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lilousmustaches · 3 years

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Work this out

Jake Peralta x Reader

Warnings: Ladies stuff, i won't say anything else to avoid spoilers.

Notes: Here i am writing again after 3 years.... a total new fandom. I am watching b99 and i'm so addicted, Jake is the only thing in my mind right now and i had to do this. It didn't go as i planned, but i hope it's ok. It's small and english is not my first language. Expect more of Jake x Reader here, it's my first try and voilá.

Summary: Jake and the reader have a friends with benefits relationship and suddenly she starts to act strange.

Another work day in NYPD's 99 precinct. It had everything to be another normal day. Well... normal as it can get down there. But it wasn't.

Immediately when you entered the precinct, Jake turned his head up from his computer to give you a smile and probably a silly joke provoking you. But his smile vanished as soon as he saw you pass everyone with your head down, no good mornings and going somewhere down the hall.

"Hey" Rosa called looking between Jake and the hall you just disappeared. "What's up with (Y/N)?"

"I don't know." Jake responded confused as everybody else in the room. You were a joyful person, always smiling and greeting every single person that worked there.

"What have you done Jake?" Amy asked angry assuming it was his fault since everyone knew about yours friends with benefits relationship that has been going on for a while now.

"What? Nothing" Jake answered quickly indignant with the assumption.

"No, Amy is right Jake." Boyle said getting up of his desk and coming closer. "(Y/N) is acting weird this days, yesterday she didn't even wanted to eat some of my salmon cookies. She loves that. And coming here and not giving my good morning hug? Definitely something's strange."

"Boyle is right on that one." Rosa agreed with her arms crossed.

"I don't know ok?" Jake answered frustrated with your strange behavior rising his hands in surrender. "(Y/N) didn't went to my place this last weekend, in fact I had barely seen her for the past days. I really have no idea... maybe she's just trying to dump me and trying to make it easier."

"Or maybe she's tired of waiting for you to ask her out on a real date and assume her as your girlfriend!" Boyle pointed raising an eyebrow to his friend. "You should tell her how you really feel."

"Yeah, haven't you kept her waiting long enough?" Amy agreed. Everybody that met you and Jake knew eventually you were going to stay together. You had the same kind of humor and the same sassy tone. So it wasn't exactly a surprise when in one of the squad's reunions at the bar, you and Jake got hammered and started to talk and laugh closer to each other. Not a long time after that, you both disappeared going straight to his house. "It's has been months since this 'friends with benefits' thing started."

"Look guys." Jake said with a frustrated sigh rolling his eyes. "(Y/N) and I have talked about this. She's not ready yet for a relationship, she passed a hard time with that son of a bitch ex of hers. She needs time and I respect that."

"Oh here she comes." Rosa alerted and quickly everybody went back to their places and pretended to be working. You came out of the files room discussing something with Terry.

"Okay (Y/N), we can work on that. Good job." Terry said with a sweet smile going back to his desk, and you to yours. You sat down in silence still not looking around organizing your paperwork, but notice everyone quiet and you could literally feel their stares burning on your skin.

"What?" You finally said looking around to your colleagues and everybody tried to disguise murmuring a lot of 'nothing' 'just working'. Everybody unless Jake. He was watching you intensely trying to figure out what was wrong.

Your eyes locked for a second and you could see that he was worried, and that broke your heart even more. This wasn't supposed to happen right now. Your heart was beating fast and nervousness took over your body. You quickly turned your attention to your desk again and took your purse pretending to organize something there.

"Good morning squad, today..." Captain Holt started to say walking out of his office but stopped in his tracks when looked over your desk and catch the sight of something inside your purse. He looked back and forth you and Jake. "Oh..."

"Oh what? What oh?" Jake asked fast doing his classic bite lip when he was anxious, trying to figure out what Holt saw that he didn't.

"Hmm" Holt said looking at Jake like he didn't know what to do now. "(Y/N) please come to my office."

Jake watched you get up and follow Holt into his office, closing the door behind you and closing the shutters. He strained his eyes shaking his head in denial. Ok, this was how things was going to go? Fine! He was a detective and he was so on for this investigation.

xXxXxXxXx

Jake wanted to stay and see your expression when you got out of Holt's office, but duty called and he had to be on the streets all day. He put everyone on the precinct working on the case '(Y/N)'s secret 0.1', and every minimum suspicious movement, they were oriented to send him a message.

Charles really took it seriously.

Nothing useful thought. Man he was frustrated, he solves all type of cases everyday but he couldn't figure out what was wrong with the women he liked? It was driving him crazy!

It has just grown dark when Jake entered back the 99, some people from the night shift was already there and he could only spot Boyle from his friends.

"Hey Jake! Did you read my messages? Did you find them useful?"

"Hmmm... Yeah Charles, of course, thank you." Jake said after pondering the answer in his head although It was no useful at all. Charles told him every single one of your steps through the day, Jake wanted to know if you did something strange not your constant need to pee on that day. "(Y/N) already went home?"

"Actually no, I just send you a text, didn't you read it?" He asked feeling insulted but continued when saw Jake's face. "Ok, she and Terry are still working on that case but (Y/N) got hot, she said she needed some air. She's on the roof."

"Hot? (Y/N) is always cold." He said confused but suddenly something clicked and everything started to fall into place inside his head. "I got go."

His steps were fast to open the door for the roof and he immediately spotted you looking at the city view. You didn't turn but he knew that you knew it was him.

"Hey you." He said softly slowly approaching you until he was by your side. "I was worried today, you know?"

"I kind of got that.... Charles followed me into the ladies bathroom three times." You said making you both laugh. "So what it was? Like a secret case that everybody worked? How was it called? '(Y/N)'s secret 0.1?'"

"What? No. I wouldn't go that obvious." Jake answered laughing nervously. Oh man, you knew him too damn well. "But yeah, was definitely working on that case. I worry about (Y/N). You were pushing me away, you didn't even answered my calls this last weekend. Sure, you could be done with our casual thing or whatever, but I know you. I knew it was not it."

"Jake, look..." You said with a sigh but he interrupted you.

"I was confused as hell this morning, but suddenly everything clicked. Yesterday you didn't want that weird salmon cookies Charles brings. I adore you but those are nasty as fuck, by the way. You didn't drink coffee when you got here today, you always do that. And not greeting anyone? That means something happened yesterday night that got you worried." Jake said and paused waiting for a reaction, but he took your silence a sign to continue his deduction. "Of course you could be suspecting for a while now, and that's why you have been avoiding me. Captain saw your purse when he got out of his office. He saw your tampons, am I right? Untouched. Your usual period date has already passed, and everybody knows when it is because of how much pain you feel. Usually stays only in paper work those days. Constantly needing to pee. But none of it hit me until Charles said you were feeling hot. You're always cold and asks for my jackets. Those are all symptoms of...."

"Hit me Sherlock." You said and waited for his right answer.

"You're pregnant." Jake said finally, his face softening. "It is mine?" He asks feeling insecure but he changed his mind when saw your face. "Dumb question. Shouldn't say that. Of course it's mine."

"I'm so sorry Jake, I just didn't know how to say it. You're right in everything, I started suspecting since last Friday but only took the test yesterday." You said starting to feel tears in your eyes. "And yes, Captain Holt found out in seconds. I just begged him not to tell you."

"Traitor" Jake said furrowing his eyebrows. "I'm just confused on how that happened? We always use condoms."

"I was thinking that too, until I remembered that night on Gina's birthday that we got really drunk and had sex on the bar's bathroom." You said and he agreed, both smiling at the memory quickly coming back to the moment. "I am so scared. We're not even together and I..."

"Wait, that's what is troubling you?" Jake said feeling his hands shaking and his heart beating incredibly fast. "(Y/N) I like you ok? For a long time now. I just didn't think you were ready yet for a relationship, I was respecting your time. But oh god, I'm so in love with you it hurts. Of course it's not the perfect scenario, but we gonna make this work, I won't leave you to take care of this baby alone."

He said sincerely looking in your eyes and you nodded feeling some tears starting to fall down, you hugged him tight feeling his strong grip on you. Jake kissed your forehead, rubbing your back to calm you down.

"I'm in love with you too Jake, so much, I want this to work out." You said softly into his neck.

"It will." He said giving a slow chaste kiss. You stayed hugged for a few minutes but suddenly he gasped and started to hyperventilate. "Holy shit! I'm going to be a dad. What if i can not be a good dad because mine abandoned me when I was little? I'm going to be a dad."

"Hey" You said to drag his attention back to you, watching his wide eyes staring at the horizon. You knew it was your time to calm him down. "You're going to be a great dad. You are already proving this to me by not letting me be alone. We will work this out remember?"

"Yeah..." He sighed feeling calmer looking into your eyes. "We will work this out."

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usergreenpixel · 3 years

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JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 1: La Seine no Hoshi (1975)

1. Introduction

Well, dear reader, here it is. My first ever official review. And, as promised, this is one of the pieces of Frev media that you have likely never heard of before.

So, without further ado, sit down, relax, grab drinks and snacks and allow me to tell you about an anime called “La Seine no Hoshi” (The Star of the Seine).

“La Seine no Hoshi” is a children’s anime series made by Studio Sunrise. It consists of 39 episodes and was originally broadcast in Japan from April 4th to December 26th of 1975.

Unlike its more famous contemporary, a manga called “Rose of Versailles” that had begun being released in 1972 and is considered a classic to this day, “La Seine no Hoshi” has stayed relatively obscure both in the world of anime and among other Frev pop culture.

Personally, the only reason why I found out about its existence was the fact that I actively seek out everything Frev-related and I just happened to stumble upon the title on an anime forum several years ago.

So far, the anime has been dubbed into Italian, French, German and Korean but there is no English or even Spanish dub so, unfortunately, people who do not speak fluent Japanese or any other aforementioned language are out of luck ( if anyone decides to make a fandub of the series, call me). That being said, the series is readily available in dubs and the original version on YouTube, which is where I ended up watching it. The French dub calls the anime “La Tulipe Noire” (The Black Tulip), which could be an homage to the movie with the same name that takes place in the same time period.

Unfortunately, while I do speak Japanese well enough to maintain a basic conversation and interact with people in casual daily situations, I’m far from fluent in the language so the version I watched was the French dub, seeing as I am majoring in French.

So, with all of this info in mind, let’s find out what the story is about and proceed to the actual review.

2. The Summary

(Note: Names of the characters in the French dub and the original version differ so I will use names from the former since that’s what I watched)

The story of “La Seine no Hoshi” revolves around a 15-year old girl called Mathilde Pasquier - a daughter of two Parisian florists who helps her parents run their flower shop and has a generally happy life.

But things begin to change when Comte de Vaudreuil, an elderly Parisian noble to whom Mathilde delivers flowers in the second episode, takes her under his wing and starts teaching her fencing for an unknown reason and generally seems to know more about her than he lets on.

Little does Mathilde know, those fencing lessons will end up coming in handy sooner than she expected. When her parents are killed by corrupt nobles, the girl teams up with Comte de Vaudreuil’s son, François, to fight against corruption as heroes of the people, all while the revolution keeps drawing near day by day and tensions in the city are at an all time high.

This is the gist of the story, dear readers, so with that out of the way, here’s the actual review:

3. The Story

Honestly, I kind of like the plot. It has a certain charm to it, like an old swashbuckling novel, of which I’ve read a lot as a kid.

The narrative of a “hero of the common folk” has been a staple in literature for centuries so some might consider the premise to be unoriginal, but I personally like this narrative more than “champion of the rich” (Looking at you, Scarlet Pimpernel) because, historically, it really was a difficult time for commoners and when times are hard people tend to need such heroes the most.

People need hope, so it’s no surprise that Mathilde and François (who already moonlights as a folk hero, The Black Tulip) become living legends thanks to their escapades.

Interestingly enough, the series also subverts a common trope of a hero seeking revenge for the death of his family. Mathilde is deeply affected by the death of her parents but she doesn’t actively seek revenge. Instead, this tragedy makes the fight and the upcoming revolution a personal matter to her and motivates her to fight corruption because she is not the only person who ended up on its receiving end.

The pacing is generally pretty good but I do wish there were less filler episodes and more of the overarching story that’s dedicated to the secret that Comte de Vaudreuil and Mathilde’s parents seem to be hiding from her and maybe it would be better if the secret in question was revealed to the audience a bit later than episode 7 or so.

However, revealing the twist early on is still an interesting narrative choice because then the main question is not what the secret itself is but rather when and how Mathilde will find out and how she will react, not to mention how it will affect the story.

That being said, even the filler episodes do drive home the point that a hero like Mathilde is needed, that nobles are generally corrupt and that something needs to change. Plus, those episodes were still enjoyable and entertaining enough for me to keep watching, which is good because usually I don’t like filler episodes much and it’s pretty easy to make them too boring.

Unfortunately, the show is affected by the common trope of the characters not growing up but I don’t usually mind that much. It also has the cliché of heroes being unrecognizable in costumes and masks, but that’s a bit of a staple in the superhero stories even today so it’s not that bothersome.

4. The Characters

It was admittedly pretty rare for a children’s show to have characters who were fleshed out enough to seem realistic and flawed, but I think this series gives its characters more development than most shows for kids did at the time.

I especially like Mathilde as a character. Sure, at first glance she seems like a typical Nice Pretty Ordinary Girl ™️ but that was a part of the appeal for me.

I am a strong believer in that a character does not need to be a blank slate or a troubled jerk to be interesting and Mathilde is neither of the above. She is essentially an ordinary girl with her own life, family, friends, personality and dreams and, unfortunately, all of that is taken away from her when her parents are killed.

Her initial reluctance to participate in the revolution is also pretty realistic as she is still trying to live her own life in peace and she made a promise to her parents to stay safe so there’s that too.

I really like the fact that the show did not give her magic powers and that she was not immediately good at fencing. François does remark that her fencing is not bad for a beginner but in those same episodes she is clearly shown making mistakes and it takes her time to upgrade from essentially François’s assistant in the heroic shenanigans to a teammate he can rely on and sees as an equal. Heck, later there’s a moment when Mathilde saves François, which is a nice tidbit of her development.

Mathilde also doesn’t have any romantic subplots, which is really rare for a female lead.

She has a childhood friend, Florent, but the two are not close romantically and they even begin to drift apart somewhat once Florent becomes invested in the revolution. François de Vaudreuil does not qualify for a love interest either - his father does take Mathilde in and adopts her after her parents are killed so François is more of an older brother than anything else.

Now, I’m not saying that romance is necessarily a bad thing but I do think that not having them is refreshing than shoehorning a romance into a story that’s not even about it. Plus most kids don’t care that much for romance to begin with so I’d say that the show only benefits from the creative decision of not setting Mathilde up with anyone.

Another interesting narrative choice I’d like to point out is the nearly complete absence of historical characters, like the revolutionaries. They do not make an appearance at all, save for Saint-Just’s cameo in one of the last episodes and, fortunately, he doesn’t get demonized. Instead, the revolutionary ideas are represented by Florent, who even joins the Jacobin Club during the story and is the one who tries to get Mathilde to become a revolutionary. Other real people, like young Napoleon and Mozart, do appear but they are also cameo characters, which does not count.

Marie-Antoinette and Louis XVI are exceptions to the rule.

(Spoiler alert!)

Marie-Antoinette is portrayed as kind of spoiled and out of touch. Her spending habits get touched on too but she is not a malicious person at heart. She is simply flawed. She becomes especially important to the story later on when Mathilde finds out the secret that has been hidden from her for her entire life.

As it turns out, Marie- Antoinette, the same queen Mathilde hated so much, is the girl’s older half-sister and Mathilde is an illegitimate daughter of the Austrian king and an opera singer, given to a childless couple of florists to be raised in secret so that her identity can be protected.

The way Marie-Antoinette and Mathilde are related and their further interactions end up providing an interesting inner conflict for Mathilde as now she needs to reconcile this relationship with her sister and her hatred for the corruption filling Versailles.

The characters are not actively glorified or demonized for the most part and each side has a fair share of sympathetic characters but the anime doesn’t shy away from showing the dark sides of the revolution either, unlike some other shows that tackle history (*cough* Liberty’s Kids comes to mind *cough*).

All in all, pretty interesting characters and the way they develop is quite realistic too, even if they could’ve been more fleshed out in my opinion.

5. The Voice Acting

Pretty solid. No real complaints here. I’d say that the dub actors did a good job.

6. The Setting

I really like the pastel and simple color scheme of Paris and its contrast with the brighter palette of Versailles. It really drives home the contrast between these two worlds.

The character designs are pretty realistic, simple and pleasant to watch. No eyesores like neon colors and overly cutesy anime girls with giant tiddies here and that’s a big plus in my book.

7. The Conclusion

Like I said, the show is not available in English and those who are able to watch it might find it a bit cliché but, while it’s definitely not perfect. I actually quite like it for its interesting concept, fairly realistic characters and a complex view of the French Revolution. I can definitely recommend this show, if only to see what it’s all about.

Some people might find this show too childish and idealistic, but I’m not one of them.

I’m almost 21 but I still enjoy cartoons and I’m fairly idealistic because cynicism and nihilism do not equal maturity and, if not for the “silly” idealism, Frev itself wouldn’t happen so I think shows like that are necessary too, even if it’s just for escapism.

If you’re interested and want to check it out, more power to you.

Anyway, thank you for attending the first ever official meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Second meeting is coming soon so stay tuned for updates.

Have a good day, Citizens! I love you!

- Citizen Green Pixel

#review #french revolution #anime #history #television #frev media #Jacobin Fiction Convention #marie antoinette #French Revolution anime #la seine ni hoshi #la tulipe noire dessin animé #la tulipe noire

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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15.07 Thoughts

1. Y’all know I’ve been very opinionated about certain things, but my inbox has been such a perpetual onslaught that I haven’t had time to really *sit and genuinely write*

2. This is premised 100% off of an expansion on a beautiful post by @heliodean (x) -- or more, I would say that heliodean already wrote most of what I would begin to say, and very elegantly about the text, subtext, representation, visibility, canonicity, but that all as a simple underline to the growth evidenced by Dean. 2b. That is to say, that while the queer text is itself indivisible from the original text, I would like to expand on a few points that are also character-specific, and I didn’t want to kidnap a representation-leaning post to discuss only phantasmally attached affairs.

So again, @heliodean‘s post is an absolute must-read, but building aside on the discussion of Dean’s growth as expressed in the episode, I wanted to focus on some personal John-facing issues.

While helio mentioned Lee’s last advent of Dean being when he idolized John Winchester, which is very true, but I think several of their engagements -- including, yes, the queer narrative but not dependent on it -- are hugely reflecting.

Even if we take, in example, Dean, ass slaps, waitresses and Lee -- a common discussion point is for example that despite open flirtation, Dean dismisses her like she brought his burger over too well done, implicitly. She was there, literally while they talked about double dogging someone down, and despite ass slaps and flirts and posturing, she just kind of vanished into the aether, a thought to neither of them.

How this attaches to the John related issues actually requires dropping a level deeper, when you realize that while the implication is itself surface level text, the words hang instead in old canons, just reflecting at the surface; the sense of history being tangible between them is there for a reason. Even if you took the most heteronormative read on how to double-dick down an ungendered individual, that we hetly decide was female, and that the balls never touched or whatever because *big gay panic* the choice to literally bring that to center discussion after Dean implicitly seemed to forget it ever existed, or act like he didn’t want to talk about it until being charmed by the memory in particular.

Or perhaps, more realistically in the subtext to the *actual text* as expository line everybody is spinning circles on -- quite simply, there were triplets and there was a woman shared between them, but she wasn’t what he remembered. As far as Dean was concerned, there was one woman and, very quite-down-to-point, one man has was sharing. The fact that he happened to have trimmings of a spare woman as a commentary didn’t even plink his memory. *Holy shit*

-- (and let’s be real, MOST OF THIS WAS IN DIRECT TEXT TOO. The only “subtext” is the most liminal understanding that words connect to each other and sentences are usually related to the discussion at hand, but that’s about what people call subtext these days. Dean literally forgot and had to be reminded. I guess “subtext” is applying the working adult brain to figure out how the FUCK you forget who you were putting your dick in. The tryst itself, the bizarre things Dean forgot, these are all... well, text. And the rest is so narrowly subtext that someone missing it out of genuine ignorance and not petty malice and active choice/reconfiguration is pretty much contingent on someone literally not thinking at all)

I’m not gonna heavily debate textuality in this post because at this point, fandom dialogue is a helium inflated parody of itself on most of that, but like I really? Don’t give a shit? How someone tries to move the goalposts around? Seriously grab that whole scene at the table front to back, and then the stage, and show that to some random straight guy you know that doesn’t even watch the show. I’m going to tell you 99.9999% right now the first thing to come out of their mouth is “That’s fuckin gay” or some variation of it into various fields of PC-facing culture. The hilarity of trying to run defense lines for them at this point is somewhere out in orbit in Alpha Centauri, bitching about a whole other solar system of shit.

But taking back to that -- that waitress, that woman that just evaporated. That was a different time. That’s when Dean wanted fodder between him and anyone else he had a deep connection with. That’s when Dean *did* womanize. Did bury himself in skin.

And frankly that’s a Dean that hasn’t existed for a long time while fandom has sat in general denial about it, or the canonicity or *sets off carousel music*

(My mood every time a young bright eyed LGBT warrior thinks they’re doing a service by dismissing, deleting or denying low-visibility LGBT text)

Mutual ass slaps and vigorous bisexual reactions be damned, Lee’s adoration OF John was even brought into text, be it the solemn vigil he held up in his service, or his textual “I’m you” to Dean, and everything old Dean might have become if things hadn’t dramatically shifted gears in his life; but something the *here* and *now* is trying to make him become.

Reaching into the alchemical stuff again, be it Silver And Gold, or Nothing Gold Can Stay, or Golden Time, or now, the monster that spits out fake gold as long as you feed it, and stop caring. The thing Chuck is trying to make them. The things -- the people -- the building treasures in their life of Eileen, and Castiel, and yes, lost several episodes but not forgotten, Jack and Mary; Eileen treasure found anew, Cas a treasure lost that took the last light of his family, and Jack and Mary’s shadows, with him.

The force that broke their chain, the force that was first ready to face authority, because this was not a new battle to him; it had just been given new meaning, many years ago, when he first faced Dean. Dean echoes the broken despair Cas once saw life as from angelic roost, and Cas stands instead for every lesson Humanity taught him, and continues the fight, and walks away from a toxic vortex of destruction drilled and doubled down on by Chuck’s purposeful machinations -- machinations Dean convinced him to break from long ago, but the man that the angel fell for is not who he is now; the fire he gained from Mary went out in her death into the dark and obsessive and introverted blackened side of John Winchester, not the one that, taking his wife’s hand, disappeared into gold.

(Don’t even get me started on the recurrence of this exact shot in Dabb’s SPN, we’ll end up in a whole other aside.)

“Nothing Gold Can Stay.” This is the lesson Chuck has been trying to force down their throats alongside murder suicide. It is our target subversion, but--

This episode fundamentally *exists* to just *put Dean Winchester’s growth into perspective*. Be that textually affirmative bisexuality (regardless of if it’s visible enough for everyone’s taste, which I hold in bizarre levels of wtf question/suspicion), or about the boy of vices and basically casual misogyny and grim habit that has grown into a man that -- while he may remember it fondly with crinkles in the corner of his eyes, he doesn’t flit it to whatever filler is in the seats between them, but to that old “friend” that, you know. *jazz hands*

About his fight with resignation that has griefed him since his first demon deal, and of self worth, and of what he has learned, and of what he will deep down never let anyone take away, even if he’s made to question it.

(Dabb on 14.13 Lebanon and the lessons imbued)

This episode??? Like??? Jeremy Adams didn’t blow me out of the water. I jettisoned somewhere into another galaxy or some shit. Here I am holding tentative resignation about how bad the new (presumed) straight white male author on crew is gonna do while looking at history, but giving benefit of the doubt, making a few jokes??? And then it’s like HELLO YES ALL OF THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. WHAT KIND OF FIRST EPISODE BLACK MAGIC? THAT WAS A BOBO LEVEL FIRST EPISODE.

Oh my god.

I mean, I’m sure we all saw it coming, like deadass you all know I’m not a genius for saying and expecting -- Dean, lessons learned and remorseful from these last few misadventures, coming in to want to talk to Cas, who has had no such giving and keeps his focus on the target, outside of his perceivably crumbled relationship. Like, expecting this is about as simple as expecting them to fight monsters, or Sam and Dean disagreeing over a method/plan.

But as unsurprising as it is, it held weight and value, after the episode -- as given in my addition to the original referenced link -- spent its entire time framing loss of best friends, empty space, the ramifications of turning one’s back, and knowing gold when you have it and what’s worth fighting for.

Now, to fall back to touching on the textuality topic: I thank 15.07 for the display of performative absurdity. It’s not the first episode to rip open and expose fandom’s dirty underbelly and intersectional marginalization forces wearing an LGBT Activism Suit -- 14.03 also did so loudly by Bobo (eg read: “The Problem with Dreamhunter” [A post that points out what people will accept for canonization when there isn't a rival ship or excessive projection of antis specific to a ship which is *SPOILER ALERT* nowhere near what everyone pretends is needed when they want to argue just to argue and some intersectional WLW vs MLM issues]) -- but it was the first to approach it directly with Dean, much less so textually.

The ridiculous redefinition of words, of “what *I* think canon means” whipped completely out of fandom generated buzz and no dictionary on the face of the planet -- the demands, and the active erasure of existing LGBT text because it wasn’t *visible enough* -- really does show a seedy side of fandom that wears a nice Representation Warrior dress sometimes, but betrays a series of issues:

Most points boil down to “I won’t acknowledge any text unless it is loud enough to argue down any idiot I ever meet”, putting the focus not on representative resonance and value of quality of text, but on personal vindication for raw argumentation. A world where trolls and their personal agendas have actually taken *greater importance* to people than the representative text, and is an absolutely abysmal motivation or bottom line for any discussion and yes, if you recoiled and feel ashamed or called out about that, rather than patching over your pride and doubling down, maybe skim the reblog tags bisexual people have left on my several dozen posts about the damages of them being actively deleted is doing.

If you care about representation, you’ll think about that. Even if it’s not the loudly visible version of representation you *want*, it is what it is, and well--it is. Pretty simply. There is no perfect fantasy world where everybody understands and wants the thing you do. And I’m not just talking about LGBT rep. I’m talking about the people you pretend to need to argue gay canon with still being absolutely flummoxed by canon itself, like them saying “family don’t end with blood” and “found family” are “fanon concepts”. People that are confused where demons go when they die. People that rebuke literally many-times textualized non-gay things just to suit their personal agenda. And shockingly, they have a personal agenda about the gay content too.

I’m talking about straight pairings like mulder and scully that got no romo’ed around even after they kissed and got pregnant and the whole nine, because bawww that’s not what the show is about so *allow me to build elaborate theories that make no sense and pretend they have standing in canon equal to the straightforward read*.

Cuz that’s where we’re at right now. Our fandom is just particularly bonky, and has been allowed to go so far off the edge of the map and away from center GA-resonant discussion that the bog standard antis have literally come up with body-mutilating necrophilia as an answer to avoid the gay, and somehow... *shruuuuug?* people act like these people not only are of equal worth but like... deserve... any consideration long term? Which is when we lean into the next point on MOTIVATION.

So ask at what point arguing with tinhats beat out your actual interest in representation and LGBT rights and media issues. Ask at what point you surrendered your focus on feeling resonant with a character that has been textually acknowledged, and traded that for implying you suddenly can’t relate to the character until he performs [X] exact function, exactly how you want, and when you want. Hell, I have even gotten an anon that literally said they would have acknowledged it if SPN had given them what they want when they wanted-- so basically, too late, not enough.

That’s not how text works. Whether the text came ten years ago or now, the text is the text. Your personal fulfillment aside, text is text. And I highly urge people to stop demanding tokenism above demographic-targeted representative types (eg bisexual, raised in the 80s in a patriarchal/power/grit based society and its own associated dogmas, fairly masculine identity, and so on) or demanding characters perform as if they were from another demographic (be it age or gender) because that’s your demographic.

Once you start removing elements of the represented demographics (LGBT, male, age, origin, etc) and wanting it to perform by way of *your* demographic’s behaviors or base line needs/wants, that’s when we’ve left representation. That’s when we’re demanding tokenization. And when you’re demanding tokenization to win internet fights with people who don’t even believe what they say, you have long left the representation wheelhouse. That’s what we call troll wars.

Do not let LGBT media representation be kidnapped into troll wars. Do not let content be degraded or removed just to engage in troll wars. And if you want to engage in troll wars, and you value the arguments more than the discussion *of* representation intersectional issues, and methods, and all around it -- then just... stop. Stop saying you want representation. Don’t.

I’m tired.

#supernatural #spn #meta #my meta #pagan life #gold #alchemy #hermeticism #jeremy adams #15.07 #dean winchester #mine

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jclie · 4 years

Text

— && guests may mistake me as ( elizabeth olsen ), but really i am ( jolie madison + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 7/29/1992 ). i am a ( musician ) and would like to stay in suite ( 314 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( driven, audacious, & charismatic ), but i can also be ( perfectionistic, reticent & self-sabotaging ) at times. personally, i like to ( paint, hike, try new recipes & sing karaoke ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( chai sugar cookies ) to have in my suite.

hi everyone! i’m red, and the only excuse i have for this dropping so late is that Work Sucks and has held me up, but i am here and ready to love u all! rlly, what better to do with the remaining bits of summer ( and being awake, tbh ) than join this super cute group and put my intro post together? so yes, here is the 411 on jolie, with a more *~cohesive~* bio and stats page on their way — i am so excited to get to know all of your muses and begin interacting! i promise i do not bite so if you’re feeling brave, pop over in the ims, or, just wait me out, because i’m sure i’ll be appearing in them soon enough :~)

general info

full name: jolie drew madison

nicknames: j, jo, jojo (calling her this is a bit of a death sentence unless you have explicit permission), mads

date of birth: july twenty-ninth, 1992 (27)

zodiac: leo

sexual orientation: bisexual

birthplace: chicago, illinois

occupation: musician

hogwarts house: slytherin

mbti: enfj

suite #: 314

tw: drug use

past

born on a wednesday in chicago, illinois to a set of parents who had a very “informal” relationship to say the least — to make a complicated situation as cut and dry as possible, jolie’s parents were best friends with benefits. her mom wound up pregnant and decided to keep the baby. instead of jumping to some rash decision like getting married solely for the sake of their child, they decided to simply remain friends and split custody in the best way they knew how that didn’t require a mediator in the form of a family court judge. her parents remained close friends (and still are) once jolie was born; custody was weirdly split with jolie spending the majority of her time with her mom. they were an unconventional sort of family but a family nonetheless. dad does something with numbers (yes, think chandler bing), and mom is a local business owner.

as a kid, jolie never knew a stranger, and therefore had no trouble making friends once she hit school age. she was the kid who never found her niche group or “clique” because her feet were wet in several of them. school was not a miserable time for her. she had her friends, was a solid a/b student. jolie was a big perfectionist though, it not uncommon for her to beat herself up over something incredibly minute and self-sabotaging herself as punishment or because she didn’t know how to adequately process her feelings of anxiousness — she’d procrastinate, cut people off or drive them away, things of that nature.

music was always in her life, but it was a very casual thing in her world, situated on a backburner. it was something that she was able to bond over with her dad more so than her mom; her dad was a massive music junkie, loved sharing his favorite songs with her, bought her her first vinyl player when she was twelve and supplied her with every album under the sun, whether it was one she wanted or one of his favorites or just one he thought she might enjoy. she was in dance classes as a preschooler (this was an epic fail, because not even her rhythm could save her from the generally awkward disaster she is whenever she dances) and took piano lessons in elementary school, but she didn’t love either? she felt very restricted when it came to formal lessons, and almost needed the freedom to explore and learn it on her own terms — she ended up teaching herself guitar on her dad’s guitar on the weekends she spent at his place. there was also the 6 month stint her junior year of high school when she and some friends started a garage band (which jolie represses to a certain degree because the embarrassment it invokes is on another level) but it was mostly just an idea formulated from boredom and was something to pass the time, nothing really serious.

jolie found herself at a bit of a crossroads after her graduation. most of her friends were off to college but college did not seem like the kind of environment for her. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with herself or her life, but she knew she had to do something. so she pretty much copied and pasted what one of her close friends was doing at the time, decided to go to northwestern and share an apartment with her and pray that something would speak to her along the way. spoiler alert: nothing did. her first year quickly fizzled and faded for her and most of her time was spent going to parties, embracing the social scene, the like. nothing of real educational value.

she was still fucking around when it came to music; she’d met some people in one of her creative writing classes (the only class that she legitimately finished and enjoyed) and would go to open mic nights or other gigs around town. never meeting a stranger meant jolie was good at networking, making friends with other musicians — the more she spent time immersed in the world, the more she felt compelled towards music. she began writing songs that weren’t just the product of teenage angst (see: that awful high school band), even took a few music classes at northwestern.

by the time she hit her junior year, she was over classes and was pretty much only taking filler classes still, wasting her money while she bar tended at one of the bars close by. but she’d never felt more creatively charged; she was putting her nose to the grindstone in writing songs, recording songs in her bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her roommates, playing gigs on her nights off work literally anywhere that would take her, and using those new-er friendships to her advantage. she had gained some local traction but things really didn’t explode until she started posting original songs online and got contacted by a few record labels. jolie was hesitant to sign with anyone but she got one of her friends in pre-law to help her look over contracts and pretend to be her manager and eventually signed. subsequently, she dropped out of college and went to work on the music thing full time.

from 21-23, jolie was pretty much doing nothing but playing festivals and clocking in hours at studios. most of her time was spent on the road and she absolutely loved it — she loved the music festival atmosphere, loved the crowds, loved meeting other bands and fans. she was pretty much touring on the few songs she had released, covers, and unreleased tracks from a wip, but it worked for her and it worked for the fans. she released her first album, ultraviolet on her 23rd birthday, and hit the road again.

jolie missed her “college” life with the parties and socialization at her fingertips, so she started elbowing her way into that scene while she was on tour — at first, it wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, but jolie’s limits were very fluid. being on tour was draining and the perfectionist in her would always find something to berate herself about, and getting out of her head was the only way that she felt she could truly enjoy the whirlwind success that was happening to her. the drugs started as a one-time thing, just to try it, and then she was using regularly, and then it got to a point where she couldn’t go more than an hour without a line of coke. the drugs stripped away a lot of what made her jolie and left her with a more miserable, grouchier version of herself where her highs were almost normal and likable and the lows were hell to be around.

she came off of ultraviolet’s tour and essentially jumped right back into the studio (she was beginning to break through in mainstream music, with her last promotional single off ultraviolet hitting mainstream radio and doing fairly well) for album #2. it was finished and ready to go, but by that point, the drug use had gotten to an all-time high and the constant turning a blind eye to it from her team was no longer possible. she ended up od’ing and that was it — there was an intervention in the hospital room, and it was off to rehab for jolie. album got postponed and she basically fell off the radar.

she didn’t really make a “comeback” until she was knocking on 26′s doorstep, and by that point she’d been in rehab, getting sober, and then laying low for nearly two years. by the time she was releasing her first single for the new album cycle, she’d all but scrapped the record she’d made before rehab and had something else put together entirely. she released wonderland, which did very, very well. she toured for it and it was wildly different than anything she’d done prior — venues were bigger, more fans, just a whole different circus all around.

probably the one thing she was more proud of than the music was her sobriety, and going on two years of being sober, not much else was important to her. she knew had a pretty black and white view of was good for her and what wasn’t, so after the tour wrapped, she decided to come home. she never pegged herself for the type to get “homesick” because her spirit was very much the wandering type, but she knew she needed to get out of la and nyc. back to chicago it was — which is how we get to the malnati.

present

she’s in what she’d aptly describe as “professional limbo” — she’s not actively working on any one project, she’s just kind of floating until she can find something to tether herself to, whether it’s a single song or an album or something else that appears on her radar. she’s just taking things easy for the time being.

career wise, think marina, l*na — more of a cult favorite than a mainstream artist. not going to get mobbed when she goes out and about, able to fly under the radar for the most part. as far as her music goes, i don’t necessarily know if i’ll claim any one artist’s discography and adopt as her own; in my head, jolie’s alt pop. think somewhere along the lines of hayley williams, st. vincent, tove lo, splash of the 1975.

personality wise at this point in her life: will charm the pants off of just about anyone she comes into contact with. flirty. a little goofy, hella sarcastic. there’s method to her madness even if no one else gets it. is still a little guarded when it comes to talking about herself. doesn’t mind talking about what’s happened to her but when it comes to the feelings and emotions as to why those things happened, she shuts down. it’s why she’s a musician: why talk about your feelings when you could just write them into a song and pretend they don’t exist beyond that, lmao. is the passive aggressive type, bottles things up and simmers.

being in the kitchen and cooking has been a tactile sort of therapy for her, especially in her hiatus years. she loves trying new recipes, baking at random (all) hours, sometimes likes to pretend she’s on an episode of master chef. she’s a dork, your honor.

has a thing for polaroids. she has a blank moleskine notebook that she has put through a total ringer, gluing polaroids and other little mementos onto pages as a journal of sorts.

has a stick and poke tattoo (among other professional ones) on her ribcage that she gave herself when she was sixteen. it’s a tiny smiley face.

her middle name came from her dad’s middle name (andrew).

if you want someone to go out with you at night (or during the day, she’s not picky) and just aimlessly wander around the city, letting things find you, she’s your girl. she loves a good adventure.

i headcanon jolie as predominantly dirty blonde/brunette lizzie? but she is also the type who has ruined her hair over the years over all the impromptu dying so... welcome to close your eyes and pretend hour.

plot ideas

this is by no means a comprehensive list of plots, just stuff off the top of my head that i’d like to see? again, i promise i don’t bite, so pls hmu if one of these appeals to you or if you just wanna brainstorm, i live for that shit!!

jolie’s a chicago native, went to college here, so 👀

meredith to her cristina — basically her best friend (not gender specific, either) who tells it to jolie like it is, doesn’t mind if she laments about how the world sucks every now and again, the person she’s calling if she needs help with a body

physically and/or emotionally, somebody who checks in on jolie and that she checks in on as well. we love a solid support system

exes — jolie’s a little bit (a lot of bit) of a player?? so i’d love to see exes that maybe didn’t end too hot, ex fwb or ex flings that never made it official, people she ghosted, exes that don’t want to get back together but don’t like seeing each other with anyone else, anything under that sun

jolie also is a Lowkey (read: highkey) commitment-phobe, but i’d rlly love for her to maybe have an ex that she was so In Love with that she was willing to push through it bc she saw herself with them forever..... and then, for reasons tbd, it ended, and it absolutely crushed jolie

someone who, on the occasion of needing to scratch an itch, is very good about getting the job done. it’s casual sex. there are zero romantic feelings involved, there is no getting jealous when the other person finds a relationship, the two are just good friends who have seen (and will probably continue to see) each other naked #yeehaw

maybe someone who was at one of jolie’s gigs when she was still playing bars that she bought a drink and kept in touch with or smth? or someone she met when she was still predominately playing small sets at festivals? idk i’m rambling someone stop me

a “muse”??? like, someone jolie is fascinated with / inspired by and she finds herself writing songs about / for

gimme someone who’s like an acquaintance at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing with one another for whatever reason (they both probably annoy each other) but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise

jolie is a night owl, so... gimme someone who she can turn up at their room at some unholy hour (or that turns up at her room at said unholy hour) and watch a movie with or make a mess of the kitchen from fixing a premature breakfast

maybe someone who knew jolie when she was not in a good place?? and things are still v much tense / unresolved between them for whatever reason

and stuff for the event omg PLS *makes grabby hands*

#malnatiintro #malnatiooc #drugs tw #tw drugs #not sure what to tag so here's ALL the tags lmao

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crowned-ladybug · 4 years

Text

So I said I wanted to see demon AUs that aren’t smut and that I sadly don’t have the energy to make my own rn, and then I went ahead and accidentally made one anyway

So here’s some incomplete notes on it. It’s 2.7k words. I’m so sorry.

Local dumbass heir to the throne (Joseph) doesn’t Wanna be a heir to the throne bc it’s Boring he’s always wanted to be an Adventurer but here he is anyway. Then one night he gets drunk off his ass and manages to?? accidentally summon a demon??? in his friend’s Magic Lab???

(The friend is Avdol and he’s v v tired of Joseph’s shit)

fuckin Joseph made a drunk deal with a demon who Absolutely saw nothing against making a deal with the royal heir currently drunk off his ass bc hey, free deal

luckily the deal wasn’t for Joseph’s soul or firstborn child or half his kingdom or whatever. Instead the deal is a magical bond between Joseph and the demon that allows the demon to share in Joseph’s life energy/general basic human magic and thus be able to exist in the human world in a stable form without having to go home to rest every once in a while or having to maintain like ten spells Just In Case

the demon is doing this whole deal thing bc 1) he Has to, it’s kind of his Job and 2) he’s looking for vengance on a gang of demon hunters who have killed his family but since they’re human, he needs a way into the human world for a longer term to be able to hunt them down

the demon is Caesar in case you haven’t figured that out yet

Joseph is a lot less concerned about having made a deal with a Literal Demon than he should be. He thinks it’s p hilarious actually and Caesar immediately starts having regrets (he’d bond with Avdol over it if he were willing to lower himself to the level of Measly Mortals)

the fun thing is that bc he’s tied to Joseph magically to allow him to freely exist in the human world, Caesar can’t get out of a few mile radius of him, which kinda makes his plans to hunt down the demon hunters (*cough* Pillar Men *cough*) a lot harder and Joseph even more annoying to deal with

the logical solution to that is to pass Caesar off as a servant Joseph befriends, so that he can stay in the castle, and then eventually they can go off on some adventure together to defeat the Pillar Men (or, well, so that Caesar can defeat the Pillar Men while keeping Joseph at arm’s length) which would also mean that Joseph can Finally get his big adventure he’s been dreaming about

then Joseph gets the genius idea to kill even More birds with one stone and decides that Caesar should pretend to be his bf bc all the annoying ass nobles and shit won’t leave him alone about not having a partner and “oh no, you’re of age now, what will happen if you have to take the throne but have no queen by your side?” and everyone keeps trying to woo him and it was fun at first but now it’s just goddamn Tiring

Caesar agrees to it eventually bc Anything as long as Joseph lets him do his research on the Pillar Men in peace. He doesn’t really realise what fake-dating the annoying bastard entails until he’s already too deep into it and he kinda literally can’t go back on his promises to Joseph, being a contract-bound demon

(Caesar looks like a proper demon normally but he Can disguise himself as p much entirely human-looking if he needs to. It takes energy tho, so he reverts back to his demonic looks whenever he’s safe from prying eyes, or if he’s unconscious)

they’re essentially fake-married for magic tax benefits it’s so great

there’s Definitely some Magic Soulbond Shenanigans along the line of “if one gets hurt the other also feels it”

they find out that Caesar reverts to his demonic form when asleep when he pulls two all-nighters in a row looking for information on the Pillar Men and passes out in Avdol’s study, scaring the shit out of poor Avdol. After that they manage to land a room for him in the castle with some lie about him having travelled here from faraway lands (technically true) and having nowhere else to stay (also technically true), but he also spends a lot of his time in Avdol’s study and Joseph’s room without his disguise, solely for convenience’s sake

they ofc have to fool Everyone with the fake dating, including Joseph’s family, bc No One else can know that Caesar is a demon on a quest for vengeance. The worst, most unexpected part for Caesar is that Queen Erina and Lord Speedwagon actually seem to like him?? they’re just genuinely nice to him??? simply bc he’s around Joseph and bc they find him likeable??? he did Not expect Anyone to be nice to him in the human world, what the Fuck, he doesn’t know how to Deal With That

Suzi is Technically a servant but she’s been Joseph’s friend since they were lil kids so she was essentially raised alongside him and they’re best friends and Suzi can only keep Joseph out of dumb shit like half the time bc the other half she’s right there in it with him

she is Entirely unfazed by Caesar, sees through the pretend relationship in like two minutes and knows immeditely that Something Is Up. When she accidentally catches Caesar in his demon form while checking to make sure he’s not stacking all-nighters again, she doesn’t even bat an eye (meanwhile Caesar’s thoughts are entirely “oh fuck do I have to kill her now, Joseph’s gonna kill me if I do, oh fuck, oh fuck”) just tells him to go to sleep on time and then leaves (to call Joseph out on getting himself into even deeper shit than she’d originally thought)

look idk what he does or what relevance he ends up having to the plot but Polnareff is also there, he’s a dumbass knight who’s the reason Joseph knows how to Not fight properly (bc Polnareff has a shitton of dumb tricks and Joseph knows all of them) and has a giant crush on Avdol

god there’s just. A Shitton of dumb shenanigans during their time in the castle, both with the fake-dating (like having to teach Caesar proper royal etiquette and him getting Very confused and flustered when Joseph casually flirts with him) and with hiding Caesar being a demon (they have so many stupid close calls and make so many dumb decisions they Really Shouldn’t, it’s great)

when the time comes to go and find and kill the Pillar Men, it’s only Caesar and Joseph going bc Caesar doesn’t want any more ppl in this mission than absolutely necessary, totally not bc they’re his friends and he worries about them or anything

they get some tips on where to look and how to get there from this weird adventurer dude who passes through the castle on his travels every once in a while. Joseph’s only met him in passing but he thinks he seems fun and has his own dumbass theory that he’s totally some runaway royalty or something. Instead turns out that the dude is half demon and actually related to Caesar and Caesar, being an orphan and all, had thought finding a remaining member of his family would be Way more thrilling but no this dude is just as weird and annoying as Joseph so he’d like a refund pls

(the dude’s Gyro. Ofc it’s fuckin Gyro. Johnny’s there too somewhere I just haven’t figured that out yet. He might actually be the top horse trainer/caretaker/whatever of the castle and the True reason Gyro travels this way every time is bc he’s smitten as hell)

while Gyro gives them some advice he also tells them that hey. Maybe you shouldn’t do this?? esp not just the two of you??? Considering the Pillar Men are known to be ruthless and Very good at killing demons

ofc these idiots Don’t Listen and go after them together anyway

the plan technically is that Joseph stays a safe distance away while Caesar goes and fights the Pillar Men and Totally wins but like. ofc he doesn’t listen and refuses to stay on his ass and let Caesar leave so they go in together anyway

they manage to find Santana alone and Actually Kill Him but it’s a close one, much tougher than anticipated bc as I said before, these dudes are Really Good at killing demons and also just killing in general. It’s also when Caesar realises the full scope of the “if one gets hurt, the other also feels it” part of his bond with Joseph bc Joseph gets hurt worse during the battle and Caesar is so shocked by his own reaction to it that he’s frozen for a moment and it almost costs him his life

that night when they’re camping out after the battle, Joseph reveals that a long while ago he figured out how to break their magic bond without it hurting either of them or sending Caesar right back to his own world. it’s some old spell he found in one of Avdol’s books or something, idk, and at first he’d kept it hidden from Everyone bc he was starting to really like Caesar but knew that Caesar was only around him out of necessity (not true actually but Caesar hid and denied his growing fondness for v v long) and he didn’t want him to leave the moment he realised he Could, even if it was v v selfish of him and he feels like shit about it now. And then later on when it turned out that they’re gonna see this quest through together anyway, he figured it didn’t matter anymore and so he kinda just forgot about it

but he’s remembered it again before they left and packed what he needs for it as a grim Just In Case (and it may or may not be a weird red gem bc yknow, but idk yet) and now he offers to break the bond already bc of how him getting hurt almost got Caesar killed. But Caesar tells him not to, bc it doesn’t matter now and a spell like that would probably take a lot of energy out of both of them when they need everything they’ve got for the upcoming battles

in reality he doesn’t want the bond broken bc it makes him feel like he’s got a right and a reason to stay, without having to fully face just how much he cares about Joseph, and bc it makes sure that Joseph is never far from him and lets him know if he’s hurt and maybe like this he can somehow protect him from getting hurt again

spoiler alert: he can’t

the fight with the other three Pillar Men doesn’t go their way at all. I mean it’s 3 vs 2 and the 3 are Very Good at killing so it should be Expected, but they’re young and dumb and Caesar is stubborn and still thirsting for revenge and if Joseph can’t hold him back then at least he can stay with him

they both get badly hurt and when it looks like it’s just it for both of them, Joseph brings out that spell again and breaks their bond before Caesar could tell him to stop and tells Caesar to run, to get away and don’t even fucking look back, just Go. When Caesar tries to object, Joseph tells him that he’s not dying just so Caesar can get himself killed too and Caesar is too scared to do anything but listen and run as Joseph leaves himself no escape and takes another two of the Pillar Men down with him before Caesar could figure out a way to save him

Joseph survives, Somehow, minus a hand anyway. He wakes up again in his own room in the castle and he has No Idea how he got back or who even found him and his best guess is that Gyro and Johnny have followed them and lbr Avdol’s magic has probably had a part to play in it too

and Caesar is just. Gone. Separated from Joseph and already weak from the fight, he didn’t have enough magic left to remain in the human world for long and thus got pulled back into his own world, and being just a normal demon, he can’t even cross back over without being summoned. But Joseph doesn’t know any of that, he just knows that Caesar is Gone and he strongly doubts he’s coming back bc he hasn’t already and he’s p damn heartbroken about it

meanwhile Caesar isn’t having much better of a time in his own world either. Bc nothing went well, Nothing, but he realises that he doesn’t even care about his revenge plan anymore, he doesn’t care about hunting Kars down and avenging his family. But he’s just lost the only family he’s had Again, the ppl in the castle this time, and he’s stuck here without any way back unless someone accidentally summons him again, and for what he knows Joseph had died to save him and Caesar didn’t even get to say goodbye or bury him

this v shitty state lasts until Joseph’s desperation + a lil nudge from Avdol and Suzi gets him to try summoning Caesar again (bc Joseph decides that if he gets no response at all, if the spell fails, it means Caesar’s really just Gone and he hadn’t made it out alive after all, but having definite knowledge of that will still be better than just Not Knowing and hoping for the rest of his life)

Avdol lets him take his study all to himself and so Joseph settles in during the afternoon and gets to finding the spell which is Not Easy bc he’d been drunk off his ass when he’d first found and performed it. He’s starting to lose hope and think that maybe the spell doesn’t even Exist in Avdol’s books, he’d just butchered a completely different spell and that’s how he got to Caesar, when he Finally finds it, and it’s almost midnight at that point and he’s Exhausted and Scared and Sad and he just Wants This To Work

the spell asks for an offering for the demon’s services, and the first time around Joseph had said something like “idk name your price” which is how Caesar had got the bond he needed (tho Joseph doesn’t actually remember this)

this time he just says “anything” which is a p dumb thing to offer when making a deal with a Literal Demon but he doesn’t care, this is Caesar, he trusts him and he loves him and he’d damn right give anything to just know that he’s okay and maybe get to see him again

and the spell Works it fuckin Works even if it takes a moment and there’s a flash of light and then suddenly there’s Caesar, sitting on the ground in Avdol’s study in all his demonic glory, blinking as his eyes adjust to the dim light and until he sees Joseph sitting on the ground in front of him, crying. And from then on it’s just a big “i thought I lost you” reunion moment that’s so happy it Hurts. They stay sitting on the floor for Hours despite it being late at night, just pressed together and talking about anything and just enjoying each others presence bc they’ve missed each other and thought they’d never see each other again

the next morning Avdol finds them sitting against the wall in a pile and fast asleep and decides to take the day off and goes to find Suzi and Polnareff to tell them the news

idk where the rest of the plot goes yet bc Kars is still out there and Erina and Speedwagon still don’t know about the whole demon thing but have this for now

#jjba #caejose #joseph joestar #caesar zeppeli #mohammad avdol #suzi quatro #polnareff and the pillar men are also there but not enough to ba tagged sorry #also gyro and johnny yeah them too #I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS IT JUST HAPPENED #my mind went ''heir of dumbass Joseph accidentally summons a demon but it's mostly just fake-dating'' and then this happened??#ill add a tag for this au once i figure one out bc i guess now i need that too huh #goddamnit #demon au

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nagatsukinura119 · 6 years

Text

Analysis on Touko’s obsession to be Mio and her relationship with Yuu [Yagate Kimi ni Naru]

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An extremely lengthy post. Spoilers alert. You have been warned.

Well, for starters, YagaKimi is a one-of-a-kind manga, for me at least. Because this is the first time I read a manga that focuses in romance, but the main character is an aromantic, meaning someone who doesn’t experience any romantic feelings. Many yuri manga/manhwa I read so far are very “physical”, or at least very quick to become “physical” and let’s just say, overdramatic, or just too happy and easy-going. Even if there were some milder drama, the drama is too common like, the struggles of being in a homosexual relationship such as being afraid of being judged by family and friends, . And there’s also another common drama like a very uptight family or love triangles that prevent some relationships to bloom. I get that these problems are real but they’re becoming bland due to being overused.

Let’s also talk about the art first. YagaKimi has one of the best art styles I’ve ever seen in yuri manga. While I also like Citrus’ art style, YagaKimi’s art style has a sense of innocence and more diversity in terms of the setting. In the manga, we get to see different types of settings, ranging from the school, Yuu and Touko’s houses, the camp, the aquarium, and the fateful train road railway. By being exposed to the world of the manga, we can feel more connected to the story, which I think Citrus kind of lacks. And when it comes to the character designs, I can’t help but adore the way they are drawn. While most characters’ face shapes and hairstyles/colors are more or less the same, there are still subtle differences like some have plump cheeks and some may have narrower face shapes. There’s just something in Nakatani Nio-sensei’s style that makes me say “Awww…” and melt.

(Touko always makes my heart melt when she blushes and smiles. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH Y U SO DAMN ADORABLE!!!)

So the story mainly revolves around the main character, Koito Yuu, a freshman and a second-year student, Nanami Touko, who is a student council member. At first Touko claims that she also doesn’t feel anything when she gets confessed to. Because of this Yuu finally feels like someone is related to her. But after confessing her aromantic tendencies to Touko, Touko suddenly confesses to Yuu.

This is why I love about YagaKimi. It covers so many real things such as aromantic topics, self-loathing, and identity crisis. Not to mention the level of melancholy in the this manga is what I’ve been looking for (angst is my cup of tea!). Touko and Yuu’s relationship’s complication and trying to figure out what’s in both of their heads and predicting the ending of this manga is what makes me so invested in this series.

We’ll start with Touko first. At first glimpse, Touko appears to be your typical Student Council President-type; beautiful, kind, smart and hardworking. But it turns out this is a façade that she decided to take after her older sister, Nanami Mio, died seven years prior to the series. Throughout the series, we are told by Touko herself that when she was a kid, she was very shy, had no many friends and always hid behind someone, and to put simply; normal. Meanwhile, she saw her sister as the perfect role model, both at home and school. After Mio died, she was told by people to live for Mio’s sake and be like her. For the 9-year old Touko, who was clearly still in shock over the loss of her beloved sister, these words clearly changed her and from here she decided to stop being a nobody and then she thrived to BE Mio.

(A flashback of Mio that greatly resembles the current Touko)

In reality, Touko is still a timid person who would shake when she gets nervous enough. However, in order to not disappoint people who have high expectations from her, and to not destroy the image that she has built over the years, she keeps putting on the mask of the ‘perfect’ Touko. While most people may think that she wants to be Mio in order to be a somebody, I think there’s a more story behind it. In a dream that Touko saw, she remembers the day when Mio was about to get killed in a traffic accident. In that dream, we get to see that while the sisters were chilling in the family living room, their mother asked Touko to buy a drink (or sauce). Acting like a regular child, Touko didn’t want to go so she and Mio decided to play rock-paper-scissors game. Mio lost which resulted her to go instead. Later Touko woke from her nap because of a constant bell ring, impending the news that Mio got into an accident. This implies that Mio died because of Touko. And I believe that Touko knows this. Out of guilt, she decides to replace Mio who was beloved and admired by everyone. At the same time, she can get rid of her own identity. Touko claims that she hates herself and I think her self-loathing began when she realized that Mio died because of her selfishness. So that covers Touko’s obsession to be someone else besides herself.

Why Touko falls in love with Yuu was a very big question mark to me. Why Yuu, and why now? In Touko’s mind, she wants to be special to everyone because that’s when people praise her. But when people start to confess to her by saying something like, “I love that about you” which translates to her, “If you stop being like this, I won’t love you anymore”. Automatically she feels that if she stops wearing the ‘perfect’ mask, anyone who confesses to her would be disappointed with the real her who is a nobody. We covered from the first chapter that Yuu just can’t feel excited over romantic confessions. It’s not that she’s willingly disinterested, she just can’t and doesn’t know how. Because of this, she can’t find anyone special romantically. To Touko, this makes Yuu seem the nicest person because Yuu wouldn’t judge or discriminate her if she doesn’t have to wear the mask of perfection because she knows that Yuu won’t love her. One may think that Touko only sees Yuu as someone who she can vent out her feelings to, but not because of love. I can’t blame anyone for thinking this way because there is one time when she does treat Yuu like a friend with benefits (without the sex, of course). This happens in chapter 28 when Touko feels extremely stressed that she wasn’t acting like Mio perfectly and her own best friend tries to talk her out of it. She turns to Yuu and tries to kiss her for comfort. Not really a cool move there. But I think that Touko really does genuinely love Yuu. We can see it a lot of times throughout the story where we get to see how much she would do for Yuu, such as asking for a cheesecake recipe from Yuu’s sister Rei, after knowing that she loves cheesecakes, and in the same chapter we can see Touko fangirling when Rei shares a picture of Yuu sleeping (Rei is the best Touko supporter lol).

Now, onto the more complicated part of Touko and Yuu’s relationship. While Touko has made it clear that she loves Yuu to the point she just casually says “I love you” to her. This is pretty hypocritical from her side because she doesn’t want anyone to love her because the word itself acts like shackles to her. And she is doing the same thing to Yuu. In chapter 10, she tells Yuu to stay by her side, don’t fall in love with anyone else and don’t come to hate her. To put it simply, she wants Yuu to only stay with her, but don’t fall in love with her because she can’t stand with the idea that someone that she loves is in love with something that she hates: herself.

For Yuu’s part, as we progress through the story, we get to see her feelings towards Touko develop and change. At first she believes that she is only being nice to Touko simply because she’s too sympathetic to everyone, and not because she finds her special. But as the story progresses, we get to see Yuu’s way of thinking start to shake a bit. After Touko leaves her house, Yuu states she does want to fall in love with her. Right after this, she tries to tell herself that she doesn’t need to fall in love with Touko because it’s not she was lonely. But in chapter 10, her monologues have more conviction that she wants to love Touko.

But before she can even say these things to Touko, Touko tells her that she would rather die than being told that she can be just herself and she can stop from being Mio. This forces Yuu to say this:

But from these panels we can see how it hurts Yuu to say this. Because at this point, she can’t love Touko NOT because of her inability to feel romantic attractions, but more to she can’t afford to love Touko. This clearly is very painful to Yuu since she has always wanted to experience the excitement of being in love. As this scene goes on, Touko makes her promise to stay by her side without falling in love with her. Yuu knows that if she rejects, Touko would be separated from her, so she agrees to do whatever Touko tells her to do. Then in chapter 22, Yuu tries again to convince her to stop being someone else, only to face Touko’s stubbornness again. What’s interesting is that near the end of this chapter Yuu intercepts her own monologue for the first time.

Many of her monologues act more like self-assuring sentences, sentences that she tries to convince herself to believe. This can especially be seen in chapter 31 by the end of the play, Yuu’s monologue where she says Touko would be fine without her, thinking that Touko has accepted to just embrace herself, she keeps on repeating that it is a good thing. When she reads Sayaka’s line “I was special to you” and then shaking her head, to me is like her telling herself to let Touko go if Touko does learn to be herself which would mean that she feels she is no longer needed by Touko. Another example would be chapter 16, where she keeps convincing herself that the way she finds Touko’s unconditional love is nothing special and that the fast heartbeat she hears is Touko’s, and not hers. It is like implying that she denies herself that she loves Touko.

It seems that she is afraid to even admit to herself of her own feelings because she’s afraid that she would succumb to her feelings eventually. However, by the end of chapter 22, Yuu finally finds something she really desires; to change Touko. For someone like Yuu, who has always been the type of person who’d just get along with the flow, this is a life-changing thing to do. Here, we can see how Touko has changed her and she doesn’t hate it whenever they kiss or when Touko gets close to her.

While at this point Yuu and Sayaka share the aspect to not admit how they really feel to Touko because they’re afraid of how their relationship with her would change, I like the fact that unlike Sayaka, who is afraid to tell Touko that her obsession is a bad thing, Yuu wants to change Touko to stop hating herself and embrace the fact that people accept her for the way she is, and things that they do are for her, and not Mio. And we agree to this because what Touko does is self-destructive since she would be lost once she finishes what Mio couldn’t do when she was alive; the school play. Touko herself knows this as she questions herself in front of Mio’s grave.

What to predict:

At this point I can’t think of how the story is going to progress. After the play finishes, Touko tells Yuu this:

Now, I’m not so sure what this line actually means. It could mean that now that the play is over, she doesn’t have to replace Mio anymore, but her relationship with Yuu can still go on. The reason why I think this is what the line means is because of how Yuu takes the line positively as she now thinks that Touko can go on without her. And there’s also the fact that Yuu is holding the crutches that Touko used in the play. In a way, she herself has been acting like crutches for Touko. And the fact that she’s holding onto them as Touko walks away is like an allegory that Touko no longer needs her crutches aka Yuu. So perhaps there’s an incoming angst for upcoming chapters as Yuu tries to deal with being no longer needed by Touko.

While the play’s ending implies that Touko may have embraced the idea to accept her true self and stop becoming someone else, and while I think this could be an interesting turning arc for the series and development for the story, I don’t think Touko is ready to embrace herself like the character in the play. She’s just too stubborn for that and I think she still needs more push to stop her obsession. It is something that she’s done for years and it’s not going to just disappear in a snap. Also, I don’t think Touko’s going to stop relying on Yuu yet. She makes it perfectly clear that now that she knows how it feels to be in love, she’s not going to turn back. Also, when Yuu refused to kiss Touko, she looked extremely broken, like her only emotional line was snapped, and the only thing that was ‘real’ to her was rejecting her.

(Just look at how BROKEN and EMPTY she looked like after being rejected by Yuu)

#yagate kimi ni naru #analysis #nanami touko #koito yuu #yuri #bloom into you

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zealoptics · 3 years

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I want more ‘less exhausting’ vacations

Evin Harris She/Her/Hers

A lot of us in the outdoor industry spend our “vacations” sleeping in tents, taking few-to-no showers, cooking our food over a shitty stove (maybe mine is the only shitty stove), and doing activities that leave our asses chaffed, and fingertips raw. These “vacations” are not always the body-rejuvenating time that I need. Mentally, these days do wonders. Outdoor, active, dirty vacations are necessary, but what I am learning and accepting is, so are “bougie” indoor vacations. By bougie I mean access to a flushing toilet, more than one restaurant, a shower, a couch, a diverse community of people (in my case, more people who look like me), bakeries, ethnic food, the coast and DOWN TIME!

At the end of one of the busiest winter seasons I have ever experienced, I was so ready to get the heck out of Breckenridge and go be a smelly dirtbag for a week in Mohapa (what some now know as Moab) with one of my best friends, Monica. I needed it - I hadn’t had desert dirtbag time since before the pandemic. We biked, climbed and played our faces off. We were in bed by 7pm every night and up drinking coffee and looking out at the dessert by 8am. We ate good, as we always do when we camp; curry, pesto, eggs and potatoes. However, the thought of GOOD, REAL ramen was creeping into my head. Bathing in the river and in what we call “goddess pools” is one of my favorite activities - it is so rejuvenating and brings us back to ourselves. I need these naked swimming days, climbing in the sweltering heat (because we never plan the sunny crag time right), biking through what looks like mars, and finding sand in all the nooks and crannies for days afterwards.

Dirty, sandy, and spent after my time in Mohapa, I headed off to Seattle to stay with two close friends and climb Wy’east (what some know as Mt. Hood). Spoiler alert, Wy’east didn't happen. This vacation ended up being the “bougie” vacation that I needed. Due to a combo of the weather and timing, it was not going to work to summit Wy’east. After feeling bummed and discouraged for a few hours, we decided this was going to be “Evin’s City Vacay of Food and Pastries”.

... it was EVERYTHING.

I didn’t realize how much a farmer’s market and fresh bread would feed both my mind and my body. Biking to the ferry and going to Bainbridge Island, biking to a winery (way further than we thought) and splitting a bottle of wine with Mimi would be a new favorite activity of mine. Most days were planned around food. I had a new appreciation for waiting 15 minutes in line at a french bakery at Pike Place Market to get a baguette and macaroons for our casual rainy hike. Oh how I love a casual hike! We watched 22 Jump street...because we just wanted to rest, what a novel idea!

I am going to make more time for these “bougie” vacations.

There’s no doubt that we can all benefit from the “sleeping under the stars and eating peanut butter and jelly everyday” vacations. But the “showering when I need to, walking to the local bakery as the adventure for the day, and planning around good food” vacations are equally rejuvenating and perhaps even more refreshing. For some reason, I felt a little bit of self judgment when I needed some of that old-fashioned rest - and I’m here to say, that is BS. Honor what you need and take that bougie vacation when you need it.

#zealopticsfeatured

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possibleplatypus · 6 years

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HAVE SOME WORLDBUILDING for the harry potter cross-dressing tech support 3au prompt thing requested by heart mouth anon.

I wrote it so I might as well share it :P spoilers for if you haven’t read the thing.

Viktor Nikiforov

Viktor is from a very old/wealthy/influential Russian Pure-blood family that went underground when Grindelwald came into power and reemerged in Britain when the fighting was over. Historically, the family tried their best not to take sides in conflicts, which gained them enemies anyway.

When Viktor started showing remarkable magical aptitude as a child (his temper tantrums brought down literal blizzards), his parents decided to have him home-schooled from an early age instead of sending him to Hogwarts.

His parents are kind of elitist in regards to blood status but they’re not Pure-blood supremacists; they think they’re pretty much better than everyone else and view Muggles as akin to cute dogs that can do tricks, but acknowledge that some of the strongest/smartest wizards have been Half-bloods/Muggleborns. They taught Viktor not to underestimate or look down on anyone because of blood status, but still expect him to marry another Pure-blood and would probably be aghast if he married a Muggle (but they’d ultimately come around, especially if they have grandchildren).

He was pretty sheltered for most of his life, knowing only his tutors and the Aurors who protected his family; his parents; the house elves (one of whom was assigned to be his personal house elf at birth and became his closest friend); and his parents’ Pure-blood/high status guests and their children. Viktor was always charming, but in the end refused to see the other children again if they were rude to the house elves (and there were a lot of rude children), citing the need to study.

Viktor’s father wanted to groom him to eventually become Minister of Magic, but Viktor wanted something more exciting. He also wanted to be able to use his magic regularly instead of sitting at a desk all day. As Aurors protected his family and home and were dashing figures of heroism, he decided to pursue that route. His parents objected because of the danger inherent in the profession. When shown photos and told stories of what Aurors had to go through, Viktor was admittedly shaken. But after giving it some thought, he decided to become an Auror anyway– he knew he was strong, and would get stronger with practice. Why not use that strength to benefit the world (and escape his parents’ expectations)? He also pointed out that being an accomplished Auror would make him a more popular candidate for Minister of Magic (not that he cared about that).

Viktor was 18 when he became an Auror (and got his own flat, finally); he was the youngest Auror in history. They wouldn’t let him start training until he was 16 (and his family had to pull some strings), and he completed training in 2 years instead of 3 because he was just that good. On his first assignment, he found and captured a Dark wizard and their duel caught the attention of the Muggle village the wizard was hiding in; the whole village needed to be Obliviated. Viktor became a media sensation for his young age, prowess, name, charisma, and good looks. He continued to excel in virtually every case that he was given.

Viktor was invited soon after his first case and every year thereafter by his Hogwarts fanclub to give demonstrations of defensive charms and dueling. Chris was inspired to become an Auror after meeting Viktor at a demonstration at Beauxbatons; Chris currently lives and works in Switzerland, but he and Viktor exchange letters and visit each other occasionally.

After working as an Auror for 6 years, the glamour of the profession has largely been stripped away– long days and nights staking out Dark wizards; sometimes being unable to save people; gruesome crime scenes; the media constantly waiting for him to slip up; unable to keep a meaningful relationship because of his job/concerns about enemies coming after his partners if the relationship was made public; the other Aurors thinking he’s a goal to surpass or an airhead or a spoiled show-off etc.; his parents nagging him to retire already, get married, and start running for office; his closest friends being his dog and his house elf, who he told to stay behind to take care of his parents (she comes to fetch Makkachin when Viktor is on long-term missions). It doesn’t help that he overworks to ignore his deteriorating emotional state.

Then he goes to the latest graduation banquet and congratulates all the newest Aurors and says he looks forward to working with them (kind of a lie since he pretty much always works alone); one of the graduates is a very handsome Japanese man who seems to be stuck to the wall furthest away from everyone else, shows no interest in mingling, and drinks glass after glass of Firewhisky. Viktor learns that his name is Yuuri Katsuki, who the other graduates say received top marks in all their classes but for some reason nearly failed the final exam. When one of the graduates goes to fetch Yuuri, Yuuri challenges him to a “dance battle,” snaps his fingers, and music starts playing out of nowhere. Viktor watches, slack-jawed, as Yuuri strips his robes off and obliterates his friend with some scandalous Muggle dancing. He beats everyone else who challenges him, too– then he spots Viktor.

The other Aurors watch with much amusement as Yuuri sweeps Viktor away into dances that he is thankfully more familiar with; they dance, uncaring of (or in Yuuri’s case, oblivious to) their audience. They start dancing in the air, on the walls, on the ceiling; more of Yuuri’s clothes start vanishing; following their lead, the rest of the party devolves into drinking and debauchery.

Yuuri asks Viktor to be his partner, and Viktor *gasps* thinking he’s never had a partner before and should he really agree to it with a guy he doesn’t even know and who came in dead last on the final but he’s never felt such a connection with anyone before and oh what the hell yes, owl me tomorrow and we’ll set things up and send Yakov a proposal. He is already excited about mentoring/being partnered with someone so vivacious.

A concerned staffer (and killjoy) alerts Yakov (who left early after giving his speech) that the banquet has descended into hedonism, the Aurors were supposed to have left already, we need this room tomorrow; Yakov finds Viktor cradling a practically naked man in his arms (Yuuri’s only in his boxers at this point, and those are being dangerously jostled as he grinds against Viktor) and becomes apoplectic, tells everyone to go home, ESPECIALLY YOU VITYA, and makes one of the more sober graduates take Yuuri home.

Viktor practically floats back to his flat. Then he waits for Yuuri’s owl. He waits for a week before casually asking Yakov if he knows where Yuuri is, only to find out he recently left for a secret mission for an undetermined amount of time that Yakov won’t tell him anything about.

Viktor is furious, why the hell would a complete rookie be sent on a confidential mission? but Yakov says it’s none of Viktor’s business and won’t budge, not even after weeks of him asking after Yuuri, and Vitya if you ask me one more time about that boy I’ll send you to Romania to shovel dragon dung. Viktor throws himself into his work and gets more and more unhappy and reckless…

Yuuri Katsuki

(Note: The presence of Youkai in wizarding Japan as well as a kitsune Headmistress for Mahoutokoro was inspired by @dreaming-fireflies’ Hogwarts series, Defying Gravity, which everyone should read!)

Yuuri showed no signs of magical ability until he was 9 months old and started trying to walk. Hiroko fondly recalls that Yuuri appeared frustrated whenever he would stumble or fall, and then one day all of a sudden turned into a black fox kit and started running around the house.

Living in a Muggle community and running a Muggle inn, Yuuri’s parents hid him from the guests until he was old enough to understand that he couldn’t turn into a fox whenever he wanted. He also couldn’t change his face to scare people, either, no, not even if another child was mean to him. (Mari had gone through something similar until she was able to stop her hair from changing into random colors.)

Somehow, the Japanese Ministry caught wind of a strange boy living in an otherwise quiet Muggle town. A Ministry official was sent to inquire about him, and his parents had to admit that he was a Metamorphmagus who also had kitsune heritage. The official gave the Katsukis a warning on keeping his abilities a secret from Muggles, then told Yuuri that she expected great things from him when he went to Mahoutokoro.

Minako, Hiroko’s old friend, stopped by when she wasn’t touring with her dance company to play with the kids; when Mari left at 11 years old to board at Mahoutokoro full time, Minako spent her visits helping channel Yuuri’s endless energy through dance.

When Yuuri was 7, he clung to Mari as they rode the giant storm petrel to Yuuri’s first day at school. Having had it drilled into his head that he couldn’t use his Metamorphmagus or kitsune abilities around others, he was shocked when the Headmistress summoned him to her office after school (Mari tagged along) and asked him to show her what he could do. After Mari nodded to him, Yuuri turned into a fox, changed a small feather he had taken from the petrel into a gold coin, then turned back into a boy. He admitted to Mari that he had secretly been practicing when he was alone in his room.

The Headmistress was very impressed, to say the least, and asked Yuuri if he wanted to learn more. The shadows of nine tails waved on the wall behind her, and Yuuri gasped and said yes. After getting permission from Yuuri’s parents, she started teaching Yuuri how to control his kitsune powers after school. She did tell Yuuri that it was better to keep his abilities hidden around the other students, though, as it might attract unwanted attention.

(Though Wizard-Youkai relations have drastically improved, there are still some parents who mutter under their breaths about a kitsune Headmistress, and some students who are teased for having Youkai heritage; the Japanese Ministry, too, is harsher on Youkai and their descendants when it comes to scrutiny and punishment. It had been illegal for Yuuri’s grandmother to have ever married a Muggle, so Toshiya and his children are sort of products of a crime and if the wrong person found out, they could be shamed/ostracized; better for Yuuri and Mari to just say they are Half-Muggle (and not a quarter-kitsune/quarter-Muggle).)

Unfortunately, due to financial troubles, the inn had to close, and Yuuri was taken out of school to go to Britain with his family (on Minako’s suggestion– she had opened a dance studio there) before he could start his second year. Mari had a difficult choice– she only had a few years left in school, and it was a boarding school so it wasn’t like she saw her family every day anyway. Even so, she wanted to stay close to them, and so she asked for and received permission to transfer to Hogwarts as a Fourth year.

The Ministry didn’t want to lose such promising students, and even offered Hiroko a job to stay, but the inn had been their passion. Besides, the Katsukis were privately worried that the Ministry might have an interest in their children. Hiroko gracefully declined the honor and got them all the hell out.

They stayed with Minako until they were able to build a new inn– this time catering to Muggles and wizards alike (the wizards had a secret entrance and separate rooms), and it prospered. Japanese wizards (and the occasional Youkai) loved it, and its reputation spread by word of mouth.

Since children start school at the age of 7 in Japan, Yuuri studied Mari’s old spellbooks while he waited for his Hogwarts letter (though Hiroko would only allow him to practice magic in her presence).

At Hogwarts, Mari quickly showed anyone who tried to bully her for her accent, race, or blood status how powerful Japanese spells could be (she received a lot of detentions for it but probably made Mahoutokoro proud). By the time Yuuri started, Mari was in her last year and pretty popular for being a powerful witch and terrifying Beater, and everyone was wondering what her brother would be like, which worsened Yuuri’s innate anxiety.

Mari helped Yuuri adjust to life at Hogwarts, keeping bullies off his back and teaching him spells to use when she couldn’t be there. She took a backseat when she noticed Yuuri becoming friends with Phichit, trusting that he could handle himself. When she graduated, she went to help her parents with the inn.

Though he had Phichit as a friend, Yuuri still struggled a lot with anxiety while at Hogwarts. The Headmistress of Mahoutokoro had told him, when he’d left, that he could write to her at any time; so in his second year, he sent her a letter asking for advice, thinking that she would never reply or that she would have forgotten him by now. He was shocked to receive an answer from her with several suggestions, one of which was something called Occlumency. He got permission from the Headmistress of Hogwarts to take out some advanced books from the Library, and he and Phichit practiced together. It was very hard, though, and the Mahoutokoro Headmistress seemed to be able to tell that Yuuri was lying when he said that he was doing okay. She said that if he wanted to, she could teach him during the summer.

He started spending a month every summer after second year being tutored by the Mahoutokoro Headmistress again (he lived with her and her sister, who turned out to be the Ministry official who had first visited his family), and practiced what he learned at home. Occlumency really did help him center himself while he was anxious, and he was determined to master it to combat his (perceived) mental weakness. When the Headmistress thought Yuuri was ready, she taught him other spells as well, including Legilimency, since Yuuri wanted to master all sorts of mental magic (though of course he knew he should never use it on someone else without a good reason).

When Viktor was 18, Yuuri was 14 and in his fourth year at Hogwarts. After seeing Viktor, suddenly the entire world was brand new and Yuuri had a goal to aim for. Yuuri and Phichit would go to watch Viktor every time he came to demonstrate spells, but Yuuri never had the courage to approach him.

Yuuri took his early life lessons to heart and never showed any hint of his Metamorphmagus and kitsune abilities while in the presence of other students– until Phichit barged into his room while visiting the summer after fourth year and saw Yuuri juggling foxfire in his hands, fox ears twitching on his head. He was hurt that Yuuri would think Phichit would ever say anything or think differently of his best friend (Phichit himself was Muggleborn), but they made up. Phichit was a huge gossip, but not once did he ever mention Yuuri’s secret.

Though he had a rocky start, Yuuri quietly rose to the top of his classes, showing amazing magical proficiency; since Aurors had to be athletic, Yuuri tried out for and got a spot as a player on his House’s Quidditch team. He became sort of a star at school and a lot of people fancied him (including one tiny younger Slytherin who went out of his way to be rude to Yuuri, and even made disparaging comments about Viktor Nikiforov to Yuuri’s face– but only once); Yuuri didn’t notice, he was so focused on his goal. He’d go to Hogsmeade sometimes with Phichit and a few other friends, but spent most of his free time studying and honing his skills so that he could one day meet Viktor on a level playing field.

When Yuuri graduated, he and Phichit went to work for the Ministry of Magic– Yuuri as an Auror in training and Phichit as a researcher (though Yuuri often hung out at the Research department to dabble with spell-making). He and Phichit quickly became Celestino’s favorite newbies. Only the higher-ups knew about Yuuri’s heritage, and planned to keep it that way.

In his third year of Auror training, he was called into Yakov’s office, where a Japanese Ministry official was waiting for him– the Headmistress’ sister. She explained to Yuuri that a Dark witch was gathering power, and if they couldn’t contain her, they might need his help due to his outstanding skillset and unique heritage, and would he please consider helping them? Yuuri secretly wondered if this was the price of learning from the Headmistress, but her sister conveyed that her help had been freely given, and if Yuuri decided to decline the mission, he would still be welcome, always.

He accepted, and received special (brutal) training from Lilia for the deep cover operation he would likely be undertaking, coming in earlier and staying long after the other trainees.

Yuuri finished Auror training at the age of 20; at the graduation banquet, he was too ashamed of his dead last score on the final exam and nervous about his upcoming mission to talk to Viktor Nikiforov, so he drowned his misery in Firewhisky. He woke up the next day in the flat he shared with Phichit with no memory of how he got there, a raging hangover, and a very angry letter from the Head of the Auror Department to basically get his shit together because he was leaving in a few days.

#yoi fic #yoi au #yoi hogwarts au #hogwarts au #viktuuri #viktor nikiforov #katsuki yuuri #harry potter cross dressing tech support au #3au prompts #yoi #my writing #i don't think heart mouth anon is here anymore lol ;^;

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spideyxchelle · 7 years

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Hey I don't know if you've ever done something like this or have been asked this or even if you really write fanfic but you should definitely write a spideychelle headcannon or fic based on wet dreamz by j Cole

a lot of you wanted some first time stuff. so here. also, I didn’t know this song, fam. so I looked it up and its WILD. the lyrics are insane. and, forewarning, this is a sensitive content headcanon. SO, you know, be prepared.

by the end of junior year Peter is pretty sure he’s got a totally healthy crush on MJ (see: obsession)

its not a stalkery obsession, okay? its more like since she found out that he’s Spider-man and become friends with him and Ned he notices everything about her and always wants her around and he starts looking forward to going to school because he knows she’ll be there and he even declines some upstate training weekends because MJ wants to go to BLM marches and he just wants to brush against her shoulder in a bustling crowd

its not weird. okay. its a little weird. but she’s woah. she’s probably the most brilliant, fascinating, wholly unique girl he’s ever met and she doesn’t need him but he really wants her to want him, you know?

not want him biblically more like want him as in want to be with him but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t always want her to want him in the sex kind of way. he’s seventeen. sue him.

the only time they ever talk about sex is when Ned excitedly tells MJ and Peter that he and Betty finally had sex. they’re all over watching movies on their weekly Sunday night movie night. and while Ned and Peter both freak out because AHH THAT IS GREAT NEWS…MJ remains quiet. they both ask her why she isn’t freaking out with them and she casually informs them that virginity is a social construct and you can’t lose anything. genitals are genitals before and after sex.

and so, five weeks later, Peter is a little taken back when he gets a note from MJ in the middle of chemistry. its more like she chucks a crumpled up ball of paper against his head in lieu of passing him a note.

after shooting her a confused look, he unfolds the note and nearly chokes. he shakes his head to make sure he read the note right and F U C K it says the same thing he thought it did. “you wanna have sex this weekend?”

he doesn’t know how to play it cool, how to play it chill because Peter, by design, is not cool. and MJ is. like probably the coolest person he’s ever met.

he glances back at her and she’s jotting down her notes like she didn’t just proposition him in the middle of chemistry (the irony is not lost on him).

he quickly scribbles down an answer (”have you ever had sex before”) and waits.

it comes five minutes later (”of course. you?”) and he tries not to be irritated by her answer because its her body and her choice but he’s suddenly jealous of this phantom guy he’s never met. and intimidated by her proposition because while he does wanna have sex with her (again, he’s a seventeen year old boy) he doesn’t want to be an inexperienced disappointment…

so instead of being upfront and honest with her…he lies (”yep. so this weekend?”)

and suddenly he’s making plans with MJ to have sex at her house this weekend and he has NO IDEA HOW THIS IS HIS LIFE ALL OF THE SUDDEN. he needs to talk to Aunt May!!!

NO WAIT HE CAN’T TALK TO AUNT MAY. scratch that. that is way too…weird? yea, weird.

so he comes up with a plan that involves watching a lot of porn to learn what he’s supposed to do and he buys some condoms at a nearby convenience store. and tries to learn how to put one on himself like he’s a pro. spoiler alert: he’s not. the rubber snaps against his dick twice and he cries both times. because that HURTS. ouch. by the third time he manages to not maim his penis. and he feels pretty good, more like a superhero than he ever does as Spider-man.

on Friday night he goes upstate to meet with Tony about his suit and while he’s hanging upside-down from the ceiling trying out some new tech a condom falls out of jean pocket.

there is a profoundly awkwardly silence…..

Tony hands back the package as Peter’s feet hit the floor. his face is bright red and Tony asks slowly, almost like he hates himself for acknowledging it at all, “you’re being safe, I see. so that’s good” “Tony-” “I don’t really want to talk about it, kid. just safety is important, okay?” “yes sir”

more awkward silence.

“who is it?” “Mr. Stark…” “that’s none of my business.” “thank you” “is it that MJ, girl?” “OKAY! I’m going to go.” “HAVE FUN AND BE SAFE PARKER!”

and Peter wants to roll under a rock and never come out again. god. he hates his life.

except his life is amazing because MJ wants to have sex with him….unless he’s terrible. O H GOD WHAT IF HE IS TERRIBLE AND SHE NEVER WANTS TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN?!? he could live his whole life without having sex with MJ (it would suck but he could do it) but he couldn’t spend his whole life not being friends with her. he needs her in a way he suspects she doesn’t need him.

he goes to her house the day they planned to talk to her about how he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship….but he doesn’t really get to talk. he opens the door and MJ throws herself at him. and he does try (kind of, again he’s a seventeen year old boy) but each time he tries to talk MJ is kissing him and he basically short circuits.

like he’s imagined kissing her before (too many times to count) and its nothing compared to the real thing. the real thing is so hot and makes him lightheaded and her skin is…wow.

like its so soft. SO SOFT. he wants to know what moisturizer she uses. and he also wants to eat her out. its a weird thing happening in his brain right now.

they fumble backwards into some wall and MJ is taller than him, that’s just the facts of life, but he’s strong and so he hoists her up around his waist to really take full advantage of making out.

he’s pretty sure he’s making some very enthusiastic noises because fifteen minutes into making out MJ is smiling against his lips….and he KNOWS its because he’s amusing her. but he can’t bring himself to care because she’s grinding up against him and the only thought he can actually manage is her name - MJ MJ MJ MJ

it takes them another half hour to make it to her room because every time he tries to back them away from the wall MJ yanks him back against her. but once they are in her room MJ tears his shirt off and curses. he’s momentarily self conscious until she explains, “you’re crazy ripped, spider-boy.” “man,” he corrects her. “we’ll see,” she smirks. and then she’s kissing him again.

and he’s coherent enough to know that he’s in love with her. and probably has been for months. but y i k e s. she’s got him so fucked up.

the rest of their clothes go relatively fast after that and he starts to think a little prayer that he won’t cum too quickly and that he won’t disappoint and that he won’t lose her friendship because he’s an inexperienced loser that is crazy in love with her.

he tears open the condom wrapper like he practiced and positions himself to enter her when she presses her hands against his chest and tells him to stop. HIS EYES GO BIG BECAUSE DID HE ALREADY MESS IT UP?! he didn’t even put it IN yet.

and when his brain catches up to the moment he notices how nervous she looks. it doesn’t make any sense to him. and she whispers, “I know you’ve done this before…but….I haven’t, okay? so, you know, I can’t do anything fancy.”

it throws his whole head off kilter because he hadn’t anticipated this. he’d spent the better part of a week hating a guy he’d never met that she’d had sex with before. but now….now….well this changes everything.

he blinks, “you wanna lose your virginity to me?” its a dumb question because she rolls her eyes and says, “not losing anything. virginity is a social construct. but i want to have sex for the first time with you. yes.”

“why?”

“i thought that part was obvious…?” and its not because MJ keeps talking slow like he’s a moron, “I like you, doofus.”

she kisses him for good measure like she’s reassuring him that she does, in fact, like him. and everything that was frantic and desperate before is now slower. between kisses he admits he’s never had sex before either and she looks delighted. which is a weird reaction to his inexperience but he supposes he’s a little glad that she’s never had sex with anyone before him, too.

when he finally does join their bodies together, MJ hisses like its a bit of a new and unusual stretch. he watches her face carefully and TRIES HIS HARDEST (again, its hard at seventeen) to not move. she brushes her mouth against his for what feels like her own benefit. he indulges all of the kisses she seems to want.

and when she’s ready he moves inside her slow. its effortful, the slow pace he’s going, but he manages the best he can. it helps that they’re kissing. because he can focus on that and not how much he wants to just thrust into her body because it all feels so good.

he doesn’t last long, he supposes that was inevitable, but MJ doesn’t seem to mind. she’s grips his back and tells him its okay. and he cums.

when he done, he collapses on her and she makes an oof noise. but when he tries to climb off of her she pulls him back down and fits his face in her neck. she strokes his hair and he relaxes. this feeling is better than anything they just did. this, the two of them just breathing together. this is what he wanted more than the sex (tho, he wants more of the sex, too).

they stay like that for five minutes and then Peter hoists himself up on his elbows and kisses her nose. she rolls her eyes at him but is smiling. “i’m sorry i hurt you,” he whispers. “it was a weird stretch but you didn’t hurt me, Parker. get off your high horse.”

he laughs and spends the rest of the afternoon trying to make her feel as good as she made him feel. by, you know, going down on her. and he’s not GOOD at it per say but what he lacks in experience he makes up for with enthusiasm. and with MJ’s guidance they work it out together.

the next day at school Peter and MJ keep shooting each other looks. and Ned notices. and he almost doesn’t want to ask but……….he gives in, “what?” “nothing” they both say. and he nearly drops it but at lunch MJ gets some foam from her coffee on her upper lip and Peter leans over to kiss it away.

AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE BECAUSE WTF YOU GUYS??!??! WHEN THE- WHAT THE- EXPLAIN!!!

#anon #asks #headcanon ask #headcanon #okay here is the first time head canon you all wanted #there.#it exists.#spideychelle #trash can

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moonlitmyth-archive · 7 years

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Any number with a 4 in it ^^

super detailed questions | accepting

I’ve been sitting on this forever because I had to think really hard about a lot of them. orz Under a cut for length.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

So this is where I fess up to the silly headcanon @murdermayhemandjack and I developed which is that Margaret and Jack are twins (yeah I’m pretty sure everyone figured that out on the 13th but hey here’s your official announcement). So uh. Let’s just… She likes to think about her parents as little as possible. She’ll occasionally tell stories about them, but nine out of ten times, it’s the idealized version of events and she pictures generic fairy tale parents rather than her own.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

This woman’s entire life revolves around food. To single out a memory about food would be like asking her to pick a favorite child. (it’s Carina)

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

She doesn’t sleep much; usually she gets home from work a little after midnight, she putters around for a couple hours, then sleeps in a couple fits. She’s usually up around nine, although if she has enough trouble sleeping, she’ll get up anytime she wakes up and it’s after about 5:30. I don’t think there was exactly a lot of mattress variety in the 18th century, so I can’t really speak to firmness. She doesn’t snore unless she’s run herself absolutely ragged and crashed despite herself. (And if you try to tell her she did, she will argue you all the way to Hell.)

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

answered here. She sees to reason to dislike her body, yay for not growing up with the unrealistic beauty standards imposed by the mainstream media!

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

She’s pretty damn alert. You would swear she has eyes not only in the back of her head, but the sides, too. She drinks alcohol depressants more often than coffee stimulants.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Demisexual. The best way to snag her attention: be a little mysterious without being self-conscious about it. Make her curious. She’s definitely more attracted to personality than looks; she’ll acknowledge/notice someone is attractive, but won’t actually be attracted to them until they’ve done something to actually intrigue her. In a partner, she desperately needs someone who can be her match in multiple departments, a true partner. She needs someone who will let her take care of them, but call her on it when she turns into a mother hen; someone who makes her laugh, but is also down for in-depth philosophical debates as casual dinner conversation; someone who can exist in her space without disrupting it; someone who will show her a little bit of the world at a time and be at peace with the fact that she will always end up landbound in the end; someone who will argue, but know that it’s not serious.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

I don’t know that she has any specific long term aspirations beyond just living a good life and not taking it for granted. I’ve said this before, but she would rip the world to shreds if it meant saving Carina. That mama wolf runs deep.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Nah. She’s just indifferent. She does go to church early most Sunday mornings, but it’s just because she likes the quiet community rather than any particular devotion to god. She has no qualms with anyone who is religious, and she’ll even humor people assuming she is if it makes interacting with them easier, because she just doesn’t really think it matters all that much.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Summer - but only because Hector usually hangs around during hurricane season. She actually abhors the heat. (Meg you live in the tropics what did you expect) She loves rainstorms, the louder and darker, the better; her favorite night is one where she’s sitting there in bed at midnight listening to rain pound on the roof and watching the room light up from lightning strikes. She will bitch night and day about that stagnant, oppressive feeling of the air not moving before a thunderstorm, though.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

I’d like to think she sees herself mostly the same way other people say her; she is The Mom Friend and that’s the end of it. She probably doesn’t have quite as rosy a view of herself as other people do of her, but then, other people aren’t usually party to the 24/7 snarkfest going on inside her head, and only the nice stuff usually makes it out of her mouth.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

She’s good at reading people, so she tends to tailor first impressions whenever possible. In the Duchess, she is absolutely in her element, and she’ll adopt different tactics with different people, depending on what she thinks they’ll respond the best to. Anywhere else in public, she puts up that Polite Wall as a guard against just about anything, and for the most part it works; when she meets new people, they think she’s just this nice lady who owns a tavern, which is more or less what she wants people to think of her. She typically introduces herself with just her first name, or first name and Smyth if she has to; the only time she’s ever introduced herself as Margaret Barbossa is when she thinks it might work in her favor, which is somewhat of a rare occurrence, lbr. (also spoilers: no, Smyth is not her real name.)

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

She has a love-hate relationship with this kind of thing. While she likes organizing events, she doesn’t especially enjoy attending them. She does like dressing up, but not when it’s for the benefit of someone else’s sensibilities, so she ends up being really quietly resentful anytime she has to dress up for anything else. She tends to chitchat and at least look like she’s enjoying herself (#that cocktail personality), but she’ll take any excuse to duck out early.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

She likes small parties. She won’t go to a party unless it’s being hosted by someone she knows, or unless she’s the plus one for someone she knows REALLY well (Jack, Hector, Ariel (@fiercelioness , Carina)

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

She doesn’t really get attached to things; actually, she gets all squirrelly when people give her gifts because she’s just like “wehh what do i do with this /arm flailing”. She values her wedding ring for obvious reasons, and any of her journals, and that’s. About it. She generally doesn’t carry stuff with her, but she wears that ring literally 24/7, she sleeps with it on, is2g.

#Anonymous #asks #headcanons #about margaret

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