#so serious btw i really want some connections between characters

[commander-gloryforge]

your ocs should be friends with mine btw. my ocs told me they want to be friends with yours. theyre too shy to ask so i have to tell you. my ocs are asking your ocs to be friends with them

#dios wisdom #so serious btw i really want some connections between characters

[matan4il]

Man Suang review

Spoilers! (obviously. Also, this was written after watching the movie just once, to give my opinion as "raw" as possible)

This may seem like a weird spot to start, but I feel like I really can't review this movie properly, without pointing out that it's Moulin Rouge, except set in another country AND another genre. The latter gives it a very different feel (to a great degree, due to tone as well, MS is a serious movie, while MR, even while it does want you to care, doesn't take itself too seriously), but the basic structure of the two movies is too similar, so I have to start there.

In both cases, the movie revolves around (and gets its title from) an entertainment center, which is beautiful and alluring, but also serves as a stage for some of the uglier sides of human urges. This entertainment institution houses performers of low social status, who often also must prostitute themselves to the rich and powerful people who frequent the place. And while the whoring is pretty much built in, and no one bats an eye at it, this setting also allows for some murderous intents to surface. The plot is centered around an exceptionally beautiful and talented, lowborn entertainer, who must sell their body to get by, having aspirations to get a better life through this, and the seemingly simple guy, who is a part of their social circle at this entertainment place, who has his own aspirations, and is not as lowly, which is why he doesn't have to stoop as low as prostitution, and can offer something different. Despite the connection between them, they're both trapped in plots bigger than them, set into motion before they even met, and they have to struggle to find their way amidst all this intrigue, which moves them almost like they were pawns. By the end of the movie, there will be betrayal between the two, but also repentance, and an act of choosing each other over their initial ideal, allowing them to make decisions that are "righter" than they would have, had they not met, and ones that give them more freedom than had they simply served the initial goal they were supposed to. Through that, they gain more freedom and agency. Yet despite that, they don't end the movie being together.

Now, why do I bring this comparison up? Because while MR doesn't take itself seriously, like I said, it does want the viewer to care, and it achieves this by recognizing that they can make a mess of genres, of reality vs hallucination (hello Kylie Minogue as the Green Fairy), of time periods (soundtrack and props that have nothing to do with the year 1900), be as camp and over the top as they wanna be, but if the characters and love story are compelling, we'll all still be riveted.

And that's generally true for every movie. At the end of the day, whatever the genre, we watch first and foremost because someone made us care in some way about at least one of the characters or relationships featured in the film. My fave action movie ever works so well, not because its climax scene is so full of fists (in the middle of a lake at night in total darkness, with the very real threat of the good guy being drowned by the bad one), it hits home because this fight will actually be decided by whether the cold-blooded CIA handler, who had to train the good guy, has come to care enough about him, to be able to tell the two men apart even under these circumstances, and shoot the right person (meaning, the bad guy), saving the protagonist and countless others along the way. It's this test of their (BTW, fully platonic) relationship, that makes up the film's real climax.

So, probably my biggest issue with MS is that it seems to lose sight of that too often. It's so focused on telling us this political mystery, that it forgets at the end of the day, we're here for people and how they feel about and react to each other. The heart of the movie is the relationship between Khem (played by Apo), the entertainer forced to whore himself out, and Chat, the one guy who sees him dancing, but doesn't want just Khem's body. The parts that let their relationship breathe and develop are the best in the movie, they're the ones that feel the most authentic, interesting and impactful. They're the emotional anchor of the whole thing, and even though the movie too often neglects them, and doesn't give them enough time, they just work thanks to Mile and Apo's excellent acting, and their outstanding chemistry. Truly, it's once again a testament of how well these two fit as a team, that they're able to achieve so much, when they're giving too little breathing space for the relationship that is, at the end of the day, the very heart of the film.

The cinematography is great, though I'll admit that I was not that into the colors, I usually like vivid colors, but here they were oversaturated in a way that added a certain sense of heaviness and suffocation to my viewing experience. In a sense, it fits. Man Suang is both beautiful and ugly, alluring and repulsive. Still, I think it would have been a better choice to add the unnatural oversaturation as the ugliness unfolds. First let the viewers be seduced by the beautiful imagery and colors, only then hit them with the ugliness that all of the glitter hides. But then, the movie actually hits us with the ugly bits, with prostitution and murder, in the exposition already. Which makes me think the whole movie could have benefited from a more gradual unfolding of those parts of the entertainment world we're introduced to. Still, I will say that the parts where Khem and Chat get to know each other better, in the market, flying a kite in the field and chatting while climbed up on a tree, they don't have that oversaturation, they get to enjoy more natural lighting, and it gives these scenes a lighter feeling, which does fit. They do seem less burdened in those moments than throughout most of the film. And then the issue with this goes back to... there's just not enough of these scenes, to really give this contrast its own gravitas.

There are scenes which are redundant, they should have been cut out, like when we learn how Tubtim prefers being a whore at Man Suang than outside it. Not that her short monologue isn't touching, but let's be honest, she's not an actual character. She's a plot device, this short scene is only included to set up her change of heart, when she decides to tell Khem the truth, instead of lying. But since this doesn't give her enough depth or her own agency to become a character in her own right, and since she explains her decision to Khem anyway, it's just a waste of time, and it comes at the expense of developing the more emotionally crucial parts of the movie.

And it's not like the movie doesn't know where its emotional weight is. For example, the film's emotional climax, the moment where tensions run highest, is without a doubt the confrontation between Khem and Chat, when they accuse each other of choosing themselves and being willing to sacrifice the other one to do it. It's an effective moment, but I think it would have been so much more powerful, if we got to spend more time seeing Chat and Khem becoming increasingly more important to each other.

For that matter, the real resolution in the movie isn't to the supposed mystery of who has the secret documents and how to get them. It's the resolution of what to do with them, which is where Chat and Khem had clashed. Chat needs the documents destroyed so he and his family won't be punished (possibly killed) for his father's crime. Khem needs the documents delivered to the authorities so that he and his friend won't be punished (possibly killed) for a murder they were framed for. The real resolution of the story is when Khem chooses to burn the documents, so Chat and his family will be safe, and after he leaves, Chat saves them from the flames, and has them delivered, securing Khem's life and reward.

I really liked this part, and again, it felt lighter than the rest of the movie, giving a real sense of relief (visually as well, as there's less oversaturation, and both guys change into nicer outfits, with brighter patches of color). I also enjoyed the more complex POV they offer by the end. They both didn't want the life they were born into. Khem didn't like being of a low socio-economic status, being dependent on the good will of others. Chat didn't want to be a civil servant like his dad. As the movie ends, Khem chooses to stay at Man Suang, turning down the social mobility reward Chat was able to secure for him, while Chatra accepts a position serving his country. Seemingly, they both had to accept their predestined fate. But the fact that they get to choose it now, makes a difference. They see the good they can do, and they're not deprived of humanizing agency. The delivery of this in their dialogues is also quite lovely, with Khem talking about how each type of boat is made for very specific conditions that it must sail, while Chat brings up the fact that now, there are new types of ship, which can defy expectations, and sail in any conditions. They're both right, and they complete each other in describing the place that they ended up in. And the mutual parting, as they both "entrust" something to the care of the other, does reflect their bond.

Still, all of this would have been even more poignant, if this relationship had been given more space. As is, I feel like I even have to guess to a degree why they do care about each other, and why they do end up choosing the other's best interest over their own.

It's a bit clearer with Khem. We see him being exploited for sex, because of his beauty and grace, instead of being seen and appreciated for his talent and hard work. Chat is different. He helps Khem more than once without asking for anything in return, and Chatra also compliments him on his performance. Other than him, there's only one person who seems not to want anything from Khem, his long time friend Wan, but even he ends up betraying and being willing to kill Khem, when Wan doesn't get what he wants from his friend (revenge against all Chinese people). Once more, Chat is different. Yes, he points his revolver at Khem, but he doesn't pull the trigger, he doesn't use the leverage he has in order to force Khem to do what benefits Chat. Instead, he puts down the revolver, and tries to explain himself and his attempt to save his family.

What makes Chat like Khem? I find that a bit harder to answer, though there's a clear and real interest there, which goes beyond Chat's secret mission with the documents. He saves Khem from being discovered during their first meeting, and doesn't ask for anything in return. Chat pays attention to Khem at rehearsals, to his dancing, to his tendency of getting into trouble when not backing down at the face of bullying or injustice... So we can assume Chatra likes all of that. And then he does explicitly express his interest, when he admits to Khem he wanted them to spend that time together at the market.

Which I guess brings me to the question of... okay, so is this a love story? Their relationship is obviously vital to the story, but is it a romantic one? The movie seems to wanna leave it open to interpretation. Maybe it's my hopeless romantic streak, I do wanna see it as a love story. I think there are some hints for that. The mutual interest and liking, even at the stage when they've barely spoken to each other, the way they end up choosing each other even at the possible cost of their own life, the explicit admission from Chat that he was looking to spend time with Khem at the market even when it didn't appear to have anything to do with his secret mission, the way Chat's admission seems to not only make Khem happy, he looks shaken up, there's the kite flying scene, which is played for laughs (flying a kite is apparently Thai slang for jerking off), but still, it's a choice that the movie made, to add a layer of sexual tension there. And then there's the scene where they're trying to figure out who's the woman in red if no one was wearing red on the night they're investigating. Chat steps into the spot where the woman had been, his shirt white, and red light is projected over him. Khem stands in front of him, and they stare at each other for a moment. To me, it serves a double purpose. One is that Khem realizes Chat just handed him the solution to that part of the mystery. The other is that films often illuminate characters in red to show lust and even love. So this might also be a moment when it hits Khem that his feelings for Chat, who's been helping him, who he trusts, run deeper than he realized.

I do think Man Suang would have been braver and better if it had openly gone with the romantic interpretation. It's not just me being an incurable romantic. I also think that, much like in MR, the relationship that changes the course of the two main characters has to be a really strong one, enough for one to decide to give up his life for the other. I'm not sure that friendship quite cuts it, especially when this relationship didn't have that much time to develop (def not enough screen time, but also not enough in-story time). Was love between two men back then a simple thing to admit to? Of course not. But men did fall in love, and even acted on it. I'm not talking here full blown sex. But enough that the audience would know for sure what they feel for each other. On a local TV show, I was reminded that when the small fingers of two people, who are forbidden from any physical connect, do touch, even briefly... something that small and fleeting can still be a confession of deep love and yearning.

Another thing I wish they'd done is make more use of the unspoken tension created by one man dancing to the beat struck by another one. This was so present and delicious in the first teaser released for Mileapo's movie (before it even had a name and a script), I wish they had retained that. It's somewhat present (Khem says he danced so well, thanks to the beat Chat set for him, and then in the scene exposing Tiang, it's Chat's change in drumming that sets the stage for Khem revealing the treason through dance and song), but could have been used so much more. The play between real life and art, the connectedness or contrast between the two men when they're on the same page versus when they're not... There's so much potential for non-verbal drama, and they captured it beautifully in that teaser, so why is it almost non-existent in the film?

I also... I know that the movie is set in the 19th century, and I don't expect 21st century tolerance to be projected back onto it, but I find it hard to ignore that we have one character spew homophobic shit, Khem denying having had sex with another man, basically agreeing it's wrong, and at the same time, men exploiting other men sexually is not looked away from, it's very explicit and built into Khem's story. Each one of these things can be true in its way (there was homophobia, people did have to go with it, there was male on male exploitation alongside this homophobia), but when every explicit thing in this context is negative, while the one positive (the possible love story between Chat and Khem) remains implicit and optional at best, it feels like it unintentionally leans into the homophobic narrative. Take Brokeback Mountain for example. The environment in that movie is highly homophobic, prejudiced, rude and even violent about it. And while Jack and Ennis had a lifelong love story, they couldn't actually live it out in the open because of said homophobia. Ennis in particular would rather punch a guy, than admit Jack was the love of his life. And still, we got to see their love, we got to see that even with all of the societal hardships, it brought them warmth and comfort, and was a reason to risk a lot, even for Ennis, who was so acutely aware of the threat to their lives. I like that BBM was honest in depicting Ennis and Jack having sex, but at the end of it, even without those scenes, the love between them was enough of a counterweight, that it never felt like the movie unintentionally reinforced a negative view of what two men can have together. With MS, I feel like a homophobic casual viewer, who won't get that Chat and Khem saved each other through something that might be more than just friendship, could easily have their negative view reaffirmed.

All in all, I enjoyed MS. I loved seeing Mile and Apo acting together again, I missed that, and their chemistry is just as superb as ever. I'm not sure the movie, getting as distracted from the main relationship as it did, would have worked without their unique addition of beautiful acting and chemistry. So, I would recommend it to friends, but I guess I would also really love to see a better paced, edited and re-focused version of it. Shine, Mileapo's show that will follow in the footsteps of MS, might deliver that. I can't wait to see! ^u^

(if you're curious about any of my other Mileapo/Kinnporsche posts, you can find them here)

#man suang #mile phakphum #mile phakphum romsaithong #apo nattawin #apo nattawin wattanagitiphat #shine the series #mileapo #mkp #man suang cast #kinnporsche #kpts cast #kinnporsche the cast #kpts the cast #mileapo movie #shine post #shine the cast #kinnporschedaily #mileapodaily #kinnporschesource #lgbtq cinema

[weirdmageddon]

ur davejade posting has me Remembering and goddddd. theyre so good. thank u

i want to make a davejade analysis masterpost but the funniest thing with these asks is that theyre the ones that really prompt me to put my thoughts together in some direction and i ALWAYS find a new implication or connection to talk about. like while i’m writing the connections will just make themselves known. if i made a masterpost i’d have to update it every time i think of something new which defeats the purpose of a masterpost because it’d never be finished. so i just like to spitball into separate posts and just shove them in my davejade tag. i was NOT expecting to get back into homestuck with davejade at the forefront but i can see things now i didnt then

im gonna go off again because it’s so obvious to me on this jumpy scrambled “reread” that dave has a fat fucking heart-on / affection erection for jade. hes tryin soo hard to be cool but hes like this with jade actually behind the screen and she knows it

words and deeds of a court jester dude who totally has a crush on his childhood internet friend and doesnt acknowledge it (btw this is woefully incomplete for the sake of brevity but i could elaborate in another post. i actually have a draft (edit: posted) with a shit ton of more analysis stuff in it on why he acts differently with her than other characters):

the next day (chronologically) when jade messages him:

hussie commentary: “Dave's one-pixel-smile there means that there are literally more than ten thousand drawings on the internet of Dave and Jade kissing. That pixel literally made that happen.”

i mean … it sure is easy to assume how he feels about jade based on the way he talks to her and when his sprite only ever smiles one other time in the entire fucking comic and the reality of that other one was arguable since it was during [S] Karkat: Mental breakdown and its likely karkat was hallucinating it based on the content and context of the flash

nah this one was real. and it was from the first conversation we saw between dave and jade in the comic and thus set the standard for their dynamic. and remember old school 2009 dave was kind of a menace so it says a lot

this girl was special enough to him to warrant that pixel

jade calling dave a “huge baby” for him getting nervous about a piss while she’s his server player. he makes such a big deal about it while shes like oh my god just go:

and the absurdity of the situation being one of his favorite memories

i know pesterquest isn’t “canon” canon but it passes my character essence check and still contributes something of substance to my argument. like i can say this is not at all out of place if these characters were plopped into these scenarios. remember this takes place on the same day as the above, 4/13/2009. theyre the same age as above and have the same relationship as they did above, just in a different scenario that wasn’t possible in canon wherein they didn’t play sburb

Jade wanders away from that window and toward another one, whose view is exclusively centered on the rolling blue. She presses a hand against the misty pane and sighs. JADE: you know, dave talks a lot about coming to visit me here. i mean, all of my friends do but dave especially JADE: in his usual davey way of course, which means making lots of jokes and not sounding very serious about it JADE: "yeah im itching to put on my safari hat and come traipsing down to doomdeath archipelago to get my ass murdered by infinidog the eldritch retriever," stuff like that JADE: i know he really means it though! he wants to see me, just like i want to see him JADE: but its just wishful thinking

anyway daves reaction to seeing his isolated online friend for the first time irl cry because she has guests. its even better with the character sprites

JADE: we can play with all my toys and jam out to some music and stay up all night chatting with each other and oh my god oh my god youre here youre all here this is really happening!!!!! Jade's next laugh verges on hysterical and she's got tears streaked down her cheeks. Dave looks a little perturbed. DAVE: wow holy shit uh DAVE: its cool jade no need to get so DAVE: like this DAVE: kind of fucks me up seeing you cry DAVE: not that im trying to make this all about me DAVE: i mean uh

and so after mspa reader’s intervention, who do we see with jade the next time we see her?

dave. and hes goofing with her squiddles while grinning

DAVE: okay so lets see what we got here Jade's room is bright and cheery, fresh flowers in the hanging pots, curtains pulled open wide to let in the afternoon sunlight. Jade sits on her bed while Dave paces in front of a line of squiddle toys, carefully assembled in neat ranks. DAVE: this blue one is clearly in charge look at his dominant posture DAVE: also hes the only motherfucker not tentacle deep in his homie DAVE: hes an untangled buddy that is some shit really cuts to the core of like DAVE: DAVE: emotions JADE: its actually because the magnets in him are messed up, and always have been!! DAVE: harley you are ruining the magic come on

basically what im putting together is that dave was REALLY fixin to spend some time with jade. extending into her sphere of interests that he doesnt express much with anyone else; you can tell he really wanted to engage with her in a less irony poisoned way. he’s softer with her than his other friends and god forbid the trolls, he is much less skeptical about things when talking to her (he even questions why he just seems to go along with her eccentric precognitive statements but he doesnt change his attitude about it), he showers her with his music and raps to the point where jade is expectant of getting poetry from him. rap IS poetry. please realize that dave is sending her his poetry, regardless of how goofy it may be. this is the level on which im viewing this at and once you realize this theres no going back. there comes a time in every homestuck’s life where they have to see how dave interacted jade and conclude that he had a cute little puppy crush on her unbeknownst to either of them. and it was adorable. and now, in the year 2023, it’s your time to realize this too. no going back.

and btw it all came back around…………………nimblest son of a bitch who had the gumption to glue a nasty pair of latex cat lips to his face

for a reason that wasnt a joke anymore

don’t think ive seen anyone talk about this parallel at the end to one of their first conversations in the comic. maybe somebody did back in the day but i never saw it

#davejade #homestuck #dave strider #jade harley #hs

[dramaspecial1004]

After finishing Bed Friend I scrolled through the reviews on MDL and while I can of course agree that the editing was terrible and some scenes jumped so much it was confusing to no end. I also have to say that I started this series with zero expectations and had a blast in the first couple of episodes because of cringe acting, weird dialogues, more or less consensual sex (Uea was completely drunk) and no logical connection between the scenes.

Then things started to get serious real quick. I was not ready for the childhood sexual abuse. Actually I wouldn’t have started the series if I knew about that. But suddenly Ueas actions and how he behaved made completely sense. And yes, it is not uncommon as a victim to find the same type of people again in their life.

And here comes King the saviour of the day and probably best written character in a long time. He accepts Ueas rules, when he makes a mistake that triggers Uea he actually apologizes and makes sure it never happens again. This boy is ready to jump in front of a truck for Uea as he is very soon only having eyes for him. A small slip in jealousy happens but again he apologizes. And then he becomes nothing but supportive. He gives Uea all the time he needs, accepts all of his demands, agrees to everything Uea wants and just stays by his side whenever Uea needs him to.

So before I am getting dragged away even more from my original point: This drama deserves a better rating and much better reviews! Heck dramas with really toxic relationships have better reviews and ratings… and this was just beautifully handled despite obviously a very tight budget. I can wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone.

And btw Net and James have an amazing chemistry! Net did an amazing job in my opinion, I liked his acting very much!

#bed friend #bed friend the series #netjames #ueaking

[persephinae]

.

I think it would be funny if someone made a parody video game about the things Todd takes so seriously in Fallout, because Todd cares about the wrong fucking things in his stories

"My dad is actually the main character, I'm just along for the ride."

"The plot is this water purifier, something that everyone with a working brain and a desire to live wants, but uh... we're going to sabotage and oppose it for reasons. Then as a grand finale we're going to have this giant fuckin robot come in and do the actual work of saving the day, because the main character (who is not your dad btw) is such a fuckin loser lol"

"I think you should die for plot reasons"

"I can't stay and help you people! Listen! The story plot is someone kidnapped my baby! I literally don't have time for this if I'm going to be able to save my kid, who takes precedence over helping some schlub putting a fence up around his farm. Like sorry, but I have more important priorities than exploring this vast and sometimes beautiful wasteland because, again, in the real world, my kidnapped kid would be more important than dillydallying."

"I'm dying and I finally have a chance to connect with my parent whom I was forcibly taken from. This is what anyone would give their right arm to do in my situation btw. I'm going to watch them die trying to find me and send my elite assassin after them. Then I'm going to set them up as leader of this evil hidden scientific colony, even though they have no background in science or even share the same values. lol"

"Hey listen, the point of this entire game is a morality choice between The Good Alien (smile emoji) and The Bad Alien (frowny emoji) who are using YOU as a stand in for humanity to test them for their morals. They're asking YOU if it was worth blowing up and ruining the Earth, killing millions upon millions of people and animals, like really shitting the bed galactic style, in order to achieve space flight and the ability to travel between the stars. This is a valid question and not even remotely a waste of anyone's time because it's a serious philosophical question that Todd was super proud of as he chortled to himself when he thought this up."

i'm not even going to add F76 because that would be another 5 paragraphs lol

#wank /// #sorry i'm just full of piss and vinegar this morning

[yumedoca]

About UY fanfiction: I might have asked you about that partially because I don't think I have had the best experience with it so far and I wanted to know if you maybe had a different experience from me and I was just unlucky with what I found. Of course, I'm glad there is fanfiction for UY and I'm thankful for all the writers for all of their work (I have even read a bunch of works from the 90s!). But some of the works I've read so far tend to bash or, at the very least, "severely criticize" the characters, especially Lum (and almost never Ataru). I've started to think that maybe the comedy just doesn't translate well? These works look into Lum's shocks very seriously, and the way most of the characters are looked at is really like Ataru is being abused by everyone around him: by his parents who say they regret having him, by his friends and colleagues who physically assault him (like Mendou and the Stormstroopers but also characters like Shinobu) and, of course, by Lum with her shocks and controlling behavior. To me, it was like Ataru's own flaws and bad behavior were glossed over too much. But maybe if we were to take all that happens in the UY universe seriously, it really is that bad for Ataru and he's being surrounded only by people who severely mistreat him. And there are a couple of good works too, of course! There are some promising stories on archiveofourown but they are currently incomplete. And the best complete story I've read so far has to be "Lum Gets Grounded". The romance and the characters are handled well, with the characters still being themselves, both flawed and lovely.

Hai again, hope you're doing great!!

You know what? After reading this, I somewhat see the connection between the fic ask and the slapstick ask..

Honestly, one of the smaller reasons I haven't checked out fanfiction yet is because there's a part of me which worries about how true the characters feel to the original. For someone who's quite nitpicky as me, I feel like that wouldn't work out for me.. But then again, I can't expect everyone to instantly understand how the characters really are including all their flaws, strengths and depths since not everyone may be able to get it.

About the characters being severely criticized' bit, all I have to say is that how they treat Ataru is not all that serious, it wasn't supposed to be and it never will be. To me it seems like the writers just didn't fully get that aspect despite it being the bread and butter of the series.

To me, loving and enjoying a character entirely means to accept both their positives and negatives. And yeah, Ataru would be a poor soul if he truly was innocent, but he isn't. He's a pervert, he's selfish, he's a jerk and most of the trouble he winds up in usually is because he's somehow the original cause for it. It's not fair at all to act like these flaws don't exist.

The UY world shouldn't be taken realistically at all. It is fiction and should be seen as such. I mean, realistically, Ataru's sexual harassment would be a serious case, wouldn't it? So you can't just talk about how he is mistreated when seen through a realistic perspective without considering the other side of the coin.

'Lum Gets Grounded' sounds nice and I'll make sure to check it out! And actually, sometime after you send this ask @sarinatendouji reblogged the fic ask with two fic reccs (thanks again, btw :D), even if those were for me, I'll still share them in case you haven't read it.

And lastly, I'm doing fine and your welcome, it was a pleasure to answer your questions and you don't need to worry about that since many people send asks in that same manner, it's pretty common, really.

#thanks for the ask! #urusei yatsura #うる星やつら #lum #ataru moroboshi #not tagging the others #god i love them sm #fic reccs #for later

[docholligay]

Record of a Spaceborn Few

 The “why I want you to read this”: Look, you'll read it in an afternoon and then I will move on to constantly telling you to read some other sci-fi book, because it's an incredibly varied genre just like any other and I promise you you do not hate all of it. This is a book about what happens to a community formed by adversity when the adversity goes away. It's about identity, diaspora and growing up in a shitty town in the middle of nowhere. Also it takes place on a spaceship.

(This made me laugh very hard btw, and applause)

This book I think was largely not for me. It DID suffer for coming between The Iron Tracks: A novel about revenge and what it means to carry it around, and what you do when it is done, written by a Holocaust Survivor, and, The Power of the Dog: A Western novel about work and discipline and judgment as forms of self-hatred, and what it all comes to.

Record is about, like, baking nice bread in space and teenagers looking for jobs. Feeling lonely. Finding purpose. It’s very much a slice of life novel. Which I CAN like, but the characters have to be very compelling for me to get into that, and this didn’t get there. I was bored much of the time, because the prose never elevated the story above, “wow we really should have a cultural class for immigrants! I’ll volunteer!”

Thing I liked the best: In SOME moments, this is a book about living in highly rural areas, and what it means to have that as a part of you, and how to save it. these are the moments I connected it with it! In moments there is an intense connection with the DIFFICULTY of the choice, and the hardship of the land, that I found truly incredible. A few lines about it I marked out about being specifically beautiful. I think I actually would have liked the book more if if engaged more with “The Fleet I live in now is not the Fleet i fucking grew up with, and I am MAD about that, and I am struggling with that!” because in the brief moments it engaged with that I was screaming “Yes! This also has happened to me and I’M MAD AS HELL!” and then it was like, “Everyone moving there wants to engage culturally with the established culture, just love them uwu” I was shaking her by though shoulders going “ I am BEGGING you to go talk to people from rural cultures in a meaningful way” because it’s ALMOST THERE!!

Thing I liked the least: BOY, Chambers sure wants to make xe/xyr happen instead of they/them. This is essentially settled law in modern English. It’s done. They/them has existed for MANY MANY YEARS and is a natural and normal way for English speakers to reflect the sentiment. It had the same effect on me as a modern author saying “his or her,” which for many years was the correct way but now, is not. Because, the law has been settled.

But yeah, mostly it was a slice of life novel with a bent toward a nigh-naive way of looking at humanity in this near perfect space kibbutz that I agree with on paper but I also know that “sometimes adults chose NOT to take jobs, and there was SHAME :’((, so people discovered their passion for sorting cargo” isn’t quite realistic enough for me to engage with the world.  To touch on the above, with the Fleet changing, and dying, and the upset behind that, I would have loved more engagement with that, but it would have required Chambers to LET THE FUCK GO of her quasi-Startrekkian brightsidedness. 

I am being very serious when I say a major plot line is a teenager figuring out the job he wants and also not to do drugs.

#doc reads

[morievna]

Mix 18 – Ugetsu’s grand return 🥳

Ohh sorry so much I was meaning to write about this chapter since awhile, but my job was demanding lately and I also got new obsession to over-think *cough* BSD Stormbringer *cough* But here I am finally getting time to gush about Ugetsu and Mafuyu xD

(btw i had fun with creating new pfp with this picrew)

This post will be more Ugetsu-centric – I will focus on Mafuyu later on together with covering mix 19 – though maybe after full scans will be available since judging from spoilers it relies a lot on visuals. But in short, it is so beautiful chapter with Mafuyu’s arc blooming 💖

As for now - what can i say -  mix 18 is simply perfection. Feel prepared to me simply counting up things I loved xD

Honestly I love everything about it  – finally getting Ugetsu’s return in such amazing way, the way Mafuyu was portrayed in such human and vulnerable way and character development of them both. Besides, interaction between them were pure gold xD I liked how funny was clash between their personalities, which balanced more serious and angsty side of this chapter.

I really like how Given is consistent with themes and parallels between all characters, especially Akigetsu and Mafuyama in this one. It feels very thoughtful how Natsuki-sensei planned all of it.

Okay, so let’s start digging~~

If you read my analysis of Ugetsu’s booklet from movie  - you know that I was concerned with how he was shown so alone and isolated from outside world; with no human interaction except that text from Akihiko.

Honestly I literally gasped when he admitted that by himself in this chapter xD

Really wow – such development considering that he started as character ‘i-have-no-friends’ and neglecting himself in lot of ways. He went long way T_T

I really liked his vibe in this chapter – it really feels that he thought over his life and changed. Even without clear destination – it feels symbolic that he no longer wants to live in temporary hotels and wants to sell his old house ( which was symbol of his cocoon) – like butterfly he is now free to live fully and make connection with outside world.

So proud of Ugetsu~~

I am really curious if we will got more spinoff or something about Ugetsu – it really feels like some part of his life ended, but new possibilities are ahead – I really love how carefree he ponders on his future. Also since Natsuki-sensei mentioned on her twt that she made changes to booklet story to include improved version to Given vol.8 – I still think she likes Ugetsu quite a lot xD

Okay, let’s move on Mafuyu-Ugetsu bond ~~

I love their dynamics so much – in this chapter it was really perfect way how to show kinda mentor-student relationship should work (and without mentor dying per trope *sighs in bsd*).

I loved how Mafuyu opened to Ugetsu about he is going through – because of he knew what’s Ugetsu been through and how they are alike, these factors helped him to admit his deepest worries and insecurities. Though this arc Mafuyu talked to others, but it was the heartfelt connection between MafuUge that let him to be more at ease speaking himself. Like Ugetsu being comfort friend for him like no other.

I love Mafuyu reaction to Ugetsu’s spontaneous decision to go together to SYH live :D

They are just perfect xDD

On more serious side, I really liked hands symbolism in this – at first Mafuyu is uncomfortable with this decision like feeling desperate that Ugetsu didn’t understand him and grasping him to wait, not wanting to go and confront Uenoyama.

But then after they talk more – Ugetsu’s points get through to Mafuyu. I also loved how Ugetsu knew what to say and  how help Mafuyu. Like literally he said what Mafuyu needed to hear – both calling out on lack of communication with Uenoyama, making good points on indecisiveness having painful consequences, and praising him for trying his best.

It is great too that Ugetsu didn’t handed full solution for Mafuyu – ‘only’ provided support and good insights and ultimately gave Mafuyu push in right direction, which is taking him by hand to SYH debut (meanwhile Mafuyu ceasing to resist).

What’s more, it is really good that they got separated in the crowd – Mafuyu has to alone make decision for his own future and this is giving him that free space. After all, from story perspective mentor is supposed only to show protagonist way of living and giving advice like fundament -  and protag must have built on that by himself and go beyond.

Besides, I really love that callback to chapter 27 – on one side we have that emotional scene with Ugetsu/Mafuyu crying due to being terrified of what comes with future, and to balance that we have frame with comforting ‘all will be okay’ providing support to one another.

Excuse me now to cry in the corner a bit T_T

Ngl Ugetsu looking melancholic when Mafuyu brought up his story with Akihiko also made my Akigetsu heart weep a bit too T_T

Finally - to end on positive note,

mentor-student dynamics is often show that student could achieve at what mentor didn’t succeed -  that’s why imo (contrary to Akigetsu as these ships were paralleled in this chapter) Mafuyama will get their happy ending with most likely pursuing music as career. And since story established that Mafuyu and Ugetsu and inspiring and helping each other -  I hope one day we will get Ugetsu happy ending as well – by that I mean him being renowned violinist while having friends and/or loving husbando xD

That’s all for now – thanks for reading and have great day <3

#given #given manga #mix_18 #kizu natsuki #ugetsu murata #mafuyu satou #ugemafu #murata ugetsu #happy noises #that chapter was so good on so many levels #given meta

[enhaheeseung]

HI! i still need to read your most recent fic, ill do that after i send this and give my feedback through my reblog <3. but you asked why we like those works so much so.. (im not sure if you really wanted a response but im here to give you one anyway!!!)

for train ride home, the way it was literally so corrupt but also so gentle really like 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️ made me speechless tbh. just the way you wrote him as a character. ive never read anything with that particular theme but its honestly one of my favorite things and maybe a small fantasy of mine... so to see it written about someone i think about quite often was really great. it also made me feel a little less weird about enjoying something like that.

for best friends, i really enjoy just the over all theme. its very much something i would do. the whole making a "mistake" and then pulling back. i think it was really relatable but also just the way you captured the jealousy of heeseung. the way that he got mad when the reader tried to do the same things he does. i genuinely wanted to smack him when he got all pissy over her wanting to go talk to the dude, but im glad he didnt let her.

for darling, i think i said this in my reblog but the end made my oral fixation go crazy. i write a little bit but theres a few things that im a bit nervous to write about, that being one of them. im not sure why, but like the whole falling asleep with it in your mouth thing makes me weak in the knees lmao

but overall i just really enjoy your work. while we obviously dont know heeseung in that particular light, i think that you write him in way that makes me think "oh yeah this makes sense" or "i could see him doing something like that". this makes reading so much more enjoyable cuz i feel like some people write without really connecting the theme/content with the person theyre writing for.

Thank you for the response cause I was dead serious😳

So first off

Ngl with train ride home I literally thought about what other girls fantasize about if that makes sense I did absolutely no research btw lol it’s just kinda a pattern that I see from other stories and themes geared towards the female audience so I kinda went off of that bad guy good girl vibe like obviously I didn’t use that theme but I’m using that as an example so for instance it’s kinda like you want a bad but good boy, so like a perv and a gentleman if anyone even understands what I’m trying to say you’d think I’d be good with words but here we are 🤡

Moving on

Best friends was just something I made on the spot with a ton of editing in between when I wrote his character for that I wanted to capture that uncertainty that so many men have when it comes to relationships as well as the female character being so in love with him that she kinda just takes what she can get and ends up making mistakes and hurting herself even more than he has I’ve seen this happen so many times before just without the happy ending and I also made his character with traits like a lot of guys In friendships where he kinda got the best of both worlds having a female best friend and girls on the side but he never really felt complete without the female lead

And last but not least

Darling there’s not much to say not gonna lie to you I was just in a moody mood when I wrote that it’s pretty short but definitely gets the point across if you’re into that kind of thing I’m glad you feel less weird about liking those things cause to me it’s not weird at all and just so you know I know more people that are into that than I can count on fingers with both hands

love that you mentioned being nervous to post some things cause so am I like there are themes I made but they will never see the light of day just cause they are a bit out there and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable plus y’all don’t need to know everything that goes on in this brain of mine

I do try to go outside the box with my writing I don’t read a lot of fanfics but I think a lot of my concepts and writing style has not been done before so I try to spice things up and keep it interesting I incorporate a lot of smut but I feel like In some of my stories I built a foundation that will make readers comeback or ask for a part 2 cause even though there’s smut in it I developed the characters well enough to where you want to see more little off topic but stories like “angel” or “train ride home” are themes I’ve never seen done before that and everyone seemed to really enjoy those so my mind runs miles trying to come up with new ideas

As for the way I write heeseung it’s just literally all the fantasies I have about him tbh I write him exactly how I think about him😌

Also this was really fun responding to actually like I wouldn’t mind going into more detail about my plots if anyone is interested kinda felt like a mini interview and I just love answering questions

Sorry this is so long without any punctuation forgive me😞

#enhypen heeseung #enhypen #lee heeseung #heeseung #engene #enha heeseung #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #asks #inbox

[yesimwriting]

Hello! Your Nikolai fic tranquility is so beautiful! Can you write more for Nikolai? Maybe the opposite with reader having a nightmare? Or whatever you want just please give me more! If you have a tagging list I'd love to be included btw :)

A/n hii!! first off,, thank you! i was a little nervous about writing him for the first time,, but i love him so much (even though i love a good villain/morally grey character in love i think nikolai would probably make the least toxic bf in the grishaverse lol)

you gave me a little too much freedom here lol bc i have so many ideas for him!! lowkey might need to give him a longer fic/series soon when i catch up with requests!! WOW THIS FIC IS SO LONG AND FOR WHAT

Summary: Reader is a handmaid who has grown up assisting Nikolai. Through the years, the two have developed a special relationship that most definitely breaks royal protocol--they’re best friends and rivals on a good day, and dangerously close to being something more the second either of them is remotely upset or extremely happy. Learning about the fact that Nikolai was almost engaged to Alina (a good friend of yours) and being reminded of the fact that as royalty Nikolai has many prospects (both serious women worthy of his title and women only suitable for trysts meant to relieve tension) has you both realizing something you should have years ago.

Word count: 31210

Warnings: disclaimer--may not be the most cannon thing ever,, but i wanted the ‘child of the help competes and falls in love with the child of royalty’ energy okay?? Lol

I could do a whole blurb series with this dynamic nikolai x reader,, like just stories of them growing up together and randomly realizing they might like each other romantically?? I probably shouldn’t rn but i ADORE this trope.

--

The perfection of the room is disappointing. Idle hands, idle thoughts--so I work to smooth out a perfect duvet. Still, the thoughts come--aggressive and unavoidable. It’s silly, maybe even sad, to feel possessive over something that’s never been yours, something that could never be yours, but the harder I fight off the feeling the stronger it grows. Jealousy is a weed growing quickly in my chest, vile roots planted firmly in my heart.

Normally my favorite part of the day would be waiting for Nikolai to return to his room in the palace after dinner and his evening duties. He’s always a bit softer in the evenings, during my last check-in of the day. I’m normally thrilled to be done organizing his room early because that means the second he arrives there will be no distraction. Most evenings, he’ll find me perched in the seat by his bed, reading. He’ll mock-scold me for daring to defy his orders and reading ahead from the book we both take turns reading aloud from each night. He then warns me that I better react exactly the way I did when I first read it or else. That threat is always followed by a gentle laugh.

Tonight I’m in no mood for our nightly banter or even our nightly reading. My mother had warned me of the dangers of getting too comfortable with the royal family. I should have heeded that warning when she first gave it to me, the morning she found Nikolai and I fast asleep on a couch in the library as children. The palace likes to bring up the children of the staff by training them to attend to the next generation of royals. It makes the staff more efficient, a lifetime of knowing what someone wants makes you better for them. It also creates some level of connection, making betrayal a little less likely. Nikolai and I might have taken it farther than most. But now I want a reminder of the way we’re supposed to be--maybe if I detach now the bleeding of my heart won’t kill me. That has to remain secret, because if I explain it to Nikolai something in me will break. The one line between us will be crossed.

This will be the sixth secret I’ve kept from Nikolai in my entire life.

--

The secrets:

I don’t know why I was picked for Nikolai. I wasn’t particularly skilled, but still, the day came when my mother was told that I now worked directly for the Lantsov boy. It’s an honor, a true one, but my mother had been a little nervous. To whom much is given, much is expected--and I detested Nikolai. Not for being a prince, but for being a prince who thought girls couldn’t race or fight.

The day my mother came looking for me because I never showed up for dinner and she found Nikolai and I attempting to fight in the way only a ten-year-old girl and eleven-year-old boy would, she had looked truly mortified. Nikolai had only laughed, either oblivious to my mother’s embarrassment or uncaring about it. He had then hugged me--an expression of care that had left me reeling. I saw him more as a rival than someone to tend to, but in that moment I saw him as a friend. Even more so when he told me he didn’t want me to go yet and that he was upset that so much of the day had been wasted by studies that kept him with boring people and away from me. And then he invited me to his lessons--my mother was quick to attempt to decline politely, but the desires of a prince at any age outweigh that of a mother.

After that, everyone kind of just stopped trying to remind us of our propriety. The tutor at first was concerned about my presence, but Nikolai remained stubborn. I wasn’t a big enough deal to cause an argument, so I began to attend lessons with him almost every day, only staying away when my mother needed aid with laundry or cleaning. His parents must have been somewhat aware of our friendship, but they must have been oblivious to our closeness because it was never mentioned.

My mother’s worry began to ease, she’d even started to take some pride when I’d come to our room proudly proclaiming that I scored two marks higher than Nikolai. She did, however, warn that it might be more tactful to let him score higher.

The comment was casual, just a suggestion, but it left me feeling wrong. It was the first time since we met that I had thought about our different statuses. I didn’t tell him--and that was the first secret I ever kept from him.

As we grew, we traded physical competition for academic rivalry, trying to best each other in both lessons and games of strategy like chess and cards. But with growing comes responsibility. Nikolai started to have obligations that were meant to be private. I couldn’t follow him at all times. But he’d always come back from locked door meetings grinning like he carried schoolyard gossip instead of government secrets. He shared everything with me, even when I playfully warned against it.

He’d always step closer when I teased that perhaps he shouldn’t tell me everything. And then he’d say, “If I can’t trust you, then I can’t trust anyone--and I don’t want to live in a world like that.” Often, he’d give my hand a light squeeze before moving on like he had not said anything intimate.

On a day in which Nikolai was in one of those meetings, I became a woman. When I first saw the blood, I had been horrified--but my mother was quick to explain that it was natural. She said that I was now a woman, a wonderful thing, really--but a thing that came with obligations. She told me that I could no longer have the impromptu ‘sleepovers’ with Nikolai unless he ordered it. I told her he’s never ordered me to do anything for him.

She didn’t ease, something in her had started to become nervous again. My mother had recently started to act the way she did when Nikolai and I first became friends. I didn’t want to fall asleep in Nikolai’s bed while I was bleeding, but I didn’t want to never have another sleepover with him again. Especially not when she refused to explain why being a woman changed so much.

I had decided to avoid Nikolai as much as possible until the sting of my mother’s new rule faded. Unfortunately, that night Nikolai was extra talkative--excited as he insisted I stay for a little longer. Soon, I found his familiar good naturedness melting away my nerves and before I knew it I was laughing in the middle of the night. When my eyelids started to feel heavy, I had moved from the chair, ready to head back to my room.

Nikolai had looked at me oddly before he asked why would I leave so late when it would be easier for me to just sleepover? It was an innocent question, he did not know about my change and I had wanted to keep it that way.

I tried playing coy, but Nikolai has always had a talent for getting around my better judgement. I don’t recall exactly how it happened, but I remember him standing in front of me. It was the first time I noticed how much had actually changed over the years--he was now taller than me for the first time in his life. His hair had started to grow a little longer, golden and soft-looking--and his face seemed much more angular. But he had not lost his boyish charm.

“Y/n?” My name fell softly from his lips, and that was the first time I had ever noted the fullness of them. I didn’t understand why I considered that something worth noting. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

Perhaps I had been a little curt--nerves and hormones had left me not feeling like myself. I didn’t tell him about the bleeding, I couldn’t. That became the second secret I kept from him--but I did tell him that my mother had told me I was a woman now, and that women can’t have sleepovers. Not with those of the opposite gender. I made no effort to hide my confusion because I expected him to be as perplexed as I was. But he was not confused--in fact, he had the audacity to laugh. My face flushed, but I did not know why.

“Why is that funny?” Maybe he thought I was still too much of a child to be considered a woman. I assumed it a fair assumption, I had not grown the way he had--my shoulders had not become sturdier and I had not become particularly broader. Still, I would rather melt into the floor than tell him about the reason my mother now considered me a woman. “My mother did say that, and I don’t know what being a ‘woman’ has to do with staying in your room at night.” Something strange had crossed over his features then, something much more brooding than I was used to.

I had blinked at him as unexplained nerves pooled in my stomach. Perhaps that look would have been enough to keep me silent if he had managed to not grin. That self-assured grin that had always challenged me. “Well since you know everything about my mother now, maybe you can tell me why she’s been acting strange. She’s starting to act the way she did when we first became friends.” I expected him to at least pretend to be worried. Perhaps his parents had spoken to her and had mentioned wanting our friendship to end. But his grin had only grown. Pride left me angry. “She did say that I could stay if you ordered it--but I’m glad you’ve never ordered me to do anything, so I can leave right now because you’re acting as odd as her. I don’t understand what you could find funny about our friendship ending.”

He had stopped me from storming out of his room by placing one hand on the wall between me and the door. “Y/n, don’t be cross--I’ll explain it all, I promise.” Angry pride made me want to storm away from him, but curiosity and something unknown and warm kept me in place. “Do you remember when we read the play about the rival families, how the two main characters had kissed?”

I remembered that part of the play especially well. The concept of kissing so casually, outside of marriage, had been jarring to me. “Yes.”

“Now that we’re older, your mother must be worried that we might do that.” He paused before leaning against the arm he placed on the wall to keep me from leaving a little more. “Kiss.”

The clarification was not needed--in that brief pause, I had allowed myself to imagine no distance between our lips. Something in me burned with embarrassment when I realized that some part of me found the thought appealing. The only thing I wanted in that moment was assurance that Nikolai would never know I felt that. That was my third secret, and the weight of it was heavy against my chest.

Still, though, all of my confusion had not yet left. “Is there much harm in a kiss?”

The question had left an odd smile on his lips. “There’s potential harm in what it could lead to for the woman, but not so much for the man.” He exhaled slowly as my face tensed. He could always read me too well because he was quick to add, “What it could lead to isn’t a bad thing, it’s meant to be pleasurable, but it’s serious.” I did not understand, but a part of me was starting to grow okay with that. Nikolai’s voice had started to become lower than ever, and his gaze remained tense. Perhaps if I accepted the confusion for now, things could go back to normal. If the conversation ended, I could stop thinking of his lips and his hands and what it would mean for them to touch me. “It’s considered a vice, like drinking or gambling.” The additional comment helped more than it should have. A vice--not scary and not painful, but not something to indulge in. That’s enough explanation for now. “If you want to know, I won’t deny you.”

I appreciated the offer tremendously. The vice that comes after kissing is clearly something that’s been intentionally kept from me. It’s something he was privy to that I was not, and he offered it to me like so much else. But if knowledge that my mother feared us kissing made me think of his lips, then I doubted I could handle knowing what comes after kissing.

“I’ll let you know when I want to know, but I appreciate the offer.” It felt like a fair response. His snarky grin came back immediately. Irritation rooted itself in my stomach. I hated not knowing more than him for once, but I still had one question I could not relinquish. “But what does that vice have to do with orders?”

At that, his smugness faltered. “It’s not unheard of, for princes and handmaids--for a prince to obligate a handmaid in order to fulfill his vice. Though many handmaids fill the vice of their own will for benefits.

The explanation left him like a confession. I didn’t understand his hesitance--it’s not like he’d ever make me do anything I didn’t want to do. Even when I worked, he was hesitant to ask me to go out of my way to bring him a glass of water. And I couldn’t imagine gaining anything from offering Nikolai something I didn’t really understand. I wasn’t naive to the fact that my life had more privileges than many palace servants. “Oh.”

His eyes hardened. “You know I’d never--”

“I know.” It was finally easy to smile again. “I never thought otherwise.” Something in him seemed to ease at that, his eyes went from hard to warm in less than a second.

I had no more questions for him and I was also no longer a flight risk, but Nikolai did not move. He did not step back to create a more appropriate distance and he did not drop his arm. His gaze, however, did move--dropping downwards, and slightly away from my eyes. I did the same, my eyes falling to his lips.

The silence between us began to make me feel like something in me was in danger of overflowing. “Then I guess my mother is once again worrying for no reason.” Strangely, I did not feel the need to feel embarrassed about staring at his lips. “Because I would never particularly want to kiss you, Nikolai Lantsov.”

The comment was meant to be teasing, a joke to clear away unknown tension. I should have known better than to challenge his pride because he instinctually moved his hand off the wall and beneath my chin. I did not flinch when he tilted my head upwards slightly with his fingers. “I could get you to want to kiss me if I wanted to.”

Three secrets in one night. I did not think I could bear a fourth one. “Hm…” The ground we treaded on felt unstable, but something in me trusted Nikolai to not let me falter. “I should--I should go before I give my mother anymore cause to worry.”

His fingers had brushed down my chin easily as he dropped his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

And that he did. The days passed without mention of the last time he asked me to sleepover. It was as if nothing had changed except now I found myself noting things I most definitely did not want to note. These didn’t feel like individual secrets because it felt easy to group each admirational thought into one secret. Soon, that became my new normal--easy banter, easy touches of hands, and easy yet silent admirations of his beauty.

I never wandered too hard about what the vice that kissing can lead to entailed. I didn't particularly want to know, but knowing that I could ask Nikolai at any time brought a sense of security to me. But besides that, I never thought of that conversation until the day I was asked to look for Nikolai because he was late for dinner.

That in itself was odd, most of the time when Nikolai was late it was because he was with you. I checked his room, two other rooms he was known to frequent, and then finally the library. First, I noticed a handmaid two years older than me. I was finally at an age when one begins to compare their beauty to those around them, and I recognized the girl as gorgeous. She was better endowed than me, physically, and she always seemed fun. And then I noticed Nikolai, standing closer to her than I’ve ever seen him stand to anyone. His expression was serious as the girl giggled.

Nikolai’s expression shifted from tense to shocked when he saw me. “Y/n.”

It took me a moment longer than it should have to realize what I had interrupted. Guilt and jealousy were quick to twist in my stomach. “Dinner--your parents sent me to look for you.”

He was quick to walk around the girl, who was quick to glare at me. I attempted to disappear down the hall after mumbling a quick apology, but Nikolai was faster than me.

“Y/n,” he did not hesitate to grab my wrist.

It shouldn’t have irked me the way it did, after all, neither of us had ever really hesitated to touch each other. I had always reached for him when I wanted him, and he had done the same. But the thought of the same hands that touched the most beautiful girl I had ever seen on me left me bitter in a way I didn’t understand.

Still, I pushed through all of that. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, your mother asked me to look for you because she assumed you’d be with me when you were late to dinner. I didn’t think that there’d be--”

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” The words came out flat as his eyes took on the same quality they did the night he explained my mother’s concern to me. “Valaria wishes there was something to interrupt, but there wasn’t.”

Oh. I refused to let the correction inflate me. “Would you like me to not come to your room tonight?”

The offer felt awkward to make. “No,” the answer came quickly, “In fact, go there now--I want to see you right after dinner. I’ve missed you today.” The instruction left my face feeling warm. “We could read an extra chapter of our book if you’d like.”

Despite myself, I grinned. “Yes.”

“Looking forward to it.”

True to his word, Nikolai was quick to return to his room. He had come back to me eagerly, going out of his way to squeeze my shoulder as he entered the room.

I opened the book to the chapter we had left off on, but before I could start reading, Nikolai stopped me. “Sit next to me?”

The question came softly. It had been some time since we sat next to each other on his bed. Still, I moved off of the chair and to his bed. Something in me longed for the familiar closeness of childhood. I allowed him to play with my fingers as I read.

“You know you could take one night off from me if you wanted to.” The admission left me softly, part of unsure if he was still paying attention to my words. “She was pretty, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings if you told me you wanted me to not come tonight.”

Nikolai exhaled easily, squeezing my fingers once. “I said I wanted to see you and I meant it.”

It took all of my energy to push past the way his words made my stomach leap. “In general, if you ever--”

Nikolai cut me off by laying his head on my lap the way he used to. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” It was the first time in years that he spoke to me in a way that acknowledged his authority. “Keep reading please.”

And that was the last time we had ever mentioned other handmaids in that context. The fifth secret I ever kept from him was the way I worried that one day that would change.

--

The door creaks open while I’m in the middle of fluffing an already pristine pillow. Nikolai steps into the room, but I continue to work.

“Darling,” he breathes too easily, “Today has been painful.” I straighten, looking at him as casually as I can manage. “And now I have to deal with you being mad at me.”

Damn him and his ability to read me with one look. “I’m not mad.”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” he sighs, stepping forward, “We’ve known each other too long for that.”

I press my lips together, irrational anger pushing itself into me at an odd angle. “We’ve also known each other too long to keep secrets.”

His eyebrows draw together, a look so quizzical I’m reminded of our schooling days. “What secrets have I kept from you?”

Mentioning that had been a mistake. I exhale as flatly as possible. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” My dismissal only has Nikolai’s expression hardening. I drop my gaze. “Unless you need something, I’m retiring my services for the evening.”

I take a reluctant step towards the door, eyes attached to the floor. “Y/n,” his voice is gentle. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” Please let that be at least somewhat believable. “I’m sure I’ll feel more like myself in the morning.” I take another step, a little more assured. Nikolai’s hand is on my shoulder before I can escape. “Nikolai--”

“Y/n,” his voice is that of velvet, “I can’t have you be mad at me. Not now.”

Sighing, I meet his gaze. The tiredness I see behind his eyes is almost enough to chase away my nerve. What I’d give to be able to melt into our familiar routine. “Then you should have told me you were almost engaged to a literal Saint--the same literal Saint who’s one of my closest friends.”

Nikolai’s expression shifts as his hand drops from my shoulder slowly, fingers brushing down my arm before he finally intertwines our fingers. I bite my tongue to avoid squeezing his hand, but I don’t move to separate us either. He studies me silently, eyebrows drawn together. The longer he stares, the more whatever turmoil he’s experiencing seems to dissipate. After a minute of silence, I can read his expression perfectly. His lips are pressed together in that coy way--the way he only looks when he’s suppressing a smile.

I loathe him for it. “Nikolai Lantsov, don’t you dare laugh--not after what you did. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have Alina casually mention the fact that you almost married her casually? Like that was common knowledge to everyone but me?”

My words break away the last of his self control. He grins, flashing his annoyingly perfect teeth. “Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to want nothing more than to see you and then you let me believe something may actually be wrong when the only issue is your jealousy?”

The amusement in his tone is like poison to me. I find the strength to jerk my hand away from him. “I am not jealous.” He laughs; I am further enraged. “I am not.” The genuineness of my anger must finally register on some level, because he tries to suppress his smile. “I have every right to be mad at my best friend for not telling me that he was almost married.”

“We didn’t exactly come close,” he manages, expression still much too light for my taste. “I’m glad for Alina’s sake, I’m not sure being a Saint would be enough to protect her.”

He is infuriating. “I’m not sure anything you have will be enough to protect you.”

Something in his gaze shifts, softening the tilt of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”

I don’t know what I expected from him--but not this. I thought he’d be at least somewhat apologetic. “You should have told me.”

“I would have if I felt it was significant.”

“I’m your best friend--your marriage is significant to me. And even though it’s not like you’re engaged to her right now, you should have told me. You know I talk to Alina all the time.”

He sighs once, a hint of apology threatening to ghost over his eyes. “If I knew not knowing would have upset you so much I would have told you. I was--I was just so excited to be around you again I didn’t see much relevance in anything that didn’t involve you.”

The intensity that Nikolai regards me with is enough to wither all of my fury. But without my anger, I am left spiraling in emotion that I’ve been pushing against for years. My mother’s warning about relationships with those above us rings in my ears--sharp and headache inducing. I am still when he reaches for my hand again, but I do no allow myself to return the gentle squeeze of his fingers.

“I’m not sure much outside of you has significance.” He’s giving me a look I am familiar with. A look he often uses to chase away my anger.

Without my anger, I have nothing to keep me from melting into him, indulging in his presence fully. It’s so easy with him and I blinded myself to the danger of that. He may not be marrying Alina, but one day he will marry someone. A person worthy of his status--and what would I be left doing? Washing their laundry? Tearing up when I dusted the library and came across a book we had read together? Enough damage has already been done--I need to cut myself with this blade now in hopes of making sure I can one day recover.

He will get married one day, and nothing will be the same. And that’s a good thing--he deserves the love of a princess or queen. I want his happiness, even if it’s not with me. But some vindictive part of me hopes that some part of him will miss me. That some part of him will be dulled without me.

I’m a fool--he will remember me as the handmaid from his youth. The girl who made him laugh once or twice before he grew up. I force my hand out of his grasp. “You can’t win me over with words every time.” I need to get out of here before he says something that makes me lose all resolve. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be here to prepare you for breakfast.”

“Y/n.”

I step forward, refusing to look at him. “Goodnight.”

He sighs, his hand quick to grab my arm. Before I can question him I feel myself pulled back. I expect him to pull me just close enough so that I have to meet his gaze. He continues, pulling me sharply before placing a quick hand on my shoulder, forcing me down. My back hits his bed.

I sit up as soon as the reality of what just happened seeps into my mind. “Nikolai, what in the Saints--”

“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one.”

I scoff, thoughts of escaping him put on hold by the principle of pride. Fine. I’ll beat him one last time, and then I’ll let us separate. I shove him. He laughs--of course this is funny to him. He got to keep fighting past the age of about eleven. His laughter adds to my anger, I move to shove him again, but he catches my wrist easily. I struggle against his hold, shoving him a third time with my still free hand. He pushes me slightly. That’s all it takes to unleash familiar habits.

Our small fight is hardly fair. He has all the advantage--more training, and he’s standing above me. When I finally make a move that might give me some success, Nikolai leans forward. He practically tackles me, his weight forcing me flat against the bed.

I move an arm, ready to push him off of me. Nikolai snags my wrists, holding them above my head. “This means I win.” I roll my eyes, anger returning.

“Let me go.”

He sighs tiredly, but the smugness radiating off of him is suffocating. “Admit that you were jealous.”

There are a lot of things I am willing to do for him--but never that. I cannot give him the one separation I still have. “I wasn’t.”

“Then why are you mad?”

I press my lips together. “I told you--”

“Do you really think you could lie to me?”

“You don’t know me that well.”

Nikolai moves his freehand, touching my chin as a way to ask me to look at him. I meet his gaze hesitantly. “Yes, I do, and that’s never bothered you before but it does now.”

Maybe this is a conversation better had bluntly. “It bothers me now because you’re too old to hold onto the daughter of a palace handmaid and I’m too old to pretend that our different statuses don’t matter.”

“Y/n,” he breathes, “Nothing’s changed. Status didn’t matter to me when we were children, and it doesn’t matter to me now.”

“You can afford to say things like that.”

“What good is my title if it means I can’t,” he pauses, eyes hesitant, “If I can’t keep things the same between us?”

I smile, the sadness of the look weighs on me and I can’t even see it. “Nikolai, you always knew things would change.”

“No, I--”

“You can’t tell me you think your future wife would like you having such a close relationship with a handmaid.” I press my lips together. “One day you’ll fall in love and get married and you’ll want me to leave your bedchamber as soon as dinner is over because you’ll be eager to spend time with your wife.” His gaze hardens. “And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good thi--”

The last syllable of my sentence dies in my throat. Nikolai, who must be possessed by something, leans down and presses his lips against mine. I beg myself to resist, but his gentleness is everything I’ve ever wanted. He releases my hands in favor of holding my face. That’s all it takes--my hands move without my permission, into his hair--pulling him closer to me. What am I doing? I’m insane. Placing my hands on his chest cautiously, I push just slightly. He’s quick to obey, pulling away while allowing his teeth to brush against my bottom lip.

I gape at him--taking in his now slightly swollen lips. “Nikolai.” He can’t do this to me. We’re friends. Despite the fact that I’ve loved him more than I should--we’re friends. “You’re being extremely unfair.”

He draws his eyebrows together, sitting up quickly and moving off of me. “I’m being unfair? I have spent my entire life loving y--”

I sit up, furious in a new way. “You have not!” This is the dumbest I have ever been. I move to stand, still feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

“Your tooth fell out.” The sharpness of his words forces me to still.

“What?”

I can’t bring myself to turn and look at him, but I’ve always been able to feel any heaviness he bears. The weight of it leaves little room for air in my lungs. “You were ten. I told you ‘girls couldn’t fight’ so you punched me in the face. That was the first time we ever fought--I didn’t mean to hit you in the face, but you moved. You moved and I hit you in the mouth and your last baby tooth fell out. I expected you to cry or get angry, but you just blinked at me and laughed. You were happy to lose your last baby tooth because it meant you were grown up. And then you smiled and asked me if you looked older. If anything, the gap in your smile made you look younger but I told you that you looked like a grown-up because I wanted you to keep smiling. Because your smile made me feel like I won something.” I turn on my heels, but I cannot meet his gaze. “That was the moment I fell in love with you--so don’t tell me I haven’t spent my entire life loving you.”

The weight of his words is harder to survive against than the heaviness of his feelings. “Nikolai, you know we can’t ever be together--”

“Why not?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” I manage, voice low, “You almost married the Sun Summoner--”

“That was political--”

“Exactly, your marriage is meant to be political, and if it happens to be out of love--which is what I hope you get, because it is what you deserve--it will be to someone of status.”

Nikolai stands, the movement is that of a king, not the boy I know. “I do not want status or to love someone else--I want you.”

“I can’t take that from you--”

“You can’t take anything from me because I’ve already given it all to you.”

I press my lips together, heart tearing for him. “I love you too much to ruin you.”

My words seem to snap something in him because his eyes darken, the way he watches me adjusting accordingly. “You can’t ruin something that’s always been yours.”

I let myself smile. At him. At his words. At the foolish hope the child in me has clung to after all of these years. I reach for him thoughtlessly, because I have the right to. Because I’ve always had the right to. He’s quick to respond, kissing me with much more security than before.

This time, he pulls away of his own regard. “You still haven’t admitted that you were jealous.”

His teasing smugness isn’t as sour to me anymore. “I wasn’t.”

Nikolai pulls me towards him easily, lips threatening to brush against me, warm breath against my face. “Are you sure, darling? You were awfully quick to claim what’s yours.”

I roll my eyes, grinning so widely I’m surprised my face doesn’t yet hurt. “You’re the one that fell for a ten-year-old girl with a bloody mouth.”

When he smiles back at me, he places a hand on my hip, pulling me forward slightly. “That I did.” He pulls me forward slightly. "Does this mean you can sleep in here again?"

"If anything, this is more reason for me to sleep in another room." He rolls his eyes, pulling me even closer. "But I won't tell if you don't."

Nikolai leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Deal."

tags: @deardiarystuff @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone imagine #grisha #Grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse imagine #grishaverse x reader #shadow and bone netflix

[peachhoneii]

Hi! Want to talk about Mel a bit? If not you can ignore this ask.

I wasn't a fan of Mel at first because she just didn't grip me in an emotional way (i mostly resonated with Vik as a partially disabled person myself) and I wasn't sure what she would end up being like, but after I saw her past and all the hardship she went thought I understood her motives, why she did what she did and ended up loving her.

I'm really sorry about people being against her for "standing between" Jayce and Viktor.

I'm unsure if you are familiar with the VLD fandom but it felt like Allura vs K《*nce all over again to me, black female characters being torn down for a ship. Fandom racism is a serious problem amongst a bunch of other problems.

I am always up for talking about Mel. Let's talk about Mel.

I completely understand anyone connecting with a character they resonate with. Mel doesn't resonate with a lot of people, and I understand. I am happy you connected with Viktor because he (also a fantastic character) represented you in some capacity. In my opinion, that's a good thing when someone relates to a character for whatever reason.

Your reasons for not liking her (initially) are valid. Mel is a morally ambiguous, manipulative, and frankly, shady character, but from Act 1, I guess I knew there was going to be more of her. But I was already in her corner the second she appeared. There was no way I was not going to be ride or die for Mel. I've always wanted to watch a character like her exist in my fantastical world. She's a politician. She's playing the game of thrones in a morally corrupt city; she needs to be this way to survive.

As much as people may not agree with me, Mel didn't so much influence new traits in Jayce as much as she encouraged what was already present in Jayce. She saw him. She read him. "If you want this, this is what you'll have to pay. Here are all the avenues and channels. I'm sorry, but you're going to get your hands dirty." That's how I read Mel and her relationship with Jayce.

She's a very compassionate woman too. She could've been angry at Jayce for leaving her and she was a little miffed. But when Jayce explained why, she was instantly a source of comfort. She supports Jayce. She helps him, and when she feels he's making a bad play, she voices her opinion respectfully.

She isn't soulless, and you discover this compassion put her at odds with her family. She has a heart. It's so easy for people to demonize and demoralize Mel while lifting fucking Silco, who I also love. He is...something else.

(And then you meet her mom. It explains so, so, so much and btw, I love her mom. Her mom is awesome but also horrible. Just so awesome. The scene when her mom admits why she cast her out? Ouch and yet so amazing.)

I knew what to expect. Fandom claims they are very progressive and inclusive, but that's a bunch of a bullcrap. We know it's a lie. People are assholes, and you're going to find them in wherever fandom you go. Unfortunately, that includes racist misogynists. She's a woman. She's black. She's presented as a viable (and currently canon) love interest for Jayce, who is shipped with Viktor. I'll admit Viktor and Jayce do look like a great couple if made canon. I don't dislike it. What I don't like is when they shit on Mel to support their ship.

I remember VLD. I didn't even care about Klance. I remember loving Allura and Shiro, and that obviously blew up in my face. Hard. I remember all the crap Allura's character got swept up in fandom and canon.

Fortunately, Arcane seems to have raised the bar extremely high, and I feel (hope) Mel is going to get some gosh darn justice in this series.

Just to add, none of the characters are without faults. That's a big point in the series. It's a big point of the story and theme. Every character, or most of them, are doing what they feel is right for their people, consequences be damned in some cases aka Silco.

The most morally upright characters, in my opinion, are actually Caitlyn and Ekko.

#mel medarda #jayce #viktor #arcane #league of legends #league of legends arcane #fandom racism

[jess-the-vampire]

Goodness, your art gives me life, I swear. Also, I was wondering how the Belos - Hunter relationship works in your Swap AU. Are they still uncle and nephew or do they just meet randomly like Eda and Luz in the show? Or something else?

for the sake of the au, unless something changes in the show to make me readjust some things....they're not gonna be related. (Though tbf it's unclear even in the show the full extent of their family connection).

And they'll work like Eda and Luz already do, except belos is FAR more reluctant then Eda probably was to have a human in his house (He'll get used to it).

Instead of being abusive and murderous, Belos and Kiki are just like....grumpy hermits who don't like people and keep to themselves a lot. Belos won't leave the dang house really and kiki does most of the work and talking (So basically no different then the show XD).

They're criminals doing their own thing and Hunter's existence literally FORCES them to do things now because if they don't he will find a way to make things worse. XD

Hunter's smart, he's incredibly gifted and a huge wild magic nerd, but he gets himself into trouble because of his want to learn more about the world and having so much more freedom here then he did back home. He'll just stumble his way into danger because he likes to take risks in search of knowledge.

But he's also sarcastic and moody at times, they're a moody bunch.

Hunter never experiences the hard training and serious issues he does in the show, so here he's not as well trained in battle and his mind has yet to be seriously damaged. But his parents are also still like...dead in this au so like, he probably has some issues, he's still trying to cure belos.....which annoys the crap out of him btw but he gets used to it.

He's frequently witty tho, and gets easily annoyed when picked on, so basically he's about the same as he mostly is in the canon series, but with far less of the baggage and not as competent (Yet).

I didn't expect him to be so much of a straight man to luz's shenanigans as he turned out to be, but actually it kinda works better. Everyone just now drives hunter insane at times, and he has to put up with it.

- (Don't mind me, i'm rambling about the uncle stuff down here)

Honestly i figured something like this could happen because i was one of the people who HEAVILY suspected GG and Belos were gonna be related somehow.

Like before GG's age was revealed you were able to maybe assume GG was just some powerful adult general of belos's he had lying around and some rival to lilith and kiki, but when we got told he was 16 years old i knew something was up. (Tho i did suspect him being a kid when the intro came out and he looked really young in it)

He and belos were matching design wise in their outfits, they were both carrying matching staffs with similar magic to them. Belos appeared to have some special level of trust to this teenager in particular that i found too odd unless they had a connection between them.

Not to mention, all the important kid characters have parents we actually get to meet, and it seemed clear to me GG was going to be important to s2 in some fashion because of his involvement in the new intro, new poster, how dana was talking about him-

and it'd be so much weirder for the show to introduce this random kid without him having any connection to any previously established characters. And for me, belos made by far the most sense to be the character he's already connected to in terms of everything else i listed here.

It was either "These two are related" or "Belos is just REALLY attached to this teenager in particular for some reason", which still gave off parental vibes anyway.

So i was expecting this to possibly happen, where i'd have to rethink their relation in the au, but yeah no, for now i still think it works....especially since the show is being so vague about how hunter got into belos's hands in the first place.

I commend my great observation skills paying off here tho, i knew there had to be something familial between belos and GG, especially since they wanna obviously parallel eda and luz.

#the owl house hunter #the owl house golden guard #the owl house #toh #toh the golden guard #golden guard #the golden guard #toh golden guard #emperor belos #my art

[medusinestories]

Aaa Miranda is in this ep and so of course this got Long!

Black Sails, III (S1 ep03)

- I just LOVE the domestic scenes of Flint waking up at home, surrounded by white crisp linen, wearing an oversized shirt, and going straight to a pot of something that smells good (I'm guessing it's tea or a spice he intends to use afterwards). And also how, outside of the rough life at sea, he's actually delicate, wincing when Miranda tends to him a bit roughly.

- I think a reason why I didn't really understand Miranda on my first watch is because she's sulking in a very cool/restrained way in these scenes. She's relieved that Flint's back, but finds small ways to put him down (commenting on the blood on her floor, chiding him for not telling her about the wound, stinging him with disinfectant) that express that she's not altogether happy with him/his behaviour.

- In the meanwhile, Flint's back to being Captain Oblivious. In spite of Miranda's little digs he's so smug about having found the schedule that he doesn't notice that she's unhappy. It's only when she doesn't jump for joy when he gives her the Middleton book that he cottons on that she’s not in a great mood.

- Also, I'll die on the "Flint is bi" hill, and to me the way Flint looks at Miranda when she's fixing his bandages is not only smug but also seductive - she’s the one who’s not receptive in this moment. But the fact that Miranda talks of "having you all to myself" in the same conversation also suggests that their relationship is (still) romantic/sexual. (and while I’m on my unpopular opinion spree, I don’t want to hear anything about “straightbaiting”: reducing Flint and Miranda’s relationship to a trick used by the creators to make the audience think Flint is straight is deeply disrespectful of whatever these two characters share)

- We get to see a lot of Silver writing out the contents of the stolen page, and boy is he proficient with a quill and ink. Where/how/why did a little thief he learn to read and write? This definitely isn't the typical education of a London orphan.

- "Don't torture me, my pain threshold is very low, and I'd say anything to make it stop"... so Silver is threatening to be incoherent and/or inaccurate under torture? A pretty weak argument when faced with someone who wants to torture you for information. And this reminds me that Gates (and Flint, and Billy though he looked very ill at ease) was ready to torture Max in the previous episode to get information, though he presented it as a last resort. And yet here Flint snorts and walks away when Billy suggests torture decides to take Silver along with their crew. So how is Silver different from Max, here? Could it possibly be related to the fact that he and Flint eyesex stare at each other all through the conversation, hmm?

- Back to Breaking Billy: Billy wants to do everything in his power to prevent the crew from finding out that Silver is the actual thief, imo mostly because he doesn't want the crew to find out that he lied to them about Singleton. Billy is shown to be a terrible liar: when he brings Silver to Randall, saying Silver lost a bet to him, Randall immediately tells him that there's no betting onboard, catching him out and putting him in an awkward situation. Gates also warned Billy off canvassing to find out if the crew is still angry with Flint, and was quite right: Morley and Turk immediately figure out what he's doing. However, by the end of the episode, he also uses his reputation of being honest to convince Morley that Singleton was, indeed, a thief. I wonder how he feels about using his reputation of honesty to cover up a lie.

- In the meantime Silver actually does what Billy was trying to do very badly: he finds out who's still against Flint. Unlike Captain Oblivious, Silver has somehow intuited that Billy needed to find the dissenters, possibly because he's figured out that Billy hates keeping up the lie. In any case, he plays double agent in order to gain Billy’s trust (perhaps a bad strategy to gain an honest man’s trust... just saying).

- Hornigold, after an incredibly pompous tirade about the noble origins of the chair he’s sitting on, has the gall to call Flint arrogant and presumptuous. Apparently, arrogant and presumptuous is the kind of people who Gates is friends with/drawn to. I also can't help but wonder why Gates believes that Hornigold's crew knows and trusts him and that it'll be easy for him to captain them. I wonder if Hornigold used to have Gates as a Quartermaster, pre-Flint. The fact that Hornigold tells Gates that he's starting to speak like Flint, in a reproachful tone, could also  be a clue.

- Gates' advancing age is a major subject in this episode, with Hornigold saying that Gates is one of the rare people who's actually getting dumber with age, and Rackham playing on Gates' doubts about his physical condition and mental alertness to convince him to enrol Vane in their capture of the Urca. Gates himself mentioned previously that he doesn’t plan on pirating all his life. Interestingly, Flint doesn't once suggest that he has any doubt about Gates’ ability to captain a ship, and I really don’t think he has (both a sign of great trust, but also a Captain Oblivious trait, as he’s seemingly blind to Gates’ anxiety and possibly the reality of Rackham’s comment about Gates’ physical condition).

- In this episode, Miranda hands her copy of Meditations to Richard Guthrie. Some people have asked why she'd hand something so revealing about Flint to someone like Guthrie. At the point where she gives the book to him, he: 1) doesn't know who she is (she refuses to answer when asked) 2) is supposedly bedridden and being guarded by an armed man, and therefore 3) wouldn't be able to guess who "T.H." is with the information that he currently has. She didn't expect Richard Guthrie that would be a sneaky bastard who was less wounded than he appeared to be and who’d go snooping around her house at the first occasion (btw, snooping parallel: Guthrie in Flint’s house finds out personal information and Silver in Flint’s cabin finds out strategic information). I think that what Miranda wanted was to have someone she could talk to about Meditations, a book that she, her husband, and Flint had all enjoyed, and that she likely couldn’t share with Flint anymore because it’s too painful a subject for him.

- Which brings me to Miranda's situation: her loneliness and the precariousness of her life is already framed quite clearly in this episode. The pastor sends spies to watch her house when Flint is around, and openly asks her to join his congregation so that he can save her from Flint and the impending arrival of the Navy. In the meantime, the crew believe she's at the centre of Flint's "evil": some believe that she's a witch who controls Flint, and Morley tells Billy that she's the reason why Flint treats the crew like pawns.

- The whole Flint/Gates workplace comedy scenes never fail to crack me up. Flint laughing at the suggestion Vane should captain the second ship, followed by "you're serious", and Gates doing damage control in a very restrained tone at first, then the second time screaming insults at Flint... just... *chef's kiss*

- Rackham is shown to be incredibly devious and persuasive in this episode. He manages to convince Gates to convince Flint to take on his worst enemy as a work partner (in a moment when he's getting into Gates' head, he goes as far as to imitate his Yorkshire accent!). He's also extremely aware that Vane isn't all that interested in money, but definitely interested in what Eleanor will think of him. I’d also note that if someone is callous about Max in this episode, it’s him: he sends Vane to “deal with her”, expecting him to kill her off.

- As much as we know that Flint's "tough captain" behaviour is partly an act, we tend to forget that Vane is also shown to be keeping up appearances in order to remain a leader of an extremely difficult/unruly crew. I didn't address the punch in the face he gives Eleanor in ep 1, but he explicitly says this was to avoid losing face in front of his men after she punched him. The same goes for the capture/beating/rape of Max: "what you did required an answer", he tells her. But then chooses to secretly set her free rather than rape/kill her as he’s expected to do. He's obviously smitten with Eleanor, and is the one who initiates tender moments after sex. This is why I can never really dislike this ship, because it's between two very damaged people who are at odds mostly because they’re in a power struggle where they each have to look strong/powerful.

- I hate hate hate the whole Max-rape plot, as I'm sure most of the fandom also does. I do get that Max is furious with Eleanor, and possibly extra-furious because Eleanor instantly turns saving Max from Vane's crew into a strategic move where she punishes Vane (ironically, the one who wanted to let Max go) by forcing Vane’s crew into joining Flint, rather than focusing on, say, Max’s wellbeing. But "Max wants to hurt Eleanor/is hurting from the breakup so badly that she willingly submits to being raped/beaten by the crew, AGAIN"... hrm. I have trouble connecting this self-destructive side of Max's personality with the character we see after her ordeal. Again, opinions welcome because I may be missing/misunderstanding something, but I feel like the writers didn’t really know what they were doing with her character at this point.

#black sails #flint #miranda #flintmiranda #silver #silverflint #billy #gates #max #maxanor #vane #eleanor #vane x eleanor #rackham #anne #maxanne #hornigold #rape mention #meta #black sails rewatch

[slythraco]

Hey I just read your sfw Tom ABC’s and I gotta ask any chance we can get a NSFW ABC’s for Tom? 🙊🙈😍 obsessed with your writing and just discovered you!!

Author's note: Here it is ! I hope you’ll like it ! I’m all very new to writing smut so i really think i could’ve done better but i guess it’s with practice that i’ll get better ! Anyway, have fun ! Also, I took the alphabet from @malfycs you can find it here (Btw, her NSFW alphabet about Draco is crazy ! I recommend reading it if you haven’t already and you like spice !

Warnings: 🔴+18🔴, This thing is all about sex so if you're under 18 please don't read it !

Words count: 1,5K

Masterlist

______________

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Tom loves to cuddle you after such an intimate moment. He always covers you in kisses and caresses to make you feel loved. He also tells you a bunch of cute words in your ear, never falling to make you fall a little more in love with him.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

His eyes, for sure. It's the first thing people see in him, and it's normal because they are incredibly beautiful. He knows the power he holds when he looks right into your eyes and loves to see you get lost in them.

And for you, It's hard for him to choose one favourite part of your body since he likes every single inch of you but you would bet that he particularly likes your belly, at night we're your cuddling on the bed or in the couch, he always lay his head on your tummy while you play with his blond hair. He also always leaves kisses all over it, which never fail to tickles you and he loves hearing your laughter when he does this.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I'm a disgusting person)

Tom biggest fear is that you'll feel degraded during sec so when he feels the need to cum he'll completely refuse to cum on your face on in your mouth if you don't give your consent to it. Otherwise, he'll cum in you or on your belly.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Tom secretly the biggest dream is to go around the world with you and have sex in the most beautiful places. He already imagines himself eating you up on a beach of Hawaii or Bahamas, making you love in a bedroom with view of the Eiffel Tower, pounding in and out of you while your moaning resonate in the lanes of Berlin.

He'll propose the idea to you soon enough.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

It might not seem like it, but, Tom knows what he's doing. At least after making a few times, your first time together was really banal and clumsy because of the level of stress Tom was enduring, but he was already so much better the second time.

Why ? You may ask, because he remembers EVE-RY-THING. He studies all your reactions and notes in a small corner of his head all of yours weak spots and things that makes you go crazy. Trust me, after a few times, Tom is completely able to make you come in a matter of seconds if he wants to.

And the more you have sex the more it gets better since he's always searching for a new spot to exploit to make you come for him.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Tom's favourite position probably the missionary, he finds it perfect. As a shy and romantic guy in bed he loves the intimacy and the proximity of it. He can easily kiss you while he makes love to you, or kiss your neck to make you even more crazy. He can also look at your beautiful face screaming his name, which drives him insane.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Tom is globally serious with you're having sex, but he can crack a joke once in a while to take the pressure off. Especially before it actually begin. He'll bring a bad pick-up line often inspired by Harry Potter like "Would you let me Slyther-in tonight ?" Is his favourite one so far, he used it a lot, but he always tries to find new ones.

H = Hot Spots (Places that drive them crazy)

Definitely his thighs or his neck, every time your hands touch his thighs he can't help but jump a bit and looking at your hand to make sure you don't move it too far in front of people because this shit can turn him on in a matter of seconds.

And his neck because when you're starting to kiss it or bite on it, he can turn into a totally different person. You can say bye to the pure and cute Tom to leave room for a dominant and nasty version of him which can be surprising at first.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspects)

Well, there is two Toms. The really romantic and gentle Tom and the dominant and rough Tom it really depends in his and your mood on the moment.

He'll either be really loving, covering you with kisses and caresses for you to fell like the most precious thing in his eyes which you are. He'll do everything to make you feel all the power of his love, and he loves to hold your hands while making it.

Or, he'll turn into the unknown version of him. If he's mad at something, nervous or you two have been away for a long time, he'll become rough and dominant. Shocking, slaps (on your butt) and even love marks to remind you who you belong to.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He only does it when he's away from you for a film otherwise when you're around him there is no need to do it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Something Tom loves to do is to take ice between his lips and trace a line on your body. Seeing the block of ice melting on your warm skin drives him crazy. And you, you love the contrast of the cold feeling on your body, it makes you even more turned on.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Simple but your bed, you both like to be comfortable and the bed is the best place to be.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Something that can go crazy in less than a second is when you clearly ask him to fuck you. With that, Tom wouldn't a second to get you undressed to satisfy your wishes. When you kiss him languorously too, which can be a problem sometimes when you are in public and your kisses give him an erection.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

Don't you ever think of having him touching your feet. He hates it. And like mention before he doesn't like a situation where you could feel degraded, so you can cross out BDSM, he doesn't like the idea of being violent (more than just give you a slap on your ass), he doesn't find anything exciting about it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) He likes both to be honest, he doesn't really have a preference, he loves when you suck his cock it always makes him feel extremely good and make you realise it with his moans. But he also loves to hear you moans his name as he eats you up, and you just taste so good he could do it all day.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Like mentioned before, it depends on Tom's mood.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

It's not his favourite way of having sex, but he doesn't mind it if you don't have much time, and he's really horny. Quickies happen a lot when he's promoting a new film, since during these period he doesn't have a lot of free time you two manage to have quick sex between two interviews.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Yes ! A lot of Tom's first time were with you, he's always up to try new things with you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Tom can honestly last really long, he knows how to keep himself from cumming

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

The only toy Tom own is a connected vibrator. One he asked you to put it in, and you went to a dinner together. Let me tell you, he had so much fun making it vibrate at the most random moments to see you keep yourself from moaning in front of everyone, and he found it so fucking sexy. You probably had the best sex night after that.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He does it all the time, he would slip some nasty words in the crook of your ear to make you shiver before disappearing. Or something else he loves to do is to snog with you until you almost do it but then get up and do something completely different, he finds it so funny when you get mad but also so hot, so he never teases for a long time before he actually fuck you mercilessly.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Tom definitively makes some sounds in the sheets, he likes you to know how good you make him feel. He's also really vocal at the moment, telling all kinds of dirty things in your ears. "Just like that." ; "You make me feel so good darling." ; "You're so tight." ; "You're so beautiful." ; "Continu like that." And that's only a little part of what he can tell you.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Tom doesn't stop after you had an orgasm, actually, it makes him even more horny and will continue to fuck you until you have a few more. Otherwise, he doesn't feel like he did a good job.

X = X-Ray (What they look like under clothes)

Tom is a grower, I'd say about 6 inches at rest and almost 9 when he's hard. Also, his cock is long and thin, so he's definitely big enough to satisfy you.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He never says no to a good romp, especially with you. He just can't contain himself when he's around you, you're just too damn desirable. He always feels the need to feel his naked body against yours.

Z = ZZZ (... how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not that quickly actually, he likes to cuddle and talk with after a such intimate moment. And he usually waits for you to be asleep before him before he can allow himself to do so.

#TOM #Tom Felton #tom felton imagine #tom felton one shot #tom felton x reader #tomblr #tom felton smut

[ryuichirou]

Out of all the snk shipping fandoms, which one do you think is the best/most wholesome? And which one is the worst/most toxic? Reminder that we’re talking about fandoms here and not ships (btw even tho I hate ereri I can’t help but love your art about it, it’s just amazing and hilarious, keep it up!)

Interesting question! As you might know, we don’t consider ourselves a part of any shipping fandom (or any fandom in general), so we can only talk about how we (and people we know) were treated by them. There won’t be much of an “inside” experience, because well we’re not “inside” any of these. And a lot of it is “people who ship X tend to shit on Ereri absolutely unprovoked at every chance they get, so we really don’t like them” lol

Obligatory and very obvious: loving a certain ship doesn’t make you a good/bad person, and there are a lot of wholesome people in any shipping fandom: we’ve met a lot of very kind, helpful and open-minded folks during these two years. So if any of you read this and think “oh, I ship X too, and this doesn’t sound like me or my friends at all”, chances are I’m not talking about you. But there’s always a possibility that peeps that you interact with in your shipping circle are pretty nice to you, but super mega shitty to others. Whether you ignore this type of behavior or not is up to you. I just want all the harassment to stop, because frankly we’re very tired.

As someone who ships Ereri, we’ve experienced and witnessed a lot lol especially on twitter. The most vocal ones would be Levihan, Eremin and Eruri fandoms I suppose.

With Eruri fandom, we’ve heard a lot of stories about some people bashing Zevi and attacking Zevi shippers + we’ve witnessed the great Eruri vs Ereri war, so of course we know how pretentious and rude they can get. There are people who felt like they were exiled from the Eruri shipping fandom for either shipping any other character with Levi or just seeing characters and their relationships differently (i.e. not seeing them as wholesome husbands or preferring Levi to bottom which is apparently a sin for Eruris too sometimes nowadays???). Although it’s important to mention that I feel like Eruri shippers know how shitty the anti stuff is better than a lot of other communities, so I don’t feel the same aggression from them at this moment.

If we’re talking twitter, based on what we and our friends have experienced, the most aggressive groups seem to be Levihan and Eremins. When I go through my blocking sprees and block everyone who hates on Ereri or Zevi or Eruri (well, mostly Ereri), ~88% of the accs happen to be either Eremin or Levihans. When someone writes a long-ass thread to attack a content creator, it always happen to be either of these two, and I have no idea why. A lot of them are also minors who act like the way they harass others is perfectly justified. I legit see stuff like “besties let’s spoil snk for ereris” and “let’s bully ereris and tell them to kys” every time I search ereri on twitter. And I’ve seen enough of Levihan folks saying shit like Eruris being criminals because Erwin is basically a nazi + spreading misinformation about popular artists just out of spite… extremely annoying stuff. Actually, I think you’re the first LH person who’s been kind to us lol

Also don’t get the idea that there are no toxic people in the Ereri community, because this simply isn’t true. Like I said, every fandom has its own clique and a certain level of toxicity, and it’s stupidly easy to be the “wrong one” here, at least it used to when we just started posting. People who’ve been following us for a while know that we used to get a lot of crap for making Levi a bottom on all of our drawings and not wanting characters to switch. It’s such a stupid reason to get harassed, who the fuck cares whether a character tops or bottoms in a drawing??? And yet we’ve been told that a lot of harassment has happened because of it + experienced it ourselves. I think the only reason we don’t get harassed for it very often nowadays is because of a luxury of being a kind of a big art account. It’s much easier to attack smaller ones who don’t have any power or connections, especially when they’re insecure and want to fit in with the fandom.

Now for some reason some people now think that we (me and Katsu) block people for loving top!Levi or bottom!Eren… this isn’t true. I admit that I can get petty when I block people, but it’s always about their attitude and never about their preferred ship or character’s position. Whether you like something or not is none of our business, and we never criticized what others like, so it’s kind of offensive that people think we’d act that way towards others when we ourselves experienced the same treatment for making Levi bottom every single time. It’s childish and disgusting, and I really don’t want people to think of us as someone who approves of this behavior.

Top!Levi stans act pretty toxic too sometimes, not only in Ereri (well Riren) community. The majority of comments about our Levi being ooc, looking like a child and being too horny and blushy we got from them, they get straight-up OFFENDED by our Levi. We’ve talked about how people are afraid to make Levi into anything but a serious and stoic manly man a lot in the past… And this is the only reason we get defensive when people ask us about top!Levi. But still, we never block anyone because of their preferences. This assumption is very... idk yikes, and more disgusting is the fact that people very easily jump to this conclusion, like... seriously? That’s what you think about us? So much for “uwu our supportive shipping fandom community”.

Shippers of het ships can get quite toxic too, especially after the finale. Some of Eremika peeps got wild, and you’ve probably seen our replies about it and that one Anon who got very upset with our reply about Eren. For some reason, when you post something het-related, there’s always going to be a person saying shit like “NAAAH HE LOVES X, NOT HER”, as if any of this matters. They are the type to whine about Eruri shippers ruining beautiful friendship between Erwin and Levi with their homo sexy stuff. They’re often disrespectful: shit in your comments, belittle other ships with comments like “well THIS is much better than X”, and overall make the experience very uncomfortable. For some reason they just can’t enjoy their darn ships without shitting on others.

Anyhow. I know this reply sounds like “everyone’s a shithead” lol, but once again: sadly, there are nasty people in almost every shipping circle, this is unavoidable. And it’s easier to mark them as “shippers of X”, because they often act like a clique or high school bullies or something. And even though there are a lot of very nice people, I tend not to associate them with any shipping community: it’s just a pleasant and cool person who we had fun communicating with, and who just happen to ship X, Y and Z.

Maybe… it’s fair to say that we dislike fandoms, but talking to people who are kind, polite and excited about the same things that we are, is always great.

Siiigh, hope I didn’t bore you to death with this reply. Thank you for giving us an opportunity to talk about this! And for enjoying my art and being open-minded :)

#replies

[plutoswrath]

i’m back again because i want to ask again for other cool cartoon characters risings like avatar the last airbender ones or even teen titans ones. or just any characters you’re fond of. i always thought azula was cancer/scorpio and zuko was aries/scorpio. i’ve put an unhealthy amount of thought into those two because i wanted to calculate their home life/ic while i did it. azula with cancer and libra ic makes sense just due to her being more spoiled. scorpio makes less sense to me when using the ic method for her so i basically just convinced myself it’s cancer. when using the ic method with zuko, aries makes 50/50 sense because he was babied but the rest of his familial relationships were yikes. he could also very well be libra ic too because he has some really harmonious relationships with a select few of his family and then some REALLY bad ones mixed in. it’s balanced out like that. i just realized that i basically just assumed you’ve seen atla and that’s rather presumptuous of me. so feel free to ignore this lmao.

An ask about Avatar….,,,.excellent 🤌🤌🤌

Very nice observations from your side here, while we’re at it, let’s stay a while with Azula and Zuko!

I think considering their IC/MC axis here is really important and helpful as well with these two. Zuko and Azula both grew up in the same home, but while Zuko had a good connection to his mother and bad one to his father, Azula had a bad connection with her mother and thus was more even more focused on her father and followed his steps.

I think Zuko could be a Leo/Scorpio/Cancer Ascendant. Leo Ascendant because his whole journey revolves around rebuilding his reputation and thus focuses a lot on his relationship with his own ego. He comes from a family that forced him into ultimate survival mode and made him dependent on the power of others, there were a lot of secrets he had to uncover. His self image and self worth is really damaged, he comes across as stubborn, fixed, team avatar is barely able to talk him out of his rigid perception and ideas of how people are, how connections are ought to be, even though all he is is deeply hurt inside. In the end, he values peace and harmonious connections. On the other hand, an Aries Rising would push him to become an individual that values taking responsibility and a Cancer rising would explain his aggressive and ‘lone wolf, get out of my way’ behavior: his story of being an autonomous individual went from being self righteous and motivated by ‘becoming strong’ to someone independent from the judgement of his family, able to form and decide his own path.

Azula could be a Scorpio rising because of her exposure to secrets but also many intrigues in her childhood, there was no ‘order’ and many liars/trainers that only revealed themselves after a while (Pisces IC: revealing the truth sparely over time in families), and now she tries to create ‘the right thing’ and order and just with her father together by dictatorship (Virgo MC). Which for me btw is also very funny because due to Azula ending up alone and being deceived by the ideologies of her father she slowly falls back into a messy, chaos state (Pisces IC) which she so desperately wanted to eliminate by following the only thing that’s right (following Ozai). I also get why she could be a Cancer Ascendant with an Aries MC, an Aries Ascendant with a Capricorn MC, but I can also kinda see her being a Libra rising with a Capricorn IC and Cancer MC because her family required her to be autonomous and cold/cruel from an early age on and she adapted to it and now follows her fathers credo, and actually is quiet manipulative, especially when it comes to Zuko. She keeps reminding him of her family ‘back then’ and once even lured him back to her only to reveal. That deep down she is still the same, duty oriented person.I think actually a Scorpio MC with Taurus IC kinda make sense with her closed off, manipulative nature on the surface and her being spoiled by/the golden child her father in her childhood buuuut I personally have a harder time seeing her as an Aquarius Ascendant.

I think uncle Iroh can be a Taurus Rising with an Aquarius MC and Leo IC or Sagittarius Rising with an Aries IC and Libra MC - he was feared and came from a place of pure destruction and egotism (which he was very popular and praised for by his nation) but came to be a person that changed his perspective and was eager to be a person preaching of harmony and the cycle and symbiosis between the elements and energies/people on earth. I think Uncle Iroh could have his Sun (especially if he’s a Sagittarius, which he btw always was for me) or Jupiter conjunct his MC. Or he is a Pisces Rising with a Sagittarius MC, I think Iroh’s big mentor energy and the wisdom as well as huge transformation he went through in his life stick out the most for me. Due to to the transformational aspect in his life he could also have the potential to have very prominent Scorpio/8th house in his chart paired with the other signs I listed above!

Katara could very well be a Cancer Sun with a Cancer MC, seriously she carries big Cancer energy and the fact that they lost both their parents and had to be self sufficient and grow up on their own quickly (little to no time to truly process their feelings) and she taking over the role of the mother naturally speaks for this. She's very sensitive to keeping a harmonious vibe in team avatar, but yet she's also not blind to any mistreatments and injustice. She tries to mainatain a balance of kind and strict. Also, with Capricorn as her 4th house it would explain why she's seen as serious, even unfunny, by team avatar, those that know her pretty well and actually get a glimpse of her IC nature. I kinda can see her having her Ascendant and MC/Sun in an Aquarius degree as well.

Aang for me is very young at heart, childlike and seems to like being in the presence with others and thus for me always carried a Leo IC (due to circumstances he also received a lot of attention from others and was either hated or liked for his reputation/character growing up because he faced a lot of jealousy/mistreatment from his peers as well). I think despite the fact that we quiet literally watch Aang having to become an adult in his early years, he is someone who has to act for the greater good regarding the danger human kind faces and the responsibility he carries (which also contradicts his peaceful nature) are enormous but due to that he always seemed to be an Aquarius MC for me, a bearer and symbol of change and philanthropy. And a Taurus Ascendant would make sense especially if he’s an air Sun (as I always imagine him).

I need to think a bit more thoroughly about Toph and Sokka (also even though I watched the serious probably around a thousand times I want to reread Sokka's and Toph's story arc again before getting back at their possible Ascendant!) feel free to share your thoughts! x

#replies #anonymous #astrology #zodiac #avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar astrology