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2jcore · 3 months

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hwanghon brew director's cut

hello everyone first of all, please bear with me this is the first time i've tried using tumblr and i honestly don't know my way around it yet. With that being said, please allow me to give you the director's cut of Hwanghon Brew i promised 2 years ago lmao TT

So, for starters, hwanghon brew was commissioned by my good friend ate cams (who was absolutely patient with me. love u ate cams mwa)

These were the things requested:

heejayke poly

established heejay

modern vampires

college/frat au

5+1

heejayke feeding on each other

THE PLAYLIST

I was given the freedom to do whatever, come up with whatever plot that ties these things together, so I did! The first thing that came to mind of course, was the vibe I wanted to go for. So i immediately looked up a modern vampire playlist to set the mood, and stumbled upon this playlist. which is honestly so fitting because 1) the cover is a screenshot from the given-taken japanese mv, and 2) the person who made it seems to be an engene seeing that the first song in the playlist is drunk-dazed.

Anyway, Supermassive Black Hole by Muse became the first song that I associated to Hwangwon. It was like, idk the theme song while i was writing it? In fact, the whole black market scene during the intro was written to supermassive black hole. I didn't really make a moodboard for HB and instead created a playlist and relied on getting the vibe from that instead.

if i were to describe the songs that i picked out for hwanghon, it would be dark and somewhat eerie. most of them were rock/alt, (Test Me - Xdinary Heroes, One in a Billion - Enhypen, Tonight is the Night I Die - Palaye Royal)

some were also alternative/indie like Teeth - 5SOS, cult leader - king mala, and Blood // Water - grandson.

I played this playlist 24/7 while writing the fic NO JOKE LIKE ESPECIALLY IN THE SHOWER even though some of the songs creeped me out T^T bc honest to god some of them lowkey sounded demonic but it is what it is. So, I listened to these vampy songs while trying to come up with the main theme of the fic.

If you watched the video teasers I posted on my twitter, you'd know that I strongly associated Xdinary Heroes songs to HB, especially during the scenes where they're playing tag and running around the city, especially Test Me.

Hold Me Tight, and Tunnel by KimYeji were for the more somber parts like Jake's inner monologues about fitting in, heejay talking about the coven and jake, and especially the scene were Jay runs to Jake in the bathroom and relives Heeseung's near death.

And while I do associate their running scenes with xdinary heroes, BONBON GiRL by SARM is an honorable mention. To me this is a bouncier song for the times they're leaping from one rooftop to another, just having fun while Seoul's citylights shine below them. When I play this song, Hwanghon Brew suddenly turns into this cyberpunk vampire anime in my mind.

Some special mentions that I really enjoyed listening to and helped me brainstorm for scenes are: Real Boy - Lola Blanc, Verbatim - Mother Mother, and Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High - Artic Monkeys.

OUTLINING

As some of my readers might know, my first step when writing a fic is to make an outline. My first thought was to think about the characters. With heejay being established, it only made sense for me to make them members of the frat/coven. With that thought in mind, I wondered how to write Jake into their lives. And thought, hmm, what if he moved to Seoul for college and stumbles upon one of the coven members? Let's make him a newly turned vampire from the country side.

(jake bagong salta to coven = jake new to the coven)

So i was trying to come up with the main theme of the fic and initially came up with this:

I was just thinking that jake was just, idk, desperately trying to fit in even though he was already part of the coven, and heejay could teach him how to be a vampire and their feelings could develop through that. Of course, this idea changed as the outline became more fleshed out.

After establishing the basics of the character backgrounds, my next step was to outline the plot itself. I divided the plot into the 5+1 structure, and brainstormed for a main event/scene per number.

this is the unedited original outline LMAOO which obviously was changed as I went along with writing it. I wasn't given an exact word count and was just told to write whatever I wanted (thank you sm ate cams 🥺) and honestly i went into this thinking that i'd be done by 10k HAHAHAHA BOY WAS I WRONG. then again, i shouldn't really be surprised because i have the habit of going over my target word count. In fact my bestie Erina (who helped me brainrot a lot during the writing process (luv u bubbie hwanghon brew will forever be your inaanak) was like. bubbie. how could you even think you'd be done by 10k LMAOO)

anyways, let's unpack this original outline. the [ 5 - hoon supposed to take him to hwanghon but can't ] made it to the fic since Sunghoon really asked Jay to take Jake to hwanghon. [ 4 - heeseung arc, bonding over ramyeon ] was only partially kept. Instead of the 4th part being about jake feeling hesitant, it becomes heejake growing closer through their convo while having ramyeon, and jake trying to get closer to jay by using the honey cookies. So i guess you can say that food holds importance in this part.

the third part where jake underestimates his appetite and heejay come to the rescue is kept, but added to it are heejake and heejay scenes, the latter giving more insight to the jayke aspect of things

The 2nd one. So my thought process here is: the initiation is successful. However, throughout and after this, heejay become more and more possessive over jake without them actually noticing and without them realizing why. So, the members intervene by acting all flirty with jake until heejay finally acknowledge their feelings, and this leads to the jealousy jealousy part in number 1. and somehow the tension just builds up until they all just erupt and make out, which would lead to them feeding on each other.

as you can see, khan's appearance in the fic was not part of the original outline. and that definitely changes a lot of things.

for the first few parts of the fic, i outlined the turn of events and crossed them out once i finished writing that sequence. my original outline somehow ends here? IDK how i outlined the rest of the fic LMAO IT WAS A FEVER DREAM. ANYWAY.

THE BLACKMARKET

i wanted to start the fic with a banger. literally. so, what better way to do it than to bombard countryboy Jake with the grim reality of the city, right?

After listening to Supermassive Black Hole, this black market scene immediately played in my mind and set the tone for the rest of the fic. It came to me quickly--the image of Jake stumbling upon a black market swaying, dizzy as hell, his vision splitting and all these neon signs swirling around him. for me, the song cemented the over all night life/cyberpunk vibe that I was going for.

At first, I was thinking that it's Jay who finds Jake in that market. Like the thought of spotting Jay amidst the blur of people was so appealing to me (especially as your resident jayker). But I figured that it would be better for Sunghoon to find him first, because not only does this create a foundation for jakehoon's friendship, but also sets the stage for a better meeting between jake and heejay.

Right off the bat I wanted this scene to be as descriptive as possible, so that I could immediately give the readers a good feel of the universe and the dark tone of the fic. Hence why I enumerated every single thing from a man trying to sell Jake drugs,

“Hyungnim,” A man suddenly slings his arm around his shoulders. “You looking for a good time?” “N-no,” He answers meekly, pushing away the man who had a couple of tattoos dotting the left side of his face, his leather jacket reeking of alcohol and some kind of earthy, herby scent.

(that's why he smelled earthy - y'know...marijuana) to prostitutes trying to beckon him over

“Hey, are you lost?” Two girls call out to him in coy voices, breaking out into giggles and taking drags of the cigarettes pinned between their long manicured nails.

Anyway, while i was writing this, i was constantly seeking opinions from my close friends (love u erina i could not have written most of this without you) and recieved good feedback about the intro, so i think it was pretty effective.

SUNGHOON

(this is the hoon in my head!! ugh so hot fr fr imagine him just walking along seoul at night jumping from one roof to another)

like I said, since i made Sunghoon the character who finds Jake, I wanted him to make a strong impression, which is why he is how he is--practically dragging Jake to the cafe, ordering for him, talking on and on even though Jake wasn't responding LMAO like Sunghoon didn't really care TT

I also wanted him to have #humor which is why he's so damn sarcastic all the time "don't worry i don't bite" SAYS THIS WITH HIS CHEST WHILE BEING A WHOLE VAMPIRE LIKE FUCK OFFF "no humans were harmed in the process" he's so??!?! anyway, it was super fun writing him, he's easily one of my favorite sunghoons in all the fics i've written.

though it looks like him being a lovesick fool is a common thing among my fics and i don't regret this one bit. It's so funny writing Sunghoon pining over Sunoo when the latter doesn't even give him his time of the day (not true, actually he's just equally enamored)

While it is true that Sunghoon is one of the comedic reliefs in this fic, Sunghoon is also the token best friend that everyone needs. He has his own way of looking after Jake that is just so endearing to me. In fact one of my personal favorite scenes would be the jakehoon skirmish during the initiation where they're just tumbling down from one roof to another. They way Sunghoon was so proud when Jake managed to get his necklace 🥺 and the way he was like "Go. The other three won't be as easy as I was."

In his own silly little ways, he makes sure that Jake isn't left behind and watches over him. (Sunghoon wouldn't have brought Jake to the cafe and bought him a blood smoothie to begin with if he wasn't so kind) Speaking of blood smoothie, that brings us to the next part

RASPBERRY ORANGES

also known as blood oranges, where Enhypen coined their album name "Orange Blood" from. If you check the dates, Hwanghon Brew was posted before this release so belift, i was first 🙄 (lighthearted) anyway, blood oranges are literally just oranges but the insides are red.

I was searching for a fruit that would pass off as the same color as blood because I wanted Sunghoon to order something cryptic. In the sense that it's not really on the menu since only vampires would know about it because it's a code for blood, but if per se, a human manages to overhear it and ask about it, they could just serve a real fruit smoothie and it wouldn't look any different.

I thought maybe dragonfruit? but it's too purple. raspberry is too pink. strawberry would be too pale. I stumbled upon the raspberry orange, saw the pulp looking like blood and i thought, yeah this is it. This looks vampire-y enough.

I included this fruit solely because of that and didn't really think of anything else lol. Later on, I found out through my moot Kaia that blood oranges hold meanings that really align with the concept of Hwanghon Brew

THE BASEMENT

I don't know if i should feel flattered, scared, or annoyed that there seem to be so many parallels between hwanghon brew and official enhypen content. because first of all, i posted HB in october of 2022, and it had the line "bite me" (i'm not gatekeeping that phrase but the parallels are just fascinating) and then they come out with Dark Blood and Bite Me as the title track in 2023. Also, like i said, blood oranges, Orange Blood, etc etc. And the basement/frathouse IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SET IN SWEET VENOM LOOKS LIKE

like. the strobe lights, the party, the dingy mattresses??? thanks to belift for bringing my fic to life i guess??!?W@#$ anyway, since they were a coven disguised as a frat, i figured it was only right for them to have a frathouse. i didn't do much research on frats because i didn't focus on it much in the fic, but i guessed that frathouses were mostly...well, messy. Plus, they're supposed to be broke college kids, so i thought it'd be fitting for them to rent out a cheap basement in one of the shady alleys in Seoul.

THE COVEN

While it is true that they're also kind of a frat, like Sunghoon says,

“It’s a coven and a frat. I mean, we’re fronting as a frat. But, it’s not exactly a disguise because we really are a frat? You get what I mean.” Sunghoon waves his messy explanation off.

they are a coven first and foremost, which to me crosses out the thought that they only have men (since y'know. frat). in my mind the coven also has female members. since txt are part of it, i immediately thought of itzy, pictured yeji and ryujin on the couch making out and i was like yeah, i like that.

aside from the basement looking like sweet venom, at the time I was writing it, SV wasn't out yet. So the party was actually mostly based on the drunk-dazed party

Anyway, it's mentioned in passing that the pioneer of this coven is Jay, and he served as its leader for a good few centuries before handing the torch to Jungwon. Since then, he took the backseat with the leadership, but still helped in calling the shots. Jungwon doesn't make big decisions without consulting him (and Heeseung consequently)

MEETING HEEJAY

Like I said, I wanted to set the stage for heejay--present them in a way that both Jake and the readers know that they aren't like any other. I wanted them to be revered. While everyone was wilding it out partying, they were in the backroom watching it all unfold. idk there's just something about them just sitting there and watching over their people. literally like kings over their constituents. (constituents??!!)

Tall nose, sharp lips, tanned skin peeking out from the rips in his jeans

Tall nose, small lips, sharp jaw trailing down to a chin that juts out when he frowns. A leather choker around his neck, his knitted top torn.

These were the pictures in mind when I wrote the descriptions of heejay's first appearance

JAY

i can't recall if someone left a comment about this or a friend told me, but i remember someone saying that it made so much sense that Jay was the eldest vampire. they said that usually, people would think of going according to enha's real age, so it was refreshing to see Jay as the eldest.

to me it just felt right to make Jay the eldest and only pureblood in the coven. I think i based this off of the fact that Jay in real life was obviously brought up in a high class (?) family and environment. He knows a lot of things, is well off, and yet he seems street smart and wise.

with this, i came up with his background--his family being around for ages, somewhat pioneers of the current seoul vampire society, and owners of the disguised vampire establishments. speaking of family, it's implied that Yoongi is Jay's relative.

aside from this, I was thinking, Jay is mostly a loving sweetheart in the fics i've written, so why not make him a loving but emotionally constipated tsundere in this one?

anyway, given the fact that jay is the eldest, only pureblood, and founding father of their coven, i think his disposition was to be expected. he's literally like a grumpy overprotective father. to him his coven is his family, which is why he's skeptical to let strangers get close to the people he loves. especially after the first khan incident. He let khan into the coven, treated him as his own kin, and khan betrayed him by abandoning all the principles and beliefs he stands by, and put their coven in a bad light because of this. I can't really blame him for being on guard and cut throat with accepting new members after this.

HEESEUNG

heejay being 7yearz going on 8yearz in real life is truly the basis of heejay in this fic, and consequently, Heeseung's characterization. much like in real life, i wanted them to have spent a lot of time together, which is why i wrote Heeseung as coming from 1235, which was the Goryeo era. Originally, I wrote Heeseung as coming from the late 13th century, but wanted to align his story with a real historic event. That's why I moved his year to 1235 where there were Mongol invasions, which led to him being injured, and then led to him being turned.

I think it's evident especially with the whole "While Jay is the storm, Heeseung is the calm before that" part, that I wanted to strike a balance with the characterization of heejay. To me it also felt so...idk, couple? so parents of them to be opposites in this way. It was like Tamaki going all out and then there's Kyouya, his silent and supportive right hand man. (from Ouran High School Host Club)

Which is why I leaned into Heeseung's laid back traits in real life and channeled his relaxed and easy going disposition. I just figured it would have been too difficult for Jake if both Jay and Hee were skeptical of him, so i thought let's make Heeseung someone who is a good judge of character, someone who immediately sees the good in Jake and becomes smitten.

I believe Heeseung acted as a bridge more than anything because jayke's bond was honestly the last to form, so he's a mediator in more ways than one.

With regards to the coven, it is mentioned that Heeseung is the second eldest, which means that next to Jay, he's the most respected because #age and #heirarchy and all. Also, no one would dare question Hee because he is after all, Jay's life long partner and lover.

In my mind, Heeseung is very wife in this fic, in the sense that most of the time he is Jay's voice of reason, lending his silent support especially during the times it is most needed. While the coven was founded by Jay, it would be crippled without Heeseung.

JAYHOON CONVO (OUTTAKE)

On the day that Sunghoon told Jake to come to the coven, Heeseung was the only one in the basement. Jay went grocery shopping and Sunghoon bumped into him on the way there. they both make an entrance while bickering

the door swings open and in comes Sunghoon and Jay, at each other’s neck. Figuratively. “You should have told me beforehand!” “Well, I’m telling you now,”

Actually, they were fighting over Jake. The whole conversation goes like this:

"I told him he could join." "Who are you to decide that?" "Oh c'mon, aren't we like allowed to make referrals? like in companies? I'm pretty sure I should be getting a commission for recruiting him." "??? we are not a multi level company. Go bring your pyramid schemes somewhere else. Not to my coven" "But I already told Jake to come over," "You should have told me beforehand!" "Well, I'm telling you now"

their convo sounds pretty funny and sooo jayhoon in my head that i just had to share this even though it didn't make the cut in the fic

HWANGHON BREW

the heart of this fic (only actually partly, but the fact that this fic is named after the cafe make a big difference, no?) I'm not sure where this idea came from, I just figured it would be nice for them to have their own establishment. Like. #made by vampires for vampires. something like that, and thought hm, why not a cafe? so i went on to a name generator and it showed me a bunch of corny names for cafes T^T. I saw the word brew and it kinda stuck. So the next thing i did was to search for the korean words of vampire related things--moon, blood, twilight. And that's how i found the word hwanghon.

I put hwanghon and brew together, decided that i liked the sound of it, and put it as the working title while i was writing. i honestly didn't think that it would be the final title. I was just thinking of replacing it when i thought of something better, but fortunately i was unable to come up with anything that topped it DFAHAHAHA i am also so relieved I kept the title because i think it's so distinct? It has a very nice ring to it and makes it easy for me to search people talking about it on twitter HAHSDHF

here's the logo/symbol of hwanghon brew, and it's exactly as it is described in the fic

a crescent moon with the tips downturned, red rays dripping down from the middle.

the red rays are an allegory to blood, hence why I used the word "dripping" to describe it. also, to me, the downturned crescent moon is a hollistic symbol of vampirisms. it is both a moon, and a pair of fangs. This symbol also plays a big part in the initiation because the necklace's pendant is in the same shape.

anyway, onto the system of hwanghon brew itself. Like Jay explained, the process of blood goes like this: human donations > health organizations > human government > high council > blood banks > vampire establishments (like HB) honestly, i didn't really consume much vampire media. i have never watched twilight or vampire diaries. the only knowledge i have of the collective concept of vampires would be from interview with a vampire, supernatural, a few clips from vampire knight, and a few panels from blood bank.

though i think the fact that i didn't really consume vampire media turned out to be a good thing in the long run, because I eventually had my very own take on the vampire universe and the world building. Though, it's not uncommon to have blood banks and whatnot, i just find it fascinating to have the vampire high council working hand in hand with the human government.

JAKE

oh my sweet Jake. he's just a baby girl, that's all. His characterization here isn't really far off from how i see him in real life? happy go lucky, very determined, absolutely resilient.

besides, i think that these are qualities of a person who can go through so much and come out of it stronger. these are the traits that would enable him to put his foot forward, join the coven, butter up to heejay, and go against a monster like khan.

however, while he is all those things---strong and brave, he is also very hesitant at the same time? He's the type to rethink his actions and mull over his decisions over and over again and question himself if he made the right choice.

he's also very conscious of the people around him, and he has his own insecurities, which to makes him feel more human than any of them, which also makes sense given that he's the youngest vampire.

EYE COLORS

I mention this throughout the fic--their eyes flashing inhuman colors whenever they're either hungry, protective, angry, etc etc. For Jake, it's blue. For Jay, it's red. This small detail isn't really important aside from the fact that only purebloods have red eyes, but I just got this idea from the japanese MV of given-taken. (actually, i rewatched that mv so many times while writing this fic)

GIFTS

it's mentioned in the fic that vampires develop gifts down the road. Jay's is super strength, Heeseung - telepathy, Jungwon - speed, Sunghoon - shapeshifter(?), Sunoo - gravity defiance, Riki - shadow manipulation/teleportation

Honestly, i just got this from the dark moon webtoon because i wanted to add a little flare to it lmao. Given, Jake's power would be fire. Initially, I thought of including his power in the fic. If I did, it would play out like this: jake getting beat up by khan > heejay comes to the rescue > khan puts up a fight, drives them into a corner > jake, livid that khan had hurt heejay, awakens his power and uses fire for the first time to protect them (wow, zuko who?)

but I decided to scrap that idea because I wanted Jay to be indomitable, and also kinda wanted Jake to play into that whole damsel in distress thing

anyway speaking of powers, if anyone's wondering why heeseung didn't just tap into jake's mind to find him, it's because heeseung's telepathy in this universe only works on covenmates. and since jake technically wasn't a member yet, he couldn't reach him.

THE INITIATION

actually, if i remember correctly, this idea came from one of my twt besties and gfs, nina. it makes sense of course, because they're a frat. and frats have initiations and it's just terrorizing new recruits, like Sunghoon said. They reason that it's to assess the new member (especially after someone like khan), they wanted to be more sure of new recruits--whether they'd play dirty just to be part of the coven.

Sunghoon also mentions that it's Riki who suggested to have initiations and that it usually consists of playing games (tag, hide and clap) but with a vampire twist. Not only does this allow the existing members of the coven to assess the new recruits physical abilities (speed, senses, etc.) but it also allows them to asses their decision making.

SUNOO, JUNGWON, AND RIKI

admittedly, I didn't put much details about these three compared to the hyung line for various reasons.

for one, I wanted Sunoo to be a mystery, and figured that would only be effective if I only gave out little information about him, leaving gaps and spaces for the readers to imagine. Which is why I mentioned that aside from Jay, no one really knows about his age or where he came from. (but his backstory is complete in my mind lmao.) also, I wanted Sunoo to be different from the other vampires, which is why he sometimes talks in shakespearean HAJSHA. AND I wanted his character to be different from all the other sunoos I've written. I just really love playing into the opposite of how majority of the fandom perceives him as well.

Jungwon, while being the coven's leader, only makes appearances once in a while. Despite his little screentime (sorry won I'll make it up to you), I wanted to make sure that he came across as reliable, especially since he is the coven's acting leader. Which is why he shows up to remind Jake to feed. To me, while he participates in initiations, he makes up his mind about the new recruits prior to that and acts based on this. He went easy on Jake because he actually liked him and wanted him to be a part of the coven, which is why he played along but gave back Jake's moon necklace in the end.

And Riki. He may seem like a playful vampire who's just there for the vibes, but he is also very perceptive. Like Sunoo, he plays a bigger part than what is implied, but I don't want to give out too much information bc I want to write a prequel HSDFHAHSD but yeah, Riki knows the streets and knows his shit.

well, that's that. Thank you for coming to my ted talk! I really enjoyed writing about my thought process while writing, and where I pulled inspiration from. I still think that I really outdid myself with writing this one and I think the comments I got just prove it. I love Hwanghon Brew with my whole heart and I am beyond happy that I get to share this with people who enjoyed reading it just as much as I had fun writing.

whatever i didn't cover here (like most of their character backgrounds, and khan) I will be including in the prequel. Anyway, speaking of the prequel, I've been told that some readers are curious about the timelines and the backstories of the members. I think if you pay enough attention to detail, you'd be able to gather a few hints about the timelines and their ages.

I do hope that if I ever do push through with it, you would be tuned in as well >< I have actually finished the outline, all that's left is actually writing it. I don't know when because I am unfortunately a busy college senior (writing her thesis and having her internship). But I do hope I get to do it soon because some of you really seem enthusiastic about it and it really warms my heart. Anyway, please consider this a love letter to the readers who enjoyed Hwanghon so much and showered it with so much love.

love u all ❣

#hwanghon brew

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nijigay · 9 months

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hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

#can i tag this #IM TAGGING THIS #boniji #bocchi the rock!#headcanons #hitori gotoh #nijika ijichi #hitori gotou #uhh what else would i tag. ...#my fanfic is in this #i really. really really REAAAAALLY like boniji #bocchi wants a cosplayer gf and the next day nijika starts fuckign cosplaying #what a coincidence #crazy right #long post #under the read more

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pinktom · 7 months

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this is for that random character asks post you reblogged, but SPECIFICALLY for tom, harry, and the twins from lover's spit! 13, 17, 19, 24, 50

I've held onto this ask like a little treat for a special occasion. Thanks for asking, anon! These are really interesting questions.🐍💚

This is for the real ones, so it's going beneath a 'keep reading' cut. x)

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

Twins

OK. They've definitely smoked nutmeg, and tripped so badly, they were running naked, sweating, crying. (For those who don't know: never smoke nutmeg lmao. It's notorious for the most vivid and horrific hallucinations, as well as painful side effects afterward.)

Harry

Can't you just see him doing some Mission Impossible nonsense and tearing down the entire banister? Or causing a small but highly damaging fire in the kitchen?

However, it will be outdone in coming chapters. Rest assured of that.

Tom

Well. Okay, aside from the obvious. He's definitely that kid who won't just take your word for it; he has to touch the hotplate to know it burns. Has to feel the blade to know it's sharp. A lot of going stone cold silent as his father yells and his nan quietly looks for a bandage.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Twins

I absolutely love the music of Bloodhound Gang, and I think many of their songs capture their whimsical, chaotic, silly energy. Let's go with "A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying."

Harry

Cavetown dominates my playlists for Harry — top picks being "Meteor Shower," "Lemon Boy," "Advice," "This is Home," and "Sweet Tooth." And most of all, "Talk to Me":

It's so dark outside tonight Build a fire warm and bright And the wind it howls and bites Bite it back with all your might

His beautiful hoarse adolescent voice fits perfectly, as well as the understated purity and warmth of his lyrics.

Tom

Perhaps I'll hold on to the top song -- as it will surface in the penultimate chapter. :D

I'm also very fond of listening to "Icicles" by The Scary Jokes to get in the LS!Tom mindset. Every lyric fits, particularly:

Icicles don't soften when they die They sharpen into sabers, and they stab you in the eye

The tone from light-hearted and self-confident, to freaking out like a teenage girl - it's perfect.

19. Vices/bad habits

Twins

Smoking cigarettes, making bombs, dealing drugs. Probably watch a lot of porn (not together; or at least I hope not).

Harry

He is quite saintly. He often distracts himself from his problems by exhausting himself physically, so perhaps that.

The porn is getting a bit out of hand for him too, though.

Tom

He not only hyper-fixates on the person he loves, but also, on the many people he hates. Like, Cedric has clearly been living in his head rent free lol.

24. Most annoying habit

Twins

I can just hear them smacking their food. No manners, these two.

Harry

I think, if you asked his parents or friends, it would be his inexplicable mood swings.

But readers spend a lot of time in his head, so I think it seems a lot more understandable from that angle, lol.

Tom

He requires you to clarify yourself, literally, if he takes issue with anything you've said or otherwise wants you to reconsider.

It's probably not always purposeful; I do think he can struggle with subtext. Sometimes it is purposeful, and he's being difficult on purpose. Perhaps it's a lingering habit from childhood, where he usually could not pick up on subtext at all.

50. A memory they’ve blocked out

Twins

Hey, they have no recollection of tying Ron to that lamppost during the winter storm. He probably did that himself, the little squealer.

Harry

He has—with above-average success—ignored many memories relating to his gay attraction LMAO.

When he says (I think in Ch. 4?) that he's quite sure he isn't gay, let me be cleary: he is eyeball deep in denial.

He does know he's gay by that point. He knew it for years. He's just masterful at repressing that little voice inside his head.

Tom

His memory is extremely sharp, '99th percentile' sort of sharp. But I still think he manages to block out quite a bit of ages 10-13 alsjdlfkj 💀

I think he can remember it all if he wants, but he does have some very selective blockers covering up to months of time: portions of his trial, his nan and aunties crying, several of the mandatory therapy sessions he went to, the works.

Most of all, I think he really blocks out any memory of Harry during this time, to the extent he can barely remember him being at the trial at all.

I would argue this is where he varies the most from canon!Voldemort. For me, it's not the limitless twinkiness, nor even the capacity for romantic obsession, that makes LS!Tom fundamentally different from Voldemort. It is his ability to compartmentalize, and move on.

If anyone made it to the end of this, I love you - simple as that.

#lover’s spit #ask game

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 10 months

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oh god you have foolishly provided me a chance to dump the contains of my soul and heart out in the open through throwing all my favorite songs to listen to and think of Muriel at you in this essay i WILL

ok first i know its on his official playlist already BUT i feel a need to emphasize just how much it is ABsoLUTEly HIS song most of any of them: drumroll please::: 👏Wolf👏 by 👏First Aid Kit👏 any muriel simp reading this right now i am pounding you with my brainwaves of intent to go listen to it Right Now and Read those Lyrics and just try to tell me its not literally about him god if could draw id be doing such a cool animatic about it but alas it dies with me anyway WAYWARD WINDS!!! A VOICE THAT SINGS!!!! OF A!! FORGOTTEN!!!! LAND!!!!!!! SEE IT FALL!!!! CHILD OF WAR!!!! OH LEND!!!! A MENDING HAND!!!!!!!!!!! i believe ive made myself clear kbgxkyhfhkvd

https://youtu.be/6PmuuiXgIZE

i dont know if links work on anon but i had to try gjzghfdtomfg our wedding song straight up this is in my language and also like. about a girl but the words are easy to switch around so it fits lol it basically just goes like "you just had to know (to do something? like in a you know how to work me way lmao linguistics hard), that i cant forget you at all/i forgot my mother and father/my sister and my brother but i cant goshdarn forget you" and i dont know i probably cant translate that so it hits right but god its absolutely perfect to me cause like I DIDNT! FORGET HIM!! MC REMEMBERS HIM AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT!!!! EVEN WITH THE CURSE I DONT KNOW LET ME HAVE THIS ITS TOO GD ROMANTIC I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT ME ACTING LIKE THIS AGHGF im sorry for yelling i got excited

NEXT a classic we gotta pepper some hozier on this thing so here goes Nothing Fucks With My Baby cause thats my ultimate serenade for him in my head especially the "if i was born/as a blackthorn tree/id wanna be held by you/felled by you/fuel the pyre of your enemies" part as it perfectly describes my sentiments towards my man: hes my bby i will kill for him👁️👁️

theres Always Forever by Cults, i dont have that much to rant about it i just always think of him when i play it lol theres hozier again It Will Come Back which is on his official playlist too but i play around with perspectives in this one cause i put myself in the "it" position, like. im chasing here bro👀 oh my god i have got to shut up this is entirely tmi

https://youtu.be/mLycEitwJCA

i made a whole post about this one its a whole thing lmao long story short muriel on a murderous revenge quest au MOVING ON

OH i remembered another folky one

https://youtu.be/NrgwIo8GWDI

its SUCH a banger and i love it and it goes like i saw a Wolf a Fox a Rabbit so i just imprinted on it with Muriel Asra and MC respectively cause i dont know i had a phase where i decided mcs spirit animal is a rabbit cause of that scrapped introduction chapter with the labyrinth thing i guess idk im scrambling here ngfsfugc anyway it slaps listen to it and imagine a bangin tavern party and maybe youll calm down /meme

ohh ok we're on a folksy roll thats probably because i just mostly associate old timey sounding songs with arcana in general lmao i mean its like middle ages over there right

https://youtu.be/t9PUlNQOZ8o

this ones in my language again i know annoying but i found a translated version look!!! AND theres a bunch of people correcting the mistakes in the comments too if you were wanting to get deeper into research hkdggjyecb and its white voice style so depending on your taste it might sound silly but yeah this ones got some fitting lines too tying up with Murmur and its so cute and so cheesy and hopeful and sappy and it cheers me up aw

oh my god i wonder if anyone gets this far reading this ever if youre seeing this its probably during a scroll roll slow just enough to make out the letters Hello godspeed you continue on your journey with my blessings cause im noT EVEN DONE YET HAHAHAHAHAA

Motha Motha! Problems! nuff said

https://youtu.be/artn9fErRp8

this ones gonna take explaining gjxgkhpgz but maybe not that much

https://youtu.be/_h9V94b4R2g

i just had a eureka moment one day and so another animatic concept to take to my grave was born lmao but mostly its just playing into Muriels & MCs "nO i cOULd hUrt YoU Go aWaY" + "ayo hold my flower ima kill them real quick" dynamic theyve got heehee like the whole "~Dangerous~ ooh that sounds good ya" bit and also yes im in your house no im not leaving jgdghkfhgd and like i just imagined the song fitting the vibe of the whole murder lucio quest road trip with MC all "yo we Getting this shit DONE dont fuck around w my crew" (The Crew: feral milf & bear with anxiety) AND LIKE i always get to the "party like we all gon die tonight" basedrop part with the whole visual montage of us finding khamgalai and then the graveyard fight and Absolutely Everything Going to Shit and the mood shifting to "well fuck maybe we do not in fact got this" but its good we kick lucio all the way to hell at the end we good💕

https://youtu.be/ZxWiG6UJr0w

MMMMMMM THIS ONEE AWW im literally just scrolling through my endless unsorted playlist to find these gdiyyfgfz this ones just cute it doesnt really relate to anything at all actually when i think about it but its nice so here

https://youtu.be/6FEDrU85FLE

.....nope i got nothing on this one just plop it right in here

oh my god. its over. weve done it. we're free

man i hope those links work. definitely not on mobile lol whatever

Hi! and oh, WOW, this was one of the most delightfully wild essays I've ever read for Muriel and I loved it. Especially describing the dynamic on the trip south as "feral milf & bear with anxiety" XD

I've found that links don't work in asks, even with the media option turned on, so I'll include them below. Thanks for your suggestions, anon, I'll put them on the tag! ^.^

youtube

#ask arcana brainrot #arcana brainrot playlist #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #muriel the arcana #muriel of the kokhuri #the arcana game

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waltzofphoenix · 14 days

Note

2. How did you get into this franchise/fandom?, 17. Are there any ships you can’t stand, why?, 20. If you could sum up your character with one sentence, what would it be? 21. Which song do you feel describes your character the most and why? (Zhongli, Albedo, Kaeya, Diluc, Venti? <3~)

canon questionnaire ✩ accepting!

2. How did you get into this franchise/fandom?

; [ WELL, YOU KNOW... a friend of mine got into it first, and I had to find out what all the fuss was about!

But yeah, the more you talked about it the more I wanted to play it, myself. It sounded like the plot was my kind of story, for starters, and you KNEW which characters I would be drawn to, haha! ]

17. Are there any ships you can’t stand? Why?

; [ There's a few, yeah. Mostly, it's just that I dislike the dynamics the characters have together... or I dislike the dynamics that the FANS have decided the characters have together, regardless of canon.

(The latter is even true for ships I enjoy, like Kaeya + Albedo. It's so jarring to see people write one or both of them ALL WRONG.)

I'd rather not name ship names, though, because I don't want a ship critical post to somehow end up in ship tags, LOL. ]

20. If you could sum up your character with one sentence, what would it be?

˖°✩ — Diluc: "He needs to learn to trust his heart again."

✧˖° — Kaeya: "No matter where it came from, a dandelion will bloom where it grows."

✤˖° — Albedo: "Sometimes, the question is the answer."

◇°˖ — Zhongli: "Even stone can change."

○࿐ — Venti: "The wind can be a gentle breeze... or an angry storm."

21. Which song do you feel describes your character the most and why?

This got a bit long, WHOOPS! There's also some slight ship bias in some of these songs because... it's hard to find songs that aren't about romance and I DO have feelings about a few ships. SO!

Disclaimers aside, please enjoy the playlist~

Luck by American Authors — this song makes me think of Diluc and Kaeya's relationship, since there's verses that fit both of them, but if I had to pick ONE, it's more of a Diluc song:

Gonna pick myself up, so I don't let this ember grow Even if I mess up, I won't let this ever go It's hard to stay, it's hard to stay 'Cause some birds aren't meant to be caged

Lost Boy by Troye Sivan — it's not perfect, but it just gives me such strong Kaeya vibes? It makes me think of his way of dodging around his own feelings, and how he's just... not ready to be honest with the whole world about himself yet:

I say I wanna settle down Build your hopes up like a tower I'm giving you the run around I'm just a lost boy Not ready to be found

What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish — this one just fits Albedo so well, aaah!? It's about a doll that's seeking her purpose, that wants to know what it's like to be real and have all the feelings:

'Cause I, I I don't know how to feel But I wanna try I don't know how to feel But someday, I might Someday, I might

Memories by Maroon 5 — This is such a Zhongli song. "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember… But where are those who share the memory...?" I DO associate it with his relationship with Guizhong specifically, but it could fit anyone he cares about:

Toast to the ones here today Toast to the ones that we lost on the way 'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

Humbug Mountain Song by Fruit Bats — I feel like this could be a song about how Venti... became Venti, if that makes sense? SO it would also be a song about the Nameless Bard:

The next thing I knew the stars were eyes up in the night And the ocean breathing heavy like a beast I held you, but I don't know if I was strong enough to say How the way it felt messed up my mind

BONUS ROUND:

Let it Out by Miho Fukuhara — this is such a good song for Diluc and Lia's relationship! They want to turn their pain and tears into stars, they don't need to "pretend to be strong" around each other, the lines about the light of a new day and gentle winds... AAAH?!

Dandelions by Ruth B. — do I even need to explain why I think this is a Venti song? It is a love song, though, and while I don't actually ship Venti with anyone except maybe the Nameless Bard... it could still be a song about Venti, right? LOL!

#✧ [ a message from afar ] ask #✩ [ the dawn knight ] diluc headcanon #✧ [ a glacial waltz ] kaeya headcanon #✩ [ flash of genius ] albedo headcanon #✩ [ resonant waves ] zhongli headcanon #✩ [ skyward sonnet ] venti headcanon

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silvery-bluish · 8 months

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9 13 and 23 for ars? 👀👀

Questions from here!

Of Course!!! Thanks for the ask Jazz :)

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

hooo do I. Many. I'll just grab a couple, though, and more Arsinoe-specific ones not relationship ones.

From Mary Oliver's Moments, "There is nothing more pathetic than caution/ when headlong might save a life,/ even, possibly, your own." which is where I snagged the series name for their fics I've posted to Ao3. Something about the holding your breath scared out of your mind taking the plunge anyway, y'know.

And I'll just do one song (but i have MANY) for the Anarchist Energy of it all and overall one of the most upbeat things in my playlist for them, Atlas Drowned, Gang of Youths. "I don't care what it says, this is my goddamned place/I'm a traitor to country and glad, 'cause my country's disgraced." "To you bells in the curve, I will love you but love not the powers you serve/Do not grow complacent or take less than what you deserve."

13. If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Man. I. Honestly, they'd probably just blatantly ignore my existence t b h. They lean really hard into Not Giving A Damn about a specific person or Caring Extremely, Arsinoe Would Now Die For You (or Personal Enmity Forever) and I'm not sure what I, Bookish, would do to actually get their attention. I don't think they'd hate my guts though!! we could maybe bond over coffee and (some) tech shit, idk. or we'd get stuck in the Introvert Neither Of Us Knows How To Start A Conversation Loop.

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Is. Is all of them an acceptable answer? Arsinoe tends to get caught in a loop of 'this specific word does not quite entirely define the emotion that is all tangled up in my chest and ALL the words are slightly wrong.' Defining it aside, I think they find their own anger the hardest to process. It's easier to displace it to anger on someone else's behalf, instead of dealing with and examining the things that have happened to THEM that make them angry.

They've got. Issues, expressing vulnerability and affection and sadness and anger and-- well. Etc. Showing emotion means showing weakness and they're not a good actor but they can pull off a decent poker face so that's as good a mask as anything, probably, but it does mean they tend to bottle Everything up. And Open Affection in particular is Real Hard, especially with Ricardo (for can't read his mind reasons) because it's letting themself be seen, with the danger that comes with it. They try anyway, sometimes.

#arsinoe #thank u for the ask <3 #ive got Many Many songs in my playlist

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novafire-is-thinking · 9 months

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Tags by @pantelda on the Cybertronian vs. Human lifetime post.

I thought about replying to this on the post, but I’m gonna get personal, so I’m responding this way.

I’ve never had the opportunity to take care of a rat or a tiny furry friend, but I have raised butterflies. I even had the honor of being visited regularly by a wild songbird for a time.

I’ll be honest. Neither of those experiences stand out to me much now. In fact, I’d totally forgotten about the little songbird until I started writing this post.

And I absolutely adored that little bird. She was special to me. But once she stopped coming by, she faded from my memory after so many years.

One could argue that the experience didn’t leave a huge impression on me since those creatures weren’t sentient. My response to that is, “Fair enough. But I’m not done yet.”

Here’s the thing: I have what one might call chronic “looking forward syndrome.”

What I mean by that is, I’m naturally so fixated on the future that I have difficulty holding onto my past.

Feelings from my past attachments slip away from me easily. I didn’t really know what nostalgia felt like until a little over 3 years ago. My past barely feels real to me; for the most part, it’s merely an interesting story I heard/read once.

Old friends, items, and events fade into the background until there’s hardly any sentimental “substance” to them.

I try very hard to hold onto certain meaningful moments and feelings from my past. I have playlists for special people who’ve come and gone in hopes that I can hold onto something, but that often doesn’t work because when I keep listening to songs, previous associations disappear after a while.

It’s like my mind is always trying to wipe the slate clean. Sometimes, this is voluntary, but more often than not, it happens automatically.

This is one of the reasons why Chromedome is an interesting character to me. What he does to detach from his past often happens to me against my conscious will. Don’t get me wrong—I still treasure memories I have of people and events. It’s just that I feel oddly detached from those memories—like they’re just an interesting book I read and put away on a shelf.

There are one or two individuals from my past whom I can say I miss in a significant way—people I long to connect with again. But they are the exception.

I feel the pain of loss very deeply, but in most cases, I end up distanced from it, either voluntarily or involuntarily.

The reason I share all of this is to make a point: Not everyone is naturally able to hold onto their past. And after reading reply after reply on that lifespan post, I realize that, because of how I personally struggle with detachment from my past, there is a unique type of horror I feel when I consider the massive lifespan gap.

Of course a being that lives for a short time can change someone’s life in unspeakable ways and become part of them in a special way. But that’s only if they can manage to stay connected to the past in some way.

For me, if I were Cybertronian, I fear my human friends would end up as mere blips on the timeline of my life. I’d still have the memories, but the feelings of connection to those past relationships would be in constant danger of fading to nothing.

I guess I’d put it like this:

We all have graveyards. A lot of people build magnificent memorials and revisit regularly. Some even go so far as to lock themselves inside the gates for reasons ranging from comfort to guilt.

But me? I’m not so good at building memorials to lost things. I’m better at building cities and planting gardens over my graveyards until they’ve nearly disappeared.

I leave anyone who’s read all of this with what is, in my opinion, one of the most heartbreaking tags on the lifespan post:

that's a long time for hellos and goodbyes

It is indeed…

#soundwave keep an eye on this

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owlsandbats · 1 year

Text

TOH VAMPIRE AU MASTERPOST

Hi, this is Ferret of @ferretwhomst and this is my silly little Aladarius/Raeda-centric Vampire AU Askblog! here is some basic info about my AU :-)

Raine and Darius have disappeared off the face of the Boiling Isles, and Eda and Alador (with Lilith's help) are determined to find out what happened. Lilith grows anxious once they discover that the cause of their disappearance was most certainly due to an ambush by vampires- Eda and Alador on the other hand are more eager than ever to find them.

Things that I altered about canon:

This AU takes place before the show. The Hexsquad are around 10 during this AU, and King is about 4- not that this is super relevant, but just to put things into perspective.

Alador and Odalia separated about 1 or 2 years before this AU. Not divorced, they're still married on paper, but Odalia no longer lives with them and the Blights no longer associate with her.

Lilith defected from the Emperor's Coven 3 or 4 months before this AU takes place. Well, I say defected, but it's up to you to find out what really happened. :-)

For more info check out:

The Lore Post which explains the events leading up to the AU better than I did in this post. I'm pretty sure it also counts as a short fic because of how much detail I went into, so enjoy

Possible Lilith Routes which I was considering. (The route I'll be taking her for this askblog is the second one.)

Spotify Playlist for songs that gave me the idea to make this AU in the first place (and that I highly recommend listening to if you're interested in my AU!)

Who's open for asks?

Eda and Alador. They'll answer pretty much any question you throw at them.

Lilith. She's a bit frazzled at any given point of time- she'll answer your questions, but might get frustrated quickly.

Hooty. He'll answer any question you ask him completely truthfully, being the all-knowing Owl House itself, but he gets distracted extremely easily.

Raine and Darius. Like Lilith, they're constantly on edge. You'll have to earn their trust before you can ask them questions.

Me! I'll answer any questions about the AU in general and about characters I haven't mentioned- pretty much anything you're curious about. Drop me an ask and I'll be more than glad to tell you what's up!

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solar-tl-27 · 6 months

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Are there some songs that you like to listen to while drawing that you associate with some characters?

I listen to a lot of musicals & stuff when i'm thinking about ideas for the winx characters

Epic the musical is something i'm extremely excited for because the songs work really well to boost my creativity

I also spent 3 hours putting the entire &Juliet musical in a playlist on SoundCloud cuz while it was posted there was no easy album to access.

I really like how it adds a fantasy twist to existing music and i listened to that a lot during the early writing stages.

Currently i'm uhh Listening to the soundtrack of trolls 3 😅 it's actually pretty good.

Madds Buckley is also someone i listen to a lot because the music really incorporates story telling well

Furthermore when working on Daphne i currently listen to the album this is why by paramore and the song iris by the goo goo dolls.

Currently i mostly work on her and valtor

Some other songs i associate with them are

Wonderland by Taylor swift. And the song ruler of my heart from alien stage.

that actually was the song i had on loop when drawing them together for the first time.

Furthermore I don't associate Songs very strictly to characters unless i'm actively working on them

But i do have one for diaspro!

Sever the blight by hemlocke springs is a song i listen to a lot and i always go... This feels like diaspro.

Furthermore for writing I listen to a lot of animated movie soundtracks & covers , fandom songs and moody music because it often really works with a theme in the music that makes it easier to help conceptualize ideas.

So a lot of

Annapantsu

Ama lee

Cg5

And that sort of stuff!

Most of the music i listen to for myself is more older music and or the Barbie soundtrack atm

But i mostly just listen to podcasts or have YouTube on when working!

Might eventually make playlists for characters but that's gonna take a while to find enough songs to associate with each character!

#winx #winx club #winx rewrite #winx reignited

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twinksintrees · 2 years

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Please tell more about your playlists! I've been listening to some of them and I'm rll curious about why you put certain songs in playlists and ur anlysises on them!

thank you for the ask!! Bc this ended being way longer than I thought it would be, I’m only going to be focusing on one playlist here, but I will write up similar post for most of my other playlists as well. Today we will be focusing on my Glenn Close playlist.

Edit: a link to the playlist has been added below bc I forgot to put that in when I first posted lmao

Analysis under the cut

Carry on my wayward son: this might be one of the simplest to explain, and its because the cast themselves have joked and talked about how this song fits glenn, even going so far as to make the title to one of the most important glenn centric episodes. It has to be on there imo.

Highway to hell: this one is also simple to explain, glenn became a demon and went through his owm highway to hell, as it were. It also fits into his dad rock theme, as does carry on my wayward son.

I miss having sex but at least i dont want to die anymore: i dont have a real reason for this one honestly, i think i heard this song on a random playlist and it made me think of glenn? I think theres a version of glenn in my head that lives as a human and goes back to the human realm as normal with the other dads and this would be from his pov after he grows and gets older and does some healing i guess?? It doesn’t make a lot of sense ik.

Anna sun: this is one of the songs most closely (heh) associated with glenn in my head. This song makes me think of young glenn, fresh after morgan died, being left with a 7 y/o Nick and no idea how to cope with either of their grief. The chorus of “this house is falling apart” sung with more and more intensity makes me envision a scene where its young glenn, standing in a small, lonely apartment holding a tiny nick in his arms as he looks around, no idea what to do without his wife and best friend here to help him. The lyrics “we got no money, but we got heart” make me think of glenn, failing rockstar, determined to make a way for himself and for his son.

Sickly sweet holidays: i found this one on another glenn playlist, and the christmas theme was perfect, but also, the lyrics “im crying every day, i wish that you were here, when christmas comes this time each year” are so heartbreaking applied to him and morgan if its him singing that after shes gone.

Last christmas: it fit the christmas theme and i just liked the jimmy eat world version lmao.

Home: this song. just breaks me. The pain and the heartbreak and the tragedy of losing someone you care so deeply about just is glenn with morgan. The lyrics “and i got mad when they said that you weren't coming back to me, cause i hate hearing the truth” are crushing in this case especially because glenn does hate hearing the truth. He’s the type of person who avoids his problems until they slap him in the face. He does that with his grief, doesnt acknowledge his or his son’s pain, and it isnt good for him. For either of them.

Ghost of york: this song is on the playlist solely because it slaps and because of the lyrics “and from the corner of my eye/i saw you dressed all in white/i saw you pass right by/maybe i had too much wine/you never said goodbye” for me, this song speaks to a sad, depressed glenn mourning his wife and drowning his pain with drink, wishing he just had the chance to say goodbye one more time.

Afraid: “when i wake i'm afraid somebody else might take my place” i mean, this literally happened with him and jodie. The chorus is glenn talking shit about jodie. “It hurts but i wont fight you” is glenn accepting jodie as Nick’s new father.

Pope is a rockstar: i dont care i dont care if the lyrics are ‘pope is a rockstar’ Glenn sang ‘go little rockstar’ to nick when he was young and you can't change my mind.

Never love an anchor: oooohh boy. Oh boy. Pain. let's go. With the first lyrics alone “on some level i think i always understood/that these hands of mine were clumsy not clever/and i tried to do the best that i could/ but try as i might i could not bring myself to hold you” this is a very glenn song. Glenn Close was not meant to be a father, no matter how much he loved his son. In fact, with the next set of lyrics we’ll be looking at “a ship could never really love an anchor/so i did the only thing that i could/and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor” they can be tied directly to him making the choice to let nick go at the trial. “There are times when i still wonder about you/you are someone i have loved but never known” glenn still loves nick, but that's not the same nick he raised. He is someone glenn has loved, but never truly known after the swap with jodie. “You’ll never see the reasons i had/for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you” nick will never really know the choice, the sacrifice glenn made when he called for the switch. He will never know the pain glenn saved him from losing two parents. “I am selfish i am broken i am cruel” represents all of glenns self hatred and negativity. I think at certain points pf the podcast he genuinely believes all of those things about himself. “I am all the things they might have said to you” is glenn being terrified nick will end up exactly like him and so deeply hoping he doesn't.

The light behind your eyes: this song is from glenn’s pov in prison. “If i could be with you tonight/i would sing you to sleep/never let them take the light behind your eyes” the idea of him being able to get out and sing this for his friends around a campfire, or sing this softly to his son one last time keeps him going. “I failed and lost this fight/never fade in the dark/just remember you will always burn as bright” is glenn literally losing the court case and getting sentenced to the prison, he is the one fading in the dark, and the only thing keeping him going is the memory, the brightness, of his friends and of his son. I also think glenn sang this to nick as a lullaby when he was a little kid.

Death as a fetish: this song also represents glenns incredibly negative internal voice. The repetition of “i will never be good enough” is all of his internal thoughts that he will never open up about or share with anyone.

The soccer journals: read for a better explanation below

Hey there delilah: read the post linked below for an explanation. @that-one-queer-punk pointed this one out to me and actually wrote a fic based on it, and I’ve linked it below if you wanna check it out, it’s good shit.

Cold cold man: this for me is young glenn when he and morgan are just starting to get together. He’s very devoted to her and he truly believes “the only bed worth sleeping’s the one right next to you” he can appear to be smooth, suave guy who sleeps around, but he honestly enjoys a monogamous relationship and would never betray her that way.

Therapy: glenn needs therapy. Plain and simple.

#dndads glenn close #dndads #dungeons and daddies #glenn close #character analysis #if there any spelling mistakes I’m so sorry #just roll with it #if anyone has any follow up questions I’d be more then happy to answer them #the other character playlist breakdowns will take a while to get down with but they are coming so I hope you #enjoy those in the future :D

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rinringringu · 10 months

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if you're doing "send a character" thing, what're your thoughts on Mahiru Koizumi?

Mahiru the silliest💥💥💥💯💯

• favorite thing about them

Geniunly warms my heart how well meaning they are... Like I do love the evil fucking characters I love when they're absolutely chaotic BUT she's so😭😭 she just cares for everyone and she's so human and NICE it's gonna kill me like this sounds stupid but I like that she recognizes their position in the world and is aware of all the shitty stuff but nonetheless she wants to show everyone how kind and beautiful the world / the people in it can be.

• least favorite thing about them

well I mean I could be here and list their flaws but that's really not true cause I don't hate those things I mean they make her, her. probably (and this isn't even something that is the characters fault lol) idk how everyone and even the writers glossed over the bullying they got in middle school?? What?? It's so vague I do not get that part like what happend to her...😧

• favorite line

"Oh? What happend to the though guy who said stuff like 'I cAn Do It!'" STOP their voice actress is so fucking good 😭😭 also can't forget the "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

• brOTP

you guys know me I think she's hilarious with most of the guys especially w hinata and/or komaeda BECAUSE YES I'M BIASED OK I JUST REALLY LIKE THEM no but seriously they'd be funny I like how they're kinda similar!! (I'm grasping at any connection the characters might have) but I also cry a bit thinking of her and fuyuhiko making up and being friends :((( like :(((((

• OTP

MAHIPEKO god I should really get back to them I invented this shit for realsies!!! Best thing I ever did after being born. Tomorrow new mhpk post 📯📯📯 I SWEAR. also I'm pretty fond of her and mikan, Ibuki, sato, natsumi... Um I mean lots of girls BAHHAHAH I also think kazukoi divorce is hilarious

• nOTP

I mean I don't really like mahiyoko bcs i see them as sisters really.

• random headcanon

one of those kids that had the part of a tree or a bush in the school play but the twist is she was totally happy with it. Very proud moment of her life to this day

• unpopular opinion

people are so mean to her I could just write all the weird shit haters say but in general STOP twisting and turning their relationship w/ Hiyoko??? Stop??? You're turning yeah a kind of weird situation but still very sweet and genuine connection into idk evil planning and scheming like they're 17 LEAVE THEM ALONE GOD

• song(s) I associate with them

PUT SOME SONGS FROM MY PLAYLIST OF HER (bro could not choose one)

• favorite picture of them

The First one makes me throw up laughing & I LOVE THEIR ANNIVERSARY DRESS!2!!2?2?2!2!2!2!2!2 SUAHHWWHHA

#;; 🩸 daniel talks #sdr2 #mahiru koizumi

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lucky-draws · 2 years

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hii I was just wondering if there are any songs you associate with particular mgs characters or ships? any playlists? I need recs for mine!! ty <3

HELLO!!! um OK i don't have any playlists of my own but there are definitely a bunch of songs i associate w mgs ppl/ships... (apologies in advance for a lot of them being by the same band LOL)... erm maybe what i’ll do is i’ll just list them here first without any explanation but then under a read more i will post the same list but with some thoughts/specific reasons why so you can choose whether to listen blind/draw ur own conclusions OR to read my thoughts beforehand etc, i wont talk abt every song tho just a few of them, SO yeah: by Depeche Mode: Judas - ocelot Bottom Line - ocelot Halo, Personal Jesus, Only When I Lose Myself - bosselot In Your Room - bosselot, or any other ship (horny) (lol) Never Let Me Down Again - kaz Walking In My Shoes - big boss Mercy In You - otasune/david pov Black Celebration - otasune Barrel Of A Gun - david, maybe venom snake too Policy Of Truth - sort of kaz and bb but more generally just like. lies. betrayal. etc. just general horny songs by the modes which u could apply to whoever include Rush, Higher Love, World In My Eyes (< that one’s kind of bosselot?) by the Pet Shop Boys: Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots Of Money) - Kaz (lol) Pandemonium - bosselot? Two Divided By Zero - otasune? vaguely... by Kraftwerk Computer Liebe/Computer Love - dr strangelove/strangeboss (lol), also maybe otacon actually (idk if there are any others by them i’d specifically relate to a character BUT. just the general electronic loneliness might bring some vibes to a playlist....i will just list some of my fave kw songs for fun lol: Radioactivity, Radioland, Airwaves, Ohm Sweet Ohm, Neon Lights, Pocket Calculator...) by Duran Duran Is There Something I Should Know? - very vaguely bosselot View To A Kill - a cheesy james bond film song but that makes it snake eater esque and therefore kind of bosselot or mgs3 in general (snake eater itself also definitely works as a bosselot song....get that tree frog in your playlists) by The Jam Thick As Thieves - bbkaz? ok that’s all i got for now rly, apologies that these are all the same kind of uh genre sort of. if u dont like depeche mode or synthpop in general then i guess this was no help at all.......LOL.......really tho depeche mode and metal gear just fit so well together in my opinion it’s a win if ur a fan of both....

so yh anyway hope u manage to fill your playlist!!! have a good day :-) <3

ok errm i wont talk abt every song bc that would be a lot but i’ll do the ones i have the most to say abt/think they need explaining/can actually articulate something abt:

Depeche Mode:

- Judas - ocelot and his devotion to bb. religious suffering. martyrdom. all the shit ocelot does for big boss. yeah.

- Bottom Line - kind of ocelot also, his devotion to bb again but specifically like. idk 'the apple falls, destiny calls, i follow you' was the line that made me go (!) bc i saw a post on here where someone i think it was a user called captmelbourne mentioned the whole. ocelot born from a snake shaped scar thing. 'destiny and shit' was the words they used i believe and like! fucking. exactly that... idk. ocelot and bb being so weirdly horribly intertwined bc of the boss is what makes me go insane every time

- Never Let Me Down Again - i sort of relate this to bbkaz like from kaz' pov...the 'he' the song talks abt being bb...'im taking a ride w my best friend. i hope he never lets me down again. promises me im safe as houses (as long as i remember who's wearing the trousers.)'..... just the whole kaz caught up in euphoria of being w bb except we know and maybe he himself knows that it will not end well. bb's power/control over and eventual betrayal of kaz etc. u know?

Pet Shop Boys: - Pandemonium - maybe the type of music itself doesnt feel that bosselot-ty but the lyrics sort of are, from bb’s pov marvelling at ocelot’s general lunacy, ‘in major trouble since u were almost a minor’...’sometimes i think we’ll both explode’...just their crazy dynamic basicly - Two Divided By Zero - you could see this as like philanthropy otasune, always on the run kind of thing....? idk its just a song that i like LOL ...half of these are like my fave songs anyway that i also happen to go (!) what if i forced this to be related to mg somehow LOL

Kraftwerk - Computer Love - just makes me think of strangelove + the ai pod, loneliness, literally ‘computer love’ in terms of building the ai as a replacement boss kind of thing.....and also maybe more generally otacon? makes me think of him pre-meeting snake, his lonely nerd era etc Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know? - only vaguely bosselot but i class it in similar vibes to snake eater ish, just the cheesiness, ‘don’t say ur easy on me, you’re about as easy as a nuclear war’ is very metal gear i think LOL, just in general mgs3 bosselot meeting, same w View To A Kill The Jam - Thick As Thieves - just vaguely bbkaz, ‘like a perfect stranger you came into my life, like a perfect lone ranger you rode away..’ just friendships falling apart etc...more childhood friends in the song than uh whatever bbkaz are but ya know, just vibes

#i actually answered a similar ask a while back and i probably said a lot of the same songs but idk i didnt feel like just #bringing the old post up i wanted to do it again ...i have probably got a tiny bit more insane since then after all #let me know if theres any here i didnt talk abt that u want to talk abt idk #and also sorry if none of these were to ur tastes LOL #lisette mumbles

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kingsshilling · 2 years

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okay stealing some q's from those posts but for both of the lads:

If they had a theme song, what would it be?

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

this got REALLYYYY long sorry oh my god so I’m gonna put it under a read more, thank you soooo so so much though I really, really loved answering these :]

If they had a theme song, what would it be?

THIS IS SO HARD!!!!!

I have a spotify playlist for songs I associate with the story (very very haphazard messy self indulgent and extremely unfinished, every song so far has been thrown in with no rhyme or rhythm beyond that it relates to the story somehow) but it’s so hard to choose just one for each of them...

Keeping in mind that I would probably change this answer at a moment’s notice if I had to choose JUST one for each right now (links go to youtube):

Éamonn: Night of the Swallow - Kate Bush

Give me a break!

Oh, let me try!

Give me something to show

For my miserable life!

Give me something to take!

Would you break even my wings

Like a swallow?

Bedwyr: Time - Pink Floyd

Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

but because I can’t actually choose just one... War Baby - Tom Robinson (the live acoustic version cus it has an extra verse that kills me) (to be interpreted with Bedwyr as the subject of the song rather than the narrator.. we know who the narrator would be)

AND the song which I consider The song for Éamonn and Bedwyr, The Chosen One - Bread (“I was the blues and you were my sunshine friend” “You are the sea and I am the sailor, riding the perfect wave, I could've drowned but you came around and saved me” AAAAAAAAGH)

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Bedwyr tries to be as patient as possible but if he was already in a bad mood to begin with it can be hard for him not to be sharp with people that are annoying him big time, for the most part he’ll make himself laugh it off but if someone he already has issues with is purposelly trying to get a rise out of him depending on the situation he might either tell them to fuck off or hit them a box lmfao. He’s not above apologising if he thinks he was in the wrong though and will feel bad if he doesn’t but again especially with someone he didn’t like to begin with he can be stubborn as a mule

Éamonn will just silently seethe KJDSNG it actually takes a fair bit for one person to really, really annoy him and piss him off but his usual method of dealing with it is just to get up and leave if there’s an opportunity to do so without making things worse, so he’ll usually just avoid people he dislikes if he can. He doesn’t have Bedwyr’s strength or stature so he doesn’t let himself lash out physically but he can and Will absolutely slaughter someone with his words if they get to him that badly, but also he’s fairly used to being slagged for numerous reasons so especially if he already has a few drinks in him if someone is purposely trying to vex him he might just openly laugh in their face cus he thinks it’s genuinely funny (which depending on the situation either makes them give up or makes it MUCH worse)

these ended up not really being especially specific to people they dislike JNDFJDNG but for the most part there isn’t really anyone they really don’t like no matter what (Kay is kinddd of that but it’s complicated for Bedwyr and Éamonn again just ignores/avoids him if he can, or finds his attempts at trying to get a rise out of him funny cus he’s already heard everything under the sun) and unless someone is purposely trying to cause harm they just get on with it like most anyone else and have a little complain about it later

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

MMMMM this is a very very interesting one.... I think Éamonn really just doesn’t think about it at all or tries not to at least. He’s not especially religious and wouldn’t have been going to mass much as an adult because he was nearly always at sea or otherwise just not able to but he does go occassionally... Naturally though being how he is he takes it all with a huge grain of salt

If you were to ask him directly he would give the easy and cynical answer of “hole in the ground bye” but I think he does believe in some form of an afterlife, he just doesn’t try to go into details about it and doesn’t really think it’s Worth spending much time thinking about it. For much of his teenage years & 20s he believed & had essentially accepted he would either be drowned at sea or just like be found dead in some port town away from home and maybe never be identified or mourned (whereas Bedwyr always had & was aware of the promise of a big family and community who’d look after him) so in terms of if death scares him... I’d say it doesn’t Really scare him so to speak but he doesn’t really like to think about it too deeply either

Bedwyr isn’t really very religious much the same as Éamonn and for many of the same reasons but he still goes to services regularly (more as a community thing than anything) and I think he definitely would’ve believed in the stereotypical image of heaven when he was younger but he kind of ended up a bit like Éamonn (just not to extreme an extent) in that he’s not as definite about how it would be. He still believes in an afterlife where you get to be reunited with your friends and loved ones (including animals lol) and believes in things like your loved ones looking down on you because that brings him a lot of comfort, in contrast with Éamonn who loathes the thought of anyone looking at him ever

Definitely when he was younger after witnessing the death of his father he would’ve been absolutely terrified of the thought and spent many many hours wondering about it all, but as he got older he came to accept it a bit more. He’s still a bit afraid of it but especially after meeting Éamonn and hearing his view of death as something not really worth worrying about because there’s nothing you can do to control it beyond keeping yourself healthy, it’s not something that really, really bothers him to the extent it used to anymore

thank you so much again for these!!! and sorry for the length JDGJJND I answered a lot of questions that weren’t actually here I think but hopefully my answers are somewhat interesting......

#bits and bobs #asks #éamonn #bedwyr

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