#she can be a hardcore enabler or she can tell you like it is

[shepherds-of-haven]

When Tallys and MC have a couple argument she totally complains about MC with the animals, like "Can you believe they had the guts to say that to me??" and meanwhile an owl is looking at her like this OvO

LOLLL this is a hilarious image! She's just venting about MC like "the aUdACIty" and some snake is just like "do you have any ratssss 🐍"

#it's funny because in general animals are pretty easily distracted and completely unconcerned with human bullshit #unless they're really big/smart/woken or heavily domesticated #so they wouldn't be the best conversational partners but would Tallys let that stop her? #I doubt it 😂 #honestly though her vent partner is typically Shery because Shery can always calm her down just by listening #whereas Briony and Ayla are ride or die enablers who will just agree with everything you say and make you angrier #like YEAH! THAT'S SO FUCKED UP YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT! KILL THEM!!! #Lavinet is 50/50 #she can be a hardcore enabler or she can tell you like it is #it sort of just depends on the situation lol #Shepherds of Haven #Tallys #Tallys Ironwood #silly

[morerawerbreath]

Fictional Men Ranked Least to Most Likely to Eat Pussy

When I’m bored my powers turn to evil. Happy to announce that @earlymodernlesbian is not only is an enabler but wrote a gay companion piece which you can and should read here!!!! 

10. Mr. Rochester — Jane Eyre

No chance of oral here. Sorry, I don’t think he puts Jane first once in this book. She’s too busy being a ministering angel to ever consider anything above and beyond her wifely duty and I don’t think Rochester ever really stops being a narcissist long enough to consider her desires or even, you know, her life. I bet his french mistress asked him to do it once and he was like “ew, no”

9. Rhett Butler — Gone With the Wind

Rhett says shit like “you ought to be kissed and by someone who knows how,” and then I bet would go down on you one time just to show you what you were missing out on, and then he’d tease you about how much you liked it for months afterwards and refuse to do it again. Imagine how much more normal Scarlett might have been if she was getting regular oral.

8. Konstantin Levin — Anna Karenina

Definitely knows about eating pussy and can’t stop thinking about it. I think he might even shamefully obsess about it in conjunction with his dirty peasant laborer fantasies. However, he also has the ascetic monk thing going on so I bet he hardcore represses his desires to actually do it. That being said, I think if he ever got over himself he’d be way into it.

7. Mr Darcy — Pride and Prejudice

I’m not convinced Mr. Darcy even knows going down on girls is a thing, but once Bingley had filled him in I bet he would try it. Elizabeth I’m sure would not object but I can’t see this happening more than once or twice.

6. Oliver Mellors — Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Mellors has the distinct advantage and disadvantage of being the only character from a book that actually describes sex acts. If it was based solely on what he said (being turned on by getting women off, not shutting up about Connie’s ass, talking about how much he wants a “real” woman with a “real” body), I’d say absolutely he wants to get down there and would use the cringiest words possible to describe it. However, they textually do almost everything else so I feel like if he ate her out DH Lawrence would have told us 😔

EDIT: he goes down on her in the most recent movie!!! vindicated

5. Jonathan Harker — Dracula

Jonathan is obsessed with Mina (rightfully) and loves her to the end of the earth, so of course he’d do anything for her, including eat her out. However, there’s so much putting women on goddess pedestals in Dracula that he might just like, repeatedly kiss her between her legs and and be like, “am I doing this right?” and Mina would be like “I love you so much Jonathan” but she wouldn’t actually get off, you know? 

4. Heathcliff — Wuthering Heights

Someone who is willing to dig up your grave would definitely be down to lick your pussy. Cathy and Heathcliff are so rabid about each other I bet oral is like, one of the least weird things they would have done to each others bodies if they had the chance

3. Gabriel Oak — Far from the Madding Crowd

Not intimidated by Bathsheba’s independence and position of power. Could take care of her and spoil her if she ever let him and they both know it. Plus, not afraid to get down and dirty and do farm work for her. If a man cures your sheep and saves your hay before a storm, what else will he do for you? 👀

2. Mr. Knightley — Emma

Mr. Knightly is the definition of a service top. 100% confident in his masculinity and completely comfortable putting Emma’s needs and wants first, but not gonna let her get away with being high and mighty. Excellent combination of obsessed with her but still in charge. ;) She would get neurotic about it and he would tell her to chill out and he’d be right.

1. George Emerson — A Room with a View

George chugs his respect women juice and is so turned on by the idea of women as individuals with unique desires he can’t stand to see Lucy betray herself by marrying a robot. “I want you to have your own thoughts even when I hold you in my arms” ?!? “The desire to govern a woman lies very deep, and men and women must fight it together before they shall enter the Garden” !! What’s not to love about a pro-Eve humanist who enjoys swimming naked and is constantly telling everyone to be less embarrassed about desire and the body? No question George is going to be eating Lucy out every day of their lives and getting off on it himself.

Bonus: 

Marius Pontmercy — Les Misérables

Shy, but also French. Not sure which one wins out here. 

#pride and prejudice #emma #wuthering heights #a room with a view #far from the madding crowd #gone with the wind #anna karenina #lady chatterley's lover #dracula #jonathan harker #mr darcy #heathcliff #rhett butler #jane eyre #mr rochester #marius #les mis

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

What's your thoughts on Makoto rebuilding hope's peak? Do you think it's a good idea, or is it the perfect set up for another tragedy? The tragedy was put into motion since Junko knew that they had all the Ultimates there. She just had to do some.... hardcore manipulation and such.

Oh I have THOUGHTS about this alright, I’ve even talked about it before. I think it’s a very stupid decision to rebuild hopes peak but ENTIRELY in character. Junko is such a fascinating character to me because just as much as she’s an important figure in starting the tragedy, she’s also it’s scapegoat. Without the literal human experimentation on children hopes peak was doing she would have been so much less successful, potentially unable to even do the tragedy. The parade doesn’t exist without the abuse of the reserve course, the ultimate tragic event truly started with the reserve course RIOTING over the fact their money was used to fuel human experimentation on THEMSELVES. You don’t need Junko for that, Junko pushed the riot to an extreme yea, but she wouldn’t have a riot without Izuru. Junko threw a match on a pile of rags soaked in oil, but she didn’t make the pile, and if she didn’t start that blaze, someone else would have.

However if everyone points at Junko they don’t need to think about how she only succeeded because hopes peak enabled her, how hopes peak set up a society of cruel hard castes, and suffering that let someone like Junko thrive. It’s easy to blame a single human person for everything when in reality, the fall of the talent system was inevitable. Which makes it easy to repeat history if you are someone directly traumatized by Junko. Makoto is also a Hopes Peak Fanboy, he idolizes the academy because society tells him that the academy and talent system is good and just and perfect, it tells him that the institute is hope and all its war crimes is just a Few Bad Eggs. He’s simply recreating the caste system that he was raised to admire, buying into the propaganda that his childhood and future foundation pushes. Plus he’s inherently privileged by being an ultimate, he knows basically nothing about the plight of those actually crushed under hope peak’s boot. Which from the reserve course and comments from Toko in UDG about Komaru’s lack of talent, and attitudes like Komaeda’s, the plight of the untalented is a very real one.

It’s easy for him to be optimistic and think “well if one Bad person ruined the system that was always inherently Good then a Good person can put it back” but he’s wrong, you can’t fix hopes peak, you can’t fix the talent system, the desperation for talent broke the warriors of hope, it broke the reserves, and it broke the world. I think he means so so well I think he genuinely believes this will work, but in reality its doomed, eventually it’ll fall again. It’s the perfect example of how Makoto Naegi believes so hard he can change the world, but unlike with the remnants, this change will not be a good one. Plus he’s like what, 21? And trying to run a school? Good fucking luck sir you’ll need it.

Tldr; it’s really in character for him to do it because of the fact he was raised around it, thinks it’s to be a force of hope like he was taught his entire life, and is himself the privileged cast a talent system supports. I doubt someone like Hajime, someone burned by the system, would support it so easily. It’s a bad idea that’s only going to hurt people because Makoto accepts Junko as a scapegoat and fails to truly grasp the atrocities hopes peak did before Junko, thus dooming them to be repeated in the future, maybe not by him, but in the future, when another headmaster goes “hey what if we made a new ultimate hope” or “what if we push a young child’s talent to the limit” and starts this whole damn thing over again. It’s so very Makoto Naegi, and it will be his biggest mistake.

#danganronpa 3 #goodbye despair #trigger happy havoc #reserve course #musings from the music manager #meta #anon chaos

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

july 2, 2021 2:00 p.m. newcrest counseling center

[grant] anyhow, you know what my parents were like. vaguely, that is. one was abusive and the other was an enabler. you don’t know much about them, but definitely nothing about my sisters.

[grant] oh, and about the avoidance thing, one of the things i've avoided besides my parents is what happened to my oldest sister elizabeth. she’s the one who passed away from cancer. i mentioned her last week. i can't remember if i mentioned the cancer part.

[grant] her birthday was back on the seventeenth. i haven’t been home, like in my hometown where i grew up, on her birthday in years. but no matter where i've been, i've never felt brave enough to actively engage in my grief, if that makes sense. she’s always haunted me and so has her death and everything surrounding those events. the grief has always been there. i've just never dealt with it or really tried to open up to remembering her in a more honorable light.

[grant] and by honorable, i mean, like, genuinely talking about her and not only saying her death destroyed me and i wish she were here. i'm not trying to shove her away. i don’t mean to reject her. i mean, she never rejected me. it’s sort of wrong for me to not remember her fully. i feel immense guilt for that.

[grant] there are some people who aren’t here anymore that aren’t blessed with the luxury of being remembered, so i shouldn't even try to condemn her to the same fate. plus i think my sister is still with me somehow.

[grant] by the way, i guess i should also say that the reason i started changing my mind about hope, being more confident, and not avoiding things despite my current situation is that, well, i also feel very guilty for not fixing myself. if i have to be the one that’s alive, i'll respect her and do the right thing for myself. my sister would want me to be happy. besides, my sister had a lot of hopes in her last days, and absolutely none of them came true. i'll do my best to make the ones i can control come true.

[grant] also no, i'm not deflecting off onto someone else. i'm choosing it for myself, don’t get me wrong. i'm doing my part. it’s just, well, like i said, my family is a unit. they do matter to me. their thoughts and opinions matter. we do rely on each other. that includes elizabeth, even if she's not here.

[margot] do you feel also guilt overall that it’s you that survived?

[grant] why wouldn’t i?

[margot] it was out of your control. there’s nothing you could have done to change the situation.

[grant] i tried to. yeah, i tried, and then immediately abandoned any hope for catholicism or good nature in the universe after prayer and hoping failed.

[margot] ah, you come from a religious family.

[grant] of sorts. it’s not cut and dry conservative catholicism, though, don’t get me wrong. there are a lot of atheists or at least open-minded practitioners. bridget, my aunt, is even into wicca. except there’s my mom, she is a hardcore catholic in the not-so-fun way.

[grant] still, there’s not a single person in my family who didn’t at least attend catholic school. we’re irish catholics and yes, the catholic part is an important distinction.

[margot] perhaps that plays into the guilt aspect. generally, christianity teaches that prayer will bring good things and then…

[grant] right. and then terrible things happen anyway and your faith and hope are shattered.

[grant] but besides that, i do feel guilty because she just didn’t deserve it. i feel like i deserved it more. i've always felt that way. i don’t have as much to offer the world as she did.

[margot] neither of you deserved it. unfortunately, these awful random deaths do just happen, but it’s not about deserving. no one deserves to die.

[margot] tell me about her. what was she like? what was her role in the family?

[grant] genuinely, the best word to describe her is perfect. i don’t think she ever did anything wrong in her life and i don’t think she had the capacity to be bad at anything. she was nice, she was very generous and lovely. she was deeply religious. i guess you could just say pure of heart. beyond that, she was accomplished. straight A student, valedictorian, MVP softball player, homecoming queen, prom queen…

[grant] not that appearance matters, but she also was very pretty. standard pretty, too. she was tall and skinny and a natural blonde.

[grant] as for her role in the family...well, you know, like i said, she was the oldest out of all of us. she’s the oldest grandchild by a couple months and she was seven years older than me. and she was my mom’s favorite. she was so obviously the favorite that it’s insane. it’s like my mom lived through her. everything my mom wanted from her, she got. my sister was even planning on going to medical school and had a full scholarship to college because that’s what my mom wanted. i mean, she wanted to help people, but my mom also wanted that from her.

[margot] to be the oldest daughter and the golden child is a deeply tragic way to live. i'm sure she was many of those things on her own, but i'm also sure she was driven to excel beyond belief in everything to stabilize your mother and to avoid drawing her ire.

[grant] i know. i came to that realization, too.

[grant] also, you know how i mentioned to you that my sister wrote me a ton of letters to keep for after she died? it’s a sweet thing and something others have done out in the world, too, but her letters are above and beyond. they’re not just “i love you” letters. they’re…

[grant] well, uh, for example, the one i read last was a whole dive into religion and her beliefs and her trying to explain why she believed in catholicism. that’s heavy shit.

[grant] and also, i'm not the only one who got something from her after her death. nearly every single person got something, at least a little something.

[margot] she felt indebted. she had to do the right thing to make everyone happy, not just your mom.

[grant] yes, i think so.

[grant] she’s a good person and always was. she would have been no matter what the family situation was. but i think the situation did force her to take on the burden of taking care of others.

[grant] you know, i'm not super happy or relieved to know after remembering a couple of our last conversations and reading that one letter that she died absolutely fucking terrified of what would happen to everyone, in particular me, after she died.

[grant] that’s just so unfair. it’s not right for someone her age to be worried to that extent about other people.

[margot] that is very, very sad, and yes, incredibly unfair. those are responsibilities well beyond her age.

[grant] and she had to do most of her caring for other people in secret. she could be loving with other people in front of my mom, but there was always a limit. too much and my mom would freak out. that's another batshit insane thing to wrestle with.

[margot] were you close with elizabeth?

[grant] yes, definitely. for one, she was protective over me, but we were always close with each other anyway. we had different personalities and interests, and there was an age gap, but it didn’t matter all that much. that might have been part of why she liked me so much, since i was way younger. and i don't know, i guess i was a very agreeable and shy kid, and she was an outgoing happy-go-lucky person. that works out. a lot of people would describe me as her baby doll. that was most of our relationship, actually, um, we had a lot of fun together, and i think she liked playing big sister.

[margot] what about your other sister? what was her role? was she close with either of you?

[grant] kelly’s kind of a weird case. my mom also loved her and considered her a favorite, but kelly had free reign. at least she did until elizabeth died, then all those expectations were put on her. on me, too, actually, but kelly did live up to them in my parents’ eyes and i never could.

[grant] i can’t say my sisters got along with each other. elizabeth wanted to, but best i can remember, it was more like they just ignored each other. maybe because they were both the favorites. there was nothing pitting them against each other or making them be besties either.

[grant] actually, overall, kelly didn’t have all that much to do with any of us. she stayed with her friends most of the time. when she was around, she just did her homework or her hobbies or whatever, and wouldn’t talk all that much unless there was drama.

[margot] and what happened when there was drama?

[grant] she always took my mom’s side.

[grant] that was the dichotomy. elizabeth didn't, kelly did.

[margot] i see.

[grant] if i'm honest with you, i feel like i barely even know kelly. she left home immediately after she graduated high school. elizabeth died in 2003, then kelly turned 18 in 2004 and just straight up left. she came back one time after that and then never again. no one has talked to her since.

[margot] let me guess. that one time was when you graduated college.

[grant] yes.

[margot] i think i can assume what might have happened.

[grant] i'm sure you can.

#tw cancer #tw death mention #ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts4 screenshots #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: margot

[threadsun]

JDA Asks: "No i don’t think you understand how much I started to like Z now,,, they live in my head rent free and I don’t plan on kicking them out anytime soon—

-JDA here again hi sorry I can’t stop :[-

Contrary to that one last question, is there something Z absolulolyetyl I can’t spell help-

Is there stuff that completely gets him turned on? Like no more talking let’s just kiss— sorta way??"

Muahahahahaha all according to plan >:3c I will make everyone love my lil bastard!!! And don't apologise, you're only enabling me and I love it 🥰

Ohohohoh yes there is~

Z is a hardcore sadist and a hardcore masochist, so someone getting rough with it or asking it to get rough with them is in instant turn on. Seriously, pull his hair and he'll get on his knees for you in an instant. Or moan when he bites you and he'll have you bent over the nearest surface~

Easily flustered, shy, and blushy subs activate his dom side immediately. The moment someone's clearly into him and shy/nervous/embarrassed about it, all he wants to do is sink his teeth into them and make them moan for him! The more flustered by their flirting someone gets, the less they can control themself.

Other people being turned on turns her on. The moment she can tell someone's getting turned on, she's into it. Especially if they're flustered and nervous and trying to grind on him~ Extra especially if they're trying to pretend they're not turned on.

When I say he's a hardcore masochist, I mean it. Someone throwing him around, slapping him around, hitting him... it's almost pathetic the way he'll moan when someone beats him up. And the more genuine they are in their attempts to hurt him, the hornier he gets. (he does have a nasty habit of baiting people into beating him up by antagonising them, just so he can get off on it) It's not uncommon to find him bloody and beaten in a dark alley outside of a bar or something, horny as hell. Relatedly: threats also do it for him.

Little sounds get to them too. Breathy whimpers, little moans, hitched breaths... dirty talk as well. If someone calls her a title (mommy/daddy/master/mistress/etc.) then she's gonna kiss them without hesitation. They've got a major voice kink.

#sunshine #asks #zander #jda #I love my kinky lil bastard #seriously though whenever he doesn't have a dedicated partner he'll just go looking for people to beat him up #is it healthy? no. is it sexy? yes.

[toadstool32]

im delirious i just had a GREAT idea this requires having terminal homestuck brain and also liking the idea of batman being fucked up in a funny way. putting this under a read more bc i want u to choose to ruin ur day

ok so like are your familiar with spicyyetis davekat halloween special? well i hope you are now.

ok now are u familiar with bruce wayne? are you familiar of his habit of accidentally acquiring kids left and right and also his perfect mental health?

ok now are you seeing what im seeing

im thinkiong like years in the future like im p sure there was a panel of bruce telling stories to one of his grandchildren like it was very cute right hand on im pulling up the panel

Batman Lost #1 a tie in for dark knights metal

do you see that those are kids , little children running around the manor with an old man bruce just chilling in his murder mystery office, this is the best thing i have ever seen.

so like ideally bruce would have a very happy life retired and with all the rest of the bats taking over in crime fighting n shit and his sons and daughters however many he gets are gonna fill the place with kids eventually bc picking up strays is like, a bat requirement u know, however, im not thinking in a positive way or even a coherent way.

back to YM&O did u see old man dave hoarding kids in a very lonely mansion bc of his fear that the kids are one day gonna be the nly thing that will remind him of the loev of his life or whatever yeah you see where im goin with this.

like i can see it perfectly in my minds eye bruce trying to cope with yknow life and stuff n finally accepting that hes not a one man show and maybe as he gets older hes like alright i gotta, take care of myself? and no matter how much my kids may hate me at times and try to shot me i know they love me and they would be Very Sad if they had to bury me, like , again i mean and so hes like well now im old and trying out this taking care of myself now what and hes like oh i know ill take care of the kids and then at the start dick is like weird but ok better late than never!!! i guess!! but oh wait actuyally sorry old man i cant hang out but u can hang out with timmy and damian ok bye have fun and at this point evryone is like almost thirty and are like trying to subtly get away from bruce bc they were raised independently and also theyre grownups damnit (cass is a treasure so she hangs out but also she knows whats up its chill) and then it expands to the other kids like he starts trying to act as this doting old fatherly figure (hes goin senile its what is HAPPENING) and its not until dick is like haha have u heard jason just got kids following him around thats cute and bruce is like YES THATS IT like he gets hardcore empty nest syndrome except the nest was always kinda full u know? thi pile of leaves and bird shit is gonna overflow,anyway like a few months later dick comes back and theres Horrors tm in Manor bc bruce definition of kid isnt constrained by like, species,(do you think jarro would want more siblings?)

so like the house is packed with kids, all sorts of kids, some arent even kids, some are straight up science experiments and bruce is like I Love My Family :) alfred has been dead for over 30 years and yet bruce finds the way to drag his ghost back to the house so they can coo at the kids together (alfred look at my new daughter isnt she cute yes master bruces shes quite charming what will all the eyes, yes youre right she is) jarro is having fun having siblings but he still tries to win bruces attention , cass is almost encouraging bruce to get more kids (i want a new sister) tim and damian are scared but in different ways jason went there once and said Not My problem (hes also scared) barbara doesnt know the extent of the problem and is just amused the titrans know and dick is the last to know (but only bc i find it funny) if u ask what about duke i dont wanna inflict this hell on him he scaped early amen also the justice league either enables him or is subtly trying to stop him (it is. not working)

#ac #sorry idk what any of this says #bat tag #i reread yours mine and us again the other day and my brain acted like a blender

[reiverreturns]

give us the girl, give us some natasha phoenix trace input reiver, the people wanna know!!!

BAH YOU TERRIBLE ENABLER <3

a song that reminds me of them

oh god oh god okay the one thing i absolutely suck at with characters is songs (i am not a playlist girlie) but if i had to pick one... free by twin atlantic? i set my body on fire so i could be free is pretty lyrically on the nose with how i see her but YOU KNOW.

what they smell like

she strikes me as an unscented soap kind of gal but if she did wear any scent i think it would be something woody and spicy??? like one of those nice unisex scents that smell halfway between a new car and the forest floor. can you tell i do not wear perfume and have no fucking idea what i'm talking about.

an otp

tbh i don't ride hard for any phoenix ship in particular. my normal rational brained self thinks phoenix x bob is cute, but my subconscious lizard brain has constant thoughts about them so that's as close to an otp as i think i'll get here.

a notp

phoenix x rooster. those kids are hardcore platonic in my mind and i don't understand any romantic read of their relationship tbqh.

favorite platonic/familial relationships

PHOENIX AND ROOSTER FOUND FAMILY MY BELOVED. no one can tell me that they are not brother and sister levels of close. in my head they meet right really soon after rooster's bust up with mav so he really has no one. phoenix is similarly alone, being the only woman in the class and with her own family history she's tried to leave in the past. its very much a right person coming into your life at the right time situation. i love their friendship very much it is so dear to me.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with

that she is in any way emotionally well adjusted or in a position to act as friend-therapist to rooster. if you are an elite female pilot in a male dominated field, get shit from folks around you and have to continually prove yourself, and are best friends with the most emotionally repressed man on the planet; then i'm sorry honey you are NOT getting out of that without some deep-rooted issues about being vulnerable. this is a hill i will die on.

the position they sleep in goes to sleep on her back pin-straight. wakes in the morning all curled up like a lil kitty cat.

a crossover au i’d love to see them in literally no matter the character the answer to this question will always be pacific rim.

actually, fuck it. found family? let's crank it up to 11 with a fast and furious crossover. swap jets for cars with NOS, that would be hilarious and fun.

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn

UH BECAUSE THERE'S SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM?! idk her flightsuit i guess. her squadron patches and helmet are neato.

send me a character and i'll tell you some things

#thank you love!!! #i want to put phoenix in a salad spinner and just wizz her about for eternity #ask games

[the-new-pokespe-futures]

Au 1: Poké Night Funkin

Right, as promised, I’ll tell you what Au this is. It’s the Friday Night Funkin or FNF Au, the reason why I decided to do this is because well, no one has done it and makes me very sad 😞. The Au name is called Poké Night Funkin. In this Au, Wally takes Boyfriend’s role while Lisia takes Girlfriend’s role. At this point, they’re not dating prior, but they confessed their feelings to one another before they returned to their timeline after 10 years of being stuck in that timeline, but they tend to treat each other as siblings or just friends. Alright, time for Wally’s bio:

Wally ‘Keith’ Hatsune

Nickname: Cam

Age: 9 (biologically), 19 (mentally), 36 (chronologically)(I don’t know the full timeline of Pokémon Adventures, but all I can say is that’s he’s 5 years older than Red and Green chronologically and this is just a guess)

Species: Human

Friends: Ruby, Sapphire, Soul(hibernating) (and FNF characters which I’ll explain next time) Lisia (Lover)

Relatives: Hatsune Miku (She ‘adopted’ Wally as her brother), Ritz (In FNF universe), Unnamed Father and Mother, Unnamed Aunt and Uncle, Wanda (cousin)(In Pokémon Universe) Soul (brother)(Both universes)

Status: Alive

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Rapper (formerly)

Appearance: Mostly the same as OG Wally, tho sometimes he wears a turquoise hoodie, he also has a few scratches here and there

Personality: Same as OG Wally but at times, he will be more confident and not afraid to save others or when spitting bars, even if it costs him his life (although when facing against strong opponents like Whitty or Sonic.exe, he will get scared but tries to keep a smile)

Next we have his Powers and Abilities:

Being literally taking BF’s role, he has similar abilities:

Cognitohazard (this is briefly explained in the teaser but I’ll go more detail into it) (After training, he’s able to unlock this abilities using his Cognitohazard: Arrow World, Fast Reflexes, Echo, Going Super, Song of Healing, Song mimicry)

High Stamina (he ran from both Sonic.exe and Black on separate occasions during the songs Final Escape and Danger)

High Durability

Reset (Pretty obvious what this means)

Nightmare Mode (this is the one where he is most proficient in, I’ll explain next time if you want)

Immortality

??? (This is said to be his powerful ability, even beyond Nightmare Mode, I don’t know what it is since he didn’t fill me in the details)

Equipment:

Microphone (it’s tied to a rope which is basically like Spider-Man web shooters, and is strapped around his left arm but he holds on his right)

Voice collar (This collar enables him to speak when wearing it.)

Now, a brief summary of him (most likely poorly written):

Most hardcore singers would sing or rap as if their lives are on the line, well in this Wally’s case, it’s quite literal. Being trapped in a different dimension AND being hurled across time and space against his will multiple times AND having many near death experiences and at the same time, having to spit bars, to Wally, the incidents which the dex holders have to face would be a normal Friday night to him. While his adventures are risky or so, he has made many friends and even more enemies throughout his decade of disappearance. Now back in his timeline, he can ‘retire’ from being a rapper and start his dream as a Pokémon trainer, however, since familiar foes have arrived in his timeline after more than a decade to kill him, he has decided to pick up the mic once again, oh and with Lisia cheering him. Now strap in, cuz it’s time to get freaky on a Friday night once again with the duo!

This is again, really long but I don’t exactly know how to write it but it’s the best I can, if you guys want to draw fanart or ask questions or write stories, I’ll allow you. Also, We’ll be covering this Wally Au first, but don’t worry, I’ll explain the other Aus as well. And sorry if this Wally deviates from canon, it’s an Au. Also, if you feel like he’s a bit overpowered, yes he is, he’s considered to be the stronger faction in the Wally Aus, I checked in with one of the other Wallys

“That’s me”

*Turns around* HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!

“You left the door open”

*Realizes that I left the door open* Oh, (Darn it) and BTW, how is training for the dex holders in your Au? (That’s foreshadowing)

“Oh that, they’re still trying to get used to their forms, especially their hybrid forms, it’s a pain, let me tell you that”

Same, teaching others is not my forte, BTW, can you leave now?

“Alright then”

*The person soon left*

Oh! I forgot to mention one thing, while this Wally seems pretty powerful, he was drastically weakened due to an incident when traveloijng back to his timeline so he’s right now, he’s nothing but a former shell of himself. (Poor guy) Anyways, that’s all I have today, this is the-new-pokespe-futures, singing out!

#rival wally #fnf au #pokémon adventures #pokespe #Poké Night Funkin #fnf #foreshadowing

[violetsystems]

#personal

I swear I read this story years ago about a synth guy who was interviewed about the Berlin Wall when it finally came down. He said he had been in his basement for years just making music. He had complained that society was so bad that he had no choice but to pay bills, hole up and not be seen. Of course, I sometimes wonder if this was from a dream or some random ChatGPT log. I've been too busy to spend the day researching if it were true. I've sent one or two resumes off a day lately. I woke up to another rejection letter from Universal although like L'Oreal they keep your resume on file. I feel like I've been wandering around in the dark trying to leave this walled garden of a basement. And I start feeling it's just a waste of time to worry. I just completed that Dream On quest line in Cyberpunk after a few saves and reloads. You discover a politician and his wife are being rewired when they sleep in their apartment. Secret walls and surveillance. She even forgets the color of the flowers in a picture of their wedding when you talk about it. When V flags down the Maelstrom surveillance van and jacks in, he gets an ominous warning from some artificial intelligence. Don't cross their red lines. It was all a dream as far they were concerned and you weren't to interfere. I don't think the game really lets you go too deep in that quest line if only for a flashback at the end of the game. But it all does take my mind off the constant detective work trying to figure out why people more than just ignore me. I don't think I want to know the real answer to that one. And for all the Columbo work over the years I've done pro bono, I have figured out that I'm a lot like that guy I probably dreamed about. The environment around me is proud and indignant. Everybody assumes we're all in this together but nobody talks to anyone or acknowledges I exist. I've grown used to a special kind of friendship online when it comes to communication. Real hardcore detective work there. But I don't really think anyone reads or looks at my blog other than a few people. The only investigation going on is how my birthday happens in one week or so and nobody really cares.

That could be my fault holing up in this dungeon hiding from people. Or am I being hidden? I don't actively hide from much. Except maybe drunk people trying to get me to drink. I'm a very forward person. So is Columbo and he both amused and annoyed people with his mission. Everything after the first season kind of goes off the rails. But it's always Columbo on his same shit. Same coat. Same wife. I think he wears that coat as a strategic ploy to disguise his body language. Which is a joke because you can read the guy all over when he gets frustrated or nervous. He has no poker face to speak of. But maybe that is his ultimate trick. He is always acting thoughtful and nice. But underneath that coat you can tell that guy always solves a case no matter how easy he is to read. But I do wonder what would have happened if he just stayed in his basement playing acid keyboard to Herbie Hancock live performances on Youtube. He does end up in a jazz club tracking a suspect trumpeter named "Bill Riffkin." Each season of Columbo is a descent into Hollywood acting class hell. Bill has a history of domestic violence in which he accents to Columbo behind a bar by violently shaking his trumpet like a strangler. So much so he gets let go from the orchestra he auditioned for. A hard turn from the Supreme Court's decision to enable gun ownership for domestic abusers. It was s simpler time maybe back then. And as far as nostalgia goes, I never really grew up watching Columbo or anything. It was a little before my time. So it has this ambient nature from the other room of filling up the space with talking more so than NPR talking about war, poverty or things nobody wants an invisible person to change. Just like that synth guy, nobody has visited me other than my parents for a minute. People I thought were my friends were only here to take my money. And once you start understanding that you have finally carved out some peace and quiet for yourself you start to refine it. I pass the time sending out resumes not gossiping about other musicians. I do actually learn how to play jazz keyboard but only session with Bennie Maupin. The universal music group rejection letter was worded pleasantly enough. It said something about thanking me for wanting to share my love of music. But I don't think most people understand what love is when it comes to me as an individual. Not after all these years on this planet. I'm not exactly young. But people don't treat me like I'm old unless it's to make fun of me. In fact, I think most people fear aging so much that they're jealous I haven't gone too far downhill. Columbo looks pretty young for being old. Or at least he carries himself in a charismatic enough way to be seen as lovable. People out here project their insecurities so much, you can't really hide underneath a jacket.

Kolchak hides under a hat. Rather, he's defined by it. Made fun of for it. And constantly not believed for twenty episodes of one season. I remember seeing it on reruns and being obsessed with the voodoo storyline. The coolest thing about Kolchak is that it is a very Chicago show. And if you know about Chicago being founded by a Haitian, it kind of skirts the radical inclusive social justice tight ass perspective in modern times. Kolchak's world isn't very much different from modern Chicago. In fact, I see Chicago regressing into a car wreck of both the fifties, sixties and seventies. That's the only generations that people listen to out here. The rest don't give a fuck about the future or are battling out their insecurities. The night stalker is out there looking for the real dirt. And each episode he finds it in a sort of proto x-files sort of way. All the while, coming in contact with the gritty and corrupt nature of Chicago which is more scary than the supernatural guest stars per show. The effects are hilariously bad but the villains have a dream like quality to them. Are they for real? Is Kolchak just daydreaming his tabloid writing in a flashback or did that shit really happen? Jack the Ripper makes an appearance in the first episode as some weird silent mime jumping over construction sites, dodging police bullets and murdering indiscriminately. Kolchak gleefully and clumsily dodges his way out of everything. And every episode he gets in his quips outside of a writer's union in an office that I've passed a millions times on the elevated train on my way to the loop. He's out there in a very real and sensationalist way. But most people simply write him off as a loon. Every episode starts with him whistling alone in the newsroom. He's so fucking full of himself discovering every mystery nobody wants to admit. He's bathed in the loneliness of that newsroom in the early morning light. Just as the tune picks up on his confidence, the soundtrack kicks in to accompany him with a minor stabs and thrusts. Kolchak and Columbo aren't afraid to confront things. They aren't afraid to ask questions. To look dumb. To put themselves out there and fail. And then there's the guy who is sitting in his basement playing keyboard all day. Knowing it's all just one big meat market. Kolchak and Columbo aren't really solving any problems. Other than murders. Those already happened. At the end of a Columbo episode. Somebody gets caught. At the end of the Kolchak episode, nobody really believes him. But it was a good read. At the end of these blog entries, I'm just letting you know I'm still me. Neither a television character, a good actor, or a person with a resume than anyone is interested in. I'm getting pretty good at playing keyboard with Herbie Hancock though. Also pretty good at realizing there's nothing left for me to do but wait. <3 Tim

[jennycalendar]

Oh your “Jenny being alive would make Giles WORSE in season 6” sounds Fascinating please expand!! (If you would like)

took me a hot minute but thank you VERY kindly for enabling me <3

so as y'all know, the point i always hammer home on dreadfulcalendarwoman dot tumblr dot com is that giles's character arc starts and ends with jenny. like she is the turning point for him in EVERY way wrt the way he chooses to interact with the world, despite her never being top priority in his life. i actually think it is so deeply interesting that buffy's unwavering love for giles is not enough to pull him out of his determined isolation, simply because she is The Slayer and she's Fated To Die and while she's come to terms on some level with her death, giles doesn't ever completely seem able to come to terms with the concept of losing her. so it's actually not gonna ever be buffy who can spur giles towards growth, partly because of that and partly because of the fact that she cuts him SOOOOO much slack. like that's her dad! she wants him to take care of her! she will forgive SO much of him.

jenny does not do that with giles. jenny draws lines and sticks to them to the best of her abilities and we have seen in canon how badly giles deals with those lines -- like in ted, where she essentially says "you being around me is bad for my recovery right now" and he behaves like she killed his dog or something. but the thing is that he still does register and respect that she's got boundaries, and he does try in his own way (hindered as he is by what some might call an unhealthy obsession with jenny) to adhere to the rules she sets down. there is also a very clear problem here in that jenny is super fucking inconsistent and what she allows giles is completely changeable and arbitrary up until the dark age -- like she is deliberately yanking him around because she wants to see how complete her control over him is, and still doesn't totally believe that it's absolute. and then of course GILES thinks that jenny KNOWS she has absolute control over him and is deliberately USING it, which i think definitely contributes to the resentment and anger of the angelus mess. but that's just canon.

ANYWAY i wanted to talk about that because i think it sets the stage REALLY NICELY for giles and jenny's dynamic in a canon where she lives! jenny represents this sense of normalcy and stability in giles's life -- in a lot of ways, his obsession with her is centered around this idea of her as his future wife and long-term life partner, which is something he never thought he would get to have or even WANT to have with anybody. canonically, in season three, the loss of jenny causes giles to double down real hard in his role as a watcher -- reflected in his suddenly incredibly rigid and starchy wardrobe, but also in the way he's no longer pursuing connections outside the scooby gang at all. losing jenny in canon makes it clear to him that he has nothing but being a watcher, and that he will fail at that as well if he allows himself to love someone the way he loved her (see: acathla). and loving jenny brought giles such profound joy that i don't think he ever wants to really handle the concept of never having that again, so of course he throws himself into watcher stuff instead of confronting that.

but in a canon where jenny lives (even in a canon where they spend the third season continuing to be a fucked up mess, which i think is realistic -- it's gonna take time for them to build something healthy after all the we-are-never-ever-getting-back-togethers of season two), giles no longer has that reason to double down as a watcher! instead he has this enduring and consistent possibility that he is allowed to love somebody without it blowing up in his face, and i think that that would genuinely help him so much. he wouldn't need to adhere so rigidly to Watchery Standards, he wouldn't WANT to do the cruciamentum if it ran the risk of hurting buffy -- he would start letting go of this pessimistic, cynical view of the world and the fact that buffy's doomed to die, and work instead on cultivating a home and a surrogate family with jenny. like at his core giles is a homemaker and he longs for community and family and a sense of belonging, just like the rest of the scoobies! he canonically likes being cast as the patriarch but labels himself as an "uncle" because it still gives him an out. i don't think he'd want to wriggle out of familial attachment if this was a world where he never had to experience losing jenny.

THING IS THOUGH, this is still a world where he loses BUFFY. and while canon giles cultivated this very deliberate distance between himself and buffy in an attempt to prepare for the eventuality of her death, this version of giles is one who has started to genuinely view buffy as a daughter and support her in that way as well. there's no emotional distance that he can fall back on to support himself through his grief. he has lost his daughter. in so many ways that is worlds worse than losing jenny before he ever got the chance to really love her, and i think it would have the potential to wreck him on a level that rivals canon.

so season six giles would be handling his grief in the same way that canon giles did -- he's throwing himself into a role that distances himself from the trauma of losing somebody he loves. this time he is ACTIVELY trying to distance himself from buffy -- not "for her own good," but because he just refuses to handle his grief, and even her coming back wouldn't shake his sudden understanding of the fact that she could die just as horribly and permanently again. and so in THIS version of season six he is very aggressively defining himself as Jenny's Husband and trying to push jenny towards having their own biological children and absolutely ignoring the fact that because of his insistent refusal to acknowledge his loss, his marriage is falling apart. he no longer wants to view himself as a watcher or as connected to buffy in any way, because he never ever wants to lose her like that again. that's his daughter. he cannot love her anymore because losing her destroyed him and he can't go through it a second time.

and jenny is just having A Time because she is a smart cookie! she sees why this is happening and she wants to be able to help giles through it! but she literally can't help giles when he is refusing to admit that there's even a problem. and poor buffy who is still dealing with the trauma of being ripped out of heaven also has to deal with and in some ways cater to giles, whose grief prevents him from being there for her in the way that she was genuinely expecting from him. like i think this is a canon where buffy and giles's relationship could have been at the place for her to tell him the truth, but then she comes back and he is a fucking mess and she does the whole depressed repression thing and tries to take care of him. Which Does Not Go Over Well With Jenny.

i'm not sure how this gets solved. i actually wrote a chapter of this a billion years ago wherein jenny and buffy and spike and dawn start forming this weird and incredibly sad family unit after giles leaves for england, and jenny and buffy kinda mutually struggle with this idea of a mother/daughter relationship after years of weirdness between them. i think that the onus would really be on giles to pull himself out of it, because he would have effectively burned his bridges with his wife HARDCORE by that point -- but it would still be a version of giles who had three more years of emotional stability than in canon. there's always a chance.

#asks #restlesshush #meta #headcanon #long post #(a little flfksdh) #rupert giles #jenny calendar #giles and jenny and buffy #ANYWAY this is my ''canon can be worse sometimes'' agenda #i think giles letting himself be buffy's dad and then having her die would fuck him up SO supremely. #and i think giles WOULD let himself be buffy's dad in a world where jenny lived #because jenny allows him to be emotionally vulnerable and encourages him to connect with others #(which is a much shorter version of this post lmaooooo)

[leechonspeeddial]

Midnight Shift: Singer's Blood

Summary: Something wicked might have come to the Burger King. Either that, or someone really needs deodorant

wc: 1.7k

Read on ao3

"And just like that? I'm in your game?"

"Eh, 'just like that' is like not it, Gucci, but basically. Yeah, dude," I watched as sprite mini-me walked all over the map — a pixelated version of East Laddle's last remaining Burger King, complete with a rat king decomposing in the parking lot and Not Kevin's monster of a car covering an old blood stain.

"Call me Gucci again and I'll burn down your secret edibles stash"

"Nah, dude. The invitation for your family's gala was written in gold, and the card was imported from France. I think I'm entitled, yeah?" I rolled my eyes and cursed as the date to Alice's stupid party drew to a close. Two more days before the humans unknowingly walked into a vampire lair.  

It was cliché to say that I just wanted to be a normal kid, and there was a part of me that would be happy to explain everything I felt with the cliché. But I knew that wasn't it — spending a decade in high school made you realize how stifling normal could be. What I truly wanted was to be left alone; I was fed up of Alice treating my like one of her dolls and everyone enabling her. I was tired of having no thought that was truly for myself and Edward violating my privacy on a whim. It hurt to see Rosalie go from a doting mother to a distant figure when I no longer looked like a child, much like it hurt to see Bella see me as an extension of her beloved husband. 

Being able to hear all of them have sex only made everything much worse.

"Whatever. Just show me my final boss form. You said your roommate was hardcore into Junji Ito"

"Alright, but we only have the concept art for it, though. Abby got super pissed at us for smoking her artisanal weed, so she's not like making the sprite until we get her more, 'kay?" Straight Kevin minimized the game and navigated through his discord server. I left him to his search so I could refill my mello yello; it was always a good shift when Gay Kevin and Not Kevin were away from the store. They were objectively entertaining men, but they also got a little too intense about work here. Neither would let us blow off work in favour of our personal projects. 

Not since Wrestlemania Condimentalooza.

I slurped at my drink and absentmindedly wiped at the counter. Straight Kevin had his phone hooked to our sound system and he was blasting his playlist. His taste in music was…was one would call eclectic if one was feeling charitable – and boy, did I feel like I was making a million dollar donation. In the past hour alone, we had listened to swedish rap, some Nancy Sinatra, Blackpink, Tibetan throat singing, quebecois death metal, and Maroon 5. 

Fucking Maroon 5. 

But none of that compared to the song that was currently playing. It was less of an auditory experience, less of a musical treat, and more like being forcefully turned into a robot that was in the middle of short circuiting. Not only could you feel the beat, but you could see it too. It looked like flashing lights, and I was certain in that moment, that if it continued I would soon be able to taste sound.

And it was during that assault of my senses that I smelled it. Something unlike anything I had ever smelled before and an immeasurable sense of dread washed over me. The pit in my stomach felt like a black hole as I stood ramrod straight and saw a man I had never seen before enter the building alongside Jeremiah.

Nothing about him particularly stood out. He looked like any other white guy that just got out of the office. He was tall though, taller than anyone else here. Not unnaturally tall, mind you, but...something about his aura felt dangerous. I was on edge and no longer breathing, was this how it felt to be near il tuo cantante?

I made eye contact with the man and tried to place the smell, the flavour of it. It didn't taste enticing, if anything the rat king out back called to me more than the man did. But if this was what Bella smelled like when she was human, I had many questions for Edward.

"How's it hanging, Carrot top? Still working on that game, I see Shaggy," Jerimiah appeared oblivious of my behavior. Then again, glaring to our customers wasn't uncommon for me.

I looked away from the man and I saw Jerimiah set up a chess game on his table. Oh no.

"My man C.J. here is buying me lunch, so you can tell your anxious manager not to have a panic attack over more 'non-paying customers'"

"Nah, it's all cool, dude. Kev and Not Kev are on a supply run. Another of our suppliers dropped us like a hot potato"

"Cello beach, that's what they say, no?" Jeremiah shrugged and the man tilted his head.

"C'est la vie?" He questioned using a register of voice I had not expected. I hated it.

"Languages were never my thing. Math, now that's my jam," he dropped onto his chair and I decided I needed to clear my airways. I needed to get out of here. 

Now.

"Kev, take their order. I'm going to deal with the raccoons"

I didn't even wait for a response before I hauled ass out of there. Luckily, I had enough self control to not vampire yeet myself. 

Once outside I took a deep breath.

It was a deeply offensive smell, but at least it was a familiar one. Trash, raccoons, and decay, baby. 

Though, on second breath. Way less raccoons than last week. Significantly less. Maybe Gay Kevin had finally bested them, which shame if true. 

I leaned on the dumpster and tried to focus. It was important for me to figure out what the hell was going on, because damn if some paper pusher was the reason we left East Laddle. The Cullens would jump at the opportunity to decrease my autonomy if I ate some guy. 

Which, yeah. Murder shouldn't be taken lightly, but I'd never be able to have as much freedom as I did now.

God, it'd be fucked. They'd make me go back to school and somehow rationalize that decision as a good one. Somehow surrounding me with hundreds of humans after murdering one would make sense because they'd be there to keep an eye on me...

I was getting sidetracked again, back to the matter at hand. 

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, that man stank. Second, there was a part of me – and I didn’t know how potent that part might be – that wanted to murder him in cold blood. And third, I was deeply and irrationally terrified of him.

A trash can fell over with a loud clang and a empty jug of bleach rolled pass my feet. My eyes widened in realization – Jake had once told me that to him, the smell of vampires made his nose burn. It was an unpleasant odor that clung to everything a vampire touched. Similarly, Alice had gone on at length at how much she didn't like how the shifters smelled like.

The man didn't smell like a shifter, which only served to make me more uneasy. He clearly wasn't a vampire, his eyes were bright blue and I heard his heart beat, but my nose felt like burning back there. 

The more I stood in our nearly empty garbage zone, the more questions I had. The last time I felt this level of terror, the freaking Volturi had crossed the Atlantic to personally execute me. It was horrifying.

And exciting. This was something new and unheard of, a break from the monotony of the past 15 years. I needed to solve this mystery and I needed to do it stat. Not only because this was potentially life threatening – and I didn't mean just the vampires, whatever that man was could be a danger to the whole town – but also because the moment the Cullens found out about it, we'd be out the Minnesota, nay, the States, before I could even think to protest. 

I was so not letting the Cullens ruin this for me. This could be my Riverdale moment; Betty who? Resentment Cannibal was on the case. 

...

Ok. That was a bit cringe, but fuck it. I walked back in to the building with a mission in mind. I also washed by hands with our heavy duty soap for at least 20 seconds.

"–that incident he got kicked from kitchen duties. Which sucked, cuz CJ has some wicked knife skills," Jeremiah's voice carried to the back of the kitchen and I mentally prepared myself to go back to ground zero. 

"How didn't you notice the taste? Catfish smell so bad when you rupture their guts"

I walked to our registers just in time to see the man shrug. The chess game was still on going and they had pushed another table besides Jeremiah's to make space for the food. There was only one meal on the tray.

"You should have seen Tammy's face. She wanted to blow up so bad, but she couldn't because Susan was there," Jeremiah pitched his voice up and put on the worst British accent I had heard in my life, "'Oh, it's fine Mr. Singer. No big deal. Not a problem. Honest mistake. Happens to everyone!'" 

He took a bite from his burger before continuing. "That woman is so gone on CJ it makes her look stupid."

The man made a face while Straight Kevin laughed.

"She isn't 'gone' on me"

"'Oh Mr. Singer, is that a new coat? Did you do something new with you hair, it looks spiffing! What a nice strong man you are,'" Straight Kevin dissolved into giggles while Jeremiah kept up his imitation. "You have to tell her your taken, man. For all of our sakes"

I stepped forward to join the conversation, when my phone blew up, vibrating as if its life depended on it. I would have ignore it, but the notifications just kept coming. The three men looked back at me.

Fuck.

I fumbled as I took the phone out from my pocket and I checked the messages, all of the Cullens had send me a text and they all said the same thing.

Family emergency. Alice had a vision. Come home.

Double fuck.

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #my writing #midnight shift #renesmee cullen #twilight fanfiction

[sol-korolevas]

DISCORD BLURB REQUESTS;

the darkling x reader & nikolai x reader 

decided to upload them onto tumblr dot com for archiving purposes. :3c most of these are nsfw

—“I’m not going to touch you unless you beg.”

His touch waxes desire into your skin, igniting warmth through your bones. But it’s not enough, and you know he’s doing it on purpose. The Darkling is a man of insatiable greed, which is why he has you underneath him, limbs chained, and skin littered with countless markings of his own making. 

Though your body aches, it’s the fire within that burns you from the inside out. 

A soft whine escapes your lips as he brushes his knuckle against your nipple, a smirk playing on his face. You arch into his touch and you hear a low growl rumbling out of the Darkling’s throat. 

His hand travels lower, down your stomach, your hips, lingers - much to your frustration - at the dip between your inner thighs. 

So close, but not enough. 

“Stop teasing,” you say, your own voice a low and needy growl. Your jaw tenses as the Darkling tuts, before leaning down to press a chaste kiss on your cheek. 

“I’m not going to touch you unless you beg,” he whispers, moving his hand back onto the plane of your stomach. “You know how to beg don’t you, *volchitsa*?” 

A wolf never grovels, never closes her eyes in the face of her enemy. 

But tonight, under the covers of darkness and darkness himself, your body trembles and you relent. 

“Please, I need-I need—” your voice cuts off when you feel his cold finger brush against your clit. 

“And? What do you *need*?” He’s swirling it, just by the tip of his finger, a ghost of a feeling that forces you to gasp and arch forward again despite the restraints. 

“Please, touch me, fuck me; I want- no I need - you,” you say, letting out a groan as you feel his fingers stop. 

You hear him chuckle and you feel him press his lips once more on your cheek. 

But through the tether between the two of you, his own lust intertwines with yours. And it has grown the moment you answered him. 

“My little wolf,” he purrs as he slides a finger into your wet heat. “I’ll need to hear more of that from your mouth for the rest of the night.” 

 —“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, that’s me. I love to fuck.”

—“Somehow, i always seem to end up here. With you.” “Soulmate shit, it’s hardcore as hell.”

Tonight, it isn’t Tolya’s snores that woke you up. 

It’s the feeling of someone pressing to your backside, leaving no room in between your bodies that wakes you up. You know, by scent and touch along, who’s behind you, but before you sigh, you feel their hand pass under your cotton shirt. 

“For the love of—” you stop as Nikolai laughs softly, rolling a nipple between his fingers. You try to talk, but he shushes you with a light pinch. Just a foot from where you lay is Tamar, who could see everything that is happening should she wake. But before you can attempt a protest, you feel Nikolai squeeze your breast. “—Fuck.” 

You realize he’s having a grand time behind you as he laughs quietly, his hair tickling your neck. Nikolai never made such a daring move on you, especially when he knows very well what will happen should even one of his crew sees. Yet, it’s also quite like him to attempt this. 

And now, you’re torn between your lust and embarrassment. 

“Yes, my dear Sun Summoner, I do love to fuck,” he says, rolling his hips against your ass. You attempt to grind back, feeling his cock growing hard through his linen. He came to you wearing almost nothing, not even his coat. 

But, you have to give it to him for his preparedness. So you angle your thrust back and hear, to your delight, a choked groan slipping out of his mouth. The same mouth that had licked you until you were crying out his name a few nights prior. 

But when Tamar shifts in front of you, you flinch and shield your heated face with your hands. Behind you, Nikolai moves his attention down to the seam of your trouser. 

“Now, now, where’s the bold little [Name] I know so well?” Nikolai asks, hot breath fanning across your ear. He then presses an open-mouthed kiss onto the delicate shell, before nibbling against it. You can feel his grin when you tentatively slide your hands down. “There she is,” he says, with enthusiasm lacing each syllable. 

You begin to force yourself to relax into his touch as he moves his hand in a circle against your stomach. But then you become impatient, hand pushing his own down to where you want it the most. 

“This is the second night in a row,” you murmur, sighing as Nikolai tugs your trouser down. You’re already wet; you don’t need him to prep you, you think, as the feeling of his cock diminishes every other desire for fingers and tongue. “That I always end up here, in this position, with you.” 

You feel movement as Nikolai frees his cock. He slides down a little, hand smoothing down your arm as you wait. Somehow, the realization that you’re going to get fucked amongst a room of sleeping crew members only makes you want it more. 

“You’re the one person I’ve always wanted,” Nikolai says, kissing down your spine. “I think we’re soulmates right? It has to be why we’re always like this at night.” He slips a hand underneath your upper thigh and parts your leg. 

Your fingers cling onto the material underneath. “That’s not an excuse for your lewdness.”

A breath hitches within you as you feel his cock brush against your heat. You attempt to push against it, giving Nikolai silent permission to fuck you already. 

“You’ll need to repeat three phrases of ‘I love you, Nikolai’ before I fulfill your desire, love,” Nikolai says, nuzzling against your flesh. 

 But the idea of doing what Nikolai asked feels much harder than it should be. Tamar’s face is still facing yours when you look at her. 

Oh, you think, she’s really going to be mad in the morning. 

“I love you, Nikolai,” 

With one swift move, he pushes in, bottoming out with a guttural grown. You almost cry out in surprise at his sudden action. Nikolai shushes you again as he places his hand on your waist. 

“I love you, Nikolai,” you repeat, fingers digging into the ground. 

His thrusts are short and shallow - tossing between taunting and keeping quiet. 

“I love you—” you’re interrupted as this time, his cock slides deep into your heat. “—Nikolai.”

Next time, you’ll be the one who’ll surprise him. 

—“I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now.” “No, I'm not letting you go. It’s too early to get out of bed.”

The thick curtains obscure most of the sunlight streaming in. You cannot even tell if it’s morning outside until you feel Nikolai stir beside you. 

To your amusement, servants have come and lit the candles, just as you prefer.

Both of you are still very much naked and very much awake, but only you are making a move to rise. 

Immediately, two strong arms pull you back, easily bringing you flush against his chest as he presses a kiss on your forehead. 

“Saints it’s too early, the sun isn’t even out yet so neither should you,” Nikolai says softly. He groans and wraps his arms around you, keeping you from escaping. You crane your neck best you can, only for Nikolai to brush his knuckles against your stiffening nipple. 

You twitch, body squirming at the sudden contact. The blankets move away, revealing the expanse of skin all the way to your knees. And if you try, you can feel his cock stiffening again, just with a little—

“Nikolai!” 

Before he can bring himself to hover over you, you push back against him until he’s lying down on the bed again. A smirk plays on your face as you straddle him, tongue licking your lower lip. 

And like the arrogant King he is, he has his arms folded underneath his head. “My lovely volchitsa, I thought you wanted to rise early?” 

It’s rare he uses your nickname, but it means he’s looking forward to *something*. 

You know what that something is. And so you push back and align yourself with his cock, the previous night’s activity still present, sticky and tantalizing, against the flesh of your inner thighs. 

“I don’t care,” you tell him, nudging the tip against your lips, teasing him. “You’re underneath me right now and I want to fuck again until we’re both senseless.” 

Your mouth splits into a feral grin, all teeth glistening white and ready, as you slide down. A loud groan escapes you as you begin moving, feeling the rush of lust compelling you to toss aside all rational thoughts. Nikolai’s moaning lingers in your ear - as lewd and lascivious like you wanted - with his hands gripping your waist, keeping you above him. 

His cock’s always nice, always filling you up and—and—

“I’m going to come,” Nikolai says, mouth parting. 

You’re about to chide him for not lasting long before you see the beautiful blush spreading across his face. Or feel the way his hands tighten, nails digging into your skin as he starts picking up pace, fucking into you faster. 

And a dark thought enters your mind, enabling you to slow down your pace. You press his hands against your waist and watch as his jaws tense and the skin between his eyebrows pinch. 

“[Name], what are you—?” 

You stop him by reaching down and pressing an open-mouth kiss on the corner of his lips. “Nikolai, *you* can only come after *I* do.” 

His shoulders relax and he grins. You let his one hand move down until his thumb is rubbing at your clit, causing you to moan. Saints, Nikolai knows exactly what you need to satisfy you. 

“Is this what you want as well, love?” he questions, flicking at your clit without stopping. “But I wager you want more, I wager you want to come with a little more than just my thumb?” 

You don’t even bother to respond. A strangled cry slips out of your mouth as you begin to move again, that last rope of control snapping inside you. 

 “I fucking hate everything about you.”

“I would like you to be by my side.”

The Darkling’s stormy gaze lingers on your face. You feel more trapped than ever with his presence. Nothing more but a chained wolf; nothing more but an animal trapped inside the flesh cage of a body. As you’ve decided to be, as your mother wants you to be. 

“I hate you,” you say, voice low, teeth baring into a silent threat. A promise forged in violence and bloodshed. “Everything, fucking *everything*; I hate you so much.” 

Metal chains clink together as you move forward, an urge to lunge at his pale throat clawing through your ribs. Your breathing is coming out in rapid pulls and exhales and you think your chest is about to burst with the amount of fury rumbling within. 

And yet, the Darkling remains calm and still, his cold gaze trailing from your arms down to your body. A sigh, worn and weary, slips out of his mouth as he kneels on one leg. He’s close, you can feel the power — the suffocation it brings makes you gasp for breath. 

Through it all, still,  you still feel the pull towards him. 

“Stop this,” you tell him, just as he cups your cheek with his hand. 

He cannot be soft towards - he cannot be anything but cruel and merciless. 

And yet, as he tugs on your collar and trails his hand down your arm and teases the flesh of your neck with a brush of his fingers, you realize you would rather fall back to the old you he had nurtured. 

“Despite everything, *volchitsa*, you’re still eager for me,” he mutters into your skin, igniting the familiar warmth from within you. 

You can be that, you think. You can be that, or you can continue to crave defiance and blood. 

 “Try to stay quiet, understand?”“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“—and then I had to use my thigh strength to grip onto the back of the whale and plunge a spear into its spine.” Nikolai makes a motion to show you what he did. 

You laugh and applaud, before pushing yourself away from the ship’s railing. 

“So, Lady Sun Summoner, how was my story?” Nikolai asks with a large grin on his face. “Was it as dashing and heroic as the tales told in storybooks?”

“Hm, perhaps, but—” you pause, leaning against him. “—I think you deserve another reward, from me this time.”

Nikolai huffs, opening his mouth, before closing it. His eyes widen and you catch a glimmer of understanding as he pulls you flush towards him. “I knew you had something in mind when you gave me that look of yours.” 

He kisses you, deep and full, on your lips. 

Eventually, you pull away and lower yourself. Nikolai watches, mouth lingering on a smirk, his head moving only to take a look at the entrance to the deck below. 

You press a finger to your lips. “Try to be quiet for me, okay?” 

And in a swift movement, you have his cock out, its appearance causing your jaw to slacken. 

But because you’ve never taken a cock ever into your mouth, you start with a lick to the underside of his crown. Nikolai hisses and grabs you by your head, muttering a curse as he looks at you with need. 

A smirk curls onto your face as you give the tip of his cock a kiss. “So sensitive.” 

“This is, quite frankly, the first time someone has taken my cock in their mouth.” He lets out a breathy laugh. You don’t hear any embarrassment in it, but you still giggle. 

“Hollow your cheeks, love,” Nikolai then adds as he taps your cheek. “And don’t use teeth.” 

You do as he says, making sure to keep your teeth from touching his cock as you slowly inch it into your mouth. Nikolai’s hands are gripping the side of your head like a vice, even more so as you lightly squeeze the base. 

He’s long and thick and you figured you cannot have him all the way in. 

Your tongue swipes at the underside of his cock, tasting the flesh, letting it pulse against you. Nikolai’s hips are moving, bucking forward. Finally, you begin to move your head back and forth, while your hand continues to twist up and down what your mouth cannot take in. 

“Fuck, fuck, [Name], where did—*shit*!” Nikolai’s moans and curses only makes you eager to move fast. Though he’s bucking his hips like a mad dog, you eventually realize you can control your movement easier by yourself. 

All you need to do is groan, allowing the vibration to build against his growing pleasure. 

You can touch yourself - you want to - but tonight’s for him.

Hair is sticking to both of your faces as Nikolai bites his lip. For a fraction of a second you think he’s not going to make any noise at all. But then, just as you feel something salty and warm flood into your mouth, you hear a guttural growl slip out of him. 

He slumps down, body trembling, but face looking satiated.

“My dear [Name], you just made me a very happy man,” Nikolai tells you, brushing a hand through his hair. He then leans forward and takes you onto his lap. “I want to make it up to you.”

You laugh, brushing away the cum with your hand before licking it off. Nikolai’s eyes linger on your face, darkening with desire again. Then, you kiss him on the lips, allowing him the pleasure of sampling himself through you. 

“I’ve always wanted you to fuck me with your tongue,” you tell him, quietly. 

#the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #the darkling #general kirigan #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

[kazuwhora]

🎃 Leaving this emoji here so I know it's me

can I get a matchup?

I'm an INFP Gemini, 1.57m, and I use any pronouns, mostly they/them and she/her

I'm really pale and I wear glasses 24/7 bc without them I can only see things up to 10cm away from me.

my hair is wavy (the kind that if I don't style it correctly it will get straight but a frizzy kind of straight) and I keep changing it all the time.

I've had pink/blue hair, purple/blue, blonde ends, only pink, ginger for 2 years and now it's bright red. normally i like to let it grow and then cut it short, same with my bangs. so there's a lot of combinations here.

I love my hair and I take care of it obsessively, not only mine but my friend's too baji drop your hair care routine

what else... ?

you know that person that is in college but everyone assumes they're on middle school bc they look 13 and act like they're lost everyday everywhere like wth is going on? that's literally me everyone thinks I'm 13 I'm 19 people asked me if I'm a teacher's child too many times now it was getting annoying now being baby-faced is my personal joke

my body is??? hourglass shaped?? I guess?? I'm not thin enough to tell exactly

my back and shoulders are quite large bc I used to swim when I was little, now I take dance classes so all my body strength is in the lower part of my body ((bitch im thicc 😎😎

art I general is my hobbie, so dancing and singing and painting are my thing

I also used to take fighting classes when I was younger but my parents only took me for three months and then they stopped bc I would be wanting to fight god and the world

i still want to fight god and the world but now I don't have the tools to do so. how unfortunate.

I dress mostly in what makes me feel confortable? crop tops shorts and slippers every day. if not, hoodies and baggy pants. all black with rainbow socks.

about my personality I'm just-- idk?

bleh?

my whole childhood I was just the smart kid and now I'm not so I don't have a sense of personality.

my friends say that I have strong opinions and don't hold back

which is kinda true?

I do have a sense of justice and I will defend it until the end and somedays I will step up and defend them with words and physically if I have to.

but most of the time i just don't have a filter

most of the time my Inside Outs are staring into space like 😐 and just letting everything happen. so will say something like "Thats dumb. you can do better. I respect that you have a opinion. but I think your opinion is dumb" while having no expression in my face. I'll notice 3 seconds later how RUDE that was and start laughing bc omg that was mean.

other days I'm just a fleeing sunlight being excited about everything like a child would.

idk what else to say

my favorite avenger is natasha, I love genshin albedo my beloved rerun when, loona stan. lactose intolerant but I don't give a shit bc I love ice cream.

I feel like I talked so much but didn't say anything. cool. I'm awful at talking about myself but I tried.

bye 💜

ok so one of my best friends (probably my only friend ngl) is an infp and I feel like struggling with defining your personality is 100% an infp thing but u did a good job and ty for providing me with so much information!!!

im definitely matching you up with hanma idc if you love him or hate him this a ship I can get behind 👏🏻

first of all lets both take a moment to appreciate how fucking hot that man is like god fucking DAMN that first picture never fails to get me smfh

second of all. ur an infp. hanma is an entp. y'all have barely anything in common cognitively and its fucking AMAZING. I live for infp (and also intp for u intps there) and entp ships because the way that us entp's are in nature is completely opposite from an infp, while still sharing the perception function that allows both types to understand each other to some extent that just makes for a really fun match ok?? trust me on this.

he is obsessed with your individuality. as an extravert, not only does hanma benefit from your ability to access an introverted aspect that works to ease him from the burnout extraverts can face when they are unable to enable an introverted mindset every now and then, but he also learns to laugh both with you and at you- and genuinely. like you make him laugh. he thinks you're hilarious and as an entp who are typically known to be a little self obsessed, he didn't think it was possible to think anyone was hilarious except himself? he's like damn this girl is really like a kinder surprise.

he also really loves your art and finds that he's a little annoyed that he's not artistically inclined so he'll beg you to paint something for him and he wont stop until you do. just dont paint an ugly portrait of him on purpose or he's gonna get butthurt about it going on about how "damn is this how you see me?? </3 rip me I guess" and he wont shut up about it until you make it up to him and apologize for making a mean joke.

and then he just makes a joke towards you that's like 10x meaner and he WONT apologize for it. wallow in the revenge because its not going to end anytime soon.

lets be honest tho, when the two of you are together around others its a little overwhelming for people. hanma's entp-ness really brings out a side of you that leans on the extroverted side. you feed off his energy and the two of you are lowkey a little mean to people. but they deserve it, right? its their fault for being idiots. you enable each other hardcore here but its fine. they all know you're just being you and hanma is happy to have someone on his side.

you and hanma can fight god together btw <3 he's a little delulu

#matchup #this one is so funny to me because its so calm yet so chaotic

[sugar-petals]

I feel like I’m somewhat similar to a mistress and/or goddess but I am also interested in GFD. Is it possible to be into all 3?

yes! 👍 most lifestyle dommes will dabble in several categories: since there’s a lot to discover, although i know a fair share of ladies who prefer to specialize (e.g. roleplay) and it works out very well, too. the interesting thing is that you usually have the exact same goal — whether you’re a goddess one day, a mistress or soft domme the other day, there’s a common denominator. 

it’s the drive behind everything you branch into no matter what it is. one category usually expresses and translates that motivation the very best so you end up with that one as your favorite down the line. after a year or two the bell is gonna ring by itself imo, you don’t have to worry about how and whether you find out. 

example. i found that my motivation is going for the sub’s emotional (rather than physical or verbal) reaction. i find it so gratifying and something i can praise and fuel forever (signal that your goal is central is that you can and want to vastly expand it and it turns you on like nothing else). that’s also why i like sadism and torture the most even if i consider GFD one of the best sides to femdom ever in the same vein. GFD is actually very heavy on the reactions as well, just cozier, but it can be just as thrilling and emotional, simply in a way different atmosphere. 

having the same goal is the reason why some dommes can be into such opposing styles. it may be because they seek balance, but mostly, either provides them with the same kind of pleasure and satisfies the same need. some goals can be stereotypical like being empowered, others more surprising like creativity. it usually reflects in your favorite music picks already since that’s where you can conjure what you need very easily. 

in your case: the mistress could like fostering discipline because she loves her sub thriving on it. the gentle domme might wanna see her sub blossom by creating comfort. the goddess enjoys how her worshipper lightens up through their amiration towards her. the shared objective here is always seeing your sub open up. 

a domme’s common goal also speaks of her character and values of course. what she wants to enable through her authority, what she needs to feel good. nothing reflects you more. a shadow side sometimes comes with it, though even the most toxic doms have a warped or forgotten positive goal that they believe they can achieve with unsafe or unhealthy methods, or they ended up with a sub that can’t give to them what they need so it turns awry. in any way, your goal mirrors something far more profound than meets the eye.

as in my case, bringing out their emotions as a goal tells me i enjoy intensity, impact, an elusive-safe position, and the honesty/freedom of feelings that become heard and valued. in your example: if you want to see your partner blossom during play, you enjoy benevolence, even when what you carry out is the more hardcore kind of setup. you have a knack for supporting potential and don’t fear a person’s progress. this will show in every role you take on, and you will know even when you try and like something new that it’s because of that.

hope this helped! 🙏

#d/s talk #d/s ed #anon #ask #cub mail 🐆

[citadelsushi]

Writing meme: If you can't be happy, at least you can be drunk.

Hey! Remember forever ago when I asked for prompts and you sent me this one? Thank you and I finally wrote something for it. 

Apparently, Avory is angry tonight so, um, yeah. It is what it is. 

Avory Shepard wishes it rained in space. Never more so than when she was on Omega. The fresh scent of a spring rain would do a hell of a lot to improve the rotten, recycled air on a space station. She misses the shift in light on the clouds like natural neon as a storm rolled out and the steady pitter patter on a roof. She misses choosing whether to see the rain as a rebirth or as a decadent fuel to prolong her foul mood.

Tonight, tonight, she wants to be miserable and she’ll give about anything to drink herself to sleep under a soggy roof. It’s only fitting.

She snarls at the thought - so fucking dramatic - and swallows the rest of her beverage with bitter determination.

“No fuckin’ way.” A man’s dumbfounded voice rises louder than the other murmurs of surprise at her return to life. “If it ain’t Commander Shepard.” 

He sneers her name with enough venom that her spine goes rigid and her grip tightens on her glass, ready to smash it against his temple. She has no friends on Omega. No friends left anywhere, possibly. No armor or weapons, currently, forgone in hopes that any implanted Cerberus listening devices would be left behind as well. Well, unless they implanted them in her body, as well. She cringes at the thought. It’s not out of the realm of possibility. Apparently, nothing is.

“I thought you were dead.”

She doesn’t intend to give a response. But the man slides into a seat next to her and she shifts -subconsciously, enabling a wider range of motion - enough that she makes eye contact.

She thought he sounded familiar. She says his name flatly, “Finch.”

“You don’t seem as surprised to see me.”

Truthfully, she is a little shocked. It’s been over a year - over three years - since she last saw him on Earth. While his was not the largest or most impressive fire she’s ever set to a bridge, they had parted on barely civil terms. Seeing him here, now, made zero fucking sense.

In all cases except one. 

“Takes more than a rat to surprise me, anymore.”

The bartender approaches. Shepard lifts a finger, asks for one more. 

Finch tells the bartender, “On me.”

“Better make it two, then.” 

The bartender almost laughs.

“This what you’re up to these days? Came back to life just to drink in some shithole on Omega?”

Avory does laugh. Tight and hollow and bitter. “Worry about your fuckin’ self, Finch. Cerberus got you spying on me, too?” Lower, mostly to herself, she mutters, “Fuckin’ figures they’d dig up every old connection still living.” Completely to herself, she thinks she should just kill him now. One less thread for Cerberus to follow.

“Whoa, what? Cerberus? So you’ve heard?” 

“Been dead for two years, dumbass. I haven’t heard shit.”

“The Reds split up. Splintered, really. After you… ya’ know… it wasn’t the same.”

Ya’ know. She coughs a laugh. It’s a casual way to reference a massacre, even by her standards. 

But Finch rolls on, “A lot of us joined other merc groups. CAT 6. Blue Suns. Some of the more hardcore guys went to Cerberus.”

The bartender places two drinks in front of her and she eagerly takes a swig from the first glass. She didn’t plan to get fucked up when she snuck away from the SR2 - she couldn’t keep her guard up as high as she needed to around Miranda if she was drunk off her ass- but old habits die hard. And fuck if old friends didn’t bring those habits back to life with skill on par with the Lazarus project.

“Oh, so you’re hardcore, now?.”

“Don’t talk shit, Shepard. Word has it you're on a Cerberus ship now yourself.”

She finishes glass number one in two swallows. Her face is not nearly numb enough for how much she’s drunk. “Am I?” She looks around, feigning confusion. “And here I thought I was in a bar.”

“Shepard - ”

“The fuck did you think you’d accomplish, comin’ over here? A walk down memory lane?” She’s so angry her saliva feels like motor oil on her tongue. “Fill in the blanks in my record for Cerberus? Crazy, huh? They put my brain back together, all of me is here, but they don’t have all the details. Must drive them insane. They offer you a fat bonus if you got me to talk?”

Finch flinches. “You are such a fucking twat.”

“Good to see you, too, Finch.” She turns away from him and waves a dismissive hand. “Now fuck off.”

He stands from his seat and turns to leave, but turns on his heel at the last second, slams both palms on the bar. To the bartender, he calls, “Keep ‘em coming for this one. My tab.” And to Shepard, he says, “There. If you can’t be happy, at least you can be drunk.”

Shepard flashes an empty, satirical smile. “Who says I’m not happy?”

Finch eyes her warily and Shepard thinks, maybe, she is starting to feel the alcohol because it almost sounds like genuine concern in his voice when he says, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you happy. Not really.”

And then, to her genuine surprise, he does leave.

She watches him disappear into the crowd, stiffly moving through a throng of dancers, with her eyes narrowed. Internally cursing him for showing up. For making her remember the last time she saw him, the day she nearly wiped the Reds off the face of the Earth entirely. The night she returned to the SR1, the real Normandy. The night Kaidan had stayed up awaiting her return, tended to her wounds, told her he wasn’t going anywhere…  

Shepard spins on her seat back to the bar. She chugs the second glass until ice cubes fall down her chin. Fuck Cerberus. They had to have known. Had to have sent him to find her. Had to have crafted the perfect interaction, the perfect line, to throw her past happiness in her face. Because, damnit, she had been happy. She had been happy before the Reds betrayed her. Before Akuze. Before Alchera. Before Cerberus.

In that moment, whiskey on her tongue, wicked thoughts running rampant, a genuine smile stretched across her lips.

She had been happy before and she would be happy again. 

No matter who paid the price.

#prompt fill #Avory Shepard #this prompt just screamed ME2 angst to me #she is not a happy camper during that period #Earthborn Shepard #Mass Effect

[evakuality]

Druck s5, episode 8 - belated thoughts

Well, poor Nora is really struggling with this whole business of trying to act like everything’s fine, isn’t she?  And Josh.  I mean, he’s trying to help but he’s just a young kid so his thoughts are obviously ‘this helps me so it will help her too’ rather than what she actually needs.  It’s good that he knows there’s stuff going on with her, but this attempt to help her is so awkward and cringey.  It’s a real shame the doctor didn’t help her because now she has some odd things in her head about what’s wrong and thinks that sheer will and acting the way she always has will help her.  But it’s obvious that it’s getting worse and that she’s not feeling well at all.

I do still really love all these visually metaphoric ways of showing how disconnected and out of focus Nora is.  We’ve stopped getting as much ‘boxed in’ Nora and started getting a lot more of these ‘behind glass/foggy/out of focus shots.  Even when it’s not the ones designed to show her in the middle of the episodes, there’s still this ever-present sense of how this is.  Even when she’s ‘okay’ she’s really really not okay.  And I guess that’s the point of this clip - that she wants to connect but can’t.  Even in a time when things should be feeling ‘normal’ for her, she’s incapable of breaking out of the way she feels.  And it’s actually quite chilling to see the warm, almost approving motherly look Zoe gives her when she asks to drink.  Zoe!!  I know you’re also a young kid, but this is Nora!  She’s been so adamant about not drinking that you should perhaps try to find out why she’s changing her tune here.  This isn’t good!  This is no way to try to feel something again, and the way she knocked that back is really concerning.

‘I wasn’t focused enough’ - interesting way to tell the truth while obfuscating what she really means.  Literally she wasn’t focused/concentrating.  But of course the girls will not get the real meaning out of this.  I understand Ava here, too.  I haven’t seen any social media but I assume since she knows about the drinking and hanging out with Kieu My that it was posted somewhere.  So of course it looks bad.  Nora is trying very hard to keep herself together but she’s trying in all sorts of destructive ways.  Again, like Zoe, there should perhaps be some questions about WHY Nora has suddenly changed her tune.  But this anger is so understandable given the way Nora has been acting with them vs what was (presumably) put on social media.  All these people (Josh, Zoe, Fatou, Mailin and Ava) have noticed that things aren’t quite normal with Nora but none of them has hit quite onto what’s really happening.  Which makes sense.  Nora is very practised at putting on a face and she is still trying very hard to do so here.

This whole little series of shots while they’re walking is really interesting.  @sun-undone​ said in her series of videos about s3 (which you should all definitely watch!) that when Matteo and Sara were shown walking together the shots were framed in a way to cut Sara out of the frame often, showing the disconnect between the two of them.  And we have the same thing here, though for a different reason.  Nora feels disconnected and aloof from Josh and so when they’re walking he’s trying to make these connections right down to the things he’s saying (that class is bad without her, effectively that he’s finding space for her in his life) and she’s just ... cut off from it.  Literally in most parts of this.  He’s cut off or even out of shot for a lot of this walk.  She’s still really in denial about all this, isn’t she?  Josh is concerned enough to look up therapists for her to try to help her make sense of it all, and keeps trying to make those connections and she just pulls right back.  And I get that it’s really tough for her rn, but this isolation while she tries to hold herself together while saying she doesn’t need therapy is quite difficult.  The way he pushes to try to talk to her is well intentioned but it obviously pushes her too far (tbh I think she was looking for an excuse), but what’s really interesting is how she moves from ‘I don’t feel anything’ (the literal truth) to ‘I don’t feel anything for you’ (also the truth but a very very small part of it, and designed to push him away so she can go back to denial)

And we go straight back to the drinking (and to wearing makeup, showing a ‘face’ that once again isn’t her real one).  Zoe starts off enabling Nora’s drinking with the way she slides right along with the ‘this isn’t as disgusting as I always thought’ comments, but even Zoe has noticed that things aren’t quite where they should be with Nora and asks her about it.  But interestingly, she knows when Kiki calls that Nora drinking will set Kiki off so she tries to lie about it.  Of course, Nora seems to be already drunk and so she’s not hiding it super well. But again we see that for this group, lying about what’s going on is such second nature that they all fall into it.  But Nora’s feelings here are quite interesting - she quite literally wants to be told that the things she’s feeling (having feelings one minutes, none the next) is normal because she doesn’t want to have to go to therapy.  I don’t know for sure, but I suspect there’s some feelings there around becoming just like her mother and trying hard to avoid that.  But watching this slow motion train wreck with Fatou is super hard.  Nora’s so hyper and not herself and she’s not used to drinking so she’s just spilling everything and really just burning some bridges hardcore for herself.  I guess at least Zoe has finally properly woken up to the fact that this is reallllly not good and Nora is realllly not doing so well.  That whole last bit is really hard to watch, but at least Zoe found her and they definitely all know there’s something wrong now.  But it’s super hard to see her say she’s just like her mother when she’[s tried so hard for so long not to be.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - this family dynamic is probably the most interesting part of this season for me.  I’m interested to see where things go from here.

#for the anon who wanted to see some more thoughts #but I'm not going to put it in the tag #not that they ever showed up anayway