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spider-biter · 2 years

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Table 25 (Steven Grant/reader)

Warnings: none

Words: a lot

Cross posted to Ao3! Reader is a host btw. This author doesn’t know how to add the read more area on mobile so 🫡

“Hey, I think we’re all good to go, just make sure the door is locked and you can leave,” I said to Becca, double checking the sections for tomorrow. Hostessing was just so fun.

“What? You getting overtime or something?” She raised her eyebrow. “Or do you have a super secret hot date right after this?” I rolled my eyes before grabbing the keys out of the drawer and passing them to her

“Shut up and lock the door or else I’ll make you stay and help the servers roll silverware,” I threatened.

“Fine by me then girl, just don’t get killed.” She quickly locked the door & double-checked it, before eyeing up table 25.

Table 25. The one that had held “mystery man” as we dubbed him. He clearly got stood up on a date, and I couldn’t help but stare at him all night. Rebecca had had an absolute field day with that.

“As if,” I scoffed, taking the keys away from her.

“You don’t know! The whole sad guy who got stood up could all be an act.” She whispered as she dug her own out of her purse.

“To do what exactly?”

“To… I don’t know!! Steal your kidneys!”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Fine, if I wake up tomorrow in a bath of ice minus one kidney I’ll call you. But for now go home!”

She flipped me off and then made half a heart with her pointer and middle finger before walking out the door.

I smiled and turned my attention back to the seating chart.

Check, check, and check.

Everything was all prepped for the openers, the sections were all cleared, it was just a few stragglers and….him.

Mystery man was around 5 9”, clearly British (which would’ve been -1 point but I am in London so), and had this aura about him. I would find myself glancing his way, staring at him throughout my shift. Of course my heart broke that he got stood up, I mean he looks like a 10. He was polite, even giving an old lady her quid that she dropped on the ground. And he was absolutely breathtaking.

His phone ringing snapped me out of my weird stalkerish trance.

Right. Job. Responsibilities. I signed off everything for the night and collected my things.

Punching in my number to clock out was quite possibly the slowest thing I’ve ever done. In all honesty I was dragging. What was tonight going to be except another night of the same exact thing I always do?

Sitting home alone with my cat, reading for class, taking a shower, then sleeping. I sighed. When was my life so boring? I should be out enjoying my life!!! But I’m stuck, at a shitty hosting job in a city that I’ve never even explored, with 3 friends, a cat, and no one else. Work was not the place to spiral so I quickly shoved those thoughts out of my head as I clocked out. I turned my head over to 25 to steal one last glance at mystery man.

His phone call seemed to be over, but in a very meloncholic way. His hand slowly dropped down, the phone long forgotten. He was muttering something under his breath, his brows furrowing in disbelief. It felt like slow motion, seeing his eyes get extra shiny, the aura around him completely shifting.

Something pushed me to go to him. It was one of those thoughts or impulses that shouted in your brain. It got louder

And louder

And louder.

The next thing I know, I’m 7 feet away from him and frozen.

What the actual fuck am I doing????

I don’t know him! I can’t just walk up to him and say “hi, I’ve been staring at you all night, and I have no idea who you are but should we go out on a date?” I should go home. Yep. That’s exactly what I should be doing.

Not messing with this man and his sad phone calls. Not getting involved in his life or getting lost in his eyes. Not planning out a life where we make breakfast together, study on late nights, or slow dance in our living room to Elvis Presley.

Not taking a risk that could end up being the best thing in my life.

Fuck.

The impulse was screaming in my head.

While I was having my quarter life crisis, his waiter finally came out of the back kitchen.

Time felt like it was in slow motion.

His waiter, Drew, approached him. “The kitchen is about to close sir, is there anything you would like before it does?”

I could feel my legs move towards table 25

“I- um- yeah-“ he stumbled over his words, clearly caught off guard. He cleared his throat, snapping him out of his own quarter life crisis.

Rebecca is gonna flip when she hears about this.

“We’ll have 2 house salads. No the tomatoes on mine, god I hate them.” I said. Both of them stared at me surprised as I set my bag down and sat in the plush leather chair.

“Also, please for godsakes, don’t have Allen make them. I swear to god he makes them taste like sand. Do you want tomatoes?” I asked the mystery man who was blinking at me as if I wasn’t real.

We sat in silence for all of 2 seconds before he finally caught up.

“To- oh yes! Um- sure I’ll gladly have tomatoes!”

“Strike 1.” I said smiling. “What dressing do you want?” I picked up the menu, even though I could recite all of the dressings in my sleep. Thank you training!

“Um- do you have balsamic?” He asked trying to search the menu.

Drew looked completely stunned. She had been staring at both me and the mystery man for a solid minute during the entire tomato-dressing conversation. Both I and the mystery man looked up at her when she finally snapped out of it and scribbled on her waiter pad.

“Yes! Yes we do have balsamic. You said 2 house?” She asked me.

I nodded and handed her my menu.

“One 86 tomatoes, with French vinaigrette. The other with balsamic. I’ll also take a water please. And you can just bring the check whenever, I know you wanna go home.” I smiled up at her and took mystery man’s menu out of his way, and passed it up to her. She shot me a smile of appreciation before grabbing them and hustling to the kitchen.

I turned back to MM and smiled.

Oh shit.

“Don’t forget my discount or I’ll double seat you next shift!” I quickly yelled back to her. She gave me a thumbs up out of the kitchen door.

I turned back to MM smiling. “Sorry if you didn’t want a salad” I blushed as reality finally hit me.

I’m on an impromptu date, with a random man I’ve never met, only gazed longingly at. What the actual fuck.

He seemed to be realizing the same thing too, except he also realized that I had said something.

“No! Nononono- I’m- im vegan so I was probably going to get the salad anyways- I mean I was about to go home but then you came in and now im about to eat a salad with a wonderful mystery person, who’s name I don’t even know…” he rambled.

Drew dropped a glass of water off at the table and winked at me as she went by. I flipped her off before turning back to mystery man.

“Well, to be fair I don’t know your name” I pointed out, sipping my water. He looked surprised before his eyes softened.

“Grant. Steven Grant,” he smiled

“Steven Grant. Do you normally introduce yourself like a super secret international spy or am I just special?” I raised my eyebrow.

He laughed.

And I’ve never heard anything more angelic in my life.

“Nope, ah- it’s just a you thing I guess” he smiled.

“Well Steven” I said elongating his name, “I do hope that if you are a super secret international spy, you at least bring me to one of those cool spy galas they always have.”

Just imagining this man in a full tuxedo did something that was not meant to be felt in my workplace.

He softly chuckled, “I wish- I’m just a gift shopist at the museum,”

“Do you like it?” I asked him.

“What?” He was caught off guard. He probably expected me to just nod and continue on.

“Do you like your job?” I questioned.

“I- um- yeah I guess so” he said

“Then you’re not ‘just’ a gift shopist. You’re doing something you love,” I smiled softly.

He furrowed his brow, as though he never thought of it like that. He looked up from his hands on the table and smiled at me. “Yeah- I uh- I guess so huh?”

“I promise I’m not usually this optimistic about life” I smirked.

“So it’s just a me thing huh?” He joked. My heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

“Yeah… it is just a you thing I guess” I repeated his words back to him, my chest filling with warm fuzzies.

We sat there like 2 idiots smiling before he quickly realized something.

“Well what do you do? Wait- well like obviously you host here but, besides that”

It was my turn to be embarrassed. “Um- I’m actually uh- getting my doctorate right now..” I looked away. I’ve never been this embarrassed talking about myself before. What was this man doing to me??

“Wicked!! That’s awesome, what are you studying?” He was genuinely interested. His eyes shined with excitement. I haven’t felt so validated in my life.

“Uh- The psychological theology side of ancient cultures with a focus on Egyptian and Aztec deities. Like why did they believe in these gods? Why are theirs animalistic when every other culture sees the gods as flesh and bone human?” I don’t know why I went into as much detail. Most dates I go on, they barely ask me what I do with my life, let alone the topic of my dissertation.

2 beats of silence and I wanted to bash my head through a door.

“That’s….. absolutely incredible”

What. The. Fuck.

“You think?”

“I know! That’s bloody amazing! Egyptians saw their gods as animals as a way to keep them tied to their specific nature throughout time-“ he cut himself off, as though he just realized something. “Was this entire conversation just to keep me from learning your name?” He said as a joke

“No of course not!” I said mock offended.

He leaned closer to my side of the table, smiling. “Then what is it?”

I rolled my eyes and said my name. He repeated it back.

“Ding ding ding. Although the last part might be changing soon” I smirked and stirred my drink.

“Changing? To what?” He said, very confused.

I smiled and leaned across the table. I whispered softly in his ear.

“Grant.”

#Steven Grant #moonknight #mcu #marvel #Steven Grant reader #Steven Grant x reader #moonknight x reader #slay #no #Marc Spector x reader #adorable Steven Grant #slightly out of character Steven #sorry lmfao

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dreamanduality · 4 months

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New Moon in Capricorn: Intl Hearing of Isreals Acts of Genocide

Is this a coincidence? No, not in any way + to add to my thinking that this was intentionally planned for quiet, unobserved detrimental viewing...noting the BBC was silent and did not air the first hearing.

The Moon in Capricorn is uncomfy, cold, and meloncholically longing.

The power shift of the unseen being seen...is unfolding. I want to say I'm sorry to those who are just becoming aware of so much, I know that it's overwhelming--I also know that these words mean nothing. On this end of the lens it's nice to be able to talk about it, to remind you that you are not alone in feeling that hard and cold--in not knowing what to do when the numbness sets in.

More on this to come, maybe. Let me know if you would like elaboration in the comments. Or go check out my post 2020 astrology. Much is loosely mentioned in the large overview.

-k

#free palestine #free gaza #landback #electional astrology #traditional astrology #saturn #new moon #moon in capricorn #moon #uranus #saturn mars cycle #astrologer #horoscope #astrology #astro community

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nursingscience · 1 year

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GNM Nursing psychology - Karnataka state

Chapter 5: Personality

Contents:

• Meaning and definition, types, development and organisation theories of personality

• Psychometric assessments of personality

• Will and character in personality

• Alterations in personality

• Applications

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Notes

|| Personality ||

¶ Personality: The word personality is derived from the Latin word called PERSONA means mask.

Personality is the total quality of a person.

It includes ability, habits, capacity, attitude, talent......

¶ Characteristics of personality:

• No two individuals are the same

• Every individual is different in nature

• Personality is the total quality of an individual.

• Personality is making adjustments with the environment

• It is unique (Very special)

¶ Types of personality (Classification)

• The type approach

• The trait approach

• The developmental approach

• Glandular type of personality

• Sigmund Freud

1. The type approach: Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine classified people into:

• Sanguine: more blood in the body - happy , healthy..

• Phelgmatic: more mucus or phelgem - calm, quite, slow, not easily exiled.

• Choleric: more yellow bile - anger, active , short temper..

• Meloncholic: more black bile - depression, sad, miserable

2. The trait approach: Kretchmen classified human into:

• Asthenic: tall, introvert (shy), weak...

• Athletic: active, aggressive, large.

• Pyknic: extrovert (sociable)

• dysplasia: ill - balanced

3. The developmental approach: Karl Jung classified human personality into:

• Introvert

• Extrovert

4. Glandular type of personality: Bermen classified human personality into:

• Adreanel personality (energytic)

• Pituitary personality (Sexual potential?)

5. Sigmund Freud: Freud classified human personality on the basis 9f sexual development. They are:

1. Oral stage (mouth)

2. Anal stage

3. Otipal stage (attraction towards opposite)

4. Genital stage (direct sex)

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

|| Reasoning and problem solving ||

¶ Meaning: Reasoning is the highest form of thinking. It requires and needs well organised brain. This reasoning is stepwise thinking with a purpose of goal in the mind.

¶ Types of reasoning:

1. Inductive reasoning: In this type of reasoning we proceed from particular to general conclusions.

EX: Ram is mortal

2. Deductive reasoning: In this type of reasoning we proceed from particular to general.

EX: All men are mortal

¶ Steps involved in the scientific method of problem solving:

• Identification of the problem

• Statement of the problem

• Collection of relavant data

• Formulation of hypothesis

• Analysis

• Conclusion and suggestion

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galeslament · 2 years

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Cont from --> ( x ) w/ @shellofaqueen

“Being evil, and being a ‘monster’ are t-two vastly different things.” The response was immediate. Despite the stutter that always tampered with his words, there was conviction to them. Although, it wasn’t just the useless hopeful chatter that so many ‘villian rehabilitators’ had. There... wasn’t hope at all in his tone. Rather a meloncholic acceptance, dominated his words as he spoke further. Fear was something non-existant, since... Well, he didn’t have anything to fear. While he wasn’t the strongest magic wise, Gale already knew how hard he was to kill. Just because of the blood that ran through his veins.

“Your motivations, are what categorize your goals. Your no different from a predator, trying to feed the pups i-in their den. You said i-it yourself, ‘to feed my hive’. Equestria is a land of bountiful love, I-I don’t see a reason why you wouldn’t try to gain some ground in it.” It was a land that would be able to provide-- but there was no way in tartarus that anyone within the nation would lend aid to the Changelings-- so force was the only option left. Least, that’s how Gale saw it. “... I-It’s as much a land of love, as it is judgement. Once they distinquish a race as ‘Monsterious’, i-it is difficult to change that view-- near impossible.”

“So, no-- I-I don’t see you as evil. I-If I did, I’d have to call myself evil as well. Since i-it sounds like we have similar sins.” It was said with a lax smile, but his eyes had gained a bit more light to them. Both in the literal, and metaphorical sense. Yet at the same time, they still held that weight from before. Albiet lessened. “Survival i-is survival, as they say. Options are limited, when the land itself i-is unforgiving.” In more ways than one.

“... You’d do well to remember, that there are other monsters l-lurking about-- but not all are ‘evil’.” In an attempt to make an example, the faux unicorn started walking forward-- still without a shred of fear. Nor would one show up, even if she were to attack him. “Some are simply backed i-into a corner,” a blink of the eyes, and with the action came different ones. Neither pony, Changeling, or any other species capable of shapeshifting.

“-- whilst others, simply wish to help.”

#shellofaqueen #;hidingthehorror #;ponyvillepsychiatry #;(( Gale-- this is how you get bitten ))#;(( and or stabbed ))#;(( he's not the brightist flashlight in the furnace-- ))

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symphonic-scream · 3 years

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An Au Inspired by the song “Here Before” by Vashti Bunyan

Au where due to a possible break/damage in the Rabbit Miraculous during a terrible future which causes an end of the world scenario, Alix is rewinded back to her birth, forcing her to relive her life again with the knowledge of has and must never happen again.

She knows she can’t and shouldn’t mess with time, as in trying to prevent Hawkmoth- but knowing what happens at every point, she can’t help but feel the need to cryptically warn and pray that maybe there could be a slight chance “maybe this time will be different.”

But she’s tied to the future she loves, the future shes expected to turn everyone to. So she makes no moves or change anything major.

So she spends her time with Chloe as much as possible, ticking down the days before Audrey leaves and their friendship with her.

She finds herself holding Aliah’s weakening hand tighter until the day she had been dreading doesn’t squeeze back.

She watches Emilie get sicker and sicker from afar, and watches from the shadows as the number of times Gabriel leaves the house dwindle until those days stretch to weeks, then months.

And Alix just waits. Because it’s her responsibility to make sure everything goes perfectly again.

No matter how tired she is, to rewatch this all again.

And to others, she’s the same Alix they’ve always known. The sort of cool mysterious kid, highest grade in the class, seems to know everything. Who’s words eased out of her lips like tired meloncholic poetry, managing to expect everything coming, and roll with the punches.

She never seemed to have the time to do anything either, like skating, dares, or paint. Saying she had to study, had to work, had to busy herself with other things.

For Chloe, she’s always known Alix to be this way, but found that the girl became quieter and quieter over the years. The fire in her eyes and quirk in her grin dulling to barely embers.

To Aliah, she watched her daughter and saw a child with eyes that were too old for her face. Seeing the world and places like she’d been there before. Before she saw nothing at all.

To Hawkmoth, he’s confused by the fact that she didn’t even flinch when something that was supposed to devastate her didn’t make her even move an inch as her watch shattered to pieces.

To Lila she groans with frustration as this tiny girl seemed to be able to thwart every lie she spout, growing bored and sick of her.

To the heroes, they find Alix as a mysterious sign of help. Her words somehow swaying the class to not look their way.

But to Alix, she stares into a mirror with a reflection she doesn’t quite recognize.

Wondering to herself what she could’ve changed. And what she could change now.

OH MY GOD

I JUST, OH MY, THIS IS EVERYTJING I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS AHH

#submission #alix kubdel #miraculous au

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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 4 years

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Hey, so I know there's a lot of fics out there where Jask is comforting the reader. But I thought what if we had a fic where the reader and Jask are long time friends, and she meets him on the road as he's coming back from the argument looking rather meloncholic. And the reader takes it into her own hands to make sure that he is okay and cheers him up, and maybe there's a romantic moment caused by candlelight as she sings to him trying to make him laugh?

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 1,420 blaze itRating: TTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle a/n: I pity the writers who eventually handle the reuniting/apology scene because they’re going to have a thousand fic authors staring it down, comparing it to the many versions they’ve written. Here is one of the many possible versions of post-mountain Jaskier comforting for you. Hope you like it!

It took you a moment to believe that it was truly Jaskier walking down the path. The man who approached walked in a subdued, slow way and not with the rollicking gait of your bard. He didn’t gesture even once, hands at his sides as he marched. His head looked to the ground instead of the sky as usual, something that had caused him to nearly collide with countless things that you always pulled him away from just in time. If it weren’t for the brilliant red of his doublet and trousers and the fine lute at his back you might have let him pass by unnoticed.

“Jaskier! You’ve returned early!” you called, leaning out the window of the little smithy you worked at. Jaskier looked up and there was the final proof; those forget-me-not eyes.

“Y/N,” he said, walking over to you in a sort of daze. You could practically see the raincloud that followed him. Every inch of him spoke of sadness and you felt guilty for being so damned happy to see him.

“Is everything alright? Was the trip more boring than you’d expected?” you asked. He gave a rueful smile, still not fully meeting your eyes.

“Ah, no, it was certainly eventful,” he answered.

“I’m going to be done here in a moment, want to wait while I work? Maybe start crafting your song for the adventure?” you offered. He usually jumped at the chance to work there, claiming that the smithy was the perfect place to work, the clanging of the hammers providing an epic backdrop to his writing.

“I don’t want to be a bother,” he murmured. You frowned, growing more worried by the moment.

“You aren’t a bother,” you insisted, “I’d like you to stay.”

At this, he looked up, and his eyes met yours with a glimmer of hope in them. You smiled encouragingly and though he didn’t return it, he nodded and followed you over to his usual corner not far from your usual anvil. He didn’t write as you worked, he just stared out at the mountain silently. You worked as fast as you could without damaging the quality of the shield you were making and as soon as it was done you returned to Jaskier, wiping the beaded sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand.

“Alright, I’ve an idea,” you suggested, pulling his attention back to you, “I will make us a lovely little picnic and we will go to the orchard near my home and we can talk about whatever you’d like. Or I can do the talking! Either way there shall be words.”

He opened his mouth to respond and you saw the conflict in his eyes.

“I insist so you might as well just jump to the part where you agree to come,” you said, a determined glint in your eye that he knew better than to argue against. He nodded again and you parted ways, hurrying home to bathe and gather what you needed to get ready. It didn’t take you long before you’d washed, changed, and pulled together a basket filled with food and a few extra supplies you’d decided you should bring. You got to the orchard before him which gave you time to set out the blanket and the candles you’d brought to provide some light, though you made sure they weren’t close enough to any trees to cause catastrophe. By the time Jaskier arrived you were just uncorking the wine.

“Did you do this all…”

“For you?” you finished for him, “Yes, yes I did.”

“But… why?” he asked bluntly. Jaskier wasn’t one to question a good thing and your stomach twisted with worry. Whatever had happened on the mountain must have been unspeakably awful.

“Well because I… care very much for you and appreciate the time we get together,” you answered simply. Jaskier stared at you for a moment, sad eyes warring with an uncertainty that wasn’t like your usually confident bard. You patted the empty spot next to you on the blanket and he joined, resting his lute behind him on the grass. As you ate the simple but delicious meal you provided you made good on your promise to talk. You told him anecdotes of things that had happened in town since he’d been gone and you even got him to chuckle when you described an incident involving a chicken, a cow, and a gardener. You watched him begin to relax but there was still a lingering sadness that you were determined to dispel.

“Will you sing for me?” you asked, gesturing to the lute. Jaskier was always quick to comply, loving nothing more than entertaining people. But his eyes fell away from yours again as he replied.

“Ah… maybe not tonight, if that’s ok,” he replied. There was a beat of silence and then you reached for the lute yourself. You never would have dared to touch his prized possession but if this was what it took to jar him from his melancholy, it was a price you were willing to pay. You saw his eyes widen as you took it in hand, trying to remember how he held the damn thing and where to put your fingers. You cleared your throat and fixed him with a solemn look, straightening your spine in an officious way.

“Then may I present to you the Ballad of the Bard,” you said and then strummed. Well, more accurately you plunked the cords in a way that made you both wince and the hint of a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth. You had no song prepared, of course, but you were quick-witted and started singing, trusting the words and tune would come to you magically.

“There is a bard so blue of eye

That you may think that you have died

If you but glimpse its… its… cornflow’r hue

And feel his charm wash over you

His name it means buttercup

But he is no frail flower

In talents no one measures up

So great are his… song… powers…?”

Jaskier snorted, the most beautiful sound you heard followed by laughter as he waved apologetically.

“I’m so sorry, no, that’s… that’s brilliant truly, do continue,” he said through chuckles. You stood up, careful not to let the hem of your dress brush the flames that licked at them, and Jaskier gazed up at you with a familiar twinkle in his eye.

“Oh he’s a dandy fellow, yes

Always dressing to impress

But if you get a glimpse blow

The layers there is more to show….

Oh that got a bit… that got a bawdy didn’t it?” you stopped yourself, blushing a little as some of your more private thoughts about the bard slipped in.

“Some of the best songs are,” Jaskier replied, reaching up a hand to held you down. You stumbled a little, knocking him back and landing on his chest, noses bumping against each other. The soft blue eyes looked into yours and you knew he could feel the violent beating of your heart against his chest. His eyes fell to your lips and he licked his own, momentarily lost in thought. You stayed like that for a moment, afraid to move lest this moment end but equally afraid of what may happen next.

“Jaskier,” you said breathlessly, “You’re… on fire.”

“Yes,” he replied, just as breathlessly, “Yes I feel… a great burning for you…”

“No Jaskier you’re literally on fire, move!” you cried, seizing a fistful of blanket to smother the flames that began to lick at his doublet, sending bits of bread and cheese flying. Jaskier quickly shrugged out of his now charred doublet, wearing only his undershirt with his generous glimpse of chest hair and you tried not to stare as you gathered the blanket and the strewn items.

“Well adding a fire element was a new thing I must say,” Jaskier joked, “Not enough bards use fire.”

“It wasn’t intentional I assure you. And I think I’ve proven tonight that I am no bard,” you laughed.

“Oh I don’t know,” Jaskier argued, “I thought your song was very inspiring.”

You pulled the blanket together with Jaskier’s help and he threw the sack over his shoulder.

“I’ll follow you, then?” he asked, giving you a meaningful look. You knew there was still more to talk about and you wanted him to confide in you. But you also knew what that look meant.

There would be time to talk in the morning.

#miyakokurono #jaskier x reader #jaskier imagines #jaskier fluff #reader request

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visual-explorxtion · 4 years

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8 ー A short

It's 4am. The twilight hour painted the room in the shade of meloncholic purple. The radio is dead, scattered noises filling up the room. You're pacing back and fourth, retrieving the broken pieces that belonged to you, though, it doesn't matter anymore. Everything is tainted. Silence between the two of you made each second seem so unbearable. The tears burn to the brim and stream nonchalantly down your face. You've cried enough, not for yourself, but to an echo that won't reply.

He sat, on the ege of the bed, head sunk into his hands. Shaky breaths but no words. Emotionally exhausted, you've had a good run. Memories will be memories- nothing more, nothing less. You griped you suitcase, nails digging into your skin, your belongings feels heavy but all that burden feel heavier. Things would be best if you move on. One foot out the door, he catches your wrist but your eyes do not turn to look at him.

"You can tear me into pieces, but oh god, please don't break my heart in two." Leon begged.

#i'm back on my depressing shit again :D #that's what you get when you listen to too much lofi hip hop beats to chill/study to #someone stop me :'3 #leon x reader #leon s kennedy #resident evil #⭐️.doc

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nephe-le · 5 years

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Flying Soda (Midoriya Izuku x Sister!Reader)

She could remember when he was born, she could remember what he faced as he grew.

The day Izuku was formally registered as quirkless was a day she couldn’t emotionally comprehend. Midoriya (Name) was never one for power or heroes, even when her brother fantasized over his dream.

But, even someone like her could tell how heartbroken her brother was.

(Name) would feel the glances he sent her, but she wasn’t any better. She could barely say a word to him. She had a quirk, he didn’t. She wasn’t good at emotions, he was always at an high state of emotions.

So, she stayed silent.

But, she acted.

She’d use her quirk to quietly sneak some of the soda from the fridge as her mother looked away.

They both drank in silence in Izuku’s room as she showed him some of the manga she borrowed from her classmate. Powerless kids becoming the heroes of their stories.

He would always look so impressed and hopeful. He would compare the characters to people in real life.

“Sis, you’re just like those cool teachers!”

She would simply nod as he talked, but she didn’t really do much to be considered a mentor, (Name) thought.

Soon she would indulge him with more displays of telekinesis and hopes of fulfilling his dream.

Eventually, she was in her last year of middle school and her brother approached her.

“Maybe...maybe you could be a hero,” The green haired elementary student blurts out while the family was eating dinner.

“Don’t want to,” (Name) lazily replies, continuing to eat.

“But, you don’t have any plans, r-right? And, you have an well-rounded quirk, so you could definitely make it,” Izuku continues, “It would also let us work together in the future!”

To be honest, it wasn’t (Name)’s fault for being too causal when she was dismissing his pleads. It only give him more hope.

She eventually succumbed, absolutely irritated at having him always debate about why she should be a hero every single time, crying every single time when she raised her voice out of annoyance, her mother scolding her every single time.

Besides, she knew what was going on. He wanted support when he wanted to finally become hero. Have someone by his side.

Besides, she felt guilty. She had a quirk. She had more opportunities. She felt like trash just thinking about denying her brother once again. She at least had to try.

She figured she could flunk the test or transfer to the general courses by her second year. But, she dug her grave instead, by a pure display of stupidity, she succeeded, especially when her brother was always cheering her on. She could feel his expectations.

So, she became a hero.

It was on her second year of duty as an underground hero when her brother suddenly developed a quirk.

(Name) had figured her brother would find a different ambition once he saw his limit as an uncoordinated introvert, but he changed.

He worked out every single day, without giving any context.

And, he took the exam.

He used his quirk.

She confronted him.

He didn’t appear to be on anything, as she remembered rumours of the underground.

He was still her nervous younger brother.

Of course there were cases of late bloomers, as she heard about people who never realized their quirk was already in effect, such as some people with empathy or analysis based quirks being seen in the news.

He only continued to grow.

She wondered why she even became a hero in the first place.

In a way, she grew stronger since she wanted her brother to have someone achieve his dream in his name.

But, what was the point now?

It was too late for a sudden career change.

So, she continued.

Soon, her brother was working by her side as a student, he was a main player in a rescue mission.

She was worried.

He was supposed to be her nervous younger brother.

At least, Mirio was looking after him.

Eventually they located Eri.

Her brother was brave and strong.

She felt proud.

Yet anxious.

They were by themselves now.

And, she did her duty.

She protected her brother and the objective.

But, she didn’t feel fufilled.

It was a meloncholic feeling.

She could see the tears of Eri and her brother. She could hear his calls.

But, she felt irritated once more.

She remembered always having to share her games with Izuku.

Always having to bring him everywhere.

The constant feeling of inadequacy whenever she thought about wasting her quirk. The unfairness of their lives.

She thought about his hopeful smile.

Not caring about the blood she was loosing, she gripped her brother’s costume with red hands, as she let out tears of frustration.

“I...I never wanted to be a hero, damnit...!”

He was wearing the same expression from more than a decade ago.

(Unedited)

#boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #midoriya izuku #deku #midoriya izuku x sister reader #boku no hero academia x sister reader #mirio togata #eri

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rye-ci · 4 years

Text

~ "Aramaic Nights"

Scr: 21.03.20

Cap: 19.12.18

Like pebbles

it sinks deeper

in the shinmering

of upended oceans.

The time ceases

when the palms

glance over

the burst of

emotions.

It calls

to go astray

on the shores

made of stardust,

only to wash

the affection

away in the notes

of a meloncholic

aramaic verse.

#poetry #love #poetrycommunity #writersoftumblr #poem #poet #poems #poetsoftumblr #quotes #writer #art #writing #wordporn #thoughts #photograph #life #writerscommunity #poetryoftumblr #words #poetrylovers #poesia #music #photography #stories #poetryporn #artist #spilledink

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musingforever · 4 years

Text

I'm currently reading All the bright places and my mind was just stuck on the part where Decca is cutting out all the bad words out of the books (so that they don't creep up on her as they mix with the good ones) and Finch also joins her. He then continues even on his own, categorizing everything, even single words, which to him are sad or painful; including the word Sunday.

But that's the beauty of it: those words are hurtful only because they do not link him to a joyful place or memory. It's only during our darkest times that we realize that the previous ones had been favorable, auspicious. We may not have been exactly happy, but when beaten down by the world, even those "normal days" feel like merry times of a distant past.

Without all the sad, depressed, sorrowful, dejected, miserable, wretched, meloncholic words sneaking up on us, how will we learn to hunt for, to pinpoint, to embrace the happy, ecstatic, merry, exuberant, blissful, thrilled, euphoric words?

#my words #my writing #my thoughts #my wriitng #my passion #all the bright places #jennifer niven #finch #finchley #theodore finch #violet and finch #writing #writers on tumblr #writers #writeaway #written #musingforever

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morethanithoughtofficialblog · 4 years

Text

Chapter 14: Isn’t that punderful?

In which puns and feelings hit you like a brick.

*Your POV*

Something that still surprises me is the simplicity that the Underground people had in their daily lives. It was like living in a small town, where everyone knew everybody. Kids would go walking from their home to school and return safely, never fearing to be attacked by anyone. Because they knew them perfectly, and they knew them as well.

I've been learning that recently, hearing Asgore's stories. And thanks to all those generations and all those hidden memories, we could finally create one of the projects I was more eager to make: the Underground history book.

I must say that I had a lot of support on this project by a lot of people, either monsters or humans. Gaster provided me his scientific researches, Alphys and (surprisingly) Sans did as well. The three of them had an important role in the lab, but Gaster was the main Royal Scientist. Still, they all contributed with some information, making me understand the concept of souls and magic better.

Toriel got to meet and protect the eight humans that fell into the Underground, and that was really useful to establish how The Barrier was broken and why it was needed to be that way.

And well, every civilian helped me to know a general idea of how the Underground was: awful but full of hopeful people.

The most interesting part, or should I say person, it's Gerson: monster-turtle that has been living for a ton of years, and that was an important warrior in the war. He was alive before Asgore was even born! And so I spent some good hours talking to him...

"What... what was the name of your King when the war happened?"

"Reynor. Reynor Dreemurr, the great-grandfather of Fluffybuns"

"Fluffybuns?"

"Oh, hahaha! I mean Asgore, it's just a silly nickname I gave him! Don't mind this old man, hahaha!"

I smiled remembering that talk we had, being full of charm and comedy (from Gerson's part, of course. I'm no good at jokes). Monsters normally have the same age structure as humans do (years have 365 days usually, they turn one year older after that specific amount of days, etc.). That means that one human year is equal to one monster year: there's no difference at all.

And just like turtles, Gerson has lived a lot of years. According to his exceptional memory (that surprises me a lot, mine being not able to remember what I ate yesterday), the war happened three hundred and twenty-one years ago, and it ended three hundred and nineteen years ago. He was just a young warrior when that happened, he being in his mid-twenties (just as I am right now, yay! ...I need to concentrate).

Reyson Dreemurr lived a ton of years as well and married at a very old age. That explains mostly why there hasn't been a lot of Dreemurr generations after the war. The interesting fact, though, is that the eight human children fell into the Underground during Asgore's commandment, none of them before him.

"Those eight buckos, including the Prince Chara, fell into the Underground probably because the legends were starting to fade, young lady"

"So you are insinuating that people took the story as a joke, especially the kids?"

"Yep, like a bedtime story... just like us, isn't that right? Hahaha!"

Gerson was right: monsters were almost recently taken as fantastic creatures, as myths, and nonexistent. In all honesty, I considered them that as well. But if I was living in Ebott City since I was a kid, maybe it would have been different.

...

Maybe.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I was on the Prince Chara's place... and no, I don't mean in his current place, but to actually have Toriel and Asgore as parents and have a goat brother. I wonder how it could have been to go to school with the young monsters I know, or if I would ever babysit Papyrus and help him with homework. It...

It sounds like a good life, honestly.

Way better than mine, at least.

But I realize that, even if that would have happened, life wouldn't be full of roses and glitter (that idea doesn't sound appetizing either). And I know it's rude to talk like this, but Sans's case is a pure proof of what I'm trying to imply. But maybe there was something in his life that made him different...

After all, he has PTSD.

God, I sound like a jerk.

I mean, I have PTSD as well, so... there's no difference between his case and mine. The only important thing is that his painful past happened in the Underground, the "simple town" I was describing so cheerily five seconds ago. My painful past happened in the Surface, the place all of them cherished for years.

So even if we can go on and live in Perfection Land, our lives will never be perfect. Mine, for example, was shitty and uninteresting before they came. And I only have a general perspective of their lives, but I don't know them deeply...

And we return to why monsters are so similar to us: because they have a story behind that smile. And not all people will know that story. And that includes me.

Depression is an easy topic to talk about if you find a person with the same thing. However, the reasons behind it it's the difficult part since that's what actually shows your vulnerability. So yeah, when you already have it diagnosed it's easy to tell others "Hey, I have depression!", but to tell them why or when it started it's technically telling them your story.

And when you can't tell your story and neither can cry about it, then what's the matter in feeling like not saying it? Just scream that you have depression and, well, the rest will come later...

You: Hi Sans!

Sans: hello kid

Sans: how ya been?

You: Good good, how are you feeling?

Sans: eh, i guess i'm fine

Sans: not that i'm depressed or anything

Heh.

There's no difference between his case and mine.

You: Yeah, I know how it feels

Sans: to be depressed all the time?

You: Sans

You: I'm even depressed right now

Sans: huh

Sans: then u need someone raisin your spirits often?

And he just sent an image of a raisin.

Great.

You: Sans, you are awful

Sans: hey, whaddya mean?

Sans: i put my heart in it

You: Well

You: Thanks to you, I have no raisin to continue living

You: You jerk

Sans: oh my god, i'm sorry

Sans: i never meant to make your pain more...

Sans: unpearable

You: Nah, don't sweat it

You: My life was already a peach of shit

I laughed way too hard when I saw Sans calling me after that lame pun. It took me a while before gaining my breath and finally accepting his offer.

"Hello?" I asked in a fancy tone, like if I didn't know who was calling.

"hello, ma'am. may i have a word with you before i can let you live your slow death in peace?" he replied with the same fancy tone I used, and I instantly burst out in laughter, he following me immediately.

"Sans, why are you calling me?"

"to congratulate ya. you have my respects now"

"What are you even talking about?!"

"not everyone can joke about wanting to die, ya know" he let out a laugh, then continued "and less using puns"

Well, he's right, I guess.

"Sans, just end the call already"

"ok"

He just remained silent, but the call still continued. I stared at the phone with a silly smile on my face, then I groaned silently. I heard him chuckling at my reaction, then he said he will never hang up, which was bullshit since he hung up five seconds after saying that.

Sans: are u there?

You: No.

Sans: rude

Sans: i just wanted to say hi

You: That's the biggest lie I've heard in a while

Sans: what?

Sans: can't a skeleton cover his crippling depression?

You: Oh c' mon

You: Don't go all meloncholic over me

Sans: wow, another food pun?

Sans: please berry me alive before the world ends

You: Do you know what food I would be if I got to choose?

Sans: ?

You: A donut, 'cause I'm empty inside

Sans: same

Sans: i donut see the point in living anymore

Is it necessary to say I was having the time of my life? You can't tell depression jokes to everyone and having a partner to do so felt amazing. Medicine and therapy? More like jokes and puns!

Sans: do you want a tip to deal with depression?

You: I hear you

Sans: drink coffee

You: really?

Sans: yeah

Sans: expresso expresso, no more depresso!

And you bet I laughed, mostly because I drink coffee every day. Maybe I should start ordering expresso though.

You: Oh my God

You: PEMDAS

Sans: pemdas?

You: Please End My Depression And Suffering

And Sans called me again, only to hear him dying of laughter. We ended up telling more jokes all over the phone instead of chatting, him not caring about his brother hearing. Then we both went to tell darker jokes and really cruel stuff that a depressed person would joke about... just like us.

So I really don't understand why I take my problem as something humerus, but if one thing I've learned through all these years dealing with the same things is that crying is horribly useless. And people say that laughter is the best medicine, so I'm technically helping myself and, of course, Sans.

But hey, life hasn't been that bad lately. I was admitted to have a job interview (which I'll have tomorrow) in that small company, and I have more reasons to wake up and do things of my own. And I've been trying to put myself into drinking pills again, even if I don't like the fact that my mood depends on some medicines.

Talking about medicines...

"Hey Sans, do you have the pills you need already?"

"eh..." Oh he doesn't "crap, i forgot to go to the drug store yesterday"

Knew it.

"Well, I can gift you some if you want to. I have some spare pills here in my drawer, and I think I have the same medicaments the doctor prescribed you"

"that would be nice, but are you sure you want to bother yourself? besides, they are not that cheap, kid..." he had this slight hint of doubt in his voice, which made me smile gently.

"Eh, consider it as a present" I simply answered while I shrugged, even if he couldn't see me doing so.

"kid, if i'm gonna take the pills, then..." he made a long pause, then he sighed sadly "can you promise me something?"

Promise?

"It... depends"

"kid, you need to take care of yourself as well" he startled me a bit, and he somehow noticed how taken aback I was "if it wasn't for papyrus, i would probably have killed myself by now. so i just want to tell ya that you don't have to deal with this alone. it must suck being alone with the crap of your head all the time. so whenever you want to talk about, well, anything... you have me here, kid. and paps is more than open to help as well"

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

...

Shit.

"Hey, thank you. It means a lot to me"

"no probllama"

Seriously-

"An animal pun? Really?" I stopped right there, then I smiled "You've cat to be kitten me"

"i'm sorry, i didn't do it on porpoise"

"That's the sealiest joke I've ever heard"

"i never asked you to let minnow what you think"

"You're giraffing me crazy"

"nah, you're lion"

And so all seriousness disappeared and the puns were all over our conversation. I'm not that good on them, but Sans is clearly experienced with them. I'm better telling jokes of dark humor than silly animal puns. Still, I tried to keep 'em going.

"oh, by the way, papyrus says hi"

"Tell him I say hi as well"

"shore thing, (y/n)"

"I sea what you did there"

And after a few minutes, the call ended, me remembering that I had to give Sans the pills before the day was over. Or well, Papyrus remembering me all over the phone, screaming to his brother to go to the drug store before he dragged him himself (savage).

I took a skele-ton of pills and put them in my laptop's briefcase (since I'm too poor to buy a Gucci bag), then I ran to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror. Decent hair, no rests of make-up... perfect. I dragged a pink hoodie (because why not) that said: "Yes, I'm CUTE: Cringy Ugly Terrible Empty", some simple black shoes and I left my apartment behind... not before going back to grab my almost forgotten briefcase.

I took the subway and put my headphones on, forgetting the rest of the world while I heard some Nirvana music. Yep, this is who I've become: a young adult that takes the train every single day of her life and puts on music all the trip, trying to dismiss my problems.

What a good life.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Arial's POV*

I heard some lively and deep laughter coming from Sans's room, my older child. I wanted to go on and check on him, but... does he really wants me there with him? I haven't been the best mother for my two children, especially for him, so... I let it be.

Sighing desperately, I went over the kitchen to see if I could do something, anything, with my time. I wasn't at home often in the Underground, so cooking isn't my strength. But if I really want to become a normal mother for them, then I had to start making dinner. I sighed again, knowing this was never the life I wanted out in the Surface.

I know this is really selfish to say, but I genuinely preferred my life down there. I was part of the Royal Guard (as a secretary mostly) and one of the most important roles in the Kingdom. I'll always let the King now if there was any problem at the schools, or if there was any planning of a protest. On weekends, my husband and I would sometimes have fun like our teenager times, or I would casually (and awkwardly when Sans grew older) visit the kids.

...it would be pretty stupid for me not to know what I did wrong. Sans trusted us, and he once felt happy when he was around us. But we treated them as only a partial company, and now he's angry and almost mad. Now he doesn't trust us anymore, and Papyrus is trying. We were never parents to our smaller child... but to Sans, we once were. And that's why he's the most hurt.

I first became a mother when I was sixteen years old and Gaster eighteen. It's unnecessary to say it was an accident, but I was too scared to try this method called "abortion", which was recently adopted in the Underground at that time. Gaster was afraid that our new son could ruin our professional lives, but he recognized himself that the abortion wasn't secure. And so I gave birth to Sans, which I don't know if it was the best for him. I haven't given him the life he deserves, and I deeply regret being too young and too stupid to not understand how beautiful the role of a mother can be. I've seen how Toriel treated her boys and how now she treats her girl, and I can't help but admire her for being brave enough to sacrifice everything she dreamed of and decided to make THEIR dreams come true.

But instead, I choose to make my ideal life come true. Because I never wanted any children... not until Papyrus, I guess. That was seven years after being responsible for Sans, just when I told myself I should be a better mother, and so I felt forced to have another one to take care of.

I, however... never got to be the responsible mom I wanted to be deep inside of me. And so Sans had another problem: taking care of his little brother...

There...

There was even some time that I COMPLETELY forgot about their existence...

I just remember that, after realizing I had children, Sans started to hate me. He was overprotective (and he still is) over Papyrus, and whenever I tried to make him understand, he would say "you should not waste your words into lies".

Can...

Can I have a chance to be a good mother, even if now my grown son is twenty-two years old?

I...

Before breaking down in tears in the kitchen, I heard Papyrus running unheavenly fast through the door, then I heard a familiar feminine voice. That voice was not more and not less than the one of our dear ambassador, (Y/N) (L/N). She greeted him as kind as she's ever been, and he exclaimed happily how honored he was to have her in our home. She laughed politely, then Sans teleported to the living room, talking in an enthusiastic tone I haven't heard from him in years. I should have felt good, but it wasn't for me who he was happy for. It was her.

I...

I mean, she could get his trust faster than I'll ever be capable of.

I...

I don't know what to think.

She waved at me discretely with a lovely smile, and I felt more like crying. She's young and making her dreams come true because she was smart enough. She planned her future perfectly, and here she is: healthy, a bright future reflected in her eyes, and a beautiful heart and energy that both the kids admire.

I saw how (Y/N) gave Sans some... medicaments, I think, and he thanked her with a smile he never gave me. They joked a bit and Papyrus groaned playfully, then all of them went into a fit full of laughter.

"OH (Y/N)! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ENJOYS YOUR COMPANY A LOT! AND I BET SANS DOES AS WELL! WE'RE TRULY HONORED TO HAVE YOU HERE, YOUNG LADY!"

Yes, he's a wonderful child, but I can't be proud of him.

Because I didn't raise him...

Sans did.

#sans x reader #sansxreader #more than i thought fanfiction #more than i thought #chapter 14 #sans #x reader #undertale

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