#not-so-much-invincible-Luther

[fncreature]

One Hell of a Day - Benthan

In which Ethan and Benji don’t talk for ninety minutes, and then say too much in the few that follow

A/N: This took. So long to write. But it was fun! I love writing them :D Also this is the first fic I’ve posted in probably a year, so… we’ll see how this goes! Enjoy!

Warnings: Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning spoilers (Fic is set after the events of the movie), Ethan & Benji might be kinda ooc, the dumbest realization I’ve ever written, badly paced imo

The silence in the car is thick and hot and absolutely insufferable.

Ethan, although he detestes it, longs for it to last. He doesn’t want to say a word to anyone, not until he’s able to compose himself- really compose himself, not so he could convince everyone else that he was alright, but to convince himself. Ilsa was gone. Grace was in Kittridge’s hands, and he was barely trustworthy. It was him and Benji, and until they got Grace back, it would be for a while. He needs the quiet. He hadn’t had a minute to breathe- or to grieve.

Benji, however, would like nothing more than to start asking as many questions as he can think of, as quickly as possible. Ethan had pressed the key into his hands, put a hand on his shoulder for a moment, and headed into the car. He hadn’t said anything to him since he’d told Ethan to literally jump off a cliff, and hadn’t heard a word since. The look on Ethan’s face set the tone for anything he needed to know and the fact that he was alone was even worse. He’s never liked the quiet, his nervous habit was to break it. It’s almost unbearable, watching him stare into the distance with his head pressed against the window like he wasn’t right there, unsure of anything that’d happened in the last half hour.

But that was Ethan, or at least that was the way he showed himself to Benji.

That is what he tells himself.

He doesn’t even know where he’s going. He just drives, taking exits every once and a while until Ethan is ready to tell him anything, anything, especially where he wants to go.  After more than an hour of driving in circles, he can’t take it anymore. “Ethan, where the hell do you want me to be going?” 

“I don’t know” He whispers, not even taking a glance towards Benji. “I don’t know. Anywhere we can rest for a night.” 

(Ethan doesn’t know what he’s doing. He has no idea where the hell to start)

He almost sounds mad. Guilty, sure. Forlorn. It’s been a hell of a day for him, Benji would admit that. It’s been a hell of a day for them both, but Ethan had jumped off a cliff. That, unquestioningly, takes the cake for having “one hell of a day”. 

He has no idea where the hell anything nearby is. They’d never go to a chain hotel, too many cameras, too many people around. Benji can’t remember the last time he’s slept in a Marriott. A motel, maybe, but he hated motels. They were unsettling. Bad things happened in motels. He much preferred when Ethan had them staying in a B&B, usually small ones in the middle of nowhere.

(Ethan likes B&Bs. They’re homey. He hasn’t had a home in a while)

Today, to Benji’s dismay, today is a motel day. Motels are unsafe, but for the most part, they are anonymous. They don’t talk to the police. They don’t remember you. Benji hates motels, but today is a motel day. He knows it.

“Could you pass me my phone?” He asks quietly. Ethan passes it over, still barely looking at him. 

He feels bad, truly. Ilsa was gone. Grace, he had no idea. Nothing good. Luther had left. He can’t imagine how hurt he feels- how hurt he is. They hadn’t had a moment to breathe in days, and if Ethan isn’t banged up at all, then he’s invincible. 

(Ethan always wishes he wasn’t)

He does a messy search for motels in the maps app and hands the phone to Ethan once a list of some nearby pops up. Part of him wonders what Ethan would even be looking for. Bad reviews? How far were they from everything? Security, or lack thereof? 

Ethan puts the phone on the dashboard. The motel is another twenty minutes away. Twenty minutes of silent hell for Benji.

(Twenty minutes of self-consolation for Ethan)

Benji wants to shatter the silence like glass. He hates it, and Ethan isn’t helping. If he’d just- if he would say anything, anything, or if he’d just… He doesn’t know what he wants from Ethan. He knows he shouldn’t expect this much from him- he’s been through so much in the past week, why can’t he let the man rest? It’s not like he wants to stop him. But he craves Ethan’s voice, Ethan’s reassurances that whatever would happen, he would handle it. He needs it. 

Today, he’d gotten nothing. He’d gotten the key to the end of the world, a hand on his shoulder, and silence. There’s nothing that’s more reassuring to him than Ethan’s comfort, even if he knows that he’s lying. He always pulls through, and he always makes sure Benji’s with him. 

He always did. He always had. He always would. He always would. Right?

It’s not over yet. They had the key, and he hoped Ethan knew what it unlocked. And he made it out visibly unscathed, which surely counted for something. But he wasn’t talking. And that… Grace wasn’t dead. She wasn’t. He knew Ethan, and he knew it messed him up when he lost someone, and he knew that he cared, maybe even too much, but…

He’d known Grace for a few days. He’d lost Ilsa and he would still speak to them, although it took him a bit. He just-

He doesn’t know. A part of him can just tell. He just knows how Ethan is, and this isn’t him grieving. Not… not newly grieving. 

He doesn’t know.

He wants to break the silence.

He doesn’t want to hurt Ethan by doing so.

Benji swallows hard, trying to swallow down his thoughts, eyes glancing up to the rear-view mirror. He tells himself to watch the road, but… He’s watching Ethan. 

(Ethan stares out the window. He can see Benji in the reflection)

His sharp eyes are slightly unfocused, staring at the scenery passing by in a blur of green and gray. His dark hair is tousled and messy, strands falling down in his face. He looks… younger, almost, head resting on the window, turtleneck up just slightly too high.  

Benji pulls into the motel lot.

He’s about to ask if Ethan wants to go in, or if he should, but he’s already getting out of the car. Benji swallows, blinking a few times, mouth open to say something but says nothing. 

His hands rest on the wheel, and when he looks down, he realizes that he’s trembling. He shouldn’t be trembling, why is he shaking? He’s not scared. He’s not scared. Why would he be scared? 

He has the key to the world as he knows it in his pocket. Why would he be scared?

(Ethan is scared)

Benji watches Ethan emerge from the office, a pair of keys in his hand. 

Its’s ironic, isn’t it? Benji has the key that is keeping them from safety. Ethan has the one that will give it to them for a moment.

Ethan steps back into the car, nodding to the left side of the parking lot, the keys jingling in his hands. He pulls the car into the farthest spot to the left, allowing Ethan to get out first and lead him to the room. Benji locks the car. Ethan leads him up the weathered and, in Benji’s opinion, flimsy stairs to the room. 

He’ll pretend that he’s fine with their room not being on the ground level. Ground level rooms were easier to escape from. He didn’t want to need to jump from a balcony, even if it was one floor up. He tells himself he’s being paranoid, but he can’t tell himself that he’s not overreacting. 

He’s with Ethan- Nothing’s safe for long. 

He unlocks the door to the room, and Benji shuts the door behind them.  Two twin beds mark either wall, a desk opposite the further bed and a small bathroom in the back on the room. The dresser’s in between the bed, and a small chair is in the corner beside the door, along with a lamp.

“Pretty shitty layout for a motel room” Benji remarks, without thinking.

To his surprise, Ethan nods. 

His heart is racing. He didn’t- and Ethan had just nodded. They stand there for a moment too long, Benji a step in front of the door, Ethan two paces in front of him, Benji staring at Ethan, Ethan staring at the wall.

Benji can’t take it.

“I- I’m going to get my laptop from the car.” He says, drawing Ethan’s eyes as he speaks, pointing back to the door before quickly rushing out of the room and down the stairs. He can’t breathe. Why can’t he breathe? His heart is going a million miles a minute. 

He’s not scared. He’s not scared. He’s not scared. He’s-

He walks to the car, still breathing hard, still shaking. Why is he scared? Why now? They’ve always been doing things like this-  He’s been in the field with Ethan since the Kremlin. They’d been working together for even longer. Whether it’d been with Brandt and Jane, or Luther, or Ilsa, he’d-

Oh.

Oh.

They were alone. With each other. This hadn’t happened before. And he was panicking out because he was alone. With Ethan. 

Oh no.

He was alone with Ethan and he was panicking because of Ethan. Because of Ethan. He was shaking and his heart was racing because of Ethan. Ethan. Ethan, who would die for his friends and had always looked out for Benji and was making his heart race for some-

Oh.

Oh.

It made sense. The unquestioning trust and unwavering loyalty- of course. He liked Ethan. The nervous blabbering, the way he found his eyes drawn to him… God. It was so damn obvious. Hindsight, as it always is, is 20/20. He liked Ethan. 

He- He didn’t- Ethan- No. He couldn’t feel that way about Ethan. He couldn’t. He was Ethan’s friend. They were friends. That was all they were and all they are and all they would be. Benji opens the backseat of the car, grabbing his laptop from where he’d set it, swallowing hard and trying to stop thinking. About everything.

He clutches the laptop to his chest and slams the car door. 

“Benji”

Ethan’s voice is hoarse and soft behind him, and almost jarring. He hadn’t heard Ethan speak for a while, and the area was nearly silent, beside the sound of cars going by.

“I- You were out here for a while. I was getting worried.” He says.

Benji blinks.

He inhales. “I’m fine, I just-” Ethan steps towards him. 

“Benji, I-” Ethan inhales, pausing for a moment, “Listen, I’m sorry about earlier, and I’m sorry for not telling you anything and making you want to leave, but…” He holds the laptop against his chest, anxious, now somehow unable to talk to him. He just- Why was it awkward now? Why was it nerve-wracking to breathe when Ethan was looking at him. It was Ethan. His Ethan, who he’d known for years. He’d never felt like this around him. Why did it need to be like this now?

“It’s fine.” Benji says. He stares down at the asphalt. “Really, I’m- I’m sure you’ve- A lot happened today. It’s fine.” 

Ethan looks away, and he knows that Ethan doesn’t believe him.

He wonders, again, how battered Ethan must be. He hadn’t thought about it since he’d landed, but- He’d told the man to drive off a cliff and parachute onto a train. He wasn’t unscathed. Ethan, although he appears as such, isn’t invincible. 

He walks a bit closer, their feet barely a foot or two away from each other. “I’m sorry. Really. And I should’ve told you about what happened earlier, so we can figure out what to do next.” What comes next? He has no idea, and if Ethan has somewhere to start, then something big happened on that train. 

(Ethan has somewhere to start. And blood stained on his hands)

“It’s- It’s okay, Ethan. I could tell the second you looked at me that something had happened. I  never expected you to be forward with me, and I’m used to it. It’s fine.” He says, trying to be honest without being too honest. Being fully honest meant telling Ethan why it wasn’t fine. 

So he isn’t. He will lie to Ethan and will continue to do so until… when? He wants to? He feels like it? One of them fucks up and he doesn’t have any other choice?

It’ll probably be the latter.

“Benji. Benji. Just be honest with me, yeah? If you’re- If you don’t want to do this, if you can’t handle this, it’s okay. I’m- This is the weight of the world on our shoulders, and if you don’t want that, it’s okay.” Ethan says earnestly, in a way that makes Benji’s heart jump in a way that should be dangerous. 

What if he said no to Ethan? If he told him it was too much for him? He wouldn’t, of course- he couldn’t. Leaving Ethan, grieving, with the weight of the world on his shoulders and being hunted by most governments, by himself would be like shoving him off a cliff. 

But knowing Ethan, he’d manage to catch himself and climb back up.

He shouldn’t feel like this. He shouldn’t want to leave, and he shouldn’t want to kiss Ethan in the middle of an empty parking lot with the weight of the world on their shoulders. He shouldn’t be imagining what Ethan’s lips taste like. Ethan’s his colleague and his friend and nothing more than that.

“Of course not. I can handle myself.” He knows the words are coming out of his mouth already, but he doesn’t know if he’s lying or not. 

“You’re shaking.” Ethan notes with the slightest tilt of his head. 

He’s got to laugh this off. He’s got to laugh this off. “I’ve got the most dangerous object in the world in my back pocket, Ethan, I don’t know what you’d expect.”

Perfect. Perfect. That sounded like him, it was logical, it was perfect. He was not going to accidentally confess that he liked Ethan. He could not, would not, and should not. 

He raises an eyebrow. “You were sitting on that thing while you were driving?” Benji stifles a laugh. He shrugs, trying to keep himself from smiling. It’s… It’s funny. The thing itself wasn’t even dangerous, but it’s power was immense, and he was sitting on it for ninety minutes in a rental car. 

Ethan glances to the ground, a smile hinting at the edges of his lips, brow raised. “Do you want me to take it?” 

“Oh, absolutely.” He slips the golden key out of his pocket, the white and red gems on each half glinting in the gently fading light. Benji outstretches his hand to him, turning slightly to set his laptop on the roof of the car.

Benji would like nothing to do with the key. The smartest thing to do would be throwing the thing to the bottom of the ocean, but… Well, it almost already had been. He holds out the key to Ethan, who, after a moment of staring, gently takes the key from Benji’s hand, fingers lingering in his hand for a second too long. He closes his hand around the key and tucks it in his back pocket.

Benji raises an eyebrow, and Ethan shoots him a warm smile. He’s not thinking about Ethan’s smile anymore, though. He’s thinking about his hands, the soft touch of his fingers as he’d taken the key. He’d always made a habit of glancing at Ethan’s hands after a fight- he’d never admit it, but it was his way of telling how bad things had gone without him seeing or needing to ask. Bruised knuckles were essentially nothing. But there were times when he’d see Ethan’s hands littered with cuts and scrapes from falling, bruises all along his hands, and he wouldn’t say anything, but put bandages and something for his inevitable pain where Ethan would find it. 

Today, Ethan’s hands were littered with tiny cuts absolutely everywhere, his knuckles bruised. He assumes broken glass. But he won’t push. 

For the second time in this conversation, he has no idea what to say. It’s unlike him, it always has been, and he knows Ethan knows that, too. He doesn’t even think before the words spill out of his mouth, “You should get some rest.” He looks up from the pavement. “You should, too. We’ve gotta be ready for what comes next.”

Again, Ethan brings up the future. Benji wishes he wouldn’t. It would be so much easier not to think about Gabriel or Grace or Ilsa, or the key he’d handed to Ethan moments ago, or how the world's governments would kill them to get it. It would be so much easier to tell Ethan a simple I love you and kiss him against the car until they weren’t thinking about anything but each other. 

God, it would be easier.

And god, would it be cowardly. And Benji Dunn is not a coward. He’s not. He is so many things, but a coward is not one of them.

No matter what he tells himself.

He’s not a coward, but he is scared. He is absolutely scared. He sighs, opening his mouth to say one thing before deciding on another:

“What does come next, Ethan?” 

 He looks so unsure, a crease forming in his brow that Benji has known to recognize when Ethan was left speechless. He’d never done it. Honestly, it was cute.

So he continues, not thinking of where his words are going before he says them. “I don’t know what happened back there, and frankly, if it doesn’t provide some new, life-altering information, I don’t think I want to know. So tell me, Ethan, what the plan is. I will blindly follow you to the ends of the earth if you need me to, and I won’t even be surprised anymore. But I trust you, and I hope you know that you can trust me, so just tell me what you want to do. I’ll do it. I’ll do it.” 

He’s never seen a look like this on Ethan- It’s a mix of confusion and disappointment, sadness and some form of grief. He’s completely speechless, just looking to the ground near Benji’s feet.

God, he wants to kiss him.

Ethan swallows, letting out a breath, speaking hoarsely. “You shouldn’t.” (Grace did. Ilsa did. Julia did. He didn’t want Benji to.)

He doesn’t know what else to say, other than, “Why?” 

“It just gets people hurt, Benji. Or killed. I- I won’t let that happen to you.” He spits bitterly, still unable to meet Benji’s eyes. 

His heart races. “I will follow you to the ends of the earth, Ethan, if you want me to or not. If you need me, I will be there, whether you want me to be or not. I trust you, and there is very little you can to to sever that, Ethan, because-” He stops himself just in time. Because I love you. Because he loves him. There is no other word to describe the way he feels about Ethan Hunt. And he was about to fuck it all up, by telling him this. 

“Because?” Ethan asks, finally looking up, but still not at him. 

Benji swallows. Because he’s Ethan’s friend? Because he trusts him more than anyone? Because the bond they have is built on years of trust and trauma and everything that can’t be put in words? “Because I love you,” Is still the thing that slips out of Benji’s mouth, no matter how much he doesn’t want to say as such. 

Ethan doesn’t say a word, locking eyes with Benji as he takes another step forward, hand moving to rest on Benji’s shoulder.

And then he’s being kissed, hard, one of Ethan’s hands making its way to his back as the other remains on his shoulder. And then he’s kissing back, feeling Ethan’s chapped lips on his own as he leans forward into the agent. Benji’s hands move onto Ethan’s chest and around his waist, his warm cheeks crashing into Ethan’s as his breathing goes a million miles a minute. 

He’s been kissed before, but never like this. This was what it was supposed to be like, when people described it in stories and movies. His previous kisses had been quick and messy and nothing like this. This was warm and perfect and something that meant so much more, and as they separate for breath, all Benji can do is stare into his green-blue eyes. 

“We- I-” He tries to say something but it doesn’t come out right. “We should go inside. Safer. More private.” 

He just wants to kiss Ethan again, but doesn’t protest. He’s right, of course, but they stand there frozen for another moment, wrapped in each other’s arms, until Ethan moves his hand back up to Benji’s shoulder and lets out a light breath, accompanied by a smile. 

Benji presses another peck to his lips. 

“Inside” Ethan presses, grabbing the laptop from the top of the car behind them, and Benji grabs it from his hands and pulls him up the stairs, watching him pull the key to their room and open the door. The brunette pulls him through the doorway and kisses him against the door, pushing his head back and forcing the laptop against his chest for a moment until Ethan stops suddenly.

“Did you lock the car?” 

“No,” Benji laughs, but he just wishes that Ethan would shut up and kiss him again. He fishes through his front pockets and produces the key, and Ethan takes it from his hands and lets Benji move from the door before stepping out to the front overhang to lock the car. Meanwhile, Benji grabs a cup of water and fills it up, sipping it carefully, trying to slow his racing heart.

Ethan looks at him from the doorway, sunset fading beautifully behind him, smiling. “Geez, we’ve had one hell of a day, haven’t we?”

Benji smiles, setting the glass down and pushing the door shut, kissing Ethan again.

#Benthan #Benji x Ethan #Benji Dunn x Ethan Hunt #Benthan fic #Benji dunn #Ethan hunt #mission impossible dead reckoning #fun tibit- the og ending for this fic was to replace the last line with ‘Benji chokes on his water’ and that would be the end. fyi. #god ive never posted for this fandom so I hope this is ok. #could I have absolutely made this a ‘there was only one bed’ fic? yes. did i? no. have restraint #creature writes

[number5theboy]

you said in a previous ask that if s2 had built on s1 better than the show would have been better. have you ever posted what you think needed to be different in s2? if not would you be willing to?

Oof. So much. This is not like. a full plan of how I would've done s2 differently, but it's just some character things I would've done differently for the siblings. Don't take this too seriously, it's just me spitballing, and this isn't a full re-write, it should have more structure to be that.

But also, overall ground rules.

no amnesia

no romance

no paradox psychosis

no infinite switchboard

no Handler

Viktor does not cause the apocalypse. Diego does.

Let me elaborate by just going through the siblings and where I would've taken them to build on s1.

Luther & Viktor: Putting these two together because that's what I would've done. Keep them together. Luther was holding him going into the portal, I think it would've been really interesting to have these two end up together in the 60s. Viktor should've been unconscious when they arrived (for like. the first episode) because then Luther would have had to make the choice to either protect him or leave him, and the choice to keep him close, the only familiar person around, someone he just betrayed and who just tried to kill him. Someone who ended the world. It would've been interesting to see them work through everything instead of Luther's character development happening off-screen and his apology to Viktor losing meaning because Viktor did not remember anything, they should've worked things out together. Luther gets the time to reflect on his actions and Viktor wakes up to Luther, despite everything, caring for him. This should at some point evolve into a 'Viktor develops his powers'-montage where they use Luther's near-invincibility, he can be tossed around without hurting that much.

Klaus & Ben: Lose the cult, keep the Dave. I haven't thought that one through much, I just hated the cult storyline that went nowhere, but I did really like him trying to save Dave, it was a good storyline. I also think he should've developed his powers more there, because Klaus was sober through his stay in the 60s, so ghosts would have bothered him more, and he should've worked to keep them under control. I keep oscillating between 'this is how Reginald factors into the story, Klaus goes to him for help' and 'no way Klaus and Ben would go to Reginald, Ben becomes an impromptu teacher and that's how their relationship deteriorates'. This one needs workshopping, but I feel like trying to save Dave from dying + becoming more familiar with death as two cornerstones of Klaus' arc would be super fun to explore. Also he doesn't keep Ben away from everyone else, I reckon, but I would have to actually figure out how the season would go to figure out how and why. Something about Klaus getting better at controlling his powers and thus summoning Ben, him having the possibility to interact with the world for the first time in decades and wanting his independence but not being able to get it because he's been dead this entire time, he can never be away from Klaus...it'd be interesting.

Allison: Full disclosure, I really do love Ray, but I said no romances, so. I think it was a missed opportunity to not double down on Allison and sisterhood after s1 and have her form a meaningful relationship with Odessa and the other black women at the salon she worked at. Have her throw herself into community organising and resistance and build other women up after a lifetime of using her powers for selfish reasons. Have it hurt her too, because it makes her think about her daughter and how she will never be able to watch her grow into a strong woman, but at least she can try to build a better world for all of them, but especially for her. And there's the thing with the civil rights plotline either way, I just don't think that TUA as a show does not have the depth or the intelligence to do justice to this real movement, it will always kind of feel like a prop, so I don't think there truly is a way to do it justice, or if there is, someone please tell me. I do think they should've let her be angry at Viktor in s2 already, none of that forgive and forget crap, she was seriously injured, almost lost her life and then was thrust into an environment hostile to her mere existence as a black person, she should've been at least resentful by that point. I would've loved to see a confrontation between her and Viktor, she should've been allowed to express her hurt and it should've taken time for them to be buddy-buddy again. So at some point her storyline should flow into that of Luther and Viktor, but yeah. It'd need some more fleshing out but this is the general idea of where she'd start.

Diego: Alrighty. Instead of playing off Diego's hero complex and obsession with saving JFK as a joke, I think the show should've played it straight. Let him cut off Lee Harvey Oswald's trigger finger. Let him use his ability to deflect bullets to foil and attempts of assassination on the president and save the life of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. But not enough that they don't notice that there has been an attempt on the president's life. The FBI find a way to blame the Russians for this. Boom. Nuclear Armageddon. There's the apocalypse for the season. I wish s2 would have explored Diego's deep-seated need to prove himself, to leave his mark on history as someone who rights wrongs, who saves lives, more seriously, because him being a vigilante, rejecting his father but still trying to be a hero like he raised them to, was so integral to who he was in s1 and I wish they'd explored this in more depth. Also the story beat of trying to do something right that then has massive bad consequences would be on par for this show, I think it would have been really cool to explore. Especially since one of the main plot threads in that season would have been to stop Diego from fulfilling the destiny he set out for himself, make him defy that hero complex, which leads me to

Five: By god, they should have let him orchestrate the JFK assassination like he deserved to. Instead of pointlessly chasing after the apocalypse for a second time in a row and getting world's lamest made-up disease for no reason, they should've made it that he tries to figure out what causes the apocalypse this time around, only to be interrupted by AJ, who wants to recruit him. The thing is that someone keeps foiling the assassination of JFK and no matter how many snipers they sent there to take care of it, nothing helps (as we find out later, the certain someone responsible has bullet-redirecting abilities). And since there is no infinite switchboard in this, someone has to solve this the old way and figure out a foolproof way to kill the president. And so the Commission comes crawling back to Five, who realises that the assassination must happen to avert the apocalypse. So instead of making a deal to kill the Commission board in exchange for going back to 2019, he promises the orchestration of the JFK assassination - we get him trying to plan to foil what he doesn't know is his own brother, but once he does know, that throws another spanner into the works, because he doesn't want to kill Diego. We could have had some really good character exploration similar to the comics where he despises that the Commission has roped him back in, that he keeps having to do things he despises to have a chance at a normal life, and it would've made for some excellent interpersonal drama between him and Diego. I don't even know how this would resolve except for the fact that, you know, JFK bites it. Maybe Five ropes in his other siblings, or his old self. Maybe Reginald's real reason for unadopting them is that he wanted Kennedy alive, and they're the ones who killed him. I just think this would've been a much more interesting exploration of both Diego and Five.

And this is all just spitballing. This is not really a coherent re-write or adjustment. It doesn't take into account that there definitely should be other characters in this. I really did love Elliott, and Lila is a great addition to the cast and should be crow-barred into this somehow. How do all of these storylines converge? How much, if even, should Reginald factor into this? But those are the first ideas that I have to make s2 more coherent with the themes of s1.

#Replies #Anonymous

[jellybeanium124]

The Hargreeves & Healing Factors

I HC that all of the marigold children have a super-human healing factor, but they don’t all work the same way.

Luther: Luther seems to have a regular super healing factor (considering he seemed awful concussed in 3.01 but was fine in the next episode), and a bonus toughness/invincibility ability that he has to willingly activate, based on the “My Way” sequence in 2.01.

Diego: Diego and Five are the two that seem to have the fastest/best healing factor, based on how quickly Diego healed from being shanked and having his fingers cut off.

Allison: I think Allison has the slowest healing factor of the Hargreeves. It took a year for her voice to completely heal. She probably does still have some super-healing abilities given that she survived the injury in the first place, and her voice is completely back to normal, but I’m not a doctor.

Klaus: Klaus has an ultra-fast healing factor, but it only works after he dies. If he just gets a regular, non-fatal injury, his healing is equal to that of a normal adult.

Five:  Like I mentioned before, Five seems to have one of the best healing factors in the show. We’ve all seen the posts that list all his injuries.

Ben: Ben hasn’t gotten beaten up a lot in the show thanks to being a ghost for most of it, so it’s hard to tell. In 3.10 though, he got a tentacle or two cut off, and while it hurt, he was still functioning normally up until the sigil stuff & the reset.

Viktor: Viktor’s healing factor seems to be about average for the Hargreeves, considering he had that cut on his cheek for several days. Like Ben, we don’t see him get hurt that much in the show so it’s a bit harder to tell. He did also walk off a major LSD trip like it was nothing, though.

If I had to order them from strongest to weakest healing abilities (excluding Klaus because his mechanics are so different), I would go: Five, Diego, Luther Ben, Viktor, Allison.

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua s3 spoilers #tua s3 #tua season 3 #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #tua theory #tua theories #tua headcannon #tua hc

[fantasticangelrebel]

SPOILERS FOR THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 3 AHEAD:

Okay, so I've seen a lot of posts and comments arguing whether or not Reginald planned on betraying Allison or not, so I figured I'll give my take on it.

So, we all know how Reginald put great effort to help Klaus master his abilities, which made his decision to leave him behind in the end very weird. Here's the thing, he WAS going to bring Klaus along. He trained him so he would help defeat the guardians. He molded him into an invincible weapon. He wouldn't have put so much effort in training him from the goodness of his cold, dead heart. He needed Klaus. So, why did he betray him then? It's simple. Reginald planned on having Allison bring the family together with the help of Klaus and for them to go to Oblivion. Unfortunately, that as we know didn't go as planned, so he had to kill Luther to do that. Now, here's the problem, with Luther dead, Klaus could easily talk to him and find out about what Reginald did and he couldn't have that. That's what he meant with the whole: "you're more trouble than you're worth". Klaus was worth a lot, but having his secret discovered was something he couldn't risk and that was why he left Klaus behind. So, in the beginning, he planned on having Klaus there, which would mean that Allison wouldn't have had to be a part of the machine. After Klaus and Luther were both gone, Reginald would have had to sacrifice Allison, but didn't after Klaus appeared.

So, in short: Klaus should've came with them (along with Luther), Allison would've been spared and gotten the life she bargained for. Reginald's last minute decision of killing Luther led to him leaving Klaus behind, leaving no space for sparing Allison. The tables turned when Klaus appeared, leading to Allison being excessive yet again and voila.

P.S. This is obviously just my opinion.

@alec-not-alright-wood what do you think?

#tua #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #the umbrella academy season 3 #the umbrella academy theory

[lunannex]

A little detail that I love about Allison’s characterization that people don’t really talk about is the fact that she’s always quick to point out how unfair things are. And it’s mostly because I don’t think any of the other siblings express this as explicitly as she does. These are just the instances that I remember, but let me know if I missed any:

S1: when Viktor walks in on the family meeting the others were having without them, he’s reasonably upset. Especially when Allison tells him that it’s “a family matter” (honestly, very poor word choice on her part lmao). He tells Allison that he’s been left out of everything for as long as he can remember, even when all she’s been trying to do since the start of the season is make amends so that Viktor finally feels like part of the family. I think Viktor’s words make Allison feel like he’s refusing to acknowledge how hard she’s been trying to be the sister that he’s always deserved.

S2: when Luther goes to get Allison after Five gets the briefcase from the Handler, he tells her that they have to return to their timeline if they want to guarantee the safety of the entire world. That would mean leaving everything Allison has spent two years building, but in the end, she’s forced to make a difficult decision – even when there’s this voice in her head that tells her that something’s bound to go wrong.

S3: her fear of losing everything end up becoming a reality. She leaves her husband in the hopes of reuniting with her daughter, but she ends up losing both. This causes her to slowly regress into the person that she used to be before everything. She’s in a dark place and she’s grieving and it feels like everything’s falling apart and all her worst nightmares have come true, so it’s no wonder that she gets upset when her siblings are being so nonchalant about everything she’s had to sacrifice.

Like, taking everything we know about Allison into account, it makes so much sense. She has so much pride and she’s not used to losing. She’s not used to failure because that was never an option before. She has the ability to manipulate reality to her will, she shouldn’t HAVE to be going through hardship after hardship, but even her powers have a limit. She’s not as invincible as she thought she was when she was younger, and that means that, no matter how much she tries, things won’t always go her way. I think that’s something really hard for her to accept. It’s something that she CAN’T accept. Because if she’s going to end up losing anyway, why even bother trying to be a good person? What’s the point? Why do they have these powers if they’ve done nothing but hurt them? Why can’t the world see all her efforts and just let her have a happy ending? Ugh, I just think it’s all so interesting. I love her so much.

#luna talks #allison hargreeves #tua #the umbrella academy #my queen #she! #you can count on me to focus on the TINIEST details and make entire essays about them #like the fact that she was in a soccer team once????????? i don’t get it how did that happen #she’s so sksksks

[conduitandconjurer]

what is the saddest klaus moment in your opinion?

Let’s begin with this image, and contemplate WHY Klaus is SO happy (no, it’s not just because he feels safe and invincible, it’s deeper): 

He thinks he’s onto something about himself. Keep reading. 

I don't think I can narrow it down to a single moment so much as all the moments that demonstrate a single concept:

What I still find so sad about Klaus is that he is still so desperately yearning for praise and validation from a loved one, even by the end of Season 3, that he will stay in, or even actively seek to regain, relationships with family that have proven to hurt him, and even traumatize him, deeply. (Since someone asked me this, this desperation for praise and validation, for a reassurance that he has a reason to even exist at all, is also, btw, why he's desperate to seek out his birthmother, but we'll get to that in another post). He needs to know he's more than the "lookout." He needs proof that all he has to look forward to is not further partings, losses, "goodbyes":

Klaus seeks out an alternate timeline Reginald because, despite his highly accurate, contemptuous dismissals of Reginald in Season 1 ( "he hated kids too but sure had a lot of us," "I bet you're really enjoying this [of watching Luther and Diego come to blows at Reginald's funeral], "we were just kids," etc), Reginald still symbolizes, embodies, Klaus's first (remembered) caretaker, and the many disciplines of developmental psychology tell us that you form your schema about how the world works (socially, psychologically, culturally, etc), about how attachments between two people work, about where and how you measure self-worth, from your first caretaker (usually a parent). With Reginald's inevitably abusive actions, Klaus is therefore still willing to put up with what he KNOWS will hurt him, and he goes from this, announcing his reason for seeking Reginald's counsel:

to this, where he is being painfully killed and resuscitated over and over, but that desperate for a sense of purpose and worth that he is HAPPY about what it might gain him:

and finally, after that same person who is his source of validation abandons him the moment his usefulness becomes an inconvenience ( "You're just more trouble than you're worth," ), to this ( image by @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky: )

Please pause to contemplate the tragedy of that statement. Klaus believes that he is a "loser and a freak, making mistake after mistake," not because of all the bad things that were done to him by others, but because something INHERENT to him DOES NOT BELONG IN THE WORLD OF THE LIVING AT ALL. He BELIEVES that! As of the final episode in the season!

And he only snaps out of it (and, I believe, only partially) because he wants to help his family.

This is also why Klaus seeks out Sparrow!Ben when he knows that logically, he is an entirely different being than the guy Klaus grew up with, the guy that lampreyed onto the Klaus-shark and, in desperation, took advantage of Klaus's powers to stick around their family indefinitely after dying (I don't blame Ben for this, but it surely did nothing to contradict that Klaus is only good for things involving his death-powers, more on that in a second). But, even though Klaus and Ben became virulently codependent by Season 2, with terrible mutual mistreatment, Klaus still sought Ben out AGAIN because even toxic codependency is a better buffer to total solitude and perceived uselessness than being completely alone. And, of course, Klaus always felt that being an open channel to the beloved dead brother would be his trump card to remain useful enough for the family to keep Klaus around. Ben was, is, Klaus's security, his "at least I can do THIS right," when he believes that otherwise he will disappear unnoticed.

I know no one wants to hear this because Klave is such a popular ship, but it’s also why Klaus kept trying to come back to save Dave from his own future in S2.  Even when Dave was closeted and dealing with internalized homophobia, even when Dave rejected him twice and it ended up getting Dave enlisted sooner. Because Dave was the first person outside of Klaus’s family to give Klaus evidence that he was “worth the trouble.” 

Finally, I fully believe this is the only reason why Klaus ran off with Luther at the end of Season 3, instead of one of his historically closer siblings, like Diego or Five. Luther--albeit in ways I find problematic--was the ONLY sibling throughout the entire Kugelblitz to give Klaus that earnest praise: "You're the King of Death, brother, and I believe in you." He’s not the only sibling to be NICE to Klaus--Diego and Five both were, too--but he IS the only one to offer words of affirmation.  Did Luther also behave not-so-well to Klaus during that same scenario? Yes. Did Klaus forgive it and stumble over himself to go after Luther? Also yes.

See the self-destructive pattern? And the tragic irony that Klaus keeps doing the same thing SEEKING TO HEAL?

-------

It has been said that Klaus has an "addictive personality," and that when he can't get addicted to a substance, he switches to ideas and people instead. That is certainly true, but I think his "addiction" to Reginald and Ben is also proof of an underlying need to be valued for something that is intrinsically KLAUS, and no one else.  

It is not so much that Klaus can’t help getting addicted to things (that is also, to an extent, true), so much as that Klaus is simply human, and starved for acceptance. 

What's saddest of all is Klaus is WAY MORE than Death. He's the DOORWAY between the living and dead, the unusually permeable osmotic barrier of spirits. I can’t remember who, but someone recently had a BRILLIANT observation here on Tumblr that every time Klaus spends a little longer in the Void after dying, he brings a little more color (LIFE) to what was black and white. His powers go BOTH WAYS. 

And he still doesn't realize that (even after impaling himself on the buffalo horn to escape the Kugelblitz) because even the rare times he's valued for who he is and what he can do, everyone is focused on "you're Death and dying and ghosts!" Same deal with the scene in the graveyard where he nuked all those ghosts to please Reginald. Right now Klaus's self-esteem is a cycle of trauma because his trauma was BORN in his powers (thanks again Reginald!) so any time he uses them solely to deal with ghosts and death, it just cycles back to the source of his substance abuse, PTSD, self-thwarting habits, people pleasing passivity, etc etc. Klaus needs to learn he is MORE THAN WHAT HE CAN DO FOR OTHERS, MORE THAN DEATH.

And while I HATE the "oh noes we lost our powers" trope in any storyline, MAYBE, just MAYBE, Klaus will be allowed to learn what more he is and can be when he has no choice but to put ghosts and immortality on hold.

#meta #Klaus Hargreeves

[stardustinyoureyes]

Unnecessarily Long S3 Trailer Analysis

Read more cause of spoilers

General thoughts:

APOCALYPSE NUMBER 3, HERE WE GO!!!

Honestly think that every season is going to be about stopping the apocalypse, and you know what? I'm fine with that.

PERFECT song for the trailer, 10/10

I love how they are referring to the Umbrellas and Sparrows as siblings straight out of the gate, let them be a big happy family!!

The Sparrows seem less intense in the trailer than they have been in the rest of the promotional material. Like, we see them grooving, we see Marcus going to a diner with Viktor, we see them getting beat by the Umbrellas multiple times. I like it. Seeing them as actual people and not invincible, emotionless superheroes drives home how Reginald fucked up yet another group of literal children.

Klaus, ending up in an alternate timeline that is going to be destroyed in less than a week: It's a tits-out kind of look.

Seriously, I don't think he has a single outfit with a closed, full-length shirt, and you know what? Valid.

I wasn't sure whether Fei's power was turning into birds or controlling them, this trailer confirms it's the latter

Looks like Lila joins up with them early on. GOOD. SHE'S A PART OF THE FAMILY NOW.

The dickhead moment...iconic. Peak sibling energy. I love them so much.

Various things that caught my eye:

Younger!Reginald, this might be a scene about when he first came to earth and it'll explain their origins a little bit

FIVE'S FUCKING FISHING OUTFIT. Amazing. Five toasting their untimely demise. Amazing. Klaus's outfit. Amazing. Dear God I want to have brunch with the two of them.

Blood bag that gets blown up by the kugelblitz. I'm guessing someone gets severely hurt and ends up in the hospital. Honestly could see it being an Umbrella or a Sparrow. I've seen a few people theorizing that one of the Sparrows will die, idk if I agree but I can definitely see one of them almost dying. Maybe one of the episodes will end in a cliffhanger where it looks like someone's going to die, but then they don't, like with Allison in S1.

Had to zoom in so this pic is pretty blurry, but that person is definitely wearing a hat. So this is Klaus getting attacked by Ben during their first encounter. Fun.

Five being the one to punch Ben in the face...he'd do anything for his siblings, including hurt another sibling.

Love Fei just chilling, watching Luther getting the shit beat out of him. Icon. It looks like Marcus's power is literally the exact same as Luther's, since I don't think he'd be able to punch Luther out if he didn't have super strength too. Maybe it'll turn out there's another aspect to it, but for now it seems like they're the same. Imagine having the most generic superpower out of all of your siblings and being like "well at least I'm the only one with the power" and then finding out that someone else has your incredibly basic power too. I'd be so pissed. F in the chat for Luther.

Pretty sure this is the basement that Marcus was in from that one still. Was the thing he looking at this weird-ass ball? Also, is that a framed picture of Marcus in the bottom left corner? Is this basement his playroom or something??? He just goes down there to hang out and ends up encountering a fucking Gastly-looking ball of electricity?? Okay.

What the dog doing? Oh, right, dissolving into a pile of ash. Okay. Also apparently being a concierge or something at the Hotel Oblivion.

(I fucking swear, if they bring in Mr. Pennycrumb to just kill him off, I will be so pissed.)

DIEGO AND LILA FIGHTING BACK TO BACK HELL YES A WIN FOR THE BISEXUALS!!! THEY'VE LITERALLY GOT EACH OTHER'S BACK!!!! LET THEM KICK SOMEONE'S ASS TOGETHER!!!

MARCUS'S FACE LMAOOO. Luther makes some of the best faces out of all of them, I'm glad to see Number 1 in this timeline is the same way.

Also, absolute king shit from Viktor. The growth.

Viktor in S1: *Apologizes for breathing*

Viktor in S3: Fuck you, you wish you were me.

More pics in reblog...lots more...

#the umbrella academy #tua #tua s3 spoilers #tua s3 #they posted the trailer today for my birthday how kind of them

[paperpocalypse]

white rabbit.

50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”: 2. Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,874 words

Warnings: Swearing, panic attack

His idiot siblings are going to give him a goddamn aneurysm.

The hum of the Commission briefcase – which is now in 2019 without a single person attached to it – rings in Five’s ears, mocking. He resists the urge to scream and tear all of his hair out. All that work – wasted!

“Now what?” Luther asks as Five paces up and down the alley.

What do you think, you doorknob? “Now nothing, Luther, all right? Make your peace with God.”

“What? What about Allison and Vanya?”

“Screw them both. They should have been here.” Five’s irritated pacing turns into a run, and he furiously kicks a cardboard box. God, the alley smells like vomit and shit. Everything is shit! “Ugh!”

“What about Diego?” Klaus slurs out his two cents from his place on the ground. Useless puke bag. “He's quite a responsible young man, no?”

“Something must’ve happened to them,” says Luther.

Fuck that. Wherever they are, they’ll be dead soon enough. Does nobody understand that? Dead! Dead! Dead!

“Screw Diego, all right? Screw everybody!” Five seethes. “[Y/n] and I were better off in the apocalypse.”

He turns on his heel, trying to suppress the rising panic in his bones. Something catches his arm.

Your brow is furrowed when he meets your gaze, mouth set in a thin, worried line. “Five,” you murmur, voice soft.

A tiny sting of regret worms its way into his chest at your expression. But then he thinks of the briefcase, and the Handler, and he quickly looks away.

“Five!” Luther admonishes, casting you a concerned glance. “Come on.”

His brother’s tone grates on the last of Five’s nerves. Gritting his teeth, he advances on the large man. Your hand slips away.

“You know what, Luther? It's every sibling for himself now.” Five throws his arms out in a grand gesture, then makes his way over to the door. “How ’bout that?”

Yanking the door open, he storms into the building.

Five tries to think as he stomps up staircase after staircase, but he can’t hold onto a thought for more than a few seconds before it disappears into a muddle of static. Concentrate. He just needs to get to the flat and think of a new plan, yeah, again, and try to save the world for the millionth fucking time – he stumbles over a step and then rights himself, legs numb. His chest feels tight. Come on. Keep moving. Think, think! God!

You’re calling his name. He doesn’t answer.

There is another way. A Hail Mary. But what if they waste that last chance too?

He swears underneath his breath, heart pounding. Blood roars in his ears. He tightens his grip on the railing and tries to even out his breathing.

Shit. Now is not the time. He needs to get out of this stairwell. Everything is so cramped and it’s not helping at all –

“… Five.”

You’re behind him, and then you’re in front of him, and Five meets a blurry set of eyes for the second time. Breathe. Breathe.

“Do you want to go back outside?” you ask softly.

No more stairs. “Flat,” he manages to reply, gesturing messily at the door a few feet away. Just somewhere with some space. In. Out.

You nod.

Several minutes later, he’s sitting on the bed in the room that Elliott had given him, blazer folded over the footboard, face damp with sweat and tucked into the crook of your neck as he completely breaks down.

Your hands treat him gently, rubbing circles into his back and wiping his face. He grips your shirt until his knuckles are white.

“You can get through this,” you say to him. “Just breathe with me, okay?”

Five tries. He really does. A shudder wracks his body. You inhale. He inhales. Exhale. Exhale.

“Good job.”

Something wet runs down his cheek. Fuck.

Both relief and shame fill him when you dry his cheek with your sleeve.

It’s absolute shit, however long it lasts – Five doesn’t know how long. Too long. But you’re there the whole time, holding him like you’ve done before, and it helps even though he’s too embarrassed to admit as much. You help a lot.

As the hammering in his chest finally slows to dull thuds, he takes in another deep, slow breath, and loosens his grip.

“I’ll get you some water?” you ask. He moves his head in some semblance of a nod. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Carefully, you detach yourself from him; the mattress creaks as you stand up and leave. Five swallows, staring down at his hands. The air feels slightly chilly on the side of his face that had been pressed against you, and he uses the comforter to quickly scrub away the dampness. His eyes ache.

You return soon enough with a glass of cold water. He sips slowly at first, then gulps the rest of it down. You put the empty glass onto the nightstand and brush his hair away from his eyes.

“You need to rest.”

The word brings a brief wave of longing. Then stress follows soon after, and Five steels himself. “I need to come up with another plan,” he mutters.

Even though he’s not looking at you, he feels the sudden burn of your gaze as you put your hands on his shoulders. “After you rest.”

“The apocalypse –”

“Is still a few days from now.” Your words take on a honeyed, coaxing tone. “There’s not much else we can do today, so sleep. Please. I’ll take care of things while you’re away.”

You press down, and despite his previous protest, Five doesn’t resist.

“… Thanks,” he vaguely hears himself mumble.

When his head touches the pillow, it feels as if all his muscles give way. His eyelids immediately feel heavy.

The last thing he’s aware of is you taking off his shoes.

—

Five is thoroughly conked out by the time you pull the blankets over him, and after giving his forehead a tender peck, you tiptoe out of the bedroom and shut the door with a quiet sigh.

Now on to business.

The rest of the Hargreeves siblings, as well as Sissy and Harlan Cooper, sit up slightly as you stride into the living room. You make a point of looking at each one of them individually, cross your arms, and then speak.

“I believe explanations are in order.”

Diego is the one who speaks first. “I ran into Lila,” he says, maintaining eye contact with you. “She tried to drag me to the Commission while I was burying Elliott.”

“I see,” is all you say. “Allison?”

“Some men came in and attacked Ray and me at the house,” she explained. “Otherwise, I would have been on time.”

“Did you kill them?”

“I made them leave.”

“All right. Vanya?”

“Carl called the police to stop us on the way here. I had to deal with them.”

Sissy and Harlan are not supposed to be here. Based on the hard look Vanya is giving you, she knows that. You close your eyes and breathe out softly.

“All right. Well, I can’t change the past, and the briefcase is already lost, so I’m not going to shout about how everything should’ve gone,” you eventually tell them, eyebrows drawn. “I just want to talk to you about Five.”

“What's wrong with him?” Diego asks.

Klaus answers for you. “He’s pissed.”

Luther agrees solemnly. You frown.

“He’s stressed. Yes, he’s angry, but he’s mostly stressed and worried sick.” You uncross your arms. “Do you know what he did to get that briefcase?”

The siblings blink at you.

“He assassinated the board of directors,” you say. “I know you don’t know much about the Commission, but what he did was a big deal and very dangerous. And he did it for you. He does everything for you, because you’re his family, and he cares about you.”

“He has a hard time showing us,” Diego mutters.

“And you guys seem to have a hard time showing him,” you return. “It just … it feels like you see the apocalypse as Five’s problem. And maybe mine as well, but not yours. I understand that you’ve had to adapt and make a life here, but none of you except for Sissy and Harlan belong in this time. Whatever we’ll have to do from now on will require all of us to stay together. We can’t risk another doomsday.”

“Doomsday?” Sissy speaks up, alarmed. “What’s this about a doomsday?”

Vanya shifts. “It’s …” She touches Sissy’s hand gently. “It’s kind of a long story. I’ll tell you later, okay? You and Harlan don’t have to worry about it. We’ll fix it.”

“We will,” you confirm, nodding at the pair. “As long as everyone does what they’re supposed to.”

Luther looks at you curiously. “Why are you telling us all of this and not Five?”

Why, indeed. Glancing back in the direction of the bedroom, you think of Five tucked away in bed for the first time since he landed in Dallas. Hopefully, he hasn’t snuck out. You’ll have to check on him soon.

“He’d be too stubborn to admit it. It took me a long time to find out how much he sacrificed to help me in the apocalypse. And the Commission.” You smile frankly. “What’s more, he’s resting now. It’s been a long two weeks.”

“Shit,” Klaus mutters. “I forgot about the time thing. The old man must be one apocalypse away from a heart attack.”

“Yes. He’s not invincible.”

Everyone looks down awkwardly.

“We’re sorry for not making it. We didn't know. And we’ll tell him that.” Allison folds her hands tightly in her lap. “So what do we do now?”

Again, not much. Shrugging, you gesture to the couches and chairs that they’re sitting on. “Rest. Get cleaned up. Five and I will need to explore our options once he’s awake.”

With that, you turn and start making your way back to the guest room.

Vanya’s tentative voice stops you when you’re halfway through the kitchen. “Let us know when he wakes up?”

The other siblings voice their agreement. A genuine smile touches your lips. “I will,” you answer, pleased.

The murmuring in the living room fades as you continue walking. When you reach the bedroom, you gingerly open the door and poke your head inside.

Five is exactly where you had left him, tucked in with the blankets up to his chin and dead to the world. Soft snores reach your ears as you creep closer. Good. Seating yourself at the edge of the mattress, you run your fingers through his hair.

For the rest of the evening and most of the night, you watch over Five, keeping quiet and re-tucking the sheets around him whenever he stirs. He doesn’t open his eyes once. His siblings drift in occasionally, individually or in pairs, each of them looking every bit like they’re entering a lion’s den until you smile and beckon them closer. None of them speak, but they don’t need to. You can only hope that Five won’t be too angry with them in the morning.

A lot of work will need to be done then. But for now, your partner needs to sleep.

#wordless ways to say i love you #source: @50-item-writing-prompts #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy five #the umbrella academy #tua #five x reader #five imagine #tua fanfic #fanfic #reader insert #fluff #hurt/comfort #tw panicking #tw panic attack #fem!reader #five x fem!reader

[a-nybodys]

ok im very much in A Mood rn, so im gonna put what i hope will happen/think might happen in s3 under the cut just so if they happen i can point them out and say i told u so (spoilers from set photos/videos under cut)

ok so first off is dead klaus, weve got little girl on bike confirmed for two episodes already, a cemetary scene, and a title that is german for 'goodbye for now' so like...... obv its gonna happen. ive been thinking (even before the cryptic dirt comment on twitter) that the sibs are gonna have a sad/emotional funeral-ish thing for him maybe thats what sad allison storyboard is from), bury him and hes gonna have to dig himself back out. maybe he gets stuck in afterlife for longer because hes actively trying to not go back/see dave or brelly ben/smthn like that. oh also hes dying in a prev episode as well, because in my opinion the leaked set scene of the bikers carrying a body to a dumpster, dumping the body, and leaving all while klaus in green is watching is klaus "astral projecting" (when hes doing it in the comics hes highlighted in green) while his body is dumped. (maybe someone else is possessing him because his stunt double is moving while green klaus is still standing there???)

most sparrows dying, tho i hope fei and sloane live cus i think theyre neat so far. ben will probably live too, might be convinced to join with the brellies going into season 4??? that would make an interesting dynamic for sure.

lila time shenanigans before meeting back up with brellies. maybe lots of character development while away, even if it only takes a short time to the brellies. could be the episode opening flashback possibly. maybe shes seeking out the other 43 kids??

flashbacks to everyone else's birth whether this means the sparrows or umbrellas i just wanna see more miraculous births.) there is a woman cast as 'screaming woman on subway' and in the comics the miraculous births were shown by a baby being born on the subway. shes def ben's mom, i would like a smash cut of all the rest of the brellies being born intercepted with that, but more likely that scene is gonna be the opening to episode 1 of s3, to parallel s1's opening with vanya's mom. altho there was a berlin wall set leaked while shooting, which could be a flashback to 80s germany for a klaus birth 👀 (or luther but id prefer klaus lmao)

i would LOVE to see the brellies alternate selves, tho im not sure its that likely to happen lmao.

mothers of agony plotline, though i think the FULL full plotline of it might be a bit too dark for the show....... they might pare that back a bit cus forced possession prostitu/tion for klaus is a bit much to show on screen imo. tbh 'auf wiedersehen' could also be a line in show when klaus leaves the bikers to die out in the desert?? idk that would be fun, but i do think its a reference to dead klaus (probably from od like in the comics with the mothers of agony plotline)

hotel oblivion is DEF happening, though to what extent is a mystery. cars with the logo were seen on set, as well as filing outside of a hotel with a bellhop. im hoping its very trippy with horror elements, and also have some easter eggs with villians from the comics.

also just to get it out of the way heres what im 99.99% sure the sparrows powers are: marcus-invincibility, we got a muscle emoji as a hint, but they wouldnt make two characters have the same power; fei- can turn into/see through flock of birds, pretty much her comic power, though idk if they go full on 'change into flock of birds' like in the comics; alphonso- human voodoo doll, whatever injury he inflicts on himself he can push onto someone else, same as fei its just his comic power, but the scarification def suggests theyre following the comics on that front; sloane- could be flying/levitating/making other things/people levitate or fly too. she feels 'tied down' so flight is probable; jayme- i think she inhereted the 'emits a powerful beam from face' from the comics tbh. her 'fear-inducing snarl' sounds similar enough for me lol; christopher- we were basically already told his powers: lower the temperature and make people scared lmao.

im hoping so dearly we get some good good gender talk from vanya (and klaus preferrably but probably not). just want some honest gender talk from elliot in the show lmao. would love to see a nonbinary/trans vanya

DAVE we need dave okay. i saw someone mention a hardware store seen on set (which i havent seen??? if anyone has pics i would love to see) which could DEF mean old dave which i will not be able to handle in the best angstiest way. give me all the 'right person always the wrong time' for klave (but also please end with them together)

and finally, as a reward for reading this far, a playlist i made of songs i want in season 3

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4hmjlayoZhfjU8lG1Ma1k5?si=3c2dd7aa4bc342fa

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #this is purely self indulgent but feel free to read if u want #tua #the umbrella academy #tua s3 speculation #tua s3 spoilers #tua s3 #tua season 3

[in-tua-deep]

Angsty au idea, five makes it back except he arrives dead and only Klaus and Ben can see him. (What happened to his body? Could be that his body got stuck between space time or he drops off as his thirteen year old sib and thats gonna traumatize the sibs probably) (Ig he could have also either died from wounds because the commision figured that he'd be turning and got strained from the time travel or an error in equations)

me, resurrecting myself over here

okay okay okay i’m going to take your idea and tweak it just a teeny tiny bit and produce:

Time travel isn’t viable.

Not the way five travels. Not without a conduit. Not when he’s essentially harnessing all of time, all of those endless possibilities, within the heart of a human being. It’s so much. It’s too much. Five died the moment he blinked away on that street outside of the Hargreeves mansion. 

But Five doesn’t know that. 

He doesn’t notice that no one gives him a second glance when he appears out of nowhere on those bustling streets. He just jumps again, because why not! He’s excited, he’s proving his father wrong, he’s liberated! And then.

And then.

He’s in the apocalypse.

He doesn’t notice that he can’t interact with anything until he touches his Luther’s corpse and his hand goes right through. And then, his first thought isn’t - I died. It’s - something went wrong with the last jump.

Which makes sense to him. He’s managed to get himself trapped on some kind of in-between plane. And that’s why his time travel powers aren’t working! Because they don’t work right on this plane! 

Five wanders the apocalypse, and it’s a little better than in canon because he doesn’t need to eat.

(Oh, he misses eating.)

He’s a smart boy. A brilliant boy. He’s thirteen, and he thinks he’s invincible. But his powers are jumping, and he can take himself apart molecule by molecule, and eventually eventually after years and years have passed he manages to solidify his hand enough to pick something up.

The first time he turns a page in a book feels like victory. 

He camps out in the destroyed remains of a library. Being solid enough to pick something up is... exhausting. He can’t do it for long periods of time. But he has a little stack of useful books, a little pile of chalk, the store mannequin he likes to talk to (he named her Dolores), and a blanket that has seen better days. He can’t exactly feel the ground when he curls up on it, and he can’t really sleep in this messed up pocket dimension or wherever he’s stuck, but he closes his eyes and pretends with all the power of the child he isn’t.

He’s in the apocalypse for a long time, trying to figure out a two-fold problem: how to get out of his pocket dimension and back into the ‘real world’ and also how to get back to his siblings when he does. He isn’t stupid. Time travel when he was capable of it was a crapshoot, he needs a way to get more exact.

And then the woman comes. Pristine and blond and carrying a suitcase. She frowns when she steps over the rubble in heels that click click click and frowns harder when she presses gloved fingers against Five’s equations written in chalk.

Five hides behind some rubble, but gets brave. Gets curious.

(Curiosity killed the cat.)

He comes out, he says “Hello?” and isn’t sure what he expected when she doesn’t even turn around. Five goes towards her with silent footsteps, footsteps that don’t disturb the dirt and chalk dust of the apocalypse because they don’t exist. 

He doesn’t know who she is, but he’s curious what’s in her suitcase, and waits patiently for her to open it. He’s also planning on following her back to whatever settlement she came from? He hadn’t thought there were any people alive, but clearly she is proving him wrong. 

So when she walks away, he puts his hand on her suitcase so that he doesn’t lose her, because even if she wouldn’t feel it putting his hand on her and watching it go through would be... demoralizing. 

And then she opens the suitcase, and suddenly they’re somewhere else. Except not somewhere else. Its bustling with people and the woman’s heels click loudly against the tile floor and someone walks right through Five and he trails after the woman because everyone seems to give her a wide berth and being walked through sucks. 

Someone addresses her. The Handler. That’s not - that’s not a people name, Five is pretty sure. That’s a title. But no one addresses the woman by name, so the Handler it is. 

Five doesn’t know how old he is, but he still looks thirteen. (He doesn’t feel any different, because he isn’t. His growth is permanently stunted, he will always have died at thirteen-years-one-month-and-nine-days-old.)

So he lives at the Commission headquarters for a few years, invisible and a tiny bit mischievous. He can travel through the walls if he wants, so no door is locked to him. He makes himself a little den in one of the vents where he gets a small collection of office supplies that he steals from the assholes as punishment. He doesn’t do anything major. 

He finds out what the commission does. He tags along with some assassins on occasion. He once distracted Cha-Cha by shoving a glass off a counter and breaking it to try and give a child witness time to flee.

(Hazel found her in the closet, terrified and silent with huge glassy brown eyes. He lifted a finger to his lips and quietly closed the closet door. He yelled “Clear!” to Cha-Cha, and then he and cha-cha and Five all left. Five looks at Hazel differently, after that.)

(Hazel has a soft spot for kids and bird-watching diner owners. This is important.)

Five scribbles equations on the walls of the vents. He gets more data every time he travels with the agents so he starts traveling with them a lot, even though he hates it, even though he sees so much death and destruction and he can’t stop it. He helps, sometimes. As much as he can. It’s not enough.

Five finds something, one day, when he’s wandering around. He finds a picture of Vanya, framed. He recognizes her immediately, from the back of Vanya’s book that he found in the apocalypse. They have lots of pictures of famous people around the commission, and lots of pictures of ordinary people. All of them significant in some way to the ‘preservation of the timeline’.

He goes to the Handler’s office, and among her many souvenirs he finds a cracked violin, and he remembers the background music that made up his entire childhood. 

(He steals the violin and puts it in his vent nook. He flips it over and traces the tiny V that’s shallowly carved shyly into the bottom, the same one Vanya has been putting on every violin she’s ever had since she was seven-years-old, after Diego and Luther broke hers and tried to claim that it was just a random violin, not her violin and it wasn’t their fault she didn’t take care of her possessions -)

(Why is Vanya’s violin in the Handler’s collection of weapons?)

Five is aware of something. He thinks the commission has something to do with the apocalypse. They protect the timeline of whatever, right? And yet the apocalypse happened. Which means it must be planned. 

Five has been trained to fight ‘villains’ since he was tiny, and he recognizes a villain when he looks at the Handler’s shiny smile and too long nails. 

Vanya has to have something to do with it. Do the commission kidnap her? Do they kill her? She’s important, somehow.

(Maybe before he traveled he would have doubted that. Vanya was ordinary. Why would she be important? But Five has tagged along on so many missions where they killed perfectly ordinary people in order to spark a chain of events. In fact, it’s almost always ordinary people.)

Five solves one of his equations on a regular, ordinary day. It’s the time travel one. Not the one about his... unfortunate circumstances.

So Five finds a nice empty room, and he gives it a try. He’s not expecting much, since the pocket dimension bullshit fucks up his time travel anyway (though he can still spatial jump curiously enough) except - it works. He splits the world apart, and it’s hard. Way harder than he remembers it being. 

He chalks that up to the whole pocket dimension effect.

He pushes and pushes and then - something breaks. Like ice shattering for a spring thaw, and he’s through. He’s on the ground, winded. He looks up and - it’s them. His siblings. Older than he remembers, clearly the equation wasn’t exactly right, but they’re here and they’re alive and Five can feel himself tearing up and he lets it happen because none of them can see him anyway and - 

“Five?” 

Two voices, overlapping. Five’s head snaps over, eyes wide with shock and alarm and - 

It’s Klaus and Ben. Both staring at him, equal alarm and shock in their eyes.

“You can see me?” Five demands loudly, patting at his body frantically. Is this it? Did he kill two birds with one stone? Did coming back undo whatever bullshit he put his body through - ?

“Klaus, why would you say that.” Allison scolds automatically, “That was in poor taste.”

Five looks at her, and her eyes scan straight over him, in the way that’s been familiar for - for - 

(Five didn’t bother to keep track of the years. Not when he was unaffected by time, by seasons, by weather. What was the point?)

Five’s eyes snap back to Klaus’s, who hasn’t taken his eyes away. It’s weird, Five thinks absently. His skin crawls under the attention, not used to it.

(Isn’t that strange, in a boy who used to demand attention with every breath he took? Isn’t that odd?)

There’s a hand on his arm and Five just about jumps out of his skin, whirling around and flailing and - oh look, that’s Ben on the ground, looking absolutely shocked. Five is also shocked, because he hasn’t been touched in - in forever. 

“Ben?” Five half-asks, voice smaller than he’d like with a tremble that he kind of wants to kick in the gut. 

“Five.” Ben responds, kind of sounding like he’s been punched in the chest. Actually he might have been, Five was never very gentle when it came to removing his limbs from others grasps.

“Well!” Klaus says loudly, making Five and Ben look over. “If the crisis is over, and we’ve lost a perfectly good fire extinguisher to the void, i’m going back inside!”

Klaus gives Ben a significant look as he turns on his heel and marches back in, and Ben winces. “Come on,” He whispers to Five, getting up and brushing himself off. “It’s better to talk when no one else is around.”

Ben hesitates, and Five hasn’t spoken to anyone but himself in a very long time. It’s been even longer since - well. And Ben looks so lost all of a sudden, that it’s really for Ben’s benefit when Five takes Ben’s hand in his own and tugs him in the direction of the mansion, “Well get a move on.”

Ben looks like he’s about to cry, looking at their joined grip, but nods and leads Five into the building. He gives Five’s hand a squeeze, as though making sure he’s real, and Five allows it gracefully.

Finally, they’re tucked into Klaus’s bedroom, Klaus sprawled across the bed and staring at Five like he’s something entirely alien.

“I don’t understand.” Five says, because the silence is getting awkward. “How come you guys can see me, but the others can’t?”

And Five is very confused when Ben’s face just - crumples. He looks like he’s about to cry. And Klaus, the contrary bastard, starts laughing, just a tiny bit hysterically.

“Take a guess shortstack.” Klaus wheezes out, “What’s my power?”

It’s seeing the dead, of course. But Five isn’t dead he’s just - in between. Right?

Besides, there’s a glaring flaw in Klaus’s theory.

“Uh, Ben can see me.” Five points out, lifting his and Ben’s conjoined hands where Ben’s grip is actually getting a little bit painful.

But isn’t a good kind of pain. Five hasn’t felt pain in - equally long. 

Klaus’s laughter cuts off and Ben makes a noise like a squeaky toy that’s been stepped on. “Yeah,” Klaus says, uncharacteristically serious, “Well. You missed a lot, kiddo.”

“Ben’s not dead.” Five protests, because he’s not. Five can see him. He’s right there, and he’s never had Klaus’s powers. He turns to Ben and - 

Ben envelops him in a hug, a tight one. The kind that Five would never have allowed unless absolutely necessary before he’s left, but now just sort of - melts into. It’s the pressure of it, honestly. Ben’s a good hugger.

“Five I’m so sorry.” Ben whispers, pressing his face against Five’s hair. It tickles a little, where Ben breathes out. “I’m so, so sorry.”

He pulls back, and brushes trembling fingers against Five’s hair. “Five, Five. Haven’t you - haven’t you wondered why you can’t - Five. You’re still - it’s been so long and you’ve been alone and - ” Ben breaks into sniffles.

“I’m just stuck.” Five says blankly, trying his best to process, “I’m just - I jumped wrong, and I got - I got stuck in between. I’m not - I’m not dead.”

“You’re deader than a doornail, kiddo.” Klaus interjects loudly.

Five, never one to take that lying down, untangles himself from Ben just enough to pick up a knicknack and hurls it at Klaus’s head with a scowl. “I’m not a kid.”

Except now they’re both staring at Five again, even as Klaus presses a hand against his forehead where Five had whalloped him (his aim was a good as ever, clearly).

“How -” Ben stutters, staring between Klaus and Five with alarm.

Klaus sputters as well, “What the fuck! How did you do that!”

“Well you see, Klaus.” Five says, voice toxic with the sweetness he exuded, “When someone leans down, and picks something up, they can exert a force on it. This force interacts with other forces to form the trajectory of an object - ”

“Not that!” Klaus sputters, “You picked something up!”

“Yeah, that happens sometimes.” Five says dryly.

Ben prods him in the side, making Five look over (up, if we’re being technical. Grown-up Ben is... kind of tall, actually. Compared to Five.) “How did you do that?”

And Five isn’t dead. He isn’t. But - he remembers the early days. How terrifying they were. How he couldn’t interact with the world around him at all. And if Ben is going through the same thing - “It... it took me a while to figure out. Um. It’s - it’s kind of hard to explain? Because like, when I jump it’s - it’s kind of like taking myself apart and then putting myself together somewhere else. And it’s like, like taking that feeling, except instead of putting yourself together somewhere else you like, layer it over yourself as you are? Like, making yourself denser somehow, I dunno.”

“If you can do it, then I can, too.” Ben says ferociously, a determined glint in his eyes. “I’ll finally be able to throw things at Klaus when he’s being an idiot.”

“Hey!” Klaus protests, looking very offended.

This is all very nice, but Five did come here with a mission... so he tugs at Ben’s arm. “Ben, what’s the date?”

Ben shrugs, because why should the dead care about the date? He looks at Klaus. Klaus looks like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Um.” Then he brightens, “Right!” He grabs something from his pocket, it’s rectangular and flat. There were lots in the apocalypse, though Five has never figured out their functions. Except when Klaus clicks his, it lights up. 

“Uh, March 24th.” Klaus says, squinting at the screen.

“What year?” Five asks, leaning forward.

“2019.” Klaus says.

“Fuck,” Five says, with feeling. “A week.”

“What’s a week?” Ben asks warily as Five flails and untangles himself from his grasp to stand up and pace.

“You don’t understand.” Five says, turning to them both, “I haven’t just - just been traveling the world as a fucking ghost. I time traveled. It worked. But - the future - ”

“Five?” Ben asks, all concern and love and it’s painful.

“The world ends in seven days.” Five tells them both, voice cracking, “There’s nothing but - but rubble and ruin and - and - ”

He remembers their bodies, remembers them splayed out in the rubble. 

“You died.” Five told Klaus, “You all died. The whole world died. Everything was - ash everywhere. I was there for - for...”

“The courtyard scene.” Ben realizes, reaching out as something like comprehension dawns on his face. Five dances back a few steps, his breaths coming in funny little pants. “You came back from - the future?”

“Breath, Five.” Klaus advises, sounding a little bit worries himself.

“If I’m dead why do I need to breath?” Five snarls, and Klaus’s face drops and he curls in on himself a little looking pathetic. It’s enough for Five to toss out a mildly panicked “Sorry” because? That’s what you do right?

(Five hasn’t interacted with people who can talk back in decades and it shows.)

And Five tells them everything, in halting uncertain breaths. He winds up curled up on the bed with Ben’s arms around him, steady as a rock, while Klaus manages to somehow sit in the desk chair in a manner that makes Five a little uncertain that his brother possesses bones and ligaments. 

He tells them about the future, about finding their bodies, about learning to - to condense himself just enough to interact with the world. He tells them about the woman, about the suitcase, about following her. He tells them about the Commission, and how he’s sure they have something to do with it - the Handler had Vanya’s violin - 

By the time Five is finished talking, he’s exhausted. The sun has slipped below the horizon already, and he feels like dead weight in his brother’s arms. At some point, Ben had started running a hand through Five’s hair, and the repetitive motion is soothing.

“That’s - that’s a lot.” Klaus says, and something must have shocked him a little bit out of his goofy persona. 

“I just wanted to go home.” Five mumbles.

“You are home.” Ben tells him, squeezing him tightly, “And we’re going to make sure the apocalypse doesn’t happen. Right, Klaus?”

Klaus shuffles, awkwardly. “I mean. I’m not exactly uh, number one choice for team apocalypse you know?”

“Ben’s number one choice for team apocalypse.” Five points out, flopping his head against Ben’s arm. “You’re an okay second choice though, I guess.”

It makes Klaus bark out a laugh, and Five can feel Ben’s snicker through his chest.

“Vanya’s gotta be on the team.” Five mumbles, loud enough for them to hear. “She’s important. Gotta make sure, make sure no one uh, no one kills her or anything.”

Ben and Klaus exchange a look over his head that he doesn’t see.

“We’ll plan everything tomorrow.” Ben tells him gently, “In the morning, okay?”

“Mmkay.” Five agrees absently.

The dead don’t sleep, but they can get - tired. Being in the living world is exhausting, and Five closes his eyes and just. Ignores the world. Just for a little while. The dead don’t dream, but that’s okay, because Five’s dreams have never been anything approaching peaceful.

Five made it back. He might be a ghost, but he made it back. An impossible goal, and he accomplished it. After that, taking on the apocalypse will be a piece of cake. 

(And if Ben and Klaus think Five is going to give up on his idea to un-dead himself, they have another thing coming.)

#unviable au #tua au #Anonymous #far tua long #the umbrella academy #long post #five hargreeves #number five #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus ben five and vanya are going to make up team apocalypse #five might be a ghost #but he's also a poltergeist #and also thirteen #ben says 'i am your mother now' to five #to be fair to ben five is the only person he can touch and outright interact with #five CANNOT interact with people only objects #he isn't sure why #living people i mean #ben is a cuddler and five is touch starved and that's that #klaus thinks it's very very cute #but also tragic #also he keeps getting dragged into saving the world shenanigans #when he could be doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE #klaus might be a bit grumpy #ben is unsympathetic #five can and will throw things at klaus #vanya is just. very confused #but also happy because five is?? back? #the family bugged klaus about five's ghost for years

[isabellitah]

🤍 HARGREEVES x SIBLING

Title : fly high

Pairing : none

Warning : your death- but it’s not completely sad : D

Note : turns out i private posted this last week

you were on your third mission with your siblings- minus Vanya

it was all going so well

until it didn’t

they didn’t see it

not Luther

not Diego

not Allison

not Klaus

not Ben himself

heck-

not even Five saw it

but you did

and so-

you pushed Ben out of the way and got stabbed by a robot right on the abdomen

you felt a sharp pain go through as you were dropped onto the cold harsh floor you before you felt numb

your body felt heavy- yet empty

at first you heard nothing but white noise until it cleared for a second and the last thing you heard were your siblings’ cries and shouts of your name

and then-

nothing

huh…

so this is what dying felt like…

You sighed as you watched Klaus look for another pouch of drugs. You can’t stop him- you never can.

He can see you but for some reason he can’t hear you.

So he always thought of you as some random hallucination that’ll haunt him til the day he dies.

Speaking of death- ever since you died, you’ve always been present. And right before your eyes, you saw your family fall apart. Luther blamed himself for failing you as Number One. Diego blamed himself for not being able to get rid of the robot before it killed you. Allison regrets not being within hearing range of the robot in order to rumor it. Klaus felt guilty for being a coward. Five felt horrible for not getting to you quick enough. Ben felt guilty because he believed that he’s the reason that you died a painful death. Vanya felt horrible for not being there for you.

At first Klaus couldn’t see you. However one day, you were shocked, honestly, when he just stared at you straight in the eyes before calling out your name. You were elated- an entire month later- he finally saw you but as you opened your mouth to speak- you were disappointed and heartbroken to see the hope flash out of his eyes. He couldn’t hear you…

He never told the others that he can see you- it’d just raise their hopes for nothing.

Days later, Five got into an argument with Father and ran out of the house. You tried to follow him but the moment he flashed away, you knew you couldn’t follow him wherever he was and went back home and waited for him. And waited. And waited. And waited.

Years past and everyone moved out of the house. You stayed there years after the last child left, waiting for Five.

When you reached eighteen, however, you decided to move on and look after another sibling.

And you chose Klaus.

Ben was with him for a while when you first arrived, but unfortunately his job later on called for him to leave the country as he was a well-known poet. He was doing so good with Ben around.

But when Ben left, he spiralled not soon after. Ben sent Klaus a monthly allowance that he unfortunately chose to waste on drugs.

It broke your heart to see how much he struggled- to see a hallucination of your dead sister who can’t talk yet hear the angered screams of the souls who weren’t ready for death-

It broke you to see him like that and not be able to help.

Flash forward and here you are back in the home you inhabited for the first eighteen years of your life, alive and dead.

Five just came back and told the family of the impending apocalypse so they readied themselves to do whatever they could to stop it.

As you watched Klaus place the pills in his mouth, in a desperate attempt you called out, “please don’t…”

And he stopped.

He turned to you and gaped.

He spat the pills out and shakily asked you to repeat what you said.

Wait a minute…

Yours eyes widened in realization, “you can hear me?”

“Holy sh- Tee???” when you nodded with tears slowly clouding your eyes, he went towards you without thinking about anything and hugged you.

It’s been years since you felt warmth.

It felt… odd. But it was a good sort of odd.

“I missed you, Klausy.“ you whispered tearily as you slowly wrapped your arms around him. When you actually felt him, you let the tears fall.

A sob wracked through both of your bodies.

“I-I missed you too, Tee. God I can’t believe I can hear and hug you.”

You both stayed in that position for a while before letting the other go to properly look at each other.

“I love you, Klausy,” you whispered, extracting another sob from your emotionally distraught brother.

“Stop it, Eightie,” he sobbed, “my eyeliner’s going to be all ruined now.” to which you playfully rolled your eyes at. He hiccuped before responding, “I love you too.”

A knock startled you both before Ben peeped his head in, looking at Klaus with a curious gaze, “were you talking to someone?”

Realizing this meant you were invincible once again, you sighed but remained hopeful of being able to communicate with your siblings one day.

Now that you knew Klaus could do this, you knew he can be stronger than all your siblings ever thought he could be.

You smiled as you watched Klaus tell Ben of what happened earlier and Ben looked excited to know that there was a possibility that he could talk to you once more. That he could see you again soon.

Ben talked to you while Klaus told him what you said in reply.

While he was tortured by Hazel and Cha-Cha, you could do nothing but watch in horror and cry. Your fists went straight through Hazel’s back no matter how hard you tried. No matter how many time Klaus told you to leave- to avert your eyes- you stayed by his side.

To the future and back home, you never left him. Losing Dave and seeing all the souls lost to war haunted him and worsened his already deteriorating mental health.

But you and Ben- you were both there with him through thick and thin. You and Ben were there for him and helped him through his depression after he lost Dave to war. Neither of you left his side.

Sometimes, while Klaus was asleep, you and Ben laid on a blanket on the floor just talking. Well, Ben talked. And while he couldn’t hear your reply, he carried on talking as though he could until he fell asleep- with you looking after both him and Klaus as night turned to day.

“Hey uhh guys?” Klaus started speaking after much persuasion from you, “maybe I could help.”

“Now is not the time for your jokes, Klaus.” Luther said dismissively, not even glancing at Klaus, and you narrowed your eyes at your eldest brother.

You mumbled under your breath about how much of a rude butthead he was and while Klaus would normally laugh at that, he was too focused on the fact that his heart was beating so fast, afraid of being rejected by his siblings once more. He should be used to it by how many times it’s happened but- he just isn’t. Okay?

So he was shocked when Diego, of all people, disagreed with Luther for him, “no, let him finish. He saved my life today.”

Ben looked at Klaus with a raised eyebrow and seeing his look, Klaus glanced at his left where Ben assumed you were.

“Is that true?” Luther asked, and you bobbed your head up and down so quick even with the knowledge that your siblings - minus Klaus - couldn’t see you, Klaus was shocked to see you didn’t get whiplash. Can ghosts even get whiplash? Anyway, he faced his siblings ahead of him and took a deep breath before answering.

They either believe him or don’t. Who cares- he knows he’s telling the truth. And Ben believes him so that’s two siblings on his side. And that’s okay. You two are enough to make him feel loved and enough.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did,“ he let out a shuddering breath, “I did take credit for that. When in fact, the real hero was Eightie.”

You felt your heart sunk as your siblings - minus Ben - looked at Klaus with varying degrees of unamusement. Five even looked pissed at him.

Klaus hurried to continue. “Today…listen. T-.” be stuttered, losing the confidence he had to talk the more that he processed his siblings’ faces. “Ben knows she’s here- th-they talked before! A-and earlier at the house, she saved Diego’s life, not me. I swe-.”

“You are unbelievable, Klaus.” Luther said, looking at Klaus with an expression eerily similar to the one Reginald used to give Klaus as a child and hearing Klaus’ whimper was your breaking point.

You felt your blood boil at the injustice your brother received from his own brother.

“You want proof, is that it?” Klaus asked, looking at you for confirmation. And when you nodded he continued speaking, “all right! I’ll give you proof. Right- it’s showtime, Tee!” Klaus picked up a bowling ball, hefting it in his hands with a pleading look in his eye directed towards you.

God, he hoped his powers don’t fail him now.

You took a deep breath before positioning yourself to catch it. As Klaus let the ball up in the air, you prayed that you’d be able to catch it. Catching things were never your strong point and a bowling ball to your toes did not sound pleasant, at all. You blinked in surprise as you felt something heavy land in your hands. Looking down- holy- you caught it!

“Klausy, look-” your cheer was cut short by the gasps from your other siblings- oh yeah, they can see you now.

Your eyes widened and a shock expression took over your facial features as the process sunk in.

They can see you now!

You looked down at the hot pink colored ball with a shocked look, before grinning from ear to ear, “Klausy, look! I did it! You did it! We did it!”

Klaus’ mouth was open in awe. “Yeah… Yeah, we did.” He moved towards you, took the ball from your hands, deposited it back on the ball rack he took it from, and drew you into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of us, Tee.”

Luther paled as he stared at the sight in front of him in shock.

Diego was torn between shock and happy.

Allison was covering her mouth with tears in her eyes.

Five looked genuinely surprised and had nothing sarcastic to say for once.

Ben looked both happy and proud.

Klaus has been trying to get you to tangible for weeks now and finally, you were once again. And just in time to show off to the others, too.

“How is this possible?” Diego asked as you made your way over to Ben and proceeded to hug him.

“Well, dad mentioned that I had only begun scratching the surface of my powers. I think there’s a lot that I haven’t figured out how to do yet.”

“I missed you, Benny,”

He huged you tighter to himself, “I missed you too, Eightie.”

“I’m so fucking so-”

“Stop right there. It’s not your fault, okay? Nothing is. I did what I believed to be right, and I don’t regret it- and neither should you.”

You both continued hugging one another before letting go to approach Allison.

You smiled at her and wiped the tears falling from her eyes, watching as her lips mouthed your name over and over again.

“Hi, Alli…” you chuckled tearily before pulling her into a hug, “I missed you so much.”

She clung to you tightly and you could feel her tears dripping onto your blouse as her sobs shook her body in your arms.

It was disheartening to be reminded of the fact that now that she can see you, you can’t hear her talk to you directly.

After a few moments, perhaps minutes even, you pulled away so you could go hug and have a little chat with your remaining siblings, “at least I’m still older than someone, huh,” you said, nudging Five with your elbow and grinning at him causing him to grace with his rare scowl. It was rare because it had no bite to it- it was more of a fond scowl. He squinted his eyes at you for a bit before replying, “I’m 58, Tee, I just look 13.”

“Oh, I know. I was there when you told everyone of your adventure,” you shrugged before wrapping your arms around his waist, “good to have you back, Fivey.”

“I still detest that nickname…” Five hesitated for a quick second before wrapping his arms around you, “but I guess if it’s you, it’s okay.” it was such a good moment until- “at least I’m still taller than you, huh?”

“Oh shut up,” you giggled as he chuckled, “I missed you, Fivey… I love you, you know that, right?”

“I missed you too, Tee, and yeah- but it’s good to be reminded every once in a while.”

You parted from him, which he hesitantly did so, before walking towards Diego. You weren’t surprised when he pulled you into a hug so high that it lifted your feet off of the ground. “It’s so good to see you again, Eightie.” you smiled as you felt tears start to cloud your eyes once more, “it’s good to see you too, Dee. I missed you all so much- it was so hard being able to see you but not being able to talk to you.”

When Diego set you down, you started walking your way over to Luther. He still looked shocked and a tad pale to see you right in front of and walking towards him.

“Eightie… I-” you cut him off, “I want to say aomething before we continue with this little reunion, okay?” Luther’s mouth snapped shut and his eyes slightly widened at the authoritative yet soft tone your voice took, “This goes for all of you- but especially you, Luther. Stop doubting Klaus. Stop discouraging him. Stop belittling him. Instead, listen to him. Give him a chance- and start respecting him. He’s done more than enough to deserve it and you all know it.”

“Awww! Thank you, Eightie!” said man-child blew a kiss accompanied by a wink in your direction.

“Right. You’re right.” Luther agreed before turning to Klaus, “Klaus… I’m sorry for doubting you and for not giving you a shot.”

Diego was quick to chime in, “me too.”

“Me three.” Five sent a small smile in Klaus’ direction.

Allison raised her hand in as a way of saying “me four.”.

Ben looked at Klaus before smiling, “I had faith in you- but I am sorry for not being here sooner to help you.” to which Klaus smiled at him then proceeded to hug him, “thanks for not leaving my side.”

You grinned at the moment shared between the two brothers, “Okay… Now that that’s out of the way…” you wrapped your arms around Luther’s waist the best you could, “I missed you too, Luthy.”

Suddenly, you disappeared from his embrace and your siblings looked around worriedly before they noticed that Klaus passed out in Ben’s arms. Ben carefully sat him on the nearest chair available- which wasn’t far at all.

“To make Eightie tangible once more… it must’ve used up a lot of his energy,” Five murmured before walking over to his passed out brother and made sure his chest was still rising and falling in pattern.

“Well what do we do now that he’s unconscious?” asked Luther to which Ben replied, “we’ll let him rest for a bit- maybe half an hour then get him some cheesy fries or nachos or something. That should make him bounce back pretty quick.”

“Did someone say fries?” Klaus asked groggily, his hand resting on his head trying to get the pounding to stop.

Diego grinned, approached him and placed his hand on his shoulder, “one order of cheesy fries with cucumber lemonade- comin right up.”

The moment Klaus made you visible to the land of the living once more, you immediately washed at least half of the masked men out of the building by torpedo-ing the ones in front and near you away. With that done, you immediately made your way towards Vanya. You two had always been close- close enough that you can call yourselves each other’s best friend, and you hoped that that would help you in convincing her to stop. You didn’t want anything bad to ever happen to either her or your other siblings; they all deserved to live long, happy lives.

You stopped in front of her and smiled softly, “hi, V,” her impassive look melted into one of confusion, “Eightie…? How are you here?” her hand slowly stopped playing on the violin.

“Klaus learned a new trick recently. Amazing, isn’t it?” your eyes shined with so much excitement that all Vanya could say was, “yeah…” you could see the tears glistening in her eyes, “it’s amazing, Eightie…” you missed your best friend and you knew she felt the same way as neither of you got to see each other the day you died as you all left for the mission way before Vanya left her room to start her day. You gently placed a hand on her arm, “V, please- you need to stop playing.” some of the steel returned to her eyes, and you’re first thought was that that didn’t belong in Vanya’s eyes- Vanya’s eyes are warm- never cold, “this was supposed to be my moment, Eightie. I just wanted one accomplishment of my own- one thing I could be proud of.”

“And you should be, V. You should be proud of yourself and of what you do. You sound so amazing- your tunes and timing are in sync and it’s just absolutely soothing to hear you play your melody,” you said before frowning, “I know that this whole newly awakened powers thing must be scary for you, but if you stop playing and lower your violin, we can help you, V. We’ll help you learn how to understand and control your powers. And we’ll be patient with you and not treat you like an experiment unlike what father would’ve done- had done.”

Vanya was openly sobbing now as she voiced her concern, “what if they can’t be controlled- what if I’m just a monster?” she looked down at the ground and lowered her hands until they rested at her sides.

You cupped her cheeks in your palms and forced her to look at you in the eyes, “Vanya Hargreeves- you are the kindest one out of all of us, okay? You always have been. Trust me when I say this- you could never be a monster. And I know this as not only your sister, but also your best friend.”

Vanya’s shoulders sagged as she felt all the tension leave her body causing her violin to drop onto the floor, “I’m sorry, Tee, I- I’m so sorry…” she murmured as she hugged you and tucked her face into the crook of your neck.

You hugged her before reassuring her, “it’s gonna be okay, V. We’re going to be okay.” you tightened arms around her as she started trembling against you as you felt more tears against your neck, you felt your heart break for your sister. Vanya never deserved any of this- to be secluded from everyone when she had no powers only to be pushed away now that she discovered her powers, “come over here,” You said, waving your siblings over, “and join in on comforting V.”

“I, for one, never wished for you to be either secluded or locked up, Vanya- you’re my sister,” said Five as he jumped near you. He suprisingly joined the hug willingly, wrapping his arms around you both the best he could, “and believe it or not- I do love you both.”

“Awww! Who knew Fivey had a soft spot in his wittle black heart- don’t glare at me like that- I’m just kidding- I know you love me too,” Klaus said as he and Ben joined in the group hug, “And I think it’s safe to say that none of us wanted you locked up.” to which Ben added, “We love you so much, Vanny.” and as Vanya opened her mouth to reply, Diego and Allison also joined in the group hug, “Klaus’ right, Vanya, none of us wanted you trapped in there. Also, Allison wants you to know that we love you, ‘kay?” Vanya chuckled through blurry eyes lined wih tears, “I-I know that now and I really appreciate it- I-I love you guys. All of you.”

You all looked towards Luther who stood a few steps away from your group hug. He was shifting from one foot to the other as his face showed how uncomfortable he felt. He took a deep breath, “I messed up, Vanya- I- I know that I shouldn’t have tried to kill you nor should I have locked you up. I wasn’t thinking straight- that’s not an excuse but- I should have tried to help you understand what was going on instead of harming you. I’m so sorry.” Vanya saw how apologetic he looked and gave him a soft smile, “I’ll forgive you, Luther… As long as you forgive me.” Luther smiled as he approached your group and wrapped his arms around all of you, “deal; love you, Vanny.” Vanya smiled, “I love you too, Luther. All of you, really… And thank you.”

It took a few years but- Vanya finally felt accepted for who she was, felt included and loved in her own family. You smiled as you felt a tingling sensation- you can now finally move on knowing that you did what you were meant to do.

For the first time in years, you were all complete and happy together… Unfortunately, it’d be the last time you experience it with them. They didn’t even notice you were no longer there until they broke apart. And they didn’t even notice that they’d never see you again until Klaus mentioned your absence for the past few days.

Then and there it clicked in their minds… You never moved on until you were sure that they were together and happy- like a real family. You made sure that none of them were ever going to be alone, ever again.

‘Typical Eightie… we’ll miss you… and we love you… fly high, Tee.’

#tua #tua x reader #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #allison hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #ben hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves x reader #hargreeves x reader #hargreeves x sibling #number eight

[frunbuns]

No Use Crying Over Spilled Nail Polish

Allison helps Five. They bond. That’s basically it.

Read on Ao3

Allison sighs. Some of her nail polish has vanished. Vanished might not be the correct word though, because Allison is fairly certain she knows where it's gone. Doesn't make it any less frustrating though.

If Klaus wants to paint his nails he could just come and ask her. She can even paint his nails and he can paint hers. But Klaus always has had sticky fingers. She's not terribly surprised.

"Klaus!"

She marches out of her room, towards Klaus', a scolding on her lips. Except, when she opens the door the room is empty. There's no trace of her nail polish either.

Klaus could be anywhere. The Academy is massive and it'd take her hours to search the whole premise. Just because they weren’t allowed in certain places didn’t mean Klaus wouldn’t go there. In fact, he’d definitely go there if he wasn’t allowed. Five and Klaus seems to love breaking the rules. They’d racked up more punishments to cover all seven of them three times over. 

(Allsion has never understood why they do it. Dad’s punishments can be rough and it’s definitely not something you want.)

Even if the Academy is massive, Allison does not give up that easily. She’ll find the nail polish. It’s hers after all. One of the few things that are really her own. Which is why she finds herself stomping up the stairs.

"Klaus?" she calls out, but receives no answer.

Allison huffs to herself, rolling her eyes. She really does not have the patience for this today.

"Klaus?"

She walks down the hallway, quickly peering into each room as she passes. Somehow they're all empty, even though ten people live in the building.

And then she sees a tuft of dark hair.

"Klaus! I swear to—"

Except, it isn't Klaus. It's Five.

"Sorry, I thought you were—"

He’s slumped against the wall, looking half-asleep as his legs slowly shuffle down the hallway. There’s a thin sheen of sweat coating his pale, ashy face. His bangs are slick against his forehead. Five looks, for lack of a better word, sickly. Allison would almost say he looks dead. But that can’t be the case because she wouldn’t be able to see him, and while dad pushed them in their training, he surely wouldn’t kill them. Right? He wouldn’t do that. He needs them.

She recalls that it’s Five’s personal training day. He had been whisked away after breakfast that morning by dad and Pogo. They hadn’t seen him at dinner. Ben and Vanya had eyed his empty chair through the whole meal. It had been impossible to ignore the missing occupant.

(Why Five is friends with Ben and Vanya Allison doesn’t quite understand. Five is arrogant and smart and he never misses an opportunity to rub it in their faces. He thinks he’s better than everyone and talks back to dad. Vanya and Ben are very much not like that at all. They’re quiet and timid. Really, they shouldn’t be friends, yet here they are.)

"Are you...are you okay?" she asks him.

"I-I'm fine—"

He looks anything but fine. In fact, he looks like he's about to fall apart. Right in front of her.

"You're shaking."

Five's legs seem to be trembling with the effort of holding him upright. Even his arms shake as he uses them to support himself against the wall. His jaw remains tightly clenched. Allsion can't recall ever seeing her brother like this before.

Five is never vulnerable. He never lets himself be. Not in front of them at least. He always acts like he’s invincible. Sharp smiles and a smart mouth. Like nothing will get him down. Like nothing will crack him. (And they believe him.)

"What happened? Was it training?" she asks him.

"Passed out," he tries to explain. "All I need is some rest, and maybe some food."

That, at least, explains why he wasn't at dinner.

“Should I get Vanya? Or Ben?” she asks. “You look like you could use some help.”

Predictably, Five shakes his head. 

Allison frowns. "Let me help you at least," she says.

She's not sure where her sudden desire to help has come from. Normally everything at the Academy is very 'every man for themself'. They've always had to glue themselves back together alone after training.

That doesn't mean that her and Luther hadn't lent a helping hand every now and then. And she surely hasn't missed how Five tends to reach out to them, in his own, special way, when they've had particularly rough days.

Before Five can protest she grabs his arm and lays it over her shoulder, getting a hold of his torso and slowly walking down the hall. Five leans heavily against her as they shuffle forward, nearly stumbling over his own feet multiple times. She pretends not to hear his quiet whimpering.

The stairs are difficult. Allison curses their father for putting Five’s bedroom so high up as she practically carries his weight up. She doesn’t blame him though, as his whole body trembles violently against hers for each step. He’s taller than her - not by much - but he’s also very skinny and gangly.

“It…” Five gasps softly. “It hurts.”

Allison frowns, swallowing heavily. “We’re almost there,” she tells him, even though they still have a flight of stairs left.

She doesn’t say anything about his tear stained cheeks. Just this once, she tells herself. Just this once she won’t tease and make fun of her siblings. Even though they’re all the same age, Allison can’t help but feel like a big sister. Five might be taller than her, but he’s still Number Five, and she’s Three. And three comes before five.

It feels like an eternity, but they eventually make it to Five’s room. Five flops onto his bed, face first. Allison snorts. She takes off his shoes and pushes him further onto the mattress so he doesn’t fall off.

“You said you needed food, right?” she asks.

For a moment Allison thinks Five might have fallen asleep, but he eventually hums at her.

She looks down at her feet, even though he can’t see her from the way his face is pressed against the covers. “Well, since you missed dinner I’ll go see if mom can make you something.”

She leaves before he can answer her.

- - -

On the way down again Allison hears Klaus chatting happily in a room with an ajar door. She looks in. Klaus is laying on the floor, waving his newly painted toe-nails in the air. On the floor is a tipped-over, green nail polish bottle. Over half the contents has spilled out onto the wooden floor.

Allison wants to scream.

“Klaus!”

Klaus jumps. “Christ on a cracker!”

Allison stomps her foot, her hands curled into fists at her sides. Anger bubbles up in her. “You spilled my nail polish!”

He looks down at the bottle. “Oh...sorry.”

“Are you kidding me?!” she shouts. “Klaus, I swear to god—”

Klaus quickly picks the bottle up, wiping the nail polish off the outside of the bottle with his vest. (Mom surely won’t be happy about that.) He quickly screws the cap on and hands it to Allison, looking mildly apologetic. She takes it from his hand with more force than what was probably necessary and stuffs it in her pocket.

“I hate you,” she says. Klaus stares.

Allison lets out a frustrated noise and stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

- - -

Allison walks into Five's room with a plate in her hands ten minutes later. Five is still laying face-down on his bed. The same way as when she had left. She closes the door behind her with a soft click.

"Five?"

She sighs and sets the plate on his nightstand. She shakes him. He groans quietly and slowly turns his head to look at her through bleary eyes.

"I got you food. You better eat it before the bread goes stale."

"Oh," is all he says.

He slowly sits up. He still looks exhausted, but he seems slightly better than before. She places the plate down next to him on the mattress. He picks up the peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich on it and starts eating it. It's disgusting.

Allison grimaces. "How can you eat that?"

Five shrugs lazily.

"Wha' 'appned dow'shtairs?" he asks through a mouthful. He swallows. "Heard you yelling."

Allison sighs and sits down next to him. "It's just…Klaus. He spilled my nail polish."

"Huh," Five says, though he doesn't sound like he cares all that much. "That sucks."

Allison nods, fiddling with her hands in her lap.

Five probably isn’t the best person to confide in. He’s never been good with emotions. Or talking. (There's a reason he never is put in charge when it comes to interviews after all.) But at least he listens. 

“I just—” Allison closes her eyes. “I only have a few, and they’re mine. And Klaus keeps going through my stuff.”

“You know how he is. Klaus is Klaus.”

She sighs. “I know.”

She takes the nail polish bottle out of her pocket and inspects it. It’s still usable at least. There’s still about half of it left. Maybe not quite half, but close enough. She doesn’t even like green that much anyway.

In the aftermath of it all, Allison feels foolish for the way she had reacted. Once the anger had deflated. Maybe she was a bit harsh on Klaus. He didn’t mean to spill it.

she unscrews the cap and, without warning, grabs Five’s free hand. 

“What are you—”

He watches her with raised brows as she carefully starts painting his nails with the green polish. He doesn’t protest, or tell her to stop. Instead he fixes her with a curious stare as he finishes his sandwich.

It takes two coats to make it look okay, the polish a little opaque. It has sparkles in it. Little flakes that shimmers and glitters in the light. Allison can see why Klaus likes this one. It’s pretty nice.

“I think blue would suit you better,” Allison muses. “Not that green doesn’t fit you, I just don’t think it’s your colour, you know?”

Five looks like he does, in fact, not know.

She snorts. “Give me your other hand.”

- - -

The next few days Allison discreetly keeps an eye on Five. He looks better after food and some sleep. A little sore maybe, but much better than when she’d found him. She can’t help but wonder if it’s a normal occurrence if he bounces back so fast. Allison had never thought she noticed everything, but she likes to think she’s fairly perceptive.

She’ll catch his eye every now and then, and his lips will twitch into what looks like a smile. She’s never sure though. It’s always gone before she has time to acknowledge it.

In a lot of ways, it’s as if nothing’s changed since their little moment that day. It’s almost like it never even happened. But the evidence is there. In the form of green painted fingernails.

When Allison steps into her room she notices something on her bed. a small bottle of nail polish. She picks it up and turns it around in her hand. It’s blue. A dark, navy shade of blue. There aren’t any sparkles in it, but it’s still pretty. Even if it’s some unrecognizable drug store brand polish that chips after just a little while.

Allison doesn’t need to be a genius to know where the nail polish came from. She smiles to herself, clutching the bottle in her hand. She places it on her desk, next to her other polishes.

The smile doesn’t leave her face for the rest of the day.

A few weeks later Five runs out the door and doesn’t come back.

#the umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy #tua netflix #number five hargreeves #five hargreeves #number five #allison hargreeves #fics #my fics #mine

[serendipitous-posts]

. . .Ben dying on a mission is good and all, but you know what’s better?

Him committing suicide

I mean from a writing standpoint at least.

Like, it would carry so much weight, this boy who hated his powers, who never wanted to be on missions, finally cracking and killing himself. If he had died on a mission the family would have shattered because they realised they weren’t invincible. But if he had died by his own hands?

Oh Gods.

Because now their brother would have been driven to suicide because their father forced him to commit murder. Because he saw him as an experiment. Luther may have defended it, saying he was probably born with it, but realising that their father drove him to suicide? Yeah they would have split

And instead of going around saying his son died heroically saving others Reginald keeps it quiet, not saying exactly how he died, because he doesn’t wan anyone to know WHY Ben killed himself

It also would add a lot greater weight to his interactions with Klaus, because now we are watching who threw their whole life away try and stop someone else from doing the same.

I dunno. All I could imagine is them all getting into a fight, and Ben pointing out that they’re ruining their own lives, and someone just snaps something like “you can’t judge us for ruining our lives when you took yours” and everyone just. Freezing.

And Vanya never mentioned it in her book how he died, because there’s some things she’s not going to share with the public and that is one of them, so Five never knew, and he’s just like “what?” and Ben’s just like “uh, bye guys” because even Klaus doesn’t bring it up, it is a Forbidden Topic

#umbrella academy #umbrella academy allison #umbrella academy vanya #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #number five #klaus hargreeves #they try and awkwardly talk to him about it #and hes just like nope

[0000507]

Into the Spider-verse, but make it about the Umbrella Academy

Album challenge: Umbrella Academy Edition, i.e. I take a songlist and try and attribute each song to a character.

Song lyrics and (my personal, probably inaccurate) character analysis under the cut. Fair warning, long ass post is long.

So I’m starting this challenge with the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse album because I’ve been listening to it (a lot) lately.

01. What’s Up Danger by Blackway & Black Caviar is, to me, very much a Five song. Like, just check out these lyrics:

Ayy, gettin' old, they doubted us Makes it that more marvelous … Two-hundred miles-per-hour wit' a blindfold on (on) Mama always askin', "Where did I go wrong?" (wrong) What's up, danger? Ah, what's up, danger? Traveled two-hundred miles, I'm knockin' at your door And I don't really care if you ain't done wrong, come on What's up, danger? (Danger) D-don't be a stranger (stranger) I like it when trouble brews, I won't dare change I like it when there's turbulence on my airplanes I like it when I sense things I can't see yet Swimmin' with sharks when they ain't feed yet 'Cause I like high chances that I might lose I like it all on the edge just like you, ayy I like tall buildings so I can leap off of 'em I go hard wit' it no matter how dark it is If I'm crazy, I'm on my own If I'm waitin', it's on my throne If I sound lazy, just ignore my tone 'Cause I'm always gonna answer when you call my phone Like, what's up, danger? (Danger) Like, what's up, danger? Can't stop me now I said, "I got you now" I'm right here at your door I won't leave, I want more What's up, danger?

02. Next up we have Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee which, to be honest, gives me such heavy Vanya vibes I can’t even. More so due to the song itself than the lyrics, but they’re still pretty accurate. That smooth af sound, tho.

Give me a reason to (to, to) Oh, every time I'm walkin' out (ayy) I can hear you tellin' me to turn around Fightin' for my trust and you won't back down Even if we gotta risk it all right now, oh (now) I know you're scared of the unknown (known) You don't wanna be alone (alone) I know I always come and go (and go) But it's out of my control And you'll be left in the dust Unless I stuck by ya

03. Next we have Way Up by Jaden Smith, which, despite being a boppin’ song, really didn’t remind me of anyone in particular until I really sat down and read the lyrics. So I’m going to attribute this one (tentatively) to all of the seven, though I’m leaning a little heavier towards Luther than the rest. 

I went from boy to a man, wow (man) Opposition had to stand down Man I had to make a perfect plan, now I'm on the wave (Wave, wave, wave) I had to fight for the city (for the city) I had to fight for the people (for the people) You gotta do what all leaders do (go) Everyone here, we believe in you (yeah) Know you can be a hero 'cause we seen you do it (woo) And this is the time that we needin' you (you) Everyone is here to see you move (move) Winnin', we winnin', we winnin' (we winnin') We put a world on a wave (wave) And every time you swinging through the city You are the saving the day (let's go) ... We had to fight for the town (town) Now there's no villains allowed ('lowed) Everyone cheer in the crowd But I'm still way up, I'm over the clouds (clouds) We had to fight for the city (city) Competition was lethal (lethal) Honestly it's no biggie (biggie) I had to do what all leaders do ... They always hate on us, but they can't do it without us Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, we out here cleanin' the streets (streets) We don't accept the defeat ('feat) We keep on going until we win (win) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all of 'em weak in the knees (knees) Deer in headlights when they freeze (freeze) But we keep on going until we win

04. Familia by Nicki Minaj & Anuel AA ft. Bantu is, without a single doubt, representative of all of the Hargreeves siblings. Full stop.

Father, father, unforgivable This is my house, you made it personal It's always trouble when they go too far Nobody mess with my familia Father, father, could you bless his soul? He talking crazy, I may lose control

05. The lyrics don’t necessarily fit in some places, but the general tone and feel of Invincible by Amine still makes it a Luther song in my book.

I wanna, I wanna fly right now I wanna see all my homies get down I wanna feel like I can't come down I got a dream so I can't stop now I gotta stop feeling invisible And start feeling invincible Hate feeling impossible The hardest thing is believing in your dreams Stop feeling invisible And start feeling invincible Hate feeling impossible The hardest thing is believing in your dreams I feel like a stranger to myself And sometimes that feels dangerous But I'll bet you'll see me For who I truly am, maybe not if it wasn't bland Some days I look in mirrors and I wonder who's that man

06. Start a Riot by DUCKWRTH & Shaboozey is Diego’s official anthem don’t @ me. The dude probably blasts this when he’s taking down bad guys. A bit of shade, a bit of bass, I can fully see Diego rocking to this song. 

When I say, "Brooklyn, stand up" (stand up) You better just fix your posture And every hero needs his theme song So, who in here tryna You ain't got a chance, boy What you think? (Huh?) I thrown in everything but the kitchen sink (yeah) I try to be friendly in the neighborhood (okay) I know all the little grannies wanna sip they tea (yeah) And here you come, all barging in (huh?) All ugly like a brown fur cardigan We receive the monologue and the arguing I'm like who in here tryna start a riot? … If you bump that action, it don't matter Just let me know, oh, know Make way (make way) I'm comin' through With my crew to make 'em pay I don't need no super suit I'm feelin' brave Don't be a hero Turn around and walk away … Every day is like a sticky situation When evil's looking for a chance (for a chance, ooh) And I know we are the newest generation (newest, newest) We got the power in our hands

07. Hide by Juice WRLD ft. Seezyn is, for me, all about Allison and how having and losing Claire changed her as a person. This is a more sorrowful song, but I still think it fits her. Slow, more laid back, but still heartfelt.

She made me leave the thrills at home And I'm fine with it She really made me lose control I'ma let my love unfold We're just two lost souls But we're fine with it There's love at my front door, short notice You're not like the same girls I notice Think I met my soul mate Yeah, I know it When it gets dark outside In you I confide You help me face my demons I won't hide, hide Girls like you are hard to find I hope you don't mind If I give you the time of your life … Life is not the same With your pictures in my frame Now that you're here I want nothing to change You pick me up when I'm down I need you around You seen me through my darkest times Girl, is there something that you try to find? You brought meaning to my life All because of you, I do right Because of you, I have a purpose Fight for the world, because you're worth it

08. Oof, this next song. Despite having a nice little lo-fi beat and a lighter sound going on, in the context of his experiences I really do think that Memories by Thutmose personifies Ben (both the Umbrella and Sparrow versions) and, to an extension, Klaus (seeing as dead!Ben can only interact with the world through him). 

My memories came back In the form of someone else … Memories It's gon' take some getting used to Memories Feel the pain when it hits you Memories Don't you ever let them fool you Don't you ever let them fool you 'Cause I know that you know that it ain't true I learned the hard way about trust About us, about us You sin and be on your high horse We're not so stable anymore What's left if I give you my all?

09. Save The Day by Ski Mask The Slump God & Jacquees ft. Coi Leray & lougotcash was a tough one, because the sound really didn’t fit in with anyone and I wasn’t really feeling it in regards to the group at large, but then I started digging into the lyrics and...

I pull up and save the day Don't want any problems, I'll be a call away I'm ready for action, fly without a cape I'm one of those ones, they'll never beat me

Okay, fair enough, this one can go into the “All” category. But, y’all, when I tell you I felt my soul ascend when I read this line:

You could still be adopted even though you a sibling

I am positive this song represent all of the siblings, now.

10. It’s time for the angst track, everybody. And let me tell you that Let Go by Beau Young Prince has the reverb, the tone, and the soul crushing lyrics for the job. It’s universal angst, too, because this could honestly apply to any of the seven.

Sometimes I don't really know myself Devil on my back, pray for me, need help Angel in the front tryna guide my steps Who do you call when you need some help? Who do you call when you by yourself? Who do you call when you feel down low? I just wanna scream, I just wanna explode … Violence in the streets, I just wanna calm the beast All these problems I'm just fightin' with myself are enemies Looking for my peace while I'm (Looking for my peace while I'm) I just wanna swing and fly away (fly away) I just wanna see a better day (yeah) I just wanna soar and never drown (never drown) I'm looking for my happiness now (now) I just wanna swing and fly away (fly away) I just wanna see a better day (a better day) I just wanna soar and never drown (drown) I'm looking for my happiness now, yeah

11. Scared of the Dark by Lil Wayne & Ty Dolla $ign ft XXXTENACION is one of those tracks that immediately hooks you, pulls you in, and then sucker punches you in the feelings. With that in mind, in both a literal and figurative sense, this song is all about Klaus.

I'm not scared of the dark I'm not running, running, running No, I'm not afraid of the fall I'm not scared, not at all Why would a star, a star ever be afraid of the dark? I'm not scared I'm not scared, even from the start I'm not scared of the dark Of the dark, mmm Tunechi I ain't never scared and I ain't never horrified I just look down at my Rolex, it said it's the darkest times I ain't never terrified, I ain't never petrified You know I see dead people, I just tell 'em, "Get a life" I ain't never scurred, I'm not sure if that's a word, but I mean every word, feelin' like, "Do not disturb, " wait … You know I can read your mind like I'm the author There's a line for tomorrow and that line's gettin' shorter I'm behind the trigger, what if I am the target? Deep sigh, a sayōnara, I ain't afraid to die It's either goodbye or good mornin', and the skies start to fallin' And I'ma shine in the darkness

12. Elevate by DJ Khalil ft. Denzel Curry, YBN Cordae, SwaVay & Trevor Rich has that kind of upbeat tone, can-do attitude, and fun tempo that immediately makes me want to see a scene where the Hargreeves siblings fight a bunch of baddies (together) to this song.

No millimeter, this is my arena I'm the black widow with a bad stinger And I'll make you scream like a bad singer I'm everything that you wanna be plus more Since there's no heroes anymore Jump out the window, then put the mask on Who the bad man that a man gotta bash on? … They will slander me, I just plan to be Somethin' powerful for my family Tried to balance life and my sanity Show a different side of humanity So amazin', keep appraisin' Save you from a home invasion Chasin' robbers from the bank … When the light shine, I go python I've fallen, on my last lifeline There's no way in my right mind My city up on my back tight How can I possibly act right? I'm Robin Hood, I'm the Black Knight I know you heard 'bout my last fight 'Cause I win, over and over again Battlin' evil, I'm hopin' to win Fightin' my demons, I'm nice for a reason Enticed with the bleedin', I'm showin' my sins How can you expect me to stay sane? Protect me My technique go X speed on high waves and jet skis I jump off this building to save these civilians My strength and my honor is trusted by children I'm ready and willing to fight all these villains No chaos or killings, my style is so brilliant … I may have lost the battle but I will not lose the war I can promise you I will not lose this time

13. And finally, Home by Vince Staples has a soulful kind of sound to it that, combined with the lyrics, reminds me that Five will quite literally do anything, endure anything, kill anything, to get back to and protect his family. It also has a kind of epic choral-esque start and finish to it that felt really nice to listen to.

This morning I woke up in a fortress of distortion I'm at war with my emotions, I'm at war with they enforcement Tryna fight for what's right and got sidetracked Where your mind at? Never mind that Can we think in a blink, you swimmin', you sinkin' You win, you leavin' a head where I've loaded my weapon I stay with my brethren, I pay for protection My prey in my sight so I'm doing what's right and not askin' no questions I wanna be home free Where's one that was lonely? But I'm ready and waitin' For my day of salvation, and I'm patient I'm coming home now I'm coming home … Right where I belong now Right where I belong They looking for saviors, I'm looking for safety They never gon' break me, take me Down on my knees, believe I'm never gon' beg or plead Yeah, I never say never, but I guarantee Gather my strength, goin' hard in the paint Paint you a picture, it's put on display I'm gonna get, they don't give then I take Can't take me down now My feet on the ground now Fight 'til I'm down now Say it out loud now Say it out loud, are you ready for war?

And there you have it. If anyone has any suggestions or questions about this challenge feel free to wander into my ask box.

- 57

#the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #tua #tua luther #tua diego #tua allison #tua klaus #tua five #tua ben #tua vanya #horrance #alluther #fiveya #song lyrics #song list #album challenge #into the spider-verse #umbrella academy #my stuff

[moonexile]

when five disappeared,  i think that luther was silently panicking at that table.  too afraid to take his eyes off reginald,  anxiously awaiting for some order from him.  he’s the leader,  so he expected reginald to look to him for a solution,  to tell him to go look for him and bring him home or anything.  or maybe he was waiting for the opposite,  assuming reginald would tell him to NOT go after him.  either way,  he couldn’t tell what he was supposed to do and reginald never giving him any sort of order left him feeling very lost over it  ---  because they had never lost anyone before,  and they had never prepared for this.  so where does that leave luther and how he’s supposed to protect his siblings following that?

luther doesn’t understand what happened to five;  he doesn’t know that he actually did time travel or that he was stuck somewhere.  he really just thought he ran away.  which made him angry,  because unlike the others,  he hadn’t really understood that the way reginald was treating them wasn’t fair  ---  so he couldn’t fathom why someone would want to leave this,  because he thought it was their destiny and something good.  so why was five being so stubborn and fighting with dad,  why was it so bad that he chose to leave them all behind instead of trying to make it work? 

it’s the beginning of luther’s abandonment issues  ---  after five leaves,  he doesn’t really cope with his true devastation over it until the rest of his family leaves years later,  because it all comes back to them then  (  they wanted out of this house and away from their duties as superheroes;  they think life is better out there than it is for them in here.  isn’t that what five did?  was he happier?  will they be?  )  

as he started to become more aware that five was not returning,  he started to resent him;  he was angry that he chose the world outside over his family and his team,  mostly because luther did not understand that the outside world was even an option for them so he never even considered it.  he believes they should all stick together,  and to be left behind doesn’t feel fair.  and that resentment he feels towards five probably comes out to his other siblings,  and he starts getting a little meaner with them because he is just so confused and can’t properly deal with his feelings.  he feels like five decided he didn’t want to be there anymore and he is so terrified of the others discovering the same thing that he gets short with them and doesn’t know how to communicate with them for a while because the thought of losing anyone else is just too terrifying.

he loves five and cares for him so much.  he always had a deep respect for five in the way that he was so smart but also in the way that he could adapt  (  reginald praised him for it,  and luther followed his lead.  )  he knew how valuable five was to their team but also cared for him so much as a brother.  he held a lot of resentment for him for leaving but he didn’t truly know what happened.  if he did understand,  he would have tried to find a way to get to him  ---  even though luther doesn’t have that ability.  he never wanted to lose anyone and it was always possible,  especially on missions;  he just thought that maybe they were invincible.  learning that they’re not is his biggest fear.

#hc. #the way that no one talks about him after he disappears makes me so sad they all desperately need to talk about their feelings #losing five vs. losing ben is such a different reaction for him #:(

[opalstream]

Affirmation

Today I will cultivate initiative. The man of initiative creates something from nothing ; he makes the impossible possible by the great inventive power of Spirit.

Create Something From Nothing - Make the Impossible Possible - Burbank and Edison Had Extraordinary Initiative

The man of initiative is as glorious as a shooting star - creating something from nothing making the impossible possible by the great inventive power of the Spirit...The best or most extraordinary quality of initiative is that which makes you stand out before the world in a blazing flame, like a Burbank or an Edison. Those were men of invincible initiative, spiritual initiative. Was God partial to these great men, that they possessed this particular greatness? Were they chosen by Divine Will to take so much glory? No. They simply used their initiative to bring forth the greatness and glory that is every man’s birthright as a immortal child of God. Those who look for personal glory are never great; inflated with pride, they lack any real support from God. Those who enjoy giving - whether it be strength, courage, music, art - are great men.

-Paramahansa Yogananda, Man’s Eternal Quest p 354; Affirmation, 102.

Luther Burbank:

“Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.”

“I see humanity now as one vast plant, needing for its highest fulfillment only love, the natural blessings of the great outdoors, and intelligent crossing and selection.”

“The scientist is a lover of truth for the very love of truth itself, wherever it may lead.”

Thomas Edison:

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.”