#normal i swear

[ragingadhd]

Doing normal boy things rn like umm I uh

#normal I swear #me I’m normal

[arklay]

once upon a time i liked a ship for what it was and then i saw how the fandom treated it and now i have visceral hatred towards it (harsh but not far off)

#leah.txt #normal i swear #it’s like i’m just so tired of seeing it and i think it’s cause a lot of the time people mischaracterise the characters involved so often #when talking about it and i hate it. i’m being vague cause don’t want it showing up anywhere. but like in canon the concept is so good and #so juicy even though i am not really a fan of like enemies/lovers kinda tropes. slash cause it’s more lovers to enemies but were always #technically enemies but real bonds formed on accident and that always runs deep even after the fact etc etc it’s such a good ship in concep #and then you see the fandom and go ah you’ve made it insufferable to me now. it gets reduced to just like the most i mean fandomy shit #it happens so often with me now that it’s like i need to not look at tags ever actually akdjsjsksns #so so vague but the concept of falling in love and fraternising when you shouldn’t and so many elements of you are going to betray this #person when the time comes but you can’t help falling for them and the other side being i shouldn’t be falling for this guy he’s my #superior officer but it’s like no he’s actually not and he’s a mole and he’s going to kill you all off. and then running for him when he #gets injured. that’s so. even after he tells you that you what his plans were. still caring. but like. out of anger and hurt you bruised hi #ego and insulted him and that starts big revenge run of like someone who can’t take criticism or being made to feel lesser… but you have to #hunt him down even if you still hold feelings for him he is everything you stood against and were fighting and now you’re fighting him when #you loved him. irl you know i hate this shit and betrayal and lying and all that you know this i’m just talking in fiction it’s got so many #layers. having to kill the man you once loved because he became everything he was against and he developed delusions and lost his mind. IT #HURTS. then you look at the fandom and it’s like teehee they’re just soooo gay gay homosexual and it’s like. this ship has layers. it’s lik #an onion. but okay. and it’s always just like i mean the gross people come out with the really gross fics with it but like omg it’s such a #good ship in concept with lovers becoming enemies when they shouldn’t have been lovers in the first place because it was a sort of forbidde #setting. the captain and his subordinate. captain who is actually a mole and going to betray these people who he has unintentionally formed #some bonds with. actually learning they are on opposing ends. the man they saw as fair and just and cool is a liar a manipulator a scheming #bastard who is only doing things out of self interest BUT HE GOT FEELINGS. it’s so arghghhhggggg and that’s why the criticism hits deeper #cause it’s someone he cared about and it’s so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #like there’s a reason it’s the most popular ship because i mean they are literally each others narrative foil lmaooo but like the fandom #just somehow makes it weird a lot and i’m 🧍🏼 why guys why #and what i mean by gross people and gross fics is what a lot of people do to villains doing to others even when they aren’t like that. you #guys are just nasty and gross and need to not share things like that <3 #i feel like it's a lot of just fetishising two men being together rather than focusing on their dynamics and characters

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[butchdonne]

(consumed with lust voice) omg what a fucking weirdo

#guys i swear im normal #anyways. guess who this is about :D #no points if you guess correctly because it's fucking easy #pip squeaks #bat out of hell

[manyfandomsonelog]

It’s been a few episodes without Sir Damien and I’m having withdrawals… I miss him…

#NORMAL I SWEAR #I just want to know what he’s up to…. #on the plus side current episode I’m on is somewhat Sir Caroline focused so all is not lost #liveblogging

[waggledoogledoggle]

HOLY CRAP

YALL

LOOK AT HOW MUCH ANGEL LIGHTS UP NOW JUST BY HUSK TALKING TO HIM

QUITE LITERALLY ALL HUSK SAID WAS “hey” AND HE JUST-

HIS WHOLE FACE, HIS ENTIRE DEMEANOR JUST BRIGHTENS AND LIGHTS UP

#HE LOOKS SO HAPPY #i can be normal about them #I swear #thats a lie #i mean just- LOOK AT THEM #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #hazbin hotel

[gambeque]

im normal

#im normal #i sweae #i swear #splatoon 3 #myart #side order #agent 8 #pearl splatoon #splatoon

[3hobbitsinatrenchcoat]

#ao3 #ao3 down #meme #I'm being so normal about this I swear #archive of our own

[tenguucringefails]

I do have a humansona for Homestuck and they're just as much of an embarrassing dork as you'd think

The pesterchum handle was so painfully unintentional I wanted to cry and vomit

#yes sans is here #I'm normal about undertale #sun and moon are also here in disguise #NORMAL I SWEAR #homestuck #homestuck art #homestuck oc #hs oc #tenguudraws #tenguu art #oc art #art

[kermit-coded]

thinking about how both kristen and buddy died so easily. how they were treated as disposable sacrifices by both their church and their god and their community. thinking about "helio wouldn't have let that happen" and thinking about kristen dying on the first day of school despite being the chosen one. thinking about how the religious conservatives are always the first to cry "think of the children!" and then being the ones to harm their children the most in the end.

#soda speaks #normal normal normal i swear i'm normal about this #d20 #fh #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #fantasy high spoilers #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #buddy dawn #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year

[puppyeared]

these two are so interesting to me

characters belong to @canisalbus

#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying) #actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it #but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo #but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try #so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine #god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos #i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope #what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures #my art #myart #others ocs #vasco #machete #vaschete #furry art #fur #anthro

[sora2396]

Ready?

#tartagila #genshin impact #childe #artists on tumblr #sora2396 #genshin art #genshin tartagalia #foul legacy #4.2 spoilers #4.2 archon quest #im perfectly normal about this cutscene i swear

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

#ramble #also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99 #and chilli cheese bites #i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am #if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions #it's FOOD. you'll survive #it's not even NECESSARY food #if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand #but it's just NOT #make your own coffee for the love of god #when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do #and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE' #and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you #also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places #because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one

[time-woods]

redraw of that one panel but in my more realistic style- theyr being gay again

#adventure time #fionna and cake #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #someone asked why scarab had so much ass and im afraid 2 say if you think thats a ton of ass then you aint seen ass #hes got hips n no ass thats just how he is #he may not haveass but hes got that arch 2 make it lookit #hes smart like that #apologies to those who read the tags im normal i swear

[batmanisms]

after school ice cream run captured by one alfred pennyworth circa spring 2003

#they literally make me want to cry #how am i supposed to be normal when THEY EXIST #batman #robin #jason todd #red hood #dc #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #art #fanart #commissions open #tag as ship and i swear to fucking god i'll murder you

[gauloiseblue]

You always joked about how you'd find out what's beneath his mask someday. Literally and figuratively.

He'd scoff at your attempts, or suggestions to lift up his sniper mask. Some of them caught him off guard, to the point he almost did it if not for his logical mind. But some of them were downright ridiculous, that he couldn't help but snort.

Maybe you already accepted it from the start, that he would never give in, but it had become a harmless jest at this point, so you might as well keep it going.

Until he gives you permission.

The thing is, it doesn't make you happy—it scares you to death instead. He once bit off someone's finger when they poked it in the place they shouldn't have touched. So what's behind the mask couldn't be worth the pain.

At first, you thought of it as a warning. Yet he wasn't showing any signs of threat. He even pulled you closer, so you'd get a better view of him.

His mask stays on, but he lets you touch his face. Your hands hover an inch away from his veiled visage, before you test the water with a touch.

He doesn't flinch away, or charge at you like a venomous snake. He stays still, letting your hands cup his cheeks.

"Didn't you say you wanna feel my face?" He said as he brought you closer, causing a shiver down on your spine.

"I did," Your lips trembled slightly, "I'm doing it."

"You're not doing it right." He tugged your paralyzed hands onto his chest.

You're confused when he firmly grips both of your hands, before slowly sliding them under the hem of his hood.

"Inside, maus." He commanded you, "Tell me what you feel."

And so, you complied.

You reach into his mask, and touch his neck tentatively. For a brief moment, his muscles tense under your fingertips, before they come down relaxed.

"Oh." You murmured as you pressed your palm onto his nape, "You can certainly survive a fighter jet ride."

He doesn't give you any response, so you take it as a cue to continue.

Your hands creep up higher, until your fingers reach the soft bones of his ears. They seem small in your grasp, smaller than they should, for a man of his height. A quiet smile spreads in your lips, as you imagine the tiny shells that frame both sides of his face.

"I'm surprised you have clear skin." You commented when you caressed his cheek, feeling the texture of his skin, "I thought you'd have a problem with it since you always wore a mask."

"Not always." He replied, nudging you to roam further, "I took it off whenever I'm alone."

"Did you take care of it?"

"No."

"How unfair." You chuckled, "I want to have your skin."

He keeps his eyes on you, and you feel the need to clear your throat, before you trace the lines on his face.

"You have a big nose." You mused as you ran your finger down from the bridge of his nose, "It's crooked."

He hums, while his eyes follow your uncertain gaze.

"Why you stopped?" He called you out, and you jumped upon hearing them, "There's one place you haven't touched."

You bit your lips, trembling, as you lowered your hand, until you felt the soft lumps on your fingertips.

They form a thin line, before they split open, inviting your finger inside. Your breathing becomes labored, as he takes a hold on your hand, guiding your thumb into his mouth.

He doesn't break eye contact the whole time, and you're too paralyzed to look away. You feel the sharpness of his teeth as his lips are closing around your digit. You have anticipated the guillotine falling on the head of your thumb, yet what comes after is a soft brush of his tongue.

It was rough, and drenched with his saliva, that it formed a string at the time your thumb left his mouth.

"König—" You gasped when he dragged his lips down to your palm, before stopping on your wrist. Pressing his tongue on your pulse point, where the skin barrier is so thin, that it feels as if he's tasting your flesh.

"Scared, maus?" He muttered, his teeth scraped against your skin, "Are you scared of me?"

You stare at him, as your instinct screams at you to nod. But you shake your head, despite the tremble in your hands.

"Then you'll do as I say." He wraps his arm around your waist, leaving no room for you to run, "Take off my mask."

Your eyes widened, not believing what you just heard from his mouth. Alas, his glare is enough to confirm the truth.

He guides your hands to his mask, pushing it up in a manner that's close to unveiling a white cover. And once the mask is lifted, you have no time to admire him as he slams his lips against yours.

Your cry of surprise is swallowed by his mouth, as he pushes his tongue between your lips. You can't do anything but cling to him, as he presses your body down with his, until your back is flush against the cushion.

When you open your eyes, what greets you is a pair of eclipses. Gone was the cruel Colonel, as he's replaced by a voracious brute.

The moment he opens his mouth, you know you'll be devoured by him.

#i wrote 2 konig fics in one day there's something wrong with me #cod #cod mw2 #call of duty #konig x reader #könig x reader #könig cod #konig mw2 #is this cannibal core? #idk girl #yandere konig #there's something about fingers in a mouth........... #i'm normal i swear #I've fixed the 3rd person pov. just noticed it now. oopsie my bad