Because I’m in Love with your takes on these: acotar characters from most to least devastated after a breakup (coping mechanism commentary appreciated but not required)
this is MOST to LEAST. MOST TO LEAST.
16. Tamlin- Functioning but just barely. Absolutely cuts bangs into his hair. New me, he sobs into the mirror. Drops all his friends to grieve, never really gets over it.
16. Elain- CATATONIC. Red album on BLAST for MONTHS. Is it coping if you just stop living your life entirely? Sleeps in old hoodie, devastated when the smell is gone.
15. Rhysand- Oh yeah. DRUNK FOR WEEKS. "I just knew she was the one," he hiccups to a stranger at the bar. Watching cheesy rom-coms in bed, alternating between whiskey and ice cream. Does not shower for a solid two weeks, forces Azriel and Cassian to have an intervention.
14. Gwyn- can't go five minutes without crying. Vanishes one day, resurfaces in Europe without a word. Girl you couldn't CALL? Just needed someone to worry about her a little. Is very apologetic in the aftermath.
13. Jurian- Tries to win them back, comes off like a major stalker. Has schedule memorized, will not let it go. Just wants to talk, obsessed with what went wrong.
12. Azriel- SILENT AND IN PAIN. Dude are you still thinking about her? NO but his phone background is still a picture of ex. Gets drunk, shows up at their house. Doesn't ring doorbell but sends a text. "Miss you". Doesn't cry, feels like no one will ever love them, this break up validated those feelings.
11. Tarquin- Trying to be friends in the aftermath. Falls into messy "fucking my ex but it means nothing" thinking it will change their mind. Has to go through heartbreak TWICE when they realize they won't get them back this way. Does have a hot girl summer glow-up though.
10. Emerie- Throws herself into work. Swears they don't care, spotify playlists are very suspicious. Invites you to bar but oh no its karaoke and double oh no, Emerie has queued up Kelly Clarkson's version of Happier Than Ever
9. Mor- D R U N K. Can party her way out of her feelings like its 2012. Too many one-night stands trying to forget they have feelings at all. Is not helping anything, does not stop.
8. Lucien- Fucking like he doesn't have feelings. Swears he'll never love again. Honestly, low key about the whole thing but VERY dramatic in his mind. Trying to project an aura of not caring, but very skittish about another relationship. Has to be psp psp psp'ed into the next one like a feral cat.
7. Vassa- Honestly, knows relationship was toxic but is still sad about it. Grieving through loud music and being, generally, a bitch. Apologetic when people back off. Just doesn't want to be alone. Hosts a lot of powerpoint nights to help her forget, develops a new hobby, and generally comes out of break-up a better person
6. Cassian- Sad for like, a week? Hitting the gym, working on his fitness. Gains are good, remembers he's hot...all is forgiven. Does have sex with one random against the brick of the bar on night to chase away his loneliness but generally not pining
5. Nesta- Also drinking and dancing but also cannot remember what that persons name was. Starting to think the breakup was just an excuse to party. Find out later she did the breaking up, just didn't bother to mention it.
4. Helion- One who got away means no one else can ever hurt him. That ex lingers and this new break up is easily shrugged off. Break up? Baby this was just a fling. Says it with a smile. No worries, no hard feelings. Already has someone new before break up even finished.
3. Feyre- New boyfriend in five minutes. Snaps her fingers, someone is already crawling at her feet. Can list everything he did wrong without tears in her eyes. Posts the most insane selfie, ex begs for her back. Feyre laughs with her friends later that night. Warned you she'd fuck your best friend, makes good on that threat. Ex emotionally scarred for years.
2. Eris- best way to get over someone is get under someone. Did you ever mean anything to him? Doesn't seem like it, he's already fucking that ex he told you not to worry about.
1. Amren- We were DATING? Genuinely had no idea.
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Danny was a stillborn, and Maddie made a deal with a Devil to give her baby a soul so he could live.
But the Devil couldn't really like, make a wholeass new soul for this. He could grab one of the ones he owned, but that'd just be putting an adult in an infants body, and that whole thought kind of weirded the Devil out.
So, he compromised.
He had a piece of the Laughing Magicians soul, and he just kinda.
Shoved that into the baby corpse.
And holy shit it worked, the kid took it.
Which, awesome! He gets the lady's soul and the kids when it's matured!
Except that was fifteen years ago, and now said Devil is desperately trying to get into contact with Constantine to cancel the deal they signed and agreed to.
Cuz that little baby?
Yeah he's the High King of the fucking Infinite Realms; a being that can not only cancel said contract, but do it and declare the Devil who made it guilty of Treason.
So he needs to find the Laughing Magician fucking yesterday, before the kid looks too closely at why his soul is so weird and figures it out.
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