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marionthegeek · 6 months

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Stede is in the Gravy Basket, Izzy is Alive

The season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death is odd. It hits weird. I think I know why. And this is going to sound bananas, but give me a chance to explain. Maybe you’ll agree.

It has a huge tonal shift. It seems to speedrun Stede and Ed’s romance. It feels like we’ve missed out on something from the end of episode 7. The fight scenes and pirate plans are nonsensical, even for OFMD. And most egregiously, a prominent character is killed off in a way that feels disingenuous to his story arc, just for starters.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. We need to go back to the beginning of season 2. The season opens with Stede looking more piratey than ever. Beard, sash, earring… oh he’s his own fantasy of a real proper pirate. He’s clashing swords with Izzy Hands and demanding to know where Ed is. He’s dreaming. In the dream he kills Izzy. He and Ed run into each other’s arms while screaming each other’s names. They crash into the surf. Ed says “I knew you’d find me, Babe. I knew you’d find me, Love.” Stede keeps asking if they’re good. Ed dodges the question. Then Ed asked about the smell. Stede wakes up in a crowded room with farting and shushing roommates.

At first I thought the finale was supposed to be just a “satisfying” mirror to Stede’s dream. Stede and Ed call each other’s names and run into each other’s arms in a display that resembles a more grown up version of Stede’s dream fantasy. There’s some wild sword fighting not unlike Stede’s dream duel with Izzy. And Izzy dies.

It does mirror, but I didn’t find it satisfying. All of the characters except Stede feel flattened. Stede gets to make the heroic plan (that we never even hear) while there’s at least five pirates with better skill sets for it in the room. Ed, as Blackbeard, was described last season as “History’s greatest tactician”; Zheng Yi Sao conquered China; Jackie just took out a room full of British soldiers. Izzy and Auntie are right there. You could make arguments that Jim or Frenchie, or pretty much anyone could make a better plan. Then Stede says “It’s only suicide if we die,” which is horrible considering the plan gets Izzy killed.

Stede’s really the only person in that room who thinks Stede should be making the plans. So I got to thinking, what if it's not just mirroring the dream? What if it is a dream? Last shot of episode 7 is an incoming cannonball. Maybe he’s unconscious.

Huge shout out to @Arty_Sunflowers on twitter (I’m not calling it X, fuck Musk) for pointing out that that isn’t the only episode that ends with a cannonball. Episode 2 ends with Jim swinging a cannonball down at Ed’s head. Stede’s not just dreaming, he’s in the Gravy Basket!!!! (Stede even screams “Oh my God!” at the end of episode 7 in the same tone he screams “Oh my God, I don’t want to die.” in s1e9.

Stede’s hopes, dreams, and insecurities shape everything in the finale. And it helps explain the absurdities in the episode when you remember that Stede is living out pulp adventure and romance novels in his head. (He even looks like someone on the cover of one in his episode 1 dream.) But Stede can’t be dead, you say. He’s literally the main character. Well, Ed was dead for a whole episode. Let’s take a closer look.

I could and probably will do another essay on Lucius as a POV character and Ed’s mental health and how the threads they seemed to have dropped aren’t as dropped as they appear. But all of that hinges on me proving the Stede is in the Gravy Basket theory. So for this essay I’m focusing on that.

So for starters we’ve got the cannonball scenes. They’re eerily similar even if the method of cannonball propulsion is different. We don’t know Ed is dead and in the Gravy Basket for about half of episode 3. Neither does he. It makes logical sense you can be there without realizing it for a while. Buttons even said Ed didn’t know whether he was in the Gravy Basket or not in episode 4. It definitely messes with your reality.

One of Ed’s issues is self hate. He manifests Hornigold as his companion. Stede is desperate to be a good pirate and have people be proud of him. And he lives in his fantasies a lot. So his dream shapes his experience. There’s a whole bit about Zheng needing “soft” and Auntie saying she’s proud of her. That isn’t their issue. It’s discordant with the show previously. But it is Stede’s issue. He’s manifesting.

When we first see Stede and Zheng in episode 8, they’re in a familiar spot for Stede, the bridge from episode 1. But why are they alone? When we last see Stede and Zheng in episode 7, several characters are within 5 to 10 feet of them. Did none of them decide to escape with Stede? Izzy, Lucius, and Jim are closest. But we know Pete was there begging Stede to stay down during his fight with Zheng. Archie was definitely in the bar. That's why Jim entered the fight. So why is it only Stede and Zheng at the bridge? Because, going back to rescue others fits into Stede's hero fantasies.

Zheng and Stede also argue about who pulled who to safety and how they got there. Stede waxes poetic about being a failure his whole life, but things always seem to work out for him. He’s such a main character mediocre white guy in this scene. He saves Zheng from two random soldiers, then she has to save him from them. Then they fight a bunch more soldiers on the beach until Blackbeard manifests in full leather from the ocean. It looks cool. But it's absurd, even for OFMD.

Speaking of Ed, he begins the episode waxing poetic about nature and calling fishermen simple. Those things are more Stede than Ed. Pop pop tells Ed, “You have no skills” which is something Izzy said to Stede in episode 5. He also tells Ed, “If you were ever good at something, go do that, you bum.” If Stede’s insecurities could be distilled into one sentence, it would probably be that. (He also talks about being like a wave. I’m not 100% sure it's a The Good Place joke, but it would be thematically appropriate.)

Pop pop also tells Ed he “ruined dinner.” Back in season 1, in Stede’s flashbacks to life with Mary and the kids, Stede thinks he’s ruined dinner. But remember, we also see another version of the scene where Stede is laughing with Mary and the kids. Stede isn’t exactly a reliable narrator. Even in his own head.

Despite it being beyond unlikely, Ed finds soldiers reading one of Stede’s letters. I know physics in this show is sketchy, but this seems like a good time to point out no one found the red silk. Stede wants Ed to read a letter and for it to fix everything between them. The letter, plus Stede being in danger, make Ed swim out, find his leathers, and emerge from the sea with them on, while the music is the Swede’s solo from Stede’s fuckery in s1e6. Stede wants to be rescued by his handsome pirate in leather, again, just like a pulp adventure romance novel. Little chance of Ed swimming out and finding his kit. Even less of him getting leather pants on under the water.

Back to the beach… for some reason two squads of soldiers are wandering around out on an empty beach. A visually incredible fight scene occurs. It honestly reminds me of Pete’s story in s1e2, including flips. Ed and Stede yell each other’s names exactly as in the dream. Like I’m pretty sure they used the same audio track. The same song (I Love My Baby, Nina Simone) starts playing. Ed says “I love you.” Stede says “I know.” (We’ll come back to the Han Solo joke in a minute.) They have a bit more absurd fighting then Ed, Stede, and Zheng sit on the beach complimenting each other. And Ed calls Stede “babe”. He’s never done that outside of Stede’s dream and this moment. He’s called him mate a couple of times. Babe is exclusively in Stede’s head.

Back in the Republic of Pirates, the crew are locked in a cell that is actually the “vista suite” at Spanish Jackie’s. Izzy gets a heroic entrance. It’s as cool as Stede thinks Izzy is. And he gives a speech that sounds like what he probably told Stede to get him to relinquish the suit in episode 5. Piracy is about belonging to something. You can’t ignore the wishes of the crew. Izzy also knows details about Captain Kidd and Pinocchio. Not impossible, but not exactly Izzy’s wheelhouse. It is Stede’s though. He’s obsessed with pirate tales and he read Pinocchio to the crew.

Stede, Ed, and Zheng show up just as Jackie has poisoned a bunch of soldiers. Stede makes a plan, despite everyone else being more qualified. Everyone disguises themselves as soldiers. Now we’ve seen the crew of the Revenge wear disguises. They never do the weird free styling they do here. Only Stede actually looks like a British officer. Zheng at least wears the disguise properly. Suddenly Ed has a multi gun bandolier like Blackbeard in the books. Pete ripped the arms off. Izzy is still wearing his vest. Doesn’t make sense if we’re going for stealth. Neither does not checking hostage Ricky for weapons or putting Izzy and his wooden leg at the front of the group.

If I'm right, Stede wouldn't know Ricky was behind the explosions. However, Ricky is basically evil Stede. He's Stede's perfect foil. All of this is reflecting Stede's psyche. So, of course, it's Ricky.

Izzy gets shot and says quite a lot of nonsense in his death scene. “They love you, Ed.” Um, 3 of them were going to leave like five minutes ago. Ed has made some progress with the crew, but we’re not at “they love you Ed”. The only person who thinks the crew loves Ed is Stede. Stede who weeps for Izzy while most of the crew aren’t showing much emotion. Stede can barely deal with his own big feelings. His fantasy doesn’t give the crew room to have them. Also, given the rest of the season, having Jim just let Ed be the person cradling Izzy doesn’t fit. The crew is also pretty stony at Izzy’s funeral.

I feel like it should be noted the last shot of Izzy in episode 7, he’s got one are around Jim and a hand on Lucius’s shoulder. He sat in Wee John’s lap in episode 6. Reactions to his death don’t make sense.

Also, Izzy’s terrible grave marker is very … Stede. He’d think it was a brilliant idea.

I didn't understand at first why Izzy had to die, even in Stede's dream world. Stede clearly likes him a lot better now. Why kill him? Well, it's because we're supposed to think Buttons is there to go to the Gravy Basket for Izzy. When actually he's already arrived in the Gravy Basket and he's there for Stede. Also, mentors die in pulp adventure novels. Stede sees Izzy as a mentor.

They go aboard the Revenge for Lucius and Pete’s wedding. It’s cute that the crew performs the ceremony, but I’d venture a guess that’s because Stede doesn’t know a captain should do it if it's legally binding. Stede does love the romance of it all. The sudden uptick in monogamy is also very Stede. He barely understands monogamous relationships. Polyamory is beyond him.

Then Stede and Ed, who earlier told Zheng they’d help hunt Ricky, go back to the island where Izzy is buried to start an inn in a run down shack. Stede knows Ed wants to do this because Ed told the (Taika’s) kids that they ran an inn. We hear Ed ask “Jesus, what is that smell?” Now, at first, I thought Izzy, because Ed “knows the smell of my rotting first mate”. But what was the last thing to happen in Stede’s dream? A fart joke.

Last scene is Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave. To retrieve Izzy from the Gravy Basket? No, Izzy’s not dead. He’s with Jim and Lucius, probably watching over Stede’s corpse. Buttons is there to retrieve Stede.

This theory fixes the plot holes and dropped threads problem. We’re coming back to them next season. Ed's amends making should be far from over. And we see several moments during the season where he acknowledged that. And yet here on the island they've set up a horror movie and called it a happy ending. Well, Stede is the type of boss who thinks things are fixed with a pizza (Calypso) party. In Stede's mind, this is a happy ending. But really Ed is still off finding himself, Stede is (temporarily) dead, and Izzy (who is not dead!) is probably guarding Stede's corpse.

They haven't resolved the domestic violence thread, but they haven't dropped it, either. Izzy is alive. Stede and Ed aren't together (yet). There's still time.

This also explains some of the freewheeling nonsense David Jenkins has been spouting in articles. Ed doesn’t see Izzy as a father figure and mentor, Stede does. Stede almost turned to mush when Izzy approved of him. And David is writing a three volume adventure novel. Han Solo (Stede) is in carbonate (the Gravy Basket). The perfect end to the second act. See, I told you we’d get back to the Han Solo joke.

I still have problems with the season. I really think they need a sensitivity reader. Even just implying a newly disabled character was fridged is certainly a choice. Especially given the amount of time devoted to how the character handled the disability. The DV scenes were brutal, as well as the suicide attempt, and the Human Puppet joke. I think they need someone trauma informed and disabled in the writer's room. (David Jenkins hit me up!)

Overall, I liked season 2. Especially once I realized Izzy wasn't dead. I'm looking forward to season 3, the conclusion of the Gentle Beard arc, and hopefully 6 seasons and a movie of Izzy (to be clear, he's not captain) and the kids sailing up and down the coast being gay and doing crimes, occasionally checking in with Stede and Ed.

Seriously, David, call me.

Historical Note: IRL Blackbeard died on November 22, 1718, killed in a naval battle off Ocracoke Island in North Carolina. IRL Stede Bonnet died December 10, 1718, hanged in Charles Town, South Carolina for piracy. IRL Israel “Izzy” Hands survives piracy, death date unknown. I know this show doesn’t actually care about historical accuracy, but this lends a little support for my Ed died, then Stede died, and Izzy isn’t dead theory.

#our flag means death #ofmd #izzy hands #stede bonnet #gravy basket #Izzy Hands lives #David Jenkins I just want to talk

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zorobraun · 1 year

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hear me out… enemies to lovers with ghost

you shouldn’t have bitten off more than you can chew. now you’re here, pressing your hand against the deep wound on your stomach. it hurts like hell, you can feel the bullet inside. you try to breath to calm yourself down, but you can’t. you’re holding back your tears as you hear the voice that you least expected to hear from. “y/n, how copy?” that british accent almost tickles your ear. ghost actually sounds preoccupied, you guess he fakes it too well. you two fight too much for him to actually give a shit about what happens to you on missions. you grunt in pain, you think it might be over for you. you’re dying. “i need you to answer me right fucking now, you idiot. where are you?” the sound of his erratic breathing as he runs to try to find you makes you realize he actually wants to save you from death. well, it’s what lieutenants do, right?

“i’m… nearby the house, hiding under a giant tree, bleeding like a motherfucker. come find me or else…” you take a moment to breath painfully, ghost’s concerned eyes wander around the area you described to be at. like hell he’s going to let you die miserably like this. “it’s pretty dark in here. good luck with that, lieutenant.” you try to chuckle to break the ice, but you end up groaning in pain instead. his heart starts panicking for no reason. “i’d find you even with my eyes closed.” he says firmly and you swallow hard. the silence killing you more than that asshole’s perfect shot on your stomach. now you’re the one closing your eyes, the weakness completely owning your body. god, you hate this so much; being weak. at least, you’re still breathing. shallowly, but still. you hear heavy footsteps, but you’re not strong enough to react to that. you’re literally dying.

“c’mon, let’s go.” you hear ghost’s hurried voice as he grabs your arm gently to pick you up in bride style. you frown in pain, your senses coming back to life again. “i’ve got you, i’ve got you.” he reassures you as you nod, your hand still pressing the wound. your vision is still blurry when you look at him. his eyes reciprocates the eye contact for a moment, just to make sure you’re still alive. you notice the fear in his eyes, because his eyes never lie — even if ghost wants them to. “so you do like me.” you mumble, smiling half heartedly. you feel his muscles tense against you. “i like you alive.” he mumbles back, hurrying his steps to get you to the hidden emergency base. “of course i’m alive…” you start, resting your forehead against his arm to hide the pain painted all over your face. “i didn’t want my last words to be ‘lieutenant’.” you chuckle, crying lowly.

ghost smiles half heartedly to himself, shaking his head. you’re tough just like him. he taught you well. “a woman after my own heart.” that’s the last thing you hear before passing out on his strong arms, half alive, half dead. “stay with me or else i’m gonna kill you myself.” his voice brings you back to your senses again, but it sounds so distant, like you’re not even next to him right now. you also hear different voices and medical equipment sounds. you feel a hand holding yours for a dear life, making you curious. it could be anyone, since you’re friends with everybody except for ghost. however, your curiosity fades away when you feel a huge pain in your stomach, like someone just ripped something off of you. it must be the goddamn bullet.

you wake up a few hours later in your own bed. you open your eyes slowly and take a deep breath when you realize you’re at the base. so you’re safe now, good. you feel much better, even though the pain is still there. you look around to see if you’re not dreaming, and when you see ghost — your annoying lieutenant that makes you go crazy in the worst way possible — holding your hand as he takes a nap on a chair next to your bed, you’re certain that this is all a dream. you’re actually dead, because there’s just no way this can be real. you even pinch yourself with your free hand to make sure this is actually happening. this warmth against your hand… it’s the same one you felt a few hours ago in the emergency base. so it was him. life really is unpredictable.

he sighs as if he’s waking up from his nap and your heart starts racing. ghost looks tired, as if he spent the whole night inside your room, waiting for you to wake up and say something, do something, do whatever the hell you want just to show him that you’re alive and well. “good morning.” you tease as he opens his eyes lazily. his mask is slightly up, so you can see his relieved half heartedly smile when he hears your voice. he caresses your hand with his thumb, as a way to say that he’s so very glad that you stayed with him. yes, the team needs you as well. but he needs you more. “hey, um… thank you. for everything. you saved my life.” you smile shyly. he licks his lips nervously, as if he’s not sure of something. it makes you confused, but you understand it all when you feel his soft lips crash against yours. the kiss screams i’m so glad i won’t spend the rest of my life missing you, and your heart starts beating so fast that you think you might die of a heart attack.

“i really like you alive.” he whispers against your lips as he lays his forehead against yours. he opens his eyes to look at yours and you both smile weakly. you really like him as well. alive, preferably.

#call of duty #ghost call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley #simon riley angst #simon riley fluff #simon riley smut #simon riley x y/n

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speedycoffeedelight · 19 days

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I believe it's time for the third and possibly final part of 'Voxs extremely safe job as a night security guard'. Because there have been multiple pizzerias built literally in the same spot over the years, so why wouldn't Vox sign up for all of them?

~ (FNAF 2)

Reader: Vox! Why are you taking that job again? Did... Did you forget how you almost died there last time?!

Vox: Don't worry your pretty head, Reader. That old pizzeria got knocked down like 2 months ago. This one's way better! They replaced those old musty animatronics with some new plastic ones. Those ghost will be long gone by the time they open up Monday.

*After Voxs first night*

Vox: *Bursting through the door at 7 am* THERE'S FUCKING MORE OF THEM! The old ones are still there and the new ones are haunted too! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GHOST?!

~ (FNAF 3)

Reader: Fazbear's Fright? Vox... You do realise that this is just the pizzeria from last time? Like, it's literally the exact same place you almost got killed last month, but with a horror theme.

Vox: Oh, I am fully aware, BUT! I thoroughly researched this one before applying. It's a horror attraction based on the past haunted pizzarias where I'll be both a security guard and an attraction myself. You should have seen them begging me to join after finding out I worked at BOTH locations! The best part? No animatronics~

*After Voxs first night*

Vox: *Bursting through the door at 7 am* THEY FUCKING FOUND ONE. Okay, okay, it's just one and I've survived taking on like 11? But there's also like, phantom animatronics? Fuck it, does anyone know a way of setting ghost free? Or should I just burn the place down and be done with it?

~ (FNAF 4)

Vox: *Climbing into Readers bed*

Reader: *Waking up slightly* Vox? What's up?

Vox: *Whispering* Shhh. B-Bonnie's in the hallway, and Foxy's in your closest. D-don't worry, I-I'm an expert at dealing with them.

Reader: *Too asleep to register what he's talking about* Oh, okay. Just be careful not to crush Nifty.

Nifty: *Giggling under Vox* Don't worry! I like being crushed!

~ (FNAF Sister Location)

Reader: 'Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental'? Uh, are you sure you want to go back to working with animatronics? We've only just got you to stop hallucinating about Chica in the kitchen at night.

Vox: I know what you think, but this should be fine. This isn't the pizzeria. It's a different location.

Reader: Really? Isn't this place by the sister company of Fazbear Entertainment? You sure you want to risk it?

Vox: Pfft, come on. What're the chances of this company owning 2 haunted animatronic restaurants? Be serious.

*After Voxs first night*

Vox: *Bursting through the door at 7 am* YOU WON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!

Angel: You know, one day he's going to rip that door right off its hinges.

~ (FNAF 6 Pizzeria Simulator)

Reader: I thought you said you were done with animatronics?

Vox: Look, this is different. They say, 'If you want something done right, do it yourself'. Well, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I've run a business before, so it shouldn't be that hard. And I get to select all the animatronics this time round, so who knows? Maybe this town will FINALLY have a pizzeria that ISN'T haunted.

Adam: Sweet! Here, be a pal and give us some 'family discounts' when we come to celebrate the grand opening.

*After Voxs first night*

Vox: *Bursting through the door at 7 am* DO THEY COME OUT THE FUCKING FACTORY HAUNTED?!

Vaggie: You know, he's really lucky we all have to be awake this early for work, or else he wouldn't have lasted this long.

~ (FNAF Help Wanted)

Reader: Honestly, I don't know why we didn't think of game development soon.

Vox: Me neither. It's a shame I'll only be a play tester. Coding is probably my greatest passion next to television. Well, I guess this is it! No more haunted animatronics or late nights for me. I'm returning to my rightful place at the forefront of technology!

*After Voxs first day*

Vox: *Bursting through the door at 7 pm* WHO WANTS TO GUESS WHAT THE GAMES ABOUT?!

Husk: Heh, fates a bitch. *pouring Vox a drink* Just be thankful it's a game this time around. I mean, who's ever heard of a haunted video game before?

~ (FNAF Security Breach + Help Wanted 2)

Lute: They're building a giant shopping mall over where the old pizzeria was.

Vox: Yeah? Well, good riddance. I mean , come on, that buildings sat burned down and decaying for almost 5 months now. Happy it's gone after the Hell those jobs put me through.

Velvette: *On her phone* It says here that the place is called the 'Mega Pizzaplax', a giant mall owned by Fazbear Entertainment and will feature all new 'glamrock animatronics' for entertainment and will be fitted with special staffing bots to help guest. But they apparently need a human to work as lead security guard. Thinking of joining, Vox?

Vox: *Whimpering*

Alastor: Oh ho! Yes, I've heard chatter of that place from the radio station. Rather interesting promotional ideas they're working on. Apparently, they're working on producing another one of those confounded virtual reality game based on the premise. Sound familiar, Vox? I heard they're looking for 'beta testers' again.

Vox: *Slowly sinking to his knees, whimpering, he knows he's going to end up signing up for both.*

Charlie: Uh, Reader? Do you think you could, um, help Vox out? I think h-he needs some, uh, kind words of reassurance!

Reader: Sorry Char, I tried to warn him in the past, but he never listened. He dug his grave, and now he must lie in it. Now, if you'll excuse me, but I'm currently trying to sort out our other ongoing issue.

Reader: *Leaning out the window* LUCIFER! STOP BRING HOME APPLE TREES! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SELL THEM, NOT STEAL THEM!

Lucifer: *Digging a hole and planting another apple tree in the garden* BUT NO ONE'S BUYING THEM! WHO GOES TO A FLORIST TO BY AN APPLE TREE? NO ONE, THAT'S WHO!

Reader: YOU'RE GOING TO GET FIRED IF YOU KEEP THIS UP! AND IF YOU DO, SO HELP ME GOD!

Lucifer: HEY, LEAVE MY FATHER OUT OF THIS!

H O L Y

THIS IS LONG!!!

How long did you take to write it?? And just as always, you never fail you impress.

Vox not learning his lesson after his first night is the cherry on top 😂😂 He's like a magnet to the animatronics. He only gets pulled towards them, never learning his lessons.

And not him bursting through the door every damn morning at 7 am. I imagine reader is used to it by now. She's just sipping on her cup of coffee as Vox rushes through the door and reader is like 'Lemme guess? More animatronics?"

Also Luci don't steal the apple trees!! That's bad! Both Charlie and reader will scold you!!!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #Vox x reader #lucifer x reader #Vox #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar x reader #vox hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel

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things-arent-what-they-seem66 · 16 days

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Could you do one with 4,31, and 38

Context: Adam, Lucifer and the rest of the gang are having dinner and someone (maybe alastor) puts angelic poison in Adams tea in an attempt to kill him. Lucifer is quick to “accidentally” knock it over before Adam could drink it, leading it to spill on adam.

(Bonus if Lucifer has a stern talk with alastor, all protective style)

-🐊

4. “When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”

31. “You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.” “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.”

38. “Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.”

Oh ho ho!! I love me some protective Lucifer and Alastor being an antagonizing little shit >:)

Charlie had prepared a beautiful meal for everyone at the hotel. She made a roast with all the veggies you could eat.

Adam was waiting on water to boil so he could have tea with his dinner. "Come on and eat Adam, it'll get cold before the kettle is ready." Lucifer said as he walked with his own plate.

Adam looked between him and the food and yeah, he didn't want to eat cold fucking food. He grabbed his dinner and sat down beside Lucifer and Angel. After a while if eating and talking, Adam remembered his tea. "Shit, my tea."

"No worries, I made some for myself as well. Here you go." Alastor handed Adam a mug of green tea, his smile anything but innocent.

Adam looked at him questioningly. "Um, thanks I guess?" Since when did this Bambi freak go out of his way for Adam?

"Oh don't thank me. Just drink up before it's cold." Like your corpse will be, Alastor thought sinisterly. He hoped he used enough angelic poison.

Adam couldn't feel any heat coming from the mug, he stuck his finger in it and frowned. "It's already cold asshole." He sucked the tea off his finger and grimaced. Did he put fucking sugar in it? Cause it was super sweet.

Lucifer got to looking at Adams tea, his eyes shifted to Alastor who was just waiting for the fallen angel to drink it. When he looked back he saw it.

It would be nearly impossible to see, but the way the light hit his tea Lucifer saw the golden shine that sat on top of the liquid. Angelic poison.

Lucifer's eyes widened in horror as Adam lifted the mug to his lips. "Don't!" He slapped the mug out of Adams hand, making the tea spill all over Adam.

"AHH! What the fuck!?" Adam jolted up and glared, the cold liquid soaking into his clothes.

"Dad!"

"Look, I'm sorry but there was posion in your fucking tea!" Lucifer said as he handed Adam a napkin.

Adam snatched the napkin and tried in vain to clean himself up. "Poison, the fuck are you...." He suddenly felt dizzy, the room started to spin. Adam sat back down and held his head in his hands. If there was poison in his tea, he licked his finger which meant....

"Don't feel well?" Alastor mocked, he may have only gotten a drop but it could be enough to make him terminally ill.

"Fuck off." Lucifer hissed as he put his arms around Adam. "I gotta take him to the fucking hospital. Come on ba- buddy." Lucifer corrected himself. When Adam only groaned and didn't move, he cursed and picked the sinner up in his arms and ran through a portal to the hospital.

Adam didn't know how long he was out, but when he came to he was in a hospital bed with all the tubes anyone could possibly have sticking out of him. "For fuck sakes."

"Thank fuck you're awake." Lucifer sighed in relief from his seat beside Adam's bed. "The doctors weren't sure when you'd wake up."

"Don't you mean 'if' I wake up? Angelic poison is no fucking joke. One big gulp and my insides would have fucking melted and poured out of all my holes." Adam ranted, yeah okay maybe not that bad but still!

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.”

Adam scoffed and folded his arms. “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.” Adam shifted to look away from Lucifer, Woah what medicine were they giving him everything felt funny, like he was kinda high.

"I'm not leaving you alone Adam, you could have died."

"I realize that. Thank you for not letting me die a horrible death." Adam still didn't look at him.

"It would have been a permanent death!"

"Like you care!" Adam finally looked at Lucifer, eyes a blaze.

This took Lucifer aback. "If I didn't fucking care I wouldn't have brought you here, asshole! I fucking love you!"

Adam bit his lip to keep it from quivering. "No you don't...."

"Adam-"

“Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.” Adam spat as he held tears back. "You never fucking loved me, hell you barely even like me." Hate fucking wasn't love.

"Adam." Lucifer took his hand in his. "I've always loved you."

"Yeah right."

“When did you fall out of love with me?” Lucifer asked, fearing the answer.

Adam looked away, eyes wet. “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”

"That's not true! I never stopped loving you. Adam," Lucifer used his other hand to cup Adam's face and make him look at him. "I've always loved you. I'm sorry I made you feel any different." They placed their foreheads together looking into each other's eyes. "Let me prove it."

Adam searched his eyes for any trace of a lie. "Fine, but this is the last time I will ever trust you with feelings like this." He melted when Lucifer kissed him softly.

"I promise to protect you and your heart."

"Alastor!" Lucifer stomped over to the deer demon. The hospital wanted to keep Adam overnight just to make sure he was okay.

"Lucifer, what do I owe the-" Alastor was shoved into the wall behind him.

"You've got some fucking nerve trying to posion him like that." He growled, his eyes going wholly red.

"He's fine isn't he? What's the matter, worried your boy toy wouldn't make it?" Alastor winced when a hand wrapped around his neck.

Lucifer let his full demon form come out. "Listen here you Bambi reject, radio fucker. You so much as even LOOK at Adam wrong from now on and I'll make you drink a whole fucking bottle of angelic poison. Nobody, and I fucking mean NOBODY fucks with the people I love."

Alastor winced in pain but his smile widened. "You love him, huh?"

"Yeah I do. He's the love of my life and no one will come between us again. Stay away from him." Lucifer dropped Alastor and walked away.

Alastor held his throat and smirked. Interesting, very interesting.

#adamsapple #lucifer x adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #ask

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load-theloading-artist · 1 month

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Hello, hello, it is i, load!

With something that was a meant to be a response to a reblog chain i hadve with hypnoi...

But I decided to make my response into its own post instead…for I have a lot to say. (I tried to restrain myself but– )

(And in my experience reblog chains that have a lot of reblogs and/or are really long can cause lag. Idk if their device experiences it but just in case i didn't want them to deal with the lag ^^”.)

I also had thoughts about making this type of post before as well. So I additionally took this as an opportunity to finally make it. I hope that's alright.

And now, I just wanna say, I will be going into detail on all my thoughts about almost everything about My Inner Demons. The writing, the story, the worldbuilding, the characters, the scenes, about almost everything.

And additional heads up because despite this show meaning alot to me, and something that I've created related to it has helped me through so much and something I've poured blood, sweat and tears into.

There's going to be sections that may not be pretty. Where I can't hide my feelings when talking about some of these certain points.

Also that I'm not a professional, these are just my personal thoughts, feelings and opinions on Aphmaus show.

But finally getting into it;

My thoughts on Aphmaus’ My Inner Demons.

—- Let's start with a quick recap.

Within an alternate dimension, there is a world known as Daemos. Where a group of 5 individuals take it upon themselves to find a solution to their world's magic-crisis.

Said group consisting of their leader,

a Second-Born Prince known as Asch, Along with his 4 Loyal Knights, an ex-assassin named Leif, an ex-soldier/general of Rhal(the first-born prince)s army named Pierce, an individual who would've been executed just for being considered weak if Asch didn't ‘spare’ him named Noi, and a not very much is known about member named Rhys, who has a student/teacher relationship with Asch's Grandmother.

Said Grandmother helps the five to find a solution to their world's magic-crisis.

A magic-crisis where the source of all their magic, which comes from human souls, is running out. (A crisis caused by not very smart decisions leading to an extinction of humans) (And a Crisis not known to the general populace and other kingdoms. only the royal family and its council from the most powerful kingdom of them all, know of the crisis.)

(Through Lady Grandma) They learn of a possible solution, which leads them to take on a mission to kill the last remaining human for their soul. In order to use it to open up a portal to another world, which they called “ea-urth.”

Here within Ea-urth, is where they temporarily experience utter suffering, And where they meet a human girl named Ava who finds them, and panickedly asks if they need help. Which, they awkwardly stand silently and glare & stare in response instead. (Because Pierce said don't show weakness. *Because Daemos society doesn't allow you to.*)

However she finds Asch collapsed on the ground behind them, quickly realizes he's unaliven’t and performs cpr. Saving his life, and as a show of thanks(/jk) they immediately threaten her. Before then abandoning her by hanging her on a tree by her hood.

They then get traumatized by cosplayers, return to force her to help them. She passes out after Asch turns the tree she was hanging on into ashes, and finds that their horns are real. (he burned the tree down because she didn't believe they were from another world and this in a way pissed him off. :3)

And now with her strangely intelligent cat they mistake as an earth spirit that somehow got outside despite the door being locked. Leads them back to her apartment with them carrying her like a bag of potatoes. Burning said doorknob off because locked and COULDN'T GET IN. (Johnny how???)

And soon after she wakes up, and tries to escape but fails. they spend HOURS. Literal HOURS. Waiting for her to STOP. SCREAMING. (which damn ava you got some LUNGS in you!)

When they finally get her to stop. Conversation and LIEing happens. Both sides. And a police station is involved until Ava dips out on that idea because they start threatening a police officer.

And this leads to her finally accepting she'll teach them how to live on earth!

… (*deep sigh*) …

The show is then quickly mostly about (forcibly) romantically pairing the boys with Ava.

With the occasional beginning or ending scenes within occasional episodes that portrays what's happening back on Daemos.

Which is about Rhals fiance, Lady Bish, (which one must assume is the (temporary) lead Villain of the season) Who slowly figures out what Lady Grandma has been up to, what's she hiding. And repeated hints & clues to Asch's fated sacrifice with more and more description.

The first season.. the show unfinishedly ends with the boys forcefully being returned to Daemos along with Ava magically disguised as a Daemos.

Got all that? Good, now onto

— what I gathered from My Inner Demons… (pt 1)

The story seems to have wanted to be a Harem rom-com (romantic-comedy) with a serious underlying tone & story. And i think also wanted to be for a more mature audience, at least for teens and up. Due to its inclusion of sexual jokes, (somehow minimal or non-existent) cussing, and… I guess violence?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (listen man i said “wanted”)

In my opinion, the show fails to succeed in what it wanted to be.

– Let's get into the romance first. Shall we?

The romance in this show is not done well. Not at all, To be honest.

The show forces romance onto the main cast whether it fits their character, their inner stories, or if they like it or not. When Ava finally thinks about possible romance, it's because she's being pressured into doing so because of the people in her life. Not just the boys. But adults that she's supposed to trust and be friends with.

And the boys? They don't love Ava. Even if the show tries telling us around the end of the series they do? Also that they suddenly gotten comfortable and adjusted somewhat to daily life on earth that they help do chores now? We didn't see that growth. We saw nothing. This is out of the blue!

If they were intending to be a shojo something jump type of story like ouran host club, this wasn't Previously established, nor does it fit the story (*cough* that could've been told. *cough*) additionally, even if the story was like this, they still needed to show that development!

And for most of the story, the boys only want to marry ava for power, because of a misunderstanding that she is princess of earth (*....Deep sigh…*). But suddenly they all are actually in love with or have a crush on her??

*sigh*

— onto about the comedy

I think, we can all agree… the comedy is atleast a hit or miss, and awkward and uncomfortable at most.

(I'm so sorry for mentioning these scenes 😭) Examples: Like… the bathroom scene with Rhys and Lady Grandma… plus every single… one of those jokes Ms.Oates and Lady Grandma has made.

I'll.. i'll talk about their jokes. Not right now, though.

Anywho,

I personally think the comedy aspect in general doesn't fit the story. Don't get me wrong, every story needs a bit of comedy. But with how serious the ‘underlying’ story is, the comedy is… yikes. Ofc, you could still do an overdramatic(/pos) comedy that ends up transitioning to a more serious tone at times, (Aka Romantic Killer on Netflix, which i think can count as a physiological horror/neu) but i don't think that style fits this story, or at least the story we got.

*deep breath*

– onto the serious tone/underlying story…

The serious underlying tone is overshadowed by the comedy. And the serious underlying story is not just overshadowed, but disconnected from most of the story.

Every. Single. Time. The show gives us what's going on on Daemos, and then goes back to what's going on on earth. Is almost whiplash. Due to the utter tone shift between earth and daemos. Idk how to describe it, but…

When we're on earth, it's a comedy. The way things happen on earth are dramatic, possibly one could even say theatrical and illogical, including the characters themselves. It tries to include serious moments, but again, they're overshadowed by the comedic atmosphere.

But on Daemos? It has a darker atmosphere, it's more serious. The characters on daemos are also taken (somewhat more) seriously. Though comedy tries to coexist within it... but it just feels out of place or doesnt work with what Daemos is described and supposed to be and feel like.

I wouldn't say the shifting of tone between worlds is inherently bad.. in fact it could be used quite cleverly!

In other stories. I personally don't think it works with this story in particular. I'll explain this further, later on.

Additional note; the boys were once treated with this seriousness. In the very first episode, they're in a more serious atmosphere, and treated more seriously! Like, Asch was kinda intimidating when he threatened to kill his loyal knights that respect him if they chose to stay! (... oh, we will talk about Asch.)

But the moment, we see them on earth? Say goodbye to them being treated seriously and as adults!

Oh yeah. Additionally, they are not treated as adults. What do you mean? They act like children! Which doesn't make sense for… their world and culture they're from. They wouldn't.. act like children, even if the show might imply that daemos are cruel and selfish, but if they TRULY were, this stroy wouldn't.. really work. (I'll explain, i promise)

AND that the boys seem to almost fit the group of misfits trope! They all would've been killed for being weak or being who they are because who they are is deemed weak if Asch didn't save them, spare them, or show mercy! They're alive because Asch took them in and his position as a second-born prince, right? (We will talk about Asch…)

--- This is Part 1 of a multi-part series of my thoughts on Aphmau's show because I have an abundance of thoughts, and there's a character limit on posts! 💜💜💜🫶

See you in the next part! (If you choose to, ofc!)

#my inner demons aphmau #aphmau my inner demons #my inner demons #my inner thoughts #loading thoughts...#part 2 is talking about the worldbuilding and characters!

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allureasdiary · 24 days

Text

Allurea Mentality

Self concept inspired post

Mentality:

♡ Eveyrthing I want I get instantly because I said so

♡ Nothing has ever happens to me

♡ Things just always work out for me even at the last minute

♡ I get spoiled with the finest things of life

♡ Poverty? Struggle? Hard times?? Never heard of it, been through it, etc

♡ My life is like a early 2000s movies filled with glitz, glamor, luxury and all things amazing

♡ I live life on easy mode like

Family:

♡ My family embody and reeks wealth and luxury

♡ My family generations have never a day in there life struggled or even had to consider struggling

♡ My family works hard but the luck and blessings works trillion times harder

♡ My family is the perfectional prime of royalty

♡ My parents are so lenient but so caring & loving at the same time

♡ my family and I live, breathe and die luxurious

♡ my family & I are protected for generations by the divine for eternity

Friends/Social life:

♡ it's so easy for me to make friends

♡ I'm the mother and glue of all my friend groups

♡ my friends are all kind, sweet, funny, unique and pretty in there own ways

♡ I have the most iconic friend group(s) ever

♡ I'm the diamond in the rough to everyone who connects with me (yes im a little self centered I'm sorry)

♡ whats jealousy? Never heard of her

♡ I never lose myself regardless of how many people im around

Looks:

♡ I'm the prettiest girl in the universe

♡ I'm the hottest girl of all time dead or alive

♡ I'm so disrespectfully sexy yet cute that it's actually disgustingly iconic

♡ my beauty makes the sun, moon and stars bow down to my feet

♡ Cleopatra & Marilyn monroe would wake up from the dead just to get a glimpse at my beauty

♡ Even on my worse day I look like a 100/10

♡ My face card is so lethal that it kills the worth of a unlimited black card

♡ Bitches would literally kill to look like me and sell there souls to even attain 0.00000000000001% of my beauty

♡ I'm so pretty that it actually makes me cry glitter pink tears

♡ I'm in full control of my appearance/how I look

♡ I have a face & Body so hot that it's actually rude

♡ I have the face of an angel with the body of a pornstar

#msallurea #girlblogging #my blog #allurea's diary #it girl mentality #allurea mentality #self concept

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uneducated-author · 8 months

Text

Okay but these frames show legitimate emotion on both of their faces. Chuuya's is from Dazai directly 'provoking' him, about Chuuya's shoddy martial art skills, and Akutagawa is from Atsushi's imploring question, that doesn't he want to be strong?

And these are subtly important conversations being referenced. Strength and the types it can take has been a major theme for both Atsushi and Akutagawa, and relevant to their overall arcs and bond. Initially Akutagawa utilises strength as a way to measure whether Atsushi is worthy of being Dazai's new mentee, and then they're paired as a battle union because of how well their strengths compliment each other. Meanwhile Atsushi is driven to use and develop his strength to protect others, so that he can earn the right to live. And both of them use the other as a motivation to get stronger, not wanting to fall behind the other.

With Dazai and Chuuya, it's a little more subtle. But we see Dazai comment on Chuuya's fighting style often.

First, when they reunite in the cellar for the first time in years Chuuya says something along the lines of 'I want to fight you, and crush you along with your schemes' but Dazai later responds with 'you aren't the top martial artist in the port mafia for nothing' to which Chuuya thinks 'he's predicting my attacks' to which Dazai responds with his line of 'I know your moving, pacing and habits. How else could I have been your partner?'. Chuuya's last dialogue there is that 'You can't beat me just by predicting my moves'.

Then, when they team up to save Q. It's brief this time, but Chuuya kicks at Dazai, and Dazai bounces out of the way with a cocky remark of 'Give it up, I'm familiar with your attacks, thrust, timing etc.' and Chuuya bites back with 'If I was serious I would have decimated your skull.'

The two conversations run the same. Dazai doesn't discount Chuuya's strength as a martial artist, there's no point. He knows, and Chuuya knows that he's a phenomenal fighter. Instead, Dazai simply says that all your training is for naught, because you can't hurt Me. The threat is in being known too well. Dazai can't help but hammer it in, that You are Known by Me. And Chuuya always responds with a warning. Chuuya, who surrenders control to a beastly ability that kills indiscriminately always says 'If I am out of control, if I am serious, reading my moves will not save you'.

But here? Dazai tells Chuuya that he has a flimsy punch, that he's weak. The line feels strange in all honesty, because Dazai may use deceit, but he doesn't lie in this way. He doesn't tell Fyodor 'I deduced your location' in the cannibalism arc, he references and gives credit to Fitzgerald. He tends to win by controlling the circumstances, not bluffing. He's good at lying, but it isn't a habit, and it certainly wouldn't work on Chuuya.

So Dazai utilises this rhetoric, a weak one to provoke Chuuya. But it's interesting, because that's genuine emotion on Chuuya's face.

Both Akutagawa and Chuuya prove responsive to the external stimulus. Akutagawa even repeats Atsushi when he says 'stronger' showing evidence of internal thought. And the damning evidence.

A literal point of view shot from Akutagawa, anime exclusive. The vampires aren't puppets or drones. We know that Bram has converted humans into vampires before, and since he's ostensibly a good guy, having 'converted vampires are glorified muppets' wouldn't really work.

They're trapped. They're inside their bodies, watching themselves work for villains who killed and manipulate them, and forced to watch the people they care about suffer under their own hands.

I've seen a lot of theories of 'Chuuya wakes up and sees the blood', hell I've made some myself, but that's not the case. It's not that Chuuya will wake to a corpse. It's that he'll remember putting a bullet in one.

(unless of course Shenanigans happen and Mr Bungou Stray Dogs is Okay)

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs spoilers #bsd dazai #bsd #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #bsd meta

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pigeonwit · 4 months

Note

hello again mr pigeon 'pidge' wit i come to u with a writing req ....... no pressure to write obviously!!!!

but consider ur shitface drunk davey w jack (potentially friends too) at a restaurant ... javey aren't together at this point ... but davey is just a little too drunk and ends up pretty much lying with his head on jacks lap ... cue 'jack, I don't wanna go all the way home all by myself ....... can I come home with you?' and jack being the smitten pushover he is of course lets David 'Lightweight' Jacobs sleep in his bed with him ...

davey wakes up has no recollection of what happened and is SO concerned when he wakes up in jacks bed - jack is shirtless - and oh lord he's SO hungover .... anyway ...

consider also jack waking up and saying 'hey beautiful' and Davey short circuiting and jack shrugging and saying 'well u seemed to like it just fine last night'

sorry for the long af ask but this????? in your writing style!!!!! I would shit myself /pos

roman i have had this in my inbox for so long cause i want to write this so goddamn badly but alas uni is killing me, so that's probably not gonna happen for a while. BUT! i do have little snippets for your convenience, because again, this idea was so fun and i wanted to write it so so badly. hope these can tide you over:

“Davey,” Jack says, far more charmed than he should be, because he is pathetic, “maybe you oughta take a break for a bit, you’re-”

“Don’t worry yourself, handsome,” Davey winks, and Jack immediately feels his stomach drop. They have entered Flirty Drunk Davey, which means Jack is going to be of no help for the entire evening. “I’m a big boy, I can make my own decisions, and I’m deciding to get sloshed tonight.” He drums his hands on the table as he gets up and shoots Jack a finger-gun as he stumbles only slightly. “Livin’ la vida loca!”

Oh, Jack is a sad man. Jack is a weak, pathetic little man who is in love with someone that just said livin’ la vida loca unironically. Jack is a sad, sad man.

[…]

“And iguanodons,” Davey says quite seriously, with one finger raised like a very wobbly professor,“iguanodons, they walk like – like this…”

He shapes each of his hands into three-toed points and leans forward to plant them on the floor.

“Oh, no-” Jack says quickly, taking his wrists and gently pulling him upright. “No, Davey, that’s okay, don’t – don’t crawl on the floor, pal.”

Davey looks at him with the largest eyes Jack’s ever seen in his life.

“But that’s how iguanodons walk…” He says plaintively, like Jack is a monster who is stifling a very important display of science, and Jack is so pathetically gone for him that he’s almost tempted to say, ‘I’m sorry Davey, by all means crawl around on the floor like a dinosaur, I love you so much.’ Christ, he needs to skip town, go somewhere so repressed he’ll never even think about feelings again without curling up and dying of shame. Britain, maybe. Or wherever the Amish live.

“I know, bud,” Jack soothes, rubbing a hand down his back. “You, uh – you just show me later, okay? We’re going inside now.”

[…]

Right. Right. Breathe. Facts. That’s what Davey needs. Facts.

Fact one: he is currently in Jack’s bed, in Jack’s sweatpants.

Fact two: he cannot remember how he got into either Jack’s bed or Jack’s sweatpants.

Fact three: Jack is making pancakes. Shirtless. With a bit of batter stuck to his collarbone that Davey really wants to lick.

(Fact three, subheading: Davey might still be a little bit drunk)

Conclusion: Davey had literally mind-blowing sex last night while more drunk than a Baltic tide and has thus not only ruined the best friendship he’s ever had, but can’t even reminisce over the memory of it to soothe the wound. Fantastic.

#again - the iguanadon thing is a real thing that has happened.#newsies #uksies #(it's always uksies here)#pigeon scribbles #fic thoughts #loiteringandlurking #javey #davey jacobs #david jacobs #jack kelly #javid

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lu-is-not-ok · 9 months

Note

don't know if you have yet, but could you talk about Ya Śūnyatā Tad Rūpam?

Now, before I get into it, I'd like to make myself clear: my knowledge on Buddhism is extremely limited, so it's very likely that I'll miss some context around this E.G.O and Abnormality. I will try to research certain terms and ideas if they come up, but I am by no means an authority on these matters. Anyone more knowledgable on this subject is more than welcome to add onto this post in case I miss something.

With all that out of the way, let's dive under the cut for this shit.

Let's start with the Abnormality itself, My Form Empties. Now, it is immediately obvious that this Abno is heavily based in Buddhism, with the Abno itself taking on the form of a statue of Buddha that reveals a flesh-like interior when broken. Keep the idea of the stone exterior hiding the fleshy interior in mind.

In battle, My Form Empties makes use of two different Sin Affinities. Whenever it inflicts buffs and debuffs, it uses Lust Skills. On the other hand, whenever it inflicts Karma, it uses Wrath Skills.

The Skills that MFE uses to inflict Karma on both its enemies and allies are called Sluggard Waker and Compulsory Offering, both of which paint a very introduction to what this Abno wants. It giving Karma to others is seen as it Waking People Up and Forcing Them To Give It Offerings.

The latter is what caught my attention. From my brief research, Buddhism does have the concept of Offerings, however from my basic understanding they are much more bening than what MFE seems to want. In Buddhism, Offerings are usually made out of simple objects such as candles, incense, flowers, food, drinks, and such; as well as the acts of giving, following morals, meditating, and practicing wisdom. These Offerings are meant to grant the person who gives them merit, which leads to better rebirth and progress towards the release from suffering. ...I think. I'm no expert, so if I'm wrong, please do correct me!

Anyway, the reason why I'm going so deep into this is because of the nature of Offerings that MFE seems to look for.

Let's briefly look at how the Karma status effect works during its fight: MFE uses skills to inflict Karma (implied to be Bad Karma specifically) on its enemies, but if the enemy wins the clash, it inflicts Karma on its allies instead. When a unit with Karma successfuly hits another unit, its Karma gets transferred onto that unit. If the stone exterior of MFE is broken, it inflicts more Karma on its own allies, and begins targetting them with its own skills. Karma causes whoever has it to take more damage, and when its count reaches 108, the unit will instantly die.

With all of that laid out like that, here's how I understand what's going on. The Offerings done for MFE have the same "purpose" as in actual Buddhism - that being gaining merit and good karma, mechanically represented by getting rid of the (bad) Karma status effect. However, it's the nature of these Offerings that is the red flag - MFE rewards violence with good karma, and punishes weakness and insubordination with bad karma.

My theory on what this means is this: MFE is not a representation of the actual Buddha... obviously. Rather, it's a fake, twisted idol that uses the image of Buddha and concepts associated with it to gather followers and make them do its bidding. Remember the whole thing with its stone, statue-like exterior hiding a fleshy interior? I believe that statue-like look is a mere facade, while the real MFE is the flesh hidden within.

Keep in mind this idea of a fake idol hiding underneath a stone-like mask for when we later discuss the themes.

Now, I want to take a look at the Skill MFE uses to kill whoever has the most (bad) Karma at that moment - Prajñāpāramitā.

From my, again, brief research, the word means "the Perfection of Wisdom" or "Transcendental Knowledge" when translated literally. It's this concept of a perfect way of seeing the nature of reality, a type of knowledge that looks past form, sensations, perceptions, and so on. Themes of emptiness and lack of self appear to be quite important to the concept.

So... what exactly does it mean for MFE to be using this form of transcendental knowledge to effectively punish those who collect too much Bad Karma? Well, there is a possible hint to what happens in the unused texts for its MD interaction. This unused text reads:

"You close your eyes and focus on the sound. What is it saying? This thing is uttering thoughts. Empty oneself by verbalizing one’s thoughts. Expel everything within so that nothing remains. That is the statue’s way of forgetting the self. You sense yourself disappearing as well."

I think this makes it quite clear. When someone in MFE's vicinity accumulates too much Bad Karma, it effectively tells them how to reach that transcendental knowledge. How to forget one's self. How to destroy everything inside until nothing but emptiness remains. And just like that, whoever was told that does as told, and disappears without a trace.

It's a twisted take on this idea, turning the concept of reaching spiritual awakening through kindness and good deeds, into one of dangerous forbidden knowledge forced onto whoever this false idol deems its opposition.

Now, let's take a brief look at the names of the Lust Skills and Passives, and what they may mean.

Expound Sutras (grants Attack Power to allies) - the act of presenting or explaining sutras, aka scriptures. Could be interpreted as MFE presents its rules and scriptures as a way to bolster its followers' resolve.

Mahāsrī (gives Protection to target) - seems to be a reference to Lakshmi, a Hindu goddess of prosperity among other things.

Svāhā (gives Damage Up to target) - seems to be a reference to Svaha, the Hindu goddess of sacrifices.

The above two skills are interesting, as they reference Hinduism rather than Buddhism. My interpretation of that is that MFE, as a false idol, is "borrowing" the visages of other deities to give blessings, once again enforcing this idea of using facades of true god-like beings to exert power over others.

Dhyāna (inflicts Power Down and halves debuffs on self, also the name of the passive giving it 10 Protection) - a method of meditation that is meant to destroy states of mind that prevent the reaching of true awareness and detachment. Could be interpreted as MFE using this form of meditation to expel debuffs from itself, and instead inflicting them on its enemies, as well as it using it to protect itself from harm to its concentration.

Anatman (passive that activates when the interior is exposed) - a doctrine that claims nothing is truly unchanging or permanent. MFE entering this state of Anatman when its facade is broken could mean that the "true" nature of this false idol is one that is a lack of permanent self or essence, thus having to use the image of another figure to exert power. Keep that idea of one's nature being a lack of self in mind.

Nirmāna (passive that activates when the exterior recovers) - from my understanding, this refers to Nirmāṇakāya, the physical manifestation of Buddha. This seems to symbolize MFE returning to its facade, hiding its real identity under the visage of Buddha.

Okay, that was a lot. Let's take a look at the information we have on MFE from its Abno Logs and MD event.

From the Logs, we get a further confirmation that MFE's followers are obligated to protect it, and that when they fail, MFE starts punishing them. MFE is also outright called an idol of worship, and we learn that the "Karma" it uses manifests physically as a ring attached to those who accumulate it.

From the MD Event, we get to learn a few more things.

One - MFE uses mantras to verbalize its own thoughts to empty itself, further driving home that its true nature is one of emptiness, of lack of self or essence. We also learn that this chanting is not "joyous" and it's imbued with a "curse", once again twisting a concept tied to spiritual awakening in Buddhism into something much more negative.

Two - MFE is capable of judging people on whether they are "worthy" or not, as it denies giving up its ring if you fail the skill check. This further points to its judgemental and punishing demeanor towards its followers.

Three - The statue itself is described as "forever still", unmoving regardless of what happens around it. An unchanging self as a facade to an interior described as impermanent and empty.

Now, that was. A lot. If you made it this far, you are very brave and I'm proud of you. Let's actually lay out the themes My Form Empties touches upon.

The first theme I believe is important here is the idea of a false idol. This concept of something ungodly, fake, taking on the visage of a deity, of someone in power, to control others to do its bidding. In a broader sense, it's the concept of faking the position of authority for the sake of furthering one's goals.

The second theme I want to point out is the impermanence of essence, the lack of self. This idea of expelling everything within oneself, of forgetting one's self, so that one's true nature is simply emptiness. The concept of no true identity behind the mask, only nothingness.

Finally, the third theme I want to note is the idea of retribution. Of punishing acts that go against oneself. What goes around, comes around. That somewhat simplified concept of karma that is more common in western pop culture.

Alright, got all that?

Good. We can actually move on to the E.G.O itself now. (I'm sorry if you're at this point, I genuinely didn't want this analysis to be longer than Hex Nail's, but fuck man My Form Empties turned out to be a fascinating Abno to dig into.)

From my brief research, the phrase "Ya Śūnyatā Tad Rūpam" translates to "whatever emptiness there is, that is form", which seems to be a quote from the Heart Sutra (what MFE is inspired by).

During her Awakening attack, Outis says the following line: "Karma shall find its way back to you, and rest atop your head.", which is Incredibly Interesting. First of all, we have the theme of retribution in the form of Karma. This idea that the retribution of one's actions will inevitably come for whoever commited a wrongdoing. However, that's not all.

The phrasing of "rest atop your head", combined with the replacing of the khakkhara MFE uses with a more standard-looking blade brings to mind the story of the Sword of Damocles. A sword that hangs above the head of someone in power, reminding them that despite their great fortune, the cruelty they had to commit has put them in constant danger.

This is then combined with Outis performing an attack animation that heavily resembles that of MFE's Prajñāpāramitā attack, which we discussed earlier.

Now, there are two ways I believe this can be interpreted in.

One is Outis being the one seeking retribution. The other is Outis being the one on the recieving end of that retribution. From what we know of Outis's source, I believe we're dealing with the latter.

Outis has done something horrible in her past, which is extremely likely from the little bits we know of her thus far. This has caused a target to be put on her back, as it's not unreasonable to think either a specific person or whole factions are hoping she pays for what she's done, that retribution comes and punishes her for what she's done.

And she knows it. This way of being able to see her true reality, of knowing that she'll get what's coming to her sooner or later, this "forbidden knowledge", is a source of anxiety for her. Her Sword of Damocles, if you will.

Moving on, during her Corrosion attack, her dialogue line is "Fall silent… As if there were no suffering in the first place…", which is so fucking loaded that I don't know where to even begin.

This idea of ignoring suffering, of staying quiet despite obvious harm taking place. Is Outis here talking about the suffering of others? How she stayed silent as her actions caused immesurable harm to other people? Or is Outis here talking about her own suffering? How she has to stay silent and ignore her own pain to put on a brave, stone-faced mask?

The animation of the attack here is also interesting. While it still mimics MFE's Prajñāpāramitā attack, it's not actually directed against opponent. Outis directs the attack onto herself, causing her facade to fall away one by one. Clothes fall away, stone cracks, and what's revealed is the fleshy interior not unlike MFE's. This reveal of the emptiness within is what harms the opponent, rather than the blade itself.

Is this symbolic of Outis revealing that under her mask, under this facade of a military commander, there's no true identity beneath? That she truly is the Nobody she calls herself?

Let's get into the Sin Analysis part. If you are still here, I appreciate you, and I'm so sorry this is probably genuinely like twice as long as Hex Nail.

Ya Śūnyatā Tad Rūpam's Sin Affinity is Lust. It's a somewhat weird choice, but I think this ties back to MFE's first theme. By using this E.G.O, Outis takes on the emotional state of a false idol, of a fake authority, someone who puts on a facade to achieve something. The usage of Lust here could signify that that's the main motive for putting on this facade, for Outis to fulfill whatever goals she may have.

While it's possible that Lust Affinity here could imply some form of indulgence, I personally don't think that's really the case here. I believe that here Lust Affinity is meant to specifically represent the motive of fulfilling one's personal goals through the act that the E.G.O represents, that being becoming a false figure of authority.

Sin Resources-wise, Ya Śūnyatā Tad Rūpam requires equal amounts Lust, Sloth, and Pride.

Lust, like I mentioned when discussing the Affinity, likely represents Outis entering this state of mind to fulfill her own personal goal. I think the important part of Lust's usage here is the emphasis on these goals being personal. Whatever led her to take on this facade was likely something she deeply cared about.

Sloth here could represent a few things. One is the inaction in the face of suffering, this act of "falling silent" that Outis references in her Corrosion line. Another interpretation could be Outis's resignation to the inevitable retribution coming her way. She knows that Karma, this Sword of Damocles, is resting over her head, and yet she does nothing to change it. Perhaps she knows that there's nothing she can do, and has thus resigned herself to waiting for the moment that Sword finally drops.

Pride is, perhaps, the most obvious one of these three. To fall into this state of mind, to take on the false authority deception, Outis has to ignore the negative consequences for the sake of focusing on the benefits. She's doing this to fulfill her goals, regardless of the suffering it may bring to others, or the target it may put on her back afterwards.

And, to end it off, let's take a brief look at her Sin Resistances are. And, in all honesty, they seem quite fitting. In this emotional state of going back to decieving others, of putting on the facade of bravado and fake authority for the sake of her own goals, Outis is the most hurt by Sloth and Gloom. The reminder that she has resigned herself to the Karma coming for her, and the idea of dwelling on the fear and stress that inevitability causes her.

...God now that I'm back these really just keep getting longer huh. Sorry about that. If you got this far, congratulations. You get my gratitude and the knowledge that I spent like three hours on this whole post, researching Buddhism included. There's no obligation for you to share, but I would love to know how long this took for you to read.

I wish I could promise my next analyses won't be as long, but let's be honest there's no fucking way I can be sure of that.

#anon #ask #lu speaketh #limbus company #lcb analysis #outis #outis lcb #ya sunyata tad rupam outis #i am so sorry for how long this post got #my form empties was one of those abnos that i didn't have a full grasp on initially #but after this analysis i feel like i understand more about it than i will ever have to

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dangoulains-devotion · 2 months

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my humble onions on That One Bit Of Dialogue™ (you know the part) from that spooky Nibel sidequest

Prefacing this by saying I'm very chill with whatever they decide to end up doing with Vincent as long as it's interesting and not just "surprise twist for the sake of surprise twist" if u get what I mean. And seeing other theories is fun! So I thought I might share my own

But my personal first impression when he said he'd had plenty of chances to pull the trigger but couldn't doesn't necessarily mean he's talking about literally shooting sephiroth. I parsed it more as a "I knew very well that something was likely to go awry with Sephiroth even if the Jenova detail wasn't known to me, I knew that Lucrecia had chosen to experiment on her unborn child, I knew that with Hojo involved it was going to be a disaster, I knew I knew I knew. But I still couldn't bring myself to stop any of it from happening because I couldn't bear to hurt her."

From what I remember from that sit-down at the table flashback scene in Dirge, he was aware that Something was going to happen to this child but he couldn't have known what. If we're going to follow the line of pulling the trigger literally, I felt like it was more aimed at Hojo in that he regrets he didn't shoot first... My man's could've negated like All of FF7 if he'd beaten Hojo to the punch lmfaoghskhg

Vincent very much does not and has never come across as someone to kill a child or consider doing so, sure he was a turk but I feel like the whole thing with Reno after the plate drop was supposed to drive home that as much as they know certain abhorrent things are part of their job, it doesn't mean that they necessarily want to or feel good about it.

I am certainly interested still in what's gone on in the remakes with his situation of what we previously knew as him sleeping for his sins - the room itself didn't seem like it'd been untouched for 30 years and he had that speaker that let him hear yuffie and barret bantering in the elevator... If he had it as a way of alerting him to intruders, and that it would wake him up, then perhaps there was a literal "I failed to shoot" moment when the Nibelheim Incident was about to happen. He'd have known there was people down there when Sephiroth holed himself up if that was the case, maybe he considered it at that point but hesitated for several reasons

But then again! They kept Crisis Core 1:1, and when Zack finds the coffin, unless Vincent was feigning it to be anti-social, he seemed pretty out cold. So maybe he only started to actively move around/have that speaker *after* the Nibelheim Incident because it tore at him to know that something so tragic happened so close and yet he did nothing because he was asleep... So it was a choice made to be more vigilant? Who knows!

This is kinda rambly and somewhat out of order which I apologise for. It's not even my full thoughts about this damn character, we'd be here all day if I unravelled it all in detail! But I do think that, provided Dirge doesn't get retconned completely, it's likely he considers his gravest sin regarding Sephiroth was that he didn't intervene to divert the poor child's fate before it was even born. And when I say intervene I mean stop the experiment from proceeding rather than tucking his tail and letting the woman he cared for make One Real Fucked Up Choice (that's a part of Lucrecia I appreciated and kind of really hope they don't lighten or retcon about her - the way her ambition and drive was her greatest strength but also her worst traits in that it meant her sense of ethics and the like was tossed to the wayside in favour of Progress™ and Science™.)

Who knows honestly! I'm just glad we got to see him and that he's not optional anymore <3 and that he's a dork besides! I'm also very interested in his left eye... There's some parts where his left eye is much more open than his right when he's wincing or when he back flipped out of the coffin... We've seen he can close them both properly but that small detail felt intentional so I guess we'll seeeeee

I wrote this more as a tossing my 2 cents into the pool, and to organise some of my thoughts I suppose... Cid and Vincent were the two parts I was most excited for with Rebirth and after having completed it as well as side quests and the QB storyline I have much 2 think about...

If you read all the way to here then I appreciate u sticking with my rambling... I am mentally unwell about that tragic old man 🫡

#vincent valentine #ff7 rebirth #ff7r spoilers #ff7 rebirth spoilers #ive been back and forth about posting this for a few days but i figured i may as well #its under a cut so anyone who isnt interested can easily move along 👍#anyway ive had a blast with rebirth to the point im ready to replay it already lmao #the little differences and the added depth and details they introduced foe the party gives me so much #to chew on... yummy delicious

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thedevilsoftruth · 16 days

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The Two-Faced Savior ( 1. The angel and the Martyr)

Pairing: Moon Knight system x Afab Reader

Content warning: drugs and alcohol, depression, sexual content, age gap ( 26 f, 35 m ) mdom/fsub dynamic, size difference, scratch marks, crying during sex, cheating with multiple people, mentions of spouse with cancer, biting, piv, Khonshu is also the worst person ever and literally hits the reader in one scene, rough sex, unprotected, two sex scenes, power play, sexual trauma, mentions of miscarriages.

W/c: 8k+

Summary: After your family is heald for ransom and eventually killed, you are the only survivor and are found in a back ally by a man named Khonshu who tells you he has a very powerful son who will save and protect you.

Notes: THIS IS MOSTLY COMIC MARC SPECTOR W COMIC REFRENCES BUT NO SPOILERS. ( takes place in New York in 1995. Don't ask me why, I don't know why either) Heavily inspired by The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails. Very few elements here are inspired by Phantom of the Opera and mostly inspired by the movie Spilt. I came up with this fic a very long time ago when I wasn't in a good headspace. I used this as a coping mechanism. This fic is in no way, shape, or form glorifying abusive relationships. In fact, I try to make it very clear in this story that the relationships are unhealthy and not " sexy ". Abusive relationships are wrong and should not be viewed as sexy or healthy. if you are or know someone who is in an abusive relationship, please don't be afraid to seek help. You are not alone.

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Chapter playlist.

________

It's times like these when you question how the hell you got to where you are. It's times like when you start to drink and smoke your life away when you realize just who you have become. I was questioning my life every single day that I lived. My life was a waking nightmare, nothing but a mere skinkhole waiting, threatening to consume me. I didn't even know who I was. Everyday i asked myself the same questions, who was I? What was I? How did I manage to have such a fucked up life? These were things I questioned as I sat in front of the tv screen as I was getting my hair combed out like I was a five year old from a man I was pretty sure was trying to abuse me.

" that's him... Isn't it, Khonshu? " I asked as I guled my tired eyes onto the screen. He hummed in response but I could tell he didn't look. He didn't want to and he didn't care to.

" You shouldn't watch too much tv, little lamb. It'll ruin you. " He said, spraying water on my hair and continuing to brush out the knots. But I wasn't paying attention to him or whatever the hell he was saying, I was too busy fixating on his supposed " son " that was being yet again reported on tv. I enjoyed watching the TV, but Khonshu didn't. Before I had gotten my own place, he barely would let me come down and watch it at night. But sometimes, in the middle of the night, I would come into the living room and turn on the TV real quiet and watch the news channels where they reported Khonshus son fighting crime. I would also steal and read the morning paper to see if there was anything about him in there as well. When I first met Khonshu two years ago, he told me I would meet his son, and then his son would protect me and train me to become a Moon Knight like himself. His name was Marc Spector.

Moon Knight... Marc Spector it had a nice ring, didn't it? I would bet he was handsome underneath the mask. Handsome just like his father. Yeah... His father was pretty easy on the eyes despite his personality. He was a very tall man, reaching above 7 feet tall. He was lanky and skinny and wore a white suit, he had a diamond like facial structure with a semi long beard and wore his hair long, black and slicked back. He claimed he was so tall because he was a " god ". I highly doubted it since the beginning.

For the past two years, i had been under his wing ever since I lost everything. My family. My home. He wasn't caring enough for me to pretend he was my father, and he wasn't empathetic enough to be a friend either. He was just someone in my life. Someone who gave me shelter, but that was about it. Khonshu wasn't the nicest person ever. He didn't yell at me, but he spoke to me in a way that drove every bit of confidence out of my soul. He treated me like a fucking pet, like I was his obedient servant. I had very little tolerance for him and he had very little respect for me. But the worst part about Khonshu was...

" Come here, little lamb. " He spoke in that sweet, tender voice he used all the time when he wanted something from me. I knew what was coming, and although I thought I was prepared for it, I wasn't. I sat down next to him but he picked me up and sat me down on his lap with my back against his chest.

" You know, you've been real good to me lately. Maybe I'll reward you. " he spoke as he stuffed his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent and making me feel sick.

" Khonshu... I can't tonight. Please. My back is really messed up right now. " I said, closing my eyes tight as he ran his big hand down my thigh. Khonshu clicked his tongue and chuckled.

" Oh, poor baby. Well, that's too damn bad, isn't it? We made a deal, don't you remember? My salvation for you as long as you satisfy my needs in the end. " He cooed into my ear, reminding me of my burdens. The only reason I was still with him was because he made me feel good and gave me money. But I couldn't argue with him. Not anymore. I was completely powerless against him.

" you know the drill, little lamb. If you're good tonight maybe I'll be nice to you later on. " he tried to encourage me, even though nothing about encouragement by him made me want to have sex with him any less. He wouldn't be nice to me, and I knew he wouldnt. He said that to me everytime he got me underneath him, and he always ended up on fucking me until he felt like we needed to stop. And that would range from anywhere near from 1-6 hours. But still, knowing the consequences, I lifted my legs and rolled my lacy black panties past my ankles and off my feet.

He took his hand from my thigh and grabbed hold of my scalp, yanking my head back against his shoulder and making me yelp. " And maybe next time, don't try to get out of this by telling me a useless lie. Now sit back and enjoy my gift to you. It's not like you deserve it anyways. " He demanded, nudging his hips against mine and signaling me to take off his pants. I gulped, hesitating for a moment until I shifted myself on his lap and uncomfortably reached my hand for the zipper of his pants. I wanted to explain to him I wasn't lying to him, but nothing I would say would convince him otherwise.He wriggled around a bit and gave himself enough space from the couch and his body to let his pants run loose. I could feel his hungry cock already nudging against my cunt and it didn't make me feel excited. I felt dirty. I felt unwanted and guilty. I knew this man didn't actually want me, he just felt bad for me and was taking advantage of my vulnerability. Nothing he said was real. He didn't have a son, and he was not a god. He was just some dude trying to get some pussy.

Then that familiar feeling hit: his slimy cock entering into me like it did so many times before. My breath hitched, and as much as I hated it, I knew I liked it. If I didn't like it I wouldn't have been coming back, that's what he said at least. He let go of my scalp and took his glove off of his hand so that he could reach down and rub my clit. His greedy lips traveled up my neck, tasting my nervous sweat on his tongue as he slowly thrusted forward into me. It was the same thing as always. I smoke my day away and then come to his house to get fucked for money so I could pay fro my dying husbands medical bills. Even if I didn't want to come over, he would notice when I didn't call him and would call me himself and demand of my presence. And I would go. And I would let him control me.

" you're being awfully quiet. Don't tell me you've gotten sick of me. " He commented, almost stopping his thrusting completely. I knew he wouldn't be upset even if I confessed to being sick of him. He'd act like it, throw me out of his house and spit on me and tell me he didn't ever want to see me again, but I know he wouldn't actually give a shit. It's not like he didn't already have other women he kept on the side. But my silence said everything for me. Khonshu growled, and in one swift move he managed to get half of his 8 inch length into me, making me scream from the sudden discomfort and dig my nails into the palm of my hand.

" do I need to get out the toys? I wanted to go easy on you today but you're making it very difficult for me to not be harsh with you. " Khonshu threatened, his voice so deep in my ear I could feel it in my chest. I shook my head, my nose burning as a hot tear went down my cheek.

" no-no, please no. I'll be good, I promise. I'm sorry, sir. " I whimpered through soft cries. I didn't even understand what I did wrong. My back did genuinely hurt that night, I never lied to him about anything. I remember what happened the last time I " lied " or " disobeyed " him. He had tided me down with ankle and wrists restraints and had gone a round on me from the front, back, and side all two different times. I couldn't walk home that night, I gave up before I reached his porch and called my best friend of the time to come pick me up.

" Then be good. Prove it to me. Just take it, It's not that hard. " He whisper-shouted into my ear, rutting back into me faster than how he started and continuing to rub my sore clit around his finger that was was big enough to cover my entire pussy. He used his free hand to dig his nails into my skin, and he dug his sharp teeth into my neck and sucked my skin gently. I could feel my cunt becoming puffy and spilling out little juices around him, clear signs of my arousal but nothing about this was arousing to me. I wanted to throw something at him and tell him to go to hell, but that would make him bend me over the coffee table and ravage me like I was a toy for the next 5 hours.

" Fuck. Your little pussy is addicted. Clinging onto me like like the way it is right now, I'm starting to think that you're just pretending to not want me. " Khonshu whispered in my ear, licking and kissing my jaw and scraping my thigh with his fingernails. I let out a choked moan as I felt him rub a spot on my clitoris that caused my legs to jerk up in the air subconsciously. I felt his pace getting a bit faster, and the faster he got the harder he dug into my skin. He was digging so deep that he broke off a few layers of skin, and I was bleeding a bit, but he didn't care. He never cared about how I felt. In fact, he wanted to mark me. Not so that the world could see, but so that I could see and I could remember what he did to me.

Then, I couldn't keep it in much longer and I released onto his shaft. I didn't want to, but I couldn't control my orgasms. But he didn't care, he was gonna keep moving until he was done.

" Oh, look at you. I bet you were hoping for me to be done. Tsk tsk, Mmm, you gotta wait for me, too. " He chuckled darkly, slowing down and flipping me over on my back. He wasted no time to immediately start back at the same pace as before, knocking the wind out of my lungs each time his cock nudged against me. He took my wrists and pinned them together above my head, his two free middle fingers forcing their way through my mouth.

" Oh, little lamb. You need me to survive. You know this, right? " He asked. The question made me sick, but he wasn't exactly wrong. I did need him to survive. He was the reason I could keep my husband alive. I looked at him with tears flooding my eyes, my fingernails searching for anywhere on the couch below me to hang onto. My legs were shaking as he ruthlessly rutted into my sweet spot, eyes rolling into the back of my head as he drove into the deepest parts of me. He was groaning loudly, and he put a hand on my hip for support and to hold me down.

Khonshu made his final thrusts and then plopped out of me, taking me by surprise and shooting his hot spend onto my stomach. He looked me up and down, tongue darting out to wet his lips. I knew what ever he was planning next was evil.

" Taste it. " he commanded, guiding my hand onto my stomach. My hesitation showed when i didn't move for a moment. Khonshu huffed loudly and rose his hand, striking me across face hard and inflicting a loud cry out of me.

" That was an order, little girl. " He hissed, grabbing hold of my jaw and forcing my gaze towards his. My bottom lip quivered, and I was shaking profusely in fear. And what was I going to do? Say no to him?

I shakingly dragged my two middle fingers across my belly, collecting his fluids on my fingers before I parted my lips and stuck my tounge out. I looked up at Khonshu, rolling the tip of my tounge onto my fingers and licking his cum off my skin. I swallowed slowly, and it didn't taste good but I couldn't show that to him. He let go of my jaw finally and stared up at me with an evil grin.

" That's my girl. " He said, grabbing the back of my head and kissing my forehead. He stood and buckled up his pants, walked towards the coffee table next to the couch and grabbed a white handkerchief. He threw the handkerchief at me and It hit the back of my head softly. I picked it up and looked up at him. This was something he normally didn't do.

" Clean yourself and get out of here. You're lucky I even went easy on you tonight. " He said, walking out of the room and upstairs. He probably expected me to be gone within the next 10 minutes, so i hurried to the kitchen and soaked the handkerchief in warm water. I used the handkerchief to clean myself throughly and then dressed myself and left his house quickly.

__________

The next night was hell. I went and saw my husband in the hospital and then spent the rest of my night getting wasted in a bar.

The bar was quite empty, which was fine with me. It was too late anyways. I had just paided for my last drink of the night and was about to leave when a man came and sat next to me. He was wearing a leather jacket and a white tank top with black jeans and this goofy looking golf cap. He had a full mustache and a little bit of facial hair all over his jaw.

" Hello, beautiful. " He said after he had ordered a martini. I stared at him for a moment. It was usally bad news when a guy sat next to you in a bar, and that was his greeting. But he seemed harmless. He looked soft, and he didn't come off as disgusting as the other men in the bar. He smiled at me widely and put his hand out for me to shake.

" My name is Jake Lockley. Yours? " He had a very thick new york accent and his voice was deep and gravely, but it was seemingly pleasant. I looked at his hand for a minute, hesitant to take it.

" C'mon, darlin' don't leave a fellow hangin' " He joked, inching his hand closer to me. My lips quirked up into a small smile, and I took his hand and shook it. He had a very firm grip and I could feel that his hands were rough. He must have been a hard worker. He looked at the menu with a very intense look.

" Can I buy you a drink, ma'am? " He asked me, continuing to search the menu.

" No, thank you. " I responded, lowering my head into my arms on the bar table.

" Well, suit yourself. " he said, which was surprising to you because most guys would try and talk you into letting him buy you a drink. But he seemed different somehow.

" Hello Jake! " said a woman's voice from in front of you. It sounded like one of the very few female bartenders that worked in that bar.

" Hello Naomi. It's great to see you, beautiful. I'd like my usual, but give me two of them. " he told her. It seemed like he was a regular there. I didn't go there often, and I didn't even drink that often. But something had just brought it out of me that night.

I rose my head back up and looked at him. I tried to smile at him, but it came off looking odd and unnatural..

" My name is Y/N, by the way. " You told him. He looked back at you and grinned.

" That's a lovely name, darlin'. Almost as beautiful as you are. " He flirted, winking at me and making my cheeks heat up.

" Oh my--i-- thank you. " You responded. He chuckled. You looked at his jacket for a good second. He had a name tag on it that read, " Jake. L " That had the logo of the cities taxi cab company printed on it. So he was also a cab driver?

" anytime, sugar. What do you do for work? " He asked. You stared at your hands, becoming anxious. You didn't really have a job.

" I'm still tryin' to figure that out. I got fired from my job at FYE a couple months ago. " You explained to him. He hummed In response.

" I'm sorry to hear that, sugar. I hope you can find another job soon. The workspace is crazy nowadays. It's hard for people to find and get into jobs, and it's really sad. " He said, putting his hand on mine and looking at me with empathy in his eyes. He seemed really sweet and understanding, but i wasn't sure if he were trying to get in my pants or make " friends " with me.

A woman wearing black lipstick and a patch over her eye came back with two drinks in her hand and set them in front of Jake.

" Thank you, Naomi. " he said, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket and handing her a 30 dollar bill. She took it and smiled.

" Thank you, mister. " she said with a grin before walking away to take someone else's order. Jake put his fingers on the rims of the glass and moved it in front of me.

" Strawberry margarita, give her a try. You won't regret it. " He persuaded, immediately digging into his first. I gave the redish-pink drink a very long stare, unsure if i was going to dig in or not. I looked at Jake with a smile.

" No, thanks. I need to get back home. " I explained to him. He pouted.

" Can I walk you home? " He asked, and I thought about it for a second, but I decided upon disagreeing.

----

I didn't see Khonshu that night, and I didn't want to see him ever again. I made that decision up as I was drunkenly walking home. It was past 2 am and the busses weren't running and I lived too far away from any family or friends. I couldn't even walk up to my porch without stumbling and almost falling. I reached my hand into my purse and pulled out my house keys, but before I could open the door I heard a rustling noise from a bush. I looked over my shoulder, and saw a man standing on the sidewalk in front of my house.

" Are you miss L/N? " He asked me with this voice that was as clear as day, soft as silk and sweet like honey. He was a tall man with a muscular build wearing a completely white suit. He had a little bit of a very light beard, and had brown, curly, short hair with a slit in his right eyebrow. He reminded me a lot of Khonshu. I stared at him for a moment.

" Yes? How can I help you? " I questioned, quirking my eyebrow and wondering what the fuck he was doing out here, looking for me at 2 in the morning.

" Hello, ma'am, my name is Marc Spector. I was sent by a man you might know as Khonshu. " He said, reaching his hand out for me to shake. I didn't take it. Instead, I dropped everything I had in my hand and stared at him with an agape jaw and wide eyes. Was this really him? No, it couldn't be. He wasn't real. He was just a lie Khonshu came up with to use me. There was no way this was actually the Moon Knight.

" I'm sorry, I just--do you want to come inside? " Whatever I intended to say, it wasn't this. I could have--should have told him off. But no. There I was, inviting the possible son of a man I was having sex with into my house.

" I'd love to. " He said happily. He had a completely different demenor from Khonshu. This guy seemed genuinely nice and sweet, and Khonshu was everything but nice and sweet. So I gathered my stuff and opened the door for him, letting him in first so that I could shut and lock the door behind us.

" Please, make yourself comfortable. " I said, letting him wander around as I slipped my shoes off and put them next to the door.

" And can I, like, offer you something to drink? " I asked as he sat down at the dinner table in the kitchen.

" no, thank you. " He said, putting his hand up and smiling. How was this guy so cheery? He seemed like the complete opposite of Khonshu. I couldn't help but wander how Khonshu raised him. I couldn't stop myself from staring at him with the same expression even as I sat down in front of him. I was at a loss of words.

" Are you okay? " He asked. I scoffed.

" I'm sorry, I don't know what this is, but there is no way this isn't some sort of fucked up set up by Khonshu. Marc Spector isn't a real person, theres no way he is. " I spoke, smiling through my disbelief while making exaggerated movements with my hands as I spoke. He chuckled.

" you don't have to believe me. And you certainlydont have to believe him. " He said simply, reaching into his white suit jacket and pulling his wallet out of his breast pocket. He opened it and laid it in front of me, pointing to his i.d and drivers licence in the front two pockets.

Marc Spector. born on March 9th, 1960, in Chicago, Illinois.

I looked him up and down and furrowed my brows.

" who are you? " I asked, sitting up in my chair and reaching for my switchblade in my pocket and holding it out in front of me. His eyes widened and he put his hands up.

" whoa, there missy. I'm not here to hurt you. I know what you're thinking. I'm the son of Khonshu, I must be a dick, but please just listen to me for a second. " He explained, his cheeky grin fading and his tone becoming stern. Maybe he was serious.

" I know it's a lot to believe, but I'm here to help you. I don't like Khonshu, you, and me both on that, but I heard about you through him and needed to make sure you were okay. " He said, lowering his hands and standing up from his seat slowly. I stared at him, my eyes huge with rage and now becoming watery. That's when I started crying again. My hands were shaking, and the muscles in my face started becoming tense. Everything came back to me, and the mention of Khonshus' name reminded me of everything he'd done to me. The smacks across the face I'd received, the constant texting me and begging me to come over and satisfy him. I could feel the burning of his sharp nails digging into my thighs, and my legs shook at the thought of it. I put my hand down and began to relax.

" are you really here to help me? " I asked, my voice brittle and on the verge of breaking. He stepped closer to me.

" of course I am. You know, I don't fight crime for Khonshu, I do it for the justice of the people. not for him. " He whispered, almost as if he were telling me a secret about Khonshu and were afraid Khonshu could hear him, getting closer to me and reaching his arms out for me.

" I can feel your pain. " He spoke gently as he welcomed me into a warm embrace. I almost forgot how a real hug felt. My husband had been in the hospital and was too weak with cancer to move in the slightest.

" I know what you're feeling. Khonshu finds weak people he knows are fragile, pretends he cares about them, and then breaks them until they are nothing. He did it with me, and he's doing it to you, isn't he? " He asked, his voice so soft and tender I could fall asleep to it. Tear after tear fell from my eyes, and I was starting to feel like I couldn't breathe.

" yeah. " My voice was barley audible behind my heavy crying. He nodded and pulled away from me, looking at me with the most genuine empathetic expression I had ever been given.

" I will do anything in my power to keep you protected from him. I know how he is. The second he had brought you up to me, I knew I had to help. " He promised, patting me on my shoulder and wiping my tears away. I nodded, forcing a smile onto my face.

" I have to go now. Heres my house number and address in case you need me. I have work to do. " He said, handing me what seemed to be a little business card. On the top of the white paper, it said, the midnight mission with a crescent moon replacing the ' O ' in mission. I looked up at him as he walked to my front door.

" thank you, Marc." I said through a sniffled cry. He looked at me and grinned.

" No problem. And please, call me me Mr. Knight. " And just like that he was gone. Leaving me with burning questions for the rest of the night. I couldn't sleep that night, and all i could think about was my need for somebody's genuine comfort like his.

--------------------

" You didn't do it. " I could hear him say from behind me as we walked out of her house. I scrunched my face up in anger at how difficult they were being. They'd been nagging to me about the plan all day.

" can you guys please just have patience? Things like this take time and effort. She has bad experiences with men. Just let her be for now. " I said as I pulled the mask over my head.

" I'm just saying, it'd be more fun if we just started-- "

" did you not hear anything I just said? I'm never letting her meet you guys. You guys are dirt bags. "

" yeah, sure, whatever. We'll see how that pans out. You're never able to contain us. "

-----------------------

The next morning, I went back to see my husband in the hospital. It was quiet in the room. The only audible sounds being heard were the clock ticking and his heavy breathing. He looked horrible. He had lost about six pounds, and skin around his eyes was dark, his cheekbones more defined than before.

" John. Johnny. " I called for him, shaking him very gently to see if he was still awake. He didn't move or peep a word, and i was left with silence and staring at him in his dying state. There was so much medical equipment hooked up to him. It was terrifying. His heart monitor was still going, and that made me relieved.

And then, Johnny made a movement with his hand, and I could hear a low groan come out of his lips.

" W-water. " He said, interrupting himself with a loud, heavy, wet cough. I looked around the room and saw an empty pitcher on a counter by a sink. Sink water probably wasn't the best idea, but it was something. I stood up and grabbed a paper cup from the counter and filled it up with water from the sink before rushing back to him.

" Here, " I said. " Drink. " He sat up a bit and opened his dry mouth, clamping his chapped lips onto the rem of the cup and slowly sipping out of it. He drank and dark until it was all gone, water dripping down his chin as he finished what was left. When he was for certain done with the cup, I withdrew it from his face and threw the cup away and got a paper towel to wipe off his face. I sat down in the chair next to him, and then, for a moment, I just stared at him. I remembered our history together, the day we got married, and even the bad days. like the many times we had tried to have a child, and my multiple miscarriages... And the day he was diagnosed with leukemia. A week before his diagnosis, my family had been heald for ransome. It seemed like luck was never on my side, and I was never going to be in a good situation. Johnny was my only reason for holding on. He was the light of my day, the sun to my moon. And now he was slipping away from me.

" are you feeling any better? " I asked worriedly as I watched him sitting back down. He shook his head no.

" Can you pull the sheets up? " He asked, his voice barely above a whisper and gravely. I couldn't hear most of the sentence. All I heard was " sheets up, "and that told me everything. I nodded and faked a smile, grabbing the top of his blanket and moving it up to his chest. I couldn't let him know I was so messed up over his situation.

" Is this fine? " I asked. He nodded. I sat back down in my chair and continued to stare at him. He was getting worse as the days went on. I wanted to stay with him, but I had been seeing him every day and didn't think I could take it anymore.

So, I left. I told him goodbye, and I left. This time, I smoked on my way home, angrily walking the sidewalks and turning the corners of streets as I questioned the point of anything. What truly was the point? What was the meaning of living if living was nothing but nonstop pain for me? I looked at happy couples pass by on the street, recalling the days when I was happy with Johnny. And all I could see or feel was Khonshu's fingernails scratching my skin and the disgusting things he said to me. All of my hope was gone. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be something. Maybe I could be a doctor, maybe I could be an author, maybe I could make movies, maybe I could star in movies. I'd never imagine I'd be broke at the age of 26 with a dying husband, and fucking a man for money. What a world I lived in.

I looked up at the sky for a moment. I was almost at my apartment, but I could sense something was wrong before I even knew something was wrong. There was always something wrong.

Up in the sky was a big cloud of smoke coming from the other side of an alley, which my apartment was. I sighed and cursed under my breath, put my cigarette out from the sole of my shoe, and immediately made a move to jump the wall. There was a broken chair nearby, which I used to hop over the wall with. When I hit the floor, all I could see was smoke, people running and policeman and firemen shouting. And the apartment I had been living in for a couple months, the apartment I worked so hard for, was now falling into peices under a flaming fire that was threatening to consume everything in its wake.

I ran across the grassy field and over to the crowd of policemen. I couldn't believe what I was seeing--I didn't want to believe what I was seeing.

" The hell is going on here? " I shouted, looking around frantically. When they noticed me, they were immediately telling me off.

"This is a crime scene, ma'am. we haven't caught who we're looking for. Please evacuate. " One man said, pointing to the direction away from the area. I didn't move. I couldn't process it. It took me having to be dragged off the scene to be able to actually move from my horrified state. And how was it a crime scene?

It felt like I was falling down a hole I couldn't get out of. I was stuck. Trapped. Isolated. I was constantly being stripped away from anything that made me human; from anything that was real. especially in the past couple of weeks. First Johnny, my family, Khonshu, and finally, my apartment. I didn't have family. I didn't have any friends. I was alone again. I was frightened and I was scared. How would I tell Johnny? Where would I go, what would I do? I was so scared, I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I couldn't go back to Khonshu... but then I remembered Marc.

---------

it was getting dark, and it was cold. Thankfully, he didn't live that far from me, and I was able to catch a bus. He lived in a huge, two story building in the middle of a street that was surrounded by markets, bars, and stores. The doors in the building had creasent moons painted on them. I hesitated for a moment before inhaling and knocking on the door twice. For a moment, there was silence before I heard a man groaning and a loud crash. I waited another couple of seconds before a man opened the door.

" Wha'do ya want? " He said very slowly as he reached his hand under his dirty white tank top and scratched his stomach. he was wearing a brown jacket and black leather pants, and on his jacket, he had a name tag that read, " Jake. L" on it. Wait a minute...

" Oh, hey, it's you. " He said, giving me a tiny smile. He looked tired... and drunk.

" Is Marc here? " I asked, rubbing my cold arms and slightly peeping into the building. Jake yawned and then groaned.

" yeah, whatever. just give me a minute. " He said before slightly shutting the door, leaving it a little bit open. He had a very heavy New York accent. I didn't want to evesdrop, but I faintly heard two men conversating from the other end of the door.

" something, something- did it-something, something- You're a fuckin genius! " I heard someone say over-excitedly. Another person responded with, " I didn't think it would go through-something, something-" but shortly after, the door swung open, and I was greeted with Marc rushing out of the building.

" Oh jeez, what's wrong? Are you okay? I came as soon as I heard. " He asked worriedly, leaning over the door frame with wide eyes. I shook my head.

" can I come inside? " I asked, trying not to let my voice shake. He nodded his head and held the door open wider, motioning me in. The inside of the building smelled like cinnamon, and he had a fireplace near the entrance of the door, and it was lit. I wasn't quite sure what i was looking at, but it looked like an office building. Near the fireplace, there was a couch and a coffee table. Maybe it was some sort of lounge area.

" Come sit by the fireplace. you must be cold. " He said, sitting down in front of the fireplace and patting the spot next to him. I sat down, keeping a distance between us, and watched the bright orange flames of the fire dance in the fireplace, reminding me of how my apartment had gone up in flames that very same day.

" What's wrong? " He cooed, putting his hand on my shoulder for comfort.

" my apartment. it got burned down. I'm sorry for coming here, I just--didn't know where to go. " I apologized, rubbing my arms to keep myself warm.

" It's okay, don't apologize. I told you to come here if you needed me. I'm sorry I couldn't make it in time to stop the person who burnt down those buildings. Khonshu was keeping me busy all day. " he explained, looking at me the whole time he spoke. I didn't look at him. I wondered if he could notice the scars on my arms that Khonshu gave me. I wondered if he also had scars.

" I'm exhausted. I've had a horrible day. " I sighed, rubbing my temples and curling myself into a ball. I could hear Marc humming in response. I couldn't imagine how long his day must have been too.

" Johnny... my husband, he's dying. There's nothing I can do about it. I just--i don't want to be here any more. I want to go to sleep and never wake up again. " I told him, rubbing my wet eyes, and inhaling and exhaling deeply to try and contain myself. He scouted closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

" hey, " he said. " It's going to be okay. Things are going to get better, I promise. I have been in your exact same position before. Life isn't always going to be sunshine and rainbows. I'm sure you know that by now, but I can assure you you'll see the sun finally peak through the dark, rainy clouds. " He shook my shoulders a bit as he spoke to me, and I seemingly felt comforted. I rose my head to look up at him. I never realized just how beautiful he was until I saw him as close to me as he was in that moment.

" Gosh, I feel so dirty. It was so hard walking into that hospital, knowing I was spreading my legs for another man. " I couldn't help but go back into that same self-loathing tangent again. Marc tried to hush me quietly, but I kept talking. " I don't deserve your comfort. I don't deserve anything-- "

" Don't say that about yourself - " he tried to say, but i cut him off.

" No--I can't take it anymore. Don't even bother with me. I don't even know why I'm here. I'm wasting your time. "

Marc continued to try and hush me up, but nothing he was doing was working. Then he finally decided that if I wasn't going to shut up, he was going to make me shut up. That showed when he cut off my deppressive outburst by grabbing my head and smashing his lips against mine. It was a soft but heavy kiss, and I couldn't help not following along. He put his hand on mine, and when he pulled away, he made sure to hold on tightly to my hand.

" I am not wasting my time trying to help. You deserve comfort. Whether it's from me or anyone else, you deserve to be happy and feel like you're wanted. And you are wanted. " He reassured me, squeezing my hand and looking me deep into my eyes with a strong sense of sincerity.

" You are not filthy. Never say that about yourself again. " He made sure his words were drilled into my head, his voice strong as his grip on my hand got tighter. I nodded my head, showing him I understood until he finally let go of me.

I was feeling something in my stomach I hadn't felt in a long time. There was something in the way that Marc felt genuine to me that made me drawn to him. Something in the way he had comforted me and kissed me to try and get me to stop talking bad about myself. I wondered if he was feeling the same. We had already known each other for two days, but I was drawn to him like a magnet.

" I need salvation. " I whispered, staring back into the fire. Marc grinned.

" than I am your savior. " He said, gently grabbing my chin and guiding my face towards his. He welcomed my lips back onto his and climbed on top of me, his lips moving against mine a little bit harder than last time. He ran his hands up my thighs but stopped when he felt the scars. He pulled away to examine his discovery. He flicked his eyes up, and all I could see was pure concern in his eyes.

" I won't touch you. Not if you want me to. " He said, almost getting off me before I put my hand on his chest and stopped him.

" You can touch me. " I gave him permission, looking him in the eyes and searching for any sort of sign that might have been telling me he was lying. But all I saw was worry and honesty.

" Are you sure you want to do this? " He asked, raising a brow and tracing a finger around a part of my thigh that wasn't scarred. I nodded my head.

" go easy on me, yeah? " I said nervously with a slight chuckle. He chuckled too and nodded.

" whatever you want, honey. Tell me to stop if it ever gets too much. " He said, unbuckling his belt and sliding it out of the loops of his pants. While he was working on that, I worked on taking my clothes off as well, starting from my jeans and working my way up to my top.

For once in a while, I had actually felt excited about having sex. It wasn't something I was pressured into and it was from a man I knew I could trust. But maybe I was putting too much faith into him. Maybe I was moving too fast. I did only just meet him the night before, but I couldn't help myself.

Marc didn't finish taking off his clothes. In fact, he only took his pants off. I, on the other hand, was stripped down in front of him, completely exposed and free for him to go crazy on. He looked me up and down, his mouth agape and his eyes wide.

" Do you know how beautiful you are? Seriously, i--i don't think I'm going to be able to keep my eyes off of you. " He said, pinning me back down onto the ground and spreading my legs just far enough for him to fit perfectly between them. The sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me, the sweetness of his voice, the gentleness in his manners. Everything about him is what I had been missing, what I had been longing for for so long. I couldn't remember the last time someone had called me beautiful from a genuine faint of heart. I just had to return it.

" And did anyone ever tell you how perfect you are? Seriously, Marc, I've only known you for so long, but you're incredible. " I expressed, inflicting a wide smile to appear in his face.

" You're too sweet. But please, call me Mr. Knight. I am your savior, after all. " He chuckled darkly, obviously joking around, but I knew he was serious. I crossed my legs over his hips and welcomed him in as he slowly entered me. My breath hitched, and I could already tell that I would actually be able to take him. He kissed my forehead and curled his fingers into my scalp as he pumped slow thrusts into my aching core. He rest his free hand on my knee, his lips trailing down to the crook of my neck and kissing my skin gently.

This was the most true thing I'd probably felt in such a long time. I felt alive again, I felt happy. And I wasn't about to give that up for anything. Everything that happened in that week had completely disappeared by Marc's simple caress. He was the drug the I needed. Maybe he could be my sunshine after the rain.

We were gwtting comfortable, and he picked up his pace and lifted up my leg to rest it over his shoulder so he could deepen his thrusts.

" Fuckin' hell, you're literally so gorgeous. How could someone see this and just... Throw it away? " He praised, the sweet sounds of his cock slamming in and out of my soaked pussy mixing perfectly in the thick air surrounding our hot bodies with the sounds of our moaning. He was starting to become fast, more urgent and uncontrolled as he rammed into me, making sure that I felt every last inch of him. I felt a burning in my stomach, the familiar sensation i remember from my time with Khonshu, except this time it was more intense. Marc grunted, and was able to thrust most of his length into me. I yelped and closed my eyes tightly, gasp after gasp escaping my lips.

" Marc... Can't--can't take it all. " I choked out. He growled in response.

" That's not what I told you to call me, sweetheart. " He said, grabbing hold of my jaw and squeezing my pink cheeks as my puffy lips began foaming out droll.

" Mr...Mr. Knight " I whimpered, eyes rolling into the back of my head as i found myself getting completely getting lost within the rapture of the moment. He smirked down at me.

" Yes? " He cooed in a sweet voice that said nothing but sarcasm. I felt my pussy fluttering at the mere sound of his deep voice filling my ears.

" I, I... Can't--fuh--uck " I couldn't even finish my sentence without choking on my words and losing myself to my own moans. I sounded pathetic, and I looked pathetic. I felt his grip on my jaw getting tighter, and he growled again.

" Can't what? You're going to have to speak up, honey. " He teased further, at that point just trying to get me frustrated. And I was. I was whining in response to his playful teases and i just couldn't take it. How was he able to get me so desperate?

" I can't take it all, Mr. Knight. " I cried, digging my nails into his arm. He clicked his tongue.

" If you can't take this, than it's gonna take you a lot to soften up to me. But I'm sure you can take it. " He said, " c'mon, baby, you can do it. " He raised his hand and gave my ass a hard smack, making me yelp in surprise and the skin where he slapped redden up and sting. He was killing me.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he started using his thumb to rub tiny, hard circles around my throbbing clit. I gasped and sunk my bottom lip in between my teeth, trying to prevent myself from moaning but desperately failing. I felt so tiny compared to him. His hand was bigger than my forearm, and that hand in between my legs mixed with his thick cock was more than a dream for me. Maybe it was exactly like how Khonshu had had me the other night, but this was heavenly. He wouldn't break me, and knowing that made me feel safe and content.

" look at you, taking me so well. What a good girl. " He praised, the sweetness in his voice authentic and promising. He was better at fulfilling my needs better than Johnny, and admitting to that hurt since i knew and was married to Johnny for two years and only knew Marc for two days. But something that didn't hurt to admit was that he was so much better than Khonshu. Khonshu would get you underneath him, spit on you and then kick you out of his house but Marc would be the opposite. Marc would understand you, take care of you for the night and then have you stay with him or him stay with you for the night. But even thinking about Johnny made me feel utterly guilty and ashamed, where was that sense of real guilt when all I could feel was Marcs warm cock thrashing every inch of bliss into me? He had me at the tip of the mountain and there was no coming down. Except for when you were actually coming down.

" Mister--oh, I'm gonna-- " I found myself, once again not being able to finish my sentence without feeling like there was a lump in my throat as pleasure engulfed me. Marc finally let go of my jaw and increased the speed of his fingers to match the fast pace of his cock. I tried to let hold back a moan, but ended up on choking out a loud cry.

" go ahead, honey. Jus' keep screaming like that. " He whispered, hitting a spot so deep within my core that sent me way beyond the edge. My legs jerked and I screamed. The faster he got, the more I moaned meaningless slurred curses. A chorus of helpless cries and whimpers came out of my hungry lips as I already felt myself spilling out fluids onto his shaft. He noticed and chortled.

" sweet baby, making a mess all over me. It's my turn now. " He purred, slipping out and then forcing me on my belly. He put one hand on my back and re-entered me, slipping back into that same spot he was hitting before. The hard wood floor against my face wasn't the greatest feeling, but I had felt worse. But even having my back forcibly bent and my face against hard wood floor, I was still at the tip of that mountain.

" I want to fucking tear you apart, honey. " He whispered into my ear, letting go of his hand on my back and using it to curl a fist back into my scalp. He pulled my head back and rutted into me inhumanly faster than before. He only lasted for a couple more thrusts before immediately exploding through a shaky orgasm.

For a minute there was silence... But not really because we were panting and severally tired. I couldn't do anything but stare at him, awestruck.

" I'm sorry. I got a little carried away. " He laughed nervously, also unable to keep his eyes off the mess between me. He sighed and pulled me into his arms, holding me close to him and brushing his fingers through my hair.

" I'll get you a towel or--you can take a bath, if you'd like. " He offered, pointing to his staircase. I nodded.

" I'd like the bath option. " I replied. he smiled.

" good choice. It's upstairs and the very first door on the left. There's also towels in the closet. " He told me, standing up and walking off somewhere down the hallway, presumably to another bathroom. It took me a moment to get up. Not because he fucking ruined me, but because I just couldn't believe what I had just done. It was what I believed to be the greatest fuck I'd ever had in my life, and I could not be any more happy or relieved. Even if it was from a man I had barely known.

---------

I sat on the outdoor couch outside, taking a drag from my cigarette as the boys started giggling again.

" She's hot. How did it feel? " Jake childishly asked, sounding like a friend you would have in grade school who'd ask you questions about your new girlfriend.

" Fuck off. You guys never shut up, do you? " The other one was even worse about it.

" c'mon, Marc. Think of the money we could make-- " I knew what was coming up. He mentioned it everytime I brought this woman up.

" I don't fucking care about making money. I may be an underpaid superhero, but I ain't even mad. " I joked even though it wasn't funny, resting my head back and huffing out a smoke ring. Jake was snickering.

" Exactly, you're broke. That's why you're never able to keep a stable relationship. " Jake cackled, snorting a line of coke on the coffee table. I raised my hand and smacked him in the back of his head, making him choke and cough profusely on the drug.

" you shut your manwhore mouth up. I'm never able to keep a stable relationship because of you cocksuckers. " I said, closing my eyes and finishing my cigarette. The other one groaned.

" you're such a whiney bastard. At least let us fuck her? " the other one suggested. I huffed angrily and extinguished my cigarette.

" I said no. Plus, I think she really likes me. Don't fuck this up for me or else I'll cut your dicks off. " I threatened as I got up and walked back into the house.

They stared at each other in silence for seconds.

" fuck that guy. I'm gonna fuck her. " the other one laughed as he also stood up. Jake dropped the straw he was using for his coke and stared at him in disbelief.

" in your dreams. " Jake mocked. But the look on the other ones face told him he was serious and ambitious." you'll never convince Marc. "

" maybe not, but i can force him to step down. "

---------

" Marc? " I called out from the peaked open door. I had just gotten out of my bath and realized I had forgotten my clothes. Thankfully, he responded quickly.

" do you need something? " He was at the stairs, but not peering into the room.

" yes. I forgot my clothes. " I told him, embarrassed. Then he looked at me and we very awkwardly locked eyes.

" I'll bring you pajamas or something. I don't want you wearing the same clothes to bed. " He said, not giving me a choice before walking past the bathroom and heading for a room further down the hallway. When he came back, he covered his eyes and handed me black shorts and a red sweatshirt he said could fit me. I got dressed quickly and he showed me to the guest bedroom. The second story to his house was weird. There were two bedrooms and for some reason, a small kitchen and an entertainment room. He told me he was running a mission under the name Mr. Knight, and I was one of the few people who had actually seen his face before.

" I'll wash your clothes for you, and you can sleep here until you're in a situation where you don't have to stay with me anymore. " he said lazily, pointing to the queen sized bed in the room. He seemed tired, exhausted even. I was also tired.

" and, uh... Goodnight. " He said, but before he could walk out of the room, I stopped him.

" Marc? Thank you. " I thanked with a smile. He quirked his eyebrows and then shut the door as he left.

For the rest of the night before I fell asleep, all I could think about was Johnny. I didn't even want to think about Khonshu, but all I could think about was how much I was truly missing Johnny. He didn't know my situation, and he was never going to know what my situation was. At least unless he ended up on surviving. But I couldn't help but think maybe somewhere else, there could be a universe where the both of us would be finally happy together. We could have a family and live far away somewhere quiet. But now, I had my eyes set a a bigger prize, a prize I wasn't even sure I truly wanted.

---------

" wake up, slut. "

I had awoken, but not in the way I expected to. I had waken to someone screaming in my ear and splashing my face with cold water. I was gasping for air and my body jerked like I was falling and I got violently pulled back against something hard and cold. I looked around and I found myself to be in an unfamiliar room, arms and feet tided behind something that felt like a pipe or pole. I couldn't move and I was have trouble adjusting to the dark room. Panic immediately rose in me, and I began frantically searching around for any signs of anything even though it was completely dark.

Then, a red light suddenly came on, illuminating the room and showing me I was in an empty basement with an unfamiliar person standing in front of me.

" oh my, you're even sexier up close. "' He chuckled. He looked like Marc a little, but something about him was different. He wore a black suit and his hair was combed to the side and flat with gel. Not only that but he had a completely different demeanor.

" I know you're wondering who I am, and It's a shame you don't know already. My name Is Steven Grant, and I think you'd be great in this new movie I'm making. "

• Chapter One: The Angle and the Martyr

-- end

~~~~

A/N:

Hello if you've made it this far, and thank you SO MUCH for reading. This is a revamped upload if the original up load of this I posted around march. I hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you think in the comments <3.I just wanted to take a moment just to talk about this for a second. Out of all of the fics I've made, this one was the hardest. A lot of inspiration, listening to a lot of nine inch nails and pulling all nighters to write drafts in a notebook were put into this fic. I've never thought out a fic as well as I did this one. None of my fics were beta read or edited, but this one was ( including a playlist that I had to match up songs with timelines in this chapter) I deleted this post about a week after I uploaded it. I thought it was cringe, and it is, but I realized it had potential. So I took my time these past two day, and went through everything I had wrote... five months ago and I added onto it. I don't like this chapter, but I like everything that comes after it, and I hope you guys will too.

But this is the darkest fic I've ever written, and it's only about to get more dark and fucked up. I feel like I got a bit lazy on my writing sometimes during this fic but I think it's fine. Only recently, I wanted to add an oc I had into this fic--and I know that sounds bad, but here me out. Hes another alter of Marcs and his name is Joseph Mills. He's a journalist and yada yada. I don't think he's going to be in this fic, but we'll see where the road takes us.

This chapter was originally going to be named Johnny and start with a poem foreshadowing the ending of this fic. I don't know how to fucking write poems and the ones I made ended up on not sounding good. This fic was originally going to be based off of Phantom of the Opera only. The stories are different but still similar. There was a Johnny but Johnny wasn't like.. fucking dying. Khonshu played the same role but the relationship between him and M/C was less abusive and less sex. Marc was supposed to be the Phantom and would talk the reader into killing people who " deserved it "but didn't know how to expand the story from that point on and I came up with 5 different alternatives for plots. This fic was supposed to be called Phantom Moon, White Knight, Black Knight or The Downward Spiral. I didn't know Black Knight was already a marvel character so I didn't chose that and White Knight just wasn't enough for me. I hated Phantom Moon after the first week of writing, and right before I published this I scrapped the Downward Spiral title because I didn't want to make it obvious this was inspired by the album TDS and wanted something original. I filled an entire 160 paged notebook with ideas and drafts or demos, whatever you want to call it, for this fic. I almost introduced Gena one time, but she sadly did not make the cut. I'm excited to release this next chapter. There will probably be 1-2 or 1-3 chapters. But that's about it. Cya.

Xo, Bullet

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