#there’ll be some writing about this character too

[melon-cream-enmu]

Cw Female afab reader, being a house wife to human disguised Muzan, trying for a baby, repeated failure to conceive, mentions of possibility to become pregnant, non consensual unknowing partaking in cannibalism, Muzan cooking and feeding you human meat, implied consensual sex

Im not confident in my ability to write smut for intimidating characters so I didn't, this is void of any described sex

Of all the eons Muzan has been ‘alive’ He’s toyed with people to keep up appearances. He’s been married countless times, killed partners countless times. But out of all of them, he’d say you were his favorite.

Sweet, yet with an attitude, plump, heavy in all the right places. He’d admit he likes your affection. A stay at home wife, you love to dote on him when he’s home, always at strange times due to business and his ‘skin condition’ requiring him to only leave at night. You’d even changed your sleep schedule to better match ‘his’, resting during the day to be up with him during the night. You were so cute, eager to please him, in every way. And you did, you cooked well, you cleaned well, and my, did you perform well in bed.

Such an eager thing, responded so perfectly to his touches, he’s been around a long time and is well experienced, but it’s as if everything he did, you liked. The tears in your eyes, the shine of your lips when he indulges you with kisses, the jiggle and bounce of your flesh. The way you tremble when he fills you so full of cum. He’s been playing a better act than usual, showing he ‘cares’, agreeing that he’d love a family with you, ‘trying’ for a baby. Your pouty face after a while when you’ve shown no signs and been reassured by doctors that nothing is wrong, it just hasn’t ‘stuck’, is truly adorable. Reassuring kisses always brighten your mood.

He’s contemplated turning you in moments where his patience has run dry with his moons and his experiments, sitting with arms crossed and brow knit in thought, but he’s never been too serious. Maybe when he’s ‘done’ with you he’ll try, and if you can’t survive it then it’s no loss to him. But he begins to think how a good human husband would, about ways to ‘improve your fertility’ just to see how you break down when you’re still unsuccessful. Because you will be, he doubts he’ll ever actually succeed in impregnating you, no matter how much you try. The possibility is there of course, but he’s no normal man anymore.

It wouldn’t matter either way. If you succeed, it will only solidify his place for however long he needs, and if not, there’ll be no issue killing you when the time comes. A woman ‘struck with grief at her failure to conceive’, you’ll have killed yourself, and he’ll ‘grieve’ for as short a time as possible and then move on to the next.

His mind rolls back to the hypotheticals of improving your fertility, recalling the medicines humans use, rituals humans perform…foods humans eat. You’d be so appreciative that he went out of his way to research dishes and ingredients to cook it for you. So appreciative you’d no doubt bring him back to your shared bed to try all over again, a thought that makes his eyes close and a puffed, exhaled laugh escape his nose, lips twitching into a smirk.

But his hands tighten into fists in response to the following thought. You’d never know, but he would, and that’s all that mattered. He could taint you, completely without your knowledge. It wouldn’t be hard, disguising human flesh as some other meat for a meal. The thought of your eyes squeezing tight as you squirm where you sit at how ‘tasty’ it is finalizes the decision.

He comes home to see you in a dreary mood. You don’t look up when he enters and you don’t greet him, only humming when he comes close and lays a gentle hand on your head, petting it. “I’m home, my darling.” He says before laying a kiss to the crown of your head, pulling back with a smirk on his lips. “Should I take on dinner tonight?” You look up at him now, a small smile on your face. “If it’s not too much ask…” he strokes your cheek. You’re so warm. He’s eaten countless bodies, warm and cold, but no one’s ever felt as warm as you do. “Of course not.” he withdraws and heads into the kitchen and sets down the wrapped items he'd brought with him.

As he cooks, you go about doing other tasks, leaving the room at some point. It's much preferred. He finally takes out the pound of meat. It looks rough, not properly cut from the body. Which it wasn't, he'd torn it from an unexpected meal earlier in the night. He prepares it and begins cooking it, slightly unsettled as the smell of the delicious blood and flesh soon disappears and aromas of spice and savory flavor takes it's place.

You made your way back into the room just as he was done plating it, and welcomed you to eat it. As you did, you were clear in how much you enjoyed it. Humming and smiling, he smiled at you, though he's almost smirking. You're eating human flesh, and you're too eagerly enjoying how its been prepared to even know. That, and you would never think your husband capable of such a heinous act.

The house was cleaned, you were happily cuddled up in his lap, and the sun had begun rising in the sky, in a few hours you'd grow tired and head to bed. You were quiet as you read, he was hardly aware of what, but it wasn't important as he stroked your side. His hand lowered, to your hip and slowly to your thigh. "I'm glad you let me handle dinner. I wanted to do something special for you, I was worried you'd tell me no." You shift a bit and look up at him, "and what would that be?" His hand moves up your thigh now. "I know it's been hard for you, trying so hard to conceive yet seeing nothing to reward you for all the time you've given, so I looked into some things." You set your book down and adjust yourself, now straddling his lap. He glances down at your body before returning his gaze to your face. "You know food can be used as medicine, yes?" You nod slowly. "Well," His hands stroke your thighs, one soon traveling up to lay on your stomach. "Certain foods are capable of improving a woman's fertility." He hears your breath hitch. "Now, it doesn't guarantee anything, but-" You cut him off with a kiss, something he saw coming. You pepper his lips, cheeks, chin with kisses. He chuckles at you, holding your waist and shifting his head as if moving away from an excited puppy. "Sweetheart I don't want you to get your hopes up."

You kiss him once more. "I won't, I promise." The kisses you give him now are softer, slower, full of love that he can't help but grow excited at. You're loving, treating a good man the way you think he deserves to be treated. You'll only know when it's too late, or maybe you'll never know, the man he truly is.

You start slowly yet eagerly unbuttoning his shirt. "My, we haven't even made it to the bed yet." He teases between your kisses. The way you sink into his lap and rub yourself against him tells him you won't be making it to the bed anytime soon.

He looked down at, you were cuddled up near his side where he sat. Body nude, and though covered in a fine sheen of sweat and sex, you look like the subject of a painting. He almost feels sympathy for you. If it weren't for him, you may have found that painter, been their muse, found a normal life with someone who loved you.

He hands smooths through your hair for a moment before his gaze focuses on your stomach. Maybe he will stick around, try to give you what you want. Though he does hate the sound of a crying, wailing baby...

#muzan x reader #muzan smut #demon slayer smut #cream slayer #cream afab #cream fem #toasted sugar cream #toasted for cannibalism #cream writes

[screampied]

Any suggestions on how to write smut

yuh! i can’t speak for everyone but these are some things that help me 💛🌟.

tag things properly: tagging your kinks, warnings are really important. it’s normal to forget a few things after you post smth, i have a few times and you can always change it later — but make sure to list every or just about every kink/thing that’s happened (ex: fem! afab! /etc.) and for kinks such as (ex. dumbification, spanking, daddy kink) some things that aren’t tagged properly may end up triggering someone. always specify the reader beforehand.

synonyms are your best friend: i mean like, you’re gonna eventually find yourself thinking you’re repeating words. maybe you’re like “how many variations of 'thrust' can i use?” use a thesaurus! i use wordhippo and its a really good resource to strengthen your word structure, especially if you have a hard time with building up pace.

be dramatic: this is fiction, it’s okay to have fun in your writing. when you’re writing smut, not everything has to be so serious—in real life, there’s lots of awkward and silly moments! have fun, don’t be worried about whether this character won’t do this or say that, it’s your story.

do research: whether you have irl experience or not, it’s completely fine to do research! maybe you’re trying to fully describe a certain position. there’s no shame in it, besides the more descriptive, the better!

don’t rush through it: take your time, it’s different for everyone but i know that writing actual smut takes a bit long sometimes. rushing through smut scenes will make it feel not as natural, a build up in between / during scenes are sometimes very important. sometimes a tip to help not rush through scenes is outline it beforehand. jot down certain brief things you want to happen before fully executing it. once you feel like it’s a good time to end it, you’ll know!

be captivating: when writing smut, you kinda wanna do certain things that may catch a reader's eye. whether it’s aesthetics, a good synopsis, or even a few steamy paragraphs before the read more! your synopsis doesn’t have to be too long, but make it a strong sentence or two giving a brief summary of your piece. before you go to the read more break, write a bit in a captivating way to where someone would want to click read more and read your entire post!

be patient: lastly, be patient. whether you’ve been writing smut for years, months, or even a few days, at the end of the day it takes time. it takes time to build up and be comfortable with your writing and your own personal writing style. there’ll be some days where you feel like you’re not getting enough recognition or feel like your work isn’t good enough compared to others—that’s totally valid to feel that way! the important thing to remember is that, try to have fun. don’t force yourself to write, take breaks when necessary. you won’t be able to master the writing of smut in a single day, just practice and you got this !!!

there’s probably more stuff i’m leaving out but this is the most i could think of heh. hope this helps u love!

#☆━━voicemails. #tips. #forgot to add #GRAMMARLY. invest it it. #especially if ur like me n english isn’t ur first lanague 😭🙏

[zepskies]

Why We Love the Boys

As promised, here is my review of Supes Ain’t Always Heroes. I actually used to write book reviews in my high school journalism days, so here we go!  

What this book is: A masterful deep dive. A study on character psychology, the source of the comic and show’s inspiration, and the narrative themes illustrated in The Boys that parallel American culture and our real lives.

It includes interviews from one of the comic’s creators, Darick Robertson, The Krip himself (Eric Kripke), and actors Jim Beaver (Robert Singer), Aya Cash (Stormfront), Chace Crawford (The Deep), Jessie T. Usher (A-Train), Nathan Mitchell (Black Noir), and of course, Jensen Ackles (Soldier Boy).

It also includes a small but significant ode to the creativity of fans and fandom (with a mention of fanfic writers)!

I’ll admit, I felt seen. 😊

Who wrote it: Psychologists Lynn S. Zubernis and Matthew Snyder. Zubernis is a self-proclaimed fangirl of not only this show, but Supernatural and Eric Kripke in general. (That aspect definitely comes through in her writing.)

She is also editor of Family Don’t End with Blood: Cast and Fans on How Supernatural Changes Lives and There’ll Be Peace When you Are Done: Actors and Fans Celebrate the Legacy of Supernatural. Both of which I now want to read.

Several other authors also contributed to this book, as their expertise and backgrounds lend to the subjects they’re covering, such as racism, sexism, the entertainment industry, the comic’s inception, and more.

Who wants to read this book: Anyone who enjoys learning about what makes characters tick. What drives their choices, their sense of morality and justice, and their trauma and strife that lead them to do heinous things. This book will help you better understand your favorite characters (and how to write about them).

Perhaps most importantly, this book is for anyone who wants to read it put into words, why many of us love The Boys, as well as Supernatural.

In a way, the latter is more escapism entertainment than The Boys. Because in this show, there isn’t much, if any escape.

Despite this being a “superhero show,” as we all know, it’s so much more than that. It’s a mirror held directly into our own faces: about why we enjoy heroes and antiheroes, and excuse the “bad behavior” of the ones we like.

About mental health, grief and loss, nature and nurture, coping mechanisms and the importance of choice in dealing with trauma; of racism, sexism, misogyny, weaponized social media, politics, corporate greed, and the power (and cruelty) of good marketing.

This book explores the true villain of the story (and it ain’t Homelander).

I’m going to get into my favorite aspects of this book—as well as an amazing chapter on Soldier Boy’s character study (and why we love him, perhaps too much).

Though in my opinion, it was missing one small, but key thing…

The Mirror of The Boys on Screen

This world is a gritty, bloody, and at times all-too realistic take on how superheroes would be if they lived in our world.

They are the worst of celebrities, professional athletes, and politicians all rolled into one. They are the shiny products of a company and are marketed as such. And they often buy into their own hype.

Some of my favorite quotes on this topic:

“The Boys often reflects darkness in our real world that is uncomfortable to watch. While we go through the tedium of our daily lives, trying to get by and using television or comics as an escape, it can feel difficult and overwhelming to confront the very real and insidious sources of authoritarianism, nationalism, and corporatism that are not just part of a story. “This show holds up a mirror and forces us to catch a glimpse of things we need to question, and asks us why we so easily believe the talking points of systems with marketing departments and press flacks behind them that carefully massage every word in order to get us to feel enamored with their product or policy.” (p. 227-228)

“The Boys works to reveal the nonaltruistic, sociopathic nature of contemporary US corporate culture. In a sense, The Boys uses the behavior of its characters to diagnose not an individual, but a culture.” (255)

In studying narrative I’ve learned that the best fiction and art serve to reflect the human experience. In this case, it’s something The Boys does expertly, even though it’s packaged in extreme, shocking, and often uncomfortable ways. But also in brutal, hilarious satire that’s fun to watch.

It “exposes real-world abuses, revealing many” of our own frustrations in American culture and in life in general (267).

Major Themes & Questions Explored

Several Boys themes are explored from a psychological, cultural, and narrative point of view, as I mentioned earlier. These are some of my favorite segments:

Toxic Masculinity & Narcissism

A whopper in The Boys, and the main theme of season 3. This book defines clearly what both of these words actually mean from a psychological point of view.

It also takes the bad taste out of your mouth that you might get from just hearing the words “toxic masculinity,” as it’s a phrase that can be carelessly thrown around to describe men and character traits that aren’t truly toxic.

How being emotionally available to your loved ones and not repressive of your feelings doesn’t make you weak, or less of a man. And how “being strong” doesn’t mean being physically violent and domineering. (AKA: the Big Swinging Dick™️ in the room.)

Narcissism is explored in a very interesting way. The book gives a diagram of different aspects of narcissists and how each character (Soldier Boy, Homelander, Butcher, and the Deep) falls into them.

Soldier Boy, for example, is classified as a “Classic Narcissist,” while Homelander a “Malignant Narcissist.” <- This will play into SB’s character study, and the main difference between SB and Homelander.

Butcher, however, displays narcissistic tendencies but is not, in fact, a narcissist. (More of an antisocial sociopath. Yay for him.)

Misogyny & Sexism

The classic superhero world of comics dates back to the 1930s and ‘40s. It has been, and in many respects still is a (White) male-dominated industry, where in narrative, female superheroes typically work under a male leading the team, as in Justice League, Teen Titans, and the Avengers.

As much as I love DC and Marvel comics, female characters have also been drawn wildly sexual for male readers and the male gaze, and non-supe characters have been written primarily as love interests and damsels for the hero to save. (Think Lois Lane, Lana Lang, and Mary Jane.)

Modern adaptions have given female characters more agency, but their foundations were rooted in underlying sexism and the mythic hero—an Odysseus-type with certain characteristics of male strength and heroism. And that goes all the way back to classic literature, like The Odyssey, Beowulf, and the Epic of Gilgamesh.

In The Boys, the female supes go through the same issues as their comic counterparts. And they are treated how women are treated in the real world—marketable as sexual objects. (Starlight’s forced costume change is a prime example.)

Author Danielle Turchiano argues in the book that the women in power at Vought (Madelyn Stillwell, later Ashley) are given only so much power as men like Stan Edgar and Homelander give to them.

Stillwell, Ashley, and even Stormfront “drink the Kool Aid” of the misogynistic infrastructure of Vought, but they’re not truly “powerful” in and of themselves. (112)

And I would add that the only female characters that have or find true agency are Grace Mallory, Annie January/Starlight, and Maggie Shaw/Queen Maeve. Even Victoria Neuman is trying to work the political schematic and Vought by operating “within the system” Vought has created.

Mental Health, Trauma & Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

This is a huge section, and rightly so. It kind of spans throughout the book, really, because all of these characters have traumas that inform who they are as adults making the (often grotesque) choices they make.

For many of these characters, it stems from their upbringing and fraught relationships with their parents, whether explicitly or implicitly explored in the show.

Butcher: Is an antisocial sociopath with narcissistic tendencies. Arrogant, emotionally manipulative, violent, and obsessive. He was also physically and emotionally abused by his father, led to use drinking and violence as a means to cope and express himself. His rage is so deep under his skin—he loathes himself for it (and his father), but struggles immensely to escape it.

Homelander: A malignant narcissist, the height of arrogance, and emotionally manipulative. He lacks empathy for others' pain, and in fact enjoys inflicting it. Yet he was a sensitive, gentle child who only wanted connection and love. Vogelbaum raised him like a lab rat and fostered him in a cold, detached cell. He was raised to be entitled and to believe he was an all-powerful god, the lord of his own kingdom within his mind, excused from the responsibility of his actions.

Soldier Boy: Also a narcissist; violent, arrogant, misogynistic, and often indifferent to the damage he causes, emotional or physical. Yet he was also emotionally abused by his father, who set impossible standards for what it meant to be a man. It drives Ben to try and prove his worth to his father, though he’s never able to. It fosters the lack of self-worth he feels as he seeks validation through fame and what he believes power to be.

These three characters have many similarities, but also notable differences that set them apart from one another. And both Butcher and Soldier Boy use substances like drugs and alcohol to cope with their traumas—ones that their forced stoicism and sense of manhood won’t allow them to easily express.

“We see Soldier Boy use substances almost continuously in season three to deal with his PTSD from the childhood emotional abuse he received from his father, the betrayal and assault from his team, and the torture he endured from the Russian scientists.

“In the short term, the use of drugs and alcohol to avoid thoughts and feelings about traumatic experiences can be felt as helpful, but in the long term, it hinders one’s ability to process emotions and can cause a deeper depression from the guilt and shame of both avoidance and substance abuse.” (27)

Heroes, Antiheroes & Villains

This book explores two key questions that the show encourages you to think about:

Who the hell is the hero of this story?

And who is the villain?

The surface-level answer is that Homelander and other supes like him are the villains, and Butcher and his band of bros are the heroes (or antiheroes). But they commit just as questionable, sketchy, and downright murderous acts as the supes they’re trying to take down.

“Butcher is not really a good guy. He’s manipulative and self-centered. His reasons for wanting to take down Homelander are utterly personal. That it serves the greater good is almost a coincidence.” (9)

And if Butcher is not a hero, but a vengeful vigilante, then why do we root for him so much?

Well, we see his incredible flaws. But I sympathize with his struggle in losing his wife and the life he could've continued to have with her. I root for the underdog going against the hydra head of Vought and the psychopathic Homelander.

And I see in Butcher, as I also do with Homelander and Soldier Boy, their traumas and their internal conflicts, their deep-rooted self-loathing, and a desire, deep, deep down…to be loved.

(And to foster connection with others, even if they’re unable to sustain them.)

On the flipside, we have antagonists in this show who do truly heinous things. What makes them compelling and even sympathetic, yet again, are their painful upbringings that have shaped them to be who they are. The supes of this show are byproducts of being treated like products.

Like the saying goes: Villains aren’t born, they’re made.

That’s why the real villain of this story is Vought International. It’s an allegory, and an indictment of the ruthless corporate greed that pervades American culture—and much of the world.

It’s why Stan Edgar is sometimes scarier to me than even Homelander (and was the true villain of my story, Break Me Down), if far more insidious.

Speaking of BMD, let’s get to it, shall we?

Here’s a (lot) bit about the Soldier Boy section of the book.

Soldier Boy: Why We Can’t Hate Him

I had to laugh out loud at the title of Soldier Boy’s chapter:

Loving the Villain: The Confusing Case of Soldier Boy

I’m not gonna lie. I felt called out. 😂

It is a confusing dichotomy. Soldier Boy is an absolute asshole. Misogynistic, narcissistic, arrogant, callous, violent…

But also deeply traumatized, a man-out-of-time, emotionally abused, byproduct of the historically and culturally different time he was raised in, a man who just doesn’t get it…

And also charming, adorably grumpy, and undoubtedly attractive.

It’s hard to indict “Ben” as an unredeemable villain in the same way I do Homelander, the psychologist-labelled Malignant Narcissist.

Therein lies the main difference between Soldier Boy and Homelander: Soldier Boy doesn’t take joy in harming others the way Homelander does. But he still harms people, whether he means to or not.

Zubernis confirms many of my own conclusions and ideas about Soldier Boy, and why I still rooted for him to be better, and didn’t want him to die at the end of season 3.

As Zubernis rightly exclaimed during her own watch of the finale: “Noooo, don’t kill the Danger Grandpa Baby Murder Kitten!” (175)

Because Jensen did what he does best in his roles: He made us feel Ben’s pain.

“What’s funny is, in regard to Jensen playing Soldier Boy, you know he’s fucking fantastic, he’s just so good at bringing the audience, and it’s almost like—what I laugh about is, he was probably a little too good at his job!” Kripke said. (180)

And he continues, “In part it’s because of the fandom. So many people took his side in the finale, they’re like, Were’s on his side, fuck everyone! And you’re like, but he’s the bad guy and he’s trying to kill a ten-year-old.”

Were there fans who held this viewpoint? I’m sure. There are some radicals who don’t give a fuck and will side with their favorite character, come whatever. But while I can’t speak for others, that’s not how I interpreted that moment in the season 3 finale.

Yes, I think Soldier Boy was (wrongfully) willing to fight Ryan. Do I think he would’ve killed him? I’m not sure. I think he would’ve done what he had to do to get Ryan out of his way in his fight with Homelander. Maybe he would’ve been more violent than he intended, in the callous collateral damage he’d shown throughout the season, or maybe he would’ve gone that far, if provoked.

It’s a tough call, as I think this character can go one way or the other in terms of his “villain” nature. We just haven’t seen enough of him in the series yet for me to make that conclusion on the canon-version of Soldier Boy. (In fanfic, I’ve explored my own interpretation.)

But overall, I think The Krip once again underestimated the power of Jensen’s acting.

…And the ardent nature of his mostly female fanbase. 😂

Why We Love Soldier Boy

The author cites multiple reasons for why we love Ben more than we probably should:

It’s Jensen Ackles. Fair enough. His talent speaks for itself.

Soldier Boy’s backstory: He was emotionally abused by his father and as a result, he has a complex regarding his self-worth, “something to prove,” and a secret need for attention, validation, and praise.

He has trauma and PTSD: He is displaced from what is familiar to him and confused when the boys find him, and that is the least of it. He’s been tortured for 40 years. Can you even conceive of that?

He’s charming: in a sexy grandpa, adorably grumpy, lovable asshole kind of way.

We’re drawn to danger: dangerous “edgy” types are fun, especially when you’re physically attracted to the character.

He has his moments of vulnerability: Jensen’s ability to play the nuance in the character is the ultimate draw. I felt his pain, could see his torture, and his resulting PTSD. He longs for a family, even if his ability to bring up those children is questionable at best. 😅

But I think the one aspect the author doesn’t consider is the character’s capacity for change.

Soldier Boy’s Potential

Again, I don’t think you can write off Soldier Boy’s potential for positive character development the same way you can Homelander, or even Butcher.

For one thing, we just haven’t spent enough time with the character. A lot of his collateral damage after he escapes imprisonment has been accidental, or PTSD-induced. Though we can’t discount how he murdered M.M.’s grandfather via collateral damage (and was callous about it).

I think this is what drew me to write about Soldier Boy. “For all his arrogance, his chauvinism, his massive ego and general bastardry, there’s still humanity in Ben.”

In the book, Nathan Mitchell also says something amazing about his own character (Black Noir) that resonated with me about Soldier Boy as well:

"One of the ingredients of a compelling character is contradiction. How does one aspect of our personality contradict with one another? [...] Who is he underneath? How might his true nature contrast with the demands of his job?"

Or coded for Soldier Boy/Ben: The pressures he puts on himself to be the type of man he thought his father wanted him to be.

Again, his sexist, misogynistic ideals are shaped by the time he was raised in, by being a product of Vought, and of his father’s emotionally abusive upbringing. Does this excuse or justify all of his behavior? Of course not.

But I think those 40 years in captivity changed him from the careless alpha dog we saw in 1984 Nicaragua…

He admits to Crimson Countess, with tears in his eyes, that he’d loved her. That he waited for her and his team—arguably the only social system he has in his life—to save him. He’s gutted to realize that not only did she and the rest of the team never love him, they hated him. They traded him for nothing. Just to get him out of their lives.

For all he claims to be afraid of nothing, tough as shit, he is afraid when he goes to face Mindstorm. He knows what the supe is capable of, and he visibly takes a shaky breath and tries to steel himself.

For a moment, he drops the “Soldier Boy” persona that he wears like a fine tailored suit. And he tells Butcher that the backstory Vought created for him was a lie; he grew up a rich kid who got sent to boarding school, but flunked out, because "he was a fuck up." And his father couldn’t be bothered to discipline him, implying he didn’t care enough about his own son to even lay a hand on him.

He is reluctant to kill Homelander when he finds out he’s Ben’s son (sort of). He even claims that he would’ve been willing to share the spotlight “with his own son.” — Something I doubt even Homelander would do.

Ben even seems to be fighting tears when he levies the same vitriol at Homelander that his own father did at him:

Homelander: “Weak? I’m you.”

Soldier Boy: “I know. You’re a fucking disappointment.”

Let me be clear. I don’t think it’s up to someone to change him (like a love interest). I don’t subscribe to that thinking, that a woman can “change” a man.

For example: In season 2, Butcher tells Becca, “Who was I before you? Nothing.”

And yet, she tells him that he put her on an unrealistic and unsustainable pedestal, in which she felt like she wasn’t allowed to fully be herself, unable to keep him from flying off the handle in rage. That kind of relationship (where one is dependent on the other to “keep them in check”) doesn’t work as a lasting, satisfying redemption arc, and it doesn’t work in real life either.

I do think, however, that a person is capable of change if they’re broken down enough (pun intended), and if they themselves have a desire to change. Someone they encounter can inspire them to be better, like Butcher with Hughie. That person can help support the other.

At the end of the day, however, it’s Ben that has to want to change.

If he wants love and connection, he’ll have to somehow want it, and try (and sometimes fail) to get it, thereby giving him agency and a redemptive character arc.

Now, obviously, it’s up to The Krip where Ben goes from here. He seems to have a more indicting vision of the character than I do (at least, so far). But we’ll see! The fan demand to bring back the character has already had Kripke confirming that Soldier Boy will be back.

Maybe it will encourage him to give the character a more satisfying ending than Dean Winchester got in Supernatural. Though granted, that one wasn’t his doing, apparently he was in favor of the ending the writers came up with.

Comparing Dean & Ben

In his interview segment, Jensen talks about what, if any, are the comparisons between Dean Winchester and Soldier Boy. AKA: Wanting a father’s approval, and an undercurrent of “John Wayne”-esque masculinity in John Winchester that Dean sought to emulate.

Jensen also talks about where he drew from to not only embody the character of Soldier Boy, but bring nuance to him—and show the peeks of vulnerability under the bravado and stoicism.

“He’s so fragile and his ego is fragile. Just like Homelander. These bigger-than-life powerful heroes really have a glass jaw… “And everyone walks on eggshells around him [Soldier Boy], and they tell him that they love him, and it’s the same with Homelander. Then when all of a sudden he faces his old team and Crimson Countess says we never loved you, we hated you—that’s a gut punch for him. Because even though on some level he may have known that, he never thought he would hear it. “And he probably propped himself up around trying to believe otherwise, because how can you walk around knowing everyone you’ve ever cared about hates you? It’s too painful.” (191)

It really is. And I inherently felt this about Soldier Boy/Ben when I watched season 3 for the first time. That’s exactly what I got from his performance and thought, there’s more to this guy than the toxic masculinity he represents.

This guy just wants to be loved, like everyone else. He wants to feel important, and even after his father’s dead, “show him” that Ben is the man his father wanted him to be. And so, he bought into the illusion Vought painstakingly crafted for him.

Whether he can come back from that remains to be seen. But I choose to be optimistic until evidence points to the contrary. 😅 (We’ll see in season 4!)

So that’s my personal take on Soldier Boy and this awesome book. 💚 Thank you again @kaleldobrev for recommending it to me! I hope you all enjoyed my long-winded review and want to check this out.

And if you do read it, I hope to read your thoughts as well!

Tagging people who said they wanted to read my review on this book: @venus-haze @jessjad @kristophalis @sl33pylilbunny

#supes ain't always heroes #book review #why we love the boys #the boys #my take on Soldier Boy #boys psychology #character study #cast interviews #jensen ackles #soldier boy #Homelander #billy butcher #aya cash #stormfront #jim beaver #robert singer #nathan mitchell #black noir #chance crawford #jessie t. usher #the deep #a-train #book rec #zepskies reads #zepskies reviews

[envyq00]

I DID IT. I FINISHED THE COVER ART FOR MY AU. It’s a redo of an older piece I did a while back. There’ll be another I’ll make in the future but yeah!! I’m super excited bc now that I finished this, when finals are done, I’ll finally be able to post comics for my AU! AAAA we’re almost there!!!

For those who don’t know, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road is my AU of the Stanley Parable, detailing the origins of Employee 432 and how they become the Timekeeper. It also goes into depth about the relationship between the Narrator and 432. (Btw, for those who might be confused or don’t know, I turned my Stanleysona into Employee 432, so now they’re the same character XD).

I’m hoping to get the story out through various comics, maybe some writing and animatics! Mainly comics tho cuz my biggest inspiration for this project is the Lab Rat comic for Portal.

I’ve been working on this since December and it’s taken over my brain for a good chunk of time now. So I hope I can successfully get it to infect your brains too hehehhehe.

I’ll probably be posting the comics and all related information collectively on my toyhouse or smth. It’ll also be available on DeviantArt! I’ll figure it out.

#digitalart #the stanley parable #envyqocs #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #the stanley parable narrator #tspud employee 432 #tsp settings person #tspud 432 #tspud timekeeper #beyond the yellow brick road au

[tinybirbwrites]

Guilty Pleasure (Dick Grayson/Reader)

Hello, hi. This started as a vent fic, then it became super silly and fun and longer than expected. No warnings except for some swearing, just silly fluff and crack. Reader is gender-neutral. Also I had Gotham Knights Dick in mind while writing, the game really grew on me lmao.

You often wondered whether Dick had a sixth sense for your mood. Each time you were upset about something, he would either somehow end up finding out about it, or unknowingly comfort you in some way. 

Watched a sad movie while Dick was away? Look at your phone; Dick either just sent you a meme, pun, or a sweet little message to brighten your day. Unhappy about what you saw in the mirror? Just you wait; Dick always seemed to have a heartfelt compliment ready for you. Lonely? Worry not; Dick already made plans to come over and glue himself to you for several hours.

This time was no different. Just twenty minutes after you saw something hurtful on social media, Dick plopped down next to you on the couch and wrapped a casual arm around your shoulders. 

“Hey, wanna watch a dumb movie together and cuddle?”

Hell yeah.

-

The movie did turn out to be super dumb—a crazy woman summoning the spirit of her dead killer husband into a fake christmas tree, who then goes on a murderous rampage as a christmas tree? Really? But it was exactly what you needed at that moment. 

You were crying and laughing through the stupidity of it all, switching between actually paying attention because of what was happening or because Dick was actively commenting on it, and thinking back to the post you saw that upset you in the first place. Dick didn’t ask, but he kept giving you comforting squeezes and rubbed slow circles over your back the whole time. 

As the credits started rolling and you finally got over how weird the movie was, Dick stroked a careful thumb over the tear-trails on your cheek. “Alright, well, now that we’ve gone through all five stages of grief together… You wanna tell me about it?” 

You leaned back with a shaky exhale. “Well, you know how I like to read and write fanfiction?” At his nod, you continued, “Well, there’s a subgenre called ‘reader inserts.’ They’re… basically exactly what the title implies. They’re written with you as the main character, and most of the time it’s with a romantic plot point at the focus. It’s something I like to consume for comfort, because it feels nice to read about yourself meeting your favorite characters and interacting with them, doing things together that you’ll never be able to in real life, right? And there’s a lot of well written fics out there that I enjoy a lot, but of course, as with everything, there’s also not so good ones. And the tragic part is, the not so good ones are the only thing that other people who aren’t interested in this subgenre see and know about, so reader inserts get a pretty bad rep. And I get it, I’ve also seen the bad ones, and there’s… a lot of porn, too. I understand it can be frustrating to see when you really don’t want to, but shaming people for writing and reading it just… hurts, you know? It really hurts.”

Dick was silent for a while, frowning. “Sadly, there’ll always be people who get upset about things they don’t like or don’t understand. Some are mature about it, and some aren’t. I’m guessing you saw someone complaining?”

You sighed and nodded, tiredly rubbing a hand over your forehead. “Yeah.” You didn’t feel like elaborating on what the person said specifically, it would only upset you more. Maybe you’d sent a screenshot to Dick later, but right now you just wanted to forget about it.

Dick hummed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It really sucks when you’ve gotta deal with people hating something you love and care about. And I know it’s easier said than done, but… don’t focus on that negativity. Focus on the good stuff. You’ve talked about getting a lot of positive feedback on your own writing before, yeah? Focus on that. People love what you write, and you love other people’s writing, that means there’s a community where you can all share what you love with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people just aren’t into the same stuff, they don’t get it, so sometimes they’ll complain about it to feel better. It’s hurtful, yeah, but remember that they’re not targeting you specifically. It’s their problem, the issues often lie within themselves. From what you said, it sounds like they’re just shitting on something they don’t wanna see because they don’t like or care about it. They’re not offering constructive criticism, so really, you don’t have to concern yourself with them. Try to distance yourself from their words, be proud of what you do and who you are. Okay?”

You mulled over his words for a moment, digesting them bit by bit, and eventually, you managed a smile. “Yeah, okay.” You turned your head and leaned closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.”

When you looked at him, the expression on his face was almost shy. “You’re always welcome. I’m just glad I could help somehow.”

-

Days later, Dick came to you with an excited smile on his face, and you watched as he sat down and pulled out his phone. “So, since you told me about reader inserts, I’ve done some research to better understand what you meant. I wanted to know more about what you enjoy.”

Oh no. “Oh. Really?” you said, a lot calmer than you actually felt.

He grinned, unaware of your growing horror. “Yep! So, I wasn’t sure what to look for at first, but eventually I searched for reader inserts that included some of the media I personally enjoy. I found a few I actually liked a lot! But, uh, I get what you meant with there being a lot of porn.”

You hid your face in your hands with a chortle, feeling heat quickly traveling to your cheeks at the mental image of Dick reading smut fics out of pure curiosity to learn more about what you were passionate about. “Yeah…”

Suddenly, Dick brightened. “Also! You won’t believe it, but I found a lot of Nightwing reader inserts! Some got recommended to me because of my search history, and I got really curious, so—”

OH NO.

“I was so amazed at how many there are! Ah, of course, lots of porn too. Can’t really fault anyone for that, I mean, I know people love my butt, so it only makes sense. Still, feels kinda weird. I started reading a few because I just couldn’t help it, and isn’t it kind of funny? It’s like a story about me making out with myself! Anyway, I found a few really good ones, a lot of them were from the same author—”

Oh God, please, anything but this—

Dick scrolled through his phone for a moment, then turned it around to show you what he found. You felt your soul leave your body.

It was your very own profile picture that stared back at you. 

It was your blog. 

It was your writing. 

Your Nightwing fanfics. 

He went on, completely undeterred by your stunned silence. “I know it sounds kind of narcissistic of me to say, but you should totally give this person’s stuff a read! They’re really good! I felt weirdly immersed, reading about being in love with, well, myself. Pining after… myself. Never thought I’d feel so strongly about that, but here I am. There’s one story that I’m hoping will get a second part some day, actually. I’m thinking I should maybe leave a comment. You think it’d be too much to do that with my Nightwing account?” 

Oh. Oh, thank God. Dick didn’t know it was you.

You subtly cleared your throat. “Uhm. Yeah, I think commenting as Nightwing would be a bit much.”

It was an older account—you actually hadn’t uploaded anything for a while now, but most of them were about Nightwing.

It had started off with the usual go-to scenarios of Nightwing saving reader while on patrol, something he’d actually done for you a few times now, which was what inspired you to scroll through the Nightwing x Reader tag in the first place. Then you decided you would give in and post some of your own for the public to see as well. Anonymously, of course. You’d never pin your actual name to that particular guilty pleasure of yours. 

The more you wrote, the more you started to wonder about what if scenarios. 

What if Dick Grayson was Nightwing? You’d noticed that they shared a lot of similarities; a love for puns, a charming smile, a kind heart, perfect hair, and, uhm… A nice body, too. You’d never written out this theory for the public eye, but in your head, you’d started imagining Dick being the one behind the mask, which fuelled your writing even more as you poured your feelings into them. 

You knew it was kind of a No-No to write about actual, existing people. It wasn’t something you usually did, either, nor were you very proud of it. But you just couldn’t help it—you’d been pining after Dick and Nightwing separately for years now, venting about it in the form of self-indulgent writing, until you eventually figured out they were both one and the same person. 

Of course you’d fallen head over heels in love with Dick, it was practically impossible not to; He had a stupidly big heart and a stupidly big butt. Finding out these two ridiculously attractive and caring people were actually one guy? That only served to intensify your feelings by, like, a hundred.

You hadn’t mentioned this realization to Dick, but it got more and more difficult not to as time went on. Until finally, one day, Dick confessed his vigilante identity to you, stating he trusted you and felt it was only fair if you knew. He felt bad about having to lie to you and keep making up excuses about his bruises and why he had to cancel plans every time something big happened that Nightwing had to take care of.

You were too scared to tell him about your feelings, especially after realizing you’d been writing reader insert fanfics about him all this time. It was one thing to just imagine Dick being Nightwing, but it was another to actually know it was him. You were lucky and very happy to even be friends with this amazing guy, and you weren’t about to ruin that by confessing your shameful sins to him.

You knew it was extra weird to write not only about an actual person, but about your friend. You’d never written any smut—that was something you just couldn’t let yourself do, it felt too wrong, even before you found out about Dick’s secret. 

You knew he took all the sexually charged comments on his Nightwing persona in good stride. He actually seemed to glow from all the praise, even feeding into it by laying on the charm extra thick sometimes when on patrol, always insisting Nightwing should never wear a cape so his precious butt wouldn’t be covered up. You also knew that he himself as Richard Grayson was a very popular guy, handsome and charming, a “well dressed golden retriever,” as some people liked to describe him. 

But you also knew that there was a line, and you felt like you were definitely crossing it by writing reader inserts about your best friend and crush. Though you did stop writing them after finding out about who Nightwing really was—it just felt too weird to keep posting more at that point.

Argh, who were you kidding? Either way, it was definitely still weird that you hadn’t immediately deleted your whole blog afterwards. It didn’t matter that Dick was currently unknowingly blowing up your phone with excited comments and likes on several of your Nightwing x Reader fics. You pulled it out and glanced at your screen as it lit up. Ah, he was also sending you all the links so you could read them for yourself. 

Is this how Dick felt when people talked about Nightwing in front of him, not knowing it was him they were talking about? You certainly felt like you had a top secret persona now. 

Despite your conflicted feelings on the matter and the rising shame in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at Dick’s genuine enthusiasm. And his comments were all very nice, too. 

Maybe… Maybe he would be okay with it, knowing it was you. Maybe he’d laugh about it. Maybe he’d even be flattered. You knew it would be impossible to keep this to yourself forever, especially since Dick was so easy to open up to. But not now. Definitely not now.

-

A few months later, Tim mentioned your username during a group conversation. In his defense, he probably thought it was common knowledge—you knew he wouldn’t reveal something as big as this on purpose if he thought it wasn’t a big deal. You were using the same username for several other accounts on other websites as well, all connected to your second email address, the one you hadn’t shared with Dick or the others, so you hadn’t actually expected them to ever look into it and find out.

How very foolish of you. You just hoped Tim hadn’t read any of your fanfics as well.

While you’d tried to appear calm and unaffected on the outside, you could feel yourself slowly dying on the inside, melting from the sheer amount of mortification you were experiencing.

You couldn’t look Dick in the eyes ever since. 

While he hadn’t mentioned anything directly, you could tell the clogs inside his head had already turned enough for him to connect the dots. He knew. Fucking shit, he knew. 

Several days went by. You kept casually sending messages to him, sharing memes and other every-day things like always, and he did the same. But you could tell he knew and wanted to say something, but didn’t because he could tell you were highly uncomfortable with him knowing. 

He was nice like that. Goddammit. 

And then, one evening, as you contemplated finally deleting your whole account and sending an official apology to Dick (you would definitely have to do that, you just didn’t know what to say and where to start), your phone lit up with a new message. 

From Dick. 

You stared at the notification for a long moment, dreading what you’d find once you opened it, until your eyes started to burn and you had to force yourself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Don’t jump to any conclusions now, you told yourself. Just open the damn message and see for yourself.

You procrastinated by going to the bathroom first. Then walked around the kitchen in search of something to eat, only to realize you were too anxious to actually eat anything. 

So you took your damn phone and clicked on the damn notification, holding your damn breath as you read Dick’s messages. 

(Dick) 21:32 : Hey, so, I had some ideas for a sequel regarding your last Nightwing story

(Dick) 21:33 : Hear me out

(Dick) 21:35 : What if Nightwing went over to reader’s place

(Dick) 21:35 : and then…

You waited for him to elaborate, maybe send a GIF or something else, but he wasn’t even online anymore. You frowned and started to type a hesitant, confused response, when there was a sudden knock on your living room window, making you flinch and shriek, almost dropping your phone in the process.

Looking up, you saw Dick in his Nightwing suit outside your window, grinning and waving at you. 

You blinked at him for a moment, then quickly walked over to open the window. “Wha—”

“You haven’t posted in a long time,” Dick interrupted you with a smile. “I thought maybe I could help inspire you.” 

“Ins— Inspire?” you repeated, stunned.

You stepped back a little when he started climbing through the window, taking in his appearance with a sense of awe. You’d seen him as Nightwing a few times now, but you never quite got used to it. He was a sight to behold—he always was, whether he was wearing the suit or just his regular clothes, but having Nightwing standing in front of you in your own home always felt a little unreal. It was so form fitting, showing off his muscles and curves, and the mask hiding parts of his face had its very own appeal that you could hardly put into words. 

“I noticed a theme while going through your stories.” Dick’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, and you quickly shut your mouth, only now realizing you’d been gaping at him the whole time. 

You cleared your throat. “A theme?”

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to you, slowly, as if he wanted to check whether you would move away or not. “Nightwing and reader never actually kiss in any of them.”

You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Then you realized he was waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, uhm. Yeah. I, uh. I just felt kind of weird about that. At first I was just scared you’d maybe find out about my stories some day and be weirded out by them, but later on after you told me about being Nightwing, I also just— It felt wrong to write about kissing you because it felt… too personal? And then I just kinda stopped writing them entirely.”

“Mh-hmm,” he hummed understandingly, stepping even closer, close enough for you to smell his cologne and minty breath. “Not to force my own interpretations onto your writing or anything, but I think Nightwing would definitely be very much into kissing the reader. And seeing how strongly the reader feels about him, I’m guessing it’s something they would want, too?”

You gulped, then managed to croak out a weak, “Yeah.”

He smiled and leaned closer until the tip of his nose shortly brushed yours, pausing for a moment to give you the chance to pull away, then gently pressed his lips to yours. Your breathing hitched, an electrifying sensation running through your whole body, starting from the points where he was touching you. His hands were on your arms, slowly rubbing up and down while he moved his lips against yours just as slowly. Your muscles couldn’t decide whether to stay tense or relax and melt against him, so you did a weird combination of both. 

Unsurprisingly, Dick was a very good kisser. 

After a long moment, he eventually parted from you, leaning back a little to take in your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless little laugh, stunned by what just happened, and so very fucking happy.

Dick chuckled too, hands gently squeezing your upper arms as if he wanted to hug you. “Was that okay?”

“Absolutely,” you said, without hesitation. “I’m sure all the fics probably gave it away, but I have feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make assumptions based on fiction alone,” Dick smiled. “But I’m glad, because I feel the same way. About you, I mean.”

Your chest warmed at that. Then you chuckled, an idea hitting you. “What, you don’t want me to write Dick Grayson x Nightwing fanfics next?”

He opened his mouth to retort with something sarcastic, but then his eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s actually a really genius idea—”

You chortled and knocked your hand against his strong chest. “No, it really wouldn’t be. What if people connected the dots and found out because of it?”

He pouted. “Alright, fair point. But maybe you could write them just for me?” Aaand he was using his puppy eyes on you. Go figure. 

“I’ll think about it,” you gave in. Only a few people were strong enough to withstand Dick Grayson’s charm, and you certainly weren’t one of them. “But, I gotta ask… Weren’t you super weirded out when you found out that I wrote all these stories? Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?” 

If you ever found out that a friend of yours was writing romantic reader insert fanfics about you and publishing them… Well, you didn’t know what it would feel like, but it was definitely weird.

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “If it were someone else I knew, then maybe. But I know you—you’re one of my best friends. Knowing you wrote them, it just… doesn’t bother me at all, no. I understand why you wrote them, I understand why you published them, too. And why you stopped.” He shrugged. You felt a weight fall from your shoulders at his words, finally feeling yourself relax against him. “Anyway, did I manage to inspire you? You gonna write a kiss for part two?”

You snorted, then hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “I don’t know, I think I’ll need a bit more to really get the creativity flowing.”

Dick’s smile turned knowing. “I’d be more than happy to help.” And then he kissed you again, and it was even better than the first time.

#dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #reader insert #x reader #genderneutral reader

[bluedalahorse]

Hi! I hope everyone is doing well. I am popping up to let you know that I’m alive, that there’s a lot going on, that I still love YR, and that I’m thinking about boundaries and priorities.

I loved Young Royals season three. I especially love how it engaged with the legacy of Erik and the systems of Hillerska. I love that it took the idea of the legal system providing catharsis and that it threw that out the window. I love the way characters got words for what they were going through, how Felice got to name the racism happening to her and August got words to name his disordered eating. Most of all I loved the way Lisa wrote Sara’s relationship with her father and her reconciliation with Simon. That meant so much to me, and I can’t wait to imagine a future for the Eriksson siblings.

Here is a brief list of things I loved about the finale. They were all written in the afterglow of seeing the episode. I stand by them. Especially how much I loved Wille’s ending, and what happened there.

In the coming weeks, I’m sure there’ll be stuff I’m more critical of or don’t feel as strongly about. I especially have mixed feelings about the way Lisa seemed to structure 3.5 in a way that mimics the emotional roller coaster of trauma. I’m not really focusing on that stuff here or now, because I don’t want to. But it’s on my mind, and I don’t know if I’ll end up posting about it here and elsewhere.

At present this post isn’t rebloggable or tagged with much of anything. That’s because I’m trying to figure out the best way moving forward with tumblr. I don’t know if I want to delete this blog and abandon it entirely, but the pressure to present a curated version of myself is too much, and is a pretty big trigger for things like rejection sensitivity and anxiety. The pace here is also too fast and there is no way to keep up with everything, and (forgive me for this cardinal sin in tumblr-land) I wish I had some easier way to not see the same sets of gifs a hundred times with the same commentary. I’m experimenting with slower ways of doing fandom, where I can enjoy myself more.

I do, however, want a way to get the cultural footnotes for Young Royals, especially when they help me write better fic and create better fanworks. I know there’s some pretty darn useful posts about how lines get translated and various holidays and traditions (and looking forward I would like to know more about universities in Sweden, and how the monarchy works and such.) So I want to be able to find the stuff I need without having to spend as much time on what I don’t need. The resource posts people make are truly helpful.

And I also have some other fannish things I want to see here, like Les Mis and Interview with the Vampire. And the memes are nice. I miss the memes.

Before I make the decision about how I engage, I think it will be useful for me to know my priorities. So I’ve thought about them a bit, and I want to make the decisions that align with my priorities. Here’s what I want to focus on moving forward:

I want to spend more time creating. The thing that has always brought me the most genuine joy in this fandom is writing fic. YRS3 ended in a place of possibility for so many characters, and I want to keep writing about them and learning about them that way. (I won’t even lie, of course most of my ideas are about August—August and Kristina working on their intergenerational cousin relationship, August getting pulled into weekly DND sessions with Wille and Simon so they can all get better at being human together while pretending to be elves or something, August doing the personal and liberatory work that allows him and Sara to one day have a Second Chance Romance with they’re older, even August/Nils because oh boy did that season give me ideas about them I never knew I had.) One of my goals is to cut down on browsing time significantly so that I spend more time writing, especially so I can finish Heart and Homeland. I think it’ll make me happier.

I want to spend more time helping others create. Some of the most meaningful experiences I had in this fandom involved being a beta reader or hearing out another person’s fic ideas, and getting to live in that space of creation and collaboration. For that reason, I’d like to still make new YR connections on occasion, especially with people who wanna share their writing process with me. Tumblr may or may not be a place to do that. I’m still figuring out where stuff should happen.

I want analysis to be something I do as part of my creative process, and that’s it. I don’t know if this is fully true, but it felt like ten years ago there was more fandom meta focused on what fans wanted to write in their fanfics, and how their interpretations of canon led to them creating cool art. There was some meta that was about how to interpret canon “correctly” but that wasn’t the priority. Now, it feels like—and this is true even outside of YR fandom, so this is no reflection on YR specifically—there is more emphasis on having the “correct” interpretation of canon. About getting it right, and having the right predictions and interpretations. It feels competitive in a way that wears me down. From this point forward, when posting analysis, I’m going to ask myself, is this furthering my creative pursuits and my understanding of the writing process more generally, or am I just trying to win an argument? If the answer is just to win, then I’m not going to post my argument. That runs counter to my goals.

I don’t want to engage in any space where anonymous discourse flourishes. Even when well-intentioned. Being away for a while was clarifying for me on that point. Turns out one of the biggest triggers for my anxiety and shame are extensive, heated conversations where I don’t know who is saying what and who I can trust. Spaces where there’s a lot of anon conversation are probably going to be ones I block and unfollow first moving forward. It just seems like a good baseline for how I engage.

So this is where I am as of now. I’ll probably continue to hold off on doing much posting in the coming days, but I did want to poke my head up for air for a second to let people know what the state of everything is.

Here’s one picture of the plushes for the road:

And here’s a picture of the waffles I ate on finale day:

Oh, to have cloudberry jam and time spent with friends. These things are truly joyous.

#yr s3 spoilers #yr spoilers #yr season 3 #mostly tagging this in case anyone has those blocked

[being-of-rain]

I wasn’t really a big fan of The Giggle by the time I finished watching it, and I liked it less the more that I thought about it. Which is a real shame, because I think it was full of a lot of great ideas that were squandered with poor execution. I didn’t really want to just post pages of negativity, so I’ll quickly skim through a list of things I think could’ve been done better, and maybe I’ll expand on some of them later or if I’m asked about them. Still, this is your warning for negativity.

The whole 'screens are evil and making everyone think they're right' felt so shallow and cheap, especially because it was set up as the main obstacle and then largely ignored. A lot of the characters at UNIT really didn't do much (I totally forgot about The Vlinx after my first watchthrough) but I think that didn't bother me much while watching because I was used to Chibnall regularly ignoring characters like that. It was nice to see Mel again, but she didn’t really serve much purpose.

RTD’s take on the Toymaker is quite similar to his take on the Master, which was sometimes fun and sometimes annoying (specifically the German accent, which lost its appeal pretty quickly for me). But he felt pretty hollow and full of wasted potential beyond that, feeling like he was there just to give the episode a villain. Although speaking of the Master, his brief inclusion was hilarious and an easy way to write him back into the show later, nicely done.

The last third of the episode had some many intriguing and potentially awesome ideas behind it. The new Doctor turning up partway through a story? Cool! The Doctor defeating his final villain alongside the next star of the show? Fun! The Doctor getting self-care and words of wisdom from his next self? So heartwarming! One Doctor retiring to be happy while his next incarnation travels off to continue the adventures? A fun use of the show's format!

But for me these ideas just didn’t work or didn’t fulfill their potential, and it’s mostly because there’s no narrative justification for them. No cause and effect. There’s no given reason for the Doctor to bigenerate, it just happens. There’s no particular reason that it was the Doctors rather than the Toymaker who won the game of catch to save the world, it just happens. Without any narrative reason the third act feels so unsatisfying, like spectacle for the sake of spectacle, and (I don’t say this lightly) incredibly lazily written.

That lack of story reason also undermines the ending, clearly the thing RTD was most interested in, by making it feel unearned. Like a first draft script that worked backwards to make it happen. The retirement ending itself I have mixed feelings about, which I’m not sure I can fully articulate. One thing I love to see is that RTD can actually do a genuinely happy ending rather than making every ending a tragedy. But said happy ending feels a little too ‘married-with-kids-and-a-white-picket-fence’ to me – though obviously I can’t stress enough how relieved I am that romance didn’t factor into it. It just felt like it wasn’t set up well enough. I’d probably like it a lot more if they made clear if Tennant’s Doctor was going to turn into Gatwa’s Doctor or if they’re just separate people now. It was sweet of RTD to try and bring a conclusion to the ‘Doctor is traumatised’ thing that he introduced to the show 18 years ago, but he did it poorly. At least it offers interesting new possibilities for the show going forward!

With all that said, in the end The Giggle felt to me like RTD retreading some of his biggest flaws as a writer, and throwing in a few borrowed from other showrunners for good measure. It was a disappointment both because of the good ideas just below the surface, and because it came after a very fun first episode and an incredible follow-up.

But like I said, I’m excited to see what the show does next! I saw talk that there’ll be lots of mythical and unnatural creatures turn up due to the Doctor’s salt thing, which is super cool. And obviously I’m excited for more Gatwa! I haven’t really felt a lot of reason to be excited about Ruby yet, but as always I’m ready to fall in love with the new companion quickly!

#my thoughts #dw spoilers #ten #donna #toymaker

[kaeyas-beloved]

Voicelines: Kaeya’s Birthday

Characters: Jean, Lisa, Klee, Diluc, (Y/N), Kaeya

Summary: Some people have some things to say in regards to today…

Genre: Fluff/Mild-Angst + Snippets

CW: romantic Kaeya x gn!reader & platonic for everyone else, not proofread

a/n: I uh wanted to try doing voicelines and what better opportunity than doing it for Kaeya’s birthday (yes I’m late but shhhhh)! Happy Birthday Kaeya <333

Jean

“Even though today is his birthday, Kaeya refuses to stop working. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s dedicated or simply forgot the date. Regardless, he should take the day off and enjoy himself.”

Lisa

“Kaeya doesn’t really celebrate his birthday. The most he’s ever done was drink himself silly and hardly anyone can consider that celebrating. Still, I’m sure there’s a reason behind it. Oh? You’re curious? Try asking (Y/N), cutie, they may know.”

Klee

“Today is Kaeya’s birthday! Klee heard that Amber is planning a surprise party for him later. Will you come too? There’ll be loads of yummy food and drinks. Oh and cake too! Klee hopes she made a good gift for Kaeya…”

Diluc

“It’s been a long time since either of us celebrated. Times were… simpler back then. Every year though Kaeya never fails to ask if he could get a drink on the house. Of course, I say no.

The staff at the winery miss him too and keep asking me to invite him over. Even if I wanted to, Kaeya always finds a way around it. So there’s no one to blame but him on that front. Must he make everything so difficult for me though?

*sigh* I digress. Traveller, one last thing. Could you deliver this bottle for me? I have no doubt you know who the receiver is.”

(Y/N)

"This year, I hope to make it the best for my lover. If you couldn’t tell, Kaeya gets… weird about his birthday. Yes, weirder than normal. Do I know why? I do, but it’s not my story to tell Traveller.

On top of the party, I have many presents for him for when we get home. Some material, others not so much. I’ve always had trouble picking out gifts, but it’s even worse when it comes to Kaeya. Still, it was fun. I’m smiling? I can’t help it, not when it comes to him and what he does to my heart.

...Do you think he’ll like this? It’s a feather earring. Did you know that Kaeya's vision isn't like the others? It's missing a set of feathers - the feathers required to fly.

...I want to give him his freedom. Even if it's only a little. Even if it's only for a day. He deserves that and so much more.

Kaeya

“When were you going to tell me about the party? Haha, I’m kidding. How did I know? Let’s just say I’m not a captain for nothing. Don’t worry, I'll act surprised when the time comes.

This is the first year (Y/N) will celebrate with me as my significant other. I’m truly blessed to have them in my life.

…Weird? Who told you that? (Y/N)? Oh, I see. I do tend to forget or celebrate in untraditional ways, there’s no denying that now that it’s out of the bag, but I wouldn’t go as far as weird to describe it. You think so too? I’m wounded.

(Paimon: “Uh! I don’t see why (Y/N) decided to get you anything. How do they deal with you!?”)

Wait. They got me something?

…

I can’t wait to see it. :)

Very important addition: Kaeya is teary eyed and smiling softly when he hears you got him a gift <3

Tag list: @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @x-zho // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kaerui-kaisen // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @lemontum // @akiria12167 // @ari-the-wr1ter // @dontmindmebeing // @stage-lucida

…

Wanna be tagged in future works? Consider filling out this form! And if you want to be removed just DM or send an ask into my inbox!

#kaeya x reader #kaeya x gender neutral reader #genshin impact kaeya #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin voicelines

[wcbweblog]

WELCOME!

WHAT IS ‘WHAT COULD BE WORTH ETERNITY,?

What Could Be Worth Eternity?, or wcbwe for short, is an art/storytelling project of mine! I currently have a comic (very early stage) in-the-works, as well as some writing and other art pieces. In short, wcbwe is what I call the original universe that holds a number of stories and characters I want to share!

OH, SO THIS BLOG IS FOR THAT COMIC?

………not exactly, unfortunately. The comic is still very early in its production, and as the only person working on it, progress is slow going. I think taking the extra time will be worth it in the end, but I’m biased lol. As it stands, this blog is not specifically for the comic in the works, but when I am ready to start posting pages, this is where it’ll happen!

…ALRIGHT. THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS BLOG? WHY THE COUNTDOWN, IF THE BIG PROJECT ISN’T GOING TO BE READY FOR A WHILE?

Wait, countdown? For anyone who doesn’t know, for about two months, I was doing a… daily, countdown on my main blog, and it ended today, 2023.08.28, the day this blog goes up.

To be honest – the countdown wasn’t for this. In fact I’m writing out this lil intro post the day it’s supposed to go up while at work haha! I am incredibly unprepared. The countdown was to something at work (that never ended up happening, to my knowledge), I think we were supposed to do some sort of… media blackout? Like I said, it didn’t happen, so it doesn’t really matter. But, well, a couple of my moots saw the countdown and got curious, and I thought ‘well I should do something on tumblr, too!’. So here we are. Art blog! Yup, this is an art (and sometimes writing) blog centered around the wcbwe universe. Right now the plan is to update every Monday, but that’s subject to change because I have no clue what my uni schedule is yet XD

YEAH YEAH COOL. GO BACK TO THAT COMIC FOR A MINUTE?

Ah yes. The comic. My pride and joy, should I actually manage to stick with the project. Like I said, it’s still very early in its production; only the prologue and first chapter have been scripted, and only half the prologue has been storyboarded. And it’s going to be a very long comic, so that’s not a lot. I’d prefer to have the whole thing, or almost the whole thing, storyboarded before I start making pages. If you want an estimate? I’d say it’ll be about a year or more before I can start posting pages.

OKAY, SO IF YOU WEREN’T PREPARED TO START THIS BLOG, WHY DO IT?

Well, there’s no time like the present! I need somewhere to organize my thoughts and concepts for the universe, story, and characters, and I’m hoping having a dedicated blog might motivate me to sort out my ideas haha.

*INSERT FANCY LIL PROGRESS BAR HERE*

Wow! What was the progress again? Not to worry! I’ll keep the progress updated here :]

scripted up to chapter 4

21/? pages storyboarded

0/? pages completed

IF THIS IS AN ART BLOG, WHAT KIND OF ART WILL YOU BE POSTING?

In short, anything wcbwe related! Digital art, traditional art, short writing things, animations, concept art, storyboard sketches, etc. etc. Anything I make that has to do with the wcbwe universe will end up on here eventually! Not all of it will be Quality Art TM lol

ALRIGHT, BUT WHAT’S THE STORY ABOUT?

I don’t want to get too into spoilers, especially since I don’t have most of the plot ironed out yet. Up until the comic’s production is further along, the main focus here will be on worldbuilding and designs. With that said – you might be able to put together pieces of the plot with the art provided! I’ve got a couple big pieces coming up that have some kinda major spoilers. I just don’t want to actually talk about the plot things until I know what I’m doing. With that in mind, some art might end up getting retconned in the final production. Though, there’ll be a liiiiiiiitle plot sneak peak at the end of this post. Very small :p (it comes with art!)

ASKS ARE WELCOME!

Idk haha, if you’ve got anything to say, or any questions, drop an ask! It might take me some time to answer or I might want to save it for whatever reason, but I’ll answer eventually! Oh – asks are exempt from the Monday Updates btw! I’ll answer them whenever I answer them :3

…oh yeah I should probably mention. C a t s. (also tags are in the. tags-)

Without further ado – welcome to What Could Be Worth Eternity? Let’s dive in.

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Arceli dies.

And then she doesn’t.

#wcbwe #wcbwe art #wcbwe writing

[mochie85]

Creature Comforts - Chapter 7 Final

Creature Comforts Masterlist Complete Masterlist

A/N: I apologize for this being late. I had no idea how I was going to finish it. Maybe, in my mind, I didn't want to finish it. But I'm so glad that I decided to write this. I have gained some amazing new friends and mutuals because of this fic, and I will forever be grateful. As always, my ASKS and inbox are open. Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, and liked the story. I appreciate you! Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character Word Count: 2.6K Warnings: Fluff, mentions of smut, but nothing too graphic. Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

You woke up on your bed to a pounding headache. Rubbing your eyes, you noted the darkness still outside your bedroom window. You groaned feeling your sore legs and your aching back.

“Do you need something, sweetness?” his voice carried to you softly. You turned around to find him lying next to you in bed.

“Loki?” you asked surprised. He smiled at you as he lay there on his stomach, his head resting on top of his arms. His hair was a mess, spread out over the pillows. “How long was I out this time?” you asked, admiring his skin under the dim light in your room.

“Two hours. Roughly.”

“What happened? Where’s Chris?” You asked alarmed as you tried to sit up from your bed. Your back protested and your hips stabbed you with pain. Loki sat up with you and pushed you gently back down.

“Gently, Liesl. You don’t want to go back to the infirmary, do you?”

“W-was I in the infirmary?”

“I carried you down there while I dragged his sorry ass with my seidr. I would’ve preferred to let the rat bleed out in the balcony while I tended to you, but I couldn’t risk him escaping.”

“Is he…”

“Dead? No. Frozen as a popsicle. On his way to The Raft.” You nodded your head in understanding. “Rogers thought the best thing to do with him would be to freeze him like they did with Barnes all those years ago. The rest of the team came back to blood and glass all over the carpets and a broken television. I think they had bets on whether or not you had stabbed me.” He joked.

You laughed at the thought as your bodies got closer the more you talked with each other.  “I don’t think Stark is too happy about it. Especially the blood stains on the carpet,” Loki continued.

“I can’t believe Chris took the serum. Do you think there’ll be more like him out there? What else did Steve say? Or Bucky? What did Bruce-”

“Shh,” Loki said as he put his fingers on your lips. “I don’t want to hear you talk about other men, while I’m in bed with you.”

You blushed as you realized where the two of you were. “What are you doing in my bed?” you asked.

Loki momentarily looked at you. A puzzled expression broke out on his face. “You’re right. I apologize. I should leave.” Loki moved to get up.

“No, no, no.” you reached for him and grabbed his arm, pulling him back into bed. “Stay. Please.” You pulled him closer to you in bed and wrapped his arms over your waist, while you tucked your arms in between you. A spontaneous smile broke out on his face as he finally held you close.

When he laid you down on your bed earlier, he debated internally on whether he should stay and watch over you. Or to let you go and rest. He watched you for a lengthy amount of time until he gave in to his urges and laid there with you on your bed. He didn’t dare touch you though. He still didn’t know where the two of you stood in the relationship. Now he got to hold you close. His thumb rubbing circles on the small of your back.

You both laid there, your faces so close to each other. You reached up and soothed his furrowed brow. You traced your fingers down to the tip of his nose then down to his soft pink lips. Loki pursed his lips slightly, giving your finger a small kiss. 

“Are you comfortable?” he whispered. You nodded your head, your noses barely kissing. All he would have to do is move just a tiny bit closer, and he would finally have your lips on his. But he needed to do something first. “I’m sorry, Liesl. For everything.”

“I forgive you.”

“I mean it. I really am sorry, my love. About the misunderstanding. About ignoring you. About Chris hurting you.”

“I know. Just…don’t do it again. Promise me you’ll talk to me, instead of ignoring me. Even though we might not end up together, I’d still like to be your friend.” You whispered softly. You didn’t want to assume that he wanted to be in a relationship with you. Ever since you saw him with someone else, it just broke your confidence about being with him.

“Is that what you want? To remain friends?” Loki asked soberly. You both lay there quietly. Afraid of the thoughts going on inside your heads. “Tell me, darling. Honesty, remember. Talking goes both ways.”

You started fidgeting with the top button on his shirt, your fingers needed something to play with as you tried to confess your feelings. “I would like to be more.” You said sheepishly, averting your eyes from his gaze, focusing on his button instead. “I didn’t know you back then. I thought that when you started noticing me, that I was just going to be another conquest to you. But ever since you took care of me at the hospital, and helped with my recovery. I’ve grown fond of…you…and our time together. Then, seeing you with another person earlier today, it hurt.”

“I’m so sorry, my dear. You will never know how much I regret doing that. I’m sorry I broke your trust in me. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts. When I heard what you said about your ex, I thought you were talking about me. In my head, it made sense that no one would really want to be with me.  I would like to be more too. If you’d still like to try.”

“Hmm.” You hesitantly agreed. “It did make me realize that I didn’t want to stay friends anymore. But I also couldn’t trust you not to do something hurtful like that if we get into an argument. You know me Loki, at least I hope you do. You know that I don’t like the drama, the angst. I just want things to be easy, comfortable.”

“I do know you, darling. That’s why I pursued you a long time ago. I saw you, cozy and relaxed. You were content to just let your light shine through. I wanted to be part of that. And what better way to crash into your life than to make you blush at every chance I get. I loved seeing you uncomfortable, so to speak. I loved it when I made you squirm or blush. When I hear your breath hitch. Or when you close your eyes relishing something I’ve done.”

By now, your fingers have moved from the buttons on his shirt to the warmth of the skin on his collar bone. You traced the muscles of his neck, feeling the vibrations as he spoke.

“Liesl?” He called you, wanting your attention.

“Hmm?” You were hypnotized by his voice.

“You can’t imagine how good that feels?” He closed his eyes, savoring your touch. Neither of you speaking, neither of you wanting to break the enchanting silence surrounding you. Both of you content to just have each other in your arms. Relieved that the night hadn’t gone worse and that you were both now finally speaking about what you wanted from each other.

“Why did you do it?” You asked, the question popping into your head, uncensored.

“Do what?”

“Save him. From throwing him over the balcony.” You said sheepishly. Loki laughed.

“Did you want me to?”

“No! Maybe. No. Definitely, no.” Loki laughed harder. His body shaking the bed. “I guess I was just curious as to what you were thinking. I knew that if you had gone through with it, you wouldn't have forgiven yourself afterward.”

“Hmm.” Loki contemplated for a moment before he answered. He was grateful that you knew enough about him to understand that, yes, he would never forgive himself afterward. “I was so angry at him for what he had done to you. I was so angry at myself for what I had done to you. I suppose I wanted him to hurt the way I was. I wanted to throw my problems out the window, as they say.”

“What stopped you?”

“You. Your voice pulled me from my wrath like gravity. I felt your lips beckon me on my skin. The heat from your embrace warmed my body. Just – like – the sun.” He pulled you flush against him. His nose ran along your cheek, as his hands gripped you from behind.

“How are your legs?” Loki asked in a soft whisper.

“They’re ok. See?” you answered in an equally hushed tone as you lifted your leg over his waist and trapped him in between you. You winced slightly, trying to hide the ache in your thighs. Loki stifled a giggle, turning his head down towards the pillow.

“I’m not sure how to react to your teasing. Is this what it feels like every time I came on to you?” He asked blushing.

“Oh no! You’re much worse. You’ve had centuries to perfect it. You’re more disarming.”

“How am I worse? If you recall, you’re the one that kissed me first.” Loki almost shrieked.

“I did, didn’t I?” you laughed.

“Yes, you did!” Loki tightened his grip around you. “I also recall me saying, that if you wanted another one, you’d have to get up from that chair.”

“And I did. Didn’t I?” you said smiling.

“Yes. You did.” Loki breathed as he reached behind your head. You felt his cool breath tickle your lips just before they latched onto yours.

It wasn’t a peck this time. It was a lingering heat that finally exploded as you two kissed. You heard the crinkling of his lips as he opened them to invite you further in. The sharp sound sent an echo throughout the nerves of your body, energizing them. He sucked on your upper lip as you bit down on his lower one, making him moan.

Loki’s hands explored you. The curves of your back, the dip of your waist, the fullness of your thighs. He squeezed enthusiastically and you grimaced slightly at the pain.

“Oh, darling. I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?” He asked panicked. You only giggled in response.

“I’m fine.”

“Yes. You said that too, then collapsed on me.”

“It’s been a tiring day.”

“I’m sorry I added to it.” You looked him in the eyes and you could see his genuine sincerity. “You have to know Liesl, I never meant for any of that to happen. I was just running on autopilot. Then the thing with Chris happened and it all went to hell…”

“Shh. It’s ok. I understand. Will you come to me though, the next time something like this happens? I don’t want to have to fight off other people just to keep your attention.” You smiled.

“I promise. Again, I’m sorry, love.” He gave you a slightly less heated kiss on your lips. “Will you fight other people for me though? That might be something I’d like to watch?” he said playfully.

“Would you really put some unsuspecting victim in harm’s way, my way, just to prove your point?”

“You’re right. No one can best you.”

“Damn straight!”

“To the victor goes the spoils.”

You pulled his shirt collar to bring his lips closer to you and said, “Hmm. Spoil me again.”

The next day, you had walked out with Loki trailing behind you. He hadn’t left your room all night, wanting to stay by you in case you needed something. Needless to say, neither of you slept. The break of dawn shone through your window to signal the both of you to get up from the dream-like state you were both in. The night hadn’t gone further than heated touches and filthy promises to ravage each other when you finally healed. ‘Motivation,’ Loki said, to speed up your recovery.

You walked with your hand on the walls for support. His arm wrapped behind you ready to catch you in case you fell. When you walked out to the common area, you seized up. Most of the team was sitting around the dining room table eating their version of breakfast. But what really caught your attention was the rest of the common room. Damage from the previous night made the room seem like a horror movie come to life.

Blood was everywhere, uncleaned and untouched.  A dark pool of it resting right by the bar area and trailed outside towards the balcony. The television hanging by the lone chord from the wall had dropped onto the glass shelves below it.  Loki looked timidly toward you.

“There she is,” Bruce said noticing you walk out.

“Careful there’s glass there on the carpet,” Steve said pointing down. Loki picked you up, bridal style, and carried you over the broken glass towards the team eating in the breakfast nook.

“Edelweiss, the next time you decide to throw a party and invite your evil exes for a duel, remind me to cover the walls with tarp. Dexter Morgan style.” Tony said, downing two painkillers with his black coffee. Steve and Loki just looked at him, tilting their heads, not understanding the references. Tony might as well be speaking tongues to them.

“I promise.” You rolled your eyes in agreement. Loki sat you down next to Natasha. He kissed your head and asked, “Coffee?” You nodded your head and said, “Please.”

Nat gave you her famous half-smirk. She pointed her cereal spoon between you and Loki who was at the kitchen counter making you your cup of coffee. You returned her smile and nodded your head. She narrowed her eyes at him and nodded her head in acceptance. Then she held up one finger and gave you a serious look as she raised her eyebrow. Then she motioned cutting her neck with her thumb. You patted her hand gently and shook your head, thanking her for her protectiveness.

“Are they telepathic?” Thor whispered to Sam as he watched your interactions.

“All women are, Thor,” Sam whispered back. “All women are.”

In the following weeks, Loki took it upon himself to be your personal trainer. It was both distracting and productive.

Productive because he would make it fun and use his charms to motivate you. He would dance with you across the gym floor. Or he would follow you up the stair machine in the gym, laughing as he stalked behind you. “Come on, darling. Two more flights and I can give you that foot massage afterward.” He would smirk.

Distracting because that massage would always lead to something more. “Well, if I massage your feet, I might as well do your calves and thighs,” he reasoned.

He would then proceed to your back, then your shoulders. Pretty soon your whole body would be covered in oil and Loki would soothe and relax every nerve and tension you had. His expert hands knew every inch of your body by now, and he knew exactly how to elicit the most primal moans out of your lips.

“Are you comfortable, dear heart?” He asked in a low quiet voice, trailing his strong fingers down your spine. You hummed in response - the most intelligent thing you could say after he does one of these sessions with you. And he would always do these sessions with you.

As heated and passionate as these massages were, it never got to be more than that – a body massage. He didn’t want to hurt you any further by taking you in an uncomfortable position for an extended amount of time. Norns, did he fantasize about taking you for an extended amount of time. But he wanted you to be yourself again. The celestial force that pulled him in. The warmth, the light that only you could shine.

So you both waited until you and your body were in shape. He knew it wouldn’t be forever. And by the time you would be ready, he knew exactly how to wound you up and make you blush. He would push your limits the only way he knew how and when he’s extracted the most beautiful pleasure out of your body, his hands would already know just how to make you a creature of comfort.

⬅️Chapter 6 | One Shot: Two Months Later➡️

Taglist: @a-lonely-gray-couch @albinotigerpython @annesunlight @anonymousfiction211 @asgardianprincess1050 @chickencouncilrep @daggers-and-mischief @daintinessiskey @fire-in-her-veinz @froggybitchh @gigglingtigger @hoff-mommy @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @ilivedonceinthisworld @immersed-in-mischief @jmehp @kellatron55 @kittiowolf210 @klaushargreeves420 @kxthxrinx0310 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @lokidbadguy @lokiestorch @lokixryss @lonadane @loopsisloops @lucylaufeyson3 @lulubelle814 @luvlady-writes @mcufan72 @midnights-ramblings @mistress-of-words @moonlightreader649 @msturi2u @peachyymallows @pinksparklypen @salempoe @sititran @sonatabee @theotherspiderlady @vera-of-asgard @wolfsmom1 @yoongissidebitchh @lokiprompts21 @lokisninerealms @lokisgoodgirl @alexs1200 @a-witch-with-words @britishserpent @huntress-artemiss @mischief2sarawr @user13cabs @one-oblivious-nerd @crimson25 @nopenottodayson

#loki fandom #loki fluff #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fanfic #loki angst #loki series #mcu #loki x you #loki x reader #loki x OC #Marvel fanfic #MCU fanfic #flirt #loki laufeyson #marvel fanfic

[codgod]

OKAY. slightly more comprehensive and hopefully more useful tips for writing qmariana because the other post i made was kinda a mess. this one also is but hopefully less so. this is basically me expounding upon everything i already said + adding info from a lot of the tags i got on the original post pointing out stuff i didn’t mention

also going to mention again that a lot of this IS related to slimeriana because that’s the main flavour of qsmp fics i read BUT they should all work as general pointers. slimeriana are just gonna end up as my go-to examples for what i’m talking about. and second disclaimer that i barely speak even basic spanish so there are probs gonna be even more things i may have missed or messed up, i’m forging through with the power of youtube auto translate

all that said, here:

he’s not great at speaking english —

it is okay to write a character not being good at speaking a language! i don’t know why everyone seems to be fine with writing charlie speaking broken spanish but not the other way around. so many times i’ve seen him written as speaking perfect english and then just sometimes swearing or having a few lines of dialogue in spanish, if even that. that is simply just not how he talks

common things i personally have noticed mariana does: repeats words, says words that sound similar to the one he wants but not Quite [think words that rhyme or have a similar sound to them, like nipples and pimples lol], he’ll often get frustrated and switch back to spanish and just rely on the translator, especially for longer or more complex sentences/statements, there’ll sometimes be pauses between words or he talks slowly. he tries his best to speak english around the english speaking server members but again, will also just speak spanish and use the translator if he’s gonna be talking a lot

other small things: he swears quite a bit, and has a few favourites [namely mamahuevo (eng equivalent is cocksucker) is the one that comes to mind. and i don’t feel like i’m writing this out correctly but also chinga tu madre (fuck you/fuck your mother? i think?). in english the first one that comes to mind is motherfucker]. also calls kids mami/papi a lot, not even just juanaflippa

he’s almost always written as either too nice OR too mean —

he’s not a one-dimensional piece of paper just there to either dote on slime or make his life hell. he jokes and teases and he has a bit of a harsh sense of humour sometimes, but he’s very rarely malicious in his actions. if he’s really in the wrong about something he’ll get defensive, but will eventually end up apologising

that said, again, he’s not always nice! he gives as good as he gets when slime picks fights with him, he and bobby had a very playfully antagonistic relationship as far as i could tell. it’s like picking playful fights is part of his love language

he was always very sweet to juanaflippa though :D except a few teasing jokes here and there. he was a good dad, besides the murder JHVSJD

speaking of his sense of humour —

it can be very… blunt? for lack of a better word? he says some bizarre shit with a completely straight face. best example i can think of is him suggesting he and charlie could play a porn game together because they wouldn’t have to talk. obviously that’s cc not character, but it carries over. or, alternatively, the circumcision bit on day 1. basically if u watch charlie more, look at his sense of humour and translate it into spanish — there’s a reason they get along so well :D zero normal people in this relationship. the most you’ll get is them occasionally passing the “straight man” role back and forth, getting bewildered at each other but ultimately going along with whatever the bit is

he’s not a cheater! —

i know. i know ppl like the angst. but he never actually cheated on slime, not beyond being kinda flirty with other men but then pulling back and saying he was married whenever they returned that energy. he’s a bitch, but a loyal one /silly

but seriously, qmariana loves his family so much. he always wanted things to work out between him and slime. the only mc skin of his that actually shows his hands has him wearing his wedding ring, for christs sake. he’s not an absentee father, and he’s not a cheater, he just likes to joke flirt with his friends

he’s very open about his emotions! —

i have never once known this man to hide his feelings or be stoic in any situation. if he’s sad he cries, if he’s angry or frustrated he yells and swears, if he’s happy he laughs. if you are writing mariana as a person to keep his feelings hidden you are Doing It Wrong. the most he might do is hide one emotion behind another, but he’s almost always showing something

he LOVES music —

this man will sing at any given opportunity. he quotes song lyrics out of nowhere constantly. english, spanish, doesn’t matter, he loves music. it is literally always worth it to have him singing a lullaby to juanaflippa in a fic because it is both very in character and very cute

#.txt #qsmp #qsmp mariana #there we gooooo #this is better #still open for people to add or correct things in the tags #i just wanted a better post for my own peace of mind

[vendetta-if]

How does the romance system work in this game? Will we enter a relationship with an RO once we reach a certain romance level? If we flirt with one RO then enter a relationship with another, will that negatively impact our relationship with that RO? I ask because I've been flirting with RO's to see what their romance path might be like as a way to choose who to go for, but I don't want to do that if it ruins my ability to have a platonic relationship with them

For the romance system, you’ll have to choose the romance options and choose to go down the RO’s hang out routes later on.

In each playthrough, you’ll get to choose 2 ROs’ routes to focus on later on and in those routes, there’ll be time to finally lock in the romance and for MC and the RO to finally become official (if you’ve been showing interest to the ROs, if you’re choosing their route too just to just strictly become friends, then there will not be any romance choice to become lovers).

And once you’ve locked in their romance and become official, I’ll grey out the flirting interactions with other ROs, since I’m not too comfortable or enthused about having to write that kind of stuff (I think I’ve talked about quite a while ago about not being comfortable about writing cheating stuff).

As for the flirting with all the ROs mechanics before locking in an RO, I will put them under the cut since I’ll be explaining what I currently have in mind and it’ll be quite long 😄

I’m not sure yet about flirting with another RO in front of the other ROs you’ve shown interest in as well (before becoming official) and its consequences. I think it’ll vary based on the ROs’ own personalities. Some are more okay and understanding of flirtatious MC compared to others, especially in the beginning.

For example, I think Skylar and Santana wouldn’t mind much if you guys haven’t been official, I think (subject to change); Skylar because they can be quite teasing and considered flirtatious as well.

Meanwhile for Santana, they would be more logical, thinking something along the lines of, “Oh, so MC is a flirtatious person, no wonder they’re flirting with me as well.” Or “Well, MC is not their partner yet, so they can’t really stop them from flirting with other people.”

But, as you keep showing interest in them (constantly choosing the romantic options) and have high romance points with Skylar or Santana and still flirt with other ROs in front of them later on, I think you might get some consequences. So, if you’re just being charming and flirting with them and other ROs in the beginning, it’ll be okay, but the longer you keep showing interest in them, but still have the gall to flirt with other ROs in front of them, they might feel sad and a bit hurt and feel like MC might just be stringing them along and is not serious at all about potential relationships with them.

Rin and Ash are more sensitive about that kind of thing (unless if it’s about each other, then, they would be more hesitant and a bit confused and conflicted 😂 Especially with the poly being possible). But, if you’ve shown clear interest in both or either of them, and then flirt with Santana or Skylar in front of them, you will get consequences.

For Rin, it might either be a decrease in their trust point, romance point, and/or in their friendship point. For Ash, it might either be a decrease in their romance point and/or friendship point.

At least, those are what I currently plan and have in mind 😅 I try my best to treat the ROs like real people instead of only characters.

Also, Uncle Luka will be exasperated with your MC 😂 “Get a grip, MC! Jesus, you’re even worse than Viktor. At least your dad just flirted and teased people instead of falling in love with all of them as well!” 😭

#asks #anon ask #if: vendetta #full cast ros #char: mc #ro: ash #ro: rin #ro: santana #ro: skylar #info #if game #if wip #dashingdon #choicescript

[maybeimamuppet]

the pursuit of a name

hello everyone!! 

i might as well reintroduce myself here since i’ll likely get some new readers! i’m ezzy and i’m 21, i usually write for mean girls the musical but i’ve recently watched the new matilda movie and hohoooo the hyperfixation resurgence was just. WOW so anyway! here i am lol

there’ll be more information for you towards the end but i don’t want to take up too much space at the beginning. 

tw for 

mentioned/implied abuse 

and please let me know if i miss any warnings so i can add them in!!

enjoy!!

—————

“I’m back,” Matilda says as she opens and closes the door to their place. 

“Hi, darling,” Miss Honey greets. “Is Mrs. Phelps well?”

“Oh, yes,” Matilda says as she comes to join her in the kitchen. “She gave me this for you.”

“Oh,” Miss Honey says as Matilda rests a well-loved copy of An Honest Thief on the table. “I’ve been wanting to read this again.”

“I know,” Matilda says with an impish smile. “Oh, she gave me extra lemonade for you, too.” 

“How nice of her, thank you,” Miss Honey says as Matilda puts the tin thermos on the table as well. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m working on a few papers to finalize your adoption,” Miss Honey sighs. 

“Oh.” Matilda says. 

“Oh?” Miss Honey questions, peeking at her over the tops of her reading glasses. “Are you upset about it?” 

“Aren’t you?” Matilda asks softly. “You look stressed.” 

“No, darling, no,” Miss Honey says immediately. “The forms have been… a challenge, just because we have no way of getting in touch with your biological parents. Some information I need, I can’t get. But there’s ways around the lot of that for circumstances like ours.”

“Oh.” Matilda says again. “What information?”

“Nothing I think you’d know, brilliant as you are,” Miss Honey sighs, removing her glasses and leaving them to hang by the chain around her neck. “Oh, but your middle name, what is that?” 

“I haven’t got one,” Matilda says quietly. “My parents said I was lucky I got a name at all.” 

Miss Honey sighs and gently tips up Matilda’s chin. “They were lucky that they got a Matilda.” 

Matilda gives her a small grin, but there’s a sadness behind it that makes Miss Honey frown. 

“We have the opportunity to change your name when your adoption goes through. Would you like to?” 

“I’m not sure,” Matilda says. “I… I am Matilda. I like my name.”

“We don’t have to change your first name if you don’t want to. Matilda is a perfectly suitable and lovely name for you,” Miss Honey says. “But if you’d like to pick a middle name for yourself, we could do that.” 

Matilda mulls this over. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” Miss Honey says comfortingly. “Take all the time you need. A name is a big decision.” 

Matilda nods. “I’m going to go put these in my bedroom.”

“Alright,” Miss Honey says as Matilda stands and grabs her large stack of new books. “Oh, that reminds me!”

Matilda pauses on the staircase and turns to see her. 

“We still need to decorate. Would you like to head to the shops today and see what we can find?” 

Matilda’s face splits into a wide smile and she nods eagerly. Miss Honey grins back and motions her up the stairs. Matilda heads up a few more before she pauses again. “Miss Honey?”

“Yes?” 

“Will I be a Honey too?” Matilda asks. “When I’m adopted?” 

“If… if you’d like to be,” Miss Honey says, trying to hide her excitement. “Is that what you’d want?” 

Matilda nods. “Matilda Honey sounds much nicer than Matilda Wormwood.” 

“Then you’ll be Matilda Honey,” Miss Honey confirms. Matilda smiles again and rushes up the stairs. 

—-

“What sort of theme do you think you’d like your room to have?” Miss Honey asks as they peruse the aisles of the home decor shop. 

“I don’t know,” Matilda says softly, holding her hand as she looks at all the different options. Dinosaurs, flowers, the circus, dogs, different cartoon characters… it’s overwhelming.

“That’s alright,” Miss Honey says comfortingly. “We can take our time with it. How about we start with a color, to simplify things? Do you have a favorite color, Matilda?” 

“Blue,” Matilda responds. “Would a blue bedroom be too terribly depressing?” 

“I don’t think so,” Miss Honey replies. “Blue is a very relaxing color, I think that would be a fine color to paint your room.”

“Do you like blue, Miss Honey?” Matilda asks, looking up at her. 

“I do,” Miss Honey says. “I think it’s a wonderful color. So many lovely things are blue.” 

“Like the sky,” Matilda says. 

“And bluebells,” Miss Honey says. 

“And the sea.”

“And your eyes,” Miss Honey says, gently tapping the end of Matilda’s nose. Matilda blinks in shock before she giggles faintly. “Let’s go pick some paint.” 

Matilda follows her to the paint aisle and looks around at all the different swatch cards. Miss Honey picks a few blue ones and starts perusing the different shade names. 

“These colors have very strange names,” Matilda says as she grabs a few too. 

“They do, don’t they?” Miss Honey chuckles. “Look here, this one’s called Lost at Sea.” 

Matilda giggles as she holds up one of the cards. “I’ve got one called English Channel.”

Miss Honey chuckles as she reads the one Matilda holds up. “How funny. It’s a lovely shade, though.” 

“It is,” Matilda agrees with a nod. “But I like this one.” 

“Light Sky,” Miss Honey reads through the glasses perched on the tip of her nose. “It’s quite peaceful.”

“Yes,” Matilda says. “Whenever I got overwhelmed before I could do my telekinesis, I used to imagine myself floating in the sky with the clouds. On a hot air balloon, or something. And I was so high up nothing could bother me anymore.” 

“That sounds lovely,” Miss Honey murmurs softly. “Would you like to do that in your room? We could paint the walls this color if you’d like, and add clouds.”

“Could we?” 

Miss Honey crouches down to her eye level. “We can do whatever we’d like.” 

Matilda beams and tackles her in a hug. Miss Honey squeezes her close and gently strokes through the soft ends of Matilda’s hair. They stay that way for a moment, both of them relishing in having someone dear they can hold close, before Miss Honey grabs the swatch card and heads to find someone to mix it up for them. Matilda follows, tightly holding her hand. 

—-

They start painting the next day. They were both quite exhausted after their shopping day, but Matilda is so eager to get started that Miss Honey can’t find it in herself to push it back any further. 

They don some tattered old things of Miss Honey’s that can stand to get covered in paint. Matilda giggles when she sees her in the ill-fitting and informal sweatshirt and jeans. Miss Honey laughs right back seeing Matilda swimming in an old button-down blouse with holes in the elbows and some shorts tied to fit around her waist. 

“Miss Honey?” Matilda asks as she takes a small brush to outline the electrical outlets. 

“Yes, Matilda?” Miss Honey replies as she rolls the blue over a section of the first wall. 

“What’s your middle name?” 

“My middle name is Faith,” Miss Honey says. “My father said that it took so much faith for he and my mother to have me that they hardly even had to think about it.” 

“Jennifer Faith Honey,” Matilda recites to herself. “It’s pretty.”

“Thank you,” Miss Honey says. 

“Is it very common to take someone else’s middle name?” Matilda asks as she outlines the light switch. 

“Not very common, I would think,” Miss Honey says. 

“Oh,” Matilda replies. Miss Honey smiles sadly. 

“Were you hoping to share a name?” 

“Not really,” Matilda shrugs. “I’m just looking for inspiration.” 

“I think you’ll know when you find the proper one for you,” Miss Honey says, finishing the first wall. 

“Matilda Faith sounds nice, but I don’t think it’s right for me,” Matilda replies. 

“And that’s perfectly alright. We’ll get your name sorted out whenever you find the right one for you,” Miss Honey says. She takes a step back to admire her work. “What do you think?”

“It’s brilliant,” Matilda says, unable to keep a smile off her face. 

“Good,” Miss Honey says, panting a bit for breath. “Hard work, isn’t it?” 

Matilda rests her brush on the tray and nods, coming to hug her. “Thank you.” 

“Of course, my little firefly,” Miss Honey murmurs, kissing the top of her head. “You’ve got paint in your hair.” 

“You smell of it.” 

“I think we’ll both need a bath after we finish here,” Miss Honey chuckles. 

They continue chatting as they paint the other three walls. Matilda eventually finishes all her outlets and joins in using the rollers. With the both of them working it goes much more quickly, though Matilda can only reach about three quarters of the way up the wall with hers and has to leave Miss Honey to do the rest. 

By the time they finish the last, the first wall has dried. Miss Honey cracks open the can of white paint they purchased and takes a sponge. Matilda watches curiously as she dabs it in seemingly random spots on the wall in front of her, until she pulls back and reveals a quaint little cloud. 

“What do you think?” 

“It’s fantastic,” Matilda beams. Miss Honey smiles back and holds out the sponge. 

“Why don’t you do a few?” 

Matilda takes the sponge from her hand and dips it into the paint. She picks a spot on the wall and stares at it, unmoving.

“Matilda?” 

“What if I ruin it?” Matilda asks worriedly. Miss Honey gently rests a hand on her shoulder and leans in to look from Matilda’s eye level. 

“Have you ever seen a perfect cloud?” she asks softly. Matilda thinks before she shakes her head. “Then how could you ruin it?” 

She gently slides her hand down Matilda’s arm and guides the sponge to the wall. Once it’s squished against the surface and the first splotch of white is there, Matilda’s fear dissipates the slightest bit. She pulls it away and dabs it around in a few more spots before she takes a step back to see what she’s done. 

A delightful, fluffy looking cloud sits before her. 

“Beautiful,” Miss Honey says. “Do a few more.” 

“What are you going to do?” Matilda asks. Her eyes widen as Miss Honey suddenly pulls out several tiny pots of various colored paints. 

“Skies with just clouds are boring, don’t you think?” 

Matilda smiles and nods. Miss Honey grabs a step stool and heads to the corner of the wall closest to Matilda’s window. 

Matilda sponges on another cloud as Miss Honey outlines a hot air balloon in a rainbow of colors. 

Miss Honey is beautiful when she’s concentrating on something. Matilda likes watching her read, or cook, or clean, or do paperwork. Anything, really. Her eyes aren’t angry the way her parents’ used to be. They simply look… excited. Welcoming to whatever this project she’s working on might bring her. 

Her hair is unkempt today, since they’ve been working so hard. Matilda observes the frizzy strands framing her face, illuminated from behind by the afternoon sun streaming in through the window. She looks like the angels in all those paintings in the books about art Matilda has read. Matilda doesn’t believe in angels in the biblical sense, but if there ever was a real one, it would be Miss Honey.

The silence between them is peaceful as they continue working on the accent wall. Matilda’s old house was always loud; whether due to her parents shouting at each other or just the ever-on television. It’s quiet, here, but in a comforting sort of way. Miss Honey doesn’t feel a need to speak all the time. Matilda appreciates that. 

Miss Honey starts humming a tune to herself as she works. She sings and hums a lot. Her voice is soft, and sweet. She almost never notices she’s doing it. Matilda often just sits and listens to the comforting, dulcet tones of her voice. She doesn’t dare mention the humming or the singing to Miss Honey’s face, lest she become self conscious and stop it altogether. 

Their home is quiet, but not silent. And Matilda is perfectly happy with that. 

-

The sun is beginning to set by the time they finish with their respective tasks. Miss Honey has painted the most beautiful hot air balloon Matilda could’ve possibly imagined, with stripes in every color of the rainbow holding up the little basket. 

“I think we need one last finishing touch,” Miss Honey says as they admire their handiwork from the other side of the room, hands resting pensively on their chins. 

“Finishing touch?” 

Miss Honey grabs the yellow paint and pours some into an empty tray. Matilda approaches in confusion, which only grows when Miss Honey sticks her hands into it. 

“Miss Honey!” 

“I think…” Miss Honey says pensively, looking at every little place on the wall. She reaches up high and places one hand on the wall. “Here.” 

“What are you doing?” Matilda giggles. Miss Honey lines up her other hand against the first handprint so it’s facing the other way and repeats the motion. 

“Come on,” Miss Honey coaxes, motioning to the paint with a smile. Matilda hesitates for a second before sticking her little hands into the gloopy yellow paint. Miss Honey comes up behind her and hoists her into the air. “Put one handprint there.” 

Matilda does, lining up her hand so it’s perpendicular to Miss Honey’s handprints and squishing it against the wall. She squeals slightly as the paint oozes and gets between her fingers. 

“And there,” Miss Honey coaches. Matilda puts handprints everywhere Miss Honey points to, and smiles as she’s rested gently back on the ground. 

“The sun,” she says when she sees what their handprints have made. 

“I think that’s the best sun I’ve ever made,” Miss Honey says proudly. 

“Our thumbprints made a love heart,” Matilda giggles, standing on her tippy toes to show the part where their thumbs overlapped. “There.” 

“I think that’s fitting,” Miss Honey says quietly. Matilda smiles up at her. Miss Honey smiles back. “Now, I think it’s time we leave this to dry and go wash up for dinner.” 

Matilda nods. Impishly, when Miss Honey turns, she presses a still-yellow hand against her backside. Miss Honey yelps and whirls around. 

“Oh, you little gremlin!” she says. Unlike all the previous times Matilda has heard those words, there’s not a hint of malice behind it. She squeals as Miss Honey lunges for her and leaves a print on her shoulder. Matilda grabs a brush and some of the unused paint in other colors and swipes some over her sleeve. 

Miss Honey grabs some purple and swipes some onto Matilda’s nose. Matilda gasps, going a bit cross-eyed as she stares at her purple nose. Miss Honey bites her lip as she tries in vain to hold back a laugh, like she herself can’t believe she just did that. 

It turns to a shriek as Matilda suddenly charges, armed with some green that she swipes all over Miss Honey’s jeans. Miss Honey retaliates by grabbing her and spinning her around in a circle, leaving Matilda laughing harder than she thinks she’s ever laughed in her life and completely unable to do anything other than sink to the plastic-covered ground in exhaustion when she lets her go.

Miss Honey laughs as she lies next to her, staring up at the as-yet undecorated ceiling. “Oh, you make me laugh, Matilda.” 

“You make me laugh too, Miss Honey,” Matilda says quietly. Unthinkingly, she reaches for and squeezes her hand. Miss Honey squeezes her back. 

—————-

“Mrs. Phelps?” Matilda asks the next week during one of her daily visits to the book bus. 

“Yes, Matilda?” Mrs. Phelps replies, her turbaned head popping out from behind a shelf.

“What’s your name?” 

“My name?”

“I’ve only ever known you as Mrs. Phelps. What’s your first name, your middle name?” Matilda asks. 

“Why do you want to know so suddenly?” Mrs. Phelps asks, sitting in her chair and pouring a glass of lemonade. 

“I just think a person’s name is a good thing to know,” Matilda explains. Mrs. Phelps doesn’t seem to notice her dodging the question. 

“My first name is Praveena,” she says. “And my middle name is Dawn.” 

“Praveena Dawn Phelps,” Matilda says. Mrs. Phelps nods. “I like your names.”

“Thank you. I like yours too,” Mrs. Phelps replies. Matilda sips thoughtfully at her lemonade. 

“Do you have any books about names?”

“I must, somewhere” Mrs. Phelps tuts. “Remind me to organize my sections.” 

“I remind you every time I visit, Mrs. Phelps.”

“You do,” Mrs. Phelps acknowledges. “Fat lot of good it does, eh?”

“Miss Honey and I could help you do it sometime,” Matilda says as they both scan the shelves for anything to do with names. “She’s been wanting to visit you more.”

“Has she?” Mrs. Phelps says, a bit louder than she needs to since she’s a slight distance away. “She’s always welcome.” 

“I’ll let her know. We’ll clear a day,” Matilda says. 

“Ah! Here we are,” Mrs. Phelps calls. Matilda rushes over as she pulls out a small stack of dust-covered baby naming books. “I’ll keep an eye out for others, but this should be enough to get you started.”

“Oh, yes, this is perfect!” Matilda says. “May I borrow these?”

“Of course, Matilda,” Mrs. Phelps says. “What are you up to? Trying to name a character in a story of yours?”

“You could say that,” Matilda replies softly, staring at the books in her hands. “Thank you Mrs. Phelps! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“By the windmill!” Mrs. Phelps calls as she goes rushing out the door. 

“Windmill!” Matilda yells to acknowledge she heard. Mrs. Phelps shakes her head affectionately and starts packing up for the day. 

—————

“Your new room is brilliant,” Lavender says upon seeing it for the first time. It’s come a good ways since the painting of the walls. Every day they add a little something. Matilda has a proper, massive, cozy bed with fluffy white sheets and pillows and blankets like a cloud. 

She has a huge bookshelf, large enough to practically take up the whole wall. Miss Honey has been taking her to bookstores as well as her visits to Mrs. Phelps at the library, so it’s filling up quite quickly. She has her own desk for schoolwork and a place to read. And Miss Honey even put together a special reading nook in the corner, with a plush carpet and rainbow-colored cushions to sit on, and a tulle rainbow curtain hanging from the ceiling like a tent. It’s everything a little girl could want from a bedroom. “Thank you.”

“What are you reading this time?” Lavender asks around a mouthful of bubblegum, lying on her stomach on Matilda’s new bed. 

“A book of baby names,” Matilda replies. 

“Baby names? What baby?” Lavender asks. She gasps suddenly. “Is Miss Honey-”

“No, she’s not,” Matilda interrupts. “I’m trying to pick my middle name.”

“You don’t have one?”

“No,” Matilda replies. “And I can’t find one for myself, either.” 

“My mum says picking my middle names was harder than my first,” Lavender agrees. 

“What’s yours?” 

“I’ve got three,” Lavender replies.

“Three?!” Matilda asks in shock. 

“My whole family kind of does. In the Philippines a lot of people have got two first names, and their mum’s old last name usually becomes a middle name,” Lavender says. “My parents gave me two first names and two middle names. But I count the second first one as a middle one.”

“That’s lucky,” Matilda says. “What are they?”

“My first name is Lavender-Maria,” Lavender says. “And my middle names are Elizabeth and Santos.”

“Lavender-Maria Elizabeth Santos Torres,” Matilda says. 

“In the flesh,” Lavender says with a nod. 

“How did your mother pick your middle name? The Elizabeth one, I mean?” Matilda asks, closing her book and gently putting it aside. 

“I dunno,” Lavender says with a small shrug. “She said she thought about names she’d seen and that she liked. In stories, and stuff. And she picked one from that. But she picked my brother’s because his middle name is our dad’s dad’s dad’s name.” 

“Stories…” Matilda mumbles to herself. She shifts so she’s lying flat on her back, looking up at her ceiling. Miss Honey hung twinkly lights all over it that look like stars when the lights are off. The lights aren’t on right now, since it’s daytime, but they’re one of Matilda’s favorite bits of her new bedroom. “What do you think my middle name should be?” 

“Lavender?” she suggests with a chortle. 

“I wouldn’t want to steal your name,” Matilda replies in complete seriousness. “But it is a lovely name.” 

“What are some of your favorite book characters? Just pick one of them,” Lavender says. 

“Ophelia,” Matilda says. She wrinkles her nose. “Matilda Ophelia sounds like a medical condition.” 

Lavender laughs harder than is probably appropriate. “Yeah.” 

“Sherlock Holmes,” Matilda says.

“He’s a boy.” 

“Yeah,” Matilda sighs. “Casy?” 

“Casy’s not bad,” Lavender says. 

“It still just… doesn’t feel like me,” Matilda grumbles. “How about… Josephine? Miss Honey’s been reading me Little Women before bed this week. She says Jo reminds her of me.”

“Matilda Josephine is just a mouthful,” Lavender says, blunt as always. Matilda nods with a sad sigh. Lavender clocks it, because she sits up and rests a friendly hand on Matilda’s shoulder. “You’ll think of something. You think of everything.” 

Matilda giggles at that. “Thanks, Lavender.” 

“What are best friends for?” Lavender says. 

—————

It takes another month of thinking, and another four name books Mrs. Phelps orders specially for her. Matilda spends practically all of her free time poring over what her middle name should be. She’s had a few that sound nice, but none of them have quite given her that… aha moment. That just right feeling, like the kind you get when a story has the perfect ending. 

She’s about to call off the hunt for a middle name altogether and stick to just being plain Matilda, when something Lavender said comes back to her. 

“But she picked my brother’s because his middle name is our dad’s dad’s dad’s name.”

A family name. 

Matilda never met her own grandparents. They never visited or called. She wonders if her parents even bothered to tell them she existed or not. She doesn’t know their names, or what they look like. Neither of her parents have siblings, so there’s no aunts or uncles to pick from either. She most definitely isn’t interested in naming herself after her parents.

She doesn’t have any family names to pick from. 

She fidgets sadly with a loose thread on Miss Honey’s duvet, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. Miss Honey is working on something for the school at her big wooden desk against the wall. Matilda listens to the sound of her pen scritching quietly across the paper in perfect, even strokes. 

Miss Honey says all the time that Matilda doesn’t have to ask for hugs when she needs one. And Matilda needs one now. 

She stands and pads over to the desk, wrapping her small arms around Miss Honey’s shoulders and resting her chin to peek over the left one. 

“Hello, darling,” Miss Honey says, resting a warm hand against Matilda’s cheek. 

“Hello,” Matilda replies quietly. 

“You alright?” Miss Honey asks. Matilda nods, so Miss Honey gives her a gentle pat and returns to her work. 

Matilda’s eyes wander over the desk. Everything stays in roughly the same place on Miss Honey’s desk. A snow globe that had been a gift from one of her students, a paperweight in the shape of a swan from another. Matilda’s eyes suddenly lock onto the photos of Miss Honey’s parents. 

“Miss Honey?”

“Yes, Matilda?” the woman replies. 

“What was your mother’s name?” Matilda asks quietly. The story that eventually led them both here told Matilda that her father’s name was Magnus, but Matilda never learned Miss Honey’s mother’s name. 

“My mother?” Miss Honey asks. Matilda can feel her smile as she reaches for the photograph. Mrs. Honey was a very beautiful woman. She gave Miss Honey her eyes, and she had dimples too. Matilda never met her, but even looking at the picture just fills her with a sense of love. “Her name was Katherine. But everyone called her Kate.” 

“Kate,” Matilda says. “Would… do you… do you think she’d mind if that became my middle name?” 

Miss Honey turns her chair around and gently takes Matilda’s little hands into her own warm ones, squeezing her palms. 

“I think she would be so honored,” she says. “That a little girl as amazing as you would want to be named after her.” 

“Really?” Matilda asks. Miss Honey has tears brimming in her eyes as she nods. 

“Really. From everything my father told me about her… she would have loved you so much, Matilda. You two would’ve been the best of friends,” she says, her voice trembling the slightest bit. 

“She sounds like I would’ve loved her too,” Matilda says, drying Miss Honey’s tears with little fingers. “As long as she liked to read.” 

“Where do you think I got it from?” Miss Honey asks with a chuckle, pulling Matilda into her lap. Matilda rests against her shoulder as they both look at the photo one more time. 

“Matilda Kate Honey,” Matilda says, more to herself than anything else. The words just feel… right, in her mouth. In her mind. She’s a Honey. And her middle name is Kate. Just like her grandmother. She does have a family name after all. “I love you, Miss Honey.” 

“I love you too, Matilda Kate.”

—————

thank you for reading!!

now to the boring stuff lol

i post on wednesdays!! not every single one, but when i do post things it will be on a wednesday so if you’d like to see more from me that is the day to keep an eye out! 

please feel free to leave requests, whether for these two or not and i will do what i can to make them happen :) 

i am, unfortunately for everyone involved, american, so i apologize for any inaccuracies in their britishness or for any differences in british systems and american systems that i’m not aware of. please bear with me!! 

with the exception of lavender (and likely a few other more ‘background’ characters) i’m going to do my best to leave them as physically vague as possible. for stories like these i think it’s more important that you as the reader be able to imagine whoever you want as these characters; whether that’s yourself, your favorite actor, or something else :) 

going along with that i did as much research as i could about how filipino people handle names but i am not filipino so i apologize sincerely again if anything with lavender wasn’t accurate.

i’m on wattpad and ao3 at the same handle so please feel free to pop in and say hello there if you’d like to!

i think that’s everything!! thank you so much for reading!! i hope you enjoyed and that you have a lovely day! 

#matilda #matilda the musical #matilda 1996 #matilda netflix #matilda wormwood #jennifer honey #miss honey

[kmilipede]

~ the devil judge fics that rewired my dna ~

so uhm here’s my small silly little list of some tdj fic that has altered my soul because let me tell you. when a tdj fic hits it HITS. so maybe there’ll be a fic here that you haven’t read that you’ll enjoy here

these are all gahan because yes and also all completed because i’ve been hurt too many times before. also i love all of these fics very dearly so they’re not in any order

➤ it’s here i’ll be with you by mcreary

➣ Mature, ~27k words, Post-canon, Angst with a happy ending

➣ Gaon keeps attempting to fix things, but somehow, one part always seems to be missing.

➣ for me, this is THE post-canon gahan fic. what stands out for me is while gaon may be awfully lovesick, he doesn’t completely isolate himself - still maintains and forms friendships with people. watching the development of this and the way he heals is EXQUISITE and it’s written EXQUISITELY. the yearning has a wonderful payoff too. it’s just really fucking amazing guys plz read it

➤ Gravitational Pull by Amethystina

➣ Teen, ~22k words, Ep 13 canon divergence

➣ As grateful as Ga On is that Soo Hyun rescued him from Bamboo Spear's violent mob, he can tell she's lying when she claims to have heard about it on the police radio. That explanation just doesn't add up. So Ga On pressures her to tell the truth and, to his surprise, she reveals that Kang Yo Han was the one who sent her.

That one simple admission sets off a series of events that Ga On could never have predicted — events that bring out feelings he's done his best to ignore.

And desires he realizes he might not be strong enough to resist.

➣ i like how this fic doesn’t ignore how strongly gaon obviously feels for soohyun - i mean she’s been the only person for him to rely on for years. yet despite that, gaon works through what he actually wants and feels and chooses yohan. i cannot get over how well gaon’s inner thoughts are written. in fact, i can not get over how well the characters are written, full stop.

➤ Once you say it out loud, it can’t be undone by Ivrigasked

➣ Mature, ~9k words, 5+1, Domestic

➣ Alternative title: Five times Gaon catches Yohan off guard, and the one time he sees it coming.

➣ sometime domestic-style fics can be overly sickly but this is not one!! love the follow of gahan’s relationship and it’s written so well and smoothly. the yohan pov is nice too :)

➤ Destroy Me More by saturate

➣ Explicit, 6.5k words, Ep 12 canon divergence, Sexual Content

➣ “What kind of monster am I becoming?” Gaon asks, then, and wishes he could regret it, this becoming. He knows that Yohan is a monster, in some ways. Knows that only another monster could stand on his level, be his equal, and Gaon yearns to stand beside Yohan with an intensity that hollows him out.

Yohan’s hand on his shoulder, his neck, his cheek. Gaon shudders. Wants more. Wants everything. “It may be hard,” Yohan says, and his ears are flushed red, like something in this is getting to him, too, “but it can’t be helped.”

➣ i love episode rewrites! really wish this is what happened in episode 12 ngl. absolute nailed the characters and their mannerisms and their incredibly hot dynamic. there’s some lines in this that making me go fucking feral - an absolute masterpiece when it comes to that and the writing overall is just great. i come back to this a lot just to scream

➤ Bedroom Hymns [series] by godotismissing

➣ Explicit, ~31k words, Sexual content, ….various kinks

➣ Kinky Gahan fics

➣ i mean it’s porn. but if you want some excellent tasteful well written porn for gahan these are all the PERFECT fics. some of these have pretty different …… premises but they’re all EXTREMELY hot and will unleash all the pent up tension you have after watching the amount of sexual tension they have in the show jesus christ

➤ underneath the waterfall by vi (imvi)

➣ Mature, ~21k words, Post-canon, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a happy ending

➣ They’ve always been different kinds of wounded animals.

➣ for me, this is THE other post-canon gahan fic. it hurts sososo much then carefully puts you back together. like gaon is very sad but yohan comes back to mend him and it’s just so. everything

➤ path of the fossils by noctevicos

➣ General Audiences, ~1.5k, Fluff, Intimacy

➣ “You can touch me, you know. You won’t hurt me.”

“I’m trying not to,” Yohan says, and then his eyes widen and he freezes, as if he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

Too late, thinks Gaon. I see you.

➣ i come back to this one a lot because there’s something so tender and delicate about it that i love. it paints such a beautiful picture. it’s written so wonderfully and it’s so just ugh everything i really just melt when i think about it

i may add to this in the future but for now. go show these fics some love 🔫

#the devil judge #tdj #kang yohan #kim gaon #gahan #the devil judge fanfic #fic rec #the devil judge fanfiction

[chenfordsrollisi]

For me, you’re totally right!!! The writing has been so terrible lately. I didn’t know where else to rant, so I apologize in advance for the HUGE rant.

It’s getting annoying and tiring that we have to follow up with so many different storylines.

It doesn’t even make sense anymore. I mean, we have at least five more villains. Of course, we knew some from before but it’s STILL unbearable. They tried to fit so much into an episode when it could’ve fit into an entire season.

For reference, there were a lot of unfinished storylines:

- Rosalind’s accomplice

- People targeting the police and someone taking out the “guy” behind it (why was it brushed over???)

I don’t know about you but I’m TIRED of Monica. There was a lot of screen time that could’ve gone to the main characters of the show but it didn’t.

But what I’m hating right now is the way Everton treats Lucy.

IT’S INFURIATING. After Jackson’s death, it seemed like she had no one other than Tim or Tamara. However, she doesn’t have either at the moment.

IT WAS ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE HER DAMN BIRTHDAY!!! Why did no one say anything? They (Angela and Nyla) also brushed off what she said about having 12 undercover identities. I don’t know about you but they’ve never been encouraging.

It’s sad and disheartening that her friend is a LITERAL teenager and treats her better than everyone else on the show. With Tim out of the picture, she’s alone. I mean, what happened to everyone’s friendship? It used to be Nolan, Jackson, and Lucy. I know they used to date but I mean, come on, they moved on so why shouldn’t they stay friends?

The fact that Nolan’s more friendly with his ROOKIE is baffling. (I love Celina by the way, this isn’t a diss.

I mean, what happened to character development? We don’t see much of Aaron or Celina. They waste so much time with storylines that fizzle out the next episode and don’t matter anymore because either Angela, Wesley, or whoever can’t (legally speaking) touch the criminals.

I’m more upset that they ruined Chenford. For drama? This show won’t be getting renewed in the future, maybe there’ll be an eight season but come on…It’s upsetting how we won’t see Lucy and Tim together anymore. Wasted five seasons of my life only for them to break up and end their relationship in one.

Personally for me, I believe Lucy and Tim are the ones who have TRULY been through it.

I mean, I understand everyone else has their stuff. However, Lucy has been kidnapped and nearly died. Her parents aren’t even supportive of her career. Her best friend died.

TRIGGER WARNING (ABUSE/SUICIDE)

DOWN BELOW

!!!

While Tim was abused by his father, found out about his father’s affair, had to sell the house he was abused in, etc. He went to war and now the whole thing with Mad Dog jumping off the roof!

Meanwhile, everyone else is happy. Sure, they went through so much but they AT LEAST HAVE SOMEONE TO HELP THEM THROUGH IT!

THESE TWO HAVE NO ONE!!! They aren’t married or have good parents!!!

Sorry for my rant, feel free to ignore but I’m sad about the turnout of this season. I wished they somehow got married and moved into a beautiful house far away from this chaos, and had at least three children by next episode but that won’t happen.

There's too much to try and keep track of in too few episodes.

The pacing of the episodes is utter crap because they tried to cram a full season worth of shit (which is usually 20 to 22 episodes), into half a season of 10 episodes.

So the storylines are all over the place. The characters are running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Don't apologize. I bitch a lot on this blog. No one I know in RL watches the show, so the only people I can rant to are other fans on here.

Where do you get 5 more villains? I thought it was 3. Monica, Blair and the guy who I think is mobbed up, that Lucy's working for as UC, and taking care of his kid. Who else do you think is involved? Oscar? I think he just did Monica a few favors. I don't see him as one of the villains of the season.

As for the unfinished storylines, I'd be very surprised if they finished them. The show has a lot of problems and this, and the timeline are major ones, imo.

I hate Monica and have ever since she came on the scene. All her BS doesn't interest me at all, and I want Angela to kill her.

Who is everton? I'm sure you meant someone else, because I don't know a single character with that name. So, I can't comment on it because I don't know. Do you mean Primm, the guy that stopped her from making Detective?

I hate that Lucy lost both Tim and Tamara this season. Also, don't get me started on the birthday bullshit. Tim's the only one who remembered and even did something for her.

John's supposed to be her friend, but ever since Jackson was killed and Bailey's stupid ass got with him, he's basically been like 'Lucy, who?'

As for Angela and Nyla, I'm already pissed that they were being assholes to Lucy earlier in the season. Angela only gets involved with Lucy, when it involves Tim. Nyla doesn't give a shit in any way.

John doesn't have time for Lucy. He's up his lame ass wife's ass all the time, and dealing with Celina's spiritual bullshit.

Honestly, while Celina has grown on me a little, I still like Aaron more and want him to have more screen time than her. But yet, I'm assuming their scenes were cut since there was only 10 episodes and they had to force the drama bullshit though, so their scenes were cut.

Yeah, I agree about Chenford. They've both been put through the ringer this season more than anyone else, and yet they get fucked over while everyone else gets to be happy. That's such bullshit.

I'll admit, I like drama. It makes shows interesting. However, when the drama and bullshit doesn't let up and my favorite characters are sad/hurt/lonely/abandoned all the fucking time, it doesn't make me want to keep watching, as it's too depressing.

#Asks #Answers #The Rookie #tv talk: the rookie

[okanra]

⚠️ Note: This post is about Dragon Ball Super, and is written mostly for recap and research purposes, but it involves a few real-life related topics and will be pretty long so you should treat this like a blog post. If you’re comfortable with this and still curious to see what this is all about, keep your mind open and let’s go! 🤓

MY THOUGHTS/CONTROVERSIAL TAKE ON THE CURRENT STATE OF DRAGON BALL SUPER and DRAGON BALL FRANCHISE AS A WHOLE, AND THOUGHTS OF THE FUTURE OF THE BRAND

- PART 1: INTRODUCTION OF THE COMICS and TIMELINES -

1. INTRODUCTION:

Hello everyone, if this is your first time seeing me on your dashboard, my name is Kah and I’m an artist who have been working on a Dragon Ball webcomic named “Trunks and Goten in High school AU”, starring Goten and Trunks since 2021 and is still ongoing.

It’s used to appear on Google a lot until the current arc of Super happened, and Elon Musk’s decision to deleted the Moment feature on Twitter (that was the main link that mostly appeared on Google about my comic). It’s an art project that I’ve been letting it sleep inside my head for ~20 years and finally decided to manifest it into existence while infusing my style in it, until it got unexpectedly “canonized” by the Dragon Ball Super creators in late 2022 while the project is still in the beginning stage, in a way that I couldn’t predict it.

It changed everything afterwards of course. For both myself and the fandom, and maybe, the impact of this will be bigger than we think it will be 🤔

I know there’s nothing for you to believe in what I’m about to say, and I won’t force you to believe them too, of course, you have no obligation to do that. That’s exactly why you should try and read this and decide of what to think yourself, it can be something quite worthwhile.

The time this blog post is written is in January the 3rd, 2023. The incident was in December 2022, I will include timelines and many other articles down below, as well as images for you to see things more clearly. For the current me, this post is a recap for research purposes, and since I’ll be using myself and my work as an example, there’ll be some unwanted personal feelings unconsciously mixed in, but I’ll try to keep my mind as most neutral as possible.

You’re about to read my real thoughts on the current arc of Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero since chapter 88, the similarity of my webcomic in it and many other deeper things, as well as my theory/glimpse at future of Dragon Ball franchise as a whole. I hope this read would be entertaining to you.

2. THE TIMELINE:

Before we get into the main topic, here’re some of my character designs and background visuals for my webcomic. If you can, read through some chapters as well, it’s not much but it will give you an idea of what to come next.

Ok so the first question to ask is, when did my webcomic project start? I say it’s around May 2021, in the midst of the Covid-era, when mostly everyone was quarantined at their homes. This webcomic art project is drawn so I can practice my drawing, storytelling and creative writing skills. It’s an indie project through and through, that takes a lot of time, effort and love. I don’t profit much from it tho, I mean my patreon is even opened in August last year and I didn’t even promote it much on any social media platform other than Twitter sometimes. So yes, the main purposes of it were mostly what I wrote above.

When did the current arc of Super start? Since 20th, December 2022. After the Granolah arc of the Dragon Ball Super manga ended, this is the arc that is currently running: the Super Hero arc. In appearances, there’re a bit of similar vibes from the manga and my webcomic in 2021, and while it may sound farfetched and like false accusation for everyone else, my intention is not exactly aiming towards that, it aims for something lying deeper. This is just the tip of the iceberg, that I would analyze and share a bit of it with you. Like I said, I would try my best to write it out as neutrally as possible.

From here on out, I’ll begin to list the entire timeline that leads to the current state:

- The last time Goten and Trunks appeared as main characters in canon was almost 30 years ago, I was talking about the Dragon Ball Z and Dragon Ball GT versions. Goten and present Trunks were not favored characters by fans, even when they have a small fanbase and have some fanworks throughout the years, they were still mostly listed as a funny dumb duo and unmarketable by the franchise. This leads to these two characters not being developed and touched upon by their creators for many years, because Toriyama is the type of artist that would draw because he likes it, yes, but he would cater to the masses of fans more (for example, a lot of his decision in the writing of Dragon Ball was suggested to alter into something else that fit the general audience more and he would mostly agreed, like his desire for Gohan to be the main character after the Cell arc, but Goku was brought back into the picture due to his iconic popularity and flat-character type, and that’s how we got 30 years of Goku’s journey). (what is a flat character: here)

This personality of his would later have a hand in him selling his ownership and license of Dragon Ball to Shueisha (main license holder), Toei (animation license holder) and Bandai (merchandise license holder). Akira Toriyama is the creator in name only, but big decisions are not depended on him. He’s pretty much like Stan Lee - the creator of Spider Man, but all the copyrights and licenses are hold by Marvel.

- In late 2019, I decided to re-picked up the Dragon Ball manga due to nostalgia. While remembering about my love for Goten and Trunks and seeing the lacked of content for them. Being forgotten by their own creators for unjustified reasons, I decided to write and draw my own story for Goten and Trunks, and published it to the internet since May 2021 on many social media platforms, but Twitter is where I’m the most active. And Twitter is the main international platform for many official account of Japanese brands, including manga, anime and of course, Dragon Ball.

- Any loyal Dragon Ball fans in the fandom community will know they mostly love the Toriyama style, and most will try to make their fan works in his style to honor him and the show itself (and will get more attention from other fans). And even though my webcomic is not as favorable as other Toriyama style fan arts and fanseries/fancomic due to the personal unique art style (I have my own drawing style) and differences in tone and storytelling (while the show mostly veers in the humor/gag/action direction, mine is more towards the dramatic/angsty/introspective side), it did raise the awareness to other fans in the community about the potential of the “forgotten half Saiyans”. Especially when two of my good friends that I usually talked and hyped with on Twitter are a Dragon Ball fanartist (@/amartbee) and a Dragon Ball content creator/YouTuber (@SLOplays) that always share official news of the show on his page, I included their handle names in here just for a few examples, in no way do I want to pull them in this whole mess of course. But anyway, both have a big following on Twitter, have big influences and love Dragon Ball.

- And they love my webcomic. The fanartist shared my webcomics a lot to her page and her community (blessed her), and while the content creator didn’t share it (except for a few times), he felt the love I have for Goten and Trunks that I put in my fan comics, and love them more and shared that feeling to his fans as well. So through my and their influences, the fans during the covid-era began to see the light on these characters, and want to see more of their potential as well as love them more. During this time, the Dragon Ball Super manga was in the Moro and Granolah arc, still focused on the journey of Goku and Vegeta defeating opponents in space, because they’re the fan-favorite, the icon of the brand for many years and Toei/Shueisha felt right to continue milking them for content and marketable purposes. Until the midst of 2021...

- After my webcomic started in summer of 2021 for a few months, the official account/website of Dragon Ball began to dropped the news of “DRAGON BALL SUPER: SUPER HERO” movie (in production) in late 2021. And everyone was curious over what’s this all about.

- Then in February 2022, we had the full key visual for DRAGON BALL SUPER: SUPER HERO movie like this. “That’s something we have never seen before right?”. Yes, indeed it was. It was. But everyone was ecstatic, including me.

- During the time of the movie being in the production stage, several visuals and interviews from the animation staff member as well as Toriyama himself were published online, twitter was always the fastest of course. Toriyama said he wanted to make Piccolo as the main character for this movie only, but Toei wanted to include Gohan as the co-protagonist to lure in the Saiyan fans, which held the more dominant side of the fanbase. Hence why the movie had two protagonists that were Piccolo and Gohan. But the weird thing is, they decided to finally include the Super’s teenager version of Goten and Trunks this time. They were drawn by Toriyama, but I can tell based on how good he was as a character designer, Toriyama himself didn’t think much about their designs due to how simple they were. This made me feel like they were not at the forefront of his mind, and more like he was “told to do”.

- When the movie was finally released across the globe from June 2022 until the rest of the year, we found out about the scene with Goten/Trunks was only about 2 minutes, and they did nothing major in the movie. This would later confirmed my theory of this movie being an experiment and a very clever survey from Toei to know the taste of the international fans at the time with characters other than Goku and Vegeta (because they had been milking them for almost 30 years and even when these two are still the icon, the taste of ithe fans have changed).

Despite that, their 2 minutes on-screen was enough for me, my friends, our friends and followers/fans to expressed our love for these two through likes, shares, fanarts and everything else.

- During this time, I still worked on my passion project aka the Goten and Trunks webcomic series, and with a few fan arts mixed in along the way. Still hyped with my friends and followers as a fan on many social media platforms. Love them, the hype in this fandom is real.

- After the movie was aired for a few months, in August 2022 chapter 87 ended with a note from the editorial staff that said the manga would go on hiatus to prepared for the next arc. This would later confirm my theory of “this break” being the time when the whole franchise and “Dragon Ball” brand’s marketing/research department to check on the stats from the movie (that acted as a survey for international fans) to know which direction to go next.

- Until August 2022, the official account/website of Dragon Ball dropped the visuals of the next arc, which included Goten and Trunks as super heroes, and this arc would be the arc before the Super Hero movie with them as the protagonists.

This is when I began to feel a queasy feeling that whispered something like “that was... Odd. Good but... Odd”. Because from the beginning of Dragon Ball Super until now, it has always been a Goku and Vegeta’s journey to space, there was no build up, no anything to lead to Goten and Trunks being protagonists at this point. Below are some examples from the Moro arc, they still remained in kid’s forms like what they have been for so many years like this.

- In November 2022, there’re leaks about the next arc of Dragon Ball Super aka chapter 88, and we found out this arc will focus on Trunks and Goten’s high school life, with Trunks as a protagonist and learn how to be a superhero.

This was when everything came crashing down on my head, shattered my rose colored glasses and connected all the dots. I decided to wait a bit longer to confirm my theory by reading chapter 88 and see the content in it. While most of the fans were ecstatic, because they finally got what they wanted: Goten and Trunks finally got their spotlight in canon; I was feeling nervous more.

- In 20th December 2022, chapter 88 got released and while it caught the eye of many fans from both Japan and the international, the first chapter of the arc got mixed reviews due to it focuses too much on Trunks’s crush on Mai to the point of forcing readers to accept it. I wrote this thread right after reading chapter 88, giving out my prediction. And later today, it got confirmed by Toyotaro himself in an interview: he did intend to put in lots of romance in this arc.

- But after all of this, I mostly saw the weird and lots of lots of “coincidence” in my theme and the Super manga theme. They are both alike, and TOTAL POLAR OPPOSITE. Imagine two similar (or same) products, but they are being produced under two different brands (in this case, it’s from a company vs a homemade one), with opposite directions and purposes.

We’ll continue the next part after this, it’ll dive deeper into the real life topics to emphasize my points and researchers. The theme of the next post aka part 2 will be:

THE CURRENT STATUS OF THE DRAGON BALL SUPER, THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE MANGA WITH FANS AND FANWORKS, AND THE FUTURE OF THE DRAGON BALL FRANCHISE AS A WHOLE

- end part 1 -

#dragonballsuper #controversial take #dragon ball super super hero #dragon ball #dbsuper #dbssh #truten in high school au #trunks #goten #my comic #akira toriyama #toyotaro #important #research #information #long post