That one time I made a post on Twitter about how Sir Pentious' character could've gone in the story 3 days before the finale.
It did numbers...
And in a way it came true...
WOAH!!
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I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.
This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.
But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.
Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:
This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.
And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.
Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.
Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.
He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.
She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.
Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.
Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.
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So. Norris! Buddy. Is there any particular reason you decided to read that particular file for everyone?
You know, the file about a man consumed by fear and guilt because he murdered the person he loved?
The file about a man who finds himself trapped in a walled garden, cut off from the outside world, with his murdered lover's voice forever whispering in whatever remains of his ears?
The file about a man who finds himself gradually losing his humanity as his new prison transforms him, slowly and painfully, into a part of itself?
The file about a man who finds that even as this transformation ultimately brings him serenity on the surface, even as he can no longer remember what he once was, "deep inside [him] beneath the roots there is something that still shakes with terror"?
Look, I'm just asking, here, but is there anything you'd like to say to the class, Norris?
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THEY AREN'T THE FEARS ANYMORE!! THEY'RE DESIRES
(SPOILERS for TMA, and all of TMAGP episodes so far)
Okay, here me out
Tmagp1: Darla wants to hear Arthur's voice again. She even says: "I just couldn’t face the thought of the rest of my life never hearing him again, I had to try" and later on she even says: "But I had to know, so I went to the cemetery."
Tmagp1: RedCanary wants to know about the Magnus Institute. They want to know why it's listed under 'cleared' when there's no evidence of it. Hence why they go and explore it.
Tmagp2: Daria wants that absolute perfection. She wants to change who she is and get out of that dark place. When she talks about the thing that she felt was missing, she says, "... and that’s when I decide I need a tattoo. I had a couple already – just little things on my shin and my wrist – but I decided I needed something big. Something that really changed my look." She also mentions when talking about Ink5oul that "they just kept pressing me about my life, about why I wanted the ink" instead of asking what design she wanted. And when she got the tattoo she describes herself as now being, "Someone I wanted to know more about." Afterwards she even says how "For the first time ever [she] wanted to attempt a self-portrait. Something real and physical, [she] wanted to feel the brushes in my hands and the oil on [her] fingertips." I think a lot of her statement is about her desire and impulsive need for that perfection and that wholeness that she has been aspiring to for her whole life.
Tmagp3: Samuel wants to stay hidden. He wants and he "need[s] to get up, get out of here for treatment." He wants to get better and most of his delirious thoughts are the things that he wants, or feels like he needs. E.g. "I so much want to see it [the sun] again. This night seems endless. I want to be warm again. I am terribly afraid. Thank god for Maddie. I need to treat her better."; "I just need to rest."; "I need to be careful or we’ll drift apart." And then obviously as the narrative continues, Samuel wants to grow and 'put down roots'.
Tmagp4: The narrator wants to be revered and accepted into the Royal Court Orchestra of the Palatinate. He wants to show off and impress. The violin "was a creature with needs and purpose of its own. The needs were simple enough. Blood. Flesh." It has these needs and desires.
So far, I'm interpreting it to be that everything so far can be interpreted as a desire of sorts, varying in the strength and intensity of it. Obviously, fear is still a big part of it all, because if you want something so badly, aren't you afraid of it being stolen from you? Of it being out of your grasp? Of it being unachievable or impossible in some capacity? Of it being a lie?
Even Sam wants to find out more. He wants to know the why and the reason for things. Gwen wants Lena's job. Collin wants to fix all these bugs and keep Freddie running. Alice wants to just get on with it because she found out that wanting to know the 'why' of things is dangerous.
I think that somehow when the Web took all the Fears into a different universe, they morphed into something else. Or they changed to fit what was the most prevalent thing in that universe, because after all, everyone wants something, even if it's something small and inconsequential. Life and aspects of it has always been characterised by that desire for something. Like people wanting food, shelter, safety, love, warmth, happiness, etc. And I think since the Web was so intwined with Jon and Martin, it absorbed some of their emotions when it found its way into this new world, because after all Jon and Martin wanted to stop Jonah/Elias, to stop the apocalypse, to destroy the Panopticon, to be safe, and they wanted each other. I think the wanting and fear of things are really entwined in it all, though this could be absolute bullshit haha
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the subtle way that the magnus protocol is building its horror like a apartment complex over the graveyard that is the magnus archives is soooo fascinating to me. I don't just mean the inclusion of gerry and gertrude or the fact that gwen is a bouchard, I mean just the faint brushes of tma everywhere: sam and alice are exes, just like jon and georgie. something about needles and his coy-but-flustered monologuing is reminiscent of michael and the other twinkifiable avatars in tma. sam trying to break through locked doors and what we know about door symbolism. colin and his jon-like descent into paranoia, and his melanie-ish casualness around (probably) doing illegal or dangerous things. alice making corny jokes and sounding ever-so-slightly like Tim. Lena and food versus Elias and cake. the narrative is haunting the narrative...oh dramatic irony, we're really in it now
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GOOD OMENS SPOILERS.
So I've been thinking a lot about Muriel. About how they're sweet and naive and sort of dumb, and they're a 37th class angel.
In fact, Muriel’s level of naivety is nearly the same as Jim-level naivety/dumbness. And Jim was supposed to be a 38th class angel, after being demoted from Supreme Archangel and having his memories removed.
And when this was revealed Muriel says 'I didn't know there was a class below me', what if Muriel is just a demoted angel? What if Heaven just keeps demoting any angel who goes against God’s (the Metatron’s) Plan and making a new, lower class for them? Instead of making them fall, they just keep taking memories and demoting angels so that there wont be a perceived ‘institutional problem’. Which there isn’t. Right?
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Eddie: Kicks the 3rd woman he’s dated out of his house because of repressed catholic guilt after avoiding having sex with her.
Buck: absolutely flailing as a baby disaster bisexual and sending his date running for the hills before they even finish their meal.
Chris, “out of town” somewhere, sitting on a curb and smoking a cigarette: Jesus Christ, these two fucking idiots…
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