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iknow-thisisallinmyhead · 1 year

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something’s happening to me

When Connor prompts a realization - 3.7k - read on ao3

I didn’t think anything of it at first.

Maybe it was naive of me, or maybe just ignorant, or maybe it was just an inability to see past the fact that I had just died. That my heart had spent three minutes still and silent and when it started up again something was different. It was distracting; there was a buzzing under my skin and I couldn’t figure out what was causing it, couldn’t figure out why it seemed so big, couldn’t figure out what to do about it. That’s the only explanation. I was too focused on me to really see what was going on with him. (I’m always too focused on me.)

Connor, well, he just seemed like he needed someone to talk to. He seemed like he was floundering, like he was losing his footing and in need of something steady to right himself with. Of course I would be that for him, of course I would offer a hand out to a friend. I’ve been there myself, I know how much a hand can seem like a lifeline, a beacon to guide you home when you're lost in the woods of uncertainty. He needed the support, needed to know that just because his life was about to change it didn’t mean he was about to.

At least, I thought that was what he needed. (Why am I always so wrong about these things?)

#buddie #buddie fic #writing #911 on fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #connor 911 #love realizations #6b sepc i guess #this for sure could happen #riiiiight

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doccywhomst · 4 months

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#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post #i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness #same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids #anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being!#and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance #unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people #jerma #cw jerma #(someone asked me to tag lol)

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the-gayest-sky-kid · 4 months

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god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers

#sorry i thought too hard about everything and got weirdly emotional like hgoly shit #i talk to people here every day and we know stuff about each other and shit and we exchange ideas and waaa #we're like all basically penpals but better #im realizing how revolutionary this is. like had we all been born earlier we never would have met #and even if we did we'd have to talk through letters with weeks if not months in between responses #can you imagine that #every day instead i literally wake up and my friends are there #insane #i love having friends

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majoringinsarcasm · 4 months

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DONT BE AFRAID TO COMMENT ON OLD FICS DONT BE AFRAID TO COMMENT ON FICS IN A FANDOM THE AUTHOR MAY NO LONGER BE ACTIVE IN. IF THE STORY IS STILL UP LET THEM KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS IT MIGHT JUST BE THE REMINDER THAT MAKES THEIR DAY.

SINCERELY SOMEONE WHO JUST GOT A REPLY THAT MADE ME WANNA MAKE THIS POST

#reject modern fast fashion fandom culture #comment on shit from 2012 to scare and or delight the author #anytime I see ppl reading my haikyuu fics I wanna cry with happiness #being reminded of fics and then looking and realizing I still love them is a true gift #COMMUNITY BITCHES THIS IS WHAT THAT IS

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gibbearish · 6 months

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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish #bigger gibbers

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noperopesaredope · 6 months

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I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

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norvicensiandoran · 2 years

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#classic tumblr #ides of march #coming back to the OP to say I love how #almost no one in the notes realizes #this was a QEII death post originally #look at the date y'all

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secondbeatsongs · 10 months

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#titan #titan submersible #oceangate #titanic #the titanic #''catastrophic implosion'' is how they're describing it #they have no idea if they can recover anything because of how deep it was #they also don't know yet when it imploded #I will say. the way they're wording this #it probably imploded before people started looking #they keep saying their listening devices would have heard an implosion #but that it did definitely implode #destiel meme #I love you meme #destiel confession meme #what is this meme actually called #I realize I have no idea

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fruityrats · 11 months

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Happy pride!

#loz #legend of zelda #botw #breath of the wild #totk #tears of the kingdom #zelink #link #zelda #rauru #totk rauru #i see no difference love is love #sorry im sure someones made this joke before #also imagnie how elated i was when i realized zelda is taller than link in the botw universe

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lungthief · 10 months

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listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.

like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been

#like you get why all the fics about those two are insane right. the narrative is just so goddamn compelling #and thats not even getting into the whole thing abt the serum curing steve of every ailment except his love for bucky #which makes him realize it was never an ailment to begin with (despite the commonly held beliefs about homosexuality in the 1940s)#and bucky being *electroshocked* again and again into forgetting steve #like howd you make your gay ass movie that gay and not realize it. its kinda impressive #sorry for the ridiculous stucky retrospective its 4am and i rewatched the winter soldier recently #its not that deep. its not its not its not . but if it was anything other than what it is it could have been. and thats the worst part #shut up riley #marvel #stucky

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abd-appleboxdog · 3 months

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I love these fools so much. I hope in the end they stay together or keep in touch. I heart them its like the dad who didn’t want a cat but loves the cat

#I love dad chilchuck #I love whenever these two are in frame #they’re always in the background judging and being haters #there’s also a lot of frames with them and marcille together #I love all three #chilchuck and marcille have a cute and interesting friendship #marcille loves izutsumi cause she’s a cat and she cares for her #and izutsumi loves chilchuck cause he’s warm!#I’m kidding I think chilchuck treats her good cause he realizes she’s still a kid and also a cat #straight up father mode brah #misc post #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck #izutsumi #chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi izutsumi

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thatrandomblogsays · 4 months

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#hear that? that’s the sound of Annabeth realizing her moms love is bs #time to replace it with found family love #Annabeth chase #Percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo spoilers #pjo tv show spoilers #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #mine

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bitterly-almond · 3 months

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AU: Kuina lived and her father was supportive of her ambition. He sent her to Wano to learn the way of the swords so they meet again when Zoro arrived at Wano.