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biwitchenergyz · 2 months

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When Dragon's Dance

Content Warning: Adult Language, Mentions of Drug Use, and hints towards grooming. I do not own any of the characters or songs used in this story, but I hope you enjoy and if you do, please let me know!

Songs used: I Was Made for Lovin’ You by KISS

Chapter 1: Hypnotized by the Lights

If this car ride lasts any longer you might reach over and strangle Cregan bloody Stark. It wasn’t completely his fault, but you can name a million reasons why he is to blame for this very moment. Cregan is unaware of the threat on his life, instead, he sits happily humming along to a song that plays through the limo speakers. You watch him with disgruntled fascination. Every tap of his thick fingers on the door handle, every swing of his dark curls as they bounce against his shoulder. “Cregan, the next time you want to go out. Make sure it’s not after I've been filming for 10 hours!” You scold him but he doesn't mind. If anything, he has grown to love your attitude, especially when it amuses him. He stops the music with a tap of his phone and smiles at you with all of his pearly teeth on display. “I already said I was sorry, babes! I didn’t know the label was gonna force you to come with me.” In his defense, he did seem guilty about the whole thing. It wasn’t his fault, you remind yourself again, he just wanted to see that stupid band of his and your manager had insisted you come along for publicity.

Being in a publicity stunt relationship wasn’t hard, per se. It was mainly awkward and worst-case scenario, tiring. You have been with Cregan for about three years now and to be honest, he is your best friend. It isn't hard to pretend to love him because you certainly do. It's just the in-love with him part that you can't quite get. “Well let's at least make this worth it. You stay by me at all times and try not to brush me off. If we want this to look like another happy date, I need you to try.” Cregan can be a good actor when he needs to but when he gets caught up in something he starts treating you like an old friend, not a passionate romantic partner. It has been noted by one or two gossip sites, but he has done his best to put those rumors to rest. “Got it. Ok. I’m in love with you and we are here to see my favorite band. No problem.” Cregan waves a hand like he’s a professional but as soon as the driver opens his door he practically flies from his seat, stopping on a second thought, to help you out the car.

It is no red carpet walk but there are a bunch of paparazzi lining the side of the building, snapping photos and shouting questions as you walk hand in hand. “Cregan! Are the Stark Dire Wolves ready to beat the Baratheon Stags at the game this Sunday?” “Over here, Ma’am! When will we be expecting a new season of Maegor’s six wives?” They all fall over each other, fighting like animals for the chance to talk with either of you. From across the street, some people have stopped to record you and to those cameras, you smile and wave. Cregan makes sure you get in the building first before he sighs. “I will never get used to that shit.” He groans, releasing your hand in favor of placing his hand on the small of your back. You laugh a little at his clear frustration. “Come on, Super Bowl champion! You can’t handle a little paparazzi?” He smiles at your teasing, he always does. “Ok, Miss Lights, Camera, Action! Not all of us are used to photoshoots and red carpets.” You could argue that he has done all of those things as well, but you let it drop as he leads you both to the suite he has booked.

It isn’t small by any means, with a whole front row of cushioned seats and a table for catering in the back. There is a sink with about six cabinets above the faucet and it even comes with its own bathroom. The red carpeting looks freshly cleaned and the whole room smells of citrus. “You bought a suite? For one concert?” You ask him as you place your purse on the marble tabletop. Cregan shrugs, seemingly uninterested in discussing it but one raised eyebrow from you and he spills. “My manager booked the suite. He didn’t want us in the actual stands.” That explains it. Cregan's manager, Edward Bolton, is unbelievably strict. Frankly, you think the man is a total ass, but he has control of the Stark Dire wolves' team and with Cregan being their star player, he has full control of him. “This isn't the biggest venue they have played at, right?” You don't know much about the Dancing Dragons all you know is that they mainly play rock music and get into a shit ton of scandals. All the songs you have heard have been great though. “Nah this is just a private show for the Fanclub and anyone who could buy tickets. I saw them play at the Riverland Arena a year or two ago. I swear I thought all of Westeros was there!” He smiles fondly before playfully nudging you to the side so he can get the best seat, right in the center. You sit close to him with his arm around your shoulder, just a little taste for the cameras that may turn to snap photos of you.

While you wait for the concert to begin you scroll through the band’s Wikipedia page. Jacaerys Targaryen, the leader of the group and the bass player, is Cregan’s favorite, and every time he talks about the guy, he gets flushed. Then there’s Lucereys, Jacaerys’s brother who can make the keyboard sound like the coolest instrument known to man. Both of them are Rhaenyra’s sons, you never got the chance to meet them when you and Rhaenyra both worked on the set of Conqueror, but she talked about them often. Then there’s the fan favorite, Daeron, on the drums. He’s the same age as Luke and they both have an adorable charm that makes them the band's most adored members. Daeron is not alone, there are his brothers Aegon and Aemond. They bring a “sex appeal”, as Cregan put it, to the band. They also bring scandals. Aegon is the lead singer with a well-known drug addiction and the electric guitar player, Aemond, just ended things with his questionably older girlfriend, Alys Rivers. “Wait, are they all cousins?” You ask Cregan who frowns at your question. “No, Babes. Jace and Luke are their nephews. They are a family band though. There is lots of lore on that, but we can talk about it later. Here they come!” He squeals the last sentence as he rises in his seat and watches the smoke form on stage with fascinated eyes. Similarly, your eyes find the stage and watch as the smoke rises. With the red lights pointed down, the smoke appears like fire in the foggy red glow. The crowds of people, anonymous in the pitch-black stadium, rise, yelling and chanting the band's name as the curtains part. “King’s Landing! I wanna hear you scream!”

#aemond x reader #aemond one eye #aegon ii targaryen #aegon the second #aegon targaryen x reader #alicent hightower #aemond x you #aegon x reader #aemond the kinslayer #house of the dragon #rhaneyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #helaena targaryen #viserys targaryen

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devondespresso · 10 months

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writing my silly little fic and again im struck with how much opportunities they missed by pretending the s2 stancy breakup wasn't messy, specifically for Nancy's guilt about barb and forcing herself to grow up too fast

like s1 Nancy spends one night being a stupid teenager goofing off at her boyfriend's party and staying over to get spicy while Barb goes home. then she later realizes Barb disappeared and died that one night she was letting go and having fun. this is widely recognized trauma for her and informs a lot if not most of her actions through the rest of the show

in season 2 she's feeling the weight of it more around the first year anniversary. steve trys to help by taking her to a party to forget for a little while and 'be stupid teenagers' for a night. a perfectly set up parallel already

the way the show wants it to go, we get the bullshit argument, they fight, allegedly break up at some point, and nancy sleeps with Jonathan. later steve tells her to go with him and we're supposed to read it as Steve stepping back so jancy can happen. we're supposed to be seeing this as a happy ending.

but with the material we're given this would have been the perfect place for an emotional repeat of season 1 for nancy. she and steve go to the party and pretend to be stupid teenagers for the night. but oh no! nancy lets lose too much, lets herself relax and drink and dance, and the next day her boyfriend's pissed. hes saying she said things she never remembered saying and its hurt him and she doesn't know what to do. and kids around school are talking about them breaking up at the party, and that fits with Steve's anger she saw, so they must've broken up right? it sucks, even if she wasn't in love with him, that'd be the worst way to break up with someone (especially if she's confusing platonic and romantic feelings or convincing herself it has to be romantic when she really just values him as a friend)

and then she doesn't have time to work it out, she needs to go with Jonathan to avenge barbs 'disappearance' to give her family closure. She's got a lot of conspiracy shit to do and its stressful. so when murray starts going off about how she's not really in love with steve, how she actually likes Jonathan and he seems to like her back. they finished a lot of the hard work with the conspiracy stuff, she can let her guard down and have a quick good night.

then the next day is chaos. demodogs and labs and will being possessed. It a rough fucking day. Steve tells her to go with Jonathan while they get the mindflayer out of Will, civil like they're on good terms so she does (and thank god she did because that was rough and they needed all the help they could get)

and then everything's fine again, with the upside down. and it looks like she handled things better this time, was about to relax occasionally and still made it through.

except apparently she and steve didn't break up. he thought it was just a few fights, that they put their shit aside for the apocalypse and now they can work things out.

and it could ruin nancy. a year later and she's still hasn't learned her lesson, that letting her guard down hurts the people she cares about, that relaxing and having fun makes her lose people. its her fault for the messy breakup with Steve and its her fault that barb is gone. she's the reason she's lost friends close to her, 2 for 2, and now she only has Jonathan left (and what do you know, season 3 has her conflict with Jonathan and in season 4 she's not let anyone else get truly close to her and fred still dies)

you see what i mean?? by having conflict magical resolve itself in the background we loose so much powerful, painful character drama for her. our girl who thinks she has to keep the world around her up solely on her shoulders because she can't handle the loss of her best friend in season 1. Nancy who desperately wants to be normal and have people she loves but keeps losing them, through factors both in and out of her control, but feels like everything has to be her fault just because some things were.

and to be fair, that story is still present in the show. its there and definitely compelling, but it could've been even more so. i feel like if maybe there was less 'nancy has to be a strong independent girlboss' in there (abd it's definitely there, they want to make a point of making her a Strong Woman Character so bad) and she was allowed to have mistakes acknowledged by the narrative, this is the direction it would've gone. She could've been an excellent example of well written women who are strong and awesome through their own right instead of the narrative trying to make us like her

#nancy wheeler #stranger things meta #stranger things thoughts #platonic stancy #stranger things #platonic stancy because while this could definitely be used in a jancy breakup then stancy fic #my personal theory is that she thinks she should like him romantically because he sees her like that but she actually likes him as a friend #and the bullshit scene was just the worst way for her to say it because she waited so long and refused to when she was sober #also didn't tag anti-nancy because i don't think it is really? like its anti-canon-depiction-because-i-think-they-did-her-dirty #also this is kinda nancy pov so its not like she's actually at fault for everything but in her mind she blames herself anyway #so yea #the fic is my Steve Henderson AU btw for ppl who've never seen me before #stancys not the focus (its steve pov with the Hendersons being main characters) but i want to do a serious platonic stancy workthrough in i #so this is just my headcanons (technically canon compliant based on what we see on screen but not following the narrative direction y'know)#devon's steve henderson au #steve henderson au rambles #hoping praying to god this doesn't make people angry but if it does feel free to block me i don't mind and i really dont want to argue #no disc horse for me just silly little thoughts and headcanons thanks for understanding #devon thinks sometimes

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unagrancantidaddepanes · 7 months

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ok i wasnt gonna do it i told myself no im just not gonna say anything on this drama but this is so MINDBOGGLING that i HAVE to make a post about this

i am gonna start by saying as someone on the arospectrum i personally see peridot as either fully aroace or arospec (i like headcanoning either one) and as in a qpr or plantonic friendship with lapis.

peridot has been confirmed to be intended to be read as aroace by a storyboard artist (maya peterson) that would focus on her character, i am not denying that,

however

she is also confirmed to be intended to be read as experiencing romantic attraction, by the OTHER storyboard artist who originally worked on peridot, jesse zuke, who has just as much authority to talk about peridots character, if not more since (to my knowledge) she was the original main storyboard artist for peridot

the intention behind what peridot is suppose to represent is fundamentally contradictory, there is absolutely no use fighting over it. this is so dumb to fight over YES both sides have been confirmed canon THATS WHY THIS IS DUMB </33

ive been trying to find as many actual sources as i can (which has been pretty difficult since A LOT has been deleted) but I finally found a transcript of one of jesse zukes posts that is deleted that everyone keeps referencing

from this reddit post https://www.reddit.com/r/stevenuniverse/comments/5q738i/lauren_zuke_speaks_of_her_intention/

(jesse was formerly known as lauren)

anyone posts something shipping peridot, u get a load of comments saying "this is aroace erasure, shes written as aroace, a storyboard artist said so", anyone posts something about peridot being canonically aroace, u get a load of comments saying "shes not canonically aroace, she was written as experiencing romantic attraction, a storyboard artist said so" everyone is either one or the other it seems like NO ONE is acknowledging that both is true and really this confusion is the fault of the crewniverse ????

these storyboard artists BOTH focused heavily on working on peridot and creating her character, and their intentions behind what she is are completely contradicting.

i would love for peridot to be aroace. to me she IS aroace, but im not going to pretend like this isnt the most confusing most unclear way of confirming that. even if maya peterson intended for her to be seen as aroace, jesse zuke wrote her as the complete opposite and it would be stupid of me to ignore that. harassing eachother over this is stupid. your both correct, now shake hands and make peace with eachother lol, good night.

As an arospec person I am completely fine with people shipping peridot and I do not think it is aroace erasure, because while I would love to see an orientation like mine depicted in a character like peridot, im not going to ignore that fact the she was ALSO originally meant to be read as experiencing romantic attraction AND the fact that many of the crewniverse ships peridot with people or supports others doing it. it is not aroace erasure to ship a character that was literally intended to be read as experiencing romantic attraction by some of the people who worked on her character. rebecca god damn sugar, the creator of steven universe has made fanart shipping peridot. peridots voice actor has said she likes and supports people shipping peridot. its just that different people working on the show had wildly different intentions when creating her character, and didnt clear up a solid identity for her with everyone working on her

jesse zuke said in her post "cant speak for anyone else! many people are writing those episodes". just like if maya peterson and anyone else working on peridot intended for her to be read as aroace, other people working on her character with just as much authority were writing her completely differently. people are not seeming to acknowledge that these two things co-exist. it is not one or the other. even though they are complete opposites, somehow theyve made it so that its both at once.

she was simultaneously written to be both aroace and experiencing romantic attraction by different people writing her character, clearly because of miscommunication within the crewniverse.

heres rebecca sugars ship art btw since the first 2 were really hard to find, in case anyone else wanted some sort of actual evidence of it

also just wanted to bring attention to jesse zuke saying "anyone who wants to see the narrative they want is completely, 100% allowed to". peridot and her episodes were written to have multiple interpretations. this was written with multiple intentions. some of those intentions were aroace, some of them, like jesse zukes, were not. you are all correct peace and love

update i found a slightly longer version of jesse zukes post in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=oIl1sEQ4_iI

"I wanted to close the book on this - I am queer, and intend fully to write queer characters when I do"

this is pretty clear confirmation that peridot was fully written with completely different ideas in mind from completely different people. jesse zuke INTENDED for peridot and lapis to be read as having a queer relationship, in this post shes encouraging people to read it that way, meanwhile other writers had other intentions which are just as real and valid.

inconsistency and messy production in steven universe is not a new thing

#tldr she was written as both due to miscommunication in the crewniverse so its silly to fight about it #your all similtaniously correct. peace and love #steven universe #peridot aroace #lapidot #su discourse #steven universe discourse #ik this drama has died down now but i havent seen ANYONE have this take yet so i felt like i had to say something ASHKJASJHKJ its so #obvious that THIS is where the confusion is from #myposts #peridot #su #maya peterson #jesse zuke #amedot

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hanako-san · 4 months

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Akane confirmed my words. Aoi always tries to be nice to nene and comfort her about her worries and help her best like she can. nene is naive, stupid, very trusting and shows her worries, doesn't hide them and also talks about them easily, which could have caused Aoi to allow her to be 'friends' with her, but in reality she is not trusting towards her

ch.96

She doesn't decide to tell her about her hand which her 'best friend' is responsible for. This means that instead of telling her, she hides it from her like her real personality and doesn't tell her anything. Her excuse is that she needs to focus on her own problems. BS. It was her duty to tell her, but of course she can't be responsible for anything in this manga even if she is the one causing trouble with her own wishes and words.

Even if she saved her, so what. Aoi apologized to her, but she didn't apologize to her. The word sorry won't come out of yahsiro's mouth on its own, someone else always has to point her out by showing her that she's behaving badly, but it doesn't change anything when someone reprimands her because she does the same in some chapters. There is no problem, it's true that yahsiro hugged her when she saw her out of happiness. She doesn't feel responsible for anything, even if she knows it's because of her, because as she said, "I didn't do anything wrong" but how can I expect an apology from a person who considers herself innocent of her actions when she knows it is his fault?

Once again, yahsiro's deed justifying by Aoi this time, to confirm to her that she is innocent and needs to focus on herself, this is to give her another pass to show and tell that she is 'innocent' and poorer than Aoi. BS. She should knows this. This also shows that Aoi still doesn't trust her.

yashiro didn't even notice that there was something wrong with her friend's hand. Her first words after seeing and hugging her sounded like this

I could be wrong, yahsiro gives me the vibe that she wouldn't accept the real Aoi, just the nice side of her personality that she always shows. It's just sad how yashiro said that instead of asking or saying "I'm glad you're okay/Are you okay?" these words didn't come to her mind, the only thing that came to her mind was that the Aoi she knew was back. I understand that she is happy Aoi isn't under spell no.6, but when she said this words I have a strange feeling that yashiro wouldn't accept the real her, it gives me this vibe, and even during their conversation, yashiro never once asked if everything was okay with her. She thinks that since she saved Aoi and she looks healthy and as if nothing was wrong with her, it's fine for yashiro.

I also understand that best friends can keep secrets from each other and that's fine, but even if nene's secrets came to light and her strange behavior. Aoi still doesn't trust her and pretends to be nice, not even deciding to tell her about the problem with her hand.

This only shows that there is still the same gap between them and nothing has changed.

I think that both girls like each other, but they are not as close as yashiro claims. yashiro doesn't know her true self and doesn't look like the person to ask about Aoi's problems, which she constantly confirms by focusing only on herself all the time in the manga, but Aoi doesn't trust her either. This trust is still not there in Aoi for yashiro.

In my opinion, their friendship is an illusion. They both have a bond, but this bond is weak. fragile and bond's not strong enough to call them both 'best friends'. I think that Aoi needs to work on herself in terms of trust, because I understand that she has problems with it, I don't expect anything from yashiro anymore because I don't have to do it,I don't have to expect anything from the always innocent yashiro nene, because she will always be justified in some way by the situation or character even if she's the cause of it. I also don't expect Aoi to start trusting her because AidaIro may not change anything.

P.S: I think their friendship, although weak, has potential, but I think AR is wasting it

#toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #aoi akane #yashiro nene #nene yashiro #my jshk analysis #jshk spoilers #When it comes to Hanako and Kou's friendship #I have the same opinion. I'm not motivated by hatred towards Yashiro at this point.

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lastlymatt · 2 months

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You make very good points comparing book and tv Alex, thanks for replying to my ask! I clearly have not reread the books in a while so I should go do that :)

And you are very right about tv!Alex being naive. Yes, I felt he was more mature than book!Alex in the way he presents himself generally, and maybe this is partly due to his appearance on screen vs what I used to envision of book!Alex. But you are right that a lot of his actions and decisions are very naive.

Going to scorpia knowing it's a literal terrorist organization and not only not wanting to kill anyone but not even trying to pretend he's into it so that he could go in undercover? He's lucky Yassen had his back or he'd be so dead.

There were many moments in the show where I did go, 'Alex, come on,' when he was doing something stupid. But maybe I have rose tinted glasses on or expect little, because I love the show enough that I'm like, 'okay they have low budget, I get that they can't film everything, I can look past this plot point/plot armor/lazy writing because I know they don't have the time/budget for everything.' But hey, again, maybe I should have higher expectations anyway haha.

Like having Tom and Kyra somehow so easily show up on Malagosto and do surveillance without getting caught. The department leaving the flash drive in the computer for no reason. Alex getting into Mrs. Jones' apartment so easily, and conveniently having no earpiece so that Yassen couldn't hear what happened?

I spotted all of that and the rest, but let it go. I think I am just so glad we have this show that I'll take what we get 😅

It makes complete sense to assume that TV!Alex is more mature than book!Alex! TV!Alex isn't as sassy as his book counterpart and mostly comes across as calmer and more mature. This might also have something to do with the fact that we don't get to hear Alex's thoughts like we do in the books.

Yes, he is incredibly lucky Yassen had his back; otherwise, I'm not sure what TV!Nile would've done to him (Nile is another character who is very different from his book counterpart, but someone else I believe already talked about that)

Believe me, I utterly adore this show! It made so many improvements on the original material, which is also why I think it's important to point out the parts where it stumbled. Those are also often the bits that generate interesting discussions. But also, those faults can be explained very often with a little suspension of disbelief.

And yeah, I can absolutely see those things as faults, but it's also not very fun when Scorpia has all the cards and knows how to block their plans perfectly. Scorpia needs weaknesses that can be exploited! An all-powerful organisation that makes no mistakes is honestly boring and no fun.

Some of these things make sense if you consider that Scorpia, specifically Julia, feels complacent and overconfident. They managed to make the world believe that they were dead and gone while they continued to work in the shadows. Why would they worry so much about guarding one of their hard-to-reach training facilities against two untrained teenagers?

Also, it's nice to show off that Alex isn't the only one with skills since the TV series so heavily emphasises the importance of friends, family, and teamwork.

I fully agree with you about the flash drive issue. They tried to excuse it later but come on, you should be more paranoid than that!

Alex getting into Mrs Jones' apartment so easily is almost exactly like it went in the book (as far as I remember), so that is on Ahorz. And Alex can have a little competence as a treat before his breakdown 🙃

I honestly hadn't considered the idea of Yassen giving him an earpiece! I think it would've been caught by the metal detector, maybe? But this can also be chalked up to Yassen trusting his boy.

So yeah, it may have its issues, but I also genuinely believe it is one of the better adaptations I've seen in a very long time despite the many changes, and I couldn't be happier with what we got!

#alex rider #ask

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hexhomos · 2 years

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top 5 jay/vik pet peeves? 👀

I let this ask simmer a bit in the back of my inbox because... oh man you guys really want to see me rant like that? Unbelievable. But I'll indulge anyway since I could on about this forever:

#1 the way people straight up delete everything about Jayce as a character, be it talis or giopara, just to turn around and act like he's "leeching off viktor's genius" or "a big stupid dumb idiot who cant grasp simple concepts XD" "brainless idiotic himbo" like… this is so tiring to me. Are you trying to call him braindead? Because that's what it sounds like. I don't find it funny or charming anymore thanks to the sheer density and frequent malice adjacent to this kind of content.

#2 Related to above, but also found on its own, SPECIALLY in arcane fandom bubbles: a fixation on Jayce's body as a sexual object or sexual accessory to other people as his "Only redeeming character trait". It's become so prevalent I don't like browsing content for him anymore. Fans will legitimately make up bullshit reasons as to why Jayce is lesser than other characters (the council, mel, heimerdinger, viktor, vi, whoever, you name it) and then hold up more brainless no personality idiotbad himboXD porn as the only thing his character could ever amount to. Way to go! You're treating this show's singular brown lead as actually subhuman. There truly are no words. And it's not like it's hard to give Jayce an ounce of interesting things to do: most of what people attribute to viktor as sciency and driven and passionate is something that he shares with jayce; sometimes, its straight up things jayce came up with and worked on all his life getting penned as "viktors thing". I just find fandom, for one reason or another, holds a severe disinterest in treating them as equals. And it makes their dynamic worse. (This last point is not exclusive to arcane, sadly.)

#3 Viktor woobification, and an insistence that he could neeeeever do anythiiiiing wroooooong, regardless of verse. It makes him into such an uninteresting non-character. Viktor was created to *BE* the mad scientist archetype; this was his initial concept and it persists to this day, you can't take away his responsibility for his mistakes, or pretend it was Jayce's fault, and still expect him to be a good character. I don't even know what you're stanning at that point. I've had ppl genuinely argue with me that viktor never hurt anyone in game canon and that JAYCE had stolen blitzcrank and its like ????? Do you even know who Stanwick is. Please just read their bios. Both of their bios. Viktor lies to clean up his own story and even before the lore rewrite he was the one who'd initiate violence by Invading Jayce's Lab And Blasting Him With Laserbeams. This guy's ingame kit requires you to kill 100 minions before evolving a weapon prototype. He has an ability called "death ray". You don't think that's funny? Your loss. (Related: a lot of able-bodied people treat viktor's arcane disability as something to patronize him over, and it can be really, really uncomfortable to see.)

#4 this is gonna seem minor compared to above but watching people try and vilify Jayce at every turn to make Viktor or other characters look better can be so unintentionally funny. They never pay attention to anything about his character, just spin a wheel of bad generic adjectives and go: "JAYCE is an out of touch gazillionaire SOCIAL CLIMBER queaking for STATUS who eats diamond dust, shits gold and hates lesbians; he also PISSED on my WIFE," whole time the guy is just minding his business, indentured for life thanks to vampiric 'patrons' making him swear fealty for project funding, canonically stated to have built a name making gadgets for the working class, doesn't even like socializing in Any Universe (and this is the exact thing him and viktor bond over), etc etc etc... this shit is embarrassing brother

#5 unironic googoo talk jaymel or melvik or anything that exists in the middle genuinely makes me roll my eyes. Sometimes I feel as though people watched the bomb scene and then immediately erased out how disrespectful and manipulative it was. I don't care for any of these pairings nor the implication that you have to 'make good with billionaires to reach ultimate peace uwu' that comes attached to most of their content. The TVshow being as centrist and corporate as it is explains why this exists, sure, but I feel so ?????? When I see people acting like viktor and mel would be best buddies, as if she isn't canonically the richest person in Piltover before we even have a timeskip and *Directly Responsible for enabling and profiting off much of the fuckshit going on in Zaun* lol. Where do you think that money came from? Seriously?? Come on. I cannot fathom how people can see Jayce's interactions with her as leading to any sort of positive outcome. They get 0 romantic buildup worth caring for and are boring as all hell. And the next one is less common but: whenever people try to fit her plotline into leagueverse I just, LOL. The ruling Medarda in league is a 70-something manlet white geezer. Jayce giopara is a fag and his entire bio was designed around viktor. The council plays no part in their story and they're far more interesting for it, thank fucking god.

#Hexposts #Jayvik #Arcane #long post

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pplatonic · 7 months

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SHUNRAN BY JOHN IS ABOUT NPD!!!

Hi it’s me I’m back with more absolutely infallible and correct interpretations of Vocaloid songs. Today: Shun-ran/Spring Storm by John! And we’re going to be talking about how I relate it to my narcissism so if you believe in narc abuse or armchair diagnose people with NPD or use narcissist as an insult you can fuck right off <3 And here’s a link to the song in case you haven’t heard it!

I’m not going to waste time on putting together a “story” that I think the song follows because to me it reads more like a character analysis, so I’m just going to start and go line by line. Also shoutout to whoever on narcissisticpdcultureis submitted an ask saying NPD culture is this song, because it made me realize holy fuck yeah it is. Translation I use is by Releska!

“I was covered in false images, just like God.”

Starting off with a fucking bang holy shit? This line alone to me speaks about grandiose fantasies, unreachable dreams of money and success and power and being admired. In the end these dreams become unreachable as they’re either too grandiose to become a reality or I do nothing to actually work towards the dream, so they’re all just false images. I prop myself up to be God, and I compare myself to a god in my fantasies, yet it’s all fake. This line has another meaning when coupled with the rest of its verse however:

“I was covered in false images, just like God.

You youkai give me the creeps

pretending to know how I really feel.”

To me, now this line is just in general pretending to be something you aren’t. I imagine ‘youkai’ is a way to refer to other people and dehumanize them / paint them as ‘lesser.’ Often I catch myself insisting people are just misunderstanding my words, that they are trying to see how I ‘really feel,’ but I’m covered in layers and layers of false images—so they can’t reach how I really feel. Regardless of if their interpretation is right or not, I use this excuse to avoid analyzing myself and my faults, and to paint the other person as bad—as giving me the creeps, as being weird about me. I’m untouchable, like a god, so others can’t know what I really feel.

“Even if I grasped something and used it to destroy the illusion

and cool my feelings, it would be sheer stupidity.

I won’t pay attention to small fry.”

The illusion here is likened to both interpretations of false images (grandiose fantasies and pretending to be what you’re not). ‘Grasped something’ speaks to me about how it’s near unimaginable to end up destroying the illusion, so you can’t even say what you’d be destroying it with. And it would be ‘sheer stupidity’ because these illusions hold up my self-esteem, the image that I am God. The last line is pretty direct: painting others as lesser so you don’t have to pay attention to them or take their criticism.

“For one such as I, affecting composure, to speak

is because I become angry easily, watching hawk-like for my chance.”

The egotism in the first line is so hard that I don’t think I even have to explain it. More the focus here is on the second line, saying that the reason the narrator speaks is because they become angry easily. The second part of that line speaks to me about watching for a chance to prop your ego up once again, whether that be through receiving praise or bragging or whatever. And it makes you become angry easily, because as soon as you don’t get what you want, it’s like you blow up with a snap of the fingers.

“I summoned the spring storm and then cried. My heart was wounded.

‘That’s a sign of vanity, you know?’

Whatever you say. I already get it, though.”

Spring is a beautiful season: it’s when everything starts to grow back and life starts anew. So a storm in spring sets up a contradictory image. To me this describes a love-hate relationship with people, where other people are the amazing things which make you feel so good about yourself by admiring people, yet they are the same things which cause you to crash and hate yourself. ‘The spring storm’ in this song is like getting backlash from people for your toxic behavior, and your heart ends up wounded because this time they’re right and you can’t cover yourself up in false images and illusions anymore. But you shrug off their words about your vanity, because of course, you already get it, because of course you would already get it.

“My breaths will surely grow smoky and appear on the things blocking my view.

They say that praying to be loved

is a sin. It has such a sweet scent.”

There are already obstacles blocking your view, but I interpret this first line as your own breath coming to block your view as well. There’s already a heavy bit of something blocking a healthy view of the world, but you end up sabotaging yourself as well. The last two lines are pretty clear-cut: praying to be loved excessively may be bad, but it’s so alluring to the narrator that they can’t help it.

“Once we drink up the rippling cider, let’s say goodbye.”

‘Rippling cider’ is a pretty vivid, inviting image, and to me this line speaks about enjoying one last moment with someone before you say goodbye to them forever—as the line in Japanese uses ‘sayonara.’

“My thoughts have dried up. Where’s God in that?

My rage and other such things vanished long ago

but though I perform my act, I’m ignorant.”

Since this is after the chorus, ‘dried-up thoughts’ here is likely referencing the beginning of the song, so the grandiose fantasies here have ‘dried up’ or become boring/useless. Yet still, the narrator is trying to prop themselves up to an image of God, but they just can’t find it. Earlier in the song the narrator expresses becoming angry easily, but now things like their rage have vanished. They still keep up their egotistical act however, they keep up their mask, but on the inside they’re ignorant—to me this signals that things like their rage are still around, just that they’re now ignorant to the concept.

“Still, this story is still going

because I wish for it to reach you,

listening constantly.”

Simple as: the narrator wants to be understood deep down, so they keep going.

“I pledged a ceasefire. My personality peeled off and fell

because I have the courage to accept disappointment.”

Pledging a ceasefire here to me is to ask for the toxicity to end, for things to become good again, but it doesn’t happen as the narrator becomes disappointed that it doesn’t stop. Before in the first pre chorus the idea was expressed that we blow up when we don’t get what we want, but here the narrator surrenders to the idea that this toxicity will be going on forever. They don’t blow up at this despite it being contradictory to their narcissism, so it’s like their personality has peeled off.

(then the chorus repeats twice)

“I summoned you on purpose. I died—my heart rotted to nothing.

‘That’s a sign of vanity, you know?’

Whatever you say. I already get it, though.”

Now the conflict becomes directly confrontational: they’re not summoning a backlash from the people they love anymore, they’re just directly summoning a person. They’re now acknowledging the person that has been causing the ‘spring storm’ all along. But this directness inflames the fear of failing and rejection and disappointment to the point where the narrator feels like they die. And once again, it’s a sign of vanity, but the narrator already understands this.

“I called you an idiot. Like smoke, you made me uncomfortable. I looked at you and woke up.”

They say that praying to be loved

is a sin. It has such a sweet scent.”

In the toxicity occurring between the narrator and this other person, the narrator tries to attack the other person, but they can’t hold up their egotistical better-than-everyone image anymore with the direct confrontation between themselves and the other person. They become uncomfortable as they are forced to face themselves, and they wake up. Once again it repeats that the narrator is nearly addicted to the love and praise that others give them, but this time with the context of the first line it’s a more bittersweet image.

“Once we drink up the rippling cider, let’s say goodbye.

We’ll say goodbye and if we fall in love again, let’s smile together.”

The image of saying goodbye after one final good moment repeats. The final line ends with the narrator accepting the end of the relationship, saying that if the love ever comes back in the future they’ll enjoy their time together again. It’s almost a call for help, a call for the good to come back to the relationship, but it’s already over.

Anyway this song will forever be about NPD and the toxic interpersonal struggles that come with it, thank you and goodbye

#vocaloid #plat rambles #vocaloid analysis #vocaloid song #shunran #spring storm #shun ran #npd #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic #I actually am in a relationship Right Fuckign Now that this song reminds me of #which is not a good thing #but i'm going to send it to them so we can bond over it and they can understand my psyche more

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skeletonsarecuties · 1 year

Text

Am I Doing It Wrong?

An end to my first DnD character, Roth. (as far as i know, the DM's crafty and who knows what she has in the works)

but this is roughly how i imagined her story to end haha

The fog is cool and damp, as it should be. The same as it was when she met him the first time, seeking solace in the comfort of being hidden by its cover when he found her and sapped away her negative emotions, nearly killing her in the process. She stands there again now, the familiar shaking and tightness in her chest but this time far heavier, not the tense ball of energy it usually is. She stares into the fog and knows he’s there, even before his silhouette appears, features still obscured by the fog as he stands a few feet in front of her.

“Am I doing it wrong?”

“What? Pretending you can act like a person? Or playing in this old BnB?” His words sting, but she’s here for answers from the one person who might be able to give them.

“You’re a being of negativity, am I being… upset wrong?” Using a stronger word than upset feels wrong. Like it’s not allowed, she’s not supposed to describe herself as feeling anything stronger than that.

“Are you really asking me for emotional support? What, do you want comfort.”

Her voice rips from her throat, “Am I doing it wrong?”

A beat of silence, curiosity wins out, after all, with this much negativity, he might as well get a good meal out of whatever this one is on about. “Explain.”

She takes a deep breath. The tears, the shaking, they’re already building up and she does all she can to control herself and the ball of stress sitting in her chest that’s ready to snap like a rubber band. She needs to at least last long enough to ask her question properly. “Being upset, being not okay. When everyone else is upset, they shutdown, they get quiet, or yell, or cry, and they get comfort. They get understanding and people wanting to help them and worrying over them. When I-,“ her voice breaks before she collects herself again, a humourless chuckle fights its way out. She bites the rest of it back, “when I’m not okay I get shaky, I laugh and shake and smile and talk too much and too fast, saying stupid things I wish I wouldn’t say and I get laughed at. I get looked at like entertainment.” the image of Cash and his amused look by the pool flashes in her mind, “It’s suffocating, like I’m banging on a glass wall and no one can hear me, they just laugh at my funny faces.” It’s hard to tell where the disdain in her voice is directed. Them for not understanding, herself for not being understandable to them?

Roth takes a deep breath, tears trailing, fighting so hard not to go into her panic state, she needs to be taken seriously right now, she can’t make herself into a joke. Again “Is it my fault? I’m not upset in a way they can understand so I just deserve to be laughed at? Am I doing it wrong?”

She can’t see his face through the fog, only hear his deep voice practically shake the ground as he chuckles, as it surrounds her or maybe it’s his odd black limbs weaving through the earth again. He continues to laugh as he decides on the best thing to say to drag out this meal of negativity before him. Despite the coldness leeching through her limbs, waiting for his answer, she really does feel a bit better. It’s nice to be able to say all this, to vent in some way. And really, who better to ask, to go to for this than the self-proclaimed king of negativity? At least with him, in this fog, she didn’t have to face that look everyone else gave her. Looking at her like some oddity, something not quite right and funny to see react under stress. Meant to be set aside when it’s no longer entertaining. It’s cold but for the first time in a long time, that tangled ball in her chest is quiet.

#oc #dnd #roth #writing #when the clown doesnt want to feel like a joke ahahahaha #bnb

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inkedmyths · 1 year

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S1: E9 "Home"

Alright its been almost a month time to stop procrastinating this

Ohhh ~crunchy~ video quality

Oh a classic monster in the closet situation

Surprised the lady didn't get like dragged in right then and there

Its wild bc obviously in real life there's never anything in the closet but this is Supernatural in which case ofc there's something

Its not rats! Its something worse!

THE CHAIR. ITS MOVING. RUN KID

WAIT WINCHESTERS

H U H

0oh Sam and his ~prophetic dreams~

Me when someone's trying to talk to me as I'm drawing

Sam I feel like you should just say you're having spooky dreams

THERE we go

Dean did not sign up for his little brother being a psychic

Dean shut up its road trip back home time. Bitch.

THE CAMERA. THE MUSIC. THE DRAMA. This is so funny SPN is a soap opera actually

[ Crepe says that no one can handle Sam's bs in a calm and controlled manner. My opinion is no one can handle any of the Winchester's bullshit in a calm and controlled manner. ]

Awkward but I mean ok

Waiting for the kid to say "There's something in the closet"

YEP

Bros just yelling at each other bc they are so normal about this

Dean is so so bad with his feelings huh

[ Kayla asks if I am just realizing this. I am not. I was merely repeating a statement of observation. It seemed relevant. ]

Walks away bc he didn't want Sam to see him showing an emotion

NOT THE FUCKING CYMBALS MONKEY

NOOOOO

NO DONT STICK YOUR HAND

Oh I am not watching the screen no thank you

[ Kayla finds this reaction funny because "We've all been there". This is fair. And I know the man is just trying to do his job. However, he is, unfortunately, in an episode of Supernatural. If you are a random background character in an episode of Supernatural, you should never stick your hand in a thing that has many sharp blades. ]

I know where this is going to go

YEP EURGH arm smoothie

DUMBASSES THEY'RE PRETENDING TO BE COPS INVESTIGATING THEIR OWN DISAPPEARANCE

I feel like they would get farther is they just walked up to people and said WE'RE SAM AND DEAN

[ Melon says that we should play a drinking game, in which every time Sam and Dean do something stupid, you take a sip of a drink. Forst of all, I am still a year away from being able to consume alcohol legally. Second of all, this sounds like a surefire way to get alcohol poisoning. ]

Oh ofc. Psychic time.

"Your wife if crazy about you!" Turns around "His wife is banging the gardener" Incredible

LMAO CALLING DEAN A GOOFY LOOKIN KID

Oh shes good. Interesting

Sam as she's yelling at Dean is just :D

This poor lady its not her fault that the guy got blended

Yes something is starting. A TV show

UH OH

Is it giving the kid juice. Whats the deal

Oh its shutting him in the FRIDGE

UH OH

THE FRIDGE

MA'AM BEHIND YOU THE FRIDGE

OPEN THE FRIDGE

Thank god

NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

She's so much smarter than either of the bros

I have a sneaking suspicion the firey spirit is their mom or something

[ It is at this point that Crepe has no concept of how not to spoil an Ep and says I'm right. I figured, the plot beats seemed obvious, but come ON. The less you spoil the funnier my reactions will be. Let me enjoy my incredible powers of prediction in due time. ]

Oop there goes the lamp

Uh oh there is attenpted murder via flying objects

WOAH

Flashy light

MISSOURI MA'AM ARE YOY OKAY

Oh good

Holy cow that was something

SORRY ABOUT YOUR HOUSE THE GHOST DID NOT LIKE US

GET THE MOP AND DONT CUSS AT ME

There's like 10 minutes left what's gonna happen next

SHAKING

Is Sam outside oh yep there's the bros

go go go

FLAMING FIGURE

Oh bye bye Sam

DOOR SHUT how drama

Oh hes just getting punted

OH HI

Ur not on fire anymore whats up

Ghost fight! Ghost fight!

Oh yeah tragic sacrifice all that Sam buddy she was already dead

Alright so Sam is on some kind of bizarre spooky journey

AHA. THE BASTARD

YOU. MOTHERFUCKER

OLD MAN WINCHESTER WHATS YOUR FUCKING ANGLE

[ Episode ends. Crepe said it would be funnier if I added in the other's commentary. Kayla agreed. I hope this appeases you both. ]

#on the highway to superhell #sam is psychic or something. good for him! or sucks for him. whichever #obviously there's stuff to be said about the hypercompetent black lady trope but i do like missouri #john winchester looks like someone dragged him out of a dumpster

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slowbrunette-archived · 10 months

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You can't be a stan of Billy and Nancy at the same time! lol are you crazy or what? you're supporting classism, ableism, homphobia and white feminism by deffending Nancy.

shit, not this again 😂🤦🏻‍♀️..

i can because is fiction and i chose to be an apologist for both in equal ways if i fucking please. also, embarrassingly funny of you to assume nancy is all those things when you are basing all your opinions on her in your own bias, rather than using the empathy you'd surely lay on your fave male characters like steve, jonathan or eddie for example.

steve has a right to have a shred of nuance, humanity and the 'poor innocent little nice guy' treatment just because he said sorry to every person he hurt with his actions and has a gay best friend. that's apparently enough to pat him in the back.

however, god forbid a teenage girl for calling her boyfriend an idiot while helping him with school in spite of said boyfriend clearly taking it as a joke, struggling with her best friend's death that everybody, yes including steve, failed to listen to her about, getting drunk in the middle of her suvivor's guilt trauma, mixed emotions about two guys, using bad coping skills that affected her communication towards both and poorly misshandling a break-up, that um, she was so in her right to do after no longer taking how steve was not even trying to understand the grief she she was processing and him still wanting them to live in their own shallow bubble, act like stupid teenagers and pretend everything's perfect like nothing happened.

if i had a boyfriend who allowed his idiotic friends to degrade me and try hard to errase my grief over serious shit, hell i'd call him bullshit too sober or not! i don't care if that makes me a bitch.

my bad for thinking steve calling jonathan with the f word, using vile insults against him, his mother and missing brother. him allowing tommy and carol to make 'nancy the sl*t wheeler' spray paint bully antic happen, him being creepy at nancy on insisting to breed her in S4 knowing she's with jonathan, apparently all that are all tolerable since he apologized, wohoo nice guy uwu steve innocent!!!

god forbid nancy for asking barb to go with her at steve's party since she didn't want to be left alone with him and his other two best friends, that made it clear from day one, that hated her so bad. god forbid nancy for trying different things or social groups her age when the chance was given. don't even try to come for me saying i'm against barb not agreeing with her choices, as much as i also relate to her here, barb's attitude towards nance could also be critical because she seems very bitter that her best friend is hanging around with popular kids while she couldn't fit. that, along with her being swallowed by the monster wasn't nancy's fault either.

god forbid nancy not understanding jonathan's struggles and using the oliver twist as a sarcasm reference in S3 while he, aka the same exact creepy ass fucker who took pictures of her naked without her conscent in S1, neither understands her when she got all kinds of sexist and degrading harassment from older co workers. no, she must he the only wrong one and her situation must be downplayed at all cost because its her, she's not poor and because she hasn't gone through any consequences, which by the way, y'all are getting weirder everyday on wanting her to go through hell and be punished as if she was an adult, a sociopath or k*ren. y'all are getting fucking weirder each day by diagnosing her as a narcissist, an abuser, an ableist and a republican that hates gays just because her parents are reaganites.

it all must be her fault or else i support the duffers making her a girlboss who can't make mistakes yada yada andallthatjazzshit, i MUST see her as an abuser or else i support real life toxic women.

god forbid nancy for existing on the show and messing up i guess 🙄, regardless that the duffers don't know how to write her either, for making mistakes when said male characters have done much and lower worse stuff, but they get a pat in the back bc y'all buy their so called redemption cheap ass atempts, y'all are about talking shit about the duffers for how they've treated your faves and at the same time y'all cherry pick what is convenient to you lmfao

you morons keep bitching every day about antis when y'all also participate in their agenda by trying this hard to dictate others who to stan or how to stan them, class act!, bravo! 🤡🤡🤡

do yourself a solid, if you're on billy tumblr and you're gonna loathe nancy basing your takes on your own judgement go ahead, but don't go around with this hollier-than-thou god complex on fans from the same niche that chose to stan or at least give her some empathy.

here are some facts to make you much more pressed:

S1, S2 and S4 canon steve was bullshit

nancy didn't kill barb

nancy did nothing wrong S1 and S2

hating on stancy, jancy, ronance, eddancy, wheelgrove just because of her does not make you edgy or interesting.

suck some ass, fuck off and choke. go take your air quality of critical thinking somewhere else.

#nancy wheeler antis dni #billy hargrove antis dni #ask #cheri answers #anonynous #billy hargrove antis DO NOT REBLOG/INTERACT #nancy wheeler deserves better #anti steve harrington

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rainecloud020604 · 2 years

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Can you tell me about Karma I saw you uploading images to (??? pronouns??) toyhouse and I'm very curious

you cant see me shaking with excitement and also i let this sit for a few days cause i havent touched my laptop since thursday SDFHKHFKJWFHDSJ anyways this is about to be a lot you asked for it

Anyways <333 Karma my beloved (pronouns, he/him doesnt care about gender and is probably agender thinking about it) hes another one of my comfort characters who every once in a while i will just draw and draw and draw, I also have drawn a few comics with him which I'm kinda surprised that I have done more than one dfhskjFDHSKJ but nevertheless hes fun to draw and like also one of my many greyscale ocs cause if you cant tell i really like those Hes a god, of what? Balance and Revenge. He doesn't like being a god, its so much responsibility and also the way people will treat him for being so powerful isn't ideal to him. he prefers to play amongst mortals and interact with them, pretend to be one and blend in with them even because he just really hates being a god :( Also he is Jardins twin and Universos uncle

He is an old god, which makes the pressure he feels significantly worse as he has seen so much change and dissolve, build and be destroyed. Including the godly realm he is from, most of the people that worshiped their gods ended up just...stopping, stopping or were wiped out and this made a good portion of the gods from their realm forget what they were, several reincarnated themselves out of boredom (A rather common practice in fact, Karma is an older god due to only doing so once) and it ended up falling into chaos, and as well as several mortal faults at some point some order was established but it had fallen to severe corruption, someone did rise to power several times once this weird system was established, the one that had the most power was supposed to be in charge and head of things, every once and a while it would cycle on who was there/old enough

Karma is a rather powerful god, never took as head cause he believed the entire thing was stupid but after a while with Vida became in power he reluctantly agreed to take a position as like his right hand man, only because he his brother and a handful of others were plotting something to help everyone realize and remember what they were and get things back to normal and not this fucked up mess of things and upon taking this position it led to a lot of abuse that Karma just, tolerated and didnt argue or fight against at all because he really couldnt risk it with how close he had gotten to get this plan executed and have this all be over.

Karma used to have a wife when he was younger, she was the goddess of winter and also suicide, which should hint to one thing that happens next, she didnt warn Karma at all, hell she didnt expect him to be there to witness it either but he was, Inverno was no longer there and Karma was alone in the woods with more than a broken heart and grief to carry, is he over it? no no he isnt but hes getting there slowly

He has a fear of sewing needles due to Vida, as well as most of his will to fight back against being abused was burned out, as if enough wasnt killed by his abusive father who favored him over his brother and wasnt shy about it and led to Karma trying everything to get him to hate him. It didn't work at all which led to frustration but he no longer is able to be near his father or think about him for too long without getting upset or stressed out. Other than his father using him like a tool to just brag about, Vida treated Karma like a puppet and would literally have strings attached to him only he could see and feel,which sucked for karma. But he let Vida do it just to get close enough for thousands of years to one day kill him, which he finally was able to do.

He adopted a baby angel named Winter who he will protect with everything in his being, shes a delightful child who he rescued from being kidnapped and she is a handful but makes his day brighter, he takes care of Winter and roams the mortal realm just getting to know mortals and befriending them as well as enjoying what small things there are there and the mortal realm has to offer him, he likes dresses and the color yellow which i associate with him, he also plays the guitar and violin <3

there is so much more but i will stop here SDHFKJWHFJHDFSKJ

#asks #mutuals #karma #woagh oc lore hgrkjeFHDKJ theres so much

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wildernessuntothemselves · 3 years

Text

I'm Yours, You're Mine | 7

Word Count: 4k

Genre: Smut, angst

Warnings: yandere!felix, sub!felix, dom!felix, sub!reader, dom!reader, mentions of violence, character death, drugging, noncon, breeding kink, binding, doggy

GIF CREDIT @christopherbanq

You wake up in a warm embrace, surrounded by the sweet, vanilla scent of Felix. Opening your eyes, you’re met with the splatter of his freckles that seem to glow under the sunlight. Everything feels perfect. It feels right, and you wish you could stay in this moment forever, protected from all that has happened or will happen. But you can’t, the memories of last night’s darkness creep around the corners of the brightly lit room, seeping the warmth out of it until everything is plunged into darkness.

Felix opens his eyes, his bright sparkling eyes, unaware of the darkness surrounding him, his ignorance protecting him. But his light diminishes as his gaze focuses on you.

“Noona, why are you crying?” He asks, arms pulling you even closer to him to the point where you don’t know where your skin ends and his begins.

“Chan…” You sputter, little sobs rattling your chest now. Felix frowns sharply, “Did he do something to you?”

You shake your head, your tears now flowing down your cheeks. “He’s in the hospital. Someone attacked us while we were coming back from the cinema yesterday.”

Felix bolts upright, pushing you at an arm’s length and scrutinizing every inch of your body. “Are you hurt?”

“No, but Chan is.” You wail, throwing your arms around him and burying your face in his shoulder. “He’s hurt really bad.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” For the first time, Felix doesn’t comfort you, his body rigid in your embrace and you hesitantly pull back to look at him. He is completely still, a numb look on his face. And you suddenly realize how thoughtless you’ve been. Despite their fight, Felix and Chan have been best friends for years, way before you met either of them. You should’ve told him as soon as it happened.

“Is he going to be okay?” His lips quiver as he speaks, his eyes terrified and looking through yours for help, and you could smack yourself for being so selfish.

“Oh, baby.” You breathe, pulling him into your embrace again. “I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

_______________________

He wasn’t.

Chan hasn’t woken up by the time you both visit him in the hospital, and the doctors were giving you vague responses every time you tried to ask about his condition--if he’s going to be okay, if he’s even gonna make it--and that petrifies you.

“We’re doing the best we can, but I can’t say anything for certain. He’s in a really bad condition.” The doctor informs you after you’d asked for the millionth time. You nod heavily and he lets you know that he’ll be there if there is anything else you need before he leaves. Yeah, right. The doctors were basically running from you at this point. You weren’t stupid. You knew what it meant.

“Thank you, doctor.” You mumble. You feel guilty, like this is all your fault for wishing for Felix to come back, like somehow this had been a bargain by a cruel god, giving you Felix back but taking Chan away.

As soon as the doctor leaves, Felix falls to the floor beside the bed sobbing. You run to him and wrap your arms around him and he immediately leans into your touch. “I did this.” He wails and your body goes stiff, your breath stuck in your throat, choking you.

But then he continues, “I wished for this the night he threw me out. I was so angry at him, but I never wanted it to really happen.”

Your body turns to jelly, the fear that had gripped it was so intense that it left no energy in its wake, and you can’t even caress Felix’s back to comfort him.

_______________________

The police interview you over and over, asking you to remember if there is something about the man who mugged you that you’re forgetting that could help identify him. You don’t have to force yourself to remember, you see him in your dreams every night, and every night you wake up screaming, poor Felix having to comfort you and kiss you back to sleep, never once complaining.

Through it all, those few agonizing days, you held a terrible secret close to your chest. You felt wretched just thinking about it, but you couldn’t help it. You knew he was going to die anyway. You just wished it would happen sooner than later so you could properly grieve instead of being stuck in this fake limbo, pretending like you think he’s going to make it, even to Felix, so that he wouldn’t completely break down.

You go to visit him less and less until you stop completely, which doesn’t paint you in a very favorable light in front of law enforcement or the doctors, letting Felix go on his own to the hospital every day. But fuck them. What do they know about the pain you’re going through? The guilt?

When it finally happens, you can’t believe it. They say he coded in the night and they tried to do everything to save him, even brought him back a couple of times, but it was ultimately useless. He was gone.

You had to see him for yourself to believe it. You went alone. Felix couldn’t bear to look at his best friend’s now dead body. He begged you not to go but you needed to.

As you gaze across his face, you’re thrust back to that night. You had heard that dead people often have a peaceful look on their face, but Chan didn’t look peaceful. It almost looks angry, accusatory, asking you why you weren’t there for him.

He doesn’t forgive you, but it’s okay. You don’t forgive yourself either.

_______________

The case officially turned into a murder investigation following Chan’s death. His body was handed over to the coroner to do an autopsy and try to gather any forensic evidence left, but neither yielded much information, and the police had no leads.

Soon, the case turned cold.

As for you, you had moved in with Felix,, unable to step back into your apartment without Chan. Fearing that in doing so you’d be acknowledging that he’s gone, and then his spirit would remember to come back to haunt you.

Felix takes such good care of you, even though he’s the one who has the right to be hurt more. He stuck around you all the time, making you feel safe and comforting you. He also kept his distance as much as he could. You could tell he wanted to seek comfort in your body, to help each other through this pain, but you were selfish as always. You only let him comfort you. You never comforted him back.

As the months passed, Felix started getting more and more needy, making you feel even more wretched even though he never said anything. He loved you and you loved him, but Chan’s death had pushed a wedge between you. You couldn’t touch the younger boy without feeling guilty. It felt like you were cheating on Chan more than you ever did before, and so you kept Felix at a distance.

For his part, Felix never outright made an advance on you, respecting your need to grieve, but you could tell from the boner he’d get every time you kissed him even a sweet innocent little kiss or put your arms around him that he needed more, and it made you feel even more horrible. You couldn’t help Chan when he was alive and now you can’t help Felix. You felt like the most selfish fucking human being in the world.

So when you’re woken up from sleep one night, feeling hot and with something hard poking against your ass, you decide to finally give back.

“Noona...” Felix whimpers into your ear, nuzzling his face in the nape of your neck, making goosebumps erupt along your body. You weren’t ready to go all the way yet but at least you could give him some release.

Turning on your back, you guide him to straddle you and let yourself slip into the right headspace. "You dirty little thing, humping your noona in her sleep?"

His eyes light up when he realizes that for the first time in a long time, you’re reciprocating, and he sighs in relief, starting to grind his hips against yours. Tantalizing, you lower the straps of your nightgown, a delicate pink satin piece that Felix bought for you, to expose your tits for him. He hums appreciatively, reaching out to touch, but you slap his hand away. “Only look.”

He shudders, nodding, and humps against you faster. "Noona, please, fuck me. Fuck your dumb baby."

"No whining." You reprimand, lifting his shirt up to his mouth and he obediently bites on it, muffling his noises. With the shirt up, his boxers are exposed, and you watch as every time he thrusts forward, the tip of his dick pokes out from his boxers, red and leaking. “And I thought you’d thank me for being so nice to a pervert like you.”

Felix pants around the fabric in his mouth, his dick dripping over your panties. Placing your hand on his ass, you feel the muscle clench and relax as he ruts desperately against you. “Is this how you wanna fuck noona? You think your little dick can make me feel good?”

He pushes the shirt out of his mouth with his tongue and babbles. “I can noona. Just let me put it inside.” He grabs his dick and runs the head of it over your clothed slit, making you shiver at the stimulation. Then he pushes the head against your hole but is prevented from pushing in because of the underwear “Just let me put it in, noona.”

“You’re a greedy little kitten aren’t you? Put your hands up to your chest, kitty.” You order, and he reluctantly obeys. “Now stick your tongue out and pant for me.”

He does so with a flush, looking like a cat in heat. Absolutely filthy.

“That’s it. That’s a good, boy. Putting on a show for noona.”

He nods happily, high off the praise you’re giving him. "I'm gonna cum for you noona. Watch me cum for you."

“I’m looking, little whore. Cum for me.” You purr, cupping handfuls of his ass as you encourage his now sloppy thrusts.

Felix cries out, cum spurting out of the tip of his cock and landing on your pretty silk nightgown. You tut disappointedly, “Look at the mess you made, kitten. You ruined my nightgown with your filthy cum.”

“I’m sorry, noona.” Felix pants, not looking sorry at all. In fact, he looks enraptured by the sight in front of him. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

He falls over your chest, suckling on your breasts gently as his breathing slows down and becomes deep as he falls asleep.

_____________________

That’s how things go for a long while. Just you helping Felix take the edge off without actually going all the way. You can tell he’s disappointed. He must’ve thought that this was the start of you reigniting your relationship, but you still can’t get yourself to be there for him in the way he needs you. And despite you acting romantically together and going on dates, you never officially acknowledged that you are in a relationship, and you can tell that this, more than anything, hurt him the most.

You feel pity and self-hate fill you up as you play with the boy’s hair, his head resting on your lap.

“How do you like the cocktail?” Felix asks lazily, taking you out of your thoughts.

You blink and take another sip of the drink he made you, appreciating the taste on your tongue. It’s actually pretty good, and you tell him exactly that. “But it seems quite strong. I’m a little lightheaded already. What’s in it, kitten?”

Felix giggles as he presses a finger to his mouth, making a shushing sound. “It's a secret.”

You smile fondly at him, soaking up his laughter along with the afternoon son, the calming rhythm of lix's breathing and the strong drink making you feel sleepy. You decide you’re gonna ask him if he’d like to take a nap with you, but before you can form your words, you abruptly get much sleepier, your eyelids turning to lead as they struggle to stay open to the world spinning around you.

You finally manage a little groan, attracting Felix’s attention. He looks up at you in question and his curious eyes are the last thing you see before it all goes black

_____________________

You wake up feeling hot and sticky. Groggily coming to, you blurrily see a mop of blonde hair over your exposed chest and feel wetness over your nipples. Despite your heavy head, you can immediately tell it’s Felix, and your thoughts trudge along as you try to think of what you were doing last but the memory is too fuzzy.

You’re easily distracted when you feel his moans against your skin as he kisses and suckles on your breasts, his hips dragging over your thigh needily. You try to move your hands to push him away, confused and mad that he is touching you without permission, but you only hear the sound of metal clanking as your hands stay above your head, and with a panic, you realize that you were shackled to the bed.

At the sound, Felix lifts his head up and smiles at you sweetly, as if nothing about this was weird. “Noona, you’re awake!”

You stare at him in bewilderment, and he finally realizes what’s wrong. Sheepishly, he explains, “I’m sorry. You were taking so long to wake up and I couldn’t help myself.”

His words don’t really make the situation much clearer. "What is happening? Why am I bound?"

He smiles, moving up your body so his nose is touching yours. "You've been bad noona, rejecting me for so long. I tried to wait. I tried to be good for you but you still kept rejecting me. So I decided to push things along a little."

"What?" You ask, throat dry.

"I put a sedative in your drink so you'd pass out and I can play with you." He explains cheerily, like that was a completely normal and benign thing to do.

"What the fuck, Felix?” You shout, pulling on your shackles in alarm. “You're crazy."

"Crazy over you." He giggles, pinning your hands to the bed so you wouldn’t struggle. “Now stop or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“You’re the one who is hurting me!”

He frowns. “Don’t say that, noona. I’ve been taking good care of you, haven’t I?”

“And you think that gives you the right to drug and assault me?”

His frown deepens at that, all air of playfulness gone from around him. “Stop. Saying. That.” He grits, “I can’t assault you when you’re mine.”

He leans back and palms at your breasts greedily, his thumbs brushing over your wet buds, and you struggle to not arch up into his touch, a fresh wave of arousal sticking your shorts to your pussy even more. “You’re so perfect, noona.”

"Let me go." You cry, gradually getting more and more panicked.

"I'll never let you go again." His voice is gruff and it sends a shiver down your spine as he rubs his fingers over your clit coarsely. “So stop this or you’ll make me really angry, noona.”

You still immediately, thinking back on what he did last time he got mad. You could still feel the suffocation gripping your throat.

“If you’re wet, noona. I’ll know you want me too.” He pulls back from your chest and slowly peels your shorts down your legs, a gasp escaping him when he is undoubtedly greeted by your underwear sticking to your slick, puffy lips in arousal. “I knew it. Fuck, you’re so sexy.”

He grabs the top of your panties, pulling them up so they’d rub over your pussy, teasing you and delighting in watching you involuntarily squirm. “You’re so sensitive, noona.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.” He slinks your panties down your legs then pulls your thighs up, spreading your legs wide for him, and moaning out in appreciation. “Ah, fuck, noona…so hot.”

His fingers slowly rub over your exposed, drenched pussy, driving you crazy with the deliberate, wide strokes. You have to fight hard to not close your legs around him. “Want more, noona?”

You bite down on your tongue. You won’t give him the satisfaction of admitting it out loud. Resolutely, his fingers trail down your pussy and into your warm, tight heat, and you can’t fight back the gasp that is ripped from you. You shake as his fingers ever so slowly pump in and out of you. And when he puts his mouth on you, your moans flow out, not caring anything for your ego.

Felix moans into your pussy, eating you out slowly too, maddening slow as if he was kissing you. The wet sounds of his lips and tongue on you make you burn in shame and arousal.

He stays between your legs a long time, driving you mad, his tongue deliberately moving along your folds and and his lips sucking on your sensitive skin, while his fingers stay inside your pussy and relentlessly but equally as slowly rub against that sweet spot inside you. You feel the burn gradually build in your body, it fries your brain and by the time you cum, your entire nervous system is on fire.

He climbs up your body, looking down at you with the most fucked out look on his pretty face, his eyes absolutely glazed over with lust as he bucks his crotch against you and kisses your mouth the same way he did your pussy. You taste yourself on him so clearly it feels like the taste is imprinted on his tongue forever.

Pulling away, a trail of saliva and cum connects your lips. “Need you to fuck me.”

“Let me go, baby.” You coax gently, hoping he won’t get upset if you’re sweet. “Let me go and I'll fuck you."

He shakes his head, "I know you're lying to me, noona. I know I have to break you in first before I let you go."

You pale, bile rising up your throat at the ominous words. "Break me in… how?"

"You’ll see." He giggles, craning your neck up and kissing your skin harshly, growling in between the sloppy kisses, "But when you're over those worthless boys, maybe you can fuck me again. I hate being a bad boy but this is the only way to make you see."

Pulling back from your stinging neck, he presses his dick to your entrance. Your pussy spasms around the tip of his dick, and he chuckles deeply. “Look how needy your pussy is for me. Noona was wasting time being a little slut and letting those bastards touch her when she could've had me." He says reproachfully, as if you were a misbehaving child, and it makes your anger flare up and overpower your fear.

"I don't want you, you freak." You spit out and he slaps you, hard, the force of it busting your lip open. Taking a deep break, he calms himself down and smiles again. "Now that's not very nice, noona. After all I've done for you." He leans down and licks at the drop of blood that sprung from your lip, moaning at the taste.

"You made me wait for so long, noona. I can't wait anymore." He shakes a little, as if it really was hurting him physically to hold back. Pushing into you, he lets out a shuddering cry. "I love you so much. You're finally mine."

You arch your back as he buries himself all the way inside of you, and he takes that opportunity to bend down and pluck one of your nipples into his mouth. You whimper against him, making him speed up his thrusts.

“I’m making you feel good, aren’t I, noona?” He grunts, keeping your legs wide open as he fucks into you but you don’t reply, angering him. Suddenly, you’re flipped onto your stomach, and he pushes himself between your spread legs so you can't close them, plunging his dick back inside you. “You will not ignore me, noona. I will not allow it.”

He steadies himself on both sides of you and leans over you, trapping you under him and fucking you hard and slow, trying to get as deep inside you as possible despite his size and making you shiver as his dick drags against your walls. He gradually speeds up, his dick gliding easily over the track it made, overwhelming your poor pussy.

He fucks you so well, and you’re entirely, completely ashamed of how good it feels. It seems like he is intent on humiliating you, his dick hitting the sweet spot inside of you perfectly with each thrust, and your pussy keeps clenching around him more and more as the sound of your flesh smacking together fills the room. You’re transfixed under him, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open with your back perfectly arched to receive his thrusts, and soon, he grunts into your ear, "I'm so close."

Your eyes snap open urgently. “Pull out. I'm not on birth control. You can’t cum inside me." You explain hastily. You had stopped taking the pill ever since Chan had passed away. You weren’t fucking Felix so you felt no need to take it.

"I know, noona." He says and you almost sigh in relief, fully expecting Felix to whine but pull out. But to your horror, he continues, "Gonna breed you so you'll never leave me again."

Your breath catches in your throat and your nerves go numb. You sob, “Felix, please no. Pull out, baby please. I won’t leave. I’ll stay.”

“You will.” He promises you, and doesn’t pull back. Instead, fucking you harder and spanking your ass as he grunts loudly, "Take it like a good noona."

He empties himself inside of you, his hot cum flooding your pussy, and to your great shame, that pushes you to cum too, your pussy milking him obediently. He praises you happily, "Good noona, taking all my cum. Your pussy knows you belong to me."

You think he’ll be done now, having fucked you and filled you up. But to your horror, he turns you on your side and embraces you from behind. Lifting one leg up in the air, he starts fucking you again. With how wet you were and his previous ejaculation, wet lewd sounds fill the room along with his low grunts and your breathless gasps.

He spends the whole night fucking you, taking you in every position conceivable and making sure to empty every little drop inside of you, apologizing for being a bad boy and promising you that he'll take any punishment you give him once you’re pregnant with his baby and he can be sure you'll stay.

The worst part is that he makes sure you cum too, seeming intent on not allowing you any space to later claim like you didn’t enjoy yourself, murmuring praises into your ear every time you orgasm. "Good noona, cumming around my cock. Kitty is so happy with you. You wanna cum again?"

You are almost passed out when he’s done fucking you. Leaving you used up and sprawled out on the bed, he gets up to retrieve something. When he gets back on the bed, you purposefully don’t look at him, expecting him to now try to suck up to you and get you to forgive him.

But he doesn’t say anything and you suddenly jolt at the sharp sting you feel along your inner thigh. You look down in horror to see felix carving something with a knife onto your skin. His own name.

You shout and begin to struggle, only to quickly realize that you shouldn't be moving around with a sharp knife so close to your genitals, and Felix is aware of that too. He ignores your tearful pleas and pained screams until he’s all done. Brandishing the now bloody knife, he whispers conspiratorially, “Wanna know something, noona?”

You don’t reply but he doesn’t care, smiling as he pushes the knife to your throat. “This is the knife I used to stab Jisung.” Your stomach drops and your blood beats frenziedly against the knife pressed to your skin. “It’s also the same knife I used to kill Chan.”

You stay frozen in place, not even breathing, not even blinking.

"I didn't want to kill him. I really loved him. He was the only one I was willing to share you with but he left me no choice.” He goes on, pouting slightly as if he was lamenting losing his favorite mug. “But it’s better this way. Now you’re all mine. And once you're broken in, I'll let you use this to mark me up too."

____________________

A/N: let me know what you think of the ending. I love to hear it!

#stray kids smut #felix smut #sub!felix #sub!idol #yandere!felix #dom!felix

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aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Needled Words

Characters: Childe, fm!reader

Word Count: 1,691

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: When does a joke go too far, when is a jab more than just friendly? Where does the line blur and where does it stop?

In which Childe’s teasing becomes too much for the reader

Author’s Note: For some reason this prompt made me think of Nancy Mitford, mostly because she was known also for being a slightly mean-spirited teaser. Ah Childe, my beloved. Communication in a relationship is key y’all.

Childe

You knew that Childe was only joking. After all, didn’t he read his letters to you? Brimming with little asides and jokes.

“Dear Tonia, I would say I was happy to get your letter, if only it was sopping wet. Did you leave it out in the snow again? I swear, if you were in the illustrious Tsaritsa’s army, you’d probably end up attacking your own regiment, and then I’d be forced to execute you for treason!” No one could mistake such an opening for anything except a slightly barbed bit of teasing.

Nor were the younger one’s exempt. Teucer’s antics had resulted in quite a bit of teasing. “Teucer, I think the Mr. Cyclopses have better survival instincts” and “I didn’t take you for someone who spent other people’s money!” This latter statement was made after Teucer spied the hand-crafted, very expensive, fireworks that were sold in Liyue. Of course, Childe had bought him the fireworks, and of course he never begrudged doing things for you when he teased you either. Still, you somehow felt as if things were different when directed at you.

Not that they really were. It wasn’t so much that you were picking up a different tone, it was more that, unlike Childe’s siblings and other friends, such as Zhongli, who was subjected to endless old man jokes, you couldn’t seem to take them well. When he joked about how many times you ran into the countertop you began to wonder if you truly had something wrong with your hand-eye coordination; when he said you were the laziest person, he’d ever met you wondered if you weren’t sleeping in too late; when he teased that he had to be your personal babysitter you wondered if you were truly good enough to be an adventurer. It wasn’t Childe’s fault, it really wasn’t, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Of course, you could tell him, could finally let it all out and stop pretending that it wasn’t painful to try and keep all your emotion sunder wraps. But you couldn’t help but feel as if that would in some ways disappoint him. He was a Harbinger, tough, aloof. No words could ever hurt Childe, of that, you were sure. So how would he take it, the knowledge that his part was all too liable to shatter at every poke and prod? You couldn’t blame him if he turned out to be ashamed.

So, you kept it to yourself, smiled through all the jabs and teases. It didn’t matter, it really didn’t. You were fine! Or if you, weren’t it wasn’t worth it trying to change anything. You didn’t want to lose Childe, didn’t want to see the change when he went to say something before stopping, looking at you’re with barely concealed disappointment. Childe lived with his emotions to the forefront after all. And you wouldn’t ask him to change something you ultimately loved about him.

Thus, the days continued on, as did the teasing and the feigned smiles. Some days it was worth it, some days you were left with nothing but happiness bubbling up inside, the love that humans reserved for a very few number of friends and lovers. Yet those days were often days with minimal teasing, and you couldn’t help but notice the layer of anxiety that pressed on your love the days that were filled with Childe’s jabs. Lying in bed, limbs tangled with his, you stared up at the ceiling, wondering what you should do. You felt trapped, by your emotions, by your pride, by Childe’s words. They were all encircling you, and you could do nothing to defend yourself. You tried to keep the tears to a minimum; after all your partner slept so little already.

You didn’t know when the subtle shift happened, when it all became too much to handle. Maybe it was after Childe’s recent trip to Snezhnaya, where, surrounded by Harbingers who saw their coworkers as enemies rather than allies, he had sharpened his wit even more so than before. If his earlier teasing was unfocused, general quips, then his current ones struck quite closer to home.

“Wow my dear I didn’t peg you for a Treasure Hoarder, I don’t think that arrow could hit anyone if it tried!”

“I think you truly have the makings of someone who gets scammed by a Mondstadtian duke, or perhaps a Fontaine prince who has lost all his mora in a flood. Remind me to never go shopping with you.”

“Honestly, I think if you ran into the Electro Archon, she’d think your vision was fake. It’d be an easy way out.”

The whiplash of Childe’s proclamations of “princess” mingled with sentences that, had they been geared at anyone else, would surely be insults was shocking, and you found yourself less and less able to keep these two aspects of your partner compatible in your mind. Even less did you find the ability to simply brush it off.

You didn’t know why it was a comment about your socks that finally caused you to break. Really, it was too juvenile.

Laundry in your shared apartment was often seen as a punishment, the chore that each of you pushed onto the other. As such there was often a pile of laundry in the laundry basket, and incredibly slim pickings in your drawers. That being the case you often found yourself wearing mismatched socks. Perhaps it was a little odd, or a little childish, but it was certainly preferrable to spending all day at the river scrubbing your hands red. Who cared anyways? No one would notice such a small thing, especially once you had put your boots on.

However, nothing could get past Childe’s wicked sense of humor, and apparently your clothing choices were prime fodder for him.

“Nice socks.”

“Oh, thanks,” you replied, already having a sense of where it was going. The smirk that played across your partner’s face was full of mischief, and usually that only led to one place.

“I think that you’ll be quite the icon among toddlers all throughout Liyue. People will be asking you if you’re lost all day, or maybe they’ll ask you how it feels like to be nine.”

It was really a silly comment to get so upset over, such a small, insignificant thing to cry over. Yet there you were, standing in the kitchen, frozen in horror as your vision became fuzzy with tears. Unsure about any other course of action you buried your face in your hands and prayed Childe wouldn’t think about what you were doing.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

You could hear the panic and concern mingling in Childe’s voice. Almost immediately a warm hand was on your shoulder, and you were suddenly flooded with the presence of the person you loved so much, the person you were now crying about. You could tell Childe was saying something, was whispering soft words of comfort, but in the moment your thoughts felt all too loud. Overwhelmed by the situation you turned into your partner’s shoulder and let yourself cry.

Eventually sensing you had lost all your tears Childe drew back slightly.

“Would you like a glass of water?”

“Yes please,” you replied, voice still small. Nodding Childe moved towards the kitchen. Within a few moments he was back, glass in hand.

“Was it the teasing?” He asked as you drank. Whatever you had to say about your partner, he certainly wasn’t stupid.

“Yes,” you mumbled, nodding for affect.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I had gone too far. I promise I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“But Childe, it, it’s not just this time.”

“What do you mean?” Childe asked, voice flooding through with concern once more.

“It’s, I’m sorry, it’s just that, it’s all the time. Not all the time, every time you tease me. It’s not your fault! Of course, it’s not, it’s my fault. I don’t know, I just, it really hurts sometimes, all the time? I don’t know. I just, I’m sorry.”

Childe’s expression was one of abject horror. Taking your hand, he rubbed small circles on the top with his thumb. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how much it was affecting you. I should have been more careful.”

“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to, I don’t know, I know you tease everyone, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t making me uncomfortable.” Childe’s voice seemed just as hurried as yours. “It makes me more uncomfortable to think that you’ve been burying this the whole time. You’re damn good at hiding things you know. But this isn’t a war or something, you don’t have to hide what you’re feeling, for whatever reason. Better if you tell me, y’know?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Doesn’t look good on you, or sound good. I’d rather hear you happy.” Childe leaned in to press a soft kiss against your forehead. “I love you, okay? You mean more to me than a little bit of teasing.”

“You don’t think I’m being weak?” You managed to make out as your anxiety lessened its grip on you.

“Weak? Girlie you’re one of the strongest people I know! Weak my ass. If you wanted to rule the world you could give me a run for my money. Of course, I’d win though. I mean, I would be there right with you.”

“I know you would,” you smiled, despite yourself.

You knew that Childe probably would still retain the odd sense of humor and levity he already had. Old habits die hard and all that. Still, you had managed to say what had been haunting you all this time and, more than that, you had been assured that you were good enough, strong enough. Those few words, no matter how short, meant the world to you.

#genshin impact #childe x reader #childe #tartaglia #genshin impact fanfiction #oneshot #requested #my writing

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translations-by-aiimee · 3 years

Text

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 22

Original Title: 二哈和他的白猫师尊

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 22 - This Venerable One's Shizun is Getting Angry

When Chu Wanning heard this, he was so angry that he could barely keep himself from retracting Tianwen and slashing the Chen couple. But he couldn't open his eyes to confront them. Once he opened his eyes, the barrier would be broken. The Return to Truth barrier could only trap a ghost once. If his interrogation was interrupted, he wouldn't be able to listen to any more of Luo Xianxian's story.

All he could do was contain his overwhelming rage and continue listening to Luo Xianxian.

After she died, her soul entered the underworld, unaware and confused.

The only thing that she could make out was a woman wearing red and green robes with facial features that resembled the Master of Ceremonies Ghost enshrined in a temple. The Master of Ceremonies Ghost stood in front of her and asked her in a soft voice: "You and Chen Bohuan couldn't share a bed in life. Would you like to share the same grave in death?"

She hurriedly agreed: "Yes. . . Yes please!"

"Then I can let him come join you right away. What do you think?"

Luo Xianxian wanted to blurt out a yes, rushing to agree, but suddenly remembered something and froze. "Am I dead?"

"Yes. I am the Master of the Underworld Ghost. I can give you the destiny you deserve and fulfill your long-cherished wish."

Luo Xianxian was startled: "Then, if he comes to join me, will he. . . also die?"

"Yes. However, if loves persists in the afterlife, life and death are irrelevant. What difference does it make?"

Chu Wanning heard this, he thought to himself that he had been right; this Master of Ceremonies Ghost would persuade others to make a wish so that she could reap the benefits. This immortal was truly diabolical.

Although Luo Xianxian died unjustly, she hadn't yet become a malevolent ghost, so she repeatedly shook his head: "No. It wasn't his fault. You can't kill him."

The Master of Ceremonies Ghost smiled compassionately: "And what did you get in return for this kindness?" It didn't force Luo Xianxian to do anything. As an immortal being, they could persuade someone to make a bad wish, but they couldn't force them. Its figure gradually faded away, its voice becoming hazier and hazier.

"Return to the world in seven days. During those seven days, go and see how the Chen family is faring. After that, I'll ask you again if you still have no regrets about your decision."

Seven days later, the day arrived.

Luo Xianxian's soul returned to a conscious form and returned to the world of the living.

Following the old road, she eagerly walked towards the Chen house to see her husband for the last time.

Unexpectedly, the Chen house was decorated with lights, and outside the courtyard, there were fireworks. Bridal flowers were decorating the halls. and a big "double happiness" banner was hanging in front of the main hall. Madam Chen was radiant, not appearing sickly in the slightest. She was smiling and instructing the servants to wrap the bouquets with red silk.

Who. . . was having a wedding?

Who. . . were the bride and groom?

Who. . . no one was engaged, what was going on?

Who. . .

She walked through the busy crowd, listening to the sound of people in the world of the living.

"Congratulations, Madam Chen. Your son is getting engaged to the daughter of the county magistrate. When's the wedding?"

"Madam Chen, you're so fortunate."

"Yao Qianjin is truly the lucky star of the Chen family and they aren't even official yet. Madam Chen, you look so much healthier already."

"Your son and Yao Qianjin are a match made in heaven. I'm so jealous, hahahaha."

Her son. . . Her son. . .

Which son?

Which one was marrying the daughter of the Yao family?

She shuttled back and forth across the familiar front yard, growing more and more frantic, looking for that familiar figure in the midst of all the laughter.

Then she found him.

In front of the peony flowers in the back hall, Chen Bohuan stood with his hands behind his back with a haggard face and sunken cheeks. However, he was dressed in red. Even though it wasn't a traditional wedding outfit, it was a Caidie Town custom. When a prospective son-in-law comes to propose marriage, he should wear this type of red gown.

Was he. . . going to propose. . .?

The decorations in the whole house, the strings of gold and silver beads, was it all. . . was it all from Chen Bohuan, her husband, as a dowry for the daughter of the Yao family?

She suddenly recalled the time when they got married.

There was nothing but two people that shared one heart - nothing else.

There was no master of ceremonies, no bridesmaids, and no dowry. The Chen family weren't wealthy at that time and didn't even own a decent set of jewelry. He went into the yard and picked a delicate orange blossom from under the orange tree they had planted together and carefully tucked it behind her ear.

She asked him: "Does it look good?"

He said it looked beautiful. After a moment of silence, he stroked her hair with some sadness and told her: "You deserve so much better than this."

Luo Xianxian smiled and pursed his lips, saying that it didn't matter.

Chen Bohuan told her that when he married her three years later, he would hold a lively wedding banquet. He would invite people from all over the world. He would have her make a grand entrance on a large sedan chair. He would give her gold and silver to wear, and the dowry gifts would fill the entire main hall.

Those vows still echoed in her ears. Now, all those promises have come true, the hall filled with gifts and guests.

He was getting married, just not to her.

A monstrous flame of anger and sorrow surged through her. Luo Xianxian screamed, trying to tear at the hanging red silk in the room.

But she was a ghost; she couldn't touch anything.

Chen Bohuan seemed to vaguely notice something. He turned around, staring at the silk moving despite there being no wind. His eyes were dull and hollow.

His little sister came over, a white jade hairpin clipped on the side of her bun. She didn't know who she was secretly mourning by wearing it.

She said: "Big brother, go to the kitchen to eat something. You haven't had a proper meal in days. You have to hurry up and go to the county magistrate's house later to propose. Your body won't hold up."

Chen Bohuan suddenly asked without thinking: "Sister, did you hear someone crying?"

". . . What? No, brother, I think you're still. . ." She gritted her teeth and didn't finish her thought. Chen Bohuan still stared at the fluttering silk sheets.

"How is my mother? Is she happy? Has her illness been cured?"

". . . Brother."

". . . I'm glad she's feeling better." Chen Bohuan stood there, muttering to himself. "I already lost Luo Xianxian, I couldn't live without my mother."

"Brother, go eat something. . ."

Luo Xianxian wailed. She yelled and bawled with her head in her hands.

Don't go. . . don't go. . . please don't go. . .

Chen Bohuan said: ". . . Alright."

The tired figure disappeared around the corner.

Luo Xianxian stood alone in a daze, large tears rolling down her face. Suddenly, she heard the brothers of the Chen family who killed her approaching. The second eldest brother and the younger brother were whispering to each other.

"Mother is finally happy. Finally, things are going our way."

"Right? She pretended to be sick for half and year. Now that that cursed bitch is gone, how could she not be thrilled?"

The younger brother tsked and said, "How come she died? We wanted to force her out, not kill her. Was she really so stupid that she couldn't even find someone to help her?"

"Who knows. She was weak, just like her rotten father. It's not our fault that she died. Even though mother pretended to be sick to get rid of her, our family has its own struggles. Think about it, when the options county magistrate’s daughter and some pauper girl, only a fool would choose the latter. Besides, even if Yao Qianjin is a brat, she's got enough money to go around."

"Yes, she's so dumb. She didn't want to live so she let herself freeze to death. No one could've saved her."

The words drifted to her ears.

After Luo Xianxian died, she finally understood the so-called "Divine Fate". She was completely broke and couldn't compare to the county magistrate's daughter who was so noble and honourable.

Only a fool would choose the pauper girl.

She finally snapped.

She returned to the Master of Ceremonies' temple full of hatred and resentment.

She died there. Unlike how weak and helpless she was when she died, she returned with overwhelming hostility.

She used to be such a kind person, but now, all the hatred and evil that had been built inside her while she was alive came flooding out. She roared, her eyes turning red, her soul trembling.

She said: "I, Luo Xianxian, would like to give up my soul and follow the path of wickedness. I only ask you to avenge me! I want the Chen family - I don't want you to kill them!!! I want. . . I want to let my beastly mother-in-law kill her sons by her own hand! All her sons!!! I want Chen Bohuan to go to hell with me!!! Let him be buried with me!!! Do it for me!!! I hate them! I hate them!!!!"

The eyes of the clay sculpture on the shrine shifted and the corners of its mouth slowly raised.

A hollow voice echoed through the temple.

"I have heard your prayers. It will be as you wish. As an evil spirit - kill all those that you resent -"

A piercing blood-red light flashed, and Luo Xianxian couldn't remember anything after that.

However, Chu Wanning already what happened next. After that, the Master of Ceremonies Ghost manipulated Luo Xianxian's spirit to possess Madam Chen and force her to kill each member of the Chen family.

The red coffin on the top of the mountain, the reason why Chen Bohuan was dug up, naturally, was because the Master of Ceremonies Ghost was fulfilling Luo Xianxian's greatest wish - "Let Chen Bohuan and I be buried together." Moreover, it deliberately placed the coffin on the property of Chen Bohuan and his new wife as an act of spiteful revenge.

As for the floral scent in Chen Bohuan's coffin, it was the scent of the butterfly fragrance powder that Luo Xianxian had worn before her death. The resentment and fragrance in the coffin were both extremely strong because Luo Xianxian's soul was resting alongside Chen Bohuan inside it.

Luo Xianxian had no family. According to the customs, if a person like that dies, their bones should be cremated instead of buried. Therefore, she had no physical body and could only be contained within the coffin by the Master of Ceremonies Ghost. That's why, when Chu Wanning opened the coffin with his willow vine, Luo Xianxian had escaped the coffin's containment. Her soul flew away, and it was difficult to recapture. It was a situation of "a closed coffin being heavy with resentment but an open coffin being light".

But during the illusion, why did other people have dead bodies as their partners but Chen Bohuan only had a paper-mache ghost bride?

Chu Wanning thought for a moment and figured out this much:

The Master of Ceremonies Ghost didn't break its promise. The paper-mache bride was the "physical body" that it gave Luo Xianxian. It was a vessel so that Luo Xianxian could be buried with Chen Bohuan.

Everything was clear.

Chu Wanning looked at the weak and helpless girl in the barrier. He wanted to say something but didn't know what to say.

Elder Yuheng wasn't particularly good at comforting words. He couldn't think of anything, so he stayed silent, not having anything he could say.

The girl stood in the vast darkness with her soft round eyes open.

Chu Wanning looked at her eyes and couldn't bear it. He wanted to leave. He didn't want to take another look. He was about to open his eyes and leave the Return to Truth barrier.

Then the girl suddenly spoke.

"Lord Yama. I. . . I have something else I want to tell you."

Chu Wanning: ". . . Alright."

The girl suddenly lowered her head, covered her eyes, and cried. She said softly, "Lord Yama, I don't know what I did after that. But, I. . . I really didn't want to kill my husband. I didn't want to be an evil spirit. I really. . ."

"I didn't steal the oranges. I really am Chen Bohuan's wife. And I truly, truly didn't want to hurt anyone either."

"I truly didn't want anyone to get hurt. Please believe me."

Her voice choked and trembled, her words breaking.

"I. . . didn't lie. . ."

I didn't lie.

Why is it that, in this life, almost no one believed me?

She sobbed and screamed. Chu Wanning's voice sounded low in the darkness. He didn't say much, but he said it with conviction.

"Okay."

Luo Xianxian was shocked.

Chu Wanning said: "I believe you."

Luo Xianxian wiped her tears with her hands indiscriminately but couldn't hold them back. Hiding her tearful face, she lowered her head and bowed her head in his direction in the darkness.

Chu Wanning opened his eyes.

After he opened his eyes, he didn't say anything.

Time in the barrier wasn't the same as in reality. He had stayed there for a long time but, for the people waiting outside, it had only been a moment. Mo Ran hadn't returned yet. The few remaining people in the Chen family were still looking at him with bated breath.

Chu Wanning withdrew Tianwen and said to Madam Chen: "I'll avenge you. You can find peace."

Madam Chen froze and opened her blood-red eyes, and suddenly fell to the ground with a thud, knocked out cold.

Chu Wanning raised his head again. His eyes swept across Chen's face then landed on the youngest son. His voice didn't waver, and it was still frighteningly cold.

"I'll ask one last time." He said each word slowly and decisively. "Did you really not recognize whose voice that was?"

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