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itsbeaconhillsbaby · 3 years

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shatter us || tom holland x reader

a/n: hello gorgeous people. this is not the cutesy road trip fic that I have planned - the follow up for a luminous love. but instead just a little sprinkle, little dash of some angst for your casual sunday. yikes, I hope you all still enjoy (still ends fluffy bc I'm not a heathen...yet)

since I love hearing your thoughts so much, is there anything you’d personally like to see from me, alongside what i’m working on? hit me up and I might just work on some fic for you, got a full week off work so let me know! as always, stay wonderful and come chat! x

word count: 2166 warnings: we do have a swear and some smashed glass, some sad thoughts but nothing too dark or dangerous - very tame summary: emotional outbursts lead to some much needed conversations

6:10.

There was a lack of chirping birds that morning. The sun stayed behind the clouds, keeping itself out of view. The air cold and stale. Sheets were pulled taught at either end of the bed. Two bodies, usually yearning to be held in each other’s embrace clutching instead to their designated edges.

You were fearful to exhale your breath, one small movement and this frozen moment could all come crashing down around you. As though you were stood at the very edge of a precipice, toes hanging over the side. One tiny blow away from tumbling into a dark abyss.

Before you thought your chest was going to explode from the inside, you felt the springs next to you dip only slightly. The signs of someone moving.

He hadn’t moved all night. You wondered if he’d managed to catch any sleep at all before you felt the bed dip further as he untangled his legs from the sheets, heading into the en suite bathroom.

You reached a hand out from your cocoon, your phone lighting up as you tilted it towards you.

10 missed calls.

15 texts

You’d told your best friend that you’d screwed everything up, unwilling to reveal what happened before you let your tears lull to into a restless sleep.

You weren’t sure at what time Tom joined you. Sighing, you heard the click of your phone locking as you lay it back down.

Tom comes back out of the bathroom, slowing slightly as he sees you curled up in the corner of the bed instead of star-fished or snuggling into his pillow as you usually did when he left the room – resulting in playfighting or cuddles.

“I think we need to talk.”

His voice was rough and scratchy. You slid yourself up against the headboard, pulling your jumper sleeves over your hands and nodding in agreement. You couldn’t speak yet, you weren’t sure you knew how. Words refusing to form as your stomach churned.

“Okay, I’ll see you downstairs then.” He grabs a hoodie of his own before leaving the room, you could hear him moving through the flat.

You take a few deep breaths, taking note of the room around you. glancing over the space you had shared for the past year and a half. Something told you this could be the last morning you’d wake up here.

Exhaling, you slide your feet onto the golden wood crossing the room to reach the bathroom. You splash water over your face, fluffy towel ready to catch the droplets before finishing up.

“Here we go,” you mumble to yourself as you push against the sink counter and head for the kitchen.

////

Tom fills up the kettle, unfocussed eyes staring into the distance. He put it back on its stand before flicking down the switch.

A hand ran through his messy bed head of curls. This was all so wrong, all of it. He told you that he wanted to talk but as he routinely made two teas, he didn’t have a clue what he was going to say. But he began filming in four days and you both had to fix this tension between you. For the first time, you were both unsure of what the outcome would be.

Taking a small brush and pan over to the wall he brushes up the broken glass, hearing it tinkle as he gathers it into the pan, releasing it into the bin, frustrated at his own outburst the previous night.

He’s against the counter stirring the two mugs when you walk in. He motions to the sofa.

He takes you in as you stand in front of him, shyer and more nervous that he’d ever seen you. He hated that you felt like that. Drowning in one of his sweatshirts and a pair of his cotton shorts, your face was tinged pink and he hoped that you hadn’t been crying in the short time it took to make your teas.

You gave a small smile of thanks at the steaming mug he slid across to you before heading to the sofa. You rolled your shoulders, caressing the mug between your hands - letting the heat warm them.

“I’m so sorry-“

You both blurt out simultaneously. His eyes twinkle slightly, as he huffed out a slight chuckle.

“Well that’s a good start at least.”

You nod, stifling a nervous laugh, mouth upturned. He offers you to go first. You take a sip of your tea, letting it soothe your nauseous stomach.

Swallowing, you trace your finger around the rim of your mug. Closing your eyes for a single moment before staring into his, so wide and filled with hurt.

Last night played on repeat in your head.

“Stop saying you love me as a response for when things get too hard - it’s just words Tom! Just because you love me doesn’t mean that I feel loved by you!”

Tom’s mouth fell open, eyes wide as he stood transfixed on you. You stared at him in shock, completely taken aback by your own outburst. The room was blanketed in an unforgiving silence, your voice wobbling at the building honesty that had come tumbling out.

“Wow. I offered to fly you out to be with me before filming officially started for fucks sake! You declined! Was that not enough for you?! Does that not show you I love you? My career is important and I’m sorry that annoys you!”

“That is not what I meant Tom, and you know it.”

His brows furrow, eyes darkening with anger. You wanted to straighten them out with your fingers, lightly gliding over the uncontrollable hairs and press a feathery light kiss in the space between them. Something you usually did when he was tense or frustrated.

“Please, enlighten me then.”

“Fly across the other side of the world to do what?! Sit in silence in a room with you as you read over scripts with Harry. Sit alone in a room whilst you meet the cast and team, stay away so you can go for your lush dinners and lunches. And then fly out when things get underway, that’s unless I want to sit in your trailer day in and day out. I love you Tom and I support you and I think you’re brilliant - I always will think that. But being your hidden girlfriend is exhausting and lonely, and I don’t know if I can do it!”

You’ve never been this vulnerable with Tom before. You’d never let on before how hard it could be sometimes being his girlfriend, how utterly alone you felt. How much of a stranger you felt in regards to Tom and parts of his life.

“Then don’t! If you hate it so much, then don’t be my girlfriend then. Problem solved!”

You gasp slightly, standing completely rigid. Heart pounding in your ears, heat rising through your entire body. You can feel the moisture building behind your eyes, trying so hard to keep it at bay.

“Fine. Wow. Easy fix for the golden boy, got it.”

And with that you turn on your heel and head straight into the bedroom. Door slamming behind you.

Tom throws his beer bottle at the opposite wall. Hands going straight up to his face as he let out a cry of frustration. Glass shards littering the floor.

“Fuck!”

////

“I’m so sorry for saying what I said. It didn’t come out right and I don’t know, I think I was just being dramatic and anno-“

Tom cuts you off with a shake of his head, resting one hand on your leg.

“Don’t do that. Please don’t do that. My response was completely irrational, but you...you were honest and hurt and valid. Do not deny your emotions to make me feel better, that’s not going to fix this. You know I love you, you said it yourself, but you don’t feel loved - and that’s on me.”

You bite the inside of your lip, looking down into your swirling cup. Your heart was beating so fast, it was making you feel almost dizzy.

“I feel pathetic, please let’s just forget it happened Tom.”

Tom takes the cup out of your hand, planting it on the coffee table in front of the couch. He pulls your legs that little bit closer, your body moving forward, closing the gap between you both.

“I can’t forget it. I’ve been playing it on repeat all night. Please just be honest with me. I want to listen. I want to understand.”

You exhale a shaky sigh,

“Sometimes it’s just so much harder than I ever thought it would be, Tom. I love how much you adore your job, you inspire me every single day as I watch you inspire millions of people. but sometimes I feel like an outsider looking in on your life. Instead of feeling like someone you want to share your life with, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hate that.”

He nods, his forehead creasing slightly as he takes in your words, and presses for you to continue,

“And take away all that comes with your job. On the rare days when it’s just me and you, you make me feel so alive. I feel needed and wanted and loved. So loved. But it’s not enough for me to have a few gulps of that feeling. God, it sounds so selfish. I hear it from my own mouth and I sound ridiculous.”

You take a pause. wishing for your voice to straighten out. For that wobble to stop as you can see the concern on Tom’s face rising,

“Maybe there’s been a reason we’ve kept it a secret for so long, because you and I both know that the minute this gets out...everything is going to crumble beneath us, and I’m the one not going to be able to handle it.”

You let out a shaky breath, sniffling as you wipe your eyes with your sleeve.

When you didn’t start up again, Tom gave a deep sigh, before pressing ahead,

“I’ve been doing this all wrong. I thought keeping you out of things would protect you, we agreed on that being the best option. And in the beginning it was. The sneaking around, the constant phone calls, video calls, surprise visits - we did it all.”

You nod in agreement. Your heart sinking. Even though you’d brought it on yourself, letting your insecurities and loneliness take over - you still weren’t ready for the inevitable goodbye that was coming your way.

“But we’ve grown individually, and our relationship has grown. And yeah, there’s a part of me who still wants to keep you all to myself, I know what press and fans can be like. But you’re right.”

You look up at him through wet eyelashes. He catches a tear with his thumb, wiping it away from your cheek,

“I’m not losing you to my own fear. And you’re not losing me to yours.”

“Wait, what?” you whisper, confused.

“You need to talk to me. You need to tell me when I’m not pulling my weight in this relationship, when you’re feeling low like this. Sometimes I do get stuck in my own world a little...and you’re the one suffering for it.”

“So. You do still want me as your girlfriend?” More traitorous tears fall from your eyes, your body relaxing and therefore no longer willing to keep them at bay.

“Oh my god I can’t believe I said that. Of course, I do! There’s no still wanting about it, I’ve always wanted you. Never questioned it for a second. The real question is, do you want to make this public? I want this to be your choice. It’s going to be crazy, but I promise you, I’ll be beside you every single step of the way. I won’t make you feel like you’re on your own again, I promise. Or, if you feel like it’s too much…then we figure something else out.”

He cups the side of your face, thumb still trailing after the tear tracks.

“I’m just scared that it’ll break us, Tom. But we can’t keep going as we are.”

He nods in understanding,

“I won’t let it break us. You have me, all of me, for however long you want.”

You pushed your forehead against his shoulder, his hands coming up to cradle the back of your head as you curl into him.

He can feel your body quivering against him as you finally let yourself feel all the emotions you’d gone through in the past 12 hours, feelings you’d been hiding for far longer than that.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise. I think we needed this. Now we can be better, work harder on loving each other properly. Communicate.”

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” You whisper into his chest, “I thought I’d ruined everything.”

He squeezes his eyes clothes. pressing his lips to the top of your head, releasing soft kisses in between every couple of words,

“No, you’ve not ruined anything. All you’ve done is remind me how much I truly love you. And every day I promise I’m going to show you just how much.”

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurbs #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland angst #tom holland fic #this is my first time delving into the angst side of this and I hope all the pieces connect and its got a natural feel to it #hopefully not too ott #agh the stress #lisa writes

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its-my-little-dumpster-fire · 3 years

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Love love LOVE let it burn good god what a masterpiece. Can I ask you one thing? I think it’s amazing to see a portrayal of a complete sociopath and there’s obviously the big debate of wether or not they can truly love someone but obviously with your fic he kinda has no choice but to love his soulmate even though he resists a lot of the time. His intentions with Dinah were obviously bad but I wondered more about his relationship with Krista, did he care? Do you think he felt some love or feelings towards her? Or was she simply a means to an end and didn’t really care all that much when she died? I loved reading your character I felt like I related. I let people walk all over me even when I shouldn’t. I grow a backbone and then drop it over and over with people and boundaries are hard for me so it felt really cool to read something where I was like WTF ARE YOU DOING BUT ALSO WHY IS THIS ME😂

Can’t thank you enough for creating this masterpiece it’s been really nice to read something different

Um. Wtf. Why am I crying in the club right now?

Jk I have hit snooze 6 times already and I’ll do it again while I write a respond to this message. Literally so kind. Who are you? Be my friend. Or don’t. It’s cool. Privacy. Respect.

Aaaaanywho-snooze.

I’m so glad you love the concept. It’s a weird one for SURE and most days I regret ever starting this monster, but here you are becoming the wind beneath my wings. It’s fine. Billy has a choice, he has many and he makes those choices. Over and over. Usually for himself but then occasionally he’ll do something that’s for his soulmate not for him and it sets off this chain reaction of “oh shit, the tiniest bit of effort and I get all this attention in return? Interesting. How far can I push it?” Far enough that it is a love. Not perfect, not overly romantic, but it’s something just for them. Billy has this security that this person isn’t going to leave him and reader has billy, need I say more.

The rest is under a cut because wow. I rambled. I rambled a lot. But it’s good stuff. Maybe. Idk.

Krista. Oh boy. I have thoughts. In canon, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Krista is a means to an end. He has identified a sympathetic person and exploits it. He’s also been asleep for 8 months, he’s got some energy to burn. She’s a one stop shop for itches to scratch. Sex. Check. Control. Check. Hideout from the law. Check. Confidence booster. Check. I mean, what’s not to “love”? Plus he’s feeling a lot, like all the time and instead of teaching him how to manage those emotions, Krista asks for five blue things then lets him blow out her back. Strategies I never learned in my clinical classes but hey, maybe I was absent that day.

(For anyone planning to come after me, yes it’s a legitimate grounding technique, good for keeping anxious minds present in the moment instead of spiraling into an attack, I use similar methods on myself, but no it is not a sustainable practice for someone with tbi and emotional regulation issues. It’s short term. Billy needs more.)

I think someone can be a means to an end and you can also care when they die. Billy…. Care is a tricky word. I think he cares that his anchor in this world is gone. He had JUST cut ties with his gang when his plans got thrown out the window. Literally. So I think he cares, but it’s a selfish care. It’s a goddammit Dinah you’ve disrupted my life for the last time kind of care. Maybe also he liked her, but I wouldn’t call it love. I don’t think billy has love for anyone who tries to pull a gun on him, no matter how good they are in the sack.

In let it burn… same but also more. In my story, Billy’s relationship with Krista is even more volatile because it’s a release for all the feelings he doesn’t understand regarding his soulmate. With his brain scrambled, he’s experiencing an influx of emotion that previously he maintained a tight lid on. Now he’s impulsive, he’s aggressive, he’s overwhelmed, and he has intense feelings for a person he doesn’t really know or recognize. It’s much easier to channel that all into crazy starfish sex with the attractive therapist he kind of knows rather than process the fact that he may have feelings for his own soulmate.

I love this ask. I wish I had more chances to talk about Billy the Sociopath, I have so many thoughts about it and like…. Pages of notes. But in Let it Burn, it’s hard to bring up in obvious ways. Reader is sadly not me and does not have my obsession with brains. And Billy for all his accomplishments, I don’t think would be self aware enough to identify certain aspects of his behavior without having undergone actual therapy. Idk. Maybe Billy Russo knows what he is. Maybe he doesn’t. Oftentimes I wonder if he also sustained an injury during one of his tours that contributed because flashbacks of vulnerable moments with Frank and hanging out with his kids don’t match up to a post war Billy. It’s a hard line to toe between the idea that he could have a legitimate personality disorder or he’s just a survivor through and through who feels things for people, but can’t afford to because of how messy it all is.

I don’t see any inherent advantages to being cool uncle billy. So part of me wonders if he was always kind of an asshole, a lovable asshole, who after the trauma of war slipped into these murky sociopathic behaviors and it isn’t obvious to his friends bc he’s always been kind of an asshole and he can still charm and manipulate when he needs to while hiding what’s happening with Rawlins. Idk. I don’t have a firm belief yet.

BUT THAT WASNT YOUR QUESTION. YIKEZ.

I’m glad you feel some kinship with this character. It’s really hard for me to do the “reader insert” thing and this was my first time trying it, so sometimes I get really worried that she isn’t written very well because I was trying to make it vague enough for everyone. Eventually I stopped worrying about that and gave her a family and a back story and her own brain traumas. But for real, thank you for reading and I’m so glad you enjoy it and that you took the time to say something.

#let it burn #let it burn reader #billy russo #billy russo x reader #ask the dumpsterfire #you’re a gem #truly

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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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imlostinsantacarla · 4 years

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anon: Dampyr thing for all of them please. If it's not too much trouble? You can write it however you want. Either preferences/would include or whatever is fine by me. Sorry for late reply. Dampyr is from old balkan folklore. My grandma from Serbia used to tell me the stories. It was long time ago so I'm kinda rusty on the details. Basicly, they are half-vampires. They weren't turned, but born that way from human mom and vamp dad. Unlike other half-vamps they look like human but age extremly slow and heal faster. They can't be hypnotized(sorry David your little noodle trick won't work) and their blood is leathal for vampires. They can drink vampire blood and absorb their knowledge.

(a/n: to the anon that requested this! i’m sorry that it’s taken so long to post this and i’m also so sorry that i lost your original request. i’ve worked so hard on this and it took me even longer to complete only bc when i was editing the draft of this piece tumblr didn’t save it so all of my previous hard work was gone. i hope you enjoy these! thanks so much for requesting! - admin kat 🌙❣)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Lost Boys Dating a Damphyr!Reader Headcanons:

David:

° David is quite the nonchalant lad of the bunch, however, even he has difficulty in denying the fact that you intrigue him exponentially. So, it’s safe to assume that this Lost Boy is littered with curiosity over your skills and abilities.

° One thing that David prides himself immensely on is his knack for compulsion. It’s always been his forte, even in the early days of being an immortal being of the night.

° He also made you very aware with how displeased he was when he found out that mental tricks did not work on you. He moped about for a solid week and a half because compulsion is one of the few things in his existence that quenches his constant boredom. Taking that away from him throws everything off balance in his books.

° My boii sincerely attempted to play mind tricks on you from the very start and you certainly were having none of it. But then again, David should be ecstatic because this means that mentally you are in little danger to the tricks and trades of mental attacks.

° It also caused him to begin to ponder about what really was going through your mind most of the time. It almost gave you an air of mystery which he honestly preferred. It made you more challenging to read and less likely to submit. David is always up for a challenge after all.

° David will not lie either, he finds it intensely attractive when you drink from him. He get’s drunk off of the euphoria, your lips pressed to his wrist... The sight is enough to turn him on. I also imagine that vampires (particularly mates) drinking each other’s blood is rather intimate, and by allowing you to drink from him, it shows a more vulnerable side to David. It shows that he trusts you with his life. After all, you are more than capable of sucking him dry if you allowed your impulses to cloud your vision.

° In the heat of the moment, David’s logic is thrown behind a mist of lust and desire. He get’s quite carried away and soon you find his teeth nipping at your neck whilst you straddle him, his fangs pinching the delicate skin wondrously. Your heart flutters it’s blood beneath the surface. If he just sinks his teeth into you he’ll-

° This is where you pull back, breaking all contact and denying him everything that he wants. With a huffing sigh he flops back into the dusty old couch that is situated in the cave, blue eyes pulsing electric. How could you deny him this?

° You mumble a soft reminder, eyes not meeting his piercing gaze. He isn’t able to drink your blood because if he does, he would be no more. This is something that almost enrages him. Why did his mate have to have such an immense drawback? You’ve totally thrown the balance out of his desires.

° “Well, sunshine, aren’t you a little bit morbid.” Acrimony darts from his mouth, followed by a whirl of cigarette smoke. He tilts his head back, bleach blonde hair in disarray from your previous fiasco. His large calloused hands grasp your waist, pulling you closer to his being. He was taunting you. Taunting you for refusing him what he wanted.

° “I won’t be morbid when you’re foaming at the mouth.” You tilt your head to the side, eyes finding his oceanic ones. You were now challenging him, reminding him of what could happen if he allowed himself to grow careless with you. You only meant it well, but David never enjoyed being told what to do.

° “Yeah, yeah, point taken, princess.” He simpers up at you, that smoke wedged between his kissable lips. You pluck it from his mouth and stub the damn thing out before capturing his lips with yours with a hungry fire only he created in you. You had no problem with allowing him to get lost in you once more, only for you to playfully deny him his greatest wish. This was always about control... and you were the one in charge.

° Initially David mocks you about this. Why are you denying him? Are you worried for his safety? Please! He can handle himself, darling.

° But nevertheless, he’s not actually dumb enough to risk it... just in case.

° And it isn’t until one particular night that you miraculously managed to get out of both eye and ear shot from David. Another vampire had unwisely entered Santa Carla and attacked you. David had managed to get there just in time to witness the vampire drinking from you, along with the treacherous torture the vampire ensued as a result of it’s own foolish mistake.

° You healed rather quickly and effortlessly from it, yet you remained seated on the floor, panting wildly. Terror fluctuated through your body, your limbs vibrated in anxiety. It took a few moments for you to soothe yourself. What helped you calm down was discussing why that vampire was dead. You see, the rate in which a vampire dies after consuming your blood matters greatly on the amount it has taken in. If it has drank more then it will die quicker and with less in it’s system it will die slowly. Both ways are excruciating.

° And for the first time in his entire immortal existence, David experienced the heebie jeebies. He hadn’t even had time to pull the vampire from you prior to it dying on the spot. The memories were a vivid ordeal that continued to play behind his eyes.

° But was he scared out of his mind? Well, Paul definitely thought so!

° “Well, I guess you weren’t fooling around with the lethal part, princess.” David wedged a smoke between his lips and lit it, the glowing amber in the dark alleyway the only light. The way David had uttered the statement seemed almost mocking. Just like him. You knew he was only covering up the cluster of emotions underneath the surface.

° “Yeah, no kidding.” You muttered bitterly, a roll of your eyes causing your blonde boyfriend to chortle under his breath.

° “And I was also right about something else, y/n. The whole experience is definitely morbid.” He concluded, his gloved palm finding yours in the darkness to hoist you up onto your feet and into his protective embrace. He’d be damned if he allowed anything like this to happen again.

° David is quite known for his protectiveness over the people and things that he holds dearest to him. He also has a possessive streak that is unrivaled by any of the other boys. That vampire attacking you only caused him to hover closer to you when he could, a relaxed arm draped over your shoulders, hands placed firmly on your waist... you name it! There was a primal instinct in him that made him feel slightly perplexed. He wanted you all to himself and he wasn��t going to allow anyone else to take you away from him.

° As stated above, this blonde bad boy is possessive and high-key selfish. He only desires to have your entire attention focused on him. He also feels that it’s his job to keep you safe, but that can be hard when it’s the day time.

° “Well, well, well, how’s my special vampire doing today?” David would smirk in your ear, rough voice husky as he chortled. His teeth scraped tenderly against the shell of your ear, his cool breath fanning against the delicate skin of you neck, eliciting a deep shiver from your being. He was surely satisfied with that.

° “Would you stop calling me that, David? I’m not even a real vampire.” You’d roll your eyes in an exaggerated motion, shaking your head softly whilst you attempted to mask the smile that began to spread across your countenance.

° “Not until hell freezes over, dear.” He’d grin triumphantly in your ear.

° “Urgh!”

° At times David will attempt to still perform compulsion on you which he only does to get under your skin. As a result, all it really does is cause you and the boys to fall into bouts of intense laughter.

° “You sure it doesn’t work, love?”

° “Yeah, I think with hundreds of failed attempts you’d have realized that for yourself, babe.”

° “Alright, if you say so.”

° It’s also a known fact that David has no regard for human life whatsoever, and along with Paul, he really isn’t overwhelmed with joy when you sustain yourself on human food. Since you were brought up to be human, it’s quite difficult for you to let go of your human moral compass. The human part of you tells you not to harm humans. But David also see’s that as a challenge.

° David really wants you to feed from humans because logically vampires are far stronger when they do. So that obviously applies to your kind, right? Well, not so much. See, a full vampire needs to hunt and feed every night to curb the intense thirst that they feel. You do not. You’re able to go with longer periods of time without blood and sustain yourself of human food, even if it makes you less strong. So it takes a little while for David to realize that. It also takes him some time to understand that your ability to blend in as a human makes it particularly difficult for hunters to figure out what you are. Very smart.

° Going on hunts with David are bonding experiences. Before him you hadn’t ever hunted. You had stolen blood bags from the hospitals and blood drives, which had quenched your craving for it. So to begin with you were very awkward when feeding. David needed to show you the ropes, had to teach you to relax and let your instincts kick in.

° Although you are a half vampire, you are very different from Star, Laddie and Michael. You were born one, which actually sets you apart from the other non-born vampires. Like you are capable of walking in the sun without it making you feel weary and exhausted (this is due to you having been exposed to it your entire life, which almost created some form of immunity to it because your mother shunned the other part of you, conditioning you to be more human than vampire).

° To find out that absorb his knowledge when you feed from him makes him very intrigued to say the least. As David is possessive, he won’t allow you to feed from any other vampire. He’s caught off guard when you tell him about memories, etc. that you have absorbed from him.

° As pay back for all the mocking he does to you, you’re kind of an ass about it all. You tend to bust out terribly embarrassing memories from long ago that the boys never let him live down. Now that they’ve resurfaced, David isn’t too keen about it. Cue him then being a grumbling and pouting mess about it for awhile after. I mean, you basically roasted him in front of his boys so of course he’s feeling sensitive afterwards. But that sorta stuff doesn’t go unpunished, my lovely.

° It’s definitely a given that David would halt any and all of the rude things the other boys may say about you. He won’t tolerate any of it. Not even a funny look will be cast upon you.

° You have to understand though that things have been challenging with Star, especially since she rejected their life style. The boys find it hard to trust newcomers because of that but also due to their pasts as humans. But with that said, he’ll still harmlessly tease you. Harmless teasing from the boys is also alright. Though as soon as it begins to upset you, that’s when he’ll shut it down instantaneously.

° David is also certainly watchful over you when hunters are around. Those are the moments in which he will not allow you to leave the cave in the day time. If you’re going out, it’ll be at nighttime with him and the boys. His worst nightmare is you dying or getting hurt. He’s literally the most dramatic of the bunch. You sometimes think he’s just being a control freak, but usually something will happen that’ll make you realize that he’s only trying to keep you safe.

° Yes, you may heal quite swiftly, but he’s really certain that you won’t come bounding back from a stake to the heart.

° In the bedroom department, David is very dominant. He’s in charge and despite what others may think he is a rather passionate lover. The fact that you’re a Damphyr allows him to ease up a bit. Since you’re more durable than a human he can ease up and just enjoy the experience. He totally uses his super strength and speed, you don’t complain either.

° David is low-key a nerd and researches the legends and myths of hybrid vampires, Damphyr’s, etc. in every country. Sometimes he’ll put your skills to the test and you bet your backside that he’s all smug about it (especially when you can’t do something). Your mate is kind of an ass not gonna lie.

Dwayne:

° Dwayne’s interest is undeniably peeked when he figures out that you’re a Damphyr. Now there’s even a sliver of something that you both have in common. You’re both vampires, - well you’re half of one -. Sincerely, he finds you so mesmerizing. He’s only ever heard of vague and patchy legends of your kind that are more like myths.

° But hey! It gives him the courage to peek out of his shell a little more and begin talking with you. You both hit it off instantaneously and it all just blossoms from there.

° Although you may heal quite swiftly and possess more strength than a human, Dwayne cannot resist it when his protective and watchful nature kicks in. So you better be prepared for him to still be a meat wall that always slots itself in between you and any possible threat.

° He’s very aware of the fact that you can fend for yourself, he has no doubt in your abilities, I promise you that. Being vigilant of those that he loves is something that comes quite naturally to Dwayne, - he’s even protective of his fellow Lost Boys -. Consider it to be a good thing that he wants to keep you safe.

° He allows you to drink from him whenever you may feel the urge to, but he’s not like David where he’ll hound you about it. Dwayne is rather relaxed and knows you can’t live off of him because A) You’d kill him. And B) You need something else for sustenance too.

° Hunting with Dwayne has now become the normal thing. Primarily it was peculiar for you as you had never fed with another vampire around. You had always kept that to your lonesome. So during your first ten feedings he would accidentally make too hasty of a movement, which would kick start this primal instinct in you to fight him for your meal and territory. But you’re forgetting that Santa Carla is his territory.

° It’s a blessing that Dwayne is so grounded and relaxing, because he was able to defuse the tension and anxiety you felt in those moments. He’d reassure you that he wasn’t there to steal your meals or to harm you. He was doing this to help you for when you hunted with him and the boys. But if it proved far too overwhelming for you, he would give you your space when you hunted because he totally empathized with you.

° Out of all the Lost Boys he is the most chill and relaxed when it comes to you living out more as a human. Dwayne is very appeasing. His energy helps even Paul stay rooted down in the present moment. But that doesn’t stop him from being a wild one! But nevertheless, he’s very tolerant of your human nature coming into play in everyday life. It doesn’t bug him in the slightest.

° In fact, he encourages it! Dwayne doesn’t see the point in trying to get you to suppress a part of you that is totally natural to your being. In all honesty, he thoroughly enjoys the simplicity of sitting on the counter tops in your kitchen and watching you cook yourself a home cooked meal. He’ll even sample some of it and tell you what he thinks. Although he’s really not a fan of when you use garlic!

° So since you’re a born half vampire, Dwayne really does comprehend that you don’t just require or need blood in order to keep yourself and your hunger fulfilled. There’s honestly no pressure on his part for you to have to feed on human blood. You could even drink animal blood and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash!

° Though the more human blood you consume the stronger you are. Yet you’ll never be as strong as a full vampire, and Dwayne totally get’s that.

° Dwayne is the biggest softie known to man because he loves listening to your heartbeat! And in my opinion, I think that it would run a tad bit slower than an actual humans heartbeat. Just the sound of it makes him grin so wide that it’s as though the sun is beaming brightly across his face! Urgh i’m dying!

° This raven haired boy is really known for not taking anyone’s bullshit and when it comes to you? He’s not going to stand for anybody disrespecting you. This is regardless of whether it’s the boys or not and in any context. He will not let anybody push you around.

° And again, within regards to the boys, Dwayne will shut their shit down pronto! Rude comments, nasty looks, you name it! None of it is tolerated in his books.

° And you best believe he’s flattened Paul at least once for saying something dumb about you.

° Much like David, Dwayne wishes to know more about your kind and will secretly research it. He get’s pretty abashed when you know that he does. The boys tease him a lot for it, especially in front of you, but you swear it’s adorable.

° Every once in awhile he will tell you facts he’s read up on or heard about in regards to your kind. He likes it when you debunk whether that’s a myth or not, and there’s even a lot that you still don’t know.

° “Hey, I uh- I heard your kind tend to become hunters of vampires, well, your kind mainly hunts your fathers because your fathers are the vampires.” He’d pipe up from beside you softly, his orbs landing on everything else but you. If he wasn’t dead you swore he would be blushing bright red by now.

° “Where did you learn that?” You’d bat your lashes at him, almost stunned he’d heard about that.

° “Nowhere, just heard it around.” Dwayne would smile softly, his deep eyes peeking at your face as he rubbed the rear of his neck sheepishly.

° “If you’re asking me whether I’m a vampire hunter or not, then fortunately for you the answer is no.” You’d grin up at him. That was a relief for him.

° Since he’s a vampire, Dwayne doesn’t tend to regard human life all that highly because to him and the boys, humans primary source to them is being prey, nothing more. However, since you are part human, he’s more tolerable of humans and their nature, even if it can a little confusing for him to figure out.

° Yes, I’m aware that he too was once human round about 80 years ago, but I like to imagines that as the years have stretched on his human nature has dwindled into nothing. Vampire morals are much different from human morals. He’s also dead and hunters consider him to be soulless now.

° Due to Dwayne’s vigilant nature, he is always apprehensive whenever you do get hurt, - even the thought of you being injured or killed sends him into an internal panic! He knows that you can heal quite impressively, yet it never stops him from experiencing worry over you. He cares about you after all.

° For all he knows, there could be some sort of poison out there that could kill you instantly!

° It’s a scarce occurrence for Dwayne to fill you in on his fears and anxieties (big or small). Dwayne is particularly physically strong and at times he feels like he needs to keep up a guard, like he’s holding all the pieces together. So even though he doesn’t directly tell you these worries, he still feels these said cluster-fuck of emotions. This can be quite challenging for him to digest, so some patience is needed on your behalf.

° Consistently this occurs because you have been though and he requires a lot of comforting from you, along with reassurances that you are alright.

° And afterwards, he is at your side as much as physically possible. It may feel a bit smothering but please do remember that Dwayne once had a brother named Jasper whom he lost a long time ago. You are now one of the only people that he has left that he loves and cares about.

° Compulsion isn’t Dwayne’s forte really; he’s never been good at it anyway. That’s more David’s style and the raven haired vampire is okay with it. However, he is intrigued about it not having an affect on you. He’s a huge advocate for your own free will and would never screw around with it.

° He is also incredibly relieved that hypnotization doesn’t work on you because David can get carried away with those sorts of things. You’re mentally protected which means one less thing for Dwayne to fret over.

° You’ve also got a lot more stamina than the average human (as does Dwayne) so there are plenty more rounds when it comes to the bedroom side of things, which he’s really into. ;)

° Dwayne is a very passionate lover whom enjoys taking his time in worshiping your body. Your added stamina means you can go for hours, which is just the way he prefers things.

° At times he does forget that you are only part vampire until something occurs that reminds him of it.

° He contemplates about the little things that you do when he’s not around or just in general. Do you hanging sleep upside down from the ceiling like him and the boys? Does garlic irritate you as much as it does the full vampires? Do you sleep through the day just like them? It’s honestly seriously adorable.

° Despite having a quiet nature, Dwayne will ask you a lot of questions, though he’s got an incredibly amazing knack for spreading them out so as to not cause you to feel bombarded or overwhelmed by his curiosity.

° Also Dwayne is really a phenomenal listener. He just loves the sound of your voice and could listen to it for hours!

° Dwayne has never seen firsthand what happens to vampires when they drink from your kind and he’s not bagged on the idea on finding out or even daring to try it out for himself. He’s ballsy but not that ballsy! As soon as you told him he took your word for it.

° Genuinely though Dwayne does take a lot of what you say as the truth. You’re the one who’s experiencing it. Every Damphyr is different just like every vampire, werewolf, human, etc.

° You’ve also become apart of the boys family, which surprisingly enough, Max allowed. So all in all, Dwayne is intensely ecstatic that he get’s to spend a lot time with you.

° He is aware that you age far slower than a human which is a relief to him. It’s just a little unknown to either of you on whether you will pass away one day as the legends are all conflicting. Even you are unsure about it. You boy try not to dwell on it all that much because then things become depressing.

° And that’s another worry of his. You dying. He genuinely just wants to spend forever with you. Poor baby.

° Dwayne is literally the best boyfriend ever tbh. My heart m e l t s just thinking about it!

Paul:

° Paul has never shut up once in his whole entire life, so it’s safe to say that he won’t be shutting his mouth when it comes to you either. I mean that in the sense of him inquiring a lot about you. This is totally expected at this point, and in all honesty, half of them don’t even make any sense, - particularly if he’s high or drunk -.

° “So you can run really fast right?”

° “Well, faster than a human.”

° “Does that mean you’re like the flash then, doll?”

° Give the poor boy a break though, he really is trying here!

° And funnily enough, Paul is without a doubt convinced that you’ve got some sort of super power that you’re not showing anyone. You think that this is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. But Paul? Nah, he won’t relent until you show him. Even the boys join in on the teasing.

° “I dunno, dollface. I really think you’re hiding something. C’mon! It’s me and the boys. There’re no humans around.” He’d grin that perfect heart melting smirk at you. “We won’t blow her cover will we boys?”

° “He’s right, y/n! We won’t tell anyone.” Marko would call from across the cave, causing you to roll your eyes.

° “The only thing I’m hiding from you guys right now is my fist from your faces!” You’d shout back, attempting to hide the grin spreading across your face. You did a poor job of it.

° “Now you’re definitely hiding something! I can see you grinning like you’re sneaky, babe, but you’re not. I swear, I’m onto you.”

° “Have you been sniffing news print or something?”

° “Awe, c’mon, babe! Just show me already!”

° Although Paul isn’t very gifted in using compulsion, he was one of the few boys that was a bit bummed out when he found out it didn’t work on you. But really he knows it’s a good thing because it leaves you less vulnerable to mental attacks from anyone. That’s one less thing for him to worry about when it comes to your safety.

° Hunting with Paul is a nightly date. In fact, he encourages you to feed because he wants you to be as strong as you possibly can be. He’s just worried about you getting hurt when he isn’t around. It also takes awhile for him to understand that you don’t need so much blood to stay sustained.

° He is also the chillest out of all the boys when it comes to you feeding from other vampires. Sure, he likes it when you feed from him, but he won’t be mad if you have the urge to feed and get your fill from another vampire. That sort of stuff just doesn’t really ruffle Paul’s feathers.

° And besides, that gift can come in handy for him and the boys. You absorb knowledge from other vampires, which means black mail! Every vampire has some sort of dirty laundry or terrible baggage that they don’t want anyone else to know.

° With that said, he really wants you to feed from Max because he’s an asshole and such a terrible ‘father’. Paul really wants to know all the man’s dirty secrets and to use them against him. Which is when David has to step in and remind him that Max is much older and stronger than them all combined and if you did that to him, Max would kill you instantly. But it doesn’t stop him from wanting you to do it.

° He is second on the scale (next to David) when it comes to his displeasure towards your human self. Human life is very boring to him. Yes, he once was a human a long time ago, but he’s been there and done that already. He’s also lost touch with his humanity and it will never return. So, in conclusion to this point, he’s more adamant that you feed from humans instead of gaining sustenance from human food.

° Hunting with you is such a huge turn on for him. Afterwards you should expect without a doubt that he’ll either bring you back to your place, the cave or tuck you into a dark alleyway and have his way with you. Just seeing you drink from people and letting your inner vampire out is genuinely the sexiest thing this boy has ever seen!

° Poor boy tends to forget that he’s a vampire, so the fact that you’re more durable is better because he’d break an actual human in half by accident just by nonchalantly hitting them playfully on the back. He actually did that once and he panicked for a good two minutes. Marko had to help him bury the body.

° “I swear I didn’t mean it, man!”

° “Paul, you literally kill people on a nightly basis. Stop panicking!”

° “Oh yeah.”

° This boy loves to play fight and it’s on a c o n s t a n t basis with you. He doesn’t go easy on you either, he either wins or won’t play fight at all. There’s no in between with this vampire.

° You best believe that Paul has at least attempted to drink your blood once! You certainly did stop him because it’s an obviously big no, no! It’s lethal for his kind to drink your kinds blood, and you love Paul a lot, so you want him to be alive.

° When you reminded him of this predicament he just laughed in your face and said it’d be worth it.

° “C’mon, babe! I let you drink from me...” He’d pout miserably at you, baby blue eyes swelling in size. You hated it when he pulled those puppy dog eyes on you.

° “Do you want to die in the most painful of ways?” You’d arch your brow comically at him with a soft tilt of your head.

° “No, not really.”

° “Then you’re not drinking from me, Paul.” You’d hum softly against his lips, fingers already tangling in his blonde mane.

° And as if on cue, he’s the biggest pouting baby you have ever encountered for the next week or two. Honestly, this boy is so dramatic when he doesn’t get his way! However, you make it up to him by going hunting with him twice in one night. That helps him forget all about not being able to drink from you.

° And then one night down the line he witnesses firsthand what happens to vampires when they drink from you. Let’s just say the poor blonde is totally traumatized from the whole experience. He needed that good green stuff to forget at least a fraction of the agony that other vampire went through.

° “Thank God I had the brains not to feed from you. Jesus, babe! Who knew you were such a savage.” He’d ramble with a cigarette wedged anxiously between his lips.

° “Brains? I literally had to push you off of me, Paul.” You’d grin widely, shaking your head in disbelief.

° “Yeah, yeah!” He’d wave off your comment, taking a deep drag on his smoke. “But did you see the blood come out of his eyes? What a sorry loser!”

° Whenever he’s mad at the other boys he tells them to go drink from you as an insult lmaoo. I’m not even kidding.

° Even though he’s very goofy, Paul is pretty serious about you though. Everything to do with you he’s fascinated about, even if it seems a little weird. It’s just because you make him so happy. Honest, he’s just a big ball of sweetness when it comes to you.

° He’s not a researcher, so why would he start now? He knows that you’ll just tell him what he’s right and wrong about and all the details in between. Sometimes he listens pretty intently, but other times he doesn’t because he becomes distracted by your boobs or starts thinking about how pretty your lips are and how much he really wants to kiss them. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way though, you’re just the biggest distraction for him.

° This guy is a genuine horndog™ and will be on you 25/7. The boy is the most touch orientated fellow out there, it’s honestly unreal! But you don’t complain because you love it when his hands are all over you.

° Still to this day your family doesn’t understand why you moved into the hotel that fell into the caves in the cliffs. Like seriously? That place doesn’t even have a working bathroom! But you moved in anyway, and pretty much you’ve stayed there out of defiance against your family now. None of the boys bring it up any more because you just go off on a tangent about it.

° “Can you turn people into vampires?”

° “Do you feel anything since you ate that piece of garlic bread 3 hours ago?”

° “Do you sleep upside down hanging from your ceiling?”

° “Can you walk in the sun without bursting into flames?”

° “So like when your parents did it, did-”

° “I’m not talking about my parents doing it, Paul.”

° “But babe! It’s for science!”

° Paul is just as goofy with you as he would be with a full vampire or human mate too be honest. Nothing changes in that department.

° High-key thinks you’re a badass and will not shut up about it to the other boys. David has put a ban on any mention of you or your name from Paul when you’re not around. Honestly, it drives David mad!

° Although Paul doesn’t take much seriously, he still freaks out in a pretty gnarly context whenever you do get hurt. Paul is the most emotionally reactive out of the boys (as seen when Marko was killed and he went directly after the Frog Brothers). You can bet your pretty backside that he’s taking anyone down swinging, violently. Definitely violently!

° “Dwayne told me your kind become vampire hunters. Does that mean you’re one?”

° “No, but if Dwayne doesn’t pipe the fuck down about it I will be.”

° That literally made David laugh so hard he had tears streaming down his face. You’re really bold for saying that. Even David wouldn’t have said that about Dwayne with Dwayne literally sitting opposite of him. But you did. So rip to David but you’re different.

° “I hope you live for forever, babe. I don’t think I could live without you.”

° "Awe, Paul!”

Marko:

° Akin to the other boys, Marko is incredibly curious about you. Besides Paul, he is the most intrigued when it comes to you and your abilities. He hasn’t ever met a Damphy in his entire existence and he never knew they existed... until you came stumbling into his life.

° The pair of you feed together whenever you get the chance to. Hunting with the other boys causes you to draw into yourself. It’s an intimate thing for you to share with someone which Marko completely understands. It’s no biggie!

° So you’re a little feeding shy? Marko isn’t bothered by it. He enjoys hunting with you, because a couple that hunts together stays together, am I right?

° Much like David and Paul, Marko just assumes that you’re pulling his leg when you tell him if he feeds from you he’ll die. You have to go into a deeper depiction on how your kind usually hunts vampires (especially your fathers as they are typically the vampires) so your blood is built to be poisonous to full vampires, it’s aroma as sweet as honey in order to lure them in like the sorry flies that they are.

° This news doesn’t really phase Marko in the slightest. He thinks it’s gnarly that your blood can do that to a full vampire. David thinks he’s insane, but Marko loves anything weird and quirky, especially gruesome. He’s a horror fanatic in my eyes!

° Although he’s the smallest out of the entire group, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t possess an intelligent mind. He believes that if what you’re saying it the truth and only but the truth then he’s not stupid enough to risk it. He quite enjoys sleeping all day and partying all night, thank you very much!

° Marko would be nothing more than a fibber if he said that you feeding from him turns him on. Like David, he uses it as a way to strengthen the bond between you. He’s mindful during the whole experience to not let his desires take hold and bite you. He’s looking to enjoy the passionate ride you two are involved in, not die a premature death.

° Unbeknownst to most, Marko has a rather possessive streak when it comes to you. What’s his is his and he doesn’t really like to share. This causes him to receive a cornucopia of teasing from the boys, but he doesn’t really care. He’s the one with a hot Damphyr mate. In his eyes he’s already won.

° Following his vampiric nature, Marko doesn’t care all too much for human life and it’s fragile nature. I mean, because you’re a born half-ling, he’s got to deal with your human nature that runs just as strongly in you as the vampiric nature. The two often collide with one another, creating a deep rooted sense of conflict within you that is really difficult for Marko to watch. You actually feel guilt for the victims you feed from, which took awhile for him to get used to.

° After all, you need to feed to live. So why do you need to add guilt into the mix? The other boys don’t get it either, they tease you about it, but once they begin to see the actual effect consistently killing does to you, they snag a lot of blood bags because you’re not actually killing anyone any more. Just chill out.

° Marko is a hard nut to crack. I mean that in the sense in which he hardly let’s on what he’s thinking and feeling in any given moment. It takes years of knowing him to understand him. But one thing that is totally apparent is his protectiveness over you. He would without a doubt die for you, no questions asked. If it meant that you lived, he’s willing to sacrifice himself.

° “Listen, babe,” Marko murmured into the darkness of the hotel, his voice quiet as he leaned against one of the crumbling cave walls, “I know you’re capable and all of taking care of yourself. But like, can you stay here tonight? The boys and I got word there were hunters in town. I’d hate to see anything happen to you, you know?”

° Marko will defend you till his last breath! Ya boii will fight for your honor at the drop of a hat. Surf Nazis, the other boys, a random kid looking at you funny, you name it! He’s prepared to fight anyone anywhere!

° “Hey asshole! Mind waiting in line like a normal person instead of cutting in front of my girl like that?”

° “Marko!”

° “What, babe? I asked nicely.”

° Marko is the biggest sweetheart nonetheless and it’s a ritual that he gives you his jacket whenever you get cold. The s o f t vibes that flood off of him makes your knees goes weak. You’re such a sucker for sweet Marko.

° “I swear to God, you touch my girl again and I’ll rip your hands off, buddy!”

° “What’d you say to her you asshole?”

° “You say that again and I’ll rip your tongue right out of your head.”

° The amount of times him and the boys have been kicked off of the Board Walk because Marko got into a brawl over you is well over the hundreds by now. You seriously don’t feel like there’s a need for him being so protective because you’re stronger than most mortal men and women, you can kick ass on your own.

° If you blabber a lot in order to tell him about yourself he just grins his infamous Cheshire grin and kisses your lips softly to shut you up.

° “Was I rambling again?”

° “Just a little.”

° “Sorry!”

° “It’s all cool, babe. I love it.”

° When you educate him on your kind he thinks it’s the most adorable thing in the world because he can tell that you’re very passionate about the subject. You often catch him staring at you, head cocked to the side as he beams at you. The sight causes your heart to splutter as though it’s giving up which he only laughs in return to.

° “What? Do I have something on my face?” You’d hum, fingers darting to your cheek as your brow creases in confusion.

° “Nah, babe.” Marko grins, leaning closer to you, his crystal blue eyes gazing down at your mouth prior to meeting your gaze once more.

° “Then why are you staring at me like that?”

° He tends to ask you questions when it’s just you two, it gives him the space to relax because none of the other boys are listening in. He keeps all of your secrets. He’s a trustworthy vampire!

° “Does garlic work on you then?”

° “No, I literally just ate garlic right in front of you Marko.”

° “Oh yeah!”

° If hunters are rampant in Santa Carla he’s more than down to keep you safe. He’s never opposed to kicking some hunter ass! Even if you’re capable of defending yourself, he’s kind of an idiot and will get involved anyway. Again, that’s only because he feels strongly about you.

° Marko tends to sit back and observe the way you use your gifts. He laughed so hard when David attempted to use compulsion on you. The boys never let David live that down for a solid three months!

° Similar to the other boys, Marko is relieved that mind games aren’t something that can affect you. You’re fully aware of what someone is attempting to do to you, which makes you more honest and Marko enjoys that about you.

° He also thinks it’s incredibly hot when you call out David. Like his babe can’t get any better to him! No one stands up to David. The fact that he’s got a Damphyr mate that’s ballsy like that makes him happy. You fit right in with him and the boys, no doubt.

° Marko never holds back in the bedroom department, and the fact that you can withstand far more than a human, it allows him to worship your body for hours on end. He’s the most notorious tease out of all the boys, and isn’t afraid to make you work for what you want. He gladly suffers the consequences afterwards because in his eyes, you begging for him was all worth the teasing he received from you the next few nights.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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masterhandss · 4 years

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WATCH ME RAMBLE ABOUT THE HAMEHURA SPINOFF

My Next Life as a Villainess! All Routes Lead to Doom! have officially taken over my headspace, and I really want a platform to talk about it. I’ve read the manga and novels over and over again, and I’m so happy to seeing the reactions of everyone to each anime episodes.

Though surprisingly, other than obviously the original novel, what actually piqued my interest in the series is actually the spinoff manga for hamehura, “I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess With Only Destruction Flags... In a Dire Situation!? Verge of Destruction Arc”. Yes, it has a spinoff.

(This might be considered spoilers for the spinoff and anime, be warned!) I just want to ramble about it and give my critiques, opinions and expectations. My words might not make sense if you haven’t read the spinoff, but I think having a general gist of the events of the original anime/novel/manga is enough to read through my vents and rambles. also there’s screenshots here so there’s that.

It’s basically the same plot as the anime, but if Katarina regained her memories of her past life during the events of Fortune Lover, within the school year, instead of when she was 8 years old like the original novel.

I don’t even really know if I’m in the right place to comment on it, considering it only has like 6 chapters (with the 7th one still being a month away) anyways and has a lot of time to expand and grow it’s concept, but gosh darn it, I want to talk about it!

I really really love the premise of the spinoff, and i think it’s much more compelling than the original novel. The novel wins by being more wholesome and heartfelt, but with the spinoff, we get to see Katarina play this “game” in hard mode” where she doesn’t have the connections that she would’ve had if she remembered sooner. There’s a sense of urgency in the plot that you don’t really have in the novel because she had already won everyone over before the game even begins. Both premises are charming, but this one really lifts up the concept of the title.

While I’d love to say that i’m excited to see this alternate version of the plot and find out how Katarina would solve herself out of her destruction, sadly the spinoff still follows the original material very religiously, preventing the spinoff as really coming out into its own (again, I could be wrong, there’s only 6 chapters so far after all but from what we have so far, it’s practically identical to the manga/novel).

I think one of the greatest strengths of the spinoff is that it would take it’s time in the Magic School because Katarina only has one year to put the odds in her favor, instead of years, so it means we wont speed through her school life like the novel/anime/manga did.

This is why my favorite part of the spinoff is Sienna, Katarina’s main underling when she was still the villainess of Fortune Lover. I love her because her existence provides a reason for the writer of the spinoff to find ways to insert her into the original plot, or to write new ones altogether in order to include what I imagine to be Katarina’s new best friend in this timeline.

Sienna’s existing can also be a sign of a possible future conflict regarding Katarina’s behavior post-accident. In the original novel/manga, it was okay for the snobby and spoiler Katarina to suddenly become dense and gluttonous, because she was 8 years old, and thus in the eyes of the adults, still had a lot of time to grow and develop her character. It’s still weird of course but it can be written off as such. With the event happening during the events of Fortune Lover, characters such as Maria and Geordo are obviously confused but her change of heart. Personally, I’d love to see her underlings and other students call her out on her behavior (especially since we are about to see the dynamic of Keith and Katarina in this timeline) because of how abrupt and sudden this change was. The spinoff tries to run away from this problem by writing off Mary and Alan as “not knowing much about Katarina other than rumors” but I doubt it, considering how much they would probably encounter each other in social gatherings and such. For them to not have an independent impression of her seems lazy to me to be honest, because not having an opinion on her means that she can act in any way that she wants and it can be considered as her being normal to them.

Because of how faithful this spinoff is to the original material, the banter that characters would have about Katarina feels undeserved, such as Geordo being possessive of Katarina during her interactions with Alan, despite not being interested in her until now. Bare in mind that at this point, Geordo had already met Maria (who piqued his interest during their first encounter, according to Katarina in the original novel) and only just gained interest in her fiance because of her out-of-nowhere change in personality. the banter between the twin princes doesn’t feel right when you factor in that he doesn’t care about Katarina enough (yet) to find his brother as a threat. To be honest, I wouldn’t even have this problem if the spinoff wasn’t so loyal.

This also opens up the question of how she will gain rapport with the characters in Fortune Lover. The spinoff pulled off Mary and Katarina’s friendship through their similar interests in gardening, but without the mistake of taking Alan’s in game dialogue, Mary has no reason to be attached to Katarina at all, and is definitely in love with Alan.

I mean i’d be okay if the spinoff writes off their relationship as just friends, but then again that ruins the charm that the original novel had (which is that Katarina catches love interests like she does with pokemon) which can be both a good thing and a bad thing (I don’t mind if they don’t have the harem, but maybe that makes it too far from the source material idk)

This is why I don’t want the spinoff to be religiously loyal to the source material! Keith’s introduction makes me nervous because there is absolutely no way that the spinoff can follow the original method of winning him over without making it look ridiculous, so obviously his route will have to be written from scratch. It’s not the rewrite that makes me nervous, it’s how similar it’d be from the original novel. The same would have to happen with Sophia (who has probably lived in fear and isolation without a real friend FOR YEARS), Nicol (who is intertwined with his sister), and Alan (depending on how far Maria is into the plot). From what i’ve seen from the spinoff so far, Katarina can still realistic gain the character’s of Fortune Lover as her allies, but they won’t be (or atleast might not be) as attached to her as they do in the original novel (like Mary and Sophia maybe)

My only biased exception to this is her and her maid Anne, because it’s pretty endearing to know that even the spoiled version of Katarina is still attached to Anne, so as long as they are together, she doesn’t really mind the difference.

I would really love it if Katarina could gain allies outside of the established cast, to emphasize how different her situation is now that her circumstances are different due to the time of when her memories return. I just don’t want the spinoff to suddenly make the characters interested in Katarina, even though she’s lived her life until now as a spoiled and selfish noble.

This brings me to another concern of mine: Maria, the protagonist of Fortune Lover. So far, Katarina has already won over her friendship and has forgiven her and Sienna for their actions against her after seeing their efforts to fend off other harassers. My problem isn’t really how quickly she got won over or anything (despite this already solving her problem of being accused of orchestrating her bullying that could cause her end just before the final graduation event of the game), it’s more of what she represents.

You see, what made all the characters of Fortune Lover so attached to Katarina is that she lacks the outlook of a noble, being someone who lived as a normal school girl before being reincarnated. She is a very empathetic person who is able to sooth the worries of the characters but literally not seeing it at all (examples being Alan with his rivalry with his twin, and Mary & Sophia with their appearance). She alleviates the pain and worries of others by being what they need. In the original novel of My Next Life as a Villainess!, the readers/viewers already know that her villainess fate is already thwarted because she had already accomplished what Maria was supposed to do during the events of Fortune Lover (befriend Sophia = gain Nicol’s affections / interest Geordo = gain his affection / differentiate Alan & Geordo = gain Alan’s affections / be a first real source of comfort and company = gain Keith’s affections etc.)

I can’t really speculate on much of the plot of the game, but luckily the anime dvd box comes with the actual Fortune Lover game routes of the 4 boys so I might be able to comment on this better in the future.

Maria is basically the same as Katarina (or Bakarina, if its less confusing); both characters are outsiders to the world of nobles and royalty, and it’s through their own personal outlook that they help and befriend the characters of the game. The spinoff would probably stick the two by the hip now that they’re friends in order to solve this problem, but it’s basically a race between the two of which of them can apply their personal quirks in getting the characters to ally with them. Again I can’t really speculate bc I don’t know the actual routes of the boys, but yeah.

For example, Geordo has met the heroine while she was trying to climb a tree with a skirt, which he has never seen before, while her also being the pretty light-magic user commoner, and this definitely made her interesting to him (Note: this is an event that occurs canonically within the events of the game, Fortune Lover, but is not presented as something that had occurred in the manga).

Now we have Katarina acting out of character and eating tons of sweets, while trying to salvage the dress of her peer after she spilled a drink on it, and this character change made her interesting to him as well. Katarina, considering her actual personality as time progresses in the story, is definitely much more interesting than Maria’s (I say that with biases of course) so Geordo would most likely find her to be the more unpredictable and interesting out of the two, but it looks like the only way (or what seems to already be the chosen way??) of writing the spinoff out of this mess is to make it appear like the Maria event didn’t or hasn’t happened yet, because while the original novel does state that Geordo would have fallen for Maria if he wasn’t already inlove with Katarina before they entered the Magic School, Geordo has yet to address his relationship with Maria. (yeah I get it there’s only 6 chapters yet jhgsdgfjsdg BUT STILL IT’S A LOT TO THINK ABOUT)

I don’t know what kind of dynamic Maria and Katarina would have in the spinoff, especially since you need to factor in Sienna, but in the original novel, Maria was pretty submissive to Katarina and would mostly just follow her lead. Maybe with this new friendship, Maria might not actively approach the main love interests (unless it’s by accident, since they don’t have to always save her from bullying Katarina and Sienna already try to solve that themselves) which gives time for Katarina to win them over with the quirky personality. At least, this is what I hope the spinoff goes for lol. (side note, it’s actually interesting to see what it’s like when Geordo literally only uses Katarina as a shield from other women, so when the shift from tool to romance occurs, i think it’ll be pretty nice to see)

To be honest I don’t even know what I’m rambling about, I’m sure I’ll love the spinoff regardless of what direction it takes lol. I’m just nervous because I really really love this concept an I want it to be different from the source material because it literally has the potential to be its own story (idk if this spinoff is even official at all, like I think it has the permission of Yamaguchi Satoru, but idk if its licensed)

Before I end this long ramble, I just want to note that i actual like the art style of the spinoff (illustrated by nishi) more than the original artist nami. I feel like this more simple artstyle captures the shift between Villainess Katarina and Bakarina more smoothly, while the original illustrations kinda makes it looked forced (mostly the manga tbh, the novel covers and art is fine). With nishi’s art, you can easily grasp that these two personalities are both Katarina.

Anyways that’s it, my hands hurt lol. Might edit this in the future.

#hamefura #hamehura #My Next Life as a Villainess #destruction flag otome #Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika Nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shiteshimatta #Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shite shimatta... Zettai Zetsumei!#I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess With Only Destruction Flags... In a Dire Situation!? Verge of Destruction Arc #My Next Life as a Villainess! All Routes Lead to Doom!#Bakarina #Bakarina Alter #sorry if this is random and dumb #i wanted to vent lol #mh talks #Maria Campbell #Katarina Claes

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rosaetae · 4 years

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the chrysanthemum effect | 10

[this chapter is apart of the chrysanthemum effect]

☇ “Keeping your flowers, keeping your pain— it’s already everything you need to move on. How do you move on from things if you’re not willing to accept them?“

➣ pairing: taehyung x reader

➣ genre: hanahaki!au, model!taehyung, weddingplanner(ish)!au

➣ word count: 3.2k

➣ a/n: hiya! this is the last chapter of the chrysanthemum effect series! i literally am sooooo grateful for all of the reviews that i’ve been given for this series, it makes me so glad that all of u love it :) also i will be uploading an epilogue so stay tuned for that bc the epilogue is rlly important!

➣ summary: the hanahaki disease has become a stigma in this world where if you had it, you are looked down upon. her flowers were white chrysanthemums and they have been for the past two years. she was in love with someone who obviously didn’t feel the same way, and this was her way of moving on— along with the people in her life who had to conform around the hanahaki disease.

Taehyung thought that the only words he would say to you that night would be compliments and sweet nothings in regard to your stunning and breathtaking appearance, but now he's thinking up a billion things to say all at once— if he even gets the chance to say something to you, that is.

But seeing that that was physically impossible, he continuously blamed himself in that hospital waiting room.

As Somin laid her head on Hoseok's shoulder, puffy eyes closed as Hoseok urged her to get some rest, Taehyung sat impatiently and guiltily in that chair, his mind trying to grasp the situation at hand because it's not every day that the person and soul you realized you loved and will always love so much is going to forget every single remnant of you.

He glances over at the couple-not-so-couple. Hoseok's blazer over Somin who only had worn her black gown from the soiree and Hoseok's head leaning just slight over her head holding her hand in his lap.

Taehyung nearly scoffs.

He finds it oddly ironic and entertaining that there is a couple right in front of him, both who feel the same way about each other, but both who do not want to move over the fine line that is commitment issues and labelling. It was like the universe put them there to laugh at Taehyung and his position because how almost amusing it was that any one of them can tell the other how they feel, yet they won't, and here he is, wishing it was you sleeping on his shoulder, holding his hand, wishing that it was you wearing his blazer draped over your body, and wishing that he could've told you everything he wanted to tell you.

God, he must sound desperate— desperate and selfish. But he's got every reason to.

He'd tell you how he wanted to go back to you that day and how the day when he left everything was the day he wanted to turn back around and go back to you, but he couldn't, and he'd tell you how that him leaving abruptly was no excuse and that he was grateful to the stars that you let him in again, even when he knew it was not a territory he should cross, and he'd tell you how much that the past months of being with you at his side was unlike anything else and how it was like he almost never left— almost— and he'd tell you how terribly sorry he was even though it wouldn't have made a fucking difference, bu he'd say it until the very end of the line, because Taehyung could say a billion things to you to make the pain go away, but he knew his words would never be enough.

Because as he sits there, the universe laughing at his face as he realizes that you'll be gone from him, he cannot deny the one thing that brought him sitting there in the first place.

It was all his fault.

When you wake up and suddenly become aware that you're awake, it's confusing.

At first, the lights hurt your eyes, so blinking constantly was something you could tell you were doing. It felt similar as to just waking up from a long nap.

Once your eyes adjusted to the brightness of the light, you turn over your head over to the side, realizing that a form was curled up in one of the chairs, sleeping soundly. Telling from her pajamas and dark hair, you knew it was Somin and as if on cue, she immediately woke up, her body snapping up as you waited until she noticed your awoken stance.

As she sat on the chair, she peers over at you, her tired eyes immediately growing alerted before she's rushing over to your side.

"You're awake," she observes as you nod, a weak smile on your face.

"Barely," you laugh, before you realize that tears are brimming her eyes. "How long was I gone for?"

Before Somin can answer, the door is opening. You both suddenly turn your attention to the door in which Doctor Wren walks in, but stops when he sees that your eyes are open and you're meekly waving at him. Your mind was a bit hazy, but you can make out the circular glasses

"Hi," you awkwardly say and he lets out a grateful sigh.

"You're awake," he says, almost relieved, making his way over to the side with the heart monitor replaying your constant heart beat faintly. "How do you feel?"

"Fine," you answer. "How long was I asleep?"

"Not long after the surgery took place," he says writing something down on his clipboard. You furrow your eyebrows, your mind is slow but you do recall getting surgery. "Three days."

"Three days?" You gape as he nods.

"It's normal," he says. "You were responsive, just not entirely awake. At least your words are coherent now."

You slowly nod, looking over at Somin who squeezes your hand. And soon enough, the door opens again, and it was unusual because everything was moving at unsteady rates. When the door is opening, it was like in slow motion, and you had to blink several times to make sense of your surroundings.

And that is, until your eyes focus on someone who is just as relieved as Somin and Doctor Wren was to see that you're awake. He walks over to Somin, laying his hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, sugartits," Hoseok says quietly. "Look who finally woke up."

"Shut up, Hoseok," you state, a laugh coming out of your mouth.

You don't realize your own laughter is dying down until it comes to a full on stop when you realize that when the door opened, not just Hoseok came into the room.

And just then, you felt tears prick your eyes.

Maybe you were staring at the person too long or maybe it was the way you froze up or maybe it was the tears that burned down your cheeks because Somin's constant voice of 'what's wrong' is echoing in your ear and the sound of your heart monitor was fastening. You don't particularly know why, but looking at him— it was like an inherent reaction.

"___," Doctor Wren says your name sharply, pulling you out of the trance you were in, placing a hand on your arm. "What's wrong?"

"Taehyung," you choke out. The name you were supposed to forget rolling out of your tongue scares you just as much as it scares the people around you. "I remember him."

"Taehyung," Doctor Wren approaches Taehyung, calmly.

Taehyung felt his whole world stop when his name flew out of your mouth. He didn't even realize that he was pulled out by some of the nurses, but he was aware that his mind was in a frivolous frenzy that he. had to sit on one of the waiting chairs outside your room.

Running his hands down his face, Taehyung looks up at the doctor, trying to conjure up words as a reponse as to what just happened.

"Why did you come back?"

Taehyung looks at him, confused for a moment, only to recall that Doctor Wren has been your doctor ever since you were diagnosed with the disease. He probably knew you from a different perspective.

"Work."

"Okay, let me rephrase this," he says. "Why did you come back into ___'s life?"

Why did Taehyung come back into your life? It was a question he never properly pondered on, thinking that it didn't matter because you talked to him as if it didn't. He had no intentions of hurting you all over again, nor did he think he'd fall back in love with you, but simply because he cares— he truly cares about you.

"I... I don't know," Taehyung replies.

Doctor Wren nods slowly, sitting next to him on the chair, Taehyung letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I didn't know she had Hanahaki, Doctor Wren. I didn't know that me leaving would give her flowers."

"Here's a better question for you, then. Why did you leave her?"

Taehyung raises his eyes to meet his, realizing that it was a genuine question that you never touched upon— but he couldn't blame you. He left sporadically without so much of a reason.

"I wasn't okay," Taehyung said, honestly and truly. "I was never okay, really. And when I met ___, she made things feel okay. But it's true when they say that love doesn't fix all things, because I realized that even when I'm with her, I wasn't okay. Then I found myself running away again, but I didn't think she would still be in love with me. I thought she would have forgotten about me, moved onto someone who wasn't going to leave her all of a sudden."

"Why'd you stop loving her?"

Taehyung shrugs. "It wasn't that I stopped loving her, it was that I had to tell myself that she's no longer mine. The minute I thought about her, I made myself think about her with someone else. You know, someone deserving. And I guess I stopped thinking about her all together eventually."

"Did she come to mind when you moved back?"

Taehyung pauses. "Yes. When I found out that I'd be moving back to this city, she immediately popped up in my head."

"Taehyung," Doctor Wren begins, a knowing look on his face.

"Did you ever think that you had lingering feelings for ___?"

Scrunching his eyebrows, Taehyung opens his mouth, but Doctor Wren cuts him off.

"And that's why you came back into her life when you moved back? And maybe along the way you realized that maybe you've fallen in love with her again?"

Taehyung, mouth open, closes it, unsure what to say back. However, Doctor Wren with a smug look on his face took his silent answer to his own, before standing up from the chair next to him.

"Stay here."

There's a fine line between the one you love and the one who loves you.

The one you love, is the one person you want eternal happiness for— not with— but for. It's almost upsetting because ideally you would want an eternal happiness with them— to live a lifetime of love and happiness with them, but when you love someone that much, you don't wish something under the circumstance that it's with you, but regardless. Arguably, the upsetting part is that when you wish happiness for them, you don't realize how much you love them until they're happy without you.

The one who loves you can show their love a little differently. Be it that they seem to love you more, or they seem to love you less. And for some reason, they will never seem to love you the same. Let it be them to be the reason for your own destruction.

Similarly, one can leave you to your own spill of flowers, the other will leave to spill their flowers for you.

Somin is squeezing your hand as you're sitting up on the hospital bed.

Doctor Wren left the room to reread your scans as your heart has come down to a slow while your mind doing the complete opposite. And in the midst of it, you would see on the other side of the door window that Doctor Wren was talking to Taehyung.

You, on the other hand, retrace every single memory you had with Taehyung, and they were just as vivid as if it were yesterday you experienced all of them at once. You think of all the possible ways that this could have happened.

Did Doctor Wren forget a petal? Did the surgery just not work for you because you kept it in for so long? Is it because it reached your lungs, Hanahaki is irreversible?

Mind in a frenzy, you don't notice when Doctor Wren walks in, until he's standing at the foot of your bed, tapping the clipboard with his pen.

"I don't want to say it's a miracle," Doctor Wren says aloud, looking up to see Somin's eyes. "But I will say this is a special case."

Somin raises an eyebrow as your breath is held. "What do you mean?"

"___ has been suppressing her flowers for over two years now. Medications and her suppressing tactics led to an influx of flowers in her system that eventually grew into her lungs. But after talking to Taehyung, I think, in the middle of suppression, he must have reciprocated those feelings for her."

Your neck nearly snaps when you look at him so fast. Reciprocation? In what circumstance?

Hoseok speaks up from his chair. "So what exactly are you saying, Doc?"

"We successfully removed all her flowers from her stomach and lungs, but because Taehyung reciprocated feelings for her, her memories of Taehyung stayed."

The reaction in the room was mutual, it seems, because Somin is silent, Doctor Wren is silent, Hoseok is silent, and you're silent.

You shake your head, blinking up at him. "Reciprocation?" You nearly laugh. "How can you be sure?"

Doctor Wren, you notice, looks over at Somin and Hoseok before looking over back at you. "That's something you should talk to him about."

Your eyes avert to the door before realizing that you can't really shy away from this situation— especially since he heard you say his name clearly and recognizably.

In that instant, you nod understandingly as Doctor Wren motions the two to walk out of your room, quickly emptying the room to trade them with the person you didn't know whether to be happy or sad seeing.

So when the room is empty, and it's just you sitting up on the bed, you stare at him with a bittersweet smile. It was bitter because you realize that he knows you had been in love with him even when he lost all feelings and sweet because you realize that he knows that your memories of him didn't go away because regained those feelings.

"I said to save me a dance," he begins with a nervous chuckle followed. "Not a spot next to your hospital bed."

Admittedly, his light-hearted joke makes you laugh, shaking your head at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, I think this is an upgrade from a dance."

Taehyung, trying to compose himself, lets out a laugh before he's sitting down next to you while you lay on the bed.

"So," he starts, letting himself linger, really unsure how to begin anything in regard to this whole regard, and you don't blame him.

Noticing this, you let out a light sigh, looking down at your thumbs fiddling with each other. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"What wasn't?"

You laugh slightly, before shrugging. "Everything, really. Surely you know I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you and I wasn't supposed to be heartbroken. Wasn't supposed to throw up chrysanthemums, wasn't supposed to get the surgery, and I wasn't supposed to remember you, either, but I guess... here we are."

"Here we are," he repeats, nodding.

"But I guess it's alright. After all, I—"

"I wanted to go back to you that day," Taehyung blurts out, cutting you off abruptly. "When I left that day, I wanted to go back to you."

You stayed silent.

"I don't know why I didn't, and I guess it's no excuse. But, when I came back, I didn't think you would be here. Sincerely, I didn't. But I saw you outside that charity event, and I thought that maybe that this was my second chance. And then I found out about your flowers and that you kept inside for as long as I was gone and then you decided to take the surgery and I was so scared of losing you—"

"Hey," you bring your hand to his face to calm him down. "Taehyung, you didn't lose me."

"I lost you once," his voice cracks. "I didn't want to lose you again."

"And you won't," you tell him, eyes searching for his. "You said you wanted to come back to me. And you eventually did."

As you tell him this, you hear him elicit a half-hearted scoff.

"It's alright. I remember you."

He looks at you for a mere second, letting out another scoff. "You sound disappointed."

"Can't say it's exactly been a pleasing ride," you sarcastically state.

"How about the fact that you remember me," he says, a tone of hopefulness evident in his voice. "Are you— I don't know— disappointed... even just a bit?"

You stare at him, taking in his expressions and his stance before you let out another soft sigh, a smile on your face that still leaves him on edge.

"The whole reason why I had my flowers for two years is because I didn't want to forget you, Taehyung. Having my flowers removed, but not forgetting you? How could I be disappointed?"

"Are you sure?"

"For someone who didn't want to be forgotten, you're really pushing it."

"Could you blame me? You started crying when you saw me."

You let out a laugh. "It's because I missed you, I reacted like that. I wasn't supposed to even remember you, let alone have my heart beat out of control when seeing you, but it did. So to even remember you, Taehyung? Could you blame me?"

"You missed me, huh?"

"It's all I do," you say casually, not missing the way a ghost of a smile paints his lips.

"So," he says as you couldn't mentally decipher what was going on in your head at that moment. Should you feel joy, you weren't sure. "What do you want to do?"

Looking at him adoringly without any shame or hindrance, you shrug. "I don't know."

Taehyung lets out a warm chuckle as you made an unsure face, staring at him and realizing that you didn't have to forget him, not anymore.

"I think I want time for myself," you tell him honestly and truly after letting out a sigh, eyes averting to the door, watching Somin speak to Doctor Wren behind it, a look of concern and almost relief on her face. "I don't know, I've spent almost three years being in love with you and two of which I spent suppressing these flowers," you say with a cryptic laugh. "I don't regret any of it, but you know... it'd be nice to finally breathe. Just for a little while."

The feeling in your heart wasn't pain anymore.

The sole thought of you having to deal with the disease was no longer deemed as something pitiful in the back of your head any longer. And when you look at Taehyung— chestnut haired, starry-eyed, dream-like Taehyung, that expectant feeling in your stomach that always brought upsetting notions no longer being evident or present, you could finally breathe.

"Okay."

A smile forms on your lips out of subtle surprise. "Okay?"

"Okay," he repeats firmly. "It's about what you want, not what anyone else wants. I didn't even know after all these years you were still in love with me— which is flattering—"

You nudge him, eliciting a soft chuckle from his mouth. "Don't push it, Tae."

Tae. You haven't called him that in years.

"Whatever you do," he begins, grabbing your hand in his, clasping it with the other. "I respect it."

And in such a heart-wrenching way, he moves both of your hands to his lips, bringing so much life into your body more than you've ever known.

"It's my turn to wait for you."

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hes-writer · 4 years

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I'm the anon who wrote about the reality-AU ask.

And I have a different view from what you wrote, because for me there where 2 major things:

1. Reader wasn't a strong woman

2. Harry was definitely an arrogant, selfish prick to reader.

I will start with 1.

So, what moral and values? I honestly don't understand that part because for me moral and values mean one thing and I don't see they fitting the situation.

Regardless, MC wasn't a strong woman for several reasons.

She allowed her pain get in the way of her child's life several times, she literally got with the first guy that showed her love when she wasn't ready nor emotionally stable, if we take in mind that she met him at halfway through her pregnancy and in 2 years ish she was already living with him and allowing her child to call him "dad". So she clinged to Connor as a substitute and staple to the family she had planned having with Harry, just like Harry clinged to Camille's offer as a way to have what he dreamed having with Y/N. None of them put their child's best interest first, otherwise she would have found a way to deal with her pain while allowing him to be part of Halo's life and he would have found a way to accept that he would never have what he wanted bc of his mistakes in the past.

And the clearest sign of that is her conversation with Harry in the last chapter. She did love Connor, but he was only there because Harry blocked her. If he hadn't, he'd have seen the text and be involved in his kids life. So, I know you said something about being emotionally available as a parent and that's my argument for that. Harry wasn't emotionally a dad bc that chance was taken from him out of spitefulness and he still tried to be there, he made a mistake but he never gave up. He was robbed of it countless times bc MC was never healed properly to let go of her personal feelings and focus on Halo, bc I can guarantee you that if given the chance, Halo would forget it and choose to have a relationship with Harry.

Which brings me to my previous point... He wasn't Halos dad, MC made him her dad because she didn't want to deal with Harry when she knew that he had a right to at least be informed about the baby, regardless of her relationship with him. In the story you make it known that he blocked her and that's how she couldn't tell him, but she kept in touch with his family + he contacted her at some point. So, she uses her own actions against him and he let's her out of guilty, showing a bit of manipulation from her side. Both of them were toxic and manipulative. Just bc you were hurt, doesn't give you a right to act as you please, speacially when a child is involved. That shouldn't even be put to argument and I'd have agreed with you more if you hadn't tried to classify MC as a victim at all costs, even when she was the wrong one.

If this was real life, a girl behaving like her would be concerning, so why in a fanfic she's considered strong? Because she standed up for herself and for her daughter? I mean, did she truly stand up for her child? Can we truly say that? Or did she allow her own barriers and insecurities surround them and keep Harry distant? Wouldn't a healed and strong woman be capable of dealing with her ex for their's daughter sake, speacially when she's in a happy and healthy relationship?

Parents are allowed mistakes. None of them know what they're doing and the greatest majority of the world is filled with people who weren't mature enough to be parents, yet somehow were allowed to.

She was unfair and subconsciously used her child to get back at Harry for all the pain he caused her.

He left her, so she didn't tell him about their baby, then when he found out she monopolised his entire relationship with his daughter and did some pretty illegal stuff, and when he committed his first mistake with the child she cut him off completely without taking in account what her daughter wanted.

Have you watched the show The Duchess on Netflix? I think its a great example of my point here, in case you don't understand it.

Also, forgot to say that she was toxic again when she kept threatening him over wanting to be with his kid. Like, we spend tons of times telling people to be responsible with their art, as it can be a door into introducing kids to things. We also spend a ton of time telling boys that they should care about their babies and be there for them. Then you come and write a fic where the guy gets threatened and manipulated when trying to be with his 🤷🏻‍♀️

MC definitely had her right to commit her own mistakes, as I said, parents will do it countless times. But I think that's a bit unfair that she gets as many as she wants bc she got hurt previous to baby being born, yet Harry barely gets one when trying to figure himself out after finding out about his kid. You mentioned that a judge would never give Harry any custody bc of what he did and that was a bit dumb, sorry. Law is based on justice, balance and protecting the victim with fairness and justice, therefore Harry would have been granted at least the benefit of the doubt as his mistakes were minor and the victim in this story is Halo, not MC✌🏽

This is a long one.

Morals and values are not fitting in the situation.

Morals are personal beliefs that a person upholds and values are something that are regarded as important. I think that everybody uses them in most of the things they do so they definitely fit the situation.

She literally got with the first guy that showed her love...

I wouldn’t say that MC clung unto Connor and got into a relationship with him right away. The first couple of instances—they were just friends and weren’t officially together until Reign.

None of them put their child’s best interest first // Reader wasn’t a strong woman

I agree that both parties didn’t act on the best interest of their child but that doesn’t necessarily mean that MC wasn’t a strong woman. Sure, she wasn’t ideal in the context of being a mother—but she mended herself enough to give Harry a chance when he found out, even setting up limits while she was at it.

Wouldn’t you think that that takes courage? Besides the preceding fact that it is courteous to tell someone that you’re having their baby (no argument there), especially to someone who has cheated and betrayed your trust, you are sweeping the pain away. MC was letting Harry back in even if she personally didn’t want to. Harry was a huge part of her life so I think reminiscing on their relationship would never cease; they have a kid together. All the good and bad of their time together will always be present in her mind.

Harry was robbed [of being a dad]

You think that Harry was robbed of being a Dad, I can’t convince you otherwise. You said it yourself though, ‘if Harry hadn’t blocked MC, he would’ve seen the text and he would’ve been a dad to Halo’.

But he did—and the following points of your argument are, in a sense, irrelevant because what you’re pointing out is what could’ve happened if Harry didn’t do what he did. These are the consequences of his actions. “He blearily remembered bitterly blocking her number just as she texted “I need to tell you something,” <- That scene was the turning point of MC’s decision and frankly, a showcase of Harry’s immaturity. MC said she had something to tell him and he retaliated by blocking her.

As well, you mention, ‘if given the chance, Halo would forget about it’—there’s a lot of assumptions in your argument because these aren’t part of the original story. These are what you think should’ve happened.

He blocked her [...] but she kept in touch with his family

MC kept in touch with his family on the pretext that they wouldn't inform harry that the baby was his. This was because of a misunderstanding due to a post on Camille's IG page. H seemed happy with his new relationship. MC didn't NOT tell him out of SPITE—it was because she didn't want to ruin his relationship with Camille.

Harry contacted her at some point // Just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the right to act as you please

Yes, Harry did contact her—to call her a ‘whore’ and stated that she ‘probably slept around’ during their relationship. [ie. Harry: Why not? Scared that y’gonna have to admit that everything you put on was an act? How can y’move on so fast and give me shit about it?”] I’m guessing that’s probably not the best way for H to ask about MC’s pregnancy and I can imagine that the sheer rudeness and projection will deter most people.

His dialogues were an attack on her personality (that she was a liar and disloyal), on the validity of her emotions (that she was faking them), and on her identity as woman solely because he was crumbling under the truth that he was the one who messed up. I mentioned before that Harry’s insults were a projection as a result of his defence mechanism. Meaning that he was—to some extent—aware that MC hadn’t cheated but convinced himself otherwise to feel less guilty. Therefore, at the end of Halo, he judged the credibility of their child.

If this was real life...

And this is a fanfiction.

Once again, MC might not have been the ideal representation of a strong woman, but she stepped up when Halo was introduced.

Imagine going through a break-up with your SO of two years while you’re pregnant because he went behind your back FOR A YEAR, amidst hormonal changes, still going to work, and trying to find yourself when someone has taken so much of you—that’s traumatizing. Healing isn’t linear. Just because you’re wounded doesn’t mean that you’re not strong.

She was unfair and subconsciously used her child to get back at Harry

MC was honest but she wasn’t truthful. Her intentions were human nature yet keeping Halo away from Harry wasn’t very truthful of her—in legalities and such.

I don’t think MC monopolized H/H’s relationship. She gave Harry a chance to bond with Halo, and they did. As mentioned, MC had set limits and boundaries when discussing Harry’s presence in their daughters’ life. It was a legally binding, word-of-mouth, agreement that Harry assented to.

[he was] threatened and manipulated

In that sense, Harry’s hostility towards MC in Reign was threatening her decision to have him around [ie. You’re not something I would take the time to handle,” // You’re a goddamn mistake is what you are,’]

I understand your concern and I apologize for that. I’m not explicitly saying that this one piece of fiction is satirical in the sense that it’s the opposite of what society chants because that would be vile of me to do. Every circumstance is different though—it really is a choice of preference, validation and weighing out the subject matter.

You mentioned that a ‘judge would never give Harry custody’ and that was a bit dumb...

That line was never part of the story.

"Take it up legally if you'd like. Want to have a custody battle? Bring it on. Let's see whose side the judge is on after they find out that you cheated on me while I was pregnant with Halo."

Suggesting that the conclusion can be one of shared-custody wherein MC has more time with Halo (80/20 visitation schedule).

#the tarnish series #feedback!!#blog post #writing #fanfiction

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spaceshipkat · 5 years

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Found a stan's post about what Sjm said at her Houston stop regarding ToG and Acotar characters meeting.Just so much bullshit: "Rhys would win in a fight against Maeve because Maeve is a “piece of crap” who only fights for her own selfish wants and Rhys would fight for something he loves and therefore have a better reason to fight", "Aelin would spend the entire time staring at Rhys because even though she has Rowan who is also beautiful, Rhys is just that beautiful", "everyone would love Rowan"

Houston anon, if you wanna watch the whole thing, TheTruthAboutBooks made a vlog on yt

uhhh did they say they’d have booths for fanart?

i freely admit i’ve eaten a lot of airheads today, but…i’m nauseous.

what the diddly dong heck is this. according to the vid, you can take a pic with them, but no idea if you can keep them.

why are they screaming

as someone from AZ, why is all she remembers of it cowboy boots?

and imma paraphrase the questions she’s asked, so. question #1:

McGee: you’ve been writing t0g since you were 16, how do you feel, what’s going through your head?

sj/m: writing k0a was bittersweet and fun. when i was 16, all of this was a crazy dream (she has been saying this literally everywhere. i mean she even made it a hashtag on insta today). “when i went to college i was a creative writing major” uhhh where???

interlude for a brief thanks that does sound sincere, at least.

and now she’s saying that on Tuesday she asked if anyone had read the book, a teenager said yes, and sj/m proceeds to, uh, very snarkily reenact it with a raised index finger (terrible quality, i’m sorry; it’s at 11:55 in the vid)

christ you guys she’s been answering this question for eons i want it to stop, especially bc right now she’s talking about getting to write the final scenes of a book she’s been working on since she was a teenager. we know the drill.

okay wait now she’s saying when t0g was bought fantasy (yes, fantasy, not ya fantasy) hadn’t taken off and had just one publisher say yes to t0g. everyone else rejected it and i have a feeling they don’t regret that in the slightest.

oh my god she’s still talking. the author moderating the event (Katharine McGee) hasn’t said one word since that first question.

she just asked if there are any other aspiring writers in the ground, and then said that “if i can do it, you can do it” and i’m cackling. and getting published is “a long road” and that wasn’t a tornado, it was just me sighing. (today was a shitty day in terms of publishing where i’m concerned, so yeah)

and now she’s talking about how the book was going to be longer than 992 pages, originally 1008 pages. she gets a call from her editor, who says “the book is too long” and sj/m replies “you can’t do this to me EVERY WORD AND EVERY COMMA IS EXACTLY WHERE IT NEEDS TO BE” (emphasis my own) OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD @longsightmyth

and apparently her editor said “we have to find a way to make the book shorter without cutting anything from it” and sure, janet. and christ on a bike the entire team at blooms worked around the clock to get the book to the printers in two days, or it wouldn’t have been printed in time for release. they bumped up the text a little on the chapter header, condensed chapters through the formatting so hanging paragraphs between chapters would fit on the previous page.so cutting out one whole page, basically.

sj/m: so they managed to cut it down to nine hundred and ninety–”

audience: “980″

sj/m: nine hundred and ninety–”

audience: “980″

sj/m: “whatever it is!” *waves hand*

i’m now at 16:53 and McGee has finally spoken since sitting down.

McGee: “who knew eight pages could be so important”

sj/m: “i have no idea” (i’m typing this on my laptop but i’d have the upside down smiley here on my phone bc the tone here is that)

WE’VE MADE IT TO QUESTION #2 (and i’m paraphrasing again)

question #2:

McGee: i want to go back to what you were saying about writing scenes that you thought of as a teenager and reaching the end of the series is so emotional. did anything change, take any unexpected turns, or is this truly the ending that you foresaw at age 16?

guys i’m sorry i can’t sit through her answer bc if is basically a reworked version of everything i wrote above and everything she has said umpteen times (all about fictionpress, to get this book published she had to rewrite new things, treat the first version as a completely separate book, start over with a blank page, blah blah blah i really don’t give a fuck, janet moving on)

i’m not sure if she mentioned this in the other events, but she’s explaining how she wrote ratalien fanfic.

question #3:

McGee: was it hard for you when the first two books came out and the readers were all excited trying to ship–

and yes, sj/m did cut her off. McGee jumped in to ask question #3 and here’s sj/m while McGee is asking the question

and now she’s talking about tambourine and riceman. so.

she’s talking about some animal that went extinct from Costa Rica? “go vote and save the environment” and now she’s explaining where she got the ending for k0a from (the mountains and the sun and she started crying) worth noting she said she went to Costa Rica in 2013, thereby getting the ending of k0a in 2013.

guys i want to donate my ears to science as well as my eyeballs:

sj/m: alien never did what i wanted her to do except doing rowboat, if you know what i mean (emphasis not my own)

i just laughed out loud at sj/m: “please let alien get me to this ending that i want, if she survives.” one of the biggest surprises was getting alien to the ending that she wanted.

question #4:

McGee: i love what you said about aelin, i feel like she has literally grown up alongside you, or you’ve grown up alongside her, she’s such a fun character bc she’s vulnerable and strong and she’s not afraid to be both badass and very girly at the same time

(you guys know my thoughts about the ridiculousness of still complimenting alien for being badass and girly like the two are not mutually exclusive and no longer unique character traits can we stop now kthxbai)

McGee continued: how has she rubbed off on you, are there any traits of aelin that have become traits of sarah

she’s nodding along while McGee talks here:

sj/m: her love of reading, her love of binge-eating chocolate in bed, oh my god she’s now off on another tangent about getting started in publishing again and before she had meetings she’d tell herself “my name is sjm and i will not be afraid” omg so deep wow

so now we know why she made Lysandra a snow leopard (yes this is my assumption): she has a leopard ring and her leopard shirt bc you can never have too much leopard on leopard

so with alien and Lysandra and all the ladies in this series, they’re all strong in different ways, elide can’t gut you the way alien can, she has her own strength (intelligence and kindness), then Manon (her favorite) came into her life at a time she needed a character to identify with, Manon’s journey is one of her favorite things she’s ever written.

aaaaaaaand a side story wherein she explains how Manon appeared in her head and saw Manon in her first scene in h0f after music and i’m snoring (and then another piece of music where she saw a scene in k0a and began sobbing but she doesn’t say which scene)

and now she’s talking about how thick the books are. someone says all the books should be the same size on the shelf and sj/m says “look at Harry Potter! whose rule is that? it’s a dumb rule” (claims she said it “i understand but no”–emphasis not my own)

OH MY GOD SHE’S EXPLAINING HOW SHE’S NEVER CRIED MORE IN A SCENE IN K0A AND GUYS I AM SO BEYOND DONE SHE’S JUST REPEATING HERSELF IN NEW WAYS I WANT DEATH

McGee: i love how all your women are strong in different ways, even Kaltain, characters who start one way and then their story seems expected and it ends in such a different place

congrats, McGee, you just described writing a character arc (i apologize for the snark but ugh)

McGee continued: which brings me to the dedication of this book, do you want to talk about that at all, there might be zero people in the audience who’ve read k0a yet, what do you want to say to them before they start reading?

what would you call this expression? grimace? “hOw DaRe”?

and now she’s talking about the dedication, which we all know my thoughts on (i’ll spare you from another repeat bc i, unlike sj/m, try not to say the same things over and over again)

every time a book came out her parents would open the book and ask why it wasn’t dedicated to them and she wanted to wait to dedicate the last book to them, so. (she thought the dedication would be a spoiler but “ladies are gonna get shit done,” “take on the man,” wah wah) and she’s mentioned ac0tar again.

HOLY SHIT SHE JUST ASKED MCGEE WHO SHE DEDICATED HER BOOK TO I AM SHOOK. “aw that’s so sweet, i don’t have a sister so i can’t dedicate it like you can” (yes i’m paraphrasing again)

and she’s brought out Taran. he’s cute and all and oh my god “i can hear a baby crying and go ‘eh i don’t care he’s not my baby’ but then i hear my baby” and blah blah blah

we’ll end this with Taran bc he’s cute:

#ask #anonymous #anti sjm #anti koa #long post #save #i need to remember to use that tag more often

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tayegi · 7 years

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This second chapter made me feel so much of everything, and I admire the OC for being so mature and put her anger aside. I feel sort of ashamed that it's not something I'd do hehe(seems like I need to grow more) I've never felt this way before but somehow your amazing writing makes me feel everything the OC feels! So thank your very much for sparing time to write all of this amazing stuff, even tho you're really busy. Really, thank you. I love you. ♥

Anonymous said:New rules isn't even about the boys for me anymore it's about this lowkey toxic friendship even if they've been friends for years that's the problem. OC couldn't talk to Mijoo about how she really felt not saying she should've told Mijoo to stay away from Jimin but let her know that it really hurt her feelings and Mijoo clearly didn't have a problem putting a boy over friendship. Even if it started with something small like this it could be the downfall to their friendship.

Anonymous said:I just wouldn't be able to trust Mijoo and that kinda ruins the whole friendship right then and there. It's I would think if she was so quick to ruin something for me for her over a guy what else will she do to put herself before me. I know friendships are important most of the time and the reader and Jimin were never together but I just wouldn't be able to associate with her. This is only what the reader is finding out now what else could Mijoo be hiding and I know it might not be that deep pt1

mirajoey said:Fml. I just hate how sweet demure pretty girls who are actual snake. And people keep misunderstanding 'ice queen but true' type of girls. Why do women need to be attractive (pretty) but superficial af to please men? My ex-crush is in relationship with my bestfriend tho😂 she and my other girl keep mocking me for being the only single ass in the group. Idk if they are intentional or not. I'm about to say fuck off bitch whenever they do that. But i'm a softie for friends. So yeah, am i weak?

Anonymous said:i feel like all this hate towards mijoo and the desire to hurt her is exactly how the oc initially reacted, and everyone who had sent in asks about physically hurting her is an instantaneous reaction, but will not actually do so. its kind of like being so angry during an argument with someone that you say things you dont mean. don't take it at heart. im one of the anons who sent in something about hurting her, and i would not in any way physically harm a person. much less a best friend.

Anonymous said:NR 2, Great writing as always. But I wouldnt have been as forgiving, maybe after a day or 2 we could talk things through with her after that. I get why some friendships crumble because of that. Its not because of the guy but because of the betrayal. It would hurt so much more from a friend you trust and have been open with all this. It just means they didnt choose to trust you with the truth and she didnt even admit it after all this time.

Anonymous said:wow that Mijoo... I have two thoughts: 1. "I hate snakeu" and 2. Haven't she heard the phrase, fries before guys? btw I would cut all connections with a "friend" like that. But you are wonderful Lu and never fail to amaze us♡ Thank you for sharing such quality contents so often~ Have a nice day!

Anonymous said:oH MY GOD! New rules 2 had me screeching. Bruh you make me so sad but i love it. Im in emotional turmoil for OC. Im. I just dont know man. Her friends are such asses.

Anonymous said:Ahh new rules hit me so hard, i actually cried! I relate so much to the oc and my own best friend of over 10 years pulled that shit on me and I was so, so hurt that I didn't even cared about the guy anymore but her betrayal really hit me....ahhh anyway that's such a emotional ride!!!! I love your writing 💕

Anonymous said:new rules makes me really sad of how friendships are always regarded as smth less than relationships. and the worst part is people around me would literally question me abt why im so against relationships when im not? i just feel like relationships and friendships are different but equally important.. it's so upsetting to know that friends that you treasure dont treasure you in the same way just because u r not their partner.

Anonymous said:Forgive me if I'm reading way too much into this, but I think the reason Mijo's betrayal brought so many strong emotions in a lot of readers is because most women "dread" something like that happening.. No one wants the "girls hate other girls/pick guys over friendships" stereotype to be true because it IS an awful stereotype, so when it happens (cause some people are awful and some of those people are girls) it's really heartbreaking.. 1/?

Anonymous said:the act alone is terrible but add to it that this proved the stereotype for some people and it can really sting!!I think that's the reason why "Mean Girls" is so popular! It satirizes that feeling and makes it funny/tolerable! The OC is acting in a mature way but given that she's a feminist it can also be that she doesn't want to prove that stereotype and wants to act above it! 2/?

Anonymous said:It's very understandable BUT no one would expect boys/men to be friends after something like that because it WAS hurtful and selfish and awful and Mijoo shouldn't get a pass just because she's a girl and OC wants to prove a point! Remove jimin from the equation and add a job promotion with Mijoo being sneaky and getting it instead of OC for reasons SHE instigated and it should be clear why OC needs to be angry! 3/4

Anonymous said:They should at least argue about it with a line in the sand drawn if it happens again! *not saying you should do that of course, the story is a stroy and should have this kind of layers/complex feelings, I'm talking in a real life scenario I guess* sorry to dump all this on you but it brought so many feelings and I had to write them down!! What do you think? A stretch? 4/4

Anonymous said:There would have been at minimum a month of radio silence from me if I were OC and one of my girl friends pulled a stunt like M.

Anonymous said:To be honest, I feel like maybe how the MC handled Mijoo maybe wasn't the mature thing to do? I guess in the past I always felt like being mature was keeping friends no matter what they pulled, but lately I feel like cutting off toxic friends actually is sometimes the best way to handle things? Like not causing a scene, or anything. It's just that I've come to value trust and respect in my relationships, and after part two I feel like I personally cannot trust or respect her. Just some thoughts!

Anonymous said:how is the OC so patient and... nice ?!!1!1!1 if i were her i’d be a salty ass bitch at mijoo like heck you just stole my crush away from me just because YOU like him. kdndksjsoana i feel aNgEr

Anonymous said:i hope karma fucks mijoo in the ass. i hate everything and i hope jungkook gets his ass whooped too so he can actually act like a human being for once. thanks for writing new rules

Anonymous said:As much as the OC is remarkable for her self sacrifice I feel Jimin had the right to know what happened and Mijoo really needs to know that what she did was not okay. Sure OC didn’t do the wrong thing by throwing a tantrum and ruining Mijoo’s life but I just felt like honest communication is necessary. This brings me to the point that I like how you write realistic stories because in life decisions aren’t so black and white.

Anonymous said:Yes I totally get you Lu. And in all honesty, I wouldn't have forgiven her. I wouldn't have caused that much or big of a scene, but I would have definitely ended my 'friendship' right then and there. It irritated me though that OC even went up to her and touched her asdsfhk. I would have went to sleep. I once had a friend who did the same shit twice. She dated the boys I liked, knowing about my feelings for each of them and then acted innocent. It felt like reading about me. - Reasoning Anon

Anonymous said:And the worst part is that I felt exactly the same way OC did. I just can't be mean to people. No matter how much I despise them. No matter how much they hurt or angered me. Because then I feel so evil, so I let it happen. Then I leash out on other people who never did (Jungkook). I just let them hurt me. And then I feel guilty about having mean thoughts about them. And when OC thought and felt like the asshole, the monster ... man. I already hate this story, go away 😩 - Reasoning Anon

Anonymous said:the oc in new rules is like waaay too kind to her "best friend", why would a "best friend" sabotage a girl's chance to get with a guy who genuinely likes her i still don't understand. it doesn't matter if the "best friend" likes the guy, i am betting the oc is some martyr to be that sacrificial. i would drop my "best friend" if she tried that on me

Anonymous said:LIVID. I'm so angry that Mijoo never gave OC Jimin's confession note, then had the nerve to involve OC as she was stressing over him. I'm frustrated that OC puts Mijoo on a pedestal just bc she's pretty, & seems to see Mijoo as more deserving of happiness than herself. Mijoo is a snake & deserves to be exposed bc she did both Jimin and OC dirty by not giving her his note. She deprived them both of what they wanted, & any relationship she now has w Jimin is tainted by what she did to him a yr ago

Anonymous said:I can only hope that Jimin wakes up and realizes what a snake Mijoo is. With a girl like her, I doubt their relationship can work out (or at least that's what I hope).

Anonymous said:mijoo gotta go

Anonymous said:I'm in love with new rules omg if I found out my best friend hid something like that from me I would be livid I don't know how she kept her cool. Can't wait for the next part! 💖💖💖

Anonymous said:Omg her friend is a snake and she's too forgiving 🤧😫😩 I just want to grab OC's shoulders and shake some sense into her, she's allowed to be angry at her friend, she's deserves to be happy too. I'm excited to see how the rest of this story is gonna develop, I really love all your writing. You have such a way with words that makes me feel like I watching a movie rather than just reading a story. 👌❤️👌

bangtanboys-hoe said:This may be the bitch in me talking but I would've made her feel like shit. I would move out, block her number, and tell Jimin everything. I would've made her life a living hell hole. But this is just a story and I'm too nice of a person to do that.

Anonymous said:okay first how's your day, how you're doing. And second MIJOO IS SUCH A BITCH NO FUCK FHAT. WHAT HAPPENED TO LOYALTY, OC GAVE UP HER LIVE AND MIJOO DECIDED TO TAKE IT DOE SELF. FUCK JIMIN (I love you jimin) BUT BOTH OF THEM FUCK UP THEIR FRIENDSHIP. I couldn't even enjoy the smut I'm so mad. Plus GOOD JOB ON THE NEW CHAPTER! It's really good! Hope you have a good day :)

Anonymous said:Fuck mijoo AHHSGAHHDH WHY WHY WHY

omg im very overwhelmed by the incredible response to ch 2 of new rules and i feel so bad but i srsly cant answer all of your messages. But the intense reactions this fic inspired is so shocking yet understandable. I just hope you all aren’t too upset and that you can have an open mind for the next chapter ^^

#new rules #jaaneman-s #lu answers

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