#physically though? save her she's fucking freezing /j

[pierswife]

What if pokemanda favored a different typing from steel/water, a la the pokemiku series?

"I've always been super super fond of Ice Types, actually! The Glaceon is Eve, Froslass is Eir, and Beartic is Jeralt! Don't mind Jeralt too much. He doesn't bite! ... much."

#manda be like: I will have a large and intimidating bear no matter what #it's what they wear during the winter in unova in general but like... very much would 100% would be that ice type trainer-- #-- who isn't cold in personality and is the total opposite of their pokemon #physically though? save her she's fucking freezing /j #data log: manda's doodles #s/i: amanda (pkmn) #user: galar-abortion-clinic #side note: I still struggle SO MUCH to not grin and laugh whenever I type your url /lh

[homisexual11]

Jalice X Reader NSFW Alphabet

How I’m supposed to do this? I don’t know, homie. But I’ll figure it out.

Warnings: mentions of vampirism, and mentions of blood… the usual. overstimulation

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Both of them are so good at it, and are such sweethearts. Beware, you will be coddled like crazy. Running a bath for you, then changing you into warm clothes (because they’re both fucking freezing)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

They love all of you. But… Alice loves your lips, and Jasper likes your thighs. Alice’s reasoning is a bit less SFW, but she genuinely likes the shape of them and how they look. She also likes what you can do with them, but anyways… Jasper genuinely likes lying on your thighs innocently.

Alice likes her eyes, she likes the way they look on her, and what she can do to you with them…

Jasper likes his fingers because he knows how well he can please both of you with them. Man is good with his hands. (As seen in the gif— yes that is the entire reason I added it)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It takes quite a while for both of them to orgasm, vampire stamina and all that… and genuinely they could go at it for hours, but they normally stop after one with themselves. For you, my love, they will overstimulate you to no end.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Alice is actually surprisingly dominant… but because of the fact that Jasper is nervous to be out of control she normally just lets it go. But when you come around, it becomes less a secret.

Jasper wouldn’t mind if you called him sir, but doesn’t want to weird you out. (Help he’s so sweet)

Also both of them might like to see you cry from pleasure but—

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

They had obviously done it with each other before you, and before then Jasper had done it a couple times with Maria…still that was more to get her off than him, gotta love that. It’s not the worst thing she did. (Ima leave that at that)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Alice likes to sit on your face.

Jasper likes to SEE your face. He will do pretty much anything, though.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It can be a little silly… like a quite a few giggles. It can also be serious, but it’s very silly most of the time.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I don’t know why but I can’t do this to save my life 😭 it makes me uncomfortable but I can write like backbreaking earth shattering smut and somehow not this.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Although it’s very silly, Jasper 100% refers to it as making love. He’s very into it, it’s very loving and mostly gentle with him. Alice can join, but she does whatever feels better for you in the moment.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Never really happens. Jasper definitely doesn’t, and Alice never really has the need to.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Overstimulation, said it once, will say it again.

Orgasm denial every now and then

Obviously multiple people (but will do it separately, either she and him, you and him, or you and her)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

A bedroom, it’s simple. They’re simple like that.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Dirty talk for both of them. Also Jasper likes seeing both of you in his clothes? Take that as you will.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that physically hurts. Blood play, for obvious reasons. Also Jasper would probably not want to do it before marriage, but might be convinced?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both. Both of them love both. They both do it so well, too.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

For Alice it depends, but for Jasper it’s normally slow and sensual… unless something’s pissed him off, which he normally won’t fuck you if that’s the case but if he does you’re in for a wild ride (literally and figuratively)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Alice will do it, she’s the more progressive of the two on almost anything. Jasper prefers not, but if you really needed it he would.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

With anything that wouldn’t hurt you, yeah. That limits it a little bit, but still.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Obviously they could go for weeks on end, but they normally only do one or two for them. Once again, on you they will go at it until you beg them to stop.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No, but if you had them they could be used.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Alice can be a tease, but she doesn’t always do it. Jasper could, and boy would it bother you, but he normally doesn’t.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Neither of them are very loud, because they held their breath if you were human… if you weren’t, they would let a couple sounds slip. They also learned to keep quiet so people wouldn’t know as easily, but one time you were giving Jasper head and he whimpered so much because no one was in the area—

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

One of the best experiences with all of you together was when you went down on Alice as Jasper took you from behind. Yall did the exact same thing for a long time that night…

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I don’t know how to do this for Alice 😭 but Jasper is average but he’s a little thicker. (Help that made me uncomfortable to write)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Alice’s is higher than Jaspers, but Both are very low.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

They don’t sleep.

#anyways #twilight #twilight saga #twilight x y/n #twilight x reader #twilight headcanons #jalice #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale #alice cullen #alice cullen x reader #Jalice x reader

[faerienextdoor]

general relationship hcs with (some) pastas

Fair warning, I'm using and hinting at mine and my friends’ writing for these creeps :) enjoy  also as soon as i figure out how to open an ask box, I’ll be accepting requests

Brian:

- oh where to start with this absolute himbo

- he melts around you. like he's your bitch, and you're his.

- he's the type of boyfriend that takes you out in the snow and shoves a handful down the back of your jacket, and laughs until you shove snow in his face

- it is snow war

- it ends with you cuddling him, wrapped in a blanket and content in front of the burning fire he got started just for you <3

- but he also has some weird... habits.

- drinks pickle juice.

- gets his hand stuck in the jar.

- looks at you like 🥺 until you sigh and help him. for the fifteenth time.

- he can cook some basic breakfast foods, and happily breaks out a cookbook to prepare you something as a surprise or to learn something with you!!

- baking with him would be a mess. he forgets flour goes everywhere and now you both look like you took a bath in cocaine

- but the cupcakes are mediocre at best. they aren't absolute garbage, so... cupcake points!

- he worries about how hoodie treats you. he doesn't remember anything when he regains control, but you've reassured him hoodie is just fine.

- and he is

(hoodie)

- hoodie is like a rottweiler or a doberman.

- protective. intimidating. energetic.

- but also a giant fucking baby.

- this large ass man lumbers over and drops to his knees. places his chin on your lap and stares at you from the fabric of his mask until you stop what you're doing and stroke his head awkwardly

- you could swear he does those happy grumbled a rottie does.

- hoodie is silent but shows he loves you just as much as brian does. He strokes your hair silently, even places a kiss to the crown of your head as you sink into his beefy arms.

- he smells nice too. surprisingly.

- but that raises the question: if hoodie showers, does he shower with that damn thing on?

- you won't get an answer if you were to ask.

- brian introduces you to his grandma julia. and she dotes on you.

- the immortal old lady remarks that you’re the best s/o brian has brought to her yet.

Tim:

- a lumberjack man with biceps like a fucking tree trunk

- how'd you land him? give me your secrets (/j)

- he's such a love bug. a tired stressed love bug.

- he finds /every/ excuse to have physical contact with you. it's like a little touch from you reassures him that you're real. you're like a dream to him.

- he's the best for cuddles. He holds you to his chest

- and you get special access to his moobs

- and he gently strokes your head, traces shapes into your back, etc. it's a special intimate moment each time.

- my man's is italian-american but can't cook to save his fucken life

- he always gets your favorite microwave meals though!! he never forgets.

- not feeling good? dw baby he's making it for you <33 shitty low tier bean and cheese burrito coming up

- slowly he learns the basics and surprises you with lunch or even dinner if you're lucky!!

- he loves you so much. and wants you to feel it and know it. all the time.

(masky)

- god where to start with this bitch

- he's not jeff levels of bad ofc, but he's silent and... weird. creepy, some may say. he doesn't mean to be.

- and he's a hard ass. far more strict than tim.

- he follows you around like a giant fucken puppy and will spook you by grabbing you abruptly and holding you tightly

- you can't escape him. he really utilizes his physical strength

- he loves lifting you up and just... holding you. or carrying you off.

- protective and overbearing.

- but tim keeps him under control.

(angst)

- he wouldn't want to lose you like he lost his last wife.

- you find pictures of a woman laying around and a small girl that bears a striking resemblance to her and tim.

- tim goes quiet and questioned but eventually caves and tells you about his family

- or what he used to have

- his wife died and his daughter disappeared.

- it broke him and you're all he has left now

- constantly needs your affection in return to his own

- pls love him

jeff:

- why the fuck would you date him

- he's the absolute worst in so many aspects. But he genuinely tries for you.

- even if his gifts are shitty, it's nice to know he thoughts of you, right? even if it's a half dead flower or a rib torn from a deer caraccas.

- but you get the butt end of his shithead antics. ranch bath, specifically. he smelt like spoiled milk for a week after and you had to cuddle that fucker.

- and don't get me started on mayo bath

- but he still loves finding himself in your arms. or finding you in his. he's demanding affection wise, and will yank you into him for some cuddles. whether you like it or not.

- he isn't one for a lot of pet names, but calls you curse words or "sweetheart" in polish.

- and you get to see the side of him that only shows when he breaks down.

(bit of angst)

- he misses his family and the life he used to have. he'll reminisce what it was like in poland with his mom and family with you, and you sometimes swear you can see his brown eyes gloss over at the memory of her.

- he never talks about his dad, you've noticed.

- don't ask.

- he brushes off heavy conversations with some dumb quip ("wanna see my renegade?")

- he sucks at cooking. god awful at it. but he really tries for you. manages a bowl of oat meal that's edible.

- but he overloads it with sugar and for some reason, salt.

- he's confused. he thinks that's normal (it isn't)

- his idea of a date is napping with you. or rather, forcing you into nap time.

- I mean it when I say this man is strong in a weird fucken way. latches onto you with that iron grip and you won't be able to leave for at least a few hours.

jane:

- ethereal wlw woman.

- could break you with her heels. or a flutter of what eyelashes she has.

- you're lucky to have her, and she's just as lucky to have you!

- she's sweet and charming. very smooth and takes good care of you.

- her love language is a mix of physical touch and acts of service.

- she'll cuddle you all night, and then make you breakfast in the morning.

- she loves showering with you when she's comfy enough around you! it's super intimate and she washes your hair.

- massages the soap into your hair, suds spilling down your neck and back as her fingers scrub circles into your scalp.

- it's heaven on earth. such a domestic life.

- it'll take a while for her to settle enough in the relationship for you to see her without her mask

- you make her feel so loved and wanted

- secure, even.

- she's protective but not controlling or overbearing. shes that type of girlfriend that's just a worrywart and relaxes as soon as you're curled up in her arms. you fit there perfectly, too. like you belong there.

- which you do. at least in her mind

- she has such a gentle touch and hold on you. like she's afraid you'll combust in her arms if she holds you too tightly.

- she loves stroking your hair and having you nap

- using her tiddies as a pillow 👌

(angst)

- she needs affirmation from you when it comes to her scars.

- she thinks that jeff ruined her. permanently marking her once spotless body.

- and she thinks you'll hate her or find her disgusting.

- that's why she freezes if/when you gently slip off her mask.

- she stares at you with those teary green eyes. then leans in and kisses you

- you make all of her worries disappear.

- she's also financially comfortable, but not really rich (on that topic: eat the rich)

- she spoils you every chance she gets. gifts, a nice dinner date, you name it

- she almost spoils you as much as she does her cat Emory

- little shit has the sparkliest fucken collar and acts like he's the shit

- he's your fur baby too now

Helen:

- oh my god this disaster of an art boi

- he's convinced he's the luckiest man in the world (and he might as well be!!)

- he obviously wouldn't have been the one to confess. but it was really obvious by how he painted and drew you constantly, that some feeling for you was lodged into his beating heart.

- he treats you like the finest china. with the most care a man can manage.

- he's the definition of clingy and affectionate from the very start.

- he curls around your sleeping form perfectly when y'all cuddle.

- his hand dances in your hair, soothing you into a dreamless sleep each night without fail.

- he has a magic touch and a gentle voice.

- and he cherishes you so fucken much. (like a simp /j)

- he shies away from kisses at first, but will hold your hand and melts if you hold his face in them!!!

- he's greek, and often speaks sweet things to you in it. he's so comfortable around you that he speaks in his native language to you. that's an accomplishment.

- he loves when you baby him. helen loves being cradled and loved.

- taking a nap with his head on your chest also hits different. he's so in love with you

(angst)

- he's afraid of losing you. who wouldn't be? you're amazing and you love /him/ of all people

- he thinks very negatively of himself. please scold him for self deprecating.

- he always worries he'll wake up and you'll be gone.

- so he holds you extra close at night. and follows you around when you leave for any reason. Trails behind you like a lost puppy in need of a gentle kiss.

- which, is what he essentially is

- and also: pls steal his sweater and wear it. he'll cry over how cute you are.

#creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #cp headcanons #jeff the killer #brian thomas #marble hornets #timothy wright #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #cp x reader #scenarios #creepypasta scenarios #jane the killer #jane arkensaw #helen otis #bloody painter

[bookipsies]

Hello, and thank you for attending my Tedx talk: Why Spider-Man 2 is a Masterpiece

1. The opening credits that recap the entirety of Spider-Man in case you missed it

2. Guess how many other marvel heroes are in the intro? Fucking zero this movie is about Spider-Man and Spider-Man alone fuck off iron man get a job.

3. Slow pan out from Kirsten Dunst’s creepy half smile that she maintains for the entirety of the movie

4. Within the first 3 fucking minutes of this movie we get the most iconic line of all time “hey, he stole that guys pizza!”

5. Peter Parker gets 30-45 seconds of uninterrupted shot of him trying to get some mops back into a janitor’s closet while Zooey Deschanel’s sister watches.

6. This movie is 2 hours of Sam Raimi beating Tobey Maguire the fuck up. He throws mops at him, he hits him in the head with a book bag, he lets James Franco bitch slap him twice in the face.

7. James Franco is in it back in the days before we knew he had a clone named Dave.

8. Harry Osborne just forces a physicist to hang out with his friend who is failing College. Also yes Peter Parker is flunking College

9. Literally Peter is flunking everything. He can’t pay rent on his shit ass apartment with a communal toilet, his aunt is losing her house, he can’t make it to a show to see Mary Jane on stage, he’s fired constantly, everyone calls him lazy and a disappointment. Even though he is the goddamn Spider-Man saving the city

10. Aunt May is old as shit. As she should be. I shouldn’t watch a Spider-Man movie and want to FUCK Aunt May and/or watch My Cousin Vinny

11. Remember when no one knew how to make super hero movies? So Sam Raimi is just fucking making it up as he goes.

12. Why is Spider-Man at this physics demonstration? Who the hell cares UNPLUG THE MACHINE SPIDER MAN

13. Back up, why is no one like “hey Otto those arms are evil as fuck”

14. Why do the ARMS HAVE AI!?

15. In the most recent Spider-Man movie the villain wants to steal weaponry to support his family. You know grounded down to earth shit. In Spider-Man 2 the villain wants to MAKE THE SUN BECAUSE HIS ROBOT ARMS TOLD HIM TO

16. There is a reason. J. Jonah Jameson has not made an appearance in another Spider-Man film. Because if it’s not JK Simmons. Than get the fuck out. I know JK won his Oscar for Whiplash but we all know it’s really for his portrayal of J. Jonah Jameson featuring such lines as “flowers? If we spend any more on this wedding you can pick the daisies off my grave!”

17. When the evil robot arms first break bad. Sam Raimi films the scene like a classic horror film and it’s FUCKING. BRILLIANT.

18. So many good screaming women in this movie. Zoom IN ON THAT SCREAMING WOMAN HELL YES.

19. Oh back back up there isn’t a scene in this movie I think where Tobey Maguire doesn’t cry. HE IS AN EMOTIONAL SPIDER MAN AND I LOVE IT

20. James Franco cries too.

21. When PP chooses to give up being SM and “Raindrops keep falling on my head” plays to him waltzing through New York CULMINATING in a freeze frame of his dork ass smiling face.

22. He saves an adorable child who, in maybe the cutest exchange I’ve ever seen, attempts to help PP up when he’s dangling from a ledge in a burning building.

23. Doc Oc dressing like a straight up cartoon pimp.

24. Baby Elizabeth Banks plays JJ’s secretary and is so young she’s adorable.

25. The stopping the subway scene is actually literally iconic. I get tense thinking about it. He’s screaming and it clearly hurts and the subway starts to crack and break and it’s AWESOME and everyone promises not to say who he is afterwards

26. Doc Oc ruining the precious moment by forcibly scooting everyone so he can steal Spider-Man to get COMIC BOOK URANIUM TO, I SAY AGAIN, MAKE THE SUN

27. “Your father only obsessed over his work” “GOOD NIGHT BERNARD”

28. The fight choreography between DOC and Spidey is actually awesome because Doc doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing and Spider-Man is fighting 4 robot arms attached to a physicist and it’s just them punching each other and falling.

29. MJ doesn’t appear to own a bra so that’s a thrill every time she gets tossed around.

#spider man 2 #is the greatest spider man #tobey mcguire #I care only for spider man

[trashmenofmarvel]

Branded - Chapter 29

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky is back on Earth, summoned by a strange child.

(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by araniaart​ . Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)

AO3

It was cold.

Bucky was frozen, the air like a flash freeze over his skin. The warmth he’d been used to vanished as the portal closed behind him. It hurt to breathe, hurt to think. There were so many scents, overwhelming after the dry, dead air of the demon realm.

The noises pressed on his sensitive hearing: air conditions, cars driving in the distance, electric appliances and fixtures. He bent his head and covered his ears, whining, but it didn’t help.

He was accustomed to bright, endless daylight. That wasn’t the reason he squeezed his eyes shut. There’d only been one color in the world he’d escaped.

Now he was surrounded in greens and tans and blues and whites. He couldn’t see the sky; he was indoors, in a house. He couldn’t breathe. He scrambled for safety, the first spot of darkness he could find, under a twin bed. Bucky laid still, curled into a ball with his tail and wings shielding him as he trembled.

In contrast to the assault on his other senses, his sense of touch was cushioned by the carpet, so much softer than the stone floor of his cave. There wasn’t much left to his tac pants and vest, so he experienced the full effect against his skin.

Bucky nearly stretched out on it, marveling at the soft texture, but he went still. There was a second presence in the room. A pair of eyes staring at him hiding under the bed.

A human child. A girl. Couldn’t be more than ten years old.

Bucky curled himself inwards further, terrified, of what he didn’t know. Just that everything was too much and he couldn’t stop fucking shaking.

“Don’t be scared,” the little voice said. “I won’t hurt you.”

Bucky would have laughed if his abdominal muscles weren’t clenched like a vice. It was funny. Horrifying. Why wasn’t she running? Bucky hadn’t used his guise in a long time and he couldn’t summon it now, too overwhelmed to control his tenuous-grasp of magic. His wings and horns and claws were partially obscured by the shadows, but if anything, that should have made him appear more fearsome, not less.

“What’s your name?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

Bucky tried to speak but all that emerged was a choked whimper. He couldn’t even look at her he was trembling so badly. It was like a horrible withdrawal, or an adrenaline rush that wouldn’t stop. He half-wondered if he was dying, or maybe, this is what it felt like to come back to life.

“Here.”

He uncurled enough to look upwards. The girl was holding something out to him from where she knelt, peeking under the bed.

“Mr. Squiggles helps me when I’m scared,” she said with the bright confidence only a child could have. “Go on. Take him.”

Bucky stared at the stuffed animal. Its grey fur was worn, its dark eyes dull. Clearly well-loved and treasured.

He’d had a toy like that, once. A teddy bear with button eyes. He’d loved it so much, but then he and Becca had gotten sick. His parents had burned the toy, along with most of their clothing.

Even now, he could remember how upset he’d been, and how much a child’s toy meant. And this child, who’d just had a demon dropped into her bedroom, was offering it to him because he was scared.

Something surged in his chest. Gratefulness. Sorrow. A fierce protectiveness for this stupidly brave kid.

Bucky reached out to take the toy, claws shaking as he carefully wrapped his fingers around the tabby cat’s leg.

A strange sensation jolted up his arm, following by intense warmth at his shoulder, directly over his mark. And then it was gone.

“You must be hungry,” the girl whispered conspiratorially as Bucky tucked the toy against his chest. Apparently, she hadn’t noticed a thing. “I’ll get you something to eat! Stay here!”

She dashed from the room without waiting for an answer. Bucky planned to stay put, to come up with what he should do next, but at the words you must be hungry, a vast, devastating hunger hit him directly in the gut.

It wasn’t for food.

I need… I need to get out of here. His movements were panicked, clumsy as he crawled out from under the bed. I need to…

Before he could look for an escape the kid returned to the room, nearly smacking right into Bucky. He recoiled backwards away from her, putting space between them, but she only looked up in him in confusion. Then she smiled and held out the plate she carried, a sandwich perched on top. Peanut butter and blueberry jelly.

Saliva flooded his mouth as his stomach rumbled, but he dared not move any closer to her. The demon side of him had no interest in the kid, thank Christ for that, but he was still terrified of hurting her. He was designed to be a living weapon, after all. Not exactly child-friendly.

He just wished the kid would get the memo.

“Go on,” she said, smiling brightly. “Take it. I promised I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Hysterical laughter threatened to burst out of him. It was like a baby kitten trying to soothe and comfort a lion. Bucky towered over her, his wings and horns still on full display, but she just stared up at him with wonder and awe. No sense of self-preservation at all.

Figuring he would at least address one of his hungers, he took the plate from her as if it was a live grenade. Satisfied, she beamed up at him and then went to close her bedroom door.

“I don’t think my friends are coming back, they all ran away when that blue portal appeared. That’s what that was, right? And you’re a demon?”

Bucky choked on the first bite of sandwich he took.

“That’s what I thought.” She nodded sagely, the ribbons of her ridiculous pigtails flapping with the movement. “I told them I could do magic, but they didn’t believe me. Bet they will now!”

Her face fell a little as she looked past Bucky, and she mumbled, “Mom is definitely going to ground me.”

Bucky followed her gaze to the open closet doors. Extinguished black candles were scattered on the carpet surrounding what appeared to be a charred spirit board. But what really drew Bucky’s eye was the state of the closet door and the back of the closet itself: charred as if there had recently been a fire. He could still smell the stench of sulfur, and he shivered. He would not miss that place, that was for sure.

Quickly scarfing down the food—when had Bucky last had a good, ol’ fashioned PB&J?—he eyed the kid warily. She kept talking about magic and how her mother always blamed her for things catching on fire around the house, but it wasn’t her fault. On and on she went, as if she was talking to another human being and not a six-foot tall demon. She was way too damn calm for being face-to-face with the occult, but then again, she seemed like a weird kid to begin with.

He kept waiting for the voice to chime in with its opinion, but it had been silent since Bucky came through the portal. He frowned. It had promised it would be here, so where was it?

Bucky sighed and turned his attention back to the small chatterbox.

“What’s your name, kid?”

She told him, proudly and without hesitation. Definitely too trustworthy. What would have happened if it was one of those other demons that had gotten through?

He frowned further, troubled as he looked around her room. He couldn’t see anything suspicious, but the stink of other demons was still pungent to Bucky’s sensitive nose.

“Did you see anything else come through besides me?” he asked.

The kid finally lost some of her spunk as she looked down at the carpet, gripping her denim overalls tightly in her hands.

“Hey,” Bucky said, voice softer. “You’re not in trouble.”

It was strange, the more he talked to her the less anxious he was. Already he had stopped trembling and shaking, though his senses were still reeling from the influx of earthy smells and loudness of civilization.

She nodded slowly and looked past Bucky. He turned to see what she was looking at now, and this time it was her open window. They were on the second story, and it was dark outside.

“Lot of things, but they ran away. They weren’t like you.” She swallowed and gripped her clothes tighter. “They were scary.”

So, she wasn’t as unaffected as Bucky thought. Her voice was unsteady, and the smell of fear was unmistakable. Kids weren’t supposed to see things like this. Like Bucky.  She seemed fine now, but what about when she tried to sleep tonight? What about years from now when people told her she was crazy and she couldn’t trust her own memories?

Didn’t seem right. Not for a kid, and especially not one that had saved his life. Bucky didn’t know how she’d done it, but he was proof positive that magic, or something like it, was real.

Bucky turned back to look at her, sadness weighing heavily on him like a physical thing. He didn’t want her to be afraid, or worse, harmed by what had happened. Would the demons come back to this place or would they prey on other unsuspecting targets? Either way, he swore he would hunt them down. It was a small price to pay to come back to life.

But first, there was the matter of the girl. He couldn’t leave her like this, with such dangerous knowledge in her head.

As Bucky moved to give her back the plate, something deep and instinctual within him rose to the surface. The girl extended her hand and he dropped the plate, grabbed her arm and pulled her forward. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open, but Bucky’s other hand cradled her cheek as he pressed his thumb directly between her brows.

A jolt went up his arm and through his hand, straight down his thumb and into her thoughts, her memories. Surprise mixed with horror when he sensed the memories she had just created, of him and the demons and the portal, were obliterated from her mind. Just as the Chair had done to him.

Bucky released her, shocked by what he’d just done, and then was forced to rush forward as the girl started to collapse. Fearing the worst, Bucky felt along her head and neck, but she was breathing, slowly and deeply as if she’d just fallen asleep. Her face was smooth and untroubled, too innocent for what she’d experienced.

Holding her carefully, Bucky carried her and laid her down on the bed. Not knowing what else to do, he pulled the covers over her, hoping if her family came in and found her they would think she was simply asleep. She was asleep, Bucky was coming to realize. Whatever power he’d wielded had done this, and perhaps it was a small mercy she wasn’t conscious for it, but it still made him sick down to his bones.

When she woke up, she wouldn’t remember any of it, including Bucky. Perhaps… that was for the best.

With one last lingering look, Bucky strode across the room to the open window. Under the cover of darkness, he leapt from the ledge and opened his wings, catching the air and flapping as hard as he could to gain altitude.

It wasn’t until he was high in the air with the lights glittering below him that he realized his claws were still wrapped around the stuffed cat. He’d have to return it at some point, but for now, he had other, more pressing problems.

One, Bucky was starving. He was so hungry he could barely think, as if all his years of being dormant were catching up to him. The pain of it was consuming, racking his body and making him shudder midair.

And two… he had yet to hear the voice again. It filled him with emptiness, his pleas going unanswered, but he couldn’t say he was surprised. Maybe he’d gone crazy in that place. Most men would have. He was just disappointed to have been proven right, and the voice hadn’t been real after all.

He couldn’t think about any of that right how. First things first: Bucky had to feed.

Next Chapter

#demon!bucky barnes #demon!bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #branded #my fanfiction #my writing

[lynneshobbydomain]

Date Night (OwaMiki 2020 Day 3)

Prompt: Date/Kiss

Rating: T 

Summary: It’s always nerve wracking on the first date, but surely something good will come out of it.

You read under the cut or at my AO3

Mondo was leaning against his motorcycle as he waited for Mikan to come out of the girl’s dormitory, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, he wasn’t sure if she was going to appreciate this...he honestly hadn’t expected to get as far as he did. Of course asking her out had been a disaster, and he forgot that she had been a victim of a different kind of yelling. Of course, it ended it tears, misunderstandings, and a belief that it was never going to happen. He was just shocked when she approached him with her phone number and told him that it would be easier. It had been. She didn’t stammar so much and was easy to read, and she couldn’t tell if he was yelling or not. It didn’t mean that they didn’t call each other. The call log was full of their conversations. He would get excited and his voice would be loud, and she was quiet and forced him to strain his ears to understand what she was saying. They learned. They figured it out...and now he was leaning against his ride, trying to breathe normally as he waited anxiously for his woman to show up.

How long did it even fucking take to put on a dress? Mondo wasn’t about to rush her. She was probably in much of a panic as he was standing outside her dormitory. He wasn’t willing to fuck this up. He wasn’t willing to make this night turn into another disaster. He was just about to see if she was still taking her time or if she forgot when he heard the door creak open and he looked up.

God she cleaned up nice. That lacy pink dress was form fitting, showing just enough of her chest to get an idea. She didn’t wear heels, which was a huge sigh of relief. Her hair was pulled back in a half ponytail and had uneven curls. Someone must have done her make up, they only did a little bit with making her lips pinker than usual and lined the eyes. She grinned at him and rushed towards him. Mondo, already foreseeing what was going to happen, jogged towards her and caught her just before she tripped. “Hey babe.” He grinned as he steadied her. “You look sharp.”

“Hahah. Th-thank you. Yo-you look go-good too.” He was wearing the Crazy Diamond’s jacket, but he decided to wear something underneath rather than nothing. He wanted to be able to take the jacket off and still look like a king. She peered over his shoulder and she went still as a toothpick. “We’re riding?”

“Yeah! It’ll be fun! Trust me.” Mondo grinned, gently wrapping his arm around her. Don’t fuck up, don’t fuck up, he chanted in his mind as he guided her over towards the ride. It was one of his favorites. The Kawasaki was custom made to his tastes, and Kazuichi didn’t seem to mind fixing it up for him from time to time he thought of an new idea. The dark sleek paint reflected the lights around the courtyard like stars in the night sky. He couldn’t wait for her to see what those lights could look like underneath blue and red.

Not that he planned on getting caught with her. That’d ruin the date and his pride. But he could at least show it to her through the neon of the city.

Nice save.

“M-maybe I should’ve wo-worn pants or som-something?” Mikan mused. “I didn’t th-think.”

“You’re fine babe.” Mondo assured. “You look good and we ain’t goin’ do anything crazy, alright? Breathe. Nothin’s gonna happen.”

She grinned, a pretty pink on her cheeks and Mondo felt his own cheeks burn in response. Her smile was always the one thing that could freeze and melt him all at the same time. “Th-then I’m in your han-hands.” She proclaimed and he helped her onto the back of his bike. “Do I, do I need to know anyth-anything special?”

“Lean the direction I’m leaning but don’t do it too much.” Mondo instructed. “Just balance with me.” He normally didn’t ride with a helmet on, but with his girl on the back there was just no way he was going to take a chance. He went into the back of the bike and popped the small storage unit to take out the helmet. He shoved it onto her, making her squeak and he adjusted it so that it would stay snug against her. “Sorry for ruining your hair.”

“It-it’s ju-just hair.” Mikan protested. “I’ll be f-fine. Sh-shouldn’t y-you be wearing this th-though?”

“Nah.” Mondo grinned at her, “I’m not the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader for nothing! Let’s go!” He tossed his leg over the side of the bike and grinned as Mikan immediately wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing herself tight against him for balance and security. He revved the bike up and without another word, zoomed off into the night.

X

The date went as smooth as butter, in Mondo’s mind. He wasn’t willing to spend money on anything extravagant, and Mikan didn’t mind going to some of his favorite places either. She was more than willing to hold his hand or his arm, and he made sure to keep it open and free for her to claim so that she would at least have something to cling to if she was going to fall. The conversation was easy too. All in all, Mondo had a very good feeling about this. 

He parked the bike up against the railing of the bridge. No one was heading anywhere, and the view was fantastic. They were able to see the city and the lights, and watch them glitter on the river’s running current. The breeze picked up and a couple of strands brushed against Mikan’s face, framing her cheeks and catching the light from the streetlamps. 

For just one moment, Mondo truly thought he was staring at an angel of sorts. He never thought he’d see a girl look good like this. There was just...something about this scene and this moment he swore brought something out of her that he didn’t see in the school or at the restaurant.

She was really, truly good looking.

“Yo-you kn-know I woul-wouldn’t min-mind meeting your friends one day.” Mikan spoke after a moment. Mondo had to strain to hear her through the river rolling underneath them. “You se-seem to be a very good le-leader.” She beamed at him. “Yo-you take a lot of responsibility. It’s not e-easy.” 

“I don’t mind it.” Mondo shrugged as he wrapped his arms around the railing and leaned forward. He glanced at her again and she kept that smile on her face. She looked peaceful. Relaxed. She wasn’t stressed out and timid like she was during school. “I’m sure as hell they wouldn’t mind meeting you.” Considering how often they ribbed him about having a crush on the girl, he didn’t doubt it. Not once.

Mikan giggled and she brought her hands together in front of her chest, pleased as punch. “We sh-should do this again.” She said after a moment. “I didn’t th-think I would li-like riding so much. Yo-you made it a lot of f-fun!”

“Really?!” Mondo perked up a little as he pushed himself back up to standing. “Sweet! There’s so many places where I can take ya then! There’s a few places that I know that are just kickin.”

“Th-then we have a date.” Mikan grinned at him. “Ho-how did you ge-get into riding anyway? If! If I can ask!”

Mondo’s good cheer damped slightly, but if she was going to be his girl then there was no point in lying. He went back to leaning against the railing, trying to think on how to word. “My brother Daiya got me into it. The Crazy Diamonds were his first. He had a good head on his shoulders. He was faster than me. Stronger than me. I admired him. He was a fucking luantic though sometimes. The things he could do on the bike...I can only dream of doin’ now.”

“I-I’m sorry.” He felt a light touch on his shoulder and he glanced up to see that Mikan approached him on her own. Her hand gently rested on his shoulder, and her other hand was gripping her chest like she was trying to keep her heart inside. Was she nervous? About being so close to him, or was she just...trying not to panic and wonder if she had said something wrong? “Yo-you seemed sad.”

“Yeah. It’s hard to talk about. It doesn’t matter now. Bro’s dead and gone...and….now it’s up to me to make sure our gang still holds together. It’s been a damn good blast. Nothin’s gonna change that. Not graduation, not nothin’.” Mondo assured as he stood up. “I was talkin’ to Makoto the other day about what I’d do after graduation. Most of the gang’s gonna be outta high school then. We all got things we gotta worry about. The fuckin’ future and shit. You know. The stupid things.”

“Is it really that stu-stupid?” Mikan questioned and Mondo looked at her curiously. “Priorities ch-change yes. Bu-but that doesn’t mean you sho-should give up what ma-makes you happy. The-there are probably still y-younger kids tha-that’ll want to be ap-part of your gang.”

Mondo blinked slowly.

“Yo-you can hold a jo-job and st-still have fun!” Mikan continued. “D-do something fo-for a job an-and do the bik-bikes at ni-night or something. Yo-you can-can’t live on just a j-job alone. It’s not mentally healthy and you’re going to get physically sick if you only focus on one aspect of your life. There’s a reason why hobbies are such an important thing to those in the hospital and for people outside of it.”

“That wouldn’t bother you?” Mondo asked firmly as he turned his attention completely onto her. She gasped a little and stepped back. “Me doin’ my bikes and holdin’ down a job? That wouldn’t bother you?”

“N-no.” Mikan looked a little confused, but she was sincere in her stance. “I-I think that you should do what makes you ha-happiest.” She nodded after a moment. “I do medicine as a job y-yes, but I do ot-other things too. One p-part of you shouldn’t de-define the whole you. Hajime-kun ta-taught me that when I was s-starting Hope’s Peak. I was….I was so much wo-worse than I am n-now. I was so s-scared of other people’s op-opinons of me. I sti-still am! But...I’m ge-getting better.”

Mondo remembered when he saw her trip in the courtyard during lunch. How she fell and her friends didn’t bat an eye at her misery. How she didn’t mind the mockery or the teasing. She was still friends with them, oddly enough. Mondo doubted he understand their dynamic completely, but he trusted Mikan with her own decisions and friendships. He just had to be there for her when things went south as they sometimes did.

“I got real lucky with you.” Mondo concluded, and Mikan blinked. “Most girls wouldn’ want their man out ridin’. Too dangerous and it’s easy to get yourself fucked up if you ain’t careful.”

“W-well…” Mikan trailed off. “If you got h-hurt somehow...I’ll be able to tr-treat you.”

“Seriously?! You’d do that? Mikan you’re a doll ya know that?!”

“Hahaha I’m not do-doing anything spec-special!” Mikan laughed, a little nervously but Mondo pulled her into a tight embrace anyway.

“Nah, you’re pretty fuckin’ special.” Mondo disagreed as he let her go. She had such a pretty smell. Floral of some type. It wasn’t sickly sweet or overly strong either. He wondered if it was perfume or her own natural scent. She smiled up at him and for one moment the world just stopped turning. The conversation no longer really mattered.

She was….

Really pretty. She had a good heart. She was caring, compassionate. She wanted to support and he wanted to support her. He cupped her cheek with his hand and allowed the moment to push him forward. To kiss her like he should’ve done when he saw her underneath the street lights the first time. 

She didn’t pull away frightened or shocked. She pulled herself into the kiss too, as though she was also underneath the night’s spell. When they pulled away, Mondo felt like there was something new just right there. His heart never raced so fast since a bike race or a good ride. “Let’s get ya back.” Mondo said softly.

“Okay.” Mikan grinned at him and he reveled in the feeling of her arms wrapping around his waist again, holding him close. But this time, Mondo swore there was something different in the grip and the way she leaned against him. It made his heart burst into his chest.

Yeah. He gripped the handlebars tight. This was much better than any fuckin’ race.

#owamiki week 2020 #owamiki week #owamiki #mondo oowada #mikan tsumiki #first dates #first kiss #language #dangnaronpa #thh #sdr2 #dangnaronpa fanfic

[janethepegasus]

BMC Miraculous Ladybug AU RP Thing: The Return of Plasma Shock

An RP me and @pika-ace did relating to the BMC Miraculous Ladybug AU where Plasma Shock (AKA Akuma Eric) returns and Killer Wolf (AKA Akuma Jordan) makes his debut.

(Eric and Jordan were cuddling together in their sleep) (Suddenly, Raven Claw appears and scoops them up in a bag)

Eric: Wha-?! Jordan: Hey!!

Raven: Got you, you little lovebirds >:3

(He takes them to his lair and suspends the bag so it stays closed)

(Once he got into his lair, he gets to the top of the tower and puts the bag down on the ground)

Jordan: Let us out you damned psycho !!

Raven: Nope >:3c

Raven: I have a new plan involving you two

(Eric and Jordan tense)

(Raven creates two akumas)

Raven: You see, from the last time i had you two here...i turned Eric back into Plasma Shock...but thanks to your "love", he didn't last very long. However, i thought, if i akumaize one of you, the other will yank you out faster than i can blink. But if i akumaize the both of you, you wouldn't even stop each other, because you two would be under MY control! >:)

Eric: Oh god... (Jordan holds Eric) Jordan: You wouldn't!

Raven: Oh i would! >:)

Raven: Say goodbye, love birds!

(Raven Claw shoves the two akumas into their arms, one on Eric's right arm, the other on Jordan's left arm)

(Jordan and Eric scream and cling to each other in pain)

(The darkness of the akumas slowly start to consume them)

Eric: J...Jordan... Jordan: W..Will...

Eric: I...I...love...you...!

Jordan: I...love...you...! (They scream and the darkness fully consumes them) Raven: *laughs* Yes! Rise, Plasma Shock and Killer Wolf! (Two pairs of glowing eyes appear in the darkness; at the same time, Jeremy and Michael sit up abruptly as if just waking from a nightmare)

Jeremy: GAH!!

Michael: AH!! (They take deep breaths their hearts beating) Jeremy and Michael: Dad...!

(Jeremy and Michael get up from their beds)

Pula: *yawns* Mikey? Leo: What's wrong? I was dreaming about bacon...

Jeremy: I-It's dad...! Something's wrong...!

Michael: We need to go, now!!

(They transform and head out)

(They meet up on a roof) Leo: Hey. Hound: You too, huh? Leo: Yep.

Hound: So we're both worried about our dads?

Leo: Yep.

Leo: Something's definitely up. And I think we both know where we need to look. (Hound nods and the leap towards Raven's lair)

(As soon as they got close to Raven's lair, Leo gets tackled by Killer Wolf)

Hound: WHOA!! (Leo tumbles and looks up) Leo: T...Timber?!

(Killer Wolf growls and snarls at Leo)

Hound: Dad- (Just then Plasma steps out near Hound)

(Plasma grabs Hound by the neck and lifts him up)

Leo: Dad!

Plasma: Pathetic little canine! *shocks Hound's neck*

(Hound screams and Plasma throws him away; at the same time Killer throws Leo and they slam into each other)

Leo and Hound: AH!!

(They look up as Plasma and Killer stand over them) Leo: What the hell...?!

Hound: Dad...?!

Killer: *grins* Daddy’s not home. >:)

Hound: What the?!

Plasma: Children, so pitiful

Leo: What...What happened to you guys?!

Plasma: We were both given an upgrade or rather, I was given back my upgrade while Killer Wolf here is a newcomer

Killer: Yep! And it feels GREAT! >:3

Leo: How could this happen again...?!

Plasma: You can thank Master Raven Claw for bringing me back! >:3

Leo: Dad...this isn’t you...

Hound: Yeah...we know the real you...and it’s not this...!

Killer: This is the real us now. You’re just gonna have to deal with it. >:)

(Plasma and Killer grab Leo and Hound and lifts them up) Plasma: You’re coming with us >:) (Plasma and Killer drag them to Raven’s lair)

Leo: Put us down!! Hound: Stop!! (They drag them into the tower)

(They drag them up the tower and once they got to the top, Raven is there with a smirk on his face)

Raven: Well done you two >:3

(Plasma and Timber throw Leo and Hound to the ground)

Raven: Hello boys, lovely to see you again

Leo: Ow... *looks up at Raven* *growls* What did you do to our dads?! >:(

Raven: What I do best; force the darkness out of them >:3

Hound: But this isn't them! We know them! And they're not like this!! Leo: Yeah, not cool to make our dads evil! >:(

Raven: Well boo-hoo for you. >:(

Raven: These two are staying, like it or not. And i will make sure NOTHING ever brings them out from their darkness! Especially you two! >:(

Hound: W-What are you gonna do with us?

Raven: Simple, take your Miraculous and keep you prisoners! >:) *he quickly snatches Hound and Leo's Miraculouses*

Leo and Hound: NO!! (They transform back)

Raven: *to Killer and Plasma* Tie them up.

(Killer and Plasma grab them and drag them back before tying them together, back to back) Jeremy: No!! Michael: Dad, please!!

Killer: We're not listening to a bunch of runts like you! >:(

Plasma: I suggest you keep your mouths shut so we don’t have to shut them for you.

Jeremy: *starts to tear up* Please dad...don't do this...!!

Michael: *tears up* Come on, we know you’re in there!

(Killer and Plasma ignore them)

Raven: Starting tomorrow, havoc will rain on this city. If Plasma could terribly damage it, imagine what the two of you could do together!

Raven: The whole CITY would bow to their KNEES once they see the damage you two can do! >:)

(Plasma and Killer grin excitedly while Jeremy and Michael softly cry and struggle)

Plasma: I can't WAIT for my great come-back into this city! >:)

Killer: This is gonna be a blast! >:)

Michael: *softly* No... Jeremy: *softly* Dad...!

(The next morning...)

(As soon as the sun was up, Plasma and Killer started to wreck havoc through the city)

(The armada was on the scene immediately) Dasher: There's a face I never wanted to see again! >:( Stag: And he's got a friend! >:( Scarlet: Wait what? Jade: Why are you talking like this has happened before??

Dasher: *blinks* Oh, riiight! It was just a handful of us when Plasma showed up! So most of ya'll were not even there when it happened!

Stag: Man, how times have changed. Atlantic: Stop reminiscing and fill us in, asshole!! Owl: In short, this has happened before. Cyber was once forcefully akumatized by Raven Claw

Tiger: Woah WHAT?! O_O

Owl: It was one of the hardest battles we ever fought. It was the first time that we had no akuma to destroy. Plasma Shock nearly laid waste to the city and us along with it; even though there were eight of us against one, he was a force to be reckoned with

Swan: Yeah, it hard to both beat him! Thank god Jeremy saved him...

Papillion: Jeremy? Owl: It was Jeremy who figured it out. The only way to defeat an akuma that has physically merged with someone, is to force it out with the power of love. Jeremy's love was strong enough to erase the darkness consuming Cyber and bring him back to normal. I think you'll recall Jane did the same thing with Kirsty back when she became Obliviate.

Scarlet: Oh riiiight! She used her love for Kirsty to save her! :0c

Swan: But Jeremy's not here; he didn't sound off during the group text and neither did MIchael!

Dasher: Yeah, where are those two? Don't they know their dads are bad guys now?!

Owl: I don't know...they have such a strong connection they would've been the first on the scene unless...oh god...

Swan: *a bit concerned* What...?

Owl: They probably WERE the first on the scene...when these two first appeared. They faced them alone...

(The Armada tenses up)

Scarlet: Then...then where's Jere-bear...? Dasher: And...and Mikey...?

Owl: I...I’m afraid...Jeremy Heere...Holder of the Lion Miraculous...and Michael Mell...Holder of the Dog Miraculous...were killed by the hands of Plasma Shock...

(The holders all freeze in horror) Scarlet: No....no no no...not...not our Jere-bear... Papillion: Jeremy...Michael...

Dasher: No no no no no...not Mikey...! *tears up* No...no...!!

(Cloudy clings to Stag as she sobs and all the holders tear up or start to cry)

(Even Owl tears up alongside them)

(As they mourn, their anger slowly builds as they glare at Plasma and Killer wrecking the city)

Dasher: *shakes his fist in anger* Those bastards...are gonna pay for killing Mikey...!!

Atlantic: They're dead...and that bird bastard...he's gonna get it...!!

Owl: Yes...they will pay DEARLY for this...!

(The holders all get ready and rush into the fight)

(They all run towards Plasma and Killer)

Plasma: Oh look, Killer, company's arrived. >:) Killer: Fashionably late too, as expected. >:)

Dasher: You BASTARDS!! >:((((

(They go right in, with Dasher landing a punch on Plasma who shakes his head like he was just lightly smacked) Plasma: Oh joy. I remember you. -_-

Dasher: Hell yeah you remember me! Well know i remember YOU as a COLD BLOODED KILLER!!! >:(

Plasma: *dryly* I'm flattered. *he holds up his hand and blasts Dasher back with a lightning bolt* Get used to this Killer, they're all like this. Killer: *shrugs* Hey, gives me more reason to live up to my namesake. >:3

(Killer unsheathes his claws and starts attacking the other Holders)

(The fight goes on; meanwhile, in Raven's lair, Raven's overlooking the damage from his tower with Jeremy and Michael still tied up behind him)

Raven: Oh ho...this is quite amusing! >:3c

Raven: *looks back* Isn't it wonderful boys? Your fathers are a true force of nature together!

(Jeremy and Michael glare at Raven)

Michael: Asshole... >:( Jeremy: Scumbag... >:(

Raven: I know, i get that a lot! >;3c

Raven: Would you like a better seat to your family's demise?

Michael and Jeremy: NO!!

Raven: Are you sure? It's quite a spectacle.

Jeremy: And see our friends and family get brutally get beaten down is a "spectacle" in your eyes? I don't think so! >:(

Raven: Suit yourselves.

(Raven keeps watching the fight)

Raven: Goodness, those holders are giving it their all. They didn't use half as much effort last time

Raven: Look at them, using everything they got to beat those two! *looks at Jeremy and Michael* You're missing out~ >:3c

Jeremy: No thanks. >:( Michael: Fuck off, can't you put us in a  dungeon or something so we don't have to listen to you talk?

Raven: *fake sad dramatic impression* But i'm so lonely~! Having prisoners here is the only company i have~! :(

Michael: Well boo-fuckity-hoo, asshole. >:(

Jeremy: Yeah! >:(

Raven: ...I'm starting to think your fathers are a bad influence on you. >:(

Jeremy and Michael: *GASP* >:O

Raven: Oh yeah. I went there. Fuck you. >:((((

Jeremy: How DARE you call Dad a bad influence!! >:(((((

Michael: Yeah!!! Raven: Keep that attitude up and you're both getting the duct tape. >:((((

Jeremy: Oh you think we're just gonna drop the act after you INSULTED OUR DADS RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR FACES?!?!?!

Raven: I'm the bad guy moron, insulting loved ones is kinda my thing!

Michael: Yeah well...um...we can do that too! Like...y-your Mom is a hoe!

Raven: *flatly* My mother’s dead.

Michael: Oh. Um....your dad's a hoe! >:(

Raven: He’s dead too.

Michael: Umm.....your uncle's a hoe!

Raven: I haven’t seen him in years so maybe he is, who knows.

Michael: Then...! Um...YOU'RE the hoe! Yeah! You're the hoe in the family! >:D

Raven: ...Is that really the best you could come up with? Especially considering you already know how many times I’ve put my hands on your dad’s, or at least one of them >;)

Jeremy: *GASP* >:O

Raven: Oh don't be so shocked! Even i touched YOUR dad a couple of times! And i have to say, as much as i love Eric, he's a twink compared to his bulky husband! >;3c

Jeremy: Shut up!! Raven: I mean the only reason why I haven’t really gone after Jordan as much is because I prefer to be the dominant side and Eric is a lovely submissive. >;3 Michael: FUCK OFF!!!

Raven: Oh you know it's true! >:(

Raven: Now shush! I’m missing the fight.

(Raven keeps watching the fight)

(The holders fight Plasma and Killer fiercely)

(Dasher rapidly punches Plasma and Killer, while holding back tears)

(Plasma and Killer barely feel a thing)

(Dasher growls and rapidly punches them harder)

Dasher: YOU BASTARDS!!!

Dasher: YOU KILLED THEM!!! YOU KILLED MIKEY!!!

Plasma: Such a pain... (Slaps him aside) (Draco then charges in pushing against them) Draco: Get the HELL out of my students you damned bird!!!!

Killer: Get the HELL away from us you oversized lizard! >:(

(Draco pushes against them but eventually gets overpowered and tossed to the ground; he gets up and his eyes fall on Raven’s tower)

(He looks at the window and sees Raven Claw watching the fight unfold)

(He glares and his anger builds as he stares at the man responsible for corrupting Eric and Jordan, who in turn killed Jeremy and Michael; it was all because of him! ALL BECAUSE OF HIM!!)

(Draco growls and his fists shake with anger)

Draco: Spam...! *he starts to fly* SPAM...! *he zooms towards the tower at top speed* SPAAAAAAAAM!!!

(Draco flies to the top of the tower ar top speed, then he smashes through the window)

Raven: O_O Oh shi- (Draco tackles him right when he smashes through the window)

(Draco pins him down to the ground)

Draco: YOU SICK TWISTED BASTARD!!! Jeremy: Holy shit, dude! Michael: Damn!!

Draco: Not only did you corrupt MY STUDENTS but also made them KILL their own sons!! That shows me that you have no GODDAMN HEART for ANYONE besides yourself! >:(

Raven: What? You think they...! *he bursts out laughing*

Draco: What's so goddamn funny about children's deaths?! >:(

Raven: *laughing hard* Oh...oh my god...that's incredible...! *laughs* You...you're really...THAT dense?! *laughs* I never knew you were one to jump to the WORST possible conclusion! *laughs*

Draco: What the hell are you talking about?!

Jeremy: Uh...Draco? Draco: Not now boys!

Draco: *blinks* Wha... *looks at Jeremy and Michael*

Michael: Yo. *shuffles* I would do a peace sign but you know...ropes and all...

Draco: Boys...? *gets off of Raven* Y-You're...alive...!

Jeremy: Uh...yeah? Michael: Did we miss something?

Draco: ...You're...alive...Plasma Shock...didn't kill you...

Jeremy: N-No, h-he didn't- ...oh shit...! Michael: Did you guys think...?! (Raven keeps giggling on the ground, hitting the floor with his hand)

Draco: ...Y-Yes...knowing how ruthless Plasma is...we assumed that you two...were dead...

Raven: *laughs* Oh my god...fucking priceless...holy shit...! *wipes tears from his eyes*

Jeremy: *shocked* Oh god...so you guys...thought we were dead...!

Michael: Oh shit...!

Draco: Indeed...when everyone came to that conclusion...they were all heartbroken about your supposed deaths...including the Trinity brothers...and Lin...

Jeremy: Shit shit shit!! *they start to struggle* Michael: Get us out of here, we gotta get to them!

Draco: Right!

(He starts towards them but Raven gets up and steps on his tail) Raven: Did you forget that I'm here? >:3

Draco: OW! *looks behind him and sees Raven*

(The moment he turns, Raven punches him, making him fly across the room) Raven: These two hold the keys to undoing all my hard work; I'm not letting them go so easily!

(Draco hits the ground and slowly gets up on his knees)

Raven: *goes towards him* I guess I'll just have to take care of you the hard way

(Draco glares at Raven)

Draco: That's not going to happen... Raven: You honestly think you can stand up to ME alone?

Draco: Yes i do...! >:(

Raven: Alright then, give it your best shot old man. >:)

(Draco gets up and shoots fire towards Raven)

(Raven sidesteps and zooms forward, grabbing Draco by the neck and pinning him to the wall)

Draco: ACK...!!

Raven: You're losing your touch, old man. >:3

(Draco struggles madly as Raven pins him down to the wall)

Raven: You holders never learn. Every time one of you faces me alone you get pummeled.

(Draco glares at Raven)

Raven: What can you possibly do now? Draco: ...I can distract you. (He blows smoke in Raven's face, making him drop him and filling the whole room with smoke)

(Raven coughs loudly)

Raven: Insolent...! (He flies up and flaps his wings to clear the smoke, but Draco's gone, along with Jeremy and Michael)

Raven: NO!!!!!

(On top of Raven's tower, Draco lands while holding the tied up Jeremy and Michael)

Jeremy: Thanks Tobias...!

Draco: Of course...! *he unties them and hugs them* Thank god you're both alright!

(Jeremy and Michael hug back)

Michael: *blinks* Oh fuck. Jeremy: What? Michael: Our Miraculous!!!

Jeremy: *blinks* Oh shit, Raven has them!

Draco: Oh dear, this calls for another smokescreen

Draco: You two stay here while I get your Miraculous. Michael: Kay! (Draco flies down to the window but before he could send another smokescreen, he gets tackled by Raven Claw)

Raven: WHERE ARE THEY?!

Draco: Why do YOU need to know?! >:(

Raven: You know why!!

Draco: Well i'm not going to tell you! Because those two boys should NOT be in your hands ANY longer! >:(

Raven: And how are you going to stop me?! (Draco fills the room with smoke again)

(Raven coughs but clings onto Draco)

(Draco takes the opportunity to reach into Raven's pockets and grab the Miraculous)

Raven: Wha?! NO!! *tightly clings onto Draco* You are NOT getting away from me!!

Draco: I may not be able to defeat you, but all of us can manage getting away from you! *he blows a bit of fire, missing Raven, but managing to catch his cape on fire*

Raven: Missed! *looks at the cape* AHH!!

(Draco kicks him away and flies out the window while Raven puts out his cape)

(Draco flies towards Jeremy and Michael)

Draco: Two Miraculous, as ordered. ;) *hands them their Miraculous*

(Jeremy and Michael take their Miraculous)

Michael: You're awesome :D

Draco: Thanks! <3

Draco: Now, you two have to save Cyber and Timber

Jeremy: Right! Let's get our dads back! >:(

(The transform and leap back towards the fight)

(The Holders keep fighting viciously against Plasma and Killer, but then they see Draco, Leo, and Hound land on the ground)

Leo: Hey guys! Hound: Sorry we're late! ;)

(The Holders look at Leo and Hound in shock)

Scarlet: J...Jere-bear...!?

Dasher: Mi...Mikey...?!

Draco: I'm just as happy as you all right now, but perhaps we should save the reunion for when those two are dealt with. Boys? Leo: Let's get 'em! >:(

Hound: Yeah, let's get em! >:(

(Leo and Hound face Plasma and Killer; they nod and start slowly walking towards them)

(Plasma and Killer look at Leo and Hound)

Plasma: Look who's back

Killer: Guess we gotta do more than just tie ya up, cause you two aren't gonna get in our way! >:(

Leo: Dad...this isn't you. Hound: C'mon Dad...snap out of it

(Plasma and Killer glare at them, but then a Raven visor appears on their faces) Raven: No! Don’t listen to them! They’re trying to lower your guard so they destroy you! Show them no mercy! Kill them if you must!!

(Plasma and Killer nod and rush towards Leo and Hound, but they don't stop)

(Plasma pins Leo to the ground and shocks him badly, while Killer bites Hound's shoulder and shakes him around like a dog toy)

Dasher: GUYS!! (Leo and Hound endure the pain and wrap their arms around Plasma and Timber) Leo and Hound: DAD!!!

(Plasma and Killer glare at them and yanked them off of them) Plasma: Get the hell away from me you squirt!! >:(

(Leo and Hound keep clinging and talking to them) Leo: Dad, we love you!! Hound: Come back! We're not gonna let you go, no matter what!!

(Plasma and Killer keep yanking them off of them until they pin them to the ground with their foot on their chests)

Leo: Erk...Dad... Plasma: Any last words? Hound: Yeah...we...forgive...you... (They tense) Killer: ...What?

Plasma: What the hell do you mean...?

Leo: We don't...blame you...for this... Hound: No matter how hard...you smack us around...we still...love you...so much... Leo: When you turn back...don't blame yourselves... (Plasma and Killer start to shake)

Plasma: *shakes his head* No...! You pitiful children are going to die in our hands...! The men you know is GONE! *puts his hands on Leo's neck and starts shocking him*

Leo: Ack...no...you're...in...there... Hound: We know...you are... (Both boys start tearing up making the two akumas freeze, as something deep down doesn't want to see the boys cry)

(But the Akumas try to fight back against this feeling) Plasma: No...! Not again...! Not again...!! Killer: These Children...are gonna die...right here...right now...!! (Plasma shocks Leo harder while Timber slashes and bites Hound)

(The boys start to cry) Leo: Dad...please... Hound: Dad...we're sorry... Killer: S...Sorry...? Hound: That...we couldn't...save you... (Plasma and Killer hold their heads and scream as feelings start to take over)

Plasma: NO!!! NO!!! YOU ARE NOT...GOING TO TAKE OVER!!! Killer: WE'RE IN CONTROL!!! DON'T HOLD US BACK!!!!

(With the last of their strength, Leo and Hound hug Plasma and Killer) Leo: We're sorry...Dads... Hound: We...love you... (They give them a kiss on the cheek and Plasma and Killer freeze and fall to their knees)

Plasma: No...no...no...!! I will not...be pushed back...again...!! Killer: Stop...! Stop it...!

Leo: Please dad...come back... Hound: We can't...go on...without you... (They transform back and look up at them with teary eyes and Plasma and Killer start unconsciously crying as well)

Plasma: *holds his head* No...! Stop...! Stop this...! They're our enemies...! They should be KILLED in our hands...! Killer: *holds his head* Not listening, not listening...!!!

(Jeremy and Michael keep clinging to them) Plasma: No...this isn't...this...you... Killer: These boys...they...they... (The darkness begins to slowly melt away)

(But the darkness stops and Plasma and Killer start spazzing out) Plasma: NO!!! I WON’T BE PUSHED AWAY AGAIN!!! I AM IN CONTROL, YOU’RE NOT!! Killer: WE WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE OVER AGAIN!!! THESE BOYS ARE GONNA DIE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!! (The darkness comes back and melts and comes back again, as if the Akumas are fighting against Eric and Jordan in their minds)

(At that point the other holders step up) Owl: If that were true, why didn't you kill them when you first met them? Dasher: Tank...Sparky...we know you're in there... Tiger: you gotta fight this!! Papillion: We're all rooting for you! Natura: We want you back, Eric! Jordan!

(The Akumas keep fighting back against Eric and Jordan while Plasma and Killer cover their ears) Plasma: NOT LISTENING...!!!! NOT LISTENING...!!!! Killer: IF THEY CAN’T LET US KILL THESE BRATS, THEN WE’LL HAVE TO KILL THE ONES IN OUT HEADS!!! (The Akumas keep fighting back, now with intention of erasing Eric and Jordan from their minds so they can be in complete control)

Jeremy: No...! Michael: Dad...!

(The akumas keep fighting back towards Eric and Jordan, screaming and yelling about taking control and letting them to their thing. It was clear these akumas are not

gonna back down so easily like before)

Coral: What do we do?!

Owl: It's clear that something's going on in their minds...as if the akumas themselves are gaining their own consciousness through this...

Atlantic: Yeah, we got that, how do we stop it??? >:(

Owl: Let me handle this, and see if i could find a way to end this...

Jade: Alright...

(Owl walks towards the akumas)

(Owl grabs them and locks eyes with them) Owl: Knowledge of the Owl!

(Their eyes glow and Owl enters their minds. There, he saw Plasma and Killer brutally beating up Eric and Jordan)

Owl: Eric! Jordan!

(Plasma grabs Eric and shocks him badly while Killer slashes and bites Jordan)

(Owl draws his sword and knocks them away from Eric and Jordan)

Plasma: What the?! Back off you filthy bird! >:(

Owl: Why don’t you back off from my children!!

Killer: Your "children" are in the way! WE are in control! And we will not be pushed away by the love they have for those pitiful kids! >:(

Owl: Then I suppose I’ll just have to take care of you. >:(

Plasma: *hands light up* Bring it on! >:(

Eric: J...Joe...

(Owl looks at Eric and Jordan)

Owl: It’s alright...I got this...save your strength...your boys are waiting for you

(Eric and Jordan nod)

(Owl charges and starts fighting them; due to them being mental projections their strength is about even to Owl’s)

(Owl fights against the akumas, while the akumas do their hardest to beat down Owl)

Plasma: Why won’t you die?! Owl: Simple; you’re your own beings; I don’t need to worry about hurting Eric or Jordan.

Owl: But who i AM hurting is the two of you! >:)

(Owl pins the two of them and stabs Plasma’s hands with his sword, pinning him down) Owl: And I’m the one in control of your minds; IM in control now.

Plasma: NO!!!! *struggles madly* WE...ARE IN CONTROL...!! NOT YOU....!!!!

Owl: Not this time. (He removes and swords and swiftly slashes Plasma and Killer deeply)

(Plasma and Killer scream loudly in pain)

Owl: That was for Jeremy and Michael... >:( (He slashes them again and they lie on the ground unmoving)

Plasma: *on his last dying breath* No...not...again...! *dies*

Killer: Damn...you... *dies* (Owl calmly sheathes his sword)

(Owl sighs in relief and looks at Eric and Jordan)

Owl: I’ll see you outside ;)

(Eric and Jordan smile at Owl)

(Owl returns back and sees the darkness melting away from Plasma and Killer, the akuma’s flying out)

(Doves fly away from them and Eric and Jordan return)

Eric: Wha... Jordan: Holy... (They look around at the holders...and Jeremy and Michael slumped against them, having finally passed out from pain)

Eric: Jeremy...!

Jordan: Michael...?! (They cradle them) Eric: Oh god no...no no not again...!

Jordan: Michael! Michael wake up...!

(The other holders keep it together and get the two to a hospital)

(When they got to the hospital, they took them in)

(As they wait, Eric and Jordan just about cling to each other, guilt eating at them)

(Joe looks at them)

Joe: Boys...

(Eric and Jordan slightly look at Joe)

Joe: They’re going to be alright...

Joe: I know you two feel guilty for hurting your sons...but they'll be alright...trust me.

Joe: And they don’t blame you...

(Eric and Jordan still look a bit guilty)

(Just then, the doctor comes out and tells them they can see them; they go into the boys room to find them still asleep)

Jordan: Boys...

(They each go to their beds) Eric: Oh Jeremy... (They stroke their hair and they start to stir)

Jeremy: Ugh... Eric: Jeremy...?!

Michael: Mmh... Jordan: Michael...!! (They open their eyes) Jeremy and Michael: Dad...! (They reach up and hug them)

Jordan: Boys...!

(They hug them back) Eric: Oh thank god...! Jeremy: You’re back...! Michael: I knew you were still in there...!

Jordan: Yeah...we're still here...!

Eric: Boys...god we’re so sorry...!

Jordan: We're sorry...that we hurt you...!

Jeremy: We’re okay...

Michael: Yeah...we don't blame you for hurting us...

Eric: But- Jeremy: Really Dad, it’s okay...it wasn’t you...

Michael: Yeah...you guys wouldn't really hurt us...

Michael: It was all Raven’s fault...

Jeremy: Yeah...he made you guys do it...

(Jordan and Eric tear up and hug them tightly)

Jordan: Oh god...boys...

Eric: We love you so much...

Jordan: You mean the whole world to us...

Jeremy: We love you too...

Michael: We love you guys so much...

#bmc miraculous ladybug au #bmc au #squip #Jordan Ellis #spam the squip #jeremy heere #michael mell #joe iconis #tobias #lin manuel miranda #the trinity

[greekowl87]

Fic: Supposed Ghost Stories

I found this image to inspire this fic and I couldn’t start my day until I finished it. I also love Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow, don’t you? Tagging @today-in-fic and @fictober .  Set season six before ‘How the Ghosts Stole Christmas.’ Ever wonder why Mulder stole Scully’s keys in that episode?

Happy Halloween :)

Mulder shivered in the car of their rental as Scully passed him a fresh cup of hot coffee in a thin paper cup. He forgot how cold New England Halloween's could be, even beneath his jeans, long sleeve shirt, and heavy leather jacket.

"Turn up the heat, Mulder," she murmured. "It is freezing in here."

Mulder adjusted the temperatures on the heat as Scully sighed and leaned back in the seat. She closed her eyes, shivering trying to imagine herself physically fighting off the fall cold before she opened her eyes and took in the scene before her. Near to full moon that lit up the sky and stars everywhere. The abandoned dirt road which their car sat on was surrounded by eerie moonlight and fog. Essentially, it was the makings of a horror movie, Scully thought.

"Why did I agree to do this?" she questioned after a moment before turning to look at him.

"What?" he asked innocently. He attempted to bury himself in his coat. "Graveyard hunting?"

"Yes. I do not specifically recall you mentioning the exact terms. I do, however, recall you saying to the effect of 'Scully, want to do a historic tour on Massachuttes?' when you asked me to come up here."

"What? We aren't on a case. As far as I am concerned it is just two friends enjoying Halloween. Ghost hunting. In graveyards."

"Do I need to remind you we have a bad track record of casual outing in New England? You and your cockroaches three years ago and me with that doll thing last year in Maine?" she questioned. "I thought maybe, I don't know, something like 'Hocus Pocus.'"

"Salem. You wanted to go to Salem and see the museum?"

"Not necessarily. But is in a town with stuff to do and not on some side of the road in the middle nowhere." She huffed her cheeks. "So where are we exactly, since you know, we might as well make the best of it."

He smiled. This is one of the things he loved about her. She would always come with him, no matter where obscure place he would go. He gently took her hands and squeezed it affectionately. Scully closed her eyes at the contact of the instant warmth that came from him, wishing for him not to let her hand go. "Well, just for the record, I do appreciate you following me up here. I just wanted to let you know that."

She gave a snort and a small smile. "You know it is just to ensure I save your ass again."

"Always, Scully." He released her hand. "Spooky tonight, isn't it?"

She chuckled and narrowed her eyes in thought. "Is that the best pick up line that you have, Mulder?"

"I got more of them." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "But seriously, there used to be this old graveyard that Sam and I went to the Halloween before she was taken. It was one of those ghost tour things but I just can't seem to find it, honestly."

Scully gave a soft smile, touched. "Well, what other crazy Halloween traditions did you all have? I'll give you one of mine. When all of us were old enough to trick or treat, mom would make us do these group costumes. One year, we all were the Jetsons. Bill was George, Missy was Jane, I was June, and Charlie was Elroy." She chuckled in memory. "The wig I had to wear. Oh my god, I hated that thing. It was one of my grandmother's, I'm positive."

"Baby Scully as Judy Jetson," Mulder repeated disbelievingly.

"Mom has a picture. We can stop by at her home in Baltimore on the way back and I'll prove it."

"You have a deal," he laughed. "Sam and I never did anything like that but one time. She was three and I seven. I was Yogi Bear and she was Boo Boo. After that Halloween, I vowed to do my own costume every year. I've always loved Halloween though. That Halloween, I read her Washington's Irving "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" and she wanted to go look for the headless horseman. So instead of going trick or treating, we went to a graveyard to look for it."

"But isn't it Sleepy Hollow technically in New York and not Massachuttes?"

"Very good," he smiled. "And yes but I wasn't going to ruin that for her. It actually is a Germanic myth that goes back to the middle ages. But Irving tale explains the Horseman was a Hessian mercenary from the Revolutionary War who had his head taken off by a cannonball."

"And did you find it?"

"No, but I scared her real good like a big brother is supposed to." His smile faded. "That was the last Halloween we spent together before she was taken."

A comfortable silence settled between them. Scully glanced at the clock on the dash. "What do you say we head back to the hotel, Mulder? It's one a.m. We can get some gas station grub and watch "The Blob" till sunrise."

"What? You don't want to see if any ghosts come a calling?" He was already turning the key on the car, restarting the idle engine back to life.

"I'm freezing, Mulder. My toes are ice cubes."

"I wanted to do something fun with you this year," he replied, "especially after last year."

The unspoken silence about the cancer.

"Well, unofficial ghost hunts may be fun, but what is, even more, fun is a warm hotel room and scary movies. Come on, Mulder."

Mulder switched the car into gear, gently easing off the gravel shoulder and back on the fog covered road. "It's a pity really. Tonight's weather makes a perfect atmosphere."

"I would rather watch a movie than experience it tonight. We're off the clock, remember?"

"Fine, fine," he conceded.

Mulder began to speed up slowly, wary of the fog and woods and the chance a stray deer barreling into their car. Scully leaned forward to switch on the radio on but frowned when all she could hear was static. "Hm. That's strange. We had a radio signal out here when we first arrived."

"Probably the weather."

As they drove cautiously along, with only the silence and the sound of the engine, hanging in between. But then the neigh of a horse that was loud, clear, and echoed otherworldly. Mulder glanced at Scully and slowed the car to a stop. "Do you think..."

"No. It is a ghost story, Mulder. That's all."

They heard the neigh again, closer and louder this time. She was the first to get out of the car, with her gun and flashlight in hand. "Scully!" he called as she slammed the car door and walked in front of the headlight purposefully.

Grabbing his own flashlight, he stood out in front of the headlights, shining his own flashlight out into the dark night. They heard a horse's neigh again. It was coming closer. Mulder's hairs were standing on end and, while it was highly likely it was nothing, he reached for his own gun. "It's probably a figment of my imagination."

"A figment that we're both hearing?"

Now they could hear galloping, the rhythmic noise of horseshoes cobbling the asphalt. "Mulder," she said cautiously. Her blue eyes darted to him. "This isn't funny. Stop joking around."

"Scully, this isn't me, I swear it."

As the galloping came closer, she raised her weapon. "Stop! I'm a federal officer!"

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What good is that going to do?"

She flared her nostrils, smelling sulfur. What was burning? In a flash that blinded them, she saw the outline of a headless figure and a black horse. "The fuck..." Mulder began.

The headless figure swung a cavalry saber skillfully as the horse neighed loudly, standing on his hindquarters. Without thinking, Scully emptied her entire magazine into the figure which seemed unaffected by the hail of 9mm bullets from her sig.  Mulder grabbed her forearm forcefully and pushed her to the passenger side of the car. "Get in, Scully. Just get in!"

Not being needed to told twice, she rushed into the car as Mulder jumped into the driver's seat and slammed the gas. He maneuvered the car in quick j-turn as they sped the opposite way down the road. Scully kept looking behind her for the headless rider but saw nothing.

"Mulder," she breathed. "I think it's gone."

"I'm not going to stop driving until we're back at the hotel." He gritted his teeth. "I swear I had nothing to do with that. I honestly do think that was the horseman."

"Mulder that is a legend, a ghost story that is told on Halloween."

"Well, what was tonight?"

Scully arched an eyebrow. "Mulder, that is crazy. Just because it is Halloween..."

"Makes sense, Scully."

"I don't know what the hell we saw but it was not the headless horseman!"

"Suit yourself, but I'm not stopping until we get back to the hotel. Speaking of hotel, do you mind if I spend the night with you?"

"What? Ghost story scare you, Mulder," she teased. Truth be told, she was shaken up herself and thought it was a good idea. The look he gave her indicated he was completely serious. "Well, I suppose a sleepover and horror movie night might be doable."

"Well, then we better stop off and get some candy just to be safe," he said cautiously, easily navigating the heavy air still in between them.

"Yes," she agreed. After a moment, she spoke once more. "Mulder, the next time you ask me to go on a ghost hunt with you, you're going to have to steal my car keys in order to make me."

"I'll remember that, Scully," he answered, his thoughts already rolling in his head for what he could plan for her at Christmas.

#xfiles #xf fic #xf fanfic #msr #msr fic #mulder #scully #halloween #ghost hunting #humor #legend of sleepy hollow #headless horseman

[scramblednoodle]

Day 1

So here we are.  Last we talked, I was contemplating the concept of death, and the way I approached it.  That was...2019?  My friend with ALS died.  Bean died.  And then J and I had the most amazing trip of our lives, a distraction we sorely needed, a trip across the country over 30 days and 8500 miles, camper trailer in tow.  Amazing time, amazing trip.  Did we do Burning Man?  I think we did Burning Man.  Then CFT, then the holidays, then 2020 came around, and we did Further Confusion, with Vardaman gigs interspersed between.

And then Covid19 happened.

I don’t want to talk about all of the things that have happened since then.  I’ll give a summary, though.  We found VR and found a whole new dimension of socializing.  We’ve made a TON of friends, more than we have ever made at any con, and maybe more than we’ve made at many of those cons combined, and we’ve gotten closer to some of our existing friends.  I’ve lost a ton of weight.  We got a kitten.  We’ve stayed home, we don’t eat out, save for the occasional Taco Bell/Papa Murphy’s take-out.  A lot of stuff has been done at home and with the house.  We got a 3d printer, a kegerator, and a freeze dryer.  Life has slowed down, but time has sped forward, and the two are oddly disjunct.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.

See, sitting at home, doing things, and not being distracted by going out all the time has caused a certain amount of reflection.  A LOT of reflection.  I’ve had to face some things, and as a result, I’ve realized some things.  Last year I started having a gender identity crisis.  This mulled around in my head, until I slowed down, until life calmed down and I was forced to delve deep and explore this.  Early this year, shortly after FC, I admitted that I was trans, to myself, and to those that know me.  I came out on Twitter, to massive amounts of support.  I mean, folks who knew me well probably weren’t all that surprised, except that it took me so long.  To others, maybe it broadsided them, but I have thought of myself as “she” for so long, and been called “She” or “Lady” or “Her” or “Mistress” or whatever for so long, maybe it got taken for granted.

I was undecided on transitioning, but always kept the option open.  Since I’d been losing weight, I set a goal:  if I could hit 220, I would “consider” transitioning.

Let’s go back to the cross-country trip.  I stopped shaving during that trip.  I grew a great, big, Pacific NorthWest beard.  MANLY beard.  Bushy in all the right ways.  I got complimented on my beard.

I started to hate my beard.

Denial-beard, it’s called, amongst some transgender folks.  For my birthday this year I bought the nicest electric razor I have ever in my life owned, and was more expensive than my last 4 electric razors combined.  For my birthday, I shaved my denial beard.  It was the first time I had entirely removed my facial hair in years, and certainly the first time without it AND embracing my transgender self.

I loved what I saw in the mirror.  I loved her so much that I decided that my goal of hitting a weight and then transitioning was purely a projection of my continued belief that in order to physically become the woman I am inside, that I had to be svelte.  Thinner.  Sleeker.  Beautiful.

What a bunch of rubbish.

I saw myself as a woman in the mirror for the first time in my life, and I felt nothing but giddy joy.  I’m starting to tear up at the memory of it.  Do you have any fucking idea how HARD it is to look at yourself in a mirror for FORTY THREE YEARS and hate yourself?  I bet more than one of you do.

Between 2007 and 2009 I went from 308lbs to 175lbs.  I looked GOOD.  I had hot men wanting to touch me, to fuck me.  It was nice to be liked.

I hated who I saw in the mirror.  And I eventually hated what being fit and thin and desired turned me into.  A Fitness TYRANT.  My way or no way.  I started to look down on those who could not do what I did.  It was gross.

Harley died, work went to shit, and over the next 10 years or so, I put most of the weight back on.

Still hated who I saw in the mirror.

And then, thanks to Covid, I saw a woman in the mirror, and for the first time, I understood.

Fuck the weight goal.  I talked to my therapist.  I needed a head check.  Is this me?  Am I doing the right thing?  Is this a phase?  A phase, LOL.

I’ve presented as a woman online since 1997.  It started as an excuse to have cyber with straight guys; at least. that’s what I told myself.  It felt comfortable from day 1.  Over the years, my male characters either fell to the wayside, or became women themselves.  So easy, transitioning in a side reality.  Very few people would judge, and those who did would easily be blocked or ignored.  I felt comfortable.

When I started to date Kiteless, many years ago, his circles had no problems with she/her pronoun with relation to me.  After all, I was not the only dragoness with a misidentified physical body.  It was...nice.  For the first time, I felt like I could be accepted.  I WAS accepted, as who I felt I was.  That persisted, and continues to persist.  When I started dating J, he would always refer to me as “Lady”.  He never had a problem with my gender, though it took him a while to realize that it was not just a kink for me, that I was not doing it to tease him, but that I was doing it because it was how I felt comfortable.  I think he understands it now.

Speaking of understanding, it was about the time I decided to go through with HRT that the real wall started to erect itself.  Something that grew and grew, and grew strong.

My Dad.

Don’t misunderstand, it wasn’t anything he did or said.  My dad is Puerto Rican, and he’s Military.  He lives and breathes the US Army, even though he’s long retired.  I don’t think he understands how to function back in the world.  I don’t think he can handle the entropy.  Or at least, it’s not an entropy he understands.  But this makes him subject to, let’s just say, a rather blunt, lopsided, and sometimes outdated view of the world.

How in the hell would he accept that his son was going to become his daughter?

So I started to build this wall in my head.  Out of bricks that I made myself.  Bricks based on assumption and self-projection.  I have ever been my own worst enemy, and this was no exception.

There is a memory, a very NOT FOND memory I have.  Before I left home, before I escaped from under HIS roof (and he never let us forget that), my parents found out I was gay.  At one point, my dad and I got into an argument, and he said “They need to take you out like that kid in Colorado and beat you.”  He was referring to Matthew Shepard, a gay college kid who was beaten severely in Laramie, WY, and later died in Ft Collins, CO.

I’ve never forgiven my dad for that comment.  I don’t know if I ever can.  The comment came from a place of ignorance and anger, but it came from him, it came from within, and it was directed at his child.  I will never forget that moment, and that moment will forever color the way I interact with him.

SO!  You can understand, perhaps, why I was terrified of telling him.  Despite our rocky relationship over the years, I do love my dad, and he’s the person in the world that, for a long time, I most wanted approval from.  In a way, I still do, and I will probably always want his approval.  Now, my mom accepted who I was without issue.  She’s always been supportive, though there was a time when I think she was hurt that I would never give her grandkids. :P  She follows me Twitter, so it was pretty clear to her what was happening with me, though she somehow missed the big news, that I was going to transition.

It was hard to tell her, but as I expected, she was supportive.  Very supportive.  I’m blushing just thinking about it, the feeling of my mom calling me her girl.  I never would have thought I’d get to this point.

When I first broached transition with my therapist, after much handwringing and self-questioning, the expectation was that I was going to start a long process of approval.  I would need to go through my Primary Care physician, then see an endocrinologist, then get a letter of recommendation from my therapist, then be evaluated for medications.  My doctor was a small-town, country doctor who didn’t listen, and whose answer to everything was Flonase.  He was OBSESSED with allergies and nasal steroids.  I was really dubious he’d be on-board with helping me transition.  So, of course I changed PCPs.  J and I were already super dissatisfied with him, so it was a no-brainer.  Ended up at OHSU, with a primary care doc who specialized in gender confirming action and therapies.  We talked.  I got a lab panel done.  And then suddenly she was prescribing me estrogen and testosterone blockers.

My expectation of 6 months was suddenly obliterated, and boy did the doubt start.  Am I doing the right thing?  Oh my god, I’m not ready for this.  I was supposed to have SIX MONTHS, and it took ONE AND A HALF.

Things moved fast after that.  A few more doctor appointments.  Some medication research.  Some frozen sperm, just in case.

Yesterday was...a roller coaster.  Yesterday, the meds showed up in the mail.  Yesterday, I got the notification that my sperm was accepted into the sperm bank and was healthy and viable.  Yesterday, I called my mom, and we talked for almost 2 hours.  It was a lovely conversation.  And I asked her to help me tell my dad.

A very short while later, I received a message from my dad.  It was cryptic, but Dad is ESL, so he doesn’t really enunciate the way most folks do.  Blunt, coarse, direct, and with odd modifier choices.  Nonetheless he made one thing clear.

He loved me no matter what.

I cried for 30 minutes straight.  My paper towels were a sopping mess of tears and snot.  I was a mess.  

I also felt more free than I’ve been in a long, long time.  That wall I built got torn down, and good riddance.  *I* built that wall, out of my own fear and projected doubts.  It was a real wall.  Those fears were real feelings.  Unfounded, but REAL.  And they’ve finally crumbled.  Finally.

I took my first HRT pills this morning.  As I understand it, I’ll be on them for at least 3 years, assuming I stick with it.  I can expect a second puberty before any physical changes.  In 6 months or something, physical changes will begin to occur, but right now I’m just...Well, my head is spinning.  I still have doubts, but since yesterday, they’re quieter.  They’re less pronounced.  They’re mostly based around trying not to get shanked by a Good ‘Ol Boy.  The usual.

And now we come to today.

Today is a special day.  Today is my Day 1.  Today begins the rest of my life.

I’m scared, I’m excited, I’m nervous, I’m giddy.  I am as confused a jumble as I ever was.  But I’m pretty sure of one thing:

This is right.

My intent to is journal things now and then.  Thoughts, worries, etc.  We’ll see how it goes. )

Peace, y’all.

#transgender #transitioning #self doubt #hopeful #anxiety #joy

[hollowaydivision-blog]

Lemongate: An F.A.Q.

What is Lemongate exactly?

Well, first of all, I'd like to thank you for not immediately dismissing the whole post as soon as you see the word 'lemon' separated from the word 'cakes'.

Oh. You don't have to thank me - how could I know whether I should dismiss it until I read the whole post? Speaking of which, can you get on with it? I still don't know what Lemongate is.

Lemongate is a fan term for the ongoing mystery of the House with the Red Door, Daenerys and Viserys' childhood home. Daenerys believes the Red Door is in Braavos, but the most prevalent aspect of her memory is the lemon tree outside her window - and we've been told multiple times, in multiple different ways, in multiple different books, that lemon trees don't grow in Braavos.

So what?

Well, on its own we might suspect author error. After all, the house with the red door memories were introduced in Daenerys I AGOT, and we didn't really get a thorough examination of how completely opposite Braavos is to the memories Dany has of her childhood until AFFC. Yet the lemon hints are present before that; in fact, lemons are the most prominent fruit in our story, having been focused on specifically from the beginning in Sansa and Arya's love of lemoncakes. And furthermore, nothing else about Dany's memories fit with the Braavos we know. She remembers sun, and grass, and hot, sweet smells - but the weather in Braavos is either rain, fog, or freezing rain.

You have the quotes to back all of this up, right? Because I get a sense of where you're going with this and I do not like it sir, not one bit.

Yes, I do, and you can find them elsewhere if you do some googling - but this is a quick FAQ about the lemon trees, not the resulting theories people have made concerning its meaning. To reiterate: this is not a thread debating parentage, or lineage, or major plot points likely to polarize a vast majority of the fan community. I simply want to clear up any misunderstanding regarding George's deliberate insertion of the lemon tree discrepancy.

But the tinfoilers believe that the lack of lemon trees in Braavos is proof Dany didn't grow up there, and thus isn't the son of Aerys and Rhaelle Targaryen - which is clearly true.

Is it? Because a frail woman who's physically abused and has had six miscarriages already seems unlikely to successfully bear a child in the middle of the "greatest storm in living memory." And there are a number of other odd things about a pregnant Rhaelle supposed flight to Dragonstone - for instance, Daenerys and Jaime's recollection of of Rhaelle's flight is wildly different - for instance, Dany believes that Viserys accompanied the pregnant Rhaelle, but we have no idea if this is true.

But as for Dany not being the child of Aerys and Rhaella, why is that such a tough pill to swallow? Our male lead has a secret heritage that will seemingly grant him access to powers and put him in positions to Save The World From The Others - why not our female lead?

Well I have nothing against that per se, but my understanding of the Lemongate theory is that it eventually results in the deeply unsatisfying B+A=J, R+L=D. Is this true?

I'm glad you asked! Absolutely not. This is not necessarily true. Sure, there is a case to be made for it with several convincing points of evidence - for instance, Dany seems to have Lyanna's natural ability to ride a horse, which is a big part of what helped her fit in with the Dothraki. But there are other ways to go with the idea that Dany's past is not all it seems and her parents may not be who she thinks than polluting our savior Jon Snow's Tower of Joy birth and Targaryen lineage. The point is, R=L=D can be reasonably called a "tinfoil" theory but Lemongate is fully confirmed fact.

Note the irony in the name - it's not just a reference to conspiracy theorists - it's a reference to Watergate, where Nixon managed to rule over the people using false and deceptive pretenses. If Dany is someone else and not actually the heir of House Targaryen, and the lemon trees point to her lack of true legitimacy, she would be an apt parallel to Nixon (and Jon and Euron, who also won "fair elections" through magical and political manipulation).

Wait, wait, back up. How is Dany not the true heir of House Targaryen? I thought you said Lemongate didn't necessarily mean R+L=D?

I did indeed. And while R+L=D would make Dany a bastard (even with a heart tree marriage, polygamy is not legitimate) and behind "Aegon" in the line of succession, we should remember why we always call him "Aegon" and not Aegon. Even a bastard inherits before a pretender.

But let's say R+L=D isn't true. Then we have to look around for a new set of parents. There's an ample supply of Dead Ladies for potential moms - with the leading candidates being Lyanna, Ashara, and Wylla (not dead but I can't imagine anyone getting to interview her anytime soon), and the Fisherman's daughter (Godric Borrel's story about Mama Snow has Ned impregnating a fisherman's daughter and leaving her with a sack of silver and a bastard - a story I believe to be a complete falsification designed to trick Davos and through him eventually trick Jon). There's also an equally ample supply of randy gentlemen with important bloodlines - though Brandon, Ned, Aerys, and Rhaegar seem like the clear front-runners as potential fathers for our two leads.

You're losing me fast, Holloway. Daenerys is clearly a Targaryen. She hatched fucking dragons.

You're right, she did. And hatching dragons is something the Targaryens haven't been able to do for hundreds of years. Incredible luck that Dany was the first one to pull it off. Incredible luck - or the "blood of the dragon" had gone dormant in House Targaryen, but could exist in another house. Because Daenerys is not definitely a Targaryen. She's definitely a Valyrian. We know this ipso facto from her silver hair and purple eyes. But do you know what other house has silver hair and purple eyes? House Dayne, a house so ancient and revered that the legend of Starfall goes back to the Dawn of Days. If there is "blood of the dragon", as the nobles of the Freehold believed, House Dayne is one of only four ancient Westerosi families besides the Targaryens with Valyrian features consistently present in their bloodline.

Wait, so you're saying Dany is the daughter of Ashara?

Well, it offers an explanation of why Ned tried to hard to protect Daenerys in AGOT and felt so guilty when he thought he had failed - he was in love with Ashara at one point, and if he knows Ashara is Daenerys' true mother, he may have felt an obligation to protect her - even at the risk of the realm. I'm sure we can all think of an ex we're not really over and would do stupid, irrational things for. And furthermore, Brandon and Ashara were together in King's Landing approximately nine months before Jon Snow and Dany enter the story, and Ashara is said to have "lost" a daughter in childbirth. And there is a straight up statement that she looks like Ashara’s daughter.

Even after all these years, Ser Barristan could still recall... those haunting purple eyes. Daenerys has the same eyes. Sometimes when the queen looked at him, he felt as if he were looking at Ashara’s daughter ...

..But again, this thread is not to push any particular parentage theory. It's simply to point out that without a doubt, Lemongate - the Braavosi weather issue - is real.

You keep saying "Lemongate is real, Lemongate is real." I think it's time we saw some quotes.

Fine. We first hear all about Dany's Lemon Tree in the first two books - it even appears on-page in her temptation in the House of the Undying. I'll spare you those quotes, but books 1 and 2 establish the template in Dany's memory, the reliability of which books 3, 4, 5, and 6 promptly and enthusiastically undermine. Basically, we're hammered over the head with two facts: Lemons DON'T grow in Braavos, but Dorne is FAMOUS for them.

For instance, Sharna the innkeep is requested to roast a duck with lemons, as a Dornish girl once did.

"Lemons. And where would we get lemons? Does this look like Dorne to you, you freckled fool? Why don't you hop out back to the lemon trees and pick us a bushel, and some nice olives and pomegranates too." She shook a finger at him.

And on the opposite side of the spectrum, we visit Braavos, we see the climate is completely unsuitable. And just in case we didn't (or chose not to) recognize it, GRRM has two guards have a half-page conversation about it in a TWOW sample chapter.

"Seven hells, this place is damp," she heard her guard complain. "I'm chilled to the bones. Where are the bloody orange trees? I always heard there were orange trees in the Free Cities. Lemons and limes. Pomegranates. Hot peppers, warm nights, girls with bare bellies. Where are the bare-bellied girls, I ask you?"

"Down in Lys, and Myr, and Old Volantis," the other guard replied. He was an older man, big-bellied and grizzled. "I went to Lys with Lord Tywin once, when he was Hand to Aerys. Braavos is north of King's Landing, fool. Can't you read a bloody map?"

And just to double down because he can, GRRM includes another reference in another TWOW chapter, where Arya's sister and dramatic counterpart makes the opposite observation.

For me, Alayne thought, as they wheeled it out. Sweetrobin loved lemon cakes too, but only after she told him that they were her favorites. The cake had required every lemon in the Vale, but Petyr had promised that he would send to Dorne for more.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was following /westerosmeteorology.tumblr.com

You're the one who asked for quotes. But yes, let's move on. I won't bombard you with all the other asynchronous Essentially what we have are two mysterious Valyrian mothers (Rhaelle and Ashara), two mysterious Valyrian fathers (Aerys and Rhaegar) and two mysterious "half-a-horse" Starks (Brandon and Ashara).

But wait! What about the courts and the gardens-

-of the mighty, yes yes. Here's the quote:

"There's no more wood." Dareon had paid the innkeep double for a room with a hearth, but none of them had realized that wood would be so costly here. Trees did not grow on Braavos, save in the courts and gardens of the mighty.

The contention of Lemongate deniers is that of course Dany could've been raised in Braavos - in one of those courts or gardens of the mighty. Hence, the lemon tree. There are two problems with this. First of all, let's address the Sealord's Palace and why it doesn't fit: Daenerys associates the House with the Red Door with a peaceful, isolated, happy life. In other words, the last Targaryens were trying to keep a very low profile. Being kept as a political capital by the Sealord in a magnificent palace with hundreds of rooms and a friggin' zoo is something Dany would remember. Second, just because the "mighty" can afford trees doesn't mean they can magically create a climate in which citrus trees can grow. After all, I think Dany would also remember if her treasured house of childhood innocence was encased in a giant Myrish greenhouse.

Okay, admittedly the difference in climates and the association of lemons with Dorne is pretty glaring. But I can't help but feel whatever this is leading to is inextricably linked to parentage, and I'm afraid the result might infringe on the one absolute certainty about the books to come: Rhaegar + Lyanna = Jon. After all, it has been literally confirmed by the show.

As GRRM would say, "the show is not the books." Yet I do feel that some discussion of the show is relevant here. Let's compare to another big book-only twist. In the books, Mance is swapped out for Rattleshirt, who burns in his place. The Rattleshirt we meet later is Mance in disguise. In the show, Mance is burned, plain and simple - but seemingly just to poke fun/clarify for book readers, the showrunners went to the effort of recasting and reintroducing Rattleshirt just so Tormund could beat him to death moments after running into him.

In other words, that's Dan and Dave saying "We're not doing this plot, guys."

Now compare to this scene in the show, where Arya, chased through Braavos by the Waif, literally slams into hundreds of citrus fruit being peddled by Braavosi merchants, scattering them all over the screen.

There's even a gratuitous closeup of an orange - a reference to the Godfather, a traditional symbol of impending death in cinema and literature, a way to add color - but maybe also a way of saying, "We're not doing this plot, guys."

Okay, okay, okay. Talk about weather and ambigious shots of lemons and random mentions of the lack of trees in Braavos all you want - it doesn't come close to confirming that Dany's red door memories are significant. Short of author confirmation, I'm sticking with Occam's Razor.

Once again - NOT arguing R+L does or does not equal J or D. I personally hate arguing about secret lineage. I am just pleading with the community to accept that George has included the lemon tree discrepancy on purpose and it is significant.

Fortunately, you don't have to take my word for that. I do actually have author confirmation. GRRM was asked this on Livejournal:

Dany remembers a lemon tree outside the house with the red door in Braavos, but citrus trees shouldn't really grow in Braavos's cold, foggy climate. Is this discrepancy significant? Does it point to future revelations about Dany's past? Thank you so much.

And in a very uncharacteristic fashion, he responded not with "keep reading," but with an outright confirmation of its importance. I hope you'll forgive me for putting this in big bold letters.

“Very perceptive of you.

Yes, it does point to . . . well, that would be telling.”

Source from Livejournal

Instead of acknowledging author error - which he does when applicable - or give his usual cryptic response, he straight up said "Yes, it is important" and implied that the questioner was perceptive for questioning Dany's past.

He really said that?

Yes. He did.

Wow... but why would Viserys agree to protect to Dany? Especially if her claim to the throne is better than his own?

The number one reason is he needed a relative to marry off for alliances - how else to secure any sort of decent army? But let's not forget that Aerys made Viserys his heir, disinheriting Rhaegar and all his kids. So whoever Dany was, Viserys was undeniably the true king. But yes, if Viserys has spent his life lying to Dany, it's possible Viserys had a lot of resentment over this, and that contributed to his eventual pattern of sadism toward Dany. He was a very complicated character with relatively little impact on the story. Then again, Viserys was six at the time they fled, and we don't know if he even accompanied Rhaelle to Dragonstone. If she had a stillbirth and Daenerys Doe was swapped in, perhaps Viserys never knew. Then again again, he's old enough to know they definitely didn't grow in Braavos.

I really don't like abandoning my preconceptions for the series, especially on such fundamental points as Jon Snow's parentage.

Again, I am not arguing for you to do that. Yes it is a coincidence that Dany seems to have been born in Dorne and born toward the end of the war, just like Jon. But there are many ways that R+L=J is compatible with Lemongate. I just wanted to get the facts of the Lemongate situation straight so we can jump into what it may really mean - because it is there for a reason.

Is this just you and some other crazy fans? Or is there anyone in the story who actually brings this up, and tells Dany that the House with the Red Door is anything more than a pleasant memory?

Yes. Quaithe. Quaithe all the time. Quaithe tries to get Dany to “remember who she is” and “go back” every chance she gets.

Well, if Lemongate not in there for some lame parentage reveal, then what?

Well, in my opinion Jon is Ned's son through his upbringing, through and through, and I don't know how not-lame any parentage reveal would be, R+L=J included. But beyond that, I don't know what Lemongate really means. Here's some thoughts:

Why did Oberyn try to raise Dorne for Viserys? Did he and Doran have Viserys in his possession - perhaps in Lemonwood?

Why has GRRM written the Sealord of Braavos as a man on his deathbed, so he will never be able to confirm the supposed marriage pact or any sheltering of Daenerys?

Why did Leyton Hightower freak out the same year Dany and Viserys were kicked out of the House with the Red Door? Was that the year he learned about Aegon, and suddenly realized he'd been sheltering the wrong Targaryen the entire time?

Anyway, these are obviously all frequently asked questions whenever this subject comes up, but the instant rejection it’s met with (even more than Tyrion Targaryen) usually prevents clarifications being made for people. I really, really would appreciate it if we could just accept the Lemongate/Braavosi climate contradiction, and extrapolate from there. All theories, and any other questions you may have, are welcome! I hope this post was at the very least informative, and hopefully minimally offensive. Thank you for reading!

TL;DR: Lemongate is the simple, irrefutable fact that Dany's House with the Red Door was not in Braavos. This does NOT mean R+L=D, and it does NOT disqualify R+L=J. However, it IS a clue of some importance, as confirmed by George himself. Let's start by accepting that, and work from there. What other twists could Dany's false childhood be leading up to?

#daenerys targaryen #daenerys stormborn #rhaella targaryen #aerys targaryen #dorne #braavos #lemon tree #lemons #red door #viserys targaryen #quaithe #george r.r. martin #lemongate #asoiaf #lyanna stark #brandon stark #ned stark #wylla #dragonstone #doran martell #oberyn martell #sealord #rhaegar targaryen #jon snow #illyrio mopatis #asoiafmeta

[tessatechaitea]

Superman: Up in the Sky #1

If Superman throws a single punch in this series, I'll quit writing comic book reviews forever. Or I'll call Tom King a hack. One of those!

If I were going to write a Superman series, I'd embrace the biggest problem everybody says they have with Superman: he's so powerful that he's boring. He would never encounter a threat to his physical safety. He would never say stupid shit like, "That actually hurt!" He would never fucking raise a fist to anyone! Why would he need to?! The story would never be about Superman getting his ass beat by the new biggest threat he's ever faced until the big climactic moment where he stands back up and finally knocks the crap out of the villain. I wouldn't even try to trick the readers into feeling some kind of tension that Superman might not be able to handle the big threat. He'd do it easily, issue after issue. Everybody would know that he was going to save the world. But would Superman be able to save Metropolis blindfolded with both hands tied behind his back because some sick kid requested he do it? Make all the drama happen in Clark's work life and his relationship. Will he be able to save the world and make it to Lois's big award ceremony? Can he plan Jimmy Olsen's bachelor party in such a way that Jimmy discovers his fiance is a demon from Hell on his own?! Get fucking imaginative, Superman writers! All of the stuff I'd do, I'm expecting Tom King to do! Man, I'm really getting my hopes up, aren't I?! Tom King probably isn't even going to like the pedestal I've built for him!

Tom King is a hack!

Actually, that was page one and it's the moment after Superman threw that punch! So I don't think it counts as Superman throwing a punch in this series. King probably began the series like this on purpose! That's the last punch Superman is ever going to throw and we didn't get to see it in this series. Because it's all we've seen all the time always! And why?! It's especially galling when Superman punches a regular human. He could seriously injure somebody that way! If I were Superman, my main move would be picking up criminals by the scruff of their necks and wagging my finger in their faces. Above Superman and the robot are narration boxes that say, "Clark. I need you." My guess is that they aren't the robot's thoughts. I bet it's Perry J. Jameson. No, that doesn't make sense since the statement doesn't end in five exclamation points and a swear word. I guess the clue as to who is saying it lies in the gray coloring of the boxes and the little bat symbol inside them. Batman is on a case that he can solve on his own and doesn't need Superman's help at all. What he needs from Superman is for him to tell a little girl that her foster parents and two of her siblings are dead. Obviously Batman can't do that because it would mean scaring the shit out of a little girl. Also it would sort of look like failing to save the girl's family was Batman's fault somehow which it definitely wasn't. Batman hasn't failed to stop random violence for thirty years even though he vowed to. He probably would have if the medium of comic books wasn't stuck in a constant present. People sometimes think it's ridiculous that The Joker is always getting out of Arkham and murdering people. Sometimes they even suggest maybe Batman is at fault a little bit for not killing The Joker. But what they don't realize is that The Joker is always both in and out of Arkham. Batman never really catches The Joker but he also always catches The Joker and he may, in fact, have only caught The Joker the one time (but in a million different ways). If you want to take comic book canon seriously, might I suggest first getting a lobotomy? I thought maybe Superman was going to comfort the girl because that's a job for Superman. But instead he grills her so he can get all of the details for a Clark Kent exclusive. Unless maybe he's just trying to get a lead. But why would he need a lead? Batman is on the case! Superman should just stick to doing the jobs meant for Superman, like making little girls feel better and writing complimentary articles about himself under a pseudonym.

Superman is nothing more than the journalistic version of an ambulance chaser. Also, um, what does "Kansas isn't in Kansas anymore" mean?

Superman's job for this issue is to find the missing girl. You might think that's Batman's job. But Batman's job is to punch the person who took the girl until that person is hospitalized with internal injuries that won't kill him (because that's wrong) but will force him to use a colostomy bag for the rest of his life. Hey, he knew the probably consequences of crime in Gotham! Superman doesn't think of finding the girl as a job. His job is to easily dispatch dinosaurs in downtown and easily stop asteroids from colliding with Earth. His passion is saving little girls. It's all he thinks about while the comic book images portray him doing his job. Just as easily as I said I'd write Superman saving the world. I think maybe Tom King and I are on the same page.

Tom King is a hack!

I don't know. I guess it's okay to show Superman punching a guy with an atomic skull. Or is that the opposite of okay?! Shouldn't you handle nuclear material carefully? Punching Atomic Skull in the face could result in a nuclear catastrophe, couldn't it?! Why doesn't he just use his freeze breath for everything?! Except maybe crashing planes. And rescuing kidnapped children from space men. Superman feels like he doesn't have time in his life to pursue his passions so he goes to speak with Pa Kent. Not zombie Pa Kent like you're probably thinking because remember how he died on Clark's prom night? I guess that didn't happen now. Rebirth and whatever stories I probably missed because I stopped reading every single DC comic book because DC kept insisting on hiring terrible writers like redactedell and redactedenti and J. T. redacted. Pa gives Clark some good advice full of guilt but it's no Uncle Ben advice. Every relative of every super hero is just out here trying to be as great as Uncle Ben. But I don't think people are going to be quoting this advice to Clark: "Who do you think is going to save that little girl, Clark? Batman? Wonder Woman? Guy fucking Gardner?! Stop worrying about how many people are going to die on Earth while you're in space and just go get that little girl already! Sheesh! You big pansy!" But Pa's a Midwest farmer so he used a word a little stronger than "pansy." Obviously by "stronger word," I mean "pustule-ridden horse cock." I know a lot of Midwest farmers and they're disgusting! Superman learns that the girl he met in the hospital died from her injuries and/or the incompetence of the doctors. So that's another person Batman failed to save! So now Superman turns his anger to the state of the America's health care so that this never happens again! No, no! He actually gets so mad that he throws a train off of a trestle.

What a piece of shit.

Why is Superman so nervous about leaving Earth? Isn't that exactly the thing every single other DC hero says is happening whenever they're stuck with saving the world from some threat that's far beyond their power to deal with? "The Justice League are on a mission in space! I'm all that's keeping the world from sliding into Hell!" yells Green Arrow every month. Because, seriously, the only reason you rely on Green Arrow is because all the other heroes are in space. All of them. Didn't Superman used to have a clone of himself or a robot that he used for when he was away? Also for when somebody thinks Clark is Superman? Also for when Lois is super horny? Superman heads to Rann to sort through the Zeta Beam data so he can find the bastard who kidnapped the little girl. Her name, by the way, is obviously Alice. There's a lot of literary capital in that name. To sort through the Zeta Beam data, Superman must be hooked up to what I can only describe as a suicide machine.

If Superman can't survive this then who can?! Why does this machine even exist?! Except to kill?

I was reading this as some sort of device to compute Zeta Beam data but it's possible Superman is just staring down the pipe of the regular old Zeta Beam machine. But anybody can be transferred by a Zeta Beam, right? You don't have to be special. But then, maybe this scientist is just finally telling the truth! What if the Zeta Beam really is a suicide machine, destroying the individual zapped by it only to reconfigure a clone on the other end. Sure, the clone has all the same memories and feelings and attitudes of the original body. But the mind in that original body is fucking gone, man! How many times has Adam Strange killed himself in DC continuity?! In the machine, Superman remembers some kid pretending to be Superman who threw himself off of the roof of his house and killed himself. Unless it's not a memory and the machine is just expressing, in an analogy (unless it's a metaphor?), how Superman has just killed himself. It's also possible it's part of the reasons behind Superman needing to save Alice. It's also possible Tom King fucked up his script and forgot what story he was writing. In this new story, Superman wants to quit being Superman because he's too inspiring! But Wonder Woman is all, "So a few kids are going to hurl themselves from rooftops? So what?! You wanting to take responsibility for that is what makes you Superman, and what makes you Superman is what is going to keep driving kids to jump to their deaths! Imagine if Batman were to take responsibility for all the deaths on his watch instead of plugging his hears and going, 'Na na na na na na na na na na na na na?!' That's the guy who should fucking quit!" Maybe she didn't say it in those exact words but why would I repeat the exact words from the comic book? Go fucking buy it yourself! Superman also remembers fighting with Doomsday and Magog and his father, Jor-el. Oh? Hey! Has Jor-el decided to remain on Earth as Pa Kent? Is that the story I missed recently?! In Superman's hallucination, he meets Alice who is super wise but that's only because she's also Superman. It's like when you're in a dream and somebody who isn't you says something really smart or funny. I usually wake up and get angry at my brain. "Why did you give somebody else those lines?!" But then I calm down and remember that my brain came up with those lines all by itself. Then I pat myself in the groin for a few minutes and think, "That'll do, pig. That'll do." Superman: Up in the Sky #1 Rating: A. That bit by Alice at the end is particularly well done. That's why I couldn't comment on it and barely mentioned it. If I could comment on intelligent and wise stuff, do you think I'd be doing comic book commentaries?! I'd be fucking with Shakespeare and Langston Hughes! I'd be commenting on Yeats and Cervantes and Danielewski! Sometimes you just have to accept what height of brow you are and live there like a mud scrabbling land fish. I know I don't have wings! I'mma just slop around down here in the filth while occasionally pretending to understand stuff written by Tom King and Mark Russell.

#Superman #Up in the sky #DC Comics #DC #Comic Book Reviews

[artificialqueens]

Please Pick Up Now (Katlaska) - Aldonza

AN: Hey, I’m new here! This is inspired by the song Please Don’t Jump (It’s Christmas) by Dallon Weekes, because I’m always ready for Christmas angst, even in March. I hope ya’ll are too. It’s Katlaska, and they’re already pretty much in a relationship in this story, even though they haven’t explicitly called it that.

TW: talking about suicide and an almost attempt, so if you’re sensitive to mentions of that topic, this is not the story for you.

It’s another December, and Brian is fucking freezing. It’s Christmas Eve to be exact, and he’s alone in a hotel, standing on a balcony and watching the snow fall. As he watches, he looks up at the buildings towering around him, trying not to think about just how high off the ground they are.

Justin isn’t answering.

Brian has called three times in the last hour, and sure, that seems excessive. Justin could be sleeping, he could be watching Golden Girls, he could just not have his phone in his hand. But Brian knows him.

(They’re together a lot. Whenever they can be, and if they can’t be, they’re on the phone. Brian has become quite the expert on Alaska Thunderfuck, and he secretly prides himself on knowing how she works. Both are insomniacs, and many a night between them is spent texting about anything and everything. Fewer nights have been spent with them falling asleep in the same room, but Brian lives for the mornings when he wakes up to find that Justin has found his way into his arms like he belongs there.

He stares at the freezing phone in his hand, flipping through messages from Ginger and Trixie. Trixie has texted him multiple times, each slightly more urgent, with the last one being, “Brian, just let me know you didn’t kill yourself in some freak masturbation accident and I’ll fuck off". Jokes aside, he realizes that maybe she’s thinking the same thing about him that he’s thinking about Justin. He texts her something stupid and scrolls back up to J. He reviews the messages from that day for the hundredth time.

Dec 24th

3:46 AM

J: 🐍

3:55

B: Morning mother, did the voices instruct you to text me at this ungodly hour? 

3:56

J: the voices have have a lot of dumb shit to say tonight

J: miss you

3:58

B: Miss you too, Lasky. Is everything okay?

10:45

B: Merry Christmas Eve Morning from my one woman freakshow of a family to yours!

4:14

B: You haven’t talked to me all day, and it’s making me want to act out. I think I’m going to propose to Tracy to make you jealous and regret not giving me your constant undivided attention like I deserve. I’ll let you know how it goes.

4:21

B: She said “Could you try not making me contemplate murder on one of my top five favorite holidays?”, which I think means yes. Be my flower girl?

6:23

B: 🐍🐍🐍 What’s up?

7:44

B: Are you okay? Just let me know.

9:30

B: Seriously, what’s going on?

11:19

B: Justin, call me now.

He clicks call again and gets his voicemail. “You’ve reached Justin Honard, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” It’s so professional, so lifeless. He hates it every time he hears it. He hasn’t left any messages yet, but the beep surprises him out of his internal dialogue so he just says, “Justin, please pick up. I want to talk to you.”

(Justin doesn’t want to talk about it, whatever it is. Brian has tried so hard to get him to open up, to just trust him, but even though he’s helped Brian through panic attacks, mental breakdowns, and intrusive thoughts, Justin won’t let his guard down.

“Whatever you’re going though, you can tell me. I’m here for you, no matter how messy it is. Messy, cheap, manly queens just happen to be my favorite kind,” Brian tells him one night when they actually get to be in the same room. Justin just smiles. They’re in Brian’s hurricane of an apartment, lying on his bed. Justin’s on his back, looking up at Brian, who is next to him propped up on one arm.

Brian tries to push more, but he can tell Justin isn’t really listening. “I’m serious, I don’t know what’s going on with you but I want to help. Why are you looking at me like that?” and suddenly, Justin is leaning up to connect their lips. Their first kiss is everything Brian thought it would be, even though he knows it’s a tactic to get him to drop the subject.

“You can’t use your body as an alternative to talking,” he mumbles against Justin’s lips as he grips his hand tightly in his hair.

“But it’s so much more fun.”

Later that night, Brian hears Justin crying in the bathroom once he thinks he’s asleep.)

Brian knows Justin is alone, because he and Justin are infuriatingly similar. Justin has started drinking again, and even though he “never gets drunk on stage”, Brian knows that more and more of his nights are spent alone in his apartment, curled up on the floor.

Brian sees the three little dots pop up on the text message he has open for Justin, but they disappear immediately. He calls again. No answer. “You don’t have to spend Christmas alone. Answer me, please.”

Justin spent last Christmas Eve on the roof of his apartment building, and Brian is almost positive he’s back up there. He didn’t know him as well then, as it was toward the beginning of their friendship-relationship thing, but he could tell something was off. Difference is that last year Justin was still sober. Brian is hoping with everything he has that Justin isn’t wasted on the roof.

(Justin burns all his pictures. He doesn’t like to think about old memories, and he’s trying to live in the present because the past fucking hurts. Brian gets that, he really does. He isn’t talking to his family or friends much anymore, but he somehow grants Brian access to his personal life while most everyone else has been banned to only his professional side.

He’s got one little photo album left that he keeps on a bookshelf in his living room, and Brian knows he shouldn’t but he flips through it once when he spends the night. There aren’t many pages filled, only 6 pictures total. There’s a picture of Justin as a child with his parents, all smiles. There’s an awful selfie from baby Alaska, which he’s sure would make Justin physically cringe. He loves it.

There are two pictures of him with Sharon, one in and one out of drag. They both look so young and sick, clothes dirty and eyes exhausted. Brian doesn’t know much more than the rumors from this time because Justin refuses to talk about it seriously, but whatever did happen broke something in both Aaron and Justin.

There’s one of Rolaskatox, and Justin looks a little healthier in it. He figures it’s from right after the break up, and he can see how much the three love each other through the photo. Justin admitted once that Roxxxy and Detox saved his life, that he didn’t know where he’d be if they hadn’t stepped in and made him start to take care of himself. Brian wonders when the last time Justin spoke to them was.

And then there’s one of him. He looks ridiculous, out of drag with a few smudges of Katya’s makeup still on his face. He’s mid laugh, eyes shut. Next to him, Justin is perfect. He’s not as thin as the other pictures, eyes joyful. His black hair is done, his shirt is neat, and he’s looking at Brian like he hung the moon.)

Brian doesn’t cry in front of people, but it’s late and he’s pretty emotional and he’s mentally ill and he’s on his third cigarette and he’s fucking cold. He calls Justin one more time and when he gets the voicemail again he yells, “I’d talk you down if you would just fucking answer your phone, Justin.” He texts him that he’s coming over and runs downstairs to catch a cab.

He gets to Justin’s apartment building and the security guy just lets him through, maybe recognizing him from all the time he’s spent here in the past months, but maybe because he doesn’t care. This is a security concern but Brian doesn’t have time to think about that now, so he runs upstairs. 

He approaches Justin’s door and isn’t really surprised to find it unlocked. When he’s drunk he forgets to turn the bolt, like he’s just inviting trouble in. He steps into the immaculately clean apartment, and all the lights are off. He calls Justin’s name and gets no answer, but he sees empty whiskey bottles and the photo album on the floor next to the couch. Then he sees three perfectly folded paper squares on the coffee table. All the air leaves his lungs as he steps close enough to read the names written in small, neat letters on each one. Mom. Aaron. Brian.

He doesn’t pick it up, he doesn’t want to know, he can’t know he needs to know but it’s too much and he’s being hit with memories of his own letters to his own mom and copious amounts of alcohol and drugs and he can’t breathe but he’s running again, he’s in the hallway and then he’s in the stairwell and then he’s at the top and he’s about to open the door to the roof and he’s so fucking afraid that Justin’s not going to be there, that it’s going to be too late and he’s going to have to walk to the edge and look down to find the man he lov-

But he opens the door and there he is.

Justin isn’t facing him, and for a second Brian just stares. His dark hair sticking up, his black sweatpants, his white short sleeved shirt that can’t be doing anything for him. It an unsettling image, Justin’s hunched over form sitting alone in the middle of the empty roof, slightly swaying back and forth with the wind. Brian realizes he isn’t cold anymore, the adrenaline having warmed him, but he can see Justin shaking from all the way over there, so he closes the door and walks slowly toward him.

He shrugs off his jacket and places it on Justin’s shoulders, then sits next to him, their arms touching. He can’t look at him yet, and he can’t feel Justin’s eyes so he assumes the feeling is mutual. He sees Justin’s phone a few feet away from him, screen cracked from being thrown. Brian picks up a bottle of whiskey from in front of Justin and sets it away from them. For a moment, they sit listening to the sounds of the city below.

“I’m sorry for not picking up, Kat,” Justin finally mumbles.

“You scared me, Lasky.” You’re scaring me, Justin, I’m so fucking scared, he thinks.

“I didn’t mean to. I just wanted time to think. That’s why I didn’t answer, I didn’t want you to get scared and drive over in a panic. Everything is really good, promise.” Justin slurs, leaning into him a little. Brian is confused, until he realizes that Justin doesn’t know that he knows. He’s playing it off like nothing is happening, like tonight is like any other night.  Brian wishes he could believe that, but he saw the letters and sees the way Justin’s fingers are tapping against his leg. “How did you know I was up here?” Justin’s voice pulls him from his thoughts.

“I’m smarter than you give me credit for, mother.” When he hears Justin chuckle, he finally looks up at his face. He’s clearly intoxicated, but he’s not as far gone as Brian’s ever seen him. His eyes are red though, presumably from crying. Justin still isn’t looking at him, just down at the street below them.

“You have a bit of a history, sorry to tell ya. Knew you’d either be up here or passed out in your apartment. I checked there first,” he says, and he feels Justin tense immediately and pull away, bringing his knees to his chest and laying his forehead on them, hiding. Brian presses his own forehead to Justin’s shoulder and listens to his breathing. 

“Did you see anything?” Justin asks, his voice muffled.

“I saw the letters, yeah.” Brian’s never been one to beat around the bush, not with people he cares about. Somehow the street seems so much quieter now, and all he can focus on is the tension surrounding them. He’s starting to get cold again.

“Did you read yours?” Justin asks after what seems like hours, and Brian can hear him start to cry. He feels tears come to his own eyes, because he understands, fuck does he understand. He’s felt the embarrassment, the shame, the sadness, and it’s Christmas and he just wants Justin to be okay. He wants them both to be okay.

“No, Justin, they’re all still on the table,” he says quietly, and then Justin is sobbing, heavy and painful sounding. Brian wraps his arms around the taller man and pulls him up. They need to get off the roof.

He carefully leads Justin back to his apartment, and gets him straight into his room, away from coffee table and the alcohol and the fucking photo album. After a while, Justin stops crying, and Brian grabs them both Tylenol. When he goes to leave, Justin grabs his hand and asks him to stay.

Brian turns on the TV, because he knows the background noise helps Justin sleep, and lies down with his head on Justin’s leg. He feels a hand run softly through his hair, and we he realizes it’s finally stopped, he looks at the clock to see it’s already past 5 in the morning. Merry Christmas, Brenda.

—–

Justin’s alarm wakes him up at 10 am. He didn’t sleep long, and at first he can’t remember the previous night. Maybe he just ate dinner, then watched some Christmas specials and went to bed like a normal functioning adult.

When he stands up, he instantly feels like he’s dying, so he knows he drank way too fucking much. He’s missing parts of last night but he begins to remember pieces, and he definitely remembers the beginning, the part where he was sober on Christmas Eve and decided he couldn’t do it anymore. Which reminds him, it’s Christmas. Another Christmas alone.

He walks out of his room and immediately is hit with the smell of food.

He slowly shuffles to the kitchen, and there he is. With his blond hair and a fucking pink apron from god knows where. Brian has headphones in, and he’s leaning down, taking something out of the oven. On the table there’s enough food to feed a family of five, and it’s a strange combination of breakfast and dinner foods. There are also somehow decorations in his house now. He looks over to the living room, and notes that the table is cleared and the floor is clean.

Brian turned around and gasps, then laughs and pulls out an earbud. “You scared me! I put these in so I wouldn’t wake you with my early morning impromptu Christmas breakfast/dinner extravaganza playlist.” He’s smiling, but Justin can see the worry in his eyes.

“What songs are on it?” he asks as he sits at the counter where Brian has laid out two little pills next to a glass of water, which he takes.

“Bach’s Greatest Hits Volumes 1 through 7. Plus, Fuck Tha Police 12 times.”

Justin watches Brian as he dances around the kitchen and finishes setting the table, humming along to whatever music is playing. When he’s done, he bows to Justin’s applause and gestures for him to come sit in front of the feast. They make their plates and start to eat, sitting next to each other at Justin’s tiny kitchen table, chairs facing the window.

Justin picks at the strange assortment of food, the blueberry pancakes and turkey and macaroni salad. “So, what exactly inspired you to create this horrific spread? You’ve really outdone yourself, Bri, this is almost definitely the worst meal I’ve ever had.“

“The dollar store food section can only get you so far and your pantry is depressing, but someone had to feed your ass on Christmas, and I’m a woman who loves a challenge. Are you saying you don’t appreciate the culinary stylings of Chef Boyardee?”

“No, he’s done a fine job, as always. I’m just questioning the sanity of whoever thought French toast would be a good side for spaghettios.”

“Well, that’s where you went wrong. French toast is clearly the appetizer. The sour patch kids are the side. Idiot.”

The banter is easy, and Justin can almost forget what happened the night before. Despite his best attempts, he enjoys the food, and he listens to Brian tell a most definitely untrue story about fighting a grandmother at Dollar General for a pack of glittery green streamers.

Eventually, the conversation stalls, and they eat in a comfortable silence for a while. The windows are open, and Justin notices that the street is quiet for once. "It’s dead out there, I can’t remember it ever being this calm,” he voices to Brian.

"Everyone is either enjoying their day off by sleeping in or spending this dreadful holiday with the people they love.”

“Why aren’t you with the people you love?” he asks, looking over. Brian is staring back at Justin with a fork full of blueberry pancakes frozen about an inch from his mouth, and something about the look in his eye makes Justin blush.

"I tried literally all day and night yesterday. You wouldn’t answer. How dare you set me up to say something as cheesy as that? You absolute snake." 

Justin laughs, and shakes his head, averting his eyes. "Love you too, Russian whore.” He tries to keep his voice casual, but by the way Brian has quieted, he knows they’re about to have The Conversation. He takes his plate and washes it, trying to busy his hands and calm his mind.

Brian follows him with his own plate and leans against the counter behind him after putting it in the sink. Justin hears him take a deep breath. “I didn’t read any of the letters. I put them in a drawer, and I’ll throw them out if you want me to. I didn’t know what you wanted me to do, but I didn’t read them.”

Sometimes, Justin is thankful that Brian gets straight to the point. Sometimes it makes him uncomfortable, makes him long for the days when he and his partner could just drown in drugs and alcohol and sex instead of having difficult conversations. He awkwardly says, “Thank you. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

It’s quiet for a minute, and then he feels a hand on his arm, turning him around. “Justin, you have to get help." 

He’s suddenly feeling closed in, he wants to do anything but look at Brian. He’s ashamed, and he doesn’t want to hurt him anymore. "I’m sorry, Bri, it was just a stupid thing, I wasn’t really going to-" 

Brian cuts him off, using a stern voice Justin’s never heard before. "No, I’m serious. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you." 

"You’re not losing anything, I’m fine.” He breaks away and walks to the living room, sitting on the couch, repeating don’t think about it in his head. He knows if he thinks about it, he’ll cry, and he can’t hurt Brian anymore than he already has. Brian is too good for this, for him, and he doesn’t deserve it. But Brian follows him to the living room and sits next to him.

“Please look at me,” he asks, but Justin looks down, willing the tears pooling in his eyes to stay in until he’s alone again.

“I can’t-”

“You can. Please.” Brian takes Justin’s chin in his hand and turns his head until their eyes meet. He’s looking at him in a way he’s not used to anymore, and the care and worry in his eyes hurts too much. He can’t do this, no matter how much he wants it, no matter how perfect Brian is, not when love ends so fucking horribly every time. He would hate himself if he hurt Brian, but Brian doesn’t seem afraid at all.

“I’m scared,” is all he can say.

"I know.”

“I wish we could just sit here forever.” The world is too scary, too hateful, too loud. He wipes his face, and puts his head on Brian’s shoulder. He feels Brian’s arm wrap around him.

“I know, but we can’t. There’s too much life happening outside of your annoyingly clean apartment, and I want to live it with you. Ugh, there I go again. Feelings really are disgusting." 

"I don’t get that.”

“Why your apartment is so clean? That’s what I’m saying, it makes me think you’re overcompensating for something, which is worrisome to a simple woman like myself.”

"I don’t get how you could want to do anything with me.”

“Honestly, me neither.”

”…Okay.”

“No, let me try that again. I never thought I’d ever want to spend my whole life with anyone. I’ve never even entertained the idea. But then Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 slithers into my life, and I’m daydreaming about moving to LA and stealing your hash browns during an early brunch at some overpriced diner, and then going shopping for home goods and complaining about your terrible taste in art the entire time.”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“But I can’t do that and then lose you. It would kill me. It would absolutely demolish my entire being, Justin. It would fucking kill me even if we weren’t together, even if we stopped talking today. If you killed yourself, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“I’m sorry, I know I fucked up. I’m sorry I always fuck up.”

"No, stop, I just- I want to be with you all the time, do you know that? For the past who knows how long. You’re all I think about. I want to help you, I would fucking do anything for you, but I know better than anyone that love doesn’t fix this shit. I can’t love you better Justin, you have to get professional help.” He stops and wipes away a tear that slipped from Justin’s eye. “It doesn’t have to be like this. And you know it, I know you do. You’ve been better before, you can get better again.

I want you to get help so you can enjoy life. And yeah, it’s selfish because I want to enjoy it with you, but I never claimed to be a good person. I’m just a woman in love with another woman, except we’re both men and making jokes is inappropriate for this conversation but I don’t know how to be any way else. I really do think I love you, how awful is that?”

“Horrendous. I never thought I’d be getting a combination please don’t kill yourself/let’s settle down speech from Katya Zamolodchikova.”

“Believe me bitch, I never thought I’d be the one giving it.”

“Okay.”

"What?”

“Okay.”

—–

Twelve Months Later

Dec 24th

4:45 PM

J: 🐍

4:46

B: Mother, the crazy trash bag lady is sending me reptile emojis again…

4:47

J: like 15 mins away

J: and you send the fucking alien emoji at least 10 times a day

J: stop telling mother on me or I’ll make sure you regret it

4:50

B: That sounds like a threat, and I’m extremely turned on. Stop texting and driving.

B: See you soon.

They live on the first floor now, on a street across town. Justin runs up the stairs, trying not to spill the Chinese food in the bags he has on each arm. He unlocks the door and slips in quietly.

The apartment they moved into together two months ago is a little messy. The decor is a combination of things they found at various thrift stores across the city, so nothing matches but the room is undeniably them. Christmas music is playing from the speakers, which Justin knows Brian only put on for him.

There’s a Christmas tree in the corner with presents underneath to each other and from their friends. They made cookies the day before with Trixie, Ginger, Detox, and Roxxxy at Friendsmas Dinner, despite Brian’s claims that that is not a thing and will never be a thing. Trixie loved it and declared Alaska her new best friend. (“I didn’t realize you were such a festive bitch, I think you might be too good for Bri.”)

Tonight, they’re eating some leftover cookies with takeout and watching the Golden Girls Christmas special. Justin takes the food out of the bags, sets it up on the coffee table, and queues up the episode on Hulu.

He hears the bedroom door open and Brian appears in the hallway, hair wet from a shower, ugly Christmas sweater on. He grins wide and settles on the couch next to Justin.

“How was your session?” He asks as he runs a hand through Justin’s hair. Justin wraps his arms around him and closes his eyes, enjoying the contact for a moment.

“It was really good. Merry Christmas Eve.” He had an extra therapy session today, just in case. He only has to go once every other week now, but he anticipated today being extra difficult. Surprisingly, he feels okay. 

“Same to you, Lasky. I love you,” Brian reminds him as he kisses the side of his face before digging into his food and pressing play on the remote.

Justin is doing well. He’s sober, and he works keep himself sane. He calls his friends, and he lets himself recover when he has a slip up. He’s in love, and he only goes on the roof when Brian is there to watch the city with him.

“I love you too.”

#alaska thunderfuck #katya zamolodchikova #katlaska #please pick up now #aldonza #tw suicide attempt #rpdr fanfiction #submission #canon compliant