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inknopewetrust · 3 years

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Here is the first of many recommendations of my favorite fanfictions. Now, this is not a cumulative list of everything I've ever read, but it is what I've been enjoying most recently or can’t get over, and the ones I immediately believe deserve recognition and further exposure.

I hope those who decide to read these fics enjoy them as much as I have, and to those who I've included, thank you for sharing your gift with this community and continue pursuing your passion.

Golden Cages // @aniqua

Aleksander Morozova x Sun!Summoner Reader x Malyen Oretsev // Firstly, let’s establish one thing: I am not the biggest fan of sun!summoner readers because of the initial reaction to Alina being one originally—but this fic is just *chef’s kiss.* It’s amazing. That’s plain and simple, taken as fact, an honest opinion and I love it. Plus I didn’t think I’d like Mal as much as I do in this?? I am a strictly Darkling girl and that surprised me a lot. A true testament to the writing and how it makes me feel.

Brighter Than the Sun // by @holden-caulfield

Aleksander Morozova x Reader // This is shorter compared to many of the other works on the list, but nevertheless angsty, heartbreaking, and truly invokes a sadness in the readers heart. Good angst writers know how to capture every sense needed to feel tension and truth, to which this author does spectacularly in less than 400 words.

Five Times Olivia Benson Thought She Saw Sparks Fly (Plus the One Time She Saw Them For Herself) // by @hurricanejjareau and @qvid-pro-qvo

Rafael Barba x Gender Neutral Reader // Words cannot describe how much I love this fic. It is so wonderfully written and full of love, longing, and ultimately an adorable resolution. This was one of the first Barba fics I had ever read on here, and it certainly has remained a favorite. It’s a fantastic collaboration between great writers.

I Can’t Hold You Now (And God, it Kills Me) // by @qvid-pro-qvo

Rafael Barba x Reader // I absolutely adore fics that follow canon is some way, shape, or form. As a direct insert into 17 x 10—Townhouse Incident—it feels incredibly natural to the storyline. There isn’t a heavy backstory on the reader and I love it. It’s about the characters, their relationships to one another, and the revelation of reader’s relationship with Rafael. I am just smitten with this fic!

Masterlist // by @thatesqcrush

I know this isn't what is usually on a fanfiction rec list, but ya'll, I have enjoyed ever single fic I've ever read from this author. From Rafael Barba to Bryan Kneef to Nevada Ramirez and more, there are few who write them all exquisitely as she does. So, I couldn't just choose one because I love them all. They're beautifully written, sexy as hell, and leave me wanting more every time I finish reading one. (These are 18+ so don’t go reading unless you’re of age!)

Sham, Pride, and Illicit Affairs // by @peeterparkr

Anthony Bridgerton x Reader // Seriously one of the best, if not the best, Anthony Bridgerton x Reader stories. It is exquisitely written and immediately pulls you in and asking for more. The reader is written in a way that feels natural, a continuation or addition to the story we know rather than an obvious insert. I cannot say enough wonderful words about this fic, so if you are a Bridgerton fan, you have to read this fic!

We'll Meet Again // by @siren-meets // on Ao3

Ronald Speirs (Band of Brothers) x OFC // I have read this story over and over again because it is simply amazing. Eleanor is the perfect OC to pair with Ron; their story is believable, the writing is respectful and flows so well with the episodic drama BoB so gracefully produces. Reading this, you can see the care and love put into the interpretation of each character (which is absolutely spot on), as well as the steadfast effort to make the female OC nothing like we'd expect her to be.

Dance With Me // by @zim-zam-goddamn

George Luz (Band of Brothers) x Reader // This fic is so heartwarming and cute. It's a really great interpretation of how Rick Gomez portrays George Luz, almost exactly what I'd imagine the character to be like if the situation were real. I think that speaks to the testament of how well BoB writers understand the characters and how to further them on the page (or computer, or cellphone, or where ever someone reads fics).

A Punchable Face I Want to Kiss // by @prurientpuddlejumper

Frederick Chilton (Hannibal) x Reader // This entire series is phenomenal. Chilton is a character you shouldn’t like. Irredeemable qualities, malpractice, etc., etc., but 1. Raúl Esparza and 2. this author knows how to make you love the character. It’s masterfully written, incredibly spicy, and full of heart I wasn’t expecting. An Absolutely wonderful series. (Chapter 1 is linked!)

Death of a Bachelor // @delos-mio

Logan Delos (Westworld) x Reader // I read this months ago and still think about it. Its a detailed, original story that I can get behind and it includes an entire trip to a city I hold very near and dear to my heart (it’s so descriptive and accurate too!) Definitely one of my favorite Logan stories written on any of the platforms. Plus Ben Barnes is having a MOMENT right now and Logan is one of my favorite characters of his.

#fanfiction recommendation #fanfiction rec list #x reader #x female reader #x gender neutral reader #shadow and bone x reader #darkling x you #the darkling x reader #band of brothers x reader #anthony bridgerton x reader #logan delos x reader #hannibal x reader #bridgerton x reader #westworld x reader #rafael barba x reader #frederick chilton x reader #ronald speirs x reader #george luz x reader #mal oretsev x reader

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withered-pages-blog · 7 years

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Liar 9/? (Tom Riddle Jr/Voldemort Imagine)

The rest of the day went by slowly but without any hiccups and all the while you were dreading detention. You were exhausted, physically and mentally. Shuffling from foot to foot to the library, you sat down on the nearest chair and rested your head against your folded arms, allowing yourself a moment’s rest.

A moment turned into five minutes, then ten, fifteen and finally twenty before the presence of someone shuffling in front of you had you jump awake. Head thrown up and eyes darting, you slumped as green eyes greeted you.

“Long day I heard.” The boy had a stack of books by his side and you groaned, “You have no idea, Green-Eyes.”

“Sterling.” He said, flicking through pages carelessly before tossing the book and picking up another from his pile, “My name is Sterling.“

“What are you doing here, Sterling?” You asked, cheek resting against your fist. “Same as you,” he sighed, brushing dark locks from his forehead. “Detention.”

A laugh escaped and you quickly covered it with a cough. “Convincing.” He teased, eyes meeting yours for a moment before returning to the pages.

“What’s a Ravenclaw doing in detention?” Raising an inquisitive brow at the boy, you examined the books. All Transfiguration. “I went into the restricted section.” A smirk spread across your face as you scanned the covers, “Why? Looking for something in particular?”

Sterling nodded slowly and was about to respond, but decided to slide an open book across the table to you, tapping the illustration on the page with his finger. A wild dog snarled on all fours under the moonlight, surrounded by other mysterious creatures. Squinting at the text by the interesting picture, you read through it slowly. It was human transfiguration - how to become an Animagus.

“You’re ahead in Transfigurations?” You blinked at Sterling and he smiled lightly, “Something like that.”

Furrowing your brows as you looked from him back to the page, you scanned over the text carefully, intrigued by the contents within the book. Step by step instructions were present and you had to go over the paragraphs a few times before you actually absorbed it. Humming softly as Sterling watched you read, the two of you jumped when someone cleared their throat.

“Y/N, I thought I reminded you of your detention with me this afternoon.” That usually condescending voice sounded irritated or even angry. Snapping your book shut and sliding it across the table to the equally startled brunette, you looked up at Riddle, eyes wide.

“This is where I always serve detention, I thought you’d meet me here.” Tom glared down at you and you suddenly wanted to shrink into yourself, standing and flashing Sterling an apologetic look, “Let’s chat later, alright?” The green-eyed boy stared at you, brows raised, before slowly nodding and taking a hold of the book you’d returned.

Turning away from Sterling and taking the annoyed Slytherin’s side to leave but stopped mid-step to swiftly return to Sterling, arms wrapping around his neck tightly in a hug. The library was silent, save for your breathing and the shocked brunette’s heartbeat against you.

“Don’t move.” You warned before slowly pulling away and meeting his startled eyes. He said nothing, but his eyes told you he understood and you smiled thankfully, intentionally avoiding Tom’s hard face - he hadn’t seen you reach into your own pocket and pluck a small, green critter and hand it to the mocha-skinned boy ahead.

You felt intimidated when you realized Riddle was glaring at you from the corner of his eye as you walked side by side in silence. It seemed as if after a while, the Slytherin couldn’t stand it anymore and broke it. “Future detentions will be held at the library, but we need to redo our Shrinking solution.”

You nodded, sighing softly as the day’s events replayed in your mind. “You told me it was Hornby who put leeches down my back,” the door swung open and you let out a deep sigh, “Did she say why?”

“You and the Ravenclaw boy, Mathers.” He tutted and you raised your brows, “What about him?” The two of you turned into the potions classroom and you blinked, everything was already set up.

“You have everything ready?” Eyes finding his, Tom clenched his jaw, “Of course, I’m not nearly as unorganized as the rest of our class.” You flinched lightly and examined all the jars, the contents and all the creatures you now hated. You kept your distance.

“I find it distasteful.” You nearly stopped mid-step. “Excuse me?” Jaw hanging open, you turned to glare at him. Tom went on as if he hadn’t said a thing and it infuriated you.

“Did Olive tell you why she did what she did?” You repeated through gritted teeth, swiping jars and shakily unscrewing their lids. “She didn’t, no.” The brunette turned the wooden spoon without even the wave of his hand and you were finding it particularly distracting.

“Well I suppose I’ll have to ask her myself, then.” You raised the jar above the cauldron to empty its contents and Tom’s hand shot out to grab your wrist tightly, eyes on the book. “Stop this nonsense now.” You blinked at him sarcastically, “I’m not doing anything, Riddle.”

He pulled you close and with an all newly penetrative set of eyes, glared at you, lips thinned into an unamused frown and eyes wild with colour. “I don’t care how you handle yourself but while you’re with me you will handle yourself with poise, do you understand? I won’t have you tarnish my grades.” Riddle’s tone was low and menacing and yet somehow he was entrancing.

You nodded slowly, trying not to flinch away from his even breaths over your face. “I just want to be left alone.” You confessed, Tom had made you feel ashamed for being bullied, for being made a fool of.

“You’ve always responded exactly the ways they want you to,” Tom released you and passed, his robe caressing you gently and making you shudder. “You always give them a source of entertainment.”

You wanted to argue, to deny all of this, but you knew he was right and you blushed, feeling your pride crumble as you opened your mouth to speak. “What should I do?” Shifting uncomfortably at the silence, you forced your self to face Tom, who was looking from you to the cauldron and then back at you as if contemplating something.

“I wouldn’t know, that Hornby girl wouldn’t dare do to me as she did to you.” You swallowed loudly, you knew Tom was talented, more and more every day, but before your run-in with him you’d have never imagined he was threatening and wondered if he would become violent.

“Why?” You asked meekly and this seemed to for lack of a better word, brighten Tom’s mood - you’d sparked his interest, finally. A faint smirk found his lips and he tilted his head toward the cauldron.

“Because I’m smart,” he started, shrugging off his robe and folding it neatly on a nearby table. “I wouldn’t ever be caught in such vulnerable positions.” As if mentoring a child, he spoke to you in what you assumed was an unintentionally condescending tone. “You open yourself up to attack too often, Y/N. You always have.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, “How would you know?” Tom’s smirk faltered for a moment as if he’d been caught out and it took a moment for you to catch on, your heart doing flips. “You’ve been keeping an eye on me?” You nearly whispered and Tom tutted, “Of course not, I hardly care that you spend your free time squabbling with Malfoy but the two of you get so loud it’s difficult not to notice.”

Heart thrumming, you nodded and turned your gaze to the cauldron, internally wishing to press more. Why did the knowledge that Tom had noticed you before this somehow make you feel accomplished? “He’s very easy to manipulate, but so are you.” You frowned, brows furrowed and lips pursed. “How am I easily manipulated?”

Tom’s dark eyes seemed to sparkle in the low light of the setting sun and from this angle, eyes hooded, lips curled, he looked breathtaking. “You just proved it. I called you easy and you reacted exactly as I expected.” You rolled your eyes and forced yourself to look elsewhere, fingertips tingling with a strange heat.

“Pouting is for children, Y/N.” You let out a long groan and dragged your fingers down your face, straightening it before turning to Tom and batting your lashes at him sarcastically. He didn’t seem amused.

You watched the potion brew in an uncomfortable silence, scolding yourself for ruining what conversation with Tom before kicking yourself - like you cared what he thought. You were forgetting too easily who he was and what he’d said to you hours earlier. With a renewed anger, you cleared your throat as the potion turned a dark, acidic green within the cauldron.

Riddle pulled his wand from his folded robes and gracefully traced a pattern above the steaming bowl and the flames extinguished, the spoon retreating from the bubbly liquid. "It looks adequate to me. I'll deliver this to Professor Slughorn this evening."

Riddle filled a small glass vial with the thick potion and hummed as he inspected it. "Tomorrow's detention will be in the library, Y/N. I trust you won't be distracted by some Ravenclaw or another."

It took all of your willpower not to shout in anger and so you stood there, sweating and shaking at his petty jab. "I'll see you then, Riddle."

Turning with heavy steps, you heaved angrily all the way to the dungeon and mispronounced the password several times in your frustration. By the time it opened you were already undoing your tie and freeing your hair, fingers running through it messily. You groaned and threw yourself onto your bed, rolling onto your stomach and hugging the pillow close.

Your mind went over everything one more time before you fell prey to exhaustion. You thought of the hex, the leeches, the bowtruckle, you thought of Abraxas, Olive, Sterling and then Tom. Your mind lingered on Tom and your confusing mindset around him. You contradicted yourself with him, you hated him but wanted to please him, to impress him so he would raise his perfectly shaped brow at you and smirk with his pale pink lips.

Shaking your head, you replaced him with that odd illustration from the book you'd read in the library. An Animagus, an interesting topic you'd never really paid any attention to before but was now suddenly speaking to you.

Your eyes fluttered closed and you smiled, you'd ask Sterling about the book the next time you saw him.

#tom riddle #tom riddle jr #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle imagine #tom marvolo riddle #reader insert #reader imagine #gender neutral #slytherin #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hogwarts #harry potter imagine #solo harry #abraxas malfoy #olivia benson #horace slughorn #albus dumbledore #armando dippet

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yougotthat-write · 3 years

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Masterlist!

Warnings are put at the beginning of each piece. I try to keep things gender-neutral. If they are not, it will be stated.

Feedback is always welcome!

You can find my AO3 here.

Enjoy ✨

Last updated: April 28th, 2024!

- - - - -

Rafael Barba (Law & Order: SVU)

Patience (Rafael Barba x Reader) - 2,500+ words

Busy schedules keep you and Rafael away from each other, but good things come to those who wait.

Traitor (Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson x Reader) - 4,500+ words

Even though Rafael Barba is in a committed relationship with you, he can’t help himself from getting closer to Olivia Benson.

Cold (Rafael Barba x Reader) - 1,200+ words

Rafael finds himself needing to leave New York and there’s nothing you can do to stop him.

Tinder (Rafael Barba x Fem! Reader) - 2,400 words

Amanda and Sonny try to find the perfect match for their uptight (and while he would never admit it - lonely) A.D.A.

Treat (Rafael Barba x Reader) - 620 words

You enjoying a treat is a treat in itself for Rafael.

That Guy (Rafael Barba x Reader) - 2,318 words

Rafael needs his daily dose of coffee.

Oui(ji) Had One Hell of a Party! (Rafael Barba x Reader) - 2,758 words

You and Rafael host a Halloween party and it takes a demonic turn.

- - - - -

Law & Order: SVU x NCIS Crossover

United Front (Rafael Barba x Fem! Reader)

Part I: A Case - 7,200+ words

With the rape and death of a high level Naval intelligence officer in Manhattan, America's two toughest crime solving teams must learn to work together. The 16th precinct is wary of the federal agents, but opinions need to be set aside for the greater good of the victim and the country. You might find yourself getting a little too comfortable with a certain prosecutor, but your training prepared you for that... right?

- - - - -

Nevada Ramirez (Trouble in the Heights)

Played (Nevada Ramirez x Fem! Reader) - 18+/NSFW!

Part I

Nevada Ramirez is making a name for himself in the Heights. But he comes across trouble in the form of you.

#rafael barba x reader #masterlist #law & order: svu #ncis #trouble in the heights

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aesthbaby · 4 years

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Master List

★=newest post

Radio Silence -- gender neutral reader

BlackJack -- female reader

Disaster Date -- gender neutral reader

You’re going to be okay -- gender neutral reader

You’re going to be okay pt. 2

Because I love you -- gender neutral reader

Quarantine with Emily would consist of -- gender neutral reader

You’re Not Alone — non male reader

Attention — plus size reader

Attention pt. 2 ★

Rainy Monday — gender neutral reader

Her Secret — gender neutral reader

Lazy day — but through pictures

Ghost — female reader ★

Emily Prentiss tag list

.｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*★*･･*･'･*:..:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*:.o .｡.:*☆

Jemily

Jemily as parents headcanon ★

BAU Team

Pet names each member would call you

——pt. 2

The BAU playing Among Us

Halloween Costumes

Tag list

.｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*★*･･*･'･*:..:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*:.o .｡.:*☆

The Magicians

Margo Hanson

.｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*★*･･*･'･*:..:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*:.o .｡.:*☆

Law & Order: SVU

Olivia Benson x Casey Novak x Alex Cabot x reader (nsfw) ★

.｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*★*･･*･'･*:..:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*:.o .｡.:*☆

Incorrect Quotes

Emily & Derek in an Argument

Comedic quotes with the whole team

.｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*★*･･*･'･*:..:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*:.o .｡.:*☆

Shows I’d write for

Prompt List 1

Prompt List 2

Please be specific w/ your requests.

ie: tell me what show/pairing you want and what prompt(s) you’d like. Also make sure to specify which prompt list you’re using.

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mcgrathandwives · 3 years

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Who I Write for

Hello! Here's a list of what fandoms I write for and a very honest list of who I write for in that fandom, some of which will have all characters and some of which will have specifics as I'm either new to fandom or just really really love those characters the most.

My inbox is ofc always open so if you're unsure please feel free to drop and ask to be sure ☺️

* I do normally write a NB!reader (non-binary) or GN!reader (gender neutral) or reader with the hint of said reader being female, it's also worth noting that I only write romantic storylines for female characters, I will write for male characters but it's always platonic*

- THIS LIST WILL BE UPDATED PERIODICALLY-

• Marvel

All characters from the MCU

All characters from other Marvel films such as: Deadpool, Fantastic Four, X-Men

All characters from the following Marvel TV Shows: Agents of Shield, Agent Carter, Runaways, Jessica Jones, WandaVision

be sure to ask if you're unsure, I write mostly for the MCU and Marvel TV shows however there are some comic characters I do adore and will happily slip them in.

•DC

All characters for the DC films

All characters from the DC TV shows such as: Supergirl, Legends of Tomorrow, Flash, Black Lighting, Lucifer, Gotham, Krypton (season 1)

be sure to ask if you're unsure- I write mostly for the DC films however there are some comic characters that I love and adore so I will slip them in- I'm also aware that some of the animated series has characters not yet established on the big screen yet that I also will write for

• Law and Order: SVU

All characters: specifically Casey Novak, Olivia Benson and Amanda Rollins since those three are my absolute favourites

* I have yet to catch up from season 19 onwards so I may not be familiar with your character but I will either pass you onto some great blogs that can provide you with the content or will keep it on the back burner for when I have caught up

• Riverdale

All characters

• Brooklyn Nine Nine

All characters

* I have yet to catch up from season 5 so please bare with

• Doctor Who

Amy Pond, Thirteen, Yas

• WWE

Becky Lynch, Rhea Ripley, Tegan Noxx, Charlotte Flair, Baliey, Sasha Banks, Paige

• She-Ra and The Princesses Of Power

All characters

• Grey's Anatomy

Meredith Grey, Cristina Yang, Lexie Grey, Addison Montgomery, Callie Torres, (more to be added as in doing my rewatch for the first time in years)

Most male characters

#nemo talks #who i write for #who i write for updated #character list #show lists #film list

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x-bluefire-heart-x · 1 year

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The Morning After

So, I am still writing and still alive. Just had a bit of a break due to work being really busy after the Christmas break.

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault, an anxiety attack, death, violence, drugging, kidnapping and violence. It isn’t explicit but is discussed more than it was in the previous chapters.

Master List

Prompt List

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Tag list: @profoundtyrantharmony @wanniiieeee @zizzlekwum

You woke up with a groan, the pounding in your head reminding you of the mistakes you made last night including your conversation with Rafael and the very strange moment with Nick. You expected the sun light to wake you up but as you looked towards your window you saw the blinds down.

“Thank you Nick,” you muttered.

“No worries,” Nicks amused voice answered from your door way. You shot up, hair a mess and your clothes wrinkled. Oh, thank god you were wearing clothes.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked from the mess that was your bed. Apparently you had made a nest at some stage doing the night and nearly cocooned yourself amongst your quilts and pillows.

“Well, I drove you home after you had about five or six shots of vodka after your whiskey,” Nick began walking forward as he fixed the buttons on his sleeves. “And you had fallen asleep in the car, as I carried you up here you had kind of turned into an octopus and wouldn’t let me go. When I tried to remove your grip on me you started to cry and begged me to stay.”

“….I don’t beg,” you pouted rubbing your forehead. “But the rest sounds about right. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be, honestly it was adorable,” Nick smiled. “There’s a glass of water and some pain meds on your side table. Thankfully you woke up with enough time for a shower and breakfast before work. I’ll get started on the food while you grab a shower.”

You stared after Nick as he left and started making noise in the kitchen. You looked at your side table and grabbed for the water and pain killers. You downed the water suddenly feeling very thirsty. After you finished you struggled out of your little nest and made your way to your wardrobe, grabbing your clothes for the day before making your way past the kitchen and to the bathroom.

“God I feel like shit,” you huffed. “I should not have had those shots.”

You struggled through undressing and showering, half way through the pain meds kicked in and you felt somewhat like a human being. Walking out of the bathroom your stomach rumbled at the smell, you took a seat at the Island bench.

“What are you cooking?” You asked. “I didn’t even know I had food that could smell like this.”

“Eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, spiced tomatoes and toast,” Nick smiled. “You had all of it, I just add flavour.”

“Oh, flavour huh?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, and one day I may cook you a Cuban meal and have you taste some amazing flavour,” Nick said, a cheeky grin on his face as he plated up the food and handed you one. He stood in-front of you eating his. You rolled your eyes, taking a bite and found yourself biting make a moan at the burst of flavour that hit your tongue.

“I can’t even be snarky right now cause this is so fucking good!” You groaned, a sound that was not as bad as it good have been but still made Nick laugh. You looked up at him, he was watching you eat his food with a small, soft smile on his face. You looked away quickly, your face feeling a little warm.

The two of you ate in silence after that, a slow build of awkward silence started and that was something that you weren’t use to with anyone in the squad. You fiddled with your fork as you looked anywhere but Nick before you groaned.

“Alright, what was that about?” Nick asked. “You need some more pain meds?”

“No,” you waved your hand. “I just realised I’m probably gonna have to deal with the ADA soon and I do not know how to handle that.”

“It’ll be okay, I doubt Liv or the Captain will have you be alone with him for a few days,” Nick said picking up your empty plates and placing them in the sink. He turned around leaning against the cabinets and crossing his arms.

“True, but even with other people it will be so tense,” you sighed running your fingers through your hair. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it, the ball is in his court as far as I am concerned. I will be professional. Speaking off, we should probably get going.”

“Well, that’s mighty adult of you Viper,” Nick snarked. “Did you go through a personality change in the shower?”

“Ha ha very funny Detective, why don’t you take that show on the road,” you suggested getting up to collect your gun and badge, and put your shoes on. You grabbed the jacket hanging on the back of your door and went back to meet Nick at the front door of your apartment. He was sliding on his suit jacket, and you couldn’t help but notice his arms flexing under the shirt he was wearing. You felt your mouth go a little dry before you looked away, really not wanting to get into that and what happened last night at the moment. Nick looked up at that moment and smirked a little when he noticed a slight flush to your cheeks. He schooled his features into his normal smile before you looked back.

“Ready?” he asked. “I’ll drive you in since I am already here.”

“Cheers,” you smiled nudging him out your door, grabbing your keys on the way.

“Rafael.” Olivia marched into his office and sat down in the chair in-front of his desk. Rafale slowly put down the paper he was reading and looked up, preparing himself for the look on her face.

“Detective,” Rafael sighed. “Can this not wait un-”

“No, I didn’t let Viper get away with how they acted and I won’t let you,” Olivia interrupted. “It doesn’t matter that you’re not a detective you are apart of our squad.” She leant forward and stared him down. “They apologised, and I know Viper well enough to know that they would have meant it. They also said they talked briefly about their time undercover and that is something they struggle with doing even with me.”

“What?” Rafael asked, looking surprised.

“Whatever they went through was something that seriously affected them and they do not like talking about it, for them to even hint at what they had to do in an attempt to apologise to you says a lot about how sorry they were,” Olivia explained.

Rafael sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, not caring that it almost certainly ruined the way he had styled it that morning, in an attempt to make himself look presentable after his poor decision to drink himself stupid to ignore absolutely everything.

“Look, I’m sure they meant their apology but they did call me an arse and it wasn’t just about the intimidation it was how they acted when I told them that I had no interest in using only a profile to get a warrant,” Rafael explained. “They didn’t respect my choice as the Prosecutor. And they most certainly did not apologise for that.”

“Oh come one Rafi, how many times have I disagreed with you about your choices and pushed for mine?” Olivia asked. “You’re reaching for an explanation for why you treated them the way you did.” She stood up heading towards the door before stopping and turning back. “Viper is the type the person you want on your side, and as a friend. I don’t think there is anything they wouldn’t do for a friend. But on the flip side, continuing to piss them off isn’t great either. Especially, when you have to work with them. Sort your shit out Rafi.”

Rafael watched her leave blinking in disbelief before scoffing and going back to the paper he was reading when she walked in. He did have his shit sorted and no he most certainly was not reaching with his explanation. And fine yes, Olivia did the same thing but he knew Olivia he did not know Viper and that was the difference. He wasn’t overly concerned about having Viper angry at him all the time, he doubted that he would be effected by it much at all they were still a detective for the NYPD and the only that they really could do was just ignore him which suited Rafael fine. He determinedly ignored the feeling growing in his chest at the thought of Viper not looking at him with those eyes of fire, he didn’t understand it at all and refused to even consider that it was partly quilt. Guilt at the look in their eyes before they had turned around.

He gave up on concentrating on the paper he was reading and got up, deciding that he might go for a walk and get another coffee. He definitely needed one and the noise of Manhattan might help to drown out his own thoughts.

Finn raised an eyebrow as you and Nick walked in together. You knew instantly what Finn was thinking due to the fact that Nick was wearing the same clothes as yesterday but before you could even consider opening your mouth to cut that line of thought off at the knees, Finn’s face changed to a cheeky smirk.

“Doing the walk of shame Nick?” he asked walking up to him and lightly tugging on his tie. To your absolute horror Nick didn’t refute that statement instead he laughed, lightly shoving him away.

“A gentleman never tells Finn,” Nick teased. “Not that you would know much about that.”

You groaned lightly walking to your desk, ignoring Finn’s indignant response to Nicks implication. Throwing your jacket onto your chair you sent a glare Nick’s way, no amusement on you face at his Joke. It hit a little too close to the moments that happened between the two of you last night and this morning, something you still did not even want to acknowledge.

“Don’t be an arse Nick,” you said. “Finn, nothing happened. He slept on the couch after making sure I got home after last night.” Finn raised his hands in the air in surrender but still sent a knowing look towards Nick.

“Yeah, how are you feeling?” Amanda asked coming up to your desk looking at the dark circles under your eyes. “You went pretty hard.”

“I honestly feel like death warmed over,” you groaned, flopping into your chair and laying your head on the desk. “Never let me drink like that again.”

“I’d say you were allowed last night,” Finn added his two cents. “Just don’t throw up on me and we’re all good.”

“I don’t throw up,” you muttered.

“Lucky,” Amanda said going back to her desk and looking through her messages. “Oh, by the way Captain wanted to see you.”

“Thanks so much for waiting for me to sit down before telling me,” you snarked getting up. Amanda grinned as you past her.

“You’re welcome.”

Cragen was sitting behind his desk going through the paperwork that came with being a Captain, he had to get everything in order for a Commstat meeting that was coming up to quickly for his liking. He just hoped that no complicated cases came up that would give 1PP a reason to come down hard on SVU. He looked up as you knocked on his door motioning for you to come in.

“Close the door,” he said.

“Oh, it’s one of those meetings is it?” you asked going through everything you have done and trying to see if you had done anything that could have given Cragen a headache, apartment the Rafael situation.

“Probably not the kind you’re thinking of,” he smiled. “But I doubt you will like it all the same.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you took a sit in-front his desk, unsure of what he could mean. You opened your mouth before closing it again.

“Wait, please don’t tell me I need to go an see a therapist or something?” You asked. “I did all of that before coming back and was signed off on everything.”

“No nothing like that,” Cragen waved away your concern. “Though I did want to check in. Olivia updated me about the situation with ADA Barba.”

“Ah,” you muttered rubbing your forehead. You were definitely going to need some more painkillers. “I apologised to him but he apparently decided it wasn’t good enough. I had already decided this morning that I would act in a professional manner with him but nothing beyond that. I think you can find that acceptable?”

Cragen smiled, unsure why he was so surprised that you had already made the decision to behave as he was going to ask you to. He had watched you over the last few weeks since you came back and noticed that although you were still very much the Viper you had been before you left for your undercover work you were also very different. You were quieter, even softer with the victims then you had been before and from your interviews with Paul O’Neil even tougher on the accused.

“That is acceptable,” Cragen agreed. He was concerned for you, not just because of the Rafael situation but also because of the look you would occasionally get when you thought no-one was paying attention. Your face would became entirely blank and you eyes became empty, losing any of the life that normally resided there. Olivia had brought it to him earlier as well and the two of them had agreed that they would do everything they could to help you through it.

“Wonderful, is that everything?” You asked half raising out of your seat waiting to be dismissed.

“Yes, that was all,” Cragen nodded. “But Viper, do try not to glare at Barba. I know you will act professional but we both know that doesn’t mean you won’t glare at him.”

A small sheepish smile graced your face before you wiped it off and nodded, drawing a cross over your heart before leaving. You heard Cragen’s chuckle following you out. Amanda raised an eyebrow as you came back out, you sent her a small smile letting her know everything was all good.

Olivia had come in during the time you had been in Cragen’s office and the look on her face did not bode well. You were unsure if you wanted to ask her about it but the option was taken out of your hands by Finn. You shouldn’t have been surprised, Finn was one of the biggest shit stirrers you had ever met.

“I take it your morning conversation with Barba did not go well,” Finn said an eyebrow raised. “Did he even give a reason for not accepting our Vipers apology?” You felt your heard clench at Finn calling you “theirs”, as in the teams. It had been a so long since you had felt the feeling of home, SVU always gave you that feeling. And it helped you to know that they considered you theirs.

“Don’t start Finn,” Olivia sighed before turning to you. “Apparently he thought you should have also apologised for demanding that he look at your profile and not just intimidating him.”

“You can’t be serious?” Amanda scoffed. “We have all pushed our opinions on a case onto him before and never once has he acted like this.”

“That man is a real piece of work,” Nick growled. The others looked at him surprise, Nick always had a difficult relationship with Rafael but never had they had him speak in such a tone about him before.

You didn’t even know how to process what Olivia had told you. You had thought that perhaps you hadn’t apologised properly but it turns out it was about something entirely different, something that you had done with previous ADA’s and knew that the rest of the squad did as well. It was so common among cops and lawyers, arguing over the way to approach a case and getting warrants. You breathed in deeply closing your eyes and focusing on your heart beat. You could feel it picking up in speed and not in a fun way. Perhaps you weren’t as okay as you told the Captain.

“Viper,” Olivia’s voice was quiet in your ear and a moment after you registered the feeling of her hand on your arm. “Why don’t we go outside for a minute?” You nodded, breathing slow and steady trying to control your breath and heart.

You didn’t make eye contact with the others as you left allowing Olivia to guide you outside. You lent against the wall of the building, digging your fingers into the brick work to try and ground yourself. You felt Olivia take one of your wrist and tap out a rhythm, a slow steady rhythm. Your world narrowed down to that tapping, to the feel of Olivia’s hand on yours. You felt your breaths start to match the tapping, and between the texture of the brickwork and Olivia’s tapping you felt your heart rate slow back to a normal regular pace.

“Better?” Olivia asked, when you opened your eyes and noticed that she was standing directly in-front of you, blocking out the view of other people.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” you said voice a little out of breath. “I’ve-I’ve never experienced that before. That was-”

“An anxiety attack,” Olivia nodded. “They’re definitely not fun especially the first one when there is no warning of it coming on.”

“You’ve had one?” You asked.

“Yeah, after...after Lewis,” she didn’t need to finish. You felt a rage building in your chest at that man. God you wished you had been here during that time. You wouldn’t have let that man live after what he did to her. “Do you have an idea of what could have triggered it? Working that out can help.”

“I don’t know honestly,” you answered. “It just happened.”

“Well, we’ll keep an eye on things and maybe we can work it out,” Olivia smiled. She squeezed your wrist once more before letting go. Just before the two of entered the building again her phone rang. You waited for her to hang up, the look on her face telling you that there was another case.

“A body was found in Central Park, it was dragged out of the water,” Olivia informed you already typing away at her phone. “Come on, I told Cragen we would take it.” You nodded following her to your car. You hadn’t even realised that she had grabbed your jacket until she passed it to you. You slipped it on.

“Any other details?” You asked sliding into the passenger seat.

“The victim is a man, and looks like he was cut up pretty badly, unsure if there was any sexual assault passed that but with the body being in the water the chances of Warner finding any DNA is slim,” Olivia answered.

“Cutting up could mean they were the one that assaulted someone and this was retribution,” you started theorising. “But of course it is also used by people attempting to remove others sexual desire.”

“Warner will be able to tell us more and hopefully they’re in the system,” Olivia answered.

You and Olivia arrived back to the station ready to catch the others up on what you found at the crime scene. It was going to be a difficult gruesome case and you hoped that they weren’t going to be any other victims but you already knew such a hope was a lost cause. Although the attack on the victim was brutal it didn’t give the appearance of someone who knew the victim, there were markings on the wrist and ankles that spoke of restraints. There would be more, and there was no way this was the unsubs first victim, there were probably others that haven’t been identified or found. Your first task was to search through ViCAP.

“What have we got this time?” Cragen asked walking out of his office as you gathered the others around the table and tv area.

“Not much to go on yet, a male victim in his mid to late 30s, Warner estimated his death happened some time around midnight two days ago but they had only been put in the water last night,” Olivia answered. “He was cut up around the top of his thighs and along his genitals but no removal occurred.”

“The unsub most likely didn’t know the victim beyond maybe a few days max, they would most likely have used a ruse to lure them, they also bound the victim at the ankles and wrist,” you took over. “Warner said the blade used to make the cuts was jagged, potentially to make it more painful, Warner is going to do a full blood work but doesn’t think she will find anything. So, we might have no way of knowing if the victim was drugged at all.”

“There was signs of penetration, but Warner doesn’t think she will get any DNA, and it looks like perhaps the knife was used as well,” Olivia finished. “Waiting for any results to come back from their finger prints or DNA, hopefully if they’re not in the system we might get a familiar match.”

“I’m going to put everything into ViCAP and see if there are any other matches, cause it does not seem like this is the Unsubs first time doing this,” you said pulling up ViCAP on the laptop at the table. “At the moment there isn’t much to go on to make a profile, and until we know the sexuality of our victim it’s going to be difficult to know the gender of our Unsub.”

“Right well, not much else we can do for now until we get the results back or Viper pulls up another victim,” Cragen said. “The rest of you I know you have paperwork to be doing to so for now get working on that.”

The others groaned but went to the task as ordered. You settled into the chair and got to work, you knew it was always terrible to hope for other victims but at this stage it was what you needed to get started on the investigation to catch this unsub. At least this helped to keep your mind off of everything. You tuned out all the other noise of the squad room focusing on the screen in-front of you, so you didn’t notice when Nick would look up from his work every few minutes to watch you for a few seconds and then look away. But Olivia and Amanda saw it, and they shared a look, happy to leave things as they were for now but knew that it might be a good idea to talk to Nick.

#law and order svu #rafael barba #Imagine #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #rafael barba x you #Law and Order #Olivia Benson #Nick Amaro #odafin tutuola #Amanda Rollins #captain cragen #rafael barba imagine #Law and Order SVU Imagine

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x-bluefire-heart-x · 1 year

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Time Apart

Hiya! So apologises for the delay in this request my life got a little hectic so didn’t have the time or energy to really write but I have finished this and the other request. I will post it tomorrow.

@gh0stgirl0013 requested a fic where Y/N and Olivia are married and Y/n is out of state undercover and they both meet people that make them question their marriage. I hop you enjoy this and that it was what you wanted from this request. I also hope I made it angsty enough! The reader is gender neutral.

Masterlist

Prompt List

You sat on your hotel bed staring at your phone, Olivia’s number flashing on the screen. Your finger hovered over the accept button but for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to press it. The golden band around your left ring finger glinted in the light coming through the window, you glanced at it as the call finally ended. Normally you know you would receive a voice message, Olivia’s voice telling you she loved you and hoped you were alright and to “please love, call me back when you can” but now, now you were unsure. You were unsure about a lot of things.

The past few months had been difficult, not so much your undercover work, no that that was relatively easy in comparison to the current state of your relationship with Olivia Benson. You had noticed over the time that you had been away from New York that something had changed, Olivia didn’t try to contact you as much and you knew your wife, you knew she was hiding something and feeling guilty. You had been out of state on a joint undercover operation with the FBI, you had been gone for nearly eight months. It was difficulty being away from Olivia at first but as you noticed the change in her and how strained the conversation’s became you started to dread the return to New York and to the apartment you shared with her.

You knew of course about the big take down her squad had just completed after her Captain was framed with murder, and the number of corrupt members of the justice system were taken down. And at first you thought that was the cause of the problem but the guilty look in her eyes that she tried to hide didn’t start until after that, until she started talking about the new ADA that had transferred to Manhattan. Rafael Barba. He was suddenly all your wife could talk about and you knew she was just glad to have a competent ADA. But she slowly stopped talking about him and that was a sign. You knew the man hadn’t left his position as the ADA as you could still find articles about the cases he tried. The articles sometimes included phots of him standing on the steps on the court house. And over time those photos started to always include Olivia standing right beside him. And in nearly every single one of them they were staring at each other. The ones taken close enough allowed you to see the look on her face as she watched him, and you could see a similar look on his face. One that you recognised from photos taken of you staring at your wife.

You sighed and threw your phone onto the bed beside you as you flopped backwards. You threw an arm over your eyes, clenching your jaw as your mind raced. You tried to tell yourself that nothing was going on that it was just looks, that Olivia would never do that to you but a part of you wondered. A small part of you whispered that Olivia was inviting him back to your apartment, to the bed you share with her. That he was sitting at the table you two had picked out together, drinking coffee from your mug. That he was getting to see the cute little habits Olivia had in the morning, that he was brushing her hair back from her neck to kiss it while she made pancakes, humming a song under her breathe.

You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes and you groaned out loud, gritting your teeth. You sat back up and looked back at your phone. One phone call, maybe a video call and you could ask. Ask about the strain that appeared in their relationship around the same time that he appeared in Olivia’s life, ask about the look of guilt that would be in her eyes. Your phone screen lit up and you were expecting to see Olivia’s name again but it wasn’t. A soft smile appeared on your face but you groaned again and pressed your palms into your eyes.

“I’m a hypocrite,” you muttered. The name on your phone screen was your partner in the undercover job. They were sweet and soft, and at first it had been mere friendship but after Olivia started acting different you allowed yourself to flirt back with them.

You loved Olivia, that was still true. You didn’t think it would be possible to stop loving that woman and you also can’t blame Rafael for falling for her either. She was a force of nature in the best possible way. You just were unsure of what the future held for you two. You knew Olivia was thinking the same. Five years of marriage after almost ten years together meant you knew each well enough to know that Olivia was trying to work out how to bring it up. As you knew she noticed a similar look in your eyes on the few times either of you video called and the other actually answered.

You couldn’t imagine your life without her but you also didn’t know if you could still be together. You would try of course but you didn’t want to come to despise going home and seeing her. That would be worse, as the two of you had been friends before you became a couple. You reached for your phone, flicking through it till you found her contact. You pressed the video call, knowing this conversation needed to be as close to face to face as you could get.

“Hey,” her voice caused you to focus back on the screen. Olivia looked tired, more tired then you had seen her.

“Hey,” you said. “We, we should talk love.”

“Yeah, I think we need to.”

#Law and order SVU #Gender neutral reader #Olivia Benson #Olivia Benson x reader #Olivia Benson x y/n #gender neutral y/n #angst #married Olivia Benson x reader #writing #Law and Order SVU Imagines #imagines #request #olivia benson imagines

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x-bluefire-heart-x · 1 year

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Take Two and Something More

So this chapter flowed really nicely and I rather like it so I hope you guys do as well. I am working on chapter four but it probably won’t be as quick to be uploaded as I will be back at work this week.

Also again, any mistakes are my own.

Also also, please check out my prompt list and feel free to request something! I really enjoyed writing my requests last time!

Side note, this GIF really shows how nice his hands are....or is that just me?

Warnings: I don’t believe there are any but please let me know if there is something here that needs to be tagged as a warning.

Master List

Prompt List

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Tag List: @profoundtyrantharmony @wanniiieeee

The case against Paul O’Neil had resulted in him being found guilty of multiple counts of rape, harassment and stalking . Once the newspapers had written about his arrest after Finn, Viper and Nick had searched his apartment and found a number of videos of his attacks, a number of other women came forward with their accounts. It had been a tough case, Paul’s defence team claiming that the women agreed to be videoed and that everything was consensual but thankfully the jury was able to see through his charm. During the trial you had sat in the court room to support the women and though you would deny it with all your being you were impressed with Rafael Barba and his ability to trap the suspect or one of the witnesses for defence in their lie and force them to backpedal.

“I guess you were telling the truth,” you muttered to Olivia while the two of you were waiting for your drinks at the bar. Olivia glanced at you, a smirk on her face.

“Telling the truth about what?” she asked, smirk turning into a grin when you shot her a pointed look.

“About that ADA,” you said, voice tinged with annoyance. “He is a good lawyer.”

“Wow, that sounded incredibly painful for you to admit,” Olivia laughed picking up her wine.

“Shut up.”

You thanked the bartender after he placed your whiskey in-front of you. The two of you walked to meet the rest of the team at your booth. You stopped short when you realised there was an extra person sitting at the booth. Olivia looked at you, nudging you carefully in the arm forcing you to look at her.

“Play nice,” she whispered forcing you to keep walking.

Thankfully she took the sit beside him but that meant you had to sit across from him. The table grew quiet before forced conversations were picked up again but you could tell that the team was watching you out of the corner of their eyes and paying more attention to what was going to happen. You took a big sip of your whiskey before looking up at Rafael who was already staring at you. You felt an uptake in the speed of your heart beats and a rush of warmth growing up your neck the longer you stared at his face, his green eyes just staring you down. The light from the bar hitting his face at all the right angles and brought your eyes to the strong features of his jawline and his nose. You blinked a few times and took another sip from your drink and looked away for a moment before looking back. He was still staring at you, though you thought you had noticed a slight red tinge to his cheeks but you weren’t sure if it was from the lights or reflecting off of Olivia’s red shirt.

The tension was thick between the two of you, you could almost feel it suffocating the air. You waited to see if he was going to say anything but he just stared at you sipping from his own drink. You noticed Oliva nudging him in the arm and giving him a sharp look. You felt something tap your leg and glanced at Nick who was also giving you a sharp look.

‘Go on’. Nick mouth at you, his glass hiding his mouth from the other side of the table. You sighed, glaring at him before turning back to Rafael.

“Hi,” you said, grimacing at the awkwardness. “Good job in court.”

Rafael nodded but didn’t respond. You blinked sitting up straighter and looking towards Olivia. You glared at her before completely ignoring the man across from you and turning to engage Nick in his conversation with Finn and Amanda.

“Rafael, play nice,” Olivia said when Rafael turned to her. “Viper is trying and so can you. You said you would be civil.”

“They haven’t apologised,” Rafael said, his tone haughty and completely different to what Olivia was use to. She groaned rubbing her forehead.

“You two are like children,” she muttered. “Viper is not going to apologise in-front of all of us but they will. They promised. Besides, you also admitted to me that their profile was accurate and helped get the warrant.”

“That has nothing to do with this,” Rafael groused. He swallowed the rest of his drink and motioned for Olivia to move.

“Going already counsellor?” Amanda asked bringing everyone’s attention to him. You looked away from Nick and saw that Rafael looked a little like a deer in headlights at all the attention before he masked it.

“Yes, I have another case to start preparing for in the morning,” he said nodding at all them. You watched him go before feeling four sets of eyes on you. You slowly turned around and saw that they had all switched their attention to you.

“Go on!” Nick half shouted shoving you towards the end of booth.

“You did tell me you would apologise,” Olivia said taping your foot with hers. You looked at Finn and Amanda who both made shooing motions with their hands.

“I can not take any more tension and awkwardness,” Amanda whined. “Do something about it, be a grown up and apologise.”

You grumbled as you got up and followed the ADA out of the bar but not before downing the rest of your whiskey. Thankfully Rafael hadn’t gotten very far from the entrance of the bar. You jogged to catch up.

“Counsellor!” you called out. He stopped and turned around looking a little surprised that you had followed him.

“Can I help you detective or are you here to demand something else from me?” Rafael knew he was being petty but he couldn’t help it. You reared back a little at that, surprised but also knowing that you kinda deserved it.

“No actually,” you tried to keep your tone civil but knew that your tone was edged in anger. You took a deep breath and pushed your anger down. “I’m here to apologise. Whether I meant to or not I attempted to intimidate you that day in your office and it was inappropriate. I am sorry for doing that.” Your tone thankfully was sincere as you were sorry for having done that. It was something you hated doing during your time undercover but it was necessary for your role, for you to have done it without thinking to someone on your side made your stomach drop and feel sick.

“Whether you meant to or not?” Rafael asked. “I didn’t realise intimidation was an instinct.”

“Seriously? I am here apologising and you’re acting like an arse,” you seethed. “And yes whether I meant to or not. That action was something I had to do over the last year when I did a joand it is not something easy to come back from.”

“I’m being an arse?” Rafael scoffed. “That’s rich.” He crossed his arms, staring you down. You shook your head not able to believe how he was acting. You thought you had acted like a child in your first meeting with him and now in your second actual conversation he is acting like a child.

“Yes!” You shouted pressing your palms into your eyes and groaning. “My god. I don’t know why I even bothered.” You turned around just wanting to leave the situation.

Rafael stood there for a moment, staring at you as you entered back into the bar. He scoffed again before turning around, he paused briefly and knew that Olivia would give him a headache if you mentioned how that entire conversation went. He sighed, knowing that this time he was in the wrong, you had sounded very sincere with your apology and even provided an explanation that didn’t sound like an excuse but just you trying to explain it. He rubbed the back of his neck and pulled out his phone to order an uber. He didn’t quite understand why he couldn’t just accept your apology and move on, this could affect the whole squad and that wasn’t something he wanted to do. He would be loathed to admit it but Manhattan SVU had gotten under his skin and he rather enjoyed working with them.

He sighed rubbing at his temples as his uber pulled up and he got in. He rested his chin on his hand and stared out the window. Still trying to work out what exactly went wrong. Your eyes had seemed to burn with fire when he first responded to you before you seemed to calm down and the fire in your eyes simmered down, he noticed whenever he looked at you that the embers of a fire seemed to be constantly in your eyes. Though he found them to most appealing when you were angry. He blinked and shook his head looking up and huffing in disbelief, he did not find you appealing in the least and he definitely didn’t act the way he did just to see how your eyes looked. Nope. That is not something an ADA of his calibre did. His phone beeped, forcing him to look down and get out of his head.

“Shit,” Rafael sighed noticing that it was a message from Olivia. He thought about leaving it unread but he knew that would cause a bigger headache the next time he saw the detective. He thumbed open the message.

Message from Olivia: Seriously?! What is wrong with you Rafi? They apologised and you acted like a compete jerk.

Message to Olivia (draft): I didn’t find it sincere enough

‘I can’t send that,’ he thought. ‘Viper seems the type of person who wouldn’t apologise unless they meant it.’

Message to Olivia: Truthfully, I don’t know.

Message from Olivia: Well, you better figure it out and fix it! Viper will be interacting with you a lot, and this team cannot have any tension.

Message to Olivia: I will.

Rafael sighed putting his phone away, he really didn’t have any idea how to fix this as he truly didn’t understand how and why he acted the way did.

“I cannot believe that arrogant, egotistical, jerk!” you growled slamming back another shot of vodka. It probably wasn’t the best idea but honestly you didn’t care. You had apologised and even tried to explain why you did it, and you didn’t even like mentioning that you had done undercover work but you felt he was owed something.

“I know, I know,” Amanda patted you on the back and went to the bar for another round.

Olivia was sitting across from you and patted your hand, Nick sat on your right with his arm around your shoulders letting you lean into him. Finn had left already but not before telling you not to mind Rafael, you did the right thing. He also paid for two rounds of vodka shots. You had had about four shots of vodka, having one of Olivia’s and one of Nicks. Nick had pushed his in-front of you, telling you that he’ll drive you home so you can go nuts. Amanda had taken Nick’s other shot.

“I mean I apologised!” you groaned. “And he just…just urgh!”

Amanda giggled softly as she sat back down across from you beside Olivia putting two more shots in-front of you and one in-front of herself and a glass of water in-front of Olivia and Nick. You reached for the shots and downed them in quick succession. Nick laughed and nudged his water before you, urging you to at least have a sip.

“Come on, just a mouthful otherwise you are going to feel like hell tomorrow,” Nick whispered his fingers running through your hair. You pouted and reached for the water taking a few sips.

Amanda and Olivia shared a look at the way Nick was treating you, it was something new since you had gotten back though you didn’t seem to mind too much. And it also seemed to get through to you in your tipsy stupor. You smiled at him and patted his cheek when he took back his water and sipped from it.

“I’ll have a talk with him and we can try and sort it out,” Olivia promised getting your focus on her. “And please believe me when I tell you that he isn’t normally like that. And Viper please promise me if he comes to you and apologises that you won’t do what he did.” You sat up from your slump against Nicks side and vigorously shook your head.

“Of course I wouldn’t!” You promised. “If he is sincere with his apology like I was of course I would accept it. It can take cocky dickheads like that a lot of balls to say sorry. I should know, I can be like that as well.” The three of them laughed at your admission and decided that should probably be it for the night. You all did have work in the morning,

“Come on up you get, time to take you home,” Nick said and this time he was gentler when he moved you out of the booth. His hands on your waist. The four of you made your way outside, Olivia and Amanda ordering their Ubers. You weren’t overly drunk but the quick shots of vodka were definitely going to your head and making you dizzy. Nick had wrapped his arm around your waist to help stabilise you, and you had placed your arms around his neck, bringing you close to his face. You leant your head in the crook of his neck.

“Are you right with them?” Olivia asked. “I don’t mind sharing an uber with Viper.”

“No it’s fine, they live on the way to mine,” Nick shook his head, looking down at you with an extremely soft look on his face, one that Olivia saw when he looked or talked about Zara.

“Right well, see you all in the morning!” Amanda waved as her uber pulled up getting side and gesturing to her phone at Olivia.

“Not very subtle,” Nick whispered to Olivia who just shook her head.

“Who knows what is going through her head, especially after a couple of vodka shots,” Olivia said. “Ah, my Uber is here. See you both in the morning, make sure they drink plenty of water.”

“I will, safe trip back Liv,” Nick waved.

“Bye bye Liv!” you waved at her. Olivia smiled indulgently at you before getting in her Uber. “Nick?”

“Yes?” Nick looked back down at you as he started to direct you to his car. He hadn’t parked far from the bar which he was grateful for, you weren’t heavy but you definitely weren’t light. Especially with how much of your weight you were putting on him.

“I’m tired,” you pouted. “And…and I still feel really bad about what I did.”

“Hey, you apologised,” Nick said squeezing your waist. “Don’t feel too bad about it, Rafael can get very frustrating.”

“Yeah but I hate doing that, when I had to do it from them it made me feel sick,” you whined. “Those people where innocent and they didn’t deserve for me to frighten and intimidate them.”

Nick tried to get a look at your face but you had buried it in his neck but he knew you were crying, he could feel the tears hitting the skin on his neck. He quietly seethed, angry beyond belief at Rafael for causing you to be like this. Yes, in the beginning you had been in the wrong but you had tried to make it right but Rafael for some insane reason decided to be a dick and not graciously accept it. Nick unlocked his car and opened the door, gently placing you in the seat before kneeling in-front of the door and reaching up to wipe away the tears.

“Viper, look at me,” Nick’s voice was incredibly soft and gentle, his eyes swam with concern when you finally raised your eyes and looked at him. “Whatever you did when you were under cover you did to protect those women and to protect other women. If you hadn’t agreed to help who knows how many other women would have been harmed.”

You nodded and rubbed at your eyes trying to stop the tears but they just kept on coming, a small sob escaped from your throat no matter how hard you tried to stop it. Nick reached up and wrapped his arms around you drawing you into his chest allowing you to get out whatever you needed. You clutched his shirt in your hands, so hard that your knuckles turned white. He rubbed his hand up and down your back, not saying anything but making soothing noises in the back of his throat. His other hand had wrapped round the base of your neck and gently stroked the skin there.

“I’m so sorry,” you muttered as you leaned back noticing how much snot was now on his shirt.

“That’s alright,” Nick smiled tapping you on the nose. “I have a feeling that was something you needed to get out of your system. Now, let me get you home so you can have some water and get some sleep.”

“Thanks Nick,” you smiled up at him, your eyes red rimmed and drowsy not just from the alcohol now but also from the tears. “Everything you have done for me since I got back, I really appreciate it.”

Nick nodded and moved around the drivers side of the car, once he had sat down he reached out one last time to gently brush his fingers against your cheek.

“You never have to thank me for that,” Nick smiled.

He looked back to the front of the car and focused on getting you home safe. He missed the red that dusted your cheeks that wasn’t there before, something you were grateful for. You weren’t entirely sure what was happening with Nick but he had been acting different since you had gotten back and the squad had seen how different you were. How broken your time under cover had made you. You glanced at Nick and watched the street lights play over his face before looking away not wanting to get caught staring. You leaned your head against the window and went back over your conversation with Rafael to try and see where you had gone wrong. Maybe you didn’t sound as sincere as you had thought. You tried to remember the facial expressions of the ADA to see if maybe there was a clue there. Your face suddenly felt very warm when you remembered how he looked when he turned around after you had called out for him. His face had those strong angles, his chin had a little five o’clock shadow growing on it, and his eyes, his eyes were so expressive and the green in them was everchanging. You shook you head, not wanting to further entertain those thoughts or even want to start working out where they came from. Especially after that moment in the bar and not until you worked out what was going on with Nick.

You rested your head against the back of the seat and closed your eyes. In the morning everything would be better. You just knew it.

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