarry fandom, like any big and old fandom we have different folks with different strengths/contributions. Great writers, artists, podficcers, organizers. But it's pretty hard to find somebody whose first priority is making the fandom thrive because we are fans/fan creators, pretty attached to the stuff we are doing, we have time limits because fandom is a hobby and we have to prioritize between creating and community building a lot of times. Scarlet really said Community First, People First. I don't even know how to explain it but 0% transactional vibes.

Making space for people. Meeting folks where they are at. Obviously introverts have a hard time in communities sometimes. Some folks learn how to handle it. No judgment here because these experiences can be subjective. But I have seen Scarlet go the extra mile for folks who are new/introverted/feeling imposter syndrome/going through some complicated fandom experiences. Just being there for them and supporting them to get started.

Also a brilliant writer of darkfic!!! Scarlet's darkfic shorts are some of my all time favs because of how dark/delicious/intense they are. These fics really give me 2000s dirtyhotbadwrong vibes because of how totally out and proud they are about their fiction is not reality vibe. Tons of range and lots of genres but the darkfics get my special love because they are just dirtybadhotwrong shameless amazingness. Check out In His Bed to get a sense for that unique vibe! Her community building and cheerleading wins are huge but also her darkfic writing is some of my all time fav.

Also Queen of Attention to Detail. I have read some fests with her and she guessed authors just like that during anon phase. Just incredible observation Sherlock Holmes style.

My fav fest memory is doing Snapecase reading with her. She guessed the author for Candles Lit Against the Dark, @perverse-idyll based on the title because she noticed/connected a lot of the flame/shadow imagery in the author's other Snarry fics. I am pretty good about guessing some authors myself because I can identify their style but guessing from the title is advanced superpowers. I can't even!! So extra, Scarlet. So totally extra and I love love love <3

Another fav memory I have is about analyzing fics with her. When HotD was airing eldritcher's Ossuarium was being written episode by episode. It was an insane time. We had a brilliant time analyzing those fics :D We were both passionate but Scarlet was so extra passionate, noticed tons of detail that was totally lost on me, really good at connecting the dots, just a hardcore close reader.

Also dead dove fics! 100% supporter of folks writing dead dove, incest, darkfics.

Also reccing older fics! Her Dudley phase was insane and she was finding fics from like 2000s on wayback just like that with some superhuman skills. On like websites I didn't even know existed. Really Sherlock Holmes <3

Also smaller fests. Scarlet supported a ton of Dreamwidth fests and got new folks to join them/introduced them to Dreamwidth culture and literally was the bridge between different types of fandom culture a lot of times.

Also reccing fic! Her recs for For I Have Found Salvation by @lumosatnight and also for @wilfriede's podfics have so much love/passion/enthusiasm and I just love those works 2x because of the emotional connect of her reccing <3

Also nwhiker! I really got into this author's Snack fic, Second Life because of Scarlet's passionate, passionate reccing. When Scarlet got into something the reccing happened with big big love and for me that was like the best thing ever because folks who love things with big love are just super special <3

Also my concrit buddy for movies. Ingmar Bergman to Audrey Hepburn to Past Lives just a total knowledge wikipedia about movies/movie making/movie meta/movie crit. I really changed my perspective about movies after learning from her. Also shows! Watching HotD and doing episode reviews with Scarlet is like one of my best memories ever ever ever <3 Also books!

Also moderator of Snarry discords like @houseofsnarry, participated, started and ran a ton of communities and fests including the @hprecfest which is just finishing this week <3 <3

If I have to describe Scarlet in like one word I am going to say Connection. 100% about connection, 100% heart led. So special. Love, love, love.

pic source Los Angeles Street Art photography by bigcitiesbrightlights

#author love letter #fandom #scarlet #love love love #fandom is so special because of folks like scarlet #just love #<3

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have-a-treato · 6 months

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Credentials

dom!Gale x bratty female sorcerer Tav

Context: Gale and Tav have an argument about magical theory, and things get real tasty.

Content: Smut, lemon, porn without the plot, oral (both), orgasm denial, prostate stimulation, restraint, PIV, inappropriate use of mage hand

“Am I truly so beneath you?” he purred. “Well, you could certainly be beneath me right now,” she purred back. She wasn’t subdued just yet. Gods this vixen. He was pulled back to her by the temptation of her resistance, taking her mouth with his again. He groaned into her mouth, “You wicked, wicked pixie.” He licked into her mouth and bit at her lips, his hand angling her head for him. She managed to break free of the kiss, “Come on, Gale, finish what you started,” she compelled him. He answered her with confidence, “I do not quite believe that I started this, but I will finish it.” He stepped back again and surveyed his capture with keen eyes.

*the POV switches between Gale and Tav randomly so it might be a little confusing. I'm playing around with third person and perspectives

Fic List AO3

There was quiet, only the sounds of their gusting breaths, eyes unwavering from each other, neither willing to make the first move. So they didn’t. They did it together.

Gale and Tav rushed at each other, colliding with startling force and hands and teeth. Gale gripped the back of Tav’s head and took the first kiss, all clashing lips, panting breaths, and dueling tongues. He commanded her with his mouth, bowing over her slightly, and the lightning that shot through her in response was startling. But she loved it. They’ve had their squabbles to be sure, but she’d never riled him quite this much. He was entirely dominant in the moment, and she realized that he was pushing her backward. Her back hit the wall a moment later and a feral grin snuck across her face in between his raging kisses. She must prolong this; it was just too good.

“You’re still wrong,” she insisted on panting breaths.

“It is my specialization. You are quite literally ignoring the fundamentals of the concept.” He scoffed, pulling back from the kiss while his hand further tightened at the back of her head. “Why will you not concede that my knowledge and experience surpass you in this?”

“Guess you’ll have to make me.”

His eyes widened in pure bewilderment, then that fire she’d stoked came roaring back. With frustration ladening his voice he growled, “You are so- so crass, stubborn, arrogant-”

“And better than you.”

He pushed Tav against the wall even harder, and muttered something she couldn’t catch during the distraction. Now, now, she tried to say, but no sound emerged from her mouth. The bastard silenced her!

He smirked as the realization crossed her face, “That’s quite enough of your depraved mouth.”

She returned the grin; He’d remember after this that she didn’t need her mouth. Her hand reached between them and gripped the front of his trousers, feeling the obvious enjoyment he was getting out of this exchange, despite the tone of his words. Her hand squeezed, then stroked his hardness through the fabric. Gale’s eyes flickered and that grin faded, and he lunged forward to take back her mouth in those furious kisses. Perfect, she thought, Gods, he’s so perfect like this.

Gale distantly thought that he was less in control of this interaction than their positions would suggest, but the taste of her flooded his mind and drowned out all thought save for his anger and lust. Her hand stroked him through his trousers and his hips moved unbidden against her palm, seeking more sensation. He must be the victor, he was right, and those smug smiles on her face, UGH. It only sent him into a frenzy when he knew he was absolutely in the right here. Her hand squeezed slightly at his head and a shudder rolled over his back. No, she can’t win, he thought. Stepping back after biting her lower lip, he quickly uttered an incantation that had spectral hands gripping her wrists and ankles. Her hands were raised and pinned to the wall above her head, her ankles gently tugged so her stance widened for him.

Taking a moment to savor this view of her, he flicked his wrist to remove the Silence spell and asked, “Comfortable?”

Tav’s breathing had kicked up, and she was panting unabashedly from the powerful arousal of being restrained by him. They’d never done anything like this together, and she was quickly finding that she really, really, liked it. What else would he do?

She pointedly looked at her hands and feet, “We’re a bit past cordiality, no?”

“I’m not trying to hurt you,” He huffed.

“Maybe I want you to.”

He chuckled under his breath and rolled his eyes, giving a subtle shake of his head as he crossed his arms, “Back to the point: just admit that you’re outclassed.”

“I’m never outclassed, wizard,” Tav smirked. Oh, he was really going to hate this next part. “You’re just jealous that I can feel it in my bones, and you’ve had to study yourself into the ground to get even that far.”

It wasn’t anything Gale had not heard before, so her goading rolled right off his shoulders. But he was beginning to understand this game and how to play along. He lunged for her again, one hand cradling the back of her head and the other diving under her robe and between her thighs, rubbing firmly in circles at first then backing off to feather light brushes of his fingertips against the fabric of her underwear. He felt her tense and then she attempted to chase his fingers with her hips, wanting that firm pressure back. She bit her bottom lip, a teasing visual for him as her teeth sunk into that pillowy softness. He replaced her teeth with his, sucking on her lip and then trailing down her neck with biting kisses. He smiled triumphantly as he heard her first moan in his ears, keeping his mouth on her skin and sliding his fingers underneath her underwear to coast across the hood of her clit, never giving pressure, only the ghost of it.

Her hips bucked against him, and he tutted, “Behave, or I’ll restrain you further.”

She let out a gasping second moan, as if that was exactly what she wanted. Oh yes, he understood perfectly how to play this game now. He removed his hand and deftly unclasped the front of her robe, opening it wide, and unlacing the sheer slip clinging to her curves beneath. He pinned her hips against the wall to still her, then resumed those biting kisses over her shoulders, her collarbone, between her breasts and finally to her breasts themselves. The tip of his tongue circled around each nipple, and he sucked mercilessly on each one, long pulls that gave a popping sound as he pulled back. She yelped loudly but he continued his path south, licking down her ribs. His tongue found her navel and dipped inside, causing her to squirm and writhe the hardest yet, and he gave a dark chuckle. He lowered to his knees, stared up at her with an impish smile, and bunched her slip around her hips. He slowly lowered his mouth to her sex, tonguing her clit through the fabric of her underwear, feeling her muscles tense as she stifled a whine in her throat. Backing off again, he deftly ripped the waistband of the fabric and tore it away from where he wanted his mouth, finally giving her the pressure and friction that she ached for. His wrist flicked and the hands gripping her ankles widened her stance even more, allowing him to delve his tongue into her plush channel. He sucked at her velvety folds, lapped at her clit teasingly, and dipped his tongue back into her. A realization that he loved to tease her tickled the back of his mind, but the forefront was consumed by the way she tasted and how she was crying out freely. Her hips were pitched forward, and her cries became higher and higher, and then he stepped away suddenly.

“Not yet,” He commanded. A soft glow emanated from his fingertips as he spoke a low incantation, pressing those fingers to her sex. They were icy cold and would halt her climax and numb her slightly. “Not until I say.”

A long, low groan burst from Tav’s throat as he stole her impending orgasm from her, ending in a half-heartedly wrathful growl, “You bastard,” she gusted with each breath, “You bastard... bastard...”

The back of her head hit the wall as her strength failed her, now completely at his mercy, or lack thereof. Her legs shook and her head swam with the shock of being so close to tipping over the edge, only to be rudely yanked back. She watched his face under her lashes as he stood and admired the mess of her he’d made, his chin tucked between his thumb and forefinger.

“Am I truly so beneath you?” he purred.

“Well, you could certainly be beneath me right now,” she purred back. She wasn’t subdued just yet.

Gods this vixen. He was pulled back to her by the temptation of her resistance, taking her mouth with his again. He groaned into her mouth, “You wicked, wicked pixie.” He licked into her mouth and bit at her lips, his hand angling her head for him.

She managed to break free of the kiss, “Come on, Gale, finish what you started,” she compelled him.

He answered her with confidence, “I do not quite believe that I started this, but I will finish it.” He stepped back again and surveyed his capture with keen eyes.

“That mouth of yours really is quite vexatious,” triumph in his face as he began shifting the spectral hands to change her position. Her knees bent and she lowered to kneel before him, the hands at her wrists pulling back so that her chest was slightly thrust forward. “Perhaps I’ll give it something to worry over,” he uttered lowly while unlacing his trousers.

Her cheeks ignited with a great anticipatory flush, her mouth flooding with saliva at the sight of him above her and the feeling of her hands behind her back. She watched avidly as his fingers deftly unlaced the front of his trousers, pulling them and his underwear down to his thighs, releasing himself. Dutifully, she opened her mouth for him, waiting patiently. He took her chin in his fingers and set the tip of his cock on her tongue, “Good girl,” he grinned, then slid himself into her mouth. She moaned around him, watching his face as he slid in and out of her mouth, pressing her tongue to the underside of him and flicking gently. A crease between his brows formed slowly as his pleasure increased, but he still moved slowly. She sucked him as he pulled away and flicked with her tongue as he moved forward, and frustratingly wished she could use her hands to encourage his hips. She wanted him to lose his control and use her mouth as mercilessly as he denied her orgasm earlier.

An idea sparked in her mind. He wasn’t the only one who could be merciless, and again, she didn’t need to use her hands, or her mouth. She continued to watch his face, watch that crease in his brow. Her lashes fluttered closed as she concentrated on her magic, grinning inwardly to herself. She felt the well of her power answer to her will, as easily as breathing. Right now, Gale should be feeling a new warm pressure sensation around his prostate. She’d done this for him before, but certainly not with magic. She felt his hips stutter, and she opened her eyes to see that crease in his eyebrows deepened, and his eyes honed to hers with a knowing spark.

“Oh, you...” he started and trailed off, the pleasure taking his words.

His hands flew to her hair and the back of her head, moving earnestly in her mouth now. She opened her throat for him, taking breaths on his retreat, squeezing and sucking around him as he thrust into her throat. Small tears were forced into the corners of her eyes, but she loved every second of it. Seeing him lose composure and chase his pleasure, using her however he wished. She focused on her magic, continuing to stimulate him with her mouth and her mind. His breath gusted out of him above her, and suddenly her hands and feet were free. He’d apparently lost concentration, and she took the opportunity to grip his thighs and pull his hips forward, sucking his cock deep into her throat. He groaned, and she dug her fingernails into his flesh, relishing the feel of him. She moaned around him again and moved a hand to his sac, massaging there as well as inside him. She heard a growl above her and the next she knew, she was gulping air as she was pulled off him by her hair, her back thudding against the floor and his mouth stealing her air again. Her hands grappled for purchase in his shirt, and his hands lifted her hips as he slid home inside her and began slamming into her. She cried out with pleasure and victory, a feral smile on her face as she nipped at his lips and moved her hips to meet his. Their cries were loud and uncaring, and she watched his face as he lost himself, sweat beading on his brow, his chest heaving as he rutted into her. He leaned his forehead against hers and groaned against her lips, “Come. Now.”

The command in his voice was all it took for her, and her climax barreled up her spine, wrenching a scream from her throat. He slammed fully against her and paused, shuddering bodily, a groan to match her scream emanating from his chest, his muscles taut under his skin as his own orgasm stunned him with its force. Their strength fled them all at once, both collapsing. Gale barely had the presence of mind to shift some of his weight onto his elbow to avoid crushing her completely, still resting his forehead against hers.

After a few moments of only the sounds of them catching their breaths, he rolled them to their sides. They gazed at each other with sated, slightly surprised smiles across their cheeks. Tav traced their finger across Gale’s brows, and Gale squeezed her hip gently.

“What were we arguing about?” Tav asked, a little slur in her words.

Gale chuckled, “I haven’t the faintest idea.”

---

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.

I found clips of angry Gale and was... inspired.

This was supposed to be a fun little drabble to take a break from the other stuff I'm writing but I had a little too much fun with it.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale x tav #gale x f!tav #gale romance #gale x reader #gale x you #bg3 gale #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #baldur's gate 3 fanfic #gale dekarios romance #gale dekarios x tav

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arrowheadedbitch · 7 months

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There's a scene in MossyOak's fic (Which I cannot recommend enough, it's on AO3, go read it) where her Meta Tim is in a sticky situation where Ra's has him trapped and he has to use his powers to get out (for more context you have to read the fic bc I don't wanna spoil it) and I just want to share my take on how the situation would go with my Meta tim (who has different powers)

Water is filling up the room and his family is looking to him for a plan to get out of here. He looks down at the water and sees his reflection. Then his power accidentally activates and he glimpses into an alternate dimension. Oops, he's never been too good at controlling his powers when it came to reflections, he can only hope no one saw his eyes glow bright green in the dark room. Tim looks around, everyone is too preoccupied to have noticed, them he looks up to see a camera, Ras must be watching their demise. Suddenly, the water turns off. Everyone is confused, a moment later they hear footsteps, running towards the room they're in. The door unlocks and swings open to reveal Ras himself standing there, slightly out if breath.

"Tim....I was unaware you dipped yourself into the pit"

"Literally what are you talking ab-OH SHIT"

Thank you for reading, this has been if my tim was in MossyOak from AO3's fanfic.

#tim drake #red robin #robin #rr #batfam #meta!tim #ra's al ghul #my au #mossy oak #fanfic

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valyrfia · 20 days

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shipping and tumblr culture (for lack of a better word!) have also made people a lot more comfortable doing things that are just… mean. i’m not sure if you were part of the fandom when people were reading fanfic on podcasts/discord and mocking the authors; it was terrible. i don’t think anyone will be stealing my fic to sell on etsy but i am afraid someone will feel bold enough to mock it on tiktok!

Honestly, I miss when fandom and fanfiction weren’t things that were known mainstream. I’m old enough to remember the times where no one and I mean NO ONE you knew in real life had any idea if another person engaged in fandom culture and it was not something talked about nor asked (hence the context for “I like your shoelaces”/“thanks i stole them form the president”). I think fandom etiquette has gone down the drain with the movement of fandom into mainstream cultural consciousness. There’s been a complete loss of core rules like: don’t like don’t read, it’s rude to go on ao3 comments demanding a next chapter, don’t give criticism unless an author asks for it (and even then make it be constructive and nice!), don’t steal someone else’s fic/art for impressions (or profit!)

People have become more entitled and mean in fandom spaces (Karen-esque, one could say). Your favourite author publishes a Charlos fic when they usually write Lestappen? Okay, you can try it out and see whether you like it but no one is FORCING you to read it. You do not have the right to go into their askbox or ao3 comments with hate just because the author wanted to try something and didn’t tailor it just for your tastes. If you do not like something, you do NOT have to be mean about it! You can just click off!

I saw this comment on ao3 on a fic I really enjoy a few months ago, and I had to take a screenshot because it just rubbed me the wrong way so much and I think really sums up the current entitlement that’s been sadly growing within fic and fandom.

I think something so many people need to learn again is that not every piece of content is specifically written for you, and that’s okay. You can literally just click off, there’s zero reason to be mean or nasty about it to the author.

#fandom in f1 #anon #asks

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