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#them just out here inventing love fr
pjackk · 6 months
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i’m sorry about all the shit i said and all the times i been mean to you and your inventions and shit i really think u have something special here fr and you could change the world. u need to stick w it not a lot of people have what u have bro
Do u mean it yes or no its ok if u say no im used to people fucking with me for no reason other then to be extreamly bad to me because i guesss they are all piece of love hippie types until sombody is a little less smarter then them then its open seaason for the pistols out cock the fcking shot gun and shoot the fuck out of me emotionaly becvause im just not very clever they just do it for no reaon at all
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higuchisora · 3 months
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The idea of characters from other stories winding up in SVSSS has been stuck in my head for a while but I'm not gonna write abt it lmao so here's what's been rattling around in the ole noggin:
Toph:
Toph would be a genuine menace
Specifically on poor Liu Qingge, who hasn't the slightest clue how he wound up with yet another student
Earthbending should not be possible here. Earthbending is NOT possible here.
Toph invents earthbending here.
In fact, she only gets stronger. Because the cultivation aspects of the world means she's got even more qi and knows more about how to use it beyond earthbending.
She can now use qi itself to "see" (sensing others' qi, using it to sense movement, etc.) Not just earthbending
Lqg wants nothing to do with any more disciples. Especially not ones as annoying as yang yixuan
He gets a gremlin even more annoying than yang yixuan
He lies awake at night, regretting saving her life that one time on a hunt and kickstarting her path of being a Problem
Specifically, he saves her life one night while she's out trying to remaster earthbending, inspiring her to become a cultivator
She runs away from her noble family and their arranged marriage and stifling life that they've planned out for her and heads straight to Cang Qiong's Bai Zhan peak the first chance she gets
Refuses to take no for an answer, thus growing to become lqg's #1 menace
He both blesses and curses the day she was born
Lqg would sooner die than admit she's basically his other baby sister/daughter figure
Will outright refuse to fly on her sword When asked how she'll get around, the earth goddamn MOVES UNDER HER FEET and she causes several earthquake/mole monster sightings with these shenanigans
Is banned from this move
Begins to tunnel underground instead
She could arguably fly on her sword just fine, sensing the qi around her to navigate and shit, but it's harder and definitely uncomfortable and brings back bad memories of that one time in the volcano with Aang and Sokka
Luo Binghe wants her dead
She probably never gets strong enough to 1v1 him and win but she's definitely strong enough to become a genuine challenge
Especially when she reinvents metalbending
Rides for her shizun ong
Would probably fight lbh for lqg's honor after the SQQ corpse situation (he did not ask her to do this)
Aang:
The angel of Qing Jing peak fr
Or that monastery but we don't hear enough about them tbh
Has legitimately no idea how he got here, maybe too scared to question it actually
Like, did he really fuck up and end up getting ripped out of the avatar cycle orrrr????
Decides some things are better left unknown
The only struggle he really has is not being bald anymore
Honestly???? Might still shave his head and just stick to a wig
Would inevitably get caught or ALMOST caught and eventually gets used to growing it out (would probably become the inventor of extensions or wig glue though lmao)
Would make the spoiled qing jing disciples better just by being around them tbh
Star student probably, would be a menace in a cute way
One of the few men allowed on Xian Shu (for visits/messages)
Would probably befriend demons ngl
Loves flying on his sword
Prefers his staff though, and eventually figures out how to make/get someone to make one for him
No one knows how he does the air scooter. They are scared.
No one asks about the tattoos either.
Or how he's controlling all these fucking elements.
He doesn't have an avatar state anymore, but that doesn't seem to stop him from being wildly more dangerous than anyone expected
Possibly unlocks permanent cultivation-blocking? Like sealing off your core
Demons don't take note
Until he learns how to do the same for demonic cores
Exorcist Aang
Possibly becomes a rogue/wandering cultivator
Wandering rogue exorcist Aang????
He's either a god descended upon the earth or a heavenly demon in disguise, according to critics
He thinks it's all silly
Until he meditates too hard and communes with a god or something who tells him they may or may not have bargained to snatch his corner of the avatars soul for a reason
Uh oh
Sokka:
Does not know how he managed to get spiritual energy or cultivate
Actively chooses not to think too much about it
The head disciple of An Ding 😭
Absolutely salty about it
Shang Qinghua is endlessly grateful though
Does not know what to make of the long hair thing; probably tries to keep his hair in a half-pony still, as an ode to the water tribe
I've seen some fics where Qiong Ding is headcannoned as the bureaucratic peak; in this case, he might be able to sweet talk his way in if fate and Yue Qingyuan is kind enough
Either way he's grateful he gets to do sword stuff again
Especially now that he can FLY on them?!
He hasn't completely forgotten his skills, so he's got a whole different style no one's seen before and it's Weirdly Good Actually
He finally works his cultivation up enough to get his personal sword
Then he finally gets to summon his and he cries
It's space sword
No one knows what the fuck to make of this weird ass sword but he doesn't care, it's his and he loves it
Known as the best ever manager of An Ding peak
Katara:
Would have one (1) argument with her brother and march up to Xian Shu
Frequent visitor of Qing Jing and Qian Cao
Mu Qingfang mourns every day that she didn't choose the medicine peak
Katara maintains that she's too ready to beat some ass to ever be a full doctor and vow to do no harm
Never quite learns to be comfy with a sword but can still handle her own
During the demon invasion on Cang Qiong (assuming she's there at the time), she bloodbends Hualing right off the mountain
The demons do NOT stick around
The cultivators are too scared to ask her what the fuck that was but they're nicer to her than before
The xian shu peak gains a fearsome reputation of possibly teaching blood magic
No One gets how she does the waterbending stuff. Outsiders assume it's some Xian Shu ancient secret technique. Or she's related to Mobei Jun. Real members know Kataras just Like This.
Keeps the hair loopies. No matter what people say.
Wears a blue necklace similar to her mother's heirloom; a gift from her shizun probably
Genuinely enjoys the sisterhood on Xian Shu. It reminds her of the better days of her home, before the southern raiders came back
Zuko:
Could've chosen from several peaks, but chooses Bai Zhan
Something about the bamboo on Qing Jing reminds him of his uncle though, so he likes to visit. But not for too long. It hurts.
Isn't really bothered by the long hair thing; while cutting hair isn't forbidden in the fire nation, long hair is common practice, especially for nobles
Keeps the standard topknot until Toph calls it ugly
And then he remembers toph cannot see his topknot
Starts doing ponytails anyway
Also a star student of Bai Zhan, especially after he busts out the firebending forms
Yet another nuisance for poor lqg
He and Toph are the only two that can keep up with each other
Known as the Twin Stars of Bai Zhan
Aka the Twin Headaches of Liu Qingge
Has a small red birthmark near his eye, on the side that used to be burned
The fact that there isn't a massive burn is mildly uncomfortable to him at first. Doesn't feel like himself
Again, No One knows how all these kids with weird qi abilities are coming from
They're beginning to suspect they're all part demon
Neither he nor Toph ever defeat the demon heritage allegations
Especially not with the way they fight. And allegedly have a Past that no one else knows about
Would also fight Binghe for his Shizuns honor
Weirdly chill for Bai Zhan actually
Has probably made leaps and bounds from his avatar hunting days already
Most expect him to have gone to a quieter peak, it's baffling
Until he beats the shit outta somebody
And then goes back to being gentle and chill and forgiving
He wonders if uncle Iroh is watching over him here too
He can only hope his uncle is still proud of him, wherever he might be
Lqg isn't his uncle, but he's still a kind presence that Zuko looks up to a little, even if the guy is a little too punchy
Thus takes it upon himself to ride or die for him
One of the few dual wielders around
His curved blades are also a source of curiosity for the others
But he's good with them so no one complains
In a bingliushen situation, Zuko, Toph, and YYX are feral protective gremlins that somehow make things better AND worse for the development of the bingliushen courtship process lmao
I'll probably make more at some point but that's all for now. If someone wants to make a fic of these PLEASE let me know, link me I'm desperate
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stem-sister-scuffle · 4 months
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STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 15
Raphella La Cognizi (The Mechanisms) vs Kurisu Makise (Steins;Gate)
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Raphella La Cognizi is an... Everything Scientist! (people said "all sciences"... also she loves magnets)
Kurisu Makise is a Physicist and Neuroscientist!
Why you should vote for each contestant:
Raphella La Cognizi:
"All of them, probably, focused on chemistry and biology if I had to guess. She's the science officer of the Mechanisms, a band of immortal space pirates. They regularly blow up planets for fun. Raphaella designs them better bombs, tortures poor captives, tortures and vivisects her crewmates, etc. I love her also"
"it's unclear--she's a mad scientist archetype more than anything! she does, however, really like magnets. she's an immortal space pirate. she possibly made herself immortal. she's autistic To me. i love her so much. as cruel and brutal as she is... science!"
"everything? the more unethical the better, although she does really like magnets. Immortal space pirate! so she's got all the time in the universe to do science. until she dies, of course, which happens when (spoilers) she decides to fly beyond the event horizon of a black hole to find out what's on the other side. She's the science officer on her starship, which is just a badass job in general, and she's got WINGS. the wings are mechanical and the reason she's immortal. we don't know for certain if she was born with wings and they were replaced, or if she just went "wings sound fun!" and built some, or much of anything about her backstory. But! speculation is rife and there is a nonzero chance she's immortal because she experimented on herself, which is fun. Also she's just *really pretty*, ok, and has the voice of an angel. She is as cruel and brutal as she is science."
"shes immortal she has time to do all the sciences. well. she does die after like 10 millennia but even that is a final science project! she throws herself into a black hole, maybe to die, maybe to learn something new :) your honor i love her"
"SHES IMMORTAL SHES A MURDERER SHE DOES EXPERIMENTS ON HER IMMORTAL CREWMATES SHE LIKES MAGNETS SHES ***GAY*** shes my beloved"
Kurisu Makise:
"This girlie out here disproving time travel theories as an 11 year old, and then making better ones with a whole ass thesis. She and her found family time travel buddies did make/have a time travelling phonewave (microwave with phone attached)"
"Physicist? I think, the usual girl genius who graduated from super elite uni at like age 17. She has the patience to deal with okabe rintarou, my ass could never fr. I need to rewatch steinsgate. That’s all"
"Idk I’m weak for analytical tsundere girlies. She’s pretty"
"Even though it has extremely little with her career, she invented a time machine as well as uploaded her brain into a computer. She's also super duper cute, she's serious but snarky, she's THE tsundere. She's got the range. Even if S;G has aged poorly with it's representation, it's still an amazing character driven story and it manages to nail that early 2000s nerd experience"
"A part of the development of the time machine. Labcoat swag."
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joseopher · 7 days
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Hadestown AU
GUYS I JUST FINISHED HADESTOWN AND I CAN'T STOP IMAGINING THE AFTG CHARACTERS IT SO HERE IS MY HADESTOWN/AFTG AU Kevin = Persephone
I mean this is obvious, isn't it???
Both Kevin and Persephone struggle with drinking problems
Both Kevin and Persephone value their freedom despite still mourning/caring for those who bind them
Both Kevin and Persephone are both girlbosses that allow nothing to stand in their way
Except when it comes to certain people they no longer stand up for themselves as they normally would (trauma likely but also sometimes care and compassion)
I love how Yes, Hades brings Persephone to the underworld too early BUT SHE LETS HIM (/affectionate)
His protectiveness over Jean mirrors Persephone's protectiveness over Eurydice and his admiration for Jeremy mirrors Persephone's admiration of Orpheus
Kevin in a dress
Andrew = Hades
I was debating on this one because Hades could easily be Riko but since my reading of Hades is sympathetic and more protective than controlling I felt Andrew was better
in this au it's less Andrew forcing Kevin to do anything than Kevin hiding and feeling safer with Andrew instead of fighting or dealing with his own issues
Andrew is enabling this behaviour by not allowing Kevin to leave his protection
It's not good for either of them and breeds resentment
Andrew has similar fears as Hades, that Kevin won't be safe outside Hadestown, that Kevin will leave him for someone that isn't damaged and cold, that Kevin deserves more than him
This leads to him always bringing Kevin back earlier no matter that he leads to a longer winter and hurts the mortals
While Kevin's gone he tries to make the underworld nicer for him (though he'd never admit it) but basically inventing capitalism like Hades does
He would never force someone into the underworld tho, always making deals so they DID agree to it even if it sucks
Eurydice = Jean
I mean do I have to explain this one???
Jean has seen how the world IS with all its cruelty and unfairness
HE IS NO STRANGER TO THE WORLD, NO STRANGER TO THE WIND
But when he meets Jeremy who sees the world for what it COULD BE: kind and fair, HE STARTS TO BELIEVE THAT DREAM TOO
He is a survivor and after learning not to give up on his life he will do anything it takes to survive
When he is left to die in a storm and meets Andrew, he finds he wants to live but is riddled with doubt and nihilism that Jeremy would look out for someone like him so he accepts his deal to join Hadestown despite knowing it means never seeing Jeremy again
He quickly changes his mind after discovering what life is like without literal and metaphorical sunlight
Orpheus = Jeremy
LITERALLY SUNLIGHT GUY
CAUSES SUNLIGHT WITH HIS AWESOME SINGING
Orpheus is poor like Eurydice but still believes in the goodness of the world, Jeremy still has trauma like Jean but still believes in the goodness of the world
literally "COME HOME WITH ME🤩☀️" "...who are you?🤨🐦‍⬛" "THE MAN WHO'S GONNA MARRY YOUUU😚☀️" coded fr
Through his song and hope, inspires Andrew and Kevin to fall in love again and the world comes back into tune😌
SPRING COMES AGAIN
Those are my main headcannons, idk about the rest of the cast though so if you have ideas lemme know!
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autisticlancemcclain · 9 months
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fic rec friday 40
hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.
The Heart of the Scorpion by crystalklances
Lance has a big old crush on the school's Soccer Captain, Keith. He tries to deny having a crush even while their every interaction sends his heart aflutter. Romantic horoscopes and secret love letters? Totally not related to Keith. Luckily, heart and stars align to prove him wrong.
i will fucking miss crystalklances every single day of my life he was a PILLAR. i wish he had kept his account and just abaondoned it but im grateful at least that he only orphaned his fics and didnt delete it. he had so much to write about the college scene and soft klance and them being tender and soft and open about it!! he also often gave keith parents and he almost ALWAYS wrote trans lance like he invented the tag!! crystalklances i miss you and this was one of my favourite fics of yours
2. It's Not Spying If You Don't Call It Spying by @jilliancares
Turns out everyone is spying on Lance and Keith's blossoming relationship.
this is truly so goofy and silly and the team is SO so nosy and they need to be involved in 110% of klance's shit. as they deserve tbh. theyre all so annoying and i support all of their crimes
3. i wanna love you (but i don't know if i can) by @rickybowens
So, of course, that was when Hunk had said, "You know, it's really good that we're all friends here. I feel like it always gets awkward when two people in a group start dating, you know?" "Well, I don't think we have to worry about that with this group," Pidge had piped up, "I love you all, but there's no way in hell I'd date any of you." Everyone else had murmured their agreement, except for Lance and Keith, who had shared a look before trying to discreetly scoot away from the other. (Or, Lance and Keith decide to date in secret so their relationship doesn't make their teammates uncomfortable. It goes about as well as is to be expected.)
secret relationship you will ALWAYS be famous. its literally my favourite trope idc!! and this arc made SO much sense in terms of a reason for them to be dating in secret!! i loved how the team was the problem but that was very much not their intention but it made sense why klance was afraid and just...this whole fic was cinema truly i love it so so much
4. Of Pidge, Perception, and Prosecution by @erinnovelist
Of all the paladins, Lance knew Pidge was the one he had to watch out for. The only time her guard was down was after she woke up. She didn’t talk, glasses discarded after long hours staring at a screen, and she couldn’t function properly without her daily cup of coffee-equivalent alien juice. Which was why, when he wandered into the kitchen that morning, Lance hadn’t expected Pidge to zero in on him and ask, “When did you and Keith start fucking?”
teehee this one made me giggle its so ridiculous. and yes i did scroll thru the secret relationship tag again idc its so good!! i love the idea of klance thinking theyre so so sneaky and the whole time pidge is like yeah bitch ive been knew yall aint subtle in the slightest
5. Shifting Rock by @ohcontrary
Shiro is back with the team and things are... difficult, but getting easier. But even as he feels more and more like himself, he notices how his relationships have change. It's possible his relationship with Lance is changed irreparably. Luckily, the mission they go on gives them a chance to talk. But on a trip so perilous, they'll need to pay attention-- It isn't just their relationship that's on shaky ground.
lance and shiro NEEDED to talk fr. if ur gonna pretend the later seasons happened then they needed to CHAT. and what better place to chat then mortal peril and the threat of being crushed to death!! holy metaphors!!
that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!
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feralforfrank · 2 years
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LOVE CONFESSIONS IN THE DARK.
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BRADLEY "ROOSTER" BRADSHAW X FEM!READER
summary you've been tasked to grab your clean clothes from the laundry room during a storm. little do you know, a certain someone has a similar task.
cw ANGST, but it's the last time. FLUFF. kind of bad writing. storms, thunder, the dark. feelings!!! miscommunication fr, definitely not how the navy operates, but idc. NON-DESCRPTIVE READER. TELL ME IF I MISSED ANYTHING.
a/n THE LONG AWAITED LAST PT3 IS HEREEEE. im feeling kind of...weird about the ending. i like it, but i dont love it. i hope you peeps enjoy it, though!! sorry for taking so long to write and post it :/
masterlist | taglist
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Sunday noon came around quicker than you wanted it. You'd slept until eleven and elected to stay in bed until it was time to eat. When that time came, you ate Penny's homemade burritos that Nix had sneaked in without the boys seeing.
The two of you ate in your bed and then laid back down. Phoenix was literally on top of you, her hands supporting her head. If Hangman were to walk in now, he'd never let her live this down. Badass Nix with messy bed hair, practically cuddling her heartbroken friend. It was a rare sight.
"I'm exhausted, Nix. I wish I'd never opened my goddamn mouth." You sighed, rubbing your temples.
You were tired. After your confession, you raced back here, flopped under the covers and cried, much like the night before. You wanted to take everything back—every word, movement and facial expression. Rooster hated you, and that was the only way you could get close to him—the hatred—but now you've shattered that wall. 
He doesn't like me. I ruined whatever connection we had. Fuck that stupid mouth of mine. Why did I have to react so poorly both times? He's not mine. I want him to be mine. No. Yes. Fucking hell, this headache. Can't we go back to normal—our normal? That has been your train of thoughts for God knows how long, and it was seriously tiring you out.
"Everything will work out for you. Rooster is full of surprises," Phoenix responded reassuringly.
You looked at her weirdly. "What kind of fucking riddle is that? Have you lost your mind?"
She just laughed, sitting up. "Shut up. I know what I'm saying."
You were about to reply when the screech of the bunkroom door caught your attention. "Oh my God!" Fanboy shouted, closing the door again. "Am I interrupting something?" 
You snorted. "Have you never heard of knocking?" You yelled back.
"What are you doing on top of each other, man?" He sounded traumatised. You giggled.
"None of your business!"
"Whatever, man. I came in to tell you it's going to storm real hard soon. Prepare for a blackout."
"Okay, thanks!" You hear the shuffling of feet moving away from your door and groan.
Phoenix makes a move to stand up. As if she knows what you're thinking, she speaks up. "I'm not going."
"Oh, please, Nix! You know how much I hate it down there! Especially if it's storming out," you whine but to no avail.
"You're in the Navy, for Christ's sake. And it's a quick job. Go in, grab the clothes, and come back. I already put them in the dryer. You only have to fetch them."
You groan but get up as well, blindly searching for your phone and earbuds. If you were going in that dark, scary laundry room, you'd at least do it your way. And who's a better companion than Taylor Swift?
It was early in the evening when all lights shut off. The heater in your room stopped groaning, and you concluded that the expected blackout was happening now. Nix was sleeping in her bunk above you, and you sighed. You'd put off going to the laundry room in hopes of Natasha changing her mind, but there was no way you were getting out of it now.
You really didn't want to face Bradshaw, and there was a big chance you would in the hallways. Unfortunately for you, no one has invented time travel yet, so you're destined to bump into him at some point. You work together, for fuck's sake. It's impossible to ignore him forever.
So, you gather yourself, put a hoodie over your t-shirt with the nearest civilian shoes, and plug your earphones before pressing play on Taylor Swift and blindly find the door. The backup generator is up and running, for the hallway lights are on. 
A few people are conversing and leaning on their bedroom doors. Some greet you with a nod and a smile, and you shoot them one back, ducking your head so as not to be spotted by your friends—who are likely hanging out with Rooster.
You arrive at the laundry room and immediately get to work. There's no one else in here, and it's cold. You feel like a child, shivering in fear as if a ghost will pop up from a corner. The music is blasting, and you're grateful, for the eeriness of this place makes you jumpy. Fuck, it's so dark.
Unbeknownst to you, Bradley was also on laundry duty. He'd put it off as much as he could, even paying Hangman to do it once. He hated the silence in that freezing room and how far away it was from everyone.
So, here he was, trying to walk as quietly as possible; so no admiral ghosts pop up to scare him. Lucky for him, he only had to put them in the bin, press a few buttons and be out of there in seconds.
He's startled when he sees you. Well, he spots your back, but he knows it's you. The unmistakable Taylor Swift tune reaches his ears. Bradley leans against the doorframe, watching as you bop your head and slightly move your hips while you hum the lyrics. 
He chuckles. Your undying love for the singer was the cause for your callsign, although not many people knew that. You made up a story about how quick you're in the air—that's why people call you that. But he knows.
And he loves his knowledge over that little detail about you because it's so significant. Bradley loves memorising things about you—from how you struggle to french braid your hair to how you like Heineken beer more than Corona because you don't like the stupid connection it has to Fast and Furious.
I miss you. The words are on the tip of Rooster's lips, but he doesn't dare say them. He wanted to give you space and time to rethink your words because—surprise, surprise—he's been in love with you for God-knows-how long. And he wants you to love him back, truly, but he doesn't want to freak you out. So, he'll gladly settle with watching you dance to Taylor while trying to hide the fond smile taking over his features.
A loud crack of thunder startles the both of you. The place goes completely black. Bradley moves off the doorframe, but you drop the half-filled basket with a gasp. A soft fuck escapes your lips, and Bradley decides to close the distance between you and help.
His hands look for your waist, wanting to help you up. He hadn't thought about how isolated you were from the world. You don't have time to move away from the hands circling around you, and a yelp escapes your lips when you hit something solid. One earbud falls off in the process.
You fight to move away and swat the person—God, please let it be a person and not an actual fucking ghost—with a shirt. You cry for it to get away, but the arms find your waist again while the person hushes you.
Bradley. It's Bradley. He's holding you tightly, shushing you, and you gulp deep breaths, trying to calm down. Your heart beat fast from what has happened, and because holy shit, Bradley Bradshaw is holding you.
You have to move away—your skin is on fucking fire. So much for ignoring him.
You push him, turning on your phone's torch. "What the fuck, Bradshaw? I almost had a heart attack." You hit him with the shirt you're still holding.
"I didn't mean to scare you. I was here to do my laundry, but the lights went out." He leaves out the part where he watched you dance. "I heard your basket fall, and I wanted to help."
And suddenly, oxygen is no longer making its way to your lungs, and your whole body is tense. Bradley is right here, in front of you, staring at you with his hands on his hips. And he also knows how you really feel about him. He has to go now.
"You, uh, you can go do your thing," you stutter, pushing your hair out of your face, your eyes never finding his. "I'll finish this on my own."
"No." It's nothing but a statement. "I'm not leaving you all alone down here."
Your heart warms, and the corner of your mouth lifts oh-so-slightly.
"Aren't you doing your laundry?"
"Fuck that. I'll do it tomorrow."
"Alright." You get back to picking your clothes out of the bin.
The silence between you lies somewhere between tense and comfortable. You feel at ease with Rooster here, knowing that no harm will come to you before him, but you can't help but feel awkward since he knows about your feelings now. The lights turn back on, and you have to make your blush disappear before he notices.
You ignore how your stomach turns—butterflies and anxiety—and close the washing machine bin's door when you finish. Well, you at least try to. The door won't latch, making you look like an idiot pushing the washing machine for no reason.
"Here, let me help." Oh my fucking God.
Rooster is hovering above you now, his hand replacing yours. He pushes the machine's door hard, and you hear the satisfying click. 
You can feel his breath down your shoulder, but you try not to tense. Your head spins to him involuntarily, and your eyes meet his. Your eyes fall from his eyes to his lips, and he does the same. Oh my God. Does he want to kiss you?
Your question is answered three long seconds later by him crushing his soft lips onto yours. It's like how all those novels and poets describe it. Instant fireworks. Your body tingles, and your heart pounds so hard that you think it'll rip off your chest. His hand encircles your waist, and you tighten your hold around a random shirt.
He's doing this out of pity. And just like that, the dream you've had for God knows how long is shattered by your own thoughts. You have to pull away.
"W-We can't do this, Rooster."
Your eyes meet his as you touch your lips. They're tingling, scratch that, your whole body feels like it's been electrocuted. He looks hurt and confused as he pants a few feet away from you.
"Why?" It sounds so sad.
"B-Because you don't like me, Rooster. I know you hate me, but I don't want something I've dreamed of for so long to get destroyed because of your silly antics." You sound even sadder.
"Is that what you think?"
"It's not a thought, Bradshaw. I know it. I've seen it with my own eyes." Tears have gathered in your eyes. Fuck, those mood swings.
Bradley exhales deeply. "I don't hate you, Swift. Never in my life have I felt what I feel when I'm around you. I feel all hot and tingly when you walk past me. My cheeks burn like a kid when your comments involve my love life, because deep down, I want you to be the protagonist of my fantasies, not some random girl I met at the Hard Deck.
Your jokes and your talent, your wit and your beauty—I love them. Your charm and ability to persuade everyone into doing chores for you are my favourite. I love listening to you talk, sarcastically or not, because you always have something to say.
Do you know how many times I've eavesdropped on you and Phoenix so I could learn more about you? I know about your hatred for Fast and Furious movies, your obvious Taylor Swift adoration, and the one time you got hammered and thought you were talking to her. 
I love knowing all those details about you, and it's not because I can use them against you. They're what make you...well, you! You're nothing like the girls I've met in my life. You're extraordinary, and I..."
He hesitates.
"Is this...Did Natasha put you up to this? I swear I don't want your pity and fake love confessions, Bradley. You don't have to pretend to be in love with me—"
"But I am! I am madly in love with you. The kind of love that is so dangerous and—and so crushing. I want to be with you every second of the day, annoy you, and make you smile. It's all I've ever wanted for years now."
Your eyes are wide and glossy, eyebrows raised in shock and confusion, and so many emotions. 
"I love you, Swift," he confirms.
"Prove it." Your words are merely a whisper.
Despite the hard rain and thundering outside, your voice is the only melody in Bradley's ears. And he doesn't hesitate. He crushes his lips against yours again, this time with hunger, passion, frustration and love. You kiss back with just as much force, but before you know it, you're pulling back, gasping for breath.
Bradley's hands are cupping your cheeks, and his forehead is touching yours. Your breaths mingle as you stare up at him. Your fingers grip his shirt tightly. 
"Is that enough proof for you?" He whispers.
You lightly shrug. "I still haven't forgiven you for almost calling me a slut." That's a lie—you have. You forgave him as soon as your head hit the pillow yesterday. He didn't mean it.
He sighs a long, sad sigh. "Please, let me make it up to you. I was a—a jerk. A complete and utter idiot. I don't deserve your love, but please, I need it. Give me a chance to prove how much I love you." Your heart clenches, and a smile tugs at your lips. 
"You can make it up to me as long as you want, Bradley Bradshaw."
He smiles back, and you think; this is it. This is heaven on earth. Bradley Bradshaw—the man you've longed for so long—smiling at you with nothing but adoration. You're heart feels light and free.
You don't want the moment to end.
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gamingtrashbasin · 5 months
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Current Stardew Valley ships
I'm including characters from Ridgeside Village and Expanded mods bc they are canon in my heart 💕
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Maru x Sam
Girl boss and her himbo, need I say more? They have to have interacted since Sam is Seb's friend! Classic crush on older brother's friend. Also I think Sam would be super creative and everytime he was like "what if-" Maru would try to invent the thing. Complete chaos. Demetrius tries to threaten Sam like he does the farmer but it completely goes over Sam's head. This pairing lives in my head rent free.
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Hailey x Leah
I can definitely see the two of them having multiple forest meet cutes and bonding over their passion for art! Just picture Hailey teaching Leah how to photograph and Leah teaching Hailey to paint and scuplt, both leaning new crafts together. They totally end up running a joint etsy and presenting their works at the fair! They make such a cute cottagecore couple fr if you think about it. I think they'd adopt a bunny don't ask me why. 🐰
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Jeric (RSV) x Alex
Yessss himbo rivals to lovers! Ever since I saw there was a mod for them to get together I've been sold. It's canon to me.
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Philip (RSV) x Sophia (SDVE)
Sophia enjoys anime, manga, and cosplay. Phillip has a secret geeky side and loves comics. I can totally see these two making awkward small talk at the Stardrop Saloon that turns into Gus politely asking them to leave because they got so enthralled discussing their favorites that they lost track of time and everything else going on around them and now the Saloon is empty and about to close lol. They end up having a slow burn geeky friends to lovers featuring them sharing copies of manga/comics and discussing the latest episodes of their favorite shows. Gus definitely ships it and gives them a nudge here and there.
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Flor (RSV) x Gunther
The slowest slow burn. They are both autism creatures. I can completely see them bonding over their special interests bc if you think about it, archeologists and psychologists both study people. Just imagine them infordumping to each other on coffee dates in the Log Cabin Café or discussing the implications of newly discovered artifacts in the museum after hours. They are basically married before either one works up the nerve to ask the other on a date. The whole valley quietly ships it.
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Shiro (RSV) x Harvey
Hear me out: Former paratrooper in recovery being treated by a doctor who wanted to be a pilot? There is no way they didn't talk about planes and Shiro's experiences. Shiro probably enjoyed that someone was talking to him about his interests instead of his injuries, it likely made him feel *normal again for awhile. I can just picture the moment when Harvey shows Shiro his radio equipment when he's well enough to go up the stairs, it's a big moment for them both for many reasons 🥺 Also, the added drama of having a crush on your doctor/patient...
*I'm not saying Shiro isn't normal, he has in game dialogue expressing he doesn't feel normal bc of his injuries. As a person with mobility issues myself I understand that mindset and how hard it is not to feel that way.
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musingsbycaitlin · 10 months
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if i must give up, then so must you: a wip intro
it's been about a year since i last posted on here, and even longer since i posted a wip update or intro, and i apologise for that. basically living away from home at uni made me ✨anxious✨ and ✨mentally ill✨ so the only writing i ever did was for assignments and my creative brain was turned off entirely. but! now that i'm back home and getting help, boy do i have a wip intro for you!
tw: gun violence, alcohol abuse, emotional abuse
disclaimer: this is my original work and plagiarism is never tolerated.
okay let's go:
genre: literary fiction
setting: 1800's, somewhere in the wild west
predicted word count: 50k
pov: first person, present tense, unnamed narrator
status: about 5k into the first draft
aesthetics: loading a rifle, wind whipping up skirts, dusty earth under feet, struggling to breathe, sleeping for a week, floral wallpaper, sunlit dust in the window, long-legged spider crawling along wooden floorboards, fingernails brushing arm hair, dogs barking in the distance, creaky gates, chewing tobacco floating in a whiskey glass, snuffed candles, laced lingerie hanging on the back of a chair, teeth touching
summary: it seems odd that her grandmother would lie, but our unnamed narrator is questioning her late grandmother's wisdom after a group of bandits raid her town. over night, she feels compelled to follow a lone cowboy she spies from the edge of her town, and finds herself going on a reflective journey across the wild west. From town to town, she wanders and meets people; she falls in love with someone she didn't expect; she learns what it means to be a woman without the burdens of her grandmother's lies. 'if i must give up' is a story about learning truths whilst growing up secluded, and reflecting on past traumas and the guilt that lingers there.
characters (the few main ones at least):
narrator: 20, (she/her), this barbie is down on her luck fr. she is just muddling her way through compulsive thoughts and actions and following this guy just because she can. a truly chaotic queen.
anne: 30, (she/her), the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. she says, dont talk to me unless you're pretty, but if you're pretty she can't talk through the drool. somehow a simp. anne please explain yourself to me.
jonah: 30-ish, (he/him to a hellish extent), good god please sir just sit down. major gael vibes, let that sink in. this ken's job is emotionally manipulate. im done talking about this man.
brady: 46, (they/them), a cowboy just out for a good time, riding and riding in both connotations of the word iykyk. lets give a hand to the obligatory orville peck inspired character of the book. if tassles on cowboy hats where invented, they would be rocking it daily. oblivious yet knowledgeable, gruff yet softly spoken. they are my fave, i will take no further questions.
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trash-collections · 1 year
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outside of the silly and smart aspects I think the reason I love senku so much is that he's just so. human. and since it's 2am I have no self control so.
I'll only be taking manga pages for animated scenes here so no big spoilers but here we go
<pos rant>
first of all despite his logic and reasoning on the outside, and his grudge against romance (aromantic ass), throughout the series he's shown to deeply care very deeply about his friends:
he cried thinking about byakuya and tsukasa
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he was genuinely relieved when he found out the sulfa drug could cure ruri
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and he wanted suika to be happy so he let her keep sagara, which ukyo picked up on too
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and this isn't even counting the many inventions and stuff he made for others, like the sulfa drug, car, and camera. or how he waited so long for taiju to revive, and he even let him revive yuzuriha, which as tsukasa pointed out was not the most logical strategy but it was for the sake of the two of them
he also showed genuine fear during the sulfuric acid / H₂SO₄ collecting segment:
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and genuine fear is rarely portrayed this way in most of the media I've consumed, it's usually either the easily scared people or strong characters already dying or facing some eldritch horror, or maybe their closest friend facing death by said eldritch horror
and imo that terror has a slightly different nuance than the fear senku shows here. the fear even BEFORE encountering H₂SO₄, just thinking about the possibility of death, even though he's trying desperately to stay calm and be a strong leader. he's the last resort for humanity to revive over a reasonable time scale and he HAS to win
at first he was also scared for his friend, chrome, telling him to stay behind for his safety, but later respects his decision to tag along and entrusts his life to him
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and this was all to save ruri, back when he only knew her as kohaku's sister, even before having "I need to know how tf she knows about last names" as a reason
and he has always been proud of his allies' achievements, like when chrome and kaseki's projects succeed, when gen did some mentalist trickery to hyouga, etc.
he also SUPER excited about science, happily plotting and narrating reactions and concepts
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and some mild ooc spoilers but I just know he totally wanted that fidget spinner lmao
anyway. I can't think of anything else (I have spent an hour and a half on this) so.
tl;dr this man is a mad scientist on the outside but a total nerd and softie on the inside and I love that for him (he's just like me fr)
</pos rant>
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seyaryminamoto · 7 months
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The Shadows in her Reflection: Sokkla Saturdays 2023
Day 5: Fire
Rated: M
On FF.net//On AO3
A/N:
Recent developments in ATLA's canon have basically decreed that this canon/comics-compliant fic is, of course, no longer canon/comics-compliant. This is no surprise to anyone, I'm sure. It's not even that the changes were huge, they weren't, but there's certainly one important difference between this story and the comic that I'd like to... talk about, I guess?
Azula's Kemurikage group, the Fire Warriors, what have you, have always been an awkward team due to the absolute lack of personality, development and fleshing out of how, exactly, they ever ended up working together. Azula broke them out of the asylum: why did they follow her afterwards? No one knows. Did she get along with any of them? No one knows. Everything is a huge question mark and, unfortunately, the new comic basically did nothing to answer these questions. Instead, it twists them even more by featuring the team being perfectly normal, adjusted, decent individuals while Azula is the only one who is a terrible, no-good person. This invites new questions: why were they in the asylum at all if there's no sign of mental illness or any unusual behavior in these people? Were they locked up under false pretenses of mental illness? If so, that should be fleshed out a bit more, right? Maybe being sent to an asylum when they were 100% okay, mentally speaking, is what makes people like them crave vengeance against the system!
... But that's not really how it reads, and it ends up proposing an interpretation of these characters that I frankly can't describe as anything but shrugworthy. Somehow they're not competent enough to avoid capture but they're competent enough to break free their imprisoned member, without Azula's help...? It's all too convenient, I'd say.
Point of all this is... the Zirin I wrote in this chapter was very much written over a month ago, probably two months ago instead. The character I decided to portray was not going to be a perfectly normal cute girl who loves her friends, because someone with that kind of personality doesn't make a lot of sense joining rogue Azula's terrorist group, if you ask me. I've constantly used Zirin's only line at Yang's hands to decide how to portray her, in which she comes off as brash, harsh, impatient, goal-oriented and willing to defy Azula. In this story, I've granted her a certain unique danger as a firebender that clearly is of my invention and has nothing to do with her canon portrayal. I'm saying all this to make it very clear that I understand how different this character turned out to be in the newest comic, and I acknowledge those differences... but I'm not rewriting this chapter, or this whole story, just to make a terrorist gang look like innocent little lambs who were just guided by a bad shepherd. If they could walk away as easily as they did, I don't understand what was keeping them with Azula in the first place.
Anyway. That would be that, as far as author's notes are concerned here. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter!
A tense silence hung in the air as Azula's placid mood shifted rapidly: she glared at her brother, whose golden gaze carried a mercilessness in it that starkly reminded her of someone else… someone he would do best not to try to imitate in any way.
That cruelty diminished when he turned his attention towards Ursa: his brow drew together slightly, puzzled by her presence around Azula, but he stepped towards her, reaching a protective hand to his mother's shoulder, as though to reel her to safety, away from his sister.
"I didn't know you were here…" Zuko said, his voice softer now. "Are you okay? Did she do anything to you?"
"She… no! Of course not!" Ursa exclaimed, startling Azula by her vehement, firm response. Zuko froze, eyes wide – the last thing he'd known about their bond, of course, was that Azula wanted to kill her own mother…
"W-well… good, then," Zuko said, still urging Ursa to pull away from the table she had been sitting at with Azula…
She didn't move.
"Mom?" Zuko frowned, glancing at Azula with eyes that turned from confused to accusatory in a heartbeat – he thought she'd done something to twist his beloved mother's mind, did he? As usual…
"What is the meaning of this?" Ursa huffed, shaking Zuko's hand off and folding her arms across her chest. "What do you think you're doing, Zuko?"
"What…?" Zuko scowled. "Mom, it's Azula! She's a hazard to your safety, to everyone's safety! You knew that, you've known that for years, she's been causing unnecessary trouble and chaos all across the Fire Nation and…!"
He faltered, frowning more heavily as the utterly confusing situation started to sink in: Azula… sitting placidly at a table with their mother. No screaming, no crying, no accusations, no murder attempts…
He froze on the spot, staring at Azula as though she'd suddenly twist herself into some manner of wicked spirit that could shapeshift as it pleased. Naturally, no such thing happened.
"And she's your sister. My daughter," Ursa said, firmly. Azula's heart jolted upon hearing her speak those words with such confidence. "And you? As far as I've understood, you issued out actual wanted posters asking for her death, Zuko? Did you, truly?"
For once, Zuko paled and backed down. It was almost amusing to see the Fire Lord balking over his mother's fury… but Azula couldn't help but dread whatever Zuko's ultimate reaction to this apparent betrayal might be.
"I… look, I've learned since then that I was wrong in some of my assumptions, but I only did that because it looked like she had kidnapped Sokka!" Zuko exclaimed. "Which… damn it. Guards! Search for Sokka in the rest of the house. Is he here, or did you ditch him somewhere when you had no use for him anymore?"
His snarl towards Azula displeased Ursa, but Azula wouldn't simply hide behind her mother throughout this conversation. Instead, she smirked at his words.
"What makes you think I'd find no more use for him?" she said. "He's a rather helpful ally…"
"What the hell did you do to him? How did you get into his head?" Zuko huffed, glaring at her. "Sokka wouldn't have teamed up with you willingly, leaving his sister to think you'd have kidnapped or killed him…!"
"I was led to believe that he'd written a letter to explain he was leaving. If she overreacted to it? That's no fault of his…" Azula shrugged. Zuko scoffed.
"Everything about Sokka's disappearance was fishy as hell! And then I find out that the two of you have been traveling all over the place, trying to shake off pursuit…!"
"That's not what we were doing," Azula said, hands on her hips. "At least, not at first. We certainly had to put more effort into shaking it off once you and your unhelpful guards turned up, but we weren't always shaking off annoyances, that's for sure…"
"None of this makes a smidge of sense," Zuko said, glaring at her. "But whatever you've deceived him with, whatever nonsense you've done to manipulate him, it's over now: we either do this the good way or the bad way, Azula."
Azula scowled: the guards near Zuko were ready to chain her down, were they? Never again. Whatever she had to do to stop them from…
"Absolutely not!"
Azula froze: again, Ursa's demeanor and determination to protect her caught her off guard, much as it did Zuko.
Then, that surprise increased all the more when her mother clasped her hand, urging her to stand behind her… offering herself as a shield to the disbelieving Azula, as a wall to overcome for the utterly aghast Zuko.
"Mom! W-what are you doing?!" Zuko exclaimed: the guards behind him, whether brandishing weapons or shackles, hesitated to move now.
"I'm doing what I have to do! What you're making me do, I'd dare say!" Ursa declared. "What do you think you're doing, treating your sister this way? I don't care what terrible things you think she has done, she's your sister! Stand down and tell those guards to put aside those horrible shackles!"
"Mom… come to your senses. Whatever she's told you…!" Zuko said, pleadingly. Ursa snarled.
"She has told me the truth! She has been honest, human, real, in ways most people refuse to be around me, these days!" Ursa exclaimed, startling Zuko. "I… I have a chance, for once, to do right by Azula and you will never persuade me not to take it! Whatever you intend to do to her, you'll do it to me first! Be it imprisonment, or moreover, execution!"
"Mom!" Zuko's eyes were struck with utter horror… whereas Azula's widened with amazement: could her mother truly be that courageous when she wanted to be? That was a rather pleasant surprise. If Zuko had been Ozai, he would have laughed in her face and subjected her to the exact treatment she had demanded…
"You are a better man than this," Ursa declared, firmly. "I know you are. So either you listen to me now and stand down… or you're losing me, just as much as you're willing to lose Azula."
That threat, evidently, didn't sit well with the Fire Lord: he glared at Azula in confusion, in horror… did he think Azula had taken Ursa from him? If he hadn't grown up at all, he might just believe that. Azula truly wondered if he might conclude something like that…
"You don't have to…" Zuko said, staring at Ursa in chagrin. "Why are you doing this? Mom…"
"Because it was about time I did," Ursa said, fists tight. "I've never been the mother she deserves. I never have been the one you deserve, either… but even if she doesn't truly need me, it won't change that I finally know what I want to do, and who I want to be, now that I can be part of her life anew. I never imagined the first person I'd have to defend her from would be you, Zuko… but I'm not afraid to do it."
Zuko stepped back, confused betrayal plain across his features: to this day, he prized the approval of those he admired and loved far more than would ever be healthy, Azula suspected. He didn't know what to do, or how to react to the possibility that his sister would have anyone on her side anymore… let alone that the person standing with her would be none other than his mother.
But the gravity of the situation didn't sink in properly for him. No, it couldn't possibly do that… not after a rather unflattering scream pierced their ears, drifting from the direction of Sokka's room.
"Sokka…!" Azula gasped: had he still been resting? Oh, she hoped he had at least been about to come out for breakfast by the time the soldiers stormed the room…
Naturally, Sokka's luck wouldn't favor him: he pulled the covers up to his chest, bashful and confused when several guards barged into the room, hands raised in defensive katas until they flinched out of form over what they found.
"W-what the hell is this?!" Sokka squealed. "Get out! Go away! W-where did all of you even come from, what…?!"
Heavier footsteps down the corridor marched straight to the room: Sokka had no time to prepare himself, or hide better under the bed, when Zuko marched in, unceremoniously.
He froze on the spot, face paling, upon finding Sokka's upper body appeared to be bare.
"W-what…? Sokka?!" Zuko squealed.
"Zuko! You… you can't just invade someone's privacy this way!" Sokka squealed, cheeks flushed as he struggled to find any way out of this predicament.
"Y-you're just… asleep? You didn't even notice we were raiding the place…?!" Zuko exclaimed… eyes drifting around the room warily to find clothing items scattered all around. His eyebrow twitched at the sight of a very evident male undergarment… "Sokka?"
"Yes?" Sokka said, with a small voice.
"Are you naked under that sheet?" Zuko asked, a dangerous glint in the harshness of his glare. Sokka winced. "You… you were naked, in a house with my mother and my sister?! That's what's going on, you idiot?!"
"I…! I…!" Sokka struggled to come up with anything to say, anything at all: he couldn't possibly fight Zuko off like this, he had no weapons at hand, for they were in his actual room… for this was Azula's, actually. Half the clothes scattered around were hers…
Zuko might notice that sooner than later. If he did, he'd realize he had slept with Azula, and then Sokka would be dragged out of here and paraded as a heathen all across town for inappropriate behavior… well, perhaps the townsfolk wouldn't really judge him for that, considering the previous day's festival, but Zuko would certainly judge him non-stop for it. He might even declare him a criminal in the Fire Nation for desecrating the Princess's virtue, as estranged as she might be from her family…
Said Princess, however, suddenly burst into the room, pushing past her brother and startling Sokka with her arrival, welcome as it might be, even if it terrified him too. It suddenly crossed his mind that she would have been better off running away, out of Zuko's reach, out of sight… he would capture her otherwise. She wouldn't be safe…
And yet she seemed to be here to protect him, instead.
"No need… to kick up a ruckus," Azula said, spreading her arms in a defensive gesture as she stood between Sokka and Zuko, without sparing even a glance over her shoulder at her lover. "Sokka is just… unrefined that way!"
"He… you're not telling me that you two have been traveling together for months and he's been constantly sleeping naked near you, are you?!" Zuko squealed, his face a mask of disgust. Azula gritted her teeth as she sought to spin her lie far better than she had…
"I only do it in the Fire Nation!" Sokka suddenly exclaimed, picking up her slack when she faltered briefly. "It's… way too hot around here! So, I just wanted to sleep comfortably and I did it this way! Nothing more to it!"
"Oh, really? And my sister and my mother being here didn't deter you from acting like a creep?!" Zuko asked. Azula scoffed as Sokka processed now that Ursa was back already…
"How do you know that neither me nor Mother do the same thing in the privacy of our rooms?" Azula asked. Zuko yelped. "The three of us might just have a perfect understanding when it comes to preferences in attire, or lack thereof, during nighttime, and we can very well keep… proper, respectful boundaries, in those instances. Such as not barging into other people's rooms without at least knocking first."
"Y-you…" Zuko grimaced, glaring at Sokka with disgust again. Sokka smiled, waving at him, still holding the sheet to his chest. "You have a lot to answer for, Sokka. I mean it."
"Yeah, yeah, well, unless you want me to answer it with my business hanging out in plain sight, I suggest we discuss that later," Sokka smiled awkwardly. Zuko winced, shaking his head in disgust as he turned around.
"Everyone, out! Sokka, get dressed, and come out here to answer for this mess!" Zuko bellowed. "And if you try to run away, I'll… I'll hunt you down all over again! Understood?"
"Geez, fine, damn it, so loud and authoritarian…" Sokka sighed, shaking his head: Zuko shot him one last glare over his shoulder before stepping out of the room. The guards followed… and Azula lingered behind, even though they kept watching her from the corridor, in case either one did anything dangerous. Sokka smiled sadly at her, and Azula responded in kind.
"He just barged in a while ago. Don't even know how he found us yet, but…" Azula said. Sokka sighed. "Go on, get dressed. I have no idea what's going to happen next, but… at least Mom seems to be keeping Zuko at bay, mostly."
"Heh. Come to think of it, he's one hell of a momma's boy, isn't he?" Sokka smirked. Azula smiled at his statement. "You have a reliable ally in Ursa, if she meant what she said yesterday… though I'm surprised she's already here."
"She came by early. Tried to cook. Didn't really go so well," Azula explained. "Anyway, so far she's on our side, and we might just be safe, to a fault, for as long as she is. So… dress up and get ready for anything. I don't know what Zuko's going to react like, going forward."
"Okay… okay," Sokka nodded. Azula nodded back, wistfully gazing at him before walking through the doorway and marching away – she would have gladly kissed him, helped him dress up, but not under those guards' watchful glares.
They hadn't really talked about keeping their relationship secret, but it seemed an obvious decision to do so, particularly when they hadn't truly settled the terms of their dynamic yet. It was difficult to label it as anything specific, after all. By the time they decided on those things, they'd also decide on whether to keep matters quiet still, or be entirely open about what they meant to each other…
After around ten minutes – Sokka had to dress in his same clothes from the previous night, to then return to his actual room and change into a proper, clean outfit there –, the Water Tribesman returned to the kitchen area, where the Fire Nation Royals remained at a standstill. The guards had backed off out of the room, providing them with more privacy than before. Zuko glared pointedly at Sokka, who held his hands up defensively.
"No need to be so cranky, Zuko. Curses, you'd think I took a dump on your favorite portrait or something," Sokka huffed.
"Heh. Might as well do it if he keeps treating you that way, at least you'd earn the scowls fair and square," Azula smirked at him. Sokka snorted, shaking his head as he laughed at her remark.
"You two…" Zuko snarled, as Sokka fastened his hair into its proper wolf's tail.
Azula bit her lip as she watched him, probably more shamelessly than she should have. The way his muscles flexed… and curses, as used as she had become to seeing him with his hair down as they traveled, as shocked as she had been by how well it complemented his features, now she realized the attraction she had experienced towards him hadn't diminished in the least now that his hair was tied up again.
"What?" Sokka pouted, hands on his hips once he was done fixing his hair. "Got a problem with my, uh, partnership with Azula?"
"What the hell are you even partners for?!" Zuko squealed. "Sokka, come back to your senses, can you? Mom, well, she's Mom! She's protecting her kid, but you? What do you get out of all of this?"
"Me?" Sokka started: the immediate, obvious answer could not be spoken. He felt Azula's keen stare on him, and his cheeks flushed as he struggled how to convey something that wouldn't set off Zuko any more than he already was…
"And you!" Zuko scoffed, glaring at Azula next. "Of all people, you… joined up with Sokka. Sokka! You two are… well, not the biggest mismatched pair of all time because you clearly are thrilled to be terrible influences on each other, as your last exchange proved…!"
"Come on, now, I'm far worse for him than he ever could hope to be for me…" Azula said, bringing Sokka to smile fondly at her.
"Point is, you two used to not want anything to do with each other and I'm not exactly aware of when the hell that changed," Zuko growled. "Or why, for that matter."
"Uh… you wouldn't believe it, I think, if we explained," Sokka swallowed hard, glancing at Azula with uncertainty. She sighed.
"Promise you won't drag me by the hair to the asylum or anywhere of the sort if we do explain…?" Azula said. Ursa, beside her, winced.
"He won't do any such thing to you. He can't. And if he ever tries to take you elsewhere, I'll see to stopping him," Ursa said. Zuko flinched: Ursa being on his sister's side was devastating, infuriating, even…
"Mom…" he said, pleadingly.
"The thing is, I… have been seeing visions of someone," Azula said, with a dry grin. "Someone Sokka was close to. And it's not just random visions, but a strange, mysterious, deeper connection than that…"
"The hell are you talking about?" Zuko grimaced. Sokka sighed.
"Azula is connected to Yue," he said. Zuko's eyes widened, and he turned his attention to Sokka again.
"What? Yue? The girlfriend who turned into the moon?" Zuko asked, confused. "Wait. Azula? What the hell did you do?! Is that weird thing with the moon darkening or fading from the sky your fault?!"
"Right! Because I'm so damn powerful that I can annihilate the moon altogether, isn't that right?" Azula said, with a sardonic smile. Sokka stepped forward, placing a placating hand on Zuko's shoulder.
"Azula didn't do anything intentionally. We don't actually understand what happened to the moon. As far as Yue explained to her, a comet crashed into it somehow and maybe that's what started all this," Sokka said. Zuko scoffed.
"And how do you know it's really Yue?" Zuko nearly squealed. "She could be tricking you!"
"Right! Let's see: did you ever tell your sister about Yue?" Sokka asked. Zuko frowned. "My relationship with Yue wasn't exactly public knowledge, you know? Only a handful of people were aware of it, mostly people close to me, and the only one among those people who has frequently crossed paths with Azula is you. How did she know Yue and I had anything going on if none of you told her, huh?"
"I… don't know! Azula has ways of figuring things out! She's smart in… messed up ways!" Zuko huffed, shaking a hand in Azula's direction. The Princess rolled her eyes and drew the mirror from her pocket.
"No doubt I'm smart enough to know exact details about how Sokka flirted by asking to do 'an activity' with Yue, huh?" Azula said. Sokka blushed a little, though he smiled fondly at the embarrassing memory.
"An activity?" Zuko repeated. "Is that some kind of… innuendo?"
"What? No! Get your head out of the gutter!" Sokka winced, lightly shoving Zuko for his remark. "Seriously, dude, we were just kids! I had no idea what I was doing, so I said something dumb and silly and… it's endearing, damn you! That's all it was!"
"Yue certainly agrees," Azula smiled. Sokka grinned back at her, and Zuko brought a hand to his forehead.
"All I'm getting out of this is… she figured out your weakness. And she's manipulating you through it," Zuko said, with a dry grin: both Sokka and Azula glared at him, unamused by his assumption.
"You really underestimate Sokka's mind that much?" Azula said. "Tell me again, why are you friends with my brother, exactly, Sokka?"
"If he keeps that up, maybe I won't be one for much longer," Sokka grumbled. "You know what? Azula! Did I ever tell you about what Zuko did in the North Pole?"
"Uh… no. I kind of forgot he was there for the siege, come to think of it," Azula said, raising an eyebrow. "Mustn't have been very impactful if I can't remember any reports of anything noteworthy he did…"
"More like he did something incredibly stupid that he most likely doesn't want us to bring up…" Sokka said, staring at Zuko sternly. Zuko grimaced.
"Look, I was another person back then…!"
"Ask Yue to tell you, Azula. Go on," Sokka said.
Azula blinked blankly, glancing at the mirror. Yue grimaced.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine. My brother's on the verge of a nervous breakdown, maybe, but I'm alright," Azula said. Yue smiled warmly. "Did you hear the question?"
"I did, and I… I do remember what happened. It's not very flattering for your brother, though…"
"Any unflattering stories about Zuzu are worth his weight in gold," Azula declared. Zuko snarled at her, but her attention remained on the mirror. "Go on, tell me."
With that, Yue began her retelling. Zuko glared at her as Azula raised her eyebrows slowly.
"She says… she was with Katara when the Avatar started meditating in the oasis," Azula began. Zuko's eyes widened. "Says she panicked about Aang crossing over suddenly, he was glowing and all… and that's when Zuko showed up. Huh. Apparently, you mocked Katara and said she was a 'big girl now' because she was confident that she could protect the Avatar by herself?"
"Woah, woah, woah… you said WHAT to my sister?!" Sokka squeaked. "I didn't know that part!"
"I…!" Zuko's cheeks reddened: Sokka hadn't been there to hear that, it was true…
"That is incredibly inappropriate. Shame on you, Zuzu," Azula said, before focusing on the mirror again. Sokka's eyebrow twitched as he stared down his friend ruthlessly. "Alright, then… Yue says she left, but Katara explained later that you defeated her once the sun rose and then took Aang forcibly even though they weren't supposed to move his body at all, so he'd know where to return once he came back. Why was he going to the Spirit World to begin with…? Uh… oh. Huh. He wanted to get help from spirits to defeat the Fire Nation forces, then. Anyway, after that… Katara, Yue and Sokka flew on Appa to find you, because you ran off through the tundra. They found you by some cave and… heh. Yue says Katara beat you in a single move. Nicely done."
"That was very gratifying to see," Sokka said, with a dry grin. Zuko groaned, covering his face with a hand.
"And after that… you and Katara wanted to leave Zuko to freeze to death?" Azula asked, glancing at Sokka in disbelief. "Yue… apparently had no opinion on the matter. Aang's the only reason why Zuko didn't actually just… wow."
"Let's just say, months of being chased by someone makes you very unfriendly towards them," Sokka said. "But you know what's funny, Zuko? I actually regret having said that nowadays. Even if I know why I did it, and I don't think there was any way I wouldn't have, under those circumstances… ultimately, I'm glad you survived. I'm glad you're here, and that we became friends when we did."
Zuko eyed him with uncertainty, aware already that Sokka was going down a rather unpleasant road with that particular reasoning…
"So, as hard as it can be for you to fathom that maybe someday you'll look back on your relationship with your sister and feel the same way about it? I can guarantee that I already reached that stage," Sokka said, arms folded over his chest. "She's the real deal. She's not lying to me, I know she's not. That's Yue in her mirror, in her reflections, in her dreams… it is her. And we're traveling together so we can help Yue see all the sights and places she never could while she was alive, so she can experience the cycle of the seasons, all those things!"
"Right," Zuko grunted, his eyebrow twitching. "And what happens after Yue's had her fill? Do we go back to terrorism, Azula?"
"I…" Azula gritted her teeth, and Sokka scoffed. "I know it's hard to believe I don't intend to do that, but I… won't do that. Not anymore."
"You really don't need to talk to her that way, damn you," Sokka huffed.
"It's going to take a while to convince you of anything, I know it will, but…" Azula said, breathing deeply. "I don't feel the need to do that sort of stuff nowadays. And yes, that doesn't fix all the chaos I caused…"
"You messed with Uncle Iroh not that long ago!" Zuko exclaimed. Azula winced, and Sokka snorted.
"Come on, now. What she did there wasn't terrorism, it was… a prank," he said, with a shrug.
"A surprisingly tame and yet amusing one, at that," Ursa agreed. Azula grimaced, eyeing her mother with uncertainty.
"Here I thought you'd found it terrible too…" she said. Ursa huffed, shaking her head with certainty.
"Zuko is concerned, or should be, about things that endanger the Fire Nation," she said. "I hardly see how a playful, if ill-spirited prank, could achieve that."
"Don't make excuses for her!" Zuko groaned. "Mom…!"
"Making excuses?" Ursa asked, raising her eyebrows. "Do tell… what did you do, exactly, when I told you about how my terrible, no-good choices had resulted in your father treating you as poorly as he did?"
Zuko froze. Ursa smiled sardonically.
"I told you I was unforgivable. You said you disagreed. You made excuses. You said I had no choice," she said.
"But that's different���!"
"Yes: what I did to you and your sister was far worse than what Azula did to Iroh," Ursa finished. Zuko groaned. "So, for that matter…"
"Why the hell are you both so determined to protect her from me?" Zuko exclaimed, looking at them helplessly. "When did I become the bad guy in this situation?"
"Why, I would gladly say you're not… but you certainly pushed your tiles to that corner when you issued out wanted posters calling for her to be caught dead or alive," Ursa said. Zuko winced.
"Well, I don't really want her dead! I just don't want her endangering anyone, simple as that!"
"You just saw she's not doing that right now, so for that matter, you can just as well leave the way you came," Sokka said. Zuko scoffed.
"Your sister's worried sick about you," Zuko said. Sokka winced. "And you have a lot of answers to give her too. Me? I'd rather focus on my own sister, but if you would be so kind and go back to Republic City, talk to Katara and Aang, and tell them what's going on…"
"Yeah, no. I'm not leaving Azula," Sokka said, firmly. Her cheeks flushed upon hearing his certainty. Zuko snarled.
"If you don't trust me to be reasonable with her, at least trust that my mother will keep me in check!" Zuko exclaimed. "Besides…! Why the hell are you standing up for her like this? Why are you so sure that you're making the right choice here? Sokka…"
"Do you really think you know the first thing about Azula?" Sokka asked. Azula scowled.
"If he doesn't, you're not about to start giving things away, now, are you?" Azula scoffed. Sokka shrugged.
"Nah, but… I'm just saying, he doesn't understand how I spent months with you, does he?" Sokka said. "And not only do we not hate each other after all that, we're getting along great! At least, on the most part."
"What's that supposed to mean? In what regards do you not get along…?" Zuko scowled. Sokka ignored him.
"My point is, if your own brother has no idea why I'm protective of you, maybe that's the very reason why I should be," Sokka said. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I'm not letting anything bad happen to you."
"Nor will I," Ursa said. Zuko snarled, rubbing his brow in frustration.
"What makes anyone think I'm going to…? Ugh!" he growled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I still don't understand how exactly I'm the bad guy here, but have it your way!"
"Zuko…" Azula called him, earning herself a resentful glare. "If I agree to go with you for questioning, or whatever you want from me… what would my status be, exactly? Would you deem me your prisoner, or…?"
"I…" Zuko gritted his teeth: evidently, affirming that last question would be utterly stupid. But what would she be, if not a prisoner? He sighed, shaking his head. "You'd be… an honored guest. That's what."
He spoke the words with poorly contained bitterness. Azula sighed, hands on her hips as Ursa scrutinized her son intently.
"Whatever you intend to inflict upon her, you'll subject me to it first," Ursa said. Zuko pouted. "I figured I'd remind you of that. But if Azula is an honored guest, I'll probably be pleased with my own treatment too."
Zuko snarled, rubbing his brow with his fingertips and shaking his head. Even the sight of her son in apparent distress didn't change Ursa's tune.
"Whatever. I… I'll wait for you outside. Get your things, if you have any. You're coming back to the Palace with me. Guests," Zuko reiterated, with a dry grin, before turning on his heels and leaving the room – clearly, he needed some time to himself to stew over the shocking betrayal of seeing his mother taking Azula's side to that extent.
"Well, that wasn't a total disaster. Almost, but not in the end," Sokka said, smiling awkwardly before turning towards Azula. "You okay?"
"I'm… I'm fine. Which is not what I expected to say after being face-to-face with Zuko again," Azula admitted, raising her eyebrows. She turned towards her mother, who still seemed slightly displeased… "You didn't have to go that far…"
"What, you mean by telling him he'd have to do to me anything he did to you?" Ursa asked. "Considering that was what it took for him to restrain that hostility… I suspect I did have to."
"Heh," Azula said, with a weak grin. "You might just have lost your mind slightly, then."
"Maybe it's Zuko who did," Sokka said. "We're, uh, going with him? You sure? I mean, even if I know it wouldn't be the nicest thing to do, we could run away now…"
"No. I think running now would seal my fate, who knows if yours too, as an enemy of the Fire Nation," Azula said. "If this is the first and only time that I'll have a chance to settle things with Zuko, I'd do best to take it."
"Well, if you say so. But I'm standing by you through and through," Sokka said, stubbornly. Azula smiled at those words, perhaps more fondly than she should have.
"You'd better hold some of that back. He's going to start, well… suspecting that you weren't sleeping like that just because the weather is too warm," Azula said, cheeks flushing. Sokka winced, eyes flickering towards Ursa warily. She eyed them with a knowing grin.
"Well, that's for the two of you to discuss. I'm sure you'll figure out a plan on what to do, going forward," Ursa said. "I'll keep an eye on Zuko and make certain that he's not combusting over this. Go gather your things. Mine are at the inn, after all… oh, but finish the mochi at least before we go, Azula. They're edible, if nothing else is…"
"And Zuko cut me off just as I was having them… that's a bigger crime than any I ever committed," Azula groaned, eyeing her guilty pleasure sweets with longing.
"What about you?" Sokka asked Ursa. "You'll eat something, or…?"
"I'll make Zuko's staff feed me, why not?" Ursa smirked. "It's still early anyway. I'll have them set up proper breakfasts for the two of you later. Maybe I'll even stay and watch how they make the meals, that way, once we're on the road again after Zuko lets us go, I'll be able to cook some food…"
"You… w-wait, what?" Sokka blinked blankly. Ursa raised an eyebrow.
"Oh. Uh. Well, you'll have to discuss that first," she said, with an awkward grin. "I'm sure you'll want to have a say upon that. I'll just… go now."
"Right…?" Sokka watched Ursa walk away with confusion… but he turned his eyes on the blushing Azula before the woman was out of sight. "I guessed I'd missed a lot of things, but that's a bit more than I expected. What was that?"
"Well… we talked. It's probably the best conversation I've ever had with her," Azula said. "I never really thought she might be plagued by her own set of troubles, truth be told. It seems she's a little lost in life, too. Might be expected for someone to feel that way, after having two lives to conciliate into one…"
"Might be," Sokka agreed, nodding. "And after getting to understand her better, does she understand you a little better too?"
"I think my outburst from last night saw to that," Azula sighed, leading Sokka back to the corridors where the rooms were. "I, uh… I'm sorry I blew up as I did. I may have inflicted a lot more strife upon you both than I should have."
"I wouldn't call it that," Sokka said, eyeing her with heartfelt compassion. "I'm sorry too, I kind of antagonized you and pushed too hard when we were alone later too…"
"I'm glad you did," Azula said. Sokka raised his eyebrows. "Though you're starting to grow a little too good at understanding whatever I need, whenever I need it. It's, uh… disconcerting."
"Heh. It's always nice to know I'm surprising you in a good way," Sokka grinned. Azula smiled back at him. "But… you really seem calmer now. Was it Ursa, or…?"
"Actually… it was Yue."
Sokka froze, uncertain of what those words meant. Azula, however, smiled as she shook her head in his direction.
"Does it ever bother you, being right about things as often as you are?" she asked. Sokka blushed slightly.
"About… which things?" he asked.
"She doesn't hate me for… well, us. She actually… asked me what sleeping with you had been like, the utter weirdo," Azula laughed. Sokka smiled, cheeks flushing further upon hearing that. "I apologized, but she… she didn't need apologies. She didn't feel betrayed. She said she loved you… and that she loved me, too."
Sokka's eyes widened, though his heart soared upon hearing that: of course Yue would love Azula. Of course she would have grown to see what he had, surely far earlier too…
"Seems like she really just wants us to be happy together, so… guess we'll have to figure out how to achieve that, huh?" Azula smiled teasingly at him. Sokka chuckled, shrugging.
"I'm sure we have an idea or two on how to start," he said, stepping closer and taking her face into his hands.
This time, Azula was aware of the weight of Yue's mirror in her pocket. She didn't draw back from Sokka's kiss regardless, hand upon his chest as they pecked each other multiple times, relishing in a moment of privacy that they weren't likely to find anew once their journey to the Capital began.
And they might not have much of that even after they left, either.
"But the thing is, I… may have extended an offer to my mom to come with us," Azula whispered against his lips. Sokka raised an eyebrow, puzzled, and Azula kissed him softly once more, as though to coerce him into accepting that. "I know it'd mean more restraint for us, and we wouldn't be able to be crazy as much as we were yesterday, but…"
"Heh. That side of it is a shame, no lie, but… I'm fine with it," Sokka smiled warmly, brushing her hair with his fingers. Azula sighed in relief.
"If you're sure… go get your things. We're damn lucky that my brother isn't smart enough to realize half the clothes scattered in the room you were naked in were mine…"
"I think he was too appalled to stop and confirm who they belonged to," Sokka smiled awkwardly. "I'm not sure he'll ever be ready to know that we, uh… canoodled a little too much."
"That's the word you're going to use?" Azula asked, amused. Sokka chuckled and shrugged. "You're a goofball. Go, pick up your things, I'll get mine… and I'll pick up the mochi on my way out too. Let's get ready to face Zuko and his nonsense, shall we?"
Sokka nodded enthusiastically: they shared another thorough kiss, one in which Sokka dared sneak a few bold caresses, and Azula wound up entering her room in a perfectly blissful mood afterwards, as though she weren't about to march into a likely tricky situation in a matter of moments…
Zuko was upset, but he couldn't be too upset, could he? She hadn't done anything wrong right now. Ursa's support had been a shocker, but it might just be the best possible defense from her brother's wrath. Resolving her conflicts with Ursa certainly was one thing… figuring anything out with Zuko would be much more difficult, if just because of his disposition. Merely a few weeks ago, Azula would have told herself that she'd rather deal with her brother's hostility than her mother's emotional manipulation, her sad doe eyes, and her meaningless apologies… but Ursa's reaction to her rant, as well as the conversation they had shared just that morning, had caught her by surprise. She never imagined she might be able to start over with Ursa, and there truly would be no erasing their past… but it was about time to ensure that whatever troubled history they shared would not preclude the possibility of a better future.
The liveliness of Ember Island appeared slightly stunted, as most its population watched in confusion when their Fire Lord led a march towards the largest, grandest ship docked in their harbor: his Royal Barge would rush through the internal waters of the Fire Nation fast enough to bring them to the Capital in a couple of hours, at most. Thus, neither Sokka nor Azula bothered choosing cabins or even asking where they would stay for now: after enjoying their breakfast aboard the ship, sharing the mochi Ursa had found for Azula, they chose to wait on the deck instead of finding any private cabins, sitting together by the ship's railing… meanwhile, Ursa had dragged Zuko inside the ship's tower in order to have a thorough conversation about many things that Zuko appeared to need to hear.
"Well, despite it all, looks like we're going to end up in the Fire Nation Capital," Sokka reasoned, with a slight grimace. "Did he ever explain how he found us?"
"Not really," Azula said, relaxing against the ship's railing. "I suppose we were seen at some point. I'll try to ask later, or maybe you can… but Mom appears to be quite busy scolding him right now. Never thought I'd see the day…"
"A nice surprise, huh?" Sokka smirked. "Guess your mother wasn't as far gone as we thought she was…"
"We? You thought so too?" Azula asked. Sokka shrugged.
"No offense intended to her, but… she sounded like the exact opposite of my mother," Sokka said. Azula hummed, eyeing him with interest. "My mom sacrificed herself, lying to some piece of shit from the Southern Raiders to tell him that she was the last waterbender, rather than Katara. He… he killed her because of that."
Azula's stomach clenched. A swirling fear gripped her chest, with misplaced guilt that might not be as far out of place as she wished it were… for the ideology, the regime, responsible for the death of Sokka's mother was the one she had fought for, across all those years. She knew there were plenty of deaths and sacrifices throughout the war… but she hadn't known Sokka had faced one quite as close as that of his own mother.
"Katara's still working through it to this day. I didn't realize that was why it had happened until she told me, and she didn't even explain until a few years after she confronted the killer directly," Sokka explained. "Anyway… I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like, if my mother had been married to a bastard like your father, she would have never forsaken her kids, just as she didn't forsake Katara. Meanwhile, your mother…"
"She left us and forgot about us, yes," Azula said. Sokka shrugged.
"Even back when we found her, in Hira'a, I didn't really know how to feel about that," he said. "I kind of convinced myself to stay in my lane because it wasn't my business, you know? Who cared how I felt about something like this? But… as time goes by, I've realized I can't really help myself. It's just not fair, Azula. It never has been fair on you."
"No, I suppose not," Azula whispered, glancing at Sokka with uncertainty. "But a mother who would forsake her kids is… is probably less painful to lose than one who loved them with everything she had."
Sokka grimaced, glancing at her with uncertainty: Azula reached out to take his hand, careless about the sailors and soldiers who might see her.
"I'm sorry. Doesn't count for a damn thing, I had no real say upon what happened to your mother, but…" Azula said, gritting her teeth. "It was a lot easier to support the Fire Nation's war by closing our eyes to the rest of the world. That's what everyone seemed to learn how to do. Your mother should have never died that way."
"No, she definitely shouldn't have," Sokka said, with a fragile smile. "But… well, nothing can be done to bring her back, I guess. Though… huh. Wait a second! Ask Yue about the Spirit World! Ask her if the spirits of our people actually go there…!"
Azula blinked blankly, pulling out the mirror. Yue seemed as perplexed by the question as she was, and she offered her a sad smile along with a shake of her head.
"Looks like she doesn't know much about that," Azula said.
"Most souls don't really make it into the Spirit World that way, I think. They tend to be, well… sent back to the real world? Until the soul achieves enlightenment, I guess…"
"Says only the souls that achieve enlightenment would enter the Spirit World," Azula concluded. Sokka sighed and shrugged.
"Worth a shot," he said. "Anyway, your nation's soldiers are nasty, yeah, but… it was a long time ago. We were as good as babies back then. Don't feel responsible for it."
"So, it doesn't really matter that I wouldn't have cared about this one bit if I'd learned about it a year ago?" Azula probed him. Sokka snorted.
"Matters to you now. That's enough for me," he said, smiling at her. Azula shook her head.
"You're too nice for your own good. Still… I'm sorry you that didn't have a mother while growing up either," Azula said.
"If this subject had come up any sooner across our journey, I would've told you not to worry if yours never tried to do better for you," Sokka pointed out. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I mean… if she hadn't done anything but piss you off, the way it sounded like when you confronted her when she first turned up? Well, I would've understood if you hadn't wanted to give her another chance. Though… I suppose you do now, huh?"
"I don't know what's gotten into all of you," Azula said, startling Sokka. "Starting with you and Yue, having it in you to see more to me than anyone else did… and suddenly my mother is taking stands against Zuko for my sake?"
"Don't forget that Toph let you out of prison and handled Kuei and Zuko for us, though I have no idea how that turned out. One more thing to ask Zuko about," Sokka reasoned, tapping his chin with a finger. Azula sighed.
"None of you make any sense. How is it possible that the person who sees things and hears voices has a clearer understanding of reality compared to all of you?" Azula asked. Sokka laughed and shrugged.
"Guess you're special that way," he said. Azula's heart somersaulted in her chest at the sight of his affectionate smile. "Anyway… it's good that your mom wants to help you. Definitely improves my opinion of her so far. Honestly, it was about time someone in your family came through for you. Though I'm still a little surprised that we'll go as far as traveling with her…"
"I know that means we'll have a lot more pressure, and less privacy, and, well… it's going to be awkward. But to be fair, she already walked in on us once so, not much left to the imagination there anymore…" Azula sighed, cheeks flushing at the memory. "How the hell did I manage to talk to her or look her in the eye after that nonsense, exactly?"
"I can't say I know, but I'm glad you did," Sokka said, squeezing her hand gently.
"Of course you are," Azula sighed, glancing at him uneasily. "You sure you're fine with this? With… traveling with her?"
"Might be a bit awkward, sure… but she'd be more likely to keep us in check than Yue was," Sokka smiled awkwardly.
"The sneaky little troublemaker said she caught a few glimpses of us in the bathroom, through the mirror there…" Azula said, with a grimace. Sokka's cheeks flushed slightly. "She said she looked away after a while, but I'm starting to worry that she might not have. Naughty brat. Teenagers do have an inappropriate interest in these matters…"
"Well, I'd like to think she… has better sense than that. Restraint? I don't know," Sokka laughed. Azula scoffed as she pulled the mirror out, startling Sokka. "What, are you going to ask her if she'll behave herself right now?"
"Might as well," Azula said, glaring into the reflection. Yue smiled at her, cheeks slightly flushed, clearly having overheard their conversation. "You wouldn't look intentionally, or hear intentionally, whenever he and I are up to no good together, would you?"
"… Nooooo?"
"That's the most convincing negative answer I've heard in my life! Your lies are getting a lot worse now, mind you," Azula smirked.
"I wasn't lying as much as you think I was before! Maybe I am now, though… but Azula, I'm curious!"
"Well, that's unsettling. Tone down that curiosity," Azula huffed, shaking her head and staring at Sokka. "You're not wrong, my mother's definitely going to be a good asset. Otherwise, this one would get corrupted by how filthy we are, too."
"The Filthy Royals," Sokka said, proudly. Azula snorted and laughed. "It's not that bad, is it?"
"Sounds terrible," Azula as good as cackled. Sokka scoffed, shaking his head.
"Always so judgmental. We still don't have a team name and that's not very nice, mind you. Now that your mother's joining in too, it's going to be even harder to find a unifying factor."
"How about 'Sokka and the women he can't keep up with'? Sounds like a good name to me…"
"Very accurate, but too extensive. You'll have to be more concise," Sokka smirked. Azula laughed again, glancing at him sideways.
"Say…" she breathed in, holding his gaze briefly before tearing her eyes away. It wasn't easy opening up to people, but it was easier when it was Sokka. "I… thanks for not running out on me over my outburst from last night. I mean, you're probably the one person who has every chance to leave me and yet you've chosen to stay without fail. I might not deserve it, but I… I'm glad you chose to do that. I'm glad you didn't run away."
"I'm afraid I'm not the type to run from beautiful women. Instead, I chase them all over the world and fall head over heels for them without even trying," Sokka said. Azula snorted, staring at him skeptically. "I know we have a lot to figure out still, there might be more bumps along the way… but we'll do it, in time. Don't fret about it right now, okay?"
"Well… we should figure out what to do about Zuko, though," Azula pointed out, raising her eyebrows. Sokka blinked blankly. "By which I mean… that absurd nonsense we fed him about why you were sleeping naked apparently worked. He has no idea you and I, well…"
"Yeah, you know, he's very gullible sometimes," Sokka smiled awkwardly. Azula laughed and nodded. "But I guess what you mean is… do we keep it quiet still? Or do we talk things over, so we decide whether to come clean about it or not?"
"Thing is… do any of them even know that you and Suki are done?" Azula asked. Sokka shrugged.
"Toph knows. Don't know if she told Zuko, though," he said. "Though, frankly… is that a big cause for concern?"
"I'd rather they don't give you shit for cheating on her with me. You have to know what this looks like," Azula said, staring at him skeptically. "A hopeless man clinging to his past love has too many clashes and conflicts with his would-be wife, and as a consequence runs off to start an affair with the dangerous, deadly but apparently beautiful woman who's so very bad, absolutely no-good for him…"
"So, what, I'm having a midlife crisis at twenty-seven?" Sokka snorted. Azula laughed, dropping her head against the railing. "Well, guess when your life is as weird as mine has been, it's kind of justified for it to start earlier. Didn't you say that's what's going on with Yue too, as a spirit? Then… the Midlife Crisis Royals! Ha! That actually bonds all of us together, why not?"
"That's awful… most of all because you're not wrong," Azula snorted, bending over forward as she laughed harder. Sokka smirked proudly, arms folded across his chest.
"Gotcha with that one! We have a team name now, like it or not!"
"No, we don't! There's no way we're keeping that one, Sokka, anything but that!"
"C'mon, bet Yue agrees with me," Sokka said, taking the mirror from her and pointing it at Azula. "Hey, Yue, tell her! My idea is the best idea!"
"… I actually don't like it at all. Don't let him use that one, Azula."
Her negative broke Azula with further laughter – so used as she was to hearing Yue agreeing with Sokka on most accounts, she certainly didn't anticipate the opposite happening now.
"Well, well? Bet she thinks it's great! I'm sure she does!" Sokka snickered, waving the mirror proudly in front of Azula.
Standing by a window, in the ship tower's second level, Zuko scowled at the sight of his sister laughing quite so vividly at whatever Sokka was saying. Even in their younger years, he couldn't remember anyone, not even Aang, laughing that way at Sokka's nonsense. An uneasy feeling spread in his gut, one he wasn't sure how to interpret, or what to make of… for it had been quite a long time since he had experienced it over Azula.
Was she a better fit, a more fun companion, than he ever had been? If given a chance, would she mesh perfectly with his friends, better than he ever had? Would he lose everything he had gained to her, if she was granted the chance to heal that their mother was asking him to offer her?
"You didn't send her to the asylum when you did because you thought she was a lost cause, or did you?" Ursa huffed. Zuko gritted his teeth, tearing his gaze away from the pair by the deck. "Otherwise, you would have chosen prison. Even if you didn't understand the full extent of what they did to her in the institute, you had to have believed it was a better choice for her health than a fate as bleak as your father's."
"Had better conversations with my father in prison than I did with her, though," Zuko said.
"Maybe that's more of a reflection of what that asylum could do to a person, rather than anything that determines whether your father or your sister are better people," Ursa said. "Truly, Zuko… as difficult as this may be for you to wrap your head around, it shouldn't be. I'm not going to change my mind about her. She's not manipulating me."
"Right, because this initiative to go travel the world with those two isn't their doing?" Zuko asked. "Say what you will, Mom, but she could have guilted you into wanting something you actually don't…"
"And what if I do want it?" Ursa asked. Zuko gritted his teeth. "What if I need time away from home?"
"But…" Zuko said. Ursa raised an eyebrow.
"But what?" she said. "You forgave me when I abandoned you and your sister all those years ago. This time, I'd be choosing to travel with her and hopefully help her find peace…"
"It's not the same," Zuko said: his heart churned upon realizing the real reason why it wasn't, but he bottled it in for now. "She's dangerous, Mom. Right now, she's saying she sees Yue, but what if she goes off the rails in some worse way later too? You can't know what you're going to get with her."
"You think she's going to kill me and Sokka eventually?" Ursa asked. Zuko winced. "I'm not sure I believe that would happen. Fact is, I… I would even argue that it wouldn't. She has been with Sokka for a long time, and if anything, it seems they're getting along marvelously right now."
"That doesn't mean much. Sokka, Aang and Toph didn't give me a hard time when I joined their group. Only Katara did," Zuko said.
"So, you'd only learn to trust her if Katara did?" Ursa asked. Zuko winced.
"No, I'm just saying…"
"You wouldn't trust her at all, not even if your friends do."
Zuko shivered, lowering his gaze. Ursa folded her arms over her chest.
"Zuko, dear… I love you. You know I do. I've done terrible things, I've made awful mistakes… and I haven't made up for many, if any of them, so far. You forgave me regardless because you loved me. Because you prized me. Because your need for my wellbeing, my safety, my happiness, was paramount to finding justice. Am I wrong?"
"Well… no? But you're you, and she's her!" Zuko scoffed.
"And what if you could heal your bond?" Ursa asked. "What if you could sit with those two and laugh alongside them, too?"
Zuko froze. Ursa shook her head slowly.
"You've been poisoned terribly by your father, Zuko. In ways you never truly understood," Ursa said. Zuko winced.
"That's not… I'm not my father. I'm not!"
"I never said you were. But treating your sister as a wanted criminal, to be hunted all across the world? Isn't that the same thing your father did to his brother? To you?"
Zuko yelped. Ursa sighed, taking his hands in hers.
"No, Azula didn't do things so terrible that she cannot be forgiven for them. By all means, Iroh's death toll will always be far greater than either yours or Azula's could have been," Ursa said. "And yet you can accept him, while turning your back on her. I don't blame you, dear, for your uncertainties and your fear, for not wanting your sister to be around you constantly… but there comes a point in life where we need to stop running away from the harder truths we don't want to face. Azula brought me to realize that. She told me many things I didn't want to hear, but that I had to. And maybe that's what you need to prepare yourself for: listen. Don't just talk back, don't just defend yourself… listen. You have good intentions, dear… but you cannot do anything with them if you refuse to open your heart to other people's needs. More so when you're actually trying to help them."
"Well… I wasn't really trying to help Azula," Zuko confessed, frowning. "And I'm not even sure I want to. I keep thinking she'll just spit it all right back at me if I try."
"Is that any reason not to try at all?" Ursa asked. Zuko flinched. "Your uncle didn't give up on you even when you didn't make matters easy for him, he's told me so, as did you. It wasn't until you opened your heart to him, until his needs mattered as much as your own, that you learned to appreciate him properly. Azula? I think she's at that stage with Sokka, and maybe with Yue, too. Your sister isn't some nightmare to fend off, or merely a terrorist to fight against: she's your family. And you're one of the most powerful people in the world right now, dear. This nation is full of people who believed in the same things she did, and if they'd had the power she held, they wouldn't have acted any differently than she did. You're their Fire Lord: you're her Fire Lord. Wouldn't it be suitable for you to do right by your every subject, no matter how difficult it might be?"
"It's different when you're talking about Azula," Zuko scowled. "She's… not my subject. I haven't thought of her as that ever before."
"Then maybe it's time for you to start," Ursa said. Zuko winced, uncertain. "You're her older brother. And you cannot hope to heal this world, this nation, if you'll give up on members of your own family just because it's hard. In her case, half the work, more of it, even, was already done by others. If she could reach an understanding with me, she surely can with you too. All you have to do is… try."
Zuko gritted his teeth, a fist tightened: that sounded like a taller order than he was ready to commit to… even though, objectively, it shouldn't have been. Trying something didn't necessarily translate to sticking with a set course for good. If Azula went off the rails again, as she often did, Zuko very well could prove to everyone how wrong they had been about his sister.
But if she didn't… then maybe he could be a better brother, starting here and now. It was difficult to fathom, it made him deeply uncomfortable… but if Sokka and Ursa were right to stand by Azula, if she truly was seeing Yue and changing in more ways than he knew? Perhaps… they'd have a chance to be a real family one day. Perhaps.
"I'll talk to her once we get to the Palace," Zuko said. Ursa raised her eyebrows. "I… will try to mend fences. But she does have things to answer for… and I hope she's ready to do it."
"I'm sure she will be," Ursa said, with a genuine smile. "Thank you, Zuko. Your sister needs this, so much more than she realizes. Her heart is finally on the mend, thanks to Sokka and Yue… we could be part of that too. Wouldn't you like to have a positive impact on her life, lead her on a better path…?"
"I… guess I might not mind that. But we'll see," Zuko said. Ursa sighed, smiling still as she approached Zuko.
"Thank you for trying, dear. Thank you."
He hugged her back, uneasy, unsteady. A part of him wondered if Ursa would regret her earlier harshness… but he didn't dare ask. If she didn't, she might just be upset at him for so much as suggesting that she should…
Would she stand up to Azula similarly, if their roles were reversed? The realization that she would, that she might just have gone further for his sake, chilled Zuko's heart as he held his mother closely. He was a fool, wasn't he? Envying his sister for having their mother's attention, if just briefly… she was Azula's mother too. Just as she was Kiyi's. As special as his bond with Ursa might be… he would be an utter bastard if he tried to keep Ursa to himself when she had other children to watch over, too.
He sighed as he glanced through the window anew: their destination approached. His conversation with Azula wouldn't wait for much longer.
The Princess was visibly unsettled upon being in the Fire Nation Capital as herself this time. Her attire, far too casual, suited Ember Island so much better than the grand seat of power of her people. She'd change into something else as soon as she had the chance, maybe ask Sokka to fix her hair too…
But Zuko wouldn't give her that chance: as soon as they crossed the threshold into the Palace, the Fire Lord turned towards her with a stern frown.
"We'll talk privately," he said. Sokka huffed. "And I don't know why that bothers you so much, Sokka, but this doesn't concern you."
"It… doesn't," Sokka said, begrudgingly – he couldn't claim to be concerned over Azula's safety to that extent, not unless they were ready to set off Zuko's alarms regarding their relationship.
Still, he sighed as Azula shrugged – clearly, she wasn't all that pleased for this outcome, but she wasn't about to run away from her brother either.
"See you when I get out, I guess," she said, simply. Sokka sighed.
"Hey… wait."
Azula had merely taken one step forward when Sokka took her hand, placing the mirror carefully in her palm.
"I'd taken it earlier, before we arrived, remember?" Sokka smiled a little. "You won't be alone if Yue's with you."
"Heh. Sabotaging Zuzu's attempt to speak privately with me, I see," Azula said, though she couldn't hide her genuine, fond smile. "Thank you."
Sokka grinned brightly: Zuko scowled upon realizing he hadn't seen Sokka in such a good mood in… years, at least. Perhaps since around the years of the end of the war…
How, exactly, had Azula brought him to be that happy? Was it Azula at all, or was it Yue? It was much easier to believe it'd be the latter… but the fond smiles between them left an awkward feeling nestling in his gut.
He tried to ignore that sensation as he led his sister into a private sitting room. There'd be no pleasantries, no shared tea… they'd just talk. Hopefully, Sokka and Ursa would know better than to try to eavesdrop as they spoke.
"Well… looks like things are looking up for you," Zuko said, turning towards her with a prominent scowl on his face. Azula raised an eyebrow as she stood across him, arms folded over her chest. "Mom's… defending you without hesitation. I'd never seen her do that."
"It's hard to believe for me too, so you're not alone if you're confused," Azula said.
"I feel like I don't understand any of it," Zuko said, shaking his head and staring at her in confusion. "You're having new hallucinations, visions, whatever they are… and yet you sound more like yourself than you have in ages. You have people standing up for you and defending you to this extent, it's… weird."
"It's quite alright, I don't know how it happened even though I was there the whole time," Azula admitted, with a shrug. "Though… you're not the only one confused about certain things regarding each other. How, exactly, did you find us in Ember Island?"
"Oh. It took us a while to pick up on your trail," Zuko said, bitterly. "My guards eventually sought the Mechanist, he told them he'd given Sokka a hot-air balloon. After that, it was just a matter of waiting for sightings of unregistered, non-military hot-air balloons anywhere. Someone caught sight of you by the western Earth Kingdom, so we traveled there… once the next military sightings report claimed the balloon was sighted landing in Ember Island, I didn't hesitate to go there as soon as possible."
"So, you had all your soldiers looking for me, huh?" Azula said, raising her eyebrows. "I almost feel important and everything now…"
"Yeah, well… sure," Zuko huffed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry that I misunderstood that you'd kidnapped Sokka, but I hope you realize you… you don't make it exactly easy to think any better of you."
"Well, I didn't for all these years, that's certainly true. Do you expect me to throw a tantrum over how you don't trust me, or like me, or treat me with respect?" Azula asked, with a slight smirk. "Though I suppose that last one might be a fair one to protest against, come to think of it…"
"I don't want you to throw anything, I just… I want to understand what exactly is going on," Zuko scowled. "You abandoned your group, you traveled to the north, you're ride-or-die with Sokka suddenly… you have to realize it makes no sense. And after showing up in Ba Sing Se and causing unnecessary trouble…"
"Did you only hear about Ba Sing Se?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow. "That wasn't our first stop, actually. Didn't Suki reach out to you?"
"Was she supposed to?" Zuko asked, frowning.
"That's… odd," Azula blinked blankly. "Here I thought she was that mad at Sokka once they broke up, threatening that she'd only give us one day to leave before alerting everyone that we were there. Maybe she actually had a soft spot for him still. The truth is we went to Kyoshi Island first, they had the break-up of the century, then we left again. That's where I found out that you were hunting for me, dead or alive…"
"I… I'll rescind that order," Zuko said, self-aware and uncomfortable. "I thought… you'd crossed a line. Turned out Sokka joined you willingly, though…"
"There really was no sign that he hadn't done that," Azula pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Zuko winced. "Whichever one of you lot decided I could only have kidnapped him, well… you'd have to give me a smidge of credit after this and admit that at least one weirdo in the world would travel with me willingly rather than dragged into it kicking and screaming."
"We jumped to conclusions and we shouldn't have. But… you do have to admit it looked weird. And like I said, you really…"
"I don't make it easy? No, I don't. Did I say otherwise?" Azula said, with a slight smirk. "I don't pity you at all, Zuzu, you have it pretty damn hard, being my brother. I don't know what you brought me here for, if what you want is an apology you might as well wait forever…"
"You're not sorry for any of what you've done over the last decade?" Zuko asked. Azula winced.
"I… didn't exactly say that," Azula said. "Just said I wouldn't apologize for it."
"So, you're not."
"I'm sorry enough for a lot of things," Azula said, glaring at him. "But… I was vindictive. I was angry, bitter and frustrated and I wanted to hurt you so you'd suffer as much as I was suffering. That's the truth. If you don't like it, that's not my business. I wanted vindication, revenge, what-have-you… and nothing I did actually got me any closer to attaining any of it. So, I failed at my quest to piss you off, and I joined Sokka in a weird journey to please a spirit that only I can see. It's… strange how different it is, living life that way. It wasn't all that comfortable at the start, but it is now. I can't fathom going back to what I was doing before."
"Because Sokka is… more fun?" Zuko asked. Azula shrugged.
"Would it be a problem for you, if that were the sole reason for it?" she asked. Zuko scowled. "Still would mean you're free from being tormented by me…"
"Until you get bored of him," Zuko finished. Azula laughed.
"I'm afraid that's not very likely. He's… a surprisingly resourceful man," Azula said. "Always has something to say that catches me off guard. Like Yue put it once… we're two master strategists in a battlefield of words, somehow. He's far more interesting than you or any of his other friends likely realize…"
"Or maybe you're both just weird in similar ways. Which I'd never have expected, but frankly, his sense of humor is about as strange as yours," Zuko pointed out. Azula laughed.
"I've noticed. I hate laughing at his jokes, but he makes it too easy sometimes," Azula admitted.
"Then… all this stuff about Yue?" Zuko said, eyeing her warily. "Sokka and her were a thing once. You said your entire purpose is to get her to see the world and experience the seasons and so on? I'm not going to say it's a bad purpose, I mean, it's by far the most harmless thing I've ever heard you want to do. But it sounds like a temporary diversion or so. Once she's satisfied, what will you do?"
"I suppose… that's something I'll figure out once we get there," Azula said, with a shrug. "Though if it makes you feel any better, I…"
The words got stuck in her throat at first, and Azula actually smiled a little as something deep inside her seemed to snap. Something she didn't really know nestled inside her broke off, leaving her untethered… forsaken, somehow. Her hand trembled, and she glanced at Yue in the mirror briefly as she processed what a treacherous thought had crossed her mind… a thought she couldn't help but feel keenly, acutely, in her heart. She breathed deeply, and Zuko frowned at the strange sincerity in her voice.
"I actually never imagined I'd come back to the Fire Nation peacefully… and I certainly have no plans of staying here forever."
Zuko's eyes widened. Azula gritted her teeth: those might just have been the most painful words she had ever spoken. She offered Zuko a dry grin then, covering up her vulnerability as best she could.
"So… that," she said. "I think I'd just wait and see what Sokka has in mind. He's weird, sure, but he's the most reliable ally I've ever traveled with. Seems like he wants to stick with me for the foreseeable future too, so…"
"You think he'd stay even after Yue is gone?" Zuko asked. Azula's heart clenched.
"I… hope so," Azula said. "He's said he would, at least."
"Really?" Zuko blinked blankly. "W-wait. Why?"
"Why?" Azula repeated, slightly affronted.
"I'm… not sure I follow," Zuko said, blinking blankly. "You two are, uh… best friends now?"
"Huh. I'm not sure that we are. Which one of them might be my best friend, come to think of it?" Azula said, glancing at Yue in the mirror. She giggled and waved in her direction, and Azula smiled at her.
"Sokka. Say it's Sokka," Zuko said, with a wild grin. Azula crooked an eyebrow.
"What's it to you, exactly…?"
"Toph said weird shit and I would like to confirm that she's wrong about it, is all," Zuko said, bitterly. Azula raised her eyebrows. "She said you'd… seduced Sokka and that's why he was completely wrapped around your finger, basically."
Azula snorted, then cackled by throwing her head back – a slight relief to Zuko, who smiled awkwardly at her reaction.
"Seduced Sokka? She sure gives me too much credit if she thinks I'd have the first clue of how to do such a thing," Azula laughed, shaking her head. "If Sokka fell in love with me, it'd be his fault entirely. I sure as hell did nothing to make it happen, I can guarantee that much."
"Huh. You know, that's not very tranquilizing either," Zuko grimaced. "Sokka's… weird. Suki was too normal for him, I guess…"
"Oh? So you're saying he needed an abnormal kind of partner instead?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows. Zuko winced, raising a hand as though to stop her.
"I didn't mean… I just mean I'm not really sure how Sokka was having a good time by dating her! If anything, I'd think he wasn't. Which is possibly why they broke up."
"Sounds like it," Azula said, stubbornly. "Believe me, if he dated me, I'd give him far more interesting and entertaining reasons to break up with me."
"I'm not sure he'd choose to date you just so you can break up with him by… ugh! Could you not entangle my head with nonsense?" Zuko groaned. Azula smirked. "Look… I get that I can't change you or make you become the perfect sister for me…"
"Do you?" Azula asked, eyeing him skeptically. Zuko frowned. "Worth noting I can't do that to you, either. You're far too set in your ways for you to be my dream brother too."
"You… you'd change me?" Zuko asked, frowning. Azula smirked.
"I just said I wouldn't. But I'm not the one who replaced the two unpalatable members of my family with new, pleasant ones instead," she said. Zuko's eyes widened.
"I… Kiyi isn't a replacement for you! And I'm not even close to Noren…"
"Your little sister who loves and gushes over you isn't a replacement for the one who made your life a nightmare, apparently?" Azula smiled sadly. "As for Noren and father… if you're not close to him, then he's gotten the fundamentals of the job right, wouldn't you say?"
Zuko gritted his teeth: Azula's words hurt… but he couldn't help but notice that Azula, too, was hurt. He didn't usually notice as much… but this time, he raised his gaze to find that she appeared mournful of the fate they were facing as siblings.
"Point is… you haven't been optimal yourself. I've tried, yes, to mess with you and cause you grief… but I never really imagined you'd ever conform to being the brother I'd want you to be. Doesn't seem logical for you to start trying now."
"Why not?" Zuko asked. Azula laughed.
"I'm not challenging you, Dum-Dum. You're so ridiculous when you get like this," she said. "I'm fine, Zuko. I have no… no right to ask anything of you. That's not what this ever was, I… I admit it's pathetic to say it, but I just wanted to matter and I knew I never would if I went about it in any other way. Or, at least, I've never learned how. Point is… I fucked up, purposefully and intentionally. I'm not here to apologize because I don't think you have any real reason to forgive me, no matter if I'll never do it again. If that's what you were waiting for…"
"I… I don't know what I was expecting," Zuko said, frowning. "But probably more along the lines of you admitting that you're only traveling with Sokka out of convenience, and that you don't actually want him around much but he's useful so far…?"
"You really think I can only manipulate my way through life, don't you?" Azula said. "Granted, I know why you think so, but that's not the case. Sokka joined me, Yue roped me into this journey in the first place… the few times I've tried to do anything mischievous in this trip, it hasn't gone all that well. And somehow… they keep me busy enough that I can't really focus on doing anything to trouble you. Which, then, translates to me losing my taste for messing with you."
Zuko sighed, lowering his gaze.
"Would you get that taste back if I'm not paying attention?" he asked. Azula rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. You say that you weren't really trying to do anything that terrible with your actions… but the thing is, you did cause trouble and when it wasn't you, it was them. Your allies."
"Right, but…" Azula said, frowning. "While we certainly destabilized your rule, caused chaos whenever we cared to, we never did anything quite as bad as to truly hamper your efforts to fix the Fire Nation, did we? If anything, I've been a perfect villain for you to show the whole populace just why things need to change, or am I wrong? It was either you or me on that throne, and the more irresponsible behavior I display, the happier they'll be that it's you. Isn't it at least slightly beneficial to you?"
"You're acting like none of what you did had lasting consequences that could harm the nation…" Zuko said, gritting his teeth. "And you know what? Maybe you didn't. Even if you might have tried, maybe you actually showed some restraint I never truly registered as such before, and you never did something that devastating. But them? You have no idea what they did while you were gone, do you?"
Azula frowned. Zuko gritted his teeth, fists tight by his hips.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice unsteady: she had a feeling she knew what Zuko would say, but even so…
"They burned down the asylum."
Silence.
Azula's heart thumped with triumph… and fear.
"Did… did they get them out?" Azula asked. "The other patients, even the staff…"
Zuko's frown spoke for itself. Azula's sinking dread hit square in her gut, and she snarled as she tore her eyes away from him.
"I thought it was your final move," Zuko said. "Your full-blown act of war. By the time we got there, it was too late. Whole place… burned. Fifty-seven casualties. Some, family visitors. Most of them, patients. The rest, staff. Everyone dead… and not by any mistake. No, everyone in the building died because the people responsible for that crime ensured to shut the doors, the windows, every single exit…!"
"You can't be…" Azula snarled: even if she wanted to deny it, she knew she couldn't do it. Zirin… she would have done it. Azula knew as much.
"Everyone in the premises died… and we tracked down the culprits shortly afterwards. That's when I caught Zirin, and when she told me where you were," Zuko said. "They're in the Prison Tower right now. Awaiting their sentences."
"What are you going to…?" Azula asked, glancing at Zuko with uncertainty.
"I don't know," he admitted. "But I'm struggling to figure out how to show them any mercy."
"Zuko, you… you don't understand what the asylum was like," Azula said, staring at him warily. Zuko scowled. "You never were there as a patient…"
"That doesn't justify what they did!"
"I agree!" Azula exclaimed, startling Zuko. "But… they unleashed the pent-up rage and wrath that place stirred inside them. That place, their families, everyone who played a role in putting them there… do you understand what it feels like, being forsaken in a place that constantly demeans you, dehumanizes you, subjects you to every kind of humiliation whenever you try to fight back, and affords you no dignity anyway, even when you don't fight at all? To be treated like a beast more than a person, to be spoken to as though you were some inferior kind of being…!"
"I don't think I get it, no, but it's not like I haven't been through dehumanizing, cruel things myself," Zuko said.
"The difference is the man who subjected you to the worst of yours is rotting in jail. The one who did it to me is standing right in front of me."
Zuko froze. Azula's accusatory glare caught him in an uncomfortable spot, and she shook her head.
"I… I understand why you did it. I'm not stupid. I know you had no time for me, I know you had no idea how to help me, you had a nation to run… but you don't know what it's like to be truly forsaken. Say what you will… you had Iroh. If you didn't have him, you had Mai. You had our mother. I… I had our father? Do you think he would have ever visited me, if he had been free to do so? He would have denounced me as unworthy of being his heir, if anything… imperfect, broken, damaged as I am. And even if I'm wrong… he was in prison. How could he check on me? But it wasn't just him… it was you. Iroh. Mai, Ty Lee… not a single one of you ever thought that reaching out to me while I was locked in that blasted place was a good idea. And you know what that looks like? It looks like you just want me out of the way. Like I was someone else's problem now, not yours. Like you just needed me to stop being a hazard to your goals and maybe then you'll try to be my brother… and that's a big 'maybe' anyhow. And you're none other than the Fire Lord, with all the resources and power at your disposal… and you couldn't even hire personal physicians to look after me in your home. You threw me out to a distant institution… so I wouldn't be a bother. Even if that wasn't your intention, that's what it looked like.
"And that's what they went through, too, with their own families. Every woman who didn't conform, every girl who dared have ideas different to what their relatives wanted them to follow, anyone who didn't behave exactly as they were expected to. Their own families and loved ones did it to them just as you did it to me. They were angry. They hated that place, more than I did even, and that's saying something. It was a glorified prison, where you could be subjected to the worst of alleged treatments only to be told that you hadn't been through enough of it yet and you needed some more still. I probably didn't even get it as bad as the others… I was only there for a year. Point is… it's not that I don't understand your position. I do. But I don't think the answer to what they did is… killing them. All you'd do is add to the catastrophe's death toll."
"They're more than just casualties of an accident: they instigated it. They're dangerous, Azula," Zuko said. Azula shrugged.
"I'm dangerous too," she said. "And in case you forgot? So are you."
Zuko winced. Azula wasn't accusatory, even if she could have been.
"You're not as healthy as you'd like to think you are," Azula said. "You're not okay, Zuzu. Maybe you never have been, to begin with. But as messed up as your choices were… you got out of being locked up in a place like that and then managed to join the winning team before the war ended. You could have very well ended up in a place like the asylum, by Father's orders, if I had brought you back as he wanted me to, at first. As a prisoner."
Zuko shuddered: he didn't want to think of that possibility. But Azula appeared determined to make him do exactly that.
"Would you have shown restraint?" Azula asked, frowning. "If you had been told you were not human, incapable of love, a rare case of madness, an intriguing subject to study… if you had heard them laugh off your misfortunes, talk about how loaded they'd be because you were of the Royal Family and they'd finally fill the institution's coffers that way, thinking you were too badly out of it with the medicine to overhear what they were saying? If they'd forced you to swallow food, herbs, unknown remedies that would make you feel numb and close to death? If they had… had messed up their dosage to the point where they killed someone in the stretcher near yours?"
Zuko flinched: the picture Azula painted for him clearly was taking a toll on him. Azula shook her head.
"I'm not saying Zirin and the others deserve to be forgiven. As much as every bastard working in that place was unforgivable, I had no intentions of killing them if we ever decided on taking revenge. Zirin made me design a revenge strategy, you see… I did it, and she kept asking for more violence. For a stronger revenge than just sabotaging the place or burning it once everyone was out safely. I refused to do it, I constantly told her we wouldn't make any moves on the asylum until we could get all the remaining patients out safely…"
"And she never listened," Zuko finished. Azula gritted her teeth.
"I was the leader. She listened solely because of that. It's no surprise that the first thing she did, once I wasn't there to keep an eye on her, was destroying that place recklessly."
"You would have saved the other patients?" Zuko asked. "Granted, the most dangerous ones would have been the ones you brought with you, but…"
"That's not necessarily true," Azula said. Zuko frowned. "You don't understand, do you? We were the family pests that nobody wanted to deal with. I had hallucinations? No doubt. But half of them had no conditions of any kind. I don't know how many people were admitted in the asylum without being mentally ill or disturbed in any way to begin with. It felt like… like they force-fed them alleged medicine that caused unwanted, unacceptable behaviors in people, just to justify keeping them there. That's what that place was like. That's why I'm not sorry to learn it was destroyed… and that's why I can't help but be furious that Zirin would decide not to save anyone who still could be helped."
"Would you have saved them?" Zuko asked. Azula shrugged.
"I tried when I broke out my allies in the first place," she said. Zuko's eyes widened. "I offered them the chance to leave. Over half the patients were too scared to try. They wanted to stay because they hoped… maybe by putting up with all of it, they'd get to go home one day. I won't pretend any of them trusted me, no doubt several must have thought I was more dangerous than the asylum staff and that must be why they didn't join me… but I never thought they should have died the way you say they did. They were no different from the rest of us."
Azula scowled: that this would afflict her quite so strongly came as a surprise to her, too. Initially, she had told Zirin they wouldn't destroy the asylum altogether because it would be deemed an act of war. Their team didn't need that kind of publicity, most of all when they were about to begin their act as the Kemurikage. But then she asked again, and again, and again… Azula didn't overlook the extent of the damage Zirin had suffered, but their group couldn't afford, couldn't field, a mission quite so dangerous. Zuko was never going to let that one go… just as he didn't. Massively murdering everyone in that building was not a laughing matter: Azula had asked Zirin if she was ready to pay the price for that destruction, and Zirin never failed to scoff at her sentimentality. Only practicality had kept her at bay for some time: they'd get too much attention otherwise, they couldn't afford that. But now… now, after putting so much distance between herself and that place, after seeing the world through different eyes, Azula's heart grieved for the people who weren't saved. She snarled, fists tight.
"Are you going to execute them?" she asked. Zuko sighed.
"I don't know. Maybe not," he said. Azula glanced at him in confusion. "But you have to understand this kind of chaos cannot go unpunished."
"I don't disagree. I just… don't know if I want you to kill them for it," Azula admitted. Zuko sighed, shaking his head.
"I don't even know what I'd do anymore. When I captured them, I was ready to do something final. Right now… I don't know," Zuko admitted. "Truthfully, I don't want them in prison. The Boiling Rock might sound like the best choice, going forward, but… it's not, is it? They could escape just as well, set it on fire, kill everyone there…"
"They'll always be a hazard, is what you're thinking," Azula said. Zuko shrugged.
"You don't expect that to be different now just because I caught them, do you?" he asked. "The only way they won't cause chaos is if I keep them contained, chi-blocked, fully restrained…"
"And then you'll just give them further reason to cause chaos as soon as there's any weakness, any leniency for them," Azula said. Zuko frowned. "That's the thing about hurting people, holding them against their will… it tends to breed resentment and grudges strong enough to last a lifetime. You wouldn't ask anyone who was a prisoner of war to forgive our father for what he did to them, would you?"
"It's different," Zuko said.
"Not where the imprisoned person is standing, it's not," Azula said. "The way they see it, you're complicit in the hell we faced in the asylum. You even left your own inconvenient relative there, too. They'd see it as no reason to change their ways."
"And yet you want me to believe you did change yorus?" Zuko asked. Azula shrugged, raising the mirror in his direction.
"Not that I was looking to change in any way, I certainly didn't care to at first. Took well over a year for Yue's influence to start gaining ground on me," Azula said, glancing at the mirror. Yue smiled wistfully. "But… I think the main thing that helped was having something in common, a goal that all three of us were striving for. We had to work together, and that meant each other's struggles and problems were everyone's concern. I don't know how anything like that could be achieved with Zirin."
"You could talk to her," Zuko said, simply. Azula sighed.
"You'd let me?" she asked. "I wouldn't even know what to say."
"Tell her you're not doing any of your destabilizing efforts anymore," Zuko said. "Tell her you're done with that, and that she'd better be done too unless she wants to deal with…"
"Then… heh. You want me to control her with fear?"
Zuko froze. Azula eyed him with a compassionate smile that turned mirthful shortly.
"As far as my personal experiences go, controlling others with fear can be terribly effective until it's not. People have ways of finding more courage than they ever held inside their hearts and turn on you when you don't expect it," Azula said. "Sounds easy enough at first… but it means you'll most likely end up living in fear your whole life, too. Can't advise it if you don't want to face more hardships than you'd be comfortable with."
Zuko snarled. He knew Azula was making sense, perhaps too much of it. He sighed, covering his face with his hand before shaking his head.
"What's your idea, then?" he asked. "What would you do to fix this?"
"Why are you asking me?" Azula said.
"Because you're making too much sense, so maybe you know how to make this better," Zuko asked. Azula grimaced. "What made you change was… Sokka and Yue? How do we give your allies anything of the sort?"
"You can't force something like that," Azula warned him. Zuko scoffed. "I mean it. They'd be more likely to set an olive branch on fire than to ever accept it smoothly if you hand it to them with the obvious intent of making them change and adapt to a life they don't care to live. If you'd personally showed up in front of me and entrusted me with Yue, somehow, I would have never listened to a single word she said, let alone would I have treated Sokka as anything but a would-be jailor following me everywhere. You had nothing to do with that, hence why I had a much easier time learning to… trust them."
"Then what do we do?" Zuko huffed. "I don't think keeping them in jail forever is going to be fine, or that they'd even stay there forever, they're likely to find a way to escape. Right now? I think… I think they're waiting for you."
"They expect me to break them out," Azula concluded.
"They wouldn't take it well if you show up as newly pardoned and allowed to be part of the family again, though, would they?" Zuko asked. Azula scoffed.
"But I'm not those things… am I?" Azula stared at him skeptically. Zuko winced.
"I… I guess it remains to be seen," he admitted. "But the point is, if I'm the one sending you… they're not going to take it well."
"They'd take it far worse if I pretend not to be your ally and it's inevitably discovered that I was talking to them by your command," Azula pointed out. Zuko sighed.
"Is there no solution to this damn madness?" he asked. "I don't even know what I was expecting from you, but it definitely wasn't… that you couldn't help me deal with them."
"I don't know that I can. But what, exactly, did you hope for me to accomplish?" Azula inquired, crooking an eyebrow. Zuko sighed.
"I don't even know. Talk things over with them. You understand what they did. Say… that I won't execute them for the asylum, even though a lot of people are demanding that I do. Say that I won't take it that far, and I mean it. What you've explained is… alarming. I don't know why I never thought…"
"You had no time for it. It's not really a defense… just a fact," Azula said. "Besides, you had very little cause for concern, right? I'm the problem and if someone's causing chaos, it's most likely me rather than my captor – or, rather, the physician attempting to control my every move…"
"Did they… make it worse?" Zuko asked. Azula frowned. "I mean, whether for you or the others. Your breakdown… was it a sign of something bigger, deeper, or did they just take advantage of my belief that it was, when it wasn't?"
"That's hard to say," Azula admitted. "I don't have the most accurate memories, frankly, when it comes to what happened. But it's possible, yes, that they weren't trying to help anyone heal. I'm not sure if it takes a year to recover from what I went through, but their grand treatments typically only made my mind more chaotic, and their therapy attempts didn't help matters either. They convinced me of… of the worst things I believed of myself, I suppose. I'm only realizing that they might have been wrong now."
"Then… could you talk to them from that angle?" Zuko asked. Azula raised an eyebrow. "Tell them the truth about what they did, and whatever they convinced them of. Make them understand that… well, the point should have never been to treat anyone interned in the asylum as a criminal. You're not undesirables in society… you were people who needed help, not to be tossed aside. And I… I did exactly that to you."
Azula frowned: it wasn't every day that Zuko seemed so torn up about whatever mistakes he had made… more so, when those mistakes concerned her. Azula waited patiently as he composed himself, and he raised his gaze towards her.
"I don't know where we'll go after this. I don't know what to offer you. I can't make up for my mistakes," he said. "But… I can try to break the cycle. To stop treating you as I have. To… to be a better brother, even if I barely know where to start with that."
"You'll have to figure that one out yourself. I have no expectations and no demands," Azula said. "But I do believe I should clarify one thing, Zuzu… I already said it earlier, but I'll say it again: I'm not back to stay."
Zuko eyed her with uncertainty upon hearing those words anew. Azula swallowed hard.
"Maybe I will do that one day, I don't know, but… I haven't finished my duties to Yue. And once I do, I might still not end up here again later anyhow," Azula said.
"You say that, but going to the Earth Kingdom would be very dangerous for you," Zuko said. "The manhunt for you in the Fire Nation will end, but…"
"And that's good to know, but I might not need to stay here forever even so," Azula shrugged. Zuko's eyes widened. "Did you hope I would?"
"Well… after what you've said, I figured you might go on the road for a while longer. But this is your home, isn't it?" he asked. Azula smiled.
"Did it still feel that way, once you returned from your banishment? I was under the impression it didn't," she pointed out. Zuko gritted his teeth, fists tight.
"If that's how you feel right now, well… it's bound to be my fault. But that was never my intent," Zuko said. "If I can…"
"I don't know that you can, and I don't know that you should have to," Azula said, shaking her head. "We're having a productive conversation right now, and you're finally listening to me, which I appreciate a lot, Zuzu… but I don't think this should be for the sake of ensuring that I stay at your beck and call constantly. If you've been running this nation without my help, you can carry on doing it too. If you want my aid, it's still up to me to decide that I'll give it. But for now… life has enough things left to offer me, even though I figured it didn't. If all signs point to the Fire Nation, I'll come back, but… I'm enjoying everything else far more than I thought I would."
"Dad would be cross if he knew that. Which is always a good thing," Zuko said. Azula smiled a little.
"You never really did get to see the world just for the sake of it," Azula said. Zuko shrugged. "You were on a mission, and just surviving eventually… but you didn't see the Earth Kingdom or the Water Tribes for what they were, with no pressures. I suppose… I recommend it. Maybe you'll want to abdicate by then, though I'm not sure who you'd hand the throne to if you did. I… I really don't want it."
She said the words casually… but a stronger smile spread over her face after she did. A soft laugh left her lips and she smiled brightly. Zuko's heart clenched at the sight of it… of such clarity and certainty in his usually troubled sister's visage.
"I don't want to be Fire Lord," Azula said, closing her eyes. "And that's probably the most liberating thing I've ever come to realize."
Zuko nodded, accepting her decision: it was different than him claiming she'd never take the title for herself. Azula had reached that point without him pushing her to it, even if not necessarily by herself… it wasn't a struggle anymore. It wasn't some chaotic, unnerving conflict. Azula didn't want the throne… she finally had accepted that. Zuko would be free from the chaos she could unleash with her antics until something else inevitably rose to take her place.
He just hoped it wouldn't be Zirin.
"Alright. That's… good to know. But… can I ask you to talk to them, then? To your old allies? At least, to Zirin?" he said. Azula's smile waned… but she shrugged.
"Might as well try. Though I don't think the outcome is going to be any more positive than it would have been if you'd tried this approach with me a year ago," Azula said. Zuko nodded.
"I'll try to brace myself for it. Azula… thank you," he said. The Princess smiled as she rose to her full height.
"For finally giving you a break? I'll find some other way to make you lose your temper, Zuko, don't you worry about that," Azula smirked.
"Heh. I won't lower my guard a lot, then," Zuko said. "Look… maybe I should've said something else first. I just… I wasn't ready to accept I've failed you in more ways than I thought. As far as I could tell, you were a problem indeed, you were someone I had to keep at a distance because you'd only ever hurt me…"
"And I was," Azula acknowledged, with a shrug.
"You weren't," Zuko countered. Azula scoffed. "You were my sister. And I never really thought about what that actually meant until… until I realized you had a whole group of people who had found your value and were helping you shine, and I wasn't one of them. It's not that I feel like I have to be there too… but it feels like I failed you anyway. Like maybe you could have reached this stage if I had tried a little harder… if I had been there for you in ways I wasn't. I kept seeing you as an enemy to defeat, no matter if I already had this crown on my head and… and I was wrong to do that. I can't help but think your life might have been a lot different if I had been less impulsive and stupid over some things. I'm… I'm sorry, Azula. I'm really sorry."
Azula's heart clenched, her throat thickening with tears that seemed to bloom out of nowhere. That wasn't what she had expected from Zuko… wasn't what she would have demanded from him, either. He didn't have to apologize to her… but he had. It was difficult to know what to say to that… though perhaps, it wasn't all that different from how she had responded to Yue, upon hearing her say she loved her.
She hadn't intended to say the words at all, regardless of how she felt. She hadn't thought they'd change anything… but regardless of her reasoning, her instincts pushed her to speak unlikely words to her brother all the same:
"I'm sorry too," Azula whispered, at last. Zuko gazed at her in astounded silence. "I did a lot of things just to make you suffer, I won't sugarcoat that. I wasn't ready to reason with what was going on in my own head, and I took it out on you. Before all this, well, yes, I certainly teased you a lot and I did hunt you down under Father's orders…"
"You don't have to apologize for that," Zuko admitted, with a small grin. Azula raised an eyebrow. "Well, we were kids. It looks a lot simpler now than it did before. I just couldn't seem to make sense of it back then… I was more troubled than I thought, too. Maybe I still am… but I'll try to reason with myself a little more than I always do. Without just… thinking everything's someone else's fault, every time."
"That'd be a good life choice," Azula said, with a slight grin.
Zuko sighed, stepping towards the doorway as Azula glanced down at the mirror: Yue smiled giddily, no doubt thrilled over having witnessed what appeared to be an unexpected reconciliation between Azula and her brother. The Fire Nation Princess smirked a little, shaking her head at her friend's excitement.
"Well, then… ready to go see Zirin?" Zuko asked.
Azula's heart clenched again… but she nodded, steeling herself for a reunion that promised to be a lot more chaotic and unpleasant than this one had turned out to be.
__________________________________
Prison Tower wasn't meant to be a friendly place. Azula's heart clenched as she approached it about an hour later, a foreboding feeling lingering in her heart: her father was there, but she wasn't here to see him today. Maybe one day she would be ready to face him… but the way her mother had explained her own visits to Ozai, it sounded like Azula wasn't remotely prepared to meet her father yet. He had expectations of her that she hadn't fulfilled… and that she never would.
She didn't really know what her future would look like, but she clenched her mirror tightly and let herself bask in the peace, the freedom, of knowing she would no longer serve the purposes that had damn near destroyed her. At the very least, Yue had died but succeeded at saving her people by doing so: Azula's sacrifices had amounted to nothing. Her vindictiveness had achieved nothing, too. She was tired… and ready to move on, now that she finally had a chance to imagine a future, vague and confusing as it might be, by Sokka's side…
Who, of course, stood right beside her at the moment, arms folded over his chest as he frowned at the prison ahead.
"You really had to come?" Zuko asked him, an eyebrow twitching. "You could have stayed with my mom…"
"You could have stayed with her too," Sokka scoffed. Zuko gritted his teeth and glared at him.
"I'm the Fire Lord! Azula can't talk to Zirin if I'm not here to authorize it!" he said. Sokka pouted.
"Then you'll have to put up with me being here too, nothing more to it," he said.
Azula smiled as they marched into the tower: Sokka's devotion to her hardly seemed real most times, and yet she knew it was. She had a baseline as to what his lies looked like, and it certainly wasn't the confident, strong front he was showing Zuko right now.
"You okay? Ready for this?" Sokka asked her, once Zuko took to speaking with the warden, who appeared alarmed to see Azula as a visitor rather than another prisoner.
"I doubt it," Azula admitted. "You didn't have to come, Zuko isn't wrong about that… but I'm glad you did."
"Oh. Uh, heh," Sokka smiled, cheeks flushing slightly as he ran a hand over his hair. "I'm glad you're glad! Though, you know, if you need anything…"
"I'd reach out, but… I don't know if I will be able to do it," Azula said, frowning sternly again. "You'll be right outside?"
"Yeah. And you can handle this Zirin, right?" Sokka asked. Azula shrugged.
"I'd better. She's usually not enough of a bender to be a cause for concern for me, I'd dare say," Azula mused, frowning slightly. Sokka smiled and nodded.
"You're the strongest firebender there is, after all. Nothing she can do should faze you… but in case it does, I'll stay nearby and even cheer you on."
"Well, I've never really fought with a supportive audience like that, but fair enough," Azula said. "Besides… we shouldn't need to fight at all. It's… a conversation."
She said the words while knowing they weren't entirely true: Zirin would make this a battlefield if she had reason to. And if Azula told her what Zuko would expect her to? It might just be a guarantee that they'd wind up in conflict indeed.
The warden led them to the room where Zirin had been brought moments before they arrived. Zuko and Sokka remained tense by the door, and Azula breathed deeply as she readied herself to enter…
"Good luck," Sokka whispered.
"If you need any help, let us know," Zuko said, frowning. "You don't have to face her alone."
"I'm not sure about that last thing… and I'll try not to make it come to the first thing, too," Azula said.
She stepped between them: she gripped Sokka's hand gently as she passed beside him before pushing the door open. Sokka gritted his teeth, gazing after her hopelessly, his anguish increasing once the door closed, leaving Azula alone with her previous second-in-command.
Zirin sat in a slovenly position on a chair, in the center of the room. She appeared to have been bound to it. Azula frowned as she stopped before her… and Zirin scowled as she raised her gaze, gradually astounded upon realizing this wasn't just another visit by Fire Lord Zuko.
"You… you're back," Zirin said, a spark of hope in her gaze… one that went away quickly, replaced by distrust. "How? Who the hell allowed you to visit me officially? Or did you kill your brother and took his appointment instead?"
"I didn't do that," Azula said. Zirin scoffed.
"Of course not. You don't have the spine for it. Had the spine to get rid of your inconvenient friend yet, or was that too much to ask too?" Zirin asked, spitefully. "You were gone long enough. I thought… did it work? Are you yourself again, or…?"
"It didn't," Azula said. Zirin snarled. "She's still with me. Nothing has worked so far… and I don't think anything has to, either."
"Oh, right, so you're just going to keep botching up operations and messing up our objectives by being completely swept up by stupid arguments with the damn girl in your reflection?" Zirin asked. "You're unbelievable."
"I have no intentions of letting that happen because… there will be no more operations or objectives for us," Azula said. Zirin froze. "Which is your fault in no small part. If you hadn't gotten caught, the whole lot of you could have gone on to cause chaos without me. Begs the question of why you were so eager to be the leader when you botched it up so badly as soon as I was out of the way. Isn't that what you were always looking forward to? Isn't it exactly what you wanted?"
"I…!" Zirin snarled, shaking her head. "What's it to you, what I wanted? You…! You kept us chained down, locked to your whims! You saved us and broke us out of that hellhole, and we owed you because of that…!"
"The hellhole you finally burned to the ground, or so I hear," Azula said: Zirin had the gall to smirk. "With all the remaining patients still inside."
"They were as bad as the physicians," Zirin said, shrugging. "Content to live in their chains, emboldening them to do it to others, like us. Don't like it? Not my problem. They got what they deserved."
Azula scowled. Zirin's demeanor didn't change for it.
"I've prided myself in being a terrible person, you know?" Azula said. "In not particularly caring who I hurt and who I didn't… but I guess I overestimated myself. Compared to you, apparently I still have boundaries and sense…"
"You mean you're a coward. Spineless and weak when you should take action… always been in your damn brother's pocket even when you acted like you weren't," Zirin hissed. "Did he offer to pardon you because you weren't part of the destruction, maybe? Might have offered you the chance to execute us by your own hand too. Was that why you were allowed to come here?"
"I'm here… as your final salvation," Azula said. Zirin snorted in disbelief. "If you won't listen to me, if you won't forsake what you're doing, the way I did…"
"Ha! You're done, then? All done destabilizing the Fire Lord's pathetic rule?" Zirin cackled. "You're quitting now? And why's that, exactly?! Who's caught your leash now, Azula? Who's pulling at it?!"
"I don't have one anymore. You, on the other hand…" Azula said. Zirin laughed, shaking her head.
"Don't give me that. I'm no one's beast," Zirin said, her eyes growing colder as all mirth fled from her face as quickly as it arrived. "What was it? The Fire Lord…? Nah, you'd need a stronger incentive than that. Maybe… heh. The pest in your reflection? Is that who?"
"Shut up," Azula hissed impulsively: Zirin laughed again.
"Controlled by that thing, just as you were by your mother. Funny," Zirin said, coldly again. "You're so weak. So spineless…"
"I have more than enough strength and spine to stand here and see you for what you are," Azula snapped. Zirin raised her eyebrows.
"And what's that?" she asked.
Azula breathed deeply, glaring into Zirin's dark eyes… before giving her an answer:
"A lost, helpless, desperate fool looking for purpose and drive and finding none," Azula said. Zirin scoffed. "You've convinced yourself that destroying the asylum was the right choice but it wasn't: all you achieved was proving them right in fearing you… in wanting you out of their way. You've never imagined a way out, a chance to become something different, to start anew elsewhere. You don't even know the value of that kind of opportunity… because no one has ever granted it to you."
"And someone granted it to you?" Zirin asked, derisively. Azula gritted her teeth. "What? Pfft. Your brother?"
"It's not him," Azula said, gripping the mirror in her pocket. "It's someone I never thought would have any manner of compassion for me and yet he did. So…"
"Ah, don't tell me… you found a boyfriend," Zirin said. "No doubt you're thrilled, what you always wanted…"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Azula scoffed.
"You're so sad and anguished by loneliness, aren't you? I guess you're clinging to the first moron who overlooked… well, all the crazy shit and just latched onto how pretty you were?" Zirin asked, with a sarcastic smile. Azula smirked.
"If that would make you feel any better, go on ahead and believe that. But he's… he wasn't part of this because of me. Not at first. We haven't been journeying together just because he's craving me. He's the one who's helping me fix what's wrong with Yue…"
"And you love him, do you?" Zirin smirked. "Well, wait a few months after the novelty wears off and see how he likes you once you become the harpy that screams at him over anything and everything, just as it goes in all fucked-up marriages. You can't exactly expect to do better than that, can you? Either way… this is stupid. Someone who caved in to something as pathetic as falling for some stupid guy, lecturing me on what to do with my life…"
"I've said I'm your last chance at something better than staying locked inside this building for however long you have left to live," Azula said. Zirin rolled her eyes. "Zuko will kill you if no one stops him. Is that what you want?"
"I want the old Azula back. The one who would break us out of here in a heartbeat," Zirin snapped.
"Oh, you mean the one who laughed when she heard you'd gotten yourselves locked up in jail?" Azula smirked. Zirin tensed up. "I did exactly that, you know? I thought it was a beautiful irony: so much badgering me and pestering me about how you were such a better leader, all your plotting, all your talk behind my back… and you were an even bigger failure than I ever was, in the end. Funny how that works, isn't it?"
"Shut up," Zirin snarled. Azula glared at her coldly.
"That's the Azula you were asking for, though. The one who would walk away and let you get crushed under my brother's boot out of vindictiveness alone," she continued. "I'm here to tell you to turn over a new leaf and set aside your intent, or you're only going to continue paying the price for it. And I won't be paying it with you."
"So that's it, then? You're forsaking me and running off with… with that fool in your head, with the idiot who somehow wants to date you or whatever?" Zirin scoffed.
"I wouldn't be forsaking anything… provided you and the others agree to stop, for good," Azula said. "Zuko is an idiot in many ways, and he didn't truly understand the gravity of what happened in that place. What you did to the other patients is unforgivable, Zirin… were the circumstances any different, I would be advocating for your death myself. But I know why you did it… I just cannot accept that you found no way to spare them. Even so, you can rot in this cell forever or you can make something of yourself…"
"Something to aid this wretched nation?" Zirin asked. "I'd pick the pyre."
"Really?" Azula asked. Zirin scoffed.
"The Fire Nation should go down in flames… and I don't care for it to be reborn from its ashes," she hissed. "You, your accursed family… you all just prove there's no saving this nation. And maybe I'm the one who can do it… by laying waste upon it all. That… that's my fate. There was no Phoenix King, in the end… but I could be the Queen."
"The fuck are you…?" Azula frowned, but she froze: she had seen that look on Zirin's face before.
It was a sudden burst of vacancy that preceded a storm.
The reason why she had been sent to the asylum in the first place.
"Zirin. Zirin!" Azula called her, stepping closer to the woman. "Snap back here! Zirin!"
She was tempted to slap her, but she held back out of knowing that violence might just unleash the very worst of reactions from the firebender even faster than Zirin intended: heat began rising within the room, and Zirin continued not to react… but something seemed to be instants away from boiling over inside her. It was as though she had grown comatose… focusing her power so much that every shred of her energy would become firebending.
"Zirin!" Azula snapped. "I will do it! I will chi-block you!"
It was the only way in which she had been stopped once, when she had withdrawn into that state at night, setting their campsite on fire as a consequence. The others had hidden away from Zirin, and only Azula had reduced her. She had spent hours writhing furiously afterwards, sputtering flames out of her throat all the same…
But this time, Zirin was faster.
This time, Azula raised her hand to stop her just as Zirin screamed.
A violent burst of flames caught Azula just as she had been about to prevent it from rushing out: she was flung back, falling hard against the closed door, as the flames pouring over Zirin's body, charring at her skin, burned and melted the chains and restraints, destroying the chair where she had been perched…
She stood up, fire still alight over her body. Azula snarled, rubbing her back as she felt the door shifting behind her.
"Azula?! Azula! What's going on?! Azula?!" Sokka's voice reached her, and Azula snarled as she pushed herself away from the door.
"YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME! THERE WON'T EVEN BE ASHES LEFT WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU!" Zirin shrieked: her hand rose towards Azula, and she leveled a new firebending blast in her direction.
Azula snarled: the door swung open violently once her weight no longer kept it shut, for Sokka shoved it. He had a perfect view of how his princess caught an onslaught of pouring flames in one hand, brandishing it in her control, stealing it from the woman before her…
How? How was Zirin unleashing that kind of power? The room was as good as an inferno, one that Azula was restraining with every ounce of her strength…
Her left leg was unsteady.
There was something dark trickling down her trousers.
"Azula!" Sokka roared.
"GET BACK!" Azula rebuffed, building her power over the flames and wrestling them out of Zirin's control.
This wasn't new, even if it was far more potent than whenever it had happened during their previous mishaps on the road: Zirin's firebending was a threat to anyone around her, even herself. Long ago, Zirin had learned to channel her body's energy in ways completely unknown to Azula until then, as good as shutting down as she gathered her energy in a single point. Even her heart would stop beating for that small moment… and then everything would bloom again, unleashing from her body as an explosion, a storm of flames for which her body was the conduit.
It was more akin to a phoenix than anything Ozai had been. Zirin died for a blink of a moment only to return shrouded by flames. She had hurt herself with her own fire with these stunts in the past, destroyed her childhood home, she had always been restrained with chi-blocking when she had dared do it in the asylum… and chi-blocking was how Azula would keep her in check whenever Zirin's temper got the better of her while they were part of the same group.
She had surely used that technique to lay waste upon the asylum. She had gathered her power and unleashed all of it in one violent, suspended burst that would last for as long as she could sustain it.
And now, Azula struggled against the onslaught of fire that Zirin unleashed through her throat, her body seemingly burning alive as she unleashed her flames into the small room.
She couldn't scream forever, Sokka counted on that: he stood beside Azula, behind her, worried about the wound she had most likely sustained in her left leg… then, Zirin finally slowed her outburst, even as sparks poured from her closed mouth.
"Had enough yet?!" Azula roared: the room turned blue, as Azula brandished Zirin's remaining flames…
She could very well return them at her former ally.
But she didn't do it.
The fire diminished in size and strength, stifled gradually by Azula's expert bending: Zirin laughed, though, raising a hand menacingly.
"You will pay for all your broken promises!" Zirin shouted. "Your cursed family… I will destroy it at all costs! You… the Fire Lord!"
Azula had never understood Zirin's particular hatred towards Zuko: her brother hadn't even entered the room, but Zirin knew he was out there, somewhere. That, alone, would suffice to motivate her into destroying him at once.
She geared up to roar again, and Azula tensed up…
Her left leg buckled.
She gasped: why had she lost her grip? Why had she…?
She reached down to touch it, and only then did she realize her thigh hurt: blood. Her hand was stained with blood.
She shuddered at the sight of it, failing to understand the implications, only realizing now that there was something painfully imbedded in her skin. She couldn't rise back up. She couldn't stand. She couldn't…
Zirin unleashed a new burst of flames.
Azula wouldn't be fast enough to stop them.
A projectile flew violently through the flames, spinning fast in the direction where Zirin stood... but Azula didn't see it strike her.
She couldn't, for she was wrapped in protective arms as the remaining flames of that inferno fell upon the back of the person holding her.
Sokka cried out in pain as the flames charred his body: Azula yelped…
And just as suddenly as it had arisen, the fire extinguished.
"Sokka! Sokka, why would you…?!" Azula gasped, struggling to push herself back upright: Sokka weighed heavily on her, and he snarled with pain under the damage he had sustained. "Sokka!"
"Azula!" Zuko's voice reached them: the Princess turned towards him in anguish, seeing he had retrieved help, but not fast enough to stop Zirin from hurting Sokka.
Zuko's eyes widened at the sight of Sokka's burnt back: his shirt's back had been charred, leaving solely blackened fabric at the edges of the hole across the extension of his spine. Redness underneath betrayed that he had sustained a strong burn… even if the person bending the flames that had hurt him now lay unconscious, bleeding from the forehead.
Sokka's boomerang had spun awkwardly back to him, landing a few steps away, after he struck Zirin down before she could destroy the room, the Prison Tower, everything around them.
"Help…" Azula gasped, gripping Sokka firmly. She looked to Zuko with vulnerability most unlike her… uttering a word she most likely had never spoken to him. "Zuko…!"
The Fire Lord frowned with determination: he gave orders to his soldiers, and he stepped up to take charge of the situation. The guilt inside his chest would be resolved later: for now, Zirin would be contained anew, and Sokka and Azula would be taken to safety.
____________________________________
Sokka sighed, smiling sadly at Azula as she sat by his bedside, her brow furrowed:
The shards of the mirror nestled in a pouch, in her hand.
The mirror had broken against the door in the impact when she had been flung back with Zirin's initial outburst. She hadn't realized it, at first. She hadn't wanted to believe it was true, either, when she understood that her first gift by Sokka had been destroyed by Zirin's attack.
"I know she can show up elsewhere, I do, but… this sucks," Azula huffed, shaking her head and setting the mirror aside, trying to ignore her bandaged thigh. The damage hadn't been that deep, certainly not enough to endanger her, but she wasn't supposed to move around much for the next few days while her body amended the damage.
"We'll get you a new mirror. A prettier one," Sokka said. "One more suitable for you."
"That one was fine," Azula said, sighing as she set the pouch down on Sokka's nightstand. "But I shouldn't complain. You… you matter more than a broken mirror."
"Do I?" Sokka smirked. Azula scoffed. "What?"
"Are you really going to twist my concern for you into some weird flirting or something…?" Azula asked. Sokka laughed, nodding awkwardly as he lay on his back, head turned towards her. Azula scoffed, amused nonetheless. "You're so ridiculous."
"You like that I am, though," he said. Azula lowered her gaze.
"You know… Zuko once did what you just did, too. For your sister," Azula said. Sokka's smile waned slightly. "I was the one on the offensive that time. It's rare enough that I was the one trying to defend others this time… that I was the target of someone out of control, rather than being the one who was out of control or out of line. But it's weirder still that someone would jump into the fire for me."
She raised her gaze towards him, and Sokka smiled a little. Azula shook her head.
"No laughing matter. No smiling matter, either. You could have been burned far worse than you were. It's fortunate that they think you'll recover safely," Azula said. Sokka scoffed.
"Your fire's definitely stronger than hers," he said. Azula rolled her eyes, though she smiled a little. "You overestimated her strength."
"I'm quite sure I did no such thing," Azula said, shaking her head and reaching out a hand to stroke his hair gently. Sokka grinned giddily. "You didn't have to do that, is my point."
"Azula… I love you," Sokka said, earnestly. Her heart jolted to hear the words from his lips again. "I'm sorry to say that's what love means to me. Maybe you don't like it… but I'm going to jump into the fire for you. I'm going to stand between you and any knife that comes your way. If I get hurt… well, it's fine if you won't be."
"That's… you're an idiot," Azula said, frowning. Sokka shrugged.
"Most people think so too…"
"Well, most of them are wrong because they're saying it for the wrong reasons," Azula said. Sokka snorted. "You… you can't go around pretending your life and your safety matter less than that of everyone you care about."
"So… am I supposed to protect myself instead?" Sokka asked, puzzled. Azula gritted her teeth…
A most confusing, surprising epiphany hit her as consequence of his question. Sokka appeared to await an answer… and she was surprised to find she actually had one:
"You're supposed to fight by my side," Azula decided. Sokka's eyes widened. "We're… we're a team. Successful strategies don't require the sacrifice of your own allies. If you need to discard them as you progress towards your goal, you're probably not that good a strategist. More capable and able-bodied allies mean you have more resources at your disposal. It's simple and obvious."
"Heh. So… a practical, reasonable point of view encourages you to believe that I shouldn't jump into danger," Sokka smirked. "You know what? That's exactly why I like you. Love to hear it."
Azula smirked back at him, shaking her head: she couldn't help but grow fonder of him for that reaction. She suspected anyone lesser would have been cross with her for responding with practicality rather than sentimentality after a sacrifice that great… but not Sokka. They certainly saw eye to eye when it came to strategic matters, if nothing else.
"The next time we're in danger, if we are… and we most likely will be, considering who I am, and what your luck in life has been like," Azula pointed out, to Sokka's amusement. "Please… work with me. Don't jump into danger that way. It… it means a lot, that you would. But I'm not exactly eager to lose you. It was good thinking to knock Zirin out with your boomerang, you sure threw it hard for it to cut across her fire that way…"
"Well, these muscles aren't just for show," Sokka said, tightening his biceps to her amusement. Azula laughed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "See? See?"
"Dork," Azula smiled. He snickered proudly. "I'm grateful anyway. Just… don't do that again, will you?"
"I'll try not to," Sokka smiled warmly, reaching up to clasp her hand, pressing a soft kiss to her palm.
The tingling feeling of being treasured by someone to the point where he might sacrifice himself for her sake hadn't receded. It almost brought her to tears. Her throat tightened as she pondered it, as she realized that perhaps love did look a little bit like what Sokka had described for her before, even if it shouldn't be as self-sacrificial as that…
She leaned closer to him on his bed, pressing her lips to his cheek. Sokka grinned mischievously at the feeling.
"That's nice…" he said.
"You do realize… that we're not going to sleep together until your back recovers?"
"What?!"
Sokka yelped, and Azula laughed at his extreme reaction: he even seemed to rise from the bed, and she had to reel him in so he'd stop being so careless.
"Come on, you won't be able to lie on your back…"
"Well, I won't lie on it. I don't need to. You'll have to put up with being under me more often!" Sokka pouted.
"You really are that eager to get back to it, are you?" Azula smiled, stroking his hair and kissing his cheek again. Sokka groaned needily.
"When you're being this nice, it's hard to help it," he said. "C'mon, I could just lie on top and even as we sleep, I'll just rest on, uh, the best pillow in the world…"
"You like my breasts far too much for your own good," Azula said: Sokka smiled wildly, glancing at her chest even if her clothes covered her bosom fully.
"What's not to like?" he said. "You're delightful. And delicious, too."
"I'm… ugh, you don't have to be so crude, Sokka," Azula blushed, shaking her head as she pushed him slightly on his mattress. Sokka snorted at her remark.
"If it disgusts you so much, why are you climbing up here right after I said something stupid?" he asked: Azula was halfway on the mattress by then, and she shot him a fierce glare.
"Because I… had already meant to do this before you started being embarrassing," she huffed, lying down fully beside him. Sokka giggled, and Azula rolled her eyes before reaching towards him. "Come here, you annoying jerk, you…"
"Woah, wait…!"
His request was not heeded: thus, before he knew it, Sokka was left to lie his head down happily, comfortably, atop Azula's chest.
"I hope this will help you recover. At least, might brighten your spirits," Azula said, unsure of why she felt bashful after what she'd done. Sokka, of course, beamed with delight.
"Sure brightens them," he said. "Though I hope it won't help much because that means I'd recover too quickly. If I don't, then I'll get to do this even more often, and…"
"If you recover faster I'll sit on your face sooner than you know," Azula declared, boldly: Sokka smiled wildly, raising his head from her chest eagerly.
"You will?!" he exclaimed. Azula snorted and laughed.
"Guess you're happy when I'm the one who's crude. You know, you're delightful too. And ridiculous," she said, cupping his face with her hands before kissing his eager lips softly.
It was a tender, meaningful kiss for the two of them, and they extended it for as long as they dared with sweet, gentle pecks, as well as deeper, thorough explorations of each other, interspersed between the chaste kisses. His hands dared touch her with desire, even if he wasn't about to act on it… and Azula let him. She felt his fingers trailing her weak spots and she thrived in it, quietly, letting her lover trigger her pleasure at his leisure.
"You didn't need to do this either, you know?" Sokka smiled a little, raising his head to gaze at her. "Could've just left me to rest quietly while withholding yourself from me…"
"Why would I want to do that?" Azula asked, stroking his hair gently. Sokka chuckled.
"Don't know. Because I'm the annoying guy who put himself in danger for your sake when he should have been fighting alongside you?" he said.
"Well, lesson learned now, I hope. You're… a little forgiven," Azula said, with a smirk. Sokka laughed, his brow pressed against hers.
"Good to know," he said. Azula bit her lip.
"Maybe we're not so different, you and I. You jumped in front of an inferno to protect me because you love me… and I let you rest on my chest because I…"
"Azula?" Sokka raised an eyebrow, looking at her with surprise.
Azula breathed deeply before meeting his eyes: it felt like the biggest risk she had ever taken. She didn't know what was so frightening about uttering those words, she had already spoken them to someone else…
But doing it with Sokka felt like a greater commitment. Like deciding she was throwing her lot with him for the rest of their lives, if he could stand her for that long.
The way he gazed at her suggested he was capable of that, and so much more.
So she had to do it. She just had to jump… and wait for gravity to claim her, or for her wings to burst from her back and help her take to the skies.
"I love you."
Sokka's eyes gleamed with emotion, reflected by the tears that were born in the corners of his eyes. He laughed softly, and Azula smiled warmly too, if tearfully: he kissed her sweetly, and her arms locked around his neck as she kept him close.
"Azula…" he managed to say, with a broken voice. Azula shook her head.
"It's okay. We'll… talk things over later," she said, caressing his cheek. "We'll decide whatever we need to decide, alright? For now, just… just live in the here and now. Just… just let me love you even if I barely know how, okay?"
"You know more than you realize you do," Sokka smiled warmly: the affection in his eyes caught her so off guard she nearly melted into his next kiss, into his warm, loving embrace…
Yes, there were many things for them to work through still. Yes, perhaps she'd regret having said those words once it sunk in that she had done it, whenever she lost her mind to anguish over not being good enough for him… but right now, everything felt just right. His kisses were as warm as sunlight, setting her inner flame afire with potent emotions she never knew she could experience.
Fire could be so deadly, so devastating. It could lay waste upon everything, just as Zirin had tried to… but it could be warm and gentle, too. It could embody passion… it could embody life. The dark shadows fire cast around itself were intricately connected with its light. The hand of the bender wielding it would determine the true purpose of flames: destruction or creation, hatred or love, life or death…
And right now, the fire in her heart burned with unequivocal devotion for the man whose brow pressed to hers, as they basked in their newfound peace. A part of Azula wickedly wished to ask if this was exactly what he had been missing with Suki… but she didn't dare mar a perfect moment of shared tenderness with any matters besides the two of them. All teasing could wait for later.
Though they would be forced to interrupt that crystallized moment of happiness rather quickly, too, once they heard footsteps approaching Sokka's room, as well as the quelled voices of Zuko and his physicians, who no doubt were informing him of Sokka's state.
"Uuuh…" Sokka grimaced: Azula flushed as she squirmed clumsily, awkwardly, out of Sokka's embrace.
"Lie down quietly there. Nothing happened here," she said, bashful, carefully moving so her leg wouldn't hurt.
"Right. Right. I'll… pretend I was asleep, yep. That's it," Sokka smiled, closing his eyes and relaxing.
Azula's heart raced as she took her seat: Zuko barged in moments later, without knocking.
"Still can't bother announcing yourself before entering any rooms?" Azula asked. Zuko grimaced, slowing down at first before stepping closer to Azula, sitting beside her.
"I guess I ought to work on that," he said. "How is he?"
"He's… asleep. As you can see," Azula said, trying not to show her bashfulness too overtly – while there was much they would need to work on and decide, one of such things was settling on whether to keep matters quiet a little longer or blatantly sharing the truth of what their relationship was with everyone around them… such as Zuko.
"Well… yeah. I can," Zuko sighed. "The physicians say he might… might have light marks left. Fortunately, the fire receded fast enough so it isn't as severe as, well… my face."
"It wasn't a third-degree burn," Azula concluded. Zuko nodded.
"Still… I don't feel like this is the right choice," Zuko said. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I mean… my physicians are the best the Fire Nation can offer. But is Fire Nation medicine going to be enough?"
"I have no idea. I hope so?" Azula said. Zuko sighed.
"I think we should get him to someone who could alleviate his pain much faster. Maybe even heal him enough so his skin isn't damaged forever," Zuko said. "Not even with light marks."
"Is that even possible?" Azula asked.
"Waterbending healing is impressive. You'll see," Zuko said, reassuringly.
"You're bringing a waterbender here?" Azula asked. "Or… do you want us to go to the Northern Water Tribe again?"
"I, uh… didn't mean for us to travel that far. A little less far, frankly," Zuko said, twiddling his thumbs awkwardly. Azula frowned.
"What?"
"There's… a really great waterbending healer who would gladly look after Sokka and make sure he's okay. And I think we should trust her to take good care of him. I know I do… though I'm not sure you do. Sokka would, though, I mean, she's… uh, well… his sister."
Azula had started to suspect what Zuko was getting at right before he arrived at his destination: her jaw dropped, and she inched away from him before blurting out the one answer she could give her brother's suggestion:
"Absolutely not."
"Azula, he's her brother. She'll kill us if we don't tell her he was in danger, if we don't take him to her…!"
"She'll kill you for harboring me at all, and then kill me for being, well, me! So as far as I can tell, the casualties will be minimal provided we just… avoid her. Forever."
Zuko snorted, slightly amused by the panic Katara elicited in Azula's heart. The Princess glared at her brother in displeasure, and he shook his head.
"I'll go too and make sure she understands that none of this is your fault. If anything… it's mine," Zuko said. Azula winced…
"As touching as it is to hear you admit that? I still don't want to go. Nope. Not a chance," Azula said, eyes wide.
"You might just like Air Temple Island…"
"What does that even matter?! I'm not going to jump right into their hands when they thought I'd kidnapped Sokka to begin with!"
"Well, I'll clear that up too! It'll be fine! Maybe we can call Toph too, I bet she'd help clear your name! Maybe she even told Aang and Katara that you're not a hazard to Sokka already…!"
"Right, and you think they believed her, if she did? You're as gullible as…"
"If you guys argued any louder, maybe you'd finally make sure that no one gets any rest around these parts, you know?"
Both Azula and Zuko froze up at Sokka's accusatory tone and deadpan glare – evidently, his attempt to pretend that he was sleeping had ended very quickly. Their apologetic grimaces brought a smirk to his face, and he shook his head at them.
"We can go to Air Temple Island. I'll handle Katara… and I'll make sure to have a loud argument with her just as you two are trying to fall asleep, too."
"Haha. You're hilarious," Zuko scoffed. Azula chuckled, shaking her head at Sokka's promise. "But then… once you're okay to travel? We'll… we'll get going. We'll get you some more healing, Sokka. You'll make a full recovery."
"As noisy as you may be… that's nice of you, buddy. Thanks," Sokka grinned.
Zuko didn't stay for much longer, busy as he was: Azula's nervousness over the next leg of their journey didn't diminish at all… but once Zuko was gone, she reached out to take Sokka's hand in hers: he smiled as he fell asleep holding it, and just by the sight of that gentle smile upon his face, Azula allowed herself to believe wistfully that everything would work out for the best…
They were gone. No light. No reflections. Nowhere for her to peer through and understand what had happened. The mirror was shattered, stained with her host's blood.
"You see? You hurt her! And you keep hurting her! Your meddling ruined her bonds with her allies, and you couldn't save her from another betrayal!"
Yue gritted her teeth, closing her eyes as she tried not to listen to the cackling cruelty of her captor. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't need to…
"Yue… Yue… Yue…"
A second voice. The one she heard at times, a familiar voice… it was kind, it was reaching out for her…
The dark restraints around her body tightened. She closed her eyes and hoped they'd hold. She needed them to hold. Otherwise…
"It won't be long now. It won't be long," her captor giggled with cruelty: she refused to look at him. She wouldn't meet his gaze. She had always refused… and he would never stop pushing her. "It won't be long before you're mine forever… once no one needs you anymore. Once you're well and truly gone from that world. Once every memory of your existence vanishes…
"Once they forget you. The Princess, the warrior… they will give their hearts to each other, and you will be forgotten for good."
A tear escaped Yue's cheeks: she might never be free again… but so long as they were, she would endure this nightmare and face the dark fate that swirled closer and closer around her, threatening to fulfill the dark promise of Oblivion.
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lovemichixo · 2 years
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Web Girls
I've always been fascinated by girls on the internet. There's something about the vulnerability of a girl in her room that feels uncomfortably familiar to me. Something about that privacy, something within that intimate space, that curates an authenticity that's rare to find in the interwebs. Before "The Influencer" there were bloggers. I would like to take the space to honor them here. :)
Tavi Gevinson- Style Rookie.
This may be the Tavi most know and love and know (The youngster style icon turned Gossip Girl actress extraordinaire)
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But this is the Tavi I am talking about:
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Style Rookie was like a spiritual awakening for me in fashion format. When I first saw Tavi I was truly awestruck and frozen in inspiration panic. There was this little create going around runway to runway, rubbing elbows with fashion LEGENDS.. devouring fashion at a pace only a fellow fashion beast could recognize. This wasn't just a hobby, this was PASSION in physical form. Her posts on styler rookie, later turning into Rookie Mag- an online magazine- were a cultural shift for every fashion lover and style pusher in the same facility. What a delight it was to grow up watching this icon's origin story develop.
Molly Soda- Digital Artist
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If Enya Umanzor had a troubled big sister who left the day after graduation because of mommy issues and the curiosity to find unlocked potential, it would be Molly Soda.
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If "She's so real for that" or "She's just like me fr" was a person- it would be Molly Soda. She had a pet rat named Sarah Michelle Gellar (SMG for short) and she turned "beauty" on it's head with what modern scholars would call "Shit posting" herself spitting, puking, picking at her armpit hairs, all while singing so effeminately you couldn't help but be in awe of the juxtaposition of what society says is "appropriate" for a woman to be considered pretty versus what she was showing us: A woman in all her flaws and glory and still beautiful.
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Check out her YouTube- Molly Soda is still creating art and content. Landlocked Mermaid- Ex- Tumblr Blogger This is a personal appreciation post here. This blogger deactivated years "before it was cool" (jk) but she really did- and became an obscure memory in the tumblr world. She RULED the indie girl Tumblr scene and went viral for kissing Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes at a concert once. Her family also owned the amusement park BIG was filmed at. I thought she was the coolest. Her and her friend Moonbrains (who I believe is still active on Tumblr) invented "sea punk" which was a mix of her handle name "landlocked mermaid" mixed with the punk movement popularized by the Tumblr grunge trend. (Anyone still own their lime crime "grunge palette"?) aka the Venus 1 haha. It's almost impossible to find pictures of them on the internet so here there are here. Immortalized in ones and zeroes.
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Before vivid color existed we had to create and mix our own hair dye. This mix is superb.
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There it is folks. Some of the big inspirations for some of my handles. The online ladies who helped shape an entire generation with colorful hair, cool clothes, and music tastes that broke da mout. Forever in my heart and now forever on the inter webs. To my Web Girls... Love, Michi xo
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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 months
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love the remark from joe about the christmas extravaganza wherein like thee main inspiration here is that it is essentially an actual christmas special that purports to be a christmas special which is about christmas specials, and his talking about like yeah the talk about commercialization(tm) of christmas and yet this is about such artifacts of [so there's Anything & there's capitalism:] but about the actual heart there & there's actually one here too, even while at no point do things pull back or become "serious" in the way that seriousness has to refer to a Tone of somberness sobriety drama & gravitas etc etc....illuminating when also only now do i know that much about the show as a whole and when also i'm not That familiar with christmas specials, though already certainly enough to like, generally Get It even without having seen the specific ones joe cites for example lol
thinking about like [there was never a Christmass held as an occasion of particular significance that didn't absorb preexisting nonchristian traditions, for instance, partying & treats] and [then a christmas carol revival and reinvention of more modern Cultural Significance, from the context of industrializing 19th century goings on & going like i don't know that the impoverishment & child labor seems great] and then like of course in a [see: that context] sense like you have Anything? in capitalism? of course like how to commodify things & fit anything that people can possibly do or desire or value into an act of consumerism, all the potential of life itself is contained in a way you can give this one company money. but at the same time here we are where just supposing there might be something "pure" of being associated with this system, you know, means what? that there, no i'm pushing through i'm making this post too lmao, that there isn't [insert Valued concept, like artistry, good intention, any genuine meaning to possibly be found] in a tv series, despite this not generally being considered the realm of High Art (which is, what, as a concept within what framework, with what examples and what reasoning) and yknow pick your true/valuable/high art, & how "pure" from any interactions w/commerce was that in its creation, or in it Now
smash cut to remembering a quote recently from someone's like first closest viewing of a Christmas(tm) happening, i think from a like roundtable article of people with varying opinions on the whole occasion from jewish currents magazine but don't quote me & i can't directly quote them but the person talking about how christmas despite all its hype seeming mostly a demanding time to perform this Event that would also invariably be a disappointment. and that had it occurring to me how like, also after the christmas carol cultural shift like the way traditions shifted / were shuffled around & absorbed & re/invented, like it wasn't really something so contained to The Home, it wasn't so centered around like whether it was amazing for small children (or there wasn't so much a concept that anything about being a small child was extra special or precious. for example the children yearn for the mines) but prior like, on The 25th what might happen is like outside homes, between Families, like the poor going out for alms, not exactly so familiar with mumming and wassailling and [it's the christmas chaos figure give it treats] as is somewhat present in halloween here modernly, hooray halloween lmao like yes Yes outside the house outside the family nighttime antics performing etc treats....anyways. also the christmas tree as like "ugh that germanic pagan ritual??" but then i think some royal xmas english or french had an xmas tree so it was like oh alright & adopted as "normal" now....but Anyways like even now reflecting like yeah lovely if Thee 25th is a genuinely nice time for people in the [nothing's open b/c why aren't you at home (or church)] nuclear family household time fr, as it's lovely if that's a generally nice context/situation/time for them in general, but it's like no the fun stuff is the more purportedly to de facto actually secular shit Outside the home & family & the 25th lmao, which is the shit that indeed seems more fun & hypey & then perhaps you encounter [actual 25th is demanding & stressful & perhaps overmuch, inevitably falling short of a pageant of perfection much less an ostensibly spontaneously genuine manifestation of perfection, etc]
certainly my own experience being like, church every week christian household so we did christmas & as a young kid it was indeed like ooh ahh i love the kind of mysterious special occasion that to me is like this chill Nighttime deal with the intriguing decorations & dim cozy Lights element like yeah love the depths of an xmas tree with the interspersed lights. then inevitably as per the nature of [you're stuck with your nuclear family in your family house, "ideally"] like the The 25th Day aspect which was never really the highlight vs the more general Xmas Zone was more an ordeal more dreaded thus eclipsing the other stuff. plus when it's like "ohh christmas can't be secular it also shouldn't even be Fun: go to church, stand around in somber wonder perhaps, the classic guilt if you want i dunno. trying to remember the annoying advent or christmas day homilies sermons Lectures like oh so you think this is a joyful time and you like the fun stuff? Wrong. not much of a conclusion beyond that now we sit around for 24 min slogging along eucharistically. ignore the more fun banger xmas singing though or we're bringing back monastic chants"
(sidebar lol a highlight of Later Christmasses Stuck With [it is a curse] was doing it monastic with nuns like yeah i'll be a tenor doing the harmony in your choir knocking out nighttime mass wahoooo....the fun of being theatrical gays like fuck yeah i'll take the reserved seating and enjoy harmonizing singing while i gotta do the church stuff anyways. and i enjoy well enough interacting w/the nuns who were nice & helping w/yknow practical shit yippee)
anyways and back to like knowing more about what's even in the full christmas extravaganza show and the illumination like oh right yeah having this Language of the heartwarming & perhaps chaotic on purpose or not Christmas Special, established / pervasive enough that even in like yeah not being very familiar w/these specific examples or even so many others, i have a grasp on the context & that language lol. as people for whom xmas is not a religious requirement thing or a casual religiousish thing or more like reverse engineering a yule out of the fun celebratory revelrous aspects & traditions lol like a secular party, or less / no direct specific interaction/relationship to the occasion: you sure still Know Of shit / have any familiarity all the same. where perhaps the stuff Surrounding xmas is like all this hype but then you participate more proximately in some [on The 25th deal] & be like isn't this just disappointing...? like so true the Secular shit is what's Fun, the [not the 25th! not dutiful church attendance!] shit is like, out of the home, interacting outside the family. it of course has the [formally businesses can only respond like uhh something something christmas is truly contained in our product] which is year round always with anything but ramped up with the [buying things] increase for xmas which is indeed a Tradition of like hey this can be expensive & stressful. and an opportunity to go "materialism....go to church" like making you think huh But. hardly necessarily Lacking anything genuine or meaningful or valuable outside [go to church] and people can be finding & creating that from what is happening in their lives anyways, & of course it doesn't have to be about Anything someone considers like ""objectively"" "significant" at all, religious or [this is anything besides a funny little occasion anyways. love to sing songs & have feasts] or like an installment of tv or like a whirlwind of like 20th century's second act secular (and decidedly heretical & technically blasphemous i'm sure combo re: the "and christianity etc etc yeah yeah" elements, if one would care about anything like that. no papal bull of approval, but ft. the tongue in cheek acknowledgment of the whole element like "it's fine to celebrate Other holidays of course. but you Gotta celebrate christmas with meeee.mp3") (separate note but shoutout to the "it's Not fine to celebrate other holidays ugh!" faction who don't Really want the idea of "we'll just be over here having a joyous occasion while you have to sit it out, unhappily unbaptized" to result in universal conversion, they just want Being Christian to confer authority, hey no you Can't be also having fun having food celebrating observing etc etc >:( and i certainly Can't be Forced at p.c. gunpoint to acknowledge Your goings on exist like You absolutely should have to Mine)
anyways it's like hell yeah fun to muse on like yeah the flipside of [strangling diminishing forces always trying to find new ways to encroach & be like how can this benefit me. like capitalism e.g.] being the creative expansive enriching forces like many people who care about the world they are in and about what actually makes life better and less strangled and diminished, which also will spontaneously find ways to grow and can't be truly extinguished or contained by the inherent stifling & limiting & extracting approach. like oh yeah of course like not just the secular out of the house outside the family shit that can be fun fr but now also the modern media, after [nothing to me b/c xmas soured & then was not much relevant & yeah i'm not exactly dying to "replace" the The 25th aspect anyways even if i supposed there was some opportunity right there but it's not much relevant] like ooh yeah fuck the joe iconis christmas extravaganza huh lmao i hear that i get that. krampusnacht's beautiful reinvention (even though afaik currently krampusnacht is also mostly about out of the house out of the family partying & antics like a lil scamp. to me it's about fucking the krampus now, alternatively, beautifully) i love it i am enthused it is a light in my heart & i'm not unserious about that, the way i could even go [!!!] just over what could be found in traces online for extravaganzas of yore back in dec 2022 when one was not currently going on. like oh yeah lol i could be on a sidewalk and go like "it's (ah) be (ah)" with corresponding choreography & the implied [—ginning to look a lot. like. chris. miss] i love strings of lights i recall the joy to the world harmony years later the nutcracker slaps always i have the media i Have encountered & do enjoy etc etc etc. and shoutout to the haters and the people who do go to church about it even possibly
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stormyoceans · 1 year
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top 10 most romantic vice versa moments? :)
SFJKSGFKGSKDGJSG SHORT ANSWER WOULD BE ALL OF THEM THEY LITERALLY INVENTED ROMANCE!!!!!! but apparently i like to hurt myself and aim to lose whatever sanity i have left so HERE WE GO I GUESS
1. the kitchen scene in episode 12. most of the time romance isn't actually in the grand public gestures but in the small ones we share every single day in the privacy of our homes and this scene is a perfect example of it like THE BACK HUG. THE CHEEK KISSES EXCHANGE. "WHATEVER COMES FROM YOU IS SO GOOD". PUEN TIGHTENING HIS HOLD AROUND TALAY AND TALAY'S HAND REACHING FOR PUEN'S OWN INSTINCTIVELY. "THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK AND SEARCHING FOR ME. AND THANK YOU FOR TAKING AWAY MY FEAR OF TOMORROW". PUEN'S HANDS ON TALAY'S WAIST. TALAY CUPPING PUEN'S FACE. "I THANK YOU TOO FOR BEING BORN SO THAT I COULD LOVE YOU". THE QUICK KISS AT THE END THAT'S JUST SO CASUAL AND INTIMATE AND SOFT. i've literally never seen two people be more domestic in love and enamored with each other in my entire life im sorry but this is truly peak romance to me!!!!!!
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2. the reunion scene in episode 11. romantic scene moment sequence of events of all time OF ALL TIME truly changed the trajectory of my life my outlook my values the very foundations of my personhood i genuinely can't have more than surface level thoughts about this scene or else i'll go insane fr. LOVERS TRASCENDING SPACETIME AND FINDING EACH OTHER AGAIN IN THE SAME PLACE ONE OF THEM FIRST FELL IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER BUT IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE IN A DIFFERE BODY!!!!!! “TALAY” BEING THE FIRST WORD OUT OF PUEN’S MOUTH!!!! TALAY BEING SO OVERWHELMED HE CAN’T SAY ANYTHING AT FIRST!!!! “AI’DANG”!!!! THE BONE CRUSHING HUG!!!! "YOU MUST BE VERY TIRED. FROM NOW ON THINGS WILL BE OKAY"!!!! THE WIFE TEASING BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE BICKERING BANTERING NERDS ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN FOR EACH OTHER!!!! THE HEARTACHE THE LONGING THE REALIZATION THE RELIEF THE COMFORT THE TENDERNESS THE UNDERSTANDING THE JOY THE LOVE!!!!!! losing my mind my marbles my capacity for rational thought and my grasp on reality
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3. the hat scene in episode 9. doctor jimmy fucking pay my therapy bills and answer for your crimes in a court of law i watched this scene 9373828 times but also i can't look directly at it because i'll implode instantaneously. he really was out there that day making the most choices looking awestruck to the point of reverence and giving so much adoration tenderness wonder devotion LOVE!!!!! AND IF PUEN'S REALIZATION OF WHO TALAY IS WASN'T ALREADY THE MOST DERANGED EMOTIONALLY CHARGED INSANE SHIT EVER PUT TO FILM THEY ALSO GAVE US ANOTHER CONFESSION!!!!! "NO MATTER WHAT WILL HAPPEN, ALL I WANT IS FOR US TO REUNITE"!!!!! "I THINK I AM FALLING FOR YOU"!!!!! "CAN'T YOU TELL? IM FALLING FOR YOU TOO"!!!!! LIKE NOT ALL OF THIS ON TOP OF THE SOULMATISM THING PLEASE IM ALREADY ON THE FLOOR WAILING STOPPPPP KICKING ME WHEN IM DOWN
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4. the post reunion scene in episode 11. so you get the reunion scene and are now agonizing on the floor partaking in fits of female hysteria trying to get a hold on yourself but hey, you think, at least that's the most romance they're gonna give in an episode, right? you're safe.... right???? FOOL!!!!!! YOU'RE NEVER SAFE IN THIS SHOW!!!!!! and what's more devastatingly romantic than puentalay just being puen and talay and talking about their feelings like THE RETURN OF "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THOSE 43.200 MINUTES I WAITED FOR YOU FELT LIKE"????? "IT WAS NO DIFFERENT FOR ME. BECAUSE FOR ME IT WAS 2.592.000 SECONDS I WAITED FOR YOU"????? "IM SO HAPPY"????? PUEN FIXING TALAY'S HAIR????? THE FOREHEAD KISS????? "DOES IT STILL FEEL LIKE A DREAM? OR DO YOU WANT ME TO DO MORE"????? THE HAND HOLDING????? "PROMISE ME YOU WON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN"????? "I WON'T LEAVE YOU AGAIN. I PROMISE"????? THE KISS????? anyway i'll be clinically dead for up to three business days do not contact me im becoming one with the soil
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5. the greyllery confession in episode 8. look i know im biased but if you don't think this is one of the most romantic confession scenes in the history of television you're just lying to yourself. THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENS WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE OUT TO EMPHASIZE THAT THEIR FEELINGS AREN'T ABOUT THE BODIES THEY INHABIT BUT ABOUT WHO THEY ARE????? TALAY CUPPING PUEN'S FACE AS IF HE'S HOLDING THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD IN HIS HANDS????? "I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN YOUR REAL FACE YET I LIKE YOU"????? PUEN BEING SO OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTIONS HE NEEDS TO GRAB TALAY'S WRIST TO GROUND HIMSELF????? TALAY REPEATING "I LIKE YOU" 4 TIMES????? "I LIKE YOU TOO. I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU"????? THE KISS????? THE TEAR FALLING DOWN PUEN'S CHEEK?????? i need to be institutionalized rn
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6. the hourglass scene in episode 12. i guess puen declaring his feelings for talay to the world would be the easiest choice here, but it's in the quiet moments just between the two of them where i always feel my heart swelling and overflowing with emotions. AND WHAT A MOMENT THIS ONE IS!!!!!! "i didn't need to look at it (the moon) and imagine your face anymore"!!!!!! "i don't want to leave you"!!!!!! THE HOURGLASS WITH THE SAND THAT DOESN'T FALL!!!!!! "I DON'T WANT TIME TO GO BY WITHOUT YOU FROM NOW ON"!!!!!! TALAY HUGGING PUEN FIRST!!!!!! PUEN STROKING THE BACK OF TALAY'S HEAD!!!!!! "FROM THIS MOMENT ON IT'S YOU AND ME. TALAY AND PUEN"!!!!!! MORE HUGGING AND HEAD STROKING!!!!!! CITY PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND!!!!!! friends im not gonna lie. im on the verge
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7. nivea bathtub scene my beloved in episode 3. im physically incapable of watching this scene without giggling twirling my hair kicking my feet pausing and screaming into a pillow. THE WAY TALAY LOOKS AT PUEN JUST RELAXING IN THE BATHTUB WITH HIS EYES CLOSED AND DECIDES TO CLEAN HIS FACE AND DOES THAT SO GENTLY AND INTENTLY????? THE WAY PUEN BRUSHES THE COTTON PAD ON TALAY'S CHEST AND SAYS "IF THIS CAN BE USED TO WIPE AWAY DUST, I SHOULD USE IT WITH YOUR HEART. I THINK YOUR HEART HASN'T BEEN USED IN A LONG TIME"????? and i always praise jimmy for his insane ability of expressing so many emotions through his eyes alone but sea is honestly just as good THE WAY TALAY'S EYES LOOK SO BIG AND DEEP AND INNOCENT AND VULNERABLE IN THIS SCENE AND HE CAN'T HOLD PUEN'S GAZE FOR TOO LONG????? the tension the yearning the electricity THE ROMANCE
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8. the first bed scene in episode 6. talay admitting out loud everything he missed about puen while puen is asleep!!!! just because he feels like saying it!!!! and all of those things being intrinsically PUEN!!!!! "I MISSED YOUR ANNOYANCE, YOUR SHYNESS, YOUR NICE SINGING VOICE, YOUR CARE, AND LASTLY JUST YOU"!!!!!! HE BASICALLY CONFESSED RIGHT THEN AND THERE AND DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT!!!!! AND THEN PUEN WAKES UP AND SAYS ONE OF THE MOST RIDICULOUS FLIRTY LINES I'VE EVER HEARD AND I RESENT THE FACT THAT I LIKE IT SO MUCH. thank god talay didn't get it but also i wish he did because "i like the sound of the sea" LIKE PUEN REALLY SAID HE LIKES THE SOUND OF TALAY AND SOMEHOW THAT MAKES /ME/ BLUSH????? and then they decided to make things even more disgustingly romantic by having PUEN GIVING TALAY AN EAR MASSAGE TO HELP HIM FALL ASLEEP????? is my mental health a joke to these people
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9. the missing you scene in episode 6. TALAY LITERALLY POWER WALKED TO TUN'S PARENTS' HOUSE JUST SO HE COULD SERENADE PUEN AND TELL HIM HE MISSED HIM AFTER NINE DAYS OF NOT SEEING EACH OTHER. and that's pretty romantic as it is, right??? you'd really think that would be more than enough to get the point across, but since no one in this show seems to be satisfied if they don't make any scene as deranged as possible, we have TALAY LOOKING STRAIGHT INTO PUEN'S EYES WHILE SINGING "OH DEAR LOVE, I LOVE YOU". WE HAVE THE OG "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG 12.960 MINUTES I WAITED FOR YOU FELT LIKE?" "I KNOW. BECAUSE FOR ME IT WAS 777.600 SECONDS THAT I SPENT MISSING YOU LIKE CRAZY TOO". WE HAVE THEIR FIRST REAL HUG. honestly everyone involved in this show should be in JAIL
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10. the helmet scene in episode 3. there are romantic puentalay moments that actually make me tear up from the sheer immensity of their feelings for each other and then there are romantic puentalay moments THAT HAVE ME GAGGING ON THE SIDE BECAUSE PEOPLE IN LOVE STINKS!!!!!! this scene definitely belongs to the latter group like PUEN GLUED TALAY'S HELMET SO WHEN TALAY FINALLY GOT IT OFF HE COULD READ THE WORDS WRITTEN ON THE BACK!!!!!! TALAY LITERALLY HAD THE SAME THOUGHT AND WROTE ON THE BACK OF PUEN'S HELMET TOO!!!!!! "THE ONE WEARING THIS IS CUTE" AND "YOU'RE SO GREAT"!!!!!!! and even before we got to that they were just standing there saying stuff like "im so lucky to have you"!!!!!! "im also glad i have you"!!!!!! "i'll live tun's life to the fullest. to the best. with you"!!!!!! THE PINKY PROMISE!!!!!! I HATE THEM ACTUALLY THEY'RE INSUFFERABLE
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Ahh the nsfw blog, may it rest in peace, twas a beloved era… but I’m glad your messages are more manageable now ! i assume you check them at least once a day, you’re so good at responding to anons !
now i'm horny only on main :))) and yes, i mostly check daily, but i respond when i feel like it
but fr, all the anons really got to be a bit Much to the point that it was no longer fun for me -- and then there was no point in doing it any longer really. there were some lovely people there, but everybody wanted a piece of me and it was draining. i also don't really like not knowing enough about a person when playing out a sexual scenario, or them not knowing -- or not caring to know -- about what i like i guess. bc some people assumed that i will just do whatever they're into without 1. letting me know where they lean 2. without considering i might not be into that. they behaved like i'm here for their entertainment and sort of forgot that i'm a person.
tbf, i think that often extends into real life when there is a dom/sub dynamic when people are inexperienced. a dom is not a robot made to pleasure you. doms have preferences and feelings and it gets tiresome having to invent shit and be in charge without getting anything in return, and nothing to work off. it's called a play bc it's a back and forth! each party has their role and has to give the other something to work with
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andiwriteordie · 1 year
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Hi yes atla au yes. Here's the thing. Yes I wanna know more Abt your au (and I might send in more asks Abt it after this) but uhhh I wanna know thoughts on who would/could be a part of the kyoshi warriors 👀👀 like in or outside of your au bc like technically they're non-bending women warriors in canon but also you can mess with it a little bc creative liberties of aus.... 👀👀 I just love them a lot (I adore Suki so much yk)
(atla/stranger things asks!)
if nobody else got me i know that toy's ALWAYS got me tbh <3 <3
*cracks knuckles* alright, so. i am pulling this out of thin air toy. i need you to know this. everything that is being written right now is being thought of as i go, so if i contradict myself lol... but here we go! let's talk about the kyoshi warriors!
i think the kyoshi warriors, as an entity, would unfortunately become a relic of the past. like with the way that bending and inventions both evolve even just by LoK? yeah, i think the hand to hand combat of the kyoshi warriors probably becomes something that is more just studied as maybe like some sort of martial art? and then their rich history of obviously being formed by kyoshi and then also having suki, who played a key role in ending the 100 year war, be one of the most famous leaders of the kyoshi warriors.
BUT. here is where my brain immediately went after that.
i've talked a little bit before about how i think jonathan would dislike his bending because of the abuse that he was subjected to during training with lonnie. lonnie sucked all the joy and freedom of airbending out of it, and while jonathan is an airbending master, he doesn't really enjoy it. the only time he does enjoy it is when he gets to teach his little brother, who absolutely loves airbending!
so i like to think that alternatively then, jonathan pursues other interests. we know he loves music and he loves reading, and i think in this world, we know there are lots of threats in the avatar universe, so jonathan would probably wanna look for an alternative form of combat skills (even before will's kidnapping and everything). so, he's studying combat styles in the library, and he begins to learn about the kyoshi warriors and their rich history. and yes, the kyoshi warriors began as a group of women warriors, but obviously we see that sokka joined and was able to learn from them and let's be fr for a second in that jonathan byers is the definition of "fuck gender norms"
so, imagine jonathan just saves any extra money he can to buy himself replicable fans to learn how to fight with. and when joyce and will are asleep, he goes out to their backyard, and he begins to practice. and sometimes, he'll use his airbending, because initially it does help with getting the movements down and with the fluidity that it takes to use the fans and to fight with them, but eventually he stops using his airbending as that crutch and just fights with the fans. he wants to be independent of his bending. he doesn't want to have to rely on it, the way lonnie always drilled into him. and yeah, there's a part of him that wants to prove lonnie wrong and show him that jonathan doesn't need his bending. he doesn't have to like it or use it or anything.
we meet jonathan in book one, and he and will are the reverse parallel of nancy and mike. with nancy and mike, we see the elder sibling being the one who loves and excels at her bending, while the younger sibling has a difficult relationship with it. with jonathan and will, we see the elder sibling having a difficult relationship and even refusing to use his bending except in certain cases, while the younger sibling (initially) loves it and is pretty good at it. and nancy and jonathan's arc together gets to explore then why jonathan prefers to use the kyoshi warrior combat methods and his fans rather than his bending, including some arguments between them where jonathan reminds nancy that not everyone could afford fancy amazing teachers to help them learn how to bend.
now i'm getting off topic lol. anyways. eventually, i think jonathan works through his bending trauma (concurrent to will handling his own), and he ultimately makes peace with it and combines his love for the kyoshi warrior combat fighting with his airbending for some fucking AWESOME jonathan byers fight scenes.
(ps steve asks jonathan to try and teach him out to use the fans, and jonathan is too nice to say no lol. and yes when jonathan was learning he went all out and did the makeup because he wanted to learn about the culture and fully embrace it, as best as he can. he makes steve do the same, but ah... steve is not built for fighting with the fans lol. it doesn't work very well.)
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jenkinstheartis · 9 months
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Noname Sundial
August 11, 2023 | 11 songs ; 32 minutes
so lovely, makes me feel black, pink and pretty. album cover looks ai generated? why?
she’s honing her sound now, perfecting it might i say!
★ = faves
one.black mirror: 8 out 10
so smooth, such a smooth way to pull me in. speaks to me in riddles. even smoother on the way out! sweet lil introduction, i always feel like she’s introducing herself to us at the beginning of her albums.
"am i supposed to feel this different? / like my rent's paid? / the devil's dead"
two.hold me down: 8.7 out of 10
(feat. Jimetta Rose & Voices of Creation)
nothing could compare to a black choir. her voice and alliteration, she kinda bragging on her skills, she's just too good sometimes.
"we too can cause harm, we should really link arms / they already take arms, a factory, fake farms / they killers, why we help them kills us?"
★ three.balloons: 9 out of 10
(feat. Jay Electronica & Eryn Allen Kane)
wanna listen to this while wearing leather and those skinny red sunglasses. and i wanna sit across from you with a cup of tea and over-analyze this song to you. her voice is something real iykyk.
"casual white fans / who invented the voyeur? / fascinated with mourning, they hope her trauma destroy her "
four.boomboom: 6 out of 10
(feat. ayoni)
im not a real fan of her earlier attempts at this genre (montego bae) but i do like this the more I listen to it so it’s an ever growing 6.
"i’m black, i’ve been black, fuck what you thought"
★ five.potentially the interlude: 9 out 10
y’all know jon bap? him and her, just like this <3. the flow of this is strong n slight. i love words and potential is threatening here, my potential is threatening to myself in this mindset. (this song feels slanted, don’t ask)
"if you were just a little bit more pretty / wrote a bit like kenny / you would have a life worth livin"
★ six.namesake: 10 out of 10
futuristic jazz spoken word. dread but encouraging. (jon bap born into this) reminds me of the 20s when they had those short lil bumped bobs and those planes flying over they heads with the smoke and perfectly tailored dresses.
"watch the fighter jet fly high / war machine gets glamorized / we play the game to pass the time / go noname go"
seven.beauty supply: 7 out of 10
great song, one of those that make me go “why do yt people listen to noname” (i know why I’m not stupid). makes me think of all the shitting that was done on the natural hair movement and how we went no where fr. bc it was taken over by yt folks
"cosplay a new identity, same enemy, / me / when I believe i’m prettier with my weave / when i could see the forest behind the trees / i’ll be free"
eight.toxic: 8 out of 10
triumph, healing, prosperity, and noname. what do all these things have in common? this song! this brings me back to window (my fave noname song fr)
"Never again in my new, new life, I treat me well"
nine.afro futurism: 7.5 out of 10
short but sweet. "how can you be getting it and innocent at the same time?" a little ode to the work she does outside of music and why she does it.
"this a dog eat dog world / she got family to hunt"
ten.gospel?: 4 out of 10
(feat. $ilkMoney, billy woods & STOUT)
love that she asked! The answer is no! i mean like her verse eats but the rest isn't for me. it can grow on me but i can't make it pass her verse and if i do i skip the last one. not for me but not everything is!
"wherever black people sleep, pray for them / pray for me, pray for me, pray for me"
★ twelve.oblivion: 10 out of 10
(feat common & ayoni)
okay common! great way to end the album. i love the word oblivion, no one’s around: oblivion, no one’s listening: oblivion. ayoni's voice is also amazing, she has a new fan and we can all thank noname.
"when the world blows up, that’s it / muthafucker I don’t care imma talk my shit / into oblivion."
Final (Serious) Thoughts noname brings attention to the commercial consumption of black people, explicitly black woman at times, in the media and how it feeds into capitalism. she calls out all the musicians in the spotlight profiting off black woe and black sorrow while living lavish, far away from it. she brings light to the destruction of consumerism that's happening within the black community. noname's enemy is capitalism and she's telling us, begging us to make it ours too. overall, this is a very well put together album and was so worth the wait.
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lyrics from azlyrics and apple music.
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