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#or make it a little makeup kit
freaky-flawless · 2 years
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I really like the Gore-Ganizer, both the box itself and the Draculaura doll, but for $43 it should come with a LOT more stuff. All the little accessories look so cheap and you could probably find better quality things at a dollar store :/
And the accessories themselves are kinda weird. Is it stationary? Is it beauty? I get the angle of being nondescript with it so kids can use the box for whatever they like, but it doesn't seem very well thought out. Like they just threw some random shit in there.
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tunaricebowl · 7 months
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i don’t know which autistic/adhd/any kind of neurodivergent person needs to hear this but: make a “just in case” bag
this is a pic of mine. it contains:
loop earplugs on the zipper
prescription glasses with a clip on sunglasses attachment
my public transport discount card
a pen
a glasses cloth + wet glasses wipes (which can also be used to clean my hands if needed!
wireless earbuds in case my headphones give out
tips for my apple pencil + silicon covers if i need a different texture/the sound is too loud
a sanitary pad (not for me, as i had a hysterectomy, but i like carrying one around for my menstruating friends)
a pouch with hair ties for when my hair bothers me
autism lanyard (not pictured, as i put it in after i took it)
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will i use these every day? not necessarily. but it’s good to have these all in one place in a little pouch so it’s easy to throw into my bag as i use different ones for different occasions. that way i don’t have to think about all these things individually.
it might seem like common sense for some people, but i didn’t think of this until recently. so i wanted to share this in case it could be handy for other people. some more ideas for what to put in your bag under the break. you can make this as big or as small as you like so some ideas may seem a bit big
powerbank + cables (preferably a powerbank that has a LOT of charge)
snacks (do keep an eye on the expiration date)
painkillers/emergency meds (same thing about the expiration date)
sewing kit
deodorant/perfume
mini fan
hand warmers
scissors/nail clippers (for when tags/threads/your nails are bothering you)
tweezers
lucky charm (i have my lucky cat keychain. it just calms me to have)
plushie/stress ball/fidget toy
mints/a mini toothbrush and toothpaste
extra pair of underwear (for if you suddenly need to stay somewhere overnight or if an accident happens)
comb
band-aids + disinfectant
hand cream/soothing cream
soap/soap leaves
similarly, some mini shampoo or mini body wash (again for if you suddenly need to stay the night. there’s probably already some wherever you’re staying but again. this is a just in case bag)
q-tips
chapstick
makeup remover wipes
razors
hand sanitizer/general sanitizer
wet wipes/tissues
foldable bag
ruler/tape measure
this is a lot but keep in mind, these are just ideas. you don’t have to use everything, just pick out which things you think would be handy for you and make your bag accordingly. do feel free to add onto the list if you have any other ideas.
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webslingingslasher · 3 months
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Begin Again
an: this has been a long time in the making and I think it's a favorite of mine.
Pairing: Peter Parker X Mean!Reader
Genre: Angst, fluff, enemies to lovers.
CW: harsh language, mental breakdowns, mentions of cheating (not peter)
Word Count: 24K
Summary: You've lived next door to Peter your whole life and the last nine years you've detested him. Now you're going through a breakup and it's nice to know someone's awake with you. Even if it is Peter Parker.
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Breakups suck.
That’s it. That’s the whole message. There’s nothing else to add, except you’d never let yourself love again. It’s not like you didn’t know it wasn’t going to happen, you were aware the entire year what it would lead into, but hasn’t every girl sworn, at least once, they were the exception to a boys rule? 
Natalie Greene’s voice echoed in your mind, “don’t get involved with a senior boy. They move on and you’re left picking up the pieces in homeroom.” You didn’t listen. You got involved and it was a good year, you knew he was going to college and when he left the break up was inevitable. Still, it didn’t hurt as hard until three months into the school year he called and said he met someone else. 
You wish you weren’t so kind and understanding to him.
You called Natalie Greene the second it ended, she picked up and that angel voice of hers shined through the phone. She asked ‘hello?’ three times before you sobbed. You could feel the empathy in her tone, ‘he ended it, huh?’ All you could do is squeak back, ‘stay right there babe, I’m on my way with the break up kit.’  
She showed up with a stray grocery bag. “alright,” she stated, hands on her hips. 
“I got ice cream, a super soft blanket, movies - of all genres, face masks, a lighter-” 
“Why do you have a lighter?” 
Natalie rolls her eyes with a goofy grin, “to burn stuff, duh.“
The gesture was nice, but you couldn’t focus on the movie.
It felt like everytime you blinked there were tears that would find themselves tracking down your cheeks, you sniffled occasionally and blankly stared at the screen; flashbacks clouding your mind. Each kiss, each laugh, each touch, every fight and makeup, the first time you felt someone's hips melt into yours. 
A supercut of every moment. 
You were replaying a thousand things and all he was thinking about was the new girl under him, you were angry at everything all at once. Angry at yourself for letting yourself get hurt and feeling this much pain, because you knew it was coming, it was the whole agreement when it started. Angry at him for not breaking his promise and loving you anyway, angry at him for not telling you he’d wait for you and everything would be okay. 
Angry that you hate him and yourself but more angry how quickly you’d fall back into him if he called. 
“I knew this was gonna happen, Nat.” You sniff, a cry bubbles from your throat, “so why does it hurt so bad?” 
Your friend frowns, she’s no savor to heartbreak. She’s been where you are more times than one could take, she still loves with her whole heart and you don’t know if you could ever do it again. Natalie wraps her arms around your shoulders while you shake with a sob, you cry into her knowing you're matting her blonde hair but she just pats you and holds you close. 
“Because even though the ending was coming it didn’t feel real until the book closed. And maybe a little bit because you hoped he’d change his mind.” 
You gasp, “how do I get past this? Nat, it feels..” 
You’re tugged into her so tight you can feel her collarbone against your cheek, “like you’re dying? Yeah, that happens. But, you’ll live. It doesn’t feel like it now, but the day will come where you can think about him, smile, and thank him for the opportunity.” 
You snort, “for breaking my heart?” 
Natalie Greene holds you as tight as she can, “for making you grow.” 
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Your shoulders feel like they’re falling behind you as you inch along the hallway, everything feels heavy. Your feet are like lead blocks, and your heart feels like it’s been tied down with an anchor. It hurts more to know he’s not aching like this, he has someone new to keep him busy. 
Blinking at your locker you fight back a yawn, two weeks after heartbreak and it still feels the same. You sleep like shit, tossing and turning and weird dreams when you finally dozed off. The one thing that’s helped keep your mind away from him, was your neighbor. Every night, at 3:02 am, on the dot, you hear the same movements. 
A window slams shut, two soft hops on the floor and three bumps against the wall. 
For six nights straight you kept count, it was methodical. A nightly routine, you weren’t sure what he was doing, but it was something. It made your mind wonder, your most recent theory was that he was a smoker; weed, cigarettes or whatever, and he would blow smoke out his window before landing in bed. 
Maybe his bed was against your wall and that’s why you heard so many small knocks. 
Last night you stayed up, you waited and right on the minute, like you expected, you heard a window slam shut. A small grin crossed your face, not at him, but at the idea of a constant. You lost your reliable figure, he’s thousands of miles away with his own new person, but tonight, and for the last seven nights you’ve had something to rely on. Something that couldn’t go anywhere. 
You blink and suddenly you’re staring at your open locker, you don’t even remember putting in the combination. On autopilot you grab what you need for your next three classes and shrug your backpack down. Lately, it seemed like everything moved in slow motion. 
“Are we ready to go to Flash’s party friday and makeout with a rando or are we still numb to everything?” 
Natalie smiles at your figure, when you slouch and give her a “hey, Nat,” her blonde hair bounces as she nods her head understandingly, “still dead to the world, understandable.” 
“At this point I’d do heroin to feel something,” your deadstare makes her think you might be serious. “Tell you what, if you’re still this miserable in six weeks, we’ll do it together.” 
Your eyebrow quirks, “you’d do heroin with me if I’m still this miserable?” 
Natalie Greene’s hand sticks out, her eyes ferocious. You know immediately she has something up her sleeve. 
“Six weeks, starting today.” 
You have nothing else to go on except the nightly wake up call and Natalie Greene’s plan. 
“Six weeks.” 
It’s solidified with a handshake, your fingertips turn white in her hold. 
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WEEK ONE.
Natalie Greene had talked you into going to Flash’s party, not to makeout with anyone, she quickly withdrew that from the table. You had been very hesitant at first, pushing at every restraint and reason to why you shouldn’t go and she stopped you right there. Manicured hand and all, petite and poised, she stopped your path. 
“Here’s why you should go: get fucking wrecked, absolutely smashed and let it all out. I promise you, babe, it feels so, so good.” 
“You think that will make me feel better? Getting hammered at a house party on a friday night?”
“I’ll take care of you for the night, okay? I’ll get you drunk and you can cry or scream or whatever you want. Let go of anything you’re holding back, that’s why you should go.” 
You look her over, she’s been your rock the last three years in the school. Natalie is different, she protects and cares for herself like she does someone else. She also gives out more of her heart than she should, but she appreciates the burn it leaves. She tells you it’s one more ache preparing her for the one who would never make it hurt again. 
If Natalie Greene says it’ll help, you’ll listen. 
“You’ll drive me home and take care of me the next morning? Hungover and all?” 
A denim jacket covered shoulder shrugs, “I think it’s time I repay you for all these years.” 
For the first time in two weeks a real smile crosses your face, it’s small but it’s there. 
Flashforward two days later, you’re eight drinks in and feeling like you’re flying. 
You sway against your friend, “and he,” you hiccup, “he said he was like, soooo in love with me but then like, fuckin four days later,” it took you a moment to hold up the correct number on your hand, “boom, no boyfriend.” Natalie tried to hold back a laugh but her cheeks blew up when she let it escape, you pulled the most comical ‘what the fuck?’ face. 
“I mean who the fuck does that- a sick person. That’s who! And- And you know what?” you hiccup, “I thought I’d be sad, but I just kinda hate him, does that make me bad?” 
“Nah, I had some that killed me inside and some that I just shrugged off. Some moved in waves. One minute I’d say ‘fuck him!’ and the next I’d be overwhelmed with sadness because I didn’t have anyone to hold me anymore.” 
You blink at her words and swallow the rest of your cup, you hadn’t thought about that part yet. Not having anyone to call yours anymore, that’s the hardest hitting part. You really, really wanted to call him. Just one more time, maybe he misses you just as much, maybe he doesn’t know how to say sorry, maybe he’s waiting for you to call. 
“I should call him, right?” Your hands fumble at your pockets, your friend panics and grabs at your arms. “No! No, no, no! You absolutely should not call him!” You whine, “but what if he-” 
Natalie grabs you tight, it makes you look at her confused. Her tone takes a sharp turn, she breaks through your drunken stupor in a second. 
“He’s not. He’s not thinking about you, he’s not missing you, he’s not sitting around wishing you’d call him, he’s just not. He broke up with you, you don’t do that if you still care. Don’t do that to yourself, it ended mature. You have to be mature now.” 
Brutal honesty. It puts everything in perspective. 
He didn’t miss you, and that… really, really hurt. 
Natalie was right, it comes in waves. Because there comes that sadness, it starts with small blinks and suddenly fat tears skip down your cheeks. “You’re right! He, he doesn’t-” you take harsh breaths, for the first time in two weeks you had a full breakdown. Everything you held back bottled over, you didn’t know how you could hold in so much hurt. 
“Okay, okay. Let’s go, we can cry in the car but not here.” 
Your breath shook the entire way to the car, the moment you sat in the passenger seat you cried. Your voice cracked, “he said he loved me!” Natalie nodded, cranking the engine, “And I’m sure he did, babe. Sometimes these things run their course and it’s no one's fault.” 
It went like that the entire car ride, until she stopped at a McDonald's and got you a milkshake so you could focus on getting the liquid up the straw instead of saying the same three things on a loop. Once you got fries in your mouth the thought of him was erased from your mind, choosing to sing loudly and stick your head out the window on the way back. 
Stumbling and giggling quietly at the late hour while you swayed on the walk to your door, you stretched freely and yawned when you stumbled in. Home alone for the weekend, just how it should be. “I’m getting naked,” you started stripping while walking to your room to change into pajamas, your heart lurches when you see one of his shirts. 
You flop backwards on your bed, the room slightly spins and you close your eyes tight trying to ground yourself. Wriggling into the sheets you sigh, and yawn again. Your head buries into a pillow and sleep is imminent. 
“Sleepy?” 
Natalie Greene stands in the doorway with water and some advil, you smile and pat your bed, inviting her to join. 
“Natalie Greene, you are so great, did you know that?” 
Your friend laughs, you nuzzle into her hand while she strokes your hair, “I did, but a reminder is always nice. Go to sleep, babe. I’ll make toast in the morning.” 
Her gentle touch makes it easy, you yawn one more time. Your voice flutters while you talk into sleep.
“Do me a favor?” 
“Anything,” she whispers. You don’t think he ever loved you this soft.  
“Make sure he gets home for me.” 
Natalie Greene asked who but all she received were soft snores. 
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The birds were screaming the earth back awake. 
At least that’s how it felt, your ears were ringing and there was a dull, present thud in your head. The sunlight has never been so bright, you hold your eyes shut but the ache gets louder and you can’t get comfortable. 
There’s two pills and half a glass of water waiting for you, god bless Natalie Greene. 
“Good morning, sunshine!” You wince and choke on your gulp of water, a knife has pierced your eardrum. “Oh my god, everything is on dial eleven, I think I’m dying.” 
“How are you feeling? Besides the obvious, I mean.” 
She means about him, you take a moment to really think about it. 
“I think… I think I’m doing okay.” 
Your friend smiles and throws her hair into a ponytail, “good, I’m making breakfast. Come join.” 
After ten minutes and infinite pep talk you rise on shaky knees, stumbling towards your door and barely making it to the couch where you spread wide and gulped for air. Your friend snorted at your exaggeration over her shoulder and carefully walked towards you with a piping mug of tea. 
Sitting up you bring a blanket over your shoulders, you squint at her before taking the handle. Taking a sip while you turn the TV on, searching for a midmorning throwaway show. A re-run of The Wendy Williams Show wins, you rest your head on a cushion and stare blankly at the screen. Natalie Greene humming up a tune in the kitchen. 
You hadn’t even checked your phone yet, “what time is it?” 
“Noon thirty.” 
Your eyes widen, “my god,” you mumble to yourself. 
Listening to Wendy your eyes lull shut and suddenly you're sinking back into sleep, you roll over and smack your dry lips. Until your friend is kicking at your shin with two plates in her hands, stacked full of the breakfast nines. 
Your queasy stomach grumbles and any drowsiness is ripped away with hunger. Nearly drooling, you stuff a piece of french toast in your mouth and moan, “Nat, you’re the greatest thing I got.” She bounces her shoulder into yours, “I know.”  
You fall into silence while you scarf breakfast down, booing and applauding when deemed necessary by Wendy. Leaning back you rest your hands over your full belly and pat gently. Swiping your tongue over your gums for any crumbs, you sigh happily. 
“Hey, what did you mean last night? You said to let you know if he got home safely.” 
You wave her off, “drunk stupidness, I hear my neighbor every night around the same time moving around. This last week, I dunno, it felt nice knowing someone else was up too?” 
“Have you ever-” 
Both your necks turn to look at the front door then back at each other, the knocking that caught your attention continues. 
“Who’s-” 
“Did you-” 
You swallow and stand up, not so shaky anymore. Looking through the peephole your forehead hits the door at the sight of said neighbor, you know what they say about devils and appearing, groaning you take a moment to collect yourself and open the door. 
“What do you want, penis?” 
Peter Parker in all his glory, is knocking at your door with a plate of… cookies? 
Neighbors forever, close pals never. You’d played together as kids, mostly elementary age but since you were eight you’ve had a disdain for Peter Parker. You’re not sure where it went wrong, but just looking at him you wanted to roll your eyes. 
“I was going to say, ‘wow, how could a guy ever dump you?’ but now, I’d say that’s how.” 
Normally that wouldn’t hurt, but the recent circumstances made it a cheap shot. 
“Is this your sorry attempt to be a rebound? Because if it is, I want to make it extremely clear I’d rather eat glass than-” 
The plate is shoved into your face, “May had me bring these over, she said your mom told her you’ve been a weepy, miserable mess because some dickhead thought he found someone better.” 
You huff at him, your fingers wrap around his wristwatch as you pull it down, all you heard was weepy and miserable.
“I know you wouldn’t know anything about someone loving you but-” 
“Is that Peter B. Parker?” 
Natalie Greene reminds you of your hangover in record timing, you wince at her shriek. Peter gives a polite, dare you say charming (?) smile. It makes you fight back a gag, “hello, Natalie Greene.” Her eyes flash from his, to the plate, to the cracked open door across the hall and she gets a wicked grin. 
The person you’ve hated and bickered with the most is suddenly the one you listen out for in the middle of the night. The look on her face, the glance she shared with you, proved she knew. 
“Cookies?” Natalie nudges your arm, “he brought cookies and he’s right across the hallway, how nice.” 
Peter’s oblivious to her tone, he has his goofy smile on and it makes you seeth. He’s always so god damn happy, it’s annoying. 
“Well, actually, my aunt made them. But I am delivering, so I can accept some praise.” 
She laughs, full on cackles and nudges you again. 
“You know, in all the times you talked about Peter you never mentioned how funny he was!” 
You don’t know what she’s playing at but you’re shutting it down immediately. 
Peter looks at you, he seems almost hopeful and you have to settle the urge to toss the plate to the ground. “You talk about me?” 
You cross your arms and sneer, “don’t worry, nothing good.” 
His smile drops, “yeah, sorry. I don’t know why..” his curls bounce as he gently shakes his head before pushing the glass into your chest. “Here, eat as many as it takes to feel somewhat okay again.” 
You grip the plate and look down, they’re your favorite. 
“We, um. We have more over here, so if you want more. Or if you wanna hang out or something I’m here, so…” 
Peter’s never been a friend like this before and it was some pity party you wanted no part of now. 
“It’s a breakup. I’m sure I can manage without you just fine.” 
His eyebrows turn in, “right. I just thought- nevermind, enjoy the cookies.” 
Natalie gives him a sympathetic frown and sulks back inside, you keep your glare on his figure until he reaches his door. As you’re about to retreat he stops in the doorway, “for what it’s worth, I think he’s stupid and he’s gonna realize what he lost when it’s way too late.” 
It’s almost nice, sometimes it sucks when the person you’re supposed to hate has human peek through their armor. 
Too bad you’re more guarded than ever. 
“Well, then. It’s a good thing you’re not worth much.” 
Maybe it’s his resilience that troubles you, no matter how hard you push him away or beat him down with words he’ll pick himself back up and hand your words back in a package of self reflection. 
Today is no exception, Peter flashes you a sad smile, this one actually is filled with pity. 
“I’m sorry you’re hurting,” you didn’t have a chance to fire back. His door was already shut.
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Heartache throbbed but the cookies were damn good. 
On your third, you down half a cup of milk. You reach for a fourth and Natalie hasn’t said one word. Instead she cleaned the kitchen and packed up her overnight bag, before settling next to you for an episode of Jerry Springer and her own deserved treat. 
“So, do tell, my friend. Is Peter the one you wanted to know was home safe?” 
Deny till death. 
“No way, I’m talking about Mr. Harrington, he’s like a hundred years old.” 
Natalie takes her time chewing and swallowing, “your hundred year old neighbor is up in the middle of the night?”
It’s dumb to lie, you and her know the truth. 
You shrug and take a fifth cookie, “he may have a routine, I dunno.” 
Your friend hums, “I just thought it may be Peter, cause you share a wall and all.” 
Gagging at his name you shake it off, “Gross! It’s bad enough knowing the plate these were on were in his hands.” It takes you a second but you’re able to plow through another bite. 
“I just… why do we hate Peter so much?” 
You don’t know, you think you blocked it out. Every time you look at him a weird feeling bubbles up and it makes you want to scream, cry, fight and hug it out with him in one second. It’s easier to bark at him than confront him about your feelings. 
“I don’t know. He’s just a pest to me, every time I turn around he’s there. And I swear to god he spilled the beans about that party last year.” 
Natalie Greene knows three things to be true. 
One: Peter Parker likes you, you just don’t know it yet. 
“What if you talked to him?” 
Cookie crumbs fall over your shirt as you talk, “I’m sorry, what?” 
Two: You like Peter Parker, you just don’t know it yet. 
“If you need me and I’m not around, if you need someone to support you through this and I can’t be here, promise me you’ll knock on his door.” 
You scoff at the idea, “yeah, sure.” she’s not very confident you mean it. 
“Seriously, promise me right now if I can’t be there for you, you’ll ask him.” 
She was serious, something in her tone made you shift and agree. It’s not like she’d go anywhere, Natalie Green was your lifeline. 
“Alright! If you aren’t around and it’s literally life or death, I’ll ask… him.” 
Three: Things get worse before they get better, you just don’t know it yet.
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WEEK TWO.
Your mornings always started the same, a routine was important to you. It was consistent. It was wake up, hit up the bathroom, change, yawn and rub your eyes through breakfast before leaving to thrive in silence before school. 
Today, when leaving, right as you’re pocketing your keys, your neighbor speaks out. 
“Hey.” 
You freeze, it’s rare you run into Peter in the mornings. You figure he leaves way earlier, or later than you. But when you do, you ignore each other with silence. You really don’t like the sudden change. 
“How are you doing?” 
You wonder if he heard you crying last night, you thought you got rid of it after the party. You didn’t understand how you could be happy one moment and miserable the next. What made it worse was when 3:02 am hit and you heard his window slam, your sniffles settled. 
“Like I was dumped, thanks for the reminder.” 
Your foot hits the first step when he calls out, “and the cookies?” 
Biting your bottom lip you turn, it really was a nice gesture. You may not like him, but you loved May and she’s the one that put in all that hard work. Peter lights up when you face him, if he had a tail he’d start wagging it. It makes you bite down on your cheek, he doesn’t deserve unprovoked rage. 
“They were really good,” you take three steps before turning back around. 
“And, I uh, took your advice. Ate the whole plate, I mean.” 
Peter fumbles, his key chain drops but he stays looking at you. His thumb shoots behind him to point at his door, “we have like, twenty left. Want some more?” 
You shake your head softly, “maybe later?” Peter nods exuberantly, “yeah, yeah. I’ll bring them over.” 
You curl your lip up and stomp down the steps, “thanks for the warning, penis!” 
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This was it. 
This was your worst nightmare. 
Not only did things get shuffled around until you were sitting next to Peter at dinner, where you made it a point to scoot your chair away from him when his shoulder touched yours and immediately swiped the area clean- But now you blinked blankly at your dinner while your mom droned on and on and on about the guy who dumped you. It didn’t matter if it was good or bad, you just wanted her to stop. 
“And he was so sweet, wasn’t he? Honey, are you sure he hasn’t reached out? It’s not too late to call him, maybe if you-” May didn’t deserve to see you upset, and it kills you that Peter saw that emotion. Your mom didn’t even deserve it, you were so sick of trying to keep it together. 
Your chair screeches with how quick you jump out of your seat. 
“He doesn’t give a shit, he dumped me! So why do you think he’d call? He doesn’t want me, I mean he’s made that clear right?” Your eyes shoot to May’s, “I’m right, right? You don’t break up with someone if you still care, or want them, right?” 
Tears haze your vision, “he ended it with me mom, and you know why? It’s cause he found a new girl! He fucking-” water rushes down your cheeks but you don’t stop, “he,” you collapse on the word, you can’t get a good inhale on breath. 
“He left me to pick up the pieces, that’s all he did.” It clicked full motion, he left you behind and ended it. He got a fresh start and you were left trying to hold it together, like how it was, how it was supposed to be. 
You sob, your chest has never felt so tight. Shaky breaths fade into sharp inhales, you can’t fucking breathe. Gasping you put a hand over your heart, you know in the back of your mind it’s a panic attack but all you feel is imminent death. 
Peter stands and blocks your body with his, you don’t know what’s happening but you’re trying to get away. Each step you take backwards he takes one forwards until you're wheezing in your room, your ears are ringing and it feels like a heart attack is in approach. Your eyes squeeze shut and in an instant you feel calmer, it’s not because of your sudden blink. It’s because Peter has his hands over your ears pressing in, your back against the wall and front against his chest.  
It’s the last place you want to be but you’re angry, and he’s there, and it’s all coming out. 
You’re able to breathe but at what cost? You grip Peter’s shirt as tight as you could and wail into his chest, it’s the first time you’ve ever actually felt him against you. He’s more sturdy than you thought, as you push more and more weight on him he doesn’t stagger one bit. His arms held you to him, keeping steady until you’d push him away. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you coughed the words into his shirt, you held tighter when his only response was resting his chin on your head. You apologized and cried until you ran out of tears and your breaths were nothing but sharp inhales. 
When reality hits and you realize you've been crying into Peter’s hold for minutes you push him away and wipe your nose. Avoiding his eyes, you look to the carpet, you have a fresh cry glow and mindset, it’s the good kind of emotional numb. 
“I, um, I still have those cookies?” 
Those being his choice of words after a troubling breakdown was warming, it made you feel like you weren’t so crazy. Or at least, Peter didn’t see you as crazy, which when thinking about didn’t mean much. 
You can’t help but laugh, it’s so loud and opposite of every other emotion you spilled tonight it makes him jump, you see him setting up for the attack. The moment you snap at him and call him a weirdo for cornering you and throwing himself on you. 
Tonight, you were full of surprises. 
“Yeah,” you nod your head and wipe your nose one last time, “I’d love to come over for cookies.” 
You had to look away from his smile, it was too blinding. 
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You broke the rule, you went lurking and hurt your own feelings. She’s all over his instagram, and she’s pretty. He’s all over hers, dating back to five months ago. 
You do a double take, five months? 
He had been cheating on you for months before he ended it. You feel sick. He told you he loved you while he was in bed with another girl. You felt so much rage inside you couldn’t hold it in, Natalie was too far away and Peter’s already seen you at your worst. 
You move without thinking, slamming your fist on his door. 
Wide eyes open it, Peter would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared he was the subject of attack. You swerve past him, if you were in a cartoon, steam would be billowing from your ears. You didn’t get angry often, and you’ve never felt upset enough to punch someone, but all you could think about was screaming and slamming your fist into the wall. 
“I hate him, I fucking hate him so fucking much. If you ever hear me crying I need you to come over and tell me I’m absolutely pathetic for crying over a fucking cheater.” 
While he’s glad you’re not there to yell at him, his heart sinks for you. 
“I’m so sorry.” 
“It was right in front of my face, too. She’d been claiming him since the second week of school. I’ve been a fool, god, I fucking hate him. I hate him so much I… I want to break something.” 
Peter eyes his science notebook, he doesn’t have anything for you to break, but he has something that will make enough noise to drown out the voices. He grabs it and holds it out, you gently take it giving him a confused look. 
“Wack it. Beat the absolute shit out of it on the counter.” 
You look unsure, you don’t want to ruin his things, even if you don’t like him. 
“Right on the edge, go on, do it.” His egging you on makes you follow his command, it’s gentle. 
“Harder,” you test it. 
“Harder,” you give a smack, it makes a popping sound and you jump, it feels good. 
“Like you mean it, like you need it.” You do it again, it’s louder. You strike down without instruction, Peter starts barking at you, it makes you angrier. 
“Harder, don’t be so weak!”
He hit the right nerve, you can’t stop, you’re moving so quick and using so much force the spine starts to rip from the cardboard. It feels good destroying something, it makes you beat the laminate harder. Loud cracks echoing from the walls. 
You heave for air, every bit of force directed into your diminished trust. You yell between each blow. 
“Fucking!” 
“Piece!”
“Of!”
“Shit!” 
You start to slow down, Peter’s notebook is fucked. You feel bad. Gasping for air when you’re done, Peter gives you a head nod, “better?” 
You nod, “lots. Sorry about your book.” He doesn’t look bothered in the slightest, “it’s a good excuse to get a new one, I hate green.” You peer over the contents in the pages, “that’s a lie, everyone knows science is green.” Peter laughs, he nods like he’s saying ‘you got me there.’ “Doesn’t mean I like it though.” 
Looking down at the notebook, you peer up at Peter. He looks soft, the sleeves of his zip up hoodie covered his thumbs, he has sweater paws. His hair framed his face nicely, his cheeks have a natural pink hue, it’s like he’s always sunkissed, or calming down from a laughing fit. 
The sun is backlighting him perfectly, it makes his eyes look even more honey golden than they already do. You don’t know why you find him slightly cute at the moment, it makes your stomach tug and not in a good way. The last time you thought someone was cute you got burned, and you’ve always had a disdain for Peter. 
Peter was the worst kind of rebound to have because you can’t decide who’d get more hurt from it, and the thought of that makes you want to avoid him forever. 
“You’re looking at me funny.” 
You are, it’s because you’re noticing him for the first time, at least since you were eight. Suddenly you can remember why you cut him out when you were a kid. 
“I had a crush on you when we were younger. I think that’s why I stopped being your friend.” 
Your confession made Peter’s eyes widen, he looks to the ground and hides his smile. When he picks his head back up he looks to the side, his cheeks a bit more flushed than normal. “That’s cute.” 
It was. It was innocent and juvenile, his small response made you laugh. “Yeah, it really was.” You shouldn’t entertain it any further, but you can’t stop. Something about seeing his blush makes you want to keep going, “Wanna know when it started?” He looks curious, “sure.” 
You go quiet for a minute, you haven’t thought about it in years. The moment it clicked you were freaked out, the first time you liked a boy and he was your best friend. You went from wanting to play in dirt to holding his hand. A smile spreads over your face when you watch the memory replay in your mind. 
“We were at the complex playground and we were digging by that droopy tree across from the swingset, and I saw a lizard in the grass and I pointed it out to you. I told you I always wanted to hold one but they moved too fast and scared me, but you held out your arm and said ‘I got this.’” You laugh, replaying it once more. 
“And you dive bombed and picked it up, and you were so fucking proud to have caught it. Then you placed it in my hand but I felt it move around and freaked out, but you held your hand over mine and said ‘don’t be scared.’” 
There’s something about an eight year old Peter Parker with glasses and dirt smudged cheeks that had child you giddy.
Peter’s smiling, it’s like he’s reliving that day in his head too. “I fulfilled your lifelong dream and you fell for me.” You shrug, “maybe.” Setting his notebook on the counter you look around, you feel like you’ve said too much. 
“Hey, um, thanks for the whole… unleashing my anger thing.” You're setting yourself up for a goodbye, Peter can sense it. 
“Are you hungry? Wanna go get some pizza?” 
No matter what was said, or thought, you still have that pinch of annoyance at him. But his brightness was what you needed today, and you hadn’t had lunch. You have a sinking feeling you’d regret it, there was something that felt like it was a bit more than friendly and it had you throwing up every wall possible. 
Still, you find yourself agreeing. 
“Sure. Let’s get some pizza.” 
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It was a stereotypical pizza place and those were the best ones. The wall is covered in pictures of random people, terrible paintings and red checkered tablecloths covered wobbly tables. They had a permanent sticky residue, your elbows peeled when you raised them up. 
“I’m surprised you didn’t judge me on my hawaiian choice.” He always did, he told you it wasn’t authentic and childish.
“Hey, I’m a pizza guy, alright? Anything you put on a pizza belongs on it. I mean, I get the appeal, sweet and savory.” Your face brightens, he understands. “Exactly! And the warm pineapple just hits differently, it’s like-” Peter can read your mind, you say it at the same time. “Fries and ice cream.” 
Another thing he found gross, your head tilts, it just kind of clicks with Peter. Your ex would sneer when you’d go for a dip, you begged him to try it a hundred times, you promised he’d like it but he’d tell you it was ‘fucking gross’. 
“Hawaiian and pepperoni, can I get you kids anything else?” You shake your head while Peter responds for the both of you, ‘no thanks, we’re good.” Peter’s slice has a pool of grease in a slice of his pepperoni, it looks delicious. He sees you eying his choice and holds it out, “you want a bite don’t you?” Your eyes flash to your slice, “only if you take a bite of mine.” It’s only fair. “Swap with me,” you trade plates and tap slices as a cheers, humming when you take a bite Peter nods impressively. 
You swap back and take a bite of yours, it’s heavenly. “I’m glad I got mine.” Peter agrees with the statement, “I’m sorry, babe, but pepperoni is superior. It’s all about keeping it simple.” You know he meant nothing by it, you know it meant it in a friendly way, you know it’s a regular pet name to use in passing, but he called you babe. 
Hearing the term of affection makes your skin crawl, you swallow a lump in your throat. You want to snap at him, but instead your voice comes out soft. “Please don’t call me that.” Peter’s eyes soften, he almost tells you he didn’t mean it like that, but he knows you already understand that. 
“No problem, old lady.” It took a second, but you couldn’t stop the laugh. “What did you just call me?” Peter bites his bottom lip, “well, that’s the opposite of babe, isn’t it?” It makes your smile bigger, it’s funny, if you had asked him something that simple he’d fight you on it, ask a million questions and push it until you gave up. 
For the first time in a month you really can’t remember why you thought he was so great. 
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WEEK THREE.
Natalie Greene has her hair pulled slick back in a ponytail, a determined look and hands on her hips. 
“Let’s fuck some shit up.” 
Lunch with Peter had really pushed you forward, you had strayed away from him the last few days. You still listened for him nightly but avoided him in the hallway and at school, he was everything he was not, and it made you feel queasy. 
It was time you removed him from your life, you started with blocking him on everything. From instagram to duolingo. Then, you piled up everything he left behind or things that reminded you of him, but you couldn’t touch your closet. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Enter Natalie Greene.
“I don’t know why it’s so hard for me, everything else was fine.” Natalie shrugs, your closet doors are open and she’s itching to start rummaging. “It’s not for me. What are we thinking, trash, donate, burn? Dare I say detonate?” 
You snort, “think I could do some black magic?” Her eyes light up, “I’ll look up the dark arts right now, don’t dare me.” You sigh, “I don’t care what you do with them, I just need them out of here.” Natalie Greene understands, she’s been there too a few times. Everything that reminds you of him burns like hell. A constant reminder of what’s no longer. 
It’s only five shirts and some sweatpants but it feels paralyzing. Once his clothes are gone he’s no longer, like the last year never meant anything. He cheated but you still feel like it was real for the time you had him. 
“Shit, can we raincheck the disposal?” Natalie is staring at her phone in her hand, a worried line where her lips were. “Family stuff.” You tell her it’s fine and send her out in a second, staring at the bag you started to twitch. 
It felt daunting- a looming presence. You almost got rid of him but couldn’t. It was five minutes of harsh breathing, then you drag it across the hall hoping Peter was home. You needed them gone. 
 May answered the door and you feel slightly flustered. 
“Hi, May. Is Peter home?” 
She welcomes you in the door, skipping over the makeshift laundry bag and giving a quick but squeezing hug. “How are you feeling?” If you had been asked that a week ago you’d fly off the handle, but this week it feels like you can breathe a bit better. 
“I think I’m doing pretty okay. It helped to know he cheated, it makes me miss him sixty percent less. The other forty makes me feel pathetic.” May frowns with empathy, “my college boyfriend cheated. Betrayal and hurt is a weird feeling when mixed with love.” 
You laugh, “yeah, it really is.” May clears her throat, “Peter’s in his room, he may be busy with some homework.” You thank her and move down the hallway, the plastic bag follows, half of you hopes it rips because it’s what he deserves. 
You knock and wait for his response, grunting when you swing the trash bag over the threshold and let it drop. “I have an odd request for a man.” Peter seems surprised to see you for a second, then looks at the bag and back at you. He seems a bit more weary. 
“Uh huh.” 
“I’m getting rid of his things and Nat had to dip, wanna come with?” You follow up with a wince, “I’m sorry, this is super weird and out of place.”
Peter shrugs, “if it helps, it helps. And if you’re serious, I’ll go with you.” You take a deep breath, healing and growing isn’t always comfortable. “Fuck it, let’s donate some shit.” 
You feel like you stand straighter walking out with Peter behind you, he’s carrying the dead weight and you feel accomplished. May has a raised eyebrow, you hold out your hand and settle her curiosity. 
“Don’t worry, justice is about to be served.” 
May grins at her nephew's soft smile, she’s seen and heard about you more in the last two weeks than she has in the last nine years. “It’s sounding a lot more like twenty percent.” 
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The moment things started turning south was at the donation center. You weren’t even standing super close to Peter, or radiating an aura that even suggested he was anything more than a conveniently close acquaintance. But the volunteer at the front thought differently. 
“Aw, I wish more young couples came in, it always seems to brighten up the place!” 
You feel like a force of wind caught you breathless, every inch of you froze on the spot. When she says couple you think of him, but you’re not a couple anymore. When she says ‘couple’ you feel your heart encapsulate with rubble, the idea of him makes you feel sick. 
You don’t think you could ever love again. 
Especially not with Peter, not even when he shies away with pink cheeks and tries to shrug her comment off. It’s not worth the awkwardness of announcing you’re not a couple, you both know you’re not, and she doesn’t really care if you were or not. 
“We were just in the mood to donate today,” he plays it off well. You chew on your lip and watch him fill out the donation slip, it’s second nature for Peter to take care of you, it was something he mostly failed at. 
Before the attendant can take the bag, Peter stops her by hovering his hand over it, he turns his neck and makes eye contact. “Are you sure you want to do this?” 
Your heart pounds, threatening to crack the rock. 
“I’m sure.” Because, you really are. 
Peter smiles, “any last words?” You try to think of something, nothing comes to mind other than a blur of frustration and confusion. Raising your hand you give it the middle finger, Peter’s laughing at your blank face, “c’mon, you know you wanna double it.” You do, so you did. 
It feels freeing, you’re not healed but you don’t have a daunting weight on your shoulders anymore. A satisfied smile spreads, your hands drop for a second before Peter’s high-fiving you. You’re tucked under his arm after saying his thanks to the confused volunteer, bumping your hip against his and caged in his hold you feel safe. Safer than you’ve ever felt. 
A crack in the rocks, your heart thumps wildly when he drags you opposite from where you came. “Let me buy you a hawaiian.” 
Peter is pretty. You could admit it. Never out loud, but you’d admit it silently. He’s on fire tonight, keeping you laughing and talking. He’s a perfect story teller, he has a way of pulling you in. He’s charismatic and throws himself into every role, voices and body movements.
Your chin is resting on your hand while you focus on every word of his, entranced in his excitement. A lamp hanging over your mini booth makes him look a tad yellow, but his eyes shine brighter than all hell, you never knew brown eyes could suck you in for hours. 
For a second your mind blips and you truly can’t remember his eye color. But you know they’re nothing like Peter’s. 
You forget to react, because Peter cut himself off and waved his hand in front of his face. You blink alert, he has a very charming smile, you look at a table of older women. “You good? Felt like you were trying to look into my soul.”
You can’t stop it, it's a knee jerk reaction and the moment you say it you regret it. 
“Your eyes are very pretty.” You won’t stop looking at a slice of mozzarella on a grandma’s plate. Peter hums, nodding his head like he understands, “so you weren’t trying to sacrifice me, you just got lost in my very pretty eyes.”
The crack splinters, a chunk falls off. You meet his eyes, he’s not making fun of you. You sit straighter and reach out to steal a piece of pepperoni from his slice, acting like you’re not blatantly flirting with ease.
“I just haven’t noticed them before I think.” 
Peter’s quiet for a moment, his arms are crossed on the table, fingers tap on his elbows. 
“Well, I’m glad you are now.” It’s a little too much, he’s not allowed to entertain you back, he could hurt you too. 
You clear your throat, “I need to ask you something.” Peter stops tapping, it’s like he’s been waiting on you to say it. “Yeah, anything.” 
You lean forward a little, “did you tell my mom about the party last year?” He looks slightly disappointed that was your question, “nope.” Your eyes narrow, “I’d rather us not start a friendship built on lies.” 
Peter lights up, “friendship?” A displeased expression was shared, “thin ice, Parker.” He seems a bit more determined to tell the truth this time. 
Peter sits up and interlocks his fingers, “I promise I didn’t tell her. Mr. Harrington did. And I know how much you like him and I thought you would stop going to see him if you knew and he’s super old so I just kinda… let you believe it was me.” 
Your heart breaks free, it’s loud and pumping and it’s making you feel alive. A sense of urgency to do something to him makes you itch, you have to pull your hands to your lap. In that second, for whatever reason, all you want is to feel his skin on yours. 
He’d be willing to do anything for you, even at the cost of you hating him. 
“You’re the most selfless person I know and it’s kind of insufferable.” Peter rolls his eyes, “just admit you like me, god.” Your breath stutters, but you move right past it. 
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep talking about the petting zoo.” 
Peter jumps back into character, “alright, so I’m down on-”
For the first time in weeks you slept through the night, until three am. You woke up on your own, a mental alarm had you looking out for him. After you hear the comforting chorus of movement, you hide under your pillow and go back to sleep.
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Your world is falling apart. You were on the track to healing, each piece of your heart was slowly mending back together. Until news of Natalie Greene going out of town hits, you collapse to your bed with an arm over your eyes. Facetime carries her into your room.
“Why couldn’t your grandma die next month?” She nods her head, folding a tank top to drop it into her carry on. “So true, she should’ve known you were having a crisis.” You nod, “it’s so hard knowing the world doesn’t revolve around me.” 
The room goes quiet as she moves around and packs. You contemplate telling her, you didn’t want a spectacle and you didn’t even know if or what you wanted from Peter. But damn if you hadn’t been thinking about it for days. You wonder if she’s picked up on the hints, you’d been relying on her less and less. 
“Are you going to hang with Peter while I’m gone?” Your mind flashes to him, the past few nights he’d sent you a few videos that he thought you’d like. And you did, even if he didn’t know you as deeply as he has until recently, he still makes you feel seen. 
He would send you things he found funny. 
Peter sends you things he knows you’d find funny. 
“Maybe. He buys me pizza so he’s cool to have around, I guess.” Natalie Greene snorts, “and I’m sure he makes fun of your pineapple.” It feels like your heart shines, “no, actually. He gets it.” Your eyes flash to the top of the screen, a text from Peter pops up, you waste no time hitting the notification. 
‘Wanna come have some brownie cookies?’ 
You bite your lip, rising from your bed you shuffle into your slippers. “Hey, Nat, I gotta go. I’m really sorry about your grandma.” She rolls her eyes, “she was super old and I didn’t really know her, it’ll be cool to see my cousins though.” 
“Have fun on the trip!” 
A wicked grin, “have fun with Peter.” You don’t even fight her on it, she knew exactly what you were doing. 
Your knuckles tapped on the door, it was opened in seconds. Peter had a glow like you’ve never noticed, he only got more and more pretty. A smile stretched across his face, you love how it always meets his eyes.
“Hi.” 
Your slippers softly scrape the wood floors when you enter, “hi.” Peter gestures you towards the kitchen, and for whatever reason, you reach behind you and tug him along. 
“Okay, okay, so what did she say?” 
Your legs swing on the counter, mumbling between mouthfuls of the dessert fusion you’re fully invested in Peter’s story. He had caught Mrs. Hopkins and the chef that lives on floor two in an argument, and it turns out Mrs. Hopkins was the complex's porch pirate. 
Peter swallows his own bite, “she asked me to back her up! And I was all like, ‘hell no, you stole my aunt’s juicer.’” You gasp, “not May’s juicer.” Peter holds a finger up, ‘nah, I caught her red handed. She was so pissed and on the spot she snapped at me like, ‘it wasn’t a juicer, it was a butter dish.” 
You slap a hand over your mouth, “oh no.” Peter’s eyebrows raise, turning his back to grab a glass of milk. “I wish you could’ve seen the look on her face when she realized she told on herself, it was awesome. She was spewing shit all the way to the elevator.” 
Finishing your treat your tongue feels thick, holding out a hand in a silent request for a swig of his milk. Peter looks between your hand and his glass, he looks weary. 
“Are you sure you wanna drink after me? I figured you’d be scared of my cooties.” You motion for the cup, he passes it over and you wrap your palms around the glass. 
“Oh, you absolutely have boy cooties, they just become non-contagious at puberty.” Peter runs his tongue over his teeth, “I think I forgot that lesson, what else can I expect from puberty?” You laugh on a gulp of milk, “trust me, Parker, puberty hit you like a bus. 
He steps closer, you set the glass down next to you. 
“Is that a good thing?” 
You look over his face, he’s got a defined bone structure but soft features. A boyish charm coats over him, it’s just enough of a hint of innocence you beg he never loses it. It’s a no brainer, he was attractive, your eyes flash to his mouth, it’s a wild instinct and you try your best to shake it off. 
“Yes. I’d say puberty was very kind to you.” Peter takes another step, “how so?” Pretending to think about it, like you weren’t already, you take a second to respond. You don’t notice him taking another step. 
“Well, you have a nice jawline.” Peter tilts his head slightly, “is that all?” You’re not sure what it is, but there’s an undertone and it fills you with excitement. 
“And very nice curls.” 
“I don’t think that has anything to do with puberty.” You suppose he’s right, “you’re taller than me now.” You had an inch on him when you were kids. Peter’s suddenly right in front of you, “especially now.” He has to look down at you while you blink up at him from the counter, “yeah, you’re like a giant.” 
Your mind betrays you, his lips are unnaturally pink, they look like they’re the right amount chapped. “Anything else?” You’re struggling, all you can think about is him but you can’t follow a train of thought. 
“You smell really good,” you take a deep breath when his hands rest on either side of you, he’s caging you in and everything builds with anticipation, you fight the urge to pull him in. “You’re just complimenting me now.” 
You shake your head, “do you know how many teenage boys smell bad?” It’s not your fault, he’s so close his scent has invaded your senses, you wanted to inhale him until you turned blue. 
“One more.” You try to think, he’s making it very hard. It takes a second but you have one, proud to have pulled it from the chamber, a sly grin takes place. 
“You-” Lips on yours, it happened so fast you couldn’t catch up. Mind spinning when you realize Peter Parker was kissing you, you know you should shove him off, but it feels right. It’s over as quick as it started. 
You just got out of a relationship, one that tugged you to one of the lowest points of your life so far. It’s not lost on you when you weren’t the one to pull away, but you’re the first one to comment on it. 
“You shouldn’t have done that.” You weren’t mad, you were warning him, he doesn’t know what lies ahead.
“But I really wanted to.” His eyes keep looking you over, was he expecting you to scream? 
It’s dangerous territory, your voice feather soft when it comes out. “And do you want to again?” Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.
It felt like the air went still in the room, everything slowly melted into the background until it was only you and him. The quiet hum of the air conditioner faded into silence, the scene music from a movie on the tv in the room behind you diluted to nothing. 
It was just you and Peter, and he was getting closer. It was achingly slow, you know what he’s doing, he’s giving you a chance to escape. Bail before it became too real, but has he thought about the possibility of you leaning closer? 
What are you doing?
His lips hovered over yours, when you closed your eyes he took it as permission. 
You’d always heard of the fireworks, that kisses are like explosions of happiness. And they were, and you loved them, but there were no fireworks. At least with him. 
With Peter, your entire sky brightened. Little prickles of electricity dolly chained up your spine, an explosion of color in your mind. It made you starving and whole in one touch, his body made to fit against yours perfect. 
You wonder if he has the same feeling, you think he does when his hand cups your face, the other one tugs your hip so you fit him better. It’s bold of you, but when you feel that entranced you don’t know how to stop. Your tongue swipes on his bottom lip, it’s very clear he doesn’t know what to do. 
You pull away for air, Peter’s pupils blow wide before looking at the floor. His head feels like it’s spinning, the girl he’s always wanted, wants him right back. Peter feels very aware of his surroundings, how hard his heart is pounding, how you’re holding him to you, how you’re tracing his bottom lip with your thumb, how you’re leaning back in, how he’s holding you into him. 
You take the lead, it’s slow but you build his confidence, he’s a quick learner. 
In minutes you’re nearly laid back on the kitchen counter, you’re about to suggest he takes it to his bedroom, but the thought of breaking away from his kiss keeps you stationary. Peter’s locked to you too, your legs hooked around his waist, keeping him as close as he could get. 
All you can think is Peter, Peter, Peter.
He claims he doesn’t know much, but it feels like he’s intune with your body. Peter matches you perfectly, you never knew a makeout session could bring so much tension. A moan pulls from the back of your throat when his thumb peeks under the cotton of your shirt. 
Peter breaks the kiss, little huffs of air billow from your mouth while he kisses down the side of your neck. When he finds the spot that makes you squirm he nibbles gently, a hand tangled at the back of his hair lets him know he’s doing something right. 
Especially when you arch into his touch as his hand confidently slides under your shirt, digging his fingers into the plush skin over your ribcage. “Fuck, Peter,” it’s breathy and eggs him on, he wants to hear nothing but that for the rest of his life. 
Caught up in the moment neither of you heard the door, or noticed the third person in the room, until shock spewed from their mouth. 
“Oh, wow!” 
Peter rips himself away, his instinct is to hide your face into his chest. You’re grateful, it saves the embarrassment of looking his aunt in the eye after she watched you fold under his hands. Peter’s mind is racing, his only priority was keeping you comfortable.
Fuck, he kisses so sweet. Shut up!  
“Hey, May. Get anything good at the farmers market?” 
Blatant ignorance and casual conversation was the route he took, and it seemed to have worked. Cloth bags hit the counter, you stay hidden, Peter’s hand pressed into the back of your head. He’s sturdy, your head lays perfect on his sternum, it was made for you. No, stop.
“Yes! I got more of that european bread we really liked.” As much as you would like to be ignored, May wouldn’t let you. A pat on your knee sent your arms curling around Peter’s waist, he tried his best to settle the clench of his heart. 
Fits perfect, fits perfect, fits-
“You’d love it, it’s roasted garlic, real pieces too!” 
It may be rude to ignore the owner of a home, but you weren’t looking at her for another ten lightyears. At least you give a muffled response into Peter’s chest, “sounds good.” May giggles a little, you hear the fridge open and rustling. 
“Are you gonna hide from me forever?” 
If Peter could play pretend, so could you. You pushed him away softly, “Peter made brownie cookies.” May raises an eyebrow, directing her attention towards her nephew. “Ever since that first plate of cookies Peter’s been baking like it’s his job.” 
He’s perfect.
“You made the cookies?” Peter had told you May did, you’re sure of it. He nods quickly, “I figured if I told you, you’d think they were poisoned.”
You want his touch, you want him pressed into you again. This has to stop.
It’s dramatic, but you’ll bite. “Smart boy.” Peter has a gleam in his eye, “I really am.” 
May knows when she’s third wheeling, she makes an excuse to move to the living room, Peter nods towards his room. You accept his hand down and look behind you at the door. He was frustratingly magnetic, you wanted to do nothing more than fall into bed and stay forever attached to his lips. 
It was a new rush of feelings, most of them new and almost dangerous. You wanted to explore and learn and take some of Natalie Greene’s advice and grow. But more than wanting, you knew you had to leave. 
You were still healing, and if it hurt this bad with him, where nothing felt like this, you can’t imagine the burn this could leave.
“I should go,” you can’t look him in the eye, he’d suck you back in. You’d never be able to leave, you have to leave.
“Is this because of May? Cause we can leave and..” You shake your head fast and take a step back, he’s too kind, too understanding, too new and thrilling and, and… loving. You don’t deserve him or what he brings, you can’t bear the imagination of what his heartbreak would feel like. 
“No, not May.” There was only one thing that kept you from him before, you were still pulling the same childish tricks. Something about Peter Parker caused you irrational terror. 
“I told you, you shouldn’t have done that.” 
Peter tries to look at you, you take another step back. “You asked if I wanted to do it again.” He can’t use logic, it won’t work here. “That didn’t mean do it again.” 
“You sure? Cause it really seemed like you wanted me to do it again.” You feel choked for air, he’s backing you into a corner. 
“You understood wrong. I need to leave.” Your footsteps paused when Peter called out your name, a timid look over your shoulder made him continue. 
“Don’t do this. I know what you’re doing, and it doesn’t end well for either of us. We’re not eight anymore.” Your game was called, you didn’t want to do this, you don’t want to be mean. Why did he have to make you do this to him? 
“Desperation isn’t a good look on you.” 
Peter crosses his arms over his chest, his tongue swipes over his top teeth before poking out his cheek. “Of course it isn’t.” You’re very aware that he expected this to happen, he expected you to push him away and close the gates. If he did, then he shouldn’t have kissed you. He brought this on himself. 
“Nothing is.” What’s a final blow if only to tie the bow on no future contact? Peter took a deep breath and gives you the escape you were looking for, “I’ll see you later.” You shake your head, “no, you won’t.” 
The hallway is cold and so is your heart. Removing Peter as a potential threat didn’t do much, somehow you think it feels worse than what it would be like to love and then lose him. 
Too bad he wasn’t worth the risk. 
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You knew dinner was going to be awkward. You did your best to get out of it but it was deemed impossible, you were about to gouge your eyes out of your head just for a solid excuse. But your mom said that you weren’t allowed to do that. So you didn’t. 
Peter on the other hand, looked like he was having the time of his life. Especially when May shot you a wink across the table when he reached over your plate. You threatened your eye with a fork, your mom gave you a nasty glare. 
“Butter, please?” 
You cross your arms and scoff, “get it yourself, penis.” Your mom gasped out your name, appalled you would say something like that. She told you to look him in the eye and apologize, using his real name. Peter showed no reaction, chewing on a buttered biscuit. 
“I’m sorry for calling you a penis, Peter.” It was the least authentic apology he’s ever heard. 
“Aw, let them be kids, they’re in love.” 
Your knife hits your plate so hard it chips, Peter chokes on his bite, crumbs fall from his mouth as he tries to speak as fast as he can. “No, no, May… no.” 
You feel the walls closing in, the more you run from it, the more it’s announced. You can’t win. It’s brutal silence on your end, you’re shutting down into a shell of a human. 
“Oh? I thought after-” 
Peter has your back. “After we made pizza? It was one time, May. It wasn’t like I planned it, it just happened. We were hanging out and I just really wanted pizza and I didn’t really stop to think if she wanted pizza, I just made it.” 
May plays right along, and asks you directly. “Does that mean you’re not coming over for pizza anymore?” Does that mean you’re not dating my nephew anymore?
Peter already knows the answer, he just wonders if it’s different if his aunt asks. 
“The last pizza I had burned to a crisp in the oven and it tasted really, really bad. And if that was a pizza I thought I loved, I can’t imagine how bad it would’ve been if it was my favorite.” 
Your mother has never seen you so passionate about pizza. May quirks an eyebrow, she looks at Peter while she asks. 
“You don’t trust Peter in the kitchen?” 
You’re doing your best to ignore Peter’s eyes on the side of your face, you’re trying to pretend you’re not being vulnerable. 
“He’s the only person who could burn it all down.” 
May clicks her tongue, she’s more focused on cutting up her dinner. “For what it’s worth, as Peter’s aunt, he’s a great chef. He takes his time in the kitchen, he doesn’t mind waiting for the yeast to bloom. Because when the dough is ready, he’s really gentle at scooping it up and helping it turn into whatever it needs to be.” 
You turn to Peter, he gives a shy smile. “You’re not scared of burning yourself?” 
A shrug, “It’s a precaution you take each time you cook, but from what I’ve learned, burns heal.” 
“Scars don’t.” 
Peter tilts his head, “they fade over time, don’t they?” 
May speaks up, she’s looking right at you. It goes past the depth of high school love, it goes to the deepest mark one could leave on a heart. A lover lost too soon. 
“They do.” 
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WEEK FOUR
Peter Parker has been on your mind for four days, (and nights,) straight. Each morning you wake at 3:02 and hear his muffled metronome. You’ve gotten avoiding him down to a T. The first morning you woke up early to watch him leave, then planned a ten minute window in case he was running late one day, and left around that. 
You’ve been successful so far. But there was an underlying tug that wanted to be caught, you wanted him to hold you close to him and tell you that he wasn’t going anywhere and nothing safe is worth the risk. 
Is that why you let yourself be caught by him this morning? 
“Good morning,” it was shot over his shoulder while he locked the door. You grumbled out to him, Peter doesn’t mind you didn’t use words, you were directing expression towards him and that’s enough. “Wanna walk together?” 
The idea sends flutters to the middle of your stomach, a brief image of his hand in yours while your hip bumps against his every so often and you laugh at whatever he tells you takes over your mind. “If you want to walk near me while we go to the same location, that’s on you.” 
Peter’s hot on your heels down the steps, “that’s a total yes.” You ignore him and try to subtly shut the main door on him, it doesn’t work. “How have you been?” Walking faster, you hope he catches the hint. Peter matches pace perfectly- damn him and his puberty bus and his big strides.
“Personally, I have been mourning the loss of my favorite neighbor coming over.” Peter blinks at the side of your face while carrying a grin. “I mean you, by the way. In case you needed that hint.” 
“Got it. Thanks.” You know you need to pick a side, but something in you won’t let you ignore him. 
“Welcome. You know, if you’re free, you’re invited for dinner tonight.” You pout sarcastically, “tell May I’ll miss her presence.” Peter bumps your arm, you feel like dropping to your knees. “She keeps asking about you, I’m running out of excuses.” 
You scoff, “excuse what? You can tell her the truth, penis.” Peter almost loses you when you swerve around a stranger’s shoulder, in one second he’s next to you again. “And what would the truth be?” 
“You pushed yourself onto me,” you stare at Peter in shock when your wrist was grabbed tightly, you came to a stop on the sidewalk with him. He maneuvered to stand in front of you, noticing every inch he had on you; it seemed like his playful mood vanished. 
“Hey, I was just messing with you, okay? I thought you just didn’t want to talk about it, but pushing myself on you is the last thing I want you to think I did. If I made you uncomfortable, I’m really sorry.” 
Your features softened, your words sent him into a shame spiral. It was annoying how upset he looked with himself, even if you had to swear him off forever, you didn’t want him to think he sexually harassed you.
“I was kidding, Peter. I don’t think you pushed yourself onto me, you gave me the option to back out and I pulled you in. I’d just rather never speak or think about it ever again.” 
A weary smile, “that bad, huh?” You pulled your coat tighter around your chest, the cold making the tip of your nose numb. “Quite the opposite, really.” Before you could fall into temptation and kiss him in the middle of the city, you pulled away to keep heading towards school. 
“Can I ask what that means?” You nod, “sure.” You offer up no more explanation. 
“Well?” You look at him for a second, “oh, sorry. You can ask all you want, doesn’t mean I’ll tell you.” 
“You’re gonna inflate my ego, you’re telling me it was so good you can’t put it into words.” 
You give him a side eye, “I wasn’t aware there would be so much talking when I allowed you to walk next to me.” 
“That’s not denial…” His cadence was sing-songy. 
“You’re in denial.” 
Peter shook his head confidently, “I’m not in denial, I am very okay with the fact I like you.” 
You came to a halt. He’s not allowed to feel this way, he doesn’t know what it could bring. Has he not seen what love can do to a person? Has he not watched you crumble into a thousand pieces over and over throughout the weeks? 
And why did his confession turn every piece of rubble into stained glass? 
Peter’s not allowed to like you because reciprocation leads to temptation which bleeds into dating where it comes to a crashing end in heartbreak. 
You tried to put on a serious face, but you know Peter sees the mask. “Don’t.” Pointing a finger at his chest, “don’t say that, don’t think that, and sure as shit don’t act on it.” 
Peter must think you’re joking because he pushes your hand down before lightly laughing. “Don’t act on it? I already did.” Is that what he did? Did he plan that moment? You thought it was a spur of the moment thing, but maybe he’s been planning it for weeks. 
How long has he liked you? 
It doesn’t matter. You’ll be the adult and end it before it can start, he doesn’t know what this can do to a person. You can do it nicely, or at least try. Maybe he’d find it more sincere if it comes from the heart. 
“Peter, have you ever had your heart broken? Like, really broken? Because I wouldn’t put that on my worst enemy. It’s a type of emotional pain that turns physical, I mean, have you ever been so heartbroken you throw up? Have you ever been so sad you don’t eat for days? Have you ever cried so hard you almost fainted? It’s shit, Peter.” 
“But was it worth it?” 
Did he not hear anything you just said? “What does that mean?” 
Peter adjusts the strap of his backpack, “you loved him, right?” You don’t need to give an answer, he already knows it. “Do you regret it? Even with the heartbreak, did that undo all the good that came out of it all?” 
You lick your bottom lip, it’s been a circulating thought. Love opened up doors you didn’t know were closed, in the end it was a beautiful tragedy. But that’s the worst part, with Peter you don’t know what it would feel like. You’ve only had a glimpse and it tells you that it’s something that’s going to change you forever. 
If Peter leaves, if Peter cheats, it’ll kill you, it’d be nothing like when he did it and you can’t take the gamble. 
It was worth it with him, he made you grow. With Peter you’d take ten steps back and never be the same. 
“There isn’t always a silver lining, Peter.” You refuse to answer. 
“So, what, you’re never going to fall in love again?” Peter’s matching your pace again, you can’t wait until you’re in the four safe walls of Midtown. 
“No, I just can’t fall in love with you.” 
“Can’t is a funny word choice.” 
“Won’t.” You exhale sharply, “I won’t fall in love with you.” 
Peter has no interest in your claim, “it’d be easier if you just said you didn’t like me, but you’re not.” 
You don’t have to answer, you can choose to ignore him entirely and you’ll be doing just that. 
“I don’t like this conversation anymore and I’m ending it.” It works, only for twenty seconds, but it worked until Peter thinks he has a brilliant idea. 
“Break up with me.” 
Your steps slow, his did the same. Peter’s hands were tucked in his jacket pockets, the urge to kiss him breathless unmeasurable. You fight past it, “huh?” 
“You said I don’t know real heartache, so I want you to break up with me. Right here.” He’s entirely way too amused for you, even the idea makes you feel sick. 
“I’m not going to break up with you, Peter. I can’t get another tardy slip.” You keep walking, Peter hopped to keep up. “Ten seconds, just end it.” 
“No.” 
“C’mon, it’ll be easy. Dump me and break my heart.” 
“We’re not dating. I can’t dump you, even if I wanted to.” What happened to ending the conversation? 
You hear the smirk when he speaks. “If.”
“I’m not playing your word games, Peter.” Because you’re not. 
A laugh, “then break up with me.” 
You thought he was supposed to be smart. How has he not gotten any of this, does he think it’s a joke, does he think you’re playing? Peter has no idea what this means, but you do. 
Tugging at his elbow, you stop him in his tracks. Staring into his eyes and daring yourself not to get lost, you try to make things extremely clear. “I can’t break up with you, Peter. I barely made it through him. I wouldn’t know how to handle losing you. You’d hurt me too bad and I can’t take that risk.” 
Peter’s voice is soft when he answers, you want to close your eyes and have it carry you to heaven. “I can’t break up with you either. You’d be able to hurt me just as bad.” It takes you from your trance, “you would. Because I’m a bad girlfriend. If I wasn’t he wouldn’t have replaced me before he could end it.” 
Peter’s eyebrows pull together, you stuff your hands into your coat pockets to keep from smoothing them out. “Hey, woah, let’s pause there. You did nothing wrong. Even if you were a bad girlfriend, and trust me, you weren’t, that would never justify him doing that to you. Nothing could.” 
It’s nice of him, but he doesn’t know that. “We didn’t talk, you don’t know I wasn’t a bad girlfriend.” Peter scoffs, like the idea of you calling yourself a bad girlfriend offends him personally. “He made you cry all the time,” the words followed by your name. “Bad girlfriends don’t cry, bad boyfriends make their good girlfriends cry.” 
Peter heard you. Every time you cried, every time you felt unloved, every time you sobbed out an ‘I’m sorry’ for something you didn’t know you did. He listened, Peter listened like you did each night. How did you never notice the universal gimmick?
If you think back, most of the bad moments were at the hands of him. And for Peter to notice when you were worlds away from his person, makes your heart wrench inside your chest. You know you already drew the line and there’s no crossing it, but it’s nice living in a moment make believe. 
“You’d never be able to call me babe.” It was a shitty pet name. You never liked it. 
You get flashed with a toothy grin. “That’s okay, I have a million to choose from.” 
Or the obvious hang up, “May would totally hate me too, she knows I’ll take your virginity.” Peter waves you off, “we don’t know that.” You quirk an eyebrow, “we don’t?” Peter corrects himself, “she doesn’t have to know that.” 
You chuckle from the back of your throat. “But she will. You wouldn’t be able to hide it. I definitely wouldn’t be able to hide it.” Peter looks down for a second, you follow his gaze, you wonder if you’re both zoned in on a black skid on the side of his shoe. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 
“I don’t know. It’s like, you just get a lot more… touchy, I guess. Nothing’s off limits anymore.” 
A monotone reply, “yeah, that sounds like a total nightmare.” 
It gets too real. Make believe time is over, now you have to be an adult and stick to your guns. 
“It wouldn’t work between us, Peter.”
You feel sad, there’s no good answer and both of you would be left with a bruise. He wanted more than you’d let yourself give and you wanted more than you’d let yourself have. Peter was right, you could hurt him just as bad, and you’d never forgive yourself. 
Peter made himself a constant, someone you could really rely on the last few weeks, and if you lose that you don’t know how you’d ever be okay again. 
“If you think so.” His kind smile doesn’t meet his eyes. It’s a quiet journey the rest of the way, both of you receiving a tardy slip and parting ways in the hall without a word or glance.
Peter Parker had gotten his wish. You just broke his heart. 
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This was all Natalie Greene’s fault. If she wasn’t stuck states away at a funeral she would’ve held you accountable and used every means necessary to stop you from going to Peter’s. 
It could also be Peter’s fault. He should’ve never kissed you like he did, he should’ve never made your heart beat with purpose and left a sear where he touched. Doesn’t he know you could never forget it? 
It also didn’t help that you were drunk. Not drunk enough to be slamming into walls and slurring words, but enough to stop that part in your brain to hold you back from the things you truly wanted. Like your neighbor. 
It had been three days of nothing and that wasn’t Peter’s choice. He respected your decisions too much. If you didn’t want him in your life, he wouldn’t be. Doesn’t he know that just makes you want him more? 
Peter wasn’t at the party, you didn’t expect him to be, but you were a little hopeful he’d surprise you and show up. He didn’t. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t on your mind with each shot you took, or when you stopped for pizza with a group of friends, when everyone teased you for pineapple but you knew Peter wouldn’t. 
You grabbed him a slice of pepperoni without thinking. Or maybe you were. It was an excuse to talk to him, to see him, to touch him. You could take it home and reheat it in the morning, or you could lean into your excuse of a few too many and knock on his door. 
It’s Peter’s fault. He really shouldn’t have kissed you like that, he doesn’t understand his power. 
Harsh banging. It’s over your head how late it is, you have important things to do. Like, lay over his body in his bed like you kiss down his neck, or squirm with harsh whimpers when he kisses down yours. You bet he likes to cuddle too, he never did, but Peter seems like he couldn’t get enough of you. 
If you couldn’t date Peter you could use him as a rebound, right?
Faster knocking, why isn’t he answering? At your loudest, the door opens. He was sleeping, you could tell by the puffy eyes but you didn’t look at his face too long, no, Peter was in nothing but a pair of boxers. 
When the fuck did he get so toned? You would’ve reached out for a light graze, but he stopped you. 
“You’re so lucky May’s on overnight duty.” No, you’re lucky because he’s half naked and sleepy, you’ve never seen anyone so tempting. It feels like you’re dying and only he could save you. 
You can’t help it, your palm connects with his chest, it’s there longer than a second. It’s less about pushing him aside and more about touching him, and he knows that. Peter talks at a normal volume for the hour, “what are you doing here?” 
Your thumb traces his collarbones, “I brought you pizza.” Your breath skips when he turns his head to the side to check the time on the microwave in the kitchen, his jawline ultra toned. 
“At one in the morning?” Peter’s amused, you don’t think he would’ve ever been so kind if you disrupted his sleep. You nod, “I was thinking of you.” You raise the small box, just as proof as you really did get him a slice. 
Peter takes it with a smile. “Thanks, kid.” You don’t know why, but you really like that one. 
“Can I come in?” If he thought all you wanted was to share a midnight snack, he was terribly mistaken. The door widened in response, you made sure to brush against his side, he said nothing.  
Following him into the kitchen, you have a flashback. It’s one you want to reenact, maybe if you sit in the same spot he’ll catch the drift. A blue wave of light washes over him when his snack is stored for morning, he looks angelic. 
You don’t think you’ve ever been this fascinated with him. 
“Now I understand all the song references about refrigerator lights.” Peter looks over his shoulder, his grin makes you feel like you’re flying. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He emerges with two water bottles, cracking the lid on yours and passing it over. His rests on the counter. He doesn’t need water but you do and he’s not about to make you feel singled out. 
You think it might be too late. You think you might already be falling. 
“I don’t know, but I just get it.” He’s letting you do all the talking, it’s odd, you’re not used to being listened to. If Peter realizes what you’re doing, he says nothing. Maybe you just have to point it out. 
You gesture to yourself, the real reason you came over finally announced. 
“Do you see where I’m sitting?” 
Peter nods, “I do.” 
Your fingers tap on the countertop, “remember the last time I sat here?” Peter breathes deep, you wonder if he’s thinking about it right now. “I do.” 
You wait. He makes no move. Where’s your kiss?
“Well? Are you gonna do it again?” You pucker for good measure, just in case there was an inkling of uncertainty on his end. You’re making it clear what you want. A faulty smile, you don’t like it one bit. 
“No,” at least he sounds sorry about it. But he likes you, he told you himself, why would he deny you? Doesn’t he know how much you need this? 
“Why not? If you think this is a trick, it’s not. If you want, I’ll kiss you first.” You jump down but you’re held back by a hand, he’s literally pushing you away. It’s a feeling that causes a tug, you really don’t like it. 
“You’re drunk,” Peter follows the statement with your name, he’s not mean but he’s also not going to change his mind. 
You scoff, buzzed would be more accurate. “I’m not drunk.”
“Drunk enough you’re allowing yourself to have this conversation.” 
He has a very fair point. 
“Liquid courage, kiss me?” Peter shakes his head, “you made it clear nothing would happen, so nothing is going to happen.” 
You grin, “consider it practice then.” Your words make him frown, “you don’t want this.” Who is he to tell you what you do or don’t want? 
“How do you know I don’t want this?” 
“Because this isn’t you.” 
You feel a tightness in your chest, he doesn’t get to think he knows you more than you do. “You don’t know me, Peter. You just have an idea of me.” 
“You’re hurt and confused. I won’t take advantage of that, being mad at me won’t make me change my mind.” 
Where was his care coming from? He didn’t care about you this much and neither should Peter. It wasn’t normal, was it? But it’s also not fair to compare Peter to him at every chance, especially because Peter only ever seems to outshine. 
“Why didn't you act like this a year ago?” If he truly cares, where was it before?
“You mean when you had a boyfriend?” 
Is that why he waited until now to be a friend? Did he think you’d be sad and have weak defense, making it easy for him to get first in line? “Is that what it is? You waited until I was dumped to put on this act and lay it on me while I’m all confused? How long have you had this planned out?” 
Your words are like daggers, the things you’re alluding to, he would never do them. Ever. 
“Don’t. I’ve always liked you but you had a boyfriend and the last thing on my mind was trying to get with you when it ended. You were so miserable, I just wanted to be a friend or something, but it changed and maybe a little piece of it was me being selfish. I made the first move, several times. I kissed you, I asked you out, I told you I liked you. And you said no. I respect your no, why don’t you?” 
You could tell him the truth, tell him that he was right and his love terrified you because you haven’t felt something so raw before in your entire life. Peter wasn’t yours, or anywhere close to it. It shouldn’t be natural to feel magnetized to him. 
You could tell him the truth, but you’re better at hiding behind false walls. 
“I liked you better when you didn’t care about me.” 
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” 
He knows you’re lying but he won’t make you admit it, no, he’ll push you into your corner of lies until you force your way out with the truth. Peter Parker will not chase you. 
Would it be wrong to push him so far away he wouldn’t let you chase him too? 
“You have a superiority complex. That’s why you can’t find a girlfriend, or any friend really. You think you’re better than everyone else and it’s a natural repellent.” You back up towards the door, you spit words as they come to your mind. 
“I was willing to do it. I was willing to give you a shot but you ruined it for yourself. You’re going to look back on this moment and regret it.” 
Peter really doesn’t care for your dramatics. It’s impressive he can one, handle it and two, make you check yourself. “Regret not taking advantage of a drunk girl? Is that what you’re insinuating?” 
“No! I just meant that… I don’t know what I mean, Peter! I don’t know anything and you’re not helping in the slightest and everything about you makes me want to fucking cry or scream or, or… I don’t know.” Your voice trails, it’s the most honest you’ve been in weeks. 
“I don’t know anything anymore, Peter.” 
Everything you’ve ever thought about love has been wrong.
He made you feel flightless. But Peter, Peter made you feel free. Peter made you feel like you were flying at full speed, like the wind washes over your cheeks so harshly you’re in a permanent grin. You’ve never seen the world from this high up, in this much color, it’s never been so beautiful. 
The flight is amazing, thinking about stopping it hurts you. How would it feel to be on the ground again, to walk around, to be without wings and treetops and colors and wind? How would it feel to be without Peter? 
Would it feel like an agonizing death? 
Would your wings ever be patchable again? 
Questions that make you realize the closer you get to him, the harder you’ll hit the ground. You’re okay with falling, you’re able to brace yourself the best way you can. But will Peter be there to catch your landing? 
It looks like he’s trying to stop himself from hugging you, it’s a good thing he is. He might be thinking you’d yell or push him away, you think you’d just cry. 
Peter looks tired, and more than just because you woke him up. You wonder if it’s because he’s up late every other night, you want to ask him about the routine and why he broke it tonight. You won’t. 
Your back hits the door, there was only one thing you were sure of, it had been a chain reaction since. This was Peter’s fault, he’s the one that kissed you. He started it. 
“You shouldn't have kissed me, you really, really shouldn’t have. You’ve fucked this all up, penis.” 
Peter’s tired of the blame. “You came here,” he ends it with your name, like he’s pleading. 
It’s annoying, at least you tell yourself it is. If you can replace feelings with antonyms you’ll trick your brain and you’ll be right on track to hating him again and only seeing him as a void object. 
You open the door, it’s the last time you’ll allow yourself to look at his face.
It’s Peter’s fault. 
“Because you made me want to.” 
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WEEK FIVE. 
It’s way too early for the hysteric buzz of a mosquito in your ear, yet, it still sings to you while you’re locking your front door.
“Good morning.” 
You nod your head, “penis.” 
And just like that, the mosquito’s squashed. 
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You yawn so harshly that you rub at your jaw. You’re unable to sleep and miserable. You’ve tried everything under the moon and stars, nothing worked. Staring up at the ceiling you tried to count sheep but they kept turning into the tiny freckles that dotted over Peter’s cheeks. 
It wasn’t fair to keep thinking about him, you’re doing your part. You cut him out and you decided to hate him. You’re just finding out that that’s not how it works. 
3:02, you hear his window. 
3:04, your eyes finally get heavy. 
3:07, you’re dozing off. 
3:10, you’re asleep. 
It wasn’t fair. 
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Three nights later, It’s 3:02 in the morning and a window slams shut. This time, it isn’t your neighbors. This time, it was your own. You should be scared, but you don’t feel threatened, you’re curious. You pull your head from under your pillow. 
Spider-Man is at the foot of your bed, his shoulder hits the window frame when he pulls his mask off. He’s racing for air, he looks beat up, a gash crossed over his chest. 
If you didn’t have as much distain as you did, you’d be slightly shocked. 
“If you get blood on my carpet, I will fucking kill you.” 
Peter must be dizzy, because he’s imagining you in his room.
"Seriously, if you get blood on my carpet I'll have you come over tomorrow and scrub it out with your toothbrush."
Peter tries to swallow, it's hard to do. His head feels like a brick, his hands won't stop shaking.
“Hey, pesky pete, I mean it. Get the fuck outta here.”
When he holds his eyes close, then opens them, he still sees you there. Peter looks down at his hands, turning them back and forth. They go in and out of focus, it’s dizzying, at one point he has five hands. 
He says your name questioningly, it’s hard to get words off his tongue, his brain is moving too slow. “Yup, that’s me. Now get out.” Peter touches his chest, it’s beet red. His shoulder is killing him, he stumbles and slams into the wall- now you’re sitting up in bed. 
“Peter, are you okay?” It’s pure worry, the act is dropped for a second, he’s not normal. He’s not answering, you think he’s trying but he can’t bring himself to speak, he’s lagging in real time. One foot hits the floor, the rest of you perched in your bed keeping an eye on his frame.
“Peter.” You need his focus on you.
He presses his hand to his wound, a last ditch effort to protect your carpet. Then, he hits the floor. You jump up, “Peter? Peter, are you okay? Peter,” he’s passed out and tore up to shreds. Every bit of you wants to scoop him into your lap and hold him tight, but instead, you get to work. 
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Peter flies up from the bed gasping for air, his face is cold and wet. The source is your twisted grin above him, a water glass held tightly. 
“Oh, good. You’re up.”
Peter pats his chest, a blur of last night follows. He sits up in a haste, a tug in his side makes him cradle it, you both wince at the same time. 
“Yeah, I tried doing the best I could, but I wasn’t sure if there was something under that.. Or how to take it off. You probably have significant damage.” 
“Thanks.” His mouth is dry and his voice crackly, it sends a zing up your spine. Peter’s never felt so weak after a rough night, his head is pounding and he can feel the crunch of dried blood under his suit. 
“Can I get some of that or are you still punishing me?” The only reason you give him the rest of the glass is because you like Spider-Man. He has a job to do, Peter on the other hand, could die of thirst. 
“You passed out on me last night.” 
Peter chugs the glass, you almost think about getting him another. “I did.” 
You nod, “I had to lug you up here, you’re extremely heavy when you’re dead weight.” He almost smiles at the imagery, instead he glances down and realizes you did your best attempt at working on the gashes over his chest and arms through the spandex. 
Even as he was passed out and rendered useless. You must not hate him as much as you say. It's still nice to know he's not getting special treatment because of who he is, not even Spider-Man could make you like Peter.
“Has anyone ever told you that you have excellent bedside manner?” 
“Oh no, anything I could do to make it worse?” 
“I think another water and some advil might kill me.” 
“Perfect, coming right up.” 
Peter takes another ten minutes before trying to sit up, “I should go home and shower.” Your hand gently pushes his shoulder back down, “easy, tiger. May isn’t home and you’re not about to turn your shower into a personal slip and slide.” 
Before you could regret the words, “if you want a shower, you’re doing it here.” He paused under your touch, scared you made the wrong impression, your eyes widened. “Not with me or anything, I just meant so you’d have someone around.” 
Peter doesn’t care how it has to get done, he wants the suit and dried blood off him. He nods his head and sits up a little slower before tugging at his neckline. You look away for a minute, unsure where to settle your eyes. 
“Help me get my arm out?” Your hands pull at the suit, his arm escapes, it’s covered in small knicks. It’s a subconscious move, you gently tap the cuts with your thumb. Peering into his eyes you hold a frown. 
“Does it hurt?” 
Peter feels like you might kiss his marks. “Not really, it’s mostly my side.” 
You rub his chest, “you got a gash right here.” It’s over his heart. 
“Guess we’re twinsies now.” 
If he wasn’t in pain, you’d slap his arm for the comment. Instead, you watch him carefully remove the red and blue until he’s left in his boxers. You do your best to keep your eyes on his face, Peter looks amused. 
“You’re trying really hard not to look at me.” 
“Don’t flatter yourself, Parker.” You offer a hand to pull him up, he accepts. A slow stand, his back’s more defined than his front, you almost bite your fist. Peter has the same shower as you, but you still explain how to use it. And allow him to use your products. 
“Got it.” The tap is turned on, the water hits against the ceramic. You make no effort to move, instead watching for a moment. Peter’s fingers pull at the waistline of his briefs, your eyes dart right to them. 
“You know, this is the part where most people leave.” It’s teasing. 
“I just wanted to make sure you got in okay, it’s a high step.” It’s a quarter of the truth. 
“I’ll be alright, I’ve been doing this alone for a few years.” Peter says it like it’s an inside joke, but it just makes you feel sad. He’s never had someone to be there for him, or patch up his wounds, or make sure he’s okay to shower. You wonder how many times he’s passed out on his bedroom floor with no one to drag him to bed. 
“You okay?” A hand on your skin wakes you back up, clearing your mind of Peter. 
You nod, it was a flash of empathy. You couldn’t imagine what it’s like for him. 
“I’m just sorry you’ve had to do it all alone. It doesn’t seem fair, Spider-Man does nothing but take care of other people. He should have someone to take care of him for a change.” 
It may sound like you’re insinuating, especially the way he looks at you when he responds. 
“Yeah. That’d be nice.” 
Seconds tick, it’s getting a little weird, mostly because you want to tackle him into the shower and race your mouth over every inch of skin. You clear your throat, “you want me to get you anything from your place?”
“Sure. Go shopping for me.” 
You use the copied key May left for you several years ago when you tended to some plants while her and Peter went on vacation, and it feels weird being in their home alone. It’s too quiet, the Parker’s are expressive in everything they do, when they're not around everything lacks passion. 
Peter’s bedroom is almost the same as it was the last time you were in it, the same furniture but moved around. His posters looked updated and there’s a few extra awards he’s tucked away, you frown, he should be proud of his achievements and hang them high. 
A new picture of him and May from last year, you ignore the part of your brain that says he has very kissable cheeks. His closet is clean and he’s made it easy for you to search around, each drawer is dedicated to a different clothing and everything that should be hung up, is. 
It’s something you hadn’t considered, but a man taking care of his laundry creates an entire new standard. 
Peter handed over the control when you said to get what you wanted, that means you can dress him how you please. And wouldn’t he look yummy in sweatpants and a white shirt? You don’t see how he couldn’t, it’s the male version of a sundress. 
Arms full of cotton, you tap at the bathroom door with your foot. You shout over the water, “I have your clothes.” It’s muffled but you hear him and gently push the door open, a faint outline on the shower curtain suddenly makes you shy. 
“They’re right here,” patting the clothes for good measure. Peter shoots out a ‘thanks!’ and you slowly back out until you’re sitting patiently on your bed, listening closely when the tap turns off. If he goes falling, you’re busting the door down. 
No struggles, at least not until he emerges. Peter’s fine, but you’re speechless and choked. There was no one you punished but yourself with the outfit, the t-shirt is tight on his arms and the sweatpants hug his hips just right. 
“I feel human again, thanks, kid.” You turn on manual breathing mode and distantly nod, his biceps are stretching the cotton, you lick your lips subconsciously. “No problem.” You watch a water droplet fall from his hair to his shoulder, your eyes stay hooked in place, his arms flexed when he dried it with the towel you lended him. 
“Where should I put this?” You point to your hamper, if he put it anywhere else you’d be half tempted to sniff it. “Did you tell May I was here?” You nod and finally find strength to talk to him, “yeah. I sent her a text last night, I wasn’t sure of her Spider-Man knowledge so it was a little cryptic.” You take a breath and choose honesty, no doubt he’d get a third degree. 
“I think she interpreted it as us hooking up.” Another breath, “I did not correct her.” 
Peter has a boyish smile spread, it squeezes your chest, you want him in your hold more than anything. “Nice.” You scream and cheer and thank your lucky stars when he sits next to you. He used your products, but he still smells like Peter. You want to stuff your nose into his shirt and breathe him in until you physically can’t. 
“May knows, by the way.” You nod absentmindedly, “anyone else?” “A couple friends.” You almost make a quip like ‘wow, you have friends?’ but you really can’t find it in you to pretend to hate him anymore. Especially when he almost died on your floor and all you wanted to do was tell him that you were sorry and you were mostly in love with him. 
“Can I ask a question?” 
“Shoot.” 
“Do the webs come out of you?” Peter lightly laughs, it’s always the same question off the bat. “No. I make a special web fluid and I have these bracelet kind of things to shoot them out.” 
“Oh. Cool.” You’re hiding the burn in your lower stomach at the thought of him over his desk creating a new form of technology. He’s so fucking smart it’s unfair, he’s too smart for his own good. 
He’s grinning at you, “is it?” You can’t stop staring at his mouth, “yeah.” You’d do anything to kiss him again, the last time you truly felt alive was when his lips were on yours. “Any other questions?” There’s one. But it’s not about Spider-Man. 
“Not really.” Your interest could be explored later, right now, all you needed was him. Peter finds it surprising, “I think you are the least curious person to find out about this.” You shrug, shifting your body more towards him. Peter rejected you last time but if you move like he did when he kissed you, if you move in slow for the kill, you might just get your way. 
“Give me the cliff notes.” Peter starts ticking them off with his fingers, while he’s distracted you move in closer. “Bit by a radioactive spider when I was fifteen. Heightened senses plus a cool sixth sense where I can sense danger. Super strength-” You stop listening right there, your eyes are all over his build, no fucking wonder he’s a contender for worlds fittest man. 
You shuffle in, your knee brushes his thigh, if he notices, he doesn’t say anything. You thank the sweatpants, the material too thick to give you away. “-Oh, and I stopped needing my glasses which is pretty cool. I think that’s pretty much it, but if you want me to expand on anyth…”
 Now or never.
You push up and straddle Peter’s waist, his hands immediately hold your hips. You lean down, his grip tightens. Peter mumbles out your name, you answer with a slow kiss. Your fingers drag through his hair, curls wrap themselves around your fingers, you hold them tight. When Peter licks your bottom lip, when Peter takes control, you need to feel every bit of him. 
Your hands fall down his neck and over his shoulders, then they fall to his arms, your nails lightly drag up the skin. A hum from Peter, your lower stomach clenches, you answer with a roll of your hips, he sighs into your mouth. You drag your palms over his chest, his heart is at the same pace as yours. 
You break the kiss, both of you breathing fast, it doesn’t last. You kiss over his jawline, you can’t hold it in, you can’t fucking stop yourself. “You’re so fucking hot,” wet marks are dotted down his neck. “I wanna take you right here, I wanna make you feel so good.” Another grind, this time, Peter moves with you, it pulls a moan from the back of your throat. The favor returned with a hickey at the bottom of his neck, it sent him falling into your hold. 
You’re kissing anywhere you can reach, “you gotta stop,” it comes out in a puff. “You’re killing me here.” Too bad, not so sad, you’re latched onto his mouth again, this time, you tug at the bottom of his shirt, it takes three times before you realize he’s not catching the hint and you pull it up yourself. 
You study him when it goes flying, his eyes are more pupil than brown, his lips pouty and pulling a red hue. “Lay back,” he does, you lean over him, you’re marking up his collarbones while his hand has a fistful of your hair. Then… the kisses get lower, you're grazing over his chest, delicate brushes across the semi-healed cuts, you must’ve blocked out the advanced healing perk. 
Your hand trails over his side, you soak in the grooves and muscle, your fingers brushing against the waistband of his sweatpants. Peter’s breathing hitches, you keep teasing, then bring your lower body into play. Bumps and grinds have Peter panting in your mouth, you pull back, even as he’s heaving for air, Peter’s trying to follow your kiss. 
Your fingers slip further under the elastic, holding his gaze when you tell him about your intentions. “I wanna suck you off.”
There’s a pause, then he sits up on his elbows. 
“Does this mean you want to be my girlfriend?” Does it? You don’t think so. You just want him, you want his mouth and his hands and his body intertwined with yours. But to fall into him and have him see all your worst parts, to have him hold your heart between his hands and trust he’d take care of it is too much. 
“No.” 
He’s sad. It’s not just something you think, it’s something you know. Your heart tumbles with his face. You want to hug him, you try, but he tossed you off his lap like nothing. 
“May told me to get groceries today, so I should probably head out.” You swallow tightly, you’re not liking how this is sounding. “Are you mad at me?” You feel nothing but shame at his sigh, it’s debilitating when you hear his cutthroat tone. “I’m not a fucking rebound.” But he wanted to be. He wanted this. He wanted you. 
Peter doesn’t use the f word, not ever.
“Whether I’m your girlfriend or sucking your dick, you’d still be a rebound.” Silence rings around the room. Peter’s voice is tight when he answers you. 
“Is that all you think of me? Just a rebound?” 
You don’t know how to be honest with him. You never have. “Would I be wrong?” 
“Very.” It’s clipped. You’ve never heard Peter with an edge and you don’t like it. You really don’t like being on the other side of his frustration. He’s only ever been soft and kind with you, you can’t handle any more change in your life. You need Peter to keep being Peter. 
You were so scared of losing him you went and filled his head up with words of affirmation, used your mouth on him, then turned around and shut him down. If this is only a fraction of how it stings when Peter’s upset you don’t know if you could handle more. You’ve never felt Peter’s cold shoulder before and it hurts.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” It’s bullshit, Peter can sense it too. “You did.” You chew on your bottom lip, “I did, but not like that.” Peter seems taller than normal when he’s standing over you, you can’t look him in the face, it’s nothing but being mortified. You really put your foot in your mouth. 
“Do you even like me or are you just horny?” You can’t allow yourself to answer him. 
“I’m an idiot.” Your face turns in, Peter’s laughing at himself. “I’m such an idiot. I really thought you liked me. I thought you were trying to fight it but no, that was just me daydreaming.” You’re looking up at him but he’s already standing at the door with his shirt on and suit tucked under his arm. 
“You don’t like me. You never did and now I’m trying to make pieces fit where they don’t.” He’s staring right into your eyes, he says it louder, he’s saying it for himself. “I’m not a rebound.” 
“You’ve never been properly loved and it shows.” 
And that’s the most brutal thing he could’ve ever said to you. Your lower lip trembles with the tears pricking at your eyes, he started it and you can’t stop it. 
“I fucking hate you. I hate you so fucking much, Peter.” 
No surprises there. “Yeah, I know.” He sounds just as defeated. 
When he leaves you cry harder for Peter than you ever did him, and that says something. But you’re not listening. 
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WEEK SIX.
You finally broke down and told everything to Natalie Greene. She held you in her arms while you cried about losing what you could’ve had. “I’m sure he’ll come around babe, he likes you a lot.” You shake your head, “not anymore. He hasn’t answered any of my texts in three days.” 
You can at least give yourself the benefit of trying to do damage control. He wouldn’t let you. You’d sent a flurry of texts, each one more apologetic than the next, begging him for a chance to see you but he refused. 
You think you broke him. 
“Have you tried talking to him? In person?” You shake your head, he doesn’t want to talk to you. You blew everything up and for the first time you really hate it. Two weeks ago you were begging for this but now you just feel terrible. 
“Nat, this is nothing like what I had with him and I don’t know what that means.” Your friend hugged you close, “it means you love him more than you ever did him.” You swallow hard, you knew the truth but it was different hearing it. 
It doesn’t matter anymore. You ruined it and Peter won’t talk to you anymore. 
“You should’ve seen the look on his face, Nat. He was fucking crushed. It’s like…” You take in a sharp breath, you’ve been beating yourself up over it since he walked out. “It’s like I used him.” Natalie Greene doesn’t bullshit but she’s still soft as ever with her response, it’s purred out while her acrylics scratch your back. “You did.” 
She’s your best friend. She should be on your side. “But I didn’t! I just-”
“Yeah, you did. You knew how he felt about you and you said no so he stopped trying. Then you showed up drunk and threw yourself at him, he said no and you got all butthurt. Then he comes over and somehow passes out on your floor and you offer him a blowjob.” 
Well, when she puts it like that… 
“Of course he’s going to think you flipped your script, you’re the one who kept pushing after you told him no.” Peter’s words echo in your mind, ‘I respect your no, so why don’t you?’ Because you can’t allow yourself to have him, that’s why. But… you already do, don’t you? Or, you did. 
“He’s gonna wreck me, Nat. He already is.” 
“Because you’re fighting it. I get it, babe, I’ve been where you are a dozen times. But you don’t get over heartbreak by hiding from love. I know it’s Peter Parker and he’s been your enemy since you were eight, but no matter how fast you try to run, he’s right there matching your stride.” 
You sniff into her arm, she smells like lavender and it makes you snuggle further. “I think I’ve always liked him.” You could finally admit it. Natalie’s been there for months, years possibly. “I know. You always talk about him.” 
You scrunch your eyebrows, “no I don’t.” Natalie thinks you must’ve said a funny joke because she’s laughing like it. “Yeah you do. Sure, it might have been mean things but if you truly hate someone you don’t notice everything they do.” 
You noticed everything about Peter and made sure to fill Natalie Greene in on the gossip. 
Like when he cut his hair way too short in middle school and his curls disappeared for months. 
When he slipped in mashed potatoes in the cafeteria and fumbled until he could steady himself. 
When his cheeks flamed pink because he forgot to silence his phone during a test and the Game of Thrones theme song blasted through the room as he awkwardly tried to silence the call. 
Then there’s the time he stuttered when giving an answer in biology because Lindsey Snipes was twirling her hair at him. A small tug in your stomach, the answer suddenly clear to why you’ve always hated her too. 
And when he bumped a friend's coke all over his notebook and he just watched with an open mouth while all his hard work was ruined. 
When he stumbled up the steps. 
When he hit his head with his locker.
When he stepped on his glasses. 
When he was tackled in flag football. 
When he tripped over his shoelace. 
When he got glue in his hair. 
When he winced while dissecting a frog. 
When he cracked his phone because he dropped it and a guy on the football team kicked it clear across the cafeteria while he laughed. That one didn’t make you laugh. That one made you so angry you made a point to tell Kristina, said player's girlfriend, so she could give him a well deserved tongue lashing. And not the good kind. 
When he fell asleep at the library and had a red mark on his cheek to prove it. 
When he spit milk everywhere because the one he grabbed was expired. 
When, no matter what, each time you met his eyes he’d send you a smile. And how each time there was something that made you want to give it back. 
“Natalie,” you can hear it in your voice. It’s dangerous. It’s terrifying. 
It’s worth it. 
“I think I’m in love with Peter Parker.” 
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Natalie Greene and you had carefully conducted Operation: Get Peter Back. 
Step one: Tell him, (IN PERSON) how you feel. 
Step two: See above. 
There were no other steps. Natalie Greene told you that’s all you could do. 
One day later you knocked at his door before you could lose the small amount of courage you had, it’s soft enough you hope it’s unnoticeable, you could quit and say you tried. Your heartbeat’s in the bottom of your throat, your palms itch as you rub them over your shirt. 
A smidge of relief, no one heard you. You’re about to quietly escape, May doesn’t let you off that easily. She’s surprised when your name comes from her mouth, you wonder how much she knows. “Hi, May. Is Peter home?” She’s got a weak poker face, her eyes dart to the side of the door before she’s smiling sweetly. 
“Sorry, honey. He’s out with some friends.” You know he’s right behind the wood. You speak up, you want to be sure he hears you too. “Can I leave you with a message?” May stands straighter, she wasn’t expecting this. “Of course.” 
“Can you tell him I’m sorry? And that I’ve been way too selfish and mean and a complete and utter fucking bitch to him for no good reason for nine years? Can you tell him that he’s the last person I ever wanted to hurt like this and that I really want to say it to his face?” 
May ignores the colorful language and you’re thankful for it. Her eyes trail to the side again, she smiles softly. “I’ll let him know.” There’s no need, he already knows and you both know it. His answer lies in the fact that he’s allowing May to keep up the charade. You don’t know if Peter is bad at forgiveness or just that you don’t deserve it. 
“Thanks, May.” You watch the door slowly close, when there's just a crack left you stop it with a hand. “He’s… He’s okay, right?” Your heart thumped slowly, you’re reading her face like it’s your job, you need to know he’s okay. 
A tight nod. “He’s okay.” You can breathe a little better. “Good.” 
You stare at his door for another two minutes after it shuts. 
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Is this an asshole move? Yes. 
Is this worse than what you’ve already done? Possibly. 
Peter still wasn’t talking to you and you only had one card to pull. He was home, but he wasn’t answering your texts. You think it’s time to fight fire with fire. You’re standing by his apartment door, and loudly talk into your phone. No one’s on the other side, but he doesn’t know that. 
“Hello? Yes, I’m looking for J. Jonah Jameson?” Your eyes twitch to his door, nothing. You speak a little louder. “I understand he’s busy. Well I just… Uh huh, right, I understand, yes ma’am. Is he interested in Spider-Man’s identity?” 
You hear something drop inside his apartment. 
“Yeah, I know who Spider-Man is.” Peter swings the door open, your phone is ripped from your hand. He glares down at the screen, you’re not connected to anyone. “That’s a low move.” You lightly shrug, “did you expect anything more than that?” 
A scoff, “with you? No.” Your lips twitch, you have to fight the frown. You catch his arm when he turns around, there’s no trying, he’s an unstoppable force, you’re moving with him. “I’m sorry! Peter, please! I’m sorry, I am so so sorry and I need you, okay? I need you to not be mad at me.” 
Was that honesty? Were you actually being honest with him? Your shoes squeak when he stops pulling you, you’re looking at him desperately searching his face for emotion. There is none. “You’re not a rebound. Not at all. I should’ve never called you one.” 
There’s a lot you’ve done to Peter you never should’ve done. Maybe it’s time you start owning up to it. 
“I should’ve never said you were a rebound, I shouldn’t have kissed you, I shouldn’t have shown up here drunk, I shouldn’t have kept coming back for more after I told you no. I shouldn’t have ignored you for nine years, I shouldn’t have shut you out when I was eight, I shouldn’t have hurt you.” 
Peter’s not saying anything and you don’t mind. You need to say this, you need him to know. 
“I shouldn’t have hurt you. I meant what I told May. You’re the last person I ever wanted to hurt like this. You’re Peter. You’re nice, you’re warming, you’re always positive and you buy me pizza without making fun of me and you sign off on donation slips and you let me rip your notebooks apart and you bake me things.” 
You blink through your tears. “You were there when I really needed you and you are anything but a fucking rebound to me.” Your chest feels tight, “you’re so good to me, even when I don’t deserve it. I really don’t deserve it now but I really fucking need you, Peter. I know I went on this whole speech thing where Spider-Man needs someone but-” 
“I’m here.” Relief fills you, Peter has you tucked into his chest with his arms around you. “I’m right here, okay?” It’s the selflessness that really gets you. You’ve been nothing but mean and standoffish but Peter’s hugging you because you need it. 
But really, it’s because he knows he was right. You do like him. You like him more than you’re willing to admit to him yet. 
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“Can you catch popcorn with your mouth?” 
Peter tosses a piece up and catches it with his eyes closed. You grumble and throw your own at him, he also catches that with his eyes closed. 
“Okay, turn off the powers and try again.” He laughs at you, “it doesn’t work like that.” You huff, “well, make it.” Peter tosses a piece up and dodges it, it satisfies you. “Ha. Loser normy.” 
“Did you just call me a normy?” 
“You’re just a boring normal person, I hate to tell you, but it’s true.” 
There’s been a brief pause in the actual relationship aspect of your friendship. There’s no more kissing, but you’d really like there to be. You think Peter’s starting to sweat you out and you have no issues with it. If he wants you to make the first move, you’ll do it. 
But it’s all in the timing. 
“Did I ever tell you that six weeks ago Nat said she’d do heroin with me?” Popcorn spills on the couch, Peter’s darting his eyes over your arms looking for track marks. “We didn’t do it! She said that if I still felt miserable after six weeks she’d do it with me.” 
“Miserable? What, about the breakup?” 
“Yeah,” you shove a handful of buttery styrofoam into your mouth. For the first time in weeks it doesn’t hurt to talk about. It’s not even a little sore, there’s no bitterness or resentment. There’s nothing there. It’s pure indifference. 
You pushed Peter away because you didn’t want him to be a rebound, you didn’t want to use him to get over someone else. But you haven’t thought of him since… since… you can’t remember the last time you actually thought of him. 
But when you think of Peter your heart races, your palms feel warm, your stomach flutters. His kisses ignite you. You wake up in the morning and think of him, you wake up every night to make sure he’s home and go right back to sleep. You walk with him every morning, you wave and smile at school, you come over everyday. 
You’re in love with Peter and only Peter. 
“I don’t know why I ever thought he was worth that.” 
Peter has the answer, it’s muffled around popcorn. “Cause you loved him.” You pick a piece off Peter’s shirt and crunch down on it. “Yeah, I don’t think I knew what love was. How embarrassing.”  
He smiles. Your eyes catch the screen again, you shuffle more towards Peter, then stop yourself. “Is it weird if we cuddle?” Peter rips the popcorn bowl between you away, he’s never cuddled with a girl before but he’d be an idiot to say no. 
“Weird for who? Weird for me? Weird for us?” Peter doesn’t care about the answer. “Those are rhetorical, just come cuddle me.” It’s all you needed, you press up against him and wait, he’s not moving. Fine with you, you halfway lay on him, head on his chest. You’ve never been this close to him, you’ve kissed him and you’ve made a bold move that backfired, but you’ve never been this soft or domesticated with him. 
Peter’s heart is drumming a little fast, you make no comment. Yours is beating at the same rate. 
You expected Peter to still like you but you haven’t asked. After what happened maybe he decided you’d be better friends. It wasn’t talked out, you both skimmed over what happened and started hanging out like nothing happened. 
But it did and you’re glad. It puts things in perspective. It made you realize how much you like him. You just need to know if it made him feel the opposite. 
“Do you still like me?” 
“I’m sorry, I’ve never cuddled with anyone before so I don’t really know what-” 
“No, I mean do you still like me?” Peter knows what you mean. He doesn’t know how you think he doesn’t. “Of course I do.” You peek up at him, he’s already got eyes on you, it makes your cheeks feel warm. 
“Even after I was shitty to you?” Peter laughs, a hard laugh, you move with his jostles. “Honey, you’ve been giving me shit for nine years, it hasn’t slowed me down one bit.” 
Honey. It has a nice ring to it, you like it. But the one you’ve always liked hasn’t ever been uttered with endearment and you really want it, you want it to come from Peter’s voice and have it wrap around your ears while your heart bubbles up with giddiness. 
“Can you call me sweetheart?” 
“Is that the one you like?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Sure thing, sweetheart.” 
It’s so much sweeter than you imagined. 
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You’re not sure what details May knows, but she knows you hurt her nephew. She hasn’t said anything but you can feel her watching your back every time you’re with Peter. Her tone isn’t clipped and she’s just as welcoming as before, but you can feel it. You can sense that she isn’t fully trusting. 
May had stared at you for a good thirty seconds when she caught you spread across Peter’s lap while he studied. You tried to focus on his rubix cube in your hand, even going as far to prove you’re not a threat by giving him a light kiss on his cheek. She didn’t seem convinced, but she left it alone. 
Two days ago she burst into Peter’s room and made it very clear that when you were over the door stays open. Peter tried to fight it, he said that you were just hanging out but she was dead serious, going as far as saying that if he couldn’t handle her rules, he wasn’t allowed to have company. 
Peter didn’t tell you that you were the only person with this rule, but you knew you were. 
“I just don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of this, May. She’s just-” You weren’t going to be involved, you weren’t going to give May more ammo. 
“Door stays open, Peter. If May says it, we follow it.” Peter doesn’t agree with you, you can tell by the way he nods his head and clicks his pen. When did you start being able to read him? And why do you like it so much? 
But the real hint was when you weren’t welcome to stay for dinner the previous night. There’s never been a time May denied you food, most of the times she’d come over begging you to join so they wouldn’t have so many leftovers. But last night she just suggested you go home and prepare for the next day. 
You watched Peter’s jaw clench in frustration, then you sweetened him up with a smile and told him you were planning on leaving anyway. You don’t think he bought it. You needed to talk to May, you needed to know she was okay with you and Peter, if she wasn’t- no matter how hard it would hurt, you’d stay away from Peter. 
May is all he has and you’re not going to put any strain on their relationship. Not over you. 
Peter was staying late at school for math club and it’s your perfect opportunity. A light knock, May answers almost instantly. She’s surprised but she melts into a smile, it’s lacking something. “Oh! Peter isn’t here.” 
“I know. I wanted to talk to you.” Now you’ve got her interest. May opens the door wide, you go straight to the kitchen for the batch of cookies Peter made you last night. You can taste the love in them. 
“May, I need you to level with me here. Do you have a problem with me dating Peter?” There’s a beat of silence, “are you dating him?” You swallow a bite, “not yet. I needed to make sure it was okay with you.” 
“You’re asking for my blessing?” You slightly nod. “More or less. You’ve been really nice but I feel like there’s a little tension. I feel like you don’t totally trust me with him.” Confirmation, but it doesn’t hurt like you think. 
“Peter’s a sensitive boy. He does everything a hundred and ten percent. If you want him, he’ll give you more than his all. Can you say the same?” Can you? Yes. It’s without a doubt. You want him and only him and you’d lay your life on the line. There’s been so much wasted time, Peter could’ve been your first but you were too stubborn. 
Peter wasn’t your first, but with everything in you he’s going to be your last. 
“Yes. I’m in love with him. I love him more than I ever loved anyone, I love him more than I thought was possible. I want to be there for him, I want to support him through the bad days and I want to be by his side for the good ones. I want him and only him, I was just too dumb to see it before.” 
May’s mouth etches into a smile, this time it reaches her eyes and she’s hugging you. A whisper in your ear, “I always knew this is how it would end.” You grin into her shoulder, “really?” 
“Peter’s nothing but determined. It was only a matter of time.” You know what that means. “Are you giving me your blessing?” She laughs and pulls you closer, “you always had it. I just needed to know you were serious.” 
Time passes quickly, you’re three cookies down and you’re itching for a fourth. You swear he puts crack in them. You talk animatedly with May, you’re fawning over her own love story and hoping that that would be your future with Peter. When the door unlocks you perk up, you can’t bite back your smile or tapping feet. 
“Whatcha doing here? Hi May.” Your arms spread wide, Peter fills them. “I came to talk to May, I stayed to see your handsome face.” How did you once see it as annoying? How did you once find his smile revolting? He’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. You want to kiss him more than anything, May gave you the green light, you press up on your toes to give him a peck. 
“I missed you. How was math club? Were you the smartest hunk there? Don’t answer, I already know it’s a yes.” Peter’s still reeling from the kiss but he powers through. “I wouldn’t be too confident about that, sweetheart.” Your heart clenches, him saying it makes your knees feel weak. “Mathew Ryan is in the club with me.” 
“I hate blondes. I only like cuties with brown, curly hair by the name of Peter Parker.” His eyes squint at you, it makes you feel warm, you hide back in his chest. May’s watching with heart eyes, she’s never seen you so happy. “You’re laying it on thick today. You must need something.” 
“Just you, handsome.” Okay, you might be laying it on a little thick, but you can’t hold it in. You just love him too much, it’s uncontainable. He’s perfect. “May, she’s up to something. I don’t trust it.” His aunt keeps grinning. “I do.” 
Peter pats your back, “if you trust it, I guess I have to, too.” You squeeze him tight and mumble into his chest, he still hears you. “What, now?” You asked if you could talk to him, it had him looking down and giving you his full attention. 
“What’s up?” Your eyes shoot to his door, message received. Peter leaves a small gap in the door, you pause and poke your head out to his aunt. “Can I shut the door?” A three second count, “permission granted.” It clicks shut, you spin, you have all his attention. 
“You said I was never properly loved.” 
Peter feels his heart drop, it was the nastiest thing he could ever say to you. Part of him wished you had forgotten but that’s not something that’s forgettable, that’s something that sticks with you forever. He never meant to say it, it was something he spewed out to make you feel just as bad but that’s not who he is and that’s not what he does and he really should’ve apologized way before now. 
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it. It was a shitty thing to say and I-” 
“You weren’t wrong. I haven’t been properly loved. But I’d like for you to show me how it feels.” 
Your pulse rises with his silence, Peter holds out a steady hand. “Just to be clear, you’re asking me-” 
“If you’d be my boyfriend.” 
You let out a soft groan, you’re spinning in his hold and pushing at his arms. “Peter!” He doesn’t care, your feet lightly dangle, you’re laughing with him. “Nuh uh, you’re not allowed to push me away anymore, I’m your boyfriend.” 
Boyfriend. Peter Parker is your boyfriend. What a rush of feelings, there’s a new one you haven’t felt before. Pride. You’re prideful that Peter’s your boyfriend, you’ve got the greatest person in the world tethered to your hip and he’s going absolutely nowhere. Ever. 
“I’ve been waiting for this day since I was fifteen.” A flurry of kisses over your face, “holy wow, you’re my girlfriend. I can kiss you whenever I want, and I can touch you! Oh, and now I always have someone to eat pizza with. And the science museum! No one ever wants to go to the science museum with me!” 
“Holy wow?” You giggle at a string of kisses to your jawline, you never knew someone would be so excited at the thought of dating you. “Wow, wow, wowie, my girlfriend’s a hottie.” You push him away with a disgusted sound, “that’s so gross, Peter.” 
“Oops, let me repent with a kiss.” 
It’s the fireworks again. This time they’re blinding. Your back burns with his touch, you want to swallow him whole. It’s not lacking passion, but it’s soft. You reach for his shirt collar when he pulls away, this time he laughs. 
“I was going to ask if I was a bad kisser but-” 
“No.” This time you’re keeping him chained to you with your hands behind his neck. “Best kisser ever,” you give him a chaste one to prove it. “My handsome baby.” Your waist is squeezed, “you’re too nice.” He doesn’t understand, he’ll never be able to understand. 
“I wasted so much time, Peter. You were right there and I was so… so stupid that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I have no idea why you like me, I was so mean and cruel and I never appreciated you.” 
Peter has secrets too. “I was friendly, but I didn’t like you. You were super aggressive and made a point to say something mean… but then Ben died.” The oxygen runs from your lungs, it wasn’t something you thought about, you thought he didn’t either. 
It was brutal watching him and May go through that. You remember that night vividly, the night May got the call. You could hear her screams from your room, it’s something you’ll never forget. Her wails, the way she begged to God that it was all a dream. You knew what happened before you could see them and the one thing you thought of in that moment was Peter. 
You can still remember the panic you felt, the overwhelming urge to make sure he was okay. You remember your feet skidding across the carpet, the cold hardwood in the hall, the way your middle knuckle split you were knocking so hard. 
‘Peter,’ it’s all you had to say. Then you were scooping him into your arms, holding him tight as he sobbed. You kept telling him you were sorry, you brushed his hair back and rubbed circles on his back. You kept him tucked into your neck while he cried, you didn’t tell him it was okay, nothing about that night was okay. You remember holding in your own tears, you swallowed them down and held Peter all night. 
Fourteen hours. You had him curled up with you while you kept telling him sorry, you had stayed up all night with him and took care of him. You got him water, you made him eat a snack, you did what you could while they slept. You did laundry, you did the dishes, you made cookies. 
Peter’s uncle died and you made him cookies. 
Your boyfriend dumped you and Peter made you cookies. 
You basically lived there for a week, you slept with Peter, held him with each bout of sadness, and never ever told him it was okay. You held his hand at the funeral and kissed him on the back of it before he gave his eulogy. You made sure he was minimally functioning, you tried to keep him busy with dumb tasks. 
After two weeks he didn’t need you anymore and you slowly faded away until it settled into how it used to be. You think Peter liked it a little, not everything had to change because Ben died. But you never went out of your way to hurt him anymore, he didn’t need your help in that department. What used to be petty attacks turned into silence and gentle name calling. 
But you were there for him when he needed it. Just how he was with you. 
“You pulled an Uncle Ben on me.” 
A twitch in his lips, “you were there for me when my world ended, I had to return the favor.” It’s not fair for him to compare the two. “I was broken up with, I didn’t have my-” 
“Devastation comes in all forms. It’s not about whos is worse, it’s about being there for someone you care about.” He doesn’t hide his smile, “even if they claim to hate you for all eternity.” 
“I don’t hate you anymore.” 
“Spoiler alert, you never did.” 
You’ve been caught. Peter knew the whole time, he was just waiting on you. “Are you sure you don’t hate me? Cause I’ve been really terrible to you the last month.” Your boyfriend rolls his eyes before giving you a big hug. 
“That’s because you’re stubborn and didn’t want to admit you liked me.” You poke his ribs, “you knew?” 
“Sweetheart, I knew the day you said I had very pretty eyes.” 
“Yeah, you do. Let me see them again, boyfriend.” 
The last six weeks you detested love and what it brings. The disaster, the heartbreak, the pain. You never thought you’d love again and definitely not with the neighbor you hated. But right there, in his room, you felt your heart crack open and ooze onto his bedroom floor. 
And you watched love begin again. 
“Anything for you, girlfriend.” 
----
TAGLIST: (some @'s wouldn't show up :(
@hollandweather @imwaytoolazyforthis @sincericida @darling-im-wonderstruck @abucketofweird @conniesanchor @ellieistired @melodicheauxxlovesfood @nyomjoon @buckybarnessweetheart @luqueam @hyacinthhare @prettiest-lover @jakobsdump @vanessa-b @toomanydamfandoms @jamespottersdaisy @sassyrizznerd @arctic0tter @thievin-stealing @cool-ontherun-world @gwengonesplat @sunflowerkiwis @iamawhoreforu @cottonheadedninny-muggins @toezies @1-800-peggy @lnmp89 @ribbonknives @sinceweremutual @luerdelune @pining-and-tired @gorefairies @str4wberry222 @hoetel-manager @rexorangecounty @ellswilliams @peterparkerswhvre @kdbsr-h @astrxq @eatshitanddie- @somethings-going-on-here @m0g444 @oncasette @rainyyouthcoffee @azkzaban @know-its-for-the-better @hellfirescoops
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celestialprincesse · 4 months
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🍒🤍
Simon and his civilian, girly, pink, hyperfem gf thots
He sees her sat at the bar of the 141s local, which admittedly is seedy and kind of gross. Not the place he's want his hypothetical sister, daughter or niece to be hanging out alone.
Based on that, he can only assume that she's waiting for someone, maybe a date considering how dolled up she is in her pretty blush pink dress, the satin ribbon holding the top parts of her hair out of her face.
When she blinks over at him with alluring doll eyes, the date idea goes out the window, and the guys are all egging him on to go buy her a drink, seeing as he almost never tries it on with girls.
When her straw reaches the bare bottom of her glass, he swallows his pride and makes his way over, his burly, black clad body so at odds with her own, practically doll like next to his.
The guys never expect them to go any further, but when he (weirdly) invites them for dinner at his flat and she's pottering happily around the kitchen cooking up a storm, Kyle has to smack Johnny upside the head before he can burst out laughing.
She's so utterly lovely to them all, taking them in like the stray cats she also frequently finds herself bringing back to she and Simons place 'just to take to the shelter'. They currently have four scrawny kittens who totter around her feet wherever she goes like her own little feline entourage.
Simon explains that she's some kind of ridiculously smart child psychotherapist or something along those lines, hence why she's so welcoming, bubbly and generally wonderful.
He knew he was whipped when she got him a really fancy pocket knife for Christmas, kitted out with all the things one could ever need. He didn't ask where she got it or how much she had to cough up for a knife of that quality. He just handed her a stack of presents bigger than her head, piled full of pretty floral lingerie, makeup and a teeny box on top containing a twinkly 'SR' pendant and a little diamond charm.
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wosoamazing · 1 month
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Rescue
Barça Femeni x Teen!Reader (Mainly Alexia)
Based off of this request. (And also vaguely off of Lauren Daigle's song - more so just the title, but it kind of under lays the fic I guess.)
WARNINGS: Attempted Sexual Assault References (flack backs), Abusive Father (physical and emotional), drinking/drunk, slight mentions of implied sick (doesn't happen). Let me know if anything else
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The team were always suspicious about your home life and what it was actually like but you always brushed them off when they questioned and no one had tried to push further until recently.
“Y/N, we missed you last night, what happened?” Lucy asked you as she walked in, most of the team following behind her.
“Oh, sorry I was going to message but I must’ve forgotten, I felt a little sick so I thought it was best to stay home,” you told them, causing Alexia to move towards you with her hand out, which you dodge, “but I’m fine now,” you smiled at your captain and she gave you a fake smile back.
That was far from the truth but you didn’t want to tell them what happened. You were in your room making some finishing touches before you left to go out with them, when one of your Dad’s friends had walked into your room, you thought you had locked your door but you must’ve forgotten. He walked up behind you and his body was pressed against yours before he slinked his hand up under your dress and brushed his hand over your upper thigh. You snapped around and punched him before you ran, you could hear him yelling at you afterwards, and you Dad yelling at him, but all you could do was run, and to the safe place you knew no one would come looking for you. Thanking the heavens above that Jona somehow gave you a pass that meant you could go to the training grounds at all times. You quickly got changed into your training kit and took off your makeup before setting an alarm on your phone and falling asleep on one of the couches.
That day during treatment you flinched every time one of the physios touched you, and when he moved his hand up to your thigh you felt your body tense up and your breath becoming laboured, when he applied pressure to start working you bolted straight out of the room, the touch bringing back all the feelings from the night before. You found yourself in a room, full of your teammates, who all worried over but when you finally calmed back down they all left except for one, your captain. Who gave you a pointed look as you made contact with her eyes.
“I’m fine” you reiterated to her for probably the 100th time that hour.
“You know you can talk to us anytime, about anything,” Alexia reassured you.
“Si, I do, but I don’t need to because I’m fine,” she gave you a very unconvincing nod before walking out, leaving you to be by yourself. The team knew you weren’t fine. You constantly showed up to training with bruises that were slightly too dark or too big to be caused by whatever your excuse had been that time, but you were clumsy so they never really questioned it. However Alexia had kept a mental note of when they happened and what your excuses were and she couldn't help but see that there was a pattern. Then there was the incident last week when you were calling some of them and your Dad started yelling at you, and calling you names. You tried to convince them that it was because he had tripped over because you had left your boots and bag and other stuff all over the floor which caused him to stub his toe, however they all felt that it was a very poor excuse to yell at your child in such a way but you just brushed them off.
One week later you found yourself laying on a yoga mat in the gym, you were flat on your back as you stared straight up at the ceiling. Alexia had come over and placed a mat down next to yours, she didn't say anything but just laid there next to you on her back, as the team filtered out to go to the pitch for training neither of you made an effort to move. 
Several different thoughts ran through your head as you laid there next to her for quite some time. You were having an internal battle in your head of whether you opened up to her or not, maybe she would help, maybe this wasn’t normal. But maybe she would tell you it was your fault, you had a short dress on that night, that was slightly slutty, were you asking for it? Had you deserved all of it, all the yelling, the hitting.
“He-he, tried to touch me,” you blurted out, one side of the fight winning, your words caused her to bolt straight up, sitting crossed legged on her mat facing you.
“Who did? Your Dad?” she asked.
“No one of his friends,” you said, shaking your head.
“Did he?” she asked, concerned. “No, not really, I mean he put his hand up my dress, he was leaning forward into me and he touched my thigh, but I quickly moved away from him and punched him and ran, while I was running he was saying something about reporting me for hitting him, but I don’t think he did because I could hear Dad saying something about them finding out if he did because the police would show up to the house,” you said as tears started to flow out of your eyes.
“Find what out?” Alexia asked, confused, wondering what had been happening.
“That he abuses me, they would see the holes in the walls from where he would try and punch me but miss, the shattered mirror that I glued back together, it smashed because he threw it at me, but they wouldn’t see the emotional things, they would only see the physical things. The name calling, the swearing, they couldn’t see that, it would be his word against mine,” you continued as your shoulders started to shake as your cries turned into harsh heavy sobs, “I’m sorry,” you cried out as you rolled over onto your stomach, head resting in your arms as a puddle formed on the underneath you.
“Oh Nena,” Alexia sighed as she went to place a hand on your back, “please don’t touch me,” you asked and she obeyed, quickly retracting her arm, “b-but, please, s-stay” you hesitantly asked her. You felt broken, like there was something wrong with you, how didn’t you notice it wasn’t normal. You thought you had a broken home but at the same time, you never spoke about it so maybe everyone had a broken home and just didn’t talk about it, but since being at Barça you slowly started to realise that what was happening in your home wasn’t normal and wasn’t okay, but it was normal to you, to you being called an idiot, or a stupid bitch was normal, being told you were too lazy or not good enough was normal, being scared to take a step in your own home was normal. Constantly living on the edge and not feeling comfortable in your own home was normal. It was normal in your extended family as well, you came from a long line of toxic men, there was no one to show you that what you were experiencing was abnormal, until now. Men drinking until they passed out was normal. Men controlling the house was normal. Women only dated Men, even in a different universe you would never see a Woman dating a Woman in your family. But somehow Barça had shown you this wasn’t normal.
Alexia’s heart ached as she watched sobs rack your body, she just wanted to hold you tight and tell you it would all be okay, but she couldn't. She had to respect your boundaries and give you some control back.
But you soon found yourself sitting in her lap, your body having gravitated to the warmth and safety she seemed to provide. Your hands clutched to her shirt.
“Nena, can I hug you?” She asked not wanting to do anything against your will, you nodded into her chest and she wrapped her arms around you. You suddenly felt safe, cared for, loved, it suddenly all came crashing down, this team loved you, you had never really experienced that before, and you broke down even more. You were now gasping for air as your body shook, Alexia’s concern for you was rapidly growing.
“Nena, I need you to breath, you’re going to make yourself sick,” She told you, “I-I can’t” you told her as you struggled to suck in air, “Yes, you can Nena, just in and out, focus on my chest moving up and now,” you managed to slightly calm down, but it was barely, your were still shaking and your sobs still racked your body, but you were no longer gasping for air. Alexia put her headphones over your ears and made sure to turn on the noise cancelling feature, she needed to call someone for help but didn’t want you to have to listen in, you didn’t mind, you kind of liked the quietness they provided you. She called Mapi.
Mapi, I need you and Ingrid to take me and Nena home now.
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barcaatthemoon · 26 days
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sniffles || barcelona x teen!reader ||
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you try to hide your sickness from the team.
you weren't really sure what was wrong with you, but you felt awful. it was the kind of sick that would have gotten you off from school whenever you'd been living with your parents. things were a bit different in barcelona with alexia, but you knew that she'd make you miss practice if she found out. sometimes, you wanted nothing more than a break from everything, but there was a big game coming up and you wanted in the starting squad.
that was why you had woken up extra early to make sure that you looked healthy. alexia was none the wiser, even if she had given you weird looks for wearing makeup. luckily, she didn't quiestion it much since a few of the girls had been teasing you for your very obvious crush on another one of the younger players.
"don't take too long getting ready," alexia warned as she let you stop into the locker room. unlike her, you hadn't just worn a training kit in. but you also didn't like to literally start things off by running some laps. you thought alexia was crazy for warming up for her warm ups, but you suspected that was what she needed to stay in such good shape after her injury.
"oi, little chick, are you feeling alright?" ona asked as she stepped up beside you. the team liked to tease you for being wound up for certain things, and your posture was one of them. you were a stickler for perfect posture, unless you weren't feeling well.
"just a bit tired, ale woke up me up earlier than normal." it wasn't a complete lie. you reminded yourself to stay sitting and standing straight for the rest of practice. occasionally one of the other girls would come up and ask if you were alright, noticing that you did seem a little off. luckily, you could pass it off as being tired, but as the day dragged on, it was getting more and more difficult.
your cover had nearly been blown in the gym during the day's lifting session. since you were trying to build up a bit more muscle mass, you trained with the keepers. you had counted on sandra being protective in the motherly way that she always was, but you hadn't expected cata to be keeping such a close eye on you.
"drop the weight down and step away," cata ordered. she had been spotting you on the squat rack. you were still in the lighter part of things and definitely shouldn't have been making the wheezing sounds that you were. "you know the rules. are you trying to hurt yourself?"
"what's going on?" if it was just sandra or alexia, you could have gotten away with claiming that cata was just being mean to you, but when irene joined the group, you feared the jig was up.
"there's something wrong with (y/n), she's wheezing!" cata exclaimed. alexia reached out to feel your forehead, but you ducked out of the way. unfortunately, sandra was able to grab you and irene placed the back of her hand on your forehead.
"she's warm, but she was also going really hard today at practice," irene said. she glanced over at alexia to help decide what they should do with you.
"she's sick, probably with whatever bruna had last week," cata said. you sent her a nasty glare, but the older girl was unphased by it.
"how do you feel?" sandra asked as she turned towards you.
"i feel fine, maybe a little tired, but alexia woke me up this morning. i'd like to finish my workout please," you said sweetly. cata scoffed as sandra let you go. sandra, irene, and alexia all kissed the top of your head as they apologized for interrupting you. cata was obviously mad at you, so you walked over to finish your workout with lucy and the other defenders.
at irene's insistence, you kept things lighter. you didn't notice cata telling alexia to keep an eye on you, so you had no idea that alexia was watching your every move after your shower. she cursed herself as the two of you got home when you let the facade slip a bit. it was obvious with your makeup washed off that you were not well. she should have listened to cata the first time and made you go sit down.
"what game are we watching tonight?" you asked from where you had already curled up on the couch. alexia sighed as she glanced down at you. it was usually a hassle to get you to watch games, and as much as alexia wanted the win, she also wanted to instill good habits in you as well. there would come a day when you'd go somewhere that she couldn't keep an eye on you, and it terrified her a little bit.
"we can start watching a game later, i wanted to talk to you first. how have you been feeling today?" alexia asked you. she made sure to use her gentle voice, knowing that you didn't do well wtih being lectured otherwise.
"well, i've been a bit tired, but otherwise okay. did cata really get it in your head that i'm like, sick or something?" you tried to make it as believable as possible that you were feeling fine. one pointed look at alexia had you mumbling out the truth with tears in your eyes.
alexia sighed as she pulled you into a hug and reassured you, "you're not in trouble this time, but don't do it again." you nodded with your head against her chest. you did start crying, and soon the tears turned into a pretty nasty coughing fit. alexia was quick to get up and get you a glass of water and some medicine. she took your temperature and texted jona whenever it came back way too high.
"i don't want to miss the game," you whined. alexia didn't seem to care as she tucked you into the couch. "i've worked so hard to get to play. please, ale, i want to play."
"if you feel better by the end of the week, we'll see about you subbing on. that just means you need to rest up until then," alexia told you. you'd do anything that she told you to if it meant that you'd get to play in the game. alexia seemed to know that because she had you spending the week watching all of the game film and taking notes that you could manage. whenever she had to be away, she left you in the care of olga, who definitely slipped you more sweets than alexia would ever allow and watched tiktoks with you on the couch for hours at a time.
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rubycruzin4abruzin · 2 months
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we can’t be friends
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Summary: Hazel, who has a giant crush on you, gets paired with you for a class project. She’s convinced you could never like her back because she thinks you’re straight, what happens when she’s proven wrong?
Pairing: Hazel Callahan x Fem!reader
Contains: mature language and content, hurt/comfort, smut, fingering (both receiving), oral, scissoring kinda, floor sex, loser!hazel, dom!hazel, fem!reader, sub!reader, 18+, MDNI
Word Count: 4.4k
A/N: (loosely) based off the song We Can’t Be Friends by Ariana Grande, and requested by anonymous. Requests are still open for Hazel Callahan and Kit Tanthalos! Enjoy!
———
Hazel stared at you from across the classroom, a deep longing in her eyes. Mr. G was rambling something about 9/11 and how it somehow pertained to his divorce but she wasn’t absorbing a word of his lecture. All her attention was focused on you.
PJ noticed Hazel’s obvious sense of distraction and rolled her eyes. “It’s never gonna happen, Hazel.”
Hazel’s face fell slightly as she looked down at her lap. “You don’t know that…” she mumbled.
“I do, actually. My gaydar is perfect, and she…” PJ motioned her head towards you. “…is not.”
Hazel's head shot straight up to look at PJ. “Weren’t you the one who thought Brittany was gay?”
PJ scoffed. “Ok? So my gaydar had a malfunction. It’s fine now, and trust me. You do not occupy that pretty little head of hers.” She shot a pointed look at Hazel. “She doesn’t want you. She wants a boyfriend. With a penis.”
A sad puppy dog look covered Hazel’s face as she turned back to look at you. You certainly did have a pretty little head, with long silky hair falling over your shoulders, perfectly framing your face. Maybe it was because Hazel had little to no experience with makeup, but she always thought yours was flawless, with your eyeshadow consistently color coordinated with your outfits. Today it was hot pink to match your miniskirt and pink pumps, paired with fishnets and a black tank top with writing on it that Hazel couldn’t quite make out.
You took a break from taking notes to reach into your backpack and find your lipgloss, carefully reapplying a layer. A dopey smile formed on Hazel’s face as she watched the sparkly pink solution trace your lips, wondering how it would taste against her own. PJ rolled her eyes once again. “Get over it, Hazel.”
Before Hazel could even open her mouth to respond, the sound of Mr. G’s voice echoed across the room, turning everyone’s attention to the front. He was going on about some new partner project, Hazel could barely focus. She soon, however, perked up when he mentioned your name.
“You’re partnered with Hazel.” He finished.
Hazel’s heart leapt into her throat. She turned to look at you, and you met her gaze with a bright smile. She offered an awkward nod back, and quickly looked away.
Mr. G soon finished with the list of partners and the bell rang to signify the end of class. PJ walked out with Josie, who could be heard panicking over being partnered with Isabel. Hazel was packing up her stuff for her next class when she saw a figure out of the corner of her eye. She looked up to see you standing over her desk, a glossy grin spread across your face. “Hey Hazel.”
Hazel tried to swallow, but found her mouth was completely dry. She managed to squeak out a low “…hey.”
“Looks like we’re partners for this assignment. I wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to work on it after school? Today?” You brushed a lock of hair out of your face, making Hazel wish she could do it for you.
She licked her dry lips and nodded enthusiastically. “Sure.”
You pressed your phone into Hazel’s shaking hands and you both exchanged numbers before “bye’s” and “see you later’s.” Throughout the rest of the day, it was agreed over text that you would meet at your locker after school before heading to Hazel’s house to work on the project. You had originally suggested your place, but after Hazel mentioned her mom being out of town on business, you were all for meeting at her’s instead.
When the last bell rang, Hazel ran to the bathroom and spent fifteen minutes fussing over her hair, trying to get it to swoop just the right way. Unfortunately, PJ’s voice saying “she’s not gay, it’s never gonna happen” rang through her head. After deciding it just wasn’t worth it then, she gave up and dejectedly made her way over to your locker.
You were already there waiting for her, and seeing you lean against your locker in the empty hallway made Hazel’s heart flutter. You looked just as perfect as you had earlier today (except Hazel could’ve sworn you had pulled your black tank top just a little farther down). You noticed her approaching you, and flashed her a bright smile.
“Hey Hazel, ready to go?” You asked. Hazel nodded. “Sure.”
“Great! I’m excited to be paired with you. I’m sure after this project we’ll become great friends.” You lifted your hand to squeeze Hazel’s upper arm, but she couldn’t feel it over the pang in her chest. Your words swam around in her mind.
“Great friends…” she didn’t want to be your friend. She wanted to be more. She wanted to be the one to laugh with you, and hold you when you cried. She wanted to take you out on dates, and slow dance with you at prom. She wanted you to look up at her with your big doe eyes right before you kiss her, and wrap your arms around her shoulders to pull her closer while she savored the taste of your signature lip gloss. She wanted to touch you. God how she wanted to touch you…
But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do any of that. Not if you were too busy making goo-goo eyes at some football player.
You wanted to be friends. Hazel wanted you… but more than anything she wanted you in her life. If being friends was the only way to do that, then so be it.
—————
The drive to Hazel’s house was pretty much silent, minus a few attempts at small talk from you. Hazel made a few attempts to respond, but mainly kept her focus on the grip of her steering wheel and the road ahead.
Hazel turned into her driveway, and walked you through her front door, up the stairs, and into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She motioned for you to sit next to her on the floor, and got out her pencils and the project rubric. After about five minutes of complete silence, Hazel’s head shot up. “Snacks!”
You looked up from the rubric in confusion. “What?”
“Snacks! I forgot to offer you snacks when we came in. Shit, I’m sorry! I’m a terrible host.” Hazel panicked. You had to stifle a giggle under your hand. Somehow, Hazel was being so adorable right now.
“It’s ok, Hazel. I’m not hungry. I promise.” Hazel rubbed the back of her neck as a faint shade of red crept up on her cheeks.
“Sorry. You just…” Hazel trailed off. You cocked your head in question. “I… what?”
“You just… sometimes you make me nervous…” Hazel mumbled, staring down at her lap.
Your lips parted slightly in shock at her confession. “I make you nervous?”
“Look… just forget I said anything.” Hazel picked the project rubric back up. “So, do you have any idea what this project is supposed to be on? I wasn’t really paying attention…”
You pulled the rubric out of Hazel’s hands and tossed it to the side, forcing her to look at you. “I’m not gonna forget what you said. Hazel, how do I make you nervous?”
A defeated sigh left Hazel’s lips as she realized you weren’t going to give this up. She squeezed her eyes shut, choking out your name before her next words. “I’m sorry but… we can’t be friends.”
It took a moment for you to process Hazel’s words, but as soon as you did, your face crumpled out of hurt. You were trying not to cry, but you couldn’t decide if it was from hurt or confusion. “What do you mean?”
“We can’t be friends.” Hazel repeated, refusing to make eye contact with you. “Whenever I’m around you, my hands get all sweaty and my mouth gets dry, and I can barely get any words out because… I don’t know. You do this thing to me. I can’t focus in class because all I can think about is how pretty you are and what flavor your lip gloss is and…”
Hazel’s incessant rambling was interrupted by the feeling of something wet and sticky against her cheek. She blinked, trying to process what just happened.
You kissed her. On the cheek.
A faint blush crept onto her face as she lifted her hand to feel where your kiss still lingered. She finally met your gaze to see you staring back at her, a giddy smile covering your face.
“You kissed me.”
You brushed another lock out of your face and smiled down at your lap. “Yeah. I did.”
“But I’m not a boy.”
You shot your head up and gaped at her, bewildered. Did you hear her correctly?
“Huh? I know…” you trailed off as realization set into you. “You think I’m straight?”
“Well, yeah. You’re all like… feminine and stuff…” Hazel mumbled, clearly embarrassed.
A thick silence filled the room as you stared at her, wide eyed. Hazel held her breath and refused to look at you. She thought for sure she fucked up before she heard… laughter?
Hazel looked up to see you in absolute stitches from laughing so hard. On one hand, she was glad you didn’t seem mad at her, but on the other… she really had no idea what you were laughing at.
After a moment, you calmed down, and stuck out one of your wrists to show Hazel a pink, white, and orange threaded bracelet. “Trust me, I’m not straight. And this…” you gestured to your outfit. “…is called hyperfem, and it’s actually meant to deter the male population.”
Several thoughts swirled around Hazel’s mind. Some “fuck PJ” or “how did I not notice the bracelet?” But mostly, all she could think about was how you were sitting in front of her, out and proud, in an empty house, and beaming from ear to ear.
You giggled at Hazel’s astonished expression and looked down at your lap. “I was kind of wondering why you had never talked to me before. Guess I know now.”
Hazel gulped. “I’m sorry, I…”
Suddenly, you decided to cut her off by tossing all the papers between you to the side, and crawling over to her lap. You put one hand on her knee and brought your face as close to hers as you could without touching. Hazel’s breath hitched at this new position, and you hummed as your eyes dropped to her lips. “Now that you know I’m gay… what do you plan to do about it?”
It took a moment for your words to settle into Hazel’s mind, but as soon as they did, she brought her face forward and kissed you, melting instantly at your touch. Her stomach filled with butterflies as she shivered from the pure adrenaline. She couldn’t believe how soft your lips were, and the taste of your lipgloss felt absolutely intoxicating.
You pulled away suddenly, smirking as Hazel whined at the loss of your touch. “So… what flavor is my lip gloss?”
Hazel hummed in thought, running the tip of her tongue across her bottom lip. “Watermelon?”
“Bingo.”
A devilish grin spread across Hazel’s face before she grabbed your jaw and pulled you back in, forcing you to tuck your knee into her lap to keep balance. Her tongue danced against your bottom lip, begging for entrance. A small giggle escaped from the back of your throat as you parted your lips and let her deepen the kiss.
Hazel’s hand left your jaw and slowly made its way down to gently caress the thigh you still had perched in her lap. You felt your body shiver at this new sensation, causing Hazel to pull away and survey your reaction.
“Is this ok?” She asked in a low voice. You nodded, your half-lidded eyes clouded with lust. “Please.”
Hazel caught your lips in hers again, and gripped at your fishnet-clad thigh. You moaned at the feeling of her fingertips caressing your nearly-bare skin. You had no idea your thighs could be so sensitive, but here you were, falling apart at her literal fingertips.
By now you were mentally begging Hazel to push her hand up just a little higher, so you grabbed the chain around her neck and pulled her close until you were on your back and she was hovering over you. Her big blue eyes looked like pools you were dying to swim in as she peered down at you with a look of nothing but content.
You dragged your top teeth against your bottom lip and giggled. “Tell me again how pretty I am?”
Hazel smirked as she continued to rub her thumb along the inside of your thigh. “So pretty. Like a princess.”
Your body involuntarily shivered at this new nickname, and Hazel found it impossible not to notice. “Oh, you like that? Princess?”
A muffled moan vibrated against your puffy pink lips in response. Fuck, when did Hazel get so… dominant?
She ran her hand just under the edge of your tank top, looking up at you for approval. You nodded, and she got to work pulling it up and over your head, leaving your stomach exposed and your chest covered with nothing but a black lace bralette. Hazel gulped at the sight of you, her spontaneous dominance momentarily leaving her. She swore she had never seen anything this beautiful. She leaned down again to kiss you once, softly and sweetly, before slowly leaving a trail of kisses to your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, and down to the top of your breasts.
Hazel’s big blue eyes stared up at you as she ran her tongue across the top of one of your tits, gently testing the waters. You let out a gentle moan, purely from the eroticism of it all. You swore you could cum just from looking into Hazel’s fuck me eyes.
“Hazel,” you breathed out, sitting up slightly to lean on your elbows. “You can take it off.”
A nervous look clouded Hazel’s features for a brief moment before being replaced by one dark with desire. “Whatever you want, Princess.”
God, you could feel yourself get wetter every time she used that stupid nickname.
Getting your bra off wasn’t necessarily a fast and flawless task for Hazel, as she was used to the simplicity of sports bras rather than the confusing clasps of a bralette. Luckily, you both had a good sense of humor about it, which made the situation far less awkward. Eventually, Hazel opted to just pull it over your head like a t-shirt, tossing it over her shoulder immediately after.
Hazel never thought she’d see the day where she’d have the Popular Princess of Rockbridge High’s tits practically served to her on a silver platter, but here they were, exposed in all their glory, and hers for the taking. She took one of your nipples in her mouth, running her tongue along the erect bud as she used her hand to gently massage the other. It felt incredible, but as much as you loved watching Hazel Callahan play with your tits, there was another part of you that was much more desperate to be played with.
Your hips involuntarily bucked against Hazel’s stomach, forcing her to pull away and click her tongue disapprovingly. “So impatient. Never took you for a sub.”
“Never took you for a dom.” You fired back, surprisingly quickly considering how mushy your brain felt.
Hazel simply shrugged and flashed a wicked grin. “Guess you do something to me.”
She slipped one hand down to the waistband of your skirt and started to undo your belt buckle until it was loose enough for her to slide it down your legs. Her fingers danced along your now completely exposed fishnets while she plucked at the delicate little strings.
“Funny,” she started, gently pulling at the thin threads. “If you weren’t wearing anything under these, I would totally keep them on while I fucked you.”
Her blunt choice of words sent palpitations straight to your clit, forcing a shiver down the length of your entire body. She either didn’t notice or pretended not to because she just shrugged. “Too bad you are. Gotta take them off.”
In a way, you were grateful for the black panties you had worn under your fishnets. Watching Hazel undress you to any capacity was a bigger turn on than anything any porn site had to offer. You made a mental note to wear more clothes next time.
By now you were down to nothing but the aforementioned silky black panties. Hazel moved her hand back to your thigh, rubbing her thumb along the inside teasingly. She reached up and allowed her finger to gently brush over the tiny crease where your leg ended and your panties began, looking up at you for affirmation before continuing.
You sighed, rolling your bottom lip between your front teeth. “Please Hazel. Please touch me.”
Hazel’s stomach couldn’t help but flutter every time one of your desperate pleas hit her ears, but she tried not to let it show. Still, it was difficult to ignore the dampness in her boxers, thankfully still hidden by her shorts. On the other hand, your panties were on full display, the black color managing to hide your wet spot from Hazel’s vision, but failing to keep your secret when she dragged her finger up your clothed cunt.
“Holy shit.” Hazel muttered under her breath. “So fucking wet already?”
You were far too turned on to even begin to respond to her taunts, opting instead to raise your hips and signify Hazel to take off your panties. Hazel, however, had other plans. She continued to stroke the length of your covered cunt, enjoying watching your hips stutter every time she so much as grazed your clit.
As much as you loved the cloth friction rubbing against your slit, the growing pool of wetness that resulted was beginning to make you feel suffocated. You lifted your hips to chase her touch, moaning with desperation. Hazel smirked, leaning down to whisper in your ear.
“Patience, pretty girl. I can’t do anything until you tell me what you want.”
Hazel’s finger picked at the waistband of your panties, while her darkened eyes stared down at you. You struggled to speak, your brain far too mushy to form a complete sentence. How in the hell were you this fucked out, and Hazel had barely touched you?
“P-please Haze… I need you mph… take them off…”
Another wicked grin appeared on Hazel's face as she leaned down again to praise your obedience. “Such a good girl.”
Her mouth latched onto your jaw as her fingers curled over the top of your waistband. You raised your hips, and Hazel pulled off your panties in one quick motion.
Now that you were completely exposed, you felt completely exposed, which wasn’t necessarily the most comfortable feeling. Your legs began to shut involuntarily, catching the attention of the girl hovered above you.
Her eyes went wide as she crawled off of you and put her hands up. “Hey, woah, are you ok? Do you wanna stop? I’m sorry! I should have checked in more. We can stop if you want. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Hazel’s sudden transition out of her dominant alter ego caught you off guard. Still though, you couldn’t help but melt a little. She was being so sweet, making sure you were ok, you almost felt a little bad for her. You didn’t mean to freak her out.
You sheepishly smiled up at her, a little embarrassed. “I’m fine. Really. It’s just a little weird being the only one naked is all.”
Hazel blinked at you, processing your words. Almost like a lightbulb went off in her head, she jumped up and practically tore all the clothing off her body, throwing each piece over her shoulder as soon as it was off. You couldn’t help but notice a string of arousal momentarily connecting her slick to her boxers, breaking only after she slid them down her legs.
Hazel’s body read like a painting, with each brush stroke precisely positioned to perfect the masterpiece. Her wetness glistened from in between her legs, and you couldn’t help but admire the beauty standing before you. However, you didn’t get to admire for long, as Hazel was already repositioning herself over you.
“Better?” She asked.
You sighed. “Definitely.”
Hazel immediately got to work trailing kisses down your body while thumbing through the folds of your slit. Soft moans echoed from your lips every time she’d slightly dip into your entrance for some more lubricant, and then frustrated groans would roll out whenever she immediately pulled out. God, she had access to every part of you and still managed to be such a tease.
Eventually, Hazel kissed her way down to your pelvic bone, hovering her face just over where you wanted her the most. Her hot breath tickled your dripping wet folds, making you tremble with anticipation. She stuck out her tongue and gently kitten-licked your clit to gauge your reaction, staring up at you as she did. A soft whimper left your throat, causing a smug smirk to form on Hazel’s face. Starting to gain some confidence back, she locked eyes with you and slowly licked up the entire length of your cunt, from your entrance all the way to the hood of your clit. You whined, throwing your head back against the carpet.
“Feel good?” Hazel asked, not bothering to wait for your response as she already knew the answer.
Hazel dived into you like a starved woman, lapping up your slick like it contained the very thing she needed to survive. Broken moans fell from your parted lips as you desperately grasped at her hair, trying to keep her exactly where you wanted her. Your hips bucked against her face, a part of you dying to see her features covered in your juices.
Her name found its way out of your mouth, almost involuntarily. “Hazel I… mph… fuck…”
“Fuck yeah. I love it when you say my name, pretty girl.” Hazel exclaimed, eyes rolling in the back of her head. You groaned. Dominant Hazel could have very easily put you into cardiac arrest, you were pretty sure.
The feeling of Hazel’s tongue against your engorged clit was hypnotizing, but your entrance was also twitching for attention. You wanted, no, you needed her inside you.
You grabbed Hazel’s hair and pulled it to lift her off you. She started to whine at the loss of your taste, but quickly looked up at you to make sure you were alright. “Everything ok, princess?”
“Hazel, I… I wanna ride your fingers. Please.” You panted breathlessly.
Hazel’s body shifted at your bold choice of words before a dark desire clouded her face again. “Of course.”
She reached up and crashed her lips against yours again, the taste of your own pussy still lingering on her tongue and coating your mouth in the most arousing way. You both readjusted to where she was on her back and you were now hovering over top of her. She adjusted her right hand in the “come here” position with her middle and ring fingers standing, and rested it in the middle of her thigh.
“All yours, honey.” She looked up at you with a goofy smile and half lidded eyes.
You positioned your entrance over her fingertips, shifting slightly before sliding down onto her knuckles. Hazel's fingers curled to hit your g-spot, forcing your head to fall back with a throaty groan.
“Feel good, gorgeous?” Another one of Hazel’s praises fell from her lips.
“Fuck Hazel, those nicknames are gonna kill me…” you whined.
Hazel smirked. “Oh yeah, you like that? Gorgeous? Pretty girl? My princess?”
As you were drinking in Hazel’s sweet nothings and riding her long fingers, your eyes fell down to her lap. Her exposed cunt glistened with her own arousal, dripping down her thighs and onto your carpet. A wicked idea popped into your head, and you couldn’t help but smirk.
Your hand traveled down to the folds of Hazel's slick, forcing the brunette beauty underneath you to jump at the sudden touch. “Honey, what are you…”
“Is this ok?” You asked softly. Hazel nodded quickly, realizing what you were getting at. You hastily licked your fingers and slid them into her twitching cunt.
Hazel moaned at the feeling of your fingers inside her. “Fuck, baby. Feels so good. So good to me.”
The longer you bounced on Hazel’s hand, the more you felt that familiar tight feeling in your abdomen. “Hazel, I’m…”
“Yeah… mph… me too.” She managed to whisper under her breath.
Hazel positioned her thumb to rub against your clit, forcing your body to tremble in sputtered shocks. You curled your palm to stimulate her clit, and you could tell she was almost as close as you were.
“Hazel, can we… mph… cum together?” You asked, rolling your bottom lip between your teeth.
The brunette underneath you was already starting to fall apart. “Fuck baby… so close… let go… I’ll follow… yeah?”
You rolled your hips against her, using your free hand to position her wrist where you needed her to touch you. Your hips sputtered, your core tightened, your clit throbbed. “Hazel, I… mph fUCK!”
Your head rolled back as you let out a sound so primal, you weren’t even sure it was sexy. Hazel soon followed, her groans and whimpers reverberating around the room as her hips sputtered under you. You rode out your climaxes together, the erotic sounds of sex disappearing into the nearly empty house.
Hazel couldn’t believe it. Not only was her longtime crush gay, not only was she fucking you, but she had just given you a mind-blowing orgasm at the same time you gave her one. Fuck, the very thought almost made her cum a second time.
You rolled off of her, and snuggled into her chest while she wrapped her arm around you. “Wow…”
“That was… unexpected…” Hazel muttered breathlessly.
You giggled. “Yeah, no kidding.”
A comfortable silence filled the room, both of you just enjoying the presence of the other, the project from before long forgotten.
You looked up at her, planting a soft kiss on her jaw. “Still think we can’t be friends?”
“I think we’re a little more than friends now.” Hazel chuckled.
Your heart fluttered at her suggestion. “Yeah? You want to?”
“I mean, yeah, if you want to.”
You nodded, snuggling back into her chest, close to falling asleep after so much activity. Hazel continued to stare up at the ceiling, a goofy grin plastered across her features.
“PJ is gonna lose her mind after this.”
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nsfwmaemi · 2 months
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Good For Something (ft. ITZY Ryujin)
WC: 750
Genre: smut, ryujin x sub m!reader
A/N: Unedited snippet I wrote on a whim for Ryujin day. Fun fact: Ryujin was my third ever ult bias. Can yall guess my first two ult biases? First to guess both wins a... uh... a high five!
“I’m heading to bed!” You hear as the door opens. The lights turn on. You finally see a real living human being after months.
“Good night!” She screams through the small crack of the door before shutting it completely. She clumsily drops her bags by the closet near her door, then does a few little stretches.
She drags her feet towards you, slowly taking off her clothes. Starting with her top, she discards it and throws it beside you. Then she pulls her jeans down along with her panties, fully revealing her glistening pussy. Lastly, as she stands right in front of you, she unhooks her bra and drops it on the floor with her jeans.
With such a sight to behold, your erection comes to life right away. She grabs her makeup removal kit from the bedside table before straddling you. Aligning your shaft to her folds, she slowly sinks down.
“Mmmmmm,” she moans, “I haven’t had a dick in me for so long.” Her tight entrance slowly envelops your length. She ties her hair back as she stares at her reflection in the mirror above you.
Gently, painfully slowly, she grinds on your length as she starts removing her makeup. With heavy breaths, she sways her hips back and forth while paying attention to the little details of her makeup, making sure she completely cleans her face.
In cleansing her face, she must be as gentle as possible in order to keep her flawless skin flawless. However, this gentleness translates to her fucking. While you’re used to fast and rough, just as she likes it, her pace is so meticulous, that it is unsettling for you—a literal change of pace.
As soon as she is done with her makeup removal, she grabs onto your shoulders and bounces on your length. This is what you’re used to. Without batting an eye on you, she untangles her hair and admires her own raw beauty in the mirror. You as well gaze upon her majesty, but her majesty does not even look down on her subject. To her, you are merely a toy, a dick to fuck when she wants.
Without warning, her pace slows down, her grip tightens, and her walls tighten. She moans as loudly as she wants as juices gush from her folds. Her body weakens, leaning forwards, embracing your head close to her shoulder and her chest landing on yours. She grabs your hair until finally her orgasm subsides.
“I haven’t… had one of those… in ages,” she mutters between heavy breaths. She pulls your hair down until your face is looking at her. “You wanna cum, too?” You nod frantically.
“I don’t usually do this, but you’ve been such a good toy to me,” she tells you as she gets off you and grabs your cock. With a sly smile, she teases, “and I know you missed me.”
With an increasing pace, she rubs your cock while staring at you in the eyes. You stare back at her and her body, focusing on her slim figure, grateful that you get to fuck such a figure every day, a body you can never get to touch and admire.
As your small moans start slipping out of your mouth, she quickens the pace even more knowing you’re on the verge of climaxing. And so you do, spurting small loads of semen onto your own belly. She takes a look at your small mess. Her sly smile turns to disappointment, then anger.
“This is pathetic. What is this?” She asks menacingly. She stands on her feet and leans over, glaring at you. “Did you nut while I was gone?”
Stunned, frightened, you can only cower in fear, avoiding eye contact. You were taught not to lie. You couldn’t. But you also couldn’t say yes. To her, the silence implies it however, and that’s all she needs to know.
She sends a palm flying towards your cheek, making a noise so loud you worry her roommates might have heard it.
“What did I tell you?” She growls at you. Again, you can only cower in fear.
“You’re pathetic.” She insults you as the sting on your cheek still lingers. “You know the punishment.”
She storms out, heading towards the bathroom. You hear the shower turn on while you’re stuck on the same couch you’ve lived in for however the fuck long, unable to clean yourself or even touch yourself. You can only sit there quietly as you await your punishment.
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jrwiyuri · 2 years
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I kind of slayed when I made my own lps stories tbh
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d6volution · 7 months
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tehehe, okay!! so. Jax x girly fem reader smut!! Reader is almost like a pillow princess, also. Breeding kink with Jax 🤭
your wish is my command 🙇🏾‍♀️
minors dni !
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"All this just for me? Oh, you shouldn't have." Jax coos in a mocking yet seductive tone. Knowing full well he helped— no, instructed you to assume this position. One of your favorites, all you had to was there lay while Jax took care of you.
For a moment, he examined your face, "Ya really need all that makeup doll? You know it's gonna be gone by the time I'm through with ya, right?"
"Wanted to look pretty for you.." You huffed your voice, getting small, and he chuckled at your pouting face.
"You always look pretty doll.. so damn pretty." He said, admiring your nude body.
You were laid out on your back, a pink pillow neatly tucked under you, just above your tail bone. It was comfortable, but.. also embarrassing. Jax's hand held one of your thighs against your stomach, exposing your glistening folds to him. Your face was hot, and his grin only grew. Radiating that smug energy, "I've hardly done anything and you're already dripping, you could have a little shame y'know." He teased and rubbed the tip of his cock along your folds.
His veiny shaft brushed against your clit , causing you to squirm but his fingers only dug into your thigh. A warning to keep still.
His free hand removed itself from the base of his cock and dipped into your cunt instead. He opened his mouth, something he rarely does— to lick his fingers.. all while keeping eye contact. "You're even sweeter than you look, ya know that..?"
"Jaaaxx...." A pathetic whine escaped your lips, you desperately wanted to hide away in the moutain of colorful blankets that surrounded you, but Jax wasn't going to have that, and you knew it.
"Whaaat I can't admire how you taste? Or are ya just too desperate to wait .. ? That it, dollface? You know, I could do this all day." He laughed, hand returning to his cock. Rubbing it up against your swollen lower lips.
"No, n-no... need you inside Jax, please.." Your needy voice was his weakness.  Desperate and dripping with lust.
"Oh, I know." Was all he said before his other hand grabbed your thigh and pushed it up against your chest , mirroring the other. Your ankles were nearly touching your ears at this point, "Mn. Perfect," He said under his breath before plunging into your cunt. Your back arched and you gripped the sheets beneath your fingertips.
You cursed, and his name escaped your lips in a dissary, mixed with moans and pleas.
"Sh, shh .. I know babe." He hushed you, his body flush against your own as he rutted into your cunt, tip nudging at your most sensitive and deepest spot. "Ya feel that? Gonna make sure I'm this deep when I cum so I can get ya knocked up. How's that sound..?" After all, then you can't deny who you belong to when your stomachs swelling with his kits.
"W.. Wha—" His words rang in your ears but he didn't give you time to think. No, this wasn't the time to use your brain, just to be a good little pocket pussy for him.
"Don't .. worry that pretty little head of yours," He grunted, his hips moving like a jack hammer. Just the thought of getting you knocked up was making him throb inside of you. "I'll take care of you.."
He was panting, the grip he had on your thighs was leaving impressions in your skin. 
"Ja.. aah.... s-slow down—" You whined as he fucked you into the mattress, due to the position he was constantly battering right against your womb. "No can do, you can take it babe. J-Just keep still for me.. gonna cum soon.. your f@ckin' milking me sweetheart.." His stuttered out. Ignoring any fruther pleas from you because your body was telling him everything he needed to know.
Everytime he tried to pull out you sucked him back, your cunt was made for him. Only for him. Perfect for breeding, for carrying his seed.~
He added more weight to his thrusts, knees digging into the mattress as he tried to keep his balance. "Gonna take my cum, doll? Don't waste a drop.. even if you do I'll f@ck it right back into you." And that was a promise.
His hips stuttered and he made sure his tip was digging right against your cervix before finally letting go, "Aah.. there.. right there, get pregnant baby, take my cum." He said, his mouth hovering right back your ear. All his words going straight to your cunt which vicely gripped his dick. Happily taking his cum even when it started to spill past your cunt.
"Nah.. what'd I say babe? Gonna waste my cum like that..?" At this point he was being mean, slowly thrusting his hips and making even more spill out. You babbled out apologies , your cunt so numb that you didn't even notice the orgasm washing over your body.. you were tingling all over.
"S.. Sorry, Jax.. couldn't help it..." You said, but he didn't move. Still buried inside of you.
"Mhmn... don't sweat it, babe, we've got all night.." His eyes were a little.... crazed, focus on the pool of cum in between your legs rather than your eyes.
You were certainly going to be here for a while.
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messylustt · 1 year
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could u pls pls plssss do a smut where ethan finds all of the readers “toys” (iykyk) in her drawer so he gets some ideas😏
yes pls
late night toys — ethan landry + reader ( scream ) : ethan finds your ‘toys’ hidden in your drawer
contents : sex toys. remote control. kinda dub con. ethan snoops around. wc 1.8k
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You had been out, texting Ethan to just wait in your apartment. He had wandered in, gazing around at the newly furnished living room. He always thought you bought too many things that could be considered unnessisary.
With you being out, and the new items he had yet to see, he began to snoop. He wouldn't consider it snooping. You were friends and you would have showed him around anyway.
He started in living room, seeing the generic cushions, couch and tv. Then went to the kitchen. He began to notice a running theme of randomly placed little hedgehogs. Tiny enough not be too noticeable at first glance.
Ethan chuckled as he picked one up that you had placed by the hallway mirror. His gaze then lead him to your room. He had been in there once, when you were studying together.
He made his way under the doorway, gazing around at your half made bed, and large clothes drawer. He noticed another little hedgehog right by your makeup kit. He wondered if you kept them everywhere, even in hidden small places.
Of course you were one to unintentionally make a fun treasure hunt for him. You always found ways to make even the most boring tasks enjoyable.
Ethan checked in your top drawer, only spotting folded and unfolded clothes. Then he bend down to open the bottom draw. He paused, eyes widening at the contents he found inside.
He really should shut the drawer, forget he saw anything, forget he saw toys he didn't think you owned. But he found himself taking one out.
His eyes seemed to expand even more as he stared at the rather large dildo. Jeez it was big. And of course the thought of 'what you could handle' crossed his mind. He gulped, beginning to feel his pants strain.
He looked back inside the drawer, spotting a smaller vibrator with two remote controls. Ethan's mouth had begun to salivate as more erotic thoughts filled his head.
Slowly a devious plan formed. What pushed him to do it was the thought of you squirming by his control. He just had to wait until tonight.
When you had gotten back, suggesting that you study in the living room, your bedroom door was shut as if Ethan had never been in there in the first place.
Once night had befallen, Ethan asked if he could stay, saying that the trains were supposed to be unreliable tonight.
"Sure, the guest bedroom is just down the hall." You say, as you dump the leftover pizza boxes in the bin.
"Thanks." Ethan smiled, as he made his way to the room.
You shut your bedroom door, changing into comfortable loose pajamas. You had at first been reluctant in letting Ethan stay over because you wanted to try out your new toy. But it was selfish letting him go home in the dark when the trains might not even be running.
Your old remote control vibrator had gone dead, no use in just buying new batteries, so you decided to buy a whole new set. You opened your bottom drawer, thinking on how far down the guest bedroom was. You could easily be quiet if you didn't put it on a high volume.
Pushing past the slight shame of someone else being in the apartment you grabbed the remote control and the vibrator. You positioned yourself against your pillows, shutting the lights off and removing your pajama pants.
You were also ashamed at the fact that you were already turned on. And not by the fact of trying out your new toy, but because of a certain someone. Lately your mind had wandered to Ethan, the dorky kid who helped with your assignments. And the thought that he was so close made your thighs clench together.
Biting your lip, you widened your legs, turning on the remote control, as you kept your eyes shut. Your head leant back as you pushed the vibrator inside you, pressing the button to slightly quicken the speed.
Your back arched as your mouth began to open, silent whimpers leaving your lips. You kept it on a low volume, really not wanting to wake your guest. But then you felt the toy inside you quicken, without the touch of your fingers. There's a flash of confusion before pleasure clouds your mind. "Shit." You mutter before biting your lip harder.
Maybe you had shifted your finger on the remote by accident. You slightly shifted, choosing to stay on this setting. But just as before it quickens, finally making you gasp. Your hand was nowhere near the remote control. When you finally looked down in the dark the familiar light on the remote was switched off. It wasn't even on, so why—
You choked a gasp when the vibrator again picked up speed, making your hips jolt. Your brows were furrowed, body wracking with pleasure. How the hell is it working?
The speed then picked up to one almost ungodly, making your entire body buzz, your hips thrusted into nothing. You whimpered, chest heaving.
"Fuck...look at you." A breathless voice spoke. You whipped your head to the right, to see Ethan walking out of the shadows. You blanch, eyes wide. "E—ethan?"
Ethan grins, tilting his head as he nears you. You look down to see a remote control in his hand, one with the light on. You quickly go to shut your legs, embarrassed, but Ethan turns the volume up, making you moan, and your legs shudder.
Ethan was hypnotised by your bodies movements, and as he played with the settings, picking up and speed and slowing down, his cock throbbed. The moonlight shone through your slightly open curtains, streaking across your sweating body. Ethan gulped, reaching to stand over you.
You gazed up at him, wide eyes, heavy with pleasure. "How did you—where—where did you find...that." You manage in between pathetic whimpers.
Ethan crawls onto the bed-you being in the center. "I was looking around at all the new things you got." Ethan says, making sure your legs stayed open as he changed settings. "I was surprised to see something like this." His smirk hadn't fallen.
He then leans down, just hovering over you as he kept the controller in one hand. Your mouth was opening, as his breath hit your lips. Your cheeks were a rosy colour, and they seemed to only brighten as Ethan continued talking. He hadn't really touched you yet, and you were embarrassed at how much you wanted him to.
Your hips had begun to slightly jolt and thrust. And Ethan had to hold down the want to press his strained cock against your core. "I just couldn't help myself." He confessed. "That remote control you were "using" was apart of your old set, the one without batteries."
You moaned as the vibrator continued to hum inside you. Ethan breathlessly chuckled. "I wasn't sure if this was going to work." He adjusted himself over you, liking you being this close as you whimpered and moaned, the sounds caught in repeat in his brain.
"But look at you...a whimpering mess, all because of this." He holds up the remote as he switches the volume higher.
"Oh, god." You moaned as your head sunk further into the pillows as you shut your eyes tight.
"Look at me." Ethan breathed. But you felt beyond embarrassed, keeping them closed.
"I—i shouldn't have done—done this when you were here." You managed as you can feel your impending orgasm approaching.
"No, no. I'm glad you did." Ethan's words hit your lips making you squirm even more. "Now open your eyes."
You finally do, meeting his lustful gaze. "Have you always had toys like this?" Ethan asks, licking his lips.
Your breathing stutters, intense pleasure nearing. "I'm—I'm gonna-"
"Not yet." Ethan lowers the volume making a whine leave your lips.
"Please." You breathe, staring up at him.
Ethan had never been more turned on in his life. He stared down at your pleading eyes, and nearly orgasmed right there. His breath hitches as his gaze begins to darken. "What was that?" He whispered.
"P-" You began before gulping. "Please?" You sounded so innocent as your big eyes kept him captivated.
"Fuck." He hisses, turning the volume up a fraction higher. You moaned, chest heaving up and down as you had begun to grind your hips into the toy.
"Christ, your so turned on." Ethan practically praises. "Why do you look so...pretty like this?"
Ethan's chest had begun to heave just like yours as he watched your form squirm and shake. "Have you always used this kind of toy?" He asks.
Your mind is practically just pleasure at this point as you nod. "And you've always used the remote yourself?"
You again nodded. "You didn't let your past boyfriends use it?"
"I wasn't sure if they would—shit—would've been into it." You breathe out as you catch Ethan's gaze.
Your eyes dart down to his lips. They looked so kissable in the dim lighting. You reached up, placing an almost gentle kiss to his mouth. Ethan was shocked at first, as he felt your smooth lips press to his.
As you leaned your head back down, Ethan quickly followed, harshly breathing into your mouth. "Oh, but I'm into it." He whispered, before capturing your bottom lip. He sucks, letting his tongue drag across the flesh. "Mm. I'm so...into it. Seeing you squirm under me, as all I have to do is run my finger along this remote..." He does so, making you whine into his mouth, as he smiles against your lips. "...I like it a lot."
Ethan kisses you again, hard, as he laps at your tongue, groaning as you kiss him back, your own tongue dancing with his. "Oh fuck. Ethan I'm gonna- I'm so close." You moan out, as you open your mouth against his.
"Yeah?" Ethan asked, as he made the virbator quicken, making your back slightly arch into him.
"Ethan—oh god." Your tone was growing higher pitched as you whimpered out incoherent words.
Then the pleasure hit, your body shuddering as your mouth hung open. Your chest heaved in sweat, as you grasped as Ethan's shirt, your body jittery. "Shit."
Ethan's mouth had opened too as he lustfully watches you orgasm. He gradually slows the virbrator inside you, as your body slumps into your mattress.
"Holy shit," Ethan mutters before kissing you, this time a little gentler, just slowly licking your lips. "If you ever use this alone, I'll keep it going inside you until your begging for me to stop." Ethan says, kissing your cheek.
"But it's my toy." You say, your usual attitude returning now that the pleasure had ceased.
Ethan shakes his head, removing the toy from inside you, making you slightly jolt as it brushes against your sensitive walls. Ethan puts the remote control in his back pocket as he settles himself further onto you, his lips brushing across your neck. His hand had weaved into your hair as he kitten licked your still rapidly beating pulse.
Ethan chuckles. "Don't worry, you can keep the vibrator." Then he hovers over your red lips again, whispering. "I'll keep the controller."
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samandcolbyownme · 4 months
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Summary: anon request - "Requesting for Jake (and Johnnie but it's not what you think) // Jake Johnnie and y/n go live in the car - Jake accidentally lets it slip that he was with someone - no one knew - y/n and Jake don't want anyone knowing that they're together ???  So they're scrambling to try and cover it up? Idk if that makes any sense but in my mind it does lolllll thanks"
Warnings: Fluff mainly, flirting, trying different candies, Jake and Johnnie being Jake and Johnnie, secret relationship between reader and Jake, cute, funny
Word count: little over 2k | not edited at all
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
As you're getting around to go do a video with Jake and Johnnie, your phone lights up. You lean over, picking up and smiling when you see Jake's name on the screen, "Hello?"
"Are you almost ready? Johnnie's getting a little impatient." Jake laughs and you can hear Johnnie in the background yelling but Jake raises his voice to cover it, "Well be there to get you in like ten minutes."
"Okay." You laugh, "I'm about ready."
"Okay. See you soon." Jake says and you agreed, "Yeah, bye." You smile as you hang up, getting ready to set your phone down, but you get a text that makes you stop.
It's from Jake, Remember, gotta keep your hands to yourself.
You smirk, setting down your brush to hold your phone with both hands, Aw, man. That's no fun. But since we're a secret, I guess I can manage.
You set your phone down, doing your finishing touches to your makeup, before you get another text from Jake, you're my favorite secret.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"Hey." You say as you get in the car, "Look at you sitting in the back already." You turn to look Johnnie in the backseat and he stares blankly at you, "I don't like it."
Jake sighs making his voice all weird, "Well suck it up buttercup." He laughs as he starts to drive away. You bite your lip, keeping your head forward as you try to keep your smile at bay.
When you're with Jake, you're always giddy, happy to see him. You're always wanting to hold his hand, lay your hand his arm, kiss him.
Anything to be touching him.
But you can't do that right now. You and Jake agreed to try and keep things on the low, just have some private time for as long as you can before word got out and everyone went crazy.
"We got some American candy and some candy from over yonder to compare them to." Jake pulls into the parking lot, leaning forward to check if he's up far enough.
"Over yonder as in.. where, Jake?" Johnnie asks and Jake puts the car in park before turning around to look at him, "Can you not just go with the flow for once? Do you have to know everything?"
Johnnie nods, "Yeah, I'm an anxious person."
"Here." Jake hands him a regular Kit Kat, "Eat this."
"Ooh. Candy!" Johnnie's voice goes high, almost like he's about to pull out the Timmy card and Jake sighs, "Please, Johnnie. Keep Timmy in your pants."
You cover your mouth, fighting back laughter as Jake turns around, looking over at you, "What's so funny?"
You look at him, smirking slightly as you shrug, "You're just a funny guy, Webber." He laughs, "Ah, ha. Ha. I know." He winks at you before starting the stream, "Hello. It's me."
"And me." Johnnie buts in and you lean over, "I'm here, too."
Jake smiles, "You guys get the three stooges today.  Moe. Larry. And Curly." His eyes scan over the chat, "Today, I'm going to be making y/n and Johnnie try some candy snacks from over yonder, ya know?"
You watch as he reaches back, pulling a bag from the floor behind your seat.
"Oh!" He yells kinda loud, which makes you jump, "You can get one of these bad girls." He pinches his hoodie and pulls it out, "On the merch site."
He looks back at Johnnie and scoffs, "Stop tongue fucking your Kit Kat and show them your shirt, Jesus Christ Johnnie."
Johnnie tries not to laugh, "B-but. I thought that's what we were doing?"
You roll your eyes, laughing as he leans forward, "If you want to support us in being americas favorite ladies, click the link below."
"Yes, all proceeds will go to Johnnie smelling better than a hairsprayed chicken nugget." Jake claps his hands together, cutting Johnnie off before he can say anything, "Anyway. Let's get started."
He pulls something from the bag and looks at it, "So this is a melon flavored kit from what I'm guessing is Japan? Maybe?" He hands it to you and you look at it, "Cantaloupe I think."
You shrug, opening it up, "I mean.. it smells.. okay?" You hold the open candy up to Jake's nose and he takes a big, over-exaggerated sniff, "Mm." He groans, "Melony."
"You're so fucking weird." Johnnie shakes his head and you extend your arm back, "You wanna smell it, too?"
He leans in, "I don't smell anything."
"Hmm." You pull your arm back up, breaking off one of the bars, "Here." You hand one to Jake and he takes it, "Why thank you." He takes it and bites into it and Johnnie yells, "Thanks for waiting for us you jackass."
You laugh, looking between them and Jake puts the piece he bit off back on top of the bar, "Fine, I'll just magically reattach it."
You lean forward, "Yeah." You nod as you read the chats, "They fight like a married couple."
"We do not." Both Jake and Johnnie say at the same time and you tilt your head, "Really."
"I'm not married to Johnnie because my-" Jake stops and your eyes go slightly wide, "Because your what Jake?"
Johnnie leans up, "Yeah, Jake. Is there something I should know about?"
Jake laughs and shakes his head, biting into the candy, "Fuck you guys."
"Another woman, or man, I should know about?" Johnnie is clearly joking, but he wouldn't be if he knew about the two of you.
"Alright, no. I'm not.." Jake laughs, "I give this one a three point five."
"Way to change the subject." Johnnie says and Jake looks at him, "Can you-"
Johnnie cuts him off, "Not me. The people in the screen are saying it."
You lean forward, eyes scanning down over the chat,
User1- PLEASE they're so funny
User2 - Nahhh that sounded like Jake was about to spill a secret
User3- TELL US
User4 - JAKE WEBBER WHAT ARE YOU HIDING
User5 - he has a secret girlfriend. I'm calling it right now.
User6 - Jake would have told us, so no one jump to conclusions please
User 7 - Y'all don't know that wtffff Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake please
User8 - I just joined, what happened?
"Well, I'll catch you up, Jake and Johnnie are arguing over the fact that they say they aren't a married couple." You laugh as you look at Jake, then to Johnnie, "And you guys so are."
Jake rolls his eyes, "Annyywaaay."
"Anyway." You and Johnnie say at the same time, both mocking Jake. You give Jake a smile, letting him know you're low key flirting with him.
"What the fuck." Johnnie shakes his head, "There's no way that just happened. Fucking mocking me you.. mocker."
Jake rolls his eyes at Johnnie and smirks at you, "Anyway."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
A little while later, towards the end of the stream, you're trying these chocolate candies, "Ah." You catch chocolate in your hand, "Why is it melting like this?”
"I don't know, I can't read Japanese." Jake laughs, "Hang on." He reaches over, grabbing a napkin and wiping it off your pant leg, "Goddamn. We can dress you up but we can't take you out."
"Wait, I thought you only said that to me." Johnnie pouts, "You backstabbing bitch."
Jake laugh, hanging his down as he shakes it, "Johnnie, I can't take you anywhere in general."
"Fair. Fair." Johnnie nods and you try to eat the candy but it gets on your lip and down your chin, "Ope." You close your lip, pointing with your pinky so Jake can get you another napkin.
"Jesus Christ, y/n. You're messier than I am." Johnnie laughs and you roll your eyes. Jake wipes your chin and lip with his thumb and pops it into his mouth, without thinking of course.
"Did you just.. Jake. You're holding a fucking napkin." Johnnie points and Jake just stares at you, panicking on what to do.
You lick your lips, wiping your chin off with the napkin, "now that I can speak, Johnnie. At least I don't leave black hair color stains on Jake's white seats."
Johnnie purses his lips and points to you, "That.. is from my root cover up bullshit. It's not easy being a blonde who dyes their hair, ya know."
Jake leans back over into his seat and laugh, "That's why you're stupid, stupid fuck."
You and Jake gently, well you gently bully Johnnie. Jake just bullies him to try and cover up what he did to you, but the chat won't let it go.
User9 - DID HE JUST- he didn't
User10- PLEASE HE HAD A NAPKIN
User11 - if I was y/n right now I'd be dead
User12 - that was so hot WTF
User13 - PLEASS GELL MW THEURE DAYING
User14 - JAKE blink if you like y/n
User15 - Johnnie absolutely kills me he's so funny without even trying LMAO
User16 - Johnnie knows. Johnnie tell us. Please Johnnie. Please SPILL IT
"Wait." Johnnie leans forward, "What did I spill?" He looks around and Jake laughs, "You idiot, they're telling you to spill something, you know like a secret. Fuck, why are we friends?"
"Because.." Johnnie changes his voice, "You love me. I'm all you have."
"Not true." Jake mumbles as he glances over at you because raising his voice loud enough for Johnnie to hear, "Yeah, yeah. I guess. Whatever you say."
"I'll take it." Johnnie nods and leans back, "so is that all or is there any other things we need to try?"
"Yeah, you need to try shutting the fuck up for once." Jake tries not to laugh, but fails, snorting as he rests his head on the steering wheel, "Fucking hell, Johnnie."
"As I said. Married couple." You laugh as you break apart another Kit Kat and hand a piece to Jake.
Johnnie slowly leans forward, his voice is quiet, "You'll have to kill me if you want me to stop, because I'm never going to stop."
Jake waits a few seconds and quickly reaches his hands up, trying to get Johnnie's neck.
User17 - we're about to witness the murder of Johnnie Guilbert
User18 - rip Johnnie
User19 - idk how y/n puts up with them
You sigh, shrugging as you tilt your head, "I don't know either, honestly." You laugh, reaching up to break up the small cat fight between the boys, "Hey, no blood on the white interior."
"Yes mom." Jake faces forward, hands in his lap and Johnnie salutes you, "Yes ma'am."
You chew on the inside of your cheek, "Do we have anything else to try?" Jake shakes his head, "No, I don't think we do." He looks over at you, "I am hungry though."
You and Johnnie both agree and Johnnie sighs, "Stop. Fucking. Copying me."
"Stop fucking copying me." You mock him with a laugh and Johnnie hangs his head down, "You're lucky you're not Jake saying that because if it was Jake I-"
"What." Jake spins around, "What will you do, you big bad. Emo goth guy?" He tries not to laugh again and Johnnie just reaches up slowly, tapping him on the cheek, "That. Thats what I'd do."
"You hit like a bitch bro, remind me to never have you on my side in a fight." Jake turns around laughing and Johnnie just sighs, "I can't stand you."
"You love me." Jake smiles at him and Johnnie tries not to laugh, "Fuck off."
"You know.. I'd- nevermind." Jake laughs, shaking his head, "Nevermind. Okay. So that's it for today. See you in the next one, bye."
Johnnie waves, along with you and Jake ends the stream.
It's quiet for a few minutes as everyone gets situated for the drive to get food and Johnnie breaks the silence, "so are you guys like fucking? Or what?"
You and Jake glance at each other, neither one of you willing to answer and Johnnie huffs, “Mm. Just as I suspected.”
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
This was literally written on a whim. I had this sitting in my drafts for a little while and I finally just sat down and kept writing until I felt like it was good enough to stop.
I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think.
Love you all! 🖤
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
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nochukoo97 · 10 months
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nevertheless;
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pairing: bestfriend!jungkook x reader
summary: jungkook has a hard time showing how much he really does care for you, but at the same time you can’t help but convince yourself your best friend will never love you back the same way you do, or will he?
word count: 5k+
teaser
“Stay here,” You command Jungkook, who’s currently pouting a little too dramatically as he sulks on the bench.
“Don’t move,” You look back, giving him a stern gaze as you make your way to get the first aid kit near the soccer field.
Jungkook had been roughhousing with his teammates, they had been play-wrestling on the soccer field for a good half an hour, not before someone actually got hurt.
And that someone was your best friend, Jeon Jungkook.
So now you have the duty to patch up the guy, who had been insisting his bleeding cut would magically heal on its own.
You refuse to leave it untreated.
When you jog back to where Jungkook was waiting, you spot him crouched near the patch of grass, a few steps away from the bench you had instructed him to sit on.
“Yah! Are you a puppy or something? I told you to sit still!” You scold him, and he quickly whips his head around and frowns,
“I only took like three steps away! I swear I sat there for really long, just got distracted,” He’s whining, sitting back on the bench as he gives you those innocent puppy eyes.
It’s on purpose, to make you stop nagging at him.
“Don’t trick me into not scolding you,” You flick his forehead gently, “What if you fell and hurt yourself again, huh?”
Jungkook scoffs, “Yah, I’m not that fragile, in fact, it’ll probably be you who would be falling,”
He crosses his arms, looking away from you.
“Okay, then fix yourself up,” You shove the first aid kit into his crossed arms, forcing him to quickly catch it before it falls onto the ground.
Jungkook settles the box next to him before dramatically clutching his cheek.
“Ahh” He hisses, eyebrows furrowing as he touches the bleeding cut on his cheek.
“Yah! Don’t touch it! You’ll get it infected! Aish-” You sigh, swatting his hand away as he looks back up at you with those eyes again.
“Fine, fine,” You shake your head at the boy looking up at you, “Stay still,”
Jungkook’s eyes never leave your face the whole time you clean up his cut, even when the alcohol stung his cut, causing him to hiss and grab onto your smaller hand, his eyes never left your pretty face.
He notices the glow on your face from the spot light above the soccer field, your lips slightly pink from the tinted lip balm you bought when the both of you went to the mall. Your eyelashes look more curled than usual, maybe you used the curler you had bought when you dragged him into the makeup store.
Your eyes are focused on repairing the cut on his face, Jungkook stares right into them in a daze.
“Okay, done,” You whisper to yourself, turning to scan his face, but Jungkook has love struck eyes as he stares back at you.
“Kook,” Your voice snaps him out of his daze.
“Yeah?”
“You’re done,” You pat his shoulder, getting him to stand up.
“Thanks, ___” He smiles sweetly at you, making your heart thump in your chest.
He’s your best friend, you shouldn’t be feeling this way.
Jungkook stands up, his stance now towering over you, as he walks towards the grass patch.
You watch as he bends down, picking up something from the grass and hiding it behind his back as he walks back to you.
“Here’s my thank you gift,” Jungkook grins at you, revealing what he was hiding, a bunch of small flowers that he had plucked while you went to get the first aid kit.
“Oh? Thanks Koo,” You smile, taking the flowers from him.
Jungkook ruffles your hair, before bidding goodbye, telling you to not go home too late.
You stare at the flowers in your hand as you clutch your poor heart, beating way too fast.
Maybe you have a chance with him.
-
You should definitely not be eavesdropping on this conversation right now, but you can’t help yourself, after all, your name coming from Jungkook’s voice caught your attention.
“Yah, so do you like her?” There’s an unrecognisable voice in a hushed whisper, probably one of Jungkook’s friends
“Nah, she’s my friend,”
Ouch, that fucking hurt.
You could’ve gone about your day not knowing this, yet you’re somewhat happy that you did, or else you would still have the slightest glimpse of hope that he would even like you.
Your heart shattered into a million pieces.
You and Jungkook had made plans to go over to his house today, something you two often did on a weekly basis. Yet with what you heard just now, you seriously did not feel like getting your heart played again.
jungkook: we’re watching that kdrama i told you about later kay
You read his text, before looking up, locking eyes with him from where he was sitting, all the way at the other end of the classroom.
Shit, don’t fall for his antics.
You look back down at your phone, replying:
you: okay
You quickly lock your phone and shove it into your bag before your professor can catch you.
The phone now in your bag vibrates again, Jungkook’s looking at you expectedly, waiting for a reply. Instead, you ignore the buzzing, looking straight at the board filled with math equations.
When the class ends, Jungkook immediately rushes to your table, as the classroom clears, the rest of the students all rushing out to go home.
“Yah, why didn’t you answer my text,” He drags the chair near your table and sits nexts to you, but you don’t even spare him a glance, shrugging as you focus on packing up your stuff.
“Did I do something wrong?” Jungkook frowns, noticing a change in your mood, you obviously were dejected about something, but he simply couldn’t piece it together.
You don’t respond to that, you don’t know what your answer is to that question. Technically he didn’t do anything wrong, he had a choice in his feelings towards you, but he also was the reason why you felt this way.
“I think I’m gonna go home, sorry,” You whisper, not daring to look at him.
“What? Why? Did I make you mad? Or is it Junghyeon?” He’s panicking, you can tell, you feel bad for making him feel as if he had done something wrong, even though he had technically done nothing wrong.
You frown at the name mentioned.
Junghyeon was your ex boyfriend, he had been nasty to you throughout the relationship, and Jungkook had been the one to help you out of it. He had been the one to open your eyes and realise what a shit boyfriend Junghyeon was. Even up to now Jungkook will defend you if Junghyeon talks shit and spreads rumours about you.
Another reason to feel bad for treating Jungkook so differently all of a sudden. Just because of what you heard while eavesdropping. You had no reason to treat him this way, yet it fucking hurt your heart everytime he gave you butterflies, when in your head you’re telling yourself, he doesn’t like you like that.
“It’s nothing Kook, just, I’m gonna head back,” You sigh, swinging your bag over your shoulder, as Jungkook stands up with you, holding your arm.
“Let go,” You struggle against his hold, but he doesn’t let you leave.
“Not until you tell me why you’re being like that,” He shakes his head, eyes filled with concern and panic, he doesn’t know what happened, not a single clue.
“It’s nothing Kook, just let me go,” You almost sneer at him, before running out of the classroom.
Jungkook can only stand there in confusion, his heart aches slightly, but he refuses to give up.
-
“Jeon, come with us to eat lunch,” He looks up after a moment of silence, realises Mingyu was standing at the entrance, waiting for his reply.
“Nah I’ll pass-“
“Come on Jeon, you haven’t hung out with me for a really long time,” Mingyu wraps his arm around Jungkook’s shoulder, dragging the dejected boy out of the classroom.
Jungkook would much rather be with you right now, finding out what made you so cold all of a sudden, to reconcile whatever happened to make you mad, to cuddle and hug you, to comfort you and hear you laugh and smile again.
Instead, he’s stuck with Mingyu sitting next to him, as Mingyu’s friends shamelessly flirt with him.
He’s frankly sick and tired of having to attend to these girls who he had zero interest in.
Sure they weren’t ugly, but their personalities weren’t the prettiest either.
“So, Jungkookie,” The girl sitting opposite him coos, he frowns at the nickname, he doesn’t even remember her fucking name.
“Do you like girls with short hair or long hair?” She flicks her hair, both girls flirting with him having kind of short hair, shoulder length and a little longer.
“Long hair,” He replies with a monotonous voice, staring blankly at them.
“Oh,”
Jungkook wants to let out a laugh, but he holds himself back.
-
You’re laying on your bed, sulking and tearing up. You don’t even know why you’re crying over this stupid thing. You didn’t even get rejected, but you did get rejected indirectly by hearing what Jungkook had said to the unknown person.
You open up your phone, going on Instagram in hopes to distract yourself from breaking down, but the first story that you open up just has to be Mirae’s instagram, with a picture of Jungkook and Mingyu on the story.
He’s out with Mirae. He’s not looking at her camera though, both him and Mingyu busy on his phone showing each other something.
But she’s sitting opposite him, it’s practically a date.
Jungkook’s on a date with Mirae, the girl who clearly had a huge crush on him, you concluded.
Great, great fucking great.
You sigh, closing your eyes as tears escape the corners of your eyes.
-
The next time you wake up, your vision is slightly groggy, as you sit up and rub your eyes, stretching.
The smell of noodles waft into your nose, shit, did you leave the stove on or something?
As you walk out of the room, you halt in your steps.
You recognise the man who has his back faced towards you, cooking in your kitchen, in your apartment.
It’s Jungkook.
“___?” Jungkook calls out, tilting to try to see if you were standing in the hallway.
You quickly run back into the room, shutting the door behind you and climbing back into bed.
What was he doing here?
You should have never given him the password to your apartment.
Your heart is beating wildly in your chest. You can’t fucking hide from him anymore because he’s in your house, why must he play with your heart so much?
When the door to your room creaks open, you quickly duck below your blanket, in a pathetic attempt to make it seem as if you were sleeping.
“___, come on, I heard you in the hallway,” You hear Jungkook’s voice, slightly muffled from you hiding under the covers. You hear him set something down, the smell of noodles stronger than before.
He doesn’t let the small flowers placed on your desk go unnoticed. You kept the flowers he gave you.
Even though it’s childish, you refuse to answer him.
Jungkook pulls down the blanket to reveal your messy hair, the back of your head facing him. You attempt to pull the blanket back up but he’s too strong.
“Come on, don’t be mad at me,” Jungkook tries to convince you to come out of the blanket, but you stubbornly refuse.
He reaches out to card his fingers through your messy hair, but you move away from his touch, whining when his fingers get stuck halfway through a knot.
“Oww,” You’re whining, clutching the area as Jungkook shushes you.
“At least sit up, I’ll help you get rid of it,” He’s really trying everything to get you to talk to him, he will sit here and keep trying forever until you give in.
“No,” Your voice wobbles, eyes watering with frustration. Why was he here, you’re going to get your heart shattered into a million pieces all over again.
“Why’re you being so difficult, hmm?” Jungkook sighs, sitting back and leaving you to curl up into a ball.
“Go away,” You tried to sound angry, but with the tears slowly running down your cheeks, there’s a sob that comes uncontrollably right after.
“Hey, why are you crying?” Jungkook’s face is now full of concern, he manages to untangle you from the blankets, as you struggle against his hold.
“Shh, it’s okay, don’t push me away, my body still hurts from that day,”
Jungkook has your head buried into his chest, you want to punch him, but when he reminds you of that day, when you had gently patched him up, you don’t dare to struggle against him anymore.
You can feel his hand rubbing up and down against your back as you clutch onto his shirt. You can smell his cologne, the one the both of you had picked when you went on a school vacation.
“If you don’t wanna tell me what’s wrong right now that’s okay, just let me take care of you ‘kay?”
You weakly nod, mentally cursing at yourself for foolishly giving up fighting against him.
Jungkook pulls you out of his lap, settling you in between the pillows on your bed and pulling the blanket to cover your body as you sit, waiting for his next move.
He grabs the bowl of noodles placed on your bedside table, picking up a few strands with the chopsticks and blowing on it gently.
Jungkook brings the chopsticks near your mouth, but you keep your mouth shut, refusing to give in to him again.
“I know you didn’t eat dinner, quickly eat now or else you’d have acid reflux like the last time,” You cringe internally remembering how you were hunched over the toilet crying, as he held your hair back, shushing your sobs.
You comply in the end, opening your mouth and letting Jungkook feed you.
“Good girl,” He whispers, using his thumb to swipe away the drop of soup at the corner of your mouth.
Fuck, he’s making you go crazy. Good girl? Does he want you to go insane?
You gulp down the noodles, looking up at him as you make eye contact. Jungkook scans your face, wiping the tear threatening to fall further down your cheek.
“Don’t cry already, come on, let’s put on the show while you eat,”
He reaches for the remote on the other side of the bed, his body hovering over yours for a few seconds before he’s back next to you, eyes trained onto the TV and switching to the mentioned show.
You both watch the show as he slowly feeds you the noodles. You want to tell him it tastes amazing, that you want to kiss him for pampering you despite having treated him so coldly before. You simply just let yourself be taken care of by Jungkook, already anticipating getting your heart broken again when he leaves.
When you finish the bowl of noodles, Jungkook slots himself next to you under the covers, pulling you so that your head was now resting against his chest, both of you watching the show playing on the TV in front of your bed.
You aren’t sure if Jungkook can hear your heart going crazy in your chest but you sure can.
You shouldn’t be doing this, you shouldn’t be cuddling with your best friend who clearly doesn’t like you.
“Jungkook?”
“Yeah?” He looks down at you, pausing the show.
“Is this what friends do?”
Jungkook frowns at you, leaning back to look at you properly.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, maybe we shouldn’t be cuddling and all this, we clearly aren’t a couple or anything, and you don’t like me like that, so we shouldn’t-“
Before you can continue, Jungkook’s lips are crashing down on you.
What?
He pulls back, looking straight into your eyes,
“Jungkook, what are you doing?” Your eyes are widened, you haven’t even fully processed what just happened
“Why did you say that? Who said I didn’t like you?” He frowns at you, as if he did not just kiss you in the midst of you talking
Now you’re even more confused, “Don’t lie to me Kook, you don’t have to pretend that you like me just because I do,”
You curse under your breath for letting the last part slip out.
“I’m serious ___, why would you think I don’t?” Jungkook’s shocked, firstly at you admitting you like him back, but more importantly, the fact that you had the audacity to even believe he wasn’t crazy for you.
“I heard you talking to someone and you told them you didn’t like me,”
Jungkook sighs, grabbing your hands in his, “____, of course I wouldn’t tell Yongjae that, I barely know him,”
You slip your hands out of his,
“I think you like Mirae,” You scoff at him
“What?” He’s genuinely confused, the name not being familiar to him
You whip out your phone, showing him the instagram story, your heart clenches a little when you see the photo.
“Oh so that’s her name, why the fuck would she take a photo of me,” He grumbles, grabbing your phone from your hand and screenshotting the story and saving it into your camera roll
“___ I swear I didn’t even know her until today, Mingyu asked me to go out with him and apparently they followed along, I swear I didn’t even know her fucking name, do you know her? Why would she take a picture of me without asking? She was really weird with me you know,”
The whole time he’s rambling on and on, everything was beginning to piece together.
“___, I fucking love you so much, I only said that to Yongjae because I knew he would be a big mouth and tell everyone, and I obviously didn’t want you to find out that way, and I don’t like Mirae at all, in fact, all she did was make me fucking uncomfortable with her horrible flirting skills, I love you, please ____,” Jungkook grabs your hands again, searching your face for a reply.
“Prove it to me then, I’ll give you a chance to show me that you really do love me,” You’re trying your best to hold back from simply just confessing back to him, yet it seemed too good to be true that Jungkook, your best friend, liked you back the same
“I will,” Jungkook nods, but his heart aches internally, he truly did love you so much, it hurt him to know you were hesitating so much
“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook whispers, his face inches away from yours,
“Okay” You whisper back, leaning to lock your lips with his
Maybe everything would turn out okay
jungkook: don’t sleep too late okay? love you ❤️
Just as you closed the front door of your apartment and bid goodbye to Jungkook, of course he had sent you a text immediately.
You find yourself smiling unconsciously at the text, before quickly replying:
you: okay, see you tomorrow :)
Your phone lights up again,
jungkook: i love you
jungkook: you didn’t reply my first ‘love you’ ☹️
You laugh to yourself, replying
you: okay fine, i love you too ❤️
you: so eager to profess your love? 😏
Jungkook immediately types back, he’s standing outside your front door still, hearing your muffled laughter from behind the door.
jungkook: of course, go and sleep, i can see your light is still on
jungkook: don’t miss me too much 😏
You look through the peephole, seeing Jungkook’s tall frame leaning against your door, his hair taking up most of the view from the hole.
you: okay goodnight, stop standing outside my door and go home before it’s too late
You hear Jungkook laugh from outside, before his footsteps begin to get softer as he walks away.
-
“___, I saw Jungkook leave your apartment last night, what were you doing?” The familiar voice rings from behind you as your arm is being held back.
“Junghyeon, leave me alone, it’s none of your business anymore,” You shake your arm out of his grasp, walking faster towards the entrance of the school, wanting to quickly head home before anything happens
Your ex boyfriend ignores your words, continuing to grab your arm and pull you back from walking further.
You wince from how hard he had tugged your arm, struggling as you pull against his grasp.
“Let go of me,” You grit through your teeth, desperately trying to escape.
“Try and escape, you won’t, you’re too fucking weak and your pretty little boy won’t come here and save you,” He seethes, breath blowing onto your face as you scrunch your face in disgust.
“I’m not telling you shit, you don’t need to dig into my business Junghyeon,” You spit at him, but he only tightens his grip on your arm, making you whimper in pain.
“No! You tell me what the fuck you were doing with him so late at night!” He bangs the locker near you, making you flinch at the loud noise.
“What the fuck are you doing, get your hands off of her,” There’s a very angry voice that rings through the air, as Junghyeon’s grasp on your arm gets released.
It’s Jungkook.
“Fuck off, don’t fucking touch her like that,” Jungkook growls at the man, holding his fist in the air as he grabs Junghyeon’s shirt.
“Who are you to tell me that? YOU should be the one fucking off, she’s probably fucking around with other guys like the slut she is-“
BAAM.
Jungkook punches him in the face, sending Junghyeon flying to the ground, as students start to gather in the hallways, gasping and whispering amongst themselves.
You quickly take Jungkook by the arm, attempting to drag him away from Junghyeon who’s clutching his jaw, wincing in pain on the floor.
“Jungkook, leave him, it’s okay already,” You’re slowly pulling him away as students gather around Junghyeon on the floor.
Jungkook’s panting heavily, you don’t recognise the look in his eyes as he lets himself get dragged away by you, but his eyes don’t leave Junghyeon who’s muttering something as he locks eyes with Jungkook.
“Wait baby, I need to teach that fucker a lesson,” Jungkook mutters under his breath, he reaches back to your arm to gently pull it away, but with the bruise forming on your arm from earlier, you whimper when he touches the hurt area.
Jungkook whips around with concern the moment he hears you wince, flinching from his touch as you hold onto your arm,
“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry, let me see it,” He gently takes your arm, as you let him inspect the bruise, it was turning purple already, as he frowns.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to beat him up some more, he deserves it, how dare he touch my girlfriend like that,” Jungkook rambles on as he looks back at Junghyeon, who’s getting up from the floor and walking away.
“Kook, no more punching people, you’re going to get into trouble with the discipline mistress already,” You sigh, letting him inspect your bruise closer as he rubs his thumb lightly over it, eyes widening in concern as you wince even with the slightest touch.
Jungkook complies with your words, he would do anything to prove to you he truly did love you, no matter how bad he wanted to punch Junghyeon again.
That day, you wait for Jungkook who’s currently in detention for acting out. He has tried to reason with the discipline mistress but she had given him no leeway. Instead, you decided to wait in the library until your boyfriend was done with his detention, focusing on doing your work as you wait.
On the other hand, Jungkook was making love letters throughout his detention, the discipline mistress sighing every time she checked up on him and Junghyeon who were sitting at opposite ends in the class.
“Jungkook-ah, you had the right intention for wanting to stand up for ___, but you should know violence is never the answer, no matter how much you like the person,”
He frowns at the discipline mistress’ words, “I’m sorry Ma’am, I promise I won’t punch anyone, but I don’t just like her, I love her,” He sighs, writing more words into the pink paper he had folded into hearts.
She can only sigh at the love sick Jungkook, Junghyeon glaring right at him from the other end of the class.
-
“Oh! You gave me a shock!” You gasp quietly as Jungkook slides into the chair next to you, you check your phone, noticing it had already been 6pm long ago, meaning Jungkook was done with his detention for quite a long time.
“Why didn’t you answer my texts?” Jungkook gestures to your phone, as you notice the notifications from him:
jungkook: im done with my detention
jungkook: i learnt my lesson i promise 🙃 which part of the library are you at?
“Oh sorry Koo, I was so focused on my work I didn’t notice,” You sweep a strand of hair covering his eyes.
“I searched high and low for you, I cleared out two whole floors of the library before I found you here,” He groans, sulking into the seat.
You laugh quietly, finding it endearing.
Jungkook was really making his way to your heart.
“Oh! I have this for you I made while waiting,” He reaches into his jacket pocket and fishes out the pink paper folded into a heart shape, placing it into your hands.
“Oh? You did this in detention?” You smile at him, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
He was being fucking cute, writing you a love letter while being in detention, you wanted to kiss him right there and then.
“Yeah, missed you and thought about you so much, now quickly open it,” He gestures for you to unfold the paper, as you comply
You read the small handwriting squished together to fit into the small piece of paper:
____, I’m writing this in detention as I was told to reflect on my actions so I thought I should write this to you to show you how much I love you ❤️ When you began to act cold towards me that day, my heart shattered into a million pieces, I wanted to just wrap you up and protect you from whoever was hurting you. I didn’t know that you had thought it was me who didn’t like you more than a friend, it hurt me to see you cry and push me away like that. I just love you so fucking much, I want you to believe my words, because you mean the world to me, no matter how we would have ended up if I had confessed to you earlier, or if you had confessed to me first, or if we never got jealous of each other, I would love you nevertheless.
You’re giggling to yourself as you finish reading the letter, folding it back and keeping it in your pocket.
“Yah! Don’t laugh at my love confession,” Jungkook pouts dramatically, whining softly as he sulks into the chair next to you
“I’m laughing because I find it cute baby, do you want your kiss or not?” You giggle as he lights up, sitting up quickly and kissing you.
You happily kiss him back, you put your arms around his neck as he deepens the kiss. Jungkook is on cloud nine.
Not before you both get interrupted by another student who’s sitting opposite you, clearing his throat.
You quickly pack up your stuff and you and Jungkook head out of the library, not wanting to get caught again.
-
The next day, you’re in the canteen sitting with your friends, as you make eye contact with Jungkook, who now proudly proclaims as your boyfriend. He sends you a quick smile before turning back to Mingyu who’s talking.
You look down as your phone lits up,
boyfriend ❤️: like my new contact name?
You gasp, whipping your head up at Jungkook who’s smiling at you mischeviously, you quickly reply back:
you: yah! when did you do that!!!!
you: its cute though, miss you already
You shut off your phone before your friends catch you.
The phone next to you lits up again,
boyfriend ❤️: come here and kiss me then
You roll your eyes at him, going back to your conversation with your friends.
The next thing you know, Yeji stops talking as she nods behind you, telling you to turn around.
“Hi baby,” Jungkook’s smiling down at you as he leans down to peck your lips.
The whole table gasps, making the rest of the canteen turn their heads to see what was going on
“Kook!” You slap his chest, burying your face into your hands in embarrassment.
“He was looking, had to show him who’s the boss,” Jungkook whispers into your ear as he smirks at you, you tsk at his expression
He laughs at you, ruffling your hair before running back to his table.
“Oh my gosh, why didn’t you tell me?” Yeji shakes your hand in hers, your friends obviously taken aback by the current situation.
“It happened recently, I swear I was going to tell you,” You groan, trying to keep their reactions down so that people will stop staring your way.
-
“Baby, you want this?” Jungkook gestures towards the huge stuffed toy puppy hanging from the booth
“Are you sure you can get that? It’s pretty hard y’know,” You laugh, nudging your boyfriend playfully in the chest.
“Hey! I’m an expert at carnival games okay? Let me show you,” He passes the booth owner money, receiving three balls to throw into the moving buckets.
You watch as Jungkook perfectly gets all three balls into the buckets, as you jump excitedly next to him,
“OHMYGOSH!!!!” You’re squealing as you shake your boyfriend, who’s amused by your reaction, letting himself get shaken by you.
“Told you I could do it,” Jungkook proudly hands you the giant stuffed puppy, as you kiss him on the cheek as a thank you gesture.
“Urgh, maybe I shouldn’t have won that,” Jungkook groans, sulking into the sofa in your bedroom
“Why? It’s so cute and soft, it looks like you baby,” You giggle, hugging the huge stuffed toy tighter
“Firstly, that puppy doesn’t look like me, secondly, it’s quite literally stealing you away from me,” You watch as he whines, sinking further into the sofa.
“Okay, okay fine, now I’ll pay attention to my sulky puppy,” You tease him, walking over to the sofa and cupping his face into your hands.
Jungkook stares up at you, he’s admiring your pretty face, he could stare at you all day.
“Paw,”
“Huh?”
“Give me paw, puppy,” You giggle as you have your hand out expectantly, waiting for him to obey your command.
“Yah! What has the soft toy done to you!” He tackles you, tickling your sides as you burst out into laughter, pleading with him to stop.
Jungkook pays no heed to your pleas, he continues to manhandle you so that you’re now laying on the sofa, and he’s caging you above, preventing you from escaping his attacks.
It takes him a lot of pleading from you to stop, by the time he does stop the both of you are laughing, Jungkook plopping on top of you as you bask in happiness.
You’d love him nevertheless.
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virgo-barbie · 9 months
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bimbo starter kit ✨💖
it can take a while for a bimbo to feel comfortable with cosmetic procedures, or even just to secure the necessary finances to take the next step in her journey! here are a list of things you can start on right away while you figure out the rest.
1. exercise! a bimbo's body is her best weapon. try to aim for a couple times a week at least. if you don't like running, try pilates, yoga, dance, anything. it's just important that you feel connected to your body in some way.
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2. spray tans! for me, this really amps up my sex appeal. my skin has a golden hue that a spray tan really brings out. if i don't have time to go get professionally tanned biweekly, i'll use a tanning mousse instead. it gives a similar effect, but the spray tan is a bit more realistic.
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3. manicure and pedicure! what is a bimbo without her claws? i personally love having acrylic nails. i don't have them right now because i can't have acrylics when i go in for my breast augmentation, but i almost always do otherwise. i like barbie pink or long white claws. both are very feminine and look great wrapped around the base of a cock or squeezing a beautiful boobie! having your toes done is also important - nobody wants to suck on and lick mangled feet, and you need to be prepared to be worshipped at any point in time.
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4.new clothes! i literally threw everything out and started fresh with a wardrobe of basics. 5 pairs of tiny short shorts, about 20 basic tops in pink, white, and black. I am working my way up towards more exciting statement pieces and building up my shoe and purse collection, but this all takes time. In the meantime, you need clothes that look good on your body and show off your best assets. after my breast augmentation, i will be getting a bunch of new clothes from brands like skims, alo, for love & lemons, etc. for my more bimboish pieces, i kind of just shop around, but i think it's important to have a ton of basic pieces so you can create endless outfits. the mini skirts, fur coats and heels can come later - once you have things to wear them with that make you look super stylish and more importantly... show off your body.
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5. get your hair done professionally! most bimbos like to be blonde (myself included) and unless you're already blonde to start with, i see absolutely no reason you should do this at home. save up some money and find a hair stylist in your town who specializes in blonde hair. you won't regret it, and there's nothing bimbo about having crusty, fried hair. if you're not certain if blonde is the best route for you (it probably is), ask a stylist! pink also looks adorable on bimbos with a more cutesy y2k style. a good haircut with some face framing layers can also completely change your whole look.
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6. whiten your teeth! invest in a whitening foam and tray, or just use strips. i've had a similar effect with both.
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7. get good with fake eyelashes! they elevate any makeup look from fresh to sexy. once you've had lip filler, lip gloss and lipstick will also become your new best friend.
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8. silly little accessories! may i suggest a pink lollipop or bubblegum? this will help keep the attention on your perfect little mouth all day and will also give you something cute to distract yourself with while you fantasize about being used out in public.
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s6lars · 5 months
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⋆ ˚。⋆ 📂 pedri crashes an interview…
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slightly suggestive, a little pedri x reporter!reader moment. inspired by this moment between iker casillas and his then gf after spain won the world cup. let's pretend barca wins the cl. enjoy!
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"Can we get one more player to interview?"
Your producer's voice rings through the earpiece, prompting you to push it deeper to hear better.
The thunderous roars from the humongous crowd bleeds through the tunnels of Wembley Stadium, still persisting hours after the full-time whistle blew the moment Barcelona became champions of Europe.
"Come again?" you reply.
"One more player. Get them in front of the mic."
Jules Koundé and Fermin Lopéz had stopped by for an interview earlier, but clearly that wasn't enough for your producer or the show. Standing on your tiptoes, you scan the busy yet lively atmosphere of the tunnels — crowded, upbeat, slightly cramped, and filled with a persistent tone of chatter from the tens of reporters present.
It doesn’t look like any new players would emerge from the dressing rooms, at least not for a while. You were just about to inform your producer about it when you see your boyfriend walking into the room, nudging his way through the crowd.
Pedri González in all his glory, sporting the signature blue and red kit, beads of sweat in his hair and the rosey blush splayed across his face. The calls of reporters grew as they tried to get his attention, but once his honey brown eyes met yours, it was only you who he was drawn to.
He makes the proud walk to your booth, the shiny Champions League medal dangling on his neck, gleaming under the lights. Pedri's smile grows with every step, happily ignoring the twenty or so other reporters calling his name.
"Hey baby," Pedri coos, hands naturally wrapping around your figure. Your body tenses for a moment at the PDA — it doesn't go unnoticed by him, swiftly releasing you from his embrace.
Although your relationship had been long public by now, this the first time your worlds have crossed professionally (ironic, given that you were a sports reporter, and Pedri was an athlete). There were several conversations about this and it usually ended the same way — as long as there was a camera pointed in your direction, there could be no signs that you were a couple.
"You're working right now?" Pedri asks. You nod in response.
"I need you for an interview. It won't be long, I promise." You signal at your cameraman to prepare the interview, turning back to Pedri.
"I wouldn't mind either way." There's that smile again, the smile that only draws one out of you as well. "Hey, I didn't see you during the celebrations earlier.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I had to get ready for this,” you recall, taking off as soon as the Blaugranas lifted the trophy. It pained your heart to not run up to Pedri and jump into his arms, instead, you ran the other way to touch up your makeup underground.
“But hey, we can take pictures later. When it’s less crowded. And a lot quieter.”
“I can think of several things we can do where it’s less crowded. Dunno about quiet, though,” Pedri teases, low enough so only you could hear.
No amount of Patrick Ta blush could replicate the growing heat painted on your cheeks. You shove him playfully, watching as he bites the inside of his cheek to stifle a laugh.
Pedri looks devilishly handsome tonight — he always does, but something about his boosted confidence from the win only amplified it. His tongue darts out to lave over his bottom lip, taking it between his teeth as he drinks in your figure.
Were the tunnels always this hot?
“Guys,” your cameraman calls, signaling for you to get ready. You shake off all the unholy thoughts in your mind reserved for the comfort of Pedri’s hotel room later that night, fix your hair, and bring the mic up to your chest.
One, two, three, your cameraman mouths, and you’re live on air to millions.
“Welcome back to Wembley! Most of the players are still celebrating by now, but I’m joined by Pedri here.” The camera pans, now fitting you both into the frame.
“Is there anything you’d like to say?” You hope the sound system doesn’t catch the unusual giddiness in your voice as you address him.
“What is there to say? What should I tell you that you already don’t know?” Pedri’s eyes don’t leave yours for a second, completely disregarding the lens, speaking like you’re the only person in the room.
“Well, tell us how you feel,” you respond through giggles, instinctively taking a step closer to him.
“You’ve caught me in a true moment of happiness, not just from me, but from the rest of the club. It’s been a season full of ups and downs and we truly feel like we’ve deserved for it to end this way,” Pedri explains.
“… and I just want to thank all the people that have supported me throughout all this. My parents, my brother…”
Pedri’s voice breaks as he reaches the end of his sentence, his finger reaching up to swipe any stray tears spilling onto his cheeks. You wanted nothing more than to drop the microphone and pull his head into the crook of your neck, but you stood your ground.
Watching the love of your life speak so highly of his loved ones, pouring his heart out with the world watching, it’s why you fell in love with him in the first place. And you feel like it’s happening all over again.
“It’s fine, we can just talk about other things for now…” You try to diffuse the situation, watching as Pedri regains composure in front of you.
“No,” he suddenly blurts, waving his finger.
“No?” you barely manage to squeak out before Pedri leans in — and he’s kissing you.
One arm around your shoulders and his free hand gripping your chin, Pedri moulds his lips against yours. All sense of professionalism had evaporated from your body, drunk on the way he tasted.
He pulls away before you could kiss back, landing one last sneaky peck on your forehead before making a run for it. “I’m leaving! See you later!” he says in between giggles.
You watch him disappear into the stairwell when the sound of applause fills your ears, and you only then realize what position you’re in — putting on a show for the crowd of reports.
“My my, Pedri. What a man he is.”
A voice rings through your earpiece. You also put on a show for the crowd of millions at home.
Your face is heated once more, your words tripping over themselves as you try to think of a closing statement. Part of you wants to scold Pedri and teach him a lesson for messing with you at work — the other wants him to kiss you senseless again, letting the world know you belong to each other.
“When Pedri comes back to Spain, tell him I want to give him a kiss as well!”
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austinbutlerslovers · 7 months
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Major Gale Fantasy
(He Racks You Down and Knocks You Up)
The poll on this was so close! 172 votes
The winner 53.5 Sweet and Gentle 💖
VS. 46.5 Hard and Commanding ❤️‍🔥
Thank you for all the votes enjoy!
Major Gale (Austin) is obsessed with the thought of getting you pregnant before he leaves to war. After envisioning you pregnant with his child he goes through great lengths to ensure you conceive.
Label 18+ mature
Established relationship married
Domestic fluff then straight to breeding kink
Smut• fluff • domestic •edging • mutual stimulation •in heat •breeding kink •p in v •mating press •multiple orgasms • cream pie • aftercare
I have no idea what they did in the 40s or how they really speak 😊 just go with it it’s cute
Inspiration: Austin butler looking so seductive in that uniform
(Historically Inaccurate spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, repeat words etc)
Master List
He Racks You Down & Knocks You Up
You were putting the finishing touches on your dish a beautiful roast chicken with vegetables. The cherry pie was warming in the oven Gale would be home any minute. You briskly walk to the wash room and click on the lights. Your makeup kit readily available near the wash basin. You reach in and pull out your favorite rouge lip stick marking up your lips and dabbing some on your cheeks.
You coif up your hair staring at yourself in the mirror and run a hand down your dress blowing a kiss like a pin up girl, you look ravishing.
Even more risqué was the idea to wear a fastener corset under your form fitting dress tonight putting your décolleté on full display.
Your legs were caged by thigh straps holding up your stockings and satin panties covering your derrière rubbing deliciously against your heat.
Gale said to get yourself a treat, and now it’s a treat for him too. He would be deploying after all and you wanted to give him an experience he would never forget to write home about.
At that thought you hear his key in the front door and hurry back into the living room to greet him. He turns the knob and steps in slipping the key into his pocket as his tall frame ducks into the door way. He removes his officers hat and hangs it on the entry way rack.
His handsome features always stun you at first glance. His big blue eyes and wispy lashes, his perfectly angular nose, firm chin and plump lips. He is an absolute dream especially in uniform. His suitcase in one hand and jacket draped on the other, he finally locks eyes with you and your heart flutters. He is slack jawed in return admiring how perfectly pretty you look in this moment.
“Well well well let me get a good look at you doll, do a little spin for me” his deep rich voice breaking the silence as his eyes admire your form.
You twirl around on your toes smiling as you trace your hands along your bodice enjoying the corset hidden beneath. You blush once your eyes meet, he has a seduced look on his face. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, let me settle my things and come appreciate you.” he flashes his flirtatious grin.
He hangs his coat and sets his suit case by the door he struggles to unbutton the top neck of his military shirt but you are right there to assist him lifting on your tiptoes brushing up against him and easily prying the button open with your smaller fingers.
The closeness makes you swoon for each other. He stares into your eyes before taking a peek down at your breasts resting against his chest, a naughty smirk plays across his face. You place your hands delicately on the nape of his neck and trace your fingers lightly over his sensitive skin there giving him goosebumps.
He looks back into your eyes as you stare up at him seductively through your lashes, his breathing increases as passion begins to cloud his thoughts “Gosh I’ve missed you” he nearly whispers it staring at your sultry red lips going directly in for the kiss. Your lips meet passionately and he scoops you into his arms lifting you from the floor.
Feeling his strength and the smell of his cologne arouses you completely. You are overtaken by his presence feeling so safe in his strong arms. You kiss across his lips as he holds you up to his chest. He begins rubbing his soft plush lips back against yours the sexual tension stifling you both. He slowly sets you back to the ground holding fast to your waist with every intention of taking you to the bedroom and having his way with you.
His lips are the beautiful rouge color that you imprinted on him. “Oh my” you say covering your mouth with one hand “What is it darling?“ he asks holding you to him by your waist brushing his hand across your cheek. He’s mesmerized by you, the way he’s staring into your eyes makes your heart skip a beat.
“I..I.. have gotten my lipstick all over you…let me clean you up and come! I’ve made a wonderful supper for you” you pipe up as you regain your thoughts, so proud of yourself for making one of his favorite meals.
He takes your hand and you lead him to the dining room table. He sits in his designated seat at the head taking the time to unlace his shoes and remove his socks setting them in the corner. You arrange his plate and set his dinner in front of him. It is a beautiful display of herb roasted chicken breast, mashed russet potatoes layered in gravy and sautéed green peas.
As his eyes settle in delight on the meal you prepared for him you slip away to the liquor cabinet fetching his favorite brandy. You pour it in one of the set glasses on the shelf and bring it to place next to him on the table. You grab a cloth from the kitchen drawer and soak it in the sink coming back to dab the lipstick off his lips and wipe his hands clean. He smiles at you appreciatively.
You both begin to eat. He cuts into the delicate chicken and takes a bite. His eyes close and he nods enjoying the taste, opening his eyes looking to you admiringly to show his approval. You gush knowing just how much he loves your home cooked meals after a long day on base.
You really can’t focus on your meal watching him eat. As a fully grown man he still looks so adorable as he chews. He’s slender yet toned and you love to see him full it melts your heart. You begin to eat in small bites, enjoying each others company and the meal.
You finish first with your smaller portions and he clears his plate soon after. You collect the dishes and rinse them in the sink
Feeling sated he completely unbuttons his shirt taking it off and hanging it over the back of his chair. Now in a white undershirt and tan military slacks, he rests back holding his glass of brandy slowly sipping it down watching you work.
You fidget with the oven turning it off and opening the door. The smell of the hot pie wafting through the kitchen. You grab your mits removing the pie from the oven and placing it on the stove top. You blow a strand of loose hair falling in your face the heat from the oven making you perspire slightly. You are in an odd state today feeling so sensual wearing the expensive lingerie.
Gale is set back watching the whole thing you bent over your breasts spilling out of your dress. The flash of the back of your thighs to him when your dress lifts as you reach into the oven.
He suddenly has a vision of you mixing pancake batter in the kitchen. You’re wearing a satin gown hair pinned up loosely in a bun your belly big and round growing with his child. His heart skips a beat as you whisk the mixture placing your hand on your hip to support your back. He imagines himself standing behind you planting a kiss on your head inhaling your scent and gently squeezing his hands around your breasts which will soon be full with milk.
He delicately places his hands down around the front of you to embrace your womb. Once he touches it an intensity fires in him of pure unyielding love for you. It infatuates him so strongly he is unable to keep his hands away from your pregnant belly. He begins passionately kissing behind your ear and down your neck completely obsessed with you having his child.
He was so deep in his thought he didn’t notice you trying to get his attention until you sweetly asked him again “Is everything alright?”
He palms himself under the table his cock growing stiff with anticipation of fulfilling his desires. He smiles at you nodding reassuringly taking another big swig of his brandy and setting his empty glass down.
He then pushes away from the table in his chair setting his sights on you and spreading his legs wordlessly patting his lap for you to sit. You notice the change in his gaze, how his pupils have dilated, how his eyes are fixated on you. It’s such a sultry look you don’t know what’s gotten into him.
You approach his lap and try to sit pretty with your legs together but he grabs hold of your waist pulling you to straddle him. It makes your heart flutter from the abrupt closeness. He looks into your eyes with a coy smile wondering if you can feel his rock hard erection pressing against you yet.
Taking his left hand he softly runs it across the nape of your neck moving your hair over one shoulder, trailing his hand down your spine. He begins unbuttoning your dress with both hands looking you directly in the eyes, each pop of a button making the excitement of having you naked increases.
He unbuttons your dress down to your waist and slowly pulls it from your shoulders to reveal your chest. His eyes lock on the delicate lace covering your décolleté. He pulls your dress farther and his mouth falls open in delight at your breasts in lingerie on full display for him. “All this for me?” He asks staring intently at your chest he caresses the soft fabric covering your nipples “Yes of course” you answer your voice soft from arousal.
He tweaks your nipples making them stiff then gently squeezes them with his fingers he looks up to gauge your reaction. It makes you part your lips wanting to cry out, you clench inside involuntarily pressing your heat against his stiff cock. He has a smile on his face sensing exactly what you need. He begins grinding his hips up gently rocking his massive erection against you. It’s so naughty and good at the same time a high moan escapes your lips as you double over onto him wanting more.
He grabs ahold of you by your arms pressing you down on him and grinding against you harder. He’s so strong and resolute with his actions it has you breathlessly panting and dizzy for him building an ache inside you that needs relief.
Seeing your face flush as your breathing increases he pulls you to him and plants kisses along your exposed neck and jaw line. The smell of you is devine to him he reaches and grabs the base of your neck tilting your head back farther to kiss his open mouth along your throat, It makes you close your eyes and grind back onto him the feeling so good building between your legs you don’t want him to stop.
He pulls back his lips from your neck and stares into your eyes as you grind each other fully clothed completely drunk in love “I want to fill you up tonight” he says kissing your lips and you taste the brandy “ I want to satisfy you completely” he kisses your neck again. Then he places his hand on your stomach “I want my baby growing inside of you” his voice almost a hush full of so much contained passion.
You grab onto the back of his neck pressing your forehead to his and closing your eyes “Yes…Gale please fill me and get me pregnant tonight ” your voice shakes with anticipation. The way he’s making you feel between your legs has your mind reeling as you grind against him with your panties absolutely soaked.
Hearing your words he slowly picks you up from his lap and gently places you to stand in front of him. He rises from the chair and removes his shirt then unbuttons and unzips his pants before unbuckling his belt. As he releases the leather his pants fall to the floor and the buckle clatters. You stare in awe at his massive erection strained back against his woven boxers shorts.
“Finish showing me that lingerie doll “ his deep voice breaks the silence redirecting your thoughts. He sits back into his chair spreading his legs and placing a hand on his cock to watch you. He wants to thoroughly enjoy the surprise you have for him.
You turn your back to him and peer over your shoulder. His eyes are completely fixated on you as you slide the dress down from your shoulders to the floor bending over to show him your black silk panties as you deliberately step out of it. You turn around to face him and he sits back in awe of your beautiful body.
The black silk bra and panties with the corset elaborate your curves, accentuating your hips and chest in the most delicious way. You begin swaying your hips and tracing your hands over your body as if they are his own giving him a show of how badly you need him.
He stands up from his seat and slides his boxers down stepping out of them his large cock slinging as he walks toward you. Your knees buckle a little as you hold the table behind you bracing yourself in anticipation.
He reaches for your corset and begins quickly unsnapping the clasps rocking your body as he looses each one. The corset breaks free and falls to the floor. He easily picks you up by your waist and sets you down on the dinner table.
Your legs are wide open and he eagerly moves himself to stand between them. He grabs you by your hips pulling you flush against him kissing you passionately parting your lips with his tongue his cock caged between your navels. Hes trying to go slow but his mind is racing with the thought of feeling your tightness squeeze around him as he’s pumping you full of his seed.
He refocuses on your pleasure placing his hands on the sides of your breast softly rubbing into your silk brassiere pressing your nipples up and down with his thumbs . A moan escapes you into his mouth everything he’s doing sending pleasurable sensations where you need to be touched the most. You begin winding your hips in small circles on the table to relieve the tension.
He senses your need as the heat is now emitting from your body your eyes pleading him for more. He takes a step back noticing his empty liquor glass behind you on the table and takes it safely to the sink.
As he returns to stand between your legs he places his hands behind your head lovingly holding your gaze. “I would do anything for you” he says softly his heart swelling wanting to make you his forever, the vision of you pregnant with his child burning in his mind. “I’m going to push you over the edge tonight I want to spill my seed into you and I want you to take it all for me”
You stare at him drunk from arousal your heart is pounding so hard you feel the strongest pulses in your pelvis you'll to do anything to make him tear your lingerie off and take you now.
“I want to hear you say it “ he says noticing you are not able to focus on his words.
You regain some composure to respond
“I will take it all tonight every drop you give me” you loosely repeat his words too distracted now staring at his perfectly chiseled naked body down to his large veiny erect cock wondering how good it will feel when he fills you up for the first time instead of pulling out.
“I’ll give you what you need “ he says with a coy smile knowing you’re not paying attention anymore. He’s never seen you so riled up, it warms him seeing you want his baby so badly it’s giving you a fever.
He places his hand on your chest pushing you down to lay flat on the table. He grabs your thighs and slides you down to him your heat directly against his cock your legs on either side of his waist. Your breathing quickens and your heart skips you need him inside of you he has you exposed in the perfect position on the table like you are his meal.
He brushes his hand against your silk panties admiringly not wanting to remove them just yet. His touch there alone makes you feel like he’s set a fire all over your body.
He reaches his fingers between your legs hooking your panties rubbing his knuckles against your slick folds. Your back arcs from the table as you restrain yourself from grinding against his fingers so aroused and needing to be touched so badly you begin panting loudly unable to calm down.
He knows you need him now and quickly pulls your panties to the side. His cock is pulsing hard as he rests it on your wet entrance, it’s covered in a silky liquid so he rubs his tip up through it and groans as you moan not thinking it would feel so good. He looks down into your eyes now needing you too, he lines himself up and slowly pushes inside your tight entrance.
You both cry out in a pleasurable moan his cock guiding in perfectly your walls greedily sucking him in. He penetrates you inch by inch making you gasp as the stretch becomes wider.
He gently caresses your pelvis making you feel the pressure of how far he’s gotten inside. You are impossibly more wet as his cock is going in.
He stares down at you in admiration when you finally take his full length. He stays still inside you for a moment letting you adjust. You feel so full of him, the pleasure coursing through your entire body as you try to focus gazing up at him.
He begins to work you gently, sliding himself halfway out and fully back in. His cock becoming completely covered in your slick making you feel every sensation as he begins gliding in and out it’s already earning the sweetest moans out of you.
You close your eyes as he begins rocking into your body against the table each thrust making your heart want to explode. Your continuous moans are music to his ears he stares at the reaction on your pretty face while you take him the perfect mix of pleasure and pain.
He has a drive to impregnate you tonight that he’s never had before. He wants to paint your walls inside and make you cry out for him before he finishes. It makes him high at the thought.
He releases his hands from your waist and hoists your legs up holding onto the back of your thighs spreading you like a “V” he pushes slowly into you on the table the new angle he’s hitting makes you delirious with pleasure he has you in a mating press and it sparks something deep inside you that tightens your core making it feel like it will snap at any moment.
Hes going so much deeper using your legs as leverage, he wants to feel you all the way through he presses his length the farthest and touches his cock head against the deepest part inside you making you moan out incredibly loud for him. He loves that feeling and thrusts into it repeatedly wanting his strongest and deepest ejaculation there.
You begin to feel hotter against his throbbing cock he keeps rocking you back and forth on his length jostling you on the table. He’s working into you with so much virility youre seeing stars. You are so overwhelmed with passion you can’t even think straight each hit pressing the exact button inside to cause a riot in your core. He pauses at the end of his deepest thrusts feeling like he will split you, your body tenses your voice in your ears sounding so foreign as you moan in an unending rhythm, the tightness building inside your core finally snaps.
A relief washes over you as your back arcs from the table your walls flutter tightly around him as liquids pour from your core squishing around his cock as you scream for him. It makes him start sliding into you at breeding speed. He thrusts into you deeper and harder your legs bouncing around at each strong jolt. His abs tighten as he is sucks in breaths through his teeth.
He presses your legs back farther grunting and angling his cock pressing his deepest inside you it pushes him over the edge “Im going to cum so deep in you …take it …all for me” he says through clenched teeth he pushes forward all the way into you and spills thick ropes of hot cum deep inside you painting your walls. He leans forward between your legs heavily breathing from exertion, laying on top of you and propping up lightly on his elbows he holds your face as he continues to empty every last drop inside to get you pregnant. His final thrust hits so deep you squeeze his cock with your walls a second time and moan for him almost crying at how good it makes you feel. You stare at each other panting and sweating you both start spontaneously laughing deliriously high with a sudden surge of endorphins.
As you calm down he stays completely still inside of you laying on top. Propped on his elbows he holds your head lovingly. He pets your hair back and stares into your beautiful eyes “I think we did it” he says suddenly as if the thought was ruminating in his mind . You smile at him “I’ve never felt anything like that” you admit gently stroking his sweaty hair from his face in return. He leans in and kisses your chest just at your heart, he loves you completely. He puts his ear on your chest listening for your heart beat to slow down so he can pull out saftey. When your breathing and heart rate decrease he lifts his chest off on yours.
“Are you ready?” He asks adjusting himself to pull out of you “yes” you say completely void of thought only how wonderful you feel. He holds your upper thighs and slides his cock out slowly when he pulls out the head you both moan from the loss of contact. Slowly you feel his seed trickling out of you. His eyes grow wide and he uses his fingers to push it back inside you. You lift your head to see as he pushes more back in and cups his hand to hold it. “put your legs up” he says quickly thinking. You put your legs up and hold them to your chest.
“How long?” You ask giggling this whole concept so foreign to you “I don’t know but until it takes” he laughs at how absurd he sounds. He grabs a wash cloth and rinses his hands. He turns to check on you and doesn’t like the way you are curled up on the table you look so uncomfortable.
He comes to your side and scoops you into his arms he easily carries you to the bedroom and kicks the door open walking you to the bed and laying you down. It’s so much softer and comfortable for you. He pets your head “ that’s much better “ he says seeing your face relax. He runs to get a washcloth and soaks it with water.
When he returns your still with your knees up. He kneels on the bed in front of you “You can put your knees down now you’ve been so good for me” he says gently as he caresses your thighs. He doesn’t see any more cum spill out of you so he starts undressing you. He uses his hands to slide your panties off with your stockings and fasters. As you lower your legs down he pats and wipes you carefully. He climbs on top of you reaching around your back and unclasping your bra you sit up and pull it off discarding it at the foot of the bed with your panties. He stares at you now fully naked glowing so radiantly from sex. He pulls the covers down behind you and you lift up to pull the covers back over you both as he lays beside you. He kisses your temple staring at the side of you face deep in thought about how much he loves you. He places his and on your stomach thinking about how much he wants his baby growing there, you place your hand on top of his
“honey?” He asks shyly a new thought popping into his head “ yes ” you answer sweetly “I …want to keep those panties with me when I deploy” he divulges.
You blush thinking of what he wants to do with them “Alright I’ll do them with the laundry then the day before you deploy I’ll wear them all day and slip them in your pocket when I kiss you goodbye.” He smiles so big and squeezes you to him. “ I would like that” he says whispering in your ear and kissing it. “And Gale” you ask “yes?” He answers intrigued “I want to write you when I find out if I’m pregnant…” you turn and look into his love filled eyes he wants that more than anything. You kiss his forehead and he tilts your face lower to him and kisses your lips. You reach over his head and click the light off you both rest your eyes and he keeps his hand on your stomach the entire night as you sleep.
~*To Be Continued*~
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