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autumnslance · 2 years

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Prompt #20: Anon

((Revised on Ao3))

She was still quite young when Ran’jit took her from her small room and her nanny, leading her down, down, down into the depths, to where through parts of the stone walls she could hear the susurant ebb and flow of the tide against the isle, and then even that was hushed as they went deeper still.

“You shall remain here,” he said in his deep, gravelly voice. She thought he was trying not to sound unkind, yet she trembled at the firmness in his tone. “I will return anon.”

The door closed behind her, and the lock clunked into place with a finality even a child understood.

She explored the little apartment; there was a small side alcove with a curtained bed, only enough room left over for a nightstand to the side and a small wardrobe at the foot of the bed. The main part of the chamber held a desk and a low bookcase; mostly educational fare, some picture books and even novels. There were a few toys; a couple of dolls and a tea service. The sorts of things Nanny’s tales said the noble girls had in their rooms.

The chronometer high on the wall ticked relentlessly, silvery little bells chiming for every hour that passed. Food was sent into the chamber through a little slot low in the door. A fine meal; meats, fresh vegetables, warm bread, and a fruity dessert, along with a glass of chilled milk. It did not taste good through her sniffling.

The little bells on the chronometer tinkled a much later hour than she had ever sat up before.

Another tiny alcove held the commode, a sink, and a tub with a shower head. She washed herself and eventually crawled into bed.

On waking she took care of herself again. Breakfast came through the slot once more, the previous night’s tray taken away. She found a few basic cleaning supplies in a cabinet in the bathing alcove and tidied up, then set to reading. She played with some of the toys. She read some more. She ate when food was put in the slot.

Her tutor came every other day, with a study schedule and more books, but hesitated to answer her teary questions, beyond “the General says you’ll be safe here.”

Ran’jit did not return for a full sennight. “I shall return anon,” he said again, when he left after only a half bell.

It was never predictable; sometimes a few days, sometimes weeks, a handful of times a whole moon. She knew he was busy. She knew now “anon” meant “later.”

—

This dashing hero who had pulled her from her cell and fought off that sin eater now looked like a tired, disheveled man who winced when he moved his left arm a certain way. Thancred bade her keep her cloak up as they meandered into the dusty little town.

They had not stopped since escaping Eulmore, moving by either amaro or their own feet, for nearly twenty bells now. She had known that even if it was all that was left of the world, Norvrandt was still large, but she had not been aware of just how big the outside could be.

They shuffled into the inn, Thancred haggling the price of a room with the old mord who kept the place. Once they finally settled, he took the key and led the way upstairs.

The room was tiny; barely large enough for the two cots and single dresser within, but it was clean and the shutters on the single window kept the Light out. He looked around. “There’s a washstand; go on and clean up a bit, I shall return anon.”

Her heart clenched at the words as he left, the door closing behind him. The lock clicked.

In the depths of the prison he had sworn he was not going anywhere—but that was then, with guards and a sin eater upon them. Now?

There was naught in this room but the beds, the stand, and the water basin. She sighed; she did need to clean. She took her time, feeling better as some of the dust and grime sluiced away.

Eventually the lock clicked again, and there was a careful knock on the door. “Is it all right to come in?” Thancred asked.

She blinked, then quickly made sure she was presentable. “Yes!” she called back.

He stepped inside, smiling wearily, tightly, and bringing food, juice, clean water, and what looked to be a fresh first aid kit. “Had to do some quick shopping, but thought you could use the time. And we still have a long way to go, after a bit of sleep.”

“You came back,” she whispered.

His brows knit together as he frowned. “Of course I did; I told you, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll keep you safe—I’m sure as hells not letting you go back there.”

She nodded, and left it at that.

Over time and their travels across Norvrandt, Thancred taught her the other meaning of “anon” was “soon.”

#FFXIVwrite2022 #Final Fantasy XIV #Lyn Writing #Shadowbringers #Ran'jit #Thancred Waters #Oracle of Light #Ryne Waters

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tarotchariotpickyourcard · 1 year

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PAC: Your unnecessary self doubts

PAC: YOUR UNNECESSARY SELF DOUBT

Hello, I’m back again after a big rest (rest? Focus on material aspects of life? It’s been busy).

Ironically, during Mercury retrograde, I was thinking I should get back on the reading wagon and get out there.

Happy birthday aquarius people, also.

Wasn’t sure what to do straight away, but I saw this idea of mine from a while back and thought, hey, we often doubt ourselves far too much. It can really hurt us in life, and get in the way of what others might think are simple acts or decisions. If you struggle with doubt, worry, or decision making, I see you.

So there we go, we’ll see what the cards want to say. This could be how we expect, or not at all.

We have 3 groups here, and I would like you to breathe deeply a couple times. Try and make sure things are fairly quiet for a minute. You can choose one of these lip balm pots from anything. It could be a favourite flavour, or colour, or a word, or number. You could ask your guides, angels, deities. Do your thing, yo.

From left to right: group 1 - salted caramel. Group 2 - chocolate truffle. Group 3- strawberry sprinkles.

GROUP 1: SALTED CARAMEL

I wonder if you’re detail oriented or observant people here, because I picked the item up and inspected it.

So your self doubts… We have the star, 7 of cups, and 7 of pentacles.

You know, the two sevens here remind me of something I read once. It regarded true love. I wonder, if this comes to mind for me now, does this mean you doubt your ability to obtain, or keep true love in your life?

I also got a sense of slowness. This could be regarding my point above, or general worries that you are slow as a learner, in terms of development, or in work. With this, this could literally be doubts that you would be able to take action on a dream or idea of yours. (I know, cliche, right? They all talk about following a big dream). The fact is, 7 of cups here is allllll about creativity and ideas, but I got the thought block that creativity is bursting out of the seams of you. You have all the ideas, bay-beeeee.

Things happen in their own time, yo. Just like how creative you can be, the universe can be just the same in how it allows life to unfold. Things work, they don’t work, they bring you to something unexpected, they remind you oh yeah I don’t actually want that yeah nevermi-.

You know what I mean?

Now, we have Dress of Alchemy - Release your power.

I see a lot of insecurity bottled up inside, and I feel a lot of pent up anger actually. I feel the need to protect people, or nature. You have ideas no one could ever take on as their own, because it was born from your own unique feelings and experience.

If you fear anyone would take your idea, or think it up before you, I want you to know, the way you would execute it would be so different from what they would ever do, You have value, inherently.

You know those stories, where someone is put down time and time again, and they win or succeed despite it? Ironically, those things are what made the story so much more intriguing and inspiring.

If someone just got up and did something and everyone clapped for them immediately, all the time, straight away with no problem, it wouldn’t be something so… full of depth and connection for others.

I just keep getting the idea of, hard time in life, put downs, but this is your special story, and your special contribution.

Ps. do you cry when angry?

You don’t think you work hard enough? Have you seen what you’ve had to traverse through, pal?

Angel of time - working too hard.

With 7 of pentacles, this is too perfect.

I feel like there’s some unnecessary self doubt surrounding this because you appear to take a lot on, or think over many different things or have multiple priorities in mind. So when you think you’re being slow, in reality, you’re using a lot of brain power and generally completing many things long term.

Pps. you probably need a break. You deserve rest. With the power card, I wonder if you need to express the word “no” to others a bit more.

YOUR time, YOUR pace, YOUR journey.

It’s special, I know it sounds weird, but we need it. We need to see it, and you. I feel like it helps people to see something, about life, about themselves. You don’t have to air your life out, or blog, or anything, it’s about people who connect with you, every day. Any day.

Everything is going to happen at the perfect time for you. There is nothing wrong with you, everything is right with you. In the most cliché ending I can muster: Trust in the universe. Trust the timing. I can guarantee you won’t be disappointed. Trust yourself, too, and your development pace, both personally and professionally.

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GROUP 2: CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE

I got the energy here firstly while I picked the cards of “that’s it. I’m not going to ask for more and more, or go over it. That’s it.”. Perhaps this means there’s an emphasis here of needing to, or learning to, leave things be, not worrying as much when something is done.

So we have 2 of wands, ace of wands, 4 of cups, and the tower. How interesting. I got the thought about worrying about mixing things up.

2 of wands can be about decisions, ace of wands is taking action definitively and in a passionate, direct way. But 4 of cups here talks about disinterest, and I got the word denial. Do you deny yourself your passions? Projects, hobbies, job or study opportunities? The tower is like saying “I shouldn’t, I’ll only mess it up.” or these cards saying “why would this employer or whoever be interested in me anyway”.

You should do the thing anyway! Stuff gets messed up in all sorts of quirky ways, the world is a ball in space and us humans have literally made society up out of our imaginations. Crazier stuff could happen, so what the hey!

Don’t allow yourself to feel unhappy or bored for a minute longer if there’s something you know could help it.

There’s also a branch meaning here as well of finding it hard to choose between options because what's the point if it doesn’t work out. The point is you get out there and develop in a new way, whether short lived or not. You’re here to live, my amigo.

If you’re worried about disaster, the real disaster would be not giving yourself a chance. Don’t shoot yourself down before you’ve even made a decision. Or before anyone even has the chance to.

Sea beacon fairy - Guidance: but where will it lead you?

You-wha-what did I just SAY?! Just do the things! You might be right, you might be wrong, sometimes you’ve just gotta see. I feel like your guide wants to like, SHAKE you, this is hilarious to me.

The point isn’t to be RIGHT. It’s to experience, and your guides or those in spirit you connect to, want to assure you right here, that they will assist in making things the most pleasing it can be.

And if something does ever go pear shaped, what’s that friends reference? “PIVOT!” ?

Then we’ve got the three witchy sisters - The power of three.

Are you worried something bad would happen again? Or that you would make an ill fitting decision after having one happen before? You must trust yourself. Give yourself the chance, to prove to yourself, that you can make a good one. And if you feel you didn’t go for something you should have, perhaps there can be another chance. Let yourself have this chance, what ever it is for you. Study related, relationship related, work related, anything.

Don’t hold yourself back. You can trust you, and spirit has your back too. If things move and shake, let them, and take the next moment.

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GROUP 3: STRAWBERRY SPRINKLES

Do you worry about having fun, or if you’re fun enough? I just suddenly felt a little joy.

I feel a bit clearer with this group than the others, so I wonder if you’ve been trying to actively raise your confidence lately. I also find myself shuffling the cards quite harshly, so there’s a lot of energy and force here. This might mean something such as feeling the need to put their all in things to prove themselves, or you’re the type of person that really cares about what they do.

You can’t leave things alone, can you lol. I didn’t get a card for a bit and felt more forceful about getting it to happen. I feel like you’re being advised already to be more easy going.

Accident prone gang here?

2 of cups, queen of pentacles, and 7 of wands.

This makes me think of connections, but also boundaries. The queen reminds me of practical matters such as upkeep of the home, management of money.

This gives me thoughts of partnership, or family/home matters. With my original impression and 2 of cups, it does suggest to me that you worry about being able to make friends or connections as well as if people might like you.

This makes me feel that it’s unnecessary, because I see like… bubble popping. You know when you destress by getting bubble wrap and doing that? It’s like you’re that for other people.

I get the self doubts regarding keeping things in order. Being pragmatic. Maybe you also worry that you’re not strong enough, or that you might be seen as a pushover. However, with the queen of pentacles I really feel that this is your energy. Someone who is more firm, but still helpful and still there for others.

I get the sense of feeling tired or dizzy. Are there worries regarding health or the maintenance of a condition?

There are people you can count on, it appears, if this is the case.

Mildew fairy - clean up time

Fairy of the divine hand - intoxication, distorted view, overindulgence

There may be a couple here who literally have struggled with intoxication. Addictions and so on, and there may be self doubt here about your ability to get clean of whatever it is, to begin, or to keep clean.

There is reassurance here, that you have seen more of yourself much clearly. No, you are not ruined. You are your own unique individual with your own quirks of life. Much like a cat that has a missing piece of its ear, you become aware that they have fought. And that is it - a history.

For others, this might literally be about being able to keep your home clean, or your body clean health wise. Perhaps there is anxiety about health in general. This could be like still asking for a 3rd examination, after being told something is fine.

For any of these scenarios here, you guys are doing better than you think you are, and a lot of it is due to the fact you have more self awareness than you think. I believe you are especially hard on yourselves. You are holding yourselves to higher standards than before, and for that, I see pride regarding you from spirit.

You are doing better than you think, and you CAN do better than you think.

Faceless ghosts and the haunted girl - ghost people.

You worry something will come back and take over? You have grown too much.

Even if the person, thing or situation does try and return, know you can refuse it. You can handle a situation or concern much better, and with far more education.

I feel you guys have opened your eyes so much.

There are some here that may have mediumship skills also, because the boundary point I made can connect to protecting yourself spiritually. There are many techniques you can use such as cleansing your home, using an energetic shield of white light, calling on archangel Michael to protect you, and much more.

I can't help but think you might be wondering, is there something you're missing, what am I not seeing. But I think you guys know everything you need to. Please try not to get paranoid. You're doing great.

I feel like this is a very “know thyself” group. Trying to ensure they don’t make a mistake again, or that they manage things more wisely. You have support, it might not seem like it for some of you, but there are 1 or more out there who think kindly of you. You have a lot going on inside that brain of yours, let yourself step out of it a minute and experience life. Take the walk, enjoy a healthy meal, listen to music you connect with. SMELL THE FLOWERS. Something like that.

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Ok thanks bye hope it made sense.

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