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solena2 · 3 years

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So.

Tommy isn’t Theseus. Every time I see Techno’s analogy about Tommy being Theseus brought up I’m filled with endless rage and I’ve DECIDED!

That it’s about time I explained just why it’s so objectively incorrect.

First: a bit of backstory on Theseus, because I doubt many of you actually know much about him beyond what Techno said in his “so you want to be a hero” speech, which left out a lot of relevant details.

Theseus was a demigod with two fathers and one mother. His fathers were king Aegeus of Athens and the sea god Poseidon, and his mother was Aethra, Aegeus’ wife. Aethra raised Theseus on her own, far from Athens to avoid him being assassinated.

Aegeus left him nothing but a sword with the Athenian crest and a pair of sandals, buried under a rock so no one else could get them.

When Theseus came of age, he took the sword and sandals and headed up to Athens, slaying various monsters along the way. (It pains me to abbreviate it that much, but Techno left out everything before the Minotaur so it won’t help me much in debunking his analogy.)

Once he got to Athens, he met up with his dad, chased out his stepmom Medea, (yes, that Medea) and killed some people. Then comes the relevant part.

Crete had won a war against Athens a while back, and because of this, every seven years Athens was forced to send 14 tributes to be killed by the Minotaur. (Yes, this inspired the Hunger Games)

Theseus decided he’d volunteer and kill the Minotaur, thus ending the tribute system for good and getting one over on Athens. He promised his dad that if he won, he’d come back in a ship with white sails, as opposed to the standard mourning black that signified the death of the tributes.

So he went to Crete, met king Minos and his daughters Ariadne and Phaedra, and got sent into the labyrinth. Ariadne gave him a magic ball of string that kept him from getting lost, allowing him to find the Minotaur and then safely get out afterwards, providing he could kill it.

He killed it, led his other 13 tributes out, and sailed back home. On the way, Athena told him to leave Ariadne stranded on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, so he immediately did so, because Theseus was an asshole.

He got home, his dad committed suicide because Theseus forgot the white sails and his dad assumed he’d died, Theseus became king and married Phaedra, and then the fun began, because again, Theseus was an asshole.

First, he cheated on Phaedra with Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons, so she left and took the kids. Next, he and his other asshole friend Pirithous decided to kidnap themselves some new wives. Theseus decided on Helen of Troy, who was a child at the time, and Pirithous decided on Persephone, which resulted in both him and Theseus getting stuck in the Underworld for a while due to pissing off Hades.

Once he got back up, he killed his son for fucking his wife, which is messed up on many levels, and then left Athens because his people were rightfully not super okay with that.

Then he goes and meets Lycomedes, who throws him off a cliff.

Next, let’s talk about Techno’s speech a bit.

He starts off by accusing Tommy of being a power hungry dictator (paraphrased), before asking him if he wants to be a hero.

Then, he provides what is apparently the archetypal example of heroism, something often associated with selflessness, kindness, and generally giving at least one singular solitary fuck about other people.

Theseus! Heroic hero who does heroic things, like, uhhh *checks notes* cheating on his wife, kidnapping children with plans to forcefully marry them, leaving people alone on tiny islands with no supplies, killing his kid, etc. etc...

So we’re off to a great start.

Then, he gives a short summary of Theseus’ life and times! He skips the first part of his life completely, which is hilarious to me because it’s the only time Theseus ever did anything actually heroic or selfless, and gets straight to the meat!

“Let me tell you a story, Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus. His country was in danger, he sent himself forward! Into enemy lines. He slayed the Minotaur! And saved his city. You know what they did to him, Tommy? They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. That’s what happens to heroes, Tommy.”

-Technoblade

So first off, he doesn’t mention... really anything other than the Minotaur and the exile, which is leaving out a lot of relevant details, like why Theseus was exiled. (You know, killing his son in cold blood?)

Second, he doesn’t give details in general. Not that he should’ve given a full telling, or anything, but I’m always surprised by the shortness of this speech when I go back and listen to it. He pretty much just gives the barest bones of an argument and expects his audience to take it at face value. (Which they do, but it’s still bad practice)

From the more accurate (if still brief) summary if Theseus’ life I’ve just given, I’m sure you can see why this might be more than a bit dubious, as an analogy. Given cc!Technoblade is literally an English major, and doubtless knows significantly more about the myth than I do, I’d imagine this was never intended to be taken at face value.

Over and over again, c!Techno proves himself to be an unreliable narrator, and over and over again, the fandom at large takes his word as gospel.

Now, as far as a more in depth argument for Tommy as Theseus goes, I will attempt to debunk that as well, because there are some genuinely good points to be made.

First of all, most people make Dream out to be the Minotaur. Given the time this speech was made, I imagine Schlatt was the intended target of that, but with latter events in mind, Dream does make much more sense.

I’d say this is honestly pretty fair, but I don’t think Tommy takes the role of Theseus in that narrative. I’d argue he’s much more analogous to the role of Ariadne, giving the tools required to defeat Dream but ultimately not doing so through his own power, but because someone chose to take those tools and make use of them. This also provides the very interesting characterization of Punz as Theseus, which is an incredibly unique take that I hope some a Punz enthusiast does something with, because I don’t know enough about his lore to make a good analysis on that.

The idea of Schlatt as the Minotaur, as was probably intended by Techno at the time, makes much more sense, though I still think other characters fit the role better. Firstly, Schlatt wasn’t killed, he died of a heart attack, and if someone had killed him I think it’s more likely to have been Wilbur or Techno who did it than Tommy, as Tommy was still very hopeful and idealistic at the time, at least compared to his character now. You could posit Tommy as Ariadne again in this situation, given he was the one to mastermind the final charge, and though I think Tommy as Ariadne is an idea that’s worth further exploration, I’d say Fundy futs the Ariadne role here much better, with him giving the spy’s diary before being effectively shunned and left out in the cold by both Pogtopia and Manburg, much like Ariadne was abandoned in the original myth.

I’d posit the Theseus in this scenario as Techno, Wilbur, or possibly Philza, as they were the ones to actually kill things in the 16th, though Techno and Wilbur’s killings were more in the metaphorical sense, taking the second life of L’manburg.

As for the exile, Tommy exile was alike to that of Theseus only in concept. Both were sent from their kingdoms for a crime, resulting in a falling out with someone close to them, and had a precarious relationship with heights while they were gone, but that’s about where the similarities end and even then they’re superficial.

First of all, Tommy’s exile was far more because Dream was looking for an excuse to do it than because briefing actually means anything on the SMP, given how Dream had been griefing bases and blaming Tommy for it for a while before it went down. (Fun fact, Bad and Skeppy were going to burn one of his discs over this, but one of them got sick so they had to cancel the stream.)

Theseus’ exile, on the other hand, was entirely deserved, especially when you consider how serious a crime killing family was in Ancient Greek culture. It was pretty much the biggest no-no in existence, and I’m almost surprised he wasn’t just straight up executed for it.

Second, Tommy’s falling out with Tubbo was almost entirely due to outside forces, (Dream) rather than because anything Tommy had done. Though Tommy’s cavalierness towards the trial and attempts to threaten Dream with Spirit doubtless didn’t help things, Dream surrounding L’manburg in obsidian walls and threatening them to exile Tommy was entirely his own choice, and not something that can be pinned on Tommy, no matter what the apologists may say.

Meanwhile, Theseus’ falling out with Phaedra had begun long before his exile with him cheating on her. Him killing his son was merely the last in a long line of dominos to completely destroy their relationship.

Last, Tommy nearly killing himself is very different from Theseus being pushed off a cliff. Tommy’s near suicide was the direct result of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of c!Dream for what was canonically, I believe, several months? (Correct me if I’m wrong on that one.) Tommy almost jumping off a pillar because he was deliberately isolated from his support systems is nothing like Theseus being killed because he was a cocky asshole who thought he was god.

So that’s why I don’t think Tommy is anything like Theseus, and why I’m filled with endless rage by the completely uncritical acceptance of this parallel, but it’s not the whole reason it pisses me off.

It also pisses me off because, as stated earlier, cc!Techno is an English major. He knew what he was doing with this. The fandom’s insistence on refusing to acknowledge his character as an unreliable narrator is, in my opinion, acting as a massive kneecap to what could be a great analysis of how he thinks.

Specifically: why does c!Technoblade think Tommy is like Theseus?

Of all the Greek heroes to pick, why that one? Was it just the tantalizing opportunity to parallel Schlatt with a horned monster, or was it because c!Techno has some genuine in-character reason to think this myth specifically applies to Tommy.

Now, we all know people in the SMP have a habit of analogizing Wilbur and Tommy. The assumption Tommy wanted to be president, the belief that Tommy nominated Tubbo directly, the belief that he was intentionally deceiving Techno about Pogtopia’s intentions regarding Manburg... all of these stem from Wilbur. There are more cases of this, of course, but several analyses have been done in the subject already, and this is long enough without more padding.

So why does Techno think Tommy is Theseus? Well, it’s simple, isn’t it?

Wilbur is Theseus.

To be continued, because this is already too long and my brain hurts.

#original post #dream smp #dream smp analysis #technoblade #tommyinnit #technoblade critical #(i guess. honestly I didn’t say much about techno himself in this but just to be safe)#dsmp #dsmp analysis #dream smp meta #dsmp meta #my writing #can you tell i don’t like Theseus much #hated to leave out his early life stuff because it’s genuinely super interesting but it wasn’t really relevant so I had to cut it :(#if you want a more detailed description of Theseus I’d recommend the rick riordan book on Greek heroes #it’s not the most scholarly work but it gives the bare bones of the myths in an accessible way that doesn’t take an English degree to read #call me a fake nerd if you want but I like the humor and digestibility #there are typos in this post and I Do Not Care

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obssessivethorn · 3 years

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“Home” [Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: In the final moments before battle, the traveler's worry grows fast. Their own twin stands at the other end of the battlefield, refusing to put their resolve to rest and come home. Archons forbid their fight be to the death.

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Major character death(s), death in general

Word Count: 2,889 words

Date Posted: July 8, 2021

Note: This is based purely off of fan theories, my own predictions, and knowledge of the game as it is currently. It will include spoilers for the “We will be reunited” archon quest if you have not gotten that far into the story yet. As well as hints of lore from the Honkai Impact game. This is in no way in indication of the game’s ending and should be taken as merely a fan based prediction/theory of one of the many possibilities of this story’s ending. Please enjoy! (This turned out longer than intended-)

Let me know if you want to see more to this au type thing. I’d gladly write about Diluc and Kaeya reconciling and seeing each other as brothers again as well as other stuff with the characters!

"Home"

★★★

The traveler had gained the former power back, their hand retracting from their resonance with the holy statue. Their friends stood around them, watching with widened eyes which hold a burning amazement. The traveler’s power unlike any they have ever seen.

Wings stretch to their sides to bask in the moon’s godly light. An ethereal glow began to emanate around their being as if they too had taken the form of an archon. Each element’s swirl could be felt within their body, bringing forth a familiar feeling. Near completion.

With their power restored once more, their feet landed back to the ground. Sword in hand, they turned back to their friends. From adepti to everyday workers, the traveler has gathered their closest and very best known fighters and friends to help them.

The battle was approaching, yanking every breath of fresh air and common sense from the traveler. Their friends would be fighting faceless beings. People turned to monsters. Who couldn’t be saved.

But the traveler couldn’t hold the same courage they could. On the other side of the battlefield stood their sibling. Their twin. Flesh and blood who they have traveled worlds together with. And they would fight. Archon forbid, to the death.

A shaky breath left their lips, eyes closed shut after gazing harshly at the ground for too long. Feeling a hand placed on their shoulder pulled them back to reality before they could spiral further into fear’s welcoming grasp. Looking back at the owner of the limb, they could finally find a clear breath to fill their lungs.

Venti’s sorrowful smile pierced the traveler. A silent understanding blew through their hair, sending golden wisps in different directions. Archons forbid death.

Taking a step back, the wind god left a lingering warmth upon the traveler’s shoulder. He made his back to where the other archons stood, powerful grace dawning him as the traveler had never seen before. A true god ready to fight a war once again.

The traveler took a sigh, grasping any courage they could find before turning their gaze to their friends.

“Alright, so as you all probably know, The Abyss Order has finally risen.” Their voice shook, cracking every other word. They cleared their throat before continuing.

“We were unable to prevent them from creating what is essentially a mechanized god. However, this does not mean we are doomed!” The traveler looked upon the sea of faces. Fear, shock, and suppressed somber mixed together.

How could they let this happen? It was never supposed to come to this. Dragging their friends into a war. Starting a war to begin with! Children stood among the crowd. While they may be talented vision holders, they were still too young to face this. But they still insisted. Pleading with the traveler to let them help. And they let it happen.

Their breath began to shorten again, tears fighting their usual calm composure. They could feel themselves spiraling once more. How could they let this happen? Let it get this far? Let children-

A voice broke them from their thoughts yet again.

“Traveler!”

Looking over to the figures running around the outside of the crowd, they saw four familiar Knights Of Favonius growing closer. Amber waved her hands high to grab their attention as the small group approached.

“Mondstat has been evacuated, all of the citizens are being led to Liyue by the knights of Favonius.” Amber smiled, reassuring the Traveler of innocents’ safety.

“Great, and the people of Liyue?” The traveler asked, redirecting their attention to Jean.

“Safely protected by a shield covering the harbor.” The woman smiled. “But if worse comes to worse, you can’t forget that both cities’ people are still able to fight. While Mond has the Knights of Favonius, Liyue has the Qixing. Each nation has their own means of defense, so trust us, Traveler. Even Schneznaya has the Fatui.” Jean’s grin grew wider, excited pride slipping through her calm mask.

The traveler smiled back, chuckling at their own worry. “You’re right, they should all be able to hold their own and protect each other, with Visions or not.” They turned back to the crowd, Amber, Lisa, Jean, and Kaeya now by their side.

“Now, as we stand, the Abyss Order is marching our way. Their movements may be unpredictable to us, but we know this land better than they do. It definitely won’t be easy,” the traveler took a quick breath, heart weighing heavier in their chest. “But The Regions of Teyvat will triumph today.” The crowd’s cheers roar through the field.

“Nicely said, Honorary Knight,” Jean turned to the traveler, smiling proudly at them.

“Ya know, I didn’t think you had such a thing in you,” Kaeya mused, patting their shoulder.

“To be honest,” the short blonde chuckled,” I was totally speaking out of my ass there.” Their light grin faltered, falling into uncomfortable worry.

“I know it’s hard, but you’re not alone, traveler,” Jean placed a hand on their shoulder, sympathy painting her features.

“We’re all here for you,” Lisa gave them a quick, meaningful hug. “Besides, what would I do without my little helper~.” The traveler let out a light laugh, however, the easy moment couldn’t compete with the bubbling anxiety filling their lungs.

Air weighed heavily.

Gentle breezes turned to cold gusts.

“May the archons protect us.” Jean prayed, stepping away to rally her section of the Knights. Lisa and Amber followed suit, preparing their squadrons both mentally and physically.

Kaeya remained by the blonde’s side, gazing at the crowd with an unreadable expression.

“Are you going to be okay?” The traveler’s question broke him from his thoughts.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, a piece of his mask beginning to slip. “I understand.”

The traveler’s face morphed into confusion. Understand? Understand what? What could Kayea, a man of many eloquent words, mean by such a short, vague statement?”

The man chuckled again.

Another crack in his mask.

His eyes drifted to Diluc, then to Dainsleif. Crack.

A sigh escaped his lips, forcing his smile to fall sour.

Crack.

His gaze fell to the floor, watching his now fallen, damaged mask lay among the dancing grass as if it had separated from a slain hilichurl.

The man who stood before the lost twin was not the same flirty and mischievous Knight of Favonius they had met all those months ago.

This man was Kaeya. A Khaenri’ahn who’s life was ripped away by the archons themselves. A man sent to create a downfall of other nations in retaliation for the onslaught of his country’s people. Kaeya Alberich. Khaenri’aian survivor.

His gaze drew from his Mond identity laying idly by his feet, to the traveler. “I understand why you’re scared.” Tears brimmed in the man’s eyes, a glint of fear sparkling in his pupil.

All previous disdain for the people who had fallen seemed to hide, a glimpse of it remained hiding beneath his eyes. But it soon became evident to the traveler, whatever conversation he had with Dainsleif, was enough to inject guilt and sympathy within his veins. But still not enough to instill total remorse.

A silent understanding passed between the two. No words passed through the air between them.

Despite being humans turned monsters, despite Kaeya’s place of blame on his people, they were still victims of the Cataclysm.

The traveler placed a hand on their friend’s shoulder. They sent a quick smile, opening their mouth to speak, only to be interrupted.

“Hey, traveler!”

Turning their head to the sound of their name, they were met with a certain ‘tone-deaf’ bard.

Kaeya nodded with a slight smile, turning away and walking in the direction of his brother.

“Are you ready?” The archon’s voice was soft, contrasting from his usual high pitched giggles.

The traveler had expected a witty one liner to help bring up their mood or a quick joke poking at their seriousness. However, the bard merely looked drained, eye bags lining his face with a somber expression painted over his soft features.

“I don’t know.” The words brush past their lips before they could think. Were they ready? They had to face their twin of all people. How could they be ready? “I plan to bring them back.” They stated. “To bring them home.” The traveler stared out into the crowd, watching people prepare.

“But will you be able to?” Venti stared intently at the ground as if it were his enemy. The question was aimed mainly at himself rather than the traveler and seemed to slip past him before he could stop it. He quickly shook away the thought, noticing the growing worry on the lone twin’s face. “Of course you will!” His mask was back up, a playful ‘hehe’ drawing past his lips.

“Yeah, I will,” the traveler breathed, a lie beautifully woven within the truth.

•~•

The city of Mondstat lay dim in the distance, the army of Knights and vision holders drifting further from home with each step.

Across the clear fields of Windrise stood monsters. Creatures from the Abyss wielding dark and power hungry gazes.

Many stared in disgust, watching the distant crowd draw closer. Other however, glanced at the group in pity, quickly averting their gazes to refocus their minds. Few knew the true story of the fallen nation 500 years ago, letting their hearts weigh heavy with sympathetic solitude.

Leading the enemy was a familiar figure. The Abyssal Royalty stood proud yet steeled away, gazing at their opponent from across the grassy pathway. Few stems of small lamp grass paved the way between both sides, guiding each distant traveler to meet their other half once again.

Away from their allies, the lost twins hesitantly stepped nearer. A temporary truce of peace passed between them, its wick quickly beginning to burn.

“Lumine,” Aether broke the evening silence. His voice held strong, only to be mocked by the hurt hidden beneath his golden eyes.

“Aether.” Lumine mimicked her brother, the same strong yet weak presence plaguing her voice.

A silent plea from both siblings rang through the surrounding air.

“We can leave, go home! Together..”

“My battle and your journey are yet to be over.”

“After all this time, you still keep saying things that make no sense. Who are you battling other than me?”

The traveler’s twin paused, momentarily shocked from their sibling’s words.

“I’m fighting those who tore us apart.”

The Abyssal twin’s gaze hardened, shifting into an icy glare which shot through their sibling’s heart. Oddly, the sharpened look seemed to pass through the traveler, aimed at a distant being among the crowd of Knights.

“Those who..” the traveler’s words drew thin, disappearing within the air.

A crackling rang through the air, drawing the twins and their respective allies’ attention. Three familiar diamonds tore through the sky, ripping an entrance for a rather infamous figure to emerge.

“Your journeys must end here, outlanders.” Golden eyes pierced the twins, an authoritative air emanating from the unknown goddess. “You’ve altered the weight of destiny from your first arrival, now you must own up to your actions.” With a flick of her hand, the god isolated the three, barriers blocking the view of both armies racing toward their leaders. Their screams fell silent as the last cube sealed them in, the last view being the face of Barbatos, reaching out in elegant mimicry of the day he tried and failed to rescue her. Once again, he wasn’t fast enough.

Within concealment, the twins readied their swords, tri-wings stretching after years of rest.

“Fight as long as you wish, but you will always come back to the same point. Failure.”

Upon hearing her words the twins launched forward, entering yet another intense dance with the god.

•~•

For what felt like hours, the three battled as they had once before, only with the twin’s new found strength to differ. The outlander’s feet hit the ground, enough adrenaline pumping to let them ignore the battered bruises.

The fallen goddess now lay still, defeated by the twins with the joint help of the archons’ powers. A wind-bearing bard tends to a scared girl, broken from the evil which once plagued her.

The abyssal twin gazed at their sibling in awe. A twinge of pain entered their chest at the thought of what they must have gone through trying to find them. How could they have so badly abandoned their own twin? Millions of questions and blame raced through their mind, blurring their vision with tears.

A name reached their ears. Was it theirs? Wait. It was from their twin. Why were they shouting his name? They were safe now.

The traveling twin rushed forward, pushing their other half out of the way and taking the incoming blow. They fell to the ground clutching their chest in pain. The cold felt strangely welcoming. Only, their hands filled with warmth. Now wasn’t the time to nap, but sleep’s comforting embrace wanted to engulf them. Closing their eyes for a second wouldn’t hurt.

•~•

Tears began to pour, outweighing the pellets of falling rain. “Please, wake up.” They cried, pain filling their chest with each second passing by. “We can go home now, the war’s over.” They hiccuped, silently denying an unreal truth.

“Majesty!”

“Honorary Knight!”

Shouts from either side could be heard, only to fall on the deaf ears of the traveler’s sibling. Upon viewing the sight, the surroundings fell silent. Not even the thundering sky could dent the area’s torturous quiet.

Holding their twin close to them, the abyssal sibling let tears slip through their grasp. “We can leave now, just like you wanted!” A small squeeze around their hand gave them hope, gasping with widened eyes.

Below them, the traveler forced their eyes into a squint. Their hand squeezed lightly within their sibling’s. “Home is wherever we are together.”

A sob left the abyssal twin’s lips, forcing a cry to echo in the pouring rain. “You’re right, we’re home! We’re together. We’re-.” Their twin’s grip loosened.

“Hey…,” the crying blonde nudged their other half. “Hey, wake up… we’re home.” Their nudges grew to hasty shaking. “Come on, wake up.” Sob.

“Wake up!” Sob. “Come back!” Crack.

The final thread holding the lone twin’s hope snapped, releasing a titlewave of buried emotions. Unsaid words of appreciation. Unplanned surprise hugs. Introducing new friends which they both longed for. Battle training in different worlds. Fulfilling their prophecy for this world. Long forgotten “I love you”s. Gone. With a stupid flick of a wrist.

The now lost twin sat alone, hand traveling through matted blonde locks stained with blood. As to who the red liquid belonged to, they hadn’t a clue.

Silence once again weaved through the solemn tension which hung frigid with every breath. Tears continued to stream down the outlander’s face, falling onto the face of their loss.

“Your majesty…” An abyssal mage floated steadily toward their ruler. Its words were phrased more as a question of fear rather than a statement.

Wordlessly, the Abyss Ruler began to stand, hooking their arm underneath the crook of their twin’s knees and their back. Their eyes didn’t leave the body now laying limp in their grasp. A hollow warning passed through the air as they slowly trudged to the wind Statue of the Seven.

The statue of Windrise was a signature point of Mondstat, the giant tree creating an elegant background for the stone monument. Windwheel asters lined the edge as anemo crystalflies drifted through the general breeze.

The now lone traveler placed their sibling down on the ground in front of the statue, kneeling beside them. Another broken sob left their lips, silently pleading with whatever remaining archon Teyvat had left to bring their twin back, punish them for their actions, kill them too, anything.

“Anything please,” they whimpered, eyes squeezed shut to prepare for any punishment the gods may bring. “Just don’t let them suffer for my mistakes. It should have been me. If only I was faster.”

The wind’s light breeze grew heavily, picking up into gental gusts of air. The change wasn’t enough to gain the attention of the traveler, however. Only a new voice entering their mind broke their distraught focus.

“Open your eyes, child.”

Doing as the voice said, the blonde was met with a young bard whose physical body seemed as if it was disintegrating. Patches of pale skin detached from the main vessel, floating upward toward Celestia only to vanish within the rays of the rising sun.

“Your twin will never be forgotten, and neither will you.” The bard outstretched his hand, an ethereal light seemed to emanate from him. “Your story will be remembered.” An empathetic smile dawned his lips, attempting to distract from the pain which glimmered beneath his gaze. An understanding of pain.

“Lord Barbatos?” The still kneeling traveler gazed up in awe at the god. “The wind archon?”

Light chuckles passed his lips. “Yes, only… I am no longer the archon of wind, merely another god whose time is finally up.”

“Please, punish me. I’ve only caused pain to the people of Teyvat.”

“No.”

“No?” The blonde whimpered.

“No, just please, come home.” The bard bent down in front of them, pushing a strand of hair from their face as he had 500 years ago.

Oh, how the beautiful fall.

•~•

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limeinaltime · 2 years

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Random bits of extra OC/lore facts that fit into both the Deus Ex Murder Machina and Hell. Pain Even AUs

- R was also a trainer for the younger generations, and was especially harsh and left everyone with either trauma or a lot of unhealthy needs for validation, control as well as over-the-top expectations for their teammates. Picking on X's students was one of the few ways to get X to actually bare her teeth and show more of the fire she had in her early days, something R secretly sorely misses.

- S wasn't so much a trainer, but he was asked to watch over the new drones sometimes when X and R were busy. They didn't mind each other and just vibed together until X came to pick them up.

- X did have a baby stage, except instead of an untrained neural network, she started out as a smaller version of her current form that slowly grew bigger as time passed due to the Void. The Internecion Drones are made of an artificial nanite version of the Void, so they also started out smaller than their current forms, although they started their lives as "adolescents" to allow them to keep up with X. I also just like the idea of baby Internecion Drones. Human-sized monster bots with wobbly legs.

- Cali was the highest-performing Scout Drone of her time, and became a well-respected and beloved doctor after the core explosion. Eko looked up to her a lot, and Cali was one of the few who treated the Blueshift women with respect before her death. She and Indy were good friends.

- X and S were one-time co-workers with benefits after X and R broke up

- I personally think that Khan was an okay (emphasis on "okay") guy when he was younger otherwise there would be no justifiable way for me to explain how he and Cali ended up together. He was programmed to be a builder, and was kind of always a workaholic with a one-track mind, at least until a group of Scout Drones took shelter in one of the bunkers he and his crew were working on. Khan didn't pay much mind until one of them thanked him for the shelter, winked at him, and vanished into the night, taking Khan's heart with her. The two reunited after the core collapse several years later, burned hot for a couple of years, and then decided to have a child. Their romance, while still in a sort of honeymoon period, seemed destined to succeed, and then everything changed when JC Jensen sent some unwelcome visitors to clean up their mess.

- Uzi had a super secret senpai crush on Eko when she was younger that she eventually gets over and is very embarrassed about. A lot of the teens who aren't as influenced by their parent's views on Eko actually think she's kinda hot??? She'll never know.

- N and O were a kinda-sorta thing during training (the feelings were complicated), and the two had a bad argument shortly before she died. He still feels really bad about that.

- Eko was attacked by J during the first wave of murder drone attacks, and got a bad crack on her forehead. Her mom came in to save her and Eko's head healed (Core Drones have an early version of the regenerative nanites due to the nature of where they were meant to work), but she still had nightmares about J cracking her face until the bunker invasion, where she's forced to confront her demons and return the favor.

- Eko isn't from Copper 9. There is a colony near the crater with very different living conditions than the other colonies, and after Indy's ex-husband left her to raise her daughter alone, she left to give Eko a better, safer life, leading them both to Reuben.

- I've mentioned this before, but Eko is a great mechanic and does her own repairs. She has a better understanding of her inner mechanisms than any of the older, certified doctors at Copper 9 and knows it. She also offers free healthcare (and maybe had to repress the urge to drive a screwdriver through Khan's face when he told her she shouldn't)

- Eko has a shitty ex named Brad who basically used her to cheat and spread a bunch of stupid rumors about that did not do her reputation (or self-esteem) any favors

- All of my OCs are good singers, but only O, Eko and X know how to dance

#murder drones #oc #deus ex murder machina #hell. pain even. (murder drones edition)#Serial Designation X #Serial Designation R #Serial Designation S #Eko Blueshift #Cali Mendatta

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vivid-wisp · 3 years

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You know how it be suffering from big brainrot being into FNF so I’ve compiled a list of ideas for the characters. This is more so for myself but thought I'd share some of my ideas. Take this as you will, these headcanons are based on educated guesses, actual lore, or just for fun. I also really like explaining my reasoning for some stuff so be ready for that. Long post. :]

Boyfriend / BF

- Is asian specifically Japanese, based on the idea how the dev team like to agree Hatsune Miku is BF’s canon sibling. Can also be asian American.

- Despite his appearance BF is actually somewhat physically strong and capable. If he can’t rap battle someone he’d be down to beat someone up, based on the idea how PA (Phantom Arcade) says he sucks at FromSoftware games and would rather throw down IRL than in video games.

- Him and Pico were exes, but they dated when they were WAY YOUNGER, and this was before when BF or Pico knew how to handle a relationship properly. Pico was the one to call things off. (more on Pico’s section) They may still get kind of flustered around each other.

- For most of his childhood, BF never really felt like he stood out. It leads into the reason why he likes singing since it ironically feels like he's being heard, despite not really liking to talk a lot. He was a very quiet kid back then. He'd always liked singing and rapping, he just wasn't put into a position of intense judgement until meeting GF's father and mother, rockstar and ex-rockstar. Training arc begins.

- BF took courses/majored in music design or sound design in college, but dropped out to spend more time with Girlfriend and practice his musical talent himself seeing as it felt more natural than doing boring classes.

- Despite what people think, BF doesn’t dye his hair. It WAS a different color but a shade, like a lighter blue color when he was younger. (Based on Ninjamuffin/NM's recent AMA answers)

- BF owns a dog, not specific but definitely a large breed of dog that stays at home and is taken care of by his parents. He loves a lot of pets and animals, especially anything blue.

- It’s no surprise BF isn’t the smartest, but this comes from a place of putting on the “bad boy” act and being told he’d never make it anywhere in life so he never tried. BF is really a soft guy who deep down has a good heart and just wants to show his appreciation to the person (GF) who makes him feel okay knowing you don’t have to be the best.

- BF actually CAN speak, but chooses to be selectively mute. More so because he’s not the best when it comes to words, and he’s never felt the need to talk. Don’t expect much because like in Week 6, it’ll likely just be random noises he makes or his signature “beeps!” He still reacts, just with noises. (we ignore the logic of him singing it just sounds like beeps to us the players while everyone in universe perfectly understands) [just saw NM's recent AMA I GODDAMN CALLED IT LET'S GOOOO]

Girlfriend / GF

- GF unsurprisingly, has a very wealthy background and in turn family too. So she’s no stranger to most expensive things. This doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate anything BF gifts her, in fact she’s more than appreciative of anything if it comes from BF her love.

- May or may not be a demon like her parents but she doesn’t want to scare BF, and also has slight appearance anxieties about it so she chooses to hide it by staying in her “human” form. She's self conscious of appearing like a demon, and doesn't want to scare people away just based on her look.

- So yes GF can and will in fact beat you up, a lot more than BF if she really wanted to. Especially if she went into her demon form.

- Also not the brightest, due to her extravagant background she’s been so spoiled to the point where everything is handed to her on a silver plate. Which also means her intelligence. They're both himbo/bimbo dynamic I don’t make the rules sorry.

- Actually really good at singing herself too, she’s a bit more wonky with rapping but she’s still good. Ties into the fact GF is the first to teach you how to rap/sing in the tutorial. If she really wanted to, she would destroy BF in a singing battle.

- Kinda aloof and can be apathetic, but more in the sense of “oh cool" instead of a "not caring" feeling way. Like moving on from something that was most definitely not cool like oh my god does that monster with bloody human teeth have a lemon for a head-

- Absolutely adores the large height difference between her and BF. She loves picking BF up suddenly and swinging him around. It’s cute and funny to her. (BF likes the height difference dynamic too but he'd never admit it)

Pico

- Pico never went to college nor finished, instead he takes up jobs from around the city as a mercenary. He's so skilled to the point it pays well enough he doesn't really need a job. He owns a small apartment.

- He likes spending time when he's not on the job, around BF and GF but this is more so at a distance. He does hang out with them, but don't expect him to show up automatically by their side. Like maybe once a week.

- Despite his original job to kill BF, Pico is very protective of BF and looks out for him albeit distantly. He knows BF can handle himself, but he will risk jumping into a situation if BF needs help. ONLY when he needs help.

- Pico still spends time with Nene and Darnell, but this is more so as an acquaintance thing. They're still friends, but all three of their jobs (as assassin and mercs) make things kind of awkward and distance from one another.

- Pico has a lot of untreated trauma, whether that be PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD, etc, a lot of it is very untreated. While Pico is aware he has some mental health disorders he's not aware of ALL of them. He frankly doesn't care nor does he really feel like dedicating the time to properly help himself, which stems from his upbringing in his childhood, "deal with it" attitude back then. He doesn't think it's a big deal, even though deep down he knows he should seek help. Especially after hanging out with BF and GF who, unsurprisingly, are (relatively) normal in the head unlike his friends Nene and Darnell. His disorders disrupt his everyday life and living routine, he can have a lot of very bad days.

- Pico is a wannabe DJ, he likes to sing and rap but prefers the latter and likes listening to music more rather than doing it itself. When he was a kid he liked BF for his passion for singing and rapping, and admired him in a way.

- BF and Pico went to the same elementary school, and were very much friends. After the events of Pico's School, Pico acted very different than how BF knew him, and somewhere along that path BF and Pico decided to date each other when they were in middle school (at 13-14). This was very much a hasty decision and didn't end well. Pico was the one to break things off due to knowing he couldn't handle the responsibility of another person, especially in a relationship. He had too much on his plate already from the trauma that still haunted him, and also was around the time Pico told BF he would be getting homeschooled instead after many years of decision with Pico's parents. It was best to end things before they'd spiral and get worse.

- While BF was heartbroken, he knew it was for the better even if he was upset for quite a bit. After Pico became homeschooled and left middle school, BF noticeably became more quiet until he'd meet GF near the beginning of high school. Pico and BF tried to keep in contact, but eventually naturally just fell out of touch with each other, both too busy with their own lives now. Pico never really resolved his whole feelings issues, which still show up when he'd meet BF years later again but knows those feelings are best left behind.

- While Pico was very surprised and shocked to see BF again despite being commissioned to kill BF, BF himself was too busy being caught up in seeing an old friend again. Whether that be BF was either too dumb to realize he was being killed or because he was genuinely very happy to see his old friend again, the two had a small reconcile after so many years and decided to rap for old time's sake.

#fnf #friday night funkin #fnf pico #fnf boyfriend #fnf girlfriend #idk how else to tag the rest and I’m too lazy to look it up so those yup #I just thought this list would be fun to make :]#picos school #this is a really long post im so sorry to any poor soul who actually read all of this #also i just read through a lot of NM's answers in his recent AMA and one of them has ruined me dhmu going dark

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pleasestophoney · 3 years

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Reclaim the Stars Part 2 of ?

Carina Smyth Barbossa x Fem!Reader Mini Series

Word Count: 979

Tagging: @starchild-of-the-sea

Henry felt shattered. Carina was gone. She ran away from him.

For one shining moment everything seemed perfect. He had his family and he had the love of his life. How could things be better?

It had all been overwhelming.

He had only ever seen his father twice in his entire life, and now Will was staying, staying forever. Elizabeth had always been an incredible mother, had always tried to be there for Henry, but she never knew how. As the Pirate King, she had certain responsibility that needed to be attended to, and balancing that with raising a child alone and trying to free her husband from an ancient curse was overwhelming to say the least. This meant that often, Henry had been kept under the care of any maid who could survive his shenanigans, but they never lasted long.

His life had always been a flurry of change, always shifting like the water his mother loved so much. He had tried to embrace it, tried to flow with the tide.

Maybe if he were like the sea his mother would stay. Maybe if her were like the sea he could be enough.

All of this pushed him to spend his life trying to save a man he knew he should love. The sea and its lore became Henry’s life. Then, the sea brought Henry to Carina. She was beautiful and witty and brilliant, and she stayed. She became his constant. She was there when his parets were not, and when he suddenly had both parents always smothering him with love and attention, she was there to anchor him.

He thought he might love her. But then she left.

His constant was gone, so he was going to bring it back.

Was it really so selfish to want someone to stay?

................................................................................................................................

Jack was frantic. Carina was gone. She ran away from him.

The girl had proven time and again how stubborn and independent she was, but he hadn’t expected this. He had thought she trusted him. Then again, why would she? When had he ever proved himself trustworthy?

He hadn’t planned on going back to the Turners’ island, hadn’t planned on visiting any of them. But his memories of Hector and Margaret haunted him. They had been so in love.

No matter how much Barbossa had denied it, Jack knew that he would have been an incredible father. After Margaret died, Hector had given up. Jack could only imagine what the family could've been, what they could've done. He had watched as Hector gave up his daughter; he had never expected to see the child again. But there was too much of Margaret's blood in the young girl. She was determined to find her father, and she did. She dedicated her whole life to finding him, and yet she lost him.

Maybe Jack felt partially responsible. He had known, and yet he hadn't told Carina of her relation to Barbossa. He could not deny the truth; both he and Hector were cowards. Still, it seemed unfair that Jack had to deal with the aftermath.

Clearly, he wasn't doing too well at fixing things. Carina had been missing for an entire month, and the only possible lead he had on her was an account from a dinky port town. Apparently, a female pirate had stormed into town, magically disappearing before the townsfolk could heroically arrest her.

Hopefully Jack could find her soon, and hopefully there was no actual magic involved. He was getting really tired of magical half dead people who wanted to kill him.

................................................................................................................................

Carina had found her home.

She didn't know how, but Y\n, that sweet, awkward girl had truly become her home.

“ I hope you are aware that I will not budge on this.”

Carina laughed. “ Oh, I am well aware. I wouldn’t dare to leave Ursa behind. I designated a whole basket for your furry little monster.” Y\n gasped, dramatically throwing her hand over her heart. “ How dare you suggest that Ursa is anything less than an angel. Look at her! You broke her little heart with your name calling!”

The cat in question did not in fact look heartbroken to Carina. Ursa hissed, feeling Carina’s gaze. Carina swallowed the urge to hiss back, instead returning her eyes to Y\n. The girl was staring at Ursa contemplatively.

“You really want to do this? Do you really believe that we can successfully commandeer an entire ship? Where would we go?”

Carina smiled, “ Anywhere! We would travel the sea, visiting all of the islands. If we find one we love, then we will stay!”

Y\n grinned briefly, then frowning, commented “You didn’t answer my first question. Are you positive that we could take charge of a ship? Just the two of us?”

“Three, with your demon cat. But yes, I am sure. Two able bodied people is all it takes, and we can stop by Tortuga to gather a crew if you want.”

Y\n remained silent for a moment. It was just long enough of a pause that Carina really thought about what this could mean. It wasn't as if he were proposing marriage; she had only known Y\n for one month. But this, this was serious. She was asking Y\n to abandon everything familiar to her so that she could seek out a life with Carina. Why would she even consider saying yes?

"Okay."

Carina blinked. " Okay? Wait... Okay! Do you really mean it?"

Y\n laughed, and Carina could have sworn the sound was pure sunshine. "Yes, I mean it! When do we start?"

Grinning, Carina caught Y\n's hands in her own. " Tomorrow, if that's what you wish. "

Carina knew that she was in far too deep, drowning in the way she felt, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She wasn't sure, but she thought she might be falling in love, and she felt giddy at the thought. But time would tell, and she was willing to wait millennia for Y\n.

A\n: I'm not very proud of this, but it's better than just sitting in the back of my head I guess? Also, I'm really sorry for not having very much Carina and Y\n in this one either.

#carina smyth x reader #carina barbossa #carina smyth barbossa #carina smyth #carina Smyth barbossa x reader #carina barbossa x reader #potc #pirates of the caribbean #henry turner #jack sparrow #elizabeth swann #will turner #hector barbossa #margaret smyth

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secret-engima · 3 years

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Lunafreya Nox Fleuret DoTF Characterization Rant

OKAY, ME RANT RAMBLING ON LUNA’S CHARACTERIZATION IN DAWN OF THE FUTURE IS A GO.

This is … likely going to get messy, but I’ll try to keep it at least moderately coherent. Lemme start by saying that- for the most part- I did actually enjoy Luna’s chap. I’ve been enjoying the book (kinda-sorta-mostly, I really liked Aranea’s chap at least) and I don’t think it’s like- a BAD book? Necessarily? But I feel like it is extremely telling in regards to how the characterization/lore is treated that my brain is automatically filing this thing under “fanfic that’s not my HC but is okay-ish” rather than “canon I will be gleefully tweaking as I please”. My brain is literally looking at this officially licensed book and equating it to fanfic. To fanfic that NEEDS EDITING.

With that out of the way, lemme attempt to summarize my (main) issues with Luna’s Characterization and then I’ll expand on them from there. Get ready for the salt.

1. Luna’s backstory is inconsistent. She herself states multiple times that Oracle training is grueling and involves both physical and mental trials as well as things like fasting for long periods of time WHILE doing said training, yet she is mostly treated like a well-meaning but overall pampered, naive princess who is only now being forced into hard circumstances and has to adapt accordingly. She is also treated like she doesn’t know “common people” that well and doesn’t know how to interact or pick up things like lies (????). A common example is how she treats Sol as trustworthy but reserved when according to Sol’s POV she is literally debating shooting Luna as a possible threat. And Luna supposedly doesn’t pick up on this danger. But we’ll get back to that.

2. Luna is characterized as being oblivious to how people outside Rich Oracle Circles live. That despite traveling all over the world she has never really seen it’s “ugly” sides because she’s always traveled in fancy guarded processions with the sick brought to her. Pretty sure the book specifically mentions at one point that she’s never “considered” what it would be like to be anything other than an Oracle. Admittedly this issue could go under number 1 or 3a but I’m putting it here because I’m salty.

3a. This and the next problem are heavily intertwined and, not going to lie, I could make an entire rant just about these two issues all by themselves, not just in Luna’s context. The first is that Luna is portrayed as not being able to make her own decisions, not even wanting to make her own decisions, until she is forced to or has her “eyes opened” by Sol, our jaded Long Night survivor character. The author treats Luna’s sense of duty as some form of social brainwashing she needs to “get over” and spoiler alert I hate it with every fiber of my being.

3b. Playing right off the whole “Luna is incapable of making her own decisions and that’s why she does her freaking job until someone ‘opens her eyes’” is the idea that Luna’s faith is a character flaw. Lemme reiterate. The story treats Luna’s faith. As a character flaw. Rather than the entire cornerstone to her character and one of the big reasons she’s as amazing as she is. Her faith is treated as foolish and shortsighted, something that has only survived for this long because it has never been challenged and, heads up, the rant I am going to go into on this one specific thing is going to be long and extremely salty.

Alright I think I’ve covered the basics. Starting from the top, BRING ON THE SALT.

…

1. Luna is pampered, well-meaning but naive and bad at reading ulterior motives of people.

….*slow, deep breath* Luna. The Oracle. Who became the youngest Oracle in history. Because her mother was murdered in front of her while her home was burned down and conquered by the people who then proceeded to rule her country, subvert her brother to their cause, and generally control and monitor every aspect of her life that they could. Luna, who was fully prepared to take a single suitcase and escape her own home and run off alone to get to Altissia and had to be stopped by her own brother (who you’ll note brought a bunch of soldiers with him, which indicates he did not expect a submissive response if he came alone).

This girl who was canonically physically abused as a child by a Niflheim officer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZHzBtIfpdg slow this down if you need to confirm, but she is grabbed and manhandled and hit by an adult man when she only looks to be twelve, around the age Tenebrae first fell), who has spent twelve years living under the rule of a nation that is not only aggressively atheist but has willfully attempted to kill one of the very beings she serves and openly plans to do so again. The woman who successfully survived the fall of Insomnia with only one magic-less glaive as her backup for most of the event, then evaded the search efforts of an entire empire with only her own wits, a dog, a Messenger who has only ever been shown to talk rather than fight, and the extremely grudging on-off help of her brother who works for said empire. All while waking up the Astrals and forging covenants that were slowly killing her from the strain, which is the exact thing the empire was trying to prevent her from doing. Then, when it became necessary to complete the last covenant, turned herself in to the very same empire that has imprisoned her since she was a child and has been actively hunting/trying to stop or kill her since Insomnia’s fall.

That girl. Is pampered. Is naive. Is bad at reading people and telling when they have ulterior motives or are lying.

Pull the other one. I’ll kick you.

But seriously, how are we supposed to believe this? Luna’s life post Tenebrae’s fall to Niflheim is only pampered in the sense that she was given fancy clothes and fed regularly (outside the grueling fasting periods mentioned in this same book). She had no freedom, no privacy, her guards were all either men who wore the same uniform as those who killed her mother or were monsters infected with the very scourge she is sworn to purify. The Oracle is famous, is revered by the people. To keep the people on their side, the Empire would have flaunted her, would have taken her to all the shiny events. Luna would have had to dine with, converse with, even dance with the very same people who ordered and condoned the murder of her mother, her own imprisonment, and the brainwashing of her own brother to the enemy side. She would have been the epitome of a bird in a gilded cage or a dog on a silk leash and humans are not meant to live like that.

Am I really expected to think she survived a situation that oppressive, that toxic, that actively hurtful, for years by being naive and bad at reading people? Am I really expected to believe that she cannot tell when people are out to use her or hurt her or are lying to her? Am I really expected to believe that she is pampered and doesn’t have, at the very least, PTSD from seeing her mother murdered and her brother join the very people who did it, let alone everything else that would have followed over those years?

Really?

Luna didn’t have a pampered life. She suffered abuse. Longterm emotional abuse, likely sporadic physical abuse until she learned to play along well enough to escape such punishments, and almost certainly gaslighting (again: religious leader being held captive by an aggressively atheist nation that wants to kill the pantheon this religious leader communes with).

Luna would have learned to navigate the canonically cutthroat politics of Niflheim while being at best an outsider and at worst a target because of her beliefs, her nationality, and her loyalties to the Lucians (nobody was surprised when Luna went on the run. Nobody. Her continued devotion and loyalty to the Lucians -Niflheim’s enemy- was absolutely a well known factor). She would have learned to pick truth from lie and when to pretend she hadn’t noticed in order to survive. She would have lived twelve years knowing that any mistakes or misplaced moments of trust would be paid for in either her suffering of the suffering of the people close to her like her servants, or just the citizens of Tenebrae in general.

And none of this is taking into account her Oracle training, which the book does not elaborate on but repeatedly states was hard and grueling and she completed it years earlier than any Oracle in history.

There are a lot of words I would use to describe Luna, but pampered and naive are not among them.

…

2. Luna is oblivious to how people outside her rich circles live and has never considered being anything else but an Oracle until Sol specifically points it out.

The book states that she mostly travels in procession (ie, with tons of servants to serve her every need and bodyguards to keep the masses at bay) so clearly she can’t go anywhere too dangerous, otherwise her servants wouldn’t be able to come. Right? Oh boy where do I start with this.

I know! Let’s start with the fact that Luna canonically maintains the blessings on Havens! You know those things. They’re your only safe place to camp at night and they can be found in all sorts of nifty locations like the middle of the wilderness where cars can’t go, chocobos won’t go, packs of wild animals will literally leap out of the bushes to eat you (Voretooth packs can get up to twelve or more members all trying to eat you at once, fun fact), and poor choice in clothes will lead to broken ankles at best? The ones that can be found in the depths of locations so dangerous that even the Hunters are leary of going inside and are actively forbidden from approaching unless they are a very high rank?

Off the top of my head some of the Havens that come to mind is the one in the middle of Malmalam thicket, the top of an active volcano, multiple spots in the middle of the voretooth and coeurl infested desert, two up in Vesperpool aka the home of all demon crocodiles and flocks of cockatrice that are bigger than the average car and can literally turn you into stone if you aren’t careful.

Yeah those places. She maintains those. Depending on how often Havens need to be maintained and if the weather/nature shortens that time then she might also have to periodically enter the dungeons Noctis explores in game that also have Havens hidden inside where it is always dark all the time and infested with daemons.

The book also states that the sick (who are highly infectious and not supposed to be touched by people who can’t heal the scourge and in the later stages of sickness become extremely violent and prone to biting in order to infect other people) are … brought to her…

By whom? Exactly?

Moving on from that giant and obvious plot hole to the “never seen or considered other lifestyles” bit: Luna has traveled literally all over the world. In her duties of healing the otherwise incurable she has gone all over Niflheim, Tenebrae, and Lucis. She has walked through the streets of cities filled with lights and glamor and stood on the dirt roads of towns so small they have to go to the next town an hour or more away to buy groceries or check their mailbox and who’s royal hotel suite is just a caravan with a new coat of paint and “welcome Oracle!” sign. Luna’s work is to cure the Starscourge, which is a disease that I can almost promise the rich don’t get. Because the rich and fancy do not risk their lives by going into daemon territory (Prompto, a middle class Insomnian, didn’t even know what wild animals would be like, you expect the rich and famous to be any better?).

The vast majority of Luna’s patients would be people like Dave the Hunter, or Sania the scientist who wades into the wilds. The truck drivers and the farmers and the electricians risking their lives to repair power lines in the middle of nowhere. She wouldn’t be going to cities except to talk to the refugees who fled there from the outside and thus picked up the Scourge. Her only two social circles would be Niflheim’s cutthroat nobility and the “unwashed masses” who come to her for healing. Guess which ones she’ll be more invested in getting to know on a personal/friendly basis and interacting with.

Of course Luna has interacted with and understands “common folk”. Luna is a caregiver, not just physically, but emotionally. She is beloved by the people because she is kind. That means she talks to them. More importantly, she listens. She has held the hands of the farmer as he begs her to heal him, because the harvest season is so close, and if he can’t work, if he dies, then what will become of his wife or the people his farm feeds? She has embraced the sobbing refugee mother as the other breaks down in gratitude for a child who’s skin is a healthy shade and who’s veins no longer bulge a sickly purple. She has met people who are not rich, but who are content. Who have lives that do not hinge on the razor thin dance of staying true to self and not exposing weakness to those who want to eat her alive. Who can laugh with their neighbors and kiss that nice boy down the street just for the fun of it, who can defy curfew to dance in the rain with the person they love and risk, at most, a lecture and a weekend grounding.

And no, they aren’t rich, no, they aren’t influential or powerful, but they are peaceful. They are happy.

Am I really expected to believe that Luna has not looked on these people’s lives from afar, listened to their rambles as they try to distract themselves from the sickness she is drawing from their veins, and not yearned to be the same? That she hasn’t thought over and over again about running away and being free from her gilded cage? That she doesn’t know anything about the lives of the people she heals even as she walks down their streets and steps into their houses so she can heal those who are too sick or too violent to be safely taken out of their room? That she has never thought about what life could be like if she wasn’t an Oracle as she watches the landscape roll by and walks through the wilderness to find the lonely farmsteads that the townsfolk tell her has sick children that cannot be let out of the shed for fear they will bite?

Setting all of that to one side, what human hasn’t thought of being someone else? What person on this planet, hasn’t looked at another person’s life that is so very different from their own and gone “huh, I wonder what that would be like” even if only for a moment before moving on and forgetting about it? Humans are creatures that dream by nature, that are curious by nature. To assume that Luna is not just because she gets to have the fancy dresses and servants is stupid.

…

3a: Luna is unable to make her own decisions and is only the dutiful Oracle because she doesn’t know any better and needs a “wiser” rebellious character to “open her eyes”.

Okay buckle up. I have tried to suppress the salt until now but over these last two points I don’t care. I will be salty. I will be sarcastic. I will be mean. I will reference Real World faiths (tho I’ll try to keep that to a minimum).

Both 3a and 3b are actually systemic issues in storytelling (particularly noticeable in movies/shows but maybe that’s because I’m pretty lucky with my book choices) that I despise with a passion. Specifically 3a relates to the chronic issue writers seem to have with characters not being allowed to be happy with their role in life. There’s this persistent thought, this narrative push, that if a character is following in the footsteps of their family, is entering the “traditional” profession that their parents (or grandparents, or entire generations of predecessors) have been in before them then they must be unhappy with their lot in life. That this is clearly the character being “repressed” and that if they are content then they are either a bad guy (see: every antagonist from a proud military family or every ruler who thinks they are better than everyone because of bloodline ever) or they are just blind to their own unhappiness.

Now, the basic idea of “character discovers they are unhappy in current role and seeks a new one” can actually be done really well. But those stories that do it well have a lot of internal conflict, a lot of self-reflection and searching and choosing to take a new path after really giving it some thought. Maybe they have help along the way, or encouragement, or another character to show that it’s possible by example and that’s okay.

What is not okay is infantilizing a strong, intelligent character by saying “oh it just never occurred to them until they are told that they are unhappy by this much more worldly wise character and then they went and did it”. That is not okay. It not only trivializes the efforts of every real person who has proudly followed in a parent’s footsteps to become something (a doctor, a missionary, a soldier, an actor, even an electrician, pick a life goal and I promise someone has been inspired to do that by their parent being one before them) but it also takes an otherwise strong, dedicated character and implies that they are too stupid to think for themselves or have any free will until the plot and a Shinier Character demands it.

Lunafreya Nox Fleuret is an Oracle, as her mother was before her, and her mother before her, and all the way back two thousand years to the very first Oracle we see in canon. Possibly back even farther, depending on if any of Aera’s ancestors were Oracles too. That isn’t a suffocating tradition, that is a heritage, that is a culture, that is a necessary, life-saving service that canon proves literally kept the world from falling into eternal darkness (Luna was the last Oracle, the day after she dies is literally the last time we players see sunlight until the end of the game when Noctis dies to restore it). Luna is not stupid or repressed for following in those footsteps, she is breathtakingly strong for shouldering her heritage as the Last Oracle with pride even when the forces controlling every other aspect of her life want her to be ashamed of it and give it up.

The empire that took over her home when she was twelve are actively anti-magic and anti-Astral. Luna is someone who speaks to the Astrals and is born with a magic that can heal the very sickness they want to weaponize. They couldn’t outright forbid her from training to be the next Oracle because that would cause the people to riot, but they could and absolutely would try to make her give up in any way they could. They would have insulted her, demeaned her, hurt her, and imprisoned her. They wouldn’t have wanted a “real” Oracle, they would have wanted a puppet who said pretty promises and then did nothing to stop them.

It would have been so easy for Luna to go down the same path her brother did. To give in to the empire and it’s propaganda that she would have been forced to listen to every single day of her life for twelve whole years. It would have made her life so much easier to be a puppet Oracle who didn’t have to walk miles through the wilderness to maintain Havens, or defy the empire by maintaining loyalty to Lucis, or leave her manor home to heal the sick that could not come to her themselves. As a puppet Oracle she could have stayed in the Manor and only treated cases that could reach her doors and were vetted by the empire. She could have eaten the finest foods and worn the best dresses and never had to worry about a pack of hungry Voretooths or a rogue Behemoth tearing her apart. Most of all, Niflheim wouldn’t have been nearly as oppressive or violent. They would have gladly given her the illusion of freedom and control as long as she played along rather than been fully willing and prepared to run into the jungle with a suitcase just to escape as seen in the movie.

Luna was not blindly fitting into a mold and she was not and has never been incapable of making a decision. The fact that she shows up in canon as a strong, dedicated woman who is in control of her emotions and not afraid to face down a giant sea monster with the power to summon tidal waves with just her words and a glorified pointy stick proves that. The idea that she needs a “wiser” character to come alongside her and “free her” from her own duties is not only stupid, it undermines one of the key things that makes Luna such a strong character despite her relative lack of screentime.

Furthermore, canonically, one of Luna’s main reasons for sticking with her duty as Oracle isn’t because it’s tradition, it’s because of what Niflheim did. In the Kingsglaive movie, when Nyx Ulric is getting angry at Luna for doing really reckless, life-threatening things, she tells him quote:

“I do not fear death. What I fear is doing nothing and losing everything.”

That’s not a woman who is blindly following a path laid out for her. That is a woman who is desperately, furiously fighting against the people who killed her mother in front of her the best way she can: by being the Oracle they cannot stand for her to be.

But sure. Luna is only the Oracle because she doesn’t know better and it never occurred to her to be anything else until some jaded kid with a shotgun made a snide comment about it.

3b: Luna’s faith is a character flaw that has only survived this long because it wasn’t challenged by a worldly wise character who knows better.

Not going to lie but words cannot express how much I hate this trope. This is another thing that shows up a lot in television/movies but also in books too, and that is that a character is not allowed to have a faith in something/religion unless they are 1. Foolish, 2. Brainwashed/tricked into it, 3. A crazy fanatic, or 4. It’s a character flaw they have to overcome by becoming more jaded and atheist and hateful.

Because … that’s not how it works. There are- millions (billions) of people all over the real world who are intelligent, well educated, thoughtful, kind, and religious. And no I’m not just talking about Christianity (tho I am Christian so you can see why this trope grinds my gears so hard). There’s Hinduism, there’s Islam, there’s Buddhism, there’s Judaism, there’s so many faiths and belief systems okay. And no we don’t tend to play well with each other or accept the validity of the others but that doesn’t mean we’re fanatics or brainwashed or stupid. And no we really don’t appreciate it when media introduces a character who follows a religion (even fictional ones!) only to make them an antagonist or rip it away from them in the name of “improving their character”. Just like every other cultural group ever who really doesn’t like their heritage and culture being used as a butt of jokes or is turned into a caricature or used as the basis for the antagonist being Evil™.

But no. We can’t possibly have a character who’s faith makes them strong or gives them comfort in times of hardship unless they are deluded. We can’t possibly have a character who is both intelligent and faithful. We can’t possibly show a character who is breathtakingly courageous and selfless as well as religious unless we point at their faith and go oh look a horrible character flaw to overcome by having non-believer characters open their eyes via sarcastic commentary.

And look. Look. I am well aware that the plot of Dawn of the Future has Bahamut as the Bad Guy™. I am fully aware of that. But if you want to be purely honest and technical, that doesn’t invalidate Luna’s faith because (spoilers) the other Astrals fight Bahamut to save the world. They hear her cries and the come to fight on behalf of Lucis and Noctis and all of Eos and they kill Bahamut even when that ensures their own destruction.

But we’re not actually here to talk about whether the Astrals deserve Luna’s faith in them, we’re here to talk about why insisting Luna’s faith is, by nature of being a faith, treated like a flaw and why it is treated like something so weak it only survived to this point because Luna didn’t face anything “bad” enough to “snap her out of it”.

Spoiler alert, it’s not a flaw and it’s not weak.

Going back to something I have mentioned several times already: Niflheim is an empire run by people who actively want to kill the very beings most of the planetary population worships. The very same people in charge of Luna’s life for twelve years, starting from when she was twelve and very emotionally vulnerable and traumatized, hate the Astrals. I repeat: They hate the Astrals. They have devised weapons to try (and spectacularly fail) to kill them. Half their continent is a winter nightmare-land because they tried to kill Shiva the Glacian and she went “haha, nice try, lemme leave a fake corpse here that constantly pumps out freezing temperatures and blizzards”.

Am I seriously, honestly, supposed to believe that these people didn’t try to tear down her faith at every single opportunity? That Ravus wouldn’t have tried to bully and cajole and harass her into abandoning her faith because he knew that her faith was what kept her walking her chosen path as Oracle and that said path was destined to kill her? Am I seriously supposed to believe that Luna didn’t spend those twelve years having to sit there and bite her tongue to keep from raging at these cutthroat nobles as they gloated and sneered and spat on the names of the Astrals who gave Luna the very magic she uses to heal those in need?

Luna never needed Sol to come along and say “what have the Astrals ever done for you?” because I promise that she’s heard some variation of that exact phrase from everyone in her life. From her own brother to the Emperor himself she has heard some form of this question, this taunt. In the Kingsglaive movie, General Glauca even says something to the order of, “To what god do you pray? The gods do not listen.” Right before he kidnaps her.

Luna’s faith isn’t something blind, and it is not a flaw. It is a cornerstone of her character. Luna’s faith is a bloody, stubborn, tenacious thing that she has nurtured and shored up and been steadied by through twelve years of emotional abuse and physical imprisonment. Luna’s faith is an unshakeable thing that can only come from long nights spent crying into the silent dark of the room and asking “is this real? Am I right? Should I give up? This hurts so much, what do I do?” and finding the answer to be “yes this is real. Yes I am right. No, I won’t give up even though it kills me. Yes it hurts, but what I believe in is stronger than this pain.”

Faith is not optimism and it is not fanaticism. Optimism can be broken by hardship and fanaticism has no room for selfless kindness or acceptance of other people not being as devoted as they are. Faith is personal. Faith is a bedrock, and maybe it’s a bedrock that makes no sense to people on the outside, but it is a bedrock and it can make mountains move.

Just as Luna proves when she runs rings around an Empire to win the respect and cooperation of Titan and of Ramuh, to stand amid the rain and tell an enraged TideMother that “it is in mercy that men offer praise, and in shedding grace that the gods solicit worship” and not flinch because she knows she is right.

Luna’s faith is a fierce, scarred thing that has taken every kind of suppression and propaganda and poison the empire could throw at it and kept on going.

Furthermore. Luna’s faith is treated by Sol as something empty. Because when did the Astrals ever help her or comfort her or save her?

I can answer that. They helped her when they gave her Umbra and Pryna, who kept her company through her life and gave her a way to talk to Noctis. A way to reach out to a person who was not either imperial, warped by imperial propaganda, or too afraid to speak out against the empire for fear of dying. They comforted her when Gentiana became a second mother for Luna after the death of Queen Sylva. A physical shoulder to cry on, a sounding board to bounce fears off of, a well of advice when it was asked of her, a rock to retreat to when Ravus turned away from her and the empire continued to control as much of her life as they could.

Gentiana, who is really Shiva in disguise, has been with Luna since she was a small child.

One of the Astrals themselves has been with Luna for almost her entire life. Has guided her, has comforted her, has led her to safety as she fled Insomnia’s ruins.

Shiva had no reason to do that. The Oracles have done their duty since the time of Aera without her help or company. Shiva didn’t have to stay. She didn’t have to linger and offer comfort and become Luna’s friend. She didn’t have to listen to the last words of a scared young woman who wanted only to see her fiancé one last time and promise to carry them to Noctis in the event of her death. Shiva didn’t have to cry on behalf of Luna. Shiva didn’t have to help Luna remember what it was like to be an ordinary woman (“Yet others need not hide their grief. Is she [Luna] so different from them?”), and in fact, if Shiva had played up to most of the stereotypes, she would have done the opposite and done her hardest to suppress any part of Luna’s personality that wasn’t her Oracle duties.

But she did. Shiva was there, and she remembered. Shiva loved and we as a fandom may yell at the Astrals a lot for not doing more to take care of the Starscourge, but of all of them Shiva gave the most because she came down and she lived, and walked, and loved this Oracle, this scared child, this frightened, weary woman who couldn’t even turn to her own family for comfort. Shiva’s husband Ifrit was betrayed by humankind and yet Shiva still defended them, she kills Ifrit to protect the man (the king) that Luna loved.

And at the end of the game, in those final moments outside the Citadel, when it’s just Noctis and his Retinue against all of Ardyn’s armies of daemons, when Luna calls out to these Astrals whom she has remained faithful to her entire life, even unto her death…

They answer.

Every. Last. Astral. Who is not corrupted like Ifrit, comes down at her prayer and fights. Even Leviathan who’s only voiced lines are screaming wrath against the humanity that forgot her, even Bahamut who otherwise remains aloof in his plane of magic beyond the concerns of the mortal world. Luna calls, and they answer her.

“What have the Astrals ever done for her” indeed.

Luna’s faith is a driving force of her character, it is irrevocably intertwined with her duty, with her choices, with her desire to help people and save the world even if it costs her own life, and in the end her faith is rewarded. Not in the way we want for her, because we love the ultimate happy endings where everyone lives and nobody dies. But Final Fantasy XV was never a story about happy endings. It was a story about coming of age, and tragedy, and sacrifice. Of holding onto hope against all opposition, and of having faith that someday the dawn will return, even if bringing about that dawn requires personal sacrifice.

…

Okay this is over 5k words, I’m tired, and I’m extremely salty so I can’t really figure out how to wrap this up but there we go, my salty personal rant about why I think Dawn of the Future messed up some really critical parts of Luna’s characterization and why it’s Really Bad that they messed up those specific things.

Also I kinda despise them making Bahamut the bad guy in DotF because yes he’s a jerk and yes he really could have done the whole Prophecy thing a ton better, but in the original FFXV one of the things that made the game so heartbreakingly tragic to me is that most of the characters involved weren’t pure evil. They could be greedy, and flawed, and crazy, but in the end the source of the problem was too big to pin on one character.

Do you pin the entire thing on the god of war for his mistakes in trying to bring about peace, or the god of fire for trying to destroy humanity and no longer being there to do his job and purify the plague? Do you blame the Astrals for their hubris or humanity for theirs, because Ifrit loved humanity until they betrayed him so deeply he went mad? Do you hate Ardyn for causing the Long Night or pity him for being a victim of Somnus’s greed? Can you blame Somnus for everything even though the Scourge was going on long before him and kept spreading long after he sealed Ardyn away? The whole thing is a tragedy because at this point it’s a problem too big to fix without someone paying a price too heavy and we hate that because the characters who pay that price are the ones we grow to love over the game.

But that is an entirely different rant for an entirely different day when I am not so tired and my hands no longer hurt from writing this much in one sitting. Thank you and good night.

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kazimakuwabara · 3 years

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A Name (part 6)

Previous chapter can be found HERE

Kurama sat back down in his seat, and sagged into it with a sigh.

“It is long... but I will try to explain the last mission we had together,” Kurama said, his voice uncertain, “If there are parts you don’t understand... just ask, and I’ll explain it best I can.”

“If I’ve been forced to accept that demons are real, that people can have magical powers, and that there’s a girl who cries jewellery... I think I can handle whatever you’re about to tell me,” Kuwabara said, shrugging his shoulder.

Shrugging, seemed to have become his favorite gesture. Though according to Shizuru, he had been much louder and expressive before. The person he was now was a little quieter, and more reserved. She did say he had a bit more quick-witted sass in him though, and had smiled when she told him.

Kurama for his part, laughed, looking surprised by Kuwabara’s tone, “I guess you’ve had to accept a lot!”

“It’d be easier to accept it easier, if I could still do the things that people say I can do, but as far as I know...” Kuwabara waved a hand in the air, “I’m just normal.”

“You’re never normal,” Kurama said with clear affection. He smiled, straightened his back and began to speak.

“There was a demon woman name Dilandu. She had been captured and sold into slavery by a human with far too much money. Her race of demon... when they suffered enough, they went through a drastic and painful shedding of their hair, which was more like fur. The quality was... above anything else in the normal fur trade, and could be sold for an exorbitant amount of money.

“She was one of many, but when freed... was the only survivors. She had been a child when taken, and only knew her torturers. They were other demons, and so she mistakenly blamed them for her suffering... when really they were slaves themselves. The true people, the true people she should have been mad at...”

“It was humans,” Kuwabara said regretfully, his face setting in a frown. “Ironic we get called humans if we’re capable of being such monsters.”

“Demon or human, it doesn’t matter who, anyone can be a monster,” Kurama mused seriously, “If anything can be taught from what I’ve seen, it’s that the rich are the monsters in any culture, any race, any species.”

Kuwabara nodded, and after a heavy pause, Kurama continued speaking.

“Dilandu when freed, was awarded a sum of money by the spirit world, and offered a chance for a better life and recovery. She accepted all help... but therapy. She used the resources she received to find out about two objects. Áine’s Sovereign blade, and a small green mirror, known as The Path.

“The Path, at the cost of years of your life, could show you the steps you needed to achieve in order to reach whatever goal you had. Áine‘s blade is rumored by some, to belong to a Goddess. Wielding this weapon gives one the right to rule or choose who shall rule.

“When the mirror is shattered by the blade, the right to “rule,” and the Path’s abilities, change into a wish. If you offer all of yourself to the mirror, and then cut them down with the blade you can get a wish. And Dilandu, had a wish.”

At the mention of mirror, Kurama kept looking at Kuwabara as if he kept expecting him to say or ask about something. When Kuwabara didn’t, Kurama deflated a little, and then added, “The Path is one of three mirrors that can grant wishes at the cost of life force, Although the Path is considered a little more dangerous due the fact it has an evolution when combined with something else.”

Kuwabara held up a hand as he absorbed this rush of information. Kurama remained quiet, but fidgeted in his seat. Kuwabara shook his head. This was so much

“Okay... that was a lot. But this Goddess Áine, is she... was she real? Like Koenma?” Kuwabara asked.

Kurama smiled a little wistfully, “All stories such of these are based in some truth. From my understanding, her story is a true one, and a sad one. She was not so much a Goddess, as she was a young skilled blacksmith who was ravaged, and stolen from. Despite the atrocities done to her, she stole her blade back, and took her revenge against the one who had hurt her, the king of her land.

“After she killed him, she presented her blade to who she believed to be the rightful ruler... and died. She was honored by... things we don’t, and by we I mean researchers, and even spirit world--that even they don’t understand, and the blade became... gifted. Magical, might be a better term,” Kurama was gesturing now his green eyes getting lost in thought. “The swords could do extraordinary things, and then when paired with the mirror, could grant a wish.”

Idly Kuwabara wondered if Kurama was a form of scholar. He seemed exceedingly intelligent and-

“I’d often dreamed of stealing the Áine Sovereign blade for myself... the legend alone makes it an item worth snatching up. And I imagine the resell I would get on it would have been great!” Kurama sighed, startling Kuwabara so bad, Kuwabara’s mouth fell open.

Kurama laughed at Kuwabara’s expression, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and rather than explaining his previous comment, cleared his throat, and began anew, “But as I was saying... the blade seemed to be blessed. On it’s own it was a decent weapon. Tremendously usefull with a will of it’s own for vengeance and bloodshed. If it accepted the user as it’s owner, it was said to be even greater, turning into a sword of light. According the legend, the sword has never accepted an owner.”

“Do you know how the sword accepts someone?” Kuwabara interrupted.

Kurama shook his head, “I don’t... But, as I was saying, while the Áine Sovereign blade is actually useful, the mirror is more of a monkey’s paw. It does give you something, but of course at a high price. And that cost of course is much worse when paired with the sword. But it’s not just a simple death.”

“You are destroyed. You cease to be, and are forgotten. There is no where you go, not hell, heaven, spirit world, limbo... no where. You’re just... gone. The world changes to fit the wisher’s desire, and the wisher is just gone. The Path, once destroyed, immediately reforms, and can be used again if someone happens to be nearby. I could only imagine what would happen if a cult got a hold of these items. Because of the danger of The Path, it is kept locked up in Spirit World.”

“Did they not keep the sword as well?” Kuwabara asked, a brow cocked in confusion.

Kurama smiled at Kuwabara, a tired and aggravated, ‘I know!’ expression written on his face.

“The sword,” Kurama explained, “Was kept by the ruler Áine had chosen before her death. Or ascension into Goddess hood, whatever may be the case. It traveled down the line, and remained in the country of Ireland, the origin of this story. Or at least, pieces and parts.”

Kuwabara was slightly confused, and was starting to get a headache. This was a lot of lore to absorb. “Alright, cool ass lore besides... Dilandu actually went out to get these items, and I’m guessing got them? Or got close?”

Kurama nodded, “She learned of them, and decided it was worth stealing these items to get her wish.”

“And what was her wish?” Kuwabara asked, head really throbbing.

“That all demons died,” Kurama answered seriously, his expression grim as he stared at Kuwabara’s face, “We... You, me, Hiei, and Yusuke reached her just as she destroyed The Path. The affects... were immediate.”

Kuwabara felt a chill crawl up his spine. “Immediate?”

“Dilandu began to unravel, slowly unwinding like string as she made her wish. It was not a fast process. As she fell to pieces, the air began to suck out of my lungs, and an unbearable pain swept through me. The same seemed to happen to Yusuke, and Hiei. We were crippled by the pain, and fading fast. Hiei and I kept to our feet for several minutes but... Yusuke, who was already injured, fell down first... and I can’t confirm this... but I think when he hit the ground, he was already dead.”

Kurama looked away, looking pained to be explaining this to Kuwabara.

Kuwabara hadn’t properly met Yusuke yet. To his understanding, Yusuke was the one who violently grabbed him when he first woke up and asked who everyone was.

Kuwabara’s head hurt, and suddenly felt violently sick.

“I believe I passed soon after... Hiei was shouting at you before I went-”

But Kuwabara did not hear the rest of Kurama’s story.

He stood up, nausea crawling up his stomach and into his throat. He lurched as if to vomit, and then a dizziness swept through him, and he broke out in a cold sweat. He pitched forward, looking to steady himself, but only caught the edge of the table. It sent him and the table off balance, ad he fell, Kurama crying out his name as Kuwabara landed painfully on his bad arm, the table crashing with him.

As his vision exploded in white, he remembered very clearly of someone with slicked black hair looking back at him. He was a little dirty, and bleeding from battle, but the wounds weren’t that serious. Or at least they shouldn’t have been. But his brown eyes, while fixed on Kuwabara, slowly dulled. The light leaving his eyes in a heartbreaking speed.

Kuwabara heard himself suck in a painful breath, and then heard a shrill laughter. Distantly, Kurama and Shizuru were shouting his name, and his arm was throbbing with pain while he struggled to latch onto something stable to pull him out of this memory.

The white pain faded away, ad then it went blessedly dark.

#kazi fanfic #KuwabaraBirthdayWeek #yyh #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara #i don't think i'll finish this in a week XD #ah my plans #torture mention #slavery mention #rape mention #None of those things happen to Kuwabara so #don't freak?

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residentlesbrarian · 3 years

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The Fourth Book I Read In the Dark: Of Expectations and Other Relatabilities

Of Gryphons and Other Monsters by Shannon McGee

Hey, guys, sooooo...this is aaaawwwkward. I wrote 95% of this review when I wrote the other Books I Read in the Dark series for the blog, but the ADHD hit me and COVID was still you know...a thing! So I am gonna post this review, finished of course, OH, but also pay extra close attention to the conclusion alright! Hmm...this is a bit like a time capsule...here are my concentrated thoughts from 6 months ago while I was slightly delirious on books and darkness. So go forth and uh yeah this one is...you can just feel the feral “I haven’t had access to proper internet so I’ve been curled in the corner like Gollum with my books” energy coming off it so...enjoy?

Okay, so yeah, I really didn’t have a reason to end my last review that way I just wanted to, so sue me for injecting a little excitement into a series of posts about me literally sitting in my house reading nonstop for 2 ½ days, my reviews my rules. Back to manufacturing my own excitement shall we!

It’s Day 2! I’ve just finished my last library book, whatever will I do! I could always reread The Neverending Story for the 1,273rd time, but I have a need. A need for GAY! I rack my brain, there has to be a solution. My town is without power, my local library won’t be open, but then it hits me. It’s so simple! It’s meant to be really! Like the universe knew this was coming and it made sure I was prepared! Like a prepper stockpiling mental SPAM for my stimulus needing ADHD riddled brain! I have an entire shelf of books that I haven’t read yet! Way back in Clexacon 2019 my best friend (Lookin at you @justalifelongphase) gave me way too much money from missed birthdays and Christmases all at once before the con started because the world has deemed it impossible for us to live geographically close to one another. Anyway, I went a little book-buying-crazy and have not had the time or opportunity to read any of them since then. Their time has finally come!

I figured after going full whimsy with The Lost Coast and sci-fi superhero with Dreadnought and Sovereign why not take a dip into more traditional fantasy, also this one was first in line on the shelf, yay for not having to actually make a decision! No more dawdling, let's get right into the review!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Taryn always loves and hates gryphon season. She finds the lesser gryphons more cute than anything but the ever present fear that a greater gryphon might be just out of sight is terrifying, and this gryphon season proves to be the one that will change her and her families lives forever! Just let a girl herd her sheep in peace!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

I genuinely enjoyed this book. It took me a bit longer to get through it than the others, but I think that was a combination of three things: A. I was starting to feel the fatigue of reading so much in such a short amount of time. B. Our local Wal Mart had power restored on Day 3 and our entire household went on a trip to buy non-perishable food stuffs and I was like a solitary confinement prisoner being let out into the yard for the first time in months when my phone picked up a wifi signal and it was a bit hard to get back into the swing of reading after talking to other humans, even virtually, that weren’t imaginary or in my head. C. Our power was finally restored on the afternoon of Day 3 so yet again I was inundated with the draw of technology and all of my friend-os I hadn’t talked to, but the book had drawn me in enough I did the most unmillienial thing and left my phone in a different room to charge while I finished this book before going back to the land of technology and interwebs. That should tell you something.

McGee was able to write this story in a way that pulls you in so you care about what happens to these characters and this little mountain town. You learn just enough about the world to understand where they fit within the overall weave of it, but you aren’t given a Tolkein-esc dissertation on the world lore. I felt the worries and the fears. I was concerned when the routines had to change. I mean she made me care about the freaking sheep! Sheep, people! One of the reasons I think this works so well is we are so firmly rooted in the head of our protagonist, Taryn. Imma use that lovely bridge I just built to skip right on over the plot section of the review to get to the characters first, don’t worry we’ll circle back round to the plot. I always do, but I just wanna talk about my newest set of brain babies.

Taryn is a character that, if the title of this post is anything to go by, I found very very relatable. Now I know relatability can be pretty subjective, some people can latch onto something with the all consuming, “It me!” While others just stare on dead eyed not understanding the appeal. I feel like Taryn could be that kind of protagonist. You are either going to really relate to her or you won’t understand where she is coming from at all. I obviously fall in the former category. I was the quintessential middle child, still am really, though my relationship with my parents has shifted now that I’m an adult. More mutual respect and friendship than parent to child. I always did my best to pick up the slack, if ever there was any, and just tried my best to be as little of a burden as possible to my parents. I see so much of that aspect of myself in Taryn and how she sees her place at the farm and even in the town, she has her place and her role, but those expectations are heavy. One of those expectations being that she will inevitably get married and help take over the farm from her parents and have kids to continue the line. The fact she finds the lesser gryphons that flock near the farm far cuter than any of the local boys that she will eventually have to choose from to fulfill that inevitable expectation is just...sad at best and down right tragic at worst. And her family doesn’t help matters either. They won’t let her forget that she will have to settle down with one of these local boys, a boy who would make a good husband and take good care of her and the farm. She knows that, logically, but she also wants to be in love, like her parents, and she just doesn’t feel like that for any of the boys in town. She doesn’t know how to make those two things line up. It’s a struggle between her head, the obligation of what she has to do, and her heart, what she really wants for her future, to be happy in doing what she has to do. Wow, I went off a little bit there, but this was my long winded way of saying I have never read a protagonist that really captured the utter confusion of being raised in a heteronormative environment without it being drenched in internalized homophobia and fear. Protagonists like this seem to always know something is off but just don’t have the words for it so they just hide it because they know it’s “different” and out of the norm, but Taryn is just livin’ her sheep herding life and ain’t got no time for these boy crazy fools. She knows her mom wants her to find a good boy to court her so she can marry someday but she’s still young. She’ll think about that tomorrow, and she just repeats that ad infinitum. The thought that maybe she doesn’t fancy any of the boys because well...girls...never even occurred to her. It's not how things are done in this small mountain town, not because of homophobia reasons, but just stubborn tradition reasons. We are even told there is a gay couple living in town who are staples in the overall dynamics in town, instrumental even, but the idea of having a lineage, being able to pass your land down is so ingrained no wonder poor Taryn was so in the dark about her own probable gayness till it slapped her in the face. As someone who was raised in a medium sized Oklahoma town...girl I feel you. I was 22 and in the middle of Appalacia, way up in the mountains for college when my gay awakening popped up and said “Hello!” Everything that never quite made sense in my life came into perfect clarity. Not quite what happened with Taryn, but the arrival of Aella surely helped, as pretty girls are want to do. Oh look a segue, good, cause I could talk about Taryn for literal hours and I’ve already gabbed about her too much for this review.

Aella, you smooth motherfucker. Like I wish I could possess a quarter of the smoothness that you do. Like I’m lucky to string sentences together around a pretty girl, but here you are just strutting about being the smoothest of smooth. Honestly, I just...I can’t with you Aella. On a serious note though Aella is a character that served as showing Taryn a glimpse at the world beyond her small mountain town, as much as she had no desire to leave, unlike her brother. Nope, sit down, we’ll get to you, Michael! Oh, we’ll get to you. She’s traveled and has stories from all over and she is fairly open about the fact that she only likes girls, but she doesn’t have land, responsibilities, and a family line to continue. She just gets to live her life the way she choses. And y’all know I am a sap for the hard dark characters that are totally softies underneath that rough exterior. I think Aella was a great foil to Taryn and great at showing her what she could have if she was willing to leave, to stretch what she was allowed to wish for, but of course the biggest issue with her wishing for anything was...Michael.

Michael was such an interesting character. I loved him. I hated him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to punch him. Again as with the town and the people of the town I was so deep seated in Taryn’s head and feelings that her conflicted feelings about Michael and how he was acting became my feelings on the matter. Not enough to not separate a tad and see what was coming or at least try to predict it as I always do when reading, but emotionally I was right with Taryn the whole way. The one thing that really pushed Michael from just a character I was conflicted about to one I really wanna give a swift kick in the nads to, is that he knew. He knew all about Taryn’s absolute lack of romantic inclinations toward any of the boys in town and her doubts that she would ever find someone to love and marry to take over the farm. He was the only person she confided these fears in and he still selfishly followed his own pursuits with little regard to her or her worries. You sir, are a terrible brother and overall a shit human, so sit your ass down and shut your mouth.

The plot for this book was so embroiled with the characters and their journeys that I can’t talk on it much but the twists at the end and the final climax was very satisfying for me and left me excited to dig into the next book. Also something of note that I didn’t talk about in the character section cause I felt it was dragging on a touch, I really only talked in depth on our three biggest players but there is a very colorful cast of side characters ranging from Taryn’s nervous pony to the boy-who-cried-gryphon neighbor no one can stand to the troupe of hunters led by Aella’s mother to Taryn’s best friend Nia, all of whom play important parts in building that sense of caring about the people of this town and the town itself, which in turn made me deeply care about the outcome of the plot at the heart of the story. And the sheep! The god damn sheep!

One thing I do want to say before my final thoughts is that whoever designed the cover of this book in a genius because as I dug into the story I found myself constantly closing it to spout off about theories of what I thought was happening on the cover and what it all meant, I was kind of reader fatigue delirious for most of those theories but some of them I was right! I might have reenacted the Captain Holt “Vindication” gif IRL just because it felt too good not to. I just love when a “cool” cover turns out to be so much more than that once you’re “in the know”. So yeah, now y’all know to pay attention for that.

My final thoughts on this book are pretty positive. I can tell the author is building us toward so much more, hence the name of the series, Taryn’s Journey, and it feels like it. This is only the beginning and I honestly can’t wait to take the next steps with her.

Queer Wrap-up:

Hey it’s me from the future...present...whatever...so, this is when I stopped writing the review six months ago and there is a reason for that. I, kind of, agonized over what to rate this book on the scale. Multiple times having to call my brother and go back and forth just to then repeat the same arguments with myself as soon as I got off the phone. Now why was this such a hard terrible no good awful back and forth well...SPOILER WARNING...seriously anything past this point will be spoiling some character beats for the majority of the book...okay? We understand one another. DANGER ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE...or you know scroll on.

So, Taryn is never confirmed to be queer in the text of this book. Now you would have to be wearing the tightest hetero goggles in known history not to see the heavy HEAVY subtext saying THIS BITCH GAY! It’s basically a full grown elephant painted sparkly rainbow trying to hide behind a dead shrub aka not hiding at all. I so desperately wanted to give this book four of those darling unicorns but in this rare case I just don’t think I can justify it. We have a protagonist that is still figuring herself out, which is amazing that we get to see that and go on the journey with her. Some of the things Taryn does and thinks are queer coded as hell, especially if it involves Aella who is explicitly gay on the page, but Taryn herself never express whether she herself is queer. Which, fair, other really important and traumatizing things were going on and I love that about her as a character, she didn’t meet Aella and suddenly that was all she could think about. Aella, of course, is representation who I’m counting because even though she shows obvious interest (you smooth motherfucker) in Taryn she is so much more than just a love interest and her character isn’t just boiled down to her sexuality. Now in this wrap up I’m also including the doctor and his husband in the town. They are very minor characters but they give us interesting insights into the town and the people. They are accepted and treated well in town even if some do almost, pity isn’t the right word, but they seem sad that they won’t be able to have any kind of legacy or lineage. As I said in the review it’s not homophobia it’s being stuck in your ways and it’s an interesting take.

Links:

Shannon McGee Website

The Storygraph

Okay so this one is a bit of a mess. Pieces of it were written 6 months apart and most of it was written while I was kind of delirious but hey at least I can say it’s honest. I still stand by everything my past self wrote and I still really enjoy thinking and talking about this book and am excited for whenever I get around to reading the sequel to continue on Tayrn’s journey with her. This is a book I probably would never have known even existed without ClexaCon and trolling through artist alley for literally every table that had books on them. I guess, moral of the day is maybe you won’t just find great books on library shelves but on unassuming convention tables too and it never hurts to look. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

Oh bet you thought this post was over. I did the sign off and everything but oh no no! I have some info and such to impart. I am WELL AWARE these reviews have been fairly inconsistent to down right sporadic. Well, this is just a little info dump letting you guys know I am gonna be putting up one more review after this one that I wrote ages ago and I mean AGES (think years, as in multiple) and just never got around to posting and then the old blog is probably gonna be going through a PLANNED dormancy while some pretty big stuff is coming down the pike. You may notice visual changes and other stuff before anything else is announced but just keep an eye out. To quote the Fates from Hercules, “It’s gonna be big!”

Okay now for the actual sign off, I got shit to do! No one look behind the curtain, it’s a surprise!

#Of Gryphons and Other Monsters #Shannon McGee #resident lesbrarian #3 unicorns #questioning girl #lesbian #heavy wlw romantic subtext #ya novel #ya fantasy #go to your local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe out there guys gals and nonbinary pals

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pensivetense · 3 years

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A List Of (Mostly TMA) Fic Recs Sorted By Vibe

Not an exhaustive list by any means, just a few favourites that caught my fancy. I shortened many of the summaries for space.

I’m going to pin this here and update it as I go.

Also, I’m pensivetense on ao3

MELANCHOLY VIBES

for when you want to feel comfortably muted

(sad but not utterly bleak endings here)

Hope, Etc. (Dickenson, et al.) by yellow_caballero

Jonathan Sims, six months after the Unknowing, wakes to find himself without a daemon - without humanity, without a soul. It’s a cursed half-life, but existence as a shell without a heart isn’t so bad: between solving the mystery of a persistent illusion cast over his friends and some light pseudo-cannibalism, a life as a monster is better than no life at all. At least, it would be, if it wasn’t for the fucking Owl.

A freaking. Amazing. Daemon au. Ties the lore of Dust with TMA lore very satisfyingly, but is mostly about Jon navigating what it means to be human, or, in the absence of that, a person, and doesn’t require prior knowledge of His Dark Materials. Cannot recommend highly enough.

after one long season of waiting by nuinuijiaojiao

Annabelle is not used to having nice things. or, Annabelle heads to Upton House, muses a little, and gets some well-deserved rest

I love survivalist Annabelle and also the concept of the Web as kind of a horrible Patron, actually.

i love you. I want us both to eat well. by SmallishWormMasterOfTheUniverse

At the safehouse with Martin, Jon decides it's time to quit statements once and for all. The Eye disagrees. Martin just needs Jon to be okay. It's quite possible that nobody is going to get what they want.

Scottish Safehouse Era, Jon and Martin coping with their respective Entities... really, really good.

the friend by doomcountry

He always greets a new spider when he meets it. It’s instinct, born in childhood, the same way he instinctively counts magpies, or flicks salt over his left shoulder. A little harmless superstition. A bit of politesse.

A great Martin character study with eldritch spider horror included. The imagery regularly haunts me (in a good way).

autumn’s rare gift by bee_bro

Annually, the two meet, renewing the binding ritual where it had all started. The procedure simple: a waltz.

Singlehandedly made me ship Gertrude/Agnes so there’s that. It’s so bittersweet and bee_bro’s writing is, as always, incredibly poetic. (I’d recommend everything they write, actually.)

smile, you’re trending by Goodluckdetective

During an encounter with another Avatar of the Eye, Jon faces his past, Martin takes a turn at playing Kill Bill and Basira has a second look at the monster she’s determined to see. For three people associated with the Eye, they could all use some perspective.

Features an original Eye Avatar character who’s a YouTube personality; she is infuriating and inspired and genuinely frightening and I cannot say enough good things.

Humility by The_Lionheart

have you no idea that you're in deep?/i've dreamt about you nearly every night this week,/how many secrets can you keep?

An OC centric story but don’t let that put you off, it’s amazing. Very heavily focused around Jonah Magnus and the other Avatars as they change through the years. Also, I’d die for the OC.

oh, for one sweet second without the eye series by faedemon

Beholding does not like in the way humans do, but it likes its Archivist all the same.

I’m just so fond of the way this is done stylistically. I have a great weakness for dialogue only/dialogue heavy writing, not to mention all of the wonderful character beats and interplay of humanity/inhumanity for Jon and Melanie.

Rewind by WhyNotFly

It takes eight days of forced confinement for Jon to start hallucinating. [...] It’s Martin, though, that his exhausted brain conjures, because of course it’s Martin. After all this time, of course it’s Martin.

Jon willingly allows himself to be confined rather than hunting for statements, and examines his relationship with Martin.

for a firmament series by supaslim

There is beauty in destruction. There is art in becoming. In which Jon becomes the Archive, and the Archive becomes Jon.

Part two posted this morning and uhhh. Good. Also if you’re here for weird eldritch body horror (I am), this one’s for you.

ONES THAT JUST HURT

for when you want to feel sad

(somewhat bleaker endings here/everyone is NOT okay)

Feste by yellow_caballero

If asked, Martin would say that he became the shadow director of the Magnus Institute by accident. But nobody ever asked, and nobody ever cared, and it was in this way that Martin stopped lying to himself. Or: break free, Martin. All you have to lose are your chains. And your sanity.

Oh, this one totally didn’t go the way I expected it to. A study in isolation. Could go into the category above, as the ending is not bleak, but the tone of the whole is somewhat more depressing than most there.

Ghosts of Love by RavenXavier

Nothing made Martin more grounded in the world than yearning for Jonathan Sims.

Lonely!Martin that really captures a sort of visceral ache. Hurts me and yet I keep rereading.

i do desire (we may be better strangers) by godbewithyouihavedone

For ages, it only knew how to worship, taking human bodies and living off the fear of those who remembered. It never knew love until it became Jonathan Sims. Now it must fight against every instinct to save Martin Blackwood. Archivist Sasha, Not!Jon/Martin, and the worst kind of Fake Dating AU.

Oh, this one just made me sad. The poor not!them, which is something I never thought I’d say.

Apple Of Your Eye by fakeCRfan

In which the Eye is fond of Martin. Perhaps a little too fond for comfort.

Somehow manages to be both sweet and horrifying—the characterisation of the Eye is incredible. ‘The Eye loves Martin’ is a scenario that’s so utterly doomed to failure and yet the writing is packed with so much pathos that I just want them all to be happy. A fantastic use of themes of agency and choice, and the single best use of Beholding as a source of horror I’ve read.

The Last Press by copperbadge

Jon Sims is awake, and has begun preparations for the Rite of the Watcher's Crown. Peter Lukas, who woke him, would be content to rule at his side. Martin is very upset about all of this, and the Lukases aren't thrilled with it either.

I really can’t say anything without spoiling the end and it’s so good. An alternate take on the Watcher’s Crown. Not a pairing that I ever thought would work for me, but this made it work.

watch the blood evaporate by 75hearts

It starts, like so many things in Jon’s life have started, with a nagging itch of curiosity. Jonathan Sims uses his healing abilities throughout s4. Read the tags.

Dear God please read the tags. But this is some high quality pain if it’s for you.

the lighthouse series by low_fi

Peter Lukas is a lighthouse keeper. One evening, he gets a call from a cryptic overseer tasked with monitoring his work.

This is such a vivid and yet subtle story—from the setting to the emotions portrayed, it creeps up on you slowly. The ending was like the gentlest possible gut-punch. The sequel just completed, and yeah, just as wonderful. This one is very much LonelyEyes but I listed it here because it is just exquisitely painful.

SATISFYINGLY HOPEFUL VIBES

for when you want to feel cozy

Clutching Daffodils by Gemi

Martin has always liked the idea of love at first sight. It’s such a romantic idea, the whole thing of it. Seeing someone and instantly feeling that strange, twisting feeling deep inside that every single media likes to obsess over. Of knowing you are in love within the day, petals falling from your mouth and warmth filling your chest as love burrows deep, vines twisting through your lungs. He always liked the idea of it. And then Jonathan Sims starts working at the Magnus Institute.

Somehow manages to be lighter and fluffier than most hanahaki fare, despite the setting. I’ve reread this one a lot.

the least he could do by Prim_the_Amazing

Martin should in fact not pick this man, specifically because of how attracted he is to him. It would be the responsible thing to do. Except he’s already following him. And he’s hungry.

Fluffy vampire au which everyone’s probably already read, but was too good not to mention.

rather interesting by bee_bro

Jonah Magnus realizes that, for some reason, when he comes in contact with weed, Elias Bouchard's consciousness will come into his life banging pots and pans.

Oh boy. So these are all favourite fics but this one is a favourite amongst favourites. The way Jonah is characterised (i.e. incredibly sensitive to scrutiny) is my favourite depiction of him, and the slow-burn between him and Elias is far sweeter than it has any right to be. Also, it’s hilarious.

The Magnus Records series by ErinsWorks

In a world parallel to that of the Archives and the Institute, a supernatural sanctuary stands against a cruel and uncaring world: A world of bureaucracy and tyranny, of murder and carnage, of loneliness and surveillence, of plague and death. But in this world of fear and misery, 14 entities born of the hopes of the world have emerged. And one of them has made their home here, at The Magnus Sanctuary. Perhaps, the employees within may lead happier lives than their counterparts did in the Archives.

This is just so goddamn pure. The author writes a really imaginative, fleshed-out alternate world and alternate Entities with engaging, well-written short statements. All of the character voices are absolutely on point, and it’s overall absurdly hopeful without ever feeling overly saccharine. I love this series so much, you guys, you don’t even know. I want to print it out and paste it on my wall. I love it.

HARD APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel dark and angsty (and eldritch)

Most of these are shorts/oneshots because it’s just that kind of genre, y’know?

Ashes to Ashes by marrowbones

A conversation at the end of the world.

Oliver Banks is one of those minor characters that I am overly attached to. Love him here.

Employee Benefits by equals_eleven_thirds

The Magnus Institute offered some normal employee benefits: a pension plan, holidays, travel subsidies, free lunch on the last Friday of each month. Rosie makes it work.

This manages to hit that perfect sweet spot of satisfying and hilarious. Rosie gets to torment Elias, as she well deserves.

a rose by any other name by Duck_Life

Part of Jon blooms in Jared Hopworth’s garden.

This one was sad and honestly too gentle to really belong in this category, but I love it.

Eye to Eye by Dribbledscribbles

In which Jonah Magnus attempts a post-apocalyptic pep talk.

Unreliable narrator at its finest, and the implications are suitably horrific.

commensalis by doomcountry

The tower is endlessly, impossibly tall, but Jon’s work is taller.

If you’re here for the eldritch imagery, then this has some of the best.

SOFT APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel gently triumphant

apocalypse how series by sunshine_states

Humanity adjusts. The Entities have Regrets.

Some nice vignettes set in a kinder apocalypse.

ceylon series by Sciosa

The one in which Jonathan Sims decides that no, actually, he isn't going to let the world just end.

I include this only for the sake on completeness, as everyone has no doubt already read it.

rituals by doomcountry

Martin is the first person to knock on the Archivist's door since it arrived, fully, into its little waiting temple. The Archivist saw him coming from down the hall, but decides to feign interest when the knob turns, and Martin—still a little bit smaller, a little more translucent than before—stands uncertainly just outside the room.

This one’s a little less focused on the world at large and more on JonMartin specifically.

we raise it up by savrenim

Jonathan Sims reads a book and saves the world; although maybe the real salvation is the friends he makes along the way; (although perhaps the world itself and the darkness that exists behind it isn't quite as out to get everyone as it seems).

More ‘soft revolution’ than ‘soft apocalypse’, but has the same vibe. A time travel fix-it. Incomplete but worth it if this is a mood that appeals to you.

Scarred Ground by DictionaryWrites

“You see," Elias said softly, "people always have this idea that only living things can be scarred - and they're right, of course. But a building is a living thing, Martin. And the ground can be scarred, too." "I don't have any scars," Martin said. "Yes, you do," Elias said. "You just need the right light to see them.”

Falls somewhere between ‘Apocalypse’ and ‘Soft Apocalyse’ but I’m putting it here because I feel like it. Also technically a LonelyEyes fic. I found it hard to follow at first but it’s worth sticking with; things will eventually begin to make sense and come together.

LONELYEYES

for when you want to feel lonelyeyes

marrying anguish with one last wish by procrastinatingbookworm

In which Elias isn't Orpheus, and Peter isn't Eurydice, but Elias brings Peter home anyway.

Lives in my head rent free forever. My favourite lonelyeyes fic.

ouroboros by Wildehack

“You know,” Jonah says, a muscle in his calf quivering agreeably where it’s slung over Mordechai’s shoulder, “it’s really quite--fortunate--that I don’t care for you at all.”

Oh, this one hurts in the best possible way. The endless cycle of their relationship, the way it comes full-circle... yeah, good. Actually, no, this one might be my favourite. It’s a tie.

Breaking all the Rules by Thedupshadove

Elias proposes a somewhat...unusual wager.

Soft lonelyeyes? In my recs? It’s more likely than you think. Short, sweet, and... sweet.

Threefold by Sprinkledeath

Peter Lukas breaks three rules.

I’m just a slut for mythology allusions I guess.

Luck Be A Lady Tonight by prodigy

In 2014, Elias Bouchard takes a rare trip outside of his comfort zone. Peter Lukas wastes a bunch of money. You'd be surprised how many things can go wrong for two beings of cosmic power.

I love the sense of the history of them you get while reading this.

love is just a word (the idea seems absurd) by kaneklutz

"Something's wrong. It's stopped hurting" An avatar of the Lonely and an avatar of the Beholding walk into a bar relationship. It was bound to blow up in their faces.

Short, sweet, painful. Excellent exploration of their priorities.

Victor by penguistifical

elias tries something with his powers that he hasn't attempted before

The one where Elias tries to raise the dead. Not incredibly LonelyEyes centric but that’s still the pairing.

Simon Says by penguistifical

“Peter asked me to drop by and have a word with you, and, so, here I am.” Simon chuckles at Elias’s disbelieving stare. “Well, he asked in his own way. He’s not a complicated man, you know. He either comes from your arms looking like a stroked cat that’s been given a dish of cream or looking like he’s been in that toy boat of his out in an unexpected storm. He was far angrier than normal, so I daresay you weren’t cream today.”

I mean personally I’d just go ahead and rec all of penguistifical’s LonelyEyes fics but this is a standout for me.

AROMANTIC AND ASPEC MOODS

for when you want to feel Seen

The Aro Archives series by WhyNotFly

These are all just really really good. From Aro!Peter to two different aro-spec versions of the Scottish Safehouse to a long and beautiful aro hanahaki fic, this series is uniformly wonderful. The two Scottish Safehouse ones (Torn Edges and Murky Water) are my comfort fics.

and now all fear gives way by j_quadrifons

Before he can think it through, he murmurs, "Is that what it feels like? Being in love?" Martin's hand stills in his hair and Jon's stomach drops.

This one just. Wow yeah this is how it be. Another absolute comfort fic of mine.

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

I’m going to be honest—I didn’t know where to put this one. But it ended up here because the real standout of this fic for me is the portrayal of Sasha, and especially her portrayal as an aro character. So I’m putting it here. Mind the content warnings with this one!

HUMOUR

for when you want to feel delight

The Torment of Sebastian Skinner by Urbenmyth

After the Eye's victory, the statement givers are trapped in their horror stories, living them over and over again. Naturally, this works out better for some then for others.

Premise? Delightful. Execution? Fantastic. I read this one to cheer myself up when I’m sad.

Unlucky by VolxdoSioda

Jon’s dice betray him

Short, sweet DnD au, and the reason I cannot get DM!Elias out of my head now.

Voracious by beetl

A bird hits the window. Jon experiences The Flesh's thrall.

“Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” but make it literal.

The Stupid Endings by Urbenmyth

There are a lot of very deeply thought out and creative AUs on this site. These aren't among them. These ones are how the story could have ended, if Jonny Sims was a dumbass.

These are just uniformly hilarious, I cannot recommend them highly enough.

PODCAST CROSSOVERS

for when you want to make one of those “if I had a nickel for every time...” posts

The Sabbatical by morelikeassassin

Nicholas Waters is in need of an all-knowing eldritch entity beyond the confines of human imagining to help with his latest ritual. He'll have to settle for Jonathan Sims, who happens to have nothing better to do.

Crossover with Archive 81 (s3, specifically). Both fun and bittersweet.

The City And Its Sorrows by cuttooth

“What makes you think your friend is in Eskew?” David asks. He feels he can risk the scrutiny of the city that far. “I read that this is a place people end up when they get lost,” says the man. “This is a place people end up,” David agrees./The Archivist comes to Eskew.

Contemplative piece, and I love the way it presents David’s relationship with Eskew, the way he finds it horrible and hates it and yet belongs to it, is almost proud in the way he shows to to Jon. Great little vignette of two people oppressed by eldritch powers, intersecting.

Hiatus by bibliocratic

My name is Jonathan Sims, and I am in Eskew. (Jon gets lost in a Spiral city. It is not as easy as escaping.)

This one is far more focused on Jon than David, and is honestly more Eskew-weird than Spiral-weird. In the best way. Told in Eskew episode style, and is very good.

Sweet Music by Shella688

Eskew has a music to it, if you know how to listen. The percussion beat of thousands of footsteps, the melody in the squealing of the trains overhead. Today, the music of Eskew comes in the form of nine musicians, playing outside my office. My name is David Ward, and I am in Eskew.

Not TMA, but since a lot of Mechs fans go here—this one’s a Mechs/Eskew crossover. Short and simple, mostly David Ward centric, just a little well-written one shot I had to mention because I enjoyed it but it doesn’t have much traffic. Nice portrayal of the Mechs from an outsider’s perspective, and how genuinely strange and frightening they’d come across (especially if you’re already being haunted by and eldritch city). If you like Eskew-style storytelling, check it out!

NOT TMA

...but good enough that I physically cannot make a recs list without including them. Here!

#tma #the magnus archives #fic recs #long post #i'm not kidding you guys it's long #so be warned before you click read more #pinned on my blog

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valentinecult · 3 years

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Guilty Gear -STRIVE- Story Review. (ugh finally)

Alright, the game has been out for more than a month now and I’m sure a lot of fans who’re dedicated to the story and lore have watched the story mode of Strive.

If you haven’t watched the story mode, this review is going to have spoilers (no duh). I strongly advise you to not read this unless you’re okay with this. You’ve been warned.

Before we get into the review, I’m not going to complicate it and prefer to keep it simplistic to avoid going off track. It won’t be too long of a review, so to make it easier for myself, I’m going to do the pros and cons.

The Pros

The story mode really gave a more cinematic feeling to it unlike the XRD series. In SIGN and Revelator, the story was a mixture of anime and visual novel in terms of the mechanics. Here, the story was executed differently for the viewer. In all honesty, it felt like I’m watching a literal movie...you know, the ones you see in theaters like Marvel, G. I. Joe, etc. At the same time, it is more anime-esque due to not having the text boxes from the XRD series.

Parts of the story mode reminded me of certains movie scenes I’ve watched before. For example, the part where Happy Chaos invaded the White House and forced the country leaders to disable the nuclear weapons reminded me of the scene from G.I. Joe 2 where Zartan, who was disguised as the President, made the world leaders disarm the nukes while using psychological warfare.

Another thing I’d like to add is that the main story gave certain characters great closure and development, including Sol, I-No, and Axl Low. I-No’s ‘death’ was extremely sad and even sadder once you realize her true identity. The plot twist I did not expect to see coming was that I-No is actually Megumi, Axl’s girlfriend--or rather an alternate version of her from another timeline. It makes sense considering how I-No showed some sympathy toward Axl because they were both carrying a heavy burden with their powers to manipulate time.

I’m happy that Sol didn’t share the same fate as Ragna from Blazblue where he ‘dies’ or is nonexistent from the world. After everything he’s been through, Sol literally deserved some peace and quiet for once in his life along with Jack-O (New Aria).

Speaking of Aria, Jack-O’s development and internal struggle with her identity is very tragic. The poor girl acknowledges that she isn’t the real ‘Aria’ and felt that she is robbing another person’s life. The fact that she is having an identity crisis lead to the part where she feels that she’s a failure of a Valentine to Asuka and was willing to sacrifice herself to stop I-No, but Sol thankfully stopped her just in time to show her that his love for Jack-O is genuine. Despite her childish behavior in XRD, I really liked how they humanized Jack-O along with the other Valentines. They really helped making the Valentines feel more than just copies of Aria/Justice and become their own unique individuals.

Lastly, I want to talk about the man of the hour....my hubby <3

Nagoriyuki. I’ll be frank with you, I was expecting him to play a role similar to Slayer. Thankfully, it wasn’t the case. Now, here is the thing, people find it sort of controversial on how they made it where Nagoriyiki is a ‘slave’ to Happy Chaos for obvious reasons that I’d rather not go into because I want to keep this review light-hearted.

I loved how they humanized Nagoriyuki and made him a very sympathetic character. While he is insanely powerful and stronger than he truly lets on, he feels more ‘vulnerable’ than Slayer. Let me explain what I mean, you see...the difference between Slayer and Nagoriyuki in my opinion is that Slayer feels like a complete force of nature as a vampire and observer who experienced a lot of events that occurred in the Guilty Gear world. However, Nagoriyuki is far different from Slayer because you see that Nagoriyuki is internally conflicted and immensely guilty for his actions. If you play the Arcade Mode and do all routes to hear the dialogue, you see that Nagoriyuki deep down feels guilty for hurting many people, possibly when he first became a vampire. His own arcade story where he fights his darker self showed that the man is willing to stay true to his Bushido traditions and his humanity instead of drinking blood like all vampires do to remain at their peak. I was in a way right that he is no different from Sol in terms of their situation that they’re trying to remain human as possible and not become monsters. He feels more ‘human’. While it upsets me how Happy Chaos treated him and held him against his will, you can’t help but to grow attached to the poor man and seeing him in a vulernable position opens doors for character development.

His personality is likeable and endearing. I like that he showed concern for Sol’s wellbeing and warn him to run away if he is in no condition to fight during the White House invasion. It goes to show that Nagoriyuki is compassionate. While he isn’t as strong as Slayer, well in my opinion, I do admire his passionate spirit and willpower. The highlight scene for me that made me love Nagoriyuki a whole lot was when he regained control of his body and purposely lets himself lose to Sol. That showed the kind of person Nago is, he’s willing to lose and probably die as a free man than to spend of his life as Happy Chaos’ puppet hurting innocent people and tarnishing his Bushido ways. I must admit, that part kind of made cry a bit because I was unsure if Nagoriyuki survived one of Sol’s strongest attacks and it looked like he was burned to a crisp. That selfless attitude of his one of the few personality traits I adore about him.

Same goes for when in his Arcade Story, Nagoriyuki told his darker self that he is willing to starve for eternity than to drink from humans or anyone in general. He says with certainty. To me, I like that he is willing to put others before his himself as a person. What I didn’t expect from Nago is that he has the ability to see weak points of his enemies and given how his sword screwed up Sol’s regeneration, I have to say...he is more deadly than I anticipated. I hope to see this man more in action one day.

One more thing, I do like how Ramlethal and him had a heart-to-heart dialogue in her Arcade Story. When you think about it, Nagoriyuki is similar to Ramlethal for they both ‘work’ for powerful entities from the Backyard and are searching for a purpose as characters. Like Ramlethal, Nagoriyuki keeps denying himself for he is implied to be ashamed of his preivous actions, but Ramlethal wants him to accept himself and is willing to help him. Sadly, he just takes off.

I’m really looking forward to seeing more of him in the future. This character has a lot of potential.

The Cons

While I like the story, it isn’t without its flaws.

The real flaw is that it leaves more questions than answers.

Guilty Gear’s story and lore feels only 75% complete for me. Where is Happy Chaos? What happened to the Seeds? What happened to Faust? Where was Ramlethal and May?

Most importantly....what is the Blood of Juno and how did Ky gain his own Dragon Install?

The pacing of the story mode felt a tad bit rushed and doesn’t explain a whole lot of things. Heck, we never got enough decent information on Giovanna or Nagoriyuki.

There are too many loose ends and leaves me with unsatisfactory.

However, at the same time....this makes me want to know more about Guilty Gear’s lore. With the new story mode coming this year, I’m eager to see what Daisuke has in store for us. The main story was heavily focused on concluding Sol’s story, but still...there are a lot of loose ends.

I hope with the new story mode, we’ll be able get answers to many of the unanswered mysteries.

I’m not convinced that Guilty Gear is ‘over’ until everything is explained!

#guilty gear #arc system works #Daisuke Ishiwatari #ggstrive #guilty gear strive #team red

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mila-dans · 4 years

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Spells Out Trouble: Roll on Down the Highway

This is chapter three of “Spells Out Trouble.” Masterlist Here!

Chapter Two: Take It Easy

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word count: 4530

Summary: You have been with the Winchesters for several years now going through all the literal trials and tribulations with them. What happens when Dean gets hit by a love spell and becomes head-over-heels for you? Will your pushed down emotions finally rise or will you get in over your head? Find out what happens when your best friend’s hard exterior becomes mush whenever you end up in his eyeline.

Just so you know: This is my first Fanfic so sorry if there are aspects missing. “Spells Out Trouble” is a series with about ten chapters. If you have any suggestions or tips, I’d love to hear from you. Thank you and I hope you enjoy it! (Also, not my gif!)

Dean looks at you with a head tilt and a furrowed brow, “Sorry for what?”

Boom

The front car door opens hitting Dean in the chest and below the belt. Sam steps out from the car grabbing Dean by the collar. “Hiya, Dean,” he says, giving him a quick smile then serving a big knuckle sandwich knocking him down for the count.

----------------------

“Waffles… waf… waffles. Waffles. Waffles.” Dean jolts up in the backseat. “Waffles!”

“Great,” you sigh, “He’s up.”

“Y/N,” Sam says as he gives you a look.

“Y/N!” Dean says as his smile returns and tries to get closer towards you.

You turn around in the seat to look at him and point to the handcuffs holding him to the door handle. “Sorry, pal. It’s for your own good. And our good.”

“Oh,” Dean says with a frown after examining his restraints. “That’s okay, my Love. If you feel better about having me restrained then it’s fine,” Dean says, smiling at you, still trying to get as close as he can.

You and Sam had been driving with an unconscious Dean in the backseat for about three hours. You still had nine hours to go till you reached the bunker and Cas. Sam threw a few theories your way on how Dean is still alive with his insides intact and you shared some of your own thoughts. Well, not all of your thoughts. This ride was the first time you have been able to take a breath and calm your pounding headache that has only managed to get worse. Every time there was silence between you and Sam, Dean entered your mind.

You remember the first time you met the brothers, Dean to be exact.

--------------------

Five years ago, back when you were all young and naïve.

Back in your hometown, Harrisburg, South Dakota, you sat at a local bar called “Timmy's.” You were waiting to talk to some hunters that Sheriff Mills had claimed to be ‘damn good at their job.’ You were familiar with hunting and what was used to kill what. Your dad used to be one of the best. It was the family job. Just you, mom, and dad. It was like that for years until it became just you and your dad. Remembering the loss of your mother was a burden that no matter how much you dug, you couldn’t quite bury. Quitting the life and leaving your father was the biggest regret of your life.

In the corner of your eye you saw a young man dressed in a cheap suit walk inside the bar looking around. He was attractive. He didn’t look like the usual old, beer bellied, bush bearded, hunter that you expected. He looked different, acted different. You stood and signaled for him to come over. “You Mr. Winchester?” You asked, reaching out for a handshake.

“Don’t be so formal, call me Dean,” He said with a flirtatious smile as he shook your hand then took a seat.

“With all do respect Mr. Winchester,” you said, giving him a more simple smile and taking your seat, “I’d rather be formal than familiar with you and your life.”

“Understood. So, are you aware of my life and what I do?” He asked, becoming more formal in tone and posture.

“Let’s just say I’ve been around this block before,” you said.

You continued talking shop with him and you offered your suggestion on the monster at hand.

“A Chupacabra.”

“A what?” Dean asks looking at you as if you were insane.

“A Chupacabra. Every hunter worth his while has at least come across one of them in their time.”

“Yeah,” Dean says nervously. “I know that.” He gives off an unconvincing smile.

“Please tell me you’ve killed a Chupacabra before,” you say, wondering how good his bluff was.

“Duh, of course I have,” he says once again unconvincingly.

“Jody said that you were professionals, not rookies,” you let out.

“Listen,” Dean looked for a name.

“Y/N,” you said.

“Yeah, listen Y/N, me and my brother stopped the apocalypse,” he says with a more aggressive tone.

“After you started it,” you respond.

“On accident!”

“Well that’s assuring!” You say as you realize what a waste of time this has been. “You need to get out of this town before you get yourself killed. Or start the end of the world by, ‘accident,’ again.”

“What? Just because I haven’t killed one of these sons of bitches before doesn’t mean I can’t, or that I should just leave. People are dying here,” he says.

“I know people are dying, that’s why I called for hunters to come and stop it. But Chupacabra aren’t some vamp or ghoul that can be done quick and easy by some inexperienced professional wannabes. They are more dangerous, deadly, and the lore on them doesn’t help but give untested suggestions!”

“Well once I kill it I guess I’ll be experienced then won’t I?!” Dean gets up from the table and leaves.

“Or you’ll get yourself killed!” You yell out as he walks out the bar. “Jerk,” you mumble to yourself.

Later that evening, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Sure you gave Dean a warning and told him to leave but then again, you knew he wouldn’t listen and was destined to get himself killed. “That’s okay,” you think as you don’t believe in destiny. Anyway you looked at it, all you saw was their blood being on your hands. With that thought, you wiped the dust off of your old silver dagger and went to the spot that you and Dean discussed where it would most likely be at.

You pulled up in your old pick up to a clearing in between a farm and forest. You park the car next to a 67 impala and get out meeting Dean and his brother. “Nice wheels,” you say.

“Yeah, you’re not thanked,” Dean says as he glares at you. “What are you doing here?” He says with an annoyed tone.

“I’m here to save your ass and since I arrived here before you were stupid enough to walk in there unequipped, maybe I’ll just stop you before you have to be saved,” you respond.

“I’m sorry,” Sam butts in, “Who are you?” He asks.

“Nobody,” Dean answers. “And nobody should be going on her way before she gets too ‘familiar’ with all this.”

You roll your eyes and go over to Sam pulling out a silver dagger. “I’m Y/N. I met your brother earlier and tried to give him some good advice.”

“Telling me to leave is not advice!” Dean says.

“I also said that the lore wasn’t any good!” You hand Sam the dagger, “Here.”

Sam takes it from you, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” you smile. “I like you much better than your brother. He’s a jerk.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he replies. You go over to Dean as you pull out another silver dagger.

“I already have one,” he says waving it in your face.

“So what?” Sam asks. “Silver kills it?”

“Not really,” you answer. “You need its blood to kill it.”

“How are we supposed to get that?” Dean asks.

You send a sly smile his way, “Good question, Winchester.”

You pulled out tripwires from the back of your car and explained that once the Chupacabra surrounds the bait, he walks over a wire, cutting him and using the blood from the wire, you smear it on a dagger then go in for the kill.

“Where are we gonna find bait?” Dean asks.

You smile at Dean and look at Sam.

After setting up wires in between trees all around where Dean would stand in for bait, you and Sam hid behind a tree waiting for the Chupacabra to make a move.

“Are you sure this will work?” Sam whispers.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you reply.

“So are you a hunter?”

You let out a small chuckle, “Was a hunter.”

Sam laughs a little. “I know what you mean,” he says with a smile.

“You do?” You ask, curious.

“I was a hunter with my dad and brother until I got out. Dad went missing, got pulled back in. Stuff happened. Stayed in. Now it’s just me and Dean carrying on the family business.”

“Wow,” you shake your head, “and I know what you mean by ‘stuff happened.’ It just seems like it had a different effect on me.” You peak at Dean from behind the tree, sitting on a broken log with a small fire in front of him.

“I guess so,” Sam says.

You turn your attention back to him. “Do you regret it?” You ask. He looks at you confused. You clarify, “Regret getting back in?”

“Did for a while but now, if anything, I regret getting out,” he answers.

You ponder for a moment his words but stop once you hear it. The Chupacabra. You hit Sam's shoulder and signal its arrival. Sam nods and the two of you start moving towards the different wires.

Snikt

You and Sam both see the blood left on one of the wires right as the Chupacabra sees you. “Run!” You yell at Sam. Sam takes off with the monster chasing after him. You race over to the blood and wipe it on your dagger just in time for Sam to get thrown into a tree right beside you. You hide behind a tree and watch to see where it went. “Dammit!” You mutter under your breath, finding it nowhere in sight.

You slowly walk over to Sam and check his pulse. “Good,” you whisper, feeling a heartbeat. You creep over slowly to where Dean is. You see him. You see it.

Screech

It’s voice startles Dean as it jumps on him, clawing at his face and trying to take a bite out of his neck. Dean struggles with the beast, trying to kick, punch, and hurl it off of him. Suddenly, it’s weight becomes much heavier to Dean as it’s attacks stop. He tosses the Chupacabra aside.

“Told you I’d save your ass,” you said as you reached out your hand to help him up.

“Thanks,” he says looking at you wide-eyed. You wipe off the blood from your blade on the side of your pants.

“Come here,” you tell Dean. He walks over hesitant. You reach up to his face and tilt it down. You pull out a rag from your back pocket and wipe the excess blood from his face.

“Better?” You ask.

“Sure,” he says with a soft tone.

You look at him trying to get a read. “What is it?” You ask.

“It’s just,” he takes a deep breath, “you have no problem saving me but…”

“But what?” You demand, an angered tone in your voice.

“But when it comes to someone else, you just what? Look away?” Dean’s tone rises with frustration. “You clearly could’ve taken this on by yourself and got it wrapped up and done with after one person got killed. I just don’t get why you waited till twelve ended up dead before you did something.”

It was like his words pierced an old wound.

“It wasn’t like that,” you say softly, not sure you can even justify yourself.

Dean looks at the expression on your face and changes his tone in order to lighten the mood. “Your right,” he says with a smile, “What do I know? I’m just a jerk, right?” He asks, trying to make you feel better.

“Right,” you answer with a broken tone.

Sam walks over, “Hey, you mind if I borrow my brother for a moment?” He asks. You nod and the two walk away.

You hear them mumble but you remain silent and lost in your own forgotten thoughts.

Sam and Dean walk over to you. “Listen,” Sam says, “me and Dean were talking and we thought that it might be nice to have some help.” Before you have a chance to decline, he continues. “I know you said you got out but tonight, you are really good at saving lives. You're smart and great at hand-to-hand.”

“I don’t know about that,” you smile. “You seemed pretty unconscious during the actual fight.”

“I saw,” Dean says. “You are more capable than most hunters we know. Whoever taught you, taught you good. But we understand if you don’t wanna get involved.”

You looked up to the brothers and felt the feeling of family for a moment. It had been so long since you were a part of a team. A part of people who made something whole. “I’ll think about it,” you said.

“Great,” Sam said as he pulled out a fake FBI card. “Here’s our number. Just give us a call if you want in the chaos.” You smile and take the card. “Ready?” Sam asks Dean.

“Yeah,” he responds as Sam walks back to the car. “Hey,” Dean says to you. “Thanks for saving my life. And sorry for what I said ab--”

You cut him off. “Don’t mention it, Dean,” you say with a smile.

“First name basis? How very informal of you,” he says, returning the smile and walks off.

It wasn’t but a week later that you called Sam and decided to join their group of merry men, plus woman, and started to fight every hard hitter that came their way. You felt like you had a family again. And they were your family.

------------------------------

“Y/N? Y/N!”

“What?!” You answer agitatedly, turning around.

“Sorry, I just wanted to hear your voice again,” Dean replies with a smile.

You roll your eyes as you turn back around facing the long stretch of road ahead of you. “Can I just knock him out again?” You ask Sam.

“No,” he says with a huff. “He might have a concussion. We want Dean fixed, not dead.”

“Are you sure about that?” You say sarcastically. Sam gives you another look.

“You wa… you want me dead?” Dean asks with a saddened tone.

You let out a huff realizing how sensitive Dean is now. You contemplate which is better: Lovey-dovey Dean or the stupid, sarcastic one. “No,” you turn around and look in the puppy’s eyes, “I don’t want you dead Dean. I just don’t like what's going on with you.” You smile at him realizing that this is still Dean and he still is your best friend.

“Oh,” he says with a smile. “Is there anything I can do to make it better?” He asks so innocently.

“No, not really, Dean.”

“Well, maybe after I kill Sam, me and you can figure something out together,” Dean says with a nod and smile.

You and Sam both turn around and in sync say, “What?!”

Sam starts to swerve the car. “Keep your eyes on the road!” You demand.

“He just said he was gonna kill me!” He exclaims.

“That doesn’t mean kill us in a car accident before he gets the chance!” You smack Sam on the back of his head. You look back at Dean, “Why do you wanna kill Sam?!”

“I don’t want to but he keeps getting in the way of me and you!” Dean answers.

“No! Bad Dean!” You smack him on his head. “Do not kill Sam! Don’t kill Cas either! You know what, just don’t kill anyone. Okay? No killing!”

“Thank you,” Sam says.

“You’re welcome,” you respond as you turn back around. You look at your hand and see that there is a bit of blood on the edge of your fingers. You turn to Dean who has his head buried in the corner. “Dean?!” He looks up at you with tears coming down his face. “What is it now?” You ask, letting out another sigh.

Dean’s lip starts to tremble and he mumbles out, “You,” he pauses to sniffle and wipe his tears on his sleeve, “You said I was bad and then,” he sniffs, “then you hit me.”

You look at Sam with a loss for words. “I,” you clear your throat trying to find your thoughts, “Sam?” You ask.

“Yeah?” He responds.

“Keep the car steady,” you demand.

“Wait, why?” He asks. You roll your eyes and try to crawl over the seat. “Y/N! What are you,” Sam lets out a huff, “You sure you wanna be in the back with him?” He asks as you plop in the seat beside Dean who is still cowering in the corner.

“He’s hurt, Sam. And like you said, we want to help him not kill him. Though, the latter would be the easier option.” Dean lets out another sob. “I’m kidding!” You say defensively. “Come here, Dean,” you order. Dean shakes his head and moves more away from you. “Dean,” you say sincerely, “please. Let me see you. Don’t you want to see me?” You ask, trying to get a response.

“Yes,” Dean whispers.

“Then come here.” Dean looks at you again and hesitantly scoots closer to you. “See, that wasn’t so bad was it?”

Dean sniffs again. “No,” he says with his quivering lip.

You pause for a moment to look at Dean. Really, get a good look at him. This was Dean. The same Dean who you have known for years and the one who has saved your life more times than you can count. This same Dean was right in front of you, right now. Sure he was under a spell to be in love with you and you weren’t sure if this hurts you more than it does him but none of that mattered. You looked into Dean’s watery bright green eyes. You know that until you can find a cure, you risk hurting Dean by every mean or sarcastic comment you make. You can’t do that to him, you don’t want to do that to him. You love him and as of right now, he loves you.

You take a rag from the back of your pocket and signal for Dean to bring his head forward. You look in his eyes and gently place your hand on the side of his head. He lets out a sigh. You realize that this is the first physical interaction you two have had since this whole thing started. “It’s okay,” you say as you tilt his head down as you get a look at the top of it.

“What is it?” Sam asks looking at the two of you in the rear view mirror.

You pull out a little piece of ceramic from Dean hair. “Looks like the cook at the diner didn’t need Barbara,” you say as you wipe the blood from his head.

“What?” Sam asks, confused.

“Nothing,” you say with a sigh. You lift Dean’s head back up and once again see the tears that still remain on his face. You take your hands and place them on his cheeks as you wipe the tears away. “Better?”

Dean gulps. “Sure,” he says as a huge smile returns to his face. He takes a deep breath and tries to move as close as the cuffs will let him.

“What are you doing?” You ask with a slight laugh.

“I just, I just wanna be close to you, Y/N,” he says and it makes you blush a little.

You smile and look at how happy he appears. Something that you have never seen before. “Dean?” You ask cautiously.

“Yes, my Love?” He answers sweetly.

“I mean this in the kindest way possible,” you smile trying to reassure your statement, “But I’d rather you not be so close cause you kind of smell like trash.” You watch as his smile changes and he moves away from you.

“Oh,” he says with sadness in his voice. He leans his head down and smells himself. “Oh,” he says again, understanding what you meant.

“Yeah,” Sam says, “I wasn’t gonna say anything cause I didn’t think it was that important but yeah. It’s really bad.”

“Oh?” Dean looks at Sam then back at you. He looks at you with a bright grin. “I can fix it!” He says, starting to wiggle around the seat.

“Dean? What are you doing?” You ask, worried that he’s trying to break out of his cuffs. He starts to bite at his shirt.

“Dude!” Sam says, as Dean tries to grab his shirt with his teeth. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m trying to,” he grabs the hem of his shirt with his teeth. He wriggles around causing his shirt to come off of him. His shirt comes completely off with it getting tied up in his cuffs. He takes a deep breath. “I was trying to take my shirt off so I didn’t smell like trash. See?” He looks at you as you look at him shocked on how he managed to do that among other things. “It’s better, right? Now we can be close again!” He smiles excitedly.

Dean was now in his boxers, without a shirt, handcuffed.

“Um…” You look at shirtless Dean which is a sight that you have indeed seen before but still, it was different now. “It’s not that much better,” you say, still in shock.

“I can take off my boxers!” he exclaims as he tries to pull them down.

“No!” you yell.

“No!” Sam copies.

You reach for his boxers trying to keep them from coming down. “No, no, no, no, no, no. No,” you say, making sure he gets the message.

“You sure?” Dean asks.

“Yes!” Sam yells.

“I’m, uh,” your voice cracks, “I’m sure.” You smile and take a breath.

“I just want to be close to you, Y/N! Close enough so that I can hold you and kiss you and fe--”

“Stop!” You say, trying to cut him off before the rating becomes R. “Nope! No need for any of that.” You look at Dean who still is enchanted by you.

“Whatever you say, my Love.”

“Right,” you say, mustering up another smile. You think for a moment if you would rather wrestle semi-naked Dean in order to get him to put on a shirt that smells like garbage or, rather sit in silence with a semi-naked Dean sitting as close as he possibly can to you. Out of your own self control and respect for Dean, you chose the latter.

-------------------

After a long and grueling car ride complete with Romeo spitting out one complement after another, you were finally home. You had pulled up in the garage and were extremely thankful to see Cas waiting for you all.

Sam opened the car door and got out trying to stretch his limbs. “Hey, Cas,” he said.

“Hello,” Cas said, giving Sam a nod. “Where’s Dean?”

“Yo!” You called out from the backseat. Castiel walked over to the window. “Right here.”

“Why is he in his underwear?” He asks, tilting his head at you.

“Long story. Just do your thing,” you say with a smile. You hop out of the car and let Cas slide in.

“What?!” Dean says, trying to break free, “No! Don’t touch me!”

“Hello, Dean,” Cas says as he reaches his two fingers to Dean’s forehead.

“Y/N! Y/N! Don’t let them take my love for you away!” He tries to squirm away unsuccessfully. “I love yo--”

Dun

--------------------

You, Cas, and Sam all look at, once again, an unconscious Dean, lying on the bed in the infirmary. Dean’s shirt has been put back on, though he still is in his boxers, and is handcuffed to the bed frame.

“You think you can cure him?” Sam asks Cas.

“It depends,” he answers.

“On what?” You ask.

“She was experimenting around and this same spell has caused other men to die. Correct?” You and Sam nod. “When it comes to a new spell, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact problem. And on top of that, this is the first one that has been successful. Not to mention that this witch is extremely old and powerful.”

You and Sam look at each other and you ask again, “So? Can you fix it?”

Cas sighs. “I can try but I cannot promise that I can fix it.”

Sam signals for Cas to go over to Dean. Cas sits on the edge of the bed and places his palm on Deans forehead. His hand lights up and as does Dean’s skeleton. You and Sam give each other a worried look. Cas then closes his hand and gets back to where he was standing.

“So?” You ask. “Did y--”

Dean wakes up and gasps. He tries to sit up but can’t due to the handcuffs. You and Sam run over to Dean’s side.

“Dean!” Sam says as his brother tries to calm down.

“What the...” Dean takes a look around but stops and looks to be in pain. Dean yells out, scrounging up his face.

“Dean!” Sam says again. “Wh--What is it?!”

“My head!” Dean screams. You then take a key to uncuff one of his hands which he immediately uses to rub his head.

“Dean! Are you alright?” You ask, helping Dean to sit up.

Dean gets himself under control and sits on the edge of the bed. “I’m hungover and in pain!” He yells at you. “What the hell is going on? Why am I handcuffed to this stupid bed?!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sam says, trying to calm down Dean. “Just take it easy alright. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I, uh,” Dean shakes his head, “I remember this morning.”

“Good. That’s good.” Sam smiles. “What else do you remember?”

“I remember you waking me up and then you said something.” Dean shifts his focus to Sam. “What was it that you said?”

“I said we had a long drive and I mentioned that you wouldn’t let me or--”

“Y/N!” Dean sees you and his eyes turn into a brighter and more intense shade of green for a moment. He changes back into the more love sick persona. “I remember everything,” he says with a happier tone, “well, kind of.”

“You do?” You ask as you can tell that something is different about him yet again.

“Yeah,” he looks around the room instead just at you. “I remember getting hit in the head a lot which is making things sort of fuzzy. But I do remember,” he pauses to look at you right in the eyes, “I remember that I love you, Y/N.”

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Hope you enjoyed it!

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Chapter four: Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man

@crazybutconfidentaf @doctorlilo

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kyber-kisses · 4 years

Text

Forgiveness Is Warm

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: character death, MoC!Dean, cursing, blood, ANGST, based on 10x22, hella violent, (THIS IS A PRETTY DARK FIC FOLKS.)

Summary: Dean is slowly losing his hold on the mark, but can he reign it in before anyone else gets hurt?

A/n: I think I’m hardwired to write angst so once again I apologize to all my readers for dragging you through this . . . Again. And it definitely won’t be the last time, full warning. (GIF not mine. Credit to owner.)

It wouldn’t come off.

It wouldn’t fucking come off.

Dean had been scrubbing his hands raw for the last five minutes, desperate to get the blood off, clear it from under his nails and his knuckles and palms, but they still looked like they had been dip dyed in crimson.

Why wouldn’t it just fucking come off?

The scrubbing became more vicious with each passing second, all the anger and hate he had for himself was turning into a roiling boil inside his chest.

He never should have taken the mark. He should have listened to Cain. He could have found another way of getting rid of Abaddon. Maybe chopped her up into pieces and encased her in cement? Locked her in a shipping crate and tossed her into the ocean?

Anything would have been better than this outcome. The mark had turned him into something he didn’t want to be, and it had cost him everything.

When he momentarily looked up from his reddened hands he almost didn’t recognize the face staring back at him. There were still speck of blood on his face, and he had dark bags under his eyes, the rest of his features pale and dull. Even his eyes looked off, like they were empty and cold.

Sam and Cas were probably already tracking him down, but he couldn’t let them catch up, and he definitely couldn’t go back. . . Not after what he had done.

*. *. *. *. *.

Charlie’s death was the straw that broke the camels back. It was simple. Ever since the Styne family stepped onto the Winchesters playing field and butchered the innocent red head, Dean was a tightly wound coil of anger and bloodlust that could not be loosened.

After being temporarily caught, he proceeded to slaughter every Styne within the household before heading back to the bunker to finish the the job. The same level of anger hung over him the entire way.

The Bunker was quiet when he entered through the garage, casually taking about the remaining Stynes as he maneuvered the hallways, which were cluttered with belongings that were no longer resting in their rightful places. Your shirts and journal were thrown about, along with Sams lore books, and as he passed his own room he saw the place completely ransacked.

It no longer looked like home.

And before he knew it, he was emptying the last bullet in his gun into the head of the youngest Styne, his body dropping to the library floor like a sack of bricks.

“Dean, what did you do?”

Your voice came out of nowhere, making Dean turn slowly on his heel, lowering his weapon. You shouldn't be here. You were supposed to be with Cas and Sam.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He spoke slow, his voice calm and stern at the same time.

“What. Did. You. Do?” This time your tone more forceful as you stepped up into the library, your blade gripped tightly at your side.

“I took down a monster. It’s what I do.” He explained, tucking his gun back into his waistband. “And I will continue to do that, until-“ he shrugged.

“Until you become one yourself.” You finished, eyes taking in his blood splattered clothes and eerily relaxed posture.

“You can leave now, y/n.”

Your jaw clenched as you took bold steps forward, stepping over the bodies dividing you, “No. I’m not leaving. I care about you-“

Dean cut you off before you could finish, stalking forward, the mark on his arm fueling his anger tenfold.

“Really? Let me ask you something: if you really cared about me, then why did you screw me over just like Sam and Cas did?” His voice growing ever sharper as he bore down on you, but you stood your ground. You weren’t afraid of him.

Your Dean was still somewhere in there. You just had to find him.

“We were trying to help cure you! We still are!”

“Like hell.”

Your face fell at his words, his gaze on you felt foreign, nothing like what you were used to. “I thought you trusted me.”

“There was a time in which I did. I don’t think that’s the case anymore.” He explained, turning on his heel once more, clearly moving to leave. You halted his movements when you brought a hand down on his shoulder, gripping him tightly. His faded green eyes looking down at your hand before moving to your face. “The price to get this thing off my arm is going to be paid in blood, you know that. I would rather pass on that option.”

Your grip tightened even more, but Dean didn’t flinch, “Maybe you could fight the mark, maybe for centuries like Cain did, but you cannot fight it forever. And when you finally turn- and you will, Sam and I will be long dead. Cas will have to watch you murder the world. If there’s even a chance of saving you, I will not let you walk out of this room.”

“Oh you think you have a choice?”

“I think the mark is changing you.”

“You’re insane.”

Your eyes blazed as you stood toe to toe with him, feeling your own anger bubbling through your veins, mixing with the sadness that was ever lingering. “Am I? Because the Dean Winchester I know and love would never have murdered that child.”

Dean glanced over his shoulder, eyeing the fresh corpse behind him, “Yeah, well I always thought that Dean was kind of a dick.” He shrugged, trying to push past you once more, but you held him back yet again.

“I don’t want to have to hurt you.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.”

And then you did the last thing you ever expected yourself to do. Your brought your hand back quickly, and then listened to the loud crack of the back of your palm connecting with his cheek.

You didn’t see the next thing coming either. Once again you were completely caught off guard.

Because all of a sudden Deans hand wrapped around your raised wrist, quickly twisting it and letting the snap of bone echo through the room. The movement making you dip lower, right into the path of Deans fist, there was another sicken crack as it met your nose. You stumbled back, quickly wiping the blood running from your nostril before advancing again.

You got in two good punches before he gained the upper ground, grabbing you by the collar and slamming you against the nearest surface. You let out a yell as you threw your head back, successfully connecting it with his chin and making his hold on you loosen. He certainly wasn’t holding back with force. Not. At. All.

And then his arms wrapped around you, and he was throwing you full force across the mostly cleared floor of the library, your body slamming into the pile of books behind you.

“Now stay out of my way.” Dean warned, giving you one last glare before stalking towards the bunker steps.

“That’s not gonna happen.”

Slowly you rose to your feet, using the back of your hand to wipe away the blood seeping out of your newly busted lip. You weren’t gonna let him leave that easily.

No way.

Dean was so deeply under the spell of the mark that he wasn’t processing what he had done, or what he was doing because he halted, spun, stalked back towards you, and threw his fist forward again, your head whipping back from the immense force that was his knuckles. His hand found your throat, and like a python constricting it’s prey, he began to squeeze. You clawed desperately at his wrists, silently begging for him to let go.

He only released when your eyes began to roll back into your skull, making you fall to the floor as you tried sucking in the much needed air you had just been lacking.

But Dean wasn’t finished.

Because he grabbed your shoulders, pinning your weakened and battered body to the ground, “I told you to stay out of my way.”

Beneath him, your body felt like it was in a cage, your back digging into the wooden floors, trapping you between his heaving body and the ground.

It was worse than you thought. So much worse. And as you lay there, weakly struggling against your hold, your mind fed you one terrifying thought. You might not be walking out of this bunker.

As Dean reached over across the floor, fingers wrapping around the handle of your blade, he kept his eyes trained on you. They never shifted, never wavered. They were cold and callous, and nothing like the bright jade ones you had looked into so many times before.

But he was still in there. You felt it in your gut.

You let out a shaky breath when you felt the blade break through the fabric of your shirt, the tip pressed lightly into your chest.

And for the first time that night, Dean Winchester hesitated. His eyes locking into your s like he was trying to search for something. For what, you didn’t know.

His fingers flexed around the blade again before he pushed down a bit harder, earning a strangled cry from you. The mark was winning.

You accepted your fate right then and there as you looked up at him. You hoped beyond anything that Cas and Sam could find a way to save him.

Your muscles aches as you raised a shaky hand to his cheek, pressing your palm gently against his face, the scruff beneath slightly tickling your skin. Dean stilled, jaw clenching as he looked down at you. Your lip was busted open, and blood was still running freely from your right nostril, your face scattered with slowly forming bruises.

You blinked through tear filled eyes, your thumb slightly dancing across the soft skin of his cheek as you tried to search for any trace of your Dean. The Dean you loved. He was still in there. He had to be. This was the marks doing, not his.

“It’s okay, Dean. I forgive you.”

You need him to know that. Dean was still in there, and when Sam and Cas save him, you needed him to know that you didn’t blame him for this. It was the mark using him as a puppet.

There was a band of intense band of three second silence, and then Dean pulled back and sank the blade into your chest, burying it up to the hilt.

You gave one last shuddered breath, and your hand dropped from his face.

And then Dean Winchester was well a truly alone.

It took another five seconds for the marks grip on him to loosen, and then almost like a blindfold being ripped from his eyes, Dean was back. His eyes brows drew together, not fully processing what his eyes were seeing, and then he was scrambling back, pulling his hand away from the handle of the blade as if it were fire.

“No,no,no,no,no-“ Deans voice cracking as he scrambled to his knees, hands hovering over the hole in your chest, the blood steadily flowing from it and making a growing stain of crimson. The blade was still sheathed firmly in your chest. His own hands covered in the sticky, red substance.

This was just a nightmare. Just another mark endured nightmare, all he had to do was wake up. He would wake up in his own bed, in the quiet of the bunker, where you were safe and alive. . . And breathing.

Dean ran his hands through his hair, slightly pulling on it in hopes of yanking himself back into reality, “just wake up, just wake up. Y/ns fine. She’s just down the hall, peacefully asleep. She’s fine, all you gotta do is wake up.” He whispered, eyes squeezing shut as he prayed for a way out.

But when he opened them again, you were still there, your body still and a deep red flower blooming out across your shirt.

You were still lifeless in front of him, and you would be staying that way, because this wasn’t in his head. This was his worst nightmare playing out in reality, and nothing could change that.

*. *. *. *. *. *.

The horrific memory played in a constant loop inside his head, trapping Dean in those moments. Ever since he left the bunker, what he had done to you under the marks influence had been coming back in chunks, just quick flashes in his head until he finally had every piece laid out.

He had lost his control over the mark.

You had been trying to help him.

He attacked you.

He-

Dean closed his eyes again, continuing to viciously scrub at his hands. It was at the point in which it was beginning to hurt, but he didn’t care. He deserved it. He deserved every ounce of pain inflicted upon him after what he had done to you.

The image of your battered face caused him to tense, his jaw clenching as he quickly shut off the water and gripped the sides of the sink.

“Fuck.” He breathed out, head hanging low as he felt his heart slam into his rib cage. It almost felt like the damn thing was trying to escape.

It was probably for the best if it did, because then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much.

It’s okay, Dean. I forgive you.

I forgive you.

And then Dean Winchester cracked.

Or more like shattered. He was like a heavily cracked pane of glass, all you had to do was apply the tiniest bit of pressure and the whole thing breaks into a million pieces.

His knees buckled and before he could register it he was sliding down the wall next to the sink, head falling into his hands as sobs racked his body, seemly coming out of nowhere.

He had loved you. He had loved you more than he thought humanly possible to love another person. . . And he had ended your life.

And yet for some reason, you had forgiven him. You knew he was going to push that blade in, and yet, you forgave him.

You forgave him.

With his knees tucked firmly against him, Dean allowed himself to break down, right there on the bathroom floor of the dingy motel room.

And there he stayed.

The End.

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oboe-she-didnt · 3 years

Text

I just finished watching the X-Files and I have a lot of thoughts

Yes it’s 2021 and I’ve finally finished a show I should have seen ages ago. Normally I might make a YouTube video with all my thoughts but I feel like doing something more immediate and since no one I know has seen it...here I go.

Going in nearly blind (besides knowing “Mulder’s the believer and Scully’s the skeptic” thank you ATS, Mulder/Scully is one of the quintessential ships of fandom history, and there was a reboot or something a couple years ago) I found myself rather hooked from the beginning. I enjoyed the practical effects, the seasons-long mysteries (though sometimes not knowing the answers got frustrating), and the way the show managed to stay fresh for its original 9 season run. It was definitely a well-crafted show with a good balance of monster of the week episodes (further divided into procedural monster of the week - your average monster/witch/freak of science killing random people - and character-based monster of the week - the haunted house on Christmas is the first episode that comes to mind) and lore/mythology building episodes (everything tying back to the alien conspiracy aka anything that said “Written by Chris Carter”)

I can see where the Mulder/Scully chatter has come from. I was definitely shipping them very early on, and not just in a “ooh they’re rivals so of course I’m gonna ship them” kind of way I was expecting going in. They are one of those examples of fictional soulmates, platonic, romantic, two people who are essential in the others’ lives. They are the epitome of “the best romances come from people who work well together”. Literally. They balance each other, even when sometimes the roles would get flipped. You need a logician and you need a believer in your search of The Truth. I also appreciated overall it seemed an equal balance between each of the pair getting “damseled”. It wasn’t Mulder saving Scully all the time (another thing I was kind of expecting). The one thing I’m still puzzling over is which one I would consider the one main protagonist, if I had to choose. My gut says Scully, she’s the audience insert brought into this fantastical world who grows to open her mind a little. But by the end, it’s Mulder who has all his questions answered, his purpose for coming to the X-files complete. Mostly. Pretty much. There’s always another conspiracy, though.

I will stand by my early observation that my absolute favorite parts of the show are Scully’s right arching eyebrow and Mulder’s inability to function like a normal human when she’s out of the office. I never thought I’d get emotional over pencils stuck to the ceiling but it happened.

And now a rundown of thoughts on all the main characters...

Mulder: Two things I said most often to the TV: “you cheeky little shit, you’re gonna get yourself killed” and “oh honey I want to give you a hug!” I also wish I had done a little more BTS research besides figuring out where and when to watch the 2 movies because that would have saved my two season litany of “he’s gotta come back, they wouldn’t kill one of the main characters off offscreen, he’s written and directed episodes, I would have heard at some point if he got fired, Chris Carter’s just pulling a conspiracy of his own, he’s fucking with the audience by pulling him off the credits, right right RIGHT?” and then I should have figured out the reboot was LITERALLY STILL THEM so that would have saved my The Truth litany of “well all his mysteries are solved so I guess his arc’s complete, it’s a supernatural show so I GUESS you can kill off one of the mains in the finale, but there’s too much build up to save him, I would have heard about it if it had THAT kind of ending, right right RIGHT?”

Scully: Two things I said most often to the TV: “Yes you go girl!” and “oh honey I want to give you a hug!” Gillian gets all the credit for wearing those fucking heels for that long and probably didn’t get paid enough for it (though I appreciated their little callout to it in the movie episode). I’m glad they only went to the mystical pregnancy well once, though the build-up was a little too heavy-handed. I can’t wait to rewatch and see the gradual development of her knowledge and understanding, so much so that by the time it becomes her and Doggett as the team, Scully is absolutely without question the “Mulder”.

I also would say, about both of them, that they need a vacation...which they did get...probably not the vacation I was hoping for them.

And now for many less thoughts about the rest:

Skinner: flip-flopped maybe a couple too many times for my liking. Wish we knew a little more about him. Definitely the first person to ship the two of them.

The Lone Gunmen:

AKA “ahh it’s my boys!” (me squealing every time I saw their actors’ names appear in the credits). Nice little extension of the team and interesting to see technology from “back then”. Loved how they used their stories as little breathers after really heavy two-parters.

Frohike: adorable little grump who knows his kung fu

Langly: did he just choose not to cut his hair for 9 years or did they not let him?

Byers: marry me

Smoking Man: or whatever nickname you want to call him. Yes, I know they revealed his name but I’m not bothered to look it up now. The definition of “you aren’t dead in a supernatural show unless you die on screen” (though he goes and breaks that trope too because hey fan service!). Had me saying “ugh this bitch” every time he appeared on screen so I guess he got the job done.

Krycek: also had me saying “ugh this bitch” and I wish I didn’t learn his actor’s name so early on so I would be more surprised when he showed up in later seasons. I think he worked pretty well as a secondary bad guy and is another I’ll be watching more for in my rewatch.

Marita: grew more tired of her the longer she stayed on. Became less interesting when she was revealed to be in with the Syndicate. Nice to have another female character, though.

Jeffrey Spender: my catchphrase with him was “I wanna slap his little weasel face”. I figured out who he was before it was revealed, though that I blame on my ability to recognize actors...unless it was supposed to be an easy enough twist to figure out? (I guess the actor made enough of an impression in the “greatest hits of Smoking Man: America’s assassin” episode for them to want to keep him around). Did not like him one bit until Season 9. Then my thoughts were mainly “JEFF!? They’re entrusting the safety of William to JEFF!?”

William: okay the episode “William” was pretty much me saying “what the FUCK was that?” and I’m mad I didn’t figure out the Jeffrey twist that time. As for the character, kid deserves better. I was waiting for a Once Upon a Time style knock on the door “hey, I think you’re my mom” at some point but NOPE he had a purpose and they were sticking to it! The ambiguous powers (AKA which came first, this or Stranger Things 2?) were a little annoying, I suppose, but there wasn’t enough time, or interest, to explore it all. Also, pandemic? That sure hit differently to a viewer today than it would have a couple years ago holy shit.

Doggett: didn’t like him at first, which I guess you’re not supposed to, but then he turned into a big old teddy bear. Whatever happened to him? Dude deserved a shout-out in the reboot.

Reyes: loved her from the start, a different kind of “Mulder”. HATE what they did to her in the reboot. I thought she and Doggett were supposed to live happily ever after.

Okay, I think I’m pretty much out of thoughts for now. Excuse me as I start watching all over again, free of some of this “what’s gonna happen next?” anxiety since I now know where it’s all going.

#xfiles #x files #mulder #scully #mulder and scully #first time viewing

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