#probably gonna feel bad about having made fun of joel to his face for the rest of the night though 🙈

[theflyingfeeling]

can't believe I went to the meet & greet today just to complain to Olli about the free poster not matching my interior design and to tell Joel I'd like one Big Mac, a large drink and garlic dip

#olli told me to change my interior design #joel did not laugh #tough crowd #i'm so sorry joel but in my defence i was dared and also your look with the cap really be like that #i also bonded over dachshunds with aleksi #(said hi from our doxies (showed a picture) and that if rilla doesn't want to go out for walkies in stupid wet weather she doesn't have to) #(and aleksi said that's exactly what rilla was thinking this morning) #said hi to niko and tommi #and wondered to joonas about how he and tommi had already finished signing my thing while i had taken my time bullying joel #probably gonna feel bad about having made fun of joel to his face for the rest of the night though 🙈

[quin-ns]

Sleeping Bag (Joel Miller x Reader)

Word count: 1.7K

Summary: you can’t get comfortable in your sleeping bag, so joel invites you into his

Tags: age gap (mostly implied), anxiety, fluff, protective/caring!joel, comfort, cuddling, sharing a sleeping bag (instead of the one bed trope lol), kissing (forehead and lips), it’s just cute short and fun

A/N: simple and quick, inspired by ep 4 when joel and ellie were in sleeping bags in the woods, but no explicit spoilers. I’ve been wanting to write for joel since episode one and finally got an idea. pretty sure more will be coming soon…

Cross-posted to ao3 • tlou masterlist • writing masterlist

After sleeping in a bed in the QZ’s for years, suddenly trying to get comfortable in a sleeping bag on the ground was proving difficult for you.

What a spoiled thought to have, right? Well, it wasn’t just that. You were out in the open woods. There could be infected anywhere. They could come for you any second. How could you close your eyes and rest peacefully knowing you were no longer behind the barrier walls?

Ellie was already asleep, you could hear her light snores. Your back was facing him, but you assumed Joel was asleep as well given his stillness. You rolled from your side to your back and sighed.

You had to sleep. You should’ve been tired. You and Joel had taken turns driving, although since you didn’t have much driving experience Joel became concerned when you began to struggle with the gear shift and mixed up the pedals (it only happened once but he couldn’t let it go). Joel had grown exhausted and didn’t want to stress you out by making you drive without him as backup/support, so you all stopped for the night. He was thoughtful like that; even if he was a bit grouchy sometimes.

You turned from your back to your other side, eyes landing on Joel. He was facing you, eyes closed, breathing steadily. The older man actually seemed to be at peace. He only looked like that when he was asleep. The moment he woke up, you knew he’d have that slight pout and furrow of his brows that you’d become accustomed to.

If Joel caught you staring, you wondered what he’d say. You could never pinpoint the way he viewed you. Friend? Daughter? Burden? You’d be way more okay with the previous two as long as it wasn’t the third. Although if you were being honest with yourself, you hoped it was none of the above.

Despite his age and his tough nature, you had a thing for Joel. Like, a thing. Feelings, attraction, affection—whatever you wanted to call it. Definitely a crush. Love? Maybe. It was a little bit confusing, but nothing in this life was simple.

Joel had taken you under his wing a while back and looked after you. He was incredibly protective and even if he wasn’t the best with expressing himself, Joel cared for you. He made you feel safe. He was there for you when you had no one else.

You rolled to your other side. Then back. Simply put, tossing and turning. The thought that you were being loud don’t even cross your mind until—

“What are you doing?” Joel’s voice caught your attention.

You let out a sigh, feeling bad that you’d woken the man up. You turned back to face him. “I can’t sleep,” you confessed.

“I can tell,” he murmured. “Do you plan on rolling around all night?”

You frowned to yourself. “I'm sorry.”

Joel exhaled softly and even in the dark, you could see the sympathy in those deep brown eyes of his. You hadn’t realized that subconsciously, you’d moved closer to him.

“It’s okay.” He had a soft spot for you, even though he’d probably deny it.

“I’ll try and be… still, I guess.” You knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep. “Just go back to sleep, I’ll be fine.” That was a lie.

“No,” he decided after a moment. You furrowed your brows. “You need sleep too.”

“I can’t get comfortable,” you replied. You let a few seconds pass before adding, “…and I’m too anxious.”

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” Joel promised like if there was one thing he was sure about, it was that.

It meant a lot, it really did. But you huffed out a humorless laugh and went to a worse case scenario. “You’re all the way over there. If an infected wanted to get me, it could. Before you could stop it.”

Joel was quiet for a few beats. You hadn’t meant to insult him, but it was true. It didn’t matter how safe you felt with him there. They were faster than him. Faster than anyone.

“So then come over here,” Joel offered, voice still thick with sleep. It sounded incredibly enticing.

The image of you crawling into his sleeping bag crossed your mind faster than you could stop it. You had to do a double take. “Like… scoot over there?” you tried to clarify inconspicuously.

“If you’re against sharing with me.”

So, he had meant what you’d hoped for. Your heart skipped a little beat and you swallowed.

“I’m not.”

All Joel did was hum. You unzipped your sleeping bag and left the warmth. Joel was ready and waiting when you moved over to him, enveloping you into the safety of his sleeping bag and heavy arms. You wiggled around a little bit until you got comfortable. For the first time since you’d left the QZ, it didn’t take long.

“Thank you,” you mumbled softly, trying to keep your breathing calm. Being so close to Joel was causing you to become less focused on sleep and more focused on the way his breath sounded so close to your ear.

“Mmhhmm,” he hummed from deep in his throat with closed lips. You thought it was going to be left at that, but then you heard his gruff voice. “I know it’s been hard on you.” You opened your mouth to deny it, but he continued. “Even if you’re too stubborn to admit it beyond makin’ snarky comments.”

You took in a breath. He got you on that one, and you both knew it. “Since when do you know me this well?”

“Since always,” Joel pointed out. “You’re easy to read.”

“For you maybe.”

“Yeah, for me,” he agreed, sounding pleased with himself. Joel was silent for a long moment, listening to the soft rustle of your body as you gazed around your surroundings. The grass, the trees, the darkness… “I’m sorry for being so selfish.”

The sudden apology confused you. “What?”

“You’ve never been outside of the QZ before, and for good reason,” Joel started. “It’s a scary world out here and I shouldn’t have subjected you to it. I shouldn’t have brought you along.”

His voice was full of guilt that seemed to come out of nowhere, but given all he had to say you suspected he’d been carrying it since you left.

“I wanted to come with you,” you assured him. You never second guessed that decision despite everything that had happened so far. “Where is this coming from?”

“You’re scared and it’s my fault.” You could hear the deep frown in his voice.

“You’re the reason I feel safe right now,” you said without a second thought. It was true. You wanted him to know that. There was something you wanted to know too, now, and you couldn’t help but ask. “Do you not want me here?”

“I do,” Joel confessed. “That’s why I’m selfish.” There was a pause but you didn’t dare speak. “I didn’t want to be away from you.”

A wave of realization crashed over you.

You wiggled around, turning until you were facing him. You offered him a soft, delicate smile that you hoped he could see despite the dark.

“It almost sounds like you care about me. A lot,” you couldn’t help but tease.

“You know I care about you,” Joel stated, like it was the most obvious thing. Maybe he’d tried to cover it up in the past, but someone would have to be blind to not see that you meant something to Joel.

“I care about you too,” you admitted with much more ease. He knew, though.

Joel, in an uncharacteristically soft gesture, pressed a kiss to your forehead. You could hardly believe it. But it felt nice. You liked the affection. And coming from someone like Joel who never let their guard down, it was significant enough to leave you speechless.

“It’s gonna be daylight soon,” he muttered. “You should try and get some sleep.”

“Yeah, okay,” you agreed with a slight nod. “Just… one more thing.” It took everything you had to be brave enough to say that, and to do what you were going to do next.

There was basically no space between the two of you, but you managed to bring your hand up to Joel’s face and cup his jaw. You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

Joel didn’t hesitate to kiss you back. He took charge, but it wasn’t surprising. He had a dominating presence and was rough around the edges, you didn’t think he’d be delicate with you.

Not that you minded.

His lips moved against yours, almost in a frenzy. Like he was scared you’d slip away from him. It was so needy, so passionate. You wished you would’ve done this much, much sooner

Joel found the willpower to break away from the kiss before you. You would’ve happily lost consciousness in order to kiss him for just a few more moments. But then you’d worry him, and you hated to see Joel worry.

But you didn’t see worry when you looked into his eyes. You saw a hint of wonder. You were both staring into a new beginning as you gazed upon one another. He was panting a little, both of your soft breaths intertwining.

“You need sleep,” he reminded you.

Of course he still couldn’t drop the protector role. He wasn’t wrong about that, either. You smiled to yourself, the feel of his lips still ghosting yours despite the distance. You twisted in the sleeping bag without a word, knowing that you’d never be able to sleep facing Joel. You’d probably be too busy staring at him…

So yeah, you laid with your back to his chest and closed your eyes. His arms held you tight against his firm body. Not only providing warmth, but security as well.

“Goodnight,” Joel mumbled to you, already dozing back off. You could hear the soft smile in his voice despite the tiredness. It seemed easier for him to sleep wherever, although you liked to think you were bringing him some kind of comfort as well. With the way he held you against him it wouldn’t be an unrealistic thought.

“Goodnight, Joel,” you replied softly, finally able to relax your breathing. The feel of Joel’s body pressed against you, his strong arms around you—it felt like a dream. Safe and sound, away from the dangers that lie not far off. And soon enough, you were finally able to close your eyes and fall into a peaceful sleep.

#quin-ns writing #joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us #pedro pascal #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel x reader #the last of us spoilers #joel miller x y/n #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #ellie williams

[macfrog]

state-of-the-art sex on fire chapter two

*chants* ceo joel ceo joel ceo joel

part 2 to you shook me all night long!!! massive credit to @whore-4-pedro again for the concept this is SO much fun. work trip coming soon babies!!! masterlist here, ao3 here 💓

pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader

summary: joel’s had a rough week at work. you figure you know the perfect way to relieve some of his tension

warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) more teasing and touching, oral (m receiving), getting handsy in public + fingering, unprotected semi-public piv sex, creampie, daddy kink, softdom!joel, age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), cursing, workplace relationship

word count: 6.6k

series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist

The stretch is too much; he’s all the way in down to his knuckles, curling and then uncurling his fingers deep inside you. Your hips are slowly circling by instinct, rutting against his hand as it fucks you, sending fluttery waves of pleasure all over your body. You ball up your fist, nails digging half-moons into the skin of your palm, attempting to fight the tidal wave fast approaching as Joel’s fingers snap harder into you, a third beckoning your orgasm nearer and nearer. You’re there – right where he wants you, almost throwing your head back with the feeling he’s giving you. And then you make the mistake of looking at him, catching that ever so Joel smile when, shielded from the others by his hand, he breathes, “There’s my girl.”

The black mug. Not the one with the gold handle – that’s one of Martha’s. She doesn’t use it much – at least not as much as the one with her granddaughter’s face printed on it – but she once left you with a stack of paperwork to shred all by yourself just ‘cause you made yourself a tea in it.

No. Just plain black all over. No words, no pictures. Plain. Black.

Few spoonsful of coffee into the filter, hard granules sprinkling over the white paper. Close the lid, flick the switch, and then wait for it to brew. Once it’s done, fill the mug almost to the top – until the coffee kisses the bottom of that one chip in the ceramic. No sugar. No sweetener. No nothing.

Just plain black.

“Thanks, darlin’.” Joel takes the mug carefully from your hands as you wander over, then you perch yourself by his side on Martha’s desk. He takes a sip and nods like usual, confirming what you already know.

You make a damn good cup of coffee.

“You’re worth, what, a few hundred million? You can’t buy a better coffee machine?”

“’s wrong with that one?” he asks, mug on his bottom lip.

“Works like it’s from the eighties or something.”

Martha clears her throat behind you both. “I am gonna give you five seconds to explain what you mean by that.”

“I mean…it’s not exactly state-of-the-art, is it?”

Joel’s jaw drops dramatically. His head wobbles like it’s about to implode, hearing what you just said. “You hear that, Martha? We ain’t state-of-the-art anymore, you ‘n me. We’re older ‘n that coffee machine, you know.”

Martha’s shaking her head, clicking away at her computer.

Joel nudges your arm with a soft chuckle and you sigh, turning away to watch the four men in his office; stood an awkward distance apart, small talking, pacing, adjusting their suits. One of them is messing with some trinket on Joel’s bookshelf.

“You think they’re nervous?” you ask, and he laughs from behind you.

“I reckon they’ve a lot to be nervous about.”

“Was it that bad? On Monday?”

Joel had spent the better part of four hours locked in that conference room, right after you two – you know. He was late for lunch by the time he was ushering them out, collars loose, jackets slung over arms. It was probably a good thing you’d tired him out a little beforehand, or he’d have been way more unforgiving than he was.

Three departments in Joel’s company have gone over budget. It isn’t a huge deal. He has the money. Just, he wants the right people in charge of it, and right now…he clearly doesn’t have that. Honestly, you hate to admit it, but it makes sense. You’re kinda on Joel’s side.

He’d given them to the end of the week to come up with action plans, figure out how to undo the mess. This is the end of the week. This is supposed to be the big reveal.

Joel runs a hand through his hair, palm hooking around the back of his neck.

“Wasn’t great,” he mutters.

You knew that much. You’d asked what he wanted to eat as he passed your desk en route back to his office, and he’d waved his hand and told you to order whatever you wanted with his card. When his door closed, you glanced over to Martha, who shrugged, and went back to playing solitaire.

You figured he wasn’t down for more sex. He didn’t reappear until five o’clock, when he walked you down to the street, carrying your jacket for you, and helped you into your cab.

The elevator dings and the brass doors separate, revealing a figure behind.

George Mackley. Short. Stout. Obnoxiously bright red tie. Head of marketing.

He waddles in a hurry toward the three of you, nodding curtly to Joel as he passes. His shaking hand fumbles around the handle of the office door, which he pulls on instead of pushing, and gives an awkward chuckle before rushing inside.

“Fuckin’…finally,” Joel grunts, passing you his mug and standing up.

“Should I order my own lunch again?” you ask, looking up at the man stretching his arms out before you. Like he’s about to go in and punch sense into them all.

You’d probably love him to do that. It’d make for some great sex afterward.

“I’ll be takin’ a lunch break,” he replies, tapping your knee, “whether we’re done or not. Be out at one.”

You nod, and he stalks off to his office. His mug’s still warm in your lap. You’re still staring when he enters the room, watching how all five men immediately file into the couches across from his desk just at the sight of him. Watching how Joel’s lean figure sits back against his desk, his ankles crossed. His arms folded at his chest. His broad shoulders beneath that tight white shirt.

He has that way about him. Commanding, confident. Strong. It’s probably what convinced you to fold, if you’re honest. Sure, he’s kind, and he’s a good boss, all things considered. He’s funny. But he’s cool. It takes a lot to shake Joel.

This meeting? It’s not shaking him. He’s barely even giving these guys enough attention to sit up straight. He’s so damn breezy, so laidback that when he pushes off of his desk and stands up, you give a small gasp.

You lift his mug, drinking from the same spot his lips touched only minutes ago.

“Thought you hated black coffee,” Martha murmurs.

“Stress sipping,” you reply. “Fucking hell…”

Joel’s erratic. Waving his arms, pacing around the room. You swear the men cower as he approaches; shoulders hunched and heads low until he’s past them.

He looks…Yeah. Fuck it. He looks a little shaken.

Martha tuts. “Shouldn’t be idiots with his money.”

“He has money, though,” you offer. “Like, this ain’t that big a deal, is it? He can afford to go over budget sometimes.”

“Joel doesn’t like anyone messin’ with what’s his,” she tells you. “Doesn’t like other hands on his toys. It’s not the overspending he’s pissed about. It’s the crossin’ the line.”

Your eyebrow cocks. She can’t see your expression, and good thing, because it’d probably give you away. Doesn’t like other hands on his toys.

A flash of movement from Joel’s office drags your eyes from the dregs of his coffee back to the transparent wall between you. He’s whipping the shades closed one by one, putting a barrier between his office and the outside world.

It can’t mean anything good, right? It doesn’t look like they’re about to sit in a circle and braid each other’s hair. Sure as hell aren’t about to see Joel’s good side.

“I gotta go in,” you declare, lifting off of Martha’s desk like you’ve taken flight.

She calls your name, almost tired of your antics. “I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

But you’re already scooping up a notepad, slipping it under your arm and fishing a pen from your desk. Already walking over to the office door, hearing the dangerous hum of Joel’s voice through the wood.

Your knuckles rap three times. You don’t wait to be called inside. Just push the handle down and slip in.

He’s stood against the frame of one of the windows, hands in his pockets. When you materialize from behind the door, his face relaxes. Brows loosen, jaw slackens. Lips almost tug into a smile.

“Sorry I’m late.” You sidle over to his desk and sit down in his chair, biting on your bottom lip, casting an unsure glance around the room.

Five pale faces turned to you. George Mackley looks like he’s about to weep.

Joel thanks you and then steps forward. “So, Ken, we were at last month’s sales.”

“Uh, yeah…” Ken draws his gaze from you when Joel moves in front of the desk. As he waltzes by, he spins slowly, giving you a look as he passes.

Kill me, he mouths, rolling his eyes. You smile, looking down at your blank notebook. You’re not here to take the fucking minutes. You know that, Joel knows that. You’re only here so he has something to keep him from losing it. Something to sit and look pretty, and calm him down.

Also: you kinda want the gossip. What the fuck did these guys do with all of Joel’s money, right?

Almost two hours in, a dozen games of tic-tac-toe against yourself, and one very crude drawing of Monday morning’s activities, Joel startles you by slamming a file down onto his glass coffee table.

“And you think that’s a solution?” he spits, voice laced with fury.

“Joel, you gotta see it from my side. I’m managing thirty people down there, it’s–”

“’n I’m managing five idiots from up here. Mackley,” he turns to the face as red as the tie below it, “you got anythin’ else for me?”

George Mackley shakes his head. His hair’s unkempt; it was gelled flat to his head when he arrived, but his hands have been through it more times than Joel’s lapped the office.

“Alright. Y’know what,” Joel seethes, backing up and motioning for them to stand, “everyone out. Meeting’s over. Go.”

“Joel–” A tall man with blue eyes stands up.

“If you ain’t about to offer me somethin’ that can fuckin’ fix this mess, then shut your mouth and get out of my office. All of you.”

The men sheepishly collect their briefcases, their documents, themselves, and stand, filing out of the door one by one. You rise from Joel’s chair, taking your notepad between your fingers, and slowly wander around the desk.

He’s standing with his head in his hands, shoulders swelling with his breathing. Does he want you to leave, too? You don’t want to rile him more; certainly don’t want to be the first face his angry self sees. But you want to make sure he’s okay. Want to check on him.

Plus, he’s kind of hot when he’s pissed.

You’re tottering toward the door when Joel drops his hands from his face, notices you, and says, plain as the coffee in his mug, “Not you.”

You turn back, pushing the door closed behind you.

“Didn’t mean to yell.”

You don’t reply. Your hand lifts to find the lock blindly behind your hip, and you click it. Now there’s nobody, no one to disturb you both. No one to walk in, no one to see.

You approach him.

He’s still talking: “Didn’t want you to have to hear all that. I spoil your morning?”

Your head shakes and you mutely take his hands, leading him around to his chair and pushing him back into it.

“Baby, what–”

You part his legs with your own, his fingers still interlocked with yours. Then you think he gets it. Understands where you’re going.

You sink to your knees between his thighs.

“They were bein’ idiots,” you say, fingers undoing his belt. “’n you didn’t spoil my mornin’. You gave me a little bit of excitement.”

Joel’s breath shudders as he watches you tug his belt through the loops of his pants and drop it to the floor. Still, he laughs, and asks, “Is that so?”

“N– Oh, fuck. Not like that. Like–” You pause, breathing out a sigh.

Yeah, okay. Like that, if you want. I’m down if you are.

His pants are open, lying loose on his hips. The waistband of his boxers visible. You hook two fingers over it and peel it down a fraction, following Joel’s happy trail as it grows thicker and darker, when he puts a hand over yours and breathes your name.

“Relax,” you mutter back, nudging his hand off of yours. “Just let me take care of you.”

His head falls against the back of his chair and his shoulders sink into the leather. You pull on the elastic and take hold of the base of his cock, already stiff, slipping it out from beneath the black cotton.

Joel’s knees fall slack when you take a hold of him. Two hands, because he’s so fucking big. Your fists pump him a few times, feeling him harden in your grasp, warm skin rock solid in your hands. You lean forward on your knees, thick bead of saliva falling from your lips onto his head, dribbling down his smooth shaft.

Joel’s watching through hooded lids. Caressing your hair, petting you. Your fingers collect your spit and drag it up and down him, and you swear he almost fucking whines.

Almost isn’t enough. You want to really hear him. So you slacken your jaw, part your lips, and slide them down, tongue flat against the underside of his length as he fills your mouth. Joel’s fist tightens, pulls harshly on your hair for just a second, until he’s breathing out again in relief, body relaxing to the feel of your wet tongue around his hard cock.

“Don’t need to – do this, babygirl.”

“Mhm,” you mumble around him.

“Fuck…” he whispers.

Your elbows are hooked over his thighs, holding yourself up in place between his legs. He tastes salty; skin warm, smooth. Your tongue flickers over his head, collecting precum, and Joel groans.

You pull off of him and lick your lips.

“What you gonna do?” you ask, fingers squeezing and dragging saliva and Joel’s arousal up and down. “About the budget stuff?”

His chest is heaving, hips lifting out of the seat almost like he’s trying to put himself back where he belongs. “What…can I do?” he asks through desperate pants. “Can’t – fuck – can’t drum sense into ‘em.”

You wrap your puffy lips around his tip, kissing it, tongue playing with him again. Swirling around, gathering him on your tastebuds. “Why don’t you cut ‘em loose, then?”

Your head dips again, lips sucking around his shaft, tongue still darting around his swollen head.

He can barely fucking answer. His eyes close over and, with a groan either side of the sentence, he replies, “’s not that easy, baby. Fuck. Keep doin’ that.”

You loosen your lips enough to let your reply pass them. Your voice is muffled, thick. “Sounds easy to me.”

“Shut up,” he grunts. “Keep fuckin’ – usin’ your tongue.”

You obey, running your tongue up and down his length and coming to rest to pay more attention to his tip.

“Yeah, just like that. Good girl.”

You hollow your cheeks and let your lips trickle up and down for a bit before releasing him with a pop. Joel’s writhing underneath you, leaning almost horizontal in his chair.

“Gonna cum, daddy?”

He nods, eyes still screwed shut. “Yeah, pretty girl. You want it down your throat again?”

“Mhm.”

“Fuck – dirty girl.”

It’s all the encouragement you need. You widen your jaw, taking him in your mouth in full, until he’s choking you down to what feels like the bottom of your fucking neck. You fuck him with your throat, bobbing up and down, his fist in your hair pushing and pulling even though you don’t need him to. Your mouth meets the skin at the base of his cock over and over, dark hair brushing against your glossy lips.

Joel’s moaning each time, when his cock kisses the back of your throat, when you involuntarily choke around him, when your tongue drags along his length as he pulls you up and down. And soon his breathing loses rhythm, hips tense, and you know he’s there.

He cums, hard, at the back of your mouth. Warm release spilling out over your tongue, neatly running down your throat as you wait for him to still. His cock throbs with each shot of cum, swelling and jerking between your lips. When Joel sinks back into his chair again, you slip him out of your mouth and back under his boxershorts.

Your head lulls to the side, resting on his big thigh as you swallow him with a smile on your lips. His grip on your hair loosens, turns instead back to soft stroking, chest still panting as he comes back down. You watch him through glazed eyes; his shoulders rising and falling, breaths passing his lips like waves at the beach.

He’s twirling your hair gently around his finger, looking down at you like you’re made of twinkling gold dust.

Eventually, Joel takes a deep breath and sits up straight, beckoning you to do the same. He tucks his shirt back in, redoes his pants, then leans forward and hooks both hands under your arms, pulling you up to him.

You giggle as he lifts you onto his lap, straddling him with your knees either side of his waist. Your elbows rest on his shoulders, hands linking at the back of his neck.

His jaw turns upward, and you lower yours, your lips meeting in a soft embrace. You laugh against him, letting his tongue slip into your mouth, pushing yours into his.

“Better?” you ask once you part.

“Better, darlin’. Thank you.”

He kisses you again, a little more rushed, little less tender. Then his hands squeeze your ass and you squeal into his mouth, jumping up off of him.

You pass him his belt and lift the empty coffee mug off of his desk. “Refill?”

“Yeah. Sure. Thanks,” he says, slipping the leather through his belt loops. His shoulders are lifted, tummy sucked in as he feeds it through. He almost looks cute.

You smile and then turn on your heels, wiping the corners of your mouth as you emerge from the office.

—————

“Is he comin’, or what?”

“Huh?”

Martha jerks her head in the direction of Joel’s office. She’s stood at your desk, hands on her hips, bag over her shoulder.

“He’s…Yeah, he said he would be. Let me go check.”

You close over the budget report file you’d been reading through and shimmy out from behind your desk, trying to amble as casually as possible over to the shuttered blinds.

You turn the handle, poking your head around the door.

He’s stood at his desk, raking a hand through his hair, top button of his shirt undone. Tie sitting loose around his collar. He spots you and gives an apologetic smile.

You comin’? you mouth.

Joel points to his phone. Some panicked voice fills the silence between you both.

“…so I gave the two of ‘em a tellin’; they shouldn’t make any more purchase orders without my permission. Without your permission, Joel, I mean…And about last month’s sales, too…”

You step over to his desk, slow, suspicious. Mischief on your mind.

“Sorry, baby,” he whispers, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

You cock your head, brows furrowing. You’d been looking forward to lunch with Joel all day; something to take his mind off the meeting this morning.

Martha had called his favorite restaurant, they’d told her they had no space, she’d mentioned it was for Mr. Miller, and a table had magically opened up. Then you’d encouraged her to ask Deb, knowing she’d inevitably ask James, her admin assistant, and, before you knew it, your small lunch was a party of five.

Worked for you. You and Joel would probably be too caught up in each other’s company to notice the rest.

Except, the way things are looking, Joel isn’t getting off this call anytime soon. Soon meaning within the next thirty seconds, given the reservation is in ten minutes.

You’re growing desperate. Running out of time, knowing if you don’t do something to shut this guy the fuck up, your little daydream of sitting side by side with Joel, so close you can feel the heat off of him, feel his chest vibrate when he talks, maybe even feel his hand trailing up your thigh…won’t come true.

“What if you just…” Your fingers walk along Joel’s desktop, heading for his phone. “…lost…connection…?”

He doesn’t say a word, but the smirk that forms across his lips grants you all the permission you need. Your fingers clutch the receiver, lifting it barely an inch, then drop it back into its cradle. The panicked voice cuts.

“Oops.” You shrug, straightening up in front of Joel.

“Oops,” he repeats, wrapping his strong arms around your shoulders and pulling you into him again. You lift your jaw to kiss him only quickly, before you’re pushing yourself off of his chest and dragging him away from his desk.

“Sorry, Ken!” you call as Joel yanks the door open, the pair of you laughing like schoolkids.

You meet the others outside the building, huddled together at the bottom of the concrete steps. Deb puts her cigarette out on top of a trashcan when you both approach.

“Well, we thought you weren’t comin’,” she utters to Joel.

He lifts his eyebrows in response, hands slipping into his pockets, and glances around the group. “We goin’?”

“Waiting for your driver, Mr. CEO.” Martha winks.

“Aha,” Joel replies, face unmoving, “funny.”

“It’s, like, two blocks, we can walk,” you say, setting off down the street. Joel’s quick to follow, strolling at your side, but there’s a chorus of groans from the rest of your party. “Come on!” you yell over your shoulder.

“We’re supposed to be dining with the head of the fuckin’ company!” Martha cries, and Deb cackles.

“I gotta live like the rest of y’all sometimes,” Joel shrugs, walking backward, “keeps my feet rooted, doesn’t it?”

“I hate you,” you mutter, and he knocks into your shoulder with his own.

The Courtyard is bright, modern, and…beige. It’s only Joel’s favorite because it was a buddy of his from grad school who opened it, but you’re the only person he’s entrusted with that information. It’s decent food – they do a great chicken risotto – and it is always busy, so Drew must be doing alright with it.

You walk under a fake ivy plant covering the entrance, past twinkling fairy lights and to a rustic wooden reception area. Some hyper server comes bounding over and introduces himself as Jake, before Martha gives the name of the reservation and he batters it into a keyboard.

“Lopez?” you ask Martha, screwing your face up.

“Yeah. Comma Jennifer. I like to make it exciting.”

“If you wanted exciting, go for Beyoncé, or something. Lopez?”

“You really think Beyoncé is gonna come eat here?”

“You really think Jennifer Lopez is?”

She bats you away, turning her attention to Deb, who finds the JLo joke hilarious. When Jake springs off, beckoning you all to follow him, Joel leans in close to you.

“She used to use Pamela Anderson. Glad she’s evolved a little.”

You snort and follow Jake toward the same table Joel always sits at: the very back of the restaurant, quieter, separated by screens of more fake greenery. Windows looking out over the busy streets. Bare lightbulbs hanging from unnecessarily long wires over the tables.

Joel pulls your chair out for you and slots in beside you, on your right. Martha, Deb, and James – who hasn’t said or done much more than chortle at anything Joel’s said – sit opposite. Jake borderline frisbees the menus at you guys and tells you to give him a shout when you’re ready to order.

You turn to Joel who shakes his head, hand cupping his chin.

The five of you scan down the menus – at least, you, Joel and Martha pretend to. You’ve been coming here regularly enough for long enough that you know what you’ll inevitably end up ordering. James is asking Deb if the steak might fill him up too much before his squash practice later on tonight when you feel a familiar heat on your leg, and look past your menu to see Joel’s hand curving around your thigh.

You hold back a smile, pretending to be really into the laminated sheet in your hands. So long as he keeps it PG, and James keeps rabbiting on about squash being good for your hand-eye co-ordination, this is fine. This is…enjoyable.

This is exactly what you fucking wanted, when you organized lunch.

But when Jake returns to collect the menus under his arm then scurries back off, and Martha and Deb start discussing some TV show they’re both hooked on, Joel’s hand begins to rake higher. Taking the hem of your skirt with it. You suck in a deep breath, pretending to watch the two women and trying your best to listen to the words they’re saying, but he’s getting dangerously close to your–

“You ever try squash, Joel?”

“Huh?” Joel’s hand halts instantly. You exhale.

James is sitting forward, elbows on the table, nodding with a perfectly innocent smile on his face. “Squash. Yeah. I play every Friday evening, straight after work. It’s fantastic for shakin’ off that week-long stress, y’know? Not that workin’ here is a stress, but sometimes it can build up, sometimes you just need something to…” He balls his fists and jerks them, gritting his teeth.

You choke on a laugh and play it off as a cough.

Joel shifts a little in his seat, his palm still clamped around the top of your thigh. “Never played squash. More of a golfing guy.”

“That what you’re gonna do this weekend? Burn off all that stress you’ve had with a round of golf?” you ask Joel, lips almost trembling with the effort it’s taking you not to burst out laughing.

“Not what I had in mind, naw,” he almost spits back.

“Well, if you ever wanna try it, you know who to call. Squash, I mean. I mean – sorry, I don’t mean call squash. I mean call me. To try squash. You won’t find a better stress reliever.”

“Thanks, James,” Joel mutters, fingers fumbling with the cutlery on the table in front of him.

You could fucking burst. No better stress reliever than squash, right Joel? Nothing like it. Not even the one sitting next to you, her thigh under your grasp. Nope.

You’re thankful when Martha calls your name and averts your attention.

“You have got to watch it. I reckon she’d really love it, right?”

Deb nods eagerly.

“What’s that?” you ask.

They both start chirping away, describing the plot of some mystery thriller. It’s hard to keep up, what with them both speaking over one another, deciding which parts are safe to tell you and No, we can’t tell her that, that’s a spoiler, which actors are in it and how many episodes it took for them to really get into it.

Not to mention Joel’s hand, which has resumed its climb up your leg.

“There are three seasons,” Martha says, finger drawing shapes on her placemat, “and do not go lookin’ online for anything, because at the end of season two, there’s a massive death, and…”

Your thighs are bare again, skirt rolled up and held at the top of your legs by Joel’s wrist. He’s squeezing as he goes, massaging, driving you fucking insane as he adds more and more pressure. Still, your legs part for him the higher he goes.

“W-what– where can I watch it?” you ask, your eyes closing over as Joel’s fingers loosen their grip.

Deb says something, but it’s muffled. Drowned out by the ringing in your ears. Joel’s right hand sits under his chin, elbow propped on the table as if he’s musing over the weather or considering what to do with his weekend.

His left moves swiftly over to run along the elastic of your panties. Sift his thumb down below them. Fingers drop to cup you over the lace fabric. Suddenly, you’re sitting upright, your arms propping on the table, then falling to your lap, then one elbow up, then both down again.

What the fuck– how the fuck do you make this look casual? Being touched by your boss at lunch, with three colleagues sat opposite you?

Joel seems to be enjoying watching you squirm. You hear him breathe a laugh into his hand, and then his fingers begin to travel even further south, moving your panties to the side to sift through your folds.

Which are, regrettably, fucking soaked.

“Hm,” you hear Joel hum, and you can’t look at him. Knowing he’s found exactly what he was looking for. Knowing he’s achieved exactly what he set out to do.

You sit stunned, staying completely still for fear you might draw attention from your company. But then he’s dipping a finger in, pushing deep inside you, and your jaw falls loose, a silent moan escaping in the form of a sigh.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Martha addresses you and Joel, “as requested, flights organized. You leave for Paris next Friday morning, fly home Monday afternoon.”

“Yep,” you reply, shuddering slightly. “Sounds good.”

You’re not fucking listening to a word she’s saying.

“Thanks, Martha,” Joel says, as casual as if he were telling her the time. Almost bored.

You drop your hand and it clamps around Joel’s wrist; you’re sure you’re scratching him, but you don’t care. Not only does he deserve it, but it’s all you can do to stop yourself from screaming out when he inserts a second finger.

The stretch is too much; he’s all the way in down to his knuckles, curling and then uncurling his fingers deep inside you. Your hips are slowly circling by instinct, rutting against his hand as it fucks you, sending fluttery waves of pleasure all over your body.

You ball up your fist, nails digging half-moons into the skin of your palm, attempting to fight the tidal wave fast approaching as Joel’s fingers snap harder into you, a third beckoning your orgasm nearer and nearer.

You’re there – right where he wants you, almost throwing your head back with the feeling he’s giving you. And then you make the mistake of looking at him, catching that ever so Joel smile when, shielded from the others by his hand, he breathes, “There’s my girl.”

It’s the last push. The last fucking shove.

Your walls clamp around his fist, your entire body screams, a scream that forcibly dies out in your throat as you lean forward and –

You slam your fist down on the tabletop, the sudden jolt of cutlery and glass making the three opposite you jump.

“Are you– what’s wrong?” Martha asks, leaning closer.

“Cr– fuck– cramp,” you mumble, eyes screwed shut, hand still gripping Joel’s wrist. He slowly drags his soaked fingers out of your tight cunt, casually maneuvering his arm back where it belongs whilst the table’s attention is still on your head and shoulders.

“Cramp?”

“My – fucking – leg. I’ll be – right back.” You’re almost hyperventilating as you shakily stand, shoving your chair back with your legs only for it to be caught by the hand Joel had inside you seconds before.

You waddle off to the front of the restaurant, nearly breaking out into a run when you reach the hallway leading to the restrooms. The door to the ladies room bursts open and you throw yourself against a sink, gripping onto the ceramic, chest heaving, shoulders hunched. Your cunt is still throbbing, waves of your orgasm slowly losing power and retreating.

You wave your hand under the faucet and cold water automatically flows, filling your cupped hands, cooling your blood, cooling your skin when you dab it onto your cheeks. You sigh with relief, leaning against the sink, catching pathetic glimpses of yourself in the mirror.

And then, the door pushes open. And his silhouette sneaks inside. He leans back against the wall, hands in his pockets. Face with a smirk you want to slap off of him.

“How’s the cramp?”

“Are you fucking–” You flick your hands toward him, splashing him with water as he throws an arm up to dodge it, laughing. That fucking laugh.

He wanders around you, looking your shaking body up and down, and comes to a halt with his chest against your back. His chin leans into your shoulder, and you look at each other in the mirror.

It takes everything in you to fight the smile growing on your lips, but when Joel mirrors it, you can’t help it.

“Fucker,” you whisper, and he kisses your shoulder. You lean back into him, ass pressing against him, feeling something you already suspected would be there.

“Feel what you did to me?” he asks, voice muffled into the cotton of your shirt.

“Mhm,” you reply, and you drop your hand to take the outline of him through his pants.

“You wanna fix it for me?”

Your head rolls back against his shoulder, smutty grin melting across your face. “Yeah, daddy.”

“Good girl,” he tells you, lips dragging across your neck, hands at his belt.

Your fingers clutch your skirt, still hiked halfway up your thighs, and pull it further. Joel’s hands replace yours on your hips and he shoves his pants apart, lining his bulge up with your core. Then his palm is at the bottom of your back, pushing you forward into position. Your knuckles whiten around the ceramic sink.

“Fuck,” you whisper when you feel his tip at your entrance. You’re already soaked through, no need for him to take his time. Not that you have time, anyway, with three coworkers out front waiting for the two of you.

Joel thrusts forward, entering you in one go, filling you up so fast you nearly double over. He keeps a tight grip on your hips, dragging you up and down the top of his cock a few times before slamming all the way into you again, eliciting a cry from your lips.

“Quiet, babygirl,” he says, low, dangerous. “Just gettin’ you warmed up.”

“Your hand wasn’t enough of a warmup?” you throw over your shoulder, and he takes your arms and pulls you flush against him.

“You gonna run that pretty mouth the entire time we’re in here, or you gonna let me fuck you?” he breathes around the shell of your ear.

“Both.”

You bite back a whimper when his hips buck into you painfully. A telling: don’t start.

Joel establishes a pace quick enough, both of you aware you can’t take too long in here. His grunts match the rate his body snaps against yours, your panting matches the rate you bounce up and down on him.

You’re watching the sight reflected in the mirror: Joel hooked around your shoulder, lips against your ear, whispering praises and filth, and you, leaning back against him, rutting on his hard cock with a thick smile on your lips.

“Daddy…” you whine, and Joel’s vice grip tightens even more.

“Good girl,” he pants, “so fuckin’ good for me.”

It’s not long before that heat is swirling around your core again, sparks of lightning jolting through the whirlwind of pleasure Joel’s hips create between yours. You take a hold of his arms for stability as you begin to feel your orgasm crest the horizon, knowing by the sounds he’s making in your ear that Joel isn’t far off, either.

“Cum in me,” you whimper, watching for his reaction in the mirror.

He pulls a face that’s almost…defeated. Groans like you’ve given him an impossible problem to solve.

You plead with your eyes. “Cum – in – me.”

It’s like you’re pressing on the weakest part of a porcelain vase; daring it to break. Daring it to fall apart. Joel knows he shouldn’t, knows it’s more sensible not to. But the way you look, body against his, whining and whimpering and fucking smiling right back at him – the way you feel, so warm and wet, squeezing him so tight he’s surprised he’s even lasted this long…

He can’t fucking help himself.

He moans and his hands clamp on your waist, forcing you forward as he ruts into you once, twice, three times before he’s twitching deep inside, warm seed spilling out and coating your walls. Your release floods over you, then, too, your head falling forward as your legs give for a few seconds, Joel’s grip the only thing keeping you upright.

Stars in your eyes, you pull the strength to lift your head and look at your reflection; Joel behind you, face to the ceiling as he slowly stills between your legs.

Your cunt throbs, and you move your hips back and forth gently, drawing a noise from Joel that you wish you could never stop hearing.

“Baby,” he lulls, looking down to watch as your dripping cunt rocks back and forth, taking him all and then letting him go again.

It’s a minute or so before you both return to reality. Bodies still connected, Joel places a steady kiss to your cheek. You lean into him, turning to place your lips against his. You’re both hot, sweaty, it’s probably pretty noticeable you just fucked.

And you don’t care.

Joel slips out of you and backs up, letting you fix yourself in the mirror as he stuffs himself back into his pants.

“You think you can walk back to the office?” he asks, smirking.

“Call Rand,” you reply, and his head tips back in a laugh.

He nods toward the door and the pair of you slip out discreetly, you first to check the coast is clear, and Joel right behind. You walk along the hallway, heels clicking, like you’ve just come across each other right outside the restrooms.

“Hey, Joel,” a voice says from behind you both as you wander past the bar.

“Drew,” Joel replies, and shakes the hand of a tall blonde guy in all black. His t-shirt’s so tight you can make out his pecs underneath it.

“How’s it goin’? You been in long?”

“Just waitin’ for our food,” Joel says, “it’s probably out by now.” He glances over at you and your legs clench subconsciously. He introduces you then, says, “My assistant. Best assistant I could ask for,” and your lungs close up.

Drew shakes your hand and then turns back to Joel. “Don’t go without catchin’ me, ain’t lettin’ you pay a thing. How’s business?”

Joel nods. “Good, good. We’re, uh, we’re heading out to Europe next week, so.”

“Jean-Marc?”

“Yep.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. Place is lookin’ good, same as always.” Joel glances around, pointing randomly to the light fixture above your heads.

Drew does that thing men do when trapped in a dry conversation: folds his arms, looks to the floor, and nods some more. Waiting for Joel to say —

“Alright, well. Great seein’ you again. Thanks for lunch.”

He puts an arm around your back and guides you off back to the table.

“Nice meetin’ you.” You smile at Drew as you pass and he returns it, turning back to the bar.

Once you’re out of earshot, you look over to Joel.

“Something going on there?”

“Huh?”

You scoff. “You two couldn’t wait to be away from each other. Why’d you always come here if it’s so awkward?”

“Well, if I see ‘im, I get free food.”

You slap his arm as he pulls your chair back out for you.

“Feelin’ better?” Deb asks, pushing French fries around her plate.

You nod, pulling your seat in beside Joel, who’s still laughing at himself. As you settle, you feel the warmth he left behind spill out of you a little, pooling in your underwear. And Joel seems to notice, whether from some sexual sixth sense he has when it comes to you, or just the way you awkwardly shift in your seat. He hands you a smug smirk, nudging you with his elbow.

You narrow your eyes at him and turn back to Martha.

“So, you were saying you fixed the flights for Paris?”

----------

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#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #ceo!joel miller #ceo!joel #the last of us #tlou #tlou fic #joel miller smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal joel miller #joel miller x you #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #softdom!joel miller #softdom!joel

[talaok]

The cheating

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Summary: You misinterpret a situation and think that Joel is cheating on you.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, misunderstanding *not proofread*

| Request |

"where's Joel?"

"I'm happy to see you too Ellie" you joked, easing her backpack off her shoulders.

"No, I just mean, he usually picks me up from school" she explained

"He was busy today" 

"doing what? What's more important than me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"first of all, I love the way you think, never change it, second off all, I don't really know, he went out in a rush"

"He didn't tell you?"

"no, not really"

"oh I'm gonna have a field day scolding him about not declaring where he's going like he wants me to do"

"he does that because he loves you"

"yeah, well, it's time he gets a sip of his own love" she air-quoted the last word, making you smile.

"you little demon" you chuckled, pulling her closer as you started walking off.

"what the fuck?" you exclaimed, as you swung her backpack on your shoulders "What the fuck do you have in here?"

She looked up at you, a malicious glint in her eyes

"Have you ever heard of books?"

__ __ __

"So how was school?" you asked, as you rounded a corner to get onto the main street.

The wind was blowing but the sun was up in the sky, resulting in the perfect temperature.

The pebbles under your feet sounded with each step as the commune's buildings started surrounding you.

"useless, as usual," Ellie grumbled, her tone scarily matching her dad's. 

"oh c'mon, I'm sure you learned some interesting things"

"nope"

You glared at her "Did you at least have some fun?"

A smile crossed her face "That I did" she said, "Me and Dina found a dead frog!"

"ew! gross!" you grimaced "You call that fun?!"

She laughed "I do, it was so soft and... sticky" She touched her fingers like the feelings still lingered on them, and you watched with more than a bit of terror as her eyes sparkled at the memory.

It was at times like this you wondered just how much she had taken from Joel.

"I'm gonna puke" you commented, making her snort 

"Relax we didn't do anything bad, Dina insisted we gave it a funeral"

"thank god" you breathed a sigh of relief "That poor thing,"

"We buried it under a tree and gave speeches and everything, it was really moving"

"What did you say?" you asked, as you surpassed the refectory

"You know, the usual stuff" she shrugged "How good of a frog she was, how she'll be deeply missed yadda yadda yadda"

"of course" you chuckled "the usual stuff"

She smiled too now "I'm fucking starving" she moaned

"language" you reminded her, and as usual, got in return the same scowl that told you: first just how hypocritical that was coming from you, and second, that she was never gonna listen to you, and you both knew it.

"Why?" you ignored her look "Didn't you eat?"

"Today was vegetable loaf day" she responded like that was enough of an explanation.

"So what? That sounds good"

"it may sound good, but when you get that green goo on your plate I promise you're gonna change your mind"

"goo?" you made a face

"Yes. Goo." she repeated, "They say Ms. Meril dumps all the rotten vegetables into a pot and then adds a special ingredient, that I personally believe to be..."

You had stopped listening to her a while ago as your eyes stared at the image in front of you.

You would have recognized that hair from a mile away.

He was there. Joel was there.

And not alone.

Your eyes fully focused on the man and woman in front of the pub.

You could see they were talking, and not just that.

Her hand was on his chest, as she stood so close to him they could probably taste each other's breaths.

You couldn't see his face, Joel's face, your boyfriend's face, but what you could very well see was that he wasn't pushing her away or protesting in any other way.

If you hadn't known any better you would have thought they were about to kiss.

And just then, you realized that you did, in fact, not know any better. 

You felt your heart speed up, as your feet slowed down, unconsciously coming to a stop.

That's why he had to leave in a rush?

To go fuck another woman?

As much as you felt the rage boiling inside of you like a fire, what really prevailed was the pain of the realization.

You stood there, watching them, as tears clogged your throat.

So much for I love you

So much for I was lost before you

You could physically feel your stomach twist and turn and suddenly you were nauseous.

All this time, you thought, and he's cheating on me

"Hey, you ok?" Ellie's voice was distant, muffled behind the wave of emotions coming at you.

When you didn't respond, she followed your line of sight, still firmly pointed at the pair.

"Oh fuck" she said quietly, making everything worse.

You had secretly wished she would have seen something else, given you an explanation, and laughed at how crazy you were being, but her tone told you everything you needed to know.

"I'm-I'm sorry y/n" 

Never, had you heard her stutter.

"I can't believe this- he's an asshole, I'm gonna-" she took a breath "I'm gonna beat him up, and he's gonna regret this, I swear"

As much as you wanted to laugh, you feared the moment you opened your mouth a sob would have fled it instead.

"I can't believe this" she repeated, and the truth was, you couldn't either.

You were happy. There was nothing that didn't work, you had a great relationship, you barely fought, you loved each other's presence, everything was good... or so you thought at least.

And he had thrown it all down the drain

And for what? For some slut he just met?

No, you immediately stopped yourself, No I'm not gonna be one of those women that blames the other woman.

This is all his fault. 

He's a cheating, lying bastard who doesn't deserve a minute more of my time, you decided, taking a breath.

"Let's go," you told Ellie

She frowned, confused "A-are you sure"

"let's go"

__ __ __

Ellie hadn't left your side for a second. 

You were sat side by side on the couch, your gaze fixated on the chimney in front of you, as Ellie probably rummaged through her mind to think of something to say.

You were frozen. All the anger and the pain mixing together to create a seeming numbness.

"Listen I-" 

Ellie's words immediately stopped when the front door opened.

"Hi, I'm home!" He half yelled from the entrance.

"Hello?" He spoke again once he didn't get an answer.

His heavy steps sounded against the floor as he started walking to the living room.

"Where is every-" he stopped once he saw you "There you are, why didn't you answer?"

The confusion on his face only multiplied once you took both your expressions in.

"what is it?" he asked, clueless "I'm sorry I couldn't come get you today something came up"

"Yeah, something," Ellie remarked, disappointment clear in her tone.

Joel frowned "What are you talking about?" he asked, "what's she on about?" he turned to you now.

You were about to speak when the girl beside you interrupted you.

"You know very well what I'm talking about Joel, don't play dumb"

The wrinkles on his forehead increased as his puzzlement persisted.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," she said "I can't believe you would do something like that, especially to y/n"

"what are you-"

"we saw you" Ellie anticipated his question "In town"

"I don't kno-"

The girl wouldn't let him speak, and you'd be lying if you said that didn't make you feel a tiny bit better.

"there's no point in lying anymore we saw you with our own eyes Joel"

He looked at you once again, and you adverted his gaze to look at the very angry girl at your side.

"thank you, Ellie, but I think I can take it from here"

She hesitated, looking between you two "You sure?"

"yes" you swallowed your nerves away "don't worry"

She shot Joel a look for far longer than necessary and then finally got up.

"alright" she nodded "I'm gonna go next door then, but if you need anything just yell," she said, starting down the doorway, but not before stopping at Joel's side "And you... I'm not talking to you anymore" she decided, getting out and closing the door behind her.

The silence that filled the room was louder than any sound you'd ever heard, except the one of your pounding heart of course.

You stood up, walking to the other side of the couch so you were facing him but you were still carefully distant.

"What is going on?" Joel finally spoke

You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that you needed to keep your cool because you're sure as hell not wasting any voice or tears over this asshole

"Joel I know you're cheating on me, or at least have cheated"

"What?"

"When I was getting Ellie home from school we saw you in front of the pub"

You watched as realization crammed his face.

"y/n that was not what you think"

"I'm sure it wasn't Joel" you rolled your eyes "Listen I don't care for any lame excuse or apology, I just need to know one thing... why?" you said "You at least owe me that. Everything was good wasn't it? What was it that made you feel the need to go and fuck some other woman?" for all your promises your voice was getting louder.

"I didn't- y/n I've never cheated on you"

"stop lying!" you burst "Be an adult and fucking own up to what you've done!" 

"y/n" he stepped closer to you and you took a step back.

"stop" You put a hand in front of you, signaling for him to not take another step "Answer my question"

Now he took a breath. And god if you didn't want to punch him.

You're frustrated? You're mad? How do you think I feel?

"y/n" he spoke again, his tone more even, "I swear to god sweetheart I have not cheated on you. The woman you saw me with is Jessie, She's just Tommy's friend. Nothing happened, Of course, nothing happened baby, I love you, you know that. I would never hurt you”

“Oh please, so you're telling me all of Tommy's friends get their mouths that close to yours?"

His lips gaped open, as he struggled to find the right words.

"Alright," he breathed, convincing you you were about to get a confession.

A mix of nausea and homicidal rage electrified your body.

"She is... well, she had been- flirting with me," he said "But I've never led her on, sweetheart, I would never do that, I don't have eyes for anyone but you" he sighed, and his deep brown eyes were pained "Listen," he took a step, and this time, for some unknown reason, your feet wouldn't budge, "My brother called me about an emergency and I rushed there to help"

"an emergency at the pub?"

"just-" There was anxiety and sadness creeping up his voice "Please let me finish, I swear it's not what you think baby"

"fine" you nodded

"I helped him out and he invited me for a drink over at the pub and I accepted. We talked for a while and then when I was about to go, Jessie showed up, and she was trying to get me to go to her house, to which I said no and headed out, but she kept following me until we were outside, and that's when she cornered me and I decided it was time to stop being nice and tell her I don't want anything to do with her"

Silence fell again.

"I can call Tommy if you want, he saw all of this"

"Like he wouldn't lie for you" you commented

"You're right, but you also know how strict he is about these things"

that's true, you had to admit.

"Please sweetheart" he begged, his hand trying to grasp at yours "Y/n I love you, I love you more than anything, I'd give my life for you, I'd do anything for you" he promised "I know it's hard to believe me but I swear to anything and anyone you want that I'm telling the truth. we can even ask Jessie if you want, just please- I need you to believe me" If he sounded desperate it's because he was.

"If that's true why didn't you push her away?"

"I-" he stuttered "I didn't because I didn't want to cause a scene, I just wanted to talk like a civilized person, like you always say I should do more"

You bit your lip, trying to make some sense of the mess in your brain.

"Joel" you huffed "Are you being honest? Because I'm giving you a chance to come clean now and if I were you I'd take it"

"I am" he answered within a second "I am sweetheart, I'd never cheat on you, you're the love of my life for god's sake," he said, his hand finally grasping yours.

You looked up at him, and a dark pang of surprise came over you as you noticed the glinting glaze on his eyes matching yours.

"please" he murmured "I can't lose you y/n, not over something like this. I understand how you could have misread things, I do, but I promise that's not what happened." he breathed "I'm yours y/n, I only want to be yours" 

Your eyes fell to where your fingers intertwined, all the memories rushing back like a raging river.

"You promise?"

"I promise," he said, and you believed him. because this was Joel Miller we were talking about, the man that you had fallen for since he first saved you, and kept falling for each time he saved you again. He was a good man, no, not the traditional definition of that term, but to you, he was a good man, the best man.

"alright" you decided "Seems like I'm gonna have to have a talk with Jessie"

"And I with Ellie" A small grin tugged at his lips

"Oh she's pissed alright" you chuckled "I don't know if I'd do that if I were you"

#joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller #joel miller angst #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller smut #jelous joel miller #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #joel the last of us #fluff

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

I have covid (for the first time ever wtf) and I’m feeling sick and pathetic. Just thinkin’ bout how I have to take care of myself and I hate it. How do you think sugar daddy Joel would take care of our sugar baby reader without spending any money if she got Covid or the flu??

I need some fluff to get me thru. PS I love u and your writing so flipping much.

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: mentions of illness, reader can eat chicken noodle soup, reader has hair that can be brushed away from her face

Timeline: this does not fit into the current TCOY story line and is just a separate drabble in the same universe!

[a/n: first of all, OH NO. I know how bad COVID sucks. (fun fact I've had it on five separate occasions, I basically collect a new round of it every time a new strain runs through our hospital). Please please please make sure you stay hydrated above all else! Obviously I don't know your medical history, but the best general advice is to not get dehydrated. Your body needs fluids to fight the good battle. second, I love YOU and I know this isn't much and it's not that great b/c I threw it together in fifteen minutes but I hope it makes you feel a little better, my love💜]

TCOY DRABBLE:

HOMEMADE IS BETTER THAN STORE BOUGHT

"happiness is homemade."

“Baby girl, I need you to sit up for me.” Joel hummed.

You were buried in the thick comforter of his bed feeling absolutely miserable. The cold had come on suddenly. A small cough, more irritating than anything else, spiraled into full body aches, a splitting migraine, and congestion so bad that it felt like your head was filled with concrete. Joel’s heavy hand brushed aside the hair matted to your forehead with dried sweat. Your fever was lingering last Joel checked, but the Nyquil he forced you to take with a bottle of water earlier was helping some.

Joel murmured your name once more and you just moaned in response. You felt the bed dip with his weight and his hand dragged up and down your back. The motion brought with it a comfort on par with medication itself. 

“You think you can eat somethin', sugar?” Joel asked.

“Maybe later.” You mumbled. “Sleepy.”

“That’s probably the Nyquil.” Joel replied. “I sent Riley to pick up some stuff from the store.”

You felt Joel lean over and his lips brushed against your temple. You shook your head, “You’re gonna get sick. I should quarantine alone.” You buried yourself deeper into his bed. With your nose stuffed like it was, you couldn’t smell his sheets and that bothered you more than it probably should’ve. “Don’t you have that meeting today too?”

“If you think I’m leavin' you like this, sugar, then that fever’s got you delusional.” Joel snorted. You felt the covers you had bundled yourself in begin to untangle and a whine that could only be described as pathetic slipped your lips. Before you knew it though, Joel was under the thick comforter with you and you felt yourself get pulled into his warm chest. “C’mon, baby girl. Sleep it off.”

You snuggled closer into his grip and focused on the random patterns he was rubbing on your shoulder with his hand. As a human, this was obviously not the first time you had gotten sick, but something about this time felt different. With Joel’s thick arms wrapped around you it dawned on you that it was him. The last time you were sick you were forced to take care of yourself and work through it. Having your sugar daddy around made you needy as all hell it seemed, but the comfort Joel immediately showed you had you melting against his chest.

“When I wake up, can I have soup?” You blurted the words out, half asleep.

Before sleep took you completely, you heard Joel’s deep chuckle, felt it rumble against you, “Sugar, you can have anythin' you want.”

When you woke up, you did feel marginally better. Joel was no longer in bed with you and you slowly sat up to rub at your face. You craved a hot shower to wash off the sweat and open your sinuses a bit more. A groan left your lips, still feeling crummy, and you began to climb out of bed.

“Whoa, whoa, pump the brakes.” Joel called out. He came into the room holding a tray and you chuckled at the sight of him. He set the tray down on the nightstand to usher you back into bed. “Where do you think you’re goin'?”

You gave him a tired smile, “Shower. I feel icky.”

“Icky?” Joel asked and you nodded. He chuckled and leaned forward to press his lips on your forehead again. He sat back and rubbed a hand against your leg. “Think you can stomach somethin' first?” You nodded again and Joel grabbed the tray. It looked like a bowl of chicken noodle soup, but not the kind that came out of a can of Campbell’s. “Here we go.”

You tilted your head, “Where’d you buy the soup?”

“Didn’t.” Joel grinned. “Made it.”

“You made it??”

“Uh huh.” It was honestly adorable how proud he looked of it. “Homemade is better than store bought, right? Gets you better quicker.”

You laughed, “I’m not so sure about the science behind that.”

“No, no. When I googled the recipe it definitely said this would get you better faster.” Joel teased.

You picked up the spoon and carefully blew the heat away before bringing it to your lips. The first thing you tasted was salt. A lot of salt. Too much salt. You coughed in response and tried not to twist your face to reveal the reaction. You cleared your throat and smiled, “Yum.”

Joel furrowed his brow, “What’s wrong? No good?”

“No. It’s⏤ It’s good.” You said quickly. “It’s… I like the, uh, the…” 

Joel grabbed the spoon from your fingers to take a sip himself and he immediately spluttered with a cough and groan, “What the fuck is that?” Your lips twitched up into another smile. “That tastes awful. Jesus Christ. Gimme that.”

He took the tray from you and set it on the nightstand again away from you. You set a hand on the side of your face while watching his face crumple into a grumpy look of annoyance. You shook your head, “What did it taste like as you were making it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know. While you were making it did it taste okay?” You clarified. Joel narrowed his eyes at you in thought and you tilted your head. “…Did you taste it while making it?”

“You’re supposed to eat it while you make it??”

You laughed, “Not eat. Just taste.”

“Shit.” Joel scoffed. “I ate some of the chicken and it was good.” You reached out and cupped his face. He looked annoyed with himself, but at your touch the grumpy demeanor morphed into a soft look of concern and disappointment. Joel sighed and turned his head to press a kiss to your palm before leaning into your touch again. “I’m so sorry, sugar. Just wanted to do somethin' nice for you myself rather than just buy…”

You shook your head, “This was nice. I loved it.”

“There is no way you loved that soup. It was just salt, damn it.”

“No, but I love that you tried.” You replied. “It’s the effort that counts.”

“That’s just what people say when they fuck up.” He grumbled.

You leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose, “You said the homemade version would make me feel better, and this has definitely made me feel better, daddy.”

Joel wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and stared softly for a moment before his smile returned. “You missed my lips, sugar.”

“I already told you. I’m icky.”

“Don’t care. Still want you.”

“You are already pushing your luck.” You scoffed in amusement. “You are gonna end up sick.”

Joel pulled you closer, and even at full strength you’d never be capable of refusing this man. He paused with his lips just barely touching yours. “I’ll risk it.” Joel’s lips sealed against yours tenderly. A soft kiss of comfort rather than of passion. A wordless act of reassurance that he was there. Joel’s tongue just barely brushed against yours before he leaned back and left you wanting more. He hummed, “You taste like salt.”

“Yeah, gee, I wonder whose fault that is.”

#joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #sugar daddy!joel miller x reader #sugar daddy!joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #take care of you

[electricprincess96]

Ep 3 of The Last Of Us was at least more interesting than last weeks episode. Ironic that the most fun I've had with the show so far is when I catch a glimpse of just how Joel was living his life the last 20 or so years. That being said they made one vital error that made me not be able to emotionally care about the characters spotlighted in this episode. They made Frank really unlikeable at the beginning and they rushed his romantic and sexual relationship with Bill. Like I get that in the apocalypse when you haven't seen another human being for a long time emotions can be heightened and the need for human contact can be so great that you aren't exactly going to be taking people out on 2 or 3 dates before you fuck them but come on ONE day? Not even a full day? For someone so paranoid like Bill I just couldn't buy that, at least give them a week or two. Also I didn't like how Bill seemed just so scared when they were about to sleep together for the first time (after knowing each other a couple hours maybe) like why the fuck was the actor told to play him that way?! It made me uncomfortable and made Frank seem like a predator and I didn't like it. Also Bill was right, Frank should not be using up his fuel just to mow the lawn and shouldn't have been inviting Joel and Tess to them without Bill's permission, just because it ended up working out doesn't change the fact it was a huge risk in the middle of the fucking apocalypse.

Overall though with some minor tweaks I'd have probably liked this episode more than Ep1 but because of the botched beginning to that relationship I ended up only caring about how Joel reacted to what happened to them because so far the only character I've managed to create any meaningful connection with is Joel. I feel like a better way to give us Frank and Bill's story would have been for Joel and Ellie to actually meet them in person first, let us get to know them through the characters we are meant to care about and THEN show us their story (and eventual joint suicide which I'm just gonna say it coupled committing suicide because one thing bad happens to one of them wasn't romantic when it was Romeo and Juliet and it isn't romantic now. Also bad case of bury your gays when one of those characters is apparently alive in the game so.....)

All that being said this episode was pure padding in a series that really didn't need it. The Last Of Us game is long. The cutscenes alone are almost 4 hours, that's almost 2 movie lengths, the season is only 9 episodes and they've already speedrun to getting Joel and Ellie meeting in Episode 1. Like I now know the creator who's helping on this show was the one with more or less full creative control of TLOU2 so he must really want to get to his story by Season 2 but considering I know most fans while they might like Part 2 most will agree its not as good as Part 1 (which is why Naughty Dog continue to milk Part 1 for all its worth) I figured they'd try to pass Part 1 out to at least 2 seasons on which case padding episodes like this would have been expected and necessary but they aren't. They clearly intend to finish this season with the end of the first game. They're apparently casting for Abby right now so next season is going to be Part 2 (poor Pedro Pascal they can't let his handsome face catch a break its either getting smashed in or hidden by a helmet these days).

Also why are they now telling us how many miles they are outside if x y or z place when in Episode 1 Joel and Tess just sort of teleport from inside the Quarantine Zone to wherever Ellie is without even showing us A. How they got there and B. Where Ellie even was in relation to where they started. Either locations and distances matter or they don't cause genuinely I laughed when Joel just appeared where Ellie was cause I was so confused I didn't know if they were in the same place this whole time or if someone had moved and we just weren't shown how it was all so bad it was comical.

Also what the fuck was Ellie doing to that Infected in the basement? Genuinely question like she's acting like one of the kids who'd burn ants it's quiet unsettling.

And lastly for the dudebros who'll tell me im a toxic gamer purist, I haven't played The Last Of Us. I understand changes have to be made. I'm not against Ep3 existing as I said I was at least less bored in this episode cause I decided I did actually kinda like Bill and thus what happened to him mattered to me. BUT I find it odd that such a short series based on quite long source material (I'm aware plenty of the gameplay material can't translate to television very well) needed padding but as padding goes this wasn't terrible.

#the last of us hbo blogging

[blackcatrph]

** sour  sentence  starters.

brutal.

“  i think that i’ll die before i drink.  ”

“  i'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you.  ”

“  i'm so tired that I might quit my job, start a new life.  ”

“  they'd all be so disappointed  because who am I if not exploited?  ”

“  where's my fuckin' teenage dream?  ”

“  if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth," I'm gonna cry.  ”

“  i'm anxious and nothing can help.  ”

“  i wish I'd done this before.  ”

“  i wish people liked me more.  ”

“  all I did was try my best.  ”

“  this the kind of thanks I get?  ”

“  they say these are the golden years.  ”

“  i wish I could disappear.  ”

“  god, it's brutal out here.  ”

“  i feel like no one wants me.  ”

“  i only have two real friends.  ”

“  lately I'm a nervous wreck.  ”

“  i love people I don't like.  ”

“  i hate every song I write.  ”

“  i'm not cool, and I'm not smart.  ”

“  i can't even parallel park.  ”

“  got a broken ego, broken heart.  ”

“  i don't even know where to start.  ”

traitor.

“  brown guilty eyes and little white lies.  ”

“  i played dumb but I always knew.  ”

“  i kept quiet so I could keep you.  ”

“  ain't it funny how you ran to her the second that we called it quits?  ”

“  ain't it funny how you said you were friends?  ”

“  it sure as hell don't look like it.  ”

“  you betrayed me.  ”

“  i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt.  ”

“  loved you at your worst but that didn't matter.  ”

“  guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.  ”

“  there's no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly.  ”

“  ain't it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid?  ”

“  remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid?  ”

“  i wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.  ”

“  you gave me your word but that didn't matter.  ”

drivers  license. 

“  i got my driver's license last week.  ”

“  just like we always talked about.  ”

“  today I drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around.  ”

“  you're probably with that blonde girl.  ”

“  she's so much older than me.  ” 

“  she's everything I'm insecure about.  ”

“  how could I ever love someone else?   “

“  i know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one.  ”

“  i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.  ”

“  guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.  ”

“  all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you.  ”

“  I kinda feel sorry for them because they'll never know you the way that I do.  ”

“  i still see your face in the white cars, front yards.  ”

“  can't drive past the places we used to go to because I still fuckin' love you.  ”

1  step  forward,  3  steps  back.

“  i called you on the phone today.  ”

“  all I did was speak normally.  ”

“  you got me fucked up in the head.  ”

“  like am I pretty? am I fun?  ”

“  i hate that I gave you power over that kind of stuff.  ”

“  it's always one step forward and three steps back.  ”

“  i'm the love of your life until I make you mad.  ”

“  do you love me, want me, hate me? i don't understand.  ”

“  maybe in some masochistic way I kind of find it all exciting.  ”

“  which lover will I get today?  ”

“  will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?  ”

“  it's back and forth, did I say somethin' wrong?  ”

“  it's back and forth, goin' over everything I said.  ”

“  i'd leave you, but the roller coaster's all I've ever had.  ”

deja vu.

“  strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two?  ”

“  i bet she's braggin' to all her friends, sayin' you're so unique.  ”

“  so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too?  ”

“  that was our place, I found it first.  ”

“  i made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you.  ”

“  do you get déjà vu when she's with you?  ”

“  do you call her, almost say my name?  ”

“  i hate to think that I was just your type.  ”

“  don't act like we didn't do that shit too.  ”

“  play her piano, but she doesn't know that I was the one who taught you Billy Joel.  ”

good  4  u.

“  well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.  ”

“  you found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.  ”

“  remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?  ”

“  good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself.  ” 

“  i guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped.  ”

“  now you can be a better man for your brand new girl.  ”

“  well, good for you, you look happy and healthy.  ”

“  not me, if you ever cared to ask.  ”

“  good for you, you're doin' great out there without me.  ”

“  i've lost my mind.  ”

“  i've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom.  ”

“  it's like we never even happened.  ”

“  what the fuck is up with that?  ”

“  good for you, it's like you never even met me.  ”

“  remember when you swore to god i was the only person who ever got you?  ”

“  well, screw that and screw you.  ”

“  you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional.  ”

“  your apathy's like a wound in salt.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional  or maybe you never cared at all.  ”

“  like a damn sociopath.  ”

enough  for  you.

“  i wore makeup when we dated because I thought you'd like me more.  ”

“  i know that you loved before.  ”

“  tried so hard to be everything that you like.  ”

“  i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that I was smart.  ”

“  stupid, emotional, obsessive little me.  ”

“  i knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave.  ”

“  you found someonе more exciting.  ”

“  you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong.  ”

“  you always say I'm never satisfied but I don't think that's true.  ”

“  all I ever wanted was to be enough for you.  ”

“  maybe I'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before.  ”

“  you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more.  ”

“  i'd say you broke my heart but you broke much more than that.  ”

“  i don’t want your sympathy, i just want myself back.  ”

“  don’t you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded?  ”

“  don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?  ”

“  don’t tell me you’re sorry, feel sorry for yourself.  ”

“  someday i’ll be everything to somebody else.  ”

“  you’ll be the one crying.  ”

happier.

“  we broke up a month ago. ”

“  your friends are mine you know.  ”

“  you’ve moved on, found someone new.  ”

“  i thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past.  ”

“  she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty.  ”

“  does she mean you forgot about me ?  ”

“  i hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me.  ”

“  i’m selfish i know. i can’t let you go.  ”

“  find someone great, but don’t find no one better.  ”

“  i hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier.  ”

 “  do you tell her she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?  ”

“  an eternal love bullshit you know you’ll never mean.  ”

“  remember when i believe you meant it when you said it first to me?  ”

“  now i’m picking her apart like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart.  ”

“  she’s beautiful, she looks kind.  ”

“  she probably gives you butterflies.  ”

“  i wish you all the best, really.  ”

“  say you love her, just not like you loved me.  ”

“  think of me fondly when your hands are on her.  ”

jealousy  jealousy.

“  i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room.  ”

“  all i see are girls too good to be true.  ”

“  i know their beauty’s not my lack but it feels like that weight is on my back.  ”

“  comparison is killing me slowly.  ”

“  i think i think too much.  ”

“  i’m so sick of myself, i’d rather be anyone else.  ”

“  my jealousy started following me.  ”

“  i see everyone getting all the things i want.  ”

“  i’m happy for them, but then again, i’m not.  ”

“  i can’t stand it.  ” 

“  oh god i sound crazy.  ”

“  their win is not my loss, i know it’s true.  ”

“  i can’t help getting caught up in it all.  ”

“  all your friends are so cool.  ”

“  you go out every night.  ”

“  you’re living the life.  ”

“  i want to be you so bad, and i don’t even know you.  ”

“  all i see is what i should be.  ”

favourite  crime.

“  know that i love you so bad.  ”

“  i let you treat me like that.  ”

“  i was your willing accomplice.  ”

“  i watched as you fled the scene.  ”

“  doe-eyed as you buried me.  ”

“  the things i did just so i could call you mine.  ”

“  the things you did. well, i hope i was your favourite crime.  ”

“  you used me as an alibi.  ”

“  i crossed my heart and you crossed the line.  ”

“  i defended you to all my friends.  ”

“  every time i siren sounds, i wonder if you’re around.  ”

“  you know that i’d do it all again.  ”

“  it’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we’d do.  ”

“  i was going down but i was doing it with you.  ”

“  i say that i hate you with a smile on my face.  ”

“  look what we became.  ” 

hope  ur  ok.

“  his parents cared more about the bible than being good to their own child.  ”

“  wore long sleeves because of his dad.  ”

“  somehow we fell out of touch.  ”

“  hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush.  ”

“  don’t know if i’ll see you again someday.  ”

“  i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  her parents hated who she loved.  ”

“  she was brought into a world where family was merely blood.  ” 

“  with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred.  ”

“  we don’t talk much.  ”

“  i miss you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  address the letter to the holes in my butterfly wings.  ”

“  nothing’s forever, nothing is as good as it seems.  ”

“  when the clouds are ironed our and the monsters creep into your house, every door is hard to close.  ”

“  i hope you know how proud i am.  ”

“  i hope that you’re happier today.  ”

“  i love you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”  

#rp meme #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #ask meme #rp ask prompts #lyrical meme #lyric rp meme #this took approx 900 years to make

[lieblingbitte]

karaoke w the bloomic LI's (+ onion + 2two)

pairing: bloomic boys headcanons, theres no reader character in this but U can Like... Imagine ur there prompt: hcs about doing karaoke with the boys! :D tags: headcanons, foul language, alcohol mention(s), no pronouns or gender-specific language, fluff!!!, not proofread bc this was very stream of consciousness in my notes app

enjoy!!!! :DDD

XYX song: Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

only sings funnyman songs

eg: all star, country roads, the pokemon intro...

does NOT take it seriously AT ALL

the first song he sings is a rickroll (obviously)

but annoyingly is not a bad singer

(because he's good at everything apparently...)

(he goofs around but his voice really suits those like frank sinatra, johnny cash esque songs...)

enjoys himself A Lot he likes listening and making fun of everyone's song choices

has the most fun singing together w everyone! (you did wannabe by the spice girls one time and he swears those were the best three minutes of his life)

NAKED TOASTER

song: Dancing Queen - Abba

VERY shy about it

doesn't wanna sing at all at first but xyx forces encourages him to (and he has a bit to drink)

when he does end up singing he picks very classic karaoke songs so everyone can sing along!!!

(their face is FLUSHED afterwards but they did have fun)

not a bad singer per se but they struggle w melody and tone and stuff

(+ he doesn't sing seriously because he Is Embarrassed)

also the type to forget the lyrics (even if they're on the screen right in front of them)

prefers listening to the others sing and provide backup vocals/instrumental

the guy with the maracas/tambourine

NIGHTOWL

song: Gotta Go My Own Way - High School Musical

the Musical Theatre guy... Or like really trashy 2000s pop

sings duets by himself.......

the one that suggested you all do this LOL

hes suuuuper high energy.. hes having so much fun

his neighbours ring his doorbell like Seven times and ask him to Shut Up

(he does not)

bad singer and he owns it

(his charisma makes up for it)

puts on a whole performance, jumping around, using a hairbrush for a microphone and shit

QUEST

song: Take On Me - A-ha

this guy.. he sings old songs.... like queen maybe billy joel stuff like that

probably the best singer out of all of them .. but he doesn't take the compliment

loooves karaoke.. loves suggesting songs you all do loves listening.. Hes just a karaoke guy

he needs a couple of drinks to get out of his shell fully but then hes unstoppable

hypes everyone up SO much full on cheering and shit

likes singing romantic duets... ;-)

in general, he does like Ten Minute Long ballads but no one minds because hes a good singer... and hot guy privilege

ONIONTHIEF

song: Mr Brightside - The Killers

does NOT want to sing

but nightowl picked a song and now he HAS to.. tch

(embarrassed but he is a good singer... and hes probably cocky abt it...)

"Ugh, can I go now." when the song is done (doesn't go.) (doesn't want to go)

probably judging everyone's song choices ("Pff, nightowl. Britney Spears? Really?")

he literally listens to Like mcr and shit in secret But OK!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

("Their lyrics are poetic." OK emo boy.)

does end up having a little fun Maybe but hes being all tsundere abt it -__-

TWO2

song: I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry

the music guy

not a singer but his mum probably made him go to choir or something so he can hold a tune

another hype man! loves singing with his friends! and loves telling them that!

picks songs from every category probably, like he will sing the beatles and avril lavigne right after

has fun no matter what... likes singing by himself, listening to the other, singing together.. he is just a little guy

knows Literally every song ever... I feel like he has super broad tastes

notes: had thoughts. me and friends did a little discord karaoke thing recently and i was like yeah this is cool but what if Blooming Panic LOve Interets. loads of thoughts abt the li's tastes in music btw send me an ask and i will talk about it more ;-)

#bloomic #blooming panic #nightowl #two2 #quest #xyx #nakedtoaster #onionthief #x reader #x you #x y/n #reader insert #headcanons #hcs #karaoke #toasty #onion

[tloujm]

Part XVI: Camping

Author’s Notes: Just a romantic trip out in the woods. Thanks for reading! I hope you guys like it. I’ve been really busy lately and I’ve had this chapter half written for like a month. I wanted to get it right and I feel like this is pretty good, so again, I hope y’all like it. Hopefully I can start writing on a more consistent schedule again soon. And last but not least MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Genre: Peak Fluffiness IMO

Summary: You and Joel go on the aforementioned camping trip from the last chapter. You guys fish and hike and all that nature ooey gooey fluffy mess.

Ship: Joel x Reader

“You ready for this?” Joel looked back at you as he packed the backseat of a station wagon. Being a prominent figure in town, he was able to pull some strings and borrow the keys to a newly fixed up car.

“As I’ll ever be.” You gave him your bag.

The two of you drove down one of the patrol routes for about 45 minutes before Joel turned down an unpaved pathway. Feeling your weariness, he gently took your hand in his. You turned to him for a second before laying your head back on the rest and closing your eyes. The slow tunes flowed from the stereos and filled the car. Before the trip, you went down to the library and checked out a handful of cassette tapes to get you through the car ride. Just as you finally let yourself relax to the hum of the engine and Joel’s voice, the car shut off.

“Think here’s a good place to stop and set up camp.” He said, turning to you. You took in your surroundings, noticing that he had parked in a small clearing circled by tall pine trees. It was a serene view and for that, you offered a small smile.

“I think you’re right.”

The two of you unpacked the trunk. There wasn’t much: just a tent, sleeping bags, your backpacks, fishing poles and a cooler. As Joel carried out the last of the items, you decided to take initiative and start putting up the tent. You convinced yourself that it couldn’t possibly be as difficult as it looked; It was just fabric and poles. You could hear Joel snickering from behind as you struggled to hold everything together. Expletives left your mouth before he decided to step in and help. He took one of the poles out of your hand, turned it around and snapped it into place with ease. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed another set of poles and followed suit. You finished up the tent while he set up some simple booby traps around the perimeter of the clearing.

After getting settled, the two of you hiked hand in hand to a wide river. He sat the cooler down next to a boulder and took one of the rods that you were holding. Patting the boulder, he beckoned you to sit next to him. Shoulders touching, you watched as he pulled a can of worms from the cooler and baited it onto the hook.

“Now, mine is all set, so I’m gonna show you how to set up yours so we can fish together.” Joel said. “Grab your hook. You wanna tie it to the line. A simple little knot will do.” You tried to mimic his actions. “Well no, like this, darlin’. Thread the line through the hook, then bring it back, wrapping it around itself a few times. Feed the end back through the loop and pull tight.” He let out a little grunt that you found adorable. He handed the rod back over and reached for the can of worms.

“Do I have to use worms?”

“You’re not squeamish are you?” Joel smirked. He knew you weren’t, but teased anyway.

“I just feel bad for impaling a live worm.”

He shook his head. “Well then you’re not gonna like what we’re about to do with the fish.” You shot a look at him. “You do want to eat tonight, don’t you?” He continued to tease.

“Just pass me the can.” You stuck your fingers in the slimy conglomeration and pulled out a long one.

“That’s a good one. Now, bait it like how I did. Hook it through as many times as you can to secure it. If not, it can fall off into the water or a fish can grab it before getting hooked.” Joel peared over your shoulder to make sure you did it right. “Great! Now let’s get on to the fun part.” Leaving his rod on the ground, he walked you over to the edge of the river and stood behind you. He adjusted the line before ghosting his hand over yours. “You want to draw your arm back,” He pulled your arm up, guiding the rod as well. “And snap it forward.” In one sweeping motion, he pushed your arm back down and the line shot out from the rod and into the body of water. A large smile was plastered on your face.

“Now we wait?”

“Now we wait.” He confirmed.

Joel grabbed his own rod and repeated the motions. You remembered him saying that he was rusty, but in your eyes he looked like a pro. The two of you traded glances before hunkering down in your respective spots. You didn’t realize how much patience was needed to fish and after all that waiting, all you were going to get was one fish. Your mind began to think back to a documentary you saw long ago about commercial fishing and it made you wish for a large net to replace the rod. You glanced back at Joel only to find him in a completely relaxed state with his rod positioned between his knees and his arms crossed behind his head while leaning against a large rock. Your gaze lingered on his form until you felt a jerk from your rod. A yelp left your mouth. The line began to pull out of the rod at an accelerated speed. Anxious, you stood back up. Joel abandoned his rod and ran over to you. From behind, he guided your hand to spin the reel. He slowly lifted your rod as you continued to reel the line back in. Suddenly, a fish broke the surface of the river. You didn’t stop spinning the reel until it was eye level with you.

“Okay, hold it steady. I’ll unhook the fish.” Joel instructed. The fish was wiggling around violently. “Damn, I shoulda brought a net.” With two hands, he grabbed it. “Gah dammit!”

“Are you ok?” You exclaimed.

“Yeah, just a lil’ scratch.” Joel was referring to the gash on his forearm caused by the fish spines.

Carefully, you sat the rod down and he talked you through unhooking the fish. After it came out, you put the fish on some ice in the cooler. When you looked back at Joel, he was shirtless. He used his button down to put pressure on the wound. You told him to sit and wait while you went back to the car for the first aid kit, but insisted that he was fine and wanted to continue fishing. You could tell he was serious, so you agreed to stay so long as he let you look at it after another fish was caught. You picked up your rod and did exactly as he showed you. You were able to cast it longer than before. You hoped that meant you could catch something quicker this time.

“Son of a bitch!” Joel exclaimed. You turned to see his hand covering his neck.

“What happened? Let me see.” You ran to him and moved his hand out the way to reveal a hook caught in his skin. It was only a flesh wound and it didn’t dig deep enough to hit a main artery but it was still stuck in there. “How did this happen?”

“I whipped my arm back too far causing the line to cast out in the wrong direction. When I snapped forward, the hook flew right into my neck.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Only when I touch it.”

“I gotta get it out for you.” You took out your pocket knife and cut the wire off the hook. Joel winced as you tried to finagle it out carefully. “There!” You held it out in front of him. You noticed the tiny wound turn red as it began to slowly bleed. “Can we just go back to camp now? That fish is big enough for the both of us and I packed some snacks for us.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Joel said. He held a small cloth to his neck with his one hand and carried the cooler in the other.

Back at camp, you patched up Joel’s arm and neck. He let out a deep sigh “What’s wrong?” You asked.

He sat there in silence before responding. “I just feel like an idiot. Who gets a hook caught in their neck?”

“It was an accident.”

“Look at me, darlin’. Tommy’s gonna see me when I get back and think we ran into a horde or somethin’. I won’t hear the end of it when I tell him it was all from some fishin’. Between the fish cuttin’ me up and not catching anything, I’m just...just a little annoyed. I had a...uh...vision of how I wanted this trip to go and I feel like it’s not working out.”

“Joel, we just got here! We still have tomorrow to enjoy it. Besides, today’s not over. You said you were gonna show me how to fish and you did exactly that. I saw you relaxing while we were waiting for a bite. We were one with nature. Tell me that was not a part of your vision.”

He shrugged. “S’pose you’re right.”

“Ok, so how about you find yourself a non-bloody shirt to wear and I’ll start a fire. Deal?”

He chuckled. “Deal.”

The two of you sat by the campfire and ate the fish you caught. The sun had just finished setting by the time you were done. After several minutes of enjoying each other’s company in silence, Joel suggested playing a song. A soft grunt left his mouth as he got up and made his way to the car. From the trunk, he got his trusty 6 string and began to play a tune as he walked back to you. He sang a little bit here and there, but mostly he kept playing the same complex chord over and over again.

“Hey there.” He spoke up after nudging you. “You wouldn’t happen to be fallin’ asleep on me now would you.”

“Asleep? Of course not.” You began in a drowsy tone. “Just resting my eyes is all.”

He put his guitar down. “Probably about time we both rest our eyes.”

*****

“Hey, darlin’, it’s time to get up.” You woke up to Joel’s voice. It was still dark.

“Why? It’s not even morning yet.” You said in a whisper.

“Actually, it is. C’mon, (Y/N), I gotta show you somethin’.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong. Just gotta show you somethin’ is all.”

“Now, Joel?”

“Preferably yes.”

After your eyes adjusted to your surroundings, you noticed that Joel was already dressed and ready. You hurried up and did the same. As soon as you exited the tent, he held out his hand for you to take. He gave it a gentle squeeze before guiding you down a wooded path.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“It’s a surprise.” Joel responded.

“You know, this isn’t the first time you’ve blindly led me through the woods under the guise of a surprise.”

“I know and if I recall correctly, it went well so if it ain’t broke....”

“Okay, well why did we have to get up this early?”

“Because it’s part of the surprise.” The two of you hiked up the side of a small mountain as the dark sky began to lighten. “We’re running late.” He gently tugged on your hand as the two of you broke into a jog. You almost ran into him when he abruptly stopped at the edge of the peak. “There.” He pointed to the east and your gaze followed.

From where you were, only a small section of the sky was illuminated with an orange glow. All of the trees below you were still shrouded in nightime’s darkness. Watching the sun rise was a slow progression that made you realize how much of a sweaty mess you were. It wasn’t until 15 minutes in did you decide to sit, swinging your legs over the ledge. After another 15 minutes, you finally saw the sun itself peek over your line of view, allowing the rest of the sky to turn blue. The view of the forest below took your breath away. You were so enamoured that you didn’t initially realize that Joel was not by your side anymore. Still sitting, you turned around to find him. Assuming that he was still standing, you looked up. It caught you off guard when you saw that he was eye level with you, bent on one knee. A nervous smile began to grow on his face as he held out a ring between his fingers.

Joel knew that this was how he wanted to propose, with the backdrop of the sun rising, but he never prepared exactly what to say. Everytime he tried, the words never seemed good enough and saying them out loud wracked his nerves. He figured that the words would come in the moment. The problem was that he also did not prepare for the view that was currently before him because if he was stuck before, seeing the golden rays of light radiate around you rendered him speechless. Your messy hair framed your face so perfectly and the way you looked at him in that moment was filled with pure innocence and love.

“Daggum, woman, you know how to make a man weak.” Joel said, almost in a whisper.

“That’s the goal.” You said with an ever growing smile.

“I don’t know how else to say this, so I just will. (Y/F/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife and my hope is that you want the same. I can’t guarantee you a perfect life or some fairytale, but I’ll try damn hard to give you happily ever after or some semblance of it in this world. Listen darlin’, I’ve struggled for a long time with survivin’; I’ve almost given up so many times before. Do...do you remember a while back when you told me about how you got bitten?” You nodded. “You were questioning why you didn’t die and I told you that, no matter what, you had to keep finding something to fight for. I knew you weren’t tryna hear that at the time, but those words were true because of you. You were, are and will always be my something to fight for until my last breath. You’re it for me, darlin’ and there’s no one else I want by my side more. Will you marry me?”. His eyebrows were raised in anticipation. You stood there speechless; you didn’t know what to say first. You were flooded with so many different feelings. Most of all, you were surprised by the proposal. You didn’t expect Joel to formally do so at all. The emotions fighting to break surface caused you to simultaneously laugh and cry out of nowhere.

“I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you. Joel, yes, I’ll marry you!” You wiped your tears on your sleeve before getting up. Joel did the same to close the space between you.

He ran a thumb across your wet cheek as he smiled down at you. “You had me scared for a second there.” Once, your face was dry, he focused back on the ring in his other hand.

“How could I ever say no to you?” You asked lovingly.

“You’ve been known to do it from time to time.” He said in a deep yet jovial tone. Gently, he steadied your finger and slid the ring onto it. “How does it feel?”

“It fits perfectly.” You smiled up at him.

“I love you.” He whispered as he leant down for a kiss. The two of you stood there near the edge of the hill in each other’s arms. At this point, the sun had just about risen for the morning. “I don’t know how you wanna go about this. I know there’s no marriage license to register, but I can find someone to officiate or if it’s just you, me and our word, I can live with that too.”

“We have the rest of our lives to figure that out, love.” You impatiently pulled him back down into another long kiss.

#TLOU #TLOU 2 #TLOU II #The Last of Us #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us II #the last of us joel #the last of us fanfic #tlou joel #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #Joel Miller #joel x reader #joel/reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #tlou joel miller #joel miller x reader #naughty dog #ellie #oneshot #fanfiction #fandom #fluff #merry christmas

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( pt 9 )

summary: You and Joel prepare for the upcoming patrol 

warnings: none 

you can read the previous parts here

“I don´t think its a good idea to split up.“ Jesse shakes his head and you look at him out of the corner of your eye, him and Dina sitting next to you. Joel and Tommy sit across from you while Marie and Ellie each took a seat at the head of the table. “But the infected has been sighted here-“ Tommy points to the card in front of him and marks the place with a red pen. “in town and here.“ He connects the dots to show how far away from each other they are, and Maria sighs. “We have to get to them somehow, we can’t risk to let them any closer towards Jackson.“ She takes the map and slides it over the table towards her, looking at the route with a deep frown. “what if we build teams to secure our lookouts, and meet up somewhere in the middle after we’re done?“ Ellie looks around for any faces of approval, and you nod. “This could work, If anything goes wrong and one of us doesn’t show up to the meeting point, we know where they went missing and can take a look.“ “but some lookouts might be more overrun than others.“ Joel sighs and takes the card from Maria, trying to find a route that is somehow a little safe for everyone. “That could also happen on normal patrols, we can try to come from all sides and meet up here-“Dina leans up from her seat and points to the supermarket Joel and You cleaned a couple weeks ago. “This way each of us can cover a lookout and has roughly the same way to the meeting point.“ “and some lookouts were freshly cleaned this week, it shouldn’t be too much trouble.“ Tommy tucks a strand of hair behind his ear and looks at Joel. “What do you say?“ “I don´t like this, but it might work.“ Joel shrugs his shoulders and you nod, looking at him. “Let´s partner up then, who knows each lookout the best?“ You say, sinking deeper into your seat and waiting for someone to speak up. “You know your way around the radio tower?“ Jesse asks Ellie, pointing to the first dot on the map. She shakes her head, no. “I know this route, I used to do go with Eugene.“ Dina speaks up and Jesse briefly looks at her before approving. “Alright, you and Ellie take over the west side, after you’re done you can check the village and go to the supermarket.“ “Are you sure you know the way?“ Joel stares at Dina and you can tell he’s worried, while Ellie lets out an annoyed huff. “I do, don´t worry Joel.“ Dina smiles and Maria claps her hands, getting everyones attention. “Alright, Joel and Tommy will cover the east side, you know your way around the hotel and lodge, right?“ Maria looks at her husband and Tommy elbows Joel who has a frown on his face. “We got this.“ “Y/N and I will go through to the city and forrest.“ Jesse and you make eye contact and you smile at him, nodding despite the nervous feeling in your stomach. “I´ll send a troop to clean the areas close around Jackson so you guys don’t have to do everything alone.“ Maria circles the lookouts on the map and slides it back towards the middle for everyone to see. “Everyone´s okay with this?“ She asks, rubbing her temples with her fingers. “Do we have another choice?“ Joel chuckles and starts pushing his chair back, you getting up as well. “Okay we will wait for the weather to clear up and leave in one or two days.“ Jesse starts putting his jacket back on and Ellie gets up with a sigh. “fucking infected.“ She mumbles while Dina walks over to her, a small smile framing her face. “Everything will be okay.“ She says goodbye to everyone and you wait for Joel to finish chatting with Tommy before walking back home. “This whole partner patrolling doesn’t sit right with me.“ Joel mumbles under his breath and you link your arm through his while you leave Tommys neighborhood. “Why?“ You cuddle into his side to block out the cold and Joel sighs, looking at his boots. “Dina and Ellie and Jesse and you together? It would have been better to pair you guys with Tommy or me. We know our way around and have more-“  “Hey.“ You interrupt him, stopping your tracks and standing in front of Joel to make him look at you. “Jesse is very responsible and wouldn’t do anything that puts us into unnecessary danger. Ellie knows her way with guns and Dina is a cautious person. We will be fine.“  You shrug your shoulders and Joel tilts his head to the side, scanning your flushed face. “I worry too much, don’t I?“ He lowers his head and you giggle, continuing your way home. “Yeah, you need to stop or you’ll get wrinkles from all the frowning.“ “I already have wrinkles.“ Joel furrows his brows and you laugh. “That´s cause you’re old.“ You tease and Joel mocks your laugh. “Ha ha, very funny. You’ll look like that one day, too.“ He nudges your side and you put on a serious face, eyes looking into his hazel ones. “Hopefully, and when I grow old its your turn to make fun of me.“ “I´d like to see that.“ Joel opens the door to your home and you slip inside, instantly shrugging your snowy jacket off and hanging it onto your wardrobe. “You want some Tea?“ You ask as you walk into the kitchen. Joel grunts and you hear his heavy boots walking upstairs, probably to change. You put some water onto the stove and prepare the tea leafs. You wait for the liquid to boil and pour it into two mugs, giving Joel the one with the owl on it. You make sure to grab the handles tight and make your way upstairs, squinting back and forth from the mugs to the stairs in front of you. “Joel?“ You shout as you gently kick the door to your bedroom open with your foot, only to find it empty. “In here, baby.“ Joels voice comes from somewhere behind you so you turn around and check the bathroom, finding it empty as well. It’s not until you hear the itching of a blade against wood that you groan at your own stupidness and go into Joels crafting room. There he sits, knife in one and a piece of wood in the other hand. “What are you working on?“ You ask as you sit down next to him, placing the mug onto the work plate. “That´s a surprise.“ He smiles at you and you take a sip of your tea, cursing when you burn your tongue. “Am I allowed to see?“ You try to peak over Joels hands but he covers most of the wood with his palm. “Don´t spoil yourself, it’s not finished yet.“ “How long have you been working on it?“ You hug Joel from behind and he drops the wood, quickly covering it with a cloth. “Started last week.“ He leans back into your chest and you rest your chin on top of his head. “I didn´t notice.“ You kiss his hairline and he runs his hands over your arms, holding your shoulders tight. “That was the plan baby.“ He chuckles and you play with the fabric of his shirt. “But now I know about it.“ You tease and Joel rotates his chair so he’s facing you. You stand in-between his legs as he holds your hips, massaging the soft flesh. “Also planned. I know how impatient you can be.“ He smirks and you gasp, slowly sitting down on his lap. “That´s torture!“ You hold onto his neck for support and Joel bounces his knee, urging you to inch closer. “It will be worth it.“ He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck and starts placing kisses along your veins. “You´re getting my exceptions up.“ You say laughing while squirming away from his wet kisses. “Are you implying that its not enough that I made it? With love?“ He gives you puppy eyes and you push him away, standing up and grabbing your mug. “That´s always enough. I´m outside at the porch if you want to join.“ You turn around and Joel hums, turning his chair as well to continue his work. “I´ll come soon.“ 

You sit outside and inhale the cold winter air, legs crossed and arms leaned on the table as you continue to embroider a jacket you found some time ago. You hum a soft tune and are very cautious not to poke your thumb with the needle. Your tea is long finished and your body is getting more and more heavy when Joel joins you. “Evening madam.“ He lifts his imaginary hat and you look up, piercing the needle into your fingertip. “Ow!“ You drop the jacket and hold onto your thumb, glaring at Joel. “You scared me!“ You rub the irritated fingertip and Joel chuckles, sitting down across from you and picking up his guitar. “Sorry babe.“ He softly smiles at you and you put your stuff together, extending your arms. “Let me play, I’ve been practicing.“ “sure your thumb can take it?“ Joel teases and you roll your eyes, hiding a smile when he hands his precious guitar over to you. “If I continue to get better, I´m gonna need my own soon.“ You brag as you rest the painted wood on your lap. “convince me.“ Joel leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, eyes fixed on you. “I will.“ You bite your lip and look down, preparing to grab your chords when you already strum a side and a crooked sound escapes. “ups.“ You laugh nervously and wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans before trying again. “but I´m not singing.“ You briefly look at Joel and start playing the song he played you at your first evening together. “Not bad.“ Joel smiles proudly and you start bouncing your feet to the music, concentrating on pulling the right strings. “I´m still wobbly with this part, my fingers can´t spread that far.“ You frown and stop playing, but Joel stands up and simply stands behind you, grabbing your hands and placing his fingers over yours. “Let me help you.“ His hot breath tickles your ear and you watch as he presses your fingers back onto the neck of the guitar, changing the position for your index and ring finger. “Now try.“ He whispers and you strum the sides, beaming when it sounds right. “See, you can do it.“ He kisses your temple and you drop the guitar next to your chair, leaning to the right and quickly pulling Joel down to kiss you. “Thanks love.“ You mumble against his lips while he pushes his tongue past yours. His beard scratches against your cold face and you grab his cheeks, feeling the stubble itch in your palm. “Wanna go to bed?“ He pulls away and you nod, out of breath and with flushed cheeks. “I feel like an ice cube.“ You shiver as you get up and Joel laughs while grabbing his guitar, opening the door for you and stepping inside after you. “You know, once patrol is done, I have a little surprise for you.“ He cheekily kisses your neck and you squirm to the side, almost tripping on the steps. “Another one?“ You ask gasping. “I promised you a proper date, didn’t I?“ Joel pinches your sides and you grab his hands, pulling him up with you. “I thought you forgot.“ You happily look over your shoulder and Joel chuckles. “I didn´t. Just took me a while to find everything I need for it.“ He shrugs his shoulders and slips past you as he makes a line to the bathroom, you going into your bedroom to change. You lay in bed and wait for him, eyes wide open and staring at the small lamp in the corner. “Can I guess?“ You ask as soon as Joel returns and lays down next to you. He smells like soap and toothpaste and you instantly snuggle closer, head laying on his chest while your arm wraps around his torso. “No. I won´t budge.“ Joel closes his eyes and blindly switches the light off, trapping you in his arms afterwards. “Not even a little bit?“ You mindlessly play with Joels shirt and feel his chest rumble with laughter, before rising and sinking slowly again. “Go to sleep babe, you need to rest.“ He kisses your hairline and you huff, laying your hand flat on his stomach and finally closing your eyes. “You´re a tease.“ “You love me because of that, don’t deny it.“ Joel gently massages your back and you sigh. “Yeah I do.“ 

“Joel? Y/N?“ Loud banging on your door wakes you up and you groan, instantly covering your face with a pillow. “What time is it?“ You mumble sleepily as you roll over, not meeting any resistance. You frown and open your eyes, pillow slowly sliding down your face. “Joel?“ You reach out with your hand but it lands on an empty mattress, and you lean over his side to turn on the light. He´s nowhere to be seen, so you quickly get up and rub your eyes to get the sleep out of them. “I´m coming!“ You shout to the impatient visitor, its hamming against your door not slowing down. “One sec.“ You tiredly fumble with the lock and curse at the coldness on your naked feet. Now in front of you stands Tommy, fully dressed and with a rifle hanging over his shoulder. “Tommy?“ You ask confused, voice raspy from just waking up. The sun barely started to rise and the sky is still painted in darkish colors, making you wrap your arms around yourself. “Can I come in?“ Tommy cranes his neck to look past you and you nod, moving to make space for him. “Of course.“ You close the door after him and wrap your robes tighter around your body, feeling slightly exposed in your shorts and shirt. “Where´s Joel?“ Tommy asks as he rests his rifle on top of your dining table. You shrug your shoulders and open your mouth to say something, but another voice cuts you off. “I´m here.“ Joel comes walking down the steps, clothes covered in dust and wood splinters. “Maria is sending us out, the weather cleared up faster than expected. We´re meeting in one hour at the east gate.“ Tommy looks between you and Joel and an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach. “I thought we’d wait a couple days.“ You furrow your eyebrows and a  deep wrinkle forms on your forehead. “Change of plans.“ Tommy shrugs and Joel sighs, a deep hum coming from his throat. “One hour?“ He asks. Tommy nods and moves to leave again, grabbing his rifle and scratching it over the waxed surface. “I got to go and tell the others.“ He leaves without another word and you stand on your spot, arms hanging from your sides and body too tired to move. “That´s a bummer.“ You mumble as you rub your temple, Joel skipping down the steps and walking over to you. “Let´s get this over with. When we come back you’ll get your surprise.“ Joel wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you into a hug, your own arms winding around his waist. “You finished?“ You mumble against his chest, inhaling the strong scent of soap and dusty wood. “That´s why I got up early.“ He clears his throat and you look up, the tiniest smile forming on your lips. “You didn’t have to do that.“ You kiss the skin within your reach and Joel laughs softly, slowly loosening his grip on you. “I know, but I wanted to.“ His hands skim down to your back and sides, quickly slipping under your clothes and brushing over the naked skin. You shiver and straighten your shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes. “You and Tommy will be fine, right?“ You ask, voice dripping with worry. “of course, always are.“ Joel leans down and kisses you softly, no tongues, just lips moving in sync with each other. “Don´t worry baby, or you’ll get me worried again.“ Joel jokes to lighten the mood and you chuckle, kissing him one last time before pulling away. “Sorry, I’ll stop.“ You giggle when he attacks your cheek and jaw with kisses and his stubble brings your skin to life. It prickles and burns slightly at the same time, a sensation you’ve grown to love. “Joel you’re distracting me.“ You weakly push your hands against his chest and he pulls away, a smirk on his tired face. “Good.“ He is about to dip down again when you turn your head and make his lips land on your neck, gasping when you feel his teeth gazing your flesh. “I´m serious.“ You say with a giggle, grasping onto his bicep for support as your knees become wobbly. 

“We need to get ready.“ You breathe into his ear and Joel nods, teeth slowly sinking into the crook of your neck, surely leaving a mark. “I know.“ He calms the flesh with a kiss and pulls away, biting the inside of his cheek at your flushed expression. “You´re the death of me.“ You mumble with a weak smile and Joel retreats from you, slowly turning to walk into the kitchen and make breakfast. “If that is all.“ He winks and you shake your head laughing, walking up the stairs to get ready for the day. When you come down again, Joel is already sitting at the table and cuts some bread, mindlessly humming a tune you never heard him sing before. You creep up behind him and quickly kiss the back of his head before joining him on the table, giving your grumbling stomach the food he so desperately grumbles for. You barely get to clean your plates afterwards, when Joel places your backpack on the table with a heavy thud and calls out for you. “Y/N we have to go.“ He slides his own backpack on and you open the drain, letting the soapy water wash down and wiping your wet hands on a towel. “I´m coming!“ You quickly place Joels mug next to the sink to clean it later and join him in the dining room, grabbing your rifle and knife before putting on your jacket and backpack. “Can´t say I missed this.“ You groan as the strings sink into your shoulders, the weight of the weapons and your first aid kit heavy on your back. “You carrying stones in there or something?“ Joel asks with a half smile, handing you a pair of gloves you happily slide your hands into.“No, just the necessities.“ You step out of the comfort of your home and breathe in the cold ear, the munching of boots against snow ringing in your ears. “Alright.“ Joel sighs next to you, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers. You look at him in disbelief, as its something he’s never done out in public before, but he looks straight ahead and starts walking. “Don´t look so surprised.“ He says bluntly as you keep staring at your intertwined hands while walking. “I´m not suprised, just happy.“ You respond instantly, holding his hand tighter and walking so close to him that your shoulders occasionally brush. “When this is all over-“You start, waving your free hand in front of your face. “How about we go into a museum? Ellie told me you showed her one with dinosaurs and space. I´d like to see it too.“ You look to the side to read any emotion in Joels face. He briefly looks at you and nods. “Sure, I think you’ll like it there.“ “Did you go to museums often? Before the outbreak, I mean.“ You ask casually, enjoying the conversation more than silence. “Yeah, you can bet Sarah made me go into every damn museum in our country. She loved them.“ He smiles sadly and you nod, comprehending what he just said. “Did you enjoy them, too?“ You ask after some time. “Some more than others.“ He looks at you with a crooked smile and licks his lips, the cold drying them out. “I´m more the movie guy.“ He adds after some thinking. You bite back a laugh and bite your tongue. “I haven´t noticed.“ You joke, implying on the endless nights you spent on the couch with some 80´s movie running in the background. You know Joel loves them, Ellie told you that long before Joel and you were even a thing. “I can´t help it I’m a guy with decent taste.“ He laughs and you rest your head against his shoulder, your temple brushing up and down with each step. “We´re almost there.“ You blurt out as you spot the others in the distance, horses already prepared and ready to get picked up. “I know.“ Joel stops and cups your cheek, making you look up at him. Your breaths mingle in the cold and you stare into his eyes, trying to simply take all of him in. “I love you.“ Joel whispers and dips his head down, meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. “I love you.“ You say back, swallowing down the anxious feeling in your chest and hugging Joel close. After some seconds of just standing there and sharing intimate kisses, you pull away and grab his hand again. “Let´s meet the others, it looks like they’re already waiting for us.“ 

——————-

Sorry for the wait, but I’m only now starting to feel better. I´m busying myself with writing tho, so the next chapter shouldn’t take too long :) we´re slowly coming to an end y´all, I´m not ready.. 

#tlou #tlou ellie #tlouedit #TLoU fanart #tlou joel #tlou2 #tlou2 fanart #tlou2 ff #tlou2 fanfic #tlou2 icons #tlou2 imagine #tlou2 x reader #Joel Miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanart #joel miller imagine #joel miller series

[kyber-kisses]

Hymn (Part 4)

Winchester Brothers x Sister!reader

Wanna start from the beginning? Here is the Masterlist!

Warnings: a good amount of feels and angst. . but there is fluff!

Summary: Y/N Winchester has wrestled with demons ever since her mother died, but when her younger brothers lives are in danger it’s their souls she fights to save, because isn’t that what a big sister should do? (Based on the song Hymn by Joel Porter) 

A/n: *Throws chapter at you and runs away* Have fun! (gif created by the lovely ellen-reincarnated1967)

“What do you think your doing?” Your voice slightly raising as you stepped back into the motel room, shutting the door softly behind you with a loud click.

“Definitely . . . Not jumping on the bed?” Dean tried, both him and Sam staring down at you from their perch on the nearest bed.

“Wow. I’m convinced.”

“It was Deans idea!” Sam quickly pointed, his little hand lightly smacking against Deans face as he did.

“I leave for three minutes and you guys go crazy? Now I know I can never leave you guys again, which is disappointing-“ you sighed. “Seeing as I was gonna give you guys this extra bag of funyuns.” You slowly pulled the bag out of your hoodie pocket, instantly making Dean freeze.

“Okay, wait we’re sorry.”

“Oh are you? I said no funny business while I was gone.”

“Yes! I’m sorry! Can we have them?” Dean was practically vibrating at this point, teetering on the edge of the mattress.

Narrowing your eyes, you let a silence fall between you before giving in and toss the bag onto the other bed. “Fine, go to town. No crumbs on the bed.” It didn't even take a second before the middle child was vaulting over the space between the beds and ripping the bag open.

Sam grimaced, not making a move from his spot at all. “Funyuns are gross.”

“Yeah, well that’s why I got you this-“ being a subtle as you could, you passed Sam the candy bar you had grabbed from the vending machine with a quick wink, his eyes lighting up as he grabbed it.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“Yeah, don’t tell Dean.”

“I won’t.”

“Pinkie promise?”

He linked his small finger with yours. “I pinkie promise.”

*. *. *. *. *. *.

“Sam? . . . Sam!”

Suddenly snapping back into reality, Sam whipped his head around took at his brother. “What?”

“I’ve been talkin to you for the past five minutes, have you even heard a word that I’ve said?”

“. . .yes?”

“Wow, you are a terrible liar. What the hell were you even thinking about?”

Pressing his lips together the younger Winchester contemplated whether or not to say anything. You were always a risky topic . . . Especially to Dean, and seeing as his brother had been in a decent mood most of the drive he really didn’t want to take that away.

“Dude, seriously. Tell me what’s going on in that weird head of yours.” Flexing his hands on the steering wheel, Deans eyes bounced back between the road and Sam.

“Y/N. . . What else do you think I would be thinking about right now?”

Dean sucked in a breath before he nodded his head in understanding. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really. She’s gone. What’s it matter?”

He expected Dean to snap, lash out- like he did when they were younger and the wound still fresh, but instead he was silent. . . Only because he was trying to remember everything he could about his sister, both good and bad. He needed something to keep him grounded. For instance, You had been good at making people laugh, you’d take things in directions people wouldn’t expect- lewder, darker, more absurd— then ambush them into responding. Some of Deans humor stemmed from your own, he liked to think it was his way of keeping you close. Along with a love for old western movies and a passion for classic rock.

Happy thoughts. Just keep thinking happy thoughts, Dean. Just because Sam brought up Y/N does not mean you need to get bitter.

Turning his attention towards the radio, the hunter played with the volume until it was a soft hum that could easily be spoken over.

“You remember when Y/N used to play music in the mornings while Dad was gone on hunts?”

Sam let out a soft chuckle as confirmation. “You mean with that dinky old radio she got at a yard sale for like three bucks?”

“Yes! That’s the one!” Dean snapped his fingers, a grin tugging on his lips. “And it wasn’t even the good music we usually listened to in the car. . . It’s was like shitty upbeat soul and R&B.”

“You know she would probably smack you on top of the head if she heard you say that, right?”

“Yeah, probably-“ Dean chuckled, flicking on the turn signal as he turned onto a narrow two lane street. “Anyways you know how’d she dance around to it too? For like the soul purpose of embarrassing is even though there was no one else around?”

“Yeah, and she couldn’t dance worth a shit.” Sam added, smiling as he slowly began to remember.You were always doing stuff to get them to smile or laugh because you knew that in a lifestyle as dark as your families, you needed to keep something lit.

The rest of the drive felt lighter. . . Easier after that small conversation. Even after decades of absence you somehow still managed to put smiles on their faces.Still working hard even in death.

And then Dean pulled into the cemetery and that light and happy feeling he had had moments ago flickered and faded like a dying candle and he could feel his insides slowly beginning to twist as his face dropped. He turned off the engine and barely got two steps from the car before the feeling was too much and it felt like he was being crushed.

“Dean?”

“You know what? On second though this was a terrible idea. Why did we do this? We shouldn’t have done this. Why the fuck did I suggest this?” He quickly rambled, backing towards the car and reaching for the keys again. “Let’s- lets just go home and forget I ever suggested visiting this place-“

The older Winchester didn’t get very far before his brother was letting out a sigh and pushing him forward again. “We drove all this way. You’re not backing out now.”

“Sam-“

“Dude, we both agreed we would do this. Let’s start with just a minute and go from there.”

There was silence for a moment before Dean huffed and stopped resisting his brothers pushing. He felt like a kid again coming back here. Hell the last time he had been here he still was one. Even though they never found a body, their dad was decent enough to pay for a headstone, a place to come back to.

And then they never did.

The cemetery was cool, dew still on the grass as the morning sun began to peak through the trees and light haze. The place was empty except for them. . . Because who visits a cemetery at 6:30 in the morning? Dean sucked in another breath of fresh air, jamming his hands into his pockets despite it growing warmer out as the sun began to rise.

“You know, we probably should have brought mom with us. It’s kinda a dick move on our part to do this and not tell her.” Dean grumbled, eyes already glued on the headstone ahead.

“She’s still on that hunt with Jody. I didn’t really want to bother her.”

“Oh yeah, you’re totally right.” Dean snarked. “Would hate to remind good ol’ mom that her first born has a headstone right next to hers.”

“Why are you being such a dick? You suggested we visit.”

“It’s nothing, Sam. Just drop it.”

Gripping his brothers shoulder suddenly, Sam halted Dean in his tracks. “Nice try. Tell me what’s going on. You were fine ten minutes ago.”

Dean gnawed on the inside of his cheek for a moment before letting another sigh sleep through his lips. “Do you remember that case we worked a few weeks ago with the psycho spirit that caught us?”

“You mean reverend Johnson? Yeah, why?”

“I keep thinking about what he said-“

“Dean, he was a vengeful spirit. He was crazy.” Sam shook his head, dropping his hand from his shoulder. But Dean squeezes his eyes shut as if trying to forget. The words from the reverend still banging around inside his skull. Bad guys really needed to stop it with their monologues.

“What I’ve seen is that the lord provides for those who need it. If you don’t have something, that generally means you don’t need it, or you don’t deserve it.”

At first it had made perfect sense and Dean had just gone with it. He didn’t have his sister because he didn’t deserve to have one.

But then again, by that logic, they didn’t deserve a home when they were younger, and they didn’t deserve to love their sister and be safe. Y/N didn’t deserve her life.

“You’re right.” Dean nodded, in hopes of getting Sam to back off. “You’re right. Dude was crazy. Just hard to get those fuckin words out of my head.” He mumbled, the two of them somehow turning in unison to look at your headstone a few yards away.

It was like the granite slab was staring them both down. The two brothers both afraid to get closer. . . Because to Dean it was like having to face the truth all over again. You were gone. Here reality was set in stone (Pun intended). But then his legs were moving before his brain was and he was kneeling down the wipe the dirt and dust away from your name, calloused fingers smoothing over the engraved letters.

“Why’d you have to go be a hero, huh?” He whispered under his breath, feeling the sudden and familiar sting of on oncoming tears.

He could remember it all so clearly still, how you had thrust your rifle into his hands and quickly tugged on your oversized canvas jacket. How the wind had whipped at your partially pulled up hair when you swung the door to the motel room open. How you told them you’d be back and then never were. Dean wondered if you would still be the same now. Back then he was still too small for his flannels and still wasn’t sure how to aim a gun properly. If you were still alive what would you have looked like now? Would you be taller? Would your hair be longer? . . . And would you have recognized what he and Sam had become?

Would you recognize them at all?

“We shoulda brought flowers or something.” He mumbled, picking the few stray weeds that had grown around the base of the stone. He was fidgeting. He did that when he was uncomfortable.

“We can always go get some. We ain’t too far outside of town.”

Dean mumbled a soft I guess as he rested his chin on his knee, arms looping tightly around his leg as if trying to mimic a hug.

“I think I’m gonna call mom. She would want to be with us for the next stop we make. . . We can always come back here too if she really wants.” Sam spoke up, extending a hand to help pull his brother up.

“Do what you think is right or whatever. I’ll be in the car.” rising to his feet, Dean wiped the dirt from his hands onto the front of his jeans. If he stayed here another minute he was bound to start crying. As He began the trek back through the maze of headstones, his fingers absentmindedly tugged on the piece of fabric on his wrist. The bit of flannel gave him a sense of comfort, because sometimes a bit of cloth could feel like love, and that was all he really wanted right now. It was one of those moments in which he realized how many things he had lost that mattered. Dad. Bobby. Y/N. Sure he had lost mom, but she was back. The rest were still gone.

All he wanted was the chance to see Y/N again, to hear her say I missed you, and I've come home.

SPN Taglist:

@familybusinesswritingbro​​​​​​​​@a–1–1–3 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​​​​​​​ @music-is-all-i-need @agusdoti​​​​​​​ @callmekda​​​​​​​​ @jordangdelacruz​​​​​​​ @orphiceseum​​​​​​​ @andthatsmyworld​​​​​​​ @marvelfangirllll​​​​​​​​ @fandomnerdespressourself​​​​​​​​ @gladiosamicitias​​​​​​​ @castielsangelsx​​​​​​​ @lxstgxrl-ck​​​​​​​ @tis-i-the-wayward-idgit @amendoise @phoenixuprisingsstuff​​​​​​​ @ericalynne007 @kaitlaitlaitl​​​​​​​​  @totallyluciferr​​​​​​​​ @supernaturalenchanted​​​​​​​​ @dolanfivsosxox​​​​​​​@supernatural-ocs @emptycanvasposts​​​​​​​ @akshi8278​ @defenderrosetyler​​​​​​​​ @heyyy-hey-babyyy​​​​​​​ @idksupernatural​​​​​​​​ @vicmc624 @all-will-be-well-love@busy-bee-angel-misska @starsandmidnightblue​​​​​​​​ @lilulo-12fanfiction​ @beanie-beebo​​​​​​​​ @xoxoaudreymarie​​​​​​​​ @greenarrowhead​​​​​​​​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​​​​​​​​  @mysticalfuncollectorus​​​​​​​ @brebolin​​​​​​​ @biahblue​​​​​​​ @noahandthegiraffe​​​​

HYMN Taglist:

@biahblue​​​ @brebolin​​​ @noahandthegiraffe​​​ @psych0crybaby​ @beetears​​​ @supernaturalenchanted​​​ @skyelikestowrite @leej2468​ @vicmc624​ @let-me-luve-you​​ @lilwinchester67​

#dean winchester #Sam Winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x sister!reader #SPN #bi-danvers writing

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

[ragnarachael]

jukebox hero (stars in his eyes) — give her every reason to accept that you’re for real (i know i’m in love)

Pairing: Stephen Strange x ER Nurse!Reader

Word Count: 4,389

Series Summary: The five times you caught Stephen singing as he did work around the hospital and the one time he caught you.

Chapter Summary: Stephen Strange is new to the whole.. love thing. Thankfully, he figures it out with a little help.

Author’s Ramblings: HAPPY YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO JUKEBOX! it’s officially been a year since we’ve started this journey together! i’m so glad i started this story, and i’m thankful for everyone who has supported it through the year! anyways, i’m gonna stop rambling! this is it! we’re close to the end! (the gif has NOTHING to do with the content.... he just looks so nice in it okay)

also, since it’s the year anniversary, i’m having a little celebration kinda deal! here’s the post that talks about it more if you’re curious! enjoy the chapter!!

track one track two track three track four track five (you are here)

MASTERLIST !  FEEDBACK !

Stephen went back to his apartment that night and paced until he was about ready to pass out from lack of sleep.

He's messed up. He's very, very aware.

It's uncharted territory.

Stephen's never really... liked anyone this much before. And because of that, he was shifting gears to go into panic mode. While he was up pacing, he was trying to think of ways to tell you that it was all about you.

It's always been about you.

All he could come up with were grand displays of affection. Those weren't much his style. Nor yours, so that was out before it was ever in.

When he finally fell asleep, his dreams were about you and him. The relationship you two could have if he didn't mess it up.

That's when he knew he needed to ask for help.

Stephen never goes to anyone for help. Ever. Usually, he’s got everything under control, and fixes it no problem (ignore the fax and printer machine from that one time and the other time when he almost, almost broke some important thing when he was just starting his residency).

But this time was.. different.

"Please help me out, Christine. You're my only hope."

"I cannot believe I'm basically your Obi-Wan Kenobi right now," Christine stressed as she buried her face in her hands with a groan. She took her time sitting up properly at the nurse's station on the fourth floor of Metro-General before clearing her throat, the pads of her fingers moving to rub her temples. "I am not your only hope, first of all. And second: what the hell did you do now?"

"Wait, hold on, I'm not Leia—"

"Stephen, yes you are. Now what did you do?" Christine demanded, her hands landing onto the desktop harshly. Stephen let his jaw drop momentarily at her outburst before sighing, trying to loosen up his tense shoulders.

"You know how I was trying to get the courage to tell Y/N about how I feel?"

Christine let out a soft sigh, letting her hands slip from the desktop to her lap. "I remember. Did she not take it well?"

"No! She— Well," Stephen started hopefully as if he was about to lie about your reaction before huffing and rubbing a hand over his face. "Yes. She didn't."

Christine tried to hide the groan of frustration she let out as she buried her face in her hands.

"You're a damn idiot."

"Yes I am," Stephen agreed immediately, moving to cross his arms over his chest. "I don't know how to fix it."

Christine let her hands run down her face before finally letting them rest just under her chin to hold her head up. "You're asking me to ask Y/N out for you?"

"No—"

"That's such a smart idea! I can't believe—"

"Christine!" Stephen said sternly, letting his hands slam on the counter top that the desk was placed in front of. "That's not what I'm asking."

"Then what are you asking?"

That made Stephen stop and think.

What was he asking?

Stephen seemed frozen as Christine studied him as he looked for the answer. The words he was thinking of to describe what he needed help with weren't coming up easy.

This is what his mother meant when he was younger when she said he was hard to help, didn't she? Stephen noticed the look Christine was giving him. It looked as if she was concerned.

"Do you.. Do you not know what to do to win Y/N over?" She questioned gently now, starting to realize just how serious this was to Stephen. He was never this silent for long.

"I.." Stephen stopped to take a deep breath and push off of the counter. "Yeah. I don't know what to do."

"Really?"

"Yes really, Christine," Stephen heaved. "If I didn't care so much about this I wouldn't have asked for help. I've already messed up so much, I want to be able to come back from this, y'know." Stephen felt terrible after he said that. He sounded rude. And if he wanted help right now, he should act—

"Okay, okay. I'll help you."

Stephen's shoulders relaxed immediately at her reply before thanking her profusely. Christine could only laugh at his sudden joy and eased him down. "You're welcome, now shut up and get back here so we can plot."

Stephen was never faster to get behind the nurse's desk in his life.

He flung himself into the empty office chair in front of the free computer next to Christine, right leg bouncing nervously.

“So,” Christine started easily, pulling out a small note pad out from a drawer and grabbed her pen before crossing a leg over the other and holding it as if she were a therapist. “What have you thought of so far?”

When Stephen started listing his ideas—starting with extravagant and ending with simplistic—he didn’t expect pouring his lovesick heart out to Christine would be this easy. She was supportive and understanding with some of the ideas he originally had and was also willing to completely call him out on how the idea was a stupid one.

Stephen was feeling thankful he was on her good side for once.

He and Christine agreed to put down everything in two different columns.

One was deemed the “Definitely Useful”  and the other was deemed “Bad Ideas”. And the bad ideas weigh out the useful ones after they took a few minutes to talk it all out.

“I mean, I could start trying to drop hints when we talk? Maybe you could try to serenade her—”

“What?” Stephen questioned, suddenly scared as he sat up straight. “No way.”

“What do you mean no way? You sing all the time around here anyways—”

“Yeah, when I’m alone, not in front of people on purpose, Christine—”

“Oh my god—”

“What’s going on?”

Stephen and Christine looked up from the writing pad quickly to see you looking at the two them confused. Stephen seemed to let out a groan of thought, his mind completely moving elsewhere as he took in your appearance.

This was the first time he was seeing you since last night, and he could definitely feel the guilt wrapping around his heart when he noticed your eyes were a little redder than usual.

"We're just.. uh, we were just—"

"We're talking about making a technique together," Christine said, letting out what sounded like an agitated sigh. "But someone is too picky and won't choose something that could be improved on."

Stephen got the hint. He could hear it in Christine's voice.

He just couldn't come up with words. It's like after seeing you last night he can't form sentences.

"Yeah. Uh. That."

You couldn't help but eye the two of them behind the counter, shifting the bag you had on your shoulder. You were just getting in for your shift, it seemed.

"Well, as much fun as I'm having," Stephen started, his voice wavering with what he could assume was nervousness as he got up from the chair he was sitting in, "I've gotta dash. I've got a.. A uh.. thing."

"A thing?" You questioned, your voice practically dripping with what sounded like annoyance. Stephen tried to put on a confident face as he nodded in response, slipping past the opening of the nurse's station.

"A thing. I'll see you both later?"

Stephen didn't wait for a response from you or Christine as he sidestepped past you and moved into the hall that led into the hospital and out of the first floor of the ER.

His heart was pounding. It always was after talking with you. But this time? This time it was pounding out of fear and anxiety.

Maybe Christine was right. Serenading you could be an option. If he could even speak when he interacted with you the next time.

Running his hands over his face before letting his hands slip into his hair, Stephen sighed harshly while absentmindedly traveling to the wall of elevators to get to one of the floors he was set to operate in for the day, not even hesitating to slam his hand into the buttons on the panel that was attached to the wall.

The rest of his day was spent thinking about you, and all of the possible songs that he could even use to serenade you. Billy had actually played a few decent songs while they were in the OR together, but they just didn't fit.

He also kept coming back to ABBA and more stuff by The Eagles, but he just didn't think any of their songs fit the situation either. Well, some ABBA songs probably did. However, he didn't want you to correlate him with ABBA, since he knew that you'd hate him even more than you do right now if he did that.

He figured it out when he got in his car after his shift, already having another awkward interaction with you under his belt and another round of scolding from both Christine and Claire.

Billy Joel.

It was the first thing that came on when he started the car. Billy Joel's Tell Her About It. If he recalled correctly, from his 1983 album "An Innocent Man".

Why did it just hit him now? How the two of you met, months ago, he remembers calling you Billy Joel fondly. Why didn't he think of that sooner?

He really was an idiot.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered under his breath as he turned the volume dial of his car radio up after buckling himself in, preparing for his drive back to his apartment.

That night, he listened to most of that specific album on a repeat, finding it in a small stack of vinyls he happened to have thanks to a friend of his who thrifted them. Everything felt as if it was falling into place as he sang along to the song for the third time in a row as he got ready for his shower.

But the next day at work most certainly did not matter.

Stephen had come in his favorite pair of scrubs—the dark purple ones—and actually shaved prior to coming in, only to find that you weren't there.

Obviously, his first stop on his way in as he finished his coffee was the nurse's station to find Christine hunched over some paperwork.

She somehow knew that it was him who was about to speak up and relayed the information.

"She's not here today."

"Wait," Stephen said, his face scrunching up in concern. "Really? Like, not at all—"

"No," Christine replied with some laughter, looking up from the paperwork she was doing, "Y/N had a family thing to attend upstate."

Stephen clicked his tongue as he nodded, looking around the empty waiting room of the main floor. "Got it."

"Did you figure out what you're going to do? Is a serenade in the cards?" Christine questioned, her eyebrow wiggle accompanying her slight dramatized tone interest as she spoke.

"Maybe. Thank you for the cover from yesterday, by the way," Stephen replied, placing his cup of coffee down on the desk for a moment. "A new technique?"

Christine rolled her eyes as she smiled, shrugging.

"What can I say? I'm the best! Now go clock in. I have paperwork to do."

Stephen let out a dramatic whining noise as he grabbed his cup, turning to the doors that led into the rooms of the ER. 

He was quick to get to the locker room after clocking in, already singing the Billy Joel song quietly under his breath in between gulps of coffee. Even though Stephen considered it stupid to sing the song even though you're not here, it's stuck in his head. So he really couldn't help it.

However, Stephen learned Christine lied the second you ran into his chest. You were leaving the locker room as he was coming in.

And Stephen was forever thankful that his coffee was pretty much gone when the cup fell out and onto the floor, not even spilling as the plastic lid popped off.

"I'm sorry—"

"I'm so sorry—"

After you both spoke at the same time, you took a step back to get out of Stephen's personal space. The awkward air was tangible. 

"Uh, hey!" You exclaimed with a forced smile.

Stephen greeted you back with a stressed laugh, noticing you were wearing some scrubs that had planets and stars speckled on the fabric. That meant..

"You're here for work?"

"Yeah! Actually.. yeah I am," you started as your hands slid into your pockets. "The thing I had got... cancelled, so I just decided to come in."

Stephen had a feeling that the story was a cover up now. He shouldn't be so quick to judge, but he has a hunch. Maybe you were lying to him just so you could avoid him?

He's really messed it up that much, hadn't he?

"Oh? A thing? That's a shame," Stephen replied evenly, ignoring the pang of sadness he felt in his chest when he realized that, yes, you were probably trying to avoid him now. 

"Yeah, but it's rescheduled for two weeks from now, so it's all good," you explained quickly, almost as if you didn't want to stop talking to him.

It made something in Stephen's chest soar. He ignored his racing thoughts to pay attention to what you were saying once you cleared your throat awkwardly.

"I noticed you were singing uh... Tell Her About It? That Billy Joel song, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, off his 1983 album An Innocent Man."

"That's such a good album," you said softly, taking a breath before shaking your head and giving a genuine smile that knocked the wind out of Stephen's lungs. "I'll uh, catch you later."

Stephen agreed quietly as he watched you leave the locker room, scrunching his face up in confusion as he leaned to pick up his empty coffee cup and plastic lid.

Were you catching on? Or were you just coming to terms with the mess that Stephen had made that you had no clue about?

One thing that stood out in his mind though, was that he was headed in the right direction. Now his only goal was to try and stay in it.

He wishes there was more time to dwell on it, but after he put everything away in his locker, the day was nothing but being occupied with multiple surgeries and sitting in on other operations. Stephen barely had time to stop and think about everything that's already happened in the first half of his shift. However, for the second half, he was determined to sing under his breath whenever he could. 

Stephen barely bumped into you. Even after clocking out to go home, you were nowhere to be found.

Day two of.. whatever he was trying to pull was almost exactly as the first one. Busy, full of surgeries and singing Billy Joel whenever possible, and barely running into you. Part of him was starting to wonder if he should just bite the bullet and talk to you out right.

But that genuinely scared him. The idea of confrontation, especially with a topic he can't quite get a whole grasp on yet? He'd rather take his chances singing under his breath.

However, the third and final day of what he deemed as "Subtle Serenading" after sitting and realizing he needs to try and speed this process up, Stephen changed the song.

Billy Joel's Leave A Tender Moment Alone was shoved into his head and he was going to make sure that it didn't leave at all until he actually got to see you for the day.

Stephen's shift was going well. Although it was a night shift—his least favorite—he still found ways to be productive while he sang the slow song. Some of his coworkers did watch him sing a little too loud as he made copies of some paperwork to place back in a file he was working in, though. That made him a little self-conscious.

When he was doing some rounds for information on some patients he had helped operate on, he caught glimpses of you and Claire behind the counters of the floor you were all working on. 

He also noticed your choice of scrubs today was just a regular dark green color, which made him wish he chose to wear his pair, it would have been terribly ironic, but maybe it would start conversation rather than intense stares across the halls of the quiet hospital.

Around midnight, he decided to get coffee. It was his third of the night already, sure, but he had seven hours left in his shift. He was sure he needed the caffeine to keep him from losing his mind.

Stephen was trying to hold back the volume of his singing as he made his way to the break room, dramatically bopping his head back and forth before throwing the door open. His voice faltered slightly as he saw you working on paperwork in the middle table.

The very same table that you tried to nap at on the day you almost—

"What's got into you?" You questioned suddenly as Stephen felt the door hit him square in the back. He let out a grunt, moving over to the countertop where the coffee pot was placed.

"I just.. didn't expect you in here."

"In the break room?"

Stephen felt the sudden urge to slap himself, realizing how stupid his reply was. He let out a quiet sigh  as he started to mess with the coffee machine, getting ready to make a fresh pot.

"Yeah. It's.. It's one of those days."

You seemed to take that as an answer, humming in agreement before all the two of you could hear was the scratching of a pen on paper.

It took Stephen a bit to work up the courage to actually start singing again, but he started singing the chorus of the song just under his breath as he placed the filter in the coffee machine's required compartment before filling it with one of the vanilla flavored coffee grounds that someone had left in the designated coffee cabinet. 

The silence was a little tense, but Stephen didn't mind. He would never turn down time with you, whether you were conversing with him or not.

You had decided to speak up as he started to sing the song over.

“Could you please stop with the Billy Joel?”

Stephen turned around after he finished checking that the coffee machine was ready to be started before pressing the start button. “I’m sorry?”

“You’ve been singing Billy Joel for the past three days and it’s been driving me  crazy,” you explained as you continued filling in what looked like paper work at the table you occupied.

Stephen rose a brow, starting to feel his heart to pick up speed, “may I ask why?”

You paused writing on the paper and took in a deep breath before continuing.

“Because you sing the songs perfectly and it's making me wish that—” You cut yourself off as you realized how frantic your voice was getting. You took a moment to collect yourself before huffing. “Nevermind. It’s not worth it.”

“Hey,” Stephen said gently as he pulled up a seat to sit next to you as you finished filling out the page you were on, “it’s worth it if it’s bugging you. You know you can tell me, right?”

“I-It’s stupid.” You placed the pen down slowly after capping it, rotating it in your hands to avoid Stephen’s eye contact.

“It’s not stupid, Y/N,” Stephen said sternly.

You finally glanced at Stephen and he felt his heart clench in his chest from worry. He watched you hesitate and take a deep breath before speaking.

“It’s making me wish that... That it was about me. The singing, or whatever.”

Stephen froze. 

His mind was racing with your confession. You wished it was about you.  It was about you. You just didn’t get that. It’s always been about you since the first day you actually talked to him. It’s never not been about you.

Stephen’s brain was kicking into overdrive. This wasn’t the plan he and Christine had decided on at all. He usually stays on script. He can’t stay on script.

He may as well be throwing caution to the wind with the rest of your relationship you have with him, if he could even call it that—

You let out a shaky laugh, gathering your papers together into a small stack.

“It was dumb. I told you. I told you. Let’s forget this ever happened, ‘kay? Cool—”

“Can I tell you something?” Stephen said quickly his hand reaching out to grasp your own that wasn't holding the paper, making sure to make eye contact to let you know in his own way that he’s serious. You hesitated again before sighing, everything in your hands abandoned onto the table top.

You gently pulled your hand from Stephen's and waved it. “Knock yourself out.”

“The other night, in the parking garage,” Stephen started slowly. How the fuck did he even get to this point? The plan was far in the rearview mirror. He had to keep moving forwards and bite the bullet. 

He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face with irritation. You can do this.

“I was talking about you.”

The silence you had in response was deafening. Stephen didn’t dare breathe while he waited for a reply.

“I.. You..  What?" Was all you could reply with. 

Stephen didn’t know if that was due to shock or happiness.

“It was about...  you, Y/N. All of it. I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was someone else—I’m not too sure how I could, if I’m honest—but that doesn’t matter. It was about you. When you talked to me and Christine a day or two ago, I was asking her for help on what I could do to.. to fix this mess, I guess.”

Stephen took a moment to glance up at you now, no longer looking at his hands that were trying to avoid picking at his nails. He couldn’t read your emotions on your face like usual, so he took it as a cue to keep going as he stood up from his chair to start pacing around the break room rather than try to think about bouncing his leg.

“I knew it looked suspicious but I couldn’t figure out what to do, and--and it was just so hard for me to figure it out on my own because this is the one thing I didn’t want to try and mess up with—”

“Stephen—”

“—And I don’t know what I would do with myself if you ended up hating me. I can’t stop thinking about you almost every time I turn the radio on and hear a classic rock song. It’s like the radio is hooked up to my brain and just knows I’m thinking of you in some way—”

You tried to interrupt Stephen again, but he continued rambling.

Stephen Strange never knew how to shut up once he got started rambling. Whether it came to his studies or you, apparently.

“Stephen,” you said, cutting him off for the third time, standing up and placing your hands on his chest to stop him from pacing. “You’re rambling.”

Stephen looked at you before you watched his face turn a fairly cute red color as he realized.

“I-I’m.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start rambling. This is turning out just great—”

The words in Stephen’s throat died just as quick as they started spilling out again, your hands curling around the collar of his scrubs to yank him down and finally, finally kiss him.

Stephen was in a state of shock for a minute, taking a moment to realize that yes, your lips were on his.

After he came to his senses, he kissed you back gently, as if he was trying to hold back. Still unsure of your answer, even though your answer was in the kiss.

Sadly, you had to pull away, knowing that Stephen had to breathe, since you had cut him off while talking.

Although, something told you that he would continue kissing you, with or without air in his lungs.

Your hands were still wrapped around the collar of his top, your shared breathing soft as another blanket of silence fell over the two of you.

It was... relieving. As if the kiss you just shared cleaned the slate and you knew where you both stood.

Which is why Stephen leaned back in for another kiss. Except this time, it was more desperate and almost like he’s been waiting to let himself out of his own head and just act on his instincts like he did with everything else.

When you met him in the middle, throwing your arms around his neck as your lips molded perfectly with his for the second time today, you found yourself kissing back with the same amount of hunger. You tried getting up onto your toes to makeup for the height difference, but Stephen’s arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you slightly as he shuffled the two of you towards what you could only assume was the counter top.

It turns out you were right as your lower back ran into the edge, causing you to squeak against Stephen’s lips as your hands gripped handfuls of his hair in the process of your shock.

That made Stephen pull away to chuckle breathlessly just inches away from your lips, pressing his forehead to yours. His laughter was extremely contagious, and you found yourself giggling with him as you let your head fall back slightly.

Stephen’s anxiety was for nothing, he realized in this moment.

His panic to try and make amends  with grand gestures wasn’t as dire as he believed it to be. All he had to do was get himself rambling and it all worked out.

It all worked out perfectly.

"So," you started quietly once your eyes were locked with Stephen's once again, the giggling out of your system. "You take song requests now?"

"For you, Billy Joel? Anyday."

#doctor strange x reader #doctor strange imagine #doctor strange fanfic #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x ER nurse!reader #stephen strange imagine #doctor strange drabble #stephen strange drabble #marvel imagine #marvel one shot #marvel drabble #marvel writer #rachael writes #JBH(SIHE)

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 3: Group A... again? Playoff Time! Commentary & Guesses

Hi all my Masked Singer fanatics! Time for episode 3 of this new season of The Masked Singer woohoo! Group A is back... and you are probably thinking how about Group C? Group C won’t be performing until after the World Series which is about last week in October to first week of November... so next week we will be seeing Group B in the playoffs as well, but having said that, let’s focus on Group A  (aka Popcorn, Giraffe, Sun, and Snow Owls) again because my guesses have changed like a lot since last week... I feel more sure about my guesses this time, I swear they are better and more researched this time... 

But First let’s talk about the eliminated contestant who is....

DRUMROLL PLEASEEE 

THE GIRAFFE 

Performance: He sang “Get Down on It” by Kool & the Gang and it was much better than his first performance, even though the beginning was a bit scary. However, I kind of figured he was going to go home because the rest kind of outshined him by a lot. 

Anyways, the Giraffe ended up being...

*INSERT DRUMROLL AND AN AUDIENCE SCREAMING “TAKE IT OFF”* 

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN 

And if you are like, um who... same! Well he is from the hit show Beverly Hills 90210 and he’s Megan Fox’s ex husband.... and I actually was convinced due to a large amount of YouTube comments saying that it was him because of the clues (did you see how wonderful that segue was? Come on, that was flawless): 

The Fox from Season 2 and Transformers clues= his ex wife/mother to his kids, Megan Fox reference 

Peach Pit= famous scene from 90210 (idk man I’ve heard of the show but never seen it, don’t judge me) 

Robins on his shoulders= nod to him being best friends with Robin Thicke (we’ll talk about that hilarious moment in a second, btw spoiler alert Robin didn't guess his best friend) since they were both 16 

Golden Ear Time: 

It’s been a while since last time they didn’t show it (btw Jenny got a point for guessing Gremlin) so lemme explain this is the segment where I talk about the judges’ guesses... but today I am just gonna talk about Ken and Robin because they had some funny moments with these guesses (oh and btw I am gonna do judges’ guesses for the rest of them, and Joel McHale was a guest judge so he’s included below.. just so you guys know who I mean when I say Joel) 

So Ken guessed Shia Lebouf.... um, ok? Not the first time... What’s funny tho is that his explanation for his answer was so much that even the Giraffe fell asleep like damn lmao 

Then Robin... his best friend since age 16 (these men are both in their 40s, married/divorced with kids and everything), his neighbor, they were in a 2 man band together.... and HE STILL DIDN’T GUESS HIM (and a bunch of 90210 fans did and even got the reference wowwww). The best part was his face when he saw it was Brain, he was like nooooooooo I done messed up (I was about to curse, but this is a family show), funniest thing ever 10/10 would recommend watching just for that reaction

Anyways, we are done here, now to the final 3 for Group A: 

1. THE POPCORN 

Performance: She sang “Falling” by Harry Styles and damn what an improvement! This is the stuff I was looking for when I saw how adorable her costume was. Omg this was my favorite performance of the night, it was so memorable and amazing! 

As for my guess, I changed my answer and I feel confident about this one, I am locking it in.... 

I think that the Popcorn is 80s pop star.... 

TAYLOR DAYNE 

Here’s why, clues please:

Mention of her being sick and having anxiety as a kid= when she was 5 she underwent ureteral reimplantation surgery and struggled with panic attacks, anxiety, and agoraphobia (fear of open/crowded spaces) 

Crimper and Rubik's cube= 80s reference, when she started her career (1985) and gained success

LGBTQ+ Flag= huge LGBTQ+ supporter 

Venus= planet of love, which most of her songs are about

Judges’ Guesses: 

Ken: Katy Perry?! (I know it’s Ken and he’s not great at this, but really?!) 

Joel: Gloria Gaynor (meh, that’s better, I’ve seen this guess a bit, but nope) 

Jenny: Vanessa Williams (nope, I don’t think so Jenny, that’s worse than Gloria Gaynor) 

2. THE SNOW OWLS 

Performance: They sang “Like I’m Gonna Lose You” by John Legend and Meghan Trainor and I really heard the country in their voice this time and they sounded older so the moment I heard them I was like yeah nope not Julianne and Derek at all. However, even though I love them, I really preferred their first performance even though this one was cute and I really want them to go super far. 

As for my guess, I changed my answer and thank you to all the people who helped me out by yelling at me on the YouTube comments section, I am gonna go with country duo....

CLINT BLACK AND HIS WIFE LISA HARTMAN 

Here’s why, clues please:

Witch hat= Lisa played a witch, Tabitha, in the Bewitched sequel 

Going through a messy breakup = Clint had a pretty bad legal falling out with his management company

Anchor with MANagement= Clint was in a movie named Anger Management in 2004 

Opportunity fit for a queen= their song together “When I say I do” going to the Tonight Show and her being apprehensive about it, but him pushing her to do it. 

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: Will Ferrell and Rachael McAdams (what’s your proof?)

Joel: Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood (I like that one, pretty close) 

Jenny: Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman (also close not mad at this guess)

3. THE SUN

Performance: She sang "Praying” by Kesha and wow, so good! I loved it so much, her and the seahorse are stiff competition. She’s amazing, I am really into her, she’s one of my faves. 

As for my guess, I am doubling down on my last guess (only one I felt good about).. Let’s go: 

LEANN RIMES

Here’s why I’m doubling down, clues please:

Fractured home= parents were divorced

Into the woods= she used to date Tiger Woods (say what now?! yes this is real, I searched it up after reading a comment on YouTube)

Ugly Rumors= She appeared in Coyote Ugly/ sang for the soundtrack and there were really horrible rumors about her and her divorce

Over the moon= her songs: can’t fight the moonlight and nothing new under the moon 

8 Ball= She was on Star Search at age 8

Judges’ Guesses:

Nicole: Carrie Underwood (her logic is bad, but close enough) 

Jenny: Mandy Moore (um, idk the voice doesn’t match) 

Robin: Katherine McPhee (I like his logic, but no, the voice is too distinct) 

Alright so that’s it! Sorry for it being late but better late than never. I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know if you agree or disagree in the comments and I’ll see you in a couple of days for the Group B playoffs (little fun prediction if you made it this far: I think the Whatchamacallit is next to leave)! BYE!!! 👋🏼

#the masked singer #brian austin green #giraffemask #the masked singer season 4 #masked singer #entertainment #singing #music

[richukisbb]

Okay so meeting them this time was an unreal experience and I’m shaking. We got to the venue around 5:30 and wasn’t inside until 8:30. Latin men are late, which they were about an hour behind tbh. 

It was pouring rain but I made friends with other cncowners and that’s what I love about the fandom. One girl guessed I was a Richard and I’m like, “Damn how’d you know”

I’m gonna skip the nitty gritty like how I was fucking freezing, hungry (I hadn’t eaten much because I felt like I would vomit), and my feet sore because I was in heeled boots. 

Also yes, they bought pizza for us but I wasn’t going to eat it in fear of pizza breath and being bloated. 

When we got inside the venue, I took my mom, it was an intimate space. There were a bunch of rumors that we had to wear our jackets to take the pictures. But y’all I picked this outfit with the help of @yatusabess so I wasn’t gonna let it go to waste. Luckily, you could’ve left your things on the floor near the exit. 

Also no phones. So if they saw you with your phone, you’d be kicked out of the line. 

After setting all my stuff down, I had my photo of the basketball game on the ready. 

Tóxica was playing on the loud speaker. Like okay, it’s not the best choice of hype song but it’s our boys so we stan. 

Then we got closer to the front and Ya Tú Sabes starts playing, which slaps if you don’t listen to the lyrics.  

Thankfully I actually know the lyrics. 

Then I’m about two people behind from meeting them and the chorus hits so I’m dancing and singing. Ya Tú Sabes has that beat that’s so sensual?? I was just having fun to loosen the nerves. 

Their videographer saw me dancing to the chorus and took video. 

Then, Chris sees me and we’re kinda dancing together, pointing at each other and swaying our hips to the beat as though we were dancing with each other.  

I swear it was like a Y/N moment we write about. 

Here’s THE Christopher Velez just five feet away from me and we are matching the beat and not caring who’s watching us. Literally Ya Tú Sabes sounds like a bad bitch song so I’m feeling it and because I’m having fun with it, so is Chris. 

Like I said before, thankful that Tóxica just finished playing because I can’t get down to that. 

In fact, Chris got so distracted by our small dance party, he forgot he was supposed to be taking a picture with another fan and instead kept his eyes on me as we danced to Ya Tú Sabes. 

In my head I’m thinking damn ok can we hit the clubs after this?? I don’t even wanna hook ups with you, I just want to have a good time. 

One of the store managers is like “hug the first three, picture, then hug the last two.”

I’m just agreeing with her but highkey no one listens to that. 

So now it’s my turn and I go to CHRIS and show him my picture. CHRIS takes the photo and is genuinely trying to recall the memory so I said, “I don’t know if you remember but we took this photo. My ex broke up with me because he saw it and turns out he was cheating on me.” 

I was trying to be fast and coherent. When you’re at a M&G you have to utilize every second you have. 

Now Chris and Erick are both staring at the photo then at me. Chris’ mouth is hung open trying to process what I said. 

Erick takes hold of my right bicep and says, “Wait really?”

I remember this because in order to reply I had to look into those STUNNING JADE eyes!!

So I nodded, “Yes. Really. He BROKE up with me. But he was the one cheating all along.” 

I’m so proud of Erick and how far he’s come to be a buy linguini king ✊🏼

Wbk but Erick is really fucking beautiful lol. 

But then Alex, their security, is rushing us like “picture, picture” so I go to hug Zabdiel and Richard. 

Richard cheek kisses me and hugs me like we’re best friends and he’s like “Hi baby.” Pretty sure the hug was longer than the other boys but that’s because I’m most comfortable with Rich.

Tbh what I remember about Richard was how firm his embrace was and feeling his lips against my cheeks. He was super chill. 

I’m not. 

I’ll rob a bank for that man. 

The boys originally stood in a 5 line formation but none of them were paying attention to their managers or Alex and instead they broke formation to huddle around me and are talking to me. 

CHRIS cuts in front of Erick and Zabdiel to ask, “Wait so you found out about him cheating because of us?”

I was prepping for the photo said, “Yeah and I’m so so thankful. You have no idea.” 

Richard was all proud and piped up “Oh yeah! I remember that day and about your ex.”

He would remember because I met him in August and spilled everything back then. Rich was so cute when he said that like he was closer to me than the others. 

Like we had a secret the others didn’t have. 

It was funny to see how they all kinda competed over who remembered me and that game. When really it was probably Richard that recalled me most since I actually sat next to him and talked with him. 

Honestly there were too many hands holding my own and lips on my cheeks to remember who did what and where. 

But the first picture is taken. I remember a hand being outreached and I placed my own in it and whoever it was, gripped onto me tight. I got the photo and didn’t know I was holding Chris’ hand but damn, I felt loved.

FACTS THE BOYS SMELL WONDERFUL!!! 

During the first picture, I really felt like I was on a cloud or something. They were all so soft and I was being surrounded by cozy hoodies and warm bodies. 

I was hugging Richard again, he kisses my cheek. Richard consumes me like nobody’s business. 

I know Joel said “Wait! I remember that day.” 

I feel like Joel really wanted to be a part of the commotion and that was sweet.

Their videographer actually took photo or video of the basketball picture I brought them. 

Now it was my mom’s turn for her picture. Her first language is Spanish so she’s talking to the boys in Spanish like it’s no big deal. 

I’m standing between Joel and Richard. Richard turns to me like “Honestly, forget that N-word, I told you before.” 

And I said “Yeah, I know.” 

I appreciate Richard for the fact he’s ALWAYS taken the time to talk to me privately. 

Even if it’s just for a moment, a second, Richuki has always made me feel seen and heard. 

Back in August, even when they rushed him into the bus, he turned around to me to say “Move onto the next one.”

Then yesterday, as I was standing by him, he turns to me to reaffirm that I’ll be okay. 

That I can move on. 

My mom is talking in Spanish to Zabdiel and Erick, whom btw were mystified that my mom was speaking Spanish. I was watching Zabdiel’s face and he was tilting his head and nodding at my mom like she’s some sea creature at an aquarium. 

My mom says she felt the boys wanted to ask how she knew Spanish but didn’t know how to approach the question.  

As my mom is lining up for her picture, I asked Richard, “Can we do a proposal picture because that’s my mom?” 

So he’s like “Sure what do you want me to do?” 

Richard looked behind him and made sure there was enough room between him and Zab to actually do this photo. 

Quickly, he grabs my hand and gets down on one knee. 

I love how down he was for it. He didn’t hesitate or question anything, he just got to his knee and took my hands. 

If you look at the progression of the photos, it’s my smiling mom totally unaware that her daughter is aboutta get proposed to. Richard is a little blurry because he’s getting on his knee and I look genuinely surprised that it’s happening. 

Then my mom sees Richard, the second photo, and maybe it’s finally clicking.

The third photo, of course Richard is sticking his tongue out and my mom is hella shocked she just got a new son-in-law. 

Richard said: Her last ex fucked up but it’s okay because she upgraded 😛

It was everything I wanted. I was surrounded by all the men we love, my mom was there, and it was professionally taken!! 

Oh and as Richard was getting to his knee, the rest of the band, was making cooing noises. 

I remember Joel because he was right next to us, going like “oh woah. Woah. Woah.” Hence why he’s making those 😱 face.

I think he’s the one that gets asked to “propose” most or so I’ve seen from the pictures. That’s why I think for Richuki to do it, the boys support. 

Anyways, the boys are doing their typical hoot and holler. 

And I’m fucking giddy af. Like pretty sure I blacked out. Just seeing Richuki and feeling his hands hold mine was so unreal. 

They snap that photo and I’m absolutely so happy. 

My mom says “I was getting ready for the picture and suddenly I see him get on his knees so I’m shocked. I had no idea he was gonna do that.” 

Richard and Joel hug and kiss my cheeks again. We say, “bye” again. My mom goes to hug Richard and BYPASSES JOEL but Joel thought she was gonna hug him so I had to nudge her. Then she turns to Joel and they hug, it was actually cute.

Then security cuts off our bracelets and they say, “you should leave the photo for them.” 

So I wrote a little note and left it with them. 

If any of y’all get to meet them, my biggest advice is to have fun. You get back what you give into the M&G. It’s okay to be nervous but don’t let nerves run your experience. Be honest with them, talk about music, and just remember they’re people too. 

Also etiquette, don’t shove your hands down their pants or tongue in their throats. There are some poses that are obviously more comfortable for the boys than others. I know we all want that picture perfect shot but I saw some pictures and the boys weren’t totally themselves.  

That kind of discomfort translates into the final shot. 

Finally, I wanna always thank the boys for everything they’ve done. 

They helped me out of a bad relationship, they’ve given me a whole genre of music that’s extended my music library, and above all they gave me this CNCOwner family, that I couldn’t go a day without being a part of. 

I’m eternally grateful for everyone here 😘💕💕

#idkk if anyone cares #but here's a breakdown of my experiences with the m&g yesterday!!! #love you all #cnco #richard camacho #erick brian colon #joel pimentel #zabdiel de jesus #christopher velez

[joeymozzarello]

unspoken passion

I’m writing about Tim Murphy but don’t get too excited.

it’s better if you have ‘just the way you are’ by billy joel playing on repeat in the background. trust me.

Dedicated to Madeline<3 

I made this tweet earlier and this is basically what this is:

~~+~~

“Thanks again for this,” Madeline turned to her best friend, the tall redhead in a suit that didn’t quite fit him right. He gave out a chuckle, rolling his eyes as he fiddled with one of the buttons on his blazer.

“Stop thanking me, you’re becoming a cliché,” he playfully hit her on the back making her stumble slightly forward. He laughed. “You’re so dramatic.”

The wedding reception was lively and filled with people she either didn’t know or met maybe once or twice. At least this time she wouldn’t be stuck at the singles table again. Last time, it was full of sad girls who got drunk and tried to sleep with virtually anybody and old men who no one knew. She’d spent the whole night regretting even showing up. Tim’s gaze flashed around the room, eager and childish, biting his lip, probably eager to get on the dancefloor.

There was a lot of noise, this wedding seemed a lot more lighthearted than the last she’d been to but maybe it was because this time she wasn’t alone. Tim was always the one that made things more exciting for the both of them. The bus rides to museums were always filled with the music from his mixed CDs or he’d fill scrapbooks full of cut out comic book pages and he’d create his own so that she could read them on the bus. Things like that always made her feel better, so just having him here with her made her feel a hundred times better.

She and Tim made their way to their table, this time she knew she was going to be sitting amongst friends, not only was she very close to one of the bridesmaids but also anyone Tim met ended up being his friend by the end of the night so it wouldn’t be nearly as awkward as it usually was. She’d just let Tim take the lead, do most of the talking and if necessary she’d crack a few jokes or ask a few questions but mainly, the only thing she was there to do was support her friend. Who just got married. She must be here somewhere, my friend, uh, Marie--no Joan, wait--

“Tim,” Maddie said lowly, her eyes wide and her cheeks getting slightly redder as time went by. Tim turned to her, eyebrows raised. “Whose wedding is this?” 

He burst out laughing, she hit his arm, trying to get him to stop so that not too much attention would be drawn to them. “It’s one of your friends! How am I supposed to know?”

“I don’t know, Timothy, I've been to so many lately I’m losing my mind!” 

“This is so funny.”

“Piss off,” she rolled her eyes. “Do you know or don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,” he said smugly, her face lit up, happily, that only made him giggle. “That doesn't mean I’m gonna tell you, there’d be no fun in that!” 

“This isn’t fun,” she pushed him, barely doing anything at all.

They got to the table and the first thing Tim did was shake hands with everyone there. He introduced himself, smiled, cracked a few jokes and all she could do was stand behind him and smile awkwardly. She spotted her friend, the bridesmaid, and her shoulders relaxed. “Lyn!” She shouted making Lyn look up and smile. Lyn was tall and skinny and naturally a model, she probably worked with Calvin Klein or something at the moment, Maddie couldn’t keep up.

Tim turned slightly, looking at Lyn as she budged past lots of different people with the brightest smile on her face. Tim was intrigued, he didn’t make it obvious but something about his body language made Maddie raise an eyebrow. “You’re drooling,” she scoffed. Tim jumped out of his skin and shook his head, pretending he had no idea what she was talking about.

“OMG, Maddie! I haven’t seen you in so long! How have you been?” Lyn pulled her into a hug, and Maddie happily accepted. Lyn was one of those people that connected with anyone through touch. She would take any opportunity to let you know that she’s supporting you and listening to and stuff like that. She was an overall nice person.

“I’ve been good! I saw you on a billboard last week, thought I was going crazy! You’re super popular now, we’re a long way from high school!” Maddie giggled, everything about her tone hinted at the fact that generally, she wasn’t being genuine, as much as she like Lyn, she found her a little annoying, everything with her sounded like a competition, so Maddie always had to lay down the compliments to avoid it getting annoying. Maddie turned to the overgrown boy next to her whose eyes were wide and stupidly pretty. “Tim, this is--”

“Lyn Carter,” Tim breathed. He shook himself out of his trance. “I’m a huge fan of your work, I saw what you did for all of those charities and your expedition to plant new trees in the rainforest, I really, really love what you do for the environment,” he shook her hand, her smile got brighter, a little shocked.

“That’s nice to hear, Tim, what do you do?”

“I’m a palaeontologist. I study dinosaurs,” he scratched the back of his head nervously, a blush rising on his cheeks. Madeline’s eyebrows knitted together and she cleared her throat. 

“Should we sit?”

Tim spent about an hour babbling to Lyn about the environment and basically spitting out any facts he knew or could remember, debating them with Lyn and they went back and forth for ages. Sometimes he’d turn to Maddie and rub her shoulder with a smile and ask if she was okay, to which Maddie only smiled and nodded back. In truth, she was bored out of her mind. She wasn’t even really listening to what they were saying, she’d spaced out then minutes in and had only really spoken to Mr H, the old man sitting opposite her, she’d asked him to pass her the salt because he’d been hogging and she’d been waiting for ten minutes.

Tim’s hand on her shoulder took her out of her trance, he’d stood up. He leaned down and with a smile, he said he was going to the bathroom and gave her a quick and innocent kiss on the cheek. She didn’t know why, this rarely happened but in the moment she didn’t really think much of it. 

Lyn watched Tim leave with a smile on her face and Maddie rolled her eyes. As soon as he was out of sight, Lyn squirmed and moved up onto Tim’s chair and sat next to Maddie. “Oh, my God, Mads,” she blinked with a huge grin, her mouth slightly open. “What have you done to this guy?” 

Maddie deadpanned for a minute. She wasn’t processing what Lyn had just said, it didn't make any sense. “Pardon?”

“He’s literally obsessed with you, I don’t know what you did to this man but he’s completely enchanted by you,” Lyn giggled at Maddie’s expression. “Do you seriously have no idea what I’m talking about?” 

Maddie thought about it. Tim and Lyn had been talking for an hour straight, not once to her directly, she basically felt ignored most of the time, and pitied every time Tim checked up on her. This didn’t feel like Tim was enchanted by her, mainly like he was just doing her a favour and was having a good time without her.

“Okay, let me lay it down for you--” Lyn cleared her throat, turning around to make sure he wasn’t coming back yet. “Tim brought your name up in the conversation every two sentences, he told me about fourteen stories about your childhood together, showed me a picture of you and him holding some award he won and literally zoomed in to your face to comment on the colour of your eyes. If that ain’t love,” she laughed.

Madeline didn’t say anything. She kept opening her mouth but nothing was coming out, it just felt like a rush to the head, none of it made sense. She felt a bit like she needed to chuckle or brush it off as if it were a joke but Lyn’s eyes didn’t have a trace of humour in them, just a gleam that showed some sort of glee at this discovery. “Tim isn’t in love with me,” was all Maddie could muster up. Her voice was quiet and cracked slightly and suddenly she was begging to feel a little lightheaded.

“And don’t even get me started on you and your green eye,” Lyn laughed.

“My eyes are blue,” Maddie said, confusion covering every inch of her face.

“I meant your jealous little remarks and faces! Girl, you’ve got it and you've got it bad!” Lyn pushed her shoulder playfully and Maddie didn’t move. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t have anything!”

That’s when she saw Tim coming back from the bathroom, childishly pulling his trousers up and trying to frantically tuck his shirt into his pants before getting to the table. Lyn followed Maddie’s gaze and mouthed ‘here he comes’ before she moved back to her own seat and begun tucking into the food she hadn’t gotten a chance to eat yet.

Once Tim joined them once again, he didn’t sit, he just placed both of his hands on the back of Maddie’s chair and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, a crooked grin on his lips. “Wanna dance?” 

Lyn choked on her food, making both of them look up and all she did was laugh and hold up two thumbs. Maddie’s stomach dropped and she swallowed slightly, suddenly feeling very nervous. All she did was hum back and stood up, Tim’s hand snaked around her waist as he lead her to the dance floor. 

The light was blue, it felt like a school dance, barely anyone was in the middle dancing although there were a few couples scattered around the sides, gently swaying to the mellow melody of the music, Maddie suddenly felt watched. 

Don't go changing to try and please me

You never let me down before

Don't imagine you're too familiar

And I don't see you anymore

They got to the middle and Tim had a slight flush on his face as he placed his hands on her hips, biting his lip slightly, his usual smugness somehow washed away and now it was just him, vulnerable in front of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck so that their faces were really close to each other and she just watched his eyes as they seemed to scan her face. You always have my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care

Maddie cleared her throat. “Billy Joel, huh? This really is a wedding,” she chuckled awkwardly, Tim’s eyes flashed from hers to her lips and Maddie was looking over that fact, too anxious to think about any unspoken feeling that she may or may not have bottled up over the course of almost twenty years.

I don't want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are

In that moment, Tim’s head ducked down and he kissed her. Maddie was caught back, completely shocked and for a moment she didn’t move. As he slowly pulled away and looked at her with what seemed like fear in his eyes--fear of having ruined something or completely misread the situation--Maddie just watched him for a couple seconds. They didn’t move. Then something came over her, something that had been hiding for so long, something that needed to be let out. With one glance at his lips, she pulled his head back down and reconnected their lips.

Memories flashed in her mind of sleepovers when they were younger and him waking up in the middle of the night sweaty and screaming and she’d have to comfort him and lull him back to sleep, his head on her chest and her hands in his hair, or memories of when she’d wear long sleeves in the summer just so Tim didn’t feel weird about being the only one, because she’d never wanted him to feel embarrassed about his scars or left out. She thought about when he comforted her when her first boyfriend dumped her so Tim took her out for ice cream at two am and talked her down to the point that she fully forgot she’d been dumped.

That was them, they were always there for each other, no matter what, when Tim was down, Maddie lifted him up and same goes for the other way around. Maddie had never really thought about anything else but really, it was there. She loved him, always had and in one way or the other something in her knew this would happen and as much as it came as a shock--it just felt right. Perfect. 

And in that moment, that’s all that she needed. No more overthinking or anything. In that moment, it was just them two. 

No one else.

As the song played, the night went on and it was perfect. 

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew

What will it take till you believe in me

The way that I believe in you?

I said I love you and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

I love you just the way you are

#SORRY THIS WAS SO CHEESY AND CLICHÉ #IM A SUCKER FOR ROMANCE #joe mazzello #joe mazzello au #tim murphy #joseph mazzello #joeymozzarello #sorry again for all the cheese #thanks for reading #hope you enjoy #jurassic park