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gassydumbjocks · 2 months

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Filthy Animals

Shawn sighs trying to focus on his algebra book again to study as he hears all the noise coming from the living of the apartment he shared with his roommate.

He couldn't have any worse luck than living with the most sexist, grossest, filthiest, and DUMBEST guy he've ever met, Jaden was watching the football match with his bunch of good-for-nothing bros again, or apes, like Shawn liked to call them, filling the house with the obnoxious sound of their dumb laughs and bodily functions, Shawn swore he couldn't pass five minutes without hearing (or smelling, even from his room) a belch or fart those ogres would let out, and then giggle like toddlers cuz it was so much fun for them.

"BOOOOOUUUUURRRRRPPP" the jock lets a fat bassy belch out after drinking a whole can of beer "Woooh Broo! Hahaha, that was a fucking BEAST! ah?" He says joking with his slob peers as they all agreed while watching the game or commenting about the breast or butt from the cheerleader girls they were dating on.

It was already enough for him, as he made his way out of his room decided to confront him, he found him on the couch wearing nothing but his nasty underwear and a hand under it as he scratched his balls casually, Shawn grimaced.

"Y'all will never behave?! I can hear your disgusting noises from my room, You animals!" He said, almost red from rage, but Jaden simply letted a goofy laugh with the dumb smile and look he always had, same with his dudes.

"Lil bro, relax a bit, we're bonding as we men should do, you afraid to cut the cheese or what?" he smirked as he lifted one of his legs and pointed right at Shawn, he grunted and before the poor guy could do anything "Protein fart bomb!".

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!

The putrid stink of the protein combined with the beer and all that food he and his friends were eating hitted Shawn almost immediatly, making him gag and feeling nauseus, wanting to run to the bathroom and throw up, while Jaden was having a good laugh and fist bumping with his all his bros, some even responding with another fart just to bother Shawn more "Damn i fucking stained my briefs with that one hahaha" Jaden said smiling, and it was no joke as even Shawn could see the brown mark on them, horrifying him.

"Ewwww! STOP YOU BRUTE!" He covered his nose "You are an ANIMAL" he hissed giving him a killer look.

"What is your damn problem?" It was then when Jaden got done with his whines and looked at him "Why dont you fucking relax and start acting like a man? You could even join us if you wanted" He offered, for Shawn's surprise, but the nerd was so mad that he made a disgusted face at the idea of it.

"I wouldn't join a group of slobs without manners who only know how to think with their cocks and fart or belch non-stop like fucking pigs, You are so dumb that you cant even count past 10 or say your own names correctly!" He stated, The jocks made overexaggerated gasping sounds, seeming offended by it, Jaden just stared with a neutral expression, his 'you're dead already' look perforing him deeply. Shawn quite started to fear him once he lost his sudden dose of courage.

"We'll see who ends up being the animal here, lil bro" was all the jock said before focus on the game again, leaving Shawn with a bad feeling running throught his spine as he rushed back to his room.

"Idiot... He just wants to scare me" He said as he seated again in his chair to continue his studying for the rest of the night, A little worried tho, for Shawn he just said the truth, but he didn't know what the immature and stinky athlete could do to him, time after overthinking about it he decided go sleep, unaware of the plan the Jocks at the living were making in that moment.

During the next morning, Shawn woke up around 9 am, so he supposed Jaden would probably be at the gym before his training, he got out his room and walked to kitchen to have some breakfast, but to his surprise he was there, still in his undies as always when he was home , eating some brownies from a plate that was in the table, before smiling at the nerdy guy "Brodaah!, you want some of these? My girlfriend brought me brownies cuz she made some for the annual campus event tomorrow, but i can share" he said, as innocently as he could sound, Shawn narrowed his eyes at him and then at the brownies

"If you farted on them i swear i'll throw them to you" he threatened, Jaden rolled his eyes, grabbing another "Bro, grab some, i didn't put anything nor poisoned them, ya paranoid" He said "I left the white chocolate ones for you, i ate the rest"

The pale guy doubted for a sec, but then he thought that Jaden maybe couldn't even be that smart to think on something to ruin the food, he was the last of his class and his IQ didn't pass over 65.

He slowly extended his arm, and picked up a brownie, he sniffed it before "Smells a bit rare... What did she use to bake them?"

Jaden simply proceeded to shrug "they tasted good to me, just try one bruh! You wont regret" The jock said once again, Shawn looked at it unsure of what to do, after some eternal seconds, he sighed and finally bited the brownie, gulping it down his throat once finished

"Eh... Actually it wasn't so bad-" He got interrupted by a huge growl, coming from his deep gut in his stomach, he held it in pain with a hand, and somehow for some reason he started to feel a bit... Bloated.

"What the hell was in that?!" The nerdy guy looked in horror the taller jock, who just dedicated him an evilish and satisfied grin.

"You'll see, lets just wait it does its effect" He said, Shawn tried to run, but he couldn't move neither "This is bullsh-..SHIOOooOOOUUURRRRPP" a wet then deep and smelly belch made its way out of him out of nowhere, but instead of feeling ashamed, that burp seemed to take all the worry out of him and leaving him on a slacking and relaxed state.

"Cool haha" Jaden approached him, seeing the scrawny boy with a lost look standing there "Now we can start... Where should we... You said we were animals, but what if i tell you you are one too? Man, you even smell worse than me, just sniff your pits!"

Shawn proceed to lift his arm and sniff deeply, he showered daily, but now his armpits immediatly took a fetid and rank odor that could make even the strongest faint.

"And you also said we dont have manners, remember? You dumbass, we both know your fumes are deadly, you love to let it rip bruh hahaha"

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!

That blast made Shawn's pants vibrate at the bass from that fart, with each gas he letted out, his expression seemed more and more relaxed and drool scaped from his lips.

"You forgot you are such a dumb jock" Shawn made a goofy laugh at that as he scratched his butt.

"Such a dumb and gross jock"

"BOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUURRRRRRP" was Shawn's response this time.

"You truly are an animal, dude, so dumb and filthy i cant imagine how you are even able to talk haha"

"Du... Dumb hahaha" A new deep voice came out of his throat, and then he belched again before grinning stupidly.

"Oh and, for the record" he made a pause "I did farted on those brownies, but just yours man, and Bryan could possibly rubbed them in his ass... And Wesley maybe burped on them too, i dunno, just enjoy the extra flavor haha"

Shawn never felt more dizzy or dazed in all his life, not that it mattered now tho, his life now was being a hot dumb and smelly jock, blasting burps and farts as if it was his own breath, it felt good to be dumb, it felt good to act like a man.

#male burp #male farts #iq loss #macho #dumbing down #male tf #alpha man

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missbunnybunny · 1 year

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Hide & seek

141 + könig x gen z member

A/N: Readers goes by the code name Widow in my writing. Along with she/her pronounces. I am biased with König and Ghost but for this story, König and her are the main pair. The reader is Latina, I'll use Spanish more in the next story. I know 0% about the military, I'll do my research and try my best. Am not good at writing at all just saying.

Minors do not interact!

CWs: Dark Humor, Age gaps, simping, crude Humor, cursing, might forget some but if I do lmk. I can't spell right for the life of me, my bad. This is a long read sorry.

" This is going to be fun" ghost turns to his side where the giggling voice said. Looking at the shorter girl to his right. " what did ya do?" He asked in a serious matter-of-fact tone.

"Huh I didn't do anything..yet," you said pouting, the last part coming out as a whisper. Hoping he wouldn't hear, but he heard you.

Ghost frowned and said in a more worried full tone " Widow, you didn' burn some shit up again'. Right?"

You looked up and gasped offended by his comment. You almost burn down the entire kitchen ONCE!, while trying to cook. One time was enough to get you banned from touching the stove, and you now need a babysitter to make sure you don't do somethin' stupid😒.

Soap walked up behind you and said " His right, you know lass." Scaring the living shit out of you. Turning around whit a pale face and slightly shaking. You hit soap on his arm saying " don' ever do that to ME."

Soap laughed loudly amused at your terrified look. Ghost sighed and shook his head, telling soap to stop scaring you half to death.

Captain price's voice came booming into the room. He walked along with Gaz, Gaz waved to you and you did the same.

"all right now that everyone is here, I have two announcements. First, we have a new team member. He will be arriving in 10. And lastly, it was widows turn to choose a training exercise."

Widow smiled widely, ghost stared a hole at her head, as he looked down at her. Soap looked pale and as for gaz, he was trying to hold his laugh.

Ghost finally spoke, breaking the long dead silent " Kid..What.did.You.do?" His deep timber voice said in a commanding tone.

Slowly backing away from the tall masked man and talking slowly" I might have asked...to play hide and seek. An' captain agreed😅" as you said the last part as you ran to hide behind Gaz.

Soap was trying to hold ghost back from giving you a verbal beatdown. " big bro, hide me" you told gaz giggling. Everyone on squad 141 was your family, and gaz and soap always hit you like the big brother type.

Ghost broke free and soap put his hands up when you looked at him. " sorry, did all I could" he stated while smiling. Running away from the tall man you yelled at soap " YOU LYING BASTARD, YOU LET GO." Ghost closed in on you as you stared at the older men, looking side by side for an escape.

To everyone, this was a normal occurrence. The scene was like a parent scolding their child for their Wrongdoings. Funny but for the receiving party it was like looking into deaths door. I mean you had the ghost, death was the next right option.

Before ghost could scold Widow a *HUMVEE pulled up. The only thing on everyone's mind was ' Widow got lucky this time'.

Squad 141 all stood in a line waiting for the new addition to the team. Altho it just looked like gaz, soap, and Ghost were the only ones in the line. Widow looked so small compared to all of them that they practically hide her by accident.

Price looked straight ahead as a very tall figure came out of the HUMVEE (High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle.). He had to duck down as to not hit his head, once he was fully out it was like looking at a big, but like a Big bear.

Price extended his hand to shake them with the tall man, after some small talk price turned around to face the group. " Alright everyone, this is könig. He will be with us from now on." The captain said.

Everyone started to introduce themselves " your' pretty tall ain't ya. Am soap, let's get along" soap stated. " nice to meet you." Gaz said shaking könig's hand.

König walked to the next person in line which should have been Widow, but he couldn't see her and so he walked to ghost.

Price notice it and walked a little closer, after a little while he finally realized what happened. " Gaz, Ghost please step aside your hiding Widow," he said shaking his head while taking a cigar out.

Ghost and Gaz looked to their side and realized that they in fact hide the small woman from view. " sorry Widow." Gaz said "sorry, kid," ghost said. As they finally move aside. " hello, am Widow. It's nice to meet you könig." Widow said almost shyly.

Widow extended her hand and Shook his hand. König and Widow had off the bat one thing in common nervousness and social anxiety around new people.

But after some small talk, widow would warm up to you, after getting to know you of course. Lastly, it was ghost's turn. Ghost shook his hand and said, " welcome to the unit".

After some time price spoke up " alright everyone get in the HUMVEE, will be going to the training site." Berugently everyone got into the viechle, price explained to könig what was going on. To which the tall man asked " hide &seek?" he asked confusedly. Hearing his voice for the first time gave you chills, not scared chills but a thrilled chill that just set a fire in you.

Gaz said it was widows idea and to be prepared for hell. " When it comes to this Exercise, widow doesn't hold back" price stated. After a comfortable silence, they finally made it to the training site.

" Widow can you explain how we play hide and seek" price said still smoking his cigar. "Okey. The way we play hide and seek is like a manhunt. Everyone has 10 mins to get a paintball gun and find a spot. After the 10 mins are up, I will get into possession. You have an hour and a half to find me before I snipe you all down. The last still standing or the first to kill me wins."

You said happily this is in fact your favorite training exercise. Ghost hates it because it hurts like a motherfucker, soap doesn't like it cuz it's hard to get the paint off. And as for gaz he quite enjoys the exercise. Except when he gets hit on the back of the head.

" alright get your weapons boys, " captain price said. He asked könig if he wanted to participate to which the man nodded, in response.

After everyone was set in their positions, captain price said that they had an extra 5 minutes. Widow was still looking for just the right gun, and she found it. A 468 PTR BLACK KING BOLT ACTION DMR SNIPER PAINTBALL GUN.

After the 5 minutes, Widow was ready for the hunt. " you ready kid." Asked price. You gave him a smile with a thumbs up 👍🏼. " yeah, it's demon time finna hut some bitches".

Being small had its ups and downs, but in this situation, it was your biggest advantage. So many hiding places, after surveying your surroundings you found the best place to hide.

A big tree had fallen and since it was surrounded by bushes the roots were well-covered. After making sure that no one was there you gave the word. The hunt was on and the boys now had an hour and a half to hunt you down.

After what felt like forever ( ten minutes or so 🙄) you spotted your right prey. Soap was surveying the area with his gun and reporting back. He was doing a good job, every sound had him looking around and making sure that it wasn't you.

Staying still as humanly possible you Held your breath, the closer he got the more your trigger finger inched. The need to pull the trigger was strong, like an addiction. You needed to wait for the right moment, 20 feet, 15 feet, 10 feet, 5 feet. Perfect -BANG- the sound of hitting your target dead center in the chest.

It was heavenly, Almost euphoric. Hearing cuz in his native language was all the better. " Sleekit, Bastart." ( sneaky bastard) the Scots man said. Then he yelled hit.

Now that your spot was given out you had to move, slowly walking deeper into the forest where the vines grow long and in numbers.

After stopping and crouching at the smallest sounds in fear of getting killed you come to a stop. Right in front of you was quite a beautiful site, a willow tree with low-hanging branches.

Perfect for climbing and most of all hiding, an Eagles eye view. After making sure the boys hadn't been there or around it you climb the tree.

From your communication earpiece, price spoke " first kill soap, 3 remain." Looking Throw your scope, checking to see your, next victim. You spotted Gaz and Ghost doing a swipe, könig nowhere to be seen.

Gaz was the clearest target after he moved from his hiding place from behind a tree. " just a lil closer, come on" you said under your breath. Gaz moved slightly to the right and at that moment you pulled the trigger.

"Well look who's getting sniped at the back of the head." You chuckled, watching as the said man got hit. You wanted to stand up and scream " I like your cut g" so badly but couldn't.

"Damn it" Gaz said angrily throwing his hands up and yelling hit. As you went to find the masked skull man, you found that he was living up to his name. Man's become a real ghost and ghosted you as fast as you pulled the trigger.

Now könig and Ghost were the last men standing. After what felt like forever searching for the tall guys you heard a Crunch from under you. You Stiffened, Your heart was beating fast and loud in your chest and ears. Ghost was under you looking around trying to find you.

You always wondered how such a tall man could move so fast without making the slightest noises. You felt like you were being hunted by a vicious beast, hoping he wouldn't look up you slowly pulled out your gun. Stopping every time he moved, you aligned your gun at him, put your finger on the trigger.

Just as you were about to pull the trigger he looked up, dead eyes looking straight at you. Your heart stopped and you thought that for a second you soul left your body.

He moved to bring his gun up at you, that snaped you out of your dice. Pulling the trigger and hitting him on the shoulder, your breathing was heavy. You felt so out of breath that you might get dizzy.

Ghost stared at you for a moment. Looking at the terrified look you had, he shoke his head and called out hit. " sorry for Scaring ya doll" he said to you.

Captain price called out again " 20 minutes left, last man standing is könig." He said.

You were still thinking that if this was a real battle Ghost would have slattered you without a second thought. You where so in your thoughts that you didn't notice könig under you.

You where sitting with your back the tree. Looking straigh ahead, only snaping out of it when you felt something on your leg.

Wide-eyed you looked straight into königs hooded eyes, before you could even grab your snipe. You were heading straight to the ground, landing back first. That shit hurt like a bitch.

König stood over you pulling his gun out, quickly getting on your feet. Slightly whining from the pain in your right foot.

You ran with your hand gun in hand, looking for a place to hide. But sadly the hope was short lived.

You looked behind you to see königs arm streched out a second later you where caught and on the ground.

The mountain of man Sat on top of you, Pining your arms above your head with his big hand. You tried to wiggle out but the more you struggle the tighter his while became.

He pulled his gun out and shot you in the stomach. You whined, the sound almost coming off erotic. Getting shot by a paintball close-range hurt like a motherfuckering bitch.

König let go of your hands and got off of you. With teary eyes and shaking hand, you pressed your earpiece " Am hit" you Stated.

Everyone back at the entrance was expecting you to loudly yell " I win ya old bitches. Kiss my ass " like you usually would. But instead, you called to admit your defeat.

You sounded out of breath and in pain. They waited for you and könig to come out.

König extended his hand out to you, you took it with a shaky smile. You stood up and König let go of your hand. The warmth of his hand on yours was immediately missed. König turned around to walk off, you took a step forward and began to fall. König turned around just in time to stop your face and the ground from having a meeting.

" Are you okay, Maus" (mouse) he asked. His voice was low and worried, it sounded like honey. You were starting to get addicted to his voice, only after meeting him hours ago.

You shook your head negatively, " I think I Sprain my ankle" you told him. "sorry" könig said. You told him that it was okay and that you had fun. You really did.

He said sorry again and He picked you up, carried you bridle-style. Your face was 50 shades of red, you felt like you could explode at any moment.

As he carried you, you sank deeper into his arms feeling his warm embrace comforting. Tho it was making you sleepy. As you came to the entrance ghost was the first to speak. "Widow, you okay?" Ghost asked looking at you in the tall man's arms.

You smiled and told him " yup, am Gucci. Just fucked up my ankle while running." You told the older man, while he stared daggers into poor könig. To which König nodded his head in agreement.

Ghost looked at you again and asked " ya sleepy?". Almost Immediately you responded with a yes. Everyone chuckled it was so like you to get sleepy when you finished a mission or any work. " yup totally Widow" was going around everyone's mind.

It was lights out immediately, "am gonna take a lil nap, night every...one " and just like that you fell asleep in königs arms.

Ghost looked at könig and told him "sorry mate, ya gonna have to carry her until we get to the base. She would kill ya if ya wake her up. In her word, she turns into an angry Grimling." Ghost walked off to the HUMVEE.

Soap patted the tall Man's back giving him a thumbs up " good luck" and off he was. Gaz only shook his head and told könig "come on, I'll get the door for ya".

König sat in the HUMVEE with an asleep Widow in his arms, she was holding him like a koala. As König looked down at her, he thought to himself " This isn't so bad." The tall man smiled under his hood, it was like heaven having her in his arms. And 141 was a nice addition to the whole deal.

"Sweet dreams, my little maus" könig whispered to the sleeping woman. Squad 141 was about to get interesting. A hyper Widow and the silent man könig, wonder how it all will turn out.

Ight am going back to hibernating until I wake up again. Peace out everyone 🫥✌🏽

#könig cod #könig x reader #cod x reader #gen z shit #ghost call of duty #soap mctavish #gaz cod #cod price #long post #Widow🕷

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posallys · 4 months

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ok 1 ur desktop theme is GORG and 2 i need (if u wanna) ur thoughts about the show (or show sally in gen bc ur the only one i trust with her)

thank you!! i was actually thinking about updating it but maybe i wont 🤭🤭 and i have a lot of thoughts about the show except none only very few of them are good and i will be crucified by the 13-year-olds

im going to tell you anyway.

i will start with something i like....percy being angry. like yes give me the anger of a 12 year old who feels utterly alone in the world and doesn't understand (or does and it makes him more angry)

the fight scenes are dog shit. the only kind of cool one was in the arch but it was only cool because of percy doing the bait and switch and falling through the arch...the fights are bland boring sucky whatever other synonym you wanna use

uhhhhh sally jackson is not and would never be sitting in the rain pining of the god she told to leave....and especially not to teen pop...if she WERE going to act like a 16 year old and do the pining thing it would be to fucking like...billy joel and ricky martin and donny hathaway and stuff llike that okay...

i will preface this by saying that yes i understand that talking back to an abuser the way sally does in ep 1 doesn't make the abuse less abusive....however i DO not like the fact that that scene explicitly goes against sally characterization in the books....i am not digging my book out atm but the part where percy is like "my mother has never raised her voice or said an unkind word to anyone"....me thinks the writers all read the books 10 years ago and are going off of memory alone + or their brains are so clouded by the obsessive Big Screen Need to make women a badass girlboss slay queen i fucking hate it here

LET ANNABETH BE SILLY AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND CRY AND NOT BE AN ADULT THANK YOU....hated that they made annabeth the one to realize that it was medusa and not grover...give me back grover having to wrangle percy and annabeth into backpack leashes just to keep them on task/stop them from wandering off...book trio i miss you

i absolutely ADORE leah, walker, and aryan though the three of them are so so perfect, A+ casting no notes couldn't have done it better myself. if it weren't for the three of them i would have zero hope for the show i cannot lie...they're carrying. without them it's just..bad.

the pacing???? bad.

why did we waste half of the 4th ep on the train with echidna...stupid dumb pointless i hate it here

i do like the whole not all monsters are monsters and the gods aren't inherently good just because they're gods thing they've got going on though...very inch resting...silently hoping that they do a complete 180 and have percy side with luke and redo the series from there because that would be iconic as fuck <3 a girl can dream because at least then i could take the show at face value and not take 80 health damage every time they mess up a key part of the books...im at -29834 heath rn.

where was the time at chb before the quest??? the oh so important vital scene where luke teaches percy to sword fight???? like BRO that's soooooooooooo important to ME how could you get rid of that

not having annabeth show percy around camp

additionally, not having annabeth feed him the nectar and ambrosia, WHICH BY THE WAY they haven't even mentioned in the show yet...plot armor gone rip

not the fredrick chase sympathy while simultaniously blaming the woman...........rick when i get my hands on you...

annabeth having to EARN thalia's love??? absolutely not probably one of their biggest fuck ups fr.

the scene where sally is talking about Poseidon to percy...i do not like it sam i am. bad. not wistful enough not longing enough not sad enough not gut wrenching enough...also not completely here for sally telling percy that his dad was a god because....sallys whole thing was NOT telling him in order to keep him safe...i know they changed it in the show so sally knew he was going to camp immediately but that does not mean i have to like it

the scene with sally and percy in the pool. i hated everything about that. sally would never talk to percy like that never talk to him about money never make it seem embarassing NOT TO MENTION that percy simply wasn't scared of the water. that's stupid as fuck. theres a part in the book where percy literally says being by the water calms both him and his mom like...come the fuck on just admit you can't fucking read or at least didn't read the book.

sally annabeth get behind me so they cant hurt you anymore

i did loveeeee percy praying to sally though...absoutely insane and true of them. also the "I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" yesss baby you tell them about your mommy!!!!!!

them making athena moa level bad in tlt is quite interesting. setting up annabeth siding with percy pretty well.

also the whole impertinence thing over medusa's head was weird to me. when annabeth first said that i had immediately thought that annabeth's impertinence was telling percy to pray to poseidon IN ATHENA'S TEMPLE bc that made much more sense to me...but whatever

the annabeth/medusa parallel is intriguing at the very least

the underwater scene with the neraid was cool even though i hated the parallel to the pool scene w/ sally.

the dumbass pinecone fate line. 0/10 did you read the book? did you pay attention to how empathetic and reflective percy was when he found out about thalia?

honestly....i think disney was just the wrong place to go with this show because it's like what...pg? it should be pg 13 and should have more... sustenance.

this medusa was so cool though. which we could've seen a fight.

i need to know how many women are in the writer's room though...because It Does Not Look Good. funny how the characters that they're fucking up are all women....crazy. weird. totally coincidental.

are we just not going to talk about the vitality and pressure of getting the bolt back on time? where is the inherent inevitable danger, the suspense, the fear of not accomplishing a seemingly impossible talk looming over everything

this is 10000% not all of my thoughts but im not going to rewatch in order to collect them all so this is what you get xoxox

#taylor answers #ask tag #anon #pjo tv #pjo tv crit #pjo show #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson

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v0idim · 4 months

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Small lul one shot of smoker geto and gojo with reader 🫣 Artist ogata69

Late night sinners

Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

!One shot TW Smoking!

Late at night, Gojo finds you and Geto hanging out in your dorm. Eventually it leads to a hot make out session and smoking.

They were hanging out in her dorm one night after training. Geto laid in her bed as music played softly in the back.

“Have you ever smoked before?”

She turns to him, looking at him with confusion as he asked her a simple question.

“Why are you asking.”

“Because you seem like the type to smoke on the low.”

Geto sits straight up as he heard her shuffle around her room looking for something. A knock interrupted her search, bringing both the adolescents attention towards the door.

“Yo suguru, it’s late why are you still in here man?” The lanky white haired man walked through the door.

“I’m too lazy to get up and go back to my dorm.” Gojo walked towards Geto, taking a seat on the bed. “I was just asking her if she smoked.”

“She’s a dweeb she probably doesn’t” Gojo said with a low chuckle

“Satoru you don’t know me that well.” She brought out an elf bar that was hidden in her drawers. Taking a long hit before passing it to Geto.

“Called it, you owe me 10$ Satoru.” Geto pulled his hand out of his hoodies pocket, placing it in front of Gojo. Gojo took out his wallet and Handed Geto the money. He grabbed the money before moving his hand infront of her taking the nic out of her hands. “Watch this cool trick I learned.” He puffed out a perfect ring before puffing a smaller ring through it.

“Dawg that’s weak. I could do better.” Satoru grabbed the nic out of His hand putting it up to his lips and took a small hit. “Y/n come here let me try something.” She cautiously approached the white haired man.

“Girl you better not do no weird shit.” Gojo let out a sigh before placing the elf bar between the girls breast. “Where’s the consent? Don’t you have any manners?” Gojo grabbed her body, guiding her so she could be right in front of him. Now facing her breast.

“Can I?”

“Ugh sure go ahead.” He took a long hit before grabbing her chin bring her face down in front of him. Leaning into her face and puffing out the smoke into her mouth. She inhaled the smoke before smacking Gojo in the shoulder. “You’re so weird bro.”

“My turn” Geto pulled her over in front of him, doing the same satoru did only instead of it being a small kiss. He continued the kiss, slowly turning it into a make out session. His tongue exploring her mouth. Force brought her body back towards the other man.

“Not fair man, you gotta share with me too.” Gojo grabbed her by the back of her neck. Forcing her into a hot and hungry kiss. She pulled away after a little.

“I am not becoming one of you guys whores.” She laid down in the bed.

“You could if you want to mami.” Both men said in unison before bursting out in laughter. Looking at her seductively.

“Out now.” She pushed the men out of her bed.

“Come on, we know you like it.” Gojo got on his knees, his blue eyes making strong contact with her E/c eyes.

“Nope, bye.” They groaned dragging their legs out of the Girls room. She locked the door after they left. Sliding back in bed before putting her hand on her sensitive clit, quietly mumbling to herself “I swear they’re going to be the death of me.”

#gojo satoru #geto suguru #geto x reader #gojo x reader #gojo and geto #jjk satoru #jjk x reader #jjk geto #x reader #Voidimwrites #voidimwrites

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naviaknell777 · 9 months

Note

Hello again! (Gosh am requesting a lot)

Can i please request rottmnt of leo x little sister!mutant turtle! reader?

Request type: fic, comedy, platonic, happy ending.

Plot: the story is about reader who's about 10 years old, of course she's rarely allowed to get out of lair due to her age and her begin weak but god she have such sonic energy, she can't stop running, jumping..etc.

So it's obvious on patrols the brothers have to leave someone behind to babysit her & it's leo's turn, leo was understatementing babysit job as he put reader in living room to watch mlp and went to his room to read a comic book, time pass & he went to check on reader only for her to vanish, leo panic as he go get the baby tracker Donnie made for reader & he found out she's outside the lair.

So leo's job is to find reader, get her back home before his brothers find out or he won't hear the end of it from raph especially.

“Babysitting”

ROTTMNT - Leo x little sister! Reader

Notes: not proof read, and might have made it unintentionally a bit angstier than I hoped hehe. Enjoy!

“Okay, Leo, it’s your turn to babysit,” Donnie said as he played around with the tech screen projected from his armband, using it to investigate further about the wild mutant activity going on upstate.

“Oh, sure, I’ll babysit” Leo started, inching a bit closer to Donnie “But if you three get pizza afterward without me - I mean us… We won’t be happy turtles.”

“Yeah! I’ll beat you all up!” Y/N exclaimed, jumping to the conversation and now standing next to Leo.

“Uh-huh, sure, okay” Donnie mumbles, still focusing on his tech. Y/N reached up and tugged on the long ends of Leo’s mask, pulling on it to get his attention. When he looked down at her, she smiled, latching onto him and climbing up his form, pulling herself on him and climbing up to sit on the top of his blue shell.

Leo sighed, “I feel like you’ve been getting more and more rambunctious lately, [nickname]”

“Nah, I’m just growing taller” She replied.

“My calculations say at this rate she’ll be as tall as Raph when she gets around our age… but regardless, we should get going,” Donnie said, his tech screen dissipating and looking to Raph and Mikey so they can start heading out.

“Haha, I’ll be taller than you when I’m your age, Leo, you’re such a loser!” Y/N teased, letting go of Leo and falling backward onto the floor.

“Also, don’t forget to set an alarm for 8, Leo, she’s gonna need to eat by then and -“ Raph started.

“She can’t remember for herself?” Leo asked.

“Nope!” Y/N answered “Too lazy, and I don’t have a phone yet”

“Oh, and Y/N!” Mikey rushed over to Y/N, grabbing her face “do not watch the ending of season three without me, I have a sense It’ll be really good, okay? Or else I will not be a happy turtle.” Y/N simply nodded, feeling a shiver down her spine.

“Okay, see ya!” Mikey headed towards the sewer exit first, followed by Raph.

Donnie turned to Leo, “Remember to not let her on the surface, okay? The last thing she needs is to get hurt” He headed out as well.

“Pfft, Donnie can be such a stick sometimes, I know you won’t go above to the surface, especially without me, right, [nickname]?” Leo turned to Y/N.

“Well… Why can’t I go out again?” Y/N mumbled, focusing on playing with her fingers as she now said cross on the floor.

Leo sat next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, “You’re too young to go by yourself, Y/N… you haven’t had as much training as us, if something bad happens, you won’t be able to hold your own… you know? It’d just be better if you don’t go into the city with us in the first place.”

Y/N continued to look down and just nodded, “Yeah, I get it, that makes sense.”

“Great!” Leo stood up, “Now if you excuse me, I got some reading to catch up on, [nickname]”

“Huh? You’re not gonna hang out with me?” Y/N, looked up at Leo as if the tender moment between them hadn’t happened. ‘Does he really not care…or does he not know what he just said to me?’

“Well, now that the bros aren’t here it gives me some quiet time to read the Jupiter Jim special edition issue where he fights laser unicorns on Pluto! But don't worry, I’ll be sure to hang out with you later tonight, okay? I gotta come out here to make you food anyway” He said, walking towards his room with his hands behind his head.

Y/N nodded, getting up and wiping away some loose tears she tried to hold back, “Okay, that makes sense.. I’ll just watch some My Little Pony then”

“Sounds good, [nickname]!” Leo said dismissively as he locked himself away in his room. Y/N stood up, attempting to swallow away the knot in her throat that was getting tighter. She walks over to the recliner that Splinter was sleeping on, puts the My Little Pony DVDs in, and projects it on the white screen. She sat next to her father’s chair, hugging herself as she sighed, and pressed play.

. . .

Leo grumbled when he heard his alarm for making food for Y/N go off, pulling away the Jupiter Jim comic that was on top of his phone and stopping the alarm. “Okay, time to feed the rascal…” he mumbled, taking off his blanket and leaving his room to the kitchen.

He prepared some frozen pasta in the run-down microwave, food stains, and splatters covering the appliance inside and out. “I’m making some leftover pasta for you, [nickname], Don’t complain about it, 'cause I think it’s the last edible thing in the kitchen” He yelled towards the living room, still facing the microwave as it headed up the frozen dish. He then opened the utensil drawer, “Now, do you want the big fork or the small fork? I know you love your small forks, but they’re all in the sink and I don’t feel like doing the dishes, and it's faster to eat it with a regular-sized fork, right?" He turned around and made his way to the living room,

“Heard what I said? [nickname]?” He didn’t see her anywhere. He looked around for her in the living room where My Little Pony was still playing.

“Tell me that my friends are lying to me and avoiding me because they don’t like my parties and they don’t want to be my friends anymore!” A pink character said on screen that took his attention for a second, growing a bit more tense as he continued his search for Y/N. He checked her room, and all of her brother's rooms, and reluctantly, he checked the sewer opening, seeing it left ajar a bit.

Leo smacked himself in the face, “Why’d she have to go up there of all places! Ugh if Raph finds out…” He races towards his room, getting the emergency tracker that Donnie had made previously in case of emergencies. He checked the tracker, “Where… where is that…?” He looked at the tracker, turning it upside-down and reading the text of Y/N’s location “New Jersey?! How’d she manage to get all the way to New Jersey already?”

. . .

In reality, following the train system, it was only a thirty-minute ride to a university in New Jersey, but Y/N was on the move. She jumped from building to building, albeit a bit clumsily.

“Ah, that wind feels so nice! Ah, and the stars are so pretty!” Y/N said to herself, continuing to run and smile in the process, feeling freer than ever before - the feeling on the concrete on her feet, the wind in her face, the refreshing cool spring air in her face. She stopped on the last building of the block, looking up at the stray stars that peeked through the city smog.

She took a seat at the edge of the building, tightening her loose mask and looking up to the stars. “If only Leo could enjoy this with me…”

“Why didn’t you just say that? That way I didn’t have to go on this wild goose chase to find you, Y/N!” Leo yelled from across the building, trying to catch his breath. Y/N turned around, tensing a bit seeing Leo sweaty and tired from trying to find her, seeing him hold the black device with a purple screen that was glowing light.

“What? You tracked me or something, Leo?” She said.

“You left without telling me”

“You were sleeping!”

“That doesn’t matter, Y/N!”

“You would’ve gotten mad at me for wanting to go outside the lair…”

“I wouldn’t have, I promise. But you know the rules-“

“I don’t like the rules”

“They’re there for your safety, Y/N! You’re not strong enough yet, we-“

“But I made it here all by myself and I’m fine! You guys just…” Y/N sighed and took a seat, legs dangling over the edge of the building again. Leo walked over to her, sitting down next to her. “I feel like you guys make me seem weaker than I am… I can do things too, like cook for myself, go out, at least with you guys…”

“We don’t let you cook because with your speed you spill everything, make a mess, and put a fork in the microwave”

“You guys didn’t tell me it would explode! And you leave all your dishes out for bugs to lick at, you’re messy too!”

“…okay well to be fair I didn’t make that rule, Raph did.”

“And I don’t like that Raph won’t let me do easy things, like using the vacuum and stuff!”

“I think he’s worried you’ll explode that too… we could barely afford a new microwave, [nickname]”

“Yeah… but, like, you guys don’t trust me with things. Or myself. It makes me, um…” Y/N started growing a bit more nervous, the knot in her throat coming back, preventing her from speaking.

“Sad? Is that what you mean?” Leo asked. Y/N nodded. Leo wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in a tight hug, and she soon returned it, her eyes watering a bit.

“I’m… sorry, Y/N. I suppose we’ve just seen you as our baby sister for too long.. You’re growing up… and literally, too, I sure hope you don’t end up being as tall as Raph, that’s a bit scary to imagine. Regardless, I’m sorry… Why don’t we go home and talk about this with our brothers, okay? I suppose the rest of them, including Raph, need to realize that you’re out a baby anymore. Does that sound okay?”

His sister nodded, and slowly let go of the hug. Leo gave her a soft smile, wiping away the stray tears on her cheeks.

“Let’s go home, yeah? Before our brothers find out you snuck out, especially Raph… He’ll go bananas. It’s a long way home… I’m actually proud that you managed to get here by yourself without getting hurt, and I saw you running, I’m impressed how fast you are! How did you find your way all the way to New Jersey anyway?” He asked, standing up and taking Y/N’s hand in his.

She signed to him as they journeyed home, “I just followed where my heart took me.”

——

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ramspatula · 6 months

Text

Carnations | Cole BrookStone x reader Part 3

Ghosts are real. I know because my best friend told me I speak to them.

“Good morning, beautiful.” I heard Cole’s voice sound. Way too bright and cheerful for 8 in the morning.

“Nothing about me is beautiful right now- How’d you know I was on the early shift?” I said instead of greeting him back.

“Didn’t. Lloyd- my lil bro -sent me in here to get us all some protein before- y’know what? Doesn’t matter. What you got for me, sugar?” He asked and I frowned.

“Does it run in your family to have endless nicknames?” I asked and he smiled.

“How many protein bars do you want?” I asked and he thought to himself for a moment before beginning to count on his fingers.

“Well there’s 6 of us so…. 30.” He said and my eyes widened.

“5 each?” I said and he looked up in thought before nodding, it took me a moment to figure out that he was figuring out 30 divided by 6.

“I’m not sure that’s enough….” My eyes widened more.

“Wow, you guys sure are a hungry bunch.” I picked up my phone and messaged Peach

‘Damn, do you know how much your man eats?’ - read 8:04am

‘A lot’ - sent 8.04am

“Are you shit messaging your best friend?” Cole asked, tryna peek over my phone.

“No I’m letting her know what her boyfriend is up to. Didn’t know you were that close to Lloyd.” I told him and he frowned.

“Lloyd’s my brother. I live with him and trained him when he was younger.” Cole told me and I nodded.

“Want anything else?”

“You.”

“Get out.” I told him, deadpan. He gave me the ick.

“Okay, okay. I’ll do this properly then. I’ve given you flowers, I’m clearly very interested in you. Do you feel the same, mama?” He said and I cringed.

“Try again.”

“Do you feel the same about me, Y/n?” He said and I smiled.

“I-“

“Cole hurry up! I’m starting to get hangry and Nia’s got period cramps so don’t forget the painkillers!” Some ginger guy yelled into the little corner shop and I frowned.

“Who in the fuck-“

“Jay. My other brother, Nia is his girlfriend. Can I get some pills as well please.”

“That’s $13.50.” I said and he frowned.

“The painkillers-“

“Free. Cramps make me wanna die.” I said and he smiled.

“You’re amazing, Y/n.” He said and I smiled, walking towards the door.

“Cole!” I yelled and he turned around, he almost looked innocent despite his massive figure.

“Meet me at Chen’s noodles tonight at 8.” I told him and he nodded, smile bright.

“Yes mam- ow-! I’ll be there.” I cringed as he wacked his head into the top of the door before leaning down slightly to avoid it happening again and leaving. He was tall as fuck.

0:57 ————|——— -2:10

“I might scream…” Peach held a hand over her mouth.

“I need to wash my hair.” I told her.

“Are you straightening it?” She asked and I shrugged.

“Not sure if I’m bothered.” I said and Peach followed me towards the bathroom.

“Use the expensive shit. My treat.” She said and and I frowned.

“Lloyd uses it?!” I pointed out.

“Yeah he bought it! You don’t think that Prince Charming do was kept that way with Head & Shoulders did you?” She gasped and I threw my towel at her.

“You can get him to do anything, can’t you?” I asked and she winked. “Did you know Cole’s brother was Lloyd?” I asked and she frowned.

“Of course. They’re not blood related. That’s what that whole group does though. They’re all brother and sister and shit. Lloyd’s Uncle always says “brother sharpens brother.” Or something like that.” Peach explained and I nodded.

“Is that weird?” I asked and she contemplated it.

“I feel like I shouldn’t say anything.” She said and I nodded again.

“Kai wasn’t kidding when he said Lloyd has barely a handful of friends.” I said and her face fell.

“He said what?” She asked and I paused in my movements.

“Allegedly.” I added and she huffed.

“Kai’s not exactly Mr Popular either, it took him going to a whole other island to find Skylor and well… she’s something herself. Do you know she’s more a part of their group than me?!” Peach bursted out and I looked around, confused.

“What?! How?!” She shook her head and nodded towards me.

“You’ll see.” She just said and left the bathroom.

“What?” I said to myself, confused.

0:57 ————|——— -2:10

It’s 8:15. Cole was supposed to be here 15 mins ago.

‘He’s still not here.’ -read 8:16pm

‘Just wait a couple more minutes and I’ll pick you up if he’s not there by 8:30’ -sent 8:16

“Fuck this.” I said going to stand up but Skylor appeared in front of me.

“Hey! I thought I saw you walk in!” She said. What? 20 mins ago?

“Oh wow. I didn’t see you.” I said, forced smile. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk with my ex-hookup’s girlfriend. She already made it clear she didn’t think the best of me.

“Yeah I was in the back. My father actually left this place to me awhile back now.” She said and I nodded.

“I didn’t know he passed, sorry.” I said, taking a sip of my drink. “I didn’t know you owned this either. No wonder Kai always wants to eat here.” I said and she laughed.

“Yeah he’s my biggest regular. Those guys eat so much! Cole especially.” She said and I nodded.

“I don’t think he’s very hungry today.” I said she frowned before realising.

“Oh my god! Were you supposed to meet him here?” She asked and I nodded.

“Oh wow. Work must’ve called him in. Lloyd has all those guys on a tight rota.” She said and I nodded.

“Peach said Lloyd was staying round ours this weekend- or was supposed to. She’s not gonna be happy.” I said, standing up. Skylor frowned.

“I don’t really see much of Peach anymore… are her and Lloyd okay?” I frowned. They’ve never been so close. “I mean me and the boys know Peach isn’t very… friendly.” Peach is the definition of friendly. “Not very warming, y’know what I mean?” She said and my face hardened.

“No.” I said and she immediately went onto her back foot. “Peach is extremely friendly. She talks to anyone- maybe you just don’t make her feel very comfortable.” I said, getting defensive.

“Oh… we always try to include her just she seems very removed and Lloyd is always coming to yours. I guess to us it just seems like he’s putting more effort into her than she is him.” I’m gonna hit her.

“Mm. Well that’s definitely not the case from my angle. Seeming how stressed Lloyd always is when he comes to ours and how quickly he de-stresses when he gets there. Maybe you’re the problem. I bet you can’t even tell me one time you’ve had an actual conversation with her giving how inaccurate this version of Peach sounds.”

“I can see why Cole hasn’t shown up now and why Kai doesn’t want you anymore. I wouldn’t want to be with someone so aggressive either.” I saw a hand tap her shoulder and she turned to face Peach.

“Oh-hey?” Skylor said, alarmed. “I haven’t seen or heard from you in forever.” She said, nicely and Peach smiled.

“Oh wow, that’s funny considering you know me so well.” She said and Skylor turned to look between us. “I’m sorry, I think I interrupted- Y/n? Were you about to reply to that?” She asked and I smiled.

“Yeah, I was.” I said and punched Skylor in the eye when she turned around to face me again. She turned around again to Peach holding her eye and Peach kicked her in the knee and did some fucking cool as move where she flipped Skylor over onto her back.

“That’s for saying I don’t put in effort- am I still slow?” She asked and I almost cheered.

“Car picnic? There’s a new burger joint I wanna try.” Peach asked and I nodded.

“Please.” I said and we walked out. “When did you learn to do that?” I asked and she shrugged.

“Basic self defence.” She said and I gasped.

“You actually listened?!” I said and she nodded.

“Lloyd taught me a few things as well.” She confirmed.

0:57 ————|——— -2:10

Kai was messaging me, angrily and I ignored his calls. Chowing down on the nice fat burger. Me and Peach moaned at how good it was.

“We might be lesbian lovers after this, y’know?” Peach said and I nodded.

“Both screwed over by men in one night? It’s a sign.” I said. “You’re moaning louder at that burger than Lloyd makes you.” I said and she laughed.

“Tell me about it.” She said screwing up the wrapped and throwing it in the empty bag. “Y’know how they’re all gym-heads right?” She asked and I nodded.

“It’s freaky.”

“Lloyd once didn’t talk to them for a couple days because they said I was too fragile and unfit to train with them. That fucking hurt me.” She said and I frowned.

“Err. That’s fucking rude.” I said and she nodded, taking a vape. She only smoked when was upset.

“Don’t get me started on when they found out I vaped.” She said and I frowned harder. “The worst part is they were right.” I patted her shoulder.

“There, there. You’re still out of Lloyd’s league.” I said and she smiled.

“Do you think I don’t put as much effort in as him?” She asked and I shook my head.

“No! The poor guy would be dead without you.” I told her and she shrugged.

“They’ve done a lot more for him.” She added and I hit her in the arm.

“Shut up! Whenever he gets you a present it labelled to ‘the best thing that’s ever happened or me’. Let’s be for real.” I told her and she smiled.

“Yeah, that’s true.” She looked at me.

“Could be worse. You could be a selfish, aggressive, vile person that no one wants to be with.” I told her and she hit me instead.

“Only one of those things were said and none of them things are true.” Peach said and I shrugged. “Fine… I’ll break up with Lloyd and be your lesbian lover. Okay, Pookie Bear?” She said and I laughed.

“Okay, Pookie. Make me yours.” I said and we both started laughing our lungs out.

0:57 ————|——— -2:10

We pulled into the car park for our apartment which was actually a 10 minute walk to the apartments but not if you went through this ally.

“Listen, men are shit. They do this! Because they have nothing better to do than be dickheads. That’s why ice cream was made. To fix men’s mistakes. That’s we’re full time lesbians now.” Peach said, carrying the bag full of treats with me carrying the other.

“You don’t mean that do you, Peaches?” A voice called and I looked up startled to see the green ninja staring down at us. The earth ninja appeared behind him like he was in trouble.

“Oh I so do. I so so do.” She said, gritting her teeth as he jumped down in front of her.

“You and Garmadon struggling? Do I have my chance now?” He asked and oh my god, the green ninja was a flirt.

“No! Didn’t you hear? I’m a lesbian now, meet my lesbian lover.” She said and gestured to me, he gave a short wave.

“You stealing my girl now?” He asked and I frowned.

“Was never yours and the universe wants us to be together. Gave us a sign.” I said and he looked to Peach.

“Both screwed over by these brothers tonight then their friend started saying that I didn’t put any effort in to my relation and that’s no one wants to be with her because she’s a selfish, vile, aggressive person.” Peach almost spat in his face.

“That’s not true.” Greenie immediately said. Going soft.

“I second that.” The earth ninja said… I forgot he was even there.

“Well… only one of those things was said.” I told him and I saw his eyebrows knit from the little eye slot on the mask. He had brown eyes.

“Still not true. What happened?” He asked and Peach was glaring at him and then dropped the bag in Greenie’s hand and started walking to the apartment.

“Follow us.” She said, taking the lead and I did a little run to be by her side. She looked at me before taking my bag and dumping it in the Earth Ninja’s hands. “Don’t talk to me.” She hushed him before he even spoke.

“Are we in trouble.” Earth asked and Greenie nodded.

“Big trouble.” He confirmed.

0:57 ————|——— -2:10

“Make yourself comfortable.” I said, watching both men collapse on the couch. They sat up immediately in sync, like they were both in trouble.

“Shit, ice cream has melted.” Peach said and I grabbed mine and squished the tub a little to feel the liquid move.

“Fuck off. As if today could get worse.” I said and Greenie reached out.

“Here.” He took it in both hands and cupped it. When he gave it back it was frozen again.

“Thank you-show off” I said at the same time as Earth. Greenie wacked him.

“You boys had a hard patrol?” Peach asked, hidden meaning. I knew she knew the green ninja but not this close.

“Yeah- massive sinkhole appeared in the road! Had to block it off. Try and figure out the cause. Witness says that it apparently ‘glitched’.” Greenie said and I noticed how Peach all of a sudden went really stiff and nervous.

“Weird.” She said and looked away.

“Yeah weird.” I said, looking at her strangely before running over to her.

“I thought you said that shit only happened once! To our….” I cut myself off noticing the boys looking at us with lost puppy eyes. “Can you like not please?” I asked and they jumped into motion.

“Oh yeah- uhm…. Is your room still the same Peach? I’m gonna have a look!” Greenie said and walked through the door leaving Earth.

“I would also like to see your room! I’ve only seen Y/n’s! Two for two! Am I right?” Earth said and went into Peach’s room, shutting the door.

“It totally is what happened to our neighbours! That’s the problem! That’s why I’m so close to greenie!” Peach told me and I gasped.

“No!” I said.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” She said, tears in her eyes.

“Why wouldn’t you fucking tell me?!” I asked and she tried to hold back tears.

“I wanted to tell you everything! From the glitching to why you can’t say my name! You know how you see ghosts right?!” She asked and I shook my head.

“No! I didn’t know that!” I said and she laughed.

“Neither did I! But apparently yes! It’s to do with some dimension third eye thing! But being exposed to the glitch- changed us.” She said and I gasped.

“What-?”

“Peach that’s enough!” Green said from the door. Earth ninja defensive behind him.

“Enough-?” She questioned.

“Yes! Enough… just calm down. It’s not your fault.” He said and I looked to Earth.

“He’s being leader…” He clarified. “The senseis are really big on secrecy. Makes our lives harder and easier at the same time.” Earth told me and I nodded.

“You’re huge by the way.” I said, just noticing how tall he is. “Super strength?” I asked and he nodded.

“Was always tall but this…” he gestured to his body “…is all thanks to training.” I laughed at him as Green tried to calm Peach down.

“I should probably call Lloyd. He’ll know how to calm her… does he know?” Earth looked at me.

“I don’t personally know the guy.” He said and I nodded.

“Just fought his Dad?” I asked and he became more awkward.

“If you want to make someone uncomfortable start talking about the final battle with him.” Earth said and I laughed.

“I’m gonna go to bed. I don’t even wanna think about anything that has happened tonight. I’m gonna shoot my self if this carries on- My ice cream is melted again!” I complained, opening the lid.

“Here!” Green said stressed, hand on his hip with one outstretched towards me. He took it and ice spiked off it in his frustration.

“Y’know what?! Go! I’m done speaking to the green ninja! I want to speak to Lloyd! And take him with you! I don’t want her caught up in this crap either!” I heard Peach say and me and Earth looked at each other and he nodded before jumping out the window. Greenie went to storm out but came back with my ice cream and slammed it down so hard our kitchen counter snapped in two. We both gasped.

“We’re gonna lose our deposit.” I blurted out. First thing my mind thought of.

“Im so a lesbian now!” Peach said and I nodded.

0:57 ————|——— -2:10

‘Hey, sorry i didn’t message or call.’ - sent 3:23

‘Just got in. Been a rough night’ sent 3:23

‘I’m sorry I fucked up big time tonight’ sent 3:25

‘I don’t wanna fuck this up with you please’ sent 3:25

‘I heard what happened with Skylor. I’m on your side’ sent 3:26

‘She’s wrong’ sent 3:26

‘I really fucking wanna be yours’ sent 3:29

Message deleted

‘Call me back when you wake up please’ sent 3:29

…

‘I saw you type. Please respond’ sent 3:32

‘Please Y/n I’ll make it up to you’

…

‘I wanna be yours too’ sent 3:39 read 3:39

‘But how can I trust you?’ read 3:40

‘I’ll do anything.’ sent 3:40

…

‘Bring me a single carnation every Sunday’ read 3:56

‘It has to be a pink one’ read 3:57

0:57 ————|——— -2:10

#ninjago lloyd #ninjago nya #ninjago jay #ninjago kai #ninjago zane #ninjago cole #earth ninja #ninjago #cole brookstone x reader #cole brookstone #lloyd garmadon #kai smith #nya smith #jay walker #zane julien #ninjago skylor

38 notes · View notes

sodapops0lstice · 7 months

Text

Strider Husbandry Tips

Here's some tips for people who are new to the Strider Husbandry scene, i hope my advice is useful

Whilst it is true that most Strider's DO enjoy and even thrive living in smaller environments (making them great to keep if youre on a tighter budget!) it is absolutely vital that they have places to hide and sneak around in!!! it is in a Strider's very nature to be sneaky and unseen. they can become nervous and frightened if theyre too exposed or have nowhere to scurry around in. This is especially important for Strider's of the Dirk variety as they need hidey holes to survive (there have been many cases of Dirks actually DYING because they were so stressed because of their exposure), they often try to make hiding spots for themselves which results in many Dirks suffocating in air vents which they use as hiding places. I recommend making small spots for your Strider to hide in and if necessary get one of these. It simulates a Strider's natural instinct to burrow in tunnels safely and you can take it with you on travel

I hear a lot about Strider's having very specific dietary needs that is not met they could die. This is false!! This was disproven fairly recently and you can feed your Strider whatever you like really. The only hangup is learning which Strider's require apple juice or orange soda. This might seem intimidating at first due to how many different varieties and sub categories there are but generally, the rule of thumb is Aviator Shades require Apple Juice, Kamina Shades require Orange Soda. Though your Strider might prefer small tweaks in their beverage, experiment and record their reactions.

If your Strider isn't very physically affectionate do not assume they dislike you! Striders are very defensive and will likely assume at first you are a predator. Guardian and Ultimate breeds might try and hurt you whilst most others will steer clear of you. It's best to try and prove you are friend NOT foe, talk to your Strider, give them doritos and they're beverage. If that doesn't work, leave them alone for a while until they are used to your presence.

Whilst Striders are not vicious by nature it's best if you have a more aggressive variety to try and train them as soon as possible. I've known people who got themself the most aggressive breed of Strider (a Dave's Bro, or simply a Bro, if you were curious) didn't train them, used them as a bragging right and status symbol and then were surprised when they attempted to start abusing kids. It's really upsetting as a Bro can be an incredibly loyal companion if trained correctly, I've seem some, trained by the right people, having temperaments as docile as a Dave paired with a Karkat! (im not personally all that familiar with Vantas husbandry but i do know that a Dave paired with a Karkat are usually very docile to the point where some owners think they are ill or lethargic when that's just they're temperament.) If you want a more hands-on breed of Strider like a Bro be responsible and willing to put the effort in

Striders function better as units. Whilst keeping a single Strider is a totally normal and okay thing, most Striders do prefer living in groups of atleast 2 (if you can't afford/dont want multiple thats totally fine, if you aren't neglectful theyll 9/10 be happy and healthy). Within their own species, they are super social, often playing and sharing with eachother, they tend to feel safer when their is another Strider in the house. I don't think they're is an exact rhythm to which breed will get along with eachother, sometimes you just have to leave it up to whether they enjoy eachothers company or not. My only warning is, unless you can handle it, try not to get two needy breeds, they won't get jealous per se, just very VERY vocal when they aren't the center of attention, Daves are quite notorious for this behaviour, but some people find that endearing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Try to equal out attention between any needy Strider you may have.

#ive lost it #homestuck #dirk strider #dave strider #strider husbandry

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quodekash · 6 months

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ASDHSAGFHDGAFHGAHGFAS EPISODE 10

need I say more?

AND HE'S WEARING HIS SHIRT???

THE MORNING AFTER THEY HAD SEX (or perhaps just a very intense makeout session)

BRO THATS A POWER MOVE IF I EVER SAW ONE

AAAASFHDSHFDSAFAHSDHSADH

that's the first time ive heard someone refer to banging their boyfriend as "mind-blowing" and I honestly love it (I say through wheezing gasps of laughter that's hilarious kang)

dont gaslight him bro

we all saw it

and it was tender and beautiful and lovely and perfect

and I swear if they pull an akkayan episode 6/7 and reveal that kang imagined the whole thing, I promise I will track down the houses of p'lit, p'toh, p'pratchaya and p'bee and I will personally smack them (and then while im there ill hug them and thank them for their amazing directing and writing because they're all incredible and im so glad these series exist because of them)

THANK GOODNESS

IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, PHEW

YES

YES PLEASE DO THAT

AND THEN WE CAN SEE GUYNAWA

because istg if they pull a soundwin and give us HEAPS of progression in episode 9 and then literally NOTHING in episode 10, I promise I will do what I said I would do if they pulled an akkayan episode 6/7

you better watch out directors and writers, your faces may be slapped shortly

so soccer is a video game now? and the sailom-scent-shirt is like a special equipment thing with magical properties?

honestly if someone made drts into a video game id buy it. and I dont even have a gaming console.

I would buy a gaming console entirely for drts video game

okay yeah I agree but I reckon it'll be fine, kang's dad has already paid a bunch of money so I doubt the coach will get too mad

but also I still want to believe that he got onto that team with actual skill and that the money exchanging thing just kinda happened, but it wasn't the reason he got on the team, you know?

so im hoping that maybe when they go to the training camp, the coach will explain everything?? maybe???

ALSO everyone on the team is gonna be IMMEDIATELY suspicious of kang and sailom. kang shows up several days late to training camp, and sailom is with him. theyll all be like 👀

my hope is that the first guy to figure it out will be the bloke in the red jersey because he was side-eyeing guynawa ALL of last episode

AWWW

and see, there's something about the difference between what coach says here, and what his dad says a few episodes earlier

"Don't worry. I understand how teenagers are. I've been through it all, I understand" where he's familiarising himself with Kang, relating himself to him, remembering how messy his life was when he was a teenager, and using the "I get how teenagers are" line to comfort Kang when he is grateful for being given such a great opportunity

as opposed to "I get how teenagers are, they never want to study, you should just relax all the time" where he's using his understanding of teenagers from what he's seen during his election campaign (this was in the same conversation where he saw his son playing Fifa and kang got hopeful that maybe he could bond with his father, and his father said "ive seen many young people playing it during my campaign". he relates everything back to himself, the election, and general teenagers as a concept rather than as complicated human beings that you should try to connect to if one of them is, oh I dont know, your son?). and the line is overlooking and dismissing the stress of school and being a teenager. and he never once asks his son if he wants to study. he assumes that he doesnt, because of what he knows about teenagers entirely from observing during his campaign. the man doesnt sit down to talk to his son and learn things about him and to help him and give him advice, like a father should. he's never around to do so.

but then coach says such a comforting thing and he words it in the right way and even talks about how he himself was once a teacher, and he understands what kang is going through, even if he doesnt know all the details

oh would you look at that I wrote an essay

I could actually turn that into an actual essay if I wanted to

the exam i have on king lear in less than two weeks can sit to the side for a while, kangsailom are far more important

GUYNAWA WALKED ONTO THE FIELD TOGETHER THEY WALKED ONTO THE FIELD TOGETHER AAAAAAA

PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

hes like korn but... better

love korn but idk, he kind of asked the same kinds of questions and made fun of his friends in the same sense that guy is now, but he did it differently and it came off in a more intrusive/inappropriate/rude way than the way guy's doing it if that makes sense? idk

so you decided to go outside where name is?

what, are you planning to do him

(this is the second time in two episodes that ive made a joke about saifahname doing each other, what is wrong with me)

name is taking notesss

he's cooking up that robbery plan (??)

YOU COULD TRAVEL THE WORLD TOGETHER

HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE

AND NAME LOOKS SO HAPPY HERE

ITS A TERRIBLE SCREENSHOT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN IT, HE'S SO HAPPY AT FINDING OUT THEY HAVE THIS IN COMMON, AND HE'S SO HAPPY THINKING ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES OF TRAVELLING THE WORLD GJIERKBGS

he remembers things about him

HE REMEMBERS THINGS ABOUT HIM

okay I know it seems like im pushing a romantic agenda on saifahname, but even if they have an entirely platonic relationship, I still love them and their dynamic so so so much

THATS WHAT IM SAYING

its been years since they were in high school, literal years since they last saw each other and literal years since they last had a decent conversation with each other, and yet saifah still remembers that one tiny detail about the guy

like what the hell

EVERYTHING????

IM CRYING

WHAT THE HELL MAN

is this the part where he professes his undying love for him that flourished when they were in high school and it faded into the background for a few years when they were apart, and then he reconnected with him and all those past feelings came rushing back at once?

(im like. half kidding about this)

okay, every line they say I become more certain that they must've had a thing in high school

like a "one-off, no feelings attached, experimenting" kind of thing

OH MY

JUST KISS ALREADY??? OR HUG??????? DO SOMETHING, PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU

IDC IF ITS ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC

START CRYING OR SOMETHING

AND HIS SMILE

I AM VERY MUCH NOT OKAY

ITS A CRAP SCREENSHOT BUT WHEN SAIFAH DOES THAT BIG WIDE GENUINE SMILE IT BREAKS MY HEART A LITTLE BIT BUT ALSO MENDS MY HEART A BIT AT THE SAME TIME

THATS WHAT IM SAYING

so the determination for the robbery that's probably coming up isn't gonna be for entirely selfish reasons

its for wholesome adorable possibly-gay reasons

be gay do crime folks

Im loving the theme of debts in this series

and not just in the form of actual money debts

other debts, like the debt of gratitude that name owes this guy

or with kang's dad and his idea of "its my way of apologising" "its my way of helping you" and how those gestures were ways of forcing saifah and kang into owing him a debt

debt is such a weird word

but yeah. and like, even the debts have debts in a way

name, a debt collector, owes his employer a debt

ging is offering to pay all of sailom's family's debts, so long as sailom tutors kang and gets him into a good public university. so now sailom owes ging a debt of gratitude, and if he fails at helping kang into a public university, then he has not only his actual money debts, but he'll have the feeling of guilt on his shoulders for not achieving that goal

I just think its really interesting

OHHHHH

OH OKAY I GET IT NOW

that makes a lot of sense

man I hate this guy

YOU SEE, AND THIS WOULD BE VERY INTERESTING AND CRUCIAL INFORMATION THAT HE SHOULD'VE TOLD HIS SON, SO THAT HIS SON DOESNT FEEL ALONE??? SO THAT HE CAN TRY TO RELATE TO HIS SON IN SOME WAY???

I dont think this man has any idea how to be a father

he has no clue what hes doing and he's not even trying to figure out what he should do

he literally said last episode that kang just gets like that sometimes, and he just leaves the house because hes mad and angry and has a lot of emotions, and he comes back within a few days

maybe instead of just waiting it out, he could TALK to his son and say "hey kid, I know you're going through a rough time right now, I get it. I want you to know that you can talk to me if you want to or need to, because I've been through the exact same thing - I used to run away from your grandmother for weeks on end because I was angry with her. so I know exactly what you're going through, and I understand that its really difficult and scary being a teenager, but if you need it, you can talk to me about this, and I can offer what best advice I have" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT???

JUST TALK TO YOUR SON BITCH

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PART OF HIS LIFE

THAT'S ADORABLE

SAILOM I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Y E S

FINALLY

GOOD JOB BITCH

HES GONNA GO SEE THE GAME

TAKING INTEREST IN YOUR SON'S INTERESTS, GOOD, FINALLY, YOU'RE GETTING THERE

IT ONLY TOOK YOU 18 YEARS BUT YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING THERE

JKDFGBEDVFS

ITS LITERALLY HIS MOTTO AT THIS POINT

HES SAID IT IN FOUR OUT OF THE LAST FIVE EPISODES WE'VE HAD

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

that's the way he appears out of thin air? not sitting next to him, or saying anything? just silently handing him a bottle of water?

come on man, work on your dramatic flair

anyway, I so hope that while they're sitting there watching, kong does the classic "so you and my son have something special" line where its super unclear if the parent knows they're in a romantic relationship, or if the parent just thinks they have a strong everlasting bond of friendship

im thinking specifically of uther talking to merlin about him and Arthur in that one episode

"im not busy" but... the governor's birthday?

I mean I agree that the governor isn't important, but I didn't think he'd think that

OH WAIT

THIS IS DEFINITELY THE FIRST TIME HE'S PRIORITISED HIS SON'S INTERESTS AND DESIRES AND HOPES AND WISHES AND DREAMS OVER THE BLOODY ELECTION CAMPAIGN

HERKSJGDB

GOOD JOB MY GUY

THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED A LONG TIME AGO BUT IT IS HAPPENING AND THE VERY DEEP WOUNDS ARE FINALLY STARTING TO HEAL SO THIS IS WONDERFUL

CRAP IM OUT OF IMAGES

30 images is really not many

#quodekash disregards sleep because of dangerous romance #dangerous romance #dangerous romance series #dangerous romance the series #kangsailom #kanghansailom #perthchimon #perth tanapon #chimon wachirawit #saifahname #guynawa #marc pahun #win pawin #pawin kulkaranyawich #papang phromphiriya #pepper phanuroj

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treasure-mimic · 9 months

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Felt like messing around in photoshop today, so, what started as a want to create some franchise icons for Smash turned into full character mockups, so I put together my 10 most wanted characters for Smash Bros., whatever the next game looks like, and I’d like to post them and talk about them a bit.

Quote is I think my most wanted newcomer to Smash, I really like and appreciate everything Cave Story has done, and I think if you’re talking about indie games, Cave Story has probably had the most influence on the industry. Kids today probably don’t know much of anything about this game, but trust me when I say there’d be no Hollow Knight, no Ori, no Celeste, without Quote.

This one might be a little obvious nowadays, but I am fully behind the Waluigi train. Just one point of contention, I think people undersell his potential by just having him reference different sports games and spin-offs. I think the real play is to come up with a wholly original kit based around being a dirty cheater and trickster with a penchant for explosives.

I’d much rather have Paper Mario than Dr. Mario if I’m being entirely honest with you.

This one’s a bit weird, because I don’t have a huge fondness for Excitebike the game or Excitebiker the character, I’m just enamored with this concept of a fighting game character who fights entirely from the back of a motorcycle. I just think that’s wicked as hell. I’ll take it in whatever form I can.

Metroid Dread is in strong contention for my favorite Metroid game ever, and it did finally give us a character with a body plan and toolkit that lends itself to Smash, outside of Sylux and the Hunters, whom I’m not the biggest fans of. I’ve had some contentious history with the way Smash fans talk about Metroid, so I guess I’ll put it out now that I think if, at this point, you’re not vouching for Raven Beak, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Love me some DS VNs, Professor Layton I think at this point has the strongest ties to Nintendo and, since Phoenix Wright got to play in Marvel 3, it should be his time to shine, though I wouldn’t be opposed to any of them.

Honestly, every generation of Pokemon there’s a couple of new mons that I think would make sick Smash characters, and will inevitably get passed up for a lame starter. Nihilego deserves a spot, dammit, she’s more plot important than any number of fire/fighting muscleheads. But if we’re shilling for the most recent gen, you can’t go wrong with a giant hammer.

The Heavy is commonly in talks around Smash Bros. wishlists, especially here in the West, but the obvious problem rears its head pretty quickly. He’s a giant, lumbering, immobile mass whose main weapon takes several seconds to start up and then chews through anything it hits. This is my counterproposal, I think the Scout is just as iconic as the Heavy, comes with a lot of fun weapons and abilities, and actually has some mobility. Imagine using a downward Force-A-Nature shot to recover while spiking someone into the blast zone!

This is for sure a weird one, but once the idea came to me I started getting really attached to it. The number of Enderman variants from Minecraft Dungeons gives the Enderman a surprising amount of variance to pull from, and the Ender Dragon could be its Final Smash.

For the final suggestion, this is for sure a “there’s no chance in hell” but also “it would be really funny”. Scorpion, I think, best represents the aesthetics of Mortal Kombat, a ninja with fire, bladed weapons, and the ability to teleport, which centers him more than Sub-Zero who uses ice, Raiden who uses lightning, and Liu Kang who’s just a martial artist. Leaning heavy on the fire aspect is also a good way to nerf MK’s hypergore for a Rated E10+ game, though that really is the central appeal of Scorpion, trying to shove this edgelord into a kiddy cartoon beat-em-up.

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lifewithdavefarts · 2 years

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DaveFarts - Episode 22 “Road Rip” [Episode List] Dave is stuck out of town after a big storm damaged the railways in the area, resulting to all trains getting cancelled. Tim’s lazy saturday night gets therefore turned upside-down as he is forced to take the car for a two-hours trip to get his friend back home.

Want to feel like Tim? Click on the links in the story to hear the power of Dave's farts! The audio for the farts was kindly provided by the skilled farter TheFartingWolf, so make sure to follow him on Twitter on his main account and his backup one!

POV: Tim

Road Rip

Saturday afternoons are the laziest moments of the week for me. Or, at least that's what they used to be.

Now that I live alone (well, with a roommate) I take advantage of this otherwise unproductive time to get some random shit done, chores, everything house-related.

I got the kitchen cleaned up for example, then went to the grocery store ‘cause we were short on everything. Luckily, for the last few days I could easily run on fumes because I’ve been alone, since Dave had to attend to some kind of convention out of town, work stuff. He occasionally kept us posted in the group chat, as apparently he, his boss and their co-workers spent most of the time drinking and some of them got badly drunk in an attempt to impress their superiors, leading to some unprofessional behaviour, and thus hilarious for us. In private, Dave also reported to me the presence of a very hot gay guy, but since he’s working in a rival company, my bro told me that he wouldn’t actually approve of our relationship.

That voice message? That’s exactly what you think it is.

And no, I won’t kill him, I’m just baffled by how chill he is.

Even when he’s not around, Dave would still blast me using modern technologies, and that voice message was his ass speaking, not him, one of his usual, loud, 10+ seconds farts.

On one hand, I treasure Dave being ridiculously open minded. On the other, more than once I almost listened to those in public, thinking they were actual messages, important stuff, instead of my bro making fun of me.

However, I can’t really complain much since as annoying as he can be, I know I’m very lucky.

He kept sending us messages and updates, the usual stuff, memes and shit, while I kept doing my own shit around the house, until at around 6:30 PM, when Dave sent a peculiar voice message.

It was in the group chat this time, so I know that couldn’t be a fart… maybe.

“Hey guys” it sounded like he was in a crowded place, which it made sense given it was a convention. “so I assume you noticed the storm this morning. Well that bitch hit us hard. I mean we’re all fine but the railways suffered some heavy damage and all trains have been cancelled.”

He stopped a few second to exchange some words with -I think- a co-worker and then resumed talking to us.

“I’m pretty much stuck here so… help? I know it’s a two-hour trip by car but I can repay y’all with sex. Raw, unhinged sex. I can be the lover of your dreams.”

Wouldn’t be Dave without jokes like these. And needless to say, we’re all men in our group chat.

“But seriously guys, let me know, and fast.”

Admittedly it was a time-consuming favour but while he may act all silly around us, Dave is pretty smart and organized, so I automatically assumed he tried out every available options before asking us.

After a couple of messages making fun of him, saying how he was gonna die there etc., the group™ started to think of a solution. Unsuccessfully, I might add.

Two of our buds were too out of town, spending the weekend with their girlfriends.

Adam’s car was in the shop to fix the engine and if he was lucky he was gonna get it back on Monday.

Greg was useless as usual.

So that only leaves… me.

“Alright, I’ll do it.” I simply typed in the group chat.

Everyone reacted to the message with a thumbs up and made comments about how many stops me and Dave were gonna have on our way back to fuck each other in every motel.

“Bold of you to assume we need to stop the car to fuck.” Dave played along. “We’re professionals.”

My bro-roommate then thanked me in private.

I turned on the radio to keep me company and just drove. It wasn’t a complicated trip by any means, most of it was a boring and uneventful straight highway. There was no traffic despite the cancelled trains, and it honestly was a surprisingly relaxing trip. The biggest risk (not that I thought there were gonna be any) was me falling asleep for how dull all of that was however (thankfully, the radio helped).

I managed to keep Dave (and my other buds) posted on my location, so he knew when to get ready. We decided (or rather he forced me) I was gonna leave the car in the parking lot next to the convention center and then have a quick dinner together in a fast food located in the building, so I could also rest for a bit; he actually asked me if I wanted him to drive on our way back, but I didn’t feel tired (at worst, we’d take turns).

Surprisingly enough, I got there in time, after around 2 hours as expected (9:00 PM or so). I parked where my friend told me to and then went looking for him in the building’s main (and big) hall. There were still some people around, some of them working on their laptops, chatting, casually having a beer. I assume most of them were in Dave’s situation but chose to remain there for the night.

“Right here, babe!”

I saw Dave waving at me. He was sitting on a couch near the hall’s coffee shop, with an empty beer bottle in one hand and his laptop on his legs. He looked visibly exhausted by the last few days but still cracked a silly smile when he saw me. He was wearing a white shirt and some grey jeans.

We bro-fisted because we’re manly mature men and he promptly got up to give me a quick hug.

“You’re awesome, I’m gonna let you choke on my dick back home.” he told me as his arms wrapped around my shoulder.

He was joking. Seriously. That’s how we always joke around, regardless of anyone’s sexuality. Dave then reached for his laptop and put it in his backpack: he just wanted to leave that damn place.

“Let’s get something to eat, it’s on me.”

“Come on you don’t-“

“Shut your mouth and follow me.”

We kept chatting as we walked towards this small fast food, also located in the main hall (as I said, it was a big place). If you ignore the alcohol involved, it was a prolific weekend for him and he was happy he was getting a raise starting next week.

“Maybe you can finally move in with Dana.” I suggested.

“Nope, you won’t get rid of me so easily.” he joked.

We sat at a table for two and quickly ordered some food using some kind of app that Dave made me install. Mere minutes laters, our meal arrived: I asked for a tasty cheeseburger while Dave went for the double one.

“Tsk, puny as usual.” he said, as he compared how relatively small my burger was.

“Remember who humiliated you at the hot dog-eating contest last year.” I flexed.

“Wow my gay friend is really good at eating sausages? Up next: the sky is blue.”

We both had a laugh. “Why so bitchy all of the sudden? You never complained about my sausage-eating skills before.”

Our very mature and not-at-all double entendre-filled conversation went on for a couple of more minutes, ignoring anyone overhearing us, though I’m pretty sure no one cared.

“But yes.” Dave then said. “We’re thinking of moving together within next year.” he then took a big bite of his burger. “No worries tho, I’m not going anywhere for now.” he continued, almost choking on his own food, and winked at me.

“Just say when!” I remarked, referring to when I needed to move out (in case Dana was the one moving in).

We both knew it had to happen eventually, and we were both super chill about it obviously. I was already looking for a place on my own lately anyway, so it’s not the end of the world.

After finishing our burgers, we both kept talking about the last few days while finishing our beers. Well, Dave was: I ordered a coke, since I was the one driving. My bro then got up and paid, as he promised.

“Gas too is on me by the way.” he said, as we walked towards the exit.

“Dude no you already paid for our dinner, you don’t nee-“

“Shut up. You drive, I pay.”

I chose not to insist and I simply appreciated the gesture.

We got to the car after a couple of minutes of walking; Dave put his backpack into the trunk as I occupied the driving seat, with my friend promptly sitting next to me on the passenger one.

“Alright it’s 10:00 PM… the trip will take around 2 hours… so we should be at home around Midnight.”

Dave looked at me unimpressed. “Yes, because 10+2 equals 12, is that correct?”

“Yes, sorry your brain can’t handle such advanced math.”

The sarcastic banter was interrupted by… well, I don’t even need to say it. It was interrupted by Dave ripping one, a quick, 2 seconds-long blast, partially muffled by the seat.

“…really? Already?” I asked, unimpressed, and he replied with another short blast, or the second part of the previous one which, knowing him, he probably interrupted on purpose just to cut me off with was left of it.

He dropped the serious facade and smiled. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Good idea. I started the car and we got moving.

“When back there you told me that gas was on you…” I said, as I drove out of the parking lot. “I thought you were talking about the car.” I joked, mustering all the courage I had to do it.

He really likes messing with me.

My friend laughed. “We’ll see.” he simply answered. “Either way, you’re getting free gas.” he winked at me and turned the radio on, completely chill as usual about how weird I was.

Here it goes, my heart racing fast, still unable to get used to my bro being this ok with my kink, so much so that we can casually joke about it like we just did.

“J-just don’t hotbox the car.” I tried to be as smooth as possible, but I’m pretty sure my voice cracked.

“Not making any promises.” he said, while tuning the radio.

I kept driving, focusing on the highway in front of us as the music kept us company. Dave was visibly tired so I let him rest for a while; he wasn’t asleep but I could tell he was exhausted. I mean I could easily scare the shit out of him by swerving the car like a madman all of the sudden, but I chose not to, because I’m indeed the hero he doesn’t deserve.

For the first hour, just like on the way up, the return trip was dull and uneventful, but oddly relaxing.

“How’s the gas?” Dave asked.

“Yours or the car’s?” I replied, knowing that I could step on a mine by saying that.

My friend laughed at the lame joke, making me question whether we’re both actually really really dumb.

“But I’m good, thanks. Got lots of gas to spare.”

And I just stepped on the land mine, as expected.

“What a coincidence.” I could sense his smirk. “Me too!”.

Dave adjusted his position a bit and spread his long, denim legs. He reached for the radio to lower the volume, so I could only have ears for what he was about to unleash.

“Y-you don’t have to, man.” I tried to say, sincerely.

But Dave just cackled. “jUsT sAy WhEn!” he replied, doing a very offensive impression of what I said earlier, voice cracking and all.

My friend knows how the kink works but can’t help to find me hilarious and I can’t do anything to stop him. This is my hell… and heaven, at the same time.

He still wasn’t farting, oddly enough, so I dared to look at him, only to find him staring back at me. It was night and the car was dark, but the lights from other vehicles revealed, unsurprisingly, a silly yet reassuring smile draw on his face.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you have nothing to worry about with me?”

My heart was racing faster than the cars around us. I’d be ironically more able to have a discussion with someone not being ok with my kink rather than this.

Dave always leaves me speechless.

“Look, just listen what I’m gonna tell you, ok?” he stated.

I believed him.

I believed him like a fool.

I truly believed he was gonna make some kind of deep speech to reassure me (not that he didn’t the in the past, more than once). A fool, that’s what I am, and in fact my ears got destroyed by a voice, yes, but a loud, roaring voice coming out of his ass.

What was both hot and hilarious to me was that Dave kept staring at me with a serious expression, as if that loud gas was indeed an important speech, but halfway through the 14-seconds-long fart he just lost it and smiled like a jerk, without losing control of that enormous blast of gas. The way he controls his rips is downright fascinating to me (but I’m biased): my bro would speak, move, laugh while farting and the blast would never lose any power.

Once he was done, he playfully punched my right shoulder and sat back normally, tightening the seatbelt, but his ass being glued to the seat didn’t stop the stench from engulfing the entire car. It wasn’t terrible… yet, but I did have to lower the car window just to let some fresh air in.

“Was that natural or on command?” I had the guts to ask, but I was genuinely curious, given the sound it had.

Dave looked amused by the surprising question. “Not tellin’, a pro never reveals his secrets.” such a smug answer.

“Well…” damn I’m being brave tonight. “Whatever you do, I tip my hat to how loud your farts get. That’s impressive, r-regardless of my kink.”

What a surreal conversation.

My friend simply laughed in response, probably at me, but I couldn’t really blame him.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” he then said, with a smirk.

I swear I wasn’t requesting anything, he was being a teasing asshole!

–

We kept talking about some other stuff, like our plans for tomorrow, since it was Sunday. The general consensus was “we do absolutely nothing” which, given how tired we were probably gonna be once we got home, it was probably for the best. Dave then resumed talking about his promotion.

“Dude, my boss is a jerk but credit where it’s due: if I get more money, I can finally afford that trip to France with Dana.”

“Yeah, I remember you guys have been talking about it for years.”

“And we still do, so maybe next year we’re finally -WAIT, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

…Why do I always fall for it?

I didn’t even have time to roll my eyes that Dave once again started ripping one of his huge blasts. He leaned just a bit to ease the fart out, effortlessly hotboxing the entire car, as I kindly told him not to. Then again, he did say he wasn’t making any promises, so I guess I walked right into that one.

The fart was long, loud and proud, easily silencing the music coming from the radio. It kept going strong as I listened in awe, my boner almost piercing a hole through my pants and touching the steering wheel, a boner my friend probably noticed because he winked at me (he winks pretty often lately, huh?), with a smirk, while still farting loudly and manly.

12 seconds, basically the average length of Dave’s rips.

I wanted to say something smooth and sarcastic to not look like the mess I am, but my friend simply resumed talking about his potential trip with Dana as if nothing happened, which I didn’t mind to be honest. What I did mind, like the hypocrite I am, was the smell poisoning my lungs. Despite the open windows, my nostrils were burning, while my friend was basically immune to it.

Now it was getting bad, the scent of Dave’s double cheeseburger, but rotten, lingering for minutes after the fart was done being ripped.

“I think I’m done with cheeseburgers for a while.” I commented out of nowhere.

Dave laughed, knowing exactly what i was referring to. He was actually proud of how nasty his rips were, the immature bastard.

I managed to focus on driving however, keeping an eye on the road and other passing cars, while still casually chatting with my bro, the insisting stench being a constant reminder of his farting skills even when his ass was being silent.

But I know Dave: he wasn’t done.

Around 30 minutes later, the radio played a song of a band we really like.

“I believe they’re having a concert in Boston in a few months.” Dave said.

“We gotta book some tickets if there’s still time.”

“I doubt it but it’s worth a shot.”

“I gotta hear that solo, bro.”

I feel like my life is just a series of fart cues for my gassy friend at this point.

“Right, but you gotta settle for this solo until then.” he stated, and I knew where this was going.

He again spread his legs wide and started farting, predictably, the blast being just as powerful as the others. How he manages to do it is beyond me, whether it’s natural or on command. The guy’s got talent and I wish I could be unbiased about it: he’s that good. I could swear that the warm gas cloud he produced almost fogged up the car windows, and the stench got even worse, nauseating, so much so I could taste it, which wasn’t a good news at all for my stomach, busy trying to digest my own cheeseburger.

Around 13 seconds later, Dave again adjusted his position on the seat and the fart went silent.

“Dude, no offense.” he turned to me. “But how you manage to survive whenever I fart in your face is a mystery to me.” he admitted, visibly disgusted, but still smiling and amused nonetheless.

The fact that he said that as if it was the most normal sentence in the world almost made me swerve the car.

“Like, was it last month?” he recalled. “We were on the couch and I used my legs to get you head-locked right up my ass ahah and then farted for like 30 seconds.” he couldn’t help but laugh at that memory, while still being disgusted.

I couldn’t blame him: this kink is gross, but I was grateful he also found it disgustingly amusing.

I can however blame him for my massive, damp boner instead: hearing Dave just casually recall our previous fart sessions was something I never expected to happen. What’s next? A clip-show episode?

And yes, I do remember the head-lock thing. I didn’t even ask for it but he just went for the fart-kill. I never ask for it, in fact: Dave walks the thin line between teasing me and straight-up bullying me with farts at this point, fully knowing how much I enjoy it...

I remained silent, hoping that we’d change the subject, even though the raunchy smell in the car kept reminding me of my bro’s powerful flatulences. His gas is like weed to me, when it comes to side effects, ‘cause I didn’t realize how much time passed; turns out we were like 30 minutes from home now: we did all the trip in one sitting, no pit stops or anything, just like daddy Tim likes it (please forget I called myself like that).

“Well Tim, you did it. You drove us home safe and sound, against all odds.” he mocked me.

“The odds being? You trying to poison me?” I dared to say.

That smirk, his signature smirk once again appeared on his face.

“Bro if I wanted to poison you, trust me, you’d have died miles ago.”

“Oh you trust me, my nostrils are burning.” I admitted.

My friend adjusted his position on the seat one more time in response.

“Just be glad you’re not getting this in your face.” he tried to be serious, threatening, but he just laughed in the end.

I tried to ignore what he just said, which I could easily do given what immediately followed: a loud, manly fart, already the loudest of the bunch. He’s done holding back: he was saving the best for last. The sheer power of the blast quickly renewed the horrid stench tarnishing the car; I felt soaked in my friend’s gas and I knew I had to take a long shower once I got home.

I should be glad this wasn’t in my face, he told me, and while I did want to get that blast up close and personal like we usually do... judging by the loudness, the power, the stench… maybe I should indeed be thankful.

Dave farted in my face many times by now, and trust me when I say that I endured some of the longest, loudest, baddest farts you can imagine. So when even I tell you that yes, maybe this one blast should be admired from a safer distance, you know things are getting way too hardcore. This latest fart sounded similar to the others, but I could also sense it was raunchier, deeper, dangerous. It wasn’t wet or anything, but it was pure, raw manly power.

Just like my bro wondered how can I survive his farts, I wondered the same about his jeans, how the fuck his farts do not manage to tear a huge hole through of them. Those lucky, lucky jeans.

The fart kept going, so loud that I couldn’t even hear the radio, and while he wasn’t ripped in my face, it could very well have been: I felt the car shake due to its power and through the gas all round me I could taste the twisted, rotten version of the double cheeseburger Dave had not even 2 hours earlier.

Eventually, even this fart had to end, Dave leaning a bit so he could rip the loud last few seconds towards me, clocking at almost 30 seconds in total. An incredible display of talent, further proof that he’s the fart master.

After a few moments of awkward silence, in spite of my boner sucking all the blood from my brain, I managed to be brave enough to speak, ignoring my friend’s smirk.

“I could’ve handle it.” I stated, lowkey suggesting that next time he had a fart like this brewing, he shouldn’t worry about directly blasting my face.

Maybe not while I'm driving, obviously.

“You’re disgusting bro.” he said, without losing his smirk, then called for a brofist. “Respect.”

Disgusted, but amused, he did find impressive that I’m indeed able to endure his incredible blasts. As usual, as annoying as he can be, and as gross as I can be, I couldn’t ask for a better bro.

Finally, about 20 minutes later, in the dark of the night, I parked the car on our front-yard, by the garage.

Both me and Dave left the car gasping for some clean air. Opening the doors of my vehicle felt more like opening a tuna can, with all the smell trapped inside leaving the tiny space it was trapped into all at once: I could still smell my friend’s farts while walking towards our front door, a sign that my hair and clothes were soaked deep into his gas. Even Dave's backpack left a trail of gas.

As we finally stepped into our living room, we felt free, as if we successfully finished a very dangerous quest. My tired bro-roommate patted my shoulder and walked upstairs like a zombie, ready to collapse on his bed and sleep until the end of time probably.

“Thanks for everything, Tim. Told ya the gas was on me.” he simply said, half-asleep already.

Teasing aside, I decided to not destroy him with one of my snarky comebacks and let him go this time, since I had another urgency to take care of. It’s a miracle I managed to resist for the entire trip in those conditions!

I waited for my friend to disappear into his room before rushing into the bathroom, so I could properly get rid of my damp boner. I barely needed to touch my penis, all it took was my fingers tickling it; my dick promptly exploded, the power of Dave’s farts and attitude being impossibly hot for me.

I took a deep breath as I came and I could still feel bits of that stench deep down my nostrils, which made me wonder if I myself reeked of farts and rotten cheese.

…yeah, I’m definitely avoiding cheeseburgers for a while.

Road trips, however, I’m all for it, as long as Dave provides all the gas we need.

End of Episode 22

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #malefarts #gayfarts

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cheemken · 3 months

Note

Ya know I haven’t really talked about Drayton n Kieran yet so here’s some canon hc stuff!

Okay so I believe in the French translation it’s stated that Kieran is 14….which I don’t believe lol with how shy he is in the teal mask and then crying over not getting ogerpon in the teal mask as well it just doesn’t fit right w/ him being 14 it seems in line of someone who’s 10 or 9 really + Drayton says he misses the old shy Kieran who likes to battle for fun so we can assume that Kieran was in the league club even before his desire to get stronger and tbh if a 14 yr old was around ppl like the E4 I doubt they’d be as shy as Kieran was in the teal mask, being around those 4 would give anyone a confidence, boost, so yeah Kieran is probably like 10 or maybe even 9 but def no older then that, anyways enough of my rambling n to the actual hcs lmao

Once Kieran is back in the club after mochi mayhem, he’s often seen curled up against Drayton snoozing on the clubs couch together as all of his intense training messed up Kieran’s sleep the boy is often really tired

Drayton is actually really good at comforting/calming down a crying Kieran weather it be from a legitimate reason like the trauma from terapagos, when he’s tired that he can’t help but cry or just him crying from not getting his way with something, Drayton is the second best at calming Kieran down (the first being carmine of course)

On the topic of terapagos, Kieran often goes to Drayton about his issues with the legendary bc Drayton knows what it’s like to be impacted by a legendary and Kieran doesn’t wanna bother his sister more with his trauma cause like yeah terapagos was gonna kill him, that energy beam was going straight for Kieran, he’d be dead if protagonist didn’t step in, so he talks to drayton about his trauma n drayton helps the best he can

Drayton eventually drops the “Ex-champion” nickname teasing as he sees it really upsets Kieran n they just started being friends again! He doesn’t wanna lose Kieran again!

They fly together across the terrarium on their dragonite’s :) often having fun lil races

Drayton joked about carrying Kieran when we beat him during the champion fight but he actually does give Kieran piggyback rides when he wants! He enjoys carrying Kieran a lot!

Just like with the E3, Drayton can be protective of him, that’s his lil brother your honour……stole him from carmine….~Drayton angst anon💛

Huh but y'know I can picture Kieran being 14, there are teenagers that are still kinda shy around that age, and given his upbringing, it's understandable why he'd act like that too

But anyways hahaha

That's dope tho, them bonding over their trauma regarding a legendary. Drayton never got to really face off Kyurem like Iris, only ever saw him after Iris finally got him from Ghetsis' control, a much tamer Kyurem than the one still being controlled by Plasma. He can't imagine how it must've been for Kieran too, being face to face w Terapagos, almost dying bc of it. Nearly died bros tho real lmfao

That's cute them flying around w their Dragonite🥹 reminds me of this one concept I have of Iris and Lance too hahah and aughgh the piggyback ride thing cndmdn like how Iris would do it for Drayton too your honour they are so soft cnmdnd

#but dray stealing him from carmine tho real😭🤣#unova kids #pokemon hcs #drayton angst anon #an ask and an answer

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echodrops · 4 months

Text

The Promises I’m Making (2024)

Sheesh, this year it was even harder than last year to make promises. In particular, I really wanted to focus on promises that wouldn't cost as much money as in prior years, so I tried to steer clear of too many promises that would cost above the basic spending amounts... But it turns out it is really hard to make resolutions if you're broke. 😂

So here's what I'm going with:

2024 Promises

1) Step down from my administrative position and return to being a full-time faculty member. I literally cannot take the clown show that is admin at my work anymore. It is actually killing me.

2) Related to this, redecorate my new office as soon as they decide where they are going to move me.

3) Apply for new jobs!! APPLY FOR NEW JOBS!!!

4) Train my replacement in the chair position well so they are super prepared to take over in fall.

5) Put a new sink/vanity in the downstairs bathroom of the Utah house.

6) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.

7) Finally get rid of the dirt pile in front of the Utah house.

8) Take down the remains of the wooden fence posts at the Utah house.

9) Fully clean out and prepare the Utah house to be rented out to new renters. Hopefully the next people won’t sneak in a parrot that poops all over the floor… RIP…

10) Clean off my back patio/car port area so I can park my car there again.

11) Call the plumber and replace the faucets. Even if I end up having to do it myself.

12) Get the dead tree removed from the Texas house yard and call the internet company to see about the cable around the tree root.

13) Plant roses where the old ones died in front of the Texas house.

14) Replace my CPU fan; the bearings are going out and it’s making an annoying noise.

15) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them.

16) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2023 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.

17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that paint program I bought.

18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year, but I hope I can make progress on this.

19) Buy all the Noragami volumes I am missing and do a complete re-read of Noragami now that the series is finishing up.

20) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.

21) Finish at least five books this year.

22) Update HaaH at least once. Please, Echo???

23) Reach the new level cap with all jobs in FFXIV!

24) Go to the graduation ceremony for my family friend.

25) Catch up with hanging up all the charms/pins I’ve gotten recently on my corkboards; these are just sitting in boxes/bags around the house. D;

26) Fully deep clean and vacuum/detail my own car at home. No more of the “It doesn’t make sense to clean it out now; the dog is just going to go back in it.” The dog is always going to go back in it. Clean it, Echo.

27) Help my parents tear out the carpet in my old childhood bedroom.

28) See at least three new species of birds. Doesn’t matter where, just three new ones!

29) Reach 3500 followers. Can I do it? You should follow me if you’re not already; I’m pretty cool. Just sayin’!

30) Cancel all the subscriptions I don’t need. There’s literally no reason to sit around letting companies passively profit off me when I don’t even really use the services/the services keep getting worse while the costs keep going up.

31) Go out on at least a day trip to take pictures with my friend. We haven’t done this in quite some time. I need to touch grass.

32) Repair the lovely one-of-kind ceramic plate that my dog broke with kintsugi. I want to try it at least once!

33) Really look hard for my passport in my house. It’s been missing for like a year and a half now, and I don’t want to have to pay for a new one.

34) Put all the small prints, postcards, and stickers I have collected in my new mini-print books. I can even use up washi tape to decorate too. (Finally, a purpose for the washi tape…)

35) Shred the million pieces of old mail I have lying around the house. I finally got the shredder so it just makes sense to use it.

36) Have more follow-through with chores. It’s not enough to wash the clothes or do the dishes if I then procrastinate on folding the clean laundry and putting the dried dishes back in the cabinets…

37) Put reminders for birthdays and major events in my phone as well as set a monthly reminder to check these promises. Maybe I’ll be able to keep more promises if I look at the list more often throughout the year!

38) Since I can’t afford to go to the salon, spa, etc. too much this year, I should at least do some self-care days at home. Will this be the year I finally manage to use all the fancy scrubs and face masks and bath salts I keep getting from people?

39) Use up one whole notebook. It doesn’t matter what goes in the notebook, but I gotta use the whole thing from cover to cover. I have so many pretty notebooks that never get used just because they’re pretty.

40) Change the burned-out lightbulbs in the recessed lighting in the Texas house ceiling. It’s like twelve feet high and the lightbulb charger stick I bought didn’t work, so I’m going to have to find someone with a ladder. Save me, handyman. Save me.

41) Build the pretty koi paper lantern my brother got me, or the Korean temple model my coworker gave me after his trip to Korea.

42) Actually use the yoga mat I bought forever ago. At least a few times, please???

43) Finish watching the Fruits Basket remake with Kacchan. I think we stopped in the second season, RIP.

44) Spend more time with coworkers—go out to lunch more often.

45) See about removing the PMI from at least one of my house loans to try to save money. I’ve been paying on these loans long enough I shouldn’t need PMI anymore.

46) Practice my German skills (or I guess other language skills?) by translating something at least once a month.

47) Get a new bookshelf. The current ones in both my office and foyer are already overflowing. @_@

48) Make more time to call people and talk on the phone. Texting is not the same. D;

49) Get the new COVID vaccine to stay healthy.

50) I will keep my promises!

Good luck, 2024’s me!

#50 promises #new year's resolutions #irl stuff #Echo is on the struggle bus #literally starting off Day One of the year with a cold #love this for me

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