#lmao i think most of this is Unpopular so u are warned

[relentless-endurance]

Hello, I love to encourage violence, please any of the following Choose Violence ask game questions you feel up to answering: 1, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 16, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, and 25!

'Isn't that basically all of them?' Yes! yes, it is. If there are any I didn't list that you wanted to answer, feel free to answer those too. I love drama, give me the chisme, peel it and feed it to me like squapes.

LIKE SQUAPES. fun fact: i have a squapes keychain on my lanyard. (alongside shoebill, Crow destiny 2 and (redacted) from Pandaemonium)

I will do xiv because. because.

answers them all because i have the day off, why not

the character everyone gets wrong

thats tough bc every character has those ppl that get them utterly wrong; I have particular beef though with the "emet was right and hydaelyn was evil" crowd because it just. it glosses over everything Emet did and acts like what Hydaelyn had to do was the worstest ever amen how dare she, when its like. Both of these characters did what they thought was necessary, but there is a gulf of difference between "I would let billions die to bring my world back" and "I sundered the star to avert a far worse disaster"

because i think people fail to realize. they were just going to keep sacrificing to Zodiark lol. (ALSO THERES ENDWALKER SPOILER STUFF as to why I will die on the hill defending my crystal mom)

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

see last ask! that was a dm a person sent me lmao. at least??? they warned me???

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

this is going to be hilarious coming from me but i'm not much a fan of most zenoswol or emetwol shippers (in spite of enjoying the former) because the discourse surrounding it all is fucking. INSANE. and there are just ways they mischaracterize both characters that drive me fucking BONKERS. So I stay in my brainworm corner with select people and I keep emet selch as a bitter ex because its honestly a lot funnier

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Amon/Fandaniel. Specifically the clown wearing Asahi's skinsuit and the guy from crystal tower. there is just. a vibe. about it. that i do not fucking like how the fans engage with it. i can't explain it concretely it just fucking bothers me.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

sorrows of werlyt is not gaius' redemption it is him suffering consequences of his actions. if its anything close to redemption atonement is probably a better word for it and also the wol still fuckin hates his guts you can see the faces in the cutscenes. he calls u a fried when at best ur coworkers for that.

also i'm a stormblood enjoyer till i fuckin die. this is not a discussion i had fun thats it that the message

9. worst part of canon

the fact that ARR didn't lean more into the fact that you were the WoL from 1.0, ARR's writing in general.

also in general there is more bits in the msq where i wish we could uh. bite back a little harder instead of just being a silent protagonist.

10. worst part of fanon

oh god. theres a lot. probably the uwu soft imperialism that people get up to with certain ships (esp bc certain characters canonically and categorically do NOT give a fuck about politics at all)

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Aside from the obvious female characters I will defend until i fucking die (Lyse, Minfilia, ETC.).... Maxima! I just think he's neat. like was actually being genuine as a Populares, and saw that shit was fucked and noped out. also here, have this screen shot where my crimes gave him thot boots:

13. worst blorboficiation

answered in last ask! theres 1 ur about to meet and 1 thats pandemonium relevant but yeah. bluuuuuhhhhh your milage may very

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Huh. I'm actually not super sure here besides things I've already bitched about. WAIT.

I fucking HATE when ppl have their wol who did not let go of heavensward trauma. like in that their wol didn't develop past it. especially if they're dark knights because. WHAT WAS THE POINT?

everyone handles grief differently ofc and its not a linear thing ever, but its so ?????????? to me that its like "my wol hasn't changed or let go or processed this at all".

what is the point if your character is never going to change or be affected? especially getting to shadowbringers??? thats all about grief and having a primo example of what NOT PROCESSING YOUR GRIEF does to you and can push you to?

like i'm not saying they shouldn't be affected at all, considering how much Haurchefant haunts you in the MSQ but like come on now. you've gotta move in some kind of direction.

(also smaller and pettier pet peeve: super 2edgy4me Azems. it feels so against what Azem was man, idk.)

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

my taste is flawless and impeccable and perfect. zenoswol may be the closest thing to an answer but like nah, its fucking funny.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

most of early ARR before waking sands

there is a bit after the first endwalker trial that i've sort of speedran on my subsequent runs, its not BAD, but it is a little jarring tonally the first time. i mildly appreciate it in hindsight because AFTER that endwalker cuts the brakes and is a semi rolling the down the hill at top speed emotionally, but it still like. please let me move on.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

alexander raids. mid as fuck honestly.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

oagh unfortunately i am a girlie who enjoys all the popular things in canon. The best answer is probably the Four Lords trial series. Its one of my favorites but people don't seem to talk about it much

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

I actually don't have a ship that fits this. I only like like 2 of the canon/canon ships and i've always been a fan of most of the wolships that float around

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Emet Selch. I love grandpa war crimes, he's one of my favorite characters and favorite villains ever, i have literal merch of him, but holy shit he is the reason for so much twitter discourse. which is kind of funny and on brand but also jesus christ can people please just relax and learn to mute/block people and tags aaaa

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

i don't know if this common or i just saw it a lot given my twitter algorithm but people have so. much. beef. with people who Persephone Azems. for some reason.

the reason is apparently they're most insufferable kind of straight girl shipper/emet selch fan but like aside from an occasional encounter on a wolqotd post, the two people i know/know of who actually have an Azem named Persephone are.

an mlm whose noriety comes from... being one of the biggest G'rahawol content creators/shippers

one of my lesbian friends who chose it for not shipping related reasons

and most of the time their highest crime is. an Azem named Persephone. that ships Azemet. like any genuine complaints there might be are like. not unique to this VERY NICHE SUBSET OF FANS but apparently they're sooooo common and soooo annoying.

like maybe just block and move on bc some of the complaining i see borders on being genuinely misogynistic like. its fandom pixels. RELAX.

#replies #asks #motheatenscarf #ffxiv #ffxiv spoilers

[techs-feral-wife]

ok im obviously gonna say star wars lmao.

Oh lawd Sol, this is a broad category but I accept the challenge. (Warning, I have brainrot so this will be majority clones)

Link to original post:

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Tech is my husband. I also think about Leia far more than any person should.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

WRECKER. I just want to squish his face. (And Echo. I'm feral about Echo)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):

Is it Howzer? It might be Howzer. (Is C-3po underappreciated? He's is my fav because he has anxiety. Like, me too bitch)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

KIX (and Hardcase)

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

Can I put Anakin here? It's Anakin. Did he kill children and do a bunch of other problematic shit? Yes. Do I still love him an unhealthy amount? Also yes.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

See, Idek where to start with this one. I'm not sure how to approach it. I would get amusement out of tormenting one Dr. Hemlock as retribution for my love Crosshair. Other than that IDK (sorry 💀)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell):

In light of recent events, Saw Gerrera will be sent directly to superhell... Nah but in all honest, it is Palpatine. It has to be. While yes, he is technically the reason my husbands (the clones) exist, he is also the reason that most of them die so S U P E R H E L L.

I hope I interpreted this shit correctly 💀

Thanks for sending this in @sol-oya-6116 ✨💕

#I'm surprised I did not mention Han Solo once in this post #he gets a shoutout in the tags for owning my ass #I love a scoundrel #also Lux Bonteri is on my list somewhere #but that's because his voice actor plays a character I've simped for for 12 years #same reason I simp for Silco

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school

[oodlyenough]

alright i've seen arcane twice through now, here are my opinion patch notes:

jayce is hilarious i can't believe fandom hates him so much lmao... arcane boldly asks, what if steve rogers shot a child, and i think that's very fun and sexy of them

fr though i do think jayce is one of the more interesting characters precisely because he's -- well partly because i feel like he realized he's bisexual two days ago and is making it everyone's problem, which is already great. but also because watching the square-jawed hero complex guy make a series of terrible decisions and go mad with power is a satisfying thing to witness. the story seems very aware jayce is doing a bunch of fucked up stuff, and i appreciate that. unhinged bisexual rights

i was also more into the political drama once i was following it closer. i think it's handled with relative subtlety most of the time and i like that! i hope it stays that way in s2, please god. also how tf does the council work, are people appointed? i guess? based on status/wealth? it certainly doesn't seem to be a democracy.

also i love ambessa. can't wait to see more of her.

i feel like mel's writing is... kind of underbaked. her words and her actions don't always correspond (eg "i've never been able to give back!" says the single richest person in a city with severe wealth disparity who has been in political power for a decade). i don't say any of this to drag mel, because i'm very interested in who i think she is/could be, but i find it hard to decipher if this is nuanced writing or just the story not really knowing what it's doing with her -- i guess we'll see what s2 does. i'm still pretty confident she'll survive the finale, not so much because i think she'll survive the entire show (doubtful imo) but because i think if they're going to kill mel she'll get a solo death episode and the finale/fallout of jinx's bomb has too much else going on. fingers crossed anyway, lol, i think it'd be shitty if she's just dead now before they did much with her

i understand like 25% more of what happened with viktor and happy fun ball but ... still not a lot. lmao. i don't mind them keeping it vague i guess but i hope future sequences are less outright confusing to me. why did it eat sky? why did it change his hand? was that on purpose? we never saw him having issues with his hand, right? who knows.

still love that dinner scene with jinx/silco/vi. as i was watching with @firstofoctober i was saying how great it is that everyone in the scene is saying stuff they genuinely believe even if that stuff isn't factually true. i know there's Discourse over how genuine silco was being but i really do think all evidence points to him meaning it/believing what he's saying, even if *we* know vi isn't going to betray powder, etc. likewise vi obviously means it when she says she loves jinx and they're still sisters etc... but i really don't think she has a proper grasp of who jinx is now, she's projecting baby powder and expecting she can flip a switch. it's good and sad and i like it a lot.

coming out less flatteringly on rewatch:

ep 1 is so boringgggggggggg these are so many characters and i only have to care about two of them

caitvi moves at breakneck pace lol. slow down ladies it's been 72 hours tops

heimerdinger is just terrible on rewatch imo lmao he literally never does anything to help anyone or anything. i'm pretty sure jayce only deposed him for being mean to viktor, but he was still right. i GET that his whole thing is being immortal and blah blah but like what if: some guy with no perspective on human existence wasn't ruling a city full of mostly-humans. depose him again jayce.

and my least popular opinion: caitlyn i just... i tried man. i dunno. i mean she's nice and stuff... katie leung is funny sometimes. i just feel like she is so uncomplicated compared to literally every other character, with the least compelling arc. and i think the story treats her with real kiddie gloves too, which i find grating. everyone else fucks up and makes mistakes and is punished narratively for it, but caitlyn is always right bc she is a nice good cop. okay. whatever.

#arcane #lmao i think most of this is Unpopular so u are warned

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

hi i don't know anything at all about zelda can you describe the plot in as much detail as u can /gen

OH BOY. OH BOY. OH NO

so zelda is notorious for having the most bullshit timeline ever so if you really want this buckle up lmao.

so here is the beautiful horrible convoluted timeline. it covers 15 games (two are missing), three timeline splits, and is just ridiculous:

im gonna break this up by timeline, then game, and end w breath of the wild and hyrule warriors. there'll be some lore bits thrown in too. this is your time to leave if you need to. you've been warned /hj

(i spent literal days on this everyone is required to like and tell me how smart and handsome i am)

CREATION AND PRE SPLIT:

So in the beginning, there were the Three Golden Goddesses: Din, the Goddess of Power, Nayru, the Goddess of Wisdom, and Farore, the Goddess of Courage.

Together, they created the world. Then they dipped outta there. They entrusted the world to Hylia, who is also called the golden goddess sometimes bc nintendo can't think of another color. basically, they left, and when they did they went to the sacred realm, a realm that is uh. sacred. idk holy stuff is there, and at the spot where they left the material plane and entered this realm, the triforce was created. it was a trio of sacred golden triangles (yes more gold. nintendo pls) that would give immense power to whoever held it, mostly in the form of granting any wish imaginable. it was made up of the triforces of wisdom, power, and courage.

so the goddess are are gone, hylia is chillin, protecting the world and the triforce, everything is great until our anti-bestie demise shows up. demise is the king of the demons (??? it's not made very clear what he is. he's bad, okay?) and he wants control of the world and the triforce. a war breaks out between the two gods and hylia goes to find someone strong enough to help her end it. that someone is link, the First Ever Link bc there are like 18 of them. the goddess sword is forged for him, which holds the sword spirit fi, and they uh. well they dont really win.

(hylia and her dead boyfriend. rip)

hylia seals demise away, but link is killed in action and the world is decimated. she sends the last of her people onto an island in the sky, far from the destruction, and, knowing the seal wont hold forever, reincarnates herself and link so they'll be there when the seal breaks.

Skyward Sword

okay so did you get all that? that's the fucking PROLOGUE baby. i told you this would be long, im so sorry. NOW we are at the first game, skyward sword! it was made for the wii and really unpopular bc the motion controls sucked, which is a shame bc the story and character designs are great! so remember when we last saw link and hylia and they were being reincarnated? meet zelda and link 2.0, the two people they were reincarnated as!

link and zelda are two normal teens living on skyloft, the island in the sky. they're at an academy to become knights, they fly around on their giant birds, have the cutest fucking friendship ever, and their life is pretty damn good aside from a few bullies, like groose. but one day when link and zel are out flying a storm appears and rips zelda out of the sky. bye bye zelda. link is in a panic, and is called by uh. the force? to where the goddess sword and fi have been slumbering. he draws fi, puts on a snazzy green hat, and sets off for the world under skyloft to find zelda.

on the surface, he finds that zelda was saved from the storm by impa, her badass girlfriend, and that they are on the run trying to purify zelda's soul so she can fully realize her goddess potential. link follows after, and in the process meets the demon twink lord ghirahim, who is trying to capture zelda and use her life force to revive demise. he is the spirit of demise's sword, just as fi is the spirit of link's.

so link is following zelda around and ends up at the temple of the time, where zelda and impa are chilling. ghirahim finds them and zelda and impa book it through a gate of time (time travel? fun!) but not before zelda gives link her magic goddess harp. link goes on a funky quest to learn how to use it. in the process, he meets up w his old bully groose. they make up and team up to save zelda. quality redemption arc, it's super cute. link fights a weakened version of demise that was slowly escaping the seal, the imprisoned. it's a stupid boss fight it's not that important. anyways, now he finds out his sword isnt strong enough to kill demise (it would have been a lot faster if they just told him all of this upfront???) so he has to go beef it up.

he does so using the sacred flames and gets the master sword! that sword is very important! it is in almost every game do not forget it!

link finds a second gate of time, beats the shit outta ghirahim over it, and goes through, ending up in a time right after demise gets sealed away. link learns abt hylia's war and that hylia essentially created him just to fight for her and kill demise, which is a shitty thing to do. agency? hylia has never heard of it. it is a recurring problem w her. so link and zelda learn that the seal that had been keeping demise sleep from the end of the war to the present day was actually zelda. time travel! so she has to stay in a magic coma and do that until link kills demise, w link is pretty upset about, but oh well. he goes and gets the triforce and wishes that demise would idk explode or something. he asks it to kill him. the imprisoned (which came back. its such a fucking stupid enemy) is nuked by the triforce, and link books it to zelda. she wakes up, they hug, it's cute, but BAM ghirahim shows up in his twinkish glory, kidnaps zelda, and decides that if he cant resurrect demise in this time he'd just go back in time and do it in another. Time travel!!!

he tries to sacrifice zelda and link beats the ever loving snot outta him, but he's too slow. demise is back baby!! they fight and link wins bc he's link, but before he could finish him off demise curses him: he says that for the rest of time his hatred shall be reborn to destroy the world, and anyone with the blood of hylia (zelda) or the spirit of the hero (link) will be cursed to forever be reborn to stop him. ouch. anyways link seals him in the master sword (a reoccurring process in the games) the day is saved blah blah blah. which means we're ready for.....

Minish Cap

so this is the first game i ever finished by myself! It is near and dear to me. it was on the gameboy and is fucking adorable.

it has been many many many many years since skyward sword. like multiple milenia. hyule, the land established by link and zelda on the surface in ss, is thriving, life is good. now in this hyrule there are these lil bitty mouse creatures called minish who can only be seen by children and do good deeds like hide money in the grass and help you find lost things. every year, the hylians in castle town, the capital of hyrule, hold a festival to honor them.

okay enough exposition!

link, a 10~ year old blacksmith apprentice, (hylia starts em on the trauma train young lol) is meeting up w his best friend, princess zelda, and go to the festival. she gifts him a sheild and he goes with her to watch a sword tournament where a strange person in purple named vaati beats out the competition. for a prize he's supposed to meet the princess, win a sword, and see the picori blade in person. the picori sword, which was forged by the minish as a gift for the last hero of hyrule (reincarnation remember), is a fancy magic sword that bound a sealed chest that held a shit ton of dark creatures and magic and shit. instead of accepting his prize, vaati breaks the sword releasing the dark magic.

he had come in search of the magical light force, a sacred power that is in zelda bc she has the blood of hylia. a note: the words light force/triforce/sacred power/etc are all used when talking abt zelda and vary from game to game. they mean the exact same thing, that she's got the blood of hylia and ~magic goddess powers~. okay to our regularly scheduled programming. so vaati is pissed he didn't find the light force, thinking it was a physical thing he could take, so he murders the guards and turns zelda to stone. link tries and fails to protect her, and once vaati leaves decides that, despite being ten and vaati being a grown man with magic, he's gonna kill vaati and save zelda. he decides the best step would be to fix the picori blade so he sets out for minish woods to find them.

on the way he finds..... a talking hat! the minish cap! or, a cap that is literally a minish. it is a minish sorcererer named ezlo who was curses by vaati into a cap. turns out, vaati wasnt always some big tough guy-he's actually minish! he was ezlo's apprentice who went mad with power, turned himself into a human, and decided to steal the light force. with ezlo's magic, link is able to shrink down to the size of a minish, speak to animals, do certain magic, etc etc etc. so link learns that in order to remake the picori blade, he needs the four elements and sets off on a quest to find them. Link places them and the sword in the elemental sanctuary and forges the four sword, a holy blade that can split its user into four people. link learns from the history of the sanctuary that zelda holds the light force.

meanwhile, vaati has been spying on link. uh oh! he seens when link learns about zelda! uh oh!!! vaati steals zelda's body and begins a ritual to extract her soul/life force/whatever so he can get the power. fun fact, if you take too slow in the boss fight she will die. it will tell you that you were too slow and she is dead now. 10 year old me was traumatized the first time that happened. link beats vaati and him and zelda seal his evil final boss form away in the four sword and place the sword in the sanctuary. the day is saved <3 .... or is it????!?!

Four Sword/Four Sword Adventures

god where to even start. so there games are multiplayer and have almost no plot. i could give the plot of the manga, but it is 100% non canon, so that seems like a waste. Basically: vaati as giant evil bat thing gets free of the four sword. kidnaps zelda. link pulls sword to kill him, turns into four people. a few dungons later he kills vaati. the end. told ya there was no plot.

Ocarina of Time

back to plot! so! much! plot!!!!! Welcome to one of the, if not the, most well know of the games. it was zelda's first 3d game and created a whole generation of zelda fans. a note though: the plot carries some concerning race problems. our main villain is the king of 'thieves from the desert' called the gerudo who all have dark skin and large noses, and the women all wear stereotypical sexualized ~exotic~ belly dancer outfits. they make uncomfortably sexual shouts when link kills them. it's not good. the gerudo appear multiple times in the series and none of them are done well. the gerudo are a race of all women, with one man being born every 100 years and automatically becoming king, and this lore is often written in a very transmisogynistic way, especially in one of the later games, breath of the wild. basically, the racism, misogyny, and occasional transmisogyny cannot be ignored when talking about the gerudo and ocarina of time. okay back to plot.

it has been a long, long, long, long, long time since vaati and the four sword. since then, there has been a bloody civil war. ten years after it ends, we open on our hero....

deep in hyrule forest lives a race of forest spirits called the kokiri. they are eternal children, gifted immortality but unable to age or leave the forest, and are watched over by the great deku tree, a forest deity in the shape of a giant tree. each kokiri has a guardian fairy who watches over them- except for one. ten year old link (thank you hylia for traumatizing children) lives in kokiri forest and he is the only boy without a fairy :( it's just him and his bestie saria, and he faces relentless bullying from mido. one night, he has a horrible nightmare of a man on horseback chasing a woman and girl and is woken up by a... fairy! link has a fairy now! her name is navi and she tells link that he's being summoned by the great deku tree. after some harassment via mido and grabbing a sword and shield, the two of them are off. they meet up with the tree and his killer mustache only to learn that the deku tree has been cured by a wicked man in black armor (who totally isn’t our main villain /s). link goes inside the tree to break the curse, which took the form of a giant spider, but it was too late. the deku tree died, but not after giving link the spiritual stone of the forest: the kokiri emerald. he tells link the stone is magic and he has to bring it to hyrule castle and the princess asap. so link books it, apparently forgetting the kokiri die when they leave the forest but whatever. he's stopped by saria who also seems to have forgotten he will DIE if he leaves the forest, and she tells him she always knew he was different from the rest of them and destined to leave. ouch. she gives him her ocarina and tells him to remember her, because they'd always be best friends, no matter what

:*(

so link leaves and finds his way to castle town where he then sneaks into the castle and finds.... the girl from his dream! uh oh! that's princess zelda, who told him she had a dream of a child from the forest with a shining stone and a fairy who came to her to help her banish the dark clouds over hyrule. she thinks ganondorf, the gerudo king, is what the dark clouds represent, and her and link go snooping. turns out that... it's the man from his dream! shit! that's not good!

zelda tells him that ganon plans to steal the triforce, and bc no one else believes her it is up to her and link to stop him. she tells him there are 4 things ganon needs to unlock the entrance to the sacred realm: the three spiritual stones (kokiri emerald, zora sapphire, and goron ruby) and the ocarina of time (game title shout out!!!). zelda has the ocarina hidden, so link just has to grab the rest of the stones. link sets out, but not before impa (the woman from the dream. this is a lot of dream people. also, a second impa! cool! ) tells him 'zelda's lullaby', which he can play on saria's ocarina when proof of his connection to the royal family is needed.

link goes to see the gorons and the zora; he befriends goron chief durania, becoming his brother in arms, and gets the ruby, then saves princess ruto of the zora, who proposes and gives him the sapphire. link runs back to zelda- uh oh! zelda and impa are being chased by ganon on horseback! just like the DrEaM!!!

Ganon spots link, knocks him around a bit bc who doesn't love attacking children, zelda tosses the ocarina of time to him, and link books it to the temple of time to unlock the sacred realm. he does so and what does he find? the master sword! i told ya not to forget it! so, sacred realm open, he pulls the sword, and wakes up 7 years in the future. ganon stole the triforce while he was gone, but bc ganon's soul was unbalanced the triforce split into it's three parts; ganon kept the triforce of power, zelda the triforce of wisdom, and link the triforce of courage. in 99.9 percent of the games, if the triforce is there, it's broken up between them in that way. SO ANYWAYS, zelda is mia and now link is a grown-up. guess he's not really a kokiri then. weirdest way to find you're adopted, right? so link is an adult now and the world has ended, but while he's sitting there like 'wtf do i do now?' out of the shadows, comes the world's coolest most transgender ninja, sheik. sheik is a sheikah (who would have guessed?) a race of secretive shadow people who have been protecting the hyrule royal family since impa #1 in skyward sword. so sheik is like 'yo dude, life fuckin SUCKS rn, but you are the hero of time and it is your duty to save hyrule!'

so sheik follows link around, giving him advice, helping him, etc etc, they're buds. sheik tells him to save the six sages: the light sage, rauru, the sage of fire, durania (remember him?), the sage of water, ruto (remember her??) the sage of shadow, impa (remember her???), the sage of spirit, naburoo, a gerudo warrior who we meet through a rather confusing bit of time travel, and the sage of forest, saria! REMEMBER HER?!?!?!

so now link has the sages, which gives him the power to go and kill ganon. he's gearing up to go stab him when sheik pops up.

'hi link!' they say. 'so you know how i said i was sheikah? i lied! i'm actually princess zelda, the seventh sage!'

link is like, holy shit my bestie is not, in fact, a ninja but instead royalty! and almost as soon as he says that, ganon shows up and gives this monologue that’s basically just, 'i knew the princess would show herself if i watched you long enough. guess i was right!' and kidnaps sheik/zelda. link goes off after him, they fight. link wins! ganon turns into a giant evil pig! link wins!! zelda and the sages are saved. zelda tells him that she's sorry that he lost his childhood to this, so with the ocarina of time she sends him back 7 years. Back at the start of the game, link tells the king what he knows, ganondorf is arrested before he can take over the world, and life is good (is it tho? is it really?). navi, link's beloved fairy, vanishes, and his heart is broken. story ends w a deeply traumatized child, the end.

but is it the end? is it? is it really? no, no it is not <3 when link did all that time travel he caused a three way timeline split: the child timeline, the adult timeline, and the defeated timeline. it gets even more complicated from here, buckle up!

CHILD TIMELINE

the timeline here starts when adult link returns to the begging of oot to get ganon arrested. hyrule is saved before it can be taken over, and link is 10 again with a shit load of trauma and no therapist <3

Majora's Mask

considered the darkest zelda game out there, and so stressful that i have never actually played it and just watched lets plays, majora's mask takes place immediately after ocarina of time. like 3 days after. link is a depressed and traumatized ten years old having had to spend the past few months as a fully developed 17 year old (or as developed as a teen can get), which is fucking with his sense of self, on top of that, navi has disappeared. he decides he's going to find her, takes the ocarina of time and this horse, epona, and goes off into the world to find his fairy.

While he’s riding through the woods his horse is spooked by two fairies: tatl and tael, who are siblings and work with skull kid. Link is thrown off the horse and knocked out for a bit. Out of the shadows comes said skull kid— skull kids are a race of mischievous child spirits from the forest, but this particular skull kid has an attitude. He begins going through link’s stuff, intending to rob him. One notable feature of skull kid is his mask; he has this really creepy mask he wears called the majora’s mask (name drop!!). The mask is actually magic! It houses the spirit majora, a evil spirit hellbent on destruction that was sealed in there by a tribe of evil sorcerers. By wearing it, skull kid has been given magic powers but has also become steadily corrupted. By the end of the game he isn’t even a conscious person anymore, just a vessel for majora. Basically, he was a little shit throughout the game but it wasn’t really his fault.

So anyways, link is knocked out and skull kid is going through his stuff. He finds the ocarina of time and begins messing with it when link wakes up; link tries to grab it but skull kid steals his horse and books it. Link takes off in pursuit. they end up meeting up underground in front of a giant door; skull kid tells link he disposed of epona ( D: ) and makes fun of him when link is obviously upset, and then turns link into a deku sprout, a small wooden plant creature. skull kid bolts, but tatl gets left behind. she and link go through the door, which they find out lead underneath clock town, the capital of termina, the country link has found himself in. there, they meet a very creepy man w a very large backpack: the happy mask salesman, who hits them with one of the game's iconic quotes 'you've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?'

the salesman tells link that skull kid stole the mask from him and that if link got it back for him he would show him how to turn back to normal, but that link only had three days. he was leaving in three days, he needed it back in three days. okay we've established how important the three days are, and thats bc skull kid is going to make the FUCKING MOON fall and destroy termina in three days <3 so link is on a race against time to stop him.

link does not manage to stop him. he gets to the top of the clock tower where skull kid is and recovers his ocarina, but he's unable to stop majora. tael (remember him?) tells them to find the four giants. only they can stop majora. link plays the song of time, which turns back time. he's able to turn himself back into a human with the song of healing, which heals souls, turning the spirit of the deku scrub inside him into a mask he can use to turn into one at will.

determined to save termina, link goes to find all four giants, saving townsfolk and completing sidequests along the way. as he helps people he gains masks, which help him in different ways with their magic. he heals the souls of two other people, a zora named mikau, which gives him the zora mask, allowing him to turn into a zora, and a goron named darmani, which gets him a mask that... lets him turn into a goron. he finds his horse and fights some baddies. the giants are freed. on the final three day cycle he goes to the top of the clock tower to face majora. majora flees to the inside of the moon when the giants stop it from falling and link follows. he finds a field filled with a handful of children playing. through playing with them, he eventually gains the fierce deity mask, which houses the soul of a war god. with it, ke kills majora, fixes the moon, frees skull kid, and saves the day.

he wanders into the distance, and no one ever hears from link again-- alive.

(the fierce deity (right) and majora (left), drawn by cynthia leman @ https://cynthia_leman.artstation.com/)

Twilight Princess

We're back in hyrule! bye bye termina! it's been a while since oot and hyule is at peace. nowhere is it more peaceful than ordon village. there lives a teen named link who works with the goat ranch, babysits the local children, Beth, Malo, Talo, and Colin (his favorite (shh dont tell anyone)) enjoys fishing, slingshots, and the occasional spar with his friends. life is good and everything is perfect <3

one night, his father figure rusl asks him to deliver a sword to castle town. link agrees, and the next day as he's getting ready the children of the village noticed a monkey and chase after it. link follows, bc he is the resident baby sitter and has to keep the kids safe. he finds the kids being attacked by monsters-- a sign that the peace in hyrule is starting to fade. he goes and does his goat job with his horsie epona and him, colin, and his bestie ilia chill at a spring afterwords. all is well until....... MONSTERS! they attack, kidnap colin and ilia, and when link persues he finds a giant wall of black magic. he is pulled in by a shadow beast, who tries to kill him, only for his hand to glow, beating off the beast with holy power. it's the..... triforce of courage!! link has it!! anways, the world he is in now is covered with a magic called twilight that reduces life forms from the light realm, like link, into shadows of themselves/ghosts/etc. but bc of the triforce, link just turns into a wolf. he's a dirty furry.

link wakes up in a cell in castle town, close to the hyrule castle, and a very mean twilight imp named midna promises to help him escape and free his friends if he helps her in return.

(our beloved furry boy and his mean imp friend)

midna helps link escape and leads him into the castle where he meets princess zelda. zelda explains that hyrule has been invaded by zant, the usurper king of the twilight realm, who promised to let her people live if she surrendered hyrule to him. knowing her army was no match for the twlight one and desperate to protect her people, she surrenders, becoming a prisoner in her own castle forced to watch her kingdom succumb to the twilight magic and its effects.

midna helps link return to the world of light, or the area of hyrule not yet invaded by twilight magic and twilight monsters, and tells him he has to get her a sword and shield so she can start her quest. they go to ordon, link still trapped in wolf form, and go hunting for swords and sheilds. before he can leave, he finds Ordona, the spirit of the ordon region and one of the four light spirits that watch over hyrule. ordona begs him to free the light spirits corrupted by the twilight and says that only he can defeat zant and bring back the light. bc ya know. triforce. link finds and frees faron, a second spirit, and she transforms him back into a human, telling him he holds the spirit of the hero and was chosen by the gods, making him the one most qualified to save the world. lots of people r telling link to save the world. i think he gets the hint guys.

midna tells link that they need the fused shadows, a form of very dark, very dangerous twilight magic, to kill zant. gee, you might ask, midna, why are you helping? you're not very nice, you don't like the light world, you talk abt how much better twilight is-- why are you invested? why do you have zant? what's in it for you? Those are all very good questions but we aren't there yet!

so midna and link go and find the fused shadows. they make a pit stop in kakariko village, and find the kiddos from ordon, including colin! he's safe!! that's one friend found, one to go. link gets a shadow, then goes to castle town in search of clues for the next shadow, and finds ilia instead! wooh!! all our friends are back!! she's got no memory but w/e that gets fixed eventually. link saves the zora and gets another shadow, and in the process meets the spirit lanayru, the final light spirit.

lanayru tells link abt the interlopers, a tribe of shadow people with powerful magic that tried to invade and control the sacred realm. the goddessses sealed them away from the world of light, which became the twilight realm, and took their magic to make the fused shadows. she warns link of how addicting the shadows are, and link and midna finally have what they need.

midna and link set out to find zant, but he finds them first. he steals the shadows (uh oh), critically injures midna ( Uh Oh) and curses link with a shadow crystal that will permanently turn him into a wolf (UH OH). midna is literally dying, and link is panicing. knowing that zelda knows strong light magic, he runs to the castle in hopes the princess can save midna and break the curse. zelda cannot break the curse, even with the triforce of wisdom-- it is too dark, and only the master sword (!!!) which repels all evil will be able to purge the twilight from his body. she then gives up her spirit to midna, saving midna but losing her soul in the process. zelda really just died to save her. honey that's gay.

link and midna find the master sword, saving link and allowing him to transform at will like the furry he is. they need to track zant down for a rematch, but link doesnt know where to go. thankfully, midna does! she tells him of the mirror of twilight, which is used to go between the light realm and the twilight realm, and which zant used to reach hyrule. she him that the power he has been using is diffrent than twilight magic, something she's never seen before. how does she know what twilight magic looks like? how does she know what zant's magic looks like?

midna tells link that is the princess of the twilight realm-- the twilight princess, you could say (name drop!!). she is the rightful holder of the crown of the twilight realm and holds claim to a great amount of hereditary twilight magic, but zant wanted the throne. he thought he deserved it, and was bitter that she gained it instead of him. he cursed her into her imp from with strange new magic he had gotten from his 'master'. ill let you guess who that is. hint: his name starts with a g and ends in orf.

they go to where the mirror is and find it shattered into four pieces by zant. there they also find the ghosts of the ancient sages, who tell minda that zants power is coming from ganondorf. wow who would have guessed!

back in oot, when link told the king what ganondorf was planning and ganon was arrested, he was ordered to be put to death. his execution was carried out by these sages, but what they didn't know was that ganon held the triforce of power. with its magic he broke free and began killing the sages. desperate, they opened the mirror to the twilight realm and shoved ganon in, closing it behind him. for this current link, it has been ages since the hero of time. for ganon, it has been weeks. Now link and midna have bigger fish to fry than zant: they need to get the mirror pieces, get to the twilight realm, and kill ganon.

speaking of oot link! remember how i mentioned no one ever saw him again, alive? that's bc someone saw him while he was dead! through his adventure, this current link was being tutored by the hero's shade, the ghost of a mighty adventurer who teaches him how to fight and be courageous. this shade was oot link! he was appearing to tp link not only bc he was a hero chosen by the gods, but also because he was a descendent of oot link! somewhere during his lifetime post-termina, oot link got it on and centuries later tp link popped out. family reunion w grandpa and great-great-great-great grandson <3

okay back to the adventure plot. link and midna get the shards after a lot of shenanigans, including an entire dungeon based on making soup for a yeti, and they are ready to fight! they go to zant's castle in th twilight realm and midna fuckin explodes him with the fused shadow, then they turn around and go to hyrule castle to kill ganon. there they do not find ganon, but they do find zelda's corpse :D ganon possesses her and they fight. link wins, zelda's alive again, and he beats the shit outta ganon with they help of some light arrows. the world is saved and midna's curse is broken. she returns to the twilight realm and smashes the mirror, keeping any further contact severed.

DOWNFALL TIMELINE

so we remember ocarina of time link, right? cute little ten year old, has a fairy, was horribly traumatized over two adventures, whose life sucked in general?

yeah he's dead. fuckin dead.

the downfall timeline is one of the three timeline splits caused by oot. we just finished the child timeline, and this timeline happens when link fails to kill ganon. after ganon takes the triforce, when link is 17, he kills link in the final battle. the world falls into ruin. the apocalypse occurs. everything sucks and poor link is fucking dead.

having killed link, ganon is able to steal the triforce of courage, and with that and the triforce of power, takes the triforce of wisdom from zelda. he has the entire triforce, making him nearly invincible and holding ultimate, unlimited power. in a final act of desperation, zelda and the six sages seal him in the sacred realm, destroying it in the process. this holy place of dwelling for the gods becomes corrupted, becoming the dark world.

For a moment, there was peace. with ganon gone, the land of hyrule began to rebuild. but it did not last long and the imprisoning wars began. having heard of the triforce's dwelling place in the sacred realm, hundreds flocked to the sacred realm, trying to steal the holy power for themselves. people came in, demons and monsters came out, and no one ever returned. the sages decided to destroy the entrance to the sacred realm instead of just sealing it, cutting hyrule off entirely from the holy triforce, causing increasing ruin to the land. Hyrule was in shambles, impoverished and broken, and many, many years passed with the memory of a prosperous hyrule being left to time.

A Link To The Past

it is raining. storming, actually, pouring in the middle of the night with thunder shaking the earth. link, a young boy (with pink hair <3) is woken from his dreams by a strange voice. It's a girl, around his age, who says her name is princess zelda and that the wizard agahnim had imprisoned her below the castle. He's kidnapped the seven sages, a group of holy women, and now planned to take her too, hoping to break open the doors to the sacred realm and break the seal on ganon so they could rule both the light and dark world's together.

link knew he had to help. despite the late hour, his beloved uncle is putting his cloak on. he tells link that he would be back shortly and to go back to sleep.

link does not go back to sleep. armed with nothing but his wits and a lantern, link found his way to the castle dungeon, stumbling over his dying uncle. the man gives him his sword and shield before passing away. link is completely on his own. he frees the princess and takes her to a holy sanctuary, and goes out to find the pendants of virtue so that he might draw the master sword (!!!) and defeat agahnim. he does so, and rushes to defeat the wizard, only to see he has found zelda. link watches in horror as he sends her to the dark word; link defeats agahnim, but with the last of his strength the wizard sends out a mind-warping curse to convince all of hyrule that it was link who harmed zelda, and throws link into the dark world....

....where he turns into a bunny.

(seriously. that's link the pink bunny)

Link finds a magic mirror that lets him leave the dark world at will to rescue the sages, but can only stay human with the help of his moon pearl. Link finds agahnim was just a vessel for ganon, and the two fight. link wins! yey!! He finds the triforce among ganon's dead corpse (i guess?) and uses it to wish hyrule into prosperity again. he returns it to the royal family, and we go to...

Link's Awakening

post alttp, link has decided he needs a vacation. While sailing, his boat is ripped apart by a hurricane and he wakes up on the beaches of Koholint, a tropical island that's like something out of a dream. link meets Marin, and the two become fast friends. it's implied that it might be a bit more than that, but regardless they are very, very close. marin is a beautiful singer and teaches link all about the island she tells him that she dreams of turning into seagull and flying away to be free from koholint.

link learns the only way to leave koholint is to collect the instruments of the sirens and wake the wind fish, a mystical creature that slept in an egg ontop of the tallest mountain. link does so, but learns that the island and everything in it, including marin, was just the fish's dream, and that by waking it the island will fade away. link wakes the fish and wakes up in his wrecked ship, all alone.

Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons

Link's back! And so is ganon! Twinrova, two witches that raised ganon, decide they want their baby back. For this they need three flames to be lit: The Flame of Destruction, the Flame of Sorrow, and the Flame of Despair, and follow these with a human sacrifice. Fun!! In order to obtain these flames, the witches sent General Onox to Holodrum and Veran, to Labrynna, two countries near hyrule. One day, when Link visited Hyrule Castle, the Triforce beckoned him into its chamber. Remember, link saved the triforce so it's just chillin now. Once he placed his hands on the Triforce, bc i guess he has triforce touching privliges after saving it, it transported him to the distant land of Holodrum. That's a stupid fucking name but w/e.

Upon awakening in Holodrum, Link finds some road side performers and a dancer, Din. Which is suspiciously close to the name of the goddess Din, buuuut nintendo never goes anywhere with that. Link danced with Din, but then a whirlwind appeared and snatched Din away! i feel like we've seen 'important girl being snatched by storm' before but w/e. Din was actually the Oracle of Seasons, which isn't really explained BUT it means that with her gone, the seasons in Holodrum are thrown into chaos. The only way to restore balance to the seasons was to collect the eight Essences of Nature scattered around Holodrum. Link gets the rod of seasons, which manipulates the seasons (obviously) and gets what he needs. He defetes Onox and rescues Din, and then in transported to Labrynna! But uh oh, the Flame of Destruction is still lit.

So link's in labrynna now. He finds impa, and is like 'holy shit! impa! long time no see!' and they team up. they find nayru (more goddess name!?!) and impa turns into a shadow and possesses Nayru. turns out she was an illusion from Veran. Veran uses nayru's time travel abilities to go back in time and influence the queen to build the black tower. Link uese the Harp of Ages to travel back and forth between the present and the past in order to collect the eight Essences of Time and challenge Veran atop the black towner. he kills her, but the Flame of Sorrow had been lit.

In order to light the third and final flame, and also have their human sacrifice, twinrova kidnapped zelda who had arrived in Labrynna. This would complete their dark ritual and light the Flame of Despair. but link beats the shit outta then, and as a last-ditch effort to complete the sacrifice, they give their bodies to ganon. but unfortunatly for them, because the ritual was incomplete, Ganon returned as a mindless beast and not their beloved lil boy. Link beats the shit outta ganon and seals him away (why are we sealing and not killing??), restoring peace to Holodrum and Labrynna

the end!

The Triforce Separates

oh noooo, more triforce problems. @ the gods did you ever consider that maybe the triforce was a bad idea? so after link's adventures in holodrum and labrynna, the triforce is split apart, which it is like 90% of the time at this point. ganon, despite being sealed away, still has the triforce of power. the triforce of courage's location is unknown, but most likely link hid it bc he's sick and tired of triforce shenanigans

A Link Between Worlds

so we are finally, finally dealing w a new time. centuries have passed, the triforce of courage is still missing, and link is sleeping in. he is a blacksmith apprentice, and the son of the blacksmith he works for drags him outta bed. link is told to deliver a sword to the captain of the guard, and finds him in the sanctuary-- dead. the keeper of the sanctuary, Seres, turns out to be a sage (we have a lot of sages in this series okay) and is turned into a painting by the sorcerer Yuga. link gets the shit beat out of him and wakes up in his house. he has been saved by ravio, a merchant who always hides his face and is also a lil shit. he rents link items in exchange for letting him crash on the couch, and also gives him a strange bracelet as thanks.

link goes and tells princess zelda and her friend impa abt seres. she gives link a charm, which turns out to be one of the three he needs to unlock the master sword (!!!!!!!!!). yuga captures the rest of the sages and zelda, turning them to paintings, and when link gets too close to winning, turns him into one too! the bracelet that ravio gave him began to glow and pulled link out of the wall. he can now turn into a painting at will. Link goes to confront yuga in a final battle.

turns out, yuga is from lorule, a parallel universe similar to the dark world. he frees ganon but cannot control him, turning into a beast. the princess of lorule, hilda, holds him back and tells link to save the sages, who have been sent to lorule. in doing so, link awakens the triforce of courage. he returns to confront ganon and learns that hilda was behind it the whole time!! the leaders of her land destroyed their triforce, hoping to stop the wars it caused, but only ended up destroying the kingdom in the process. hilda hoped to steal the hyrulian triforce to replace their own. right before she can attack, ravio appears! he was the hero counterpart of lorule, just like link was to hyrule, but knew he could never beat yuga, instead going to hyrule to find a hero who could, link. he talks hylia down and the day is saved without violence. link and zelda wish on their triforce for lorule's triforce to be restored, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Triforce Heros

Fashion break! This game is silly and cute and I love it.

(they're so fucking cute i cant handle it)

Link leaves the hyrule and books it to hytopia for a vacation. There he is recruited by the witch-hunting brigade to defeat the evil witch lady maud. The witch had cursed princess styla into wearing an irremovable brown jumpsuit. it is very ugly, and in fashion-forward hytopia, that is a fate worse than death.

Link teams up with two other heros, blue and red, that look just like him to gather the pieces of the lady's ensemble. they defeat maud and the witch's younger sister, madame mouture, assembles the outfit, which frees styla. yey!! back to real games

The Golden Era and Era of Decline

*mr incredible voice* can the triforce not cause problems for TEN MINUTES???

following the recovery of the triforce in albw, hyrule enters the Golden Era. For a very long time, the hyrule flourishes.

the triforce is passed down from ruler to ruler, but the last such king, doubting his son's worthiness, hides the triforce of courage and, upon his death, casts a spell on hyrule such that a the triforce will only appear on day on a boy worthy of weilding it. the king tells zelda where it is, then dies.

the unworthy prince ascends to the throne. he only has the triforce of wisdom and power and desperately wants the full thing, so he questions zelda on where courage is. when she refuses to reveal her father's secret, the prince puts her under a spell of eternal sleep.f illed with regret, the new King places the princess on the altar in a far away castle.

the prince governs hyrule to the best of his ability, but without the power of the full triforce the kingdom falls into ruin. the life withers away, monsters become worse, it's a fucking mess. . The triforce of power and the triforce of wisdom continue to be passed down within the royal family. The existence of the triforce of courage is all but forgotten.

The Legend of Zelda (yes, THE legend of zelda. the first ever one <3)

Many, many years later, ganon has been freed. leading an army of monsters, he attacks the hyrulian royal family, led by princess zelda, a descendent of the sleepy time zelda, and takes the trifoce of power. knowing the destruction that will come if he gains more of the triforce, she splits the triforce of wisdom into pieces and scatters them through hyrule. zelda sends her nursemaid impa to find someone with the courage to defeat ganon, but impa is attacked after leaving the castle, only to be saved by a young child: link.

seeing true courage in him, impa tells him of the triforce and asks him to save hyrule, despite him being like. ten. hylia starts them young. Link collects the pieces of the triforce of wisdom from the eight dungons across the hyrule and then confronts ganon in death mountain. with the triforce of wisdom, the magical sword, and silver arrows he defeats ganon, and zelda declares link the hero of hyrule

The Adventure of Link

it's been a few years, and link is now 16. ganon is dead, but his monsters and followers remain. the follows in particular are a problem for link-- if they manage to get a hold of his blood and spill it on ganon's ashes, they can complete a spell that will resurrect ganon. link is on the run. life sucks. on his sixteenth birthday, a glowing golden triangle appears on link's hand (wow i wonder what that could be!?!?!). link goes to impa and zelda in hopes they knew what it is. impa uses him (literally. like sticks his body on the door) to open the chamber where the old zelda has been sleeping all these years. it's been like 100 years, i think??

impa tells link about the breaking of the triforce, the hiding of the triforce of courage, and zelda's curse. she entrusts him with six crystals and an ancient scroll written by the king who had hidden the triforce of courage all those years ago. link learns from reading the scroll that the triangle on his hand is the result of a spell cast by the king, marking him as worthy of the triforce of courage. now he just has to find it. the scroll indicates that the triforce of courage is located in the great palace. which is. a great palace. to enter Link must go to each of the six palaces in Hyrule, defeat the guardian defending it, and set one of the crystals in the heads of each of the statues located in the palaces. Impa gives link the triforces of power and wisdom, and tells him that by uniting the three pieces of the triforce, he can undo the spell cast on the sleeping zelda, and, most importantly, return prosperity to hyrule. a full triforce again willrestore the land.

link does what was told of him and, in a final trial at the great palace, defeats his own shadow, dark link, to obtain the triforce of courage.

link is now the only link ever who has held the full triforce, making him the strongest of the links. link returns to hyrule castle. The three pieces of the triforce unite before the altar and he sleeping zelda awakens. with the connected triforce, peace is returned to hyrule.

(link with the full triforce)

Aaaaand we're done with the downfall timeline! One more timeline left!

ADULT TIMELINE

in the adult timeline, we are once again back to oot. remember how link left the hyrule were he was 17 to return to the beginning of the game to stop ganon? well, that world didn't disappear when link left. it continued to heal and eventually prosper with ganon defeated. but slowly, in the years after oot, ganon had been building his strength. he attacked and the people of hyrule waited in desperation for the hero of time to appear-- but he never did. he was too busy in termina. so ganon took control of the world. the people prayed to the goddesses to save them, and in order to prevent ganon's conquest, the gods flooded hyrule, creating a vast sea, the Great Sea, and destroying everything in the process. hyrule was safe from ganon, but drowned below the waves. the triforce of wisdom was split into two, one piece staying with the king of hyrule, who drowned, and the other with princess zelda who barely escaped, and she passed it down throughout her family line. the triforce of courage vanished, and the kingdom of hyrule was forgotten over time, but the people of the islands of the great sea still remembered the barest of bones of the myths of that hyrule. they gifted their children with green clothes like the hero of time when they turned 12 in hopes it would remind them to be courageous always. and this is where out next story begins......

(art from the prologue of wind waker telling the story of the downfall of hyrule)

Wind Waker

link is having a nap on the watch tower of his island home. it is a special day: his birthday! His 12th birthday in fact! His grandma gifts him green clothes and his little sister, aryll, gives him her precious telescope as a gift. life is good until they see a giant fucking bird in the sky. i mean GIANT. plane giant. it's carrying away a young girl!! and being followed by a pirate ship! the ship manages to hit the bird, the helmaroc king, with a canonball, but that just makes the bird drop the girl somewhere into the forests of the island. Link grabs a sword and takes off for the forest, determined to save her.

the girl's name is tetra, and she's a pirate captain who did not need help, thank you very much!!! she and link start walking back to the mainland but are stopped by aryll on the way. link watches in horror as the helmaroc king snatches up his little sister, thinking she was tetra, and flies away.

link demands the pirates take him to save her, and they laugh in his face, only to get shamed by quill, a rito mailman. girls with goldren hair and long ears have been being kidnapped, and despite not looking like that, aryll was taken-- because the bird got her confused with tetra. so the kidnapping was her fault and the least she could do was help link save her. begrudgingly, tetra agrees and takes link to the forbidden fortress where the bird has taken up shop. link sneaks through the fortress and finds his sister, but before he can free her the bird snatches him up and takes him to its master- GANONDOF!!11! he has freed himself from the watery grave of hyrule and is now searching for the triforce that he might resurrect hyrule and take back the kingdom and the great sea. he orders the bird to throw link into the ocean to drown.

link gets chucked into the open sea, but does not drown! yey!! instead he's saved by a talking boat, the king of red lions.

the boat gives link the wind waker (title shout out!!), a baton (like w an orchestra) that can control the winds, and tells him that he can only defeat ganon with the master sword (!!!!). link needs three goddess pearls to access the tower of the gods, which will test if link is worthy to wield it. the first is din's pearl, which is with the dragon spirit valoo at dragon roost island, the home of the rito. the problem is, valoo has gone off the walls and is destroying everything. the rito prince komali has the peal but is terrified of valoo and refuses to give it to link unless he can prove he is worthy of it. link sets off to calm valoo alongside medli, valoo's attendant. together they stop the monster that has been harassing valoo and link receives the pearl.

next link and boat set off for forest haven, where we meet....... the deku tree!! or a descendent of the deku tree from oot. there we meet the koroks too! they are the descendants of the kokiri, and they are adorable.

the koroks say they will give him the peal after a ceremony they need to perform. but oh no, one of the koroks with an important part is missing! makar has gotten stuck in the forbidden woods and link has to find him. he does, returns him home safely, and gets the pearl.

next is great fish isle where the ocean spirit jabun, but when link + boat arrive the island has been destroyed and jabun is missing. ganon beat them there.

quill tells him that jabun has gone into hiding in a sealed cave near link's home, bc apparently postmen know everything. link learns that the pirates know of jabun's location, and are planning to take the pearl, thinking it was some kind of treasure. tetra buys link some time to get to the island and link manages to bomb his way in where he meets jabun. he gets the last peal and enters the tower of the gods. there he proves his worthiness and gets the master sword (!!!!)

he returns to the forbidden fortress, frees aryll, kills the giant bird, and confronts ganon. But the magic has left the sword, and it cannot defeat ganon. ganon attacks link, bc apparently a grown man is cool w murdering a 12 year old, but is stopped by valoo and tetra, who have come to save the day. Ganon grabs tetra and the triforce of power he holds begins to freak out-- it knows another triforce is close. Tetra is the descendant of princess zelda and holds the triforce of wisdom. valoo sets ganon's hideout on fire before he can hurt tetra and link and tetra flee.

Boat takes the two kids back to the tower of the gods where a portal has opened up to a castle beneath the waves-- hyrule castle. boat appears in the form of a man: he was the king of hyrule who took half of the triforce of wisdom. with tetra and his pieces she transforms into princess zelda (in which her skin is lightened bc nintendo cant get through one game w/o being racist) and told she has to remain below the sea for her own safety.

ganon killed the two sages who had been keeping the master sword powerful, back before the word got flooded. link + boat need to find their reincarnations in order to fix the master sword. thankfully, we've already met them! link gets makar and medli, they remember their past lives, and the master sword is fixed. link gets the hidden pieces of the triforce of courage and is officially ready to beat ganon's ass.

tetra was taken by ganon and link follows after, eventually fighting him with the help of tetra and some light arrows. Ganon assembles the full triforce, stealing wisdom and courage from the kids, and is ready to wish for hyrule to return so he may control it. however, boat is back as a man and gets to the triforce first, wishing that hyrule stay submerged and a new world might emerge from the ocean, promising prosperity for a new generation. ganon flips shit and attacks some 12 year olds. link finally beats him, stabbing him in the head with the master sword. link and tetra are returned to the surface as boat drowns and the world slowly begins anew.

Phantom Hourglass

Link is a pirate now! He's been traveling with tetra and doing fun pirate things. They are now searching for the ghost ship, and when they find it tetra tried to jump into it, only to violently disappear. Link tries to follow but is thrown overboard.

he wakes on an island and is nursed to health by the fairy ciela, who has amnesia, an old man named oshus. they agree to help link find tetra, and they enlist the help of the reluctant sailor linebeck and his ship after saving him from the temple of the ocean king. link discovers to get to the ghost ship they have to find the spirits of courage, wisdom, and power. they use items found in the temple of the ocean king, but things are getting increasingly dangerous. to overcome the evil forces in the temple, link must use the Sands of Hours within the phantom hourglass (name drop!!). however, using the sands slowly drains his life force (AHH) so he must utilize other creatures around the islands to prevent his life force from being drained. with the hourglass, link is able to locate the spirits of wisdom and power easily, but not the spirit of courge. They find out that spirit looks exactly like ciela. oshus explains that ciela is actually the spirit of courage and she lost her memory when the demon bellum attacked her. He also reveals that he is the ocean king. oshus further explains that he and ciela had to take their present forms to hide from the life-eating monster Bellum, who is the cause of the ghost ship and other evil in the local area, and has taken residence at the very depths of the temple. Link succeeds in his attempt to rescue tetra with the help of the three Spirits, but finds tetra is now a statue, a further effect of bellum's life-draining power.

link continues, with linebeck only agreeing after being promised by oshus that he would grant linebeck one wish with his fish god powers. link learns that the only way to defeat Bellum is to forge the phantom sword from three unique, pure metals around the local islands. after collecting the materials and forging the Phantom Sword, link descends to the bottom level of the temple, and initially appears to defeat Bellum. tetra is freed from the statue form and revived, but before the group can celebrate, Bellum reemerges from the ocean depths and takes Tetra again. ughhhh tetra pls. In the ensuing battle of the linebeck's ship and the ghost ship, linebeck's ship is lost, as well as oshus going missing, and link and tetra are captured. linebeck picks up the phantom sword and is able to free the two kids, at the cost of his own freedom, but is able to give link back the Phantom Sword before Bellum possesses Linebeck but link manages to kill bellum without harming linebeck.

the sand from the phantom hourglass is released into the sea. oshus, now in his true form of awhale, grants linebeck his ship back.tetra and link appear on the pirate ship, where it seems only ten minutes have passed for the rest of the crew and they insist that it was all a dream. BUT still possesses the now-empty hourglass, and spies linebeck's ship on the horizon, so we know the adventure is real.

Spirit Tracks

we're in the home stretch yall. the great sea is officially gone with land having risen from the sea over hundreds of years and creating a new continent and the newly established kingdom of new hyrule. this new land has new spirits, the spirits of good, who were responsable for sealing away a demon named malladus into the earth after a vicious war almost ripped new hyrule apart. malladus was shackled into the earth with train tracks called the spirit tracks (name drop!), which cover new hyrule. now we meet link!

link is an enginer, who meets princess zelda, a direct decentent of tetra, to be offically made a royal enginer. she asks him to meet her in private, as she is suspicious of the chancellor cole and trusts link to help her. link and zelda sneak out of the castle and meet up with alfonzo, link's mentor, who helps them steal a train and slip out to safety outside of castle town. However, the tracks disapear as they flee, causing the train to crash. They are stopped by cole and his right hand man, bryne (who i had a crush on as a kid)

bryne easily takes down alfonzo, despite alfonzo being one buff dude, and beats the shit outta link. loosing conciousness, link watches helplessly as bryne rips the soul out of zelda's body and takes the empty body with them. They send out demon trains, which disrupt the structure of the starting point of the spirit tracks, the tower of spirits, destroying the tacks.. cole and bryne leave, and link wakes up in the medical ward of the castle.

link finds that he can see zelda's spirit, but only he can. zelda gives him the spirit flute, a magical pan flute, and then asks link to take her to the tower of spirits to find out why the tracks disappeared. buuut the tracks are gone, so the only way to get to the tower now is by an old tunnel in the back of the castle.

link and zelda get to the tower and they meet an old woman named Anjean who is a lokomo, a guardian of the tracks. anjean says the only way to restore the tracks is with the rail maps, which will give tracks for four of the five temples across the land. but to do so requires power, which they need to get in the tower. the tower was protected by phantoms, giant armored creaters, but with the corruption of the spirit tracks they have been turned hostile. turns out, zelda can possess them, allowing safe passage in the tower.

link and zelda restore the tracks and figure out the last thing that they need to do to prevent malladus from resurrecting is to lock him back under the altar at the top of the spirit tower. link and zelda climb the tower only to find bryne, who they fight and defeat, only for him to escape to the top of the tower. link and zelda follow, only to see malladus' reseurection completed. malladus possesses zelda's body and turns on bryne. cole and malladus escape on the demon train to the dark realm.

anjean tells the kids the final way to destroy malladus. link must go to the fifth temple and obtain the bow of light, which has the power to split the soul of one from their body. link gets the bow and anjean then gives link the lokomo sword. he and zelda get to the dark realm and board the demon train. zelda possesses some phantom armor and uses it to help Link in the next battle. they climb on top of the train to find cole and malladus. link and zelda eventually reach the front of the train and zelda grabs malladus, giving link the opportunity to shoot him with the bow of light.

malladus' spirit leaves from zelda's body, giving her a chance to retrieve it. she cant at first bc she has been separated from her body for so long, and malladus is about to come back and possess zelda's body when byrne shows up and stops him. she finally gets her body back, but byrne bites the dust. malladus takes Cole's body, then turns into a beast, and link and zelda team up against in, and link beats the shit out of him, killing him.

INTERMISSION

im taking this time to talk abt hyrule warriors! it's not canon, so i wont go into detail, but if you wanna know more, you can go here

THE GREAT CALAMITY

10,000 Years Ago

It has been a long, long time since the hero of time. We don't know what timeline the Great Calamity is, but it has been at LEAST 10,000 years. a long time. remember the sheikah? they have become a technologically and magically advanced society with the power to do great, unimaginable things. the hyrulian royal family learns that calamity ganon, a form of ganon so overwhelmed by demise's curse and a lust for power that it has become a creature outside of sentience made of nothing but malice, rage, and hatred, is growing power and will soon attack. they turn to the sheikah, who create an army of robots call guardians to fight alongside the hyrulian army, and four giant machine called divine beasts controlled by champions that are capable of extreme destruction to help destroy ganon. all of this would be led by a chosen hero who carries the master sword (!!!) and a princess born with a holy power. with all of this, the hero and the princess defeated ganon and sealed him away. for 10,000 there was peace. but the royal family was paranoid. they were scared of sheikah power. so they gave the sheikah a choice: give up their tech and way of life, or die. Half gave up their culture and went on to be humble farmers and servants of the family, and half stood their ground. furious, they aligned themselves with the only thing that hated hyrulians as much as they did... ganon. they became the yiga class and went underground, plotting and planning, waiting for the day when ganon would rise again.

Breath of the Wild

your name is link-- or at least you think it is. you wake up in a dark room hooked up to a glowing machine, and a woman's voice tells you your name is link and you have to wake up. you find a few pieces of dirty, rotting clothes and most importantly, a strange piece of tech called a sheikah slate. you find the exit of the cave you've been slumbering in and the woman calls you the light that will save hyrule. your name is link and you have lost your memory and have been asleep for the past one hundred years.

one hundred years ago, there was a princess named zelda. her father, the king, heard from a soothsayer that ganon was gathering power and that the power to destroy it had been buried by time, waiting to be discovered. they unearthed the divine beasts and called for champions to pilot them. vah ruta would be manned by the zora princess, mipha. vah rudania would be manned by the gonon warrior daruk. vah medo would be manned by the famed rito archer revali. and vah natorus would be manned by the gerudo chief, urbosa. link, having pulled the master sword (!!!) proving himself a worthy fighter, was given the role of the hero, leaving zelda to fill the role of the holy princess. the problem? she couldn't access her golden power.

link was assigned as zelda's personal body guard, and she resented him for how easy his life seemed to be, having already drawn the master sword. the resentment turned to hate, mostly stemming from zelda's own self loathing. for some reason, she couldnt harness her power. everyone around her was ready for ganon and she couldn't harness her birthright. eventually, after link saved her life from the yiga, her and link became close, close friends. things were going as well as they could be, until ganon awoke.

ganon was prepared. it remembered how the hylians defeated it the first time and was determined not to fail again. it possessed the guardians, turning them against the army, and then the divine beasts, slaughtering the champions inside. link and zelda were on the run, link gravely injured from protecting her until they were cornered by guardians. there was nowhere to run. Link prepared for his last stand, knowing he was going to die here, only for zelda to push him out of the way, shielding his body with her own. a golden light shown from her-- the golden power.

(link (left) being wounded and shit and zelda (right) being a BADASS)

She destroyed the guardians around them with it, but it was too late. link collapsed, dead. as zelda held him in her arms, the master sword spoke to her, telling her of the shrine of resurrection where she could place him, which would save his life and rob him of his memories. zelda sent soldiers to the shrine with link's body and went to face ganon alone, holding it in place in hyrule castle for 100 years while she waited for link to wake up.

sooo flashback over, link is awake. he goes to kakarko village where he meets impa, who tells him to free the souls of the champions so that they can regain control of the divine beasts. he does so, growing in strength as he does. he finds and draws the master sword, slowly recovering his memories over time. he fights and defeats the yiga, he saves villages and lives and then is ready to defeat ganon. he goes to hyrule castle and beats the shit outta it, and when it flees to hyrule field, follows. it turns into a massive pig, dark beast ganon, and with the bow of light, link defeats it. zelda seals it away with her power and the two are reunited. the end!

THATS ALL FOLKS!

while this isnt absolutely everything, it is most of it! i hope yall enjoyed, i had so much fun putting everything together xoxo

#long post #legend of zelda

[kuroimarzipan]

scattered thoughts about patch 6.1 including msq and alliance raid

i cant believe tataru made a hyur sized outfit and expected me to put it on. also i lowkey wish that tataru had made a single outfit piece that’s suited any of my characters bc i feel bad not putting it on after she gives it to me but. tataru please

i do like that she n the wol just hang out sometimes tho. thats all i want

every time i stand next to estinien i say to myself “happy manlet monday” even tho he’s like 6′7″ or sth ridiculous

this game is always finding ways to stop krile from seeing combat. let her go apeshit just once i know she can do conjury let her do the blood lily or whatever it is that whm do idk ive only got it at lv 64 on sandrine

graha rlly gonna nut the second i ask him if he wanna go for walkies?? cmon man

yshtola asleep in the pile of books was so cute like. yshtola fans ate well this patch fr

yshtola misses runar.... she misses her house husband.... ok u know what like. i know that runar is very unpopular for various reasons but i liked him and i think that they were cute together and i hope she gets to see him again and he can make her some soup

cant believe niuwyb gets to go on an adventure with three of her lovers.... and graha is there too. cockblocked once more

urianger is so cute

i forgot i modded thancred’s ugly facial hair from hw back on and got jumpscared

btw after niuwyb sees thancred here he spends the rest of the time with roeh because he’s been dogging his drinking buddy since hw and she’s gonna make him do body shots now. i think its time for the return of thotcred. i want him and roeh to thot it up in taverns together again like only the best of bros can

when estinien said he wished the first boss of the dungeon was a squid. hes just like me fr

my friend warned me not to wall-to-wall pull just after the second boss so i did it just to see if i could and i could. warrior power. the thrill i get making urianger heal me thru the worst of shit

i think itll be rlly interesting to go into void stuff. im glad we’re like. addressing lil bits and pieces that havent been fully explored yet. i hope we address gridania’s racism eventually

vrtra is such a fucking sweetheart. fr. also sorry about that one time we broke into your secret dragon hoard that one time. we were gonna do the same thing with it that you were gonna i prommy

i made a separate post about this but i think that yshtola and nidhana should hold hands. my headcanon relationship chart grows more tangled by the day drawing it up would be nigh impossible

forreal i loved yshtola’s goofy lil summoning spell. that was so cute i really love when they have her be competent and cool and also an embarrassingly goofy nerd at the same time. charm point

nidhana is soooo cute. i love her i want the best for her

estinien rlly be like whatever. bye. and then goes and tells everyone whats going on and gets them to come convince vrtra. worlds biggest softie that goes about things in the most awkward and clumsy of ways

also hes actually rlly good with kids lmao

i rlly hope we can save this dragon

as for the alliance raid uhhhh im gonna need to practice it

but nald’thal had the best design of this first set

im glad it was a fake out bc if they made the twelve evil for no reason i woulda rolled my eyes big time

rlly excited to see llymlaen cause that’s roeh’s guardian

azeyma was technically niuwyb’s but on account of not having any memories she wasnt exactly devout so.

anyway im gonna have to think about what my other characters were doing but im glad to be able to immediately place roeh for the first time in a while even if shes just goofing off with thancred. their friendship is important to meeee

ok i have to get up in five hrs for work send help

#roe #niuwyb #6.1 spoilers

[ragnvindrbrainrot]

"You're Mine."

Character: Childe

Request: Yeah from my own horny brain 😩

Warnings: Softcore Yandere, 18+ themes, violence ig? bondage, knife play, sadomasochism, mention of master/server kink, slight degradation?

Words: 1.2k of pure thirstiness babey

okay first of all Childe is devoted to his partner regardless of being yandere so jot that down real quick

normally when Childe is interested in someone he wont mind playfully reciprocating when a stranger is flirting with him in an attemp to make his interest jealous

however with you the idea that Childe could give the impression of not wanting you? of not needing you? that he doesn't have you on his mind and your name on the tip of his tongue every waking moment his job forces him away from you?

he'd literally rather die lmao

Childe kind of,,,, he's like a dog lol has to make sure people know what's his

before he starts charming you if someone's checking you out the moment you turn away from Childe that man is slinging an arm over your shoulders and playing up his cheerful carefree act

but don't be mistaken. under that smile is a scorching glare directed at anyone who even dares to look at you in a way he deems "rude", or "lusty" which could be anything from admiring the way sunlight catches on your hair to having the gall to not notice your beauty 🥴

and if someone dares to flirt with you? it doesn't matter if he's not there when they do. after all as a harbinger its not like the fatui lackeys are going to question his orders to watch over you and report any, shall we say, discrepancies then well. he'll just have to handle it won't he?

not to mention archons forbid the flirter makes you uncomfortable, some things Childe has learned while working for the fatui are suddenly a lot more useful

anyway,,, moving on to what we're all here for lol

Childe might come off as careless and harsh, perhaps even sometimes dismissive in certain scenarios (bro u aint ever paying for a single thing again in ur entire life if he can help it💀) but when the night rolls in? and its just the two of you with no one around to report his "weakness" to the tsaritsa?

oh he worships you

he has all manner of things he wants to say and do to you but most of all the things Childe needs most is you in pleasure, anything you want, anything you ask for as long as it doesn't let another see you coming undone Childe gives it to you without a second thought

okay so some specific ones that made me really go 🥴 and commit to typing this up haha

bondage. thats it thats the hc (jk jk)

silk ropes, handcuffs, spread bars, hell even his scarf, no especially his scarf Childe is always breathless at the sight of you tied up and at his mercy

the knowledge that it's only him that gets to see you like this? that you, with how strong you are don't hesitate to give complete and utter control over to him simply because you trust him to take care of you? ooohhhh it sends shivers down his spine

he lavishes you with kisses up and down and up and down your torso leaving little nibbles and hickeys wherever he wants and feeling his chest fill with pride at the way your whimpers and moans echo around the room

also im not saying hes a sadomasochist but hes absolutely a sadomasochist haha

his madochist side refuses to let himself cum until you have at least twice and even then Childe is still more focused on giving you pleasure then taking it for himself

throw back to that point that he'd give you anything you ask? ask to dominate him and pretty please tie me up, choke me, use me in whichever way you as long as he's blessed with the sight of you in the throes of pleasure his master/mistress

okay moving on to sadist Childe don't mind if i do mmMmMmm 🥴🥴🥴

ask him to be rough with you and you might have to pray to the nearest archon for oxygen because it makes him so excited he kisses you quite literally breathless

just look okay the idea of you letting Childe be rough with you, tugging you around by ropes or his scarf, pulling on your hair to remind you to keep your eyes open so he can see the way they roll back into your skull when he brings you over the edge

he loves the fact you like the marks he leaves all over you and how you can get shy when people gossip about your hickeys

choking? fuck man he choked on air when you brought it up 🥴 the fact that you're willing to put your life in his hands? in the most literal sense of the words while being so intimate gives him a hard on so painfull he thinks he might just cum on the spot

pushes you down on the bed, one hand around your neck the other in your hair tugging it every time he sees your eyes flutter shut, and as he thrusts harshly into you he whispers every filthly thought that pops into his head

"you're mine, only mine sweetheart"

"mine to use, mine to love, mine to wreck"

"only I get to see you like this, tied up and begging with tears in your eyes as i make you cum over and over and over again"

"they can dream all they like but at the end of the day you belong to me, your heart, your mind, your body, your pleasure, its all mine. isn't it, darling?"

"next time someone dares to flirt with what's mine, I might just have to show them, though of course then i'd have to kill them after all haha!"

okay so moving on to a unpopular kink of mine i just KNOW Childe would moan to think about 🥴

knife play baby and since he can make daggers w his vision lets just combine the two to make knife+vision play

loves the heady feeling he gets at seeing blood beading at the light cuts he skims across youre skin, but don't worry Childe will follow his hydro blades with his tongue pushing down and dragging it along the cut loving how it makes you squirm and whine in a beautiful mix of pleasure and pain

also aftercare with this man? prepare to be treated like a god/goddess

need a drink? of course! feeling hungry darling? why just tell him what you want to eat and Childe will get it right away

on top of that if you want a shower but don't have the energy to stand up don't worry Childe will carry there and wash away all the sweat and cum from your session

Childe will run you a shallow bath after washing the grime away, warm water and bath salts to soothe any aches and leave you to soak while he cleans up the bed, changing the sheets swapping the blanket and picking out clothes for you to sleep in (one of his shirts of course 🥴)

after all that he comes back and slides into the bath behind you, peppering soft kisses to your neck and shoulders all the while whispering praises about how wonderful you are, how much he loves you, the fact you make him feel whole in a way he didn't know he was lacking

unsurprisingly you probably fall asleep in the bath to his sweet praises, but thats okay : ) Childe will drain the bath and dry you off softly and put your sleeping clothes on before carrying you to bed where he wraps you up into his arms and blankets

the next morning you wake up to a lingering kiss, hooded eyelids and the smell of breakfast as Childe spends the few minutes he has left before leaving for work looking after your wellbeing

#simp hours #yan hours #childe #tartaglia #liyue #hcs

[ecoamerica]

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[bronanlynch]

i also wanna know how u feel about clem lmao

warning for spoilers for all of partizan

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: I love terrible women, she’s a delight and jack always sounds like they’re having so much fun, her storyline was narratively and thematically very satisfying Imo but I’m still. sad

All the people I ship romantically with this character: gucci.... can’t believe austin was too much of a coward to make cucci canon

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I also have feelings abt her interactions w sovereign immunity

My unpopular opinion about this character: Idk I think most ppl I’ve seen are in generally the same boat of. she’s kind of awful but also tragic? something something nuance something I love her but wow she’s a war criminal huh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: kiss gucci!!!! please let her kiss her rival please!!!! also I did kinda want a final confrontation between her and crysanth tbh

my OTP: clem/gucci...... I’ve written a significant percentage of the fic in that tag I’m not about to stop now

my cross over ship: not romo and also not to be super on my bullshit but I think that she and cass + sokrates from counter/weight would have some things to talk about

a headcanon fact: you know how she gave gucci nail polish? I think gucci still has it, and she only ever wears it on very specific occasions bc she doesn’t want to run out. less about clem and more abt gucci mourning her but. I have Feelings and Emotions abt this ship, is the thing,

#thanks! #answered #dreaming.txt #. #.. #partizan #friends at the table #girlfriendsofthegalaxy

[verannaca]

so I saw Frozen 2 for the fourth time

i have so many questions.

there’s a relatively negative (and very long) review beneath the cut so pls read at your own risk. and, of course, spoilers.

I’ve seen Frozen 2 four times now and yikes. I’d kinda hoped it would get better with each viewing, but it’s somehow worse??? I really loved the first movie; it literally changed my life in an incredibly drastic way (don’t ask) but it had been very important to me over the past six years, and...I’m so disappointed.

My initial reaction was disappointment, and I should’ve stuck with it. Like, wtf was that? But some parts were also really well done? It left me so conflicted lol

PROS

Vuelie was a good way to open the film; I quite liked the nostalgia :’)

The intro scene in general was good; I liked seeing more of their parents, although idk what their father was thinking telling them such a tale before bed lmao seems like some shit my mother would do

All is Found is my favourite non-depressing song in the movie, and it opens it beautifully. ERW has a wonderful voice.

The animation really is beautiful; it looks so realistic. Specifically the clouds and the one scene of the waves crashing over the pine trees. It looked amazing!

The music is good but not great. FTFTIF is my favourite; it’s so catchy and cheery. I really liked TNRT, and SY is perfect, but these songs just weren’t as catchy as the ones in Frozen?? I’m thankful for AURORA tho, that was a lovely gift.

Bruni was absolutely adorable (even tho he was an obvious cash-grab for merch lol), 10/10 love Bruni. Bruni + Elsa = even better.

Anna looked absolutely breathtaking throughout the entire movie; the redesign they did animation-wise really works in her favour, and now she’s rocking those Emilia Clarke eyebrows which is a hell yes from me. Her final look gave me all the feels; I can’t say I’m a huge fan of the dress and hairstyle?? it seemed a bit too not Anna, but at the same time, it showed her growth and maturity and I’m very happy with that.

As dark as it was, the shipwreck scene was beautiful. It was handled beautifully; their reactions were devastating. There is a huge con here, but I’ll save that for later.

The ocean battle was really neat. The water looked so good, and Elsa looks good wet???

The whole scene in Ahtohallan was well done; I liked the memories. I wish Anna had been there; she deserved to see her history, too, and it wasn’t fair that Elsa got that spotlight once again.

Everything after Elsa freezing was absolutely breathtaking as well. Anna’s reactions, the song, the scenery-- it was tragically beautiful.

Kristoff had the two best lines in the ENTIRE movie: “I’m here. What do you need?” and “It’s okay. My love is not fragile.” It’s so rare to see a good, supportive relationship in tv/movies, be it heterosexual or homosexual, it doesn’t happen. It’s so rare. So this was a beautiful break from that; the faith he had in her was amazing. Thank u. the real mvp.

The scene with Anna as she accepts the fate of her future; as she takes in a breath and realises/accepts that her home is gone, and her blood family is gone. Everything about it was perfect. You could feel her emptiness. Poor baby needed a hug :(

I liked that Kristoff also hugged Elsa when she returned; it showed that they were friends, which is really important for Anna tbh

I think that’s it for pros??? Now for the cons.

CONS:

Gonna start this off simple: the plot was weak. This is unfortunately not an unpopular opinion; it made no sense. It was too convoluted to the point where nothing was explained.

The pacing was off, and it was ridiculously anti-climactic. The layout in general seemed a bit weird tbh I could definitely sit here and justify all of it, but I shouldn’t have to.

They gave us no reason to gaf about this voice that Elsa was hearing. How long had she been hearing it for? Why was she so drawn to it? Why didn’t she think she was just hearing things? Or maybe she did at one point and then realised she wasn’t crazy? 

There was almost no character development. Elsa was the same as she was in Frozen, but this time, it was just annoying. She never learned or grew. Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character even though she’s the protagonist; I have no words for how frustrating this was to watch. I miss the Kristanna bickering. I liked their dynamic overall; I understand their insecurities and lack of ability to communicate because of it, and I liked how non-toxic they were. Overall, they did love and trust each other; they believed in and supported each other, even though they had a falling out (again and again) and were separated for most of the film (again, wtf?) EA had no development together, and honestly, they were annoying asf as a duo. There was no communication and no understanding. I will say that Anna’s fear and frustration throughout the entire movie was absolutely 100% understandable and sensible; she’d already lost too much before, and wasn’t prepared to lose anything else. I just wish she’d been portrayed a bit differently??? And it would’ve been nice if Elsa had stopped for, like, two minutes to be like, “hey, are you okay, you seem clingy and worried” but instead she just kept running and didn’t gaf.

It was over dramatic for the sake of plot, when it didn’t have to be. Elsa didn’t have to continuously try and push Anna away “for her protection.” They absolutely could’ve done the vast majority of things together. Fuck, they could’ve gone to the dark sea together. Anna could’ve stayed on the beach while Elsa tackled the Nokk. Then when Anna saw that Elsa was perfectly capable of protecting herself, they could’ve parted ways then and done whatever it was they needed to do. Or, Elsa could’ve taken Anna to Ahtohallan?? They may have discovered there that Anna couldn’t enter, but then they’d be given the opportunity to communicate, and Anna would’ve at least been included, since this was her history, too.

If this is a movie about two sisters, why the ever loving fuck is it all about Elsa and her origins? What about Anna’s origins? They were her parents, too. Sure, we ask “why does Elsa have magic,” but why doesn’t Anna have magic? Why was Elsa the “gift”? Why is Anna’s superpower “love”?? And why is that “superpower” only valid when it’s in regards to Elsa? Why is Anna so strong, physically? Emotionally? Personally? Is it just her? Why isn’t she an element, too? What’s with this bridge bullshit? Why the fuckkkk is Elsa the “fifth spirit” when she’s ice and ice is literally just water? I have so many questions.

How the heck was Iduna Northuldra? Did she become “whiter” because she remained inside a castle for twenty years? Or was she always “white passing”? Or was she adopted into the forest? Who are her parents? Did anybody miss her when she ran off to the kingdom? Her scarf was from “one of [their] oldest families” and yet nobody seemed to know who she was? And what do you mean “oldest families”? Are there no remaining members of that family? Nobody who was missing her? Nobody who would’ve recognised her daughters who are literally carbon-copies of her????

The shipwreck scene and the following scene pissed me off soooo much in the theatre lol First, it really was beautiful how they did it, but the interactions felt out of character. Elsa brought up the memories of their parents’ demise without consoling Anna at all. Not only did she just do it without at least a warning, she then proceeded to leave her behind in her own fit. Which, okay, yes, to an extent that makes sense; she was over-ridden by guilt. But those were Anna’s parents too. Elsa was all she had, and Elsa left her behind. I just- AND THEN in this moment of severe grief and horror, as these terrible things were revealed, Anna was pushed away again to be left on her own to deal with things alone. She’d JUST sacrificed her own feelings for Elsa, and Elsa’s response was to shove her away. WHY. I just??? hello??? Like, Elsa does care about Anna, right? That’s canon? So why tf would they write her like this?? jfc

Every single new character was wasted potential. Mattias above all else was very interesting, and should’ve had at least ten minutes more screentime??? I liked the scene of him and Anna discussing whatever, but there should’ve been more. They both cared more about Arendelle than anyone; they were both sworn to protect. There could’ve been more of an on-screen relationship there. (and don’t fucking come at me with your gross-ass ships please, tyvm). Honeymaren and Ryder were there for ??? merchandise? A reason for Elsa to stay behind? Queer-baiting??? I don’t get it. They did,,, nothing. Yelena? Did nothing. Why do these name-characters do nothing?? What’s the point???

This was advertised as a “big adventure” but had hardly any adventure. Frohana was apart for most of the damn movie, the action scenes had little consequences, the “climax” was ??? what, Elsa freezing? Who cares?? It’s obvious she’s going to come back. The wave heading for Arendelle??? Yeah, that would’ve been a good climax if it actually did any damage. But no, I guess Elsa can teleport now? aight. and now she gets to play hero again even though she didn’t do shit

The plot(?) was very predictable, and didnt really have a twist. Old white guy kills innocent POC. Okay. That’s real life, yeah? It’s shit; it happens, but why was this whole movie based around that? Was it a political statement? We don’t really need more political movies these days??? People are aware, and things are shit as is; idk it just felt forced. But this is a v controversial subject so imma shut up lol

THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. Unless you’re Anna. Then you suffer severely cuz,,, fuck her, right? The entire cave thing (as beautiful and needed as it was) could’ve been prevented entirely if Elsa had just fucking communicated. But instead, Anna had to suffer again in such a severe way. Her feelings DID have consequences; they effected her severely and even influenced wreckless behaviour. But then?? it’s all over. And suddenly, it doesn’t matter. Suddenly, who cares? Elsa returns and is (for some unforeseen reason) magically forgiven. This ISN’T HOW SISTERS ARE. If my sister pulled half the shit Elsa did, the first thing she’d be greeted with is a slap across the face and a very loud “fuck you.” THEN she’d get a hug and some tears. You don’t fuck with people’s emotions like that. And the fact that there were no serious consequences is infuriating.

Anna becomes Queen without context. Did she want to be queen? Did she suggest it? Did Elsa decided “eh fuck it i’m bored, your turn” and just dump it on her? Anna is a free-spirit. Yes, she was absolutely devoted to her kingdom; her people always came first; she was an incredibly loving and selfless princess, but was she truly prepared to give up that freedom to be Queen? I think she fits the role beautifully; she was absolutely born to rule. But is she happy? Or is she yet again cleaning up Elsa’s mess, since that seems to be all she does?

Why did Elsa stay in the forest? Is it because she felt like she belonged with the spirits? With the people? Away from civilisation? All of the above? None of the above? And how did that conversation go with Anna? How did she explain; “hey, I know I died and fucked you up and promised that we’d always stay together, but I’ve decided I’m gonna leave you behind again and stay here with these people I barely know.” Did Anna object, or did she see the positives of being away from someone so toxic???? It makes no senseeeee, they were so good together in the first movie; it all feels so out of character. Both of them feel out of character.

There were few (very few) moments in which they really were like themselves:

The charades scene.

“You think I’m c R A Z Y?”

Head tilts with Bruni.

Anna laughing at Elsa’s braid-stache.

Elsa making toys for children.

The pleasant Kristanna scenes at the beginning.

Anna’s anger scenes.

Even Elsa’s personal drama???

but that’s it? I’ve seen it four times in theatre, and a few times online (though mostly in pieces) so I don’t think I missed anything. Perhaps I’m blinded by the frustration that this film caused. Overall:

The plot was weak.

The animation was beautiful.

Kristanna wasn’t the Kristanna we truly know?

Elsa was dramatic and annoying because she had no development.

Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character and was given a half-assed purpose.

The music was meh.

There was too much and yet somehow not enough.

It was a mess.

Six years. SIX. I-

ugh.

final note: PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS IF I MISSED SOMETHING. I think it’s also important to note that if you went to the theatre for 2 hours of entertainment, that’s great, but not the same as those of us that have dedicated six years of our lives to these characters? So please don’t come @ me if you were just a movie-goer. I also wanna say that there were a lot of parts of this movie that I loved and will hold onto, but overall, the movie as a whole was meh. I LOVED Anna & Elsa in Frozen; they had good development and had reasons for being how they were. They had a good dynamtic and worked well together. I hated their relationship in F2; it was toxic and forced in many ways; they didn’t interact nearly enough, and when they did, they were bitching for the sake of plot, which was very frustrating.

This isn’t a hate post so please don’t come at me lol my opinion is entirely irrelevent in the grand scheme of things, but hey, we’re here to chat and share, right?

sigh.

#frozen 2 spoilers #review #anna and elsa #queen anna #elsa #anna #frozen #frozen 2 #frozen 2 review #this is so much longer than i had intended holy shit #i don't necessarily HATE it #but idk if i like it?? #and they didn't live up to expectations #and too many things felt forced and unecessary #i'm glad my ship sailed but at the same time it was all over the place? #hm #sad #kristanna #deserves #better #:(

[dyketectivecomics]

Your opinion on Young Justice (cartoon)?

(possibly unpopular & especially critical opinion incoming. friendly reminder that I tag my hate with the tag “#whyj” bc I've seen someone cleverer than me using it and am totally using it from now on)

tl;dr - It’s overrated. (if u stan YJ & read any further past this and get Big Mad, its on u lmao. final warning, you might wanna turn away.)

-The character development is nearly nonexistent or relies too much on fans already having preconceived notions/understandings of their comic counterparts, and failing that, the fandom’s developed their own Idealized Fanon versions of all of them (which completely ignore the DECADES of comic canon to be pulled from in some cases). Which is another reason why i nope out of any work that takes YJ canon into consideration.

-The plot only runs cleanly as a binged drama, and even then, it’s not.... As Good As You Think. which was likely why it suffered in the first place since even seemingly ‘standalone’ episodes end up having some kind of overarching relevance. Watching it weekly and trying to connect what happened 6-8 episodes ago was a nightmare back in 2013, it’s a nightmare now, and its time we all admit it.

-The line-up is WACK and an INSULT to what Young Justice was. At least Teen Titans had the decency to follow ONE partial line-up that actually existed in the comics. The YJ team line-up is a poorly chosen one, and now the subsequent team-ups are all suffering for it.

-Aging issues too! De-aging Zatanna has always been my biggest pet peeve. but considering they thought it necessary to make Dick Grayson the Youngest of the crowd, aging up Kon & M’gann when they should be in Tim’s age group, it just further highlights why there’s such a disconnect between the stuff from comic canon that they’re suddenly trying to cram into their own, and what’s already been established, and why it’s just become a mess that fans who actually read & keep up with comics can’t connect with.

-that being said, it’s a cool way to make non-comics fans to understand some aspects of comics culture that i’ve been picking up on. Mostly due to the fact that these can be similar issues to be found with team books, especially when there might be Events that they may miss a key element of, or with the timeskips, which can be a necessary and SOMETIMES an interesting storytelling device (but only when its properly used. which it rarely is both in the show and in comics themselves)

-moving onto This Season all of the ‘representation’ that they’ve been trying to give comes across as strictly performative. (but this should be no surprise really, considering their #Feminist!!1!! moments from the previous season) They’ve introduced or hinted at development for side characters only to have them set aside for the main plot & come dangerously close to spreading the cast too thin by introducing so many characters, almost exponentially each season.

-they’re great at throwing around Ideas and then not.... completely following through with Satisfying payoff (bc most of the time when they DO follow through it’s just.... not Great Scoob)

-there COULD be brilliant character moments, but they all fall flat, because again, not a lot of meaningful follow up for those developments.

-its just.... a mess. I'm honestly trying to find one (1) good thing to say about it but I'm gonna end up talking in circles now. any one might be wondering ‘well gosh, randy, if you hate so much about it why are you watching it?’ and thats honestly a valid question. at this point i just want to see what’s happening plotwise with it because i AM invested there, but that’s honestly it. all signs are pointing to them introducing raven for SOME DAMN REASON in the 11th hour (i mean what the FUCK ELSE COULD ‘NEVERMORE’ BE A FUCKIN REFERENCE TO) but i think i might drop it right after that. or just binge it in one fucking go when they bring the 4th season around. I'm honestly still just so salty that they gave em a 4th fucking season. did y'all REALLY ask for this? i mean really? do we really deserve these barebones SCRAPS of rep and character development? no. we deserve better.

-also phil bourassa’s style is overdone, tiring, and not as Inspired as YJ fans want to pretend that it is. say what you will about the Timmverse style, at least it had panache & a timeless aesthetic for each cartoon. YJ/animated 52 universe movies just.... rely too much on being ‘wow! americanime!’

#whyj #asked and answered #anonymous asks #randywrites #negative /// #y'all keep that in mind if u read this salt #and no. this is not actually an invitation to change my mind #if y'all try to come into my inbox to 'DefENd YJ's h ON oR' i will just block u lmao #and possibly publicly ridicule you too #its called an opinion. you didn't HAVE to read mine lmao

[kae-karo]

for the ask thingie—who is your blorbo and who is your horse plinko in bnha?

thanks!! have a nice day ❤️

ooooo FANTASTIC question >:} let's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (fair warning i am VERY behind on the manga so this is like...opinions as of ~ch 300 or so? i think?)

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you my blorbo (and other words)!

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

this is probably dabi. he is the kaeya of bnha for me, for any of my genshin ppl who read this lmao. i simply see a purple burny man and my brain goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

DENKI MY LOVE MY BEST BOI LIL ELECTRIC GREMLIN I LOVE U SO MUCH

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

since i can't say denki twice, i'll say mei hatsume 🙏🙏 idk how underrated/underappreciated she is but i don't see tons about her and i think she's a wonderful, brilliant little feral gremlin

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

does bakugou's humility count cause i feel like it should no but really tho i feel like it's hard to pick an obscure fave cause like??? bnha is so fricken huge that i feel like every character no matter how minor has like a serious dedicated fanbase lmao. i think any time we get some focus on like,,,,,,denki or kiri i get excited abt it??? they are good bois and deserve the world lmao. oh or sassy shouto that's *chef's kiss* too

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

dabi. hawks. baku. u name it every character has been called problematic for some reason or another lmao and i love them all deeply. probably baku would count as the most 'problematic' fave? i guess?? or dabi with all the murder lmaoooo

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

dabi :) and hawks actually, i like to play with breaking his loyalty and worldview. but dabi is fun to torment generally lmao shoutout to me determining that cremation fire wouldn't actually kill him so if he were presumed dead and locked in a cremation oven as a kid he would've survived it

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

don't hurt me but i really do not like canon deku ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think in fanon he gets a lot more interesting, like when you step outside the bounds of what hori has written (up to ch 300 ish or wherever i stopped) i think deku has so much potential but i'd eeby deeby the hell out of canon deku sorry kid

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you my blorbo (and other words)!

#bnha #ask game #ask #anon