#that's almost half my life

[hel7l7]

I'm afraid that I've gotten so used to being in therapy that I won't know how to behave in the outside world

#this-series #therapy #vent art #venting #mixed media #nothing against therapy #but i've been in therapy for 10 years now #with inpatient stays and all #that's almost half my life #idk how to do normal stuff #i do know what to do when someoen has a panic attack or shares a horribly traumatic story in a therapy session

[candy-pants]

Socks with Sandals turned 11 today! GOOD LORD

#that's almost half my life

[protosymphonette]

whenever i get bored with drawing i make a new and exciting brush

#half life #gordon freeman #barney calhoun #freehoun #first one inspired by me trying to get the gravity gun only ravenholm achievement #i almost shit my pance #barney is so hard for me but i will never stop trying. hes my white whale #symphonart

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

OKAY who wants to hear about why i think nimona challenges amatonormativity? you do! 🫵

one of the main ways this is accomplished is through ballister and ambrosius’s relationship. it’s arguable that it doesn’t necessarily fit the traditional model of romance - not only are they a queer interracial couple, and not only is their relationship ambiguous in the book, but there are certain instances, especially in the movie, that subvert traditional ideas of romance and friendship.

one instance that really stands out to me is when the director asks ambrosius what’s on his mind and he goes on his imagined rant about how arm-chopping isn’t a love language - you know the one. when he mentions ballister, he refers to him as “the man i love, my best friend.” and not just one or the other, but both! the man i love, and my best friend. he places equal emphasis on both the romantic and platonic aspects of the relationship, valuing ballister in both a romantic context and a platonic context without treating either one as more important than the other.

and even moments such as the first “i love you” and the kiss manage to subvert tradition. both of these things are generally seen as a pretty big deal, especially in fiction - if the characters are kissing or saying “i love you,” it’s usually a moment in which everything changes. a line is drawn, dividing the story into after and now. sometimes it’s dramatic and climactic, with fireworks and a swell of music, but even when it isn’t it’s still seen as a turning point of sorts. now it’s official, now it’s real. but this isn’t the case in nimona. both moments are certainly significant - they do a good job of showcasing the character development and where ballister and ambrosius are on their respective journeys, and are certainly important in terms of representation - but neither one follows the path that most fictional romance does.

another way in which nimona challenges amatonormativity would be the emphasis on friendship! in the tavern scene (in the movie) when ambrosius suggests killing nimona, ballister disagrees and says “she’s my friend.” ambrosius replies with “aren’t i more than that?”, implying he’s more important than a friend - thus upholding amatonormative ideas. ballister becomes angry at that and leaves - challenging this idea and prioritizing his platonic relationship with nimona over his romantic one with ambrosius, as nimona is the one he wants to defend.

additionally, a big part of this scene is the way ballister deliberately rejects institute values while ambrosius unintentionally upholds them. and because the story challenges homophobia and transphobia (and other forms of bigotry) through the lens of the institute, it would make sense for it to challenge amatonormativity too! it’s something that’s become incredibly normalized, to the point that lots of people don’t even know it exists, and this is reminiscent of the institute brainwashing, especially when it comes to ambrosius - he’s been manipulated his whole life and probably genuinely doesn’t understand the level to which he’s internalized institute beliefs.

ballister prioritizes nimona many times, actually. when he tells ambrosius she’s “smart, kind, and quite sophisticated,” when he’s overjoyed to see her again at the end, when he refuses to kill her and saves her instead. over and over, he proves how much he cares about her, even when this involves directly going against what ambrosius wants - which, of course, is really what the institute wants. a core tenant of amatonormativity is the false notion that romantic relationships are more important or valuable than other types of relationships, but ballister actively goes against this!

to conclude, as a story that at its core is about identity and challenging societal beliefs, nimona defies expectations and traditional ideas of what it should or shouldn’t be. it’s possible that amatonormativity wasn’t what the creators had in mind, but the story still manages to challenge it with grace and elegance. just like its main character, nimona refuses to conform to what others want it to be.

#nimona #nimona movie #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #ambrosius x ballister #nimona netflix #nd stevenson #nimona spoilers #i could go on tbh but i think this is a digestible amount #often when i’m writing a meta i’ll walk around in circles talking into my phone recording my thoughts out loud #and then i’ll play it back and put the most coherent stuff into a list which eventually becomes paragraphs #and the combined recordings for this one are about half an hour in total lol #i’m just. absolutely in love with the whole story. both the book and the movie mean so incredibly much to me #changed my life shaped me as a person etc etc :’) #OH i almost forgot. this analysis is dedicated to the person who sent me aphobic anon hate about it before it even existed lol #i know i said i wouldn’t post anything if people couldn’t be normal but idc actually. seethe with rage! <3 #my words #meta

[lovehours]

i don’t even fucking care

#house md #house spoilers #hilson #the fact that house is consistently selfish. that he’s an addict. he’s always in pain #but he gave up his vicodin for wilson. mind you the pain in his thigh must have been excruciating #bc consistently whenever he’s extremely stressed or worried the pain gets worse #but wilson is still his priority. he put wilson above the burning pain god man😭 #him giving up his freedom HIS LIFE for someone who has less than half a year to live like oh my god #the love house has for wilson actually makes me sick bc even outside of the cancer arc house has done things for wilsons sake #like almost killing himself just to help him and amber. drugging him at that one conference from s6 #he’s an asshole often times but he truly is the only constant in his life. they both are for each other #i actually feel sick. im not on everybody dies yet (im on the c word rn) but god idk how im gonna get thru this😭 #5x13 big baby #8x19 the c word #1x01 everybody lies #8x22 everybody dies #7x15 bombshells #8x21 holding on #where the quotes are from btw #sorry for the essay in tags

[skippersthecat]

This goes for all his friends but it's Teruhashi posting time

#this boy put on a whole costume to threaten saiko when he threatened teruhashi #he calls his friends pests #but then scolds half a school for taking advantage of teruhashi's kindness when she fainted #he loves his friends #like with almost all my posts this isnt a ship post #but you can make it one if you want idc #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #teruhashi kokomi #saiki k memes

[crechurechaos]

i am so normal about themg 👍👍

bonus (helfp i keep laughing at thism, i need sleep so bad)

#hlvrai #half life but the ai is self aware #hlvrai fanart #hlvrai benrey #hlvrai gordon #benrey #gordos feetman #frenrey #i actually almost forgot that tag LMA #art #fanart #digital art #car seat headrest #experimental art #eyestrain #cw eyestrain #i hope this looks alright because this was like astigmatism hell for me AJBSJABSJ #also this song has TAKEN OVER MY LIFEEEE need it injected into my veins rn #lowkey feeling really selfconcious about this help ajdbsjabddbsj #unrelated but for some reason the ending of that song has become a vocal stim for me bjsbdjsdb #ok bye whoever may be reading this have a good dayyyyyy

[canneddolts]

i have a billion ideas on the barney clones that i could never write down So. Images

#the 1st image is moreso trying to simplify the Actual Real Photorealstic Blue Shift Barney #but yk #to me barney clones are all almost the same guy #but they all have small differences #and theyre all called barney too #j the last names are different like in the locker room #its funny to me & thats my basis of hcs #hl1 #half life #half-life #barney calhoun #my stuff #half life blue shift #ALSO IDK HOW THE HELMETS WORK #i always made it j a box and a circle #bc im lazy but it like shows their ears #ooeuughh

[silusvesuius]

fly high

#my art #ildari sarothril #flat chested queen #the scar on her face is just decorative to make her look more outwardly scary but she probably got it when n*loth missed some spell on - #- accident or something and she walked off her face almost being torn in half like a man so that n*loth wouldn't think she's a little - #- bitch for crying even though she;s never experienced that type of pain in her life and couldn't even fathom it up to that point and it - #- gave her permanent brain damage #i learned to draw her just so i could put her in my dr*gon ball au cause i figured out who she will be but she's FUN ok #also i still don't like white hair on dunmer Bruh but hers can be explained by her greying in 0.0004 after n*loth ripped her chest open #idk she's been through a lot ig :)

[dammjamboy]

my piece for the @frenreyzine !!

#almost forgot to post this here!! #frenrey #half life vr but the ai is self aware #hlvrai #gordon freeman #benrey #my art #frenreyzine

[hyperfocusthusly]

Imagine that your first girlfriend ever turned into the moon and then the guy you’re going on a gay adventure with can only manage “that’s rough buddy”

|| coloured edition ||

#Alexa add this to ‘lines that changed my life’ #jury is out as to whether I will ever colour this in #I came back to it and accidentally drew half of it in the wrong size pen #so I had to go back over almost all of it #a true nightmare #but it’s here now #my favourite idiots #and their adventures into lava #avatar the last airbender #atla #sokaiya #atla sokka #zuko #atla zuko #atla fanart #fanart #my art #procreate #zukka #atla zukka

[hoofpeet]

perpetually suffering the tortures lately

#don't ever make a very complex/esoteric story based around a pre-existing fandom .worst mistake of my life #<-(the tortures) #half joking but the autism has been extremely agonizing lately in almost every way imaginable #.mostly just in the typical way of. it being impossible to believe i can actually be welcomed in any sort of fandom/community #and feeling horribly embarrassed about continuously pushing my posts into tags where people are trying to enjoy themselves #so. been spending the last month or so trying to beat my brain out of being hyperfixated on the blorbos to the point of embarrassment #<--putting this here mostly as an apology/explanation ig for not posting much lately . #trying to exile myself from the fandom + in general. it has been hard to do literally anything but lay in bed all day #also as well as just like. summer sensory hell + sadd moments #ough . the tortures

[uncanny-tranny]

It's really frustrating being trans sometimes with cis loved ones because other cis people will go, "oh but it's such a huge adjustment for them! They're grieving for your pre-transition self/they aren't used to the change yet/it's hard on them!"

It's just so frustrating that people forget that trans people's feelings on this matter, too. Cis people aren't the only ones who have adjustments to make. Frankly, as much as I sympathize with cis people in this position, I can't help but be really jaded about it because so often, cis people jump to the defense of other cis people and they will seemingly forget to or refuse to give the same grace to trans people.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #like at what point is it 'they aren't used to it yet!' and it morphs into 'that person is actively refusing to acknowledge you' #i'm at a point now where i have been out as trans for half my life. at what point is this willfully refusing to see *me* #it's just amazing that it doesn't matter what the trans person could do because it's their fault for bringing 'burden' onto cis people #i UNDERSTAND that it can be hard for family for instance to flip a switch with their trans loved one... #...but i can't help but notice that so often it's because they *refuse to try* #why is it that cis people can do almost anything to trans people but trans people must be perfectly understanding and perfectly... #...content with whatever cis people in our lives have to say about how hard it is on THEM... #...like that's insulting to me. imagine being so willfully incompassionate... #...i'm worried about if i'm safe in my own workplace or in my gym or in a medical setting... #...i feel like we need a sense of scale about who is most affected by transness in this scenario... #...because i would RATHER be grieving over somebody's transness than worrying if i'll be hatecrimed... #...there's a difference in the experience between a trans person and the cis people in that trans person's life learning to adjust to... #...that person's transness. which is why i don't think it's comparable to say that cis people have it just as hard in this case #transphobia #transphobia tw

[bat-bytes-back]

hi

#pretty lady you scare me #bat draws #my art #g-man #gman #g-woman #gwoman #I'm under the firm belief that if gman was a transwoman she would look almost exatly the same with like #slighter higher heels on her shoes and a SLIGHTLY altered suit #I just felt like fucking around here #also those earrings are so her coded ngl #hl #half-life #half life #gwomansweep #second most pretiest girl I have seen #second to my gf I love you Howl

[tsuunara]

,, BSD FANDOM STOP FUCKING MISCHARACTERIZING CHUUYA FOR ONE SECOND CHALLENGE

i need to get this out of my head because i can't do this anymore with ppl who mischaracterize chuuya so much

tw ; opinion and lots of stormbringer and 15 spoilers! i think it's safe to put that here (also sorry for my poor wording of this i'm trying my best here sob sob justice for chuuya!!!)

"chuuya would be a red flag in relationships because he has incredible anger issues and gets violent!"

,, what a bullshit statement LOL i'm (not) sorry for saying this but i really don't think chuuya has any anger issues whatsoever?? NOW JUST HEAR ME OUT FOR A SECOND being short-tempered ≠ having anger issues!!! ,, having anger issues is something you CAN'T control and causes you to say or do things that can cause harm to others. chuuya does NOT have anger issues!!! we relatively don't see chuuya taking his anger out towards ANYONE with NO CONTROL over his actions whatsoever (arahabaki excluded, it's literally a god of destruction)

,, "but he takes it out on dazai!! he fought with him!!"

,, chuuya mentions that it was to SPITE him. when dazai and chuuya are together, i'd say chuuya is more pissed and annoyed because dazai is usually pushing is buttons. he's just a bit short-tempered and loses it a little more easier than others! of course he also does loses his temper a bit whenever he's stressed as well (that one cannibalism arc episode!!! where he said "son of a bitch") but he didn't particularly go KABOOM KABOOM, ifykwim. ,, we can also see him relatively calm and serious with his work in some episodes too!! he's not yapping and exploding all the time, because obviously he's a 22 year old man. throughout these 7 years, chuuya WOULD'VE learned to mature himself and control his emotions ESPECIALLY after going through his trauma.

,, "but chuuya is violent all the time!"

,, "all the time" ? bffr LMAO. okay sure, chuuya is MAFIA EXECUTIVE and that's part of his job. but that doesn't mean he's always killing this and that!! literally in the official wiki it mentions how chuuya isn't "impossible to reason with" when dealing with his enemies!!

,, ALSO FURTHER PROOF THAT CHUUYA ISN'T SOME COLD-BLOODED KILLER WHO KILLS EVERYONE HE SEES!! in stormbringer, we're up to the scene where N literally tells chuuya that he wasn't human and literally TORTURES HIM, verlaine - the man who KILLED off all his friends - gets him to kill N. but guess fucking what? CHUUYA DIDN'T!!! he tried to go for verlaine instead!! and he also sympathized with him because he KNEW where he was coming from as well!!

,, also!! when he was betrayed by the sheep in the 15 arc, dazai gave chuuya the choice of what to do with them when he was ordered to kill both the sheep and the GSS. and chuuya told him not to kill any of the sheep - most likely due to the fact that he actually still sees them as his family (give this man a break wtf) ,, even if we see chuuya angry at times, at most we can justify his anger - i mean who wouldn't go feral if you had to face the man who killed all your friends or the man who literally killed off your original self, tortured you and told you you weren't human? if anything, it's a very human thing if im being honest. (further proof that chuuya is human) ,, now, bringing back to our bullshit statement - why would chuuya need to get angry or violent if he loves his s/o? chuuya may be a red flag and has his flaws but i REALLY don't see the need for him to take any of his anger out on his s/o. he's really not angry 24/7 all the time, nor does he always NEED to use violence even as being part of the mafia - and just so you know, it's confirmed that chuuya would treat women the best out of everyone!!!! so let's just call it a day and go home guys 🤗🤗🤗

tldr; there would be no need for chuuya to get angry or violent if he loves his s/o, being a mafia executive does NOT necessarily mean he is violent all the time as he sympathizes with others, chuuya does NOT have anger issues and just loses his temper a little more easier than others (especially when it comes to dazai), and asagiri literally confirms he respects women.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. have a good day, evening or night ^_^

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #u may not know it but i am COMING FOR YOU said person who said that statement #fuck you btw u stink for that #(almost) slash half joke because we're actually friends... #i will defend this man for my LIFE #justice for chuuya #i love him a normal amount i promise #bsd #chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara

[ohboy-herewegoagain]

Spoilers but here we go

Ok so. I want to say that I did not look at leaks or anything and I still knew immediately that the sampo in the main story was not Actually Sampo. I figured it was sparkle but that wasn't my own theory, I saw some people say it and it made sense. I knew immediately when "he" didn't introduce himself w his full name, and then I had to pause the game because that's a weird thing to be able to deduce I fear.

But the companion quest?? Oh boy

Because my first thought when Sampo showed up there was "he seems much more... real", and the more he talked in that first scene the more I started to get my hopes up. Props to his VA for being able to have his Sampo voice (which already switches up tonally a lot) and the Sparkle Sampo voice, which sounds very different (if you're insane like me and know what the guy's voice sounds like intimately). In the companion mission he's a lot similar tonally to the Sampo on Jarilo, and I got really excited that we were gonna get actual Penacony Sampo

I had heard that Sampo and Sparkle don't get along, and I didn't guess the 'twist' until right before the end, so I was viewing Sampo's participation in the whole detective thing as a "I am playing along but Aeons I hate that woman". Identity theft is not a joke kids, but the Masked Fools as a general rule seem to disagree

Unrelated, but was anyone else a little disappointed by Black Swan? I got hyped about a semi-omnipresent wise.... i dont know, but she's a lot less formal than I thought. I'll get over it tho

And the conversation at the end... I'm seeing a lot of people assume that this memory (and therefore the dream we go through as the companion mission) is from before the Express lands on Jarilo-IX, but I really don't think so. Watch me get proven wrong, but I really do think theyre setting up another major conflict in Belobog, and Sampo's preparing himself to help out Belobog's citizens. I'm hoping that might be a change for a Sampo 5star, and I desperately want that.

and yes, I think we're gonna get a sampo 5star before a march 5star. She's the logo of the game, her secrets will not be spilled so easily.

I think there's gonna be a huge thing on Jarilo after Penacony finishes up, we're gonna return to the planet to lend a hand, and the threat will be big enough that Sampo is changing his role - his mask - to do something about it. Hopefully, you know, helpfully, but I'll take anything at this point

AND WE STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN A SAMPO TRAILER YET DAMNIT

#morgan's madness #honkai star rail #sampo koski #honkai star rail spoilers #I do think the lack of a sampo trailer is pretty telling #and you know what? this bastard has managed to make me start writing fic again for the first time in like three years. so good job #this makes no sense but its 1am and I've been riding the hyperfixation adrenaline high for about 2 and a half days nonstop - #with just star rail and almost a whole week and a half just jumping from one intense interest to another. my life is in shambles