#shitposts for the soul; crack | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-hazbeens · 2 months

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❝ No time for cryin',

We've got a lot of work to do. ❞

A system ran multi-muse blog for various characters from Hazbin Hotel, as sinned by the Flavors Of Entanglement system. 21+, semi-selective but open to all. 10+ years of experience!!!

Follows from @earthnicity

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braisedhoney · 6 months

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i draw these two idiots being functional and scary too often.

#utdr #utdr fanart #deltarune #deltarune fanart #wd gaster #gaster fanart #utdr soul #utdr player #utdr player soul #the idea that if they Freak Out Hard Enough the soul starts cracking is very funny to me anyway enjoy the shitpost #ney’s art #ney’s comics #the way i had to physically stop myself from over rendering this LMAO

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thedarkmongoose · 1 year

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yeah, these two faces totally say “platonic relationship”

#btw hugh meant 'platonic' as in plato (philosophy)#plato's symposium #love unites souls #all that #he a troll #hannigram #hannibal memes #hannibal meta #hannibal shitpost #hannibal crack #hannibal x will #hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #murder husbands

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infinite-orangepeel · 1 year

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oops accidentally leaked my valentine’s day plans !!

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madmanwonder · 2 months

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Prompt

Kiba X Maka

Crossover Crack Ship Meme

Kimaka

Kiba Inuzuka:

X

Maka Albarn:

#naruto #soul eater #maka albarn #kiba inuzuka #meme post #meme prompt #crossover au #crossover au prompt #crossover shitpost #crossover ship #crack ship #crossover crack ship meme #crossover crack ship #shipping post #shipping prompt #Kimaka

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amischiefofmuses · 2 months

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Alastor, contently pecking a loving kiss to his partner's head: I will see you later, sweetheart.

Partner, sleepily making a big mistake: Mm, love you

Alastor, probably: Disgusting. Goodbye. I've always hated you and you're ugly. Perish, maybe?

#Shitposts For The Soul || Crack #Humming Static || Alastor #hazbin hotel cw

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 10 months

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Yang: Hey, Granny Weiss! Can you pass the sugar?

Weiss: Excuse you?!

Ruby: Nana Weiss, can you pass the cream?

Weiss: What?!

Blake: Grandmama Weiss, are you done with your coffee mug? I can clear it for you.

Weiss: Et tu, Blake?! What is going on?!

Blake: We're just teasing you for being an old soul.

Weiss: I am not an old soul!

Ruby: You kind of are, babe.

Weiss: Prove it!

Yang: Sing the first song that pops into your head.

Weiss: (blushing) 🎶 Ring~ Ring~Ring~ Ring~ Banana Phone 🎶

#yang xiao long #blake belladonna #ruby rose #weiss schnee #white rose #weiss is an old soul #rwby crack post #rwby shitpost

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hinatashoyoumytits · 3 months

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if i had a nickel for every time i fell in love with a boy that swallowed evil entities, i’d have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

#geto #anime shitpost #jujutsu kaisen shitpost #shitposts #jujutsu kaisen #jjk crack #soul eater #soul eater crack #soul eater funny #geto suguru #suguru geto

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sailorsenshishitposter · 4 months

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Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?

Warning for cursed smut and improper use of magnets aka sounding

You heard a noise and noticed that your phone had went off. You checked it and saw that it was your boyfriend messaging you on discord. "Hey kitten, I was just looking at the green m&m and thought of you. Do you want to be daddies little pogcham tonight?" You eagerly responded back "Sure babe. I'm coming over to your place right now." Your phone went off again. "Don't forget to bring Doritos and mountain dew. Being the epic gamer that I am, I'm in constant need of gamer fuel." You decided to stop by Wal-Mart on the way.

You eventually arrived at Monsoon's place. You knocked on his door and he soon opened it. "Welcome to my gamer pad! Oh, you brought the Doritos, thanks babe." You closed the door and then watched him sit down in one of those chairs designed for gaming. He then took out a vape pen. "How about a smoke?" You passed on the offer. "Alright, more for me." He then took a fat rip on the juul. "What a minute, this is red phosphorus." You were sure that vape pens had destroyed what little brain cells your boyfriend had left.

You sat across from him on a bean bag chair. "So any plans for tonight?" He stroked his metallic chin. "I was going to pwn noobs on fortnight but now that you're here, I have a better plan." He detached his arms so that he could pick you up and bring you to his bedroom. You noticed all the posters of the joker. "I take it you're a fan?"

He soon seemed like he was deep in thought. "We live in a society. Gamers rise up." You were confused. "Memes! The DNA of the soul! Let me show you." He went on spotify and selected Miracles by insane clown posse. He then sat next to you on the bed. "Fire, water, air and dirt. Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?" You had no clue what was happening. "Babe, you have electromagnesis powers." He blushed. "Oh yeah."

"How about I give you a demonstration?" He detached his hands and sent them flying. They soon pinned your wrists to the bed. "I need to show you something." He took of his helmet. On his forehead in place of a cyborg barcode were the words "DAMAGED" in large letters. You were turned on. "That's so hot." He chuckled. "Glad to hear you think so."

He climbed on top of you and gave you butterfly kisses. Or he would have if he still had eye sockets. He had small tubes protrude outwards so it was like being felt up by a snail. He called his hands back. "Let's see what we"re working with!" He took off your pants and noticed that you were wearing a thong with nothing but a minion on it. He then took them off. "That reminds me, I'll need to send these to Karen on Facebook. We'll see who has the better minion memes now!"

He saw your large member and then was reminded of his beloved Steve Rambo. He placed his hand on your length and began to quote one of said man's films. "It gets bigger when I pull on it." You couldn't believe that he was doing this right now. You wanted to complain but he gagged you with the minion thong. "Sometimes I pull so hard, I rip the skin!"

You let out a moan of pain. "Does it hurt!?" your boyfriend asked mockingly. You gave him a look and he relented. "Fine. And I was just getting to the good part!" He took the gag out. "Hey kitten, remember when I asked if you wanted to learn about magnets?" You nodded. "Well I think it's time."

He pulled out a box of magnetix. "I've been hoarding these since the recalls. Now I can put them to good use!" He took out some magnetic balls. "Ever heard of sounding?" You watched as he pushed a magnet down your urethra. Damn. You really hadn't been expecting that. He then started to place some more marbles down and you could hear them clink together. Eventually it become long enough for a chain to form.

He tried to pull it out but there was a problem. "Shit!" You glanced over. "What's wrong?" It turns out that the magnets had become stuck to his hand. If he tried to lift his hand then your dick would be pried off. "I have an idea." He detached his arm and then left the room. He returned with some emp grenades. "Hopefully this should work. Here goes nothing!" He pressed the trigger and his body soon fell apart like sliced meat. "Fuck."

You tried to put your boyfriend back together but it was no use. "Just get the magnets out before the grenade goes to waste!" To your horror, nothing came out. "WHAT SHOULD I DO!" You were panicking. "How the hell should I know, it's not like I have a dick myself to practise on!" You screamed.

"Wait! What about an operation!" You groaned. "Are you telling me that I need to go to the hospital!?" He shook his head (while it was still on the floor so he looked like a dying fish on land). "No silly, we'll do it here. Just think of it like that board game, operation." You fainted on the spot. "Well that takes care of needing to knock you out!"

Sometime after Monsoon's body had formed back together, he had placed his shower curtain on the bed and then laid you on it. "How do children these days even play this?" He was looking through an operation manual. For some reason he decided to pick up the shrek edition. "Screw this, I'll just perform it myself!" He then took out his sais. "Alright, I'll just make an insertion here and then move this out of the way." He found the magnets pooled in your insides but now there was a new problem. "How am I supposed to put you back together?"

It was a few days later and you woke up on your boyfriends bed, smelling of cheeto dust. "What happened....?" You soon noticed Monsoon who was wearing a slutty nurse uniform. "Ah, good. You're awake. Would you like the good news or bad news first?"You swallowed nervously. "Good news please."

"Well I was able to remove all the magnets from your body so that situations solved. And here's the bad news.. I didn't have the tools to sew you up so for now I put a makeshift cock ring around your genitals to hold everything in place. My powers are currently holding it together but you should really get to a hospital..."

You broke down. You were never hooking up with old men you met on 4chan again.

#monsoon x reader #monsoon mgr #mgrr #metal gear rising revengeance #cursed #shitpost #i'm going to hell #crack fic #memes #DNA of the soul #mgr

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team-leo-v · 2 years

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#ml crack #ml shitpost #adrichat #i guess #kalat #miraculous ladybug #.........#Ladynette #for the soul

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downtherabbitholewithlucy · 1 year

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I'm in a silly mood so I'm listening to "My Band" by D12 on repeat (as one should) and I can't help but imagine the guys in Limp Bizkit in each of the scenarios described in the song and I've been fucking laugh my ass off.