#the best sequence of episodes in all of glee

[somebodylovesyougcv]

This might make me sound like an actual psychopath but tonight i am watching the triple header of plan and execution/point and shoot/fun and games and it’s literally going to soothe my soul like when i was on campus abt to go to class feeling like i was gonna have a panic attack i just told myself that tonight i can watch better call saul and it’ll all be okay

#olivia’s corner #reminds me of when i worked at the grocery store 3 years ago #and would come home from work so on edge #and put on my triple header: born this way #rumors #prom queen #the best sequence of episodes in all of glee #maybe rivaled by 4.13 4.14 4.15 #or 2.14 2.15 2.16

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragonball Z: Abridged Episode 8 Review

Originally posted August 16th, 2015

Team Four Star finds their groove.

Season 1 of Dragonball Z: Abridged is an incredibly rocky season. Throughout the first few episodes, Team Four Star tries to find themselves as artists and (re)writers, experimenting with different styles of humor, editing, sound design, and pacing all throughout. This, naturally, can be very difficult to watch, almost like attending a student film festival: there’s seeds of talent and skill scattered all throughout, but on the whole it’s kind of a mess, as no one really knows what they’re doing well enough to nurture those seeds properly.

Of course, the thing about student film festivals is that anyone who works hard enough can come back the next year stronger than ever, having learned much and settled into their artistic comfort zone. And in comparison to the first episode of Dragonball Z: Abridged, “Nappa’s Best Day Ever” is like the next year’s entry at a student film festival: it’s better written, better paced, and significantly more comfortable with itself.

“Best Day Ever” covers the fight between the Saiyans and the heroes currently on earth, and it does so by embracing Team Four Star’s greatest strength as comedy writers: rapid fire, joke-based storytelling. They also fully lean into the strength of two fairly risky jokes, trusting themselves to deliver it, and trusting that we will trust them.

The first risky joke is the Krillin Limit Break sequence, and its risk comes from it being referential humor, rather than character based. Unlike most of the referential humor before, however, Team Four Star leans fully into this joke by making it a visual joke as well as a line, trusting that it knows its audience well enough to get a reference to Final Fantasy VII (we are watching an anime abridged series after all). The second risky joke is Nappa’s destruction montage, where he flies around destroying earth’s armies and navies while joyful music matches his own glee. The lack of sound effects unfortunately makes the joke not land as well as it could, but it still stands as a strong sequence overall.

This episode also delivers on the dark foreshadowing of the last. Including Yamcha, three people die in this episode, with Chaotzu sacrificing himself pointlessly and Tien desperately trying and failing to avenge him. It’s pretty dark stuff, and Team Four Star leans into this material as strongly as they do the humor; Krillin and Tien are both played incredibly by Lanipator and Ganxingba respectively, showing the absolute frustration, fear, and desperation they both feel as the result of losing their friends and facing off against these seemingly invincible warriors.

Rating: 4.5/5

If you liked this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

Mr. Kent: “And there you have it folks: that man is dead. Very, very dead.” Newscaster: “Mr. Kent, if you had to come up with a word for how dead he is, what would it be?” Mr. Kent: “Cadaver-iffic.”

Raditz: “I. Hate. All of you.”

Vegeta: “Hold on, you went to college?” Nappa: “Yep.” Vegeta: “What the hell could someone like you major in?” Nappa: “Child psychology.” Gohan: “Wow, that sounds really interest-“ Nappa: “WITH A MINOR IN PAIN!”

Krillin Owned: Seven.

#dragon ball z abridged #dragon ball z #team four star #dbza #film criticism #dbza ep08 #aug 16 2015 #if the biggest critique i have is that i could have somewhat phrased things better #i'd say i'm doing pretty good #the student film festival metaphor is also pretty good #in part because i have seen so many bad student films #i've made plenty too of course #but out of all the bad student films i've seen #dbza ranks pretty high up #its lows are never as bad as some of the shit i watched #i'll take a mediocre joke over mastubatory pretension any day

[spaceorphan18]

Hi. - thanks for the response on the podcast. I agree exactly with everything you’ve said. I didn’t want to say it myself, I just wanted to see if you thought as I did.

Yeah it’s a cringey storyline - and i guess it’s supposed to be with gay guy crushing on straight guy, and Kurt bring a bit inappropriate, as he’s young and naive.

I was frustrated that Kevin and Jenna had forgotten it - yes they said they weren’t there for the shooting if it, but is that how they’re gonna be for all the Kurt/Klajne stuff going forward? And that it was their “C” storyline, with the Will and April plot being more important.

And they totally didn’t get the point of Kurt being outside looking in, and how that is poignant for his storyline and how he feels at that moment - they were just a bit giggly about it all! And usually they can appreciate the brilliance of Chris and how he really gets Kurt’s feelings across.

Thanks again!

Oh anytime, Nonny, like I said - y'all are always welcome to come visit and chat about these things!

I just goes to show that different things resonate with different people. I've become immune to a lot of the cringy stuff on the show because I've seen it just so many times. I mean Blaine and Karofsky has grown on me even though it is completely bonkers.

But I mean - think of all the people out there ship(ped) Finchel and Brittana and the 900 other glee ships out there. Because that story line resonated with them. I have a feeling that Kevin and Jenna aren't going to be that interested in anything outside of their own story lines when it comes to these things. I mean, I totally get why they'd adore all the Tartie stuff, and I find it 'meh' at best.

But not even just related to shipping things -- they love the Terri stuff. Even though I appreciate Jessilyn Glisig's acting - I still find her annoying to listen to. They really seemed to be over the moon for Will and April in Home -- specifically the duet the had. Yes, it's artistically done very well -- I also, personally, find it an incredibly boring sequence.

*shrugs*

I do agree - usually they're more gushing about Chris. And not that they have to be all the time, but I do think this is one of his stronger episodes, so it was a little weird that they didn't say anything.

But at the end of the day - it's their podcast. I honestly don't think they're taking it all that seriously, nor do I think they're giving it all that much thought either. *shrugs again*

<3 <3

[launching-a-thousand-ships]

Kurt Glee Rewatch: Showmance

Episode 2! Not much Kurt this ep, but won’t stop me from ranting about everything else. I swear this is Kurt centric, i just have a lot of thoughts lol. Also yay, we get the incredible acapella transition music. Love it

Omg why is Will so dumb, ugh. And this opening sequence....

Like, Rachel appears and has Finn offering help. Mercedes, Artie, and Tina are hanging together, having fun.

And then Kurt, exactly the same as the pilot. Nothing has changed for him. And he’s still defiant with the ‘One day you will all work for me’ I just. This kid...

Side note, Chris has mentioned injuries during the dumpster toss (that poor guy spent so much of the run in the emergency room legit). So Kurt has prob come home with broken toes etc, how the hell does he explain to his dad.

And gee, no wonder kurt hates ppl touching him/being close so much bc. Oof.

Omg, as if we didn’t have enough of Will reliving glory days. Choosing the song they sang back in the day. It’s a ‘crowd pleaser’ yeah, not anymore. If you want the kids to have the right attitude, maybe let them choose the song? Don’t Stop was the best performance so far and hm, Will had nothing to do with it. Interesting.

And omg Kurt saying ‘It’s really gay’ like is it him saying that as snark bc if he thinks it’s gay then damn it’s really cringe. But also he’s prob trying to fit in, bc gay means bad right? So he can totally use gay as an insult. Bc he’s totally not gay. Oh, Kurt.

Kurtcedes already strong. I love the little exchange “You look like a technicolour zebra” “If you’re hair were longer it would have curls” like... their chemistry is everything.

Wow, Will offers Finn solo, he says no, so Will just doesn’t ask anyone else?? Isn’t he a teacher????

And so begins Kurt being unimpressed with Will’s teaching. Notice, they never really have a connection/heart to heart convo? Kurt seems closer with Sue, tbh. And omg, Will, what are you doing to Artie’s glasses?? And oof, the wrapping.

Liked the hint of a single ladies hand at the start... I saw that, Kurt

Kurt with that deadpan delivery “Blood?”. Chris is so great with comedy, I wonder how much input he had with lines lol. 

No but this whole sequence is so much. Amazing how they can be so inappropriate and so unsexy I just... omg, the discomfort, the horror.

But also Kurt is so chill with this. We will get to the whole ‘baby penguin’ thing, but here, Kurt’s a performer. He’s going along with this. He freaking slaps Finn’s butt (I wonder if he did that impulsively or if it was part of the choreo?? Finn wasn’t surprised so had to be planned???)

Also love how they’re plan is ‘sex’ and the costumes.... with the kneepads? And Kurt, why do you have a fanny pack???? This whole sequence is just so insane and bizarre... and the school loves it?? Beginning the retcon of McKinley hating glee, but loving their performances???? I don’t... whatever

No other Kurt in the ep, sadly. We do get Say a Little Prayer for You and omg, life goal to learn the choreo to any Unholy Trinity song. It’s so amazing, I love Quinn’s voice and their dancing is so delicate and smooth just... top tier. Even tho the backing vocals are definitely not Naya or Heather...

And that’s ep2. Not much Kurt, but next ep... there’s some stuff. Yay.

#glee rewatch #glee #Kurt Hummel #Glee Season 1 #glee showmance

[creativeashproductions]

Reluctant Vacation // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: The niece of the infamous Kenny Ortega had its advantages and disadvantages, you received insight on his projects but felt guilty saying no. Kenny seeing the exhaustion pulling you down invites to the set of Julie and the Phantoms where you rediscover your love with the field.

Warning: Swearing and fluff.

 Words 2.2k

A/N: I do take requests. It may take a bit to get to them but I’ll post some.

Please ask to be tagged in my inbox because I can’t promise you will be through commenting on the posts!

Masterlist

The sigh came from deep in your chest wanting to drop to the floor for an exhaustion induced nap, but an airport wasn’t the best place. Large sunglasses obscured people from seeing the deep bags under your eyes on the way to the film lot. It was coming full circle, the change different from the frantic schedule you had had recently. When Kenny called you hadn’t hesitated in packing and buying a ticket.

“Miss Y/L/N?” The voice pulled you from your thoughts as a man holding a card with your name displayed. He was of Puerto Rican descendent with a young girl beside him with similar features, “I’m Ricardo. This is my daughter Madison.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m-“

“Y/N Y/L/N.” Madison supplied with a beaming grin on her face having recognized you from your role as Sabrina in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina along with movies.

All you could do was send a fragile smile in response after a long sleepless flight to Canada.

Madison’s eyes saddened at the exhaustion you carried, “I can fangirl later. You looked really tired.”

“Kenny saw and asked me to come over the guise of help, but he knows I need a break. He’s lucky I don’t need to be on set for a few weeks.” You replied, covering a yawn as you found yourself at a car, the walk a blur.

Unintentionally you found yourself asleep in the backseat the moment you settled back there for the drive. You had filmed in Vancouver before, so it wasn’t a huge deal, and the Reyes’ duo didn’t have the heart to wake you up.

“We’re here,” Madison whispered with the back-car door opened. Your eyelids fluttering at her voice, giving Madison a closer look at your face.

Walking on set, you saw Kenny giving one of his pep talks before he cut himself off at the sight of you. The actors surrounding him furrowed their brows as the legendary director power walked to a person concealed behind Mads.

“Sweetheart.” Kenny beamed, pulling his niece in for a hug before leaning back to scan her features, “You need a nap.”

“I need to meet your new cast.” You snickered stepping around the man to the three actors he had abandoned to see you. You found amusement in their widening eyes at the sight of the Y/N walking to them.

“Oh, my shit.” Owen gasped freaking out as the actress co-starring in the new Spider-Man trilogy came closer.

Last night Owen, Charlie and Jeremy had hosted a movie night in the rented apartment the first two rented. They had quickly made their way through Captain America: Civil War before watching the following movies with Spider-Man. You had a cameo in Captain America: Civil War before becoming a star in Homecoming and Far From Home.

“We manifested her.” Charlie hissed frantically fixing his set costume growing a blush at the smile you wore. He could feel the hair stylist on standby glaring at his tousled locks.

The girl in question came to a stop before the three guys portraying the phantoms of the show in the second season. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the expressions each one of them had.

“Hello.” You greeted flattered when the tall blonde one turned a blossom pink at the voice of an angel. Charlie and Owen had developed celebrity crushes on you.

In revenge, Tori, a returning choreographer and background character, saw Charlie’s expression along with a familiar girl. After filming season one ended the previous year you had stopped by during the filming process of CAOS to catch up with Kenny. Tori had been there and you two became friends.

“Hey!” Tori grinned, pulling you into a hug, “These three binged your MCU movies last night, and Charlie’s wallpaper is you.”

“Tori!”

“This is what you get for telling Booboo about the poster!” Tori called to the Canadian boy jogging out his area. Charlie’s cheek darkened more than Owen’s as your smile grew bigger.

“No worries Ghost. Luke definitely my favourite character and gotta say you should have been on Charmed more than two episodes.” You supplied walking backwards to Kenny once more yearning for a night’s rest after the flight.

“Holy shit.” Charlie choked smacking Jeremy’s arm repeatedly, “She knows me. Oh, oh, OH. She’s seen me-“

 “-Getting it on for a scene.” Jeremy snickered as his friend grew more and more flustered, “That was tame compared to her and Tom going at it.”

Charlie’s face dropped being reminded of the explicit scene you had done with Tom Holland in the movie that came out near the end of 2020. The Devil All the Time was the only film out of the MCU you had done with Tom. You had played the promiscuous daughter of a devout, loyal churchgoer and close friend of the preacher.

“Didn’t they date for a few months?” Owen questioned thinking back to the media mayhem during the virtual press for the film.

Owen was correct with the chemistry between you and Tom it was natural you would do interviews together via shared video chats. Charlie watched every single one that came out with interest. He hadn’t even expected the film to do so dark and explicit, but you had a natural talent.

“English, handsome, actor-“ Charlie started to list off on the English actor with a far more extensive list of credits. Charlie felt like a Canadian child in the city of Los Angeles compared to your leading man.

“-runs a charity with his family.” Jeremy continued raising one eyebrow, “At least he isn’t tall. You’d be fully screwed.”

Charlie shoved his teasing friends away with a smirk of his own as the trio continued on to the film. Charlie put his feelings on the back burner to focus on the storyline and emotions of the scene.

“Spider-Man Three baby!” The English accent shouted from the phone with only an ocean separating the two actors. Tom hadn’t even greeted you before screaming at the news you both received; despite the scripts from a few weeks prior the sequel had fully been greenlighted

Your head tossed back at the childlike glee on the older adult, clearly displaying the two years really mean he was two years old. After meeting on the set of Civil War along with Harrison, you had become friends. Followed with the following MCU appearances, it had been a surprise to be cast in Devil All the Time.

“Insane.” You started making your way through the set to where Kenny had texted you from. It was closing to the end of your vacation.

In the few weeks, you had reconnected with Tori on her breaks along with becoming good friends with the cast members. Something clicked between you and the core four of the show even if Madison sometimes still got starstruck.

“Did you read the script?” Tom questioned quirking his infamous eyebrow his fans wholly adored. You found it amusing, to be honest, that every character he portrayed had the same eyebrow.

“Not fully. I’m surrounded by people, and unlike you, I prefer not to jeopardize my career with marvel.” You teased glancing up as Charlie and Owen made their way over, “I’ll be flying out in a few days for filming.”

Tom nodded his head, “I got get back. Jacob and Haz are visiting. Remember to film the announcement! Bye Love!”

You gave a thumbs up before Tom ended the facetime glancing up at the duo who each raised their eyebrows. Charlie’s mask nearly breaking at Tom’s goodbye. Charlie could feel the cover of his feelings falling more and more each day.

“Announcement?” Owen questioned, slipping his jacket on over his shoulders having changed from his Alex outfit.

“Nothing.” You waved it off, starting to walk backwards with a smile that Charlie thought made your eyes shine brighter than stars.

The boys followed behind on the walk to the house Jeremy and Carolynn had decided to rent during filming. You had been crashing there as Jeremy didn’t want Carolynn to be alone with his filming schedule. It also gave the perfect place for your plan. Last few nights you had binged the marvel movies again ending with Far From Home.

The living room was decked out by Carolynn with your help from earlier as she was the only know that knew. Everyone settled in the living room with Mr Reyes there as well who had quickly become a father figure to you.

“So, I wanted everyone here for a reason. I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been reading a script and I have something to open.” You started thanking Jeremy as he brought in the package, he had no clue of the contents, “Now nobody says any spoilers for season two.”

You turned on the camera Paul Becker had supplied with a small smile having already filmed the opening sequence. You sat on the floor in the camera shot, opening the big box to hand out the smaller boxes to your friends. Charlie, Owen, Jeremy, Madison, Savannah, Booboo and every else glanced at the non-descript red box.

“Open them.” You urged grinning as the room went silent except for the tape ripping off the packages.

In each individual box was marvel themed candy, a plushie of Spider-Man along with signed cards from the Avengers actors and the MCU Spider-Man cast. At the very bottom, all it said was to look up at you. Instead of facing them with their looks of shock, you addressed the camera.

“Tom and I are so incredibly happy to announce that Spider-Man 3 is in the beginning process of filming.” You beamed at the camera listening to the intense noise of your friends screaming, “we can’t reveal anything else about the film, but the script is immaculate as usual. You’ll get to see Harper on the screen once more.”

“WHAT!” The collective scream behind you came as you waited a second before ending the video. You’d have to replay it before sending to marvel for the finishing touches with Tom’s version and then you could post it on Instagram.

“Surprise!” You spoke to the group behind you all in states of excitement, “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to tell you guys! I got the script a few days before I came.”

“Holy shit.” Owen spoke, laughing at he shook his head, “You managed to get autographs from fucking Iron Man himself.”

“I got connections.” You snorted meeting the gaze of Charlie, “Nah, Downey’s kids came for a visit, and I kept them company. Downey offered to do anything, and I took the favour.”

The surprise wore off as the group mingled, but Charlie’s eyes stayed pinned to your form as you sent a message to Tom. Locking your phone to noticed his eyes.

“Hey Charlie.” You smiled, sitting on the couch next to him. His expressive eyes showing a silver screen of emotions you couldn’t quite decipher.

The corner of his mouth tilted up in response to the way his name rolled off your tongue, sending his heart stuttering. A cold sweat appearing when you grasped his hand in yours in a confident manner.

“So, you leave soon?” Charlie murmured moving closer to hear you among the chatter of the group. Your lips turned down for a split second as you felt the sadness of leaving.

It was refreshing to be on set without the demands of makeup, costumes, filming and choreography. To see the action and magic but not be part of it was a definite change you had needed desperately. But to leave Charlie hurt.

“My call time is in three days. Need to get ready to bring Harper Osbourne back to the big screen.” You replied, loosening your grip on his hand, “I don’t really want to go back. I’m gonna miss you…and everyone else of course.”

Unaware to the eyes watching in anticipation you and Charlie conversed further on the upcoming months. To the great disappointment of the house began to clear out, Owen for an early call time. Savannah was meeting with her brother, and Mr Reyes was taking Madison home.

It left Jeremy and Carolynn to retire to their bedroom while you stayed on the couch with Charlie for longer. The emotions building from the prior weeks, bubbling to the surface. Hearts thudding in their chest Charlie leaned in glancing at your lips; yours glancing at his.

Who moved first couldn’t be known, but as your lips brushed together just barely you felt grounded and peaceful. If he leaned closer, you wonder what the kiss would make you feel.

“I’d like to kiss you.” Charlie murmured startled at the confidence he had gained, “But before I do. Do you have something with Tom?”

“Other than onscreen chemistry? Absolutely nothing.” You spoke barely louder than a whisper to the boy that had become so much more than some actor.

He was Charlie. The goofy boy that put a smile on anyone’s face with an impromptu concert in the middle of a crowded street. He lived life to the fullest without any regrets. He was passionate about his work, music and the environment.

Those thoughts evaporated when lips met another pair of lips in what might be described as the best kiss ever. No fireworks felt as Wattpad would say, but instead, it was the heady warmth of hot chocolate on a cold day; a warm shower after a long stressful day. It was home and perfect.

Tag List (PLEASE SEND AN INBOX TO BE ADDED! I CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ON THE LIST VIA POST COMMENTS!)

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#charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie #jatp fanfic #luke patterson imagines #caitsy and ash productions

[spookyseason24-7]

American Horror Story

In my humble opinion, Ryan Murphy is a genius and the AHS franchise is *chef’s kiss.*

Ryan Murphy is known for a lot of different shows, such as Glee and Nip/Tuck, but for obvious purposes of this blog, we will be focusing on the gem that is American Horror Story.

Murphy is a creator, director, executive producer, and one of the writers for AHS. Now to be fair I haven’t loved every single season, but with 10 seasons of the show, there is bound to be a few that miss the mark.

My absolute favorite AHS season is season 3: Coven.

[Photo of Fiona Goode, (god BLESS Jessica Lange) as the bad bitch Supreme we all know and love from We Heart It.] 

Personally Coven is just the best of the best, but I am also a huge fan of 

Asylum (season 2),

Freak Show (season 4),

and finally Murder House (season 1).

I’m now going to list the rest of the seasons for posterity, the ones I liked the very least at the end.

Apocalypse [season 8]

1984 [season 9]

Roanoke [season 6]

Cult [season 7]

Hotel [season 9] (sorry Lady Gaga)

[Emma Roberts coming back from the dead after having her throat slit and her first words being “I need a cigarette” are what my literal dreams are made of. Photo from Celia on We Heart It.]

I recently watched ‘American Horror Stories’ and I was confused at first, given the first two episodes were a spin off of Murder House and many of the episodes feature the familiar cast.

The first two episodes in the anthology were the best, but the rest are worth watching simply because they offer a nice change of pace in terms of storylines. And because it is Ryan Murphy, you can count on every single episode having an incredible musical score and sublime acting.

This quote on the Wiki page for American Horror Stories sums up my overall opinion of the 7 episode series nicely:

[“Rotten Tomatoes] critics consensus reads, "American Horror Stories has its moments, but a lack of consistent narrative quality among installments and not enough scares make for an unsatisfying whole.”

OK NOW BACK TO WHY WE LOVE MURHPY AND AHS:

Even if some of the seasons were less than great, the title sequences alone are enough to draw viewers in. The eerie music and hints at what the plot will be about are an artform all on their own.

Season 10 of AHS involves the artist’s struggle for creativity, drugs, and vampires. I’m very much enjoying this new season and I’m not the only one.

According to Apeksha Bagchi on leftoye.com, “it is safe to say that Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk have once again done what they always do- present an awe-inspiring story that manages to chill us to the core.”

[Photo of a skull with wicked vampire teeth snagged from leftoye.com] 

I think the first episode of the newest season did a nice lil’ homage to The Shining with the bold red violin case (and other subtle red items) and the writer without a muse bringing his family to a desolate town in hopes of finding inspiration.

Buckle up for a solid season, I cannot wait to see where this one goes.

~Stay spooky babes. 

#american horror story #ryan murphy #ahs fandom #ahs coven #ahs double feature #spooky #vampire #coven #horror #horror freak

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

I don’t need you to love me, I love me

I’m gonna miss writing about Pearl.

As the loneliest Crystal Gem, a loyal servant who became a fierce ally, then a spurned lover, then a grieving survivor, Pearl’s story is about discovering who she can be on her own terms. Like Steven, she believes that her value comes from being valued, but unlike Steven, she was literally programmed this way and has an even harder time breaking loose, so she starts off at the toxic level of selfish selflessness that threatens to consume him, directed towards someone who’s been dead for years. She defines herself by her relationships, but struggles with all of them because she only understands a dynamic where one person is superior and the other is inferior; as such, her life is an endless evaluation of whether she’s worse or better than the people around her, thus whether she should be deferential or condescending. Her problem goes beyond not knowing how to develop loving relationships with equals: she doesn’t know how to love herself.

But she changes her mind.

“We need to talk about us.”

The first act of Change Your Mind (which lines up nicely with its first quarter) sets the stage with Blue and Yellow both converting to Steven’s cause, and while compelling, it’s appropriately intense. That intensity gets even higher as the episode continues, but this is still a big finale, so it’s about damn time for some fanservice.

After a quick “go to your rooms” to reinforce that White Diamond is the Diamonds’ mother more than their older sister, Connie gets the body part pun train rolling: “face-off” will soon be followed by “did you have a hand in this?” and “lend me a hand” (which earns a chuckle from Blue), Pink’s legs succumb when Steven takes a knee, and getting into White’s head becomes the primary goal of the second act (so all of this second quarter and most of the third). Still, the levity seems fleeting before two glints in the sky bring us the one-two punch of Bismuth leading the charge and Lapis and Peridot showing off their threads.

Bismuth fits right in as the leader of the B-Team, as beyond her seniority she’s clearly more competent at running a show than the other two (see: The New Crystal Gems). But her reverse electric guitar soon cedes to a glorious harmony of Lapis and Peridot’s themes as we see their new forms: Lapis gets pants and sandals, and Peridot gets ridiculous shades and a trashcan lid, the perfect adaptation of Static’s saucer for the Crystal Gems’ resident raccoon. Peridot goes ham with three stars, while Lapis wears a subtle dark blue variant that includes all five points if we count her legs. For a moment, everything is right in the world.

Their timing couldn’t be better, and not just because we need some stress relief. Steven begins the finale with one friend on his side, then he gets two Diamonds on his side, and now he has three reinforcements on his side, and this growing group of allies all represent what the Big Three Crystal Gems can’t: the family that Steven has chosen, rather than the family he grew up with. These relationships are all a result of his effort, whether going out of his way to befriend Connie or winning over the five former enemies that now stand at his side, and together they‘re one huge reminder that you can reach people if they’re willing to be reached. White Diamond isn’t a villain because she’s cruel, she’s a villain because she quashes any effort to change her mind.

Furthermore, seeing Lapis and Peridot  in particular next to a pale, prejudiced, recently-discovered member of Steven’s extended family who disagrees with a parent’s name change evokes that other long episode where Steven went out on a limb to change someone’s mind, and the comparison does wonders for putting White Diamond’s bigotry in perspective.

I’ve already made my defense of Andy, but in short, his irritable first impression masks how open-minded he ends up being. Sure, he has some lousy beliefs, but he’s willing to sit down with folks he disagrees with and try and look for ways to either compromise or straight-up be convinced that those beliefs might be wrong. On its own, Gem Harvest could be read as a little too hopeful, especially as it came out weeks after the 2016 election gave proud bigots the White House, but next to Change Your Mind it expands on the finale’s message: keep an open heart and mind, because people can surprise you if you give them a chance, but don’t let yourself be a doormat in the process.

White Diamond would never have come to the Crystal Gems’ table. She still hasn’t even shown up in person since Legs From Here to Homeworld, using a warped version of the same delegation Steven practices in his talks with the Diamonds: he helps others bring their individual experiences to light, showing that his position isn’t unique, while she blots out their individuality and replaces them with her. Blue and Yellow’s contrast has been a plot point for far longer, but Pink and White (and now Steven and White) are an even starker pair of foils, divided not only by personality but by size and age.

Knowing how hard it will be to reach White, Yellow and Blue again suggest that Steven and the Crystal Gems bail, offering their own ships now that Pink’s is unavailable. While this shows how profoundly they believe in him, it again reveals how unfamiliar these two are with being “good.” Beyond the plan only delaying the inevitable (White Diamond for sure could send more troops to Earth in this scenario), Steven points out that his mother failed in both of her identities to confront the problem in a healthy way, and continuing to avoid it will mean it never gets solved. Rose is still a progression from Pink and Yellow and Blue, as fighting for your beliefs addresses the issue more directly than running away, but Steven in turn is a progression from Rose.

Then Connie’s opening words in Blue and Yellow’s conversions pay off. This time she’s the one ending the conversation, and she’s gained enough of their attention that they don’t write her off as a blathering human. Steven never got to meet Rose, rank-and-file Gems don’t have parents, and White Diamond seems to be the root of it all, so Connie is the ideal voice to reach the Diamond Sisters: she’s the only other person on the planet with a living mother. Where Dr. Maheswaran at her worst once stood in for Yellow Diamond, she can now represent the bigger fish, both in her similar brand of maternal tyranny and in the hope that her attitude can change after a good talk.

And just as Connie takes over Steven’s role as the big finisher for Blue and Yellow, Steven takes over Connie’s role as the voice introducing bigger voices now that it’s time to face White. He works with his aunts to bring his grandmother to a standstill—not by beating her statue-like ship into submission, but by joining the arm-ships to the body and completing the picture—and says his piece briefly before ceding the floor to a pair that White has victimized for far longer than the past week or so.

I love that Yellow is the first to speak, flipping the Diamonds’ conversion order and subverting the notion that the more emotionally open Blue might take the lead. This isn’t just a matter of clarity, but bravery, and Yellow has always been the more confrontational of the pair. It’s also that much more impactful to see Yellow push past her fear and allow herself to be vulnerable, given how hard she’s worked to maintain her air of stoicism. Patti LuPone’s raw power has served the character well, and she keeps up the same petulant energy that saw Yellow dishing about White in Familiar, but now she funnels all of it into a stirring argument against the exacting nature of Homeworld society. And because Yellow helps pave the way, Blue can deepen their point by defending Pink’s role in the quartet and detailing how White’s orders have caused the whole family to suffer.

Steven bookends the Diamonds by suggesting that White can start helping everyone by helping her daughters. Then White shows what kind of “help” she’s willing to provide.

Pink’s former pearl was already proof that White Diamond has the power to possess others, but it’s another thing to see it in action. The whole episode so far has been about building up hope again after Steven is knocked down by Homeworld, but all it takes is one agonizing glare to send everything backwards. Blue and Yellow are even worse off than they were before, and as they’re brought into White’s fold, their arms follow suit. White drops the Crystal Gems and lets them fall, then Steven drops the Crystal Gems and dives after them.

As he slides down alien architecture on his shield, the soundtrack gives a nod to the theme song to prepare us for more fanservice. Now that White has made it clear that talking isn’t going to get us anywhere, it’s time for more action. Now that we’ve established the importance of Steven’s chosen family, it’s time to reconnect with the family he was born into.

Amethyst is first, because of course she is. She’s usually the quickest to reform, and she’s the only Gem that Steven has fused with, so Smoky Quartz is the best start if the goal is reeling off three fusions in a row with a growing sense of excitement. Smoky’s theme heralds this new development with glee, evoking the pure joy of seeing a new fusion from Earthlings as it becomes clear what the show is doing. Fusion has recently featured as a stand-in for marriage and an act of rebellion, but now it represents familial love, and doubles as an elegant plot device to get the poofed crew back in action. The wonder of fusion has always been that beyond whatever metaphor it currently serves, it’s also just a really neat piece of magic that lends itself to awesome visuals, and this whole sequence revels in the glorious spectacle.

Pearl is second, because we’ve already seen another version of Rainbow Quartz, so the biggest reveal is bound to be the Garnet fusion. Rainbow Quartz 2.0 blends the old with the new, immediately showing off the latest clever fusion of weapons (a shield and a spear into a parasol) and introducing a blue jacket that will soon belong to Pearl. The drumkit/chiptune mashup of Smoky’s theme is replaced by a piano/chiptune mashup, and then this new fusion opens their mouth.

Of all of Steven’s fusions with a female or female-presenting partner, this is the one with a male voice actor, and it couldn’t be more perfect. Rainbow Quartz was the only one of Rose’s fusions that we saw, and Now We’re Only Falling Apart shows that she was the second-ever cross-Gem fusion after Garnet (that we know of), so she was clearly something special. Pearl’s romantic interest in Rose complicates matters further, as Rainbow Quartz is an embodiment of a deeply imperfect relationship. This is a character with a lot of baggage, but casting Alastair James puts a hard stop to the idea that this is the same Rainbow Quartz, even before we hear them refer to themself as “2.0.” After the literal nightmare that begins Change Your Mind and the figurative nightmare to come, it’s wonderful to have one more piece of evidence that Steven and Rose are different people.

Amethyst and Pearl, like Lapis and Peridot, get great new looks, and they’ll soon be followed by Garnet (after the commercial break). If this was just for the sake of fanservice, it’d be more than enough: it’s always fun to get outfit changes, and between that and the fusions (including Sunstone and Obsidian; again, after the commercial break!) we get a pleasant treat to sate us between the drama. But as always, the show finds a way to create deeper meaning in the magic.

The Diamonds look the same now as they did thousands of years ago, and one of the reasons why is that they’re unbreakable. Creating a new form requires poofing, which is a very silly way to say that the Crystal Gems have found a way to grow through pain.

Life will always have its share of pain. Part of growing up, maybe the biggest part, is figuring out what you’re going to do about it. The Diamonds react to pain by closing themselves off and letting their problems fester rather than addressing them head-on. But over the course of the series, Lapis and Peridot and Amethyst and Pearl and Garnet have put in the work to learn from their pain and heal, and because they’re literal projections of their true selves, they get a physical manifestation of that growth that can only come after weathering one more blow.

To be clear, pain itself shouldn’t be glamorized. It sucks, and it’s okay if your reaction is to take care of yourself rather than use it for Creative Fuel. But the Crystal Gems are what happens when you deal with your pain, and the Diamonds are what happens when you don’t. And because Steven shares the legacy of both, Steven Universe is about him helping others through their pain and Steven Universe Future is about finally confronting his own.

We end with the most frustrating commercial break of the three, coming right in the middle of the second act, so we’ll just keep on going with fusions and new outfits next time. But if we have to stop partway through a scene, at least we get a Monty Python Foot to stamp out the first half of Change Your Mind.

I Can’t Believe We’ve Come So Far

Hilary Florido is the only storyboarder with their own recurring segment in Steven, Universally. But every other storyboarder had plenty of opportunities to make a fully realized High School AU in their promo art, and none of them did, so that’s on them.

Florido is obviously more than her promo art, but it speaks to a specific level of nerdy passion that made her and longtime coboarder Jesse Zuke so dang good at Peridot episodes, starting with just their second collaboration, the iconic Catch and Release. From there they gave us Too Far and Log Date 7 15 2 and Barn Mates and Too Short to Ride and Beta and Gem Harvest, and Florido kept the ride going with Raising the Barn. Peridot would not be Peridot without Hilary Florido.

In terms of more serious clods, Florido is the only person to board all three Kevin appearances (Alone Together with Rebecca Sugar and first regular coboarder Katie Mitroff, Beach City Drift with Zuke, and Kevin Party with final regular coboarder Danny Cragg, who also stopped boarding after the movie). She gave us as Ronaldo at his worst in Rocknaldo and Aquamarine at her worst in I Am My Mom. And as if she needed further proof of her prowess with harrowing material, she gave us Alone at Sea and A Single Pale Rose.

It’s weird to attribute good Steven writing to any one boarder, given he’s in every episode but Jungle Moon and he’s generally pretty great, but Florido worked on some of the most important moments of Steven letting us into his deeper thoughts: she’s behind him getting real with the Cool Kids in Joy Ride, with Amethyst in Steven vs. Amethyst, and with himself in a rare monologue in Lion 4. His ability to discuss the uncomfortable subtext of Mystery Girl’s visual similarity to Rose is key to the magnificent tone of Last One Out of Beach City, and his introspection about his mother’s older identity is just as important to Familiar.

In short, Hilary Florido rocked at characters with rough edges, whether it was Peridot’s ornery id, a bevy of outright villains ruining everyone’s day, normally sympathetic characters doing dubious things, or Steven giving himself enough of a break to complain. She stepped up as a storyboard supervisor for Steven Universe Future, but even if she hadn’t, her legacy would be secure.

(Frankly it’d be secure even if the only thing she gave us was this.)

#change your mind #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

[belleandkurtbastian]

here’s a completely random question: what’s your fav song and your least fav song from each of the o.g. glee club members

Now, when you say "OG", do you mean "original 5", "original 6" or "original 12"?

Rachel Barbra Berry

Okay, I like when Rachel goes OTT but in an ACTING way, rather than her "I'm just too emotional, I have to let it build inside me" way... So to that end, I like songs like "Hello Twelve"; "Run Joey Run"; "Ding-Dong"; "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"; "Kiki/TLT"...

I'm picking "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love" as my favourite. This is a song that LITERALLY ELEVEN YEARS LATER, I am STILL pissed off that they cut. This song ESTABLISHES St Berry so well, and I didn't *GET* it until I saw it.

Least favourite? There's a song that comes to mind but I want to save it in case you send a second ask in this vain (hint hint).. So I think "Roots Before Branches". I told you, I really don't like Rachel over-emotionally singing, and this song really plays into that with the vocals AND I just don't like the song. I think this was, bar none, the WORST final number of a season.

Kurt Elizabeth Hummel

I find Kurt REALLY hard to pick for... I think Kurt is one of the characters that I have the BROADEST opinion of in terms of music. I can't pinpoint exactly what I do and don't like in his numbers, beyond "I hate when they force him to go WAY too high and it throws off the balance of the song". And I like when they let him PLAY with a song, rather than singing it straight.

So, candidates include: "Defying Gravity"; "Rose's Turn"; "4 Minutes"; "Bad Romance"; "Pure Imagination"; "NTBND"; "Being Alive"; "Kiki/TLT"...

Yeah, okay, I did actually know which song I was going to pick from the start. I have no choice.

It's "Not the Boy Next Door".

Now, least favourite? This is TOUGH. "Animal" bugs me because of the sheer AMOUNT of processing on that song. "Candles" has the "making Kurt go too high and throwing off the balance" issue.

Yeah, I think "Animal". I don't like Candles, but I REALLY hate Animal.

Mercedes Jones

Let's speed this up a little... Candidates include "4 Minutes"; "The Boy is Mine"; "Beautiful"; "And I am Telling You"; "River Deep"; "Dog Days Are Over"; "Human Nature"; "I'll Stand By You"...

Oof, this IS tough... I think it's "Beautiful"... Yeah, that's the number that comes to mind the most often when I think of Mercedes.

Least Favourite? "I Look To You"? I dunno, I think episode context is why for that one. She doesn't REALLY have a dud number that I can think of.

Tina Cohen-Chang

Hoo boy. First of all... Girl, you were SHAFTED by the producers. Only Original 6 member to have under 100 songs. Only one solo in S1.

Anyway, I like "True Colors"; "I Follow Rivers"; "Dog Days"; "Hung Up"; "3"; "I Kissed a Girl"...

I am fully aware I just named more than half of her solos and duets...

I think it's "True Colors"... or "I Kissed a Girl"... Let's go for True Colors

As for least favourite... is "My Funny Valentine" too obvious a pick? Because it's "My Funny Valentine". (Yes, I like "Gangnam Style". It's awful, but I like it.)

Arthur Abrams

Candidates: "Dancing With Myself"; "Safety Dance"; "Dream a Little Dream"; "Never Going Back Again"... Huh, I think that's all of the ones that stand out to me.

So, yes. I think it's "Dancing With Myself". That's two in a row where I've picked the OG solo...

Least favourite? No contest. "Boys/Boyfriend"... though "Scream" and "Feliz Navidad" get special mentions because I *HATE* "Artie walks!" dream sequences.

Finn Christopher Hudson

I already know my favourite Finn song. I have said it MULTIPLE times, and I stand by it.

My favourite Finn song is, no contest, "Paradise By the Dashboard Light". In fact, I think it's not only Finn's best song, but the best New Directions competition performance.

Now, least favourite? "Girls Just Want To Have Fun".

Wow, Finn was easy.

Lucy Quinn Fabray

Ah, Quinnie...

Candidates: "Papa Don't Preach"; "It's a Man's World"; "Lucky"; "Time of My Life"; "Pretty/Unpretty"; "I Don't Want to Know" (yes, I just listed ALL FOUR of her S2 leads...)... And then that's it??!? Wow, she got shafted after S2, huh?!

Yeah, I think it's "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty". What a surprise. A Faberry song.

As for least favourite? "Up Up Up", I think.

Santana Diabla Lopez

... This is tough. "Science Fiction, Double Feature"; "Valerie"; "Songbird"; "Back to Black"; "River Deep"; "Smooth Criminal"; "Girl on Fire"; "If I Die Young"; "Here Comes the Sun"; "Brave"; "Hand in My Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move"...

I *THINK* I have to go for "Songbird", actually...

Now, least favourite? Does Santana have a dud number? At least, one that's her fault? Okay, I don't like "Take My Breath Away".

Brittany Susan Pierce

There are precisely TWO Brittany songs I will listen to on their own. Those are "My Cup" and "Hand In my Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move".

So yes, it's HIMP/IFTEM.

As for least favourite... "Something Stupid". NOT because it's a Bram song. I actually don't have an issue with Bram, per se... But I just feel like it's bland and doesn't add anything to the show, and doesn't really stand on its own.

Noah Puckerman

"Lady Is a Tramp"; "Mean"; "Glory Days"; "No Surrender"...

I think it's "Lady is a Tramp".

As for least favourite... "I Wanna Sex You Up"... is an Acafellas number cheating? If not, then... No, it has to be "I Wanna Sex You Up", sorry.

Michael Robert Chang, Jr.

This was mean of me to include... "ABC" is my favourite, I guess? And... yeah, "Scream" has to be my least favourite.

Matt Rutherford

My favourite AND least favourite Matt Rutherford song is [THIS SPACE LEFT INTENTIONALLY BLANK]

Jesse St. James

There's no point doing the original 12 and ignoring my boy.

Favourite: "Bohemian Rhapsody"...

Least favourite: "Like a Virgin", I guess... He doesn't ACTUALLY have a dud number.

#long post #.ask #tthankstoyou #HOO BOY I hope there aren't controversial opinions in here

[destielshippingnews]

Edvard's Supernatural Guide: 1x02 Wendigo

Episode 1x02 Wendigo is far from being a fan favourite, and it’s not remembered especially fondly. However, I think it’s also far from being the worst The Show has to offer, and does a competent enough job of setting the tone and formula. It’s also vaguely reminiscent of The X-Files 1x05 The Jersey Devil, as well as Supernatural’s 303rd episode 14x16 Don’t Go into the Woods. While the latter of those was a bad choice so late in the show’s run AND essentially copied the wendigo episode, the kohonta was creepier in the episode, whistling and blending into the trees. That’s a discussion for much later (assuming I’m still alive when it’s time to talk about that episode), so back to 1x02 Wendigo which is a disappointing second outing for the boys.

The soundscape of the episode, however, is occasionally impressively cinematic, enhanced muchly with headphones. The lack of music during the cold open emphasised the wendigo’s bestial grumbling and growling, allowing the viewer to focus on that as opposed to a musical score. The music during the scene with the survivor from 1959on the other hand had effective scoring, evoking the tense, chilling atmosphere of horror films. One of the distinctive traits of Supernatural’s early years is its horror show atmosphere, something sadly lost somewhere around the beginning of series 3.

On the subject of horror films, the opening of this episode – and the plot in general - does, unfortunately, rely on the stupidity of young people to get the plot started. The ranger reveals to Dean and Sam that there are grizzly bears in the area, but the boys appear to have taken no precautionary measures whatsoever to keep themselves safe from bear attacks. I can brush aside the fact that grizzly bears don’t live in Colorado (Thanks to Annabelle @EscapingPurgatory podcast for bringing that to my attention) by the fact that Supernatural does not take place in our universe, so Alternate Universe Colorado can have grizzlies, but I have difficulty believing the boys would so blithely let their guards down in grizzly territory. They are asking to be grizzlied to death, and it makes the premise of the episode a little harder to believe, very much like a teen horror film reliant on teen stupidity.

By the way, the second guy to get snatched – and the one we hear the wendigo eating – is the late Cory Monteith whom people might know better as Finn in Glee.

The introduction of the wendigo establishes it as fast, dangerous, and very likely intelligent. It stalks the boys in the tent, picking them off one by one, and as the boy we’re supposed to care about (because he’s calling his sister) is hiding from it in the tent, the wendigo seems to be playing with him.

Following on from this effective yet deeply-flawed opening comes a dream sequence of Sam visiting Jess’s grave. This showed a small part of Sam’s grief, but it is about the most we ever really get to see of his bereavement. We’re TOLD Jess’s death effected him, but we’re never shown much at all. This is about as skilled a way to tell a story as dumping 20+ years of exposition on the viewer in the first ten minutes of a television show, and we all know Supernatural’s guilty of THAT sin. I understand the graveyard scene was supposed to be sad and moving, but as the viewer does not know anything about Jess or her relationship with Sam, it comes across as a weak attempt to make us care about her and him, but it does not work well. She does not like roses, and her full name is Jessica Lee Moore. This is the ONLY time her complete name is given, and most people will miss it. I only noticed it because the Finnish subtitles I was watching it with translated the gravestone for me – a very dull gravestone, might I add. Some candles and a crucifix, but nothing remotely resembling a worthy epitaph. Just ‛beloved daughter’. Did you even WANT us to care about her, Kripke?

On the other hand, it might be for the best the viewer does not know much about Jess. Given Sam’s awful taste in women, she would likely have just been another Amelia or Ruby.

The scene ends with a jump scare because of course it does, whereupon Sam wakes up in the Impala. The show is very much Sam’s perspective on things, as it will be for most of the next two score and ten episodes. Maybe I’m ageing out of Supernatural intended audience, but I find Sam’s POV hard to care about: I get he’s bereaved, but how much is it possible for me to care as a viewer when I know nothing about Jess and have to watch Sam essentially acting like a mildly disgruntled teenager about her death?

Dean, however, has evidently been privy to things the viewer has not, and shows genuine concern for Sam, even allowing him to drive the Impala. How people manage to conclude he doesn’t understand emotions is beyond me because he shows a lot of empathy.

As it happens, the co-ordinates in John’s diary from episode 1x01 lead the boys to Black Rocks, Colorado, where the boys from the cold open got grizzlied. I have to assume the IDs the boys make are highly convincing, because the amount of people they fool is too high for all of them to be stupid and gullible. That said, could the show not have knocked up some convincing forest ranger attire for the boys to wear? Without it, the brothers end up looking a bit incompetent at a job they’ve been doing for twenty years.

Sam’s reluctance to interview Hayley etc shows his disinterest in this case, desiring as he does to find Jess’s killer. Understandable as this is, neither he nor Dean have the foggiest who or what was responsible for Jess’s death. Finding John is the best hope they have of learning anything regarding Jess’s killer, something Sam should be very cognisant of considering Mary and Jess died in the same way. If Kripke wanted to show Sam not caring at all about anything, he didn’t do a great job here, since Sam comes across as a whiny child rather than an apathetic, anhedonistic widower. ‛Now we have to babysit, too?’ I understand he’s grieving, but he still acts like an immature arse-biscuit and has absolutely no control over himself.

Dean is the only person Sam has who could possibly give him any support, but instead of showing gratitude, he’s already treating Dean as if he’s an irritation.

While I’m talking about people acting like idiots, Haley rags on Dean’s hiking gear, but she sees fit to go hiking in incredibly short shorts. Do they not have nettles, burrs or ants in North America? Dean could go striding through a patch of nettles in those clothes completely unperturbed. Haley, however… I concede she’s right to be suspicious of the brothers for claiming to be rangers while not looking or acting the part, but they look more suited to their environment than she does.

She also sees the ruined tent covered in blood splatters and decides it’s a great idea to shout at the top of her lungs. Pillock.

For the longest time, I could never remember the hunter’s name, so I remember him as Leoben after the character the actor played in Battlestar Galactica. For Supernatural virgins, he appears as an experienced if short-tempered hunter whose hubris gets him ganked by the wendigo. It’s not an especially interesting or original role (this is Supernatural, after all), and did not do much other than point out that the brothers were not forest rangers and sneer at the idea of a protective circle.

For those in the know, however, he is a wasted opportunity: this could have been the perfect chance to introduce the hunters into the narrative, hunters who could have helped – or at least tried to help – the boys finding John. After all, John knew a lot of hunters but the boys are out here doing it all alone. Where’s Bobby, for example, or Ellen, Ash and Jo? I realise they hadn’t been invented yet, but still.

Why he is needed in the episode, I don’t know (other than to be horror-fodder) and his forehead might as well have been branded with ‛wendigo chum’ from the get-go (and not just because he’s a male one-shot character). The audience knows the supernatural exists, so his sneers do nothing for the audience other than show us we’re not supposed to care about him getting killed, just like we weren’t supposed to care about Token!black man or Cory Monteith in the cold open. A big drawback of the MOTW (monster of the week) format is the constant introduction and deaths of side characters we don’t care about, and Leoben is just another example of this.

Other than that, there’s little I can find to say about this week’s side characters as individuals. As symbols, the family of orphans trying to find their missing brother is a reflection of Dean and Sam searching for John, with their reunion at the end and Dean watching them leave suggesting hope finding John.

However, it’s possible Dean believes John is dead, as Amy and Annabelle at @escapingpurgatorypodcast discussed in their review of this episode. Whilst talking to Sam at the campfire, Dean talks about John having left them a legacy which it was their responsibility to carry. One does not generally speak that way about a person one believes is still alive, a perspective I otherwise would have missed completely.

I will attempt not to rehash much of what I hear and read in other people’s reviews and rewatches because that would be plagiarism and a waste of my time, but since not everybody is going to read, watch or listen to all the sources I do, I will occasionally reference their work. Something else raised in the same podcast is the discussion of Sam’s anger in this episode, and Dean’s exhortation that Sam let go of his anger because it will eat him up (not verbatim). So early in the show the two characters are not as distinct as they become later, and later on it is Dean who is show to have the anger issues (justifiably so, given the repeated betrayals and deception, and I’m mostly on his side in events at the end of s14 and the beginning of s15).

That he’s so aware of what anger does to a person is revealing. Having grown up watching John be consumed by anger and grief, and almost definitely dealing with his own anger and trauma this early in the show, Dean clearly knows how unhealthy holding on to negative emotions is. It’s an unusual opinion for people to have that Dean is very intelligent and very cognisant of his own emotions and feelings, but that’s how I understand him, and it’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

On the subject of emotions, I have to admit a little sympathy for Sam here. He’s incredibly young to have lost somebody, and bereavement is hell at any age. I can understand his anger, and his frustration that he has to ‛babysit’, even if his inability to express or control anything properly irks me. Grief doesn’t have to be clean or comfortable for people in one’s vicinity. That’s not to say everything is justified, but his possibly-pregnant girlfriend and possibly-child just died, so the guy needs a moment. It’s just not a great viewing experience.

I expect it would be easier to sympathise with Sam had the episode begun a few hours after Jess’s death and the viewer had gone through some of the grief with him. Buffy 5x17 The Body has its flaws, but it is lauded not least for its depiction of bereavement and grief right after a sudden unexpected death. I, at least, empathise strongly with Buffy during series 6 when she is suffering with depression, self-destructive tendencies and several kinds of grief, and the raw depiction of the loss of one of the most important people in her life helped me at least step into her shoes. Had the show done something similar for Sam, I would be singing a rather different song at the moment. But as it is, Sam is supposed to be the angst-ridden, self-centred character the intended very young audience empathises with, compared with Dean (and Buffy) who are far more mature and other-centred (funnily enough, Buffy was the same age as Sam in series 6), making them easier to like and relate to.

Finally, as this isn’t an episode I found all too much to dissect, I’ll get on to the final talking point: the wendigo. My first thought is that I’m glad Supernatural included Native American mythological creatures right at the beginning. I’ll have more to say later on Native Americans and Supernatural, lamenting their absence but also understanding that a show about two white-skinned men would run into difficulties with representation and accusations of appropriation when delving into Native lore (although Native Americans can be white-skinned, too). For now, however, it’s a welcome inclusion, though the execution is a bit weird.

For one thing, the wendigo is from Algonquin lore, originating in the area of the Great Lakes and eastern Canada. Dean was right to state that wendigo live in Minnesota and North Michigan (somehow leaving out Wisconsin between those two states) because that’s the general Ojibwe area. So what are they doing in Colorado, roughly 1000 miles away? That’s like a Sámi stallu appearing in Amsterdam or something. Of course monsters can travel, but why not just set the episode in Minnesota? They could have even gone to an Ojibwe reservation and included Native Americans as more than simply a bit of decoration.

Apropos Native Americans, the Anasazi symbols Dean draws to ward off the wendigo is from a completely different lore and mythology to the Ojibwe wendigo. Ojibwe is Algonquin, and Anasazi is from a different language family called Athapaskan, relatively closely related to Navajo, Dakota and Apache. Think of them a roughly similar to Indo-European and Uralic: It’s similar to using Celtic iconography to ward off a Finnish demon. There is, of course, nothing saying that the symbol wouldn’t work against a wendigo, but it’s an odd choice. I can chalk this up to more lazy research and the show generally not caring about any mythology that’s not Judeo-Christian, but I can also justify it by believing that it isn’t simply the symbols themselves that are effective, but the intent and belief of the caster also plays a huge role. This is simply my own head-canon, but it at least makes Dean’s actions make more sense.

The wendigo is also described in lore as being cold, preceded by an unseasonal chill and having a heart of ice. None of this is present is the show, a fact that is to its detriment. I expect budget limitations were a factor, but how much creepier and atmospheric would the episode have been if trees had dropped their leaves in the middle of summer, or if the mine were freezing, keeping the bodies from rotting? The wendigo at least looked right:

The Wendigo was gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tightly over its bones. With its bones pushing out against its skin, its complexion the ash-gray of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into their sockets, the Wendigo looked like a gaunt skeleton recently disinterred from the grave. What lips it had were tattered and bloody ... Unclean and suffering from suppuration of the flesh, the Wendigo gave off a strange and eerie odor of decay and decomposition, of death and corruption.

(Johnston, Basil (2001) [1995]. The Manitous. St. Paul: Minnesota Historical Society Press.)

In spite of my saying the cold nature of the wendigo wa absent, shooting it in the heart with a flare gun hearkens to its heart of ice (something Charmed also did, now that I think of it). The wendigo’s intelligence and ability to mimic human voices also has precedent in legend, as below:

One time long ago a big Windigo stole an Indian boy, but the boy was too thin, so the Windigo didn't eat him up right away, but he travelled with the Indian boy waiting for him till he'd get fat. The Windigo had a knife and he'd cut the boy on the hand to see if he was fat enough to eat, but the boy didn't get fat. They traveled too much. One day they came to an Indian village and the Windigo sent the boy to the Indian village to get some things for him to eat. He just gave the boy so much time to go there and back. The boy told the Indians that the Windigo was near them, and showed them his hand where the Windigo cut him to see if he was fat enough to eat. They heard the Windigo calling the boy. He said to the boy "Hurry up. Don't tell lies to those Indians." All of these Indians went to where the Windigo was and cut off his legs. They went back again to see if he was dead. He wasn't dead. He was eating the juice (marrow) from the inside of the bones of his legs that were cut off. The Indians asked the Windigo if there was any fat on them. He said, "You bet there is, I have eaten lots of Indians, no wonder they are fat." The Indians then killed him and cut him to pieces. The end of this Giant Windigo

As things stand, the wendigo was okay, but lacked some little details that could have made it much more memorable. As for the episode, it was not terrible, but neither was it a brilliant successor to 1x01. It had some nice character moments, but did not build much on what came before. It was mostly a filler episode, a bad choice so early in the series, and I’m glad to leave it behind for the Dean-centric 1x03 Dead in the Water.

#Dean Winchester #spn rewatch #SPN 1x02 #wendigo #Sam Winchester #Native American lore #Supernatural #spn meta #edvard's supernatural guide #edvard's supernatural rewatch

[santiagonex]

As 2020 is nearing, it’s time to see what 2019 has brought us when it comes to gay representation in tv shows and movies. Below ‘read more’, there’s a whole list of tv shows/ships/movies (with pictures and basic description) which include/are about gay (used as an umbrella term) men and couples (so basically have gay storylines and at least one gay person is a main character of the show/movie).

Since I’m a gay man, I keep up mostly with mlm, if I included wlw as well, I don’t think the list would be complete with my lack of knowledge, so sorry about that. I’m pretty sure there are more competent people who can do that instead of me.

Total Count of TV Shows in the list: 65 Total Count of Movies in the list: 27

 Anyways, here we go.

TV SHOWS

TV SHOWS WITH TITULAR/CENTRAL GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

The Other Two: the funniest most-relatable show centered around three siblings – one of them is gay (left). A must-watch for sure. He’s pretty much the hugest part of the show, there are some love storyline (...and they were roomates), some self-loving moments and iconic lines. Just watch it, you won’t regret it.

Sex Education: show about two best friends, one of them (right) is gay. His name is Eric and he gets involved with his enemy Adam (left). Amazing show.

Special: show about a gay man Ryan (right) with mild cerebral palsy, who wants to live his life as an independent person to the fullest. Easy and short show to watch.

Druck (German SKAM Remake): if you don’t know SKAM, it’s pretty much a show where each season is devoted to one character. Third season of German SKAM aired this year and it was revolved around a gay guy (left). For the first time in SKAM history, the main character’s love interest is a trans guy (right).

Skam France (French SKAM Remake): the French version of SKAM had a gay season this year as well. 

WTFock (Belgian SKAM Remake): Belgium has a season focused on the main gay character this year as well.

El corazón nunca se equivoca: I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of Aristemo from ‘Mi marido tiene más familia’. Well, they’d already aired the first season of the new spin-off centered around their lives in college (I think).

Merlí: Sapere Aude: Bruno (left) and Pol (right) fans, it’s time to make some noise. Brunol is coming back because Pol is getting a spin-off which will be taking place in university. Bruno will be in it as well. First episode airs on 5th of December this year.

Pose: second season of Ryan Murphy’s popular show with main transgender and gay characters has aired this year.

The Politician: another show from Ryan Murphy was created. The main protagonist of the show (right) is played by Ben Platt and he’s gay. The show contains many LGBT+ main characters.

Tales of the City: the revival of the Tales of the City sequence of miniseries aired this year. The show includes many LGBT+ storylines.

The L Word: Generation Q: the revival of The L Word show will air on 8th of December this year. The show is mainly about lesbians, but based on trailer, there will be a gay couple included as well.

Years and Years: very futuristic show with a political message. Includes both mlm and wlw as main characters.

The Red Line: the plot of this show involves a white cop in Chicago who mistakenly shoots and kills a black doctor named Harrison. Harrison had a husband (left) and daughter (right). The show deals with the consequences of the event.

Now Apocalypse: all I’m gonna say is that Beck from Victorious got to make out with Scott from Teen Wolf, Matty from Awkward and Jake from Glee. The show was renewed for second season and later this statement was taken back and it got cancelled – which I guess says enough about the show.

This Close: the show is about two best friends who are deaf. One of them (left) is gay and has a storyline and spicy scenes with the guy on the right and some other guys as well. 

Schitt’s Creek: David (right) and Patrick (left) aka the cutest softest couple of all time. The last season of the show will air next air. Watch the show if you wanna laugh and watch the healthiest gay couple on tv. They also got engaged this year, which was beautiful.

NEW TV SHOWS (1 SEASON) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

Daybreak: both main characters and basically on different sides of the battles. Who wouldn’t want to watch enemies being in love Romeo & Juliet style.

El Juego de las Llaves (The Game of Keys): very interesting and fun show to follow, the one on the right is the main character. He’s closeted, has a girlfriend and gradually realizes there’s something else out there. Nice kissing scenes, plus one very spicy scene. Doesn’t hurt that the guy on the left he will be involved with looks like a dollar store Chris Evans if you squint hard enough.

Five Bedrooms: 5 strangers moves in. The guy in the middle is gay. His mom is a very traditional Indian woman who just wants grandchildren. The whole show is heart-warming and sad at times. The guy gets fair share of screentime and some love interests including a cop from the neighbourhood.

Made In Heaven: Indian show that follows the lives of Tara and Karan (left), two wedding planners in Delhi running an agency named Made in Heaven. Karan is gay. Very progressive show with spicy gay scenes.

What/If: haven’t seen the show yet but friends said these two have a nice storyline in the show. Threesome included.

Bonding: show about two best friends Pete (left) and Tiff (right). Pete is gay. They basically... do freaky shit for work... umm. Just watch trailer or something.

Osmosis: I have no idea what the show is about but the guy on the left is set to betrying to find a soulmate or something. I think I remember seeing some spicy scenes.

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists: basically some gay romance with the guy on the right and someone else. The one on the left dies the first episode so I did not even bother after that. But you can be the judge of it.

Doom Patrol: Larry (left) is a superhero, kinda. There’s something haunting his past, though. Something that involves being gay.

The Umbrella Academy: Klaus (left) my favorite character. He’s kind of a hero along with his other siblings. There’s a deep gay storyling along the way.

Weird City: anyways... all I’m gonna say is that Dylan O’Brien played a gay for one episode in a show. Wish there wasn’t this huge ugly age difference.

Roswell, New Mexico: cowboys, aliens, bisexuality, homosexuality and all that. Didn’t really see the show but there’s a lot of content with these two.

Good Trouble: never saw the sow but the guy on the picture is a main bisexual characters. There are some mlm scenes.

The Society: Grizz (right) and Sam (left) literally the highlight of the show. Just watch it, it is worth to see it for both of them. Sam is also deaf. The show is basically about a bunch of teenagers getting stuck in a town with no one else in or around.

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The High School Musical tv show has just started airing on Disney+. Carlos (left) is confirmed to be gay and to be getting a nice development this season which will probably involve Seb (right) as well.

The Heights: Australian tv show. Sully (left) is gay. Got a thing for Ash (right) at the start. Then things were messy. Then they suddenly kissed. And the things are messy again.

El Club (The Club): very interesting show. The gave these two really (like REALLY) spicy scenes. Some romantic stuff. But there’s really not much depth in my option. Check and see.

Volevo fare la rockstar: didn’t see it but it’s an Italian show and there’s a romantic storyline between these two.

No Good Nick: Jeremy (right) came out this year on this sitcom. Nice and very weid sitcom. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but the way they handled his gay storyline was rather nice.

World on Fire: follows lives of ordinary people from Britain, Poland, France, Germany and the USA during World War II. Two of them are gay. And yeah one of those two is Will from sense8.

TV SHOWS (1 SEASON+) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS 

Andi Mack: the show that made history. Andi Mack is a Disney Channel show and for the first time in Disney Channel history, Cyrus (right) came out using the word ‘gay’ and made it official with the recurring character TJ (left) this year. The two-season slow-burn was really worth it.

Shadowhunters: Malec got married this year. Yay.

Grey’s Anatomy: Levi and Nico still going strong.

La Casa de las Flores (The House of Flowers): despite the first season making it seem like it was the end for Diego and Julián, that’s not the case. In season 2, they’re stronger than ever, the scenes are spicier than ever and the show is gayer than ever.

Baby: first season was mostly focused on Fabio (face on right) realizing he’s gay. The second season has shockingly showed us that Brando (face on left) is gay as well. Very toxic ship so if you enjoy Gallavich this is probably for you.

Élite: Omar and Ander continuing their journey.

Shameless: Ian (up) and Mickey (down) came back to Shameless season 10 as main characters. About time.

Station 19: new love interest (left, a deaf character portrayed by a deaf actor) was introduced for Travis (right) in the season 2 finale. Let’s see what happens in season 3, which airs in 2020.

Ackley Bridge: they pretty much baited us with Cory (left) and Naveed (right) this season. They stayed just friends, but Naveed found a love interest, so that’s nice.

Find Me In Paris: Never saw the show, but Jeff (on the picture) is gay and his love interest Isaac gets introduced in second season that aired this year.

13 Reasons Why: Tony and Caleb going strong. It was also revealed that Monty (right) is a closeted gay and had a storyline with Winston (left). There’s probably more to come with them in next season. 

Insatiable: unfortunately they didn’t serve much Bob (right) & Bob this year. But they introduced detective Rudy (left) and there were some scenes and twists and turns. Whatever.

Riverdale: I don’t care. Kevin (left) is still there. There are some gay charcters based on wiki, but yeah. Crumbs, I bet. Whatever.

Charité: second season (which has the two main gay characters) takes place in Berlin in 1943. You don’t need to watch the first season at all, to understand the second one with them, it’s basically a stand-alone.

Animal Kingdom: Deran and Adrian’s story coming to an end?

The Magicians: Well, they killed off the central bi character Quentin (on the picture), so fuck them. 

How to Get Away With Murder: Connor (left) and Oliver (right) still there.

Dear White People: haven’t seen it, but Lionel (on the picture) is still there and he’s gay.

Zoe Valentine: there’s this web series and these two have a storyline in second season that aired this year.

SOAP OPERAS AND TELENOVELAS

Sturm der Liebe: Boris (left) and Tobias (right) are married and lived happily ever after. Really cute and sometimes dramatic storyline overall. Check it out.

Malhação: Vidas Brasileiras: Santiago (left) and Michael (right) had a gay storyline but the show ended this year.

Malhação: Toda Forma de Amar: Guga (right) and Serginho (left) have a gay storyline in the show.

Eastenders: Ben (left) and Callum’s (right) storyline has begun this year.

Neighbours: David (right) and Aaron (left) aka husbands still in the soap.

REALITY SHOWS

Queer Eye: five gay guys helping others. Season 3, 4 and a special have aired this year.

Are You the One?: for the first time in the show’s history, season 8 of this dating reality show had an all-sexually fluid cast this year. Which means mlm and wlw and anything else. Really fun show.

MOVIES

Benjamin: don’t even remember what the movie was about but I rec because it was cute and I mean hello Merlin.

Boy Erased: homosexuality and religion. Has a Troye Sivan in it. Very decent movie.

And Then We Danced: my favorite gay movie of this year. All the things they had to do to be able to film this in homophobic Georgia (the country)... just wow. It’s a must-watch.

Who Would You Take to a Deserted Island?: didn’t know what to expect from this movie. It is based on a play and it shows. Watch and be the judge of it. The acting was really highlight of the movie.

This Is Not Berlin: hasn’t seen it yet since it was just officially released. But it is included in an LGBT+ section so... hopefully they didn’ lie.

Rocketman: movie about Elton John with Taron Egerton and Richard Madden... I mean, phew.

Un Rubio (The Blonde One): gonna watch this, apparently it’s amazing based on what some of my mutuals have said.

The Death and Life of John F. Donovan: Jon Snow being gay and kissing Chris Zylka. Made by Xavier Dolan. A literal tripple threat. Genuinely enjoyed the movie and the soundtrack.

Ranchlands: haven’t seen this but my friend said it’s amazing.

Steam Room Stories: this movie was something... Eating Out levels of ‘I-’ but without all the sex. I guess watch this if you are bored.

Posledice (Consequences): very spicy and intriguing movie. Slovenia snapped with this one.

Papi Chulo: didn’t like this movie and the concept of it but... you can check out and see for yourself.

Dolor y gloria (Pain and Glory): Antonio Banderas kissing a man. Hopefully it really is a gay-related movie because I haven’t seen it yet.

Die Stropers (The Harvesters): brilliant cinematography but I expected much more from the movie.

Giant Little Ones: what happens when you’re into your best friend’s sister but the best friend gives you a BJ. Well... watch and see.

Kanarie (Canary): a war musical about a small town boy who gets chosen to serve his compulsory two year military training in the South African Defence Force Choir and Concert. Loved the involvement of the Boy George music, aesthetic and story. One of my favorites this year. 

Luciérnagas (Fireflies): haven’t seen it yet but the description says that the main gay character (right) “flees from persecution in Iran and ends up living in the tropical town of Veracruz.”

El Angel: haven’t seen it but apparently there are some implications it was lowkey gay... so yeah.

Dear Ex: from wiki “San Lian was devastated when she discovered her late ex-husband left his insurance payout to his male partner Ah Jie. She decided to bring her son to fight for their rights, but her son instead chose to stand on the other person's side.” Will watch this soon, sounds interesting.

Sauvage: one of the best gay movies this year. Don’t know how to describe it so let me copy paste the description “ Léo is a sex worker who uses drugs whilst longing for love.”

Sócrates: haven’t seen it yet as it was just released.

Marilyn: story about a farm worker who discovers his sexuality in a hostile environment. Didn’t see it since someone has told me there are some scenes that are really HARD to stomach and I ain’t about that life.

Les Crevettes pailletées (The Shiny Shrimps): the movie is about an Olympic swimming champion who makes a homophobic comment in a television interview, and is disciplined by the national swim team with the responsibility of coaching a gay water polo team who aspire to compete in the Gay Games. Sounds and looks like an amazing comedy and can’t wait to watch it when I will be able to.

Fin de siglo (End of the Century): it’s not out yet as far as I know, but it’s about two men who meet in Barcelona and realize they have met already 20 years ago.

Matthias et Maxime: another excellence by Xavier Dolan. Story about life-long friends who question their sexual identities after they kiss. Looks amazing and I can’t wait for it to get released finally.

The Goldfinch: not a gay movie, but I’ve seen many people considering it as LGBT+ cinema because of the book and you know what, they kissed after all so you can perceive it beyond friendship if you want. If not, then just skip it. I feel like it is worth mentioning it tho.

Mapplethorpe: movie is about the life of photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Didn’t see it but Doctor Who plays him so there’s that.

UPCOMING

TV SHOWS

9-1-1: Lone Star: The spin-off of a popular show 9-1-1 by Ryan Murphy is premiering 19th of January 2020. It’s confirmed that the main character TK (a firefighter, left) will be romantically involved with the main character Carlos (a police officer, right). The show will also have a main trans man.

Love, Simon: The Series: A Disney+ Love, Simon spin-off is on its way and will premiere in 2020. The series will follow Victor (right) and his coming-out story at the same high school where Love, Simon took place. Didn’t find a photo with his love interest. The guy on the left will most likely be his enemy.

#lgbtcinema #gallavich #tyrus #ballum #lgbtedit #love simon #the goldfinch #hsmtmts #brunol #wtfock #lgbt #gay #text #* #gay rec

[jeremys-blogs]

Lumity: A Well-Made Bond

The Owl House has a lot of good things going for it, and I covered a great deal of those things in my last post about it. But there is one aspect about the show that I've come to enjoy possibly more than anything else, and that's the relationship between its central protagonist, Luz Noceda, and supporting character Amity Blight. And before anyone wonders, no, I'm not going to spend this entire thing just fawning over the two and gushing over how adorable I think they are together. But believe me, I am seriously tempted to do exactly that, because hey, just look at that image above. No, as much as all that stuff is true, I truly like this growing bond between the two and how it's developed over the course of the series, with them having started out as being at odds with one another to winding up as so much more. It's been an incredible journey seeing their relationship change in the way that it has, and along the way it's served as an excellent showcase for the character of Amity herself, who is unquestionably one of my favourites in this show's cast. So without further ado, allow me to explain why I feel this relationship is one of the highlights of the show for me.

When Amity is first introduced to us, her very first scene makes us think we know exactly who this girl is going to be for us. She's the typical school bully character. The one who will rival Luz and her friends and push them around whenever they meet. The girl that we'll cheer whenever she faces defeat. Yet despite Amity showing the traits of that character, even in this earliest of moments we see that there's more to her. Yes, she's unkind to Willow, but she's also someone who greatly values hard work, and utterly despises cheaters. And as the episode progresses we may find ourselves siding with her, if only out of principal. Luz and Willow were cheating and lying about what they were doing in order to make the latter look better at her classes than she really was, and no matter how you slice it, Amity losing her spot as top student to someone who only succeed through deception is an unfair thing. Amity's anger was justified, even if we were given nothing else to like about her just now. So while expectations had been set up for her to be an unlikable character, there were already shades of more beneath the surface, and that's something we'd get a lot more of as time went on.

In her next couple of appearances, we started to see Amity outside of the competitive environment of Hexside, and again this brought to light sides of her that wouldn't have been expected. We learn of her ambition to join the Emperor's Coven and her utter glee at the thought of actually succeeding at it. We see her reading to children and actually enjoy doing so, even if she protested at her reasons for doing it. In short, we started to see a great deal of positive traits from her. True, she was still bitter towards Luz, and actions like stepping on King's cupcake certainly weren't called for, but this was definitely the start of her growing out of the bully role she'd been set up for, which is especially interesting considering she'd only had one episode in that spot. Yet her time with Luz in both episodes, Covention and Lost in Language, shows them both growing closer, with Amity acknowledging that there's more to her than just being a cheat in the former, and recognising and appreciating that she herself hadn't been the nicest of people in the latter. The two weren't friends by this point, but it definitely laid the groundwork for them to become such later on.

Then, after the long hiatus of the show, we got Adventures in the Elements, where the connection between Amity and Luz has apparently blossomed into a full-blown friendship. Whatever animosity had been between them had gone by this point, and they were both excited at the prospect of actually going to the same school together. Amity had come to recognise by now that Luz works just as hard as she does when it comes to learning magic, even if she wasn't as far along in her skills as she was, and the fact that they shared common interests, most notably their love for the Azura book series, gave Amity possibly the first genuine friend she's had in a very long time. But there were still bumps in the road for her and Luz, especially then the latter stole her training wand for her own purposes. And on a side note, I understand that Luz was likely frustrated with her own training, but that was still the most disappointed I'd ever been in her by that point. Still, those problems were worked through, and much like with the "library incident" the two worked together to successfully overcome the big danger of the episode, resulting in Luz learning her second spell and Amity looking forward to their time as classmates.

After this, we wouldn't see much of Amity during Luz's early time in Hexside, but her next big inclusion in the story came in one of the season's best episodes, Understanding Willow, where we're given not only another great instance of Amity and Luz working together, but also giving us a full explanation as to why Amity was the way she was towards Willow during their first appearance. It is revealed that Amity distancing herself from her was the result of an apparently abusive household, where the Blight's family status pressured her to associate only with more powerful witches. Her parents even went so far as to threaten to keep Willow out of school should Amity continue to be friends with her. So in the end, it turns out that Amity's cruelty was done so Willow actually had a chance of getting into Hexside in the first place. Now, this is a terrible thing for children to go through, both Willow and Amity, and the latter's parents rightly deserve a good smack for treating their daughter that way. But while Amity's words and actions towards Willow were bad, they became understandable, as they were hiding a greater cruelty behind them. It doesn't excuse Amity for how she was with Willow at the start of the show, but it does put it in a new light. And additionally, I appreciate how this didn't automatically become a renewed friendship with Willow when all was said and done, as such things take time to heal.

And then, we came to the big one. Enchanting Grom Fright. This was it, the big Lumity moment that had the fandom screaming and squealing with joy over finally seeing those two cinnamon rolls get together. And I'd be dishonest if I said I wasn't wearing the biggest smile on my face when I saw that episode play out. Luz and Amity's moments together, especially that now-famous dance sequence, were immediately enjoyable to watch and have likely been re-watched over a dozen times now. But it also served as a pretty definitive marker that Amity's feelings towards Luz had developed far beyond friendship by this point. So much so that her greatest fear was being rejected by her, either in general or for the dance specifically. There had been hints of that liking before this, but this episode confirmed it. And what I love about it is that a lot of groundwork had been established beforehand to make it work. It wasn't just them being friends after the library and then instant crush. Time had been taken to bring us to this point, so that when they finally went together in that incredible dance, it was a moment that the show had fully earned for itself.

Now, before, I go any further with what happens with Amity in the show, I feel like I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the point of LGBT representation in this show. Now, I am by no means someone who is qualified to speak on matters like this, but if I'm going to talk about a same-sex relationship like this I feel it's sort of unavoidable. Obviously I'm happy that Disney is doing this, regardless of whether or not it's their first such relationship on-screen. I have no idea if it is, given all the news I've heard of other "firsts" in Disney media. But I think what's especially interesting about this is that it's taking place in a story where the themes and ideas sort of align with those kinds of relationships. Remember, as I mentioned in my last Owl House discussion, one of the big ideas of the Boiling Isles is that it's a society where those who deviate from the norm are looked down on or punished severely, and I don't think I'm wrong in saying that that's a situation that a lot of LGBT people can identify with. So having this relationship take place against that sort of backdrop seems like an ideal match, though I'm not sure if that's a specific idea the writers had for it.

Once we got Grom out of the way, Amity continued to be a good and enjoyable character, but her development, it had to be said, wasn't as profound after the big dance. Outside of learning that she had past regrets from hurting her former grudgby teammates, the only things new with her is that her feelings for Luz have reached such a point that she's driven to an almost blubbering, incoherent state whenever she's close to her. Naturally, this is as hilarious and endearing as you'd expect, and was easily one of the more entertaining aspects of the Wing it Like Witches episode. However, it also showed a rather unfortunate point about this crush she has on Luz, and that's that Luz herself seems oblivious to it. Sure, that's great for comedy, but it does present the worry that Amity's romantic leanings towards her might not be fully reciprocated. As a shipper myself, this is troublesome, but objectively speaking I can't say it's a real problem with the episode or the relationship. Indeed, having it turn out that Luz doesn't feel the same way, and then Amity having to deal with it with the two still maintaining a friendship has the potential for a good episode down the line, so on that note we'll likely just have to wait and see.

When that was over, we reached pretty much the end of Amity's inclusion in season one. Aside from a few cameo appearances showing her recovering from her grudgby injury, she wouldn't make another appearance in the story. Now, as someone who very much likes this character, this was disappointing, but I do understand wanting to downplay her. She had, after all, pretty much dominated the story for the last few episodes, so I can appreciate wanting to ease off her for a while and get back to the main cast. As far as her relationship to Luz is concerned, we'll have to wait until the show's second season to see where it goes, though I can predict some interesting things between them given how the season ended. Luz is now officially an enemy of Emperor Belos, the leader Amity has spent her life trying to enter into the service of, and that, coupled with Luz's likely dislike of the man, with probably lead to some conflicted feelings between the two girls. I truly hope this doesn't sour the connection they've established, but like with a lot of things brought on by the season finale, that's all up in the air right now. I've known the struggle of waiting for new season before, and I can go through it again.

The Owl House has a lot of great things to talk about, and while I may feel differently about it as time goes on, for now I really do enjoy the character of Amity a lot. The way she's written, the way she breaks out of the expectations we might have started out for her, the way she slowly grew closer to the rest of the cast, to finally developing feelings for our main heroine, it was all a delight to watch. I might even go so far as to say that, when it comes to school rival characters, she may be among the best I've ever seen, if only by virtue of how enjoyable she's been. Like with everyone else in this cast, Amity has been a stellar inclusion, and though I worry about how she'll be handled when the Owl House eventually returns to us, for now I'm very satisfied with what we've seen of her thus far. Lumity may not, as I may have indicated earlier, be the objective best thing about this show, but it continues to bring a smile to my face. And I think we can all agree that, in times like this, finding something that makes us feel happy should be treasured as much as possible 🥰

#essay #writing #my stuff #disney #the owl house #shipping #luz noceda #amity blight #lumity

[kevrocksicehouse]

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie. 

D: Jonathan Butterell (2021). 

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie is the story of a sixteen-year-old gay teen whose desire to be a drag queen and to come to his prom in a dress runs afoul of the small-minded folk of a British town and you might be forgiven for thinking you’ve seen it before. It mashes up The Prom, Footloose, Billy Elliot and any number of Glee episodes into a readymade tale of empowerment. Even the true story that it’s based on seems to show up in some version every prom season.  This adaptation of a hit British musical seems shopworn until we realize how charming it is and how it’s brio and enthusiasm shame its forbears. As Jamie, Max Harwood shows the snarky arrogance and self-involvement that the only out gay kid in school uses to survive (his drag name MiMi Me, satirizes his own narcissism) and mixes in the adolescent insecurity of a kid rejected by his father (whose passive indifference is crueler than actual abuse) trying to find his place in the world. In his corner is his heroically supportive mother (Sarah Lancashire) whose birthday gift of Ruby colored heels changes Jamies life, and Pritti (Lauren Patel), his best friend who as the only Muslim in school is his partner in pariahdom. The songs are witty (“the boy so nice/he came out twice”) and sprightly and even the ballads (“The Wall in My Head”) avoid maudlin self-pity.

Best of all, Butterell cast Richard E. Grant as Hugo Battersby, the dress shop owner and (as “Loco Chanelle”) a former local drag icon, who becomes Jamie’s mentor. Grant plays him as a Mr. Myagi of drag dispensing both bitchy witticisms (“Don’t just linger like an old nun’s fart”) and an evangelism (“A boy in a dress is something to be laughed at, a drag queen is something to be feared.”) that bounds over camp into hard-won wisdom.

Butterel and score composer Dan Gillespie Sells give him a bravura sequence, the new song “This Was Me,” in which Hugo gives Jamie a history lesson in the drag community of the ‘80s drag community (“Poisoned patter on a barbed remark/ “Bette Davis playing Joan of Arc”) and it’s decimation by both Thatcherite repression and the AIDS plague ( “Every weekend was a wake”) which Butterell frames as a series of home movies shot by a lover who succumbs to the virus. Grant is largely absent from the sequence (his younger self is played by John McCrea who played Jamie onstage) and the song is mostly sung by former Frankie Goes to Hollywood lead singer Holly Johnson) but Grant’s face at the end is as moving a piece of acting as I’ve seen all year. The actor gives this innocuous feel-good movie a weight it needs in what theater calls a showstopper and that really isn’t like something we’ve seen before.

In theaters and available for streaming on Amazon Prime Video

#everybody's talking about jamie #jonathan butterell #max harwood #richard e grant #review #kevrock

[spaceorphan18]

Blaine Solos Ranked

With the success of the Kurt Solos Ranked, I thought I’d see if I could do Blaine’s as well.  Which has become an interesting and complicated endeavor.  

First of all - there’s the whole issue of what constitutes as a solo -- especially when he often times has an entire back up group singing along with him.  Things like the Warbler numbers I counted -- because he sings the lead in the song by himself.  Not counted are group numbers where he is featured - such as Hey Jude and This Is the New Year.  Mostly, I stuck to what Glee Wiki counts as a solo, so if you have issues, take it up with them. 

Secondly, when ranking Kurt solos, I took a lot into account of how heavily the song ties Kurt’s story.  While nearly all of Kurt’s solos tie in with his story, the Blaine solos don’t always do so.  So, mostly this is just what I think of them. 

Thirdly, the Blaine fans that I have met are, well, fairly passionate about his music, so I want to say this.  There aren’t really any bad Blaine solos.  Unlike Will and Tina, who were subjected to poor song choices, Blaine’s performances, across the board, are pretty stellar.  So, I’d like to remind everyone that this list is pretty arbitrary and based on my subjective biases.  

So going in - take the list as it is, just a fun look at how one person ranks the solos. :) 

Btw - the trivia on Glee wiki says that Blaine sings 31 solos, but I only found 29 -- do they mean the two songs added to the Warblers CD? Or am I missing a couple??

29. I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You (Prom Queen) 

Look at the list of Blaine solos, and arranging it to a list of things I like more than other things, this just kept sinking down and down.  The biggest reason is that I just don’t like the song.  Yup, that’s it.  Nothing exciting about that really.  But I suppose adding to that is the fact that this performance feels way more Darren than it does Blaine, and that the onscreen performance is mostly Finn and Jesse fighting over Rachel.  As I said earlier, there’s nothing /bad/ about any of Blaine’s solo, I just like all the rest more. 

28. Piano Man (Movin’ Out) 

This is a perfectly fine albeit generic rendition of this number.  So, here’s my thing about this one - when they did Piano Man in season one, not only did the song fit a bit more into context with Will and Bryan Ryan being somewhat washed up losers, there was a grittiness in not only the song but the visuals as well, and we get to do something that TV can do, which is transport us into the atmosphere of the song.  By the time Blaine gets to do this number, all of that context and TV atmosphere has been kind of washed away.  And this feels like a number that everyone would have fun singing at Darren’s piano bar because it’s a classic, and less because it has relevance to any of the story.  

Look - a lot of these numbers are fun numbers just for the heck of it, but since they had already done this one, and since this is supposed to take place of the NYADA audition, I’m marking it down.  You can do a lot with this song, and this performance, mostly, didn’t.  

27. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

This is another one where I just am not a fan of the original song, and I don’t go back to listen to it very often.  That said - it is super fun to see Blaine joining all the clubs and being super interactive in school, even if it’s tinged with the sadness that he and Kurt aren’t connecting much these days. 

26. Bills, Bills, Bills (The Sue Sylvester Shuffle) 

This one has grown on me over the years.  It is a bit random - the Warblers’ singing an impromptu (and somewhat obligatory) Destiny’s Child song for the Superbowl episode.  It has zero story resonance.  But it is hilarious to see how much furniture Darren Blaine stands on during the number.  If nothing else, the number is fun, and the Warblers look like they’re enjoying the hell out of doing it.

25. When I Get You Alone (Silly Love Songs)

This one, still, is one of the cringiest things they did on the show.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s hilariously ridiculous, and Blaine singing to a dude in The Gap about sex toys is just, well, something memorable.  It also is getting points for Kurt’s annoyed looks and Darren’s pink sunglasses.  But overall, it still makes me uncomfortable to watch. 

24. Fighter (Big Brother)

So, mostly, this just isn’t a song I like all that much.  Vocally, Blaine sounds fine on it - and does a decent job with it.  That said, I can’t take it as seriously as I’m supposed to.  There’s something I find unintentionally hilarious about this little, teenage grandpa angsting over his brother.  I know it’s got the infamous shower sequence in here - and I get it, I do.  But the fact that I can’t keep from giggling through it is why it’s a bit lower than the rest.  

23. Against All Odds (Guilty Pleasures)

First of all, I’ve always confused by the debate about this song.  It’s clearly for Sam, because Blaine’s an intense guy with intense emotions, and any song he sings for a person he has feelings for is going to be intense.  Go back and watch When I Get You Alone -- that was intense for a dude he got coffee with twice.  I love Blaine (and Darren) with a piano and his voice, and this is one of the ones that was performed live, so that’s cool.  Not my favorite Phil Collins’s number - so that’s mostly the reason for the position here.  Also not the most visually engaging.  But the song is performed well. 

22. Hopelessly Devoted to You (The Role You Were Born to Play)

I’ve never realized just how many angsty Blaine songs he has in his canon.  It’s kind of like the equivalent of Kurt crying through his solos.  He does it well, and I don’t really have any faults for this one.  It’s visually entertaining as well as sounding pretty good.  But not a favorite song of mine, and therefore just gets notched a bit lower.  

21. Last Friday Night (Pot o Gold)

I actually really like this song, even if I’ve probably heard it enough to be fine with not hearing it again for a long time.  The performance is cute - there’s a nice high energy about it (with the exception of Santana’s dower expression during the whole thing because random season 3 conflict).  However, this is kind of the height of whole Jukebox Blaine thing, where he’s trotted out to sing the hot new single of the summer, and then we just stash him away in the background to sit next to Kurt platonically until he’s needed again.  I like the song and the performance, but am frustrated by the gratuitous context.  

20. It's Not Unusual (The Purple Piano Project)

This one is flirty and high energy and Blaine looks super cute dancing on the stairs.  I don’t really have any faults for this number.  But I’m not particularly emotionally attached to it, either, so so in the middle it goes. 

19. Hey, Soul Sister (Special Education)

I unabashedly love this song - even though I feel like I’m not supposed to since it was way, way over played when it was popular.  But I do.  The performance, however, isn’t the Warblers’ best -- across the board I feel like competition numbers rarely are -- and I’d argue it’s one of Blaine’s weaker vocal performances (sorry Darren), but it’s still fun, and the arrangements for the Warbler songs have always been pretty stellar. 

18. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (Michael)

While the song itself is a bit strange, and while I’ve never been a huge MJ fan (sorry my dudes), I think this number is a lot of fun.  It’s visually pretty entertaining, and I love the second half where they bring in all of the different styles MJ had donned over the years.  It’s vocally pretty stagnant, so Blaine doesn’t have to do much here, but it’s about the spectacle anyway - and I enjoy what they did with it. 

17. Something’s Coming

It’s always nice to hear Blaine do a Broadway number to give us a break from the mostly pop music he sings.  While not Blaine’s strongest number vocally (he struggles just a little more on the Broadway ones), I love that he brings the stage alive when it’s just him singing.  He’s incredibly visually engaging, and what he may lack (a little) with the vocals he makes up in energy and enthusiasm, which is always a joy to watch.  Plus, there’s something particularly more attractive about early season 3 Blaine (possibly the fluffier, less gelled hair) that adds a nice touch. 

16. Not While I'm Around (Bash)

Interestingly, the studio version of this song has everyone on it, and I’m so glad they let Blaine sing it on his own - because I feel it’s much more impactful that way.  Not only is this the only real insight we get into Blaine’s head during this episode, but it’s raw and emotional (in a good way), and that adds to story unfolding on our screen.  This might be, perhaps, the shortest number on the list, but its impact is stronger than a lot of the other numbers on the list, which is why I enjoy it a lot more. 

15. Beauty School Dropout (Glease)

My favorite Broadway number that Blaine does on the show.  I kind of love that there’s a lot going on during this song.  Not only is Blaine doing an amazing Teen Angel, there’s the moment in the middle Blaine sees Kurt, and the layered look on Blaine’s face as he tries to hold it together is pretty remarkable.  It’s one of my favorite acting moments from Darren, and one of my favorite times the story of the characters is layered over a seemingly disconnected performance.  Plus, Blaine sounds fantastic on this catchy little number.  

14. Silly Love Songs (Silly Love Songs) 

This is one of those charming Warbler numbers that doubles as an ending feature that actually gives relevance to the story of the episode.  It’s cute and sweet and flirty and fun and everyone gets something interesting to do during it.  I don’t have a lot of commentary to add about it - but it’s a classic for a reason, and because of that, it deserves a higher spot on the list. 

13. You're My Best Friend (Puppet Master)

I’m not sure I fully understand the casts’ aversion to the puppets (though I’ll acknowledge that it’s probably weird to perform with a puppet of yourself).  That said, this number is kinda cool visually, and a nice break from what can be tedious choir room songs at this point in the series.  I also enjoy the song and think Blaine sounds nice on it.  Plus - Blaine totally has a backup career in children’s programming if he ever desired.  It is weird that Blaine’s singing to puppets in the first place, but I do adore this one. 

12. Don't Stop Me Now (Diva)

I enjoy that Blaine’s version of being a diva is just adding a leather jacket and pants to a number he performs exactly the same otherwise.  Again, not much to comment on here, but I love the song, and Blaine sounds great on it, and while it isn’t hugely impactful to his story, I like that it shows Blaine being the ambitious little go-getter that he is.  

11. Misery (Original Song) 

This is another one of those songs that I unironically love.  It is the most upbeat song about being miserable that I’ve ever heard, and while a lot of this song has to do with Kurt and his own mental state, has there ever been a more perfect song for Blaine? (well, yes but I’d digress if I went on about that.)  I love so much about this song, from the choreography to Blaine’s obliviousness with Kurt as the number progresses.  It’s fun and energetic and the most entertaining a subject as misery can get. 

10. Cough Syrup (On My Way) 

This might be the most controversial pick on the list, since I know for a lot of Blaine fans, this is their favorite number.  I think it validates what a lot of people had been thinking - that there’s a lot going on underneath the surface of an outwardly peppy and energetic Blaine Anderson.  And, I do like this song, and find it haunting -- it’s much different than the songs Blaine usually sings.  It’s more emotional and tortured, and it’s fascinating to watch him sing his way through it.  That said, the actual performance of this I rarely ever watch.  It’s laid over Karofsky’s suicide attempt, and I find that sequence incredibly difficult to watch.  So, while I do think a lot of the praise this song gets is completely valid, I can’t claim that it’s my favorite.  I’m giving it an obligatory spot at #10 because I do think it deserves to be acknowledged as one of Blaine’s best solos. 

9. It's Not Alright but It's Okay (Dance With Somebody)

Funny enough, as just a song, this isn’t one of my favorites.  But I love, love what this song does.  Clearly, by now I’m sure you’ve figured out, I love performances that have a lot of layers to them - and this one definitely does.  There’s a great duality going on here between the awkward sadness that Blaine actually sings in the choir room versus the controlled anger that Blaine displays during his own fantasy.  (It’s also one half of a conversation with Kurt that gets resolved when Kurt sings I Have Nothing later on.)  I love the complexity of emotion that goes on during this one, and it remains one of my favorite performances on the show.  

8. My Dark Side (Dynamic Duets) 

Yes, this song is amazing! Again, another one of those performances that has a ton packed in it -- that has the additional quality of sounding and looking fantastic.  I love that this song is entirely about Blaine, and where he is in his life.  We get more tortured Blaine, but this time it’s in a more upbeat, pop-y song that suits Blaine incredibly well.  But mostly, I love his interaction with the Warblers during it, the choreography is brilliant as they slowly start to bring him back in as their leader - and that moment where he parts them and he walks down the center reclaiming his position.  There’s a lot to unpack here, as it easily meshes with the themes of the episode - of dark vs light and of heroes not always being heroic (but worth it anyway).  I love when there’s deeper symbolism in a performance, and this has a ton of that. 

7. All of Me (The Untitled Rachel Berry Project) 

Look, it’s probably no secret that I really love Blaine (and Darren) just sitting at a piano singing.  And I really love this song in general, too.  Blaine’s last solo on the show (unfortunately!) is as tortured as many of the others on this list, but the thing that stands out for me about this one is its simplicity.  It’s just Blaine by himself, working out how he feels about his situation through song.  It’s not really meant to be heard by Kurt (or anyone else) but it’s also a shame that so rarely Blaine gets to let his real emotions be on display, which he does here.  The performance is also beautifully shot, and intentionally evocative of another infamous Blaine solo that’s a little higher on the list. 

6. Raise Your Glass (Original Song) 

This is quintessential Warblers, and quintessential performance Blaine.  This song is amazing on its own, truly.  But the Warblers bring so much warmth and joy to it -- it’s such an engaging and energetic song, I often listen to it as a pick me up.  No - this isn’t essential to Blaine’s character story, but I think it represents all the fun and ridiculousness Blaine and the Warblers arc brought to the show. 

5. Somewhere Only We Know (Born This Way) 

There’s something hauntingly beautiful about this one.  Blaine (and the Warblers) sound great on it, and it’s the beginning of Blaine having a tortured and emotional underbelly to his personality.  But more so, this song is about endings, and this is a turning point in Kurt’s and Klaine’s story as we say goodbye to Dalton and move on with the rest of Kurt’s journey.  And it’s a dialogue between Kurt and Blaine, despite the sea of people around them, things are changing between them for better and for worse and for... just growing up, and this song encapsulates that beautifully. 

4. All You Need is Love (Love, Love, Love)

Not gonna lie, this one is 100% about the context within the show.  When I first heard the song, when it was released before the episode, it was kinda like - cool, Darren’s singing a Beatles cover.  But the actual performance, the fact that this is essentially a love letter to the Klaine story, makes it one of the most precious and romantic numbers in the entire show.  Blaine pulls out all the stops for Kurt here, and I can never just watch the performance, but always continue on to the proposal as well.  It’s a beautiful performance, and a beautiful moment for Klaine and an utter highlight for the show itself. 

3. It’s Time (The New Rachel) 

Perhaps a number I’ve seen more than any other, I just love this number so much. Yes, it’s a good song.  Yes, Blaine sounds great on it.  And yes, the choreography is a ton of fun.   But it’s also Blaine, very much himself, torn between being a child and growing up.  There’s an unspoken dialogue between Kurt and Blaine during this song, about moving on from being stuck, and while this number is very childlike in it’s choreography, the subject matter is a little more mature -- being about moving on from the places your feel safe and journeying out in the world to be the person you’re supposed to be.  There’s also a duality here -- where Blaine is stuck in the childlike land of high school as Kurt moves on to college and New York.  This is another turning point in their story (as is all the songs done on these steps for these two), and I absolutely love that.  But, it shouldn’t be discounted that it is a really good song that Blaine sounds really good on -- which is why it makes it one of Blaine’s best solos. 

2. Teenage Dream Acoustic (The Break Up) 

I’m sure that no one is surprised this at the top of the list. But what I can’t stress enough is that this is, hands down, one of the best performances done on the show period.  Katy Perry’s original version of Teenage Dream is a trashy, forgettable pop song.  What Darren Criss did with it is nothing short of magical.  But then to bring this arrangement and add in his most phenomenal acting performance, even if it did break all of our hearts.  The thing I love especially about the show version (vs the studio version) is that we get to see Blaine slowly break down and become unraveled while singing it.  The performer that Blaine is starts to break down and this performance becomes an utter mess -- which makes it all the more powerful, moving, and heartbreaking.  I love everything that this number chooses to be -- from exposing Blaine’s character, to the breaking of the fairy tale romance that is Klaine, to letting it be an end of one thing while the beginning of another.  

Meanwhile, on another note, I’ve heard Darren sing this enough in his own performances that I have somewhat disassociated this version with the Klaine break up - but that doesn’t make this arrangement less powerful.  Darren took a somewhat throwaway song and made something uniquely beautiful with it -- and that’s incredibly special, too.  

1. Teenage Dream (Never Been Kissed)

I’m sure you’re gasping with surprise.  But, this is no. 1 for a reason.  While I think the acoustic version is better sounding (there’s just a tad too much auto tune here for reasons I’m unsure about), this number is the epitome of all Blaine numbers.  It’s his introduction to the show, and so much of Blaine’s character was cultivated out of this performance.  On top of that -- this performance made Kurt alive again, and it’s the beginning of a wild and beautiful story that would be the Klaine love story.  It also became a major hit for the show - thrusting the music of Glee to a height that it never really could match again.  

The scene is iconic and classic.  The song is iconic and classic.  Everything that is Blaine and the Klaine love story is wrapped up in this one.  And every time I come back to it, I can’t help but smile - which is why this one remains at the top spot for me.  

#blaine anderson #that's how s.o. sees it #huh #i've learned a lot about myself doing this actually #and a bit about blaine too tbh

[bestofglee]

Season 3, Episode 11- Michael

(Written by: Ryan Murphy) (Directed by: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon)

Episode Rating: 8/10 rock salt slushies

Star of the episode: Sebastian Smythe & Santana Lopez (they both slayed this episode)

Quote of the episode: “Kurt this isn’t violent, this is clever. I taped it to my under boob...” -Santana Lopez

Best moment: The Santana & Sebastian face-off

Slush-O-Meter: 2 - Blaine slushied by Sebastian/ Santana slushied by Sebastian

Song Rankings: (incredible performances all around)

1. Smooth Criminal - Santana Lopez & Sebastian Smythe

(Literal perfection/ the cellists kill it, Santana & Sebastian’s voices slay, the tension between them is everything/ two hot alphas facing off yes please 🥵)

2. Bad - New Directions & The Warblers

(so so good/ New Directions vs. The Warblers in a parking garage/ the backup vocals are on point/ I can’t get over how amazing Santana vs. Sebastian is/ I love it all so much ❤️)

3. Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ - Blaine Anderson with New Directions

(Super fun/ Blaine sounds great/ I love them all dancing throughout the school and when they get to the stage and they’re all dressed in different Michael outfits 👌🏻/ all their dance moves ugh yes)

4. Black or White - New Directions

(another fun Michael performance/ Artie & Santana are just meant for Michael/ it’s sweet when the Warblers join in/ I also love when they are dancing and their head morphs into a different glee club member, I found it really cool)

5. Human Nature - Mercedes Jones & Sam Evans

(Samcedes ❤️ - we needed more of them/ their voices sound so good together/ Samcedes kiss at the end aw)

6. I Want You Back - Dalton Academy Warblers

(this performance should have stayed in the episode/ I love Sebastian and his voice/ the Warblers always slay/ New Directions’ reactions are too good)

7. Scream - Artie Abrams & Mike Chang

(This is really fun/ I love dream sequences where Artie is able to dance/ Artie & Mike are an underrated pair/ Mike’s voice in this song yes)

8. Never Can Say Goodbye - Quinn Fabray

(Faberry sexual tension right before she starts singing I mean.../ Quinnie baby ❤️/ she’s such an elegant beauty with a very classic voice/ a rare Quinn performance is always a treat)

9. I Just Can’t Stop Loving You - Finn Hudson & Rachel Berry

(Finchel’s voices together complement each other so well/ I enjoyed it)

10. Ben - Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry & Finn Hudson

(pretty & simple/ this song is just weird to me/ it’s sweet how they’re singing to Blaine though)

#glee #3.11 #Michael #Sebastian Smythe #Santana lopez #smooth criminal #new directions #the warblers #Blaine anderson #Mercedes Jones #Sam evans #Artie Abrams #Mike Chang #Quinn fabray #Rachel berry #Finn Hudson #Kurt Hummel #glee ratings

[waywardaardvark79]

Supernatural Series Rewrite: Season 2, Episode 2: Everybody Loves a Clown

Summary: Y/N Singer joins Sam and Dean on the road. A rewrite starring you. 

Pairing: Dean X Reader, Sam X Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Show level violence, language

Word Count: 18,709 (I’m so sorry)

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I’m still not sure on a set schedule for this. I’ll try to get the next episode out as soon as I can. Tags open. 

You focused your eyes on a single glowing ember that seemed to float effortlessly through the night air. You tried your best to follow its path, a loud popping sound making you lose your focus, your attention falling back on the pyre and the burning body in front of you. John's body.

It was a moonless night, the only light coming from the pyre, as you stood in tense silence between Sam and Dean. You glanced over at Dean, who was standing about a foot away from you. He had his hands shoved into his pockets as he stared into the flames. His stance was ridgid, the expression on his face was devoid of any emotion.

His indifference would appear cold to anyone that didn't know him, but you knew that he was doing everything in his power to hold it all together. The truth was in his eyes. They told the story that the rest of his body tried to keep hidden. Swirling inside those green irises were a multitude of emotions. Despair, melancholy, guilt, self loathing, to name a few. They were the eyes of a broken man, the eyes of a man that was lost with no idea how or if he could ever get back to the person he was before.

You turned your attention back to the pyre, your own guilt eating you up inside. You couldn't help but blame yourself for John's demise. If he had only made a deal to bring Dean back and not you too, he'd still be here. Sure, the Colt and the bullet would be gone, but John would still be alive. Sam and Dean would still have their father, and you knew that in time they would both get over losing you. After all, John would be a lot more useful in the fight ahead.

You could hear Sam shifting back and forth on his feet, and you looked in his direction, your heart breaking at the sight of him. He was near tears, fidgeting uncomfortably as he stared at the pyre. You reached out for his hand, and laced your fingers with his, the pair of gloves you snatched from the hospital squeaking a little.

You looked down at your hand that was joined with his and noticed that Sam seemed to be holding onto you for dear life. Your hand looked so small in his. It reminded you of how a child's hand would look clutching onto their parent's hand, your mind quickly changing when you looked Sam in the eyes.

Despite his height and towering build, he looked so small in that moment. His shoulders were slumped forward, his eyes red rimmed and glassy as he did his best to hold back his tears. He looked like a heart broken little boy, and you wanted nothing more than to protect him and take his pain away.

You steeled your shoulders, and gave his hand a gentle squeeze as you turned your attention back to the pyre. You knew that you had to push down everything that you were feeling. You had to lock it all up somewhere deep inside of yourself because your feelings didn't matter right now. You knew that the only thing you could focus on was getting the two of them through this the best you could.

"Before he...before, did he say anything to you? About anything?" Sam quietly asked, breaking the silence.

"No. Nothing." Dean replied, not looking at Sam, his attention still on the pyre, you giving Sam's hand another squeeze when he let out a small, defeated breath.

The three of you had gone back to Bobby's, and you each slipped into a rather monotonous routine. Dean pushed everyone away, always insisting that he was completely fine. You weren't shocked by his behavior. You knew him too well, and you knew that he would be looking for anything to use as a distraction.

He threw himself into fixing the Impala, and the two of you generally avoided each other, only meeting up late at night to drink yourselves into oblivion. You knew that he needed his space, and you were more than happy to give it to him, only going to him when he sought you out.

You were sure that this type of interaction would be problematic for most people, but you completely understood. You knew that nothing you said to him would change anything, or make him feel better. So, why talk about something that you can't change? Dean never was the one to talk everything out, to lay everything out on the table. He held his cards close, and his walls were high. You couldn't blame him. You were the same way, both of you choosing to bottle everything up and pretend that everything was okay.

It would work for a little while, but you knew that he was a ticking time bomb. Sooner or later something would set him off, and all of that pent up emotion would come pouring out. So, you did the only thing you knew to do. You kept your distance, and just hoped that you would be able to put him back together when he broke.

When you weren't sleeping off yet another hangover you were with Sam. You listened to him vent every frustration he had without interruption. You offered whatever advice you could, and tried your best to convince him to just let Dean be. Sam was just wired differently than the two of you though. He needed to discuss every little detail, and it was almost as if he took offense to the fact that you and Dean didn't.

You and Bobby continued to tiptoe around each other. The awkwardness and unanswered questions of the fight the two of you had before the accident reared its ugly head now that you were back among the living.

There were no cross words spoken between the two of you. In fact, there were no words at all. You were afraid that if you tried to have a conversation with him you would blow up. You had so many questions, and you knew that he had answers. But, everytime you thought about approaching him you stopped yourself.  You were afraid that you wouldn't be able to control yourself. You were so incredibly angry with him, and you felt so betrayed.

It wasn't only Bobby that you were angry with. You were just angry in general. There wasn't one specific thing. It was everything honestly, and you found it growing worse as the days went on. You found yourself losing the battle to push it all down, and you were afraid that the next little thing was going to end up setting you off.

You had managed to distance yourself from everyone for most of the day. The house was now relatively quiet. Bobby had gone to bed hours ago, Sam was upstairs going through some of John's things, and Dean was still outside. You were sitting on the couch, your journal open in your lap, with the TV on in the background for noise.

You flipped through the pages until you came upon a blank one. You had been trying to remember what happened at the hospital, but you could never come up with a full sequence of events. It was all flashes, a giant jigsaw puzzle with too many missing pieces.

You thought that writing down what you could remember might help bring everything back, but you didn't know where to start. The gaps were too large and the things you could remember made no sense to you. Still, you knew that you had to try.

You could remember feeling like you were somewhere that you shouldn't be. Different colors started to flash through your mind, and you tried to clear all of your other thoughts to focus on them.

At first there was green. You scribbled the color down in your journal, your pen absentmindedly underlining the color as you thought back on what it could mean. You jotted down the word "outside" before following after it with a question mark. You couldn't be sure, but you had a gut feeling that the place you had been was somewhere outdoors, rationalizing that the flashes of green you kept seeing could be that of trees.

You looked down at the paper, the end of your pen held loosely between your teeth as the next color flashed through your mind. B-L-U-E, you wrote, carefully printing each letter. You found yourself tracing over each letter as you struggled with the memories that color brought.

Blue was a contradiction. One moment you found yourself completely uncomfortable, the color bringing out feelings of fear and dread. However, a split second later everything you were feeling about that color completely shifted. Blue no longer made you fearful or filled you with dread. No, instead you felt comfort, relief, thankful even. You couldn't understand the drastic change. Nothing you could come up with made any sense. Still, you wrote down the different feelings under the word blue before moving onto the next color.

You had no trouble remembering the next color. You also understood all of the feelings attached to it, and didn't think you could forget them even if you wanted to. Y-E-L-L-O-W, you wrote, underlining it harshly.

You could still see those yellow eyes clear as day. You could remember the way they raked over you and the way they lit up with glee whenever he spoke to you. He always did seem to get some kind of sick enjoyment out of toying with you.

You could still remember the way the corner of his mouth turned up when he told you that John had to sweeten the pot for you, and you still got a shiver down your spine when you thought about those two words he said to you.

No choice. Those two words were running through your head on an endless loop. He told you that you had no choice. You had no choice about trying to save John, and no choice about your destiny. He made sure to stress that, those yellow eyes of his alight with pleasure as he placed his hand on your forehead.

Those two words flipped a switch in you. The anger that you had been trying so hard to contain went from a dull simmer to a raging boil just like that. Your heart was pounding in your chest, one fist clenched by your side while the other hand thumped your pen frantically against the paper in front of you. You could swear that you could feel you body getting hot from the inside, the heat seeming to start in your middle before radiating throughout the rest of you. You were afraid that there was nothing you could do to contain it now. The only thing you could do was  pray that no one crossed your path.

Sam could feel his eyes growing tired, the small screen he had been staring at starting to blur. He had been trying to crack John's voicemail code for hours, but so far he had come up empty. Sam flipped the phone closed and tossed it on the bed beside him before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He laid there for a moment and listened to the sounds of the house settling around him.

Those sounds brought back a flood of childhood memories and a strange sense of comfort. He felt a small smile slide across his face and thought that it was funny how the creaks of an old house could bring someone joy. He couldn't help but go down memory lane.

He always did feel safe there at Bobby's when he was a child. It wasn't that he didn't feel safe with John or Dean, but Bobby had an actual home. He had always been a bit jealous of you for that. Sure, you were no stranger to motel living, but you always had a home to come back to. You had your own room, and possessions that weren't hand me downs. You had some sense of normalcy, a routine, and he could remember how badly he craved that, part of him still did.

Sam thought back to the times the two of you spent there as children. He could remember playing made up games with you while Dean huffed and puffed about how annoying the two of you were. He could remember running up and down the stairs with you, the two of you always careful to avoid the step that creaked loudly when the two of you were sneaking around doing something that you shouldn't have been, and he could remember that the two of you always insisted on sharing a bed.

He chuckled to himself at some of the things the two of you used to talk about late at night. You had both made so many plans for when you were adults, vowing of course to do them together. That's what best friends did after all. They stuck together through everything. He could also remember the day all of those childhood plans changed.

The two of you were quite a bit older then, around sixteen, and it had been quite some time since the two of you had seen each other in person. John kept both Sam and Dean on the road with him, neither one of them needing Bobby to look after them anymore. Still, the two of you kept in close contact, calling each other whenever you could.

Sam was sitting in yet another dump of a motel room, a lore book open in front of him. John and Dean had left not long ago to start chasing down leads. Sam flipped through a couple of pages before closing the book. He drummed his fingers on the table while he stared at the book, knowing that he should be doing what his father asked of him. Instead, he pushed back his chair from the table and made his way to the beat up motel phone on the nightstand.

He picked up the receiver and held it between his ear and shoulder while he dialed your number. He made sure to only let the phone ring twice. It was the signal the two of you had always used. Sam sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing the phone from the nightstand and placing it in his lap as he anxiously waited for you to call back. He was tempted to try you again and found himself reaching quickly for the receiver when it finally started to ring.

"Sammy!" you shouted before he even had a chance to say hello.

"Y/N? Everything okay?" Sam asked, worried that something was wrong.

"Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. Better than fine really. You shoulda seen it, Sammy. It was so fuckin' awesome." you excitedly rambled, Sam chuckling on the other end.

"Yeah, what's that?" Sam asked, just hearing your voice bringing a smile to his face.

"So, Uncle Rufus shows up out of nowhere a few days ago, and he starts telling Dad about this case he's been working. Long story short, he ends up talking Dad into helping out, and they let me go." you said, Sam interrupting.

"How long did it take you to pull that off?" he asked, knowing just how overprotective Bobby was.

"Really, Sam?" you scoffed as you cocked your head to the side to hold the phone with your shoulder, your hands busy unpacking. "You know I've been working whenever I can."

"Yeah." Sam breathed out, his fingers fiddling with the phone cord. "So, what was the case?"

"Ghouls." you excitedly replied, sucking in a deep breath before quickly speaking again. "I wish you coulda seen it. I had this one head shot that was right out of a fuckin' Romero movie. It was awesome. You gotta tell your dumbass brother that I just took the lead away from him."

"His lead?" Sam asked, confused as to what the two of you were competing about now.

"Yeah, when you guys stopped by a few months ago we kinda got into an argument." you explained, Sam laughing under his breath.

"What a surprise." he sarcastically said, you and Dean couldn't seem to be in the same room for five minutes without arguing about something.

"Yeah, who woulda guessed, right? Anyway, we kinda got this...uh, little friendly competition going, and this hunt just put me in the lead. Just rub it in a little for me, would ya? Make sure you tell him that I'm just gonna keep kickin' his ass." you said, Sam not saying anything. "Sam? You still there?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll, uh...I'll be sure to tell him." Sam said, you immediately picking up the shift in his mood.

"Hey, you alright?" you asked, knowing that he had something on his mind.

"Fine." Sam replied, not convincing you at all.

"Sam." you said, pausing a moment, hoping that he would speak up.

"Really Y/N, I'm fine. I'm just tired." he lied as he looked down at his duffel bag. "I just needed a little break."

"John got you doing research?" you asked, even though you already knew the answer.

"Yeah." Sam answered as he pulled a notebook from the bottom of his duffel.

"What've ya got so far?" you asked, still thinking that there was something more on his mind. "Sam?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, not sure yet. Dad and Dean are lookin' at the body now." Sam said as he flipped open the notebook and looked at some of the college brochures he had tucked inside, the line silent for a few minutes as you waited for him to speak again. "Hey Y/N, you ever think about..." Sam started, going quiet again before finishing his sentence.

"Ever think about what?" you asked, wanting him to continue.

"It's nothing, nevermind." Sam breathed out.

"Sam." you said, wanting to know what was bothering him.

"You ever think about getting out? About....I don't know, having a normal life?" Sam finally asked, you pausing a moment as you tried to think of what to say.

"Define normal." you said, Sam sighing at your less than serious approach. "Fine. When I was younger I thought about it. Remember how we'd talk about all the shit we were gonna do? But, I...I don't know, Sam. It's just not realistic anymore, you know? I mean, do you really think either one of us could just be some normal fuckin' persin with everything we know? Besides, I don't really think I'm cut out for it. I mean, could you really see me living some normal, picket fence, nine to five life?"

"Maybe you're right. I just....I." Sam said, stopping short.

"Sam, it shouldn't matter what I say. Is that what you want? Do you want out?" you asked, Sam sighing on the other end.

"I...I don't know. Sometimes." he said, pausing a moment. "I don't think I can do this for the rest of my life, but-" he tried, you interrupting.

"But nothing. If you don't want to hunt, Sam, don't hunt." you said as if it was the most simple simple thing ever.

"Yeah, cause that's gonna go over great with Dad." Sam fired back, you letting out a slow breath.

"Look, Sam...nobody can tell you what to do with your life but you. I can't tell you, neither can Dean or JOHN. It's your life, and it's your fuckin' choice. I know that there isn't anything you can do about it right now, but if you still want out when the times comes then there is nothing anyone can do about that but you." you said, your tone a little harsher than you meant it.

"Yeah, I better get back to this. I'm sure they won't be gone much longer." Sam said, making you feel guilty.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I just...I want you to be happy, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta think about yourself, and not worry about what everyone else is gonna think." you said, Sam quiet for a moment.

"I think I'm just frustrated. It was just...just a crazy idea. I didn't mean anything by it." Sam said, you knowing that there was no truth behind it.

"Yeah, okay. But, Sam, if it wasn't just a crazy idea...I hope you know that I would be there for you. No matter what you decide, I'll always be here. You can't get rid of me, Sammy." you said, wanting to end things on a better note.

"I don't think I could get rid of you if I tried." Sam teased, chuckling to himself.

"You're God damn right about that. Call me back if you need anything." you said, pausing a moment, trying to think of something to say to make him laugh. "I mean, we both know that I'm the superior researcher." you added, Sam barking out a laugh.

"Sure you didn't hit your head on that hunt?" he asked, a smile sliding onto your face. "I'll call you soon."

"You better." you said, not wanting to get off of the phone with him, but knowing that he had things to do. "Bye, Sammy."

"Bye, Y/N" Sam said, feeling the same way you did, quickly hanging up the phone before either of you could say anything else.

Sam looked down at the brochures in his lap and quickly placed them back in the notebook before shoving the notebook to the bottom of his bag, making sure that it was completely hidden under his clothes. Sam knew that there was no point in bringing them up to you. You had more or less made up your mind about what your life was going to be, but part of him still hoped that maybe one day you would change it.

Sam always knew that he didn't want to live that sort of life. He always yearned for something normal, something safe. He knew that his father would never leave the life. He was in far too deep, far too obsessed with his revenge mission. He had no illusions that his brother would ever leave either. Dean was following directly in John's footsteps.

You were his last hope. The two of you had always done everything together for as far back as he could remember, and the conversation that the two of you just had left a bad taste in his mouth. As bad as he wanted to start a new, normal life, he didn't want to do it alone. He wanted you with him, but deep down he knew that it just wasn't going to happen.

You were made for that life. It was in your blood, and he knew that you'd never leave it behind. Sam knew that he would be the one doing the leaving, and he knew that when the time came he would have to do it without looking back.

Sam swung his legs off the side of the bed, and grabbed John's phone before standing up. He tossed the phone into his bag before walking to the door and stepping out into the hall. He looked at your closed bedroom door and thought about just walking by, but with everything that had been going on he honestly didn't want to be alone.

He stopped in front of your door and raised his fist to knock, trying to be as quiet as he could, "Y/N." he softly said, waiting for you to respond.

After a few moments Sam cracked open your bedroom door and peaked inside, "Y/N, it's me." he said before noticing that you weren't there.

He eased the door shut before heading for the stairs. He tried to be as quiet as he could, taking extra precaution to avoid the squeaky step. He could hear the TV and hoped that you and Dean were still up.

"Guys?" he called out before he made it into the living room.

Once again Sam got no response, and simply decided that the two of you must have fallen asleep with the TV on. That changed when he saw you sitting on the end of the couch. He noticed that you were staring blankly ahead, one of your legs bouncing up and down as if you were anxious.

"Y/N?" Sam called out, coming to a stop by the arm of the couch. "Y/N?" he tried again when he didn't get an answer.

Sam watched as you slowly turned your head and looked in his direction. He couldn't quite read the expression on your face, but he found himself growing a little uneasy. You looked so on edge, and he quickly took a step back.

"Hey..." he started, pausing a moment, watching you closely. "Have you...uh, have you seen Dean?"

"I'm not your brother's fuckin' keeper." you spat, Sam instantly shrinking back.

"I'm...I didn't mean-" Sam started, you quickly cutting him off.

"Fuck." you breathed out, running your hands through your hair. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to...You didn't deserve that. I just...I'm..." you said, trailing off.

"No, I get it. Everything is a little tense. It's okay." Sam said, his forgiving attitude making you more angry.

"God dam it. No, it's not. Nothing about any of this is okay, Sam. I don't just get free reign to be an asshole!" you snapped, closing your journal and tossing it aside. "You should just-" you tried to say, Sam interrupting.

"Since when is being an asshole out of the ordinary for you?" Sam asked, trying to lighten the mood, rendering you speechless for a moment.

"Can't you just get pissed off and yell at me like a fuckin' normal person?" you asked, Sam sighing as he shook his head.

"What would that solve?" he asked as he took a seat next to you.

"I don't know. Hell, it might make you feel better. You know, giving me a taste of my own medicine." you said, trying your best to calm down.

"Does that really work for you? Do you ever really feel better?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"Sometimes." you said, leaning your head back against the couch.

"Look, you were obviously in the middle of something, and I interrupted." Sam said, you scoffing.

"Don't make excuses for me, Sam. Call it like it really is. I'm a fucking asshole." you said, looking over to him.

"Like it is, huh?" Sam asked, you nodding. "Alright, I think that you are doing everything in your power to avoid dealing with things. Dean, too. You are both so in your heads, and neither one of you will do what needs to be done."

"Yeah, what's that? What need to be done?" you asked, a little defensively.

"We need to TALK about things! We need to sit down and try to put all of the pieces together." Sam said, you rolling your eyes as you let out an annoyed huff.

"Don't go all after school special on me, Sam. Some big group therapy session isn't going to change a God damn thing." you shot back, Sam beginning to get frustrated.

"Yeah, cause sitting here doing what we've been doing is really helping." Sam argued, both of you staring each other down.

"What do you want to hear, Sam? What the fuck do you want me to say?" you asked, trying to keep your temper under control.

"ANYTHING, Y/N! Anything would be better than what you're doing now." Sam shot back.

"Fine." you said, keeping eye contact with him. "I don't know what to fucking do, Sam. I can't even fathom where to start. Nothing I do or say is gonna change what happened. I can't fix any of this. I can't help you. I sure as fuck can't help Dean. I can't even help my fuckin' self. I don't know what happened to me, Sam. I can't remember, but I know that this is my fault. I know that I am the one to blame for all of this."

"What does that mean? What's your fault?" Sam asked, his expression softening.

"Everything, Sam." you said, your voice breaking. "If I wasn't here...John would be."

"You don't know that." Sam said, the sound of a door opening and closing stopping him from saying more.

The two of you listened as Dean made his way to the stairs. He didn't acknowledge you or Sam, his heavy steps on the stairs intermingling with the low mumble of the television. You and Sam sat there in silence as the sounds of Dean's footsteps started to fade.

"Y/N, we need to talk about this, and Dean does too." Sam finally said as you stood up from the couch.

"One existential crisis at a time, Sam. We'll talk tomorrow." you said, completely drained.

Sam studied you for a moment before slowly nodding his head, "Yeah." he sighed, knowing that you would make up an excuse to avoid it.

"Get some sleep, Sam." you said before leaving the room and heading towards the kitchen.

You were seated at the kitchen table, one finger lazily circling the condensation ring left behind by your now empty beer. You made it a point to only drink one, knowing that Dean would want the rest of the six pack. Sam had gone to bed about thirty minutes ago, and you finally forced yourself to stand up from your spot.

You made your way back to the couch and plopped down on the middle cushion, grabbing one of the worn throw pillows and tucking it under your head as you pulled your legs up and laid down. You grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned the volume down a little on the television, keeping it barely audible. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on the infomercial dialogue, trying your best to clear your mind of everything. You finally managed to fall asleep only to be pulled awake a couple of hours later by the sound of someone rummaging around in the kitchen.

You quickly sat up and found yourself searching for a weapon in your half asleep state. A mumbled string of curse words set your mind at ease and you stopped your search, recognizing the voice and realizing that you were in no danger. You slowly stood up and made your way towards the kitchen, stopping to lean against the doorframe once you got there.

"Top shelf...towards the right." you said, Dean's back to you as he searched the cabinets.

You knew what he was searching for, the empty beer bottles on the table letting you know that he was after something a little stronger. You watched as he found the bottle and turned so that he was leaning against the counter, facing you. He unscrewed the cap and tossed it to the side, sending it sliding down the counter before raising the bottle to his lips.

You couldn't help but think back to the night that he showed up to tell you about Sam. The positions the two of you were in mirrored the ones from that night, but so many things had changed since then. The two of you almost looked like completely different people, both of you seeing more things in that short amount of time than most people would see in an entire lifetime.

"At least I don't have a gun this time." you said, echoing back to that night, hoping that Dean would know what you were talking about.

"Or a douche bag hiding out in your room." Dean shot back, referring to Jake, the corner of your mouth turning up.

"Nah, he's just hiding out in the kitchen this time." you said, Dean huffing out a laugh.

The two of you slipped into silence, neither one of you sure of what to say next. You could feel his eyes on you, and you forced yourself to look up and meet them. Dean opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, his eyes darting to the bottle in his hand.

"You, uh, you should try to get some rest." you finally said before turning to head back to the couch, Dean watching you go without saying anything.

You had tucked yourself into the corner of the couch, your legs drawn up underneath you, your elbow on the armrest of the couch, your head cradled in your hand. You could still hear Dean in the kitchen. It almost sounded like he was pacing back and forth, his footsteps growing louder before fading away, the process continuing over and over. You thought about calling out to him, the sudden stopping of his footsteps causing you to stop and listen. Suddenly, his footsteps started back up, and you could tell that he was headed in your direction.

"Want some company?" Dean asked as he walked into the room, raising the bottle in his hand and giving it a little shake.

"I never say no to a drink." you replied as you looked up at him, Dean looking somewhat relieved as he made his way to the couch.

"You and Sam figure anything out?" Dean asked, nodding his heads towards your journal on the coffee table before passing you the bottle.

"No." you said, taking the bottle from him and raising it to your lips, Dean leaning his head back against the couch.

"He grill you too?" he asked, not looking at you.

"I deserved worse than I got." you said before taking one more drink, Dean holding out his hand for the bottle. "I fuckin' snapped, and I just wanted him to get mad. I wanted him to fuckin' yell at me, but all he wanted to do was-"

"Talk." Dean finished for you, you giving him a small nod. "Yeah, I got that speech too. He...he just..."

"That's just Sam." you said, reaching for the bottle. "I gotta say...this way is a little easier." you added, Dean giving you a half smile.

"Drown it out, right?" he sighed, turning to look at you.

"Drown it out." you echoed, the two of you sharing a look before slipping into silence, passing the bottle back and forth.

"Do you...do you remember anything?" Dean finally asked, you looking away from him.

"Not really. I mean, not anything fuckin' useful. I, uh, I...I remember looking for you, and I remember being fuckin' pissed." you said, not able to tell him about the conversation you had with Yellow Eyes.

"Yeah, I remember lookin' for you too, and the, uh, light." Dean said, pausing a moment. "Where'd you go?"

"I...I don't know." you breathed out, Dean nodding slowly. "I keep tryin' to make fuckin' sense of it, but-"

"You can't." Dean finished for you. "I can't either." he added, a distant, defeated look in his eyes.

"Hey." you said, placing a gloved hand just above his knee. "We'll figure it out. Everything...everything is gonna be okay."

"Yeah." Dean said, giving you a sad smile, not believing a word you said, and you couldn't blame him. "Guess we should call it a night."

"Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll take the couch tonight. You take my bed." you said, Bobby making it abundantly clear that there would be no bed sharing.

"No, you take it." Dean said as he propped his feet up on the coffee table, you rolling your eyes. "Couch is fine with me. You drink enough, you can sleep anywhere."

"No point in arguing, De. You're not gonna win." you said, Dean looking at you as he slouched down onto the couch, his head lying back against the back.

"I'm not movin'." he said, closing his eyes. "But, you know, it's technically not a bed, so..." he added, trailing off as he raised his arm, silently inviting you over.

"Well, since you're gettin' all fuckin' technical on me." you said, scooting over until you were nestled into his side, his arm coming down to wrap around you.

You closed your eyes as you snuggled into his side, the corner of your mouth turning up when you felt him press his lips against the top of your head. You didn't say anything when he lingered, his chest rising as he breathed you in.

"Get some sleep, De." you said, patting his chest, Dean's other hand coming up to rest on yours. "I'll be right here."

You jerked awake, your heart beating wildly in your chest, your breaths short and quick as your eyes darted around the room. You felt Dean shift underneath you, and you tried to match your breathing to his, your hand rising and falling with his chest in a smooth, easy rhythm. You knew that it was just a nightmare, but you also knew that there was no way you would be able to fall back asleep.

You eased yourself out from under Dean's arm, being careful not to wake him, and moved to the edge of the cushion before quickly getting to your feet. You looked over your shoulder at Dean, and stood still for a moment, making sure that he wouldn't wake up. Once you were certain that he wouldn't wake up you grabbed the whiskey bottle from the coffee table and crept from the room.

You had finally made it outside, and allowed yourself to let out of sigh of relief. You had no idea what time it was, but you knew it was early morning. The sky was starting to lighten, the sun beginning to peak over the horizon, setting the sky ablaze with brilliant shades of orange, pink, and red. You couldn't remember the last time you had watched the sunrise. In fact, you weren't entirely sure that you had ever taken the time to actually appreciate it. Honestly, it had never been on your list of priorities and as pretty as it was, you couldn't say that it topped your list now.

There were far too many other things on your mind, and you thought that if you just kept walking you could leave them all behind. So, that's what you did. You walked. You walked up and down the haphazard rows of broken down vehicles, your fingers wrapped loosely around the neck of the whiskey bottle that dangled at your side. But, no matter how many trips you took up and down the rows the thoughts that you were so desperate to outrun always seemed to be just one step behind. They were still there, taunting you, letting you know that no amount of running would suffice.

You stopped in your tracks and looked over at the beaten up, old Lincoln on your left. You curled your fingers tighter around the neck of the whiskey bottle and climbed up onto the hood, leaving your legs dangling freely over the edge. If running wasn't going to work, you had the next best thing. After all, drowning everything out would be much easier. There was far less work in that solution. Just as you raised the bottle to your lips you heard the crunch of footsteps and turned to see Bobby walking towards you.

"Glad you finally stopped. I didn't know how much longer I could keep up." Bobby said, stopping a couple of feet in front of the car.

"You've been following me the whole time?" you asked, a little shocked that you didn't pick up on his presence, Bobby giving you a subtle nod.

"Maybe if you laid off the sauce you woulda known." he said, gesturing towards the bottle.

"Yeah...maybe, but where's the fun in that?" you asked before taking a drink.

"Doesn't look like fun to me, Kid." Bobby said, coming to lean against the hood next to you.

"Yeah, what's it look like then?" you asked, a little defensively, Bobby pausing a moment before turning to look at you.

"It looks like you're runnin', or tryin' to at least." Bobby said, causing you to scoff. "I know you're going through it right now, Kid."

"You read minds now, too?" you asked, anger starting to boil up again.

"No." Bobby said, trying to choose his next words carefully. "But, there ain't many things you can hide from me."

"Yeah, you're good enough at that for the both of us." you snapped back, Bobby's posture going ridgid, "What? Nothin' to say now?"

"I did what I had to do to keep you safe." Bobby said, his response exasperating you.

"From what?!" you yelled, Bobby looking over at you.

"From everything." he returned. "That was my job, and I did what I had to do."

"That doesn't fuckin' tell me anything." you snapped, your grip on the bottle tightening.

"I know." Bobby said, looking down at his feet. "But, that's why I'm out here, Kid. You ask, and I'll tell you what I know."

"Just like that?" you asked, Bobby looking back at you.

"Just like that." he echoed, trying to prepare himself for your questions, watching as you looked away from him, the bottle still clutched tightly in your hand.

"Who...who were they?" you quietly asked. "My parents."

"Your father was a hunter, a good one. James McKenzie. I worked a few cases with him in the early days. I met him though Rufus." Bobby explained, you still looking away from him.

"And her?" you asked, Bobby taking a deep breath.

"I don't know. You gotta understand, Kid...I didn't keep in regular contact with him. He never mentioned anyone, not even the night he showed up with you. I tried to track down what I could. Rufus did too, but we never got anything solid. It was all just through the grapevine bullshit. Some said that she was in the life too, and...and-" Bobby tried, you cutting him off.

"And, it ended like it fuckin' always does. Bloody." you said, Bobby remaining quiet for a moment.

"I can't say for sure." Bobby sighed. "I looked for him too, but I couldn't find anything. It was like he just...disappeared. I kept up the search until..."

"Until?" you asked, finally looking over at him.

"Until it got too dangerous to continue it. You were about four, maybe five." Bobby started, seeming reluctant to continue. "You...you just...you knew things, Kid, and it was stuff you had no way of knowin'. "he said, waiting for you to respond.

"What the fuck does that mean?" you asked, your heart starting to pound.

"It means that...it means..." Bobby started, trailing off before he could finish his thought.

"It means what? What the fuck does it mean?!" you yelled, throwing the bottle, watching as it shattered against a car across from you.

"You would pick up on things, say things that you couldn't know. Things...things that I was thinking, and then there were the dreams." Bobby said, you getting up from the car to pace.

"Dreams?" you asked, pacing back and forth.

"Doctors said they were just night terrors, but they weren't.""Bobby said, his answer rather vague.

"How did you know?" you asked, still pacing.

"I just did." he said, you whipping to face him.

"So, not only did you lie about who I was, but you lied about what I could do, too?" you asked, speaking again before Bobby had a chance to answer. "And, you can't say that you never had the chance to tell me. I called you. I called you, and I told you that I thought something was wrong with me. And, what did you do? You fuckin' lied! You told me that I was fine!"

"You know that people don't always take kindly to what they don't understand. Especially in this business. They would have shot first and asked questions later." Bobby said, you starting to pace again.

"So, you're telling me that you kept everything quiet 'cause you didn't want some hunter findin' out? Scared they were gonna shoot the freak?!" you yelled, Bobby shaking his head.

"Kid, you're not a-" he started, you quickly cutting him off.

"What? Not a freak? Not some sort of fuckin' monster?!" you asked, pulling the glove off of your right hand, the ball of light quickly forming before you sent it crashing into the car across from you, the glass shattering and the metal denting. "Does that look fuckin' human to you?"

"A parent does what they have to do to protect their child." Bobby said, you shaking your head.

"I'm not your kid! Don't you see that everyone would have been a lot better off if you would've just thrown me to the fuckin' wolves all those years ago? I mean, I've been fucking shit up since I was born." you said, a quizzical expression on Bobby's face.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, frustration seeping through.

"It's my fault that my parents are gone. And, who's to say that there's not a trail after them? I mean, you said so yourself. You did what you had to do to keep me safe, to keep everything under wraps." you said, Bobby looking at you a moment before speaking.

"None of that's on you." he said, you huffing out an annoyed laugh.

"It is. I may not have known, but it is. And, then there's John." you said, fixing Bobby with a cold stare.

"John?" Bobby asked, you nodding.

"I don't remember everything that happened, but I remember that. He's gone because of me. If he wouldn't have made the deal for me, then he'd still be here. So, how can you stand there and tell me that everyone is better off with me here?" you asked, your voice cracking a little.

"You can't blame yourself for John's decision. He knew what he was doing, and you don't get to make decisions for everyone else." Bobby said, you interrupting.

"I'm not-" you tried to say, Bobby cutting you off.

"No, you're gonna listen. You say that everyone would be better off if you were gone, but that's bullshit. You think those boys would be better off?" Bobby started, you quickly cutting him off.

"Of course I do! They lost their fucking father because of me!!" you yelled, Bobby shaking his head.

"Family doesn't end with blood, Kid. Those boys would be lost without you, and so would I. I...I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of, things that haunt me to this day, but you are the one thing that I'm proud of. Hell, you're the reason I'm still going, Kid, and I wouldn't change a thing. I'd do all of it over again, the same exact way if it meant that you were safe."

"But-" you tried to say, Bobby speaking up before you could say anything.

"You listen to me. I may not have made ya, but you're mine. I'm not going anywhere. A parent is there for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And, right now it's pretty God damn ugly, but we're gonna figure all this out, together. Now, you can be mad all you want. I can understand that, but you don't get to check out on me. And, you ain't gettin' rid of me. Cause even if you don't want me to, I'm gonna be there. Ya' got that, Kid?" Bobby asked, you looking at him with teary eyes, waiting a minute before speaking.

"Yeah, I, uh, I got it." you said, trying not to cry, Bobby closing the gap between the two of you to pull you into a hug.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Kid." he said, holding you tightly. "I promise."

Dean was back underneath the Impala, only his legs visible from beneath the frame. He spent all of his time working on it, and although it was little more than a rusted frame, it looked considerably less crushed than it did.

"How's the car coming along?" Sam asked as he approached.

"Slow." Dean said, his reply short.

"Yeah? Need any help?" Sam asked, Dean dropping something heavily.

"What, you under a hood? I'll pass. I'd rather have Singer under here." Dean said, Sam pausing a moment before speaking.

"Need anything else, then?" Sam asked, Dean pushing himself out from under the car and getting to his feet.

"Stop it, Sam." Dean warned, Sam looking a little taken aback.

"Stop what?" Sam asked, Dean shaking his head.

"Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm okay. I'm okay. Really. I promise." Dean said, Sam slowly nodding, trying to think of a way to make his point without starting a fight. 

"All right, Dean, it's just...We've been at Bobby's for over a week now and you haven't brought up Dad once." Sam said, Dean turning to face him.

"You know what? You're right. Come here. I'm gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance. I swear, you're a bigger girl than Singer. She's not out here pushin' me." Dean said, Sam's frustration starting to show.

"Don't patronize me, Dean. Dad is dead. The Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all of this, and you're acting like nothing happened." Sam said, Dean shaking his head.

"What do you want me to say?" Dean asked.

"Say something, all right. Hell, say anything. Neither one of you have ever had a problem running your mouths before, but now I can't get either one of you to say more than a couple of words. Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car." Sam ranted, his frustration seeping through.

"Revenge, huh?" Dean asked, Sam nodding.

"Yeah." Sam replied, hoping that he'd gotten through to him.

"Sounds good. You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? Because I sure ain't. But, you know, if we do finally find it- oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt's gone. But, I'm sure you've figured out another way to kill it. We've got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So, you know the only thing I can do? I can work on the car." Dean said, crouching down by the car to get back to work.

"Well, we've got something, all right?" Sam said, pulling out a cell phone. "It's what I came by here to tell you. This is one of Dad's old phones. Took me awhile, but I cracked his voicemail code. Listen to this." Sam said as he held out the phone to Dean, who stood and took it reluctantly.

"John, it's Ellen. Again. Look, don't be stubborn. You know I can help you. Call me." the voicemail said, Sam looking to Dean.

"That message is four months old." Sam said, Dean's interests piqued.

"Dad saved that chick's message for four months?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam replied.

"Well, who's Ellen? Any mention of her in Dad's journal?" Dean asked, Sam shaking his head.

"No. But, I ran a trace on her phone number, and I got an address." Sam said, Dean nodding.

"Go tell Singer, and ask Bobby if we can  use one of his cars." Dean instructed, Sam quickly turning to go before Dean could change his mind.

"This is humiliating. I feel like a fuckin' soccer mom!" Dean exclaimed as the three of you got out of the beat up, poorly maintained minivan that was parked in front of the bar Ellen owned, The Roadhouse.

"It's the only car Bobby had running." Sam said as he looked around the rather empty parking lot. "Hello? Anybody here?"

"So, you know these people?" Dean asked, glancing over at you.

"Yeah, haven't seen 'em in a long time though." you said, adjusting your gun, Dean turning to Sam.

"Hey. You bring the, uh..." he started to ask, Sam nodding.

"Of course." he said, tossing something to Dean before opening the door to go inside.

The Roadhouse was quiet with the exception of a fly buzzing around, "Come on." you said, walking ahead of the two of them, a light bulb suddenly blowing, leaving the bar a little darker than it was.

The three of you came upon a passed out man, and Sam looked down at him, "Hey, buddy?" he asked, pausing a moment. "I'm guessing that isn't Ellen."

"Yeah." Dean said as Sam went into a back room to look around, leaving you and Dean alone, the two of you walking further into the bar.

"Stop." you said, hearing someone behind you, putting your hand out in front of Dean, the two of you side by side.

"Oh God, please let that be a rifle." Dean said, feeling the point of a gun touch his back.

"Maybe they're just real happy to see us." you said, the gun cocking.

"Don't move." a female warned, you thinking that you recognized the voice, glancing over to Dean and giving him a subtle nod.

"Not moving, copy that. You know, you should know something, miss. When you put a rifle on someone, you don't want to put it right against their back. Because it makes it real easy to do..." Dean said, turning fluidly, grabbing the rifle and cocking it. "That."

You turned just in time to see Dean get punched in the nose, the rifle quickly taken away from him as his hands flew to his nose.

"Easy, Jo." you said, pulling your gun as she pointed the rifle at you.

"I know you?" she asked, the two of you in a standoff.

"Sam! Need some help in here." Dean called out before muttering, "I can't see. Singer, I can't even see."

"I got it handled." you said, Jo taking a step towards you, the rifle now within your reach.

"You sure about that?" Dean asked, still clutching his nose as the back door opened to reveal Sam walking though slowly with both hands on his head, Jo turning her head to look, her finger no longer on the trigger.

"Yeah." you said, grabbing the barrel of the rifle and snatching it from her, Jo looking at you in shock as you passed the gun to Dean.

"Sorry, guys. I can't right now. I'm a...little tied up." Sam said, nodding his head, indicating that there was someone behind him.

"Don't worry, Sammy. We've got it handled." you said before looking over to Dean. "Well, maybe not we. Dean wasn't really much help."

"Sam? Dean? Winchester?" a woman asked, stepping out from behind Sam.

"Yeah." Sam and Dean answered in unison, looking a little puzzled.

"Son of a bitch." she said, looking over to you, your gun still partially raised.

"Mom, you know these people?" Jo asked, looking to her mother.

"Yeah, I think these are John Winchester's boys." she said lowering her gun, laughing. "And, I'm willing to bet that you're Y/N Singer." she said, looking to you.

"That's right." you said, lowering your gun.

"It's been awhile. You've grown up. How's your daddy?" she asked, Sam and Dean watching her closely.

"Still kicking." you said, Sam and Dean looking between you and the woman, the woman turning her attention back to them.

"I'm Ellen. This is my daughter Jo." she said, Sam and Dean finally relaxing.

"Hey." Jo said, nodding towards her rifle in Dean's hand.

"You're not gonna hit me again, are you?" Dean asked, passing her the gun.

"No, she's not." you said, giving Jo a look before heading towards the bar.

"Here you go." Ellen said, passing Dean a small towel filled with ice.

"Thanks. You called our Dad, said you could help. Help with what?" Dean asked, grimacing as he held the towel to his nose.

"Well, the demon, of course. I heard he was closing in on it." Ellen explained, Dean eyeing her.

"What, was there an article in Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed? I mean, who...who are you? How do you know about all this?" Dean asked, Ellen looking to you.

"You'll have to excuse him." you said, Dean's head whipping to face you, Ellen chuckling.

"Hey, I just run a saloon, but hunters have been known to pass through now and again. Including your dad a long time ago. John was like family once." Ellen explained.

"Oh yeah? How come he never mentioned you before?" Dean asked, still weary of her.

"You'd have to ask him that." Ellen said, you looking down at the bar.

"So, why exactly do we need your help?" Dean asked, getting back on track.

"Hey, don't do me any favors. Look, if you don't want my help, fine. Don't let the door smack your ass on the way out. But, John wouldn't have sent you if..." she said, stopping when you gave her a look, the realization hitting her. "He didn't send you." she said, Dean looking down before glancing over to you and back to Sam. "He's all right, isn't he?"

"No. No, he isn't. It was the demon, we think. It, um, it just got him before he got it, I guess." Sam said, Ellen shaking her head.

"I'm so sorry." she said, giving both boys a sincere look.

"It's okay. We're all right." Dean quickly said, any mention of John making him uncomfortable.

"Really? I know how close you and your dad were." Ellen said, Dean appearing annoyed.

"Ellen." you said, shaking your head, letting her know to drop it.

"Really, lady, I'm fine." he said, Ellen nodding, realizing that it was a sensitive subject.

"So look, if you can help, we could use all the help we can get." Sam said, Ellen looking between the three of you.

"Well, we can't. But, Ash will." Ellen said, a smile sliding onto your face.

"Who's Ash?" Sam asked, confused.

"Ash!" Ellen yelled, the man that was passed out jerking away, flailing as he sat up.

"What? It closin' time?" he asked, looking around the bar.

"That's Ash?" Sam asked as you laughed to yourself.

"MM-hmm. He's a genius." Jo said, both Sam and Dean looking over to her.

You and Sam were sitting on either side of Ash, Dean standing behind the three of you while Jo poured glasses of water on the other side of the bar. Ash was busy staring at you. You could tell that he was trying to figure out how he knew you, a brown folder being slapped down on the bar making him flinch, but not deterring his focus.

"I don't think we've met." Ash said, extending his hand to you.

"I gotta say...I'm a little offended." you teased, the wheels turning in Ash's mind.

"Don't be offended. There's no way I could forget a face like that, or a..." Ash said, trailing off as his eyes roamed down your body, Dean clearing his throat.

"You sure about that, Sugar?" you asked, Ash's eyes lighting up.

"Y/N? Y/N Singer?" he asked, you giving him a wink.

"In the flesh." you said, Ash smiling brightly.

"Well, God damn! I knew you were somethin' by the sound of your voice, but it just doesn't do you justice." Ash said, Dean rolling his eyes.

"You've gotta be kidding me. This guy's no genius. He's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie." Dean said, Ash turning to face him.

"I like you." Ash said, a smile on his face.

"Thanks." Dean said, Jo shaking her head.

"Just give him a chance." Jo said, you nodding.

"He knows his stuff. He's helped me out a few times." you said, Dean looking at you. "Over the phone." you added, Dean coming to sit next to you, moving his stool so that he was basically on top of you before opening the folder.

"All right. This stuff's about a year's worth of our dad's work. So, uh, let's see what you make of it." Dean said, Ash pulling out the papers and rifling through them, shaking his head.

"Come on. This crap ain't real. There ain't nobody can track a demon like this." Ash said, looking up at Dean.

"Our Dad could." Sam said, Ash glancing at him before looking back at the papers.

"There are non-parametrics, statistical overviews, prospects and correlations, I mean...damn! They're signs. Omens. Uh, if you can track 'em, you can track this demon. You know, like crop failures, electrical storms...You ever been struck by lightening? It ain't fun." Ash said, rambling.

"Can you track it or not?" Sam asked, Ash cocking his head to the side.

"Yeah, with this...I think so. But, It's gonna take time, uh, give me...fifty one hours." Ash said, getting up to leave.

"Hey, man?" Dean called out, stopping him.

"Yeah." Ash said, turning to face him.

"I, uh, I did the haircut." Dean said, Ash smiling.

"All business up front, party in the back." Ash said, running his hand over his mullet. "Hey Y/N, could you help me with somethin'?"

"Yeah." you said, getting up from your spot, you and Ash walking off as Jo came out from behind the bar.

Dean watched the two of you closely, his brow furrowing as he watched you laugh at something Ash said. Jo made sure to step into his line of sight, giving him a flirty smile as she gestured for him to follow her. Dean took one last look at you before following after her, leaving Sam alone at the bar.

"Hey, Ellen, what is that?" Sam asked, spotting something behind the bar.

"It's a police scanner. We keep tabs on things, we-" Ellen said, Sam cutting her off.

"No, no, no, no, the, um, the folder." Sam said, nodding towards the folder.

"Uh, I was gonna give this to a friend of mine, but take a look, if you want." Ellen said, taking the folder from its spot and placing it in front of Sam.

"How did your mom get into this stuff, anyway?" Dean asked, him and Jo sitting by the window.

"From my dad. He was a hunter. He passed away." Jo said, Dean letting out a slow breath.

"I'm sorry." he said, Jo waving it off.

"It was a long time ago. I was just a kid. Sorry to hear about your dad." Jo said, Dean slowly nodding, uncomfortable with the subject.

"Yeah." he said, looking over at you and Ash, Jo following his stare.

"So, I guess you've got fifty one hours to waste. Maybe tonight we should..."she said, trailing off, Dean looking over at her. "What?"

"Nothing, just, uh..."Dean said, looking over at you, Jo nodding.

"Gotcha." she said, watching as he stared at you. "You know, at first I thought you might toss me some cheap pickup line." she said, Dean chuckling. "Most hunters come through that door thinking they can get in my pants with some...pizza, a six pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV." she added, Dean smiling to himself when he remembered you throwing out that exact scenario as a date idea.

"Well...what a bunch of scumbags." Dean said, turning to look at her.

"Not you?" Jo asked, glancing over at you before looking back to Dean.

"Not me." Dean said, giving her a tight lipped smile.

"So, whatcha need?" you asked, Ash stopping to turn and face you.

"Uh, well, I..."Ash said, clearing his throat. "How long are you sticking around?"

"You said you needed fifty one hours, so I'd guess that'd be about it." you said, Ash nodding.

"That's it, huh? Well, that's a damn shame." he said, you raising a brow at him.

"Yeah, why's that?" you asked, Ash wiggling his brows at you causing you to laugh.

"Cause we coulda had a damn good time." Ash said, you smiling before glancing back at Dean, who was talking to Jo. "Don't tell me..." Ash said, looking at Dean.

"Yep." you said, Ash sighing.

"Just my luck." he said, you laughing under your breath. "You know he doesn't look so tough. Maybe I could take him." he joked, you laughing again. "Well, uh, that ever goes south, you know who to call."

"You'll be the first one I call." you said, both you and Ash laughing.

"Hey guys, come here." Sam called out. "Check this out." he added, both you and Dean walking back to the bar.

"Yeah." you said, Sam looking up at you.

"A few murders not far from here that Ellen caught wind of. Looks to me like there might be a hunt." Sam said, looking between the two of you.

"Yeah, so?" Dean said, shrugging his shoulders.

"So, I told her we'd check it out." Sam said as he gathered all of the papers back into the folder and stood up.

The three of you were back in the minivan, Dean driving, Sam in the passenger seat, you leaning up from the backseat. The rain was coming down hard, forcing the three of you to speak louder than normal.

"You've gotta be kidding me. A killer clown?" Dean asked, Sam still looking at the research in his lap.

"Well, you just gotta be shittin' bricks right about now." you said, Sam shooting you a dirty look.

"He left the daughter unharmed and killed the parents. Ripped them to pieces, actually." Sam explained.

"And this family was at some carnival that night?" Dean asked, Sam nodding.

"Right, right. The, uh, Cooper Carnival." Sam said, flipping through some of the papers.

"Okay, but how do you know that we're not just dealing with some fuckin' psycho carnie in a clown suit?" you asked, Sam turning in his seat to face you.

"Well, the cops have no viable leads, and all the employees were tearing down shop. Alibis all around. Plus, this girl said she saw a clown vanish into thin air. Cops are saying trauma, of course." Sam explained, Dean looking over at him.

"Well, I know what you're thinking, Sam. Why did it have to be clowns?" Dean said, not hearing your earlier remark.

"Oh, give me a break." Sam said, rolling his eyes, both you and Dean laughing.

"You didn't think we'd remember, did you? I mean, come on, you still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the television." Dean teased, Sam scoffing.

"Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying." Sam said, Dean's eyes going wide.

"Planes crash!" he fired back, Sam turning to you.

"Or small spaces." Sam said, you rolling your eyes.

"Oh, you can fuck right off, Sam. MIne is a much more realistic fear, and you know it.  I mean, what the fuck is so scary about a clown?" you asked, Sam shaking his head.

"Well, apparently clowns kill, Y/N." Sam said, Dean speaking up before the two of you got into a ridiculous argument.

"So, these type of murders, they ever happen before?" Dean asked, Sam looking down at the file.

"Uh, according to the file, 1981, the Bunker Brothers Circus, same M.O.. It happened three times, three different locales." Sam explained, Dean shaking his head.

"It's weird, though. I mean, if it's a spirit it's usually bound to a specific locale. You know, a house, or a town." Dean said, Sam looking to him.

"So, how's this one moving from city to city, carnival to carnival?" Sam asked.

"Cursed object, maybe." you said, Dean nodding.

"Yeah, spirit attaches itself to something and the, uh, carnival carries it around with them." Dean said, Sam sighing.

"Great. Paranormal scavenger hunt." Sam said, closing the file in his lap.

"Tell me about it." you said, leaning back in your seat.

"Well, this case was your idea." Dean said, glancing over to Sam. "By the way, why is that? You were awfully quick to jump on this job."

"So?" Sam said, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's just...not like you, that's all. I thought you were hell bent for leather on the demon hunt." Dean said, you leaning back up, expecting a fight.

"I don't know, I just think, this job, it's what Dad would have wanted us to do." Sam said, you looking between the two of them, gauging the situation.

"What Dad would have wanted?" Dean asked, you looking over to him.

"De." you warned, giving him a look.

"Yeah, so?" Sam asked, Dean glancing at you before turning his attention back to the road.

"Nothin'." Dean clipped out, you leaning into your seat with a sigh.

The minivan squeaked to a stop outside of the carnival, and the three of you climbed out. You leaned against the side of the van, watching as what appeared to be detectives talked to some of the carnies.

"Check it out, Five-oh." Dean said, nodding his head in their direction.

"You got it?" you asked, Dean nodding before walking off towards the carnies, trying to get what facts he could.

Both you and Sam ventured closer to the carnival grounds, Sam shoving his hands in his pockets as the two of you subtly looked around. You turned your head just in time to see a woman, who was about three feet tall, in a clown outfit approaching. You looked up at Sam and tried to hide your smile. He was staring at her nervously as she walked by, his posture rigid as he tried to keep his cool.

"Did you get her number?" Dean asked as he approached the two of you, Sam scowling at the question.

"More murders?" Sam asked, Dean nodding.

"Two more last night. Apparently, they were ripped to shreds, and they had a little boy with them." Dean explained, both you and Sam listening closely.

"Who fingered a clown." Sam said, you snorting out a laugh, Dean pausing and giving him a weird look.

"Sounds pretty kinky if you ask me." you said, not able to keep a straight face, Sam giving you a completely done look, Dean chuckling.

"Really, Y/N?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"What? You said it." you said, Dean shaking his head, trying not to smile.

"Alright, back on track." Dean said, Sam looking at him to continue. "Yeah, the kid saw a clown, who apparently vanished into thin air."

"Guys, you know, looking for a cursed object is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles. They could be anything." Sam said, you sighing.

"And we don't even fuckin' know if that's what we're dealing with for sure." you said, Sam nodding in agreement.

"Well, if it's a cursed object then, it's bound to give off EMF, so we'll just have to scan everything." Dean said, Sam giving him a look.

"Oh, good, that's nice and...inconspicuous." Sam sarcastically said, you looking over to him.

"You got a better idea?" you asked, Dean spotting something nearby.

"I guess we'll just have to blend in." Dean said, nodding his head towards a "Help Wanted" sign.

"Excuse me, we're looking for a Mr. Cooper, have you seen him around?" Dean asked, the three of you stepping into the tent of a man throwing knives at a target, all the knives landing near but not quite on the bullseye.

"What is that, some kind of joke?" the man asked, pulling off his sunglasses to reveal that he was blind.

"Oh, God, I'm, I'm sorry." Dean said, embarrassed by his blunder.

"You think I wouldn't give my eyeteeth to see Mr. Cooper? Or a sunset, or anything at all?" the man asked, Dean looking to you and Sam for help.

"Wanna give me a little help here?" Dean quietly asked the two of you.

"Not really." Sam said, you quickly jumping in.

"You're doin' great." you said, giving him the okay signal with your hand.

"Hey man, is there a problem?" someone asked, Dean turning, then looking down to see an extremely short man in a red cape.

"Yeah, this guy hates blind people." the blind man said, Dean shaking his head.

"No, I don't. I-" Dean tried to explain, the short man cutting him off.

"Hey buddy, what's your problem?" he asked, looking up at Dean.

"Nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding." Dean said, you grabbing onto his arm, catching his mistake.

"Little?! You son of a bitch!" the short man yelled, Dean's eyes going wide.

"No, no, no, no! I'm just, could somebody tell me where Mr. Cooper is?" Dean asked, both you and Sam laughing. "Please?"

"You kids picked a hell of a time to join up. Take a seat." Mr. Cooper said as the three of you walked into his office. "Sorry about the lack of chairs."

"No problem." you said, giving him a friendly smile, Dean looking at the available chairs.

One of the chairs was normal, the other was pink with a giant clown face on it. Dean quickly beat Sam to the normal chair, and pulled you so that you basically fell into his lap. Sam scowled, and fidgeted before sitting gingerly in the clown chair, giving you and Dean one final dirty look before composing himself.

"We've got all kinds of local trouble." Mr. Cooper said once the three of you had settled.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, you shifting so that he could see Mr. Cooper.

"Oh, a couple of folks got themselves murdered. Cops always seem to start here first. So, you three ever worked the circuit before?" Mr. Cooper asked, looking between the three of you.

"Yes sir, last year through Texas and Arkansas." Sam said, both you and Dean nodding.

"Yeah." the two of you said in unison.

"Doing what? Ride jockeys? Butcher? ANS Men?" Mr. Cooper asked before turning to you. "Surely they had a looker like you doin' something special."

"Oh yeah, I....they always saved me for the good stuff." you said, Sam quickly jumping in.

"Yeah, it's, uh, little bit of everything, I guess." Sam said, Mr. Cooper studying the three of you closely.

"You three have never worked a show in your lives before, have you?" Cooper asked, you letting out a slow breath.

"Nope. But we really need the work. Oh, and uh, Sam here's got a thing for the bearded lady." Dean joked, Sam shooting him a look.

"You see that picture? That's my daddy." Mr. Cooper said, pointing out an old black and white photo.

"You look just like him." Sam said, you looking at the photo a little longer before turning to Mr. Cooper.

"You really do." you said, thinking that they looked like the same person.

"He was in the business. Ran a freakshow. Till they outlawed them, most places. Apparently displaying the deformed isn't dignified. So, most of the performers went from honest work to rotting in hospitals and asylums. That's progress, I guess. You see, this place, it's a refuge for outcasts. Always has been, for folks that don't fit in nowhere else. But, you three? You should go to school. Find a partner, have 2.5 kids. Live regular." Mr. Cooper said, Dean opening his mouth to speak, Sam leaning forward, his eyes serious.

"Sir, we don't want to go to school. And we don't want regular. We want this." Sam said, both you and Dean looking at him a little shocked.

"Huh." Dean said, once the three of you had walked out of Mr. Cooper's office.

"What?" Sam asked, Dean pausing a moment before speaking.

"That whole, uh, I don't want to go back to school thing. Were you just saying that to Cooper or were you, you know, saying it?" Dean asked, both you and him watching Sam closely.

"Sam?" you asked, when he didn't answer.

"I don't know." Sam said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You don't know? I thought that once the demon was dead and the fat lady sings that you were gonna take off, head back to Wussy State. You know, leave all the work to me and Singer." Dean said, you elbowing him.

"I'm having second thoughts." Sam said, shocking you a little.

"Really?" you asked, Sam nodding.

"Yeah. I think...Dad would have wanted me to stick with the job." Sam said, Dean giving him a look.

"Since when do you give a damn what Dad wanted? You spent half your life doing exactly what he didn't want, Sam." Dean said, you whipping to face him.

"Dean!" you barked, Dean looking down at you.

"What? You know it's true." Dean said, you shaking your head.

"Since he died, okay? Do you have a problem with that?" Sam asked, looking at Dean, Dean finally turning to face him.

"Naw, I don't have a problem at all." Dean said, shaking his head as he walked off.

Sam, clad in a red "Cooper Carnival" jacket was picking up trash while surreptitiously scanning with the EMF meter. He walked up to the fun house and looked around before walking inside, still scanning. Suddenly, a skeleton fell from the ceiling, and Sam scanned it. The EMF meter didn't react, but Sam did get an idea.

Dean was wearing a similar red uniform jacket and picking up trash to put in the dumpster when his cell phone rang.

"Hello." Dean said.

"Hey, man." Sam said, Dean still looking around for trash.

"What's the matter? You sound like you just saw a clown." Dean teased, Sam huffing out a breath.

"Very funny. Skeleton, actually." Sam said.

"Like a real human skeleton?" Dean asked, thinking that it could be what the three of you were searching for.

"In the fun house. Listen, I was thinking. What if the spirit isn't attached to a cursed object? What if it's attached to its own remains?" Sam asked, on the same page as Dean.

"Did the bones give off EMF?" Dean asked.

"Well, no, but-" Sam started, Dean cutting him off.

"We should check it out anyway. I'm gonna grab Singer, then we'll head to you." Dean said, hanging up the phone, the blind man from earlier grabbing his arm.

"What are you doing here, kid?" the blind man asked, Dean thrown off by his sudden appearance.

"I'm...I was just sweeping." Dean said, the blind man not convinced.

"Bull. And, what were you talking about? Skeletons? What's EMF?" the blind man asked, rattling off rapid fire questions.

"Dude, your blind man hearing is out of control." Dean said, shocked that he overheard everything.

"We're a tight knit group. We don't like outsiders. We take care of our own problems." the blind man said, a little threateningly.

"We got a problem?" Dean asked, watching the man closely.

"You tell me. You're the one talking about human bones." the blind man said, Dean racing to come up with an explanation.

"Do you believe in ghosts?" Dean blurted out.

"What?" the blind man asked, thrown off by the question.

"My brother, my girlfriend, and me...umm. We're writing a book about them." Dean said before quickly excusing himself to find you.

Dean had tried calling your phone a couple of times, each call going straight to voicemail. He walked around the grounds until he came upon the Strongman's tent. Mr. Cooper had given you the job of his assistant, and Dean could tell that the two of you were in the middle of a show, the crowd's applause and cheering ringing out from the tent.

Dean stepped through the opening and stood at the back of the crowd, watching as you walked around the strongman, showcasing him like a model would a prize on The Price is Right. This was the strongman's act, but Dean couldn't help but notice that most eyes were on you.

You always did have a habit of turning heads, but the skin tight, barely there crop top and skimpy shorts that left little to the audience's imagination certainly wasn't helping. Dean shrugged off his red jacket, dead set on covering you up the second you were off stage, and watched as the strongman prepared for the final act of the show.

Dean watched the strongman get down on one knee in the center of the stage, and hold out a hand to you. You circled around him before coming to a stop at his side, facing towards the crowd. The strongman turned the hand closest to you palm side up, his arm bent at the elbow, and you eased yourself down until you were sitting on his hand. With one fluid motion the strongman stood up, using his free hand to hold onto your hand to help balance you. With a nod of his head the strongman fully extended his arms, and the crowd went wild as he balanced you above his head.

Even though you had a bright smile plastered on your face Dean could tell that you were about two seconds away from losing your cool. Dean tossed his jacket on the back of one of the empty chairs and pushed his way to the stage, the corner of his mouth turning up when he saw how relieved you were to see him.

"Ivan, down." you said, the strongman looking up at you. "Pryamo seychas, mudak." you spat, Dean looking at you in confusion as Ivan quickly put you down.

As soon as your feet hit the stage you were whipping around to face Ivan, who was backing up with his hands up. Dean quickly jumped up on the stage and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you back towards him.

"Come on, Singer." Dean said as you struggled in his hold.

"No, no, no. That fucker has it comin'. Not only did I have to deal with his fuckin' hand up my God damn ass all day, but my gloves weren't worthy of the costume." you said, Dean walking you back to the edge of the stage. "I could hear everything. He's lucky most of it was in Russian, or I probably would have bashed his God damn brains in." you added, Dean huffing out a laugh.

"Want me to go knock the guy on his ass?" Dean asked, still holding onto you, your fists clenched to keep from touching him.

"All I'm gonna say is that if you don't get me outta here we're gonna have another body on our hands." you said, Dean releasing you before walking down the steps.

"Let's go then. Sam thinks he may have something." Dean said as the two of you walked to the back of the tent, Dean grabbing his discarded jacket off the back of the chair and draping it over your shoulders.

"What'd you say back there, anyway?" Dean asked as the two of you walked out of the tent.

"Called him an asshole." you said, pulling the jacket closed around you.

"You speak Russian?" Dean asked, one brow raised.

"I picked up a few words from dumb ass back there, but I'm pretty fluent in curse words in most languages." you said, Dean chuckling as the two of you walked to meet Sam.

"What took you guys so long?" Sam asked, looking between you and Dean.

"You don't wanna know." you sighed, Dean nodding.

"Yeah, long story." Dean said, Sam shaking his head in frustration.

"Mommy, look at that clown!" a little girl shouted, the three of you looking over to see a little girl pointing at nothing.

"What clown?" the child's mother asked. "Come on sweetie, Come on." she said before pulling the little girl away, the three of you sharing a look, knowing that you had the next targets.

"I cannot believe the two of you told Papazian about the homicidal phantom clown." Sam said, the three of you on stakeout outside the family from the carnivals home.

"It's not like we sought him out. We bumped into him on our way to meet you, and he started asking questions. We had to tell him something." you said, leaning up from the backseat.

"And that's what you came up with?" Sam asked, you rolling your eyes.

"Look, we told him an urban legend about a homicidal phantom clown. We never said it was real." Dean said as he pulled out his gun and cocked it, Sam grabbing at it, pushing Dean's hands down.

"Keep that down!" Sam scolded, afraid that someone would see.

"Relax, nobody can fuckin' see anything." you said, Dean speaking up before Sam could say anything to you.

"Oh, and get this. We mentioned the Bunker Brother's Circus in '81 and their uh, evil clown apocalypse. Guess what." Dean said, Sam paying close attention.

"What?" Sam asked, anxious for Dean to continue.

"Before Mr. Cooper owned Cooper Carnival, he worked for Bunker Brothers. He was their lot manager." you explained, Sam nodding.

"So, you think whatever the spirit's attached to, Cooper just brought it with him?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"Something like that. It's the best we could come up with for now." you said, Dean shaking his head and sighing.

"I can't believe we keep talking about clowns." he said, you laughing under your breath as you leaned back in your seat, Dean closing his eyes.

Dean was dozing in the front seat when a light flicked on in the family's dining room, both you and Sam jumping to attention. Sam quickly shook Dean awake while you opened the bag next to you and started pulling out weapons. The three of you quickly exited the vehicle and rushed to the house, dead set on getting inside before the spirit did.

The three of you were hiding in wait, weapons at the ready as the little girl started to lead the clown down the hallway, "Wanna see Mommy and Daddy? They're upstairs." the little girl said, Sam leaping out and grabbing the girl, who started to scream.

Dean fired off a shot and hit the clown in the chest, the clown falling on it's back. You held your gun on him and quickly fired off another shot when he started to get back up.

"What the fuck?" you asked, the clown getting to his feet as both you and Dean tried to rack in another round.

"Sam, watch out!" Dean yelled, the clown leaping out the window, turning invisible as it ran away, the girl's parents rushing into the room.

"What's going on here? Get away from my-" the girl's father started, the mother quickly jumping in.

"Oh my God! What are you doing to my daughter?!" the mother asked, a horrified look on her face.

"Who the hell are you? Get out! Get out of my house!" the father yelled, the three of you running away as fast as you possibly could.

Dean pulled the minivan off the side of the road and put it in park. The three of you climbed out and started to dig out all of your belongings, Dean stopping to take the license plates as well.

"You really think they saw our plates?" Sam asked, watching as Dean tucked the plates into his bag.

"Not worth the chance." you said, hitching your bag up on your shoulder, Dean nodding in agreement.

"Besides, I hate this fuckin' thing anyway." Dean said, the three of you starting to walk down the road. "Well, one thing's for sure."

"What's that?" Sam asked, looking over to Dean.

"We're not dealing with a spirit." Dean said, you nodding.

"Yeah, that rock salt hit something fuckin' solid." you said, Sam looking to you.

"Yeah, a person? Or maybe a creature that can make itself invisible?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"Yeah, and dresses up like a clown for kicks? Did it say anything in Dad's journal?" Dean asked, Sam shaking his head.

"Nope." Sam replied, clearing his throat and pulling out his phone.

"Who are you calling?" Dean asked, nodding towards Sam's phone.

"Maybe Ellen or that guy Ash will know something." Sam said.

"They'll definitely be able to narrow it down and give us a direction to go in." you said, Sam pausing in the middle of dialing the number.

"Hey, you guys think, uh, you guys think Dad and Ellen ever had a thing?" Sam asked, looking between you and Dean.

"No way." Dean said, shaking his head.

"Then, why didn't he tell us about her?" Sam asked.

"I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean, I knew her and never said anything. It just never came up. You don't gotta tell people every single fucking person you know." you said, Sam shaking his head.

"But, she said he was like family once. I just think it's a little weird that he never mentioned her." Sam said.

"I don't know, maybe they had some sort of falling out." Dean said, Sam looking down at his feet.

"Yeah, you guys ever notice that Dad had a falling out with just about everybody? I mean, look at him and Bobby." Sam said, looking to you.

"I don't have anything to say about that." you said, Sam looking to Dean.

"Can't you see it?" Sam asked, Dean nodding casually, Sam lowering the phone. "Well, don't get all Maudlin on me, man."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, you knowing that a fight was bound to break out.

"Sam." you warned, Sam waving you off.

"No, no. You both need to hear this. This strong, silent thing the two of you are doing is crap." Sam said, Dean shaking his head.

"Oh, God!" Dean sighed, you preparing to break the two of them up.

"I'm over it. This isn't just anyone we're talking about." Sam said, looking at Dean. "This is Dad. I know how you felt about the man."

"You know what, back off, all right? Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to." Dean fired back, you stepping between them.

"We're not gonna do this right now." you said, Sam completely ignoring you.

"No, no, no, that's not what this is about, Dean. I don't care how you deal with this, but you have to deal with it, man, both of you. Drinking yourselves stupid doesn't count. Listen, I'm your brother, all right?" Sam said before looking to you. "Y/N, you're like my sister, and I know that you are going through things right now, too. I just want to make sure that you guys are okay."

"Sam, I'm fine." you said, Sam sighing before looking to Dean.

"Dude, I'm okay. I'm okay, okay? I swear, the next person who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches. I don't understand why you have to keep pushing. I mean, fuck, it's like the only peace I can get is when I'm working on the car, or when I'm with Singer. She gets it, man. Why can't you? These are your issues, quit dumping them on us." Dean said, you ready to jump in.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, Dean looking down at his feet, pausing a moment before making eye contact with Sam.

"I just think it's really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. It's like, oh, what would Dad want me to do? Sam, you spent your entire life slugging it out with that man. I mean, hell, you...you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him. And, now that he's dead, now you want to make it right? Well, I'm sorry Sam, but you can't, it's too little, too late." Dean said, you putting your hand on his chest to stop him.

"Why are you saying this to me?" Sam asked, you shaking your head.

"Don't. Enough is enough." you said, trying to protect Sam, Dean looking down at you before looking to Sam.

"Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this. I'm dealing with Dad's death! Are you?"Dean asked, you pushing against his chest.

"God fucking damn it! I said that was enough. He got the fuckin' point." you said, Sam swallowing loudly, looking upset.

"I'm going to go call Ellen." Sam quietly said before walking ahead of you and Dean.

You and Dean caught up to Sam a little further down the road, neither one of you saying anything to each other about the blow up. Both of you kept a bit of distance from Sam and listened as he finished his conversation.

"Thanks a lot." Sam said before hanging up the phone and turning to you and Dean. "Rakshasa."

"What's that?" Dean asked, you thinking back to where you'd heard the name before.

"Ellen's best guess." Sam started, you interrupting.

"Rakshasa. That's Hindu, isn't it?" you asked, Sam looking to you.

"Yeah, it's a race of ancient Hindu creatures. They appear in human form, and they feed on human flesh. They can make themselves invisible, and they cannot enter a home without first being invited." Sam explained, looking between you and Dean.

"So, they dress up like clowns, and the children invite 'em in." Dean said.

"Yeah." Sam said, you nodding.

"That's pretty fuckin' smart." you said, both boys agreeing.

"Why don't they just munch on the kids?" Dean asked, Sam shrugging.

"No idea. Not enough meat on the bones, maybe?" Sam suggested.

"What else'd you find out?" Dean asked.

"Well, apparently, Rakshasas live in squalor. The sleep on a bed of dead insects." Sam said, you wrinkling your nose.

"Nice." Dean sighed, Sam nodding.

"Yeah, and they have to feed a few times every twenty or thirty years." Sam said, you jumping in.

"Slow metabolism, I guess." you said, Sam huffing out a breath.

"Well, that makes sense. I mean, the carnival today, the Bunker Brothers in '81." Dean said, Sam looking over to him.

"Right. Probably more before that." Sam said, you taking a few steps ahead of them before turning around to face them, continuing to walk backwards.

"Well boys, who do we know that worked both shows?" you asked, Sam and Dean sharing a look.

"Cooper?" Sam asked, Dean quickly speaking up.

"Cooper." Dean said, you nodding.

"You know, that picture of his father, that looked just like him." Sam said, you falling back in line with them.

"You think maybe it was him?" Dean asked.

"That's what I would bet on." you said, looking over at him.

"Yeah, who knows how old he is." Sam said, the three of you quiet for a moment.

"Ellen say how to kill him?" Dean asked, you speaking up before Sam could answer.

"Some kind of blade I think. I've read about it before, but I can't fuckin' remember." you said before looking to Sam.

"Legend goes, a dagger made of pure brass." Sam said.

"I think I know where to get one of those." Dean said, Sam stopping the two of you.

"Well, before we go stabbing things into Cooper, we're going to want to make damn sure it's him." Sam said, a serious expression on his face as he looked between you and Dean.

"Come on, Sam." you sighed. "Where's the fun in that?" you teased.

"You're such a stickler for details, Sammy." Dean said, the three of you smiling at each other. "All right, me and Singer will round up the blade, you go check if Cooper's got bedbugs."

Once the three of you were back on the carnival grounds Sam split away from you and Dean. He headed towards Cooper's trailer while you and Dean went to go find the blind man.

"Well, I've got all kinds of knives. I don't know if I've got a brass one, though." the blind man said, leading you and Dean into his trailer.

Sam picked the lock on Cooper's trailer and eased open the door. He stepped inside and quickly looked around, pulling out his pocket knife once he spotted the small bed. Sam walked over and started to slice through the mattress, looking for any evidence of dead insects. Suddenly, Sam heard a gun cock from behind him, and he instantly froze.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mr. Cooper asked, pointing his gun at Sam.

The blind man let you and Dean into his trailer and tapped a trunk with his cane, "Check the trunk." he said, Dean bending down to open the trunk, both of you spotting the red clown wig.

"Well, fuck me." you whispered, Dean standing back up.

"You?" he asked, the blind man dropping his cane before pulling off his glasses.

"Me." he said, his eyes going cloudy, his face beginning to melt as he waved, his face then disappearing Cheshire Cat style, his glowing eyes the last thing you saw.

Dean grabbed a hold of your wrist and pulled you towards the door. He started to struggle with the door, a knife flying past his head to bury into the door. You quickly pulled off a glove and held up your hand as Dean jumped back, another knife landing with a thunk a little higher.

"All right!" Dean yelled, you releasing the ball of light in the direction the knives came from, unsure if you even hit him.

"We need to fuckin' move." you said, looking back over your shoulder at him, Dean finally managing to get the door open.

"Hey!" Sam shouted, seeing the two of you tumble out of the trailer.

"Hey." Dean said, making sure that you were by his side.

"So, Cooper thinks I'm a Peeping Tom, but it's not him." Sam said, looking between you and Dean.

"Yeah, no shit." you said, looking behind you, Dean quickly jumping in.

"Yeah, we gathered that. It's the blind guy. He's here somewhere." Dean said, the two of you looking around.

"Well, did you guys get the-" Sam started to ask, Dean interrupting.

"The brass blades? No." Dean said, Sam looking to you.

"We were a little busy trying not to become fuckin' pin cushions. Asshole started throwin' fuckin' knives after he went all Invisible Man on us." you said, Dean nodding.

"Yeah, it's just been one of those days." he said, Sam pausing to think a moment.

"I got an idea. Come on." Sam said, leading the two of you towards the fun house.

The three of you entered the fun house, a door slamming down as you went through. Dean was on one side while you and Sam were on the other, both of them struggling to open the door.

"Sam! Singer!" Dean yelled, still trying to open the door.

"De, you okay?" you asked as Sam stopped trying.

"Dean, find the maze!" Sam instructed before pulling you along after him.

Sam stopped in front of a pipe organ, the organ giving off steam. He reached for one of the pipes, quickly pulling his hand back as he grimaced from the heat.

"Here." you said, grabbing onto the pipe with your gloved hands, trying to pull it down.

Sam stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a bandanna before wrapping it around his hand, He grabbed onto the pipe and helped you pull, the pipe snapping free just as Dean came around the corner.

"Hey." Dean said, you pulling off your gloves as Sam took the pipe in his hands.

"Hey! Where is it?" Sam asked, looking frantically around.

"I don't know. I mean, shouldn't we see it's clothes walking around?"Dean asked, you shaking your head.

"We didn't see them in the trailer." you said, a knife flying past, pinning Dean's sleeve to the wall, another one zooming by to pin his wrist.

"Guys!" Dean yelled, Sam stalking forward slowly, a knife flying past his head.

"Where is he?" Sam asked, you trying to free Dean.

"I don't know!" Dean shouted, reaching up with his free hand and pulling a lever, more steam pouring from the pipe organ, giving a vague shape to the invisible attacker.

"Sam, behind you!" you yelled, Sam stabbing the pipe behind him without looking.

Sam turned to see the pipe buried in the still invisible creature, blood pouring from the wound. You and Dean finally managed to get him free, and the two of you turned to see only empty clothes and a bloody pipe.

"I hate fun houses." Dean breathed out, turning to look at you.

"Yeah." you said, letting out a slow breath.

Sam and Dean were sitting at the bar back at the Roadhouse as Ellen placed a couple of beers in front of them.

"You boys did a hell of a job. Your dad'd be proud." Ellen said before quickly surveying the room.

"Thanks." Sam said, Ellen turning her attention back to them.

"Y/N not with you?" she asked, Dean taking a swig of his beer.

"Said she had to talk to Ash about something." Dean said, Jo sitting on the other side of him, giving Sam a look.

"Oh yeah, um, I've gotta...uh, uh, I've gotta go. Over there. Right now." Sam said, quickly getting to his feet, stopping by Jo and leaning down to whisper in her ear. "I'd be careful if I were you." he said, knowing how temperamental you could be.

"So." Jo said, clearing her throat, completely disregarding Sam's warning.

"So." Dean said before taking another drink, knowing what she was going to say.

"Am I gonna see you again?" she asked, Dean looking straight ahead.

"I, uh, I don't know." Dean said, Jo leaning towards him.

"I wouldn't hate it, you know." she said, Dean taking a deep breath.

"Hmm. Can I be honest with you? See, in the past I'd be hitting on you so fast it'd make your head spin. But, uh, these days..." Dean said, trailing off when he saw you walk in from the back room.

"Wrong place, wrong time?" Jo asked, nodding towards you.

"There's no way I'm gonna mess that up." Dean said, Jo nodding.

"It's okay, I get it." she said, Ash walking out the same door you did, carrying the folder and a bizarre looking laptop.

"Where you guys been? Been waitin' for ya." Ash said, Ellen passing you a beer as you sat down at the bar.

"We were workin' a job, Ash. Clowns." Sam said, Ash raising a brow.

"Clowns? What the-" Ash started to ask, Dean cutting him off.

"You got something for us, Ash?" Dean asked, Ash setting the laptop down, the exposed wiring making it look homemade.

"Hey, Ellen, can I get something a little stronger?" you asked, the corner of Ellen's mouth turning up.

"What can I getcha?" she asked, you pushing your beer aside.

"Johnnie Walker." you said, Ellen turning around. "Make it a double." you added, Dean giving you a worried look.

"Did you find the demon?" Sam asked, Ash shaking his head.

"It's nowhere around. At least, nowhere I can find. But, if this fugly bastard raises his head, I'll know. I mean, I'm on it like Divine on dog dookie." Ash said, you laughing under your breath.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, needing a better explanation.

"I mean, any of those signs or omens appear, anywhere in the world, my rig'll go off. Like a fire alarm." Ash explained, Dean reaching for the laptop.

"Do you mind..."Dean started to ask, trailing off when Ash gave him a look, pulling his hand back from the keyboard. "Yeah."

"What's up, man?" Ash asked, Sam staring at the laptop.

"Ash, where did you learn to do all of this?" Sam asked, Ash shrugging.

"M.I.T.. Before I got bounced for fighting." Ash answered, Sam reeling back.

"M.I.T.?" Sam asked, a little shocked.

"It's a school in Boston." Ash said, like it wasn't a big deal.

"Okay. Give us a call as soon as you know something." Dean said, Ash nodding.

"Si, si, compadre." Ash said, Dean taking another sip of his beer before sitting it down and getting to his feet.

"Singer?" Dean said as him and Sam headed for the door, you downing the rest of your drink before standing up.

"Hey, listen...if you kids need a place to stay I've got a couple beds out back." Ellen said, you whispering something to Ash before joining Sam and Dean.

"Thanks, but no. There's something I gotta finish." Dean said, tossing his arm over your shoulders.

"Okay." Ellen said, giving the three of you a smile before you walked out the door.

The three of you had made it back to Bobby's, Sam and Dean were outside, and you were sitting at the kitchen table nursing a tumbler of whiskey.

"Mind if I join ya?" Bobby asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Don't ya think you're a little a long in the tooth to be drinkin' at this time of day?" you asked, Bobby huffing out a laugh.

"D'ya just sit around and think of ways to be a smart ass?" Bobby asked, grabbing a glass before sitting down across from you.

"Nope. I don't even have to think about it. It's just a natural talent." you shot back, sliding the bottle to him.

"What'd Ellen have to say?" Bobby asked, pouring himself a drink.

"She offered to help with the demon. Long story short, Ash is tracking it. He said if any signs pop up, he'll know." you said, Bobby nodding, the two of you slipping into silence. "You, uh...you said that I knew things when I was little." you finally said, Bobby looking up at you.

"Yeah." he said, trying to prepare himself for another fight.

"Well, what happened? I mean, I don't remember any of that, and all of....this." you said, holding up your hands, "didn't start until...well, it wasn't happening back then."

"I wish I had a solid answer for you, Kid. It all just kind of stopped out of nowhere. I...I can't explain it." Bobby said, you shaking your head. "Look, I'd give anything to be able to tell you-" he started, you interrupting.

"You can't tell me what you don't know." you said before picking up your drink and finishing it.

"I'm gonna do some diggin', see if I can find anything." Bobby said, watching you closely.

"Yeah, okay." you said, thinking about whether you should tell him what you and Ash talked about. "I, uh, I asked Ash for help." you finally said, a worried expression sliding onto Bobby's face.

"Kid, you can't...if the wrong person-" Bobby started, you interrupting.

"I didn't tell him anything like that. I just asked him if he could find my-" you said, stopping short. "I just asked if he could try to track him down. I only gave him his name. That's it."

"It's not safe. It's just gonna open a whole new can of worms, and-" Bobby tried to say, you cutting him off.

"Pretty sure the can's already been opened." you said, Bobby shaking his head.

"There are people out there, hunters, that aren't gonna read between the lines. There isn't going to be any gray areas with them. It's black or it's white. Kid, I'm not going to be able to keep you safe." Bobby said, you standing up from the table.

"My entire life has been a lie. I...I don't even know who I am anymore. I know that the truth probably isn't going to be pretty. It never is, but I think I deserve to know what it is. Dad." you said, Bobby looking up at you with teary eyes. "You can't hover over me my entire life. You gotta let me make my own way, and trust that I can handle myself."

"I know. It's just-" Bobby said, looking away from you, not able to finish his thought. "What if you find him, and..."

"Like you said, you may not have made me, but YOU are my father. I'm a Singer, and I'm not lookin' to fuckin' change that." you said, Bobby looking a bit relieved. "I...I just need to know-"

"I know." Bobby said, standing up from his seat. "Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself, and that you'll call if you ever need anything." he said, you walking over to him.

"I will." you said before wrapping your arms around him. "I just want to say this real quick, and them I'm gonna knock it the fuck off because it's gettin' a little too God damn mushy." you said before taking a deep breath. "I couldn't have picked a better man to be my father. I love you, Old Man."

"I love ya, Kid." Bobby said, kissing the top of your head, the two of you holding tightly to each other. "Now." Bobby said, clearing his throat. "You better go check on those idjits."

"Yeah." you said, holding on a second longer before stepping back , the two of you sharing one final look before you left the room.

"You were right." Sam said, Dean busy working on the Impala while Sam paced nearby.

"About what?" Dean asked, not looking up.

"About me and Dad. I'm sorry that the last time I was with him I tried to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. So, you're right. What I'm doing now, it's too little. It's too late." Sam said, pausing a beat, his bottom lip trembling. "I miss him, man. And, I feel guilty as hell. And...I'm not all right. Not at all." he said, tears in his eyes. "But, neither are you. That much I know." he said, pausing. "I'll let you get back to work." he added before walking away.

Dean was still for a moment, all of Sam's words sinking in. He picked up a crowbar before walking to a nearby car and smashing out the window. He looked down at the crowbar in his hand before walking back to the Impala and slamming it into the trunk. He couldn't stop after that first hit. He just kept slamming the crowbar down, over and over, letting out all of the frustration and anger that he had been bottling up.

Dean finally took a step back, his shoulders slumping as he let the crowbar clatter to the ground. He looked back over his shoulder, expecting to see Sam standing there, his lip starting to tremble when he saw you standing where Sam had been. He quickly looked away, keeping his back to you as he tried to compose himself.

Things had been a little awkward between the two of you, both of you preferring to just skirt around everything. It was easier than talking about it. It was easier than having to face the truth. Vulnerability wasn't easy for either one of you, and you knew that in that moment Dean was feeling completely exposed. All of the feelings and emotions that he had been trying to bury deep down finally worked their way to the surface.

That was always the problem with holding everything in. You become a powder keg, a ticking time bomb, and you explode eventually. Then, you are bare. Every flaw, every weakness is on display for everyone to see, and you are left there trying to pick up the pieces of your own self destruction.

You knew that he probably wanted to be alone, to hide away until he could build that walk back up. You would want the same thing, but you couldn't let him be alone. You needed to let him know that you were there to help him pick up the pieces. So, without thinking anymore about it, you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him from behind. You pressed yourself tightly to him, one hand coming up to rest over his heart.

Dean stood there completely stiff for a moment, struggling internally, trying his best not to break. You didn't say anything. It wasn't time for words yet. You just held onto him tightly, your cheek resting against his back. You finally felt him relax, his shoulders starting to shake.

"I'm right here." you softly said, Dean's hand coming up to rest over yours.

"S-Singer, I...I don't know what to do. I'm...lost." he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I know, De. I know." you said, pausing a moment. "But, I'm right here, okay? When you feel like you can't count on anything else, you can fuckin' count on that." you said, Dean squeezing onto your hand. "I'm not gonna tell you that I know what to do, or that I have any answers because I don't. But, I will tell you that I'll be here every step of the fuckin' way." you added, Dean silent for a moment.

"You and me." he finally said, you taking a deep breath.

"You and me." you repeated, those three words saying everything that needed to be said.

A/N: Hey guys, I just want to apologize for the delay again. I also want you all to know just how much I appreciate each and every one of you. All of the kind words and love I have received mean the world to me. <3 <3

Tags:  @for-a-brothers-love @slytherinrising @miraclesoflove@22sarah08 @deans-baby-momma @spnae @karikatz12481@spngirl05 @winchester-fantasies @freddiemermaytaydeac@rainbowkisses31 @in-deans-arms @scentedhoundshepherdmoney@teamfreewillisbae @it-could-go-off@moonlight-on-her-skin@channy4eva @monkeymcpoopoo @dean-is-my-superhero@sherlock44 @becs-bunker @that-was-scary@kissmyacdc @dean-is-a-cutie @that-was-scary @cra-zy-vib-es1999 @a-little-bit-of-everythin @a-fangirl-stuff@imsuperawkward@dean-is-my-favorite@ilovetoread44 @xcastielbabyangelface@frederikkeborup@saaamsayshi @irelandsharpie@literallytrashhhhhh @satanic-bastard @deanw-is-pretty @satans-0-spawn @deanwanddamons@womanizerbucky@lieutenantdanielle @dean-is-a-cutie@kissmyacdc @spnbaby-67@celestial-kanzakii @neerness @to-have-deans-love @be-with-me-for-evermore@artemisandromedaathena-blog @rach5ive@lynnehmr @lunalunnel@delicatediplomatsaladlight@imsuperawkward @alanegaming@team-free-will-you-idjiot @supersassyprobablysad @deanwinchestersmydaddy @newheart97 @dhawandyke @castiel-has-bees @akshi8278 @greenarrowhead @waywardson2020​ @sammypotato67​ @idksupernatural​ @all-will-be-well-love​ @dream-believe-and-love​ @leahhh-marieee

#supernatural reader insert #spn series rewrite #series rewrite #season two #reader insert #dean winchester #dean #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #SPN #spn fic #Sam Winchester

[skrltwtch]

Sleep Talk

Prompt: Persons A and B are cuddling on the couch together watching a movie late at night. Person B (who tends to sleep talk) falls asleep, and A doesn’t notice. B begins saying progressively weirder stuff until they finally mutter “I love you.” A internally freaks out and grabs B’s hand, then says, “I love you, too.” Person B wakes up confused and terrified because it was the first time they ever said “I love you” to each other. (Source of prompt in link at bottom of post.)

Word count: 2,026 words

Author's note: Spoilers for Wonder Woman. I also didn't quite follow the prompt to a T.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

‘It’s movie night!’ I said in a sing-song voice upon entering the living room, fresh out of the shower and in my best jammies, a set cut from cat-printed periwinkle blue cloth. George, sadly, wasn’t wearing his matching set. Shame; I’d packed this set with the intention of us spending this iteration of a three-year-old tradition in couple jammies. That’d have been such a sight — and the Instagram story.

‘The best night of the week — which also happens to be Friday night,’ he said, grinning. He patted the space next to him. ‘Saved you a seat. Best one in the house.’

‘Thank you, my darling.’ I put down the bowl of popcorn mixed with funfetti and chocolate, a recipe I nicked off the Internet, and bottle of Coke, and joined him on the couch, its real estate reduced to fit us both as snugly as bugs in a rug by all the pillows he’d added to the living room’s already hefty count. His idea of home improvement made it difficult for me to ever want to leave this couch and live life off of it. Could I put in a request to work from home like this next week? Senior management were strong advocates of ‘flexible arrangements’ and ‘work-life balance’ after all, and none were more deserving of the latter after the week’s events than I.

‘What are you in the mood for?’

‘What are you in the mood for? It’s your turn this week to choose,’ he said.

‘I was being democratic.’

‘For once, you can pretend my opinion doesn’t matter.’

‘“For once”?’

‘Oi.’ He sank deeper into his seat.

The corners of my mouth ached from chortling a little too much at his expense. I almost choked, actually, to which he said under his breath, ‘Karma’, his face gleaming with smug glee. Fair enough.

I reached for the remote and also handed him the popcorn to keep his mouth busy while I picked our poison; I knew, too, that what he’d said about his opinion not mattering this time had to be a bluff. George? Not having an opinion about movies? The next Pope being Buddhist was far likelier. I counted myself fortunate that we had similar tastes.

So, what was I feeling this week? Last week was Ingrid Goes West, which reinforced his decision to stay the fuck away from social media and reinforced my crush on Elizabeth Olsen. It was one of the unspoken rules to not repeat genres to keep things interesting. If there were no such rule, I’d have watched the entirety of Netflix’s sci-fi thrillers, and he its dark comedies, twice over. I navigated to the superhero movies section. I wanted something loud, light, and that wasn’t too long because of the late start.

The cursor found itself on Wonder Woman. Excellent: it was familiar — this would be our second time watching; we had no compunctions about re-watching stuff on movie night, as long as it was within ‘reason’ (whatever that meant — for instance, watching Thor: Ragnarok five times was perfectly acceptable to me) — and didn’t require a tremendous amount of cerebral effort to follow. It was what the doctor ordered for capping off a long, pretty shitty week. I needed the reminder that it was possible, and worthwhile, to find hope in and remain optimistic about such a bleak, ugly world. Besides, what was more cathartic than watching a superheroine, the world’s first, doing her thing in a movie that was, for the most part, also tastefully done? I didn’t want to enter the weekend continuing feeling like shit, so I hit play without further ado.

‘Hey, don’t finish that,’ I said to George, who’d been popping fistfuls of kernels and chocolates into his mouth like there wasn’t a finite supply.

‘You were taking so long to decide.’

‘I’ve decided!’ I gestured at the Warner Bros logo that flashed on-screen.

‘I’m hungry.’ His pout signalled the being of a sulk. ‘We don’t usually start this late …’

I put down the remote and curled up next to him. Our arms made their way onto each other’s bodies: mine across his abdomen, and his over my shoulder. He took my hand and lay a soft kiss on my fingers before setting it back down on his lower stomach, where he preferred it belonged. Fine by me. I burrowed deeper into his side. His scent, fresh and a little sweet from all the candy he’d taken, provided warm solace, as always.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘It wouldn’t have if I hadn’t been made to stay late.’

His fingertips skimmed the curve of my jawline. ‘It’s okay. I was kidding. I know your manager’s a prick with no respect for other people’s time,’ he said. A finger landed on my lip; it tasted faintly of vanilla. ‘Now, shh. Movie’s started.’

For something we’d watched before, Wonder Woman continued to hold our attention. Neither of us succumbed to the temptation of checking our phones nor started conversing with each other about our day, whether the Internet would implode if Chris Pine were to ever join the Marvel Cinematic Universe, weekend plans, whatever. None of that was verboten on movie night. Our attention spans weren’t perfect, and we’d never pretend they were; and some movies, like it or not, were better enjoyed as background noise in the comfort of one’s home. Sometimes we could accomplish so much on movie nights.

‘How’d you think I’d look in that?’ George piped up during the famous No Man’s Land sequence.

‘In what?’

‘Her outfit.’

‘That’s something you could consider for next Halloween.’

He grunted.

‘I’d love to see it.’

‘I want cheese. Cheese in bread. Cheese on bread. Pizza?’

‘You can’t be that hungry.’ I patted his stomach. It emitted a loud, watery rumble.

‘’m puckish.’

‘“Peckish”?’

‘That’s what I said.’ His speech had a slurred quality to it.

‘There’s still popcorn left.’

‘Not chicken wings.’ How’d wings come into the picture? ‘Or Sprite.’

‘Gross, Sprite.’

Despite his and his stomach’s grievances, he didn’t take the popcorn or Coke, or get up to order whatever it was that he wanted. I wasn’t about to surrender the position into which I’d worked myself. Likewise, I was genuinely into Wonder Woman (I attributed that to the fatigue I felt toward all things Marvel after Endgame and my excitement for Wonder Woman 1984) to consider taking any interruptions in my stride. His stomach did stop its fussing after a while.

‘Are my Neopets dead? Is there a Neopets Heaven?’

I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how to. Because he didn’t need to know I was still on Neopets and could therefore tell him with full confidence that no, Neopets wouldn’t starve to death, and no, the concepts of death and Heaven didn’t, and would never, exist on the site because its staff continued to delude themselves about the average age of their current userbase. Look, I put in too much work on my account, which I’d had since the site’s inception, to simply let it rot in the site’s current state of virtual limbo. Actually, maybe I should come clean and reintroduce him to the site … it was getting a little lonely for little ol’ me in Neopia.

‘What do you think happens to Tamagotchi when they die?’

Okay, what the fuck.

I peeled my gaze off of Gal Gadot — a herculean task — and looked up at him. Oh, God. He really was the old man he proclaimed himself to be. I let him sleep. He, too, had had a rough week at work, and I needed him at his best for what we had planned for the weekend … which, for now, was nothing. I was planning for the both of us to work on it when Wonder Woman entered standard blockbuster fare territory! Once again, work had thrown a monkey wrench into the fine-tuned machinery that constituted our countdown to the weekend: sending texts about weekend plans to each other during office hours and bringing them to fruition once our asses found themselves out the door at six o’clock and not a second later. This was called making efficient use of our time at work. Our managers should be so proud.

George’s sleep talking soon eclipsed Wonder Woman in terms of entertainment value. Frankly, Wonder Woman lost its lustre in its third act, where the filmmakers attempted to convince the audience that Remus Lupin and the fearsome Greek god of war were one and the same. That moustache? In what universe —? The nerve of Patty Jenkins, expecting me to extend my suspension of disbelief to such lengths.

Tonight’s highlights included:

‘Fucking parrots, always stealing my hot dogs in the park.’

‘I am not eating that banana without a fork.’

‘Look, that dog is wearing a tea cosy on its head.’ (I really would’ve loved to see this.)

‘Dad’s going to regret not letting mom pursue that degree in apartment science.’

When I couldn’t resist and asked him what apartment science was: ‘You know, when an apartment and science love each other very much …’

‘Government’s come out and made sex on bicycles illegal. That is a goddamn shame.’

‘Pudding’s never hurt anyone. Not physically, not emotionally.’

I was … a little fascinated, honestly. His episodes, as moderate as their occurrences were, tended to consist of brief, simple sentences and max out at four or five. Did I need to be concerned? Or was work taking a heavier toll on him than he’d let on? That was it: our weekend was going to revolve around relaxation. The beach! Massages! Studio Ghibli on Netflix! Spending the entirety of either day in bed was a need, a must; I wouldn’t care to hear otherwise.

‘I love you.’

‘I love you, George.’ I rested my head on his chest and interlaced my fingers with his.

The realisation of what the words that’d left our lips, been said in our voices, and hung in the air above our heads, begging, screaming, to be acknowledged, were drove me to undo what I did and pause the movie. Why did that sound so … natural? Why was I even questioning this? Our relationship — what we had — wasn’t invalid because those words hadn’t been said — until now, where ‘now’ happened to be borne of a sleep talking episode. Love didn’t have an on-off switch. The things we did together, the things we did for each other, the things we did to each other, said volumes louder about what we were than those three words.

Still, it felt fucking magical.

George stirred next to me. ‘Has it ended?’

‘No.’

He snuffled. ‘Did I fall asleep?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Shit. Did you stop because I —’

How was that sentence supposed to have ended? Because he talked in his sleep? Because of what he said? Do you know what you said, and did you mean it? I wanted to ask. His recollection of what he said while unconscious was a crapshoot; at least it wasn’t convenient whenever it might suit him — like now, perhaps. And I did. I meant what I said. Come on, Y/N. Don’t sweep this under the rug. Don’t play it off as a joke. Do it. Ask him. We were adults, whether or not we liked it. I couldn’t have the weekend start on a note like this.

He pressed me closer to him. His lips brushed the top of my head. ‘I’m an idiot for not saying it sooner — or more often, and when I’m awake,’ he said. ‘I love you. I love you. I love you. It sounds divine.’

Heat danced across my cheeks. ‘It does, doesn’t it?’ Our palms touched. ‘I love you,’ I said softly. ‘I love you, George MacKay.’

I resumed the movie, both better able and more unable to focus on it now. There wasn’t much left to it. Chris Pine had long left the picture, as my interest would’ve, too, notwithstanding what’d transpired.

‘What else did I say?’

‘You wanted to know if your Neopets are dead.’

‘Oh. Well, are they? Can you help me check?’

‘Why are you asking me?’

‘I know you still play.’

#george mackay #george mackay x reader #george mackay imagine #george mackay fanfic #mine