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yanderenightmare · 8 months

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can we have more yan DEKU who terrorises his exgirlfriend? like, he sends her creepy letters and gifts, without mentioning it's him of course, scaring her straight back into his arms??

Deku - Midoriya Izuku

TW: yandere, hints of dubcon/noncon, size difference, stalker, mental abuse

Green Paisley

You’d felt watched lately, and things were rarely where you remembered putting them. But thinking it was all in your head, you’d ignored it until you received the first gifts and saw the pictures. Eyes peeled while reading the letter with a shaky hand covering your mouth, you dropped everything on the steps to your apartment when quickly reaching for your phone.

I wasn’t going to write you any letters. I was happy just watching because I knew you were already spoken for. But I’ve noticed that the green-haired guy hasn’t come over lately, and I feel so sad knowing you’re home all alone…

You contact the police, but all they tell you is to invest in a new alarm system. After a little crying at the station, they show you enough sympathy to post a squad car in your neighborhood – but all in all, you’d say they didn’t seem very convinced.

That green-haired guy is a fucking moron. If you were mine, I would never let you go. I would take care of you, much better than he ever could. I would give you only the prettiest gifts and call you only the sweetest names. I’d treat you how someone like you deserves to be treated. Keep you safe and sound and happy to be mine…

You read the stalker’s letter again while browsing ways to upgrade your security – your thumb in your mouth, nail bending where you chewed on it – eyes panning over the photos that came in the box. Taken through the window – some innocent enough, candid pictures of you cooking in the kitchen or watching a movie on the couch.

Others were not so innocent.

Your nail broke between your teeth as you looked at the revealing pics of you in your bedroom – wearing nothing but flimsy underwear.

You looked back to the screen and continued scrolling through deals – but more than that, you were trying to distract yourself from what you really wanted to do…

Izuku had always been a source of comfort when it came to safety, and you know he’d come if you called, but since you broke up with him only a couple of months ago it seemed too selfish to ask. Besides, the reasons you broke things off were all because of his derogatory tendencies, and to beg him over because of something like this would only prove his point.

You couldn’t call him over. He’d see it as a win, and you’d decided you wouldn’t lose to his patronizing ways any longer. You needed to do this on your own – without his help.

You had to wait through the weekend until Monday to call a guy. A new box came both days, each one more terrifying than the last. But after installing a new alarm system you felt a little safer.

But the next box stripped that safety away.

I know I must be creeping you out. After all, you have no idea who I am, whereas I know you so intimately. But you shouldn’t feel scared. I would never hurt you. My gift to you today is proof of that.

P.S. Security systems aren’t enough to keep me away from you.

Beneath the letters were more pictures of you – this time sleeping – inside the house.

You fell apart – caving in, calling Izuku in tears, begging him to come over in a hurry. “Izu- please, please, please come home-”

He’s sitting on your couch only a curt fifteen minutes later, a tight arm around your midriff, holding you close for comfort while you sobbed against his chest – a furl deepened his brows while reading, holding your stalker’s letters in the other hand with green eyes narrowing for every sentence he finished.

I dream of making you mine. As I watch you sleep, I wonder what you dream of. You look so lonely lying there. Maybe if I keep you company, you’ll start dreaming of me too.

“How many of these have you received?” He questioned when done, looking around at the gift wrap on the floor, green-paisley-patterned, and the several boxes filled with crepe and untouched pieces of what looked like different arrangements of lingerie, candy, and sex toys.

“Four, I think…” You muffled against his tear-soaked shirt, clinging to him with your legs tucked onto his lap.

“Four? Why didn’t you call me sooner?” He echoed, looking down at you with heavy curls shadowing his eyes.

You looked up at him through the blur, lip sucked between your teeth before answering. “I- I went to the police-”

“The police? You went to the police instead of calling me?” He cut you off harshly, making you flinch.

“I-I-” You stuttered, crying, and he shook from his misplaced anger and took your face in his palms.

“Shh-sh- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” He apologized with a kiss on your forehead before pulling you close to his chest again. “It’s just… this is exactly what I warned you about. You should have called me sooner.”

“I’m sorry.” You whimper, calming down to the warm strokes his large hand smoothed across your back.

“Shh- it's okay… I’m here now… and I'm not gonna let any sicko touch you. I promise.” He soothed – his voice a calm and strong anchor for you to grip onto. “Come, I’ll help you pack a bag. You’ll sleep at my place tonight.”

“Okay…” You sniffle. “Thank you.”

He drove with only one hand on the steering wheel, the other on your lap, holding your hand – your bag by your feet – and you’re reminded of the first days you started dating. Sleepovers and overnight bags – his hand between your thighs on the drive.

His new place is bigger than the last – like something out of a magazine. Modern and simplistic – a little too clean, maybe, but very stylish.

You knew he’d been climbing the ranks a couple of spots a week since you broke up with him, but you hadn’t known the new paychecks could afford something like this. It made you feel a little guilty thinking about it, then a little embarrassed, causing you to flush – standing there in guest slippers, bag in hand – your presence sticking out like a sore thumb.

“You hungry?” He asked, shaking you out of your meekness, where you looked up with a small nod and a slight hum.

He smiled, turning to the kitchen. You were so cute.

At dinner, it almost feels like old times. Izuku plays with your legs under the table even though you give him a look. He gets you to giggle after a while, surrendering to his hopeless flirting. You help him carry the dishes after you’ve finished – and even though he has a washer now, you slip right into that old routine and start filling the sink with warm water and soap. And then you stand there, the two of you – shoulder to elbow, and your chest flutters, wondering if he was always that tall.

You blushed and ducked your head, not wanting him to see you getting so flustered. You pretended to be throwing some scraps in the trash and that's when your eyes caught hold of it.

Green paisley.

You’re stunned for a moment. Still crouched down, your head hovering over the trash – face blank, body still.

“You weren’t meant to see that.” Came a voice.

Izuku stood next to you. Washcloth in hand, dripping soapsuds on the floor.

You’re breath shivers in your throat, and you drop to the ground with a gulp, looking up at him – now with building fear accenting your still shocked expression.

You blink a couple of times, trying to make sense of it but getting nowhere. “W-why?” Left you then, along with sudden tears that started slipping down your cheeks.

And it really was the only question you had. Why would he do this? Why would he torment you like that? Why would he-

“’Cause you left… And I needed a way to get you back.”

You cringed. Feeling sick – almost sick enough to turn around and throw up the entire dinner in the trashcan, all over that stupid green paisley print. But you didn’t. “You’re pathetic.” – is what you said instead.

You got up from the floor. Upset tears still rolled down your face, but you were mostly just pissed – kicking off your guest slippers, you sat down atop the shoe bench and started doing your laces.

“I’m leaving. Don’t call me. If I ever see you near my place, I’m calling the cops.” You uttered, grabbing your bag before yanking the door handle.

It didn’t budge – some strange new type of locking mechanism, which really made no sense to have on the inside.

“I’m going home, Izuku. Unlock the door.” You huffed, turning around to look at him sourly, only he’d approached you all too silently – making you gasp to see him standing right behind you.

“You’re not going anywhere…”

You’re taken to the bed, kicking and screaming – then pinned by hands thrice the size of your own beneath the big-boned body they belonged to. And now you’re really feeling scared.

Before, it had been such a distant threat – something you could pretend wasn’t there for most of the day and otherwise deal with by the soothing presence of a weapon in your house or a quick phone call to the police. But now – there was no comfort to be found anywhere.

“Shh, baby~ don’t fuss. It’s better this way.” He tried soothing, holding your fighting wrists tightly above your head in one fist. The other kept your lips shut, muffling all screams. Barring your thrashing legs beneath his own. “You need me- you couldn’t even last a single week without calling me.” He justified, hunched over you with his mouth only an inch above the knuckles draping your mouth. “But that’s alright, I don’t mind it. I always planned on taking care of you.” He cooed, rubbing his nose sweetly against yours despite you trying to shake away from it.

You felt something rub against your thigh, and you knew all too well what it was. Fat tears streamed down your cheeks, facing the next events.

But Izuku shared none of your discomforts, rocking the bump against you with a moan slipping into his rant. “You like the new place I got, don’t you? You can stay in all day- I’d give you all you’d ever need or want- you’d be so comfortable you wouldn’t ever even want to leave-”

He sounded just like the letters.

And where it had ached you to know that he’d been the one to write them all… now it terrified you to understand how he’d meant every last word of it, too.

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sepublic · 1 year

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The Collector’s story is so sad to me because they really do try!!! They are putting in the effort to be better!!! They defy the other collectors’ policy of imprisonment and genocide, for the sake of the Titans! They go along with Philip’s plans, giving him the draining spell and a bunch of other magic! And they listen to King’s Owl House rules, they’re gradually adjusting their behavior according to his advice, respecting his boundaries, even letting him get away with Eda and Lilith!

He’s learning. He really is doing all he can to improve, he’s listening. But the Collector isn’t doing it fast enough, they haven’t figured it out quickly; So it feels like for the adults and everyone else around them, they don’t want to put in the effort to teach and rehabilitate this kid. That’s too long and arduous, it’s much easier to stick him in a prison and hide it, or even kill the kid.

The Collector invests so much good-faith effort into changing for people, but those around him? They don’t want to reciprocate the same effort to understand him in return, that’s how it feels. They demand so much but give nothing back, use the Collector. And would rather take the easy route of punishing the kid to make him shut up for their convenience, instead of really working to talk with him at his level, and explain how to get better. There’s this silent, genuine, hurt and confused question echoing from the Collector; “What did I do wrong?”

It really does feel like one big metaphor for neurodivergent kids, and children in general, who are seen as misbehaving troublemakers. And rather than taking the time to understand their perspectives, and communicate to them about the problem, adults would rather just hit them until they’re quiet.

Because it’s easier, more convenient that way, like sweeping dust under the rug. Even if it just makes this kid who IS willing to improve feel neglected, unappreciated; Allows their problems to fester untouched and unseen, until it boils over and explodes later in life. And suddenly adults are all shocked because He was such a quiet, obedient kid, who could’ve seen this coming?!

The Collector feels like the collective wrath of so many kids who were treated like inconveniences to deal with, rather than growing children who needed help and guidance. And boy is the Collector messy about it, because they’re tired of playing by other people’s rules and trying to appeal to them with good behavior, in exchange for compassion, because that clearly hasn’t worked out and never will.

They are every child who has asked Why about a rule, and instead of being treated like a person with an honest need to know, was just told Because I said so. They want to get it, but people just prefer them being blindly subservient; People don’t care what the Collector thinks, so why should he feel the same for their judgment? The kid is panicked when he insists King focus on the revision he made to the storybook, the lesson he learned, but he’s still being put away for what others wrote.

“You can trust me” is something Philip and King have both told them, and maybe that parallels how adults insist children follow their seemingly arbitrary rules even without knowing why, because “It’s the rules” and authority dictates all. So after struggling under that command, of course the Collector is eager to be the one wielding it this time, with his rules...

The rules of a game. The rules of behavior. Both are laws dictated for people to follow, with someone often deciding and being able to change them as they see fit, especially with childrens’ playground games. Life is a big game and the Collector wants to play his own, after all this time following others’ rules; His people’s, the Titans’, Philip’s, and finally King’s.

There’s a lot to be said about how we expected the Collector to have been someone who didn’t play by any rules, did whatever he pleased. But it might just be the opposite, the kid has never had true freedom, always subject and listening to what someone else tells them, because they’re in charge or it’s the moral thing to do. They’ve been imprisoned their whole life, literally even, and now their desire for agency has burst free.

The Collector wasn’t the god of chaos we thought they were, but now they will be and we’ve seen why; It’s not because there weren’t any rules for them, it’s because there were too many, and the more you tighten your grip, the more something slips free. Too much authority, too little, the kid needs a proper balance of contradictory lessons, like so many in this show...

#the owl house #the owl house collector #king clawthorne #character analysis #meta

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iam-stargirl · 14 days

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What I have manifested 🩷

My first post will be about some of the stuff I have manifested. I won’t write every single thing because I don’t remember it all, both “big” or “small”. And I will write a little backstory for them as well for anyone that's curious :)

My first job: I had zero experience and I was told during my interview that it was very unlikely for me to get the job and that they had other people wanting the job as well that were better qualified for the job because they had experience. I didn't waver and just said "okay" with a smile. A couple of weeks later he calls me and says I got the job.

Clear skin: for many years I had acne and pimples which made me very insecure. I tried many different skin care products that had worked wonderfully for many others, but when I used them they didn't work for me. I then affirmed that I had clear skin. After a while I found this product and just had a feeling that I should try it out. Surprise, surprise it worked! My mom was in shock at how much clearer my skin was and how fast it happened, and so was I.

My computer: I had wanted a new computer for a long time as my previous one was really old and I wanted to make an investment in a good one. I listened to a subliminal about manifesting what you want from your Pinterest board by "i want it, i got it" subliminal channel. I made a Pinterest board with the computer I wanted and affirmed “I love my new computer” while listening to it once. I went out shopping with my mom the same day and saw they lowered the price for the computer I wanted. I was so happy but then I thought about how much money I had. It was enough, but if I bought it, I wouldn’t have much left at all, almost nothing. But then I checked my bank account and i had way more money than the day before and I was like ??? I decided to buy it.

Getting rid of pain: I started getting pain in my hand and it kept getting worse during the day. Later that same day (evening I think?) I could barely move any part of my hand including my fingers. And it was my dominant hand so it was difficult. Just the slightest movement and it would hurt so much. I didn’t know what to do. I tried different things that should’ve helped, but nothing. I then decided to command my subconscious to get rid of the pain because it was getting unbearable and felt like it would either stay like that or get worse. A couple hours later I noticed the pain had lessened but it was still there. Ngl this made me doubt if I could even manifest it away completely. But then I decided to affirm that the pain was completely gone. I kept affirming and affirming even though the 3d showed me the opposite. Eventually i just “went on with my life” and didn’t focus on the pain. The next morning it was GONE.

Figuring out my gender: One day I would think I was a cis woman. Couple of days later I thought I was a trans man. Then genderfluid then ... It just went in circles for so long. I was so confused and my mental health was bad. It was a very long, sad and exhausting journey and it would be too long to write. And other things in my life were not how I wanted them to be either so I felt horrible in general. But then I read divineangelbee’s tumblr post about commanding the subconscious mind. I was done with all this confusion so I decided to give it a try. I commanded my subconscious to show me in my dream what gender I am.. Next day I woke up and remembered a dream I had. I saw the flags and i just knew that was the answer I had been looking for so long. I finally knew who I was and found peace.

My mom getting an apartment: She was unhappy with the apartment we lived in and wanted to move but she didn’t believe it would be possible. I affirmed even with “bad” circumstances popping up. I affirmed even when my mom was worried because of the why and the how and the money… Time goes by and then she tells me she’s been chosen for one of the many apartments she’d been looking at. She was so happy and we moved soon after!

I hope you enjoyed this!

Stargirl

#stargirl’s posts 🩷#stargirl’s success stories 💅🏻#loa success #success story #what I manifested #affirm #persist #law of assumption #loassblog #assume #success stories #loa blog #4d reality #loassumption #dream reality #loa

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connorsnothereeither · 7 days

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So like, a while ago I did a little update on the Brink fics, and I figured it was worth giving a kinda sad update on my other Fable fics as well.

At this stage, there are no plans to continue or finish Your Skin Beneath My Teeth (the second book in the Blood series).

I know this is probably disappointing, because I know a lot of people really loved the Vampire AU. But from a personal writing level, I’m just sort of unhappy with the direction of the books, and I don’t have the time to commit to rewriting them. I’m not invested enough in my own story, and while that’s a shame, I don’t know if there’s much I can do without just giving myself time to stew on it.

There’s also a logistical side to things as well. Fable is coming to an end in less than a month. I feel like it’ll probably take me months to finish the Brink series still first, which are the fics I’m personally more passionate about. And at a certain point, I don’t want Fable to be the only thing that consumes my writing for the next year+. Not to mention the time I want to dedicate to other SMPs and creative projects I’m involved in, like Cantripped, Bound SMP, and Terramortis, with even more stuff in the works.

On top of all that like… I’m just a guy, ya know. I’m a full time student, work part-time most days of the week, commute between 2 major cities regularly, and I have other things that just deserve my time more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in fandoms for years, I know it’s shitty when fics you enjoy never get an ending. But I hope that like, people get where I’m coming from with discontinuing it, I guess.

Besides, there is, technically, an ending for Blood. I’ve had the ending written since the end of the first book (it’s just getting there that’s the problem) and so if people would like, as some sort of closure for the story, I would be happy to release that here on Tumblr or on my Kofi or something. Maybe I’ll make a follow up post with a poll.

I might as well mention that there is likewise no plan to “finish” the Band AU, but since that was always a collection of one-shots, there was never really a plan or end for any of it. It was always kinda disjointed without an end in sight lol.

I’m not saying that I’m NEVER going to go back to these fics. Just that it’s unlikely. But who knows, maybe someday I’ll crawl out of the dirt to finish them-

If you did only follow my Fable fics for the Blood books though, I’m sure some elements of my other fan works might appeal to you, if you want to give them a go! The horror/contemplations of humanity are the key theme of Brink, and the mystery/thriller, high stakes political conflict mixed with interpersonal melodrama is the focus of Cascading Skies, my new Bound fic. And of course those and so many more things are just key elements to like all of my storytelling my canon characters lol. But if none of that ticks your boxes, it was great to have y’all along for the bloody vampire ride :D

Anyway this was me getting sappy about setting aside a project I worked really hard on lol. Sometimes you gotta do that and sometimes that’s okay, and that’s an attitude I struggle with but am getting better at. I know don’t owe y’all any kind of explanation for this, I could have just stopped and let it die, but I wanted to give one. More for me personally really; I needed to say something about it publicly to like… fully cement in my mind what I decided on a long time ago. Anyway, catch y’all later when I’m not incredibly tired, and hopefully with a more silly goofy post ✌️

#fable smp #fablesmp #fanfic

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wonillaa · 1 year

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mistranslation (?)

ni-ki x reader

summary; you ask your friend who has been secretly crushing on you to help you with learning japanese, he attempts to make you believe he’s taught you the word bro when it actually means love. he fails.

warnings; smd joke.. that’s all

genre; fluff

note; hi i don’t know japanese so if i’m wrong on the meaning or misusing the word ai please let me know 😭 also for my ✨ anon!!!! thank you for requesting <3

to niki, no one else compared to you. as soon as he got your text, "hey, can you help with my japanese?" he canceled on sunghoon and told him he has better plans now.

"jay canceled on me too, is there something going on that i'm not invited to?" sunghoon raised his eyebrow at niki, questioning him. "there's no plans, i'm just hanging out with a friend" his mouth goes dry. "yeah ok..." sunghoon scoffs out a laugh and heads back to his room.

when you showed up at their front door he had to swallow his heart that was climbing up his throat. "hey yn, come in" he smiles and steps to the side. "hey. look at all this," you hold up your worksheets, "i hope it's fine, i'll buy you dinner" he shook his head. he’d never mind if it was you "that’s fine, can’t say no to free dinner."

an hour into the worksheets and niki started to get bored. listen. he's thought about the fact you wanted to learn his first language a million times, and he's overanalyzed your reasons over and over again. in the middle of practice he'll think about how you ask so sweetly about new words and phrases and it makes him want to lay down and cry, so he's decided he's no longer thinking about it.

"ok...next," he clears his throat, "how do you say let's go do something more fun" you scoff and look at him. "what's more fun than this..? now teach me how to say suck my dick” he fake gasps and turns to you. “like i’d give you the power of knowing that, absolutely not”

another sheet later and now he’s really bored, and if you’re joking around he will too. he does feel a little bad, but what you don't know won't hurt you…he thinks. before he can prank you into calling him pretty whenever you see him, “how do i say bro?” you ask. he’s never been the best at poker face, his smile dropping immediately, frowning like a sad puppy. “it’s ai.” he lies before he can even think about it. he thinks it over and comes to terms with telling a small lie won’t hurt. but his cheeks feel like they’re on fire as you say “ok then ai, let’s watch a movie or something, my brain hurts.” he doesn’t notice your mischievous smile as you put your worksheets away. “yeah, sure.”

your legs occupy his lap as you’re both invested into the movie you’ve decided on, guardians of the galaxy 2. you’ve both seen it plenty of times together, so you think it’s fine to break the news now. “hey niki” you whisper. his eyes don’t leave the screen. “ai?” he whips his head towards you with an open mouth. you raise your eyebrows, “uh…yeah?” his voice cracks a little. “do you think i’m stupid” “what? anyways. rocket’s on the screen now lets chat another time”

you sigh and rethink everything. is he serious? he’s the one who started this, why is he basically telling you to back off? “i know what bro is, idiot” you frown and pull your legs back in to curl under your blanket. “oh.” … “yeah oh. why are you messing with me” “why didn’t you tell me you knew i was messing with you” he throws back, trying his best to not laugh out of discomfort. or cry. “whatever, i’m telling you i know now,” you frown, “tell me what ai means. are you making me say something weird?” “you’ll have to pry the meaning out of my cold dead mouth ai”

you decide to let it go and pay attention to the movie. until your mind won’t shut off and you remember you can just look up the translation. you lower your phones brightness and quickly look up google translate, typing the word in. the word love loads onto your screen and your eyes shoot up to the boy across from you.

“riki are you in love with me” his eyes shut and his mouth opens in disbelief. “what?” “i know you are! why else would you try tricking me into calling you love?” you laugh and kick his leg. “it was just a little goofy joke- don’t even look at me. and stop laughing!” he groans and covers his face with a pillow. “don’t get embarrassed now…i feel the same about you anyway.”

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superlinguo · 2 months

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Research Data Management. Or, How I made multiple backups and still almost lost my honours thesis.

This is a story I used to tell while teaching fieldworkers and other researchers about how to manage their data. It’s a moderately improbable story, but it happened to me and others have benefited from my misadventures. I haven't had reason to tell it much lately, and I thought it might be useful to put into writing. This is a story from before cloud storage was common - back when you could, and often would, run out of online email storage space. Content note: this story includes some unpleasant things that happened to me, including multiple stories of theft (cf. moderately improbable). Also, because it's stressful for most of the story, I want to reassure you that it does have a happy conclusion. It explains a lot of my enthusiasm for good research data management. In Australia, 'honours' is an optional fourth year for a three year degree. It's a chance to do some more advanced coursework and try your hand at research, with a small thesis project. Of course, it doesn't feel small when it's the first time you've done a project that takes a whole year and is five times bigger than anything you’ve ever written. I've written briefly about my honours story (here, and here in a longer post about my late honours supervisor Barb Kelly) . While I did finish my project, it all ended a bit weirdly when my supervisor Barb got ill and left during the analysis/writing crunch. The year after finishing honours I got an office job. I hoped to maybe do something more with my honours work, but I wasn't sure what, and figured I would wait until Barb was better. During that year, my sharehouse flat was broken into and the thief walked out with the laptop I'd used to do my honours project. The computer had all my university files on it, including my data and the Word version of my thesis. I lost interview video files, transcriptions, drafts, notes and everything except the PDF version I had uploaded to the University's online portal. Uploading was optional at the time, if I didn't do that I probably would have just been left with a single printed copy. I also lost all my jewellery and my brother’s base guitar, but I was most sad about the data (sorry bro). Thankfully, I made a backup of my data and files on a USB drive that I kept in my handbag. This was back when a 4GB thumb drive was an investment. That Friday, feeling sorry for myself after losing so many things I couldn't replace, I decided to go dancing to cheer myself up. While out with a group of friends, my bag was stolen. It was the first time I had a nice handbag, and I still miss it. Thankfully, I knew to make more than one back up. I had an older USB that I'd tucked down the back of the books on my shelf (a vintage 256MB drive my dad kindly got for me in undergrad after a very bad week when I lost an essay to a corrupted floppy disk). When I went to retrieve the files, the drive was (also) corrupted. This happens with hard drives sometimes. My three different copies in three different locations were now lost to me.

Thankfully, my computer had a CD/DVD burner. This was a very cool feature in the mid-tens, and I used to make a lot of mixed CDs for my friends. During my honours project I had burned backed up files on some discs and left them at my parents house. It was this third backup, kept off site, which became the only copy of my project. I very quickly made more copies. When Barb was back at work, and I rejoined her as a PhD student, it meant we could return to the data and all my notes. The thesis went through a complete rewrite and many years later was published as a journal article (Gawne & Kelly 2014). It would have probably never happened if I didn’t have those project files. I continued with the same cautious approach to my research data ever since, including sending home SD cards while on field trips, making use of online storage, and archiving data with institutional repositories while a project is ongoing.

I’m glad that I made enough copies that I learnt a good lesson from a terrible series of events. Hopefully this will prompt you, too, to think about how many copies you have, where they’re located, and what would happen if you lost access to your online storage.

#language #linguistics #data management #archiving

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samptlay · 1 month

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To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 🤍, Chapter 2 🖤, Chapter 3 🤍, Chapter 4🖤, Chapter 5🤍, Chapter 6🖤, Chapter 7🤍, Blade & Reader's Relationship, Chapter 8🖤, Chapter 9🤍

Blade’s phone was ringing, & your name was on the screen.

Did you find out about the affair? Are you calling him while crying your eyes out? Though that could be the case, it seemed less likely that you needed to learn what was happening. So why in the world would you be calling him right now? He doesn’t know or have a single idea, but he probably shouldn’t keep you waiting, whatever it is.

“Y/N?”

“Ren, hey. I’m sure you weren't expecting my call but right now I have no idea where Levi is and I'm feeling like crap. Are you busy with anything right now?”

He did not think he could get any more worked up, but hearing the sorrow in your voice as well as the fact you just told him you felt lonely almost made him see red. In all honesty, he was about to run to his dining room, snatch his keys from off the table, and rush to his car but he hadn’t even showered, let alone brush his teeth. Though he’s sure that you’d let him do all that at your place if he were to leave right now he couldn’t show up unpresentable to you, could he? That could ruin some of his image on you and he’d rather jump off a cliff than let that happen. (He really would.)

“Hello~? Do you have plans? I saw on your calendar you were off but if you already have somewhere to be then-”

Shoot, he got lost in thought for a moment there. Of course, he didn’t have anything to do, he’s never occupied when it comes to you but he’s sure you’re not aware of that fact.

“No- I’m free. I mean-”

He coughs, and you end up giggling from the other end. His ears turn a bit pink from embarrassment as he clears his throat and he decides to speak again.

“Just give me like, 30 minutes I'll be there soon, alright?”

“Mhm. See you soon.”

He could hear your not-so-subtle chuckles before you hung up, but he was already throwing his phone onto his bed and making his way to the bathroom, turning on the shower before brushing his teeth at a speed that definitely made sure they were pearly white. Again, he could never look like a mess in front of you, it just didn't sit right with him.

Blade didn't even wait for the water to fully warm up before stripping and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, getting inside, and deciding to multitask with everything. In the back of mind, Blade knew that he shouldn't be this eager to see you, shouldn't be in such a rush to want to be in the company of a married woman, but he couldn't help it. It's always been this way and he doesn't really want it to change any time soon.

After getting himself situated and hopping into his car, Blade's brain took more time to realize that today would be a lot harder for you than any other. He just notes that he was sad as well. You wouldn't know how much courage it took for him to not run into that hospital room and hold you in his arms.

It was a loss of a life. One that could have brought you so much happiness, but was stripped of you.

However, he could make it better. Blade's not the greatest at expressing his feelings at times though he's always could effortlessly make you smile. He was certain he could do it today, too. So why not go pick up a little something for you while he's on his way? Surely it couldn't have any negative effects.

A/N: I've been having second thoughts about this fic. I looked back to some previous chapters and realized I was not too fond of the way it was written. One person said the way I write Blade is ooc… (on Tumblr) which didn't help my encouragement to write this. I'm excited about the new fic and I'm going to be investing a lot of my energy into that one because I don't get much feedback about this one, it's harder to do better. Therefore, this fic is going on Hiatus until further notice. I'll be using that time to learn more while working on something else.

I MIGHT add chapters randomly if I have work done but updates are not regular as of now. But it will not be abandoned. (I believe.)

If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to leave them. ♡ ~♪◍•

Taglist: @uhfhfhfhf @xdrin @msun1c0rn @umi-adxhira @lovingnahida @strrawb3rrysh0rtcak3 @ssecylia @skyl8ver @immahuman @meowmeowraven @01234 @markexplanation @esthelily @dawnofazrael @chickenalfredo4life @eccaza @jun-xiu @klemen-time @delulu-val @everi-eve @cluelesstoeverything @strangersomeone

Borders by @cafekitsune

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #blade x reader #hsr x reader #fem reader #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #hsr blade

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9w1ft · 6 months

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Although all these days I struggled to understand the concept of LSK or if Kaylor really are together still etc, Hudson Valley really sealed the deal for me. For reasons best known to Kaylor themselves, they definitely have chosen to live their life the way they do. Aaron posting Taylor in Hudson Valley same time as Karlie raised enough eyebrows for their PR teams to kick in and start diverting everyone's attention to Travlor instead. Cue the dinner, tonight's concert, extra PDA, karma line change etc. I see the reoccurring patterns clearly now.

I can't help but feel sad though that this is how they choose to live and of course no pressure for them to pick otherwise but I do hope someday they will decide to drop this facade and openly be together. Love your work btw and it's from your posts that I really started to believe in LSK :)

thank you for this message! and yeah, i think if you stick around and look at the big picture it makes a lot of sense and then things like what you mention above just kind of stick out a little more when they happen. and they happen from time to time.

i understand what you mean by feeling sad, though if you will allow me to go on a tangent,

i think i would be inclined to feel more sad for their situation if they were just everyday women in love with each other but unable to express it solely because of social inequality related to sexuality. but when i think of their entire situation, i know there are more factors involved than just the particularity of who they love. being a celebrity, for example, puts an additional variable into their story that makes the idea of them coming out more complicated and potentially dangerous, and thus potentially less beneficial to them on a personal level. coming out won’t necessarily make things automatically better, because the eyes of the world are on them and a lot of them are hostile. and that’s an anxiety we might not understand. so i try to think about it like that, and place the goal not at a universal ideal but more at a local ideal, the goal of their love persisting and persevering against the odds. i still find a lot of meaningfulness there.

i think we might assume they must be unhappy in their situation, and i’m not saying they can’t be, but i think assuming they are unfulfilled creates a perception that these things they do are painful for them when it might not be the case. i say this because i feel that over the years they’ve been able to sort out and be honest about what they want and what they don’t want, and how to go about things in a way that doesn’t invite miscommunication. looking at taylor’s discography i think there were absolutely years and instances where they weren’t communicating their best, and that both got hurt for different reasons. but i get the strong sense from a growing collection of songs that they’ve put in the work to be on the same page and have found something that works for them.

i don’t want to dismiss anybody that sees them do things and is hurt by it. she basically invented the book on parasocial engineering and i still have my feelings about miss americana and how that clearly set people with expectations. but i think taylor was pretty clear with midnights that she’s doing her thing rn and shining bright. and that she doesn’t want people to mistaken her as a guiding light.

so i think at some point it’s up to each of us as individuals to assess what it is that we get out of it and if it’s worth the time for us or if there are better places to invest our time. i just think that’s going to be different for each person and that’s okay!

#if people are looking for others that are sticking around i think a lot of us on tumblr have found a balance!

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chuplayswithfire · 1 year

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I've always seen Ed's robe era as a standard break up response - crying in your room, making sad creative projects, wearing your ex's clothes that are still at your house, eating ye olde ben and jerry's aka marmalade - and I remain firmly convinced that this is what the show is going for, because this is a romcom, after all.

But if I were to take it as a serious cry for help, an experience of extreme mental distress and signs of a man having a breakdown and losing himself... then like damn Izzy fucking sucks. How are the Crew of the Revenge collectively having more empathy, compassion, and care for a man they've known for a few weeks than Izzy is for a guy he at least claims to view as his captain and as a man he respects?

Like fucking hells bells man, the crew are concerned about Ed's well-being, listen to his song with bafflement but offer encouragement when they understand it's sincere, and are more than willing to meet Ed where he is and call him Ed when he asks. They're down for the talent show because they're a bunch of silly and delightful people, but also they're encouraging someone who's going through a rough time and pulling himself out of it. They're being compassionate and they're genuinely eager to share their talents and see if Ed likes them.

If Ed were genuinely having a mental health crisis (which again is not how I interpret these events but if one did), then this is a great way to respond. They're encouraging Ed to reach out to them by accepting the lowering of a previous boundary (call me Ed, not Blackbeard), they're accepting of his interest in trying new things and changing up his old life, they're genuinely invested in and value his opinion of them in a way that demonstrates that they still think he's cool and admirable despite his changing his whole look and ditching the job persona that they all initially looked up to him for. The crew in general are not just hero worshipping Edward Teach who is Blackbeard, but actively like Ed the man and want him to like them too.

We also see that this is effective and healing for Ed, because after lowering his barriers and singing for the crew, having them accept him in this very vulnerable moment and respond encouragement and genuine excitement for him suggesting they do something totally new, after asking them to call him by his name and treat him like a peer instead of an untouchable idol, the next time we see Ed is him being calm, cleaning his living space, letting in the light instead of wallowing away, even acknowledging that he was not living well by commenting that he can't believe he was "living like this".

Being supported and encouraged helped him to get back on his feet and regain his equilibrium, and he gets that from the crew, a group of men and Jim who have known him for a handful of weeks.

Meanwhile, Izzy stews in his distaste for everything that's happening with Edward, and doesn't decide to engage with him about any of it until he sees Ed doing better and yet still not being the man Izzy wants him to be. Izzy's responses consist of telling Edward that he should have been killed rather than be able to live as the man he is right now, dehumanize him as a thing rather than a person, and cap on a threat to watch his step if he doesn't start acting like the man Izzy wants him to be. For some reason, this threat isn't always taken seriously in the fandom, but I'd remind everyone that the only reason Stede, another pirate Izzy doesn't respect and sees as worthless, isn't on the ship in episode 10 is because Izzy went and found the British Navy in an effort to have him killed. He told Ed that having Stede killed by firing squad - the same death he's saying he should have "let" happen to Ed - "is a humane way of ending this". Ed wasn't prepared for Izzy's treachery because he didn't take Izzy's last threat - that he would rue this day - seriously.

Izzy is perfectly willing to follow up on his threats. And he was making a threat, a serious one, right after saying that he should have had Edward killed as part of his last plan.

Like, look, Izzy's response in episode 10 is always wildly off the wall - there is no situation where it's appropriate or even reasonable for him to dehumanize Ed, threaten him, or tell him that he should be killed for trying new means of expressing himself, but if we approach episode 10's robe era as Edward being in a state of genuine mental health crisis and distress?

Then Izzy's fucking abominable. Absolutely horrendous. There's no defense. It would only further highlight that Ed was right to say he has no friends in episode 6 - because no friend would react that way even if you were just going through a breakup, let alone a genuine mental health crisis.

A group of people who only knew Ed for a few weeks have more compassion for him than Izzy.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach #crew of the revenge #izzy hands #and this all gets much worse if you're a blackhands believer because like #jeez izzy THIS is how you express your love huh #i mean its great for people who love monstrously unhealthy relationships with white dudes who are cruel and possessive

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daresplaining · 11 days

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opinions on the red fist saga? :0

Resoundingly negative, unfortunately. I actually only just read it, because I was having a rough time with it while the issues were coming out and so decided to put it off until I was in a better headspace for it (or until I saw a preview for an issue that excited me and gave me the motivation to catch up, which is what happened with next week's anthology issue).

As I said, I disliked this story very much, so if you aren't interested in hearing me rant (perfectly fine! I wouldn't blame you!), read no further. I really hope you liked it. I really don't want to get you down if you did. This whole run was just the epitome of Not For Me.

Ahem.

The "Red Fist Saga" is, in my opinion, a flimsy "Shadowland" knock-off, centered around the abrasive, moralizing religious zealot who has been inhabiting Matt Murdock's body for the past few years. Elektra Natchios, an incredibly complex character whom I love dearly, had her backstory savaged to remove its autonomy and complexity (that's a rant for another post...) and exists in this story as an accessory to this Matt look-alike and as a handy target of his moralizing (at one point he comes to the revelation that this recent journey she has been on has been worthwhile because it was all about God saving her from her wicked ways!!, at which point I may have blacked out from rage for a few seconds). Matt and Elektra GET MARRIED, and the implications of this massive shift in their relationship are not explored at all. And phew...the less said about Sam Chung's single scene, the better. As was true throughout Zdarsky's entire run, Matt speaks and thinks in this story like he is reading a prepared speech at all times, making grand-yet-hollow pronouncements about the nature of good and evil. He doesn't sound like a real person, but rather like a robot that has been fed a steady diet of religious texts, along with a few surface-level social/systemic reform concepts. His personality consists of being alternately sad, angry, and making lofty proclamations about "fighting evil in the service of God's plan", and I just have no emotional investment in that. I'm not Catholic (and neither, until recently, was Matt Murdock, making this whole thing profoundly weird).

There were some cool elements to this story. I'm a huge Stick fan and I'm thrilled that he is finally back from the dead after all these years. I love Stilt-Man. I love Speed Demon (for some real Speed Demon goodness, go read Superior Foes of Spider-Man, one of my favorite comics of all time). Foggy had a few good panels. I got to read Milla's name; always a treat. Kirsten didn't actually die. Mike was...mentioned (I've already griped about his death; I won't do it again here). The twist that Foggy and Stick were actually already dead was effective and very cool and I didn't see it coming at all, so I will give full credit for that. And I'm someone who genuinely does enjoy Hand shenanigans. I love that stuff when it's done well. But the degree to which I could not stand this new Matt and did not care what happened to him or what he was doing, plus the fact that I had seen all of these plot points executed already, and better, by previous Daredevil teams, meant that this story was just a protracted slog through painful writing, past scene after scene that could have been so much better in the hands of a different creative team or centered around a version of Matt Murdock who was actually a compelling protagonist.

#Thank you for asking! I hope this isn't...too terrible an answer.#I hate being negative like this but it also feels good to get this off my chest because this run was a miserable experience for me.#Daredevil vol. 7 #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Elektra Natchios #The Hand #Asks #Commentary

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teeth-cable · 24 days

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Just say your reply and dam let me say it

Nifty makes me so sad shes everything i love in concept yet her execution kills me; she loves cleaning shes a bug and not only that a old timey bad alien movie inspired

I wish this show was actually about the hotel and that she had gotten the "alastor is allowed to not tell us his backstory because we need a season 2 " treatment, if this show actually follow the premise of redemtion Niffty, V and Angel (heh all bugs) would be the most complex ones and satisfecho ones to write about

V even if i prefer she wasend an exorcist if she n camilla carmine were former winners turned exorcist and them fallen we coul have both sides of going to hell

Angel Hess from the mafia! How how you teden that?? Even if he gets his sould how you fix all the blood or family spill! How did Molly did! (Rip my girls desing wtf she has maneged to look bald n hairly??) Just the journey he would have to go tru a looong road, would charlie put him on the back burner? Would that make him have a relapse?? Would he learn Molly make it hell would that be his motivation? Just this man

NIFTY she is conected to Al and im fascinanted to know why he favors her so much, why shes like this do Al know- does she even know? Its this her cope, was she murder or the murderer ?? Was she too a rasing overlord? Its her past the reason ? How does she feel in general honestly shes done so little in the show but i wanna disect her n know why shes like this so bad

Sorry for the rant n probably bad english just had to get that out my sistem at 1 am lol

Niffty was done dirty by the writers, everyone but her, got character development or a moment that hinted to some sort of character depth (Even if it was shallow).

Why the writers decided to reverse the seasons I have no idea. Charlie finding out Heaven is corrupted doesn't work since the plotline hinges on the audience's investment in her reaction and the cast, but why should we? We don't see the cast trying to actively improve themselves and the show repeatedly tells us sinners are the worst. At this point, it makes no sense for the show to continue the hotel premise because we know Heaven is corrupted now. What's the point, when we already know any effort the cast puts towards redemption will be in vain?

The characters are fulled of mystery and great ideas but the show refuses to explore them. I was surprised by the lack of references at their human backstories. The cast's human lives are why they're in hell and the person they are now. Like, how are we supposed to know Husk's cheesy love for magic came from watching the magic shows in the casinos he grew up in????????? That seems like a very important piece of information to know about his character, considering it's one of the few things he still loves. In that one line alone, we learn so much about Husk and why he turned out to be an alcoholic gambler. At the end of the show despite spending time with characters, I feel like I don't know them as much as I should. I don't know their motivations, beside for Al and Angel we don't see them struggling through their flaws (The show has Husk tell us, writing 101 /sarc), and the show doesn't really explore the cast's relationships with each other or their world. So any potential information we could have learned about them from their interactions through others characters and their environments isn't utilized.

The show just keeps important info locked, tells you character's infos that would have benefited better from showing it, and then except the audiences fill in the missing gaps between info-dumps.

Don't worry about ranting, it's was fun to read and respond too. I understood you just fine.

#꧁rambles꧂#➥asks #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin critical

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xxlady-lunaxx · 5 months

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Stories about you | {KaiGyu}

Theme: Fluffy I think

Note: This ship is a little tricky because of their silly deaths but imma jus roll w/ it. Gyutaro and Daki did die same time, same place, Kaigaku became demon same time as well, not changing that shit which is going to make this tricky but yk-

Also THERE IS SO LITTLE KAIGYU ART 😭 atp i should just draw the less popular ships bc there's barely any art of them </3

This is short, sorry, bit hard to write Kaigyu when there's so little to work on both of them being from diff times as demons.....

Kokushibo would tell Kaigaku about the Uppermoons sometimes, including the deceased ones. He would tell him all sorts of things and Kaigaku would hang onto every word in fascination. He never realized there was so much to know about demons besides that they killed. Like, how often the Uppermoon two and three often argued and how Upper five was constantly obsessed over his pots—though Upper four and five had recently died. He learned all about Uppermoon four's clones and how long each Upperranked demon had been in the 12 Kizuki. But most of all, he love hearing about Upper 6 and the two siblings. Specifically Gyutaro. Kokushibo had showed Kaigaku pictures of each Uppermoon and, for some reason, Kaigaku found himself rather attached to Gyutaro whom he took an interest on through Kokushibo's stories.

So, everytime after Kokushibo decided that their training sessions were done, Kaigaku would go up to him and ask for another story as if he was a child. They would sit down and Kokushibo would tell him another fact about the Uppermoons.

Eventually, Kaigaku grew more comfortable asking about Gyutaro. He was careful, of course, asking about the other Uppermoons as well. But he grew bored of them and started focusing more on Gyutaro to the point Kokushibo noticed and pointed it out.

"No! I'm just curious because he was the same rank as me and... uh... you know!" Kaigaku insisted, whining.

Kokushibo cocked an eyebrow, giving him a sort of teasing look. "Could you be so invested in Gyutaro, though he's dead?" he asked.

Kaigaku shook his head. "No, I'm not, I swear-!"

Kokushibo laughed. "Alright then. Let me tell you about the first time he and Daki were introduced into the Upperranks."

~~~

This continued ceaselessly and Kaigaku learned more than he ever would if the Uppermoons were alive about Gyutaro. It was so interesting and captivating and he found himself dreaming what it would be like if he'd been a demon at the same time Gyutaro had lived.

It was so wonderful to love someone—though the constant reminder that Gyutaro was dead was sad. Kaigaku couldn't help making up a sort of world in which Gyutaro and he could be together. There was no saying that Gyutaro would actually like me, rather Kaigaku almost appreciated the fact that the Uppermoon had died because he was pretty sure nobody would fall for a demon like Kaigaku. Nevertheless, Kaigaku fell into a daze, sometimes, and Kokushibo had caught him several times as he thought about Gyutaro.

"You're blushing again!" Kokushibo said, pointing to Kaigaku's flushed cheeks.

"I'm... cold!" Kaigaku lied.

"Demons aren't affected by the cold in the same way humans are, Kaigaku," Kokushibo said, sighing. "Do you like someone?"

Kaigaku shook his head rapidly. "Nope! No! Never!"

Kokushibo shook his head. "Fine. But don't let me catch you unfocused again or I'm going to lock you out into the sun!"

Kaigaku crossed his arms. Well, if he died he'd be with Gyutaro, no? "Fine! I'll stop!"

Needless to say, he was more careful. He mostly thought about the deceased demon during his free time instead of during his training. Which was for the better anyways.

~~~

Kaigaku had been looking around in Kokushibo's house—a small one-story place in which Kokushibo lived in solidarity during the day time. There was one room Kokushibo had, where he'd said there were pictures of the Uppermoons. Kaigaku had been interested so he'd been permitted to go there.

In the room, he found the box Kokushibo had spoken of. There were a lot of pictures, a third of them being of Muzan, and the other two thirds of the Uppermoons. Including past ones, such as the ones that were before even Akaza had become a demon. Kaigaku even found one of himself in the box.

The ones of Gyutaro and Daki were cute, both siblings being so close to each other. Kaigaku traced Gyutaro's face, marveling at the way his hair framed him perfectly.

"He's so pretty," he whispered.

Kokushibo entered the room. "Who is?"

"What?! Nothing!" Kaigaku quickly stuffed the picture into the box.

Kokushibo raised an eyebrow. "Sure."

"So, uhm... Why's there so many pictures of Master here?" Kaigaku asked, trying to change the subject.

"Oh! Uhm! You know! I've known him longest than anyone else," Kokushibo said, a bit too quickly to be the full truth.

Kaigaku smirked. "Do you like him?"

"No! Well! Yes, but not the way you mean!" Kokushibo exclaimed. He snatched the box and closed it tightly. "Let's... let's go train now."

Kaigaku laughed. "Alright then."

~~~

(this is so sudden, I'm sorry-)

Kaigaku was dying. Fuck Zenitsu and his stupid new form. Fuck thunder breathing and the world!! Why the hell was he going to die?! Bet he was the first Uppermoon to die tonight. Stupid. Useless. Weak.

And then he was gone.

It was black.

Was this hell?

He looked around.

Light.

Step towards the light.

No, he didn't belong there.

Heaven was for people who did good. Kaigaku didn't belong amongst the good.

He turned away from it, though he ached with curiousity to see through.

He went further into the darkness. It seemed to grow darker with each second that past by.

And then he was there.

Hell.

Was this hell?

He saw demons there too.

And then one.

His eyes focused on two demons. Previously Uppermoons. Upper 6.

Kaigaku stumbled forwards, a smile growing on his face.

Gyutaro. It was Gyutaro and Daki.

They turned to him.

Gyutaro smiled and Daki grinned.

Kaigaku moved forward, closer, until he was right in front of the two.

"Kaigaku..." Gyutaro murmured. "Nice to meet you, Kaigaku."

Hell... was going to be wonderful.

{Word count: 1009}

WAHH THESE TWO ARE SO CUTE BUT THE TIMESTAMPS OF THE ACTUAL MANGA MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO PUT THEM TOGETHER.

also the second to last sentence I must explain :33

Gyutaro had seen Kaigaku from above, watching him, because Kaigaku had been wanting so badly to meet Gyutaro that he'd sensed it. So, he'd said "Kaigaku" because he already knew of him, and "nice to meet you" sort of a "I met you yet I know you already" kind of line?

i love writing sm

#kaigyu #sillyness #demon slayer #fluff #uppermoons #demons #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #more random tags #kaigaku #gyutaro #kinda spoilers #haha fuck #i've been so slow on posting here bc I forgot oops

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alexandrarosa · 11 months

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First love

First of all I don’t remember the last time I’ve loved something this much. I think it wouldn’t be an exaggeration if I said it was the best thing I’ve ever watched.

I absolutely loved the characters and their development. I loved how the plot was shown in nonlinear time – thanks to which we could really see the whole story from different perspectives.

I loved the ending and even though it was such a happy one, it kind of wrecked me. And I absolutely have to post my whole analysis of the show because ‘First Love’ is the only thing I’ve been able to think about for the past three days.

(spoiler alert!)

Yae Noguchi

The first character we meet seems like the nicest person in the world. Of course we don’t know her tragic backstory then but we can feel there is some mysterious lingering in her preception of the world around her. She’s a single mother, she works hard day and night. We slowly get to know everything about her life and honestly it’s all so sad. I mean her relationship with Harumichi is lovely. I adore how she sees him as the wild one compared to her. She has her dreams and she’s so invested in all the things she does. She’s courageous – she’s the one who confesses her feelings first (and my beloved dumbass Harumichi doesn’t even get it). She is ready to work hard to get what she wants. She got into university and I think she was really happy there. Of course then the worst happens. And I feel like that accident was the beginning of the most miserable period of her life. She’s always been ambitious, she had plans. And all of the sudden she’s reduced to being a stay-at-home mother and a housewife. Her husband, who seemed like a good guy, turns to be, well, an asshole. His mother treats her horribly. They have no respect for her. She’s kind of treated like housekeeper more than a part of the family. So she struggles, but becames herself again – and takes the control back. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, she has to work night and day. But she’s ready to do it. And she loves her son unconditionally, she’s ready to give him everything he needs. And when he needs to have better care – she’s ready to give him up even though it kills her. She gets back on her feet, she moves away from her mother.

I absolutely love Yae. I love how determined she is, I adore that she really tries, even though she has no hope for herself. And I love that she’s ready to do everything she feels she should.

Yae’s dreams

Something that makes me really sad is that she has to wait for so long to actually make her dreams come true. She has always known what she wanted to do in life, but couldn’t accomplish it for twenty years. She feels like a person with no past cannot have a future. And that’s how she sees herself –she lost so many precious things – not only love and memories, but also (or maybe mainly) the abilities to do what she wants. She didn’t graduate. She was a housewife so she had no experience in any kind of work. Yae from before the accident had the whole world standing open before herself. Yae after the accident has limited choices and no hope for a change.

But it’s so sad that she’s losing it all and her mother does nothing. She’s grieving after a perfect daughter she’s lost like she’s the actual victim. Yae’s mother let her own grief and pain hurt her daughter. She was blaming Harumichi for the accident, because he wasn’t able to protect her. And because of that she punished them both. She made Harumichi believe for so many years that he’s the responsible one. She forced him to dissapear from Yae’s life, she would let her know about him. She preferred the surgeon guy because he had more money. She’s hoping she made the right choice - but honestly she didn’t. She shouldn’t have been making the choices at all. They were not hers to made.

What makes me so angry is that Yae never got back to the university. I wonder why her mother never encouraged her. I’m angry that she had to through all that pain just because her mother decided what’s best for her.

But nothing makes me happier than those small parallels. Teenage Yae greeting imaginary passengers on their flight to Reykiavik and adult Yae being a flight attendant in Iceland. Teenage Harumichi saying that he’s going to be a pilot with a beautiful flight attendant as a wife and they ending up flying together at the end. Their dreams really did come true at the end.

Harumichi Namiki

The literal love of my life. I mean this is the guy who becomes your fictional crush and makes every guy in reality look sad. He’s the epiphany of taking control ovet your own life. And an exellent example of ‘you can’t change him but he will change for you if he cares’ and honestly, damn. Their origin story, their meet cute, whatever you want to call it – my dude was swept off his feet. He saw a girl reading a book and he decided to change his entire life for her. It was, as he stated, laughably easy. He went from a textbook badboy to learning nonstop for several weeks because of the chance he saw on the horizon. He would do absolutely everything for her. He became a pilot for her. His whole life was dedicated to her. She was the energy that fueled his life.

And then she got ripped away from his life completly abruptly. And then at the slightest chance of finding her again – he regained all hope.

I love how he always states that he believes in fate but at the same time he knows that he can’t just sit and wait for the good fings to happen. He uses any chance life throws at him. And everything he could control – he did.

Harumichi’s character development

What’s interesting about Harumichi is a long way he came during his life. From a badboy to a wild student to the military cadet and pilot to the security guard. I love how visible it is that his main reason of being is protecting others. From protecting his sister to protecting Yae and his country. But what’s also worth mentioning is his belief in love – or actually – the way he loves. We see him as a teenager, eager to give love, full of energy. Then, as an adult, we see him with Tsunemi – he’s more conscious, more careful. Less involved. I thought it’s just something that comes with age. But then he finds Yae again and all his energy and involvement come back. I feel like for those twenty years he was passive about his life and work and love. I’m sure he cared for Tsunemi but she couldn’t wake that flame inside of him. And then he became active again because he regained the hope for reuniting with Yae again. And I’m not even sure if it had a romantic purpose at the beginning. I don’t think he wanted to break up with Tsunemi just because he saw Yae. But then it turned out that he didn’t have a choice – Tsunemi wasn’t the one. Maybe in a world without Yae she would do, but not in this reality. That’s why I don’t think that Harumichi broke up with her to be with Yae. I think he thought he had to because he couldn’t love her as he should have.

Their love

I love how Yae’s and Harumichi’s relationship is actually so calm and peaceful. They don’t argue. They don’t have that will-they-won’t-they dynamic. They just love each other and it’s completly pure. I also love the scene after the end credits when they are shown together while walking. Notice how Harumichi constantly grabs her hand, touches her, kisses her. Like he’s afraid that if he doesn’t hold her she’ll disappear. And she’s so happy that he’s back in her life. That there is somebody that really actually loves her. Geeez, I’m so happy that they found each other.

The role of fate and the role of timing

Fate is a tricky thing – some people sit and wait for the good things to happen. But it seems like the characters from the ‘First Love’ know it doesn’t work that way. Yes, you can call it fate that Harumichi saw Yae on the train and then again in the exam room. But everything he did later came from him. He took care of everything that was in his control. And when there was nothing more to do, he had to let fate work again – and it did. They went to the same high school. Fate worked again twenty years later sending them both to Sapporo and making them, in a way, cross their paths. And yet again Harumichi didn’t wait for fate to reunite them. He was listening to the taxi announcements for hours for god’s sake! Life (or fate – whatever you want to call it) gave him the chance to rescue her this time and he did, hurting himself in the process.

The fate did it again with Uta finding Harumichi in Iceland, but Yae actively chose to find him. She made her own choice not waiting for a coincidence.

What’s also worth mentioning is that Harumichi actively played the role of ‘fate’ for Tsuzuru and Uta – he made it possible for them to meet.

The worst part of all that is timing. And we know that timing is a bitch.

So many important things happend in the wrong moment. Harumichi coming to Yae only to find out that she’s pregnant. Yae falling in love with him again when he was engaged. Her confessing her feelings after he decided to take a break and go away. Yae regaining her memories only after Harumichi left. Her deciding to take back control of her life and dreams and pandemic streaking.

But at the same time so many good things happened because of the bad timing – for example Harumichi’s leaving let Tsuzuru find the CD player that gave Yae her memories back. If he had never decided to leave she might have not get them back.

For such a long time I was trying to understand why he didn’t want to be with her when she confessed her feelings. But I think I get it now. He would have to live knowing she doesn’t remember a big part of their shared history. And I think it could be heart shattering. He had to actively choose to leave her again despite their shared love for each other because it would be more painful for him to be with her even though it’s the thing he wanted his whole adult life.

And then she regains her memories. And she comes after him. And my little heart is so happy and sad at the same time when I think of all the things they had to live through to find each other again. But at the same time all that happend – good or bad – made it possible.

The normal life shown in the series

I think it’s something worth mentioning. Every person in the show has their own normal life. And I think it’s so important that the role of the characters isn’t reduced to the love story only. We see them working, eating, partying, cooking, studying, even commuting to work. It seems so natural but at the same time I feel like the western fil/show makers sometimes forget that the normal life is also worth exploring and showing. Characters crying and then going to work in the morning like nothing happened. Cooking for loved ones. Sitting with a giant plushie (another reason for my love for that dude). The mention of living in the pandemic! Seeing it from perspective actually made me cry because I got reminded of that period that I actually struggled with. And so did Yae. It’s so precious to me to see characters being normal people.

The music

I feel like the song ‘First Love’ will always make me cry from now on. It always played in such moments in the show that it now gives me the lingering feeling of sadness and happiness at the same time anytime I hear it. And for that I am eternally grateful.

All in all, loved the show. It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen. If it was a book I would literally sleep with it underneath my pillow (like Alexander the Great with his copy of Illiad). I can’t believe I accidentally discovered such a treasure. If you didn’t watch it yet I cannot recomment it enough. If you did – you know what I mean.

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flowerbloom-arts · 6 months

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I want to know who in the 90s production team thought it was a good idea to make Mymble jr like that, she was so silly in the comics, and they made her so boring

Tell me about it! And it's not just the comics, she was also silly in the books!

I can't say what the exact intentions were when they decided to write her character like that but it feels like they made her so safe.

There are some moments where you can see her being silly, like showing her ring off to Snufkin and falling for Mrs. Fillyjonk's bullcrap in Mymble's Diamond or her trying to match Inspector in the Fancy-Dress Ball but her overall character feels more like an extension of Little My and Inspector. It's sad! She doesn't get to be friends with Snorkmaiden or interact with anyone else besides the aforementioned 2 characters in the show, she gets actively written out of her book roles!

It was Mymble Jr who was a perpetual liar even her own mother couldn't stand and helped the Oshun Oxtra get to the party, and she had a character motivation of getting independence from her family in Moominpappa's Memoirs! And the adaptation made her Little My's mom and/or "lookalike" for the 3 episodes the book was adapted!

Mymble Jr was there during the flood and climbed onto the theater with the Moomin family, and she was stuck with her own mom leaving Little My, the worst behaved of any of her siblings, in her care and pressuring her by saying if she can't handle her than nobody can, and her and Little My's relationship was one of the more heartwarming character threads of the book! And they replaced her (along with 2 other whole characters) with Sniff (and made him the most unlikeable he's ever been on top of that)!

Her and Inspector in a relationship (if we ignore the fundamental points of their characters in the comics) isn't so bad in theory and they do manage to make them cute at times but it all feels unnatural when Mymble Jr isn't given enough of a character to make us invested in the relationship that some episodes try so hard to use as leverage for their plots. If they could've just let them be silly and saccharine and show that the care is mutual by letting Mymble Jr express herself then the creative decision would've worked so much better, but they didn't, and we're stuck with this huge bit of frustration.

They made a comic relief character boring! In the silly slice of life anime! What!!!

#moomins #mymble jr #fb answers

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 2 months

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So I'll start by saying that I haven't followed camren for a few years now, I've had some personal problems, which didn't even make me look at Lauren without thinking of a person who truly hurt me,then the relationship she had with Shawn is like that was such a big lie that I almost lost credibility in the person that Camila is,I'm sorry for this, because in that period in my opinion she wasn't herself, now with the change of look I don't know what to think,she's grown up I know, it's just that sometimes I have the impression that she's always being used in some way,It always seems like there's something wrong, and I get the feeling that she's getting more tired of this situation than we are,It is 100% sure that Camren was real, I have rewatched the videos and interactions these days,and really if they are not together now they probably were in the group,It's clear that they had something, which perhaps now like Camila in the podcast says "I wanted someone so much but It didn't end well" (not exactly the exact words but yes something like that)And then the fact that she mentioned the love she had at 17,Obviously it was Lauren, remembering all the interactions "who do you want to kiss under the etc.." we all know the answer,Or all the dedicated posts, the coincidences, something doesn't add up, even now it seems that the thing isn't over, something is about to happen, we don't know when, but something will happen and in my opinion, Camila she'll coming out somehow,even the change of look It makes me think of a change, if there is a meeting going on probably something big will happen, revenge? Maybe, they will be able to take off the chains? given that even though Camila left, It seems like she has more chains than before I don't know, maybe I'm delusional, but in my opinion something will happen and I hope not something bad, I have this feeling, I think it's not a coincidence that lately it's likes Camila has reopened that part of her Life,what would be the point? Maybe mention that love but not give details and Lauren say "I'm queer but Camila isn't" so if she was would you be together? I think if Camila were to come out, she probably will after the meeting,In my opinion after some time,they'll probably make her stay with a PR too, or they'll make some rumors after the meeting about the Camren, even if it would be funny, because probably if Camila decided to come out, what better time than after the meeting? When she meets Lauren on time, and on time there will be rumors of the two of them, and maybe they will show them together,it would be inconsistent but it wouldn't surprise me if they did something like this,and at that point they would also shut the rumor that they are shitty people,and they would earn even more especially since I see a lot of LGBT couples trending in 2024, If that happened, I think it would be very sad, because yes we will have what we have always wanted, but at what cost? Something will happen I'm sure,we'll see how it turns out 🤷🏻‍♂️

At this point, all we have to do is wait. Although about Camila, there is one detail that is bothering me and that made me think about her after seeing the drama that Selena Gomez has with Interscope where they are forcing her to release music that she doesn't want to.

I think Interscope is doing the same thing with Camila and CC4 where this forced narrative of her being obsessed with boys is something she doesn't want to do, but she has to honor the contracts.

If Interscope is not investing in Selena because the entire label's budget goes to Billie and Renee Rap, what will be left for Camila?

Something is off, and I need to talk to someone about it

Camila mija, if you read this, send us a hint if it's happening to you too

#camila cabello #something is off #cc4

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