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#so many ideas have been put into existence. anyway time to go to work i hope i get to put together the rooms i took apart
aihoshiino · 3 days
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chapter 147 thoughts
you guys ever hear the tale of the monkey's paw. grants your wish but you suffer dire consequences as a result? just felt relevant to this chapter for some reason. anyway.
Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Completely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 4
I'm gonna be up front and say that while I really wanted to like this chapter and it has the bones of interesting ideas, so many of the existing issues with the Movie Arc just bring it crashing back down. I probably dislike it more than I necessarily should because knowing that this definitely is the end and seeing concretely in hindsight just how much time was wasted and how much excellent material has been squandered or flat out skipped over entirely just makes me want to put my head through a brick wall. And it just sucks because, like… man, I don't want to dislike Oshi no Ko! I really don't enjoy feeling like I'm just putting negativity out each chapter because when the story hits, it hits so fucking good!! The Movie Arc has been clunky but it's had some truly breathtaking individual moments and character beats that make me remember why I fell in love with the series so deeply but then chapters like this come along and I wonder why I'm even bothering to keep reading.
anyway. Anyway.
To my genuine shock and surprise, the RBHK conversation happens entirely onscreen and isn't needlessly dragged out which I will take as a W at this point. What is less of a W is how just… underwhelming this ended up being? This is Hikaru's first meeting (that we know of) with the child he fathered and then essentially orphaned… at least as far as Ruby is concerned. So her total lack of reaction to him is baffling. The question currently seems to be whether Ruby is only pretending not to recognize him in order to try and pry the answer she's looking for out of him or whether Akasaka really, genuinely wants me to believe that Ruby does not recognize her father, when Akane recognized him on sight, he looks identical to her twin brother she spent 18 years growing up with and she is in the middle of MAKING A MOVIE THAT STARS HIM. If the latter is the intent then all I can say is that I feel genuinely fucking insulted on Ruby's behalf at her being dumbed down this badly and for myself as a reader that Akasaka thinks I'm stupid enough to buy this. So I am very much hoping it's the former.
The talk they go onto have is also………………………….. man. I want to like it. I really want to pull it apart and analyze it because it is fascinating. It's a really important look into Ruby's feelings and I even myself said this was something I really wanted to see Ruby dealing with - being faced with the realization that the person who killed her mother isn't some ephemeral faceless force of uncomplicated evil, but a fucked up human being who was hurt and suffering and who faced horrific and monstrous abuse just like Ai did. The idea of Ruby wrestling with her conflicting feelings of empathy and resentment, similar to Kana trying to reconcile her lingering hurt with her love for Ruby as her friend, is super compelling.
But like… she didn't! Akasaka having Ruby look into the camera and having her say "uhhh i was totally having all these deep and complicated feelings this whole time trust me bro" is the first we have heard Ruby struggle with literally any of this. It's yet another example of what I've been saying this whole time of Akasaka both lacking enough respect for Ruby to seriously interrogate her as a character and rushing her to the endpoint of what should have been long term characterization in lieu of showing us the work it takes to get there. Rather than organically weaving any of this into the prior story and letting us actually see Ruby work through this, she just starts awkwardly monologing about it to a conveniently placed guy who is, depending on your interpretation of the chapter, either some rando with an umbrella or the guy she's pretty sure killed her mom.
There is no reason her struggling to reconcile these contrasting feelings of resentment and empathy couldn't have been explored as the movie was being filmed. There were countless opportunities for this to have come up while the movie was filming the scenes dealing with Hikaru's abuse - we even get this set up in 139 during the filming of their first meeting but it gets derailed by a dumb brocon joke because I guess that was more important to spend pagetime on than the arc Akasaka is trying to suddenly pretend Ruby was having.
And it's not like it even matters! Unless the next arc is also going to be about 15 Year Lie where we interrogate the content of the movie not shown to us, Ruby's struggle here comes to nothing. That overhanging question of "Will Ai('s actress) forgive her killer or not?" is cut short and goes unanswered. So what was the point of this?
I also just really can't get my head around this continued thread of Ruby wanting to be an idol who 'surpasses' Ai. I had a whole rant about it here I ended up deleting lol but the long and the short of it is it feels entirely incongruous with the series' broader portrayal and Ruby's own attitude about chasing Ai's light and what being an idol did to Ai but at this point I've given up.
The exchange with Kamiki that follows is like, the one part of this chapter I think is just uncomplicatedly interesting and worth interrogation. He actually gives Ruby a lot of genuinely good advice here - that she can only find an answer to that question by interrogating it herself and an answer from someone else won't solve the issue. Does she actually want suffering and revenge? Are those really at the core of who she is as a person?
The framing here is obviously and overtly sinister and suspicious and we're pretty clearly supposed to think he was about to shove Ruby down the stairs, but a few things jumped out to me. The first is that if you pay attention to the backgrounds, they seem to have actually already been close to if not at ground level by the time Akane caught up to them, so… what exactly was a push from that height going to do if he did, in fact, push her?
Not only that but uh… holy shit! His white hoshigan!!!!
Like, am I misremembering, or is this not the one and only time we have ever seen adult Hikaru - maybe even the real Hikaru full stop - without black hoshigans??? Given what we've seen of him so far and how the black hoshigans have been used as a symbol, if he really was about to kill Ruby… where did THAT come from?
Added together with the deeply sympathetic portrayal of his younger self in the movie, it continues to raise a lot of questions for me as to exactly what we're supposed to be thinking of Hikaru and how we're supposed to feel about him that I am finding very compelling. ambiguity enjoyers when the
NINO IS HERE!!!! MISS NINO I'M FREE THURSDAY NIGHT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT
Joking aside, I'm really glad Nino is here because it implies her whatever the fuck is going on situationship with Kamiki is going to continue into the final arc(s?) of the series and that we'll get to see more of her as a result. Nino's been one of my favourite OnK characters since I first read 45510 so any more content of her in the main story is a treat.
Kamiki's words about the movie killing him via public opinion also lines up with what I was expecting to happen more or less… I'm curious to see how this is all going to play out and what this means for Aqua given that, if last chapter is anything to go by, he's still very much struggling with suicidal ideation. can someone PLEASE give my son a bone crushing hug.
akane stalking kamiki is up there as one of the funniest things ever in this manga btw. what is wrong w her <3
This is unfortunately where me having nice things to say about this chapter ends because the chapter - and therefore the Movie Arc as a whole - ends with this transparently rushed sequence absolutely mach speech blasting through the remaining material of the movie in one and a half's pages worth of silent single panels. Honestly, I really can't properly articulate how mad and frustrated I am about this lmao. It really just feels like Akasaka admitting to the reader that he's stopped giving a shit about what the movie was supposed to be about. The HKAI breakup that was given a huge amount of setup and weight at the start of filming? Ai's pregnancy? AI'S DEATH???? It's all skipped over and brushed aside as if it never mattered in the first place. Never mind any of the interesting characterization we could've gotten out of it. Never mind that the Movie Arc was promised to be about Ai and untangling her past. Never fucking mind Ruby having literally any interiority about having to act out the death of her beloved mother and reliving the event that destroyed her and her brother's lives. If Akasaka doesn't care, why should I?
It feels like a slap in the face for getting invested in the story's promises and trying to engage with it. But of course, I'm going to be back like a clown doing just that when the next chapter drops anyway.
at least we're finally moving on to a new arc but by god. at what fucking cost.
break next week……………………………………………..
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automatonknight · 8 months
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here's the prick i was talking about^ i have so many thoughts and notes about him but they're mostly incomprehensible so when i organize maybe them i'll post them who knows
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A Week (He Will Take You)
~
Danny moved to Gotham for school, while there he noticed that Gotham's ambient ecto was really murky for lack of a better word.
This didn't really affect him too much besides a mild headache every once in a while but that also just might be stress from all his school work so maybe not.
Anyway
This murky ecto seemed to effect the people who lived there or more importantly the ghosts,
They were visible to the human eye like most ghosts back in Amity but instead of looking very much like a ghost they still looked like humans if a bit off putting.
They all seemed to be continuing their normal lives as if still fully alive, with the people around them none the wiser.
Danny noticed this and began approaching them to figure out what was going on.
Apparently the murky ecto in the city had made it so that they were strong enough to still continue a somewhat normal life but not be able to cross over to the GZ.
In other words they were stuck in Gotham
Danny was the Ghost King so he could easily fix this problem, all he needed to do was give them a bit of pure ecto for around a week to fully stabilize them them then he would just open a portal into the GZ and they could cross over with all their things also transferring into the GZ for their new haunt.
Unfortunately this looked rather worrying to an outsider,
Imagine you're used to your neighbor being very outgoing so you and others see them a lot suddenly this man seems to appear in their life out of nowhere an at exactly one week, your neighbor and all their belongings in their home disappear no trace to be found.
You tell people and they begin saying the same story they knew someone and them a man with black hair and blue eyes appeared in their life, then they and all their things disappear in exactly one week.
Of course the police in Gotham do the bare minimum so they're no help.
But it starts to begin a trend, especially online.
"Oh careful or the blue eyed man will make you disappear in a week"
This of course after time catches the bats attention, Gordon had already given them all the information he had.
"Young adult early twenties, dark hair, blue eyes"
That was it.
The bats look into it and from their point of view Danny is a serial killer.
But they can't find the connection between all of his victims, they range from young children and the elderly from different backgrounds absolutely no connection,
Worrying enough he doesn't just make one person disappear he has taken entire families up to over a dozen, without anyone figuring out how he's doing it or why at all.
The disturbing thing also being that he seems to take everything in their home, leaving it like it has always been empty
Like no one had been living in it.
People have tried to take photos of Danny get some kind of evidence of his existence, but when they try to do it, it either comes out completely corrupted or their devise simply shuts down fully.
Danny of course has no clue what is happening he's just happy that he's able to help so many ghosts, and is trying not to fail his exams.
~
Danny leaving the house he just helped: "That went easier than I expected!"
Neighbor peeking from the window: "Shit it's that guy! "
~
Red Hood marching down into the cave: " The fucker took many from my territory without me even realizing it!"
~
Tim: "I'm pretty sure his kill count is nearing the hundreds and he just started like maybe 4 months ago, this is bad."
Barbara: " I think I got a theory, this matches up with the new school year beginning so maybe their not a Gotham native which narrows down my suspect list."
Bruce: "Hn."
Tim: "Yes thank you B for the insightful commentary"
~
Danny trying not to fall asleep while on his way to class: "Strange I keep seeing shadows following me, oh well must be the stress!"
Bats who are pretty sure Danny is the killer: "Has he done anything suspicious yet?"
~
Just an Idea
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ambrosiagoldfish · 2 months
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Can you write more Adam fics plz there so freaking good
Benefit of the Doubt PT.2
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Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Viewer discretion is advised
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff to Angst to comfort, General Adam TW’s, Reader lowkey-highkey has a complex about being loved, Panic attack (I’m not even sure if this is correct term or not), Adam is afraid of heights (makes sense in story) This is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader (Y/n is once again not used lol)
Part 1 Part 3
Request Box: Open
Word count: 3136
A/N: Hi! I’d like to Thank you all for the love and support on Part 1! It means a lot that you all enjoyed it as I loved writing it! I’d also like to apologize for this being a week late, I honestly had 0 idea on how to start this one and then a bunch of stuff in my life happened, so it was a mess.
So as an apology I tried to make this one longer than the first! (I seemed to go a little overboard but it’s fine)
Anyways I hope you all enjoy part 2 to ‘Benefit of the doubt’ and as always, if you do, please tell me if want another part in replies/requests/DM’s!
Proofread but of course could have missed something
Tags: @tired-of-life-86
To think love could feel this good.
You were made for it, to give it, receive it… You’ve waited your entire existence for this love, This closeness. It doesn’t even feel real now, even as you’re walking down the golden lined streets of heaven with his arm wrapped around you, all while you’ve been showing him around. The best places to eat, entertainment, or just a nice park. You made sure to show him all of it.
He kept his wings tucked to his sides, the gold contrasting with the white of his robe. The feathers at first glance looked sharp, but now, being so close to him, you could see each of them individually and how soft they must be.
“Hey Sweetcheeks, my eyes are up here”
You jump slightly “Sorry… Adam.” You avert your eyes away from him and focus them in front of you.
Adam laughed “I didn’t say you had to fuxkin’ to stop”
His wings truly were beautiful. It was hard to keep your eyes off them. Adam had only got to heaven recently, it made you wonder if he had the chance to use them yet. You remember when you were first created, wings took forever to get used to. You crashed and fell so many times before you figured out how to use them
Properly.
“Ok seriously, you keep staring, what the fxck is up with you?”
“It’s nothing, just…. Have you tried out your wings yet?”
“Uh, yeah totally, they’re rad as hell” Adam’s voice drifted off, the LED eyes of his mask looking away from you as you both walked. Was he… lying? Why would he lie?
You quickly walked in front of Adam, leaving his warm embrace, gently you took his hands as your wings picked you off the ground. The gust of wind with each flap softly blew around you.
“Well, come on, it will be faster than walking.” Your voice was soft and airy. Slowly, so very slowly, you lifted yourself higher from the ground, Adam’s hands locked firmly in yours, as he was pulled with you in the air.
“W-Wait a- shit- Wait a- motherfuxking second“ Adam yelled strand after strand of curses as you both lifted further and further into the air. His body flailed and his legs kicked against nothing. You pull him to you, his arms quickly snake around your waist, holding on for his dear After-life.
“Adam… did you lie to me?” Your voice was still so soft, so calm, so sweet.
“Fuck- yes I lied, I’m sorry, so put me the fuck down you crazy asshole-“ Vulgar as ever, his voice had fear in it, the LED eyes were forced shut and his grip around you was getting tighter and tighter.
Your arms wrapped around Adam’s head as you laid back, letting The wind breeze from the air pull and push you along its path with your wings soaring through the clouds..
“Adam, it’s ok, I promise you’re fine, all you have to do is open your eyes.”
You pet the back of his neck trying to sooth him which seemed to work after a few seconds. Adam didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to open his eyes. But the longer he kept them close, the more you would whisper soft words of encouragement to him. Eventually, his eyes slowly but surely opened.
“See? There is nothing to be scared of. I’ve got you.”
You hold him closer in your embrace. Adam looked below, the white vastness of heaven’s clouds beneath you both felt unreal, but as amazing a sight it was, Adam’s grip on you didn’t loosen.
“So… I’m guessing you don’t know how to fly yet?” You laugh a little, rubbing a spot on his back, just between his wings comfortingly.
Adam huffed and looked away “oh! I couldn’t fxcking see that!”
You held him close to you. The embrace seemed never ending, and you loved every second of it. Feeling the warmth of his plump body next to you was like a dream come true.
“Here let me just…”
You moved your hands slowly down his arms, caressing the soft flesh as they moved to eventually be at his hands behind you. You began to leisurely undo the grip he had around you.
“What do you think you're doing-“
“Shhh, relax, just trust me, ok?”
With each finger being removed from you, the grip lessened bit by bit, until eventually his hands were fully in yours. Your face leaned closer to his,
“Come on, just give your wings a good flap, trust me.”
“Ugh…. Fine but I swear to god if you let go-“
“I won’t.” Your voice was firm, yet still remained reassuring.
Adam didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t want to. But what other choice did he have? He gruffs and extends his wings from his body. The wind brushed and tickled at his feathers. The way the light hit them caused a glare of gold to be cast from them, enveloping you both. Then, he gave two hard flaps of his wings, he lifted up slightly before quickly falling back to where he was.
“There you go! Now keep doing that.”
Adam continued, his wings slowly pushing him up and up before being sent back down when he stopped. This repeated for a few minutes until he finally got a grip on it. The entire time, you were laughing. Pure unadulterated laughs of joy.
Truly, to think love could feel this good?
“See? You're a natural!”
“Of course I am! I’m the Original Dick, obviously I’d… be good at this… flying… shit.” With all the parading he was doing he kept forgetting to use his wings causing him to fall. ‘A natural’ may have been an overstatement on your part, but hey? At least he hasn’t fallen flat on his face yet!
Gently, you led him through air, giving him reassurance every few feet you flew, never letting go. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours. Before you knew it a brisk orange sunset encased you both with its hue. That’s when you realized just how long you both had been flying.
“You must be tired with sightseeing all day… I think it’s time we go home and rest, yeah?”
“Home?” Adam’s voice sounded for a moment genuinely confused. Had he not been told he’d have a place to live in heaven? As much respect you had for Sera, you’ll have to file a complaint to avoid this with future souls.
You gripped his hand and opened your wings letting the wind lead you through the clouds and above the city. The angels below look like ants at the height you both were. It was peaceful, the flight back home. But it did seem… off? So… quiet? You couldn’t put it together, at least not at the moment, But Adam hadn’t spoken a word since you both left.
Adam, while yes, he was initially confused, it made sense to him, why wouldn’t heaven have a place for its people, a place for each of them to relax, to feel safe, happy, at home.
Home was such a weird word for Adam. Has he ever felt like a place was his ‘home’? The closest thing to it was the Garden of Eden but even that proved to be anything but a home for him. Ever since that snake entered his garden.
No. He can’t think about that now. He doesn’t want to have to think about that again. But oh-do thoughts love to worm their way back into your mind when you least want them to. He’s snaps out of his thoughts when your voice picks up
“Ok, we’re here! Just get yourself settled in and I’ll go make us something to eat. I didn't really know what food you’d like so I mainly just have junk food… I hope that's ok.”
Adam nods his head nonchalantly
You smile, waking him over to the small, plush couch in the living room and handing him a blanket and some pillows. Telling him to wait a second as you fetch some food, leaving him alone.
Adam thought your house seemed welcoming enough, ‘well… our house’ Adam thought. The living room was dark aside from a few luminous lights around the room as well as the small blue gleam from the windows from the night sky.
The couch was comfortable and the pillows just as much. And the blanket you gave him was soft and warm. This really was heaven, huh?
His thoughts are, once again, interrupted by your voice, “Ok here we go, I’ve got snacks and some soda” you say, handing him some of the many food you ravaged from your fridge and sitting beside him, wrapping yourself in the shared blanket.
Grabbing the remote lying next to you, you flick on the TV flipping through the channel before ending on a cheesy sitcom, you keep the volume low wanting to enjoy any conversation with Adam. Except… he never started one. So that’s what felt off.
The entire time you flew back home, got snacks and found something to watch. He hadn't said a word. You may not have known him long but even you had already picked up that he was an advid talker in a conversation.
“Is… everything ok Adam?” You whispered, not want to scare him with your random words.
“What kind of question is that, I’m fxcking fine… I’m fine.” His voice trailed off at the end almost getting as quiet as yours.
“Are you sure cause-“
“I said I’m fuxking fine!” His voice roared through the dark room. Gritty and callous, but you could tell it was meant to hide something. Something he didn’t want you to see.
“I’m sorry…” you paused. What did you want to say from here? What could you say? You took a deep breath and tried to continue. “I… I know I said this earlier… when Sera left.”
Adam’s LED mask looked away from you half shut eyes and a frown forming a scowl on it, but still he let you continue.
“But I’m going to say it again anyways cause… I mean it. I’m really happy to have you here. To finally have you home” you place your arm around Adam’s back rubbing it soothingly as let your head slowly lax onto him, gently cuddling close to him.
That word again… home. That’s all he could think about ever since he first heard you say it. Why? Why couldn’t he get it out of his head? His breathing was becoming unsteady with each new thought and image his brain made. Lilith and Eve, they were made to be apart of his home, for him to be apart of their homes. So why? Why did it end that way?
Suddenly Adam leap from the couch as fast as he could, the shear force knocking you to the other side of the couch, sending the food to scatter and drinks to spill to the floor.
“Adam!?” Your voice was frightened at the sudden movement. Adam looked just as frightened as you, at least from what you could tell through the LED mask. He suddenly began running, where? he didn’t know, the rooms in the house looked the same. But all he knew is that he needed to be away from you. You followed quickly behind him and pleaded for him to tell you what was wrong, but eventually he ran into a room and locked the door.
He looked around, already out of breath. He was in a bathroom. He felt his knees give out under him as he tried to slowly sit down by the tub. His breath heavy, it was hard to breathe, this stupid mask. He needed it off. But just as he went to do so,
*rattle rattle rattle*
The doorknob began to move followed by frantic knocking on the door.
“Adam! Are you ok?!” Your voice pleaded through the wood of the door.
“Fuxk- I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you that shit” his voice cracked a few times followed by a strand of curses leaving his lips.
Home. The word repeated like a mantra in his head. Like it was mocking him. Was he not meant to have a place he called a home? To have someone to return to, who would tell him “welcome back!” Without even being told to?
Lilith hated him, Eve betrayed and hurt him like no one else before, ever. They were made to be with him, one was literally made to be his other half. The garden, his home, was taken from him because of something, someone he couldn’t control. it all comes back to him. That albino snake in the grass.
Lucifer, ‘The dreamer’… was this some sort of game to him? To toy with his emotions, treat him like some kind of plaything to mess with, to screw over? What kind of life was it? To have every opportunity and opening be broken down by him, And Adam being powerless to stop it?
“Adam! Please open the door!” Your voice was even more frantic now, knocking every few seconds before it quickly quieted down. Your body slumped against the door.
“Adam… I’m sorry if I hurt you or… or if I was going too fast… I didn't mean to… I’m so sorry…” your breath hitched with tears.
And then there was you.
You have been nothing but kind to him since you met him. You showed him around heaven, taught him how to fly and welcomed him home without having being told to. You were so different. So, so very different. Adam figure that out a while ago now. But in reality, it’s exactly why he was terrified.
To have someone who loves him so... unconditionally.
*click*
The sound of the door unlocking drew your attention and was followed by it slowly opening from Adam on the other side, still on the floor.
“Adam!” Your voice was low, already tired from crying. You crawled your way toward him before stopping in front of him, tears still falling from your face, “I’m sorry Adam, I’m sorry-“ you were cut off by a quick movement.
Warmth enveloped you, clouding your senses as a soft weight laid onto you. Arms wrapped their way around you in an embrace.
“Shit- it's not your fault, it was never your fault…” Adam’s voice was surprisingly soft, a stark contrast to his regular tone. Sincerity evident with each word. All you could do was hide into his large frame and cry at the words.
Adam was never good at comforting people. He himself was never comforted, so the concept was more than a bit foreign to him. But even still, he tried. Slowly he helped you both up from the bathroom floor and made your way back to the couch.
The floor was covered in the discarded food you both left behind. The spilled soda is now dried and sticky. Crumbs everywhere.
“Here.. let me get a mop and broom-“
“No just sit down, I’ll clean up the shit I made” you lay down on the couch and watched as Adam swept and mopped the mess from the floor. The entire time the silence hung in the air by a thread. Neither of you wanting to be the one to snap the string and speak.
Finally Adam got done cleaning the mess and made his way to the couch. He sat down and gestured for you to come closer. Crawling over to him, he wrapped the blanket around you both allowing you to snuggle into him.
“Do…” your voice barely audible “Do you want to talk about it?”
Adam looked hesitant but nodded.
“You know about everything, right? About… what all happened in Eden?
You nod against his chest content on listening.
“When… When Lilith left me, I thought I didn't care as much as I did. I thought she was a bitch and that was that. And it didn’t help that as soon as she left, I got Eve…”
He paused
“Then, when I found out about that shit between Eve and Lucifer… I didn’t care then either, but I didn’t understand why…” his voice hitched “but when I ate that damn apple… I realized how hurt I should have been. All the concepts of right and wrong, good and evil, learning all of it through that fruit, I realized one shitty truth… that the one I loved betrayed me.”
You hugged him tighter softly, your hands caressed his stomach as some form of comfort before he continued.
“For the same person- Both of them for that snake…”
“Adam… I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“And that’s why… I’m scared. Scared that I will fuxk up again and get… attached to you. Because every. single. time. He ruins it. And I don't want to see that happen with you.”
Your heart ached for him, the saddening look of his LED mask as he talked only furthered your emotions. Slowly your hands made their way to his face, he looks at you confused, your fingertips crept under the mask before his hand shot up and held your wrist slightly, carefully not holding it too tight.
“Sorry fuck- I’m.. I’m not ready.”
You smile and nod understanding “Adam. I love you… with all of my heart. And I would never do what those two done to you. “
Adam thought for a moment deciding what to say.
“Promise?” was all he could think of, his voice, mind, and body were all too tired to speak more about it.
You slowly remove your hands from his mask, instead taking one of his hands into yours.
“I promise, I would never betray you, let alone talk to that man” ever-so lightly, a soft golden glow burned between yours and Adam’s hands, the gold flame was warm and comforting to both of you as it rose and grew in strength.
From the flame, a string wrapped and warped itself around both yours and Adam’s pinky fingers. The string tightened and loosened as it moved, before finally melting away leaving only two solid gold rings behind, One on Adam’s finger and the other on yours.
“What the hell was that?” Adam’s voice was filled with bewilderment
“A deal- or I guess a promise. In this case”
“Shit, You didn’t have to do that-“ this time it was your turn to interrupt him. You bring Adam’s hand to your lips, and give a kiss on his newly formed ring before lying down and cuddling into Adam.
“I know.”
For once in his life, Adam felt at ease with love. How easy it was to fall for you.
Is this what home feels like?
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vroomvroomcircuit · 3 months
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"Diamonds are made under pressure, aren't they?"
Summary: It's about treading the line between 'diamonds are made under pressure' and 'bread only rises through rest', describing the struggles of two people that come with being described as one of the best drivers to ever exist and the smartest person in the room
Pairing: Max Verstappen x engineer!reader
Wordcount: 2k
🏎Masterlist🏎
_______________________
“Diamonds are made under pressure.”
This is a sentence, a one-liner, that has been thrown at (Y/N) through an off-sentence by a friend during one of their most stressful weeks of university. Ever since she lived by it. It was one of the mantras she retold herself over and over again during one of too many all-nighters, only accompanied by sugary energy drinks and crippling anxiety about her future if she doesn't get through this assignment on time.
In the end it all, meaning the late nights and early mornings in libraries, study halls and classrooms, was worth it, the grind she held through her bachelors in engineering got her a seat on the Red Bull Racing team in Formula 1. Ultimately, it brought her to her true love, Max Verstappen.
They have similar mindsets, after all, there is always room for improvement and why wait for it when you can do it now? So many people are counting on them anyway.
This is something they have discussed during late night talks. These started back then when he was in his third year with Red Bull and (Y/N)’s first.
Max was about to leave the factory after a long day of working on the new car for the upcoming season. He stopped when he saw a light still burdening in one of the offices. Being the environmentally conscious person he is, he wanted to turn it off. Good one, Max. Without you Red Bull would go bankrupt based on the energy bills alone.
Instead of an empty office, he was met with wide eyes. “Uh, I apologize for running in like that. I thought somebody forgot to turn off the light”, the driver explained his sudden appearance.
After recovering from the initial shock of having her door thrown open out of the blue, (Y/N) was quick to put Max back at ease. “Oh no, it’s fine. I guess it really is late. I just wanted to run the suggestions you made to the team through a simulation and see if the outcome really does change like you expect it to.” The young woman smiled tiredly at him before continuing punching some numbers into her computer and sipping on a can of Red Bull (the orange one is the best, you can’t change my mind).
“You don’t sound convinced by my idea too much”, he noticed with a small grin of his own, “Was what I said not smart?” He still whacked his brain whether or not she was with the team he worked with today. He surely would remember, right?
“Oh, I would know what you said word for word, I was with the other driver today. But Mike gave me the notes and why wait to put what you suggested to work when I can do it now?” (Y/N) winks at him.
“And still you think it won’t work.” And with that they started an in depth discussion about the outcome that is to be expected with the proposed changes. In the middle of another Maxplaining (Y/N) just turned her computer screen towards the man leaning against the doorway, proving her point she told him from the beginning of their conversation.
“Well, I guess you need to explain these results to me. Maybe over a cup of coffee?”
“I definitely need to, can’t have our golden boy lack knowledge in the field of engineering. We want these Championship wins.” With that she packed her back. “I know a place that’s still open.”
Born with that are many more discussions, partially very heated even, that could only be solved by getting one of the heavy textbooks out that (Y/N) still kept from her uni days. Sometimes held over coffee in softly lighted cafes around the world, later during dinners, which are only interrupted by waiters desperately trying to get their attention to jot down their orders, and in the end they continue them in the security that only their own four walls can provide.
One time during a race weekend the whole team had a bet going on about how long the two can keep talking about the same subject. After two hours they had to be stopped, both of them needing to follow their own programme points of the day. GP won the bet, having to listen to their conversations on a regular basis with no way to escape them, because they are vital with important key information. Still, it doesn’t mean that they are exciting.
Now, three years after that initial meeting, three WDC and two WCC have been secured since. During that time the aspiring engineer decided to pursue a masters degree in technical engineering alongside her work in the team (or more like Christian offering her a whole ride paid by Red Bull after hearing her talking about this and knowing how much extra value this brings to the upcoming seasons).
The couple’s apartment in Monaco starts to look more like a library than a living space for humans, textbooks and loose papers scattered over every available surface and the floor of their office. While the driver greatly admires his love’s determination to get through her programme with the best possible grades, he starts to worry a bit. He has heard stories from her friends and family from her time at uni and what her study habits had looked like back then.
Hell, Max himself plants his ass for more hours on the sim than probably necessary, since there is always room for improvement. But seeing his girlfriend become a zombie version of the person he got to know was definitely not what he had expected when she signed up for going back to uni.
“Schatje? I thought you wanted to join me in bed?” Max asked (Y/N) tiredly, who is still sitting in her seat at the office desk while pouring over textbooks and a writing document on her laptop. His voice tells her that he already had fallen asleep, but something must have woken him up. Was she talking to herself again? She tends to do that when getting lost in her own world of equations and laws of physics.
“Yes, I will be with you in a minute. Let me just write this down, I finally understood that concept”, the engineer waved him off absentmindedly, the other hand retracing a line in a book, which has been assaulted by differently colored highlighters.
But Max is nothing but a stubborn man and if life had taught him one lection then it’s to never give up easily. “Come on, it’s really late and all your smart thoughts will still be there after you get some sleep”, he tried convincing her, moving closer and massaging the tension away from his girlfriend’s shoulders.
“I told you, I’ll be there in a sec. But a masters thesis doesn’t write itself and I would deeply appreciate it if you would leave me be to finish this up.” Frustration starts to set in (Y/N)’s voice.
Max is not irritated by it at all. He had been the same, if not worse, to her in his most challenging moments of his career. He knows that he can be a harsh person, unfortunately even to his loved ones. But that also means he knows how to deal with harsh people.
“You know what, I’ll put the kettle on and make us a cup of tea while you wrap this up and we meet again in the bedroom. Okay?” Softly spoken, the Dutchman proposes the idea to her.
(Y/N) can’t really say no to this, knowing that her brain wouldn’t be able to process and absorb much more information anyways. Still, there is a certain guilt gnawing on her conscience whenever she is about to take a break from her studies.
With puppy dog eyes the engineer looks up to her boyfriend. “Can you make it a hot chocolate, please? And maybe some of the cookies you brought home from the bakery?” Her small voice is enough to ask Max to do nothing short of a murder and he would say yes without wasting any thoughts on it. “Of course, Schatje. Anything for my smart and brilliant girl.” He presses a kiss on her forehead before disappearing from the office.
Not long after this the couple finds themselves sipping from their mugs with some calming music playing in the background and munching on some treats.
“My love, I feel like when I talk to you now about the importance of taking breaks and resting, we both will have a déjà-vu,” Max says with a small smile.
He is not wrong. They actually talked about it a couple of months ago when Max had to be dragged off the sim, because he had been stressing himself out about a particular race way too much to consider it a healthy try to improve.
“I know, I know. It’s just, being smart is not easy and I try to live up to the title of the clever woman in my family and in the team,” (Y/N) confesses quietly. The driver puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her further into his embrace.
“What do you mean, Schatje? What do you have to live up to?” Murmurs are whispered into her hair.
“It can be hard, being the smart one. Because as soon as people catch on, they start expecting things from you. Suddenly, you are knowledgeable in every single subject available on earth. You become other people’s measurement scale. When they get something right and you wrong, they will rub it into your face.
You have to do great things, because they want you to do that. You will get pressured into using your intellect to the fullest extent, because otherwise they say your potential is wasted. Nobody wants you to do that, it would be a shame. Apparently to everybody and their mother.
This is why I sometimes hate to be the smart one. No one wants me to be average, they need me to be exceptional. That’s why I have to study hard and read everything there is on this subject. And diamonds are made under pressure, aren’t they?”
Max understands the kind of pressure that is on her. He felt like that for the majority of his life, having to exceed the expectations of other people over and over again, because only meeting them just is not enough.
Either he is the best driver out there or he shouldn’t even bother to try. That is something he had been told from his early days into his driving career. He lived by it like it was the only truth that mattered.
This was until he met her. (Y/N) showed him that trying is better than never starting. That his best will always be enough. Nobody has been born being a master in something. Failing is an important part of the way to perfection. Mistakes have to be made to improve, to learn what needs to be improved.
And he wants to show her that all of this also counts for her, too.
“Do you wanna know what Christian said to me a couple of months ago? ‘Just like dough, you can rise only if you rest.’ You need time to recharge to be able to do your best. Let’s take the day tomorrow off, recharge our batteries and just laze around and snooze in a bit. After tomorrow, I’ll help you study.”
A study date with Max Verstappen is too good to say no to. Whenever he quizzes (Y/N), she gets a kiss for every correct answer. So the questions might get easier over time. Still, he motivates her to do her best while looking out for her water intake and food consumption and taking regular breaks for stretching her body or going for a walk.
Max is right, you need to rest to continue achieving greatness.
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lovelettersfromluna · 10 months
Text
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sweet Little Lies *ੈ✩‧₊˚
{Ellie Williams x Reader}
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Summary: Being on tour with someone you’ve been ignoring for two months is hard…but doable
an: AHHHHHH!!! I am so excited to finally give you guys the second part of The Perfect Girl! I can confidently say that the vibe of this one has been so much fun to write and think about ideas for, and it makes me so happy that you’ve been enjoying it! This one is pretty short, im sorry but! the next part will be longer, fluffier and much smuttier hehe. Anyways, I hope you guys like this part too. 🖤 (Also yes I know I posted this before the poll was up but y'all saw how it was going im sorry I am an impatient woman)
Warnings: 18+!!! Eventual smut, Ellie is selfish point blank period, reader is extremely sad, some making out but doesn't lead to much, ANGST!!!!, this one is pretty short so not many warnings hehe. let me know if I missed anything pleaseeee.
Part 1 can be read here!
The rest of the tour was…rough.
After the night at the club, the silent treatment that you had for Ellie had gone from simply ignoring her, to pretending like she didn’t even exist.
Shows were awkward, practice was awkward, being in a fucking band with her was awkward. Not to mention the very noticeable divide that it put between you and the other members.
The entire situation made it hard to talk to anyone. It made you feel extremely isolated, because you had convinced yourself that no one could possibly understand, especially not the other two men in your band, so you barely spoke to anyone.
In return of that, the other members found it hard to talk to Ellie. Because ever since you had pulled away, things were just no longer the same.
The late nights hanging out in someone’s hotel room stopped, partying after shows were done without you, and the only times anyone truly ever saw you was when you had to perform. When you were done, you’d quietly go back to your hotel room to sulk.
The tour ended that way, with you silently pulling all of your things from the back of the tour bus once you had returned home and catching a cab back to your apartment in the city, going against the tradition that you all had done every time when coming back home, which was going to your favorite local bar and trying to out drink each other before stumbling home in the cold.
So now, you were home, still ignoring everyone.
It was hard for you. Because the girl you’ve looked up to for so long, wanted for so long, had said such mean things about you. And you weren’t an idiot, because never for a second did you ever think that Ellie could ever want you the way that you wanted her, even when you were wrapped up in her arms at night, or when she whispered stupid jokes in your ear whenever you were sad, her lips ghosting over your skin, you never once thought that you could have her. Because you weren’t a kid with a great big imagination, with hopes and dreams that you’d one day be swept off of your feet by her.
You knew deep down that it would never work out, and you were okay with that. You had long accepted that your love was unrequited, and as much as it hurt you to see her date girls she’d only known for a few weeks, and fuck countless groupies every night, you never let it get to you.
But hearing her say what she said, hearing those words fall from her pretty lips….it was like something was eating you from the inside out, and the love that you had for Ellie couldn’t outweigh the pain that she brought you.
And you couldn’t fucking do it anymore.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
The decision you had made didn’t come without heartache. You cried, you screamed, you threw things, ruining your room entirely, your rage and sadness burned you so deeply, because in all of this you still blamed yourself, and not her.
It had been almost a month since you got back from tour, and you could count on your hands how many times you left your apartment. Dylan and Charlie came by the visit a few times, and their apologetic smiles somehow pissed you off even further, because it made you feel small and frail, like you’d never be able to come back from this on your own.
You appreciated them, and you enjoyed the times they were around because it gave you an out from thinking about Ellie.
But all good things would come to an end.
That’s how you found yourself at Dylan’s apartment. He was shocked when you showed up, having not seen you outside of your apartment in who knows how long.
He knew that whatever it was you were there for, was serious.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ellie felt like she was seeing red.
She slammed the door to her car once she arrived at your apartment building, her nostrils flaring as she breathed hard. She couldn’t even stop for a moment to think about what she was doing, or if you’d even be home.
But after her phone call with Dylan, she didn’t care. She needed to see you.
After tour had ended, she had found her way to your place a few times. The first time she had a bouquet of red roses gripped between her hand, which after 10 minutes of standing outside your door, she took home and threw in the trash. The second time she came by with a box of cookies from your favorite bakery, which she ended up angrily shoving into Charlie’s chest when she came back home and he was at her apartment waiting for her to teach him a new guitar riff. The third time she simply slipped a hand written note under your door about how sorry she was, which you had promptly ripped up once you saw the small ‘from: Ellie :’)’ written on the front.
That was the last time she had showed up, figuring that you’d come around whenever you had cooled down from the entire situation. What she didn’t expect though, was for it to go on for months after tour had ended.
But she was done, she was over this and she was over you ignoring her.
She knocked on your door loudly, staring knuckles banging on the wood of your front door, making you frown as the loud noise echoed throughout your apartment. You sighed, opening the door harshly.
“I told you I didn’t want one of your fucking pamphlets! If you don’t leave I’m calling the fucking-“ your words were cut off, eyes going wide as you looked up and caught eye of Ellie.
A very angry Ellie.
You sighed tiredly, already trying to close the door on her. “Go home Ellie…” you mumbled out. But her palm was pressing against your door and stopping you from closing it on her.
“You’re quitting the fucking band?” Her voice is harsh, and her words make you freeze as you stop pushing your door closed.
You figured word would’ve gotten out sooner or later…you just preferred later rather than sooner.
You let out a sigh, one of your hands coming up to tuck a strand of your hair back before you give her a half shrug. “I told Dylan not to tell you until the end of the month..” you mumble out, your eyes staring at your sock clad feet.
The second you confirm it, you’re confirming Ellie’s greatest nightmare, and she’s pushing past you and walking into your apartment before you can even tell her that you don’t want her in that, and that she needed to leave.
There’s no use in fighting her, because she’s already there and she’s clearly very pissed off, so you simply close your door behind you and lock it. You figure that if this is the last conversation you’ll have with Ellie, it might as well be this one.
Ellie is pacing back and forth in your small living room, hands in her hips as she tries to get a grip of everything that she’s learned within the past few hours. She wants it to be a lie, she wanted to come to your apartment and have you tell her it was all a prank, and she’d finally hear that pretty laugh of yours when you too made up and cuddled on your couch.
But you weren’t, you weren’t giving Ellie any of that and it made her feel even more pissed off.
“Ellie…” you mumbled softly, reaching out and trying to grab her arm gently, trying to calm the girl down so you could explain.
Ellie pulled her arm away the second you tried reaching out for her. The soft tone of yours was all she had wanted for the last three months, hearing the way you’d soothe her when she became too consumed in her feelings.
But Ellie felt betrayed, she felt like she was being left behind, like you were throwing her away and leaving her like everyone else did.
You were abandoning her.
“No! Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t talk to me for three months and the first thing I hear about you doesn’t even come directly from you? You didn’t even have the fucking decency to sit us down and tell all of us…you told Dylan and you had him deliver your message to us like he’s your fucking bitch” she spat.
You knew she was mad, you knew she’d come to your apartment in a rage when she found out. You had prepared for it, you prepared for all the nasty things Ellie would say to you.
But you didn’t expect any of this..
You inhaled deeply, trying your best not to let her words affect you.
“Look, Ellie…I just…it took me a long time to figure out what I needed to do to feel better. I don’t…it just isn’t working for me anymore-“ she cut you off, her hurtful words coming back with a vengeance.
“Bull fucking shit.” She spits out, and her tone is enough to make you flinch. Her words are cutting into you just like they had that night in her hotel room, and you’re trying to find something in you to not lose your fucking mind right now.
“You’re leaving because of me, because of something I said. You’re…you’re leaving behind something fucking amazing because I hurt your feelings. I don’t know how many times I have to say it! But I’m fucking sorry! Okay? I feel awful for what I said and I wish I could take it back but I can’t, and I’m sorry, but you’re being weak for leaving because of it” she yells out.
And everything stops….because all you can hear from anything shes just said…
Is that you, are weak.
And it’s like some sort of fucking phenomenon or something, because you suddenly feel like you’re being transported to that night, and you’re standing behind a wall, listening to Ellie laugh about how…how fucking unwanted you are.
And you don’t hold back anymore. You’re done holding back.
“Yes Ellie, are you even listening to yourself right now? Have you for one fucking second not been a selfish asshole to think about how any of this has affected me?” Your voice is tired, and it sounds like you’ve been internally fighting with yourself to keep these words inside.
“You hurt me Ellie! If you’re so sorry you said those things, then why did you fucking say them? Is it so hard to just say you don’t see me that way? To be a sensible human fucking being and not trying to dig me into a deeper hole than you already fucking have?” Your voice is growing louder and louder, and you’re slowly closing the space between the both of you as you shout at her.
When you’re right in front of her, your chest almost pressed against hers, your voice is quiet, and it almost sounds like you’re whispering to her for a moment.
“I never once believed that you could ever want me…but saying the things that you said about me, and then sabotaging me whenever I’m trying to live my fucking life…I can’t do it anymore Ellie…I can’t be around you anymore..”
Ellie almost fucking whimpers, because the tone of your voice is nearly enough to bring her to tears.
You aren’t even fighting anymore, you’re just tired. You’re practically begging her to let you go because she’s just held you in her hands for too long, never giving you the chance to grow and become something more than what you are.
Ellie feels it, just by the look in your eyes, she can feel that this will be the last chance she has to tell you, to come clean and stop lying to herself and to you.
Shes being given one last chance, so she knows she can’t mess it up.
“I’m in love with you.” She deadpans.
You roll your eyes, walking away from the girl. You had no time for games, and that surely meant Ellie falsely confessing her love for you just to keep you in the band.
You nodded your head towards your door as you watched her. “Nice try Ellie. I’m sure you’ll be able to charm some other girl enough to replace me as lead singer by the end of the month. It’s time for you to go” you sigh out.
And Ellie is practically whining as she makes her way over to you, towering over you as she pleads.
“I…I’m not lying…fuck id never lie about this. Leave the band if you want, I don’t care, I just…” she grabs your hand, bringing it up to lay over her heart as she sighs “I need you to know how sorry I am..and how I feel about you…” she sighs out.
Your eyebrows were furrowed as you looked down at your hand pressed against her chest, rolling your eyes as you used the placement to push her away from you.
“Ellie, cut it out. Seriously. I heard what you said about me, I heard all of it. Im not your type, remember? I look like a kicked puppy everytime you’re with another girl” you sighed out as you pushed past her, walking off into your living room before plopping onto the couch with a loud huff.
Ellie was groaning softly, hearing her own words being relayed to her in your voice made her heart break even more than it had before. She followed behind you, sitting on the couch and reaching for you.
“I..I didn’t mean any of that! I panicked!” her words catch your attention, but she groans when she sees the unamused look you’re giving her.
“I swear…just…” She tried, pleading for just a bit of your time before she was getting on her knees in front of you, pushing your legs apart so that her body was pressed against the edge of the couch, and you had no choice but to look at her.
“I’m an idiot, okay? The last thing I wanted was for Charlie and Dylan to tease me about having a massive fucking crush on you…I just…you’re too good for me, I’m not…I know that you deserve better than me…but I can’t help the way I feel about you. It eats away at me at night and it makes it hard to sleep and it doesn’t stop unless you’re around” She rambled, her eyebrows knitted together as she spoke.
Her closeness made your cheeks burn red, and you tried to keep your face down because you knew the longer you’d look into her eyes, the easier it would be for her to make you fold. You frowned as you shook your head, and before you could even speak, she was already talking.
“Please…please I’m so sorry baby…it’s killing me…not being with you is fucking killing me. I’ll leave the band, I’ll pack up and you can find a new guitarist to take my place just..” her words died down, and her fingers were placed gently under your chin to force you to look at her, and you almost lost your breath because..
Ellie was crying.
And not only was Ellie crying, but Ellie was crying for you.
Her green eyes were rimmed red, and her eyelashes were clumping together, and your insides twisted because all you wanted to do was to hold her, pull her into your chest and tell her that it was okay, that you were okay, and that you could be together.
But you couldn’t. Not after what she did.
“Ellie I…I can’t…” you mumbled softly. You opened your mouth to explain further, but you found that you couldn’t speak.
Because Ellie’s like were pressed firmly against yours.
Her long fingers were cupping either side of your face, keeping you close as her lips moved against yours. You gasped softly, trying to break away from her, but she used it as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth, and from that point on, you melted into her completely.
You moaned softly, and Ellie was already pushing you back to lay against the couch, her body hovering over yours as she kissed you so deeply, so passionately, you could feel all of the love she had for you seeping into your mouth.
It felt amazing, having you pressed up against her, whining into her mouth and breathlessly begging for more. It was like every dream Ellie had ever had of you was finally coming true…
But she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that came with it.
If this is what Ellie had always wanted, why was it that she felt like she was doing something wrong? Why did it loom over her like a dark cloud, soaking into her core and making her feel terrible about doing this to you…distracting you from everything she’s done with sweet kisses and breathy moans.
She wanted it…god she wanted it more than anything
But this wasn’t right.
She furrowed her eyebrows as she gripped your waist, moaning softly as she pulled away from you. You frown in confusion, staring up at her and searching for what might be wrong, what you had done to make her stop.
“What? What is it Els?” And Ellie swears she’s never heard something so sweet, the nickname you had for her like the sweetest melody she’d ever heard.
She sighed, gently pulling away from you as she shook her head. “This isn’t right…” she mumbled softly. She sits down across from you, her legs spread with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over a bit.
You frown as you watch her, sitting up and adjusting your tank top, suddenly feeling extremely exposed underneath the girls presence. “Do you…not want me?” You mumble softly. Ellie’s eyes are nearly bulging out of her head as she quickly turns to you, grabbing your face and pulling you close as she shakes her head quickly.
“No! God no I….you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of angel…it’s just…” she sighs, her voice raspy before she starts again. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go…you’re worth so much more than what I’ve given to you…I’ve been mean, and selfish and...And I come here expecting you to just forgive me and...and give yourself to me and...it isn't right.." She sighs out. You pout softly as you listen to her, and you are suddenly remembering all of the things that Ellie said, and you can't help but agree that the wounds are still fresh.
She notices how deep in thought you are, and she uses her strong hands to grip your thighs and pull you so you're straddling her lap. She licks her lips, her hands toying with the plush skin of your thighs as you both stay there for a moment, before she breaks the silence.
"Im not going to convince you that you need to stay in the band...if you really want to leave, thats your decision..but..." She sighs softly.
"Let me prove to you that you're what I want...give me one chance to do this the right way, and I promise princess...you won't regret it.." Her voice is raspy, and it reminds you of all the times she would talk to you while you both laid in bed together and you couldn't sleep. It reminds you of all the times Ellie called you on the phone in the middle night, too high and too needy, just so she could hear your voice.
And it reminds you of how in love you are with Ellie Williams..
Your hands slowly go to rest on her shoulders, your fingers toying with the ends of her hair at the nape of her neck, and you can swear you can see the girl visibly glow the second you give her a nod. In an instant, she's pulling you closer and pressing kisses to your neck, in spots that she knows you're extremely ticklish at. You nudge her gently to stop before you both settle down.
"Thank you angel...I promise...I'll do right by you.." She mumbles softly, her pretty green eyes staring at your plush lips before she leans in, pressing the softest, most gentle kiss to them, almost as if she were afraid she'd break you all over again.
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legiblyloathed · 1 year
Text
Ain’t He Darling? (Chapter 1)
Yandere! Wally Darling x Reader
A/N: Okay, so the little blue haired menace has been rotting my brain for the past week, sue me. I tried to get him out of my brain by rewatching Gravity Falls, only for the episode “The Hand that Rocks the Mabel” to inspire a whole fanfic. Straight up water on a grease fire. Anyway, enjoy.
Next
I always forget how much of a hassle moving is until it’s time to actually do it. Weeks spent selling and giving away half of my belongings, trying to shove the rest of them into boxes, then taking all of them into a new location only to have to figure out where all of them should go in the new space; it’s on the list of most mundane yet stressful life events a person has to put themselves through.
These were the feelings that hung around my being like a dark cloud for the past few weeks, but now, as I finally set my final knickknack in its chosen spot, I can feel the sun breaking through. I stand up and stretch as hard as I can, trying to wring the residual tension out of my spine. Even with my reduced number of belongings, it’s a lot of work to unpack them all, especially when working alone.
I didn’t have to do all the work myself. Within minutes of hauling stacks of boxes into my new house, I’d been approached by numerous rather colorful people, all very keen to lend a hand. As the newest neighbor in town, I was a curiosity to them, after all. I’d declined the offers, not wanting to place any burdens on the shoulders of my new potential friends. Looking back on it, that wasn’t my smartest move. Or maybe that’s just my aching muscles talking.
I’m dragged out of my tired contentment by the sound of a knock on the front door. Relaxing with a heaving sigh, I stroll over and peer out the peephole. Standing on my porch is a large, multicolored bird. My eyes dart to the plate of cookies balanced in her wings. With newfound excitement, I yank open the door and greet her with a smile.
The bird almost appears startled at this, the cookies on the plate jostling as she jumped. “Oh dear!” She shuffles the plate to her left hand, her right settling upon her chest as if to calm her heart. “You startled me for a moment!”
I give her a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Settling down, she waves her free wing dismissively. “Nothing to apologize for, I’m a bit prone to fright, is all.” As if remembering their existence, she extends the plate of cookies towards me. “I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I do hope you like them!”
“I’m sure I will!” I pull the plate from her grasp and hold it carefully to my chest, my mouth watering at the sugary smell. “They look and smell delicious, thank you so much…” I trail off, realizing in embarrassment that I never caught her name.
She seems to sense my hesitation, and beams in reassurance. “My name’s Poppy, Poppy Partridge.” I give her my name, mentally thanking her for the help. “It’s very nice to meet you, we haven’t had any new neighbors in a long time.”
“Really?” My head tilts to the side. “Why not? This place is beautiful.”
“Oh, I can’t say myself,” she sighs. “Suppose there’s just not much to around here.”
I shrug, trying to appear lighthearted. “It’s a pity.” She nods in agreement, and the conversation begins to lull. Not wanting to leave on such a sour note, I ask, “Out of curiosity, what do you like to do around here?”
“Me?” she squawks, looking taken aback. She fidgets with her feathers, her wings wringing around each other. “I suppose I like to bake, especially when the weather’s nice enough for a picnic.” I can almost see the lightbulb turn on above her head, and she turns her much cheerier gaze to my own. “Say, the rest of us were planning on a picnic this afternoon! Care to join us? It’d be a good time to meet your new neighbors.”
A sense of anxiety washes over me. The idea of being among that many strangers with such late notice flutters around in my stomach like butterflies. Without thinking, I begin to shift back and forth on my feet. “I… I don’t know, it’s very sudden…”
The bird wilts a bit, looking down at my porch. “Oh dear, it is, isn’t it? You must still be so busy with unpacking.”
I look up at her, my anxiety curdling into regret at her disappointment. I reconsider the situation. What’s an hour or two with a handful of strangers? There’s only nine houses in this town, counting my own, I can handle it. Having made up my mind, I shake my head. “No, no, I already finished unpacking. I’ll be there.”
Poppy perks up. “You will?” I smile, hoping she can’t see the hesitation in it. “That’s wonderful news!” She flaps her wings in excitement before stopping with a gasp of realization. “I have more baking to do, than! I’d better get going,” she says, turning to leave with one last wave of her big red wing. “I’ll see you soon, neighbor!”
“See you soon!” I shout back, waving with the hand that wasn’t clutching the plate of cookies. As she goes further from my field of vision, I feel myself slump, the excitement of a new friend and a batch of treats wearing off to remind me of my exhaustion. My hand falls limp to my side and I stare at the plate in contemplation.
Nap? Or snack?
I pluck a cookie from the tray and take a bite, feeling myself melt at the incredible flavor. I scarf the rest of the sweet down before heading back inside, picking up another one as I go. Maybe just a few before I rest up.
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I snap up on my couch, almost falling off of it in my sudden awakening. What time is it? A quick glance at the clock on my wall reveals it to be mid-afternoon, and I throw myself off my resting place so fast I nearly hit the floor. I scramble to the window and see a small crowd of people in the distance, the sounds of talk and laughter wafting in through the glass. I let out a sigh of relief. At least I wasn’t… that late. After a quick change and a once over in the mirror, I hurry out the door and towards the picnic.
As I approach, the jolly sounds become clearer, with voices all chattering their cares away. Colorful blankets are scattered across the clearing, each rife with sandwiches and sweets. I really hope they aren’t upset that I didn’t bring anything. As I scan my surroundings, I pick out Poppy as she talks with a caterpillar and head in her direction, relieved at the semi-familiar face.
As if on cue, my way is blocked by a short girl in a pink dress dragging along a disgruntled looking man with a bowtie. “Ooh, you must be the new neighbor!” she squeals, bouncing up and down in place, hands flapping in front of her chest. “We were so worried you weren’t gonna come! I’m Julie Joyful, and this,” she says as she grabs the arm of the man next to her, “is Frank Frankly! Say hi, Franky!”
“Uh… hello.” I pondered briefly if I looked as awkward as poor Frank did as he gave me a small wave. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“Feeling’s mutual,” I respond. As Julie begins to babble about her excitement, my eyes move to drift over the rest of the strangers. The vast majority are split off into their own small groups, with a single exception. Sitting on a bench under a large apple tree is a man who seems to be studying me the same way I’m studying him. One of his legs is crossed over the other, supporting his elbow as he rests his chin on his hand, staring at me with an intensity that sends a small shiver down my spine. And either I’m going crazy, or his lazy smile broadens ever so slightly at that.
I’m startled out of my impromptu staring contest by Julie, who seems to have noticed that I wasn’t listening and cranes her neck to see what I’m looking at. “Oh, have you met Wally yet?”
I shake my head. “No, not yet.” It takes all the willpower in my body not to meet those eyes that I can almost feel lingering on me.
The girl grins, grabbing my wrist. “Come on, you gotta meet him! I bet you two will get along like two peas in a pod!”
She begins to force me from my spot, and I feel myself start to panic. Before she can pull me away to the creepy man, Frank reaches out and stops her in her tracks. “Say, Julie, they don’t look too keen on it. Maybe they should take it slow, meet the others on their own time?” He gestures broadly to the snacks left sitting around. “They haven’t even gotten anything to eat yet, after all.”
Julie looks surprised at the intervention, a flash of guilt going over her face. “Oh my, you’re right, Frank! I’m so sorry, neighbor, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!” At my dismissive hand wave, she changes course, instead pulling me to the piles of food. “Poppy told me she gave you some cookies, but just you wait ‘til you try her pie!” I turn to look at Frank, mouthing a ‘thank you’ at the grumpy looking man. He smiles a bit with a reassuring nod, and the three of us settle down on a blanket. For the rest of the picnic I eat while the two of them (mainly just Julie with the occasional comment from Frank) talk about all kinds of things.
I try hard to pretend I can’t feel the eyes burning into the back of my head.
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The sound of a steady, rhythmic knock wakes me up the next morning. I rub the sleep from my eyes, noting with absent mind how high the sun had already risen. The three slow knocks reverberate through my house once again, and I roll out of bed and head towards the front door, not bothering to change out of my pajamas or even look through the peephole. This, as it turns out, is a bad move on my part.
I yawn as I open the door, only for it to become a strangled cough as I lock eyes with the one resident I didn’t want to see this early. The man, or Wally as Julie had called him, stood on my porch, his face as eerily relaxed as ever. His posture was straight, his clothes neat, his appearance put together; I don’t think he could be any more of a contrast to my current state if he actively worked towards it. Which, to be frank, I suspect he did.
Just like the last time I’d encountered him, the two of us looked as if we were having a staring contest. Unlike last time, however, this time he decides to break the silence. “Hi, neighbor.” His voice is soft and monotonous, each syllable dragging along in no hurry. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”
Somehow, I doubt that. In an attempt to relieve the strange tension, I let out a stilted laugh. “Yeah, you did, but it’s fine. I overslept, anyway.” He hums in acknowledgement, and it takes a few long seconds for me to realize he doesn’t plan on responding. Eager to hurry along this interaction so I can dart back into my house and hide from those piercing eyes, I prompt, “Something I can help you with, Wally?”
He tilts his head. “I never told you my name.”
“Yeah, no, you uh, you didn’t. Julie told me yesterday. At the… the picnic.”
“Oh, right. You three looked like you had a good time.”
“We did! We did…”
“Hmm.” His smile stretches, looking pleased by that confirmation. “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re settling in okay. I’ve heard it can be awful hard to make new friends, but you have a way of drawing people in, huh?” Cutting me off before I can ask for elaboration, Wally continues. “Speaking of drawing, I was hoping you might join me for some painting today, down by the south woods.”
“Oh!” I blurt out, taking a moment to process the invitation. “I’m not exactly much of an artist, myself.”
He laughs, and it’s every bit as emphatic as the rest of his speech. “Oh, neighbor, that doesn’t matter. We all start somewhere, and besides, I’d like the company.”
I consider turning him down flat, but something tells me he’s a bit too persuasive for me to keep him at bay forever. With a grin so forced it hurts, I say, “Sounds like fun! I’ll be there.”
Wally’s head bobs in a slow nod, and he takes a step back from the door. “I’m glad to hear it. See you soon, neighbor.”
I return the nod and raise a hand in a brief wave. “See you soon.” His stare remains, and just as I ready myself to ask him to stop, he finally, finally, turns away and walks away, humming a quiet tune to himself.
I step inside and close the door, leaning my forehead against it as I recover from the encounter. My stomach growls, but I feel as though I’ve lost my appetite. The inexplicable dread in my heart squashes any hope of breakfast. I close my eyes, but even then I can still see his own staring back, unblinking in their ceaseless observation. With a shudder, I push myself up, trying my best to steel my nerves. It’s just a little art lesson, I chastise myself. So he’s a little spooky, it’s probably fine.
No matter how many times I repeated those three words to myself, the memory of those eyes seems to peer right through the lie.
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jpitha · 1 year
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If Humans tolerate a greater amount of ambiguity than other Sapients, their risk tolerance is off the charts. Even a baseline human's risk tolerance would make any non-deathworlder sapient excrete themselves with fear and run the other way.
Timothy the human is with his friend Selleg, who he has offered to take to Earth for a week to "see the sights." They are at the spaceport, having just disembarked.
Selleg struggles with his new wheeled luggage. "Ugh, it's so heavy here."
"I'm sorry. I forget that you're not used to Earth gravity. Do you need me to wheel your luggage?" Timothy looks on with genuine concern for his friend.
"I'll be fine. I just hope we don't have to walk too far."
"Nah, the car-rental booth is right here, I'll get us a car and we can drive to my parents."
At the rental booth, Selleg is fascinated with the whole process. Timothy and the clerk go through the options and different kinds of vehicles available. Timothy is asked if he wants "the extra insurance" and he agrees immediately. He exchanges payment and with keys in hand, they walk to the lot.
"I had no idea there were so many different cars to choose from." Selleg remarks. Back home, everyone takes mass transit. Personally owned vehicles don't really exist."
"Really? Huh. I'd love to check it out someday!" They approach a red, low slung vehicle. It has that look that most human machines do of being alive and ready to pounce. Leave it to a predator species to make everything look like it's also a predator. "Okay! Here, I'll put your suitcase in the trunk and we'll set off."
They get in, and Timothy shows Selleg how the seatbelts work. "Just across your body like this and then click the silver part into the slot with the red button there. With a satisfying clunk, the seatbelt is secured. Selleg stares at all the buttons and dials and screens and switches. "Why are there so many displays?"
"What? Oh. Some tell me things about the car, and it's speed, temperature, mileage, things like that, others are for the entertainment system, and still others are for the heating and cooling."
Selleg stopped "The operation of the car is not automatic?"
Timothy shook his head "Nah, it's all manual. Don't worry, I know how to drive."
"You. Operate. This. Vehicle?" Selleg was clearly nervous.
"Sure! I've been doing it since I was 16. Only had one bad accident that whole time." Timothy pushed the start/stop button and the car roared to life. It settled down into a burbling idle. "I sprung for the sports car. It's been a while since I've driven, and I probably won't get another chance for a long time, so I decided to treat myself!"
"You haven't driven in a long time and decided to get a more powerful car anyway?"
"I'll be careful." Timothy promised. Let's go!" He put it in gear and pulled out into traffic.
****
"THAT WAS INSANE! YOU ARE INSANE!" Selleg was yelling.
"That was a perfectly normal drive!" Timothy pleaded. "Selleg, there was nothing unusual about it."
"You were driving less than two meters from the other cars!"
"It was heavy traffic."
"You were going over 100kph!?!"
"All the other cars were too" Timothy answered weakly.
"We passed three crashed cars!!"
"Yeah? Cars crash. Usually it's the drivers fault. I didn't see any ambulances, so everyone was probably all right."
"DON'T YOU THINK THEN THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T ALL BE DRIVING???" Selleg's fur was bristled and he was pacing.
"I'm sorry you were worried Selleg, it was a perfectly normal drive. I thought you'd be nervous about your first car ride so I drove carefully."
"That was carefully?" This is normal for humans?"
"Driving? Yes. that was by all accounts a perfectly normal drive. Some humans even like it"
In the high gravity of Earth, Selleg sat down heavily. "What have I signed up for?"
Timothy looked at his friend. "I'll just go ahead and cancel the skydiving tickets." he said sadly.
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greekceltic · 3 months
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Jacky has a haunted arm. It started as a roleplay thing that I didn't think I would make canon, but I probably will. The situations it creates are fun. Anyway, for our amusement she can use it to touch ghosts so she scared hers. (Art doesn't quite match the writing). You can read the roleplay clip under the read more or on toyhouse.
GreekCeltic-
Junior was where she left him. He glanced at her. Same face. Same bags under his eyes and blushless pallor. What did that bandit say?
  When eyes meet, the soul has made love?
Yeah he was wrong.
Junior turned back around and she wondered how far she could walk before he was compelled to join her. She felt a little bad for not asking, but the feeling had no stay power. His wants and needs took a backseat to hers and she had found a way to make herself okay with that.
He could talk. It was within his power to ask her to put him in someone else’s care any time he wanted. After being left in the woods she could understand why he wouldn't want to be parked on Vlinder's hearth- in the same forest -but there were other people in their group who would travel. All basically good people.
Picking her was self sabotage.
Idiot.
She walked all the way in and shut the door behind her. The wind feathered a few rug ends but didn't bother with him.
  Maybe he's like AI and can't defy me, she wondered. Like bullshit television. She had never made the leap that it could be worse. Jacky felt that she was babysitting and had exactly as much authority as a teenager over a nine year old. In the end, not very much at all. She kept waiting for his tantrum, wanting it because after all that had happened it would make sense, even be healthy, but it never came.
She stumbled back toward the fur mat she had grown to hate since she woke up and stared down at it, too tired to sleep. There was such a thing. Jacky swayed weakly near it and turned away.
She looked at him again and ground her bottom jaw.
  Dummy should be begging to leave.
She hated the way he idled against the wall like a toy soldier waiting for something to do. That was the kind of thing that got ice put down your shorts at sleep overs. The idea of that made her spine prickle in a bad way, but it made her think. Jacky tilted back and lidded her eyes. She reached for one of the support pillars and rested her weight on it, two feet closer to him.   I could do it. She moved her feet, taking care not to scuff them on the floor. She didn't have to worry about the boards creaking. If they didn't notice Vlinder they weren't going to notice her. There were no more pillars between them, but she thought she'd make it. She tried, and on the way thought about how many nights he'd spent right there in a different room. Waiting or staring, as engaged as a coat put away on a hanger. He didn't even breathe loudly because he didn't breathe anymore.   DO something! The last few feet ended with her wobbling behind him, alarmingly silent, but not very steady. She reflexively tried to grab his shirt to pull it back with her good hand, but it went right through. Jacky didn't stop to wonder if he'd noticed that. She stuck her *cold* hand out like a senile old woman with a fork. It went up his shirt and flattened on the part where his back sank in. It worked when she slapped him. No reason to think it wouldn't work now. Themascura--
The target of her ire had no idea.   None.   He was peacefully existing in a corner, appreciating the window. It was nice to have a different view. He liked trees. Not enough to have been okay with just their company for a few millennia, but enough to be okay staring at them for a few days.   It was pretty out there. There were squirrels. And birds! Not many of those in the city. The cats had mostly eaten them all-   Jacky was about to learn a whole lot of things in quick succession. One, she could in fact scare the shit out of a ghost. Two, despite being dead ghosts did in fact have startle responses. Three, when she was touching a ghost with her ghost hand apparently walls became interactable- because he slapped the window/wall with his belly when he jumped and it made a sound.   A beautiful hollow sound, like when you thumped a watermelon.   He left a foggy mark on the window when he hopped back. He was still hopping when he turned around, trying to shake the ice cube out of his shirt. His spine was still flickering when he got all the way turned- visible through his shirt and his front and almost as far as his shoulders. The look he gave her was universal. The sibling glance of- I WAS MINDING MY BUSINESS.   Here you are, starting some shit. He stuck a hand straight out for her face, confident it would go through, but also confident it would mess with her already wonky balance and depth perception. Time for you to take a time out on the floor. You pushed your luck to far today anyway.
GreekCeltic-- His reaction was Christmas. She wasn't sure what to make of his spine. Jacky looked at her hand and wondered if it had cannibalized him somehow. A week ago she had dumped all the extra stuff into Christoph's leg. That had been a surprise. Christoph was alive, there was no way to know it wouldn't do the opposite and suck Junior up like a straw, like it had Virgil's magic.   Oough, there was a mental image she did not enjoy. When she touched Christoph she went with a gut feeling that turned out to be right. Here too she decided to go with a gut feeling-- that it was fine. "Oh excuse me did I interrupt your vacant staring?" Jacky's hand was still up, she dropped it and raised her other one, rubbing her arm furiously like she was trying to warm it up. Cold fire appeared and walked toward her elbow. "Gonna do it again." She spread the fire to her good hand but she never got to try it. He threw his at her face- IN her face -and she spilled in stages. Mostly in slow, wobbly, backwards walking motions that ended up near the bed. She fell against the edge. She had been put to bed. OBNOXIOUS. Jacky leaned into her sprawled arm and chose to be happy he showed some life. She didn't think she could get up without crawling on all fours and that wouldn't be preferable. She was also tired. It was possible she had never been so tired in her life. She crawled over the edge and fell into the divot like a kitten into a laundry basket. She slept all of the night and most of the next day. The only time she got up was to wash. She made a point of it so history wouldn't have to repeat itself. Who knows how many rag baths she got during the week. One was too many. Two would have been life ending. Her hair was close to dry when she went back to sleep. She tried to make it longer, but felt harassed that she was not alone. Dreams had been hard to remember the first week, but they were piling up now. She didn't know if she was remembering things or adding fantasies to what she did. All she knew was she couldn't be her own witness. With each waking she was a little more confused and a little more convinced she shouldn't have gone back for the brooch. It could have waited. At the time the idea of leaving Junior out there to believe no one was coming was too much and it was too much now, but was it worth it?   The elf was back when she got up, laying beside her with his arm folded behind his head.   Him again. Jacky looked at him a minute, but decided she didn't really care. She didn't know why. It should have embarrassed her but it was like sleeping with a big white dog. She got the feeling he thought of her as a cat. She looked across the room and saw Herman on his back against the wall, also asleep. Some kind of spell had fallen over this house. She and Junior were exempt. She grabbed her poncho and went out the front door. The moonlit air was bright and icy. She wasn't wearing her shoes but she didn't expect to go far and wanted the snow to bite her feet a little. It felt good even when it stung. When she got to the gate she put her hand on it and flipped up the latch (too complicated for a dead guy, apparently), but never pushed it forward. It would have been easy, but the idea of the gate held fast. There was a bigger obstacle here than a physical one. I shouldn't, Jacky thought. More like I can't. She'd been thinking about this a lot and the conclusion she came to was damned if I do, damned if I don't.
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azurlily · 10 months
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Hello! May I ask for stalker/pervert yumeko x fem!reader (sfw And nsfw)
OH HO HO!! YES Y E S YESSSS!!! Sorry I haven't been active, mental health and all, but I'm doing somewhat better and this is one of the first I'm working on to get a good bit of stuff outta my drafts. This isn't all that dark, but I'm still giving a warning. Also(to anyone that actually reads these) this started stalkerish and developed into yandere territory. I apologize, but I couldn't help myself. CNC is briefly mentioned but not gone over.
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Stalker!Yumeko Jabami x Fem!reader
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Now, this is a somewhat unlikely situation. Yet, somehow, it still happened. So how did this even start, why is Yumeko following you home, why does she get all antsy when she cant be around you?
So many questions, so few answers. The only way to truly get Yumekos attention is to stand out. Not in a way she has already seen before, so there are few ways to do that.
You could have beaten her in a gamble, the higher the stakes the more interested she is. You could have possibly been a kind, and genuinely good person. People like that aren't seen as much at Hyakkaou, so it be someone she is very much interested in. Maybe you're a masochist and you lost to Yumeko, seeing you happy to lose would definitely turn her on and interest her...as long as you're not creepy like Midari.
Anyway, despite whatever peaked her interest about you...yeah you're hers now. So have fun. Yumeko is the last person you'd want to defy, I mean...have you met the girl? At first she isn't obvious about her recognition of you. No, she watches you, she even has others watch you for her. You, wether you're oblivious or not, will still notice odd behavior from those around you.
Maybe some of those ruder to you are nicer, maybe vice versa. It doesn't matter, you're going to realise at some point you're being tailed. When you do, that's when the icy hot hell that is Yumeko Jabami makes me debute to you. Or well second debute.
Before you learn all about her "nefarious" plans and she's still watching you creepily. She goes after you, in more ways than one. She watches you leave ethe bathroom, and go in. Yumeko just wants to make sure you're not being privately bullied...that's all.
She also follows you home, maybe she'll buy(just a reminder Yumeko is rich as hell) a car. One that looks like an everyday car, or an exact copy of one that lives near your house. You wouldn't suspect seeing your neighbors car right behind you...right?
Yumeko is fucking crazy, let's put that out there. I've more than likely said it once, but I'll say it again if needed. She. is. crazy. So after she's is caught stalking you, she wont lie. She'll tell you straight up, she's in love, well her idea of love. Her fucked up, disgusting idea of love. Yumeko is very blunt, she explains her intentions and what she wants. At least what she things she wants.
Whether you choose to date her or not essentially decides the outcome of your little interaction. Saying yes, immediately fucks you over, she no longer has to hide her stalker tendencies. Saying no, well she'll pretend she didn't hear it and the next day at school Yumeko announces your relationship.
She's also very touchy(yes, she's a pervert too) she likes putting her hand up your skirt and will smile. Yumeko likes to hig you from behind, why? Because that means she can touch your tits. Big or small, nonexistent or very obviously existant. She loves your chest, she love you, and therefore any and every part of you.
She likes to show you off, by that I mean she'll kiss and love on you while she's gambling. You just look so cute to her, shaking and looking away in embarrassment.
I feel like Yumeko as a stalker is giving her yandere tendencies, but toned down. She goes from stalker to the well known term: crazy girlfriend. She needs you round all the time, she cant gamble without you. She can't walk home without you, she hates leaving you.
You're her lucky charm, you make things better. She can talk about her sister, how she really feels. She doesn't always need to smile and act dopey. She can be anything without worry...and if you dislike something she cant just tie you up and have you miss a few school days...
Now, Yumeko is a less than savory person when you think about it. While she does her best to love you in every way she knows. It takes her a while, especially if you said no to dating her at first. She really cant help herself, she wants to show you things...but how can she trust you?
I'd say it takes months before she finally tells you everything, well everything that you didn't know. She trusts you to tell you hoe she really feels, hoe her fucked up mind decided you were her chosen protector.
Even if she was stalking you a lot to begin with. It was all in good faith, I mean look now. You two are inseparable, not that she let's you leave her, but that doesn't matter.
In her eyes, you're perfect, no matter the horrible things she's done. No matter how much she touches you in odd and somewhat disturbing ways. You don't leave, she'd die if you did. Yumeko Jabami, current heiress to the Jabami clan.
She has put so much effort into you, into helping you gamble, helping you with debt, helping you with class work. She cant leave you...and if she has to strike a deal for a student life plan. All to keep your with her. She will.
NSFW CONTENT AHEAD
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Sex is something else with her. Yumeko being the person she is, I highly doubt she's a virgin. No, she's had her fair share of men and women. Learning that she was particularly interested in girls help in her decided what to do with her interest in you.
Yumeko knows how to work your body. She puts on the cutesy loving girlfriend act...then eats you until you're trying(and failing) to pull her head away. Yumeko loves oral so this just makes things all the more fun for her.
Now of course just because she favors orla doesn't mean she doesn't like other things. When you two start dating she no longer needs to watch you as you go home...no she can drive you home herself. And she can also make you ride a vibrator the entire ride.
Yumeko loves humiliation(especially the stalker/pervert version of her) the idea of you crying and shaking after you been riding a toy for hours. She's been laughing at the faces you make, the whines, she'll pull on your hair and call you a slut.
Maybe take a few pictures, she loves to look through them during class when she's bored.
Oh, but seeing you all needy in public riles her up too. You're horny in public, maybe at school? Bathroom. She'll fuck you in the stall and then take a picture so she can create and album of you in the future. She likes to write the exact date and time of your little game.
Going back to the humiliation thing, if you end up doing it in a school or public bathroom. Prepare yourself, she taunt and belittle you.
You'll be so shaken up from her fucking you though, you hear very little of what she's saying. Whether that is a blessing or a curse is entirely up to you.
If it wasn't already obvious, one of Yumekos universally favorite things to do is overstimulation. Seeing you beg for mercy(that you will not be getting) after 5 orgasms is the best thing to ever grace her ears. It's an intoxicating sound, keep making it. The more you beg for mercy the longer it'll take for her to even want to stop.
Yumeko is a dominant and sadistic person in general. That goes over to the bedroom too. We see Yumeko get horny off of gambling, so she most definitely does a small coin flip or some form of small gamble.
It could decided whose on top(even though in the end you'll be bent over her knee crying her name), maybe it decides what toys you use, maybe if you win the gamble Yumeko wont punish as hard...
"So good for me, my good girl! Aww, are those tears for me? Thank you, I'm glad you know you place, sweet girl!"
She likes to mix praise in with her degradation. Calling you a mixture of darling, baby, good girl, sweetie, sweet girl, my love, sweetheart, princess(her favorite), ect. She has an extremely large variety of words for you. In and out of bed.
Stalker!Yumeko most definitely has a consent non-consent kink. I am not interested in getting into that unless specifics asked. Do with that information what you will.
Anyway, Yumeko and cat ears are like the ocean and salt. You can't really have one without the other. While Yumeko uses her money to buy you expensive lingerie sets, she also buys you cute costumes.
Maid, puppy, kitty, ect. She will dress you up with dog ears and an anal plug tail, or cat ears and an anal plug cat tail. Maybe even a bunny suit...definitely a bunny suit. Yumeko will also dress up if you ask, anything you want.
If you like the idea of a cute bunny girl dominating you until you (s)cream... Yumeko can and will do everything to set that fantasy up.
Now aftercare with Yumeko is an interesting situation. At first she doesn't know what it is, no matter if she's been with men or women. Top or bottom. She's never understood why she needed to care for someone. Mainly because she never cared for the others like she does you.
Yumeko loves you, therefore she does research into aftercare. Mainly out of fear that you'll slip into sub drop. She does her best with food and comfortable clothes, a warm bath and good television. She knows that isn't all that's required though, she reminds herself that you need to reminded you're loved.
All in all(and I do genuinely believe this) Yumeko is a good lover. Stalker!ver or not. She does love you, Yumeko shows her love to those she cares about. It's different and sometimes weird, and sometimes it's completely stupid and makes her look dumb. She does understand things better than you'd think.
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Hi I'm updating again. This is one of the many in my inbox, after I get down to a decent and not so overwhelming number I will begin to open my inbox(commissions will stayed closed. You can request like normal when I open requests again, I'd like to build a bigger platform before I do commissions.
If you want to be told exactly when this comes out I'm now willing to @ you. So just ask in the comments and I will add you for every post after this one.
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terabyteturtle · 4 months
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hey!!! Can I have Jin Kazama x Pregnant wife (who happens to be a model) Reader headcanons. An idea I have is what if they have to keep the pregnancy a secret from Kazuya due to a fear of harm??? Make it fluff with a bit of angst
Jin Kazama x Pregnant Model Wife Headcanons
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Once again, I apologize for taking so long! I tried my best to encapsulate everything you put in the request. Hopefully, it's what you wanted!
- It takes him a while to process the fact that you're pregnant. When you first break the news to him, he's just in shock. He experiences so many emotions at once that his mind just stops working. You better have a chair ready because Jin will need to sit down and process everything for a few moments.
- Once it sets in, he becomes angry with himself. He took every precaution to prevent this from happening, and yet somehow, it still did. It's his fault. It has to be. Jin blames himself for burdening you with a child potentially capable of mass destruction, and although he's tried to separate you from his family feud, you're bound to get dragged into it anyway, and it's all because of him.
- The fact that you're a model only makes matters worse. You already get a ton of publicity and exposure on a daily basis, but now that you're pregnant, that'll increase tenfold. With help from Lee and Lars, you and Jin have managed to keep both your relationship AND your marriage a secret so far. However, with a child on the way, it'll be impossible to keep that secret any longer. People will ask questions about the father's identity, and it's only a matter of time before the paparazzi find out the truth.
- Upon realizing this, Jin launches into full-on panic mode. As soon as he's revealed as the father of your child, his face is going to be all over the media. And Kazuya will be the first one to see it. Jin isn't entirely sure what his father would do, but he has his suspicions. He can only imagine the sheer horror of G Corp soldiers busting down your door, hunting you down like hound dogs trying to take you and the kid. If those suspicions are correct, then you'll likely be forced into hiding until the war is over. As long as Kazuya retains his powerful position, there's no telling how much danger you'll be in.
- Additionally, the people closest to him are sure to freak out. Xiaoyu and Hwoarang would panic, and he already knows Lars won't take kindly to it. He's not sure how Lee or Alisa would react, and that uncertainty only makes him more nervous. Jin knows that he should tell his loved ones before they find out through the media, but the mere thought of mentioning it makes his heart skip a beat.
- To top it all off, Jin's main mission is to exterminate his bloodline once and for all. The fact that you are now pregnant is pretty much the opposite of what he wanted.
- His course of action was to take Kazuya's life, then take his own. He was ready to sacrifice himself so that the Devil Gene would no longer exist. As much as he loved the people closest to him, as much as he adored and cherished every moment with you, he knew deep down that the world would be better off without people like him.
- But now, this complicates everything. He doesn't want to take his own life and leave you to raise the kid by yourself. Sure, friends and loved ones might help you out, but at the end of the day, you're going to have a lot of responsibility on your hands. Additionally, Jin knows how it feels to have grown up without a proper father figure, and he'd seen how difficult it was for his mother. He knows how it feels to have lost a parent, and no matter how much time passes, it will always hurt. Does he really want his child to witness those same struggles? To feel the same pain? Does he really want to leave you behind, after everything you've been through?
- Beneath that cold, edgy exterior, there's a soft spot in his heart that truly wants to settle down with you, but he doesn't believe it'll be possible.
- As he tries to solve his dilemma, a million questions race through his mind. Like, what if the kid has the Devil Gene? Will he have to kill his own child? But it's not just his child; it's your child too, and he can't bear to imagine the pain you'd feel if that were to happen.
- But then, what if the kid doesn't have the Devil Gene? What if they turn out to be a normal kid? In that case, he'd care for them and love them until the end.
- But that's when a thought strikes him.
- Why does it matter whether they have the Devil Gene or not? They're still human, after all. They still deserve love and compassion and nurturing. Just because they have the Devil Gene doesn't mean they're inherently evil; they still deserve a chance. Hell, Jin himself has it, and although he's done some terrible things, he's trying his hardest to atone for them.
- Maybe Jin could help teach them how to control it. Not that he really has control over it himself, but that's okay. Maybe they could learn together. Maybe that could be their way to bond.
- That's when he starts to realize how happy this truly makes him. He loves you more than life itself, and the fact that he's going to have a child with you is one of the greatest blessings life can give him. Being a father will come with a lot of responsibility, but Jin is willing to bear it and do the best he can for his kid. He realizes that he is willing to undergo the trials and tribulations that loom ahead, and he will fight to the ends of the Earth to keep you both safe.
- Jin will try and convince you to take a break from modeling and lay low for a while, as any publicity will become more dangerous as time passes on. You think it would be suspicious to just drop off the face of the Earth, which is why you let your agency know beforehand that you're going to be taking a hiatus for personal matters.
- As the baby starts growing and it becomes progressively obvious that you're pregnant, you will be heavily discouraged from going outside at all. For the baby's safety as well as your own, it's best that you refrain from going out in public where the paparazzi are bound to catch you.
- Naturally, Jin becomes very protective over both of you. He starts treating you like a glass vase because he's scared of hurting you somehow. He also gets slightly paranoid around the others and sticks by your side to make sure nothing happens to you.
- He still blames himself a lot for everything that's happening, and he's sorry that you can't just have a normal pregnancy. You have to reassure him that no one's at fault for this, and you're just as willing to fight for the baby as he is. If you have to break away from your normal life to keep them safe, then so be it. It'll all be worth it in the end.
- With a lot of encouragement from you, Jin confides in his friends, starting with Lee, who is happy to help you guys out. As the CEO of a well-known company, he can try to pull some strings and get the press to leave you alone. While it's no guarantee that they'll be gone completely, Lee will try his best to hold them off for a little while. He'll also give you a secret place to stay, stocked with plenty of food and water.
- Lars almost freaks out but manages to keep himself composed. He congratulates both of you and agrees to help you out in whatever way possible. If there's anything you need, be it more food, more water, or just more paper towels, he and Alisa will go out shopping and get it for you.
- Alisa and Xiaoyu are super excited and happy for you. Although the circumstances are not ideal, they still want to make sure that you enjoy yourself and celebrate your pregnancy. In fact, they've already started planning your baby shower.
- Hwoarang also ends up being super supportive. Though he makes himself out to be a tough guy, he has a big soft spot for babies. Rest assured, he will fight tooth and nail to keep this kid safe. Also, Hwoarang has officially proclaimed himself the child's godfather, and there is nothing you or Jin can do about it.
- If Jin's stressed out, you let him lay down and press his ear to your belly. Listening to the baby and being physically close to you has become the most calming feeling in the world to him.
- If Jin doesn't know what to do in certain situations, he'll stop and ask himself what Jun would do. He loves his mother deeply and thinks very highly of her. She was a loving and nurturing woman, so when it comes to taking care of you, he tries his best to emulate that kindness. Jun was a wonderful parent, as well as an excellent role model. When the baby arrives and he officially becomes a parent, Jin deeply hopes he'll turn out to be half as good as she was.
- He will constantly ask you if there's something he can do better. From this point forward, Jin will always be questioning whether or not he's doing the right thing. Your input is valuable to him, and if there's any advice or guidance you have to give, he'd greatly appreciate it.
- At the end of the day, Jin wants to be the best father he can be. Your child's happiness, as well as your own, mean the world to him. No one can take either of you away from him, and Angel have mercy on those who dare try.
157 notes · View notes
beskarandblasters · 4 months
Text
“Din”scord Kitten
Discord Kitten!Din Djarin x F!Reader
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Main Masterlist | Din Djarin Masterlist
Author’s note: I don’t fucking know anymore okay 😭 The Discord Kitten!Din edit is by @pedgito!! Shout out to my boyfriend for taking a mirror selfie in the Mando helmet for this 💀
Summary: When bounty hunting doesn’t work out anymore Din has to turn to alternative methods to support himself.
Word count: 3.8k
Warnings: reader is able-bodied, this is a crack fic lmao, Discord/Venmo/Dr. Pepper existing in Star Wars, bad sexting, dick pics, masturbating, bad Star Wars puns, sex work, cummies needs its own warning 😭, pet names (cyar’ika), oral sex (M receiving), cum eating, no use of y/n
Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics Fic recs: @kelbellsficrecs
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“I’m sorry, Mando. I’m fresh out of jobs today.”
Kriff, that’s the third day in a row that there’s been absolutely no jobs, no bounties to go after, nothing. 
How is he supposed to repair the Razor Crest’s engine? How is he supposed to fix the broken pipe in the refresher? How is he supposed to feed himself?
“Thanks anyway, I guess,” Din mumbles. He sighs. It’s not really Karga’s fault that things are slow lately. He must be suffering, too. 
Din wracks his brain, trying to think of different ways to earn credits. But his mind is blank. 
He could get a job…? But then he shoots that idea down pretty quickly. How funny would it be if he just walked into a place of business and asked for a job, all decked out in beskar? He can’t make or sell anything. He doesn’t have any skills. His skill is bounty hunting and that’s about it. 
Just as he’s about to exit through the cantina door, he hears a voice whisper, “Hey, Mando.”
He looks to his right and sees a man, one he’s never seen around here before. The man motions for Din to come closer. He’s skeptical but Din knows when and where to keep his guard up so he follows. 
The man is shorter than Din, with shifty eyes and greasy hair matted down on his forehead. Before Din can ask what he wants the man speaks first. 
“I heard about your little problem just now.”
“It’s none of your business,” Din says, starting to turn and walk away. 
“What if I had a solution for you?” he says, stopping Din in his tracks. 
“What is it?”
“You ever heard of Discord?”
“…No.”
“Do you have a data-pad?”
“…Yeah.”
“Download the app Discord.”
“What is it?”
“Like a chat room. Trust me, there are so many lonely housewives who have too many credits lyin’ around. You chat them up, maybe show em a little something something, minus the face of course. And you’re golden. Just make sure you download Venmo so they can wire you the credits.”
It sounds nefarious, taking advantage of lonely, vulnerable people. But he needs to earn some credits. Or else he’ll never take a bounty again, never use the refresher again, and never eat again. Not dramatic at all. 
“Okay… Thanks,” he says awkwardly, slowly inching his way out of the cantina. He power walks to the Razor Crest, anxious to boot up his data pad and download this Discord thingy. He’s not the best with social interactions to begin with but surely being behind a screen will help… right? 
As soon as he’s settled in his bunk he pulls out his data-pad, searching up Discord and Venmo and downloading them both. Once he opens Discord, he’s prompted to pick out a username and password. And he spends a bit too long deciding what his username will be. But ultimately he goes with BountyMan1 because BountyMan just had to be taken already. For a password, he chooses… password. Not much thought was put into that one. 
Ah kriff, he needs to choose an icon. There’s no way someone will want to chat up a blank circle. For this one, he’s going to need the mirror in the refresher. He holds up his data pad in the mirror, taking an extremely blurry photo. He looks at it and decides it’ll do before retreating to his bunk again.
And now… it’s time to flirt with some lonely women. He has his location service activated so the profiles he’s seeing are from people on Nevarro, some of the people he recognizes and knows. Who would’ve thought? 
But to be safe, he chooses a different planet instead. He doesn’t need anyone recognizing him in the streets as that weirdo on Discord. So he sets his location as Tatooine just to be safe. 
He decides to slide into the direct messages of three profiles to start, to get some practice in. He messages the users; TatooineBaby, SoMuchSand47, and JabbaTheSlut. Each of their icons is just a picture of them on Tatooine. JabbaTheSlut’s icon is a little risqué, showing a bit of cleavage. He tries to ignore the way his cock twitches in his flight suit.
He types out a simple “Hey ;)” and waits for a response. To his delight, JabbaTheSlut responds first, saying; “Hey there handsome,” which Din finds extremely funny given that she can’t see his face. Not even just because of the helmet, but also the blurry as shit photo he used. 
SoMuchSand47 blocks him and his ego is bruised a bit. But he reassures himself that there will be a few losses in this line of business. TatooineBaby responds with a simple “Hello!”
It’s a small victory but he’ll take it. He got two out of three women to respond to him. And now he’s about to enter the next phase; chatting them up. 
“Thanks, sexy,” he responds to JabbaTheSlut, internally cringing at himself a bit. 
As JabbaTheSlut is typing, he responds to TatooineBaby, taking a different approach this time.
“How are you doing, beautiful?” he types, feeling a little less cringe about this interaction.
Soon enough, he’s engaged in conversations with them both. And he already finds it overwhelming to maintain two at the same time. Maker, how is he going to handle any more?
The conversations are fine, nothing too abnormal. JabbaTheSlut is more flirty than Tatooine Baby is. He thinks it’ll probably be easier to squeeze credits out of her than the other one. And that’s when JabbaTheSlut takes the conversation to a sexual turn. 
“You packing? ;),” she asks.
“Yes.”
“Care to show me?”
“Not for free. How much would you pay for a dick pic from a Mandalorian?
Kriff, what if she ends it here? What if she tells him to piss off and then blocks him?
“Fifty credits. What’s your Venmo?”
He can’t believe his eyes. Kriff, he needs to set up his Venmo. He still hasn’t done that. He closes out of Discord to open Venmo, hastily making an account with the same username as Discord. He links his Venmo to his account at the InterGalactic Banking Clan. Cool, that’s all set now. He messages JabbaTheSlut back with his Venmo handle and now it’s time for the… dick pic. 
He’s never done this before. Of course, he hasn’t. He barely knew how to work the holo-pad when he first bought it and honestly, he still doesn’t completely understand how to use it now. He pulls out his cock, stroking it enough just to get it hard but it’s not working. He’s feeling the pressure. He has to think about something else, something to get him hot and bothered. His mind immediately goes to this hot woman he saw at a cantina on Naboo once. She had long green hair and beautiful eyes. And when she spoke with Din at the bar she placed a hand on his bicep– he thought he was going to melt right there and then. 
Okay, this is working now. He’s getting hard. Alright, time to take the picture. He grabs his cock and strokes towards the base, pulling his foreskin down. He can’t decide whether or not to take a picture with the flash on or off so he does one of each. But ultimately he decides to send her the one with flash.
He checks his Venmo and sees she sent him the fifty credits. He can’t believe someone actually paid for this. He sends her the picture and anxiously awaits her response. 
“Damn. It’s big. Not that I expected any less from a Mandalorian ;),” she says.
Alright, this was enough activity for him for one evening. He needs to rest and try not to feel shame about what he just did. He checks on the conversation with TatooineBaby and she never responded. Oh well, a win is a win. Maybe he won’t be so bad at this after all.
When he wakes up the next morning, there’s a slew of messages. There are some from JabbaTheSlut but there are also some messages from new people entirely. He has messages from JediPussyTrick, BeMyNaboo, SorganSlut69, and WhoreForMandalore. They’re from planets all over the galaxy. He must’ve changed his location range by accident. 
All of the messages are various generis horny messages, except for one. There’s one from WhoreForMandalore that’s not sexual in nature but rather curious instead. He looks at their icon, a beautiful woman. He swears the background of the picture is Nevarro but it’s hard to tell from how small it is. 
“Are you a real Mandalorian?” WhoreForMandalore’s message says… your message says. 
He chooses to respond to you first.
“I am.”
“Hot.”
“Nice username.”
“Thanks! Bit of an inside joke between me and my friends.”
“What kind of joke?”
“You could say I have a fetish for them I guess.”
“Oh??”
“Mask kink goes hard.”
“I see…” he replies. He doesn’t really know what to say next but he’s intrigued by you. In the meantime, he checks out his other messages. JabbaTheSlut is asking about pricing for other stuff this time… videos of him masturbating. He supposes he could, but he’ll have to charge more. 
“A hundred credits,” he types. 
“You got yourself a deal baby,” she responds. And within an instant, there’s a notification from his Venmo, one hundred credits. Alright, it's time to do the deed. It’s hard to get hard on demand but he’ll have to get used to it if this is the life he wants to live.
His mind wanders, going back and forth about what to think of to get himself hard. His mind settles on you and your Discord icon. He can’t quite put his finger on why. Your picture wasn’t a sexual one, just a normal photo of you smiling with the sun beaming down on you. But then he thinks about what you said… mask kink. 
Kriff, that gets him hard. He’s stroking himself mindlessly before realizing he has to film this, hastily opening his camera and pressing record. It all happens so fast– his hand wrapped around his cock, his pre-cum leaking from the head of his cock, the soft moans and groans he’s letting out. Before he even realizes it, he’s coming ropes of cum, moaning and cursing under his breath. He stops the video and takes a second to process what just happened. That’s the fastest he’s ever came. And all he did was think about you and your mask kink…
He has to message you again. 
He sends the video of him jerking off to JabbaTheSlut and rushes back to his conversation with you.
“You ever been with Mandalorian?” he types.
While he anxiously awaits your response he checks his other messages. SorganSlut69 is asking what types of services he offers. He supposes he should make a price list now. 
He types out:
15 credits for nude mirror pics (helmet stays on of course)
25 credits for bulge pics
50 credits for dick pics
100 credits for jerk off vids
+25 credits for pictures of the mess after
Venmo: BountyMan1
That seems reasonable, right? He sends the price list to SorganSlut69 and checks his other messages. He decides just to send his price list to everyone actually, figuring it would be easier that way. But he holds off on sending the price list to you for some reason. JabbaTheSlut immediately asks for an aftermath picture and sends twenty-five credits. He takes the picture before his cock goes fully soft and sends that over. 
SorganSlut69 says, “Mirror picture first. I want to see what I’m working with.”
He sighs and gets up, cleaning up the mess of cum and slowly taking off his armor and flight suit. He realizes he has to be hard again for this picture so he strokes his cock once more, thinking of you…
Soon enough, he’s rock-hard and holds up his data-pad in front of the mirror, snapping a photo but waiting to send it until he receives the credits. SorganSlut69 sends the fifteen credits and he sends the picture, taking the time to transfer all of his new credits to his bank account before proceeding any further. He surely has enough to fix the pipe in the refresher now but he has to keep going if he’s going to repair the Razor Crest’s engine. 
A notification from you pops up on his screen. 
“Nope ;),” you respond. All the better for him. 
I can do this, he tells himself. 
Little does he know he’s great at this actually.
-
A few rotations have passed and even if that short amount of time he’s built up regulars; JabbaTheSlut, BeMyNaboo, JediPussyTrick, and SorganSlut69. And then there’s you. He hasn’t brought up his new line of work with you just yet. His conversations with you range from sexual topics to random casual stuff. He likes talking to you and maybe he doesn’t want to bring up what he does yet, fearing it may change your dynamic from a woman he’s talking with to one of his clients.
His regulars are… fine. The conversations there are purely transactional, never extending into real conversation. Except for SorganSlut69 who tries to converse with him. She’s extremely annoying but she tips on top of paying paying Din his normal rate. So he feels obligated to entertain her.
One afternoon you happen to ask him, “So you’re a bounty hunter?”
Kriff, he feels like he can’t lie to you for some reason. Even though it’s so easy to do that over a screen, but he just can’t bring himself to do it.
“I used to be,” he replies.
“What do you do now?” you ask.
“...I sell photos.”
“Photos? What kind?”
He sighs and figures it would be easier just to send you his price list. Maybe you’ll want something?
Your response is so cute to him for some reason.
“Would it be okay if I bought something?”
You’re like… asking for permission to use his services. He doesn’t quite get why but it’s adorable to him.
“Of course. What would to like?”
“Hmm, a bulge pic.”
Right after you send that he gets a notification from Venmo. And just when he thought you couldn’t get any cuter you do, putting a little note in the memo on the transaction.
“Thank you <3,” the note says.
He’s already hard because it’s you of course. He snaps a photo and sends it your way, extremely anxious for your response.
“Oh wow,” you respond with an emoji that has a shocked expression on its face.
“You like what you see?” he asks. 
“I doooo,” you say.
“You want anything else?”
“Video?”
Maker, he’s excited to send you this video. He’s already hard and horny for you, thinking about what it would be like with you here, straddling him and soaking his cock. Kriff, he wants you bad.
He pulls out his cock, the tip glistening with the most pre-cum he’s ever seen. He begins recording, stroking his cock slowly before building up to a faster pace. He wishes he wasn’t about to cum in his hand, instead wishing he was coming on you, inside you- wherever you wanted him. 
Before he knows it, he’s coming in his hand, letting out a deep and visceral moan, his imagination feeling almost real for a moment. He stops recording and sends you the video before checking to see if you even sent the credits first. You did, though, he just couldn’t recall during his state of bliss. The memo on the transaction is filled with a bunch of hearts of course. He’s got it bad for you.
-
A few weeks pass by and his business is going stronger than ever. The Razor Crest’s engine is repaired. The pipe in the refresher is fixed. And he’s got enough rations to last him for weeks. He has a few more regulars and SorganSlut69 is just as annoying. His conversations with you are deeper and more meaningful, despite you being one of his customers. He wonders if one day this will progress any further. 
His questions are answered when you send him a message that says, “Have you thought about selling your cum?”
The question makes his brain short-circuit. 
“No… Why?”
“I told my friends I was talking to a Mandalorian and they told me I need to try some of his cummies.”
“To do what with it?”
“I don’t know exactly… Play with it?”
That’s not. 
“Okay… How do I get it to you?”
“Where are you located?”
“...Nevarro.”
“No way! Me, too.”
Kriff, he wasn’t imagining it. The background in your icon was actually Nevarro. 
“Meet up at the marketplace?” he asks. 
“Sure. How’s tonight?”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah! After sundown?”
“Sure!”
Krifffff, he’s nervous. How is he going to do this? It’s still pretty early in the day. He can’t imagine you want his hours-old cum in a jar. 
Maybe he can… convince you to watch? Maybe. 
Whatever, he’ll just find out when he sees you. 
-
Nightfall comes around and Din is anxious to meet you in person, to hear what your voice sounds like, to see what you smell like– to see if you match the idea he has of you in his head.
He heads to the marketplace as darkness sweeps through the town, no one around except for nefarious characters. And Din doesn’t care about what those people think of him. He spots a figure in the center of the marketplace, facing away from him. 
It has to be her, he thinks to himself. 
He approaches slowly before softly calling out, “WhoreForMandalore?”
“Hi! You must be BountyMan1,” you say, turning around and greeting him with a smile. You immediately tell him your real name and he repeats it over and over in his head, deciding that it suits you. 
“So… Do you have it?” you ask, complete with a suggestive smirk. 
“Oh! I, uh, thought you might want it… fresh?” he sputters. He could have worded that better. 
“Oh! Um-”
“You know… not stale.”
“Right! My place or yours?”
“I’ve got a cramped ship so maybe yours?”
“Sounds good!” you say cheerfully, leading the way to your house.
It’s a small house on the outskirts of town, the opposite side from where Din parks the Razor Crest. You let him inside, closing the door behind you before leading the way to your bedroom. Din takes a look at his surroundings, noticing little details about your living space as he walks through. You sure like Dr. Pepper… He can tell by all the cans on your coffee table, on the kitchen counter, and on your nightstand. 
“Make yourself at home,” you say, gesturing to the bed. 
He sits at the edge of the bed awkwardly, feeling incredibly nervous. Are you going to watch him do this? Kriff, that thought alone already has him hard. 
“Where do you, uh, want it?” he says, glancing around the room, “In this?” he says, picking up an empty Dr. Pepper can. 
“Hmm, I have a different idea,” you say suggestively, walking in front of him and kneeling on the floor.
“Oh? What are you-” he cuts himself off when his breath hitches at your touch. Your hand slides up his thigh, inching closer to his cock.
“Is this okay?” you ask sweetly, peering up at him.
“Y-Yes… More than okay,” he stutters.
“Alright,” you chuckle, undoing the flight of his flight suit. Never in a million cycles did Din think he’d be here in your bedroom, with you on your knees before him, taking his cock out. His brain short circuits and he realizes he should set down the Dr. Pepper can he’s still awkwardly holding. He sets it back down on your nightstand and shudders when your hand finally wraps around his cock. You start by going slow, licking his balls, and kissing the base of his shaft. Your lips and tongue move ever so slowly, teasing him relentlessly. 
“Kriff, cyar’ika,” he moans, “Oh wait, do you know what that means?” he asks, voice jumping an octave as you lick one long, slow stripe from his base to his tip.
“You think WhoreForMandalore doesn’t know what cyar’ika means?” you tease.
“You’re right. I-” He’s cut off again when you swirl your tongue in between the head of his cock and his foreskin. He curses in Mando’a, his voice low and the words so jumbled you can barely make out what he said. Your hand wraps around the base as you finally take him in your mouth, fitting as much of his length as you can. Your head bobs up and down as your tongue is flat against the underside of his cock. His hands caress each side of your head, ever so lightly because he’s unsure if it’s okay or not. But when you moan at the feeling of his gloved hands enveloping your face he grips harder, using a little more force. You look up at him, directly into his visor and Din has to try his best not to bust right then and there, in love with the way you’re so eager to please him. Your other hand cups his balls as you suck him off faster, picking up the pace when you hear his moans grow stronger. 
And then he cums, hot cum spilling down your throat all while you don’t break eye contact, swallowing every last drop. He lets out a deep, guttural moan from underneath his helmet, his mixture of pants and curse words filling your bedroom. And once he’s done coming, you don’t stop, prolonging his high even further. 
But once he’s finally done and you take him out of your mouth, you look up at him, resting back on your heels. 
“Was that okay?”
“That… was amazing, cyar’ika,” he pants, still in disbelief that that just happened. He just expected to jerk off into a Dr. Pepper can, not receive head from the most beautiful woman on Nevarro. He looks down at you as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and feels… nervous all of a sudden. He’s never done anything like that before… like ever. 
He rises from the bed and dashes out of your room, all while you’re looking up at him in confusion. 
“Bye. Thanks for everything. Don’t worry about paying me!” he calls out over his shoulder, leaving your house and swiftly heading back to the Crest. 
He runs inside and sits in his bunk, panting from his little sprint and the evening’s activities. He wants to see you again. That is if you’ll still have him after.
His worries subside once he hears a noise from data-pad go off. He picks it up and reads a Discord notification from you. 
“I had fun tonight. Until next time, Mando ;)”
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Hopefully y’all caught the little Easter egg in the beginning but, the woman with long green hair and beautiful eyes is @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin 😍😏
@pedrostories
183 notes · View notes
a-aexotic · 1 year
Note
i’m so glad u do jj imagines he has my heart😻
anyways so
jj x reader where she’s like really close to all the pogues, and they’re all protective of her, maybe she could be like the youngest one or something, and rafe hits on her at a party and jj comes to the rescue and it ends w them telling their feelings to eachother
i love all your work so much btw!!
pairing. jj x fem!reader
warnings. alcohol consumption, rafe being rafe, mention of hangovers
summary. when rafe bothers reader ar a party, jj comes to the rescue.
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It was all a haze. The drinking, the loud music, the dancing. It felt like a big fever dream. You don't even remember where you are. All you remember is coming in with Pogues and now, you have no idea where you are.
This might've been your 3rd drink. Or wait, was it 5? You can't remember. You were laying on the couch trying to recenter yourself when you feel the couch next to you dip. You turn your head to meet Rafe Cameron's gaze.
You never liked him. He was always mean to the Pogues, including you for a while but he hasn't bothered you since you had started dating JJ. You were the youngest one of the group, just by a few months but the youngest nonetheless so the Pogues were very protective of as well and after a few fights with Kie and John B, Rafe had finally backed off.
Rafe knew better than to mess with JJ's girlfriend and the Pogues beloved baby Pogue. Or so they thought.
"Hey Y/N." He spoke, a smile playing on his lips.
You were confused on why he was even acknowledging you, he usually just ignored your existence. "Hey."
"How are you enjoying the party, is JJ here?"
You paused for a second, why did he care if JJ was here or not? "Uh, yeah. He's somewhere."
You were to drunk to realize that Rafe was very much flirting with you. He talked your ear off about golf and you were getting overwhelmed. Rafe had gotten closer to you, the music was too loud and you were nauseous from the drinks.
"Hey!" You heard someone shout. You turned around to see JJ walking towards you, a scowl on his face. You were instantly relieved because golf wasn't that interesting to you and you were getting tired; you just wanted to go home and sleep.
"JJ." Rafe sighed, as if even seeing him was an inconvenience.
"The fuck you talking Y/N for, huh?" JJ had grabbed your arm and pulled you up, putting an arm around your waist. His touch had help your sense calm down a bit.
Rafe rolled his eyes, getting up. "Calm your tits, man. I was just having friendly-"
"Friendly, my ass. You talk to her, again, I'll kill you." JJ had let go of you to get in Rafe's face to make his point. Rafe had let out a small laugh before raising his hands up in defense, walking away.
JJ turned to you, a sigh escaping his chapped lips. "You okay?"
"Yep, I feel a bit..." You paused, feeling your stomach grumble in pain. "Nauseaus."
JJ laughed and went over to you, putting an arm over your shoulder to help you walk. "How many drinks have you had?"
"I don't know like, five?"
"Five? You're a lightweight."
"Shut up." You grumbled unhappily. "Or I'll throw up all over you."
"Okay, okay. But Kie isn't going to be happy with you drinking that much because she had to take care of you last time."
You groaned at the mention of that night. And then you remembered that tomorrow, your hangover was probably going to be worse. JJ softened his gaze as he looked over at you.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of you this time."
"Thanks, J." You smiled painfully before JJ bent his head towards you so he could plant a kiss on your lips. You melted into the kiss, your stomach pain gradually going away the more passionate the kiss became.
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asterdisaster06 · 8 months
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i love you, ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?
ghost x reader [exes], slight soap x reader [mostly platonic], platonic 141 x reader
1. 2. 3.
summary > "Don't trust people like me. I will hurt you in the most beautiful and intoxicating ways so that you can never go back to your normal life without my ghost following you."
...
"If you always put yourself before others, one day you'll look behind and see that you're all alone."
...
Simon "Ghost" Riley had fucked up. Massively. He had pushed you away because he was scared of losing you to the life he lived. He didn't want to see you go down the same path and lose that beautiful intoxicating spark that you always carried in your eye. And now he didn't even recognize you. Not after you had done so much work to fulfill yourself, changing the person he once knew. You had successfully climbed the ranks of the 141 Taskforce and was now crowned the second lieutenant of the team. However, you can't dodge the piercing looks that Simon sends you every now and then. You can't pretend forever.
warnings > simon riley is alluded to be a bit of a dick in this chapter
a/n > reader cenetred. author has family issues so will be found family-ing this shit. author has no military knowledge so don’t crucify me. also have no idea how long it takes to officially become a Lieutenant but we’re going with around 5 years - shortened from 7+ because us readers are smart and can go to college. it’s very much just poetic feels, but I promise the angst with Simon directly comes eventually. He’s kind of a dick tbh but that’s cause he’s emotionally repressed. i’m romanticising this because i’ve lived through similar and wish this was how it ended lmao
ao3
Simon Riley was the bane of your existence. His very being pissed you off to no end, and it wasn’t unwarranted. That anger had once been crippling sorrow and grief over what you had lost. The anger had begun as a small seed, planted in the harsh words he growled at you through gritted teeth that night. The same words that you hissed back in his face. But eventually you had managed to move on from the love of your life. Managed to move on after weeks spent with tear stained pillows and the stuffed animal he had won you once hugged to your chest. You would’ve shoved that thing in the back of your closet, but you figured you shouldn’t take your anger out on the poor thing. 
Thinking of him still makes you wince like hitting your shin against a table leg, but less so. It’s faded to a simple bruise on your heart that still aches from time to time. A phantom pain for the ghost that still haunts you. Like smoke in the wind. You still fear whispering his name at night as if his spirit will come back to haunt you. You still have the keys to his apartment in your bedside drawer. You still remember where he keeps his spoons. Sometimes you wonder how many cups of tea you’ve wasted from pouring them down the drain after realising you’re still stuck in the habit of making two. 
However, you know it’s for the best that you’ve parted ways. It reminds you a little of a moment in your life with him, ironically. There was this one time that you had managed to drag Simon to the beach as a small celebration for him and were out swimming as the sun had set. He only stuck his toes into the water as you swam out until you couldn’t reach the bottom. He had told you he wouldn’t save you, and you shouted back in response that you didn’t need saving. You almost want to thank him now for saying that he’d let you drown. Thank him for teaching you that you never needed saving. Not from him anyways.
It was this exact night that had led to the complete and utter dismantling of your relationship with one Simon Riley. Recalling it stings like sand in the wind against your bare legs. The kind of pelting pain that leaves no visible marks but hurts nonetheless. It steals the breath from your lungs and puts a stone in your heart. 
You were so happy, so very happy. And you thought that Simon would be too. Especially for you. You broke the news to him as you were laying there on the beach that you wanted to join the military. You wanted to continue that it was because you had looked up to him so very much and wanted to do good just like he did. Even if he didn’t exactly believe he was. Before you could do so though, he had blown up on you. Completely. It was a complete shift from the Simon you thought you had known. You shudder to recall exactly what he had said, but it escalated enough for one of you to call it off. 
It had gone silent after those words were uttered. 
Complete silence.
You had refused to let the tears fall until you had grabbed your shit and booked a flight back to your home town. The airport bathroom had offered a greater sympathy than he had ever given you. He never even called you. You think that’s what hurts the most. That you didn’t mean enough to him to even try and work this out. You expected better from him. You truly did. 
“I can’t fucking believe how bloody stupid you would have to be to do that.”
Nonetheless, you picked yourself up and signed up for the military with your family and friends supporting your every move. Your every breath. You learned to defend yourself, learned to love yourself. You had gotten around here and there, but nobody ever truly measured up to Simon. Sometimes you wonder what would’ve happened if you two had met when you were already in the military, but you always shut down those what if thoughts quite quickly. No use dwelling on something that could never be.
“This is a big fucking mistake, love.”
You rose the ranks quickly, using your spite to your advantage. Every man that reminded you of Simon always made you fight even harder. You had always told a half truth when someone asked why you wanted to join. Not the story of pain and bitterness, but the one of hope and admiration of an old friend. It made you want to throw up after the third time of giving that response, so eventually you simply changed the subject when someone asked. You didn’t even spill your past when you were blackout drunk; it being too painful even then. You drowned your sorrows in liquor and nicotine, going out with your top tier squad every Friday. Sometimes when it came to a close and you were left with the quiet of your own deafening thoughts you went outside to smoke a pack of Simon’s favourite cigarettes. A weakness that you hated yourself for. 
"You are no saint, and you are no saviour either. You're just lying to yourself."
Those words ring out in your mind every time you fail to save someone. A fellow soldier or a civilian, it doesn’t matter. Self doubt creeps up on you, smothering you in its grasp. Your hands remain stained with their blood, no matter how much you scrub your skin raw in the shower. You hear their screams ring out in your brain at night, piercing the thin veil of fitful sleep that you’ve resigned yourself to after you had lost the warmth of your other half that used to hold you tight at night. Your eyes had lost their brightness, though you can’t say it’s exactly correlated to the loss of the victims. You couldn’t prove Simon right in that aspect. Not after you’ve come this far. 
"Anything would be better than this!"
You wanted to believe that so badly, but your heart longed for this career almost as much as it did him. You took pride in those you had saved; albeit still haunted by those you could not. The abilities you had earned your right to were presented proudly through tactical patches displayed on your uniform - chest candy as he would’ve called it. But if he couldn’t support you through this, you didn’t know how to trust him for future endeavours. The lack of apologies simply cemented your decision and mindset. 
"Why would somebody do this on purpose?"
It’s a question whose full answer still eludes you to this day. All you know is that you felt homesick for this life before even experiencing it. It’s the ache in your bones and has been carved into your ribs so you may feel the torment and euphoria all at once when your heart slams against the cage that keeps it safe. Contained. 
It’s these thoughts that occupy your mind on the plane trip to the infamous compound that houses the 141 Taskforce. Anxiety pierces your nerves, sending what little food you had that morning tumbling around your stomach. Forgetting your meds this morning was likely the worst thing that you could have possibly done. Except for completely ghosting this experience. How odd it is to be haunted by someone still alive. Someone who has no idea if you’re still breathing, let alone travelling to your very location at that moment. 
There was no logical reason for you to turn this collaboration down; in fact, in any other circumstances you would be proud of rising so far that you were sent to this facility. Except for the fact that it was this facility. The very one that your ex who has tormented you through night a day for years. You hadn’t spoken a word of his name to anyone after the first month following the breakup. You wanted a life where your friends didn’t even know his name, let alone his significance. He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to be a part of your life anymore. 
You repeat this mantra to yourself as you realise you’re finally landing. 
Shit.
That syllable is the only thing bouncing around your head as you’re greeted by John Price. The John Price. Alone, you notice. You had heard bits and pieces of Ghost’s team, but mostly of either Soap’s shenanigans or Price’s rulings over him. You swallow harshly and shake the hand of the powerful Captain. The very same one that had no idea that one of his subordinate’s had been your previous lover. And you planned to keep it that way at all costs. 
“Welcome to the base Lieutenant, I’ve heard great things about you and your stealth skills on the battlefield,” Price spoke, shaking your hand firmly. 
Lieutenant. You had always loved the sound of that word in front of Simon’s name, and had similarly always wondered how it would sound in front of yours. It brought a sense of satisfaction rushing through your veins, and yet at the same time it brought you to your knees from nausea. It reminded you too much of him.
“There was the callsign ‘Angel’ in the details Laswell sent over. Would you say that still suits you?” Price says, almost amused. 
Angel. You had never intended for it to be ever spoken to you again considering its connotations with a nickname Simon had always called you. His little angel. He claimed that you were sent down from the heavens to save the sinners; although, you had never considered him one until the breakup. 
How you had gained this callsign is a story that makes you want to shake like a wet dog. Shake the memory off until it vanishes from your grasp. When you were simply doing your job and slowly climbing the ranks through your initial trade training, you had this sergeant that had taken a liking to you. Much to your chagrin. He had started every conversation with the classic pickup line about you falling from heaven. It was pure torment that you had to endure for almost a full year; a year in which the nickname stuck. Nobody was willing to do anything about it, and you weren’t willing to cause a fuss by tattling on your - at the time - superior. It ended up following you out of that academy into your career. 
Although, you had quickly earned the added benefit of having ‘Angel of Death’ be your full callsign after you had proven your covert operation skills - effectively wiping out an entire compound by yourself with none the wiser. Safe to say that mission was a success. The name now had something to do with your actual skills instead of your physical appearance and led you to cringe at the honorific less and less. 
“I don’t think I’d be able to answer to anything else, Sir,” You answer, wincing at the mention of your callsign nonetheless.
He sends you a questioning look at your small recoil, but brushes it off in favour of moving onto a general tour of the area. It was a sizable facility with many accommodations that made you almost smile with anticipation of taking advantage of all of them. I mean, you even got your own personal shower with your room. Who is going to complain about that?
“So, that’s basically it,” Price finishes up the tour in his office. “I know you already signed off with Laswell on your contract, but just for the record, may I have you sign a few documents here in this folder? Feel free to take your time going through them.”
You overlooked the folder, noticing what little details you had shared throughout your career being asked to be confirmed by your penmanship. It makes you give a shallow smile at the memories you’ve contracted through your experiences. Some less than savoury, but many you wouldn’t give up for the world. You were looking forward to catching up with your friends back at your old base once you were settled in, but until then you scratched pen against paper. 
You had finally completed signing on all the lines, getting a little tired at being told ‘here, here, and here’ over and over again. Your eyes burned with exhaustion, not quite realising how much your anxiety had taken out of you. Your hands had a small leftover tremor plaguing them as you handed the pen back to Price, but you felt better. Significantly better. 
“I can tell you’re tired, so I’ll lead you to your quarters and let you rest there for tonight,” Price says, sending you a small quirk of his lips.
“Thank you, Captain,” You reply, sending a tired yet appreciative look in his direction. 
“Oh, please, call me Price. If you know Kate as well as she says you do, you’ve earned that at the least,” He laughs. 
You flush red, letting out a bashful grin at that. It was true that you had run into Kate a few times before realising what a big part she played in your field of work. Most of the time at the coffee shop where you held a part-time job while attending the military academy. However, the time you had sat across from her and her wife after getting stood up really sealed the deal. You being introduced as the ‘person that actually gets our coffee right’ which gave you all a good laugh. They had comforted you once you opened up about why you were at a fancy dinner alone, they welcomed you into their open arms, and that was that. The topic ended up on what you were studying for, and it all came out into the open. The silent conversation those two had with their eyes before opening up had almost made you shit yourself before Kate explained. 
You had tried to stay slightly distant after figuring out exactly what she did for a living, but she had shut that down real quick - saying that if anyone had dared to call you a nepo-baby that they wouldn’t live to tell the tale. You really hoped she was exaggerating. 
Back in the present, you were letting out a laugh at Price’s words before there was a knock at the door. Your heart dropped to your stomach, making your breath stumble before completely halting. In your heart, you knew who it was before Price even told him to let himself in. The gruff voice saying he didn’t expect Price to have company so late made you feel like a deer in headlights, unable to move as their untimely demise stares them right in the face. 
Except this time around, this deer had broken through the freeze reaction long ago. You had learned and adapted, unwilling to relive being frozen as Simon yelled in your face yet again. You couldn’t face the shame quite yet, not unprompted at least.  
You quickly turned away from your initial reaction of turning to the door. You mouth goodbye to Price and nod in respect; hoping that he would forgive you for abandoning his office without any notice. You kept your eyes to the floor, feeling his eyes staring holes through you, burning your skin like a bullet wound. 
You had changed a lot throughout the years, more so in preparation for being moved here. You weren’t going to turn down this once in a lifetime opportunity just because of a silly disagreement over half a decade ago. You remember staring at a face you barely recognize today while gripping the porcelain off white sink in your shared bathroom. Past you taking actions to change your hair into something that ended up being the new normal. You had taken a page out of Ghost’s book and invested in DIY-ing a personalised mask that resembled a bird with tinted glass shielding your eyes from anyone that could recognize you simply off that. You actually had quite a few - each one for a different occasion. 
Nonetheless, the mask you currently wore, its only purpose that you cared about right now was hiding your identity. Simon didn’t immediately react, so you took that as a good sign. You wouldn’t be surprised if he was simply concealing his emotions, but you had a feeling that wasn’t the case. You peruse the halls, not entirely sure how to get to your room. You had a vague idea, but backtracking made it a little more difficult. Especially since you were more concerned with conversing with Price than memorising the exact layout. 
You take a turn around a corner, immediately bumping into someone with a familiar face, your eyes betraying your displeasure as you wordlessly stared into the Scots eyes.
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claraameliapond · 7 months
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PSA : THE INDIGENOUS VOICE REFERENDUM 14th October 2023
The Yes Vote is literally just giving indigenous Australians A SEAT AT THE TABLE to give information and advice about issues and governmental decisions that affect them.
Indigenous information and advice for indigenous issues from indigenous Australians.
That's it . It's acknowledging their existence as the first peoples of Australia and recognising that they have valuable information to contribute about their cultures, the ways they live, what their most pressing needs are and the best ways in which to help, to enable governments to effectively help them.
The government already provides "help" each year, in an effort to close the gap on education access, healthcare access, and many other pressing needs - they are already using taxpayer money to do this but crucially, these efforts have not been successful because we are missing out on crucial information.
The Voice to Parliament gives the government access to invaluable information that enables it to create and better implement aid, education, healthcare , equal opportunity.
I have been very actively involved in many Reconciliaton efforts for the vast majority of my life -
At 16 I travelled to some of the indigenous rural communities in Australia, met elders and individuals no tourist has access to meet, learnt from them, and saw what was there.
I saw the attempts, the efforts to provide access to Western education, that the rest of the country has, to provide healthcare, housing etc.
They don't work
They are based on western ways of life, ideas of community and interaction.
It's not the same.
They don't work.
Fundamentally because even if well intentioned, your efforts to help can actually harm if you don't have access to crucial information about how indigenous communities live.
We need to accommodate our help, our efforts, our aid to the specific needs and ways of life, values and dynamics of the many indigenous communities, especially rural, that exist across Australia, so that they have access to the same human rights we all do.
The human right to healthcare and education that we all have- it's not accessible in the same ways for indigenous communities.
It's provided, but on western terms- with the western expectation that children will leave their families for 6 months at a time and travel extremely far away to attend school, for example.
This is so backwards and outdated even for western sensibilities, and an incredibly outdated mode of education that is unhealthy emotionally for any child, let alone vulnerable people who have to choose between a western run school and their culture, their families - literally being a part of their community, a present member.
There are better ways to provide access to education than this. Ways that don't disrupt their connection to community, land and culture.
And the best people to ask, to provide information that can properly inform us about these issues, and how best to navigate them, fix them, are the the indigenous Australians themselves- they are the experts.
So that our aid and help and efforts actually do - help. Actually work.
The funds are going there anyway. So we need to put it to use in effective ways.
What we have now doesn't work.
We can only make it better.
Please Vote YES for The Indigenous Voice to Parliament
It is the beginning of lasting, effective positive change for vulnerable communities, and for us all.
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aita/wibta for NOT breaking up with my bf ?
i'm not sure if the title is phrased weirdly, bare with me. my bf and i are both 18, he is cis M & i am FTM (relevant).
My bf and i are both currently in first year uni, both living at home due to high cost of living in our country (also everywhere else lol). We met about halfway through highschool, and were friends for a while before getting together. we are coming up on two years together in a couple months, and have not really had any major bumps in our relationship. we see eachother i would say 1-2x per week, with both of us living at home and being broke it gets a little challenging sometimes but we call most nights and generally we make it work. Also worth noting that I am my bf's first everything, down to his first kiss, while he is not really this for me. this is the longest relationship i have been in (probably because i'm 18 lol), but not at all the first. however, the only "serious" relationship i have had outside of of him, aside from just casual stuff, was very abusive & toxic, so i do sort of see us on equal footing as neither of us has ever been in a normal, functional relationship before.
Now, the issue: while we are both currently living at home, i see this as a very temporary arrangement and something i am counting down the days until i can get out of. while living with my family is not abusive or anything, it is just very straining as i am not very close with them, and also cannot transition while living at home. as previously mentioned i am ftm, and while my mom is tolerant it would just put even more stress on the relationship if i were to start changing physically while living at home or even asking her to use different pronouns for me and is just something i prefer to leave until i'm not 100% reliant on her. that being said my dysphoria causes me very intense depression and without getting too detailed, i don't know how much longer i can take living here and putting off any sort of meaningful transition outside of close/online friends calling me he.
my bf, however, plans to live at home at least until he graduates, which is six years away. i understand that this is a very normal thing, especially culturally (he is middle eastern + muslim, i am white + agnostic), but the issue is that his mother is, among many other things, extremely homophobic. she already hates me for reasons i'm not really sure of (my bf refuses to go into detail, i think to protect me, but i have seen extremely graphic and nasty texts about me by name on his phone and have been told by him that he doesn't even mention me around the house or else she gets extremely upset, though she is always extremely nice to me the few times we have interacted), but anyways, me transitioning while he is still living at home would be essentially putting him in legitimate danger.
my bf does not like to think about this, which i understand. it's hard enough dealing with what i get from my family, and that is absolutely nothing compared to the fact that everyone he knows from his culture/religion beleives he should be dead just because he is gay (i know, as does he, that there are queer muslims. but they do not exist openly in his personal community). but the problem is that anytime i adress to him that the idea of waiting until we are in our mid-twenties for me to even think about transitioning is a really big issue for me he basically refuses to talk about it and just says that "it will work out". on top of the transitioning thing i just generally don't want to be twenty-five (the age he has told me is when he plans to move out) and still having to cancel dates last minute because my boyfriend's mom was in a bad mood and decided he's not allowed to go out tonight. i know this is how life is for many people and they learn to deal with it! and i respect them very much! but it is genuinely my nightmare. i understand why he cannot/does not want to cut himself off from his family, especially since his dad lives overseas and is extremely wealthy so therefore paying his entire tuition out of pocket. i'm just saying it's not a lifestyle that meshes well with my future plans.
this is where the asshole part comes in: my bf genuinely thinks that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. this started with small comments, things like alluding to the idea of our potential future kids (i love kids and raising my own is genuinely my end goal in life, something he knows just because i am very open about it), or talking about our future apartment/house, but now is basically just a constant conversation in our relationship. i try not to feed into it, but i also feel badly responding to his sweet comment when i point out a house i like on the street about how we'll buy it one day with something about how i don't ever see that happening. i generally just respond neutrally, but i will admit i get caught up in the fantasy sometimes and contribute to it as well.
he is such a lovely guy with a beautiful heart and i do really adore him, and it's not a situation where i don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. to be honest, that's the dream. i love him with everything i have and i would literally do anything for him. the problem is just that when he talks about this future together all i can picture is all the million ways our relationship is doomed to implode.
but we are happy right now, because me moving out of my family home is not something that is going to be possible for another 1-2 years, so none of those issues are something that are going to come up right now. i just forsee them being pretty much impossible obstacles between us and spending the rest of our lives together down the line. but i have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that even though i want more than anything to be with him forever, the fact that i don't remotely beleive it's something that will actually work out still constitutes as leading him on.
so, am i the asshole for staying with him, because we are happy right now and these issues are not going to be relevant for another 1-2 years, and a solution might somehow present itself in that time? or is the right thing to do to just leave now, and rip off the bandaid?
What are these acronyms?
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