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wordsarefakeokay · 8 months

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The universe told me to stop and reflect. The universe told me "don't escape the safe place you've built, learn to see it as home again. Reinforce the barricades and the borders, define your home, name your boundaries. Define what is safe for you and cut what is not. Be okay with your decision and while you do that learn to walk again"

My hands are my voice. I'm finding my peace in the writing. These thumbs have written more essays and fairy tales than on this here heaven and earth Horatio....or at least at a computer. There's no end to the strength and dexterity of my thumbs on my phone. Instead of telling trolls on that inconsequential app Twitter off I spend my time playing with words like preschool blocks and building castles out of cardboard. I am a kid again putting the voice to the thoughts I was too scared to express, to scared to share. I was blinded by the idea of happily ever after and that once the girl gets her prince or resolves her issues, that's supposed to be the end of the story. Aren't you happy now you have a man? Aren't you happy now you had one meaningful conversation with your mom, isn't it all water under the bridge by now?

Now I can say no one breakthrough is not a solution. It's an epiphany and how you respond afterwards is your truth. Will you wake up and try better, wake up and try at all, or will you think that the epiphany is enough and that therapy is a quick fix solution. Will you try at all or stay the same. Will you be there or will you be present, aware, active, engaging. Will you just sit in the room and think that's enough or will you try. Your response tells us everything.

So I sit here in my princess and the pea bed of mattresses and it's soft and home and clean and safe. I still watch fairy tales but now I look at all the characters and think about who's storyline has helped me grow the most in that hour and a half. Who's growth is going to help me with my own and now I find that it changes day to day. I am the hero of my own story and sometimes that means I'm the side character for someone else because my relationship with them matters to me, they matter to me but also by listening to my dear ones woes I can reflect on my own. The advice I give them also helps me. And I practice this when I'm watching a movie. It's not just observing cinematic experience in a moment, it's learning how the story unfolds based on how the director sees it and understanding the use and importance of dialogue. Only the best shows make it hard to choose which storyline applies that day because everyone and everything about the story is working in perfect harmony. And everytime I am different, unique, feeling a singular train of thought that day and the movie, the story takes me somewhere else. They still come with a sick beat and melody to match so some things stay the same. It is me who is different and wiser now. And that is okay. That is called growth.

So that is why it must be that the universe said "nah honey take a chill pill" and zapped me with the fortune of a few broken foot bones and some joint fractures for measure. When they bury me in the ground my right foot will look different from my left. Those bones don't look the way they do when I started this trainwreck rollercoaster called life. So I stay comfy and I wait and I wait. I manage pain and I wait and I wait. I see my doctor take the medication eat food and I eat the right food and I wait. And wait. And wait until my doctor says otherwise. I'm healing, and mending skeletal framework and rewiring my muscles. And everytime I get a little closer to having a normal life again I go right back to bed before waking up to try again. Can't you see that I'm trying?

So you're not welcome here. Your presence isn't safe. You aren't a safe space for me anymore and looking back on it I don't really think you were. I don't know how you clearly must be for other people. You are a volcano ready to erupt at a kids science fair at the earliest sign of Pepsi on Mentos. You are a fire hydrant who's lug nut did not get properly tightened on it's last task. You are a hallowed antique store that is precious to your small community that I'm terrified to enter because I'm not worthy. Because the person behind the counter is analyzing my every move my every breath and tallying every close call or smudged foot print I leave. They're preparing to sanitize every surface, polish every piece, freaking sage your safe zone from the enemy that apparently was me all along. I was walking on eggshells in your safe space, even when you opened it up to me. I was holding my breath Incase I breathed funny and triggered something in you. I was recounting verbal chess moves to see where everything went wrong. And at the end of the day I learned

We are not good for each other. We are not safe for each other. Your china shop is at your exact specifications and new elements are not welcome in your life. And that's your problem because you missed out on knowing me. You missed out on really knowing me. You saw what you could gather in a year and you told me I wasn't good enough. You told me the four deadly words to anyone's soul: you're not good enough. You asked me to change and never wondered what I needed from you if we were gonna stay in each other's lives. Stay as family. Be a family. Family makes room in the shops for you to visit. I wanted to look at your antiques and doodads and any memory you ever wanted to share that was neat or painful or funny or raw. Any memory that told me about you. Your antique shop was in black and white while I was there and all I wanted to do was know what colors went where. I wanted to know who you were in all the funny or scary or weird or nice microcosms about you. What makes you a person and can I be good in your life like I thought you would be in mine.

I guess we answered that question the day I broke my foot. It was the day you tried to fix things. It was the day you broke my heart. The kind of break you've been through before but you thought was behind you. The hurt that reminds you of your mom, the mom who's better over there out of my own book store.

And the worst part is that I know if I told you this you'd tell me that the antique china shop I described is actually a mom and pop OG game stop before game stop became popular. Itd be the hit place with the kids in the district or the kids in the group home or the kids in the after school DARE program rode their bikes and scooters and skateboards to while laughing at lessons and thinking about drugs and how the things "you're too young to mess with" are actually something you can get at the guy from the 711 on the way to the mom and pop store. You'd tell me that the antiques found in here we're the treasures of your youth, that the retro pieces of my time were the norm in yours. That every day nostalgia for you was an era away that I can appreciate like a fine wine. We are different and I was trying to understand what was in your store. I was trying to understand why this mom and pop shop stayed at this block with this community and supported this family and these kids. Why is this a safe place for others and not a safe space for me. I was trying to understand. Do you hear that? I was trying. to. understand. And you let me explore for a little bit I think I sneezed or laughed with you about something or maybe it was a comment or my body language or my attitude but I also could have just breathed wrong and you put up hazards saying "this place isn't safe with my little sister anymore" with everyone in your life on alert to figure out how to keep a sniper rifle trained on me. And from that first offense, every little mistake I made got worse, there was no end to punishments or tough fam conversations. I left a job because of that kind of treatment why are you surprised I blocked you? Why did you make your hurt my problem at the end of everything when I told you it was over and that I was done. Why are you like this? I hope you answer that question later for yourself one day so I'll say it again for spiciness. Why. are. you. like. this? Why can't you change?

The worst part about it is I know how you'll respond to all this and it goes a little something like this: you'd respond in a way that would make it about you just so you could have the last say and end this on a note where your hurt is my problem (again) and you would end it in a way that would prompt me to respond. You talk to hurt and be right so you can sleep at night and I talk to heal and grow. We're different. And when things go bad, things are worse before the bull breaks the retro shop.

The bull was you all along. Please know that before we talk again.

#things i wish i could say #things i wish i told my sister #a word in edgewise #i think i was writing a warm up earlier about something else and then this came out #so this became my first draft of something i wish i had told my sister when i finally cut her off #monologues #monologuesque #id write a soliloquy in ny sleep if it would mean she would change #i wanted to work things out so badly #honestly just for her wife at the end but still. i found two big sisters for the price of one #and her wife was more a sister to me than my actual sister was #her wife gets angry but she doesnt get mean #and she would never yell at me #or make me feel like im not enough #i got the message loud and clear from my own mother if my sister is just gonna keep telling me that everytime we talk and not also try to #fix her shit at the same time or value my trauma as the same as her own well #fuck out of my life the doors right there #and i dont need you to contact me so ill block your ass on the way out ya asshole #dont be surprised when i dont want to try if you wont either #that kind of relationship is not worth my time until you change yourself #fuck you for hurting me and then thinking you can brush it away with an apology #the hurts still there dickhead #okay im done #theres obviously a lot left unsaid and i wish more than anything i could just out it behind me once and for all #but things still feel unresolved and i just know #i just know. shes going to show up after a cool enough period when things are good for her and shes feeling a high and she wants to brag #and tell me shes right and that she was kind of wrong but shes still right and i know that mentality will be sooo hard for her to break bc #its the only mechanism she has to help her sleep at night #anyway grrr #writing

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writershapeholeonthedoor · 7 months

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Mayores

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Someone sends you flowers and your girlfriend isn't happy about it.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language. Also, this was requested by one of you. Thank you for the request, anon!

MASTERLIST

You spent most of your life being disappointed at all the people you tried to date.

Don't take it the wrong way, but there was always something that displeased you in a way that you couldn’t brush off. Your first girlfriend would do overly romantic gestures that you were fairly sure she was getting ideas from the rom-com she was fascinated with. The relationship didn’t last that long, although she kept the record of the most amount of gifts any girlfriend ever gave you for many years after that. The girl that came after her was the complete opposite, difficult to show any emotions and very closed off. You fell hard, of course, and had your heart broken several times by her. She cheated, she lied, she manipulated, and she wouldn’t even tell you she loved you unless it was when you found out about another one of her affairs. You made yourself go through that hell for nearly three years.

After that, you vowed to give yourself some time to recover, to be alone and think about your own life. You were almost done with college at that point but that didn’t stop you from suddenly becoming the party girl you couldn’t be for the last few years. None of your one-night stands were remarkable enough for you to want a second round with them, even when some would ask and beg for it. It was fun, but you also met every type of girl in your adventures.

When you finally met someone again and tried to start a new relationship, things just didn’t work out. No dramas, it just didn’t. It was nice at first, but the spark was gone so fast that you two became friends very quickly. You were done with college soon after you broke up, so you packed your things and moved to NY.

It's not like you made a conscious decision not to date anyone. You didn’t put any walls around your heart or anything like that. What happened was that no one seemed to be able to catch your attention for more than a few dates. It was like they would bore you somehow, which was insane to think because you were sure they were all great people.

Just not the right ones for you.

So you kept living in NY while going through a small rampage of quick dates. You found a job, you started your career, you got yourself a nice apartment that was way more expensive than you thought it should be, you made some friends, and you lived the freedom of the early twenties.

Until you met her.

Scarlett Johansson popped up in your life out of nowhere, as if she had appeared out of thin air, but she soon proved to be very different from anyone else you knew. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what made her so different from the rest, but you figured it out after a while. She was older than you, she was already divorced, she had experience. She had experience.

It didn’t take long for you to fall for her, head first and without going back. How could you not? How could you not fall for her when she did things that no one else had ever done for you?

Scarlett would open the doors for you - and it would never fail to make you blush. She would bring you flowers, but not only when she was picking you up for a date - no, she was always pampering you with flowers, sometimes sending you a bouquet even when she was traveling and currently on the other side of the ocean. She would treat you to fancy dinners and expensive wines, and take you to try dishes you never even heard about. She would call you "darling" and kiss your cheek in public, although she wasn’t usually holding your hand - her hand was normally at your lower back, guiding you gently but with no hesitation. Scarlett would give you small gifts all the time too - you picked up on the fact that you would talk about a book you wanted to read one day and said book would be waiting for you in the next one. Scarlett even renounced her side of the bed because that was your favorite.

Overall, Scarlett was a true gentleman.

Except when you were inside the bedroom.

Oh, when you were inside the bedroom things were very different.

She never truly forewent her gentleman persona since she would whisper sweet nothings in your ear while pounding you mercilessly on the bed. Scarlett would pull your hair and kiss your jaw sweetly at the same time. She would ruin you and then go up your body kissing every inch of your skin while also telling you how good you were. She would call you a slut and, after you had the best orgasm in your life, she would prepare you a hot bath where she would rub your feet and tell you how much she loves you.

That’s why you were so damn surprised with the conversation that took place that night.

“Thank you for the flowers,” you said while peeling a potato.

Scarlett was cutting up bacon into cubes beside you, but she hit the knife a bit harder after she heard what you said. “I didn’t send you flowers.”

She looked at you with one quirked eyebrow, clearly asking you for more information, but you were too busy trying to fight back a blush. When you were called in the middle of your workday to go to the reception table to sign off a delivery, you were already halfway expecting it to be flowers. Scarlett didn’t make a habit of sending things to your work - unless you shamefully admitted you skipped a meal and she made a goal of trying to feed you - but you also never received anything unless it wasn’t for something Scarlett sent you.

So, when you got there and saw the bouquet, you immediately assumed it had been from your girlfriend, although you didn’t have time to send her a quick text to thank her because you needed to rush for a meeting and couldn’t take your phone with you. You were busy until closing hours and, since you had plans with Scarlett that night, you didn’t bother texting her, just deciding to thank her in person.

Which was what you were trying to do.

“What do you mean?” You asked with your head tilted to the side.

“I didn’t send you anything,” Scarlett repeated, now putting the knife down to fully look at you. “You received flowers today?”

“Yes,” you still sounded confused when you also stopped peeling the potatoes. “It wasn’t you?”

“No, no it wasn’t.” Her voice was firm now, leaving no room for arguments, and you could see her jaw clenching a bit. “Who sent you flowers?”

“Babe, I thought it was you!” You were fast to try to explain, even though you weren’t exactly sure how you could explain something like that. “I don’t know who - Oh.”

Oh, indeed.

The thought crossed your mind while you were talking, but that was the only thing that could make sense. If Scarlett hadn’t been the one to send you the flowers, there was only one other option for who did it. And it was bad because, sure, you didn’t want to receive flowers from anyone but your girlfriend, but the fact that it was that particular person who did it made it a thousand times worse.

Scarlett must have picked on your reaction because she raised one eyebrow at you, clearly not amused at all. “What does ‘oh’ mean?” You didn’t reply since you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to do so, although it only resulted in Scarlett crossing her arms while she glared at you. “Y/N.”

It was a warning, you knew that much. It usually happened when you were making too much noise when she was fucking you somewhere you might get caught or when you tried to distract her from her work by walking around naked around the house. It always came to you to decide if you would take the risk to keep pushing your limits or if you would back down - and, of course, sometimes you just kept pushing just to see what she would do to you.

That wasn’t the time for that, though.

The mood wasn’t set for sexy times. Scarlett seemed mad and impatient.

“Uh, I might know who sent them,” you admitted and watched as her eyes narrowed. “Are you sure it wasn’t you, though? Maybe you forgot about it.”

“Forgot?” Scarlett repeated the word with a scoff. “I would’ve done it in my sleep for me not to be able to remember if I sent my girlfriend flowers or not.”

Well, fine, so there was no hope for you. “Okay.” You bit your bottom lip and looked down at your feet. “Don’t be mad,” you plead in a whisper.

You were still looking down, but you heard Scarlett sighing before you felt her soft hands touching your face. She prompted you to raise your head, which you did, and you saw she was making an effort to wash the anger from her features. “I’m not mad,” Scarlett said and, despite it all, she sounded honest. Her thumbs were making soothing circles on your cheeks and you felt yourself relaxing when she smiled at you. “I’m sorry if it looked like I was. I was just caught off guard, that’s all.”

You nodded to let her know it was okay, but you still whimpered a bit. “It’s not really my fault.”

“I know it’s not.” Scarlett pulled you for a hug, making you rest your head on her shoulder as she kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was mad at you.”

You knew she wouldn’t actually be mad with you about it. Scarlett was way more laid back about it than you, for sure, so you weren’t honestly worried about it even for a second. If things happened the other way around - if Scarlett had been the one receiving flowers from someone who was trying to hit on her - you would be livid too. Not at her - the same way her anger wasn’t directed at you - but you also would’ve been in a much worse mood.

No one could blame you for pushing things a little bit, though. Not really. Because you knew Scarlett would comfort you and that she would jump in to make you feel safe in her arms, loved and cared for - and maybe that’s the exact reason you always pushed your limits around her.

“I, uh, I might know who sent them,” you declared once you pulled away a bit shyly. Scarlett nodded in encouragement for you to keep talking, so you did. “I had a meeting yesterday with someone from another company. It was just business, really, but I noticed that this guy wouldn’t stop looking at me and, when the meeting was over, he walked towards me to ask for my number so we could ‘discuss more personal matters’.” You made the quotation marks with your fingers while you rolled your eyes at the memory. It had pissed you off the day before and it was pissing you off again now that you were remembering it. “I told him I wasn’t interested and he walked away. I thought he got the message.” The last part was said with a groan as you pinched the bridge of your nose.

That made Scarlett’s expression shift to something assembling worry and concern. “Has he made you uncomfortable?”

“Just annoyed,” you sighed and shrugged. “He didn’t insist. But he apparently sent me flowers today, so I don’t know how I feel about that.” The conversation with the man had been strictly professional and you couldn’t imagine what happened to make him think he could send you flowers like that. You did care that he hadn’t taken the hint and was insisting, but, at the same time, you couldn’t care less if he suddenly had a crush on you. You had the most perfect woman beside you, you didn’t need or want anyone else.

Scarlett nodded and leaned to kiss your forehead again, more firmly now to offer you some comfort, before she offered you a grin. “Well, if he tries something like that again, you let me know,” she asked before her grin became a bit devious. “I could ask Hemsworth to give him a piece of mind.”

You laughed as you pictured the scene. A man like Hemsworth - a muscle mountain - walking inside someone’s office to defend your honor on Scarlett’s behalf. “I think he would shit his pants if he ever saw Hemsworth in front of him.”

“That would work perfectly for me.” Scarlett shrugged, now sounding amused about the whole thing.

You chuckled happily and gave your girlfriend a quick peck. “Thank you. There’s no need to call in anyone in this situation. Yet,” you added as a later thought, noticing how Scarlett got serious again. “I promise I will tell you it keeps happening. If he sends me something else, I will go to my boss about it as well. He might do something about it.” The man worked for a company that your boss was thinking about making some transactions, so that could actually work in your favor if he decides to give the dude a little scare. Your boss was an older man with four daughters and seven granddaughters. You were sure he would be even angrier than Scarlett if he ever heard about that story.

“Okay,” your girlfriend conceded. “I will let you handle that for now, but you come to me if you need any help. Deal?”

“Deal,” you agreed quickly with a little smile, happy to be given that trust to handle things for yourself first.

You loved it when Scarlett took over to solve your problems because you trusted her blindly to always make the best decisions and to get things done. Sometimes you got too overwhelmed by everything and it was nice to rely on someone else. This time, however, you were sure you could deal with things alone. You would get to your office the next day and send the guy a very straightforward email to let him know he shouldn’t be sending you any more gifts and that your conversations would remain only work related, and see how things go after that.

The best part of having someone like Scarlett was that you knew that, if things didn’t work out how you wanted them to, you could come to her at any time and she would jump right in to help you. You knew that she wouldn’t actually call her castmate to help scare some grow-up man - logistically, it would be hard to do it since Hemsworth was currently in his home back in Australia - but Scarlett was a very skilled woman herself. She would know no boundaries to protect you.

With that in mind, you placed your arms around her shoulders, letting your wrists meet behind her neck, and took a step forward to get closer to her. “My knight in shining armor,” you sang provocatively before giving her a kiss.

“Hm,” Scarlett moaned against your mouth, causing a content sigh to escape your lips and you both pulled away a few inches. “Maybe he needs to know that you’re taken,” she suggested.

“Oh, I am?” You tried to sound as innocent as possible, though you knew it just sounded like you were teasing her. You didn’t care. The mood had shifted and you now wanted to push your limits again.

“Yes.’ Scarlett’s voice was firm, but it was the way that her hands gripped your hips to pull you against her that made you gasp. “Haven’t you noticed it yet? That you’re mine.” She was smiling now, her green eyes going darker by the second, and you suddenly felt like you were a few seconds away from dying right then and there. “All mine,” Scarlett whispered with a hoarse tone and your knees lost some of their strength.

“I know.” You eagerly nodded because, yes, you knew that. You made yourself hers.

Scarlett smiled even brighter and she leaned over to hide her face in the crook of your neck. You felt her lips brushing against your skin, although she didn’t touch you. “Do you really? Maybe a reminder would do some good.” Finally, an open-mouthed kiss was pressed against your pulse point and you felt goosebumps going up and down your spine. “Maybe a little mark so everyone knows you belong to someone else.”

“Scarlett,” you moaned both at her words and the sensation of her tongue darting out to lick a path on your skin.

“Yes, darling?” Scarlett sounded amused, which almost made you roll your eyes at her.

“If you don’t take me to your room right now to keep up your word, I will be sending your flowers back from now on,” you threatened and, even if you both knew it was a blatant lie, it did the trick.

“Hm, we can’t let that happen,” Scarlett joked before she pulled away to look at you again.

The next day, you came back from a meeting and saw a life-sized bouquet on top of your desk with a small card written in Scarlett’s beautiful cursive letter.

“To my beautiful girlfriend,

You own my love

and I promise to protect your heart.

SJ”

You decided to forego the email idea. No, you would do something even better. You would call the stupid man to your office so he could see for himself that he was nothing compared to your girlfriend.

And, if you had three new hickeys in your neck that he might see, well, that was just a consequence.

#scarlett johansson #scarlett johansson x you #scarlett johansson x reader #celebrity x reader #marvel #black widow #natasha romanoff #fanfic #creative writing #my writing #drabble #fluff #slightly spicy

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getluckylana · 15 days

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I first found out about you through a long-format interview a few months ago and knew after watching it that you would likely be on the autism spectrum. I am glad you received the proper diagnosis. I'd highly recommend watching the talk by Tony Attwood titled: "Aspergers in Girls (Asperger Syndrome)" on YouTube. I used to smoke a joint and watch it in the tub, crying with relief because I felt so understood. Besides sensory issues, what other symptoms do you relate to with regard to autism?

I always thought autism just meant you were awkward and didn’t understand social cues. I never thought that I could possibly have it because I never viewed myself as awkward in my adult life. My whole life people have always made the comment “you are so quiet”. I just brushed it off as being shy and every friend group I had growing up was based off the fact that I was pretty so the other pretty girls in school invited me into their friend group but I was never anyone’s best friend I was just part of the group.

I thought hating fiction books, only wanting to watch documentaries, not being able to tolerate the texture of chicken/fish/meat, and having an unusually high pain tolerance/not realizing when I would be hurt was just part of my personality or preferences.

For the brief bit of high school I attended I had no friends. I remember walking outside and this boy screamed from the classroom “she’s really hot!” And then another boy said “yeah, but she’s really weird” people kept calling me weird, and I didn’t understand why, other girls made fun of the way I would stand, and I didn’t understand why! There was this really popular girl who was so pretty, and my crush liked her. So I just kind of started pretending that I was her, dressing like her, using her mannerisms, and acting like her and people seemed to like me better. I had no idea this was masking!

As a teen I thought that I had really bad social anxiety, it was extremely bad, I would stutter when I would speak. Even for example ordering something from a counter at a grocery store I would start sweating and stuttering. I just dealt with it.

Going into sex work, people finally seemed to like me and accept me so my social anxiety disappeared. I still always faced the “your so quiet” comments at work events but people still booked me so I was like whatever it works.

My ex always used to complain that I was too introverted. I remember going to dinner with my ex and few other people and I had studied before hand conversations and topics the other people were into, and I was really proud of myself after because I thought that I came off really charismatic at the dinner. This is also masking.

I never even considered any of this to be autism, because I have floated by relatively easily when it comes to socializing due to my looks and having millions of followers. There’s no lack of people wanting to be my friend! So that’s not something that I struggle with as an autistic person.

The biggest hall mark for me isn’t being awkward or not understanding cues it’s having a lack of desire to have relationship’s in general or socialize. I could spend a year in my house alone before I even think “hey I want to go see ny friend or socialize” I’ve done this before and career and goals always comes before human connection in my priorities. I hate this about myself, along with the borderline asexuality I experience.

Other things I struggle with that are symptoms of autism:

1) not feeling how I think I’m supposed to feel in major life events or about certain people. This makes me so sad sometimes.

2) hygiene and all other forms of executive function

3) I can’t put myself in other peoples shoes if it’s not something I personally have experienced. I definitely have a lack of empathy for men because I see them as so different from myself!

And I’m sure there’s more that I can’t think of right now!

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kieren-fucking-walker · 6 months

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Hey folks!

A few people asked if I was okay after my other post so I thought I'd give a general update as to Life Things (tm).

My mum finally left my dad, nys sister got married and he wasn't invited to the wedding and the way he acted was enough to make her leave. My youngest sister (still an adult) was left alone with my dad in the house and I had to talk her through packing a bag and leaving without him noticing. They both left pretty much everything behind and we don't know if they'll be able to get it back. They're at my grandparents now which is further away from both of their workplaces and a very temporary solution, but safe at least. My youngest sister is disabled and she needs support nobody can really give her at the moment, but she's safe.

I lost Juniper (one of my cats) a few weeks back. It was old age, but I wasn't able to be with her and it still doesn't quite feel real. I miss her so much, and I feel very bad about not being able to be with her (a very good friend was though, she was loved and wasn't alone thank god.) Sage is looking for her sometimes but seems to have some understanding of what's happened since he saw her briefly afterwards, she's buried in my best friends garden having a new adventure.

My landlord put my rent up by £100, but hasn't fixed a lot of the things wrong with the flat. The cost of heating this place is ridiculously high, so I'm trying to put the heating on as little as possible even though it's dropping into the minus degrees. Apparently they're set to go up even more in the new year because this country wants to kill us I guess.

My disabilities are all flaring up at once, I've had to take unpaid leave from work, I've not been able to afford the physio sessions that stave off the joint issues, or the food that helps keep my protein levels up because it is expensive and I need to eat something at least. I'm very very lucky that we have the NHS and all of my medications now qualify so at least I get those.

It's coming up to Christmas, I don't know what it's going to be like this year. My family is scattered and all in precarious situations, none of us have much to spare and most of us don't have a permanent home or more than a suitcase of stuff. I need to get Sage his vaccinations, and I feel terrible about leaving him alone in the cattery over Christmas.

That is to say that life is a lot. It's good things, but unstable. My dad is harassing us all, but we aren't stuck with him. I can't afford to keep my disabilities at bay, but my family is safer even if they need more support. Mentally at least I'm okay, I think.

If you'd like to help out, my PayPal is here and my Ko-Fi is here. If you can't or just don't want to this is not for you, god knows we're all going through hard times at the moment and the world is going to shit, but if you do and you're able it will be much appreciated by me and my family.

Finally here is a picture of my beautiful Juniper. Rest in peace my darling.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, and thank you for reading 💜

#life blogging #update #if nothing else look at my beautiful kitty #i miss her #give your pets a kiss from me #disability #family shit

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strniohoeee · 7 months

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Racketeer Pt. 3

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hates Chris hoodrat lifestyle, but when something goes wrong she’s ready to protect her man👥 Okay this is part 3 of a series I just made for shits and giggles for my best friend, but the fact that so many people like it is shocking and also amazing!!! Love this for us, I’m a hoe for hoodrat Chris even though I’m a Matt girl🧎🏽‍♀️

Warnings⚠️: uhh d*ath threats, Chris with a pewpew, pistol whipping, and uhhh I think that’s all…hope you enjoy 🖤

Song for the imagine: 308-22Gz (this is pure hoodrat NY trap music I LOVE IT)

When we spin through, it’s a D-O-A

We caught a opp at like 3:08

Fuck it and fuck up a B-O-A

Flashback

“Chris I’m not fucking holding your gun, so I’m definitely not fucking shooting it” I told Chris as he had his pistol on the kitchen table

“Baby why not? We literally got targets on our back because of who I am. I want my lady to be able to handle her own if I’m not there” he said in a matter of fact way

“Yeah a target on our back because of the life YOU chose to run with….plus I will always have you, so no” I said drinking my water

“What if I’m in a headlock, the pistols on the ground, and any one of his goons could come and pop me, and then pop you” he said raising his eyebrows

“Well then the lord better be on our side cause I ain’t picking up your gun” I said shrugging my shoulders

He picks up his gun and points it at me

“CHRISTOPHER HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND” I said flinching

“BANG BANG BANG, you’re dead” and then he turns the gun on himself “BANG BANG BANG, I’m dead” he said laughing

“Put the fucking gun down now” I said getting upset with him

“Baby the clips empty, and I took the bullet out” he said showing me the gun

“Give me the fucking gun, and show me how to use it” I said getting annoyed

“YES IM TEACHING MY BABYYY, I’m gonna have my own personal shooter” he said getting excited

Flashback over

Tonight Chris’s friends were having a party after one of the guys got released from prison. They rented out a whole club for this kid

“I don’t want to go” I said to Chris dragging my feet

“Come on, why not it’s a nice area. The club is only open for us, and you know ima protect you” he said getting dressed

I was already ready, but I just didn’t want to go anymore. I felt like this was our whole life…. parties, fast cars and thugs….but I digress

“Fine I’ll fucking go” I said getting my outfit picked out. It was cold in Boston, so I decided on a long sleeve fitted black shirt, medium wash baggy boyfriend jeans, and my black Air Force 1s (shawty on demon time). I flat ironed my hair, and put on my black north face puffer jacket

“The black air forces?? Whose head are you stompin on tonight?” Chris asked laughing

“Anybody who fucks with you” I said putting my perfume on

“Blue jeans or black” he asked me

“Black” I said back

Chris came out in an all black shirt, with black jeans, his timberland boots on, and his black puffer coat

“Alright baby Boston Red Sox black and white hat, or Yankees” he asked

“Boston….HELLOOO” I said laughing at him

“Duhhh how could I be so stupid” he said making a dumb face

We had driven to the location of the club, and it was indeed a nice area, but it was known for gangs so there were some dodgy people out.

“Don’t leave my side at all” Chris said helping me out the passenger side, and shutting the door behind me

“Never baby” I said, and he locked the car

We walked to the club, and immediately I recognized everybody there. I even seen some of my girl friends who were either dating or messing around with one of these guys

The whole night we had such a blast, laughing, talking, drinking and dancing. Although these people had some crazy shit under their belt, they were actually super nice and respectful people.

“Yoo there’s some kids out there, talking about Drew’s gang or whatever” one of Chris friends came up and said to all of us

“That little fucking kid with the tattoos on his face?” Chris asked

“Yeah, he’s getting mad staticy outside, and wallin out. The security guards about to lay his ass out” he said

“Tell that fucking kid that I’m going to be dealing with his soon” Chris said taking a sip of his drink

“Ai, he’s alone so he ain’t gonna try some shit” he said to Chris

“Even if he does…I’m strapped tonight” Chri said lifting his shirt up exposing the pistol in his waistband

His friend nodded at him, and went to head back out to relay the message to the other guy.

“Baby….for once not tonight” I said looking at Chris

“I’m not gonna do anything, but if people start talking crazy” he said raising his hands up

“No Chris! You have to stop this” I told him taking a sip of my drink

“What?? I’ll bust him in his medulla….nobody will fuck wit me after that” Chris said laughing

I just shook my head and laughed at him

At this point it was about 2AM, and we all started to head out. We walked outside, and Chris was saying bye to the security guard and some of his friends

I was waiting for Chris to finish chatting with his security guard, when I saw someone in the corner of my eye. For once can someone not try Chris and I

“Yoo this your man?” The kid said coming up to me and pointing at Chris

I just ignored him, me being from New York…you never ever turn your head when someone’s coming up from behind you to ask you, or tell you something. That’s a death wish.

“You deaf ma?” I heard him say again

“Yo get the fuck outta here” I heard Chris say from behind me

“Yo get the fuck outta here Chris, Drew’s people got something for your ass, and it’s gonna start with your lady here” he said nodding his head at me

“Did you just threaten my woman” I heard Chris say, and he started to walk towards him, so I turned around to watch this glancing at the security guard to keep an eye out

“Don’t shoot the messenger…..you keep fucking wit our guys…they gonna come for you” he said

“I’ll shoot you, and the motherfucka who sent you” Chris said getting closer to the guy

“Babe stop” I said trying to keep Chris calm

“Yeah listen to your lady…wouldn’t want her with a hole between her eyes now would we?” He asked smuggly

All of a sudden I just see Chris swing at the guy, his right fist connecting with his cheek

“DONT YOU EVER FUCKING SAY SOME SHIT ABOUT KILLING MY GIRL. ILL FUCKING KILL YOUR WHOLE LIFELINE BITCH” Chris screamed at him and they started to throw punches

“CHRIS PLEASE STOP, THIS HAS TO FUCKING STOP PLEASE” I said begging, but not wanting to get in between them because I was not about to get cracked in the jaw

I'm not sure what happened but they started to struggle with each other, and were just scuffling. I had a feeling the guy felt Chris’s gun, and was trying to grab it

“FUCK YOU” Chris started to scream and started throwing punches at the guys ribs, as he had Chris in a headlock

All of a sudden his pistol fell out, and at the same time the guy got Chris on his back on the ground, and they were throwing punches.

The pistol slid pretty far, and I was contemplating on if I wanted to pick it up or not…..Fuck it…this is my man, and I will fucking do anything to protect him

I picked up the pistol, and cocked it back

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY MAN, OR I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF” I yelled at the guy, both of them turning to look at me

“You’re a little bitch, you ain��t pulling no fucking trigger fuck outta here” he said still struggling with Chris

I don’t know what came over me, but I moved the gun from pointed at his head to pointed just behind it, and then I pulled the trigger

The bullet flew right past his head, and it was so fucking loud, everybody froze including me

“THE FUCK” the guy yelled, and while he was looking at me Chris used this to punch him on the jaw knocking him backwards

Chris got up, and came over to me, and grabbed the pistol out of my hands

He walked over to the guy, standing over him and grabbed him by his shirt

All of a sudden Chris pistol whipped the guy, and I gasped covering my mouth

“If you ever come around me and my people, and my FUCKING woman again talking out your neck I’m going to come for your whole fucking blood line, got it” he said as he held the pistol under the kids chin

“Yeah yeah” the guy said out of it

“NO FUCKING YEAH YEAH, YOU GET IT OR YOU DONT WE WOULDNT WANT TO SEND YOU BACK TO DREW WHTH A BULLET BETWEEN YOUR BROWS NOW WOULD WE” Chris said laying the gun in between the guys brows

“No no….I promise you’re all good. I’ll never fucking look at yall ever again” he said in fear

“Yeah you better not, and if we ever cross paths again…you better cross to the other side of the street. Cause you just earned a target on your back, and when I’m ready to pop you and your people I'm coming for yous ….cause all my opps is targets, see the red dot no target got it bitch” he said throwing the guy down onto the ground

Chris looked at his security and nodded for him to get rid of the kid, and keep everything on hush. He tucked the pistol into his waistband and grabbed my hand

“Lets go ma” he said walking with me

We got into the car, and I was still so shocked by everything

“Look at you….almost boomed the kids face off for me” he said smirking

“I don’t know what took over me, but I knew I wanted to hurt him to protect you” I said to Chris

“That’s exactly how I feel everytime someone fucks with you” he said leaning in and kissing me

“You’re not going to go after him right?” I asked

“No, but it creates enough fear in his heart that he won’t even fuck with us ever again” he said putting the car in drive, and grabbing my hand to interlock it

“Chris we have to stop this lifestyle” I told him

“And we will baby, I promise you” he said kissing my hand as he drove off

The End

Alright this was part 3, and I may or may not write a part 4 depending on the feedback, but this one was my favorite one to write 💋💋

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #christopher sturniolo #Spotify

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austonwithan-o · 1 year

Text

Summer Job- Trevor Zegras x Reader

After a certain boy walks into your hair salon. How could you say no to him asking you on a date? I mean customer satisfaction right?

——————————————————————————

No warnings!

You had just recently moved to Bedford, NY to live with your grandparents. They offered for you to live with them during the summers when it was too expensive for you to fly back to Portland where your parents lived. Attending NYU completely on scholarship you didn’t have time for a job during the school year. You did cut hair on the side for some of your friends and they paid you some which covered some weekend excursions but nothing too crazy. Little did you know that side hustle would lead to you meeting the love of your life.

Sitting in your bed you scrolled through job listings, a lot of grocery stores, gas stations, target, fast food places were hiring but nothing really caught your eye. Annoyed you closed your laptop letting out a groan.

“I refuse to work at McDonald’s mom. I’m not coming home smelling like fries and grease and it’s a whole 40 minute drive from here! There’s literally nothing interesting here.” You were annoyed with the sparse selection of employment available and despite your obvious disappointment your mom let out a laugh much to your dismay.

“Honey I know you don’t wanna come home smelling like a fast food place but you’re gonna have to choose something. Plus it’s just for the summer! Just like what, 2 months? You can survive 2 months y/n or here maybe ask grandma and grandpa if they have any friends who have businesses. They know a lot of people around there.” Her voice rang through the speaker phone on your nightstand, it wasn’t a horrible idea, your grandparents did have a great reputation in the town and a lot of friends.

“Hmm you’re not wrong?” You said picking up your phone, “I’m gonna go talk to them it’s dinner time anyways.”

“Alright sweetie I love you! Have a goodnight and keep me updated on the job hunt.”

“Will do momma! Love you too!” Hanging up and making your way downstairs the smell of your grandmas food was heavenly. You loved it here.

“Oh perfect! I was just about to call you down!”

Your grandpa said pulling a chair out for you to sit. You smiled and thanked him as he pushed it in.

“So grandpa I was on the phone with mom, looking for jobs with her and I was wondering if you knew anyone who would be willing to hire me for the summer? I mean there’s fast food and restaurants and stuff but I just thought maybe you’d have more, I guess, connections around here?” Taking a bite of the chicken on your plate. There was a few seconds of silence before your grandma spoke.

��You know I actually do know someone who’s hiring but are you good with hair? My friend Carla has a hair studio 10 minutes into town and she’s looking for another employee.”

Bingo.

“I can cut hair! I have a little side hustle at school cutting hair for like $10. I mean I’m not professional but I’m definitely not bad at it. I can also style and dye hair too!” This was the perfect job you thought plus the tips would be great!

“Her name is Carla! I’m going in tomorrow to get my hair trimmed. I’ll introduce you to her, she’s such a sweet lady!” Your grandma said, “We will leave around 11? My appointment is at 11:15 and I like getting there a bit early.”

You agreed. After dinner you spent a few hours playing cards and chatting with your grandparents eventually heading up to your room.

You woke up around 10:30am a little tired from staying up watching hair tutorials refreshing your memory on how to cut hair but you didn’t need much reminding.

You showered, got dressed and ran downstairs grabbing the keys to your old Jeep.

“Grandma I’ll drive!” You exclaimed rushing out the door.

“Alrighty I’ll be there in a second.”

The drive was peaceful. Driving through the colorful country you couldn’t help but admire how nice and green everything around you was. Your thoughts were interrupted by your grandma.

“I don’t know if you watch hockey at all but Carla has a little bit of a celebrity customer you know.” She smiled, “I’ve met him before his name is Trevor Zegras. He’s a hockey player. I’m not sure which team but he’s a cutie. Maybe you’ll get to cut his hair.” She shot you a wink making you roll your eyes.

“Ah yes grandma I definitely need a hot hockey player boyfriend to distract me all summer.”

“He’s a very charming young man! I bet you two would hit it off!” You laughed at her statement. A relationship was definitely the last thing on your mind for the summer. Making friends? That would be fun but definitely no boyfriend.

“Grandma you know I don’t need a boyfriend. I mean especially since I would just be leaving to school in a few months.”

“You never know y/n! People come into your life for different reasons.”

You smiled at her words but it was true. You didn’t want a summer fling. It wasn’t your style. If you were gonna date someone it was going to be serious and having a hockey boyfriend was definitely not on your list of things you needed.

You arrived at the hair salon. The sign displayed on top read, “Bedford Village Hair Design” it was a cute little shop. You could see a few workers at their stations and a few customers in the chairs. You both walked in hearing the chime of the bells, “Alice! Good to see you! You’re a bit early but I’ll just get you started over here-“ the woman who you assumed to be Carla gave you a wide smile.

“And who might you be?” She asked pulling you into a hug.

“Carla this is my granddaughter y/n! She’s staying with me for the summer and I brought her here to introduce her to you! She’s looking for a summer job and I think she would be perfect for your salon!” She said as she sat down in the seat, you followed close behind the two, standing beside Carla.

“Well I definitely wouldn’t be apposed! Can you cut men’s hair? I have more and more male clients coming in and I need more help around here!” Carla spoke trimming away at your grandmas hair. She was definitely not new to this.

“Yes! I cut my guy friends hair all the time in school. It’s like a little side hustle so I can make some money during the year.” You explained.

“You know what that sounds great! If you want just swing by tomorrow let’s say around 9:30am and you can start if that’s okay with you? I have someone coming in at 9:45am who you can do. He’s very sweet.”

“That sounds awesome! Thank you so much!”

You waited in the corner for your grandma to be done her hair which took about 20 more minutes and with that you both left after.

The next morning you woke up throwing on a flowy floral dress trying to match the vibe of everyone’s outfits yesterday. You wanted to make a good first impression so you took your time with your hair and makeup. Rushing out the door it was 9:15 by the time you left luckily there’s never any traffic in the small town.

Walking inside the small business you were greeted by Carla and another worker Gracie. She was around Carla’s age and very very sweet as well.

“Hi you must be y/n!” She greeted you giving you a hug.

“Yes! It’s good to meet you?”

“Gracie! My name is Gracie! Well I’ll give you the heads up since you’re new I’m gonna let you take my regular client at 9:45 today. His name is Trevor! He’s very nice so don’t be intimidated and he will let you know how he wants his cut.” She said handing you an apron.

For some reason your heart dropped a bit but you didn’t know why. You hadn’t even met the guy let alone seen his face and already freaking out.

“Are you sure? I mean I can take someone else if you want-“

“Lovely don’t be silly! I insist don’t worry he won’t bite you! I’ll still be here I’ll just be organizing in the back and Carla will be in the front or back with me.” She said and with that the sound of the door opening and the bells jingling made you freeze in your place.

“Carla! Gracie! And new girl?” You shyly turned around to face him. His smiled was so bright and his eyes were so pretty. He walked over and gave Carla a hug all while scanning you up and down. He pulled away eventually giving you a firm handshake. His touch sending sparks up your arm, making butterflies form in your stomach.

Oh my God he was gorgeous.

“Trevor this is y/n! Y/n this is Trevor! She’s gonna be cutting your hair today Trevor.” Gracie said grabbing his hand. His eyes hadn’t left yours and you could sense the nervous energy radiating off of his tall figure. He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair which fell perfectly back into place framing his chiseled features.

“Oh cool! I’ll get a buzzcut this time.” The two older women let out exaggerated gasps slapping his shoulder making him laugh.

“Hey I’m kidding! You know I’d never do that Carla.” You couldn’t help but laugh as well at their reaction. You were already loving this job and you’d been there for about 10 mins.

“Trevor the day you get a buzzcut is the day I officially quit my job.” She handed you a barbers gown and he followed your lead by sitting down in the chair letting you throw it over him securing it in the back. Your hands were shaking and he could feel it as you tied the back lightly brushing the back of his neck.

“Alright y/n let me know when you’re done, I’m going to help Gracie in the back. Trevor no buzzcuts.” She gave him another light slap on the shoulder and he shot her a wink. The two ladies walked off exchanged glances at the two of you.

“You can lean back and I’ll wash your hair first.” He followed your directions placing his head in the neck rest.

“I’ve been coming here for a long time and I’ve never seen you here or around here for that matter. Where you from?” Trevor asked looking at you. You refused to make eye contact with him because you knew you’d fold under his eye contact.

“I’m from Portland but I live here in the summer times and I go to school at NYU.” You explained as you massaged his scalp with the shampoo.

“Oh that’s sick! Yeah I live here during the summers but I’m in Cali most of the year.” He was very obviously enjoying you running your hands through his hair and you couldn’t deny. You did as well.

“My grandma comes here a lot. She said you play hockey huh? I didn’t know there were hockey teams in California.” You admitted almost feeling a bit stupid letting those words leave your mouth. Trevor grinning at your remark.

“It’s a weird place for ice hockey that’s for sure but yeah the Anaheim Ducks. I’m guessing you don’t watch hockey?”

“Not at all. I’m not huge into sports but I played volleyball in high school.” You rinsed his hair off then wrapped his hair up in a towel and motioned for him to move to the hair cutting seat. His height shocked you a bit more when he stood up letting you really observe him. You caught the smell of his cologne as he walked by sitting down in the chair. You couldn’t get enough of him but you were fighting the feelings.

“I’ll have to get you to watch a few games. It’s important if we’re friends you watch hockey or at least know how the game works.” He stated looking at you through the mirror making it harder to concentrate with his gaze.

“Also, keep the shape but just make it a bit shorter. It’s kind of hard to see now.” Trevor grabbed a front strand of his hair pulling it down his face to see how long it was.

“Oh so we’re friends now?” Teasing him a bit. You snipped away at his hair following his request. You couldn’t help but notice all the tattoos on his arms as well letting your eyes scan his features more.

“I mean I’m trusting you with my hair so of course we’re friends but let’s say I ask you out on a date. Would that make or break the friendship.” The question caught you off guard.

Y/n you just said you weren’t gonna date anyone. Tell him no.

“I mean I don’t see how a date could hurt the friendship. I’m free anytime past 4 when the salon closes.” You couldn’t believe you just said that. It was like you had no control.

“Perfect I’ll pick you up at 4 tonight. What you’re wearing is perfect.” You blushed at his comment. Finishing up his hair and blow drying it. He stood up and you shook the barber cape off. You did a pretty good job you couldn’t lie.

“You know I might have you cut my hair from now on beautiful.” He turned around to face you.

“I mean I charge more so if you’re fine with that I’m fine with that.” Joking obviously you walked over to the wall grabbing a broom to sweep up all the hair you cut off.

“Worth every penny. I’ll pick you up at 4 from here. Leave your car here and we’ll just take mine.” Carla came back to the front soon after.

“Yay no buzzcut! You did really well Y/n.” Carla gave you an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

Trevor made his way up to the front with Carla to pay while you cleaned up the hair on the floor.

“I’ll see you tonight y/n.” Winking at you he left the salon.

“I’m guessing you two hit it off huh?” Carla smirked.

“I mean I wouldn’t deny it.” You blushed at her comment making her laugh.

“He’s a great kid y/n. I wouldn’t let him near you if he wasn’t.” Carla smoothed out her apron retreating to the back again.

This was gonna be a very interesting summer and an even more interesting school year.

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Tbh idk how I feel about this one but oh well

#hockey #hockey players #nhl fanfiction #nhl #nhl fic #nhl hockey #nhl players #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x y/n #trevor zegras x reader #anaheim ducks #trevor zegras fluff #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras imagine #nhl imagine #instagram imagine #hockey imagine #nhl insta edit

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hard-core-super-star · 8 months

Note

Tmz vacation pictures. My bad.

the sweetest torture one could bear [H.Steinfeld]

full request: Hi, I have part of a request. Aha, I didn't know what else to put with it, so do with that what you will. Instead of JA being in the videos and photos with Hailee, it's Reader.

pairing: hailee steinfeld x reader

summary: when you and hailee are flown out on vacation to promote your growing 'relationship', you find out there's more than meets the eye when it comes to the actress...and your feelings for her.

warnings: enemies-to-lovers type vibe with a semi-happy ending; PR relationship + stunts; like two JA mentions; R being a jerk to hailee and vice versa; so many petty arguments and hidden feelings; R is technically also famous but it never gets expanded upon whoops; 110% got carried away because of lacy by olivia rodrigo

wordcount: 2.5k

a/n: i know you said you didn't have anything in mind, lovely anon, but i think i took your idea and RAN with it. i just needed someplace to put all the emotions hailee's been bringing out of me lately with the stupid JA situation so i can continue to write fics for her. that's why the NY stunt is still a thing that happens in this fic. hope you enjoy despite how scathing some of my comments can be in this <3

* * * * * * *

Dating a famous celebrity is supposed to be fun. At least that’s what you imagine things would be like if you were dating anyone but Hailee freaking Steinfeld.

Although, to be fair, the word dating technically doesn’t apply to your situation.

Even calling it a PR relationship is incredibly generous. You’re pretty much just damage control after whatever mess happened in New York with her and that quarterback.

Of course, it was a mess she created and once it blew up in her face she was forced to retreat and avoid looking like a bigger asshole…which is where you come in. You don’t know how or why but somehow you got roped into things and now you’re being forced to help the brunette clean up her image.

Maybe forced is being dramatic but your team didn’t even let you attempt to talk them out of the idea and instead shoved you onto a private plane headed to Mexico City for a Fourth of July mini-vacation with the one and only Hailee Steinfeld.

Also known as the one person you’d never willingly go out with. Much less on a mini-vacation that only has one goal: get as many paparazzi as possible to take pictures of the two of you so speculation will run wild and distract Hailee’s fans from the New York stunt.

You have no doubt the plan will work which just pisses you off even more.

You’re not new to this life of hiding or the lies it comes with but there’s something about the way the brunette handles things that just rubs you the wrong way. She straddles the border between genuine and fake so often that you’re sure she doesn’t even know who she is most days.

Hence her constant disappearances from the public eye nowadays. Disappearances that just make her stunts with the quarterback even more confusing.

You’re not here to figure the actress out though, you just have to fake a few smiles, hold her hand, and pretend you actually like each other. The media and her fans will do the rest.

Whether the result of your stunt ends with people speculating you're in a relationship or just a public denunciation of her connection to said quarterback is ultimately up to her team so all you two really have to do is pretend.

Something that would be easy…if your distaste for each other wasn’t so obvious.

“Did your lovely team forget the part where we’re not actually a couple?” You question the second you arrive at your hotel room, only to find a single king-sized bed in the middle of the room.

“Why do you assume it was my team that messed up?” She fires back, eyebrow raised in defiance.

You roll your eyes as you finish wheeling your suitcase inside. You don’t even bother to argue about who gets the bed and instead put your things down on the couch set up in the corner of the room. After all, you’re still a gentleman. “Because this whole thing was their idea.”

“They actually know how to do their job, unlike some people.” Her verbal jab isn’t lost on you and it quickly silences the small voice in your head that was urging you to try and get along with her.

“And what’s my job? Pretending you’re the center of the universe?”

“It’d be a nice start.”

“Too bad I’m not the academy-award nominated actress here.” Out of anyone else’s mouth, it would be a compliment but you both know that’s not the way you meant those words.

Hailee doesn’t say anything in response. She just glares at you as if that’ll make you disappear.

Unfortunately, it doesn't, which means you’re still stuck in this same situation with the same pair of eyes that wish they could send you six feet underground…or, at the very least, six rooms away from her.

That glare is more than enough to draw the conversation to a close for the moment. The awkward silence that sticks around instead is just as bad though and you’re actually glad when Hailee’s phone goes off.

You watch, with a slightly amused smile, as the actress argues with one of the many poor souls from her PR team.

She’s clearly not as amused as you are considering the string of curse words that reverberate around the small room. You pick up enough information to know there’s already a plan and a schedule for the pap shots so the two of you have to be on top of your game sooner rather than later.

There’s a split second during the phone call where your eyes meet hers and everything else seems to fade away for those few moments.

There’s no badly suppressed annoyance in her eyes, no vacant look that represents the hundreds of walls she’s put up to keep you locked out of her mind and heart. For the briefest of seconds, she seems…real. It’s as if the mask she so easily wears to hide who she is slips and leaves behind the uncertainty she seems to detest so much.

Ironically, that uncertainty would make her a lot more bearable in your opinion.

The moment ends as quickly as it started and in no time at all, you’re back to being passive-aggressive while pretending to like each other.

“So, what’s the plan here?” You hate how much you care about not further ruining her life by messing up the pap shots. “Last time I checked, you weren’t out of your glass closet yet.”

“Are you saying you check up on me often?” She replies as she gets into the private pool next to you.

For some reason, her team had decided the two of you should kick things off with some pool pictures before going out to dinner tomorrow night. It’s a pretty ridiculous idea but nothing screams summer romance like paparazzi pictures at the pool and/or the beach.

“Yeah, it’s like watching a trainwreck. I can’t look away no matter how hard I try.”

“Funny.”

She sits across from you and you do all you can to stop your eyes from wandering across her face. It’s impossible to deny how attractive she is, no matter how long her list of contradicting personality traits is.

You assume she’s forgotten about your question until she speaks up a few moments later. “There’s no real plan. We don’t have to actually kiss for people to think there’s something going on.”

“What a relief.”

The brunette rolls her eyes at you but no snarky comeback escapes her lips. It might be too insignificant to call it progress but at least you’re having a conversation that doesn’t turn into an argument.

Nothing significant happens after that besides Hailee spotting the paparazzi and both of you pulling the most authentic smiles you can muster onto your faces. Turns out, the fake smiling is the easy part, finding something to talk about is the hard part.

You let her talk up and down about Hawkeye and Across the Spiderverse until you’re finally able to go back to hiding inside the hotel room.

It pains you to admit it but she’s not half bad when she’s talking about her projects. Being alone certainly helps ease some of her anxieties and you’re sure her people-pleasing tendencies have disappeared around you. (You’re not sure if that’s a compliment or not...not that you care either way.)

You push away your slightly conflicting, and borderline confusing, feelings as you make your way back into your room.

And maybe your eyes wander down to her abs a few times and maybe you catch her looking your way once or twice but that doesn’t matter. Sharing one moment with her where she feels like an actual person instead of a walking brand deal isn’t going to change your mind about her.

You make it back into the room and a few peaceful minutes go by until Hailee’s phone goes off once again, her face twisting from annoyance to shock to genuine dread in the span of five seconds. You can’t explain why but something inside you urges you to step out onto the balcony and leave her alone.

So you do just that.

Contrary to the way you act when you’re around her, you do sort of care for her in ways you’d rather not think about. It’s just hard to show that side of yourself when she does everything in her power to get under your skin. It might not be on purpose but that doesn’t make it any less grating.

You rise to your feet and grab the towels you had left hanging on the back of a chair. You don’t say a word as you slide the balcony door open but you swear you hear her mumble out a thank you before you slip outside.

Maybe things between you two aren’t so hopeless after all.

It might be wishful thinking but things are surprisingly calm for the next few hours. It's not until you’re getting ready to fall asleep and forget everything that’s happened today that she speaks to you again.

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch, y’know? The bed is big enough for both of us.”

You turn to look at her, doing a terrible job of hiding the surprised look on your face. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, y/n.” She shrugs as if sharing a bed with her isn’t a big deal. “Just don’t snore or I’ll kick you to the ground.”

“Yes, ma’am,” you reply sarcastically.

A tense silence fills the room after that and neither of you makes any attempts to break it. Hailee busies herself with double-checking that everything is locked while you climb into bed, turning onto your side and attempting to put as much space as possible between the two sides of the bed.

She turns the lights off, leaving you in the darkness with a rapidly beating heart. You’re not sure why you’re nervous but you have a feeling falling asleep is going to be almost impossible tonight.

You lay there for what feels like hours, doing your best not to think about how close your bodies are right now. You saw her in a bikini earlier today, why are you freaking out over sharing the same bed?

You’re in the middle of mentally arguing with yourself when you hear Hailee let out a series of deep breaths. Anxiety isn’t a stranger to you and you suddenly worry something might have triggered a panic attack.

“You okay?” You speak up despite yourself. “Did you finally realize you fucked over your queer fans with the QB stuff?”

You can’t help but poke the bear even when you’re supposed to be checking up on her.

She doesn’t respond and a few seconds later, you hear her sniffle, the guilt immediately hitting you like a runaway train. “Hailee? I’m sorry, I shouldn't have said that.”

“Republic dropped me.” Her voice is barely audible but there’s no denying the pain it carries.

The urge to turn around and look at her is far too strong for you to ignore so you take a deep breath before giving in. You turn onto your other side so you’re facing her, not wanting to ruin her moment of vulnerability by appearing uninterested.

Her eyes are trained on the ceiling above her but you can make out the glimmer of unshed tears in the warm pool of her eyes. She doesn’t give you a chance to speak up, she just continues as if you’re not looking at her with real empathy in your gaze for the first time since you met.

“I should’ve seen it coming, you know? With all the hesitation and the drawn-out meetings. Coast was supposed to be my chance to prove myself and it did nothing. I hoped rushing SunKissing would fix things but it just made everything worse.”

“And then New York happened,” you mumble.

“Yeah-” Her voice breaks and you hate the way your heart aches for her. “I should’ve just owned up to it but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to admit I was grasping at straws so when my team told me to bring you into this mess…I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Saying no would have been a good start.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles as she turns her head to the side, allowing your eyes to meet in the darkness. “You don’t deserve any of this.”

The sincerity in her words strikes you “Oh, come on, I’m no saint. I’ve been nothing but a pain in the ass since we got here.”

“You're right. You're awful.”

“Shut up, Steinfeld.”

She laughs.

An actual laugh that makes the corners of her glossy eyes crinkle up in a way that makes your heart skip a couple of beats. You’re sure you’ve never made her laugh like that in the time you’ve known each other.

And you hate the way you’re already obsessed with the sound.

“We don’t have to keep doing this,” she says suddenly before fully turning her body toward you. “It was a stupid idea anyway, it’s not going to change people’s minds.”

“Maybe you’re the one who has to change her mind.” You offer the only advice you can think of. “Pretending like everything’s okay isn’t doing you any favors, Lee.”

The nickname slips out of your mouth without a second thought. You don’t even realize you said it out loud until Hailee questions you about it. “Lee? Five hours ago you wanted me out of your life and now you’re giving me a nickname?”

“Five hours ago I wasn’t sure you even had feelings.”

Your comment would have surely earned you a glare earlier but now you get a smile instead. “Point taken.”

“I mean it, though. Stop doing what you think everyone else wants you to do and do what you want. You owe yourself that much.”

“The things I want will just make things worse,” she says, the smallest of frowns tugging at her lips.

“Maybe it’s worth it.”

You have no idea what her words truly mean until you catch her eyes drifting down to your lips.

Everything inside of you tells you to make a joke, or piss her off, or at the very least, turn around and pretend to go to sleep. Anything to stop both of you from making a huge mistake.

But then her hand reaches out to touch your waist and you find yourself leaning toward her without a second thought.

It’s stupid and reckless and the last thing you should add to this already messy situation and yet it’s the only thing you want to do. You don’t want to argue with her anymore, you just want her. Even if it’s only for the night.

“What are we doing?” You whisper, your lips barely inches away from hers.

“I don’t know…do you want me to stop?”

You meet her eyes and reach your decision. “No.”

It’s all the encouragement she needs to close the gap between you, her lips claiming yours in a surprisingly soft kiss. You tangle your hand in her hair to pull her closer as a thought suddenly dawns on you.

There’s no way to deny how attracted you are to her. No way to deny how drawn you are to her despite all the things that get under your skin about her.

No way to deny that you’re actually falling for Hailee Steinfeld.

Shit.

#hailee steinfeld x reader #hailee steinfeld x female reader #hailee steinfeld x you #hailee steinfeld x y/n #hailee steinfeld fic #hailee steinfeld imagine #hailee steinfeld fanfiction #hailee steinfeld #hawkeye #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel #wlw #wlw fic #writing

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sofasoap · 10 months

Text

Little Beard

Pairing: Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x F!Reader

Summary: After being apart from your wonderful boyfriend for six months, he comes back with a surprise.

Warning : M themed. Suggestive. hints of smut. Not beta'ed. Semi crack. A/N: I am sure all of us who loves Soap also love his wonderful beard from his OG days. At least I do.

Part 4 of Little Bear series Masterlist

“JOHN……ny???”

Two men turned around. If it wasn’t for the almost non-existing mohawk, you probably would have mistaken your boyfriend for Captain Price.

“Bonnie bear!!” Striding towards you before scoping you up into his arms into a bear hug. “You made it!”

“I wouldn’t miss it in the world… but.. What the hell is this??!!” you gaped, while caressing his full mutton chop.

Six months. It’s the longest time both of you have been apart since the start of the relationship. Oh how you missed him. There was minimal contact. The only reason you knew him and the team was still alive was through Laswell ( Only because Johnny begged her and she has a soft spot for the youngsters of the team ). You don’t know how you would have coped without her constant update and reassurances. While you are glad to have them safe back in your arm, you begin to wonder what has happened during the mission.

“You like it?” Nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, he whispered. “I thought something different, for a change.”

“Are you sure you boys haven’t been on the set of ‘Cast Away’ instead of a save-the-world mission??” You laughed as you felt the tickle of his beard on your neck. “Oh! You are growing a rat tail too..”

Glancing over his shoulder, you see Gaz sporting a not quite a full unkempt beard and equally messy curly hair, although you couldn’t see Simon’s face, a few strands of overgrown hair is peeking out from both eye holes and the back of his balaclava, and somehow Price has magically kept his mutton chop immaculate. You almost wonder if he has signed a secret pact with an unknown entity to keep his facial hair in tiptop shape and keep the boys alive during the missions.

Pulling away a little, he gives you a playful smacking kiss on the lip, “Falling head over heels for me again?”

You laughed as you lightly slapped his chest, you have to admit on more than one occasion you have imagined what it will be like for Johnny to have a full grown mutton chop, how it will feel when he goes down on….

“What are you thinking now little teddy bear? I can hear your brain churning.” Leaning back into you as he dropped into a whisper, “You having naughty thoughts?” Damn, he knows you too well.

“Don’t worry, once we get back to the accommodation.. I will make up for all the lost time by taking care of ya…” he smirked. He proceeded to yell towards the boys, “Hey, I think we will give tonight’s gathering a miss, I have important business to take care of.”

“You mean taking care of your girlfriend’s needs?” Simon perked up all of sudden.

“Oh my gosh Simon!!” You swear if someone put a kettle on top of your head now, you can boil the water in an instant. Of all people, you did not expect it from him. You seriously need to have a talk with Mini to reign her husband’s mouth.

“You know it! See you tomorrow instead!” Soap replied, unashamed about what his plan with you for the evening was to be, while waving goodbye to his teammates and half dragging you towards the car, eagerly. And sure enough, he proceed to you the best head in your life. As always. With his new mutton chop. Again, and again. the overgrown hair made it easy to grab onto too.

“.. Had a good time? UGH!”

“ Gaz. Behave. And you too SIMON. Don't you DARE open your mouth”

I am a firm believer Price has made a pact with the devil to keep his mutton chop immaculate at all time.

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

@kaplerrr

@homicidal-slvt

@floral-force @okayyadriana @deadbranch @cumikering @siilvan

@random-thot-generator

@random0lover @devcica @jynxmirage @nrdmssgs

#johnny soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish x fem reader #soap x reader #soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish imagine #johnny soap mactavish xf!reader #johnny soap mactavish x you #Little bear series #sofasoap writes #call of duty #johnny mactavish #john mactavish fluff #johnny soap mactavish x female!reader #johnny soap mactavish fluff #crack fic #ish

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honeydanny · 1 year

Text

i just watched avatar: the way of water today AND IM OBSESSED 😻😻 SO BE READY WITH ALL THE FICS REBLOG ABOUT THEM <33

#ny talks about something from her life #avatar: the way of water #avatar 2022 #IT'S SO GOOD WTFFF #I CRIED AT THE END LMAOO #I WOULD WATCH IT AGAIN 10000%#it's like top gun: maverick pt. 2 lol #be ready for the fics reblog because i just found a new obsession #jake sully #neytiri #neteyam #lo'ak #kiri #tuk

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its-all-or-nothing94 · 3 months

Text

Formual 1 / MotoGP Fusion - Part 7

Summary: You are the first female MotoGP rider ever. You race for KTM Factory Racing, leaving Jack Miller your teammate, and one of your main sponsors is Red Bull. You grew up with most of the riders but your best friend is the multiple MotoGP Champion Marc Marquez. After your horrific crash the year before, you are ready to start the new season and probably a new love?

Pre-Story - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

A/N: Sorry for the long break - here wo go agaiiiin!

Ship: Not telling yet (Marc Marquez, Carlos Sainz or Charles Leclerc)

Warnings: none

Taglist: @laneyspaulding19, @luciaexcorvus, @raizelchrysanderoctavius, @darlingssaturn

Y/NY/L/N22 ☑️ Nice, France

Liked by marcmarquez93, charles_leclerc and 1'536'428 others

Y/NY/L/N22 Got myself a new toy 😄 and yes, I'm talking about the bike.

View all 3'864 comments

marcmarquez93 😍😍 It's a beauty. Y/NY/L/N22 If you behave, I maybe let you ride it. 😉

charles_leclerc 😍

annie546 Did anyone notice, that she is in Nice? Only 30 minutes from Charles? 🤔

charles_lover Maybe they went on a tour together? I read that he owns a bike as well.

miasonda Did anyone notice, that she explicitly said that she meant the bike as a new toy? Like if we should mean something else? 😂😂

charles_leclerc ☑️

Liked scuderiaferrari, marcmarquez93 and 1'563'842 others

charles_leclerc A beautiful bike trip ☀️

View all 1'243 comments

arthur_leclerc❤️

sania OMG there's the proof! He was on a bike tour with Y/N!😱😱

ferrarigirl HE WAS!

vaniasilo Did anyone else notice, that this is the first time, Charles posted his bike? 🤔

pierregasly Icon 💪🏼💪🏼 charles_leclerc Next time, you have to come, Mate!

🔥 Y/N Y/L/N's Cryptic Post Sparks Intrigue: Is Charles Leclerc Her Co-Pilot on a Romantic Ride? 😱🏍️

😄 A new toy, a new adventure? Fans speculate as Y/L/N's Instagram post hints at a possible connection with Leclerc amid the scenic landscapes of Nice! 🚀🌉

Just when fans thought they had unraveled the tangled web of relationships surrounding MotoGP star Y/N Y/L/N, a new twist emerged as she posted a cryptic picture on Instagram, accompanied by a caption that set hearts racing. Y/L/N's intriguing post featured a snapshot of herself with a brand-new bike, along with the words, "Got myself a new toy 😄 and yes, I'm talking about the bike." The photo was taken in the picturesque city of Nice, France, located a mere 30 minutes away from Monaco, the hometown of F1 driver Charles Leclerc. 😱🏍️🌉

As fans quickly connected the dots, the speculation intensified. Could Y/L/N's newfound "toy" be symbolic of an exciting new chapter in her personal life? The proximity of Nice to Leclerc's hometown fueled rumors of a potential connection between the two racing stars, leaving fans breathless with anticipation. 🚀❤️

Fueling the fire of speculation, Charles Leclerc himself shared a picture on Instagram, showcasing his own bike, yet neither Y/L/N nor Leclerc tagged each other in their respective posts. This omission only added to the intrigue, leaving fans to ponder whether the two were on the scenic journey together. 🔍🧐

As social media erupted with debates and wild theories, followers and enthusiasts alike questioned whether the stunning landscapes of Nice played host to an intimate escapade between Y/L/N and Leclerc. With emotions running high and imaginations running wild, fans now find themselves on the edge of their seats, eagerly awaiting any further hints or confirmation of a blossoming romance between the two racing stars. 💘🌟

Amidst the exhilarating twists and turns of the love saga, one thing remains certain: the racing world will be forever captivated by the electrifying entanglements and unexpected connections that continue to unfold, both on and off the track. Strap on your helmets, folks, for the ride is far from over, and the truth may soon be revealed in the wind of their love-fueled adventures! 🏁🔥

arthur_leclerc and lorenzotl started follow you

#MotoGP x Formula 1 #MotoGP #Formula 1 #Formula 1 x oc #Formula 1 x reader #MotoGP x reader #MotoGP x OC #Marc Marquez x Reader #Carlos Sainz x Reader #Charles Leclerc x Reader

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the-passenger-if · 4 days

Note

hi Pime! Is it too early to ask questions about your new project yet? ROs and characters and setting and stuff? Sorry if this sounds pushy, that’s not intended!

Not at all! I enjoy talking about my IFs <3

Since I'm working on two projects I'll give you a quick rundown of both of them. First,

❆❆❆Leesangre❆❆❆

This game is set in the southernmost tip of South America in a distant future after a cataclysm wipes out most of humanity and the Earth turns into a big snow globe.

The main character travels in a caravan along with their family/clan which are also the only people they have ever interacted with, 1. because there aren't a lot of human beings around, just small settlements, and 2. because their family doesn't want other people to know about the main character. The lack of contact with other human beings and their constant dependency on their family has made the main character very sheltered.

The game starts after the death of the matriarch of the clan just as the main character's big brother becomes the new leader and everyone is feeling very uncertain about the future. The family consists of the main character's father (a huge mother-hen to everyone but mostly to MC and MC's niblings); the main character's brother (who has a strained relationship with MC); the mechanic of the caravan (the best mechanic in the world, or at least that's what they proclaim); the "shaman" of the caravan (a woman the caravan adopted when she was nine, she's in her late twenties at the start of the game); the main character's nephews, two teens who are also the clan's hunters, and the preteen nibling who has yet to find what role in the clan they will fulfill (these three were given to the clan when they were six, five, and one year old and they are presumably children of another big brother MC has never met); the main character's five-year-old niece and four-year-old nibling (they are the children of MC's brother and the mechanic). The clan also adopts a guy they find passed out in the snow at the start of the game (something neither the clan nor this guy really wanted but is forced onto all of them after he finds out about the main character).

The romantic options are:

Heco (they/them) — the clan's mechanic. They are thirty years old and they prefer to be maintaining the caravan than interacting with others but they don't mind people sitting in a corner and watching them work if they aren't too distracting and promise not to touch their tools. They're also the parent of MC's youngest's niblings, but they aren't in a relationship with MC's brother and never have been. It's a bit complicated.

Mo (she/her) — the curandera or shaman of the clan. If Heco is the hands of the caravan, Mo is its soul. It's impossible not to know where she is at any given time because she's a talking machine and also the type who loves to make people laugh. Of course, her jokes are hit or miss now that everyone is mourning the clan's matriarch but Mo's sense of humor can be like a runaway freight train if she isn't paying attention. (Mo is also my attempt at the friends-to-lovers trope)

Gil (he/his) — the guy the clan saves from certain death. He's in his early twenties and speaks a language that's more common in the north of the continent, so what was he doing completely alone so down south? Even though not much is known about him, he is friendly and quick to adapt to his new life in the caravan.

This game is a trilogy and I will add a few more ROs in the next books.

Project 2 is called,

˚.༄˚.༄A Song of Sirens and Soulmates (ASOSAS)˚.༄˚.༄

ASOSAS is set in modern times (2024∼) in an alternate timeline where Sirens appeared in the fifties changing the world forever. The game starts in New York but the main character and their buddy are thrown into the Siren realm around the first or second chapter so don't expect a lot NY lore.

In this alternate timeline Sirens are considered THE beauty standard with tall and toned bodies if they are male and petite and graceful figures if they are female. Also pointy ears, cavernous black eyes, and wide mouths full of sharp teeth.

Although they prefer to live in their own dimension it isn't rare to see Sirens as movie stars, runway models, and musicians. Most humans won't ever interact with this larger-than-life creatures but a few lucky ones will get claimed by the Song of the Siren, a red dot that shows up just above a person's belly button and marks them as a Siren's soulmate. Sure, leaving the human realm means never coming back but most people will take the opportunity if it means marrying and forming a family with these impossibly beautiful (and rich) beings.

Unfortunately, the main character of this game isn't interested in any of that and has been on the run since they were twenty and they were claimed. Seven years later, their betrothed finds them in a prison cell after they and their road buddy are detained at a punk show. MC is able to convince the Siren to bring said road buddy along and off they go into the Siren realm. Now MC and their ally must come up with a plan to escape before MC's wedding day befalls them.

The romantic options are:

Spook (ze/hir) — MC's ally in this mess. They met a month before the start of the game and decided to travel together for the time being. Spook is a thirty-three year old crust punk that can't stand Sirens and the power they wield over humans. Ze's also half-human and half-Siren, something ze carefully hides behind masks and dark shades. (Non-binary RO)

Verna/Vernon "Vern" Harley (she/her or he/his) — Twenty-four year old Vern is on the same boat as MC; they are a Siren's soulmate who has just arrived to this realm. Unlike MC, however, they've completely bought into the Siren fantasy and can't wait to marry and form a big family with their betrothed. Vern might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but they are a sweetheart and painfully candid. They are a breath of fresh air among the sneers of the Sirens. (Gender choosable RO)

Camille Abadi (she/her or he/his) — In their mid to late thirties, Camille has been married to their Siren for a longer time than they've been single. They speak with the tiniest trace of a french accent, which is hard to notice when they so seldom speak. They are very polite and attentive but a hard person to get to know on a deeper level. (Gender choosable RO)

#ask #hope my blurbs make sense xD #leesangre #asosas

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siriustaylorsversion · 1 year

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timothee chalamet x reader social media au

all that you ever wanted from me was, sweet nothing.

summary- you reveal your celebrity crush on the jimmy fallon show and the internet goes wild tagging him and telling him to make a move since his feelings are the same.

yourname.official

yourname.official tune in to watch me completely embarrass myself on the jimmy fallon show while talking about marvel, taylor swift, hamburgers and celebrity crushes at 8pm est... liked by taylorswift, vancityreynolds and 3,14,900 others.

taylornation she can make the whole place ✨shimmer✨ *liked by yourname.official

chrisevans Should we tag him?

yourname.official DON'T YOU DARE chrisevans hey, tchalamet robertdowneyjr something for you tchalamet chrishemsworth hey mate, tchalamet paulrudd is this a new trend? tchalamet scarlettjohansson guys, leave her alone.........tchalamet

yourname'sfan.forevermore as paul rudd said, hopping onto the trend tchalamet

haileesteinfield i'm on your team yourname.official but WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

yourname.official damn this is not how i thought this post would go...

yourname.official

yourname.official thank you everyone for tagging him! (i'm being sarcastic paulrudd) but at least you got us talking? liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 2,80,999 others.

tchalamet to all who want to know... the way to get this girl is using taylorswift lyrics.

yourname.official facts. tchalamet what are you a rapper now? yourname.official LIL TIMMY TIM IN DA HOUSE. tchalamet forget i asked.

taylorswift i say that's my baby and i'm proud...

yourname.official I LOVE YOU. yournametaylorsversion HE USED YOUR LYRICS OMG

tchalametdaily

tchalametdaily guess who did the paps spot today in NY?

liked by haileesteinfield and 10,890 others.

yourname.forevermore SCREAMING.CRYING.THROWINGUP.

haileesteinfield is this how i'm gonna get information about you now youname.official... is it?!

timotheefanclub WAIT WTF IT HAPPENED ALREADY?

yournamefan.69 that's what she said?

tchalamet

tchalamet do you really wanna know where i was april 29th? hint: it was 8pm est... liked by yourname.official, chrisevans and 2,02,309 others.

yourname.official stop with the blondie lyrics.

tchalamet afraid you'll say yes? timmyfan WAIT WTF?! paulrudd I... what do you call it?? paulrudd ship! I ship! yourname.official paulrudd no one says that anymore, grandpa

yourname.forevermore I LOVE THIS. I LOVE YOU BOTH. I'VE FINALLY STARTED LOVING LIFE.

blakelively so... do we keep on tagging you in her posts?

yourname.official i love you, but NO

yourname.official

taylorswift can i keep her? happy birthday, my love 🩷 liked by tchalamet, joealwyn, yourname.official and 4,05,690 others.

yourname.official thank you for *everything*!

tchalamet is that a beautiful boy reference? yourname.official i told you i loved it.

blakelively happy birthday sweetheart!

yourname.official thank you!!! tell vancityreynolds you're the funnier one!!

tchalamet

tchalamet happiest birthday mon ange, thank you for all your support, love and just for... existing. wherever you stray i'll follow, here's to a new chapter in your life. liked by yourname.official, taylorswift, and 3,09,700 others.

comments on this post have been limited

yourname.official WOWZA you have a way with words. i cannot thank god enough that you're here in my life and i hope you know i'll be with you forevermore.

yourname.official

yourname.official thank you everyone for ALL the birthday wishes, i love you all a lot!!!!!!! manifesting for more happiness, strength and love till the next one!

liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 5,06,690 others. comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet love the shirt!

yourname.official you would because it's YOUR gift.

taylorswift 🥺🖤

yourname.official it's you and me, that's my whole world.

spread love and kindness <3

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abruisedmuse · 1 year

Text

QUESTION...?

Song analysis

Kinda wild that this is the first thing I'm talking in length about since it's not my usual and I don't talk song analysis I typically write fanfic and make edits when creative but this won't leave my head so here we are.

Things to note before we jump in:

In Taylor's speech last night when she said she was the happiest she's been in all aspects of her life, she referred to this song as it being a happy memory. Being the lyrics it didn't click unless it refers to someone close to her now. The person who fits this is Matty.

Question...? Is in the pre-show playlist for The 1975. An odd choice if you ask me being unless you listen to Midnights you know it. From my knowledge Preshow playlists usually contain top charting hits, released singles etc. To me, this feels like Matty kinda showing off that she wrote a song about him. Sorry if there's any typos I did this before coffee and I didn't have my glasses on lmao. If you don't like Matty that's fine, then this post isn't for you and you can keep on scrolling.

I cut off the intro on accident, it says "I remember". That could be just setting up the song stating this deals with the past. Or it's a response to the line in 'About you' by The 1975 where Matty sings, "Do you think I have forgotten. She says no I haven't, I remember.

The first line in the verse is giving two characters: Taylor, the good girl. Matty, the sad boy. Taylor went to two shows in 2014 for The 1975. One in LA and one in NY. I'm going with NY for this setting. The one thing going on was that they hooked up. Possibly seeing each other albeit extremely briefly.

Regardless of what it was it impacted her life greatly. He painted her nights a color she's been looking for ever since. Ever since Matty left her she's been trying to chase that feeling. Kinda ties into her speech last night too because she finally found it. After she had to deal with one thing after another. Other relationships, media, pandemic. Basically all the hurdles in her life that brought them back together. (It could also be in reference to their past situationship and what caused the fallout. )

Taylor wants to talk. She has questions about the past and wants to clear the air.

I think this took place when they were all hanging out and everyone was just shocked when it happened. They kissed around friends and were teased about it. But the friends in question gave an approval by clapping. These were super close friends who wouldn't tell any media outlets so I'm thinking like Selena, George, Ross, Adam. Etc. People who won't talk but I could see teasing tf out of them but being supportive. I don't remember which show Karlie was at which is why I didn't say her. Anyway, she's now asking him and what he did as in do you remember? Cause I do. And then she continues with her questions.

Now, Matty was using alot of drugs around here so it's possible he remembered but not everything. Or it's possible he did and wants to forget that he left in middle of night. Because as soon she asks that he goes oh. The oh is him being like ah fuck. So then Taylor shoots back three consecutive questions. Whatever happened in the past I think was her call for whatever reason maybe he didn't want to public or be in a relationship. And because she knows herself, the feelings are getting too much, she's getting this strong connection and feelings she has to end it. And Does it bother him he didn't fight for it? Does it bother him the way it does her? Does he miss her? He seems taken aback and she's saying well its just a question. A hypothetical one. He's doubting that.

This is about the Brit awards and Calvin. Stay with me. Half-moon eyes elude to someone on drugs, i.e., Matty. Peep the last line line the image "but you were on somethin". indiciating the half-moon eyes are not from weed but something harder. The bad surprise is Calvin. And this is the moment Matty knew he fucked up because he had still feelings. He was jealous cause the brit awards was when Taylor and Calvin met and as we all know. The dude is a dickhead lol.

Lots of drinking, no one should be surprised by with Matty. Idk about the politics and gender roles. It's clearly about Matty. Since hes more of an activist than Taylor and has songs about politics, has worn skirts, make up, kisses guy. It's also kinda about Taylor. Idk love to heard thoughts. I know it my bones it connects. Could also be in connection with the fact that a couple months after the awards Matty says dating Taylor would be emasculating. I think he said it out of anger. Anger at himself for not being with her, jealous of Calvin, and pissed shes dating the said dickhead. Anyway back to the awards time, they are fighting. Matty is unhappy with her talking to Calvin. And she probably asks him again what he wants. He doesn't know but he sure as hell doesn't want her with that guy.

The second best after that meteor strike is going back to the first verse. About the color she's searched for. I said it deeply impacted her. This indicates it did for the both of them. After the impact of her, Taylor. Has anyone even come close to the intense feelings they shared in a short time? The her in question I feel like it depends on when this song was written. However if we take the scene that is set for us and the time frame given, it's probably Halsey. Otherwise if it was written in 2021/2022 then it could be FKA Twigs. Whichever her, there's no hate there. She's happy for him. Truly. Either one suits him better, however she can't help but wonder...

Then the chorus repeats. Back to her speech, the reason she is saying this is a happy memory for her. Is because now it is. Her thoughts are filled with what could have happened? That color she's been searching for, the missing piece, it's found again. It's come back to her. Now she can look back, laugh, and think of it as happy. This is why everything in her life finally feels like it makes sense.

feel free to add on if you like. This is just my initial thoughts breaking down Question..? after last night

Tagging: @musicjunkie29 @deeenerys17 @hauntedromantics @littleeyelidsflutter (Ya'll seemed excited by the Musicjunkie's post so I thought of you all)

#taylor swift #matty healy #the 1975 #midnights #midnights 3am edition #question...?#1989 #taylor x matty #maylor #mattay #song analysis #lyrics

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