Tumgik
#my friends call me the AA battery
ace-of-pussy · 14 days
Text
5 y/o me: *constantly rants about dragons, always wants to dress up as one and absorbs the How To Train Your Dragon series like a sponge*
13 y/o me: *exploring my sexuality and labels, coming across asexual and seeing it fitted me, looking for asexuality in the media*
me now: *showing symptoms for autism and openly using the asexual label, learning what a special interest is* oh it all makes sense now
657 notes · View notes
kedreeva · 2 years
Text
When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.
One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.
I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.
I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.
I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered.  When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.
She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.
I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.
And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think... I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.
So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.
50K notes · View notes
snixkers · 2 months
Text
Lost & Found
Tumblr media
Pairing: Spencer Reid × GN!Reader
Angst
For: Anonymous Request
Summary: After receiving notes from an unknown sender, you realize that your stalker is closer than you thought.
Content Warning: Abduction, stalking, restraints, canon compliant violence
Author's Note: Did my best! Anon wanted a PLL storyline, so I tried to incorporate that as best as I could.
Feedback is always welcome!
Requests are OPEN
It had been a week since the flowers had shown up on your doorstep with a note from ‘A’. You were certainly confused. You’d never dated anyone with a name that had an A, and none of your friends were confessing to it, so you were sure it was probably a fluke on the part of the delivery man.
Until it happened again. You were sitting at your desk when you got a call from an unknown number. You picked up, assuming it was a spam or a butt dial, when the voice spoke up.
How was work today?
The words sent a chill down your spine. Once could be written off as a mistake, but two times was enough to confirm what you were worried about. You had a stalker. Before you could reply, the caller hung up, leaving you dumbfounded at your desk.
You told the team, and they all did their best, but there wasn’t much even Garcia could do. The call had been traced to a payphone, and the flowers were paid for in cash. On the security cameras, the man was wearing enough to obscure any details that would have been important for identification. He was good.
The next couple weeks, you resigned yourself to just putting up with it. You carried pepper spray, tasers, anything you could. Your commute was now carpooling, and you used the buddy system to the best of your ability. But one day, the batteries in your smoke detector went out, meaning you were officially going insane from the noise.
You slipped into some sneakers to head to the convenience store down the street, grabbing your keys and phone.The streets were dark, with the occasional car passing by. You made your way inside and searched for the batteries before finally coming across a pack of AAs. The man standing at the register watched you come up, scan your items, and swipe your card. As you picked the package up, you noticed his nametag: Alex.
Oh, shit.
Something hit the back of your head and you passed out cold.
-----
The team had been searching for you relentlessly, calling in every favor possible. They tracked your credit card to the corner store, where they watched the cashier come up behind you and take you out. They found out he didn’t even work there, but they were able to track his car to a man named Alex Pinof.
The team pulled up outside his house, guns raised and ready to go. Derek kicked the door down and they swarmed the building, clearing the rooms. They found you in the basement, bound and gagged but otherwise unharmed. Hotch went to arrest Alex while Emily untied you, leading you out of the basement and up to the main floor.
Spencer pulled you into a tight hug and you returned the favor, gripping him as tight as possible.
“I was scared you weren’t going to find me.”
He shook his head, burying his face in the top of your head and giving it a small kiss.
“I’ll always find you.”
264 notes · View notes
cosplayinamerica · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
by Anna-Neko
Before all the endless online, digital everything, before FB and Insta, the “don’t u know how many followers…” & influencers nonsense, there was this man!
Kevin would take your photo, make small-talk & drop encouraging comments and make you feel a star! A former cosplay partner still fondly remembers how he would always know what she was cosplaying as! No matter how obscure! If he didn’t know the cosplay – he would ask about it! The interest always genuine. He seemed to remember everyone from con to con, and in later years when instead of running around he would set up a corner with a backdrop and do photos this way – he would jot down file numbers & email me full-size images after the event if asked.
So just a quick scene setting up. It is very easy to forget, but back then (1999 to maybe 2002~ish) there was waaaaay less conventions. There wasn’t an event happening every weekend, much less multiple events at same time! Digital cameras were not a thing. Well, obviously they existed, but your average otaku heading to an anime con might bring a cheap 35mm disposable camera (or maybe 3, if CVS had a multi-pack sale!).
Kevin’s FansView website was THE cosplay/cons site. He updated multiple times throughout the event, 2 or 3 times each day! There weren’t just photos of “hot people”, he tirelessly took photos of regular attendees, cosplayers of various ages and skill levels, guest & panel highlights…. If you weren’t lucky enough to be at the convention itself, seeing all his photos was the next best thing! In a few years we’d have con report galleries on Cosplay.com, Geocities and LinusLam …. but all these were _after the fact_, not during. Not quite the same, ya know?)
Even my mom knew his website, and during cons I’d call home during the weekend and she would excitedly tell me she was just on Kevin’s site and saw my photo!
Like, seriously…. we’d joke a con wasn’t a con until you either a) saw House of Anime truck in the parking lot, or b) ran into Mr Lillard.
Over the years there’s been all sorts of amazing run-ins with him. He would always make some jokes, and go above and beyond helping a fellow nerd – like the time my brand~new digital camera (in 2000! quite the expense!) suddenly died (6 AA batteries the monster ate) and he kindly tried to help me with both fresh batteries and advice, and when it looked like the camera wasn’t coming back he straight up took out his FILM CAMERA (again, this man was a pro! He always had a backup) and took photos of my cosplay and friends’, and handed me the finished roll
OR that other time my memory card was already full within literally first few hours of the convention (circa 2000, CompactFlash. Gigs? ha! Your PC might have 2 gigs hard drive and be a luxury. Memory cards ran in the Megabites) and this SAINT of a man helped by using HIS LAPTOP to let me clear out the card, email the zip file to myself then and there, and thus have memory space to take another 30~40 photos
or this Other OTHER time we were talking about shitty hotel hallway lights… And asked if he would mind popping with us outside real quick? He took the time to go! Outdoors into the sunshine! On the lawns by the hotel for a good 30 minutes! Thus giving us our first ‘proper’ cosplay photoshoot no less!! (freakin 2001, people!! pro~photoshoots or sheduling time-slots with an online-famous photog was not a thing. Not yet, not for another few years)
He made all us awkward weebs feel welcome from the get~go! Nobody had internet once left the house. No cellphones. Especially not a phone that could double as a hi-res camera. You came to the convention with a cheap disposable film camera, or none at all – hoping your friends brought one. Conventions didn’t have photo suites, no staff photogs… it was not a thing yet.
The other joke used to be “oh you’re at so-and-so con? Did you run into Kevin yet??” or “no no no, don’t change yet! We need to find Kevin!! You must be documented” (and if you had insane luck, you may even see that photo as convention cosplay coverage in an issue of Animerica months later!) For some of us, the only photos of those early costumes only exist because Kevin was there to take it.
#cosplayhistory
31 notes · View notes
awful-possum · 9 months
Text
Pink and Me: A Kirby Retrospective
I have a special spot in my heart for a small pink puffball that’s been around on this planet for as long as I have. I also think my gaming sensibilities were formed by this lil’ dude; always wanting to fully complete the games I played, vibing with a game’s soundtrack, replaying the game on a harder difficulty and just wanting to myself get better and faster at the game. I think I can owe it all to Kirby and that’s what I want to talk about: My journey through the Kirby series and how it’s shaped me into a dweeb that loves videogames and all things pink and powerful.
When I was growing up I played whatever games my Dad had in the house. Sega Genesis, Nintendo(NES) and Super Nintendo(SNES). It was fun! even if I was just given the second controller and faffed about. It wasn’t until I got my Game Boy Color(GBC) for my Christmas back in 1998 where I had a more direct way to play what I wanted. No sharing the SNES or Genesis with my Dad, even if I loved playing games with him. With 4 AA batteries, I could play a videogame whenever I wanted.
Tumblr media
Kirby’s Dream Land 2 was the first game of the series I ever played. I got it from my parents along with Pokémon Blue the same Christmas I got my GBC and let me tell you I was set for life. I sank so many hours into these games. Any time I was was in the car with my parents to go anywhere, I had my GBC and I was playing either Pokémon Blue or Kirby’s Dream Land 2. 
Tumblr media
 Kirby’s Dream Land 2(I’m going to call it Dream Land 2 for now) released for the original Game Boy on May 1st, 1995. I definitely received this game as a discounted price and that’s perfectly okay! Sometimes you gotta go back and play some older games you missed out on, even if it’s for budgetary reasons.
Now what’s going on in this game? Well, an evil entity known as Dark Matter have taken the rainbow bridges that connect the Rainbow Islands on Kirby’s home: Dream Land. Naturally, Kirby and his friends set out on an adventure to save Dream Land! Pretty simple stuff really but sometimes that’s all you need. 
Tumblr media
I love Kirby’s simplicity. The design philosophy of this series - to make the game simple enough for anyone to be able to pick up and play; made it easy for a dumb baby like me to just move Kirby around press the A button and press the B button. Dream Land 2 was an easy game to grasp the controls and understand what information is being delivered to you. The series creator, Masahiro Sakurai, has a youtube channel now and he talks about all the games he’s worked on amongst other game industry topics!
Right, so Kirby controls really well. And it’s fun to play as the puffball! Kirby can:
Run
Fly
suck Inhale
Shoot
Swallow
Pretty straightforward 2D platformer stuff really but the key factor to this series is Kirby’s mouth. While Kirby’s got a homie in his mouth, he can either spit them out as a projectile or he can swallow them. Now depending on the enemy, swallowing the enemy will either be nothing or Kirby will gain a Copy Ability. A new attack Kirby can gain by pressing the suck action button(B) again.
Tumblr media
These are the bread and butter of the franchise now and it might possibly be my favorite aspect of the series. When playing this game for the first time, it was so fun to learn and discover what powers the baddies would give me. My favorite power of this set was definitely Burning. It was a fiery tackle and the sound and screen shake of this copy ability when you hit a wall was peak design and it fired me up every time. I would just spam the B button when right next to walls. You get some vertical movement and a cool effect.And that’s just the kind of game Kirby is: have fun with these powers and do neat stuff with this new ability. Don’t like the ability? Just hit Select and Kirby tosses it away for you to inhale another baddie. The customization the Kirby games sort of give is really what helps give the player some autonomy with their own playthrough.
Speaking of abilities! Kirby now has some friends of his own to join in the adventure:
Rick The Hamster
Tumblr media
Coo the Owl
Tumblr media
and Kine the Fish
Tumblr media
Throughout the adventure, Kirby can rescue the coolest guys and they’ll tag along, enhancing Kirby’s innate moveset. Rick has a faster walk+run speed, Coo can have Kirby fly without puffing himself up and Kine helps out with the swimming levels. On top of these movement buffs, they can also combine with whatever copy ability Kirby has on him. And they each use the copy ability pretty differently! Just look at the differences with the Parasol copy ability!
Tumblr media
We’ve gut the total amount of copy abilities in this game compared to Kirby’s Adventure on the NES because we now have these combinations with our Animal Friends and it’s perfect for this portable excursion through Dream Land! Kirby enemies respawn when you move the screen forward and back so it was fun to just try out different combinations and bop all of baddies. 
Pokemon Blue felt more of like an adventure to me personally, but Dream Land 2 was a playground for me. A linear platformer where I got more than one opportunity to grab some of the toys and experiment with little-to-no consequence. Could I take enough damage and lose a life? Absolutely, but Dream Land 2, like the previous two games, was designed to be easily played by anyone. A very forgiving game that allows you to practice in real time to get used to the game at your own pace. No time limits in the Kirby games really. The game has this type of freedom that allowed me to replay the game multiple times, figuring out how to find the game’s main secret collectible the Rainbow Drops. You need to find a specific door and have a specific copy ability to access the collectible. Reaching these rooms and figuring out what copy ability I needed didn’t feel like a slog, the levels were easy to breeze through and I had fun making sure I had the correct copy ability throughout the whole level. That usually meant I had to go through without taking damage. once Kirby takes some damage the copy ability flies out of him. this was a way for the game to give you some form of difficulty, forcing yourself a copy ability until you find that secret room. The brilliant thing about this secret collectible is that there’s only one per world and the very first one is in a NOT secret room. It’s along the beaten path and once you get to the following worlds you’ll notice that these later islands don’t match up with the first one.
Tumblr media
A completed world when you find the secret Rainbow Drop has the rainbow drop appear on the world map! With Parasol being one of the first copy abilities you find and the first Rainbow Drop being on the main route, you start to think: “why doesn’t Island 2 look like Island 1?” And that’s how they game gets you, you start replaying levels, combing each screen by going into spaces you wouldn’t think accessible or just needing the right combination of animal buddy and copy ability!
Alright enough of this primer-talk. Let’s talk about these levels and why I dig them so much.
Tumblr media
I might be in the minority here but when it comes to video games, I’m very okay with Grass being World 1. And it might be because of my love of the Kirby franchise but I feel us Kirby fans are fed well when it comes to World 1s. We get beautiful hillsides and glades. Happy-go-lucky music that inspires adventure and whimsy.  Dream Land 2′s first world, aptly named: Grass Land, is probably one of the easiest versions of world 1 in the series. I don’t even think there’s any bottomless pits?? Just baddies in your way. It’s such a welcoming introduction for anyone. Grass Land is always a pleasant site to behold.
And we get a Boss fight that appears in practically every single Kirby game. My comfort blanket:
Whispy Woods
Tumblr media
Whispy Woods is a legit treat for everyone. Where with the Sonic franchise and the Mario series, getting repeat bosses and levels bring a groan of fatigue. Nearly everyone welcomes Whispy Woods with open arms, we become real tree huggers until we want to kick his ass for getting in our way. His combat prowess hasn’t really changed all that much throughout the years, he’s still spitting air at you and shaking apples on top of Kirby to try and harm him. He changes it up in other games but it’s more like an added move-list than a full change in the fight. Grass Land is some real comfy vibes and because of this franchise, I love generic *Grass* being our introduction to the game and game world.
Tumblr media
Big Forest is pretty cool with introducing the player to forced flying. There are higher elevated platforms that Kirby will have to fly to reach. We’re also shown more verticality with some parts of the stages. Having us climb tall trees with smaller bush/branch like platforms. And with our trusty Owl friend: Coo, it’s a lot easier to fly through this forest. Big Forest doesn’t leave a huge impression and the only things I really remember from it are Coo, Coo’s theme, and the boss fight’s gimmick.
Our boss in Big Forest is Nruff and Nelly
Tumblr media
Nruff and Nelly’s gimmick is that there are 3 levels with doors. the boss will randomly pop out of one of these doors and run across. Kirby has gotta bob and weave to deal damage without taking damage. It’s a gimmick that’s appeared in the Dream Land 1 and will appear again in Dream Land 3. It’s also used a couple of other times for some enemy gauntlet rooms.
Tumblr media
A fun gimmick overall, not too difficult to deal with! 
Tumblr media
We’re getting wet and wild here in Ripple Field
I don’t think the water levels in the Kirby games are all that bad. Kirby usually controls really well, he has a lil’ attack to blow bubbles at enemies and we get our Fish friend: KINE. Truly the bossest fish. He’s makes anything water related so much easier with the trade-off being he’s so clunky out of the water. Now, this seems obvious but I just want to reiterate having Kine on the ground is slow, clunky and staggered(?). Ripple Field starts us off easy with land before we dip our toe into the water. As we progress through the world, we’ll end up spending most of our time underwater than out of it. There’s no air meter either, just Kirby swimming around, having fun. And when we have Kine, Kirby can use his inhale attack again! Kine is a king and I love him for making water levels easy as hell to go through. Now for our boss, we got a bit of a challenge as we learn to dodge attacks in an auto-scrolling room.
Sweet Stuff
Tumblr media
A huge angler fish that has seastars, lightning bolts, Squid cannon-fodder called Squishies. Whether you’ve got Kine or not, you just gotta shoot him with some bubbles or bounce the sea stars back at him by inhaling or shooting bubbles at them. The difficulty has ramped up a bit as we’re dealing with more projectiles from the boss this time. Plus, we’re getting another staple in the Kirby series with a boss in a long corridor with a screen that automatically scrolls.
Almost halfway through the game! We’re now in
Tumblr media
Iceberg. These level names aren’t too creative let’s be real, especially compared to names like:
Green Greens
Vegetable Valley
Butter Building
YOGURT YARD
But hey, these are supposedly lil’ islands within Dream Land and we don’t even know who in Dream Land named them. It could straight up just be Kirby calling them simple things. Not that it really matters! Iceberg has one more level than the previous 3 worlds total, and as we progress through the game there’ll be another level added to each world. The kid gloves are coming off now, we got slippery floors, bottomless pits, wind pushing Kirby along and auto-scrolling rooms! We’re going to have a mid-boss in nearly every level and be switching through the animal buddies! Something I’ve always liked with the architecture(?) in Kirby games are these pillar things
Tumblr media
In Iceberg they have snow on top of them and it’s a really cute touch! I’m not very good at describing why music is good. But I know Iceberg’s theme fits so well for this Icy island. We’ll get better Icey music in later games but as an early title, it works great.
I love Ice Dragon so much
Tumblr media Tumblr media
He’s got such a simple orb-like design much like our Pink puffball. Ice Dragon is large and in charge. With an Ice Breath and a charge, he’s a force to be reckoned with when dealing with a slippery floor. His charge has icicles fall from the ceiling which Kirby uses to shoot back at him. It’s an easy challenge if you’re used to the ice physics, but don’t take these adorable orbs for granted. That’s the best aspect of the Kirby franchise really: adorable on the outside but a cold-hearted killer on the inside.
Tumblr media
Red Canyon is out next destination and we’re getting into some dangerous territory here. Lots of tricky sharp-angled platforms with bottomless bits and enemies directly in your path forward. One of the more well-known pieces of music shows up as Red Canyon’s theme, it’s appeared in Kirby’s Adventure for Yogurt Yard and will show up in many more Kirby games. It’s a little too jolly for this dangerous mountain but still invokes the strength to press on. Red Canyon is famous for a certain room in Level 5, a pattern of blocks are seemingly in the shape of a woman and this is a secret I never knew about until a few years ago!
Tumblr media
Does this make the game better? absolutely not. I genuinely can’t imagine WHY this is in the game outside of just some very young, perverted developers. Game designers are crazy, y’all. I don’t know what to tell you.
Boss time! One of the most famous boss fights and another recurring pair of characters: Mr. Shine and Mr. Bright
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The sun and moon are fighting and Kirby is caught in the middle! You can defeat them like other bosses and enemies, shooting stars at them, using your copy ability. you know the deal. Now the difficulty is ramped up by their speed and the fact that there are just two bosses to deal with! They have this really rad as fuck “eclipse attack” where you gotta hide in the shadows to not take damage.
Tumblr media
 I always love fighting these two and enjoy seeing them in some capacity. Bunch of bickering idiots.
Tumblr media
We’re getting closer to our destination. Cloudy Park is next and we’ve climbed the mountain in Red Canyon and have reached the clouds!
It’s getting harder now, dealing with wind currents over bottomless pits, tight corridors with invincible enemies, and a variety of terrain types within the cloud and rooms. Cloudy Park and it’s future sky zone contemporaries in the future games always give me trouble. I think I lose some patience and just try to rush through the levels and end up getting slapped in the face and fall to my doom. Dream Land 2 left some scars I suppose. But like always, when you got your animal buddies it’s a lot easier.
We get our next recurring boss fight for the series. Kracko Jr. and Kracko!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Like Whispy Woods, we see Kracko a bunch throughout the franchise and it’s always great to see the creepy eyeball cloud. There’s some iterations that give me trouble as his moveset doesn’t drastically change except for maybe his movement speed? Having an boss that is constantly off the ground is a bit troubling to get used to when we’ve had relatively grounded enemies. Kracko tests players with its speed and multitude of attacks. Though he can be a cakewalk with the right copy ability.
Can you feel it? This pressure? We’ve finally made it
Tumblr media
to Dark Castle
We’ve walked along the clouds to reach Dark Castle, the wicked island in the sky. A world with the most levels in the game and a mid-boss in every level. Kirby and friends are truly tested in this world and I love its aesthetic. The darker tileset, the frantic worrying theme of the world along with all the enemies and mid-bosses. It really feels like the end of our journey as we enter this dark castle and make our way upwards, overcoming the danger.
Dream Land 2 has two endings, an ending for just beating the game and the other ending is when you collect all of the Rainbow Drops. When you don’t collect them all, your final boss is the possessed King Dedede!
Tumblr media
Look at this Penguin dork. Probably the second most recognizable character from the entire series. He gets possessed by the big bad Dark Matter and when you defeat him without all of the Rainbow Drops, Dark Matter leaves King Dedede’s body and flies up to the sky. Giving us a cutscene of Kirby and friends walking back home in the rain, with Kine looking back up to the sky worried about Dark Matter. It’s some real somber stuff! I felt like I did something wrong! So I went back into the game to find all of the Rainbow Drops.
Now once Kirby and the gang collect every Rainbow Drop, King Dedede becomes the first phase of a three phase final boss! The Rainbow Drops combine into the Rainbow Sword and we proceed to fight Dark Matter!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
LOOK AT THESE BADDIES!! Defeating Dark Matter’s true form completes the game and we are given the true ending. A feat to achieve for lil’ ‘ole me back in 1998-1999. I was so proud of myself seeing the 100% on my save file after completing this game. Dream Land 2 was such a fun experience for 6 year old me. Getting 100% in Dream Land 2 unlocks Sound Test and a Boss Rush mode. I took advantage of these modes, always listening to the lil’ sound bits and level music. I would run the boss rush mode repeatedly, trying to complete it faster and faster. Because of this game I strive to get 100% on games to get the most of out the game, not having that many video games helped this a bit, but I liked playing these games to completion.
The music, the character design, the copy abilities, Kirby got its hooks in me, and I wouldn’t say I became a die hard fan of the series just yet. But I was definitely made aware how fun these games could be and I wanted another game on my Game Boy that’s got the pink puffball on the cover and the next one I get is:
Tumblr media
Thank you so much for listening to my ramblings. I really loved just talking about this game and I probably could’ve gone into it a bit more all things considered. But I was sort of going off my own memory of the game while using images from The Kirby Wiki. While just talking about a game that I’m not fully sure a lot of people played? Most people talk about Super Star or any Kirby game after that.
This was the first of hopefully many self-indulgent blogs! With social media going to shit even more so than usual, I thought I could stop lurking on Tumblr and actual use it to just talk out into the ether. I’ll definitely get better at writing out my thoughts maybe even plan out how I wanna talk about these topics lol.  If you read through this whole thing I can’t thank you enough, I really appreciate it!
4 notes · View notes
thelittledudeok · 1 year
Text
The Cross-Dimension Body Swap|Ch. 1
Before you read, I want you to know that this is one of the first times i've written, so please tell me if I did anything wrong. I will accept brutal honesty.
Jenny is what some people call an NPC. She has never had an original idea her whole life except for her online username. When she went to school, the only time she would talk is if the teacher called on her. Even though Jenny never cared for anything, she loved collecting loose change… pennies, preferably. 
She knew that pennies were useless, but her father collected them before he died. Before that, Jenny thought it was stupid. She wasn’t ever happy except when searching. But today she found one that instead of the usual copper, was more yellow. It said on the front, “Do Not Flip.”
It was flipped without hesitation.
--------------------------
Bob has what some people call rizz. At least 99% of the girls at the school had a crush on him. The reason It wasn’t 100, was because the other 1% were lesbian. His parents also own a huge factory to mine 2 rare resources. The first was salt. Salt was so rare, there were only 4 salt mines in the world! The other resource was some weird copper that the ruler wanted for some reason.
Don’t even think about the rich-handsome-boy-is-a-stupid-bully stereotype. He wasn’t stupid. He had only A+ grades. As for the bully part? Absolutely! That is what made everything so bad. One of his victims snuck in over the legal limit of salt(5 grains) into his cauldron while he wasn’t looking. He looked back as his pink demon-healing potion into a green…something potion.
The next thing he knew, he saw a flash of green light, and he was unconscious.
----------------------
Hatty wasn’t sad that his friend, Vase, died. If anything, he was slightly annoyed. All Hatty had to do was press a button on the Recovery Center. Vase came back, good as new! He started looking for Boot, his favorite person in this whole show! A few weeks ago, Hatty was created for the sole purpose of playing in a fun competition against other objects. The host, who was an entire deck of cards, would be arriving soon to decide who goes to what team.
Hatty heard Tire popping, so he decided to recover him. But the Recovery Center was broken! It’s okay, Hatty thought, I’ll just plug then unplug! But he didn’t find the plug. Instead, he found batteries in the back. “We need AA batteries over here!”, he shouted. He was taking the 12th battery out when suddenly he got zapped with Recovery Center electricity! This isn’t good! He’ll either survive and never die again, or die and never come back. 
Then, everything went black.
---------------------
When Jenny woke up, she didn’t feel right. Like, she was fine, but she felt different. Then she looked down and saw that she was a man.
“He’s awake! I thought I killed Bob for sure!”
She stood up and felt hi- he- the face that was being used by Jenny. When she felt pointed ears she knew what had happened. She had her body swapped with a real-life witch.
--------------------
When Bob woke up, he didn’t feel right. When he went to put a hand to his head because of a headache, he couldn’t. He had no arms. And he was a hat.
“He’s alive! I thought Hatty was dead for sure!”
He looked down at a giant boot holding him up, then a deck of cards showed up, and said to split into 2 groups of 10. That’s when he knew. He had joined an object show.
-------------------
When Hatty woke up, he didn’t feel right. Actually, he could feel more than usual. He then looked at the hands. That was attached to his body. That he could move.
“She’s alive! I thought Jane Doe here was dead!”
Hatty ran away as fast as he could away, but not before he shouted “My name is Hatty!”.
That’s when he knew. Dying permanently wasn’t that bad!
8 notes · View notes
Note
Hiiii I saw that you did matchups and altho idek if I’m doing this right I wanna ask for a Mystic Messenger matchup if that’s okay?
My name is Sammy, I use she/her, I’m a pisces and INFJ and my love language is usually gift giving and quality time. I call myself an overachiever with no motivation as I graduated with high grades in high school while also graduating with an AA degree and immediately after went back to school to get my BS degree. For why? The world may never know.
As stated I have my BS and it is in Game Art. My biggest interests are Art, Music, and Video Games. I really like anything with creativity in all honesty. I usually do digital art but I love traditional, painting, chalk art, etc. and I’d love to learn more.
I am obsessed with cats, there has not been a day in my life where I have lived without cats. I got an ESA cat as it just makes me feel the most safe. I am an animal lover all around tho, as I have owned puppies, fish, guinea pigs, gecko’s, birds, a chinchilla, and more.
I’m quite the introvert but have a loud personality. My friends have called my style pastel goth. I always have dyed hair, usually hot pink, and most of my closet is pink. I REALLY like pink. I’m 5’2 and love wearing 6 inch platforms, my favorite pair is obviously pink. I can be pretty giggly and excited when around people I’m comfortable with, but I do as well need to pay attention to my social battery. Sometimes (or really most of the time) I just want to lay in bed with some hot chocolate and read, listen to music, or watch something on TV or YouTube. It’s nicer when I’m doing it with someone I love and am most comfortable with. My social battery is always safe with someone I love.
I don’t think I dislike a lot of things but I of course have some. Children (I’m okay with them, I just get annoyed easily.), Germs (which goes back to another reason why I don’t like children oops), Spiders, and a big fear of mine of mine is Failure. I can be a perfectionist and that is both a strength and weakness for me.
Okay, I hope I didn’t say too much haha. I’m open to be matched with anyone, I’m very curious on what you might say. Thank you!! :-)
I match you with...
V!
A creative soul that is torn and twisted by the inability to discern the next step. You're the kind of person that has a strong sense of the person that you would like to be but it doesn't always come across that way to other people. You may be loud and vibrant but you're much more mysterious than most people would realize. It's common for artistic types to fall into the trope where you think you know them but you don't. It's why it's easier to get along with somebody who understands where you're coming from. In this case, that person happens to be V. You sure love and passion for figuring out the way that things work and coming to understand how those things make the world around you tick.
The way that the two of you like to spend time together comes from trying new things and enjoying those experiences. You could likely spend quite a while talking about what you felt as you were going through something and he would gladly listen because perspective is one of the things that he has valued for such a long time. It's compelling to him when he sees you get lost in the throes of talking about what makes you happy while holding your cat. There's something very simplistic about that sort of living and he is a very much of minimalist when it comes to the simple things in life. He can enjoy it that way.
3 notes · View notes
stocky2016 · 5 days
Text
Tumblr media
"Hello! I've got aa New CV"
I'm Skye, a "Sprocker" by definition. *1
and it's on my Vet record i'm just five years old
Geoff rescued me from the Birmingham Dogs' Home...
I was an abandoned doggy or so I was told.
Left tied to a gate in the middle of nowhere with
no food, no bed just darkness the cold and wet
A kind young couple found me and took me to B.D.H *2
there a new life started, with the love and affection I was to get.
It was like being re-born but into this loving home
I was taken long walks through the local fields
I get to frolic in blue-bell woodlands carpeted with flowers
fed and watered and my training was rewarded and real.
I get rewarded for doing things my master approves of
I socialise with other dogs and now have loads of friends,
People I meet often stroke and seem to like me
I behave in private and public places no rules do I bend.
I have an operation at the beginning of May
they call it being spayed but I've a slight lump that also needs to go
My master seems confident I'm insured and covered
so I'm not too worried let's go, go, go.
I've had all my vaccinations and I'm ready to travel
I think a holiday in France is planned
Yes, my Rabies vaccination was part of that
I just need my "overseas travel certificate" as I understand.
I've now been groomed by my Auntie Debbie a couple of times
And now feeling smarter and fitter than ever.
I've even got a microchip just in case
In the unlikely event I got lost, which I hope is never.
I meet a lot of other like minded "rescue dogs" like me
in the dog-friendly pubs I visit
Geoff likes the occasional beer so I get to benefit
once in a while out socialising as he thinks fit.
So if I ever bump into you , remember, my name's Skye
I'm a much happier and friendly Spaniel lady,
I love being stroked and if you've got any tasty-treats
I have a huge appetite I'm like those batteries "ever-ready"
If you have a dog yourself I love to chase, play
or dash off to retrieve balls and things
no matter how far or often they're thrown.
I'm just so happy now, I don't bark, I just want to "sing!"
© G.P.S. 25th April 2024
(Graphics self-owned by GPS and Hannah Gabriel)
0 notes
anna-neko · 1 year
Text
http://4NN.cx/.191951
here I was goin on about some cosplay nonsense, while an early anime cons CORNERSTONE of a man has passed away
RIP Kevin Lillard (of A Fan's View**) Always having a kind word to say to ALL cosplayers, and taking photos of any & all of them that would hold still long enough for his camera to click He has single-handedly inspired many an anime nerd to pick up a camera as a hobby, doubly-so for Cosplay Photography
He took thousands of photos of us, here's one I got of him at NekoconFlash! you were a warm and welcoming presence at cons, sir! You will be greatly missed
Tumblr media
** the old site is long gone, but has been archived by ACP if anyone wants to see what awkward bebi nerds we were back then https://www.acparadise.com/acs/display.php?a=62186
Before all the endless online, digital everything, before FB and Insta, the "don't u know how many followers…" nonsense there was this man! It didn't matter if this was your 1st con or 50th, if your cosplay was a glowing mecha or thiftstore find held together with pins & PartyCity wig… He would take your photo, make small-talk & drop encouraging comments and make you feel a star! (a former cosplay partner still fondly remembers how he would always know what she was cosplaying as! No matter how obscure!) Like, i cannot stress this enuff - any shapes and skill-levels - he would gladly take the photo! For many a con veteran (fuck, hows it been decade+ already?!?!) his may be the ONLY photos that exist of those early costumes. Or very well be the first time someone has even asked to take your photo at the thing He made all us awkward weebs feel welcome from the get~go. The joke used to be "oh you're at so-and-so con? Did you run into Kevin yet??" or "no no no, don't change yet! We need to find Kevin!! You must be documented" (and if you had insane luck, you may even see that photo as convention cosplay coverage in an issue of Animerica months later!)
He took hundreds of photos during a convention, and posted on his site every day! And I don't mean snaps of just the "hot" ones, or "interwebz famous" no no no , it was a genuine comprehensive truly a FAN's view of the event: cosplayers of all kinds, fellow fans, panels and guests! Photos of EVERYONE and EVERYTHING
all the rest of the otaku at home would be hitting the site to see exactly what the current-happening Anime Con had goin on (there wasn't multiple anime cons each weekend back then) ...somehow... his bandwidth held up...
Hell, even my mom would specifically go online when I would be away at con; during nightly check-in phone calls she would excitedly let me know she saw my photo! On his site!
fuck... i am just rambling now.... But over the years there's been all sorts of encounters... like the time my brand~new digital camera (in 2000! quite the expense! when all us still shot on disposable-film camera from the drugstore) suddenly died (6 AA batteries the monster ate) and he kindly tried to help me with both fresh batteries and advice, and when it looked like the camera wasn't coming back he straight up took out his FILM CAMERA (again, this man was a pro! He always had a backup) and took photos of my cosplay & friends' and handed me the finished roll Or that time we saw him aiming at us, and flailed, "no wait!!" running down the escalator, "wait!! We have a pose for this!! Let us pose!" OR THE OTHER TIME my microscopic memory card was already full (circa 2000, 32MB CompactFlash) and this SAINT of a man helped by using HIS LAPTOP to let me clear out the card, email the zip file to myself and thus having space to take another 30~40 photos for the day
or this Other OTHER time we were talkin about shitty hotel hallway light... And asked if he would mind going with us outside instead? He took the time to go! Outdoors into the sunshine! On the lawns by the hotel!! Thus giving us our first 'proper' cosplay photoshoot!! (freakin 2001, people!! Shit like this wasn't the norm yet)
...this needs another photo! Here's Kevin in a silly cat-ears hat at that Animazement
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
oatbugs · 2 years
Text
UPDATE ON HOW TODAY WENT W MY CRUSH
#IT WENT SO WELL OK#we went to camden and saw so many cute n pretty places and we were like yk what lets get some food n walk around but we were so fucking .#indecisive we used heads or tails dkdj . i got gifts 4 my friend's birthday present and they met this shopkeeper at one of the stalls that#led us to this other new market in camden and we were like ??? wow secrets . anyway we went to soho and i was like . do u wanna link arms !#and they were like yes#and we kept wandering around and exploring and talking etc and at some point they let go bc we were abt to enter a shop but then afterwards#when we came back out i was like do you wanna hold my hand or arm and they got rly blushy n they were like i dont know aa and i was like !#hand then ! and we just held hands p much the WHOLE TIME and before i left i was like . was this a date#and they were like . yes i think if you want it to be it was ! and krhfdj theyre so cute . ANYWAY I GOT STRANDED IN LONDON#basically . my phone was at like 2% so we were in this bubble tea place n i was like would u guys mind charging my phone and they plugged#it in . so at 26% we left and i realised that despite not using my phone AT ALL by the time i was abt to leave it was at 9% .#so anyway i was abt to cross the train gates w my contactless thing and my phones battery percentage went 9 8 7#and i ran to a security guard and said hey i have to catch a train and my phone is as you can see DYING so he was like ok ill take it to#the office to charge it so im out here all alone for a solid like 20 mins like shit im gonna miss my train and he comes out and tells me#its been charged 13% and as soon as he gave it to me it went . 12 . 11.#so he told me to shut it down and had to call the other station to tell them to let me in for free bc my phone is trying to end me#basically i ran to euston and made it to the right platform hopped on the train and there was NO ONE I MEAN 0 PPL#so i left the train and i was like . hey mr guardman why is the train Not Leaving and he was like oh services to [my destination] are#terminated until tmrw :) and i was like well ok if i turn on my phone its gonna go down super quickly. basically i ended up#calling my crush and they wouldnt respond so i was like . shit ill call my parents . and they just happened to be like 4 mins away ??#so now im at my parents house lmao but basically i was in the car w them on my way and my crush called me like HEY IM ALMOST AT EUSTON IM#SORRY I COULDNT RESPOND BUT I ASSUMED U GOT STRANDED SO IM HERE TO PICK U UP#and i felt SO BAD i had to be like no i sorted it out . omg i feel horrible#anyway#yeah#so yh#personal
18 notes · View notes
in-tua-deep · 3 years
Note
idk if you still do au ideas but what if delores was a real person in the apocalypse? how it woul dbe done i have no idea but i love all your aus and thought it would be cool
okay okay I don't tend to go for real!Dolores aus admittedly because I find her much more compelling as what she is: a reflection of five himself and a symptom of his crushing loneliness
but i started thinking about it and you know what?? i think five deserves a little socialization, as a treat
so say like, 0.5% of the population is resistant to abilities. Allison would really struggle to rumor them, Five wouldn't be able to jump with them, and, most importantly, whatever the fuck Vanya's ability does has like, reduced damage or something
and the og apocalypse isn't the moon apocalypse, so let's say that it was pure waves of Vanya's powers that fucked over the earth
so 0.5% of the population survives the apocalypse. though, let's be honestly, the real number is a lot smaller than that. People who might have survived Vanya's initial power wave (miraculously) did not survive buildings crushing them or survive the car/plane/bus/train/other transportation crashes or survive being left alone when they are too young to reliably look after themselves, or the variety of other problems that come with 99.5% of the population dying at once
So, Five arrives in the apocalypse and is met with ruin and fire and a whole lot of dead people. He finds his siblings, but it doesn't matter. They're dead. He doesn't even recognize them at first, these strange grown-ups who he identifies not by their faces but by the umbrellas on their wrists that match his own
As he realizes the full impact of his situation, he hears a voice that says, very succinctly, "holy shit!"
It's a girl a few years older than Five himself, maybe 15 or 16, and she is very excited to see another survivor.
And here's where I u-turn this au around bc i'm not all that interested in real!Dolores, but I would be down to talk about Five meeting survivors in the apocalypse, because if Dolores is real I don't buy no one else survived.
So Dolores shows up and see a Literal Child crying over the corpses of his family and assumes that Five is a fellow survivor, and she immediately grabs him up. Five is incoherent with grief at this point anyway, so he doesn't even protest when she basically hauls him away from the bodies. She's babbling at him, but he doesn't really hear anything she's saying
And then she takes him to her dad
(Why not, let's have the 1% potentially be a heritable thing)
and her dad, let's call him just some dad name. like Rick. it has been a fucking WEEK for him, okay. he had his daughter with him, his ex-wife is on the other coast for her work, and by some miracle he survived the apocalypse and so did his child, and he's been wracking his brains trying to figure out what the fuck to do next
and then his daughter shows up with a traumatized thirteen-year-old in tow
now rick is a good dude. he's a dad. they get out of five that his name is five ("what the fuck" dolores mouths to him over five's shoulder and rick can't help but agree) and the bodies he found were his siblings ("Dad and Ben and Vanya weren't there though," this child cries desperately and rick feels his own heart clench in response, "They might still be alive!")
"We can look for them." Rick assures his new adopted child, because he is an adult in a fresh apocalypse and this kid has presumably lost everything he's ever known (more than rick even knows at the time)
and they do. They each get wagons and they go out and find supplies and look for other survivors. Five is... surprisingly helpful and also surprisingly docile as he is able to rely on Someone Else to give orders while he attempts to (dissociate) process what the fuck has happened
and here's the thing: Five prides himself on being independent, sort of. He's independent for a child soldier, but he's used to taking orders from a male authority figure and Rick happens to be just that
The first time that Five does something dangerous and Rick yells is a revelation
(Rick isn't sure if he hopes that Five's dad is alive or not, because if they find that man alive then Rick might just kill the jackass himself. Also like, Five is bizarrely knowledgeable out survival skills, like way too knowledgeable about it, which is helpful for them but also very concerning)
they find a newspaper and Five finds the article that mentions his father's recent death ("Huh. Heart attack." Five says, and there is no emotion in his voice)
(Years later, years later, Five and Rick talk. "I don't think I wanted to find him, either." Five admits, softly because Dolores is asleep, "I think I was more scared of finding him alive than I was of finding his body. He would've been so mad at me, I think.")
this newspaper is how Rick and Dolores find out about Five being Number Five, Umbrella Academy Missing Person
"Dude, what the fuck." Dolores says, wide eyes, "You're like, thirty?"
"I'm thirteen." Five says, and then checks the date on the newspaper again, "Also I think I would technically be 29 if I lived through all of it, 'cause it's April and my birthday is in October."
"You... time travelled?" Rick asks, which is honestly the more relevant question, "Can you go back?"
And Five just,,, crumples on himself. Because he tried, he tried really hard. It didn't work. "I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to save them."
That, Rick thinks, is a lot of weight to put on one person's shoulders, but especially the shoulders of a child.
"Alright." Rick says, because what else can he say after finding out his new child has superpowers and is from like, 2004? "What do you need?"
("Oh my god I have so many memes to teach you." Dolores says later, reverently. Five blinks in confusion and Rick mentally prepares himself for the recitation of so many vines)
And it's easier, somehow. Five sometimes feels like it's a betrayal, but he settles into apocalypse life with an ease that surprises him.
He lets Rick fuss over him and help tie his scarf securely around his head every morning before he sets off on supply runs with Dolores. And they're kids! Five has never had a friend before, and Dolores is funny and smart and she's struggling just as much as he is.
"I don't know if my mom's alive." She says to him, in solidarity when he checks the face of every corpse to see if they're Vanya.
Five is practical in the way only a child soldier can be. He's economical with the room in their wagons, carefully examining what might and what might not be useful.
Dolores, on the other hand, constantly takes up space with what Five sees as useless shit.
"Excuse you," Dolores says, shoving a game of monopoly, the entire discworld series, and a pack of glitter gel pens into her wagon, "These are absolutely vital apocalypse supplies."
She challenges him, plays with him in a way no one ever has. "I bet you I can find more batteries today than you can," She grins at him, "Winner gets to pick dinner first?"
"You're on." Five says, directly before Dolores pulls two packs of 24 AA batteries from behind her back, like a cheat.
Dolores makes him take a ten minute break when they find a playground that has been mostly not-destroyed. They rummage around kids backpacks and mother's handbags for some good loot, too numb to corpses to even be bothered all that badly about the corpses they belong to.
"I'm getting on the swings." Dolores says when Five starts making noises about moving on, "I haven't been on a swingset in ages."
"What's the point?" Five grumps.
"Don't be sour because you can't swing as high as I can!" Dolores laughs, getting higher and higher as the swings creak ominously.
Five grumpily gets into the other swing and grudgingly kicks himself back and forth until Dolores takes pity on him and teaches him how to properly move his legs and body to get higher and higher.
Dolores jumps from the swing seat and lands with a flourish and smile. Five jumps out of his seat and then jumps, warping right in front of Dolores and making her yell and hit at him in outrage. Five smiles the widest he has all week.
This is how Five grows up in the apocalypse, with Dolores teasing him into taking breaks and leaning over his shoulder to look at his math and scandalizing him by stating that she'd only just started on matrices in her own high school math class.
Every night they huddle around Rick while he picks up whatever book Dolores picked out that day because it is a travesty that Five has never read hunger games or whatever, and then they read together because it would be a genuine blood bath if they all took turns. The first time Five accidentally mentioned a spoiler and Dolores genuinely considered murder was the birthday of this tradition
Some days the air is too smoky or there are dust storms or it's just plain too dangerous to go out, and they all stay in. Dolores regales Five with stories about public school, and Five tells them about his siblings.
Then they all cry
"I shouldn't be crying." Five sobs.
"Shut the fuck up," Dolores sobs back, "You literally watched me lose my shit over remembering my shitty eighth grade dance and listened to me sob-sing toxic for like four hours."
"In fairness I also wished you would shut up then."
"Let me hug you or I will start singing songs that I only remember the chorus for again you absolute fucker."
"I could always sing some -"
"No, Rick/Dad."
And Five grows up. Rick shows him how to shave very carefully in front of cracked mirrors. Dolores teases him every time his voice cracks. Rick tells Five in no uncertain terms that he loves and cares for him, and that Reginald was a little bitch. There are a lot of heartfelt conversations around that, honestly. Rick telling Five that he and the siblings deserved better, that they were children and deserved to have a childhood.
And that he has faith in Five. Rick and Dolores both do, they bring him back paper and pens and pencils and chalk and anything Five can use to write equations. They poke around any libraries for books on theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Rick and Dolores go out scouting for food while Five stays home and can work longer.
They also make him take breaks, make sure that he's looking after himself.
They're a little better off than OG!Five when it comes to food, because some animals survive. Enough that Rick figures out how to hunt. Five is the first one to each bugs, and even though Dolores makes faces they all start eating bugs as well.
"Pretty sure there's loads of cultures that eat bugs." Rick says grudgingly, wondering if he should try stirfry the cockroaches and if that would improve the taste. "There's even, uh, cricket flour or whatever, right?"
"Plus you eat like, five spiders a year when you're asleep." Dolores says cheerfully, just to watch her dad's face scrunch up in displeasure.
"That doesn't sound true, but I don't know enough about spiders to dispute it." Five mutters, and Dolores gives him such a proud look that it makes him roll his eyes.
They're in their thirties when Rick dies. He's out foraging and hunting, and the rubble he's standing on gives way and he ends up with a gash in his leg. He manages to stop the bleeding, but the world is filthy and they don't have any antibiotics.
He gets an infection.
"It's okay." He tells both of his kids, "It's okay. I'm just so glad that you guys have each other, y'hear? I'm so glad."
"It's not okay." Five says, voice thick and choked, "It's not."
"Yeah, well, you're going to figure out how to go back, right? Go back in time and save everyone. Then I'll have never died, right?" Rick smiles, "And even if you don't, I'll be waiting for you on the other side and we'll see each other again anyway."
"I'm going to fix it."
"I know. I have faith in you, Five." Ricks says honestly, and that's more than Reginald ever said.
They sit quietly together while Dolores is out scavenging. They've been taking turns sitting with Rick.
"I won't remember you, in the past, will I?" Rick says rhetorically, but Five answers anyway.
"I don't think so."
Rick hums, "Well, doesn't matter. If you need help in the past, you come to me, y'hear?"
"You won't remember me."
"Doesn't matter. You come find me, and you tell me your crazy story until I believe you, and then I'll help you." Rick says firmly, "You're family. You're my son. Timelines? Don't matter. If you need help, with anything, even if it's just with - with filling out a bowling team or something -"
"I have never been bowling in my life and you know it." Five interrupts, but it makes him laugh just a little bit which was clearly Rick's intention.
"Well who knows what you'll get up to in the past! You'll be able to go bowling, you know. Get to wear those uncomfortable shoes. Hey, you go far enough back maybe you can go to Dolores's tenth birthday party and put me out of my misery."
"Was she bad at bowling?"
"Oh, she was wiping the floor with me. No contest."
"Honestly, that sounds absolutely accurate."
"Shut up, bowling just wasn't my sport. Regardless, the point was that I'm giving you a free pass to come and get me. Because I know you, I know how you think." Rick brings up his hand to tap his finger against Five's forehead, "You get it into your head that you need to go it alone, take it all on your shoulders. I'm telling you that if you do that I'll somehow manifest my memories and come smack you over the head for being stupid, you hear?"
"I'm not dragging you into anything." Five says firmly, "I'll have my siblings."
"Who were also children." Rick points out. "And dragging? Dragging is such a strong word for a volunteer."
"A volunteer who won't remember volunteering." Five shoots back.
Rick just shrugs, and then winces when the movement jolts his bad leg. "Five, I'm going to be honest with you here. And sappy. Can you handle a bit of sappiness for a minute?"
"No."
"Well too bad. Can't leave a dying man, you'd feel too bad. So you're stuck with me. But you listen good, okay? Because you aren't dragging me into anything. Whatever life you have, I want to have a part of that. Because you're my son. Wherever you are, whatever you do, I want to help because you're family. What you'd be doing by leaving me out of it is depriving me of someone I love, depriving me of knowing one of the best kids I've ever known."
"Shut up." Five says, choked.
"Nope, it's sappy time." Rick states, "Maybe asking you to come find me is selfish, but I don't care. No matter what version of me exists, I want to be in your life."
"My life is a walking joke, why would you want any part of that?"
"It has been my privilege to watch you grow up. To help you. To be here for you. Of course I'd want to be there to watch you grow up the rest of the way."
"But -"
"Shut up, just let me tell you that I am so proud of you. You never give up, and your heart is so big. You love so much and so loudly, and it's been the highest honor of my life to be included in your family."
Five pauses for a moment to collect himself before simply saying - "You're the best dad I've ever had."
Rick snorts, "Considering my competition, I'd sure hope so. That bar was so low old Reggie was practically limbo dancing with the devil. Now get over here and give an old man a hug."
They don't bury Rick, when he dies. They don't have time and the ground is too hard and they don't have the heart to move him. Instead the pack everything up and seal him in the shelter they'd lived in.
Dolores pulls out a bottle of ancient nail polish and painstakingly writes Rick's name on the wall with his birth year and an approximate current year. They aren't 100% sure though, since time blends together out in the apocalypse, but it's something.
They continue by themselves. They get older.
Dolores jokingly calls him her husband because the way his face scrunches up makes her cackle. They see other people very occasionally, usually passing through. Usually groups. Dolores and Five get to flex their hosting skills, though more than one group declines their cockroach stirfry.
("It's a family recipe." Five says with amusement in his eyes that usually manages to drown out old grief.)
"Jeeze, that kid couldn't have been older'n twenty-three." Dolores complains, "Makes me feels positively ancient."
"They wouldn't have known any world 'cept for the apocalypse." Five muses, pouring some boiled water into wine glasses because they might be living in the apocalypse but they can be fancy.
"Do you ever think about that?" Dolores asks, turning to him with no judgement, just curiosity. "When you go back, you'll be like, erasing them from existence."
Five shrugs, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this place will just split off into an alternate timeline."
"Maybe none of this is real." Dolores says, amusement coloring her voice. "Maybe you aren't talking to a real person at all. Maybe this is just a symbol of your insanity and cracked mind."
"Dolores, I literally have a scar where you stabbed me. Did I somehow manage to stab myself in the back?"
"Scraped you, I scraped you. By accident."
"So you maintain." Five says haughtily, swirling his water in his wine glass like a pretentious prick.
"I could totally be fake. You don't know my life."
"I know way too much about you, Dolores. Like, way way too much." Five scoffs, because Dolores and him have literally no secrets from one another at this point. Five even knows the truth behind what happened at Janet Scranton's thirteenth birthday party. Like, he said, way too much.
"Maybe you made it up. Maybe that's why you know so much."
"Dolores, I'm going to be honest with you right now." Five presses the tips of his fingers to his chin, "If you were a figment of my imagination, you would be so much better at math."
"Hey!" Dolores squawks indignantly, "I didn't even get to finish high school you pretentious prick!"
"Neither did I!"
"You didn't even go to high school, you brat."
"I'm fifty-two I think I've outgrown 'brat.'"
"Tell that to your attitude." Dolores says haughtily, "You're still younger than me."
"Won't be when I go back in time." Five says cheerfully, completely ignoring Dolores's venomous look.
"That's cheating."
"Sucks to suck." Five says loftily, taking another sip of his water.
Sometimes they talk about The Plan, with capital letters. What Five is going to do when he goes back in time, depending on when he pops out. Is he going to adopt his siblings? What about Reginald?
"You don't think I could kill Reginald?" Five says, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.
"I think you should let me do it. I'll even give you control of tonight's music if you do."
"What are you doing to do? Bite his ankles? What if you're like, seven or something?"
"All the better to get away with it since I'll be too young to convict or whatever."
"Pretty sure that's not how the law works."
"How would you know? Just for that I'm playing Istanbul on repeat again."
"I don't know why you think that's a threat. That song slaps."
It takes a few more years before Five is close enough that the Commission comes to interfere. Because that's what I think happened - Five was getting too close and they stepped in because they might as well distract the man as much as they can with missions, right?
So the Handler shows up. And she offers Five a job, telling him that they have the ability to travel through time. And Five - hesitates.
"Give me some time?" Five asks, and the Handler graciously gives him 24 hours.
And he and Dolores talk it over, because now that his goal is more in sight than it has ever been and Five is scared.
"What are you waiting for? You have the chance to see your siblings again." Dolores says patiently.
"Yeah," Five says, and what he doesn't say is clear. But I won't see you.
"Five." Dolores says, and she cradles his face between her palms like he is something precious, "I have had so much time with you already. More than I would have ever. We have been so lucky, to have this time. How can I demand more than what we have already been given?"
"When have you ever not demanded the world, Dolores?" Five asks, his own hand coming up to cover Dolores's own.
"We've had decades together, Five. We're getting old. I was always going to lose you, one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."
"I don't want to lose you."
"I know. But if I had to choose a way, if I could decide where our story ends, this would be it. Letting you go, because this way you get to live. You get to see your family again. You get to save the world. I could ask for nothing more than for you to get your happy ending."
Five removes Dolores's hand from his cheek so that he can cradle it between them, "I'm happy here with you. I've never been happier. Isn't that silly? That I was happier in the apocalypse?"
"I bet killing Reggie would make you happy." Dolores laughs rustily.
"One day you're going to see the mysterious disappearance of a famous billionaire in the paper and feel a twinge of satisfaction and now have a clue why." Five laughs as well, shaking his head.
Dolores pats Five's hands, "Five, look at me. We've had our time. And you're going to give me even more of it. More time with my father. More time with my mother. I'll never know it, but you'll have saved me."
"What if this is - what if this is an alternate reality? What if I leave you here alone?"
"Then you'll be saving a 15-year-old girl from the same fate as me. Because as much as I love you, as much as I have loved this time we have had together, this is still an apocalypse. This should never have happened, and if you have a chance to go back and prevent it, then I want you to take that chance with both hands."
"Even if it means leaving you alone?"
Dolores smiles at him, "I'm not going to be alone. Far too many creepy crawlies in the apocalypse for that."
"Shut up, I'm being serious."
"Hmm." Dolores hums consideringly, "Maybe I'll head North, to that new settlement that last group said they'd heard word of. Sure they'd find some use for an old woman who's survived this long in the wilderness."
"You can have my half of the record collection." Five says, pulling her against him into a hug that she easily returns.
"As if I wouldn't have stolen them as soon as you left." She scoffs, but it's a little wet, and Five pretends his own eyes aren't leaking tears.
When The Handler comes back, Dolores gives him another hug. She also slips something into his pocket - some photos. They'd taken it a year into the apocalypse, when Dolores had found an ancient looking polaroid camera and towed it home despite Five's protests about practicality. The photos are worn and faded at the edges, but the smiles on Five's little apocalypse family's faces are undeniable.
"You'll have to see if they magically fade when you change the timeline." Dolores whispers to him with a grin, "Like in the movies."
"Okay." Five whispers back.
"You have the list of movies to watch, right?" Dolores says. Five rolls his eyes and nods because he wrote the list last night into his Vanya-book while Dolores hovered over his shoulder and critiqued his handwriting.
"And you promise to try a proper non-expired twinkie at some point?"
"That I do not promise. I think even looking at one would make me lose my lunch. I have twinkie-trauma."
"Shut up and get going." Dolores says, because the Handler is starting to tap her foot impatiently.
And off Five goes to become an assassin. Though - he's much more gentle this time. He's careful, he doesn't kill children and he usually takes jobs that don't require killing at all. He distracts and manipulates events as much as he can without killing.
He's actually much more well socialized, thanks to Rick and Dolores. Less feral child and more determined man on a mission.
Which is why he's so frustrated when he finally, finally manages to get the equations to work and falls through and falls - directly back into his stupid thirteen-year-old body.
"Shit." Five says, loudly, and revels in the surprised look on his siblings faces.
He strides into the kitchen, and they all follow him like ducklings. They look exactly the way they did when they died.
"Wow this is actually way harder than I thought it would be." Five muses, looking at their dead faces. But as Dolores would say, life is hard but you have to keep on trucking sometimes. "Whatever, what's the date?"
"Five, where have you been?" Diego demands, looking irritated. It makes Five snort in amusement.
"The future. The past. If you want like, an exact list of dates you'll have to hold your horses. I spent like, two weeks in Peru once. No souvenirs though, unfortunately."
They look taken aback, like they didn't expect Five to have quite this much sass. Oops. That is definitely Dolores's influence. Or maybe he was always a little asshole. In fairness, what teenagers aren't tiny assholes? He has an excuse.
"What the fuck does that mean?" Diego's eyebrows are furrowed in anger. It kind of takes Five aback for a second, because he remembers a Diego who stutters when he argued.
"When did you learn the fuck-word?" Five asks, raising an eyebrow before her can help it, "Grace ought to wash your mouth out with soap."
Diego immediately goes red, "Shut up!"
"Wow you're so easy to rile up. Aren't you like, twenty-something? Actually, I could figure out for myself how old you are if you gave me the date."
"I'm twenty-nine." Diego growls, like that was the point.
"Haunting!" Five says cheerfully, because that means there is way less time than he would like, narrowing his time down to a six month window.
It's extremely funny how his cheer makes all of them make faces.
It's Klaus who leans forward, "Why do you need to know?"
Klaus's face is open and curious and - (looks exactly like he did when Five found him all those years ago) - and Five can't help but answer him. "The world end on April 1st, 2019. No it isn't an April Fools joke, yes I have heard that joke like a million different times. I just want to know how close I landed so I can, you know, start working on how to fix that."
"Woah woah woah, roll it back." Allison says, holding a hand up, "What?"
"The apocalypse occurs on April 1st, 2019." Five says, slowly. "I have traveled from afar to prevent this from happening, because like, everyone dies."
"Everyone?" Vanya says weakly from the side.
She's clearly expecting to be ignored, so Five turns his head to address her directly by wiggling his hand back and forth a little. "Sort of. Like, not too many people survive at all. A handful of the human population, you know."
"But you survived?" Diego recovers admirably, if bitingly.
"Well, no." Five says rolling his eyes, "Wouldn't you just know it, Klaus here has managed to figure out a new ability!"
Everyone turns to look at Klaus, who immediately holds up his hands like he's being arrested or something, "I did not!"
"Wonderful! Now that we've established that I'm alive -"
"Why should we trust a word you say?" Luther says for the first time, looking pensive.
Five blinks, genuinely taken aback. "Because... I'm your brother? Because I can clearly and obviously time travel? Like, yeah, it would have been more convenient if I'd arrived in like, my old-body for proof-purposes, but like. I mean. Thirteen is still a pretty convincing age to be to prove time travel considering if I hadn't, I would be like, almost thirty."
"Roll it back again." Allison says firmly, "What do you mean by 'old body'?"
"Great question!" Five says pointing at Allison and smiling. Everyone looks at him weird again, and Five takes a moment to wonder if they've ever experienced positive reinforcement. Knowing Reginald, probably not. "Wait! Is Reggie alive? Wait, no, answer that in a second. Uh. When I time traveled I fucked up my body I guess, I was like, old. White hair and wrinkles-type old from spending decades in the apocalypse. But I fucked up the calculations and got booted back to my thirteen-year-old body, I guess. How, I have no idea."
"What?" Vanya says, still equally weakly.
"You have no idea how fucked up time travel is." Five whispers conspiratorially to Vanya, loud enough for the whole table to hear, "There are so many ways to die. Or permanently tear a hold in space time. But like, with life as we know if ending soon-ish, I figured I couldn't possibly fuck it up worse than it already was, y'know? Speaking of, anyone have the date again?"
"Wait, what was that about dad?" Luther asks, very focused.
"Oh, you still call him dad? Big oof." Five says automatically, because apparently his verbal filter is shot to hell after living with Dolores. It does make Klaus bark out a too-loud laugh.
"What does that mean?" Luther asks aggressively.
"It means Reginald sucks and doesn't deserve the title of 'dad,' what did you think I meant?" Five asks, and now both Diego and Vanya and both cracking smiles, though Vanya is covering hers with a hand.
"Have some respect for the dead." Luther growls, standing up and looking very large and threatening.
Five sways back, craning his head up, "Woah there big buy, sit down before I injure my poor growing spine looking up at you. Jeeze, did Reggie force feed you steroids or something? I wouldn't put it past him but like, I just want to know he at least went over the side effects of the drug with you. Also like, thanks for narrowing it down. Also terrifying! Seriously though, exact date please because if I have less than 24 hours I am going to break down crying and that is a threat."
"I love this Five." Klaus says reverently.
"March 21st." Vanya offers, finally.
"Wow! Terrifying!" Five says, clapping his hands together, "Hate that. Ten days, huh? Well, who wants to get on board the save-the-world express?"
Klaus immediately flings his hand in the air, Five points at his brother appreciatively. "Yes, excellent! I'll take the volunteer in the lovely skirt as my first team member. Any other volunteers?"
"Danke!" Klaus simpers, grinning widely like this is the vest entertainment he's had in weeks.
"I'm not just going to stand here and listen to you badmouth dad and boss us around." Luther slams his hands on the table.
"Well not with that attitude." Five snarks.
Diego raises his hand, "I would like to join team fuck dad as well."
"We can certainly debate team names later." Five says, nodding wisely as Luther gives some sort of scandalized gasp.
"Honestly, I just want to see where this is going." Klaus confesses.
Five shrugs, because he doesn't really care about the reason. "Don't you want to prove me wrong them? Prove what a well-adjusted young man Reginald Hargreeves raised?"
"Shut up." Luther grinds out, looking a moment away from throwing a punch.
"If this is all true, I have to get home." Allison cuts in, looking concerned, "I have - I have a daughter."
"I mean, if you want to give Claire a world to live in then I'd stick around, but that's just me." Five shrugs.
"You know her name?" Allison asks, obviously taken aback.
Five is almost offended, "Uh, yeah. I have her photo as well. Y'all get on like, a bizarre number of gossip magazine covers did you know that?"
Allison manages to outdo herself in terms of being taken aback once more.
There's a beat of silence, and then Five turns, "Vanya? You in?"
"Me?" Vanya blinks, looking shocked. "What can I do?"
"Yeah, what can she do?" Diego asks, crossing his arms and suddenly looking grumpy.
It baffles Five, who scrunches his nose, "Uh, like, a lot? I assume? I mean. I'm going to be honest here, just looking at y'all right now is a lot. In more ways than one! Hashtag trauma and all that, but like, name a single one of you that wouldn't be the most obvious person in the room as soon as you walked into it. Except Vanya, who somehow manages to look like a well adjusted adult, by some miracle."
"Did you just verbally say the word hashtag?" Allison asks, looking so deeply confused.
"More concerned about the trauma he tacked onto there, but y'know, to each their own." Klaus immediately cuts in.
"You think I'm well-adjusted?" Vanya asks, looking oddly touched.
"I would like to direct your attention to Diego's leather pants-scowl combo and Luther's general aura of daddy-issues." Five says pointedly, "I can practically smell the tragic comic book backstory in this room. If I'd jumped back a decade earlier this would have been Batman's wet dream of orphan selection."
"Alright! Game plan!" Five says, waving Diego's knife in his hand.
Diego's hands immediately go to his weird harness looking thing, "Hey!"
"Give me just one moment to get the tracker out." Five rolls his eyes, "Then I'll give it back, I promise. Also if someone could ask Grace for like, some antibiotics that would be good."
"What?" Allison asks, directly before Five stabs himself and there is suddenly panic at the table.
"Relax!" Five says, allowing Diego to remove the knife from his hands. He doesn't need it anyway and his hand immediately drops down to root in the wound.
"Five what the fuck!" Diego yells, but Five just pulls up bloody fingers and waves the tracker into Diego's stupefied face.
"What the fuck is that, Five?" Allison demands, looking very shaken.
"I literally just said it was a tracker." Five points out, "Now, I think our first team activity should be voting on whether we destroy it or take it out to bumfuck nowhere and ditch it to confuse the Commission."
"What the fuck is the Commission?" Diego barks.
"Man. Maybe I should just hit up Rick." Five muses, "This is going to take so much explaining."
"Who is Rick."
"So much explaining."
#survivors au#well adjusted five au#five actually has some social skills!#and an idea of what an actual parent looks like as well#klaus absolutely adores this version of five#who quotes vines and uses gen z slang with the best of them#five has been reliably informed that public education is worse than the apocalypse#but he's also pretty sure working with his family is worse as well#five: i have so much trauma lol#klaus: oh big same#vanya: mood#five is somehow the most well adjusted hargreeves#and the most responsible#he doesn't legally exist and he doesn't pay taxes but somehow he has his shit together#five showing up at rick's house: you don't know me but i know you in the future#rick: what the fuck#five: don't make me bring up bethany midler from highschool because you gave me so many embarrassing stories to convince yourself with#rick: okay okay i believe you and you are???#five: your son from the future lol what's up dad want to help save the world#five arriving back at the manor like: WHAT'S UP LOSERS RICK IS NOW YOUR DAD TOO BC GOD KNOWS Y'ALL NEED AN ACTUAL FATHER FIGURE#klaus calls rick a dilf and five kidney punches him hard enough that klaus can't even properly introduce himself#it's better for everyone that way#delores: 15 and ready to fuck someone up#delores: i'm not staying with this weirdo (diego) while you go off with my dad#five threateningly: don't make me bring up what really happened to dad's good suit in 2012#delores: i will stay right here#rick: wait WHAT happened to my good suit#five: unimportant don't you want to save the world#long post#far tua long
179 notes · View notes
gh0stshroom · 2 years
Text
A bunch of queer jokes!
“May I call my aro/ace friends double AA batteries?” “Short Polysexual/polyam people are Poly Pockets” “What the heck TRANSpired here?” “Can you at least try to sit up straight?” “Sorry, I’ve been having trouble being straight lately” “Please, leave Enby(’em be)?  “Oh, BI the way!” “I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for, so far no one has given me a straight answer“ “Why did pilots use to have such a hard time flying straight? All they had was biplanes” “Time for GAYme night!”  “My partners and I were busy playing Connect4″ “What do you call a single poly person? A MonoPOLY!” “Why are pansexuals so gullible? ‘cause they’ll fall for anything”
13 notes · View notes
kedreeva · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I posted 8,066 times in 2022
That's 329 more posts than 2021!
1,893 posts created (23%)
6,173 posts reblogged (77%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@fiore-della-valle
@redbirdblogs
@idkfandomwhatever
@seananmcguire
@sleepymccoy
I tagged 8,043 of my posts in 2022
#stranger things - 1,920 posts
#asks - 932 posts
#steddie - 722 posts
#anon asks - 532 posts
#all the laughter - 517 posts
#good omens - 490 posts
#my pets - 481 posts
#good things - 438 posts
#peafowl - 405 posts
#eddie munson - 377 posts
Longest Tag: 96 characters
#we are all uncertain if our work is good or we've just been loving it despite its flaws too long
I sent 10 gifts in 2022
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I hope that once everyone's done laughing at the important blue checkmarks (no rush, it's fucking hilarious), Tumblr considers other icons we can put by our names. Like little hats or something we can send to friends for a day for a dollar. Little animal companions. Good job stickers.
28,252 notes - Posted November 10, 2022
#4
A snake in Thailand spent enough time sitting still in the water to grow moss and turn into a dragon, apparently.
More video at the source account!
34,063 notes - Posted March 3, 2022
#3
Oh god, I just aged several years in a single second, a friend of mine sent me a snippet from a fic that read someone put a VHS into a VCR and took so long getting back to it to press play that the menu screen had looped multiple times
36,575 notes - Posted September 1, 2022
#2
When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.
One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.
I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.
I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.
I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered.  When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.
She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.
I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.
And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think... I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.
So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.
44,929 notes - Posted July 17, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
If you're ever worried about whether your writing is too self indulgent, I just want you to remember that Sharknado had 5 sequels. I'm only partway through watching Sharknado 6: It's About Time, but already they've traveled through time and ridden a pteronadon into a Sharknado so they could use the magic teleportation portal inside of it to travel forward in time to King Arthur's time, where they are currently battling a Sharknado full of fire-breathing dragon sharks with Excalibur, which is a chainsaw sword that calls lightning. You're fine. In fact, be a little more self indulgent if anything, because I am having a BLAST watching this specifically because I can see how much fun the writers were having.
45,937 notes - Posted June 17, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
31 notes · View notes
856764864568 · 3 years
Text
I was standing a dozen paces from her
I was standing a dozen paces from her. It’s awfully curious, Ivan Petrovitch; it really, impressed me. If you would like to reserve a place on a free pick up service then you should complete and return the booking form online. The passionate philanthropist is very active in supporting Carousel of Hope, which benefits the Children's Diabetes Foundation and Barbara Davis Center for Childhood Diabetes, and Larry Ruvo's "Keep Memory Alive," committed to improving the lives of patients and their families facing the challenges of brain disorders. No maester would ever write down an account for one of the Reader’s beloved books. The designer showed the wide leg cropped style in mauve tweed and classic denim, proving this trouser style is anything but over. Age: Girls in 1 6th grade and parents. Upon launching, web content will flow across both screens. But when a knight died, his shield was taken down, that it might go with him to puma red bull racing evo cat ii his pyre or his tomb, and over the years and centuries fewer and fewer knights had taken the black. Remember the beautiful haibike e mtb 2020 climax scene of the popular Bollywood flick, 'Wake Up Sid,' wherein Aisha and Sid finally confess their love for each other in this mind blowing location, with the falling rain in the backdrop.. Monell Download video. They didn't see it as PG.". This contributes positively to their brain development.. Davis said he told Gilmartin they should wake Piazza up, call for an ambulance and get him to the hospital. If it should be our lot, as I trust it will be, to acquire the country of Texas, their price will rise again.”. Additionally, the soles with strong grip of the Nike SB shoes make the players have more foot interaction with the skate board. "Morgan (Thompson) and Rachel (Kirby) are hitting shots. And uh he told me he was gonna uh hurt me, if I tried to fight him."The taped confession also played for jurors at trial included more details of the crime, including the type of weapons used. It had still been summer then; Robert sat the Iron Throne, Balon brooded on the Seastone Chair, and the Seven Kingdoms were at peace. When permitted, some of our negroes preached with great fluency. It is essentially a battery operated neti pot, but Mens ADIDAS ORIGINALS rather than water draining out of your nose and into a sink somewhere, donna di porto pim una storia riassunto it goes from one container in the machine into another. When she took the paper from the table she had upset the ink over it. You can buy them in bulk too as some of the websites offer discounts on wholesale purchases. The disease caused him to lose the bone out of his nose, and his jaw-bone, also. He thought he knew.. But what’s the good of talking . Please tell the constable to go on with the sale of John’s property; and, when the money is made, I will send on an order to you for it. America) Lvl 1 5 Audio Comp patchRatingRelated DownloadsDownloadsRosetta Stone 3.4.5 Inc. The prince had gone away furious, and no tea had been offered to him, and of course it was all her young lady’s fault. He had done bad things, terrible things. The Falcons longpoles have also been a scoring threat this season. The woman rode double with Rory, her son with Tom Barleycorn, the old men with Horse and Satin. But it most certainly is a gem. Owner said the service aprons might look slightly dominating, but they offer "a good way to start a conversation about the restaurant," he said. That will be wet as well. Director: Matthew Brown. Exemplary teachers integrate math, reading, writing, adidas eqt rose gold science and social studies around stimulating one week themes designed for each grade level. It's also attractive, in such colors as vibrant blue or with preppy stripes on its band. “Two sisters, two daughters, biciclete rusesti vechi one wife, and my old mother,” the singer claimed, though not one looked like him. And wouldn't it be great if your nike air jordan 1 los angeles footwear could be your fitness coach? LeChal footwear has something similar in mind. His host is north of you, his father’s to the south, but Lord Ramsay is prepared to be merciful if you yield Moat Cailin to him before the sun goes down.” He drew out the letter that they’d given him and tossed it on the table before the drinkers.. Rowand was in feeble health, and nervous; the slave Maria was weak and emaciated in appearance; sudden death of such a person, in such a state, from apoplexy or action of nervous system, not unlikely; her sudden death would not imply violence; had prescribed asaf?tida for Mrs. Blood was good. So clearly the ABIT 9800XT has much better AA quality in this game.. "We have been very deliberate in making the decision to arm our Tennessee National Guard," said Haston. “Listen, Natasha, you keep asking questions as though you were in fun. The widow took a sip, rolled the wine round her mouth, swallowed. All the while Abel’s women waited, their faces shadowed by their cowls. Was committed to the Jail of Shelby county, on the 28th ult., a negro boy, who says his name is JOHN W. I'm not sure what air jordan aj4 exactly the problem was, because this feature is kind of a black box. “A man grows weary of having no lovers but his fingers.” Selhorys may be where whores go. During her time off, Erin enjoys discovering new holiday destinations, shopping and spending time with family and friends.. My head was going round and aching more and more. He says …”. My write up of Pauline's death actually includes an image of the death certificate. While it is debatable why this might be, it probably rests on the remote nature of the park, being further from the nearest large cities than others. Don't forget to put on you hand gloves. On Sunday, people's undying patriotism shone throughout the country with spontaneous singings of the national anthem and tributes to those who died on Sept. "We got right next to the stage because that's where the credentialed photographers are. If you can't lift your monstrous suitcase out of the car, you'll probably have trouble carrying it up three flights of stairs to your room in the Quads or to your room on the 13th floor of the Towers. I think there's much for CMOs in any industry to learn from a real, in depth analysis of how music business brands have entered the digital age. Old oneil legjobb kutyaruha esőkabát mellény Mill Center extends their warmest appreciation to Luis and Patti Perez, owners of Elmer's Restaurant in Corvallis, for their commitment to local children and families. “Almost from the first time I met him I had an overwhelming desire that he should be mine, mine at once, and that he should not look at anyone, should not know anyone but me. I would have no need of Xaro or his ships. The kind of murder which was most frequent among masters or overseers was guarded against by another section of the same act,—how adequately the reader will judge for himself, from the following quotation:.. It is currently in the process of raising a further 2 million from a new crowdfunding campaign, having previously built three generations of prototypes using capital from European innovation grants..
2 notes · View notes
hereisleo · 4 years
Text
unsolvable equations
w/ s.mg ft. j.yh
g/ non-idol!au, friendship
a.n/ something that stems from listening to eden’s discography while on the train, peak nostalgia hour
t.w/ none
Tumblr media
In the drowsiness of four in the morning, Mingi sat in his chair, hunched over various papers, textbooks and notes. His hand continuously wrote lines upon lines of numbers and symbols. What started as a liked subject in high school had plunged him into the depths of a sophisticated system. He remembered his teacher saying talent was a pursued interest. Here he was awake at four instead of sleeping, he couldn’t stop until he figured out what was waiting for him at the end of the massive equation. The small desk lamp flickered, he knew soon the batteries needed replacing again. He could have bought a new lamp but there was no other light source he would rather work with this late.
The door of his room crack opened and a mop of messy brown hair peeked inside. Mingi sat up and winced, his back cracked after being in the same position for far too long. “Ya, still up?” His roommate and best friend of many years came in. A steaming mug of a mysterious beverage in his hand. “Milk and honey, it’ll help you sleep,” he placed the mug on the desk’s only clear spot, a coaster blocked off part of the wooden surface. It was purposely reserved for instances like tonight. “Thanks, Yunho.” Mingi smiled and sipped the night treat as he watched his best friend fall into his bed. Yunho pointed at the lamp, voice laced with sleepiness, “You’re still using that wretched thing?” Mingi gasped in mock offence and clutched his heart, “Wretched thing? My precious baby?! You’re the one who gave me this loyal babe. How dare you!” Yunho’s chuckles were muffled by the pillow, his cheeks rose adorably.
He noticed throughout the years, Yunho’s facial structure stayed the same. The squishy cheeks he couldn’t seem to shed became what Mingi called ‘Yunho’s health scale’. No sound came from his long-standing roommate and Mingi turned his attention to the compact yet worn lamp. Scratches and tiny dents littering the metal surface were hidden by stickers of countries he had flown to for his work. The wretched lamp ate its batteries faster than Mingi could fill his thick hardbound notebook with numbers. He picked up his pen, a well-loved Pilot Custom Heritage 92 demonstrator fountain pen from his mother, the only one he used upon receiving it. Mathematical equations and numbers were as concrete as it possibly can but Mingi was anything but.
The grey ink sloshed back and forth in the converter. He was once asked, “Why grey ink?” It reminded him of the wooden pencils he started out with, the shade of childhood on paper and the stains on his fingers and hand from the graphite. Before the ink had a chance to bleed onto the paper, a click of tongue and rustling sheets were enough for Mingi to cap his pen. He drained the rest of the milk while it was still warm and headed to bed. He occupied the empty space beside his friend, mathematics could wait. He won’t be seeing his friend for sometime after tonight. He took one last look at the lamp, reminding himself to remove the batteries and pack the device into his bag. The body heat radiating next to him was the last thing Mingi felt as the grips of dreamless sleep overtook him.
Tumblr media
The aircraft intercom crackled to life, Mingi recited the pre-flight announcements from rote memory. He straightened his grey suit jacket and made his final round of safety checks. Once he sat down, he inhaled and exhaled methodically. He hated takeoffs and landings, the years in this field still didn’t completely curb his fear of height. He wished his friend was here to hold his hand. Alas, it was a moot thought. Yunho who pursued a career in the entertainment industry was back in Seoul at the company, recording or dancing or both and he who chased after his dream to be a flight attendant was in a flight bound to Spain. He proudly presented the wings he earned the same time Yunho was set to debut. The eventful night was spent in excited screaming and future prospects before it mellowed out to sombre conversations. Two friends lying on the floor, eyes memorising the ceiling of the house they wished to visit more often. How far they had come in their lives.
Mingi closed his eyes and flooded his mind with numbers from his hardbound notebook, fingers writing the continued equations on his thigh. He would transcribe them later. The equation he bred was lauded as innovative by the professors of the university. They did express their concern over the complexity and the possibility of it not being solvable. He knew. He thought of it prior to presenting his rough draft but he wouldn’t settle for second best. Solvable or not, it was his and his alone. Having no closure was closure itself and he needed to know what lay beyond it, disappointing or not. The image of the compact lamp flickering and the mug of milk and honey flashed to the forefront of his mind. Yes, he would be fine.
His fellow flight attendant squeezed his shoulder with a slightly worried smile. The plane had reached a stable altitude. He smiled and told her softly he was fine and thanked her for being concerned. He unbuckled the seatbelt and helped with drinks distribution. Somewhere way at the end of the aircraft, he heard a baby wailing. As usual, he would go up to the parents and ask if it was acceptable for him to help their soothe the baby. Most would be relieved to place their babies in his arms, Mingi understood, there was nothing wrong in wanting a little respite, there was nothing to feel guilty. He gently took the infant into his hold and walked up and down the aisle rocking the babe, mumbling sweet nothings. He didn’t come back to their seat until the baby was fast asleep.
Tumblr media
The Spanish sun blazed in winter. Mingi shed his outer coat, leaving him in a simple long sleeve shirt. The green pastures of the highland stretch for miles all around him, flocks of sheep grazed and bleated without a care in the world. He trudged up the dirt path toward the quaint cottage. He couldn’t travel with his friend last time but it didn’t stop Yunho to list all the places he had been all over Spain, Mingi was equipped with chicken scrawl writing and badly drawn structures and maps on the postcards. They made sure none of them was neglected in any way. Two differing personalities yet they knew how to take care of each other without saying a word. Time truly flew without waiting.
Red brick walls greeted him at the end of the path, the metal gates creaked open with a push of his hand. The reclusiveness of the location swept Mingi into a whirlpool of nostalgia. Passing by the abode and around to the spacious back garden, the blue expanse of the Mediterranean Sea in the distance embraced him. The groundskeeper found him drifting off in the hammock, the sun blanketing him in warm rays and the wind brushing through his hair in loving strokes. He deciphered what the keeper told him in accented English, if he had come here years before, he would have blurted out his iconic line from the Australia trip, “I cannot English.” He thanked the keeper and pretended he didn’t almost trip from getting out of the hammock. The sheepish smile on his face and the mirth dancing in the keeper’s eyes were enough for Mingi to know he wasn’t slick. He stayed outside until the sun set below the horizon. The golden hues gilded the area and Mingi imagined if this was the shade that was perpetual for the gods at Mount Olympus, if this was the same sight Yunho witnessed. The Mediterranean Sea shifted into a pool of liquid gold then to abysmal black when the sun spun to the east.
A pack of AA batteries sat ready to use on the wooden desk beside the four-poster king-sized bed. Of course, Yunho knew Mingi would forget the batteries for the lamp, half the world apart and he was still being taken care. The baggage check security confiscated the batteries because he didn’t remove them beforehand. He had been doing this a lot recently, losing himself in reminiscence. The keeper called him down for dinner, classic Spanish dishes graced the table and Mingi was fed until he couldn’t. An amicable conversation of the cottage’s history, the highlands and each other’s lives lingered in his ears. He couldn’t help but to close his eyes from time to time, savouring the Spanish accented English. He was sleepy by the time he returned to his room with a pot of Lady Grey. He drew open the off white curtains and left the windows ajar. The moon was full and bright, it seemed closer than when he was in Seoul.
He should get some sleep before jet lag settled in but he gravitated to the posh wooden desk. If he was his younger self, he would pick the bed, no hesitation. The Mingi now was even surer of himself, the passion simmering under his skin and lighting his eyes were no longer hidden under a pretence of foolishness. He was still the “work smart and my way” Mingi everyone knew yet the refined confidence oozing from his presence turned more heads and the sharp intelligence landed him in the opportunities of his dreams. He placed the batteries into empty slots and flipped the switch. The room was dimly lit by warm white light. The nib of his fountain pen glided across the white pages, spilling grey inks in numbers and symbols from memory. The wind came through the open windows and ruffled the papers. Mingi didn’t sleep until the blue hour descended and the birds said good morning.
Tumblr media
The Seoul winter welcomed him home and the summer of Yunho’s affection wrapped him tightly in its embrace. His friend had come to pick him up from the airport, Yunho in his street clothes and Mingi still in his grey uniform. The metro ride to their shared apartment was spent by telling each other the adventures they were up to while apart. His heart warmed at the mention of their shared place being too empty without him. The feeling was mutual when Yunho was on world tours. Occasionally, they would be lucky enough to be on the same flight. Mingi dragged his suitcase into his room and collapsed onto the bed. He felt blanket being draped over his shoulders and a hand patted his head, “Goodnight and sweet dreams.” There was much to do after this. Yunho started to unpack his suitcase, the crunching of plastic bags didn’t bother him. His eyelids grew heavier and heavier and he didn’t know when he gave into the clutches of a well-rested sleep.
February, the coldest month of the year, the last Friday of his time at Seoul National University. He came to the contentment of the unsolvable as the tassels were moved from right to left. The finale of the current chapter had arrived. Mingi ran toward his friends, the seven who he held dearly to his heart, the seven who accepted him for who he was. The winter wind bit his skin and the sun was hidden behind the clouds. The blue-and-black robe swung from his movements and the cap fell off his head. The equations were not meant to be solved. There was no right answer for it. Only the progress mattered. Show the work. He was thrown into the air amidst cheering. At that moment, Mingi knew he had reached his closure. The sunlight broke through the coverings. The equations mutated itself, as cold as these numbers could be they were novel. Life was never meant to be solved.
“Dr Song Mingi!”
60 notes · View notes
Text
Tragedy of Gatsby
PART TWENTY-FOUR OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES
Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)
Warnings: serious angst, anxiety about future, plentiful pop culture references
Word Count: 6.1K
Summary: Jess walks his mother down the aisle. Later, he and Ella address issues from their past.
Raucous laughter filled the diner as Liz had her makeshift bachelorette party. Ella could only roll her eyes at the obnoxious women, only growing louder as they drank more wine, along with whatever the one dressed in loud shades of pink, Carrie, had in her flask. With the wedding fast approaching, only one more day, Luke and Ella were doing their best to keep calm. They had closed Luke’s for the afternoon to allow for the modest party, consisting of four middle-aged Stars Hollow women drinking and uttering cliché nonsense. But, they had also (somehow) been assigned the task of making the food for the festivities. Ella had no idea where Luke had acquired the large, silver rotisserie cooker which sat on the diner counter, and she was almost too afraid to ask.
Large turkey legs spun around inside the hot plexiglass contraption, and more sat on a plate on the counter. Ella stood with the manual in her hands, a crease of concentration between her brows, trying to decipher the vague instructions. Though Luke was asking Liz if she had any idea what to do, Ella knew the effort was futile. As with most of the other wedding plans, Liz would be offering little to no help. Her personality wasn’t totally asinine, but Ella was beginning to understand the many complaints Luke and Jess had about Liz. She certainly wasn’t amazing at problem-solving.
“Let me see it,” Luke said, putting the roasted leg which he had held up to examine back down on the plate. He reached his hand out for the manual.
Ella sighed, not looking up at him. “You already read it. You need fresh eyes.”
“I think I saw something that’ll help. I’ll try and find it,” Luke continued, extending his hand to her further.
Shrugging, Ella finally tore her eyes away from the words and handed the book back over to him. “Godspeed, boss.”
Just then, Jess appeared from behind the curtain and came over to the end of the counter. “I need to get some batteries. I’ll be back.”
“What? For your Scarface beeper?” Ella asked, eyebrows raised.
“Hey, don’t get distracted. You’ve got legs to cook,” Jess scolded playfully, but frowned as his mother called over to him. Seeing her within a five foot radius of alcohol was enough to put him slightly on edge.
“Girls, this is Jess,” Liz said, taking her son by the shoulders and over to the table to show him off to her friends.
Jess was met with a flirtatious chorus of “Hello handsome!” and other such greetings. And he immediately heard Ella snort back a laugh to his left. He shot her a glare and she feigned an innocent look.
“He’s gonna walk me down the aisle,” Liz said. “Is that cool, or what?”
Behind the counter, Ella raised her eyebrows in surprise. It was the first she was hearing of it.
“It’s no big deal,” Jess replied dismissively.
“It’s a very big deal,” Liz insisted, a hand still placed on his shoulder. Then, she turned back to Ella, who was staring quizzically into the rotisserie cooker. “And Ella’s filling in as my flower girl. I gave her one of my dresses and everything.”
“Oh, you’ll be great,” Carrie smiled at Ella through sips of her drink. “And those Renaissance dresses Liz showed me? They’ll squish your boobs right up to your neck! It’ll be fabulous!”
“Yeah,” Ella said flatly, sighing. After trying on the dress last night with Lorelai, they’d taken up the length and taken in the sides. But the corset was relatively static, unable to be adjusted. When laced up all the way, it almost completely cut off her ability to breathe. “I’m just counting down the seconds.”
Outside, a man in a UPS uniform, holding a large package, approached the door. Luke went over to accept the delivery, but it instantly became apparent that there was no package and the man was a stripper. Eyes widening, Ella quickly undid her apron and hung it on the hook in the kitchen.
“I’m taking a break,” she announced, rounding the corner of the counter to come up beside Jess.
Luke barely acknowledged her, still lost on what was about to happen. Without thinking, Jess grabbed Ella’s wrist gently to lead her out of the diner before the show could begin. It was clear from the scarlet flush on her cheeks and the amusement on her face that she didn’t want to bear witness to what was about to happen either.
“Have fun,” Jess muttered dejectedly to his uncle before brushing past him and escaping.
“Have fun with what?” Luke asked cluelessly behind them, but the door had already shut.
Ella erupted in a fit of laughter as Jess released her wrist, walking beside her and shaking his head in disbelief. Birds sung in the afternoon heat, and they went down towards the market, the streets lined with fresh produce and fragrant flowers. Eventually, Ella’s giggles subsided and she caught her breath.
“Luke really should get out more,” she said, letting her long hair out of its ponytail and running her hands through the waves.
Jess snorted. “Agreed. I’m pretty sure the only movie he’s ever seen is Bridge on the River Kwai.”
Pursing her lips, Ella shook her head. “Maybe that’s what he says. But he’s definitely seen more. How else could he keep up with Lorelai?”
“Good point.”
A comfortable pause passed between them as they neared the market, entering the air conditioning as Jess went off in search of batteries. Even after a couple years, Taylor still glared each time Jess came in the store. It was meant to look menacing, but instead it ended up as mostly cartoonish. Ella even shot him a teasing wave as they walked past. In some ways, Taylor felt about Ella the way Mrs. Kim did. She wore dark clothing and makeup, and created ghoulish artwork. And her dead mother, and additional complicated family members, did nothing to help her reputation among the other conservative townsfolk. Not like Ella cared, however; she knew people like Patty and Babette and Maury and Gypsy were the coolest ones. And they all liked her just fine.
“When the hell did batteries start getting so expensive?” Jess grumbled, picking up some generic AAs, skipping over the name brands.
Ella chuckled. “You sound like such a responsible adult.”
“Hardly,” Jess replied, leading the way to the checkout line. “If I was actually responsible, I’d leave New York. I live in one room with five other guys and I still barely make rent.”
“Ah, so the tragedy of Gatsby holds true?”
As he paid, Jess only chuckled in response. His eyes fell on the ‘Take a Penny, Leave a Penny’ jar while the cashier made change, and he smirked nostalgically. After so long, he could still hear Taylor’s accusations of his stealing every single coin in the jar. He had done it, of course. He just hadn’t expected such an intense response. Those early days in Stars Hollow had shown him just how boring such a sleepy town could be. In New York, there were bigger fish to fry than some kid taking pennies. But still, before they left, he dropped one penny into the familiar jar. For old time’s sake, he told himself. Ella noticed, of course, and raised a brow at him in askance.
He shrugged as they emerged back into the May sunshine. “What goes around comes around.”
Ella gave a bitter chuckle. “Not that karma bullshit.”
Jess clicked his tongue mockingly. “Kids these days. So cynical.”
“Whatever, James Dean,” Ella said, shaking her head.
For a moment, Jess’s breath seemed to catch in his throat. She hadn’t called him that name in such a long time. And suddenly, he was seventeen again, ditching school and mouthing off and making out with her to depressing records. But, then, he had to remind himself where he was. He was putting pennies in the jar. Walking his mother down the aisle. Reading the self-help book Luke had given him the night before after a long, strange lecture about the power of communication. Jess wanted to roll his eyes at every word when first starting the book, but he’d read almost half of it already, sitting up in his old bed. And he was beginning to absorb it, understand it. Biting down hard on his lip for a moment, Jess quieted the emotions which sprung up in his mind and only shot her a smirk.
“I am not going back to the diner any time soon. You wanna get some ice cream?” he asked, tucking the batteries into his pocket.
Nodding, Ella let a fond smile cross her face. Either she hadn’t noticed her nickname slip, or was brushing it off. “Sure. Seems like you’re finally developing a concept of weather.”
.   .   .
Sucking in her stomach, Ella regretted eating so much mint-chocolate-chip. Pretty in Pink played at a low volume on the small TV in the Gilmore living room, as Lorelai made the final alterations to Ella’s dress. Standing on a kitchen chair, Ella was off to the side of the couch so as not to block Rory and Sookie’s view of the movie. Along with playing substitute seamstress for the wedding, Lorelai would be meeting with Sookie about some Inn business later in the evening. Ella felt like she had been holding her arms out at her sides for hours, and her shoulders were starting to ache. But she bit back the heavy sigh which threatened to escape her mouth as Sooke, Lorelai, and Rory shot questions at her about Jess’s sudden reappearance. They were doing nothing to hide the suspicion in their voices.
“He’s really walking his mom down the aisle? Mr. Sid Vicious, Mr. Stealing-My-Beer-and Ditching-My-Dinner, Mr. Steal-Babette’s-Gnome-and-Fake-A-Murder-Outside-Doose’s is walking his mother down the aisle voluntarily?” Lorelai asked through the pins she held in her mouth, taking in the sides of the dress one final time.
“Anything else to add or are you done?” Ella’s voice was husky and breathless as she watched Jon Cryer dance around Molly Ringwald on screen, the corset tight but still manageable around her torso.
Rory chuckled. “You can’t deny all those pseudonyms are factually accurate.”
“And no longer timely, Ms. Amanpour,” Ella quipped flatly.
“But he still got in a fight with TJ at a strip club last night,” Lorelai piped in.
Ela rolled her eyes. “That was justified. And happened while he was reading Jane Austen in a strip club.”
“You’re grumpy tonight, kitten,” Sookie said, tilting her head over the back of the couch at Ella with a small pout.
“Comes with the lack of oxygen,” Ella replied.
Lorelai took a final pin from her mouth and stuck it in the hem at Ella’s side. “Why did you agree to this Renaissance nonsense, then?”
“Didn’t really agree to it. And when Liz brought it up, Luke seemed so happy. I just...couldn’t say no to them,” Ella explained.
Lorelai shot her a mischievous grin. “Ah, there’s that hidden heart of gold. What a shame that it’s three sizes too small.”
“I’m not losing any sleep over it,” Ella said.
Rory snickered.
“Hey, I’m not the only one trying to add a few years to Luke’s life this week,” Ella continued, stepping down from the chair, trying not to slip in her fishnets.
“What do you mean?” Sookie asked.
“Lorelai is Luke’s date,” Ella said. “A match made in heaven.”
Lorelai rolled her eyes. “We’re just going as friends.”
“It’s a good thing you’ve never been arrested. You’d never pass a polygraph,” Rory smiled, in on the teasing.
“Wicked, wicked girls,” Lorelai scolded with a dramatic gasp.
“Not quite the twins from The Shining, but close,” Sookie chimed in, agreeing.
“Twins indeed,” Lorelai said, straightening the corset, eyebrows raised.
Normally, Ella barely filled out a bodice. But, with the constricting powers of the corset, she had cleavage nearly up to the collarbone. She’d be lying if she said it wasn’t an interesting change from being nearly flat-chested, as she slowly got used to the pressure on her ribs.
���Just call me Bianca,” Ella announced in a dramatic Elizabethan accent, making circular gestures with her hands.
“Not Desdemona?” Rory asked.
Scrunching up her nose in thought, Ella shook her head. “No, definitely Bianca. I’d much rather slap Cassio than be murdered by Othello. Besides, I don’t think this dress is exactly Desdemona’s taste.”
.   .   .
The day bloomed hot and dry, the sun shining down from a cloudless sky. Ella rushed across town square from Patty’s to Luke’s. As she entered the air conditioning of the diner, she felt sweaty in her tight outfit, panting slightly. In the back of her mind, she worried her makeup would smudge beyond salvageability before the ceremony had even started. But soon, the cool evening would set in. And she kept her mind focused on the task at hand, trudging up the stairs to the apartment and knocking twice on the door. After a few moments, Jess came to greet her, dressed in all black. He blinked at her in surprise, then smirked.
“Hello, flower girl,” he said.
Scoffing dejectedly, she brushed past him into the apartment. But, as soon as she was in view of Luke’s side of the room, she turned back around with a look of disgust. TJ was shirtless, in nothing but some very form-fitting tights. Jess chuckled at the scowl which formed on her face and the blush on her cheeks.
“Jackass!” she scolded Jess playfully. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
“Didn’t exactly give me the chance, did you?” he asked, eyebrows raised as he made his way over to his duffel.
“Excuses,” she shot back.
“Alright, alright,” Luke piped up, exiting the bathroom and walking over to Ella in the kitchen. “What’s up, kid?”
Letting out a heavy sigh, she turned away from Jess and faced Luke, mouth set in a thin line. “I’ve been sent here to tell you that Liz’s dress ripped. But Lorelai is fixing it and everything is fine. She’ll just be a few minutes late. But no one’s getting left at the altar or anything.”
“What’d you say?” TJ chimed in, panicked, in his thick New Yorker accent.
“Nothing, Liz is just running a little late getting dressed. Go put your outfit on, buddy,” Luke said, reassuring.
Narrowing his eyes, TJ stared suspiciously at the three of them before finally giving a nod. He took the hanger which held his heavy Renaissance costume into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Ella was comforted by the fact that the next time she saw him he would more than likely be fully clothed.
“Nice tie,” Ella said, feeling odd seeing Luke out of his usual uniform. The black suit looked stiff on him, but his burgundy tie was surprisingly fashionable.
“Thanks,” Luke replied, almost begrudging, almost anxious.
Jess walked back over to the two of them near the kitchen table. He had a pale, yellowish button-up over his black t-shirt, yet to be buttoned. “He’s nervous.”
“I am not,” Luke argued.
“I bet Lorelai will think you look great,” Ella teased.
Luke rolled his eyes dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” Then, he went to deal with the shoes on his bed. The polish was practically a hundred years old, and its chunkiness wasn’t yielding the best results.
As Jess finished buttoning up his shirt, his gaze roamed over Ella. She wore a lavender, cap-sleeve dress, chiffon with a hem which stopped just above her knees. Over it, a silvery vest corset. Her usually messy hair was curled in long, golden ringlets, and it was done half-up, half-down. A few loose strands hung around her freckled face. But even though her lips were shiny with clear gloss, her eye makeup was dark and smudged in a grungy style as usual.
“You look nice,” Jess said with sincerity, nearly winded, breathless from the butterflies which flew around in his stomach.
Smiling shyly, Ella’s flush deepened. “Thank you. Don’t look so bad yourself, Mariano.”
He nodded humbly.
But then, Ella furrowed her brows and she reached up to straighten the collar of his shirt. “You have to remember to fold these right. How many times, Jess?”
Ignoring the electricity he felt at her touch, he looked down and saw the hefty black Doc Martens on her feet. He regained his confident smirk, smug.
“No heels?” he asked as she took a step back from him, satisfied with his shirt.
She mirrored his expression, conspiratory. “Never, when I can help it. Last time I wore them was at Sookie's wedding. One of the worst decisions of my life. And, hey, Liz said I could wear my own shoes.”
Jess snickered, picking his watch up from the kitchen table and fastening it around his wrist. “Wait to cheat the system.”
“Thank you very much,” she replied with a little bow. “See you out there?”
“Oh, can’t wait,” Jess drawled, feigning excitement.
“Hey. Game face, Mariano,” Ella said, pointing a finger at him as she made for the front door. “I’ll save you a seat.”
.   .   .
With Liz’s dress finally fixed, Ella jogged over to the town square from Patty’s, hearing the strings and flute players biding their time, keeping the moderate crowd entertained. So many people were wearing costumes, flowers in their hair, and bells on their shoes. She would have rolled her eyes, but she was clutching at her middle and nearly doubled over when she finally made it to the end of the aisle, trying to catch her breath. Jess stood in waiting for his mother, and his eyes widened when he saw Ella panting.
Bringing his hand to her arm as he crouched down, he furrowed his brows at her. “Woah, Stevens, are you okay?”
Nodding, Ella swallowed dryly and straightened up. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, Mariano. It’s just hot. And I’m only getting about half the air I normally do. I’m dizzy, that’s all.”
“You wanna sit down? I can get you some water?” he asked. Though she was usually pale, her face was almost never so ghostly.
She shook her head just as the music kicked up, signaling her cue. Grabbing the basket of rose petals from the ground near the end of the aisle, she shot him one final smirk in an attempt at reassurance. “Really, I’m okay. And I’m on. Break a leg.”
“Right back at ya,” he said, a doubtful eyebrow raised.
And, in a mortifying turn, Ella skipped down the aisle and added in a few twirls, tossing petals as she went. It wasn’t exactly dancing, which was good for the audience’s sake. They would otherwise have been doomed. But her cheeks flamed and her stomach squirmed with nerves, fearing a stumble. Lorelai flashed her an encouraging smile as she went, and soon enough Ella was taking her seat in the front row, one empty chair for Jess to her right. In all honesty, she was surprised she had actually pulled it off. When she’d signed on to be the flower girl, she’d understood the role as merely walking. She’d almost chickened out when Liz had shown her the moves the night before. But, somehow, she had survived. She didn’t believe in miracles, but it came pretty close.
Then, Liz rode in at the back of the arrangement on a large chair, rolled by two men in pantaloons. Everyone rose. Jess took her by the arm, leading her down the way. Ella had to admit, Liz looked amazing in her wedding dress. And Jess, who’d had only a shy, stoic expression before, even managed a small smile as his mother kissed him on the cheek. Soon, she stepped next to TJ, and the crowd was seated again. Ella looked at Jess, as he came to her side, with a tiny smirk.
“You did well. Very firm gait,” she whispered.
Jess rolled his eyes, but his smile stayed. “Whatever, Stevens. We both know you were seconds away from breaking your nose.”
She didn’t reply, but instead licked the pad of her thumb and smudged Liz’s lipstick off his cheek.
Jess grimaced. “Ugh, Eleanor spit.”
“Ah, sweet revenge,” she said, a wicked grin growing on her lips.
Once the officiant began playing some antiquated string instrument and singing a silly song about love, all bets were off. Ella could hear Luke and Lorelai fighting laughter behind her. She bit at her thumbnail to keep from giggling, but eventually had to hide her flushed face with one hand and grip Jess’s knee with the other for dear life. Even Jess had to bite down on his bottom lip to ward off an amused outburst.
.   .   .
Stars shone brightly from the dark sky, and Ella gazed up at them as the man sitting next to her and Jess droned on about his time in prison. Having had the opportunity to meet many of Liz and TJ’s acquaintances from the Renaissance fair over the course of the night, Ella was relatively sure she would not be donning her corset dress again any time soon. Though Liz had assured her she could keep it, since it was now fitted just right to her frame. Warm air blew past them in pleasant breezes, and it made Ella’s heart feel calm, soothed. Summer was coming. She couldn’t wait. Swims in the lake (without the current of an ocean), sitting out in the gazebo with Lane, drawing the floral arrangements which would adorn town.
Eventually, the man with the tank top and shaved head rose from his seat, and left Ella and Jess alone at the table. Stray, empty plates peppered the gingham tablecloth. Deeply breathing in the clean air, Ella looked over at Jess in the glowy night, lit up by the extra twinkle lights around the makeshift dance floor which had been set up near the gazebo. Past Jess, she could see Luke and Lorelai talking and laughing amongst themselves at their table. A smirk crossed Ella’s face. She hoped it would stick this time, with Luke officially divorced and Lorelai having broken up with her rich, snotty boyfriend, Jason Stiles. Ella had never met him, of course. But from what Rory had told her, Jason had been all wrong for Lorelai.
Clearing her throat, Ella faced Jess again and propped her head up on her palm, elbow on the table. “You okay?”
Jess, sitting hunched over his nearly empty plate of food, looked up at her and shrugged. He leaned back against the back of the folding chair he sat in. “Well, I’m not bleeding or anything. Are you still dizzy?”
“No, I think my vitality has been restored,” Ella said, sighing slightly.
“Well, I know the sunlight hurts you, Morticia.”
Snorting a laugh, Ella straightened up and her tone turned more serious. “Really, though. You’re okay with her getting married again?”
Chewing on his lip, Jess shrugged once again. “I’m okay. She’s gonna do what she’s gonna do. And this one is better than some of the others. Though that bar is pretty fucking low.”
She nodded. “Alright. You can tell me, y’know. It’s okay if you’re not okay.”
“I know,” he said shortly, though not unkindly.
“Good. Glad we sorted that out, then,” she said, smiling genuinely at him.
He gave a small smile back. “Me too, Stevens.”
Suddenly, Kirk came over the loudspeaker soundsystem and announced Liz and TJ were about to have their first dance. The sweet guitar tune which played was not one Ella could instantly recognize, but she didn’t hate it. From the corner of her eye, she saw Luke and Lorelai over near the side of the dance floor. Jess watched Ella gaze out around the crowd, starlight glinting in her hazel eyes. He felt so content, and his mind wandered to the now-finished self help book sitting on the table near his teenage bed. But, before he could open his mouth to speak, Ella turned back to him.
“This song isn’t half bad,” she said. “I almost expected a Gregorian chant, but I guess they’re not quite that committed to the theme.”
“I’ll be sure to mention that in the Gazette review tomorrow,” Jess quipped. “I figured you’d think this was too happy.”
She shook her head slightly, pursing her lips. “Maybe the lyrics are happy, but it sounds sad. The music feels...depressed. Fuck, that doesn’t make sense. Maybe I do have heat stroke, after all.”
“I wouldn’t put it past you. And you tell me I don’t drink enough water,” Jess chided, shaking his head.
Ella rolled her eyes. With a smirk, she pointed across the square towards Luke and Lorelai. “Look at those crazy kids.”
Jess looked at the two of them, Lorelai settling against Luke as they danced slowly together. He laughed under his breath. Maybe Luke was taking the book’s advice, too. It still shocked Jess that his uncle had been proactive enough to seek relationship guidance. Maybe Luke would no longer be the most dysfunctional person he knew.
“Took them long enough,” Jess said knowingly.
Humming in agreement, Ella leaned back in her chair, shifting to get more comfortable. She absolutely couldn’t wait to take the dress off. “But, hey, Luke can waltz a hell of a lot better than I ever would’ve been able to.”
“Agreed,” Jess scoffed. “In those boots? You’d break all ten of my toes.”
“Hey, you managed to come away from the Distillers concert unscathed,” she said pointedly, eyebrows raised.
“The exception that proves the rule.”
She snickered but didn’t retort, instead yawning against the back of her hand. Such a costume in the nighttime heat also seemed to be making her drowsy. After a moment, Jess swallowed down his pride. He remembered Lorelai’s words, Luke’s words, and the words in the book telling him he deserved love. Jess put a hesitant arm around her, and before she knew what she was doing, instinct taking over, she brought her head to his shoulder. And it was so familiar. Watching the townspeople of Stars Hollow, saying nothing but feeling everything. And, just for a minute, she quieted the thoughts which swirled around in her mind. She didn’t worry, she didn’t bite her nails, she didn’t clutch her necklace. She only let herself feel the swell of her heart.
.   .   .
In the early hours of the morning, Ella was glad to have some silence in the house. Hep Alien was out at a gig, performing and celebrating the success of Mrs. Kim’s visit to finally reconcile with Lane. She’d come over to see her daughter’s new life during the wedding, when Ella was out. Though Zach and Brian had combed their hair and put on ironed shirts, Mrs. Kim already knew enough about Ella to never trust her. So, before she left for the wedding, Ella parked her car outside the diner and left no traces of her presence in the living room. As Ella was coming back through the front door, already unlacing her corset, the three band members were getting ready to rock, as Lane put it. With Dave out at college in California, they were still missing a guitar player, but they’d booked something at a random bar near New Haven. They were relying on their minimalist White Stripes covers for the time being. Lane had given Ella an excited squeal and a big hug before leaving, offering her friend a brief rundown of the evening. Mrs. Kim still wasn’t overjoyed, but she had at least done a walkthrough of the house.
Finally able to breathe again, Ella had cracked open nearly every window of the house to let the cool breeze in. Her hair was damp and loose from a shower. She was dressed in an old Pixies t-shirt and some plaid pajama bottoms, more comfortable than she’d been all day. It had been taxing, but more fun than she thought it would be.
And Jess. So different but so easy. A quick goodbye. Apparently, though, he had just gotten a cellphone. He had given her his number, after a fair amount of her teasing. She’d promised to take advantage of Luke’s house phone during her breaks. As hard as it was to watch him disappear into the dark diner, parting ways as she walked back to Lane’s and he went to pack up his stuff, at least she knew it wouldn’t be the last time they spoke. She could’ve sworn, as they sat for nearly an hour with her head on his shoulder, she had been transported back in time. Somehow, she had forgotten just how safe Jess could make her feel. How right. But with it brought confusion.
He lived miles away, he left without a word, didn’t speak to her for over a month. If she hadn’t grabbed the phone from Luke, would he have ever tried to get in touch with her at all? No matter how much she wanted to be with him, she couldn’t forget what had happened, how it felt. Despite what Lorelai and Rory may have thought, calling to check in on her best friend every once in a while was different than forgiving the past.
Snuggled beneath a thin throw blanket, Ella doodled inside a copy of The Waves. She had tried to focus on the words for only a few minutes before giving up entirely. Her thoughts were too loud; she couldn’t quiet them down enough for fiction, even modernist. Instead, she drew a Renaissance scene, a grim reaper sneaking up on a gaggle of beautiful, corseted women.
She furrowed her brows when a knock sounded on the door. It was Lane’s house, and she hadn’t mentioned expecting anyone. Nonetheless, Ella tossed her book and blanket aside, crossing her arms over her braless chest defensively. But, she found only Jess on the doorstep. He had donned his leather jacket and stood with his hands shoved in his pockets. His expression was largely unreadable, but she almost thought she saw a shine in his brown eyes.
“Hey, Mariano,” she greeted him, smiling. “Is something wrong? Is it that rust bucket again? If you need a place to crash while Gypsy’s fixing it, I’m sure Lane would be okay if we shared the couch, or the floor maybe-”
“Can I come in?” he asked suddenly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
Ella nodded, face falling at his anxious tone. She stepped aside for him to pass. “Sure. Everyone else is at a gig near Yale. Just Virginia Woolf and I tonight.”
A half-hearted smirk crossed his face as she shut the door and went back to the couch. She gestured for him to sit in the armchair across from her. It was a wonder how the band managed to fit any furniture in the living room at all with the drums and other gear set up on the wall near the front door.
“What’s wrong, Jess? Did something happen?” she asked gently, tilting her head at him.
He swallowed harshly, running a hand over his mouth. “I need to talk to you.”
She nodded. “Okay. Well, here I am.”
Breathing a heavy sigh, he took a long pause, then finally locked eyes with her. “Come with me.”
“What?” she asked, chuckling slightly in disbelief. Was he joking?
“To New York. We could work, live together, be together. God knows they would love your art up there. You could sell it on the street if you needed to, and I know people would buy it. I love you, Elle. I love you so much and I wanna be with you.” He gestured passionately and spoke with such conviction that Ella was almost rendered speechless with shock.
Gathering her thoughts, she began to shake her head slowly. “You don’t love me, Jess.”
“Of course I do!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been in love with you for two years!”
She gave him a doubtful glance.
“Since that day in the gazebo! I’ve thought about it over and over! When you took my hand, and you showed me the hydrangeas through the hole in the roof, and you told me you didn’t care whether I went to college! And you took off your heels to walk home, right before you left for New Britain. And I’ve loved you every second of every day since!”
“Oh really?” she asked, voice growing tense. “You loved me when you left without saying anything? You loved me when I went a month without knowing whether you were alive or dead? You loved me then?”
Jess bowed his head slightly and sighed again. “Yes. I loved you so much then. And I love you now. I’m sorry, Elle. Okay? I know you couldn’t count on me then, but you can now! I’m here! I’m right here!”
Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella only kept shaking her head. “Jess, you can’t do this to me. I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can. You can do anything. You’ve always been able to do anything! And I know you want this, too! I know you love me!” he continued, tone pleading now.
Tears sprang up and spilled over in Ella’s eyes before she could stop them, and she wiped angrily at her cheeks. “Please stop.”
“Look, I know you’re scared-”
“No, Jess, you don’t know!” she interrupted, voice raised to a yell. “You don’t know! You were gone. Overnight. Just gone. And you didn’t call for a month! I didn’t know where you were! You left! Just like everyone! Just like my fucking mom! And my older brother! And you broke my heart!”
For a moment, the air stood stagnant and charged between them. Crickets and cicadas hummed outside. Stray yells, noises from the wedding party, still sounded in the distance. Jess sniffled and blinked back tears. Ella wiped furiously at her cheeks. Soon, she had her elbows on her knees and was hiding her face in her hands.
“Eleanor, please, I’m so sorry! I was so lost! Luke kicked me out and I didn’t know what to do! And I did leave you. But not forever!”
Ella gave a muffled, bitter chuckle.
“I wanna be with you! For the rest of my life! But not here. Not in this place. Not in Stars Hollow! We can start new!” he said, voice strained with emotion.
Raising her head to face him again, Ella clutched at her necklace. “I can’t leave, Jess. My little brother’s still here, I’m starting summer classes in a week, I-”
“It’s not about him. It’s not about them. It’s about you and me. It’s about what we want! You already left your place! Everything you own is in your backseat! You’re ready! Let’s go!”
“No!”
“I love you, Elle. I know you love me too! You say you don’t believe in it, but I know it’s not true! You love me and we love each other and we’re supposed to be together! Let’s go!”
Still, she shook her head vehemently.
“No, Jess!” she shouted, louder than she expected to. She had stopped trying to hide her crying. Her tone was cracked. “No! You don’t get to come here and try to save me! I don’t need any saving! We said no cop outs! We said we were gonna try! And you left without trying! I’m not falling for it again!”
Jess, too, had tears streaming down his cheeks. “Eleanor, I can fix it. I promise, I-”
“Don’t Eleanor me, Jess! It’s too late! You promised before and you left me! Fuck and run! And I should’ve known!” she exclaimed hotly. She raked her hands through her hair, pausing, but it seemed Jess might have nothing more to say. “I think you should go.”
His jaw tensed, and a crestfallen look appeared on his face. “Eleanor, you know we love each other. Please...please just come with me.”
Breathing a broken sigh, Ella averted her gaze from him, dejected. Her heart twisted painfully. She almost couldn’t take it. She stared at her hands, wringing them together in her lap. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Jess. Sometimes love isn’t enough.”
Mouth agape, Jess stared at her in the lamplight. She loved him. He loved her. They both knew it. But her voice, with no affection for him in it. Nothing at all but sorrow. And it clicked in his mind. He would never have her again. He’d done exactly what he’d promised not to do; and he would forever pay the price. She could hold a grudge like it was her job, Luke had said. Patience, Lorelai had said. He hadn’t listened. Maybe he deserved love, as the book said, but not from her. As he walked out without another word, he didn’t slam the door. He shut it gently behind him. And a cold stone of grief sat heavy in Ella’s stomach. She sat on the couch, weeping, until the birds chirped and the sun rose.
23 notes · View notes