#maybe I'm just saying this because I used to be a part of a community that was just hating on every second person in it

[suguru-getos]

| Bully! Gojo Satoru x F!Reader | Part 7 |

Summary: You had just transferred schools, and your first day was an encounter with your new bully. He’s mean, terrifically hot & absolutely a menace. Though there’s more to that personna. Perhaps an emotionally stunted softie who can’t communicate after used to being worshipped by everyone?

Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: With the School festival coming right up the corner, your class choosing the Maid Cafe and you dressing up as a Maid. Satoru has to pull a few strings of his own. He may not be your bully anymore, he still is a spoiled boy who wants what he wants.

Between the haze of studies, and the workload because of the festival preparation, two weeks had passed. Satoru? Yeah, Satoru has gone more and more normal you'd say. He doesn't bother you apart from the occasional greetings. Sometimes he would smile and wink at you during the cafeteria where you settle with your friends; they are enamoured by the snow-haired king of school. Both the best friends, Satoru and Suguru are so sought out, you are worried it would end up in you getting into trouble because of it. Satoru is hell-bent on giving you the attention you don't need. You don't wish him good morning upfront when you accidentally catch him in the corridors, he does. Never failing it even once. The people who hang out with you have started to taunt you because of it.

"If it was up to me, I would have also spilled my lunch on his shirt. Maybe then he would notice me like he does, you, Y/N." Your eyes roll back a total of 360 degrees. This, this very behaviour was the reason Satoru was able to humiliate you so many times. The reminders aren't needed. The brutal reminders of you wishing you had no school, of you wishing that maybe he would have a change of heart and leave you alone. All because you said he collided against you purposely. Insufferable, Satoru Gojo was truly insufferable.

The cafeteria was echoing with the whispers, laughs, and discussions of your classmates and seniors alike. This was supposed to be festive time of course. Everyone was busy with something. As for you, this was your break. You had just finished giving your sizing for the maid costume. You hope it would look good on you at least, and you would get some memorable pictures. The thought of the School Festival commencing soon makes you giddy. You're not one of those emo loners anyway, you'd rather enjoy. "Hello Y/N san." One of your classmates diverts your attention, your gaze wanders up at him, reflexively shifting in your bench with the tray of your food so he could sit next to you. "Hello!" You chirped, watching him glance at you in a weird way, what's so weird about it? Well, Satoru looks at you the same way, as if you were a movie. You gulped, the stare was awkward. "So, what did you need?" You asked, raising an inquisitive brow. "Uh, nothing, just wanted to ask if you would participate in cooking as well? Some of the girls have been given the opportunity to dress up as maids, the others are going to be cooking." You think about it, this was pre-decided that you would be wearing a maid-costume. When the discussion happened, you were chosen pretty easily for the same.

"Hmm, I don't think I'm a great chef to be honest." You half chuckle, shrugging. The boy nods, gnawing at his lower lip. He seemed, almost nervous. As if he didn't know what to do if you didn't agree with him. "Why? What's the problem?" You asked again, trifling with your food now that your curiosity was piqued. "N-Nothing as such, it's just, you know Y/N there are going to be people from different schools, seniors- and I don't want anyone to hit on you." His cheeks are beet red when he says that. You raise a brow, you don't know how to take it. "Uh, thanks? I can take care of myself. Didn't take me much time to knock a shitty senior out in this very cafeteria?" You lean back, observing his face. He was looking more and more nervous by the passing minute. What is going on? "You know, I appreciate whatever you thought about me, but I can handle myself and take care of myself. Anything else?" You asked politely, unsure why you are being talked-to like you're a damsel in distress who wouldn't be able to take care of herself from hormone raging teens. "Sorry." He pouted, looking down. "I know it must sound like I am trying to control you - but you should remember I only want what's best for you." You want to puke, you barely know the dude. "Do you have a crush on me?" You cut to the chase, this was getting redundant/ "Who? ME?!" He exclaimed, leaning back, stuttering, "N-No of course- I mean, no- not like- Y/N you are pretty." "Thank you, I'm assuming you do have a crush on me?" He shakes his head no, timid again. "I don't want to die by the hands of Gojo san if I become brave and do agree."

Ah, there it is. Gojo San coming and looming in all over you again. "I understand, so you mean he likes me and he doesn't want anyone else to like me else he'll beat their ass?" The boy looked conflicted, should he? Really tell about all that? He wonders about the pros and cons - beaten up by Gojo to a pulp versus being your friend.

"Y/N, please don't discuss this with him." He begs, eyes pleading submissively. You roll your eyes and sighed, fine - you will keep your mouth shut about it. "Yeah, I promise. Won't share anything won't confront him, never heard of it." "He- uhm, ever since he knows that our class is going to do a Maid-café, he's closely supervising things with Shoko san & Geto san." "I never saw him? What do you mean? I never saw him come and check things?" You raised a brow, you were so sure his chapter was a closed one. You barely talked to him apart from having casual small-talk where you both don't ignore each other's existence. "Well, he did. Mostly timed when you were busy, he decided the menu, he interfered with the maid costumes. When everyone was against the long skirts and the full sleeves he threatened that he would have our class not participate at all. When we asked him what we could do so he could let us have some freedom to organize 'our own' activity - he mentioned he doesn't want you as a maid." A broken sigh escapes your classmate when he's done confessing.

You were.. fuming to say the least, every nerve ending pumping with boiling blood. So he is going to make everyone else suffer because he can't have you in a maid costume? "Then?" You raised a brow, this wasn't any conclusion. "Then I said I could talk to you about it, you're pretty and we hoped we would make a lot of money if you were to participate but Gojo San said he could cover the monetary side of it without any issues. Which left us with one final option, you could either opt out of being a maid, or we don't do it."

Ridiculous, fucking ridiculous.

"Why?" You snarled, what the fuck? "Well, because- as he said, he doesn't want other 'men' to look at you and create all sorts of scenarios in their head. He will have to take things on his own hands when that happens - and he wants to avoid that. I mean - avoiding beating up boys and ruin the festival." "Oh how kind, Gojo San is so kind, no?" You scoffed, sighing. Your classmates depended upon you, and you were once again caught in a clutch by Gojo Satoru. He gets what he wants doesn't he? "Tell him that I will be doing maid. Tell him to die mad about it." You got up, hearing the sound of the lunch-end bell and stomping away.

------

Gojo hasn't come back to you, it's been two days. You are sure your classmate had communicated everything to him clearly. Weird. This dude was so fucking weird. You are taut by your own promise to him though, you wouldn't talk to Gojo about it and risk the very foundation with which he trusted you. A lot has been on your mind since, if he likes you, he has no idea how to show it. Besides, doesn't even… matter if he likes you or not. You wouldn't forgive him… right? "Come on, don't be so pouty just because you're losing!" You heard his familiar voice from the basketball court. "Your glasses aren't working properly if you think I'm losing." You heard Geto remark back. Basketball, Satoru and Suguru are playing basketball. You didn't want to be a lurker but you do peek inside, watching the tall hunks play around alone. Every thud of the ball, every chuckle, every snicker and every goal sounding evidently in the echoes of the empty hall. "Peeking's no good." Satoru smirked, looking at you. You have no idea how grateful he is right now. He caught 'you' looking at him. "Sorry-" You mumbled, clearly accepting your mistake when you are at fault, unlike the fucking cafeteria incident. You were NOT at fault back then. "Whatcha lookin' for?" Satoru asked, playing with the ball and dribbling it while walking towards you. "Nothing, just got my 'final' maid costume." You answered, eyes trying their best not to glare at him when you say so. He hums, "Yeah? Gonna be a maid I hear." He cheekily grins. He heard… as if he doesn't know the bits and pieces of everything minutely already. "That's right, 'very excited' for it." You emphasize, and his eyes visibly softened, the pupils humanly dilating and a soft hum escaping him. "Mhm?" "Yeah" You grin back at him, unsure how to continue the conversation further.

Satoru was, dying. He didn't want to become what he was when you two met, and the way you said you were excited about it, he doesn't want to rip that all off because of his own spoiled wishes. It's a complex web of thoughts. On one moment Satoru wants to claim you as his; no one is even allowed to think about you wrongly. Keep you enclosed with him, marry you even? Breed you so you know you're his. Make babies so he gets a perfect blend of you and him. The other bit of him, wants to let you live so he can hopefully become a safe space for you. Help you trust him which he has ruined, show off the person he likes- loves- he doesn't know whether it's like or love yet.

"Well, I'll see you around." You distract him from his thoughts instantly. His lips part and brows furrow a little in resistance, "Well- shyeah."

He glances at Suguru once you leave.  You're going to be a maid and he wouldn't be able to do 'anything' about it when that brings a smile like 'that' on your face.

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojo fluff #jjk fluff #bully gojo #gojo imagines #jjk imagines #jjk drabble #jjk x you #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen drabble #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen fluff

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Okay this is what I wrote that whole post about antitransmasculinity/antitransfemininity vs transandrophobia/transmisogyny about.

Transandrophobia isn't "our oppression" as transmascs any more than transmisogyny is "our oppression" as transfems.

People who are not transfems and transmascs experience these things. In particular, nonbinary people who are neither transmasc nor transfem (or who are afab transfems/amab transmascs) often experience one or both of these things frequently and systemically. This is often due to transphobes misgendering them as transmasc or transfem and in large part due to biological essentialism.

(Unfortunately, I've seen the same misgendering from the trans community insisting that because someone was misgendered as transmasc or transfem that that makes them "politically" transmasc or transfem. I've also seen a LOT of biological essentialism on afab=transmasc amab=transfem shit from the trans community.)

Actually, anyone who experiences transandrophobia is the authority on it, and anyone who doesn't, isn't. Same with transmisogyny, ceterophobia, exorsexism, etc. And people who are the authority on it are not the authority on who CAN'T experience it, nor on what it CAN'T be - only that people of their identity CAN and that THEIR experiences are part of it.

Acting like you are the ultimate authority on a type of oppression because your identity experiences it more frequently and/or intensely... yeah, no. You are an authority, and one of the most important ones, sure.

But I'll even go so far as to say this attitude is blatant, if unintentional, exorsexism.

Because those of us who are neither transmasc nor transfem, or who are both, or who face the oppression that "belong" to both because of presentation, being GNC, or intersex/altersex identity...

It's our oppression too. More than you ever will acknowledge.

We're the ones most frequently cut out of these discussions, or in cases of being multiple rather than neither, condescended to to explain "well of COURSE we meant you, we only directly contradicted you and explicitly excluded you by saying people of your other identities don't understand or experience this because you should already KNOW that doesn't apply to you since you are the Right Identity, except you're less of it because of your other identities anyway so you don't matter, off you fuck".

And quite frankly, people who are neither don't even get that, they just get "well, you're transmasc or transfem for the sake of these discussions, misgendering nonbinary people is okay when they don't fit into a masc/fem binary and agreeing with the violent bigots that initially misgendered you about your identity while shoving you right back into a binary is fine and even good actually, as long as that binary isn't man/woman, even if we're basing that binary assignment on your assigned gender like garden variety transphobes"

I thought we already hashed out "gendered transphobia isn't based on your actual identity, but what you're perceived as or even what bigots find convenient and useful". I thought we hashed out "non transfems can experience transmisogyny and non transmascs can experience transandrophobia". I'm pretty sure we even covered "not being a member of the group that is typically the primary target of a type of bigotry doesn't make it hurt any less, nor does it mean you can't be targeted just as much or even more than some members of that group, both interpersonally and systemically".

Like did we miss "experiencing a type of oppression makes you an authority on it, whether or not you're specific identity is 'supposed to' experience it"? Did we miss "believing people not just that their experiences exist, but about the intensity, frequency, and intentionality of their experiences is not negotiable"? Or maybe it was "there's no 'misdirected' bigotry or 'intended' targets, because bigots were trying to specifically hurt the person they attacked"? Because I'm pretty sure we covered all those too.

Maybe the next topic should be "we don't hold ownership over oppression". Standing over a type of oppression and growling like a dragon over their hoard and breathing fire at anyone who says "hey this belongs to me too" helps no one. I thought the whole point was that we wanted the hoard NOT to exist and NO ONE to be able to claim ownership anyway.

This is why I include things other than transandrophobia (including transmisogyny) in my definition of antitransmasculinity, and vice versa for transfemininity; and why I use gendered transphobia terms like transandrophobia and transmisogyny equally inclusively of EVERYONE who experiences them. Because if we're talking about "our" oppression for transmascs or transfems specifically, we're talking about so many more types than just transandrophobia or transmisogyny. And if we're talking about transandrophobia or transmisogyny, we're talking about more than just transfems and transmascs.

And to end: even by your rules, I have a right to an opinion on this, because I am transfemmasc, among other things. If transmascs/transfems are the final authority on "our" oppression", as the authority, I say we are not the final nor only authority.

I say that anyone who has experienced transandrophobia/transmisogyny is actually the authority on it, regardless of identity, and anyone who has not is not, even if they are transmasc/transfem (rare cases, but for these purposes I'm including people who claim not to have experienced these things to claim they don't exist, as an example, even if they later realize they have actually experienced them).

The authority on a type of bigotry, at least for gendered bigotry, includes everyone who has experienced it, period. And gendered transphobia isn't any of "our" oppression - it's all of "ours" but it doesn't "belong" to any of us. In fact the whole point of oppressive systems is kinda that it "belongs" to our oppressors. They are the ones wielding it as a weapon; they are the ones holding ownership of power over us. Transandrophobia, transmisogyny, etc - it's theirs, and we're not trying to take that oppression or power for ourselves (in the sense of reversing the dynamic, not in the sense of "becoming empowered".

We're trying to destroy it. Arguing over who it "belongs" to is antithetical to that.

#transandrophobia #transmisogyny

[goldenbloodytears]

Hey!! While waiting for the community to be reviewed... What are your thoughts on Danny's education? I wonder if this prick ever got an actual degree in journalism instead of finding a way to falsificate the whole thing somehow under the premise of being good enough for it anyway, tbh

Ooooh! Great question!

Well, honestly, I've been a bit back and forth about it--he's always given me major confidence trickster vibes, so the idea that he wouldn't....fluff up his credentials... seemed funny to me.

Prior to his tome release, I thought it would be interesting if he was more self-taught, especially since back in the day, it was a lot easier to get into journalism without strictly studying journalism. This isn't to say this is no longer the case, there ARE still situations where you can end up a journalist without going to journalism school... but generally the "best" way (if you have no network) is gonna be school. Anyways, his tome reveals he did take at least one anthropology related course in college, so I'm assuming he has at minimum a couple credits to his name. I like to think that he finished his degree, but the idea that he got wrapped up into the murdering and maybe didn't get to finish his degree is very fun too. Honestly picturing Danny at uni is such a trip because my general impression of colleges/universities is most of them tend to be very left/liberal-leaning and Danny's just a fucking centrist man... he's a bloody doomer getting into fights about how humanity is bad. He's literally the annoying guy in your seminars who takes the prof's entire attention and stalls the discussion just so he can have his own personal debate.

However, I like the idea that he didn't go to school strictly for journalism. I think part of the issue with his education is we don't know where it fell in relation to said patricide. It's not entirely unreasonable that his dad might have wanted Danny to get some university education and then enlist, it would look good in making him an officer, higher-ranking, stuff like that. If that's the case, Danny's credentials might be related to things that would be more useful to a theoretical future career in the military. For example, something like a BA in (military?) history with a minor in English. I'd honestly argue that his education is open season since his line of work as a journalist is one of those careers where as long as you can meet the technical skills required (writing, communication, research, etc.) it doesn't matter what you strictly studied since higher education at the university level generally already prepares you for that.

I have more thoughts so I might expand on this a bit later, but in the meantime I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this topic as well.

#danny johnson #dbd ghostface #dead by daylight #ghostface #danny jed olsen johnson #dbd lore #dbd headcanons

[lady-phasma]

It’s me again 💝

I’ve been in the Hotd fandom since the show first aired but got really into it once adult Aemond showed up . I’ve dabbled in a bunch of what I call creator content, fics , imagines even editing videos … I just don’t seem to find my people or I have people and they talk for awhile but then ghost . I try not to stress cause I get it we have lives and that shit comes first but it’s just idk sad when I try so hard and I’m lost in the crowd if you will. I’ve reached out to people via dm and I usually try to comment and give my opinion to get some interaction . Perhaps I’m making a bigger deal than I should . I would love to come off anon and dm but I just don’t wanna be judged and I say this even though I know people reading this will think pathetic . It is what it is

Hi 💝! Thank you for writing again! First, no negative self-talk on my blog. 😊 It's not a rule exactly, but I don't support it. Maybe you follow me, that's irrelevant, but I doubt that the demographic of my followers will think anything about this is pathetic. Outside of them, if they think that, they can block me and then we don't have to worry about their opinions, do we?

Now that's out of the way, don't worry about coming off anon. You don't have to or you can decide later. I answered another ask and said this and it bears repeating:

Feelings are valid, but they are not always truth.

Maybe it is a big deal to you at this point in your life. It has been to me at other times (not on Tumblr because I was on a near-10 year break from it). I don't like to give advice because I'm not in your shoes. I can only offer an ear to listen and my honest opinions.

Keep creating!! Whether it's in a fandom setting or not. I only write what I want to write. I only make gifs of what I want (or need for a fic). Make things when you feel inspiration or even if you don't. Drop your imagines in here if you want. Especially (but not limited to) excitement you have during the second season! There is going to be so much lovely chaos during the second season. We are all going to have thoughts!

As for your experience on your blog, follow more people, reblog with comments/discourse (if it's kind and not hurtful). And try not to compare yourself to others. I know it's difficult when notes on a post feel so damn good, but they aren't always immediate. And be yourself. I don't mean any of this as advice - it's just how I behave on here. Try not to try, just be.

I am so glad you've been in the fandom since the start! I stared my HotD experience on AO3 because I had been on there for years. Then a conversation in the comments in October 2022 got me on Tumblr for the first time since 2013/14. I'm so glad it did! There has been drama (I took a hiatus from Jan 2023 until March 2024) but there has been more joy and fun than that for me. I do that on purpose.

As I've said before, there were about 9 million viewers for the season 1 finale. That's a lot of people. More than I can imagine. So, if I were to offer advice it would be this: this time around for me I have been looking at the tags I follow more often than I used to. I look at posts that are like-minded: kind posts, funny posts that don't make fun of any part of the fandom, and posts about niche characters/elements. Then I look at that blog further, check out older posts to see if they have my same values (or close), and if so, I give them a follow. People don't always follow back, that's okay. But I get to see their positivity or inclusivity and that enriches my experience. The Nettles community is one of the best out here and I am so glad I get to be a part of it. We don't always agree but it's so fun to find a part of another aspect of the fandom. I throw my net wide because there are so many of us.

Lastly, like I said in a recent answer: what do you do to make others feel heard? Do you comment on posts when people express that they are lonely in a fandom? Do you give them a hug emoji or a "hey, I see you" kind of reaction? I do these things when I see those posts because what we put out comes back to us. Treat others how you want to be treated. That's not to say you haven't been doing this but if you haven't, maybe think about why - are you shy, judgmental, unsure how it will be received, or other motivations to keep scrolling?

I want everyone to have a great time in this or any fandom. This fandom in particular needs more positivity and inclusivity. I didn't get the nickname auntie for nothing. 💕 But it's never forced or fake. Come back to my inbox any time and as often as you like. We don't have to keep discussing this unless you want to! Is Aemond your favorite? Which episode do you dislike the most? Are you excited about something in particular for season 2? But there is no expectation or obligation.

#asked and answered #💝 anon #love my anons #fandom stuff #hotd fandom

[intheholler]

Hi, sorry if this is a weird message but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your blog.

I've never been to the appalachia region but I was born in Mississippi and only lived there for like 3 years before we moved. My mom was a travel nurse so we moved every year or two and I really loved living like that and being able to live in tons of different places but part of me is really upset that I never really belonged to a specific place.

When I was younger, I was thankful for not growing up in the south. I always heard other people talk about it, how it was nothing but inbred hillbillies and how everyone talked in a weird drawl and I was glad I never picked up the accent.

But now I'm so, so upset about it. I have a very slight accent sometimes and say y'all and ain't a lot but it's definitely not recognizable as a southern accent.

I want to sound like that, but it feels wrong to try and talk with that accent now, because my family doesn't sound like that and I don't live in the south anymore. Even though I was born there, it still feels like I'm not from there, you know? Like I would be stealing something that's not mine.

It just sucks. Especially when I hear people constantly talk shit about the south and how everyone there is stupid and ugly and racist and evil and it's like, ''Oh. Maybe if I lived there a few more years they would hate me like that too."

A lot of time I see people talking about how much it sucks to grow up in a certain culture, but I never see people talk about how much it sucks to grow up without a specific culture(s).

The worst thing is when people ask where I'm from or where I grew up, and I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

So thank you for your blog. I know the south and appalachia are different, with different cultures and climates and people, but it still makes me feel like I can experience something I never got to.

hi there. this is not weird at ALL.

its a topic very near to my heart really. thanks so much for sharing your story not only because it's yours and i want to know it, but because it resonates with me SO hard, and i don't really talk to anyone who was constantly on the move as a kid and questions their identity because of it.

long post below, as is usually the case with me and this subject.

first i wanna say: i agree that the deep south and appalachia are certainly unique from one another, but to me, they share more similarities than they do differences. your story only cements that in my mind.

we have similar politics, are embarrassed by similar stereotypes, have shameful collective histories. we have similar flavors of self-work and unlearning to do. even the accents overlap.

we also know the same struggle of trying to be louder than our region, how it feels to have our individual voices swallowed up by people who don't want to hear it because they've already decided what they think about us as if we are some monolith.

what i mean is you definitely belong in this community, and i'm so glad you are here!

now for the emotional bits: i hate making these sorts of asks about me, but i sometimes feel at a loss as how else to communicate my empathy in this specific situation.

i just hope my experience can extend a sense of solidarity and understanding to how you're feeling, as mine mirrors your own very closely. i can seriously like feel the pain radiating off of this ask and i just want you to feel seen and heard.

"The worst thing is when people ask where I'm from or where I grew up, and I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

this kicked me in the stomach, because same. it's why being "from appalachia" is so integral to my identity. i'm not from a town or even a state. all i have is the region.

i've talked about this before on here, but my dad was a contractor, and we moved every year or two as well. the longest i stayed in one town was three years, and it happened only once.

i agree that moving around a lot was good in some ways, but, like you, it left me without a sense of belonging.

looking back as an adult, i realize how badly all of that moving fucked me up. i don't have a hometown in the traditional sense. i'm not "from" anywhere.

a lot of my childhood belongings i no longer have because everything seemed to get lost in the moves. i feel like i am scattered across a region, and i am nowhere.

its so bad that, as silly as it is, i get irrationally upset at something as innocent as when i am with someone who has lived in a place most of their life, and they can easily give directions there because they know the place so well. i can't do that with anywhere and so i feel bitter.

i myself moved around consistently in appalachia/the south, though, so i still grew up in the area, as generally as one could. so i also spent most of my late childhood and preteen yearsgetting rid of the accent. i didn't want to sound "stupid" or be lumped in with the racists and the stereotypes of the region.

i thought it made me better than other kids who spoke with the accent, because back then, i hadn't started the self-work i have since undergone and ripped all that hateful internalized bullshit up.

i regret it every day now that i'm learning to love where i'm from--appalachia and the south as a region. i regret ever buying into what i was told about myself and getting rid of all markers of it.

i get it, anon. i really do and i love you and i'm sorry.

THIS IS ALL TO SAY VERY VERY LOUDLY:

you. are. from. there.

you were born in the south. you was raised by a presumably southern family. even if you wasn't, they had to take pieces of mississippi with them. culture is not a static thing--it goes where you go.

you can't steal what's already yours. the accent is yours to use. it feels awkward in your mouth when you try to get it back but that's just because it needs to get comfortable in there again. it doesn't mean you're faking or stealing. it means you are reconnecting, and reunions can sometimes be a little awkward.

don't hold yourself up to rigid standards or fall victim to any gatekeeping, outward or inward. only you get to define who you are, and it seems like you know who that is supposed to be.

i hope you can start to feel a little more at home in your identity. i know what a special hell it is. thank you so so much for being here <3333

#asks #southeast usa #southern dialect #appalachian dialect #txt

[suchawrathfullamb]

I'd been considering sending this ask for some time because it's a bit embarrassing but what the hell – it's 3:30 am and I will!

I started using tumblr around December last year to look up Hannibal content. Your blog was one of the first I found and really fell in love with. I loved your analyses and headcanons and I read your new posts and your old posts and everything else I could find.

As it happened, I was spending Christmas alone last year (it's complicated…) and I was, well, quite sad about it. And so what I did was go on tumblr, not even interact with posts because I wasn't sure how it worked, read Hannigram fanfiction (I was also COMPLETELY new to fanfiction as I'd never read any before), eat tangerines and store-bought food and sleep through most of the day. And, of course, rewatch Hannibal! I think with your posts I went quite deep into the older ones and I even had notifs on for when you'd post (I hope that's not too weird!).

Anyway, what I mean to say is that being in a fandom (I'd never been in one before! and no, I'm not very young) and seeing other people, and especially you, post IN SUCH DEPTH about the show and the characters I love… Even though I didn't reblog anything, it still made me feel less alone, somehow. I kind of started feeling a sense of community, I guess? And so I WASN'T completely alone; I was starting to feel like I might become part of that group maybe – maybe I might learn the tumblr etiquette and the do's and don'ts around it. And I did! (for the most part – I still don't quite get everything lol)

Sorry, I tend not to be very succinct. In essence, I wanted to thank you for making me feel less alone on Christmas when my family stood me up <3

What a lovely message! I'm sorry about your family, I usually have a pretty quiet christmas, too, usually just me and my partner, our families don't tend to care that much, so I definitely get the feeling. I'm so so happy that my craziness is helpful and entertaining, and I hope you keep enjoying your experience on the fandom, I haven't been here for long but I am also finding this sense of community and yeah <3 anyway, thank you for sending this, it's always so nice to read these thoughtful messages!

#fandom things #cute asks #nbc hannibal #hannigram #hannibal #will graham #murder husbands #hannibal lecter

[ventbloglite]

The way Israeli Zionists are using the long history of Jewish suffering against those who are now suffering and dying at their hands and against those from outside the warzone who wish to end that suffering and support Palestinian rights to be alive is sick. It's manipulative. Imagine looking at the suffering of your people and going; "I can use this to freely commit genocide on a different kind of people and escape criticism. Anything they do, anything anyone does, except sit and take it, will be deemed anti-semitic which we all know is considered morally the worst thing ever and will make people think of Nazi's, so shutting down negative conversation about us and help for them." And imagine that fucking working.

#there are babies under the age of one some unnamed because their families are all dead being slaughtered but we can't speak about about it #if we actually point out who did it just because some actual nazis are using the conflict to push their doctrine #and I'm sorry but if there's any part of your holy text that justifies murder because it's 'in your promised land' maybe #just maybe that's a part you need to ignore and understand does not apply to real world lives being lost just so you can live in a there #I guess I don't get it because I'm not religious but it just seems absolutely sick #the way that the Torah does indeed seem to say that it's ok to do as they are doing #but I know it's not a strict rule because so many of the large Jewish community near me are incredibly against what is happening #and they are fully Orthodox and just as Jewish as they come but also good people who don't think God wants them to spill this blood #we need to put aside religion and beliefs and look at the facts and the facts are horrible

[rubys-domain]

i might be terrible for feeling like this. but the sheer amount of schadenfreude i have after finding out that freminet is likely going to be a shit unit is through the roof lmao

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !! #> from watching the zajef prerelease video on him #so i main chongyun right? that means (despite me trying to minmax even though i know my f2p damage will never measure up to spenders) #i generally don't care if the numbers are bad if a unit feels fun to play #hell even if the character is op i would be 90% less likely to use them if i didn't have fun using them (looking at you kuki) #but his kit looks like i'm not gonna enjoy it too #which leaves me with zero motivation to pull on the childe/zhongli banner now #now to watch zajef's lyney video and see if i get tempted to pull for him or if my primos will be safely stashed away for future banners #yknow. i kinda wish i mained a meta dps. or was inclined to main any of the meta dps's #quite frankly all the meta dps's gameplay bore me to death #i'm not saying this because i'm starting to dislike chongyun #i fully intend to be the most obsessive whale solely to optimize this exorcist boy far beyond the boundaries of reason #(that day is not coming anytime soon but you get the picture right? i'm still very much a ride or die for this lil guy) #i'm just tired of people calling him a shit unit. even on r/popsiclemains ppl call him suboptimal or subpar #i know all of those things are true #but it's not surprising that hearing it basically every single time he's mentioned is going to take its toll eventually either，is it? #this is why i just don't bother trying to be part of any community. with any kind of media，i'm someone whom ppl would say has “bad taste” #i just wish chongyun had a niche but still decent playstyle that he's unarguably the best at #being the best shatter dps is not it since shatter's numbers are basically terrible no matter what you do #if they somehow buff shatter in fontaine (since freminet's kit wants to shatter) then maybe i'll make it my main playstyle. but yeah... #the only times i bring out my shatter team are when fighting against pyro/electro enemies，or farming mushrooms #i guess it'd be nice to have zhongli since layla does disrupt reactions that i want chong to be the one proccing #but i just don't feel like breaking my back for yet another 5 star after how long it took to get kokomi #and he's basically guaranteed a rerun in natlan anyway so yeah... #i'm gonna be honest. now that i have kokomi，my motivation to pull for anyone else is almost nonexistent #maybe nilou so i can use kokomi as a driver. but other than her... unless natlan characters are really fucking cool #besides albedo and venti，i don't think i'll ever pull for a new 5 star ever again #after those three i'd only be pulling for vertical investment #or begrudgingly pulling for utility like zhongli

[iwonderwh0]

I'm still kind of a newbie here and tumblr block culture is honestly so wild. I don't want to block anybody (except for pornbots) for anything unless people are getting personally mean. If you're mean I'll probably just tell you personally that I don't appreciate that and will hope that things will improve and we can co-exist peacefully. I try not to talk about anything that can be seen as an attempt to shit on something because it's damn upsetting, and I know that. Like I'm sure that irl I'd probably get along with most of the people I share a common interest even if we don't agree on some part of it, because you know, usually people don't want to be enemies with anyone they have more things in common than not. It's so easy to put someone in a hater category based on some bullshit, it's so easy to assume the worst in people based on one short interaction that more than likely wasn't even intended to be an attempt to upset or offend anyone, although some folks sure as hell are often forgetting to tone down their regular spite level when they're talking to people online.

I'm not trying to say that it's better to do the same, like who am I to argue with the kind of culture that formed through the years and that generally work for people to keep them out of upsetting things. It's just weird to me, that's all

I don't care if people have opinion different than mine, I actually LOVE to hear different perspectives. I only hate it when it's getting from genuine dialogue into just some "I hate X people because they're stupid for thinking Y"

So

Chances to get blocked by me are extremely low. And even if we argue about something it's more than likely that I still think about you as a nice person and don't automatically wish to never see you again (unless I specifically state otherwise). People often disagree irl and that's OK, no need to assume that we're some arch-enemies just because we had one argument and disagreed on something or miscommunicated

Probably just a newbie stupid talk and at some point I'll start to block people for some minor things just because it's actually normal and expected thing here. But for now it just seems to be mean-spirited thing based on worst possible assumptions that are probably not even true. Just an upsetting thing to see.

#just rambling #maybe I'm just saying this because I used to be a part of a community that was just hating on every second person in it #community that in spite of that existed so close to each individual member of it that it was practically impossible to block anyone #like I'm surprised how I managed to endure that level of toxicity without getting enemies #Nothing to do with me tho I just got lucky not to get my personal data leaked #so I kinda just formed this opinion that blocking people is pointless because everyone is creating a bunch of fake accounts almost daily #yea it wasn't a tumbr thing #things are different here #i understand #but anyway #I guess some people just like to be haters

[kaijutegu]

Today I was talking with my mom about why seeing an alligator is fundamental to my mental health. At first she laughed but I got her to listen and she gets it now. My psychiatrist and I call this the alligator litmus test, and it works really well for making decisions about my treatment. I bring this up because perhaps there is something in your life that you can use in a similar fashion.

I have severe major depressive disorder, and I treat this depression with medication. I've been on meds for about... seven years now, and sometimes we have to mess with them. But sometimes the emotional part of the depression is just super bad and there's something underneath that needs to be addressed. When we are figuring this out, my psychiatrist says to take one alligator and call her in the morning.

See, no matter how bad I'm feeling, seeing an alligator almost always cheers me up in the moment. (This works with other large crocodilians, too- they gotta be big, it doesn't work with caimans. I don't know why.) I can't look at their goofy toofers and beautiful eyes and bumpy hides and not be a little wowed by them. Millions of years of evolution have led to this amazing creature and they are completely unbothered by me. Almost all of the time, they make me feel happy. Or maybe I'll feel sad for some unspecified reason. Maybe I'll get worried about the ecosystem or something- but invariably, I will FEEL.

Unless, of course, it's my brain chemistry. If I can experience an alligator and not feel anything- not happy, not sad, just numb- there's something wrong and we should talk about adjusting my meds. Usually with a little tweaking I'm back to my very functional medicated baseline in quick order- instead of wasting time with coping skills and such alone when what I really need is brain chemicals, it's a much quicker way to communicate what's going on with me. At the same time, it also helps me know when the coping skills ARE likely to work without changing up my meds, or when there's something I need to work through with some help.

It's a pretty solid test. Might not work for anyone else on the planet, but it works great for me!

#mental health #the alligator litmus test

[pussy-ache]

i mean really

#sometimes i think ... like oh maybe it was simply a case of me caring for her more than she cared for me #that seems to keep happening to me #but no #that phone call proved that i wasn't crazy or imagining it or being too forward or forcing anything #she's just entirely afraid of commitment and wants her cake and to eat it too #and it's like fine ... i don't even have THAT much of an issue with her polyamory #i think the issue is she sucks at communication #she wanted to make things more serious with me but only in theory. in reality she knew she would not be able to commit to me #and instead of Literally Just Saying That so i could bow out gracefully #she decided to string me along with promises instead #which really fucks with the head like she had me thinking i was imagining some parts of what we had in terms of how deep it was #and i don't use ''gaslighting'' lightly so i won't but i'd say she came pretty close to it #i was fine with her polyamory at first because it wasn't serious. #she then pushed me towards becoming more serious with her using empty promises #i'm glad she finally fucking admitted it. i just wanted her to say it. cuz i know we both know it's true #but i'm the type of person who is not actually going to say it for you to let you off the hook #i kept her on that hook for like a fucking year now. you want me to answer texts but can't answer to your past behavior? no. #you're not going to pick & choose which parts of me are worthwhile and which aren't. i won't let you. #and she knew that which is why she just kept lying to me AND herself about her nonexistent emotional maturity #she played me SPECIFICALLY because she knew i knew my own worth at that time #and she knew if she was honest i would have left a solid 6-8 months sooner than i did #and they all saw how she acted at that party. they know exactly how that shit blew up in her face and i fucking laughed and i'd do it again #i do not walk away from people or cut people off without very solid very specific reasons #the universe took care of it for me. we're barely friends now and that's fine with me in a lot of ways #go grow some more. develop a clearer understanding of yourself. your needs and your wants. and how to differentiate between them. #and leave me tf out of it #like i don't even have any interest in being her friend or in her life lmao

[odinsblog]

“I first started noticing the journalists dying on Instagram. I'm a journalist, I'm Arab, and I've reported on war. A big part of my community is other Arab journalists who do the same thing.

And when someone dies, news travels fast. Recently, I pulled up the list that the Committee to Protect Journalists has been keeping and looked at it for the first time. There are 95 journalists and media workers on it as of today.

Almost everyone on it is Palestinian. Scrolling through, I started to get angry. These were the people carrying the burden of documenting this whole war.

Israel is not allowing foreign journalists into Gaza, except on rare occasions with military escorts. These people's names are being buried in a giant list that keeps growing. What I want to do is lift some of them off the list for a moment and give you a glimpse of who they were and the work they made.

I'll start with Sadi Mansour. Sadi was the director of Al-Quds News Network, and he posted a 22-second video on November 18. That was a report from the war, but it also gave me a picture into his marriage.

Sadi's wearing his press vest and looks exhausted. He's explaining that cell service and the Internet keep getting cut off, and it's often impossible to text or call anyone, including his wife. So they've resorted to using handwritten letters to communicate while he's out reporting, sending them back and forth with neighbors or colleagues.

He ends the video with a picture of one of these letters from his wife. In it, she writes,

‘Me and the kids stayed up waiting for you until the morning, and you didn't come home. We were really sad.

I kept telling the kids, Look, he's coming. But you didn't show up. May God forgive you.

Come home tomorrow and eat with us. Do you want me to make you kebab or maybe kapse? Bring your friends with you, it's okay.

And give Azeez the battery to charge. What do you think about me sending you handwritten letters with messenger pigeons from now on? Ha ha ha.

I'm just kidding. I want to curse at you, but we're living in a war. Too bad.

Okay, I love you. Bye.’

A few hours after he shared that letter, Sadie and his co-worker Hassouna Saleem were at Sadie's home, when they were killed by an Israeli air strike that hit his house.

His wife and kids, who weren't there, survived.

Gaza is tiny, and the journalist community is really close. Reading the list, you can see all the connections between people. Like with Brahim Lafi.

Brahim was a photojournalist, one of the first journalists to die. He was killed while reporting on October 7. He was just 21, still new to journalism.

On his Instagram, you can see that in his posts just a few years ago, he was still practicing his photography, taking pictures of coffee cups and flowers. Then he started doing beautiful portraits and action shots. You can really feel him starting to become a journalist.

Clicking around on Instagram, I found a tribute post about Brahim from his co-worker Rushdie Sarraj. In this photo, Brahim staring intently at the back of a camera, his face lit up by the light from the viewfinder. He looks so young.

The caption reads, My assistant is gone. Brahim is gone. Rushdie himself was a beloved journalist and filmmaker.

And I know that because he's also on the list. He was killed just two weeks after Brahim. I read the tribute post to him too.

I saw this over and over again. Journalists posting tributes, who were then killed themselves soon after. And a tribute goes up for them.

And then the pattern continues.

Thank you.

Something else I saw over and over on the list, journalists later in the war who had become aware that they could be making their last reports. They'd say it at the beginning of their videos. And those were the hardest to watch, especially when it was true.

One video like that was posted by Ayat Hadduro. Ayat was a freelance journalist and video blogger. Her videos before the war covered a wide range from what I can tell, interviews about women in politics.

She even appeared in a commercial for ketchup-flavored chips. She clearly liked being in front of the camera. Once the war started, Ayat's pivoted to covering bombings and food shortages.

On November 20, she posted a video report from her home. You can hear the airstrikes hitting very close to where she is. It's scary.

‘This is likely my last video. Today, the occupation forces dropped phosphorus bombs on Beit Lahya area and frightening sound bombs. They dropped letters from the sky, ordering everyone to evacuate.

Everyone ran into the streets in the craziest way. No one knows where to go.

But everyone else has evacuated. They don't know where they're going. The situation is so scary.

What's happening is so tough, and may God have mercy on us.’

She was killed later that day.

Targeting journalists, in case you didn't know, is a war crime. So far, the Committee to Protect Journalists has found that three of the journalists on the list were explicitly targeted by the IDF, the Israeli military. Investigations by the Washington Post and Reuters, Human Rights Watch and the United Nations have also raised serious questions in these three cases.

And the Committee to Protect Journalists is investigating 10 other killings. When we reached out to the IDF for comments, they said, quote, the IDF has never, and will never, deliberately target journalists. That's the answer they always give in these situations.

Meanwhile, dozens of seasoned reporters have fled Gaza. Journalists who worked for Al Jazeera, the BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Reuters, Agence France-Presse. So many media offices were demolished in Israeli airstrikes that the Committee to Protect Journalists stopped counting.

It's not just individual lives that have been destroyed. It's an entire infrastructure.

Thank you.

The name on the list that was hardest for me to look at was Issam Abdullah, because I'd crossed paths with him once. Issam was a Lebanese journalist, a video journalist for Reuters for many, many years. He had just won an award for coverage of Ukraine.

I'm Lebanese and still report there sometimes, and I'd worked with Issam a couple of summers ago. He helped me film a sort of random story in Beirut. I was interviewing this entrepreneur who had started a sperm freezing company after an accident where he spilled a tray of hot coffee on his private area, burning himself.

I know, ridiculous. It was a really silly shoot. Right after we said cut and started to rap, Issam started this whole bit about being in his late 30s, reconsidering his own sperm quality and everything he now realized he was doing to hurt it, and no one could stop laughing.

It was a really good day that felt good to remember and to remember him that way. Issam was killed by the IDF on October 13. His death was one of the three that the Committee to Protect Journalists has identified as a targeted killing.

He was fired upon by an Israeli tank while standing in an empty field on the Lebanon-Israel border with a small group of other journalists. Everyone was wearing press vests with cameras out. They were covering the Hezbollah part of this war.

A few other journalists were injured in the attack, which was captured on video. The IDF says they were responding to firing from Hezbollah, not targeting the journalists. But multiple investigations, including by Reuters, the United Nations, Amnesty International and the AFP, found no evidence of any firing from the location of the journalists before the IDF shot at them.

The journalists in the group and video footage confirmed that there was no military activity near them. I had only met Issam once, barely knew him, but it affected me so much when he died. I know that he understood the risks of his job, but somehow it still felt so random and unfair that he would be struck down like that, following the rules, wearing his press vest and helmet, and a pack of reporters on a sunny day in an open field.

I find myself thinking about him all the time. His last Instagram post was commemorating another journalist, this iconic reporter Shereen Abou Aql who had been killed by the IDF. When I first saw that post in October, I thought how ironic because a week later, Isam also was killed by the IDF.

But then, after spending time reading the list, I realized how common this had become. I still haven't finished going through the list and looking up the people on it. I keep finding things that stick with me, like the funny way this one radio host would cut off a caller who was rambling on for too long.

A tweet from reporter Al-Abdallah that quoted Sylvia Plath. It read, What ceremony of wars can patch the havoc? I'm going to keep going down the list, even though this story is over now.

Just for myself. My own way of bearing witness. Which is, in the end, all that these journalists were trying to do.”

—DANA BALLOUT, The 95. Dana sifts through a very long list—the list of journalists killed in the Israel-Hamas war, and comes back with five small fragments of the lives of the people on it. Dana is a Lebanese-American, Emmy-nominated documentary producer.

#politics #dana ballout #the 95 #palestine #israel #war crimes #gaza #committee to protect journalists #🇵🇸 #brahim lafi #shereen abou aql #issam abdullah #ayat hadduro #rushdie sarraj #hassouna saleem #sadi mansour

[decolonize-the-left]

I saw your post about the leopards eating faces and democrats and if you think the us is bad under biden have a good look through project 2025 and please fucking realize that queer people, those that can get pregnant, and people of color are going to be absolutely fucked if trump wins in November.

Sigh

If you ACTUALLY read it then you'd know Biden is ALREADY carrying out the goals outlined in project2025. You'd also know that his administration is even using the SAME exact language that's found in the Mandate for Leadership. Such as "protecting the freedom of navigation in the Suez Canal"

I literally have a post floating around somewhere where I said he was gonna escalate the genocide and smoke out all the rebel groups because guess what? Project2025 outlined that too. Literally listed them as targets that the administration should focus on.

Another part of it says they should continue to protect and support Israel's "right to defend itself" at any cost.

So yeah that thing you're afraid of? It's here. And it's here because you thought the fascist with a blue tie was less scary than a fascist than a red tie so you stopped paying attention when Blue Tie Man was around. And that blue Fascism that's allowing book bans and abortion bans and making trans people illegal is going to stay here and grow because you don't fucking care to address it unless the tie is red.

Maybe fucking read the thing you're trying to fearmonger me about because I guarantee I've read more of it than you.

And it's not that I find the realities in it less scary, it's that I'm not such a privileged shithead that I would prioritize my own comfort over lives being lost in a literal fucking genocide.

Yeah shit sucks for queer people and trans people and trust me, I know that, but we aren't being killed in broad fucking daylight and having people go into denial about it so maybe instead of barking up MY blog about how fucked up everything is you go and send the DNC and your representatives some emails and tell them to give Democrats a candidate that doesnt commit genocide?

How about instead of yelling at me to lower my standards cuz things MIGHT get scarier for you if Blue Tie Man doesn't beat trump (and he won't) you ACCEPT that reality and DO SOMETHING USEFUL about it. How about you and your party just BE BETTER????

There's seven months before the elections and Biden is tanking every poll and Democrats are voting uncommited in swing states and what's Biden doing? Doubling down on every single policy that he's losing voters over (like supporting Israel). If he loses that's not my fault or anyone else's.

Maybe stop asking people to vote for a warmongering white supremacist.

"think of the queers and pregnant people and PoC"

I Am.

They live in Palestine and Sudan and the DRC.

Or did you mean I should prioritize different queers and pregnant people and PoC?

Don't be shy. Did you mean I should prioritize you?

Cuz yeah. Fuck that.

(white) USamerican citizens prioritizing ourselves over everyone else is exactly how the world got so fucked up.

I'm NOT voting for Biden under any fucking circumstances, don't waste my time with another bullshit uninformed scare mongering ask like this again just cuz YOU lack the solidarity to care about any community but your own.

The fuck?

Do you think the queer community only counts Americans? What an ignorant thing to say. "Think of minority communites but only from this specific part of the world"

You wouldn't know community if it hit you in the fucking face.

#asked #answered #project2025 #queer #lgbt #poc #reproductive rights #bodily autonomy #the fact you separated PoC from queer and pregnant people is Weird As Fuck also btw like just say youre a white supremacist ffs #biden #2024 #vote

[tossawary]

At the end of "Fullmetal Alchemist", Ed Elric quits the military, has given up his ability to "play god", and is (as he has been since he burned his fucking house down as a tweenager) homeless, disabled, and crashing at the Rockbell place to help his very sick brother recover.

And it's easy and funny to imagine Edward Elric essentially becoming the house husband of successful and innovative automail mechanic Winry Rockbell (and later a stay-at-home dad). Small family businesses are pretty much always a mess of needing an extra hand just to answer phones and the mail, to schedule appointments, to deliver and pick up parts, to organize stock, to "just hold this for a second for me", and so on. Pinako is not getting any younger and could use someone to cook dinner and fix the roof while she rests her back!!! Winry is busy!!!

There is also always a lot to do in a rural community, so I'm sure that Ed would find another hobby in the absence of alchemy and could turn it into a gig if necessary, if he really doesn't like automail. He has a lot of skills that he could potentially turn towards an income. I've also generally assumed that Ed made a pretty decent amount of money as a State Alchemist and still has some generous savings on that front.

But I was also thinking that it would be kind of funny if being a State Alchemist came with incredible retirement benefits. Like, the military wants to lure people in with wealth and power and resources - and then make alchemists desperate enough to keep these things that they become walking weapons of war, commit horrible crimes against humanity in the name of "research", and/or resort to human transmutation and become viable sacrifices. Ed never had to worry about getting kicked out (and presumably losing his benefits) because he was a perfect human sacrifice from the get-go (although he didn't know this). I'm guessing a lot of State Alchemists were never actually able to retire between dying in wars, failing out of the program (the brass finding excuses to save money! Bosses are always cheap!), getting arrested for speaking out or actually getting caught publicly doing bad shit, and being murdered for their crimes against humanity.

But, in theory, maybe the State Alchemist retirement benefits were absolutely incredible if you could somehow survive long enough or get permission for an early, "honorable" retirement, because King Bradley (who let's say set up this financial bait) somewhat reasonably assumed that Father would completely destroy the country before he'd ever have to pay out a pension. Which means that Ed could be out of the military for years and somehow still costing Roy Mustang a lot of money.

#tossawary fma #edward elric #king bradley #winry rockbell #spoilers #character death #violence

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

#discourse cw #transmisogyny cw

[collaredkittyboy]

Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.

I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.

I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."

So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.

I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.

No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.

So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.

I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?

I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.

Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."

#i know i sound annoying and woke but this is my blog and i can post whatever i want :3 #theres so much more to say but this is long enough as it is #no ones gonna read this anyway #gay #queer issues #fatphobia #cw ed mention