#my screen kept freezing and blacking out throughout the entire process

[shararan]

pc struggles be damned, i had to pick up the binghe sketch i abandoned last month

#scum villains self saving system #svsss #luo binghe #fanart #mxtx #my art #my screen kept freezing and blacking out throughout the entire process #working on figuring out how to build a new one #once thats done nothing can stop me #fun fact i scrapped a matching sqq to go with this lbh for that very reason #one day though... #did you know? the B in Binghe stands for Baby. im a scientist so i would know

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels: SHORT SERIES PART 2

PART 1

Member: stripper juyeon

Genre: angst, drama

“i know it hurts to smile but you try to.”

the end.

it was almost traumatising -- no -- it was traumatising.

to see juyeon listen to your command. 

the last time you will see him was the view of his back, a single, lone tear dribbling down his left cheek as he looks back.

almost like he was looking back at your past with him. 

like he was bidding you a painful goodbye.

now, five years into the future, his eyes were different.

maybe it was the makeup, or the hair, or the clothes.

but this is not the juyeon you recognised. this is not the man you met in the library. almost ten years ago. 

he is stone cold, he is a professional at this job, even if it was a raunchy, controversial one. he is hardened concrete and he is a piece of stone that medusa looked at and turned to rock. 

he is a dead flower that you failed to care for. 

you’ve tried convincing yourself that it wasn’t your fault. that juyeon had, in fact, been a terrible boyfriend.

who leaves their girlfriend hanging on edge for days and then gets himself involved with another girl?

then again, your mistake on its own was one to be reckoned with. 

despite the reputation of the club you were sitting in, juyeon doesn’t take off a single piece of clothing. 

the skin of his neck and chest and occasionally, the skin on his arm when the shimmering outer layer falls over his shoulder, is pale under the spotlight. pale like it belongs on a corpse, and it takes you awhile to decide who felt more dead given the circumstances.

you wonder if he’s seen you, or recognised you or even let you have some kind of effect on you.

watching him dance wasn’t terribly new, but you’ve never seen him perform something of a similar genre or dancing technique ever. 

the material of his leather pants was wrapped so tightly and snug around his thighs, your eyes find trouble peeling themselves away from his legs. the whites of the shimmer on his clothes do no good from preventing your attention to gloss over his collarbones and his adams’ apple. 

your throat runs dry with anxiety when his dark orbs finally look up and they pierce through yours for a solid second. 

the eye contact sends violent shivers down your spine and throughout your body, not realising that your ears were naturally cancelling out the music because all you could pay attention to was that juyeon was having more of an effect on you that you’d like to admit.

it was terribly arduous a task to ignore the bitter taste of displeasure on your tongue when you notice the way your friends were looking at juyeon. 

he is no longer yours, and he is just doing his job. it is none of your business how people look at him.

but confusion overwhelms you like a spell being cast over your head, the witch condemning your demon back to hell and into the realm of truth which you’ve kept away in a coffin for so long.  

“you lie but i don’t let it define you.”

he is looking at you like he knows your secrets. the sharp edges of his eyes feel like knives against your neck and his hair makes him look like he has demon’s horns growing out of his head.

the red and black lighting makes you feel like you were truly in hell, and a strangling ache begins to crush your lungs. 

juyeon is dancing with every strand of emotion he has in his blood, and you feel it more than you know your friends were feeling it. 

he is moving with the music with the ripping of his heart he remembers when he saw you with sangyeon. 

he is reaching up into the air with the vulnerability he presented to you when he cried.

he is walking away with the reluctance you remember seeing printed all over his back when he leaves your dorm room.

your deep breath was shaky, at a complete loss of stability when you find yourself nearly choking up. your friends burst out into cat calls, standing up and applauding the performance. 

they scream something at you, probably encouraging you to stand up and clap too or something, but you don’t register it. not when he’s disappeared into the dark without even taking one last bow.

barely twenty minutes later, you were sat in a private room with a classy-looking karaoke set-up, and your friends were already on their third song, screaming the lyrics of The Weeknd and Post Malone like they were tone-deaf.

it distracts you every now and then, but the version of juyeon that’s strutting around in the building has buried itself in some burrow between the muscles of your brain. 

your friends down way too much beer for this amount of screaming, so they end up ditching you for the bathroom after they scold you for being such a spoil-sport.

they are almost tripping over one another on the way out, leaving you inside the private room with your phone, a disco-ball and some tracks playing in the background.

you hope looking through the documents you’ve got saved on your phone for work will pry your mind away from where you were, and it was working until the door clicks open again.

the brightness of your screen makes it difficult to identify the face that walks in, but it’s not too perplexing to recognise the height, the build, and the fact that he was alone.

medusa freezes you when his face comes under the light, and he pulls the blinds over the window on the door. 

“your friends paid me to do this, so just let me do my job.”

his voice reminds of you of something similar to a siren. sirens who sing and seduce shipmen to lure them into shipwreck.

when were the gender roles reversed?

just the way he looks at you in the dim lighting was enough to make your skin crawl. 

your phone remains lit up, in dire need of providing you a brighter source of illumination besides the television that was flashing on the wall of the room. 

reluctance was dripping off the edges of his clothes as he walks towards you, his costume unchanged and his makeup and hair looking like they were just reprinted onto his head altogether. 

his eyes glowed an eerie darkness in the lack of light, his fingers coming around your phone and gently pulling it away from you, locking it in the process as he places it on the table behind him.

had you not known this man, this might’ve been sexually appealing. but it was because it was juyeon, he knew all the right buttons to push. 

he knew where to gently brush his hand across your neck and cheek and he knew how much pressure to press into your skin to make goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

but now, he is running his hand up your arms like feathers, fingers gently brushing against the hairs on your arms with his neck right over your head, in a bid to make his provocative dance more exciting.

the scent washing off him slaps you back to when you hugged him for the first time, and it makes you realise he hasn’t changed his cologne since. 

the nauseating memory becomes a terrible reason for you to abruptly shove juyeon off you, and you back off to the other end of the sofa while he looks at you, surprised but not entirely amused. 

“i highly doubt you’re allowed to touch customers. female customers...” 

he runs an exasperated hand through his hair, looking away with such disdain, you wouldn’t have missed it even though you were in a dark room (which you were).

“it is part of my job, y/n. as long as i don’t touch any intimate parts or if the customer sounds out about being uncomfortable and i stop, i’m all good.”

it is a freeze frame again, the only things moving in the room were the circles of light reflected off the discoball in the room. 

“in any way,” he rubs his jawline with his thumb. “i was paid to spend thirty minutes with you, and i’m not allowed to compromise it after i receive payment.”

the air was filled with a horrid mixture of beer and cologne, his cologne, and you reprimand yourself for not being able to block him out. 

your sins have come back to haunt you, and it doesn’t seem like it was going to go away that easily.

“i’ll make sure nothing happens to your pay,” your legs come off the sofa and meet the floor, trying your best to maintain your composure while you reach for the cup of beer. “just don’t... don’t touch me.”

the television warrants your attention while you try your best to ignore him awkwardly standing at the edge of the C-shaped sofa lining the curved wall of the room. 

the uncomfortable atmosphere was making the beer churn in your gut like it was a washing machine. 

juyeon sits down by the edge of the sofa, a safe distance from you as he takes a can and cracks it open without asking.

“what are you doing here, juyeon?”

the question comes out sounding like a command instead of a query, a frown forging itself on your forehead without looking at him. 

neither does he look at you while he gulps down easily half the can of beer, and he sucks his lips between his teeth before placing it down on the table.

“part-time job.”

“does your day job not pay enough?”

“my day job doesn’t let me do what i like to do.”

you smirk to yourself, picking up your cup of beer and finishing what was left in it. 

“so you went to a dance academy for four years and graduated from it... only to not do something related?”

you watch as he turns to glare at you from the corner of your eye.

“fun.”

it feels like the witch living in the back of your skull was dribbling curses all over your tongue, making you say things you know you shouldn’t say, making you feel things you know he had every right to feel as well.

rage. jealousy. hurt. 

“i’m sorry, did i happen to miss something important here?”

“did you?”

he looks away, an exasperated smile of disbelief printed on his lips. his arm reaches out and rests on top of the backrest of the sofa, his thumb fiddling with the metal rings he had on his fingers. 

fingers that were once interlocked with yours; fingers that once caressed your cheeks and your eyes. 

“i can’t believe five years didn’t do much to your maturity.”

“maturity?” his words leave paper cuts on your skin. “you really want to talk about maturity?”

“oh, sure. definitely better than running off and sleeping with a club alumni, right?”

your body feels like a puppet being controlled by the resident witch in your head and she pulls you to your feet, your blood already beginning to boil like poison and potions in a large, black pot over a fire. 

juyeon is still sitting down, one leg crossed over the other as he looks at you. under the shitty lighting, you could see that he was hurt. he was in pain, from the sole reason that you were standing in front of him.

your deep breath was shaky, and your eyes flutter shut for a second in attempt to calm your nerves. your clenched fists were by your thighs, and the music in the private room was starting to wash out with everything that’s going on in your head.

juyeon was arguably the only person you’ve ever loved who wasn’t related to you by blood, so remembering how you ended things with him was one too torturous a deal to forget. 

“was he good in bed?”

it takes you awhile to process juyeon’s question, but it only pushes all the wrong buttons all over again.

“leave him out of this, sangyeon has nothing to do with it--”

“how does he have ‘nothing to do with it’ if he was the one who shoved his dick into my girlfriend--”

“your girlfriend? you disappeared off the face of earth for god knows how long--”

“i was busy and caught up with work--”

“and it leaves ‘your girlfriend’ no time but you had time to go out with someone else--”

“she was my project partner--”

“what project? a performance project? bet you had fun laughing the night away in the studio with her--”

“and i bet you had fun letting someone fuck your brains out when i wasn’t around to do it--”

“so you do know you weren’t around to do anything?”

juyeon turns away at your last blow, and you realise tears were collecting in the corners of your eyes. 

the roles really have reversed.

back then, he was the one who cried first because he caught you with another man. now, you’re the one breaking because you were feeling the hurt in the relationship before he did. his reaction just drowned your pain out back then. 

“where the hell were you when i needed you?”

silence. 

“we had a deal that you’d be there for me if i needed you, and even then i tried my best not to rely on you completely because i knew how much you wanted to get into that academy.”

no response. 

“i thought i was being unreasonable for wanting you to be around. but at some point of time, it really did feel like we weren’t together anymore. it felt like we had a break up and i didn’t know about it.”

the tears roll down your cheeks despite your efforts to keep them in your tear glands. the back of your hand meets your skin on your face and the wetness cools your eyes in the air-conditioned room.

“i blame myself for sleeping with sangyeon but it doesn’t feel like you’re blaming yourself for forgetting about me.”

you reverse in your steps to grab your purse, walking the other way round the table so you didn’t need to pass him on the way out. 

your heart was relentless in pushing out all your grief in the form of tears, and you push past your friends when they meet you in the hallway. 

they are shocked and surprised, probably worried that the stripper they hired was being inappropriate, but the security footage of the room would clear juyeon’s name anyway.

by the time you were home, you are exhausted. it feels like your soul had been sucked out and shoved back into your body with a complete absence of mercy.

it feels like your bones had been pried and yanked out from under your muscles and nerves, tendons and flesh being ripped and snapped with splatters of blood flying everywhere.

the witch has cursed you into some agonising dimension of pain and torture where you could see your own blood on the walls, where you’ve been picked apart like a lego artwork and then haphazardly put together again.

all because of juyeon.

it is ironic, to realise and to be fully aware that you are only feeling this magnitude of anguish because you still loved him. 

five years spent trying to let those feelings for him wear away, by convincing yourself that he was a shitty boyfriend for forgetting about you and then be angry when he realises you’ve replaced him.

you can’t deny it was your fault for sleeping with sangyeon, but had he shown a little more care and concern without frolicking about outside with another girl, you would’ve been more secure. you wouldn’t have opened your heart out to sangyeon, who was kind and caring and gentle.

so what if sangyeon was good in bed? 

so what if juyeon might be better?

he’ll never be able to provide you the same amount of safety and warmth sangyeon did, and he had proven it himself. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be continued

#juyeon #lee juyeon #the boyz #the boyz juyeon #juyeon angst #juyeon fanfic #juyeon smut #the boyz fanfic #i am in pain

[helgabatwrittings]

You and Me against the World, M’lady - Day 3: In Denial

@ladynoirjuly2020

I know I’m 2 days late xD. This prompt happened because of a convo I had with @katiechat and @sassykittynoir so blame them xDD. Hope you like it!

Marinette was in heaven! Gabriel had just released the spring collection and with it, an abundance of brand new ads featuring Adrien! ADRIEN!! So yes, she was glued to her computer watching Adrien strolling down the steps of the Sacre-Coeur like an angel walking on Earth. She kept hitting the replay button, watching that same ad for, well, she stopped counting after the 5th replay. It’s just that he was so perfect! He was wearing a black suit, perfectly tailored for him, and an image of a certain partner of hers kept crossing her mind, setting her body on fire in the most pleasant way.

Marinette shook her head. Why was she thinking of Chat Noir? Especially when Adrien was right in front of her looking at her with his emerald and seductive eyes. “Adrieeeen…” She breathed, the History homework on her desk long forgotten.

Suddenly, and to finally break her out of the Adrien induced trance, a pop-up notification appeared at her screen, signalling it was time for her patrol with Chat Noir.

“Marinette, it’s time for patrol!” Tikki floated right in front of her face preparing to break her out of the Adrien-induced hypnotic spell.

She breathed disappointedly, “I know, Tikki…”, well, she would have stayed all night looking at Adrien’s various photos released throughout the day, but she had a responsibility to Paris, and her kitty was waiting for her. Her heartbeat faster at the thought of Chat Noir and her mood immediately lifted, gracing her lips with a soft smile.

“Alright, Tikki, spots on!” Red and black polka dots replaced her civilian attire, and with a new vigour filling her being, she zipped out of her room towards the Parisian rooftops.

Chat Noir and she scouted the usual route they did for patrol, and so, as always, they decided to catch a break before they had to go home. That was when she noticed the huge billboard featuring the newest perfume ad from Gabriel, right in front of the rooftop they were resting. 

The ad was in the same setting as the small video she had spent her entire afternoon watching. Adrien in that perfect black suit, leaning on the white travertine stone railing on the Sacre-Coeur’s balcony, with Paris as background, all in all, he looked so handsome, so unattainable that her legs went weak, thank God she was currently sitting, or else, she might have fallen off the rooftop.

Despite all the effort she was making in trying to look cool, especially in front of Chat Noir, who would surely use that moment to tease her, her brain and mouth betrayed her, “Adrieeeen…” She clamped her mouth with her hands as soon as that name had come out. Her heart raced and she was certain that her entire face was the same colour as her suit.

Chat was staring at her as if she had grown a second head, he was gaping like a fish out of water, and Marinette could see how the cogs inside his head were turning as he was figuring out how to react to what just happened.

And then, as if he had restarted, Marinette saw the shit-eating grin forming on his face, and she knew that she was done. Well, she would have to deal with it now, Chat’s teasing was the price she had to pay for being distracted the entire patrol. To be honest, this was all Adrien’s fault for being so perfect, it wasn’t her fault that he was Adonis’ incarnation, and why did Gabriel have to spread all those damn billboards across Paris? Marinette sighed in defeat.

“So, m’lady… are you a fangirl of model boy over there?” Chat wiggled his eyebrows, leaning towards her.

“What?? WHAT??” How would she get out of this? “Pffffft, of course not!” Marinette only needed to keep her cool. She could do that, even if her brain was a jumbled mess. 

“You sure? Well, I must have misheard when you were swooning at the billboard over there.”  God, if Chat got any closer, she would explode for sure.

“N-no. No!! I’m not a fan, pffffft.” She chuckled nervously. The trick was to act dumb. That would work. “Like, I don’t even know who that is.” Marinette mentally facepalmed, ‘Not that dumb!’, she thought. 

“Hey, I won’t tease you, m’lady! I’m sure he would be flattered to have you as a fan.” Chat’s cheeks were developing a slight shade of red, for some reason, Marinette couldn’t understand. Did Chat know Adrien personally? Was he jealous? Should Marinette confess that she was indeed a fan of Adrien? That she was more than just a simple fan? 

“Okay, maybe I do appreciate his work, and that is all I will ever tell you!” Marinette huffed, feigning annoyance. Couldn’t a hole suddenly develop right under where she’s sitting and swallow her whole? Was it possible to die of embarrassment? She only hoped that Chat hadn’t noticed how nervous she was. 

“You know, buguinette… If you’re looking for a model to be your muse, I happen to know just the right person.” Why had his voice dropped like that? Was he trying to be seductive? Marinette was finding that it was harder and harder to keep her cool. She was trying not to burst. 

“Uh…. And who might that person be, Chat Noir?” Two could play this game.

“Well, me!” Chat pointed towards himself in excitement, bouncing like a little kid on Christmas morning.

“You?” Marinette quirked an eyebrow. 

“Yes!” 

“You model?” 

“I do! I wasn’t lying when I said I looked irresistible in swim trunks.” Chat winked at her smugly. And that was when Marinette burst out laughing, she just couldn’t keep it together anymore. The idea of Chat having to stay still for the photos, his wild hair being styled by multiple hairdressers, having to wear formal clothes, or haute couture perhaps, it all seemed impossible in her mind.

“I’m sorry, Chat!” She was running out of air from laughing uncontrollably, “I bet all the pics come out blurry!” Tears were falling down her cheeks.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I’m pretty successful!” He smirked, “I’m an a-meow-zing model, M’lady!” He batted his lashes at her and Marinette was sure that she would die from a laughter attack.

“You’re a dork, that’s what you are!” She lightly punched his arm, finally managing to keep herself together. Chat was an amazing friend, he was always there for her, and he always managed to cheer her up. Marinette was certain that she wouldn’t manage to be Ladybug without him. She couldn’t even imagine her life without her silly kitty by her side. A pleasant warmth spread across her body as she thought of Chat Noir. He was looking at her smiling. His soft emerald eyes had a sparkle that could light up the Eiffel Tower. He had beautiful eyes, she noticed. Almost as beautiful as Adrien’s. 

“Uh… Anyway…” Marinette had to stop freezing at the sight of beautiful green eyes. “I don’t admire Adrien because he’s a model. I, uh…” How could she explain what she felt towards Adrien without giving away her identity, without breaking Chat’s heart in the process? Her gaze drifted to the streets below, in search of the perfect words, “I admire him because of his kindness, because despite everything he went through he still manages to see goodness in everyone, a bit like you to be honest. I, uh, our paths have crossed plenty of times by now, and I happen to know him a bit more personally than his other fans. He’s so patient, Chat! And so humble too! There’s this girl I know, uh, who stutters a lot every time she talks to him, and he has never belittled her for it, he lets her take her time, always with a smile of encouragement on his face. He’s just so good, Chat, and he went through a lot, he still goes through more than any person deserves, but he overcomes all his hardships graciously.  The world would be such a better place if only there were more people like him. I’m extremely grateful for having him in my life.” Marinette looked at Chat who was staring at her in awe. 

And it was on that note that Marinette decided to end their night, she had already revealed too much. It was getting harder and harder to hide her identity from Chat. He was her partner. They had saved each other lives multiple times. All Marinette wanted to do sometimes was to just let go of the rules and tell him everything. 

“I have to go now, Chat.”, she had to leave before she did something she might regret later. And so, Marinette ran towards her house, leaving behind an astonished partner sitting on that Parisian rooftop. 

#miraculous ladybug #ladynoirjuly2020 #fanfic

[a-common-haitian-name]

The Legend of Little Jane

Please do not distribute my work to other sites without my permission. This was a small assignment for school that is mainly for the purpose of getting feedback. It is a bit long though so please keep that in mind.

On November 19th, at exactly 11:24 at night, detective John Lynch was asked by his friend Nick to come over. The night sky was dark and dull, not a sole star in sight. The only sources of light were from the old, dim street lamps, flickering on and off repeatedly and revealing the secret city below. The lights revealed the dirty streets that was filled with tired men trudging through the streets, worn out from work or yelling on their phones, or soccer moms coming out of bars after breaking their sobriety, or addicts wandering around aimlessly, looking for their next fix, their clothes old and torn. He adorned a long brown trench coat, with black slacks, and black leather gloves before he went out into the night. John felt the cold, winter air hit his face as he left his old, and deteriorating motel room. It was only going to get colder, John remembered, and groaned as he walked to his car. His feet made splashes in the puddles from the rain, and he shivered as the icy water hit and seeped into his pants. The once shiny blue paint on the car was now chipping off on the sides. Scratches and dents aligned the right side of his car, ranging from long to short, deep to shallow, and the word destroyer was keyed jaggedly on the left. John couldn’t afford to get it fixed. John opened the door and watched as a few beer cans fell onto the pavement with a soft thunk. Some were empty and crushed, while others were half full and spilling onto the concrete. He could smell the old beer coming from the floor of the car. It was putrid and filling John with disgust. John promised himself that he would clean his car. John moved the trash and paperwork out of his way (he couldn’t tell which one was which) and started the car. While he waited for the car to warm up, he took a small, black, leather notebook the size of his hand out of the glove compartment and opened it up. The notebook was old, and John couldn’t remember how long he had it, or who even gave it to him. The edges of the book were curled in, and the once white edges of the book were now brown and crumpled. The cover of the book was bumpy and rough, like sandpaper. The words methane and fire were the first words he saw written in the book, next to acid and smoke. Some of the words were either scribbled in the book, almost to a point of unreadability, or they were written neatly and with care, perfect enough for Catholic school. John liked to write in the book. It kept him sane, and grounded. It was a way to avoid the dreaded reality of his miserable existence. John wrote 11:24 and went to see what his friend needed. At 11:45, John arrived at Nick’s house. It was an old Victorian house, bought because his wife was richer than both of them combined. The outside was a light blue, with many windows and white borders. They had once bright plants in the front of their yard, that wilted and lost their color, and had yet to be replaced. Nick was an old friend of John’s. He was a nurse at the hospital across their small town, and has a wife and 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl, all 3 years apart. John could barely remember what they looked like. A part of John wished he could have something like that. Nick was standing on his porch, pacing back and forth, his bare feet hitting the wood at a fast rate. The red wood under him squeaked like an old mattress as he walked. Pit pat. Pit pat. Pit pat. The rhythm replayed in John’s mind until he approached Nick, and Nick stopped pacing. Fast flashed through John’s mind, and he made a note to write it down later.

“John!” Nick’s voice sounded panicked, and he looked somewhat disheveled. His dirty blonde hair was all over the place, and his gray robe was opened slightly, revealing dirty gray sweatpants and an old, tight-fitting t-shirt.

“What is it Nick?” It was the first time he spoke in hours. His voice was almost gone, and his breath smelled like cheap liquor and breath mints.

“I need your help! There’s this girl who might not be safe! Her parents aren’t answering the phone when we try to call them, I’m really worried because it’s been a few hours, and... and...” Nick was talking too fast for John to understand, and John asked him to slow down. “Nancy, my wife, has been tutoring a little girl around Susie’s age,” Susie was his daughter, about 6 to 7 years old, John remembered. “Nancy gave the girl her number to call us whenever she needed something, like to be picked up or if she needed food, and she called tonight, well I think it was her because no one was talking on the other line, and I don’t know if she’s alright! She might be hurt or in danger or worse-” John stopped him from saying anything else. Nick tended to ramble when he was nervous. He would’ve talked for hours if John hadn’t stopped him.

“Nick, tell me where she lives.” John ordered slowly, as to not push him into another tangent.

“It’s in the woods, 20 minutes east of Old Al’s pitstop.” John thought back, trying to remember where that place was. Old Al was long dead, and with him went the pitstop. No one has taken care of it in years. The place was surrounded by overgrown vegetation, and its only visitors were kids going to drink and vandalize the place, or animals passing through. John wondered why anyone would want to live near t///here. Despite his skepticism he got into his car and drove to the house, though in the back of his mind, a voice was telling him not to go.

When John arrived at the house, an eerie feeling passed through him. The entire area around the house felt empty. There were no trees around the house, no animals making any noise, not even a car in front of the house. The house felt out of place, like someone just picked up a house and placed it down at a random spot. The outside of the house was a plain creme color, and vegetation crept up the sides, clinging onto nothing before falling back down, only to repeat the same process over and over again. Growth flashed through his mind. Write it down later, John reminded himself. John knocked on the giant, white door and watched as it slowly slid open, with no one on the other side. John peeked inside, checking to see if anyone was there.

“Hello?” John called, but he received no answer. His feet hit the fluffy blue welcome mat, and he wiped the mud off his shoes as he stepped inside. The house was as empty on the inside as it was on the outside. To the left of him was a kitchen, where everything was white and clean. No dishes in the sink or any leftover food on the counter. To the right was a living room with one small couch against the brown wooden floor. In the middle was a long hallway with three white doors. Probably a bathroom and two bedrooms, John guessed. There was nothing on the walls. There were no family photos hung up, nor where there any Christmas decorations put up early. There were no undecipherable drawings from children of houses or of their family, or any annoying toys that make noises that ring throughout the house. The walls were the same crème color as the outside, and the furniture wats the same shade of white. The house was completely silent except for the drip drop of the water from the sink, and the low murmur of the tv in the living room. In the middle of the living room there was a little girl. She sat with her knees up to her face and her eyes glued to the tv screen, not blinking even once. The child had wispy black, curly hair, which was cut into different, and choppy lengths. Her eyes were black, unmoving, and caught in a trance. She was wearing a pair of blue fairy pajamas that were old and seem to be becoming too small for her and had a bandage on the inside of her right arm, from a scratch or a fall, John guessed. Bruised, John thought briefly, before walking up to her. The girl was shivering intensely, and John couldn’t blame her. The house was freezing, and John didn’t spot a heater anywhere. He squatted down to her level and waved a hand in front of her face. She still didn’t move. John’s eyes flickered from her to the tv. She was watching an old black and white show, one that John couldn’t remember the name of. The same scene was playing repeatedly. A woman, pale and doe eyed, running through the halls, away from the fast approaching shadow that was going to consume her whole. John walked to the tv and turned it off. When he looked back at the girl, he saw that she was now staring back at him. “My name’s John. What’s your name?” She only blinked once and shrugged her shoulders. “Where’s your parents?” John asked her. She stared at him for a few seconds, still not blinking, and stood up slowly, stumbling as she got up. John noticed Jane written poorly on her leg, the lines jagged and rough. “Jane? Is that your name?” John asked again but got no answer. The girl walked past John, into the hallway, and stopped in front of the first door on the right. Jane (John guessed that was her name) stood there for a few seconds before turning the shiny yellow knob and opening the door. John pulled Jane aside and walked into the room. John then faced the unholy sight of two dead bodies on the bed. One man and one woman. They both had black hair and had olive skin. Their eyes were closed, and they both looked so peaceful. They weren’t dressed like they were ready for bed. The man was in pair of basketball shorts and had a t- shirt on, while the woman had on a bathrobe, which was slightly open, revealing the lingerie under it. The only thing that were alike between the two were their golden wedding bands. Husband and wife. John concluded. Parents. John looked behind him to see Jane just staring at the two on the bed.

“Nothing’s alright in the end...” Were the only words Jane spoke. John quickly grabbed Jane and left the room, spotting a propane heater on the way out. John called the police, and sat with Jane until they, and the paramedics, arrived forty-five minutes later.

“Propane poisoning, I’m guessing.” The paramedic told him, watching as someone took the now empty tank of the propane heater out of the house, two body bags following close behind. “We’ll be sure once a full autopsy is done... Is that the daughter?” The paramedic tilted his head to Jane, who was sitting quietly on the ground right in front of the tv. John nodded. “So sad to see someone experience something like this at such a young age.” John decided he would drive Jane back to the police station. John led Jane to his beat-up car and opened the back door for her. Jane moved the liquor covered papers and beer bottles to the side and sat in the car. John closed the door and went to the driver’s side, where destroyer was waiting for him. John got in his car and looked back at Jane one last time before driving off. Fast, growth, and bruised ran through his head, replaying over and over until the loud sound of the rain drowned it out. John was brought back to reality when he heard the low rumble coming from the back.

He looked at Jane through the dirty mirror and asked her, “Are you hungry?” John received a small yes in response, and John decided to visit a small diner nearby. Betsy’s, John thinks the name was. The diner had been there even before John was born. It was a small diner, big enough for 10 tables and a kitchen. It was white and always smelled of cleaning supplies, cheap food and cigarettes. It was starting to rain when they arrived at the diner, and they had to run inside. They sat at a small booth in a corner. “What do you want to eat?” John asked Jane. She shrugged. John ordered her french-fries. He ordered himself a beer, which arrived quickly. The two were quiet while they were waiting for Jane’s food, until John decided to break the silence. “Jane do you know what happened to your parents?” He asked.

“They died...” Was her answer as she shifted in the plastic red chair. Pit pat. Pit pat. The rain became louder as it hit the window and dropped to the ground. Jane’s food arrived, and she started to eat it slowly.

“Do you know how?” It was a long shot, and John didn’t know why he was asking her these questions. He blamed it on the liquor.

“They were fighting,” She started, tearing a fry into 3 tiny pieces with her little hands before eating it. “I’m not supposed to move when they fight.” There was a tinge of sadness in her voice. Pit pat, pit pat, pit pat. That eerie feeling from earlier was back now.

“Did you move?” John asked. Jane only nodded her head, looking down at her plate.

“I didn’t want to hear it anymore. They were so loud, all the time. I wanted it to stop.”

“What did you do?” John asked. His beer was gone now, and he was starting to become anxious. A tear rolled down her face, and she made no room to wipe it away.

“I took the tank... I remember father telling me not to breathe too much of it because it could hurt me, but I saw father using it all the time, so I thought I could do it too.” John took notice of how she said father instead of dad or daddy. Formal pounded into his head. “They came into the room and pushed me out. They were still fighting. The tank was still on.” Jane stopped eating and was full blown crying now. John could imagine how it played out. The parents, still unnamed, stormed throughout that one-story house in the middle of nowhere. One was probably chasing and yelling after the other. Little Jane was sitting tightly in front of the tv, probably put there to distract her. Later, the tv is turned down, while the yelling continued. For how long, John didn’t know. They had probably taken the argument to the kitchen or outside, close enough for Jane to hear it. Jane, most likely at her limit, took the tank from the kitchen or a toolshed in the back. John wondered how long it took Jane to drag the tank to the room. Four, maybe five, minutes. He imagined Jane turning the gas on, waiting as the gas quietly filled the room. Pit pat. Pit pat. Pit pat. John imagined the parents coming into the room, one of them yanking Jane by her arm and taking her out the room. They were still arguing and probably weren’t paying attention to the open tank. They probably argued themselves to sleep and died through the night. Dark came to him.

“Why didn’t you say something?” The sound of the rain became unbearable at that moment. Jane, her tears now gone, didn’t give him an answer, and only looked out the window next to her.

#writeblr #writing #black writers #writers on tumblr #fiction #thriller #or at least that was what I was trying to go for #critics are welcomed #my writing

[hxlsteads]

Disclaimer: This imagine is Jay x reader however I did take ideas from the show and this can easily be read as a Linstead imagine!

It'd make four months now. Four whole months since you broke up with your boyfriend of a year, four months since you'd last heard the words 'I love you' roll effortlessly off his tongue and four months from the moment you had to board that flight and leave your career behind because of your prohibited actions. Sure you missed your job but that didn't equate to anything near how much you missed your former partner. Not a single day passes where his blue eyes didn't cross your mind; the way that even by a simple glance at them they'd brighten your day in an instant. Everything with him by your side seemed so perfect- maybe that's just the sole reason why after all it had to come to an end.

Spanning across over a year, yours and Jay's relationship wasn't always easy. Every day with your careers there was a good chance one of you would end up hurt; physically or emotionally but I guess in the end that's what made you that strong. The fact that no matter how big or small, you both could read each other like a book so you knew when something was up simply showed just that. But I guess that's where it all went wrong. When everything just continued to spiral downhill you just didn't want to drag him down with you yet to do that you had to ignore him. Phone call after text lit up across your phone screen but your finger still tapped away at the lonely button turning it once again black. You knew he was worried and you knew he had realised something was up but you just couldn't bear to hear that slight crack in his throat that always appears after he hears something he didn't want to, without failure. You had to do what you had to do in that very moment; even if it was certain to leave your heart fractured for a long period of time. Some would just say Alex was someone to just get over Jay, a way of releasing that built up stress that would've been gone within a split second of being in Jay's arms. And he was just that but in some ways also more...

It was around two weeks into your new start when everything changed. You hadn't left your new apartment- one that in actual fact felt nothing like 'home', you'd lie in bed most nights letting your tears soak into the pillows and you'd lost pretty much all of your appetite. Nothing was the same anymore. Daily, all you could think about was that particular moment playing on and on like a broken record, the exact moment when you walked out of the 21st district and breathed in the cold Chicago breeze for one final time tearing down everything you'd built over the past couple of years. Looking back at it you could've handled things differently; prevented all of this... but you let your temper get in the way of your career guidelines and now you sit in an entirely different state and an entirely different state of mind. Even with the constant thoughts of him circling your mind and the constant bickers and laughs in your head that originally annoyed you but now are all you had left of the district you wanted to make an effort. Everyone kept badgering you over and over again when you first joined your new unit to include yourself more. Go out for drinks with the crew and stop moping around. They didn't know the reason why and you had absolutely no intent on telling them however you couldn't exactly keep it up for too long. Soon after, enough became enough and a so-called 'annual' work party occurred inviting not only first responders but the 'friend of friends' type of people from all across town. Sure enough one drink soon led to another and consequently resulted in you tangled in the sheets with a man who wasn't Jay...

Waking up the following morning you instantly rolled over to see the face of someone beside you that wasn't that man you once perceived as 'husband material'. You couldn't deny that slight feeling of emptiness knowing this just didn't feel right, didn't piece together. But maybe you just had to make it. You couldn't bring back the past so why shouldn't you just try to move on.

So you did...

As hard as it was, a mere three months later you still found yourself turning underneath the sheets to be greeted with the warmth of his body. It was almost as if as time passed he continually filled that fraction of your heart that was torn from you the second you walked away. He made you happier on days where I'd usually struggle to even process getting through- well he did. That was up until around two weeks ago when words became slurred and that happiest was broken before you could even finalise your sentence following the few words that had turned your world upside down only a couple of days before.

It seemed nothing could go your way in any circumstance. Something always had to send a collision course to send it off track before happiness could even be seen as a final destination. Now before you could even blink your eye everything was crumbling right before you, settling to nothing. Just nothing...

Once again you felt yourself become more sleep-deprived as the calendar rolled on and the sickness became unbearable to the point where work wasn't even a viable option. You always hated to miss a day's work. It wasn't hard to notice that but it just shows how little everyone here really cared about you. The lone fact that nobody after your two-week hiatus even thought to call or stop by symbolises that... These people weren't built on the stable force of family values. Now you were needed. You were simply lounging on the couch when you received a call that sent shockwaves pulsing throughout the entirety of your body. A unit in Chicago needs desperate help with a case and we're on our way to provide that. Chicago alone scared the life out of you. You wondered if it's even the same as when you left it; but as more seconds passed and the brash tone continued to whisper down the phone your heart sank as he elaborated on the unit we'd be working alongside. Intelligence...

Kim: WHAT (click link to see full text messages)

In all possible senses of the word, the journey here was indescribable. The flight was okay in a way, it all just went in an opposite direction the very moment you stepped one foot back onto Chicago soil. It seemed everything was just moving in slow-motion; endless amounts of halts at intersections, far too many cars on the road at once and that ongoing sickness that still lingered in the pit of your stomach. Now rubbing your sleeve across the steam covered windows you felt yourself heave a sigh of relief seeing that one building that way all too familiar knowing you'd finally be able to leave this sweat masked taxi. Even if it, in turn, scared you half to death.

Texting Kim letting her know you were finally here, you soon found yourself perched on the bench around the side of the building seeing the onslaught of cars that rolled up and more members of your crew roll into the district. You'd never been so thankful for a seat in your life... You could just take the weight off your shoulders for a couple of minutes, not in plain view of everyone entering and exiting the unit which is what you needed. After all, you didn't exactly want to be in the faces of all these people you once considered family... who once considered you to be family. Minutes that felt more like hours soon passed and a slight creak of wooden panels signalled someone was perched next to you, forcing you to lift your head from out of your hands. "God I actually can't believe you're here! Look at you y/n with that pregnancy glow!" Kim's voice rang out, leaving you now unable to bask in your own silence as answers would very soon have to be revealed. "How are you!?"

"Ugh I wish I felt like that. I just feel like crap right now. I guess just travelling on top of the usual sickness is just piling up. Pretty sure I could also easily get the flu from sitting out here. I forgot how cold Chicago gets around this time but to be completely honest I'm not ready to go in yet." You muttered, not fully knowing what to say to her. I mean she was one of your closest friends and she was still acting like that but you just couldn't fully accept that she doesn't have that small bit of resentment towards your unannounced departure.

"No don't worry y/n. Hank's the only one upstairs. He's got the rest of the unit out questioning witnessing whilst he talks through the case with your crew. Trudy's also filing things out back so you could easily get past her. Now come on. I'm not letting you freeze out here."

"Fine Kim. But I swear to god if you're messing with me here." You stated, rising to your feet to follow closely behind Kim into the warmth of the district which was once home.

Buzzing yourselves through the gate and continuing to wander up the steps as quickly as this extra weight could carry you, you couldn't quite subside the lump that had formed instantly in the back of your throat. Especially so when you let your eyes wander the room as you reached the top step. It was the same- your desk completely bare all besides the member of my unit that was ever-so-slightly perched against it, watching intently as my former barked his orders for this case. Your eyes stayed rested on him and it all brought you back. The countless days you stood in that position right before him, your sergeant...

It wasn't long before you saw his eyes twitch scanning the faces crowding the room one by one until they finished on you, a long breath escaping his lips he didn't let his focus shift any further. "Y/n..."

"Wait you two know each other already?" You heard Scott, your current partner question, clearly sensing the awkward tension that stiffened the entire atmosphere.

"This was my last unit." You answered quickly, allowing for a slight smile to lace upon your features as a flurry of memories flooded your brain. "Hank, can we talk please?"

You had to admit to the fact you were worried. He may not be your sergeant anymore but he was still a man you looked up to for years as a father figure and god you weren't sure how he'd react to your news. That all became increasingly worse and your stomach twisted in knots seeing that faint nod towards the door of his office... "Hank erm- I guess there's a lot to say." You mumbled under your shortness of breath, slumping heavily into the couch across from his desk.

"You can start with why you didn't return any of my calls. Y/n I put in good word for you and watched you say goodbye but you promised you'd stay in touch. What happened." Hank spoke, his voice growing more and more gruff by the second, something that put you on edge. It was now or never for you... You just had to tell him.

Shifting in the seat, you subconsciously wrapped your arms around the centre of your stomach, the fabric of your oversized coat shielding away the biggest secret that'd soon be revealed. "Hank I wanted to but I just couldn't... You told me to leave everything behind but I found out after a while that it followed me; Chicago. Whenever I thought about it, it broke me and only one person knows and I just don't know what to do- I can't even overpower it with work anymore and-"

"Woah kid. Slow down because you're not making any sense."

He was right in turn. You just had to do it, rip the band-aid right off then and there. As he once told you before you left. No regrets...

"Hank I can't work on the field... I'm pregnant."

That was it. Done. Already you could see the mental processes his mind was running through, clearly in a state of confusion trying to put dates together. "4 months Hank." You answered his mental question.

For the first time in this past 5 minutes, you once again brought your eyes to meet his, seeing his jaw clench out of the corners of them. "Halstead know?" He murmured calmly, the complete contrast to the shaking mess you currently were.

A stream of tears soon threatened to spill down your cheeks as you pressed a palm to your forehead. They weren't easy to control and soon after the waterworks were switched on full force as you shook your head. It wasn't down to debate, there was a good chance he'd react just like Alex did. After all, you did leave with no warning... no goodbye.

As your sobs began to draw to a close, a familiar sensation soon took over you forcing you to immediately excuse yourself from Voight's office and make a mad dash for the bathroom. Except it wasn't close enough. Running into the locker room you lunged for the nearest trash can, emptying the contents of your stomach into it, your eyes watering even more than previously. The heat of the room soon became too much as you felt yourself slip the heavily fabricated coat off your shoulder, resting it on the bench before returning to your last position. Hunched over the black bucket, your coughs echoing around the walls.

"Y/n..." You heard your name whispered just as it was a mere twenty minutes ago. This time the voice was less brash, instead was a soft tone, and underlying pain making it hard for you to breath. You knew this voice- better than anything else. The very voice that soothed and comforted you to sleep every time you returned home and all you felt like doing was crying.

"Jay." You breathed tiredly, lifting your head away from the can and towards the entrance to the room. Rubbing the back of your hand across your lips you couldn't release your gaze from him. He still looked exactly how you left him. Maybe his beard was slightly scruffier but those baby blues that always had a way of captivating you were still ever-present.

"I- I wasn't expecting to see you here." He spoke with evident falters affecting his clarity as he lowered his eye-line to scan the rest of your body.

"My unit." You choked out before without any delay you lowered your head to catch sight of the now distinguishable bump that protruded against your work sweater. It was now out there; he knew. And it was evident, his eyes single-handedly fixated on your torso, he was taken over by pure shock.

"Erm; congratulations I guess. Alex must be a happy guy..."

It broke you completely, shattered you to the core seeing the dullness that took over his eyes. He tried to conceal it but two years of partnership and a year of a relationship meant it was easy to see right through him. "Happy without me... We're not together. We never really were."

"I saw you two on Instagram. He seemed alright. I mean obviously I had to contact him and make sure but what, he just left you? He's gonna be there for you and his child isn't he?" He questioned, a sudden rush of anger surprising you.

"You checked on him? I mean he was alright but we were never serious. I guess that's what made it easy for him to leave."

"Of course I did. I still cared about you y/n. I always will. If I would've known he'd turn out to be a douche and leave you without providing for his child then I would've done something. I just can't believe you're being so calm about this. His voice rose to a high volume signalling his recent build-up of frustration.

"It's not his that's why." You blurted before you were even aware of the words that rolled off your tongue and subsequently instantly regretted them. You quickly closed your eyes before reopening them hoping it'd all be one big and bad dream but still he stood there, eyebrows furrowed in a state of pure confusion. As if it was instinct, you rested your arm across the top of your stomach seeing him try to seek an answer from the information you already provided. "Jay... this baby's yours. I didn't know at first but now I do. Honestly, I'm fine if it's too much and if you want to just forget this and just walk away but this is the truth and I now realised you deserve to know it. I should probably just go." This whole situation was just beyond stressful- to the point where now you stood beyond your breaking point. Snatching your coat off the bench you scurried towards the door, feeling goosebumps rise off your skin as your shoulder brushed past his, however, a tight grasp on your upper arm drew you to stop dead in your tracks.

Before you could even think about arguing, you were stunned and left speechless as you were spun around, his eyes cloudy and diluted when they looked down on you. "So you're just going to leave again... Before I can even say anything?" He stumbled over his words, each of them causing another warm tear to cascade down your face. "We can make this work. I'm not running away."

An onslaught of different emotions came running back to you all at once and they instantly formed that lump once again in your throat. "I- I shouldn't have left. We- we had that argument a week before and I didn't know what we were anymore. When I was told I had to leave I just thought it'd be easier not to see you. I knew I wouldn't be able to leave if I spoke to you. I'm sorry Jay." You grew increasingly more vulnerable as you broke down even more.

"Hey, shh, shh." Jay wrapped his arms around you, tugging your weakened body close to his chest. "Look I have to admit I was pissed you left without telling me. I thought I meant more to you than that. But honestly, I wish I'd have done more to bring you back and ever since I'd been just hoping something would bring me back to you. I guess it's this." He spoke, his pupils dilating slightly as the famous Halstead grin appeared on his face.

Reaching up, you swiped your thumbs across the base of his eyes, wiping away the newly-formed tears. "Hey, not a day went by that I didn't think about you and when the doctors told me I was four months along I didn't really know what to think. Yes, I thought about just not telling you all together, I mean for all I know you could've been happy with someone else but I'm glad this came about. Almost like it's fate." You softly whispered, gazing back down to your growing belly. “Coming back here I truthfully just wanted to ignore you. Everything became so messed up so fast and I really didn’t know how you’d react if I did tell you. I know, I know you wouldn’t have been harsh or whatever but Jay, we never even approached the idea of kids. I didn’t even know if you wanted them...”

“I did. I do.” Jay huffed. “I always wanted to mention it but I never knew how. I already knew commitment was a difficulty for you so I never wanted to push it. I always liked the idea of having kids, especially with you but I didn’t know whether you thought the same.”

A grin was soon embedded onto your facial features as you listened to his delicate words that made your heart swell to at least twice it’s size. “I didn’t. I never wanted kids until I met you. I mean if it was completely down to me it would’ve been later on since we’ve only been together for what a year? I was scared at first I’d have to do it alone but now standing here, none of that matters because I know how great a dad you’ll make. I mean if seeing you with Owen if any indication.” You explained, placing your palm lightly on his chest- the fabric from the grey cotton v-neck top that you knew was his favourite under your fingers.

Soon enough the small gap that was left between your two bodies was diminished as Jay engulfed your petite frame into a tight hug. “You’ll make a great mom as well. Don’t ever doubt that.” He whispered in your hair before simultaneously letting his lips peck the side of your head, resulting in a slight shiver to be sent down your spine. After all, it felt exactly the same as it did a few months ago. “You aren’t doing this alone. We’ll make this work, no matter what.”

You remained motionless as a couple of minutes began to pass, just allowing your minds to rekindle what you thought you’d once lost. Just until a harsh tone bellowed out, loud enough to bounce across several rooms in the unit, “Halstead, we got updated info. Get your ass out here.” 

“That’s our cue.” You giggled, dragging your body away from the heat of his and proceeded to saunter out of the locker-room, practically into what was set to be an interrogation in its own right. Especially since Halstead still moved directly behind you, his hand cupped against the small of your back as you reach the crowd of your unit, gathered around intelligence who were all seated at their desks. Jay soon joined that trend, leaning back in his chair with his feet lifted onto his table as you slotted yourself into the gap of people to stand next to him as expected gaining a loud roar as my old unit noticed it was in fact you.

“How nice of you two to join us. Guys, this is y/n’s new unit. Halstead, I’ll leave it to you to introduce yourself to everyone later since you did everything but that when you returned here.” Voight snarled, clearly annoyed at Jay’s lack of discipline disobeying something he was most probably ordered. “For now we’ve managed to piece together four possible suspects, we only have a location on one as of now so y/n, your units rolling out there. Y/n you’re staying here though and working with Ruzek to cut down another location. Rest of you are searching databases, phone records, everything we can get on these guys. Let’s go, I don’t want any talking, just get this done and get whoever this bastard is off the street.”

God, you wanted to speak, talk about anything. I mean there was still so much to discuss but if you’d learnt anything over the years, it was to never cross Hank Voight. Not that you’d end up at the bottom of the river but Jay certainly would. You adopted a different way though. All you needed was three words, three final words before you’d be completely satisfied with this moment and able to go back to doing what you do best. Pulling his top drawer open, you grasped the notepad he’d always kept there that held so many memories. Most of which ended in the unit bin after Voight found screwed up notes across the span of both of your tables. He never held a grudge though even through that. You were just two kids in love. Scribbling onto the page, you took one final look at the words ‘I missed you’ to let a grin upturn your lips knowing how much you truly meant it. Only one thing was missing for you now though, your heart suddenly grew so whole in the space of a single hour yet still one thing remained only a secret to you.

You reached your hand into the back pocket of your jeans, watching closely as Jay’s eyebrows rose when he tried to make out your intentions. Soon enough, in your hand lay a small photograph, to be exact, the very ultrasound that changed your life forever... now you know, for the better. You lay it directly on top of your writing prior to slamming the pad shut and placing it down in front of him, walking away to take seat in your former chair ready to gauge his reaction from across the room. It wasn’t long before his face lit up as his orbs scanned the sonogram and they rose shortly after to glimmer your direction. To say it melted your heart would even cut it- it did so much more than that once he shifted his arms, carrying the picture to sit in the corner of the photo-frame you got him for his birthday before you left. You never did find out what he put in it but it didn’t even matter- now it held your whole world and it didn’t matter what else it carried. A world you wish you’d stayed with forever in the first place, but a world you were now beyond lucky to live in...

A/N - Okay Jay as a dad... it’d be perfect. Honestly I got so carried away with this but it’s only because I absolutely loved this imagine! I hope you guys did aswell. As always I’d love if you’d let me know what you thought so I can continue to improve in my future writings! Requests are also still open for One Tree Hill, Chicago PD, and Chicago Fire so you can still send in any prompt or normal request you may have! Thank you!xo

#cpd #cpd imagine #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #one chicago #jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead oneshot #chicago imagine #possible #linstead

[atrocitycl]

VIXX LR - “Whisper” Review

(Music Video) / (Dance Practice)

VIXX LR – Whisper

Reviewed on October 28, 2017

So, unlike the many fans and listeners who praise VIXX LR’s latest song, I argue the opposite: that, if we move beyond stylistic preferences, we will find that “Whisper” is an incredibly incoherent song. That lack of organization is why I struggle to critically enjoy the song—even if, as many have said, the vocals and the like are rather appealing.

Personal Message: It has been an entire month without any reviews, and I greatly apologize for this. While better time management would have prevented this situation, I had to pause writing reviews and subtitling videos for the sake of keeping up with my studies. However, all is going well in my life and I hope to better allocate my time so that I can maintain a consistent schedule with reviews. After all, my university life is only going to get busier in the future—not less. So, I hope and plan to develop a schedule that will allow reviews to carry on, and of course, to be more concise with reviews.

Regarding this review, it finally addresses a one-month-old (if not more) request. To the requester, I apologize for the massive delay (and likewise to the reader who also requested Sunmi’s “Gashina”). As of now, I believe I might have to temporarily stop accepting requests—or at least, I will have to put a disclaimer on their finished dates. That said, if reviews become far shorter to write, this dilemma toward requests might be unnecessary.

On topic, however, VIXX LR—a sub-unit of VIXX—will be the artist we focus on. “Whisper,” while no longer quite a newer song, is at least still VIXX LR’s latest song. Many fans and listeners cherish the song: comments from various sources appear to praise the duo’s vocals, and regarding the song’s composition and production, many also favor the song’s “chill” stylistic approach. Although stylistic preferences are certainly acceptable and are by no means wrong to have, I personally question—challenge, even—many listeners’ and fans’ take to “Whisper.” A song’s style is not sufficient for determining whether a song is excellent in quality or not; we need to go deeper and account for the composition at play. Unfortunately, though, analyzing “Whisper” in this aspect brings many concerns. So, unlike the many fans and listeners who praise VIXX LR’s latest song, I argue the opposite: that, if we move beyond stylistic preferences, we will find that “Whisper” is an incredibly incoherent song. That lack of organization is why I struggle to critically enjoy the song—even if, as many have said, the vocals and the like are rather appealing.

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Song Score: 5/10 (5.25/10 raw score) - “Average”

- Vocals: 6/10

- Sections: 5/10 (4.86/10 raw score)

Introduction, Rap, Pre-Chorus, Chorus, Rap, Pre-Chorus, Chorus, Post-Chorus, Bridge, Chorus, Conclusion (Post-Chorus)

1.     Introduction: 6/10

2.     Rap: 6/10

3.     Pre-Chorus: 4/10

4.     Chorus: 3/10

5.     Post-Chorus: 4/10

6.     Bridge: 5/10

7.     Conclusion (Post-Chorus): 6/10

- Instrumental: 4/10

- Lyrics: 6/10

Tell me your love to the point where I melt Tickle my heart Show me your love Yeah we’re burnin’ up, baby Whisper yourself into my heart

Especially more so today Time seems to freeze when I see you I can’t handle you, it transcends narcissism My instincts have already gone up I try to calm down my excited heart but it breaks down Calm down, down, down My body is slowing down right now, now No limit, limit, what is your limit? Tell me ahead of time Everything has levels But you’ve erased that process You are my song, yeah baby I’m different from the other wolves who only look for you at night I look for you every moment of every day, girl

You can have all of me, it’s alright Do you know what I want? Carefully, right now

Softly, whisper to me, girl Whisper to me It’s quiet but it feels dangerous You have me specifically flexin’ It’s a secret sign Our own party without anyone knowing Whisper language

I can use both arms and legs but I can’t fully express everything I don’t care about a party filled with losers My focus is on you Chillin’-chillin’ we need a secret This is something that happens on a screen I’m feelin’ like a Gosling I’m sure of this feeling Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you Really love you I can’t figure you out but my head is already there I hope at least half of my predictions will be the answer I hope this night connects us We can be quiet Because I think this is strangely more fun

You can have all of me, it’s alright Do you know what I want? Carefully, right now

Softly, whisper to me, girl Whisper to me It’s quiet but it feels dangerous You have me specifically flexin’ It’s a secret sign Our own party without anyone knowing Whisper language

Whisper Yeah tell me, tell me your love Whisper Yeah I can even hear your breath, love Whisper Yeah tell me, tell me your love Whisper Yeah I can even touch your voice, real love

Don’t hesitate anymore, feel your vibe However you feel, movin’ Falling into the black hole, my black hole You don’t care about the meaning of beauty But you just show yourself to me I’ve already gone crazy but you drive me crazy again You make me fly until the end

Once again, whisper to me, girl Whisper to me Burn me up, like you’re testing me You analyze me like you’re flexin’ It’s a secret sign Our own party without anyone knowing Whisper language

Whisper Yeah tell me, tell me your love Whisper Yeah I can even hear your breath, love Whisper Yeah tell me, tell me your love Whisper Yeah I can even touch your voice, real love

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Analysis: Before boldly critiquing the composers’ work, I find that we still need to acknowledge what many fans and listeners have established: sonically, “Whisper” pleases our ears. We find this sentiment supported by individually focusing on each section. For example, the rapping sections are rather developed. If we listen to the first rap section that occurs, we should notice that Ravi’s part is more than just a straightforward, typical, rhythm-based rap. The composers also introduced moments where the rap drastically slows down and instead adds in tune versus rhythm—this being clearly heard with the pitch-enhanced (or pitch-edited) bits that are dispersed throughout. This all works in favor, though, of creating rap sections that function more than as a song’s break. After all, notice how in many K-Pop songs the rap sections tend to provide a mere change of pace in a song. But, in “Whisper,” with the rapping being rather flexible and complex—and later in the song, also being mixed in with Leo’s singing—this allows listeners to interpret the rapping as a main core of the song’s aural appeal.

But, all of that said, “Whisper” as an entire song is incoherent—and sadly, no amount of individual, aural appeal can compensate for the song’s lack of organization. Consider the song in this manner: as if it was an essay. Yes, I can already hear the skepticism with this analogy: “This makes no sense; the only thing we see is your teacher-side showing.” But, bear with it for a few more moments. Imagining that “Whisper” is an essay, we can understand that its individual aspects—its individual paragraphs—are beautifully and thoughtfully written. However, we notice a problem with this essay: Although each paragraph is strong individually, none of the paragraphs make sense when we put them together to form an actual essay. One paragraph focuses on a certain topic, but the next paragraph switches to an entirely new topic—and again, individually we acknowledge that those single paragraphs are perfect. The same applies to “Whisper.” While its individual aspects are solid—such as the singing or the rapping—none of these aspects easily connects to the other. As individual chunks of a song, “Whisper” is great; as a unified, single song, “Whisper” is not great.

Diving into examples of this incoherence, let us focus specifically on the conflict that occurs between the rapping and singing. Again, both on an individual level are excellent but the song lacks in relating the two together. This is why the choruses are structurally jarring despite how Leo’s singing soothes us. When the choruses arrive, listeners are disorientated by the sudden changes: despite a rap section building up to the choruses, rather than a chorus that builds off that hyping, it instead begins from a new beginning. In other words, given that the rapping and even the pre-choruses seem to be working together toward a climactic point, it is odd that the choruses fail to follow through. Instead of the choruses being a notable, climaxing point where the rap sections and pre-choruses come together, it appears as if the choruses completely begin its own song. The instrumental at the choruses, for example, are not similar to the rap or pre-chorus sections and instead take a sudden calm approach. Furthermore, Leo’s singing style—while definitely serene and beautiful—does not complement Ravi’s rougher rap lines.

What would have been preferable, I argue, is if the duo’s vocals were similar in style or perhaps even alternating in a dynamic fashion. Towards the latter half of the song, post-choruses are introduced and these sections take on an interesting form: a blend of both Leo and Ravi—a blend of singing and rapping. If this was established sooner in the song, I foresee this incoherence problem being prevented. Or, as mentioned as well, if the two vocal styles were able to relate directly this would be another potential solution. If Leo’s singing at the chorus, for example, was slightly rougher and focused on intensity so that it would match Ravi’s rapping style, there could have been a clear connection there. The opposite holds as well: if Leo’s softer, graceful singing is to be kept, then Ravi’s rapping could have followed a softer demeanor to match. Overall, without having an aspect that relates the two’s rapping and singing, it leaves “Whisper” sounding divided. In these duo situations of blending in rapping and singing, I find that Mad Clown’s and Soyou’s duo song of “Stupid in Love” provides a strong example of balancing the two different vocal performances. In “Stupid in Love,” Mad Clown’s rapping is definitely of a faster and more intense style. However, Soyou’s singing style still matches due to an instrumental that remained consistent and how, even if her pacing is slower, her own vocals were kept in a more direct, rough manner versus being airy and soft.

All in all, if not for this lack of cohesion in the song, I would predict “Whisper” excelling due to not only having solid rapping and singing, but also due to a powerful chemistry between those two aspects. As it stands, though, that is not the case. Without that cohesion—that sense of connecting the song into smooth, single piece—it does not matter how brilliant the rapping or singing are. Fans should definitely still enjoy the song for its “chill” style, but in terms of discussing the composers’ decisions and analyzing the song in this critical manner, I argue “Whisper” is a relatively weaker song—or at least, it lost a lot of its potential. Of course, however, disagreements can and should occur—this is why I write reviews, after all. For discussions. For creating a space where fans can critically and maturely discuss why they believe a song is strong or weak. And, in the end, “Whisper” still manages to hold onto a five—a rating that indicates that, overall, the song is not exactly bad, but neither is it necessarily good.

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Whether this was a smart decision or not, I decided to use some of my usual “homework time” to instead write this review—but, I find that this was a worthy decision. Sunmi’s “Gashina” should be finished soon, and afterwards, I will see if I can realistically end October with two more reviews. Six posts has been my goal and I intend to keep it that way, but perhaps four might be more plausible for the next few months.

Once again I apologize to requesters and readers for the lack of content, but I do greatly appreciate any time given towards this blog. Until then, look forward to—hopefully—October ending with Sunmi’s “Gashina” and “[w]hisper to me” that I need to fix my work habits.

#VIXX LR #Whisper #Leo #Ravi #Jellyfish Entertainment #Kpop Reviews #Song Reviews #Music Video #Dance Practice

[aelinfireheartarcheron]

I love you

Part 9

This is very long overdue and I am so very sorry that it has taken me over a month to get this written. To everyone who kept asking me about it, there was just a lot going on and I have’t had a lot of time to write and I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to make sure you guys don’t wait more than a week for the next part!

Also, I am always accepting requests for fics. I’m working on three others which is another reason why this took so long to crank out. And I also love feedback on my writing so don’t be shy. 

But yeah… part 9. I’ve got some big stuff for part 10 so get ready. ;)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8.

Word Count: 4,344

~~~

A warm fire crackled with life mere inches from my freezing toes.

I was perched on the coffee table in the living room of Rhysand’s house—my boyfriend’s house.

God, that was still weird to say. Rhysand is my boyfriend. He had officially asked me over two months ago but it felt like it was only yesterday.

We were cuddled up on the couch in my apartment just after thanksgiving. The credits to the movie we had just finished were rolling across the screen. Rhys was on his side and I was on my back, nestled neatly against his chest.

The scent of jasmine and citrus and the sea was stuffed into my nose with him so close, and his warmth was making me drowsy.

A sleepy smile tugged at my lips as I felt his fingers brush my cheeks. His muttered “Feyre” made me open my eyes halfway to look at him.

“Hmmm,” I murmured sleepily to him.

He stroked my cheek gently, trying to coax me out of my disoriented state, all it did was lull me to sleep some more.

“Feyre, I— you know I really like you—“

“Mhmm.” My hand felt its way up his chest and hooked around the back of his neck. My fingers had woven their way into his silken hair.

“And we’ve been going out for a few weeks,” he paused and I had felt the weight of his eyes on my face.

“Feyre are you awake?”

My eyes fluttered open to meet two pools of violet staring intently at me.

“Feyre I—would you, I mean,” he huffed a frustrated sigh. “What I’m trying to ask—ugh. Feyre… will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” The words tumbled out of lips and fell upon me like a warm blanket.

I gazed at him for what felt like an eternity, my brain taking its time to process what he had asked. Rhysand, this amazing person who I had come to know asked me to be his girlfriend.

Rhysand asked me to be his girlfriend!

My heart leapt in my chest; I must have been gaping at him for a while because he just stared at me, disappointment growing in his eyes with my silence.

“If you need more time—”

His words were cut off as I yanked him down and crushed his lips with my own. I felt him release a deep breath as our mouths molded against one another.

When he finally broke away he smiled down at me. “Is that a yes?”

“That is most defiantly a yes.”

I smile at the memory of Rhys stumbling across his words.

He was off in the shower, trying to thaw out his frozen bones from our sledding expedition.

“You’re always welcome to join me,” he had offered with a wink. I know he was joking when he asked me but I knew he also wasn’t. Of course we have done more than just kiss since we’ve ‘officially’ started dating but we have yet to go all the way. Once I had told him about Tamlin and what he did he had backed off on most sexual approaches unless I initiated them.

In other words, I had yet to see him fully naked and my stupid fantasies were starting to get to me. Sometimes I would wake up with the image of him imprinted behind my eyelids. Everything from him laying across a settee with nothing but a sheet draped over his hips or his muscular back with glorious, membranous wings protruding from his shoulders as he gazed back at me with a wicked smirk…

I am so fully consumed by my thoughts of him that I didn’t even know notice him stride into the room until I felt a muscled arm slide around me. Rhysand lifts me into his lap as he sits on the floor before the fire, he nuzzles into the crook of my shoulder. His damp hair tickles my cheek.

“I missed you in the shower, Feyre darling,” he murmurs.

He was in gray joggers and a white shirt. His hands slip under the sweater that I’m wearing and rest against my hips, making a warm, tingling sensation spread throughout my body. Thankfully I had brought extra clothes to change into since the one’s I had worn sledding were soaked through. Fleece-lined leggings and one of Rhys’s knit sweaters—with the assistance of my fuzzy socks—were enough to revive my frozen limbs. That and the blazing fire.

My arms slide around Rhysand’s neck, burying my nose into his hair. God, he always smelled so good after he showered. I can only think of one other time when he smells this good and it’s after him and Cassian and Azriel were done working out and his muskier male scent came out and mingled with his normal aroma.

“When do you think Azriel and Mor will show up?” I ponder. I feel the tip of his nose graze the column of my throat and a shiver runs down the length of my spine. The necklace he got me for Christmas was dangling around my neck, the slim chain pushed away by his movements. It was a beautiful gift—a small, lovely, black diamond surrounded by diamond flecks and set in white gold. It completely out shined the gift I made him, a painting of the night sky, until he admitted that Tarquin—one of Rhy’s friends—Cassian and Azriel helped him pick it out.

I bite my lip and he pulls away to look at me. The fire reflecting in his eyes made my knees weak. The flames dancing against the violet backdrop was so vibrant it would forever be ingrained into my memory.  

“Soon hopefully, I’m dying for a slice of pizza.” He says. I watch as his eyebrows raise in amusement when he catches me staring. “A thought for a thought?”

I make a show of dramatically rolling my eyes at him. “I’m thinking about how I want to paint your eyes right now. The fire is reflecting in them and since yellow is the compliment of violet, it’s making your eyes look very bright right now, especially since your hair is so dark,” I say and run my hands through it. Since it’s still wet my hands glide through it with barley any effort, the locks like silk. I watch his eyelids flutter at the contact. “Your turn,” I mutter the words as I lean forward and press a chaste kiss to his lips.

Rhysand flashes his perfectly white teeth at me. “I’m thinking about how happy you make me, even if you are terribly stubborn at times—” he was probably referring to earlier when the boys had gotten into a snowball fight and one nailed me in the face. I wouldn’t accept his apology for a good two hours and was hell bent on ignoring him for the allotted amount of time “—but you still make me happier than I ever could have imagined. I’m also thinking about our trip to the cabin that’s coming up and how I’m glad I was able to call dibs on it before everyone else.” I feel his breath tickle my cheek as he speaks.

I keep forgetting that his family owns a cabin nestled into the Illyrian mountain range up North, and that Rhys had indeed called dibs on the location for the weekend before Valentine’s day. We are going to be alone in a house all to ourselves, with no one around for miles.

The thought made my blood heat. I could think of some very fun things we could do other than snow mobile and ski.

I hear the muffled noise of the garage opening but neither Rhys nor I make to move away from each other. Then comes the stomping of boots, probably to get the snow off, then the door and then, “get a room you two.” I hear Azriel’s playful voice filter in from the kitchen.

Since Rhys and I had started dating, Az had become more open to me. I finally learned why Mor was so in love with him; he really was a good guy. His static features slowly but surely started to melt away, and I know I have only just grazed the surface of the guy underneath all of that sulking, male bravado, to reveal the kindness and the humor beneath.

Rhys pulls away enough to flick him off. “Must I remind you that my room is right down the hall?”

“Then why are you all mushy out in the living room?”

Hearing Az and Rhys’s playful banter was rather amusing. My eyes keep flicking between Rhys and Az who is now leaning against the bar. “Oh don’t even go there, you and Mor are glued at the hip everywhere we go.”

“What about being glued at the hip?” Mor chimes into the conversation as she walks up next to Azriel. She holds a large pizza box in her mitten-covered hands, her hat still flecked with snow. When she gets to Az’s side, he wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her against him.

Rhy only raises his brow as if to say I told you so. I pull away from him, earning myself a sad groan from Rhysand as I pluck the box from Mor and head into the kitchen. “Oh nothing, you know how they get,” I tell her.

~~~

After we had finished the entire pizza Mor dragged me away to the bathroom to get ready for the “Summer in Winter” party that Tarquin had put together. Rhys and I had spent an entire day roaming through second-hand shops and party stores for the perfect Hawaiian and beach apparel  

Rhysand’s outfit wasn’t that bad. He had somehow managed to find a black Hawaiian shirt with purple and white flowers; I also coaxed him into getting a lei made of purple flowers. Mor is making me wear my bathing suit beneath the blue Hawaiian shirt I had found. It was patterned with palm trees and coconuts, and I had short jean shorts and flip flops. Cassian had the best outfit, or at least that was what he kept boasting to all of us, and I’m pretty sure Azriel wasn’t going to be participating in the event—unless Mor is making him, I can never tell what she is and isn’t going to make him do.

Getting ready with Mor or just even spending time with her was much needed. Even though we still have our apartment I feel like we never see each other; she’s working or I am working, or she is sleeping or I am sleeping, and more frequently she’s with Az or I am with Rhys. So any time I get to have with my best friend is greatly appreciated.

She dumped her ever-growing amount of makeup onto the counter and we crowded the vanity; we talked and giggled and applied blush and eyeliner and mascara.

It wasn’t long before we were slipping into our clothes. I was content with how my hair was so I sat on the edge of the bathtub while Mor ran her straightener through her long golden locks.

“So you two haven’t screwed yet,” her bluntness made me laugh.

“No not yet. He’s letting me choose when it happens.”

“Feyre, I love you, but you have to let me know when that is because I want you to look sexy as hell. And I need the proper amount of time to help you choose the right lingerie, trust me he’s into that.”

I laughed again. “I’m planning on doing it when we go up to the cabin for the meteor show next weekend,” I admit.

Mor’s perfectly shaped eyebrows raise in my direction. “You didn’t tell me this why? Are you going to warn him? Or at least hint at it? He needs to know so he can get everything situated on his part.”

I roll my eyes at her assortment of questions. “I was going to hint at it tonight. And I didn’t tell you because I haven’t had a moment alone with you since I decided it.”

“Fair enough, I think we both need to take a girl’s day before next weekend. You’re not the only one with big plans for that night,” she says with a wink.

~~~

Tarquin’s house was is one of those houses that are reasonably big but very homey. While it was done up with dark wooden floors and crisp walls of blues and browns, it was one of those houses that had a certain amount of wear to it.

After scuttling from the car and into the house, sprinting is more the word for it since it was snowing and I was in flip flops, I shook out my hair. Rhys, Mor, and Az were behind me in a minutes, all of us giving ourselves a second to warm up before stripping off our coats. Tarquin. Who was in a sea foam shirt, very similar to Rhys’, Bermuda shorts and a straw hat. He even had a line of sun screen across his nose.

“You guys made it!” He exclaims, the slight slur in his words hinted to the fact that he has been drinking. He hugs each of us in turn, “Drinks are in the kitchen, the party is… everywhere else.”

~~~

Cassian’s outfit, although I already knew he was prone to going all out for parties, beat out all the rest. Rhys and I had found our way to the kitchen only to see Cassian standing behind the counter acting as a stand-in bar tender. I swear my jaw hit the floor, behind us Azriel and Morrigan burst into laughter.

Cassian’s chest was bare, his tattoos completely visible, and a coconut bra was covering part of his pectorals. Since he was so tall you could see the flowered belt and grass skirt over the counter. He even had a crown of flowers and leaves resting over his long, inky hair.

Before he can notice us crowding the threshold I reach into my pocket and snap quite a few pictures of him, for blackmail and of course Nesta’s enjoyment.

He looks over as he pours a concoction into a plastic cup shaped like a coconut. “You guys made it!”

I look over to see Rhys with a hand clamped over his mouth. “Cassian, what the hell are you wearing?”

Cas steps out from behind the counter to give us a full view of his ensemble, which was complete with ankle cuffs made of leaves. He raises an eyebrow at Rhys seductively.

“Is this distracting you, Rhys?” He says and wiggles his hips. I can’t help but laugh. I stride across the kitchen and clasp him on the shoulder.

“Maybe not to him, but I can guarantee that Nesta would find this very attractive.”

Cassian’s laugh bellows in my ears as I glance at Rhys who was laughing as well. “Come on, I’ll fix you guys some drinks.”

~~~

Everything is swimming is a warm, hazy light. I can’t remember how many drinks Mor and I had shared but now my blood was thrumming in my veins and the whole world seemed to tilt in a funny little way. Mor and I were dancing around each other on what was designated as the dance floor. Music was pumping in from the speakers and Tarquin had even brought out his Party Rocker so colored lights flickered across the walls.

I had started to get hot so Mor had taken my shirt and helped me to tie it just above my naval; my dark blue bathing suit peeking out. It was nice to dance with Mor because she made me look like I knew what I was doing, I envy the fact that even in our disoriented state she is able to move gracefully.

I don’t know what happened to Rhys, I think he might still be in the kitchen with Cassian and Azriel. Wait no, out of the corner of my eye Az was making his way onto the floor, coming to steal away my dance partner.  I let out a deep sigh as she shimmies her way over to him. There goes that.

Pushing through the thrall of people I set out to find Rhys. A wave of cool air caresses my skin as I make it out of the mass of bodies all swaying and jumping to the music.

Through it all—the music, the heat, the sounds of laughter, and even my drunken haze—I heard my name.

“Feyre?”

My feet stopped in their tracks. Oh no.

No No No

I knew that voice, I spent months with that voice and now it still haunted me in my nightmares.

As I swivel around I find him standing right behind me.

His blond hair had grown shaggier, but his eyes were still the same even if they now held a glimmer of—what was that? Anger? Shame?

All of those drinks may have been a mistake. Especially now that I had to deal with him.

“Tamlin.”

~~~

I love Cassian like a brother but the only thing I hated about him is that when he was drunk, he will not shut up. He kept rambling on, mostly about Nesta, and it was honestly cute that he was so in love with her. She was good for him, able to keep him in line, just as he was good for her—he is the only person I know of besides Feyre and Elain that could calm her down.

I hope people think of Feyre and I like that. Speaking of Feyre I had no idea where she went. My eyes can the kitchen from where I was leaning against the counter.

“Do you know where Feyre and Mor went?” I blurt out. “Sorry, I haven’t seen her in a while. I really don’t want a repeat of what happened on Halloween.” Cass and Az alike had gotten an earful of what happened that night.

I watch as Cassian shrugs. “No but go check the dance floor, where else would Mor have dragged her?”

~~~

I don’t know what made my blood boil more: the fact that Tamlin was here and I didn’t know about it, or that Tamlin was here and he had corned Feyre like an animal in a cage.

After I scanned the dance floor and found Azriel and Mor together, I knew Feyre wasn’t with them. So I searched the room, until I found him, he had her back to a wall, literally, though he wasn’t touching her. I watch as he steps towards her. I watch as her eyes widen and just as he is about to reach for her, I watch as she reaches up and slaps him.

I smile to myself but only slightly until I see him raise his hand to her.

I’m not sure what happened after that.

All I saw was red and then I was standing over Tamlin with his arm twisted behind his back at an unnatural angle. Feyre was gaping at me from the corner of my eye. “If you ever raise a hand to my girlfriend ever again, I’ll do more than this,” I breathe, my grip on him tightens and I see the strain on his face and the spark of anger in his eyes.

And then I felt Feyre’s hand on my shoulder. And then I let the bastard go.

~~~

I have to say I have never seen Rhysand mad before—and maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the fact that he taken on Tamlin—but mad Rhysand was fucking hot.

Now he was seething next to me, the car going a bit fast than I would like.

“Rhys, please slow down,” I say and squeeze his hand gently. The world was still a bit hazy.

“Please just, give me a second to cool down,” he grits out. After the little incident, Rhys and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the crowd of people that had gathered around. He led me out of the house and to his car—led is a loose word for me, he was walking so fast my drunken-self had to jog to keep up.

I nod once. “Okay,” I say softly. He looks over at me from the driver’s side and I see guilt flash in his eyes before he finally eased off the gas. The tension in his shoulders finally easing slightly.

I lean over the arm rest and kiss him on the cheek gently and then settle my temple against his shoulder as he drives. I squeeze his hand again as we sit in silence. The heat from the vents and the lull of the car is enough between us, it is actually kind of soothing. All the while I keep thinking about what happened.

Rhys had saved me. Tamlin was about to do the one thing I had been having nightmares about, the thing I feared—but I realize now that it’s not getting hit that I fear, it’s being powerless—I guess he had saved me from those too. Since we had started to share a bed it was like he protected me from the nightmares that leached into my sleep. I haven’t had one in weeks. But more importantly he saved me from getting hit and embarrassed in front of so many people.

He cared so much about me that he was willing to defend me even when I thought he wasn’t around. He has spent weeks showing me how much he cares about me. I don’t think I’ve been doing a good job doing the same. In that second I come to a very serious realization. I feel his hand give mine a little squeeze.

“I love you,” I whisper before the hum of the engine and the rolling of the alcohol in my stomach has me drifting off to sleep.

~~~

Warm blankets and the smell of citrus and the sea surround me. The smell of Rhysand.

My eyes crack open and I groan, the light hurt my eyes and sent a pain down the back of my head. I cover my eyes and crack them open again. I was in Rhysand’s room but I have no recollection of how I got there.

Slowly, I push myself up into a sitting position and glance around, the room was empty.

On the nightstand beside his very large bed was a glass of water and two advils. I reach for them gratefully; I’ve downed half the glass when Rhys pushes the door open.

He has a tray between his hands, and a delicious smell wafted into the room. “Good morning, Feyre, darling,” he says smoothly. “I’m glad you’re finally awake; you were sleeping like the dead.”

I glance at the clock, it was eleven in the morning, and then down at myself. I was wearing a deep blue tshirt. It was Rhys’s. He must’ve put it on me even though I can’t remember. I can feel that he left my bathing suit on under it. I smile inwardly at the fact that he was courteous enough to give me that privacy.

“Good morning,” I reply. “Did you…carry me in last night?”

My eyes follow Rhys as he sets the tray down on the nightstand—he’s now standing right over me, peering down at my face with a sparkle in his eyes before he leans down to press a small kiss to my lips. He made breakfast. Scrambled eggs and toast and vanilla yogurt with fresh berries and granola and a big glass of orange juice. I immediately reach out for a piece of toast as he dips to sit beside me.

“I wasn’t about to leave you in the car,” he chimes. I take a bite from my toast and nod thankfully. “You were out cold.”

There was a slight pause as I reach for the orange juice and then “What do you remember? From last night?”

“I remember all of it.”

~~~

I love you I love you I love you

Her whispered words still sing in my ears like the words spoken from an angel.

After I carried her in I changed her into one of my shirts and let her sleep beside me. To be truthful I was up most of the night just watching her, holding her in my arms to make sure she was still besides me.

Feyre told me she loved me and now I know for sure it wasn’t just the alcohol that was running through her last night.

She looks at me a moment longer before she sets her glass down and crawls towards me until she is close enough for me to feel the heat radiate off of her lovely skin.

“I remember it all, and I meant what I said Rhysand. I love you.”

I search her those infinite pools of blue-gray, just like the ocean during a cloudy day, and then a small smiles tugs at my lips. I reach for her, pulling her into my lap. My lips press gently into hers and when I break away I bury my nose into her hair.

“And I love you, Feyre.”

~~~

We sit and hold each other for a long time, sharing kiss, running fingers through hair, and just feeling. Feeling each other’s warmth, feeling Rhys’s heart thunder beneath his skin and him feeling mine.

I sit up in his arms then, looking him directly in the eyes. I didn’t get to tell him about what I decided was going to happen next weekend—not with everything that happened with Tamlin.

“Rhysand, darling, I have a proposition for you. About next weekend.” This has his raising his brow at me. “Do you remember asking to do a model session with me? When we’re at the cabin, I might just take you up on that offer for a nude model session…but only if you’re the one painting me.”

#a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #acotar #acomaf #acowar #feysand #feyre #rhysand #moriel #mor #azriel #nessian #nesta #cassian #elucien #Elain #lucien #The Night Court #high lord of the night court #High Lady of the Night Court #rhysand's inner circle #sarah j maas #sjmaas #fanfic

[igarashione]

Importance of Computer Education at School

December 19th, 2017

It is evident that companies and incorporate still lack security, at the same time carrying millions of personal information of clients. Currently working as a system engineer, I see a great need for the future generation to be adapted to new technology. Working at an information technology industry, I have examined the speed of growth of technology that we have been examining is enormous. More the world become dependent on technology, the future generation should not only use the technology but be able to build and understand the technology that they will use. Personal information has value and people should have an understanding of how to protect themselves from their data being taken advantage and how to utilize them it to keep updated. Children should be educated about computer hardware, software, and the danger evolving in cybersecurity at an early age.

Growth and Demand for Computer Technology

From my experience, growing up with video games back in the 90s, I physically felt the great technological advances that have been made. I remember playing a handheld video game with a black and white screen during elementary, but by the time when I was in high school, I was able to browse YouTube on my video game console. The speed at which technology has improved in our generation is substantial and has kept accelerating at a substantial rate. Not only video games but television, cellphones, music players, and the internet have made a huge leap in technology. This great growth in the development of computer technology has expanded rapidly throughout the whole world.

In my early years after graduating high school, I studied computer networking, which has led to an opportunity to work at a government-owned internet service provider in Japan. I soon find myself in a large, freezing room full of loud roaring machines stacked over each other, every once a month. I felt astonished and amazed to examine what was really under the hood of the great internet. Going through thousands of diagrams illustrating network circuits connecting all around the world, gave me clearly understand the scale of this great technological revolution. So many of the businesses today relying on technology. Experts say that today computer science has become more predominant in schooling today because it connects to multiple career paths, computer science is intellectually important, computer science is important to industries, computer science supports and links to other sciences, and computer science helps both scientific and societal problem-solving. (Zendler & Hubwieser, 2013, pg. 131) A large amount of demand in servicing so many of our secretary needs has become one of the big reasons why technology has grown so fast. Computer technology has filled in the demand of industries and almost about everything.

I was also able to walk through an underground tunnel that connects the entire Tokyo city. Tokyo city renovated the cabling from electricity pole to cabling by an underground tunnel. There would just not be enough capacity to route the network cables through the electricity pole and overall appearance-wise, they have decided to the cable through the underground tunnel. The population of Japan has been decreasing, however, the demand for network service kept increasing. The more the populated the area was, the thicker and complicated the underground cable were infrastructure. Technology would be even more evident in our personal life and every single thing that we would use would involve computer technology in the coming future.

Risk in Personal Information

Personal information today has a great value and over the years, there have been numerous incidents of identity theft. By being exposed to your personal information, another person can take over your life. There is a large risk involved in handling personal information.

There is less attention in handling personal information today that is a growing problem as technology enhances today. There is antivirus software and data encryption software, however, people are held liable for their own information.

Evidence 3:

There is a whole library of hacking tool out on the internet that can equally create massive damage to an individual or cooperation depending on how it is used.

Reason 3: Utilizing Technology

Evidence 1:

As technology would be ubiquitous, children should be able to apply technology in their daily life. Allowing children to learn problem-solving utilizing technology. Technology in a certain way can process faster and store information more efficiently than humans. By teaching children to use these tools would greatly enhance their success in the future.

“Results demonstrated the positive influence of the availability of computers in kindergarten classrooms on the long-term development of children’s computer skills and provided empirical evidence for the rationale for the inclusion of computers in kindergarten classrooms” (Saçkes, Trundle, & Bell, 2011, pg. 1703).

Evidence 2:

Many careers require technology and some jobs are even taken over by computers. Many careers such as factory workers and phone operators are known to be rapidly taken over by computer automation. Many careers market such as bus drivers and bank clerks would start shrinking in the coming future.

Evidence 3:

The possibility that can come out of learning computer technology are endless and it is important to teach our future generation to look ahead and look back.

References

Kerr, D., Gammack, J., & Bryant, K. (2011). Digital business security development :

Management technologies (IGI Global research collection). Hershey, PA: Business Science

Reference.

Marsa-Maestre, Ivan, De la Hoz, Enrique, Gimenez-Guzman, Jose Manuel, & Lopez-Carmona,

Miguel A. (2013). Design and evaluation of a learning environment to effectively provide

network security skills.(Report). Computers & Education, 69, 225.

Saçkes, Trundle, & Bell. (2011). Young children’s computer skills development from

kindergarten to third grade. Computers & Education, 57(2), 1698-1704.

parents. International Journal of Child-Computer Interaction, 3-4, 1-13

Zendler, & Hubwieser. (2013). The influence of (research-based) teacher training programs on evaluations of central computer science concepts. Teaching and Teacher Education, 34, 130-142.

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