#the trans women would find a way to get the cis men pregnant

[hexagonopus]

a lot of discrimination of trans masc people coming from cishet people is in the form of like, "theyre just lost sisters……………………", shit jk rowling says, but i think a lot of amab transfems say a lot of transandrophobic / transmisandrist stuff and its very different from what cis people say.

Ideas like, "its easier for trans men to pass, they have it easier, they gain male privilege by transitioning," etc.

and in a very weird way i think its bc their way of relating to trans men is. as women. Like, trans women see their own womanhood within trans men, and so they conceptualize the concept of "transitioning to be a man" in the same way they would conceptualize themselves detransitioning

and that idea is repellant to them for obvious reasons.

because the truth is, it is not easy to pass for any trans people. trans men included. and trans men may inherit certain male privileges but they also retain. like. body parts that are inherently targeted by the gender hierarchy. Trans men who can get pregnant still are impacted by things like Roe v Wade being overturned. It is difficult for trans men who pass to see an obgyn. It is difficult for trans men who don't pass to have their identities taken seriously (just as it is with trans women, of course). Trans men are also largely very invisible, and that is incredibly damaging.

and ig i find that heartbreaking and frustrating and so fucking stupid. it reminds me a lot of people who say ace people have it easy.

#transandrophobia #tw transandrophobia #si(o)s

[boringkate]

I watched Lena Dunham's Sharp Stick (2022) with a babe last month. Which I absolutely loved!!!

It's never explicitly acknowledged, but the main character is clearly supposed to be (despite the producers claiming otherwise) in some way neurodivergent. Or something. She's meek and impossibly sexually naive (to the point where me and the girl I watched it with had initially assumed the character was intended to be a child). Apparently they had approached an autism sexuality advocate to work as a consultant for the film before backpeddling.

Trans girls tend to be autistic.

The main character also had a hysterectomy (as did Lena Dunham).

Trans girls tend to be infertile.

She's shown taking estrogen.

Trans girls tend to take estrogen.

She becomes obsessed with porn and begins having one night stands with random men from the internet in hopes of finding validation by proving her sexual desirability.

Trans girls tend to do that shit.

It ends with her realizing and leaning into her impregnation fetish (while getting fucked by the one black guy she knows who had just brought over some 40s and called them homies and also while her black step sister's hands unexpectedly drift in from off screen to hold her because even when she managed to push it off to the last second Lena Dunham is incapable of being chill and normal about race).

Trans girls can't go ten seconds without making the same joke about how if you don't think you can get a trans girl pregnant then you just aren't trying hard enough (and the frequent fetishization of black men in trans and especially neighboring sissy communities can't really be denied).

Also the bartender is played by Tommy Dorfman (a trans woman) with it being her first time playing a character with a girl name.

But I'm not trying to suggest it's intentionally a movie about the tgirl excperience. That would be silly. Really the takeaway should be that (no matter how varied women's lives may be) we (trans women and cis women etc) can still always find common ground and shared excperiences. We're all in this together.

But anyways I was looking at Lena Dunham's Instagram yesterday (I've been off and on again rewatching Girls, so she's stayed on my mind).

One post features the music video she directed starring famed trans girl Hari Nef.

Another post shows that she recently read trans boy Elliot Paige's memoir Paige Boy.

Another post shows a conversation she had with Jon Bernthal (on his podcast) where she explains the word cis to him and talks about having also explained it to her husband (this is the only clip from her appearance on the podcast that she chose to post).

BTW did you know that she was an executive producer for the 2021 show Genera+ion (which I recall featuring a trans boy actor playing a cis boy character who gets a girl pregnant).

Fascinating!

Meanwhile. Ten years earlier. In 2013 (a year into my transition and a year before Time declared that we've reached the trans tipping point) an episode of Girls features a doorman telling one of the titular Girls that "a tranny walked in last time and he was just walking around the floors, but it was nothing." (lmao)

UPDATE: s05e02 features a "did you just assume my pronouns" bit. (in a way that felt reactionary and gross because the theyfab saying it was an absurd hipster barista that the audience isn't intended to sympathize with)

UPDATE UPDATE: s06e02 features the leader of a group for women entrepreneurs saying "For those of you asking on our Facebook if the group is open to trans women: The answer is: We don't know. Okay?" (which I thought was fun)

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: s06e03 (the literal next episode) "I even went to a couple of hookers and one of them had a dick."

[gothhabiba]

Hi! Sorry, I read your discussion of women + femmes. I use that term sometimes to include my partner (transfemme nb). Like I was talking about having difficulty finding cute shoes in big sizes and said like "all my love to women+femmes with big feet." Only online though bc irl id just say like "girls" and everyone would know what I meant. Anyway, what would you suggest in those cases? Sorry again. I know you said go back to square 0 but like. I don't get it. I just mean to say feminine enbies as well as women (cis + trans obviously). I know I'm being dense. I want to do better.

If you're speaking in specific consideration of one person then of course you should use whatever term makes them comfortable & is accurate to them.

When I say that "finding another phrase to use" is insufficient, what I mean is that we shouldn't just keep all of the assumptions that go into the phrase "women and femmes" intact while merely changing their wording.

Perhaps you're familiar with a criticism of the way that a lot of people use the term "afab" as though it meant "women"—despite the fact that the phrase is meant to challenge dominant assumptions about sex, gender, and gendered ideology (the idea, for example, that gender is 'essential' or 'immutable') by pointing out that gender is coercively assigned at birth based on only one attribute (the appearance of the genitalia), some people collapse the term back into whatever they already meant by "women" and so fail to actually rethink what they believe about gender in light of that critique.

For example, when talking about medical care, they'll say "afab" when they actually mean "person who menstruates" or "person who can get pregnant," when these groups of people are not coterminous. Or they will assume that one gender always neatly aligns with one type of "socialisation," but instead of saying that someone was socialised "female" they will say "afab socialization"—which changes none of the essentialist and transmisogynist ideas about birth assignment being destiny, but merely shifts the wording a tiny bit. So what is recommended instead is to actually think about what you mean in any given instance and then say that, rather than assuming that one phrase will always be sufficient and accurate to express what you want to say across different contexts (and that what you want to say will always align neatly with whatever beliefs you already held about the group "women").

This is sort of like that. Saying "women and femmes" makes a gesture towards respecting people's identities, but (besides the other issues I outlined regarding viewing "womanhood" as somehow dependent on "feminine" presentation and aligning with transmisogynist and lesbophobic arguments that women who don't meet the wobbly, uncertain standards of whatever they mean by "femme" are masculine oppressors or w/e—where you will see people outright talk about "masculine people" and "feminine people" instead of "men" and "women") it collapses distinctions and wrongly assumes that overlapping groups are coterminous in the same way that using "afab" to mean "female" does.

Take your example about shoes—by "cute shoes" I assume you must mean "women's shoes," as in "shoes which are intended for and marketed towards the consumer category labelled 'women'"—because by specifying "cute" you're implicitly contrasting it with something else (presumably 'men's' shoes). But do all "women" coincide with the consumer demographic 'women'—that is, do all "women" wear 'women's' shoes? No, obviously not. So thinking about what you actually meant in this instance may have led you to say something more like "feminine-presenting people with big feet."

This is just for the sake of trying to explain what I mean by 'collapsing distinctions'. I'm not suggesting that everyone must do all of this thinking from scratch when casually speaking, which would be silly (like you said, there's a point at which you can just trust the people who know you to know what you mean).

But, like I said, I do think that certain uses of terms such as "women and femmes" or, worse, "women and afab people," (or "women and people perceived as women," or "women and [whatever phrase that must be tacked on because 'women' is insufficient somehow]") indicate a view of gender that is ill-considered, in line with dominant essentialisms and truisms about gender, and therefore implicitly or overtly transmisogynistic. Why would it be necessary or useful to group "women" and "afab people" together as against everyone else? Is "women" actually understood to include "trans women" here—and, if so, how can that be squared with the assumption baked into the term that one's birth assignment always coincides meaningfully with one's experience of gender? How can the internal 'essence' of 'identification' as a "woman" be grouped together with the external experience of being "perceived" "as" a "woman" as though these indicate meaningfully similar things? What are we suggesting about women who are not "perceived" "as" "women" when we use this phrase? What are we suggesting about the nature of gendered perception (is it really always binary and static—you are always perceived either as "woman" or as "not-woman" and these categories never overlap or shift)?

As soon as you start to dig deeper into any of these phrases they devolve into incoherency. An actual ("from square 0") consideration of how gender operates, how 'gendering' occurs (on the part of medical institutions, the family, the public, the individual), &c., will reveal them to be basically useless.

#women and femmes

[gayhenrycreel]

i think people need to stop being so angry about people having genital preferences. its not transphobic to not want to eat cunt.

im a trans man and im only attracted to men with a dick and a flat chest (this includes trans men). i cant help it. its just how i am. its not because i don't see trans men as men or something, im just not into pussy.

stop shaming people for not being into girldick or boypussy.

ive also noticed that a lot of these people shaming others about this are also very... weird about bottom surgery. bottom surgery is just as life saving as top surgery. if you actually look on transbucket you can see that it does look real and its very rare that someone completely loses sensation after bottom surgery.

im not as familiar with vaginoplasty, but it seems that people who fear phalloplasty think that scars are hideous and that the first stage is the only stage. thats not true. scars are just a part of someones body, and phalloplasty has secondary stages, after which the neo penis looks just any other dick. stop looking at photos a few weeks after surgery, look for photos a few years post op. it takes time to heal.

people who fear metoidioplasty just think micropenises are gross. thats it. they also think bottom growth is disgusting.

weirdly, all of these people are trans. i have not seen a single cis person on this site go into trans tags and claim bottom surgery is mutilation. ive seen many trans men do it. (the terfs seem to stick to their own tags).

honestly with all the terfs around here its really fuckin weird.

they also seem to believe that there are 4 genders: men, trans men, women, and trans women. thats clearly not right.

they stereotype trans men (they call them boys regardless of age) as being white, submissive, and never wanting to transition. its very rare i see art of trans men who are not white femboys.

they do the same to trans women- sorry, "trans girlies".

interestingly, they always draw feminine women and men, but never masculine anyone. art of masculine people is always drawn by those who are in the process of transition or butch lesbians.

its the terf kool aid. they think masculinity will make them like their oppressors, so they cant imagine that anyone would ever want to be masculine in any way.

they really seem to think bears are gross too. smells like fatphobia.

theyre also weird about trans people who are... not young twinks? why do they keep drawing us in maid outfits? consistently?

and then theres the fanfics. a while ago i made a post about cis people doing this, but since then ive realized trans people do it too. a lot. i am yet to find a fanfic featuring a trans man who is not a submissive bottom. always with tits. always scrawny. always ALWAYS into having his cervix destroyed.

some trans men are like that and they deserve representation, but its the only representation i see.

also, when you look at these peoples bios, you see that they are either cis women in their 20s, or teenage trans guys.

i think they are so out of touch with real world queerness that they have come to believe the stereotypes chasers have made for us.

and thats why trans tags read like fetish tags.

also, transhet people get thrown under the bus. completely erased. i have never seen a fic depicting a straight trans man- sorry, "pussyboy". sometimes i see one saying noooo, hes bisexual. and then he gets railed by a cis man youd see in hollywood.

and why is every fic about trans people porn? do we exist outside of porn or are we just mpreg fetish fuel? yeah, a lot of its mpreg. and they react to REAL LIFE MEN getting pregnant as some kind of joke. they make suggestive comments, theyre just all sorts of weird and invasive. its gross. those are real people.

it fucking hurts to see other trans people talk about bodies like mine as if we're not real actual humans, just sexual fantasies.

i cant go into ftm tags because theres porn everywhere. and its not bots. its young trans men who think trans men are only defined by pussy.

thats not how it works. we're defined by being men. not all trans men have tits and vaginas. surgery exists. this place is crazy.

on youtube men declare that women and faggots are destroying western civilization for wanting basic autonomy.

on tumblr, everyone, except a select few who stop to think, declare that masculinity is inherently restrictive and oppressive and that testosterone is poison. which republicans on youtube also claim. the difference is that tumblrinas think cis men are included in being poisoned by testosterone.

go back to terf island and grovel at the feet of jkr like you have wet dreams about.

just because youre trans doesnt mean you cant be transphobic.

have you heard of tirfs? trans-inclusive radfems. they believe that trans women are women and must be saved from the evil men, and that trans men are men and so are rapists. terfs love them.

you need to understand that transphobia is not the defining trait of terfs. the defining trait of terfism is the belief that men are disgusting, violent, sex driven, out of control, abusive, and rapists in waiting. ive seen them say that male fetuses should be aborted by law. thats eugenics. ya know, like fascism.

because thats what it is. by my definition, fascism is the belief that certain humans are not worthy of life. terfs think men are not worthy of life, and drag trans people into it.

before you decide that trans men, or whatever fetishy term you call us, are all twinks, think. like, at all. is there a reason you think this way? do you have room in your worldview for hairy trans men? hairy feminine trans men? trans bears? trans men of colour? masculine trans men with long hair?

trans men who have surgery and T shots?

or does that seem too much like... i dunno... body horror to you?

thats how these people react to sex changes. they make comments on photos of phalloplasty scars and say it looks like a horrible burn scar. it looks painful they say. "how do you go out in public?", "why would you put yourself through that?".

if someone had a kidney transplant would you say such things about those scars?

both are life saving surgeries. treat them as such.

stop writing the same smut over and over about a woman who can only have vaginal sex and never be anything other than submissive and breedable and slap the word "cuntboy" on it. has it occurred to you that some trans men would like to read about guys like them? not a bunch of white twink clones? fucking hell, it hard to find twink clone smut where the twink even has a flat chest!

it actually makes a lot of trans guys really dysphoric to have so much attention put on the parts we're born with. not all trans guys, but a lot. honestly the lack of representation makes me feel like i have to use parts of me that i cant even look at. ive seen a lot of other guys express this feeling too.

are we not sexy if we don't have sex a certain way? not getting representation hurts. it feels very isolating. the only kind of people like me who get called sexy are called sexy for things i can not do. (seriously i am physically not able to get anything in my front hole without extreme pain. how do you think trans guys like me who are physically incapable of vaginal sex feel about boypussy fetishism?)

anal sex is a thing. do you think its too gross for your twink clone to try? almost like... its unnatural...?... its dirty...?... its... sinful?

good fuckin job, buckaroo, ya reinvented classic homophobia.

there is no form of consensual sex that is sinful. you're just anti kink! if ya think anal sex is gross wait till ya hear about fisting.

youre all "i wanna turn that femboys prostate into jelly" until you realize it in his ass. so you give that femboy a g-spot instead. it doesn't take much to realize that all holes have something gross that comes outta them, not just ya asshole. i mean, blood and earwax is pretty unpleasant too. youre fine with kissing and vomits definitely gross! (your nose is also connected to the back of your throat so if you french someone youre gonna get nasal cavity mucus on your tongue)

if you think anal sex is gross youre just an 80s homophobe.

think of of it this way: i dont wanna stick my dick in a hole that ejects a buncha blood every month anymore than you want to acknowledge that some people prefer to shove something up their asshole. both are equally gross, and neither of them are actually gross at all unless youve been told its gross your whole life.

stop deciding that (however unconsciously) trans men can only be skinny white young twinks. i have actually yet to met a trans man above the age of 20 who is skinny. the trans guys ive met irl are fat and hairy. its quite obvious that the twink thing is just a stereotype.

seriously, yous are missing out on writing smut about fat hairy men, but youre too scared of being *gasp* not perfect under white cishetpatriarchy, ergo it is incomprehensible that someone would be attracted to that let alone want to be like that.

ever since i watched Jumanji: welcome to the jungle, i have wanted to be a fat middle-aged man. i was genuinely confused that that barbie didn't like it. cant remember her name.

yous are the same people who wanna "fuck that old man" arent ya? the people who are usually grossed out when you see an old man above the age of 30? it seems like the same sorta mentality.

if a cis guy got hairy would you call him disgusting and unattractive? not that ive seen. its reserved for trans guys on T.

tldr; theres nothing wrong with having a preference for certain genitals, those people who say its wrong just think its transphobic because they think not being attracted to someone means you hate them. they just don't realize that some people get bottom surgery and that its not a bad thing. theyve been drinking the terf koolaid

#transphobia #trans #queer #queer liberation #transgender #transexual #transmisogny #transandrophobia #trans men #transmasc #transmasculinity #ftm #mtf #bottom surgery #phalloplasty #metoidioplasty

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

“Why would a trans man ever want to get pregnant?!” 

I almost find it funny when people ask this as if it’s a big confusing mystery - when the answer is the exact same one as for cis women. 

If anyone tries to get pregnant (or plans to try to get pregnant in the future), there is only one possible reason for that: They want a kid.

They wish to become a parent and decided that pregnancy is the way they want to go to reach that goal. 

Why would pregnancy be the way they want to go - and not adoption or surrogacy? What about letting their partner carry the child? Well, those first two options are not accessible or affordable to everyone, and are not even legal in some places! And for the third one, maybe their partner is not able to get pregnant or does not wish to be the one who carries the baby or, you know, happens not to have an uterus. 

But with all that being said: it’s not always because pregnancy is the only option for them. It might just be their preferred option! Maybe they WANT to experience pregnancy. Maybe they want to carry their child and are actually excited about being the one to do so. 

When we talk about pregnancy and trans men, people suddenly act like cis women get pregnant to (somehow, magically) double up on womanhood and like it’s therefore completely unimaginable what a trans man could ever get out of it… They get a baby out of it. 

Pregnancy doesn’t make a cis woman more of a woman (just like never getting pregnant doesn’t make them less of a woman!) - and therefore it doesn’t make a trans man less of a man. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

#lgbt #lgbt+

[genderkoolaid]

Hi! I’m a cis trans ally, and I was wondering about how to word trans reproduction discussions? I want to be as supportive as possible but scared to ask my trans friends.

General tips:

Find the places in your language where things are gendered, and question if that gendering is actually accurate. Women aren't the only ones who can get pregnant, and men aren't the only ones who can impregnate. I'm gonna bold all the places where I change my language to avoid gendering people while being accurate

Get comfortable just naming body parts. Get specific with what does and is affected by what.

Specific things to consider:

Take the sentence "men are trying to control women's bodies." For one, we have the issue of "women's" bodies; there are people who aren't women who are affected by having their bodies controlled. But you also have "men," which not only refers exclusively to cis men* (unless we have some trans male politicians out there making anti-abortion laws), but also ignores the way that gender and power has changed. This stuff is 10000% born out of misogyny and a desired to controlled labeled-female* bodies, centered around the uterus. But in countries where women can have political power and influence, and many cis women directly create and support laws that criminalize uterine autonomy, or create fake abortion clinics or report people for seeking abortions or birth control... its not just cis men doing this. And its important to recognize that no identity or physical condition prevents someone from working against justice and for oppression. Also, in the US, anti-abortion laws tends to come overwhelmingly from a specific political grouping, so I feel like "Republicans" or "conservatives" is just as easy to understand and accurate as "men" here

Also: when talking about individuals, try to ask them how they refer to their body! Some people are fine being called male or female, whereas some people do not feel those describe their sex. & also don't assume anyone's genitals or reproductive capabilities.

Also also: don't be scared! While I'd suggest making sure they are comfortable explaining this subject to you, there's nothing wrong with wanting to better understand how to support people you care about.

*Idk if this is a term thats used a lot, but I would prefer it to AFAB; that only describes what a doctor said you were based on your visible genital situation at birth, which doesn't say a lot about your genitals or organs or how you perform gender NOW. whereas you can be labeled female at any point, and you can even be selectively labeled female (i.e trans women being labeled male on paper but arrested for taking their shirts off in public).

*this is bolded because too often people will use "men" to mean "cis men" even while trying to be trans-inclusive; it is not acceptable. i am speaking directly to you, cis allies of trans people en masse: stop this. stop conflating manhood with cisness and oppressor status. grow you understanding of gender relations a smidge

#m. #ask box

[djsherriff-responses]

I’m attempting an actual set up/timeline of sorts for Captain Laserhen and wanted to share what I’ve written down so far

I appreciate opinions and criticism if you’re comfortable reading about an au involving themes of Eugenics, unethical practices that go against people’s bodily autonomy and consent , male pregnancy, abuse and general fears regarding pregnancy, parenthood and how that can change someone

You see Eden, the big fans of eugenics that they are , don’t feel it’s enough to simply scan through their civilian population and hunt down those with “worthy” genetics for their various military programs: They want a way to manufacture super soldiers personally

Cloning seems like an obvious choice and cloning technology is something they have access to. But it takes so many resources just to create and maintain one clone through its development , never mind all the mutations and amount of failures that could happen during the cloning process, and then there’s the issue of this information getting out to the press and the controversy it’d cause

But most importantly, clones are essentially dolls with a conscious, and dolls don’t have any loyalty to their owners. Sure Eden is a master at brain washing and almost perfected the art of manipulating people. But Eden already has defectors and traitors despite their best efforts to maintain control of their own civilians , who’s to say what chaos would happen if mass produced clones became part of the equation?

No , it best to keep cloning to a strict minimum of a select few. A few rogue clones is much easier to deal with then an entire trained army of rogue clones

Eden realised it’s not enough to raise children to wield guns , their soldiers need a reason to remain loyal to Eden despite the horrors and abuse, a connection to keep them tied to the system even when doubt eats at them in the dead of night

And what greater ties is there than that of blood: A family

So Eden gave their male super soldiers a sort of “retirement protocol” where they essentially have an artificial womb (don’t ask me the specifics of this it’s sci fi horror nonsense) so that when those super soldiers (ideally) aged out of the military, they’d get pregnant and pop out a replacement to take their place

Or if a super soldier chose to become a traitorous terrorist, Eden will have leverage to bring them back into their arms

(Dolph in this au is cis and while the Eden army is dominantly cis, there’s likely issues a trans or genderqueer character would face from this situation that simply has not crossed my cis brain, just wanted to add this tidbit here since the set up is primarily focused on cis men going through this unethical treatment)

The specific reasons why this was done to male soldiers:

Women already have wombs and the capability to produce children, so it’d be pointless all things considered

There’s a larger amount of men in the army compared to women, so obviously Eden has gotta put their resources on getting *the men pregnant* replacements for those men ready

Men who are amab aren’t expected to ever fall pregnant and thus aren’t prepared for the turmoil and stress that comes with pregnancy the ways which women are. The men would be in a vulnerable position and would seek out help by any means necessary , plus be much easier to manipulate (either through use of their new found motherly instincts or their desire to be rid of this unexpected baby)

Most importantly,men do not have the means to have a natural birth. This is the most crucial part as the way Eden has done it, the men will have no choice but to seek medical attention to have a c section when the baby is due and thus even if that man does not want to return to Eden, Eden will still have the means to find him anyways

“But what about the press/public learning about this?!” Oh Eden already has an answer to that: Male pregnancies are a result of a strange effect of dimension X leaking into our universe and biologically impacting Eden’s male population(which is all the more reason it’s important to keep alien scum out!)

Basically, Eden blames the aliens. Because a vulnerable pregnant man is going to be far more willing to crawl back into the system that abused him if he believes aliens are the ones making him go through the horrific process of an unnatural pregnancy, instead of the truth that Eden has purposely done unethical practices on his body to keep him on a leash 

And Dolph is one of those men that Eden unethically gave with the ability to have babies, all without his knowledge or consent, yay!

Side note, normal children are 50:50 when it comes to inheriting their parents’ genetics. But super soldier babies actually take about 75 to 85% after their “mother” (again, Eden being huge fans of eugenics and not wanting to lose such valuable genes) so any children Dolph has, regardless of the other parent, will always take more after him

The timeline of this au diverges from the canon plot as of episode two , before Dolph walks in on Alex sleeping with Pagan (so anything that happened after that doesn’t happen, most notably Jade does not die). Instead of seeing the cigarette and finding his cheating boyfriend, the smell of the smoke makes Dolph vomit and team ghost are forced to abort mission. Though technically it’s been divergent from canon before episode one even happens

#captain laserhawk #dolph laserhawk #Captain Laserhen #rambles #Tw mpreg #mpreg #tw abuse #Tw violation of consent #Bodily autonomy violation #Tw abuse #tw dubious consent #Tw eugenics

[the-mad-owl]

Some of my expierences living as a trans man - because being openly nonbinary here will have you loose all access to resources - with my girlfriend, a nonbinary trans woman. Because people genuinely need to touch grass. This is our lived expierence: it largely does not matter which way around we are trans. People hate us both. Stop dividing the community.

I have been on T for 3 years. I have facial hair. I have not been able to get surgeries and my chest ist large. I can't bind. I try to dress masculine in public for safety, but anything I wear is still seen as feminine due to my figure. I would like to dress feminine, but can't. I am constantly dysphoric.

My girlfriend has facial hair. She tries to dress masculine in public for safety, but people can often tell something queer is going on anyway. Sometimes she dresses in a more feminine way, but oftentimes she can't. She is constantly dysphoric.

People do not care which way around I am queer. They do not care which way around she is. They see someone with facial hair who is too feminine. They see someone who does not fit. We both get the same looks.

My endocrinologist refuses to give trans people who take testosterone information. He additionally tells them they will not be able to get pregnant. (Wrong and dangerous.) He does not warn them of any changes besides body hair growth. If we complain about anything, he will kick us out. My period did not stop and I had horrible pains. He refused to help. He is currently threatening me as I have not had any surgeries yet and he is doubting my trans-ness. He deadnames and misgenders me always.

The same endocrinologist refuses to give people who take estrogen T-blockers. He does not inform them of estrogen correctly. He doubts their trans-ness if they do not have surgeries for too long. He threatens to kick them out when they complain. He deadnames and misgenders them. My girlfriend is scared to go there.

My endocrinologist does not care that I am a trans man and she is a trans woman. We will never be man and woman enough. We are not allowed to be nonbinary. He kicks out nonbinary people straight away. Neither of us have access to appropriate medical help.

When I buy clothes I can't find anything that fits me. My chest and hips do not fit in men's clothes, my shoulders do not fit in women's clothes anymore. People stare at me in the men's section and in the women's section. I hate shopping.

My girlfriend can't find clothes that fit her in the women's section. She is dysphoric about shopping in the men's section. People stare at her. She also hates shopping.

I am trying to find a psychiatrist and a psychiatric clinic. The last psychiatrist I had yelled at me for being trans. The last therapist I had kicked me out for it. My current therapist has contacted someone he knows in a clinic and got the answer "Your client shouldn't come here, we aren't good at dealing with trans people." I am terrified of getting help.

My girlfriend has seen me go through this. She badly needs a therapist to start estrogen. She is terrified of getting help as well.

The people who are supposed to help us do not care which way we are trans. They simply "do not know how to deal with us". They "have no experience". They are transphobic.

When I was at the hospital last weekend, I was constantly misgendered. I was ignored, even though the woman in the same room as me was given treatment. I was treated as if I was in the wrong room, on the wrong station, because it was the woman's station. They put me there. Then they proceeded to punish me for it, as if I was trespassing, when I was having an emergency. A doctor who was supposed to see if my heart was beating correctly accused me of not really being trans with disgust - I have no idea why he should have cared in the first place. I'm scared and unsafe in medical environments. I try my best to avoid them.

My girlfriend is in chronic pain. She can still pass as cis well enough to be treated fine - if she doesn't speak up and let's herself be misgendered, put in the men's section, act correctly and isn't obviously queer. So she does not seek treatment. She's scared and unsafe in medical environments, and does her best to avoid them.

I am currently denied access to both the men's and the women's bathroom. I look too much like the other gender each way. At my last job, the cleaning ladies told my boss about which bathroom I was using in hopes he would yell at me for it. I'm scared to travel out go out for long periods of time because of it.

My girlfriend can still use the men's bathroom if she dresses masculine, but as soon as she doesn't, that's over as well. She has the same problem I do.

The laws in Germany are supposed to be changed. Currently, to change our name and gender, we have to pay up to 2000€ to people who ask us what panties we wear and which porn we watch. If a trans man has long hair, or a trans woman short hair, that might be reason enough to deny us. Then, judges have the final say. The laws are supposed to have been changed years ago. They still haven't been. We both have to go through this.

Lastly, I have been rejected from the gynecologist for being a trans woman. I have endometriosis. I have a uterus. They knew this. They were transphobic, and they do not care to learn about trans people. Why would they?

Our daily lives expierence in discrimination is incredibly similar, if not the same. I can be discriminated for being a trans man, a trans woman, nonbinary, just looking queer. As can my girlfriend. Bigots do not care to learn about us. They just hate us. They see I have breasts and a beard and hate me the same as they hate my girlfriend for wearing a skirt with facial hair shadow visible.

This isn't to say everything is the same. We both have gender and transition specific issues as well. Conversations go differently, outings go differently at times, and we know who the news loves to target most. That conversation has to be had, but this isn't a post about that.

I have seen a ridiculous amount of infighting between transmasc and transfem people recently. (Often completely forgetting those of us who are unaligned and do not fit in that binary by the way.) I am posting this to say: THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR LABELS. They don't give a shit. They'll hate you either way. You're a dirty queer in the eyes of bigots as soon as you are openly gender nonconforming in any way whatsoever. We expierence SO MUCH shared discrimination. Stop this complete idiocy and GO OUTSIDE. Connect with a community. Ideally find the next trans person you have nothing in common with and then talk. What the hell is this "oh they have it better than us" on both sides supposed to achieve exactly?? I could list dozens of examples just like the ones above.

Lastly, one more:

When I expierence transphobia, when I see a scary post on social media, when politicians are trying to kill us and when the doctor I had an appointment with questioned my genitals more than my pain, I go to my girlfriend, I look at the many pride flags we put up in our apartment, I hug her, I kiss her, I feel safe. For just a moment.

And when she sees the news, when she's scared to dress in a certain way, to do her makeup on her own, when she expierences comments about her queerness and struggles to find medical help, she comes to me. And I hope she feels safe as well.

We must help each other.

#Long post #trans #transgender #discourse #this is more vent than anything else #i am so tired #i am so tired of all this #shut up shut up shut up and listen to each other #also if my gf reads this hiiiiii i know I'm supposed to rest but i got too upset and didn't want to wake you :( #transmisogyny

[johannestevans]

Hey! I've seen your post about pregnancy going around and I really agree with what you're saying and I wanted to thank you because I've never really heard anyone talk about pregnancy in this way before. I only just started following you so I was wondering what made you want to make that post and also do you have any more thoughts on the subject of parenthood/pregnancy etc?

this post

I have a lot of varied thoughts about topics that I post at different times - I'm a pretty fervent believer in more movements towards children's rights, especially children's rights to bodily autonomy, and to be honest, I'm ultimately a believer in abolishing schools.

I think pregnancy can be a complex topic, because many cisgender women find the concept and the process in various ways to be very gender affirming and a culmination of their journeys as women - unfortunately, this is a perspective that's baked into a lot of Christo-fascist ideology and other dangerous rightwing ideologies, and many other cis women, not to mention other people who can get pregnant, are pressured and policed for their decisions around pregnancy, whether that's to get abortions, to not get pregnant at all, their contraceptive usage, their partners, the number of children they have, their decision to give up kids for adoption, how they parent those children, etc.

Ultimately, I think pregnancy is horrifying. It's very scary to me, and in different ways I think the effects it can wreak on the body can be disgusting, horrifying, frightening, etc - some other people fantasise about pregnancy as something far more joyful and exciting; others have a more balanced view but think it's worth the horrors for the joys, or consider the horrors of never being pregnant worth the horrors of being pregnant, you know?

Much of the fictional body horror I write in various ways plays with themes that are analogous to or parallel the fears of pregnancy - belly bulging, especially inflation and oviposition, obviously mimic the most obvious physical bulging that comes with pregnancy; I play with induced lactation and the fears of being seen as a breeding vessel; I play with themes of infestation and your body being taken over by another creature or creatures, especially in ways that would be legitimised by outsiders, where their claim to your body is seen as more valid than your own; I play with feelings of the personal body being subsumed with a focus on the public or greater good.

People often focus on the birth as the most traumatic aspect of pregnancy, but for me the real fears are actually in the gestation because like...

The birthing process can last up to a few days for a really awful labour, but that's just a blip compared to 80% of a year spent pregnant, and what really freaks me out is not just the physical processes of pregnancy itself, but all the ideology, moralism, and social mores that surround pregnancy and pregnant people, the ways in which anyone pregnant is expected or might be expected to sacrifice themselves, the ways in which our society venerates birth but not life, a potential life but not an actual person, the ways in which our society will coo over the concept of a baby, but not care about that baby's autonomy, particularly as they grow into a child and an adult themselves, let alone the autonomy of that child's parent.

Three out of four of my grandparents were nurses, and my mother had an extremely difficult labour with me, plus I grew up sort of asking questions about medical stuff, and I saw shows like Call the Midwife, medical dramas, and so on - I think as I grew into a teenager, I was constantly bombarded with messaging about the normalcy and the expectation of pregnancy, and I had the difficulty many trans men have of like...

Untangling my feelings of personal dysphoria and nausea around the "feminising" aspects of pregnancy and the gendered expectations, all these being my personal relationship to my own body, to pregnancy, to ways in which my body might be considered femine or threatened with feminisation by others, especially with rape threats that involved pregnancy; and at the same time, sort of looking at pregnancy in society, the way it's treated individually and communally, the way pregnant people are treated, the way pregnancy is racialised, the way pregnancy is treated through lenses of fatness, disability, gender marginalisation, sexuality, immigration status, culture, and the big stratifications of misogyny and the subjugation of those who can give birth, especially those who are multiply marginalised.

Did I feel sick and bad about this because of the threat against my body, because of gender dysphoria, because of gender feels in general, or did I feel sick and bad because of all the injustice that comes with the topic?

And the answer even now is often "all of the above".

#musings

[rjalker]

What I don't fucking understand is that people can understand that when exclusionists were attacking "the asexual invaders" they were not just attacking asexual people, they were also attacking aromantic people, and aplatonic people, and neurodivergent people, but they never explicitly said they were attacking all of these groups -- they lumped everyone together under the word "asexual".

This is something people who give a shit about aspec people understand.

But somehow, when people like JK Rowling or fucking any American republican you can think of starts screaming about how the evil trans people are tricking young autistic girls into transitioning, and we need to stop young girls from ruining their lives by transitioning ---

Somehow everyone just fucking goes along and takes them at their word and nods along like "Yes, yes, of course we don't want cis autistic girls transitioning if they're not trans!! Of course!!!"

Rather than cutting through the bullshit and aknowleding that these fucking bigots are not talking about young girls. They're talking about autistic AFAB trans people.

They are misgendering trans men and nonbinary people and banning us from being able to transition and all the people who supposed support trans and disabled people are just fucking fine with this, and just going along with this, except for literally us????? the ones being targeted with this fucking bullshit?????

Republicans are not fucking making it illegal to transition because they're worried about young cis girls making choices they might regret! They're making it illegal to transition because they fucking hate trans people! And they especially fucking hate autistic trans people!

They fucking hate trans men and nonbinary people and they do not want us to fucking transition! They do not want us to get rid of our precious precious fucking uteruses because then how else are we supposed to make babies for them?? What's the good of banning abortion if we transition in a way that prevents us from getting pregnant in the first place?

People who have fucking morals understand that when Republicans talk about dangerous "trans men" trying to sneak into women's spaces that they're misgendering and demonizing trans women.

But as soon as they start fucking talking about "young girls" who need to be protected from the scary trans people, who are "mutilating themselves", (removing our fucking breasts that they're attracted to, removing our ability to give birth their babies) then suddenly everyone pretends not to understand they're talking about fucking AFAB trans people.

Because even the most staunch "trans inclusive feminists" fucking forget that we exist. They literally think language around pregnancy needs to be made inclusive for trans women's sake, because the idea of trans men and nonbinary people who can get pregnant has never fucking entered their mind, and they don't fucking listen to trans women when they explain, "No, I am not the one that's for!"

You cannot fucking pretend that conservatives screaming about protecting little girls from mutilating themselves by taking away even more of our bodily autonomy than they already have is not about attacking trans people.

Just because the fucking feminists who hate trans people refuse to also talk about us when they talk about the right to an abortion does not mean you get to pretend that we don't fucking exist and pretend we're not being attacked.

An attack on women's rights is inherently an attack on trans men and nonbinary people's rights. Just because you fucking hate that we're not women does not mean you get to pretend we're not also literally losing our rights.

Conservatives do not fucking care about protecting "young girls". They fucking hate trans men and nonbinary people and would rather kill us and strip us of every single one of our rights than let us transition because they see our transitions as mutilation. Because without our breasts, they will no longer find us sexually appealing. And without the ablity to give birth to their babies, there's no longer any point in us existing.

Stop fucking pretending that trans men and nonbinary people aren't being fucking stripped of our rights just because the people taking our right away misgender us while doing it. For fuck's sake.

You don't fucking take bigots at their word when they scream about trans women being "predatory men" so why the fuck have you decided that they're telling the truth when they talk about how they need to protect "young girls"?????

The conservatives who want us dead are infantilizing literally half the trans fucking population as an excuse to strip us of our rights and force us to be their fucking breeding stock and you're all happy to go along with it and pretend it's not happening because they're misgendering us and you want to pretend that means they're not talking about us in the first place.

If you fucking claim that trans men and nonbinary people aren't being targeted by any fucking laws because you fucking take conservatives at their word and join in on them misgendering us, you can go fuck yourself.

Sticking your head in the sand and pretending it's not happening isn't going to fucking solve anything except make it clear how much of a self-centered asshole you are.

#abortion rights #abortion #misogyny #mispergeny #exorsexism #transandromisia #current events #trans genocide #women's rights #feminism #transmisia #trans rights #nonbinary rights #trans men #enbies #enby #queer history #ableism #actually autistic

[izanyas]

Hello!! this is the anon who asked to know more abt the atc world, thank you so much for replying to my ask :)) could you please tell me more about the anatomy and more about the betas cuz in many of the traditional a/b/o verses I've read betas are kinda discriminated. also does the concept of mating and bonding apply for atc?

hello! :) the anatomy in atc isn't really a part of the status separation. i made a point not to focus on that. you can have people of any body sort in any of the three statuses, the main "difference" is in the scent (which can actually be inaccurate from birth—see: meng yao) and the fever cycle (which isn't always present either, or not always in the same way—see: wen ning), the perceived general outside traits... but like with gender irl those traits are way overstated (like women being shorter than men—tons of women are taller than the average man, it's not even uncommon). wei wuxian in standards of beauty doesn't conform to a lot of these assumed traits, and some others don't either (wen yueying, wen qing...).

wei wuxian is intersex and able to become pregnant, but i won't be developing overly much on how that presents itself for him appearance-wise because i think it's rather in bad taste to obsess over that. he has a vagina and a womb, if that's what you're desperate to know. his being intersex manifests in other visible and invisible ways in his body and i've decided on all of it, i did so from the beginning, so i know what they are, but i don't think the readers need to know. there are cis kunze (wen ning, xue yang, meng yao, etc) and trans kunze (luo fanghua, wen yiqian) but gender isn't an actual point of discrimination or differentiation in atc. the whole concept of gender has been replaced by the concept of statuses. so gender is kind of like just another physical trait, like hair color or height or just clothing choices i guess. it doesn't mean anything wrt discrimination, and biology doesn't either.

i'm not gonna pretend it's a super well-developed and failsafe AU in that regard because frankly it's impossible to just completely rewrite gender-based discrimination with fantasy gender-based discrimination. but i didn't want to focus on genitalia because 1) genitalia isn't all there is to gender-based discrimination irl, far from it, 2) i find it weird and i don't want to do it. this way i get to allow trans and non-binary(*) characters to exist within any status. win-win.

therefore, kunze aren't all able to become pregnant and their role in society isn't to provide children anyway, since a child born of a kunze will be considered a bastard. they're seen as rare tradable goods. having kunze concubines is like having anything else that is expensive or rare. it's a statement of wealth and prestige as well as a personal pleasure.

as for zhongyong, it's not discrimination per se, but they are exempt from usual positions of power or notoriety. so they usually don't become heirs unless there aren't any qianyuan to pick up the mantle (nie huaisang). well ig it is discrimination when i say it like that. but the real divide of oppression is between kunze and the rest.

if you think all those assigned traits are stupid then you are right, they are, they are completely man-made and easily proven wrong/inaccurate and far from affecting everyone the same. just like gender irl. that's the point.

no mating or bonding in atc :) and no knotting or self-lubing assholes either afgdjhsksdf. i know a/b/o was created with fantasy/animalistic traits like those specifically in order to spice up smut fic, but since then a lot of ppl have added a social commentary to it, and since i wanted to write about the social aspect and not the smut, i decided not to include the sexual behaviors. this isn't judgment on my part btw. i just wanted to try writing an a/b/o social commentary fic that i thought would make as much sense as possible bc all the ones that i tried reading didn't satisfy me. but like... omegaverse isn't real anyway. there's no rules or anything. everyone go write your mating bonding knotting smut and have fun. that's what the bonding knotting smut was made for in the first place.

(*) i'm using "non-binary" loosely here because considering the setting i don't believe the vernacular can be so directly translated or assimilated to what we see as non-binary today. but yeah just know there are people in atc who are neither man nor woman, or not exactly, or a bit of both, or something else altogether, etc etc

#answered #atc ask #all this to say: i didn't want to base the whole thing on whether you have a dick or a pussy

[anauro]

it’s so confusing to me and i’m trying to educate myself but i get so much backlash when i ask and i get it no one owes someone to help educate them but then they ask why people aren’t educated on a subject it’s like no one will explain

how can you identify as a man and still want to be pregnant? does that not go against your gender identity? i understand some people can’t afford bottom surgery but wouldn’t getting pregnant as a trans male go against who you are considering giving birth is well a women or i guess nb thing?

im not trying to be hateful or rude i’m just curious and trying to learn

Hi anon,

I am not a trans man, so I may not be the best person to address this. I know there are trans men following me, but currently none has this information in their bio, so I will not be tagging them. They can interact with this post if they’d like to.

I will put the rest under the cut, because it's a sensitive topic and some people may not want to read it. I will also tag your ask with warnings, even though I understand you are just curious. Don't take it the wrong way, it is just to avoid dysphoria in people who'd rather not read this.

My advice would be to either google this (quora and reddit has plenty of threads like that) or ask a trans man directly.

I can provide my opinion as a person who isn't cis, but I don't see myself as a man either.

So.

In my opinion, genitals are not something that define you or your gender identity. A trans man may chose to undergo full surgical transition or may stay in the body they were born in and not even go on hormonal treatment. Trans men who aren't on T or who don't bind are just as much men and as valid as the rest of the male identifying community.

I believe this is the first thing you, anon, need to understand. Genitals do not equal gender. Not all trans people want to change their bodies and their genitals. Not only is this a painful, long and expensive process, it is also a risky one and sometimes it's just something that's not desired by the person in question.

I personally am not happy in my current body, I find it too feminine and gross, but it brings me great joy to think there are trans and nb folks out there who don't experience that. I don't identify with they/them pronouns, I go by she/he but am AFAB. For that reason, consuming trans men media (reading, writing, art, porn) feels very euphoric to me. I don't always relate to them, I wouldnt want to be viewed as strictly a man (I like both), but my anatomy relates closer to trans men than it does to trans women or cis women. It makes me feel happy to write trans male characters, simply put.

A man with a vagina or a woman with a penis is perfectly valid.

People who are born with a uterus can choose to use it and I don't think the desire to have biological children invalidates their gender identity. This mentality that pregnancy is a women-unique experience is a social construct and nothing more.

If you want to understand the trans and nb community, you must first understand that nothing in this world belong strictly to one gender only. Anyone can wear suits. Anyone can wear dresses and heels. Anyone can have a penis. Anyone can be pregnant.

Pregnancy for me is something extremely dysphoric. Even before I realised I am not cis, I have had extreme reservations about it. If I ever become pregnant, I would consider myself a pregnant man cause the mentality that I am a pregnant woman would be too damaging for me.

So to wrap it up, this is not a trans man talking, but a genderfluid person. You, anon, need to get rid of this 'x is a women's thing and y is a men' thing' mentality. Or that the state of one's body and their organs and genitals define them. Gender roles are a social construct and a very harmful one.

If anything in this post is factually incorrect or transphobic, please feel free to point it out to me. I too am still learning and always willing to be pointed out where my obnoxiousness or privilege is showing. Similarly, if I missed a tag - let me know asap!

Lastly, I'd like people to not comment on the personal things I described here. If you know me a bit better (aka if we talked one to one on discord), then feel free to message me, but otherwise I am sorry, but I don't care what people think of my personal experiences.

#roc answers #personal #tw dysphoria #tw transphobia #tw trans pregnancy #trans men #trans pregnancy #trans experience #genderfluid #nb #tw pregnancy #tw transitions

[mariacallous]

On September 21, Vladimir Putin announced that Russia would officially begin conscripting people to fight in the country’s war against Ukraine. Contrary to what the bulk of media coverage has suggested, cisgender men aren’t the only people at risk of being sent to war. Some cisgender women and transgender people are at risk of being drafted, too — potentially a lot of them, given that the call-up could apply to as many as 1.2 million Russians. The Feminist Anti-War Resistance and the nonprofit Center-T recently spoke to legal experts about what cis women and trans people should know about the mobilization. Meduza summarizes their advice.

According to Tamilla Imanova, a lawyer from the Memorial Human Rights Center who recently spoke to the Feminist Anti-War Resistance (FAS), the women most likely to be called up for Russia’s mobilization are those who have degrees in certain fields as determined by Russian law: medicine, communications, computer engineering, hydrology and meteorology, printing, and cartography.

“All women are assigned to the third category of Russia’s reserve forces,” said Imanova. “Women with the rank of officer remain in the reserve until 50 years old, while all others are taken off at 45 years old. Unfortunately, the fact that women are in the third [of three] categories doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily be the last to be drafted.”

Instead, she said, who gets drafted will depend on which skills are in demand at the front. And this has already begun to play out: in just the last three days, there have been numerous reports in the Russian media of people with medical degrees receiving draft orders “en masse,” Imanova said.

Certain women in these categories, however, will be spared from mobilization — at least temporarily. According to Imanova, women in the following categories are eligible for deferment:

Women who have at least one child younger than 16 years old, as well as women who are at least 22 weeks pregnant;

Women in reserved occupations as spelled out by the Russian Government (though the only way to find out whether you’re in this category is to asked your employer; the official documents outlining which occupations are reserved are classified)

Women declared temporarily unfit for service due to health issues (for up to six months)

Women responsible for providing constant care to family members or to people with certain disabilities

Women whose mothers have four or more children under the age of 8 and who care for the children in place of their father

Women who work in the defense sector (only for the duration of their employment)

‘Some want to flee, but others can’t — because of their husbands and children’

One woman who works as a doctor spoke to the FAS about how her work has changed since mobilization was announced — and about her fear that she’ll be drafted. As a medical professional, she said, she’s required to report to her local military commissariat if summoned. She’s also not allowed to change her place of residence during mobilization without the military commissariat’s permission.

But because the Russian authorities are trying to have it both ways, maintaining that this mobilization is only “partial,” the doctor has had difficulty keeping up with the specifics, she told the FAS.

“I get my information about the ‘partial mobilization’ and its various odd rules from Telegram channels,” she said. “Every day, it's something new. We don’t get any clear information.”

The woman said a number of employees at her workplace were granted exemptions from the draft, but she wasn’t one of them — and it appears to be too late to get one.

In addition, she told the FAS, the higher-ups at her workplace don’t seem to be concerned about the mobilization at all. “It wasn’t until [September 23] that the head of my department learned that some people hadn’t been granted exemptions,” she wrote, “so 🤡.”

So far, said the woman, nobody at her hospital has received a summons — though it’s only been three days. “There’s one guy who [previously] served in the army,” she said, “and he’s been pale as a ghost.”

She told the FAS that she felt “anxious and panicky,” and that every time she’s found herself idle since mobilization was announced, she’s started shaking. “The other women are in shock, too; some of them are thinking about fleeing the country, while others can’t, because of their husbands and children. [...] The only good thing is that because I’m a woman, I don’t have ‘medic’ written on my forehead, so at least they won’t grab me off of the street.”

A lawyer’s advice for trans people

Despite the fact that Vladimir Putin’s mobilization order doesn’t mention trans people directly, many of them could still be subject to conscription. Center-T, an advocacy group for trans people in Russia, asked Alexander, a lawyer, what trans people seeking not to be drafted need to know.

According to Alexander, if a transfeminine person has a female gender marker in her passport and doesn’t have a degree in a "military occupational" field but was once included in the draft registry, she’s legally supposed to have notified her local military commissariat of her passport change when it was completed. Failing to inform the commissariate is punishable by a fine. Nonetheless, Alexander recommends that anybody in that situation keep quiet for now — unless they receive a summons, in which case he offered a template for requesting to be removed from the draft registry.

Transmasculine people who have male gender markers in their passports are probably not on the military authorities’ radar unless they’ve gone to their local commissariat and requested to be added to the draft registry, Alexander said. There is a chance, however, that somebody could be spotted by a law enforcement official and reported to his local military commissariat, which might require him to register for the draft. In that case, he should insist that he’s unfit for military service when he appears before the medical evaluation board, which every conscripted soldier is required to do before being sent to a combat zone.

In the past, however, the Russian Defense Ministry has done everything in its power to “disown” trans people, including by categorizing them as “unfit for military service” when there’s no legitimate reason to, according to Alexander. Even if a transmasculine person is deemed to be fit for military service after an initial medical evaluation, the lawyer said, he’s legally allowed to submit a written statement demanding an additional one — and that's likely his best option.

[penance-pack]

So, there are frequently posts talking about how pregnancy/periods aren't just a women's issue because they also affect trans people. (By the way, I am 100% in agreement with these posts and if you aren't: 🚪)

But, in the comments or responses to those posts, nearly without fail, there will be someone saying "Trans women can't get pregnant.", "trans women don't have periods" or something to that effect and just like...

Way to get every single part of that wrong. Like, you're erasing AFAB trans people, you're making it abundantly clear you don't think trans women are women, and you're showing an absolute lack of critical thinking skills to not reach the very basic conclusion that trans men exist.

And like, it's kinda fun to point and laugh at, except it's actually a really dangerous thing that it's that common of a reaction. The right has done a very good job at building a cohesive narrative, and framing everything to fit it.

"People with AFAB reproductive parts deserve both a voice and attention with issues affecting someone with AFAB reproductive parts." This is a statement that most people would really struggle to find something objectionable or irrational about.

"Ha! Trans women are so far gone they think they need to buy pads or take birth control." This sounds insanely out of touch to you and I, but it fucking works on conservatives because it falls exactly in line with their narrative.

And I'd like to say this is all bible belt hicks who barely know how facebook works and legitimately haven't thought this through. It's not. It's often terfs and young conservatives who know exactly what they're doing, but trust that their base won't.

And we can share them and laugh at them on very left-leaning parts of tumblr, reddit, twitter, etc. But the thing we need to remember is that there are people not 1/100th as well versed in the actual truth of the situation who will take it at face value, and start to look at the conservative narrative as more rational.

Just like they're fine with people believing Mack Beggs is a trans woman.

Just like they're fine with people believing a photo of children at a cis burlesque show is a drag show.

Just like they're fine with people believing that the suicide rate for trans people is so high because of reasons that have nothing to do with transphobia.

Conservatives can create a really clean and easy narrative because they know their base doesn't fact check them.

So, what's the point of making this post?

If you are someone with the time and energy, instead of sharing to a far-left section of the internet to point and laugh at, call them out. I know "trans men exist" and equally very basic statements may seem incredibly obvious and pointless to make, and you almost certainly will not change the OPs mind, but that simple and basic of a comment can and will change someone's mind. And it may urge them further on to look into if what the right says is actually true (and it almost never is).

Take it from someone who didn't know what a lesbian was until I was 13, even knowing something exists is sometimes the hardest part.

This goes double, by the way, for allies that have the energy to do this. This responsibility does not just fall on trans people.

And, if you don't have the energy to call people out on their bullshit, I get it, and do not begrudge you that at all. But, signal boosting people that do have the energy can go a long way.

#tw transphobia #transphobia #transphobia tw #pregnancy #period #trans #trans masc #trans fem #trans men exist #activism #terfs dni #conservatives dni

[satoumafuyuss]

Hey! This is the trans questioning person again!

To give more details I've been struggling with my attraction for ages. I stopped trying to label it at this point, but it feels very much stunted because I have to be a woman and all the relationships I'll have will be straight.

I think the closest label that would fit is aroallo but god am I unsure of everything. I've always been so extremely detached from dating culture even as a child. I see all those other women who like men but I'm only attracted to people who are gnc. I like men but imagining myself in a normal straight relationship is horribly repulsive and I'm not sure thats how it's supposed to go lol. About women, I've always thought I was bi but I think I kinda forced that label on me to explain why I felt queer.

I'm in a weird spot because I've explained this to a lot of trans people and I've got a lot of answers ranging from "this is normal cis stuff when they interact with trans people" to "this sounds really non binary".

I think the best way I can put it is that I feel like a sort of slug stuck in this body. I'm happy with it because I look great but at the same time a part feels like it's missing. I feel like I have two bodies for one person, but the other male one can't physically exist. I'm ok with being either but it feels like I'm missing out, especially attraction wise. A buddy of mine described it as the therian of gender and urgh yeah its weird.

I've definitely thought about bigender but the community doesn't really feel this way from what I see. It's more one body for 2 which you know is very fair.

Sigh yeah I've been having those thoughts for a while but I also like my status as a woman somehow. Makes me feel good when people see me as a strong/non conforming woman specifically.

Yeah I can definitely see why that would be difficult to fully understand. I think it is important to know that labels are only here to to help us and aren't concrete things and many people also go on as unlabeled (theres even a flag for it lol!). No two people who identify with a label will ever feel exactly the same as another. Experimentation may be a good idea. Like trying new pronouns or something with people you can trust and know how you feel, there's no shame and finding out its not right for you either!

also I feel you about the "imagining myself in a normal straight relationship is horribly repulsive". That's part of the reason I buried my attraction for men for so long tbh. I hated the idea of being a woman dating a man and all the societal pressures that had attached (like expectations of getting pregnant blargh). Have you ever heard of QPRs? They're fairly common in the aroallo community and maybe more so align with what you're looking for in a relationship?

Genderfluid may be closer to how you feel in this case too. being a gnc woman is also a possibility and very cool though. lol gender and sexuality is confusing 😔

#ask #nil rambles

[idkimnotreal]

maybe a very unpopular opinion, i do find myself becoming more conservative as i age into my 20s (or grow, i don't know if i'm aging yet?).

i think nonbinary people have some traits of narcissism. it's about thinking you're more important than other people. like thinking you have any right to demand being called some other pronoun because you feel slightly different. i believe some transgender people are right to feel the way they feel, because i don't think i have a right to tell them anything about themselves more than them. but i also believe transgender identity should only be considered when there is disrupting (in any degree, but disrupting) gender dysphoria in the person's life.

like, there's a lot of discussion over whether people couldn't just be feminine/masculine men or women rather than trans people? and i think when there is gender dysphoria, that's not correct, you should transition if you have experienced that for a certain length of time without interruption (say, a few years). but i think nonbinary identity is a grey area because you could theoretically just be cis and dress differently and still be cis. it's a matter of semantics - language rather than things. it's like it doesn't matter.

i'm a very reserved and discreet person and i can't see myself demanding to be treated a certain way from people in any case. i'm autistic and i'm very, very reluctant to tell that to people in order to ask for anything. in brazil, we have special seats on the bus that certain groups of people can use, including autistic people (and pregnant women, seniors, disabled people). most people don't respect that and just use them anyway. i never do, and i could. i think, hey - maybe someone needs it more than i do. i do my very best to hold things until i'm about to burst and then i ask people for something using the "autism card". because i don't think i have a right to disrupt people's lives over my own suffering. to cause them to suffer, even if slightly, because i don't want to suffer. it's a tradeoff and i don't think mine is worth more than theirs.

that's what sounds odd to me about nonbinary people. it's the assumption that feeling that way is enough for you to be noteworthy. it's not. please understand that people don't hate you because they get your pronouns wrong because you look like a man or a woman. if you ask me to, i will use whatever you want (i feel like asking for pronouns first is more scripted interaction that i don't need, and gender expression has a purpose; if you're very androgynous i'll ask first because i have a reason). it's just that, most of the time, i don't think it would end there and most nb people would keep making demands to be treated right. it's a toxic vibe.

i'm very interested in some psychological/psychiactric disorders and cluster b disorders are some of them. maybe i'm wrong, but i intuitively see a lot of overlap between "that part" of the left and narcissism. it's all me, me, me. why do you want to be so special? i could never think of myself like that. you know, maybe i envy you. but i still couldn't.

(brazil has universal and free public healthcare that offers gender transition service. i'm in favour of the maintenance of this policy and i'd also like for it to be benefitted whenever the system receives larger funding. i'd bet more than half of brazilians wouldn't approve of the system even offering this service at all, if they knew about it, which most people don't as it doesn't concern them. but this fits in my view about transgender identity being about gender dysphoria. it's an actual issue people go through that affects and disrupts their lives and, when the only solution has been proven to be transitioning, then we should help those people transition. medicine is about alleviating suffering, mental or physical. but gender dysphoria is a condition, like autism is. i don't pretend that it isn't, and it makes me uncomfortable that some people today think that autism is an identity first instead of an identity through lived experience, like being gay; this is the same kind of thinking that prevails with nonbinary gender, that it's an issue of identity rather than a condition or a trait that results in a distinct identity because one stands out)