#nobody rlly cares bc i barely talk on here but

[toothcowboy]

bye girls i’m not killing myself i’m just going crypto again ):

#case study #nobody rlly cares bc i barely talk on here but #idk if we’re mutual ask for my new @ (:

[kniveschaudefender]

hi !! can you do a gideon graves x male!reader who owns a flowershop? (if you dont do male readers thats ok lol, gn!reader is good too)

Better than Any Boquet

(a Gideon Graves x male flowershop owner! reader)

EEE MY FIRST REQUEST !! (TYSM ANON IM LITERALLY SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS) ALSO I DO ALL GENDER READERS !! SO MALE READER ISNT A PROBLEM AT ALL !!! ^_^ (ALSO I WILL SAY THAT THIS SUUUUUPER LONG. I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT ANY SHORTER BUT PLS DONT BLAME ME IM BARELY STARTING 🙁 ) BUT I RLLY DO HOPE U ENJOY BC THIS HONESTLY TOOK ME SO LONG TO PUT TOTHER. BUT THANK U AGAIN !!! <3333 (also this isnt proofread so)

Gideon had been acting..strange lately. The league noticed, his employees noticed, even he noticed ! But, nobody could seem to pinpoint what exactly it was.

He had been going out more, being a little bit less harsh on certain people, and the biggest thing people noticed was the amount of flowers around now. Of course nobody dared to ask, heavens no ! But still, it was strange. It’s not like he was a big fan of the flowers himself, but for some reason he had so many around.

Eventually, it had started as a routine. Day after day he would do the exact same thing ! Saying he needs to go do something ‘important’ out, taking his leave, and ending up in the local flowershop. But why ? Its not like he was there for the flowers, no. He had a better reasons.

He walks in, his mind somewhere else before hearing something that completely snapped him out of it. A simple, “Good morning, Mr, Graves!”

< Thats > what he was here for.

The nice owner, thats what he was here for! How could we forget? How could he forget such a nice boy, the same boy who helps him every day no matter how many questions he asks or how many times he ends up repeating them. He even remembered his name! Not by the fact that he’s THE Gideon Graves, but by the fact that he comes in every day to his shop !

Will he ever admit its for him? Maybe later. But right now? Certainly not ! He can’t lose such a ‘friendship’ with this lovely boy he’s met ! For now, he simply comes in, looking for him at the desk in the front. Asking things such as “How do I take care of these?” or “What type of flowers would go best with this event ?” . Simple things to hide the fact that he’s only there to see him and to hear him talk.

After about an hour of mindless questions and small talk, he comes home, once again with a boquet of flowers in hand. He couldn’t help it ! He HAD to buy flowers every time he’d go in there, or he’d leave feeling a bit bad. So, there he goes, grabbing another empty vase and putting some water in it, then placing the flowers inside.

He sighed, looking around at all the flowers he now had. How long could he keep this up ? How long could he push his feelings for this boy away and just keep going and buying flowers, never making a move?

It honestly didn’t take long, he was running out of room for flowers and was so head over heels he couldn’t help himself anymore.

Though, for the first time he couldn’t help but feel a bit afraid. Would you like him? I mean yeah, he does have quite the name and ego, not to mention the billions he has in cash, but would you really find him attractive? He guessed he’d just have to find out.”

He spent about a week thinking about this.

Infact, he spent the whole time trying to distract himself, he had forgotten to go to the flowershop. After the week, he had finally decided to go say something. Thats when he remembered. He spent the whole week away from YOUR presence after being there non-stop for a few months!

Now he was really worried. He probably made you sick thinking something must have happened since he stopped coming for a whole week!

So, off he went! Sprinting down the street to the flowershop, holding on to his glasses for life. His plan? Say everything through a letter. He couldnt get himself to say it to your face, no matter how big of an ego he had.

He comes in, pushing the door open, almost falling over as he catches his breath before looking up. And there you were, making direct eye contact with him as you out new fresh flowers in a certain section.

“Mr. Graves! There you are! I was wondering where you’d been.” You say, giving him that same, sweet smile.

“Please..call me Gideon.” He says, closing the door behind him as he comes in entirely. “I have something..a bit more important for you this time.” “Anything! What do you need, Gideon?” He liked how you had listened without a question.

“I need a boquet of roses, the best ones you’ve got, and I need you to put this letter in there. But, I’d like you to read it first.” He says, handing the note to him. “I need these by 5 p.m today, and I’d like for you to write me a reply on the letter of what you think.”

With that he mutters a “Thank you” and runs out quickly, not even giving you a chance to respond.

You stand there, a bit dumbfounded. But, there was no need to go chase him down and question him. It seemed simple enough. So, you grab the roses, picking the best ones as he’d asked. Then, the letter.

You grab the letter, opening it slowly, then is when you get met with something..suprising.

“Sorry about the leave, I couldn’t be here for this. All these visits were never about the flowers, it was about you. I wanted to get closer, but never knew how. I’ve liked you for all these months, and never knew how to truely say it. You were always too kind, and quite the handsome man too, giving me that smile every day I walked in, no matter how clueless I was about anything. Especially the flowers. But you always listened to me. But, I do love you and everything you do a lot. And I would love to have you by my side. Because to me, you’re better than any boquet.”

#gideon graves x reader #gideon graves #scott pilgrim x reader #scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgram takes off #x reader stories #fluff #??? idk #i love gideon #thank u sm anon #writer #new writers on tumblr #vancesrambles

[starglow-xx]

getting shy about being naked in front of him for the first time

nakajima atsushi x reader

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff

warnings: suggestive content (but nothing explicit)

type of work: head canons, gender neutral reader!

synopsis: at the very least, you’re used to seeing your boyfriend without his shirt on, but when you’ve decided to bare yourself to him, you get embarrassed about it. luckily, your darling of a boyfriend does nothing, but reassure you.

author’s note: i was playing around and found this OTP prompt generator and i just kept on clicking and i came across this prompt and AKFBWF my first thought was atsushi so here we go

here’s the prompt in question: person b getting shy about being naked in front of person a for the first time.

ABFHSABF i think it’s so cute i couldn’t resist; curse my impulsiveness (im also writing this to shake off my pre game nerves help me)

okay so you guys probably thought that id write person b to be atsushi right?

wrong!

im writing it the other way around >:)

he’s such a sweet boy, he really is, but sometimes i feel like we baby him too much

just my opinion though!

don’t forget, he is a teenage boy!

and he’s gone through a lot; he may be a little bit naive, but he does know and understand some of the harsh realities of the world

anyways, as much as id like to talk abt him that’s not exactly what you’re here for so let’s go!

okay let’s get this straight

you were both nervous

but as we all know, atsushi tends to get injured on a mission or two

yes, he can heal his stab wounds and bullet grazes but there are also times where he needs to ice a bruise or smth like that

you work at the ada as a clerk doing paperwork and handling phone calls ans stuff but you also take over in the infirmary tending to the smaller wounds (and leaving the major ones to yosano)

it’s often that atsushi has to take off his shirt bc 1) his shirt is in tatters and 2) the bruises (or smth) are all under there

the first time, the two of you were rlly embarrassed

and he was nervous/anxious bc of his burn mark under there

but damn he fell harder for you bc you accepted every part of him

over time, the two of you got comfortable with it and it kinda became a routine

but you taking your clothes off??

nope hasn’t happened

not until now that is 😏😏

let’s just say that things got ahaha steamy

and it got to that point where you just looked at each other and made the decision

next thing you know, his shirt his off, he’s on top of you, and suddenly his hands are under your shirt

you tensed and he froze

“hey...is this okay? we can stop...”

i already said this but the sweetest boy

you slowly nod and you both sit up and he helps you take off your shirt (and bra if you have boobs) and ANDSFN

blushy boy

if he’s blushy, you’re like ten thousand times worse

honestly, i feel like he’d just stare at you for a bit making your flustered state worse

you can’t tell if he’s doing it on purpose or not bc you know he thinks it’s cute when you’re flustered

being completely honest, atsushi didn’t mean to stare, but he kinda just let it happen

you’re looking away from him with a bright red face and biting you lip and god he thinks you’re beautiful

most definitely whispers sweet nothings to reassure you while placing kisses on your body

he says things that are like but not limited to:

“mhm you’re so pretty...”

“i’ll take care of you i promise...i’ll make you feel good..”

“you’re so beautiful, you have nothing to be embarrassed about..”

i am over heating rn 😀😀

anywho

at some point, the two of you are left in your underwear and remember blushy faces from earlier??

it’s much worse now

atsushi still thinks you’re cute though

surprisingly to him, you’re the one who makes the first move to remove the final garment and god you’re overheating and atsushi is staring again

he truly is trying his best to not to make you feel self conscious, but he really can’t help it

still underneath him, you cover your face with both your hands mumbling smth along the lines that he’s making you feel embarrassed

he can’t help but laugh at you, but then a soft look makes way onto his face

honestly, that makes you feel even more embarrassed

he slowly removes your hands from your face, but you look away from him

you tilts your head so that you’re looking at each other eye to eye and he slowly leans in and gives you a gentle kiss

you kissed him back and after a few moments, he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours

the two of you stare into each other’s eyes for a bit, just soaking in the moment

his hands started to roam your body slowly in an attempt not to scare you

your hands rest on his neck and you lean up slightly to whisper to him

“atsushi?”

“yeah?”

“i trust you”

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this! im kinda unsure abt it haha. i might edit this later

but as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

#bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd manga #bsd x reader #nakajima atsushi x reader #atsushi x reader #nakajima atsushi #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #armed detective agency #ada #fluff #head canons #anime #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs imagine #bsd imagine #bungou stray dogs scenario #bsd scenario #star writes! #fanfiction #star's headcanons

[babysizedfics]

JAMAL AND ROS TEETHERS

maybe lil messy grammar bc copy psted from messages to bea and liv !

bc of the fact jam was so nice abt the paci he found in ros room (even tho it wasnt even romans) then i think roman would decide to tell jamal abt his teethers. and like its at a point where hes already told jamal about his age dreaming, and is more comfy mentioning his littlespace and has even been kind of little around jamal a few times

and hes like ready to let himself be fully little bc jamal has constantly assured him its okay and roman has gotten good at requesting that reassurance whenever he feels insecure abt it

so one day he turns up to stay at jamals apartment for the weekend - and he put his teether in his overnight bag

so he starts being little after dinner or smth on the first night and its all okay, he is kind of just testing the waters a little but jamal is just rlly natural and nice abt it and barely changes his behaviour with roman, hes just more child-friendly and talks a little more like a teacher

and while jamal goes to the bathroom or does the dishes or smth roman RLLY quickly heart racing fingers shaking runs to his bag and gets his teether out and dashes back to sit on the living room floor and hides the teether against his chest with his hand

then when jamal comes back, ro is quiet and blushy and jamal thinks its bc hes being mischievous and he sees roman is hiding something so hes like "roman~ what are you hiding?" with his voice he uses when ro is little

then roman wiggles his knees a lil and bravely asks "can i use it?"

but jamal gets a lil worried not knowing what it is and frowns and crouches by roman on the floor and says "that depends what it is, baby. can i please see it?"

and roman blushes rlly RLLY hot and drops his hand a little to show its a teether and jamal just looks and gives a little smile and nods "of course you can! i like that its a teddy bear"

roman giggles a lil in relief "me too..."

and jamal strokes his hair "i was scared it was something dangerous!"

roman gasps rlly innocent and childish and playful "like.. like a rocket!!!"

jamal nods VERY seriously but hes smiling "yeah i thought u had a rocket in your hand!! if i wasnt careful you couldve been blasted off to space!!"

and they joke and play (jam being a comedian is SO good for playful little roman) and roman doesnt use the teether til later because hes so conscious that the attention is on it now

but he slips it in his mouth with a blush when theyre watching a movie and cuddling later on. theres no sign jam even notices except that he holds roman a lil tighter

then the next morning theyre in bed and jamal mentions that roman was really cute yesterday and he doesnt mention WHY but roman kinda knows and gets embarassed

then very unsubtly jamal says "you know if you want me to i can keep a teether here for you?"

and roman is like >///< "yes maybe please thank you....."

@a-little-bit-flustered : him keeping a teether at his for roman and roman trying to be all sneaky and slipping it in when he thinks nobody is looking like 👀 but the jamal being all like “you’re so cute!!” and making him all flustered but also really grateful to have such an understanding boyfriend....

AWWWW the idea of roman being at jamals and he wakes up early in the morning and sneaks out of bed to get his teether and hes tiptoeing and trying to close the fridge super slowly and gently and he wiggles back in bed thinking jam is still asleep and sighs in relief and closes his eyes and starts chewing the teether

then he hears "morning, cutie" and opens his eyes and jamal is smiling at him rlly soft and roman blushes bright pink and shoves the pillow over jamals face to stop him from looking HHSDHDHD

WAHHH and jamal saw roman do a lil silly tiptoe walk and opened his eyes after ro climbed in bed just in time to see roman close his eyes and put the teether in his mouth and smile a lil and his face go rlly calm for a few seconds before jamal spoke up wahh

@a-little-bit-flustered ; 🥺🥺🥺 WAHHHHH THEY ARE SO SWEET!! omg roman turning all grumpy and pouty but STILL nibbling on the teether like and jamal having to stifle his giggles because he can’t laugh at his boyfriend but also he’s literally the cutest lil angel ever even when he’s in a mood ahsjdjfghh

WAAHH like he isnt a caregiver and barely a babysitter but hes just so supprotive and nice and if roman did need a cg jamal would do it bc he cares so much, but roman doesnt need it from him so this is all they need u know

like jamal isnt taking care of him (at least not too obviously) hes just having fun

...

one day a few weeks after that, jamal is cuddlin roman while he chews his teether....

roman is hiding it by sitting in between jams legs leaning back against his chest but romans legs are kicking around happily while they watch a disney movie and his singing is a bit muffled and lisped by the teether and jamal just thought he looked so calm and happy and CUTE on that morning jamal caught him sneaking with his teether..... he rlly wants to see again bc its CUTE

so jamal just gently and slowly leans over romans shoulder a lil and roman doesnt react he is so caught up in the movie

then jamal moves his face down to press their cheeks together and still ro doesnt look away from the screen, so jamal turns his head to kiss romans cheek, and that makes roman hum

and then jamal pulls back a lil just to see roman smiling around his teether..... and roman doesnt notice him looking at him..

and jam is just smiling so softly seeing roman chewing the teether with his eyes bright and wide and happy lookin at the movie

then eventually roman readjusts his head a little without thinkin and is lenaing away from jam, but jamal automaticaly puts his fingers on romans chin and angles his head back bc he WANNA SEE

and then roman realsies jamal has been watching him with his teether and he blushes and whines "JAMMM" and goes >:c and pulls his teether away and hides it in his sleeve

and jamal goes "im sorrryyyyy youre jsut so cuuuuute" like whining but still smiling bc he RLLY WANTS TO SEE hes actually disappointed hahshs

but roman goes ò///ó and crosses his arms and keeps watchin the film and he is grumpy for the rest of it HAHSHSHS

and as they watch the film roman is pouting and crossed arms and teether gone and every few minutes jamal rubs his head on romans and kisses his cheek and :

"babyyy im sorry.............. dont you wanna use your-"

"NO >:c "

"aw :("

#little/big concepts #little/big jamal #agere roman #agedre roman #little roman #ts agere #sanders sides agere

[jungxk]

// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

[enderspawn]

🎼 (I can’t find the correct emoji lol) exile arc tommy?

Oh boy! (opens up breakdown playlist) /hj

Montreal – Penelope Scott

Sleep with a Baseball Bat – Cosmic Johnny

Brother – Gerard Way

breakdown under cut, tw for suicidal ideation on the first song esp

1.       Montreal – heehee hoohoo suicidal/depression thoughts baby!!

I mean in short this is tommy saying he wont Survive exile. The intro of the song lists when the singer would be home from college/school and that “another 90 day summers gonna take [their] fucking life” which is rlly just. Tommy not gonna live THAT long in exile.

“And I would rather die And let me make it clear It's nobody's fault But I think we all know That I won't make it to Montreal”

So the thing here is that its “nobody’s fault” bc on one hand it is that he doesn’t blame tubbo but worse he doesn’t blame DREAM. Its just meant to happen, its not bc of anybody, yknow?

“And I would rather die I'll jump before I'll fall And I'm having lots of fun But I won't make it Montreal”

Mans tried to jump to his death before he “fell” whether bc of dream or an accident, hes makin the active CHOICE to end it rather than just waiting. Even w the fun he’s having w dream, he’s miserable and he knows he wont make it to see lmanberg again

“You like to talk about the future As if it's real And when you tell me that you love me I can almost feel it”

Dream keeps promising him stuff for the future. Maybe he can visit to see the tree, maybe he can get another visit, maybe he wont be alone. But tommy doesn’t care, its all fake to him (which like, it is so good for him but fjkdlsjf)

“It's not that it's a bad plan No, the plan fucking slapped I was so excited you don't know how bad I wanted all of it The coffee shop, the weather, the apartment But I don't want anything anymore I don't know, I guess I just got bored”

Okay so. Tommy kept trying to get shit together to leave, right? He wanted to go back so bad and have this domestic life w his friends but in the end he just got so downtrodden that after his shit got blown up he was so ready to just GIVE UP.

“And I don't wanna die I don't wanna get left behind But it's better half than none I hope to god you have some fun”

He doesn’t want to be in this situation, he still CARES abt the lmanberg crew but in the end hes been told that they’re happy WIHTOUT him. He’s not angry at them, not anymore, he just wants them to be happy bc he isn’t.

2.       Sleep with a Baseball Bat – tommy and dream relationship baby!!

“And every time you wake up Thinking this could be the day Well something, something just”

Every day in exile he had no real plans. He just had to exist out there alone and hope someone else came. This IS the day he can do…. Something. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a goal.

“And when your love is an anxiety attack Don’t settle for that, don’t settle for that And when you wake and find the claw marks in your back Sleep with a baseball bat, sleep with a baseball bat”

Hes been manipulated into thinkin dream is his friend, that dream “loves” him but it makes him miserable! Hes paranoid and stressed and falling apart!! Boy!!! Fjdsklfj

“Siena says you’re getting used But something’s broken in your head And you can’t run away when you need to”

The other ppl who visited him, like ranboo, KNEW something was happening and that he was in a bad place but tommy had been manipulated by dream so much that he couldn’t process it. No, dream couldn’t be bad, dream was his friend, right? He couldn’t leave exile, dream would be upset. Its all what DREAM wants, not tommy.

“Hey, space cadet Are you still floating round the rock That you spent so much of your life trying to get away from? And does it at least look different from up there?”

OKAY SO ONE. SPACE CADET? THAT’S CLARA BABY!! TWO: he spent ALL his time on this server fucking fighting dream, trying to “get away from” him. But now hes stuck “floating around” with him as his “friend”. The last line feels sarcastic and bitter but like. FUCK it hits, yknow??

“It might take a couple tries till you believe it But love is real, you’ll figure it out, you’ll live to see it But you still have to take a couple of falls And you can’t make an omelet without breaking your balls So batter up Is your bed made? Is your helmet on?”

HAPPY ENDING POG!! HE STARTS HEALING!!!! HE STARTS REALIZING DREAM WASN’T HIS FRIEND!!! He still “falls” and relapses into wanting dream w him but hes so much better!!! Also,,,,, “is your helmet on” w the turtle shell helmet (eyes emoji)

3.       Brother – IF TECHNO AND TOMMY NOT BROTHERS WHY THIS SON—(gunshot rings out)

Okay so on a serious note this song is abt addiction and while I don’t want to take away from that Serious Topic, it Does relate but w tommy dealing w his ptsd of dream

“And brother, if you have the chance to pick me up And can I sleep on your couch To the pound of the ache and pain? Oh, in my head 'Cause I'm awake all night long To the drums of the city rain”

Hhrhnrng staying at technos place to hide from dream and get better a lil JFKDLSJK. Also “the drums of the city rain” is referenced a LOT in this song but like. It keeps him up so,,,,,, dream JFKDLSJF. Mans barely ever slept in exile so it WORKS okay jfkdlsjf

“The lights we chase The nights we steal The things that we take to make us feel this (To the drums of the city rain)”

This is him and techno livin together!! Like in the first chorus you could see lights we chase being tommy finding techno’s place, then later it’s the lights of lmanberg as they sneak in. the nights they steal is both just time spent together and also straight up the times they stole shit JFKDSLJ. “the things that we take to make us feel” is the gapples tommy always eats so that he can feel safe (also, bc in the og song this is PROBABLY abt drugs and potions are drugs in universe so. Arguably getting a potion effect from the apple means it is Also Drugs? Fjdkslfj)

“I can't go back I don't think I will I won't sleep tonight as long as I still Hear the drums of the city rain”

Go back to logstedshire or lmanberg you ask?? The answer is yes. Both. He feels like he doesn’t belong in lmanberg and logstedshire is too traumatizing for him to return at this point. As long as he “hears the drums of the city rain”, or is thinking of dream, he Cant Sleep:tm:

“Does anyone have the guts to shut me up? 'Cause I believe that every night There's a chance we can walk away So hold on tight Because I won't wait too long In the drums of the beating rain”

Okay so hear me out but. This is just tommy and dream. “I believe that every night theres a chance we can walk away” is tommy hoping desperately for dream to let him go home, to walk away from logstedshire. He never will be permitted, not really, but theres a chance that tommy clings to. He wont “wait too long” while out in exile and stuck w dream bc hes desperate and miserable (also fun fact these analysis is basically me just pmv’ing shit in my head and rambling vaguely abt it but like. Listen,,,, flashback verse jfkdsljf) ALSO. The line “does anyone have the guts to shut me up” in relation to exile!tommy is just VERY important to me. Mans was so quiet and afraid to speak up when in exile.

“'Cause the nights don't last And we leave alone Will you drive me back? Can you take me home? (To the drums of the city rain)”

Following up that last paragraph, this is still in flashback. The days end and dream leaves again, making tommy alone. He asks if he can go back, if he can see home and lmanberg and everyone. But echoing the “to the drums of the city rain” after home CAN imply that “home” has become logstedshire WITH DREAM even tho it keeps him up and aaAAAAAHHHH

I swear this ends up okay and techno + tommy focused fjkdsljf

“Faces I don't know I am tired in the glow”

He feels isolated from everyone during his exile and lashes out at those who visit, to the point he feels like they’re all more or less strangers and “faces he doesn’t know”. Being tired in the glow is, imo, him over the lava.

“Of the freezing club Keep me breathing Don't make the lights come back Can you take me home? We all need this When we leave alone”

Hhhngg okay so tommy breakdown time! Hes in techno’s house (the freezing club) and is just pleading for techno to help. Don’t let “the lights come back” (lava again maybe? He doesn’t want to be Like This?) and just wants to feel like hes at home because hes just left exile and hes Messed Up Over It

“Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down To the place we can hear them play I miss that sound 'Cause now we don't sing so loud To the drums of the city rain”

OKAY SO THEY MAY NOT BE CANON FAMILY BUT WILBUR REMEMBERS SPARRING W TECHNO AS A KID AND PHIL IS HIS CLOSE FRIEND SO THEY STILL KNEW EACH OTHER AS KIDS SO SHUSH FJSDKL. Tommy just wants things to go back to how they were, before everything. When things were easy and they were kids just having fun. He misses it. Before exile, before lmanberg, before dream. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re stuck in this now. With his brother dead and his closest friend being the man who killed his best friend and helped blow up his country. Again, the drums of the city rain is dream. Because of his influence, its all different.

Hhhngngngn this is too long so I wont go into the last outro bc you can interpret it a LOT of ways, esp depending on how you want to Pace this song w the exile arc. But like. The analysis is THERE if you really wanna push it/animatic it babeyyy

#dream smp #mcyt #tommyinnit #exile arc #HHHHNG IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE JFKLDSJ #I PROMISED MYSELF ID FINISH THIS ASK GAME UP AND WOULDNT GO IN DEPTH AS MUCH THEN DID EXACTLY THAT W THREE SONGS JFKDSL #tommy #answered #song ask game #listen the last song is a LIL bit of a stretch but its my playlist i get to put in the not depressing song fjdkls #Anonymous

[mothbug]

maggie i’ve been trying to suss out the plot of ur bug lesbians for so long please tell me abt them. somehow it got into my head that they were?? like jaeger pilots? please confirm or deny

i can’t do a read more on mobile so i’m sorry in advance (coming back here after i’ve written this: it makes no sense. it’s all rambling. sorry. and i just put things everywhere randomly so this won’t even be typed chronologically)

yeah there’s giant fun robots! most of them are normal and fine but like a few of them are very fucked up

so there’s four pov characters and at the start of the story three of them are on the same ship and the fourth is the target they’re chasing? only one of them knows they even HAVE a target and is trying her best to stall because she and the target were roommates in fucked up robot catholic school. the other two are playing crazy 8s and being romantic and also terrified all the time but also doing a lot of theorizing about things because they know SOMETHING is up they just don’t know what’s going on. Bc you know. their commander won’t give them any information. and also avoids them because she hates narrative parallelism

also the one stalling is also having her blood drunk by her giant robot. and maybe being mildly possessed by it? so it’s maybe The most fucked up robot. it’s also a giant dog and a good boy. and an heirloom of a fucked up family. which may explain some stuff but honestly i think nisa’s mom was just a bitch and it didn’t have anything to do with the robot she’s just like that.

and she’s stalling bc she Knows she won’t turn perovskia in she knows she wouldn’t let her get hurt she Knows it’ll change her life forever if she finds her and she’s just not ready to face that. but yknow she has to so it was all just very silly of her but when something will change your life dramatically it’s terrifying even if you know that things currently Suck.

somewhere in here Arkansas’s family is threatened and it’s. upsetting. and i’m not sure what direction to go in with it but it will be important because her family means a Lot to her. she has two very good kind dads and a little sister named Tinsel. basically she has the only functional biological family out of all the characters and they make me :’) I also think they eventually meet Idabel and ADORE her and since she grew up without parents it’s just a very strange and emotional experience and. h. they r Wives. and the Trust family is all very sweet and kind even if Arkansas struggles a lot w gifted kid syndrome like i think her dads did their best even if they fucked up sometimes yknow. idabel goes fucking wild at the arcade like legitimately bloodthirsty and arkansas is just like i love my furious and powerful wife

anyway there’s some (a lot of) homoerotic space fighting (which perovskia usually wins BECAUSE she remembers when she and nisa used to spar and can predict what she’ll do. nisa ALSO remembers this bc. ofc she does. but perovskia had to learn how to adapt after Events bc her physical health changed a lot and she had to learn to be more careful about overexerting herself and also now knows how to swordfight. and moves more fluidly and confidently. so what nisa expects to happen often doesn’t bc perovskia’s fighting style has changed so much while nisa hasn’t really bothered to refine hers. anyway) perovskia (the gay little target that does a gay little crime and makes fun of you to piss you off) is like hey. what if you all committed treason it’s really fun and sexy. and then her adoptive mechanic mom gives everyone spinal surgery so their bodies don’t shut down and they won’t die :) that’s a thing by the way i won’t elaborate bc uhh :( but it is why perovskia has all the. nerve damage and chronic pain. i can elaborate on the actual Pre-story perovskia stuff later bc i think about it A Lot and it has a lot of bearing on her character but it’s also. before all this. but anyway if she hadn’t been bleeding out on Slice’s front lawn specifically she Would be dead. and there’s some fun narrative foil character shifts that happen four years before the main storyline but i will not say bc i’m tired

after this is Vague in my mind but a lot of it is Perovskia and Nisa reconnecting and just. talking. but being weird and repressed and deflective about anything Meaningful. And I have written a Lot about this so there’s more than I can condense but it’s very fucking good and. Idk. it’s a big shift in the narrative at this point and they’re just Agonizing about their dumb little feelings and it’s good. and P doing some work to make their giant fucking spaceship more stealthy. and Idabel and Arkansas being really cute and also going THROUGH it because i mean. a lot is happening. And it’s nothing either of them ever expected to happen but they’re like. hopeful for the future or whatever don’t look at me. It’s just like. put all of these characters on a spaceship in the middle of nowhere in transit and they all Have to have conversations even if they don’t want to because it’s HARD. nisa is forced by slice to learn how to make pancakes

Slice makes stew. They’re good at stew and contraptions and having a mild new england accent somehow. also canonically back in the scrapyard they would make things like the knife wielding tentacle constantly and perovskia would just stumble upon them. slice changed the live laugh love sign to say die cry hate because perovskia made fun of it. they r her mom.

so now they do some fun fun robberies and various crimes and it’s so sexy and i don’t think N and P are like. fully caught up at this point or know where they stand, so there’s a lot of very fun banter and having to work together despite really being afraid but also yearning to get to know each other again and just connect with one another honestly and openly after four fuckin years apart. because they’re both so different now but also very much the same. horse staring out into sea MAN. the thing is there’s no direct like. reason for them to avoid each other (at first P was shocked and overwhelmed and felt a little bit betrayed when she found out who was chasing her until she found out WHY. oh i forgot to mention Nisa BEGGED to be assigned commander for this mission bc she knew anyone else wouldn’t hesitate to get Perovskia killed. Forgot to mention that it’s IMPORTANT she fucking loves her so much god DAMMIT) but it’s just. tense and there’s a lot happening and it’s just. Ghhhdhbnm and ofc I and A have picked up on it since P showed up but it’s like. ok so what is Happening here. OH AND ONCE THEY START WORKING THINGS OUT IDABEL DOES START BEHAVING LIKE NISA’S SHITTY LITTLE SIBLING AND ACTING FUCKING DISGUSTED BY THEM ITS VERY FUNNY. they’re like perovskia you’re pretty cool what’s up with this. nisa sucks and also is a bitch. and perovskia says SHE CAN GET IT. and idabel says GET WHAT? BANNED FROM OLIVE GARDEN? and perovskia fans herself and is like yeah~ and idabel was just joking around but now is debating between mercilessly making fun of her and hitting her with a cricket bat. but god when P and N just get to hold each other in silence and security and just be. it’s . they. god. fuck. man.

oh i know this is a space story but perovskia just straight up has a sword (and some knives and maybe a gun idk) don’t ask me why idk but it’s very lesbian of her and she does gay little flourishes and is just. very annoying and i like her a lot. she’s very dramatic like her alias was madame revenant when she was living in the scrapyard and just doing some petty crimes like. she embroidered that jacket herself nobody calls her that she’s just a goofball. also warrior cats exist and she makes warrior cat fan animations. that just has to be true so warriors has been preserved for centuries. also she was presumed dead for a while uhh don’t think abt it too much but she likes that aesthetic.

Idabel takes the best to this new life of crime they are fucking FOR it she gets a FLAMETHROWER and Arkansas is like. wrow honestly my favorite thing abt them is that they’re both fucking INCREDIBLE pilots. like they know what they’re doing. and nisa is really really bad at it btw she cannot pilot a mech well. but this block of text isn’t about her i’m talking about THEM. Their chemistry is so good they r just. 🥺. and they both become Fast friends with perovskia because she’s just pretty likeable?? and ofc nisa’s jealous bc a) you guys don’t even like me :( but also b) that’s MY friend. it’s very funny. honey of course they didn’t like you you were being very unpleasant to be around. but arkansas does rlly wanna be friends with her and she and idabel have so much sibling energy it’s insane. i think they’d abel and cain each other for a scooby snack but also kill for each other. because they’re tiny girls who will growl at you solidarity and also probably hang out and just destroy things with bats sometimes. they all become closer and get a rlly sweet found family dynamic it just takes a While. oh also idabel is basically the chosen one and can set things on fire with her hands but it’s barely touched on because i think that’s a really funny thing to just ignore. but i also think it does become important because it’s largely fueled by anger and emotion and. h. i think idabel has a lot of feelings ok. Arkansas and Perovskia bond over having fucking anxiety disorders and have caprisun drinking competitions. i think it’s just like. these people all have similar trauma and need people to lean on when things are hard so they stick with each other once they have the option to split apart because by then they’re friends and work well together and Care. auto tuned baby crying mp3.

Alia and Agent Variety show up somewhere around here? They’re Slice’s very cool wives and Alia has a Vechicle Collection and own fucking stupid race cars and stuff and I love her. perovskia is afraid of being in vechiles so she has to take a fucking benadryl every time they have to make a getaway. Variety isn’t actually an Agent anymore and I also love HER because she’s very fucking good. they started out as just contacts slice had but it turns out they’re all in love <3 alia is also actually a sports car racer like. unprofessionally. illegally. which is just very cool of them.

Also i don’t think it has. a very BIG end, yknow? it’s like, they’re doing very good things and are up against a lot, and I don’t think they like.. singlehandedly take down the government or anything because they’re only a few people. but i think they get a happy ending and get to grow old while making positive changes to the world around them. like i don’t think they’ll be able to solve everything but they’re sure as hell gonna do what they can. But idk maybe they actually do get like. some good shit done. but again they’re not. an army. they’re a bunch of 20-somethings and their rube-goldberg-machine-creating chaperone. but i think they should get a fun climactic moment so i guess this is all to say i don’t. have an ending planned. but there should probably be one at some point.

OH AND the giant evil blood sucking dog vineyard vines robot Definitely almost kills Nisa (or at least fully destroys her in some way) and. it’s very narrowly avoided and she’s very very weak for a while because it took a lot out of her. also the dog robot does make grape vines grow and uhhhh any grapes that show up are 100% full of the pilot’s siphoned blood. also i think there’s still some remnants of that bitch in nisa’s mind afterwards bc an old mechanical god is hard to get rid of. but it’s mostly ok.

Also the bug people are just. a thing. like every person in the most recent generation in this specific society are at least a little bit genetically experimented on because. it sucks there. and i think if your parents bribe the government you can be a little Less fucked up but yknow. everyone’s a little weird. this was an excuse to put bug ppl in here they’re just the folks who were probably the most fucked with and i have many bug people here because i think bugs are cool and i want them to look like weird little bugs. This was all also an excuse to give the main characters fangs bc i’m gay. i don’t think randomly fucking with your genetics will make you a bug in real life so do not try this at home or at all PSA

SPEAKING of the society ok it’s very much obsessed with earth nostalgia and stuff and very yknow. basic cyperpunk shitty capitalism you know the drill you’ve seen space operas whatever but it’s also weirdly oligarchical? and like? it’s weird and bad and kind of a corporatocracy?? and. fuck. idk man they’re a fucked up space catgirl greeble-y amazon with catholic imagery. The Academy is also a thing but. idk how to describe it more than i already have it’s just kinda shitty boarding school. And after a certain point ppl can get sent on like. missions and stuff? in their fucking robots? but again i’m not sure what For. an option could be that there’s nearby Shit and nobody can tell if it’s safe because space is weird? also it’s only about 3200 so i’d say like. whole societies out in space is a relatively new thing and there’s some weird shit going on. so they sometimes send teenagers out in robots to see what’s up and that ends SUPER well for EVERYONE. hmm something SHOULD be going on actually there should be some weird eldritch space stuff. it should be connected to the more fucked up robots. it should also be Core’s fault somehow because uhhh capitalism and lack of foresight? anyway here’s women kissing i don’t know things. WAIT FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HOW SHADY SOME OF THE STUFF GOING ON IS LIKE THE DEATHS OF THE CREW PEROVSKIA WAS ON UHHH JUST TRUST ME DUDE like they are NOT afraid to get kids killed which was IMPLIED but also like it goes a little deeper than that and uhh i don’t know exactly what’s happening. but i’m sure it’ll all fall into place eventually. basically it’s very fatt shitty faction vibes idk how else to describe it. man it‘s like. just. there’s stuff happening they have goals and ideals and there’s probably more to it than i know so far bc stuff happens but i don’t KNOW what i’m tired and have been typing this for a year i don’t want to talk abt the bad capitalists i want to talk about tenderness and girls but unfortunately the ways in which the girls are tender are deeply informed by the environment they grew up in so i do have to think about it even if they all deserved better.

i think they all get a cat or a dog or something eventually. like they all deserve it. i think the final home they build together is actually pretty reminiscent of the scrapyard house. i think they get to live there for the rest of their lives and. just build something small and wonderful for themselves :’)

also i forgot to put men in the story they exist i just forgot about them. there’s nisa’s one ex i already forgot his name but he’s mentioned i think.

#IM SO SORRY FOR HOW INCOMPREHENSIBLE THIS IS I DONT HAVEA PLOT I HAVE CONCEPTS #ocs #long post #LONG FUCKING POST I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH #death ment #body horror cw #maybe #catholicism ment #again just to be safe #injury ment #possession tw

[d-c-it]

I rather forget - 5

Intro, One, Patton, Logan, Roman 1, Roman 2

Summary: Roman angst, Virgil is a good friend, What do you mean you had your way with a snake, Roman!?

Ships: platonic prinxiety, platonic LAMPT, romantic roceit (you guys were so close for me to cut that part off) and platonic anxceit.

Warnings: sympathetic Deceit, sympathetic Remus (eh?), cursing, lots of running, cliffhanger (sorta?), dialogue heavy (like rlly heavy)

A/n: I almost cut this bc I felt it was too much in one chapter. But if i did, there would be no memory on this one and… that's supposed to be this fics thing, yk? We are getting so close to Deceits appearance. I'm not ready for that angst yet. 

Also, you thought i forgot about this, didn't you? *Deceit's laugh* you're absolutely right. I got a rb this morning and it made me check the document and... I have it all almost figured out so I thought… why tf not….? I think I'll post it on ao3 too...it's already big enough.

oh, the memory part seems confusing, while they're inside it, the memories dialogue is in italics.

.

“Roman! Roman slow down!” yelled Virgil almost running to catch up with the prince. “Are you out of your mind!? Have you forgot you can't go fooling around here on your own!?” 

“I'm sorry I just… I…” Roman shook his head looking confused and Virgil couldn't but take pity on him. 

“Nobody blames you for loving your brother Roman.” he said, hand on the prince’s shoulder.

“You don't understand.” 

“I think I do, more than you think.”

“He was like that for a while, almost... normal. But then, he just changed and I couldn't accept it so i just… ch-chose to forget it.”

“There's no shame in that, I've done that sort of thing before.”

They kept walking, not realizing the distance they were putting between them and the others. 

“They're walking too fast!” Patton said, and then tried to catch up. “Kiddos!” He yelled, but they didn’t seem to hear him. 

A thunderous sound made everyone halt. There was silence for a few moments before the weirdest stampede they've ever witnessed appeared in front of them . 

Gray frames filled the hallways rushing towards them, more specifically, Thomas. 

“Oh shit” cursed Remy, grabbing Thomas' hand, instantly running in the other direction. 

The others weren't slow in following them. Roman and Virgil a bunch of meters behind. The frames floated in the air and together formed some sort of buzzing swarm. The sound they made together was terrifying.

Patton looked back one more time to make sure the other two sides were still behind them but stopped dead on track as he saw how close they were to be eaten by the big mass (if that was what the frames did?). He saw Roman tackle Virgil to the side, both of them being immediately swallowed by a memory on the wall, seemingly safe. 

“Patton!” he heard Logan yell, but it was too late to start running again. 

“Shit shit shit shit” Remy runned past him and just as the frames were on them, he made a weird gesture with his arms and hands. A wall appeared in front of all of them and they all flinched when they heard what must have being the frames crashing in the other side. 

“Fuck”

“What was that!?” asked Thomas, in panic, and Logan made an attempt to answer.

“We alread-” 

“I know but what were they trying to do to me!?”

��… We need to get you out of here, they'll find a way to you again.” none of them knew what to think of Remy's serious tone. “I'll turn this into a maze instead of a hallway. It'll make it more difficult to find you, but it's just a matter of time before…”

“But what about Roman and Virgil!?” interrupted Patton.

“I'll send them back later!” Remy hastily interjected.

“We can't leave without them!” baffled, Remy watched the other two nod.

“Seriously? You too, Logic?” 

“It would certainly be a bad idea for Thomas to go back without his creativity and anxiety. We already saw what happened when Virgil is not around I don't want to think how would it affect him if we added Roman's absence to it.”

“Ugh babes, this is why Deceit doesn't like you.” said Remy, but started walking as a hallway opened for him out of nowhere. “We should hurry. I don't want to see what those memories could do…”

“You don't know!?”

“Well it hasn't happened before!” 

.

It was an easy guess to say this was another of Deceit's memories. The sepia tone to it a dead giveaway  (much to Virgil's displeasure). However, what made him look around in wonder was the fact that they were in Roman's theater. It wasn't until he stumbled into Roman that he realized there was music. Someone was singing, but it wasn't Roman. 

“And if it turns out it's over too fast, I'll make every last moment last, as long as you're mine…” he heard an intake of breath, he himself remind himself to close his mouth. 

It was Deceit and Roman, both in the middle of the stage. The deceitful side was sitting on the floor while Roman was on one knee. What shook Virgil the most was the way they were looking at each other. 

“I never thought you were that good of an actor…” said the anxious side, half joking. But Roman didn't seem to be listening. 

“... But you've got me seeing through different eyes” sang the Roman from the memory and Virgil was hit with a realization. “Somehow I've fallen under your spell…” sang the past Roman, with a smirk. 

“... whAT!?” he exclaimed, making Roman flinch. “You and Deceit!?” 

“I-I can… I can explain!” said the fanciful side, putting his hands in front of him trying to appease Virgil. 

“You better! You-when? Why!?” 

“Say there's no future for us as a pair…”

“It's- it was a while back! It meant nothing! It…” the more the prince talked, Virgil noticed, the more his voice trembled. 

“I though I may know I don't care.”

“Roman…” whispered Virgil, as tears ran through the prince's face. They both looked back to see the other two finish the song, smiling. Virgil barely remembered Deceit smiling like that and not his usual shit eating grin. 

“What is it?” asked the yellow side. 

“Hey! That's supposed to be my line!” complained the prince, still holding the other in his arms. Deceit only rolled his eyes. 

“What is it?” asked the snake again, receiving a huff from Roman, but the other quickly composed himself. 

“It's just- for the first time, I feel wicked.” 

They both kept smiling to each other. For a moment, for a horrifying moment, Virgil thought he was going to see them kiss. But as Roman leaned down the memory ended. 

They both awkwardly stood in the empty hallway. Roman was looking at the frame in surprise. And if Virgil had been looking for it, he might had found a trace of hope in his eyes. 

As it was, he just looked around. There was a wall in the direction they had been running. And there was no more crazy gray frames lurking around. He saw from the corner of his eye how Roman sat down, seemingly getting to the same conclusion as him. Wait until the others found them. 

Virgil was a mess of emotions, he wanted so much to say something but at the same time he didn't know what. He waited while Roman looked around, he watched as his eyes settled in another yellow frame, but making no attempt at touching it. 

They sat there for a while, the silence was slowly eating Virgil alive. He took a breath to talk when Roman beat him to it. 

“He used to come to the theater while I was practicing.”

“O-oh, he did?”

“Yeah, he would stay in the stands, clap and throw roses…” said the prince, a smile in his face. “Sometimes would come up and say some lines.”

“When was this?” anxiety asked, hugging his knees. he didn't know how to feel. On one side, he hated Deceit, on the other...He just couldn't forget the look on either of their faces. It was as if… as if...

“Way before he revealed himself to Thomas? I think?”  

“I see” he said, and really, what else could he say?

“We used to talk a bit, after.”

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm” Roman glanced at Virgil to see his reaction. “About you.” at Virgil's squint he gave a shrug. “He would ask how you were doing, I always asked him why he didn't go ask you himself. He only said it was complicated.” Virgil gulped. 

“Did he ever tell you?”  

“I don't think he ever told me the whole thing. He would say it had something to do with trust? Something about the others being shits…” Virgil nodded.

“Mmm, him too.” Roman snorted at that. 

“Yeah he said that too.”

“Won't he get mad you're telling me this?” ventured Virgil, after a minute of silence, making Roman frown.

“Uh… maybe. I don't know if it matters though.” at that, it was Virgil's turn to frown.

“What do you mean?”

Roman points at the yellow frame he was looking at before. It showed hectic movements and Virgil wasn't sure what was happening in there, but it did look like Roman was there. 

“…It's what that frame shows I think, at least it looks like it…” Roman shivered, hugging himself. Virgil thought that he looked smaller. “After the court thing… we got into a fight, I said some things…” he stopped himself. 

“Uh…”Virgil didn't know what to say, until Roman frowned. “What?” 

“The worst part is… He said it would happen. When I first asked him to come up stage and sing a duet with me.” Roman shivered again and hugged himself harder. Virgil sat closer to him, earning a sad but grateful smile from the prince. “He said I was going to regret trying to be his friend.”

“…Do you?” 

“At that moment? I think I believed I did…” he sighed. “Now…?”

“I guess I understand that a little.” said the anxious side, earning a surprised look from Roman. “I mean, I still can't stand that little shit but… n-not everything back then was bad, you know?”the prince nodded. “He used to got my back and I got his when the others were being… um, not nice. It got to a point were I couldn't… I-” Roman put a hand on his shoulder. “I just couldn't stand it anymore. I needed reassurement. I needed to know where he stood. So I pressured him… And he said no… and I…” Roman nodded again. 

“About his name.”

“It was stupid”

“No it wasn't, I asked him too, once.”

“Did he…?”

“Pfft no, of course he didn't….” the prince's voice was low. “He said it wasn't about trust.” Virgil flinched, but Roman put a hand on his. “He tried to explain but I didn't really get it.”

Virgil looked down and started playing with Roman's fingers. 

“At the end he was frustrated of course. Said something about Logan being the only brain cell in our group.” imitating Deceit which made Virgil snort.  “And said that if he ever told someone he would tell Thomas first… and then you.” 

Virgil's eyes widened. 

“He… said that?” 

“Yup.” Virgil smirked 

“And then you?” teased, but received a grumble as response.

“You would think that, that's the obvious course of action!” 

“But…?”

“He said he would tell Remus first! Remus!” 

“Pffft” They laughed together for a few minutes, holding hands. Virgil noticed that the others hand was scarily cold. He glanced back at the yellow frame.

“It's just… I-” a soft growl came from the back of Virgil's throat, as he tried to find the words. “I tried, you know? To get rid if the good memories I had with them… I threw off some… but, there are ones I just… I'm not able to let go.” 

“Hey” he felt Roman strengthen his hold in his hand. “He was your friend for a long time, during bad times even! Its ok to miss it… to miss him.” 

Virgil sighed thoughtful, but then instantly smirked giving Roman a look. 

“So, about you having your way with Deceit…?” he said, making Roman blush, sputtering 

“I'm not talking with you about THAT.”

.

tags:

@the-strawman

@overlyenthusiasticauthor

@askthesnake

@no-no-no-no-6

@korsaromantic66

@that-one-nb-kid

@scared-ghosthunter

@avocados26

@itsabsurd-and-terrifying

@1theshinkuu-boss7

@immoral-bitch (i couldnt tag you properly im so sorry :c)

#I rather forget au #how did i use to tag this? #sanders sides #patton sanders #logan sanders #remy sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #character thomas #platonic DLAMPT #platonic prinxiety #romantic roceit #roceit #bring it on #long post #My writing

[dehvilsgf-blog]

omg im late again r we surprised ??? absolutely not but yeehaw it’s baby again here’s my tiny angry lil gf who deserves better !!!! plot w/ me or i’ll bully u until u do !!! pls read all the trigger warnings bc this one is rlly wild & violent & sad 

( song yuqi, cisfemale, she/her, 20. ) — FAYE HUANG, better known to the media as SIREN has been working for the yōkai for around TWO YEARS. rumor has it, she can be ENDEARING & DEVOTED but also CUTTHROAT & BRATTY which is why she makes the perfect CROWD CONTROL. ( baby, she/her, 19, mst. )

trigger warnings: death, implied murder, implied sexual assault (with an age difference), drugs, cheating, violence, blood, daddy & mommy issues 

BACKSTORY. 

faye was born into a nuclear family esque situation. a dad, a mom, a brother, a dog & herself. her dad was ceo of an entertainment company & was the product of a rags to riches coming to america story. her mom was yr typical xanax addicted trophy wife who was never sober to avoid smelling other women’s perfume on her husband. 

her brother and her dog were the only “normal” people in her life. she loved her older brother more than anything else in the world. he was the only person who saw faye as a human being instead of daddy’s little trophy daughter. 

she was expected to be the best at absolutely everything. her grades were perfect, she can play several instruments and speak multiple languages fluently. she’s excellent at small talk and sitting still and looking pretty instead of being heard. she was captain of her cheer team and president of the student body in high school. she was srsly pitch perfect in every way imaginable. 

her dad cheating on his wife and being verbally abusive and emotionally dismissive of his daughter was hollywood’s worst kept secret. everyone knew what went on behind closed doors but nobody said anything. 

tw sexual assault most of her dad’s clients took an inappropriate interest in her and her older brother was quick to catch onto this after an unfortunate experience at a party where a barely sober faye was being taken advantage of. 

after bating the living shit out of that guy, faye’s brother taught her basic self defense. and it was a great outlet for her. she had so many years of acting perfect and pretty and hiding behind a mask that it felt good to be assertive and have control over Some aspects of her life 

her brother was her best friend and the only person she loved and trusted wholeheartedly which is why his death took such a hard toll on her 

one night her father had been absolutely shitfaced and was ripping faye a new one. he couldn’t stop yelling about how a daughter was his greatest disgrace and how her everything would never be enough to appease him

so she took off in the middle of the night and her brother was right on her tail because he was terrified if something bad happened to her esp after what happened last time he left her alone. 

they had run into a trio of men who were sleazy and armed and one punch led to another led to a gun being shot in the middle of the chaos. which led to anguished cries for help, shaky hands dialing 911, an ambulance arriving seconds too late, blood stained clothes, and little faye all alone again. 

instead of grieving like normal parents, her father turned it into a media frenzy. politicians turned it into a campaign. money was made by dragging a dead boy and parading him around like a fucked up jackpot of sorts.  

faye went on a vigilante quest of sorts and “handled” the trio that took away her only source of happiness. it’s what earned her a reputation via the crime related world. so pretty, so violent. 

omg thats all i have i had to write a paper like 2 minutes ago 

PERSONALITY. 

loyal 2 the point where she will die for the ppl she cares abt

she has this like ,,,, fucked up complex where she feels like she has 2 listen 2 older men bc of her dad ,,, its not hard to make her submissive and manipulate her bc shes kind of been conditioned 4 it 

so good at faking interest and acting pretty 

smart but plays dumb a lot fhakjhfkj she’s every fucked up female habit ever 

HEADCANNONS. 

has an obsession w/ slushies 

jst bought a pet bunny & hasnt named it yet but she spoils it sm 

has money 2 burn omg she spends it like crazy her bunny has like ,,,, a gucci custom made bed 

dresses up 4 everything omg wont leave her room unless shes wearing smthn cute 

has beat almost everyone at yokai @ arm wrestling 

fights smart, not strong 

cute but creepy but pretty but so Mordbi we unstan 

cries when she breaks acrylics or rips clothes while fighting and will kill u if u pick on her for it 

did i mention shes small omg 

everyones sugar mommy she has So Much money she’ll buy u wtever u want 

a Brat 

#heists:intro #if u r uncomfy w/ any of the triggers i can give u a like #sparksnote holy edition of the story

[ugisfeelings]

my transfer app is ready to start so

things i like abt boston:

some of the most sincere, candid, conscientious and truly most compassionate ppl who fiercely care abt the world n uncynically fight for alternative possibilities of living together are there. the conversations ive had as a freshman have been so insightful n genuine i desperately miss it sometimes... even just texting them makes me feel invigorated n want to stay 

i like the person i am when im in boston......i don’t have to make myself sound callous n mean to maintain dignity. i don’t have to turn my core principles into palatable jokes. im not weighed down by hs ppl’s scrutiny of me no classmate is going to call me a dirty communist chink behind my back nobody is going to call me crazy none of my friends are going to feel awkward having to defend their token left extremist friend no one is going to say ‘lol we’re not smart enough to understand what ur talking abt on class or imperialism’ i dont constantly feel like im on the defensive or having to put on a facade of harmony

fantastic courses w/ great professors... and profs i can have write rec letters for grad school... part of my college’s selling name (n debt lol) are its connections ig

opportunities??? if im back in nova next summer ill be very disappointed in myself there’s rlly a lot i could reach out to

being away from family.... and maybe bringing my brother over here sometime like over his spring break or smthing i want him to get a taste of life away from our parents

if i end up w/ a man there’s a 60% greater chance it’ll feel less like marriage than a partnership... 

“People can be and are there for you, if you allow us in, [redacted]. Try to fight the slide into a kind of inner isolation that is masked by 'performing normality' to the external world. Having an intentional and caring community is really important and, more than anything else you can do for yourself, you must try to not end up isolated and adrift from grounding as an Asian American.”

this morning i got an offer to co-write an article for the college newspaper... i just can be so much if i let go of my doubts n let myself reach for it

things i like abt va:

no debt. no loans. no throwing my family’s money into the void n hoping it’ll bounce back w/ a 0.03% chance of an academic job. no feeling financially bound to under my parents. no more barely-joking plans abt marrying a financially stable man or back-up plans of going into accounting bc that’s how terrified i am of being in perpetual debt for a half ass dream. no more obsessive staring at my statements n checking/calculating the interest rates as im calling my parents. i can free myself of the jealousy i feel towards others i can feel less guilty for not wanting to get married or have kids

$$$$$$$$$$

home friends are closer. 

more funding for my department. i can do the research ive been hoping to do since end of freshman year... and ill likely have more support to go into grad school n do vigorous research w/ top of their field academics

nobody asking abt my pronouns at every single place thank god what the hell do thosem even accomplish it’s all so performative

i can also do so so much without killing myself at an institution that doesn’t n never will care for me n that its expenses will haunt me for the rest of my life. i dont have to be at a fancy liberal arts college to accomplish great things n be human w/ my peers

#coolcoolcool

[softeds]

jack dylan grazer tea

okay, do i have your attention?

i have been telling myself to stay silent about this and not put my opinion in anything but tags and reposts but...

here is something my friend said to me that really really changed the way i view the whole situation.

basically she explained that yes, he was a dick to talia, but now remember that is sadly and wrongly normalized in middle school boys. that in NO way excuses it, but, just because he is a celebrity does not mean he should be defined by that mistake.

this made me remember some personal middle school experiences that stand out to me and i can still remember clearly. i remember a boy mistaking me for mexican and when he found out i couldn’t speak it he called me “a fucking slut” in spanish- i know what spanish swears mean okay haha. anyway i also remember being on a team with two boys for a sport i was rlly good at, one of the boys hated me bc he thought i talked too much so they refused to let me play the entire time resulting in my grade dropping to a D- and me getting in trouble. (also barely talked for the rest of the year but i was already a very self conscious kid) i can’t even count that and all the similar things that have happened to friends etc. that’s just a bad age for boys and girls!! if i called those boys now, years later, verbal abusers NOBODY would care. if they were celebrities, suddenly the world would turn on them.

also, we talked about how everything else that’s happened to make people hate him are actually his own words being twisted and changed. jack called a girl a bitch but also she made a video hating on his girlfriend. that makes him a dick and also a good boyfriend you know ?? he was 13 and just trying to be the second one. people GROW from being cringy rude middle school boys i promise. ESPECIALLY celebrities because they have to.

about the fack drama, him and finn BOTH made fack jokes, just because it doesn’t make jack uncomfortable and it makes finn uncomfortable does NOT make jack “gross” or “inconsiderate”. maybe he didn’t know it made finn uncomfortable at the time. but he did say it’s annoying. listen though, if you are not uncomfortable with being shipped with someone that doesn’t make you a bad person.

overall this is the first time i’ve ever rlly put my opinion out on something on tumblr & it feels really good hahaha 💗 if you don’t like jack/call him a verbal abuser, i can’t change your mind and i won’t like you anymore or less !! 💗💖💝💞💕

#jack dylan grazer #finn wolfhard #fack #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #it movie 2017 #jack grazer #jack x reader #jack dylan blazer #wyatt oleff #jaeden lieberher #jaeden wesley #sophialillis #chosen jacobs #jeremy ray taylor

[ua-monoma]

[[ hi here’s a text convo me and dani were having during the iimono text convo woohoo feelings ]]

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:16 AM

iida's definition of alright is "im not completely hurting to the point where it is hard to do or think abt anything else"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:17 AM

THATS A BAD DEFINITION IIDA

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:17 AM

if he can do his duties without being hindered he's "alright"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:18 AM

like tbh monoma's big feels rn are like 

 1) i wanna communicate but it feels like iida doesnt actually communicate with me ever 

2) i wanna be honest but it feels like iida isnt being honest with me 

3) i've been opening up a lot which im! proud of!! i can face my emotions now! but iida isnt facing HIS emotions with me and i thought uHh being a couple means we do that together so i guess i'll go fuck myselfsdfskhdgbg

but ALSO from an outside perspective iida Does Communicate and Is Honest... way more than monoma perceives it but monoma sucks. at being able to identify it

A L S O he cant stand iida taking care of him so much sfhgbsfbhsg hes starting to feel rly coddled and he Does Not Like It

and thats largely just cuz hes so unstable and feels guilty about it now that hes more aware of it and wants to either just shut down and stop emoting around iida or, like, he wants to get to take care of iida if/when he ever breaks down cuz then it'll be Equals

kdfgdfhbdfgs i just had a hunch and it was right, monoma is actually older than iida sdfbjhgs

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:22 AM

WAIT HE IS

HES OLDER,

rickyLast Sunday at 4:27 AM

but yeah i think the other thing is that monoma wants stuff from iida but like has not been able to rly voice it (i feel like this is the first time he has ever talked like This Much about emotional bullshit) but also TBH he feels brushed aside every time iida gives him one of his lil speeches

cuz he doesnt respond very well to positivity and also will just latch onto the negative aspects

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:30 AM

WOW then u have iida whos just like "dude im not a fuckign mind reader tell me what u want"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:30 AM

WHICH I KNOW BUT HE'S WORKING ON IT.....

iida: communicate pls monoma: ok heres a big rambling post about stuff i feel iida: ok thats nice. can you communicate with me pls tho monoma: I JUST DID HSDFKGGBDFSG I'LL JUST GO FUCK MYSELF THEN I GUESS--

^ is how he feels

also hes scared of the Boyfriend Conversation

which i think i've told you before, hes scared cuz of the sex addiction thing but also,

ppl keep coercing him to sex and he doesnt wanna date iida and then be coerced into Officially Cheating,,, pseudo cheating isnt acceptable either but at least like,,, hes Technically not betraying him,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:36 AM

THE RAMBLING THING isnt clear to iida bc its like yes that is how he feels but he is not telling me What He Wants From Me

rickyLast Sunday at 4:37 AM

YEAH thats what i noticed today +_+!!!

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

its like monoma is offering his stance but not a solution or a compromise

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

monoma doesnt rly know that's what he's supposed to do hjbsjfsg

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

does iida have to spell it out

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

y es

like, the last thing iida said kind of made monoma be like

wait lemme look at it again

ok he said he wanted to know the reasons behind his actions and monoma was like,,,,wha--

cuz... 1) theres like never actually a reason and 2) he didnt know iida wanted that from him

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:40 AM

H

rickyLast Sunday at 4:40 AM

like monoma barely even recognizes half his actions cuz theyre all based on impulses and tbh if nobody pointed them out he'll just move on like nothing's happened

like he compartmentalizes,,, s o much,,,,,, and then represses it like instantly like TBH

like barely anyone talks about monoma's growing alcoholism so he just keeps doing that, and no one has had the chance to tell him to stop communicating with villains so he kept doing that too but like. Because it wasnt pointed out he barely has a problem with it and can function fine

everyone harps on him for the sex stuff tho so he's just like Drowning In Guilt

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:44 AM

is there literally-- any way iida can actually help him because, i just , wow

rickyLast Sunday at 4:44 AM

sfjgkdfg 

iida: here's a list of questions to communicate with, pls answer monoma: dissociates instantly 

whOH YEAH DEFINITELYi know that sounds all depressing sjhsdfghthe fix is honestly super easy tbh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:45 AM

HE ASKED TWO WHOLE QUESTIO-jvhcfdjsjcxsdjhds

god im glad there is indeed a fix

rickyLast Sunday at 4:45 AM

I WAS TYPING UP MORE META I HAVENT GOTTEN TO IT YET

monoma's problem is literally just that he doesnt have the vocabulary for, like, anything

what he wants is an open relationship but he doesnt know what that is and TO BE QUITE FRANK his only knowledge of one is fucking sen and kosei

so like, he's only hesitating so much cuz he doesnt know how to voice what he wants cuz Tbh monoma hates not sounding smart and being emotive means bumbling around like an idiot

he still feels brushed off tho,

iida bls be sad around him more

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:02 AM

IIDA DOESNT LIKE BEING SAD

its weird for him

he always like

how do i put this

he takes his sadness, pisses on it, and sets it on fire

rickyLast Sunday at 5:02 AM

oh God i just realized iida is doing the same thing the guy i was gay for did FUCKMeJFBJHFBGDG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

oh he pissed on his  sadness too? worm

rickyLast Sunday at 5:03 AM

he did the 'im alright is actually crashing and burning in super slow motion for months at a time' thing

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

iida is hollow more often than he is sad

1JDCKCDSNHSDSNDSCJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:05 AM

meanwhile i had the loudly has breakdowns and then gets upset about being taken care of despite him insisting because of his Fetish for taking care of people thing

me: glares at iidas Fetish

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:06 AM

ok this is more of a hc but

iida likes taking care of ppl bc his parents rarely took care of him uwus

o hes like

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

CRIES

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:07 AM

being the Dad and Mom he never had

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

see that Sucks cuz my hc is that monoma was raised to be as self sufficient as possible as Fast as possible which meant wow we aint got time for emotions fam just Put Them In A Box

oh is the box overflowing, put the BOX in a BIGGER BOX

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

emotionally stunted boys sure are great

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

i k r

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

only in theory tho,

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

LOL

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

irl i wouldve just

choked them

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

sobs angrily about iida

share your emotions biiiiiiitchhhh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

hits the back of monoma's head

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

hEY

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

just tell him what u want u stupid fuckJCDFJDSSD

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

HE WANTS YOU TO SHARE HIS EMOTIONS HSFBGJHFGS HE SAID THAT!!!!AND IIDA WAS LIKE, NAH

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

IIDA ISNT RLLY THAT SURE OF HIS EMOTIONS EITHER THATS WHY!!!

HE THINKS HES THIS BUT HES ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE

rickyLast Sunday at 5:10 AM

THATS MONOMAS PROBLEM TOO YOU BUTT DFHBSDFGJGSG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

FUCK

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

OHMY

GODSTRANGLES THEM BOTH

IIMONO: FEELINGS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

w iida its more like. he knows deep down but he doesnt , think , its important enough , to be addressed

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

i i d a b l s

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

"as class rep i must be a leader before anything else!!!!!"

rickyLast Sunday at 5:12 AM

monoma is honestly like 'iida help this is the very first time in my life i have felt Guilt what am i supposed to do with this!!!!!!

iida: whats wrong monoma: IM SAD????  WHY DIDNT ANYONE EVER TELL ME WHAT A CONSEQUENCE WAS iida: ,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:14 AM

JXVCDJXCDSAHJSDSDJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:15 AM

and t b h he kind of is like, automatically expecting like... a Reward for getting this far but iida just kind of keeps being like 'okay cool. and what else'

and monoma is like HJSFBKHBFGS THAT TOOK ME 3 WEEKS TO FIGURE OUT B L S

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:28 AM

fuckcdncnddxjsn

rickyLast Sunday at 5:28 AM

,,,, in person or continue the text

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:29 AM

CCCCONTINUE...they rarely text god pls

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

TBH YEAH...

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:30 AM

iida has no Time for his phone he needs to read 30 chapters ahead so he doesnt fall behind!!!

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

monoma is Traumatized by all their other text convos so he doesnt--

im including the times when i post this btw because God Damn i love that its likefucking 5am over here

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:31 AM

GO TO BED?

rickyLast Sunday at 5:31 AM

this is 500% a 'im sad texting my bitchass pseudo bae about my feelings at fucking sunrise after they kept me up crying all night' conversation

whats a bed

#such a good talk lordt i love dani's iida so much fgmsdfghfgfdsg #claws at her... more headcanons.. bitch #monoma.hc #iimono.meta

[catastrothicc]

when will i learn to write an intro post

hello friens my name is kit im 19 and i use them/they pronouns. i love the color GREEN as u can tell and im a cancer ..... i literally don’t kno who i am besides that so ! ey letz gO  .... oh yea my timezone is mdt .  bu ckle . ... .. . u p

fiRST we have rocky whomst some of  u kNO bc he was That guy in paracosms anD created by the m ost crea tive  admins iv’e ever seEN i got blessedt 2 play him and to play him agAIN in literally the most mentally straining au for any character .... paracosms verse ! x 

i previously made an intro post for him here so i’m just gonna link it and walk away .. .. .... also his stats page still lives here !!! keeping in mind that he is no longer a drug ring leader ..... he recently discovered that his wHOLE LIFE is a LIE and that he’s a helpless robot stuck in hell with a bunch of other robots who want 2 murder him and every(robot)body he loves 

find his pinterest board here , someday a whole ass playlist too

neXT we have minjae ... he’s my oldest character in this batch but that doesn’t mean i especially love him .... just means i’ve made him suffer the longest .... . . . tw: child abuse ( pinterest board , playlist 1 , playlist 2 )

minjae is in the main verse ! find him bullshitting through college and b-boying in the camden streets 

he’s twenty-one and a virgo , born in busan , south korea 

he found his way to london when his parents sent him away to study abroad highkey because that’s a big fancy thing in korea they can brag about and lowkey to get rid of him for as long as they can 

his relationship with his family is ..... interestingly strained . his parents WON’T admit that he’s tiring as hell to deal with and how much stress he causes because they try their best to be supporting/loving parents but honestly minjae KNOWS how much they just wISH he was fucking gONE from their lives ( okay maybe not THAT intense but things rlly blow up in his head ) but he doesn’t even worry about it he just deals with the fact that he’s a terrible son

he was diagnosed with odd when he was eight years old, after his mom got tired and increasingly concerned with his disruptive and violent behavior

a few years prior , minjae’s biological dad left them and his mom kind of took it upon herself to try and make it up to him . that meant she was always careful around him and treated him as if he was fragile because minjae felt some blame that his dad left . 

his biological dad did Not have any patience for his kid’s mental health , meaning he and minjae would fight often to the point of getting physical . basically minjae endured a lot of getting locked up in the bathroom kicking and screaming until his voice grew hoarse and the occasional ..... bad beatings .

he went to therapy with his mom for two years before entering middle school , around the time his mom remarried a nice guy who had the patience of a saint when it came to minjae , even after he repeatedly rejected him as a part of their life . eventually minjae managed to warm up to him ..... he just didn’t wanna admit he was afraid he’d abandon them like his bio dad . 

despite the therapy he was still unstable and got into frequent fights . he was smart but he didn’t put it into any good use because he would rather fool around and disrupt the classroom at any slight chance . teachers .... hated this fuckass 

theN high school !! A Whole Mess ..... he got worse and worse , and it wasn’t until he got expelled from his Second high school that he went back to therapy for anger management . 

after months of sessions w/ his therapist he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder , which honestly explained Everything about his life . it explained his massive issues with interpersonal relationships , massive abandonment fear , massive moodiness , massive personality contradictions .... everythin g

he started b-boying because it was a way to push himself and let go of the anger without picking a fight with someone else ( altho he StilL picked the occasional fight .... highkey still does ) but he loved the control that came with dancing and how it hurt to push his body 

he managed to graduate despite what everyone thought ..... and even a bigger surprise is that he went to college majoring in math ..... and an evEN BIGGER SURPRISE is that he went overseas to study which is like ..... quite a difficult and impressive thing to do ..... tho minjae just finds math the easiest out of academic studies bc “all u need to do is understand and follow a formula” 

anYWAYS so his personality is generally very contradictory . he just has no fucking idea who he even is . thESE are from an old intro that i’m just putting here bc still tru:

being delusional w/ infatuation/love to the point of a fault vs running away when things actually start to go right with someone because of his fear of being abandoned by them

being so afraid of abandonment that he can’t stand being alone, always needs to be communicating with someone vs pushing people away when he feels like he’s getting attached because he’s afraid of abandonment 

swinging between being horny all the time and being sex repulsed

intense mood swings !!! having the time of his life one hour and wishing he was dead the next

thinks he’s the best vs loathes his entire being

wants everyone to love him vs thinking he deserves being alone

incredibly charming and talkative vs distant and moody

loving/cuddly/goofy vs jealous/purposely mean/bossy 

also never tell him its ok to text u bc he’ll give u notifications from Hell

dhwani mishra !!! honestly Bae . i’ve had her in my head for mONTHs and this is only the second time i play her rip . anyways say hello to this Hot Mom. tw: abuse , brief abortion mention 

dhwani is from chicago , she’s 36 and a leo .... literally The Whole SUN

she grew up w/ a generally large family . two parents , three sisters and a brother . it was a full house that often became suffocating but she managed to survive her childhood and teenhood . 

she’s extremely close with all her fam except her dad , bc they have always disagreed in almost everything and it’s just ..... awkward to be around him ?? she honestly doesn’t respect him much , even if she would never show him/tell him that . her dad had an abusive past w/ her mom , and dhwani still feels a lot of resentment that he would ever lay his hands on her in a violent way and mistreat her despite being the mother of his children . when she was a teenager , she would tell her mom to just divorce him but her mom was in a very toxic/old mentality and believed she would ruin her family and her children’s life if she did that . 

probably nobody cared about this as much as dhwani .... she promised herself she’d NEVER allow someone to do what her dad did to her mom and was honestly so defensive with guys . little did she kno it was the lesbian raging inside her . 

so because she had no idea what a lesbian was or that it was a possibility bc her household was not the type to really go into the topic of sex at all , she eventually got into a relationship with a guy in high school that she could actually put up with .... and got really disappointed when she was finally ‘ in love ’ because of how underwhelming it all was . her dreams about finding ‘ the one ’ were absolutely gone . she was like wtf why are people making such a big deal out of love when it feels like ...... kind of nothing ?? 

she became pregnant with his child which was completely unplanned and was such a huge turn in her life that she never ever expected . all this time she had been driven to start a career in chemistry and family would come way wayyy later , however she did Not want to give up her child ..... she was so torn about it but now she thinks not getting an abortion was the best decision of her life bc her little boy , one of her two little suns was brought into the world . 

she paused her career to raise him w/ her now husband when she was 29 , and three years later became pregnant again , this time w/ her second sun , an adorable lil baby girl . things were already going downhill in her marriage before she got pregnant again , though , and she stupidly thought that maybe another child would help them but ... wrong ! her husband , the man she thought she loved , was turning out to be exactly like her father . she put up w/ him for as long as she could .... but it did just not work out . when her daughter was two and her son five , she divorced him and someway or another managed to pick up her career again . 

she moved out with her kids into a small apartment , struggling with money and having to ask her parents for aid which wasn’t rlly good for her pride , despite that she and her mom were like best friends .

sHE made it to london by pure will after juggling her two children and working as a high school teacher , though when she got an offer to teach as a professor in a university w/ heR OWN LAB AND RESEARCH TEAM she could Not pass it up . the only problem was tht this job was across the ocean , and away from her family and everything she and her children knew . 

still , she saw a brighter future , not only for herself but especially for her kids , so she packed up and said goodbye to the states . 

she’s been teaching in soho for two years now and she still hasn’t really adjusted . it’s obviously a very different life than the one she had in chicago , but she’s very determined to make it work . also she’s recently discovering her repressed inner lesbian so hmu for plots !!! ;))) 

shE’S a chemistry professor so ... @ any student connections hmu ... also any students whomst want 2 be on her research team A++ 

pERSONALity wise .... she’s a mess . she’s very lively and warm and inviting , but she is also extremely stubborn and unrestrained . you don’t agree w/ something she does ? Suck It . you have a stupid opinion ? Time to let u kno how absolutely wrong u are . she is NOT afraid of a fight . also she’s v scatterbrained .... there is so much on her schedule that she can barely keep up w/ so she’s never like ... calm . always going somewhere , always pacing places , chugging her coffee , carrying 789479 folders and books everywhere . 

hER class is pretty much this vine 

probably one of the least chill professors on campus in the best way possible . she’s so excited about chemistry and teaching her students . altho she is lenient and understanding she can also b strict af and doesn’t allow her kindness to b taken advantage of . rlly good at drawing lines . 

also her children are her whole world and she loves to brag about them ... since she doesn’t get enough time w/ them at home she sometimes takes them to her lab on campus or they’re there being a mess during her office hours and stressing her out but she’s 2 fond of them to leave them w/ their babysitter . 

oK so here is her v incomplete pinterest board ... expect a playlist Soon 

lAST BUT NOT LEAST is santana !!! he is ... a solid trip . this is my first time playing him so i’m puMPED and expecting the worst of him fhuidshfiusdhg. tw: drug use , abuse , alcoholism 

he is 23 , a Cancer , n from LA california like that red hot chili peppers song(s)

his childhood wasn’t chill at all . he grew up with four sisters and three brothers , so his parents never really had time for all of them individually . they were always kind of lumped together despite the differences in age . santana was one of the middle children so he got evEN LESS attention . 

he honestly does not understand what his parents were thinking when they had EIGHT whole kids , because they were poor as shit . they lived in a tiny house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms , where all the girls would be in 1 room , the boys in the other , and their parents in th third one . you could Not catch a moment of peace in this household . they basically lived on top of each other .

his older siblings were very bad influences , and so were his parents . it was all tough love , so he barely received any kindness or special treatment and had 2 go to school even if he was dying w/ the flu and got hit Bad when he acted out even a little bit bc his parents were Not about to deal w/ any disrespect . he actually pretty much got hit for just existing bc his parents didn’t want dumb kids and santana was failing in Everything at school so his dad especially tried to beat it into him but really he wasn’t dumb he had dyslexia and no one knew or cared enough to find out .

still , they didn’t really respect their children enough to demand their respect . they would cuss all of them tf out and allow them little to no privacy so they all became rEALLY GOOD liars , and all of them learned to have each other’s backs but rlly this only lasted during their childhoods/teenhoods . 

santana started doing really stupid shit during high school and once he got caught stealing wine from a grocery store w/ all his dumb little high school friends whomst were in possession of weed and ended up in juvenile prison for two years until he turned 18 . thEN while he was on parole he didn’t learn his fucking lesson and his parents/family were not supportive At All honestly it’s like they didn’t give 2 shits that he was in juvie they were just like ‘that’s what happens when you’re a goddamn moron’ so santana went out and did it aGAIN bc fuck parental guidance anyways

this time he got caught stealing a whole fucking car and in possession of not only weed but cocaine so he got locked up for 4 long ass years . honestly thought that he wouldn’t make it out but he rlly learned a lot in prison and he was used to getting no privacy anyways and just kinda dealt . the prison system he was stuck in Sucked so bad though like the guards were the Worst and he’d try to stay out of fights but Some Fucker would piss him off and BOOM he’d end up in the hole for a whole week . 

hOWEVER if it wasn’t for being there he would’ve never discovered his passion of art and drawing . he got Really Fucking good bc he had nothing else to do but sit around and try to find anything to pour all of his pent up energy into and drawing happened to be his greatest outlet . would just sit for as long as they let him and draw his time away . 

when he got out he went back to his fam but they were pretty much all split up . shit went Down while he was locked up and somehow his parents ended up w/ a giant grudge on their children and some of his siblings wanted to kill each other while others had just completely moved away to different parts of the states and had absolutely no communication w/ each other . 

santana decided to fuck it and pursue his dreams of being a tattoo artist far from LA and just decided to move to a different country entirely . 

Now u can find him giving tattoos in his apartment bc he doesn’t have enough $$$ to get a studio and while he Is training under a professional he’s not getting paid by them so he needs to make money somehow . it’s a secret that he’s tattooing when he’s not supposed to tho . Fuck the law . 

personality !!!! he’s basically .... very chill .... perhaps 2 chill .... 

even tho drugs got him some bad time in prison he hasn’t left them . still very 420 friendly and occasionally does the hard stuff . also loves 2 drink and party . 

he’s irresponsible !!!! he feels like he lost a lot of his life in prison so he’s trying to make up for it and while he’s being more careful ..... he still loves 2 fuck shit up .

he gets way too comfortable around people way too easily . he thinks this is a trait he picked up in jail bc he rlly had no other option but to shower with a bunch of dudes and shit out in the open , so he’s very comfortable with his body and being in the nude in general . also a touchy guy , likes cuddles and appreciates hugs . random meaningless touches are a Habit . 

he loves to hang and do whatever so if ur his friend chances are tht he’s hitting u up 24/7 to go do something . biggest extrovert there is . does not get tired of being in public / around people . also p flirty and gay as hell . 

sO find his pinterest board here and i’m also in the process of finishing a playlist for him hopefully soon 

thAT WOULD BE ALL FOR NOW !!! hmu and feel free to add me on discord ( a whole silly boy#2690 , kít (catastrothicc) in the group chat ) for plots and such !!! 

#smoke:intros #smoke:ooc #⦁ — › OwO ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜɪs? — ⌜ ᴏᴏᴄ ⌟ #( #fiNALL Y ) #( im srry it took this long ) #( what was the build up it suCKS ANYWAYS ) #( also ........ im not ashamed of an anime mascot ) #( HFUISDHFIUSDHGIUH ) #( i LOVE an angry boy )

[youseriousjayse]

Oh shit. I wanna fuck my boss. This is...not good.

I stg I barely caught myself from just walking over and kissing them while they were saying something ridiculous after the shop was closed. Oh fuck oh fuck. THis is bad. They’re married and have kids and they seem like a good person but sometimes…I definitely think they’ve flirted w me before. And I seem to be a favourite for no apparent reason. They talk about their spouse and their personal life all the time to me (esp their spouse), but I’ve only ever heard them mention their spouse like twice to other workers. And they compare me to their spouse all the time. Always saying I sound just like them or I do this or that just like them. ANd I would definitely go for it if it was an option which prob makes me a horrible person, but that’s okay I already knew that. 

Idk how they manage to be both “ur really hot” and “ur the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” It’s maddening. And they’re so fucking funny and that’s my weakness and they’re always trying to make me laugh. idek how old they are. in their twenties im 96% certain. Im horrid at guessing age. there’s def at the v least 5 yrs b/t us. but idrk. I don’t even hypothetically want anything serious. I literally just wanna be able to fuck them and feel mushy about them on the side and end it when I leave next july. Obv this isn’t ever going to happen but thinking about it hypotheticlly helps me short my shit out. idk. idk. i really like thm and they seem to like me. And the thing is it’s not even just about wanting to fuck them. I care about their kids and that means a lot bc i fucking hate kids and one of theirs is an attention whore and i rlly hate that type of kid. but i like them bc they are my boss’s kids and my boss loves them. And I love hearing more about them (even tho it’s always p sad shit about them acting up in school and always being upset bc my boss is never home)

Just…..wow. if anyone needed more proof im fucked up. have at it.

Seriously tho on the seeming interested in me and showing favouritism front, they are…so protective of me. Like they are Never like this with the other employees, and it’s definitely not like I can’t defend myself. The most marked example would be the guy who runs the bodega across the street.

He came in one day, screaming about how my manager had accused his son of stealing. So they were like, I’m not sure what you’re talking about but I’m sorry if there was some sort of miscommunication. And he just kept screaming at them and calling them a little bitch and a f*ggot repeatedly, and threatening to bash their fucking head in. And they were just taking it all very calmly and professionally and saying ‘I don’t recall this happening, I’m sorry if you heard differently’ even though he was physically pushing them and still threatening them and calling them all sorts of things. Then he finally left, but not twenty minutes later he came back, just as angry, shouting the same stuff and hurling around slurs and threats and pushing my manager around. Again, they kept very calm and responded reasonably and evenly the same stuff they had before.

Again he eventually left. But then he decided he had apparently still not had enough so he came back a third time. Just as angry as before, just as hostile and antagonising. The assistant manager on duty had come up front the last time to see what was happening, but had not intervened. However this time she tried to help, also calmly saying the same things as the manager. She had been working the day before and seen the guy’s kid come in and nothing like that had happened, so he started calling her a lying fucking bitch and saying he was gonna kill both of them, and kept more and more violently shoving my manager, which they continued to just calmly take.

Eventually the guy was just was repeatedly calling them a f*ggot again and again and again. And I, also calmly, asked if he could just please stop saying that word and he fucking rounded on me and started really laying in calling me a little bitch and all sorts of things, which I didn’t react to at all, because I have an excellent poker face. But I have Never seen my manager angry at all. Not even a little bit. But they were fucking furious, and they shoved him roughly back to the door (mind you he’s a big fuckin guy) And got right up in his face and fucking snarled Get The FUCK Out Of My Store (I did Not know actual snarling words was a thing, I thought it was just smth writers said to make the angry words more emphatic, but it is a Thing™) and shoved him straight through the door. And then they just took a deep breath and turned back around calmly as ever and was like ‘sorry about that’ to the other customers and started rearranging the counter like usual.

And that whole situation has come up twice since then when we were talking (it was months ago), and both times they were like yeah it was whatever, but when he started yelling at You I fucking snapped. And I’m like. Yeahhh how do I take this. Because I am not defenseless and I don’t look like it and I’m not tiny or fragile looking, we have several other employees more likely to feel the impulse to protect but,,,they never do? It never even seems to occur to them?

Just the other day I had a lady come in who was clearly spoiling for a fight. Rude and aggressive as fuck, but I treated her calmly and professionally bc that’s what I do, but she just kept saying dumb shit, so I kept responding, not in any offensive or upset way, just repeating the facts in a calm manner. She really started yelling and was like 'I don’t like ur fuckin attitude you keep talking back you’re getting all smart with me.’ And I (again. Very calmly.) Explained that I was simply answering the questions she asked. And she was like Where’s your fuckin manager bc you’re being rude as fuck you just keep talking back.

So my manager was at the register next to(?) mine(the counter is like an L shape and has registersat either side of the corner). And they turned around and said 'I don’t hear anything unprofessional or rude’ but she kept yelling over them and talking about how rude I was, so they kept saying I wasn’t doing anything wrong, so they were like 'Okay you can go now. Please leave the store’ and gave her the corporate number when she asked for it angrily, saying she was gonna complain about us (like so??? Fine. Here’s my name and the store # idgaf).

After she left and we took care of the couple of customers left they turned to me and were like 'wow she was really spoiling for a fight.’ And I was 'yeah I mean I saw it when she came in and was super aggressive right off the bat. She was so angry for no reason. Like…chill lol’ and they gave me a sort of look and were like 'I don’t know how you deal with that (((which, mind you, every employee, and Definitely them, deals w shit like that without going off))) I feel like it bothers me a lot more when they get like that to you, than it actually bothers you’. I just shrugged, but again……they dont,,,,do that for other employees. They always stick their neck out for me or get angry (I mean as close as they get to angry, excepting the thing w the bodega owner) on my behalf. It’s…what am I supposed to make of that?

Literally if they’re around and a customer tells me to lighten up or smile or smth (bc my face is just really unexpressive unless I put a lot of effort in) they’ll just smoothly come over and be like 'I’ve got the smile for ya’ or if someone is being aggressive or harrasing about it, they won’t even pretend to be cheerful and nice, they’ll just be like 'My employees don’t get paid to smile.’ Which,,,I’m not the only one who never smiles. Actually it’s just my manager and one of the assistant managers that always smile. The rest of us are p brusque and more obviously dead inside and dislike interacting with people. But again, they’ve never done that or said anything for another employee (that I know of, obv I’m not always around, but I’m around enough to feel like I practically live there).

And just. Bloody hell, they will talk about aggressive customers and tell me the customer got in their face and will be like 'seriously, like this’ and move their face so we’re barely not touching. Like. ???!?!?!????? And they get real close to me and brush by me a lot. Mind you, they do not do this to other employees (esp the face thing), but they’ll like lean over my shoulder to look at my paperwork or make fun of me (not like in a mean way just something stupid) or they’ll come over to put their numbers in (bc we need higher clearance on the computers for like,,,almost everything it’s so stupid) and they’ll like get right up next to me or squeeze in front of me. Which again, they do not do to others, and no other employee does that to me or anyone else.

If this was a book ppl would be pissed about the slow burn like Okay Why Aren’t Things Happening Already??! But unfortunately real life and an actual human being is more complicated than that. And I don’t know what to do with it.

~update: they just turned thirty. Fuck. I’m just barely twenty.

Edit: New jeans. very nice new jeans. dammit please stop rearranging the shelves in front of me while i’m trying to work, your ass is distracting. And a new tight tight jacket too and they wear it with the sleeves pushed up right below the elbow and that’s just. Always hot. The fucking jeans together with that stupid cursed jacket makes it incredibly difficult to look away. They’re just hhhhhhhhh I can’t. This is. So much.

YEAH I could prolly go on about them forever, but I know this is super obnoxiously long. I don’t know who I’m apologising to tho bc literally nobody reads this. Which is prolly why I overshare but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#personal #serious fucking angst

[cluelessmochi-blog]

seat neighbor taehyung.

doesn't understand the concept of personal space && the fact that he's so tall and basically a tree with its branches hanging all over the place doesn't help either

so when he falls asleep

which is like 80% of the time

you have to deal with a sleeping taehyung on your shoulder or sprawled over the whole desk

and like 

at first you brushed him off resulting in him yelping as his head fell onto the desk and he looked so offended and insulted it was kind of cute

but now

you don't mind bc he is handsome and somehow its cute b UT AT THE SAME TIME HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO STUDY WTH ???

but you kind of cope with it since you got used to it somehow ??? 

the other 20% in class is spent with him asking you for basically anything bc he has never something on himself

"can i pleasseee get a pen ??"

"um...would you mind giving me a piece of paper?" 

and so on

so you just

give in && obey to his every will because how can you say no to this cute face ???

but when the person behind you even dares to ask, you will just say no and they're mostly like ?? why ??? while tae is like :^) and ur just like ???

basically, it's weird sitting next to tae since you're always short on stuff && confused about your life choices but it's also kind of comfy 

like he is never annoying or late to class && most of the time he shows up ( even if he just sleeps for the whole hour )

you don’t even question his weird behaviour since u got used to it

its also nice bc you always have some music next to you 

the reason is tae will always listen to music when he’s sleeping and it’s not even loud

but

since he’s so close while napping, you’ll always get to listen what he listens to 

tbh it’s such a weird mix 

it fits him

like sometimes it will be slow ballads

then full on hip-hop

there is no in between and it’s just like him

like he is either doing something really passionately or sleeping

that’s how you know him at least

however one day while he is soundly sleeping next to you, his head casually on your shoulder while you’re concentrating on thESE GODDAMN EQUATIONS LIKE WHAT IS MATH ???

so you were sitting there trying to understand the lesson while absentmindedly tapping your shoe to the rhythm of the song that taehyung’s been listening to 

and then you notice

that this type of music is so different from the rest ?? like it’s kind of jazzy but so soothing

and it’s just instrumental 

but you like it even though you’ve never heard it before 

so after class you awkwardly walk up to him bc u never rlly talked before after class but it’s cool right ?? 

so you just 

hi

and it’s so awkward at first like taehyung doesn’t even notice you talking to him bc he’s too tall he cant hear u

no but srsly 

you grow kind of impatient and just lightly tap him 

and taetae has a thing for being dramatic so he whips around looking shook af and you just ?? what is this living meme ??

you straight up ask him what is this jazz song that he’s been listening to bc you found it so unfitting for his usual choice of music

and with straight up asking i mean stumbling over your own words like a mess bc college made you a mess now you live the mess life

and tae is too pure he doesn’t even question you knowing his taste in music even though the both of you are barely on first name basis

and he just kind of radiates all of a sudden ??

and you’re like holy shit what did i do

then you’re suddenly dragged out of the room and you want to scream bc what is hAPPENING ???

but you stay quiet since you’re interested and he clearly wants to show you somerthing ?? you guess ??

so after 5 minutes of strolling over the campus with kim taehyung as your guide

you find yourself back in a place you’ve probably been like 3 times ??

the official music room of the college

and you’re kind of stunned while only looking at everything, not noticing that tae is holding a literal saxophone in his hands

as soon as you notice you kind of question him even further ??

but knowing taehyung he’s probably just playing around like he does with his other friends 

n O YOU DON’T STALK HIM SHUSH

back to the scene where the both of you are in the music room

so he just grins his rectangular grin while looking so proud and suddenly he starts playing

and you swear

your breathing stops for a second

reason one is you never heard such passionate and jazzy sounds being played live before you and only for you

and reason two is you never expected taehyung to be the person to show you something like that

don’t understand this wrong tho like you knew he is more than he seems to be because he’s sleeping 80% of the time and still doesn’t fail ?? lIKE HOW BOI U A WIZARD ??

no but you never expected this

so you just sit down on the ground while looking at this goof who was literally napping on your shoulder minutes ago

and now he is here

playing like a professional and giving you a private concert 

and when he stops you’re somehow sad bc it was so beautiful and you kind of didn’t want it to end

you’re still staring at him completely surprised and shocked with your mouth agape while he’s grinning and out of breath

but he looks

so content

you can’t help but stare

and it’s not only the art he produced seconds ago you are so stunned by no it’s taehyung himself bc he literally is art

WOAH YOU’RE GETTING CHEESY SNAP OUT OF IT

and you’re the one who gets out of the daze first by taehyung jumping into your face with his cheery expression while screaming

“AND??”

and you’re like

omg om omgomg g

why is he like that 

SO YOU JUST TRY TO MATCH HIS CHEERY ATTITUDE AND THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR LIKE

“YOU’RE PHENOMENAL!!”

since you’re not only talking about the music b uuuttt,,

anyways he just chuckles and yanks you up to stand again and suddenly he gets shy 

“thank you...” 

and you’re still like how ?????? why do u do this ???

you can’t help it he’s just so pure

that’s how you got introduced to saxophonist kim taehyung

and you bet your ass he is going to jump into your face after every lesson so you will accompany him to the music room

“(Y/N) !! I’VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR SO LONG LEMME SHOW YOU !!”

“KIM TAEHYUNG WE HAVE A TEST TOMORROW!!”

“.....please ?”

“ok...”

aND YOU JUST CANT SAY NO OK 

so you always get dragged to the music room after class ends and actually you don’t really mind because through this you get to know him better + you’re able to listen to this a+ fantastic music

you find out why he’s always so sleepy in class and it’s basically bc he always works on new music and mostly with his friends who have no classes in the morning 

so he forgets to go to sleep

and you just kind of face palm but at the same time ?? it’s cute ?? it’s weird ??? it’s tae

also you get to know how much of a sucker for little kids he is when you have to take care of your nephew bc your sister is like sry gtg !!! and ur like im in college how should i take care of a child for a day ???

and it’s basically illegal but pshhh ur sister doesn’t care

so you come to the music room one day with this 4 year old boy who is so shy around you and you just ?? idk maybe tae will know what to do

and as soon as you enter the room with this kid tAE ALMOST COMBUSTS BC WHO IS THIS CUTIE RIGHT HERE ???

needless to say tae befriends the child so easily you’re like ?? wth ?? i’m his aunt 

ur like :^( and tae is like :^) and the child is like :^))))))))

bc he literally starts to love taehyung and they’re playing around while you’re watching and ur kind of mad

but at the same time you’re happy 

because iT’S SO CUTE 

so when it’s time to say goodbye, tae’s heart breaks a little since he has to let go of this cute child even tho it’s only been like 2 hours he cAN’T

your sisters sees this and is like

“well if your boyfriend is so eager to take care of him, he shall visit his aunt more often!”

aND YOU JUST GO RED WHILE TAE GRINS FROM EAR TO EAR AND YOU JUST ASSUME THAT HE’S TOO OBLIVIOUS TO NOTICE THAT SHE BASICALLY CALLED YOU BOTH A COUPLE BC HE’S IN LOVE WITH THE KID

so as the both of them leave and you wave them goodbye you’re so nervous && embarrassed while your sister winks at you 

you’re like ??? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ??

and after that you don’t even talk about your sister calling taehyung your boyfriend because nobody brings it up so you just ?? shrug it off ?? even tho you’re somewhat sad ??

until one day tae doesn’t show up to class 

and you assume he’s sick because he never skips classes 

so then when a week passes without the two of you seeing each other

you get worried and start asking around on campus if somebody knows where he is

finALLY !!! someone helps you and it’s jungkook as you will later find out, tae’s roommate along with somebody named jimin b ut that’s later :)

so you get guided by jungkook to the boy’s dormitory and you feel so  ouT OF PLACE ?? like everywhere are boys or girls who are in a relationship with a guy who’s living here 

but anyways

you open the door and there is the tree you’ve been missing

sprawled on his bed with sheets and empty cups which were once filled with instant noodles covering his body

jungkook and you both sigh simultaneously bc honestly ?? he’s such a mess

“he’s been like this for the past week.”

u just look up to the other tall male and there are literal question marks in your eyes 

jungkook just chuckled at you and shrugs

“you know musicians....they struggle. even when their muse is right in front of them.”

aND YOU’RE STILL LIKE ????

jungkook is like do we have a taehyung 2.0 or why is this girl not understanding what i’m saying 

so he just grips your shoulder turns you to tae still being passed out and then back and kind of shakes you 

“ HE LIKES YOU OK “

AND YOU’RE LIKE AAAAAAA

bc what is this rollercoaster of emotions ???

taehyung is getting up because the shouting of his roommate interrupted his peaceful slumber so he’s trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes while smacking his lips 

and iT’S CUTE 

he’s cute

and he’s like half asleep as he watches the both of you standing in the door frame 

“who likes me ?”

AND KOOKIE IS AT THE VERGE OF EXPLOSION BC WHY DOES HE HAVE TO PLAY ARMOR 

so he has enough and just pushes you on top of tae and leaves 

pfft not his business

the scene was pretty hilarious, not for you tho

laying on top of each other in a sea of empty cup noodles and music sheets

and tae is stunned bc w HAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE WHAT

and ur like chill dude

b ut the only thing you get out is ‘hey’

AND HE’S THE SAME

and for the next two minutes, you just sit beside each other in silence and embarrassment bc ?? omg what

B UT THEN you decide it’s time to spill the tea because you’RE LIKE U KNOW FUCK IT

“soiheardyoulikemeilikeyoutooyourehonestlyreallycuteok”

and you speak so fast and are basically a tomato but he understands and just grins 

so you’re like wha t 

and he’s again :^)

tae randomly tackling you to the bed and you getting your breath knocked o UT HELP 

and the both of you just stay like this for a while

however the peaceful silence is disturbed by tae teasing you 

“you likeeeee meee”

“i can’t believe it either...”

and he’s like :^( all of a sudden

so you pANIC AND KISS HIS FOREHEAD BC WHAT TO DO SUNSHINE IS UNHAPPY

taehyung starts giggling like a little school girl bc he’s honestly so happy

AND THE LITTLE KISS

he takes it as an invitation to pepper your face with kisses b c HE’S SO HIGH ON SKINSHIP 

and also remeber that he doesn’t understand personal space ? well yeah he really doesn’t 

so yOU’RE LIKE STAHP

but it’s in a playful manner so just laugh and it’s so lovely and cute

and you never had imagined that kim taehyung would ever like you

bc honestly he is handsome !!!111 LIKE REALLY

even teachers sometimes hit on him

and he’s always nice

so you’re like h OW COME I DESERVE YOU

after play fighting with tae tae you ask where he’s been

and he becomes this shy bean again and rUBS HIS NECK AND IS LIKE

“i’ve liked you for a while now....and i wanted to confess. but in a special way you know ? i wanted to do it with a song.”

a ND YOU’RE ON THE VERGE OF CRYING BC HOW CAN SOMEBODY BE SO PURE ???

s O YOU JUST TACKLE HIM AGAIN AND HE CHUCKLES BC HE FINDS YOU SO ENDEARING AS WELL

ehem moving on

you find out that he finds it lacks something and gives you his headphones to listen to it

after a while you actually agree with him and he gets kind of sulky like ‘i knew it :^(’

b ut you’re quick to interject likE NO NO NO I MEAN IT’S BEAUTIFUL BUT IT DOESN’T SOUND COMPLETE

“hm....but why tho.”

“ you say it’s a confession right?”

you again turning red with the thought and h e nods

s O YOU JUST BLURT OUT

“well how ab out you singing i mean a confession is kind of through words and i like your voice it would be so ni ce.”

at first he looks at you in diseblief 

then he’s thinking

then finding the idea ridiculous bc what ?? m Y VOICE ?? nononononon i can’t sing 

but maybe jimin could sing the lyrics or even kookie ??

and ur like n O IT HAS TO BE YOU !!

and he whines bc whyyyyy

you’re just like you’re the one confessing right ?

“right...”

then you will sing !

at this moment: you: >:^) tae: >:^(

b ut you get what you want since you’re so pretty and cute and tae doesn’t know how to say no to a cute face like yours

and THE SONG IS PHENOMENAL JUST LIKE YOU EXPECTED IT TO BE 

and each of the boys ( whom you got to know while producing tae’s confession song ) agrees and they’re in awe at taehyung’s beautiful && soothing voice

at the end you’re like i knew it !! and tae is like yeah ok babe you’re the best

and you want to complain but he kisses you so it’s okay i guess ??

so then you ask for the name of the song because everyone agrees that it should be put on soundcloud so everyone can listen to it 

“(Y/N)”

“yeah ?”

“no...(Y/N) is the name of the song.”

“W A IT NO!!”

“why not ? the song is literally about you !! and it is still for you, so its name is (Y/N).”

“TAE!”

“it’s already uploaded it.”

“goddamnit taehyung.”

he’s so smiley then :^)

after that everyone officially knows you’re a couple because well iT’S QUITE OBVIOUS ISN’T IT ??

also the thirst for tae’s voice is real

and you’re always so proud of your boyfriend

sometimes you don’t even feel worthy of being his girlfriend bc he’s so talented and you’re just ?? well, you’re you nothing more

and it’s on one of your date nights ( you both are sitting in the boy’s dorm while watching disney movies) when you start crying

“ don’t cry babe,it’s just a movie albeit it’s still sa-”

“it’s not the movie, tae.”

then you start explaining all the doubt that’s been lingering within your mind these past months of being together and he’s seriously confused as to why you can’t see what he sees 

so then he goes on to explain why he fell in love with you

“(Y/N). You’re my muse. My everything. Without you, I would have never been able to show my true potential. You were always there to support me and even kept up with my weird antics. You never gave up on me and pushed me to my limits. I love that. But I also love you as a person. I’ve watched you since day one, since you walked into the class for the first time and became my seat neighbor. You’re so smart and nice and always so...perfect. You’re my inspiration. I love you.”

aND NOW YOU’RE CRYING EVEN HARDER BC WOW

and tae doesn’t know what to do ??? like help me ???

but you just kiss him all of a sudden and then he knows that everything’s good

“I love you,too, Kim Taehyung. Saxophonist, musician, singer or whatever you’ll be in the future. I’ll alway love and support you. No matter what.”

aND HE JUST SQUIRMS AND SQUEAKS AND NEEDS TO HUG YOU SO BAD HE ALMOST CRUSHES YOU

but it’s fine

because that’s how taehyung is

~~~

A/N: i hope you liked this imagine list thingy ~ might turn it into a series upon requests ^^ but for now, have a nice day ♥ requests here

#bts imagine #bts scenario #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts #bts fake texts #bts college #bts smut #bts v #bts taehyung #bts kim taehyung #bangtan

[cutemoniic]

i used to rlly like my history of art teach bc when last year i was homesick for two weeks almost she phoned my family and asked my mom how i was and expressed concern about me not attending school and i felt good! wow someone cares about me wow!!!! wow... only to later find out that she doesnt give a shit about students. she phones everyone that misses school for more than three days to tattle on their families. she genuinely thought that i had skipped school for two weeks and wanted to rat me out to my parents. which knew that i was home, sick as a dog.

aannnnnnd since then she became pretty manipulative and bossy overall??? she would trick us by saying that she wasnt going to do oral tests this particular day, make everyone come and not study and THEN do the oral test anyway and give and scold us if we told her that she told us that she wasn't going to and then oral test those people and put bad or low grades on them no matter what. she would make SIX PAGES LONG tests with topics we barely did and she would claim that she gave us papers about that and told us that one of us prolly lost them. if someone would be missing during a test she would first phone them and start SCREAMING like a banshee about ''''''their future scholastic careers'''''''' and humiliating them in front of the whole class because wow youve been called by the teacher???? lol m8. she would also phone their families. she uncovered two of our classmates that were ditching school and got them punished both. she also tried to phone another one of our classmates that was in the hospital with acid in their blood but the mother answered and she got herself chewed up in front of the whole classroom.

and today she reached my limit??? i had to do a test with another girl of my class. the 90% of our class is having fun in berlin for their last years trip, while me and three other classmates stayed behind. she told us to not miss school today bc we were gonna do her test, okay?? i get to school this morning, nobody is here, so the old janitors (theyre such sweethearts gdi) told me to just go home and that they would have told her that and no problem. i get home, i get back to bed to play pokemon in peace. its around 9:30am. my other classmates messages me saying that shes at school and if i was going to come for the test. i tell her that i came earlier and nobody was there, she tells me okay and stops messaging. 10:01am. she messages me again telling me that she met our teach while sneaking out of the school (there wasnt anyone either) and she held her back PHYSICALLY by HER FUCKING ARM and asked her where she was going. my classmate told her that she was gonna go home because there was just her and????? she says 'if you do that i will call your family. you will stay here' and she brought her to ANOTHER CLASSROOM SHE WAS TEACHING IN and she was FORCED to stay here. what the fuck. 10:30am, my classmate messages me and tells me that the teacher is going to call me and to be careful. i go like ?????? and a minute later my phone rings. i pick up because i was confused and curious and she starts SCREAMING LIKE A FUCKIGN BANSHEE TO GET MY ASS IN SCHOOL OR ELSE SHE WAS GOING TO PHONE MY HOUSE AND MAKE ME REPEAT THE YEAR. ofc i get into a panic attack, pick myself the fuck up and go to school because what????? the fuck can you do???????? 11:00am: i get to the classroom to this piece of absolute shit screaming that i HAD to do her test now, slams the door of the classroom shut loudly and starts making sounds with the desks by dragging them around. still screaming. and everyone who knows me also knows that loud, sudden noise makes me heavily panic. by this point i was literally TERRIFIED and shaking and when i got the test i had like. 20 minutes to scramble myself together before i had another panic attack. she pretended to ignore me until i started crying and at that point she went ''?????? anderson whats wrong?????'' LIKE SHE DIDN'T KNEW. she attempted to help me by trying to touch me, which honestly made me panic MORE. my other classmates was telling her not to touch me, that i was having a panic attack and to just NOT TOUCH ME. she kept trying to get to pat my head and reassured her that she dealt with little kids all the time and kept apologizing. after this i literally swunged my backpack on and RAN out of the class, stayed with the janitor lady and she even got mad at the teacher for wanting me to get back inside and finish the test. i got sent home and my mom got PISSED at this situation, and on monday shell have a talk with the principal. she has attempted to call me ALL DAY until i had to mute my phone (so if people message me on kik/etc ill be slower to respond unless im directly looking at my phone ngi) and she gave up for now. thats why im terrified of school and why i started disliking her subject. fuck her and everything she stands for!!!!!!! just fuck her

#;;ooc #negative ;; #its hella long jsyk its about a teacher and her bullshit