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blossomwritesthings · 1 year

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𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

genre: veterinarian!minho (this includes a few of the skz members working in his clinic). client!reader. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. strangers to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. minho is reader's vet. reader's childhood cat suddenly gets diagnosed with cancer, and she has to make a big decision about what to do. this fanfic includes heavy topics like: pet euthanasia, extreme loss/grief, depression, the problems with pet healthcare, and more. there will be some humor/fluff placed throughout, and also smut somewhere along the way. :))

word count: 7.1k

summary: dr. lee minho is known throughout your area as the city's hottest veterinarian, and he's also the very man that's been taking good care of your two cats for the past three years. but one day, you're thrown down a dark path of heartache when the cat that you've grown up with - nyx - is diagnosed with an acute form of bone cancer. burdened with the hardest decision of your entire life, you come at a crossroads of what to do. and throughout it all, minho is the single most person who continually stays by your side.

a/n: i decided to split this fic up into like, 3-4 separate chapters, since i felt like having 20.k+ words for a single 'long oneshot' was kindaa excessive lmao 😂 anyways, i'm excited for the future of this little series and what it's gonna look like exploring the relationship between minho and y/n~ 😉 also, for anyone that noticed, YES- i changed my entire tumblr theme after like, 4 months of having it be rainbow haha, so you might not recognize me on your dash with my new look. but yeah, this is the 'new me' for the next few months... i was feeling super inspired to do a muted levanter theme, since it's one of my fav albums/songs from skz haha so here we are!! ☺️

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The clinic was incredibly busy as you stepped through the front doors. Looking around the medium-sized waiting room, you noticed how almost every single seat was taken up by a patient. Because apparently, the hot place to be on a Thursday morning was Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic.

You clutched on a little tighter to the carrier at your side, which held your cat Nyx just inside the bassinet. She was an American Shorthair, with a coat as black as midnight and big, ocean-blue eyes. Your parents had gifted you Nyx as a surprise for your sixth birthday, since you had been begging them for a cat all year long. And instantly, the two of you were inseparable. Nyx had been with you for almost every stage of your life - including grade/middle school, high school, and all of university. She was so incredibly affectionate towards everyone, but especially you. She loved curling up alongside you after you’d spent a long, hard day at work and would just cuddle into your skin for hours.

Nyx was your stability in everything - she was one of your only friends, even when you were surrounded by other adults your same age at work. And at the ripe age of twenty-four, you couldn’t imagine what your life would be like if she ever left your side.

But, you weren’t naive, or stupid.

And you knew that at some point, Nyx would have to move on from your world and onto a better, and brighter future.

Which is why you decided to adopt a female Bengal cat after you graduated from university. Taffy had a brilliant orange-and-brown coat with light green eyes. And because she was so much younger than Nyx, she had a lot more energy. But even still, the two cats got along quite well, despite their huge age gap. Taffy was the troublemaker out of the two and liked to get into mischief with all kinds of things.

You took great pride in both of them and the relationship that you had with your two kitties, which is why you regularly took them to the local veterinarian clinic for routine checkups. Usually, you visited every six months, just to make sure that Taffy and Nyx were in perfect health.

And it’s not like you were complaining about the visits to Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic. It was a beautiful and spacious place, with a friendly bunch of staff and an even better doctor.

Doctor Lee Minho had been the continual talk of the town since he had moved into the area three years before, and soon after he set up his practice - which was just a short walk from your quaint apartment - you started going to him for your cat’s regular check-ups. Dr. Lee was incredibly professional with all of his clients, and he had a true knack for animals… but especially, cats. That’s what he prided himself on - knowing the ins and outs of the feisty little beings... since he had three of his own. Some even said that he was a cat himself since he had similar mannerisms to the felines.

It also helped that he was insanely handsome.

Like, drop-dead gorgeous.

You weren’t a fool - you noticed how, every time you visited the clinic, most of the clients were women. And almost every time that you sat in the waiting room, you’d overhear women talking amongst themselves… about how they had dressed up for the occasion, and how Dr. Lee was way too cute for his good.

For the most part, all of the comments passed over your head.

After all, he was just a veterinarian. He wasn’t anything special…

He just took amazing care of the animals that visited his clinic.

And he seemed to adore your two cats.

And-

Perhaps he was kind of, sort of, attractive.

If a woman liked the silent, brooding, brown-haired types of guys- then yeah, he was fucking really hot.

But, you always tried to push those thoughts out of your mind each time they started to bubble up to the forefront of your mind. You didn’t want to ruin the professional doctor-client relationship that the two of you had been cultivating for over three years. He was an amazing veterinarian with a lot of skill and expertise, and you had a feeling that you taking advantage of your closeness with him, by forcing yourself onto him, would just turn him away.

After all, he was always professional and polite with you. Even if he seemed to give you a lot of smiles and laughs each time you had an appointment at the clinic. And even if he seemed overly affectionate with Nyx and Taffy. He was just doing his job, as that’s what was to be expected from a doctor like him.

And besides, a guy like him would never go for you. For starters, you had just recently found out that he was five years older than you, landing him at the mature age of twenty-nine. And older guys of that many years never went for you - never stooped that low. Plus, he was a successful doctor and a businessman with his clinic. Whereas you were a struggling woman who was fighting to make ends meet at her low-ranking corporate job. You sat in a small cubicle all day, typing away at a bright computer screen, and Dr. Lee sat in front of patients and animals, actually making a difference in others’ lives.

There was also the fact that you were borderline poor- since your job barely paid anything compared to the way that the economy was so expensive. You struggled to pay your bills monthly and lived from paycheck to paycheck. Meanwhile, Dr. Lee rolled up to the clinic in his dark-blue sports car and was always donned in all different kinds of designer dress shirts and slacks.

So, yeah, he’d never fall for you. Not in a million years.

“Y/N! Good to see you again!” You heard a bright voice call out to you, bringing you out of your daydreams of expensive cars and fancy clothes.

Your eyes flitted up to the person sitting behind the front check-in desk of the clinic. Chan, one of the two receptionists of the place, was looking up at you with a soft smile adorning his face.

“Oh- hi, Chan… I’m here for Nyx’s check-up.” You mimicked his smile, motioning with a tilt of your head to the carrier where Nyx was situated in.

You were on a first-name basis with the entire staff line of the clinic, as you had been visiting it for so many years. Everyone at the clinic was extremely nice, and all of the staff were Dr. Lee’s friends. Soon after you first visited the clinic, he told you about the story of how he had recruited some of his best friends to open the shop with him, and how the rest was history. Even still, you called everyone by their first name except for Dr. Lee - since you decided to keep it professional with him and always address him by his official title well into the beginning of your appointments at the clinic.

“Sure thing,” Chan began, tearing his gaze away from you and typing away at his computer. “I see here that Jisung jotted down your concerns for this visit’s file. Has anything changed since you called in a month ago?”

You moved your focus onto the carrier at your side, where you saw Nyx resting peacefully just inside it. She had long since gotten used to the clinic and was normally very calm whenever you visited the place. “Yeah, she’s been sleepier than usual, and like- she doesn’t want to eat the food that I’ve been giving her, even though I’ve changed the brand two times already.”

Chan’s eyes darted up to you, studying your face silently before they flitted over to the carrier that you had placed atop the counter at your side. “Okay, I’ll add all of that to the notes so that the doctor can take a look,” you noticed how his lips were pressed together in a grim line- like he didn’t like what you had just told him. “You can take a seat, and Yongbok will call you back when they’re ready for you guys.”

“Thanks, Chan,” you said, offering him a tiny, weak smile before you headed off to find one of the only available seats left in the waiting room. As soon as you got situated, you gingerly took Nyx out of her crate. She was warm and downy in your hands and purred quietly at the feel of you pressing her furry body against your chest. “It’s gonna be okay, girl, you’ll be alright…” You whispered to her, mouth nuzzling into her silky coat as you placed a gentle kiss against her head.

After you placed Nyx back in her crate, you spent the waiting time studying the people around you. Once again, it was mainly women’s faces that your eyes met as you scanned over the entire room. And there were all different types of pets everywhere, from dogs to cats to birds.

“Oh, and apparently, Jungmi’s friend saw him out on the streets late at night last week… like, all alone and stuff.” You heard the woman say beside you. She was sitting close to another woman, and their heads were bent at an angle as they gossiped together. “Some girl came out of this one cafe and was hanging all over him, but it didn't seem like he knew her that well.”

The other woman snorted lowly, “Well that bitch doesn’t matter, because I’m going to be sure to seduce him this time around. I mean, c’mon- who can resist this shirt?” At her insinuation, you realized that they were talking about Dr. Lee.

Even still, you felt the urge to peek over to your side and look at her attire, and when you did, you swallowed down the dryness in your throat. Because holy fuck- she looked like she was about to go to the club. Her shirt had a scoop neckline and was so low, more than half of her tits were hanging out of the loose fabric. It was tight and stretched over her bosom in an alluring kind of way, leaving little to the imagination.

Meanwhile, you were dressed in one of your old, baggy hoodies and a pair of loose-fitting denim jeans. Even though it was the beginning of spring, it was still quite chilly out early in the morning. And besides, you weren’t planning on going anywhere else after you visited the clinic, since you had taken the rest of the day off from work, so there was no use in dressing up. Not like you had any nice, sexy clothes like that to begin with, though.

In all actuality, you really couldn’t afford to take a day off of work. But, you felt like it was needed after the long week that you had had. After the long year you had had.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious while you sat next to Aphrodite herself, your fingers scrambled to yank down the arms of your hoodie as best as you could, trying to let the fabric swallow you up in your seat.

Just then, your name was called over the hustle and bustle of the waiting room, and you peered up to see a smiling Yongbok standing in the doorway that lead to the rest of the clinic - where the examining rooms were.

In a hurry, you scrambled to pick up your tote bag and hoisted Nyx in her carrier with one arm, following right behind the young vet tech as he lead you through the back rooms of the clinic. The hallway was buzzing with movement, as the other Tech’s, Seungmin and Hyunjin, helped vet assistant Changbin calm down a barking German Shepherd so that they could usher him onto a weighing station that was positioned in a corner of the hallway. Dr. Lee was nowhere to be found… yet.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Yongbok started, as he motioned to an examining room just off to the right side for you to walk in. You took a seat in the chair that was positioned next to the desk - where the doctor always sat. “Since Hyunjin is almost always the one who first greets you.” The younger man with light blonde hair and big, expressive eyes sighed in an exaggerated kind of way, which forced a quiet giggle out of you.

“He’s a good tech though… Taffy especially likes him, I think.” You started, your mind already trailing off to what your younger cat might be doing while being left home alone in your apartment. No doubt tearing into the bag of chips that you had accidentally left atop the kitchen counter.

“Mhm- how is she, by the way? I feel like you haven’t brought her in in a while,” Yongbok said, as he slipped on a pair of blue latex gloves. You dragged your eyes away from his form and instead concentrated on unzipping the carrier in your arms, slowly drawing out a lethargic Nyx.

“Taffy is good, just being her usual rambunctious self,” you laughed softly, shaking your head as the affection for your other cat took over your thoughts. “She’s definitely very different from my Nyx here, that’s for sure…”

Yongok wheeled his chair over to you then, gently taking your old cat from your hands and hoisting her up onto the examination table that was nearby. “I saw in the files that she’s been having problems with eating?” He started, voice growing serious as he began his study of your cat.

You nodded slowly, swallowing over the nervous lump that had begun to form in your throat as soon as he placed Nyx on the paper-lined table. You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, and you watched in silence as Yongbok turned Nyx around to thoroughly examine her. “Yeah, and she hasn’t been wanting to play with Taffy either, even though she used to love to.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“About… four months now?”

Yongbok turned to you then, leveling you with a deep frown, “And you’re only bringing her in now?” His tone wasn’t accusatory, but was more on the perplexed side of things, as all of the staff at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic knew how much you loved your cats and how you adored taking care of them.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, hating the way that he seemed to question why you hadn’t taken care of Nyx’s symptoms earlier. “I-I didn’t have the money for this appointment until just recently, so that’s why I'm only bringing her in now.”

Your gaze snagged on Yongbok’s face, and the way that it instantly melted at your confession... brows furrowing and mouth pressing into a velvety line. The entire clinic must’ve known about your financial situation by now - about how you could barely afford food for yourself, let alone the bills from the clinic - since more oftentimes than not, you’d ask for a grace period from paying for the visits.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you’re in the wrong here,” he began, but his slight frown only seemed to deepen as he spoke the words, “It’s just that- these symptoms shouldn’t be ignored for that long.”

At that, your heart started beating frantically inside your chest. Your focus landed on Nyx, who was now resting atop the table, with her eyes closed peacefully. “W-What? What do you mean by that? Is something wrong-”

Yongbok reached over then, giving your shoulder a delicate pat. “I can’t confirm anything myself, but I’m going to take Nyx back to the X-Ray rooms to examine her better. Then, I’ll give the data to Dr. Lee and he can examine the diagnosis.” He gingerly scooped up Nyx into his arms, pressing her against his chest.

“O-Okay, but-” You began, but were soon cut off by the way that Yongbok gave you a slight, reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’m sure Nyx is just fine.” Is the last thing he said, before he was quickly filing out of the room with your cat in his hold, leaving you all alone.

And as soon as he shut the door closed, you were a nervous wreck. Your knees bounced up and down, hands turning clammy and breath falling out in shaky gasps as your mind raced a mile a minute with countless thoughts.

Would Nyx be okay?

Was she sick?

What was so wrong with her?

The wait time to see the doctor usually wasn’t that long, but this time - this time, it felt different.

It felt like each minute stretched out before you in an endless cycle, sending you down a deep and deeper spiral of anguish as you tried to wrack your brain around the entire situation.

When finally, there was a gentle knock on the door.

You had been holding your head in either of your hands, but upon hearing footsteps against the linoleum floors, you peered up to see Dr. Lee closing the door behind him. He was dressed in his usual garb - dress slacks, a simple white button-down, and his white doctor's coat.

Dr. Lee was silent, as he wheeled his chair over to you. And only then did you notice that Nyx was missing. That he wasn’t carrying her in his arms- like he usually did when he brought her back from the closed examination room.

And you knew the moment that he sat down, that something was wrong.

Because usually, when his eyes caught yours as he walked through the examining room’s door, his entire face would light up with one of those brilliant smiles that women gushed over. Usually, he’d be the first one to crack a stupid joke - whether it was something lame about the weather outside, or about the crazy animal that he just had an encounter with before seeing you.

But this time?

No, this time it was very different.

His proud shoulders were slumped low, cheekbones dark with shadows, and plump, red lips pressed together in a firm line.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw once,

twice,

three times.

Then, and only then, did his eyes meet yours.

And they said all you needed to know.

Just by the way that his dark, chestnut-brown pupils danced with a myriad of emotions; apprehension, fear, compassion, but most of all… sadness.

“What is it?”

The words flowed from your lips before you even knew what you were asking, and almost immediately, you were sitting up a little straighter in your chair.

Spine going rigid, fists growing tight at your sides.

Something swam, cool and deep, inside of you.

Chilling you to the bone, with tense unease.

In the depths of your mind, you felt the pinprick of ominous heartache prodding at the fleshy part of your soul.

The part that was weak and emotional and so very tender all of the time.

“I’m so sorry.”

Was the first thing Dr. Lee said.

You already felt the tears flowing, unbidden and unchecked, warming your suddenly freezing cheeks, at the sound of ‘sorry’ leaving his mouth. Because he had never said such a thing to you before. And you never, ever, wanted to hear it come from him again.

“What’s wrong?” You prodded again, limbs growing a little shaky in your anxiety. Breath hitching in your chest agonizingly, you could physically feel your heart pushing against your ribs.

Aching,

Burning,

Already seeping with hurt, even though you didn’t quite know what was wrong just yet.

Dr. Lee ran a rough hand up and down his face, sighing into his palm, shaking his head once. Then, his fingers were running through his black locks, tugging at the roots just a tiny bit.

Almost like, this crushed him just as much as it was about to pain you.

“It’s about Nyx.”

Swallowing over the huge lump forming in your throat proved very difficult at that moment, but somehow - by some miracle - you did it.

Your tongue felt heavy inside of your mouth- like it was made of hard metal.

For a few beats, you couldn’t manage to form the right words, but when you did, you already felt the stability seeping out of you. Like you were a hot air balloon that had been poked with a sharp needle, with the scalding air and sanity flooding from you in a single breath.

“I’m sorry, Miss. Y/N, I-”

“Just fucking say it, Dr. Lee!” You suddenly exclaimed, voice straining from your quiet sobs. The fat tears rolled down either of your cheeks, leaving angry wet trails in their wake.

He was silent after that, gaze running up and down the length of you slowly. Like you were one of his animals that he assessed daily - like he was testing out your strength and resolve.

Then, his eyes snapped back up to meet yours, and they melted into two puddles of grief.

“It seems as though Nyx is suffering from an acute form of bone cancer.”

And just like, your heart completely stopped.

Each breath you took felt garbled and all wrong.

Your shaky legs and arms wobbled all around you.

The floor crumbled underneath your feet,

Breaking, cracking, shattering irrevocably.

And in that moment, you wished for nothing more but for it to open up completely, and swallow you whole.

Please,

Oh, fuck, please-

Just swallow me already.

Because anything,

Anything,

Would be better than this newfound hell.

“No- no, you’re lying.” You said in a low, gravelly voice. You were clutching onto the arms of your chair, holding on for dear life. Like if you squeezed hard enough, you would be able to wake up and all of this would just fade away into a bad dream.

“Miss. Y/N, I’m so sorry but-” Dr. Lee started in a calm tone, but his face read everything but calm - as his brows wrinkled with concern and his brown eyes were alight with a certain kind of sadness.

“This is a bad dream, it has to be a bad dream,” you cut him off, violently shaking your head from side to side in your disbelief. If you just pinched yourself, maybe then you’d wake up from such a hell. So that’s exactly what you did.

Grabbing one of your arms, you frantically pinched at the skin there.

Again,

And again,

And again.

The tears blurred your vision so much that it was hard to see what was in front of you - hard to notice the angry red mark that started to bloom out across your flesh at your abuse.

Just then, two warm hands took hold of either of yours, fingers sliding between fingers, calloused palms squeezing your own.

The dark-haired figure was kneeling in front of you then, still holding onto your hands. Your heart felt like it was breaking over and over just beneath your ribcage. With each breath that you took, a new piece of it shattered off to swim in the blood flowing through your veins.

“Those symptoms that Nyx has been having are all signs of an acute form of bone cancer, Miss. Y/N. And, they will get worse,” the man said, his low, familiar voice running across your ears and nudging at a tender, warm spot deep inside of you.

“B-But she’ll get better, right? You can heal her, right, doctor?” You asked, throat straining from all of the tears. Through your hazy vision, you clutched a little harder at his hands.

There was a pause of silence on his end after that, which only made you feel worse.

When he finally spoke again, it felt like your world merely crumbled further and further. “Yongbok told me about your… situation, and why you didn’t bring her in earlier. But, because of the wait time, the cancer has developed into an acute case. The only options for helping her at this stage are- amputation and chemotherapy.”

It felt like someone took a bucket of ice-cold water and doused your entire form as soon as his words registered in your mind.

Because if you hadn’t waited so long to get it checked out,

If you hadn’t put it off because you didn’t have the money,

If you didn’t have such a low-paying, shitty job,

Then Nyx never would’ve gotten the cancer in the first place.

Instinctually, you ripped your hands out of Dr. Lee’s grasp. It was the first time you had ever had physical contact with him - and the feeling left you feeling both sick to your stomach and also sent anxious butterflies to erupt throughout your system.

“Oh fuck- it’s my fault,” you said in an incredulous tone, fingers digging into your scalp and tearing at your roots there. “If I hadn’t waited so long, she never would’ve gotten this and she wouldn’t be-”

You felt a heavy hand land atop one of your shoulders, nimble fingers pressing into your skin just slightly. Enough to help ground you back to reality. “I know it’s difficult right now, but I promise it’s going to be okay. You just have to take a few deep breaths and-”

“Where is she?” You asked in a low voice, having the sudden urge to hold your baby in your arms. Maybe, if she just felt you, she’d be healed… “Where is my Nyx, Dr. Lee?”

But you didn’t even wait for him to reply, as you tore away from his hold and hurried to the door, grabbing Nyx’s carrier on the way out. Faintly, you registered Dr. Lee calling out to you from behind, but you paid no mind to it and instead ran through the hallway just outside of the examination room.

“Nyx!” You called out, tone turning desperate. You raced down the hallway, sneakers hitting the concrete at your feet. “Nyx!” The tears clouded your vision, so it was hard to see where you going. But even still, you glimpsed Hyunjin coming out from a room in the back of the clinic, with a black mass of fur laying in his arms.

You cried out in relief at the sight of her, and in an instant, you were running forward and scooping her up and into your grasp. Pressing your face into her warm body, you cuddled her close.

“Y/N-” Hyunjin began, sympathy heavy in his tone. You felt his eyes travel across your face as you looked down at your sickly cat, with fat tears falling down your cheeks and a rapidly-beating heart.

“Let’s go home, my sweet girl…” You whispered so that only Nyx could hear you. And you couldn’t help but notice how light she felt in your arms - she hadn’t had much of an appetite in the last few months, and it pained you so much to know that you hadn’t realized it until it was too late.

Then you were turning away from Hyunjin, not even giving him any attention, as you rushed through the hallway and pressed onwards to the front desk area. Faintly, you could hear people calling out your name from somewhere in the back of the clinic.

But you couldn’t concentrate on any of that. All you could think of was your beautiful cat, who was peacefully sleeping in your arms. “Just a little bit longer, Nyx, we’re almost home…”

The rest of the week passed by in a blur of heartache and tears, as you battled with yourself and your mind to try and come to terms with what was happening.

With what you were going to lose.

It was hard to focus on anything else besides the impending doom that seemed to be right on your doorstep. You were slacking off at your work, which caused your boss to ream you out the next Monday morning. But you couldn’t help it - every time you tried to think about anything else besides Nyx, and losing her, the stormy feelings just came back tenfold.

You had found yourself holed up in your office’s bathroom stalls on more than one occasion already, and by the time it hit a week since you had visited the clinic, it felt like all of the tears had been completely drained from your body.

Every time you looked at her, you wanted to cry. You wanted to, but your body just wouldn't let you. So instead, you took to staying up late into the night and researching remedies to alleviate the pain of cancer - because truly, you hadn’t gotten a solid five hours of sleep since the diagnosis.

After two weeks, you had tried all of the solutions that you could find online - that ranged from implementing natural, whole foods into Nyx’s diet to rubbing lavender oil all over her limbs to try and soothe the pain from standing. Seeing her slowly start to deteriorate in front of your very eyes was possibly the worst part about it all - and how she’d whine and cry while walking around the house. Even Taffy could sense that something was wrong when her friend no longer had the energy to play with her anymore.

Throughout all of it, you avoided the phone calls. And they could be from only one ID - since you didn’t have any friends or family members who cared enough about you to call three times a day. Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic called you without fail, and they were adamant about getting in contact. No doubt Chan was on the other line the whole time, trying to talk some sense into you.

But you just couldn’t do it - couldn’t bring yourself to walk through those doors and face the dark road ahead that most-assuredly lead to death. Because you had already extensively researched the therapy for treating Nyx’s kind of cancer, and it was looking quite bleak. The procedures were so fucking expensive, it baffled you how anyone in their right mind could be able to afford such things.

Everything changed though, when on one Saturday night, you arrived home late from running errands and found Nyx sprawled out on your living room’s small, rickety couch. You scurried over to her side and shook her awake. But she wouldn’t open her eyes. And it seemed like she was hardly breathing. You called out to her again and again, startling Taffy of your presence.

When finally, Nyx awoke. After much pleading and crying, she opened her eyes lazily and stretched.

And so it was decided right then and there, that you’d go into the clinic that night.

You couldn’t afford to put it off any longer, and frankly, you had the feeling that Nyx couldn’t either. It was getting close to eight o’clock in the evening, and the clinic closed its doors for the weekend right at eight, so you made quick haste out of your dingy hell-hole-of-an-apartment.

When you arrived at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic, the entire place was dark. You peeked through the windows and noticed the empty waiting room. “No, no- no…” You muttered to yourself, checking the time on your phone and reading that it was a little past eight.

You quickly looked around the street, noticing how most of the shops were already closed up for the weekend. Feeling the panic rising inside of you, you began to furiously knock on the glass door of the clinic. If someone was back there, maybe you could get ahold of Dr. Lee and-

“Miss. Y/N?” You heard a friendly, faint voice say from somewhere to your side. Turning around to the sound of it, you came face-to-face with Dr. Lee himself. He had his doctor’s coat off and was dressed in his usual work clothes of slacks and a dress shirt. “What are you-”

You pressed your hands against your chest, trying to calm your heart that was painfully beating against your ribcage. “Dr. Lee- please, it’s… it’s Nyx.”

His brown eyes flashed across the length of your form, the fading sunset coloring his skin in an orange and pink kind of glow. “Come inside, it’s too cold out to be standing around like this.” He said, already moving to unlock the front door of the clinic. After all, it was early spring and the nights tended to grow on the cooler side of things once the sun dipped below the horizon.

“Okay, thanks,” you whispered, following behind him as the two of you shifted through the clinic. Dr. Lee made his way over to a cluster of chairs in the corner of the waiting room.

“Please, sit.” He pointed to the nearest chair and waited for you to get situated before taking the seat just beside you. “So, tell me what’s going on.”

And suddenly, you realized the gravity of the situation. You realized that it was just the two of you - Dr. Lee and you - sitting inside the clinic, alone. There weren’t any other clients around, there wasn’t Chan or Jeongin, or Yongbok. And all at once, it felt rather… intimate.

You squirmed in your seat, your shaking hands beginning to play with the worn hemline of your oversized hoodie. Taking a deep breath, you gathered up all of your courage and leveled your gaze on the nearby front desk that was placed in the center of the large waiting room. “Well, I-I got home today from running some errands, and I found Nyx lying on my couch. But it didn’t seem like she was napping like she normally does… and she, she wouldn’t wake up. I kept trying and trying and-” Your words came out all rushed and garbled, as the tears began to crest over your eyes and you felt your cheeks heating with the flush of emotion.

“Hey- hey, it’s okay… don’t push yourself, yeah?” Dr. Lee’s smooth voice did something to the broken part inside of you - caused something to stir and yet settle at the same time. “That must’ve been a very scary experience for you, so it’s understandable that you would be shaken up about it.”

And just like that, the guilt piled on even higher.

Because Dr. Lee had always been incredibly nice to you and your cats. He had always been there for you guys, through the ups and downs of life, and you felt so horrible for ignoring the clinic’s calls. Because you knew that the team at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic only wanted the very best for you and your cats… and especially, Dr. Lee.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring the clinic’s calls,” you suddenly blurted out, feeling the blush rise and pool in your ears at the feeling of Dr. Lee’s gaze landing on you - assessing your nervous state. Your thumbs continued to fiddle with the fabric at your waist, pulling and pulling. “I-I just didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to face the issue. But, I now realize how stupid that was- how stupid I’ve been about this whole thing-”

“Don’t ever say that again, Y/N. You’re not stupid, and Nyx having cancer isn’t your fault. This was something that was inevitable and nothing you could do was going to stop it.” Dr. Lee cut through your words. You tried to comprehend what he was saying, but instead, your brain was only repeating the same phrase over and over again.

Y/N,

Y/N-

Y/N.

He had used your name, without putting ‘miss’ before it. He had never done such a thing in the past. He had always kept things professional and addressed you by your proper title - just like you had done for him.

But all at once, you realized that perhaps you didn’t mind it at all. And perhaps, his dropping the honorifics wasn’t so bad.

“Still, I’m sorry for not answering the calls,” you said, shaking your head slowly in defeat. You were desperately trying to battle the furious blush that was slinking up your neck at the way that he had said your name. It sounded so perfect and beautiful on his tongue, like-

“I was the one making all of those calls, and I can assure you that I didn’t take your silence to heart. I understand what you’re going through right now because I’ve experienced something similar in the past with one of my passed cats.”

At that, your eyes tore away from the front desk and landed on Dr. Lee. Your gazes locked, and inside his chestnut-brown eyes, you found so many different emotions there… compassion and gentleness. There was a certain kind of faded light there, as you stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. I just assumed that it was Chan or Jisung…”

Dr. Lee shrugged his proud shoulders nonchalantly, like him calling you three times a day to try and work out a treatment plan for Nyx wasn’t that big of a deal.

When in actuality,

No one in your entire life had ever tried so frantically to get ahold of you.

And the fact that it was him- behind the phone, waiting for you to pick up, hearing your voicemail click on every time the dial failed… just made you feel even worse.

“But that’s all in the past now, so don’t worry about it anymore,” Dr. Lee began, waving a hand in the air to seemingly try and clear your thoughts away. You watched in silence, then, as his hand slid away from his lap and hovered over yours. In a single beat, his fingers were threading through yours, palm against palm. And his hand was so incredibly warm and familiar. “Now, let’s instead focus on Nyx’s treatment, yeah? The sooner we can give her the help she needs, the better.”

For a few seconds, the thoughts of your dying childhood best friend had vanished from your mind and were instead replaced with the feeling of Dr. Lee’s hand holding yours and the way that his tongue formed your name, and the way he smelled - sitting so close to you - of warm chamomile and sweet cookies.

Immediately, at the mention of Nyx, you felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes once more. “I-I don’t have the money.”

Silence filled the space around the two of you after that, and you felt Dr. Lee’s gaze studying your form, as you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “You mean for her treatment?”

“Y-Yeah… I, I don’t make that much. I can barely afford her and Taffy’s regular bills as it is. But, having to pay for the cancer treatment on top of everything else? I-I just don’t think I can manage that.”

You felt Dr. Lee shift in his seat beside you, making your eyes spring open as you watched the pained expression cast over his entire face. It darkened his cheekbones, shooting a look of pity through his eyes.

“The treatment is really expensive, I’m afraid.”

The hiccups started then, as the tears traced down your cheeks faster. Your entire body shook with the cries, “This is why I didn’t want to come here again… I didn’t want to hear the news that nothing else could be done except- except that.”

It was like the fucking jumbo-sized elephant in the room…

The fact that- the only other solution to Nyx’s cancer would be to put her down.

To euthanize her.

Gone, forever.

Just like that.

And even though you weren’t naïve enough to think that your cat would live forever, saying goodbye to her in such a way just felt downright… cruel, after everything that the two of you had been through together. But... what other choice did you have? It's not like anyone else was going to pay for the expensive treatment, and your insurance sure as hell didn't cover pet fees. And on top of all that, you couldn't expect Dr. Lee to drop his prices exponentially just for your specific case. That'd just be downright cruel to his other customers that paid the exact amount.

“I’m afraid you’re right,” Dr. Lee’s words cut through your stormy thoughts. A sharp pain coursed through your broken heart, as you were forced to come to terms with the problem at hand. “If you can’t afford the treatment, then the only other alternative is… euthanasia.”

You found yourself clutching onto his hand desperately, squeezing his fingers to death between yours, as you peered up at him through glassy eyes. “P-Please… just… just tell me you’ll do it. Because I-I don’t think I can handle it if-” Your voice seized in your chest at the thought of some stranger doing such a thing to your precious Nyx. It was already going to be extremely hard for you, but the thought of some other vet doing it just ripped your heart in two even more.

“We offer ethical euthanasia here, so, of course, I’ll do it,” Dr. Lee clutched a little harder on your hand, and the way that his warm, slender digits felt against yours did something to calm a rattling part inside of you. “Do you feel my hand? It is there, Y/N. And it will continue to be there throughout this entire process.”

The breath caught in your throat, forming a large lump there, as your eyes widened his way. Because there it was again, him calling you by your first name… with no ‘miss’ in front of it.

“T-Thank you… so much. I seriously don’t know what I’d do right now if it wasn’t for you and this wonderful clinic and all of the amazing staff here…” Your voice trailed off, as you felt the warmth of a flush creeping up into your cheeks.

“Yeah, well, that’s what we’re here for… to give as much support as we can to our clients.” Dr. Lee’s tone came out soft and quiet, it ghosted over the shell of your ear like an angel’s sweet whisper.

“I like it.”

You heard Dr. Lee take in a sharp breath at your disjointed words, but before he could ask the meaning behind them, you were talking again.

“You calling me by my first name, I mean… I like it, a lot, Dr. Lee.” Your eyes found him in the dim lighting of the room, and for a split second, you could’ve sworn that you saw… something flash deep in those chestnut-brown pupils.

But then all at once, it vanished, and he was giving you an easy smile, pearly white teeth on display. And pink, rosebud lips tugging up- wait, why were you thinking about his mouth?

“Me too,” he said in that delicate way of his, just as he squeezed your palm once more, “I really like it… Y/N.”

To be continued...

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©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

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planet-dusk · 8 months

Text

☆ making bad decisions for you ∘ b.c

chan fucked up, and now he's left to deal with the consequences. how does one find someone to help their sweet pup through her heat on such short notice? the first step: call jisung. the second step: stay on the straight path. he has this under control. at least that's what chan thinks, until you throw him a curve...

─── ☆ pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

─── ☆ length: 2.3k

─── ☆ warnings: puppy hybrid!reader, sub!reader, perv!chan, big dick chan, pillow humping, corruption, bondage, unprotected sex, breeding (like a lot), dirty talk, praise, pet names: baby, pup, puppy

─── ☆ note: 18+ minors dni. the characters don’t represent real idols; this is fiction for entertainment purposes only. fictional smut is not a reflection of real life ! always communicate with your partner and practice consensual and safe sex ‹33

Chan’s in over his head.

He knew this day would come. He should’ve been prepared. But he’s been so busy lately, and he didn’t keep track of your cycle — fuck, if only he could physically beat himself up for being the world’s shittiest owner.

And of course he can’t find the informational flyers anywhere, and he doesn’t trust the internet, the advice varying so wildly he isn’t sure what to believe. He could call the shelter, but he doesn’t want them to find out he messed up. What if they take you away from him?

So he calls the only experienced person he can think of: Jisung.

“I really don’t know what to do, Han, fuck! Please help…”

“Take a deep breath, it’ll be alright. It’s not your fault there’s a suppressant shortage. You sure you don’t want to…?”

“I can’t, it’s… it’s wrong,” Chan feels the panic rising in his chest again. He takes another gulp of air to calm his shaky nerves.

“Fine, okay, it was just a suggestion! No need to yell at me, lemme look into it. I'll find a stud for her and come over as soon as my shift’s done, okay? You try to stay calm in the meantime and do exactly as I've told you to. Can you do that?”

“I’m sorry, it’s - I’m a mess, I should’ve seen it coming, but thank you, Ji. Thank you. I owe you one.”

“No worries, bro. Good luck. Call me if you need any help.”

The call disconnects and Chan is left standing alone in the empty bathroom, his heart galloping in his chest. He failed you. But he needs to be there for you now. He's not proud of what he’s about to do, but you’ll understand. He has no other choice. When this is all over you’ll understand. Please, you have to…

“Please forgive me, Y/N,” he whispers and unlocks the door.

As soon as he steps out of the bathroom Chan’s thrown off balance by your body slamming into his. “Channie, sir, please,” you whimper, pressing yourself tighter against his side and wrapping your arms around his neck. Chan feels a blush rise to his cheeks and turns his head away, swallowing harshly.

“Let’s go to your bedroom, pup.”

You yelp excitedly and dart off, throwing yourself on the bed. Your tail wags against the sheets and Chan can’t help but smile. When he was a little kid he always thought he’d get a wolfdog hybrid, or a big husky, but then he saw you at the shelter: a little cream coloured mutt with soft ears and a fluffy tail, and he knew he had to bring you home.

You’re watching him rummage through his nightstand, head cocked and ears pointed. “‘t hurts, Channie, please hurry,” you roll on your back and stay there, skirt sliding down your thighs and almost exposing your panties. Chan coughs.

“I know, baby, Channie’s here to make it all better,” he mumbles and fishes a pair of padded handcuffs out of the drawer. “Just give me your hands, okay?”

You give him a puzzled look but comply, letting him attach the cuffs to the headboard. “I'm so sorry, puppy, I'm sorry,” he whispers, avoiding your eyes.

Then he turns around and hurries out of the room, closing the door behind him with a soft but resolute thud.

Your frustrated howls are loud enough to reach the living room and he flinches. Every noise you make pierces his soul and adds to the pool of guilt in his gut. He had to do it, Jisung told him so — keep her safe, tie her up somewhere, otherwise she might hurt herself. It’s for her best interest.

Chan knows, but why does it hurt him so much? He checks his phone, looking for a distraction. Two hours left until Jisung’s shift is done. Surely he can find a stud before the end of the day, right? Jisung knows so many people. He said everything would be fine. Chan just has to relax and trust him.

He takes another deep breath and turns on the tv, mindlessly going through the channels. He checks his phone again. 5 minutes have passed. Time’s never felt this slow.

Eventually he settles on a documentary about tiger hybrids. He almost succeeds in focusing on the (terrible but entertaining) storyline when he notices your howls have changed into softer, breathier sounds. They almost sound like… moans? Chan thinks. He feels his cock stir. He shifts on the couch and stares at the tv, but the screen is a blur and he doesn’t hear a word the voiceover says.

The noises continue and Chan grows more restless. How…? He looks at his phone again. 90 minutes left.

With growing curiosity, Chan’s feet lead him to your bedroom almost involuntarily. Your noises have grown softer, little moans and whimpers drifting through the door. With a quiet click he opens it and peeks his head around.

You’re sitting on the bed, awkwardly positioned with your hands still chained to the headboard. Somehow you’ve managed to maneuver one of the pillows between your spread knees. You’re grinding down on it, fluffy tail causing your skirt to ride up. From his position in the doorframe Chan catches a glimpse of your white panties hugging your ass.

The noises you’re making range from whiny to plain frustrated, the friction not enough to satisfy you. When you bend over to try and find a better position, Chan sucks in a breath, cock swelling at the sight of your soaked panties. You’re so wet the gusset has become almost see through, clinging to the outline of your pussy.

Chan shouldn’t be here. He should leave before you notice him, before it’s too late. He should go back to the living room, put on his headphones and wait for Jisung to arrive. Let him sort it out. Get you a handsome dog hybrid to help you through your heat.

“Chan?” your voice is soft, halting his train of thought. “Please…”

He’s not sure if it’s your broken plea or something else that compels him to move, but Chan steps into your room. Your tail starts to wag slowly and you drop to your elbows, presenting yourself to him. From this distance Chan can see the tantalizing curve where your thighs meet your ass, the spot he wants to lick and suck and tease…

“‘s okay, puppy, Channie’s here.” There’s still time to leave. But you’re looking back at him with your pretty eyes — how could he say no to his sweet pup? He wants to protect you. Keep you safe. Jisung and his stud be damned.

“I’m so sorry I did this to you, Y/N. I panicked.”

His hand strokes your thigh and you sigh into his touch. “Don’t leave me again, Channie. Promise.”

Chan shakes his head. “It was a mistake, I promise, I’m here with you now pup. Let me help you.”

You mewl when his fingers graze your clothed slit. “Sir, ‘s hurting, don’t make me wait any longer, need you to breed me now, please,” you trail off, grinding back against his hand.

Normally Chan would take his time to explore your body, tease you until you’ve cum at least twice before he’d give you his cock. But he hears the urgency in your voice, your pained little whimpers as you tug at your restraints.

And it’d be a lie to say he hasn’t fantasized about this before. Late at night in his own bedroom while he tried to muffle his moans, unsure of what your sensitive ears could pick up.

Chan slides your panties down your thighs with shaky hands. Your pretty cunt’s all puffy and glossy with your slick and it drips down his fingers when he pushes two inside.

Your reaction is instantaneous, a pleasant gasp as you arch your back for him. “Need more, need your cock, need it now,” you plead again.

“You sure you can take it, puppy?”

Chan rolls his plush bottom lip between his teeth. He doesn’t want to hurt you.

“‘Mmm don’t care, make it fit,” you pout and wag your tail for him, “Channie.”

He’ll never tire of hearing his name like this. A broken sound, filled with so much need it goes straight to his head.

He chucks off his pants and his boxers, hard cock springing free and slapping against his abdomen. He slides the tip over your slit to wet it, holding your hips to keep you still. Then he sheathes himself in your dripping heat inch by inch, whispering soft praises into the air between you.

“Just like that, puppy, don’t move. Gonna fill you up so good baby, let me take care of you.”

Chan knows he’s big, watches your pretty hole stretch to accommodate him. He groans at how wet and warm you feel. It’s even better than he imagined. When you shift forward on your knees he growls, “Where do you think you’re going, pup? I'm not even halfway in yet.”

He pushes in deeper, watches you arch your back even more. “Channie, so full,” you pant when he finally bottoms out, stilling for a moment to catch his breath. The sensation of your soft, velvety cunt around him is overwhelming all his senses.

“Yeah? Is my puppy nice and full?”

“Wanted - wanted this for so long,” you say and his heart makes a little leap. He knows it’s just your heat-clouded mind talking, the hormones making you more susceptible to his presence. But there’s a small part of him that dares to hope you’re speaking the truth.

“Yah - wanted my sir, my Channie,” you nod when he starts moving, holding tight onto the handcuff’s chain. He briefly considers removing them, but you don’t seem to mind being tied up like this, pushing back on his cock like the neediest little thing he’s ever seen.

My Channie.

“I want you too, Y/N,” he groans and you hum at the sound of your name. “Can’t stay away from you - my pretty baby… knew it from the day I brought you home.”

You’re moaning every time his hips meet yours, soft uh-uh-uh’s like music to his ears. Your pussy is gushing around his length, and Chan’s not sure how long he’s going to last if you keep clenching down on him like this.

“Fuck, puppy - you’re hugging my cock so tight,” he lands a playful smack on your ass, “want me to breed you that bad, huh? Want me to stuff you full with pups?”

He tilts your hips to reach even deeper, fat cock slamming into you with force. You’re slumping against the mattress and he hovers over your back to nip at your ear, eliciting another moan from you. The soft fur of your tail tickles his abs but Chan is too focused on the erratic pulsing of your walls around him.

“Are you going to cum for me, baby? I can feel you’re close, just let go. I’ve got you. Channie’s got you. My good girl.”

You sob and he feels your release gush around him, fucking you through your high with renewed vigor. You’re a blabbering mess, unable to form words except for “Channie,” “please,” and “fuck.”

“Did my puppy lose her tongue?” He grins. “Getting all dumb on my cock after one orgasm, and I haven’t even bred you yet, baby.”

“Please…need it,” you whisper into the sheets, “need you to cum inside, please, sir.”

Even with his weight pressing you into the bed you’re still angling your hips up more, and Chan buries his face into the crook of your neck. You smell so good, like vanilla and the heady scent of sex. “I always keep my promise, pup, I’m going to breed you so well you’ll feel it dripping out of you for the next three days.”

You turn your head just enough to catch his gaze, your eyes so glossy and fucked-out Chan loses all composure. He ruts into you one, two more times before ropes of thick cum paint your inner walls and tumble you headfirst into another orgasm.

His thighs are shaking, your cunt milking him of every last drop until he’s a panting mess on top of you. For a moment the two of you lay still, breathing heavily, until Chan realizes you’re still chained to the bed. He pulls out and you mumble something when you feel his cum drip out of you, rubbing your thighs together.

Chan unclasps the handcuffs and kisses your wrists, hugs you close and captures your lips with his own. They’re so soft, needy little sounds already escaping you again as you rut against his thigh. “Need more, Channie.”

“Insatiable little thing,” he grins and traces your puffy cunt with his fingers. “Can’t get enough, can you?”

He slips one finger in your sensitive hole just as the doorbell rings. You look up in surprise, eyes wide and ears darting in all directions.

Chan kisses you again. “Ignore the bell, pup. I’m not going anywhere. Made a promise, remember? Need to breed you nice and round. Maybe make you beg a little more for it,” he chuckles, “let me see how needy you can really get.”

You’re grinding down on his thigh now and Chan doesn’t care how long he has to stay here with you, he’ll give you whatever you want. He’ll spend days holed up inside your nest if he has to.

You grab his shirt and pull him closer, and the blaring sound of his ringtone rips him out of his reverie.

He rolls over with a groan and hits the green button, cutting off Jisung’s voice. “It’s already taken care of, Ji. Thank you.”

“Wha —? You sly dog!”

Chan throws his phone into a corner and rolls you onto your back, slotting himself between your thighs with a smile. “Don’t worry, pup. I won’t let anyone else touch you ever again.”

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids hard hours #skz hard hours #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids headcanons #skz headcanons #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #sub!reader #dom!idol #;skz longfic #tw: perversion

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majorbaby · 1 year

Note

Feel free to ignore if it's been too long or you're not vibing with it but I'm very curious so I want to throw out a few more for the wip ask game: the one where Trapper goes to Illinois, margaret longfic, hawkeye and margaret commiserate over lost loves, and BJ goes to maine (derogatory). pick any/all of them.

thank you :) the one where Trapper goes to Illinois - rated G - at Radar's behest, Trapper visits Henry's widow. margaret longfic - rated M - follows Margaret from beginning to end of the war - i intend for it to be one long character study. the excerpt is hawkeye/margaret, just mentioning that in case it's not your thing. lots of ships appear in this one, margaret/frank, margaret/donald, margaret/hawkeye (none of these are endgame) but i've also got strictly platonic BJ/Margaret and Klinger/Margaret chapters... I'm playing with the idea of the different Margaret 'phases' being marked by who she's with. the margaret/frank years, the margaret/donald fever dream months, the margaret/charles weirdness and the eventual margaret-and-hawkeye-are-friends-now years that take us through to the end. i hope to turn that on its head by the end. hawkeye and margaret commiserate over lost loves - rated T - started writing this when i was super into hawkeye being very mopey about BJ lol. idk if i'll finish it because i don't think i believe that hawkeye would be broken up over an unrequited love for too long. I can really tell I wrote this early on in my mash days, because hawkeye and margaret both ring OOC to me reading this back. BJ goes to maine (derogatory) - rated M - postwar hawkeye/omc established relationship and then BJ shows up and causes problems. this actually started as a gift for you after you mentioned you would be into this premise lmao, i didn't realize you were writing it yourself and didn't mean to steal it from you. CW for what i intended to be dubcon in this. excerpts here:

the one where Trapper goes to Illinois

“Maybe you should go see her too, sir,” says Radar quickly. He seems to know he can say just about anything to Trapper without wearing out his welcome, but is still nervous to make the suggestion.

Trapper sighs. “She wouldn’t wanna see me Radar. And don’t call me sir. We’re not in Korea anymore.”

“You’re still older. You and Colonel Blake–”

“Henry.”

“You and him were closer in age you know? She might like seeing you. You guys were friends. And you would always kick me out whenever yous were watching those movies, or talking about–”

“Walter…” Trapper makes a face. The name doesn’t taste right. “Radar, I don’t think she wants to hear about any of the stuff we got up to. Henry probably didn’t even mention me at all.”

Radar seems to get frustrated, he rubs one eye underneath his glasses and tries another angle, “You were the last person to see him other than me that’s here. I can’t exactly ask Hawk–”

“All right! If it means you won’t show up here unannounced again, eat all the ham and cheese for my kids’ lunches and have my wife fussing over you like you’re a stray cat then fine.” Trapper drains the rest of his beer in one swig. “I’ll go visit in a few weeks.”

“August 20th weekend?”

“What about it?”

“Could you visit August 20th weekend?”

“You gonna book my flight?”

“No. It’s just that I told Mrs. Blake you’d visit August 20th weekend.”

“Radar!--”

Trapper is so exasperated at this point he feels he could actually strangle his Iowan houseguest, but at that very moment, his wife sticks her head out of the kitchen and begins to ask, “More juice?” *** margaret longfic

The thing about Hawkeye is nobody is just a warm body to him, nobody he meets can remain anonymous to him, nurse, patient, colleague or otherwise. It’s infuriating to her, his unending well of empathy and openness. It’s unmilitary, which she knows he doesn’t care a whit about, but it’s emasculating too and that, she thinks, he ought to mind.

She remembers her first time, all fumbles and guesswork and suddenly, somehow, something inside of her. The suddenness of it is what she remembers clearly and it’s reinforced by Frank and Donald. It’s not that she hadn’t enjoyed it, it’s just that she hadn’t known it could be different. But it’s different with Hawkeye.

Hawkeye fucks like he doesn’t want you to think of it as fucking, which Margaret finds offensive. He spends time that they don’t have at her neck and her breasts and annoyingly, at parts of her that do nothing for her sexually like her forehead and the skin over her ribs. When he finally puts it in her, the way God intended it, his hips undulate too slowly for her liking and his grasp on her middle is firm but not demanding.

He’s too present, and it makes her present too. She’s aware of every touch he applies to her, she feels him enter and leave over and over, and whenever he’s inside her fully there’s a moment where nothing happens, like those few seconds after an inhale before the exhale begins - he is breathing her in and out. There’s no time for that. She wishes he’d just fuck her in the sensible, appropriate manner she’s accustomed to.

He goes to bring his hand to just above where they’re joined, but she bats it away, I’ll do it myself, and he chuckles and doesn’t put up a fight at all, because he understands her and still enjoys her. Maybe he’s the only remaining person in the camp who does. She’s a do-it-yourself kind of woman. Do it all by yourself.

He’s half-kissing, half-whispering against her temple and she lets it go because as with her and her self-sufficiency, he can’t help himself. He’s a lover and a fool. Hawkeye tries to love her and make love to her, even if she won’t have it and can’t accept it. And to his credit, he doesn’t ever pressure her to. He’s only doing what comes natural to him. *** hawkeye and margaret commiserate over lost loves

“Well, what are you going to do about this?” asked Margaret after some time.

“Margaret there’s nothing to do.”

“You could tell him how you feel.”

“Why would I do a stupid thing like that?”

“You do it all the time, Pierce.”

As Hawkeye thought about this, he grew even more self-conscious. His eyes started to shift and his back stiffened up again.

“Do you think he knows?” he asked finally in the lowest tone he could muster.

“Even if he has an inkling, he’d never assume such a thing. You’d have to whack him over the head with it. Or tell him with your words.”

“How do you know?”

“I told you, I know everything,” then seeing the pleading look he gave her and appreciating how rarely he gave her such a look, she relented, “BJ’s not like us Hawkeye. He feels things just as deep, but he’s not always aware of it. And… and even if he was aware of it, that’s different than allowing it, or embracing it.”

It felt to Hawkeye like she was saying that BJ couldn’t embrace him, not for as long as Hawkeye couldn’t or wouldn’t use words to express himself. And then, maybe not even if Hawkeye did take that leap…

“Since you’re so smart,” Hawkeye stacked his tray atop hers and motioned for her to follow him out into the night, where he continued, “What do you think BJ might say if I were to… you know, use my words.”

Margaret made him wait for the response. He thought she might be thinking on it as they walked together in the general direction of her tent. As they walked, their arms brushed together, and Hawkeye naturally slipped his arm into the crook of her elbow. She allowed it, which wasn’t a good sign for him. He had to hold his breath whenever Margaret allowed him to be affectionate with her, even as a friend. Or especially as a friend. When she was friendly with him, it was because there was a blow coming from some unseen place and she liked him enough to try to soften it. ***

BJ goes to maine (derogatory)

BJ’s mind does a funny thing where it moves a mile a minute, but is focused on only one thing. It’s like when he’d first hit empty road coming out of San Francisco. Hours and hours on his bike, the peripherals whizzing by fade into nothing, until all he can see is a single fixed point in front of him.

Right now the whole world is a blur but for Hawkeye, there in the middle of BJ’s focus. It’s a nice place to be. Forced to look forward, there’s neither a war nor a wife left behind that he can remember clearly.

“Beej?” says Hawkeye, and BJ wonders if his name had always sounded like that coming from Hawkeye’s mouth. Honeyed.

BJ steps closer. Hawkeye has set down his book on the half of the double bed that is undisturbed, and he’s squinting at BJ in the low light of his reading lamp.

“Can’t sleep.” BJ says, taking another step closer, so that he’s standing directly in Hawkeye’s light.

Hawkeye clears his throat. “Need a some water?” he smiles. “A warm glass of milk? What do you do with Erin? Like father, like–”

BJ sits suddenly and looks at Hawkeye sharply. The action cuts off Hawkeye’s sentence.

“Please don’t…” BJ struggles. His focus shakes a bit, but the image doesn’t change. It’s still Hawkeye. “What’s wrong?” asks Hawkeye, innocently. He’s probably thinking BJ’s had a nightmare. Or else he thinks BJ can’t get to sleep in the first place.

“Nothing.” BJ surges home, towards his anchor, towards the beacon of light that’s always been there at the end of a long, dark tunnel. It’s taken shape at last. It’s Hawkeye, here with him, in the peace and quiet of his childhood home. He cups Hawkeye’s face with one hand as he kisses him. It feels strange to have stubble beneath his hand while he does this. But he can get used to it, he’s sure. It can grow on him. It will, because it’s Hawkeye. They’re finally back together again.

With one knee up on Hawkeye’s bed, BJ is painfully aware of the swelling in his pants, but can’t bring himself to be embarrassed about it. Not even when he shifts his weight all onto Hawkeye, and they go tumbling onto the bed, and he’s sure Hawkeye can feel his erection through the thin bedspread and their pajamas. He hasn’t allowed himself to imagine this moment, so he just goes based on instinct and maybe a few memories of being in the backseat of his father’s Chrysler. He thrusts against what he thinks might be the inside of one of Hawkeye’s thighs, or maybe it’s the lower part of his torso. Wherever it is on him, it feels good.

#thanks :)#my fic #hawkeye x bj #margaret x hawkeye #mash #ask game #replies #i might poke you about the margaret fic sometime but it wouldn't be for a long time

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bucketorandomness · 1 year

Note

I would ADORE some solid BNHA/My Hero Academia recs if you have any! I’m in dire need of a good longfic to commit to 🥲

Your wish is my command! I have a lot of these, so check them out under the cut >^.^<

((A small note, since I appear to have forgotten it: An "Inactive" fic is one whose last update was ~2 years ago with no mention of either Hiatus or Abandonment))

Edit: Fam, Tumblr keeps posting this without my permission, so this is gonna update quite a bit before I’m through. I’ll let y’all know when I finish properly!

Edit 2: We did it! All done! Hopefully the next rec list isn’t quite so awkwardly executed XD

So, first up we're gonna filter results to be just fics with at least 50k words or more ((that's a whole novel!!)) I'll provide approximate novel counts along the way. I'll also see if I can't give these a bit more of a sense of order in case you're looking for anything more specific later.

Starting strong with Fics That Don't Have Plot-Relevant Romance

A Little Luck From a Black Cat Vigilante (1 novel. Incomplete) Izuku decides helping others can't wait for a license and becomes the vigilante they called Black Cat. Also the hacker Zuk, that earns a bit of a soft spot with the heroes. How will UA and Aizawa handle a sassy and confidant Izuku?

Adoption is the Solution (2 novels. Angst. Incomplete) A series where Izuku is a rough kid who acts more like an alley cat. Eraserhead has always been the kind to take strays home for some love and affection.

AllMightAllTheTime said at 12:13pm: (1 novel. Inactive) Izuku is inspired by his online friends to start a channel called "Heralytics" that accidentally gets some massive traction since it's genuine analysis and humor instead of the mainstream reality TV "news" stations.

Insincerely Yours (1 novel. Angst. Inactive) In an effort to create a rehabilitation program for villains, eight UA students take part in a pen pal trial run where they are assigned a random, anonymous villain to correspond with. Todoroki finds his pen pal to be startlingly similar to him.

Internet Enemies (1 novel. Angst. Inactive) Izuku doesn't get much positive interaction in his daily life, so he turns to the internet to fulfil those needs, where unfortunately he turns into a kind of Vigilante and gets forced into a touch of Villainy, but everything's fine!

Kamino's Ward (1 novel. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku Midoriya worked hard during the rise of Quirks to help defend his people from the government. Now, he wakes in a time not his own, suddenly a venerated historical figure. Lost on literally everything, Izuku dances between All Might attempting to make the boy his successor and All for One, who really just wants his son back.

Kitsune, the Night Watcher (1 novel. Angst. Incomplete) Midoriya Izuku died 6. Akatani Mikumo died at 11. Kitsune is the Watcher of the Night, a Vigilante. When he's given the opportunity of a lifetime, nobody expects things to spiral out of control quite as spectacularly as they do. At least Izuku's misery is entertaining.

Love Letter Analyst (1 novel. Incomplete) When U.A.’s hero class 1-A started to find binders on their desks, there were two notable things about them: one, that the analysis in them was creepy but insightful; two, included in the back of each notebook was a small, folded up letter with sweet compliments and gushing, more personal, comments about the people behind the quirks. Mina promptly dubbed them the “Love Letter Analyst.” Deep in the support labs, Izuku sneezed.

Missing Everything (1 novel. Angst. Inactive) Izuku misses a very important reveal and ends up with a villain-filled soda bottle instead. In the ensuing chaos, he befriends someone named Toshinori Yagi. All Might misses the chance to make a snap decision and ends up mentoring a very heroic, very determined child who has no idea who he really is.

Once in a Blue Moon (A Feather Will Float Down to Earth) (1 novel. Incomplete) Izuku is 1A's Guardian Angel. He's a little over-enthusiastic about doing is job, though, and his superiors aren't too happy with how hands-on his approach is.

What We Cannot Undo (1 novel. Angst. Complete) There's a new vigilante in town. The news dubs him Specter. Eraserhead wants to know who this "ghost" is and why the kid keeps following him (and his new class) all over the city. Nedzu wants a new student. Bakugou Katsuki wants redemption. Midoriya Izuku wants one more chance to change his mind.

Wisteria Floribunda (1. Angst. Inactive) Izuku has an immortality Quirk, despite his Quirkless diagnosis. After watching his mother die, he does his best to become a vigilante feared by more than just the villains.

With Confidence (1. Incomplete) Izuku is hit with a confidence quirk that really messes with his Scared, Quirkless, Deku image at Aldera and beyond.

Zutopia (1. Complete) As a young, quirkless genius, Izuku turns to the internet for stimulation and entertainment. Completely unrelated, but Nedzu has made his first human friend in a very long time. Maybe they should meet without a screen between them.

A Happy Medium (2. Inactive) Izuku lost everything. He's not sure if it was his Quirklessness, himself, or the ghosts that were to blame. No matter! He'll become a Hero anyway. Helps when he finds a couple very tired friends to help him.

Blindfolded Birdie (2. Angst. Complete) Keigo is rescued from the Hero Public Safety Commission as a child, but it was not a smooth rescue. Now, he must deal with the aftereffects of his time with the Commission and manage his desires for the future.

Cat Days (2. Angst. Complete) A series where Izuku has a shapshifting quirk he struggles to control and ends up stuck in cat form. Aizawa, of course, is willing to adopt weird stray cats at the drop of a hat.

Complicated Creation (2. Angst. Complete) Midoriya Izuku is medically quirkless, not technically homeless, perpetually exhausted, and doing his best. He also sees spirits, which might be cool if not for the fact that a) no one else does, b) they really don't like him very much, and c) he's pretty sure the Heroes now think he's a Villain working for the League.

Dāku, The Hero in Plain Sight (2. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku got lost trying to escape his bullies and found Eraser beat up on his way back. He accidentally kidnapped what appears to be a sentient scarf and decided it was a good enough sign to start his serious journey to Heroics. Good thing he's got all of Jr High.

Detective Midoriya (2. Incomplete) All Might told him to become a police officer, and while his dream has been thoroughly cushed, Izuku has always been an over-achiever at heart, and this is a way he can still help people!

Out of Sight, Out of Mercy (1 novel. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku was 5 when he was diagnosed quirkless. He was 8 when he lost his sight. For years, everyone had told him to give up on his dreams of being a Hero. But when did a couple little obstacles ever stop him? It's time for the Vigilante Akuma to rise.

Secondary Colors (1 novel. Angst. Incomplete) Hitoshi transfers to a new middle school and finds the local punching bag to be far better friend material than their explosive Most Likely To Top Hero Charts classmate.

Severance (1 novel. Inactive) Izuku Midoriya has All for One, but everyone around him mistakes it for an erasure quirk.

Smile and Spite (1 novel. Incomplete) A second Sludge Villain encounter never happens, and Izuku Midoriya goes Vigilante in order to take advantage of one of UA's lesser known means of enrollment.

The Capture Scarf Caper (1 novel. Inactive) Izuku found Eraserhead's capture scarf in an alleyway while trying to find the man himself and decided to take it home. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, so hopefully the hero won't be too upset if he ever finds out about a certain Vigilante look-alike.

The Forest Thing (1 novel. Complete) The Bakugou family go on a camping trip for the weekend and come home with a new family member, one who isn't exactly human.

The Mystery of Student No.18 (1 novel. Angst. Complete) After receiving One for All, Izuku gets caught in an accident before the start of UA's term. Stuck in a coma, Izuku astral projects to attend class unseen. Meanwhile, 1A tries to solve the puzzle that is the empty seat of Student 18, who hasn't shown up once since the beginning of the year.

The Scarlet Thief (1. Angst. Complete) Midoriya Inko discovered her husband was a Villain by the time Izuku was 7. Since then, Izuku's been working hard as the Scarlet Thief to support himself and get revenge on his dad with some assistance from Melissa Shield. With his promotion from Criminal to Villain, though, Izuku's getting more attention from Heroes than he's ever had before.

To Be Human (1 novel. Angst. Inactive) Izuku has a Villainous blood-quirk, and he's willing to suppress the Villainous parts of him so long as he can be a Hero. Only, you can only bottle everything up for so long before something breaks.

Vigilantism of Olympic Proportions (2 novels. Angst. Incomplete) The Pantheon was quickly becoming one of the most successful vigilante organizations of all time, and with little to no information on them, the HPSC is getting antsy.

With Confidence (1. Incomplete) Izuku is hit with a confidence quirk that really messes with his Scared, Quirkless, Deku image at Aldera and beyond.

Feral (2. Angst. Inactive) Izuku is abandoned in the local forest, where he grows up and does good by what he understands the definition to be. Doesn't mean Adults don't get concerned when they find a feral child out on his own.

Here We Go Loopty Loo (2. Angst. Incomplete) Something has gone wrong. The Hell Class makes it all the way to graduation, only to wake up on the first day of 1A. Again. And again. And again. And again.

In the Nick of Time (2. Angst. Incomplete) A series where Izuku has a Quirk that teleports him to safety, and he uses it primarily to jump off buildings and get a nice adrenaline rush like a normal person.

Leviathan (2. Angst. Hiatus) Izuku's only used his quirk once. He was 4 when he took 32 lives. He's sworn never to let that power possess him again. He hides behind the mask of a useless, showy quirk, refusing any connection to the creature recognized as the Leviathan. Lies don't last forever, however.

The Wrong Right Hero to Kidnap (2. Complete) Hitoshi and Izuku are homeless, living on the run from the Yakuza with Eri, who can't control her Quirk, to Izuku's misfortune. When the young girl gets sick and her Quirk starts to get out of control, they decide the only way to help her is to kidnap a Hero who might be able to help them turn the Quirk off.

This is Your Life, There's no way to Run From It (2. Angst. Incomplete) In which Midoriya never receives One for All, becomes the vigilante Carbon Cat, and tries to keep everyone at arm's length. Doesn't mean they'll let him, though.

Viridian (2. Angst. Inactive) The world is ending, and the only chance to save it is to send Izuku Midoriya back to his 14 year old body. "When the time comes, give him this. You'll know he trusts you when he calls you Problem Child."

Who Said the Only Green Thing About him was his Hair? (2. Angst. Hiatus) Izuku decides that Kacchan was right, but he also knows that taking that swan dive would ruin Bakugou's chances of becoming a hero. Instead, he runs away where nobody can hurt him and he can provide all he needs out here in the woods.

Deku? I Think he's Some Pro... (3. Angst. Complete) Izuku gains himself a modest following online as a freelance analyst. The Pros who ask for his assistance don't know his age, Quirk status, or his dream to be a Hero.

Hawks-Sensei (3. Inactive) After the USJ, the Commission is concerned about the security of UA. Hawks does not want this job. He has many other jobs that need doing. The kids are kind of cool though.

Out of Sight, Out of Mercy (1. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku was 5 when he was diagnosed quirkless. He was 8 when he lost his sight. For years, everyone had told him to give up on his dreams of being a Hero. But when did a couple little obstacles ever stop him? It's time for the Vigilante Akuma to rise.

Secondary Colors (1. Angst. Incomplete) Hitoshi transfers to a new middle school and finds the local punching bag to be far better friend material than their explosive Most Likely To Top Hero Charts classmate.

Severance (1. Inactive) Izuku Midoriya has All for One, but everyone around him mistakes it for an erasure quirk.

Smile and Spite (1. Incomplete) A second Sludge Villain encounter never happens, and Izuku Midoriya goes Vigilante in order to take advantage of one of UA's lesser known means of enrollment.

The Capture Scarf Caper (1. Inactive) Izuku found Eraserhead's capture scarf in an alleyway while trying to find the man himself and decided to take it home. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, so hopefully the hero won't be too upset if he ever finds out about a certain Vigilante look-alike.

The Forest Thing (1. Complete) The Bakugou family go on a camping trip for the weekend and come home with a new family member, one who isn't exactly human.

The Mystery of Student No.18 (1. Angst. Complete) After receiving One for All, Izuku gets caught in an accident before the start of UA's term. Stuck in a coma, Izuku astral projects to attend class unseen. Meanwhile, 1A tries to solve the puzzle that is the empty seat of Student 18, who hasn't shown up once since the beginning of the year.

To Be Human (1. Angst. Inactive) Izuku has a Villainous blood-quirk, and he's willing to suppress the Villainous parts of him so long as he can be a Hero. Only, you can only bottle everything up for so long before something breaks.

Vigilantism of Olympic Proportions (2. Angst. Incomplete) The Pantheon was quickly becoming one of the most successful vigilante organizations of all time, and with little to no information on them, the HPSC is getting antsy.

Repeating/Rephrasing/Rewriting History (4. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku remembers being quirkless, knows how dangerous quirks have to be careful. He's seen and heard enough to know that not everyone is satisfied with the quirk they were born with. There is something he can do: take other people's quirks and give them away. It's a strange quirk, but he's found a way to help.

Useless Monster (3. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku, homeless at seven and alone from before then, is doing his best. That's difficult, though, when your Quirk turns you into a monster even Heroes are scared of.

Anyone (4. Incomplete) Despite the world being against him, Izuku tries to be a Hero. In the process, he accidentally creates a pseudo-criminal organization and not so accidentally steals One for All

Canary (5. Angst. Complete) Midoriya Izuku thought he was quirkless until he opened his mouth to sing, but he has terrible confidence in himself. It's a good thing a certain radio host thinks he's got the potential to be an amazing Hero.

If I Only Had a Heart (5. Angst. Inactive) Izuku is determined to be a Hero with his massive intellect, inventions, and a heart too big for a world that isn't friendly to the quirkless.

Pied Piper (5. Angst. Incomplete) After UA's rejection, Izuku picks up some colored contacts and a stray pipe and does his darndest to be the most efficient Vigilante out there. Things spiral rather spectacularly after that.

Live a Hero (6. Angst. Complete) "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Or, you're raised a villain, rebel when you're nine, and fight against the odds to become a hero anyway. That's how it is in Izuku's case.

For the Want of a Nail (6. Angst. Incomplete) A series of unrelated fics where Izuku gets to be both Quirkless and Badass in various epic ways. From Villain to Vigilante to Hero to Civilian, Midoriya Izuku goes Plus Ultra and makes quite a few waves doing it.

Congrats! You made it through the gen fics! Now it’s time for the fics with Plot Relevant Romance Involved!

Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead / Midoriya Izuku | Deku

Burn the World (Make a Home) (3. Angst. Incomplete) Midoriya Izuku, homeless Vigilante extrordinaire, is going to become a beacon in Hero Society alone and Quirkless, and then his soulmate decides to get involved and help him with his impromptu family.

Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead / Shirakumo Oboro | Loud Cloud / Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

Pied Piper (5. Angst. Incomplete) UA rejects Izuku, and he decides to become a quirkless Vigilante that fights with environmental weapons. To help him channel his inner Katsuki, he gets some red contact lenses, which works great until he's caught with only one lense in after a fight.

Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead / Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

A Light in the Darkness (1. Angst. Incomplete) A series where Izuku is homeless, has been for a while, and keeps the secret from even All Might. Aizawa, Yamada, and Shinsou find out and decide to help. "Well, Kacchan. It's not exactly a swan dive off a roof but,"

A Twisted Fate Never Alters Destiny (2. Angst. Complete) Aizawa Shouta suddenly finds himself homeless during his time as a Hero student. Inko Midoriya finds a homeless teen and decides he needs support and affection she can provide.

Black Cat Cafe (1. Angst. Complete) A bitter Aizawa makes cafe Switzerland, adopts 20 heroes-in-training, some villains, and Shinsou, then kicks All for One's ass into next week. And maybe falls in love.

Hide and Seek (5. Angst. Incomplete) The last thing that Izuku hears from his Mama is to hide. Izuku takes those words to heart, especially when his Quirk comes in. Meanwhile, Shouta learns that an owl has settled in his area.

Maybe Getting Kidnapped by Space Pirates was a Good Thing? (1. Incomplete) Tricked into launching an emergency escape pod he can't control, Izuku finds himself a space orc in a universe that is very much intimidated by him and his inability to communicate in Common.

Morals of a House Cat (1. Angst. Complete) Aizawa started life as nothing but a quirked kitten adopted by Inko Midoriya. At some point, he is hit with a quirk that makes him turn human. Now, he has to figure out how to person while taking care of his younger brother and balancing his desires to be a cat with his reality of being a person.

Through Thick and Thin (1. Angst. Incomplete) A series where Izuku has never been allowed to learn even the most basic things about being an Omega. From scenting to nesting to platonic cuddles, UA is willing to help him learn, especially those in his dorm. (Purely Platonic A/B/O Dynamics)

Throw me a Goddamn Rope - Just Enough to Hang Myself With (2. Angst. Incomplete) Aizawa has jumped to the past in an effort to prevent the Bad End by keeping Midoriya Izuku alive. Now, he has to wring All Might's neck for not telling him anything helpful before sending him decades into the past and a young Quirkless child hanging on his every word.

Takami Keigo | Hawks / Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

An Idiots Adventures in the Galaxy and the Friends he Made Along the Way (1. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku is a space orc, one of two kids accepted into the space program and abducted by aliens. At least his cell has trees. And company, even if they're a little scared of him.

Takami Keigo | Hawks / Todoroki Touya | Dabi

Darling, Thank God it's This Universe We're in (and you can Annoy me as Much as you Please) (1. Complete) Todoroki Rei divorces Endeavor and moves all four of her children into a small apartment next to a boy with wings as read as the hair of her eldest son.

Another Option (1. Angst. Complete) When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.

Omeletverse (1. Angst. Inactive) A series where Hawks lays an egg and all the shenanigans that follow.

Dabi | Todoroki Touya / Midoriya Izuku | Deku / Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko

Welcome to the Family (3. Angst. NSFW. Incomplete) While searching for a place to end it all, homeless Izuku stumbles upon a meeting of Villains. Intrigued by the skittish shrimp, Shigaraki offers him a second chance.

Bakugou Katsuki / Kirishima Eijirou

If We're Being Honest (1. Angst. Complete) Class 1A gets hit with a long-lasting truth quirk. Secrets are shared, some good and harmless, some not so much. Dark themes abound, but overall very comfy finish.

Bakugou Katsuki / Midoriya Izuku

Plunge Into Darkness, Bring in the Light (2. Angst. Inactive) Akatani Mikumo leads as happy a life as he can, being young, poor, and quirkless. Then, tragedy strikes, and he decides the best course of action is to survive on the streets and be a Hero there.

Midoriya Izuku / Sero Hanta

The League of Shirakumos (1. Angst. Inactive) A series where Izuku ends up turning the League of Villains into his very own Found Family on his journey to becoming the world's first Quirkless Hero.

Midoriya Izuku / Shinsou Hitoshi

AU Where U.A. is Actually Good at Their Job (5. Angst. Complete) When Izuku wakes up after the entrance exam, he expected to be accepted into U.A. by the skin of his teeth, or for All Might to demand his quirk back when he failed. What he wasn't expecting was a group of teachers who give a damn about his mental wellbeing.

Bandersnatch (1. Angst. Incomplete) After witnessing the apocalypse, Izuku wakes up 15 again and does his best to fix what broke the future while struggling with his now out-dated and jaded mindset that nobody seems to really understand

Before my Heart Gives Out (2. Angst. Complete) The same accident that killed his mother takes Izuku's sight from him and poisons his body in the same move. Now on a time limit, Izuku decides to become a Hero, even if it's an illegal one.

Here There be Dragons (1. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku's been a Quirk suppressants since his violent manifestation. The only issue is, his Quirk is sentient, mildly terrified of being suppressed again, and wildly possessive of his new Hoard of classmates at UA.

Residual Hope (5. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku lets the Sludge Villain abduct him, but it turns out the Villain was simply suffering from Quirk Withdrawl and kept killing people in his haste to ease the pain. Now with a regular body-buddy and mental health referee, Izuku works on becoming a Hero without a Quirk.

Ripples on Deep Water (1. Angst. Complete) When All Might crushes Izuku's dreams, he crosses the path of someone who rebuilds them. Izuku's going to be a Hero, even if it won't be exactly as planned.

Youtuber Deku AU (1. Incomplete) A series where Deku is a youtuber who's quickly gaining popularity, and Mindjack is his best friendand editor who may appear in his videos from time to time while Izuku and Hitoshi navigate through U.A.

Midoriya Izuku / Shinsou Hitoshi / Todoroki Shouto

Datastream (1. Angst. Complete) Datastream is a digital Vigilante knowsn by most of the Underground Heroes and many of the better Spotlight Heroes as a master of surveilance, information, and coordination. To one Underground Hero, though, Datastream is better known as Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta's nephew.

Don't Dead, Open Inside (1. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku Midoriya wasn't like other children, but the most troubling and off-putting part about him was that he had died when he was seven.

Dreamer (6. Angst. Incomplete) Izumi’s dreams don’t belong to her. They belong to the lights, the people who are in pain. She helps them, every night, trying to forget the color of her mother’s blood and the light of her fathers flame.

Net Neutrality (1. Angst. Incomplete) A series where Izuku beats the shit out of the Shie Hassakai and adopts Eri, then they live in a cafe together where Izuku develops a reputation as a vigilante and an info broker.

Player Two (1. Angst. Complete) Izuku has always been Tomura's emotional support center. The one to calm him and pacify his anger. It's what he was made for, but he's outgrowing more than just his clothes.

Reformation (3. Angst. Complete) Izuku is convinced his only future lies with the League of Villains. Paying room and board with analysis and hacking, he thinks all is fine until Toga and Izuku meet Eri. Tentatively, they put their futures in the hands of UA's villain reformation program.

Setting Hearts Aflame (1. Angst. Inactive) After being targetted by Villains for his powerful, emotion-driven fire Quirk, Izuku promises not to let anyone else get hurt, especially not like Inko now trapped in a coma.

The Grey Areas in Between (2. Angst. Incomplete) A series where Quirkless Izuku becomes the Vigilante hacker Grey Hat before making it into UA and falling in love. Oh, and also maybe becoming an official Hero on the way.

Midoriya Izuku / Todoroki Shouto

A Path to Recovery (1. Angst. Inactive) As Shouto begins his first year at UA, he's finally given a support system that wants to help him recover from his less than perfect childhood. Aizawa will figure out what Shouto's hiding, and 1A will make sure Shouto knows he's loved.

Awake and (Un)Afraid, Asleep Or- (1. Complete) Kirishima and Shouto accidentally start trending on Twitter and in retaliation, Shouto decides to make an Instagram to showcase all his Hero Deku merchandise, so that everyone knows how much he loves his boyfriend Izuku. No one expects how quickly it will all spiral out from there.

Bitch, I'm Incognito (3. Angst. Inactive) When a villain blew up Izuku’s apartment complex, everyone believed Endeavor when he said the young boy was dead. Except he wasn’t. With two friends and 6 years of vigilantism, he decides they’re going to Yuuei. As vigilantes. This is going to be fun.

Black Rabbit (3. Angst. Incomplete) For most people, waking up in the secret base of one of Japan's most wanted vigilantes would probably be terrifying. For Shouto Todoroki, it ends up being first stroke of luck he's ever had.

Come On Play Me Something (2. Angst. Complete) Midoriya Izuku's just trying to keep his head above water and the bills from piling up. For the extra cash, he rents out his spare bedroom on Airbnb and hosts a striking young pianist. Shouto's coldly polite, highly mysterious, and unwittingly determined to drag out all of Izuku's once buried ambitions.

Four for Two (3. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku loves his soulmates. All three of them. Not that they know he exists.

I'm Here (25 novels. Angst. NSFW. Incomplete) <The Longest Fic Midoriya never got One for All, but Shigaraki got to him. Midoriya slowly descends into insanity and takes his crush down with him. They follow the timeline of the canon plot, but not everything goes the same when the main character is on the other side.

I'm Unsavable (Please Save Me) (1. Angst. NSFW. Inactive) When Midoriya Izuku is kidnapped by All for One at the age of five, he is turned into a weapon. But, one day when he is on a mission, he happens to run into someone willing to help. Todoroki Shouto is abused. When he needs a hero the most, he finds a villain.

Light My Fire (5. Angst. Inactive) While recovering from the battle trials, Recovery Girl discovers mutations within Izuku that can only be explained by an unmanifested fire Quirk.

Maybe in Another Life (1. Angst. Complete) A young Izuku is "helped" by a woman whose quirk should just be a temporary experience ended once Izuku uses his quirk. The catch? Izuku doesn't have a quirk to use, and the experience only ends at his death.

Quirk: Knife! (9. Angst. Complete) Izuku winds up homeless with a knife and decides being a sass master Vigilante is close enough to being a Hero, right?

Save Me, I'm Drowning (1. Angst. Inactive) Inko says he's quirkless. The doctors say he's quirkless. Izuku knows his medicine is quirk suppressants, because the one day he didn't take them, he saved Katsuki's life.

Survival in Numbers (1. Angst. Complete) At 4, Izuku Midoriya arrives at an orphanage with no memories and meets Shinsou Hitoshi. At 8, they become vigilantes. At 10, they are the most wanted and well-known vigilantes in Japan. At 15, everything changes. Izuku accomplished all this without a Quirk. Or so he thought.

Sweater Weather (1. Angst. Inactive) A series where Izuku has a hoodie that he wears all the time, and Shouto is suddenly and irreversibly gay.

The Adventures of Chaotic Neutral Rat Bastard and Peppermint Boy (3. Angst. Inactive) A series where Dabi takes Shouto away from the Todoroki household and raises him while still trying to figure himself out.

Tightrope (5. Angst. NSFW. Complete) In a world where Izuku never meets All Might, never attends UA, he's still a stubborn problem child and ends up doing Hero stuff... more or less. He's a bit of a punk, and balances the tightrope between good and evil.

Widowmaker (5. Angst. Incomplete) Todoroki Rei divorces Endeavor and takes her four children into hiding. She later develops a bit of infamy as the deadly Widowmaker, a vigilante specializing in child and spousal abuse cases who shows no mercy to the perpetrators.

Midoriya Inko / Midoriya Hisashi

North Side of the Tree (1. Angst. Incomplete) Izuku is not human. He is, in fact, moss, a member of the fae that migrated to Japan centuries ago. He enjoys his life on the mountain and the young boy who comes to visit every year. That is, until the landslide took out his grove.

Midoriya Inko / Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Embers (2. Abandoned) Midoriya Izuku is born with a perfect combination of his parents' quirks. Given that he has literally the most impractical fire quirk in existence, becoming a Hero might be a little tricky.

Wow that is so many more fics than I thought I’d rec. And now, last but not least, I have Crossover Fics!!! ((I know you didn’t ask for them, but I’m on a roll now))

Avatar: The Last Airbender crossovers

The Notebook (1. Angst. Inactive) Todoroki Shouto / Zuko Izuku gives Shouto a journal for his birthday. The journal seems to write in itself, though, with maps of a place that doesn't exist. What happens when Shouto tries to contact the entity writing in the journal?

In His Element(s) (2. Angst. Complete) Aang chases some renegade spirits across world borders and makes some friends along the way. As one does.

Star Wars crossovers

You and What Army (1. Inactive) Midoriya Inko / Yagi Toshinori | All Might Midoriya Inko: Single Mother, Long Suffering Individual, and Renegade Jedi Master. When her son is declared Quirkless in a world that relies on them so much, she teaches Izuku the ways of the Force.

The New Normal (2. Angst. Complete) Midoriya Izuku comes from a long line of secret Force users. Reconciling that with living as a Quirkless person in a Quirked world is interesting at best-- and that was Before his dad tried to make him commit murder.

This has been a Bucket of Rec’s! Thank you for calling! Happy reading! >^.^<

#myhero academia #also smidges of #atla #space wizard laser sword #Your query has generated 104 results #Unforeseen benefits of this exercise have included:#the sudden introduction of a spellcheck #squishing unwieldy summaries more #and reminding me of good laughs like ''AU Where UA Is Good At Their Job''#tell us how you really feel lol #Anyway sorry for the mess this was attempting to post it the first time #lookit the pretty art #for further recommendations let your people contact my people >^.^<

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just-another-wasteland-merc · 2 years

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WIP Wednesday

Yoooooo guess what! I have DOUBLE WIP WEDNESDAY today! I got a huge jump on writing this past weekend and the other day (honestly I've been writing my butt off within the last few days). I've been so happy with it, even if the tone of both fic chapters are anything but.

I'll tag @adventuresofmeghatron , @electricshoebox , and @trashkingnyx , but you don't have to if you don't want to. I was just excited to share!

I will say this here: chapter 20 of Stimpaks is very very personal to me, and Em has my account of what I have health wise (a teeny bit better, but not much). So, I won't be sharing too much of it after today because I want it to be done before you all see it. But here it is!

“God.” MacCready’s arm tightened around her. “What can I do to help?”

“If it happens, I.. don’t know. I’ve.. never had any help.”

“Not even when you were married?”

Em stiffened instinctively. “I was left alone unless I was begging to go to the hospital.”

“Are you serious…”

When she looked up at him, he seemed furious. He glanced down at her, and his expression softened, but not much. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at him. For making you deal with it by yourself.” His eyes flicked slightly upward, and his hand moved from around her shoulder to move a stray lock of hair away from her face, then returned to her shoulder. His thumb stroked back and forth over the fabric of her hazmat suit.

The other one is from my new fic, A Minnow Amongst Sharks, which is my new Far Cry 5 longfic. I hope the fandom elders of this game enjoy, even though it's just a bit of the helicopter ride.

“No sir. I want you to understand the reality of the situation. Joseph Seed.. he’s not a man to be fucked with. We’ve had run-ins with him before, and they haven’t always gone our way, right kid?” The Sheriff nodded towards Marley.

Right, how could she forget the fight she almost was taken to the hospital for. If Whitehorse wasn’t there to save her, she may have ended up worse than just bruised and given a minor sprain in her elbow. Peggies and locals had caught her in the middle of trying to talk down the small crowd, but it quickly turned into a brawl. The only thing that scattered them was a single blast of Whitehorse’s shotgun shot straight into the air. The crowd left the poor rookie on the ground, nearly unconscious when he pulled her to her feet. Marley touched her jaw idly, and the tender flesh still stung. Burke looked her over, but seemed fixated on the large discolored patch of skin on her face. Marley looked away, embarrassed.

“Sometimes,” Whitehorse continued. “Sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone.”

#my writing #stimpaks and sniper rounds #a minnow amongst sharks #maccready #robert joseph maccready #fallout 4 #rj maccready #em and mac take the commonwealth #fallout4 #far cry 5 #sharky boshaw #charlemagne victor boshaw iv #mars and sharky #marley hendricks

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nimue-hidden-lake · 9 days

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The MASSIVE Izuann Ramble

More like an analysis but details....

This is an essay about the two I once wrote in a server. I adjusted it a little to make it more suitable to be a a massive essay. This is a long one so sit back and read at your own leisure. I will also reference my own longfic a lot so if curious or wanting more context, I recommend reading it.

I will start by laying down the tropes Izuann follows + a bit of writing development (as in how I changed it before the longfic):

This is just an intro. Here are the relationship charts I made. Apologies for the outdated songs. If it isn't JPop I only know like 5 songs.

Tropes used:

Enemies To Lovers

Childhood Friends (but they have no idea until like later into the story)

So uh can you say it is also Friends To Lovers? Probably... Maybe... I let you be the judge of that.

So the childhood friends thing was only added after I decided to go beyond a Love/Hate dynamic and actually allow this relationship to develop. Originally I intended for those to go the 'I hate you but I also love you' route but you can imagine how terrible of an idea that is. Sure, it is fun writing them argue but that can't be where this stands. Or else one would ask "Why the hell are you two dating!?" I needed more. So I thought of a few more plot points to work on and based the first longfic around those points. This allowed the two to develop and actually get to a healthy relationship.

I debated what approach to take so I think I will just go with a chronological approach here. Meaning we are first going to childhood, some noteworthy stuff to know in between and then jump 10+ years into the future and get to the main story and thus how this dynamic even develops. Thus I will jump in between my own chapters. I am referencing this longfic here. It is fully written by me if you’re wondering.

Well, kind of. I must first introduce some basics for Nyeli aka Patch. Because he plays an important role throughout this, even in the context of the relationship. As for how a chibi cat-human hybrid exists... For now, don't worry about that. Just accept that he does.

So Nyeli's original name is Patch. Patch has been a name given by Izumi when he was a kid. He found Patch one day inside a cardboard box and took him home, thinking his Mom would not mind. Spoiler, she does. So much so that she made sure to put Patch back out as a stray during a trip overseas and lying to her son about his friend running away which leads to a misunderstanding between Patch and Izumi later down the line. Ann is the one finding Patch and taking him instead, naming him 'Nyeli' which is the new name he goes by.

One could say the name 'Patch' is symbolic- Him helping fix not just his own relationship with Izumi but also his with Ann. Because there is a massive one between the two. Though one could argue that it is subconscious. As for why the name Patch...

That was how he and Patch had met. The name choice was odd for a Japanese kid yet Izumi didn’t know what else to name him. It was a word he had heard in a kid’s show he had been watching at the time and he just loved the sound of it. It was a character’s name most likely and he loved it. Nothing classic Japanese, a unique name for his new friend. He didn’t know what it meant at the time and honestly, the kid had not even cared. Kids do not sweat details after all.

Ok now really with everything out of the way I am getting into the actual relationship... Yeah, long intro here as well but as an overview.

The two technically first meet when they are kids. Izumi's parents both had jobs overseas and took their kid with them of course. They allowed him to roam free for a while yet one could imagine that he has had a hard time due to the language barrier. In fact, he didn't even understand Ann when first meeting them.

That was in a literal sense of course. He had never any idea what she was telling him, not daring to speak after having introduced himself and her being unable to pronounce it. This resulted in her calling him ‘Izuzu’, having given up midway through to pronounce his name. And it became somewhat terrifying to speak when she started talking in this alien language. He didn’t understand her, at all, and didn’t dare to ask. Could he even? Would she understand him? It was like communicating with an alien, another species altogether.

[...]

As for how he met her… He didn’t know. She just walked up to him, greeted him and started to drag him into one game after the other without consent whatsoever. She just took him away and started introducing him to games, or so he assumed. At first he was debating if he should participate yet this girl made sure he stayed one way or another. And to make matters more complicated Patch wanted to stay as well, having fun with whatever the girl came up with.

Little Izumi tried to explain the consequences, what Mama might say if something happened to either of them yet the kitty had been too occupied with the game, being unable to reason with. So, it was two against one in the end and as a kid he let himself drag into whatever game the little girl came up with.

Simply put, it was a relationship what one would expect between kids - Just playing games and having fun. Well, even if it took a while for Izumi.

The three would play games together, whatever Ann came up with, even if it was dangerous. There the two would showcase their contrasts to another - Izumi was a hesitant kid due to not knowing what his mother will say (she will play a role here, I think you can already tell in what way).

‘Look at your hands! What if you infected yourself with some incurable disease!? Do you want to die!? That’s it! Up to your room! You will stay there! I will hire someone to look after you too!’

It would be something she would say and he hated to make Mama worry. She was just looking out, nothing more. So there was no need to make her worry whatsoever.

Ann was a carefree kid from the get go, not even caring if they scraped their knee or something. Heck, Ann may recall Izumi being a bit of a crybaby due to seeing him panic so often.

He had watched her eagerly up until when she suddenly tripped, face plastered onto the hard ground. Out of worry he got up, running over to her and shaking her for some time. At first the girl didn’t want to get up it seems, him almost tearing up as a result. Did she— She didn’t, right? No way! She can’t! She shouldn’t—

But he would hold those tears in when suddenly seeing her head lift up, a bump right in front of it. But instead of crying like he would have she was only laughing it off while rubbing it.

(from the oneshot Play Date, not in the main story)

One is overly careful, one might argue trapped, and the other is going through life without a care in the world. It is one reason why the two could not even recognize another, given that they had done 180s essentially. At least at first glance. But both got along just fine despite being unable to literally understand another. This continued until...

Those were the days Izumi looked back on, more fondly than he liked to admit. The time was short lived as one of his parents had spotted the two, seeing what ‘barbaric game’ he was playing with this girl before being dragged away. It was the last time he ever saw her, unable to tell her what happened. Not like he could talk to her or anything but at least try to say goodbye. Because the rest of the time he had been stuck at home, supervised by one of his parents with a fair scolding. He made them worry and while he believed to understand that they cared it always left a sour taste in his mouth.

Long story short Izumom saw the two, didn't like it and thus removed her son from there. All while also making sure to get rid of Patch as well while at it, having both out of the picture. I went with a headcanon that his parents are overly controlling and would keep their son almost on a leash as well as making decisions for him instead of asking him (it is at least hinted at in PORTRAIT, at least from the bits I read... Take it with a grain of salt as I have not read a fan translation yet). For now we focus on the Mom but know that the father is not innocent either. I had to explain how Izumi is described as 'kind' but then does shit like kidnapping or being overly controlling at points. Thus I went with the explanation that he just doesn't know any better as his mother normalized this behavior, doing it to him and thus aiming to make him dependent on her. This is important later down the line to know when summarizing the last big plotpoint.

How did that go on Ann's side? Well, not so well as later down the line they saw it as the first 'betrayal'. They are used to people disappearing out of their life, Izumi having turned into the norm. They didn't know his mother was behind this so they understood it as 'He is tried of me and doesn't want to play with me.' When Ann even looks back on everything, they notice that they were all alone anyway.

Back then… What was it all like back then? It was hard for Ann to pinpoint down. Ever since when little they would describe themselves as a ‘misfit’ in one way or another. Maybe as a kid they didn’t let it get to them is all. After all, life seemed easier at the early stages. Worry about the little things in life, focus on playing and just enjoy the time. It was how they lived in the end: Enjoy the moment. Nothing more, nothing less. It may be the inexperience and temporary ignorance, making them not think about such details. That’s why when still a little child, they could ignore these things altogether.

Sure, almost everyone looked at them weirdly and made fun of them, but back then they could just laugh it off. ‘ Haha, that’s funny~ ’ they would always tell the other kids when they were making a joke at little Ann’s expense… Solely because they did not understand the severity of their words. And it was unlikely that the other kids had understood. Besides, they were too busy being all over the place and playing all sorts of games. Pretend, catch, hide and seek, climbing trees, soccer, drawing nonsense on concrete with chalk— There was no time to think about it. They were having fun. But when thinking back, it was never in a set group like the other kids. They just bounced around,like some ball being thrown. And yet, they did not understand it. It might be because of their lack of understanding when it came to the world. They were so naive that they managed to live a life in ignorance. And maybe that would have been a life for the better.

They wouldn’t mind being alone then if it was just that. Not like there was anyone, really. Even as a kid, when they thought that they had found someone to play with for some time, the boy just vanished— Or rather Izumi vanished. Someone they noticed they had grown close to, at least a little. Sure, he was a bit of a crybaby and seemed to be overwhelmed with Ann at points— Heck, he barely talked (unaware at the time that he could not communicate with them in the same language) but they somehow managed to communicate something. So they had to be close, right? Or so this little, naive kid chose to believe at first.

It was a fun few weeks, sure, but one day he just stopped showing up. What did they think about it back then? Well, it felt like a blow in their face back then once having come to that realization. ‘ Did I scare him? Or was he just bored of me? Or did he never like me to begin with? ’ It hit harder than they would like to admit. They never wanted to admit it. Luckily other kids approached them shortly after and invited them over for a game of jump rope and they accepted. They thought it was forgotten ever since yet it was the first of many blows.

And it only got worse from there. The treatment they received from others back in the day when growing older led them into isolation. Friends came and went, them even being backstabbed despite being promised that they would never leave them. This led them to believe that no relationship, unless family, is eternal. This is also why they have a hard time communicating. The language barrier is an excuse rather than a thing (like they will be talking when under the influence but regular Ann is very hesitant bonding properly with others and for a long while would not call anyone their friend). They are scared to create meaningful bonds, believing they will be shoved aside anyway. And again, while Izumi is not the sole reason for it, he may as well have kickstarted this.

To finish off the childhood section I should note... "Ok how do none of the two notice they are the kids on the playground!?"

In Ann's case it is simple - They forgot for a good while and stopped bothering with it. And the face had slipped their mind until seeing it again.

As for Izumi... Well, the girl looked as follows:

And the girl, she didn’t look like one at all to begin with. At least not like one he usually saw around or what Mama had told him what a girl would be like. If it wasn’t for her voice little Izumi would think that she was a guy actually. Short, brown, messy hair, shorts, a shirt way too big for her and a pair of trainers. No dress, no accessories, not even make up. And she was not scared too from what he saw. She sometimes fell over and scraped her knee but laughed it off rather than crying over it. She loved climbing trees, playing ball or just running around and circles for the heck of it. No dolls, no stuffies. She even got herself dirty and she was never, ever bothered by it. She was odd, to say the least, yet he was jealous all the same.

And even in future he would describe 'the little girl' as the opposite of Ann - Lively, reckless, upbeat, ready to have fun and approach others. Heck, he even sometimes may have imagined what the girl turned out to be nowadays... Not imagining that this would be Ann at first glance (hint at a childhood crush? Maybe... Leave that up to interpretation here).

Ok, this covers just the childhood basics (I am almost an hour in holy-). Next I will move on to the development in the present. Because give it over a decade and the two would meet each other again... Without knowing it at first that is.

“S… Sorry… I…Here to…” They continued stuttering yet he interrupted them from one moment to the next, having raised his own voice: “Speak up, would you!? And how about you try to speak in full sentences! This is pathetic to listen to!”

Hearing this made them nearly grumble. Something rubbed them the wrong way. What the hell was this guy thinking? This was as bad as they heard so far. And it has not even been a minute! Oh great…

They felt one of their hands forming a fist yet they tried to not to let it get to them. Maybe it was just a… Terrible first impression.

“Uhm… I… Can’t talk… Much Japanese…” They responded, very slowly, trying to keep their composure the best way they possibly can.

At most they only got one of his eyebrows rising, him then scoffing: “Talk? Don’t you mean ‘speak’?” It wouldn’t be something they would usually take offense to but the way he said it, so mockingly… It made their blood boil, almost literally. Especially once he took a closer look, to say the least. He then added however: “Wait… You’re not from here, are you?”

“Yeah.” They nodded yet with somewhat visible annoyance. Yet he decided to ignore it or had not noticed.

“Ok fine, I won’t pick on your poor choice of words.”Oh how generous… “But quit the stuttering, will you? It’s annoying.”

Wha— Less stuttering? Less stuttering!? How!? They had to think about their words here! This guy is an inconsiderate shithead alright!? They made on attempt in hiding it at that point, being beyond furious at that point. “Ugh… If so, how about English?”

Though they would not even wait for an answer, adding: “Hah, no. Whatever. Picking up! You!”

“Huh? Picking me u—” He was about to repeat though would then come to a realization. “Hey, you’re that ‘Wolff’ person, aren’t you?”

They nodded, though somewhat forcefully. “Yeah. I’m Anja–Sophie Wolff. And I—”

“I didn’t ask for your name, did I?”

“Well… No, but—”

A sudden glare from the dimwit in front of them. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you then! Do you know how long I waited here!? Did you even try looking!?”

A grumble escaped their very own lips, more audible than before. They then glared back, massively annoyed. They are getting more and more pissed at this point. Not furious, pissed.

“If you wanna walk and sweat, please. I’ll drive with not you.”

They said it sharp and bluntly, not even resisting by then. No, he is not as bad as they said… He’s worse than they said! That Arschloch!

Needless to say, their 'welcome back' greeting ended in disaster. The two start arguing pretty much right away and do not hide that they hate each other's guts. For a while, them arguing is the norm whenever they come across another. Izumi finds a way to belittle Ann whenever he can (may it be their way of speaking, their clothes or 'not doing their job properly' (they are just pissing him off with the last one)) . Meanwhile they shoot insults at him and cannot stand how he is looking down at them, insulting them in his own way. They are just busy hating each other... Right?

“See what I mean? They’re totally got something going on.”

“I don’t know about that… Secchan is about to try something horrible on Ann–Chan…”

“No no no. You don’t understand! They’re so into it! They won’t notice us!”

A quick sigh from the soft sounding voice. “I mean… I guess the image would be funny. Hmm…”

[...]

“Haha, it’s all good. Are you done flirting now?” This employee then joked, only to be met with two sharp glares at once.

“We’re not flirting you idiot!” The model yelled in pure anger. What the hell was this guy’s deal? The two were clearly fighting over here! How can anyone even think this is flirting, let alone joke about it!?

[...]

“Uh… Just don’t kill each other while I’m gone…” Ritsu threw in, though still half asleep, making it impossible to tell if he was being serious or not.

“Oh, and don’t do that at work!” The employee of course had to say. “If you know what I mean~ Do it while we’re all go–”

“Shut up we won’t!” The two arguing said in perfect sync, the only thing they may agree on for their entire life.

Basically a listing of the oldest clichées in the book - Other characters pointing it out (as in "Yep, they're gonna bang") and even them talking in sync without noticing. Are they really hating each other or are they just saying that? Is it really that shallow or is there more going on? Well, ask Leo Tsukinaga! ... No, seriously...

And whenever they screamed Leo couldn’t help but grow curious. It was a few times he even got inspired and started scribbling, their voices serving as his background noise. It was insightful sometimes and some of his latest compositions were based on just them quarreling. Others might be annoyed but he finds it funny and it also makes him somewhat happy. In his eyes, Sena finally found someone who he can be on such open terms with. Even if the relationship is bad, being so honest with each other takes a lot. One might call it naivety but to Leo this was just common sense. If you butt heads so much, you had to be close! Only those close can be so open with one another. There was more going on than everyone would realize! It is simple logic in the composer’s point of view, a logic so flawed for many but to him it made somewhat sense. And besides, one of the employees does not seem to disagree with him either from what he heard! Maybe it was some kind of sixth sense at the time but the way the two argued was different from the tension building up between the members of Knights sometimes. It was such an honest clash of emotions, he couldn’t help but translate their screams and cries into notes, a piece of music, a memory of the moment. It helped him understand it all the better if he were completely honest and that is how he drew the following conclusions.

Basically and also with the things I established ahead... No, this is not a simple hatred. Things are more complicated yet they do not notice that at first. Some people might even argue that the two have something going on yet both get defensive about this. "I hate him/them!" basically and that is how things go for a good while. Though that is changing over time...

I will summarize the plot a little here: Long story short Nyeli is also there and Izumi acts as if he hates Nyeli, thinking it is for the better anyway. Ann at first believes it is Izumi being a shithead as always.

They think not much of it and when Ritsu makes an observation how conflicted Nyeli actually feels about Izumi, portraying him as a 'Black Knight' in his drawings, Ann dismisses it at first. For a while they are blind and prejudiced towards Izumi after all, thinking he is an asshole by default. They are also in disbelief when Sora tells them about 'Izumi's kind color' later on. How can he be kind!? A guy who does not hesitate to be just blunt with his words and talk down on others!? Who treats Nyeli like literal garbage!? They are confused about that, by a great deal.

What convinces them is essentially a nightmare, one could argue it was something they kind of started to pick up on yet didn't want to admit to. At first it manifested in their fear of loneliness. Add that others say that he isn't so bad they start to observe closer to see what others mean. They say nothing, just watch Izumi from time to time interacting with others. And while they are still convinced that he can be a bit annoying they start to slowly catch on.

Then again, it might only answer why the cat didn’t hate that jerk completely and portrayed him in one of the images. But that was it. They were not much closer to anything else… ‘ Taking pity on the lowest of the low ’, the line haunted them even now. It was all so weird, they didn’t get it. The more they dug up about Izumi, the more confusing of a person he became to them. An Arschloch , they would still not deny that. But at the same time he was… Also not one? Ugh, this was confusing. More than it should have been. It made their head hurt… It led to nothing.

Same goes to the issue with Nyeli, Ritsu having noted that Nyeli behaves very differently when it comes to Izumi as a whole - It's not exactly hate but Nyeli is shallow, almost empty even. He doesn't 'hate' Izumi, that much they learn to admit. The situation isn't that black and white in the end.

As for Izumi during all of this, he is still not fond of Ann.

When it comes to the definition of a brat, there was no one Izumi knew any better than Ann themselves. This little shit felt entitled to everything. Even the smallest thing. They dared to talk back, they dared to raise their voice, they dared to not listen to him. Then again, these would usually just be inconveniences at most and he wouldn't pay much attention to it. They are just a brat who’d need to be disciplined, yet he didn’t have the energy to do that. It was not his job to set them straight. And usually, it would stay just there. An inconvenience, an annoyance… But that’s about it. However, Izumi had taken note of everything happening to him whenever just around Ann. He knew the rage building up had slowly become personal.

At first he just saw them as a nuisance: A mess of a person who cannot do anything right. And he was ready to call them out on that. The way they dress is a mess, they may work a lot yet manage to mess up the fundamental basics (either by accident or on purpose, with him Izumi felt like it was completely on purpose at points) and them trying to speak was a slog to get through. Stuff which shouldn’t be anything personal to him, especially since Ann seems to try for the most part.

Yeah, nothing to add here. So imagine his annoyance when they try to approach Izumi directly about something regarding Nyeli... They literally chase him down the hall even, not allowing him to escape. In the end he is forced to talk to them regarding Nyeli.

“Fine.... You want to know what me and the cat’s deal is? I’ll tell you.” He responded, trying to stick with his annoyed act. “Will you stop pestering me if I tell you?”

When hearing his response they lifted their head up, a little in surprise. Yeah, he didn’t believe it either. He was listening to their request. Yet they nodded despite this sudden shock.

“And you keep your mouth shut while I’m talking. Ask questions afterwards. Did I make myself clear?”

So basically Izumi tells Ann about how he knew Nyeli and of his true name, Patch, and both stories do not add up. Nyeli looked more as if he was placed as a stray but Izumi claims the kitty ran away from home, insisting on it even. Having this not add up they decide to initiate that the two fix their misunderstanding by forcing them to sit down and bond... This goes horrible at first, who is surprised? NO ONE! Heck, even Izumi is not sure what to say and Nyeli is refusing at first as well. It isn't until having been suggested the 'get to know him again' approach that Izumi manages to break the ice and bond with Nyeli again, reaching a point where one can leave the two alone after a while. While the effort came from the two mainly Ann initiated it at least, allowing the two to bond again.

One issue resolved, another one approaching. Or rather two. This connection now leads to Izumi and Ann hanging out more as well, thanks to Nyeli. And maybe they start growing more fond of another yet none would admit it. Well, Ann says nothing, but Izumi...

"You've got time this Saturday, don't you? Of course you do! Meet me in front of this building at exactly 10 am! And not a second later! If you do, I will make sure that you won't hear the end of it! Be on time!"

Before Ann could even agree Izumi had just dashed right out of their office, feeling that his own face had to be the spitting image of embarrassment. What had he been saying just now? Why was he saying nonsense like that!? 'Meet me in front of this building at 10 am'!? What was he doing!? Inviting that klutz to a date!? No, that wasn't it! The idea would never cross his mind! Then again… What would he even do with them around? He didn't even give them a choice, nor a response. Would they even show up!?

Totally not liking them, not at all. Either way, it is during that time where he comes to some ugly truth again, by this conversation...

“You sounding like Mami— I mean my Mom.” Ann added, unimpressed by this argument yet he decided to ignore it… At first yet he turned back soon enough when hearing one word… He didn’t know but it had just caught his attention right then and there.

“What? Did your Mom pick the meals for you or something?” He asked, almost mocking though that was to mask his curiosity which was met with a sheepish grin.

“Uh… She can cook so… No complaints for meals, heh…”

“Are you serious? And you want to live alone. I can’t believe your parents made you do that…”

“Made?” They suddenly tilted their head all of a sudden, confused. “No one made me go.”

Hearing that made the male nearly drop onto the table, staring at them wide eyed. “No one… Made you go? Then why are you here?” This was news to him, almost unbelievable. Their mother did not choose for them? Was that even possible!? It sounded so… Surreal.

“Because I want to.” They responded quickly, plain and simple. “Well… Guess we’re here so may as well reveal stuff.”

“Wh… What are you—”

“I like Japan. And stuff from Japan! Want to see it so I went. Uni exchange programm stuff! Plus Germany can be stinky~”

Basically learning that they are doing this of their own choice. Why is this important? Well, as said before, keep in mind that I established that Izumi heavily depends on his mother and does more of what she tells him to, what he needs to be. So hearing that Ann gets a choice... It gets to him yet he has no idea why at first until he thinks about it... And when noticing that everything just comes crashing down on him and he is so confused that he cannot focus on anything. Knowing no one to turn to he picks Ann yet he himself isn't sure why, and just breaks down. He expects to be shooed away yet they do not do that. Instead they let him inside their home and both talk about what is going on.

Basically the idea is that Izumi is too confused to continue, wanting to reevaluate what he wants, not what his Mom told him to be. This leads to a temporary retirement from idol activities, 1-2 months, with the agreements with Knights. To catch a break from everything he even considers moving out of the dorms.

“Now what? Heading to Florenz?” They continued asking, somewhat curious and interested. He didn’t understand why, it was still somewhat irritating. But he didn’t hate it. Not anymore.

“It’s an option.” Izumi admitted with a sigh, though it didn’t sit completely right with him, oddly enough. “But the chance of me drowning myself in work there is high. And that’s not exactly the plan, is it?”

“Haha, yeah. Get it. I drown in work too.” They said, stating the absolute obvious. It only made his eyes roll.

“Oh no, I thought the papers on your desk were just for show.” He added with obvious sarcasm, making them nearly glare at him.

“Hey, not funny!”

“I wasn’t being funny.”

What this leads to is essentially him temporarily moving in with Ann after they offered.

“Then mine could do!” They suddenly suggested, sounding almost a little too eager for his liking. But he couldn’t comment on it, more surprised if anything to hear that of all things. He even looked at them, not hiding this thought whatsoever.

“Come again?”

“My place!” Ann repeated, sounding as if they just had a genius idea here. “Not minding at all!”

“Your… Place? That mess? You really expect me to—”

“You don’t have to!” They suddenly huffed with a pout. “Just trying to help. But search or the streets. Hmph!”

Basically the idea is to get a place where he could be away for a while and had no risk to get into too much work also plot but ssh. So the two start living together for a short while (have fun ina crowded one room apartment)

Happy e- No, no. So wrong. No happy end. Because this is where things boil down yet are also the turning point. Basically the childhood thing is found out there, Ann finding out by coincidence by throwing a box over and seeing a picture of Izumi as a kid... Then it all comes back to them and they drop his nickname, 'Izuzu'. And that is where he also notices... Ann is that 'little girl' he remembered.

Thus the first day is awkward, Ann giving Izumi the silent treatment. They insist that it's fine but it clearly isn't. He is somewhat overcome with guilt and tries to apologize yet they tell him not to, saying that this is what they are used to. No need to wo-

“That…” He finally began speaking yet again, them looking right at Izumi to see what his response would be. Ann didn’t expect much, even now, so his next words surprised them. “Sounds pathetic.”

It was as if he was verbally punching them right in the guts and it nearly made them furious… Though for different reasons, something they couldn’t exactly put into words. “Pathetic?”

“Oh you heard me right. So you’re saying that for whatever reason I don’t need to apologize? Because you’re used to this? Is that what I’m hearing?”

They nodded. “Yeah, it’s–”

“Are you serious!? Did I listen to some sorry loner all this time!?” He seemed upset, not an unusual sight for Ann. And yet, this time it had a different undertone, to say the least. “Then why bother with this all to begin with!? You make no sense… Unless you got some savior complex going on.”

[...]

“So, I assume that you need someone to push you around. And since you pushed me around to make up with Patch, I suppose I will push you around a little now!” He continued, determination somewhat written over his face. “So quit saying stuff like that! I’m not gonna leave you by yourself if I can help it!”

Yeah, he's not gonna listen to this. Ann is in disbelief, not believing their ears at that point. They first think that it's a lie but...

They can tell at the same time that it is not, if that makes sense. Or maybe they are hopeful at this moment. Not like he gives them a choice anyway...

“In fact, I guess we have some catching up to do. Are you free tomorrow?”

“Eh? Me!?” They repeated in shock. It has been years since they were asked that. Ok no, technically it was not too long ago, given Izumi dragged them out that one weekend but it didn’t change that this was a surprise. Being asked if they were free, just like that… Such a simple question shouldn’t make them want to jump up in joy or nearly break out crying but it was too much to handle. It has been a while since anyone asked this of them, anyone who is not family at least. And they were perhaps a little too happy hearing it. “Uni lectures in the morning but… Not a work day I—”

“Hah, guess something like that takes priority. So good enough. Now go to bed!” Izumi suddenly insisted. “The moment you get back here it’ll just be the two of us!”

“Wha— Hah!? Said who!?”

“I said so!” He countered with a sudden grin on his face. “Now hop to it. I don’t wanna drag you around in the afternoon.”

So for a while things become peaceful and not much is going on. Essentially it is all bonding primarily, either between the two or Izumi and Nyeli doing something together. Almost done, great.

First we need to get the confession out of the way... But honestly that boils down to the following - Knights notices that Izumi has grown closer to Ann and even talks about them differently, even seeing them as a 'woman' (the they/them he used before was to indicate that he didn't see them as much actually. She/Her is fine since this Ann doesn't correct anyone about pronouns, even if they themself refuse to identify). At first he tries to deny it but...

When thinking back on some things… Was there a chance? The two were kinda on dates before after all. And ever since seeing more of her, let alone living with her… Things go smoother. He kind of liked it actually, growing fond of her. At first he thought it was just because she was the little girl from years ago and it might play a factor. He would lie if he said it didn’t. But… Even before that… To some degree… Ugh, that’s a headache to think about. Did he seriously start to see her that way now? He wouldn’t know when, he just hated it that Naru–Chan’s outrageous claim could hold some weight. Ugh, not like these feelings would be returned though.

He cannot deny it. And Ann cannot escape it either. Nyeli asks them if they are in love with 'brothnya' (basically Izumi), they do not exactly answer the question. All they say is that 'there is no way that he will like me'. Then that random employee asks them as well.

That had his attention a little. It wasn’t a flatout ‘no’ after all. Hoho~ “Did you just say maybe?”

“Ah— That— Who knows, that’s all!”

“Maybe. So you’re considering it. Of course you are. You seem to actually enjoy being around Sena after all.”

“Never thought I’d see the day…”

“Oh, you should read up on your tropes then.”

“Life isn’t tropey!” She would argue either way. “Anything but tropey!”

“Hey, I’m just throwing it out there. You two just gave off the vibe you know.”

“How!?”

“I already said how. Anyway, anyway… Embrace it! Enjoy your existence as a couple! If none of the higher ups find out, you are in the clear~”

One of her eyelids seemed to twitch at the suggestion yet the redness did not disappear. “W… We… Not…”

“Haha, discuss it first. I’m sure you two will be juuust fine~”

“What—”

“Enough from me though. I have somewhere to be. Won’t be here for a while actually. So… Best of luck! Go get him girl!”

The conversations make the two think yet also say nothing for a few days to another... Until it escalates...

And thus they were silent yet again, finishing up their meals respectively before putting their bowls and chopsticks (or a fork in Ann’s case) down, first facing the table before both turned their heads up to face one another all of a sudden, staring at each other… Wait, she’s red too!? What is the meaning of that!? But old habits die hard because before they knew it they would start yelling at each other again, Ann starting.

“You brought it up!? Meaning!?”

“What do you mean ‘meaning’!? I’m not trying to say anything by that!”

“Then why say that!?”

“Because you’re silent all week!”

“You too! You wanna date suddenly!?”

“Hah!? D… Don’t be ridiculous! It’s nothing like that! I’m not desperate!” Despite being aware he was still denying it verbally… Great… “You point it out so what are you trying to say!? That you want to date me!?”

“Hah!? I… No! Not desperate!” Ann denied however, flushed red.

“Yeah right! Sounds like to me you fell for me you know!”

“Me!? You fell!” She countered, as if confident in that statement but also not really. It was rather odd, to say the least. and yet the indication was all too obvious.

“Hah! I won’t admit it if you don’t!”

“Ok fine! I may fell in love! With you!”

“There we go! Because I think so do I!”

It leads to a confession though and things become official! Happy e-

“Why hello there~ Are you my little Izumi’s roommate~?” The voice was an older one, feminine and sounding ever so sweet. Even after having not heard it clearly for a good few months he would never be able to forget this voice, given he had heard the one all his life. He couldn’t move, unable to say anything and the words wouldn’t leave him. Well, he wasn’t talking to anyone at the moment yet his throat felt dry, somewhat. He knew who this was, better than anyone…

“G… Good morning?” He heard Ann stutter, as if she was overwhelmed by this sudden entrance. Well, who wouldn’t be? It came out of literal nowhere! “Uhm.. By Izumi… Miss, you mean—”

“Hm? Oh right, you don’t know who I am. Silly me, I usually don’t bother with no names~” The woman responded, not stopping with her ever so sweet tone, despite her words. “You should’ve seen my face around already though, shouldn’t you? I was in every fashion magazine known to man~”

“I.. Uhm… Do not read—”

“Then start sweetie. How can you run around in some old rags like that~? No sense for fashion at all, haha~”

Yeah uh... I hope you still remember me mentioning Izumom... She's here, at the end. There's a point to this. Let me introduce you to her as the story puts it!

Sena Kimiko, a woman in her 40s at most. Even then, no one would probably suspect that to be the case at all. She looked very young for her age after all, a standard for the model industry. There was not a single wrinkle in her face and she never had any bags under them either. No scars nor beauty marks. Her face was never tarnished, it was as if she had been blessed with natural beauty. All combined with sparkling, dark blue eyes and long, wavy yet slightly thick silver hair. Her hair especially seemed flawless; no sign of bed hair nor any mess. It was always so clean, in tip top shape, healthy and shining.

Her body was also something else– A slim figure with a respectable waist and chest. Not too big yet not too small either. Her measurements were just right. Any outfit of her choice will be a perfect fit no matter what. Most would be jealous of it, even other models. She is desired in the industry, her pride lying in her modeling. She is the ideal doll and she is more than aware. She doesn’t shy away from it and makes sure to let everyone know. A woman who sees herself above everyone else, who made something out of herself and her natural beauty. She looks down on just about anyone yet feels like she has every right to do so. After all, she had already proven that she is superior to everyone else.

This is the type of woman Kimiko was and it might be an understatement to say that she fully embraced it. She never knew shame and never saw herself in the wrong. She usually knows better, especially when it comes to her own son. After all, if it were not for her, he would have never started making it as an idol and model. And she truly believes that her son is meant to become a legendary idol like she is… It was his path, wasn’t it? There was no other way, someone who inherited her beauty was always meant to show it off and become a perfect doll, just like she is!

Basically Kimiko has heard that her son is on a hiatus. As she is worried she figured out where he lives now and pays him a visit, just to see how he's doing. She is overbearing and goes to treat him like a little boy. Also she is not exactly holding her tongue either in regards to Ann. But she is just a worried Mo-

No, she ain't. She makes her intentions clear.

“But even then… Are you sure?”

Huh? “Sure of what Mama?” What was she—

“You see… Papa and Mama are worried sick about you Izumi. The last thing we expected from you was to go on a hiatus and disappear from the public eye.”

“Ah— I… I’m sorry for not telling you in advance! You two seem busy lately so—”

“No, it’s fine. Thank you for being so considerate. However, do you really want to stay with her?”

He only looked at his mother, shocked yet irritated. What is she—

“You can always come home, you know, even if only for a short while. After all, we will help you sort things out.”

“I…”

“After all… Mama and Papa know you better than some random, little, barbaric girl. We know what’s best for you.”

She also catches on that the two are dating and needless to say, Kimiko hates it. Yet of course she doesn't say it outright, not towards Izumi at first at least. But she is trying to rig something. And she shows up too much at that home, even uninvited.

And her reaction to Nyeli... Not too good.

Because the moment she had turned her eyes lost all of their life, oddly enough, and her pupils were as dead as they could be. It was all happening so fast, from one moment to the next, yet the next audible thing was a sudden scream from her lips, so loud that it made Nyeli curl his ears so he didn’t have to hear it and close his eyes, tearing up already. He even held them with his nubs, trying to keep them in place. It was probably unbearable for him, not even soft pats could get the cat to calm down.

It left all of them in a shock, Ann staring at the woman in utter disbelief, mouth gaping open. What was her deal now? What!? How!? Why!? This woman… The nerve…

“M… Mama!? What’s gotten into you!?” It was a little forced and stuttery but Izumi managed to ask it in the end, the question which had been in their mind right away. Would she answer it though? Of course not. At this very moment it was as if her own son did not exist, or was not present at the very least.

Instead she stomped over while dashing, getting as close as possible while eyeing Nyeli, even circling around somewhat. Kimiko’s head was moving around like an automatic door, swaying side to side in an unnatural motion. All while her face was devoid of any sort of emotion, her dark blue eyes lacking emotion especially. She didn’t quit it either, eyeing Nyeli as if Ann had been holding a tiny monster in their hands, a creature of some sorts. It took minutes before she backed off, though still looking down at the cat with her gaze. “The brute? What is that doing here?” She asked, no shame, hesitation nor emotion. She was cold, very cold, and direct. No sugarcoating it whatsoever… Brute? Brute!? Did she just call Nyeli a brute!?

Kimiko is basically feeling threatened that she is losing control here, something she makes very obvious. And while Izumi is in denial Ann shows that they despise this woman down to the core.

Their conversation alone together with Kimiko even leads to this line:

“Wenn du mich fragst… Schlampen sollten ihren Mund zum Schwanzlutschen benutzen und ihre Schnauze halten. Mach dich nützlich. Du siehst zumindest so aus, als ob dich Männer ficken wollen.”

Basically Ann calls Kimiko a slut who only has a mouth good for sucking dick and she is only useful for being fucked by guys. Yeah, this is meant to be very vulgar.

The consequences come down and Kimiko is actually close to taking Izumi with her, no questions asked. Though that does not happen because by then Izumi starts to finally realize what his mother is trying, what she wants to push him into. Not to mention that he learns that Nyeli disappearing was her fault and no one else's. This is just a short summary because the conflict is longer but read the longfic I save you that much trouble. What you have to know is that he stands up to his mother and throws her out himself, deciding to no longer listen to her.

Sometime after that Izumi resumes his idol activities yet also secretly dating Ann... 'Secretly' as Knights know too, the bunch caught on asap, yet they keep it a secret in public as well of course. But they are nosy... Arashi especially, she is having a field day here.

Why did I just go through the longfic, somewhat? Because it is essentially the get together story as well as the foundation of everything following up I write with them now. Basically I wanted to outline shortly how these two go from hating each other to being a thing. And I think knowing the entire story adds to how they got where they are now, how it all had gone down. Of course the story covers more than the simple romance but it plays a factor here. I wanted to outline the time where the hatred starts to change and how the two are so close.

With that analysis done... I have more thoughts! Yes, still not done, but close. This is literally just the longfic’s plot.

So, what is next and some other stuff I think about a lot / will write out in near future…

So firstly, of course the constant lingering fear for a while. Sure, the two overcame quite a bit but here's the deal... That doesn't mean that they are free from worries.

Izumi has to constantly worry that his mother just shows up, especially now. Also him having a hint of insecurity maybe, given how he and Ann started out that it is not enough and he could lose them in turn (I wrote a Hanahaki oneshot for a reason, outlining the fear that maybe he doesn't love them or something like that). He doesn't show it a lot of course, not wanting to come off as weak.

Ann themself is constantly in a battle as well, never seeing themself as good enough. Their fear of being left like that is there for some time, either for being a nuisance or for someone better. They believe that they cannot find a reason for him to stay; he will leave eventually.

This leads into a plotpoint for Part II (yes there will be a second longfic... I am insane, I know) where Ann tries to exhaust themself to the bone to write a movie script themself, even driving insane from it. They want to 'prove their worth'.

"I… I was scared… That you would… Leave me if I… I failed and… I can't do much else so I… I…"

"Stop with that. No, seriously, stop. So what if you can't write that script?"

"A… Am I tha–"

"Let me finish! Because I am happy for you to get this chance and show your skills off. But here's the thing… You're more than your writing, alright? You've already proven that. And those guys who take it at face value? Screw them. Those who really care will see you for you, no matter who. So even if you hadn't gotten this chance, we would not be disappointed. And by we I mean your parents, Patch, that guy you call your 'brother', Kuma–Kun, the rest of Knights and… Me too. So stop putting yourself down like that, will you?"

They are told that this is bs of course and they are more than a script.

They sure still got some things to work through of course!

Enough about insecurities!

As for some more fun stuff, or rather calmer... More light hearted stuff to keep in mind or I shall list

Bickering is still here and there of course. Nothing changing there, yet they no longer insult another

Nagging is not uncommon though. Ann is not known for healthy habits so Izumi sure nags a lot there, having to force them to be healthier sometimes. He will also scold them should he catch them up at midnight when in Florenz. Oh yes, he is phoning them up just to yell "GET THE FUCK TO BED!"

They fluster at each other. Ann is a little clingy and touchy (mostly wholesome, though depending on the mood it can be a little more than that), catching Izumi off guard. He sometimes even tries to resist their begging for a hug or other things, solely to not 'spoil them'. He's just embarrassed yet cracks eventually. Of course this is in private, sometimes within the office as well, yet in public it doesn't go too far. As for how he catches them off guard... When he suddenly puts on the charm he literally makes them unable to function, sometimes even running with a beet red face because it is too much for them to handle. No, really, their brain just stops working altogether.

Secret relationship because of what would happen if fans found out an idol is dating someone, that they are unavailable. Some people find out yet keep it a secret as well.

Who is more jealous? Uh... Hard to say, I think it is more circumstantial, maybe even who it is.

A world is shattered when Izumi hears Ann is a fan of Jun Sazanami... I jest not really after they explain that they just like his performance as an idol, being a fan of his like they would be for a musician (if that makes sense) yet it sure led to an interesting conversation.

And that is all! For now. Izuann has necome a bigger beast than anticipated and yeah, I might enjoy the two way too much from a writing perspective. Even if I do not show it lately but I think a longfic of 80k+ words is all the proof needed. And a second one is in the works (currently at the roadmap).

I hope this was fun to read through! Even if it was more of an analysis than a ramble...

0 notes

xavieryaa · 1 year

Text

about me!

misc info

i love linguistics

i am learning korean and mandarin chinese

i play love nikki

i love cats

i love mechanical keyboards

(despite this i do not have a mechanical keyboard)

i dabble in art

i’m the world’s worst coder (but i still try)

i’m planning to make my own tumblr theme one of these days

writing-related

i write both oneshots and longfics, though less of the latter since they take more time. my writing schedule at the moment is…messy and nearly nonexistent. i’ll figure it out at some point.

my favorite typpes of fics to write are fluff, friends to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers, and light angst.

k-pop groups & biases

bts — namjoon & seokjin

pentagon — hui & jinho

loona — chuu (T-T)

stray kids — bang chan

my favorite songs

se so neon — nan chun

rm — everythingoes

loona — stylish

loona — curiosity

bts — jamais vu

bts — rain

bts — autumn leaves

pentagon — happiness

halina — kwarto waltz

other accounts

youraveragearmy on ao3

youraverageami on wattpad

0 notes

muselin · 3 years

Text

Navigation+Masterlist

Ultimate fic recs: 2022 | 2023

Kinktober 2021 completed

Muselin 101/FAQ: what this blog is, who I write for, what I do and do not write

IMPORTANT! - getting permission to translate my fics

Confessional Mondays: Vol.1

Works in Progress (WIP) list

Hard hours ALWAYS open for:

Shinhwa, Super Junior, SHINee, VIXX, Seventeen, TXT, Stray Kids, Omega X, OnlyOneOf, Ateez, NCT (all units), Enhypen

--------------------------------

Kpop Masterlist:

Super Junior

Leeteuk (Jungsoo)

NSFW Headcanon - smut (trying anal)

Yesung (Jonghoon)

NSFW alphabet

Donghae

Moodboards: 1 - see Cacao

NSFW alphabet

Cacao - Donghae/reader, sensual, steamy, suggestive but no smut

Tails You Lose - Part 1, Part 2. Donghae/f!reader, explicit smut, hard dom!Donghae (but not too hard), double penetration, daddy kink, mild degradation, impact play, pain play

06:00 - threesome smut with Eunhyuk

Eunhyuk (Hyukjae)

Moodboards: 1, 2

06:00 - threesome smut with Donghae

NSFW alphabet

Whole group:

Wildcards - asking to try light bondage in the moment

-----------------------------------------------

SHINee

Onew (Jinki)

Deft Hands - smut

NSFW alphabet

Jonghyun - nothing yet...

Key (Kibum)

Raise The Bar - smut

Melt - ice play smut

05:30 a.m - smut

NSFW alphabet

Minho

Sit Back and Watch - solo Minho smut but indirectly feat. reader, masturbation

2minutes - threesome smut with Taemin and f!reader

Private View - smut

Teach Me - smut

Arrested Development - smut

Taemin

Insatiable - Taemin/f!reader smut drabble

2minutes - threesome smut with Minho and f!reader

We’ll Always Have Itaewon - threesome smut with TXT Taehyun and f!reader

We'll Always Have Itaewon Part 2 plus playlist

Seen - smut, tw:exhibitionism, voyeurism

Whole group:

What they like to be called in bed and what they like to call their partner - headcanon

Exhibitionism - wildcards

----------------------------------------------

VIXX

N (Hakyeon)

Earn It - smut

Leo (Taekwoon)

Trust - smut, tw: choking, breathplay

Ken (Jaehwan)

Moodboards: 1

Hide Me, Take Me - long one-shot. Ken explores a side of himself he never knew what to do with. !longfic - 10k words and over; features an OC, explicit smut, soft dom!Ken. TRIGGER WARNING - one instance of dubious consent but the rest is enthusiastic consent

Ravi (Wonshik) - nothing yet...

Hongbin - nothing yet...

Sanghyuk - nothing yet...

Whole group

Reaction to chains - NSFW

---------------------------------------------------

TXT (Tomorrow x Together)

Yeonjun:

NSFW alphabet

Nobody But You - smut, tw:reader has mild body image issues

Love to Hate You - smut (with some plot)

A Little Longer - smut

The Edge - smut, tw: knife play, edge play

Soobin:

Apology Accepted - smut, tw:light impact play

NSFW alphabet

Almost - smut

Beomgyu:

NSFW alphabet

See You Later: Part 1 - slow burn, eventual smut but no smut in Part 1, college AU, student!Gyu, model!Gyu

Jigsaw - threesome smut with Taehyun

Friday Night Bites - smut

Show Me To The World - sub!Beomgyu smut

Taehyun: Edit

Dirty Angel - smut

Do You Really Care? - smut, hard dom!Taehyun, tw:unhealthy relationship

We’ll Always Have Itaewon - threesome smut with Taemin and reader

We'll Always Have Itaewon Part 2 plus playlist

NSFW alphabet

Healing Touch - smut with Huening Kai

Jigsaw - threesome smut with Beomgyu

Huening Kai (Kai):

NSFW alphabet

Fine Things - smut

Healing Touch - smut with Taehyun

Whole group

Which member would have a threesome with another member and their s/o - headcanon

Bribing TXT with sex for spoilers - scenario

Overstimulation (giving and receiving) - headcanon

Stray Kids

----------------------------------------

Monsta X

Whole group:

Sleepy morning sex - wildcards

______________________________

Bang Chan

Right In Front Of You - smut

Lee Know (Minho)

Holidays Bite - smut. Trigger warning: stepcest, older brother!Minho x fem!reader

Changbin

Greed - smut drabble

Hyunjin

Drip - smut (Dom!Hyunjin feat Softdom!Felix)

Han (Jisung) - nothing yet...

Felix

Drip - smut (Softdom!Felix with Dom!Hyunjin)

Seungmin

Beautiful - sub!Seungmin smut

I.N (Jeongin)

Fox Sleep - sub!Jeongin smut

_______________________________________

Ateez

Hongjoong

Hot Tub - suggestive/smutty drabble

Seonghwa

Headcanon - How is he in bed? Part 1, Part 2

Hide and Seek (as cameo)

Wooyoung

Hide and Seek (feat Seonghwa)

Whole group

Dom!Ateez - wildcards

Scent play - wildcards

___________________________________________

NCT 127/Way V

Yuta

Rock aesthetic - smut drabble

Ten

Ganachakra - tantric sex and switch dynamics

Whole group/subunits

NCT 127 anal training headcanon

WayV giving oral wildcards

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Muselin's ko-fi

Muselin on AO3

Mutuals, anons, blog recommendations:

Mutuals: @another-multistan , @cinnabun-faerie , @writtenbynina , @anabsolutemyth , @bluekais, @itsallabouthedetails, @swoonysighs , @smellysoobin , @youaremy-dreamgirl, @tmrwxtg , @sweetiehyuka, @tinysmuttythoughts, @whatudowhennooneseesyou

💞🐺💞swoony boo @bangchanswolfpelt

☀️🌧❄🌬wifey @summerrainwinterbreeze

🥫crow @crowhyun

🍻g @tinysmuttythoughts

💫jageun-byeol @jageun-byeol

Anons:

2nd gen anon, 🙈anon, ✨anon, 🌻anon, r💋

🌨anon, 🗑anon, 🐾anon, strange asks anon, suju anon, 🦖anon

Delicious blog recommendations: @kpopthoughtsandmusings , @tywritesxpop , @chicken-fifi , @ithinkilikeit-reactions , @submissivekpop , @itsallabouthedetails , @bangchanswolfpelt , @xxatinyminionxx , @webangchan , @summerrainwinterbreeze , @sweetiehyuka, @crowhyun , @tmrwxtg , @ballelino , @btssmutgalore , @multifandomfantasies

Miscellaneous section:

Playlists

Gangbang fic rec list

The Slutty Waist Club

____________________________________________

Qpop anything (Kazakhstan pop a.k.a Qazaq pop)

Qpop MV list 1

Qpop MV list 2

#muselin #super junior #super junior scenarios #suju #super junior smut #suju smut #super junior donghae #donghae smut #super junior eunhyuk #eunhyuk smut #vixx #vixx smut #vixx scenarios #muselinmasterlist #taemin smut #txt #txt smut #shinee smut #stray kids smut

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dancyon · 3 years

Text

20 fic tag game

I was tagged by @dreamdropxoxo and by @redwritinghood, y’all asked for this

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

I’ll tag @deersnake @veretianstarburst @dearanemone and @kurakaw if you haven’t done this already.

i cant be alone (with all thats on my mind) [will be published in a couple months, omegaverse longfic] The early morning light filtered by the open window, curtains drawn to the side and cool air washing the room in small, lazy snowflakes.

call me friend (but keep me closer) They win Marlas.

The Innocence of Youth After hours of complaints, whining, and being a general nuisance, the kid had finally fallen asleep.

Cut the Thread The scratching started a week after they left Nesson, Laurent’s pretty face turned down into a frown.

Heart on a Canvas The room was green and yellow, sun and spring-young leaves tracing waves and life on the walls as people looked at his creation.

Empty Kiss (Filling the Void Remix) Neil sometimes wonders where it all went wrong.

the lion will eat you! Before the day their youngest had been ripped from their hands, turning their world to ash and dust, the Bennett’s had turned their zoo visits into a monthly event, the children’s voices excited and loud as they run around laughing.

paint my skin in painful truths People like Neil wear their nightmares on their skin, haunting and beautiful.

my heart in your hands, it’s yours now Neil remembers the snow in England, soft and white and slower than the one that hit them in Canada that one time they weren’t able to find shelter, the cold creeping into their fingers and freezing the car, scaring them half to death when they realized they couldn’t get away this time.

the sound of my love, in your hands Jean had never thought of Jeremy as soft.

the gods took them back (the problem with having a heart) Prince Kevin didn’t know when things changed.

How to take in strays “There’s magic in every breath you and I take, Abram.” his mother had said right before they caught up with her and raised her battered body on a pyre.

House of Truths Nathaniel felt the heat spread along his fingers as light tendrils danced from one tip to another, catching the shadows in the dark bedroom.

#fics #my fics #fanfiction #my writing #aftg #tfc #capri #captive prince #wolfsong #green creek series #my post #rereading older fics makes me cringe #when i thought i was already a good writer lmao #cant believe i wrote run instead of ran #with my own two hands

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lokilickedme · 3 years

Text

Hulu and Do You

A Hammer Of The Gods Jake & Tate Shortfic, Part One

Part One - The Worst Kind of Man Rated M for language and adult themes - no sex yet (and I stress yet) 1703 words Takes place a year after the events of Hammer of The Gods

I’m posting this here for now because I’m not in the mood to accidentally start another longfic and AO3 tends to do that to me. This will be two parts with the second coming later. Written under the duress of a headache and not edited or proofread, so...whatever’s down there is what ya get.

I’ll reblog later tonight with my tag list attached. Slide under the cut and lets go :)

“Geezus fuck kid, take that to your mom.”

Tate flinched, that same old kneejerk reaction to a raised male voice that she’d always had, a holdover from another time, another place, and most definitely another man. But the man in the next room hadn’t really raised his voice, had he? No, it was just that she was so damn used to it happening that the reflex had become too deeply ingrained to not be automatic. It made her feel ashamed of herself for not being over it, just a tiny bit.

Jake didn’t raise his voice. Not at her, not at her kids, not ever. She’d never really actually heard him raise it, not in anger, not even when he was threatening a creatively bloody demise toward her long gone ex the day he’d popped his jaw damn well near clean off his face.

Jake wasn’t a yeller.

But he was definitely a curser, and her son had committed the unforgivable by blasting into the room he was working in to offer up an empty GoGurt tube in trade for a new one.

It wasn’t unforgivable in this house though, and it wasn’t unforgivable with this man.

Only The Ex. Once upon a time.

Jake didn’t mind the kids coming into his study room; he wasn’t insanely nuts about them being around him, but he had no particular dislike of it either, other than when one or the other of them handed him something sticky.

Like the youngest just had.

She couldn’t blame him, to be honest. GoGurt tubes in the hands of a four year old weren’t something she enjoyed dealing with herself, and Jake - well, Jake wasn’t the daddy type. But he was a good man, albeit a filthy-mouthed one, and the words hadn’t even been the slightest bit irritated sounding. Just more of an Ew, hell no.

So why the flinch?

She’d been trying to sort that in her head for the past year, and the only conclusion she’d reached was the uncertain possibility that she was simply afraid that one day Jake would become like The Ex. Angry, irritated, controlling, condescending. Disapproving. Abusive. She had nothing to base it on other than the fact that it had happened once and her luck, though vastly improved since the night she’d grabbed the kids and walked out with nothing but Jake’s tuition money in her pocket, couldn’t possibly hold.

Or could it?

Perhaps Pete had been right when he’d summed his friend up in a single sentence - He might look like he’d snap your neck for a half smoked cig but he’d just as soon pay you a nickel for it. It hadn’t made sense at the time, but a year of dating the man had put a bit of clarity on it for her. Jake was quick to anger in attitude only. For the most part he was levelheaded, quiet, capable. He had a low tolerance for idiocy and a deep appreciation for common sense, and what he put into the world by way of surliness he made up for in an intense intelligence and observant nature that dictated he simply deal with problems himself instead of waiting for anyone else to solve them. And now, after all this time, she knew something not many other people knew.

The angry attitude wasn’t real.

Jake Harper was a fraud.

He didn’t hate the world...he was just uncomfortable in it. Whether it was shyness or impatience or what his sisters referred to as “a near fatal case of attention deficit coupled with just too damn smart for this world”, she’d probably never figure out.

Not that it mattered. She’d long since sorted how to work around it and keep that furrow-browed scowl from being used on her.

Jake was easily distractable...and he didn’t like to watch TV.

At all.

And that was where Tate’s secret weapon came into play.

He’d been studying a lot lately. Way too much, but he had finals coming up. She shouldn’t even be here, not really, not while he was working on such a time crunch with such a massive class load, but they hadn’t seen each other in a week aside from a quick lunch on Tuesday and a late night Facetime sexup the following evening. It hadn’t been difficult talking him into letting her come over.

Or talking Pete into picking up the kids and taking them to the park so she and Jake could be alone for a couple of hours. But he was running late and the kids were making a lot of noise, and now there was a drippy GoGurt tube incoming.

“Pete, come on.”

“Your wish is my command, Tatertot.”

“Geezus!!”

Her face went a bit warm, hearing that crude word pop out of her own mouth. She’d been around Jake too much, he was rubbing off on her.

Rubbing off on her.

The alternate connotations of that phrase added more heat to her cheeks but thankfully Pete didn’t notice. He was too busy grabbing her son up and tossing him haphazardly into the air, a horrifying habit she’d gotten used to.

“Sorry, runnin’ late. Little girl, come on lets go!” One huge paw came up to gingerly remove her son’s tiny fist from where it was twisted in his long unruly hair. “Ew. Is that GoGurt? Better be blueberry, the cotton candy looks shit on me.”

Good old Pete. If Jake hadn’t been the one to break the lock on her bedroom window - euphemism or no - things might have been a little different at this juncture of her life. But Pete was a better friend than Jake would have been if the roles were shifted, and she was grateful for the big brash Viking’s helpful companionship.

Especially now.

“Take some frozen peas for the ducks.”

And then they were gone, and she was left standing in the doorway to Jake’s study room, looking at his broad back and swooning just a little bit over the contrast between his long dark hair and the light blue of his tee shirt as he hunched forward over his desk, deep in concentration that she knew didn’t come easy for him.

“You want to take a break? Kids are gone, we could watch some TV.”

She knew he didn’t like TV, he didn’t have either the ability or the desire to put that much focus into something recreational after devoting so much effort into keeping his head on his studies. He turned his head just slightly to the side, not looking at her, but acknowledging her presence. “That show you like, they put the final season up.”

“Yeah? Which one?”

He leaned back in his chair, stretching his back. “That whack one about the preacher and the vampire.”

“You’re kidding?! Want to start it? I can call us in a pizza.”

He turned his chair to the left, coming around slowly to face her. There was something dark and slightly wicked in the twist of his lips that shot a shiver through her. “Do that. I’m gonna finish this chapter and then I’m gonna Hulu and do you.”

“Ooh...and here I thought the whole Netflix and chill trend was going to just pass us by. I mean...” She took a step back, exiting the doorway, letting her hand stray purposefully toward the top button of her shirt. “You’re always so busy with school and you have that personal vendetta against Netflix and all - “

“They sold Doctor Who to Amazon. Fuck ‘em.”

“Well yeah, can’t disagree with you there.”

His eyes passed over her briefly, lingering for just a moment on her hand where her fingers toyed with the button. It was enough. Jake didn’t ogle, though there were times she wished he would as some sort of a courtesy warning shot before he made his intentions known. There wasn’t a lot of preamble with him. Straightforward and to the point, always.

Good old Viletongue.

She had no complaints. Because she always knew where she stood with Jake.

But today...today she wasn’t planning on standing.

************************

He was bored already, she could tell. He was a scientist at heart, which she found humorous - Captain Curseword, the filthiest-mouthed man she’d ever met, the guy who could take a toddler’s boardbook with eleven words in it and turn it into a foul diatribe so intensely crass it made you step away from him for fear of the wrath of God accidentally hitting you while aiming at him - this man was possessed of an analytical mind so sharp and detail oriented that anything shy of a scientific documentary lost his attention within minutes. His chosen profession suited his intellect, the chemistry aspect of pharmacology more than enough to give his mind something to work on all the time, but it ran so counter crossways to the physical side of him that sometimes she found herself wondering if he’d been accidentally housed inside the wrong body at birth.

In fact, sometimes it seemed like he wasn’t quite human at all.

She’d thought him an angel once.

And then she’d slept with him and realized he was, in fact, a god.

A god that was about to fall asleep less than ten minutes into Preacher episode one season four. She looked over at him, next to her on the couch with his head back on the cushions, those stormy sky blue eyes half closed while his fingers tapped out an odd little rhythm on the thigh of her jeans. Likely typing a chemical equation of some kind, his brain’s stubborn refusal to shut down long enough to rest seeping out through the steady drum of his fingertips.

He was a confusing thing sometimes. He was both the best kind of man and the worst kind of man...and what she needed right now was the worst kind.

Taking that busily distracted hand from her thigh, she moved it up to her chest and laid it palm-down over her breast. Jake didn’t respond, but his fingers clenched slightly; she looked over to find he’d closed his eyes entirely, but the tiniest twitch of a grin was gently turning up the corners of that filthy, filthy mouth.

#Hiddleston fic #Hammer of The Gods #Jake and Tate

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blossomwritesthings · 1 year

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𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

word count: 10+k (??)

a/n: i literally just thought up this idea over this past week, and i've been sitting on it and SITTING ON IT and i was like, damn it- i just need to write something!! 😭 so here we are lol... preview and all~ 💀 i have no idea how long this one will be, but i'm expecting it to be over 10.k words so... that's fun!!! 😍 i plan on trying to write this entire thing tmrw, but we will see if i can actually focus enough to sit down for 5 hrs and do such a thing. 🥸 and before anyone gets on my case about the heavy topics in this, i'd just like to put it on the record that i've gone through a similar experience to this with having to put my acutely sick childhood dog down almost 2 years ago. it's an incredibly difficult decision to make, and i wouldn't wish it upon anyone. but, i've always wanted to write an au with minho as a vet, and i feel like he'd be amazing at handling this type of thing. hope all of that makes sense... let me know what ya'll think of this! 💕

🐈‍⬛ - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ

You knew the moment that he sat down, that something was wrong.

But this time?

No, this time it was very different.

His proud shoulders were slumped low, cheekbones dark with shadows, and plump, red lips pressed together in a firm line.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw once,

twice,

three times.

Then, and only then, did his eyes meet yours.

And they said all you needed to know.

Just by the way that his dark, chestnut-brown pupils danced with a myriad of emotions; apprehension, fear, compassion, but most of all… sadness.

“What is it?”

The words flowed from your lips before you even knew what you were asking, and almost immediately, you were sitting up a little straighter in your chair. Spine going rigid, fists growing tight at your sides.

Something swam, cool and deep, inside of you.

Chilling you to the bone, with tense unease.

In the depths of your mind, you felt the pinprick of ominous heartache prodding at the fleshy part of your soul.

The part that was weak and emotional and so very tender all of the time.

“I’m so sorry.”

Was the first thing Dr. Lee said.

“What’s wrong?” You prodded again, limbs growing a little shaky in your anxiety. Breath hitching in your chest agonizingly, you could physically feel your heart pushing against your ribs.

Aching,

Burning,

Already seeping with hurt, even though you didn’t quite know what was wrong just yet.

Dr. Lee ran a rough hand up and down his face, sighing into his palm, shaking his head once. Then, his fingers were running through his black locks, pulling at the roots just a tiny bit.

Almost like, this crushed him just as much as it was about to pain you.

“It’s about Nyx.”

Swallowing over the huge lump forming in your throat proved very difficult at that moment, but somehow - by some miracle - you did it.

Your tongue felt heavy inside of your mouth- like it was made of hard metal.

For a few beats, you couldn’t manage to form the right words, but when you did, you already felt the stability seeping out of you. Like you were a hot air balloon that had been poked with a sharp needle, with the hot air and sanity flooding from you in a single breath.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I-”

“Just fucking say it, Dr. Lee!” You suddenly exclaimed, voice straining from your quiet sobs. The fat tears rolled down either of your cheeks, leaving angry wet trails in their wake.

He was silent after that, gaze running up and down the length of you slowly. Like you were one of his animals that he assessed daily - like he was testing out your strength and resolve.

Then, his eyes snapped back up to meet yours, and they melted into two puddles of grief.

“It seems as though Nyx is suffering from an acute form of bone cancer.”

And just like, your heart completely stopped.

Each breath you took felt garbled and all wrong.

Your shaky legs and arms wobbled all around you.

The floor crumbled underneath your feet,

Breaking, cracking, shattering irrevocably.

And in that moment, you wished for nothing more but for it to open up completely, and swallow you whole.

Please,

Oh, fuck, please-

Just swallow me already.

Because anything,

Anything,

Would be better than this newfound hell.

To be continued...

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planet-dusk · 1 year

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pay me // s.cb

you're having the worst month of your life: you got dumped by your ex, lost your job and now your car has broken down. luckily, the mechanic knows a way for you to repay him.

⛓️ PAIRING :: seo changbin x f!reader

⛓️ GENRE :: smut, dubcon, car mechanic!au

⛓️ WORD COUNT :: 1.3k

⛓️ WARNINGS :: dubcon !!! (sex as payment), mc is a virgin, corruption, degradation, mention of anal, pussy spanking, unprotected sex, oral (m), possessive behavior

⛓️ NOTE :: 18+ minors dni. this work contains dubcon. proceed with caution if the above warnings may be triggering to you. i do not condone any of these actions. the characters don't represent real people. this is fiction for entertainment purposes only. don't edit, copy, repost or otherwise steal my content.

📍 skz masterlist

Your hands are shaking under the mechanic's stern gaze. Sweat coats your brow when your card declines for the third time.

“Are you sure the card works?” The man frowns. You’re standing in his small office at the back of the shop. It was the only one in town open on a Sunday and he towed your broken car all the way there.

You bounce on the balls of your feet. His dark eyes make you nervous. You know there’s not enough money in your account; the repair was more expensive than you expected.

“I can call someone. Let me grab my phone from my purse. It’s in the car.”

The truth is you have no idea who to ask for help. Your cheater of a boyfriend broke up with you last month. You don’t talk to your parents. And the handful of friends you’ve got all have their own troubles.

“So you can drive off without paying? Don’t think so.” The mechanic (Changbin, Seo according to the tag on his shirt) crosses his arms in front of his broad chest and watches you closely. “What kind of work do you do?”

“I-I,” you stutter, taken aback by the question. His probing eyes burn right through you so you don’t dare to tell him anything but the truth. If you’re lucky he might even take pity on you. “I got fired last month.”

“Sorry to hear that.” His smirk doesn’t match his words. “So I’m guessing you don’t have the money?”

“I promise I can pay you back later—”

He shakes his head and wipes his hands clean on a towel. “Heard that one too many times before. You’re not leaving without payment.”

Tears burn behind your eyes as everything around you comes crashing down. The breakup, losing your job, the car… It's too much. You blink the tears away and take a shaky breath. You’re not going to cry in the mechanic’s office.

The man steps closer and tilts your chin up with his hand. He smells like a mixture of motor oil and sandalwood. Something twists deep in your gut.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart.” He smiles. “I have a solution."

When the mechanic had told you how to repay your debt you’d expected he would want you to give him a quick handjob or suck him off. Even though you felt shame at such a transaction you had agreed. You didn’t see another way out. You’d just have to get him to cum quickly so you could leave and never think about this day again.

But it would be a lie to say your eyes weren’t drawn to his strong arms and muscular chest.

What you didn’t expect was for Changbin to put you over his lap with your skirt flipped up, the cold air hitting your exposed cunt.

He has been playing with your pussy for what feels like hours. His rough fingers circle your hole and trace your lips, ignoring your throbbing clit. It drives you crazy.

He laughs at your helpless wriggling and spreads your folds to spit in your hole. You can feel it trickle down together with the last of your dignity.

His wet thumb presses up higher, against your asshole and you gulp in surprise at the strange sensation.

“Have you been fucked here before?”

"N-no," you hiccup.

“Maybe I should be the first. Fuck your tight ass while your needy cunt stays empty until you’re begging me to cum.”

You can feel his heavy cock prodding at your stomach and you wince. He'll never fit. Fear mixes with arousal and he laughs again.

“Does that thought make you wet, sweetheart? Look at you. You’re fucking dripping.”

Changbin applies more pressure now, thumb almost breaching your rim. You realize he could do anything he wants to you.

And you would let him.

Shame washes over you and you hide your burning face in your hands.

"What's wrong, princess?" he mocks.

When you stay quiet Changbin slaps your pussy with the flat of his hand and you tremble at the sting. It’s the first attention your clit receives and the pain bleeds into a dull pleasure that settles in your core.

"Answer me."

You shake your legs anxiously. You and your ex never got the chance to take it any further than third base. He had already left you for another girl by then. One he could fuck any time he wanted. One that didn’t want to wait.

“I’ve never… I’m…” you start. “I’ve never had sex before.”

Changbin groans. You’re a virgin? His cock twitches at the thought of being the first man to fuck your pretty little cunt.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he echoes his earlier words. “I’ll ruin you for every man that comes after. Make sure you want nothing but my cock.”

You whine at his words. You feel so deprived you could cry.

"P-please," you whisper. The neediness in your own voice disgusts you.

"Please what? Please stop?"

You shake your head meekly. "Please, sir, want your cock."

Changbin laughs. "Such a spoiled little whore. Can't even pay me and now she wants my cock? What makes you think you deserve it?"

He slaps your clit again, harder this time. You sob.

“I-I’ll be good for you, sir.”

“You better be. I spent a whole day fixing your car.”

His strong arms hoist you up and he bends you over his desk, your hips hitting the hardwood tabletop. You hear him fumble with his zipper and then, without warning, you’re breached by his heavy cock.

You cry out at the burning sting, the stretch bringing tears to your eyes. “H-hurts, ah, sir—”

Changbin grunts and grasps your waist, setting a relentless pace. “You made a promise, sweetheart. Now pay me.”

You whimper and sob as his thick girth stretches you open. It’s a foreign sensation, pain mingling with pleasure until the sting fades away and all you can feel is the tightening knot in your tummy.

“You’re lucky no one else is here today to watch you getting fucked like a whore.” Changbin’s hands tighten their grasp. His hips snap into yours roughly, hard enough to bruise. “You fucking love this, don’t you?”

You mewl in response. It’s impossible to think straight when he’s pounding into you like this.

He laughs. “Who would’ve thought you’d be such a slut? Fuck, you’re so fucking tight. Gets me so hard, princess. Gonna make you cream around this cock until you can’t take it anymore.”

You’re crying and drooling all over his paperwork now. Your entire body burns in humiliation at getting fucked like this: bend over a desk in a repair shop, letting a stranger use your body for payment.

But the worst part is that you’re enjoying every minute of it.

“Make me cum, sir, please,” you’re begging him between sobs. You feel so high-strung you think you can snap at any moment.

Changbin slaps your ass harshly and you cum with a cry, your cunt squeezing around him like a vice. He fucks you through it until you’re clawing at his desk.

You gasp for air and try to squirm away from him. “Too much—sir, hhng, ahh—”

He pulls out and grabs your limp body to turn you around and force you down on your knees. You look up at him with wide eyes, red-rimmed and makeup smudged from crying.

“Look at what you do to me, sweetheart.” Changbin strokes your cheek and your shaky hands come up to guide his cock to your mouth. He’s fucked you so dumb you’d do anything to get more.

He rests the tip on your lips before pushing past them and drool spills from the sides of your mouth as you choke around his cock. “I think I’ll keep you here for a while longer, princess. Until I say your debt is paid.”

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids hard hours #skz hard hours #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #changbin smut #changbin x reader #stray kids yandere #kpop yandere #dom!idol #sub!reader #tw: dubcon #;skz longfic

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multifangirl69 · 2 years

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💖👻👀

💖 What do you like most about your own writing? My descriptions, I think, of emotions in particular. I like to be poetic and ✨extra✨. But I also like my dialogue a lot 👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up? 👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about? I'll answer these two together, because it has the same answer. The, no idea how else to call it, stripper au longfic I have started for Stray Kids. I still like the idea, but it might be too messy of an idea to actually put out there. I don't wanna say too much about the plot, but it involves Felix as a stripper and Chan being an emotional mess lmao

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angelselene · 3 years

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Whether or not it's canon, I have a thought for you: Reid in the fma world.

I just, of all the possible people in CM, Reid would enjoy it the most, find the most joy in it, and learn the most.

Also he'd probably become an alchemist.

Imagine him with Alphonse, oh my gods. They'd have scientific papers (plural) written in under a month. Idk what about, but something.

You know, it's funny--the current iteration of Wreckage is the *third* run I took at it. The first was just Roy and Ed in BAU world in some sort of badly thought-through witness protection thing. I wrote maybe 10 pages of it, and it's pretty terrible. The *second* run pulled almost the whole BAU team into FMA world. There is a *lot* of fun things I did with that, but it was 1) plot heavy (I am actually not kidding about hating plot), 2) I honestly had no freaking clue how to get anyone home, and 3) the BAU really felt let set pieces rather than participants in the plot. I just couldn't figure out anything they could bring to the table that was going to be helpful to Ed dealing with alchemists. I was still missing a piece. That missing piece ended up being that one episode of CM that I desperately needed a fix-it for, which dragged Roy and Ed back to the CM world.

One thing I *did* do when I made a run the second time was build a detailed outline of everything Roy and Ed had done and been through together in the 10 years before they meet the BAU, and that outline could be a longfic all of its own. Whether I decide to write it after Wreckage remains to be seen though.

Spencer in FMA world--oh my gosh, that could be so much fun, but he’s so challenging for me to write. Catching that sense of his speech in his perspective, trying to keep up with how quickly he processes information and the kinds of information he processes--I don’t think I do it very well. But I 100% agree, Spencer would learn alchemy, and he and Al would be writing papers like crazy. Penelope and Fuery would be too adorable. The whole BAU team stuck in Amestris is an interesting idea, but I don’t want to say anything more about it cause we’re straying into Read And Find Out territory... 😘

Regardless, lots of fun things you can imagine and play with from all perspectives. So very many ways to try to approach this combination, and I would love to see someone else’s take on it.

#wreckagefic #asks #plot bunnies #FMA #Criminal Minds #behind the scenes

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misscrawfords · 2 years

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4, 18, 20 and 30 (for the ask a fic author meme thing).

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

Uh, in my head I guess. I rarely write notes. The times I have done, I usually get about half way through and then tightly plot out the rest of the stories. Totally coincidentally, I'm sure, those are the ones I've finished!

20. What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

Hmm fandom wise...hmm. Hard to say. Most recently I've enjoyed all the secondary characters in Growing Beyond like Finn, Rose, Phasma... They're just very fun and have their own characters and backstories. SW modern AUs are great for ensembles. Rey's relationships with Finn and Rose are honestly my favourite.

30. Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

I thought you'd never ask! I've got two I've got bouncing around my head at the moment (I make up whichever I'm more in the mood for at any given time). The first is a James Bond/Alias Reylo AU - a light-hearted spy adventure story:

Rey Smith is an elite 00 agent, license to kill, working for MI6. But when her investigations into the terrorist organisation First Order bring her into contact with a mysterious masked warrior, she risks uncovering some secrets that MI6 would rather remain hidden - secrets that could hold the key to her own past.

I've always wanted to write a spy story (cheesy spy stories are honestly my favourite genre) and I'm slowly developing the plot for this.

The second is a pan-Austen university AU which I'm growing increasingly attached to, especially my unexpected crack OTP that has developed out of it (and now, I'm not saying who they are - that will be a crazy surprise if I ever write it):

Pemberley University, an idyllic Derbyshire campus on the outskirts of the small Peak District town of Lambton. Idyllic it may seem, but budget cuts and restructuring are causing any amount of stress to its faculty and students, especially the Head of Women's Studies, Dr. Elliot - though she's got more to worry about when her ex suddenly returns from America; and Student Council President Lizzy Bennet who is determined to fight the changes with everything she's got ("Down with Capitalism! Down with Patriarchy! Stick it to the Man!"). Also featuring characters and stories from all of Austen's novels woven together.

I think it would really work and I'm quite excited about it. It's just... a lot of characters and relationships to keep a track of!

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

HAaaaaaaah because I'm feeling contrary, I'm going to give you an extract from Chapter 4 of my next gen HP fic, "Cassandra" that I wrote as a teenager. I wish I'd been a good enough writer to finish it. I still think about it a lot and I love it. Anyway, I'm copying and pasting the extract here because I know for a fact nobody here has read it:

Context: 13 year old Cassandra Potter has been taken to a political meeting during the school holidays by her parents, Harry and Hermione, to be shown an example of how demoracy works. Predictably, it turns into a literal brawl. Cassandra is overwhelmed.

"Oh look! It's the little heiress! Look who'll get the galleons if her parents 'happen' to die! Ready to duel, Miss? I heard you were top of your class. You going to prove it?" He was an unpleasant looking fellow, and a good deal larger than me.

I almost considered turning down the challenge, but then I remembered that I was a Gryffindor, that I was Harry Potter's daughter and that I actually wouldn't mind trying out what I had learnt in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Then one of the man's friends said, "Aw, leave her, Spike. She's only a kid!"

That did it! I jumped up, flicked my hair out of my face and stood in the ready dueling position. I adapted my voice into the one that annoys Nero and Emilia Malfoy the most. "Actually, you know Spike, I am top of my class. How clever of you to find it out! I'm perfectly ready to prove myself."

He appeared taken aback, yet maintained eye contact with me as we circled. I had no idea what my parents were doing, or even where they were.

I was just about to fire my first spell when a hand grabbed my wrist from behind me. I let out a small scream. Spike yelled, "Here where do you think you're going, Potter?! You promised me a duel!"

The hand dragged me through the fighting crowd. "Let go of me!" I cried. I had a duel to finish or my honour as a witch would be damaged. Still, he was too strong. He pulled me out of the hall, through the vestibule and into a crisp, clear, cold winter's night. Eventually he let me go, once the door was shut behind us. It was Nero Malfoy.

"You- you!" Words failed me, I was so angry. I glared down at the red lines on my left wrist where his fingers had dug into my skin. I shook my arm in his face, "Look! Look what you did to me! How dare you! It hurts! Just look at it!"

"How can I look when you're shaking it so hard?" He grasped my hand again and stilled it. For a slender fourteen year old, he was pretty strong.

"Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

What a question! He almost looked concerned. Luckily I was not taken in. He was trying to get me off my guard and then jump me.

"Yes, it did hurt, actually! What did you mean by dragging me out like that?"

"That hall's no place for someone like you."

I was growing angrier by the second. "What sort of a sexist comment is that? Did you see my mother? dealing with five thugs at the same time?"

"That man who challenged you, Spike, do you know who he is?"

How Malfoy could be keeping calm and cool like he was was beyond me. "No, do I care?"

"You should. He's a trained assassin. He works for my dad."

The news gave me a slight shock; I had definitely not acted wisely. Still, I'd never let that on to Malfoy. "Says something about your family, doesn't it?" Nero flushed. "My father punched yours. Your father has to hire people to do his dirty work for him, my father fights his own battles. I don't appreciate your interference in my life- I can manage perfectly well without your help and nonsensical ideas of saving my life or whatever you thought you were doing." Inspiration hit me- "You're just scared yourself so you got yourself out by pretending to save me." I smiled triumphantly. I was right, of course.

Nero seemed to have eventually lost his cool. "Your wrong, Potter. If you can't see why I did it then you're blinder than I thought. Go back to your mudblood loving parents-"

I saw red, pulled out my wand and dashed at him, "DO NOT INSULT MY PARENTS! THEY ARE WORTH TWENTY OF YOURS! YOUR MUM WASN'T EVEN AT THE BLASTED MEETING!"

He grabbed my wrist to stop me cursing him, "Don't say that about my mother!"

We struggled outside while our parents struggled inside. Eventually, when I thought I was getting the better of him I panted, "I'm going back inside to fight Spike and you can't stop me!" Somehow I found I had been pushed against the wall. I tried to pull Nero's wrists off mine. I was very out of breath.

"I can and will!" he hissed, his face a bare few inches away from mine.

The door opened and Catherine Shortstraw appeared into the night. She saw me immediately, "Cassandra!"

Malfoy let go of my wrists and jumped about a metre back. "Nero!" Catherine said in equal surprise. She walked quickly towards us and glanced at each of us in turn. "Now, what's been going on here? That you want to tell me about, that is," she added. She sent a somewhat confused look towards me. I was too out of breath to answer and I was nursing my arms.

Nero answered smoothly, though he too seemed a little puffed, "Cassandra was being attacked by a very dangerous man. I brought her out here."

My godmother's eyes lighted up for a second, "That seems very sensible, Nero. I shall talk to you about who that person was when we return to school."

He nodded, "Yes, Professor."

"Thank-you again, Nero. Now, Cassandra, I think you'd better come with me." She put her arm around me and steered me towards the dark blob in the distance that was the car park. I felt overcome with exhaustion. "I'm glad you came," I muttered. I did not look back at Malfoy.

Catherine and I walked in silence for a bit then out of the blue she asked, seemingly embarassed, "You and Nero, you were, er...er..."

"Fighting, you mean? Yes, of course we were! What did you think we were doing? Drinking tea?!"

Catherine looked relieved and even more embarrassed, but would not enlighten me.

So, anyway, I wrote that when I was 14, not much older than Cassandra herself. I know that it lacks a lot of subtlety and has more wrist grabs than a Korean drama from 2010 and I would definitely change some things now, but it's also doing a lot of the things I was trying to experiment with in that fic and it was a scene I was super excited to write at the time. The thing I loved about that fic was having Cassandra as an unreliable first person narrator. She's totally wrong about, well, just about everything that happens to her and I really loved writing from her perspective while also trying to show through the narrative what was actually happening. This extract, for example, shows the first time Nero steps into the spotlight in the story. So far he's just been in the background making typical Malfoy-esque snide remarks to her and her friends. But this is the first time they really interact and actually he's not behaving like a stupid bully. Not that Cassandra can see it. She's also very emotionally immature even for a 13 year old so she totally fails to pick up on certain undertones in their interaction that her godmother, the responsible adult in the situation, certainly does. So writing such a complex and oblivious heroine was very exciting to me. And I was also very excited to bring Nero forwards and begin his character arc as the story's anti-hero. Both of them are dealing with their parents' legacies and inherited prejudices and they deal with them in different ways and Nero's character development and journey was one of my all time favourite things about the story, not that I ever fully explored it, alas. He became very quickly ride-or-die for Cassandra - "There's my wife!" from about the age of 15 and it was extremely annoying for him. It takes her a lot longer to get with the scene, obviously.

One day, somehow, I'll find a way to tell their story in an original context. They're my OC OTP for ever and ever, probably. Teenage me knew what she wanted. :P

#rose is a writer #fanfiction #thank you for letting me talk about my favourite things!

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