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youn9racha · 2 years

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Requested by: @9900z

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: smut, hints of darkness, angst

synopsis: After a year of taunting and humiliation from the ever so loving boyfriend of yours, you decided to break it off with him and slowly start to forget about him... Until he comes back asking for forgiveness.

warning: jealousy, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), overstimulation, degradations(whore, slut, dumb...), dubcon(?), piv, mentions of a past toxic relationship, mind break (both sides; mainly reader), hair pulling, cunnilingus, brief breeding kink, choking, angsty but happy ending, aftercare

words: 5.1k

a/n: uhh hi.. it has been a while since i finally put up a fic,, kind of feels overwhelming to be back even though I've been absent for around two months, but I'm back. I don't think my writing has changed much, especially since i forgot how to write smut after not doing so for a few months 💔💔 shout out to @lix-ables and @spilledtee for helping me out and putting me back in my feet ! also i hope you enjoyed this piece. ik its been a long wait but I hope i fulfilled what you asked for 🙏i changed up the plot as well i hope you don't mind that too.

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. And if you are under 18 years of age, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT. Readers discretion is advised.

You saw his beautiful face once again. His eyes captured yours as he sat across from you, almost as if he was examining you from afar waiting for whatever was next. He was what you would consider your, affection reeks every time we would be in contact, but soon his dark side has revealed its ugly truth. His pretty face was there but his gentle touches and words slowly transitioned into a sudden venomous rupture of words. Questions arose within you as he continued to show his sadistic colors; “was I in the wrong? Did I do something to trigger him? Do I even love him anymore?” And many more came and go, leaving it unanswered in the meantime. But after the tumultuous and tiring years of you two bickering and the feelings of resentment started to grow in my stomach, you opted to pack up and just leave him. You thought his toxicity was getting out of hand, you could still hear him yell out as you leave,

“You’ll regret this! You need me!”

To hell with you, you would say, but silence is often the best option for diffusing this situation. And then you were gone from there, never to see him for a good bit. After many months of questioning yourself, crying, anger, resentment, and an awful amount of drinking, you’ve later seen yourself starting to improve on yourself, especially with the help of the small yet great friend circle you are in. So much so, that you have even ventured off into the whole dating world once again. Tinder, Bumble, Her, you name it, you’ve tried them all, and what’s the issue of one going fishing? There would be moments that dates fail, whether it’d be because one has a bad attitude towards the service worker, one’s in it for the sex, or one just generally does not click with you.

Sparing all the details, most of the time it didn’t work out. But how did you end up with Hyunjin right now? You thought you were done with him, and why did you let him into your apartment? Unbeknownst to you, you may have gone on a date with one of his friends, whom you had never met—presumably, they know of each other after you two broke it off—, at one point and they told him about it. Had you known that they know each other’s names at least, you never would have considered going out with them but here you are.

To say when you heard the knock and opened the door, only to see him standing right in front of you made your heart drop would be an understatement. How the hell did he find out where you live?! You wanted to close the door, but you were frozen as you saw his dark brown eyes shoot at your face. You couldn’t detect his facial expression, but his face did not showcase any negative emotions so you’re not as scared… but still, it’s not like you trust him, he could lash out at your face and you wouldn’t be surprised.

“Uh, hey, (y/n) …” he stammered nervously, scratching the back of his neck in nervousness. “Why the hell is he so apprehensive?! I should be the one shitting my pants right now,” you thought to yourself.

“Hyunjin? What are you doing here? How did you find out where I live?” You went on with your questions, keeping your composure calm despite the creepy fact that he found where you live.

He shrugged, his eyes looking left and right before going back at you, “I may or may not have asked a friend whom you’ve may or may not hooked up a while ago…”

‘Wait what? How could this be?’ your mind had irrational thoughts. But then a conclusion came up after your mini inner arguments; this would mean that you have gone on a date with one of his friends, whom you have never met—presumably they know each other after we broke it off—, at one point and they told him about it. ‘God, this is so humiliating, had I known that they know each other’s names at least, I never would have considered going out with them and this encounter would have not happened but here we are.’ So many thoughts ridiculing your every mistake, but it’s not like you could change the past

You sigh as you roll your eyes, finally putting your senses together and crossing your arms, “What do you want?! I thought I said I don’t want to deal with you anymore.” Hyunjin smirked at your response, “I see you’re still as feisty as before, huh?”

One of the many attributes you’ve missed least from him is that disgusting cocky attitude he is exhibiting right now. Just reminiscing on that made you cringe even more than just seeing his face right now. You groaned abhorrently as you almost shut the door at him if it weren’t for him to hold the door from shutting and yelling out a “wait!”

If you had the matching strength like his, you thought, you would have had the door completely shut on his face, but unfortunately, he overpowered you and ended up pushing the door enough to open it but not enough to hurt you, which you hoped it did as you didn’t want to endure any more of this conversation. He only stood there while you maintained your scorned face toward him, not wanting to fall for his games and let him in.

“Look, I know this isn’t the best time, I know it’s weird and creepy that I showed up at your doorstep and I know we had our bad past. I’m not here to reconcile, I just want to talk to you,” He calmly yet sternly spoke as he maintained his eye contact with you. You only looked at him with a blank expression, unsure of what to respond and whether to let him in or not. After the pain he had given you, why should you let him in? But for some reason, you could sense some sort of honesty in his tone and that he genuinely does not want any malice. He lifted his arm, “look if you wanna inspect my pockets, you can, I don’t even carry weapons with me,” he chuckled slightly.

‘Why would he even say that? Even if he was trying to make light of the situation, he only made the air more awkward than it already is.’ He realized after he sees you wince at his bad-taste humor as he sniffed and curled his lips, “Okay, my bad, but seriously, I just want to chat with you, and I won’t even take long. Consider me gone after today.”

You glared at him as you couldn’t take his excuses anymore and decided to open the door more so he could walk in. The dumbest mistake you have ever made. You would think that after many months of healing and putting yourself together you would learn your lesson, but you seemingly did not. “You’ve got ten minutes and I want you out of my life permanently,” you spoke sternly as you walked into your living room as Hyunjin followed you.

Usually, you’d serve up something to eat or drink and wait until the guest sat first, but you’re making an exception as you thought that allowing him into the house was enough in it itself. The grudge you held was getting heavier and Hyunjin can sense it from the tone down to the body language. You sat on the sofa, while he sat in the armchair, far away from you—it’s a good thing he can read the room for once. And then suddenly, there was this awkward silence that deafens the entire room, just the sound of you tapping your foot. You didn’t bother to look at him and just started fidgeting with the accessories in your hand, but you could sense him still looking at you, almost as if he was staring at you. Who the hell does he think he is?!

“If you don’t have anything to say, then you better get out.”

After you spoke, Hyunjin shook his head, like as if he got out of a zoned-out state, “yeah, right sorry, um…” he looked away from you, as if he were trying to find the words. This time you were looking at him, the irked face still painted on you, however, you couldn’t help but just admire his pretty features. His beautiful brown long locks, his plump, pink lips, his defined jaw, alluring eyes, strong arms, his long, slender ringed finger that is worthy to get sucked—God dammit (y/n), get your shit together! This is the man you’re supposed to resent not gawk at.

“Look, I know I hurt you a lot in the process, and truthfully speaking, you never deserved the nasty comments I gave you…” as Hyunjin rambled on, you still wouldn’t buy his words and started to tune out. It’s such a shame that a man with a personality of a trash can can maintain the most attractive attributes. There is no denial that Hyunjin was a good-looking man despite everything, and on top of that, the greatest memory I had of him, other than the actual romantic moments we had, was the sex.

Hyunjin was a dancer, so he sure can use his hips to hit the spots no one can easily hit. Doubled by the talented fingers he has, and the wonderful, warm tongue that is so pleasant but has its venom when used incorrectly, which he, unfortunately, has used in that way for the last chunk of our relationship. Hyunjin had potential, he just had to flush it down the train with his attitude.

“… and while I don’t seek forgiveness, I just wanted to say I’m sorry…(y/n)?” After he noticed that you weren’t saying anything, you could only blink at him. Sure, you may not have heard much of his statement, but you couldn’t be bothered as you started to remember the past once again, reminded of his actions and how it’s way overdue for him to apologize.

“Oh, so you came here to say sorry, after what? Six months after not seeing each other and you expect me to just take your words for it?” you spoke disdainfully, eyes squinting at him in disbelief.

“No, (y/n)— “

“No, save it, Hyunjin! The damage’s been done, and I was hurt badly because of you.” you spat at him as you leaned forward towards him as if you were getting closer to him to make your point straight, “You don’t understand the weight of your words, you would tend to brush them off and call them jokes, but when I called you out on it, what did you do? Call me sensitive. And when I wanted you to do me a favor, you’d never do it, what type of boyfriend would do that?!”

You began spilling everything and you could see Hyunjin cringing, and frustration started to increase the more you speak to him. “I’m done Hyunjin, you’ve given me enough hell,” you sighed before speaking, but Hyunjin only sat in silence, his stance was very ambiguous and hard to read as he continued to stare at me. You could only scoff at the lack of response, “so what? You came here to just stare at me like the idiot you are?!”

The question was rhetoric yet unnecessary, however, he knew where to push the buttons when it came to pissing you off, and it made you more irritated than you already are. Now it was his turn to scowl, but then it started to grow into a menacing smile.

“Oh, so I’m an idiot?”

His tone left nothing but shivers, it was similar to the tone he would make when he’s feeling a little aroused. While it was very undeniably hot, you couldn’t just let your guard down like that, and try to keep yourself together. ‘He’s not yours, (y/n), get it together.’ You looked at him with your brows narrowed, “yes… you very much are.”

He could only chuckle at you as he leaned closer to you, you thought you were capable of moving away but for some reason, you found yourself trapped in your couch incapable of moving. It feels as though you were hypnotized by his visuals and voice at this moment, and you should feel bad, but you couldn’t bother to help yourself. As he got closer to you, he ran his hand across the sides of your face, you almost shuddered at the touch, but you kept yourself together and did not give in instantly. Once again, desperate call calls for desperate measures, anything must be in favor right now since the guards you put up are getting weaker and weaker. “Oh, (y/n), my love… you haven’t changed…”

“Excuse me?”

“You think you’ve moved on, yet I could see right through you,” his wording and tone created this odd juxtaposition of gentleness and ominousness that left me shivering once again, “you’re shaking and shivering right under my touch,” he chuckled once again even more menacingly. He got up and sat next to me, using his hand on my face and thigh to put me in place, silently forcing me to look at him and stay put. ‘Keep it together, (y/n), keep it together…’

His face got closer, and seeing his features up close made you ogle at him once again. You gulped at the closeness, and he pushed your hair away from your face, “and I’ve heard about your failed hookups,”

Fuck…

He let out a breathy laugh as he saw your slightly panicked face. “you’d think I wouldn’t know? I wouldn’t know that there are people, specifically men, who just want to see you naked and doing a terrible job at making you feel good?” There was something very venomous in his tone he started to speak about your past hookups. It is true, that most of your hookups have been lackluster at best, but you did not want him to know this sort of information about yourself. But considering you unknowingly slept with his friend, you should’ve known better than to tell a stranger about your sad sex life.

“I—I—”

“Save it…” He said it with the most condescending tone as if he was mocking you for interrupting him earlier, “let me show you what these men lacked.”

And there, Hyunjin slammed his lips into yours, vigorously and fiery as his usual kisses are. You didn’t know what has gotten into you, you should push him off and just kick him out for daring to do what he is doing, but for some reason, you couldn’t do it. you only could moan and melt into his mouth. At this moment, you genuinely thought that your brain has melted and kicked out all the logic in it—as ironic as it may sound—and it was true in some sense, but the way Hyunjin’s warm lips were caressing your lips felt too pleasant. It may have had a sloppy beginning, but it transitioned into one of passion and sort of possessive as Hyunjin began to be handsy. Through his groans and his lips exploring yours, he began holding you closer to him as his hands roamed around your body as if it were the first time he has touched you.

He pulled away to grab a quick breath before he pulled you to sit on his lap, as he continued to kiss you, but this time his lips went south into your neck. You gasped at the feeling of his teeth grazing your neck, creating a bruise that would fade in at any time, while he began muttering through your skin.

“Just you wait… when one sees this… then they would know…”

His words were incoherent as he was too fucked out and too focused on creating more hickeys, evident by him ripping the buttons of your blouse, exposing your bralette to him—It wasn’t any special bra, especially since you didn’t expect him to show up, let alone be doing this—and threw the blouse somewhere. He began biting the soft skin of one of your breasts, while his large hand was massaging the other through the bra. you threw your head back, moaning at the feeling of his warm mouth licking through the fabric, letting the slickness indirectly touch your nipples. As you tugged onto his hair, he gripped your bralette and ripped them apart, making you gasp at the sudden action, and he proceeded to have his mouth on your nipples, leaving you with nothing but your shorts and panties.

You began writhing under his touch, with you grinding onto his lap and clenching into nothing the more he stimulated your nipples, he pulled away and looked up at your, “bedroom…” he rasped, holding onto your thigh and picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you told him where the room’s located, and when you arrived, he threw you into the bed, leaving you lying there as he begins to strip.

“You listen real good because I’m not gonna repeat myself,” he said, “you’re gonna be a good slut for me, and you’ll do as I say, got it? You had your chance to say all you want, now it’s my turn.”

“That’s rich coming from y—” your words were interrupted abruptly when you felt a tug from your hair, making you moan, and pulled your head closer to his angry yet lustful face, “I said, it’s my turn.”

You only stayed silent, fearing what to do next as he let go of your hair and continued to strip down to his boxers. You looked down and saw the bulge that was painstakingly hidden in his underwear. While it may not be the girthiest of cocks, he had the length and movement to make up for it. He smirked as he held your hair again to look up at his face, “you want my cock this badly?”

You should say no, but when he’s over here, being the way he is, makes it all the difficult. You could only nod at him, while he drags his fore and middle finger around your mouth, “open your mouth… I want to see if you’re worth it.”

He commands and you obeyed, opening your mouth wide enough before wrapping around his two digits. His movements were still but you moved your head and tongue as you slicked up his long slender fingers and shoved them down your throat.

“Eyes on me, you slut.”

Instinctively your eyes met his blown-out pairs, he enjoys seeing you suffer as shown by his evil face, the sadistic smile was prominent at this instant especially when he tripped your gag reflex when he attempted to shove it down more, humiliating me even more than you already are.

“I bet no one has ever shoved a finger down your throat like I did, huh?” The way he spoke was pure filth, you should stand up for yourself, but the wetness and arousal that seemed to increase the moment he utters a word seemed to betray your logic. The question was rhetorical as he wanted to have at me. He pulled his fingers off as he got down and pushed your legs apart with his other hand that wasn’t covered in your saliva, “take them off,” he commanded, regarding your bottoms. You nervously yet swiftly took your shorts and panties, revealing something he hasn’t seen in so long.

“God, I miss that pussy of yours… it’s a shame that other men have seen, touched…” His speech was hushed and slow the more he spoke, and the more he spoke, the closer he got to your pussy, “tasted… inserted themselves in you,” and there he began his feast as his tongue began lapping at the dripping wetness that you were seeping through. Your breath shuddered as his tongue licked up your clit, putting the most attention to the sensitive bud suddenly. ‘This is so bad,’ allowing your no-good ex-boyfriend just to humiliate you and then eat you out like this is really bad, yet the way he is licking and speaking to you in such a tone feels so good to you for some reason. With the added pleasure he added his fingers as his tongue movements began to increase, sucking and licking any slickness coming out of you, moaning at the taste that hits him.

The noises you made turned from breathing heavily to outright mewling and whining at the stretch and pace that came along with pleasure. He pulled his mouth away with a pop to look at you, “bet ya didn’t find anyone who could make you this noisy wet, huh?”

“Just shut up and continue fucking me with your mouth,” you shook your head as you groaned at his cocky commentary.

“Oh, is that so? Fine, as you wish,” Hyunjin said, before continuing to lap at your clit while his fingers moved at a quicker pace. You felt a surge of release coming out the faster he went with his tongue and digits. You were panting out his name as you groaned out when you’ve finally reached your orgasm. However, Hyunjin never stopped his movement and carried on as if you never came. You began squirming and your hips bucking at the overstimulation he was giving you.

“H-Hyunjin… s-stop—” you struggled to speak as he was lapping you to reach for the second orgasm. All he was doing was torturing you, he was moaning and sometimes pulling away to mention how “good you taste for a slut.” His words were a mixture of both degradation and praise, but mainly the former, as he wouldn’t stop humiliating you and calling you names. You felt your second orgasm coming up, but when he pulled his fingers and tongue away, you could only whine at the odd mix of overstimulation and edge, making him perk up his face, but in a good way.

“I made you come once, and you still want more? You are a whore…”

Your lips quivered as you anticipated more movements from him, as shown by the way your legs are spreading more from. Your labia were swollen from the fingering Hyunjin gave you, and that almost made him even more feral at the sight of you being desperate, but he had to maintain the sadism image he is intending to showcase.

He stripped out of his boxers and began stroking his hard cock slightly, making him hiss at the contact. He was purposefully teasing, and you were whining, your hand going down to touch the ache that Hyunjin failed to relieve, only for him to push your hand away. “What makes you think—fuck… you can touch yourself, huh? A whore like you is not allowed to touch themselves…ah” He grunts a bit in his sentence, but it was coherent enough, which made you mildly upset with you pouting.

He held your cheek before gripping your throat and slightly squeezing with his free hand, “your puppy eyes are not gonna help you—ha fuck—mm you still fucked other men hmm—”

His pace in hand was going faster, his tip started to glisten and spew out precum the more he bobbed, while you just laid there, begging for Hyunjin to ravish you, and holding onto his wrist that was wrapped around your throat.

“Hyunjin… please… please fuck me… please fuck me like the whore I am,” you sniffled, “I am nothing but a gross slut who lets other men fuck me… please let me forget about them…”

Your brain has officially been broken just by the sight of Hyunjin and the remanence of the past overstimulation and edging, which is exactly what Hyunjin wanted from you. You have fed his evil plan and he couldn’t be even happier than he already is. He smirked as he slowed his stroke down and let go of your throat, “that’s what I thought… now get on all fours.”

You instantly obliged without saying another word and got on your hands and knees for him. He aligned himself in your opening before shoving it in in an unprecedented way. You yelped at the further stretch that his finger couldn’t reach, while Hyunjin smiled in an impending way and licked his lips before he started to piston himself in and out of you.

Your mewls began to increase volume along with the sound of skin slapping as his hips were touched against your butt cheeks, jiggling each time they get in contact with his pelvis. He would grip harshly on your hips, bruising them in the process with the way he is squeezing and digging his finger in pleasure the more he hits your spot repeatedly and elicit more moans from the both of you. When your head hung low, he pulled your hair, his fingers dipped in your scalp, with the grip harsh enough to grand you slight pain.

“Tell me now… who’s fucking you this good?” He spoke through his blissed-out state, his words flowing with the pace of his thrust. You only moaned as a response, which resulted in him pulling your hair even harsher, “I said, who’s fucking you this good?!”

“You, Hyunjin! You! Fuck!” You yelped at him when he drilled into your hole even rougher than what he initially started, letting go of your hair as he proceeded to thrust into you once he got the answer he wanted. You started to clench around him as you felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm once again, “please, please let me come! You make me feel so good, please!”

You begged, just exactly how Hyunjin liked it. He only chuckled in response as he proceeds to penetrate you even faster, in result making you squirm and breathe heavier, “that’s fucking right come around my cock, bet you never came like that with your other men, huh?” His possessive words could just make you come already, but his movements and use of his dancer’s hips made you come even harder, as shown by how you arched your back and placed your head into the mattress when you’ve reached cloud nine. But once again, Hyunjin didn’t leave you off the hook and stopped.

“I haven’t come yet… don’t you ever think that I’ll stop, I’ll make you come over and over until I come, got it?”

This wasn’t a request, it was a command, and he sure did do as promised, he continues to use you as his sex toy and made you orgasm repeatedly to the point of your brain fully stops functioning—all your head thinks about is Hyunjin and his cock. The truth is Hyunjin purposefully slows down and edges himself to make you come over and over and overstimulates you in the process. However, he has reached your limits, and ultimately his thrusts started to become sloppy, a great indicator that he is getting close.

“God, I’m gonna come inside…you and have it drip out of you—shi—let the other men know who fuck…ed you good—ah!”

It was his turn to have his mind break as he came inside of you with the most powerful orgasm while you matched with your final orgasm for tonight. Once you both bottomed out, you both pulled away from each other and laid next to each other on the bed, catching a breather for the both of you, both of you sweaty and tired.

Once you two came back to reality, you two looked at each other, “you okay?” Hyunjin asked first, still panting, while you looked up at the ceiling, “Yeah… I think…”

Hyunjin looked around and saw a towel laying on your bedroom floor, opting to use it to wipe you down. After doing so, he went up and decided to grab both of you glasses of water. This was honestly a new sight of Hyunjin, how can this be the same man a few minutes ago? You found his gesture sweet and appreciate it, and while the sex was phenomenal and for sure was better than most of your hookups, you still see the same man you saw when you were in a relationship, no matter how nice he was trying to be. Your heart tugged at that thought, but you knew what was best.

Hyunjin walked in with the two glasses and handed you one, which you took from his hand and thanked him, and he sat next to you as you two sat in silence and drank your water. This silence was similar to the silence from when he came in, except this one was less tense than the last one. Hyunjin was first to break the silence, “Look, I know you didn’t expect my appearance, and I promise you I did not come here for” Hyunjin pointed at the two of us, “this to happen. I genuinely came here to simply apologize.”

You only looked down at the glass below you and your finger circled the rim, unsure what to respond, “I know I screwed up big time with you, I wasn’t the greatest boyfriend, and you genuinely did not deserve the way you were treated at the time. I just want you to know that I regret everything I did and that I still love you.”

His confession made you freeze, and he can sense that even though he didn’t look at you, “which is why I’ll not meddle into your life again,” this time Hyunjin turned his head and looked at you with a tight-lipped frown. You looked back confused at his words, “I know my actions earlier sort of contradict what I just said, but I genuinely want the both of us to start over, or at least I start over. “

You were merely surprised and had so much to say but you stayed quiet as to wait for him to finish up his speech, “you’re doing so well, and I was jealous over that,” he sighs and shakes his head, “I don’t blame you for not forgiving me… As I said, I didn’t expect forgiveness, I just want you to know how I feel…”

You nodded at his words, “yeah, I’m not sure if I can actually forgive you…”

“I understand that…”

“But I’ll still support you in your journey to be a better person, I hope you find the closure you deserve, Hyunjin,” you held his hand smiling at him, and he smiled back.

“Thank you, (y/n)… you truly are an angel.”

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fraterfalls · 5 months

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Hi, I'm new to Blood Brothers AU and I was curious about it. Can you explain about it or show me where I can see the best explanation about it?

ohhh, dear asker, the rabbit hole i'm about to send you down... >:)

alright let me try and explain it in the most coherent way possible, it's late at night BUT i will try my best!!!

explanation under the cut!

(in general, if you're new to the bb au like this asker and trying to find your way around this overwhelming hell of an au we've concocted, i recommend you start here :D)

wow. i tried SO HARD to make this a semi-concise explanation and YET it somehow turned into a mini-fic in itself towards the end there. sighhh... (lol even still, have fun reading!)

first thing's first i need to tell you aboutttt

The Parallel World / "Better World".

in journal 3, ford mentions visiting a parallel dimension in which stan never pushed him into the portal, and instead took his journal and hid it as ford had requested.

^ some screenshots to give you the basic gist of what's going on in that dimension, everything you need to know for the time being. you can read more about it on internet archive if you like

at some point in august i reread this part of journal 3 and became obsessed with the idea of a parallel dimension. i also noticed that apart from mentioning how he never pushed ford into the portal and took the journal in this world, parallel stan is just... not really brought up. at all. ...which opens up some interesting possibilities.

as you can probably guess, this dimension features in the blood brothers au! in my interpretation, the reason stan was never mentioned is because after leaving with ford's journal, he never came back, just seemingly disappeared off the planet. parallel ford... has not been handling this well (and a certain bastard triangle only serves to play up his worst fears!), and because he has such a large student body to attend to and take care of and protect, he represses his issues, buries them under layers and layers of work and responsibilities. nobody even knows he has a brother...

not even his nephew and niece, dipper and mabel. however, they're observant as all hell. as secretive as ford is, they see past his little white lies, they see how he doesn't eat properly and falls asleep at his desk and laughs nervously when someone asks if he's alright. (i haven't talked much about the role they play in this au on tumblr, but rest assured i'll be elaborating more on it in my upcoming fic that may come out sometime within... um... the next few months to the next few decades. they're still the same old mystery twins we know and love, except now they've set their sights on figuring out what their grunkle ford is hiding. very Not What He Seems reminiscent)

alright, now that i've mostly covered the parallel world, time to move on to:

The Portal Stan AU

while i was obsessing over the Better World, a parallel dimension/"alternate universe" which already exists in canon, i started thinking about another AU which is fairly popular in the gravity falls fandom: the portal stan AU. in which stan, rather than ford, gets sent into the portal. thought it was a fantastic concept ever since i first saw it, because it opens so many doors for interesting characterization and also some good ol' angst (and later a healing arc, of course). portal stan has, after all, spent 40 or so years without a solid family base or anyone to care for him. and i can imagine that in those 30 years he spent dimension-hopping, his only thought was to return to his home dimension and see ford again. yes, he was furious and frustrated when they had that last argument, but surely in hindsight he saw how paranoid and jittery ford had been throughout their meeting. he would want to get back and make sure his brother was safe as soon as possible.

and then i had the thought which kicked off this entire au:

what if portal stan fucked up and somehow stumbled upon the parallel dimension while searching for a way home? what if portal stan and parallel ford... MET?

portal stan sees parallel ford and his situation and comes to the conclusion that, without him in the way, ford would flourish. parallel ford sees portal stan and comes to the conclusion that no matter the universe, he somehow manages to destroy stan's life just by being in it. even just knowing that the other exists exacerbates their own insecurities. IT'S SO AWFUL AND SO PERFECT.

also, portal stan couldn't be more desperate to get out of the parallel dimension- partly because he hates the reminder that ford would be better off without him, but mostly because he wants to see his real brother again. however, parallel ford has other plans for him. he's been in denial about the true fate of his own brother for a long time now, but he sees this version of stan and decides he can't afford to let go of him. (his own mental state is too fragile to accept the idea of losing stan again, even if this isn't his own stan. he already let go of him once after the WCT fiasco, and again after the journal incident. thrice is... thrice is too much.)

you may also be thinking "hey, smart guy, i actually DID read that screenshot you posted above while explaining the parallel dimension. it said parallel ford and fiddleford constructed a little something called a Vortex Neutralizer which allows for safe, bill-free multiversal travel. couldn't portal stan just use that to get out of there?"

yeaaah, parallel ford doesn't tell him about that!

he will do almost anything to keep stan with him. he is sinking his claws into that man begging him not to leave-

and stan hates him for it. tears into him with insult after insult. he can't stand this ford, why's he acting like he doesn't have everything he could ever want? (except, of course, he doesn't really hate him. after all, this is still stanford pines, maybe not his ford but he's certainly a ford. same old easily excitable nerd he used to tease back in high school. but stan still has his own ford to attend to, one who needs him more than anything... probably... hopefully, so he shuts out the part of him which is growing fond of parallel ford. tells himself not to think too much about this one. he hardly even knows him. he shouldn't have to bother.)

and yeah that's. i think that's enough information to take in in a single post. there's still plenty more going on with the au that i haven't touched on here, but hey that's just the premise! i would link you to more specific posts which will help you further acquaint yourself with the au, but it's. it's 2am and i am incredibly sleepy, so instead i will simply provide you with the link to the blog archive, where you can look at all the posts on here without having to scroll endlessly trying to find specific things. enjoy!!!

if you have any more questions DON'T BE AFRAID TO COME BOTHER ME ABOUT IT !!! i loved answering this ask... <3 been meaning to rewrite a better AU Premise Post than the one i made back in august anyway lol

#asks #lore dump #the premise #<- PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO #parallel ford #parallel stan #parallel mabel #parallel dipper #portal stan #home world ford

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absolutewhore101 · 8 months

Note

Helloooo, I just found your account, saw that you like both Eddie Munson and 5sos, and i’ve had this idea in the back of my mind for a while, and since your requests are open i was wondering if you would maybe love the idea and write it?

Eddie Munson x f!reader inspired by “If you don’t know” by 5sos, happy ending? 🥹

If You Don't Know

A/N: i hope you enjoy! i had to (minorly) alter a few lyrics to fit the fic but other than that, i left it alone!

Pairing: Eddie Munson x ImpliedFem!Reader

Summary: song fic set to 'If You Don't Know' by 5 Seconds of Summer; angst to fluff

Warnings: angst, mentions of weed (but who's surprised)

Word Count: 1.6K

Minors DNI

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie was the first and only boy you’d ever loved. You didn’t even think love was an adequate word for the way you felt about him, but it would do the job until you found the one that was.

You’d started dating in January, and over the summer, you’d become so accustomed to spending every waking moment by his side that you didn’t know what to do when school started.

As luck would have it, the two of you didn’t have a single class together, not even the same lunch period.

Outside of school, it was getting increasingly harder to find time for each other. Between your job and Eddie’s latest campaign, your schedules almost never aligned.

And you were well aware of it.

You talked to Eddie three times in the last week, all of which were short conversations, never about anything meaningful. The time apart was starting to put a strain on your relationship.

Soon, homework was piling up, work was becoming overwhelming, and you were hardly talking to Eddie at all. Sometimes, it felt like you weren’t even together.

You were stressed, overwhelmed, and just plain exhausted.

But then, Eddie called you one Friday night while he was supposed to be at D&D.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby. Campaign got canceled tonight and I know you don’t have work soooo… pizza and movie night?” He asked.

You thought about it. You were in possibly the worst mood you’d ever been in, but the thought of seeing Eddie for the first time in weeks was enough of a pickup for you to say, “fuck yeah. I’ll be there in 10.”

You didn’t bother changing, knowing that your pajama pants and one of Eddie’s t-shirts was exactly what he’d expect you to show up in.

You let yourself into the trailer, immediately seeking out the comfort of your boyfriend, only to find Chrissy Cunningham walking out of his room.

“Oh, hey!” She said, much too happily for your liking.

“Hi… Chrissy.” You said as she walked right past you, straight out the front door. If she hadn’t greeted you, you wouldn’t have been sure that she realized you were there.

You turned around, meeting your boyfriend's apprehensive face.

“Seriously, Eds? Chrissy Cunningham?”

He shook his head. “You and I both know it’s not like that.”

“Do we?” You challenged.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you haven’t seen your girlfriend in almost a month, and when you finally find time for her, she comes over to see another girl leaving your room.”

Eddie was frozen. Did you really believe that? That after being together for so long, you thought he’d do that to you?

“Baby…” he trailed off, not sure what he could say to make you believe him.

“Well?” You asked. “Do you have anything to say about that, or am I walking out of here assuming that you and Chrissy have something going on?”

Eddie’s mind was racing. If I could say the things I want to say, I’d find a way to make you stay, I’d never let you get away.

After nearly a minute of silence, you took a step away from him.

“Eddie, I want you to want me that way, I need you to need me to stay.”

When he still didn’t respond, you turned around, heading for the door.

“I guess it’s the latter, then.” You mumbled, opening the door and softly closing it behind you.

You weren’t angry at him - it wasn’t his fault. You didn’t actually think he had something going on with her, but the stress of the last few weeks was getting to you, and when he didn’t outright deny it, it hurt.

Eddie laid in bed that night, replaying your fight. He thought about all the things he loved about you.

The taste of your skin, the way you looked - you had those eyes - the way you made him feel. He could name every song that made you cry. And when you’d fight, you would scream at him, call him crazy, but no matter how mad you were at him for laughing at you, you’d always press a kiss to his waiting lips. Then his thought drifted to the shirt that constantly hung from your frame, the one you’d been wearing earlier.

Was it gone for good? Is there no tomorrow?

He thought about going after you - about showing up at your door at three in the morning to beg for your forgiveness - but ultimately decided not to.

No, he needed time to plan what he was going to say. He wasn’t always the best at expressing the way he felt, especially when it came to you.

That’s why, the second he woke up the next day, he dialed your number.

“Hello?” You mumbled your greeting, obviously having just woken up.

“Hi, baby.” Eddie said quietly.

“Oh. Hey, Eddie.”

No ‘Eds’? God, he really messed up.

“I just wanted to call you and try to explain what happened last night. With Chrissy and everything…”

You sighed. “Okay.”

“Listen, sweetheart, I need you to understand that nothing is going on between us.”

“Then why was she in your bedroom?” You asked, not accusatory, just genuinely curious.

“She wanted to see my record collection, but that’s beside the point.”

“Besides the point?” You asked, starting to get a little angry. “Eddie, you used that exact pickup line on me!”

Shit.

“Well, yes, I did, but-”

“No buts, Eddie!” You said.

Eddie closed his eyes, trying to figure out how to come back from this.

“Listen to me, Chrissy wasn’t there to see my record collection, she was there because she wanted to buy some weed.”

You were silent.

“You expect me to believe that?” You asked.

“What? Why would I lie about that?” Eddie countered.

“You want me to believe that Miss Perfect herself went to your trailer to ‘buy some weed’? Honestly, Eddie, how stupid do you think I am?”

“I’m serious! Why else would she be there?” Eddie was now getting frustrated. Why didn’t you believe him?

“Because she’s Chrissy Cunningham! I’ve seen the way you look at her, Eddie, the same way everyone looks at her. Like she’s the prettiest fucking girl on the planet.”

“Okay, maybe I used to, but you're out of your mind if you think I still do when I have you. Do you think I was gonna, what, put the moves on her?”

“I don’t know why you’d even bother.”

It was Eddie’s turn to be silent.

“You don’t mean that.” He said quietly.

You were silent.

“No, you know what? Go ahead. Rip my heart out. If you think that’s what love’s all about…”

“No, Eddie-” You started.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

And with that, Eddie placed the phone back on the receiver.

Your hand dropped to your side, still holding your phone, as you moved to rest your forehead on the wall.

Fuck.

—

It had been a week since your fight with Eddie, and it was killing you. You’d never in your life thought those words, so you stunned even yourself when you said them.

Eddie had his campaign Friday night, so first thing Saturday morning, you were pulling up to Eddie’s trailer.

You thought about knocking, but before you could lift your hand, the door swung open.

Eddie stood on the other side, clad in nothing but a pair of black sweatpants as he looked at you. After a few moments of observing each other, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside.

“I’m sorry.” You said. “There’s nothing in the universe that could make me believe what I said and I’ve been beating myself up over it for the last week. Eds, I never should have said that, and I am so, so sorry that I did.”

Eddie just looked at you, in complete disbelief that you thought you were in the wrong here.

“Come on.” He said, leading you down the hallway into his bedroom, gently shutting the door behind the two of you.

You took a seat on his bed, watching as he began to anxiously pace around the room.

“I need to explain what happened, because I never should’ve had another girl in my room without letting you know what was happening beforehand. I just…” he trailed off. Why was it so hard to just tell you how he felt? “God, I don’t know if I can do this.” He mumbled.

You were shocked. Just like that, he couldn’t do this?

“Eddie.” You said, getting his attention. “If you don’t know, then just let me go. I know I fucked up, but if this is too much for you right now, I can go.” You finished, standing up to leave.

“NO!” He yelled, shocking both of you. “Um, sorry. No. No, that’s not what I was saying. God, why am I so bad at this?”

Your quiet giggle was enough to bring him to his senses, and suddenly, he knew exactly what he needed to say.

He took a deep breath.

“Sweetheart, you are the love of my life. There’s never been another girl who can make me feel the way you do. I know what it looked like was happening when Chrissy was here, and I’m sorry that I didn’t explain it very well the first time. Believe it or not, Miss Perfect is a pothead. But! I told her I couldn’t deal to her anymore and I hooked her up with one of my buddies, and I don’t think she even acknowledged that.”

You nodded along.

“I love you more than anything in this world. More than Metallica, more than my chains, hell, more than weed! Okay? It’s only you. It’s only ever been… you.” He finished.

You grabbed his face, pressing your lips to his. Your mouths moved in sync, saying all the things that could never be put into words.

When you pulled back, Eddie’s face was flushed and his lips were slightly swollen.

He was a sight.

“I love you, too, Eds. Please don’t forget that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tell me your thoughts! Thank you for reading :)

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fanfic

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musingsofuttermadness · 1 year

Text

Self-love is a Spectrum

I was always far too sensitive

to sound, sight, touch;

it was all just too much.

The world itself was so

loud and bright,

it triggered my fight or flight

and I always fought.

It was—and still is—exhausting.

Sensory overload was something I experienced

but I didn’t know how to define it.

So I just internalised it,

pushing the panic further and further down,

learning to mask and learn how

to ignore the overwhelm

so I wouldn’t seem so weird.

For years I passed as a gifted, but strange kid

who hid the feelings of too much,

who sifted through the clouds above

that my head kept disappearing into.

Soon I aged out of the gifted label.

My potential faded

and I was left unstable,

with minimal coping skills that could get me through school;

I was drowning in expectations that I couldn’t live up to.

So I did the only thing left to do.

I rebelled in an effort to survive,

becoming disruptive, defiant, defensive;

the three dreaded D’s

of teenage life.

And when it all fell apart and I couldn’t mask it anymore,

my mother took me to a professional.

And for the first time, I felt seen.

I felt heard.

No longer walking a blurred tight rope,

trying not to fall.

ADHD

Attention Deficit (Hyperactive) Disorder.

So much made sense.

I was no longer the broken daughter,

I was just different.

But still, I chose ignorance.

Only years later have I begun to explore

what my adhd and neurodiversity

actually mean.

I was so close to fully accepting myself,

and my brain,

and my mental health,

when it all started happening again.

I’ve been living in sensory overwhelm for the past few months,

looking for routes and back roads so I wouldn’t have to confront

the reality that it’s more than ADHD.

Don’t get me wrong,

my diagnosis still stands,

it’s still a part of who I am,

but there’s more going on inside my mind.

A Spectrum of more to clarify.

ASD to be specific.

Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Autistic:

a word I never thought would apply to me;

an added layer of neurodiversity.

I don’t know how to feel.

I’m oscillating between relieved

and devastated.

If I had known back then that I wasn’t broken,

maybe it wouldn’t have been so frustrating.

Maybe I would have been kinder to little me.

But I know I can’t change the past.

All I can do now is give myself permission to unmask;

and love myself throughout the process.

I know that some days I won’t get it right.

But I’ll give myself space and acknowledge

that forgiveness looks different for everyone.

There is no proven equation,

no one true answer to the, ‘How do I accept myself?” question.

I suppose, in a way, self-love is also a spectrum.

#adhd feels #my adhd #autistic life #autism #autism and adhd #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr #living with adhd #adult adhd #late diagnosed autistic #autism spectrum disorder

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thegamingcatmom · 4 months

Note

Human!Ellie gives off possessive vibes especially being 5’11 😵‍💫 being 5’2 or 5’3 she would just tower over me *looks up* 😊

Oh, you mean...

This isn´t actual footage, obviously. When we say "tower", we mean tower-

Lady Dimitrescu has entered the chat

Anyhow, as a tiny being myself I can very much relate to that. Very much. As a matter of fact, I´ve been feeling rather restless these days, a bit skittish if you will and not just because a certain someone has been staring daggers at me for these past couple of months and well, Momma(s) has had quite the dry spell, it has to be said so I can´t really blame her for wanting (and trying, we´ve been there) to wrap those clawed hands around whatever part to twist and break and mangle-

-only to remember that wingwomen are hard to come by these days, especially if you look like death warmed up, so Maggot Momma´s gotta deal with it (for now) if she ever wants to that smell, my god! again-

*Sighs*

So dramatic.

BUT I DIGRESS, this is all about Momma Ellie and I´m all too happy to deliver - that poor (starved) woman needs some love and attention too!

(Don´t let Maggie know though - poor thing´s still not over the whole bowl-fiasco. That was a close call. Way too close.)

This is my late christmas present to yall. Enjoy! <3

************************************************************************

That escalated quickly.

When you were asked to join the Bixlers on their weekly Game Night this morning you immediately said yes. Of course you did. You´ve been living with Beth and her family for a month now and honestly? You haven´t been this happy, this carefree, in, well, ever?

Well, until Beth came into your life and turned it (and you, literally - you can´t remember much seeing as you were both high af but something about truth or dare - you dared, of course you did, idiot) upside down.

It´s kind of a sad truth and yet you can´t bring yourself to mourn your past and its missed opportunities (again). Not now. Not when it´s brought you here. Right in the middle of this family of asshats goofballs who never fail to make you laugh until the tears drop and you feel like you´re suffocating. Who make you feel like you belong, no questions asked. Like you´re home.

So when Kassie came running up to you, nearly vibrating with excitement, those big eyes staring directly into your soul-

(Well, we all know where she got that from.)

So, family Game Night it is.

What immediately sprung to mind when you heard "Game Night" were things like UNO, Go Fish or, hell, for this family you´d endure a few rounds of Monopoly as well.

So, yknow, normal things.

What you didn´t expect, however, was war playing out right in front of you because-

"You cheated!"

That´s kinda-

"How are you supposed to cheat here??"

Well, Brig does kinda have a point considering-

"The red brick was supposed to go there, like this!"

You fear Kassie is about to have a full-out temper tantrum any second now-

"You´ve literally watched me-"

"You were too fast!"

"Should´ve said something then, you crybaby-"

"Bridget!"

A brick goes flying then, and you´d be quite impressed by the sheer force of it, if it weren´t for the fact it was going straight for you, missing your eye by a hair's breadth but still managing to get you quite good, motherfu-

"Shit!"

That´s gonna bruise for sure.

"Kassie!"

"Wow Kass!"

And oh man, those eyes-

Through watery eyes (because that did hurt like mad) you can only watch Kassie get up and stomp out of the room before anything more can be said, and, well, you kinda get that. Being reprimanted not only by Mom but also your cool groupie-aunt (who might not be so cool for a while now) must feel quite overwhelming, unfair. Like the whole world is against you suddenly. But then again, you didn´t expect to be on the receiving end of a missile today, fucking-

Ellie is up in no time, body tense, a stern look on her face and even though it´s not directed at you, you can´t help the shiver that runs through your body because-

Mommy´s very angry.

It´s like she´s got some kind of tunnel vision, eyes staring daggers at the door her youngest disappeared through seconds ago and the resemblance between Mother and Daughter strikes you yet again as Ellie goes to stomp angrily walk towards it, only-

*click*

Kid got some balls, you gotta admit that.

Ellie freezes for a moment and even though she seems calm and collected on the outside, you just know she´s swearing like a sailor in her head. You can see her jaw working - clenching, releasing, clenching, releasing.

How silence can be so deafening is beyond you.

"Uh...you need some ice for that or-?"

Danny´s remark seems to snap everyone out of it. Ellie whips around so fast you fear she´s pulled a muscle. You swear there was a crack!.

She´s storming towards you, apologies spewing out of her. She looks quite frantic and, dare you say, a bit unhinged? Her hands come up to hover in front of you and she doesn´t seem to know what to do with them for a moment - clenching and unclenching them, lowering them only to lift them again - before she finally settles on oh so carefully cradling your head to take a closer look at what must, no doubt, be a pretty nasty bump by now, if that sharp tut! she makes is anything to go by.

Her thumb runs over it, just above your left eyebrow, the pressure she applies almost nonexistent and yet-

"Ah!"

You can´t stop the breathy sound from escaping your lips. Which only leads to Ellie looking even more like she´s about to lose it-

"I´m so sorry. I don´t know what´s gotten into her. She´s never done anything like this-"

She´s gonna give herself an aneurisma at this rate, so your hands come up as well, fingertips only just touching her forearms. Making sure you have her full attention.

"Ellie, hey, it´s alright-"

"It´s not alright. In this family we don´t just go around, throwing stuff at people. Especially not at guests. Things could´ve ended way worse-"

Well, that´s a tad bit dramatic isn´t it? However, you can feel your cheeks getting hot. You can´t help it. Ellie just has this way of being...Ellie.

Beth must sense your growing discomfort with the current situation. She´s always had a knack for reading you like a book and, right now, you feel like there´s a giant spotlight shining right at you. You´ve never liked being the center of attention and yet, with Ellie, it seems like you´re always the center of attention. It´s nerve-wracking most times, overwhelming, but also...oddly charming? (It´s complicated.)

"Hey Shortstuff, how about we go get some ice for that Bad Boy, hm? If it grows any bigger we might have to leash it."

Her half-lidded eyes are twinkling like they always do when she´s trying to stiffle a laugh. The right corner of her mouth just so lifted. Waggling her eyebrows once. All in all, she looks every bit the coquettish rascal that she is.

It never fails to make you laugh.

The two of you get up, Beth´s hand resting on your lower back, already halfway to the kitchen before she turns around once more, hand never leaving its current resting place.

"You guys mind packing up here in the meantime?"

You´ve almost reached the kitchen now, the open doorway within reach, and you finally feel like you can breathe again-

"Wait-"

A hand that is not Beth´s reaches between the both of you, taking hold of your left upper arm, making you turn around and-

Well, so much for breathing.

"Let me help. It´s the least I can do."

Shit.

You can feel Beth´s eyes on you as well, so you throw a quick glance in her direction. The both of you long since able to converse without words:

'I´ll handle it, just lemme know.'

'It´s alright, I got this.'

After a second you turn to Ellie, a gentle but firm dismissal already on your lips-

"Please."

Oh man, those eyes you swear to god-

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Beth moving forward a little, steps so minor one might believe she simply shifted on her feet. But you know better than that and you appreciate it, you really do.

However, while Ellie does turn you into a nervous wreck most of the time, you don´t want her to get the impression you might actually fear her. Not now. Not ever. How could you when she´s so...her?

Besides, you don´t want her to keep feeling guilty about what happened with Kassie. That was in no way her fault and you hated seeing that apprehension in her eyes. Apprehensive about what you aren´t exactly sure. Perhaps she doesn´t want you to think that this is what usually happens on a "Game Night"? Perhaps she doesn´t want you, or anyone for that matter, doubting her mothering skills? Like that´s even a possibility. You know what an amazing mom she is, you´ve witnessed it countless times in the short while you´ve been staying with the Bixlers. These kids are the luckiest and they know it, of that you´re certain.

So, before Beth can swoop in to rescue you from her own sister you take action, arm lifting just enough for your fingertips to graze her hand.

'It´s okay.'

Your brief interaction, lasting no more than two seconds, went unnoticed by Ellie. She was still staring right into your soul, right-

"Alright."

The smile she gives you in return is radiating, and you can't help it—already feeling the corners of your mouth lifting. It's an automatic response, same as with Beth. Apparently, charm runs in the family.

You swear to god.

Unbeknownst to you, this brief interaction did not go unnoticed. Eyes flitting back and forth between the pair of you, eyebrows slightly scrunched, Beth did wonder-

'Hm...'

As you and Ellie continue toward the kitchen, her hand remaining firmly on your arm, you glance over your shoulder to share one last look with Beth, and you can't help but notice...something's off.

Ellie is rather persistent in her pursuit though, giving your arm a light tug, urging you along. Alright alright.

You follow Ellie into the kitchen, her hand coming to rest between your shoulder blades now, leaving Beth and the others to clean up the living room.

You weren´t exactly sure what to expect from tonight but one thing´s for certain:

You've never witnessed someone take "Make 'N' Break" that literally.

#evil dead rise #maggot mommy #evil dead rise...but gayer #ellie bixler #alyssa sutherland #beth bixler #danny bixler #bridget bixler #kassie bixler #a certain someone

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boyswanna-be-her · 1 year

Text

I spent the last five days & nights w BFR, and before that we'd spent TWENTY of the previous 25 days together, usually only pausing to sleep separately. And although we'd been joking about it, I didn't actually realize what a mindfuck for me specifically it would be to spend several years alone and then most of a month with someone and then need to abruptly be apart for two weeks.

Emotionally on a day to day level that's just so not an issue. I spent years and years of my past relationships craving freedom and alone time and the ability to do whatever i want whenever i want it without waiting on someone else or having to take their opinions into account. I was definitely sweating being lonely and probably I still will eventually feel lonely on this trip--but getting on the highway today to head to Denver ended up feeling good and familiar and right.

But this morning was not that way. PTSD is fickle and I'm still learning my triggers. Being around someone I really care about is dredging up a lot of things that didn't get metabolized in my last relationship. And this morning, I woke up at 1 am on my couch with BFR in a full-on panic. Something about the fact that we'd fallen asleep in front of a movie instead of bed was the first thing that set me off (idk man, idk). I woke them up, they said they would come to bed, I went to bed in my panic and put on sleep noises and exhaustion managed to override the panic and I cried myself to sleep assuming I'd wake up w BFR.

I woke up again at 4:00. They hadn't come to bed from the couch. Legitimately I recognized that this meant nothing but that didn't matter. My mind has gone FULL police sirens now. I go back to the couch. They fully wake up and apologize for falling back to sleep and make room for me and I try to get comfortable w them on the couch but NOPE somehow this process makes my mind actually tip from being skittish to having a full-blown anxiety attack. I realized after a minute of sitting with the feeling of overwhelming panic and terror (which it took me TWO more hours to identify as a panic attack btw wrow) that none of the feelings were coming from the sleeping situation, but I failed to figure out WHERE they were coming from. So Iay there on the couch trying not to sob, so so so fucking confused about what was happening beneath the surface of my consciousness.

I just couldn't parse it. Like, BFR is great and our time is great but I don't know them well enough to be in love with them or even to miss them THAT much. Like christ, not sobbing over it! Not heart beating like I'm running type of upset.

Finally after I'd done every errand and packing task I could think of, I was still sobbing off and on so went to my Mom's place for a xanax (she was sleeping but luckily my dad knew where she keeps them). Then i came home abd I woke BFR up and basically said "i think I'm having a panic attack and I could use some company, like, fucking yesterday about it, and at least until the xanax i just took kicks in." And they got up and got their act together and immediately started uhhh taking care of me in a healthy way. Just sat with me and listened, said everything was going to be ok. And I talked at them and cried and cried and finally worked out that it had been a panic attack since I woke up at 1:00, I just had been deflected thinking it was bc I was sad to leave BFR.

In reality, there was this deep and abrupt CERTAINTY that I woke up with that my life had somehow fundamentally changed overnight and there was nothing I could do about it. It's almost 24 hours later and I'm still all shaken up to even approach understanding that headspace, but there it is. Between the fast onset of Jonathan's mental illness, his unexpected suicide, and the really awful way D ended their relationship with me a few weeks after Jonathan died, I have a very deep-seated belief that everything in my life can and will change without warning, for the extreme worse, ESPECIALLY when I feel safe, secure, loved, and excited about my future.

I just woke up and "knew" that it was all changing. I felt deeply that one or several devastating events were going to take place once I left town. Top on my list, when I drill into it, is that one of my parents or friends will get a devastating injury and/or die before I can say goodbye (lmao no idea where that comes from 🙄). It also felt/feels (when I let myself feel it and put it into words) 85% likely that BFR will change their mind about me while I'm gone and pretend like all of this never happened. Which honestly when I look at it with my logic brain is even less likely to happen than someone dying.

So I really got in there and sat with those feelings. It only helped a little bit to say it all out loud to BFR. It only helped a little bit to get their reassurance. That's how it is with this shit: it's not logical or evidence-based, so you can't logic your way out of it.

Eventually the Xanax got me, and I fell asleep in bed with BFR being the best and watching me and stroking me and waiting for me to either wake up on my own or need to be woken so I didn't miss my day of travel.

I slept HARD for two hours. When I woke up they were there waiting for me, sitting in bed. They had quietly continued cleaning my apartment, as well as gathering up all the snacks they had to send with me on the road trip today.

I felt so much less insane after the third attempt at sleep. Without talking through it AND a healthy dose of a sedative, I don't know that I would've been able to get on the road. I cannot think of a time other than during the sheer ego death of Effexor withdrawal in December when I was that completely panicked and inconsolable and SCARED.

I was two hours behind but after all that i was ready to go. I got the dogs loaded up and ran into a friend who said BFR was "a cutie" and we "would be a perfect couple" (i'll tell her later we already are 💕). I finally dropped them off on their side of town and hit the road for my first leg to Tennessee.

It is definitely taking lots of bandwidth for BFR to be there for me in the way that they are currently showing up. I know more about their history now and it makes me even more appreciative of the monumental effort it has taken to let someone new into their life. They had therapy this afternoon (let's goooo weekly therapy havers!!) and I could absolutely tell by the VERY serious tenor of their texts this evening that they'd been talking about us in therapy which is 1. Something a partner has NEVER done before, I'm always begging my partners to get therapy and they dont and 2. Incredibly fucking encouraging/affirming that they are indeed putting thought into me and I'm not stupid to be doing all the communication groundwork to build something nice. Shit is so pleasantly NOT one-sided. Like my last therapy sesh was me asking how I can avoid becoming codependent and wrecking my own life for someone, and their sesh had an apparent focus on communication with me and how to be vulnerable with me. The fuck? How healthy? Go off, I guess. We had a really thoughtful and helpful communication session (I had to pull over while driving but I did so happily bc it's really worth it), which in retrospect was not an easy conversation for either of us. We both were acknowledging some difficult truths about ourselves and setting expectations for what that means about a relationship. It's honestly quite doable things to overcome, and EARLY to be digging in, but it's also really fucking helpful to be in the loop with what they're thinking/fighting and I'd imagine vice versa.

But they sent me thoughtful texts all day (more than I sent them), did their yoga class, therapy, called me once I was settled in the hotel, listened to my stories about the day, asked if I wanted to stay on the phone and watch a movie together. I went to the hotel gym instead. Solo travel is going to be tough on my sobriety, and getting physically worn out has been helping a lot. Doesn't matter much what I do--just gotta tire out the software by running the hardware or something like that.

So. It was an awfully hard day. BFR took it in stride but I did not. I tripped up and kind of rolled down a fucking jagged hill. But all I can do is show up and try again and not sweat it too much that PTSD is going to be a part of my life until it's not. There's a lot that makes it worth it right now.

I think I have a lot of potential to create something special and rare with this person who has found me. Usually when someone cares about me this much and fawns over me and wants to help me in areas where I really need it, I find it a huge turn off. That's always made me feel misanthropic, but idk. Maybe there was always some thin-slicing going on and I felt that there would be a catch. But with BFR there's something I recognize there. The care they give me isnt a donation, or an investment, or a down payment. They genuinely like to see me succeed, like to see my pain eased or erased, even when there's nothing they can gain from me. They're happy to make me happy in a way that I actually don't think I've ever encountered from someone who was interested in me. Like I hate to just relegate them to the cliche of service top but they are indeed panning out to be someone who gets off in every way by overachieving in helping or pleasing me--and they're talented at making that service-y aspect somethinf that I'm the boss of, instead of making me feel like I'm a pet project or something to be changed.

That's my ramble. Needed to vomit it all out somewhere. I'm retroactively editing so my apologies for the everything. Pictures to come.

#bfr #colorado trip

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magnolia-among-the-stars · 1 year

Text

I Drink Wine (Jake Seresin, Chapter 3)

Summary: Gwendolyn Benjamin did everything she could to run away from her past. From the pain and heartbreak to come to California and live near her Aunt & Godmother, Penny. A hardened soul, she meets Jake Seresin who ends up turning everything she thought she swore off into a frenzy.

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Female! Reader (OC: Gwendolyn Benjamin)

Warnings: Cursing, Angst

Tropes: Slow burn, Enemies to Lovers, Sunshine & Rainstorm

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Finally felt like I could start writing this from 2nd person :D Hope you like it!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER / next chapter

Tension began to grow heavy in your brow, a soreness in the lower portion of the small of your back. Whimpers left your dried, cracked lips when you would rise too quickly, and a wave of dizzy spouts hit you in crashing waves – tugging you beneath the unwavering waters until Fanboy is there to drag you back safely. As your semester of teaching ended and the sweltering heat of San Diego’s sun began to intensify, you were going to more and more doctor’s visits.

Your worst nightmare, mixed with poor timing found you back on medication you hadn’t been on since your Undergraduate degree. The increased pressure of your chronic illness so intense in your skull that they were worried for your vision, worried for the earth-shattering headaches that rolled around your temples. The medication made you hollow, Mickey becoming your crutch as you tried to adjust to a new lifestyle. You were slower, more hesitant with your words as your brain fogged over too easily.

“You can’t keep doing this,” I murmur as Mickey slides a new pair of fuzzy socks over my numb toes, tugging me closer after pressing play on a movie. His hands are steady, the hands of a WSO – you can only imagine how precise he is when in the air under attack. “You’re never going to get married if you keep fusing over me.”

Mickey only laughs, his bright smile beaming in the dimly lit living room. “You and I both know I’m not finding myself a woman or man for that matter while I’m actively in deployments any way. And you’re way too stubborn to take care of yourself properly.”

Your chin tucks into your chest at his words, warmth rising your chest and settling into your cheeks pressed against his side. He notices your lack of response, feels the quiver in your back before pulling away slightly to stare down at him.

“Gwennie,” Mickey murmurs, wiping away your tears. “You’re going to beat this thing. You’re going to beat this thing every single time you fall out of remission. You might be too stubborn to deal with it, but you’re also too stubborn to let it win.” He tugs you closer as gentle sobs roll through you, echoing in the safety of your home and away from prying eyes.

The next night, he decides you need to get out for a little while for some fresh air and human interaction. It’s been a few weeks since you have seen the rest of the crew and you were beginning to miss even Rooster’s mustache if it were possible. Penny messaged earlier in the day, promising a spot in the office the minute the bar became overwhelming and that she would have the cook make an order of fried pickles for you, your favorite.

So, at 5 o'clock, you’re surprised when the doorbell rings. Freshly out of the shower, you’re still towel drying your damp hair when you check the window to see familiar brown eyes and a twisted bun. “Nat,” you greet as you tug the door open in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“A little bird told me you’ll be joining us for a night out tonight,” she slings a heavy duffle bag over her shoulder while her other hand cradles a large bottle of iced tea. “I wanted to try to cash in on that girl’s night that we’ve talked about before.” You stare at her inviting face, her glowing cheeks and gentle gaze before stepping aside.

Nat had been good to you in the months you had been living in the area. She was a confidant, a feminine energy with a calming center. So sure of herself and what came next…you envied that about her. With all that went down over the last two years and with the break-up, you felt like your world had been thrown on its axis and you with it. You tumbled into the abyss, never knowing when the darkness would end and never knowing if you would ever feel comfortable getting close to another person again. It all just felt like too much. But for Nat, you try. So, you usher her inside your warm and beachy home and watch as she kicks off her sandals.

“It’s not the biggest house in Miramar but Penny did a great job renovating it for me,” you share, showing her your cozy living room with the large bay windows all cracked open to allow the breeze to dance through the white sheer curtains. The sun has already begun to climb down from the sky, so light catches on the worn oak of the floorboards that squeak as you move into the kitchen.

It’s your favorite place, with your beloved coffee maker and original stove. Mav insisted on a lightweight butcher’s board countertop which made prepping meals and kneading bread a delight. The sink was large, vintage and curved to remind you of your grandparents’ cabin out on the lake when you were younger. Fresh flowers sat in an amber glass at the makeshift table out on the patio in the back. When you round the corner, you show her the bathroom and then open the door to your bedroom.

The comforter is a mess, still tossed off the mattress from your nap earlier and your dirty clothes litter the floor. But it’s painted a vibrant green and your brown furniture makes perfectly. There’s a large vanity along with a writer’s desk in front of a big round window.

“This place is beautiful,” Nat gushes, glancing around before jumping to land on your bed. The bobbing makes you giggle as you run and join her, tumbling a top of your soft sheets next to her side.

“Thanks for coming,” you whisper after the laughter dies down, your smile pressed tightly as you take a few deep breaths. “I don’t know if Mick told you -,”

“He hasn’t said a word,” Nat informs you, holding her hands up before you can finish. “I just, I’ve figured something must be going on and I really want us to be friends Gwen, I’ve waited forever for a fun and sassy female around here to share the burden of these men.” Female friendships were never your forte in high school, and you were too focused on studies in college to even try hard enough so her words pull at your chest, wrapping you in a hug.

“Can you help me decide what to wear tonight?” you ask finally, a nervous smile cracking as you sit up and adjust your bracelet on your wrist.

“Of course,” she says, grabbing your hand as she walks toward the closet. Deciding on a simple billowing top and some pink wide legged trousers that sway as you move – you were feeling good about where the night was heading. A light bit of natural and glowy makeup and twist your hair into a braid, so it was off your neck with the heat of the summer rolling in.

By the time you ended up at The Hard Deck, the bar was in full swing with patrons and pilots alike. The smell of sea salt mixed with beer wafts through the air as Nat leads up through the crowd, bumping into bodies as we go. The sandals make it hard to keep up with her, but you push forward and finally find yourself in front of a grinning Penny.

“Look at my gorgeous niece,” she shouts out, sliding a small glass of wine your way which you take with a pouty kiss in return. She pulls the basket of fried pickles from behind the counter and places them down, onto the sticky bar surface. You grab them with glee as Nat clutches your wrist, helping you navigate over to the booth where all the guys are crowded around. They’re all dressed casually this evening, having had time to change from the day of work up in the sky.

“There they are,” Coyote calls, spotting you first as he drags over a chair to offer his spot in the booth for the two of you to slide in. You press your glass down at the counter and greet the pilots, glancing between Mick and Bob with a giant grin before your eyes landing on emeralds.

“I’m really liking this outfit Gwen,” Rooster admits as he adjusts the collar of his button down before taking a sip of his beer.

“Thank you, Bradley,” you say, eyes flittering back to your wine as you await conversation to pick up. And it does, the boys going back to arguing about who did the most pushups today on the tarmac during training or who was the worst of the latest bunch of recruits for the Top Gun program that they were instructors for. You sip your wine slowly, with intention as you listen contently to their stories.

As the night goes on, you all spread from the confines of the booth and take over the pool table area. You’ve scarfed down the fried pickles with Bob’s help before Bradley asks you to select some music from the jukebox with him. “Anything but Slow Ride,” he begs and so you settle on Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. The bar has thinned out at this point, just the regulars and a few too drunk recruits making idiots of themselves so you’re unabashed when Rooster offers a hand.

He's got you laughing as he sings out the lyrics, twirling you around the small space as if you’re in a swing dance competition but you’re enjoying the moment, so you let him spin you around and around until you’re slightly dizzy. When the song ends and he turns to pick another one, your eyes settle on those green orbs again. Hangman is staring, tucked behind his tequila soda as Coyote talks to him from the side.

His gaze is heavy, his jawline so sharp that you must look away. You turn back to the palm trees of Bradley’s button up shirt as he tries to find another song to dance too. “Nat says you play piano?” He glances over at you, aviators swinging from their shelve on the neck of his white tank top. His bushy eyebrows are raised in surprise before an amused smile glosses over his tanned face.

“I dabble in many things, Gwen,” he leans against the jukebox with his arms crossed and I notice the subtle flex in his muscles. “I can show you sometime, maybe after the rest of the gang heads home?” Bradley is attractive and warm, like a golden retriever but messy commitment issues can recognize messy commitment issues and this thread of gold twining between you two feels too familiar. Bile rises in your throat, and you stammer slightly, eyes wide as you glance around.

“Maybe another time,” you offer earnestly, not wanting to send him soaring to the pavement. You note the availability of the pool table as everyone collects their newest refreshment and a perfect out. “How about a game of pool?”

Bradley seems unphased as you don’t await his response, simply swiveling on your heel and returning to more populated area to grab a pool stick. “You can’t tell me you’re going to play pool?” the thick accent rings out and you close your eyes for a moment, fingertips digging into the wood. “You’ll never win.”

“And what makes you the all-knowing, Bagman?” your tone is fresh for the first time all night and inside you’re screaming for him to stand down. To let you have this, to let you have one good night with a good of seemingly good people.

“You’re too fuckin’ short,” Hangman quips back, bringing his glass to his lips and taking a swig before placing it back onto the high-top to your right. “You’ll never reach the angles you’d need to make a shot.”

“You seem so sure,” you question as Reuben and Nat return to the table, Bradley too with his hands shoved in the pockets of his cutoff jean shorts. They watch the interaction intently before Bradley tries to step in.

“Good thing she’s playing me,” Bradley steps forward to grab the pool stick from Hangman to no avail. He’s like a toddler trying to be funny, holding the stick out of reach with an amused grin on his face. His nose glistens in the light of the overheads and the simple grey shirt he’s thrown on stretches across his torso a little too tightly. You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Jake,” Bradley’s tone is stiff, “Cut the shit.”

“C’mon man,” Hangman responses, glancing at you over Bradley’s tall frame with a pointed look. “A little healthy ass-kicking is good for everyone.”

“Bradley, you can play him,” you grumble, tossing the pool stick his way and turning to Nat.

“I knew it,” Hangman’s words cut through the air, sucking the air from your lungs. “I knew you were a quitter.” You could hear the protests rolling off Mickey’s tongue as he approached the group and heard the blond’s words, but he hit below the belt, sucker punched you without a second glance. And you were hook, line, and sinker now as you turn back around to grab the whiskey from Reuben’s hand to take a large gulp. You clutch the stick from Bradley’s loose grip, eyes ablaze as you turn to the man defending you with a fierce expression.

“Bradley, rack ‘em.”

It was a tense twenty minutes, without much of a noise from the remainder of the group crowded around the table. They watch intently as Jake tries to egg you on, throwing comments of all kinds your way. But your brow is creased, and you’ve been chomping away at the inside of your cheek since the game began so Mickey was certain you weren’t even here at the bar.

To Jake’s amusement, you were holding your own. Something he would never admit out loud that he expected from the moment you leaned down to break at the beginning of the game. You knew your angles, knew some trick shots too so when you sunk the eight ball perfectly on your final shot – he couldn’t hold back the small smile climbing through his cocky exterior. But you miss the gentle gesture.

The pilots all cheer, finally bursting in delight as Reuben comes over to lift you off the floor in victory. They all sing praise, calling you Champ while doing a celebratory lap around the bar. Coyote’s offering a round of shots and Bob is claiming you as his permanent table partner as a wave of laughter bubbles through you. When Reuben finally puts you down on the ground, Nat is collecting you in her arms and squealing about how proud she is.

It feels good, a celebration raging on around you as the boys race out onto the beach to start the bonfire for the evening. You yawn slightly as the crowd breaks and you notice Jake leaning against the pool table on his forearms, a hand wiping over his face with an unreadable expression. That heat returns, the rage in your chest as you stalk across the span of the floor. You hover above him, tucked in front of one of the lights so that a shadow casts onto the green felt of the table.

“Good game Teach,” he says, his tone flat as he clears his throat and finishes his drink. The ice clinches in the glass as he swirls it around and you scoff. The noise makes him jump.

“Don’t ever, and I mean ever,” you seeth, planting your foot, “call me a quitter – you understand me?” Jake’s taken aback by your tone, at a loss for words from your visceral reaction. He blinks a few times before trying to speak again. “Don’t speak, Seresin. I fuckin’ mean it.”

And before he can process, you’re gone from his view, disappearing back to the bar where you get some leftovers from Penny. He watches you press a kiss to Mickey’s cheek, then a hug to Reuben, to Bob and to Bradshaw before you link arms with Nat. Within seconds, your presence is erased from the bar and Jake’s trying to shake the tremble in your voice from his head.

#jake seresin x oc #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin imagines #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #top gun #top gun mav

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everystephoftheway · 1 year

Note

“this might be a weird time to mention it, but you smell really great.” - dealer's choice!

hug prompts ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🐚 ꒱

Okay, so I chose Pike and Percy for this and I want to disclaim: I don't actually ship this romantically AT ALL, but I know Ashley has said that at one point Pike had a little crush on Percy and I think that concept is fun, so I figured why not :D And I wanted to try something different! Hope you like!

Pike always had an excellent sense of smell. It is a huge help with her baking, but in a lot of cases recently it hasn't exactly been an advantage. Between crypts and zombie hoards and dragon innards, Pike has wished she didn’t have a nose more times than not the last few months. So, when she starts to notice the smell of cherry blossoms trying very hard to mask the smell of gunmetal she starts turning to find its source.

It only takes a moment, and a one-eighty degree turn around, to find Percy standing just behind her, clearly just dressed from a shower as his hair still looks a bit damp. The floral scent brings a smile to her face, the fact that the gunmetal couldn’t be washed away or overwhelmed even more so. She watches as he sits down and fiddles with his coat, brushing off any dust only for more dust from the dirt they called their campground to sprinkle the ends near his ankles. His glasses press against his nose, making little red marks against his pale skin.

She’s never noticed how he smells before. As she thinks about it, her heart starts to beat a little harder in her chest and she claps her hand against her armor, causing him to look up.

“You alright, Pike?”

“Oh, uh, yeah." She slaps her hand down onto her thigh. "Yeah, I’m okay. There was a bug on me.” An awkward laugh follows as she smiles, maybe a bit too big, but if Percy senses–or perhaps cares–about her weirdness, he doesn’t act like it.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll stay away now.”

“Yeah…This might be a weird time to mention it, but you smell really great.”

It takes a second for Percy to process what Pike said, and his eyes slowly but surely widen to nearly fill the frames of his glasses. It makes Pike’s heart race again, how red his cheeks get and how frazzled he seems. She just wants to sit on his lap and snuggle against his chest. And maybe drink a lot of ale and have some fun in the tents, but that thought flickers away just as fast as it flickers in.

“Oh, I–thanks, Pike. I, um…borrowed Keyleth’s soap.”

“It’s nice.”

He nods for a moment, offering her a smile that makes his eyes curl–stop that!–then turns back as if he hears something.

“I think…I think that’s Vex calling.”

Pike turns in the direction he’s looking, but hears nothing.

“Oh yeah, definitely her. I’ll go check and make sure everything’s alright.” He stands, brushes as much dust off his coat as he can, gives another smile to Pike, and then walks away past the tent toward the tree line, nearly tripping on a rock as he goes.

“Dammit, Trickfoot,” she mutters to herself. “So stupid.”

#i have no idea what their ship name is someone please tell me #if they even have one?#anon asks #thank you for sending in!#also this has nothing to do with a hug but this is where my head went #tlovm #tlovm fic #my fic #percy and pike #percival fredrickstein von musel de rolo iii #pike trickfoot #cr ask

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whump-blog · 2 years

Note

i think nearly a year ago you wrote a drabble about a pet whumpee and their old friend caretaker. could you write a continuation of that? maybe there is some more progress in the recovery, maybe whumpee starts to recognize their friend… <3

Hello anon, thank you for sending this ask. I really enjoy it when someone is interested in something I write enough to want to read more.

I'm sorry I haven't answered sooner, I've been very busy these last two months. But I swear I started writing this second part the same day you sent me this request.

Thank you and I hope you're still around here to read this :D

CW: catatonic whumpee, low self-esteem, fear, angst, feelings of guilt, past pet whump, recovery whump

Part 1

The days in Caretaker's house seemed to affect Whumpee. Headaches and sudden flashes in the middle of everyday actions had been increasing over the last few months.

Today Whumpee had been tidying the house, cleaning as he did every Monday. Leaving everything perfect for the person who gave everything for him.

And then as Whumpee swept the floor looking distantly at Caretaker, something happened, the event was unexpected and sudden.

It was the light, maybe? The time of day? The smell? The atmosphere? Or something that Whumpee couldn't explain. But the sight of Caretaker standing there against the light of the window, just passing by, brought to his mind, something like a déjà vu.

But it wasn't just that, no, it was something stronger, the image that entered the retina of Whumpee's eyes stiffened him.

Everything seemed to come together. The flashes he had been having, the headaches and the disjointed images and sounds that came and went out of nowhere came together like pieces of a puzzle to give him the answer he hadn't been looking for.

It all seemed to make sense. And Caretaker, as usual, was quick to notice Whumpee's startled face.

"Whumpee?" called Caretaker.

The broom slipped from Whumee's hands, and he stared blankly. In shock. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind, and the world seemed too much. Overwhelming. And then the information frenzy stopped.

Caretaker ran towards him, but Whumpee was no longer present.

-----

Whumpee had been catatonic after recovering his memories. During which time, Caretaker had had to care for him almost as much as the day Whumpee had arrived at his home.

Whumpee spends all day in bed, looking out of the window, but seeing nothing. He eats when Caretaker puts food in his mouth and lets himself be carried away so that his friend can give him a bath. It is not that he is not objecting; it is simply that Whumpee is not there.

Eventually one day, as Caretaker was putting Whumpee to bed, Whumpee reacted. He came back as suddenly as he had left. He grabbed Caretaker by the wrist as he was about to leave the room. Whumpee pulled him by the arm and hugged him, leaning his head on his shoulder. Emotions burning in his chest, he shed only a few tears that were enough to accept the forgotten truth.

Caretaker could no longer contain himself either, and decided to share the moment of release of long-held anguish with his friend.

-----

After that, life went on as before Whumpee regained his memories, almost as if nothing had happened. Whumpee and Caretaker went back to their routines. Only now, while watching TV, eating dinner or cleaning the house they could talk about the old days, their adventures together and the times they had shared before Whumpee was turned into a pet.

Anyone would have thought that the worst was over, now Whumpee had nothing to fear. His friend who had always been by his side would not let anything bad happen to him, and Whumpee knew that.

But there was something else, as the days passed a deep fear grew in Whumpee's mind. He knew that now that he had recovered his memories, he would have to leave. Go back to his old life. The thought disturbed him, and Whumpee could not accept that truth and face Caretaker.

How could he be so ungrateful? Even now that he had all the pieces of his life, he decided to refuse to do what he was supposed to do. Pack his bags and stop living off Caretaker's work, but instead of doing that he continued, like a parasite, to take advantage of Caretaker's kindness.

Then, like the cowardly worm he was, he began to do everything in his power to make sure Caretaker wanted him in his home. He cleaned every day, always cooked for Caretaker, ironed the clothes, made the beds and saw that everything was perfect.

Caretaker of course noticed this, but Whumpee brushed it off. He excused himself by saying that he enjoyed doing something in return for all that Caretaker did for him, besides, he was in the house all day anyway!

And things, for a while, seemed to be going according to plan until one day they weren't.

Despite all his efforts, the stress of what might happen in the future had been building up in Whumpee, causing him to make a mistake that day, a simple mistake, a stupid mistake that had resulted in revealing the secret he had wanted to keep from Caretaker.

He had forgotten to turn off the water in the sink when he had finished washing the dishes, and it had ended up overflowing. The floor was soaking wet and Caretaker was about to arrive home.

The situation reminded Whumpee of what had happened in the first few weeks at Caretaker's house, when Whumpee had not yet recovered his memories. And just as the day of the burnt dinner incident, Caretaker arrived in the middle of the disaster.

And at that instant when Caretaker crossed the threshold Whumpee burst into tears, kneeling on the wet floor, his tears mixing with the water that was spreading everywhere.

Caretaker lifted him off the floor and carried him out of the kitchen. Sitting him on the living room couch.

"Wait here," said Caretaker, leaving Whumpee, who was listening to the footsteps on the wet floor. Caretaker had returned to the kitchen to turn off the tap and once again solve all the problems Whumpee was causing.

When Caretaker returned to Whumpee's side, he was still crying, only now silently. His elbows on his knees and his face staring at the carpet on the floor. Caretaker knelt in front of him to gain access to his eyes, the entrance to what words could not convey.

"Whumpee, you know it's all right, there's nothing serious going on that can't be fixed. You know me, you know I'm not going to get angry or hurt you." Caretaker tried to explain as he always did, with simple, comforting words.

Whumpee cried harder after those words. Knowing that Caretaker deserved an explanation and not for Whumpee to add to the sadness he had already brought him since he came back into his life.

"It's…it's just…it's just… I… I… I-" Whumpee continued to sob, unable to utter his thoughts, "It's not perfect…" he finally admitted.

"It's okay whumpee it doesn't have to be perfect… everybody makes mistak-"

"No, it's not; you don't understand… you… if it's not perfect… now that I have my memories... there's no excuse, there's no reason for me to be here-" Whumpee broke down again as the cards were laid out on the table. Now he just had to listen to his destiny.

Caretaker said nothing, from where he was kneeling in front of Whumpee he just watched him with a perplexed expression. He stared at nothing for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts, but when he looked back at Whumpee he did not say a word. His face showed understanding and no words were needed as Caretaker took Whumpee in his arms and the two shared a moment of a warmth that no person could have put into words.

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