#she never pushed him to learn things if it got too hard. just set us both up for failure in different ways really

[etls]

so fucking angry. why. why did my mum KNOWINGLY treat me worse because she knew some of what I had been through and knew she couldn't fix it. so she minimised everything I felt. ridiculed me for showing any emotion. still does so to this day. but she ADMITTED. that she fucking abused me my entire LIFE, because I was going through so much that my mental health wasn't fixable by her. so she chose to add to my issues? and now she gets fucking upset when I tell her I will never be her fucking friend? that we will never get along? you fucking CAUSED this jo-anne you did this to your fucking SELF.

#want to put this on main but I complain too much there so #aaron #hi my names aaron and ive been here ages but had the most non solid identity ever and I have So Much Trauma hows it fucking going #I'm so fucking exhausted and angry all the time and we can't even get a break now we are 24 this MONTH #cant get over her telling me her reasons for this. her APOLOGISING. then continuing just the same a week later #business as fucking usual. #but if my fucking brothers ~depression~ gets a bit bad she makes sure we All treat him as gentle as fucking possible #she made sure he has never faced adversity. she was the model parent to him his entire life. #she told me I was a lost cause by the time he was born. I was 3 when he was born. so what does she fucking know about that she wont let on #because not many 3 year olds have enough trauma and bad enough mental health to be written off by their mum as a lost fucking cause. #it's funny. me and my brother are both fucked in the real world. him because he's never had to do anything difficult in his life #and me because I'm too messed up to even function anymore. I'd say I'd rather be like him but at least I'm not genuinely fucking stupid #she never pushed him to learn things if it got too hard. just set us both up for failure in different ways really #at least if I ever get out I have the drive to do something with my life. eventually.

[fangswbenefits]

The Arrangement (9) - The Arrangement

Chapter summary: Ava proposes an arrangement, and things get out of control with Astarion... once again.

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. Alcohol. Innuendo. Body worship. (almost) Fingering. Sexual tension.

Word count: 6k

Series masterlist . Ao3

Ava extended the palm of her hand across the table, expecting you to comply with her silent request.

But you weren’t so easily swindled, especially when too much of her story was beginning to rub you the wrong way.

As such, you feigned complying by placing your hand atop hers, whilst your other carefully unsheathed the dagger at your hip.

Her face held a honeyed smile that you didn’t return, and your watchful eyes followed her every move, 

But before her knife could come close to your skin, you got on your feet, sending the chair sliding across the floor before you made a lunge for her, plucking her from her seat with one hand and pressing her back against the cabinet behind, your dagger firmly held against the side of her neck.

She did try to swing the knife in her hand, but you immediately caught hold of her wrist and squeezed tight until she dropped it on the floor.

“Sharp reflexes,” she noted with a curt smile.

You held her in place with the weight of your body, the sharp edge of your blade ready to slice through her skin.

“You sound surprised.”

She smiled again. “It is uncommon for sorcerers to be so skillful with anything but a staff and fancy hand flourishes.”

“Not many have the opportunity to learn from a seasoned rogue.”

Astarion had taken a liking to honing your dexterity, even when constantly remarking you’d never rival his.

However, in this particular moment, it did come in handy and his teachings had paid off.

“Unfortunately for you,” Ava said, her smile dropping slightly. “You are not the only one with tricks up their sleeve.”

And before you could question her remark, you felt the cool sting of metal tapping against your neck, just above the faint bite marks from the night before.

For a moment, the grip on your dagger faltered, but you quickly regained composure, not easing the blade pressed against her skin.

“This is coated in a most agonising poison.”

You offered a devious smile. “What a coincidence – so is mine.”

“Astarion’s?”

“Touché.” 

A homebrew recipe that he had once shared with you.

Travelling together with Astarion had given you the opportunity to broaden your skill set and that covered knowing how to brew most basic poisons.

She did look far too amused for someone who you could easily incapacitate should she stray but a little.

“And here I thought we had made some progress.”

Her taunt made you snap at once. “How much of an idiot do you take me for?”

She arched an eyebrow. “Idiot?”

You pushed harder into her, causing the glass jars inside the cabinet to rattle. “Your story sounds a little too convenient. You were a monster hunter for decades, then had a sudden change of heart, and tracked down Astarion to aid him,” your words were venomous enough to match the poison coating your blade. “I’m sorry if I have a hard time believing someone could just abandon their principles all at once and even go as far as to kill their own kin.”

Her arm was gripping yours, but you didn’t flinch, your eyes boring into hers. “You don’t have to believe me. I wouldn’t either, to be frank. However, you shouldn't be passing judgement when it comes to others having changes of heart.”

You remained silent.

“You took a leap of faith with Astarion, did you not? You trusted him even after learning he could easily turn on you,” she went on, her voice now firm and low. “But he didn’t. He proved he could change, even when it goes against his very nature as a vampire spawn.”

Another wave of anger flared inside you.

How could she even compare this situation to that of Astarion’s? She was nothing like him. She didn’t know the first thing about the two of you. 

“You utter sweetened words and use my bond with him to make me sway,” you said in a low warning tone. “But I simply don’t like you. It’s not even about you wanting my blood – it’s how you so easily take and take from him and expect me to compactuate with it.”

Ava scoffed, trying to push you off of her but to no avail. “So is that why you’re here? To stake your claim?”

" Claim? Astarion is his own person.”

She chuckled darkly. “Yet here you are, speaking on his behalf. Enlighten me on how that works.”

Her words tore through your flesh more effectively than the knife she held to your neck ever could.

You immediately let go of her as if suddenly burned by her touch and took a few steps back, falling silent.

Was that the impression you gave her? That you were taking away his free will on this matter? Would he think the same if he knew how close you had been to sinking your dagger into her?

Shame.

Guilt.

Your chest felt impossibly heavy from the weight of your doubts, and you dropped your arm at your side at once.

Ava adjusted her dress as she straightened up, but there was no triumphant smile on her face. “I am not the enemy. You don’t have to trust me – Hells, you don’t have to like me – but he does to an extent, and I already said that I do not take a single drop of his blood without his full consent, as I won’t take yours.”

It was starting to overwhelm you just how hard Ava was to decode. You wanted to trust her word and to believe that helping her with your own blood could be helpful to Astarion in the long run, especially if there were people out there who wanted to hurt both of you.

But you just couldn’t bring yourself to fully digest her reasoning without asking the proper questions and double checking.

You were once told: “Never swallow before chewing.”

“Why did you kill your group, then? Why not just leave?”

Ava’s pleasant features turned sour as she returned to her seat. “There are no fiercest shackles than those of the mind. I know it. Astarion knows it,” she said nonchalantly, placing her knife on the table. “Not that I expect you to resonate with this as I’m sure you’ve lived a sheltered life.”

You’re wrong…

On so many levels.

But you weren’t going to give her leverage on your past.

Not even Astarion was aware of the intricate details of your upbringing.

“Sorcerers are born with an innate talent for magic wielding,” she went on, her eyes fixed on you. “I wouldn’t be surprised if your family in Baldur’s Gate ranked up high with the rest of the nobles.”

You narrowed your eyes, lips still pressed shut.

It was unfair that she was drawing all these assumptions in regards to you when they couldn’t be further from the truth.

There had never been privilege. 

The magic coursing through your body was what made you nearly lose it all once…

But silence was your best weapon now.

“Not everyone has that privilege – I know I didn’t. I was forced to do the bidding of others, because that was all I knew growing up until Astarion’s case put things into perspective. Sure, I did expand my knowledge on Alchemy here and there, but I was never allowed to openly practice it,” there was a faint hint of sorrow in her voice that nearly made you feel sorry for her. Nearly. “So long as they lived, I would never be truly free as they would make sure I’d painfully regret leaving them. But I was done hunting those who could use a second chance, which was exactly what you offered Astarion.”

Her answer absolutely floored you. 

Your mind wanted her explanation to not make any sense.

You wanted a reason to hate her.

A reason to tear her bond with Astarion to smithereens.

Yet here she was, giving you seemingly truthful justifications to her deeds, which further troubled your heart and mind and completely defied your anger.

Eventually, you slid your dagger back in its holster with a long sigh. “Who’s after us?”

She crossed her legs. “I have my suspicions, but I need more time.

As much as you wanted to take her vague answer at face value, your common sense spoke louder this time.

“How can I be sure you’re not just feeding me some fable to cover up your own tracks?”

She chuckled almost in disbelief. “You truly are a tough one to crack, no doubt. I have a solid alibi, if that is what you’re requesting.”

“Go on.”

She paused briefly as if pondering her next words. “I was with a patriar.”

Hold on…

“Who?” you immediately shot back.

“Someone from the Parliament of Peers.”

Now, this piqued your interest. “ Who?”

“Rob Sorel.”

The wealthy baldurian merchant with an uncanny reputation for being ruthless when his interests were involved? The man whose wealth could easily overshadow that of a duke?

That seemed like a stretch.

A very unsettling stretch. 

You crossed your arms. “And what were you doing with such an influential patriar, especially so late at night?”

Ava gave you a long and hard look, lips tugged upwards, unveiling her amusement. 

Oh.

Oh.

“His influence reaches beyond Baldur’s Gate and I am able to gain exclusive access to wares that aid my research.”

You felt tempted to ask what the trade off was, but judging from the way her face twisted deviously, you could tell it probably revolved around carnal pleasure, which you refused to know the sordid details of.“Feel free to have Wyll cross-check this information as I’m sure Rob has mentioned my name.”

This nearly sent off alarm bells ringing in your head. “Wyll had never heard your name before I told him.”

She chuckled again, drumming her nails on the wooden surface of the table. “Oh, but he has . Ava is short for Avalar. I have had long dealings with Rob and he will uphold my alibi. Feel free to ask.”

Against your better judgement, you began to feel less… wary of her.

Not that you were able to fully let go of your gut feeling, but every answer was delivered with almost no hesitancy on her part and, truth be told, you would quickly be able to catch her if this involvement with a patriar was nothing but a desperate lie.

A sudden knock on the door made you jolt in place.

It was Wyll. “We ought to get going. Are you done?”

Your eyes remained fixed on her. “Yes. We're just going over some details.”

He didn't reply again and you saw Ava raise her eyebrows. “Details?”

You ignored her remark. “Will you try to track whoever is after us, then?”

“I will.”

You swallowed. “What's the price?”

She rose to her feet and took slow yet sure steps towards you until she was close enough for you to fully see the olive green colour of her eyes.

“Let's just say our interests are temporarily aligned.”

Bullshit.

“You wanted my blood.”

“I want your blood, yes. But I will settle with running a few more experiments after he's fed on you, if you accept this condition, that is.”

As far as you were concerned, you would rather she stopped meddling with anyone's blood, but Astarion seemed so confident in her promises…

Maybe there was a chance of success… maybe she could truly help with their hunger.

Maybe.

“Only after you tell Astarion about this discovery of yours in regards to his blood mixing with mine,” you said firmly. “Or I will.”

She nodded, offering a sweet smile.

“Don't think of this as payment, though. A mere transaction. An arrangement, if you will.”

You were starting to dread that term as of late. It was as if everything revolved around transactions and that it was the only way people knew how to properly function and establish relationships with others.

Slowly, you nodded and, for the second time that night, Ava extended her hand to you, only this time you took it in yours. 

A mysterious smile settled on her lips until you pulled her closer to you, lowering your voice, “I still don’t trust you.”

“I’d be disappointed if you did.”

You glared intensely into her eyes, hardening your face. “Any small step in the wrong direction, and you’ll hear from me.”

She nodded. “Deal.”

Then you gave her a firm shake before letting go and exiting her room without even looking back, as you were in dire need to distance yourself from the overwhelming events of tonight.

Wyll hurried to your side, glaring at you inquisitively. “So? What did you find out? Is she to be trusted?”

“Do you know a woman who goes by Avalar?”

He tapped his chin pensively for a moment. “Avalar? That name does sound familiar. Wait – she is Avalar? The merchant?”

You nodded as you made your way down the staircase, feeling the uncomfortable and draining presence of the mage slayer right behind you.

“She is connected to Rob Sorel, right?”

He hesitated at first, grabbing your arm and bringing you to an abrupt halt as you reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Lord Sorel isn’t one to trifle with idly. If she is indeed who she claims to be, then we must keep an eye on her.”

You felt a shiver run down your spine, already feeling that you might have given her the benefit of the doubt too quickly.

Wyll turned to one of the Fists by his side and gave him a silent command to which the man nodded and exited the tavern.

“She said she was with him on the night we were caught, and that Sorel will vouch for her.”

The commotion around the two of you from the rowdy and very much intoxicated crowd made it nearly impossible to hold a proper conversation.

“I will dig around,” he said with a raise of his voice, guiding you to the door.

But you yanked free from him, which earned a wary look from the other Fist.

“I need a drink. Please.”

The Fist spoke before he could, “My Lord, I don’t think we should linger any longer.”

You rolled your eyes and promptly made your way to the counter, squeezing past a few smelly individuals who grumbled in 

Bork appeared rather quickly in front of you, and you blinked twice.

“What can I get you, missy? ”

Wyll was by your side at lightning speed. “Are you sure you want to have a drink? Now?”

You never felt a particular interest in indulging in alcoholic beverages, but you craved it now more than ever.

“A pint, please.”

Bork’s lips parted into a devious smile and you tapped your fingers impatiently as he shifted to work on your request.

“You are not one to hold your liquor, if I remember correctly, my friend,” Wyll noted, already placing one gold piece on the counter. “Mayhap you ought to take a sip or two before we leave.”

He was absolutely correct, but you also needed a quick way to numb your restless mind. 

At worst you’d get a bit too intoxicated.

At best, you’d find a way to, hopefully, sleep through what was left of this night.

As Bork set the mug in front of you and eagerly collected his payment, you grabbed it with both hands and proceeded to down the sweet liquid.

In one go.

Wyll’s hand tried to ease your eagerness, but you slapped it away with a chuckle. 

“Why do I have the feeling I will have to carry you home after this?”

By the time you were through with the ale, you realised you had made a severe mistake.

If Wyll had not been there to steady your unbalanced feet, you would have certainly tripped on the nearby stool.

Fuck…

By the time you made it back home, it was more than evident you should not have drunk all of it.

But it seemed that your brain was starting to morph a sense of guilt into finding anything within your grasp to be rather hilarious.

Even when you almost bumped into the mage slayer stationed outside your house.

You gave them a wide grin and a pat on the shoulder as if he couldn’t easily split you in half.

Wyll pushed the  door open and guided you inside with both hands gripping your shoulders for added support.

“Easy now. Mind the step.”

You completely disregarded his warning, which led to you almost losing balance if not for his strong arm that looped around yours, pulling you back.

You giggled.

He was truly a sweetheart.

Inside, you were met with the dim flickering of a few candles that provided enough brightness to spot the love of your life.

Wait.

Love of your life?

Scratch that. What a ridiculous overstatement. 

“What in the sweet Hells took you so long?” Astarion said with a scowl, rising from his chair and heading straight towards you like an arrow.

You giggled again, throwing your arms in the air. “You stayed up and waited for me!”

Astarion halted abruptly in front of you, hands on both hips. “I don’t sleep as I’m sure you’re aware. What is wrong with you?”

Wyll patted your back reassuringly. “She…drank a pint, and – well… this is the result.”

Suddenly, there were two Astarions standing next to each other and you yelped in shock, flinching back. 

“Why are there two of you?” you asked, pointing at them.

Both of them cocked an elegant eyebrow. “Two of what?”

Odd.

They moved and spoke in perfect unison. 

If one Astarion was already such a headache at times, you couldn’t even begin to fathom what two Astarions would be capable of. 

Driven by curiosity, you tried to reach out to one of them with your hand, but grasped nothing but air as your vision corrected itself and only one Astarion was left.

Really odd.

But entertaining.

He quickly gripped your gesticulating arm by the wrist. “Will you stop it? You’ll hurt yourself.”

The sudden proximity made your stomach turn dangerously, but you were far too amused to care. “ You’ll hurt yourself ,” you mimicked poorly, earning another scowl.

“I let you out of my sight for a few hours and this is the result,” he said with a sigh, then turning to Wyll. “Why would you let her drink a whole pint?”

Wyll rubbed the back of his neck. “She insisted, and I figured she could use the distraction.”

“What happened with Ava?” Astarion pressed.

Oh, Gods… not her again. “Will everyone please stop talking about her? Gods!”

He then pulled you closer to him, not letting go of your wrist, but easing his grip.

His beautiful eyes met yours and you felt yourself swoon, feeling the image of Ava dissipating into thin air.

Gods… he was the most beautiful man to ever grace this earth, no doubt.

Books should be written on his beauty and songs should be sung in his honour.

You felt yourself smile widely at him, feeling a rush of heat flood your face.

You’re so handsome…

His brows immediately furrowed.

Oh.

Shit.

You had said that aloud.

But you stood by it.

Astarion was so very handsome.

The only man who could make you yearn for him and have your heart and soul enamoured by all of him.

Then his face gradually softened. "Well, good thing there are no newshounds nearby. Can you imagine the headlines in tomorrow’s paper about the hero of Baldur’s Gate making a fool of themselves?”

You felt so giddy and drunk in his beauty that you just nodded at every word that spilled from those full lips that you wish you could just–

Whatever you say, handsome…

“Where’s Shadowheart?” you heard Wyll ask.

Astarion shrugged. “No one else is here, and it’s not as if I’m their mother.”

He was so snarky and it just made you almost melt under his touch.

“I can stay if need be.”

You rapidly turned to face Wyll, and immediately felt dizzy as Astarion steadied you. 

“Please stay! We can have a party!” you suggested with a dramatic pout.

Behind you, Astarion scoffed. “I’m quite sure dear Wyll is busy with his Duke duties, darling.”

Wyll chuckled. “I always make time for my friends.”

“Well, I can take it from here,” he retorted and you could spot a hint of disdain in his voice.

So attractive…

Astarion then lifted your arm and wiggled your wrist. “Say goodbye to Wyll, sweetheart.”

You giggled dramatically again. “Goodbye Wyll!”

He took a step forward and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I’ll be back tomorrow once I have an update on what we discussed.”

Astarion pulled you away from him at once with a gasp. “Keeping secrets from me? Oh, you two lovebirds.”

Hold on!

No! You weren’t that close to Wyll.

As you were about to protest, Wyll spoke, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sound jealous, Astarion.”

“What is there to be jealous of, I wonder?”

You nodded vehemently, finding it utterly amusing how he sounded so territorial all of a sudden.

Adorable man.

Wyll gave a lighthearted chuckle before turning to leave. “Well, I’m sure I can think of a few reasons.”

You laughed way too loudly at his remark, which caused Astarion to click his tongue in annoyance.

Adorable.

The door closed shut behind him, and Astarion immediately spun you on your feet to fully face them.

“What were you thinking? Drinking a pint?”

You couldn’t care less about what he had to say in this moment, and simply glared at his face, your hazy mind reminding you just how much you adored him.

And before you could restrain yourself, the words tumbled from your mouth. “I… I really like you.”

Idiot.

A deafening silence settled around you, and you began to feel an increasing wave of nausea as he merely glared at you.

Then you giggled, trying to disperse the awkwardness as fast as possible.

He didn’t laugh with you, tugging at your hand instead. “I think it’s time to get some sleep, darling.”

Too bad you were clearly incapable of walking in a straight line, which earned his attention. Without a warning, you felt your balance shift rapidly as he scooped you in his arms, effortlessly carrying you along the dim corridor.

“Put me down! Astarion!”

Instinctively, you looped your arms around his neck for support, but still trying to wriggle out of his fierce hold.

“I don’t need to be carried… please put me down,” you whined. “I - I will curse you!”

An amused smile tugged at his lips. “How very ferocious of you. I suppose we should have gotten you drunk more often back then. I’m sure our foes would have fled in horror at the sight of you.”

You slumped into him with a pout. “Mean.”

He pushed the door to your room open with a nudge from his shoulder, before easing you back on your two feet again.

The room was plunged in darkness and you felt him shift away from you, setting alight a single candle next to your bed, and you blinked a few times to adjust to the clarity.

You were now entering the less amusing stage of your insobriety and you could feel yourself scowl at him, clumsily crossing your arms.

“I should have hexed you.”

“Darling, the only thing you’ll be hexing in that state is a doorknob.”

You snorted at his playful jab. “I was perfectly capable of walking!”

“Into a wall? Yes, indeed.”

He then moved back to your side, helping you out of your cloak and quickly wrapping a blanket around you.

The simple gesture was enough to melt your defiant demeanour at once.

The two of you stood there in silence, eyes locked and you found yourself wishing he’d kiss you, but you knew he never would.

Astarion valued consent above all else, and he would not cross any lines. Each time you had gotten ahead of yourself in terms of sobriety, he always reigned you in.

And that was just one of the many things you adored about him.

How safe he made you feel and how you knew he’d never take advantage of your vulnerability. 

“You need to properly rest,” he urged, ensuring the thick fabric around you was tucked properly in place.

Just as you were about to head to bed, you felt the room tilt to the left and you yelped, clutching onto him for support.

“I’m going to fall!” 

The walls around you began to swirl and sway and your own legs wobbled.

A genuine laughter rumbled across his chest as he patted your back. “You silly little goose. Your warped mind is playing tricks on you.”

That term of endearment caught you slightly off guard and your heart fluttered.

Gods…

Why was he so easy to love?

Or was this the alcohol talking? Were you truly so far gone, that the alcohol was merely making it easier to surface your feelings?

Either way, you wouldn’t voice them, and allowed him to guide you to your bed, helping you to slip under the bedsheets. 

It felt rather good being taken care of this way. 

Maybe he didn’t think of this as anything but a nuisance, but you were grateful, nonetheless. 

“Thank you…” you mumbled in a whisper, gripping his hand.

The ceiling was now begging to spin dangerously fast and you had to close your eyes to help with the overwhelming sensory overload. 

He didn’t reply back, but you felt him tugging his hand away from your grasp.

A sudden shiver of panic coursed through your body. “Please stay? You always leave…”

Please…

He relaxed his cool hand against yours.

Slowly, you peeled back an eyelid only to see him easing onto the spot next to you over the covers.

You turned on your side to glare at him and he mimicked you, meeting your eyes in silence.

“How do you feel?”

In love.

“Well…”

He nodded and you smiled warmly at him, probably looking rather silly, but too mesmerised by his face to even look away.

“May I touch you?” you asked hesitantly.

He arched his brow, but nodded.

You lifted your hand and with a single finger, you began to slowly trace the bridge of his nose, admiring how he didn’t just look perfect…

He felt perfect…

“You’re so beautiful…” you sighed, feeling the slight bump of his nose as you trailed down to his lips. “So… so beautiful.”

He chuckled deviously. “I’m all for praise, darling… do go on.”

And you wanted to, but you were beginning to feel lightheaded, and your hand dropped from his face and your eyes dropped close.

“Or not…” you heard him say.

His voice seemed so distant now as drowsiness enveloped your senses. A part of you wished you could trace all of his face with the pad of your finger, worshipping every inch of him.

“Please, don’t leave…” you found yourself repeating.

He clicked his tongue. “I will if you vomit on me.”

You giggled, managing to shift closer to his body and rest your head on his still chest. “Deal, handsome…”

Your heated body welcomed his coldness, and it didn’t take long for your busy mind to progressively quiet down as you drifted off into a pleasant sleep.

It was the soft click of a door being shut that roused you from your sleep. With eyes still closed, you flipped onto your back with a pained groan as your body was hit with the aftermath of last night.

“Rise and shine,” Astarion’s honeyed voice filled the room.

You stretched yourself with a yawn, feeling your mouth dry as sawdust and an overwhelming thirst that nearly made you sob.

“I’m never drinking again…” you whined pitifully. 

The mattress dipped slightly next to you. “Well, how do you feel today?”

“Like death…”

“Your breath definitely reeks of it,” he said, voice dripping with disapproval. “I drew you a bath, as I anticipated you’d need one.”

At this, your eyes flew open. “Is this your chivalrous way of telling me I stink?” you grumbled, trying to make sense of your surroundings. 

The curtains were no longer drawn and the faint light bleeding from the top and bottom was enough to tell you the sun had already risen. 

He took your hand in his, tugging gently until you were sitting in front of him with your legs crossed. “Darling, you’re free to bask in that dreadful stench for all I care.”

You shot him a serious glare before bursting into laughter. “Good point. I need to get off these clothes…”

Astarion helped you on your feet and you carefully paced across the wooden floor and into the washroom.

A pleasant smell hit you as you stepped inside, with him following closely behind.

“I borrowed a few bath salts from Gale,” he informed, pointing to the round tub in the middle of the room, almost filled to the brim with steamy water. 

You glared at him in disbelief. “Borrowed as in… stolen?”

He shrugged.

You knew him too well.

“He does have a decent selection, yet manages to always carry the most interesting smells around,” he said, bringing you over to the large basin under a round mirror. “I minced peppermint and it should help with your breath,” he added, handing you a glass of water.

You did as he advised and took a gulp, rinsing your mouth eagerly before spitting the content onto the basin.

“So… are you going to tell me how the conversation with Ava went?”

Wiping your lips clean with a rag, you gave him a look.

“It could have gone worse, I suppose.”

“Charming,” he said. “Worse as in ‘I almost killed her’ or ‘She made me want to pluck my eyes out’?”

“All of the above, maybe,” you said with a roll of your eyes.

To be fair, after hearing her reasoning, she didn’t come across as that bad. But you couldn’t help but to still feel wary of her intentions in the long run.

Astarion was studying your face intensely as you emptied the glass of water to quench your thirst, the minty aftertaste doing wonders to your throat.

“Anything in particular I should know about?”

Besides her wanting to take my blood? Nothing at all, you thought grimly.

You merely shook your head.

“I’ll be waiting outside, then.”

Right.

Bath time.

You took a quick look in the mirror and nearly groaned out loud from the sight of your weary face.

Just as you were trying to strip the shirt you had on, you huffed in annoyance, which earned his attention before he slipped out of the washroom.

“You need help.”

You tried to pull the sleeve, but your body ached too much to comply. “I need help.”

Astarion slowly crossed the room again, and swiftly helped you out of your shirt.

You hissed as his cold knuckles brushed against your bare stomach. “Cold, cold…” you said, teeth jittering.

Being naked in front o fhim had long lost some of its inherent sexual meaning. It used to make you feel too exposed and only when the two of you were about to indulge in one another.

Now, it felt like something casual.

His stare didn’t linger on your breasts for too long or on your now hardening nipples.

“I apologise,” he said with a smile. “Let’s get you out of these next.”

Skilled fingers worked on the front of your trousers, undoing them slowly before carefully dropping on one knee and pulling them down along your thighs.

You had to look away to hide the rush of heat that had settled on your face.

Now that felt too intimate…

He tugged at your underwear next and shiveres began to prickle along your body.

You suddenly felt too exposed. 

Astarion had seen you this bare since you last slept together before reaching Moonrise Towers.

And this new predicament had your heart strumming hard in your chest.

You slipped out of your trousers and looked down to meet his crimson eyes. “What?”

“May I kiss you?”

You swallowed. Hard. “Where?”

He leaned in to press his cold lips to the dip of your hip, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away and rising to his full height again.

Gods…

“Do you need my help getting inside?” he asked and you could see it .

You could see the lust in his eyes.

You could hear the faint innuendo in his words.

And you could feel the familiar throb between your legs increasing.

“Yes…”

He promptly gripped your hand and you lifted each leg to dip into the nicely heated water, its surface covered in frothy suds. 

Slowly, you lowered yourself into a sitting position before leaning back.

Astarion placed a folded towel under your neck, so you could easily relax against the wooden tub as you sank below the waterline.  

“May I wash you?” he asked, settling himself on his knees behind you.

You immediately nodded, gripping the edges and trying your best to ignore the swell in between your folds.

It was almost embarrassing how easily he could turn you on with mostly his words and intonation. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you jolted briefly when you felt a soft sponge being dragged from your neck and down your breasts.

A sigh parted your lips and you arched your back instinctively, just enough to raise your nipples above the waterline as he grazed each of them in circular motions.

You instantly clenched around nothing, knowing fully well that it would have driven him insane had his cock been buried inside you.

A second moan was heard when he started planting soft kisses along your jaw while his hand kept on gliding the sponge down your abdomen.

“Does that feel good?” he whispered in between kisses.

Your legs parted as you welcomed his ministrations. 

With his other hand he gripped your jaw and applied enough pressure until the back of your head hit his chest, his thumb caressingly you lovingly.

A strained whimper erupted from you when the sponge reached your folds, deliciously caressing the growing swell in between.

Your hips rolled a few times to increase the friction and you begged the Gods above to have him use his fingers instead…

“Please… Astarion…”

He planted a lingering kiss on your lips, pressing the sponge against you so you could grind desperately on it.

“Does it feel good, darling?”

“Use your fingers… please…” you begged against his lips, squeezing your legs together to trap his hand as you gripped the edges of the tub for support.

He chuckled darkly, dropping the sponge and he had to cover your mouth with his other hand to muffle a loud moan as he slid one finger along your folds.

“Do you remember how many you could take?”

Your eyes rolled shut as lust clouded your senses, hips rolling at a faster pace.

All you remembered was struggling to fit his cock inside at first…

The pad of his finger teased your swell a few times before he moved to place it at your entrance.

“Answer me.”

You could cry from the despair alone as he refused to slide a single one inside.

“I - I… two? Astarion… please… ”

He chuckled teasingly in response, and you 

The door to the washroom burst open, causing him to detach from you at once.

Shadowheart.

You let out a yelp, sinking until you were neck-deep in water.

“Ever heard of knocking?” Astarion’s words were dripping with poison.

“Even heard of not greeting people with... that?”

From this position you were almost at eye-level with his lower half, giving you a privileged view of his rather generous bulge, strained against his own trousers.

You felt heat flare in your cheeks as you remembered just how easily he would drip precum for you.

She hurriedly crossed the room and threw a robe at you. “Dress up. Quickly .”

Lust quickly turned into panic from the way Shadowheart glared worriedly at you.

“What happened?”

“Gale is leaving,” she said. “We just received word from Waterdeep that his contact has been killed.”

TBC

#astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion x female reader #astarion x female tav #astarion x reader #astarion x f!tav #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x oc #astarion x f!reader

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Farmer's Daughter 15

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall

Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Walter sighs as he shuts the hood of the truck. He tuts and faces you, keeping his hand on the metal, his other going to his hip. He looks at you then the sky behind you. The rain has stirred the scent of mud and grass and left a glaze over everything. 

“You’re lucky the thing didn’t blow up in your face,” he says. “Maybe the rain saved you.” 

“Oh, I... didn’t know,” you utter nervously. “Timothy said it was fine--” 

“Yeah, well, shows how much he knows,” Walter stands straight and pushes back his curls, “he’s not ready. He’s too young. I’ll make sure he learns. Be sad if he through away all your dad’s hard work, huh?” 

“Y-yeah, I guess,” you swallow. His words remind you of the imbalance. You need him. That’s the reality that brought you all the way up here. 

“Right, well, I’ll deal with it later. I got some chains I can use to get it up to the house but we should head into town then go see your mother. Make sure she isn’t worried sick,” he steps towards you and brings his hand up under your chin. You fight not to shy away, “what were you thinking? Putting yourself in danger like that?” 

“I... I had to come see you--” 

He smiles, “that’s sweet but I’d rather you wait and have you in one piece, sweetheart.” 

You nod into his hand and wince as he leans in. His thumb rubs your chin as he tilts your head up and he presses his lips to yours. Your surprised by his gentleness, though his beard grazes your roughly. You let him kiss you as he swoops an arm around to wrap you up. 

When he parts, your breathless and dizzy. His eyes gleam down at you, “wife,” he rasps out, “we’re almost there.” 

The shift in his mood puts you off. It’s just like back in the kitchen, one moment he’s terse and short, almost disappointed, the next he’s almost delicate and content. He releases you and takes you by the hand. You follow him back up towards the house. 

You wait outside as he runs in to get his keys. As he comes back out, you open the door of the truck and brace the interior. You put your foot on the small metal step to pull yourself up and gasp as you’re lifted from behind. Walter helps you into the seat and you wriggle free with a meek ‘thank you’. 

He kisses your cheek before he shuts the door. You focus on buckling the belt as he rounds the front of the truck. He climbs into the driver’s side and turns the engine. He sets off, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the corner of your seat. 

You sit quietly, watching the hills roll by. This is it. This is your life. You’re going to married and a wife and you’re going to be tied to this man and these lands forever. You never really thought it out, you just expected life to unfold before you. 

He pulls up to the bank and turns into the lot. He steers into one of the angled spots and kills the engine. You tap your fingers on your legs before you regain your bearings. As he opens his door, you do the same. You get out, hopping down with a small oof. You catch yourself on the door. 

Walt stomps around, “hey, hey, careful. Don’t hurt yourself.” 

“I’m fine,” you smile, “really, I can manage.” 

“I just don’t want you twisting your ankle,” he says. 

“Um, okay, all good,” you show him your foot, “really.” 

He stares at you. His cheek ticks. He takes your hand and shuts the passenger door. He tugs you away towards the front of the building. As you follow the sidewalk down to the entrance, you pass a few other curious pedestrians. You don’t miss there gazes and the low whispers between them. 

You go inside and find the bank empty. Walter drags you to the counter and taps the bell on it. You stand on your toes to see over the high desk and see a head pop out of a back office. The woman looks unimpressed as she goes to bang on the door next to hers, “customers.” 

She quickly retreats as you wait. The next door opens and another woman emerges. She’s taller than the other one, slimmer too. She struts over as she tugs straight the collar of her blouse. Her pretty pink lipstick clings to one lip as the other is faded to its natural hue. 

“Hello, folks, how can I help you today.” 

“I’d like to speak with an advisor about a mortgage,” Walter says as he lets go of your hand, instead hovering his large one along your lower back. 

“That’s exciting,” she chimes, “you and... I didn’t know you married?” 

“Not yet,” Walter exhales, “anyway, do you got someone available? I don’t really have time to sit around.” 

“Sure, sure, Pete should be able to help you out. I’ll just take you to an office.” 

The woman, Marska, comes around the desk and waves you down the hall. She takes you into an office and leaves you there. You and Walter lower yourself into the stiff chairs. He reaches between to offer his hand. You take it and nervously stare at the empty desk. 

There’s a tap on the doorframe and a man enters. Pete. You’ve seen him before when you came to the bank with your mother. 

“Morning,” he says as he swaggers around to sit behind the desk, “lovely to see you folks bright and early.” He offers his hand across the desk and Walter reluctantly lets go of yours to shake it. Pete looks at you and you hesitantly shake his hand. The man beside you shifts and huffs. “So, we’re looking into a mortgage, huh?” 

The manager smiles as he leans back nonchalantly in his chair. He looks between you and Walter, “gone and snagged yourself a young one, huh, Marshall?” 

Walter growls and crosses his arms, “I have a down payment.” 

“Uh, yeah, of course,” Pete rolls his chair closer to the desk, “just making some small chat. Big news, the two of you.” 

“Is it?” Walter challenges. 

“Marriage is a big deal, isn’t it?” Peter chuckles nervously. 

“You would know,” Walter sneers as he sniffs, “you got something on your cheek.” 

You only notice at the mention of it. Your eyes retreat from the window to Pete’s face, the smear of pink along his cheek. You look away, embarrassed for him. It must be true what they say about him and Marska. 

“Uh, thanks,” Pete wipes his face with his sleeve, “let’s just jump in then.” He puts his hands over the keyboard and clears his throat. You can see a trickle of sweat along his hairline as Walter’s disapproval burns through the small office.  

#walter marshall #dark walter marshall #dark!walter marshall #walter marshall x reader #drabble #au #backwoods #series #the farmer's daughter #night hunter

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

With No One Around

When you and Aemond need to relax, you have a secret spot where you can go and be all alone.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Wife!Reader (2nd person)

Warnings: kissing, deep throating, Aemond has a spite-fueled breeding kink

This work is a part of my 12 Days of Smuff event! Read the rest here.

My Masterlist

With No One Around

Prompt: In Nature & Deep Throating

Vhagar sensed your intentions the moment you and Aemond climbed down from her saddle, giving you an annoyed, rumbling growl before she lumbered as far away as she could while still being close enough to guard you. You mumbled teasing words at her, but you couldn’t help but love the curmudgeonly old dragon. And be very thankful that she only understood High Valyrian.

Aemond huffed, grabbing your hand and practically dragging you through the trees. You cursed his long legs and scrambled to keep up with him so he wouldn’t pull your arm clean off. “In quite a hurry, are you?”

He only gave a frustrated hum. It was answer enough.

That day had been hard. On both of you.

It was the first day of the Festival of the Mother, and as it always did on holidays, everything went wrong.

The king was too ill to attend. Aegon was hung over. Helaena was in one of her distant moods, which did nothing to help calm the hysterical twins. It was supposed to be their first public event since the announcement of their birth, a way to show the world that their line was strong, secure, and, most importantly, true. Yet the future heir spent the morning biting everyone and everything he could find while his sister wailed ceaselessly.

In the end, Helaena and the twins stayed in their rooms, leaving only Queen Alicent, Aegon, Aemond, and you to attend. Not exactly the best showing for a day dedicated to the mother.

Especially not when you and Aemond had been wed nearly two years with no children to show for it – though not for lack of valiant effort – and all the nobility seemed able to talk about was the child Rhaenyra would give birth to in mere weeks.

That was what set Aemond on edge. He would not be able to dismiss this child as a threat to his family. For unlike its elder half-brothers, it would not be a bastard. It would be a true continuation of Rhaenyra’s line – a full-blooded Valyrian. And a boon of legitimacy to her bid for the throne.

You were not sure exactly why, but Aemond believed that if Rhaenyra took the throne, she would immediately move to slaughter her half-siblings and their families. The one time you asked him why, he refused to explain. You would have pushed further, but his lip had twitched toward his scar, and you knew what that meant – it was one of the first things you’d learned about him.

Whatever the cause, he had pulled you away after the ceremony in such a hurry that he didn’t even call for a wheelhouse to take you to Vhagar. He’d just lifted you atop the first saddled horse he found, swinging up behind you and sending the beast racing through the city.

Which is how you ended up here – being pulled along by Aemond as he brought you to his special place. A small outcropping on Blackwater Bay, just outside the Kingswood. It had ample enough space for Vhagar to rest and was completely private.

It was where Aemond would come whenever he got overwhelmed, whether by the pain from his eye, exhaustion after being forced to appear in public and be sociable, or just the stress and frustration of his everyday life. He used it for the same reasons still, but he now had a better way to calm himself rather than mope by the cliff’s edge.

Now, he had you.

And you were never going to complain about his using you for stress relief.

Aemond brought you just outside the tree line, then whirled on you, gripping you tightly as he pulled you into a searing kiss. “I swear by all the gods,” he moaned as you opened to him, “we will not return home until there is a babe in your belly.”

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before again diving into you and moving one hand down to cup your rear. You moaned as he pulled you against him, rolling his hips to show you just how eager he was.

“We may be here a while then,” you managed to eke out between kisses. You weren’t sure why he was delaying; he was more than hard enough, and you hoped your own movements against him would show him you were ready as well. “What will we eat?”

He growled. This was not the conversation he wanted to have. He’d always preferred no conversation when you were intimate, but you couldn’t help yourself. “Vhagar will cook us some venison.”

You laughed at the answer but were quickly cut off when he moved his hands to your shoulders to push you down on the soft grass. Aemond was in quite the mood, and you weren’t sure you liked it.

So, you decided to tease him. After all, he deserved it.

You let him push you to your knees but resisted his attempts to push you down further. He tried, but you were stronger than you appeared, especially when you were this annoyed with him.

“What are you doing – ” you cut him off this time, reaching up to grab his thighs and squeeze.

With a saccharine smile, you brought your hands to the ties of his trousers and began to unlace them, one by one. “I’m just helping you relax. If you put a baby in me now, I fear it will be born angry.”

Aemond growled softly, in warning to not delay too long, and begrudging permission.

You made quick work of his trousers, pulling them down only enough to retrieve his hardened cock, pumping it a few times to spread the moisture that had gathered at his tip before taking him into your mouth. Slowly, at first, because he wouldn’t relax if he got what he wanted immediately, but enough that he would not want to stop you to stick himself somewhere else.

You continued like this for a few moments, until Aemond got impatient and laced his fingers through your hair, moving you ever so slightly toward him.

The message was clear: more.

You happily obliged, bracing yourself with your hands on his rear, and took him further, and further, and further. And when your nose finally pressed into his stomach, you paused, hollowing your cheeks. You drew back just before you ran out of breath, running your tongue up the length of him before taking him all the way once more.

Aemond’s hands tightened in your hair as you repeated the action once, twice, three times. On the fourth, he gripped so tightly you were sure he’d tear half your hair out. On the fifth, he shouted a curse as he came, spilling down your throat and moaning as you sucked every last drop from him. When you pulled away, you left one last kiss on his tip.’

It took a while for him to catch his breath. He gazed at you adoringly the whole time. You waited until he was entirely calm before you teased him once more.

“Enjoyable as that was, I fear it will not produce a babe.”

Aemond’s smile fell into a frown of shame and affectionate annoyance, and you laughed.

#aemond #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond fanfic #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond imagine #aemond fluff #aemond one eye #aemond smut #aemond the kinslayer #aemond x reader #aemond x you #aemond x y/n #aemond x fem!reader #hotd #hotd aemond #hotd fanfic #hotd smut #hotd imagine #hotd x reafer #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfic #ewan mitchell #12 days of smuff

[getyourdirtyhandsoffme]

Title: "Smoking hot" (18+)

Sanji x ftm reader

Warning: mentions of smoking, a bit (?) toxic idk, mentions the word 'boy cunt' or 'boy pussy', porn with plot, Sanji relieving his sex drive, feminine terms, mentions of 'boy tits' pre-surger. Nipple sucking. The chances of gender dysphoria are quite high, didn't proof read nor use a grammar site to fix this, straight (?) Sanji using your body with consent.

Author: y'all, I'm bored and I just wanted to make a Sanji x FTM reader. I'm a Sanji simp, sadly. Idk wtf I made, I called it a day.

Like, comment, or/and reblog! Thank you!

You joined the Strawhats when Luffy crashed into your house and just demanded you to come after learning about your skills, baking and swift skills with weapons.

You were always quick in your feet when it comes to making desserts along with matching your skill sets with the main cook, Sanji.

You loved Sanji but he wouldn't love you.

He loves women, girls, every kind of lady he will nose bleed without any hesitation.

You, a man, well a transgender man in fact, don't see yourself as a woman and would rather have him treat you like any other man then fawn over you like he does with Nami and Robin, both girls.

You didn't really come out yet, nor are you ready anyways.

You knew they wouldn't judge at all, most definitely Luffy. He would mostly be curious but as long as you are cool and strong then he won't care.

You just weren't ready so you kept it a secret for a while until a doctor, Chopper found out later on when you were injured.

He scolded you a bit for tightening your chest too tight until you gave him your reason.

He understands, of course, he is a doctor, he knows these types of things.

He thought of a different solution and something more healthier but it would be hard to find that type of material, he is willing to help and keep your secret.

Months gone by—fights, parties, adventures, etc.

You finally got the material Chopper promised, a binder. It was comfortable and makes your chest look like a man's chest. The only rule is you only have to wear it for 8 hours, you can't sleep in it.

Which is another challenge since you sleep in the boys deck.

So Chopper thought to just have you sleep in the doctor's quarters.

Some of the boys along with the girls question, except Chopper, however they just choose to ignore it thinking it's probably hard to sleep in the men's room.

Nami found that understandable as she would've done the same thing.

Sanji fawned over her just thinking of the girls sleeping in the same section as the men—he got punched by Nami.

It continues on, your secret still kept in along with Chopper checking up on you.

You really need to tell them someday, just not sure how or when.

Until now.

It was your turn for the night, Sanji was up making you food for the night while you were getting ready to take a shower.

You didn't think too much of it so you just chose not to lock the door...a bad idea.

Sanji, the man he is, walks in without even knocking as he thought it was a good idea to just dump the food on top of the sink carefully since you were both 'men'.

Sanji looks at you in shock, trying not to nose bleed by your feminine figure as you try not to cry out of embarrassment.

Of course, Sanji being the gentleman he is, apologized as he takes the food and runs out of the bathroom closing the door behind him.

It was never mentioned again after that.

It was awkward.

You couldn't look at Sanji straight nor Sanji as well.

He tried to treat you like he treats other men in the ship but it was hard for him, kinda.

Of course, he knows you see yourself as a man but your body, your chest, those woman parts. He couldn't. So he just chooses to just insult you then hitting you to balance it out.

It continued on until another situation happened again.

Luffy stops at an island so it was only you and the cook watching over the ship.

Sanji did complain how he would rather be with the ladies to protect them but got pushed down by Nami saying we need someone strong to watch over the ship which swooned him again.

Nami did mention you as well but you weren't that offended, honestly you knew you were not that strong as those monster trio so you just shrugged off.

You thought things would be normal.

You thought.

You moaned as a high sex drive Sanji slammed into you with hard thrust making both of your legs wobble. Your clit was going through the hard thrust as you smell the smoke hitting the air.

"Fuck, I needed this so much. Your boy pussy is pleasing my dick so well..."

His voice, deep and raspy making you shiver as he continues on fucking you. His hands reach through your jiggling chest from the harsh thrust, grabbing and squishing it.

"Fuck, even you boy tits are moving is so sexy. What a fuckin pretty boy, I'll miss these..." He takes off his cigarette and places it on top of your lips, indicating you to hold it.

You took the cigarette from his fingers with your mouth as you watched Sanji lean into your chest and started sucking hard onto your hard nipples, making you moan, tasting the ash into your mouth.

You reach the cigarette from your mouth, taking it out as you continue on moaning.

He stops sucking your nipples as he stares at you.

"You're going to be my personal sex toy, this boy cunt belongs to me, you got that?"

You just nodded as he took out his dick as the semen spurted into your thighs. Your clit clenching into nothing as you whimpered from the emptiness.

"Look at that...your boy pussy really wants another round, aye?" His fingers touch your puffed clit, feeling the wetness from his fingers.

"let's go again, after this other smoke. I still feel horny, you think you can take all of that away, baby boy? All of these women couldn't get a chance with me but you, a man with feminine body parts, you are perfect..." He lines his dick again into your puffy cunt as he slams again making you moan louder.

"I wonder if this makes me gay....whatever."

I got like thousands of drafts (16+ drafts) ummm y'all ill lock in UHHHH...

#ftm reader #male reader #x ftm reader #x male reader #sanji x male reader #sanji x reader #one piece x male reader #one piece x reader #x bottom male reader #x bottom reader #mr.off #mr.offstory #vinsmoke sanji #one piece scenario

[bumblesimagines]

how do you like your eggs?

i'll make us breakfast.

Love Quinn

i'll make us breakfast.

how do you like your eggs?

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

There were always unspoken rules in the workplace that everyone tended to follow. Be kind to customers even if they walk in with only 2 minutes left to spare before closing time; Don't trust your coworkers wholeheartedly even if you speak to them on a near day-to-day basis; The customer is nearly never right but pretend they are unless you want to be written up; Don't fuck your boss even if she's got the prettiest hazel eyes ever seen on a woman and the charm of a Disney princess. 

The rules had been relatively easy to follow at Anavrin the first few weeks. Most of the bitchiest customers (Y/N) dealt with were easily managed by stroking their egos and making them feel completely in the right, even if they demanded to be given a milkshake without any actual milk despite milkshakes not being on the menu to begin with. Anavrin attracted the most annoying types of Los Angeles locals and worse tourists. But the paycheck and exchanging gossip in the break room with Calvin made things worthwhile. 

Until the Quinns returned from some time away with their family and he became a dot on Love Quinn's radar. And boy, was she hard to escape once her sights set on someone.

It started innocent enough. She joked and teased and bantered. She batted her eyelashes and gave that signature Love Quinn smile where she showed off all her pearly whites and her eyes crinkled with pure joy. Her fingers would brush against his, subtle enough to be seen as accidental until it happened far too often. She'd place her hand on his shoulder and press close against his arm to show him something, even going as far as to lean her head against him and gaze up at him through her lashes sometimes. And Christ, some divine being had certainly blessed her with the best of luck because she seemingly appeared out of thin air wherever he went. Or maybe he was just predictable, he wasn't fully sure.

Then came the time when Love wanted to figure out his 'perfect bite.' The perfect meal that would consistently taste heavenly no matter how many times one ate it. (Y/N) had begrudgingly gone along after some begging and heartstring-tugging puppy eyes but he would've been lying if part of him hadn't been curious about Love and how far she'd go with her not-so-subtle flirting. As he ended up learning, his curiosity and her flirting would lead them back to her place where they'd share a glass of wine and spend a long night in her bed.

He stared up at the tall ceiling and felt the sunshine pouring in from the equally tall windows. Everything about Love's home felt big and fancy. From her king-sized bed to the fact she had a walk-in closet and a bathroom the size of a bedroom. With her down-to-earth sweet personality, it was easy to forget her parents were wealthy business owners. He couldn't help but wonder how things would be at the store with the strictly platonic boss-employee relationship shattered into pieces. (Y/N) doubted she'd fire him or make his life worse now that she got what she wanted. Maybe she'd move on to someone else and things would settle back to normalcy.

"Morning, sunshine." She called out from the bathroom doorway and he craned his neck to look at her properly. His eyes immediately fell on the familiar shirt she wore, the only thing she wore, and he raised a brow. Her smile turned cheeky and she pushed herself away from the door, closing the distance and climbing into bed as he sat up against the headboard. Love settled down nicely on his lap and placed her hands on his cheeks before closing that distance as well and kissing him. She tasted of mint and mouthwash. 

"Didn't mean to sleep in." He spoke against her lips, feeling and hearing her chuckle. 

"It's okay, (Y/N). I would've let you sleep in until four if you wanted to." Love cooed warmly and pecked the tip of his nose. Everything felt rather... domestic for a simple one-night stand. "Now that you're up, I'll make us breakfast. How do you like your eggs? Boiled? Fried? Omelet? Scrambled? Or do you want, like, pancakes?" 

"How about... I use the bathroom and we figure that out in the kitchen?" He offered and she smiled again, nodding so eagerly her bun nearly came loose. 

"And then.... maybe we could talk about us?" She asked softly and tilted her head, her sweet hazel eyes making it hard to say anything but yes.

"Definitely."

#x reader #x you #x y/n #x male reader #x male!reader #you x reader #you x male reader #you netflix #you netflix x reader #you netflix x male reader #love quinn #love quinn x reader #love quinn x male reader #love quinn x you #love quinn x y/n

[ponyosmom35]

you and I

simon ghost riley x reader

Liability chapter twenty two

synopsis: after the betrayal, simon is scrambling to make things right. trying to push reader away for her own safety, but she's too stubborn to agree.

read the previous part first!

Liability masterlist:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

She paced back and forth, waiting for him to return. Her mind was in shambles. Never had she actually expected someone as wonderful as him to want her. She was in awe of their kiss. Unlike anything she’d ever felt before. The passion, the longing. She’d do anything to kiss him again, to never let him go. She wanted to show him how much she fucking loved him. She sits on her cot, braiding her freshly washed hair mindlessly to pass the time. Her body ached, begging for sleep, but her mind refused to let her close her eyes. She knew that Simon had responsibilities, but right now he was the only one who could comfort her. She needed him to tell her it was gonna be okay. 

It wasn’t for nearly another hour when Simon finally walked into the room. She instantly stands and moves over to him, wrapping her arms around his middle, burying her face in his best. He holds her and rubs her back. He takes his mask off and throws it to the side. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah” she nods

“So whats the word? What do we do now?”

“You’re going home” 

“You’re coming with me right?” 

“No”

“Hassan?” she asks 

“we've gotten intel on Hassan, we learned he's planning to take things nuclear. got a set up in Chicago, we're flying out in the morning” 

“Okay” she nods 

He looks down, refusing to meet her gaze “I've debriefed with Laswell and we're transporting you back to base in the UK immediately. From there you’ll take the first flight back to the states where you’ll be personally escorted home. Pack up we've got 20 minutes till your transportation arrives”

“And what about you?” she asks 

“I'll be joining the rest of the team for Chicago in the morning. just need to tie up a few... loose ends here”

“When will you be back?”

“it's up in the air at the moment, we'll try and get him fast but we can't be sure. could be a day, could be a week... or longer” 

“I should come with you then -”

Simon’s jaw tenses as he steps closer to her “its not safe for you, I’m trying to keep you out of harms way”

“I don’t wanna leave you, what if you get hurt -”

“This is for the best” he says coldly, she stares up at him and takes a step back, recognizing the cold tone. “This isn’t going to work out… between us”

“Why?” she asks as her heart stops, tears instantly fill her eyes “why would you say that to me?”

“I just... can't put you in danger like this anymore. I need to put the team first, we just got too invested and its a mess now. I'm sorry. I need to break things off before it gets too deep”

“If you’re saying this because of what happened, it was nothing! I’m fine! Don’t push me away again” she asks 

“I knew this would happen and I was too fucking stubborn to stop it! I tried so hard to keep you away, I destroyed us both for nothing. this is my life the people who get close to me die! I never should've let you in” he shakes his head, turning his back as he runs his hands through his messy hair. This was hurting him just as much as her, but he knew it was better this way. 

“Simon don't say that, I'm here, we're here! I'm gonna go back to base and you're gonna deal with Hassan and I'll still be here when you come back!”

“not this time love... this is it. I'm not letting you risk your safety again after what happened back there. this time. you're better off without me.”

“no I'm not! every second we're apart I feel like I can't breathe! I understand why you think we're a bad idea, but it's not a crime to let yourself be happy! what happened here with Graves was not your fault, you saved my life, you brought me home! you're a fucking hero Simon!” she pauses and take his hands 

“don't push me away again, you’re the only thing that makes sense to me” she admits 

“You have no idea how hard this is. You're everything I've ever wanted. How can I possibly face you again after this? how can I let you near me? the darkness in me will take us both”

“I won’t let that happen”

“you've seen my face! you know my name! now that we're associated you'll be used against me!”

“if that's the price I have to pay for you then so be it! I don't care!”

“But I do! I can’t fucking let you get hurt again don’t you understand?”

“If association is what you're worried about then I quit, I won't work on base anymore! Just tell me what you want from me and I’ll do it!”

“I don't know! I don't know anymore! everything's such a god damn mess and I'm sick of losing the people I love, okay?!” tears well up in his eyes as he finally breaks. 

“I know, but you’re not gonna lose me Si” she says gently as she walks over to him on the bed and pulls him into her. He leans his head on her chest as she wraps her arms around his shoulder. He holds her tightly as she runs a hand through his hair. 

“I'm sorry, I just can't let you go through this any-”

“I don't care! I want it all, give me the pain if you're my reward”

“Why can’t you ever make things easy for me?”

“Not in my nature”

He kisses the top of her head and caresses her cheek with one hand. his lips are soft and teasing as he pulls her in closer for a deep and intense kiss. he holds her tightly, not breaking the kiss until they’re both short of breath. 

“You win” he says “anything you want, I’ll do it love” 

“All I want is you”

Tag list:@vivi123abc

#simon riley #smut #cod mw2 #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #mw2 #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x you #angst #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost simon riley #ghost angst #simon riley angst #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley fluff #simon ghost smut #simon ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #ghost #ghost fluff #simon riley x you #cod mw3 #cod modern warfare #cod mwii #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #141 #task force 141

[mypoisonedvine]

buhhh jd you had me THINKING with that prince paul drabble. would love to see more of him being stern with reader, like, maybe she makes a little joke at his expense in front catherine (which catherine thinks is so funny) while they're at dinner and just has to set her straight. something about a warning looks or words and knowing what's coming later is -- truly doing something for me.

ugh yes I relate I want him to wreck me

warnings: smut (18+ only), oral m receiving, choking, dom/sub dynamics, degradation

"You found that amusing, did you?" Paul growled in your ear, tightening his grip on your arms until you whimpered slightly. "Need I remind you how insubordination is dealt with in this regime?"

You had to hide your small smile from him, worried that if he knew you'd wanted him to punish you for your comment all along, that he might not.

You'd been waiting for it since you said it-- since he gave you that icy stare, hiding it with a half-smile as he pretended to take the joke well. But just the way he'd met your gaze from across the table, his fist clenching around his salad fork for a second, made your thighs clench together in anticipation. You wanted that hand tightening around your throat, those smirking lips against your ear as he warned you that he didn't have the patience to be gentle.

And, for the most part, it worked-- you were in his bedchambers now, bracing for your punishment. The only thing was, just when you expected him to bend you over his bed, he turned you around and pushed you onto your knees.

You looked up at him expectantly as he worked to get his trousers out of the way-- why did fancy royal clothes have to be so complicated?-- and pull out his cock for you. It wasn't fully hard yet, but considering it was in your mouth a second later, it didn't take too long before he was erect and throbbing against your lips; Paul moaned, tangling his fingers into your hair as he guided your movements. "I like this mouth better when it's pleasing me, instead of insulting me," Paul cooed at you as he pet your swollen bottom lip with his thumb. "This is what these pretty lips ought to be doing-- getting stretched out around your prince's cock, yes?"

You hummed and nodded in agreement, though you whined when he yanked your head back by your hair, gripping his cock tightly as he stared down at you.

"I'd like to hear you say it," he demanded.

"M-my lips should be pleasing you, my liege, serving your cock-- not insulting you," you promised.

"And this throat," he continued, making you swallow nervously as he ran his fingers over your neck. "You always come the hardest when I choke you with my hands, but there are other ways. Why don't you show me how good of a whore you can be, and choke for me?"

Choke you did; he only gave you breaks when you absolutely needed them, smirking down at you when you gasped and spluttered, and then got right back to fucking your throat recklessly. You tolerated the discomfort because, for one, it turned you on for some unknowable reason, being used like this; and two, the way he loudly moaned and bit his lip as he slid his cock deeper in your mouth was simply too addictive to stop.

Only when his come was spilling from your abused lips did he seem satisfied, sweetly asking you if you'd learned your lesson as he watched you try to swallow down all the seed he'd given you. First, you thanked him for his come-- something you never forgot to do after that one punishment that left you limping for a week-- and then you agreed that, yes, you'd learned your lesson not to embarrass him especially in front of his mother.

"All right," he nodded, "now get on the bed."

You raised your eyebrows. "My prince, but--"

"That was just to teach you your place, whore," he explained with a frown. "Now I'll have my real fun with you."

#prince paul x reader #paul tsarevich x reader #prince paul smut #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn smut

[cupcakeslushie]

Were there any experiments that could have risked Three's life?

There were, but Draxum knew what he was doing for the most part. Most of the testing started out monotonous and endurance based. It was only as Three grew older, and Draxum grew more desperate to gain headway on his research that he pushed the experiments past what Three could handle physically and mentally.

The vivisection was the worst, because of the pain, and because Three didn’t follow Draxum’s aftercare instructions and a whole plastral scute had to be replaced when infection set in. It’s probably the most rebellious thing Three had ever done but the consequences were bad enough that he learned his lesson.

Draxum is a lot worse than in canon so there’s not a lot of happy memories…but I think I’m gonna slightly edit something I’ve said earlier, which is that Draxum doesn’t validate Three’s intelligence at all. The more I think on it, the more I think that would be about the only thing he finds Three useful for, after he finds him lacking in the “warrior” aspect. For as much of a disappointment in the physical department Three can be (which doesn’t mean Donnie is weak—just that Draxxy is hard to please), Draxum will admit that the boy is a genius. It’s just the way that Three’s smart which Draxum can’t stand. Three uses too much scavenged, human material in his tech, and while Draxum grudgingly allows it, he refuses to give it any praise. It frustrates him to no end that Three seems to reject studying mystic sciences.

It still doesn’t stop Three from seeking out Draxum’s input, and constantly being disappointed when his tech gets verbally (and sometimes literally) ripped to shreds. Pretty much the only area where Three gets any actual, validation from Draxum, are the bombs and munitions Three makes to supply Draxum’s resistance budies. Everything else is just him not living up to his full potential and wasting his time.

This is just gonna be the nature of this AU, but I’m really leaning hard into the villain aspect of these three. I’m hoping to still give them nuance, But I’m going all in, where each of them is pretty deplorable in their unique own way.

Big Mama was very doting on Mikey, but I think it was more along the lines of her viewing it as being amused by a new pet. I mean she full on dated and had a relationship with Splinter for who knows how long, and had no problem throwing him to the wolves, and I loved that about her. In my AU she’s whatever she needs to be to get what she wants, dialed up to eleven. She has zero problems putting on that mother of year mask for Mikey, because he was cute and entertaining, but the moment she realized she could make a pretty penny off of him by discarding him, she does. So what if she keeps the paintings Mikey made her, up in her private office, nobody has to know.

Draxum is relentless in his mission, and Three is the best tool he currently has to see those ends met. He doesn’t care how much strain it seems to put on the boy—he should be able to handle it. Draxum does not make creations that break so easily.

Shredder does show pride in Leo’s prowess as a fighter, and even though his praise is hard to earn, he does let his student know when he’s done a good job. On the flip side, he’s got no problems punishing Leo for his failures. Shredder is very clear in his expectations for Leo, unlike Draxum who never seems to be pleased by anything. In Shredder’s mind, Leo is his perfect weapon.

Draxum had seen Mikey fight in the battle nexus so he knew about him and just didn’t have the means to take on Big Mama, but when he finally meets Raph and Leo, he’s so frustrated that they’ve aligned with humans and refuse to listen to reason. Despite trying to get them on his side they want nothing to do with him, and what’s worse they’ve poisoned Three against him. He’s already poured so much time and resources into Three and look how that turned out. If they won’t join him, he’ll either find some way to turn them against the humans or he’ll destroy them. They’ve caused him enough of a headache.

I’m still on the fence about Shredder’s entire backstory. I know he’ll have been raised by the Hamato Clan but I’ve never been a fan of the whole love triangle—you stole the woman I loved and I’m gonna refer to her as an object—thing. I think him turning to more violent methods and then learning his true origins is enough of a wedge to drive between him and the man he thought of as a brother. Which leads me to Karai.

I’m not using 2012 Karai cause it would be kinda redundant with Leo’s role. So I think I’m gonna use gram-gram Karai…I just need to figure out…how. I’ve got some ideas, it’s just working out the details of, okay I changed Shredder so he can’t be her father, do I want her to still be dead? Be a guiding spirit for Leo? Do I want her to be brought back to life? Or maybe it would be cool to expand on her connection with April—cause the show gave us this awesome idea maybe I could explore that more? Idk. I just know I do want her to have a bigger role. I’ve got some time tho to think on it.

As for Bradford and Xever they might make a short appearance down the road, but as of now I’ve got solid plans for certain characters and I don’t wanna throw too many shrimp in the pot, ya know? If I can think of some role for them to fill, then they’ll get some actual time but for now they’re relegated to Easter egg status like Bebop and Rocksteady lol.

@burnttoastarista

#ask slushie #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #separated au #rottmnt separated au #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise leo #rise donnie #rise mikey #rise raph #rise big mama #rise draxum #shredder #rise karai #leonardo hamato #donatello hamato #michelangelo hamato #raphael hamato #sep!au infodump

[mythicalmyles]

masky? breeding, bondage, masochism kinks

Prison au

(Name) let out a laugh, leaning against one of the prisoners cells. He was always kind, usually getting close to some. He wouldn’t deny some of it was selfish, he figured if he showed everyone kindness he could be spared in a possible riot. He couldn’t deny it was his biggest fear as a guard, he wasn’t that big. Most of the inmates dwarfed him.

He preferred to learn about people and he knew a few could be jailed for simple mistakes. Sometimes desperation can drive people insane, he could get it having grown up ass broke. He never let his guard down, he may have empathy but he wasn’t stupid. There were murders who did it for fun, not that he really had to interact much. He couldn’t deny he was glad for it though.

He let out a sigh as his eyes flicked to the clock. “Have fun, boss.” The inmate laughed, waving him off. “Oh I’m sure i will.” He called back. He quickly made his way up the stairs and lightly jogged over to the double doors that led to the D block. Luckily he was just in the med bay today, didn’t mean something couldn’t kick off but it was rarer than checking in on some of them.

He flopped into a chair at a desk opposite of the nurse, her tired old eyes flicking to him. She forced a small exhausted smile, (Name) felt bad for her. She had to deal with some at their absolute worst, she wasn’t really mean but she was very strict. She had childrens at home and was usually tired by the time her shift started. It was why some of the guards had decided to accommodate her. They’d drop in and look after things while she slept for a while, they all had basic training and the prison couldn’t afford another employee. (Name) had gotten the job purely because he’d timed his application right and they had been desperate for another guard.

(Name) was sure the prison was held together with rubber bands at this point, most of the time it was freezing and the lights went out so often everyone had stopped complaining. (Name) leaned back in his chair, watching Arina stand and head through the back to sleep.

It wasnt long after two guards came in with a beaten prisoner, his blue eyes were set in a cold hard glare aimed at the floor. His eyebrows were furrowed and the corner of his lips were turned down. (Name) couldn’t find an ounce of humanity in the man, he looked a ball hair away from snapping someones neck. Luckily he was handcuffed and he was not so gracefully pushed onto the bed by two guards who left without a word. (Name) rolled his eyes, turning to the prisoner

“What happened?” He questioned pulling out a book. “Why’s a guard playing nurse? Then again, looking at you i doubt you’re good for much else.” The smugness in his voice made (Names) eye twitch. He cleared his voice and repeated himself, not letting the prisoner get to him too much.

“I got jumped by some other inmates.” He shrugged, throwing himself over the bed to lie down. (Names) chest twinged, he hated when people ganged up on one. “Im sorry.” (Name) spoke, he didn’t catch Tims eyes shooting to him as he began cleaning up his arm cuts. (Name) wasnt too surprised when he didnt react to the antiseptic spray he used, not a lot of inmates did.

Luckily it was scratches, he was lucky his attackers didn’t have shivs. (Name) didnt doubt he’d have some bruises soon too, he had patches of red swollen skin. “What’s your name?” (Name) questioned, putting bandages on the few deep scratch wounds be had ended up with. “Tim.” (Name) nodded, quickly patching the inmate up and moving to fill out some paperwork.

When (Name) finally found the paperwork after what felt like five minutes of searching. He victoriously softly whispered an ‘Aha!’ As he threw his arms up, before he’d had a thought his wrists were gripped and he was shoved onto the desk and cuffed.

Tim gripped (Names) hips, yanking hum back into his chest before spinning him around. Time couldn’t deny he relished in the shock on the cops face. “You really reallly shouldn’t turn your back on a murderer.” Tim laughed, stopping when (Name) barley even flinched. (Name) thought for a few moments, he knew the guy was murderer now but what kind was all he could think about. He wondered if it was self defence or cold blooded, it could be either and he could just be desperate for escape. A hand gripping his jaw pulled him from his thoughts. Tims eyebrows were furrowed, he wasn’t getting a kick from this. It wasn’t fun if they weren’t pissing their pants in fear. He tilted his head at (Name), Tim licked his lips when he saw (Names) pupils dilate.

Tim smirked as he unbuttoned the guards shirt, grinning at the fact (Name) didn’t have an under shirt on. Not that he could blame him with how hot it was. (Name) barley moved a muscle, eyes watching Tim unbutton him. Tim flattened his hand against (Names) chest, dragging against his nipples as Tims hands moved down his body. (Name) moaned and pushed into Tims hands. “Whore.” Tim laughed as (Name) glared at him. Just as (Name) was going to shoot back Tim grabbed his cock, (Name) jolted back in shock.

Tim didn’t stop there, he ground his hand onto (Names) cock causing him to let out deeper breaths. Tim didn’t play with him long, he quickly ripped down (Names) pants after undoing his fly. Tim yanked (Name) forward by the hips, turning him around again and this time bending him over the desk. Tim left him as he walked straight to a cupboard by the sink, where they always kept the lube for rectal examinations.

Tim quickly made his way back and lubed up his fingers, he wasted no time in pushing two of his digits into the guards hole. “So whats your name?” Tim questioned as he quickly fucked his digits into (Names) ass, (Name) was quick to moan and apparently too slow to answer as Tim’s hand soon made sharp contact with his ass. (Name) let out a choked moan and arched his back, Tim couldn’t resist and landed another two smacks.

(Name) choked his name out inbetween moans, his teeth biting hard on his lip. He’d kick himself if he woke up Arina. (Name) had to choke back hard when Tim added a third finger, his hole burned slightly but he relished in it. Tim slapped his ass five more times before pulling out his fingers, yet again he pulled (Name) around, this time sitting him on the desk. (Name) let out a loud choked moan out behind Tims hand, luckily he was quick to quiet down the guard as Tim pushed his cock into him.

Tim looked into (Names) eyes as they rolled back, he couldn’t help himself and he pressed his lips to the guards. Quick to push his tongue into (names) mouth and explore. (Name) kissed back just as hard moaning into Tims mouth as he was bounced on his cock. (Name) wished Tim had cuffed his hands infront so he could have at least held into his neck.

Tim pulled him off of the desk due to the rattling, using his strength to keep bouncing the guard on his cock as he bit and marked his neck. (Name) felt Time bite hard enough to make him bleed, he bit the junction between (Names) neck and collar. (Name) let out a small squeal as he bit and rolled his lips together.

(Name) wished be could let go, he wanted to moan loudly. He was loosing his composure and he was loosing it quick, every time Tim slammed his cock into (Name) he saw stars and felt dizzy. “You’re so tight pretty boy.” (Name) arched into Tim’s chest begging for more as the other gripped him tightly, it wasn’t long before (Name) couldn’t hold back and Tim quickly covered his mouth as he arched and let out a loud moan.

“I’m gonna stuff this little hole full of my cum, everyone here is gonna know how much of a little whore you are.” Tim’s thrusts hit harder and (Names) eyes rolled back, moaning into his palm. “God you probably want to be bred don’t you slut.”

“I don’t mind, ill stuff you full and breed you up.” He came all over Tims orange jumpsuit, Tim not handling the tightness quickly followed after. Tim flopped forwards, pushing (Name) against. Tim lazily ground his cock into (Name) who weakly moaned, looking at Tim confused. “I wasn’t kidding when i told you i was breeding you.” Tim grinned and pressed his lips to (Names).

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x male reader #creepy pasta x reader #creepypasta x male!reader #creepy pasta x male!reader #creepy pasta x male reader #masky x malereader #m #marble hornets x reader #masky x reader #marble hornets #masky x male reader #marble hornets x male!reader #marble hornets x male reader #tim wright #tim wright x reader #tim wright x male reader #tim wright x male!reader #i hope this is okay<3 #myfic

[amethyst-halo]

decided i want to work on everything stays au so post time stop oh my god why is this so LONG

when the bros start fighting after failing the family harmony, grandma rosiepuff steps in and stops john from leaving. when they try to point blame, she puts her foot down and tells them to stop and apologize to each other. all of the older boys are too stubborn to, but baby branch feels guilty and takes the blame for everything going wrong. floyd, spruce, and clay all go to comfort him, and john realizes what he's doing is ruining the band for them. he apologizes to all of them, recognizing he'd pushed too hard and set too high a bar.

they decide to take a break from the band and focus on just being brothers instead. everything is okay for a while; they goof off and mess with each other, help their grandma with chores, etc. as brothers will do. branch is a happy little thing, though pretty anxious, and while his brothers still fight with each other, things are good. but rosiepuff gets taken the next trollstice, leaving the boys on their own.

the boys are devastated, of course, and things are pretty rough for a while. john and spruce share the brunt of rosiepuff's role as the parental figures, doing their best to comfort the youngest three and keep the pod running. branch is struggling the most with comprehending what happened, as he hadn't lost anyone before, and doesn't fully grasp for a while that rosiepuff isn't coming back. things are okay eventually, but it's a hard time for a while.

john is still keeping everyone on track of their chores and such, but mostly likes to let them goof around. he still writes music in his off time, and likes to help branch plan his bunker hideout. he prefers being outside most of the time, and likes to find weird bugs and plants to show his brothers and teach them about them.

spruce leans way back, no longer feeling pressured to keep up his heartthrob persona. he takes up the cooking and gets super good at it, and overall is very relaxed. he likes to climb high into the tree to bergen-watch at the top of the cage, and sometimes talks one of his younger brothers into going up with him.

clay indulges in his interest in learning and graduates super early; he's the first to graduate troll school (which im just basing on the us school system bc thats what i know aksjdhjk), with john having dropped out when rosiepuff was taken and spruce still in his last couple of years. while he still likes to goof off with his brothers, he takes on a more serious persona with other trolls and likes to keep up with his sad book club. he becomes pretty good friends with the older princess, viva.

floyd still wants to go solo, and ends up doing little gigs and such around the tree in his spare time. he doesn't want to leave his brothers, so he never gets huge, but he manages to set himself a name. he's fairly quiet and struggling a bit with the always-happy-ness of pop trolls, but he does his best to keep it to himself, at least around branch.

branch himself is a fairly happy kid. he's got a paranoid streak, though, and struggles a lot with being alone, so he's usually stuck to one of his brothers. he's fairly shy with other kids and doesn't seem keen on making friends, but he gets coaxed out of his shell sometimes. he loves to plan his hideout and share his ideas with his brothers, who are all getting a little concerned about how much he wants to hide.

a couple of years after the band's hiatus, branch and spruce are doing laundry up on one of the higher branches of the tree. branch is enjoying himself, singing a song john had taught him while spruce works. he doesn't notice the approach of a bergen until spruce shouts, and the next thing he knows, he's falling out of the tree as spruce is grabbed in his place.

branch is sure if he hadn't been singing, this wouldn't have happened. he had brought the bergen to them by singing, and now his brother was gone.

clay and floyd find him at the base of the tree, and they know something is wrong. branch blurts that it's all his fault and spruce is gone, and they try to tell him it isn't his fault. they take him back up to the pod to john, who won't believe that spruce is gone. john goes to look for him and clay has to follow, leaving floyd to comfort an increasingly distraught branch. john initially thinks its a bad prank by spruce and clay, but clay gets through to him that spruce was really taken.

when they get back to the pod, floyd is all but freaking out, and branch is silent and gray.

things are more subdued after that; john and clay get more serious with their younger two brothers, floyd loses a lot of his energy for things and mostly just tries to make sure branch is sleeping and fed, and branch... he's a shell of his former self. he refuses to speak, let alone sing, convinced he'd only get his other brothers taken. he pours all of his focus on planning his hideout bunker, refusing to try and play with other kids or go along with his brothers' activities.

it gets a little better over time, as the initial grief fades. branch is still gray and refusing to speak, but he is slowly talked into acting like a kid every once in a while. his brothers also get better over time, john and clay's fun sides and floyd's energy slowly returning. john pushes himself to be better faster, determined to be there for his brothers, but it does lead to clay and him getting into more arguments, and floyd sees right through his facade most of the time. but it gets better, and branch's old colors even begin to return, albeit slightly.

with spruce, he gets taken to the bergen castle, where he manages to escape the bergen's hold. he has a little cat and mouse chase, but he squeezes into a hole in the walls and gets away. in the chase, though, he lost his pathway out, and all of the bergens are looking for him, so he can't escape right away. he's forced to hunker down and wait, so he starts exploring to find a way out.

his main hiding space ends up down in the basement, close to bridget's room. he doesn't dare let her know about him, but he does listen in on her struggles with her work and emotions.

he makes a few attempts to escape over the next while, but each time ends up with him being chased back into the wall. he manages to figure out his escape path, at least, but all of his attempts are squashed one way or another. one of his attempts to escape nearly goes wrong as chef catches him and almost kills him with her knife, but he manages to move away so all she catches is his tail, causing him to lose most of it.

a couple of years after spruce is taken, the escape tunnels are finished. john does his best to keep all of them together, but when they get out on the other side, clay is missing. john tries to go back in to find him, but the tunnels start to collapse and he's pulled out of there without clay. they wait, and wait, until king peppy begins to leave, meaning there aren't any more trolls to save.

the brothers are devastated; john blames himself for losing track of clay and basically shuts off, and branch loses any color he'd gotten back. with john near unresponsive, floyd takes charge of keeping them with the group and such, distracting himself from his grief.

spruce hears about the trolls disappearing from his place in the wall, and while he's glad they seem to have escaped, it seriously deters him from trying to escape himself, as he's not sure he could find them. he loses hope, which means he loses his colors.

clay, meanwhile, managed to escape the tunnels with viva. he wants to go back to find his brothers, unsure of if they made it out, but viva stops him. he's forced to hope for the best, as he and viva find the other trolls who were separated, forming the group that becomes the putt-putt trolls.

everything is... hard, for the first few years. branch's anxiety and paranoia only gets worse, and john dory is zoned out most of the time, so floyd is forced to be the one in charge, making sure his brothers are taken care of and doing whatever he can to help with setting up the new village. floyd eventually gets sick of it and encourages john and branch to build branch's bunker, figuring it'll keep them busy. it works, and john slowly comes back to himself while helping branch dig and plan.

spruce is pretty lost back in the castle; he knows the place like the back of his hand now, but he kind of resents it because he just wants to be back with his brothers. he's spent a lot of time near bridget by proxy, and one night when she's despairing over her feelings and workload, he accidentally gives himself away. to his surprise, she isn't as eager to catch him as every other bergen, and is more curious about how he'd escaped for so long. the two end up talking more; spruce finds himself worrying about her like an older brother, and she makes a point of sneaking him more food and other things he needs where she can in return for his company.

at some point, spruce nearly gets caught again, getting cornered by one of the cooks- the chef is exiled by this point- who nearly kills him again. the side of his face and his ear get caught and injured pretty badly before he can get away, and he manages to get to bridget's room before collapsing. bridget is wildly alarmed and does her best to patch him up, but the injury scars and his hearing is damaged on the one side. still, he's incredibly touched by her care for him, and while he's not as bright as he used to be, his colors do come back.

back in the village, john and branch build most of the bunker together, floyd pitching in where he can while also working on his music and running errands and such. when branch is older and more independent, john decides to start making trips back to the tunnels in an attempt to find clay. floyd isn't thrilled, worried that john is still stuck in the past and not letting himself heal, but he can't really stop him. john doesn't have much luck anyways.

floyd himself is struggling a lot of the time under the pressure of taking care of branch and john while also maintaining a social status and dealing with his own grief, and his colors dull slowly over the next several years. it's gradual, to the point it's hard to notice, so john isn't super perceptive to it. eventually, though, floyd gets sick of john ditching them all the time to dig in the tunnels and they argue, and floyd finally blurts all of his struggles in the heat of the argument. he crumbles, the last of his color fading, and john feels awful. he does his best to apologize and comfort him, and promises he's going to take care of them properly and stop going back to the tunnels, stop being stuck in the past when the present needs him.

i don't have much planned between that and the start of the first movie tbh. branch stays gray and silent, john does his best to care for his brothers, floyd does gain dull colors again at some point and keeps up with his solo career and is probably the most social of the three of them. spruce is kinda just surviving in the castle walls. clay's doing hot girl putt putt shit. etc

movie 1 is fairly the same to start. the party lures the chef in and trolls are captured, but it includes floyd, who attended the party to be polite, and john, who tried to go save him. branch and poppy go after them and branch is even less inclined to put up with her shenanigans along the way. im not gonna lie i haven't managed to figure out much of any of the movies from there.

i know that spruce reunites with his bros while they're trying to rescue the snack pack and such, and is a major advocate for trolls and bergens not being as different as they think.

between movies 1 and 2, about a month before 2 starts, floyd sets off for a gig at mount rageous for his solo career stuff, which :) is fine :)

i don't have much else figured out yet for some reason it is eluding me way more than any other au has so. i'll figure it out aksdjhjkhdjfh

#trolls #trolls au #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls brozone #trolls john dory #trolls bruce #trolls spruce #trolls clay #trolls floyd #trolls branch #sketch speaks #everything stays au #this has been staring at me from my drafts for a bit. dear god is it long and theres NOT EVEN ANY STUFF FROM THE MOVIES YET #AUGH #i started this post a couple of weeks ago and its been fuckin At My Door since then #i love all my aus equally. only draws like 3 of them

[theoverlyenthusiasticwriter]

Howl

This is the moment that Azriel and Fenrys fall in love with each other. Well, maybe not the moment, but the realization.

*****

Mor sighed obnoxiously as she collapsed in her seat. “Did somebody curse me or something? What the fuck is going on?”

Fenry popped an olive into his mouth, grinning. “Tough break?”

“Gah. I’m practically being ignored.” Mor groaned, dropping her head onto the table.

“Oh dear, Fen, what have you done to Mor?” Cassian asked as he slid into the seat beside Mor.

Azriel took the seat across from him and beside Fenrys, passing out the new round of drinks he’d collected.

“Apparently, everyone’s too busy staring at my beautiful face to look at hers.” Fenrys sighed piteously.

“I even tried flirting!” Mor cried. “Do you know how bad I am at flirting?” 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “It’s not that hard.”

“Really? I doubt you even know how to— girls just throw themselves at you.”

“Of course I know how. Watch and learn.”’ Cassian slid closer to her and wrapped a lock of her golden hair around his fingers. His voice lowered. “You busy tonight, princess?”

Mor burst into laughter while Azriel snorted loudly. He was drunk, Fenrys could tell. There was a slight flush to his cheeks, and he’d swayed a bit when he set down their drinks.

“Got something to add, shadowsinger?” Cassian crooned.

“There’s no way that would work.” Azriel sat back, gesturing to Mor. “Look at her. She’s not even blushing.”

“Like you could do any better.”

“Watch and learn, brother,” Azriel purred before turning to Fenrys.

He put a hand on Fenrys’ thigh, dangerously high, and leaned in, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear so he could whisper, “Leave your door unlocked.”

All thoughts flew from Fenrys’ head as he blanched, cheeks aflame. He’d never… Nobody had ever…

Azriel chuckled softly as he withdrew, throwing Cassian a smug look. “That’s how it’s done.”

Fenrys’ tried to control his face and failed, epically. 

Across from him, Mor laughed. “Oh, Azzy! I think you broke him. He’s blushing like a virgin.” 

Fenrys put his elbows on the table so he could bury his head in his hands, mortified by his own reaction. Az was just joking, for gods’ sake. 

Azriel patted his shoulder, which wasn’t very comforting at all. “That’s how you know it worked,” he told Mor and Cassian.

“Don’t tease the poor guy like that. Look. He’s about to have a conniption.” Cassian pushed Fenrys’ drink into his line of sight, which he greedily accepted.

Azriel slung an arm over the back of Fenrys’ chair as conversation moved on. 

Cassian jerked his chin to the bar. “Why don’t you show us in the field, Az? For all we know, Fenny could just have a crush on you.”

Azriel chuckled again as Fenrys choked on his drink. He tilted his head, eyeing the brunette Cassian had indicated. Fenrys’ gaze was drawn to the hard line of his jaw as Azriel leaned closer. The movement pushed his side into Fenrys’ shoulder, warming him. “Not my type.”

“Right,” Mor purred. “You’ve got a thing for blonds. Two seats down, in the black dress.”

“I do not have a thing for blonds. Also, she came in with someone.” 

Cassian elbowed Mor, wiggling his brows. “He’s been watching her, then.”

“I’ve been watching everybody.” Azriel’s fingers danced absently over Fenrys’ shoulder. “Or have you forgotten my job description?”

“Oh, come on, Az. Indulge us.” Mor propped her elbows on the table, pouting. “We all know you haven’t taken anyone home in months. That is, unless someone is waiting for you there…”

“Stop digging, Mor,” said Azriel, his voice lowering a fraction.

“Ha!” Mor slammed her hand on the table. “I knew it! Fen, you owe me ten marks.”

Azriel looked offended. “Fenrys, you’ve joined in their shenanigans?”

Fenrys sheepishly handed over the money. “You never talk about your lovers, and if you’re getting all pissy over the mention of one, that means…”

“I don’t have one.”

Fenrys snatched his coins back from Mor. “Pay up. Both of you. I told you I could get him to admit it.”

“Goddamnit.” Cassian dug around in his pockets. 

Azriel sighed. “Why are you all so invested in my love life?”

“Because it’s so damned boring,” Mor groused. “How long has it been since you got laid, huh? With how bitchy you’ve been, I suspect a month at least.”

“I thought he was normally like this,” Fenrys said around a grin. “There’s some other state beyond absolute grouch?” 

“There's a slightly more tolerable grouch.” Cassian sipped his drink. 

Azriel rolled his eyes. 

Fenrys, who relished any reaction whatsoever from the shadowsinger, couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of triumph.

Triumph, and something else.

*****

Conversation moved on. Azriel was only half-paying attention. He blamed it on the alcohol, but the real culprit may have been Fenrys, laughing at his side. He looked more handsome when he was happy, Azriel thought.

They left an hour later. They still had to train tonight, Azriel had reminded Fenrys when he grumbled about leaving. 

As they flew, Fenrys pointed to the mountain peak. “Can we go there?” he shouted over the wind.

Azriel glanced at him, but shrugged. A new terrain wouldn’t hurt. A few minutes later, they landed on the very tip of the mountain.

Fenrys grinned, looking out over the city.

“Why here?” Azriel asked from a few paces away. 

“I don’t know.” Fenrys went to the very edge. “Do you ever just want to scream?”

“What?” Azriel came to his side, close enough to grab him if he tumbled.

“Like, just… let it out, you know? Just scream.” Fenrys gazed out at the city. “I guess you’ve never had a desire to be loud. It would be against your dark and mysterious nature.”

Azriel snorted. He had the desire to be loud, to scream and cry and rage, but those were emotions better suited to a saner man. He wasn’t sure if he started yelling that he’d be able to stop.

Fenrys blinked at him. “I don’t think you really get it. Shall I demonstrate?”

Azriel waved a hand. “Go ahead.”

Fenrys tipped his chin to the sky, drew in a deep breath, and roared.

The sound was instantly swallowed up by the wind, torn from Fenrys’ throat. It didn’t sound like anguish or rage or any good reason to be roaring. It was just… sound for the sake of sound.

The last notes vanished as quickly as they appeared. Fenrys turned to Azriel, his cheeks flushed with more than the alcohol. “See?”

“Does that make you feel better?” Azriel asked, honestly curious.

“More than you’d expect. Try it.”

Azriel shook his head. “I think I’m good.”

“Come on.” Fenrys poked him in the ribs. “It’s not going to hurt anything.”

“There’s no point.”

“And does everything you do have to have a purpose? What kind of life is that?”

Azriel crossed his arms over his chest and said pathetically, “Ahhhh.”

Fenrys laughed. “Gods. That’s going to live forever in my mind. Not like that. Like… like a howl.”

“Not everyone is half wolf,” Azriel reminded him.

“Hey, the wolves got this one right. I promise.” Just to show off, Fenrys tilted his face back to the moon and howl, low and loud. This one was different: the haunting bay of an animal rather than the pure emotion of a man.

Azriel couldn’t help but be transfixed.

Fenrys’ eyes opened, as dark and depthless as the earth itself. “What?” he asked.

Azriel shook his head. “Fine.”

Fenrys waited.

Rolling his eyes, Azriel tried not to feel a little shy. He hesitated, then turned away from Fenrys, hands fisted at his side. He didn’t close his eyes like Fenrys and let out a shout like thunder. 

The shadows went wild, leaping and quivering, almost as if they were surprised. They licked into the air, devouring the sound almost as quickly as the wind did. 

Azriel opened his eyes wide, a hand going to his throat, where the shout had died. And it… it felt good. He felt almost… lighter? That wasn’t the right word. Some things can’t be described by words.

Fenrys chuckled. “How was it?”

“It…” Azriel’s gaze slid to Fenrys’ mouth without his permission. He wanted to consume that grin and all the noice that came from it. Wanted to eat Fenrys alive. “It’s cathartic.”

“It is.” Fenrys sat down on the very edge of the mountain, feet dangling, completely unaware of where Azriel’s thoughts had turned. It was a long few moments before Azriel sat beside him.

“How often do you do this?” 

Fenrys tilted his head. “Not as often as I’d like to. It’s hard to find places where you can just scream.”

Azriel’s wings splayed out behind him, curling protectively around Fenrys’ shoulders. The lights of Velaris were a night sky themselves, as breath taking as the first time he’d seen them.

Fenrys leaned against Azriel’s shoulder and yawned. “Do we really have to train today?”

“No,” Azriel said quietly. For his mind was still catching up, still trying to explain the haunting image that had scorched the inside of his brain:

A boy, eyes closed, head back, howling to a moon that was not his own.

#fenrys moonbeam #acotar #sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #sjm #acotar fanfiction #acomaf #acowar #acofas #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfic #fenriel #my fanfiction #acotar tog crossover #empire of storms

[ash5monster01]

Goes On Chapter Four

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x OC!FemReader

Warnings: 18+, depression, mentions of suicide, heavy topics, eventual smut, slow burn romance, fluff, gender themes/stereotypes.

Summary: Against his best efforts Charlie has to start at a new preparatory school after the tragic events that took place at Welton. The very events that led to the loss of his best friend and getting expelled in the first place. He has no plans to make friends let alone get close to anyone ever again. That is until he meets Evelyn and her interesting group of friends. No matter how hard he tries to push them away he finds it to be impossible. So he caves and in the end learns that life can still be enjoyable even if it feels like everyone is against you.

word count: 2.4k

Three ←→ Five

Masterlist

Ridge Academy, NY

1/22/60

Getting Charlie to be social was still impossible even after his conversation with Evelyn in the gym. She tried and tried but she couldn’t get more than a few words and denial every time. She had started to run out of excuses to talk to him and she figured it wouldn’t happen for her. She’d never get to unravel the mystery of Charlie Dalton no matter how badly she wanted too. So she accepted that she would never find a reason to talk to him again until a miracle happened.

“Hello” Evelyn answered the pay phone in the hallway. The one that rang almost seconds after she got off call with her Mom.

“Hi, I was wondering if Charlie Dalton was available?” a boys voice came through the phone, it was slightly static and the way Evelyn’s heart doubled in speed made her realize she wasn’t entirely out of reason to talk to him.

“Um, I can check. Can I ask who’s calling?” Evelyn asked, trying her best not to sound too giddy through the phone.

“Tell him it’s Knox, he’ll know who” he responds and you smile even though he can’t see you.

“Yeah, give me just a minute. The boys dorms are a bit of a hike” Evelyn tells him and this so called Knox chuckles through the phone.

“Take your time” he says while she sets the phone down and starts jogging through the halls to a room she was all to familiar with. She doesn’t even knock, like usual. This time Nate’s pants are off, standing in front of his closet in boxers.

“Evelyn! Are you kidding?” he shouts, scrambling to pull on sweats and she snickers before her eyes glance to the boy laid in the corner.

“You got a call Charlie, some guy named Knox” and for the first time in both Nate and Evelyn’s lives they see a beaming smile cross the boys face. It was as if those few words had brought so much life back to him.

“Knoxie!” he grins, jumping from the bed and leaving the dorm without any shoes on.

“Knoxie?” Evelyn mutters to Nate and he shrugs as she shuts the door and rushes off in the direction Charlie is practically sprinting too.

“Knox Overstreet, it’s been too long” Charlie grabs the phone Evelyn had abandoned and she hears the adoration in his voice. How happy he is to receive a call from Knox Overstreet.

“I know man, I don’t think we’ve ever gone this long without seeing each other since we were ten” Knox responds over the line and Charlie feels tears pricking at his eyes. The happy kind though. When he was expelled his parents wouldn’t allow him any calls. He hadn’t talked to any of the boys since Neil’s funeral. The first thing he did when he got to Ridge was write a letter to each of the remaining poets letting them know the number of the school and where to address his letters. The boys must’ve just gotten them.

“I hate it” Charlie says which makes Knox laugh loudly on the other end. Class was never the same without Charlie causing trouble in them.

“Me too, you’ll be glad you’re not here though. Nolan’s really laid down law since you left. Todd pulled a stunt right before break and now he’s got us all on a short leash” Knox tells him and the shock and amusement that covers Charlie’s features shocks Evelyn who watches him talk more animated than she has ever seen him.

“Todd Anderson pulled a stunt, yeah right. Pigs also fly” Charlie says with a wide grin and glimmering eyes and Evelyn finds her heart constricting at the sight. She wanted him to smile at her like that.

“He did Charlie, swear on my life. Keating came to collect his things while Nolan was teaching our class and Todd actually stood on his desk and called out Oh Captain, my Captain. Nolan flipped and half the class stood on their desks too” Knox recalls the moment, all the emotions of respect and loss flooding through him when he stood on his own desk.

“No shit, little Todd grew a back bone” Charlie says, disbelief but also pride filling him. “How is Todd?”

“He’s okay. He misses Neil like most of us but he’s really come out of his shell. He told me he wrote you back so expect a letter from him soon” Knox informs him and Charlie feels more excitement surged through him at the thought of getting letters from his friends.

“Meeks and Pitts too? I haven’t heard from any of you guys in forever” Charlie says almost out of breath from his excitement.

“They’re good, actually got busted for building a new radio the other day. I swear Meeks almost cried” and Charlie’s laughing because he knows exactly what this all looks like. Those boys and that school had been his entire life. It was what he knew best.

“Tell him I’ll send him a new one, he deserves it” Knox chuckles at Charlie’s response, knowing that even confident and almighty Charlie had been bull dozed by the world.

“What about you Nuwanda, how’s Ridge Academy? Co-ed” the suggestion in Knox’s tone is not lost on Charlie. Thing was Charlie could never admit to Knox how reserved he had been. He’d probably never believe it.

“It’s okay, different for sure. I’m just trying to make it through” Charlie says, not knowing Evelyn still lingered and watched him for the entirety of his conversation.

“That doesn’t sound like Charlie, I would’ve thought you’d have twelve girlfriends by now” the obscure number makes Charlie laugh and he shakes his head.

“No, definitely no girlfriends. Cute girls though” this response makes Evelyn perk up beside him, curious if she was one of these so called cute girls.

“What about the one who answered the phone, she sounded cute?” Knox asks and Charlie sighs, thinking of Evelyn and how beautiful and different she was from any girl he’s ever met.

“Super cute” Charlie tells him, a soft smile on his face. If he was the man he used to be Evelyn would’ve been his by now. He’s sure of it.

“Then what the hell are you waiting for?” Knox asks exasperated and Charlie just chuckles, leaning his head against the wall next to the payphone. Still unaware of the small girl stood behind him, waiting patiently.

“The great Nuwanda has taken a leave of absence for the foreseeable future. No girls, no caves, no friends” Charlie says and this is more information Evelyn hadn’t been able to get out of him the entirety of the time he had been here.

“Well let me know when he’s back, I miss that guy” Knox says and Charlie smiles fondly of his eldest friend, other than Neil of course. Yet know he figures Knox takes that position.

“I will, I miss you Knoxie. Say hi to Chris for me and maybe I’ll get to see you soon” Charlie says, wishing more than anything he could see Knox now standing by the same phones he watched him call Chris on for the first time.

“I’d like that Charles, I’ll be in touch soon” and Charlie humphs his acknowledgment when the phone finally clicks indicating the end of the call. Sighing he hung his own phone up, feeling happier than he has in the last two months.

“Well that was unexpected” Evelyn’s voice makes Charlie jump and he quickly turns to spot the small girl who had to of been behind him the whole time.

“God, we need to put a bell on you” he says and Evelyn snorts.

“Hey don’t change the subject. What was that all about? You were smiling and laughing. Who was that guy?” Evelyn asks, crossing her arms and Charlie brings a hand to the back of his neck. He was a bit embarrassed but then again not at all. Talking to Knox was the highlight of his week.

“My friend Knox, back at Welton. It was my first time talking to him in two months so forgive me for being happy” Charlie says in defense and Evelyn nods as she takes this information in.

“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to be happy. Was just weird listening to you be so animated. So full of life. Talkative even” Evelyn points out and Charlie sighs as he starts down the hallway in direction of his dorm. He doesn’t have to check to know Evelyn is following him.

“Well I’m a very animated person, I just don’t care to show that around here” Charlie says shoving his hands in his pockets and Evelyn scurries to keep up with his long strides.

“But why? I mean God Charlie, that’s the guy I want to know. The one who was laughing and talking with his friend on the phone” Evelyn says, reaching for his arm in hopes to use his momentum to keep up with him. She’s surprised when he doesn’t shake her away and allows her arm to lock with his own.

“Look Evelyn, I don’t know what you want from me. You barely know me. I just choose to be lonely” he says and Evelyn stays silent for a moment, relishing in the heat that comes from his side.

“Who’s Nuwanda?” she suddenly asks after a moment and Charlie stiffens beside her which she notices.

“It’s just an inside joke with my friends” he’s not entirely lying but Evelyn just sighs and accepts this answer. He clocks the instant pout on her perfectly plump lips, a deep rouge color, ones he’s been dreaming of kissing since seeing them. “Please don’t make that look”

“What look?” Evelyn defends herself and Charlie chuckles, not noticing how he squeezes her arm into him. The action making butterflies erupt in her stomach.

“That pout, you keep giving me that look and pretty soon I’ll be telling you all my secrets” he says, eyes glimmering as he studies her face. Maybe it was left over from his talk with Knox or he just held admiration for the girl beside him. No one was really quite sure.

“What if I want to know all your secrets?” Evelyn whispers, eyes fluttering to look up at him through her lashes and Charlie feels the weight of her words. The tension carried between them and he wished he could do nothing more than kiss the pout off her face.

“Trust me Ev, you don’t want to know my secrets” he says after a beat and Evelyn finds herself grinning at the nickname only her friends ever called her.

“Say what you will but I have a feeling I’m getting under your skin” Evelyn teases, her free arm reaching over and dancing her fingers along his chest. Charlie just shakes his head, trying his best not to laugh because of the girl.

“What makes you say that?” he asks as they start to approach his dorm door and Evelyn just smiles as she looks at him.

“You called me Ev, only someone close to you is comfortable enough to use a nickname” and Charlie realizes his mistake but before he can address it her arm is loosening from his own and shoving his dorm door open again. Nate stands there in his boxers a second time and instantly groans the minute he sees her.

“Again, you’ve got to be kidding me?!” Nate groans out, throwing his arms in frustration.

“Dude, I don’t care. It’s not like I’m gonna look and why would it bother you if I do?” Evelyn says walking into the room and Nate blushes almost instantly but it goes away when the girls form plops onto Charlie’s bed instead of his own. She was already beginning to choose him.

“Don’t you have homework or something?” he questions, pulling his sweat pants back on and crawling into bed. He had accepted by now that this was how he was going to sleep.

“No, and I’m bored. But hey! Guess what? Charlie has friends!” she beams at him and Nate’s eyes fall to Charlie who moves to sit at the foot of his bed since Evelyn covered majority of it.

“Yeah right” Nate snorts and Charlie just rolls his eyes before looking at Evelyn.

“You know, I’d like to lay in my own bed” he says to her and a sly smirk crosses her face.

“I don’t mind cuddling, I can be big spoon if you want?” and red skin travels from Charlie’s neck and up to his ears which both Nate and Evelyn notice.

“Nate we’re locking the door from now on” he says and Nate claps his hands together before pointing at him.

“I’m with you on that one” he says and the boys quickly team up against Evelyn.

“Oh this is so not fair, ganging up on me like this. I’m perfectly innocent” yet the smile on her face says otherwise which gives encouragement for the boys to tease her more.

“Go back to your dorm, bother Violet for all I care” Nate says and Charlie nods, reaching for her arms and pulling her into an upright position.

“I agree, Nate and I have some business to discuss. Roommate business, for our ears only” Charlie says and Evelyn feigns offense as Charlie starts pushing her up off the bed.

“Yeah, it’s our weekly meeting. Only people who live in this room can be present” Evelyn gasps, fighting Charlie’s strength.

“But what if Marty is there? I’ve seen too much, my eyes just can’t bear it!” she defends but Nate joins in helping push the girl towards the door which is no equal fight. Before she can even react Charlie’s arms are locked around her waist, lifting her from the ground, and Nate opens the door where Charlie sets her down.

“Goodnight Ev” Charlie grins and she knows he did it on purpose after their conversation. Nate shuts the door and the last thing she hears is the click of the lock.

“You guys suck!” she groans out and the laughs from behind the door tell her they don’t care. Sighing she fixes her skirt that had been ruffled from the fight to the door and starts down the hallway to her own dorm. Maybe she had more reason to be curious about Charlie now, but at least she knew he thought of her as a friend. In some weird, antisocial way, and for now she could accept that.

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

#charlie dalton fic #charlie dalton x oc #charlie dalton x reader #charlie dalton fanfic #charlie dalton dps #charlie dalton imagine #charlie dalton smut #charlie dps #charlie dalton #charlie dalton x femreader #charlie dalton series #charlie dalton x original character #gale hansen #gale hansen series #dps series #dps fanfiction #dps headcanons #dps fic #dps boys #dps fandom #dps #dps au #dead poets society fandom #dead poets society fanfiction #dead poets society #dead poets society series #dead poets society imagines #dead poets fandom #dead poets fanfic #dead poets au

[thatgoblin]

Summary: Despite digging your heels in for months, you finally move in with John.

Warnings: Lots of Scottish swearing.

“Love, why is it so cold?” John asked as he walked into the house. Arms full of groceries, he found me bundled up and on a chair as I tried to open a vent.

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’ve been muckin’ about with the thermostat for almost two hours and it keeps spittin’ out cold air. I dinna ken to do.”

“Oh, I’m glad I know Scottish people,” John said softly as he set the food on the counter. Coming over, he picked me up to set me on the ground. “Let me see if I can figure it out.”

“I already called the landlord and he said he’d be here an hour ago and he’s not messaged or called,” I said as I grabbed a blanket to wrap myself in.

“He never does,” John grumbled as he took off the thermostat cover to test the batteries. A few more minutes of him checking things out and he too couldn’t figure out what was wrong. “Everything looks good, but it doesn’t make sense. Why won’t it work? Call your landlord again. Tell him it’s the middle of winter and you’re pregnant and need heat.”

“He knows I’m pregnant and it’s the middle of winter. He will be here at some point,” I said.

“Love, you can’t just wait and hope he shows up,” John said, beginning to put items away.

“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. Part of the therapy we had been going to was focused on my constant road blocking and not letting anyone near to help. I needed to work on being able to instantly say no to things John offered to help with. For him though, he was working on not pushing me when I said no to things that did not need to be pushed. The heating was something we needed to get fixed ASAP though.

I grabbed my phone to give the landlord a call as John went back to tinkering with the heating. His phone rang and rang and rang, eventually it went to voicemail and that was full. I sent him a text as well, hoping he’d get back to me soon.

“No answer,” I said with a sigh.

“I know you want to stay here, but for tonight or until the heating is fixed, come stay at my place,” John said. Taking a moment to look around, I nodded.

“Okay. I’ll pack my bag. If you want to put the groceries in the car then we’ll head over.” It didn’t take long before we were packed up and over at John’s. The last time I had been there, I quickly realized, was when we had hooked up for the first and only time.

“John! Hello! Haven’t seen you in a while!” A woman’s voice called from across the street as John got out of the jeep. Looking over, I saw a tall, blonde with tight clothes that showed off her assets. She quickly crossed over to give him a hug as I stayed sitting in the front seat. “How are you? It’s been ages! Still working long distances?” John was stiff, but returned the hug a bit before quickly letting go.

“Yeah, still working on remote stations,” he said with a nod. Jealousy didn’t come naturally to me, at least in the sense that I got jealous over a partner. This wasn’t jealousy that had me hopping out of the jeep to walk over to them.

“Hi,” I said, standing next to John with a soft smile. My hands rested on my large belly that was hard to miss. “Who’s this, Jo?”

“This is my neighbor, Camilla,” John said, wrapping an arm around my waist. “She checks on my plants and gets my mail for me when I go on long business trips. Camilla, this is my partner.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” the woman said, holding out her hand for me to shake. “I had no idea that John had someone. I guess you’ve kept him all to yourself for the most part. You’re going to have to learn to share.”

“Kinda I guess,” I said, chuckling as I shook her hand. “We have groceries to get in, Jo.”

“Right,” John said. “It was good to see you again, Camilla. We’ll be seeing you.” He gave her a nod and wave before guiding me back to the jeep for us to grab our groceries and bags.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Camilla called before walking back to her house.

After getting everything inside and put away, I turned to John.

“Before you say anything-”

“Jo, she’s fuckin’ on it,” I cut him off with a snicker. “Don’t worry, I trust you. Her, not so much.”

“Let’s just get you settled in,” he said with a heavy sigh. Giggling, I helped him unpack the groceries before we moved my bags to the bedroom. I hadn’t been there since we had first met. “Is it just how you remember it?”

“Is it bad that I don’t remember it at all?” I asked with a wince. John barked out a laugh as he shook his head.

“Considering you were walking out with your shoes in hand, no. It’s fine,” he said, shaking his head. “Here, let’s put your things in the dresser.”

“You don’t have to clear out a drawer for me,” I said, ready to just pull stuff out of my bags. John snorted, rolling his eyes as he opened several already empty drawers of the dresser. “Oh, well then.”

“I may have had a few things ready for if you came over,” he said, dropping a kiss to my head.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” I said, getting to work in putting my clothes away. “It is a nice house and now I feel bad I never came over till now.”

“It’s okay. I understand why you were hesitant and we’re working to get better together,” he said, carrying my toothbrush and hygiene products to the bathroom. The bed was a full size, something I hadn’t recalled, but then again I had been busy. Putting my body pillow that I cuddled and the super soft blanket that I had to have to pet when I was falling asleep. I didn’t want to tell John he needed a bigger bed, but with just the body pillow on it, it looked pretty small.

Just as I was changing from my trainers to my slippers, my phone rang. It was my landlord. A quick conversation and he would be over the next day.

“What’s the verdict?” John asked, coming back in.

“He said he’d be there tomorrow. Something came up,” I said with a groan.

“I’m not going to push you, but-”

“If I’m moving in, you need a bigger bed,” I said, cutting him off. John grinned as he came over to sit next to me.

“You really want to move in?” He asked, pulling me close to sit in his lap.

“At this rate, the landlord won’t have anything fixed. We’ll have to figure out what to bring in and what can be sold or put into storage, but we need to be in a better home when the baby comes,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Especially if you have to go on a mission and I’m left here alone with the ween. A sturdy house that has a Camilla instead of a flaky landlord.”

John rolled his eyes as I giggled, kissing his nose.

The rest of the evening was spent making a delicious dinner as we planned on what was needed of my things versus what John already had. Lists were made as we talked excitedly about what room to pick for the baby as well. John’s house was a two story townhouse that his parents had left him in their will, which meant our girl would be growing up in his childhood home. It made me a bit weepy because it was something good and warm and happy that we could give her that I didn’t have. I wanted her to have the opposite of what I did growing up and John’s home was perfect for that.

~::~::~::~::~::~::~

“How do you feel about having a pet?” John asked as I made breakfast the next morning.

“A pet? Like a bird or a cat?” I asked, slicing some fruit to put on the oatmeal.

“Well, like a dog,” he said, pouring himself a cup of coffee. I had to abstain from my usual 3 cups for the last five months and I missed it. “I was thinking maybe having a big dog with you while I’m away would be nice.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “That sounds like more work, especially with a baby. Besides, I still need to figure out my own job and what I’m going to do. I’m sure they’re about to let me go because I’ve missed so much work. Pregnant or not, they need someone there and I’m not getting paid.”

“What if you didn’t get another job?” John asked. “You could be a stay at home mum and not have to worry about that.”

“What, so I can be barefoot and pregnant in your kitchen non-stop?” I snorted. “I need to do something, Jo. Whether it’s a job or picking up classes for computer training, just something.”

“That’s fair, but if you need time between jobs and making a decision on what to do, I will support you. If you want to even go so far as to not get ‘free money’ we can say you’re doing my house keeping,” John said. I had to cackle at that. “What? I’m serious!”

“I know and I appreciate it,” I said, moving to hug him. “I know money makes things sticky, but we are kind of bound together by a child and I’m moving in, so I would appreciate the monetary help.”

“We can set up a joint account so you have money for bills that aren’t on autopay with mine. It will make things easy so we both have our own accounts but it’s easier to send one another money if necessary,” John said, kissing my head as he rubbed my back, rocking us as we stood in the kitchen.

“I like that plan,” I said, smiling up at him. We were finding our rhythm and the counseling was working. I actually was realizing how happy I was compared to before him. John wasn’t the sole thing to keep me happy and sane, but he definitely was a part of it.

~::~::~::~::~::~::~::~

“Guess who I brought home!” John called from the front door as I came up from the basement having been busy with laundry. We had agreed on a dog and after looking at some pictures and reading up on breeds that were good with kids, we had decided on a German Shepherd/Bernese Mountain mix. He was two years old and at a shelter nearby, we had decided to adopt as well after finding out how much pure bred dogs went for as well as what went into making them. I was in love with the big, goofy looking guy the moment I saw him. He looked a lot like a Shepherd, but his ears were floppy and his coat was thick with more of the Bernese coloring than the Shepherd’s.

“Hello, sweetie,” I cooed, coming to greet the pair. The dog wasn’t wild, but he was clearly excited as he sniffed everything. I let John lead him over, a rubber muzzle on him for the time being. Some training would be necessary, but we both wanted this and knew it would be worth it in the long run. Holding out my hand, I let him sniff it curiously before getting a few kisses through the muzzle. “Aww, thank you Darlin’,” I said, close to tears at how kind and gentle he was being. The hormones had made me mostly sweaty and achy, up until the last week and then the emotions started and I couldn’t help but get weepy over the smallest thing.

“Welcome home, Cromwell,” John said, smiling as I began to pet the pup.

“Cromwell?” I asked, looking up at him with a furrowed brow. “What’s that from?”

“Oliver Cromwell was a general for the New Model Army in the 1600s,” John said, reaching down to give firm side pats. I knew he was interested in British military history, so it didn’t sound odd, but I knew that name somehow. A quick google search had me sighing heavily. “What?”

“The New Model Army, specifically Oliver Cromwell fought against the Scots to colonize them,” I said, narrowing my eyes and pursing my lips.

“Oh. . .” He said, realizing the issue.

“We’re not naming our dog after a fuckin’ colonizer. You’re lucky I’m not holding it against you for colonizing my uterus,” I said with a huff.

“I don’t know about that,” John said.

“The fuck ye mean ye dinna ken ‘bout it!?” I cried, getting a loud bark and awoo from the dog. “See! He’s a Scot! We’re not naming him after the bastard!” John groaned, sighing as I bent over to baby talk and love on our furry son.

“Then what should we name him?” John asked. I stood up straight and settled him with a menacing smirk. “Oh no.”

“Well, I’m from Lochend, so why not Nessie?” I said. “Are you a Nessie? Yes? Is your name Nessie?” I babbled at the dog who began to dance and whine as he became excited with me.

“Jesus Christ, fine, his name is Nessie,” John said, shaking his head at us.

~::~::~::~::~::~::~::~::~::~

“Are you okay?” John asked, eyes a bit wide as he stared at me and Nessie. I was on the couch with the dog curled up next to me, watching Archer on the TV.

“Yeah, why?” I asked, looking from the screen to his concerned face.

“Your belly. . . Is the baby doing that?”

I had a plate of pickles, olives, and crisps with dip on my belly and my child was making the biggest surf waves as she stretched and moved around. The plate was like a surfboard, riding the waves.

“Aye,” I said. “She’s just gettin’ her calisthenics in,” I said with a shrug, turning back to the TV.

“It. . . It doesn’t hurt?” He asked, just keeping his eyes trained on my belly.

“I mean, it feels weird, but I’ve gotten used to it. She’s been doing this for a while now, Jo. You’re just able to see it more now because she’s gettin’ bigger,” I said, chuckling as he shifted, crossing his arms then quickly putting his hands on his hips. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking from my belly to my face then back to my belly. “Yeah, I’m good.”

~::~::~::~::~::~::~::~

“Jo!” I screamed from the kitchen. “JOHN! GET IN HERE!” There was a feral growling coming from inside the cupboard as I held it shut. John barrelled into the room with Nessie right behind him.

“What? What is it?” He asked, looking around to assess the threat.

“There’s a BIRD in the cupboard!” I cried, pointing to the shut door as singing replaced the growls.

“What do you mean a bird? How did a bird get in?” John asked, coming over to shoo me off to the side.

“I had a window open to clean it and it just flew in,” I said, looking around him at the singing cupboard. “It came in like a fucking fighter pilot at me head and then it hovered around the kitchen before going to the mugs. I think it might have shit in there.”

“What the bleedin’ hell?” John muttered as he peeked into the cabinet. “Oh Jesus, Love,” he groaned as he opened the door to show a bird the size of my hand with a white head and light blue body in a glass jar. It was bobbing and singing as it literally vibrated itself in circles now and then. “It’s just a little budgie,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s probably someone’s pet that got loose.”

“You can have a bird as a pet?” I asked, looking on confused as John mirrored my expression back at me. “Don’t look at me like that!”

~::~::~::~::~::~

“It’s just until we find the owner or a foster home for it,” John said, pulling the sheet over the large birdcage. After an emergency run to the store, we found ourselves with a dog and a bird.

“Jo, I don’t know how to take care of a bird, not even for a few days. What are we going to do if we don’t find the owner? I’m just learning to take care of a dog and soon a wee babe!” I sighed. “I’m just not an animal person, I’m sorry. We never had any growing up, save for Johnny’s gerbil, Dalglish, that he lost after having it for a week. It never came back.”

“Your brother’s gerbil ran away from home?” John asked, snickering as Nessie looked at the covered cage with worry. At least it looked like worry. He whined a bit, but hearing John say his name and he was quiet. John and I were working hard to train him and it was definitely paying off. Part of me was worried that he’d try and eat the bird, but so far he just stared in concern.

“None of us knew how to take care of anything! No one taught us! It was a gift for his birthday when he was 11 and from one of our aunts. I don’t remember which one,” I explained. “You’re lucky I know how to take care of you.”

“For which I am thankful,” John snorted. “But I’m also a grown man.”

“Which proves why animals are a big step and we need to find someone to take the bird,” I said. “So don’t get attached.”

~::~::~::~::~::~

“Aw, thank you, you wee babe,” I cooed at Bonnie, the budgie, as she walked around my shoulder and made kissy noises at me.

“What happened to you not being an animal person?” John asked as I made posters of her to put up.

“Mind yer own business,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

~::~::~::~::~::~::~

The ADHD was really ramping up with the hormone shift. The staring off into space while forgetting what I was doing. That wasn’t the case at the moment. John was grunting and huffing as he was putting together the crib we had just bought. It was supposed to be done in 20 minutes, but the instructions only came in French apparently. So John was doing his best to go off the pictures. I stood in the doorway, watching as he sat on his knees and staring at the large unfolded paper. He was concentrating, furrowing his brow as he rolled up his plaid button up sleeves to get them out of the way. It was a few minutes of standing there, staring at him while fantasizing about doing something else than putting the crib together, before he looked up.

“Can I help you?” He asked with a chuckle.

“You’re lucky I’m pregnant right now or I’d be making you put a baby inside me now,” I said, earning a gruff laugh.

~::~::~::~::~::~

“You’re finally speaking to your brother because you need him to side with you on this argument?” John asked, pinching the bridge of his nose as I called Johnny.

“Aye,” I growled.

“ ‘lo?” Johnny’s voice was confused and probably nervous.

“ ‘ey, yer on speaker. Tell John he’s a fuckin’ right bastard for tryin’ to name the baby Margaret?”

“What!? Sir! The fuck ‘re ye on about!? Respectfully, Price, what the fuck!?”

“It was a suggestion!” John cried, throwing his hands up in the air.

“A shite one!” Johnny yelled. “No niece of mine will be named after that fuckin’ badger of a cock muncher!”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” John asked, looking confused.

“Margaret Thatcher,” I said, staring at him.

“. . . Do you know your father, Mike, do you know his nickname from SAS?” John asked.

“No, I dunno none of ‘em,” I said with a sigh.

“I’m not opening up this can of worms,” John said quickly walking away.

“So. . . Are we good now?” Johnny asked from the phone.

“Aye, we’re good. Just don’t tell our parents a thing about me,” I said.

“Understood. . . Simon just got me some Irn-Bru, do you want any?”

“I’m offended that you have to ask. I live with John now, so bring it over.”

“On the way.”

“Oh, by the way, John knows about Dalglish.”

“NOT DALGLISH!”

<<<Previous

Masterlist

COD Masterlist

Taglist: @birdstoprey @sebbytheraccoon @pricescigar @alwaysshallow @sae1kie @sleepydang @lexi-zsy09 @ghostlywhiskey @ghosts-cyphera @poohkie90 @neothewitch @shadofireshinobi @sadslasher13 @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @xaestheticalien

#captain john price #captain price #cod mwii #cod mw2 #captain price/reader #john soap mactavish

[raayllum]

"My mom used to do that." for claudiez 👀

as always they're in their 20s... Plus send me a number with a ship and i'll write it &lt;3 accepted ships are tdp canon ships + rarepairs (claudiez, sopreli, corvus/terry, sorvus)

There's very little that Ezran remembers about Sarai.

He remembers the warmth of her smile, he thinks. The softness of her hair in his chubby little hands. But beyond that, there's not much else—too recently weaned before her death for more than stories he's heard to take hold, and even then, it feels like every year Harrow (until he couldn't) and Callum, or even Aunt Amaya, would bring up something new, something small, that they remembered, and he was learning it for the first time.

Mom always wore little gold beads in her hair.

Those were her favourite pair of earrings.

She planned out the castle gardens, with those hedges over there.

Soren, even, citing that she was his first sword-fighting teacher back when she'd been captain of the guard, before she and Ez's dad had fallen in love.

Her birthday is always hard, an added winter chill growing throughout the castle. Ezran ensures more fires are lit, and Claudia enchants little glass jars of orange light with her Sun primal, for people to carry in their pockets to keep them warm. He dons his more heavily furred royal cape and keeps Bait close while he writes letters to his brother and Rayla in Xadia, climbing the cold steps up to the rookery to send them.

Claudia joins him more often than not in his study, to save on candles, she says, as they do their work long into the night, but Ezran thinks she just likes his company, his heart doing a hopeful little dance in his chest. He steals glances at her atop the rim of candlelight dancing in her green eyes, now with that spark of light in them that'd been gone for so long during the war. After the war, too.

"You know," he begins, when they're heading to the study after lunch, "we could go to the library. The fireplace there is warmer. There's more comfortable chairs."

We used to always sit up in the library when it got cold, his dad had said, and Callum would play on the floor with you in your mom's lap.

Claudia thinks for a moment, then grins adorably. "Why not?" she says.

They settle in with tea and jelly tarts as an extra bonus, Claudia easing off her prosthetic and letting her stump be close to the fire; Ezran knows the cold makes the phantom pains worse this time of year. (Terry still sends over a herbal remedy that helps with it from where he's set up an apothecary on the border of Del Bar and Katolis with Corvus.)

More of her dyed black hair falls in front of her ears while she works, making notes on charts for what magical goods will be imported once the ice melts, and Claudia pushes it back impatiently until she sits back and begins braiding it. It's still shorter than it was in their teens, no longer all the way down her back, but long enough to braid as she starts the process, fingers jolting.

Dark magic took a lot from her, but one of the things it left was permanent nerve damage in her hands. (The cold makes that worse, too.)

"My mom used to do that," Ez half-remembers, half-recalls. Another story about the differences from their royal portrait—the one real non-Callum produced picture of their mother he has, the way he pictures her in his mind's eye—and how she'd worn her hair in a braid just as often loose or in a bun.

Claudia smiles then, softly. "She did. She's actually the one who taught me, after..." Lissa, another woman Ezran has never really met, isn't a wound anymore, but it's still hard during this time of year. "After my mom left and I grew my hair out."

Ezran sets aside his letter to an Evenerean diplomat, rising when she struggles again. "I can do that for you, if you like."

"Oh. You don't—"

He steps around easily to stand behind her armchair. "Let me?"

Claudia turns to the front fully, exhaling. "Alright."

He gathers her hair gently, hands confident due to the way his father had shown him him growing up, but styled a bit more the way Moonshadows do their braids, like how Rayla had demonstrated. For love and affection, she'd said, having small, long ones tucked away behind thicker locks for each of them—Callum and Ez and Soren, her boys, and then for each of her parents.

"There," Ezran says, finishing. He takes off his cape too for good measure, and drapes it across her shoulders. Claudia is looking at him wide-eyed when he walks back around to face her, and he passes a hand self-consciously over the patch of hair he's growing on his chin.

"Thank you," she says at least, tugging his cape further over her shoulder. The royal red brings out the green of her eyes and black of her hair. It suits her.

"Don't mention it," Ezran says, sitting again. They catch each other's eye, briefly, and share a smile, before she blushes a bit and looks away.

He feels warm for the first time all day.

#claudiez #tdp #tdp ezran #the royal family of katolis #thanks for asking #ficlet #fic #my fic #headcanons #anon ur braver than any us marine #anyway claudiez naming their first kid sarai ii bc claudia can actually remember her #AND bc ezran is Sarai's Son too as much as he's harrow's legacy wise is #so important to me #dunnno if i like how this came out but listen i tried #i'M RUSTY

[incaseyouart]

Top 5 Life lessons you've learned that you feel comfortable sharing?

People's negative/difficult behaviour is most often NOT because of you. If someone reacts to your "normal" behaviour negatively, or brashly, more often than not that person is hurting in some way. This realization can help smooth out interactions with say, parents, or friends seemingly always going through tough times. I.e I don't have a great relationship with my mom - I never have and I never will - and almost everything she says to me is negative and hurtful, but I realized a long time ago it's because she's hurting about a lot of things, and will likely never put effort forth to fix those things, and therefore uses me as an outlet. I can tolerate being around her because how she behaves is not related to me, but herself. So, try your best to live your life and help those around you, but try not to take brash reactions personally.

Expect nothing and appreciate everything. Super impossibly difficult to do, I know, but it does help in a lot of cases. Part of the human condition makes us arbitrarily expect certain outcomes, or quality of outcomes, with almost no context in which to set those expectations, and then when they're not met, we're disappointed or sometimes even angry. It's hard to go through life, with its many patterns, without some expectations, but when an experience is NOVEL, try not to set any expectations. Simplest example: you enter an entirely new building, and press the "up" button on the elevator, and expect said elevator to arrive promptly. It doesn't. You're now frustrated and impatient. The elevator works independently of you, and cannot know your expectation of its performance. Just be patient and appreciate when it does arrive.

Avoid being a people-pleaser and respect social boundaries. I grew up with emotionally neglectful parents, and am always trying to please people to get positive attention. But, more often than not, I've realized this just makes me appear pushy/needy/clingy, and I think my relationships are more important than they actually are. Example: I have a co-worker with whom I assumed I shared a close friendship, but I am realizing he doesn't really see us as close friends. This ties in with my expectations as well; I expect him to feel what I feel, but he doesn't, and he never will, and I often catch myself pushing for more from him. It's just going to drive him away. I need to be generous with myself but at the same time respect his boundaries. If people really love you they'll come to you, and everyone wins.

The word "FAIL" means "First Attempt In Learning". I was raised with one parent who often told me that "my best isn't good enough", and therefore when it came to school, my standard of failing was 80%. That was super unhealthy. When I got to animation school, the programs were much more difficult and I had to strangle my standards down to the regular 50%. I then accepted that sometimes yes, you might fail, but it's not the end of the world. Adjusting my standard from 80% to 50% actually gave me the space to have a healthy work/life balance and allowed me to be more successful with the subjects I cared about.

Life is too short to not be a bit selfish. Honestly, you can't care about everything. It's too stressful. This ties in with my people-pleasing personality trait, in that I used to (and still do) try to make everyone around me happy, or just try to include everything in my worry-bank (like even as I type this I'm hoping I don't offend anyone etc) but like?? "Those who worry unnecessarily will unneccessarily worry" (I forget who said that) and it's true. Don't be selfish in a BAD way, but try to limit your scope of worrying. Strike a healthy balance and worry about what you CAN fix.

Whew that got deep lol. I hope someone out there appreciates this!