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stardew-mermaid · 3 years

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im WEAK for my faves as parents and i know lots of y'all are too so here are

bachelors as dads vibes

(bachelorettes as moms will come soon too ❤️ under cut cause it got very long lol)

sebastian

a chill dad. when u were very little he'd let u sit in his lap while he codes and consequently u find heavy metal soothing cause he would be playing it while he works and u would always fall asleep against him

if he wasn't using his second computer u could play around on it while he works. 'existing in each other's company while u both do stuff' time becomes a regular thing even as u get older, u would do ur homework next to him at his desk and he'd help if u were confused

the first time u were deemed old enough to go for a ride on his motorcycle u were SO fucking hyped even if u had to be absolutely decked out in protective gear. sometimes while u were in high school he'd help you flex by picking you up/dropping you off on the bike

would bundle u up in his hoodies as a toddler and there's a few pics of u absolutely SWIMMING in them with the hood all the way over ur face pretending to be the grim reaper. he'd never been so proud

elliott

an eloquent dad, but still has goofy dadlike tendencies. he may be the picture of a dark academia dilf with his slacks and button ups sipping coffee in the morning over a manuscript, but he'll still make the jokes. calls u things like little one and taught u to play piano

he got u ur own little bookshelf for all ur baby books and he'd read to you every single night without fail. he'd make up stories too and u would help and make a collab tho it often got u more excited than relaxed for bed but it was worth it!!! when u were grown up u helped him compile the short stories u made up together and published it. he'd also share with u poems he wrote for you and about you over the years, lots of them to do with the wonder of watching a whole tiny person grow into a big person

would always take u on nature walks and play at the beach!!! u would find shells and rocks to give to him and he'd always look like u just handed him pure gold

u made a pact that u would sit still for him while he did ur hair if u could braid his hair in turn. u both looked very stylish

sam

cool dad!!! fun dad!!!! watches anime with u when u get into it and is forever ur player 2. if u had a skateboard or a scooter he'd always show u up by pulling off sick tricks and it became a friendly rivalry. taught u to stick it to the man at a very early age. teaches u to play guitar and took u to ur first rock concert when u were like 8

there are baby photos of u wearing sunglasses that cover half ur face and when asked about it he'd say 'u were just a rly cool baby!!!!' in some of them he's wearing matching sunglasses and carrying u in one of those front baby pouches. he'd also always sing to you as a baby and still does it idly sometimes and has written songs for u!!!!

ur #1 hypeman. praises u for everything and always makes sure u know how cool u are just for existing. he loses his mind at ur grade school talent show and at ur graduation he's there holding up his phone and crying like FUCK IT UP KENNETH!!!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

tho alongside all the fun he teaches u to be very responsible and polite and above all extremely kind!!!!

shane

has the most potent typical dad energy. the socks with sandals, the jokes, the ac/dc, the funny hobby projects, the rivalry with other pta parents, all of it. calls u squirt and kiddo and the kind to ruffle ur hair. always gives u piggy back rides even as u get older, says it helps him stay in shape. when u were little you'd always bap ur baby hands against his stubble cause heehee funny scratchy face

u loved when he was in charge of dinner growing up cause it was often takeout pizza/burgers. 'hey im making a pot of kraft dinner should i double it for u' kind of guy, adds cut up hot dogs and after ur other parent voices a need for nutrition adds frozen veggies too. VERY good at cooking all kinds of eggs tho, would always feed u eggs from his own chickens and would accept nothing less!!!

teaches u a lot about chickens and some of ur fave memories with him are in the coop or chillin in a field in spring with him and the new chicks. some other faves include the regular tea parties with him and cousin jas, and even as u both get older u all sit down and have tea together sometimes and occasionally break out one of the old barbie movies for funsies

u learned how to say fuck from him when u were 3 and he died laughing. if called and told that u got into a fight at school would reply with 'did they win'

harvey

sweet, dorky doctor dad. would get SUPER worried whenever u got so much as a cold, made u stay home and rest and HYDRATE. taught u proper medical standard handwashing from when u first learned how to turn on the tap, also taught u a lot of basic first aid. when u were fussy he would read u his old textbooks from med school and it'd get you to sleep in minutes

refuses to let u leave the house without eating something first and would often get up early to make u a big breakfast before school (it's the most important meal of the day!!!!). yes it's ok if ur late ur english teacher can wait until you've had ur veggies. when u were a baby his standard of keeping u fed was 'if i had to change less than five diapers a day it wasn't enough'. encourages taking a snack and water everywhere

as u got older u realized how hardworking he is so u make sure he knows how much u love and appreciate him, goes all out for his bday and father's day like how he goes all out for u every day and it makes him cry. he cries at ur first birthday and ur graduation too, cried when u got him a #1 DAD mug specifically for his morning coffee, he just cries a lot and it's very endearing, dad taught u it's okay to be emotional. u also gift him funky socks to wear at work and he goes bananas for them

he taught u how to assemble model planes and u would sit with him while he tuned his old radio, u liked the bwee bwee sounds. he would play jazz and swing and dance with u standing on his feet. when u were little u liked to play with his moustache and occasionally he would fall asleep while watching u but the most u ever did was add a goatee to the stache with washable marker which he thought was pretty funny

alex

strong dad!!! jock dad!!!!! would flex and let u hang off his bicep, play wrestle (u would always win), sit u on his shoulders and run around making airplane noises, play sportsball in the yard and would come up with fun challenges for u if u got bored of catch. pretty much the master of keeping ur baby self entertained and was always there to tuck u in for a nap when u got tired out

makes an extra protein shake for u every morning and loads of scrambled eggs, will also sneak u a cookie tho

he's always super encouraging and positive and enthusiastic about everything u do which u pick up fast. u go to his games and even if sports turns out not to be ur thing the fact that ur there rooting for him makes him put in 1000% effort, calls u his good luck charm!!!! he will also throw u over his shoulders and use u for weightlifting while u shout encouragement directly into his ear. this continues until ur grown up (and sometimes even then so he can flex even as an 'old man')

gets really really worried about you whenever ur sick or get hurt and will lose sleep over it but stays upbeat for ur sake. he will cuddle u tho. sometimes you'll ask for stories about ur grandma and he'll tell u and it's so nice to him to talk about his mother and smile instead of being sad, you help him heal because it's so wonderful to think of her as a grandmother and how proud she'd be. he plays her music box for u to help u sleep when ur little and it still makes u feel sleepy and safe when ur older

#food mention -/#stardew valley #stardew valley headcanons #stardew valley imagines #sdv headcanons #sdv imagines #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv sam #sdv shane #sdv harvey #sdv alex #long post #big dad energy

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telehxhtrash · 4 years

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hii,,,,,,,,,, i know that hunterpedia isnt canon to the storyline but killua and gon literally kissed on it like twice and some ppl INSIST its platonic. like yes,, there can be platonic kisses,, BUT. i do not think after all the work togashi has put into making killua’s feelings towards gon so subtle they would just;; add that in for no reason

Hi anon! I can’t thank you for this ask enough because I was looking for an excuse to make a post about it but couldn’t find one so THANK YOU!!

ok first of all quick parenthesis but i’ve seen so many people say that “even if they kissed it could be platonic” like. funny how that argument is only used for same-gender pairings and people never say a straight kiss is platonic. when you look at it with this mindset, everything can be platonic. kissing, hand holding, sex, marriage. that’s why context and subtext is important, and that’s why togashi is going out of his way to provide us with very emotional scenes (like killua comparing gon to light itself, him saying he wants to commit lovers’ suicide, gon saying that he’s really glad he met killua out of the blue while blushing, and many, many others) to back us up on the fact that if they kissed, it’d definitely be because they’re in love with each other.

OK now onto the real part of my post HAHA

I think it’s extremely telling that both the 1999 and 2011 anime adaptations emphasize on the gay content.

1999 is........ extremely gay. Like there’s no other words. The “Ohayou” opening and the “Do You Feel Like I Feel” ending have romantic lyrics over visuals that are just. gay. Like. Just look at this.

i can’t find a version with the RIGHT lyrics but "koibito datari tomodachi de itaikara” literally means “because i want to to be your lover and your friend”

and this ending is just. peak gay. the visuals are gay. and the lyrics are stuff like :

like man. they didnt have to go this hard. those songs were specifically written for hxh btw. like, they didn’t exist before. they were commissioned for the show. just so that’s clear.

Throw in the incredible amount of subtext and gay moments in the show itself, like this for example. 1999 version is drowning in gay subtext.

But why ? You don’t randomly decide to turn an anime gay ?? especially when at the time the anime came out, there was literally no subtext between either Leorio/Kurapika or Killua and Gon. Like, none.

We talked about it with @/reeeyachi, and I really, really believe that Togashi told them where the story was headed. Like, he straight off the bat told them “these two pairings will be canon by the end of the manga”. Reeya explained that at some point, they had to ask Togashi for his opinion on the plot before animating, so Togashi was definitely involved in the show to some extent (and i also found canon confirmation that he was involved btw, picture below). They probably presented their general idea, and Togashi approved. Which leaves two options : either Togashi found it funny that they interpreted the story as having gay undertones when it has none and let them do whatever they wanted, or he specifically told them straight off the bat that his manga was going to be queer. The first option is highly unlikely to me, considering that in the end, canon material has even more gay subtext than 1999. It only leaves the latter option. That’s the only logical explanation for why 1999 went absolutely crazy with the gay content : Togashi must’ve told them.

And okay, let’s assume that 1999 was a fever dream. Let’s assume that it’s not an accurate representation of the spirit of HxH at all.

We still got 2011 version, which focuses heavily on Killua and Gon’s relationship, and emphasizes the gay aspect of their relationship too. Not only did the 2011 emphasize the cute heartfelt moments between the both of them, they also added a few moments, like for example that scene on Greed Island where Killua looks at Gon with heart eyes and doesn’t say anything for like 3 seconds because he’s awestruck. (let’s not mention all the times when they made Killua look at Gon with a pure look of love on his face)

Let’s also throw in Yuzu’s ending songs, especially Nagareboshi Kirari that’s just. A fucking love song. And this song was commissioned for HxH once again, the song uses male pronouns and Yuzu said that they wrote the song after their interpretation of their reading of the Chimera Ant Arc.

And like you said, the Hunterpedias !

I often hear dudebros say that “HxH 2011 was made by shippers and doesn’t represent canon material”. But isn’t it weird that the entire cast of HxH 2011 agreed on emphasizing the gay subtones of HxH ? Like, it’s not just one animator. It’s all the crew that worked on the anime adaptation. From the director to the animators. The majority had to agree to highlight this, it’s not just the decision of one person.

And that brings me to my last point. I might be talking out of my ass, but I feel like it’s mostly general knowledge in Japan that HxH is queer work. I feel like it’s linked to the cultural subtext that we don’t have but that definitely echoes with the japanese audience and leads them to think that HxH is queer work. I’m mostly thinking about Killua’s story echoing Tanabata, the “Killua ja nakya dame nan da”, the “shinjuu” line, etc. All of these don’t ring the same way to our ears, because we don’t have the cultural upbringing or context. But it makes sense for the japanese audience to hear the word “shinjuu” and immediately realize that “oh, that’s a romantic word. Killua must love Gon”.

I feel like that explains why not one, but the TWO anime adaptations decided to go apeshit with the gay content. It’d explain why “the 2011 anime crew are shippers”, why Yuzu wrote a love song as an ending, why the Hunterpedias feature kisses.

Either it’s mostly clear for Japanese people that HxH is queer and represents a love story, or Togashi directly told the anime adaptation crew. I personally think it’s a mix of both tbh : Togashi probably never intended to hide that his story was queer from either Shonen Jump or the 1999 crew and probably told them straight off the bat, and the subtext rings louder for Japanese speakers, which emphasizes it even more.

One thing’s certain. You don’t randomly make an anime gay for the sake of being gay. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve never heard of any other manga being randomly turned gay in the anime adaptation.

And at the end of the day, the canon material features a LOT of gay subtones, so I think it truly emphasizes that at least, 1999 version HAD to know where the story was headed, and decided to overplay it because they knew that at the end of the manga they’d be canon. Because Togashi probably let them know.

(man i feel like im a delusional shipper typing this LMFAO - but like thats really my take on it. i definitely think SJ knows that hxh is queer, and i feel like togashi had to let 1999 crew know too. it’d make sense. u don’t pull gay content out of ur ass for the fun of it. especially since there was no gay content at the time, until later where togashi put a shitton of gay subtext -like, 1999 had to know in advance. ++ add all the cultural nuances like i said - itd make sense for japanese people to realize that yes, hxh features a gay love story. to me thats why both the entire crews of 1999 + 2011 are “shippers”)

#ask #meta #my meta #i feel like im pulling stuff out of my ass tbh LMFAO #like i have 0 way to know if thats true #but i feel like 1999 had to know #and i feel like most japanese people know bc the subtext is heavier for them #idk man #pls correct me if im wrong #killugon

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drivingsideways · 3 years

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k-drama rec list

Prior to 2020 I’d maybe watched 2 k-dramas in my entire life, but this year I got sucked in, thanks to some great recs, and y’know, *gestures * everything.

I think I’d held off watching kdramas because my impression of them was limited to romances that I didn’t enjoy at all. But this was the year I discovered the equivalent of “gen fic” kdrama- dramas that had wonderful ensemble casts, strong story lines that weren’t entirely romance focused and also a variety in terms of themes and styles. A big plus was that I found so many of these dramas had women leading the writers’ room, and seeing the effect of that in the story telling. (Notable exceptions: a certain “star” writer who should please stop inflicting her badly written, formulaic crap on the world, yes Kim Eun-Sook, I mean you, and whoever wrote that trashfire Flower of Evil)

So here I am with my own rec list! Caveat- these are mostly not the dramas released in 2020, I’m still playing catch up! :)

Under the cut for length

My Mister/ My Ahjussi (2018, Written by Park Hae-Young, Directed by Kim Won-Seok, starring Lee Sun-kyun and Lee Ji-eun aka IU)

This was definitely my absolute favourite of the shows I watched this year across western/ asian media. It’s a story about the thread that binds us all and the ineffability of human connection. It’s also a story that deconstructs ideas of masculinity and honour and shame in a non-western context, but with an extremely compassionate touch. It’s a story that doesn’t shy away from showing the consequences of material and spiritual poverty; and how one can so easily feed into the other. It’s a love story that isn’t a romance, except that it’s a Romance. It’s about finding salvation in one another and in the kindness of strangers. It’s about choosing life, and picking yourself up off the floor to take that one last step and then the next and then the next. The one quibble I have with the series is that it could have been better paced, it does get extremely slow after the half way mark. But god, do they land the ending. Both Lee Sun-kyun and IU turn in absolutely heartbreaking performances, and fair warning, be prepared to go through an entire box of tissues watching this series.

Life (2018, written by Lee Soo-yeon and directed by Hong Jong-chan, starring Lee Dong-wook, Cho Seung-woo, Won Jin-ah, Lee Kyu-hyung, Yoo Jae-myung and Moon So-ri.)

Medical dramas are very much not my thing, and I wouldn’t have taken a chance on it except that @michyeosseo said I should, and she was right! It’s a medical drama in the sense that it’s set in a hospital, but rather than a “case-fic” format, this is actually a sharp commentary on the corporatization of health care, and the business of mixing, well, money and what should be a fundamental human right. Writer Lee Soo-yeon was coming off the global success of Stranger/Secret Forest S1 when this aired, so I understand that expectations were probably sky-high, and people were disappointed when this show didn’t give them the adrenaline rush that they wanted. On the other hand, I thought that this outing was really much more nuanced in terms of the politics and also how the ending doesn’t allow you the luxury of easy-fixes. This show has a great ensemble cast, and while it took me a while to get used to Lee Dong-wook’s woodenness (i ended up calling him mr.cadaver after watching this and was surprised to learn that he’s very popular?), in the end I was quite sold on his version of angry angst-bucket elder-sibling Dr.Ye Jin-woo. His best scenes were with Lee Kyu-hyung who turns in a lovely, achy performance as the paraplegic Dr. Ye Seon-woo who just wants to live a normal life. The love story between the two brothers is actually the emotional backbone of the story, and I think they landed that perfectly.

My one quibble with writer-nim is that she ended up writing in a forgettable and somewhat (for me at least) uncomfortable romance between the characters played by Won Jin-ah and Cho Seung-Woo. I think part of my uncomfortable-feeling was that I got the strong sense that the writer herself didn’t want to write this romance, it was as if she was being made to shoe-horn it in for Studio Reasons, and she basically grit her teeth and did the worst possible job of it. I do wish we could have absolutely had the OT3 of my dreams: Moon So-ri/Cho Seung-woo/Yoo Jae-myung like, c’mon TV gods MAKE IT HAPPEN, just...look at them!!!!

Anyway, that apart, I think this was a very engaging series, and by engaging, I also mean thirst-enabling, see below.

Stranger (aka Secret Forest or Forest of Secrets) S1 & 2 : (2017-, Written by Lee Soo-yeon, directed by

2017′s smash hit aired a much anticipated second season in 2020, and I managed to catch up just in time to watch that live, so that was thrilling :D . Writer Lee Soo-yeon mixes up thriller/office comedy/political commentary in an ambitious series. I think S1 is more “exciting” than S2 in terms of the mystery and pacing, but S2 is far more dense and interesting in terms of political commentary because it takes a long hard look at institutional corruption and in true writer-nim fashion doesn’t prescribe any easy solutions. Anyway, please enjoy public prosecutor Cho Seung-woo and police officer Bae Doona as partners/soulmates kicking ass and taking names in pursuit of Truth, Justice and just a goddamn peaceful meal, along with a stunningly competent ensemble cast. Also yes, Han Yeo Jin is a lesbian, sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Search: WWW (2019, Written by Kwon Do-Eun, directed by Jung Ji-hyun & Kwon Young-il, starring Im Soo-jung, Lee Da-hee, Jeon Hye-jin)

GOD. Where do I start? +1000 for writer Kwon Do-Eun saying “fuck the patriarchy” in the most grandiose way possible, i.e. absolutely refusing to acknowledge that it exists. Yes, this is that power fantasy, and it’s also a fun, slice-of-life tale about three women navigating their way through work, romance, national politics and everything in between. It’s true that I wasn’t entirely sold on the amount of time spent on the romance, and I really wish they’d actually had a textual wlw romance, though the subtext through the entire series is PRACTICALLY TEXT. But still, it maintains that veneer of plausible deniability and I think queer fans who are sick of that kind of treatment in media have a very valid grouse against the show. On the other hand, personally I felt that the queer-platonic vibe of the show is very wonderful and true to real life, and it was only reinforced by the ending. This is a show written by a woman for women (like me), and it shows.

Hyena (2020, Written by Kim Roo-Ri, directed by Jang Tae-yoo & Lee Chang Woo, starring Kim Hye-soo and Ju Ji-hoon )

Those of you who’ve been watching hit zombie epic Kingdom are probably familiar with Ju Ji-hoon’s brand of sexiness already. I had not watched Kingdom and got hit in the face by Mr.Sexy McSexyPants’ turn as a brash, privileged-by-birth, up and coming lawyer who gets completely runover by the smoking hot and incredibly dangerous fellow lawyer/competitor from the other side of the tracks in the person of Kim Hye-Soo. When I say they set the room on fire, I mean it, ok. Every single scene between these two is an actual bonfire of sexual attraction and emotional hand grenades, and they’re both absolutely riveting to watch. “Flower of Evil” wishes they had what this show has- an actual grown up romance as opposed to a thirteen year old twilight fan’s idea of an adult romance.

The “lawyer” shenanigans and the “cases” are hit or miss, and I think the occasional comedy fell flat for me. But that’s not why I mainlined like 6 episodes of this series overnight like a coke addict, and that’s not why you’re going to do it either. It’s so RARE, even in these enlightened days to find a female character like Jung Geum-ja: hard as nails, unapologetic about it, and not punished by the narrative for it. The best part for me is that she feels like a woman’s woman, not a man’s idea of what a Strong Female Character should be. Anyways, when I grow up I want to have what Kim Hye-soo has ok?

Other dramas that I watched this year, quickly rated:

The King: Eternal Monarch (3/10 and those 3 points are only for the combined goodness of second leads who deserved better- Jung Eun Chae, Woo Do Hwan and Kim Kyung Nam. Please head over to my AO3 and read my attempts to fix this garbage fire and rescue their characters from canon)

Flower of Evil (-10/100, dont @ me)

Tale of the Nine Tailed (5/10, I think it succeeds at what it set out to do, which is a light hearted, sweet fantasy-romance-melodrama, plus “second lead” Kim Beom will make you cry as the hot mess of a half human/ half fox spirit ALL TEARS character. I think if you’re into kdrama romances as a genre, this is probably a good bet?)

Signal (7/10, This was the first full kdrama I watched this year and would definitely recommend. It’s a police procedural with time travel shenanigans and has an engaging plot, good pacing, texture and compelling performances. My one disappointment with it was the way they wrote Kim Hye-soo’s character. As literally the only female character to survive in any way, she was given short shrift, and toward the end it really began to grate on me.)

Six Flying Dragons - (7/10, also would recommend if you’re interested in Korean historicals. It definitely already feels a bit dated in terms of styling and production values, and even scripting and acting choices. But it has a good balance of fantasy and history and political commentary. I was not a fan of Yoo In-Ah’s performance in this series, but it’s not anything that would make you want to nope out of the series. It’s GoT , if GoT was thoughtful about politics and characters and not the misogynist, racist trashfire that it became.)

My Country: The New Age - (3.5/10, and that’s 3 points to Jang Hyuk’s fan and 0.5.points to Woo Do Hwan’s heaving bosom. If you like your historical drama/fantasy with very pretty men, very gay subtext -seriously RIP to show makers who thought they could hetero it but didn’t account for Woo Do Hwan’s Tragic Face- lots of blood and tears and very nonsense plot, this is right up your alley. I probably would have enjoyed it more in other circumstances, I think? But this one just annoyed me too much at the time!

I have a couple of more dramas to watch on my list, that’ll probably carry me over into 2021, so see ya on the other side! :D

#k-drama #kdrama rec list #2020: A YEAR #i'm a queue for you

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years

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until next time, dear heart

alright so like a week ago @toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account and i had this thread about Well What If Jaskiers Dead? and i wrote it. it's sad. im sorry hannah.

ship: geraskier (can be platonic or romantic)

genre: whump (this is my contribution to whumptober), angst, all that

warnings: major character death, panic attacks, anxiety, unhealthy grieving mechanisms including starvation, not sleeping, distancing, almost getting hypothermia, blaming yourself, mutism, thoughts of running away and self destructive behaviors. be careful kids

words: 6311...

editing: absolutely not

Geralt had arrived early at the keep that year. He and Ciri had gotten there almost a month ago and while it was peaceful, part of him really wished that Eskel and Lambert would hurry up because he wasn’t sure how much more of Ciri and Vesemir in the same room he could take. Although Geralt supposed that this was his own fault. After finding his Ciri running through the woods his first thought had been to protect her, keep her safe, get her to Kaer Morhen as soon as possible.

Do for her what he hadn’t been able to do for Jas- no. The bard.

It had been months since their last conversation on the mountain, and yet Geralt still had to call on all his Witcher training to keep any and all thoughts of the bard buried deep in the back of his mind. He didn’t have time for feelings now, not when he had Ciri depending on him.

“Geralt!”

Speak of the little cub. Geralt paused his sharpening of his silver sword to see the young girl standing in the doorway, her thick cloak thrown over her shoulders and her hair spilling haphazardly from the mediocre braid that he had managed to shove it in that morning. He had gritted his teeth the whole time, determined to not remember the way the bard had done the same to him so many nights on the path when he thought Geralt was asleep, his hands gently detangling the nest of knots and weaving the silvery strands into some intricate design or other, occasionally tucking flowers into it if they were near a meadow. Geralt would always, always rip it out the next morning, muttering about the impracticality. Just once he wished he had left the stupid thing in, just to see the bard smile softly to himself and mumble things under his breath when he thought Geralt couldn’t hear him about how-

No. Don’t think about his voice, Geralt reminded himself. It was a losing battle.

“Geralt are you even listening to me?”

Oh right, Ciri. Ciri was here and he should be paying attention to her. Stupid Witcher.

“Hmm?”

Ciri rolled her eyes, but pressed on anyway. “One of your brothers just arrived! I couldn’t tell who exactly but Vesemir went out to greet him and he has armor just like you so I knew it had to be one of your brothers! Can we go out and say hi? Please, please, pleeeeassee?”

Geralt was already setting down his sword and reaching for his own cloak. “Of course.” Thank the gods someone else had finally arrived, he had a months worth of frustrations to take out on a good sparring session.

Ciri bounded ahead of him down the long hall, presumably on her way to the stables. He briefly considered telling her to show down so she didn't give Eskel or Lambert a heart attack. Geralt had conveniently never mentioned his child surprise to his brothers and since it had been some time since there had been children running around Kaer Morhen, her presence was likely to be a shock. But, given the lifetime’s worth of pranks he had to catch up on, he let her go. Maybe he could convince his brothers to help him with Ciri. He’d have to play his cards right and would inevitably end up cleaning their armor for the whole winter, but he found himself not caring. He couldn’t screw this up.

Again, the small voice in the back of his head whispered.

Fuck off, he told it, as he stepped outside into the frigid air. He didn’t have time to dwell on past mistakes.

Voices drifted across the powdery new snow, the kind the bard would wither stomp through triumphantly with a smartass smirk painted across his face or stare at for hours, waxing poetry about how the sunlight glinted across the flecks, making it look like fairydust. And then Geralt would mutter something about how fairydust was a myth and the bard would-

“Geralt!”

Geralt flicked his head up, cursing himself for allowing himself to get lost in memories again. Maybe he could get Vesemir to give him one of his special teas later to help him focus, the last thing he needed was getting distracted when Ciri was depending on him.

Ciri was standing in the stable,Vesemir noticeably absent, feeding Lambert’s horse - he thought this one's name might be Melvin, Lambert always did name his horses the most ridiculous names - some sugar cubes she must have swiped on the way out of the keep. “Look Geralt!” she laughed. “He likes me!”

Geralt frowned. Secretly, he’d been hoping that Eskel would be the first to arrive because he was far more likely to be accepting of his predicament and not make rude jokes about it. Given Lambert’s track record, well he didn't doubt that “children” and “surprises” would be the punchline of his jokes for the next, oh who was he kidding, several winters at least.

“Ciri, you’re supposed to ask before you feed peoples horses, especially people you don’t know,” he said, reaching up to help untack the stallion.

Lambert’s boots echoed heavily on the floor as he walked over to them from the tack room where he had gone to place his saddle.

“Lambert.” Geralt nodded by way of greeting. “I take it you’ve met my child surprise, Princess Cirila, the Lion Cub of Cintra.”

“Yes we’ve been acquainted,” Lambert said gruffly, stepping beside Geralt to remove his saddle bags. Geralt waited for the impending joke, but none came.

He looked over at his brother, ready to make a quip about how he must have finally managed to grow a pair this season, when he saw a familiar lute case grasped in Lambert’s hand and he froze. Why did Lambert of all people have….oh….no….

Lambert sighed, finally turning to face Geralt and it was only then that he saw the clear signs of distress agitating his expression and he smelled vaguely nervous. “There’s….something I need to tell you.”

read the rest on ao3

___

sorry there were too many italics to copy onto tumblr and stay sane

i am sorry. dw, ill post some softness tomorrow to make up for it.

toss me an ask if you wanna be on my taglist

taglist: @percy-jackson-is-sexy- @barlowarts @eminasan @llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @nonegenderleftpain @electricrituals

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starchildrenofdustand-ashes · 5 years

Text

My Six The Musical Review

Once again nobody cares— BUUUT I saw SixChicago yesterday with Adrianna Hicks as Aragon, Andrea Macasaet as Bolyen, Abby Mueller as Seymour, Brittney Mack as Cleves, Anna Uzele as Parr. Here are somethings I noticed (essentially this is a rundown of everything you wouldn’t get just from listening to the album lol) ((Also im so tired and its 12.28 am and im sorry for any mistakes))

❤️💚💛💗🖤💙

👑 So before the show, they were playing a ton of pop music, but it was on an instrument that kinda sounded like a lute or harpsichord. 👑 When the Queens walked out from behind the curtain in a single file line to take their place on stage, the crowd went crazy. They all came out through a tiny crack in the curtain,, but when they belt “LIIIIVE” the curtain falls to the floor as is dragged off stage. 👑During the dance breaks in Ex-Wives, they go from dancing hip hop, to dancing with each other in a style they would’ve done back then to the beat. It was cute. 👑It was so weird hearing their accents! I’m always expecting “divooced” but it felt like they were almost emphasizing the r “ divoRRced” 👑Before Catherine of Aragon starts singing in Ex-Wives she says “Remember us from PBS??” 👑When Jane Seymour sings her bit in the song she moves Stage Left and when the Queens all say “Hey!” She looks surprised and shrugs, continuing to sing 👑Anna really played up the “JA’s” during her bit and IT WAS SO CUTE (you will find I am partial to clever, bc my gay ass is in love with her.) 👑There is so much dialogue!! After they say “Chicago!! How’re you doing tonight!!” They say we are “SIIIIX” in their harmonies and “Welcome to our divorced, beheaded, LIVE TOUR” 👑Aragon says “WE HAVE SO MUCH IN STORE FOR YOU TONIGHT— WE HAVE THE RIFFS TO RUFFLE YOUR RUFFS” before she does a really sick riff 👑A few of the other queens add on to that,, I forgot what they said but then Howard says “AND A WHOLE LOT OF HISTORY” and Parr cuts her off and says “OR AS WE SAY A WHOLE LOT OF HERSTORY” 👑then they introduce their band (who are on the stage with then) as their ladies in waiting and I was soft 👑 So then they go on to explain the deal with the show; they are all competing against each other for the crown of the “ultimate” queen based on who had to put up with the most shit from Henry 👑 When they’re going down the line to explain why they say 💛Who lasted longest was the strongest 💚The biggest sinner is obvs the winner 🖤 I have no idea what Seymour said I don’t remember DX ❤️Who was most chased is first place 💗The most glorious will be victorious 💙The winning contestant was the most protestant (but she says it so it rhymes with contestant and then all the queens look at her like ??? And she sighs and says ‘protestant’ with its correct pronunciation 👑Aragon says “How in the purgatory are they gonna choose a leading lady??” 👑”The queen to take the crown will be the one who had the biggest, the firmest, the fullest…. LOAD OF BS TO DEAL WITH FROM THE MAN WHO PUT A RING ON IT 👑There is a reprise of Ex-wives but this time they change the lyrics to “welcome to the show to the coronation” 👑💛lol Aragon cut the reprise off and was like “It doesn’t matter, because I’m the winner” and then she asked the drummer for a beat 👑💛So with the beat, Aragon begins to tell her story, and the bass is strumming the baseline for no way 👑💛”Okay, I’m thinking its… a bit weird they want me to marry my… dead husbands brother”… 👑💛So then she continues recounting the story and she says “I saw lipstick on his collar and I’m like… okAY… so now he wants to annul our marriage and moves this sidekick into mY palace and wants me in a CONVENT” and she’s on a RANT so she pauses and breathes really heavily before smiling really widely and sighing “Now… I don’t think I look that good in a wimple so I said. No. Way.” And the song starts immediately after that 👑💛Idk what else to say except that Aragon was a total badass and Adrianna Hicks was a fucking QUEEN 👑💛When she asks him to name when she’s ever caused him pain, she’s all the way upstage on the same platform/semi circle that the band is on, and she’s on her knees kinda begging kinda. She pauses for a LONG time and waits for an answer and her face is smug when she’s like “no?” 👑💛She said “I had the most to deal with AND I hit that high c so that crown is mine,” 👑The other Queens stop her and are like theres another really REALLY IMPORTANT one… the one that overlapped with you who is she?? The famous one that people actually care about!” Then they all start chanting “The one you’ve been waiting for” and the lighting turns green,, while they’re chanting, Anne Boleyn looks really confused and shrugs and walks to the back of the stage and picks up her phone 👑💚The Queens eventually say “The temptresssssss” and they hold it out like a snake “ANNE BOLYEN” and they sing this very choir like 👑💚They all turn to her and Anne is just sitting there cackling at whatever is on her phone and she’s like “ Whoops sorry,,” and Don’t loose your head starts 👑💚Andrea Macasaet has SUCH a high pitched voice she was absolutely ADORABLE 👑💚When she said “get ahead” she smirked and everyone laughed 👑💚Instead of her voice going down on “Pret a Manger,” it got even higher almost In a mocking French accent. 👑💚She is pissing Aragon the fuck off this entire song lol 👑💚When she says “Are you blind??” She gestures between she and Aragon 👑💚 “What was I meant to do?” Is sung like a confused toddler lol 👑💚 So the bit where they play the wedding song, all the queens bow to her and she walks past, smiling and waving and she gets to the end of the line and is like “Hold up,, let me tell you how it went down HENRY’S OUT EVERY NIGHT …. Etc” 👑💚”Bro just shut up!” Instead of mate 👑💚She even asks the band what was she meant to do, and everyone is repeating her and she screams “OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY HE REALLY WANTS TO CUT MY HEAD OFF” 👑💚and then she grins again after a long silence and she’s all smug like “I guess he really liked my head…..” While kinda licking her lips lol 👑💚DEAR GOD HER RIFFS JESUS FUCKING HREHTTLTURHGUEHURL 👑💚And she was like “yeah… that was such a weekend… I like died… and it was so extra! So im clearly the winner. So now, I have to sing a song I wrote when I found out that Catherine of Aragon had died. Its called WEAR YELLOW TO A FUNERAL SING IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS. And the bass came in and Boleyn sings “Catherine was a massive C-” and the other Queens immediately shut her up 👑Aragon and Boleyn start arguing until Seymour is like “its my turn now…” 👑Everyone looks at het before they burst out laughing, telling her ‘bye’ and ‘girl, please’ 👑And Seymour is like yeah,, I was in love and I was really really lucky. 👑🖤 And Seymour goes into this really heartbreaking monologue about how she missed her songs future and how she had a picture of her family. She said that Henry was really sweet and that she loved him 👑Boleyn cuts her off and is like “yeahhhh,, there was this one really cute time where he, like, cut my head off :) 👑🖤Seymour said that Aragon and Boleyn were badasses. Then she said that she promised to always stay by his side and didn’t yell at him back like the other two because she loved him. Then she dedicated the song to him 👑🖤Heart of Stone started and honestly,,, its not my favorite song and I usually skip it. But mY GOODNESS. Abby Mueller is a fucking goddess wow. The amount of control she has on her voice is astounding 👑🖤(fun fact abt me— I have perfect pitch lol) they pitch changed it into A major and it transposes into B major which was SO BEAUTIFUL. It made me actually like the song lol 👑🖤Its not really eventful,, she just stands in the middle of the stage. 👑Seymour is like,, “what hurts more than a broken heart?” And Boleyn is like “A chopped off head” 👑Almost immediately after it transfers to Cleves and she’s like “soo he’s running out of options in England he had to expand his fields and adjust his location settings to find his next queen. We are Heading to Germany where he got the help of Han….. 👑At some point during the song, the other queens ran off stage to get their glasses and ruffs 👑They all run back on stage in their glasses and ruffs (Cleves still hasn’t said his last name yet) and they all whisper “Holbien” 👑WELCOME TO THE HOUSE 👑lol this song is SO funny… and Cleves is so fucking adorable (she was flossing at some point). The dancing was so… German…it was hilarious. 👑So after the song is done,, the girls still have their ruffs and glasses on and it kinda turns into a mobile app like tinder.. 👑Basically there are two queens before Cleves and they all stand up and walk downstage as they are introduced, they smile and their picture is taken and they wait for about two seconds before Henry swipes left or right. 👑The two in front of Cleves are played by Parr and Howard. 👑After Cleves is selected their is a Holbein reprise 👑❤️The other queens run off taking the ruffs and Cleves is left on the stage sighing comically several times. She’s at the back of the stage sitting on a makeshift stone 👑❤️”Its the tragic story of a princess-educated, savvy, young- deemed ugly by an ulcer-ridden, wheezing, winkled man 20 years her senior.” 👑❤️WHATS A MORE DEVASTATING FATE THAN BEING FORCED INTO A BEAUTIFUL PALACE IN RICHMOND WITH MORE MONEY THAN I COULD EVER SPEND AND NO MAN TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH IT 👑❤️Get down is also key changed 👑❤️When she sings “I’m the Queen of the castle” she is skipping across the stage 👑❤️When she gives her fur to the footman, she actually takes off her coat and hands it to one of the queens. The crowd went crazy and she’s like “guys stop,’ and like acting all shy but secretly enjoying it-she says “Okurrrrrrrrr” . Then she’s like “AS YOU WERE” and everyone is quiet lol 👑❤️the part where it slows down and she’s like “SIT DOWNNN YOU DIRTTTY RrrrrrASCALLL” she opera sings it and I shat myself 👑❤️she uses her microphone as a lute lol 👑❤️YOU CANT (nope) STOP (nuh-uh) YOU CANT STOP ME 👑❤️At some point she squeezes her boob. I love her. 👑❤️after she kills us all by belting that last note she points to a girl in the front row and is like “YOU IN THE PINK DRESS!” and she gestures for her to stand up. And the girl stands up and they bop together with Cleves ad libbing in the background 👑❤️Eventually she says “Okay sugar this is my song, GET DOWN” 👑❤️And then after a moment of silence she’s like “So yeah it was really tragic…” 👑Aragon is like that doesn’t sound difficult at all and Ceves is like “oh… yeah.. I probably won’t win this thing… WELP BACK TO THE PALACE!” 👑the queens argue more and honestly it’s iconic 👑Seymour is yelling at Aragon and her voice is so loud and Cleves interrupts her and is like “guys,… I have the plague” and they all gasp and she’s like “HAHA JUST KIDDING MY LIFES AMAZING” they roll their eyes and Parr is like “our next queen! K HOWARD!” And everyone is like who??? 👑Aragon is like “ The least relevant Catherine,,” and Boleyn is like “Yeahhh i get it and I still don’t care,,,” 👑Howard is like “You’re right… I need all the help I can compete. What happened to you was terrible,, and so were you songs,,” Then she proceeded to roast everyone. She says “Anne you obviously had it worse I mean you lost your head……. Oh wait…..” 👑💗And then she says “but seriously Anna, getting rejected for your looks really sucks…. cant relate…I’m really hot…. So yeah. I can compete like this” or smthing and then all you wanna do starts. 👑💗At the beginning of the song the queens touch her everywhere and she leans into it willingly 👑💗Blowing the flute,, she winks at the audience and when she says C-D she puts her hand in front of her crotch and squeezes. 👑💗 “There was this guy… Francis and he asked me to be his little piece of aaaasssssss…istant! 👑💗The song goes from upbeat to upsetting very very quickly after Francis she starts to become less trusting and she gets more disoriented as the show goes on. 👑💗”Apparently men only hire women to get them into their private chamber… times were different then…” 👑💗When she says “He says we have this connection,” about Henry Seymour comes from behind her and touches her stomach — all you can see is her hand touching her sensually. She looks a little surprised and then she’s like “I guess its not so different..” 👑💗By the time we get to Thomas Culpepper she is flustered and VERY uncomfortable. The girls are all touching her now and she looks down and stares at their hand before pushing them away and finishing the end of the song. she keeps pushes them away but they keep coming back. She looks utterly heartbroken and you can see her unraveling. 👑💗THAT RIFF WAS SO GGHRSILGBRLGKJBJL 👑💗she screams “WHEN WILL ENOUGH BE ENOUGH” as they keep touching her and she fails as she pushes them away. 👑💗Eventually she gets them off but she ends up by herself on the stage with her face facing up and a dim pink spotlight is on her. 👑💗There is a chilling silence and then she’s smiling and says ‘YEAH and then I was beheaded and I won this competition!” 👑Then they get into another argument. Boleyn starts talking about how her beheading was more relevant because Henry humiliated her more and Aragon was like,,, um I won the humiliation game and she counts her mistresses 👑Then they start yelling about the miscarriages they had and Boleyn says she has three and Aragon says “You know what Anne BO-LOSER I HAD FIVE” and Parr is like “this is not okay, don’t compare miscarriages, thats hella insensitive” and they push her to the center and tell her to sing her song 👑Theres a random baseline again and Parr looks like she’s about to start singing but she stops and says,,”I’m good,” and tries to go off stage. They all accuse her of being a sore loser because she survived and knows that she had no chance of winning. 👑Parr is like,,, NO its pitting us against each other and the queens all groan and make fun of her and she’s like okay,, imma sing the song then. And Katherine Howard says “Are you sure?? Are you sure you dont want to stick to backing vocals where you belong?” 👑💙And Parr softly says “Queens take a seat,” before turning to the pianist and saying “Can you give me a Bb maj7, please?” 👑💙Parr shuts down all the queens and says her life wasn’t all rainbows because she survived. And she talks about her love tom, and I never realized that the song is a letter to tom. She starts off “Dear Tom, You know I love you boy,” 👑💙 Anna Uzele was so fucking good. And Tbh,, this is my least favorite song so I don’t remember much about the staging (I’m sorry) 👑💙Side note,, parr is such a badass and an amazing woman 👑At the end of the song, she turns to the queens and is like “without Henry we all disappear ,” and Boleyn is like “I don’t get it” and parr asks “How does anyone know who we are” and Boleyn is like “mY SiX fInGeRs-“ before Aragon cuts her off and is like “Put it away, baby” 👑Parr then asks Henry the 7 and 6’s wives names and nobody can answer. “but, when we get together as a group-“ Boleyn cuts her off and is like “EVERYONE NOTICES THAT JANE CAN’T DANCE!” “NO WE COMPARE OURSELVES” 👑when Boleyn finally gets it she explains the situation like she’s an encyclopedia and it was so funny and fast and oMG 👑”UGH if we had realized this before we started we could have done something else like make a fake competition to show everyone how messed up comparing us is and then we could reclaim our story and all become the leading ladies…” “:/ and they are all saying this dialogue its just split up and I dont remember it very well 👑IF ONLY WE HAD THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE 👑then they look at each other and smirk at the audience before reprising Parr’s song as “We don’t need your love,” 👑Which was so good bc THEY DON’T NEED HENRY’S LOVE YES 👑Then they point out “We might only be remember for marrying the same man,, but why does anyone give a sh- who he is? It’s because of his,,” then they all harmonize ’SIIIIIIX WIVES’ 👑AND WE ALL HAVE A ROYAL HAPPY EVER AFTER but Boleyn cuts Seymour off and is like “But we didn’t” 👑then they go onto explain how none of them had happy endings and they’re like,, but we can rewrite them! So they do and that leads into Six which is such a soft song. 👑Six, actually starts off very slowly. It speeds up after they say “we’re six” 👑It was such an energy ending I was speechless and gold confetti poured down on them and OMG I was shaken to my core.

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shabba-zams · 4 years

Text

I'M NO MANIAC

Hold big regard for kinship, tradition and culture, I could give a lecture

I'm sky high - herbivore, like a turkey vulture I'm a carnivore

Canibal, I mean omnivore coz I love greens, like Popeye And Spinach, I lick bean

Flick flick, root Chakra, keep you grounded, kiss your forehead, illumination

Wham bam, burn incense this instant

Smoke in house, reminisce about my late aunt, Eugenia

Healing from a heartbreak of a love that never happened

Should never happen, wait what just happened?

You a bad bitch, downward doggy, hit it from the back, is that good B?

Meow-moo, look at that arch, Doja, Cat-Cow mi amor

Heart's aching, beneath I'm hurting although surface looks perfect

Instantly regretting the mistake I made, egghead getting laid

I was broke, couldn't think straight, Im still great, it's just that I hate

Constantly stressing, hope you not late, I'm Wylin, red fox

Sorry mate, don't put me on the spot unless we hot box

You a hot mess, you burn, guilt trip, in hell I burn, 12 stroke soul snatcher, soul searching,N2O, inhale, I burn, I'm trippin

My goodness, Zulu goddess, Tsonga royalty in her DNA, your highness hello, hi, my love I profess

Pussy power tricking, that tightness, finesse crazy like madness, she drippin

Her cookie jar I'm Double dippin, like yes ya, I praise ya, I'm smitten

You praise Ja, pet name for your small pussy... Poor lil kitten

Obsessed With fitness, admire her loyalty, I stay under her spell

First We gel, then repel, we then rebel, plz say you could not tell I fell for you girl!

I confess, your strange quirks remind me of my old ex

Guardian angel, I see your halo, okay bye! In darkness you my star

Naledi always shine bright, never dim light, eyes can adjust right?

No girl, tell me how could I not fall for you girl?

If I see you all day and night? Medicate then meditate

Last and first light I see you, it's hard to wake me up, ICU

Namaste, send u love and light. Hugging u gud nyt then imma go unless it's midnight, my pants is tight right and u hug me tight tight cutie, in my ear, QTip, u whisper get the light, deep throat gimme the green light, tonight you looking so tasty

It's not right, lockdown got me all thirsty, see, I'm nasty

I'll eat you out, gimme a big tip, face chair, take a sit please

Gangsta champagne, notorious bubbles I sip sip, are you pleased?

You a tall glass of sexy B, I mean u sassy B, sexy beast I gotta drink, drunk

In love with your positive energy, you love the inner me and you know I'm not the enemy, I love you

Juju, like bad energy, shoo shoo, telling me to go, I don't go

Feeling ur feng shui imbalance, tryinna find balance, yoga

So much green in my blood stream, feelin like Hulk or Yoda

I'm 1 with the force, a gulf stream directing ur flow, go

Heavy flow that weigh a ton, period. I go deep, you flow deep like the Nile, you lovin it

Tid bit in denial, plz don't judge unless you take a 9 mile walk if the shoe fit

Wise mentor, needed to blow off steam, oh no you make me sing, I never meant to...

I'm spiritual, Ultralight beam, living the life of Pablo, green

I see no light, stuck in the dark, this don't feel right

Fight what I feel, fight! I know you like what I write, right? I'm still Steve like Biko, because I write what I like

You're spiritual, Ivy crown it'll be alright, fight!

Where you been? Spiritual journey, Wrote you a song of love, don't panic, it's platonic agape kind

You're kind, im sorry, please forgive me, God bless us

Never meant to sex ya, sext ya, yes ya I never meant to

Hurt ya, my day 1 let me be in your team, I'm your hype man and you my wing man, who knew, man?

I'm a new man, never wanna be in u ma'am, that's Truman, like Harry

Like Harriet, You talk truth ma'am, ur woke now, mental slavery chain breaker

Lead, take leash, give me my freedom, Tubman. Ass like Baartman, I'm joking, I'm through man!

Is it true man? You got a new man?

I'm glad you found uThando & Peace!

I see your glow in the dark , I watch you grow, from head to toe

Lock down, No sexercise, just exercise, oblique workout, body shaping up, you shake shit up

Look down, fvck shit up, I fantasize under the mistletoe, kiss kiss that phat pet peeve,

I mean the size of that cameltoe, kiss kiss like it's NYs Eve

Family Feud like Steve, We lip lock, she bad bad like Eve

Stuck with you like gridlock, bad bitch my ride or die!

The love you show, I dunno who to tell that u just ring my bell

Blue balls, plain torture, ungshaya ding dong, that just rings wrong

Playing mind games like ping pong, saw my dp then ask for my dick pic like "Big Z u got big dick print"

I tell her to quit playin and show her it's just resting, I'm a grower

Picture a Big black gun in your hand, click glock

Lick big black cock in my hand, and get a big tip

Love your big tats,small tits, nip slip, vrm vrm, you own me like pinkslip

4 play lick clit, that pink pink

Big lie like, just the tip, truth is I just wanted to hit twice, then dip twice like, dip dip

Double Pussy grip, like grip grip

Our late night tap dance routine like

Double tap like, tip-clit-grip-grip, skip, tip-clit-grip-grip

Sending mixed signals, wearing no bra, black tank top, Grey gym pants, exciting my BBC then saying NO BRA!

Apple bong is crack bong, big flop wearing your pink flip flops, I need a drink,J walk drunk, hit, bong, bang, drive, buy smoke, fly, sky, high five, YouTube The Fives, whats the matter? GBV

All lives including those you call low lives matter, no 1 deserves murder.

Deep chats kid, Katt Williams crack me up, have a break Kit Kat

I'm a lil sad but real glad u not mad at me brick brack, red fox

Need my quick fix, Red on Netflix like Raymond, cross you off my hitlist, at least at last, the blacklist, NBC

No chick flicks miss, unless you aiming to get this, BBC

I don't aim, shoot shot once and don't miss, easy, ABC

Cupid tryinna shoot me dead but misz, shit shot, no Mrs, thank God

Thot thought she a hot shot coz she smoke pot, no BS she not hot

Cold as horse shit that's not hot, bust a nut, I might not

I'm a lit lad who thinks they a big bad, Wolf, with a sick head

You heard? Sometimes it's hard when u in my bed, think with other head instead like getting head

Play dead after I beat meat, you knock-knock, I'm cumin, you come in, your bad timing is not charming

I see myself in you, pun intended, idea planted in my head

For real tho, I see your hoeish ways, long gone are my hoeish days

Sometimes I think u poison like Ivy, I'm batman, no avengers

Scavengers, a mad woman and a bad man, Savages in our own league

First punch throwers, they hate us, crack bong hitters, they not us, we avenge us,

You lead, I school ya, screw ya, liquids in ur insides like IV

Drip drip, said fuck it, big deal, do u even care how I feel? Bad state of mind, took shrumz, now I'm havin a bad trip

Craving a road trip, cruze down memory lane, replay bad clip, is it weird that I loved that silhouette video? Press play

Get liquid withit

Going toe-to-toe, I kill and bury Big Trill, made my 1st mil

Then blew it, dead lyricist, I'm just a ghost writer

I see changes, a stoner girl turn to a rave girl as the nyt ages

I once told her, trust the rock of ages like John

Serial killer with rage on Pages, I was angry at God like Sean

Now i'm easy like solving for X- Kid'o,

That's annoying, ward off tiny mosquito

Go against me, that's a non starter, kiss my ass lips

I talk shit, no stutter or slight lisp like L-Tido

In the city of gold its all or nothing, that's a no brainer

No brain huh? Black lip bastard, faith like mustard seed

Don't call me bastard, transform to Luke Cage then hit rib Cage like

Nicholas, can't stop me like an urban legend... Ghost rider

I sound fictitious like ghost busters, but I'm quite real like Klingon

I stick like glue, here's a clue:

Day of the week: Monday

Feeling: baby Blue and itchy

Scratch my balls I'm jiggy, sweet melanin black queen like B

Fluent in your love language B, catch 22, paradoxical

Hypocritical, stereotypical, philosophical.

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nadiineross · 6 years

Note

Chlodine with kids!!!!!! Maybe Nadine’s little siblings I can imagine her having a huge family. Or Chloe having a secret son or daughter from her more wild days and Nadine not finding out for like years and being like !!!

imma do nadines family bc my thoughts on chlodine + kids are Complicated and also someone else wrote a fic abt chloe w/ a secret kid im waiting on an update !!! lots of e•mo•tions

this got rly long

Chloe Frazer is, without a doubt, an only child. Nadine had never assumed anything else and would’ve been very surprised if she learned otherwise, but as it stands, this is not the case.

Nadine, on the other hand, has four siblings. She’s the oldest, having the responsibility of inheriting Shoreline and bearing the brunt of her father’s expectations. He wasn’t a bad father, all things considered. Sure, he had his faults like everyone does, but he never neglected her nor did he seek to pressure Nadine into a future with Shoreline. That was all on her and, upon realizing this, he had only tried to push her into it further, to support her.

In the end, it didn’t really pan out, huh?

No one in her family blamed her for the loss of Shoreline. In fact, they had all tried to pitch in when Nadine had truly hit rock bottom and did their best to make her feel better. The incessant phone calls and hugging, she accepted. Their money? She did not.

Now, two years after the fact, she finds that she’s much happier, lighter, in her new career path and her family seems to agree.

“Nadine!” her brother, Junior, hollers the moment she steps through the door. “You look great!”

He’s the second child, only two years younger than her at 30, and the one she is the closest to because of it.

She barely manages a greeting before she’s engulfed in a tight bear hug. Quickly, another weight is wrapped around her back and one of her legs is ensnared by a pair of smaller arms. Like moths to a light, her family.

The compulsory family reunion in their old family home in South Africa is something Nadine secretly looks forward to, though she would never say that aloud, lest she wants to be razzed to death by her siblings.

After Junior comes Mia, who turned 29 only last week (Nadine had flowers delivered and mailed her a beautiful bracelet she’d found snooping through old Greek ruins), and finally Grace, 24.

As it turns out, it’s Grace that barreled into her first. Behind her, her mother fusses with her hair and around her leg is Junior’s 6-year-old son, Blessing.

“Ma,” Nadine croaks out around a mouthful of Grace’s hair. “Leave me alone, I’m going to the barber next week.”

Her mother does not leave her alone. “You don’t call for three weeks and this is the first thing you say to me?”

Grace lets go, snickering at Nadine’s apprehension. Nadine glares.

After Junior and Mia get their turns hugging her, she ducks away from her mother’s grabbing, muttering a quick “love you!”, and scoops Blessing up into her arms. He instantly shrieks with glee, trying to claw up her arms and settle on her shoulders.

Junior’s wife, Vivienne, a plump Filipina with enough wit to beat Grace in an argument, presses a brief kiss to Nadine’s cheek as she passes by.

“Don’t mess with Auntie’s hair, boy,” she says, sternly. “Grandma will make you do the dishes.”

Blessing giggles, clearly unaware of what’s going on. Nadine rolls her eyes. “All right, all right. Where’s Rose?”

“She’s at a friend’s birthday party. It’s a sleepover. Apparently turning 10 is a really, really big deal.”

“2 months until you have to throw that party for her,” Nadine says with a laugh.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

It’s then that Mia cuts in, only pausing to poke Blessing on the nose, and stands directly in front of Nadine just to annoy her. “Viv, I need pregnancy advice. Is it normal having to pee this much? I hate it. This is why I didn’t drink enough water when I was in high school.”

Well, that’s her cue. She elbows Mia sharply in the back before hurrying into the kitchen where her mother and Junior are to avoid retaliation.

They’re preparing to set the table, so she makes to hand Blessing off to Junior except he does an impressive job of wrapping himself around her back like a sloth on a branch. Junior bellows out a laugh.

“He likes you more than me.”

Nadine pulls a face. “Ma likes you more than me, so it evens out.”

Nadine’s mother thwacks her over the head. “I don’t play favourites.” Grace whisks by, picking up the plates as she does. Her mother follows after her with the rest of the plates. “Never mind, Grace is my favourite.”

Junior makes an indignant sound from the back of his throat.

“Can—Can you take a picture?” Nadine asks, gently removing Blessing’s entire hand from her face. “I’d like to show my— Chloe.”

“Sure,” Junior says, raising an eyebrow. “Your Chloe?”

“Shut up,” she huffs.

Blessing chooses this exact moment to sling himself over her shoulder, making her yelp and grab onto his arms to steady him. He laughs, waving his fists in the air like he has won something.

Chloe will love that picture.

“Eish, what are you feeding him?”

Junior tucks his phone away and grins a boyish grin. “Love.” Nadine wrinkles her nose. “Viv learned how to make some kind of pasta and he’s obsessed with it. We have leftovers still in our fridge.”

He stops disjointedly, in a way that makes it clear he expects a reaction from Nadine.

She frowns. “Okay?”

“Where’s Chloe?”

“Australia, with her mum. She flies in on Sunday.”

Junior hums and pushes a salt shaker with a single finger, looking too nonchalant to actually be nonchalant. “You and Chloe are welcome to come over for pasta, if you want and if you’re still around next weekend.”

Nadine, jaded from years of being the oldest sibling, is instantly wary, narrowing her eyes at him. “What’s the catch?”

“There is no catch.”

“Liar.”

Junior huffs, plucking Blessing out of her arms and setting him onto the island. “Seriously. No catch.”

“Okay,” she says slowly, cautiously, “We’ll come over for dinner next Friday?”

“Great! Show up at 6:00.” He claps his hands together. “Reheat the pasta and have a glass of wine, on me. Rose needs help with math homework and Blessing likes to watch Kim Possible, we have DVDs. Bedtimes at 8:30; Blessing usually passes out earlier. We’ll be back midnight at the latest.”

“You said there was no catch!”

“Does spending time with your beloved niece and nephew really count as a ‘catch’?” he asks, snooty, with air quotes to top it all off.

Nadine sighs. “Yes, but we’ll be there.”

She loves family reunions, really. Especially the fact that it’s only compulsory once a year, barring Hanukkah.

Chloe has met her siblings and her mother before. Not during the family reunion due to unfortunate timing, but on separate occasions over the year and a half they’ve been working together. She has never met Rose or Blessing.

Junior and Viv like her enough to have a group chat with her (one that Nadine has tried to join, but had been ruthlessly denied entry by her partner after a sharp cackle), so she’s not surprised that the first thing Chloe says to her after catapulting herself into Nadine’s arms at the airport is: “Heard I’m a babysitter. Try not to crush on me, china.”

Nadine had laughed into her neck at that, made a quip about how she smelled like an aeroplane.

Now, they’re on Junior’s porch, seeing the happy couple off on their date night.

“What are your intentions with Viv?” Chloe jokes, nudging Junior with a conspiratorial wink. Viv snorts.

“Curfew’s eleven,” Nadine calls after them.

“They grow up so fast.”

“Ja.” Nadine smiles then, leaning against the door so Chloe can pass through first. “Ready?”

“To eat good food, drink, and watch 2 kids for a couple of hours? Not that hard, is it?”

Nadine bends to take off her shoes, about to reply with something smart, but Blessing comes pounding down the hallway, blowing right past Chloe and taking an impressive leap onto Nadine’s back. He snakes his arms around her neck and wiggles his legs until she stands.

Nadine gives Chloe a look.

“All right, maybe I misjudged.” Chloe leans closer in, curious, face startlingly close to Nadine’s. “Hey, I’m Chloe. You’re Blessing, right?”

Blessing squints, puckers his lips, then gives one decisive nod, chin digging into Nadine’s shoulder. “This is Auntie.”

Chloe’s face dissolves into an endeared beam. “I know her!”

Nadine tries very hard not to flush out of pure adoration. She’s not sure if it works because Chloe doesn’t mention it.

“Where’s your sister, B?”

“Here,” Rose says, skidding down the hallway in her socks. “Who’re you?”

Chloe holds out a hand which Rose takes and shakes enthusiastically. “Chloe. I work with your Auntie.”

When she turns, Nadine furrows her eyebrows, hands tightening imperceptibly under Blessing’s legs. She tilts her head when Nadine brushes by, suddenly feeling bereft.

Before Nadine can disappear into a room, Chloe stops her with a hand on her stomach.

“Don’t tell, but I think she has a crush on me,” Chloe stage whispers to Rose. “I told her not to.”

Rose’s eyes grow wider. “Do you like her back?”

Chloe stands then, smiling at Nadine brilliantly. “I do.”

This time, Nadine’s certain she’s blushing and judging by how Chloe’s started to leer at her, she must look redder than usual.

Before Rose can ask any more questions, Nadine hikes Blessing higher up and moves towards the end of the hallway.

“C’mon, Rose. Let’s watch some TV while Chloe heats dinner up,” she says, jerking her head towards the kitchen door for Chloe. “Your dad said you need help with math?”

Rose lets out a very loud and long groan at that.

After Nadine is directed to the collection of Kim Possible DVDs and sets it up, she sends Rose off to grab her homework. Then, she pries Blessing away from his Barbies and props him against one hip.

Chloe’s humming a tune and opening random drawers when Nadine finds her in the kitchen. She’s got an apron hanging from her neck, even though she’s literally just popping something into the microwave and opening a bottle.

Blessing reaches for the counter, so she sets him down. “Chloe, I’m hungry!”

Chloe spins and catches Nadine’s eye briefly. “Yes, yes,” she says, “give me a minute, love. Impatience runs in the family, I guess.”

Nadine chuckles, crossing the distance and tugging the loose ends of the apron. “You’re one to talk.”

“Oh, hush.” She leans back a little, into Nadine’s warmth.

She turns after a beat, corners of her mouth tipped up, and catches Nadine’s mouth in a kiss. It’s nice, for about two seconds, then Blessing starts drawing out an “eww” and smacking his palms on the table.

Chloe pulls away, eyes still half-lidded. “I was gonna say they were adorable, but…”

Nadine huffs a laugh and narrows her eyes at Blessing. “What are you complaining about?”

“Rose does that when mama kisses daddy,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Hm,” she says, “keep doing that, champ.”

Chloe barks out a laugh, lightly slapping Nadine’s arm. Nadine grabs her wrists, kissing her chastely before pulling away completely.

“The forks are behind you.”

“Thanks,” Chloe says, not moving and hauling her back in. Nadine looks unimpressed.

Blessing groans again.

“What does the apron say, soldier?” KISS THE COOK. That’s probably Junior’s. She grimaces at it with great disdain. “So?”

In response, Nadine untangles herself from Chloe and places Blessing into his usual spot at her hip.

“Ah, figures.”

Rose is waiting in the living room when they all return, pasta in hand; one bowl each for the kids and a big plate for Chloe and Nadine to share. Fewer dishes to do this way. Plus, Nadine only has one hand to spare, the other keeping Blessing from wriggling onto the floor.

After setting the bowls down, Chloe presses play on the first episode and puts the volume lower so Rose can concentrate.

Poised over the couch, Nadine cranes her neck to watch Blessing tuck his face into her back, holding on stubbornly.

”Off! Off, off, off.” After a moment, he grabs tighter onto her shoulders. “No?”

Blessing shakes his head. “No.”

“You asked for it.” She grabs onto his legs for safety and starts to hop in place—once, twice, three times. Blessing squeals in her ear. On the fourth time, she drops into a squat, so that his legs are on the couch and scrapes him off her back. “Time for dinner, B.”

He pouts, eyes wide. “Aw, boo.” It takes her a hot second to resist that. Atrocious.

She pushes the lime green bowl and matching plastic fork into his hands. “If you want to grow taller than your sister, you gotta eat up.”

When she looks over to Chloe, she’s on the floor next to Rose with her homework out on the coffee table some ways away from the couch. She’s watching Nadine, jaw cupped in her palm, with a soft look.

Nadine, self-conscious, looks away and scoots closer to Rose’s other side. “What?”

“Nothing,” Chloe says after a beat, bending closer to look at Rose’s paper. Almost immediately after, she touches Rose’s hand before she can write something down and quietly points out her mistake.

They get through two episodes in relative peace before Blessing decides that he’s done with his dinner and bonks the bottom of the bowl lightly on Nadine’s head. Chloe stifles a laugh at Nadine’s exaggerated outrage.

She takes the bowl from Blessing, towering over him as he giggles madly into a pillow.

“This is my shield,” he declares.

Nadine crosses her arms. “That’s not fair. I don’t have a sword.”

“Victory!”

Chloe doesn’t try hiding her delight this time.

It’s only another Kim Possible episode later that Blessing calms down enough to sit still on the couch. Nadine scrapes his leftovers onto their shared plate.

Rose has picked her entire bowl clean and has been sipping at a glass of milk Chloe had gotten for her when Nadine had been busy entertaining Blessing. When Nadine offers her a second serving, she just shakes her head, brows furrowed at the question on her paper.

Finally, she turns her attention to Chloe who is, funnily enough, engrossed with the Kim Possible episode playing.

She jerks her head up when Nadine places her hand on her back, startled.

“Go eat on the couch, I’ll watch Rose.” She promptly shoves the plate into Chloe’s hands and plops down onto the ground, leaving no room for argument.

“Last one,” Rose says, tapping her pencil on the table.

Nadine leans over her arm to look at the paper. “Do you need any help?”

“Nope,” she replies, popping the p. She scribbles something down, then crosses it out. “Auntie?”

“Ja?”

“I think Chloe likes you,” she whispers, glancing back at Chloe who’s using Blessing’s head as an armrest while he squirms under her, mouth open in his best attempt at a roar.

Nadine tries not to smile, turning back to Rose. She fails. “You mean like-like?”

Rose puts her pencil down and scowls at her. “I’m not 8. I can say love.”

“You’re 9.”

Rose scoffs, pointedly going back to her homework.

Nadine feels nervous all of a sudden, and bizarrely, embarrassed. She’s 32, Chloe 35, and they have yet to say the L-word. Not that she can presume to know how Chloe feels, but she knows how she feels.

They’ve been officially together just over a year now. The months before it, they had spent sleeping with each other sporadically when they met up for a job. Back then, Nadine knew how she felt too. Her feelings hadn’t been quite as deep as they were now — maybe fondness. She felt that whatever they had, if they both allowed it, would last and for a very long time.

A year, they’ve lasted so far. She knows all the little things now. Chloe’s morning routine, her weird figures of speech, which side she sleeps on. She knows the important things and the unimportant things that Nadine cherishes equally to the former.

They have lasted and strengthened, taking Nadine’s feelings lightyears past simple fondness. She wonders sometimes, considering the trajectory, if she can find the words to describe it if her feelings stretched past love. For now, that word will do.

She loves Chloe, this she has known for months. Chloe certainly likes her in a way that extends past the shallow.

She drags a hand down her forehead. It’s one thing to think it, another to confront it head-on, but Nadine Ross has never been a coward. Cautious, yes, but not cowardly.

She puts her chin on the table, watching the top of Rose’s pencil wave in the air as she writes.

“I like Chloe too,” Nadine says, voice low because if Chloe overheard, she would never hear the end of it.

Rose finishes what she’s written with a flourish, then copies Nadine, putting her chin on the table. “Only like?”

“More than,” Nadine replies, pausing to gather her courage. Then, scandalously: “Love.”

“Ooh, Auntie,” Rose teases, mocking, in a whiny tone that you’d expect from a pre-teen boy sneering “cooties!”

“I thought you were mature,” says Nadine, reaching out to poke Rose’s cheek.

Rose turns her nose up. “I’m only 9.”

Nadine laughs. Rose is so obviously Junior and Viv’s child, she can’t help the sudden urge to hug her.

She gets away with swinging Rose into the air and carrying her over her shoulder, running twice around the room as she laughs and lets Nadine do this without complaint. Afterwards, they collapse onto the couch where Chloe’s got Blessing in her lap, the both of them watching the screen intently.

Rose gets comfortable, settled between Chloe and Nadine, while Nadine tries to sneak pictures of them all together.

She gets away with two before Chloe cuts away from Ron Stoppable in his tree house and looks directly at the camera. She gives Nadine a winning grin, tightening her arms around Blessing’s middle.

By 8:30, Blessing’s dozing off on Chloe’s sternum, snoring lightly. Similarly, Rose is nodding off against Nadine’s arm.

Sharing a look, they both get up, carrying a Ross in their arms. Nadine shushes Rose when she jolts awake, instinctively rocking on the balls of her feet in an attempt to get Rose to fall back asleep.

They go up the stairs to another hallway, Nadine leading Chloe to a door that has the letter R painted on it in baby blue. She sets Rose down in her bed, pulling the blanket over her shoulders and turning the A/C off in case it gets colder at night.

“The night light,” Chloe whispers. Nadine flips it on before ushering Chloe out, towards the door with B painted in mauve.

Chloe does the motions: tucking Blessing in, checking the A/C, and finding the night light.

Nadine leans against the doorframe, waiting for her to finish with the curtains. It’s weird, seeing Chloe like this. Not in a bad way, no. Nadine finds that she can watch Chloe do this for hours, fascinated.

There’s a warmth blossoming in her chest, the kind she feels when she’s come home for the first time in a while for Hanukkah and her family is gathered around the room, closer together because it’s cold outside.

Nadine is not entirely sure what she’s supposed to do with this.

In the end, Chloe finishes up and interrupts her introspection, shooing her away so she can close the door. As is natural by now, Chloe grabs her hand and gives it a pull towards the stairs. Nadine grips back before she can drop her hand away.

They don’t speak until they’re back in the living room, Kim Possible still playing on low volume. They won’t leave until Junior and Viv get back, in case the kids wake up again.

Out of nowhere, Chloe makes a thoughtful noise after easing onto the couch with a sigh.

Nadine examines her face, eyebrows hiking up when Chloe’s eyes flick to meet hers and discovers that they are arrestingly determined.

She uses her free hand to pull Nadine in for a languid kiss. It’s fairly innocent for them, so Nadine’s unsurprised when Chloe settles back into the couch after they part, focused on the TV.

“Liefie,” she says, waiting for Chloe to look over. “I think I like the babysitter.”

Chloe chuckles, pressing into Nadine’s side. “That’s convenient. I think I like the babysitter, too.”

It’s quiet then. Nadine’s content like this.

They get through three and a half episodes of Kim Possible before Chloe makes a really undignified noise at something that happens on screen and Nadine has to hide a laugh behind a cough. Chloe catches it and scowls at her.

“Hey now, Ross, that wasn’t—”

“Calm down, I won’t tell anyone that you’re a die hard Kim Possible fan.”

Chloe harrumphs, sprawling onto Nadine more so that she’s half on top of her.

Nadine winds her arm around Chloe’s waist and turns so her nose brushes Chloe’s cheek.

“Liefie,” she says again.

“Mhm,” Chloe replies distractedly.

“I love you.”

Chloe stiffens, and in quick succession, relaxes, tenses, and relaxes again.

She turns her head, swaying back so she can see Nadine’s face properly. Then, she smiles, eyes wrinkled at the corners and all, and says, “I love you too.”

Nadine can’t help but kiss her. This one is longer, more earnest.

And Chloe pulls away, sucking in a breath. “We should pick this up when we go back to the apartment.”

“Self-control? For once?” Nadine says against her jaw.

“I want to watch my favourite show: Kim Possible,” Chloe replies, voice light with mirth. “You’re just here for the commercial breaks.”

“It’s a DVD.”

Chloe blindly pats her face, mhms absentmindedly, and accepts a kiss to her cheek.

Nadine loves her for it.

#chlodine #chlodinefics #yall wanna validate me w some comments? i read all ur tags lmao #anyway! SHUT_UPPPPPPPP.jpg i LOVE them . me writing this: god i wish i died #anyway i hav that chloe on death bed prompt to get to but its 12am so maybe tomorrow #anonymous #ask

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hidewari · 6 years

Text

Fiery Desire

Here it is, you weirdos. The hidekane fanfic I wrote when I was 15 years old and titled “Fiery Desire (Pokétrainer!Hide x LordFührer!Chamander x NippleSatan!Kaneki)”

I’m not even gonna write a summary, this entire thing is just a journey. Also keep in mind I was 15 years old so there’re some really immature jokes in here lmfao

There’re also really weird continuity errors, like someone gets decapitated at one point and then is for some reason not decapitated in the next paragraph.

Hide walked along the dusty path surrounded by lush, green grass and small leafy bushes. The sky was a clear, bright blue which stretched out for miles, illuminated by the rays of the blinding sun. A squirtle trotted happily along by Hide's side, his eyes closed in a typical, joyful anime expression. Needless to say, it was rather difficult for the Squirtle to see and, as a result of this, he had walked into quite a few trees and his nose was bleeding from the impact.

He didn't seem to be bothered by the simplest of things and was extremely laid back, a trait inherited very much from his trainer. Hide had found the Squirtle making sweet love to a young looking birch tree (don't worry, it was consensual). The squirtle was a dendrophile and had been extremely horny at the time. Hide had noticed that this was a regular practice for Squirtle as he came to the tree every single day, in both senses of the word. However, one day, the Squirtle had arrived at the foot of his beloved to see a horrific sight; his sexy birch girlfriend had been cut down. Hide remembered Squirtle falling to his knees and crying tears of loss and despair. Hide could not help but feel sympathy for the Squirtle. Being a gerontophile himself, Hide remembered how torn he was when his grandmother passed away.

Anyway, Hide had already acquired six of the seven badges in Kanto and was on his way to the fire gym in Cinnabar Island. Hide snapped out of his thoughts as the end of the forest drew closer. At the end of the forest, light poured in from a gap between the trees, however, this light was not from the sun. As the end drew closer, what was on the other grew clearer in sight. Behind the opening stood a towering gate. It was massive and black and that sounded really wrong. Someone seemed to have graffitied a penis in red spray paint on the gate. Hide pushed open the dark gates to behold the deep depths of hell. Thousands of statues of the lord Shrek littered the area. Burning flames engulfed them and a long winding path led to the centre. Hide wearily made his way along the path, making sure his squirtle was following close behind.

As he approached the centre of hell, he noticed the very thing he had been searching for, right there in plain sight; the fire gym. He approached the door and took a deep breath.

"We got this buddy, there's no way a fire leader is going to beat a water trainer!" Encouraged Hide with great confidence.

"Besides, you have no weaknesses man, I mean, water types are supposed to be weak to grass types but you fuck trees all the time! You're a dendrophillic God." Just as Hide was about to push the door open, a giant tentacle burst through the door with amazing force, throwing Hide back into a Shrek statue. Three extra tentacles smashed through the walls of the building, one snatching up the squirtle and the other grabbing Hide. At that moment, a white haired man walked slowly out of the gym. He looked up at Hide.

"Holy shit, Kaneki, what're you doing here? Don't tell me you got the badge before me, dammit." Kaneki looked darkly up at Hide with his demonic eyes. Hide's eyes widened as he realise that Kaneki's pupils were not pupils at all, no, they were...

NIPPLES

"Do ̴m̧y eỳes tu̶r̴ņ ͟you͢ ̛on̨ Hide? ͞M҉y̧ ̀n̶ipp̶l͠es a̷r̀e̡ ̴Sa̵ta҉n͠.͏ ͠I҉n̢ ͡ord̵er̵ ̕t͢o͡ r̴e͢c͜eiv̡e͘ t̛he g͢ym ba̵d̸gę,͘ yo͘u ͜mus̀t bit҉e͠ my̴ ni̴ppl̢es.̜̫̳" Squirtle had an angry look on his face and he squirted Kaneki's nipples in anger. Kaneki dropped Hide and Squirtle in surprise as he felt his eyes growing harder. Hide jumped down from the sky and kicked Kaneki in the eye nipples. Kaneki screamed in pain and teleported into the gym. The gym was made out of beds.

"Dear God, Kaneki! What the hell happened to your eyes!?" shouted Hide as he ran up to Kaneki and kicked him straight in the penis. Kaneki fell back onto the floor as he took out a piece of chalk from his underwear. He ate the chalk and pulled out an avocado. He shoved his fingers into the avocado and proceeded to draw a pentagram on the ground with its juices.

"带来了很大的火蜥从美杜莎的阴道深处!" shouted Kaneki in a high pitched voice resembling that of a strange boy he used to watch on YouTube.

Upon the screams of the words, the ground shook with immense force as a small orange lizard emerged from the centre of the pentagram. Kaneki collapsed to the floor, his kagune spread out, as were his legs. The lizard spoke in a deep, raspy voice.

"Ich bin Chamander. I am the God and Führer of Hell!" he shouted. A shiver ran along Hide's spine as he felt his erection intensify. He thought it rather strange; it's not like he was thinking about his grandma or Misao Okawa.

"Wait, but, I thought Kaneki was Satan..." Hide thought about it for a little bit. His erection seemed to be distracting him too much. Dammit, I’m a Satanophile, aren't I? He thought to himself.

"Ja aber, Satan is my minion," replied Lord Chamander with great pride. Chamander turned to Squirtle. "Abschaum." Lord Chamander turned back around and lifted his mighty flaming tail. An intense barrage of flames escaped his butt hole and disintegrated Squirtle in under two seconds.

Hide screamed and grabbed Lord Chamander's butt. Lord Chamander whipped him away with his tail, consequently setting fire to his erection.

Chamander jumped out of Kaneki's nipples and breathed fire on Hide's penis. Hide's penis disintegrated and became a massive flaming sword of fire that tore through his trousers. His newly acquired fire dick spanned over a distance of three metres. Hide attempted to turn around but his fire penis sliced through everything in its path. It pushed Chamander Führer out of the way and touched Kaneki's face. His face set a blaze and spontaneously combusted. Kaneki's screams echoed through hell, attracting a massive swarm of baby courgette demons. They slammed themselves into the ground, smashing to a million pieces and causing Hide to slip on them. His giant fire sword swung around and decapitated Führer Chamander.

"YOU ARE ALL FOOLS!" the Führer shouted in a mighty rage. Lord Chamander's arms stretched like Elastagirl's limbs and grabbed Kaneki and Hide's heads. He brought their heads to his own and they began to make out in a three way kiss.

Kaneki began to cough violently as Lord Chamander and Hide's tongues lodged themselves in the depths of Kaneki's throat as if there were a

BIG

HAIRY

cat stuck in his throat. Hide and Chamander paid no mind to his struggles as their tongues continued to curl and dance in his throat. Janeiro kicked himself in the face with a great amount of force, knocking the threesome to the floor in a mess of fire and saliva. Hide wiped the saliva from his lips and stared Kaneki in the eyes, still unsure of whether or not he was actually able to see.

"I'm still getting that gym badge," he said firmly before leaning in and licking the nipples of Kaneki's eyes. Hide bit them softly as Kaneki moaned high pitched, demonic moans.

Lord Führer Chämändër seemed to be jerking off to this somewhere beside a Shrek statue when Hide suddenly remembered that a 10 foot fire penis was emerging from his body. He looked down to see that his fire dick had set fire to Kaneki's penis and his eyes widened in shock.

"HIDE WHAT THE FUCK YOU GAVE ME AN STD" shouted Kaneki across Hölle. Hide's eyebrows furrowed in worry and regret when his attention was suddenly drawn to a small explosion directly next to his head. He looked to his right to see the fire gym badge emerge from the flames of the explosion. Hide's eyes widened in awe as he stared intently at the badge, he rose his hand up to the badge, but just before he was able to snatch it from the air, the Pope flew out of nowhere and baptised hell. Hell exploded and everyone died.

The End.

#i fucking hate that i laughed at this #what even was my fifteen year old mind #op #my writing #i guess #tokyo ghoul #tg bants

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uniformbravo · 5 years

Text

ok fuc i gotta start posting animorphs liveblogs again to catch up, here’s one, resurrected from ancient times etc etc etc i wrote this in 2016 bone apple tea

alright boys here we go

The Starfish Book

(the funniest thing abt this cover is that even tho her hair stretches w/ the morph her face stays exactly the same so she’s just. patrick star)

"You," I said, looking at the starfish. "You could get it back," I said as I took off my outer clothing and stood there in my leotard. -- i kind of love the implication that they just kind of wear their morphing suits under their clothes at all times bc 1. ofc they do, it makes sense but also 2. this is like some real superhero shit i bet marco gets a kick out of it -

god. i just remembered how weird this fuckin book is. the starfish book is rly fuckin weird. remember back in the dinosaur book when jake the t-rex got cut in half and i was like “what happens to the other half when he demorphs”? i guess the idea in this book is that since starfish can regenerate limbs, both halves of rachel were alive and demorphed into separate rachels and??? this book is goddamn weird -

Jake was there. He's my cousin. He's cute. Kind of big. I mean, if we weren't cousins . . . -- ummm ??????? care to run that by me again?????? what in the fukc -

"There're two of them!" Jake said. <They appear to be identical,> Ax said. "Cool!" Marco said, climbing to his feet. "Now Tobias can have one and I can have the oth -AAAAHHHH!" I ... I mean she . . . somersaulted. She leaped, landed on her hands, flew through the air, and landed, feetfirst, against Marco's chest. Marco landed very hard on his back. Rachel was astride him, squatting on his chest. Her knees pinned his arms. She reached behind his head and grabbed a handful of his dark hair. The other hand was balled into a fist, quivering, about a foot away from Marco's face. "What did you say?" Rachel whispered. "Not one single thing," Marco said. "Me? I said nothing." -- ffukci mg get Rekt ggod pls keep this rachel she’s what this team Needs -

"Don't threaten," Jake said with unmistakable authority. Mean Rachel forgot me in a flash. She rounded on Jake. "Don't get in my way, Jake." "Don't push it, Rachel." "Are you threatening me?" she nearly screamed. "Come on! You think you can tell me what to do? Let's go, right now. You and me. Just keep our pet Andalite here out of the fight. You and me, we'll see who's giving orders around here after I give you the butt-kicking you're begging for." -- me chanting in the background: kill jake, kill jake, kill jake, kill ja -

The possible fight was interrupted at this point by the arrival of Erek King. He's a Chee. Meaning that he's, like, this Android? Only he uses holograms to look like this normal boy. I don't think he's cute because, you know, it's bad enough being attracted to a guy who's a bird of prey, right? Getting into androids is maybe going a little far. -- wrong ur just not going far enough. in fact ur going too far in all the wrong places are we just gonna ignore that jake comment a few pages ago bc ummmmmmm -

"Interesting?" Marco shrilled. "It's bizarre! It's weird. It's wacko, creepy, horrific, incredible, absurd, and totally, totally, I mean totally insane. But also, kind of cool." "Wait a minute!" I cried. "The shrimp-boy is right! -- Shrimp Boy -

"I am in charge now!" she cried. "I'm running the Animorphs! I am the boss! You'll all obey me. ME!" "Whatever you say," Jake said placatingly. He moved gradually closer to her. "You want to be in charge, fine. I'm tired of the responsibility anyway." "Yeah? Then here's my first order: I want Marco killed! -- im ffukcing dying im gonna scream irl my lungs are failing why is this rachel so Me -

I nodded, confused. I looked around. She was gone. No, not gone. "Are you okay?" Cassie asked. Okay? I wanted to cry. I was me again. For whatever that was worth. The coward was in me. The killer, too. Human and animal. "Rachel, do you want to sit down? Maybe talk?" Cassie asked. "I ... I don't know. . ." I said. "I'm here for you," Cassie said. I looked up. Tobias. Half-human, half-predator. Our eyes met. "Thanks, Cassie," I whispered. "But . . . Tobias?" <Yeah. Let's go, Rachel,> he said. <The two of you and the two of me. Let's go.> -- neat. what a fun ending. these books have such fun endings these days,, bc like! for the most part this book is very strange to read because its these two polarized halves of rachel running around doing things to an extreme the regular rachel would never reach, so u feel like u cant rly take it seriously but then theres this moment here right at the end, after she’s put back together, where it’s like. she acknowledges the fact that those two personalities didn’t come out of thin air, they’re both somewhere deep inside of her to some degree and she doesn’t know how to feel about it, like. it’s definitely a weird way to show it, but this book very dramatically highlights rachel’s internal conflict in terms of self-perception, how she sees herself as these two opposite selves clashing with each other on every level, and how this whole experience brought everything right into the spotlight; this little moment at the end just kind of brings it home like “yeah this was a fun bizarre adventure but also look at how it’s actually affecting rachel hahaha” like please.... why do u always do this (also the fact that everyone reacted so badly like.... ofc it was for good reason but seeing these negative reactions from everyone and then realizing that those personalities actually exist deep down, that’s gotta be fun, that’s gotta feel great)

#i say i wrote it in 2016 but i added the comment abt the front cover just now bc i was looking at it and god #the animorphs covers are an absolute Treasure #retag later #animorphs blogging #god it feels so weird posting one of these again aaaaaaaa #this is only book 32 and im on like.... 40 now...... technically 40.5 #we got some fuckin..;.;.;;.. catching up to do lads

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theaterformen-blog · 7 years

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“Nur weil der Kommunismus tot ist …” – Ein Interview mit Gudrun Gut (GUT UND IRMLER)

—see English version below—

Die 1957 in Celle geborene Musikerin, DJane und Künstlerin Gudrun Gut gilt als Institution der Berliner Musikszene und ist es leid, nur auf ihrer Zeit bei den Einstürzende Neubauten angesprochen zu werden. Seit den 80er Jahren erfindet sie sich kontinuierlich neu, sei es mit ihrem Label Monika Enterprise, das dieses Jahr sein 20-jähriges Jubiläum feiert oder mit ihrem Projekt Gut und Irmler, eine Kooperation mit dem Faust-Organisten Hans-Joachim Irmler. Ein Gespräch über Frauen im Musikbusiness, politischer Kunst und die alte Liebe zu Hannover.

Marvin Dreiwes: Hand aufs Herz, hast du von Hannover schon vor der Expo 2000 gehört?

Gudrun Gut: Lacht. Auf der Expo hatte ich damals sogar aufgelegt. Ursprünglich komme ich aus Celle und hatte früher einen Freund in Hannover und war öfters hier. Und damals 1980 haben wir mit Mania D. als Vorgruppe von DAF gespielt. Aber das war der einzige Hannover-Gig für mich. Also endlich mal wieder Hannover.

MD: Wenn nicht mit Gut und Irmler mit welchem Projekt wärst du sonst gern zu den theaterformen gekommen?

GG: Mit der Monika Werkstatt unserem neuesten Projekt. Dort arbeiten wir mir mit vier bis fünf Künstlerinnen aus dem Monika/Moabit-Umfeld zusammen. Wir spielen Stücke von unserem Solo-Programm aber erarbeiten auch gemeinsam neue Ideen. Solo würde ich natürlich auch gern in Hannover spielen, aber das hat sich noch nicht ergeben. Meine Gage ist wahrscheinlich zu hoch. Lacht.

MD: Was war das letzte Theaterstück, das du mit Begeisterung gesehen hast?

GG: Oh, was von René Pollesch, das finde ich ganz gut. Obwohl ich nicht so oft ins Theater gehe. Eine Freundin von mir arbeitet bei der Volksbühne, die mich immer zu Stücken einlädt. Nur leider habe ich zu selten Zeit dafür. Dabei finde ich es spannend, wie das Theater eine Kunstform ist, bei der mehrere Künstlerinnen so intensiv für einen begrenzten Zeitraum zusammenarbeiten, wo Musik, Bild und Sprache aufeinandertreffen. Und wenn schließlich die ganzen Parts stehen und die Dekoration aufgebaut wurde ist schon wieder alles vorbei. Theater hat da etwas unheimlich Flüchtiges.

MD: Hast du jemals gefunden, wonach du als Künstlerin suchst?

GG: Immer mal wieder. Das sind dann Stücke, die ich heute noch gut finde. Zum Beispiel Garten. Da finde ich den Text klasse und ich wusste schon als ich ihn geschrieben habe, dass er genau passt, dass ich den richtigen Twist gefunden habe.

MD: Welche Bedeutung hat für dich der Wechsel zwischen Solo-Projekten und Kollaborationen?

GG: Das ist für mich ganz wichtig. Ich will nicht sagen, dass Soloprojekte egomanisch sind, aber es ist schon sehr demanding an einen selbst. Bei Kollaborationen gibt es ein Feedback, da passiert mehr. Man wird immer wieder gekickt und bekommt Inspirationen. So war es auch mit Joachim Irmler. Bei meiner Arbeitsweise werkele ich eher lange an Stücken und versuche sie wirklich fertig zu machen. Joachim dagegen ist da ganz der freie Improvisator.

MD: Der Titel eures nächsten Albums soll „10 Prozent“ oder „90 Prozent“ lauten. Damit spielt ihr auf den Umstand an, dass 10 Prozent der Weltbevölkerung 90 Prozent des Weltvermögens besitzen. Wie kam es zu dem Titel?

GG: Nur weil der Kommunismus tot ist, heißt das nicht, dass wir diese Ungleichheit hinnehmen müssen, da hab ich einen kurzen Text für einen Track geschrieben. Ursprünglich sind auf dem Album viele Stücke rein instrumentell. Aber da habe ich gedacht, „jetzt reicht’s“.

MD: Dabei würdest du dich selber nur ungern als politische Künstlerin bezeichnen.

GG: Ich finde, dass politische Kunst gerade im Kontext der Musik etwas besetzt ist. Das geht dann schnell in Richtung Singer-Songwriter, wo die Texte gleich weltverbesserisch werden und sagen: „Du musst jetzt auf die Straße gehen“. Natürlich kann man mit guten Texten eine politische Message bringen, doch Musik hat so viel mehr zu bieten. Sie kann dem Publikum einen Anreiz geben, weiterzudenken oder einfach nur eine Energie geben. Sie hat eine emotionale Stärke, wie kaum eine andere Kunst.

MD: Wie schätzt du gegenwärtig die Situation für Frauen in der Musikindustrie ein?

GG: Im Augenblick liegt die Frauenquote in der Musikindustrie bei ungefähr zehn Prozent. Das ist ein Ungleichgewicht, was ich nicht akzeptieren kann.

MD: Gegen diesen Missstand hast du immer wieder angekämpft. Hast du das Gefühl, dass deine Bemühungen in dieser Richtung etwas bewirkt haben?

GG: Ich bin ja nicht die Einzige, die sich unwohl fühlt. Wenn sie jung sind, denken viele Künstlerinnen in der Musikszene noch, dass alles okay sei. Dann merken sie, dass eben gar nichts okay ist. Wenn du dir die Line-ups von Festivals anschaust, siehst du nur Männer. Inzwischen ist das etwas besser geworden, weil vielmehr pressure zu spüren ist. Die Transmediale zum Beispiel hat letztes Jahr die 50-Prozent-Quote eingeführt. Das hat einen großen Unterschied gemacht, es war plötzlich ein anderes Feeling – auch beim Publikum.

“Just because communism is dead…” Interview with Gudrun Gut (GUT UND IRMLER)

_Gudrun Gut, a musician, DJane and artist born in Celle in 1957, is considered an institution of the Berlin music scene and is fed up of only being asked about her time in the famous German industrial band, Einstürzende Neubauten. Since the ‘80s, she has continually reinvented herself, whether that be with her label Monika Enterprise, which celebrates its twentieth anniversary this year, or with her project Gut und Irmler, a cooperation with the organist player from the band Faust, Hans-Joachim Irmler. _

A conversation about women in the music business, political art and her old love for Hannover.

Marvin Dreiwes: Hand on your heart, had you heard of Hannover before the Expo 2000?

Gudrun Gut: Laughs. Actually I DJed at the Expo back then. I originally come from Celle and I used to have a boyfriend who lived in Hannover, so I was here quite a lot. And back in 1980, we played as support to DAF with my band Mania D. But that was the only Hannover gig I played. So I’m finally back in Hannover.

MD: If you hadn’t come with Gut und Irmler, which project would you have liked to come to Theaterformen with?

GG: With the Monika Werkstatt, our latest project. We work with four or five women artists from the Monika/Moabit circle there. We play pieces from our solo repertoire, but work on new ideas together too. Of course, I’d love to play solo in Hannover, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’m probably too expensive. Laughs.

MD: What was the last play you saw that you really liked?

GG: Oh, something by René Pollesch, I think he’s really good. Although I don’t go to the theatre that often. A friend of mine works at the Volksbühne, she’s always inviting me to shows. Unfortunately, I rarely have time to go. Even though I think it’s so interesting how theatre works as an art form, where so many artists work together so intensely for a certain period of time. And then in the end when all the parts are finished and the set is built, it’s all over. Theatre has something unbelievably fleeting about it.

MD: Have you ever found what you were looking for as an artist?

GG: Now and again. They’re the pieces that I still think are good today. Like Garten. I think the lyrics are great and when I wrote it I already knew that it fit perfectly, that I’d found the right twist.

MD: How important is it for you to switch between solo projects and collaborations?

GG: It’s very important for me. I don’t want to say that solo projects are egomaniacal, but they are very demanding on you. In collaborations, you get feedback, more happens. You keep getting pushed and you get inspiration. That’s how it was with Joachim Irmler too. The way I work is that I tend to tinker away quite a long time at pieces and really try to finish them properly. Unlike me, Joachim is very much a free improviser.

MD: The title of your next album is supposed to be “10 Prozent” (ten percent) or “90 Prozent” (ninety percent). This is a reference to the fact that ten percent of the world’s population owns 90 percent of global wealth. How did you come up with the title?

GG: Just because communism is dead, it doesn’t mean we just have to accept inequality, so I wrote some lyrics for a track. Originally, many of the songs on the album were purely instrumental. But then I thought, “It’s enough.”

MD: Even though you don’t like to describe yourself as a political artist.

GG: I think that political art, especially in the music scene, is a bit overdone. It can quickly go in the direction of singer-songwriters, where the lyrics are all bleeding-heart idealism and say: “You have to go out onto the streets now.” Of course, with good lyrics you can deliver a political message, but music has so much more to offer. It can inspire the public to think differently or just give them a kind of energy. It has an emotional strength that almost no other art form has.

MD: What do you think of the situation for women in the music industry today?

GG: At the moment, the quota of women in the music industry is around ten percent. That’s a level of inequality I can’t accept.

MD: You’ve fought against this terrible situation again and again. Do you feel like your efforts have made any difference?

GG: Well, I’m not the only who feels this is wrong. When they’re young, lots of women artists in the music scene still think everything’s fine. Then they realise that nothing is actually fine. If you look at the line-ups of festivals, you only see men. It’s gotten a bit better by now, because there’s a lot more pressure. _Transmediale _festival, for example, introduced a 50 percent quota last year. That made a big difference, there was suddenly a different feeling – with the public too.

Text/Interview: Marvin Dreiwes Foto: Kamaldeep Übersetzung: Bochert Translations (Anna Galt)

#gudrungut #hans-joachim irmler #faust #theaterformen17 #stageblogger #theater #feminismus #festival #hannover #theaterformen #monikaenterprise #interview #frauenquote #politik #musik

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gagconcert · 7 years

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What went down in the past week because of the Gag Concert 900th Episode Special

I was busy with submissions for the past week, so I didn’t get to update as soon as this happened. After the Kim Joon Ho incident, something else has put Gag Concert in the spotlight.

Jung Jong Chul and Im Hyuk Pil are both comedians who shined on Gag Concert in its heydays, but they have both moved on to comedy shows on other channels.

Along with screenshots of Jung Jong Chul himself in the Legends specials that GagCon aired during one of the weekdays before the first part of the 900th Episode Special, Jung Jong Chul posted his thoughts about not getting invited to take part in the 900th Episode Special.

A post shared by 개그맨 정종철 옥동자 마빡이 존잘맨(리처드기어 st.) (@okdongja1004) on May 15, 2017 at 12:57am PDT

[170515] Jung Jong Chul’s Instagram update

Hoho... Before I congratulate GagCon for reaching its 900th Episode, I’d like to say that I wasn’t interviewed to participate in the Special. It’s a show that’s like my home (before I left); my hometown... But I had no idea the show would be having its 900th Episode.. It’s quite upsetting and sad. A dongsaeng I knew told me that they were proud that I was in 8 of the 19 legendary skits/videos, but asked me why I wasn’t participating in the 900th Episode. I couldn’t reply him, hoho...

Gag Concert is definitely made by the show producers, but the show producers can never do it alone. I hope that they don’t forget the people who make the long-time heritage of being able to hit the 900th Episode possible. That includes the hard-working comedians who come up with skit ideas, as well as the audience and viewers who come to applaud for us.

Also, I'd like to say that the senior comedians we look back on and their junior comedians, including me, did not leave Gag Concert because we wanted to. Comedians are also celebrities, and they are the pillars that made GagCon. I’ve always felt it... I felt that the producers have got it all wrong. It’s the 900th Episode, but they invited popular celebrities who have no relation to GagCon to have a party. I don’t think (the producers) should be grateful towards them.

Rather, I hope that they’ll be thankful for the junior comedians who have been holding it out till now and work hard coming up with ideas to make the viewers laugh. I hope that they think deeper about why GagCon comedians leave for ‘Smile People’ and ‘Comedy Big League’. The comedians protecting GagCon are not tissues.

In response to this post, comedian Im Hyuk Pil wrote a comment:

(Ok) Dong Ja*, they regularly do this sort of thing, even having Yoo Jae Suk** who’s not related to GagCon at all ㅋ

*Ok Dong Ja is the name of a character that Jung Jong Chul played in ‘Bongsunga School’, and it’s the most well-known character that he has played.

**In his comment, he also didn’t use a ‘-ssi’ or ‘-nim’ suffix and sounded rude (so instead of writing ‘Yoo Jae Suk-ssi’ he went ‘Yoo Jae Suk’ - to Koreans that is impolite even if these two celebrities are good friends that can drop the suffix when speaking in real life).

In response to this, the netizens thought that Jung Jong Chul has not much reason to be saying what he did when the news of the 900th Episode Special has already been out for weeks, as if he “forgot his parents’ birthdays” when he said it himself that he “considered GagCon his hometown”. Also, they mentioned the fact that “he didn’t stay on GagCon for a long period of time for jumping over to MBC for the better salary”.

Also, many people attacked Im Hyuk Pil for his words, since it’s obviously not true that Yoo Jae Suk has nothing to do with Gag Concert (he debuted as a comedian). The next day, the comment was deleted off Instagram and clarified to news outlets that he didn’t have beef with Yoo Jae Suk and apologised to him over the phone. He said that if he didn’t feel upset, then it would’ve meant that he didn’t love GagCon.

Gag Concert (or KBS) then responded with a press release.

Hello. We are the producers of ‘Gag Concert’.

We, the producers, heard about the disappointed comedians who were not able to participate in the ‘Gag Concert’ 900th Episode Special, and looked over the 900th Episode plans again.

Truthfully, the 900th Episode Special was planned for the senior comedians who want to give strength to their junior comedians by collaborating with them - especially with the comedy industry struggling at the moment.

We planned for 3 episodes worth, and there are 2 host comedians for each episode. It was planned so that a handful of senior comedians will perform their own skits within the junior comedians’ skits. That’s why, we find it regrettable that there were many successful (from Gag Concert) comedians that we couldn’t invite.

There were many comedians with us for the past 19 years that made Gag Concert shine, going through ups and downs together, making the show what it is today with a lot of effort. The 900th Episode Special was made with that in mind, in honour of all the comedians.

Again, we want to convey that it is regrettable that we didn’t manage to even invite just one more comedian who is also part of that honour. In order to keep the past success of the show unharmed, the junior comedians are working hard. We ask for everyone to generously congratulate the ‘Gag Concert’ 900th Episode Special.

We will work harder to bring the ‘Gag Concert’ Episode 1,000 that everyone can happily and enjoyably celebrate.

Again, we want to thank all the comedians and viewers who have been with us, ‘Gag Concert’, every Sunday night for the past 19 years.

Later on the same day, Jung Jong Chul also apologised about the incident later on Instagram and through news outlets.

#gag concert #news

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nsoora · 7 years

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Week One: Calls at 44,000ft in the air, London's Halal* Chicken Bibimbap, and a very windy storm?

[This post from March 2, 2017, is copied over from my other blog; nazwrotesomestuff.tumblr.com. I intended to use the blog for my travels - but stopped at two posts. HAH! So that one is getting deleted... or revamped...soon, I should do something about it]

The accounts below are from my travel notes/journal entries from week one. I’m now at week two, I know, I've intended to put these write ups online on separate posts, but as you can tell, I'm really late for that. So here's a compilation of it instead.

On another note, I'm fine mum, dad, and yes I still have moolahs with me. Yes, I'll let you know if I ran out. And no, bro don't even think about it, I am not buying your limited edition shoes.

Unten sind aus meinen Reise Tagebucheinträgen aus der ersten Woche. Ich bin jetzt in der zweite Woche, ich weiß, ich habe beabsichtigt, diese journal online auf gesonderte Posts zu setzen, aber bin ich wirklich spät. Also hier ist eine Zusammenstellung davon.

Und zusätzlich, mir geht es gut Mama, Papa, und ja ich habe noch Moolahs mit mir. Ja, ich lasse Sie wissen, wenn ich kein geld habe. Und nein Bruder, ich würde nicht deine limited edition Schuhe kaufe.

CALLS FROM 44,000ft IN THE AIR

Tuesday, February 21st 2017

I spent 16 hours in total on board the plane, and an hour (sort of) in transit at Doha Hamad International airport. The journey started a little, erm, worrying.

In the first half an hour onboard Qatar airways from Singapore to Doha, a man seated diagonally stayed on the phone even after the plane had moved. I know phone calls are allowed on some airlines, but still, I was cautious. It was only when the plane lights dimmed and the captain announced that we were taking off did he hanged up. Phew!

Later, in another couple of hours, I heard a phone dial in my subconscious while somewhat asleep. I opened my eyes and saw the elder a seat away on the phone... seriously? He stayed on the call for about 10minutes while I wonder what is up with passengers like these. Aren’t calls 44,000ft up in the air expensive?

As I worry about the safety of this aircraft and the expensive calls these men were making, I managed to stay awake till we landed in Doha. Nothing interesting happened after that. We landed on a rainy morning, there were a slight delay and I had to run to catch my connection. Of course, not because I was very late, I still had about 30 minutes. I was just being Singaporean. I was being Kiasu.

Dienstag, 21. Februar 2017

Ich verbrachte insgesamt 16 Stunden im Flugzeug und eine Stunde im Transit am Doha Hamad International Airport. Die Reise begann ein wenig, äh, besorgniserregend.

In der ersten halben Stunde in Qatar Airways von Singapur nach Doha blieb ein Mann, der diagonal saß, nach dem Flugzeug am Handy. Ich weiß, dass Telefonanrufe auf einigen Fluggesellschaften erlaubt sind, aber ich war immer noch vorsichtig. Es war nicht, bis der Kapitän angekündigt hatte, dass wir fliegen würden, dass er legte das Telefon auf. Puh!

Später, in ein paar Stunden hatte ich ein Telefon in meinem Unterbewusstsein gehören. Ich wachte auf und sah einen älteren Mann am Telefon...wirklich? Er blieb etwa 10 Minuten am Telefon, während ich mich frage, warum Leute wie ihn macht das. Sind Telefongespräche auf Flugzeug nicht teuer?

Als ich mir Sorgen um die Sicherheit dieses Flugzeugs und die teuren Anrufe mache, die diese Männer machten, blieb ich wach, bis wir in Doha ankamen. Nachher ist nichts interessantes passiert. Wir kamen an einem regnerischen Morgen an, es gab eine leichte Verzögerung und ich musste laufen, um meinen Anschlussflug zu fangen. Natürlich, nicht weil ich sehr spät war, hatte ich noch ca. 30 Minuten mehr. Ich war nur Singapuranerin. Ich war Kiasu.

HALAL* CHICKEN BIBIMBAP NEAR VICTORIA STATION, LONDON

Wednesday, 22nd February 2017

It's day two and I was already craving for asian food. Being Singaporean and growing up with its food culture, I am spoilt with food choices in that sunny island. And now that I am not there that I realise I should be thankful for that.

It’s not that London lacks of Asian food. It’s just that I don’t know where I can find legit Asian food that fits my (halal) diet. So yesterday night, I did a google search on 'Halal korean food london' and it brought me to this article http://feedthelion.co.uk/korean-restaurants-london/. Thank you, Google. And bless whoever that wrote this article.

I took my pick, screenshot the address on my phone and set a mental reminder to make my way there for lunch tomorrow.

Chicken Bibimbap at Lime Orange

Located opposite the Victoria Apollo Theatre is a small Korean restaurant, Lime Orange, where I got myself this beautiful looking halal* Chicken Bibimbap. I know what you're thinking. Lime Orange? This restaurant's name doesn't even shout 'I'm a Korean restaurant!'. If that’s what you were thinking, I was wondering the same thing too. It sounds like a juice stop, but hey, doesn’t that just makes the restaurant all the more interesting? Because it did intrigued me enough to go over and taste their food. And It was the best decision I made that day.

*Lime Orange isn’t a halal restaurant but do serve meals made with halal Chicken. I did several google searches and found out that there were several restaurants in London that serve food with halal meat, or are willing to serve food with halal meat upon request. Damn interesting lah. For Lime Orange, they had a sign up on their glass window that says that the chicken they use is halal.

On another side note, the waiter that served at this restaurant on this day had the most contagious smile and he just makes me happy despite London’s moody weather.

Mittwoch, 22. Februar 2017

Es ist der zweite Tag, aber ich sehne mich nach asiatischem Essen. Als Singapuraner und wachsen mit seiner Nahrungsmittelkultur, bin ich mit Nahrungsmittelwahlen in dieser sonnigen Insel verwöhnt. Und jetzt, wo ich nicht da bin, merke ich, dass ich dafür dankbar sein sollte.

Es ist nicht so, dass London kein asiatisches Essen hat. Es ist nur so, dass ich nicht weiß, wo ich *legit* asiatisches Essen finden kann, das zu meiner (halal) Diät passt. Also gestern Nacht habe ich eine Google-Suche auf 'Halal koreanisches Essen london' und es brachte mich zu diesem Artikel http://feedthelion.co.uk/korean-restaurants-london/. Vielen Dank, Google. Und segne die Person, die diesen Artikel geschrieben hatte.

Ich nahm meine Auswahl, schreibe die Adresse auf meinem Handy und stellte eine mentale Erinnerung, um dort morgen zu Mittag zu essen.

Gegenüber dem Victoria Apollo Theatre befindet sich ein kleines koreanisches Restaurant, Lime Orange, wo ich mir einen wunderschönen Halal * Chicken Bibimbap bestellt habe. Ich weiß was du denkst. Lime Orange? Der Name dieses Restaurants schreit nicht: "Ich bin ein koreanisches Restaurant!". Wenn du das denkst, fragte ich mich auch über das gleiche. Es klingt wie ein Saftstopp, aber hey, macht das nicht das Restaurant um so interessanter? Weil es mich fasziniert hat, um zu gehen und ihr Essen zu schmecken. Und es war die beste Entscheidung, die ich an diesem Tag gemacht habe.

*Lime Orange ist kein Halal Restaurant, sondern servieren Mahlzeiten mit Halal Huhn gemacht. Ich habe mehrere Google-Recherchen und fand heraus, dass es mehrere Restaurants in London, die Speisen mit Halal Fleisch servieren, oder sind bereit, Essen mit Halal Fleisch auf Anfrage servieren. Verdammt interessante *lah*. Für Lime Orange hatten sie eine Anmeldung auf ihrem Glasfenster, die besagt, dass das Huhn, das sie benutzen, halal ist.

Auf einer anderen Anmerkung hatte der Kellner, der in diesem Restaurant an diesem Tag diente, das ansteckende Lächeln. Er macht mich trotz des launischen Wetters in London glücklich.

VERY WINDY STORM

Friday, 24th February 2017 I left London on Thursday for Nottingham the same day storm Doris paid visit to the country. I initially thought it was just a very windy day. The weather app showed the icons below and I didn't think much about it except maybe I would need to tie my hair that day.

What’s this schwooshi things?

I sat down at a cafe near Victoria Bus Station before heading there for my bus. As soon as I closed the door behind me a newspaper came flying and plastered itself against the glass door. And then I thought, "woah! someone could actually get hurt with things flying around”. Apparently, I later found out that someone did. Had a coffee and a Pain au chocolat and then made my way to the bus station, where I found out that several buses, mine included, were delayed. I texted my cousin whom I'm meeting about the delay on my journey and she got back with this article; https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/feb/23/flights-cancelled-as-storm-doris-arrives

If you have read the article, I know... No joke sia! This is some serious shit! Later several news articles that pops up showed many trains and flight departures were cancelled or delayed because of the storm. I was already on board my bus by then, Thank God. Until I heard the bus driver said, "we have Doris coming our way". Umm... Should I be worried? As we make our way to Nottingham, I saw the wind just forcing itself on everything and everyone while the trees swayed side to side, waving it's branch hands as if saying "no no, no no". Seriously. It’s waving back vigorously at the wind. I think I heard one of the trees screamed, ‘Stop it!’. I swear.

The bus driver didn't make an announcement but I overheard him on a loudspeaker call where he was told to reroute. We went through a small village somewhere in between Milton Keynes and Leicester I guess, before continuing the journey on the M1. Everyone on the bus seems calm throughout, except for a lady behind me who's on the phone complaining that she has "been on here for 4 hours". I reached Nottingham, safely, at maybe around 40mins later than scheduled.

Later that evening, we watched the news and found out there was one casualty. Trains were still delayed at 6pm, I don't know when it start moving again. Cousin said I was lucky to make it to Nottingham safely and timely.

Lucky day I guess.

Freitag, 24. Februar 2017

Ich verließ London am Donnerstag für Nottingham am selben Tag Sturm Doris besuchte das Land. Ich dachte zunächst, es war nur ein sehr windiger Tag. Die Wetter-App zeigte lustig aussehende Ikonen und ich dachte nicht viel darüber nach. Außer vielleicht musste ich meine Haare an diesem Tag binden.

Ich setzte mich in ein Cafe in der Nähe von Victoria Busbahnhof, bevor ich dort für meinen Bus. Sobald ich die Tür hinter mir schloß, kam eine Zeitung und faßte sich gegen die Glastür. Und dann dachte ich, "woah, jemand könnte verletzt werden." Ich habe später herausgefunden, dass jemand es tat.

Ich hatte einen Kaffee und ein "Pain Au Chocolat" und machte dann meinen Weg zum Busbahnhof. Dort habe ich herausgefunden, dass sich mehrere Busse, die inbegriffen waren, verspätet haben. Ich habe meine Cousine, die ich treffen werde, über die Verzögerung auf meiner Reise, und sie hat mir diesen Artikel geschickt; https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/feb/23/flights-cancelled-as-storm-doris-arrives

Wenn du den Artikel gelesen hast, weiß ich ... Kein Witz *sia*! Das ist some serious Scheiße!

Später sah ich mehrere Nachrichtenartikel, die viele Züge und Flugabflüge wegen des Sturms abgesagt oder verzögert wurden. Ich war schon an Bord meines Busses, Thank Gott. Bis ich hörte, dass der Busfahrer sagte: "Wir haben Doris kommen unseren Weg".

Umm... Soll ich mir Sorgen machen?

Als wir unseren Weg nach Nottingham machen, sah ich den Wind auf alles und jeden. Die Bäume schwankten von Seite an Seite und winkten mit ihren Zweigen, als ob sie "nein nein, nein nein" sagen würden. Ich glaube, ich hörte einen der Bäume schrie: "Hör auf!". Ich lüge nicht an dir ;)

Der Busfahrer hat keine Ankündigung gemacht, aber ich hörte ihn auf einen Lautsprecheranruf, wo er gesagt wurde, dass er umgeleitet werden sollte. Wir gingen durch ein kleines Dorf irgendwo zwischen Milton Keynes und Leicester, bevor wir die Reise auf der M1 fortsetzten. Jeder im Bus scheint ruhig zu sein, außer für eine Dame hinter mir, die am Telefon klagt, dass sie "hier für 4 Stunden" gewesen ist. Ich erreichte Nottingham, sicher, vielleicht etwa 40 Minuten später als geplant.

Später am Abend sah ich die Nachricht und fand heraus, dass es einen Unfall gab. Züge wurden noch um 18 Uhr verzögert, ich weiß nicht, wann es wieder anfängt, sich wieder zu bewegen. Meine Cousine sagte, ich hätte Glück, um in Nottingham sicher und fristgerecht zu kommen.

Ich hatte einen glücklichen Tag, denke ich.

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idolapps · 7 years

Text

W ing W ing Hyukoh

OOC INFO

NAME/ALIAS, PRONOUNS, TIMEZONE: Jas/ she/her/hers / PST

RESERVATION: n/a

MEMBER PROFILE

FACECLAIM: im jaebum

NAME/STAGENAME: moon bongki

BIRTHDATE/AGE: july 5th, 1991. 25 years old.

COMPANY/POSITION:

Galaxy: Soloist ( DEAN )

HEIGHT/WEIGHT: 180cm/ 66 kg

TRAINING PERIOD/JOINING YEAR:

trained under crystal from 2008 to 2010.

trained under galaxy from 2012 to 2015

5 years in total

INTERESTING FACTS:

co-wrote several songs for other galaxy artists throughout his career.

know MMA arts

former Crystal trainee

Was in a dance crew called SEOKREW for about two years before training, still keeps in contact with the group, though.

was a lifeguard for some time.

his younger sister Minhee is a trainee at Crystal

Served his mandatory military time.

Beat Boxes

STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:

Strengths: Moon Bongki’s vocals and dance skills are seen as top notch due to the fact he is a soloist, he is able to carry performances on his on his own. As well as writes and produces his own songs.

Weaknesses: His rapping, while having a nice flow tends to sound a bit choppy at times, though he is slowly improving that skill. He is also a bit stiff on Talk shows and other variety shows, as he can be a bit closed off.

BIO/PERSONALITY:

.i.)

two young lovers walk into a church. disheveled and anxious as they leave a small bundle on the steps of the small church in busan.

meanwhile, a priest is finishing gathering the burnt out candles when he hears a knock coming from the back door of the church. it’s late, and the priest shuffles towards the source of the noise.

a newborn’s cries ring, the rush footsteps of the two lovers as they flee from the scene are heard before the priest is even at the door.

the only evidence to the two lovers is the name scrawled on a note on the child’s blanket.

(.ii.)

the noise of children playing rings through the busan air. the orphanage is louder than usual, excitement filling the air. for there’s a rumor that a couple is looking for a child.

bong ki is seven years old, and he leaves the orphanage trailing after the couple.

it didn’t last long.

one too many fist fights on the playground, he tired out his first adoptive family. bong ki was easily angered, his tiny fist filled with scratches, his words vile as he took revenge on those who taunted him.

moving from family to family, bong ki had met those with an even worse temper than his own. abuse was on the school ground to his living room as he cycled through parents faster than he grew.

(.iii.)

in between the fighting in school and the unstable home life bong ki found himself suddenly in the care of a slightly older couple.

strict but with a loving touch, the couple bae minchan and minyoung pushed bong ki towards the right crowd, enrolling him in martial arts in hope for bongki to have a healthy outlet for his temper.

(.vi.)

slowly but surely, bongki begins to open up to his foster parents - as well as his classmates.

sure enough, bong ki excels in his new environment, finding a passion in his martial art classes as well as his music classes. An upperclassman even offers him a spot in his own dance crew, SEOKREW.

and after so many years of feeling lost, bongki begins to gain footing in the world.

there is a fair amount of problems, though, bongki’s temper is still short, and fights aren’t as uncommon as his family hopes.

(.v.)

as his passion grew, his dreams became bigger. bongki auditioning for CRYSTAL Media at sixteen, and improving his skills at the company.

a model trainee they called him, as he was stable in most fields the company had offered, it seemed like moon bong ki’s life was finally on track, his dreams only an arm reach away.

it didn’t last long, bong ki was still too hot tempered - unable to work well with others which caused him to rethink his choices, as it was rumored that he was to be put into a boy group.

he drops out of Crystal Media a month later.

(.vi.)

in the following two years, bongki takes the time to do his military service, taking a break from pursuing music, though he begins to experiment with songwriting and producing in his free time.

(.vii.)

on his friends urging, bongki auditions for GALAXY Entertainment in 2012, as FIRST CLASS captures his attention, and the image they have intrigues him.

for the next two years, bongki struggles to catch up with the younger trainees, being out of practice for awhile made him rusty. but fortunately, bongki was able to gain recognition with his choreography skills as well as his producing skills. thus bongki gained a competitive edge and the company began to keep a closer eye on him.

(.viii.)

he begins to have a hand in producing various songs for the company, a more hands-on approach to music than he was expecting. instead, he transitions into a producer for the company rather than a trainee. bongki doesn’t hate it, instead, he excels in it. and he’s content for the time.

so he’s surprised when the company pushes him a solo debut, and suddenly he’s putting out a collab with an american artist.

he’s awestruck, how can a scrawny kid from busan turn into a soloist for a major company? bongki wasn’t sure, he wasn’t going to complain, though, he has finally achieved his dream, though he isn’t slowing down yet.

(.PERSONALITY.)

Bongki was never known to be even-tempered. Strict and easily irritated, the choreographer always tries to work as swiftly and efficiently as possible. He’s not the type of person to settle for nonsense and is often seen begrudingly scolding others for not taking their craft seriously. Although he is a bit of a grouch, Bong Ki does mean well but struggles with expressing it. His actions and words are always short and gruff as if afraid to become too emotionally involved with other people and situations out of his control. But for people who are close to him or know him well, they know that Bong Ki is extremely loyal and protective to those around him, showing others his reliable side.

#male #idol #galaxy #submission

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