#please read this though

[lightandwinged]

Mean Girls in a Small Town

My stupid small town is in an uproar right now. This is not fiction. And this is why local politics matter so much, even and perhaps especially in liberal states like Massachusetts, where this story takes place, where I live.

We regularly host this conference in the high school about various progressive topics--diversity, intersectionality, self esteem, etc. It used to be pretty small but has grown much larger, and this year, the school hosted upwards of 700 students from all across the state, which is an impressive feat for a town with a graduating class of around 80. It should be something that brings the entire town pride, and as far as I know, up until this year, it was.

But this year, things changed.

This year, someone got a drag queen to present.

As I understand it from the perspective of one of the administration members, because the conference arguably falls under the purview of mitigating the negative impacts of cellphone usage and social media for teenagers, some money from a grant rewarded to the high school for exactly that purpose was used to pay a trans actress to be the closing speaker for the conference. This got a bee in the bonnet of one school committee member, who threatened to sue the state if they agreed that the money could be used for that purpose (which--it's their determination because it's their money, so that would be a waste of everyone's time, but I digress). And that should have been the most exciting and talked about situation from the April 1 school committee meeting, which was--like most school committee meetings--about as interesting as watching paint dry.

(I should know; I watched all three hours of it. Sped up, of course, because I don't hate myself that much. There were a lot of numbers, and someone got weirdly cross about hiring another physical therapist for the special ed department)

But the meeting, as all of them do, started with public comment. You must be a resident of our town to comment, so that much can be said for this particular provocateur. She was not a plant from outside the town. She gave her address and is vaguely known to people within the town.

Her children are all grown, so she shouldn't have much to say about the schools, and yet, she did. She described the drag presentation in a way that I can only assume was intentionally inaccurate and willfully ignorant. She said the drag queen in question (I'm not naming him because he's honestly been piled on so fucking much lately) started his presentation by talking about his breasts being cold and then did a performance that purposefully exposed the attendants to his "lacy white underwear" (her words, not mine). Her question was something along the lines of "who is allowing this filth???" and presumably, if she had pearls, she would have clutched them.

The performance, incidentally, was a tribute to Karen Smith from Mean Girls, the one who can forecast the weather with her boobs. The drag queen's costume took obvious inspiration from the film: short pink skirt, pink jacket, white shirt with a mouse on it ("a mouse, duh"). He wore white dance bloomers underneath, as a good performer does.

This should have been a non-issue, because it is a non-issue. This conference was not an official school event. The school was closed that day, and nobody was forced to attend. The presentation itself was one of 45 presentations happening at the same time (remember: 700 students attended this thing), so nobody was there who didn't want to be. The school didn't even pay the drag queen; he presented for free.

And it likely would have gone ignored, if not for Chaya Raichik, a.k.a., Libs of TikTok.

For the uninitiated, LoT is a collection of accounts that serve as vile provocateurs, spreading misinformation, incomplete information, and outright disinformation that targets the LGBTQIA+ community, especially the trans community. The biggest boost to the account's notoriety came in the summer of 2022, when it claimed that Boston Children's Hospital and Children's National Hospital were performing gender confirmation surgeries on minors. Following this rancid bullshit (because it had about as much in common with the truth as LoT fans have with being good people), both hospitals--CHILDREN'S hospitals, I should add--received numerous bomb threats and other threats of violence.

At the extreme end of things, this is their MO: pure stochastic terrorism. LoT will never outright call for violence against the LGBTQIA+ community, but they will call them evil and child abusers and groomers and whatever else, and then act very surprised Pikachu when their followers take that at face value and do a violence.

But it's the quieter end of things that worries me more, because it's the quieter end of things that's happening in my town.

LoT got ahold of a clip from that three hour meeting I mentioned and shared it around Twitter with exactly zero of the context I mentioned, save for a few lines suggesting that the school had paid $2500 for the drag queen to perform for the entire school.

You know, lies.

Someone posted it on the town's unofficial Facebook page. Our town, a farming community with sensibilities more comfortable in the 18th century than the 21st and a population that screeches loudly when someone installs a new traffic light, uses the unofficial page for information far more than the official page. The unofficial page is run by a religious conservative who's fond of getting delete happy when her agenda isn't being pushed properly.

So when this dropped on the town's Facebook page, it was pure Bedlam.

Because everyone was so angry, it took ages for the actual facts of the situation to emerge. So many conservative voices were screaming that facts didn't matter because "drag queens shouldn't be within a million miles of schools because they are inherently sexual" (not my words; theirs) so those of us looking for the facts of the situation had an uphill climb. The facts confirmed what a lot of us thought: that (a) the performance was not nearly as sexual as it was made out to be, (b) it was not even remotely mandatory, and (c) it was not paid for by the school.

But "facts don't matter," and the group has been screaming about it for, at this point, four days straight.

The screaming doesn't matter much to me. They did that back in October-ish when we got an influx of refugees at our local scummy inn (before the refugees arrived, the conservatives hated it because it housed homeless people; but then the refugees arrived, and suddenly, it became, "what about American homeless people?"). Those of us with hearts and brains shrugged, whipped up a bunch of donations for our refugees, and continued to give to them until they found permanent housing in a nearby town.

No, what matters to me is the battle cry that's started to arise: that they need to fill the school committee with like-minded individuals by recalling anyone who they don't like (including the superintendent and principal, which is not how this works, but okay) and putting forth their own candidates. And this, I believe, was the real aim of LoT in targeting us.

We're a small town with a lot of conservatives... but we went to Biden by one vote in 2020, you see.

It's clear that we're a battleground town where it wouldn't necessarily be that hard to push us straight into fascism, junior, as much as a town can be in Massachusetts. Get the wrong voices on the school committee, and suddenly, things have gone from irritating to downright ugly. And while things are ugly, they can chip away at actual education (the committee member I mentioned above was also trying to reduce the number of teachers in both the middle and high school "for budget reasons") and create a new crop of uninformed voters.

We're fortunate right now because (a) we're in Massachusetts, so it's unlikely they can do the same amount of harm they could in states that have been drowned in a sea of red (which is less of a slight and more a statement that they've put in decades of effort in other places, so this sort of situation there is catastrophic instead of just an uphill battle); and (b) a decent number of us are prepared to stand in their way however we can.

But man. It's a heavy burden. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm tired. I'm in a lot of physical pain because stress gives me flares. I want to do more--to run for a vacant seat, to hit the pavement and whip up votes, to yell--but my body keeps getting in my way. And I'm afraid that if I don't do it, no one will.

#local politics #town politics #lgbtqia+ #drag queen #long post #please read this though #it's absurdly important #and I want people to know that we're fighting

[bluestonewings]

ACES!!! Look at this Scientific American article!!! It makes me genuinely so happy to read. We’re making it!!!!

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/asexuality-is-finally-breaking-free-from-medical-stigma/

#asexual #demisexual #ace pride #queer #lgbtq #aromantic #aroace #GUYS READ IT PLEASE IM SO HAPPY!!! #update y’all check notes for the time traveling! I’m very honored ppl think I’m some ace time traveling god though. just for science article

[lygma-nygma]

Sometimes I try to live my life normally but then I remember that when Tim properly met Dick for the first time the man was in full clown makeup.

Theres a foreshadowing joke in that but I can’t quite put it into words.

#I don’t know if I want to make a circus joke or just call Dick a clown #Can’t say he didn’t warn Tim though #batfam #tim drake #dick grayson #please read A Lonely Place of Dying it’s lowkey hilarious #Like 90s Batman is so unserious and it’s trying so hard to be

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

#dc comics #dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #batfamily #dc robin #nightwing #anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther #like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it #they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc #but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself #anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did #it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios #also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul #you will always be famous to me #son of the demon origin...bwahhh #anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic #but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up #so go look at that as well #anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy #i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!) #so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!) #when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself #it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on #I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue #i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :] #idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups #so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat #(it's me they should hire me. please DC i have ideas listen to my red hood pitch PLEASE-)

[ruporas]

vw sketches (id in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #sorry for how teensies some of the text can be T_T please read the id if you can't see them... #ive been sketching a lot these days - testing out some new stuff... i think I've tested enough though and need to start making #more polished work again orz... drawing is so endless... both positive and also Reluctantly negative #only bc my time management is terrible

[expelliarmus]

#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #catherine tate #ncuti gatwa #i finished reading the giggle novelisation today!!! ;A; #it was by far the best out of the 3 novels #having it written in the toymaker's pov was so good #and then when they were going through the doors and it turned into a choose your adventure kind of story for a bit #that was excellent!!! #though i think i got stuck in a loop and then had to go back and read each chapter in order lol #and then the doctor buying a house..... giving the sun room to wilf.... #and they're all the noble-temple-doctor family...... PLEASE #;A;!!!! #and again i'm quite sure someone must have made this gifset before #but here's my version :)))) #ANYWAYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AHHHHH #MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!! NEW DW TOMORROW :')

[elodieunderglass]

#swan comics #a swan in a santa hat #🦢 #I thought about posting this in response to someone #but that would be a bit too much I think #no harm done #least said soonest mended #but this is a conversation I have in my home as well so #perhaps we need a visual shorthand #where the FUCK is my CUP #this is the response to a) kids not putting their socks on but coming downstairs dressed as crocodiles #b) spouse mishearing something but gallantly giving an opinion on it that was so in depth I didn’t have the heart to interrupt #and c) someone explaining to me about the discworld reading order #on a post about the saddening lack of risk-taking and support for creators in the content-gatekeeping industry #none of those are crimes not even the socks #I can strongly understand the Considerations that beset and bedazzle you when you go to put socks on and how the best response is to put on #a fuzzy crocodile onesie #but it’s not what I asked. #like this is a good response to a different thing #please recall the input here - the assignment if you will - was about socks. I love what you’ve done here though #good contribution. you know what we’re keeping it. love it. #just don’t present it as if the original incident report can be marked closed now okay? #do not close the support ticket #the support ticket remains unanswered. #no I completely agree. the outfit DOES need green face paint too. a topic we can add to the queue when oddly enough you have socks on

[fishbloc]

"it doesn’t feel like much of a victory at all. there was room for love here. there was room for a lot of things. but none of it matters in the end. if it all goes to waste, i'll take my punishment for having loved."

#quote!!! by!!! excellent writer @birrdies!!!! please read the ficlet!!!! (though the last line is added by me i hope thats ok!!) #grian #goodtimeswithscar #desert duo #trafficblr #hermitcraft #咸鱼.jpg #📕 #3rd life #birrdies

[ghouljams]

A Sinner in the Hands of John Mactavish Rating: E (MDNI) Tags: Soap x f!reader/f!oc, face sitting, D/s dynamic, shame play, slapping, degradation, slut shaming, corruption kink, lowkey misogyny kink, fingering, forced orgasm, sub space, mentions of reader being a nun, Dom!Soap, lemme know if I missed any Summary: Soap is a mean dom, that's the whole thing. Mind the tags.

You hover, a little unsure, your stomach twisting and your core tight from the thought but… Johnny’s hands grab your hips and force you down against his face, with a harsh, “Sit.” Heat races over your skin, half embarrassment, half excitement at the direct order. You try to raise yourself up a little but his grip is firm and you don’t move an inch. You shudder as his tongue slides through your folds, slicking you more than you already were. His hands slide from your hips to wrap around your thighs, trapping you against his mouth. 

Like this you can feel the scratch of his stubble as he wiggles his tongue and sucks at your cunt, your hips rocking against him without thinking. He groans, tipping his head to close his mouth around your clit, hot suction that makes you want to press harder against him. Your fingers tighten on your skirt, holding it out of the way so you can watch him, or so he can watch you. 

You're not a real nun, you swear there's nothing pious or upstanding about you, but your body seems to think you've never been touched by a man before. You feel entirely too sensitive, whimpering and whining at the slightest touch of Johnny's tongue. Though, it's not hard to know why. He's aggressive with his attention, determined to wring every drop of pleasure from you. He rolls his tongue against your clit hard and steady, forcing you up from quiet gasps to full loud moans. You're too hot, your dress sticks to the sweat on your skin and your hips burn with the need to grind and move. 

"Johnny I-" you bite your lips to stifle the needy noise that bubbles up in your throat. He hums against your cunt, the vibration of it making you shudder. His grip on your thighs loosens enough for you to move, just enough for him to get his mouth off of you.

"What, Hen? You have to say it," his voice sounds wrecked, low and deep and beautifully dangerous, "be a good little nun, and say it."

The way he says "nun" spits it like a swear, makes your pussy clench, another whine building in your throat. "Need more," you mumble, "wanna cum, I need more."

Johnny twists, flipping you onto your back with practiced ease. You yelp and bounce against the bed. You hardly have time to try and find your position before Johnny is dragging you by the hips, stretching you out to settle between your thighs again. Times like this you remember it’s a military man you’re fucking, not just a random ranch hand. It’s the awareness he has, both of his own body and yours that makes you squeeze your thighs around him.

"You want my fingers or my cock?" He asks, his eyes fixed on the way he spreads your folds apart. He rubs his palm against the slick that’s made his beard shine, and waits for you to answer. The way he looks at you, hungry and dark, always makes your stomach clench. He’s hard, you can see the lines of his cock straining against his pants.

"Fingers," you decide. Johnny hums, and rolls his thumb against your clit, weighing your decision against whatever he has planned.

"Alright," he hooks two thick fingers into your cunt, pressing up to hit your sweet spot dead on. You clench and rock your hips against his fingers, God they feel good, just what you needed. "That's it," Johnny tells you, "what's a nun but a selfish little whore keeping her cunt all to herself?" You’re not proud of the way his words make you shudder and clench. 

It’s all the approval Johnny needs to start thrusting his fingers into you in earnest. Hard and fast, curled to hit that soft spongy spot every time. Tight heat builds in you immediately, your stomach clenching as you try to squirm away from the targeted attack. Johnny wastes no energy grabbing your throat with his free hand, the firm pressure keeping you in place even when your hips squirm. He squeezes your neck and you can feel every callous on his fingers, just as your head starts to go fuzzy.

More warmth floods you, this time over your cheeks and up your ears. Your head feels cottony. It makes you clench around his fingers, trying to keep them in or squirm away as Johnny stirs up thick pleasure deep in your stomach. Your back arches, forcing your neck into his hold as your head tips back and orgasm overtakes you. You feel the wet release of pressure, the rush of warmth over your skin. You can hear the slick noise of Johnny’s fingers working your cunt faster and harder. It’s too much and you try to kick at him to get him to stop. He only presses you down firmer.

“Look’it tha’,” Johnny hums, leaning over you as you gasp for air, you grab at his wrist unsure, now, which hand you need a release from. He spits into your open mouth. “Only thing you’re good for is takin’ my cock and you couldnae even do that. You wanted my fingers, you can-” You dig your nails into his wrist and he hisses. You get what you wanted, he releases your throat and stops fingering you. Only to slap you.

It takes you by surprise, the sting against your cheek. Your breath catches and your eyes go wide. Something in your brain slips, just a little to the left, and your eyes lid. Johnny grips your face, and you smile at him. He gives you a wolf’s smile in response, jostles your head a little, and slaps you again.

“There she is, my stupid little slut.” His thumb brushes your cheek, a small comfort, “tell me who this pussy belongs to baby.”

“You, Sir,” You murmur, kissing his thumb when it brushes against your lips. He pushes the digit into your mouth and you curl your tongue around it.

“Yeah?” He coos, his fingers push into your cunt and you squirm, oversensitive from your last orgasm. “Then stop fuckin’ squirmin’ and let me do what I want.” The growl in his voice, the low punishing tone, make you freeze. Your muscles tense as he watches your face. Your brows knit together, your lips pouting still wrapped around his thumb. He grinds the heel of his hand against your clit, forces his fingers in and out of your desperate, clenching, cunt and tells you, “Don’t you dare fuckin’ come. You come and I’ll spank this pussy raw.”

The thought makes you shudder. You both know it doesn’t matter how hard you try to hold back, he’ll force it out of you. The same way you know he’ll have you crying through another orgasm as he spanks your clit and tells you what a dumb whore you are, how disgusting you are for getting off to this.

"No more selfish Nun," he’ll tell you as he eases his thick cock into your abused hole, "because this cunt is mine now, and I’m never lettin’ you go.”

#cod x reader #x reader #x oc #cod x oc #john mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap modern warfare #soap mactavish #soap cod #soap mw2 #soap x oc #soap x reader #john mactavish x oc #oc: moon #cowboy au #technically even though there's no cowboy-ing happening #Mind the tags please I don't want to get comments about people being upset that didn't read the tags #It is what it says on the tin #f!reader #f!oc

[porcupine-girl]

Please don’t use collections to track your reading on AO3!

Someone is going through all my zimbits fics and adding them to a collection called “completed stories I’ve read.” Well, they’re trying to, but I’m denying all their requests.

Yes, ao3 has fixed the thing that made it possible for collection owners to anonymize your fics without your permission, so why do I not want all my fics in these random collections?

Well, imagine if 10% of the people who read my fics tracked their reading via a collection like this. Unlike bookmarks, all the collections a fic is in are listed directly on the fic! The fic I just got a request for has 12000 hits and 1300 kudos. If even 10% of the people who left kudos added it to a collection, every person who reads it would have to scroll through a list of 130 collections to get to the fic!

Please track your reading using bookmarks, not collections!

Bookmarks just add to a number on the fic itself, but if you click that number you’ll see the many ways people use them to track their reading. Some people use tags like “to read,” “read,” “complete,” etc. Other people use bookmark collections, which unlike regular collections don’t get listed on the fic - plus, they don’t require the author’s permission, so you can actually have an accurate list instead of just a list of the fics that got approved!

Whoever you are (I know their ao3 name but since they have no works of their own I have no way to contact them), I am very flattered that you like my stuff enough to go through and read all of it, and I very much appreciate it. But please stop using collections just to track your reading.

#ao3 #fandom life #I approve most collection requests that are themed collections or even just ‘my favorites’ or something #even though bookmark collections would also work for those #but if just tracking your reading this way gets popular it will be a MESS #please reblog this so maybe it will reach the actual offender eventually lol #notes

[kreftropod]

Absolutely loving the fact that, despite Dracula being adapted to death and back by media over the last century, a lot of people don't actually know the original story. As in, here we are, in 2022, tagging spoilers for a 125 year old novel that most people thought they knew from it's countless adaptations but turned out to not know at all. It's great. I love it. Thanks for sharing your first-time reactions to this comedy of an old book.

#it's good to remember that we have 125 years of hindsight when reading this though #people back in 1897 didn't know the things we know today #their worldview was very different from ours and they didn't know all the spooky tropes we know today #since yknow this book was part of the ones who started those tropes to begin with #yes Dracula is a comedy by todays standard and please continue to make fun of our Dear Friend Jonathan and Domestic Teeabo Dracula #but also remember that this book is Old as Fuck #and very old timey English(tm) #so there's inevitably gonna be descriptions and character-opinions that reflect that #just good to keep in mind #anyway love yall #keep on what you're doing #I'm having a blast reading all of your funny Dracula posts #Dracula Daily #Dracula #Bram Stoker's Dracula #babbling in the tags I guess

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Dean Winchester of Supernatural fame is NOT reading parenting books he is putting on Cheaper By The Dozen, Daddy Daycare and Honey I Shrunk The Kids taking notes.

#i woulda said full house but dean's more a movie guy than a tv guy #it doesn't help. btw. lol. #if dean read a gentle parenting guide he would scoff and roll his eyes and throw it across the room #and eventually start silently weeping if he was convinced to keep going bc HE was a kid and HE didn't get treated with respect or gentlenes #dean in an argument with those mommy bloggers he follows saying something like 'please. i was left in a motel room with my brother #from like age 7 upwards I think little Timmy will be okay in the car by himself for 3 minutes 🙄“ #and someone hits him with 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' and he tries to brush it off all day and complain about it to Sam #and Sam's like. yeah it was kinda fucked up though. and Dean's like WELL I KNOW THAT BUT HE WAS DOING HIS BEST #(not fully believing it bc he certainly can't picture leaving a 7 year old alone in the world they live in no matter what) #(and Dean's never fully actually agreed with their dad but he feels attacked by Sam's agreeing) #(but old habits run deep) #cawis creates

[deezneezz]

Jamil's Healer class in @dirtspouse's Jamidia fic, Star Courier!

"In the end, the adventurer's father dies and the Star Courier still only has seven stars, but the story is about letting go and becoming your own person and doing things for yourself." - Light Party (Vivarium) by en passant (corinthian)

Please read it, it's SO cute!!!! 😭

#jamil viper #twst #twst wonderland #my art #please read it i need other unfortunate souls to fall with me or ill be going insane alone #it really is very cute though #big brothers and their gremlin siblings #ortho and najma are there!! and they are menaces!!! #besties together #idia and jamil are both in their respective family cursed jail together #but at least they have eachother... #idia having to deal with jamil's normie behaviour is also the funniest thing ever

[hatsunemiku-official]

(just realized one of the people that submitted miku art was a terf so the post has been removed. radfems are not and will never be tolerated on this blog. sorry about that!)

#(I’ll be checking blogs that submit art more thouroughly in the future) #(seriously though please read the rules in the pinned post. very clearly states no fucking terfs lol) #(ok sorry for the housekeeping! back to sillytimes) #administrative access

[tubbytarchia]

Sorry I'm still feeling dread about maid Jimmy. Poorly made comic thing under cut

Sorry this is gonna take up space but I really wanted it to be viewed as intended and such... I put it under read-more though so no one can complain!!

My art block is as strong as ever and killing me but I'm feeling so emotional and dreadful about that last SOS episode still, I forced my way through it lol. Joel wasn't there when it went down (I'm so fucking glad), which made me think of this instead and uh yeah I'm. Fuck man I dont even care about SOS that much!!!! This has ruined me

The way Pix (didn't really do anything wrong btw) made Jimmy dig a hole because he owed him for saving his life, and then Sausage comes in "aha!!!" and obligates Jimmy to do something for him too, quickly disregarding any uncertainty on Jimmy's half and shifting it onto Jimmy with "You actually reminded me that you owe me" (paraphrasing) grrrrr. And tbf he did talk about dancing at that point, but later Jimmy was clearly made to believe that he'd only be serving drinks and then Sausage goes "you're serving YOURSELF!" GRRRRRRR sorry this is just minecraft I know I know. I'm reading to deep into it yaada yaada. But no fuck that I want Jimmy to be happy and not to be made feel like he owes people things even if they saved him, I don't want Jimmy to talk like he's about to cry, I don't want him to be talked down to, I don't want him to feel like he has no room to object and has to just listen to others or expect to be treated a certain way hardwired into his brain, I don't want his abrasiveness to be more of a sought reaction to bullying/teasing/etc rather than a sign of the confidence he used to have, he's been through enough!!!! I hate this why can't I just awooga at maid Jimmy. That'd make things so much easier. Alas the horrors

#fuck it main tag fuck this!! I put a read-more so I'm alleviated of everything totally #I'm ashamed but. I see what other type of content gets maintagged anyway and that makes me feel better about my own #jimmy solidarity #Im so emotional Im SO emotional about him stop me please #This is just FH again for me my god Jimmy's been through enough!! #tubby art #Joel IS here but I hope to god no one complains about this as if it were shipping just because he's standing opposite of maid Jimmy #I do fucking love them as a duo a lot though (bad boy Grain erasure oops). Need to draw them more... for the betterment of the soul

[dragonsbluee]

I'm trying to count how many times Hiccup is captured/kidnapped throughout both series, the movies and the short films, so here's my criteria:

Any time he is unwillingly moved from one location to another by a dragon, viking or other character.

This includes any dragons picking him up and flying off somewhere, even if he is okay with it later.

This does not include when Toothless/his friends drag him off to show him something.

Any situation that prompted the dragon riders to rescue him.

Any plans that involved him giving himself up or joining up with a villain/antagonist.

This does not include the time he and Dagur were trapped on that island together.

Any time he is tied up and led somewhere or locked up/held in place with a guard.

Here is the list of situations I have compiled in (hopefully) chronological order:

HTTYD

Congratulations, no captures or kidnappings.

GIFT OF THE NIGHT FURY

When Meatlug (accidentally) brings Hiccup along to the Rookery.

RIDERS OF BERK

S1E6 - Hiccup gets taken to Dragon Island.

S1E16 - Hiccup is captured by the Outcasts on their island.

S1E19 - Alvin Captures Hiccup and Toothless at the "Isle of Night".

DEFENDERS OF BERK

S1E20 - Hiccup gives himself up to Dagur as part of his plan with Alvin.

RACE TO THE EDGE

S1E1 - the Dragon Riders get captured by Daugr on a hunter ship.

S1E7 -The twins put him in prison (this one's just here because I think it's funny).

S2E6 - The Dragon Hunters capture him.

S2E11 - The Dragon Riders get captured trying to save the Skrill.

S3E1 - Hiccup is captured by Dragon Hunters while trapped on an island with Dagur.

S3E8 - Hiccup and Toothless get caught in a Dragon Hunter Trap and are kidnapped and forced to participate in dragon fights.

S3E12 - Viggo captures all the Dragon Riders at the auction.

S3E13 - The Defenders of the Wing capture the Dragon Riders.

S4E3 - First Hiccup is caught by Amos and Berthel.

S4E3 - Then he's caught by Savage.

S4E3 - Then Krogan gets him after Throk saves him.

S4E3 - Ryker captures him for the tiniest bit right before the riders arrive.

S4E10 - Hiccup is caught with Ruffnut when he tries to rescue her from Viggo's trap. Unlike the other traps, he needs the other dragon riders to rescue them.

S5E2 - The Sandbuster captures Hiccup and Snotlout.

S6E8 - Viggo hands Hiccup over to Krogan as part of their plan.

HTTYD 2

Valka kidnaps Hiccup and Toothless.

HTTYD 3

Grimmel captures the dragon riders.

HOMECOMING

Once again, no captures of kidnappings

Up For Debate:

There are a few situations which technically fit the criteria, but I'm not sure if they fit considering the context of the show:

S5E5 - the riders are stuck on Vanaheim, guarded by the Sentinels. (Rtte)

S1E3 - This is a technicality, but when Hiccup joins up with Dagur to keep him away from the other dragons. (Dob)

EDIT: I forgot that even though my criteria says that the time Dagur and Hiccup are trapped on that island together (S3E1 of RTTE) doesn't count, because he is joining up with an (at the time) antagonist, there is a moment when Hiccup is captured by Dragon Hunters near the end of the episode.

After careful discussion (aka me ranting at my roommate) S4E10 of RTTE is also moving from "up for debate" to the official list. These changes are reflected above.

This brings our official count to 22 captures/kidnappings!

Honestly, the hardest part about this was finding the distinction between being captured or being trapped and what I wanted to count. When Hiccup isn't captured, he spends a lot of time in traps.

#httyd #how to train your dragon #hiccup and toothless #hiccup haddock #Listen he gets captured/kidnapped an absurd amount #I just wanted to tally it up #race to the edge #defenders of berk #riders of berk #Someone who has read the comics please let me know if he gets captured in those #it's hilarious every time though #dragon riders #how to train your dragon 2 #httyd thw #shoutout to S4E3 of rtte for inspiring this #hiccup has four main moods: captured trapped kidnapped or nerd #whump i guess