#mention of Saeran Choi

[elvendara]

AU-gust day 21

21 Aug 23 Coaches

“Hi, are you MC?” Yoosung asked. He wrung his hands nervously.

“Yoosung?” she asked.

He nodded his blond head and sat down. There was a cup of coffee in front of her and a plate with a slice of banana bread.

“So, what exactly are you looking for in a life coach? You’re still so young.” She said as she stirred sugar into her coffee.

“Looking at it from the outside my life seems great, on a rising trajectory, but, I feel like I’m falling and just grasping at straws that break as soon as I close around them. I don’t even know if what I’m striving for is what I want, and what I want I don’t know how to get.”

“Explain.”

Before saying anything, the waitress brought his order and set it in front of him. He thanked her and turned back towards the brunette.

“Well, I wanted to be a vet because of my cousin, but I realized I don’t really want to and I was just doing it for her. I feel guilty though. I’ve wasted my parent’s money and…”

“I see. Why would you go into something you weren’t interested in?”

“I really looked up to my cousin. She taught me a lot about self-sacrifice and empathy. Her dog became sick and the vet recommended he be put down as the only merciful thing to do. I hated him because he made her cry. She refused to listen and took the dog home where he lived in pain and suffering for another few months before he finally died. I realized the vet was right eventually. It would have been more merciful. But then, Rika always thought more about what she wanted than what was good for anyone else. I realized that too. I was wrong about her. Her kindness was nothing more than narcissistic attempts to have accolades heaped on her. Everything she did was for selfish reasons.

“Unfortunately, it took me too long to figure it out and now I feel stuck.”

“Sounds awful, I’m sorry you went through such a difficult realization. So, if you don’t really want to continue with your veterinary studies, what do you want?”

“That’s what I need you for! I have NO idea who I am really. I followed Rika around like a lovesick puppy and did what she told me to do. When I try to think about what it is that I want or like, there’s just…nothing.” He shook his head in dismay.

“I see, well, I guess I can work with that. But you also said that you wanted help in getting what you actually want?”

“Ah, yes…as to that…I’m talking about my love life…or more like…lack of it.”

“I can do a lot of things, but I’m not a matchmaker.” MC shook her head in regret. “Love isn’t something that can be manufactured or manipulated. You can manifest all you want, but it takes two…as they say.” She shrugged.

“Yes, yes, I understand. I just need…well…advice on how to talk to…someone…” his face was flushed.

“Oh, I see. Ok, tell me about her.” She leaned in, curious and ready to take notes.

“Him actually.” Yoosung said, his face lighting up. “He’s amazing! Smart and sweet, well, sweet when you get past his gruff and crusty exterior.” He laughed, MC joined, getting caught up in his giddiness.

“He has this gorgeous, thick red hair, beautiful mint green eyes, slim, athletic build. He loves to read, speaks I don’t know how many languages, gardens and can talk your ear off about flowers and plants. I literally have no idea what he’s saying most of the time, but I could listen to him all day.” He stopped when he realized he was gushing.

“He does sound amazing. So, what’s the problem?” MC sat back and watched the blond.

Yoosung ducked his head and sighed. “I…I don’t know if he likes me that way. I mean, sometimes it feels like he does, but…” he shrugged. “He could do so much better than me. I’m a mess and not that smart. I don’t care about plants, and I only know two languages. The only books I read are manga and fan fiction of LOLOL. I don’t think I’m a good match for him.” He shrugged and looked incredibly dejected.

MC leaned over the table again, “Listen, we can work on you. Figure out who you are before tackling your love life. But honestly Yoosung, people don’t ever stop growing, changing, but I think we can get you on your feet enough that you can continue the journey on your own. Let’s work together.”

“Really? I’d like that. I really feel silly getting a life coach for this, but I just don’t know where to start.”

“I just want to make it clear that I will not be telling you what to do or how to think. I will however, help you in figuring those things out for yourself. You will be the driving force, so don’t feel like you have to give me answers you think I want to hear. This journey is about you!” she held out her hand and he shook it, gratefully.

“Thank you. I’m excited to find out about me. The real me!” he said.

“Me too!”

#au gust #au gust 2023 #day 21 #coaches #Yoosung Kim #MC #mention of Saeran Choi #mysme #mystic messenger #this is not good at all so I apologize #I just wanted to get something in today since I've been missing so many days #I just haven't been very inspired by the prompts #my fault #not very motivated #old news of course #not that anyone is going to read it anyway

[lesmeow]

hi guys! its my annual mystic messenger phase again but i can only draw girls whoops

#please don’t mention the shoes I did not want to draw shoes guys #just doodles!!!! just littol guys #mysme #mystic messenger #mysme 707 #mysme saeran #mysme yoosung #yoosung kim #saeyoung Choi #saeran Choi #mystic messenger 707 #anyways im in a doodly mood :)

[password-door-lock]

My current daydream scenario of choice is video calling with SE Saeran.

It starts because he’s not allowed to leave the bunker. Saeyoung gives him a phone, of course, and his own room, and all manner of basic necessities, but still— Saeran feels trapped. Granted, he’s been trapped all his life, so this is nothing new, but unlike before, he has nothing to focus on anymore. He has nothing to strive for, nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and idly scroll. Saeyoung installs a video call feature on the messenger app almost as soon as Saeran starts using his phone, largely because he gets nervous whenever he leaves Saeran alone in the bunker. It helps his nerves if he can see with his own eyes that Saeran is physically safe, although, as the weeks pass by, Saeyoung’s anxious video calls become less and less frequent. 

You, however, start calling more often. Saeran doesn’t talk to anybody very much, but out of the RFA members, he’s probably the closest with you. That’s mostly because you don’t seem to pity him the way the others do, nor do you seem inclined to bother him by being loud when he needs silence or quiet when he needs a distraction. The first time you call him, you’re at the store picking up groceries to bring to the bunker. You flip the camera around to show Saeran rows and rows of cereal and ask him which one he wants— it’s a small gesture, in the scheme of things, but it shows him that you respect and value his autonomy. He can still remember your words at Magenta all those months ago, when you earnestly told him that it was his decision whether to trust his brother or not. It wasn’t, of course, but still— you’re the only one who seems to be thinking about letting Saeran make his own choices. 

It all sort of spirals out from there. Soon, you start video calling Saeran just to talk to him— but it doesn’t seem like you’re checking in on him, trying to prove that he’s okay just for your own peace of mind. Instead, it feels like you actually want to tell him things. Occasionally, you’ll show him what you’re doing or what you’re seeing in the world outside of the bunker— especially clouds, and though your phone camera doesn’t pick them up too well, Saeran appreciates the sentiment. There’s so much in the world that he’s never seen before and wouldn’t even think to ask about, so it’s nice that you’re willing to introduce him to these things without too much fanfare. If you like to go on walks, you can bring your phone with you, and though he may not be the most talkative walking companion, he enjoys the peaceful escape from the life that he lives inside the bunker. 

Sometimes, you video call Saeran while you’re working— depending on what your life looks like, this might mean you set up your phone so that he can see you while you’re quietly studying, or maybe that you call him while you’re busy with your hobbies. Hell, maybe you hide your phone somewhere out of your boss’s view and engage in a completely silent call with Saeran from your desk at the office. It’s not that the two of you spend all day every day together or anything like that— Saeran likes his alone time, after all.  It’s just that he also likes having your presence nearby, even if you’re not able to be physically close to him. 

Other times, you call him in the evening when you’re home alone. The two of you might talk for a while about what’s been going on in your lives— although, Saeran isn’t really the type to vent out loud, and sometimes, if something’s really bothering him, he ends up texting you about it while the call is still going on. Usually, though, these nights end with both of you laying in your respective beds. Saeran really likes falling asleep with his phone propped up on a pillow while on a call with you, although usually he’s the one that watches you falling asleep first. Although it doesn’t make his nightmares go away completely, he finds that it does help a lot to fall asleep feeling safe. Sometimes, though, he ends the call as soon as you’ve fallen asleep—  he feels comfortable with you, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to wake up to the tell-tale signs of one of his nightmares. 

Even once it’s deemed relatively safe for Saeran to leave the bunker, Saeyoung is still a little bit paranoid about Saeran getting in trouble for driving without a valid license, and if you don’t drive, either, then the two of you may not get to meet in person as often as you’d like. Sometimes, Saeran is too overwhelmed to make the journey out to your apartment, even though he’d like to see you, and a lot of the time, the feeling is mutual. When one or the other of you has bad days, sometimes meeting up in person is just not possible, but it’s nice to be able to see one another face-to-face even under those circumstances.

#I know I've mentioned this before but #it's one of my favorite concepts to think about #Because I feel like hanging out with SE Saeran is going to involve a lot of being quiet together and parallel play #And also just a lot of frustration #Since the circumstances are probably not how either of you would really want them to be #anyway #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #saeran choi #choi saeran

[marshmallowprotection]

Whenever I have a massive panic attack out of the blue, the only thing I can think about with my life by Saeran's side is how fast he'd pick up on the signs, likely far faster than I'd be able to since I hardly notice I'm lost until I feel the sensation and creeping dread, and a thought like that cools me down when I'm at my wit's ends. It's such a small thing but the perspective helps.

His gentle hands fast as a lightning bolt to keep me from trying to make sure I haven't lost feeling in different spots forever, a calm voice whispering in my ear to remind me to pace my breathing when it feels like my air isn't coming in fast enough, and a rumble of his heartbeat to bring me back down just as soon as the tunnel vision fades away. It's the thought of his gentleness in the name of the worst terror someone could ever feel without a rhyme or reason to explain why.

It's the thought of knowing that he wouldn't move from that very spot until I was able to properly communicate what was happening to me and what I needed him to do for me, if at all. It's knowing that he would understand more than anybody else what to do and after a lifetime of people not understanding and not bothering to learn how to do the right thing even if they're close to me, the thought is an immense comfort.

Saeran very well knows what it feels like to be overcome with something that you can't control. He spent so many nights in a lonely room working himself into a frenzy until he felt like he was going to be sick. He... didn't have anybody back then to be there for him the way he needed. He didn't have anybody to explain what was happening whenever he woke up with terror.

Does anybody ever wonder if he thought that was just a normal experience? What is that like for him when he discovers that it's not normal for him to feel miserable? Sure, he knows that he doesn't have to feel angry all the time, but does he know that he shouldn't feel constant dread or paranoia all the time?

Does he know what it means to have a panic attack? Does he know what it means to have anxiety?

He knows the feelings as they are shown time and time again as his thoughts and experiences, but did anybody teach him the words?

I think about it, sometimes. I think about how Saeran wasn't able to know there was a word for what he was experiencing with his mind until he escaped from Mint Eye. There's a lot of things he doesn't know about the world, but one thing is for certain, I can imagine the unadulterated relief that he must feel on the inside to be validated. For him to be told that what he's experiencing has a name, and there are things he can do to make it better, by his side, I think I would weep with him.

Being able to have language like that is undescribable. Some people may not understand how crucial it is for some people to have the language to communicate what they're going through, but when you are somebody like Saeran who has been constantly robbed of his autonomy, him being able to describe what he's going through and what he needs is a godsend. It may take him a while to learn what he wants or needs when he's struggling, but having the ability to communicate it at all is the important part.

Sometimes, all you want is for somebody to substantiate your feelings. You just want somebody to say that your feelings are valid and that what you're experiencing is real. No derailments. No cover-ups. You want to be told that what you're feeling is real and it's going to be okay. You don't want anybody to tell you that what you're feeling is fake and that you need to get over yourself. Saeran is the kind of person who would understand what you're feeling and want to do right by you, no matter what you need.

Why? I think that's simple, it's because you're always there for him and you want to do right by him. You helped him realize that he wants to help people as much as he wants to help himself, and you are the most important one he wants to cherish. There's something Beautiful about being able to gently coax each other through a panic attack. There is something about being in perfect Harmony and understanding what your partner needs, and even if it's not perfect, the fact that you try is what matters.

That's all it takes to feel like the storm will die before it becomes consuming to cry over and there will be no goddamn victory run for the terror that isn't welcome to stay in my head.

"My love, I understand that you may not be able to think clearly right now, but I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I will stay right here by your side as long as you need me. If you want me to leave, I'll leave until you need me to come back. But I want you to know that no matter what, I've got you. My heart will protect you from any fear you have. I've got you and I'll never let go. I've got you. I've got you, I promise."

#tw panic attack #tw panic mention #mod kait #choi saeran #saeran choi #saeray #ge saeran #mystic messenger #mysme #mysticmessenger #character analysis

[rfaromance]

Saeran had spent most of his life avoiding his reflection.

His mother had never kept mirrors around for them, aside from a small one she reserved for herself in her bedroom when she tried to primp herself up to go out in public, lest people know she was exhausted, hungover, and had creases and fatigue on her body from harboring two children in her basement.

He only caught glimpses of his reflection in dirty windows and broken bottles of booze, and he could only recall golden eyes that were dull like hay instead of shiny like coins, as well as thick tangles of crimson curls that were wild like a forest fire instead of smooth and shiny like velvet.

He tried to imagine that he looked more like his brother, but Saeyoung seemed to glow in a way that Saeran never could. Saeyoung's skin had a faint honey-tinted hue, kissed by the sun, bringing his freckles into full view. When he held Saeran's hand, Saeran had always noticed how his skin was far more pallid in comparison. Saeyoung had a strength and sturdiness in the way he walked and moved, even though his eyes were as sunken and his hair as messy as Saeran's.

Weak. Useless. Sickly.

Their mother insisted that Saeran never should have existed, that he was a burden and a scourge upon the earth. She hated him; he knew that, no matter how much Saeyoung insisted she was spouting nonsense and lies in her drunken rage.

He came to hate himself, too.

His life at Mint Eye had not been much better in that respect. He spent most of his time in front of the mirror fussing, doing his best to eradicate any traces of the child he loathed. Bleaching all traces of pigment from his hair, combing it until it was flat and applying any amount of spray or gel he could to hopefully kill his curls for good. His eyes no longer were gold but instead had taken on the minty hue of strength, or so he had been told. A sign of dedication, of growth, of change, of being on the path to revenge and then his happily ever after.

But he still saw someone weak, fragile, and pitiful, in the vibrant magenta coat that his "Savior" had thrust upon him, so big that it swallowed his slender frame and accentuated how ghastly pale his skin was. He looked like a child pretending to be a man.

Maybe, in a sense, he was still that child until he'd taken his first breath of freedom and his first step of his own accord, of his own free will.

He was free. He was safe. He was a new person, but he was the sum of every person and every action and every memory he had of the past. Saeran struggled to even let that name roll off his lips, from time to time. It tickled his tongue. It was his name from birth, but it was a new name. The weight it carried intimidated him, from time to time.

His heart was light and his shackles were left in the dust, but liberty had a heaviness that he could not always comprehend. It would catch him by surprise, more often than not.

Tonight was one of those times, as he sat draped in the blankets on his bed--no, their bed--as the weight of anticipation, anxiety, and apprehension tugged on his soul.

His freedom belonged not only to him, but to her as well. His true salvation. An actual angel, like the ones Saeyoung told him about. Someone who had shown him what love and light and life were all about, and someone who had stuck to his side through every trial that faced them. She was the reason he could stare at the sunrise every day and inhale the fresh morning air, without worrying if each day would be his or his brother's last.

But she had never seen him like this. Facing the horrors of the world was one matter, when she felt she had full confidence in Saeran and who she believed him to be. If she saw the feeble person underneath, the ugly, weak, scrawny that had been cursed by his mother and Rika and Saeran himself, constantly trying to turn into someone else, anyone else--

Would she be disenchanted?

He didn't have time to ponder these thoughts anymore as she entered the room, for the mere sight of her took his breath away. Hair down, framing her face. A sheer black nightgown that hugged her curves in the right places and also fluttered freely with her movements in others, turning her into an ethereal shadow, more like a fairy traveling on the wind than a human taking steps.

When she finally planted herself onto the mattress, crawling forward on her knees, Saeran could feel his resolve begin to slip. He did his best to sit upright, but when he felt the cool air tickle his ribcage he couldn't help but shiver. Shyly he grabbed at the sheets and tried to pull them up to hide his face, not wanting her to see just how quickly his face had flushed redder than the roses in their garden. He had been eating and drinking better than he ever had done in his life, but he was undeniably thin. He didn't have muscle tone. He was soft but not squishy, just thin paper-white skin. He still couldn't overexert himself, because his lungs and heart had never been strong, even if he had gotten tougher with age. His bones were his only saving grace, but even then, he could only attribute their tenacity to the ungodly amounts of ice cream he consumed, providing calcium that he'd desperately needed. What would happen when he turned around and she saw the scars on his back, from beatings? What would happen if she saw bruises that had never fully healed? How about the tight grip of chains that had never entirely left his ankles?

Would she find him weak and resent him, like everyone else?

His eyes flitted to the side, not wanting to meet her curious gaze. She was leaning forward slightly, glossy lips slightly agape as she looked over him. She did not make a peep, just turned her beautiful eyes that even glittered in the half-light of the bedroom, onto him.

Out of morbid curiosity, he allowed his gaze to travel back, and he had no doubt that his face was on fire with embarrassment and his riling nerves. Maybe they would at least accentuate his freckles that had begun to appear from spending more days outside.

"...ran."

Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"You..."

If he could face his demons, then he could face the love of his life. He gazed into her eyes, hoping his trepidation wouldn't disgust her, on top of everything else.

"You are so beautiful," she breathed at last. "You are... so beautiful, Saeran."

His breath hitched in his throat.

The trembling hand that he had drawn into his chest was slowly pried away from him, and he couldn't keep it from shaking as she gingerly cupped it in between her hands, planting a gentle kiss onto the back. "You're stunning," she whispered, letting the words slip out as she unfurled his fingers and began to kiss his calloused fingertips one by one. "Strong. Hardy. Kind. Resilient. Warm." Praises upon praises spilled from her lips, and he was absolutely speechless.

Finally she raised his hand to the side of her face, and he caressed her cheek timidly, still trying to steady his quivering. "I love you, so much."

Saeran's vocal cords still would not cooperate him, as his swirling thoughts and adrenaline-pumped body had rendered him mute. But he could drop the blankets and scoot closer to her, to let her know he felt the same. I love you, his mind screamed. I love you more than the clouds, more than the sky, more than the sea. He used his other hand to pick up one of hers, now, and place it on his chest, where his pounding heart was threatening to burst out of his ribcage. He had no doubt she could feel its powerful beats that spoke on his behalf. This heart beats for you. Her eyes grew wide as she felt the erratic thumping against her palm, but she did not pull away. She just turned a somewhat amused gaze onto him, her lips curled into a serene and knowing smile. I live, I laugh, and I love, because of you.

Suddenly she pulled her hand away, and she pulled his hand away from her cheek and rested it on top of her shoulder. He could feel the thin strap of her nightgown beneath his fingertips, and it wasn't until she guided him to slowly slip it off her shoulder did he realize what she was trying to say.

Perhaps her boldness was what provided the spark in his own body to be able to finally utter, "I love you--"

But she cut him off before he could finish, pressing forward to push her lips against his, swallowing his words and his breaths. She pressed another hand against his shoulder to support her, keep her upright as she melted into the kiss. His lips were probably chapped, and possibly even cold and clammy.

But her touch and her love and her closeness warmed him up immediately, and he stopped trembling enough to wrap one arm around her waist and slide his other hand beneath the hem of her skirt to rest beneath her bottom, and he pulled her closer than she already was.

Sometimes words failed, but actions could convey so much more.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

(inspired by the gorgeous art by @amagicalduckling !)

#saeran choi #saeran x mc #mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #fem!mc #is this nsft? #tw abuse mention

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

Warning: implied/referenced stalking

‘You’re wonderful. Flawless, even.’

‘Mmm, flawless is pushing it.’ 

Her blush wasn’t very noticeable, a light pinkish tint on her warm brown skin, barely illuminated in the garden’s dim lighting. But Ray saw everything. Every little detail, every slight reaction; his senses were keenly honed in on every manner of her presence. He had no doubt his face looked a little flushed too but that was alright. After all, why hide it? She already knew how his heart raced for her.

‘Is it?’

‘I’m not as perfect as you think, Ray. No one is.’

‘Well, you are to me.’

‘Ahh…’ she made a flustered sound and covered her face with her hands. Ray smiled, willing her to move them. Show me your face, he thought, and as if hearing his silent plea, she parted her small hands like curtains, peeking up at him through delicate fingers.

‘You know exactly what to say to flatter someone, huh?’ 

He gave a quiet little chuckle. ‘Oh, I don’t know… I suppose it just comes easily to me when it’s you.’ He took her hands, gently peeling them away from her face and watching how her eyes widened slightly at the gesture. ‘Every moment I spend near you, I just can’t help but be aware of every single thing I like about you. Complimenting you feels like the most natural thing in the world.’ 

She flushed far more visibly at that. Ray laughed softly once more, his hands gently squeezing hers, preventing her from hiding behind them. Oh, how he delighted in those flaring cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to cup her face and gaze into those eyes, stroking her soft skin with his thumbs and muttering endless sweet praise to see just how red she would go. And he would mean every word. 

‘Um, th-thank you… I like you a lot too, Ray. Just- um- you haven’t known me for very long-’

I’ve known you for so much longer than you think… He wouldn’t dare utter such a thought out loud, however. Ray didn’t know how she would take it. She couldn’t know how many months he’d spent watching, waiting. Yearning. Would she be upset if she knew? Scared, even? Of course, he’d only ever done so with good intentions but what if she didn’t like it? What would she think of him? Would she call him a creep? Would she think him crazy if she knew exactly to what lengths he would go to keep her safe and in the palm of his hands? Would she try to run away? No, he couldn’t take that chance. He didn’t even want to even think about it.

‘I’m sure there’ll be all kinds of things you don’t like about me, to be honest. I don’t understand why you already seemed to like me so much so soon after meeting me for the first time...’

The girl’s words made him frown a little. Did she doubt his sincerity? Worse still, was it possible she was suspicious of him…?

She seemed to pick up on his concern, as she brought his hands to her chest and looked up at him, meeting his eyes with a shy but undeniably warm and reassuring smile, before she continued to speak.

‘What I mean is, I want to spend more time together, Ray. I want you to get to know me properly and I really want to know you. If you still like me so much after that… well, then we can keep going from there.’ There was still a faint blush over her features as she smiled up at him. The crinkles beneath her twinkling eyes made him think of the gentle creases and overlapping folds of petals around the stem of a rose. 

Ray wasn’t entirely sure he understood what she meant, but she’d said she liked him and that she wanted to spend more time with him, so, that was what mattered most, right?

‘I… like the sound of that. And Princess, I don’t think you could do anything at all to make me dislike you. I would do anything for you, MC.’

#I cringed so hard writing this but I couldn't get the scenario out of my head #this is mirae btw! he still calls her mc at this point bc she hasn't told him her real name (mc is the nickname and username she uses) #obv he does know her name. this is ray we're talking about. but she doesn't know he knows lol #amee writes #mystic messenger #mysme #mysmes #mirae chon oc #my oc #mysme ray #saeran choi #saeran x cmc #saeran x oc #cw implied stalking #cw mentions of stalking

[anas-tasiaa]

Saeyoung: *Made a proper plan sneaking out from the agency for a while, rushing to get back to Korea, risking his life just to give a Christmas present for Saeran through V*

Meanwhile V and Rika:

I still didn't forgive them for that yet, you know.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #Jihyun kim #Rika #like how could you??????? #at least just give it to Saeran and don't mention Saeyoung?? #imagine the effort #care and love #that Saeyoung put to prepare for Saeran's gift???? #to only be discard right away through them???? #he risked his life for that gift you two shameless buffoon #🤡🤡🤡 #Well I don't hate V much but really #this scene made me furious

[natasha-in-space]

Hi, hope you are doing well! What are your headcanons of the Choi twins with an s/o who is struggling with the death of a family member?

TW: mention of death

Saeyoung

Saeyoung was always the caretaker between him and his brother. Making sure that Saeran is safe and sound was practically his purpose for as long as he can remember. He can understand the feeling of despair and helplessness that comes with finding out that you can't do anything to help your loved one.

It's... devastating to go through.

He could have sworn his heart broke into a million pieces for you the minute that he found out about your loss. He might panic a little bit at first, but that's only because he's so scared he might say or do something wrong when you're this vulnerable and in desperate need of comfort. He doesn't want you to feel like you're alone during this difficult time of your life.

Everyone deals with grief differently, and it's important to respect that and let the person live through their loss at their own pace. Saeyoung might do his own research to make sure that he doesn't do anything wrong on accident. He's terrified of letting you down like that.

He won't force you to talk about it if you don't want to. And if you do want someone to hear you out, he'll listen quietly and hold your hand as you let everything out through frustrated tears burning through your eyelids. Whatever you may need - he'll do it. It hurts him to see you in so much pain... but he knows that there's nothing he can do to rid you of this grief, no matter how much he wants to. He just needs to be there for you while you grieve at your own pace. And he'll do just that, no matter what.

Saeyoung will make sure that you're never alone. If you do want some personal space, he won't try and go against your wishes, but otherwise, he'll be right by your side almost throughout every minute of your day. He's as caring and gentle as can be, always reminding you that he's there if you need him and immediately pulling you into his arms whenever you sit down next to him. He can't help it. He wants to bring at least some sort of comfort to you, and touch is the only thing that comes to mind.

For Saeyoung, physical touch is his primary way of showing his support.

He'll hold you tight as you break down into tears, rubbing soothing circles into your back and whispering gentle words of comfort into your hair. And if you're so exhausted from all the tears that you can no longer stand, he'll gently drop down onto the floor with you still in his arms, making sure that you're not hurt, but still holding onto you tightly. He'll never judge you for crying and he will never let you go.

Saeyoung is not good with words, but he tries his best. Nevertheless, he doesn't need to talk most of the times, all of his emotions are written crystal clear in his eyes. You know that he cares, and there's no need for him to say it out loud.

He takes a break from his job at the toy shop to provide you with his full support the first few weeks. He's not a good cook, but he tries his best to learn for you. He even asks Saeran to teach him some recipes while you're sound asleep in your bed. You two always eat together, and it becomes a habit for him to feed you every once in a while. If you don't have the appetite, he won't scold you. Instead, he'll gently coax you into eating at least a few bites, before praising you and letting you rest once more with a single warm kiss on the lips.

"Cry as long as you need, Y/N. Please, don't keep all this pain inside your heart. It's okay, I'm here. I'll always be here." He'll murmur softly against your skin as he kisses your forehead with such tenderness in his movements, it's like he's afraid that he might break you if he moves too fast. His own eyes are brimming with tears as he cups your cheek into the palm of his hand. "I know that there's nothing I can say that would take all of your pain away... So, just remember that you are not alone in this. Please, never forget that. I'll be here though out it all. I promise, my lovely sunshine."

Saeran

Saeran was never really allowed to grieve the death of his mother properly. He feels so incredibly complicated and lost when it comes to her up to this day, and sometimes, these feelings of his get so overwhelming that he has to step away to regain his breath. He doesn't want to talk about it at first, because he feels like there's something inherently wrong with what he feels on the matter.

Is he supposed to feel angry? Upset? Hurt? Is it normal to miss her when she treated him so horribly? Saeyoung doesn't seem to feel the same way... then is it bad that he feels this way?

He's scared of finding out the answers to these questions.

He can see that you're hurting - you're hurting so incredibly deeply - but he feels so lost on what he should say to make you feel better at first. Should he even say anything to begin with? Or is it better of he keeps quiet? He wants to do anything to take that pain away from you, but the bitter truth is that he simply can't. It takes him a while to come to terms with that. Seeing you so distraught brings tears to his eyes, which is why he'll almost always cry with you. He can't help but remember his own hurt that he never got to process fully, making this process that much more personal for him.

Of course, that's something that he'll work on in therapy soon after. Maybe, he'll bring up the idea of going to therapy together, if you feel comfortable with that. Saeran will be right by your side throughout every step of the way, through both good days and the bad. The most important thing for him is to make sure that you know that he'll never judge you for anything. At first, he'll take on all of the house chores onto himself, letting you know that all you need to do is rest and not rush yourself. Though, after some time has passed, he'll make sure that you won't stay inside all the time. Even if it's only for a few minutes at the time, he'll make it a routine to bring you out onto the front porch and let you breathe in some fresh air every once in a while.

He won't rush you.

Saeran is a highly empathetic person, so a lot of the times, you don't even have to say that something is wrong, he just knows it. He's hesitant to touch you at first, too scared of messing up and doing something wrong, but once you lean into him, he'll hold you tight until the very end. It's messy and it's not pretty. Both of your faces are red and puffy by the time you stop crying, but that's okay. You are not alone in this.

By the time you feel like all of your tears have long subsided, Saeran will make sure that you're all taken care of. He'll offer you some tissues with a tired and yet oh, such a tender smile adorning his face as he leaves one soft kiss on the damp skin of your cheek. He helps you get yourself all cleaned up and runs a warm bubbly bath for you soon after. Whether you want to share it or not is all up to you. The most important thing for him is to let you know that he's ready to do whatever you need him to do for you.

"I know you're hurt... I'm so sorry that you have to go through something so painful, my love. It must be so, so hard for you right now..." Saeran sniffles softly, wiping at his own damp eyes as he slowly pulls away from you only to rest his forehead against your own, letting his hand run through your disheveled hair as gently as he possible can. "Let me share your pain, Y/N. Whatever you may need, I'll do it. I'm always right here for you if you need me... If you want to cry, we can cry together. If you want to scream, let me be the listener to what your heart longs to rid of. And... if you just want someone to hold you close... know that I'll always be here, holding you, just like I do now. I love you."

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #mystic messenger headcanons #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #mm saeyoung #mm saeran #saeyoung x reader #saeran x reader #tw death mention #i hope this brings you comfort anon #i know it hurts #grief is one of the hardest things to go through #but know that they love you and they'll be there for you for as long as you need them to be #stay safe

[adoranoia]

CHARACTER SHEET ―FULL NAME. saeran choi NICKNAME. saesae, rannie, both childhood nicknames from saeyoung. hated them during his time time at mint eye, but is starting to warm up to them again. ALIASES.‏ ray, unknown (alt names), believer no. k006 (cult title)‏‎ PRONOUNS. he/they HEIGHT.‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎6'3" / 190.50 cm AGE. 23~ (internationally) 24~ (korean) ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ZODIAC. gemini (western), metal dragon (chinese) ‎‏‏‎ ‎ SPOKEN LANGUAGES. fluent in korean, english, with intermediate know‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ -ledge of japanese. fluent in multiple coding languages too, if that counts.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ― HAIR.‎‏‏‎ originally orange-ish red, his hair turned pink-ish white due to the trauma of the cleansing ritual. has a slight curl to it, always messy and unruly, unbrushed.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ FACIAL HAIR. clean shaven, can't grow it worth a damn, honestly.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ EYES. originally a light brown/golden, his eyes turned a bright minty blue due to the elixir he was often forced to take to keep him compliant. usually half-lidded, glaring. has white eyelashes.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ SKIN TONE. a cold, sickly pale, covered in lots of freckles. bruises easily BODY TYPE. ‎‏‏‎ectomorph, very thin and lanky, you can easily count most of his ribs, but he fills out post-game, especially due to his indulgence of his sweet tooth. VOICE. a ‎medium deepness, not quite as nasally or as saeyoung, and more flat/less animated in general, but can be a bit whiny when irritated.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ DOMINANT HAND. left-handed.ㅤ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ POSTURE. ‎slouches a lot, unless purposefully trying to be threatening/scary, then he'll stand up at his full height, using it to his advantage. usually stood with his arms crossed, or other -wise closed off in some way, shifts on his feet absentmindedly.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ SCARS. ‎‏‏multiple, a mix from childhood, and from mint eye--most notably, rope burn from being tied up often, on both his wrists and ankles. whip scars across his back. little cuts on his hands, from gardening with roses and other thorny flowers. a large burn scar, taking up the right half of his face, neck + shoulder. MOST NOTABLE FEATURES. has a tattoo on his left upper arm, with symbols important to mint eye. eventually gets it covered up, though. short, chewed nails. ‏‏‎ ‏‏ 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 ―

PLACE OF BIRTH. xxxx, korea ㅤ HOMETOWN. xxxx, korea ㅤ ‎ SIBLINGS. saeyoung choi, twin brother, saeyoung is older by five or so minutes, and hasn't ever let the other forget it.‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ PARENTS. ‎saejoong choi, his father, the current prime minster of korea who denies the twin's existence due to being 'illegitimate'. and, his mother, ho-sook choi, an abusive alcoholic who blackmails money out of him. they're both terrible.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎

𝐀𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ― OCCUPATION. ‎is a hacker for mint eye, a cult/religious organization, sometimes does field or undercover work, but his real talent lies in securing digital data. ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ CURRENT RESIDENCE. xxxx, korea ㅤ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ CLOSE FRIENDS. ‎‏‏‎rika/the savior, the other believers--or, post-game, the RFA, (seven, yoosung, zen, jumin, jaehee, etc), and the now ex-agent vanderwood.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ FINANCIAL STATUS. ‏‏‎well-off, not as rich as say, jumin, but he's got money.‏‏‎ ‎ DRIVER'S LICENSE. yes. ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ CRIMINAL RECORD. oh god, how much time do you have?--thank -fully, nothing he's ever been actually caught or prosecuted for, though. and anyway, he'd just wipe his record clean with his hacking skills, so. ‎‏‏‎ ‎ VICES. the elixir is a drug mix that's addicting, causing him withdrawal symptoms and cravings during his recovery, along with a habit of lying, defensiveness, etc.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎ 𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ―SEXUAL ORIENTATION. bisexual, no preference. ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. ‎‏‏‎switch. ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive.‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ TURN OFFS. ‎super sensitive people, people ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ that smoke or drink excessively around him.‏ TURN ON'S. ‎understanding/supportive people, intensity and passion‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ LOVE LANGUAGE. ‎‏‏‎affirming words, acts of service‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. he tends to avoid them due to be -ing involved with mint eye, and then afterwards out of fear of being 'too messed up' to love or be loved, but craves it badly. not that he'd ever admit it without some serious prodding, though. tends to be clingy and affectionate, and pouts a little when without attention.‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒 ― CHARACTER'S THEME TUNE. mysterious clues/endless struggle/i am the strongest (main in-game themes) custer by slipknot (ringtone), closer by nine inch nails, rule #4 by fish in a birdcage, christmas kids by roar (misc songs)‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ HOBBIES TO PASS THE TIME. programming, gar‏‏‎den -ing, cooking/baking, journaling‎, playing violin/piano ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. ‎‏‏‎right-brained. ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ SELF-CONFIDENCE LEVEL. low. like, so low. hates himself, and mostly assumes others are going to as well, due to his childhood, and treatment at mint eye. but, he's starting to get a little better, due to therapy sessions he's begun taking post-game. however, it's still a bit touch and go, though.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

#* && OOC #* && SAERAN CHOI : DEVOUT / FOLLOWER . #* && PROMPTS #my fave prompt everyone............ lmao anyway do u care him. bc i do so much. choi twins my beloveds #abuse tw #drug mention tw

[elvendara]

MYSME FICTOBER DAY 2

@mysme-fictober

Michael's Edition

2 October 2023—TOAD

“Shut up!” Yoosung threw his pillow towards the window knowing full well it did no good.

“Wha…what’s wrong?” Saeran turned towards his boyfriend in groggy confusion.

“That stupid toad!” Yoosung ran his fingers aggressively through his blond hair, resisting desperately his desire to yank his golden strands in frustration. “It’s been a week! I can’t get any sleep!” he swung his feet off the bed and stomped towards the window, throwing it open. The sound was louder and harsher.

Saeran sighed and left the warm and comfort of the bed as well. He yawned and stretched as he walked towards the younger man, setting his hand on his shoulder. “Come back to bed.” He whispered and kissed his neck.

“How can you sleep with this racket?”

“Just ignore it.”

“Ignore it? How? I’m going to find you, you little shit! And I’m going to squish you!” he yelled out of the window.

The toad croaked loudly as if calling his bluff. In fact, a cacofally exploded, as if it called in its friends to serenade the irritated blond. Saeran couldn’t help it and he let out a laugh.

“E tu Brute?” Yoosung scowled as he turned towards the red-head.

“I’m sorry, but that sounded planned! And I just got an image in my head of a toad in the center of other toads as they discussed how to annoy you the most.” He couldn’t stop laughing.

“I hate you.” Yoosung snarled as he grabbed his pillow and a blanket.

“Where are you going?” Saeran asked, closing the window and curtains tight.

“In the living room! Maybe I won’t be able to hear them in there. Good night!”

“Come on babe! Just put some music on, or your earplugs. Don’t leave me in this cold bed alone!” he pleaded.

Yoosung just waved at him as he walked out the bedroom door.

“Damn it!” Saeran frowned, glaring at the window as the chorus of toads continued their midnight concert.

In his bedroom, Saeyoung, Saeran’s twin and all around prankster, slept soundly, a soft smile on his face as he dreamed about the tiny speakers he’d set up outside of Saeran and Yoosung’s bedroom after Yoosung had complained about a single night of a toad keeping him awake.

#mysme-fictober #mysme fictober #mystic messenger #day 2 #Toad #Yooran #Yoosung Kim #Saeran Choi #mention of Saeyoung Choi #mysme #Halloween #Michael's prompt list

[pastelsapphy]

bitch you're LITERALLY the reason he tries to kill himself. you're why he believed his only option was to die with Mint Eye

#listen. rika is a complicated character but she also angers me greatly #mystic messenger #rika kim #saeran choi #kim rika #rika mysme #rika mystic messenger #choi saeran #saeran mysme #saeran mystic messenger #ray choi #choi ray #ray mysme #ray mystic messenger #mysme #luc rambles #luc plays another story #suicide mention tw

[asterjennifer]

ovulating rn and it HURTS SO BAD. maybe ge saeran comforting us abt it BC I FEEL LIKE AN OLD LADY CLUTCHING HER PURSE EXCEPT ITS NOT A PURSE ITS MY LOWER ABDOMEN

🎀 Oh no! I'm sorry you're in pain, Sunshine.. I suppose you need it quickly! So let's do a short but sweet one to ease the pain a bit 🎀

Saeran comes to learn about these types of things thanks to you. He never got taught about the functions of a woman's body until he met you. So that's kinda new for him, he probably didn't even plan you could've gotten your period at the time he brought you to Mint Eye. Saeran probably came to realize along the way..

So if you're lying in bed.. both hands pressed to your stomach with the mood deeper than the cellar of Magenta, he's very worried at first something had happened to you. But if you tell him about it, something like »It's fine, just fucking ovulating.« He's probably bewildered and maybe has to ask what that even means. Once you explained it, his bright eyes would widen. »Oh!« One one hand, he's embarrassed for not knowing. On the other, however, he's glad he knows now..

He'll make you a hot water bottle because that seemed to help the last time you were in pain. Saeran will make the bed as comfortable as he can, he'll even snatch the pillows from his brother if you want to live inside a nest for the next few days.

»What would you like to eat?« He'll ask, leaving all the choice to you and make dinner himself. If you ask him for some sweets or snacks, he makes sure to get them. Another blanket? No problem. You need painkillers for the pain? He got your back. You need a cuddle partner? Saeran's staying in bed with you as long as you want him to!

He'll be irritated he can't make the pain go away completely at first, but he'll hold you close... He tugs you under the blankets with him and makes sure your head is comfortable on his chest. Right above his heart, he wants you to hear how much he loves you. How much you mean to him.

»I'm sure it sucks, I never had to deal with that so I'm lucky. But I'm here for you... If I fall asleep and you need something, don't be scared to wake me up, okay? I love you, Angel. I want to do everything I can to make it better.«

I'll pray the pain soon goes away and you're back to your feet again, dearest. Get yourself some rest in the meantime <3 🎀

#mystic messenger #mm #saeran #saeran choi #mystic messenger saeran #unrelated #au #ff #one shot #saeran route #saeran ae #mm saeran #ge saeran #good ending saeran #good ending #after ending #fluff #comfort #period mention #annon #ask

[password-door-lock]

“I don’t want to be away from you,” you sob, tensing under Saeran’s gentle touch as he reaches out to rub your arm. 

“You won’t be,” he assures you, voice thickening with emotion even as he does his best to maintain a calm tone. “Not really.” 

He pulls you close. You’re turned away from him, which is strange— normally, he’s the little spoon. That only makes you feel guilty, of course— Saeran came here to rescue you because you were lured into a trap, and now, here he is, chained to the wall, laying on the floor, and inexplicably comforting you. “Please think again,” you urge, trying to twist around and look at Saeran. “There has to be another way. I’ll come back for you, I promise. I’m— I’m not leaving you.” But even as you say it, you know exactly what his response is going to be. As devastated as you are, your judgment isn’t clouded enough to convince you that Saeran is going to change his mind. He's already made his decision, after all.

“You won’t have time,” Saeran reminds you. He plants a soft kiss behind your ear. “You and Saeyoung have to finish this. I’m less important.” It hurts your heart to think that he actually believes that— in your opinion, Saeran’s safety is more of a priority than the security of a thousand worlds or whatever justice might be done against a million exploitative agencies and a billion corrupt Prime Ministers. 

“I’m not leaving you,” you repeat, perhaps a bit petulantly. It feels wrong to just go along with what he’s telling you, regardless of the stakes. 

“No,” Saeran agrees, “Of course not. Your heart will always be with me. And mine will stay with you, too, hm? Even if I’m not here, you’ll always be able to hold onto my love deep inside. That’s my promise to you, my love. Whenever you need me, I’ll always be there.” 

You grab his hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. You still refuse to believe that you’re actually leaving Saeran— of course, you’ll go along with his plan until you know for sure that Saeyoung is safe. You know that Vanderwood will probably need help getting Saeyoung out of here in his condition, and Saeran is absolutely correct that Rika’s plans will all fall through if she isn’t able to produce both twins. But that doesn’t mean that you have any serious intention of leaving Saeran in this place. Though you lack the information and the mental clarity to make any kind of concrete plan, you can be certain that this will not be the last day that you spend with him. “I love you,” you breathe. 

“Mmm,” Saeran hums. “I love you, too. I’ll always love you, my MC. My angel, my miracle. Even if our bodies won’t be together in the same place, and even if I never get to hear your voice again, I’ll stay with you all the time. Even if my existence ends… I’ll be by your side until the end of the world.” 

You sniffle. He’s wrong. He has to be wrong— you will do everything in your power to see to it that his existence does not end, that you and he stay physically together for as long as the universe will allow it. You refuse to let some selfish couple, a team of phony hackers, and a disgraced politician tear you and Saeran apart. But either way, you need him to know that you love him just as much as he loves you. “But even when the world ends, we’ll still be together in our hearts,” you promise, “I’ll keep holding onto you as long as I can, and then after that, as long as I exist, as long as I have thoughts in my head, I’ll be loving you. No matter what happens, no matter what those bastards take from us, they won’t ever be able to stop us from loving each other, you know? When the world ends and there’s nothing left but empty space, when we go back to the stars that we came from, the space dust that is me will still try its best to drift beside the space dust that is you. I mean it, Saeran. I’m not giving up on you.” You’re beginning to ramble a bit now, but hopefully you got your message across. 

“I don’t think the world is ending any time soon,” Saeran replies, “You’ll get to live a long life full of fun experiences— you won't be giving up on me if you let yourself have fun. I’ll be happy knowing you got to live on ordinary life, free from all the trouble that I've caused you. But I’ll look forward to living in the stars together, my love. You can tell me all about everything that happened since the last time that we met.”

“Saeran, baby,” you address him over your shoulder, “I will never, ever make you wait that long.” You refuse to allow the universe to separate you from this man.

He laughs, squeezes your hand and pulls you impossibly close. “I want to savor this moment with you. I’ll cherish it in my mind for as long as I can.” You can hear the tears in his voice, the passion with which he says those words. You can feel his love in the way he holds you, in the tender feeling of his skin against your own.

“We’ll make new memories,” you assure him, “Better ones, where we’re safe and free— even as space dust.” But as you said— you will never, ever make him wait that long. 

#tw: death mention #Sappy/romantic/emotional stuff like this is normally kind of out of my comfort zone #And I'm aware that I just posted 2 days ago #But I'm kind of going through it and missing Saeran so here we are #mystic messenger #mystic messenger drabble #choi saeran #saeran choi

[marshmallowprotection]

TW! I committed an act of self harm for the first time last night since around middle school, I’m not proud of myself. It was triggered by school stress, I forgot how bad I get mentally when it comes to academics. I try so hard to prove myself as a burnt out gifted kid with ADHD, you know? I’m tired of being seen as lazy, or bad at everything. Can I get some SE comfort? We owe you lots Kait 🩷

TW: Self-Harm Mention

SE Saeran is the last person to ever misunderstand what you're going through.

He knows what it feels like to drag yourself to the brink of exhaustion because you're trying to prove yourself to the people around you. He understands how devastating it can feel to look somebody in the eyes and have them say that you're not doing enough, when you are quite frankly, doing everything you can at that specific moment in time to complete things.

You can't make everybody happy, which he learned the hard way because no matter how much he tried to please Rika, he never did. She kept him working non-stop while holding a carrot on a string and there was no way for him to reach the carrot. If you think he's going to misunderstand what it feels like to be overwhelmed by the fact that you can't make the people around you happy with anything you do, think again. 

You're not lazy and you don't have to work yourself into the ground to be able to prove that to anybody. All you have to do is put your best foot forward and do what you can with what you have. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be number one all the time. You don't have to be at the top of the class.

You're allowed to take it easy and go at your own pace. Falling under your expectations doesn't mean you're a failure, if anything, you should take it as a lesson to study harder in the future, but not to work yourself into the ground over it.

If you want to do better, it's one thing to study more, but it's another thing to beat yourself up. 

Saeran wouldn't want you to do that to yourself.

He does that enough to himself all the time. Even though he is mostly apathetic to the world around him due to how overwhelmed he got in the end, he still experiences a great amount of empathy and most of it is directed towards you because you have shown him a world of kindness he still isn't sure he deserves. Your kindness to him shows that you are a good person no matter what you do, and even if you fail to reach the height you set for yourself, he'll be standing there waiting to catch you.

You always do that for him, so why wouldn't he do it for you? Even if he has no idea what he's doing, you've done so much for him that it's only fair he tries to do whatever he can for you. Sure, does that look like him dragging you out of the house to lay under a shady tree for the afternoon so you don't have to think about anything?

Yeah.

That's how he handles a lot of stress in his life. Running away from it won't make it better, but taking a break from everything that makes you feel like your head is going to explode will make a difference. It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud but it helps. At least, the act of taking a breather helps him. It might help you, who knows? It's always worth a shot. Taking the time to breathe and collect yourself before you do anything gives you time to find an answer and process what brought the pain in the first place.

Take it from Saeran, if you stew in those feelings forever, it will do nothing but bring you agony.

So, as you lay outside underneath the sky he loves so much, expect to feel his hand on top of yours as neither one of you says anything. He isn't much of a talker and you never ask him to push himself outside of his comfort bubble. He doesn't need to say much, if at all, because you know he's the kind of person who communicates what he's feeling through the way he looks at you and how willingly he lets you get close to him when nobody else could ever get that close.

If you take his hand, he'll give it a gentle squeeze. If you roll over into his side so you can close your eyes and stop thinking about anything but the way is chest rises and falls with every breath, he won't stop you, either. 

"Listen... don't let the desire to be the best destroy you, okay? You're already the best you that you can be... because for whatever reason, you decided I was worth the trouble... anyone who does that should be given sainthood by the church my brother loves so much. Now, let go... close your eyes... and just... breathe with me, okay?"

#tw self harm #tw self half mention #tw sh #mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #saeran choi #mysme #choi saeran #mm #mysticmessenger #se saeran #drabble

[teenyweenyeenymeeny]

for the diaper ask game, can I request Saeran/Ray with 1 and 3?

yes you can!!!

content warning: Saeran and Rika have negative attitudes about accidents. Also, cult mention.

1 - Why do they wear diapers? (comfort? necessity?)

Necessity! I will not Recount their entire route but. If you have not played it / mystic messenger in general: they are part of a cult and are poisoned pretty regularly with an “elixir” neways. One symptom of long term poisoning I am pretty sure is urinary incontinence! And I think they [especially Ray] deal with that. Also, they get terrible nightmares that cause them to wet the bed.

3 - How do they feel about wearing diapers? (shy? angry? chill?)

Ray likes them! He’s shy to admit to a new person that he needs them and anxious that it will make that person stop liking him, but if they react well to that it makes him happy!! And he doesn’t mind talking about it [although… if he Did mind he would talk about it despite his discomfort because he wouldn’t want to disappoint the other person…]

Saeran on the other hand is Not happy with them and refuses to wear them. And it doesn’t work out too badly when he’s awake!! Because he is very meticulous about planning bathroom breaks for himself. Ray isn’t as good at that, which is just another thing Saeran judges him for :( often when they switch, Saeran finds a diaper on their body which he Immediately takes off and if it’s used, he’s especially irritable for the rest of the day. When Saeran is asleep is really the only time he should Definitely consider wearing a diaper because he can’t plan around nightmares. When he was still with Mint Eye, Rika would be the one to find him after a nightmare and she was… not nice to him. She would tell him that she was worried he was getting weak and that accidents were something she expected of Ray, but her expectations for Saeran were higher. Then, she’d wait until he was finished cleaning up all on his own before giving him more of the elixir and claiming that her behaviour was coming from a place of love. Needless to say, wetting the bed has always been an Especially painful experience for Saeran, so when it happens while he’s living with Saeyoung he’s much more upset about it than Saeyoung would have expected but he stays with him. When Saeran lets himself regress and depend on his big brother again, nightmares become a Definite trigger For his regression and after a nightmare is the only time Saeran will let Saeyoung change him into a diaper without any complaint.

#I will say!! I am not plural so if I have said anything Strange relating to their system it is unintentional!! #please feel free to correct me! especially if you Are a system #ALSO I do think I should put content warnings for Saeran’s and Rika’s attitudes toward accidents but I don’t know what tags to use!! #so once again. if you know Please tell me 🤍 #cult mention #cw cult mention #tw cult mention #cw cult #tw cult #🍦 #🌹 #ask #📝 #ageredips #mystic messenger agere #little ray #regressed ray #little saeran choi #regressed saeran choi #fandom agere #fandom ageredips #agere #sfw agere #age regression headcanons #ageredips headcanons

[garbageforyou]

Cherry Pop-Tarts

Me to SE Saeran: Lookie! *shows a Frosted Cherry Poptart* This is you.

Saeran: If this is one of you and Saeyoung’s game, I’m not playing

Me: No, this is you because it's pink and red and super sweet. It makes me think of you, especially now that you’ve got red hair again and you always look so lovely in pink.

Saeran: *blushes* Oh….well….You’re weird.

Me: I know. *happily shares a poptart with Saeran*

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger saeran #606blurbs #been thinking about red head Saeran #also I had a yummy cherry pop tart and it was so pretty pink and red #I just wanted to share it with one of the Choi boys #food mention #tw food