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zuko-always-lies · 3 years

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Unpopular Opinion: Zuko’s treatment of Mai is deeply toxic.

Mai is a character who is often maligned in the fandom, with it even occasionally being claimed that she was “abusive” toward Zuko. Any objective analysis of Mai’s behavior in her relationship with Zuko will instead find that she was, in fact, a shockingly good romantic partner, generally treating Zuko very well and being loyal to him far beyond reasonable expectation. Claims that Mai behaved toxically toward Zuko seem to be instead founded in misogynistic expectations that women be perfect caretakers for the men in their lives.

That is not to say that the Zuko-Mai relationship isn’t still deeply toxic. However, its toxicity stems from the manner which Zuko badly mistreats Mai, often in ways which devalue her. Much more under the cut.

Our story begins in the first half of Book 3. The vast majority of episodes there don’t show anything particularly toxic going on in the relationship. The most you can say is that they suggest that Zuko tends to dump his problems on others and doesn’t have best understanding of his girlfriend.

However, inevitably we must turn to “The Beach,” the episode which, by far, gets the most into the Zuko-Mai relationship. To say that Zuko doesn’t behave well toward Mai in this episode would be an understatement. I don’t speak here of Zuko’s unsuccessful attempts to please Mai early in the episode, but instead how badly he starts treating her beginning at the party:

Ruon Jian: Hey, first ones here, huh? Zuko: (cut to shot of Zuko and Mai walking side by side) Pft. He thinks he's so great. (to Mai) Well, what do you think of him? (they stop walking) Mai: I don't have any opinion about him. I hardly know him. Zuko: You like him, don't you? (Mai sighs and walks away, as Zuko looks angrily in the direction of Ruon Jian. The camera zooms in on Ruon Jian)

And

(Cut to shot of Ruon Jian leaning over Mai. Zuko rushes toward them angrily and pushes Ruon Jian away from her. Cut to shot of Ruon Jian straightening his hair.) Ruon Jian: Whoa. What are you doing? Zuko: (close-up shot of Zuko, angry) Stop talking to my girlfriend! Ruon Jian: (Ruon Jian approaches Zuko) Relax, it's just a party. (Zuko pushes Ruon Jian hard, sending him flying across the room, breaking a giant vase.) Mai: (Mai stands up and grabs Zuko's shoulder. He turns towards her.) Zuko, what is wrong with you?! Zuko: What's wrong with me?! Mai: (angrily) Your temper's out of control. You blow up over every little thing. You're so impatient and hot-headed and angry. Zuko: Well, at least I feel something...as opposed to you. You have no passion for anything. (raising his arms is the air) You're just a big "blah". Mai: (turning away from him) It's over, Zuko. We're done.

And:

(Zuko follows her and the camera pans down to the handprint, left alone on the porch. Cut to wide view of the camera panning down Ember Island Beach. Zuko and Azula are walking side by side toward Mai and Ty Lee. Close shot of Zuko looking toward Mai and then looking away. Close shot of Mai looking angry and a bit sad.) Mai: Hey... (Interrupted) Zuko: (close shot of Zuko) Where's your new boyfriend? (Mai turns away angrily. Zuko comes and sits next to her) Are you cold? (he puts his arm around her, but she slaps it away)

Zuko is acting in a massively controlling fashion toward Mai, motivated by his violent and rage-filled jealously. She literally can’t talk to a boy without Zuko flying into a jealous rage, trying to separate her from the person she’s talking to, and accusing her of emotional infidelity. In real life, this is considered a warning sign for an abusive relationship(although I don’t think Zuko has crossed the line into abusive yet).

“The Beach” also gives us this:

Mai: Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as high-strung and crazy as the rest of you. (Cut to over-head shot of the four teens. Zuko walks closer to the fire and Mai.) Zuko: I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once, (Close shot of Mai looking away and Zuko standing over her) instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up inside. She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?

Zuko tries to provoke Mai into having a fight with her best friend Ty Lee just so he can watch her express strong emotions. Zuko very much wants to Mai to be and act like someone she’s not, which has its own issues.

Overall, Zuko treats Mai quite poorly in “The Beach.” The episode ends with this:

Mai: I know one thing I care about... (Cut to shot of Mai smiling at Zuko) I care about you. (Mai and Zuko kiss. Azula claps, causing them to separate and turn toward Azula. The camera pans left to include her.)

Mai forgives Zuko and accepts him back without him acknowledging his behavior was wrong, apologizing for it, or giving her any guarantee that he will treat her better in the future. That’s unfortunate, as Zuko soon ends up treating her far, far worse than he ever did in this episode.

Zuko’s disregard for Mai cumulates with the manner he commits treason on the Day of Black Sun. Let us start our understanding of what he did wrong from the beginning. Breaking up with Mai via a letter which didn’t give her a real explanation was a real asshole move, but it’s not at the core of what he did wrong. For that, we need to turn to this conversation from “The Headband”:

Zuko: Can't you see we're busy? (He and Mai resume their "business".) Azula: (not to be put off) Oh, Mai... Ty Lee needs your help untangling her braid. Mai: (complaisantly) Sounds pretty serious. (She gets up and leaves. Walking past Azula, towards the camera, she shoots the princess a quick, poisonous glance behind her back.) Azula: So...I hear you've been to visit your Uncle Fatso in the prison tower. Zuko: (standing, incensed) That guard told you. Azula: (smugly) No, you did. Just now. Zuko: (sitting back down) Okay, you caught me. What is it that you want, Azula? Azula: (solicitiously) Actually, nothing. Believe it or not, I'm looking out for you. If people find out you've been to see Uncle, they'll think you're plotting with him. Just be careful, dum-dum.

Zuko has proven his loyalty to the Fire Nation beyond doubt, yet Azula is still very worried that him spending time with Iroh will get him accused of treason, because having a close association with traitors puts oneself under almost automatic suspicion of treason.

“Day of Black Sun, Part II”:

Zuko: First of all, in Ba Sing Se, it was Azula who took down the Avatar, not me. Fire Lord Ozai: Why would she lie to me about that? Zuko: Because the Avatar is not dead. He survived. Fire Lord Ozai: (alarmed) What?!

Zuko deliberately throws Azula under the bus, hurting her and reducing her status with Ozai as much possible while effectively accusing her of deliberately committing treason. He also deliberately pisses off Ozai as much as possible.

So where does this leave us? Mai is Zuko’s known girlfriend and extremely close associate. Automatically, the suspicion of knowing of Zuko’s treason ahead of time or being involved falls upon her. She’s in grave risk of being imprisoned, tortured, or executed, especially since Ozai seems not the type to be strictly concerned with ensuring those he punishes are guilty beyond reasonable doubt. The Fire Nation seems like a society which might have collective punishment(as historical East Asian societies, Nazi Germany, and the Stalinist Soviet Union did), and Mai might be under risk from that direction. Finally, Ozai might hurt her simply as way of retaliating against Zuko.

Normally Azula would almost certainly be able to protect her friend, even under these trying circumstances, given Azula’s prestige and accomplishments. However, Zuko has deliberately undermined Azula as much as possible and effectively accused her of committing treason herself, dramatically reducing the probability that she will be able to protect Mai. In fact, Mai stands risk of being accused of being involved in Azula’s effort to “conceal the fact that the Avatar survived,” given Mai’s close association with Azula and her close involvement in the events where the Avatar “died.” She’s thus under danger from two different directions.

“But Zuko had to betray his father and become good through aiding Team Avatar.” Yes, it’s a good thing he did so. But Zuko had other options than the course he adopted. He could have avoided confronting Ozai at all and instead focused on rescuing Iroh(interesting AU idea right here). He could have confronted Ozai but not thrown Azula under the bus, and that alone would have vastly reduced the risk to Mai(and also made Zuko out to be a better person, because deliberately throwing your younger sister under the bus and then abandoning her to the mercy of your abusive father is not a good look). Zuko could have killed Ozai right then and there during the eclipse. He even could have tried to lead Team Avatar to the bunker and tried to end the war right then and there.

“Zuko didn’t understand that he was placing Mai in danger.” Quite possible, but Zuko being so self-centered that he is unable of understanding that his actions can have negative effects on other people is a mark against him, not for him.

Now we turn to the Zuko’s behavior toward Mai in the rest of the third season. Let us start with “The Boiling Rock, Part 1”:

Sokka: (emphatically) I think your Uncle would be proud of you. Leaving your home to come help us, that's hard. Zuko: It wasn't that hard. Sokka: (Cut to a side view of the basket) Really? You didn't leave behind anyone you cared about? Zuko: Well I did have a girlfriend. Mai. Sokka: (He goes closer to Zuko with a surprised look on his face) That gloomy girl who sighs a lot? Zuko: (Cut back to show Zuko grinning goofily) Yeah. (his face turns serious) Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I'm a traitor. I couldn't drag her into it. Sokka: (Cut back to Sokka who leans back on the basket) My first girlfriend turned into the Moon. Zuko: (looks up) That's rough buddy

There are two things to unpack here. First, Zuko claims he “couldn’t drag her into it,” yet he already did, as I’ve illustrated above. Second, Zuko seems to expect that Mai would have followed him into treason if he asked her, that she would be willing to betray her nation, ideology, family, and friends just for the sake of her love for him. That’s an insane and pretty toxic expectation for Zuko to have for her relationship with him, especially since he wouldn’t do the same for her.

We also get more confirmation that Zuko doesn’t care at all about Ty Lee or Azula.

I don’t have a lot to say about the Zuko-Mai conversation during Boiling Rock, Part 2. The only things I would like to note are that Zuko is not very sorry for what he did, not very empathetic toward Mai’s pain, and doesn’t give Mai a real apology for his actions.

Of course, Mai proceeds to save Zuko’s life through committing treason in front of dozens of witnesses at Boiling Rock, something which places her own life in serous jeopardy. How does Zuko react to this?

Zuko: (Cut to a shocked Zuko) It's Mai. Azula: (Cut to a furious Azula) What is she doing?! (Cut to the backs of Azula and Ty Lee as Ty Lee shrugs and makes a "I don't know" noise. Cut to the gondola as it reaches the outer part of the crater. Cut to the inside of the entrance tower as the door opens and Suki rushes out followed by Sokka, Zuko, Hakoda and Chit Sang. Hakoda turns towards Chit Sang and points to the inside of the gondola. Chit Sang proceeds to throw the warden back in.) Hakoda: (Cut to the back of Hakoda's head looking at the warden lying on the floor) Sorry Warden, your record is officially broken. (Hakoda walks off screen while the warden continues to struggle on the floor. Cut to a front shot of the group as they run up a rocky incline.) Suki: Well, we made it out. Now what? Sokka: (Sokka stops and looks back at Zuko who pauses in his tracks, thinking) Zuko, what are you doing? Zuko: My sister was on that island. Sokka: Yeah and she's probably right behind us. So let's not stop. Zuko: What I mean is she must have come here somehow. (He runs to the edge of the rocks and looks down) There. (Cut to an area looking up at the edge of the cliff) That's our way out of here. (Camera pans down to reveal a Fire Nation zeppelin docked at the shore.

Zuko says Mai’s name once and then abandons her (to die?) with zero hesitation. This is probably objectively the correct decision. It would probably be extremely difficult and dangerous if not outright impossible to save Mai. The prison-break crew do have access to an airship, but it’s difficult to fly an airship over the lake’s thermals.

Yet that’s not my point. Zuko abandons Mai with zero hesitation, with zero anguish, with zero angst. He doesn’t even to seem consider the possibility that he should save her. Something tells me if Iroh had just saved Zuko’s life under identical circumstances and then was in imminent risk of harm, Zuko would act very differently, that Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda would have to drag him off that island.

Zuko’s complete disregard for Mai continues for the rest the series. Remember this exchange from “The Cave of Two Lovers”?

Zuko: (losing his patience) We're not taking any more chances with these plants! We need to get help. Iroh: But where are we going to go? We're enemies of the Earth Kingdom, and fugitives from the Fire Nation. Zuko: (musingly) If the Earth Kingdom, discovers us, they'll have us killed. Iroh: But if the Fire Nation discovers us, we'll be turned over to Azula.

Zuko considers being captured by Azula a worse fate than death!

But do we see Zuko worry once about Mai’s fate? Do we see angst about what might have happened to her? Do we see him make any effort to even discover her fate, much less rescue her?

No. In fact, Zuko launches a sophisticated operation to infiltrate a Fire Nation information center so that he can gain intelligence in order to help Katara murder someone so that she’ll like him, but he doesn’t even consider doing the same to find out about Mai’s fate so that he could potentially rescue her. Zuko doesn’t even mention Mai once after Boiling Rock until the very end of the series finale, even though she sacrificed herself to save him. Remember this exchange(“Sozin’s Comet, Part 3”):

Zuko: Sorry, but you're not going to become Fire Lord today. (jumps off Appa) I am. Azula: (laughs) You're hilarious. Katara: (standing beside Zuko) And you're going down. (The fire sage motions to crown Azula, but she raises her hand, signalling him to stop.) Azula: Wait. You want to be Fire Lord Fine. Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai! Zuko: You're on. (Katara turns to Zuko, surprised. Cut to a close up of Azula's lips as the curls into a smile. Cut back to Katara and Zuko.) Katara: What are you doing? She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both so she is trying to separate us. Zuko: I know. But I can take her this time. Katara: But even you admitted to your Uncle that you would need help facing Azula. Zuko: There's something off about her, I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt. (Fade to a shot of the courtyard from the side. The camera pans from Zuko kneeling on the right end to Azula kneeling on the left end. Cut to a shot of Zuko rising and turning around, then cut to a shot of Azula rising. Each can be seen behind the other. Cut to a shot of Azula from the front turning and removing the Fire Lord robes.) Azula: I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother. Zuko: (in his stance) No, you're not.

Notice something? Zuko doesn’t demand to know what happened to Mai! It’s almost like he forgot she existed!

Now we turn to the final infamous exchange(“Sozin’s Comet, Part 4”):

Mai:(off screen) You need some help with that? (He looks up surprised and moves aside to reveal Mai leaning against the doorway. Cut to a close up of Mai as she walks towards Zuko.) Zuko: (Cut to a delighted Zuko) Mai! (Walks off screen) You're ok. (Cut to an area behind Mai's back as Zuko opens his arms out in a hug) They let you out of prison? (Mai walks behind Zuko and lifts up his empty robe sleeve.) Mai: My uncle (Zuko puts his arms through the sleeve) pulled some strings, (she proceeds to fasten his robe) and it doesn't hurt when the new Fire Lord is your boyfriend. (She walks in front of Zuko and places a hand on his chest) Zuko: So does this mean you don't hate me anymore? Mai: (she blushes) I think it means... (Cut to a close up of the couple) I actually (places a hand on Zuko's cheek) kind of like you. (They lean in for a kiss and part a fewseconds later, looking into each other's eyes happily) But don't ever (She jabs a finger into Zuko's shoulder and Zuko's eye traces the movement of her finger) break up (She lifts her finger into the air and Zuko's eyes still follows it) with me again. (She jabs her finger into Zuko's shoulder one last time and Zuko smiles goofily. They embrace and the camera zooms out slowly.

Zuko seems surprised to learn that Mai is OK, almost like he made no effort to find out her fate once he took charge of the Fire Nation. And indeed, his first acts as leader of the Fire Nation were not to find out what happened to her or, if he actually knew, to get her released from prison. Mai only got released from prison when her uncle and his connections got sufficiently confident that Zuko had been completely accepted as the new leader to release a massive traitor completely on their own initiative. This was quite possibly weeks after Azula-Zuko Agni Kai, yet he made no apparent effort to get her released. It’s almost like Zuko completely forgot about Mai, even though she sacrificed herself to save him.

And, of course, Zuko doesn’t accept responsibility for any of the awful ways he treated Mai, much less apologize to her or offer any guarantee he will behave better in the future. Mai still forgives him anyways, just like she did in “The Beach,” only for Zuko to continue to screw her over. There is something deeply depressing here, as there’s every reason to believe that Zuko will screw over Mai over, devalue her, and disregard her well-being, desires, and interests again the moment it’s convenient for him to do so. He certainly has not recognized that his toxic behavior here is something he needs to stop doing. Ironically, the comics get this right by having Zuko try to use his power as Firelord to order Mai to stay his girlfriend.

Ultimately, Zuko loves Mai and cares about her deeply, yet he still treats her as a tool and acts like she exists to serve him. It reminds me how show! canon Ozai genuinely loved show! canon Ursa, but still used her as a tool and threw her away. Honestly, I doubt 16-year-old Zuko is really ready for any romantic relationship at all, given his often toxic behavior, his trauma, and the incredibly stressful position he’s placed in at the end of the series.

#Azula #Zuko #Mai #Ty Lee #Dangerous Ladies #Ozai #Zuko meta #ATLA meta #meta #Unpopular opinion

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sobdasha · 3 years

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been thinking about the really weird dynamics of the Honda family

and the ways they parallel with the Souma family.

Tohru's relationship with Grandpa Honda has always been really inscrutable to me. It seems like Kyouko liked him quite a lot, and the feeling was mutual, so their relationship ought to be close, right? But despite relying on Grandpa around the time of Katsuya's funeral, I get the impression that Kyouko and Grandpa aren't very close after that? He takes Tohru in after Kyouko's funeral, but doesn't provide a place for her to stay during the renovations, and they don't seem to keep in touch.

I figured this was for the convenience of the plot. If Tohru was close with her grandpa, then she wouldn't have no family, no one left, after her mom died. If Tohru had somewhere else to go, it wouldn't be so vital that she be allowed to keep living in the Souma house.

I've been thinking about Shiki, though, and about Akito and Shigure as parents within the Souma estate, and I'm wondering now if this wasn't actually a parallel playing out in brilliant Takaya fashion.

Starting with a recap, because a summary of info is always useful to me:

Kyouko grows up in a family that is very much about Keeping Up Appearances and Knowing Your Place. Her dad is verbally and emotionally abusive and isn't above slapping people either. Her mother isn't affectionate and doesn't protect her, probably because she's primarily concerned with protecting herself from the fallout when anything sets off her abusive husband. Kyouko has never had her emotional needs met and she's never been socialized to see others as real people with real feelings. Before even 7th grade she's become part of the gang scene in a cry for help and attention, and because these are the only people she can kind of understand. Her father has told her she's kicked out of the house at least once prior before he finally makes good on it and disinherits her at the end of 9th grade.

Katsuya and his younger sister grow up in a family that is also very much about Traditional Values and Keeping Up Appearances. Grandpa Honda is a teacher, and he puts a big emphasis on Proper Manners (and probably also other things like Good Grades, Fitting In, and Knowing Your Place). He's stern and pressures Katsuya to become a teacher as well. We don't know what Katsuya's mother was like, but I'm assuming she was also not particularly affectionate. It's only after her illness and passing, probably when Katsuya is somewhere around 20, that Grandpa Honda reevaluates his life and what's most important to him.

From a young age, Katsuya flew under the radar by heavily masking--ie, he made a cardboard cutout of what society expected him to be, so Polite, Quiet, Respectable, Studying To Become A Teacher, while underneath it all being filled with apathy, resentment, and loneliness. His moral compass is deeply skewed--see his teasing of people, his attitude of looking down on people, his bragging admittance to using his father's influence to get away with things, his creepy expressions that are identical to those of The Root Of All Evil (ie, Shigure). He has no real interpersonal relationships--family, friend, or romantic. He's a 23 year old TA who is fixated on and marries a 15 year old girl because she's the first person he ever recognized as human--he saw her in the middle of a violent meltdown and it was the first time he was ever really struck by the realization that someone else might feel the same feelings he does.

(Which, in addition to the dubious legality and widely-regarded ickiness, is just downright pathetic. I'm sorry, but it's true. Fruits Basket itself backs me up.)

The first parallel that jumps out at me is between the stories of Kyouko and Katsuya, and Ren and Akira:

Ren is an Outsider. We don't know what her family life was before joining the Souma clan, but based on everything about her I feel it's safe to assume it was also abusive. A large percentage of the Souma family is against the marriage, but Akira is adamant because Ren is the first person he's ever connected with. Similarly, the Honda family (save Grandpa) disapproves of Kyouko and she remains forever an outsider to them.

In Kyouko's case, Katsuya is able to ditch his family and start fresh with Kyouko. Ren, on the other hand, has to live within the toxic Souma family to be with Akira. Both husbands die, leaving a grieving widow and child behind. Kyouko treasures her daughter and finds a new reason to live in Tohru, away from the rest of the Honda family; Ren, already jealous of Akito for getting in the way of her relationship with her husband (and not dealing well with being pulled even further into the Souma family bullshit with all this curse stuff), and trapped within the toxic Souma family with no one on her side, chooses to perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

The thing I've been thinking about most is the parallels between Tohru and the Honda family and Shiki and the Souma family:

As I said before, Tohru's relationship with Grandpa Honda is very strange. It's not just me--Yuki and Kyou make comments to this effect also, I'm pretty sure. But I think I can finally make sense of it now, if I think of it in light of Shiki.

I think there are a couple chapters of FBA out there that I haven't read (the one with Akito, and were there other chapters beyond volume 3?), but Mutsuki implies--and I think we should take this at face value--that Akito and Shigure hope that Shiki will leave the Souma family. They are not kicking their child out. They want this as loving parents, who have done their best to raise their child in a good home in the midst of a very toxic environment. I like to think they will do a good job of explaining this to Shiki, explicitly and clearly. Akito could have walked away from the Souma family, but she chose to stay because she had a hand in perpetuating the toxicity and generational abuse in the Souma family and she is taking responsibility for trying to end the cycle. She has finally stepped up as the head of the family. She could have walked away, but she didn't.

Shiki had no hand in making the Souma family what it is. Shiki is not obligated in any way to put up with that bullshit. Shiki can and should walk away from that toxic environment, go somewhere new, and be happy. He and his parents and all his non-toxic relatives can visit and call each other and still maintain relationships, but in healthier places, as everyone learned to do at the end of Fruits Basket.

This, I believe, is what Grandpa is also doing for Tohru. He's just less explicit and messes it up at first.

I don't know exactly why we don't see more of Grandpa's relationship with Kyouko and Tohru after Katsuya's death. Is it because Tohru, as the narrator, is prioritizing Only Me And My Mom stories? Is it because Kyouko didn't want to be a burden (is that part of where Tohru absorbed it)? Is it because Kyouko couldn't maintain a good relationship with Grandpa with the Honda Family Toxicity in the background?

The Honda family toxicity shows up in full force again when Kyouko dies. Tohru is a riceball that doesn't belong in the Honda family fruits basket. No one, save Grandpa, will take her in.

And then he invites his daughter's family, which he knows is toxic and will abuse Tohru, in to live with the two of them.

I don't know who came up with the idea--if it's Grandpa, that's a bit cold, as he should be caring for Tohru. If it's his daughter ("Dad, you're getting older, you should be living with us so we can take care of you") that does make sense, both as a reasonable social expectation (which dad raised her to adhere to) and as a power move (the Outsider shouldn't be getting so cozy with dad, and dad's inheritance, without supervision). I'm leaning towards the daughter, as I don't think the family combining was intended to get Tohru to leave. I think the remodel, though, was something Grandpa Honda saw as a good opportunity to convince Tohru to leave the Hondas.

I think "I'm having the house remodeled and I'm staying with my daughter, but you weren't invited, I could pull my weight or maybe you could find your own accommodations with a friend?" was intended to give Tohru permission to not feel obligated to the Honda family. I think it was intended to let Tohru find someplace she would actually be happy, a found family living situation where she could flourish. I think Granpda sincerely thought Tohru would move in with Hanajima, instead of into a tent, and realize that she was so much happier and fulfilled there that she never came back to the toxic Honda family and had no regrets.

Grandpa's judgment was a little iffy there but he tried.

I'm realizing that, if everyone moved into Grandpa's house because it was bigger, and it's being remodeled specifically for that purpose...the fact that Tohru is sharing a room with her cousin is very significant. Grandpa was so confident, there is no place for Tohru in that house. Tohru was never supposed to come back after the remodel.

(I don't know that much about houses so it's possible that they just didn't have room; depending on whether that's the uncle or the son, you've got to have 4 or 5 separate bedrooms, which I guess could be a lot. But this is a manga, they aren't strictly constrained to realism, and Takaya makes every damn detail count.)

Tohru isn't supposed to come back after the remodel, but she does. She does, and the family is toxic to her, and Grandpa tells her more overtly that she is not obligated to live here out of familial loyalty. If there's somewhere else Tohru is happier, even if it's a really unconventional living situation, she should feel welcome to choose that instead.

Grandpa's a parallel to Akito here. He's been becoming aware, since his wife died, that his priorities were all wrong. That he raised his children wrong. That Katsuya appeared to have no real emotions and had never connected with anyone outside of Kyouko and their daughter. (Maybe he learned to make work friends?? But I doubt it.) That his daughter is judgmental and cares more about the appearance of being proper than about not being rude.

Don't think poorly of him, Grandpa says. Deep down, they're just evil people. But Grandpa recognizes that he had a hand in creating those evil people. And instead of being like Machi's mom, who goes "well maybe I fucked up" and then throws her out of the family, Grandpa takes responsibility for the family he made. He recognizes that he raised his kids in a way that caused them to be shallow and rude and to think of people as means to an end, and he also recognizes that it would be shitty to reject his kids for turning out exactly as he raised them. He has to live with them (and his choices), he says, but Tohru doesn't.

Looking at it like that, I respect Grandpa Honda more. He seemed a bit wishy-washy before--useful for some plot and character development points, but wishy-washy all the same. But it's a tough decision, and having to prioritize people is always shitty. Grandpa not rejecting his daughter means sacrificing a stable home for Tohru. Akito staying as the head of the Souma family so she can ensure the freedom of the former Zodiac means that her child will be subjected to the same generational abuse, no matter how loving and supportive of a home life she and Shigure provide.

But they're both trying to do a right thing in a crappy situation.

And Tohru, like so many of the former Zodiac, does find happiness and fulfillment in the new family she's able to make for herself. She learns to make her world bigger, and she learns that leaving doesn't have to be the same as cutting ties. And so I'm very optimistic that Shiki will find the same.

#sobdasha fic adjacent #fruits basket #fruits basket another

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onlyplatonicirl · 3 years

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please read the whole thing.

Hi guys i don’t know what the fuck happened but let’s just take a moment to breathe.

Remember that Drama is only drama if enough people care. The more it’s passed around and talked about and the more people it scares, the more the fire becomes lit and flames run rampant causes havoc.

Address it, and then put it to the side. Ignore it. It’s not worth completely ruining our fun.

I looked through the “evidence” folder. Evidence is put in quotes because I don’t really know what the objective was there. Some of the screenshots were me venting about COMPLETELY unrelated things, which was private and meant for friends only. There was one screenshot in there venting about how the synni drama was affecting me. It was unbelievably rude and childish to make that public.

Also, I made everyone from blucci gang swear to not leak messages. Not because we were being nasty, but because I would often vent there, because I trusted the people who I was talking to, and sometimes when I was having an awful day I just wanted to talk to the people closest to me. I wanted a place where people could feel comfortable that what they are saying will not be public to strangers, as my server was open to anyone.

If anything, the “evidence” doc is just a sign of how little my trust meant.

Blucci Gang is not an exclusive VIP club for shit talking. It’s just a role on discord. That I give to people who are my friends. The role was blue, and we called it blucci gang because it sounds funny.

My little brother is in blucci gang, Synni is in blucci gang, my friends from SCHOOL are in blucci gang. Because I love them. That’s all it is. They aren’t even active.

I am not responsible for the behavior of everyone 6 months ago. I’m sorry that happened.

I am also not interested in causing problems where none exist. There was absolutely no reason this had to happen, other than to cause chaos and start fights.

If you want to make someone take accountability and apologize, that’s not how you do it. Writing a 10 page call out doc like a 10 year old on twitter with no hobbies is not really the way to go.

This is a lesson for everyone reading this. If you get into friend drama, and you get into a fight, unless the person is racist/homophobic/a groomer/a manipulator/someone with genuinely bad intentions, then do not make it fucking public. End of story, period, full stop. You just make a bad situation ten thousand times worse. If anyone has any questions or concerns, feel free to DM me. I will answer everything as honestly as possibly.

But I do know one thing:

This drama was immature, pointing fingers, unecessary, and disruptive to all. it was uncessisarily hostile, and made people who are not bad people look like toxic monsters. No body was “celebrating” anyone’s leave. Don’t paint a false picture, you look like a child.

Not to mention the mass anxiety and paranoia. We have put all of our friend event plans on hold. The majority of my friends are taking tomorrow off from the internet due to the hysteria. I personally felt physically sick during this whole ordeal. I try my hardest to be the best I can be and take the most logical outcome, yet I’ve learned that no matter what I do, no matter how good I try to be, there will always be someone who dislikes me for it.

It’s just part of life.

Let’s all move on.

If you still hold beef with us after 6 months, just DNI, block, and move on. I’m sorry you were wronged. I hope that you find wonderful friends in the future that uplift you and you find a community where you belong. Not everyone is meant to click and be besties.

“Showing my true colors” lmao what is this, taking the mask off a scooby-doo criminal? I’m a teenage girl who does writes lame fanfiction about sans undertale and you’re making it seem like I love manipulating people and tricking them into liking me or something so I can make them cry????? Lol I like making people cry because of angst reasons, but if someone’s even genuinely mildly disappointed in me I literally will have trouble sleeping for the next week. Maybe in the future don’t make weird baseless claims like that for the sole purpose of causing chaos and dragging my face thru the mud lol. It spreads weird nasty rumors.

And no I’m not “apologizing because I got called out” lmao, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

I’m apologizing because I mean it. I was not part of any of this drama because I don’t give a single damn, and conflict with others makes me nervous. I have a bad habit of putting myself so deeply in other people’s shoes I get second hand stress. During the synni drama, I went many sleepless nights because all the insults and mockery she was recieving felt like it was directly on me. The blucci gang can literally back me up when I say I HAVE fought them on how they behave around those they criticize. The criticism is never baseless, we’re not making fun of random people because we’re dickheads. It’s usually that we have repeated incidents of disruptive behavior over and over and over again, but I AGREE that people’s annoyance with them was over the top. In all of those “evidence” screenshots which were inappropriately leaked, I was never hopping on some sort of band wagon and making fun of people like a dick.

I love my friends. Are they perfect? No. Do they get over-emotional sometimes? Sure. Do I get over emotional sometimes? Of course. Because we’re people.

I will not post anything else relating to this drama, and I am blocking those involved. I do not want negativity in the online space I come to be happy when my irl life is falling apart.

I love you all and I’m sorry you had to witness this trainwreck. We will be arriving at the anime AU shortly <3

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beyond-far-horizons · 4 years

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Analysing the Zutara Cave Scene from a Writing and Psychological perspective

Forgive me, I’m an enthusiastic newbie to the ATLA fandom and Zutara (mainly because I knew the ship was perfect for me but was not canon and so I held off watching it for years.) So I know you’ve heard it all before but I wanted to break down this famous scene in more depth from my background as both a writer and a student of psychology. It’s also important since the age old ship wars are being resurrected (which I want no part of) and Zutara and this scene has been looked down on and belittled from some quarters.

Warning - Wall of Text TM incoming!

The main thing that gets most people is these mortal enemies going from hating each other to being open and vulnerable in about five minutes of screen time. I get the impression more time and therefore more conversation has gone on off screen, but it’s amazing that Katara goes from tirade at the literal face of the Fire Nation (a country whose plagued her people and killed her mother, and Zuko himself who has hunted her and her friends, captured her at least twice and has had several intense fights with her)

to tenderly touching Zuko’s face and “let me use our one of its kind Holy Water TM to maybe heal your face.”

Also as others have pointed out Zuko lets this ‘peasant’ (who defeated him, wounded his pride and foiled his lifelong goal several times) touch his scar when he doesn’t let anyone else do that at this point, even girls he’s been close to.

I doubt many Zutara shippers think this happened because the two suddenly decided the other was hot, even though there might be an unconscious physical attraction under all the animosity. But no-one can deny the writers were trying to show a shared connection that makes them open up to each other. That to me makes the relationship much deeper whether it’s platonic or romantic.

Katara, despite her understandable rage at Zuko, is surprisingly open to forgiving and helping him as soon as he -

a) mentions they have something in common - the Fire Nation being responsible in some way for the loss of their mothers.

b) his resolution to make his own destiny and overcome his difficult past associated with the scar.

I just love this about her character. She’s passionate, feisty and full of integrity but she can’t stop herself wanting to help make things better, even to one of her worst enemies. Her compassion is such a strength and it comes out even more when she realises she’s accidentally hurt his feelings re his face.

Zuko in turn is softer with her than I’ve ever seen him with others, even Iroh most of the time. He doesn’t get angry or even really defensive and he opens up about his mother for the first time. Extraordinary considering he’s talking to an enemy.

But this isn’t the first time he’s tried to win Katara over against his normal combative persona. When he captured her in Ep 9 you’d expect him to threaten her, especially surrounded by his men and bloodthirsty pirates. Instead he asks for her understanding and tells her (the little peasant and enemy of the Fire Nation) about his lost honour.

He then goes momentarily into full skeevy villain mode (which I loved) and offers her necklace back by placing it round her neck. (As an aside, yes this was totally the wrong tactic considering it was her mother’s who the Fire Nation killed, but I do love that he unknowingly offered her a Water Tribe betrothal necklace.)

Analysing it more deeply from a writing and psychology perspective, I’d say Katara represents the integrity and vulnerability that is at the core of Zuko’s character - the thing that got him that scar and banishment from his warlike family.

The same side he struggles with and that Iroh tries to heal and encourage within him. It’s masterly from a writing POV that they brought this mirror up and allowed Zuko to connect and own this aspect of himself again briefly before Azula (the opposite representation and Zuko’s ‘shadow’) literally crashes the party. This is truly his ‘crossroads of destiny’, raising the stakes and therefore making us - the audience - ache all the more when Zuko makes the wrong but understandable decision to choose Azula and his family’s version of him and betray not just Katara but Iroh too (dat angst.)

(As an aside look at the framing of the above shot. They do this alot showing him literally caught between two sides. In the previous scene with Azula and Iroh, they show both the unscarred and then scarred profile of Zuko to show the ‘two sides of him’ symbolically represented by Azula and Iroh.)

Two sides, Fire and Water, the battle of opposites and the bringing of balance is of course the core of ATLA, and Zuko and Katara’s fraught relationship sums this theme up perfectly. Another reason so many still ship them and feel aggrieved by the non-canon ending.

I think Zuko is so wounded by Katara’s refusal to forgive him and so determined to earn that forgiveness is because she represents his true ‘honour’ - the right way to be - to fight for balance and justice with integrity no matter what. Thus he must make amends to her, not just as someone he has wronged, but as the mirror of that aspect in himself.

Thematically this is tied up beautifully in him asking her to join him to defeat Azula in the final season and them working together to do so.

(As another aside, the theme of balance and Yin and Yang is also mirrored in Zuko and Katara’s relationship and character development. At the start Katara is the caring, altruistic almost motherly sort and Zuko is the angry, aggressive pursuer. However like Yin and Yang that contain an aspect of the other within them, whenever Katara meets Zuko she becomes more aggressive and is allowed to process her grief and anger, unlike with her friends. Zuko, in turn is often softened by her, reawakening his compassion and deeper feelings. Yes these aspects are also fostered by others, but Season 3 highlights this dynamic to Zutara allowing Katara to address her anger and Zuko to practice caregiving and support.)

Coming back to the Cave Scene - the most poignant part for me isn’t actually the face touch (even though I love it). It’s the final glance between them as Katara and Aang leave. Katara looks back worried, it’s as if she can sense the threshold Zuko is on and feels torn between staying and supporting him and her duty to Aang. I feel if they had had more time together Azula would have had less chance to turn Zuko.

He looks back at her softly and there’s a beautiful musical cue, hinting at things unsaid and unfinished, she gives him a final lingering glance, still anxious, then goes.

We all know what happens next.

Conclusion

Looking at this from a purely plot point of view it -

raises the emotional stakes and therefore make Zuko’s betrayal hurt worse.

Sets up Zuko knowing about Katara’s healing abilities and Spirit Water so he knows there is a possibility the Avatar could be saved. This all plays into the shenanigans of Book 3, letting Zuko go back to the Fire Nation, Azula giving him the credit and then letting down her father etc.

Giving Zuko more character development work to earn everyone’s trust esp Katara’s when he finally makes the right choice.

However I’m surprised that Bryke didn’t realise how this episode would look to the eyes of most fans esp Zutarians. Yes you could say it’s hetero-normative and why can’t they be just platonic etc but it was the Noughties, it’s a kids show and they are blatantly playing into those well known tropes - Zuko’s previous verging-on flirtatious treatment of Katara, his uncharacteristic softness and openness with her, her touching his scar, the music, their lingering glances, Aang’s jealous look (you could argue it was animosity towards his enemy but while we get this from Zuko, it is definitely played as suspicion about a potential rival so close to ‘his girl’ from Aang’s side.)

Ultimately the writers didn’t choose the romantic route, which I feel is a real shame and missed opportunity because of the depth of feeling and potential there. But what I really resent is when people act like Zutarians were stupid and/or biased for seeing and loving that potential. I hope this analysis has shown that the romantic subtext was strong (and much more believable for me than with Katara and Aang) and in line with the core themes of ATLA itself. This also refutes the suggestion that Zutara was somehow dark, toxic or shallow cos ‘he’s a bad boy’ or something.

Zuko was owning his own struggles, emotions and destiny in this scene, it’s why Katara finally opens up to him. She doesn’t have to ‘do the work for him’, but she supports him in it as he supports her later on when he earns her forgiveness. And that’s why I love it!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk...

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #avatar the last airbender #meta #my meta #my writing #long post is long #wall of text tm #anti-kataang #better put that in there even though I don't really go into the rival ship #antis please don't interact I respect your right to ship let's be civil

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codename-adler · 3 years

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Dear Tumblr toxicity,

Hi. Adler here. We need to talk.

- TW: mental health issues, depression, bipolar disorder, self-harm, homophobia, transphobia, coming out, xenophobia, islamophobia, racism, implied sexual content, rape, non-con, addictions, abuse, parental negligence, depictions of violence, swearing (please message me kindly if I forget anything)

- What prompted this message: The release of Skam France S7 teaser (emphasis on teaser, will get into that below)

- Where I’m coming from: I will talk from the pov of a white, cis and queer 22-years-old woman (she/her); this is the pov that affects my experiences and the opinions I will share below; but my message comes from a place of deep hurt, and love

- What this is about: My goal is to share a recurring experience that has hurt me in order to spread a message of awareness, maturity, peace and love

- Central content: Skam France, Skam Wtfock, and Skam/remakes in general

From now on I will assume people have enough information for me to talk about the topics without explaining every plotline/character. There are plenty of wiki pages to help you out and I will gladly answer any (respectful) questions asked if a plothole bothers your comprehension of my message. I’m only making these assumptions in order to alleviate the text.

January 9th, 2021.

The francetv slash YouTube channel releases an unexpected teaser video for an equally unexpected seventh season Skam France. The video features Tiffany, a white, cis female teenager, going into labour from denial pregnancy just after winning what appears to be a gymnastics championship. Overall, the video and its release are very dramatic.

The character of Tiffany, also called Tiff, was previously seen on season 6 of Skam France as a bully who persecuted the main character, Lola, both at school and on social media. Outside of this characterization, nothing is known about her. It is majorly accepted that Tiff is not a liked character; she rather poses as one of the antagonists of Lola’s arc.

Now you know the details of what happened, in the most objectively possible way.

Now I’ll speak for myself.

Before I went digging around for people’s reaction, here is what I initially thought of this video.

1) Shock: I thought Skam France was over, so... Big, big shock.

2) Excitement: I hold this web series very close to my heart. It has gotten me through depressive episodes, anxiety attacks, coming out to my best friend. To see this new development? It couldn’t bring me more joy.

3) Curiosity: I recognized Tiff immediately. I was intrigued as to what would happen to her to set off a new season in true Skam Fr fashion. As soon as she started gripping her stomach, I knew she was pregnant and wasn’t aware of it. Big, big surprise here again.

4) Numbness/Overthinking: As I stared at my screen, motionless, my mind went off. What did it mean? How did she not know? Who is the father? Do we know him? Will the baby survive? Where are the other characters? Will Lamifex be present? What? How? When? Why? Who?

5) Disappointment: No, I did not like Tiff one bit in S6. Yes, I sincerely wished for a season on either Jo (ambiguous and funny teenage girl, cis + white), Sekou (seemingly neurodivergent teenage boy, cis + black), and my favorite, Max (mysterious and grave teenage boy, trans + white) So why Tiff? It felt to me like a missed opportunity, but I did not lose hope.

So, these were the five stages of my emotional process. And then I made the terrible mistake to go look for the fans’ reaction. I didn’t even look at the YT comments, I didn’t go on Instagram, I went directly here on Tumblr. Why? I’m still asking myself that. From S1 to S6 of Skam Fr, I kept my love for the show to myself and only looked at ig and video edits. I tried once, and only once, to look it up on Tumblr, and was greeted by fervent agressivity, disrespect and hate. Why did I ever forget that after watching the S7 teaser? I still don’t know.

The reactions on this platform were wild. People are furious (I get that). People are disappointed (I get that). People are anxious (I get that). People are also verbally agressive, insensitive, hateful, disrespectful and bullies. I don’t get that.

Comments along the lines of “What she gonna do with a fucking baby?”, “Are we gonna watch the baby do nothing all fucking season?”, “Wowwww, teenage pregnancy, so new and relatable!” (note the sarcasm made in the comment here), “Who gives a shit about Tiff?”, etc.

And then all the mistakes Skam Fr ever made flooded back onto the feed. The wlw misrepresentation, the whitewashing, the overdramatization, the dubious sex scenes between minors, all of it.

Let’s take a break here. Do I condone these mistakes? Nope. Am I a white-bully apologist? Nope. Did I forget every horrible action Tiff has made in the past? Nope. She manipulated a whole school against Lola, she profited from Lola’s mother’s death, she bullied her, harrassed her, pushed her deeper into mental distress. Tiff was a despicable character that I never once liked. The way she was played by the actress made it clear that Tiff was not intended to be a good guy. If I could replace her as the main of S7, I would, in a heartbeat. I’d choose, as I said, Jo, Sekou or Max.

Skam France deeply lacks diversity and made mistakes when attempting to diverse the issues represented. This is not an opinion, it’s a fact.

Poc representation is very, very low. Only one season has a woc of Islam beliefs as mc (Imane, S4) with poc entourage/family. Only 2 other characters not related to Imane were poc (Sekou and Sarah, S1-S2). These 2 characters were very in the background and served to further the mc’s plotline, they had no real content. (I am not a poc, and so my opinion does not matter here. If you are not poc, your “opinions” don’t matter here, this point is not for you to debate. These are facts.)

While I do not particularly find the wlw representation bad, I do understand how it hurts/bothers other queer women. From my perspective, the bar was very low regarding my expectations of the Lola/Maya pair (none of them died *yay* they had a happy ending *yay* they were not typically overfeminized or overmasculinized *yay* Lola and Maya were respectful of each other, understood each other, accepted each other with all their flaws and their beauty *yay* I truly believed in their love and it gave me confidence and hope *yay* I ould really go on but this is not my main point so I’ll stop here) Regardless of my opinion on Mayla, I understand that to some queer women, it was bothering/hurtful. (If you are anything other than a woman / wlw, this point is not for you to debate. Keep your “opinions” to yourself, it does not matter here. These are facts.)

Like every remake of the original Skam where the S4 was given to Sana/Imane, the Muslim community was not represented at its best, at its most beautiful and respectfully. The character of Imane, although she is my favorite girl of the series, was not portrayed in a way that respected the majority of the Muslim community. (If you are anything other than Muslim, this point is not for you to debate. Our opinions do not matter here. These are facts.)

And so the same goes for the portrayal of sexual assault and child pronography in S2, of mental illness and homophobia in S3, of disabilities in S5, of addiction, transphobia, self-harm and neurodivergence in S6. Again, if you are not part of these communities, your opinions do not matter on these issues. These are facts that are not up for debate.

In other words, Skam France, as well as the original Skam, Skam Wtfock, Skam España, and probably all the others I haven’t watched in their entirety, are NOT perfect shows. They (maybe) tried their best to portray issues of the younger generations that are ugly, shameful, taboo, hard-to-swallow-pills. Of course they made mistakes. Of course they have to be held accountable. Of course they can and should do better. Of course it must be spoken about.

Here is my problem.

The so-called “fans” shamelessly SHITTING on the WHOLE show because of ONE TEASER TRAILER. (btw, this is where I get angry)

I am not talking about the fans making fun of the show and this season’s premise like “Better MCs than Tiff for S7: a romance between the car that almost hit Lucas S3 and the car that hit Arthur S5, or the school’s nurse, or Imane’s dad, or Elu’s rabbit” (that shit’s funny and I’d watch all of these).Or the joke about Wtfock and Skam Fr shaking hands while signing the same contract to disappoint the fans with white MCs (it’s funny cuz it’s trueeeee).

I am not talking about the fans criticizing the producers’ choice of Tiff as MC. There is a difference between shitting on issues and adressing/discussing them. I WANT to talk about how this season’s issue would have been so much better if a woc, specifically a black woman, had been the MC, because black women and doctors are a whole different level of issue than white women and doctors. Add on top of that an unplanned teenage pregnancy? It would have been IMMACULATE. I WANT to talk which wlw couple was better represented, Mayla or Croana/Crisana, and why is that. I WANT to talk about disabilities in black and poc communities. I WANT to talk about headcanons, AUs, to rectify the missed marks. I WANT to talk about our takes on seasons about Max, Sekou and Jo, instead of Tiff’s.

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SHITTY, NEGATIVE, UNHELPFUL, HURTFUL COMMENTS.

Just because the protagonist is white, doesn’t give you ANY right to dismiss the issue that is unplanned teenage pregnancy. This is a problem that affects countries WORLDWIDE. Do you know how many deaths are related to minors giving birth? Do you know how many babies die at birth from these pregnancies? Do you have any idea the trauma it puts you through, to go into labor without even knowing you were pregnant in the first place, and then giving birth, and then having to care for a defensless human being? The dilemma of keeping it, or giving it away? The fear that lives in every person able to give birth, that one day they’ll become pregnant, because society turns sych a shameful look to that? No matter your ethnicity, your gender identity, your sexuality, your political stance or whatever shit you bring up to justify your disgraceful and downright degrading comments, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT A MINOR GIVING BIRTH IS NOT AN ISSUE.

You think the topic has been covered plenty before? Yeah, because shows like “16 and pregnant” and “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant!” are such good examples and show the reality with such an objective point of view!

Bullshit. Teenage pregnancy is still a taboo, it still kills, and people are still morons about it.

“Well I guess everybody is secretly pregnant now!” No, Jessica, but you wouldn’t know about it, would you? Because I wouldn’t tell you shit if you were my “friend” and I was going through it. The whole message of all the Skams is not that it presents super relatable issues of teenagers, although it is a big topic of the show. They present some issues that affect the youth in an authentic light, but that’s not it.

Tous les gens que tu rencontres mènent un combat dont tu ignores tout.

Sois indulgente. Toujours. x x x

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Be kind. Always. x x x

THAT’S THE MESSAGE. THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW.

And you all missed it.

All of you making dead baby jokes and death threats, degrading people who give birth, shaming teenagers for their pregnancies... Listen to yourselves.

“Well she deserves it, she was such a bitch!” No, Michael, you shit stick. Let’s rewind a bit for you, yeah? It was a GOD DAMN TEASER. We literally know nothing! Nothing at all! Why are y’all getting mad when we saw 3:25 minutes representing a whole ass season! Listen to yourselves. Y’all judge so fast for people pretending to love Skam and its authenticity and its motto.

You say Tiff is irredeemable?

Emma cheated on her boyfriend.

Manon lied and manipulated her friends.

Lucas was homophobic and prejudiced agaisnt mentally ill people.

Imane was homophobic too and went behind her friends’ back to get what she wanted.

Arthur cheated on his girlfriend too.

Lola dragged Elliot down with her in her addiction, lied, was verbally abusive, etc.

ALL THE MAINS ARE PROBLEMATIC.

Any guess why?

BECAUSE THEY ARE TEENAGERS. THEY ARE STILL GROWING AND LEARNING.

Yet we still loved them all.

So don’t you dare tell me that Tiff deserves this, that her baby deserves to die, that teenage motherhood is irrelevant. Motherhood is not a curse in the first place, nor is it something to wish to inflict upon anyone. Motherhood is different for every single person and nobody except the person living with it can have an opinion on that. We don’t even know if the baby survived, for God’s sake!

There is no excuse for this kind of behavior..

It makes me so angry. Women are discriminated against in a fandom I thought was safe, again and again and again.

I have to stop here because, well, this is just too much. There is much wrong with Skam (the original AND all the remakes), but there is even more wrong with the fans. I’m done.

You don’t support the show anymore? Fine, then don’t watch it! If I really am wrong, the number of viewers will go down and the show will die, just like you wished. There is no need to be vicious about it.

I hope y’all are proud of your misogyny.

Sincerely,

Adler.

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mrs-dynamight · 3 years

Text

Be Nice To Me 2

Part 1.

*************************************************

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem!Reader, Denki Kaminari x fem!Reader

Warnings: Eventual mature content, angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle, the reader is lowkey toxic, everything will be adressed in every episode (:

Chapter warning: Swearing but just a little bit of it. Mentions of past relationships between the 1A students. Everything else is pure Fluff.

Chapter: 2/? Still don't know how long this is going to be, I just have so much to write ;-;

Synopsis: You're in love with your best friend Bakugou, and you're cofessing to him but things get a lot more complicated when Denki starts to treat you different *wink wink*

Word count: 1.7k

Author's note: I love friends to lovers troupe sm, this chapter and the next one gave me butterflies writing it O=w=O

Chapter 2 Do you want to die together- Stars

We walked the rest of the way talking about hero equipment and how much of a cry baby he is and about that new shojo magazine every girl (and Bakugo ofc) have been reading.

In the front door of the UA was Ochako and Tsuyu, they saw us walk together and gave me a thumbs up, I was so embarrassed that I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. Bakugo just said his usual “Tch” and kept walking, I just said “see ya” and waved. As I walked towards my friends I noticed a strange look on their faces so I asked them if there was something wrong.

-Y/N, you really like Bakugo- Said Ochako with a big grin in her face

-I mean yeah, I guess that I like him a lot- I say a bit embarrassed and a light pink flush in my cheeks

-No but, you actually love him, we can tell just by looking at you- Said Tsuyu followed by a classic Tsuyu “Kero”

-I can’t believe you haven’t made a move yet, I think he likes you back, I mean it’s Bakugo, you can never tell, but you are way too obvious, since day one- Said Ochako

“Since day one…” I think my friends knew I was falling for him way before I did, besides that I didn´t wanna admit that I had feelings for my friend.

The first one to notice was of course Tsuyu-Chan, she saw us coming out of the gym one late afternoon and I was mocking him about how ridiculous was every option he had for his hero name and Bakugo being Bakugo was angry as he can be, telling me how “an extra like me” would never get an awesome name even if it punched me in the face.

-You like him- Said Tsuyu, it wasn’t a question, and it didn’t have any rude intentions, for her it was a mere fact.

-WHAAAAT?? Fcourse not- I said blushing.

-Y/N, I’ve seen how you look at him, you even blush when he addresses you- Tsuyu said.

God, what if she’s right?

-He’s just my friend, maybe a little crush, I’m sure it’ll pass -

But it didn’t, if anything only became more painful obvious and difficult to handle, I caught myself staring at him in class, thinking about him any time I saw something spicy, every time I saw a Pomeranian my head automatically went “Bakugo”, any skull related thing had his face imprinted in my mind, every song had his drums in it, even when watching fashion shows with the girls at UA dorms made me think about his family issues. It was undeniable I was falling deeply in love with Katsuki Bakugo. I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship, so I just sucked my feelings up and keep on with our routine like I wasn´t completely captivated by everything that boy did. That was until I decided it was enough. It was now or never, the last year, I had to make my move.

That was one of the longest weeks in my whole student life, I spend most of the time avoiding any kind of contact with Bakugo, and it was obvious to everyone, I usually hang out a lot with the whole Bakusquad, but this time I just simply started walking the opposite direction every time I crossed them in the hallways.

-Are you sure you’re doing the right thing avoiding him completely? - Said Deku with a concerned look in his face

-I just don’t wanna say something stupid in front of him and have him regretting having a date with me- I replied giving a big much to my lunch

-I’m sure he thinks that anything anyone besides him say it’s stupid, so I wouldn’t worry about that Y/N- Said Shoto

-Yeah, and besides, you were the one who said that you didn’t wanna ruin your friendship, so don’t do it and just keep everything normal- Said Ochako.

Normal… Nothing will be “normal” again between us after today, in the worst scenario possible we will stop talking, our friendship will be ruined completely and there will be no turning back to how things were before; in the best, the feeling is mutual and we start dating. Dating Bakugo, I’ve pictured it a hundred times before, but now that it might happen… No, focus Y/N there is still a long way before that actually happens, first I have to survive today without throwing up all these years of butterflies in my stomach.

It’s finally the last class for today, just this last one, going back to the dorms for a quick shower and a change of clothes, and I’ll be having my first date with the boy of my dreams; but before I entered the room someone grabbed my hand and pulled me into an empty classroom, it was Denki Kaminari.

-Denki wha…- I started saying but he interrupted me abruptly

-I don´t know what I did Y/N but please talk to me again, I’m so sorry if I did or said something wrong, I’m really really sorry but please don’t ignore me like that- He said with tears in the corner of his eyes.

Me ignoring Denki? Oh shit, I didn’t thought of that when I was avoiding Bakugo, I didn’t even realized it, was so worried about don’t messing it up before today that I forgot that his friends were also my friends

-Denki I’m so sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s my fault I was so caught up with my stuff lately, I didn’t realize that I was ignoring with my friends-

He looked a little confused when I said that, he looked directly in my eyes.

-You weren’t ignoring me specifically? – He almost sounded offended

-Of course not, I guess I was being distant with everyone but you were the only one who noticed it, I’m sorry Denki- I went for a hug but he stopped me

-You don’t have to apologise Y/N, is just that I wanted to talk to you this past days but anytime I ran into you, you seemed to run away from me and I just, I don’t know, I thought you didn’t wanna be my friend anymore and I was so scared and…-

This time he didn’t stopped me and I hugged him. He put his head in my shoulder and sighed.

-I wanted to be like this for so long- He said wiping the tears in his eyes and looking away

-We should head to class, if we are late again Aizawa will kill us- I said grabbing Denki’s sleeve, but he stopped me.

- Y/N wait, I wanted to talk to you, it’s kinda important- He was as red as an apple and his eyes were fixed on his shoes.

Is Denki Kaminari confessing to me?!? I mean, yeah he has always been kind to me, and we do spend a lot of time together, and have sleepovers with mina and sero, and I go to every one of his gigs, and that box of chocolates for valentines, and those playlists, and the pinterest moodboard, and… Oh fuck, Denki Kaminari likes me. Before I could say or think anything he says:

-I have a gig next week, I know you come to every one of them, but this one is special and I would love seeing you there, not like the others weren’t special, because they were, you know how much I like when you come to see meUS! I was thinking maybe arrive a little earlier with me, to the soundcheck, I know it’s a little boring buuuuut I get really nervous if you’re not there and I just…, please come with me next week- He was clearly a handful of nerves, and knowing Denki he rehearsed that words over and over, he was so cute.

What? I could have sworn he was going to tell me something else, but a Gig? I’ve seen every performance ever since the first one at the cultural festival from first year, he didn’t have to get so nervous for that, unless there is something else he isn’t telling me, or maybe I misinterpreted all of it, maybe it was actually something special and he is afraid of asking anyone else for emotional support, yeah that makes sense, we always have been there for each other when things got tough, when he found out that Jirou was in love with Momo in first year he spend a whole week crying in my dorm, when he and Shinso broke up I had to force him to come out of his bed and act like a semi-functional human being, that was a whole semester of romantic comedy, sad music and junk food, thank god we both passed the year; it makes sense he came to me if he was feeling nervous about anything, nothing more, right?

-I would love to, Denki, I love seeing you on stage. I didn’t knew you get nervous when performing- I say with a chuckle.

-Well I usually don’t but this time I’m going to sing a song, and let me tell you, the struggle is real, have you heard Bakubro criticism? In the last rehearsal he made me cry five times-

Denki is going to sing?! OMG, usually Jirou is the one who takes the lead vocals, he just sings the harmonies, I’ve only heard him actually sing in karaoke nights, this is going to be so much fun, of course I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world

-Yeah, Bakugo tends to be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but don’t worry I wouldn´t miss this gig for anything in the world-

-Pinky Promise? – Asked Denki with his best puppy eyes

-Pinky promise- I replied intertwining our pinky fingers and feeling a little electrical buzz

-OUCH! What was that for? – I said giving Denki a playful punch in the arm

-That was for ignoring me all week, I really missed you Y/N- And then he lean in and kissed my forehead -Now let’s go before Aizawa wakes up and see we are not in class, I don’t want to clean the common room in the dorms, again-

“And before someone sees us and thinks something wrong” I thought to myself.

************************************************

Part 3 here

OMG! I have so much fun writing this, remember if you want to be in the tag list just message me, hope you enjoy reading it as I had writing it

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saylors-universe · 3 years

Text

All Hands on Deck, Rowanʻs POV 4

Rowaelin Cruise Vacation AU

Masterlist here

Word count: 5378

[This is an interactive story! I will include Authorʻs Notes throughout the chapters to inform you when to start a particular song that you can find here in the All Hands on Deck playlist (Also can be found on the masterlist). For the best experience, listen with headphones, AND FOLLOW ALONG WITH THE STORY. Please try to use your imagination when listening and reading - live through the words. Have fun :) - Saylor]

Day 3 - ANIELLE PORT - “Welcome to Anielle! The Ellywe Voyager will depart tomorrow at noon, so make sure you are back onboard!”

“Thatʻs what I like to see Whitethorn,” Connal motivates from above, spotting Rowan on the bench press, his hands closely following the bar up and down.

Rowan forces a grunt, gritting his teeth as he pushes out one more rep, the 400 lbs tapping his sternum and returning upward. Exhausted from their early morning workout, Rowan returns the support bar to the rack and sits up, grabbing his nearby gym towel, wiping away the sweat on his face.

Within their group, Fenrys and Lorcan were the original gym rats that then converted Connal and him to workout with them. Physical exercise was Rowanʻs outlet for his anger after the passing of Lyria. He would work himself until he passed out, needing to release all his pent up fury with the world, the universe, and himself. He eventually found a more creative outlet through his music and writing, but in the time being, he got very fit, his muscles defined and toned. The Cadreʻs fan base would often get into toxic arguments of which man was the pretty-boy of the group, each working on their looks. Usually the debate was between either Fenrys or Rowan, both the main faces of the band who earned the most attention.

Connal switches spots with Rowan, beginning his turn with the bench press. Rowan spots him but Connal can tell his mind is elsewhere. Lorcan and Fenrys, the former doing reps with dumbbells and the latter on the pull up bar, both notice Rowanʻs daydreaming.

“So, what do you guys think of the girls?” Fenrys asks, mid chin-up. “Elideʻs a lot quieter than I pictured, she must be freaky in bed, huh Lor.”

“Watch it asshole,” Lorcan sneers, defending his fiance.

“The brunette one is really pretty, Lysandra I think is her name,” Connal inputs.

“Pretty and spoken for Iʻm afraid, and not by us unfortunately,” Fenrys shares how he learned that the hard way when Aedion nearly decked him for flirting with her.

Lorcan and Rowan, the only seemingly smart ones of the group, remain silent, not wishing to participate in their review. Fenrys and Connal both whisper when covering Manon, as if mentioning her would summon something evil, both sharing how they are completely intimidated and scared of her. Rightfully so, Rowan thought, she seems like the confident, sophisticated boss woman that she is, who couldnʻt give a fuck about either of them. Then they got to Aelin.

“The blonde one though. Wow. Sheʻs-” Fenrysʻ eyes widen as he talks about her, like a kid in a candy store.

“Aelin.” Lorcan cuts, “Her name is Aelin, you ass.”

Lorcan defending Aelin?

“Aelin, ah even her name is beautiful.”

“Hmm, what do you think Rowan? I mean you two are high school sweethearts after all,” Lorcan reveals, setting down his dumbbells.

There it was. He was waiting for Lorcan to bring up their past, wondering if he completely forgot about their history. He wouldnʻt have been the only one, Aelin obviously remembered who he was, but it didnʻt seem like she remembered what they were? From their conversations, he gathered that she remembered him from high school, possibly remembered that they dated. Does she remember that we were in love once? Does she remember any of our moments?

“What?” Fenrys and Connalʻs surprised looks and unison question distract Rowan from his thought.

“Rough break up,” Lorcan answers for him. If only he knew. The breakup that utterly and completely destroyed him. He hates to compare it, but it was more devastating than Lyriaʻs death. God thatʻs so fucked up. Yeah he was heartbroken from losing his girlfriend in the accident, but breaking up with Aelin... losing her... that shattered his heart, lit all the pieces on fire, and trampled them to smithereens.

In a sense, Lyria was a rebound. They had gotten together really early in his freshman year at Orynth University, right after the breakup. Aelin pushed him away, but he also let her, he left. He was just as much to blame. Lyria was there to distract him from his sorrow, to help him get through school. Along the way, they found love, but not the same kind of love he had with Aelin. Lyria deserved so much better, he scolds himself and taps out with Fenrys to spot Connal, giving an excuse that he had to go.

“Yeah me too boys, Elide an I have an appointment,” Lorcan states.

“A dick appointment Salvaterre?” Fenrys snickers.

“A massage appointment you fucking prick,”

“Oh yeah Iʻm sure, enjoy that massage Lo,” Fenrys banters with air quotes around -massage.

Fenrys gets whacked up the head, and Rowan and Lorcan leave the Moonbeams to finish their workout.

Expended from the physical excursion, Rowan opts to clean up in his room with a cold shower, and also use his music outlet to further release his emotional turmoil. With his platinum locks still dripping water, he sits on his bed against the headboard, guitar in hand, working out a tune that came to him in the shower.

He writes down some chords on a notepad laying on the nightstand. Lyrics. It needs lyrics. The Cadreʻs best songs have always come from his personal situations, when he found need to release his emotions and feelings through music. His best songs however, those are the oneʻs he wrote with Aelin.

He closes his eyes to relive the memory of the first song they wrote together.

Sophomore year, Aelin had just transferred into the school and he immediately fell in love with her the moment he saw her out in the campus parking lot. He rushed ahead to hold open the building door for her.

“Hello,” HOLY WOW. Those eyes, she has the most spectacular turquoise eyes with a ring of gold. Magnificent.

“Hi,” even her voice is perfect.

“Rowan,” he introduced himself, offering his hand just as she got to the entrance. “Welcome to Terrasen High...”

“Aelin,” she takes his handshake, breathing in his pine snow musk, the corner of her lips curling up into a smile.

Oh no, he thought to himself, sheʻs it. Sheʻs my one, He claims as she takes a part of his heart with that smile. That smile, I would give anything, do anything to see that smile for the rest of my life. He was in such deep, unending shit.

Weeks go by within their friendship and he racks up the nerve to make a move. “Finally,” she responds, and he internally cursed himself for taking so long. Before he knows it, she became his family, and he hers. The two lovebirds composed a song of their meeting, and of being deeply infatuated with each other. Sitting on his bed, he strums and they sing.

[A.N.] Play “Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran)” by Taylor Swift now, follow along, and let your imagination do the work. {Keep in mind this is high school Rowan and Aelin so they should sound different, younger} Find playlist here.

Rowan: “You good to go?”

- He getʻs the thumbs up from his muse and plays. -

Aelin: ALL I KNEW THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE

IS I KNOW SOMETHING NOW, KNOW SOMETHING NOW

I DIDNʻT BEFORE

AND ALL IʻVE SEEN SINCE EIGHTEEN HOURS AGO

IS GREEN EYES AND FRECKLES AND YOUR SMILE

IN THE BACK OF MY MIND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER

KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER

KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

Aelin & Rowan: I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

AND YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Rowan: AND ALL MY WALLS STOOD TALL, PAINTED BLUE

AND IʻLL TAKE THEM DOWN, TAKE THEM DOWN

AND OPEN UP THE DOOR FOR YOU

Aelin: AND ALL I FEEL IN MY STOMACH IS BUTTERFLIES

THE BEAUTIFUL KIND, MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME

TAKING FLIGHT, MAKING ME FEEL RIGHT

Aelin & Rowan: I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

AND YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY

IʻM FEELING LIKE IʻVE MISSED YOU ALL THIS TIME

AND MEET ME THERE TONIGHT

AND LET ME KNOW THAT ITʻS NOT ALL IN MY MIND

Aelin: I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

Aelin & Rowan: ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Aelin: ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

SO DUST OFF YOUR HIGHEST HOPES

ALL I KNOW IS POURING RAIN

Aelin & Rowan: AND EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Aelin: ALL I KNOW IS A NEWFOUND GRACE

ALL MY DAYS IʻLL KNOW YOUR FACE

Aelin & Rowan: ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Everything has changed. One of the many ballads theyʻve written together, showcasing their epic love story. Rowan snaps back to his present time, although he wishes he could reminisce a little longer. He collects his thoughts, and tries to put his feelings into words.

Does she remember any of our time together? He writes down - Do you remember when?

Does she ever think of our music? The songs we wrote? He jots down more lyrics.

Does she remember our love? I was the first to say “I Love You” but my whole world was made the first time she said it back. He notes some more.

Rome. Boom. He had a title and a chorus.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

He worked on the song for two hours, until he felt satisfied with it. Finally completed, he practices it and found it encompasses everything he wished he could say.

Feeling better, he freshens up in the bathroom and leaves his cabin, not sure exactly where he is going or what he will do, but finally feeling lighter, a stressful weight lifted off his shoulders. The soft chatter from the luminous ballroom catches his attention, sucking him in.

He gets stopped by fans who demand he takes pictures with them and sign his autograph on their clothes and skin. They request him to play something for them and he is tempted to comply. He succumbs and takes his throne at the grand piano, playing the first thing that came to mind [A.N.] “Pantomime” by Ben Hammersley if you want to re-experience that.

His music attracts a larger crowd and he basks in their attention. His gaze sets on the turquoise eyes with the gold ring that will forever be etched within his memory. Aelin. He does the only logical thing he could think of in the moment, and he plays her his song.

With a soft smile from being in her presence, and the sudden anxiety and nerves of performing this new song, he clears his throat and addresses,

“This one, I wrote recently, itʻs called Rome.” I hope you like it Ace, the words go unspoken.

[A.N.] “Rome” by Dermot Kennedy, if you want to be in the moment again.

Rowan: SO WHATʻS THE PAST FOR?

IʻLL NEED IT IF LOVE DONʻT LAST LONG

YOU CAN RUN AROUND INFINITE IN MY HEAD

She does. The thought of her has run through his mind constantly since he saw her that first night.

OH YOU CANʻT SEE, OH, IʻD STAY IF YOU ASKED ME

He often wonders what his, her, and their life would be like if heʻd stay. If sheʻd let him stay.

NOW YOU KNOW I CARE,

BUT ITʻS HARD TO TELL WHEN YOUʻRE SCARED

BUT LAST NIGHT

IT HURT ME TO HEAR YOU SAY IT FELT BROKEN

AND EVEN THOUGH I TRIED

ALL THESE MEMORIES RUN MY MIND IN SLOW MOTION

Seeing her hurt, physically pains him. When she had shared that her parents had passed, he saw the curtain drop, revealing a distraught woman, still mourning the loss of her parents, faithfully clinging to the joys in her life. For the first time in a long time, he wished, he hoped, that someday he could once again be someone that brought her joy.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

Please remember. Remember us. Remember me.

REMEMBER THAT FIRST LAUGH?

ALL IT CHANGED ONCE I HAD THAT

LIKE A HURRICANE, BUT I DONʻT CARE WHERE I LAND

Her beautiful laugh.

I DONʻT EVER WANNA LEAVE WHEN YOU CRY

I KNOW I GIVE YOU REASONS TO HIDE

I NEED YOU TO STAY BY MY SIDE

FIRST SHOOTINʻ STAR THAT YOU EVER SAW

WE WERE RIGHT ON OUR FEET THOUGH, RIGHT?

OPENING THE CAR DOOR FOR LIGHT

I REALLY THOUGHT IʻD LOSE YOU THAT TIME

Please, I canʻt lose you again.

- Their eyes lock onto one another and for a few brief moments it is only them. Just him and her. Like how it should have been.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN, OH

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN, OH

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

OOH, AH

OOH, OOH

Silver lines his eyes as he bares his soul out for her. The audience praises him in an applause, but his concern is with the her. Like an open book, he reads her confused expression, praying that the message translated correctly, pleading that he would receive some reciprocation, any small sign, proof of their bond. Before he can say anything else, she runs away, dragging her friend off with her.

It was her turn to leave. And like the heartbroken boy he was years ago, he got the message, loud and clear.

He tries not to overthink it, but the darkness in his mind persists the notion that they had become not friends, not enemies, just strangers with memories.

Night 3 - ANIELLE PORT - “Movie Night: ʻBeauty and the Beastʻ Tonight on the Lido deck at 8:30pm, Come join us!”

Somewhat distraught, Rowan seeks out the company of his brothers. He was unsuccessful in determining the location of Lorcan, but ends up finding the twins in the club, hogging the karaoke machine and hitting on the bartender.

He takes a seat at the bar next to Fenrys, smooth talking his way into some free shots from the poor woman, her name tag reading: Ansel. She laughs at something he said, giving him all her attention. His brother was center stage, belting his heart out to “Killer Queen”.

Rowan asks for a water and sits in solemn silence, lost in his thoughts.

He could sense something was wrong. Everything was going so right with his life, he should have expected it, prepared for the other shoe to drop. “Hey you wanna go outside to talk?” He initiated it, feeling her need to get something off her chest. His whole world revolved around this girl, whatever it was, they would work through it, they had to.

They sat on the porch bench swing, facing each other when she began to cry. Oh no, Oh gods no. What did I do? Please, I hate seeing her upset, what can I do, what needs to be done, I will do it.

“Are you going to break up with me?”

A sharp punching pain hit his gut, “What. No. Never.” He runs a hand through her hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear so he could properly see her beautiful face. “Fireheart, talk to me, whatʻs wrong?”

“I- I didnʻt- I didnʻt get in Ro,” she manages to say through sniffling.

School. She had been torn up from the news of being rejected from Orynth University. Yes, they had talked about attending school together and starting a life, but the moment he met her, all his plans flew out the window. The moment he heard her laugh, the moment he saw the fire in her eyes, his world shifted, it gravitated around her.

“I donʻt care,” he consoles her, rubbing small circles along her arm and back, holding her close, “Iʻll figure something else out, I could take a leap year, find a job in town, or I could apply to TCC or wherever you want to go, or- or we could even get that Volkswagon van youʻve had your eye on, and weʻll go roadtripping, I know youʻve always wanted to do that,”

He felt her tense beneath his touch.

“No,”

“Okay we could-”

“No Rowan. Youʻre going to OU.”

“Ace I donʻt -”

“You need to go. You canʻt pass up this opportunity, thereʻs so much to learn, so much to grow fr-,”

“I donʻt want to grow up if itʻs not with you”

She faces him, her sad eyes welling, cupping his face in her hands, and he fights the tears swelling at his eyes,

“Aelin please donʻt,” he cries, his voice cracking in the whisper, a single tear running down his cheek.

“I love you Rowan Whitethorn,” she stares deeply in his wet eyes, “with all of my being. And because I love you with all that I am, I canʻt have you stay here.”

He presses his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, tears streaming down, and breathes the scent of her in.

“To whatever end.”

They both sniffle, wiping away each others tears as they take turns bawling, “You are going to live an extraordinary life Rowan Whitethorn. You will learn all that you can, grow into an honorable man, a perfect husband,” Please donʻt do this, “If we are destined to be together, life will put us together again.”

He could tell that this pained her just as much as it did him. If it hurts us both, why should we have to endure it, spare us the pain, donʻt do this. The things that are really worth holding on to, you would not have to let go. But maybe the true test is letting go. Maybe, if given the opportunity to grow and expand their capacities for love, they would be molded into their destined matches. The idea of handing their future together to the hands of fate, troubled him. When have the fates, the Gods, destiny, ever been kind of them.

But this is what she wanted. And he was not about to disobey her, even if it kills him, if it rips his heart out of his chest, staying with her while she pushed him away.

He couldnʻt recall when they had finished crying that night, he couldnʻt even remember sleeping that night, or many nights after. No, ever since their breakup, he remained empty. Emotionally dormant and unavailable.

Somehow, he convinced her to drop him off at the airport, However painful, he had to try one last time to change her mind.

“Goodbye Rowan,” she reaches up on her tippy toes to place a soft kiss on his cheek. His heart races, as she comes down, Rowan zones into only her, the rest of the world disappears.

“This is not the end,” he says calmly, “This is not goodbye. We will find each other again, I promise,” he vows, bending down, sweeping her into a slight dip, claiming her lips in a cry, searching for the cure to their plagued situations. Her core warms, and he commits every detail of her to memory. To whatever end.

Eight years later, a college dropout, adult loser, recovering alcoholic; he had failed her so miserably. Not only had he not finished school, but he found love with someone else. Lyria had been a cruch, she temporarily numbed his pains. Eventually, they had grown to love each other, however it wasnʻt the love he had with Aelin, it didnʻt even compare.

His relationship with Lyria was complicated, they often fought more than they talked, their quarrels usually resulting in Rowan at a bar late at night. One unfortunate night, their fight had him escaping to the nearest pub, where she later had to drag him home from once they both had cooled down. But the accident. He had killed her, not intentionally, but situationally. And he was still working through that trauma, that guilt, he was still healing.

When you lose someone, or experience tragic grief, the instinctual response is to shut down, push people away, and board up the walls. Although it took a while for his brothers to get through his walls, he learned to share his pain, not only from Lyriaʻs passing, but also the untouched aftermath of his broken heart.

It was then that he realized, people who get broken, they are never fully fixed. They may be physically, but there are always scars. And the brave, they are the ones who are comfortable with showing their scars. He wants to be brave, to show her how much she means to him still, show her that he still loves her, to whatever end.

The booming voices and cheers snap him back to life. After bowing, Connal spots Rowanʻs silver head in the crowd.

“Oh Whitethorn, get your ass up here,” he yelps in the mic, pinning the rooms attention onto him.

“No thanks bud,”

The crowd yells and booʻs, “Oh come on,”

Forced against his will to get on the stage, he ends up making the most of the situation, choosing a song that hopefully letʻs him blow off some steam. He queues it and takes the mic.

[A.N.] Play “Power Over Me” by Dermot Kennedy now, follow along, and imagine it. Find playlist here.

Rowan: MMM, MMM

I WANNA BE KING IN YOUR STORY

I WANNA KNOW WHO YOU ARE

I WANT YOUR HEART TO BE FOR ME

OH I

WANT YOU TO SING TO ME SOFTLY

ʻCAUSE THEN IʻM OUTRUNNING THE DARK

THATʻS ALL THAT LOVE EVER TAUGHT ME

OH I

CALL AND IʻLL RUSH OUT. [MMM]

ALL OUT OF BREATH NOW

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

REMEMBER THE LAKE IN THE MOONLIGHT?

REMEMBER YOU SHIVERED AND SHONE

IʻLL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU LOOKED LIKE

ON THAT NIGHT

BUT I KNOW THAT TIMEʻS GONNA TAKE ME

I KNOW THE DAYʻS GONNA COME

I JUST WANT THE DEVIL TO HATE ME

OH I

CALL AND IʻLL RUSH OUT. [MMM]

ALL OUT OF BREATH NOW

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

IT WAS ALL IN DOUBT

THEY WERE ALL AROUND

SO WE HIDE AWAY AND NEVER TELL

YOU DECIDE THAT DARKNESS KNOWS YOU WELL

THAT LESSON OF LOVE, ALL THAT IT WAS

I NEED YOU TO SEE

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME. [WOO]

AND I KNOW THAT I LET HER DOWN, NO

LET HER DOWN, NO

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

MMM, MMM

The packed club whistles and cheers and Rowan leaves the stage, feeling a lot better. Minutes pass of the boys talking, listening to other passengers sing, when Lorcan finds them, his face bright and glowing.

“Salvaterre! How was the massage”

He just grunts, paying no mind to their insults. “You guys better get cleaned up if you want to come to dinner with us, our reservations in an hour. Thereʻs a movie showing after that if youʻre up for it too.”

Fenrys, of course, is the most excited to spend an evening with lovely women, but Rowan on the other-hand, he found himself extremely nervous. He spends way too long, trying on different outfits in his cabin. If Aelin will be there, he needs to look good. He compromises with a fitting suit and styles his hair with gel. Once hyping himself up, convincing himself he was as dashing as they say, he left to find Fenrys and Connal. They make their way to the Antica, arriving a little late.

It took everything in him to not fall to his knees at the sight of Aelin. She wore a brilliant blue dress, complimenting her glorious features. He had a difficult time comprehending how this beautiful creature was real, and sitting right next to him nontheless.

A sharp tinge of guilt ran through his soul. Was he betraying Lyria? Although they fought often, they loved each other. He had been prepared to propose after all. After the accident, he closed off access to his heart, not letting many in. Now that he was here, with her, he could feel things again. Should he allow himself to feel things again? Where was his punishment from Lyria? His heart dropped in his chest.

One glance at Aelin and his body calmed. Aelin made him feel things that no one else had, not even Lyria. She silenced his rambling thoughts, calmed his anxieties. She brought a light into his life, everything was an adventure with her, he never knew what to expect next. She was full of wildfire. His Fireheart.

He continues to steal sly glances at her whenever sheʻs not looking. Sheʻs absolutely radiant, just as gorgeous as the day I first saw her. But there was something different about her. She was more refined. She still had that contagious, care-free spirit about her, but there was something there, something holding her back. With deeper inspection, he could see the scars there. The scars of a young woman who endured many pains, a daughter mourning the loss of her parents, a friend learning to express herself, a brave woman, not afraid of showing her scars. His heart tugged.

While lost in his thoughts, the waiter came around to take orders. He had been so lost in his world, in her, that he had no chance to scan the menu. He turned to the waiter and asked what the most popular dish was. The waiter names the dish and Rowan orders it, having no clue what it was. Fenrys and Connal both give him a strange look of disbelief. What?

He was even more surprise when Aelin ordered the same thing as him. Fairly certain that she also had no clue what “escargot” was, he assumed it was just her spontaneous spirit pushing her to try new dishes. He missed that spirit, missed everything about her. There was a strong pull to her, and he was just happy to be caught in it once again, this time he will not leave, and he will fight like hell to stay, no matter how hard she pushes away.

The dishes arrive and he bites back the urge to barf.

Snails.

Stupid fucking idiot.

He didnʻt even think to ask what the dish was, he just unknowingly signed not only himself but also Aelin up for eating snails.

Shit.

It took everything in him to not vomit out his insides. He wouldnʻt be able to stomach the embarrassment, and he would never hear the end of it from Fenrys and Connal. So he found it within himself to eat his dish in silence, desperately wishing he could retract his vow to remain sober. Alcohol would definitely numb his receptors to this meal.

The rest of the night was very pleasant. He learned a lot about Aelinʻs friends. Aedion, he had heard of previously when they dated, he appreciated how protective he was of Aelin, she deserves to be looked after. She deserves the world.

Lysandra, Aedionʻs fiance? they acted like honeymooners but he spotted no ring on the womanʻs finger. Hmm. Lysandra was spunky, like Aelin, but more reserved and reasonably logical.

Manon. She was terrifying. Like Lorcanʻs persona on crack. If someone did Aelin or any of their friend group wrong, itʻs not Aedion they would be worried of, itʻs Manon.

Elide, he got to know a little better. She was kind, gentle, and exactly what Lorcan needs. They balanced each other out very well, and he could tell they were madly in love with each other.

The group left dinner to catch the showing of Beauty and the Beast, when Rowan noticed that Aelin strayed from the group. Slightly curious, he follows her and finds her face stuffed with chocolate cake. She was so cute.

“Still a fan of chocolate, I see,” You idiot. Sheʻs probably trying to clean her palate from the snails you unintentionally made her eat.

Aelin turns, mouth full of cake, “you caught me”

She says it so innocently that Rowan canʻt help but laugh.

“Did you want some?” she offers him a bite. He holds up his hand.

“No, thank you though, I just wanted to check on you, make sure youʻre okay.”

She laughs, “Hm let me see, besides eating snails, Iʻve found the library, read a really fascinating book, taken a nap, and tried the best cake Iʻve ever tasted, Iʻd say Iʻm doing pretty great.”

He feels extremely guilty for the snail part.

They share an intimate moment of pure laughter and joy.

“Well we better get back to everybody, Iʻm sure the movieʻs about to start.”

He doesnʻt catch much of the movie. He spends majority of it, admiring Aelin. Watching her sing the songs at the top of her lungs. Watching the nearby childrenʻs annoyed glances. Watching her smile, her genuine, bright smile. His heart leaps. There was a time where heʻd do anything to get to see that smile. A time where sheʻs let him do anything.

His vow plays through his head, This is not the end. This is not goodbye. We will find each other again, then her words, “If we are destined to be together, life will put us together again.”

Now here they were, together again. And he would spend the rest of his days, reminding her of their love, reminding her that they are destined. That he will love her, to whatever end.

--------

All Hands on Deck taglist: bolded tags arenʻt tagging

@smalltddygothgf

@booksbqueen

@underworldboxers

@live-the-fangirl-life

@islabyrnex

@kathi2599

@booknerdproblems

@rowaelinismyotp

#all hands on deck #rowaelin #throne of glass #tog #aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass fanfic #cruise

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sukirichi · 3 years

Text

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ]

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan

from track 007.

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ]

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series ( broken records )#tw: toxic

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marvelous-imagining · 4 years

Text

Wrong

Hey, everyone! I realized after posting this on my Wattpad account that I completely forgot to post it here on Tumblr as well and I think you guys have the right to read this too if you so please.

Basically, to put it as short as I can, I still see people liking this series and it makes me feel bad that I never finished it. I still won’t, so don’t get your hopes up. Also, sorry about that as well... But I explained in my Farewell post why I won’t be writing here anymore. Nothing about that will change. But I can share what I had planned for Wrong specifically. Writing all this down kind of gave me an odd sense of closure since I did feel a bit bad for never finishing it when I had some things planned. I had some key plot points along with the ending somewhat figured out and wanted to share them with those who might be interested to know how it all could have ended. I hope it’s not too disappointing, haha.

But anyway, without further ado, here we go...

(the rest is pretty much copy-pasted from Wattpad)

So, we left off with Chris's POV in Part 12. We saw Reina, she seems to be an ok person, right? Well I had a lot planned for Reina.

1. She's controlling. Throughout the story I wanted to bring that out more. She's asking (more demanding) Chris to shave, she would have had a lot to say about the way he dresses, the amount of exercise he does (too much but he does it to destress especially if reader isn't around to help him with that ayoooo), just wants to control him in every way possible, even with the smallest of things

2. She's after that perfect suburban married couple life who will have a couple of kids who will go to great schools and grow up very prim and proper. She never got that calm family life, her parents weren't the happiest and she was an only child. Growing up in her household was a bit rough for her and her relationship with her parents still affects her. She also works in her father's company because she was practically forced to. She can't escape her family in that way so she tries to recreate her fantasies of a perfect life with Chris to no avail.

3. There's a point in time she starts getting more and more interested in sex with Chris. He's not really feeling it because it all feels so forced and also he can't stop thinking about the whole situation with the reader. He's torn between his affair and wanting to make things work with his wife because he has once convinced himself that he wants the same things as Reina. He's also scared of divorcing her because he has once swore to love her and be with her forever and they were in love. truly. not anymore though. but anyway, so they become more sexually active in the relationship. chris might cut ties with reader during this time once again only to realize he has tasted that forbidden fruit that is the reader and now cannot be satisfied with his wife anymore. sexually or emotionally. he needs more of that forbidden fruit. sin tastes and feels so amazing although it's so wrong.

4. Reina gets pregnant. And at this point Chris and Y/N are back at it again, affair going strong. The news really shock Chris, the pregnancy wasn't planned. Chris had begun to lean more towards the decision to divorce once again but this whole pregnancy throws him off. He has a little one on the way now. So he meets with Y/N not too long after and breaks the news. Y/N can see he's distraught, maybe even felt it from the way he acted in bed because of course problems in this story would be attempted to be fixed by sex because we love that problematic way of dealing with emotions, don't we? nobody ever said this wouldn't be problematic. so obviously both are torn, they don't want to leave the other but.... chris has to think about his family.... and the whole thing with them being in a professor/student relationship

5. after some time it comes to light that the kid is actually not chris's but a coworker of Reina's who she had been cheating on Chris with for years. (hence the sudden desperation for sex that followed afterwards to prevent chris from getting suspicious) Reina married Chris to please her parents pretty much, their fathers were business partners, planning on using each other for profit and all that business stuff for having their families intertwine like that. Reina never really wanted to marry chris, they did have their time in love and everything but this coworker of hers was actually her one true love from her younger years. he married someone too but the two kept seeing each other nearly every day, the feelings never went away, they ended up caving many many many times. and yeah, chris is not the biological father. obviously this will cause a huge fight. they will eventually separate, and a divorce will happen. 100%. and reina will find out about chris and y/n... and though she is bitter this college girl stole chris's heart who she wants to blame the whole problem on, she decides to stay quiet about the whole thing. she knows she's wronged chris and she has no business trying to ruin his career or cause him more pain. she knows she's done awful things, she can't really take it out on him. she will probably threaten them with the knowledge at first but decide against it, even show them she won't say anything. she still is not fond of y/n. she also ends up with the father of her child. they are growing a family together now.

Now..... timelines will be a bit mixed up here, so this next thing would have come before the whole pregnancy thing.

So the thing between Y/N and Chris continues, they have many talks about stopping, maybe at this point they would have just agreed on a break or sth and they actually end up meeting in a company party. because surprise surprise, Y/N's mother is actually working in Reina's father's company. She works above Reina, so she's her senior/superior. They don't really work together that much but they are acquainted and friendly. Y/N and Chris will both be there for the party and it will be very uncomfortable. A conversation about Y/N studying in the same college that Chris works at comes up and there'll will be a lot of comments from both Y/N's parents and Reina that hit very different when you know about the affair. like "I hope our daughter hasn't been troubling you." and "Well, I hope in return my husband has been treating you well."

on top of all of that y/n might be struck with some jealousy and actually tease chris in very sneaky ways. maybe there's some finger foods she's eating in seductive ways, maybe she's flirting with some interns and sending glances at chris to make sure he's watching. she's taking the risks and it's making her all the more excited. this relationship is very exciting, thrilling for both of them.

chris will walk up to y/n and her parents and ask for permission to talk to y/n about certain school stuff that he "has been meaning to talk to her about but haven't had the time". and now that reina is mingling, he found the right timing to snatch you away. he's also apologizing for the inconvenience.

turns out y/n's dad is actually quite fond of chris, saying how nice of a man he is and senses nothing iffy in his behavior.

they may or may not have a little fun in a public bathroom and create rumors that reach reina's ears that she brings up to chris later on. nobody spilled the beans on who those two were, they weren't fully seen.

she will realize through her jealousy that she actually wants something more with chris but him being married and all is what complicates things. he, after cheating on his wife with y/n in the company party of his father-in-law's, realizes just how risky this whole affair is, but realizes he has no intentions to stop. he want's y/n real bad. he's in deep, just like she is.

so there are connections. small world, isn't it?

but anyway, to the finishing line of his story.

chris divorces his wife. he meets with y/n again after a while of not being in contact, after thinking some things through. they love each other deeply but they've both been through so much during their affair as have other people around them. chris has gone through a divorce, he had been preparing for a child that ended up not being his in the end, he's battled with not taking control of his life and following his long forgotten dreams. all throughout this story, he would have been writing a story himself about the whole thing. a little romanticized, dramatized (though the story in itself is already filled with drama) but most importantly he's gotten his inspiration back, y/n woke something in him that got him writing again. she had become his muse, someone who nearly possessed his mind... obviously the whole connection between these two is problematic and.... toxic in a way??? like i think we can all agree this isn't the healthiest of relationships. there's a lot of back and forth, hot and cold, breakups and makeups, the fact that it's frowned upon/illegal due to chris being y/n's professor, chris cheating on his wife with her which she is just enabling.... also this situation has not helped her education at all and in turn made things a but worse... it's messy and causing a lot of distress for both parties. they end up separating as well. it will be hard for both of them. chris will do most of the talking, explaining how this is not the right time for them to start a proper relationship after everything they've both gone through. he's explaining her how she needs to focus on her studies, he doesn't want to sabotage her future and he needs to give his dreams a shot once more. he's moving away after the semester ends, he's starting off new and he hopes she will do the same. obviously the whole night will be emotional, romantic yet sad... there's a lot of pain but also a lot of love for each other. and they end up separating, not contacting each other again.

years go by and finally y/n graduates. she finds out that there is a book signing event from none other than chris. he's finally published a book and it has brought quite a lot of attention. it's nothing too big for now but a spike in sales and popularity has been talked about. she's brought back to her time with him and can't help but feel proud that he's finally doing something he's wanted to do for a long time. he's written a book that will become successful. though romanticized in some parts still a very raw story about love, family, career and affairs (maybe even midlife-crisis) that doesn't sugarcoat things. obviously characters, the setting and much else have been changed to not reveal too much of what happened in real life. i'm thinking even occupations of the characters would be changed, it won't be a professor/student relationship but still an almost boss/employee one... or maybe better described as senior/junior... idk didn't think that far..... but anyway...

she's very happy for him but also curious to how the book turned out, curious to know what was going on inside his mind when they had their affair. she gets the book, curiosity becoming too much for her to bear.

so she reads the book. probably won't be too fond of some of the things written but recognizes the beautifully written raw emotions and feelings and feels the depth of them. she sheds many tears while reading the book, realizing how deeply he truly loved her. her heart clenches at the memory of him, of everything they went through. she realizes she still holds him dear to her heart. and she has nothing romantic going on for her right now, she's wondering how his situation is. based on what she read she is hopeful he still feels the same somewhat. i mean, it's been years and he book is being published only just now... she's trying to make sense of why he would still be interested.... but without thinking about it much further, she decides to go to the event, ask for her book to be signed.

she's nervous obviously, waiting until the last of the people have gotten their books signed. just as chris is wrapping up and starting to leave, y/n walks up to him and nicely asks for him to do one more signature. he immediately recognizes her voice. though it's been years, his writing has kept it alive. every time he described her voice, he could hear it in his head. you had stayed to haunt him even after all this time.

the two will catch up, fidgeting awkwardly. it's been years, jumping right into each other's embrace would be quite weird and awkward for them. they still kind of want to do that... but anyway they keep it all civil and everything but end up agreeing to meeting up for dinner or something. they will be going for dinner and on the drive be talking and catching up but during the ride their plans change. though both of them wanted to take it slow and be careful, they just cannot wait. they go up to either one of their apartments or a hotel room one of them is staying at (didn't think where this event would be held) and just go at it. it'll be passionate, emotional... they will take their time, make sure to show each other how they truly feel when they've never really been experts at communicating verbally, but no need to worry, they'll learn in time.

it will end with them sharing their want to take things slow but throwing that out of the window. they finally have the chance to be together, they want to get right on it. jokes will be made about moving fast, even a quick vegas wedding might be brought up only to be challenged with a "ok, maybe take things just a liiiiiitle bit slower"

but yeah so in the end they do end up together. that's what i had planned for the story. i hope you liked it, i'm sorry if you didn't. i know how bothersome it can be to have a story you like be left completely unfinished with no closure but i hope you find some closure in this if that's what you were missing. i know it's not written in the best way possible, but it gives you the gist of how the story would end if i finished it. if you have any questions, let me know and i'll see if i can answer them.

i'm sorry for those of you who wanted this story to be continued. that sadly won't be happening from me. if any of you want to give this story a go, to put your own little twists into it, you have my permission. just remember if you decide to continue the story, or you're inspired to write something based on any of my stories, remember to give credit when credit is due. and with all of that said do what you want with this permission.

again, i hope this brought some closure to those who were seeking it. thank you for reading and voting for Wrong. It is a shame I can't quite put it into story form anymore. But I feel like even I got some closure from sharing what I had in store for you guys. Now I can let it rest with no remorse.

#wrong #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #professor!chris #student!reader #professor x student #college au

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silverbastardgoldenfool · 4 years

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Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Royal Assassin

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Not as stark a difference as with Assassin’s Apprentice, but definitely still there. Apart from all the obvious stuff, like feeling much more attached to the characters already and picking up more details, I think the biggest change was a complete lack of patience for the teen romance drama lol. There was a decent period where I was feeling quite frustrated with it. Not that I loved it the first time round, but back then I had a very different view of how it fit into the story. I saw it as teaching Fitz a depressing lesson of what it really means to be a royal bastard and a king’s man. Fitz’s literal need (for all he knows he would have been killed if not for his deal with Shrewd) and sense of duty to put his loyalty to his king and country first creates a relationship that is toxic, turbulent and built on lies. And teenage horniness masquerading as love. I saw all that the first time and thought it was just something he had to go through. Now I know it’s something he never really goes through but rather grips onto, romanticises and ultimately goes back to. I know the point of that is meant to be that he finally gets to have something for himself, but why it had to be Molly specifically??? I have very few qualms with Robin’s writing choices overall, but why she chose to write their relationship this way if they really are meant to be is beyond me, especially when so many of her other romances are written so well - it feels like it can’t possibly be unintentional. For most of this book they’re either fighting or fucking and honey! That ain’t love! Hell, Fitz all but sees her as just another demand on his time as the book goes on. But he can’t let her go because she’s the one thing he can point to that makes him feel normal. Not happy, not cherished, not safe. Normal. She’s simply a refuge from his real life. He literally says to Chade “I need her.” I find that so telling, man. It’s not really about her, which is a shame because Molly is great. They’re just really not good for each other.

So yeah. It’s just kind of trying to read all the Fitz/Molly stuff when you know and don’t like what it ultimately culminates in. At the same time… Bee… So I will always be conflicted lol. I just can’t separate the events of Royal Assassin from the furious disappointment I felt when I finished Fool’s Fate. Perhaps I’ll have a new Fool’s Fate experience this time that will make the next re-read a bit easier in regards to Fitz and Molly? But I won’t bet on it lol.

Anyway. It’s not as if I haven’t already said just about everything there possibly is to say about Fitz and Molly yet I also feel like I could go on about it forever. Luckily this is kind of as bad as it gets in terms of how much “screen time” they actually get (apart from Fool’s Assassin maybe? But they don’t bother me too much in that) so yay! I made it! And hopefully it’ll be a good few books before y’all have to endure my ranting about it again :)) Also hopefully this doesn’t give the impression that this read was more bad than good? It was mostly just a particular angsty chunk before they properly get together that was a bit of a slog to get through, but overall I really loved reading this book again and got a lot out of it.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

That Molly punches Fitz in the face hard enough that he bleeds and that Fitz fully intended to punch the Fool for asking if Molly was preggo before seeing he had already been beaten. I pretend I do not see it.

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

Omfg I was just about to say “huh we didn’t really get any major character intros in this book” bitch Nighteyes???? But in my defence I just. Cannot process the fact that Nighteyes is only really in 3 of 16 books he just feels omnipresent to me BUT his introduction is most definitely iconique and god I love him and he made me cry eight thousand times!

Favourite character arcs

Speaking of Nighteyes: what a glow up. He goes from angry, scared, untrusting little bb to……. Nighteyes. Like. How does one even describe the kind of person Nighteyes becomes. He’s just Nighteyes and I love him with all my fuckin heart!! He is Fitz’s constant… He is wise… He is silly… a comedic genius…… a big, open, unconditional heart. Incomparable. I can’t believe I’ve seen ppl saying they dislike/d Nighteyes……. Honey…… it’s called taste xx

Favourite quote/s

Again no tabs so it’s a bit harder to keep track but there were a few that stuck out enough to copy down. There are a lot of iconic quotes in this book that get shared a lot so I only bothered with ones I didn’t remember.

- “I wince to think of the price willingly paid for loving me.”

- “My soft, clean bed beckoned, like a soft, clean tomorrow.” (mood)

- “I looked and saw they were both made of hungers, like containers made of emptiness.”

Favourite relationships

Kettricken/Verity obviously. I was shocked by how little time they actually have together being in love before Verity leaves??? Because all I remembered was how strong their love is. But the whole journey towards that love is what makes it stand out as an actual compelling story in its own right. This is definitely one of Robin’s greatest skills as a writer; giving the minor characters depth by giving them their own relationships that grow and change and have a life of their own outside of Fitz. It makes the world feel so much more alive.

Also Burrich/Fitz in this book continues to be bittersweet, but with a lot more sweet in there than usual! They fully start out this book as a team. Burrich calling Fitz “FitzChivalry” makes me fuckin emo and idk why even. Burrich does seem to start seeing Fitz a lot more as his own person in this book which changes their dynamic in some rly nice ways. The fact that towards the end of the book Burrich even uses the wit to help Fitz is enough to make me cry tbh - and writing this has made me realise that I’m officially past any uncomplicated good times between Burrich and Fitz y’all mind if I fuckin die real quick!!

Fitz/Verity is soy pure and beautiful. Fitz and the Fool is always, always compelling and complex and tender and perfectly mysterious. But overall you’d have to say Fitz/Nighteyes, hey? They are literally meant to be, in a way so straightforward and undeniable and beautifully simple that I never really know what to say about it. Little brother!!! :’) They literally make me cry all the frickin time lol rip!

Favourite setting

There aren’t that many to choose from in this book! Ima go with the skill river bc hey, Robin’s magic systems are so unique and beautiful and the fact that the skill is written as a kind of a place is really frickin cool and deserves a shoutout.

Favourite chapter

The final chapter (not the epilogue) ummm broke my heart but it is written so beautifully, oh my god, it’s like an out of body experience. I feel like this is kind of when RotE becomes RotE - the first time it really goes to that place that is so fitting yet so unexpected, so beautiful, so tragic, so awful, so visceral. Making use of the genre to really test the limits of humanity; to see how far you can bend a person without breaking them and then refusing to turn away from the consequences. Idk man!! I don’t know how to describe it without sounding like a pretentious dick but it really is that intense and strange and overwhelming for me. There is something in that moment, when Burrich pulls Fitz’s body out of the earth and Fitz/Nighteyes is recoiling from it and deeply terrified… Something about the enormity of the existential questions raised converging with the pinpoint specificity of it all being wrapped up in the story of a character that feels so real and who you care about so deeply… It’s almost written like a horror scene, but that’s not quite the feeling. It’s just the RotE feeling; there are multiple throughout all five series, and it’s what makes these books unlike any other.

Most loved character

Fitz, Nighteyes, the Fool all had my entire heart this book. The Fool is just so sad and pathetic and literally must be protected!! I think I’m kind of obsessed with Burrich? Also I think I almost forgot how much I love Kettricken? She’s a complete badass of course but she’s also got the biggest goddamn heart like…. Who said she was allowed to be such a beautiful person???

But god, everyone. I love them all.

Most hated character

What can I say? Regal is disgostang. Wall Ass a close second.

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Shall I list just a few? :)

- Burrich screaming at Fitz through the bars of his jail cell, horrible things you can’t help but feel are at least a little bit true

- Burrich sobbing over Fitz’s dead body repeating, “You aren’t dead, you aren’t dead.”

- Fitz going to Nighteyes before everything went down on the night of the coronation and just fuckin hugging him really tight

- Fitz trying desperately to leave his broken vessel behind but not quite being able to disown his body

- The Fool being beaten

- The Fool being beaten again

- The Fool sprawled and weeping across Shrewd’s dead body

- The Fool really believing for a moment that Fitz had betrayed him and killed Shrewd

- Fitz tending the Fool’s wounds………. bitch….

- Chade giving Fitz a chance to escape with them and Fitz going to kill Serene and Justin instead

- Idk why this is even that sad but Nighteyes saying the only person he loves is Fitz!

- The entire incident with the forged ones literally tearing apart a three year old girl, which I had completely blocked out until now :)

- The fact that Fitz continues to be reminded and traumatised by this incident for the remainder of the book beCAUSE HE IS A GOOD BOY. A VERY GOOD BOY WITH A VERY GOOD HEART.

- Fitz repelling at Nighteyes to try and force their bond broken

- LITTLE BROTHER

- WOLVES HAVE NO KINGS

- High off his face Fitz calling Patience “mother” no shut the fuck up!!!!

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

- I’ve been trying for ages to decipher when the Fool started falling for Fitz, and I think I’m officially putting my money on their last interaction in AA. “I wish I had a place that was as much me as that place is you.” I mean. If someone said that to me… I’m not a slut but who knows, ya know? (I know this is more a note for the last book but I thought of it while reading this book. So shh.)

- It’s so clear to see this time how much Fitz’s sense of self and politics are affected by his time in the Mountains. He obviously feels much more inclined to their way of thinking about royalty and sacrifice and equality and returns to Buckkeep with a self-respect he’s never really had before. Weird how being among people who don’t just think of you as The Bastard will do that.

- It’s no wonder Fitz becomes so fixated on Molly; he literally has almost nothing else to occupy him and no companionship when she suddenly shows up

- It’s gross that he spies on her, obviously, but you can’t not take into account the fact that Chade has been teaching him since he was ten that this is justifiable behaviour; a reasonable way to gather information and get what you want. Fitz’s lack of social awareness goes further than him just being a little awkward; he has literally been trained to believe the only thing wrong with stalking would be getting caught.

- I’ve seen a few people talk about the fact that Regal isn’t appropriately punished as if it’s bad writing and like, while it is frustrating, it is supposed to be frustrating - it is not a plot hole. It made sense to me the first time I read it and it was even more obvious this time; Regal has the loyalty of the inland duchies. If he were to be publicly punished those dukes would rally behind him and raise hell, and Regal would no longer need to play the part of the dutiful prince. Even if Regal died a “natural” death - something I can’t see Shrewd or Verity orchestrating anyway - the inland dukes would feel that they no longer have a Farseer on their side and may, again, raise hell. It’s a delicate balance that would be outrageously difficult not to topple if you removed Regal from the equation. There is a lot more to it than I’ll bother writing here but yeah. I don’t really know how people can read this book and think that Regal retaining his life and position is some sort of lazy plot contrivance. It was all set up in the first book dude.

- Fitz and Nighteyes meeting in this book is the perfect metaphor for our need for connection versus the fear of inevitable loss. Fitz’s experience tells him that entering into a bond with an animal can only end in pain, yet he can’t resist it. In real life this is especially true with humans and our animal companions, since they almost always have a shorter lifespan than us; signing up to love them is signing up to lose them. But the same is also true of our relationships with other humans. And like Fitz, we have all had our fair share of loss and pain. We all have our reasons to be afraid of the connection we naturally crave. Sometimes we give in to the fear to the point of holding ourselves back from it entirely. That’s where Fitz is at when he meets Nighteyes. But what’s so beautiful about their arc as a metaphor is that it suggests that these connections, if we submit to them, are what keep our vital spark alive. Even when Nighteyes dies later in the series, the sentiment always remains, essentially, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Ya boi is projecting bc it’s hard to be vulnerable and make friends as an adult, but I think the observation stands. Love and connection and vulnerability are key threads that run throughout all of Fitz’s story, but in this book it is best represented through him and Nighteyes.

- “I hoped I would not become too adept at lying to myself.” Honey, you got a big storm comin.

- Very inch resting (gay) that Fitz finds it hard to meet the Fool’s eyes. I know almost everyone does bc his eyes are weird, but I reserve the right to reach and I will absolutely NOT be accepting criticism.

- I find it interesting that Fitz says Kettricken’s wit is not strong just because she doesn’t use it exactly the way he does

- I know it’s not meant to be funny but……. The way Fitz described losing his virginity had me literally laughing out loud

- Fitz was really like “okay i better go break my bond with Nighteyes” just cos he and Molly fucked. Teenagers don’t deserve rights.

- You know what? I really, really appreciate how fucking weird these books are lol. What other author would use their magic system to have their characters accidentally intruding on each other’s awkward sex stuff? Okay, maybe a few, but they would do it to be like, edgy and sexy. Robin Hobb just does it to make you cringe so hard you lose several years off of your life.

- But seriously, even apart from the cringe stuff, these books get so strange and out there and like! That’s what magic is for!

- Bruh. When Fitz is like “omg poor Verity…. He’ll never have what i have with Molly” I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone encapsulate the self-important delusion of teen romance so perfectly lol. Wow.

- Okay some Fitz/Fool stuff that made me lose my tiny mind. Sorry.

- Fitz literally said about the Fool “he burned too brightly” I WILL DIE.

- Fitz is always like, irritated by the Fool… yet positively delighted by his presence at the same time…… okay bitch

- Inch resting how Fitz has always been uncomfortable with the Fool getting serious. I don’t quite know how to put my thoughts on this into words so like. I’ll just put it there. Make of it what you will.

- “Sit on my clothes chest and take your shirt off…” i stopped fucking breathing noah fence

- “I ran my fingers lightly down the line of his jaw, and around his eye socket. At least no bone seemed damaged. ‘Who did this to you?’ I asked him.” my GOD this is literally textbook gay/romance. It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

- Straight from my notes: “I can’t even focus on reading this bc it’s the first time they are tending each other’s wounds and I am a homosexual!” and “the gays are quaking!! (it’s me I’m the gays)

- Okay wow! I think that’s it! Hello if you made it this far! Hope this was remotely coherent and I’m always keen to hear your thoughts on my thoughts :)

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

#rote #realm of the elderlings #royal assassin #royal assassin spoilers #fitzchivalry farseer #realm of the quarantine

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scorbleeo · 4 years

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The Fosters Season 1 | TV Show Review

Teenager Callie Jacob is placed in a foster home with a lesbian couple and their blend of biological, adoptive, and foster children.

Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2262532/

Why this Show is not Perfect but Close Enough

I have been planning watching this show since the first time I heard about it, and that was years ago (possibly around the time season 2 was out). But like the tradition of yours truly, procrastination got the best of me and thus, I only began the show now.

Honestly speaking, as much as I was looking forward to watching The Fosters Season 1, I did not actually have high hopes because I tend to enjoy TV shows of other genres more than a realistic storyline. This show really took me by a huge surprise. It took a while for me to get used to it but after the first three or four episodes, I could confidently say I was hooked on it! Although there were still flaws, I really enjoyed some of the topics they discussed or focused on in the show. It’s definitely something I want my younger cousins (or anyone young) to watch; they will learn–immensely–from it and grow to be better, more empathetic adults.

Why do I say that? There’s normalcy in sexuality in the entire season. Even when we disregard the fact that Stef’s father had a hard time grasping the idea of his daughter being a lesbian, there’s still normalcy in all sexuality. For example, when Jude painted his nails (I know Callie was objective of it but let’s not think about that), and he was strongly supported by Lena and Mariana. Also, after Jude got ridiculed in school and removed his painted nails the next day, Connor showed his support by painting his nails to school! Nothing was mentioned about sexuality there and that’s what I meant by normalcy, because...whoever made the claim that painting nails is only for a specific sexuality or gender right?

I also particularly liked the part where Jude was confused about his own sexuality and had that little chat with Lena. I didn’t quite like how quickly Lena dismissed Jude’s suspicion as simply confusion but I understand why she did that. What I really appreciated was how Lena mentioned that they should not describe which sexuality is normal or not, that they should not use the term ‘normal’ in their discussion. Because that’s the truth.

Something else that the show did amazingly was teach us the lesson of giving forgiveness before the luxury of doing so is robbed from us. This was during Stef’s father’s passing. First of all, let me just say, that episode robbed me of so much tears! But, I digress. This episode really taught me so much about forgiving others. Using Stef’s case: She only saw that when she was younger, her father strongly objected of homosexuality, now that she’s older, her father still could not accept his own daughter’s sexuality. What she failed to see was her father’s efforts and own struggles to accept her sexuality. To Stef, it was either an acceptance or objection, there’s no in between. But that is not the case and there are always at least two sides to a story. So in future before we condemn someone or something, or decide whether we should or should not forgive, we really should try to understand where the other side is coming from first. Forgive, before it’s not even a choice anymore.

Moving on, I really need to praise Callie’s growth in this season. I have to admit, I really did not like her in the beginning. She refused to talk, refused to ask for help when help had been offered, and yet she complained about no one being there for her? Spoilt was what Callie was. But from the beginning of the season to the last episode of The Fosters Season 1, I saw a tremendous growth in her personality. Granted, there’s still plenty of room to grow but she’s finally not that annoying girl I was irritated by in the beginning anymore.

Can’t see that growth I’m talking about? I mean, just look at how she handled her relationship with Brandon, and then look at how Brandon dealt with it. Tell me you cannot see the difference there. Also, Callie’s relationship with Mariana? I love it when two girls with their differences come out closer than ever in the end.

All in all, I really enjoyed watching Callie mature. She went from only trusting Jude to having a family and so many friends she’s genuinely happy with. Plus, she’s lucky to have Wyatt as a friend. I don’t know what will happen in the future seasons but Wyatt’s an extremely good friend to Callie now. And for someone as flawed and damaged as Callie is, she needs the support she gets now.

I had almost forgot about him but I have to talk about Mike. This man... I have never once disliked him. I felt his pain every time it became evident in the show. And...I really wish for his sufferings to stop already. It’s not his fault he fell in love with someone who would never love him the same way he did. Yet, while Stef moved on happily with Lena and Brandon’s in an extremely loving family, nobody seemed to care that Mike’s not okay. Brandon blamed his father (and alcoholism) for everything and anything, and that pissed me off because Brandon does see that it’s not his father’s fault. Yes, alcoholism usually starts with the person making the decision to pick up a glass of alcohol but there are times when you cannot make the right decision at that moment. It’s like asking a fuming person to not spout a word of anger, just how is that possible? Even if the anger is not verbalised, that same anger floods the person’s head, mind and heart. So yes, I feel much pity for Mike and the lack of care towards his direction.

Because while care does not go towards him, he cares deeply for everybody else; starting from Lena and ending with Callie and Jude–two people who had absolutely no link to Mike yet. Here are some examples... 1. He escorted Mariana at her quinceanera when asked, without any further questions and whatnot. 2. When Jesus was thought to be meeting up with his biological mother, he also went to help find Jesus, that ultimately caused problems for his job. Yet, he never once blamed Jesus, never. 3. When Callie ran away so Stef and Lena had to go find her, he took responsibility to look after the rest of the kids. That was the episode I finally wholeheartedly love this character.

What I want is for Mike Foster to have a better future in the next four seasons. I’m praying I don’t get disappointed when I am done with the show...

As much as I love The Fosters Season 1, there were some things where I was frowning deeply on. Mentioned earlier on in the review, I really did not like how Brandon handled his relationship with Callie. I mean, I appreciated his sacrifice at the end of the season but during the middle, I was hella pissed! However, as pissed as I was, I did not like what happened to him at the ending of the season! Bullies...why are they still a thing? Seriously. And linked to Brandon, can I just say I hate Dina and everything about her? She’s definitely the most toxic person in The Fosters Season 1.

Something else I disliked was the way Jesus did Lexi dirty. I shall say first that I like Jesus with Emma more. But...when Lexi gave Jesus a way out of their relationship, I cannot help but like Lexi so much more than before. She did not do that once but twice! That girl gave Jesus a way out of the relationship twice and he still did her so dirty. The Foster boys in this show (apart from Mike) are really something else.

Overall, The Fosters Season 1 was an extremely enjoyable show. A show that one can binge on. I might have taken a break in the middle of the season but I still binged the show like nobody’s business when I was back to watching the show. Once again, I must stress how much I love the lessons taught in the show. I genuinely appreciate it.

PS: Am I the only one who thinks the Callie-Brandon storyline was redundant?

Rating: ★★★★☆

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #292

“dear god, let’s make this fucking clear: dear god, there’s nothing that i fear”

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) Mom just grabs the Great Value jugs. Do you have a job? No. Are you full-time or part-time? N/A Are you watching TV right now? No. Or are you listening to music? Yeah, "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy. Such a great song. Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? No. I would NOT survive in jail. When's your birthday? February 5th. I cannot fucking believe I'm almost 25. Thoughts on kids? Too impressionable for me. Even with my niece and nephew, I feel like every single word I say just like... stamps into their brains, and what if I say something that negatively affects them? I feel like it's my responsibility as an aunt to be a fountain of wisdom when I'm definitely not. I just get nervous around kids. Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? I wouldn't call it a "punishment," but when I skinned the everliving fuck out of my knees and Mom was patching me up while I was just sobbing away, my dad literally roared "SHUT UP!" from my parents' bedroom, and it's stuck with me forever. Honestly, I think it may be a root in my extreme fear of men yelling. Worst punishment from Mom, probably this time where she smacked the shit outta my arm as a kid and left a clear handprint for a while. Are you the type who is completely against abortion? Why? No, I am firmly pro-choice, despite being pro-life most of my life. I don't feel like writing a moral essay, but basically, I absolutely cannot agree with forcing a woman to carry a human they don't want for whatever reason for nine fucking months, endure one of the most traumatically painful things known to man, and then properly and adequately care for that child. That is such a huge fucking responsibility that should be forced upon *nobody*. "But adoption!" Yeah, go tell that to the thousands of children waiting on you. This is leaning on exactly what I said I wouldn't do, so moving along. Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "I’ve read some books that were phenomenal, but I wouldn’t necessarily go so far as to say that they 'changed my outlook on life'." <<<< This was Johnny Got His Gun for me. Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? No. What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I would fucking freak. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, but I honestly do want at least one, primarily with a deep black and then some nice grays and neutral colors. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yes. Are your nails always painted? Quite the opposite. What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? I honestly don't really decorate because I just don't have the motivation, but Halloween is the best. Were you popular in school? Nope. Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? BANANAS, dark sodas (like Coke or Dr. Pepper), peanut butter can... It's hard for me to tell much now because I have chronic heartburn and am medicated for it. Works great, so I don't experience this much. Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Yes. Once my tattoo is done (I'm setting the appointment the next time we leave the house, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), what I have left is going towards Venus' new terrarium. She really needs a 40 gallon. Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? I was the art kid, and family still insist I should be an artist. What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Omg, Roman has so many. He nuzzles me all the time, will collapse into my hand to pet him, he insists on being the little spoon at bedtime (no, really), he literally tries to groom me with his teeth, licks my face... He is just a doll. My little buddy for sure. Now onto Venus. She loves to chill next to me in bed or find a cozy place under the covers, and omgggg does she love to slither around the bed doing the periscope thing. So curious. What's the screensaver on your computer? I don't have one. What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I am WEAK for nice shoulderblades/muscular shoulders ok. What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? I am an ass bitch and I will not hesitate to admit it ayyyyyeeeee. Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Nobody. Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? My sister Misty. She's planning to surprise Mom (her stepmom, anyway) by showing up in a few weeks with her fiance and all her kids she's never met but desperately wants to. My mom is the only "real mom" she's ever had, and she just feels so bad that she has a by now teenage daughter (among three other younger ones) that has never met her "grandmother." It's just an expensive and long trip, but Misty's finally called it enough and is just driving down here with everyone. Mom is going to fucking sob. ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? Nice timing for this, since her fiercely anti-mask bullshit is all I can focus on about her lately... but there are good things about her. She truly is a very loving, passionate woman that, just like me, feels deeply and expresses it. What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Does grimacing count from a sudden bodily pain? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? Yeah. I'm watching the VOD of Arin Hanson playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for charity, and he went on a total fucking laughing fit. His laugh is so precious, so I just couldn't stop grinning. What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Ensuring "grimace" was the right word for my former expression, even though I was pretty positive it was correct... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my English skills are degrading, particularly in spelling. It's concerning me. I was an English whiz my whole life up to now. My only guess is it's related to how godawful my memory is also declining. So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? No. When was the last time you were on a carousel? Probably not since I was a teenager being goofy with Jason or somebody. What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? I have a picture on my dA of a beautiful elephant walking RIGHT by its fence at the zoo. It was pretty amazing, considering just how incredibly immense their enclosure is. Have you ever played Halo? No, it's not my kinda game. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Oh, I'm positive I've read sections while in waiting rooms of various places. When was the last time you had a pillow fight? I have no idea. Realistically it was probably w/ Jason since that sounds like some cute playfighting thing we'd do, but I don't remember a particular instance. Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: "Retail works. The horror stories my mom has on the daily is absolutely ridiculous. People can be so incredibly rude." <<<< I absolutely agree with this; what friends and strangers alike rant about is just depressing. Nobody, especially those working through a goddamn pandemic that's killing thousands, deserves the disrespect that comes their way. Have some goddamn decency and know half the issues you bring up to retail workers isn't even their damn fault. Ohhhh, I could rant about this. In your own words, define what the word sexy means. So you mean like, what I think is considered sexy, not just the general definition? If that's the case, uhhh. Self-confidence (but absolutely not arrogance) is very attractive to me as a bitch who lacks it entirely, as well as good manners, being outgoing, and just... charm. I don't quite know how to describe that "charm" other than I'm really drawn to people who are unique and happy with it and just seem to have an aura about them that feels good to be in. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? I'm going to look at this question as if you're asking about my state and not general location because 1.) there ain't shit here and 2.) I'd prefer to keep relatively where I live quiet on the Internet. Looked it up and apparently NC's biggest tourist bait is the Biltmore Estate. Never been there myself, but it'd be pretty dope. Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? I'm in my own home and pjs, who the fuck wears underwear with that criteria lmao. Are you any good at volleyball? NOOOOOOOOO. I went to a volleyball camp thing once when I was younger and that shit hurts the hell outta your hands. I didn't stay long. Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Why of course. Do you think some babies are ugly? Quite honestly, probably most, especially newborns. Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I do; going there was one of the most exciting possible things to me as a kiddo. Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? Possibly. I mean they sure are pretty successful and well-known. Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Eh, it's not my preference, but I'll eat it. Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No, but I really should, given how dry my skin is. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? I'd like to not think about this. Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Lol definitely not. I think at least one on my older channel hit 1k somehow???? It was a birthday gift I made for someone. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? lol I already have one there. At some point I'm getting it covered, though. Do you like Robert Frost poems? I do! Do you go to church every Sunday? I never do. Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? No, I don't play that game. You want me or you don't, so I'm not wasting my time on your uncertainty or just our lack of stability for whatever reason. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Absolutely writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? ?????????????????? i don't?????????????? care???????????????? they're not my tits??????????????? What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I don't know. I avoid trying shit on like the plague. And then it ends up being too big/small. I wonder why. Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? I've only ever fallen asleep naked once, and accidentally at that, so I really don't remember how I felt about it? Consciously though, I would feel very, very vulnerable so don't have plans to when I have my own place. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? HAHAHA Y'AAAAAALLLLLLL THIS WAS DEADASS THE ONLY LUCID DREAM I'VE EVER HAD LMAOOOOO Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? My short-term memory is absolutely atrocious, like to the point it seriously affects my ability to get shit done. You can give me something that needs to be done and I will forget in a heartbeat. Now, my long-term memory is astonishing. I can remember many things from my childhood in incredible detail. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? I've had a concussion or two. I can't remember which. I didn't need surgery. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? Yeah: chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar II, and I think that's it. My head's a mess and a half. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? About to the small of my back; how it is now, which is pretty much shaved on the left and fades to near my chin on the right. I actually got it cut last month; we've gone to a family friend for years whose shop is just an extra building by her house and very rarely has more than two clients in it. We had masks on, of course. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I don't have any. Somehow, given my stress level at all times, haha. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? It's too short to style. I don't use any products in it but obviously shampoo. Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? Probably my mom. I think she was in a rotten mood for one reason or another and just being snappy and generally rude. Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? We do; it's by choice, and it'd be immensely ignorant not to where we live considering it literally gets picked up with the other garbage. Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I've never tried carbonated water, and flavored water rarely works for me due to artificial sweeteners giving me beastly headaches. So I'll just take really cold, filtered water. Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? I had to call the ambulance for my mom right before her cancer was discovered because she was literally immobile and in ungodly pain. When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? At my old college, as the newspaper photographer, I took some artsy pics up there. I will probably forever worry that leaving school resulted in the biggest career opportunity slipping through my fingers through that newspaper. Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? I guess about the normal amount you'd see in the country. Some dangerous animals live here, sure, that's probably everywhere, but you very rarely see any. Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? For suicidal thoughts and one attempt, yes. Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Ahhhh, do I know those well. Thankfully, it's been a long time since I had an all-out panic attack. Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? Nope. Well, besides being a vet, which I haven't wanted to be since I was a kid. Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? No. Because it's apparently a fuckin hoax or not as bad as the government wants us to think. Fucking cretins. Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. Real ones aren't worth the money nor mess. What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Caramel corn. Do you drink oat milk? No, but I'm interested in at least trying it. The dairy industry is absolutely repulsive if you look into it, and I'd love to do what I can to take as little part in it as possible... even though I am a dairy fiend. I seriously wish I could go vegan, I am just WAY too picky for it. Do you love thrifting? Oh fuck yes. I've been very few times in my life, but I'mm all about it. Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? I do find it visually appealing; I like the flow of similar letter height. I never do it for "serious" things, but on places where it's "for the aesthetic," it's likely that's how I'll write something. Do you say “mood?” Way too much lmao. Do you own fairy lights? No, though I would like them if it wouldn't look stupid in my room. Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? ... I didn't know glass straws were a thing. I have a handful of metal ones though, but I always forget I have one in my purse when I go out... Have you made a TikTok? No. Do you own airpods? No. Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I don't believe in a planet's position or whatever having any effect on people. Do you make life choices based on astrology? Definitely not, considering I don't believe in it to begin with. How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Maybe like, five? Number of jeans in your closet: Zero. What accent do you have? Not really any, but sometimes I sound kinda southern with specific words. Do you have a big butt? Yo I got a Hank Hill ass, so no. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? In my past relationships, yes, I assigned our anniversary to memory. I don't really... know why, like it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, I just do. Have you graduated? From HS, yes. I dropped out of college three times lmao. Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Ohhh, not sure. Maybe GaGa, but both ladies have songs I love. "Disturbia" doess beat all of her songs, tho. The fuckin BEAT. Do you use fake eyelashes? Never tried 'em. Which was the last book that really captivated you? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What makeup brands do you use? I'm not loyal to any, really. I would be if I could afford expensive shit, but yeah, that ain't my life.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''battle cry'' by blood on the dance floor

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grrlinthefireplace · 5 years

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Hey so I’ve been seeing you post a lot about La Casa de Papel recently. What exactly is it? It looks kinda interesting.

Thank you so much for asking!

I am delighted beyond reason to have the opportunity to tell you - and by extension the entire world - why this show has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and legitimately healed my soul after this particularly soul-crushing season of Grimdark White Man Television almost broke me as a human being.

I will attempt to keep this as spoiler-free as I possibly can, because this is a show that should be experienced in the moment, but in a nutshell, La Casa de Papel is a heist show set in present-day Madrid which follows both a found family of thieves who rob the Royal Mint of Spain, and the law enforcement officials on the outside who are chasing them.

If that is enough for you, go right to your TV or computer, fire up the ol’ Netflix, and don’t waste any more time.

If, however, you need a little more, here are the top five things I flail about to every single person in my life to convince them they need to start watching this show like immediately and then come back and tell me all about it.

For visual flair, we’ll intersperse them with some gifs of ladies, because I know my audience.

5. character driving plot > plot driving character.

You know that infuriating thing lazy TV writers do where, in order to to hurry up and get to the big explosion or battle scene or dragon attack or whatever, which is the only bit they really care about, they handwave away the whole concept of motivation and make some character do something that any halfway-attentive viewer will immediately clock that they would never actually do?

There is none of that bullshit here.

In its simplest form, the plot of La Casa de Papel is as follows: a brilliant criminal mastermind devises a heist which cannot possibly go wrong, and then we proceed to watch all the ways in which it goes wrong.

This is a fantastic setup for an action story, made even more breathlessly exciting by strategic use of my favorite heist movie plot device (as perfected by Ocean’s Eleven): namely, “scene where it looks like our crime heroes have been outsmarted and are now threatened by a completely unforeseen disaster” immediately followed by “flashback to the team prepping for the heist where we learn that of course they prepared for this exact scenario.”

But from time to time, things do actually go wrong (as they must, or else there would be no story); and, when they do, it is never because you can tell a writer just wanted to write a scene where bullets go flying, and didn’t care how he got there. These characters are so clear, their behavior so consistent, that when gasp-worthy plot twists happen, they happen because of course that character, in this exact scenario, would do that exact thing.

I’m telling you, I came to this show for a ship (more on that in a minute) and I stayed for a swooning, heart-eyes writer crush on the impeccably-designed plot structure and characterization.

4. High stakes, low gore.

Tone-wise, on a sliding scale of Heist Film Intensity where a really fluffy episode of Leverage is a 1, Reservoir Dogs is a 10, and the Ocean’s franchise is somewhere in the 3-4 range, I would place La Casa at a 5 or a 6, which is perfect for me. I love action, suspense, drama and adventure, but I hate gratuitous violence (especially when it’s pointless and masturbatory and doesn’t contribute anything to the plot) and have a very low tolerance for blood and gore. So I kept waiting for the story to eventually take a hard left turn into Tarantino Land, until eventually it was all just one huge pile of dead bodies, and was genuinely surprised when it didn’t.

This is how I learned just how badly my brain has been fucked up by lazy showrunners who think shock deaths are the only way to raise stakes. During the first season of this show, before I had figured out that it was a Flawless Gem of Television Which So Far Has Not Once Disappointed Me, there were probably a dozen moments where I was absolutely convinced that some character was about to be gruesomely killed for shock value … and I was wrong every single time.

Reader, it was fucking wild.

Every single time I was convinced that person A was going to shoot person B in the head because blah blah maximum angst over here in this part of the story and then it will motivate person C to do this other thing, the show did the hard work of finding a smarter, more unexpected direction to take that character’s story. That means that when deaths do come along - and there are a couple - they feel genuinely earned, and they matter deeply to the story and to us.

3. I would die for these women.

This show loves women. Like it truly, authentically, uncompromisingly loves women in all our fucked-up messy glorious complexity. There are no “types” or cliches here; no one is forced to be only one thing. Fuck your one-dimensional Strong Female Characters, lazy writers.

For one thing, on many shows you might be lucky if you get maybe one mom who is given a personality and a story outside of motherhood. Often, on shows written by men, the fact of her motherhood diminishes her strength or her agency. On this show, nearly every one of the central female characters is both a mom and an action hero simultaneously. Seriously. By season 3 there are four different battle moms. They’re all different, they’re not all on the same side, they have different perspectives, and their role as mother impacts the story differently, but that’s the joy of having a whole lot of different kinds of women - no one has to be everything to everyone.

These women are complicated. They laugh, they cry, they crack dirty jokes, they get laid, they have babies, they fight, they make mistakes, they fall in love, they grow. Men pull sexist shit and they shut it the fuck down. Some of them have love stories, some of them don’t, but they are never defined by or triangulated around relationships with men. They get to have relationships with each other. All of them are excellent at their jobs.

Tokyo is the kind of hot mess antihero protagonist we’ve been watching middle-aged white men play for decades.

Allison is such a realistic teenage girl it’s genuinely painful to watch.

Monica has one of the best arcs I’ve ever seen on television, this is not a drill.

Alicia is terrifying. (A pregnant black ops interrogator! ON WHAT OTHER FUCKING SHOW!?!??)

Nairobi is unlike any other character you’ve seen on TV before; she’s got a little bit of Parker from Leverage, a little bit of Raven Reyes from The 100, but she’s entirely her own creature and you will fall in love with her instantly.

And Raquel. Oh, my love, my angel, my hero, Inspector Raquel Murillo. Love of my goddamn life. A fierce, kickass hostage negotiator swimming upstream against a tide of workplace misogyny who sometimes has to make the frustrating little male-appeasing compromises we all have to make to get through the workday. A beautiful, sexy, powerful heroine over 40 whose femininity isn’t diminished based on some bullshit notion that, for example, pairing your tough-bitch suit and gun holster with red toenails and a lacy blouse detracts from your strength. A loving mom and daughter who has to juggle raising a small child and caring for an aging parent with the stress of, you know, trying to stop the biggest robbery in the history of Spain. A domestic violence survivor (TW for those who need it; nothing is ever shown onscreen, but it’s discussed several times) who is given the space to discuss the things that have happened to her and how she has worked through them with such dignity, accuracy and respect that you can tell the writers did their homework.

This is a show where you can tell there are women in the writers’ room.

2. The Professor and Raquel. I don’t want to spoil a single thing for you here except to say that I myself was lured into this show by the promise of electric sexual chemistry between a criminal mastermind and the police inspector hunting him down, and my God I was not disappointed.

1. Love.

This show came into my life at a period where I was so weary of cynicism on television - so fucking furious at showrunners who dangle hope in front of us and then crush it, who only care about building anything if they can tear it down later, who treat love and fun and joy and hope and family and happiness like they’re intellectually lesser than grimdark nihilism with no soul - that I was honestly kind of broken by it. I was just so. fucking. tired. Tired of “the way we show this heroine is strong is to kill off her love interest.” Tired of “sorry but all this rape and murder is NECESSARY because of REALISM” (particularly rich when coming from shows featuring evil A.I.’s or dragons and ice zombies). Tired of getting invested in relationships - whether ships or friends or found families - only to realize that the show I was watching was always going to sacrifice character to force plot mechanics into place, and those relationships were never going to get the kind of care and focus I wanted them to get.

But that is not this show.

The single most revolutionary thing, to me, about La Casa de Papel - the thing that sets it apart from every other rollercoaster action thrill ride on television - is that every single thread of the plot is tied to love.

Every.

Single.

One.

Love of all different shapes and sizes - parents and children, friendships, doomed crushes (straight and queer), toxic exes, blossoming romances, siblings - and over it all, a deep, deep love for humanity.

The thing I said before, about how when things go wrong they go wrong in character-driven ways? It’s this. Love is why everything on this show happens. Love is what makes children want to live up to their parents and what makes parents fight to leave a better world for their children. Love is why deaths have stakes. Love is why we spend so much screentime lingering on small moments another show might ignore, like all the thieves at heist camp sitting down every night to have dinner together and argue about paella techniques. Love is what causes chaos in the middle of the heist; when there’s one person in the room you care about more than the others, you can get distracted and take your eye off the ball. Love is how your enemies can get to you, by leveraging or blackmailing the people who matter most, knowing that you’ll crack if they’re in danger. Love, gone wrong, causes toxic men to develop possessive and controlling behavior towards women. Love is how the Professor gets the idea for the heist in the first place. The plan is flawless on paper, but it doesn’t account for the human variable, and over and over again we see that relationships and connection and sex and family and love cause people to behave in unpredictable ways and throw the whole plan into chaos, which is what makes for a dynamic and compelling story.

How refreshing to see a show simply refuse to grant the oft-repeated premise that a show cannot have both high-octane thrills, and a big soft squishy heart, at the same time.

ANYWAY, I’VE TAKEN UP ENOUGH OF YOUR VALUABLE TV-WATCHING TIME, GO JUMP ON BOARD THIS TRAIN AND COME SCREAM ABOUT IDEALISTIC SPANISH ROBIN HOODS WITH ME, AND LET THE GOOD SHIP SERQUEL INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU WON’T BE SORRY

THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

#lannister-slings-and-arrows #la casa de papel #money heist #from the inbox #i have a lot of feelings about this show #is this entire post just one long subtweet of 'the 100'#listen #maybe #i'm still pissed about kabby and will be for awhile #but legit this show was HEALING and CATHARTIC in some unexpected ways #yes virginia you CAN have functional loving stable relationships and high-stakes drama at the same time

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sanguinarius-archive · 4 years

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im not that familiar with treatsforbeats i watched like. a few videos but other than that i know nothing! but i would be glad to hear you info dump!

there is SO MUCH..... im gonna put a read more below because this turned out to be way longer than i expected. but you asked for me to infodump so here goes

okay so. treatsforbeasts, i dont know what the whole meaning behind the channel is. i cant specifically say what the goal of the channel’s content is because its all in my interpretation. but i do know that there are meanings behind each video as silly as it may seem and im just gonna list them off here (note that not all videos will be included since i may not be able to interpret every one, also this is going from earliest to most recent)

1. men with small hands carry very little treats to give to little girls with the sharpest little teethinterpretation of this video is csa/child sex trafficking. “little treats” refers to pills or some form of drug (small, makes u trip). however the “sharpest little teeth” could represent the little girl fighting back.

2. mom ordered ants for my birthdaychild abuse. mother forces son to watch and/or possibly engage in inappropriate activity with her husband.

3. i love jesusobviously a dark parody of christianity/catholicism. shows how blindly some fanatical christians/catholics will follow their beliefs, to the point where they no longer truly “follow” it as theyve warped the message to fit their own morbid desires (using christianity/the bible to excuse hatred and judgment upon others).

4. i me you love godanother dark parody of christianity/catholicism. i believe it mocks how fanatical christians/catholics focus only on the negative aspects of the bible instead of learning the true messages, as many of the words used are from the bible and are negative words.

5. behdsPROBABLY just a silly video but, i think it represents how people let negativity embed itself into their lives and complain about it even though it’s so easy to just let go of it.

6. jaffreymocking some sitcoms for how dumb and repetitive they can be.

7. kiss papa’s mustachepossibly child abuse, again.

8. storytimereferences/implies child abuse. storytime is also the name of one of treatsforbeasts’ songs on his Sanguinarius - Sin Nomine album.

9. hymns for him (1 + 2)just total parody albums of christian rock. vocals make you feel like youre dying but its actually kinda good to listen to in some parts

10. i screaming inside my headRoii (the character)’s first appearance. also probably symbolizes how depressing some kinds of music are

11. felines have nine livesnot sure but i feel like this is a warrior cats reference, in complete and total honesty (dont watch it if you dont like c/at d/eath though, its fictional but. yeah)

12. beastsreflection of society as a whole

then there’s. the two short films and sin nomine. so i’m gonna delve into that now and be warned, it’s fuckin long

treatsforbeasts is the self-titled short film and the first longest video on the treatsforbeasts channel. basically what i get from this is that treatsforbeasts, the channel itself, symbolizes an actual channel that chauncy (the child character in the short film, who is portrayed as a literal oral fleshlight with a body) watches. he consumes these concepts, such as internalizing misogyny (claw-paw skit), toxic masculinity (can i like balloons skit) and being exposed to a normalization of christianity (heaven and hell skit). there’s also a skit in which a spider binge eats and then proceeds to throw it up, which chauncy actually mimicks when his father brings him food.his father very much disapproves of these messages being shown on tv. he tells chauncy in regards to the claw-paw skit, when chauncy belittles the female character, “that’s not very nice, now is it”, and says “you can like ballons, you can love balloons if you want to”. his father goes on long tangents about how many institutions have normalized and inherited the concepts of christianity, and that it is one of the contributing factors of violence in the world. he references colonization, the holocaust, and in general mentions minorities.we learn that the father actually ended up being a father to chauncy in the first place due to (nsfw tw) masturbating in a sock to a picture of robert smith, and 9 months later chauncy was born. so technically there is no mother. the father talks about the meaning of life, and how everyone on the inside is a little bit of a freak, but there’s only two real ways you can accept that: 1) realize that your freakishness gives you a special lense through with you see the world and aid it in the ways the sane and happy ones probably cant, and 2) realize that real way number 1 is just lying to itself and that youre still a somewhat integral part of the lives of those you care for so deeply. he says that choosing which way to live really reverts back to the meaning of life, that you cannot live day by day believing there’s no reason to. “but whatever reason you give yourself to live, [...] you do it, because it is correct to live.”

sin nomine comes after the first short film, but i’ll delve into that after because really it touches on many many of the points and interpretations here.

the second short film, the beast is dead, was released just this year on valentines day! i think the main focus of the short film ranges from relationships to just once again a mockery of christianity/catholicism. once again it starts off with a father and his son. there is no mother figure present though she’s said to have left, due to the father watching too much “birdies”, a show, which i think is a metaphor for porn addiction. the father is implied to being prone to neglecting the son’s wants and not really caring for him, being disappointed in him, etc. etc..something important about the beast is dead is that it uses masks to portray those who are “followers” and those who are not. the father, interestingly enough, does not wear a mask. he seems to acknowledge what his son is saying when he goes on philosophical rants as well, but disregards them as nonsense and ends up leaving after bonking him with the stupid spike (metaphor for how parents will shut their children up by giving them a phone or toy to play with).the three other characters who don’t use masks in the beast is dead are Roii, Tom, and Doctor Zoughth (pronounced Zoth). Roii makes a comeback, finally! but this time he’s singing a song called “i love the sound of screaming babies”. it symbolizes how men will impregnate women and then run off, whether or not because they fantasize about pregnant women. it could also be a want of seeing a hurt child (hence the line “i know that all of you watching must think i’m insane, for loving when something so innocent is in so much pain”).however another interesting factor is that, the characters who don’t have masks, aside from Tom and the father, have red eyes at some point. this is a metaphor for how they’ve lost their humanity. Roii, at some point in the music video scene, only has one red eye whereas his other is normal. this hints at how part of him has lost his humanity while the other is still in tact.the other character that has red eyes is Dr Zoughth, but instead of him having only one red eye, both his eyes are red. this doesnt show until later though when he’s taken Tom away from the masked characters (followers). Dr Zoughth is very much self-aware. he is not blind, but simply has lost his humanity. Tom tries to reach out to him, to get him to think differently, that maybe resorting to coping with emotional struggles by worshipping something simple like flesh or something more higher than himself and forgetting his own mortality isn’t the healthiest way to live. but Dr Zoughth, having been long gone already, does not accept this and executes Tom.his own personal disciples grow tired of his tyranny and kill him and perform a ritual of some kind, disposing of his body (in the river i think, not sure). this entire ending of the film is basically the title, the beast is dead. but, i believe the beast is not dead, personally, because someone like Zoughth will always live on in other people, other beasts.there’s also a scene called grandma hespar and i think it implies how little people focus on sexual abuse towards men (when it’s from women).

anyways, with that being said, it’s time for sin nomine.

so now that i’ve explained pretty much all of treatsforbeasts to you, and whoever else is reading, it’s clear that the person behind this has issues with christianity (or catholicism), and child abuse. the person behind treatsforbeasts is Jordan Diniz, as he is also the person behind sanguinarius.

sin nomine is a very personal reflection of jordan’s life from what i gather. it depicts his struggles with how he views the world around him, whether that be due to personal experiences or not. at first i interpreted most of sin nomine to be the story of someone who is lgbt, but with jordan himself coming to me and telling me he is straight (POLITELY), it’s clear that is not the case.

so it most likely has to do with trauma. either religious or not, or both. it even says in the song storytime (remember i mentioned it earlier?), “fast hand, white hot trauma, reverberates inside the skull. innocence and intellect raped, reveals a view of a darker world. flesh on flesh, the bonds of affection - confused for the bonds of submission and fear. self-hatred and mistrust repel all beauty that comes near.” i don’t like to say that this solidifies a personal experience, but it’s highly possible.

a lot of sin nomine kind of goes over the same points in different ways, but it makes you think. i definitely feel like something happened to jordan at some point in his life but that is his story and it’s not my place to truly tell, since i don’t know him personally.

there’s also the other channel, adrianturcher. it has videos with seemingly no real purpose except for there being two videos with the same names of two songs on sin nomine, “nex memoria” and “a fetish for psychos”. nex memoria is just a compilation of clips that seem to symbolize the process of death (nex memoria is a latin phrase which very roughly translates to “memory’s death”). a fetish for psychos is a bunch of old clips from parties and shows that possibly jordan himself attended. they’re from 2002 judging by the date in the video. the lyrics in the song “a fetish for psychos” also seem to hint at these events, so it’s possibly that it’s like looking back on happy memories that make you feel sad instead or something. the song also might possibly reference a mother at the beginning.

sanguinarius also has its own channel simply called sanguinarius. there’s the music video for divine comedy (one of the songs on sin nomine) and a cover of because you’re young by david bowie, posted on his birthday a year after his death.

anyway, that’s. pretty much all i have to say. jordan diniz is a fuckin’ mastermind, he’s really good and cool and he’s very kind from my experience talking with him a couple times. he supports the gays as well!

sooooo, treatsforbeasts does have some very creepy/unsettling moments in its content but its EXTREMELY good and i recommend getting into it if you can. 100/10

#asks #tfb #treatsforbeasts #sanguinarius #ok 2 rb #deerlcorn

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