#this is purely self indulgent but feel free to read if u want

[fleursbending]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. | Sully Family

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 : "You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." Sully! Reader to Sully! Parents? Just a fluffy family fic please

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : sully!family x sully!daughter

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : becoming one with the metkayina's has not been an easy task. as everyone continues to settle in their own ways, your family begins to grow more worried about your well-being. this isn't the sully they know. you're withdrawn, and quiet. what better way to fix that than to seek you out when you least expect it?

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : hi if you're confused so am i! there were issues when i first posted this so i am reposting it again. thank you for the love on the previous one though! // trust me this is fluffy 😭 just have to go through a lil angst to get to that part <33 this is purely a self-indulgent hurt/comfort fic! didn't fully proofread this btw! pls feel free to reblog and leave your thoughts in the comments.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : bullying, discrimination, angst but fluff at the end, descriptions of loneliness, hurt/comfort, you're gonna wish even more that u were a sully after reading this.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3.2k words

𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 : hiiiiii my luvs you can read part 2: here !🙏🏼

The ocean was not your friend, you could only look at the endless channel of water in disdain. This was far too daunting for you, you liked the little rivers or ponds back at home. The sealife while beautiful, petrified you.

You missed the lush greens and the smell of the dew from the occasional rain back in the jungle. It was easy to forget your responsibilities, not that you had as many as your other siblings. Being the second youngest Sully had its perks. Not older than Lo'ak, and not younger than Tuk.

The "expeditions" you went on now made you look like a fool. You didn't know the terrain here, how to navigate fluidly through the water like Tsireya, Ao'nung, or Roxto.

Each passing day your siblings got better at managing to hold their breath, and riding their Ilu's. But you were still stuck in the past.

It felt reality kept kicking you in the face. Your stubborn self was annoyed as well. Holding a grudge against your family. It seemed like no one missed home. You understood why your parents made the decision they did, but it didn't make the act of doing so hurt any less.

At least you had these quiet moments before your thoughts ran rampant to practice your breathing.

You were suddenly interrupted from your twisting thoughts when a nudge was directed at your head.

It was Ao'nung and his crew.

"Leave me alone." You hissed at them, not wanting to deal with their bullshit today.

"Leave me alone." Ao'nung mocked you as he tugged on your tail.

You quickly stood up, looking to see if any of your family were close by. They weren't. You were supposed to be back in the Mauri but once again, you lost track of time.

"No one is here to help you, Y/n."

They grabbed your hand, poking insults at you and your family. You knew better than to talk back, especially if no one was here to help you out. It was 4 against 1. So instead you bit your lip and kept your mouth shut.

"Roxto, are you there?" His mother called from around the corner, startling the goonies.

"You're in luck, scram!" Ao'nung hissed at you.

Eyes widening, you stumbled as you rushed back to your Mauri. You didn't dare look back at your tormentors.

Once you were a few steps away, you slowed your pace. Catching your breath, before making your way inside.

The worried chatter of your family halted when you made your presence.

Neytiri stopped pacing, moving over to you and grabbing your face in her hands.

"Ewya help me before I lose it. Where have you been? You're 15 minutes late! I was about to send your brothers out to look for you."

Had it really been that long?

"I'm sorry." You looked down in shame. It's weird being on the brunt end of the stick. Even your parents have grown more accustomed to having to tell you off rather than Lo'ak. It was definitely odd.

"You didn't answer your mother's question, where have you been?" Jake didn't like being stern with you, but you being late to dinner had been happening more regularly.

You used to be a stickler for these dinners, being the one to push for them. How everyone had to be in attendance, and on time. It was family bonding time, moments to catch up on what everyone had done that day.

"Just around, I was with my Ilu - I'm sorry." You looked down to the Mauri's floor, unable to meet your father's eyes. It was hard lying to him.

Neteyams eyebrows arched in confusion, he had just been with his Ilu. You were nowhere in sight. He decided to let it slide this time, but he couldn't help but wonder where you snuck off too.

"Alright well, you really got to keep track of time yeah. You used to love these dinners!"

"Yes, and I still do!" You answered too quickly, not missing a beat.

If Jake wasn't suspicious before, he certainly was now. But like Neteyam, he decided to let it slide. Your brothers had told him and Neytiri how you've been struggling to catch up and learn everything in the lessons.

That was partially it, but if only he was aware of the bigger picture.

Jake nodded, looking to Neytiri. She also held a look of concern, but Jake made a silent signal that basically stated:

"We shouldn't push it, not now."

"Well, let's eat before the food gets even colder." Neytiri ushered her kids over, keeping a close eye on you.

Your family gathers around the food that was already set, and start eating. As all your siblings chatted excitedly about the activities they've done throughout the day. You didn't say a thing, not even piping in.

Neytiri and Jake once again met gazes, thinking the same thing.

Something's wrong with our daughter.

Soon dinner was over and it was time to rest, as your family rested together you couldn't help yourself as you removed Tuk's arm that clung to your shoulder.

Maneuvering your way outside, you jumped into the water. Why sleep when you can practice again?

Before Eclipse ended you made sure to squeeze the excess water out of your hair and made yourself comfortable alongside your family. Your body ached and could no longer fight off your sleep deprivation. But it was worth it, you could hold your breath a lot longer now under water.

From then on, it gradually got worse. Even your siblings would struggle to find you throughout the day. You'd take longer naps through the day, and Lo'ak knew you were sneaking out at night. Your essence seemed to further rid itself from you, and all that was left was a hollow shell of yourself.

They too, shared similar thoughts with their parents. No longer could they see you dwindle away. It didn't sit right with them, you're a Sully through and through. Sully's stick together.

So they did what they know best and was most accessible to them, track.

Instead this time they weren't on a hunt, or looking for what was to be a good meal for their clan. They were following the steps of their baby sister.

If you stepped out of your brain for a moment, you would have immediately clocked them. But once again, Y/n was shut in her own bubble.

"Bro, don't you find it weird that she hasn't realised we are here?" Lo'ak whispered as he looked at you behind the leaves keeping them hidden.

"Shut up, Lo'ak" Neteyam grumbled. He didn't want to agree even if his words held some truth.

"Hey, I have to agree with him. We shouldn't have been able to get this far. She's usually far too hyperaware of her surroundings." Kiri observed you, stunned and clueless.

They'd never been to this part of Awa'atlu before. They'd been so fixated on the ocean. They had yet to really explore the area that surrounded their new home. It oddly felt like they were waltzing through their past.

At last, you came upon your tree. You liked it because it had a specific branch that you could curve into. Blend in, and be one with your surroundings. Like you had used to do before in the jungle. This was now your next best option.

Your siblings looked in confusion at one another, not understanding how this could be the reason you've been periodically gone. Did you spend all your time here?

But then it came.

It was barely there, and you were struggling to catch your breath. The cries.

It strikes through the serene sounds of the waves crashing against the shore, and the nearby insects chirping.

Your sibling's ears flattened as they looked at each other in sheer worry. You were a spitfire, but you had always been calm and collected. The physical embodiment of the word warm. Happiness was always with you. So where did it all go wrong?

"Great mother, I fear that I am not good enough. I thought consistency was key, I've been trying to practice anytime I can. But I'm so tired. I've never felt this weak and useless?" You mumbled to yourself, looking up into the sky.

Groaning in frustration, you continued. "Maybe Ao'nung was right. I will never be one of the people. I will always be too alien. I will never be able to live up to my family."

Lo'ak enraged by the doubts you had voiced stepped out from their cover.

Your ears tuned into the noise, you finally tuned into your senses and became more alert. As you hopped off the branch, hastily wiping your tears.

"Brother." You choked out, lips trembling.

He took slow steps towards you, trying to soothe you as he brought you into a hug.

"Baby sister," he said so quietly, solemnly.

You couldn't remember the last time he hugged you, and neither he could he. It wore his heart down, seeing you in such a vulnerable state.

Soon the presence of more arms wrapped around you both, clinging onto you - securing you in their grasps. For the first time in a long time, tenderness surged through you.

"We've got you, Y/n. You're going to be alright. Let it all out now." Neteyam who was at your right side gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead, muttering to himself - "Oh my baby sister."

Kiri had never felt such pain from you, it came off in waves. And it almost debilitated her. In that moment, it was the most protective she had felt for you. It synced through all of them, a fire had awaken in the pit of their souls - so fierce that even Toruk Makto would flinch from it.

Slowly your breaths began to ease, and your tense shoulders slumped down. It was emotionally taxing having had all these emotions balled up inside you. Now it was unraveling, and it felt all too bittersweet.

Your siblings sensing this, mellowed out on their group hug they were giving you. Moving over, you all settled down against the tree you've been confiding in moments before.

Tuk grabbed your hand while Kiri tucked your intricate braids behind your ears. You mouthed a "thank you", leaning your head on her shoulder.

All it took was Neteyam to ask a very simple question, "What's been going on, baby sister?"

And once your mouth opened, you decided - why not just let them in on everything? So you did.

You told them about how ashamed and humiliated you had felt when you started lagging behind. How Ao'nung and his friends would tease you whenever they had the chance to do. (It was always away from prying eyes). Due to that, it only made the feelings of hatred you harbored for yourself - increase a tenth-fold.

A deliberately belligerent cycle was born. Self-doubt equated to "I will push myself to the brink of exhaustion". You'd seek out your family thinking they'd have noticed. But they were too caught up in their own commitments to realise your intentions.

All you wanted was for any of them to see the hard work you had been pouring in to adapting here. But how could they when you always lingered on the outskirts?

Late to dinner, late to the lessons, never seen. They couldn't appreciate what was in front of them because they hadn't witnessed it themselves. How utterly ironic.

"I see why you didn't, but I wish you had told us, Y/n. We could have helped you." Kiri insisted as she patted your head.

"I know." You grumbled, but you were grateful for how attentive they are to you.

"Ao'nung will pay." Lo'ak seethed, completely shifting the topic of conversation.

Neteyam rolled his eyes and interjected. "He will, but not in the way you are seeing it in your mind right now. We have to go to dad and mum about this."

Your irritated eyes widened, leaping up from where your back had laid against the tree. Y/n scowled at Neteyam, her tail flicking in anguish. No, not her parents.

"Absolutely not, 'Teyam. They mustn't know anything of this." You countered him, disbelief flooding your features. Your parents would only perceive you as a failure, and that was the last thing you could stomach right now.

Neteyam stood up by you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. He shook his head at you and gave you one of his brotherly grins.

"Baby sister, they are just as worried as we are." He looked behind you, and urged you to turn around.

Oh great mother, that could only mean one thing.

Ember crashed on ember, one filled with panic, and two filled with distraught. The tension was taut, but all your parents wanted to do was cradle you in their arms like they had in your first few months of life.

"Kids, back to the Mauri." Jake ordered them, pointing back to where it was.

"But dad-" Lo'ak butted in, worriedly looking at you.

"It's okay. Thank you, Lo'ak." You coaxed him to join your siblings who were also hesitating a little.

They disappeared amongst nature, and their footsteps grew fainter and fainter. Until all that was left was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. It felt oddly comforting being in their company even though doubt was eating you up from the inside.

It's been a while.

Neytiri was the first to approach you, her hands shook as she cradled your face. She took you in for the first time in weeks, and this time she was able to do it properly. Lately, she'd only been able to admire you whilst you sleep, or during meals.

In the morning you'd be gone in a blink of an eye. Throwing a haphazard, "I'll see you later", over your shoulder.

She missed you profoundly, so much that it physically pained her sometimes. Neytiri treasured you deeply, to put it bluntly - her heart felt like it'd been slashed by a Thanotor ever since you started pushing yourself away.

Jake followed in his mate's footsteps. His eye's tearing into your soul and trying to catch if there had been any distinct changes that have occurred to you.

"You don't look like yourself." Jake stumbled on his words.

Neytiri hissed, smacking your dad on the back of his head. A slight giggle escaped you that made both of their hearts sing. "Ma jake."

"Sorry." He mumbled, giving you a cheeky grin.

Y/n's doubts were already melting away before she herself could even acknowledge it. She grabbed both her parent's hands, leading them over to her tree not too far away from where they had been standing.

Mimicking how she and her siblings were just before. She settled against the tree again, bringing her parents down with her.

The trio admired their surroundings, taking in the wonders of Pandora. Especially Jake, and Neytiri. This is the closest they've felt to something akin to the jungle they'd once inhabited.

"I'm sure you heard everything, and it is true. I am sorry if I've disappointed you guys. I thought I could manage it all on my own."

Neytiri played with your hair and could only chastise your words. "You did not disappoint us, if anything - you infuriated us. We were just worried about you, our dear daughter."

Jake nodded in agreement. "We love you, and we want to be there for you. We will if you allow us. That's what we are here for. You don't need to fight these battles alone. Remember what I told you, baby girl?"

You rolled your eyes and pushed your dad away from you jokingly.

"It's us against the world." You mumbled.

Jake teasingly put a hand to his ear. "I'm sorry? What was that? I couldn't hear you."

Neytiri let out a soft laugh at you two's antics, watching with endearment sparkling in her eyes.

Clearing your throat, you reiterated your words. "It's us against the world."

Jake did extravagant hand motions, "More enthusiasm please!"

You were beaming, yelling out, "It's us against the world!"

"That's right baby, it is." Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulders bringing you to his side. Neytiri instinctively leaned against you both.

Y/n couldn't help but admire her parents. They were her foundation, her protectors. She couldn't believe that she used to be ashamed of being a Sully. It was her legacy, one she is only beginning to pave. She wasn't about to let Na'vi who didn't truly know her, dictate her life any longer.

"You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." You started, staring at your parents.

"I just - I couldn't catch up. There are so many other bigger things to worry about, and I thought.. I don't know. That I'd overcome this. I tried to love the ocean and the people. But I miss home. I miss everything that was green, now it's just all blue! That's actually why I like this place so much." You rambled, arms waving erratically. It felt gratifying to get it off your chest, especially to the two people you have wanted to tell from the get-go.

Your parents nodded, taking all your words in. But they were still conflicted. Their daughter had a competitive nature like no other, every time the world pushed her down - she always got back up. If you were lagging behind so much, you would have just pushed yourself more. Work extra hard, and seek help from your family.

But you haven't done any of that this time. All the means necessary she could have used as a stepping stone were left out of this equation. Instead, you had suffered in silence.

"You know, Y/n. It's not your fault for feeling like you don't belong. But you are one of us. You are Sully, you are the embodiment of strong heart. It does not matter what others say to you when no one else is there. It does not matter that you have 5 fingers." Neytiri protested, sighing.

She made sure you were looking at her, hearing her.

"What matters is how you control how it affects you. You are still growing, baby. This is a lesson you will remember for a lifetime and the next." Neytiri advised you, squeezing your hand.

"Your mother is right. At the end of the day, the power is in your hands. So use it, sweetheart. Follow your heart, and let us know next time if it gets a little too much. Alright?" Jake expanded on what Neytiri had told you.

You looked down at their hands holding yours. Yeah, Sully's really do stick together. And you wouldn't trade that for anything else in this world and all the other's orbiting you.

"Alright." Y/n restated, tugging both of her parents up with her. They stared at their child with confusion.

"Let's go back home." This time what you threw over your shoulder to them was a sweet smile, dimples and all.

Neytiri and Jake spoke with only their eyes as they let Y/n guide them back to their Mauri.

Our daughter is going to be just fine.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ˳೫˚

bonus:

Y/n's laughter could be heard inside the Mauri as she played in the water with Tuk just in front of their home.

Jake turned to Lo'ak and Neteyam who were doing some chores.

He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'll turn a blind eye if you decide to give Ao'nung a beating or two. Just for today." Jake mentioned, before going back to cleaning his gun.

Lo'ak had a devious grin, rubbing his knuckles together, "Yes Sir."

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡

#junie's library 📚✧.* #atwow #neteyam sully x reader #avatar the way of water #avatar x reader #jake sully x daughter!reader #atwow spoilers #neytiri x daughter!reader #neteyam x reader #avatar #avatar 2 #sully family x reader #sully family #kiri x reader #lo'ak x reader #avatar imagine #neytiri x reader #jake sully x reader

[marshmallowloves]

So if it isn't obvious I have been falling deeper into Raiden hell fkdhg BUT I'm also slightly...conflicted?? This is mostly me brainstorming solutions out loud so I'm sticking it under a read more, feel free to read the text wall below if you want fjdhgh

So I have two characters for MK: Sia, the self insert, who looks and acts like me; and Rina, the OC, who is decidedly unlike me, and in fact quite far removed from myself. Important context, however, is that Sia is the lingering spirit of Rina, so they're...kind of the same person?

I shipped Sia with Kenshi - I fell in love with him first, and at the time saw Raiden as more of a guiding figure and acquaintance. However, said guidance is integral to Sia's story, as Raiden is the first to suspect that she was born from Rina. I thought it would be neat to make Rina be an old love of Raiden's, long before Sia existed, and for him to see a lot of her in Sia, thereby wanting to protect her (not necessarily romantic though). Not only to give Raiden a partner too (felt a little bad leaving him alone gkdhg) but also just 'cause I think it fits nicely with the whole story.

I put a lot of thought into these two ships. But eventually I started wanting to actually selfship with Raiden, and became...sort of conflicted about it fkdhg.

The idea of shipping Sia with him felt weird because she's already with Kenshi (nevermind the fact that I already have another poly ship that I am fine with and love gkdhg). And I didn't wanna just nix Rina for another self insert because of how much I already developed her relationship with Raiden.

I...think I came up with a solution? Maybe? So for some reason, nowadays when I picture selfship stuff with Raiden, I've been picturing my actual, normal human self - not Sia or Rina. I thought maybe I can put her in...but in the modern day?

I was thinking maybe this new S/I is a mortal that Raiden ends up falling in love with, ages and ages after Rina has died. Maybe outliving Rina is part of the reason he refuses to get too closely involved with mortals, like his brother does, because he knows he'll eventually lose them as well (and especially wants to avoid the heartache that comes with losing a lover).

But then a little human starts dropping by his temple. She shows such a pure interest in his companionship, and he sees in her a lot of the traits shared by Rina and Sia - softness, kindness, compassion, empathy, diplomacy - and he finds it hard to not feel something back, an intense need to protect this human who's suddenly become so precious to him. Maybe she helps him open back up to the idea of interacting more with mortals. And maybe he fights the temptation to indulge in romance for a long while, before finally giving in and confessing his own feelings.

But he had closed himself off from getting familiar with mortals for so long, it's like he's forgotten everything about how this works. And likewise, the human has no idea what to expect from romantic involvement with a god. So they'll both be learning, and he cherishes their precious time together, even knowing it will be much shorter for her.

...or something like that, maybe. I dunno, there's just something very comforting and soft about the idea of a god like Raiden loving a normal mortal woman that I've been liking more and more lately -u-

#I just wanna be the one to love the thunder god and not have it be weird gkfkgh #marshmallow melts #Raiden

[a-nybodys]

ok im very much in A Mood rn, so im gonna put what i hope will happen/think might happen in s3 under the cut just so if they happen i can point them out and say i told u so (spoilers from set photos/videos under cut)

ok so first off is dead klaus, weve got little girl on bike confirmed for two episodes already, a cemetary scene, and a title that is german for 'goodbye for now' so like...... obv its gonna happen. ive been thinking (even before the cryptic dirt comment on twitter) that the sibs are gonna have a sad/emotional funeral-ish thing for him maybe thats what sad allison storyboard is from), bury him and hes gonna have to dig himself back out. maybe he gets stuck in afterlife for longer because hes actively trying to not go back/see dave or brelly ben/smthn like that. oh also hes dying in a prev episode as well, because in my opinion the leaked set scene of the bikers carrying a body to a dumpster, dumping the body, and leaving all while klaus in green is watching is klaus "astral projecting" (when hes doing it in the comics hes highlighted in green) while his body is dumped. (maybe someone else is possessing him because his stunt double is moving while green klaus is still standing there???)

most sparrows dying, tho i hope fei and sloane live cus i think theyre neat so far. ben will probably live too, might be convinced to join with the brellies going into season 4??? that would make an interesting dynamic for sure.

lila time shenanigans before meeting back up with brellies. maybe lots of character development while away, even if it only takes a short time to the brellies. could be the episode opening flashback possibly. maybe shes seeking out the other 43 kids??

flashbacks to everyone else's birth whether this means the sparrows or umbrellas i just wanna see more miraculous births.) there is a woman cast as 'screaming woman on subway' and in the comics the miraculous births were shown by a baby being born on the subway. shes def ben's mom, i would like a smash cut of all the rest of the brellies being born intercepted with that, but more likely that scene is gonna be the opening to episode 1 of s3, to parallel s1's opening with vanya's mom. altho there was a berlin wall set leaked while shooting, which could be a flashback to 80s germany for a klaus birth 👀 (or luther but id prefer klaus lmao)

i would LOVE to see the brellies alternate selves, tho im not sure its that likely to happen lmao.

mothers of agony plotline, though i think the FULL full plotline of it might be a bit too dark for the show....... they might pare that back a bit cus forced possession prostitu/tion for klaus is a bit much to show on screen imo. tbh 'auf wiedersehen' could also be a line in show when klaus leaves the bikers to die out in the desert?? idk that would be fun, but i do think its a reference to dead klaus (probably from od like in the comics with the mothers of agony plotline)

hotel oblivion is DEF happening, though to what extent is a mystery. cars with the logo were seen on set, as well as filing outside of a hotel with a bellhop. im hoping its very trippy with horror elements, and also have some easter eggs with villians from the comics.

also just to get it out of the way heres what im 99.99% sure the sparrows powers are: marcus-invincibility, we got a muscle emoji as a hint, but they wouldnt make two characters have the same power; fei- can turn into/see through flock of birds, pretty much her comic power, though idk if they go full on 'change into flock of birds' like in the comics; alphonso- human voodoo doll, whatever injury he inflicts on himself he can push onto someone else, same as fei its just his comic power, but the scarification def suggests theyre following the comics on that front; sloane- could be flying/levitating/making other things/people levitate or fly too. she feels 'tied down' so flight is probable; jayme- i think she inhereted the 'emits a powerful beam from face' from the comics tbh. her 'fear-inducing snarl' sounds similar enough for me lol; christopher- we were basically already told his powers: lower the temperature and make people scared lmao.

im hoping so dearly we get some good good gender talk from vanya (and klaus preferrably but probably not). just want some honest gender talk from elliot in the show lmao. would love to see a nonbinary/trans vanya

DAVE we need dave okay. i saw someone mention a hardware store seen on set (which i havent seen??? if anyone has pics i would love to see) which could DEF mean old dave which i will not be able to handle in the best angstiest way. give me all the 'right person always the wrong time' for klave (but also please end with them together)

and finally, as a reward for reading this far, a playlist i made of songs i want in season 3

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4hmjlayoZhfjU8lG1Ma1k5?si=3c2dd7aa4bc342fa

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #this is purely self indulgent but feel free to read if u want #tua #the umbrella academy #tua s3 speculation #tua s3 spoilers #tua s3 #tua season 3

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Damon Salvatore - NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: Sex, Oral, Cursing, Fetishes, Masturbation

Ever want to know the intimate details of Damon Salvatore? Well this passage explores and explains Damon's, weaknesses, turns on and secrets.

Damon Salvatore is a very sexual person, if you're not comfortable with it, I would not continue.

Requested: @proseofpandemonium

I hope you like it !

A= Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Damon would love to see you a mess after sex. He get up from the bed and look at you, knowing you were under his control after what he just did to you. You both would be sweaty and completely out of breath. Total smell of sex in the air.

B= Body Part (Their favourite body part of their partners)

He loves your folds, you could feel him instantly relax when he would ease into you. He also appreciated your ass a lot of the time. He would gently hold your ass as you straddled him and would get you in the mood by slapping and spreading them while making out.

C= Cum (Anything to do with cum basically .. I’m disgusting person)

He was able to dominate you with a flicker of his eyes. One of his favorite things was him watching you swallow his cum as you looked up to him. Your mouth open and a clear view of where it was going to go. You couldn't deny that it got you instantly wet. The look in his eyes would be overpowering.

D= Dirty Play (Pretty Self Explanatory)

Bondage. Damon knew what you liked, he knew the pain you found pleasure in. His little sub would be eager to try new position and new restraints. Seeing you in a vulnerable position, just made him harder.

E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Damon knew exactly how to read you. He knew how to read women in general but you even more. He didn't need you to tell him you were close. He already knew. He knew how to edge you so easily, even when you were try to hide how close you were to cumming. He read you like a book and that's what made him so powerful. Your and his body were so connected, no one else would fit so perfectly inside you. He had experience so much throughout his life but was always excited to show you what he thought you would like.

F = Favorite Position

The one thing that he couldn't resist was you bent over with your ass in the air. You would fully expose your pussy as you bend over and he would speed to you without hesitation. It could happen anywhere. Whether you were in the living room, he would have you bend over on the couch with your head down on the pillow with your ass high. You would feel his gaze which made you even wetter.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humourous, etc.)

Damon was pretty serious when it came to fucking. He was definitely passionate about it. Time to time, you would tease him and it would bring out his playful side when he would see you lead him on. When you had the power, he would let you mess with him but no matter what, he couldn't resist the urge to take control at the end and exhaust both of you. He always wanted to finish on his terms.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc)

He was always well groomed. He loved how freeing it felt to have no hair. Nothing got in the way when he would watch you suck him off. It made everything easier, especially the cleaning up afterwards.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Damon was a wild card when it came to sex. Sex was passionate and heated. But there's moments when he knows you would want to feel loved and cared for. He would make you dinner, and throughout the night get closer to you. He would start kissing your neck so gently. Those pure blue eyes would show how much he needed you. Every caress would show how much his touch lingered on your skin, making shivers travel up your spine.

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

One of Damon's favourite things was when he would watch you get off. He would ask you to take off your underwear and play with yourself. He would tell you that there was nothing more attractive than watching give yourself pleasure. He wouldn't be able to resist for long and and start jacking himself off. You'd both get so riled up from watching each other.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Damon has a kink for wax play. He slowly introduced you to it by getting you use to the feel of the wax on your skin. He would lay you down and watch as he poured wax on your torso, the hot temperature gave a quick sting followed with pleasure as the wax dripped down and cooled. He would get these special massage candles, of course the smell of bourbon (He wouldn't be able to resist the scent), and they would melt turning into massage oil, he would massage your neck, back and legs. He would tease your upper thigh getting closer and closer to your pussy.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Damon was a sucker for shower sex. The hot water travelling down both your bodies and steam in the air would just make the perfect atmosphere for both of you to loosen up. Especially if him and Stefan were gone for a couple of weeks. The first thing he would want when he was home was you and him in the shower. He would strip you and you both get in, your bodies pressing up against each other. You would feel his lips on yours and his hands travel down to your ass.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You being a brat. Any reason you would do to go against him. You loved pressing his buttons, knowing he was going to punish you. You would tease him blatantly. You would wear that dress that was slightly too short for you to go out in public, or jeans that would be that little bit too tight. You would press up against him briefly in public, let your hand linger on his arm a second longer than you should. You would look in his eyes and see a spark behind his them. You knew he was going to have his way with you when you both got home.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Damon didn't want any of your senses blocked. Whether that was sight or sound. He wanted you to be fully aware of what you were doing. He never wanted to blindfold you, he wanted to make sure you were comfortable with what you were seeing. He didn't want to make you so vulnerable that you would get hesitant or nervous.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

You giving Damon head was one of the simpler things that he could never get tired of. But when it came to him eating you out, he never went half way. He wanted to learn you inside out with his tongue and fingers. He was confident about what he was doing. One of his favourite positions was when you were sitting on his face. He loved the control you had, also loved being able to keep an eye on you.

Q = Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc)

He would have a quickie when his patience would run out, that was usually out in public or friends house and you would be teasing him all day. But he would always make proper sex a real experience, making sure you were both completely satisfied and drained before getting a good night sleep, otherwise he wouldn't be able to sleep.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks?)

Damon is always trying to be risky. That was his thing in general, so anything sexual wouldn't be any different. He was open for everything when it came to adding more pleasure and closeness between you two. He would always want to try new toys and roleplay. He was even open to pegging, but that's a story for another time.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Damon being a vampire has its benefits, one of them being his stamina. It was clearly unhuman but he would have to be realistic when it came to you. He just wanted to keep going for as long you were comfortable with. He knew that after awhile you would get kind of raw. Which meant no sex for awhile and that wouldn't be good. He mainly focus on you. He never would want to hurt you especially when it was avoidable.

T = Toys ( Do they own any toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Damon found one of your toys when trying to find something, he did his typical smirk when he showed you he found it. He asked you why you kept it to yourself. You said you didn't know how he was going to react. He was clearly over the moon to know that you were open to that type of thing. Since then, you both went toy shopping and experimented. Damon being an ass man, he loved trying anal toys with you. He gets hard knowing that you gets so much pleasure from it. You've never looked back from toyless sex since.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Damon would punish you when you were being a brat. One of the ways he would punish you would be through teasing. He wasn't into any light teasing either. He wanted you to be begging for relief. You would be a mess on the bed, tied to the bed posts. You would be spread and soaked in your own sweat and juices from his persistent oral edging and fingering. Once you learned your lesson, he would give you the relief and the most intense orgasm of your life. You never learned that lesson for long mind you. You secretly loved the punishment, seeing him with that kind of power over you was irresistibly sexy.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds do they make)

The room was usually filled with the sounds of Damon whispering in your ear asking if you've been a bad girl while fucking you roughly. You moaning your answers, while the bed banged against the wall. It was hard for you to be both quiet but both of you wouldn't care who would hear by the time you got to the end. Which became a problem at friends house, they would eventually hear you.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Damon was infatuated with your neck, he would nick your neck time to time and drink some of your blood while you were fucking. Learning early on, it made you orgasm harder from the rush of the minor blood loss. After he would indulge himself, he would kiss your neck and then cut his wrist, giving you his blood so you would heal from it. He was in control of it and knew you were in no danger. Plus, he enjoyed the taste of you immensely. When you saw his eyes turn dark and red, you knew what was coming, and getting excited for it instantly.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Damon was known for being good at sex, yes skill plays a big part but, the equipment is just as important. He knew how to use his length, he had a lot of it and knew he had to be careful with women that weren't as open to sex as he was. It took awhile for you to get use to his dick but now nothing else will do.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Unrealistically high, let's just leave it at that.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep)

Knowing that Damon has made you shake with pleasure and cry out his name. He will easily drift off to sleep no problem. You resting your head on his chest, he would stroke your hair as he listened to your heart beat slow down to a rest rate.

#damon #damonxreader #Damon x reader #smut #damon salvatore #the vampire diaries #tvd #fluff #fic #fanfic

[sie-rui]

O P M  O C T O B E R

— welcome, dear! this is a small event i created, purely self-indulgent for the month of october. opm october is the use of filipino songs as inspiration for ficlets for tokyo revengers characters, be it its lyrics or the overall vibe of these musical gems itself — this is also a special event commemorating my 5k milestone that i reached two weeks prior! as well as a personal accomplishment that i wanted to celebrate. — opm means original pilipino music, the filipino pop music (in english, tagalog, and other philippine-native language)

r e q u e s t s ?

○ sadly, i am not taking requests for this but i would be glad to hear your opinion or song suggestions (especially for the letters f, q, v, and x).

t i m e s p a n ?

○ it will be prioritized on 10 | 01 | 21 to 11 | 01 | 21 ○ after the said date, i will still continue on posting but it will not be made priority and is only an extra feature of my account

n o t e s ?

○ i’ll write for all of the characters. they are chosen by random using a generator ( wheel of names ) but the songs are my own pick as i feel more comfortable to do so. ○ title of the song + its artist + line will be indicated. ○ the work’s length will vary as well as update time. ○ i will not be writing this in order ( from a to z ), but rather in random. i will try to include all of the letters of the alphabet.  ○ mostly fluff and comfort but there are occasional angst. angst is unavoidable if you’re with me. ○ taglist is open so feel free to send me an ask or comment on this post. i won’t be tagging those from my original taglist. ○ tag used is: 🎥 — [ opm october ]

o u t r o

— i hope that you’ll enjoy reading these little drabbles as much as i enjoyed writing them. masterlist is down below, organized by initial letter with the date written on it.

— m a s t e r l i s t : opm october ;;

A

○ antukin, rico blanco — with ryuuguji ken

B

○ binibini, zack tabudlo — with hanemiya kazutora ○ bawat piyesa, munimuni — with matsuno chifuyu

C

○ come inside of my heart, iv of spades — with sano manjirou

D

○ dulo ng hangganan, the itchyworms — with sanzu haruchiyo

E

○ easy ka lang, eraserheads — with kawata souya

F

○ falling out of love, banna harbera — with hanma shuuji

G

○ gitara, parokya ni edgar — with matsuno chifuyu

H

○ huwag kang matakot, eraserheads — with haitani ran ○ harana, parokya ni edgar — with baji keisuke

I

○ ikaw lang, nobita — with haitani rindou

K

○ klwkn, music hero — with kawaragi senju ○ kahit maputi na ang buhok ko, rey valera — with inui seishu

L

○ leaves, ben&ben — with akashi takeomi

M

○ minsan, eraserheads — with sano shinichiro (ft. black dragons) ○ make it with you, ben&ben — with mitsuya takashi

N

○ nobela, join the club — with sano manjirou (bonten)

O

○ overdrive, eraserheads — with tachibana naoto

P

○ pelikula, janine tenoso (ft. arthur nery)  — with kokonoi hajime

Q

○ kyusi, zild — with shiba yuzuha

R

○ rainbow, south border — with arashi keizo

S

○ sa’yo, munimuni — with kurokawa izana

T

○ torpedo, eraserheads — with shiba hakkai

U

○ upuan, ben&ben — with tachibana hinata

V

○ varsity crush, pixie labrador — with kawaragi senju

W

○ wag kang mag expect, tanga, fishie bishy — with hanagaki takemichi

Y

○ your universe, rico blanco — with imaushi wakasa

[ navi, main ]

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #🎥 — [ opm october ] #📷 — navigate

[peniscat]

hi! ok i was thinking about roman and gerri (as one does) and wanted to see what others think so i’m sharing my tinfoil hat theory here if that’s cool! i feel like there’s so much speculation about why gerri indulges roman and i’m a believer that she’s genuinely fond of him, often likes his company, enjoys their “encounters” etc. but i was also considering the idea that part of why she’s so close to him (and also lenient and understanding of his horrible behavior) is out of a sense of guilt? like there’s this angle to their relationship where she’s known the siblings since they were kids, seen how logan treats them, often stood by as they’re mistreated and stayed loyal to logan anyway and i think it’s possible there’s some level of shame about that. like an underlying guilt for a) the horrible things she’s done working for waystar and b) the abuse she’s seen occur to the children and within the family. maybe this is totally off-base but i could see her way of dealing with that being choosing one of the kids (one she already has some amount of affection for) and taking him under her wing, acting as a mentor, comforting presence, sexual outlet, etc. and maybe she has a hard time totally cutting ties w/ roman when he ignores her boundaries because she feels some responsibility for the person he’s turned into? i’m saying this as someone who adores both gerri and roman as characters but also of course they’re both morally bankrupt and i think that’s part of what makes it so interesting. i’m super curious to hear your thoughts! and it’s cool if you think this is totally wrong lmao

hi! it's absolutely okay to share this here, there's nothing i love more than hearing people's thoughts on roman, gerri or romangerri!! especially when the theories are super interesting, i have to say straight away that i love how your brain works.

it's an interesting point that gerri might have some level of underlying guilt or shame about the things she has done and she has witnessed but i personally don't feel like it'd be something that would lead her to mentor one of the kids. i think that she is very good at compartmentalizing and separating her work life from her personal life and the roys have been firmly part of the work life. when working, she is the stone-cold killer bitch and i think that she is self-serving enough to think that she's just doing her job (re. the horrible things she's done for waystar) and that it's not her place to intervene (re. the roy kids). i'm kind of reminded of the sin cake eater speech from 1.04.

i also don't think she consciously regrets the things she has done or hasn't done so for me, it's not guilt that drives her to mentor roman or be more lenient with him. you mentioned responsibility which is something i see working here, though in a different context: gerri is the authority figure in their relationship and i think she feels responsible for the direction their relationship has taken. so not exactly responsible for the person roman has turned into but rather for the state of their relationship, in a way?

your theory is absolutely valid though, i personally just see things differently! i see gerri's interest in roman starting as something self-serving and mostly purely professional, which then gets complicated by genuine fondness for him and obviously by introducing the sexual aspect to their relationship. for me the fondness she has for him is the key player in why she's so lenient with him, not exactly guilt. and also the fact she knows he's a little bit fucked up.

this was super interesting to think about! i haven't spent time thinking about guilt in this context and it was really cool to think about your perception of the situation. it's so nice how people have different reads and interpretations of the relationship between characters! if u have any follow-up thoughts or questions or commentary or anything feel free to send them in whenever <3

#i love nothing more than getting to think about romangerri so this was absolutely amazing ily anon #it also helps me to straighten up my thoughts about them because there are a lot of them lmao #but guilt is an interesting concept when it comes to gerri #personally i have focused on the compartmentalizing which sort of removes the guilt from the equation #but i feel like roman has definitely wormed his way into the personal side of gerri's life #which could definitely introduce guilt into their dynamic from gerri's side. like in 3.09? #even though gerri's behavior was more than justified i could see her feeling a little bit guilty over the situation #but because it's a work environment and she's all about herself it's not enough to change anything #it's just. a bit of extra pain <3 #romangerri #thinking thoughts #answered

[mischievouswritingblog]

Meta Essay: Medivh The Bisexual Icon

As of the time of this post, there’s going to be an update coming to World of Warcraft where the once all female ghosts in Karazhan will be changed to include male varieties as well.

Full details on the update can be found here: https://www.wowhead.com/news/female-only-ghosts-in-karazhan-updated-to-include-male-versions-324371

This has caused a lot of fun posts and people to take this as an ‘accidental confirmation’ by Blizzard that the character Medivh is bisexual. Pair this along with how some of his portrayal in Hearthstone was made into Warcraft canon, and in my opinion, it’s an excellent update to his character.

It’s no secret that Blizzard’s had a massive lack in LBGTQ+ representation for the longest time. Often when such subject matter did show up it was treated more as a punchline in some quests or was kept conveniently to the sidelines, with nonconsequential, blink and you miss it text, side characters, moments. It’s insulting, to say the least, and is the source of a growing frustration from the LBGTQ+ members of the audience. What’s more, whenever this frustration gets voiced it’s always talked down to. We are told that to ‘keep politics out of gaming’ and that we are too sensitive, when these are the same people that get bent out of shape when even a single thing changes or is called out in their game. It’s bullshit. LBGTQ+ people exist and the act of existing isn’t a political issue.

But of course, with people even making lighthearted jokes or posts of Medivh being a ‘Bisexual Icon’, there’s folks crawling out of the woodwork with reasons from “But the loooooooore!” (as if the lore isn’t constantly changing and being retconned from one expansion to the next) to “Well A-C-T-U-A-L-L-Y, those male guests were just for the female nobles that visited and attended his parties, Medivh was very straight”. To that, I’m going to say: “Nah, Medivh is a bisexual icon, deal with it”.

In my personal opinion, Medivh is an excellent character to explore queerness  with. He’s a character that’s been around since Warcraft 1 and the effects and ties from his story are still felt throughout World of Warcraft in various ways. Medivh is also a character that’s gone through a large amount of evolution and various portrayals. My personal favorite being the One Night in Karazhan take on him because it’s so different from the usual ‘brooding, grand powerful hermit-mage’ that his type of character usually is. Medivh in One Night in Karazhan is instead, vibrant and is a thriving social butterfly that loves to have and treat people to a good time. His reasonings for being this way make a lot more sense when you really think about what Medivh’s situation was.

Now, I have to mention that I do a much deeper dive and deconstruction of Medivh’s circumstances and just how messed up they were in this self indulgent essay/headcanon dump: ‘My Completely Self-indulgent Medivh Essay’. Feel free to give it a read but here is the basic gist for this essay:

Yes, Medivh was the Guardian, one of the most powerful mages to exist at the time. He was also possessed by Sargeras and was the one that created and opened the Dark Portal that brought the Orcs to Azaroth and changed Azeroth forever. But here’s the thing, Medivh had no choice in any of it.

To be the Guardian means you have to put your life on the line for Azeroth’s sake. This is a role that had to be kept to secrecy, people had to make a lot of sacrifices to be the Guardian. You gain phenomenal powers and it is a great honor but none of this was anything that Medivh ever asked for. He was literally born to become the Guardian, there was no other choice for his own future. 

Then you have Sargeras, he had his plans in play long before Medivh was even a thought. A sliver of Sargeras had entered Aegwynn (Med’s mother and the Guardian before him) from a battle between Aegwynn and his avatar. This influence hid within her and made its move when she decided that she wasn’t going to allow the Council of Tirisfal to choose her heir for her title and powers for her. Ignoring Chronicle’s softening of her, she used Medivh’s father, Neilas Aran, the court magician of Stormwind to sire a child. In TLG she let him know she flat out used him and felt nothing for him then came back later and tossed baby Medivh to him for free childcare. What neither of them knew at the time was that Medivh was possessed by Sargeras while he was in the womb. Sargeras would then screw him over even further by causing his powers to lash out when he was fourteen, causing him to accidentally kill his father and fall into a near 10 year coma, and wake up mentally and emotionally fourteen in a twenty-three-year-old’s body. So from the very beginning Medivh was always set up for failure.

So with this summary out of the way, the point of the matter is that Medivh is a character that had little autonomy for most of his life. His career and his fate were chosen for him from the start. Sargeras was in his head messing with him throughout his life, in TLG Medivh even tells Khadgar that he tried to fight it as much as he could. His story is a tragic one but with his reappearance in Legion there’s potentially a ray of hope.

I think there’s a lot of aspects in Medivh’s story that can tie well with the feelings and experiences of queerness. Not so much the being possessed by discount space Satan, but more so the struggle of trying to have autonomy and hanging onto who you are as a person. Being queer myself and looking at it through that lens, I see Medivh being vibrant and throwing parties as an attempt for him to seize what autonomy he could for himself. To exist, to be seen, and to have an identity of his own that had nothing to do with being the Guardian of Tirisfal. I think that it’s also something that separates Medivh from Sargeras. There were likely times where Sargeras may have forced the lines between them to blur as he gradually poisoned Medivh’s thoughts and twisted his soul throughout the years. Medivh likely had to struggle a lot with separating who he truly was from Sargeras. This being inside him, who wasn’t him but would at times take over his body suppressing Medivh’s true self. It’s a horror story where some elements can really hit close to home.

Medivh I believe surrounded himself with like minded, free spirited people like Barnes and the theater troupe (while there’s the joke Medivh’s only seen three plays, I choose to headcanon he’s a theater kid, given how he has a theater to begin with and his own love for theatrics). Whether you picture Medivh as aro, ace, gay, bi, pan, or trans, with the upcoming changes he clearly accepts many kinds of people into his home.

This also has the interesting effect of changing some of the tones for some events in his lore. One example being the titans sending down the Maiden of Virtue to punish Medivh and make him live a more ‘pure’ life. The Titans are Azeroth’s closest thing to a pantheon of gods. They are beings of order, having taken Azeroth in her rawest form and molding her into something they saw fit. Apparently, Medivh’s parties and behavior was seen as something that required ‘correcting’.

On one hand, it’s really easy to read it simply as Medivh being a selfish, spoiled brat. But with looking at it through a queer lens one can put a more positive spin on the situation. The Maiden of Virtue was sent to shame and punish him into conforming into something the Titans believe someone like Medivh should behave. It clearly didn’t work. Looking at this situation, one can read it as Medivh refusing to relinquish his identity because a ‘higher power’ wanted him to. In the real world there are so many that have to hide their orientation and gender thanks to people using religion and belief as a cudgel. So having a character like Medivh as queer, with the power and willfulness to flat out refuse and shut it down is a refreshing power move.

Medivh’s story and the way he is in general has elements that I believe many people of the LBGTQ+ can relate with. He’s a complicated character that has dealt with abuse and being forced into roles without his consent, he made identity for himself and it was stripped away by an oppressor (Sargeras), and, depending on if Blizzard decides he’s actually resurrected/alive instead of being a ghost, is a survivor.

So to me, I love the idea of Medivh being a queer icon in Warcraft. It hasn’t been officially stated by Blizzard at the time this essay was posted but it has started a fun conversation. There are and will be the haters who will scream and tantrum about the LBGTQ+ touching their precious (when convenient) lore with their filthy paws and tarnishing ‘their game’. But in the meantime, I’m going to continue having a blast with the idea and enjoy working the story potential it gives into fanfics, speculations, and essays.

If you enjoyed this essay, I did a few other bits of meta, headcanons, and speculation for fun: My Completely Self-indulgent Medivh Essay

A Bit About Wizards and Sorcerers

Headcanons: Medivh is Alive and Currently Uses ‘The Guardian’s Study’ as his Home

#World of Warcraft #Medivh #warcraft headcanons

[eitelle]

Kenma Kozume Headcanons

Genre: fluff, angst if u squint

Warning(s): cursing, mentions of an ED, and slight mentions of a panic attack

Pairing(s): kenma kozume x gn!reader

A/n: hi everyone kinda been a lil mia lately sorry but this is just kenma brain rot to fill my needs and it’s just pure like self indulgent writing so it’s not proofread and is basically things I hc him doing, to make me feel better :)) make sure to drink water and eat food ur body deserves nutrients. And if no ones told u yet, I love you and I’m proud of you!! (Look at u go purr period) ok have a good day loves!! Also my inbox is always open so feel free to flood w requests or just to rant. Damn this was long sorry KAJSBD <3 -Elle 🦶

Alr let’s get into it why don’t we. This is just hcs in general so no particular anything, so it’s very random pls

Pretty boy would have u and him hugging or gaming as his lockscreen and his homescreen

I feel like he def used to compare himself to other people, so if he ever saw u doing that he would fs cuddle you, praise you, and actually show pda bc u deserve it !!

Would drop his games for you.

I HAVE SAID THIS BEFORE AND I WILL SAY IT AGAIN. ALL U MFS WHO SAY HE WOULD CALL U KITTEN ARE WRONG (in my humble opinion ofc) BC THAT MF BULLIES THIS TALL ASS WHITE HAIRED RUSSIAN HYBRID aka lev 24/7. HE WOULD NOT CALL U KITTEN PLS HIS ONLY SOFT SPOT IS FOR SHOYO !!!!

I don’t ship kenhina btw but if u do thats chill, I just mean as besties 😋☝️

Mf is a dry ass texted but beats up kuroo for using cat emojis and only kuroo

If u were nekomas manager he would go just for you. Damn mans is whipped

If u can bake he will propose. And I’m not saying that figuratively. Like kozu will get on one knee and be like “will u make me the happiest man on this earth and MARRY ME SO I CAN HAVE THESE DESSERTS EVERYDAY”

Is secretly vv possesive (ooh kinky 😳🥴) and will mark you (iyk what I mean) (ps I mean like hell make ur gaming tags kenmay/n345 or summ PLSS)

Bby boy will mf drag u places if he rly wants too bc mans is needy for quality time and like hand holding

Vv touch starved but also just wants ur prescience by him

Ok so I hc that at one point of his life, he got so into gaming or summ and then WAIT DID A FUCKING RYAN HIGA COME UP ON MY PLAYLIST I- sorry that was random. Anyways, he stopped eating slowly and accidentally developed an ED

So when y’all started dating, you would share ur plate w him and now even tho his minor ED is gone (thank god I hate that hc bc I hate seeing bub in pain 😔👊 but I still feel like it’s accurate) he can’t eat wo sharing ur plate if ur w him bc it doesn’t feel right

CLINGY ‼️ BOY ‼️

He likes being the little spoon bc he likes when he gets held bc like I said, touch starved bby, but he also loves being big spoon bc that means he gets to hold you 🥺🥺

Tell me why I feel like this man would clown u over liking to read even tho he does too

If u make one spelling mistake, ur done for. That’s ur contact name now until u make a funnier one

Has made matching sweatshirts for u two (sugar daddy kenma 🤑🤑)

When he gets bored he looks at wedding rings PLS

His most used emoji is this one 🥱 bc the gc (w anyone in it tbh 💀) annoys him so he uses it a lot.

His second most used one is 😚 bc he is secretly soft w u

Has and would wear a maid dress (that’s so hot goodbye)

Three words. Sugar daddy kenma.

Three more words. Soft boy kenma.

Those are his two moods 😋🦶

Would hate it if I used the foot emoji randomly even tho I do but he still prob hates it pls-

I FEEL LIKE HES INTO ASTROLOGY IDK WHY

secretly a weeb? secretly a weeb.

He’s a nerd pls

When he’s the ceo of bouncing ball Corp- 🥴😻😋🥺💗💖💕💓. Ew Michelle stop this is hcs not u thirsting over kozu. Stop. Touch grass.

Has and will pick up ur ‘slang’ or how u text (if ur not a dry texter bc that’s already him)

Shows his love wo words if that makes sense. Like ik it does but like idk how to elaborate. Imma just leave that there then 😋

Can we all collectively agree that kenma would spoil u and not him? Like I just feel like his mind is:

You

Video games

Food

Spending time with you

Him

Kuroo

Like I just feel like that’s his mind

Guys I’m so in love w him and I’m still confused as to what his last name or first name is help. Like my friend told me his first name is kozume but then google is confusing me help.

SMART ‼️ BOI ‼️

Def loves study dates

Will act cold but then will also not? Idk mans is just so like half and half. WAIT FUCK DO I HAVE A TYPE? Kenma, kags, todoroki... FUCK.

Anyways...

have a panic attack? Kenma is there to help. Cant game? Issok Kenma will help. Shy and touch deprived? So is he. But he’s still there to help. Getting a feel for what I’m saying?

He will and has made playlists for every date y’all go on, even if it’s the same thing, he will still make a new playlist

Makes food terribly. Like he cannot cook for shit.

Ideal date: bullying kids in roblox together/making drama in royale high 🥺😻 wow so romantic 🤠

I’m not joking tho that seems like such a fun date pls-

If you wanna talk shit ab anyone this bitch has dirt on them I just know it-

Has an album of photos of just u 🥺

If he smells food, he will run to it idc what he’s doing he will run to it

*y’all cuddling*

*he smells hot food*

*your boyfriend: gone.* 🤨🤨

LIKE THIS BITCH- I understand tho.

SWEET MF TOOTH

Immediate brownie points if u smell good

If u cant game, that’s like telling a frat boy ur a virgin.

If you don’t LIKE to game tho, that’s like telling a frat boy u don’t wanna hook up

Censors the word k*ss I just know it.

He would be the one to tell u I l*ve you first but u would initiate the first k*ss

Secretly loves it when kuroo ships u two 😚😻

HELP THIS WAS SO LONG- anyways hope u enjoyed !!

General taglist: @babyshoyo

#haikyuu!! #haikyu oneshots #haikyu x reader #PLS HELP I LOVE HIM SM ALSJJEJND #haikyu fanfiction #haikyuu smau #haikyu headcanons #kenmasimpnation #kenma kozume #kenma fanfic #kenma x yn #kenma x reader #kenma x you #kenma x gender neutral reader #kenma headcanons #kenma hcs #kenma oneshot #eitelle writes

[solomonish]

Hii I saw astrology and divination talk and got curious! If you are into it, do you have any even vague headcanon of what Solomon's relevant(?) placements could be? This topic always makes me go 👀 and its funny that even ancient demons got their lil sun sign listed on their profiles lmao.

Completely disregard this if u dont like astrology though oh 🙈😳 and also !!! hope you're having a nice day~💌

HELLLLLLLOOO my love I hope you meant big three signs because that's what I did lol! And no I did not BUT the moment I got the ask that prompted this I did wonder "hmmm what would Solomon's big three be?" and then this ask came in SO...I looked it up lol

I will warn you though that I don't know a lot about astrology other than my own sun sign (Aries) so this is all from a quick little search!! My descriptions of what they're about come from here so if it's wrong.........I tried <3

Solomon's Big Three

Explaining his Sun Sign - Sagittarius

starslikeyou describes Sagittarius like so:

"Born with the Sun in Sagittarius, you are gifted with an abundance of warmth, energy and positivity. Your sign is noted for a willingness to transcend the everyday by pushing boundaries, demanding freedom and seeking to explore unchartered horizons whenever possible. Your journey involves discovering all that is possible.

At a deeper level, your sign is also concerned with the cultural, philosophical and metaphysical frameworks which make life meaningful. Your life path involves searching for truth and then sharing that with others."

Honestly, I think this works for Solomon!! I think his energy and positivity are more calm, but he's very playful and welcoming just in general. Obviously he's all about exploring the unknown [gestures @ immortality] and I definitely headcanon that Solomon knows a little bit about everything. A true renaissance man...

IDK this was short I just wanted to address it lol. Onto the good stuff!

Guessing Solomon's Moon Sign - Scorpio

According to starslikeyou...

"Born with the Moon in Scorpio, you are likely to be sensitive and loyal, but have intense emotional needs...You are likely to give the impression of being perceptive, powerful, and transformational.

Scorpio is also a Fixed sign, suggesting that when you align your emotions with something you desire – be that a friend/lover or an anticipated outcome – you will be constant, enduring and unwilling to let go."

In terms of the emotional needs, I think this might be the weakest part of my argument - but hear me out. The website describes emotional extremes that may swing back and forth, as well as intense reactions to emotions. I could argue that Solomon does experience this - although I think he's gotten good at hiding it.

I wouldn't describe him as having mood swings, but I can think of a few instances where he has shown them. I think this would mainly take place in his anticipation of rejection. We've seen multiple times how he's willing to indulge in being with MC, only for a moment - happy, satisfied - but then he quickly realizes that they could reject him, that they might not want him, and he backs off and retreats again. This isn't exactly a mood swing, but it fits for my argument. He easily flips from accepting and eager to show affection whenever he has the chance to reserved and pulling away. From confident to almost insecure. Additionally, his emotional reaction to the possibility of rejection - or of returned feelings, like in the Threads of Fate devilgram - could also help my case. The website also argues that people with a moon in scorpio are self-aware, introspective, and private individuals, which definitely sounds like Solomon to me.

In terms of intimacy, the website accents a need for emotional honesty, and finding an inner transformation as you share more parts of yourself and expose your vulnerabilities. I've talked about this for long periods of time, but I really, really think that this is the type of beneficial relationship Solomon needs. He needs someone he can trust completely, someone who can get him to open himself up and be a little more free because they accept his past and the parts of him that are messy.

Also the website says this:

"Finally, the Moon here often also brings highly developed intuitive and psychic gifts. You may find yourself drawn to explore the mysteries of life, wanting to know more about magic, alchemy or anything occult."

And if this isn't Solomon, idk what is.

Honorable mentions i also considered: Moon in Gemini for emphasis on communication / knowledge exchange and intuition, Moon in Sagittarius for passion / creativity and a call to freedom, and a tentative Moon in Cancer for intuition and need for connections.

Guessing Solomon's Rising Sign - Aquarius

As starslikeyou says...

"Born with Aquarius on your Ascendant (or Rising), you will find a clearer sense of individuality is gained by stepping back to look at life from an objective perspective. A detached point of view allows for a logical assessment of the circumstances around you, giving you the ability to find, at times, lightning fast resolution to key issues.

This is the sign of the collective over the individual, the group over the singular. You are likely to have an especially broad view on society that allows you to mix with a great variety of people. Your awareness of group and social dynamics is paramount for your overall self-expression. Putting group endeavours first may override purely personal concerns.

There is likely to be a pronounced tendency to act in ways that will benefit the collective, rather than provide personal gain. This then is the rising sign of the true humanitarian, who gets what they need in ways that are socially responsible and considerate.

...You may also be drawn to arenas such as science, politics, communications or human resources, and have a strong social conscience. Usually open to scientific innovation, you can be an early-adopter or work with advances in technology."

This one really hit me as correct because of the whole collective over the individual part. Solomon acts as a sort of guardian for humanity, and he spares no expense to ensure the continued safety of humans. I understand that Solomon formed pacts beforehand and maybe for selfish reasons, but at least now he's put himself in the affairs of demons to make sure humans have some sort of voice. Now that he's in a position of power, he uses his leverage and makes his loyalties known. Demons probably wouldn't eye him so warily if they weren't suspicious of him turning on them or using them - and if he did so, it'd probably be for humans. Whether or not it's a side effect of his warped view on his own humanity, I definitely think he'd put himself in "harm's way" (though with him, the goalposts for that kind of shift compared to other humans) in order for the greater human good.

The sign also highlights intellect and the ability to make specific and well-thought out decisions with complicated information, as well as an impressive intuition. It describes those with this rising sign as idealistic yet practical, somewhat unorthodox or seen as eccentric (and paying the price for this perception), and a somewhat isolated and aloof front. Honestly, the further I read into the page, the more it reads like just an explanation of Solomon.

Honorable mentions i also considered: Rising Virgo for being humble yet sometimes self-effacing, critical and practical tendencies, and and urge to be useful over recognition. Also Rising Scorpio for transformation, charisma and perception, and insight.

ANWAY...I hope this is what you meant with this ask because if not I will feel SO dumb. But either way I hope you enjoyed, maybe even agreed, and I sure hope this information was correct!! And also....I hope your day was/is great too 😘

#obey me #obey me solomon #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #swd solomon #swd obey me #solomon #asked and answered #baalism

[trashlord2020]

Adam Smasher (Cyberpunk 2077) 18+

          A-Z NSFW Headcannons

 WARNINGS: dubious consent (suggested) Necro (only mentioned in passing) and a callous disregard for partners enjoyment and wellbeing. 

I provide these warnings so if any of it bothers you at all you can choose to not read this. If you disregard this and get upset by what you read, you've forfeit your right to complain, fight me. These are of course my own interpretations, in no way is this a 'end all be all'

A = Aftercare 

What, letting you live isn't enough? But seriously, don't expect anything resembling 'care' outta this guy. At the absolute most if you happen to be in a room he owns you could get real lucky and he'll leave you to sort yourself out...just don't be there when he gets back.

B = Body part 

He's a full body cyborg, every part is his favourite. He's almost constantly having things tuned or updated whether it's through Arasaka or his own hard earned eddies, But if he had to pick? His Hands, they're the thing that could end his partner in the moment with just one strong squeeze and having their life literally under his hands does something primal for him. His favourite body part of his partner? He might disguise it under mocking comments and insults but deep in there somewhere there's a man still and he's a thigh man for certain. Thicker they are, the better grip they provide and if his partner is able to pay enough attention they might catch how he almost caresses the skin...

C = Cum

Bodily fluids? disgusting. When he got his ah, 'upgrade' he most certainly passed on that. Sorry ! Sections provide required lubrication (don't forget to bring your own!) for the sake of avoiding friction but his own brand of 'popping the cork' is more of a build up in static and electricity. One he can control the build up of by adjusting 'sensitivity'.

D = Dirty Secret 

He's not a shy kinda guy, he'll have his partners against the window just to brag if there's one available. No, this is more of a vulnerability than anything? Under the metal casing of his chest on each side the tubes and connectors tucked away are very sensitive. The purpose is so he knows if something is amiss or stuck and needs tending too but this has provided a sort of erogenous zone, one he's not at all keen to share with another.

E = Experience 

Before his full body conversion you could say he was quite experienced, if paid partners counted of course. It's always been about him though, even when he (rarely) chooses to provide a helping hand it's been more of a show of dominance than anything. Now with his full Cyborg body and working for the worlds most powerful Corp he rarely finds himself having to pay, most people are either curious enough...or too scared to say no.

F = Favourite Position 

Anything where he can shove his partners head down and bend them across something be it the floor, bed, table or counter He'll use it. As mentioned before walls and windows make a good substitute too. He prefers to be above his partner and them in a position of vulnerability where they have no control, he's in charge here and he takes every opportunity to prove that. It's very rare to find one self facing towards him, often too 'intimate' for his liking.

G = Goofy 

If a partner has the guts they might be surprised to find that a little back and forth sarcasm and snark is enjoyed, even respected. Just be mindful not to insinuate any insults on his behalf, he won't take that lightly and if (when) he grows bored of the talk he'll make that known none too gently, better catch the hint sooner rather than later. So I'd say about 85% serious and 15% Snark.

H = Hair

 He's got a slappable head, bald as a plucked chicken and well...he's all metal down there. No surprise.

I = Intimacy 

If you really squint and tilt your head you might be able to trick yourself into believing the way he may cage his partner in from above as almost 'intimate' but it's really not...Just a show of pure dominance, nothing about enjoying the heat pouring off them at all... In all honesty this isn't making 'love' he's simply not capable of that, likely never was. He may lower his voice till you feel it more in your bones than hear it to whisper awful, dirty things only your both privy too but there's no true intimacy in his actions or words.

J = Jack Off 

Araska didn't provide him with his 'tool' no, that's something he chose to indulge in with eddies from his freelance years and when the work was done he certainly took time to test things out. Nowadays he rarely indulges, why would you need to if he could have almost anybody that happens to spark his interest.

K = Kink

Breath play, no of course not his. The act of cutting somebodies life line off, holding them in suspense and watching the fear grow in their eyes as they wonder if he's even going to bother letting go...it really gets him riled up. The only reason he does bother to let them go instead of squeezing a little harder is that a corpse hardly has the same appeal, don’t mistake it for mercy.

L = Location 

While Adam owns his own room he often has little use for it, spending at best an hour in there a day. You'd be lucky to be taken back there. He often finds himself in hotels/resorts instead, not his issue if it gets trashed then and nobodies going to barge in to investigate all the noise, not when mutters of 'smasher' quickly spread like wild fire. Enjoy your walk of shame back home. :)

M = Motivation 

Often it's just a a general build up that leads to him indulging but a bloody fight will always leave him with some built up 'charge'. Many of his partners in recent years have been people he's done a recent job with, something about watching the blood steam off their cybernetics as they catch their breath really does it for him. Basically a callous and shared disregard for life is what would really catch his interest, otherwise it's purely down to cosmetics in which case don't expect a repeat.

N = NO 

Making love...you probably saw this coming a mile away. As mentioned he's not shy, he knows what he wants and has little issue with obtaining it but if you're expecting a tentative partner who takes care of your needs? Keep looking, he'll never be that.

O = Oral  

He's got no means of which to give oral, his jaw is made out of metal and there's no tongue hidden away. A small (very small) part of him laments not being able to taste what's he's enjoying but again, it would of been more for his enjoyment than anything. On the other hand he certainly enjoys the sight of somebody figuring out their way around him with hands and tongue, the tremor in their hands is something he picks up on without fail but this is never how he achieves his end goal. Attempting to blow Adam Smasher is the closest thing You'll get to foreplay.

P = Pace 

A constant rough pace from start to finish, as mentioned somewhere above he can control his sensitivity so if he finds his charge building up too quick for his likening he doesn't have to slow down, just dial things back a little. There's no stuttering or slipping either as it's all controlled due to years of working with his cybernetics and yet, somehow it never fails to feel so raw and animalistic.

Q = Quickie 

He likes for things to be 'to the point' as he's certainly not here for tea and biscuits... If he's free for the whole day and just finished a big job you might want to look into hiring a wheelchair for the next week but on average he's here to get his jollies and move on. Make sure to undress yourself though, it's an obstacle and we all know how much he enjoys tearing through those.

R = Risk

What your everyday joytoy may consider a risk he may simply see as a little spice to make things more interesting. He doesn't care if somebody was dumb enough to walk in on him but they sure as hell better be quick about leaving, he doesn't share. If his partner has (foolishly) made it obvious they don't want to be caught? He might find that a little insulting and make it a point for them to be caught or seen, again, it's about the dominance he has over them.

S = Stamina

There's no refractory period, none. If he wants to go again he can, the only thing that's going to stop him is the potential heat build-up from too many overcharges in too short a time. This right here is why you'll want to bring your own lube, things are going to get sore and quickly otherwise.

T = Toy

What he's got going on down there could be considered a 'toy'. Lots of interesting features he enjoys tormenting his partners with. That's not enough for you? He's not going to pretend to be thrilled about it but if you somehow got your own toys on hand then so long as they don't get in the way of his enjoyment, use away. Likely the only real chance you have at getting your own enjoyment to be honest, just don't try using them on him. He won't be amused.

U = Unfair 

He enjoys demeaning and talking down to his partners, talk about how 'easy' they were or laugh at how weak they're proving to be. Might physically tease, bring them to the edge if he's super into the moment but he's only going to push you over if you really beg for it...not often he will though, he's in charge and he gets to decide how this plays out.

V = Volume  

Besides all the inner workings of his cybernetics powering away and the times he decides to speak? Practically silent. No moans or gasps as he has no need to breath. If a overcharge proves to be particularly powerful (usually due to a lengthy build up) his Voice emitter may play some static feedback, closest thing you'll get to a groan. Besides, his partner will be more than making up for the silence.

W = Wild Card 

He's bisexual but straight leaning. It's leftover from the gang he ran with once long ago when he was a everyday nobody. Nowadays he's simply not bothered what others think, incapable of considering it even. Women and more feminine leaning partners will have an easier time garnering his attentions but anyone's game if they prove themselves interesting enough.

X = X-Ray

Custom Hardware baby. Don't ask me what unlucky gonk had the job to make this but it's kitted out. The shape is as expected but the length can be retracted and extended at will. When in use the shortest it can go is 6 inches (he will never keep it this short though, that's below him) and the maximum length is 14 inches although ‘yikes’ lets be real, not a lot of people are going to be able to handle that, it's bragging rights and intimidation factor more than anything. His common use of range is 8-10 inch. He can move individual sections, vibrate and even cause minor shocks at will.

Y = Yearning

If no outside factors are taken into account it can take several weeks before he considers a roll in the hay. A lack of hormones means a lack of natural drive. But a busy week of fighting and killing will quickly land him in a private 'meeting'.

Z = ZZZ 

Sleep? you're kidding right. Every few days (or weeks if it's a boring month) he has to have a system scrub and recharge of sorts. He has a private station for this so nobody is going to catch him unaware. Once the deed is done he's over and out, no pillow talk or sweet nothings. If you've managed to really leave an impression he might throw you a contact for seconds. It's run through a security system of course, can't have just anybody being able to contact him.

#I laid awake at 3am thinking about this #lost control of my life #gotta do everything myself stg #Adam Smasher #cyberpunk 2077

[denkineptune]

being luke’s parental figure- general hcs

♡ a/n i made this out of pure love for everyones’ collective child, luke. i feel like he doesn’t get love a lot, even in the celestial realm. with how strict he is about rules and morals and such, i feel like lots of other angels wouldn’t like to hang around him. also do not sexualize babey because he is just that- babey

♡ this was very self indulgent and nobody asked for it, so read if you wanna. i was very scared to post this since it’s me first actual post. feel free to give feedback!! 

♡ fic details: gender neutral reader, headcanons, sfw (don’t write luke as anything but), fluff, ~800 words, edited not well 

so you and luke started getting along after the lucifer/beel drama

baby was so grateful that you stepped in to protect him from lucifer

luke would never admit it, but even though he reported directly to archangel michael, he was fucking terrified of basically every demon

for a few days after the griot incident, luke stuck to you like glue

i mean like he literally clung to your RAD jacket and pretty much refused to let go

he’d always have at least one hand in a death grip on your shirt

he would go to all your classes and skip his own because babey was so scared he would be put in danger again

eventually, he loosened up and wouldn’t hold your jacket

he still wanted to be near you, though

he felt comforted around you but couldn’t really explain why?

you felt warm and welcoming in a way that the celestial realm and his fellow angels didn’t

it was something luke had never experienced but he’s beginning to think it’s like how humans have parents or siblings

he is still very confused about why he likes you so much but it makes him happy so he’s not really complaining

he likes to hold your hand a lot

his hand is s o f t 

he is prideful, very similar to lucifer

he is proud of being an angel because of how humans portray them

he’s not above embarrassment, though

he refuses to hold your hand around the brothers or diavolo and barbatos

luke will still lace his pinky with yours or pinch the bottom of your sleeve

this angel loves baking! he’ll want to involve you with baking in some way

whether it’s baking with you, having you taste test, decorating, or just being in the kitchen with you, he wants you there with him

he won’t call you any sort of special name, except maybe a nickname

this is because of, you guessed it, his pride

do not, for the love of god, tease him

he doesn’t take it well

luke does not like when he’s made fun of, so if you do he feels hurt and betrayed

he will still come back to you after a day or so 

please be careful around him

defend him!! don’t let the brothers push him around or mock him

also don’t call him “chihuahua” it makes him pouty :((

honestly sometimes it’s hard to be friends with him

he may be thousands of years old, physically

but his human age equivalent is 10

so please be patient with luke

he still doesn’t really know what he’s doing in the devildom

anyways, boyo is a cuddling legend

if you’re ever in purgatory hall please be prepared to stay for hours

when luke finds you sitting down on, say, a couch

he WILL come and sit next to you

it’ll start out with you two on opposite sides of the couch

then he’ll come closer, gradually

as if in some kind of gravitational pull

he’s comfy and will not move for hours

expect him to fall asleep within like 45 minutes

you may have to carry him to bed

he’s actually really light??? you don’t know if it’s because he’s an angel, or because he’s small, but he’s lighter than the average 10 year old human

luke is brutally honest

i mean he’s always kind of intense for, basically a kid, but if you tell him about your day (bc he’ll always ask)

luke will provide his thoughts whether you want him to or not

sometimes he gives really good advice

other times it’s just “you shouldn’t hang around demons in the first place”

you try to get him to open up to demons

starting with beel

luke already kinda trusts beel so it doesn’t take long for luke to warm up to him

he’s very prejudiced so it will take longer than your stay in the devildom, but he’s a bit less serious around demons thanks to you

he really likes you

considers you his best friend

he thinks you may be an angel in disguise??

like how can a human, of all people, be so kind?

luke is the n i c e s t  he’ll give you candid compliments in an effort to make you feel nice about yourself

completely out of the blue, the literal sweetest things

as in “y/n!! your hair is nice today!” or “you’re so nice to me” and “i like hanging out with you” 

honestly you may have a heart attack being around him he’s so nICE-

he enjoys going to restaurants with you 

you show him movies from the human realm like disney movies

he likes lilo and stitch and he cries every time

please make sure you reassure him because he is very easily anxious and worried about you

but that’s just cuz he loves u

all in all everyone is kinda jealous like who wouldn’t want a friendship like this?

and diavolo is HAPPY AS HELL that his exchange program is working so well

there is harmony between people from two different realms!!!

all in all, you and luke are adorable and everyone should envy your relationship sorry levi 

#anyways this was extremely self indulgent #you could say it was... sinful indulgence #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #obey me otome #obey me luke #luke obey me #obey me hc #denkineptune fic

[pocket-void]

Late night mumbling u///u

It’s currently 3 AM ish and I’ve been kinda thinking about how to feel about stuff. I do that sometimes.

The biggest thing is just what I should do with my time. It always comes back to that, time. There’s never enough hours in the day to do everything, and even when there is it feels like I don’t have the energy to do anything at all. Could be the winter cold, haha. Getting out of bed every morning is something I procrastinate at times, pffft. >\\\<

But I wanna get up. I get up because I wanna do stuff! I haven’t been doing much these days though, mostly because it’s break and I like to be sluggish when it’s break. It’s a good time to rest and all that, and that’s important too! But sometimes it feels a lil too unproductive, y’know? Gets me a lil antsy. I like the feeling of getting work done. u///u I also get really antsy when I feel like I’m disappointing people, as much as I also firmly believe that I’m the only person who needs to be satisfied with what I do at the end of the day. Kind of a natural feeling you know? There’s nothing wrong with it really.

It’s also normal to want people to like the things you do, and worry about the “what if”s if people don’t. It’s something that admittedly bugs me at times, since I like thinking that people like me. (To be fair I doubt there’s anybody who likes being disliked o///o) I get kind of nervous and overthink stuff when it comes to that sometimes. The whole “oh maybe they’ll find me annoying if I do this” or “oh it’s been so long maybe it’ll be awkward if I just go and do this”, that kind of thing. And that kind of concern leaks into the way I go about the things I make at times.

“Should I do this? Will this be ok? Would this be weird?” Sometimes that kind of thing stops me from doing stuff. It’s important to remember to step back and look at the bigger picture. Doing the things that I enjoy should never feel like a responsibility, and I’ve always believed that. At the end of the day, I’m free to just do the things I enjoy, y’know? But I still feel bad sometimes, because I’m really flighty with my interests. I wanna settle down and properly make something; tell a finished story. Even if nobody’s gonna look at it. I just wanna do something and see to it that it’s complete. But I leave behind too many things, and it’s a bit of a bummer no matter what it is really. ú///ù That’s ok though. I can’t do everything, and it’s easier to accept that than attempt to do so anyways. Take it easy.

Not that my mind isn’t always occupied with 3 ideas at once all the time anyways pffft. Currently there are a few topics of interests for me: The game I’ve been playing lately, continuing to draw comics, building a magic system purely for fun, and a whole lotta OC none sense.

I don’t often play games because it feels like a waste of time. But that’s a real bummer way of thinking about it. I don’t regret getting into Fallout New Vegas, but it’s certainly a time consuming endeavor due to the way I’m playing it pffft. And besides, even if I feel a lil bad about investing so much time into it, it’s still fun. As they say, “if it was time you enjoyed wasting, them it wasn’t really a waste of time”.

Believe it or not I still wanna draw the rest of the story for my AU that gets unfortunately interrupted both times I tried to continue it. I’m actually really embarrassed that it keeps happening, but I’ve decided that even if people lose interest in it I’m gonna keep doing it again. I hate to disappoint haha, but I’d say irregular updates are better than none! And either way it started out as a pretty self indulgent idea in the first place, I was really happy people seemed alright with it at the time though. Still makes me happy thinking about it now actually. I don’t regret making it. ^\\\^ (besides it’s actually more complex than its original idea now that I’ve been thinking about it for so long, but that won’t matter until I actually manage to keep going) Knowing me I just need to start, once I have momentum I’m usually pretty good at continuing. o///o

Just for fun I’ve been making up a magic system with a friend! Well it’s mostly me but he decided to shoot some ideas my way and I’m never against that. It’s like a semi Collab now. I started making it because I like magic systems and world building so I decided to make a system that’s basically everything I think is cool, so it’s a loose magic system with a lot of creative possibility and chances to go wild. The world will probably run of fighting game logic so it’s probably going to be really stupid, and that’s good honest fun to me! Seriously though, fighting games have the funniest world building due to fun character design trumping any sort of need for logic. Why do vampires, talking cats, samurais, robots, and whatever else share one world? Because it’s fun, that’s why. Lmaooo- >\\\< (I won’t be that wack since I like having more concrete rules, but just for fun why not just a lil bit...as a treat)

I miss making OCs. I wanna make an actual original story one of these days. I’ve had so many growing up but nowadays not as much. It’s a lot of work! But it makes my heart swell. I love making characters and worlds and watching them come to life. I have a lot of old OCs that make me wonder if I can recycle them all into a proper story, but perhaps that’s a bit ambitious for me right now. I’ve just been having a lot of thoughts because I love my recent OCs and wish to make a story for them. Well, my art could still use a lotta work too, haha. My art journey still has a long road up ahead, but I’m excited to keep going as always. *\\\^

If you’ve actually read all my nonsensical rambling then um, thank you, that’s very sweet that you’d wanna read the odd stuff I say. I never quite know what I’m doing, but I’m honestly just happy if even one person out there likes it. I would rather have people enjoy the stuff I personally enjoy doing than have me try and please others on purpose. You know? I’d like people to like me for me, that’s the greatest blessing I could be given, I’d say.

Anyways, it’s 4 AM now at the time I’ve finished writing this. It feels nice to ramble, even if it’s to nobody in particular. I hope you have a lovely day or night, wherever you are. u///u✨💖

#this is just late night stream of consciousness stuff #I doubt half of it makes much sense #but it’s nice to just spit words #see you guys in the morning u///u #mock talks

[the-sweetest-dragon]

Things Can Only Get Better - Chapter One

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Stiles Stilinksi x OC (Evangeline Monroe)

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: allusions to trauma, me explaining things, anxiety, an extremely slow burn

AN: Hi... I am alive, barely.  I honestly don’t know if anyone really wants this, but I’m posting it because @nerdsarebetter​ told me to <3.  This is purely self indulgent but I’m actually kinda proud of it so uh..... yeah.  Sorry this isn’t my IT fic but this has been making me really happy so you’re just gonna have to deal with it.  Oh, the dots symbolize a change in point of view, just so everyone is aware 

__________________________________________

“The wolves in the woods have sharp teeth and long claws, but it’s the wolf inside that will tear you apart.” -Jennifer Donnelly

Mom and I drove through many different states during our drive from Kansas to California.  We watched the sun set in New Mexico and the sun rise in Arizona.  None of them compared to Kansas, but we’d learn to deal. Mom and I paused to rest when we reached California, since we had been driving for what felt like forever.  

The move was necessary; we all needed a bit of a fresh start.  We were returning to Mom’s old home, Beacon Hills, where my aunt and cousin still lived.  Now, you may be wondering why we were living in Kansas when we could have been living in California the entire time.  My parents met at the University of Kansas; she was an art history major and he was a law student.  It was instant chemistry and after they were married, they just never saw a reason to leave Kansas.  Until Dad got this job offer and decided that we all needed a change of scenery. 

Was that partially my fault? Yeah, kinda.  Last winter was rough for all of us, and I knew it was one of the reasons Dad accepted this new position.  I also knew he wouldn’t ever insinuate that it was fully my fault, even though it definitely was.  Mom assured me that Dad wanted this job anyways, and I tried to believe her.  

We settled down for the night in a cheap motel just inside the California border.  I took the time to relax and update my cousin and Dad about our travels.  Dad sent me a picture of the new house, with him smiling in front of it.  I couldn’t help but smile; he looked so happy already.  Lydia, my cousin, gave me details about the high school that would be starting the day after we arrived.  She told me about her life, the classes and teachers we would have, how excited she was to see us.  

I knew having Lydia Martin as a cousin would help me find friends, but she was insistent that I would have to have a boyfriend.  Now, I wasn’t going to think too hard on that one, especially since I knew that with Lydia around, finding a boyfriend or even a guy that was interested in me would be practically impossible.  

Lydia looked a lot like me, in a lot of ways.  We shared the same red hair and our faces were very similar.  When we were little, people would confuse us for sisters when we would visit her and her parents.  The small differences between us weren’t necessarily in looks, but in our personalities.  Lydia had always been bossy and confident, and remained that way.  I have always been more of a classical bookworm; I would sit alone and read during recess, I never had many friends, and I wasn’t the prettiest.  Despite sharing similar faces, Lydia didn’t have to struggle with her weight.  I had… issues, that came to a head last winter.  

We started the drive back up again early this morning.  It was only another two hours in the car and then we were in Beacon Hills.  I watched in awe as the city sprawled out in front of us.  We drove down several streets, Mom exploring her old home that she would be able to share fully with her family.  Soon we were turning onto the street to our house.  

As we pull into the driveway for our new house, I can’t help but admire it.  Dad had found probably the prettiest house I could have ever imagined.  It’s painted a deep blue color, with ivy crawling up the sides.  The front porch held an old picnic table and a few boxes from Dad moving a few things in.  It’s pushed up against the woods, the tall trees embracing the back half of it.  

I pull myself from the leather seats and stretch before getting out of the car.  Mom smiles over at me before doing the same.  I can see her mind working on how to improve the house, where she can plant her garden and let it blossom.  Distracted by the house, I don’t hear another car pull up behind our own.

“Evie!”

At the sound of my name I quickly turn to find Lydia standing near the parked U-HAUL Dad drove up here a day before.  I let out an ungodly squeal and run towards her, catching her in a hug before she can tell me to stop.  She let out a soft sound of discomfort before I let her go.  

“Sorry,” I say with a smile.  “Wasn’t expecting you to be here already.”  I tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear and readjust my glasses to sit more comfortably on my nose.  “Are you here to help me or…?” 

Lydia laughs softly and shakes her head, strawberry curls bouncing slightly at the movement.  The light caught her green eyes, making them sparkle like emeralds.  Not for the first time, I wish I had inherited green eyes instead of my father’s dark brown ones.  

“I’m here to tell you about my party that you’re the guest of honor this Friday.”  I let out a soft groan; parties were one of my least favorite activities.  “No, I will not hear any of that.  You are my cousin, you have to be introduced to the public in the grandest way possible.  I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, ok?”  I nod, agreeing silently.  Arguing with Lydia was not something I wanted to do, ever.  She would win and it’s much easier to just agree with her.

Lydia left with a pat on my arm, leaving us to move in on our own.  She stopped to hug my parents before getting into her car and driving back to her own house, in a much more expensive part of town.  

Moving all my boxes into the house took longer than I originally expected.  By the time I had gotten everything into my new room it was dark outside.  Instead of unpacking, I decided to take a short walk into the woods, just to explore a little.  The air had turned chilly, so I grabbed a hoodie and changed into more comfortable shoes.  

“Don’t forget a flashlight!” Dad says before I head out into the dark.  He hands me one with a smile.  He was used to me sitting at the edge of the woods at our old house, reading a book against a tree.  

As I enter the dark of the woods, I can immediately sense something off.  The woods in Kansas never felt like this, never felt so… sinister, like something was watching me.  I shake the feeling off, knowing I only felt this way because it was new.  

I walk for maybe twenty minutes before I trip on a tree trunk.  I wince, hands and knees scraped and bloody from the fall.  I wipe the blood from my hands off on my jeans when I hear a howl in the distance.  I fix my glasses and tilt my head, making sure I heard it correctly before continuing.  The sounds of animals were familiar and not threatening, but it was still spooky.  I make it another few feet when I get the sense that something is following me.  I check over both shoulders and see nothing but the feeling doesn’t go away.  I turn back towards the house and quicken my step, refusing to run quite yet.  

The feeling continues and I’m so distracted by it that I trip again.  I land hard on my already cut knees, my flashlight disappearing into the brush.  Biting my lip so hard, I taste blood, but refusing to let out a sound of pain to alert whatever was following me that I was injured.  I fumble, trying to pick it back up when I feel something close around my ankle.  

Before I can scream, I’m being dragged backwards, farther into the woods.  I try to kick at whatever is holding me, when I feel wickedly sharp teeth latch into the fleshy part of my calf.  I scream, both in frustration and pain as I double my efforts to get free.  Nothing I do seems to make it let me go.  The pain becomes secondary to the panic that fills me.  What happens if I can’t get free?  Will anyone come to find me?  What will be left of me to find?  I feel immense anger take over me; I did not come all this way just to be taken out by some anonymous thing.  Letting the rage fuel me, I kick my attacker so hard that I hear a bark of pain and the teeth let go.  The moment I feel it release my leg I’m up and sprinting back to the house.  

I run until I can see the light of the house and I’m out of the woods.  I check over my shoulder to see if anything follows me but the only thing I see is darkness.  Collapsing on the front porch, the pain finally hits me.  The reek of my blood fills the air and the sight of my own blood leaking out of me makes me want to vomit.  I press a hand to my calf to check the damage, feeling the bite marks that it left there.  A sob escapes me and that's the moment Mom decides to open the door.

“Honey!  What’s wrong?  Where’d all this blood come from?  Are you hurt?” she questions in rapid fire succession.  Instead of answering, I break down in tears.  Mom pulls me inside where Dad is waiting with a first aid kit.  He calmly applies pressure to the bite mark, asking quiet questions about what happened.  I give a  quick version of the story, including my thought that it was a wolf that bit me.  Dad nods but Mom looks like she may argue with me.  Thankfully, she doesn’t.

Dad cleans out my various wounds with alcohol and I wince softly.  He apologizes and puts bandages on my hands and knees, then wraps my calf in gauze and tapes the edges with medical tape.  The wound still bled a little.

“Can you stand?” Dad asks gently.  I nod and he pulls me up carefully.  

“We should take her to the hospital Danny!  She could be seriously injured!” Mom exclaims, her panic evident in her voice.  Dad turns a level look at her, one hand resting on her shoulder.

“The marks aren’t deep enough for stitches, Mandy,” he says calmly.  “We cleaned them out really well, so there shouldn’t be any infection.  We’ll keep an eye on it, okay?”  Mom nods, wiping at a tear that had fallen.  Dad helps me up the stairs to my bedroom.  

After he deposits me into bed, Mom sits down beside me with a glass of water and a few painkillers.  She runs a hand over my uninjured leg and smiles at me.  

“I remember when I was little, your grandma always warned me to stay out of the woods.  She said bad things lingered there.”  She sighs, a frown forming on her face.  “I never understood the warning, but I do now.  Please, don’t go back into those woods.  I know you like to read in secluded spots but from now on, the woods are off limits, especially at night.  Do you understand Evie?”

“Yes, Mom.  I understand.”  She nods, a sigh coming from deep within her.  “I think it’s for the best anyways.  They kind of freak me out.  It’s nothing like the woods in Kansas.”  Mom laughs softly, shaking her head.

“You got that right kiddo.”  She sighs.  “Well, try to get some rest babe.  Lydia will be here bright and early I’m sure.”  

I nod and she gets up off my bed, walking to the door and leaving my room.  I drift off sometime around one in the morning, Persephone, my cat, curled up next to me.  I, surprisingly, have no dreams, not even with the horrific events of the night plaguing my waking thoughts.  

My alarm goes off at six and I groan before getting up.  My hands and knees still ache from my falls in the woods, but the bite had stopped bleeding sometime in the night.  I would have to get Dad to replace the bandages anyways, just to be safe.  I carefully remove the gauze from my calf, checking it out in the mirror before turning on the hot water.  The marks themselves weren’t big but they went deep into the muscle of my calf.  I take a quick shower and sit patiently on the toilet seat for Dad to rebandage my leg.  He does it without complaint, even giving me a smile before patting my thigh and returning to his own morning routine. 

I dress quickly, in an outfit I had planned on the drive here.  The loose fitting plain pants paired with a white button down, the shirt half tucked in and I unbutton a few buttons then roll up my sleeves past my elbows.  I put on a gold locket I got as a present from Nana before leaving Kansas and admire the way in glints in the light.  I finish the outfit off with a thick black belt before rushing to do my hair and makeup.  I keep my makeup light and pull my short hair into a half ponytail, letting my bangs fall slightly in my eyes before putting my glasses back on.  A honk from outside makes me rush to put in earrings and I grab my shoes and bag before rushing out the door to Lydia’s waiting car. I wince as I get into the car, my wounds still aching.  Lydia lets out a wolf whistle, admiring my outfit.  She’s dressed rather nicely too, though that is her default.  Dressing nicely gives her confidence, and Lydia has always had a great sense of style.  I smile, showing off my outfit for her, her expert eye noting all the little details and gives me a nod of approval.  

“Great first day outfit Evie.  It’s almost perfect.”  I laugh as I buckle my seat belt, leaning down to roll the cuffs of my pants a few times and slipping on my boots, accidentally flashing my bandage at her.  “Woah what happened to your leg?”

I retell my story to her, leaving out some of the scarier details to not freak her out as badly.  As I tell her, Lydia’s eyebrows retreat further and further into her hair, her eyes going wide at the mention of feeling like I was being stalked.  I show her the bandages on my hands as well, laughing about how clumsy I was right before I was bit.  

“That’s so weird.  We’ve never had animal attacks before,” she says.  After a pause, she continues.  “Well, just stay out of the woods, Evie, and we won’t have an issue.”  I laugh softly as she turns the ignition and we drive in comfortable silence to school.  Once there, she turns to me, her curls moving with her.  “So, I’ll introduce you to Jackson when we get inside.  I’m sure he’ll love you.”  She smiles, giving me confidence.  Having Lydia’s vote of confidence meant the world to me.  

“I’ll do my best to make a good impression.”  I shoot her a lopsided grin, my glasses perched precariously on my nose.  Lydia gently pushes them back up and boops my nose before getting out of the car, making me laugh.  I unbuckle my seat and grab my bag before doing the same.  

I follow her through the main doors of the school, ignoring two boys talking on the sidewalk.  One was taller than the other, with fluffy hair and an uneven jaw; I vaguely recognized him.  Maybe I had seen him on the street yesterday?  The other had a buzzcut and whiskey brown eyes.  They’re discussing some body the police found in the woods last night and I feel a surge of panic fill me.  My stomach turned sour and I’m suddenly glad I hadn’t eaten yet.  That body could have easily been me.  It had been found ripped in half, by an animal they thought.  Their conversation stops as we walk by.

“Hey Lydia!  You look… like you’re going to ignore me,” the buzzcut one says.  I turn and shoot him a soft smile in apology and hurry along with Lydia.  Poor boy is probably in love with her, like most boys are.  Jackson is a real lucky guy if Lydia chose him out of the millions of guys prancing around trying to impress her.  

The feeling of panic settles in my gut, and I suddenly remember that I hadn’t stopped to take my medication before leaving the house.  All eyes fall on us, making Lydia smile as she struts down the hallway to her locker, but I frown pausing slightly.  She definitely didn’t prepare me for this.  A boy quickly joins her side and I hurry to catch up, trying to forget about the panic lacing my body.  I check my bag for my antidepressants, but realize they aren’t there quickly.  I quietly curse, hoping no one heard me as I race to catch up to Lydia before the bell rings.  

I bounce on the balls on my feet, a smile flashing across my face at the boy, who I assume is Jackson.  His face is handsome but seems to be set in a permanent scowl.  He gives me a quick nod and turns back to Lydia.  They have a soft conversation right before the bell rings.  I wince, the sound too loud in my ears.  Lydia gives you a worried look before taking me to the principal's office for a tour.  

She leaves me with a smile and a promise to meet me at lunch.  I walk in and have a short conversation with the secretary, giving her the files from my old school that I had put in my bag, the one important thing I had remembered to take with me today.  The tour is short, mostly going through where my classes were going to be before she drops me off at my English class, where another new girl is being introduced.  

“Class, these are our new students Allison Argent and Evangeline Monroe. Please do your best to make them feel welcome.”  The other new girl is pretty, with dark curls and pretty dark eyes.  I shoot her a smile before heading towards one of the only open seats, coincidentally near the boys from earlier.  Allison does the same, sitting behind the one with fluffy hair.  I watch as he turns to hand her a pen, a grin plastered on his face.  The other one turns to look at me and I catch a whiff of his cologne, which is far too strong for a Wednesday morning.  

I gag slightly at the smell and he makes a face at me before turning his attention back to the teacher.  God, I had never had such a strong sense of smell before.  Maybe I’m coming down with something?  Trying to quell the panic before it sets in, I push my glasses back up onto my nose to distract me, and try to concentrate on the lesson and not the awful smell radiating from the boy next to me. 

He smelled of the woods and death on top of his strong cologne.  Now that I thought about it, so did the other boy.  He had the reek of blood lingering on him as well.  I’m so focused on the smell that I drop my pen.  As I reach for it, so does buzzcut and we hit our heads on each other.

“Ow,” he says rather loudly.  I mouth sorry and he hands me my pen, grimacing slightly.  

“Stiles, if you have something to share with the class, maybe you should stand up.”  The boy, Stiles, shakes his head and the teacher continues with his lesson.  I readjust my pony tail and continue to take notes quietly.

The next half of the day passes quickly and soon it’s lunch time.  I search for Lydia in the cafeteria and spot her sitting with Jackson, having a heated conversation about something.  I pause after getting my food and feel the ache in my leg start to lessen.  I smile to myself, happy that it’s started to hurt less.  Lydia spots me and waves me over to her table, where the other new girl, Allison, is also sitting.  I walk over quickly and sit down next to Lydia.  

“Evie, please help me convince Allison that she has to come to our party.”  I make eye contact with Allison, who shakes her head slightly, making me laugh slightly.  “She says she has a family thing but we all know that’s a load of bull.”  

“If she doesn’t want to come, that’s her business Lydia.”  I smile and extend my hand to Allison.  “I’m Evie by the way, Lydia’s cousin.  You just moved here right?”  She nods and the conversation flows easily after that.  We compare schedules and find out that we share three classes with each other in the afternoon: PE, chemistry, and math.  

Apparently, PE is used as an extra practice for the lacrosse team, which I won’t complain about.  I hate mandatory physical exertion.  However, as Lydia explains the game to Allison and I, I’m lost within five minutes and Allison seems just as confused as I am.  Lydia gives us all the details on the guys on the team, mostly in relation to which ones she thinks we should date.  She completely skips over 24 and 11, deeming them undateable by not mentioning them.  Allison and I share a look, already wondering who the two could be.  

“Who’s number eleven?” Allison asks.  I raise an eyebrow, turning to Lydia to hear her answer.  Lydia purses her lips, an unreadable expression on her face.  

“I’m not sure,” she says after a slight pause.  “A freshman maybe?”  I laugh softly, shaking my head.  It’s just like my cousin to not know the boys that don’t catch her eye.  We watch both boys take off their helmets to get a drink and their identities are revealed quickly.

“Oh, it’s those boys from English class,” I say with a flick of my hand.  Lydia laughs, Allison joining in soon after but quieter.  I lean forward, balancing my chin on my hand.  “They’re kinda cute, in a nerdy kind of way.”  Allison nods and Lydia’s face pulls into a frown.  

“Out of all the guys, you think they’re cute?  Them? Seriously?”  The confusion on her face makes me want to laugh, though I refrain from doing so.  “Evie, I can understand.  The boys at your old school were atrocious to look at, all weak jawlines and colorless eyes.  Not sure about you Allison, but you have to have better taste than that.  You’ve been all around, surely there’s better guys than those two?”  I shrug, turning my attention back to the boys running on the field.  

“It’s not just about looks Lydia, it's about personality.  I much prefer someone with a sense of humor over someone with perfect cheekbones,” Allison says with a smile.  I nod, agreeing.  I notice how she watches McCall and already I know she’s interested in him.

“Personally, I don’t really care about gender either.  If they have a good personality, what should it matter what they look like?” I say.  Lydia just shakes her head and turns her attention back to the field to watch Jackson practice.  I nudge Allison and lean in close to whisper in her ear.  “That got her to shut up, huh?”

Allison laughs and bumps me with her shoulder.  The rest of the period passes in relative silence.  At one point, I pull out a book and start reading, the pages fluttering in the slight breeze.  McCall apparently has improved immensely over the summer according to Coach.  However, every time the ball was caught a shiver ran up my spine at the sound.  It hurt my ears to hear, like nails on a chalkboard but not nearly as bad.  It got to the point that the sound was making my head throb in pain.  I rub my temple and dig through my bag until I find the bottle of ibuprofen I had stashed in there.  I take three and take a swig of water out of Lydia’s bottle.  I pat her leg before going inside at the sound of the bell.

“See you after school?”

She nods, dismissing me with a wave of her hand.  I grab my bag and hurry to my next class.  The rest of the day passes quickly and I meet Lydia back at her car.  Jackson and her are making out quite ferociously on her side of the car, making me roll my eyes.  I sigh and go to find another ride.  Maybe Allison could give me a ride.  

As I walk back towards the school, I get body slammed by some guy, sending me tumbling to the ground.  My books fly everywhere and the other person makes a loud sound of pain.  

“I am so sor- oh it’s you.”  The guy sighs, and overs a hand to help me up.  “You really need to learn to watch where you’re going.”  It’s the guy from English, Stiles I believe, that I had bonked heads with earlier.  He hauls me up to my feet and picks up my sprawled books while I dust myself off.  The cuts on my knees are screaming, but the pain is quick to fade after a few seconds.  

“Thanks,” I say with a smile, happy to reconcile.  I hold out a hand.  “I’m Evie, by the way.  Stiles, right?  I’m really sorry about earlier.”  The boy blinks in surprise, not used to female attention.  He takes my hand and shakes it.  I tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, taking my bag back from him.  Stiles looks over my shoulder, realizing without me saying anything why I was walking away from Lydia’s car.  “Would you mind giving me a lift home?  My ride’s kinda busy.”  He gets a funny grin on his face before nodding.

I follow him back to his car, an older Jeep that I instantly fall in love with. Jeeps have always been my favorite car, and I was saving up for one before… well, before last winter.  I can feel my face breaking trying to contain my smile.  Stiles raises an eyebrow and opens my door for me.  The inside of the Jeep is messy, as if he kind of lives in it.  

“So, Evie.  How’re you related to Lydia?” he asks as I climb into the car.  I throw my bag in the back and buckle my seat belt.  

“She’s my cousin, our mothers are sisters.  I just moved here from Kansas.”  Stiles frowns, as if Kansas is an insult to him personally.  He turns the ignition and we drive silently after I give him my address.  I wince only once, when we hit a pothole in the road that reminds me that my calf is not ok.  I lean down to check the bandage, but there’s no new blood.  Stiles looks over at me at that moment.

“What happened there?” he asks.

“Oh, I got bit by some animal last night in the woods,” I say with a wave of my hand, like it’s no big deal that I probably should have gotten a rabies shot.  He slams the brakes, shooting me forwards in my seat and hitting my head on his dash.  “Ow!”  I rub my forehead, with an indignant look on my face.  “What is your obsession with hurting me today?”  He turns towards me quickly, one arm flinging itself over the back of my seat.  

“You got bit in the woods last night?” he asks.

“Yes, what part of that did you not understand?”

“My friend Scott was bit last night too!  Why were you in the woods?  Did you hear about the body that was found?” he says in rapid fire.  “I wonder if it was the same animal… Can I see the bite?”  My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion but show him the wound only to discover that it has fully healed.  His eyes go wide and I hear him mutter, “oh fuck.”

“I - I don’t understand.  It was bloody this morning…”  Stiles looks panicked, and honestly I’m on the precipice of a panic attack myself.  “I promise!  I had to change the bandage this morning because it had bled through the first one.  I have no reason to lie to you.”

“I don’t understand then.  You don’t even have a scar.”  I sigh and lean my head onto the dash.  Could this day get any weirder?  Stiles sits up straighter in his seat, as if an idea came over him.  “Have you been having hearing and light sensitivity?  Scott said earlier that the lights were hurting his eyes and that he had heard someone’s phone call from outside.”  I nod, narrowing my eyes at him.  

“I’ve also had a sensitivity to certain smells.  Like earlier, you smelled awful.”  A hurt look crosses his face, and I try to quickly amend.  “You smell fine now, but earlier you reeked of death…” I pause.  “Maybe that was Scott.  I apologize for saying you smelled bad.”  He shakes his head, a small smile on his face.

“You’re forgiven.”  The smile falls when he realizes how close the symptoms were to each other.  To be honest, it was kind of freaking me out as well.  Before I know it, the Jeep is in motion again but the opposite way from my house.  

“Where are we going?”

“My house, we need to do some research.”  At the word research, a smile floods my face, despite the panic still racing through me.  I adore research.  Stiles turns to me, a frown on his face.  “We have to figure this out.  You and Scott could be in serious trouble if we don’t find out what the hell is going on.”

……………………………………………………………………………………..

We researched for hours, her chair pulled directly next to mine as we poured over any information on werewolves and the supernatural that we could find.  Every once in a while I would look over at her, still astounded by how much she looked like Lydia.  They could almost be twins, if you didn’t look too long at them.  Evie must have gotten her dad’s eyes because they were a deep brown, darker than even Scott’s eyes, while Lydia had green eyes that reminded me of spring grass.  

Everytime Evie scooted her chair closer to mine, I moved away slightly.  Not because I didn’t like her, but because she kind of scared me, and not in a fun way.  If she and Scott are what I think they are, they could be really dangerous.  As we collected evidence, the more worried Evie became.  I watched as her eyebrows scrunched together with every new piece of information.  

“So, if I am a werewolf, when’s the next full moon?” she asks suddenly.  I do a quick search and look back at her, finding that her eyes had gone wide, the pupil completely taking over the brown in her eyes.  The next full moon was this Friday, coincidentally the same night as Lydia’s party.  “Oh this is bad… this is very, very bad.”

“Why?  It won’t be that hard to just not go.”  She shakes her head, running her fingers through her already messed up hair.  It had come down from her small ponytail about an hour into our research.  

“The whole reason she’s even having a party is because of me.  It’s my introduction into Beacon Hills.”  Evie sighs, tugging on her hair once more, as if it was a nervous tick that she couldn’t control.  “She’ll be pissed if I don’t show up.”  She turns to me, worry shining in her eyes.  “I’m a pretty calm person.  Do you think I’d be ok?”

I pondered the question.  Evie did seem pretty laid back and generally pretty calm.  I didn’t know her that well, but if the hours we had spent pouring over information wasn’t an indicator of how calm she was, I didn’t know what would be.  But with all the information we had found, I wasn’t sure she’d be able to stay calm, especially in a party setting.  The lights, the music, the drinking.  It was a lot to handle, even for a normal person.   

“I have more confidence in you than I do Scott, but I still don’t think it would be a good idea.”  She nods, a sad look crossing her face and I instantly feel bad.  I lay a hand on her shoulder and squeeze gently.  Then, an idea pops into my head.  “What if I went with you to the party?”  She raised an eyebrow.

“As what, my date?”  I blink a few times, not having considered the possibility that people would think we could be dating.  

“I mean, it would be easier to explain than the actual reason.  And, I don’t think I’d be invited unless you personally invited me anyways,” I say.  Evie considers it for a moment, thinking through all the possible scenarios and how it could go wrong if she didn’t have someone with her to calm her down if the change was too powerful.  “Before you decide, I really should call Scott and tell him about what we’ve found.  I don’t think he’ll be as accepting of this fate as you are.”  She nods.

“Do I need to find a ride home or do I need to be a part of this?  What would you like me to do?” she asks and I balk at the question.  I had just assumed she’d stay, not really understanding that she may need to go home to her family.  It was weird how comfortable I was around her already, despite our rocky start.  I consider her question for a moment, before deciding Scott would probably be more willing to hear it from a stranger than me.  

“I think you staying would be a good idea.  Scott isn’t the most perceptive guy, usually needs a helping hand to understand things.  Maybe if you’re here to help me explain, he’ll be more apt to not do something stupid.”  She laughs, a bright happy sound.  I notice that we haven’t eaten yet, and it’s getting to be kinda late.  “Hey, I’m going to go call Scott and then order a pizza, anything in particular you want?” I ask, hoping she doesn’t say something dumb like pineapple.  She taps her chin, considering all the options.  

“Do they have meat lovers?” she asks.  I nod and go off to take care of my calls, leaving her in my room alone.  The one to Scott goes immediately to voicemail, as usual.  Placing the order to the pizza parlor was a lot easier and quicker than I thought it would be, considering the time.  I walk back into my room, only to find that Evie has made herself comfortable on my bed and is doing homework.  She looks up and says, “What?  I have math homework.”  I just shake my head, a small smile on my face.

We work on our homework in relative silence, Evie only talking when she has a question about a math problem.  The pizza arrives and I finally get a hold of Scott, who’s at my house in less than ten minutes.  The call was filled with him gushing about asking Allison to the party on Friday, though I’m not sure how he pulled that off.  He’s at my house in less than ten minutes, a knock at the door announcing his presence.  

I watch Evie shake out her shoulders, as if preparing herself for battle.  She’s not entirely wrong.  Opening the door for Scott and ushering him in takes all of five seconds and he’s heading up to my room before the door is even shut.  I hurry after him, only for me to run into his back.  Hard.  He had paused in the doorway, blocking me from entering.  

“OW! Dude you can’t just stop in the middle of a doorway!”  Scott turns to look at me, a confused look on his face.

“Sorry, wasn’t expecting you to have a girl in your room!”  I snort, a bit impressed with myself at the realization that I did have a girl in my room, and push past him into my room, where Evie is sitting cross legged on my bed.  She waves, a piece of pizza in hand.  Scott looks back at me with a gleam of mischief in his eyes.  I huff out a sigh, already knowing what he’s thinking.  

“It’s not what it looks like… I mean, it may look like what it looks like, depending on what you think it looks like but it’s not…” I drift off, earning a snort from Evie.  I glare at her, but she just shrugs and nervously starts picking at her eyebrows.  “Not helping.”

“So what’s she doing here then?  Is this a date? Am I interrupting or…?” Scott asks.  Evie just laughs, shaking her head.  I glare at her again, she’s really not helping my case at all.

“No, you’re not interrupting, but we do have some things to share with you,” she says.  She meets Scott’s eyes, not an ounce of fear in her body.  “We have the same problem.  Both of us were bit by an animal last night in the woods that half a dead body was found in.  I can’t be sure that it was the same animal, but my bite has disappeared, and I’m assuming yours has as well.”  Scott looks at me, confusion written plainly on his face. 

Evie just sighs, already distraught.  “We’re werewolves.  The light and sound sensitivity, the heightened smell, the quick healing.  All signs point to lycanthropy.”  Her eyes drop to her hands, which had moved from messing with her eyebrow to messing with the ends of her pant leg.  With a sigh, she pulls the pant leg up, showing Scott where her bite mark had been.  Evie runs a finger over it, as if checking to see if there was anything left of the wound.  “This morning I was bleeding and now there isn’t even a scar.  I know it’s a lot to take in but we have to be careful from now on.  We’re dangerous,” she says, her voice dropping to a whisper.

Scott looks at me, and I nod, confirming what she had said.  He shakes his head, either not believing it or not wanting to believe it.  I open my mouth to explain more, but he’s out the door before the time the words can form.  I exchange a look with Evie and hurry after him, hoping to catch him before he goes completely loco.  I catch up, winded and with a racing heart.

“Dude, you have to believe us.  This isn’t some prank.  You have to be careful, especially on Friday.”  Scott turns quickly to look at me, making me backpedal a few feet so I don’t get run over, again.  Confusion is written plainly on his face.  I mentally kick myself; of course Scott wouldn’t know what Friday meant in werewolf terms. 

“Why?  What happens Friday?” he asks.

“Friday’s the full moon, man.  That’s when your bloodlust will be at its strongest.  You won’t be able to control yourself, especially around Allison.”  His eyes flash yellow, something I hadn’t seen Evie’s do yet.  I don’t back down, even though I really should have.  Anger radiates from him, and I put my hands up in surrender.  “I know it’s a lot to take in, but you gotta believe me.  I’ve seen the way Allison affects you, it’ll be easy to lose control, especially at the party.  You have to cancel.”

“I can’t do that!  This may be my one shot with her!  Nothing will get in the way of that!” he yells.  I stop, not used to being yelled at by Scott.  He turns away from me, returning to his fast pace and I let him leave.  Knowing he won’t come back, I turn back towards my house

Once inside, I raced up the stairs to see that Evie was packing up her homework, her back turned towards me.  She turns when she hears me at the door, a sad smile on her face.  Evie tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear and pushes her glasses up her nose before speaking.

“So, he took that rather well huh?”  I let out a strangled laugh and collapsed on my bed. I feel, rather than see, her sit down beside me.  “Hey, if nothing else we’ll know where he’ll be Friday.  We can keep an eye on him.”  She smiles down at me and I smile back, before a thought hits me.

“We should have told Scott that we were dating.  Would have made Friday so much easier.”  She snorts, flopping back on the bed.  

“May have made it easier, but I have a feeling he’s going to ignore us like the plague.”  She sits back up with a huff.  “Well, I guess you better get me home.  I had told my parents that I was studying with a friend but after last night it wouldn’t surprise me if they gave me a tighter curfew.”  With a groan, I sit up as well.  It was well past ten, we had been here for at least seven hours.  

The drive to her house was quick and mostly silent.  I could tell that all of this weighed heavily on Evie; her shoulders had drooped and her eyes were dull.  As I pull into her driveway, she turns towards me, putting a hand on my arm and squeezing lightly.  

“My dad is standing outside.  He’s going to say some really dumb things,” she says.  I nod, not fully understanding but agreeing nonetheless.  “Pick me up tomorrow morning?  I don’t know if Lydia planned to pick me up or not and I’m not allowed to drive.”  I scrunch my eyebrows together, confused.  Evie just shrugs.  “I’m not… a safe driver.”  

I hop out to help her out, still pretending her leg hurt even though it had healed over.  I grab her bag for her, a tight smile pulling across her face.  Handing it to her, I look towards where her father lingered on the porch.  I wave and he starts coming closer to say hi, I guess.  Evie stands there nervously, unsure to how her father will react.  He meets us at the Jeep and we shake hands.  I make sure to keep a smile on my face, though his grip feels like he’s going to break my knuckles.  

“Thanks for bringin’ her home, it’s much appreciated.”  I nod, trying to seem as non threatening as possible.  He claps me on the back.  “Now then, was this a date or just studying?”

“Dad!” Evie exclaims.  Her dad just holds his hands up in surrender and smiles at his daughter.  “No, it wasn’t a date.  Stiles was helping me with math, right Stiles?”  I gulp and force a smile.  

“Yes sir, just math.”  Evie smiles at me before pushing her dads towards the house.

“See you tomorrow!” she calls over her shoulder, her dad’s laugher catching on the wind.  I smile as I get back into the Jeep.  Maybe, just maybe, this will all work out okay. 

………………………………………………………………………………………

My sleep that night was less than restful.  I had dreams where I had claws and fangs and I ran through the woods naked.  I woke up to my mom yelling my name from downstairs.  I groan, dragging myself out of bed to get dressed quickly.  I pull on a patterned green sweater with a black skirt and grab my boots from downstairs, not bothering with makeup or trying to make my hair look better.  I ran my fingers through it and called it a day.  Grabbing a granola bar and my bag, I was out the door and hurtling for my ride within ten minutes.  I skid to a stop when I see not only Lydia’s car, but also Stiles’ Jeep waiting for me.  

“Well this won’t end well,” I say under my breath.  Lydia gets out of her car and reaches me first, a confused look on her face.  I smile at her, hoping that she won’t be angry.

“What is he doing here?  I thought I was your ride to school!” she says with a stomp of her foot.  I look over her shoulder and make eye contact with Stiles, hoping he understands that he needs to get his ass out of the car now.

“He gave me a lift yesterday,,” I say as Stiles hops out of the Jeep and rushes towards us.  “Stiles offered to pick me up today, since I hadn’t heard from you.”  I smile apologetically at my cousin, watching her eyes narrow at the two of us.  Stiles throws an arm over my shoulders, giving me a small smile.  Something must click for Lydia because her face quickly changes.  

“I said to get a guy on the lacrosse team!” she exclaims, surprising me slightly.  

“You play lacrosse right?” I ask, actually unsure if I had dreamed that part of the day or not. He looks back and forth from Lydia to me before nodding.  I turn back to Lydia, a smile on my face.  “You never said that he had to play, just that he had to be on the lacrosse team.”  

“Be careful with my cousin,” she says before getting into her car and speeding off. 

“Let’s get going.”  Stiles opens my door for me, yet again.  “Thanks, but you really don’t have to do that.”  He just shrugs and I get into the car with a sigh.  The ride to school was relatively quiet, mostly filled with our combined anxious sounds.  Stiles wouldn’t stop drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and my leg wouldn’t stop bouncing.  

“So, how are we planning to make people think we’re going out?” he asks.  I sigh, a headache already forming.  

“Lydia already assumes we either hooked up or something.  She’ll spread that like wildfire.  We won’t have to do anything,” I say softly, pulling at my eyebrows in nervousness.  Stiles just nods and opens my door for me, yet again.  We walk into school together and immediately people start staring.  Stiles and I hurry towards English, with moments to spare.  

The stares don’t stop there.  I’m not sure if it’s out of confusion or jealousy, but either way I’m not a fan.  It follows me the entire day, only stopping when I get to lunch and a different scandal has happened, taking the heat from Stiles and I.  

After grabbing my tray, I search for his shaved head, already deciding that I would rather sit with him and Scott than deal with Lydia’s angry eyes that had been following me all day.  Unfortunately, that didn’t last long.  Almost instantly, Lydia is there, Jackson and Allison in tow.  Jackson plops down, a scowl on his face.  I really don’t get a good vibe from him, but that’s a conversation for another day.  

“We are going shopping after school today,” Lydia states.  I make eye contact with Allison, who was sitting very closely to Scott.  I raise an eyebrow at her, somehow already knowing that she won’t want to go.

“Is there a reason why?” I ask.  Lydia flips her hair over one shoulder, hitting Stiles in the face.  I hold in a laugh, knowing that would set her off.  Allison shakes her head at me, desperate to get out of this endeavor.  I turn towards Lydia, a frown settling on my face.

“You both need new outfits for the party,” she states matter of factly.  I sigh, already knowing we won’t win this argument.  “Evie’s closet is totally void of any party clothes and I know Allison’s is pretty much the same.”  Lydia pointedly looks at both Scott and Stiles.  “Since my friends refuse to find acceptable dates, everyone’s outfits will have to be perfect.  Especially you, Biles.”

“It’s actually…” he starts, then Lydia glares at him.  “You know what, Biles is fine.”  I laugh softly, gaining a frown from Stiles.  

“If I agree, do I get to pick out my own dress?” Allison asks.  I shake my head, already knowing the answer.  Lydia would not relinquish that particular thing.  If she couldn’t pick our dates, she sure as hell would pick what we wore.  

“Of course not, I already have them picked out.  We just have to go pick them up.”  Allison and I make eye contact, shrugging.  What could go wrong?  It was just shopping.  

The shopping actually didn’t take too long.  She really had picked the outfits out already.  Lydia refused to let us see them, but insisted they would fit perfectly.  I hated to doubt her, but I was pretty sure she didn’t quite understand I wasn’t a size four.  So, I made sure to check at least the size of the dress was correct.  Shockingly, it was and I was insanely grateful that she hadn’t tried to stuff me into something too small.  

We dropped Allison off first, her house not too far from my own but much larger.  Her family must have money out the ass to afford it.  After exchanging goodbyes (and numbers since I had basically no one's information), Allison hops out and leaves Lydia and I alone in the car.  I decide to take the plunge and apologize for this morning.

“I didn’t mean to upset you this morning.  I didn’t know you’d show up to give me a ride,” I say softly.  Lydia shakes her head, waving a hand to dispel any hard feelings.

“I was more confused than upset.  I wasn’t expecting you to get a guy so fast.”  She nudges me with her shoulder, getting me to laugh.  “While I still don’t get why him, I won’t question your choice too much, as long as he keeps you happy.  You deserve to be happy after everything.”  I smile sadly and she grabs my hand, squeezing twice.  I grab all my stuff from the backseat and head inside.

I work on homework for a few hours and take a break to answer texts and eat dinner.  Around ten, I hear my phone ring and Stiles' name pops up on my phone.  I answer, a smile on my face.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask quietly, fully aware of my parents sleeping in the room over from my own.  I close my door, hoping that keeps the noise to a minimum. 

“I have a lot to talk about, are you home?”  I furrow my brows.  His voice is echoey and filled with anxiety, making me wonder what he’s found.  

“Yeah…” I say cautiously. 

“Okay, great!  I’ll be there in a few.”  

I wait for a few minutes and then I hear rocks hitting my window.  I open it, seeing Stiles standing not too far away with a handful of pebbles.  Racing downstairs, I let him in and hold a finger to my mouth to signal that he would have to be quiet.  We’re up the stairs in record time and I softly shut my bedroom door behind us.  I watch Stiles take in the mess that is my room, and I rush around to pick it up a little to make it look less like I just moved in, even though I had.  Stiles watches me with a grin on his face, all anxiety from the call dissipating from his face.  

“So, what happened?” I ask, keeping my voice low.  He takes a deep breath, readying himself before launching into his story.

“Me and Scott were in the woods, trying to find the other half of the body that was found because he said he saw it before he got bit.  We didn’t find the body, but we did see Derek Hale, who was being extra spooky in the woods for apparently no reason and-” I hold my hand up for him to pause and he stops mid sentence.

“Hold up.  Who’s Derek Hale?” I ask.

“Oh, I totally forgot you just moved here. Of course you don’t know. Duh Stiles.”  He hits himself on the head, making me laugh a little.  “Six years ago there was a fire at the Hale house, and lots of the family died.  Only a few survived, one of which being Derek.  Everyone thought he left after the fire, but apparently he’s come back.”  I nod, now somewhat caught up.  “Anyways, he was in the woods being creepy and threw Scott’s inhaler back to him.  We think he may be behind the murder and you guys being bitten but we aren’t sure and have no definite proof.”  At the mention of the bite, I start to pace.  Stiles sits on my bed, picking at my bed spread.  

“So, if he’s the one that bit both me and Scott, what does that mean?  Is he the alpha?” I ask.  Stiles shrugs, unsure.  He seems to be more occupied with looking around my room.  I sigh, deciding to sit down next to him, forgetting that I was already in my pajamas.  With a boy in my room.  The urge to pull the blanket over my head was getting stronger by the minute.  Lydia would skin me alive when she found out that I had Stiles in my room and didn’t make out with him.  I laugh softly and turn myself towards him.  

“What?” he asks, his whiskey brown eyes searching my face.  I just smile, knowing he may not like my answer.

“Lydia will be so disappointed in me,” I say with a sigh.  His eyebrows furrowed together, making me laugh again.  “I have a boy in my room, with no intentions to make out with him.”  He laughs, shaking his head.  I pat his knee.  “Well, anything else you need to tell me?” I ask.

“How’re you doing, with all of this?” he asks.  I sigh, running my fingers through my hair, contemplating how much to share.  This was just one more problem in my life that couldn’t be fixed, and I had a lot of practice with such things so I wasn’t nearly as freaked out as someone else would be.  I settle for a nicer version of the truth, knowing that while I felt comfortable around Stiles, he didn’t need to know all the dirty details of my life right now.  

“To be honest, not well.  Every little sound is amplified tenfold and certain smells make me want to vomit.  Heightened senses are not the superpower I wanted,” I say with a slight smile.  

“You’re handling it all really well, a lot better than Scott is.  You just seem so…” he pauses, searching for the right word.  I raise an eyebrow as he settles on the word that everyone uses to describe me.  “Calm.  If I were you, I’d be freaking out.” I shrug, stretching my legs out on my bed.

“My constant state is freaking out.  I was diagnosed with anxiety in middle school and I take antidepressants that even me out a lot.  I haven’t had an attack since last year,” I say, hoping he won’t ask me to elaborate.  Thankfully, he does not.  Stiles just nods, as if understanding without me having to say anything.  “This whole werewolf thing may be good for me, maybe the healing factor will seep into my brain and repair the pathways that make me anxious.”  He laughs.

“Well, it did fix Scott’s asthma.”  He pauses, pondering something.  “Have you tested the extent of your reflexes?  Scott got weirdly good at lacrosse right after he got bit, catching every ball that was thrown at him.  I wonder if yours have gotten better too.”  I shrug, unsure if I really wanted to know or not.  I was never good at sports before, what would be the point in trying out for them now?

“I’m not really an athletic person,” I say, gesturing towards my body.  Stiles rolls his eyes, a funny look on his face.

“Oh please.  Every time I turned around today some new guy was staring at you.  Every guy on the team thinks you’re an absolute babe,” he states.  The compliment catches me off guard, though not totally unwelcome.  It had been a long time since someone noticed the way I looked, without being creepy about it.  Stiles pats my bare thigh, not noticing the way I tense up as he does so, and stands up.  “Well, I’d better get going before your dad threatens to kill me.”  I laugh, shaking my head.  “See you bright and early tomorrow morning?”

“Sure thing,” I say with a smile.  He starts to walk out, but pauses in the doorway.  Stiles turns to look at me, a weird glint in his eyes.

“Oh, and by the way.  I meant what I said.  You’re a total knockout.”  He leaves with a smirk, my mouth hanging open like a fish.  I stay like that for a good amount of time, trying to decipher if he was flirting or just being nice.

It takes a while, but I finally settle myself down enough to sleep and for once, I don’t have any nightmares or dreams.

I woke up on time for a change and took time to look nice.  I showered, removing the bandage and deciding that I wouldn’t put another on.  The people who knew wouldn’t notice and it was a waste of gauze.  I select a cream colored button down sweater, a pair of brown trousers, and a pair of ballet flats.  I curl my hair a little and add minimal makeup along with my necklace and a few rings.  Shockingly, I even have time to eat an actual breakfast before I hear the Jeep pull into the drive.

I kiss my mom’s cheek on the way out, grabbing my bag and heading out. Stiles opens my door for me and I smile up at him.  We chat on the way to school about nothing in particular and our day goes much the same way as yesterday.  We eat lunch together, Allison and Lydia joining us once again.  Jackson is there too, but he doesn’t talk much; he mostly just glares and looks moody.  I sincerely don’t know what Lydia sees in him, I can’t detect any sort of a personality coming from him.

Lydia drives me home after school, our conversation filled with talk of the party.  She seemed confident in my abilities to get there myself, not offering me a ride or anything.  Getting ready by myself feels like a monumental task, especially since tonight was not only the party but also the full moon.  My first full moon as a werewolf, and I was going to a party.  Honestly, how dumb am I?

I pick nervously at my cuticles as I pull the outfit we decided on out of it’s bag. I let out a soft gasp; Lydia had picked out a deep green dress with a corset-esque bodice and long lace sleeves.  It was short and made of a satin material, which would hug my curves nicely without feeling clingy.  If I was being honest, the dress kind of scared me.  I’m not used to showing so much skin, especially since I would be in front of so many people.  

I slip the dress on, skipping looking in the mirror just yet and heading towards the bathroom to do a more dramatic makeup look.  My version of dramatic is just a heavier blush and a slight winged liner.  I refresh my curls from this morning, making a few frame my face.  I also make sure I put in contacts, though I have noticed my eyesight getting better.  I slap on a little lip gloss and hurry to put on the heels that Lydia had chosen.  

Remembering that tonight may not go so well, I pack a small bag with extra comfortable clothes, just in case I wolf out and end up naked somewhere.  I pat Persephone on the head as I grab a pair of sneakers to throw into my bag when I hear Stiles’ Jeep pull up to the house.  

He gets out to help me get myself out to the car, somehow knowing I’m worthless at walking in heels.  I notice that he’s gotten very dressed up for a party.  He’s paired a light pink dress shirt with a black tie and grey suit jacket with skinny jeans.  I raise an eyebrow, wondering if he got dressed in the dark but not really caring too much.  I have come to appreciate his weird sense of style, with his many layers of shirts and odd pairings of colors.

When he finally looks at me, his mouth drops, making me laugh loudly.  I can’t say I was expecting that kind of reaction but I won’t say no to it.

“You look… wow!”  I shake my head at him, a smile crossing my face.

“Yeah?”  I do a little spin for him, just to get the full effect.  Stiles laughs and helps me into the Jeep.  I watch him rush to his side and get in the car.

“So, I’ve got some things prepared in case you feel like you may lose control.”  He pulls a duffle bag out of the back seat and hands it to me gently.  “I have rope, cuffs, and if it comes to it, chains.  You said Lydia had a basement, right?”  I nod and he continues.  “If we have to, we can keep you down there away from everyone.”  Something on my face must have betrayed my thoughts of worry, because he quickly adds, “not that I think you’ll have too much of an issue with it.  You seem pretty in control right now.”

I smile, but something must have changed in my face because Stiles’ eyes lock onto my own.  Fear leaks out of him, the smell of it hitting me quickly.

“What?  What’s wrong?” I ask, immediately worried.

“Your eyes were yellow for a second.  I hadn’t seen them do that yet.”  His fingers start drumming on the wheel, an anxious tick of his that I nearly duplicated by bouncing my leg.

“Oh.  Is that bad or…?”  I gnawed on my lip, hoping that my eyes changing color wasn’t a bad omen of what was to come.  

“I don’t think so.  You weren’t doing that on purpose right?”  I shake my head.  “Maybe it was triggered by feeling anxious.  I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”  He smiles, but the reek of fear lingers.  

The party goes off without a hitch.  Lydia really does throw great parties, though I barely see her or Allison the entire time, though I try to periodically check on them, just to make sure.  Allison seems to be having a really good time with Scott, and Lydia is off with Jackson somewhere almost constantly disappearing into dark corners to make out.  

I stick with Stiles most of the time, his hand on my arm a constant comfort.  We drink a little, but I mainly try to stay away from the alcohol.  The lights outside hurt my eyes, so we stayed inside. He barely leaves my side, only leaving for a few minutes to check Lydia’s basement.  Stiles is back within moments, finding me in the same place he had left me. We dance a little, his moves goofy and catching me off guard.  I genuinely started having a good time, the worry that had consumed me for the past few days slowly leaking out of me.  

However, sometime around ten, Stiles rushes out to follow Scott out of the party and leaves me on my own, without much of an explanation.

“I’ll be right back!” he yells before disappearing.  I try to keep to myself after that, not wanting to risk anything.  Not long after he leaves,  I realize that I haven’t seen Allison in a long time and go to find her.

“Hey have you seen Allison?” I yell over the music to Lydia.  She shakes her head, and continues to dance with Jackson.  I sigh, irritation crawling its way up my spine.  It couldn’t be that hard to know where one girl went, right?  I quickly crush the irritation, knowing that won’t help me find anyone.  

I head towards the bathroom, deciding that would be the quietest place to make a call.  I call Stiles, he doesn’t pick up.  Then I try to call Allison, no answer there either.  Frustration and anger fill me, nearly overtaking the anxiety of the situation.  I grip the sink and watch my fingers lengthen and grow sharp claws.  Looking up, I watch my face transform slowly; the space between my brows becomes flatter, my eyes turn a bright shade of yellow, and two pairs of fangs rip through my gums.  I groan, realizing how painful having extra teeth in my mouth was.  

I try to take deep breaths, to find my center but nothing works. God, Lydia will kill me if I mess up this stupid bathroom.  My face stays the same and at that moment I’m glad Stiles left to trail after Scott.  I don’t think I’d want him to see me like this.  Shockingly, at the thought of Stiles my claws slowly start retreating.  I watch as my hands return to normal in a few moments and the pain in my gums recedes slowly.  

Closing my eyes, I try to think more about Stiles and the way he calms me down.  I think about how his hand on my arm kept me stable tonight and my eyes return to their usual dark color.  Focusing on the image of him dancing in my head, I can feel my face settle back into its normal position.  I sigh, letting go of the sink and stare into the mirror to make sure everything is back to normal.  

Once I’ve assured myself I’m back to being myself, I smile at my reflection.  A sense of pride overcomes me, making my smile turn into a grin.  I didn’t hurt anyone.  A weight is slowly taken off my shoulders and I feel as if I can finally breathe again.  I made it through my first full moon without doing anything stupid, I wasn’t naked in the woods, no one was dead.  I could handle this.  I could do this.

#teen wolf #stiles stilinski #dylan o'brien #new oc #werewolf #i have too much time on my hands #things can only get better #teen wolf season one

[marauders-groupie]

How about.... 3, 15, 19, and free reign to answer any question that jumps out at you? :D

Thank you so much, Sara!

3. Favorite line/scene you wrote this year?

I’m proud of a lot of scenes and lines I wrote this year, but my personal favorite is this scene from Atlas Hands:

“Later, when ice no longer forms on the stairs of the ship and Clarke can step outside to drink her coffee before anyone else, she realizes that she had to be cold and hungry and weary to really come back home to herself. To feel strong. 

To feel like Clarke again.

She looks at herself in the mirror and for the first time in the longest time, she recognizes the person she sees.”

It was inspired by this quote from Thoreau. The notion really resonates with me. I’ve found the cold and hard physical work to be incredibly cathartic and healing. In many ways, the first chapter of Atlas Hands is easily one of the most personal things I have ever written.

15. Something you learned this year?

I learned that writing should be fun. Especially fic writing. 

I think I used to feel pressure, and felt influenced by certain fandom takes on things and characters, that a few years back, it felt like I wasn’t listening to my inner voice. But I came back wanting to write out of pure joy. I really needed a hobby. And if I’m writing fic as a hobby, then by God, it should be f u n.

I also love this quote by @eternalgirlscout about writing in general:

the secret, i’ve discovered, to actually writing, like actually sitting down and doing the damn thing, actually getting a word count up there, is to have an idea that makes you think “that’s ridiculous and self-indulgent and nobody else but me would want to read it” and then leaning as fully into self-indulgence as possible

I also really have a process where I’m just letting the ideas guide me, more than I plot them out ahead, so I’ve learned to lean into that and see where it takes me. It’s like being an adventurer (except no snakes and curses)!

19. Any new fics to start next year?

I already answered this about my WIPs, but I’d really love to start working on some of the following ideas:

Clurphy AU where half of their friendship group rejects Clarke after something happens (???), and she enemies to friends to lovers her way to Murphy. I really feel like Murphy would be a good influence on her; everyone keeps talking about forgiveness, I just want him to say: Listen, Griffin, you did your best. It’s time to let it go.

Peaky Blinders AU prompted by @bellarkesgodson MONTHS ago (Dora, I am so sorry) where Clarke and Bellamy are the leaders of rival gangs

Post S2 canon divergent fic where the Delinquents break away and form their own camp (I just need a lil joy)

As for free rein, I’d like to mention a few of the fics I loved this year:

24. Favorite fic(s) you read this year?

Moderation by @bettsfic - for the incredible way of depicting hope found at the rock bottom. 

The Sleep Series (and I Got That Feeling, That Bad Feeling in particular) by @star-sky-earth - for the fascinating character studies, and a honey-thick style of writing. 

Oh Darling, Here’s Hoping by @grumpy-bell - for the fairytales that remind me of why we need stories in the first place.

Imperfectly Perfect by @arysafics - for that special feeling of finding a fic that has an atmosphere where you just want to lay on back, and stay there forever.

Exiles by @kinetic-elaboration - for how cathartic and darkly delicious it was. 

The Earth Is Trembling on Some New Beginning  by @kindclaws - Sara, you know exactly what you did. You took so many fantastic prompts (which are usually hard to even imagine going together) and you created a tale that I just can’t get out of my head. 

Y’all, read these ASAP!

Fanfic End of the Year Asks

#thank you <333 #kindclaws #bellarke fic rec #asks #lana talks fic

[starrywonn]

cafe latte

not requested

a/n: a purely self indulgent barista jisung au bc i was STRESSED and i was watching re-feel and a LOT of cafe videos

pairing: barista! han jisung x baker! reader

genre: fluff

scenario type: bulletpoint

word count: 1.9k

warnings: none

jisung was a barista at the nineteen cafe

honestly speaking, he didn’t even plan on working here

he helped his friend, chan, once because he was bored of waiting for him and somehow, he got dragged into working at the cafe

he wasn’t complaining though

i mean he got some pretty amazing coffee, unlike the acrid, watered down liquid the uni cafeteria served

and he got to hang out with his friends who also worked there

so jisung was a real winner here

until the cafe’s main baker, woojin leaves the shop

jisung was almost bawling when he announced it

jisung: does this mean i’ll never get to eat any of your chocolate croissants anymore??? T^T

woojin: if you keep this up, i’ll bring chocolate croissants for everyone but u

jisung: nOOOOO i’m sorry :“”“”“” i love u please…. not my croissants…..

honestly, at that point, woojin wasn’t even sure if jisung loved him or his pastries more

but woojin still had to leave and they had to find a replacement asap

recruitment posters were put up all over the campus

baker needed! nineteen cafe @ jyp university. walk-in interview

so when you, a broke university student, see it, you thank the heavens

you baked pretty often and your creations weren’t too bad if you said so yourself :]]

plus the cafe was on campus grounds so it’s definitely worth a shot

you stand outside the cafe and your legs turn to jelly

“come on y/n!! it’s just an interview!! you have to do this or you’ll spend the rest of your life broke!!!!!” you whisper scream to yourself

you finally make your way in and look around the cafe

soft acoustic music is accompanied by the chatter of patrons and the clinking of cups on ceramic saucers

a well-built man dressed in a white button up and black pants tends to the cash register

there’s no one ordering anything so you scutter up to the counter

“hi, uh, i’m here for the interview?”

“ok hold on,” the man turns around, “channnn, there’s someone here for the interviewww”

a blond walks out of the kitchen, covered in flour

“hey, i’m chan. the manager here. i’m gonna make this quick since i have to continue to try and make brownies,” he dusts his hands on his apron and gestures to an empty table in the cafe

“what’s your name?”

you stutter out your name and he scribbles it in a notebook he takes out from his pocket

“alright, y/n, how long have you been baking for?”

“about six years”

he scribbles again

after that, the interview is a blur from your sheer nervousness

“ok, this is the last bit. can you make a batch of brownies? we have to gauge your abilities”

you follow him to the kitchen

“wait, weren’t you trying to make them just now?”

chan ignores your question

“if you need anything, just call me!!”

and with that, he strides out of the kitchen

oh, wow, okay, so this was happening now

you put on the apron on the counter and pull out all the ingredients and utensils

it’s like something takes over you

your hands move on their own and it truly is a beautiful sight :“))))

jisung walks into the back to get ready for his shift but to get there, he has to get past the kitchen

the smell of chocolate wafts into his nose

he pauses

this was the best thing he’s ever smelt

"god? is that you?” jisung whispers

you snort, “yeah but you can call me y/n”

jisung freezes up and his eyes widen

“holy shit. cool. gotta go. uh, bye.”

jisung runs out and almost slams into chan

“woah woah woah, what’s got you so jittery??” chan asks

“nothing BYE”

jisung bolts for the cashier, “ changbin, i’m here!!!! you can go nOw”

changbin, although very confused, leaves

it’s about a little into jisung’s shift when you come out to call chan

in your hands are a tray of the freshly baked brownies

you offer one to chan and he almost cries from joy

“this …. is absolutely amazing….”

he passes one to jisung who is still shaking on the inside

jisung bites a corner off the chocolatey treat

he almost swears that his soul leaves his body because it was THAT good

he gives you a thumbs up and a big smile

chan offers your brownies to a few others who all give great responses, making your confidence shoot up

“okay, y/n, we’ll send you an email if you’re accepted,” chan says

“ok, thanks”

you leave the store and celebrate

that went way better than you had expected

all you have to do now is to wait

that can’t be that hard right?

oh but it was

every notification from your phone and laptop made you leap from your chair

it’s two days later when you get the email

dear y/n, we are pleased to announce that you have been hired as nineteen cafe’s new baker. please come to the cafe tomorrow for your first day. thank you.

*cue celebration pt.2*

the next morning, you bust into the bakery, ready to kick some butt

the cafe is empty, save for chan and changbin setting up

the early morning light pours into the cafe through its ceiling-to-floor windows

chan notices you and hands you a slip of paper with all the stuff to be made

“there’s a file of recipes in the kitchen. it’s on the shelf above the bowls”

you thank him and look through the list

strawberry shortcake, coconut cake, chcoolate chip cookies, brownies, blueberry muffins, raspberry cheesecake

and there was a second page….

the list was so much longer than you expected

one thing at a time

you took out the bowls and ingredients

following the recipe, you managed to whip up a pretty decent cake

the rest of the baked goods you made were also pretty good

you place them in the display fridge

you heaved a sigh of relief

you didn’t screw up on your first day!!!!

go you!!!

second day of work

good news: chan gives you free reign to experiment and come up with new stuff

bad news: the stand mixer breaks

worse news: the stand mixer can only be fixed a week later

kind of good news??: you’re gonna get buff

so you have to ask for help from the rest of the nineteen staff

working with all of them, BUT jisung, is great

but you have to get help from him since you don’t always wanna bother everyone too often

search chaos in the dictionary and you’ll get a photo of you and jisung baking

you’ll make a bowl of batter and having that half that bowl gone after 5 minutes

“HOW AREN’T YOU DEAD FROM SALMONELLA YET??¿?¿¿??”

or when you bake anything with chocolate

oh my GOD

you’ll go to grab a baking pan

and when you come back, the packet is suddenly so light

you: did you eat the chocolate again

jisung, chocolate covering his mouth:

you:

jisung, chocolate still covering his mouth: …no

he’d pop into the kitchen even when you don’t need his help just to screw with you

“oooOOOoo, is this a new recipe”

“nope. also don’t eat the chocolate chip cookies,” you say, still focused on making frosting

jisung just lets out a roar of laughter

“ok i won’t”

“but i’ll eat the muffins”

“jisUNG NO”

but all that eating of RAW batter and other stuff finally gets to him

jisung calls in sick

as much as you want to laugh at him, you’re kind of concerned,,,,

like he ate,,,, so much,,,,

you ask chan for jisung’s address so you can visit him

he gives you a face but gives you the address anyways

while carrying some porridge and medicine, you knock on his door

a very pale and dishevelled jisung opens the door but he gives you his usual goofy smile

“can’t get enough of me huh?” he chuckles weakly

“yea, sure whatever you want to think. anyways, i brought some stuff”

“come on in. it’s a little bit of a mess though”

his coffee table is covered in papers and his laptop is playing an episode of brooklyn nine-nine

cushions are strewn on the couch, a blanket draped over them

“i’ll leave the medicine on your kitchen counter but you should eat the porridge now before it gets cold”

jisung nods and you hand him the tupperware box

he gladly opens it and eats a spoonful

“this is so good,” jisung says

“thanks”

you sit next to him quietly as you watch the show

“how are you feeling??” you muster up

“i literally have not seen the light of day in 5 YEARS, my stomach has not known pain like this” he says between mouthfuls of porridge

“that’s what you get for eating so much RAW batter”

“i know but it was so GOOD!! it was totallly worth it”

you shoot a glare at him and he returns a cheeky smile

you try your best to keep a straight face but you can’t help laughing at him

the buzzing of your phone calls for your attention

you grab it and look at the caller id

“oh shit. sorry ‘sung, i gotta go. uni calls! bye!!”

you scurry out of jisung’s apartment and sprint to campus for your project

a few days pass and jisung returns to work

he’s back to almost bouncing off the walls

but when he comes into the kitchen with your tupperware box and a cup of coffee in his hands, he’s flushed red

jisung leaves them on the counter and zooms out of the kitchen

you finish kneading the bread and pick up the cup of coffee

a heart sits on top of the foamy milk

you take a few sips before realising the small piece of paper on the saucer

your cheeks feel a slight warmth as you read the note

“thanks for the food and stuff!! let’s get dinner some time soon ok?? - jisung”

you kind of want to scream but you probably shouldn’t

what do you do????

do you text him??? tell him in real life??? give him another note???? maybe you should just burn the note and pretend he never gave anything to you???? 

all that fills your mind for the rest of the day is the note

soon, it’s the end of both yours and jisung’s shift

you grab your stuff from the lockers in the back

as you try to leave, jisung tries to enter the narrow doorway

you shuffle left and jisung shuffles right

“sorry,” you say as you go in the opposite direction

and so does jisung

HHHHHH

you stay put as jisung moves past you

turning around, you call out, “hey 'sung! are you free right now? i know a good sushi place around here”

jisung almost jumps from his skin and you can see the crimson creeping up his ears under the fluorescent lighting

“yea- yea i am!! just give me a minute to grab my stuff,” he replies

he comes out with his backpack soon after

jisung grabs your hand and brings you out of the cafe

“lead the way!!”

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids bulletpoint scenarios #han scenarios #han imagines #han bulletpoint scenarios #han jisung scenarios #han jisung imagines #han jisung bulletpoint scenarios #han jisung #bp: han jisung #bp: stray kids #w: han jisung #w: stray kids

[jewpacabruhs]

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 

#txt #mine