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#she’s often so omitted by everyone
ratective · 1 year
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honestly why are there literally no trans garnet fics it seems so criminal and unfair
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seffius · 4 months
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Thinking about how nopixel cops actually have a really interesting advantage over the general population of los santos where they can just extract any amount of information they want and most people won't object to it. Like IRL obviously you're not supposed to talk to cops before you speak with an attorney but not only could refusing to talk to a cop technically be failrp but it would also result in content loss. Now, cop characters are ALWAYS going to take advantage of people's ignorance of their rights but the players behind these characters also have the opportunity to take advantage of people's willingness to "yes, and" any scenario to interrogate anyone they want to get whatever it is they're looking for. (Unless we're looking at a severe enough crime or a knowledgeable enough character, ofc)
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longing-for-rain · 7 months
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what exactly is Aang's toxic masculinity that you're talking about? there are no examples of such behavior on his part in the show. he is not an ideal person, he is a child who sometimes behaved incorrectly, just like all the other children in the show (Katara, Toph, Sokka), and this is normal.
in addition, we see how he regrets some of his wrong actions and gets better, while Zuko does not regret his toxic behavior, doesn't apologize and doesn't face the consequences of his behavior (racist jokes about Aang, demands that Katara forgive him as if he has the right to her forgiveness, an attack on Aang to "teach him a lesson" and many other things).
Hi anon, thanks for the ask! This is a very good illustration of what I was talking about in this post when I mentioned that I feel toxic men are overlooked more often for appearing “nice” than they are for being conventionally attractive.
No examples of toxic behavior in the show? What do you call this then?
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I know what I (and the law) call it:
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But you see, he’s “nice” right? This is just a misbehaved child, as you put it? Yah, no. He knew better and still did it because he was possessive; this whole interaction started because he was jealous that an actress playing Katara was interested in men other than him. And the show proceeded to frame the situation in a way that made Aang sympathetic, despite being the aggressor and the one behaving irrationally. How much more “toxically masculine” can you get than that? But he put on a flower crown once so we’re supposed to think he’s a soft uwu feminine boi (even though he was absolutely enraged that a female actress played him).
I also find it very interesting that you describe Katara and Sokka as “children” while Zuko is omitted from that list despite being the same age. Are you admitting you agree he’s more mature, or are you admitting that you hold him to different standards?
But, anyways. You asked about toxic behavior on Aang’s part, which I’ll get further into now that the most egregious example is out of the way.
Let’s break down what you consider unforgivably toxic behavior on Zuko’s part and compare it to Aang’s behavior in similar situations.
1. “Racist” jokes
I’m guessing this is made with reference to the “Air Temple preschool” comment. How exactly is this racist? In context, Aang is the one trying to force his beliefs on others, and Zuko makes this comment to a) tell him to back off and b) point out that Aang is, in fact, a child who doesn’t have any business telling Katara how to feel.
This point is particularly interesting to me, because it implies that the simple fact that Zuko doesn’t agree with the philosophy of Aang’s culture makes him racist. By this logic, Aang is also racist against Katara’s culture, because he clearly disagrees with her philosophy and is openly telling her that his culture is morally virtuous over hers. And well. That’s even more believable considering Aang’s previous reactions to Water Tribe culture.
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Ah, yes. Playing with a cultural artifact like it’s a toy because you were upset about not being the center of attention for once, and telling everyone how disgusting you think cultural food is, what great ways to show the supposed love of your life how much you respect her culture!
I know your response to this point would be something like “uwu but he’s a kid he didn’t knowww” ok well. The same logic can be applied to any alleged “racism” on Zuko’s part.
2. “Demanding” forgiveness
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Zuko: What can I do to make it up to you?
Ah, yes. How demanding of him. He’s clearly so self-centered and only thinking about his own values and agenda here.
It’s not like he…
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…told his friend how she’s allowed to process her grief and try to impose his own morals…
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…or demanded to know if his crush liked him back, wouldn’t accept “no” as an answer, and forced a kiss on her…
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…or told an abuse victim he was wrong to want to kill his abusive father for trying to commit a genocide…
…oh, um. Yeah. Sorry, but after actually watching the show it’s very clear to me which character doesn’t seem to regret or see the flaws in any of his actions at the end of the show, which is when all of these examples took place.
3. Training in the finale
“Attacking Aang to teach him a lesson” … wow, that’s a very dishonest way of phrasing that situation. I’m impressed, I have to say. I’ve seen lots of dumb takes from Aang stans over the years but this is a new one.
Well, luckily I actually watched the scene in context, so my reaction was the same as all the other characters’ reactions in canon when they learned the context behind this “attack”:
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They agree with him. Yeah. Obviously, when nobody is taking training seriously when the world is about to literally go up in flames, you might need to do something to get their attention.
“But it was dangerous!” you might argue. Well… yeah. When magic and bending is in the equation, training in the Avatar universe has been shown to be somewhat dangerous at times. As an example, from this very same episode, Toph very nearly smashed Sokka with a giant flaming rock. That was way closer to hurting someone than Zuko was in this incident. If you’re going to fault characters for making their training exercises too dangerous, I guess Toph is mega cancelled.
Now back to Aang. What was his reaction in this situation? How did he react to the end of the world being days away? He ran away with absolutely no plan. Just like he did at the very beginning of the show.
I mean, think about it. This is a critical flaw (and toxic trait) in Aang that is literally never addressed, because he starts and ends the show the exact same way: he’s faced with a problem, he runs away from it, then he’s saved by an in-universe equivalent of an Act of God. Wowie, such great character development. Not fixing your core flaw and having a mythical plot device materialize into existence to solve your problems for you. Aang’s whole arc is a big blah, because the writing fails to address any of his flaws or have him meaningfully question any of his values.
Meanwhile, Zuko has consistently been a fan favorite because he’s the opposite. His flaws are meaningfully addressed, he does admit he’s wrong and fix his flaws, and his character shows a critically acclaimed change throughout the show. His arc is written so well that despite being a cartoon character, Zuko is widely considered the poster child for a good redemption arc across all forms of media.
So anyways, miss me with the double standards… there is a reason why Zuko is the fan favorite, and it’s not just his abs 🔥
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thebestofoneshots · 3 months
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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
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Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.9 K Warnings: None Prompt: Slug Party goes awry... This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp
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Chapter 36: Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy
December, 21st, 1976
Remus wasn’t sure what he should wear to the party. He had sent a letter to his parents telling them about the invitation. He had omitted it had been you who invited him rather than Slughorn, and his father seemed pretty thrilled about his son being a member of the Slug club. 
Lyall wasn’t the kind of parent to be strict with his child’s grades, not in a literal sense at least, regardless he would very often tell Remus how important it was that he was among the best, and that being able to study magic at Hogwarts had been a privilege to him. That it only happened because of how lucky he’d gotten, and that he should be thankful to Dumbledore for giving him the opportunity and that the best way of proving his gratitude would be to be exceptionally good at his studies. 
Especially because, when he eventually joined the Registry of Magical Creatures, the only thing he’d have to prove his worth as a wizard would be his academic achievements. If Remus did badly in his studies, his father wouldn’t be angry, rather he’d be disappointed, and Remus hated disappointing people. So while there wasn’t actually a pressure put on his shoulder by his father, there was a pressure set by himself, one to make sure he’d keep his father content and proud. 
In the end, his father had only cornered Remus into pressuring himself. Of course, Lyall didn’t know this, nor did Hope, they thought their child was perfect just because he was, while Remus sometimes felt the need to put an extra effort to fulfil their expectations. Everyone’s expectations. Sometimes he wished he could be more like Sirius, careless and loud but he couldn’t give himself such a luxury, perhaps that’s why he was so attracted to him.
At least it wasn’t that hard, Remus was already clever and being friends with the other Marauders and Lily had helped him to strengthen his abilities from the very beginning, making him a better wizard than he ever would have been without them. And recently, you as well, you were making him a better wizard too, even if he always felt awfully selfish for wanting you, and your godric-damned gorgeous boyfriend.
Remus was still rummaging through his trunk trying to find something nice. His father had told him that he had to wear something elegant, preferably his suit, but Remus had no idea where the hell he had placed it. Hope, on the other hand, had written to tell him that he should pay his father no mind and that those silly elitist wizard parties –which she had concluded was what they were (accurately) after Lyall told her about them– shouldn’t be worrying him too much. She did ask him who he’d be inviting, and he had responded he’d be going with you. 
Lyall and Hope already knew about you, they knew you had arrived at school and Remus had mentioned that you had become close. Hope had mentioned at some point that he should ask you on a date, but Remus responded to her letter by telling her you were going out with Sirius, which Hope didn’t seem to understand. Especially when some of the things Remus had described in his letters were the kinds of things a girl who was very much in love with her son would do. Of course, Hope knew nothing more than the few things that Remus had said in his letters, about how kind you were, how funny you were, and how you were an incredibly talented witch. And yet, somehow she clearly knew better than all of you combined. 
Now, Hope knew how close Remus was to Sirius and she was not about to tell him to pursue you, but she definitely expected to have a small chat with him once they met again in New Year. Remus had chosen to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas, to recover after the moon. She wasn’t too happy about that, she’d much prefer having her son with her during the moon, but Lyall insisted that Remus wasn’t the small wolf she had taken care of in the past, though still incredibly dangerous, the wolf had been a lot easier to control. 
Besides, Remus much preferred staying at Hogwarts now, the Shrieking Shack, even if still a cage, was much bigger than the small silver-coated cage they had at home, which while absolutely safe, was also incredibly painful for Moony, and caused much more desperate clawing from the wolf which in turn, left Remus a lot worse off. 
“What’s with the sour face?” James asked when he spotted Remus kneeling on the floor looking defeated. 
The boy huffed in response, “I can’t find the fucking suit.” 
“You’re going with a suit?” 
“You’re not?!” 
“Should I?” 
“Of course! It’s a Christmas Party, James!” 
“You think Lily will wear an elegant dress?” He asked, “Oh I should ask what colour it is so I can match with her.” 
Remus almost rolled his eyes as he leaned down and started looking through his trunk again, “Vixen might not be here, but even I can tell you how much of a terrible idea that is…” 
“It’s a grand gesture, mate! You don’t understand romance.” 
“I’ve had more dates than you ever have,” Remus defended. 
“And yet… you’ve never had a girlfriend. Because you don’t do grand gestures.” 
Remus huffed again, sure next time he’ll match Sirius’s fucking outfit and hope he does not get punched in the face. He wasn’t sure if Sirius or you would be the one to throw fists first thought. He kept moving things around on his trunk before sitting back with an annoyed sigh. “No fucking suit.” 
“I can lend you something,” James said with a shrug and pulled out a dark blue pair of pants, waistcoat and matching long gown. “Just find a shirt and tie that matches,” the boy said with a shrug. 
“You think these will fit?” Remus asked as he gave them a weary look. 
“You can charm them to fit better if you want,” James said with a shrug. Remus kept looking at them wearily but nodded and placed them on his bed. 
Sirius, who had been off somewhere, appeared shortly after Remus stepped out of the showers, and James got in.
“You ready?” he asked, even if he could clearly see Remus still had a towel slung across his waist. 
“Yeah, I was planning to go like this and moon everyone when it was time to dance,” Remus replied sarcastically, he was a little touchy. Probably because of how close the moon was and because of how much time he had wasted trying to find something to wear. 
“Ugh Pissy Moony,” Sirus said with a grimace as he sat on Remus’ bed and took a look at James’ suit. He easily figured James had borrowed it and felt a pang of jealousy over the fact that Remus would ask James for help instead of him. Or perhaps it was because Moony would wear James’ clothes instead of something from him. Then again, it was a dumb thing to be jealous about, Sirius’ tailored clothes wouldn’t fit Remus at all. Sirius was shorter and skinnier. Still, he wasn’t too happy about it, he realised as he passed his hand over the soft blue fabric. “What will you be wearing with this?”
Remus shrugged in response, “White shirt, some tie that matches I guess.” 
Sirius didn’t seem convinced, “I’ll find you something,” he said as he kneeled down next to the boy’s dresser and started looking through his drawers. 
“Sirius,” Remus called, but he was too focused on the dresser to realise. “Sirius!” He repeated, a little louder this time. 
Sirius just hummed in response, turning his head to look at the other boy as he leaned back a little, a casual thing Sirius would do rather often that made Remus gulp, he looked beautiful, as fucking always. Remus had been about to tell the boy that he should mind his own fucking business, but there was no way to tell him that now. 
“Just… pass me my briefs, will you?” 
Sirius, without even turning, pulled the top left drawer, grabbed a pair and threw it back to Remus “There you go,” he said simply and went back to looking through Remus’ stuff. Remus sighed and continued getting dressed, passing the briefs under the towel before taking it off. “What do you think Starshine will wear?” 
The other boy shrugged, “A dress or something I suppose, she knows a good deal of magic etiquette.” 
“Bet she’ll look hot.” 
Remus didn’t respond to that, it wasn’t like he could just agree with Sirius out loud, “She’ll dress nicely I assume.” 
“Oh, this is great!” Sirius said as he pulled out a dark navy shirt, just slightly lighter than the suit James had borrowed. 
“So dark?” Remus asked as he leaned over, he was already wearing the pants James had borrowed, they were a little tight but they fit him well, Sirius noticed. 
“Yeah! This shirt looks dashing on you mate! It’s the one you wore to the Christmas Party last year.” 
Remus did not remember that fact out of the bat, so he had to think back and try to remember exactly what he had worn that day at the Potters. They had sneaked out some alcohol from Monty’s collection –Monty knew, but pretended not to notice– and then they had all sneaked into James’ room and drank until they were too pissed to remember much of the rest of the night.
Sirius, on the other hand, remembered the exact outfit Remus had worn, first because he thought Remus looked incredible with that shirt and wondered why he didn't wear it more often, and second, because when Peter had dared Remus to take off his shirt, he had complied, and Sirius had found it at some point and used it as his pillow for the rest of the night. He thought it also smelled nice. 
“I guess you’re right,” Remus said with a small frown, still trying to remember the shirt as Sirius stood and placed it on the bed, passing his wand over it with a quick straightening spell to make it look as neat as he remembered it had looked on Remus. It was then that Sirius started thinking of the fact that, while he clearly remembered what Remus had worn perfectly, he couldn’t quite recall what either Peter or James had been wearing. 
“Done,” Sirius said once he placed his wand back in his pocket and gently passed the unbuttoned shirt to Remus, stepping back when he realised he was about to help him button it. 
“Thanks, mate,” Remus said and grabbed the shirt to put it on. Sirius sat back down on Remus’ bed as his friend finished getting his shirt on. And then passed him the waistcoat. Sirius realised, almost a little too late, that he was most definitely checking Remus out while he did. “Does it look bad?” 
“What? No, why?” Sirius said, a little caught off guard. 
“You’ve been staring?” 
Have I? Fuck I have. “Just thinking of what tie you can wear with it,” Sirius said, hoping it was convincing enough.
“Oh,” Remus replied simply as he pulled the coat on, while it was on the tighter side, it wasn’t uncomfortably so, and the colour did nicely suit him. He was about to ask Sirius if he thought you’d like it and realised what a terrible idea that was, so he just shut his mouth. “Which tie?” 
Sirius seemed to be taken aback by the question but then nodded and went to his trunk. He was sure to have some ties somewhere, he did not remember taking them out before the whole chaos at home and his trunk had ended up being delivered to the Potters along with a note that said that he was a bIood traitor and that he was no longer welcomed at home. It was a house though, that had never been his home. 
Sirius kept looking until he found a thick tie that shifted in colour as he took it from his trunk. First, it was blue, then it was brown, and then it was something between burgundy and purple. Remus raised one of his eyebrows “A magic tie?” 
Sirius shrugged, “It’ll match your outfit… or Starshine’s, sometimes she’s whimsical like that?” 
“Your girlfriend?” 
“The tie,” Sirius clarified. 
Remus groaned, “James is so gonna tease me about it,” he said as he placed his hand over his head. Sirius approached him and slid the tie across his friend’s neck, carefully raising the collar and letting his fingers brush over Remus’ neck only for a second before going back to his thing. He tried not to think of the shiver he felt from how warm Remus was. Had touching him always felt like that? “I know how to tie a tie,” Remus said as he observed Sirius. The shorter boy was deeply focused on his task. 
“Yeah, but you don’t have a clue how to do an Eldredge Knot, do you?” 
Remus scoffed, while he had no idea what an Eldredge Knot looked like, let alone how to do it, he was also a little offended that Sirius would just assume he didn’t.  “Well maybe I do,” he said as he grabbed onto the tie, his hands over Sirius’ as he tried to shake him away, but the boy didn’t budge. The way Remus’ hands wrapped around his made him think of yours, and then compare, his were larger, they felt nice around his own. 
But Sirius was really trying not to focus on said things. “Come on Moons, let me help,” he said simply, looking up at Remus’ eyes. He could see Sirius’ thick black lashes and he fought hard not to gulp from how close they were. 
“Whatever,” Remus said as he took his hands from Sirius and let them fall on his side, placing them on his pockets right after since he had no idea what to do with them. Sirius continued his task, while Remus tried to look anywhere but at him, at his slightly furrowed brows, and his cute little mouth with his lips pressed in a thin line as he breathed slowly. Why did he have to go and be so ridiculously pretty? Remus wondered as he gave him a short glance and then looked away again. Sirius was taking a hell of a lot of time with his damned tie. “You done?” 
“Chist,” Sirius shushed him as he continued trying to focus, it was way easier when you did it to yourself than when you did it backwards. Remus started to slowly tap his foot, yet another way to distract him from how close Sirius stood. Close enough to feel his warm breath fan against his neck. 
“Hey Sirius…” The other boy hummed in response. “Thanks…”  
“’S what friends are for,” Sirius said simply, hands tightening the knot as he pulled back just a little to look at Moony. His gaze quickly forgetting the tie and focusing on his friend’s face. On his chocolaty brown eyes that looked a lot more golden today than normal. The moon was close, after all. Regardless, it was a good look on Remus. Sirius smiled, “You look handsome,” he said honestly, it rolled so naturally off his tongue, he was almost surprised he hadn’t said it to Remus more often. 
A blush started to creep up Remus’ neck when the door of their room opened, his head snapped to it and you stood there, looking at the two boys with a small smile. The two of them looking back at you. You had your hair down and wore a white, iridescent dress with lace on top, a turtle neck and a long-sleeved top that flared down at the bottom into a puffy skirt and fell down just before your ankles. You had a matching pair of shoes. The lace was delicate and had a star on the left shoulder and some other wind and sky motifs all around.
You looked like… the moon. Except Remus had never thought of the moon as pretty before. 
Sirius looked at you with a smile “Claire de Lune,” Sirius said affectionately. Remus didn’t even feel jealous at the way the other boy was looking at you, in fact, he was rather thankful Sirius was so focused on you and wasn’t paying attention to him or the way he was looking at you. 
You smiled at Sirius praising, “Thought I was Starshine,” you teased with a smile, twirling around and letting the dress flow, the iridescence being a lot more evident. “Comet helped me charm it,” you explained, “kind of like her dress at the Halloween party.” 
Remus’ tie had already become the same shade of iridescent white. “You look delightful, I’m almost jealous it’ll be Moony the one to parade you around instead of me,” Sirius said as he walked closer to you, placing his hand on yours and twirling you around once more. You laughed but let him have his fun, especially since he wasn’t going to go to the party. Remus stared at the two of you dancing around to no music and smiled, James came out of the bathroom all dressed up shortly after. 
“Looking great Moony,” he said when he spotted Remus, “you too Vix.” 
“Thanks,” you said while Sirius stopped the dancing to look at James reproachfully. 
“Way to leave your handsomest friend out.” 
“You’re not dressed up,” James said simply, “You look exactly the same as every day… maybe a little scruffy,” James added with a smirk, he knew he’d piss Sirius off. “Hair’s a little messy,” he added as he pointed at his head. 
Sirius gasped and was about to respond when you took his face in your hands and dragged him to look at you, pulling one stray hair and placing it back on its spot “Well, I think you look handsome.” 
“She’s lying to make you feel better,” James insisted. 
“I’ll get Lily to hex you, James,” you warned, the messy-haired boy took a step back, as if genuinely scared of your friendly threat.
Sirius gave you a small satisfied smile before leaning in to steal a short kiss from your lips. 
“Ugh, get a room!” James complained. 
“Find a different place to change,” Sirius retorted as he leaned again to kiss you again, partly because he could never get enough of you, partly because your lips helped him forget the weird feeling he was getting whenever he was around Remus alone and partly to spite James. “Moony doesn’t mind, right Moons?” 
Remus really tried not to choke at that, “Not at all,” he managed to say. 
“See, it only is a you problem,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I won’t be telling you to get a room whenever you bring Lily over to snog.” 
“We’ve never snogged here though,” you clarified. Sirius gave James an exaggerated wink and you elbowed him when you realised. Remus couldn’t help but laugh at your dynamic. 
“Ready, Little Witch?” he asked politely. 
You turned to him with a smile, same smile you had when you were looking at Sirius, only now being less entertained by your boyfriend and noticing how handsome your friend looked. “When you are,” you said simply.  Remus walked closer to you and tilted his head, an invitation for you to follow behind him. 
“I want her back before 12,” Sirius joked pointing at Remus.
You laughed before Remus had the chance to say anything “Sure thing, and I want you to stay out of trouble for a whole week, but neither of us will get what we wish, will we?” 
“I could stay out of trouble for a week!” Sirius scoffed, slightly offended. 
You raised your eyebrows at that statement and eyed Remus. “Has he ever?” 
Remus shook his head , lips pressed tightly before he added, “Nope.” 
“Remus!” Sirius whined. 
“Just stating the facts,” Remus replied with a shrug, a diverted shine in his eyes as he stared at his beautiful best friend.  
“Ugh! Stop flirting, you’re all making me feel lonelier,” James said as he threw a pillow at the three of you. 
“Oi!” you said as you straightened your clothes. “You’ll ruin my dress…” you added with a frown. 
“Yeah James, stop messing with her. How would you feel if I go around throwing pillows at Evans,” Sirius defended. 
“She’d hex you,” James responded with a shrug. 
“Perhaps I should hex you,” you said under your breath while Remus laughed. “You’re lucky we’re friends.”
James threw a wink your way and you grumbled something about throwing him off his broom. Sirius took the fact that you were busy still straightening your clothes to pick a piece of pillow fluff that had fallen on Remus’ coat. The boy straightened slightly at the way Sirius closed the gap between the two of them. “What?” he asked, looking at Sirius almost warily, he didn’t want to admit the way his heart would race at Sirius so much as stepping into his personal space like that. 
The shorter boy just grabbed the fluff and showed it to Remus, moving his hand from side to side before blowing it away. You finally lifted your head, almost curiously looking at the way Remus was staring at Sirius, and then at the way Sirius was staring back. You tilted your head, it was oddly familiar, but you just couldn’t quite pinpoint why. You narrowed your eyes at the two, the connections in your brain happening at lightning speed only to be interrupted by an urgent knock on the door, everyone turned their heads towards it and then at each other as if wondering if they had invited anyone over. 
“James! We’re gonna be late,” Lily’s voice said from the other side of the door. You walked over and opened the door, letting her in. 
“Oh, hey luv, I’ve actually brought this over for you, thought it would go with your dress,” She said as she handed over the moon and star ring your mom had given you a while ago, Remus took a step back, looking at Lily almost offended. She was wearing a green dress that looked delightful with her hair, James pretty much gaped at her as she was putting on a pair of jade earrings that matched the dress, not even noticing the way he was staring.
“Shut your mouth mate, you’ll get lacewing flies,” Sirius teased. Lily, who had not noticed James staring turned almost as red as her hair as she turned to look at James and their eyes locked for a second. 
“I’ve seen you gape at Vixen way more times than I can count…” James started to complain.
You weren’t listening anymore, their bickering fading into the background when you took the ring from your palm and placed it on your finger, only then realising that Remus was looking to the side rather dejected, “You’re…” he fucking hated having to ask, “you’re not actually gonna wear that, right?” 
You turned to him slightly confused at first and then smiled, something akin to a smirk, and extended your hand towards him “Give me your hand.” Remus tilted his head to the side reproachfully, trying to tell you that of course he fucking couldn’t, even if he wanted to, without having to say “I’m a werewolf, I can’t” out loud. 
Even then you kept your hand up, “Trust me,” you added confidently. Remus seemed hesitant but did as told, tentatively placing his fingers over yours, avoiding touching the ring entirely. It was merely a brush of his fingers over your hand, and he was about ready to pull away when you pushed your hand forwards and yanked his, grabbing firmly onto it. He tried to pull back, wincing, as if ready to feel the stinging of the metal, eyes closed and a deep frown etched on his face. And then, it cleared, slowly as he eyed you, then both of your hands, his brows furrowing again, this time it was softer, his eyes were searching, turning both of your hands around as if to make sure it was the same ring. 
When he was sure it was, he dug his fingers closer to yours, feeling the ring from the back and then bringing in his other hand, brushing over your knuckles before letting them fall over the ring. “We transfigured it,” you said proudly. “I asked Lily and Pete to help me, since both Sirius and I had hurt you with it, I thought it was the right thing to do. Took us weeks to get it right.” 
“Weeks…” Remus repeated, still fascinated over the fact that he could touch the ring, or perhaps he was fascinated more by the way your small hand looked next to his. Of course, he had held your hand before, but it had always been in situations in which it was either dark, you were running, or you had something else to pay attention to, never had Remus actually seen it. So much smaller in comparison to his, so much softer and smoother. There was a bit of hardened skin near your thumb from how hard you gripped your quill sometimes and there were also fading broom marks in the top part of your palm, whatever potion Sirius had given you was erasing them quickly. 
You nodded, also paying attention to the way your hands looked next to each other. Sirius’ hands were large, perhaps as large as Remus’, but there was something about the way Remus held your hands, almost venerating, that made you just as curious as it seemed to make him, of course, you assumed he was just fascinated by the fact that he could touch the ring now. “It’s stainless steel,” you explained, “absolutely harmless, like the charm on the necklace Peter made,” you added with another prideful smile. 
He smiled almost shyly and felt silly at the fact that he had been worried before, of course, you’d never do anything that could hurt him (at least consciously), in fact, he now noticed that he hadn’t seen you wear the ring since that time at the infirmary when you had discovered he was a werewolf, he’d just assumed Sirius hadn’t given it back yet. 
“Oh, he’s seen the ring?” Sirius asked, only now finishing his bickering with James and leaning his chin on your shoulder as he stared at Remus’ hands holding yours, he thought it looked right. “I take it, it worked?” 
You nodded and hummed in reply, beaming proudly at your achievement, “He knew?” breaking his sight away from your hands and looking straight at Sirius. He looked unfairly adorable, the two of you did. Remus still didn’t remove his hands from yours, perhaps he was pushing it, but he didn’t care much if he was, he didn’t want to stop holding you. If Sirius could have his hands on your waist and his head perched on your shoulder, he could at least have your hand. He would be your date tonight either way. 
Only because Sirius didn’t want to go, a pesky little voice reminded him. 
But then again, Sirius would never pass up the opportunity to rub it on people’s faces that he was with you, let alone with the sight you were in that dress. Why was it he didn’t want to go again? He’d have to ask you later. 
“Sirius helped me swipe the metal transfiguration book from the restricted section,” you said with a smile, “he thought it was a brilliant idea when I told him about it, and that it could also help me practise transfiguration, it was the same Peter had used. Lily helped me confirm it wasn’t silver anymore with muggle science. Something about dension or something.”
“Density luv, we used Archimedes' principle,” she said before going back to her chat with James. 
“Muggle magic,” you said with a shrug, “Lily taught me the formulas to make the equations, but she always checked to make sure I was doing it correctly.” 
“So many muggle words in one sentence,” Sirius said as he shook his head and huffed. 
“You learned algebra and physics for this?” Remus asked, almost laughing as he pulled your hand up to show your ring. 
Sirius huffed, “Of course, Moony would know exactly what you were talking about.” 
“Mum taught me a lot of muggle stuff, they didn’t think I’d be allowed in Hogwarts,” Remus said, almost as a throw-off comment. “You bunch of purebloods would obviously have no idea what they are. Especially physics, since what we do here destroys most of their principles.” 
“Prove A, I changed the material of the ring,” you said with a smile. “Still, it was useful, we should be taught more muggle stuff…. Although, I do think that muggle ironsmith from your story could have used a good transfiguration spell.”
“You told her the story?” Remus asked with a frown, still holding your hand, though he was letting it hang a little more. 
“Of course, I told her the story! Last time I said eureka she was looking at me like I had just made up a word.” 
“Sounds like a spell,” Sirius said with a simple shrug and took his wand out, “do you think–” 
“NO!” Remus, Lily and you, all said at the same time. Remus had finally let go of your hand, raising both of his as a warning. 
Sirius seemed taken aback. “I tried it,” you explained, turning your face to him slightly. “Almost blew up our dorm.” The way his hair tickled your cheek felt oddly nice. 
“It’s Ancient Greek, it could mean anything,” Remus said with a shrug, “Not a great idea to infuse it with magic if you don’t know what you’re doing.” 
“You never told me about almost blowing up your room,” Sirius said with a raised eyebrow.
“We had it under control,” you responded with a shrug, “thought it’d be a funny story for another time.” 
“Pads, are you done hogging your girlfriend? We’ve got a party to attend to…” Prongs teased. 
“Go snog Lily and leave us alone,” Sirius said with a pout as he tightened his grip on your waist, fuck he looked adorable, the two of you did, Remus thought it really wasn’t fucking fair. 
“No one is snogging anyone here,” Lily said, almost scandalised. James pouted at her and she swatted him lightly. 
“Speak for yourself,” Sirius said as he pursed his lips your way in a rather exaggerated manner. You were laughing as you playfully tried to push him away. Remus sighed as he looked at the two, first wishing he was you, to be the one that Sirius tried to kiss, and then wishing he was Sirius, the one who had permission to hold you so tight and place kisses all over your face. 
Eventually, he tore his eyes from the two of you and eyed his watch, “We’ll be late. I may not know much about pure bIood and customs or whatever, but I’m sure being on time is important.” 
“Unless you’re fashionably late,” Sirius said, pressing one last kiss to your cheek and taking a step back, still keeping his hands on your shoulders. 
“There is no such thing,” you said, turning to Sirius. 
“Oh, there isn’t?” He asked with a smirk, almost innocently as he took a few steps back, “must have heard Walburga wrong when she was talking about it.” After he spoke, he allowed himself to fall on Remus’ bed again. It was the closest bed, but that wasn’t the reason. Sirius didn’t know why he would let himself lie on his friend’s bed instead of his, but sometimes it just felt warmer, and a lot more welcoming. Besides, it smelled rather nice.
Remus shook his head with a small smile, looking at Sirius diverted before turning his head back to you. You smiled at him and nodded towards the door, “Let’s get going.” 
As you walked to the door, Sirius raised his head a little to give you one last look “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” He said as he pointed at Sirius. 
You laughed “There isn’t much you wouldn’t do.” 
Lily, James, Remus and you arrived at the party shortly after, you hadn’t rushed much, since really it wasn’t that late, and even if you were happy to attend the party, you did not want to be the first people to arrive. 
They had used a room of the castle that you weren’t sure you’d ever visited. There were curtains draped all over the place, making the room look like the luxurious tent of an Arabian prince and you peeked your head inside before crossing the door, Remus followed behind. Lily and James walked next to each other and one of the waiters who you identified as Johnny Ackley stopped them in their tracks.
“You must kiss,” he said looking at your friends as he extended a silver tray your way. You leaned in and hovered your hand over one of the treats as Lily looked at him puzzled. “You stepped under the mistletoe,” he said simply, “It’s tradition.” 
“What?” Lily asked, a little shocked.
You eyed Remus, a devilish smile drawing on your lips as you pulled your hand slightly back from the treats and looked at your friends, “Oh yes, very important wizarding tradition, isn’t it Rem?” 
Remus held back his amused look as best as he could and nodded, “Definitely,” he agreed. 
Lily looked at you with pleading eyes and you gave her a wink. You knew she had enjoyed kissing James, she had told you how she’d done it on their date and also how she had “almost snogged” James a few nights ago. Now you weren’t sure what exactly Lily meant by “almost”, but you knew she had kissed James several times. And you also knew James would probably love the opportunity to kiss her in front of everyone. Were you being a better friend to James than you were to Lily at that moment? Maybe, but that didn’t stop you from adding a simple, “I’m sorry Lils, it’s part of the party traditions.” 
She narrowed her eyes at you and you just nodded with the same devilish smile as earlier. She huffed, defeated by the three of you, and placed her hand on James’ shoulder, who seemed just slightly surprised she’d actually go through with it. James had never kissed Lily in public, in fact, he wasn’t even sure people knew they were going out, outside of your very close friend group. Still, he leaned down at Lily’s command. And he calls Sirius a lap dog, Remus thought with a smile. Seeing James finally happy with Lily was oddly satisfying, probably what he should feel when he saw Sirius with you, but just couldn’t.
Eventually, they both kissed, a small peck at first but James leaned closer and placed his hand on Lily’s waist, while she took his head in her hands. You gave Rem a rather impressed look, and grabbed onto one of the treats. “I wouldn’t take that one,” Ackley said, “gives bad breath.” 
You narrowed your eyes and hovered over your hand on top of a different one, he shook his head, as if he knew something of that one in particular that you didn’t. You hovered your hand to a different-looking one and he nodded. You smiled and winked at him as you grabbed it, “What does this one do?” you asked as you leaned closer to him.
“It’s one of three that don’t have prank potions, and it’s actually tasty.” 
“Oh, so you’re here only to cause trouble?” you asked with a smile.
“I’m always around to cause trouble,” he responded, gave you a courteous look, and went somewhere else. 
You noticed Remus lean over, as if he too wanted one of the treats, but Ackley had already left, so you leaned closer to him. “Want some?” you asked as you raised your hand. 
“Well- I…” 
You gently leaned your hand towards his mouth, “It’s good, no potions or tricks,” you said, “At least according to Johnny.” 
He raised a questioning eyebrow at that but opened his mouth either way. You were halfway feeding him when you heard someone clear their throat rather loudly from behind Lily and James. You gave Remus a look and the two of you turned to look that way, the little treat still in your hand. 
“Would you mind snogging at a different place?” You heard Severus say in his infuriatingly slow voice as he pretty much pushed his way past James, who stumbled forward into Lily. Severus scoffed, and you stared daggers his way. 
“Mind your own damn business and leave the young couple alone,” you said stepping in front of him, “there was mistletoe.”
He merely raised an eyebrow all toffee-nosed and snobbish, and then moved his gaze behind you, noticing Remus holding his stance just a couple of steps back “Oh, so you left the wayward boyfriend at home and brought in the dangerous one instead.” 
You clenched your teeth at that, not because he implied Remus was your boyfriend, which had definitely done something to the boy, but rather because he called him dangerous. “Snape, if you continue insulting my friends like that, you’ll learn who is actually dangerous between us,” you said as you took a few steps towards him. The slimy-headed boy was taller than you, even taller than Sirius, but you didn’t let that deter you. 
He held his stance “Is that a threat?” he asked as he coed his head. 
“It’s a fucking promise, Severus.” 
“I’m not scared of you.” 
“Well, you should be…” you added as you pulled back. 
“Go mind your own business, and leave us alone Snape,” Remus interceded in a rather conciliatory tone. 
“As if I wanted to hang out with mudbloods,” he looked at Lily, then nodded towards James and you, “BIood traitors and mixed-raced abominations,” he added the last bit looking straight at Moony. 
You missed the hurtful look in Lily’s eyes due to the shock after his first and second insult were used so casually, but it was the last bit that had your bIood boiling, instantly giving you the urge to hex him, hand itching to get to your wand, but you somehow managed to hold back and use your tongue instead of your magic to fight back; after all fae were known for their sharp as knife words. 
“The only thing that’s abominating here is your disgusting greasy hair, Severus. Do you even know what shampoo is?” He gave you a hateful look. And that’s when you threw the real jab– you scoffed with a despicable sneer and added, “To think you wanted Lily to like you back. Bet she wouldn’t go out with you even if you were the last person on earth.” 
Severus seemed to be taken aback by that, and Lily, who had been watching the whole scene with James after they managed to sort themselves out reacted, turning to you with a gasp, “(Y/N)!”. James tightened his grip on her shoulder reassuringly. 
“Am I lying?” you said simply as you turned to her. 
She gave you a pleading look, still trying to deal with the fact that Severus had called her a Mudblood again and the fact that her noble heart couldn’t quite let go of the friendship she had once shared with him, Lily didn’t want to hurt him either,  “I– well I…” 
You nodded, “There’s your answer,” you added turning your head back at Severus with a satisfied expression, he was looking at you coldly. “Go apparate somewhere where they actually want you.” And that last bit might have been overkill, “If such a place really exists.” 
“(Y/N)!” Lily said again. Severus took his wand out and pointed it at your face, completely riled up by your poisonous words. And she looked at him shocked “Severus!” she chided, trying to appease him.
You didn’t back up at all, and you didn’t motion to grab your wand either, just gave Severus the same look he’d given you earlier. Your head leaned back slightly, a daring look plastered all over your features. You heard Remus shift behind you, the boy was ready to push you out of the way if it was necessary. But then, something none of you would have ever expected happened. Evan Rosier walked over and placed his hand on Severus’ shoulder. 
You narrowed your eyes at him, but Rosier only pulled the other Slytherin and started to drag him away, “Come on Severus, Barty was looking for you,” he said as he took him away. 
You were about to respond to that when you felt Remus’ hand wrap around your arm, you turned your gaze to him and he gave you a simple warning look. 
“Yeah, listen to your perilous boyfriend little trollop,” Snape muttered loud enough for you to hear as he left, you snapped your head his way, jaw clenching, but Remus tightened his grip around your arm, his thumb rubbing soothing circles as he shook his head. You huffed, threw another hateful look his way but didn’t say more. 
Lily approached you with a rather hurt look “What the hell was that?” 
You were completely taken aback by that, “Pardon?” 
“You knew what you said would hurt him. And you used your words like weapons, he could have hexed you.” 
“I should have hexed him first,” you said and Lily gave you another reproachful look, “Lils he was being an asshole! Calling all of us those nasty things, you included!” 
Her face had that hurt look again, but she shook her head and focused her gaze on you again. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you have to stump to his level.” You let those words sink in, your eyes moving rapidly as you tried to process what she said, “it’s the most Slytherin thing I’ve ever seen you do. Did you even think how it might make me feel?” 
“I– I wasn’t… Lily, I would never–” 
“But you did,” she said, now looking more upset than angry, she shook her head with a huff and bit her tongue as if she knew she had probably used her own words like knives and had started to regret it after they came out of her mouth. “I’m going for some punch,” she added and walked towards the furthest wall. 
James looked at you, an apologetic expression on his face, “You okay Vix?” Remus placed his hand on your shoulder. 
“Yeah I’m–” you cut yourself off, “you should go check on Lily.”
“But–” 
“She’s upset James, you heard what he called her. I can’t go after her but you should.” 
He leaned his head to the side, as if contemplating his options and then looked at Remus who nodded, James mirrored his actions and ran behind Lily. As you saw his messy hair disappear in between the curtains you let out a long sigh. 
Remus was looking at you and saw you shake your head as if you were contemplating whether to say something or not and then, you turned to him, “You still want some?” you said as you offered the treat still in your hands. He gave you a look, eyebrows raised. “What?” 
“You’re just going to pretend all that didn’t happen?” 
You swallowed, “I don’t want to talk about it…” you said as you avoided his gaze, he gave you some time, still looking at you and you sighed again, “Was I really that much of a Slytherin?” 
Remus sighed himself, “You’ve always had bite, I don’t think that makes you any less of a Gryffindor.” 
“But I upset her…” you said with a huff, “and the hat did consider me putting me in Slytherin, and you all say I’m cunning and–”
“Hey,” he said calmly, easily getting your attention, “Lily was upset–” 
“Because I upset her!” 
Remus gave you a look, “Lily was upset because Severus was being a prick. And then you said something that upset her even further. And while I do think you would have been brilliant Slytherin,“ your gaze fell, “that’s because I think you would have been brilliant in whichever house the hat put you in. You’re smart and loyal and cunning,” he said calmly, shaking your shoulder just enough for you to look at him “but you know what?” he leaned down to catch your gaze, “I’ve never met someone as stupidly brave as you.” You smiled, finally looking at him. “Well, perhaps James, but… we all know he’s a bit more stupid than he is brave,” he said the last bit in a whisper, sure that it would make you laugh. 
You smiled, “Oh Remus…” you added, dragging the e from his name, “I’ll keep those words stored in my brain to blackmail you one day,” you joked. 
“See, you would have thrived with the snakes,” he joked again and you punched him lightly, which just got him to laugh. Remus’ laugh was awfully contagious and you laughed alongside him.
“Still want some?” you asked as you raised the treat again. Remus huffed a laugh and nodded, opening his mouth again as you leaned the small snack to his face. He leaned forward just a little and gave it a bite, eating about half of it. 
“Mmm, it’s actually really good,” he said as he covered his mouth to speak. 
You shrugged and brought it to your own face, taking what he’d left and plopping it all in your mouth. You took a bit more time savouring it like he did, and then nodded, completely agreeing with him. Once you swallowed, you spoke again. “Delightful,” you said, “thought we should be careful with Ackley’s tray, he’s charmed a good deal of them.” And then you got an idea, “Actually…” 
Remus shook his head with a small, worried frown. “That’s your ‘I’ve got an idea’ face.” 
“Is it?” you asked with an innocent tone. 
“We’ll never get invited again if you cause havoc,” he whispered. 
“Oh Remus, we are not going to be the ones causing the havoc,” you said with a smirk. 
While Remus tried to be the reasonable one, he could not resist the way your lips curled up into a sly, very fox-like smile, nor could he resist the temptation that your eyes shone with. He had never been the biggest fan of religious tales, of temptation or whatnot. But if you were Eve, and you had been persuaded by the snake to take the forbidden fruit, and then you’d turned to him with that same look, he sure would have also forgotten all the rules any sort of god imposed on him and given the fruit a bite, not because of how tasty the forbidden fruit looked, but because of the way he might have expected to be looked at by you afterwards. He wouldn’t have just given it a bite, he would have gobbled it and then many more if that made you happy. Perhaps it was Moony more than Remus, but he thrived in the excitement of pleasing you, even if it was just this once. 
Yes, Remus always wanted approval and respect from Lyall, he wanted to make him proud, but he had never wanted to make anyone as proud as he wanted to make you feel at that particular moment. He had never felt that craving to satisfy someone else’s desires. Except perhaps, for every time Sirius gave him a similar look.
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A/N: Some people were asking for a snow day chapter, and this felt about the perfect time for it. Love playing in the snow with the boys <3 Upon some requests, we have a DISCORD server now and you can all join in and chat about marauders and/or GC with other lovely people. If you wanna discuss a new oneshot or even the new chapters of GC this is your place to go. The announcement for it is here and I'll leave links to it on a reblog of this post ad in the comments.
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nebulablakemurphy · 1 year
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Moves & Countermoves (Part 7)
Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.
Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
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“What’d you think? Should we climb it?” Tyson asks his district partner, teasingly.
She is two years his junior, still not an idiot. The giant pile of sand funneling in from the top of the arena is no hiking expedition. “No, we should save our strength, like Haymitch said.”
“Did you know the tallest mountain in the world was called Mount Everest? Before the founding of our great nation?” He presses on, largely ignoring Y/N’s sage advice.
“What do they call it now?” She wonders.
“Trick question; tallest mountain in the world was actually Mauna Kea.”
“Now’s a bad time for trivia.” Y/N decides, a hand at her brow to shield the blazing sun.
“It’s the only time we’ve got.”
Y/N startles awake, as she always does from dreams of him. Dreams of a stranger, who in under two weeks became her best friend. The games are funny that way, time moves differently there. People who standby you in the arena become closer than people you’ve known for years. The ones that haunt you forever.
She thinks of him often. Though Y/N never had a brother, she decided a long time ago, that is where Tyson fit. How he taunted and teased her, protected and loved her, all at the same time. And when she named her son Everest, sealing the tiniest drop of Tyson in her blood, Y/N found some peace with it. Giving new life to the boy who died so that she might live.
When she hears Peeta recounting the day he fell in love with Katniss, her heart sinks. The gamemakers won’t let them both win. They can’t. President Snow simply won’t allow it. And if what they’re saying now is true, even if one of them survives…
“There’s backstory,” Haymitch muses.
Maybe he believes Seneca would do it, two victors. Or maybe he just wants her to believe that he believes. One thing about Haymitch is that he will lie, either straight up or simply omit key details to shield Y/N. Protect her at any cost, as if she were some fragile thing.
She used to hate it, until she understood. Not fragile; precious. Something more valuable than money, or secrets, even booze. If anything happened to Y/N, his world would simply stop turning. The sun would set and never rise. She is a precious commodity of extremely limited supply. She could never be replaced.
“You need medicine for that leg.” Katniss changes the topic of conversation.
“I don’t get many parachutes.” Peeta admits, though he doesn’t tell her why.
“We’ll figure something out.”
“Like what?”
“Something.” Katniss huffs, into the dimly lit cave.
“I think that was the green light on the meds for Peeta.” It’s go time. Haymitch rises from the bench, offering his hand.
This particular offering will not come cheap, it’s time for the original lovers of district twelve to do what they do best. Work an angle.
————————————————————————
“What do you mean we can’t send medicine? We’ve always been able to send medicine.”
“Not my rules, Mrs. Abernathy.” The woman behind the counter says.
“Of course not, you just work here.” Haymitch smiles.
The Capitol employee returns the gesture.
“We’ve been raising this money all day and Y/N is obviously upset that we can’t go through with sending the medicine, but we understand. Is there any information you could give us to help put our minds at ease about the condition of our tribute?”
The woman looks to Y/N now. District twelve tributes rarely make it this far and everyone is quite taken with the young lovers. Against her better judgment, she motions for Y/N to lean down toward her. “There will be an opportunity for your tribute to receive medicine tomorrow.”
“Is there anything we can send today?” Y/N asks.
“You can send soup.”
“Soup.” Haymitch repeats, with false enthusiasm. “We’ll send them soup.”
————————————————————————
“Attention tributes, commencing at dawn, there will be a feast of sorts, at the cornucopia. Each of you need something desperately and we plan to be…generous hosts.”
“And that is why we couldn’t send medicine,” Haymitch laughs, staring down at the contents of his cup.
They’re trying to wrap this up, everyone’s off in different directions. Bring them back together for one hell of a show before curtain fall.
“Five needs food. Thresh just got bread so…maybe weapons? Two needs…armor? I don’t-” Y/N presses a finger against her temple, desperate for answers.
“You feeling ok?” Haymitch’s brow furrows.
“Yes,” Y/N bites out.
Her husband reels back. It is not uncommon for Y/N to mourn tributes, even ones that aren’t theirs. It is unlike her to take it out on him.
“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Y/N apologizes, immediately. Taking one of his hands in hers.
Haymitch turns his gaze to their twined fingers, she’s shaking, “when’s the last time you ate something?”
“Not hungry.”
“You need to eat,” he decides.
“Nothing tastes right.”
“Listen angel, if they’re gonna poison you, it won’t be here.”
“I must be coming down with something.” Or the stress. Despite all of this, she’s never faired well under duress.
“Probably why you puked in that lady’s ice bucket.” Haymitch notes.
“You know what does sound halfway decent?”
“Hmm?”
“Those little cream puffs with powdered sugar on top.”
Haymitch grins, “I’ll bring a plate.”
He hovers after that. Y/N can’t stand hovering, but she tolerates it. Understanding that it comes from a place of love. She didn’t mean to worry him.
Haymitch can’t sleep. Even after Y/N is out cold.
“I love you so much, Haymitch.”
She who brushes wayward hair from his eyes and runs her nose along the length of his, after the sweetest of kisses. She who believes in him and shows him each day there is a reason his life did not end in the arena. She is the best person he has ever known and he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to deserve her. To deserve that selfless, all consuming, love that she gives so freely.
“I love you forever.” Maybe even longer.
In that, at least he knows there is no cause for concern. Their marriage will not crumble, come hell or high water. Haymitch knows how badly she misses home, their children. In another life he’d ask for ten, as many as Y/N would give him.
The tiny garden, around the back of their house in victor’s village; where Everest plants carrots and other vegetables. Where Arista steals them to feed the wandering geese. The most taciturn, temperamental, creatures she can find are naturally the ones she chooses to care for.
Y/N’s syringes come like clockwork from the Capitol, every three months. Squandering any hope of tiny baby feet. Though she is the best mother, one who plays with her daughter and son, down in the dirt. A mother who loves her children more than anything.
Their lives there are a safe haven, one that exists only in their minds. There is no room for a place like that here. No safety for the children they’ve given life to. Only false hope and broken promises.
And if by some misfortune or Capitol ‘miracle’ a child should slip through, Haymitch would love them. Somehow, someway they’d all make it through. But he hopes, more than anything, that it is not now.
————————————————————————
There is no rush to the viewing room the next morning, everything the tributes need will be at the cornucopia. Katniss gets close to the bag marked ‘12’ and the girl from two is on her. Knocking her back with those damn knives.
They grapple around for a while, before landing with Clove on top. Leaving Katniss no room for escape as she holds the blade to her throat. Haymitch is seated on the bed, watching Y/N pace along the large screen in their bedroom.
Thankfully the boy from eleven takes out one of the two remaining careers. Overhearing her taunt Katniss and brag about killing his district partner.
“Just this time, twelve.” Thresh tells her, gathering his bag from the table. “For Rue.”
With that they’re off; Thresh back to solitude and Katniss to Peeta.
He’s still asleep when she arrives, waking only to the sound of her voice. “I got it. I got your medicine.”
“What happened to you?” Peeta’s eyes focus on the gash across her forehead, courtesy of Clove.
“I’m fine.” Katniss busies herself with opening the canister.
“No you’re not,” Peeta reaches up, “what happened?”
“The girl from two, she threw a knife.”
“You shouldn’t have gone, you said you weren’t gonna go.”
“You got worse.” She replies, simply. Spreading the salve over the length of his wound.
Peeta allows a small cry to pass his lips, grabbing at her wrist. “You need some of that too.”
“I’m ok.” Katniss is more worried about him.
“That feels so much better.” He sighs. “Now you need some too.”
“I’m ok.”
“No, come on. You need it too.”
“Alright.” Katniss finally agrees. Watching Peeta’s tender expression as he thumbs the cream over her injury.
When they wake to the computer generated sunrise and find their cuts have healed, the star crossed lovers set off in search of food.
Peeta to the left, foraging berries while Katniss goes to hunt. Though the separation is not ideal, his heavy footsteps would send any potential prey running. The archer is ready to score them some breakfast when the cannon sounds.
It’s for the girl from five. But Katniss doesn’t know that, so she sets off in search of Peeta.
This time, Y/N and Haymitch are down in the viewing room, overhearing the chatter around them.
“Those berries must be poisonous.”
“I hope Katniss finds him in time.”
Katniss calls out for Peeta again, colliding into him a moment later as Peeta rushes toward the sound of her voice. His fist still closed around a handful of blue berries.
“What happened? Are you ok?” Peeta wonders, holding her tightly as she trembles.
“I heard the cannon. I thought you were dead.”
The boy rests his chin against her shoulder, “I’m right here.”
Katniss pulls back to scold him, smacking the berries from his hand. “That’s nightlock, Peeta. You’d be dead in a minute!”
“I didn’t know,” he stammers.
“Scared me half to death, damn you.” Then she is hugging him again. She can’t explain it, the need to feel him close, know that he is safe.
“I’m sorry.” Peeta breathes, soothing her with a gentle hand, down the length of her back. “I’m sorry.”
When they have settled enough to keep moving, they make the discovery of the red head’s body. Her mouth stained magenta and a few berries still in hand, eyes wide and open.
“I never even knew she was following me.”
“She’s clever.” Katniss always thought so.
“Too clever.”
Katniss leans down, collecting the berries from her hand.
“What are you doing?”
“Maybe Cato likes berries too.”
It’s only half past noon when the sun sets, quickly and without warning.
“Must be in a hurry to end it.” Katniss reasons.
Y/N’s leg is bouncing faster now, vibrating almost.
Haymitch reaches out a hand, resting it atop her thigh to still it.
They wait there, in uncomfortable silence, until the sound of mutts causes Y/N to jump. Even Haymitch flinches when the animals appear, like something out of a nightmare, bits of the fallen tributes mixed in.
They take Thresh, tearing him to pieces and Y/N doesn’t fight when Haymitch wraps her up in his arms. Making a place for herself in his lap, legs dangling over the side of his, not caring if she is heavy. He of course, doesn’t mind, pressing a kiss to the underside her jaw.
Cato is waiting at the top of the cornucopia. When Peeta and Katniss inevitably end up there, the three of them have it out. With Cato’s arm around Peeta’s neck, Katniss is left with no good choices. If she shoots the career’s hand where Peeta is pointing and she misses… But if she doesn’t shoot, he’ll kill Peeta anyway. She takes a deep breath and lets the arrow fly.
Cato’s death is a quick one, a mercy he may not have shown with roles reversed. But it is over, leaving just the tributes from district twelve. Gone is the shadow of night, the sun returning to illuminate the finale.
“Attention, tributes, attention, there’s been a slight rule change.”
Katniss draws her bow, fearing that they are somehow not alone.
Haymitch shifts, bracing himself.
“The previous revision allowing two victors from the same district has been…revoked. Only one may be crowned. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.”
Katniss and Peeta turn back to one another.
“Go ahead.” Peeta insists, “one of us should go home. One of us has to die, they have to have their victor.”
“No,” Katniss tosses her weapon down, stepping over it to close the space between them. “They don’t. Why should they?” She pulls the nightlock from her pocket.
“No,” Peeta covers her hand with his own.
“Trust me.” Katniss whispers, “trust me.”
And Peeta does, accepting the berries into his palm.
Haymitch lets out a breath, patting the outside of Y/N’s thigh, affectionately. “You did it.” He murmurs, “there’s your victors.” Even though it isn’t fair, even though there will be nothing to show for it. They won.
Y/N leans farther into his embrace. Wishing more than anything for the chance to tell Peeta that she is proud and to tell Katniss…
“Together?” The boys asks.
“Together,” Katniss repeats.
“Ok. One.” Peeta runs his fingertips down the length of her braid.
“Two.”
“Three.”
Together they raise the poison toward their lips.
“Stop.” A voice rings through the arena, “stop! Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the winners of the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games.”
For this, the four of them will surely be punished.
Part 8
Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @officialjellydoughnut @whoreforfictionalpeople @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004
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Queen of hearts
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Acknowledgements and Disclaimers: this one goes out to all the moms out there. New moms. Experienced moms. Mom-to be. Yall are heroes man. All the love.
Shout out to the mutual who helped answer my pregnancy questions. Thanks for letting me pester you. You know who you are. Any mischaracterizations of pregnancy, labor, or postpartum are completely my own.
Warnings: brief depictions of labor. Mentions of depression. Also not proof read.
***
9 months had flown by like a dream. The whole thing had felt like a movie. And Matty, having made a career out of making life feel like a movie, was wary of the whole thing. Of course they’d had their ups and downs. Worrying over what constitutes a good parent and whether they were going to fuck this child up before it even had a chance to grow up and make its own mistakes. The occasional shock over how powerful and real hormone fluctuations can be. The Braxton Hicks scare. The late night cravings and the crying (some of which was done by him, if he’s being honest). Arguing over baby names, if the kid should be allowed to play football before a certain age lest they get injured. If, being the child of artists meant that the child would be sign up for music and art lessons, or if they would wait and see what the kid naturally gravitates towards. If gender-neutral clothing was inherently boring and lifeless, or, if it was ‘too woke’ to have a baby girl in a car onesie or a baby boy is a butterfly onesie. It was, after all, a pregnancy, not a walk in the park. But he’d loved and welcomed every bit of it. And so had Jo. He’d swelled with joy watching her nest and acquire baby clothes, paint the nursery, and start a vintage stuffie collection. He’d helped her curate a little library of children’s books for kids of all ages, to make sure their baby would be guaranteed a great start, no matter how advanced they turned out to be (Jo and Matty, were, of course, convinced that their child would be a genius). Looking back, even the labor and delivery process seemed perfect.
Jo had screamed at him the whole day.
“We can’t actually go to the hospital just yet. I called. The front desk woman told me to stay put and put on some yoga music.”
Jo had unleashed a string of obscenities upon him that he has chosen to omit from memory ( he remembers them perfectly. She had asked him if he was a demented fucker or if he would like this baby to come out or a teeny tiny hole in his penis instead). He had laughed, told her that she was funny and that he was falling in love with her all over again. She’d thrown the tv remote at his head, missing narrowly.
His gravest mistake, however, was trying to document everything. He’d brought a film camera into the delivery room, which the nurses had balked at. But Matty has been used to being called eccentric so he didn’t care. He wanted to remember every single moment of this day forever. And, when Jo had failed to convince him by making the same arguments that he often proposed at his own shows, for his own fans to put the camera away and just be in the moment, she’d decided to teach him an lesson by choosing not to warn him about the messiness of childbirth. The next thing she heard him say was “oh. So much blood.” Before he’d dropped the godforsaken camera to the floor, smashing it to bits. And ridding everyone of its evils forever.
“Oh my god, she’s here, Jo! I can see her head!” He’d rushed over to her, with tears in his eyes, squeezing her hand. “C’mon, Jo. You’ve got this! One more push.”
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. It’s too much. I just- she’s gonna have to stay in there forever.”
“‘fraid we can’t do that, Josephine” the doctor shook her head. “She’s almost out which means it’s tight on her now, if you don’t push, you’re hurting her.”
Jo instantly burst into tears.
“No, no, no! Baby don’t cry!” Matty cooed, then turned towards the doctor. “Why the fuck would you say something like that to her? Right now, as well! are you TRYING to upset my wife right in the middle of the birth of my child?” He hovered over Jo protectively, wiping her sweaty forehead with one of the rags that the nurses had brought in, and kissing her. “You’re okay, Jo. Our baby is going to be okay. Deep breaths, yeah?”
“You promise?” She whispered, too embarrassed for the nurses and doctor to hear.
Matty swears, this, was the moment that he became a dad. Knowing that his wife and child needed him to be the sane and steady one for the first time completely changed him as a person.
Though he had no business making these promises, he’d never felt more certain of anything in his life. “I promise, my love. I’ve got you. And you’ve got our baby. She really needs you right now. So….lets do this, yeah?”
Jo nodded, watching the nurse approach and take her hand to pull her back into position.
“C’mon,love. One more push?” The matronly lady encouraged.
Jo screamed as she gave it her all, Matty’s hand in hers.
“Great! You’re doing great, Josephine! Give me one more push!” The doctor smiled.
“You said that last time! Every single time you say this is gonna be the last push! You’re fuckin lying.”
With tears in her eyes, Jo screamed and cussed out everyone in the room, pushing with all her might, until finally, the baby was out. She heard cheering and congratulations erupt around the room which was her cue to lay back and finally relax.
“Dad, Would you like to do the honors? cut the umbilical cord?” The nurse had asked.
“Oh? I- erm I …should. But I don’t wanna leave you? But also I don’t wanna leave…her- I….” Years later, Matty would realize that it was, in fact, this moment, that had made him into a dad. The moment that he felt conflict between choosing to stay by Jo’s side and hold her hand through what she had just accomplished , or let go of her hand to go meet his daughter instead.
“Go, Matty, go.” Jo had encouraged him, her voice weak from screaming. She nodded as he hesitantly loosened his hold on her hand.
“Let’s fuckin do this!” His shaky hands took the surgical scissors from the doctor and made the cut. “Oh my fuckin god, hiiii” matty cried as he met his daughter for the first time. He almost reached out to take her into his arms but, then, realized that it should be Jo who gets to hold her first.
“Would you like to-“
“Yes, oh god, yes, please?” Jo sat up straight.
Matty, with fresh tears still running down his cheeks, leapt into action adjusting her pillows to support her back as she leaned forward to receive her child.
“Oh god, Matty, look. She’s so….”
“Perfect.”
Everything, about Sophia, from conception to birth, had been perfect. So, it was a complete shock to Matty (and to Jo) when things changed postpartum.
It all started with Jo sleeping in a bit more than usual. At first, Matty had written it off as her body recovering from labor. After all, she’d literally housed, sheltered, and built a human being from scratch for 9 months. She was entitled to a little bit of extra sleep if that’s what she needed. Besides, he saw this as his opportunity to step in. While Jo was pregnant, Matty felt limited in how much help he could be. He flew back and forth in between tour dates to be at doctors appointments, and to help purchase the crib and pick out the nursery colors. He drove across the country to make it to specialty bakeries and shops to fulfill the strange flavor combinations of pregnancy cravings. But none of it was comparable to literally being pregnant. So, it was only fair that he take on some of the work now that the child was born, and let Jo get her rest.
He wanted to be the best dad he possibly could. So, he dove in head first. And he missed the signs. It wasn’t until he was holding Sophia in his arms, looking at Jo, as she laid in bed, saying “it’s a baby, Matty. All it does is cry and sleep. What does it want from me?” That he realized something was deeply wrong. By then, it was too late.
Matty walked around the messy house, eyes blood shot and sore. Whether it was the crying or the lack of sleep, he wasn’t sure. He went into the kitchen, pulling out a massive trash bag and hauling in all the empty takeout containers that had been sitting there all week, shoving them all into the trash bag. He needed to step up his housekeeping game. At this rate, they’ll be living in squalor by the next few days.
He pulled the only clean mug left out of the cupboard and reached for the coffee machine that had been on since this morning, pouring himself a cup.
“Fuckin hell.” He whispered at nothing in particular. What time was it? What day of week or month even was it? He tapped his phone screen for answers. It was a Wednesday in the middle of the month. Just shy of noon. He knew that the best thing he could possibly do for his family right now would be to admit that he’s in over his head. And ask for help.
***
“Where is she now?” Adam asked, stirring the sugar into Matty’s tea before placing the mug in front of him.
“home. Erm….the cleaning service is working on the house. Her mom is there, too, to watch Sophia while she showers and stuff, so….”
Adam nodded, at a loss for words. He squeezed Matty’s shoulder gently.
“What do I do? How do I fix this?” Matty’s eyes darted between Adam and Carly, who wizzed around the kitchen, preparing dinner, with her son at her feet.
“You can’t fix it, mate.” Adam shrugged. Sheepishly.
“I know; I know. But- what do I do?”
Adam simply rubbed his friends back, searching his brain for any words of solace or wisdom.
“Matty, have you eaten anything today?” Carly asked, with her back to him, standing at the stove and stirring something that Matty couldn’t quite see.
He was offended by the question. He’d come to her with the biggest problem he’s ever had to face and her response was to ask if he was hungry? Speechless and indignant, he shook his head. “I have not. No.” He gritted, anger palpable in his voice.
Carly knew better than to take it personally.
***
Carly and Adam exchanged a look. Adam nodded, rising to his feet and taking his child from between his mother’s legs. “C’mon, little man. It’s time for bed. Let’s get into the bath. Give mummy and uncle Matty a bit of time to chat.”
Carly walked over to Matty at the dining table, setting down two huge containers in front of him. “This one’s soup. This one’s chicken and veg. Take them home. Freeze the leftovers and defrost as needed.”
“Carly, I-“
“Comfort food is good. For both of you.” She smiled brightly. “She won’t have an appetite but keep offering it to her anyway.”
“Right.”
“I’m gonna send you a list. Maybe pop into the shops on your way home and buy some of it. Baby cream, nipple pads, stuff like that.”
Matty nodded, dutifully.
“I’ll speak to Patricia and Charli and everybody. We’ll start a rotation. Check in on her and- maybe even send you off to the store a few times. There are just some girl things that she might not have on. Just some bits and bobs to make her life easier.”
“Hmm. Yeah. I suppose.”
“Matty, darling, you know who you need to speak to here. Who she needs to speak to. And it isn’t me, and it isn’t Adam, or George, or Ross, or even a doctor who will rattle off some statistics at her. Why haven’t you done it yet?”
***
Carly was right. Matty knew the person for the job. The reason that he hadn’t called his mom yet was because he was ashamed. Ashamed to admit, in front of her, that he had failed. He’d failed his wife. Failed his kid. Failed to do what he claimed his mother’s struggle had taught him. Failed to be patient, failed to be empathetic. He expected too much from her and he resented her when she wouldn’t rise to it. And he hated that about himself.
But his mom was always there. All he needed to do was call her and say “mum, I need you.”
Denise rushed over.
“Oh, matty, it’s okay.” She placed her hand over his. “It’s different when it’s your partner, isn’t it?”
“Why, though? It shouldn’t be! It’s not like she’s any more or less of a person, a woman, or a mother than you were when you had me!”
Denise rolled her eyes. They both knew Matty was smarter than this. “Yeah, but that doesn’t matter, does it? You were 17 when I told you about my depression. It had been 17 years. You’d seen me differently. And you knew I loved you because you’d felt it your whole life. You were only finding out about that stuff after the fact. This is not the same. Besides, the way that you feel about your partner is not supposed to be like the way that you feel about your mother, or if it is then I haven’t done my job raising you right.”
Matty frowned and licked his lips, searching his brain for a clever comeback.
“You feel like you’ve been abandoned. Like she’s left all the parenting on you and you’re trying your best but she’s not giving you much to work with.” Denise simply stated.
Matty laughed in disbelief. “That’s absurd. She hasn’t abandoned me.”
“Course, she hasn’t. She’s got an illness, she’s not a bad mother. But that’s what it feels like. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be scared. You’re a new father too. You’ve got no idea what you’re doing and you want to be able to do turn to her but you can’t.”
“I- “ matty turned tongue-tied. Unsure how to respond. It made him uncomfortable to have his unspoken thoughts said out loud for him. “did dad ever…?”
“I don’t know. You’d have to ask him. I didn’t really speak much to him at the time. Sort of….blamed him for it, actually. A part of me felt like, somehow, he had done this to me or something.”
Matty listened, wondering if Jo felt that way about him.
“In fact, why don’t you go do that right now. Call him round. I’ll get upstairs and check on Jo.”
***
Tim left Matty flipping through old photo albums and went to answer the door, smiling wide and proud when he was met with Louis at his brothers doorstep. “You’re joining the crew?”
“You didn’t think you’d have a party without me and I wouldn’t find out about it, did ya?” Louis winked. “Nah, mum called. Said to come to Matty’s instantly.”
“Get in there!” Denise appeared behind them. “And don’t call it a party that’s insensitive.”
She shut the door, beckoning both men to huddle in the corner with her.
“We’re all here for one thing and one thing only.” Denise spoke with the command of a military officer issuing orders . “To watch the baby for the next two days. We work in shifts. Louis, you’re young and still have your back. You’ll take the overnight shift. Tim you start now. I’ll step in between you two.”
The two men exchanged a smile, nodding.
“And if you want to be here off the clock, you are not a houseguest. You don’t just sit sound and expect to be catered to. Consider yourself a contributing member of the household. Roll up your sleeves and see what needs doing around here. Let’s give them some time and room to figure out what Jo needs.”
***
Matty felt his heart shatter into a million pieces inside his chest when he walked into their bedroom and saw Jo, hugging the duvet, with tears in her eyes.
He rushed over to her, but as he reached for her hand, he recalled all the times that he’d tried to initiate any form of physical intimacy over the last few weeks —a hug, a cuddle, a kiss, sex— only for her to turn him down. He pulled away, hesitant, and not wanting to pressure her into anything. He wasn’t sure if these attempts were his way of trying to comfort her or if it was himself who needed the comforting. He would never think that he could possibly understand what she was going through, but, he couldn’t deny that he needed her, too. So much so that he was certain a simple touch from her would bring him to his knees.
“Jo, Darling,” he whispered, “fuck. You have no idea how much I wish I could kiss you right now.“
Jo blushed as if it were the first time that he had ever looked at her that way.
“Your mom- Denise, she…well, she and I talked. I don’t think I’m okay, Matty.”
He sat on the bed, looking at her. She was a shell of the person that he’d fallen in love with. “It’s alright, baby-“
“How can it be alright? I’m a mother! I- I’m a danger to my own child. When I should be her first and fiercest protector!” Jo yelled, sobbing into her own hands.
The sound of her crying was worse than a knife to Matty’s chest.
“Well, it’s a good thing she’s got me, then, isn’t it?” Matty pulled her into his lap, laying her head against him.
“I love her…” Jo tried to convince herself of her own words “ I want to love her.”
“Course, you do, Jo. You’re just not able to feel much of anything right now. Because of what you’re going through. But, we’ll fix it. I promise. We will.” He planted a kiss to her head “I’m sorry, honey. I’m really sorry I let it get this bad.”
“Matty, it’s not your fault-“
“No, it is. I- I thought that I was being a good dad by prioritizing Sophia over you. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I thought it was what was best for us all.” She felt Matty’s tears dripping down onto her hair. “But it’s you, Jo. You’re what’s best for all three of us. Sophia and I need you. We’re nothing without you.”
Jo wished she had the will or capacity to comfort him, to want to hold her daughter in her arms. She knew it must be difficult on him, and she hated being a source of his pain.
“I’m sorry, Matty-“
“No!” She felt him stiffen. “Don’t. Don’t apologize. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? You’re not alone. Neither are Sophia and I. Look how many people it took to get us to talk” he giggled at the thought. “Look how many people love you and want to support you.”
He saw the beginnings of a smile on her face. “Carly has practically started a catering business trying to feed us. You should see our kitchen. It’s never been this stocked up even when we’re both at home.”
Jo let out a small chuckle, the first since Sophia was born.
To Matty, that small sound was like finding water in the middle of wandering the desert.
***
Matty walked up and down room at the pace that he had discovered was most comfortable for baby Sophia to nap. He rocked her gently in his arms whispering, “you’re gonna be a sweet quiet girl yeah? Look at mommy. She’s so pretty when she’s asleep next to your crib, don’t you think, Soph? You take after her, that’s for certain. Let’s go get mommy a blanket, yeah? Shall we? Look at you! Taking care of mommy already. Bestest baby in the world, you are.”
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joyce-stick · 1 year
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The Beef Stroganoff Song! (arbitrary subtitle discourse edition)
So, you may have noticed here that the subtitles in this clip (from Symphogear GX episode 3) are fairly different from what you're used to seeing when people post this video, and the phrasing in the subtitles is fairly different from what the associated memes often say
For those who don't know, Symphogear got itself released on blu-ray by Discotek, and with that came with a new translation authored by Noelle (@ulsairi on twitter ) who is notable for being the only trans lesbian anime translator I know of off the top of my head.
Her translation appears, in my opinion, really rather polished and very good, and I strongly appreciate the way it's written and how much character it adds to the dialogue by giving everyone distinct voices and adapting things into more natural English. It's also a fair bit gayer. I haven't encountered many people who've seen these subs, but I think most fans of the series would consider these a net positive change. There are some people who are mad about these subtitles, and they can die mad.
Anyway, let's talk about the different phrasing of the beef stroganoff song. I'm mostly going to compare to Crunchyroll's subtitles for reference since that seems to be what most others go off of. Here's a link to that version.
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So right off the bat we can see here that while CR's translation appears to be a lot more, for lack of a better word, functional, Noelle's translation tries to apply more dialectal force "it's beef stroganoff/Yes! It's THAT beef stroganoff!" And generally communicate through the tone how excited the girls are to get started. Additionally you'll see throughout that the latter is a fair bit more lyrical, there's a lot more punctuation and verbal tics and filler phrases written into the dialogue to express that they are singing, which makes sense since Japanese tends to omit a lot of the sorts of prepositions that Noelle threw in here,
Like, Yumi (yes I went and looked up her name on the wiki) just says "beef stroganoffu" because it's obvious from context that it is beef stroganoff, she doesn't need to spell it out, at least, not in Japanese
(We know like maybe ten hiragana and 1 kanji do not trust us on Japanese this is all just basic shit we learned from online guides)
So this probably leads to a rushed translator from Crunchyroll (they are notoriously crunched for time) who's just trying to Get It Done probably not really bothering to throw in extra additional connecting letters to express the tone of the character, only doing so when it's required to make basic grammatical sense in the target language. So they likely didn't think to make the subtitles have flourishes like this that aren't explicitly in the original Japanese. Noelle meanwhile had the time to consider things like this and take such liberties in order to attempt to convey the same tone that was arguably implied by the Japanese, even if not explicitly put forth
And that's about all the things I should not repeat I guess, TL;DR, these subtitles are more fun to read because the translator had more time to think about the best way to make them more fun while still being accurate to the spirit of the original dialogue, who'd have thought!
(In case you're wondering, the Commie subtitles say kind of the same thing here, and y'know, it doesn't seem like a wrong translation, but also I really dislike this subtitle styling, orange on pink with that font and that drop shadow is just kinda bad. I appreciate the effort but like. Come on. Please fansubbers, please think about if the font and colors you chose actually work with the image you're putting them on)
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Moving on!
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horizontal and middle rhyme with each other so you can almost actually sing this, actually let me take a moment to try it right now- never mind, I can't sing. Hahaha. I don't actually think it lines up that well with the melody But I thought it did! Didn't I? That's significant, that this actually reads like plausible lyrics to a silly song someone made up instead of a literal translation of a Japanese song
Anyway, here comes the first major difference!
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So in the Crunchyroll subtitles, Yumi says "it doesn't have to be beef" which in English (in my estimation) sounds a tad scatterbrained, like, "oh yeah sure beef but whatever really it doesn't actually matter," while Noelle's subtitles rather say "Got no beef? Don't you worry!" Which implies something different.
"It is recommended to use beef, but you may substitute something else if you are sorely lacking in beef" as opposed to "Oh the beef doesn't actually matter, zoinks lol!" CR's translation is kind of a bit funnier in how it sorta comes from nowhere without this qualification, which probably lead to this phrase's memeticness, but Noelle's translation seems more reasonable to me so yeah again, tada, yay for sensicalness.
Now here's another interesting change:
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Again, the flat manner in which the CR subtitles say "finish with salt" with rendezvous only being included because that's literally what they said, is sort of absent any stronger emotional implication,
Noelle's translation meanwhile going with "don't forget them, they need it" imparts personhood upon the salt and pepper. The implication being that the girls are saying, "the salt and pepper are in love, please reunite them, they must be in gay love together." Or maybe you think the salt and pepper cannot be forgotten and must be reunited because they are Only Friends.
Whether you choose to believe that this is the salt and pepper getting married, or merely subtext, or an interpretation, or salt and pepper shipping bait, this is a deeply important tonal indicator because it reminds you that these girls are ultimately playing with their food!
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"And there, now you're in for a treat!" I don't think I need to explain this one.
Now, here's an interesting one!
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In the Crunchyroll subtitles, it just says the memetic "boys don't know this." With no context, no elaboration, no clarity, no qualifiers. Boys don't know. Did the boys magically get their brains wiped? Are the boys biologically incapable? Who knows. Nothing is said but that.
Noelle's subtitles, on the other hand, qualify this statement by saying "Boys aren't taught to cook, so they may not know" (And note again how, it says "kno-ow" to emphasize, once more, that they're singing, and also this lines up with the long "ooooo" sound they make at the end of this lyric, so cool)
There is now context! Boys aren't taught to cook! Anime and Japan's culture in general still pigeonholes people into gender roles! And an anime translator just wrote you a hidden translation note about it! You might be a boy, you might know how to cook, but certain boys in another part of the world aren't traditionally taught cooking, so they may not know
They may not, but they could!
Trust a trans person to express gender facts with subtle nuances like this in anime translations.
And with that lovely bit of good translation and good writing and good localization of a thing to make it make sense to people
Mew!
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worseforwords · 1 year
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Exposed (Ona Batlle x Reader)
Thanks to @footygirl114 for the title idea! Buckle up everyone, this is a long one.
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“Heads up!” Ona’s voice called from behind you and you felt her leap onto your back a moment later. Today was a good day. United had just beaten City 2-0 in a home game and you had even managed to score one of the goals. Your girlfriend waved at the supporters as you strolled past the stands, but your gaze drifted towards an unusual figure sitting some way down the row. With black hair tipped in blue, striking make-up, dark and frayed clothes, and a plaited choker around her neck, she seemed out of place in a football crowd. You were intrigued, something about her felt familiar, though she was too far away to say exactly what it was. As you caught yourself staring at her for a little too long, you noticed she was staring right back at you, and as you drew closer, she gave you a wave. You suddenly recognised her, and your smile faded. She must’ve noticed your sudden revelation, as she sent you a quick wink. 
Your stomach dropped and panic set in as you considered what to do. Ona still sat on your back, basking in the glory of victory. You knew you had to go say hi to the girl who was now smiling broadly at you from the stands, but you wanted to do so discreetly, without any teammates, especially Ona, joining in on the conversation, or any cameras for that matter. You let Ona down on her feet, to which she send a quick pout your way, before turning her face back towards the fans to continue the walk around the field. Waiting until everyone was distracted, you hastened to the railing to greet the mysterious girl. 
“Hi” you said, quiet as a whisper. “Hey Y/N, long time no see.” she replied, leaning over the barrier to pull you in for a hug. You smiled uncomfortably, scanning your surroundings before reciprocating her hug. As she pulled away, she chuckled, “So, soccer, huh?” “We call it football here.” you answered, trying to match her laugh.
The conversation was short-lived as Ona wandered over, curious as to who you were speaking to. “Hey, who’s this?” she asked, her attention fully on you. “This is Nia, erm- an old friend.” you answered quickly, avoiding eye contact. “Nia, this is Ona.” Ona looked at you confused for a second, probably expecting some sort of label in your introduction, before she brushed it off and quickly shook Nia’s hand. “Hi, nice to meet you.” “Likewise.”
The small interaction sent shivers down your spine. Until now, you had managed to keep your past safely hidden. You had traveled a lot when you were younger, which had allowed you to leave certain things behind, and it had never caught up to you until this moment. It hadn't been hard, as you just omitted certain parts of your youth, namely the two years you spent in LA as a teenager.
Nia broke the silence, turning to you. “So,” she said, “you do remember my name. I was afraid you’d forgotten about us for a second there, Picky.” You froze. Picky. You hadn’t heard that nickname in ages. You avoided Ona’s questioning expression as you tried to laugh it off. “Of course I remember you. It just took me a second, what with your hair and make-up.” you said, pointing at said attributes. “Fair enough,” Nia giggled, “I’ve probably changed my hair about 40 times since we last met. I’m not the only one who’s changed though.” she continued, eyeing your bright red Manchester United shirt. You laughed, “Yeah, I suppose I have.” “Do you still have the tattoo at least?” Nia asked, causing Ona to look up with surprise.
The tattoo. It was the one and only thing you had left from your previous life, a permanent mark etched onto your skin. You had planned to get it removed at some point, but the laser removal was quite expensive, and since the tattoo wasn’t often visible to others, you never bothered to actually get it done. When you started dating Ona however, you knew she was bound to notice it at some point. When she did, you had momentarily forgotten about it when she started pulling down your underwear (really who could blame you for your mind being elsewhere), and you were taken aback by her immediate questioning about the small violet on your hip with the words “can’t take back the bullet” scribbled underneath it. Luckily you were still quick on your feet and you made something up along the lines of it being a reminder to not let your emotions get the better of you and Ona let it slide after that because she too had other things on her mind.
“Yeah, I still have it.” you said with a shy smile, still avoiding Ona’s gaze. “Good, me too.” Nia said, making Ona turn to her sharply. “By the way, Picky,” she started, changing the subject, “you still owe Casey some money, remember?” This was the final straw for you.  Too much had already been said, and you needed to get away as fast as possible. You took advantage of a group of fans who called out your names to excuse yourself, pulling Ona with you towards them. After signing a few shirts and taking selfies, you hurried inside.
“What was that all about?” Ona asked as she caught up with you. “What was what about?” You stalled, trying to come up with an excuse for your strange behaviour. “Why are you being weird?” she asked directly. “I’m not, just tired from the game, that's all.” you said, unable to come up with anything better as you headed towards the changing room, avoiding eye contact, gaze straight ahead. “Shit,” you muttered as you sat down, “forgot my coat, be right back.” 
As you walked back onto the pitch, you couldn’t resist checking if Nia was still there. To your dismay, you saw her talking to Millie. “Mills!” you yelled, running towards them. “Come with me, now.” You grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from the conversation. “Woah, Y/N, calm down, what’s going on?” she asked, shocked by your sudden intervention. “It’s just that,” you paused to think as your eyes scanned the stands, quickly finding just what you needed. “I saw some little girls over there who want your autograph, and I think they’re about to leave without it,” you said, pointing towards a group of young girls holding up a sign with Millie’s name on it. “Oh, thanks. Maybe next time, don’t be so intense about it?” she chuckled. “Noted.” you said, walking with her towards the excited children. “So, erm, what were you talking about with that girl?” you asked carefully. “Nothing really. I just told her I liked her style, and then you pulled me away. Why?” You scanned her face, trying to see if she was telling the truth. For a moment, you thought you saw a small smirk in the corner of her mouth, but you decided not to dwell on it as it would only arouse suspicion. “Nothing, never mind.”
Ella’s voice resounded through the changing room like a joyful bell. “Woooo, party at mine ladies!” she exclaimed. As she settled beside you, she turned to address you. “You coming, Y/N?” she asked, a friendly grin etched onto her features. “Sure, but I have to pop home for a quick shower, forgot my towel,” you replied, hastily pulling on your joggers and coat. Ona began to offer her towel, but before she could finish her sentence, you had already bolted out of the door. 
As you plopped down on your bed, trying to recover from the events of the day, your mind raced with thoughts and questions. You tried to make up reasons for your strange behaviour earlier, but nothing seemed to make sense. You knew that no one could know about what happened. It would change how they see you, and you couldn’t bear that. Those two years in LA were supposed to stay in LA, and thus far, no one had a single clue about it. Nia suddenly showing up made you terrified that someone would find out, so when she messaged you asking if you wanted to hang out, you ignored her. You couldn’t risk anyone finding out your secret.
You went to the party, hoping to take your mind off things. However, things only got worse. Ona made quick work of pulling you aside to interrogate you about earlier, asking a series of questions that made your heart race. “Can we talk?” she said. “Who is she? Why did she call you Picky? Why do you have matching tattoos? Why were you acting so weird? And who is Casey, and why do you owe them money?” 
You knew that you couldn’t tell her the truth, so you made up some stuff on the spot, hoping that it would be enough to satisfy her curiosity. You told her that Nia was just an old friend from LA that you hadn’t seen in years. You added that she was always a bit of a weirdo and that you weren’t that close. You explained that the matching tattoos were just a silly thing that you and Nia did when you were young and naive and the money thing was just some inside joke. You hoped that Ona would buy your story, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that she was still suspicious.
When Ona finally left you be, you quickly checked your phone, which had been buzzing in your pocket a lot. You’d received a series of messages from Nia, the last one of which being: 
“We need to talk. Where are you??”
As you felt increasingly anxious about Nia’s persistent messages, you decided to leave the party early to meet up with her. You quickly came up with an excuse to your teammates, telling them that you suddenly felt unwell and needed to go home to rest, and you texted Nia your address.
Shortly after arriving home, a knock resounded from your door. Hastily, you answered it and welcomed Nia into your apartment. “You’ve got a lovely place here, very grown-up, Picky,” she remarked as she stepped inside. “Please don’t call me that.” you muttered in response as you finally snapped. “Why not?” Nia asked, looking with a confused expression. Mentally debating how to deliver your message, you began, “I’m not the same person anymore.” “Obviously.” She mumbled. “When I got my chance to make it in the football world, I left my old life in LA behind. The person you knew back then is gone, I am no longer her.” you explained. “I don't believe that,” Nia responded, “you can't simply leave and become a completely different person.” “Well, I did,” you answered coldly, “and I’d like to keep it that way. So, please, don’t talk to my teammates again.” Nia remained silent for a moment as her eyes widened.
“They don’t know about us, do they?” she asked, her voice growing louder. “No, they don’t.” You replied quietly. “Woah, are you ashamed of us?” Nia practically yelled. “Of course I am!” you answered a bit too quickly before immediately regretting it. “Sorry, I mean- I didn’t mean it like that, I-” you stumbled over your words, but Nia continued to stare at you with disbelief. “Alright, got it.” she said as she turned back towards the front door. “No, Nia, please, I’m sorry, I-” “Good luck with your new life, I guess, Y/N,” she said, purposefully emphasising your name, walking away before you could finish your apology. Despite feeling guilty, you didn’t make an effort to chase after her. You convinced yourself it was better this way.
“What was that all about?” a voice called from beside you, making you jump. “Ona, hey, what are you doing here?” you asked. “You left the party so suddenly, and I came to check on you,” she explained, “but I suppose you had company.” “How long have you been standing there?” you inquired, curious about what she may have overheard. “Not long, why? Are you afraid I heard something?” Ona asked suspiciously. “No, I just- it’s chilly out here. You should come inside.” you said, holding the door open as she walked inside.
As Ona stepped into your home, she immediately turned to you with a look of frustration etched on her face. “Y/N, what happened with Nia?” she demanded, her voice tinged with anger. “You’ve been so secretive lately, it’s hard not to feel like you’ve been lying to me.” Despite her annoyance, there was a note of confusion in her tone, as if she couldn’t quite understand why you were behaving this way. Once again, you brushed off Ona's concerns, insisting that there was nothing to worry about and that Nia had just wanted to chat. However, Ona was insistent and demanded to know why she had seemed so upset when leaving your apartment. 
You found it hard to articulate your thoughts, feeling caught off guard by the sudden confrontation. “Please, Ona, can you just trust me on this. Please just let it go.” you pleaded, hoping to avoid any further conflict. Eventually, she relented and let the issue slide, but an air of concern still hung around her. The two of you went to bed in a tense silence, the events of the day lingering in your thoughts.
Two days later, as you were getting ready for training in the changing room, Millie approached you. “Hey, do you know that cute girl with the dyed hair from Sunday?” she asked. “You mean Nia?” you clarified. “Yeah, that’s the one! Ona told me you knew her. Can I get her number? I want to ask her out.” Millie explained. You hesitated before responding. “Sorry, Millie. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nia’s bad news.” Millie looked confused. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her?” “I can’t really explain, but trust me, she’s not someone you want to get involved with.” you insisted. Millie looked rather disappointed. “Okay, I guess. Do you have her number though?” “No, I don’t.” you replied, putting an end to the conversation as you quickly finished up getting ready.
As you entered the changing room after training, you noticed Millie with a smile on her face, gazing at her phone. Ella also spotted her and inquired her about it. “Who’s got you grinning like that, Mills?” “No-one.” Millie quickly replied, and attempted to hide her phone. However, Ella had already caught sight of it and snatched it from her hand. “Who’s Nia?” Ella asked, looking at the screen. You felt a pang in your stomach as you worried about what she could find out. “Millie, what did I tell you?” you asked, annoyed that she had contacted Nia despite your warning. “How did you even contact her?” “I slid into her DMs. Y/N, did you know sh-” Millie began to say, but you cut her off, worried she might reveal too much information. Grabbing her wrist, you dragged her out of the room to talk in private.
You pulled Millie into an empty room as she struggled to free her wrist and kept asking what was going on. “Y/N, what's the big deal? Why can’t I talk to her?” she asked. “Millie, I need you to stop contacting Nia. She’s bad news, and I don’t want you getting involved.” you explained firmly. “But Y/N, she seems so cool.” Millie protested. “Please, Mills, just trust me on this.” you pleaded. After a moment of hesitation, she reluctantly agreed. “Okay, I guess.” she said with a sigh.
You returned to the changing room and took a seat next to Ona. “I suppose that was nothing too?” She remarked sarcastically. You simply sighed in response, feeling unsure of what to say. You gathered your belongings and shot a final stern look at Millie before making your way out and heading home.
During training the next day, you warmed up with Millie, passing the ball back and forth, when suddenly you heard her hum a familiar tune. The sound of her humming that melody made your heart race faster. “What’s that you’re humming Mills?” You tried to stay calm as you asked Millie about the song whilst continuing to pass the ball to each other. However, your clenched jaw gave away your anxiety. Millie stopped humming and looked at you, seeming caught off-guard. “Oops." she said, looking down at the grass. You repeated the question, trying to sound composed, even though your anger was simmering inside you. She looked up with a slight smirk on her face. “It's a nice tune, innit?” You cursed under your breath. “Fuck.” 
You gave millie a pleading look as you took the ball in your hands and walked over to her so you could whisper. “Mills, please, I don’t know what you know, but please don’t tell anyone, I beg you.” you said quietly. “What are you talking about? Are you okay?” she asked innocently, but you didn’t buy it. Before you could answer however, Marc called for all of you to gather together to start the first exercise. You desperately tried to compose yourself as the team gathered, your mind racing with thoughts of what Millie might know. Throughout training, you couldn’t shake the feeling of paranoia that someone might find out your secret. Every time Millie came near you, you were on edge, wondering if she was going to reveal what she knew.
That evening you were sitting on the couch in your living room, lazily flipping through the channels on TV when the doorbell rang. You weren’t expecting anyone, but when you got to the door and opened it, you found a package sitting on your doorstep with no return address. Your curiosity piqued as you eagerly brought it inside and began to open it up. As you lifted the lid, you found an old, tattered photograph of yourself with a group of people, all dressed in black. You couldn't believe your eyes as you stared at the photo, realising that it was taken during the time you lived in LA.
You started to feel a sense of unease as you examined the photo more closely, trying to remember the people in the picture. You could recognise a few faces, but most of them were unfamiliar to you. You began to wonder if this was somehow related to Nia, who had recently reappeared in your life. You had a sinking feeling that she wasn’t going to let go of your earlier outburst, which made her getting closer with Millie even scarier.
As you sat on the couch, staring at the old photo, the sound of the door opening made you jump. Ona walked in, surprised to see you home so early from training. You quickly tried to hide the package, but fumbled with it and ended up dropping it on the floor. Unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough and she caught sight of the old photo. “Who are these people? And why are you all dressed like that?” Ona asked, pointing to the group of figures in black, their clothes torn and frayed. You tried to play it off, “Oh, that's just me and some old friends in our Halloween costumes. We used to go all out, you know?” Ona laughed at the idea, but then noticed the date on the back of the photo. “But it says April on here, that’s not Halloween.” she pointed out, looking at you suspiciously.
You felt your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to come up with another excuse. “Oh, right, that must have been some other dress-up party we went to. I can’t really remember.” you said, hoping she would buy it. Ona raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. You could feel the weight of the secret bearing down on you more and more with each thing that happened.
That night, as you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep, the fear and anxiety that had been brewing within you all day finally caught up. Your mind raced as you tossed and turned, and soon the nightmares began. In one particularly vivid dream, you found yourself playing in a huge match, the stadium packed to the rafters with cheering fans. You were playing well, confident and in control, until suddenly the crowd began to chant a name - a name that you hadn’t heard in years, a name that made your blood run cold. “Picky, Picky, Picky,” they chanted, and you felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach.
As the chanting grew louder and more insistent, you tried to block it out, to focus on the game, but it was no use. You were Picky, the name you’d tried so hard to leave behind, the name that had haunted you for years. And now, in this nightmare, it was back, threatening to undo everything you’d worked so hard for. 
You jolted awake, your heart racing and your body slick with sweat. For a moment, you lay there in the dark, trying to steady your breathing and make sense of what had just happened. “Are you okay?” Ona asked, clearly awakened by your midnight antics. “Yeah, just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep Ona.”
The next morning, as you mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, you noticed Millie’s recent close friends story. You felt a knot form in your stomach as you saw a picture of her and Nia together, smiling at the camera. You knew that if Millie didn’t know your secret before, she definitely did now. You frantically searched for any clues in the photo, trying to see if there was anything that could give away your past. The fear of losing everything you had worked for began to consume you, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that your world was about to come crashing down.
You quickly called Millie, hoping to get some answers about the previous night. When she answered, you could hear the sound of a bustling coffee shop in the background. Millie sounded chipper, but her cheeriness quickly evaporated when you brought up Nia. You explained that you had seen her in the Instagram story and asked what happened. Millie hesitated before finally admitting that she had met up with Nia last night. As you listened to Millie defend Nia, insisting that she wasn't a bad person, you felt your frustration growing. It was clear that Millie was taking Nia’s side, and you couldn't believe it. How could she not see what Nia was trying to do? You tried to explain your side of the story, but Millie wasn’t hearing it. “Well how would you feel if someone called you an embarrassment, Y/N?”
You felt your stomach twist with guilt as Millie’s words hung in the air. She was right, you shouldn’t have said those things to Nia. You knew that now. “I’m sorry, Millie,” you said quietly, feeling ashamed. Millie took note of your silence and sighed. “Look, let’s meet up and talk about it, okay? You don’t have to apologise to me, but you should probably make it right with Nia,” she said, her voice softening. You agreed to meet up, feeling grateful for Millie’s kindness and for the opportunity to set things right. As you hung up the phone, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread. How were you going to face Nia and explain yourself?
That night, you met up with Nia and Millie at a bar to try and make amends. You felt nervous as you sat down with them, but you knew you needed to do this. You told her you were sorry for hurting her and acting the way you did. She seemed to take it well at first, but then she asked, “So have you told anyone about us?” “No, Nia, I haven’t.” You said quietly, which seemed to frustrate her. “Well, well, well, there it is. So nothing has changed, you are still just as embarrassed. Is your apology supposed to mean anything to me?” 
Luckily, Millie stepped in and suggested some drinks to lighten the mood. You all took some shots and Millie brought up some lighter subjects as the alcohol was starting to kick in. Before you knew it, you were singing karaoke with Nia, belting out some tunes you hadn’t heard in years. It felt liberating and for a moment, you forgot about the tension between the two of you. The music brought back so many memories, making you realise your embarrassment had overshadowed all the good memories from your time in LA. You wrapped an arm around Nia as you yelled, “I really am sorry Nia, I will make it up to you, promise.”
The next morning you woke up with a raging hangover, but a small smile grew on your face as you recalled the events of last night. You strolled towards the living room to be met with Ona, who had clearly been waiting for you. “Where were you last night?” She asked coldly. “I was out,” you said, “do you know where the paracetamol is?” “Out? Where? Who with?” Ona quickly followed up, voice stil frigid. “Millie, and also Nia.” You mumbled. “Mia? I thought you weren't that close with her.” 
You stumbled towards the kitchen, wincing at the pounding in your head. “Nia, not Mia. And it was just a night out with Millie, nothing more.” you say, searching through the medicine cabinet for paracetamol. Ona followed you, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “Y/N, you’ve been acting strange lately. Is there something you’re not telling me?” she asked, her voice laced with suspicion. You swallowed the pills with a glass of water and turned to face her. “No, everything’s fine. I just needed a night out with friends.” Ona gave you a long, hard look, once again clearly not convinced.
“I can’t keep pretending I believe these lies you tell me. I think I might need some space, Y/N.” You felt a pit in your stomach. You knew she was right. Your recent behaviour had been mysterious, and you hadn’t been entirely truthful with her. You took a deep breath and tried to explain, “You’re right, I haven’t been completely honest with you. I promise I’ll tell you everything soon, I just need some time to figure things out, okay?” Ona looked at you, her eyes softening slightly. “You can’t keep pushing me away like this, Y/N. I need to know what’s going on.” You nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. “I know, and I will tell you, but I need a little more time to figure out how to say it.” Ona nodded, and you felt the weight of your recent actions settling in.
The inevitability of revealing the secret had finally caught up with you. You had kept it buried deep within yourself for far too long. As you recovered from your hangover, a plan began to form in your mind. You reached out to Millie, knowing that she likely knew everything at this point, and asked for her help in bringing the truth to light. 
The next day, with the help of Millie and some staff members, you gathered the whole team in a conference room before training. Everyone sat down and as you stood in front of them, a big screen behind you, they all sent you confused glares, especially Ona, whom you told very little about your plan for this morning. Millie hushed everyone, and your nerves began to take hold. “Greetings, everyone,” you began, “for a long time I have kept my past a secret to all of you, but today that changes. What you’re about to witness might be shocking at first, but rest assured, that stuff is in the past, I am no longer involved in such practices, and I am not the person I was back then.” 
You took a deep breath as you moved away from the screen, giving Millie a small nod, who then hit play. You sat down on the front row, not wanting to face any of your teammates reactions. A video started playing, showing a bunch of alternative looking teenagers in a car. “We are on our way to Vegaaas.” One of them said. You cringed as you waited for the realisation to dawn behind you. “OH MY GOD,” Ella shouted suddenly, “Y/N, is that you with the pink hair?” You buried your face in your hands as a song began playing in the background.
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You kept your face hidden in your hands as the video kept playing, showing you during the most embarrassing period of your life, singing and dancing with the members of the poppunk band you used to be a part of. The laughter and screaming of your teammates rang loud in your ears as you endured the three-minute video, each embarrassing detail pointed out feeling like an eternity. When the last chorus ended, which everyone had sang along too, Millie yanked you by the wrist, pulling you out of hiding and into the spotlight. Your heart pounded as you stood before the team, their eyes fixed on you, most of them still recovering from the laughter. “It’s time for some questions.” Millie declared, a sly grin spreading across her face.
“Alright, go on then, ask away.” You said, knowing an intense interrogation would be inevitable at this point, to which several hands shot up immediately. “You, pink shirt.” Millie said, pointing at Ella, pretending to be hosting a press conference. “Oh my god, where to start,” Ella began, “just- what was that?” You sighed. “When I was a teenager I lived in LA for two years. During that time I joined a band, this was them.” you answered. “What instrument did you play?” Alessia inquired. “Bass, next!” “Were you famous?” Leah asked, to which you chuckled. “We had one minor hit, but not really. They did have somewhat of a breakthrough after I left though.” Some people audibly gasped at that. 
“Do you still talk to them?” Maya asked. “Not really. When I left I kind of dove into my football career, never looking back. Although recently I have been getting in touch with one of them again.” You answered. “Do you have any regrets?” Millie, momentarily losing her role as moderator, caught you off guard with her question. You pondered the question for a while before stating, “No. I don’t.” A small smile growing on your face.
As the interrogation about your past came to an end, the staff interrupted, signalling that it was time for training. The teasing followed you into the changing room where your teammates continued to poke fun at your previous life, singing the song and scouring the internet for embarrassing photos. Despite their laughter, you couldn’t help but notice the quietness of your girlfriend. She remained silent throughout the morning, refusing to participate in the banter, and you knew something was wrong. Trying to be discreet, you quietly approached her as you laced up your shoes, “Ona, can we talk after training?” She nodded, but the unease lingered in the air. Training couldn't end soon enough, as the jokes persisted, and Ona seemed to avoid you at all costs.
When training was finally over, you and Ona hastily left to your apartment. As you sat with Ona on the couch, you couldn’t help but feel guilty about the way you had been acting lately. You knew why she had been quiet all day. You had hurt her by making her think that the secret from your past was something far more sinister than it actually was.
“I’m sorry, Ona,” you began, turning towards her. “I should have told you about the band from the start, instead of acting all suspicious and making you think it was something terrible. I know I hurt you and I feel terrible about it.” Ona remained quiet for a moment, her eyes fixed on her lap. Finally, she looked up at you and spoke in a soft voice. “I was just scared, you know? I thought you had done something really bad, something that would change the way I saw you. But now that I know the truth, I just feel silly.”
You took her hand in yours and squeezed it gently. “You have nothing to feel silly about, Ona. I understand why you were scared, and I should have been more open with you from the start. I promise to be more honest with you in the future.” you said genuinely. “You made me think you were secretly married, or something, or a murderer!” she chuckled, playfully smacking your leg with her hand. “Wait, you really thought that?” you gasped. “Well not really, but I just got confused and my mind went places!” she said, looking a bit embarrassed at her confession. “I’m really sorry Ona.” you said once more.
“So bass, huh?”, Ona said, changing the subject. “Can you still play?” “I do still have my old bass hidden away in the back of my closet, but I haven’t practiced in a long time. Though I guess playing an instrument should be like riding a bike right?”
It wasn’t. You opened the old hardcase to reveal your beige fender precision bass, covered in old stickers you had picked up whilst touring and attending concerts back in the US. “Wow, you were such a loser.” Ona teased. “See, this is why I didn’t want anyone to know!” you replied, sending her a pout. “I’m kidding, I love it. Now play something for me!”
After tuning your bass for what felt like minutes (it was so out of tune you were afraid a string might snap), you tested your muscle memory by attempting to play one of your old songs. You cringed at the sound of the first few notes and quickly stopped playing. Your fingers fumbled over the frets, struggling to find the right notes. The song that used to come so naturally to you now felt like a foreign language. It was like trying to reconnect with a version of yourself that no longer existed. 
“Hey, keep going!” Ona encouraged as she noticed your defeat. “What, you didn’t think that was terrible?” you quipped, raising an eyebrow. She laughed, “Oh, your playing was definitely terrible, but the bass looks good on you.” she said, sending you a wink.
With Ona's encouragement, you kept playing for a bit longer, trying to remember the bass lines. Gradually, it started to come back to you, and the song began to sound more familiar. Ona watched you intently, her smile growing wider as you got better. “You know, I like getting to know about your past,” she said, still smiling at you. “Even if it's embarrassing to you.”
You felt a little pang of guilt wash over you again, but you were grateful for Ona's understanding. You decided to take the opportunity to show her more about your past, and pulled out some old photos from your teenage years. As you scrolled through them together, you told her about your experiences touring with the band, the crazy things you did on the road, and the friends you made along the way. Ona listened attentively, asking questions and laughing at your stories. It felt good to finally share this part of yourself with someone, and you were glad it was with her.
“So this Nia girl, are you guys good? Things seemed so intense with you two.” Ona inquired. “Yeah, I may have hurt her in my embarrassment.” You answered, looking down at your feet. “I know just what to do to make things right.” Ona said as she shot up to grab her phone.
That evening, you sat in a bar, taking a sip of your beer whilst nervously wiggling your feet. You couldn’t believe you had agreed to this, but your girlfriend had convinced you it was the right thing to do. “You didn’t tell me the whole team was coming.” you said, frowning at Ona. She grinned back at you. “Don’t be nervous, querida. You’ve played to bigger crowds before.” You couldn’t help but feel like this was some sort of payback for your recent behaviour, which you definitely deserved. “They’re here!” Ona exclaimed, making you turn around to find Millie and Nia walking into the bar, Nia’s eyes widening when she saw you. 
You made your way to the small podium opposite the bar. You grabbed a microphone and signalled to the sound guy that you were ready. “Hello everyone,” you said into the microphone, taking a deep breath. “Could I have your attention please?” You grabbed your bass from behind the curtain, causing several gasps from your teammates and, of course, Nia. “I have an apology to make to an old friend of mine who’s here tonight. Nia, I'm truly sorry for the way I acted. If you can forgive me, please join in with me.”
As you began to play the bass line from one of your old songs, you could feel the weight of everyone’s attention on you. You were nervous at first, but as you played, you started to feel more confident. After a few bars, Nia hesitantly joined in, her voice blending perfectly with your playing. You shared a smile, both of you finally letting go of the tension that had been building between you. As the song progressed, you could see the your teammates tapping their feet and nodding their heads along to the beat. By the end of the song, the whole bar was cheering and clapping, and you felt a sense of pride and relief wash over you.
As the song came to an end, the bar erupted into applause. You looked out into the crowd and saw your friends, including Ona, with wide grins on their faces. But it was Nia who surprised you the most. She walked up to you and hugged you tightly, whispering in your ear, “I forgive you, Y/N.” “It’s Picky.” You smiled.
As you walked Nia towards the bar to order her a drink, you casually asked, “By the way, that photo was yours, wasn’t it?” Her face broke into a sly smile. “Photo? I have no idea what you are talking about.” she retorted. You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with her denial. “Really? So it was just some random stranger leaving that package on my doorstep?” you inquired, your tone laced with sarcasm. Nia’s grin widened. “I guess so. Perhaps they got a little mad after being called an embarrassment and were hoping to remind you of some positive memories.” she suggested. You playfully nudged her elbow. “Some insightful stranger they were.”
After your performance, the evening blossomed into an unforgettable night out with your team. The occasional teasing towards your past, fuelled by Nia’s humorous anecdotes, only added to the lively atmosphere. Everyone hit it off with Nia, and you were relieved that she decided to forgive you. The night was filled with music, and your teammates kept requesting your old songs to the DJ, who was gradually becoming visibly annoyed. It was heartwarming to witness everyone having such a great time, and it felt freeing to let your hair down and revel in the moment with your friends. As the night came to an end, you walked out of the bar with your arm around Ona, feeling grateful for the amazing people in your life.
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danaty-consolation · 23 days
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Nagisa Shiowatari, the misconceived character.
Since Nagisa's episode is coming this thursday, is time for me to come out an explain more about his character based on the manga characterization.
This is a way to point out some things that were not seen in the Ova adaptation and how his character is often targeted of being one of the worst love interest and characters in Urusei Yatsura as a whole.
The flaws of their first meeting
Ryu meet Nagisa first as an appearing ghost, who scared her when she was taking a bath and then he disappeared.
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If people are calling this meeting problematic, I think they need to read Ranma 1/2, where Ranma's male form meets Akane which is way more problematic even if is an accident.
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Also I think there is more of a problem with these three if we put if realistically, after all she is a scared girl and rather than reafirm this elsewhere these three are with her in a vulnerable position, making her feel more alert rather than more relaxed after that scare.
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After that we have a more kinda normal meeting, they scare the gang with this joke
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and this is when, we get to know that Nagisa is Ryu's fiancée
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The thing here, is that Nagisa had probably grown up by the idea of meeting his fianceé since he was a kid or preteen, the thing is he already knew about his compromise Ryu before meeting her...compared to Ryu who just got told just now, add to the point that here Ryu still thinks Nagisa is a girl meanwhile she thinks that Nagisa sees her as a boy.
Meanwhile I think is way more problematic that Ryu's dad hits his daughter while trying to manipulate her with tears just because she say no to Nagisa.
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Changing once again into Nagisa, we see how his last wish before fully disappearing is to kiss the person he likes.
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Everyone has one last wish, even tho his wish is innocent to him and quite selfish, it really is uncomfortable to Ryu, because she just meet him and she still thinks he is a girl who thinks she is a boy.
Is it a pretty selfish wish? Yes but is his last one, it doesn't make it ok but when you are about to fully disappear you want to do something you wanted to do when you were alive.
It's believable he would want a kiss, we had seen in the last date, how Nozomi wanted a last date with Ataru. The difference here is that Ataru accepts the date to help her move on meanwhile Ryu doesn't want to be obligated to do something she doesn't want.
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Nagisa has a romantic look of what fiancés are, he must think that since both like each other (probably a lie by his father) it must be ok for them to kiss. Nagisa thinks that is okay if he kisses Ryu because they are official, probably his father fault since he is cut with the same scissors as Ryu's father so he omitted some important information like consent in both parts.
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Here another misunderstanding, Nagisa thinks that she doesn't like him because he is a ghost, a totally understandable fear because he is dead but she is alive. He must think he is repulsive to her because of being a ghost meanwhile Ryu is trying to explain to him that she is a girl.
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Also we see how the others know how this will pass if she just kisses him, Ataru and Lum have more experience thanks to the date with Nozomi so is reasonable how they can see it work. After all if they kiss, he will be out of their lives.
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Meanwhile, we see how Nagisa's father is an incredible manipulator by his words, trying to guilt trip Ryu in kissing him when Nagisa doesn't have all that thanks to how he exploited his own son's "feminine look" and put him to work rather than taking him to a school, giving him only hope in the romantic love with Ryu's engagement.
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In short Nagisa gets told that she was persuaded when it was just her father that knocked her out in a moment of weakness, Nagisa believes it sadly. Since we had seen how he doesn't rebel to his father says and doings, he takes it all at face value.
However when he notices that he cannot kiss her because he is a ghost makes him super sad.
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Nevertheless, a sudden legend with a big urchin that Ataru and Mendou even think about how stupid that legend and action sounds
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Makes Nagisa had a physical body again and he is so happy, since this means he can kiss Ryu now.
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Ryu doesn't want to and Nagisa tries to stop her in the way he was educated by, a very wrong move of course.
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However, by his words, we see that he thinks his situation with his physical body is temporarily. He thinks he will become a ghost again so he wants to get his kiss before disappearing completely.
Then here comes the twist, Ryu shows him her breast, still thinking that he thought of her as a boy, this is Ryu big evasive strategy to stop his kiss, showing that she is indeed a girl and Nagisa by knowing that, back off because he may not be interested in her being a girl since in Ryu's mind she thought that he seen her as a boy.
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But it backfired.
Since Nagisa shows that he is indeed a boy and sees nothing wrong with kissing her.
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Ryu asking the real questions.
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Finally, we see once again Nagisa trying to force himself to Ryu because he thinks his time is running out however, Ryu understandingly says that she has not had time to process all this and doesn't want to do it.
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But they notice that he doesn't go with his father because he is kinda alive now with a physical body so now it is shown that he can take it actually slow, with no pressure of disappearing.
2. Nagisa's Character before meeting Ryu and the others.
Nagisa's actions and way of acting represent the way he was raised by his father. It was shown how he has always worked for him while accepting his feminine side that his father had always preferred and promoted out since he thinks Nagisa is a girl, Nagisa is the same as Ryu.
Nevertheless, the real difference here is that Ryu made friends with people who knew her real gender and even had a kinda normal live in school where she became more sociable and seen more normal behavior patterns compared to what she lived with her father, compared to Nagisa who never went to school or have people who knew his real gender. The only person with whom he interacted the most besides the clients who thought he was a girl was his father.
He didn't have anyone else to tell him that his methods were forceful or wrong, he only followed what his dad did.
Ryu and Nagisa are victims of their fathers wanting to make them look the opposite gender, to try to manipulate them into thinking they are from the opposite sex.
Nagisa is more passive than Ryu, he accepts what his father says most of the time.
After all he is more obedient to his father compared to Ryu's open vocal rebellion with her father, the only thing when he contradicts his father is when he shows that he knows that he is a boy and doesn't negate that fact. Sure he act, behaves and is emotionally like a woman but even if he acts like that he knows and is comfortable on being a boy.
That is his only rebellion.
3. Nagisa's and Ryu's relationship while living together.
One night's battle is a small arc that is more to the point about Nagisa's personality and his dynamic with Ryu.
The beginning show Nagisa's dream:
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A married life with Ryu.
But the reality is quite different
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In this one it is presented how Nagisa is a pretty flawed character.
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He is really emotional, like a girl but more over the top. He also eats a lot and is a person who wakes up late.
The thing is until now Ryu and Nagisa hadn't had any development romantically or even as friendship, Ryu is not interested in him in that way and doesn't want to kiss him.
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Althrough it is proved that Nagisa is protective of her and doesn't like Ataru trying to make a move on Ryu.
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The thing here is, that Nagisa is gullible, he is straightforward to convince because that is his personality and he doesn't know Ryu that well yet. He only meet her recently compared to Ataru and the others.
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Nagisa wants to be in Ryu's good side, he wants to know her more but Ryu is pretty stubborn and closes herself because of how they meet and since she sees this as a way to rebel to what her father imposed her, being romantically involved by Nagisa.
That is why when Ryu friends tell him this
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He believes in them and feels much better, knowing that he finally has a chance to be on her good side.
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And when it shows that Ryu gets interested in him in some way, her father comes out and ruins it by pulling them into a uncomfortable situation.
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dainlovesrain · 5 months
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YooHanKim and love - self-sacrifice. A loose analysis?
orv spoilers!
Self-sacrifice is the core theme of ORV. You can see it everywhere, not only in Kim Dokja and his mother. Every character decided to sacrifice themselves and I want to focus specifically on YHK.
- Kim Dokja -
His sacrifice is the most noticeable in the book. At every corner there's him dying, abandoning things just so others can achieve something with least losses. That man doesn't see himself as worthy enough, doesn't let himself think that he's important to those who are important to him. He doesn't fully comprehend the scope of his actions and how they impact people around him, he doesn't think he's all that dear to others. He doesn't like his emotions, his experiences, himself. So why would anyone even see him as someone of value?
This man, having experienced self-sacrifice as only form of love in his life, hating it, decides that self-sacrifice would be the best option to achieve what he wants - no losses of those important to him, a conclusion he'd always wanted to see. He doesn't mind that he's not there. In his mind he's not important, he can be omitted, he's just a reader, an observer, after all. And he's pretty much the only one thinking that. Others had to experience losing him time and time again. This was painful for everyone. But ultimately that is the way he chose to show his love, sacrificing himself to see the conclusion he'd always desired.
KDJ is often in denial of his own deep emotions, not being able to be vulnerable even just in front of himself. And even then, he decided to try to let everyone else have the best conclusion possible.
- Yoo Joonghyuk -
Yoo Joonghyuk's sacrifice was also very visible. You might think "well yeah, dummy, he endured 1864 regressions". While it comes to mind i don't do not consider this his self-sacrifice, not in this sense. While he did decide to regress in the 0th regression with hopes to meet KDJ again, his goal was also to learn about himself. His past, why his life is the way it is. Why did KDJ help him. I don't think it was in the name of the love. Not yet.
His sacrifice in 1864 arc was also not self-sacrifice. When YJH killed his avatar and decided to live. When YJH let his avatar kill himself and end his siffering. It was not for KDJ, it was for himself. He had hope he could be happy once again. He hoped he would find what he was looking for.
YJH's sacrifice was in the epilogue. Ah, finally I said it. But I truly believe that his sacrifice was large, and shouldn't be underplayed. He decided to regress with other people. Helped HSY write a book. Then underwent the mission of actually delivering the book. He did not know anything about how much time it would take him. Didn't know if it will even work. He would spend so much time, totally by himself, in a rocket in a space between worlds. Visiting different worlds. Hundreds? Thousands? Millions? Will that be enough? How would he know? It is terrifying but he was ready to pay that price if only it could save Dokja and therefore save KimCom in a sense. It was his dicision. And he decided that even if it will hurt him greatly it will be worth it. Even a small chance will be worth it. This was his sacrifice in the name of love. But there also was another factor - him wanting to ask KDJ "what now?". He believed in KDJ. And KDJ as well as the whole KimCom believed in him. And so he completed the mission.
- Han Sooyoung -
Always saved for last. Both in the book and in this note. She did so fucking much it's insane. I'm actually speechles when I think about it. Her self-sacrifice was of course writing books. 1864HSY wrote TWSA. 1865HSY wrote what we've read - ORV. She gave up her whole life to it. She gave up sleep and health, she felt the consequences for 13 years before the scenario. Then scenario struck. Was it her doing? Was she the perpetrator of this endless cycle? Was it her who allowed for so many people's pain, loss and death? Was it her who sacrificed a whole planet just for one person?Was her salvation also a grave? She didn't know if WOS would happen if she didn't write. But she decided to give up her life as well as everyone elses just to save one person. Just in case. She would rather lose a whole planet than this one frail boy she saw at the hospital. Then she wrote ORV. A love letter to her reader. She spent so much time just writing every time she got the chance. Again, she didn't know if writing this would be pointless. But she tried. She left her words on the wall, hoping that someone else might one day read it. She said that the story of how he was loved by all. The pebble, the flower, the twig, they all loved him because she did and she wanted him to know it. He was loved, he was important. The reader is supposed to feel hope to KDJ because she wanted him to. She said that it's not his fault. She said that in spite of everything, everyone still loves him. He's important. And with that very novel she spent all of her time on, she also managed to save YJH. He'd read the book numerous times in order to survive and he understood KDJ maybe just 1% better.
Through their self-sacrifice YHK saved each other time and time again. They love each other so much. Hoping and fighting for that one day, when they will achieve the end they all desired.
I think that's it. Sharing my thoughts on the internet is a bit stressful but I hope you enjoyed my little analysis. Thank you for reading!
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wesleysniperking · 2 days
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One Piece Film: Red and What It Meant for Usopp
Part 1 (TL;DR)
(beware spoilers!!!)
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I was catching up on the One Piece anime last night and a particular special, SP13 (aired a week before episode 1101) didn’t sit right with me. What bothered me was the lack of mention of Usopp (or even his alter ego, Sniper King).
The focus was on the CP9 agents, illustrating how far both the Straw Hats and CP9 (now CP0) had come. But the omission of Usopp’s significant contributions at Enies Lobby felt like a slap in the face.
Haters often consider Usopp and Sniper King as two separate individuals, ignoring that Usopp is the one behind Sniper King. It felt like reading a prejudiced abridged version (*cough cough* US History books *cough cough*) of a major historical event. They even omitted the part where Usopp inspired Luffy with his speech and told everyone to get on the Merry. It’s frustrating and disheartening, especially for those of us who are deeply invested in Usopp’s journey.
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This brings me to my main point regarding Usopp’s role in the Wano arc and the Onigashima battle. There’s a significant amount of criticism and ridicule aimed at Usopp for his performance in this arc. I believe he did great, providing crucial support and not being a sitting duck. Yet, many fans view him as useless and fodder, fixating on the toad oil cream incident (he didn’t do anything wrong) and his plea to Nami to lie about Toko’s condition (there’s nothing wrong with that, I’d avoid fighting someone head on too! That should be the last resort). And the whole thing where he also wanted her to lie and say Luffy won’t be pirate king (so she—a friend—wouldn’t bite the dust!).
Some fans argue that Usopp should have showcased his marksmanship more during the battle. They blame Usopp rather than acknowledging that this might be a flaw in Oda’s writing. They say that all the Straw Hats got their power-ups and moments to shine, but this isn’t entirely accurate.
Luffy achieved Gear 5, Sanji embraced his genetic enhancements, Zoro mastered Enma and burst his haki, Robin enhanced her Devil Fruit to defeat Black Maria, Brook showcased new abilities, Nami summoned Zeus, and even Jinbei, Chopper, and Franky had their (notable?) contributions. However, everyone besides the monster trio got only a small slice of the spotlight. Yet, some fans still defend the non-monster trio Straw Hats while putting Usopp down as if he’s a pariah.
When fans praise Wano and the Onigashima battle, it feels like being at a party where everyone had a great time except you. They continue to talk animatedly about their experiences while you sit there, knowing you had a terrible time. It’s disheartening.
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So, I had to look for a pick-me-up. I had to focus on what Wano and the Onigashima battle actually meant for Usopp. I needed to find the light at the end of the tunnel, hoping there’d be a light.
next part
Part 2
Part 3
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corvidjuice · 15 days
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Was gonna make a joke post about being brave when people talk about how hard highschool was bc of friend drama and exams, but actually I have a lot of thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes it feels really isolating to have struggled with severe mental health issues as a teenager. Not that exams and interpersonal problems aren’t difficult, but people know how to respond to those issues, you’ll get empathy and relating and the conversation continues. Whereas, in my experience, mentioning mental health issues often causes a lot of discomfort, overplayed pity, or just honestly shitty comments.
Of course I don’t expect people to know what to say or be mental health experts, but it does suck to not be able to refer to an entire chunk of my life. It’s not just a small detail in a story that I can omit, it IS the story. So, of course I try not to participate in the conversation, but when prompted to join, answering that I’m uncomfortable talking about it doesn’t feel that great or genuine to be honest (and harshes the vibes anyway). I want to talk about it, I want to connect and be open. I don’t want to hide things from my friends.
I thought after seeing a lot of ground being made in normalising and understanding mental health it would be ok to explain to friends how bipolar affected most of my teenage life and therefore my stressors were different, but I was met with “oh you don’t seem bipolar, I have a bipolar coworker and she’s crazy” and “but you’re on medication now right? you’re normal now” and “wdym it sucked, mania sounds so fun” (No?!?!?! Pls I don’t want to keep explaining that mania can include paranoia and psychosis and is not partying disease) or just any random story about a time someone with bipolar fucked their life up??? Which like ok, but can I finish my story first lol????
Thankfully sometimes another person with mental illness is there and we get to have a really lovely conversation, so everyone who mentions their mental health in these conversations I love you and you are literally a beacon for me regularly. Also I now have some wonderful friends who I can relate and talk to, which is amazing.
But ANYWAY I’m not sure what the point of this post is, I guess I just wish medical history and personal history weren’t so closely tied, or I wish that more people accepted and understood that they are.
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annymation · 4 months
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It's been awhile since I've done an ask in tumbler but it's time for me to slowly get out from my shy box. Anyways, these are questions for Aster:
1. How easy is it to earn his trust?
2. How easy is it to earn his mistrust?
3. Would he prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?
4. What memory does he revisit often?
5. How easy is it for him to ignore flaws in other people?
6. How sensitive is he to his own flaws?
7. How hard is it for him to shake a sense of guilt?
I hope these aren't too much to ask, i'm really really curious about Aster as a character 😅
1. That’s a tricky question because it really depends on the person he’s interacting with, since he can see people’s star’s, that is, their deepest desires and essentially their soul. So for example, he took one look at Magnifico’s star, that was actually a black hole, and now he doesn’t trust Magnifico’s at all, sure he might get tricked by the guy but he would never trust him. However, even people with good in their heart can do bad things, but Aster kinda blindly trusts people that have bright stars. So I’d say: if you’re anyone other than King Magnifico and Queen Amable, then yes it’s very easy to earn his trust.
2. Okay, let’s say you’re someone with a good heart and you did something bad to Aster… They’ll most likely still trust you later if you apologize. Aster sees the best in people and believes everyone can do better, so I’d say you’d have to screw up REEEEEAALLY badly to earn his mistrust, it’s very difficult.
3. Hmm that’s interesting 🤔 I’d say he’d prefer an unpleasant truth, although he omitted the truth about him knowing Asha her whole life for most of the story, Aster hates lies, that’s actually something I was gonna implement in the story as “A star thing” like, Aster would mention all stars hate lying, as a reference to how the Blue Fairy made Pinocchio’s nose grow every time he lied. And that’s also why he hates the king and queen so much, they always lie. Also, no matter how unpleasant a truth may be, he’d probably find the bright side in it.
4. His memories are mostly from watching people bellow, and mostly watching Asha. I’d say his favorite memory is seeing Asha reading story books with her grandfather, she did it often, but he loved listening to the fairytales.
5. Really easy.
6. I’d say he’s sensitive about them, but not too much, as in, they manage to work through them, but when the insecurities hit they REALLY HIT.
7. Aster hasn’t shown it that much but he still feels guilty about how that plan he had about singing at the plaza (chapter 9, which btw you guys should revisit, I updated the song they play, now there’s ACTUALLY a song and not just me describing it) so yeah he feels guilty that the plan kinda backfired, and he also feels guilty for not realizing Asha got captured right behind his back, those guilts are still in him, but he doesn’t let it show since he internalizes it all a lot, I was gonna make him show that guilt more in chapter 12 but then I realized that was too much of a downer and would make it feel like Aster was making himself more of the victim than Asha, when they both equally went through a lot. So I decided to keep those feelings of guilt more subtle and implicit.
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nottoofondofgaypeople · 5 months
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The whole Kiki and Zane situation
Major Content Warning for sexual assault, unwanted pregnancy, and lack of consent
Yeah this is a thing. That we need to talk about. I'm keeping the whole amulet thing the same, I actually have a lot of thoughts about these amulets, where they came from, and why they do what they do, but in this situation I think it works. But we are not going to gloss over this situation at all.
I am necessitating downtime after the first major fiasco with Zane. I literally don't know what happens after that but there is as much time as I want for characters to just process that whole fucking ordeal. Especially Kiki. Give her time to process the physical trauma of having a child under such extreme circumstances, maybe show her going to the Irene Statue to pray or getting healing potions from Zoey or eventually Lucinda to help her body deal with the after effects.
Let Kiki be emotional about it. Let someone ask her how she's doing and that time she can't lie about it. She can't hide the miserable look in her eyes. She's tried to hide this from Leona, she doesn't want her daughter to have to deal with the burden of her origin and what it did to Kiki, but deep down Kiki knows she can't stop that from happening. She knows Leona will always be affected by this and she's completely shaken at the mere thought of having to explain it to her later in life.
And let other characters express thoughts on this!! I feel like canon absolutely ignores a lot of characters feelings, especially people in Season 1 Phoenix Drop, and will just focus on a certain part of a series of events while ignoring or rarely bringing up another. Like I honestly forgot this whole subplot happened when I went in for a rewatch a year ago and was absolutely mortified by how little the story focused on a fucking traumatizing experience that it just shows on screen.
Garroth shows up at Kiki's barn because at this point, the jig is up. Everyone in Phoenix Drop knows who he is and who his brother is. And most people know he despises Zane and that Garroth is fundamentally a different person. But he still shoulders guilt for how bad it got for some people. Especially Kiki. He saw the way Zane looked at her, the way he fancied her. Even when he and Irena both warn her about Zane, Garroth still feels like he didn't do enough to prevent this.
He agonizes over how to talk to her and ends up pacing near the staircase up to her second floor while he tries to work it out. Garroth forgets that his armor is fucking LOUD and Kiki can hear him in her echoey ass barn, so she just yells at him to come upstairs and get this over with.
Garroth is eventually coaxed into revealing how guilty he feels about this happening. He starts to blame himself for it, and Kiki very quickly shuts that down. The only person at fault is Zane. There's no way Garroth could have known the depths of cruelty his brother would go to, and she doesn't want anyone being blamed for this other than Zane. She decided to keep Leona and raise her as her own, in spite of the man who helped create her.
Garroth apologizes for trying to shift the blame and resolves to instead ensure Zane isn't able to get that close to anyone he cares about. And he takes his role as Leona's uncle very seriously. For the time he gets to before the season 1 finale, Garroth often spends time around Kiki and Leona. Sometimes he'll baby sit so Kiki can get some rest, or he'll tell Kiki stories of what his youngest brother was like as a child. He quietly omits any mention of the middle brother.
Irena and Kiki have long talks about parenting and how Kiki plans to raise Leona. Irena keeps giving her this sad look, and Kiki admits that she's much more damaged than she lets on. But Irena has enough on her shoulders. Kiki admits that she's been processing a lot of this with Brendan and Donna, who she considers her very dear friends, and that while she's so happy Irena cares so much, it isn't her problem to worry about. She isn't allowed to blame herself for it, and she isn't allowed to try and take more onto her plate for Kiki's sake.
Gods I love Kiki so much. She's such an underrated character and I really want to explore her and other underutilized members of the village quite a bit more in this rewrite. Really make Phoenix Drop into the incredibly fucked up found family it was meant to be.
And let's be clear that even after 15 years, 15 years of healing, of loving, of having a life without Zane, of having a life with the daughter she adores, Kiki is still healing. There are scars on her stomach that will never go away. She's fairly confident she'll never be able to give birth again and has come to terms with that. She doesn't let herself be very intimate with people anymore, and anyone who knows her isn't pushy at all. They're just grateful that Kiki is incredibly strong and unbelievably stubborn.
One day Leona comes downstairs and some of her hair is covering her eye the same way Zane's did. Kiki tries to hide how tense and uncomfortable this makes her, asking Leona in a fairly roundabout way how she'd feel about a haircut. Even if Leona isn't fully aware of the situation at this point, she can tell that something's got her mom acting a little off. And the long hair is harder to maintain when she's trying to hunt.
Short hair Leona. That's it.
Even if it takes forever to get to this point, there's something fundamentally healing about Garroth getting to meet Leona. A lot has changed in the time he was gone, but Irena prepared him for a lot of it. What she couldn't have prepared him for is how it would feel to see a 15 year old Leona racing around the island chasing after some other kid like a feral beast. Like I'm so serious Garroth is so close to crying when he meets her.
Once Leona realizes who he is, she's ecstatic because she's heard so many stories about her uncle Garroth from her mom!! She's always wanted to meet him!! Garroth has a massive complex around his family and their impact on the lives of those around him, but when he gets to see how happy Kiki and Leona are, it kind of just melts away and he gets to spend an afternoon playing with his niece in the forest.
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honeybumpkins · 1 month
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What's the Narrator like in your swap AU?
OOOO hehehe!!
The Narrator is a cringefail little loser (he always has been.) He isn't too different in the au, he's still pro-monster murder, after all! It's just that now he is definitively my interpretation (which is what usually happens.) He's not a liar, per se, but he does omit things that could be considered important, like what the Long Quiet is actually going to do to the world (he just tells you he's going to kill it).
He is kind of this song to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4qaHpBz5M4
While it's not exactly him, a lot of the lyrics do fit with how he feels to me. He's not anxious, but he is frustrated and anguished. He believes what he is doing is right. And he believes what he is doing is going to save people.
He also isn't even on the Princess' side! The Shifting Mound is death, and he doesn't want that either! Though, he sees the Long Quiet as worse than her, which is why he's in the cabin and she isn't. The Long Quiet is not death like her, but he is the little deaths. Grief, longing, sickness. Whereas she is Love-- gentle, tender warmth, or bright passion, he too is love-- blinding infatuation, or cold, resentful love. And, where she is change, he is stagnation. The Narrator wants none of this, so he does what he does.
And he hopes that maybe the Princess will see it eventually, if she goes through with it.
The Narrator often thinks of the other people he's seen, the ones he's trying to save. He has moments where he wonders what he's doing, and he comes to the conclusion that there isn't a way to go about this that is 'honest', or good. He cannot remove one side of a coin in a way which preserves his morality. But, if the outcome means a happy existence for everyone, isn't this justified?
That's him!! He's my little loserboy! <3
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v3nusxsky · 1 year
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Hello, love! Hope you have a wonderful time today.
Can I request a multiverse fic where y/n (shoulder length hair, younger, slightly taller than lesso) is from the modern world and got picked by the storian to be the new professor for the newly combined school for a new subject (swords play + henchmen training), so she's neither an Ever nor a Never (if she did, she'd be a 60%Ever 40%Never reader). She's kind of a kind and playful tomboyish girl (daily wears, behaviour etc) but not above being cunningly evil while punishing students as she see fits which is how she caught Lesso's attention.
They've been bickering and bantering each other for a while now, y/n calling her Nora instead of Leo or Lady Dean instead of Lady Lesso like everyone else when she's teasing her, which Lesso secretly likes but will never admit it.
She reaches her breaking point on the night of the winterfest ball where y/n come wearing a suit looking hot and catching everyone's attention (ref: black haired Elaine Markinson). How/why she explodes is up to you (feeling is mutual btw).
You can also make it implied smut (bottom Lesso, she secretly love other people being in charge over her) and implied intersex y/n. Their nickname after being together is little raven for lesso and little pigeon for y/n.
I know this is pretty specific and might be hard for you but it's up to you if you want to omit certain details or to twist it up to your liking, I'm fine with anything!
I hope you dont find this like an essay homework or some sort 😂
Love the works you do, hun. Thank you so much for writing those stories.
-💜
Hey anon! I really enjoyed this request thank you so much for sending it and the details really helped. Thank you for your kind words I adore writing and knowing you all like what I write is the best feeling.
My very own Raven| NSFW
*Authors note~ I love how detailed this is and the descriptions just helped make this flow. I'm sorry about changing the word pigeon but I couldn't make it flow:(  I hope you enjoy this loves*
Trigger warning~ intersex reader, dominant r sub l
Prompt~ see ask^^
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Being from the Morden world, being picked to teach at the school for good and evil was a unheard of experience. Now for you this was a challenge you'd love to face head on but for it had caused some hassle from others in your life. The day you left was the day you finally felt free. Free to express yourself and be who you felt you should be.
The newly merged schools had a new list of classes for the students. Although joined, they still liked to separate themselves into their schools. Some traditions were made and some were formed. Instantly, you feel in love with the school and the students in it. But one lady in particular caught your attention. The one and only Lady Leonora Lesso.  Due to you being a new teacher you also had to be sorted into your side, however what was most concerning to everyone was that you didn't fit into either side fully. No you had come out being 60 % Never and 40% Ever. Luckily for you, you had a class that was joint of Evers and Nevers. Swords play and henchman training is what you were to be teaching the students and you couldn't help but feel the excitement bubble through you. Truly this was a subject that fascinated you and suited you down to the ground.
Truth be told you were often referred to as a tomboy, the clothes you wore tend to tight fitting pants and a top tucked into the pants. A nice pair of healed boots and your shoulder length hair was slicked back into a neat ponytail. The boots added to your height making you stand just a few inches above the Dean of Evil. The attire was absolutely perfect for your job. That provided you with the confidence you needed by making you comfortable in your own skin.
You normally held a quiet and sometimes shy demeanour, and your heart was full of kindness until the situation called for a harsher approach. Your students knew you to be fair but strict. That commanded them to mainly behave for you, but you had a few fun times where a student had overstepped, your punishment ensuring they wouldn't stray from the rules again. And those punishments are what lead to you to being in this game with the Dean. You had managed to get underneath her skin not that she would admit it, you challenged her and that was something she would not lose. You knew the effect you were having on the women watching as she glared hold in your head after you called her "Nora" instead of "Leo" or "Lesso" was exciting for you. How far would you be able to push her until she snapped?
That snap came on the night of the annual Winterfest ball. You had opted to wear a black tight fitting suit. The outfit highlighted your assets perfectly, the crisp white blouse had just enough buttons undone for the black lace of your bra to peak through. Your hair in its signature ponytail, and a black blazer that buttoned up just underneath your cleavage. The outfit paired with some nice heals and a beautiful chunky necklace. Your makeup was light, not something that anyone had seen you since your arrival. You knew you looked good, you felt confident and comfortable and that showed as you strode into the ballroom.
Eyes instantly drawn to you, as you strutted across the room to grab a drink. Slyly you snuck a glance in the direction of Lesso, pleased to see her eyes were trained on you, seemingly devouring you then and there. The gaze was anything but pure and that made  you shiver in desire. Deciding to really push it tonight you made sure to swirl your drink in your hand before taking a sip keeping eye contact with the women before sending her a cheeky wink. Next, when you were sat you made sure to sit a little unlady like, hands resting on your inner thigh as you caught her gaze once more. This time you rolled your eyes as a cue. You were bored. And quite frankly you wanted her to make a move, this cat and mouse game of bickering and one upping each other was great. But having her in a bed, you could think of many other games you truly desired to play with the women.
Something snapped in Lesso as a Ever staff member boldly flirted with you. You were hers. Well you weren't but you should be! And she was going to make damn sure you would be hers. So she approached alluding her usual sexy confident aura. The Ever teacher soon scampered away in fear of the red head. Which allowed her to drag you out of the hall and towards your chambers. Yours were closest and truthfully neither of you could wait any longer. All the teasing now overwhelming you with an unholy desire.
Your secret was hard to hide. It was rather thick and long standing proudly to attention with your need for the older women. You felt her gasp when her hand found it. With a quick glance you saw how the lust clouded her beautiful irises and she mumbled, "is that um a"you cut her off with a kiss to stop the stuttering words, her thoughts failing her as she battled with the newly found desire to be taken by you. Normally dominant, Lesso was surprisingly a innocent submissive in the bedroom and her discovery only made that need more poignant. "I'm intersex Nora" you whispered when you pulled away for air. The fear of rejection you felt was quickly squashed as a moan tumbled from her lips at the thought. You smirked. "You like it Nora" you whispered in her ear causing her to nod enthusiastically. "Please god please fuck me" she moaned for you, submitting instantly to you. "With pleasure" you mumbled before claiming her lips once more and backing her onto the bed.
It was safe to say, you'd never experienced sex to be like that. You had brought her to paradise so many times and normally that's all you'd do is pleasure your partner, but no Leonora had surprised you by sinking to her knees and taking your impressive length in her mouth. Being intersex meant you still required the protection and you did take those precautions but the older women had really made you climax more than once meaning you'd used your stash up now. That's the only reason you decided to stop for the night and settle into bed together. Lesso snuggled up onto your chest absolutely spent from the multiple orgasms you had bestowed on her. "Are you alright little raven?" You murmured before dropping kisses into her gorgeous locks. "Mmm my dove I'm perfectly well thank you my love" she whispered back dropping kisses to your bare chest as she fought sleep. Here in this moment you knew you'd found your forever despite the fact it wasn't perfect, you both would make mistakes but at the end of the day, you never wanted to lose this.
Word count ~ 1525
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