#me and my disease of liking my men dumb LMAO

[doki-doki-imagines]

Kisses

tw: some suggestive, nsfw (Johnny Cage one)

author note: another idea I needed to write out. Hope you'll enjoy reading those!

If there is something Raiden can’t stand is seeing you cry; tears and snot don’t suit you. Raiden’s warm hands cup your face, calloused hands against your soft cheeks, thumbs brushing the remaining tears  “Come with me” he whispers, chocolate brown eyes looking at you with such passion they almost make you forget all your problems.

He takes you to the field where he spends most of his day “The stars here are brighter than anywhere else” he tells you, voice strong and reassuring before sitting on the ground next to you.

Words escape your mouth like a waterfall, no filter, brain shut, just the need to share, something you are not used to do.

Raiden listens to you, eyes never leaving your face, while you look at the starry sky, your eyes always elsewhere, too worried you’d lose the thread of the discourse if your eyes happened to meet.

“If I know something is that everything other than death has a solution.“ His forefinger push behind your ear a strand of your hair, the action makes you jerk, eyes widening and finally, you look at him.

There isn’t much light, but the moon frames his face perfectly. You can see a reddish hue coloring his cheeks, and a smile full of hope that makes your heart thump with joy “I’m sorry I can’t offer you a better answer, but-“ his hands grip your arms, strong, but without hurting, his strength perfectly stable “Never let yourself down, life will get better believe me.” You bite your tongue “It never does Raiden” you’d like to reply, but his words carry so much hope that you can only nod at him.

He lifts himself up from the ground and extends his hand out to help you.

“Thanks” You say after minutes of silence, your steps on the ground the only sound, not even cicadas try to interrupt.

“For the hand? It really is no-“

“For the company, for your words.” You look at him, now standing in front of your room. You kiss his cheek and wish him goodnight, a shy smile appears on his face as he waves at you.

The newfound warmness spreading from your heart is a new problem you’ll have to learn how to deal with in the next few months, for now, you can only rest and wait for a new day to start.

“You finally woke up, you idiot.” Tomas could recognize that voice between millions of others, so sweet and so caring even if they just called him an idiot.

Grey eyes scan the room, he’s in the infirmary bed, at Madame Bo restaurant. He and Kuai Liang got ambushed not that far and he remembers getting hit at the back of his head; that stung a lot.

“Do you know who I am?” Your voice trembles and Tomas has the urge to coo at you; obviously, he knows who you are, his heart keeps thrumming mercilessly against his ribcage the moment he opened his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, who do you think I am? A simple knock on the head won’t either kill me or make me lose my memory.” He half teases, but the scowl is still stuck on your face.

“Tomas-“ Your voice is serious and he can only look at you, at your trembling lips and shiny eyes “I seriously thought I lost you.” Your arms envelop his figure, your face hidden resting on top of his right shoulder,  new warmth adding to Tomas one.

He is stuck in place, but his mind is running wild. His left hand pats your head and he feels the corner of his lips twitching.

You must care about him a lot.

You lift your head up, your teary eyes locking into his gray ones, pupils wide, so deep he may lose himself in them. Tomas feels the time slowing down, almost stopping, your lips inching closer and closer ‘till they finally touch.

He reciprocates, not a single second lost, your lips dancing and searching for each other, breath mingling, tongue fighting in a battle of supremacy, both wanting to feel more of each other. Tomas pulls you towards him and your body falls onto his, chest against chest, heart beating at the same rhythm, divided by the layers of your clothing. Limbs tangle, hands everywhere, caressing and groping;  from an outside view, it wouldn’t be able to tell where one starts and the other one ends.

This ‘till your hand pulls Tomas’ hair. He breaks the kiss and flinch, maybe that was more than a little hit on the head. He can see you try to pull off from him, eyes full of worry, but his hands keep you in place, on his lap, fingers leaving indent on your hips that will for sure bruise.

“I-I shouldn’t have, sorry Tomas.” Your hands, so tiny and soft in contrast to his ones, push against his chest, like you are trying to distance yourself from him, head turned to the side not looking at him.

Your hair messy, your lips still red and bruised, and that worried expression, fuck, Tomas would like to frame his moment, your cuteness overwhelming all his senses.

Then you both hear a voice, it’s Madame Bo telling you to go back to work, the signal that he has to let you go. You remove yourself, Tomas’ hands finally loosening up. You brush your clothes in place and rush towards the exit.

“See you later” Tomas rasps out.

You nod.

Later you’ll have more time to talk about your feelings.

“Johnny-“ A breathy moan escapes your mouth.

The atmosphere is humid, the heat of your two bodies entangled is almost suffocating.

You missed Johnny, this new project he has been working on keeps him away from home for months. You are a supportive partner, you love him and you want to see him happy but, fuck, you missed him so much.

You are lucky he is on your same wavelength. He opens the door and your lips are already locked, hands unbuttoning shirts and pants being thrown somewhere.

“I missed you so much, Johnny.” You gasp in between kisses, your hand on the back of his neck to keep him impossibly close to you.

He groans, his hands now on your lower back lifting you up from the ground.

Everything else is a blur in your mind, you soon find yourself lying on the bed, legs open and Johnny working his tongue southward, your warm sex as inviting as water in the desert.

“Fuck-“ Your hand lay on his head, trying not to grip to harshly his dirty blonde locks.

“Yeah baby, tell me how good I am.” You look down to see his hips grind against the mattress, so desperate for you.

A wave of pleasure licks down your spine, your eyes roll back, throat exposed while you bit your bottom lip trying to keep a louder moan.

How good it is to be desired.

“J-Johnny you are so go-“ Your phrase gets interrupted by a gasp, a particular flick of his tongue makes you see stars, your legs reflexively close, but Johnny’s strong hands keep your thighs apart, fingers circling the inner side and you don’t know if it is done to calm you or him.

One of his hand leave your legs to play with your sex, his face now squeezed between your soft thighs, but your mind is too fogged to worry about crushing him, not that he minded his motions only getting faster and uncoordinated.

An orgasm soon permeates your body, Johnny lifts up, his lips drenched with your essence, his pupils blown wide, your heartbeat impossibly fast, a different kind of heat enveloping your limbs.

Your lips meet again, you taste your flavor on his tongue, lips locking, his hands now resting on your waist, pushing your chests impossibly close, but not enough, never enough.

“I love you.”

The night ahead is still long.

Bi-Han is awake, sitting on your bedding, naked, but the covers hide everything under the navel. The moon shines bright in the sky,  the light and shades framing his lover's body sleeping soundly next to him.

Bi-Han is a man eaten by greed, by pride, a man made more of scars than flesh.

But you love him and he loves you. It’s a feeling he never knew, it isn’t the kind of warmth he got from his mother's compliments, or from his brother's support, it is something much more exhilarating, that makes his eyes soften and his hardened core melt more than he’d like to admit.

His eyes land on your body, so soft, so sweet, he wants to defend you from all the ugliness of this world.

Maybe from him too.

He looks outside the window, the night is still long, but there is no sign of tiredness in his eyes.

“Bi-Han, it is late you should sleep.” Bi-Han breaths, he didn’t even notice how long he had been keeping his breath in, mind so busy and heart uneasy.

Your arms wrap around his neck, naked body laying on his back, your lips kissing his neck, where arteries and veins flow.

“Worried about something?”  Your eyes look at his face, he doesn’t look back but he knows, searching for any telltale sign of his emotions.

“Nothing you should worry about sparrow.” He breathes out, voice raspy as always.

You don’t believe him, he knows it. Your hand starts to trace the scars painting his skin, your lips barely caressing the newborn scratches on his back.

 “Tell me your worries, my heart.” Your arms hug his frame and push him down together with you.

Bi-Han doesn’t struggle against your hold, his head now in the crook of your neck, free hair tickling you.

“Don’t worry about me, tomorrow is a busy day and you need to rest.”  He kisses the tip of your nose, his calloused hand caresses your cheek, thick fingers drawing circles on your skin.

You kiss him, in a slow liplock. Eyes closed, hands holding.

Bi-Han bites your bottom lips before breaking the kiss and you groan, the only kind he likes.

He looks into your eyes and he only finds love, sweet and blissful. A new fire starts inside his heart.

Bi-Han still doesn’t know how to protect you from this accursed world, for now, he’ll have to settle for showing how much he loves you.

#mk1 x reader #mk1 imagine #mk1 x you #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat x reader #mk1 smoke #mk1 raiden #mk1 johnny cage #mk1 bi han #mk1 sub zero #obvs the first smutty fic for mk is for Johnny #me and my disease of liking my men dumb LMAO

[ventiswampwater]

do you think Bo really fucking loves orange juice or was he just looking for quick sugars to counter the blood loss?? also why did he think to do that. does he think getting nailed with an arrow to the chest is the same as donating to the Red Cross?? does he know what the Red Cross is??? whose waffle is that?? how do u just leave a waffle in there?? I bet he cooked it once and it wasn't cooked enough. so he pushed it down again for another round and then it got burnt. and he looked at it and said "dadgummit not again" and left it there to be someone else's problem. and it was the last one and Vincent came upstairs and all the waffles were gone except that one. and he sighed and looked at it for a long time. and when he saw it again in the toaster while he's fixing his damn face and his dumbass sweaty brother is like "lulul god n mama n stuff" Vincent was like. I've never seen the ocean. I bet I could drive to the ocean in, what, four hours?? buy a box of waffles on the way home. this bitch is still talking. you know he talks to himself all the time. he does an Elvis impression in the mirror sometimes. it's not good. I'm gonna do it. I'm going to the ocean. motherfucker drank all the juice too. goddammit. I hate this fucking family. wish I was adopted like Lester. "there's two more." yeah I know. idiot. there were six. what have you been doing?? having sexy garage time?? christ you suck. how are we related. where's the guy with the crossbow I'd like to have a word. he needs to work on his aim. I'll put you in a headlock and let him practice. fuck you're sweaty you smell like ass. stay ten feet away from me please. yeah whatever I'll help you I guess. already been helping but it's fine, mr. never-leave-here-without-me. mr. mayor of wax town. I crush the seniors at bingo at the country club every Wednesday and you haven't even noticed I'm gone. too busy playing every single role in Our Town by yourself. moron.

JDSFHJFHSJHFSDJHFJHFJD MEG

BACKWASHING INTO THIS ORANGE JUICE!!!!

HEATHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when I watched this movie for the first time last year I entirely thought that man FULLY picked up a jug of lukewarm tang off the counter and just slurped it down. bc I missed the sound of him opening the fridge jsfhjhdsfjhdsf. and I was like GODDAMN THIS SET DESIGN IS OFF THE SHITS THIS IS REALLY HOW MEN BE LIVIN. HJFDSHJHFDSJ LUKEWARM TANG ON THE COUNTER

he's so stupid dumb delirious in that scene I've watched it 37874949328 times. just like. immediately deciding to YANK that shit through his arm hsdghgfsdhgfdhs. all of the blood that was channeled directly into his murder boner in the previous scenes has made him lightheaded and he is not THINKING CLEARLY hjdsjhfsjdhsd the fact that he doesn't think to snip it off. just PULLS that THANG straight through his stupid dumb idiot arm!!! the nerve damage!!! he is so sexy for that I love a dumbass man more than anything fr

VINCENT PONDERING THE LACK OF EGGO WAFFLES BC BO WAS TOO BUSY SEDUCING HIS TOOTHPASTE STAINS IN THE MIRROR TO NOT BURN THE LAST ONE JSDJDFHJFDS

sexy garage time is taking me out jhsdajhdsajhajsdhjdsh imagine all the years of vincent being responsible for the majority of the killcount bc bo goes oogabooga I want sum fuck on my silly goofy sex swing in my gas station jsdhjfdhsjfsdhj

vincent's turning wade into a wax sculpture and chopping dalton's head off and javelining a pole through paige's head and meanwhile. bo is blasting marilyn manson and having unsuccesful murderfuck preamble in his stupid basement jfdshjfhdsjhfdsj

BO JUST STINKING OF SWEAT AND VOMIT AND BLOOD and vincent tryin to maneuver himself away from him sdhjfdshjfdsh like bitch!!! I tried to check on ur fuckin injuries!! and u told me to GIT??? like I'm a dog???? and now ur sweaty diseased sickly self is leaning over me tryin 2 talk about how sexy u are and what god took away from me??? fuck outta here lmao

dsjhgfjdshjfdsh vincent playing bingo is so fuckin funny to me I'm cryin

#this is the magnum opus. these are divine words !!!! PPL!!! #hdfsjhfjhjfdshjdf this is sending me to the moon #the elvis impersonation jsdfhjhfdjhdfs thank yaaaa thank yaaaa very muuuuch #and it's just so horrendously bad and awful djshjdajsda #ilysm this ask is gonna be screen-printed on my cerebral cortex forever fr #sinclair brainrot hours

[lambergeier]

2022 book post FINALLY

this post is six weeks late because, frankly, i was on my honeymoon over new years and its hard to get up the will to type all this shit when everyone has already posted their book lists ages ago!! but also i read a lot of good books last year and wish to gloat, so here we are. italics are rereads, bold are my favorites, asterisks denote not-prose, and reviews are interspersed throughout as i felt like it:

January

No One is Talking About This - Patricia Lockwood (this book made me cry so hard lmao. first part is a sickeningly true-to-life depiction of Being A Blue Check Person and then the second part makes you cry so bad.)

Sorrowland - Rivers Solomon (what the fuck happened to the last third of this book? what shit-ass x-men knock-off did it come from?)

What Soldiers Do: Sex and the American GI in World War II France - Mary Louise Roberts (got on a whole ww2 history kick because, gotta be real, i watched all of band of brothers during winter break 2021-2022 and developed a bug up my ass. pulled this off the shelf at the library on a whim and it was STUNNING. excellently, thoroughly told history of sex, venereal disease, and race among american GIs in normany following the invasion. would read anything roberts now.)

How to Blow Up a Pipeline - Andreas Malm

Hello, Sailor: The hidden history of gay life at sea - Paul Baker and Jo Stanley

Coming Out Under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women in World War II - Allan Berube (another excellent ww2 book, frequently quoted on this site and for good reason. not written by a historian, so incredibly easy and engaging to read, that presents you with just this amazing overview of how modern american queer identity was totally, inextricably shaped by the us military and the experience of being part of it or even just near it lmao)

February

Possession - A.S. Byatt (really really lovely romance that was such a consistent pleasure to read that i got to the end basically unable to remember favorite lines or even scenes i was just like mmmmmmmm. book good.)

Uncanny Valley - Anna Wiener

Howl’s Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones

The Verge: Reformation, Renaissance, and Forty Years that Shook the World - Patrick Wyman (this book sucked ass we gotta stop giving podcasters history books)

Watership Down - Richard Adams (so fucked up. loved this. love that we give this to children to read.)

Dead Collections - Isaac Fellman

March

The Hidden Palace - Helene Wecker (much better than its prequel, imho! resolved many pacing issues but lost no heart!)

The Vanishing Half - Britt Bennet (part of the reason i managed to read so much this year is that i had to drive a lot for work and started putting audiobooks on in the car, having never been an audiobook person before. i listened almost entirely to contemporary litfic this way, a genre i also had not previously engage with, and this was both a fascinating entry into an entire other world of books and also kinda boring sometimes lmao. vanishing half was good, certainly better than some of the other stuff i ended up listening to, but still not something i would have finished if i weren't in the car)

The Reformation - Patrick Collinson (this bitch was so funny his preface to the book was 'i didn't list any sources because i've been teaching this topic for 60 years. the source is Me.' anyways almost totally unreadable but did provide me some good context on the counter-reformation, which i want to learn more about.)

Fleischman is in Trouble - Taffy Brodesser-Akner

Home Baked - Alia Volz (soooooo good all bay area homies please read this)

River of Stars - Vanessa Hua

April

Light from Uncommon Stars - Ryka Aoki (INSANE BOOK. SO FUN.)

*Death of a Salesman - Arthur Miller

Book of Dust - Phillip Pullman

Gold Diggers - Sanjena Sathian

*Angels in America - Tony Kushner (disconnected me from reality for like 24 straight hours. scared to reread it.)

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (read this in high school and hated it because i was a DUMB TEENAGER!! THIS BOOK IS SO FUNNY!!)

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett

Fifth Elephant - Terry Pratchett

May

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia (strongly eh.)

Oh the Glory of it All - Sean Wilsey (loved it but feels impossible to recommend.)

Magic for Liars - Sarah Gailey

Foundation - Isaac Asimov (absolutely fascinating as like, a history of the genre thing, even if i only "enjoyed" reading the first two or three stories lol. also, HE COULDN'T PREDICT FIAT CURRENCY?? ACTUAL PLOT POINT THAT THERE AREN'T ENOUGH METALS ON THE PLANET TO MINT COINS???? reader i lost my mind.)

June

All the Pretty Horses - Cormac McCarthy (all the pretty horses my insane high school problematic fave. i will never read the sequels)

Have His Carcase - Dorothy L. Sayers

The Power - Naomi Alderman (as i said on private twitter after rereading, this book makes me sick to my stomach not because of the gender shit, which is like, i know what the book's about that's what it's about it's not gonna be a different book, but christ it's so bleak. love an oral history style but i gave my copy away once i finished lmao.)

Murder Must Advertise - Dorothy L. Sayers

July

Such a Fun Age - Kiley Reid (great audiobook narrator, and a very funny book)

Several People are Typing - Calvin Kasulke (PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS AUDIOBOOK THEY HIRED A FULL RADIO-PLAY STYLE CAST AND SURE THE ACTUAL STORY DOESN'T STICK THE LANDING BUT IT'S SO FUNNY. i finished it on my own and immediately put it back on for emma to enjoy. so good.)

They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South - Stephanie Jones-Rogers

Hawk Mountain - Conner Habib (oughhhhouguhughuhghh the dread. great book. wretched creeping horror. queer, if that matters. gives you the Dread.)

There, There - Tommy Orange

August

If an Egyptian Can’t Speak English - Noor Naga (experimental fiction, i listened to it on audiobook and actually missed a lot of what it was doing in print but still incredibly good. absolute sucker punch of an ending.)

The Loneliest Americans - Jay Caspian King

Encounters at the Heart of the World: A History of the Mandan People - Elizabeth Fenn (great clear thorough history of the mandan nation of the upper missouri river, really enjoyed this.)

An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us - Ed Yong (ed yong is the best science writer working today and this book was tremendous. i quoted like every other line of it to emma and she still went and borrowed it as soon as i was done. we immediately bought a copy for the house.)

Sheer Misery: Soldiers in Battle in WWII - Mary Louise Roberts

September

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse (damn so much modern sff is bad)

I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life - Ed Yong (not as good as the animal book but still VERY good)

Dark Rise - C.S. Pacat (unfuckingreadable. a masterclass of incoherent bullshit)

Nona the Ninth - taz lol (this should not have been its own book.)

*Ducks - Kate Beaton (cannot recommend highly enough. intense subject matter, also made me cry many times, but holy shit ms beaton you killed it with this one)

Unreleased Friend Book that I Love So Bad (soon!!)

Normal People - Sally Rooney

October

Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (another book i haven't reread since high school holden ilu. you are my little problems boy)

Pachinko - Min Jin Lee (read it all in one day while on various airplanes. what a BOOK)

Half of a Yellow Sun - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Foundation - Mercedes Lackey (thus begins the valdemar stage of the year)

My Year of Rest and Relaxation - Ottessa Moshfegh (uh. would not recommend.)

November

Devil House - John Darnielle (ur crazy for this one mr mountain goats. still don't know if it was good or bad lol.)

Arrows of the Queen - Mercedes Lackey

Arrows Flight - Mercedes Lackey

Arrows Fall - Mercedes Lackey

Magic’s Pawn - Mercedes Lackey (vanyel i love you)

December

Magic’s Promise - Mercedes Lackey (vanyel i'm obsessed with you)

Empire of Wild - Cherie Dimaline

Magic’s Price - Mercedes Lackey (oh misty we did NOT stick the landing here. rip to vanyel.)

Winter Counts - David Heska Wanbli Weiden

Neuromancer - William Gibson (loved so many individual sentences and, like foundation, a very interesting work for understanding the history of the genre. however in many ways, totally incomprehensible.)

total books: 66!!! nice work, me! really enjoyed how much i read in 2022 and how generally varied it was and after a long while of not reading too much at all, it's been very nice being back in the swing of it. also god non-fiction is so good. i can't read it particularly fast but every time i read a good one i enjoy it so immensely. look forward to reading more of it this year!!!

AND, FINALLY, A SHOUT OUT TO THE WORST DNF OF 2022:

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab sucks shit.

#2022 books #sorry if i was mean to book you liked i will do it again #went back in and added all the subtitles for the nonfiction whoops #book post

[gaywiththesauce]

Hi good morning it seems my insanity is terminal so here I am hopefully you don’t mind me swinging by to shout in your inbox because I jusT FINISHED CHAP 2 OF CHWE AND IM. GOING NUTS.

Giyuu not realizing Senj and Kyo were related??? God I love him he’s so stupid

The little implications at Senj’s home life not being good I’m crying I’m crying I’m crying I’m c

Drunk Kyo means everything to me!!!!!!!!!!!

HITTING HIS HEAD ON THE DESK WHILE BOWING. IM. GOING TO BE SICK

I’m OBSESSED with modern aus that include texts between characters and now I might need to shout desperately about how each of them would text

The fucking HEART NOTE. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_:(´ཀ`」 ∠): <-me being normal I’m very normal ok sorry bye

Shout all you like! I am also terminally Giyuu diseased.

Hehe yes, he's a little bit stupid! He doesn't see the correlation between his dumb loud neighbor that threw up in his bathroom and his shy student that sits in the back of the class. Just "they look similar but they're so different that it's impossible for them to be related- oh no they are"

the implicationssssss, that's all I saying

I love making Kyo so stupid too! He's just so,, I don't know how to describe it. He's mentally homosexual. Gay brain. Alcohol does not help his condition lmao. Like he's so stupid that he's unaware of his surroundings. He just wants to leave a good impression on "Senjuro's teacher."

I love texts too because it reveals things like the habits of the characters and how they capitalize and punctuate and if they use emojis and stuff! There are more texts in the next chapter! which is already up for your viewing pleasure And what I believe to be more Kyojuro and Giyuu stupids. I love mens that can't use their brains properly.

It wasn't until your and another comment that I forgot about the heart note so now I have to... possibly mention it later...

you don't need to apologize, no one is normal here. your bio needs to include the Instagram warning "See why fact-checks say this is false."

thank you for giving me another opportunity to talk about da boyss, they're a bit stoopid

#saucy speaks #dont apologize for giving me a chance to make fun of them #:) #chwe✨ #rengiyuu #senjuro gets so much cuter in the next chapter(s) #hes going to be getting big parts in this story because i love him #thank you for your thoughts hsjshdidj #i dont know what else to say so *hug*

[dadswithipads]

Live reacting to Fanboy and Chum Chum episodes.

Fan vs. Wild/ The incredible Shrinking Fanboy.

The smiling. "Nature brings out his inner poet". They have kyle attached to them with a rope lmao. My son Kyle. " if you come across any Bears play dead" -C. " it won't be a stretch" - K. LMAO. Lenny! The waving. " I got a new extending broom" THAT QUOTE IS FOR THE AGES. And then the waving. "This isn't avalanche country, this is a convenience store!" Has been stuck in my head for years. The vent I just-. Fanboy thinks the men's restroom vent smells good? Okay. Wild burritos. Bro. His jaw fell. "Poor dumb kid". This would be so fun. To just find a mini Mountain on top of a convenience store and discover it. Yo. "I would but. Cooties"

Hes gonna eat Kyle? Bro them just being on the roof. Where they can jump off. The display case💀. Aww chum chum. The cough when Kyle shows up💀. "Hi" "Eye!". Oh yeah Fanboy does have a glass eye. THE LASER💀. Wheres Lenny. Ow. Kyle. BRO WHY LENNY ALWAYS GETTING HURT.

------------------------------

I just heard Chris Chuggy in the intro card...

RAIN! I LOVE RAIN. Nvm. Oh boy. Mmm rubber cheese pizza. Yuck. YALL NEVER BRING UP FANBOY IS WEARING HEELS LIKE??????????? WHAT???? QUEERBOY.

He invented converse heels oh no. Bro Oz. Lmao. Fanboy really is my son. And I love that Chum Chum is really taking charge this episode. Fleshs out the character. My conniving son. I want that clock. Hehehe. In the future. "Pals" alright. In the sink? Yo! Hes just like me fr. Girl-. Wa Wa. She has a..shrine???? The shaking toddlers? Hello??? Awww. His imagination is insane. I'm being reminded of that Victorious episode where Trina got that disease and can't sing on stage and also there's like a pirate wheel for some reason??????? Haha. Fanboy.

#fbacc #live reaction

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

It also pisses me off when people say, “there are two sides to every story, we don’t know the whole situation.”

Bitch, I don’t care what Paul Prenter’s “side of the story” is. He outed Freddie publicly, putting his life and everybody at Garden Lodge’s in danger. There is no justification for that.

I don’t care what Mary’s “side of the story” is. She treated Freddie’s loved ones like garbage, make homophobic and seraphobic comments and tried to make out that everyone in his life used him except her. There is no justification for that.

I don’t care what Barbara’s “side of the story” is. She was a terrible influence on Freddie and used him to boost her own waning fame. She invalidated his sexuality, claimed he deliberately spread around a deadly disease and even maintained he was abusive. There is no justification for that.

Idk why people go to such great lengths to defend these people, especially Mary. Do they think they’re somehow betraying Freddie for not liking the shitstains in his life? Does being “neutral” make them feel superior to everyone else? Or are they just plain dumb? God knows.

(Side note: I honest to god was filling my queue this week so I could step away a bit from tumblr but now my inbox is popping lmao)

Every person has motivations—not all of them are justified, excusable, or understandable. The three people you mentioned hurt people and never really seemed sorry for it. I was thinking about Paul in particular recently….He was a gay man in the AIDS crisis. He KNEW how hostile society was to gay men at the time, and he told the press two of Freddie’s lovers died of AIDS and gave pictures of him shirtless with another man to the tabloids anyway. He understood the danger of his actions and did it anyway. That’s unforgivable and it’s nonsense to act like there’s no such thing as an unforgivable act. Freddie clearly never forgave Paul. Barbara told horrific lies that enforced every terrible serophobic stereotype about gay men and painted Freddie as a violent abuser! Brian and Roger clearly still dislike her and the bad influence she had on their friend. Mary did a laundry list of bullshit that we all know by now.

It’s genuinely weird to me to care more about shielding these people from any and all judgment than to care about the harm they did. Why? Why is it so inconceivable for people who knew Freddie Mercury to be shitty? Why is it a no-no to say anyone related to Queen in any way wasn’t a good person? None of these people will ever see this lol.

And I reiterate: constantly defending a documented pattern of harmful behavior isn’t actually neutrality lol.

#replies #Anonymous

[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

#kokichiouma #oumota #Ougoku #chat fic #kaito momota #kiibo #miu iruma #gonta gokuhara #ryoma #angie #shuichi saihara #vr au #kirumi #maki harukawa #korekiyo #danganronpav3 #danganronpa #grossness

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep11 Thoughts *Spoilers*

thoughts under cut to keep tag from being cluttered :)

- Oh yeah I forgot that Chad was blackmailing Veronica about the dirty dealings in her company even though it’s not her at all (unless it’s just been so long and I’ve forgotten but she’s my baby and I feel like I would’ve remembered but-

- Hiram and this dumb prison is one of the worst things for this show it’s a constant plot of people escaping and it’s so annoying like sure Hiram owns it and he was in the jail but no one has, like, taken him back to jail…??? Hiram is a fucking disease smh

- “back to remote learning” why didn’t you just stay that way though… like even right now in covid schools are opening back up and kids are complaining because it’s still not safe so like… just… go back to it??? I’m so not built for this world fasdhfkahf

- Veronica and Smithers 🥺🥺💞💞

- the way Veronica hugs Archie is so cute bc she’s so tiny but like she always gives her all and Archie is just 😐 never giving anything ahjfsdfsh it’s quite sad you can tell how done KJ is with Varchie lol

- “I really hate that I’m dragging you through this.” … what about constantly pulling him into your mob boss father mess that the writers refuse to allow you to escape from?

- “until you and Chad are officially done, I think we should keep our distance.” Varchie bones!!! you just KNOW that Archie has been looking forward to this because that man is whole heartedly in love with Betty and has been since forever and that while Chad prolongs the divorce papers, Archie will not be waiting for Veronica considering he doesn’t want her. Varchie = bones we love to see it!

- now who tf would join Penelope Blossom’s ministry… no one, realistically.

- can Cheryl stop being given the craziest and usually most boring plots ever please...

- Not someone holding a gun to Tabitha literally don’t hurt Riverdale’s best girl weirdo

- these bitches really haven’t aged huh…. poor Veronica though being robbed but like they stole some watches or something and the opal like that’s all you take..?? okay-

- Fangs 💞💞💞💞💞 also rip to him having to work with his ex tho

- STOP HAVING ARCHIE GO TO HIRAM WE’RE TIRED

- You know considering the whole reason why Hiram is still here as the villain and ruining Veronica’s life/growth to keep her in his plots al because Mark is a big soap opera celeb and apparently brings in money, you’d assume they would give him GOOD shit instead of everything he’s gotten. If they hadn’t of hired Mark can you imagine how much better off the show would be if they didn’t have to keep him around bc of his status????? God why-

- Reggie’s always there for Veronica muah…. oh fuck me I guess fjasjkdf

- “I work for one Lodge and it’s not you.” lmao okay??? you acting like that’s a flex, and that you’re working for the better Lodge who literally left you to die after the Serpents thought you shot Fangs so-

- MARTY BEING WHY REGGIE IS WORKING FOR HIRAM…….. YOUR DAD IS ABUSIVE LET HIM HANDLE HIS OWN DEBT??? God both Veronica and Reggie are always fucked over when it comes to their parents huh

- don’t you just love when they make characters act ooc for a plot ahhhhhh it’s totally fun to watch and totally not frustratingly annoying

- “FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.” 💞💞💞 we love Veggie even though they made Veronica act ooc and hurt him back then and they weren’t given an actual chance.

- “don’t be such a Betty” now why is Betty so surprised she only ever had fun when she was with Archie, when she’s with Jughead all she did was do what she wanted and order him around so likeefjhakdfh

- “he shouldn’t really be my problem anymore.” BUGHEAD BONES YASSSSS

- I know it was just a sound they used but like that squish sound when Darla kicked Tom’s face… did she like smash his face in damn what is this The Walking Dead?

- see the problem with them randomly bringing characters/parents in when they need them is that they’re never around so like no one really cares… like they could have utilized the parents so much (and Skeet and Marisol never would have left) and it would have been so much better than random appearances that make them look incompetent and awful parents because they’re never there during all the other times their kids need them. but we have to see the two toxic parents that won’t go away constantly??? literally what the fuck

- Betty calling Jughead’s writing cringey wbk she’s never liked his writing she was just stroking his ego bc she was his gf and had to be supportive lmaoo

- why are these 60+ year old men beating up Jughead like for why???

- so they just forgot that Tom was checking in on the convict huh gotta love dumbing down characters for plot!

- Fangs with his switchblade muah

- jealous Tabitha muahhh over a password

- “wait THE BETTY?"

- Cheryl looks so good

- Find meaning in his death… girl didn’t you not care that your husband killed your son over the illegal maple stuff I forgot the plot but it was something illegal and dumb

- “drain the vein” …...

- Reggie helping muah

- Why is Archie acting like an ass? like sure he doesn’t know that Chad is abusive and toxic but c’mon fucker you cheated on her and never apologized and you don’t even wanna be with her in the first place so why are you acting like you’re personally hurt sit down

- God Archie really hates Veronica huh… I don’t even blame him considering the shit she’s brought him into time and time again.

- Jughead was kicked like maybe five times yet he was fine falling out of a two story window and the serpent imitation but now he needs antibiotics..? plot convenience!

- literally don’t remember anything about Doc tbh or him talking to Donna and Bret like—

- ever since Negan people are obsessed with bats with barbed wire.

- also! yes please kill Hiram <3 I know they end up saving him bc of the opal but c'mon

- they searched basically nothing for five seconds wow such great detective work you guys!

- we know you just want his manuscript Jessica

- Cheryl with her rainbow skirt how cute!

- “daddykins” girl you’re like 25

- Veronica acting like she cares about Hiram fjsadhkfhas these guys thinking that they’d kill Hiram even though they need him lol

- bad bitch Ronnie we love her even though she’s gonna have to save her father to save others and get her opal </3

- not Veronica calling Archie first and not Kevin considering Kevin’s dad is there…. this is the pandering va fan service bs we have bc it makes no sense and it’s so forced

- Fangs knowing Archie rides with tools in his truck mmhm that’s a little sus idk how but archiefangs agenda coming through!

- no one would actually believe that Jessica ashkjdfsj and they take this bait…??? you gotta be joking lmao

- Jug got to help doc this time 🥺😭

- …. tell me why when he said boyfriend I immediately thought of Reggie I hate myself for wishing fahsdjkfsafj

- okay as cheesy and corny and awful the fight scene is since they posted a clip of it, them working together is so refreshing and nice we love leader!Veronica bc she’s so good at it. but the show only cares for Betty which is funny since she’s an awful detective fbahsdjfj

- my god enough with Jason’s body!!!!!!!!! you burned his body please let him stay dead let his body rest

- okay but the back and forth from Betty and Jessica is so good like I wish we could get that kind of rivalry drama type stuff all the time. too bad they refuse to let Veronica act like a normal person and get angry at being cheated on and such :/ when will Veronica slap the fuck out of Betty

- he’s not a blameless victim but Betty take responsibility for how awful a person you are PLEASE

- THE VOICEMAILLLLLLL Jughead only speaks the truth! it’s weird that he only realized what we all knew about Betty after but whatever, finally he gets upset like damn. also jeronica crumb he’s the only one to ever include Veronica smh ALSO Cole acted the fuck outta this voice mail muah

- the way Betty just sits there uncaring… she really is a freak huh god when will someone punch her in the face and take her ego down a million notches she’s so annoying

- “that’s darkness.” …?? what?

- the way bh’s relationship parallels jughead’s with Jessica though. the unhealthy habits, the bad energy, etc. except Jessica left it and Betty didn’t and it turned Betty into whatever the fuck this is. I miss s1 Betty :/

- so when will they sue Jessica for drugging them? mmhm probably never

- poor Tabitha being the only one who cares about jughead tho

- oh no I forgot there was a random musical number…

- you’re gonna have Betty and Tabitha act like THAT and not put them together so rude

- when will Cheryl be free from her mom. is was like turned on by abuse or something sigh why do the toxic (and most boring!) parents get plots and screen time and everyone else doesn’t...

- Veronica would be able to do Moree than pepper spray but whatever only Betty is allowed be “badass"

- fangs being fangs ugh so sexy my babyyyyy

- Trevor Stines is so attractive it’s a shame they only bring him back for five seconds to traumatize Cheryl over and over again though </3

- wow varchie in a pop’s booth what season is this again??

- god it’s so upsetting how amazing varchie would have been as just friends…

- the way he smiled at Veronica was so contradicting to the blank, “please don’t” expression when she was telling him she was gonna get divorced as fast as possible. why can’t he just admit he doesn’t want to be with her!!!!!! my god they’ve put off barchie long enough just let them be together so their characters can finally act in character and stop being so awful and annoying

- “this cause” what cause you fucking weirdo

- not Hiram threatening the mayor he could literally be your downfall if we had good writers fjasdkjfasf

- jughead how would you have killed him with a small wooden basket

- I like doc so much but I know we’ll never see him again until we randomly need him seasons from noow

- Betty wasn’t hit by the drugs until after the message though… how would she not remember? it didn’t seem to be doing anything to Betty until the bunker

- hopefully since they’re friends now Tabitha can make Betty act like a decent human being <3

- the way Tabitha looked at Betty please stop doing this to me...

- maybe we can finish that dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jabitha rising bughead dying we love to see it!

wow that episode felt like it was two hours long but thankfully I finally finished it… don’t have many actual thoughts but anyways hope you enjoyed my live blog of my thoughts!

#Riverdale #Thoughts #Spoilers

[sapphicambitions]

Tiktok hates men so much lmao. Half the videos I see are literally just about hating straight men or bisexuals making fun of themselves for liking men. Tell me why my lesbian ass is over here like “y’all know that it’s okay to like men right??? You’re allowed??? And no one should ever feel bad for their sexuality??? And that good men exist in the world???“ LIKE I’m not talking about videos that are talking about misogyny or the patriarchal system I’m talking about videos where people are like “I have an incurable disease called dumb bitch disease and it makes me like men” and so on like sure they call lesbians man haters but I’m the one considering making a video telling people it’s okay if you’re attracted to men bc I’m tired of seeing videos that are just blatantly like “men suck and women are better”

#lesbianlaynie #am i the only one annoyed by this or who has noticed this

[obeymematches]

gumdopfairy matchup request~

Hello! May I request a matchup? Sorry if it is too long. ><

Synopsis: I come off as distant and awkward. I don’t talk much and if I do, I am agreeable and soft-spoken. I would say I am sensitive, transparent, emotional, understanding, curious, carefree, and clumsy. I am expressive and am not afraid to show my feelings, people would say I am an open book. I always cry at sad movies or scenes where you’re supposed to cry. I have 4 siblings and it’s fun but tiring at the same time, I’m the butt of every joke and am treated like the youngest. I also like to tease those I am very close with. I am expressive and (sometimes childish) with those I am very close to and agreeable with the general public. In a group work setting, I am diligent and reasonable when doing my job.

Habits/Interests/Dreams: I say ‘what the heck’ a lot, it’s a habit tbh. I rant when I am passionate. A dream of mine is to enjoy life with people I love, to travel, capture beautiful scenery and eat lots of sweets! I like learning about international cultures, languages and funky things like did you know smelling your own fart prevents  Alzhimer’s disease because of hydrogen sulfide and egg-smells? LOL.

Travel, psychology, and society-related documentaries interests me. I am currently a (elementary) A2 level Korean, I want to study more of the language because I like Korean music and culture. The concept of time travel, multitudes of reality and isekai worlds intrigue and fascinate me, I like reading fictional stuff about it. I have good knowledge of geography. My siblings always tease me when the number 13 shows because…..I want to always avoid the number and really hate that number. I used to do judo in high school and I have a fascination with martial arts. :D

Likes/Dislikes: I like pastels, sunsets, flowers, photography, sweets, fried foods, skincare, sparkly stuff, lip gloss, memes, dad jokes and games.

I dislike it when people assume things about me like they know me (when they really don’t), condescending people, ignorance, waking up early and seafood. I like my freedom and want to be independent, and dislike it immensely being forced to do something I don’t want to do. I really don’t like listening to lectures (doesn’t everyone though?). I’m not academically inclined but I have decent grades. I really don’t like math and chemistry T_T

In depth: I am pretty sensitive when people criticize or judge me only if it’s constructive but if it is outright just to insult me than I will say something bc that upsets the heck outta me. Because I have such a big immediate family (there’s 7 of us) I am family-oriented so playing Obey Me really reminds me a lot of my family(esp siblings I have 4). In fact, I do get irritated easily and I am working on my short-temper. I am understanding and always try my best to not look at things just in my perspective but others as well. I am pessimistic in nature but I do genuinely want to see the good in people and in life. When thinking about my feelings and knowing the why I feel the way I do and how it affects others, you could say there is emotional intelligence. :)

My insecurity without a doubt is caring too much on what people think of me and how content I am with myself. I think this is because of me, my past “friends” who judged me so critically which had a negative effect on how I see myself. Because of that, I have very few friends. In fact, I don’t really have any. I kind of just lost my self of self and trust for people. And my insecurity with of how unrefined, incompetent or unlikable I am, I’ve been told a lot to “grow up” and “stop asking dumb questions.”

I want to be loved and not to be judged so harshly. Since I am slowly becoming an adult I have to discard my awkward, playful tendencies in front of others. Even though I have low self-esteem it bothers me when being told that I did something or said something, it discredits my character and what gives one the right to tell me what I did or said when I know myself more than them?

Relationships: I honestly never had a boyfriend or any real close, close friends but I have a very close sibling who I grew up since I was an infant and it’s my younger sister (only by 16 months). She is truly my best friend and sister. I tend to like who are confident but also cool, they’re not domineering. I also find myself liking those who are opposite from me. The airheadness in me juxtaposed with my partner’s grounded nature. I’m pretty reckless and clumsy myself so it’d make sense if someone is reasonable and well-coordinated which would balance us out. My pessimism balanced with his optimism and/or realism.

I can offer my close companionship, humor, someone to listen to your troubles/ranting, and someone you can have ramen with and have conversations about anything without having restraint. Someone who I can be free with. Someone who can accept my flaws and who can help me improve myself and I would do the same for them.

We can laugh together, spend time with each other, make each other cry, fight and be there for each other when we are feeling low. A best friend and a partner for life, someone who would not harshly constrain, judge or tear me down as an individual. Wow, I am crying writing this. I am so idealistic about what I want in my relationships mainly because I never had one but deep down, I don’t think it’s like that in real life.

Hobbies: otome games, learning Korean, pilates/ workout videos, eating, and bothering my siblings

My Fangirl self: I am a big fan of Avatar:The Last Airbender and One Punch Man (Genos is husbando material lol). I also really like Free and Haikyuu. Hot 2D men, babies, and puppies are my weaknesses. I read a lot of romance, isekai, and action webtoons/mangas and like watching it too. 

Appearance wise, I’m 163 cm, and Asian so I have medium standard straight dark hair and I’m slim.

---------

Hey! Thank you for your request! Sorry for the wait!

It was pretty hard to decide who would be the best partner for you. I thought about Beelzebub or Leviathan. Because Levi is into animes, mangas and Asian culture, but Beel loves food and his siblings especially Belphie. Hope you like my decision, because I decided to choose Beelzebub!

Here is why:

I think it’s ideal for Beel to have a quite clumsy girl with him. I can imagine when you, for example, fall down on the stairs and he catch you! He would protect and take care of you. He would be right there for you when you can’t reach something! 

He may look serious and mean, but actually he isn’t!

When you watch a sad movie or when someone judges you, he would try his best to make you feel happy again. Make you some food or maybe cuddle with you! 

You mentioned that you are an open book which would make Beel understand you even more. Being transparent is very important if you want a healthy relationship!

He is very close to his brothers. He would do anything for them. His best friend is Belphegor, and I think it’s good because your best friend is your sibling too. Imagine all of you hanging out like a super big family!! I think Beel can get along with pretty much anyone. 

Beel is very positive and rewarding so it would be ideal for you as there would be a balance. 

Both of you loves to eat, it would be a great date to go eat something, or make food together. I’m sure he will share his food with you! (Especially if you share your food with him too) Trust me he knows the best places to get food from! Also when you travel, he is going to encourage you to try food you maybe wouldn’t otherwise!

He would think your “what the heck” habit is cute though. Imagine him smiling so cutely to hmself every time you say it! If you two hang out a lot he might start saying it a lot too!

Beel would love to hear your voice so talk to him about everything! You can trust him! He is not too talkative himself, so your tendencies to rant gives a good balance!

Moreover he would support you in everything! He is one of the most supporting brothers!

Also don’t worry. He has 6 siblings, it’s much worse than 4, he knows what you mean when you say you are tired!

Beelzebub would join you to watch differents shows  or animes, but make sure there’s food!

I’m sure you would enjoy the time that you spend together! He can be very adorable and careful. Maybe he would invite you to the gym or hiking (or maybe to do judo), but reward you with a kiss for example.

He would make your day better for example with a romantic dinner or to just go out and watch the sunset with a picnic even if it’s the day you don’t like, so he tries to get your mind off it. 

Leviathan would join you if you want to play games or listen to kpop. Of course while this make sure you give food to Beel to make him less jealous. But he is not the most jealous type, so really there’s not much to worry about. 

Furthermore, if you don’t want to wake up early, he would stay in bed with you and cuddle. But sometimes Belphegor would be a better partner for this and he would treat you as his sister.

He would hold your hand until he falls asleep. Think about that!

Chemistry and Math is definitely not Beel’s favourite ones as well. You better get help from Lucifer or Satan! But Beel won’t judge you based on your grades!

He would laugh at your jokes, and try to make you laugh too!

He wouldn’t judge you and say mean things to you because he would really value you and you would mean the world for him beside food.

He needs emotional support though.(SPOILER depending on where you are in the story) Sometimes he blame himself for some mistakes. Thats why it’s nice that you are emotionally mature, he definitely needs someone he can rely on emotionally as well. 

Also he will make sure that you don’t think about what others think of you! He loves you the way you are! 

He is the youngest, so you can be childish together!

He is pretty flexible and confident, so no turn-offs so far!

He is the tallest one so I think you would look super cute next to him (he is like 205 cm lmao)

I think he is really patient and actually encouraging so hanging out with him will definitely boost your confidence!

I think in canon he never really had any relationship before either, so it would be amazing to learn about relationships together! 

I think theres no thing like “thats not how it is in real life”, you just have to keep looking. Fortunately Beel has similar values as you, as he can be shy and that makes opening up to someone hard - meaning the friendship can last some time before you establish a relationship. A healthy relationship is based on being best friends with your partner, so I think you are on the same page. 

Maybe sometimes you and Belphie would team up to prank him, what do you think?

He definitely adores that you care for yourself and that you are stylish! Asmo probably knows more about these than Beel, but thanks to Asmo’s influence Beel will suprise you with how much cosmetics he can name!

So in conclusion he is a very supportive boyfriend, and you are also supporting him through the journey of healing from the past. A very cute relationship and you two can do anything together. He can get you do some sports and you can get him to watch some shows on rainy days. However food is something you both enjoy a lot, so restaurant or cooking dates are common! Even if you travel. Knowing that you can trust the other no matter what will boost the confidence of the both of you! He can be less talkative but that’s fine because you can talk! He is also rather optimistic, so there is a balance in that as well. Sometimes he might get jealous of Levi or Belphie if you hang out with them too much, but thats just something to have a conversation about. He is cool and rather chill, definitely gets along well with your family too, which is very important because both of you are family-oriented! 

#om! #obey me #obey me! #obey me shall we date #om beel #om beelzebub #obey me beelzebub #beel #beelzebub obey me #obey me matchup #swd obey me #obey me swd #submission

[minteyeddemon]

My Masterlist

Making a mass post of all my current headcanons and fanfics, will be adding them here as I go. ^^ I will also include a disclaimer for the warnings that will also be included on the post itself, so if there is something that may trigger or bother you, it will be mentioned before opening the post, and at the top of said post as well. Thanks for giving my writing a look-see. ^^

**Side note, here is a playlist of music I set up inspired by V. :’)

**Second side note, just including a link to my OCs so I can find it easier xD

***Link to my second masterlist post!***

Headcanons

High Heels Headcanons (NS/FW)

Catching Reader wearing their coat

Jealous V Headcanon

A friendship with Griffon leads to something more with V

Reactions to Reader being scared of storms

Drunk Flirting Headcanons (Alcohol mentioned)

Domestic Headcanons

‘Caught in the act’ Headcanons (NS/FW)

Dom or Sub Headcanons (NS/FW)

Reactions to Reader crying from stress/feeling weak

Reactions to S/O telling them they are pregnant

V and Griffon meeting Reader’s talking parrot

Impregnation/Breeding Kink (Warning on post, please be advised)

Submissive V (NS/FW)

Spending free time with V

Non-canon talents for V

Choice of ‘toys’ used in bedroom (NS/FW)

DMC Girls with affection starved S/O

Reactions to S/O whispering sweet things to them/while asleep

What makes the boys blush

Sleepy morning sex Headcanons (Somnophilia warning!)

Reactions to S/O with intimacy issues due to trauma

Reactions to S/O who owns a cat

Accidently gives S/O bloody nose during sparring

Reactions to S/O who is a clutz

S/O makes homemade pizza for Dante

Dante’s reaction to S/O who likes pineapple pizza (for lulz)

Reactions to S/O who owns/takes care of reptiles (bearded dragon)

DMC Crew reactions to V’s body and well-being

Reactions to S/O using pet-names for them

Reader and V in VR world

Independent/Strong S/O who is soft for V

Reactions to 3yo child with S/O (Read request wrong hhh)

Reactions to S/O with 3month old baby

Vergil with demon hunter S/O

Dante/Vergil first date with S/O

Boys reaction to dominant S/O (NS/FW)

V and S/O sending selfies/phone fun (kinda NS/FW)

Boys with a trans male S/O going through dysphoria

Vergil/V with a shy/quiet S/O

Reaction to S/O playing with their hair

Reactions to S/O using shower in Nico’s van

Reactions to S/O suffering from depression

Reactions to snarky/funny S/O who is protective of them

How they get woo their crush into returning feelings

Reactions to S/O in lingerie (NS/FW)

Guys wearing cramping simulator for S/O

Dante and Male!S/O headcanons

Fluff for V/Vergil

Reactions to S/O who is easily embarrassed by affection

Nero x Kyrie x Fem!S/O (SFW and NS/FW)

Reactions to a lazy finding out S/O is lazy

DMC Boys phone/sexting (NS/FW, kinda)

Waking up to oral from S/O (NS/FW)

Reactions to making S/O squirt (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O being a demon

Reactions to S/O having a baby bump

Catching S/O pleasing themselves (NS/FW)

DMC Boys in Men’s lingerie (NS/FW)

Reactions to chubby/plump S/O (NS/FW)

DMC Boys caughter jerking it (NS/FW)

Reactions to home-cooked meal destroyed by demon

Reactions to S/O with weak constitution

Reader is V’s best friend and steals his cane

Reactions to S/O who hides feelings behind humor

Dante with S/O while in Devil Trigger form (NS/FW)

S/O takes pictures of them (Beautiful Experiment)

S/O wanting to see them get off (NS/FW)

DMC boys reaction to S/O singing angelically

Nero/Dante reactions to S/O with high fever

Waking up S/O with oral sex (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O being afraid of butterflies/moths

Mating season for DMC boys (ABO dynamics warning)

V/Vergil reactions to S/O reading horror comics (Junji Ito)

Reactions to S/O knowing Fall Out Boy songs

Reactions to nipple piercings (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O being a big troll

DMC boys sexually frustrated (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O with no filter/flirts openly with them

Reactions to sadistic but nice S/O who threatens them for being dumb

Reactions to S/O who farted (lmao)

Being hit on and S/O being hit on

Reactions to S/O scared of thunderstorms

Fluffy Night with Dante

Reactions to S/O on period (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O who is a crazy cat lady

Being choked and choking S/O headcanons (NS/FW)

DMC boys into pet play (NS/FW, warning on post)

Breaking the bed when things get heated

Liah and V relationship headcanons

Reactions to S/O having strep-throat

Reactions to S/O getting a pixie-cut from heat and stress

Reactions to pastel goth BF who is a sweetheart but angry as hell in the morning when woken up

Reactions to a super affectionate S/O

Reactions to a S/O who is taller than them

Reactions to a GF who has super strength and carries them

Reactions to walking in on S/O masturbating (NS/FW)

Reactions to cheesy pick-up lines

Vergil with Male!S/O (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O needing a service dog

Nico with Fem!S/O (NS/FW)

Showing love to a chubby S/O

S/O wearing their old coat

Reactions to S/O being scared of spiders/wasps

Different Dante Sexual Headcanons (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O having a 10yo from previous relationship

“Their Scent” headcanons

Sexually frustrating each other (NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O liking to be collared and leashed (NS/FW)

Reactions to watching Tales from the Crypt with S/O

Boys’ first date headcanons

Reactions to a short S/O

Vergil trying to develop a relationship with Nero

Reactions to an affection starved S/O

Vergil fluff with GN!S/O

Reactions to very down/depressed S/O

Reactions to a S/O who is mute

Reactions to an intelligent (book-smart) S/O

Worrying for S/O who’s depressed/taking too long in bathroom (Warning on post!)

Helping S/O through period pain

Reactions to S/O who saves wounded animals

S/O calling them ‘Daddy’ (slightly NS/FW)

Reactions to a Deaf S/O

Finding S/O’s porn collection

Dante and S/O raising Nero

Boys helping S/O who feels guilty after sex

Reaction to S/O saying they would look good with pierced ears

V with a S/O who has morbid sense of humor

V Fluff/Comfort Headcanons

Vergil comfort, S/O working too hard

Dante x S/O x Lady headcanons (slightly NS/FW)

Reactions to S/O abused/mistreated by family and ex

Comfort from Vergil (for Kai)

Reactions to S/O looking at them with a ‘dopey’ smile

Reactions to S/O who enjoys murder mystery shows

Reaction to OC Blair being pregnant with Vergil’s child (For g0d-kai!)

Reaction to S/O with bruises/dealing with abusive parents

What the crew’s Instagrams would be like

DMC crew at Pride with S/O

Reactions to S/O owning venomous snakes

Reactions to S/O getting into a fight

Vergil protecting S/O from guy harassing them

Dante helping S/O who has insomnia

Reactions to S/O giving them flowers; saying they deserve kindness

Reactions to S/O who has a weird sense of humor

Reactions to S/O becoming a child

Instruments the crew can play

Reactions to S/O setting up a sexy surprise, but falling asleep

Reactions to S/O be gone for a while/making an art piece of them

Reactions to doggo jumping up on them when visiting S/O

Reactions to being called “king/prince” in the bedroom (NS/FW)

Comforting a S/O who lost a beloved cat

S/O reacting to their scars

DMC boys proposing and S/O proposing

Vergil being there for baby Nero

Reactions to S/O sleeping with a comfort object

Guys’ reaction to having identical twins

Reactions to S/O wearing big pajamas and long night cap

Reactions to S/O wanting to peg them (slight NS/FW)

Fanfiction

“The Violinist” (V x Reader, NS/FW)

“A Relationship Blooms” (V x Reader, NS/FW)

“Dance Lessons” (V x Reader, Mini fic)

“Drunken Stupor” (V x Reader, NS/FW, Alcohol mention)

“Hanahaki Disease” (V Angst, Warning on post)

“Needs Met” (V x Reader, NS/FW)

“A Different Path” (Multi-chapter) [Pt.2][Pt.3][Pt.4][Pt.5]

“Wholesome” (Dante x S/O, Fluff)

“Tired Love” (Nero x S/O, Fluff)

“First Time: Dante” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“First Time: Nero” (Nero x Reader, NS/FW)

“First Time: V” (V x Reader, NS/FW)

“First Time: Vergil” (Vergil x Reader, NS/FW)

“Depression” (V x Reader, Angsty)

“Duet” (V x Reader, Fluff)

“Forget” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW, Angst, Warning on post)

“Old Crush” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“Cavaliere” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“Enemies” (Vergil x Reader, NS/FW)

“Asthmatic” (Dante x Reader, slight Angst/Fluff)

“Challenge” (Dante x Reader x Vergil, NS/FW, Not Spardacest)

“Perfect Present” (V x OC Liah x Dante, NS/FW)

“Minor Distraction” (V x OC Liah, NS/FW)

“Relaxing Time“ (V x Reader, NS/FW)

“Hiding Surprise” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“Small Secret” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“Dinner and Dancing” (Dante x Reader)

“Little Bit of Tension” (Dante x OC Sidonie, NS/FW)

“Confidence” (V x Reader, NS/FW)

“Gift In-Between” (Dante x Reader x V, NS/FW)

“Ice Cream” (V x Reader, Kind of NS/FW)

“Sparring Match” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“Drenched” (V x Reader, NS/FW)

“Relax” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“Too Tight” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW)

“Boyfriend” (V x Reader, Fluff)

“Claws and Bites” (Werewolf!Dante x Reader x Werecat!V, NS/FW)

“Funny Face” (Vergil x Reader, Fluff, Mini-fic)

“Take Care of Yourself” (Vergil x OC Rings, Fluff)

“Scent” (V x OC Liah, NS/FW)

“Help Myself” (V x OC Liah, NS/FW, Somnophilia tw)

“Movie Night” (Vergil x Reader, NS/FW)

Commission Pieces!

(I am no longer taking commissions for this fandom.)

“Family Bonding” (Vergil, Dante, and baby Nero) Ko-Fi Commission

“Your Presence” (Vergil x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“Bright Lights” (V x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“Not a Burden” (Sparda Family Fluff, Angst, Warning on post) Ko-Fi Commission

“Day Off” (Dante x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“Thieving Rendezvous” (OC Lori x OC Cade, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

“First Kiss” (Vergil x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“What are You Playing?” (Vergil x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“Let Me Care for You” (V x Reader, NS/FW, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

Prompt: Come one step closer, and you will regret it. (Vergil x Reader, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

Prompt: Are you trying to seduce me? (Vergil x Reader, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

Prompt: Hey, I think you have a fever! (Vergil x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

Prompt: Oh, now you’ve done it. (Dante x Reader, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

“Here Kitty!” (V x Reader, Fluff with Shadow) Ko-Fi Commission

“Forgive You” (Dante x Reader, Angst with Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“Nice Shot” (Dante x Reader, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

“I’m Home” (Nero x Kyrie, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“Got Me Sick” (Dante x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

“Caring and Keeping” (Vergil x Reader, Fluff) Ko-Fi Commission

Prompt: I’m sorry, was I supposed to laugh? (Dante x OC Rin, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

Prompt: You have such a way with words (OC Lori x OC Cade, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

Prompt: Why did you bite me? (OC Lori x OC Cade, NS/FW) Ko-Fi Commission

#devil may cry #devil may cry ns/fw #dmc #dmc ns/fw #dmc dante #dante sparda #dmc vergil #vergil sparda #dmc v #v #dmc nero #nero sparda #dmc lady #dmc trish #lady #trish #dmc nico #nicoletta goldstein #headcanon #request #fanfiction #fanfic #masterlist #masterpost #vitale #dmc vitale #ko-fi #ko-fi comission #writing commissions #original characters

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Ice Cold Betrayal (Phantom x fem!Reader)

This is just an idea I had for a Phantom x fem!Reader! Meer wanted me to post it so here y’all go~! 

I didn’t clean this up or edit it at all lmao we die like men!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

like okay my idea is what if anti wanted to cause some mayhem so he faked some pics of him getting frisky with phantom's s/o. and they looked REAL.  mostly because anti got a mimic demon he knows to shift into s/o's form for this shit.  and he went to phantom and showed him and laughed in his face and then bailed but phantom was furious. he'd been very busy the last month or so but you'd said you'd understood and he'd trusted you but then he finds out you cheated on him (u didn't tho) and he sorta just...snaps. he doesn't think he just reacts.

he ports into your shared penthouse and you smile when you see him and that just upsets him more and now you're worried because he looks really upset but before you can ask what's wrong he grabs you by your hair. you yelp when he drags you off the couch, you scream for him to stop but he ignores you and a split second later you're no longer in your suite, instead you're outside on the street behind his hotel. the freezing chill of the city winter has you shaking instantly, this not helped by how you were in just a comfy t-shirt and sleep pants (you had just been relaxing at home)

he dropped you onto the ground and you shakily stood up, shivering you look up at him in confusion 

 "Phantom what the hell-" 

he cuts you off with a snarl that has you stepping back in fear, actual fear. he tells you that you're banned from any and all businesses he owns or even partially owns and if you know whats good for you then you'll stay away. you're confused and hurt and ask him what's going on, why's he upset. he scoffs 

"Don't play dumb. You know what you did, and you know I don't allow cheaters in my establishments. Now kindly fuck off for the rest of your life." 

and then in a blink he's gone and you're left half dressed outside on the street in the dead of winter.

all the shops within like a 30 block radius are at least partially owned by phantom. the man has his fingers in a lot of pies and he alerted each and every one that you were not to be served or even allowed entrance. so there's not even anywhere you can go in to warm up. nowhere to get food or water either. you have your phone on you but you check it and see phantom cancelled the minutes (he paid for it so) you're stuck with nowhere to go, no way to call your family, and no money or shelter for the night.

well you've no way to do anything except for try to find somewhere to stay for the night and after getting glares from the couple shops you passed you decided it wasn't worth it to try going in. so with nowhere else to go (and your feet freezing) you shuffled as fast as you could to the nearby park where you curled up under the bridge that went over the bike trail. it was the only cover you could find. it started snowing soon after you settled into your spot.

you were out there for hours. you couldn't feet your hands, feet, nose, or cheeks. not to mention the fact that you were drifting in and out of consciousness. you vaguely heard a ringing sound but you were too out of it to think hard about where it was coming from. 

a bit earlier mare smoke traveled into phantoms place looking for you both. he'd tried texting you and then calling you but he got a 'this phone is no longer in service' message that had him confused.

he looks around, no you? but he finds phantom sitting in your shared bedroom drinking whiskey. he walks in and asks where you are and he's been calling for ages. that’s when phantom unloads the whole thing onto mare and mare just listens silently. mare lets him finish then silence sits between them both for a minute before mare asks  

"And when did this all happen? Like when did anti say this happened?" 

phantom says on so and so date three days ago and mare tells phantom he's stupid. phantom looks up from his drink and mare looks pissed, eyes black and the tear tracks under them black as well.

"I know anti's full of shit cuz she was with me then. We spent the day pulling pranks then we came back here and binged The Office til she fell asleep." 

dread starts to fill phantoms gut. mare starts screaming at him, his form half smoke as he calls phantom every shitty thing in the book, demanding to know where he left you. 

"Where'd you leave her asshole?! I've gotta find her so where'd you dump her, huh?!"

it's a huge scream fest but phantom pulls his phone out and makes a call and soon your phone is back to normal and he starts calling you over and over but you don’t answer. that makes them both nervous so phantom has his tech person track the GPS on your phone. you didn't get far. they see you're about 10 blocks down at the park. 

"SHE'S AT THE FUCKING PARK?! IN 20 DEGREE WEATHER!?" 

 mare is...upset.

well they find you, huddled under a bridge and passed out, and the skin on your face/hands/feet looks red. needless to say they take to to the ER. you're rushed in and they have to wait to see if you're okay. some time later a doc comes out and calls the two and tells them you've got the beginning stages of pneumonia and mild frostbite on your toes, a few fingers, and your ears. thankfully you weren't exposed to the cold long enough for the frostbite to be severe enough to need amputation but the doc says you'll need to stay in observation until you were in the clear.

things are...stilted when you wake up later. 

mare explains what happened (phantom is too ashamed to say anything) you don’t say anything for a time until finally you just say, 

"I'll stop by and pick up my stuff once they discharge me." 

oh boy that whips phantom into action 

“What, why? You don't have to do that." 

but you refuse to look at him. 

"No, I think I do. You made it clear that I'm no longer welcome there. I'll go stay at a friend's or something til I can get a job so I can support myself again." 

phantom tells you he's sorry for being so gullible and to please not leave. you don't want to hear it really. this whole thing was a freezing cold wake up call.

"Phantom when we started dating I had a job and my own place. And over time you convinced me I didn't need that job and you could support me and soon after you and I moved in together."

"....I completely relied on you and your support. Fuck...you even pay for my phone."

"I trusted you more than anyone else. And at the first shitty doctored photo you cut me off like a diseased limb and threw me out on the street like wet garbage. You didn't even let me try to explain my side."

"...I just....I can't rely so heavily on someone like that anymore. Not after last night. I have to stand on my own two feet. They're the only support I can unwaveringly trust it seems."

he says he understands he messed up bad but pleads with her not to just leave. he says she can stay at his hotel if she needs. but she stares down at the blanket in her lap and sighs. 

"I just...need to have my own space right now. The...level of trust you had in me apparently wasn't on the same level as what I had in you so I think some time apart will be good for us. I just...I need to think, Phantom." 

i’m not sure she'd agree to get back together with him tbh

if she did agree to try again, things are clearly different. before he would sometimes just spoil her with fancy dates and gifts and she'd shyly accept them. but now they make her uncomfortable at best. she no longer appreciates expensive gifts and would prefer having her own place. she also got a job and gave him back his cell phone and got her own. and it hurts him every time she winces when he buys her something. each frown she gives is a stark reminder of his catastrophic fuck up.

she accepts the stuff he gets her, begrudgingly. 

but he pops over to her place one day to pick her up for a date and she's still in the shower so he explores her apartment. it's small, but tidy. he goes into her room and stops when he sees the stuff he gave her. all sat neatly by her closet, all unopened and unused. 

he knew it wasn't because she didn't like the stuff. it was all stuff she'd desired but he knew in his heart she didn't trust him enough to use or wear any of it and that hurt more than he thought it would. he knew it was all sat like that, ready to give back to him, should he do something stupid like before.

i think things would slowly start to get closer to where they were before after one night phantom drinks a bit too much and actually cries all over s/o, telling her he's so sorry for hurting her like this and wishing he could go back to stop it but he cant. how she's gonna be hurt forever because of his shitty anger and she didn't deserve that and he doesn't deserve her but he loves her and he trusts her even if he was shit at proving it and if she gives him another chance then he swears he'll do everything he can to prove he deserves her love again.

s/o before then had never seen phantom cry, not even the night she almost got frostbite so this was a bit jarring. then she feels sad because this has apparently been eating away at him for a very long time. and despite her...more self sufficient behavior she really has forgiven him. she still wants to keep her job and pay for her own necessities but aside from that she's happy to start over with him so the next day, 

after he's gotten past his headache, she comes in wearing a red dress he bought her. he's like 'you're wearing it?' and she just smiles and kisses his cheek and asks him if he wants to go on a date. they end up getting some dinner at one of his clubs.

yeah it's gonna take a lot of time and effort on both of their ends, and communication but i think they can salvage their relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~

Here just thought maybe some of y’all might wanna see this!

@smolwash @sunrisehoneybee @sierracolorstheworldofwords @tiny-yan-anon

#my writing #phantom nwtb #phantom x reader #x reader #natewantstobattle egos #Phantom #egos

[hobiwonder]

An Open Letter to BTS

Hi guys, time for another rant *cue idol*

So I recently watched a video on youtube by this girl SherlizaMoe (i think that's her yt user) on colourism in Kpop, Asia and in a BTS context. She talked about her struggles as a teenager with her skin colour, using lighter makeup in cosplay and generally just being a victim to the whole lighter-is-beautiful mentality before she finally started to love and feel comfortable in her own skin. She also touches on colourism in Asian countries such as India, China, Korea, Philipines etc. It's a great video and touches on a little but if everything for example why it is so prevailant, the historical reasons behind it and the mainstream stars now contributing to colourist ideas by promoting whitening creams, skin bleaches etc.

In that video she touched on kpop as well and more specifically, BTS. She obviously showed an older clip of Namjoon saying how he couldn't see Tae or Hoseok because they were "too black". Now, he has apologized and genuinely moved on from him ignorant beliefs and is very self-reflective and self-aware. It's evident in how much he has grown as a person that we don't need him to constantly apologize or reassure people with his words when we can see in his actions and personality that he has changed.

BUT I will say, the reason for my post is that I see the most change in Namjoon. He made a mistake and he learned from it. What hurts me the most - as it always did in the past but i ignored it like a dumbass - is that how the rest of the group members, unknowningly or knowingly i can't say, are still a victim of that mentality that lighter is the way to go. They may not say it directly but we all know actions speak louder than words. More specifically, Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung are the ones I still see that indirectly make these inferences.

For example, ever since their debut, there have been mupltiple instances in season's greetings, summer package and most of all, Bon Voyage where Jimin has made a commeny about other members getting tanner. He has called Jungkook a kamdoongie years back and I remember it was a big deal for a while until everyone - including myself - dismissed it as them being young and dumb. But that is it. I do think that Jimin still hasn't realised it. That his words and sometimes actions do hurt Army such as myself who are of tanner or very dark complexion. He constantly makes a note of Jungkook tanning, often teasing him for getting tanned which I have found hurtful myself and I can't imagine how Jungkook must feel.

I will say, it's Jimin who contributes the most in terms of his teasing comments. We all know the tan JK got in BV2 and all laughed at it as it sort of became a meme. Because he got a weird tan line, the members made fun of him and it was evident that it was mostly because of the weird tan line and not for getting tanned at all. However, when I watched the new BV, I was honestly kind of really weirded out by the amount of sunscreen Tae, Jungkook and Jimin would put on. Jimin pointed out that Jungkook got a weird tan last time so he should put sunblock on. Whoever has watched the new season can tell that he is teasing - albiet playfully - and then jungkook proceeds to put sunblock on every surface visible.

It's the same when Tae gets to Malta. The scene where he could be a mime with how white his face was because of the sheer amount of sunscreen he was putting on. In episode 2 or 3 I think, Jimin tells jungkook that he has already gotten darker. It's at the restaurant they are eating at so it might be second episode. Throughout the series, they just put on butload of sunscreen like it's going to stop them from tanning. I'm guessing Namjoon doesn't know otherwise he would clown them I think lmao that sunscreen DOESN'T stop you from tanning. It literally just filters the UV rays so the sun isn't going to cause damage and diseases like skin cancer. It does NOT stop production of melanin so regardless, you still get tanned. But we can all tell that that's precisely the reason they keep on slapping sunscreen - to prevent tanning.

Jungkook and Yoongi both wear dark clothes, covering their whole bodies to prevent from getting tanned. I moreso think that's why jungkook wore full sleeves. With Yoongi, maybe not so much but maybe he also wore full sleeves to avoid tanning. I don't see another reason he would be wearing dark full sleeve clothes in the sweltering heat. Namjoon goes out and buys sleevless shirts, Hoseok wear short sleeves, shorts, flowy shirts. Lile you can tell that Namjoon doesn't give a shit about getting tanned and niether does hoseok.

What strikes me the most is that despite Jimin making these comments, he wears shorts, doesn't slap on a gallon of sunscreen because I have noticed he doesn't tan as quickly or as much. We all remember debute Jimin. He wore sleevless and was tan probably because at that time, he was a trainee, went to school, etc. Now he is considerably paler because his wardrobe has changed and sometimes your complexion DOES shift. Mine was much darker when i was young and now im a few shades lighter but still very tan.

Now let's talk about their selfies. All selfies they upload, you can tell that they have either chosen the filter that is the lightest or their exposure is super high. Don't come at me that they are naturally pale or that they don't use filters because even when they are outside, you. can TELL that they have used a filter. It really, really hurts me guys. As I imagine other armies. I may sound dramatic but it is the truth. Seeing men who are my rolemodels, not embrace their own skin because of the societal norms of what is considered beautiful and what is not. It's kind of contradictory to their message and I hope Namjoon can educate them a little more on the impact they are having by these subtle things they do.

I'm not calling Jimin bad, or anyone else in the group. I love then dearly and BECAUSE I love them, I want them to be better people. The recent picture Jungkook posted in Fancafe. Have you guys seen how whitewashed that is? Like why do they appear so gorgeously tan and golden in the US? Any show outside of Korea they have gone to, they can be seen in their true skin colours. In Korea, the culture is to just put a wash to their cameras so everyone appears lighter than they are. BTS stands for not following the societal norm, to change things we are not happy with. Just because it's the culture, doesn't mean it is right. It is colourism. I was fortunate enough to have a family who empowered me and made me feel comfortable in my own skin. But not everyone has that.

Especially in Korea, Brazil, India, Indonesia and other developing counties who have these farmful beauty standards as a replacement for equal rights and opportunities to climb up the social hierarchy. I'm not claiming to know everything but i hope you get the gist of it. And I hope they can learn and move away from these ideas that lighter is beautiful. I'm sure many people feel the same way. If I am to criticise other groups for colourism, I want my own ult group to change.

I am also not saying lighter skin is bad or that BTS should be always tan. Skin colours change according to the weather we all know. But what I am saying is completely different.

That's all thanks for reading if you did. Check out these videos for more context.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c4jhLttgQkk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_YhxShoelz4 - Jackie Aina talking about skin bleaching.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UBhQus4yr5Q

- Skin bleaching documentary. It's something that is practiced all around Asia and Africa.

#bts #kpop #colourism #I hope you guys understand what i mean #i wrote this while walking to the library lmao #everyone i watch on yt was talking about this or a similar topic so i just had to say what i wanted to get off my chest

[custer-mp3]

long-ass general life update for you nosy bitches // tw: men, my bad legs

so boring to say i’m settling in but i am, i just wish there was something better to call it

there was somebody camped out in the back of the park across from our house down by the railroad tracks, on what we think is technically railroad property, and the parks department came today and tried to haul their shit away without a police order cuz “it’s just trash” no dude it’s a tent that’s someone’s home you leave it the fuck alone so Agatha screamed at them until they went away but then the cops came by & tagged it so now they have 3 days to move or the parks department’s allowed to come back & take their shit away

when we were trying to figure out whose site it so so we could reach out to them thru the drop-in center we noticed the tent was locked but had been cut open and the rain fly was ripped off and Agatha says it’s probably fine but it looked like somebody rolled their shit hella bad & i’m just worried about whoever it is, it looked like multiple people (or at least a guy and a girl) and i hope they’re okay like. physically

thanksgiving weekend launched me into the flare of the century i’m still not recovered from. i dared unpack my boxes of books yesterday (which were all small!! 6 free USPS boxes!!) and my knees had just. Had It. from that 20 minutes of activity. my wrists and elbows are flaring rly bad rn too & i had to buy ankle braces cuz my Achilles was already super fucked up from moving & like. whole body hurts.

i was limping around super bad at work--like unable to actually walk, just kinda toddling around in slow-mo if they needed me to move somewhere--and my manager made fun of me to my face IMITATING MY LIMP ON BLACK FRIDAY when i requested a break then my ASM and tenured keyholder ALSO made fun of me on Hell Saturday and i’m going to burn the entire store down

marina says report them to HR but that’s not very anarchist of me and i just don’t care enough to ruin their lives cuz it’s a temp job anyway and i can make it thru the holiday surely but it’s also like. i am the most able-bodied disabled person i know. i get more shit done in a day with 2 nonfunctional legs and fucked up arms and guts that are trying to escape my body and The Brain Fog TM than most people in full health do. if you’re being this awful to ME to my fkn FACE, ON THE CLOCK, how awful are you to “““actually disabled”““ ppl like out in the world on your free time

i just hate that there are no buses on sundays, no buses after 7, and i keep getting put on these dumb fucking late closes that mean either paying $15 for an Uber or walking the 3 miles home in the dark and the cold and some days i just physically Cannot with my Body and have to pay for the Uber which sucks ass cuz i’m making barely above federal minimum wage again

but i’ve been walking dogs and stuff with Kara. she’s got a hot friend who saw the picture of my halloween costume she threw in the groupchat and apparently thinks i’m cute and has been inquiring about my existence ever since so she asked me if she could give him my number and like sure bro i’ve met this dude exactly once AND I DIDN’T HAVE EYEBROWS ON AND WAS STANDING THERE RUBBING MY EYEBROW STUBBLE IN MY OVERSIZED SLIPKNOT HOODIE AND PAJAMA PANTS but i would like him to throw me thru a brick wall so sure but then he tEXTED ME and we set up a hangout which was supposed to just be coffee but turned into a whole-ass actual lunch date which like. worm. and made out in my living room cuz why not.

yesterday we hung out again (the coffee i was promised) and walked dogs with Kara in the cemetery and went to Kinko’s and the sketchy Halloween store that’s still open in fkn December and also made out, and then he was like “we should have an Actual Date For Real People” and i was like mfkr what?!?????? is that not???? no??????????????

so that occurred t o d a y cuz you can’t call me anything but efficient and spoiler alert, it was NOT a Real People Date, it was a fkn punk shitbag date, we definitely smashed then cuddled and tried to get Parsnip to interact with the other cat in a peaceful fashion and listened to Ministry and helped Agatha with the camp/park service situation and dealt with the cops when they showed up and had the aUDAciTY to park in front of our house to pull that shit then ran errands and cuddled and went to a Food Not Bombs meeting like. mfkr. that aint a date. that’s hanging out. how. is the prior 2 things with designated start times and wearing Nice Shirts and Going In Public Together Solo and shit not dates but tODaY was a date. fkn. WHAT

anyway he’s simple and sweet and hilarious and pro-SW anarcho communist and insanely hot and self-deprecating and i want to climb him like a tree but he too is divorced once over and we’ve Talked about it & it’s made me feel Better about my own shit & like. i want him to throw me through a brick wall and buy me food and leave me alone, and he’s in a non-monogamous relationship with one of Kara’s friends and his partner’s like “bro u need to date other ppl so i don’t feel bad” and y’know, that’s fuckin stellar imo. for me.

like what this whole fkn Ordeal has made me realize is i actually hate being in capital-R-Relationships. i do NOT want the pressure of being somebody’s whole world, i do not want the EXPECTATION of being solely responsible for somebody’s emotional happiness and well-being, i just wanna be friends with people and hang out and make art and occasionally make out and otherwise be left alone to do my own thing so this is like. rad as fuck. that this just sorta fell into my lap fully-formed and i didn’t have to do a bunch of screening and dealing with fuckboys and everything i was dreading abt y’know. finding someone to make out with in the midwest

and it was all because of my dumbass pun-based nu-metal halloween costume, which is the best thing that’s happened to me in decades, so. thank u jonathan davis

but i’m making friends--mostly thru Kara, but the other fellow new KH at work is the oldest person in the store (older than me by a couple years) and ALSO super into all things manson-adjacent and ALSO super queer and everything and has given me a ride home a couple times and i love her so maybe we’ll end up being friends in the long run too--and like living with Kara’s been good cuz there are always people around and she doesn’t mind me inviting myself on stuff sometimes so

there’s some sort of Krampus parade thing this Saturday in which for $2 you can actually be beaten with sticks and the squad’s going to that and we’re all doing FNB on Sunday and i know aforementioned dude is gonna be there but also so is his partner so like. that’ll be Inch Resting. but. we’ll survive. ‘we’  meaning me.

idk if it’s some sort of fucked up coping mechanism from coming dead last in my own monogamous relationships for uhhhhhhhhhhhh my entire fucking life but y’know. i kinda just feel whatever abt it!! like cool!! there is the dude i am fast friends with and def have a mutual crush on and am also currently fucking! and there’s the person he’s been dating for 3.5 years and owns a house with, and they’re a Thing!! and idk where i fit and what the vibe’ll be idk if the partner’s other ppl are gonna be there too so it’ll be weird fr all of us or it’s just me and like honestly how do y’all NAVIGATE i just don’t wanna make fkn heart eyes at the wrong time or NOT make heart eyes at the wrong time U FEEL ME

but also y’know what, whatever, fine. i’m like the least possessive person in the universe. like. i like that it’s all out in the open and people aren’t running around on me or anybody else. can’t believe this is my life, honestly. idk if the squad was conspiring on this or what cuz kara has terminal Nice Person disease but. good job fam. 

i was in a real dark place this time last week and it only got worse over Hell Weekend, like. feeling directionless / unmotivated / isolated / lonely / traumatized / failure. it’s really been hitting me hard that i’m [redacted] years old & getting d*vorced & back in a punk house in a city i’d never set foot in before & working the shittiest shit job in the history of shit jobs and i’m never gonna see this person that was my best friend for so long again (cuz, y’know, i know i don’t talk abt the Private Life on here very often/in very concrete terms ~~this post being the exception~~ but. we were Best Friends. for a very long time) & i’m officially losing this friendship that meant so much to me and does mean so much to me, because i do care about him as a friend. like. fuck him as a spouse, he’s terrible at that, but as a friend i don’t want to see him struggling. which is bullshit. cuz he was abusing me and my life was a living goddamn hell in VA. but it’s hard to let go of the basis of the whole goddamn Ordeal to start with, and it’s hard to reconcile My Friend Whomst I Adore with My Ex-Husband Who Triggers Me On Purpose & Reads My Instagram Messages & Has Been Blackout Drunk For Months & Won’t Let Me Have Space Even In My Own Office, and it’s hard cuz the only people i know who’ve gone through something like this are dead. and all of that’s hitting at once. and i can put up with a lot of shit but i cannot put up with feeling like a failure within myself. and shit was truly fucking bleak.

so the whole social life thing just came at a good time y’know & even if things otherwise aren’t going the way i want there’s at least one good spot in my life. i got friends, i’m getting out of the house, i figured out where the good cemetery is, people are buying me food & talking me through all of this & rubbing the shaved part of my head & i’m happy

kara’s got a dr’s appt tmrw AM & the dude is apparently our designated Responsible Adult With Car so he’s picking her up from that & will be in my house once again tmrw morning & i fully plan on hiding in my room and pretending to be asleep cuz fuck that lmao don’t make me socialize i was not emotionally prepared for that

hayden sent me a 1995 Marilyn Manson gig poster and an enamel pin of a jackalope wearing a cone of shame & honestly??? i do not deserve him, talk about great friends

we need to get a frame for the poster but then me & kara are starting a MM wall in one of our living rooms & it’s gonna be great. the dude’s gonna come over with a drill & help me hang shelves in my room some time soon so i can finish getting unpacked cuz i’m just down to the boxes of art and getting all my shelf crap squared away & then i can finally finish Unpacking For Good

me & kara cried on the kitchen floor together last night from laughter bc i still have not learned my lesson in How Much Soup A Bowl Can Hold and my lizard brain was convinced if i got the beans under the liquid it would all fit, which, spoiler--it did not, and all my makeup ran off my face. it was that good. i love her so much

anyway thanks for listening check out the distro so i can buy groceries until my food stamp paperwork clears which will probably not be for almost another goddamn month i’m so pissed

xo

[cookinguptales]

update: lmao I am so fucking doped up right now. sorry to the world that I got behind on shimamatsu translations, but have you ever tried to translate while on muscle relaxants? it’s a bad scene. god, I’m in a lot of pain rn.

gonna talk about some of the movies from the film festival below the cut. doped up af but I’ve seen like 14 movies so far, hella. tomorrow I probably have to skip bc I just took two cyclos and that is gonna fuck me the hell up.

movies I’d recommend:

thelma a norwegian film which is basically a coming-of-age story for a fundie christian girl who goes to college and realizes she’s a lesbian. oh, and that she has insane supernatural powers. (it’s kind of carrie-ish but with canon f/f, but imo a lot better than carrie.) the love story is really interesting, if incredibly dark. like if you’re in the mood for dark, kind of mindfuck-y f/f, this is your film. despite the very long upcoming list of potential triggers, it’s not as scary or brutal as it sounds. lmao. highly recommended, probably the film I’ve enjoyed most so far. (tw: violence, nudity, drug use, death, [spoilers] child abuse, possible mind control, child death)

custody a french film based on a short film that I saw a few years ago, and it’s fantastic and gut-wrenching. the short film was about a woman running away from her abusive husband with her children; this feature-length film is about what happens when a stupid judge ignores what both the wife and children have to say and gives him joint custody. (spoilers: it doesn’t end well.) interestingly, it has all the same cast as the original short film, though the kids are markedly older. idk if it’s meant to be a straight sequel or if one just inspired the other. really well done, tho, I was fuckin white-knuckling it in the theater. people were like. yelling. the climax of that film is INTENSE. probably the best quality film we’ve seen so far, though I think the plot could’ve been tightened up a little. (tw: very explicit depictions of physical and emotional abuse, very terrifying moments. [spoilers] but no child death.)

I, Tonya tonya harding biopic. I’m not really a big one for biopics, but this was a good one. it tried to explain how harding’s life led her to where she got, but didn’t necessarily paint her as some innocent victim. it was sympathetic where it needed to be, empathetic where it needed to be, but rarely let her get away with bullshit. lot of good performances here, but Margot Robbie (even though she looked way too old for the part) did a great job. (tw: explicit child/spousal abuse)

the villainess Korean lady-gets-revenge-on-shitty-men bloody action flick. not really my genre, admittedly, but I feel like anyone who likes this kind of movie would really enjoy this one. very Kill Bill-esque. it’s the story of this girl who basically gets passed around between illicit assassination organizations, in-fighting, revenge on all those who wronged her, etc. it is Very Bloody and many people die. the action scenes are HQ if you are into that kind of thing. I was mostly invested in the huge amounts of f/f potential. like at one point she joins an assassin organization where all the operatives are female and that whole part of the movie!! was very gay!! the actual canon relationships are het, but there is a strong potential for dark f/f murderwives here. (tw: haha oh boy if it’s a problem it’s probably here. implied CSA, child abuse, creepy relationships, violence, gore, nudity, child death, everyone else death, non-con facial surgery...like it’s bloody af okay...)

love means zero this is a documentary about nick bollettieri, who’s this super famous tennis coach. (apparently.) I knew next to nothing about the world of professional tennis going into this documentary, but I still enjoyed it bc wtf this guy is a piece of work. it’s basically all about how he fucked over a ton of people (especially kids) when he was trying to make tennis champions. and how he succeeded! by fucking over a ton of people! the interviews with him are honestly kind of wild bc he’s just such a crazy narcissist. this was especially weird for me to watch bc I grew up in the sarasota/bradenton area and never even knew all this shit was going on there. it was weird seeing my hometown on the screen like that, but also interesting. (tw: child abuse, just generally being a fuckboi)

MOVIES THAT WERE OKAY but like I had Issues

brimstone and glory I feel like I really recommend going out to see this one if you can see it on the big screen. it’s a documentary about a fireworks festival in Mexico and honestly the cinematography is stunning. it’s just so, so, so cool. but the actual documentary part is kind of boring sometimes, and you gotta have a strong stomach bc it also shows some of the injuries people get at this insane festival. like I don’t think showing that is a bad thing; I think it’s the only responsible way to make a documentary about this festival. like it’s amazing, it’s so cool, but also these people are like. going blind, losing hands, dying. and taking their kids!! like if you cannot handle watching kids in dangerous situations, don’t go!! dad was freaking out, lmao. (tw: graphic depiction of real-life injuries)

radiance a Japanese film about a woman who writes audio description for blind movie-goers. the same director made An (Sweet Bean Paste) a couple years ago, which was notable for its depiction of what Japan does to its citizens who have Hansen’s Disease. (leprosy.) it was weird to me when that movie came out that none of the reviewers really talked about that aspect of the movie; they were all like “UGH IT WAS SO POINTLESS AND CLOYING” and I’m like “did you miss the point of the movie?? which was critiquing the social ostracization of these people in Japanese society??? did that completely go over your heads????” anyway, I appreciated the depiction of PWD in Japan bc having lived there while disabled, I know that shit isn’t easy. that’s why I went to go see radiance. it was...okay? I think the most interesting part was when they let the blind characters talk. the movie was otherwise pretty pretentious and self-indulgent. lmao. like... it’s a rent, don’t buy situation.

marlina the murderer in four acts this movie was not bad! it’s an indonesian film about a woman whose home is invaded and she kills all the invaders. it’s definitely a film that critiques misogyny in indonesian culture, but I feel like it undercut its own message by showing such incredibly graphic rapes. like honestly, I don’t really ever recommend movies that have very graphic rape scenes, but I guess she does end up killing her rapists during the rape scenes. I just. I feel like it could have been done in a way that won’t get people all sexually excited while watching a violent rape. : / y’know? other than that, though, I really liked the female characters in the movie and sympathized with marlina’s journey trying to get society to help her and realizing she had to just go it alone with her female friends. bc like. she’s attacked by men, but she’s also revictimized by shitty ordinary men all the time she’s trying to get to town, report the attack, etc. and so are the other female cahracters. so they just. have to be vigilantes. (tw: GRAPHIC rape, violence, mild gore, spousal abuse)

newton Indian film about a guy going out to the jungle to get votes in the main election. but like. none of the people out there even know who the candidates are, there’s a lot of anti-government violene, the villagers are caught between anarchists and the police, it’s just a mess. and I do think the movie was good at showing the futility of it all and showing how the people who really end up getting fucked over are the poor people in rural areas, but at the same time like. pacing was uneven, tone was ???, and I found the protagonist irritating. and there was what appeared to be some pasted on het which made no sense. (like honestly I cannot figure out why she ever wanted to talk to his dumb ass again.)

blade of the immortal it’s takashi miike making blade of the immortal. I mean. I feel like if you are familiar with those names, you already know if you want to see it or not. if you aren’t, idk how much you’d like it anyway. after already having watched miike’s ace attorney adaptation, I sense a pattern. the guy just looks at a HUGE corpus (like a VG with 5 cases, or a manga with 40 volumes) and is like “welll....then I guess we better make things fast.” so you have Big Bads being introduced in the same breath that they get killed, 30-second backstories, just a frenetic pace and a huge amount of information, and it’s confusing and overwhelming if you don’t already know it. and honestly, I haven’t read BotI so I can’t say how faithful this was. but if you already love the characters and just want miike’s trademark bloody action flick style, then I mean. fair enough. this here’s a bloodbath. I had a hard time getting emotionally invested as a fresh viewer, tho. highlight of the evening: an old man walking out grumbling about how he only likes classy martial arts movies, and apparently this did not qualify. having seen a lot of classics of the martial arts genre, still unsure what a “classy” martial arts film looks like. (tw: offscreen rape, death, blood, gore, just an unreasonable amount of killing honestly like it was funny by the end, attempted CSA)

gemini this is a “neo-noir” thriller. so essentially a murder mystery. unfortunately, the title of the movie basically gives away the entire story lmao. so while the build-up wasn’t bad, the entire last 15-20 minutes of the movie are a total letdown. it was nice to see canon f/f, I guess, but I feel like the movie never went in hard enough on that. like were they trying to make a point about how hard it is for celebrities to have same-sex relationships? I’m not sure!! I can think of a lot of things that would make this plot more interesting, but they just didn’t do them. acting was fine, I guess. John Cho was in it, even if his character was pointless. Zoe Kravitz is always fun. (tw: I mean it’s a murder mystery. so...murder.)

DID NOT ENJOY

scaffolding (israeli film, boring af)

the workshop (french film, kind of boring, makes questionable points about neo-nazis)

#haha I'm dying squirtle #if anyone wants a full review on any of these I'd be happy to #these are just some hot takes #i tonya #thelma #custody #the villainess #love means zero #brimstone and glory #radiance #marlina the murderer in four acts #newton #blade of the immortal #gemini #scaffolding #the workshop

[hagiographically]

Could you talk more about Stanford stereotypes regarding literally anything (idk majors?) bc they way how you explain them is literally so funny/good

lmao aw ily, you can always come to me if u want my opinion related to anything stanford (stereotypes about dorms, sports teams, greek life, a cappella ??) because i have A Lot Of It - i only wish i was more integrated with the school cuz most of my opinions are hearsay instead of personal experience

major stereotypes….hmm thats hard cuz there are So Many majors but i can just go with the most common ones and group some together, etc

engineering:

aero/astro - small department full of space nerds, most of them are in SSI, drones, i personally consider them very brainy and if i were better at engineering i would be aero/astro cuz i think it’s the next frontier. there should definitely be more women in it for sure

bioe - my ex was bioe, they’re a bunch of nerds but they have good enough hearts. they care about curing diseases and shit

CS - oh boy. ohhhhhh boy. here we fuckin go. honestly CS is barely even a sterotype at stanford cuz its such a dominant culture…..the people who decide what stereotypes even are, are probably CS. it’s gotten to the point where if i meet someone and they aren’t CS it’s worth noting. it’s gotten to the point where, in my psych/literature/communications/education classes, i expect the other people to be CS. i have so many Opinions on CS Boys because CS Boys are such!!!!a!!!type!!!! (and different from just, a boy who does CS). they worship the trinity of google, facebook, and microsoft. their junior summer internship is at least one of these. they buy into all silicon valley startup culture and they love elon musk and talk about venture capital when its really not welcome. they love talking about how much work they have and how little they sleep. all INTJs. probably virgos. there is also a subgenre of CS boy who didnt come into stanford wanting to do CS and ended up switching because its easier to be a CS Boy at stanford. they criticize the culture all the time. to this you can say, “it’s all right, craig, i know you just want to make money.”

CME - people major in this when they dont love themselves

design - i personally think this major is fuckin cool and considered it before i realized physics was a pre-req. the d school is thought to be d for douchey though because their whole shtick is so ~ideate~ ~prototype~ ~We Are Quirky and Put Post-Its On Walls~ but i dug it as a frosh. they can be kinda condescending, but theyre by far the most interdisciplinary dept in the engineering major (although its also full of white men who think theyre hot shit cuz they can use photoshop)

EE - again for people who lack self love, its supposed to be so fuckin hard

MS&E - white frat boys who glorify jordan belfort

ME - similar to design. live at the PRL. stay up till ungodly hours carving wood. somehow this is enjoyable. also white male heavy

who knows how the f to categorize this:

education - if i could do stanford over i would major in this. usually very diverse, woke, often come from underprivileged backgrounds so they want to make it better for other people and reach communities that arent currently benefited (unlike silicon valley or wall street :) ) i respect them because they do what they love and not to make $ although if educational engineering were a thing im certain people would jump ship. it’s also not in the humanities dept so i feel like theyre Above the stanford hegemony and i love that

earthsys - i considered a minor in this. usually sweet, earth-friendly people. white but woke. possibly queer. granola loving hippies and maybe some frathletes who want an “easy” major but not sure (im not shitting on easy majors. i have one. love ‘em)

generally i like girls in any of the engineering depts because they are dealing with sexism and doing it. the boys are oftentimes extremely self-congratulatory and will usually say something dumb about the humanities. even the girls will hit you with the “oh i wish i could study that!” about any non-engineering discipline, and it’s implied that what they’re really saying is “but i care about my future too much!” 

humanities/sciences:

AAAS/chicanx studies/asian-american studies/CSRE - woke poc who use lots of buzzwords and say things like folx

art - the people who major in art are usually more quiet than you’d think. we have an Artsy Type at stanf that are kind of extra (theta chi/EBF types, also very woke QPOC) but i dont think theyre art majors for the most part. i barely know any actual art Majors. lots of engineers just do art on the side

bio - i love bio majors because they are sciency but also get shit on by engineers so we’re in solidarity. they are sweet and study all the time and just wanna make the world a better place. there’s also the pre-med kind of bio who i would hate if i were also pre med but since im not i just kind of admire and fear them

chem - i like chem people much more than i thought i would. again a very small major and they just live in lab and have varied non chem interests. this year i accidentally became friends with like 6 people from the chem fraternity and i was surprised how much i liked them

complit/english - i was this major! english in creative writing are usually chill, interesting people. complit and english in literature…….it’s a shakespeare circlejerk and they hit you with the Discourse. overly educated white people. avoid the boys specifically but the girls can also be incredibly self-satisfied. maybe 50/50. but if you take a creative writing class instead of a lit class, the CW kids are usually awesome

taps - our drama department. they’re nice, but extra and intimidating. (also stanford theater is…..okay….not really as good as they seem to think it is yikes that was mean but) however, like with english, take an introductory class and you’ll meet very cool non-taps majors.

econ - oftentimes wonderful people! outside of class that is

femgen - same people as the AAAS/CSRE crowd except whiter. queer girls with undercuts. upperclassmen are intimidating to many. everyone shares their opinion even when its not warranted. my honors is in this

film studies - this was almost my minor and if i werent CW i might have doubled in film and comm! i dont know any film majors but if they arent a cole sprouse im sure theyre fine (they are probably a cole sprouse)

german/italian/french/spanish language or studies - spot the person who studied abroad!

history - like english, can be cool, more likely pretentious

humbio - the other premeds! actually humbio gets shit on alllll the time for being easy or having a fluff major, bio majors think they’re soft. thus, i like them. their course catalog is awesome and its a huge major but all the scary pre meds are straight up bio and humbios are softer but in a good way its a lot of sweet girls

intl relations - one of my favorite majors. usually very down to earth, the best of the IR/poli-sci/pub-po trinity. however, they can also be self-congratulatory for being So Woke and also they love to educate you when You Didn’t Ask

linguistics - weird, diverse people. very small major. similar to anthro, my old major. i love small majors they always have cute dinners together

MCS - a hard fuckin major. not as “Look How Smart I Am” as a bad CS. mostly quiet and stay in and study their ass off

math - love to wax poetic about the beauty of math. fun when drunk. not when sober

philosophy/MTL/classics - avoid. classics can be okay if it overlaps with archaeology because theyre just a bunch of nerds and they get really excited and its cute. phil majors would rather just educate you about how free will is fake and youre like tim can you please just get out of the way we’re in the dining hall and you’re blocking the cornbread

physics - Avoid. they think all other sciences are lesser. women and POC are ok

poli-sci - hit or miss. generally pretty friendly. very talkative. fun to talk to about Not Politics

psych - the best major hehe. generally liberal and woke and often queer. however, non-psych people in psych classes can be a nightmare (unlike english, taps, etc) and problematic as fuck. also sometimes psych majors are extra (exhibit a: me)

pub policy - probably in student government. im biased against it, but go in with hesitation. student government is by and large not as effective as they seem to think (however, a “woke” person in pub po might be cool because they will campaign for sexual assault awareness and economic diversity and good stuff)

STS - ohhhhh man. probably the major that gets most shit on at stanford. i think engineers think it’s fake. (humbio, design, and STS get shit on the most i’d say, because they are interdisciplinary STEM majors, so engineers think that they’re for people who arent smart enough to do hard majors. whereas with english or IR, engineers know they couldnt do it because they havent written an essay since 2009, so they offer grudging respect) a frathlete major. i personally like it because i dig interdisciplinary shit, but i don’t dig frat boys or athletes so i avoid. some of their courses are great but it does seem kind of scrapped together as a major and i dont know how people outside of stan see it

sociology - a small major, seems cool. stigmatized but not by stanford because stanford students dont know it exists. “dont you mean psychology?” no

urban studies - skaters? who knows. i respect them tho. i think they care about….like….architecture? and city development? its a very niche thing and i feel like it’s pretty hip n happening

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