#or they (me) dont idk

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff #but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me #its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university #but some ppl dont even get that chance #maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick #but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw #📼

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[decapod-appreciator]

might be heaven and it might be hell

#idk. dont ask me any quastions #dunmeshi #my art #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #falin touden #marcille donato #…. #farcille #blood tw #tw blood #death tw #tw death #delicious in dungeon

[nousanti]

Lately I did wonder if you did it all to make you feel desired, for love to replace your shame.

#mithrun #mithrun dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #idk how much this drawing gives away but just in case I guess #hi im still cryign about mithrun #yeah its been over a month yeas #more tamino lyrics also DONT BE MAD AT ME #dugneon meshi fanart

[crows-home]

part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.

ID by @peachygos

[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.

The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"

The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]

#nimona #nimona movie #my art #i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands #idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then #'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.' #im not an outwardly emotional person

[forecast0ctopus]

yo i think my doctor got in a fistfight

#dude my doctor keeps trash talking guys that are bigger than him #dont ask me whats going on w any of this idk i just wanted to draw shoes #star trek #star trek tos fanart #star trek tos #star trek fanart #leonard mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #bones mccoy #doctor mccoy

[daydreamerwonderkid]

I know WFA is too OOC for some people, but I need that shit right now.

I do love seeing the Batfam beating the shit out of each other. I like how messy their relationships are and I have always loved flawed characters.

But idk, man, Batman #138 just really crossed a line for me and I need a reminder that there are other depictions of Bruce that aren't so fucking heinous.

I'll take this shit:

Over this shit:

Any. Fucking. Day.

#wfa #wayne family adventures #gotham war #gotham war spoilers #bruce wayne #jason todd #dc comics #batman comics #batman 138 #im not saying wfa is better #all im saying is that gotham war's bruce is a LOT right now #and idk how to cope with that #dreamer queue #updated post with better quality scans of panels #guys I'm not saying wfa is better than gw or any other batman canon #pls stop messaging me that you dont like wfa #it's fine if you dont like wfa #all i was trying to say was that wfa bruce may be ooc but he's kinder to jason #than gw bruce is being right now #that was it #that's the post #calm down

[lunian]

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#KING #oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooo- #mystuff #hades #hades 2 #hades ii #hades spoilers #i guess i wont see Ares in this vid.......... pls dont tell me he is not there #or he is uhhhh has other role idk i didnt see Hermes or Dio too

[thatgothsamurai]

#idk man with this lil energy remaining thats veryvery close to artblock i choose to boopie #dont mind me #anyway #boop #!!!! #no art today just boopie!!! #nandskarth

[stil-lindigo]

HELP PALESTINIAN ARCHITECT EVACUATE HER FAMILY FROM GAZA

This is a verified fundraiser for a family of four to evacuate to Cairo. The fund's creator, Amal Abu Shammala, reached out to me personally to share this since she's failed to get her fund on Operation Olive Branch and Let's Talk Palestine's fundraising linktree.

As of right now, she has raised €2,397/ €42,000. You can see the breakdown of what the money will be used for in the fund description.

Please give generously!

#ive talked to amal myself and can vouch for her #she was so understanding about me having to verify her story first #its so bullshit how people have used the tragedy of a genocide to masquerade as palestinians in need #perhaps its selfish for me to personally advocate for only a few families in need when so many people require help #but i feel like the way i stay sane is to just. focus on one family at a time #im gonna try to do another fundraising event (?) soon idk how successful it'll be #i just dont have enough money man #palestine #free palestine #free gaza #donations #gaza #rafah #khan younis

[pbnmj]

(not) your guy in the chair

#milesganke #miles morales #ganke lee #my art #atsv #atsv spoilers #across the spiderverse #into the spiderverse #spiderman #spider-man #me vs pichelli's style and i lost HARD. but its ok. milesganke in every universe <3 #idk how to feel about these cause they dont look like they flow into each other #but we move on. i need to do work thats not spiderman fanart...

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[comradekatara]

it's national draw your sibling day

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #katara #sokka #katara&sokka #art #mart #oldergaang #portraitgaang #i like to think they get less antagonistic once theyre in their twenties #i also firmly believe w every fibre of my soul that sokka improves his art #(and im coming for anyone who says otherwise in the comments of this post with hammers. jsyk) #also drawing w charcoal is way easier than ink painting. so maybe he realizes that too #also apologies if i butchered the spelling of katara's name i was just working w the wiki but . if its bad u can say its intentional #bc sokka is stupid or whatever idk 😭 #anyway. this ACTUALLY started bc i was thinking about how we never actually see katara draw #but i just KNOW that she would have the most anime art style #dont ask me how i know these things ok i just do #so this whole thing was just an excuse to showcase that . lmao #i worked so hard on this tho. pls clap

[owlpellet]

doctors are so fucking funny; if you go in like "based on my extensive research and corroborations i think i have this Disease" they will immediately go on the defensive and ask you demeaning shit like "how do you even know this Disease exists?" but if you go in and play stupid and say "gee whiz i'm just a silly little bimbo who doesn't know a thing but i have symptom, symptom, symptom, and symptom" they will very eagerly be like "oh wow, that sounds like Disease!"

#true story btw my old doc asked me how i even knew about EDS #idk dude maybe having Symptoms and an internet connection and a few friends with it who keep saying #'dude i think you have EDS' #like okay even if i dont i obviously have SOME connective tissue disorder #if you dont think it's that don't just put me down

[forecast0ctopus]

these guys am i right

#sorryhaving a tos moment rn #oops! #star trek #star trek tos #spock #captain kirk #leonard mccoy #james t kirk #jim kirk #mr spock #dont try to talk to me abt the other series i dont know shit about them #i saw the reboot movie like when it came out i dont remember anything except a handful of visuals #star trek fanart #i have like two other color variations idk maybe ill put em on my ko-fi

[sylvies-chen]

I think there’s something so deeply and intimately and morbidly true about The Last of Us’s primary thesis which is that humanity’s fatal flaw, in that very Shakespearian way, is that we are destined to care too much about one another so much so that we discard the collective entirely. like we have such a capacity to love the human race and humanity as a whole, to grow our communities and govern cities how we know best and foster such connection with the masses which we are part of, but it’s overtaken by our capacity to love even just a single other person. like one human can come into your life that creates such an intrinsic and passionate love in you— or maybe two people or a family’s worth or any small number— and you suddenly would burn entire villages down just to keep them safe.

joel doesn’t blink twice murdering to find ellie. he doesn’t look back when he decides to do what he does at the hospital later on. he has no remorse about any of it it, because this one girl has grown to mean more to him than any possible greater good could ever mean. and it’s reciprocal. ellie would— and does— do anything she can to help him, save him, protect him, and, eventually, to avenge him. because that’s what you do when you love someone. not when you love people. when you love someone.

and it’s selfish, in a way??? because we love these people and would do so much for them because they mean more to us than other strangers do. it’s exactly like an iteration of the trolley problem, actually. one track has your daughter on it and one track has fifty people. don’t even try telling me you wouldn’t go onto track B if it meant saving your daughter and her puppy dog eyes from the whimpering and pain and fear. The Last of Us says yes, you would. I would. we all would. and like yeah that is our greatest weakness, that we have such a unique ability to love a handful of people so deeply that our compassion towards community and strangers and the bigger collective starts to slip from view. but goddamn what a fucking great fatal flaw it is to have. we are all going to die and the world will burn because we loved another person too much.

#i wrote a poem about this #idk if i should post it bc i dont want to risk someone stealing it #but yeah… this concept has me really thinking #the last of us #the last of us hbo #hbo the last of us #tlou hbo #hbo tlou #tlou #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie