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tillthelandslide · 7 months

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Insufferable Arsehole Part 14: Before You Go

Previous Part

Series Masterlist

Chapter warnings: mentions of spiking, forced drug use.

A/n: hello my beautiful people, I hope you're all well. I tried something different in the beginning of this chapter and did it in Matty's pov, I don't know if I like it but I'm sticking with it anyway. This chapter gives a little background into how they were before. I hope you like it :) not long now until this series is over :( if you have any ideas of things you want to see between these characters, like blurbs then please feel free to send them into my inbox :)

She stands across the room from me, the beautiful dress she's wearing, flows gently past her glorious hips and ends at the apex of her thighs, I swear if she spun around too quickly you'd see her underwear. The black fabric dips down against the swell of her breasts, two cups of lace edging the fabric. The little "M" catches the light of the room and sparkles, making my heart beat harshly in my chest. I want nothing more than to run my fingers along either side of the fabric, brushing against her -

"Matty, you're staring" someone's voice breaks me out of my thoughts, the voice of Charli, I feel her hand on my back, the only thing tearing my eyes away from Lou. My hand drops from my mouth, I now realise I had been playing what my lips. Ever since our argument things had been better than ever, I didn't think I could be more in love but here I was staring at the woman I loved wanting nothing more than to walk over to her, fall to my knees and beg her to marry me.

The black haired woman rubs her hand down my back and she laughs, I know why she's laughing and I'm not offended. Her opinion mattered to me and as long as she was happy for me, I truly didn't mind her taking the piss out of me.

"You are so whipped mate" she says and I can't help but chuckle, eyes snapping back over to Lou. George's arm was wrapped around her shoulders as she told a story to Hann and Ross, my three best friends hanging onto her every word, something about her just demanded that of people. "I don't blame you, just look at her"

"yeah…" my voice trails off as I look at her. The woman that commands the attention of everyone in the room with little to (and) often no effort. I'm reminded that despite her being that person, she wanted me, and I feel my chest thump harshly again. I'm easily distracted by her and have to snap myself out of my trance to finish my sentence "look at her"

I turn back to Charli, who I now notice is smiling widely at me, her hand dropping from my back.

"I'm really happy for you Matthew… and for her. I know I haven't said this yet and I'm unsure the boys have either… but it needs to be said" she begins and I feel my stomach soar before it sinks, worried she was going to be the bearer of bad news… and god knows despite the image I attempt to portray, my fragile heart couldn't bare any bad news.

"thank you" she says simply and her words confuse me, which is obvious by the way I tilt my head to the side.

"For loving her… she needed you" both our eyes drift over to her and I can't help but smile widely again.

I know there is a truth to her words, but I know I needed her more. I felt myself slipping, becoming someone I wasn't, she saved me, brought me back to the person Ive always been, or the person I've always wanted to be.

"I needed her more" I say although it's quiet, I know if I looked at Charli again she'd be smiling.

I watch as Lou's eyes snap over to us, her face immediately lighting up and a huge smile coming to rest against her mouth, her mouth that is coated in red lipstick, I hoped it wouldn't come off, because nothing was going to stop me from kissing her.

"Charli!!" I hear her say, she doesn't shout yet everyone seems to fall silent, allowing her to speak. That didn't happen with me, I usually had to shout over people to make them hear me, but people just listened to her.

Her smile makes a smile tug at my mouth, one of equal earnestness to hers. I watch as she absentmindedly plays with the necklace around her neck, a simple act, yet it makes my stomach flutter and my heart throb. I almost feel my eyes soften as I look at her, everything that is her clouding my mind. Especially when I notice the faint M on her chest, the small patch the only bit of her skin not caught by the sun. She hardly took the necklace off and that small detail had me wanting to hold her and never let go.

Her hands let go of the necklace and I watch as it falls, hitting her chest and bouncing slightly, before it swings back and forth, slowly stilling. I hadn't realised Charli had started walking towards her and away from me until Lou was wrapped up in a pair of arms. My vision widens, away from just her and I see her smiling at me, her chin resting against Charli's shoulder.

"come here" she mouths and before I can even register my feet are taking me to her.

"Was wondering how long you'd be standing over there for" I hear Ross say, I see worry etched across his features and I smile, letting him know I'm fine.

"I'm all good mate, don't worry" I say with a gentle pat to his back, I turn, now seeing Charli greeting George with a, not so gentle kiss. But what can I say? Lou and I were no better.

Lou turns my way and I stand for another moment, just watching her, not making any movements towards her. She looked beautiful as always but something about the way she looked tonight was blowing me away.

"Are you just going to stare at me all day Healy?" I hear her say, making my eyes snap to hers. A cheeky and teasing smile strikes my eyes and I chuckle, shaking my head at her, at her teasing.

"I might, yeah" I say, making her chuckle and then she's stepping towards me, arms hooking over my shoulders, meeting each other against my neck, shutting me in, not that I would leave now. My eyes flutter shut with the intrusion of her (a welcomed one), her scent invades my senses and forces me to shut my eyes as I breathe her in, immediately overwhelmed by her. She smells like vanilla and coffee and white flowers and orange blossom and home. She smelt like home, an instant comfort, like stepping through the door after a long day, like curling under the covers or being wrapped up in a blanket.

"Hi" she smiles, her voice sweet and the first time I had heard it all day, instantly feeling happiness flood my body. I had been wrapped up in getting things ready for the show, the first one of this leg of the tour, wanting it to be amazing. Jamie eventually had to tell me to take a break, "go spend time with your girlfriend" he had said, his words making me blush. No matter what, the fact she was my girlfriend wouldn't fail to amaze me.

"Hi… missed you" my hands gently clamp around her waist, pulling her closer, needing her against me.

"Missed you too… had to spend time with boys, how annoying" she jokes and it makes me chuckle. I can sense that she wants to ask me how my day was, but I can also tell why she doesn't, because she knew relaying the details would make me more stressed and I appreciate that. It also made me feel… special, that she knew that about me. That she knew me that well.

"Couldn't think of anything worse, could you?' she's laughing now, leaning forward to place a kiss to my mouth, nearly knocking the air out of me, something that always happens when she kisses me. She's pulling away faster than she leant forward, her lips barely pressed against mine for a second, not that I minded. It was enough, for now.

"How was it? Had a good day?" I ask, wanting to hear about it.

"yeah was good, had a little walk around the venue, not too far… met some lovely fans, all of whom commented on your lack of presence. Messed about for a bit, played some songs with G… was really good" she explains and it makes me grin, truly happy she had a good day.

"Bet everyone will think we've broken up or something" I comment, making her roll her eyes and chuckle.

"Probably, just gotta prove them wrong huh Healy?" She asks and I nod, leaning forward to kiss her again, needing my desire for her to be quenched somewhat. So I press a firmer kiss fo her mouth, taking her bottom lip into mine, not caring if the color stained my own. I tug at it at little, letting it snap back before smoothing it with my tongue, before eventually pulling away. Noting the way her fingers gripped the fabric around my shoulders.

"Would've liked to hear you and G playing some songs, what did you play?" I ask, but I feel myself getting distracted by the look she's giving me. I take in her darkening eyes, and feel her hands drift along the lapels of my jacket, tugging me forward slightly.

"this and that" she comments, I can tell she's just speaking them without thinking, clearly distracted by something, by me.

"We're going for a smoke" I hear George say, Lou's body slightly turning in my hold to look at them, I go to slip my arms from around her waist but her grip tightens on my arm.

"Want to join them?" I ask but she just shakes her head. I hear the sound of a camera in front of us, both our attention being drawn to the sound, seeing Charli holding her phone.

"Sorry you guys are just so cute" she says before George is pulling her with him.

"Come with me" I hear her say, my head immediately snapping back to her. Her voice was floaty and I know what she needs by the way her eyes are drifting along the expanse of my form, not knowing what to settle on, wanting to view all of me at once. I know this because I'm doing the same to her, but my eyes are finally setting on the way her bottom lip is tugged between her teeth.

I feel the desire of her warm my stomach and feel the way my eyes darken as I look at her.

"Need me huh?" I ask, knowing her all too well, she nods simply before she's pulling me somewhere. God knows where she's taking me but we both know I'd follow her to the ends of the earth, blindly and willingly.

She tugs my hand, leading me round several corners, giggling as she does, the soft sounds spilling from her mouth the best I'd ever heard. She halts in a corridor round the back of the venue, our music equipment flush against either side of the walls, leaving a slim gap which she squeezes through, pulling me until I'm flush against her. Her back rests against an amp and my hands quickly clasp around her hips, pulling her slightly away from it so it doesn't dig into her skin. But that's quickly forgotten when she pushes her lips against mine, her tongue finding mine within seconds, making me groan against her.

"god I love you"

They're all backstage, a few of them messing around, some sitting by themselves and doing mundane things. Ross and John are playing ping pong in another room but their laughter can still be heard from where Matty, George and Lou are sitting. Matty smiles at Hann and Carly who are cosied up onto a sofa, reading from a baby name book, throwing out suggestions for the group. His eyes flick from the couple to Lou.

He sits on a large leather sofa, George is sat two seats away from him on the other side, Lou rests against the middle seat, well her bottom does anyway. Her legs are curved and her socked feet are resting in George's lap, her head on a pillow in Matty's. Matty's hand drifts through her hair as she sleeps, the strands are soft and silky under his touch and he smiles down at her as she softly snores, barely audible. One hand is awkwardly hooked behind her, lightly holding onto George's hand, his thumb smooths over her knuckles.

George watches his friend as he stares down at his girlfriend, he feels proud of the man he is today, despite his best efforts to defend Matty's behaviour before, he found himself not liking the person he was around Lou. But now George thinks he's redeemed himself, in fact he's done more than that, he's become a man who is worthy of her love and a man who loves her exactly the way she's deserves.

George doesn't voice his pride, instead he just watches him, looking head over heels for the woman sleeping in his lap. His mind flicks back to one night all those years ago, when George thought Matty might start to redeem himself, when he acted uncharacteristically kind towards Lou, not that she remembers.

"Do you think you'd ever tell her about that night in Manchester?" George asks, his voice quiet, worried about waking her. Matty's eyes don't falter from the girl, he doesn't have it think about what night George is referring to. He knows straight away. It had been years since anyone had mentioned that night. Even now it makes him feel sick. That was the day he swore he'd change, he swore he'd do anything to protect Lou and to show her that too. Of course the day after came and all those promises got pushed aside. But he wishes they didn't.

The club is crowded, packed full of sweaty bodies, most of whom were pressed against each other, dancing and drinking. The room was cloudy, filled with smoke and it smelt like stale cigarettes and she could smell just a hint of weed.

She already feels like she's drunk enough but the girls she's with keep ignoring her pleas to stop buying her drinks, making her feel bad and practically forcing her to drink them. She feels refuge when she hears her name being yelled over the loud music, eyes snapping to her lanky best friend who's walking towards her. She smiles widely, standing and leaving the toxic people behind, she doesn't fail to notice how they practically purr when they see George and his mates, her mates (well some of them were her mates).

She thinks it's pathetic how desperate they were but one look over at the boys she can understand why they were acted the way they were. George wraps a protective arm over her as she meets the group, all (apart form Matty) greet her, Ross wanting to hug her himself, but George makes that a bit hard.

"Look good Lou" Ross says and she smiles, she sees George's jaw clenching and she scoffs at him, telling him to "pack it in". She adorns a black silk dress with a low back, two criss-cross strings holding it together. Her eyes hover towards Matty who is staring at her.

"You alright Healy? Seem a bit... Hmm..." She thinks "Shocked" it's the first time she's spoken to him in weeks and he hates that it makes his heart race. Her efforts to not sound drunk seem to work quite well.

"You wish" he says before he's walking towards the girls she was with, all of whom coo at him as he sits down, arm wrapping round one of the blonde ones. Lou watches as he whispers in her ear and watches the way the tiny blonde giggles like a school girl. It makes her want to be sick.

"Remind me why you're friends with them again?" Ross asks as he looks at the girls, a disgusted look on his face, one that makes Lou chuckle. She was glad someone was on her side.

"I'm not... Rose is but she's abandoned me for some guy... Or girl I don't know" she says, searching the dancefloor to try and find her friend but ultimately failing to do so.

"George come here a second" they hear Matty shout and Lou looks up at him, visibly seeing how conflicted the guy looked.

"You can go" she says knowing he wanted to.

"Sorry Lou, but they're really fit" he says pressing a kiss to her cheek. Lou rolls her eyes before stepping to the side. Ross takes the opportunity to wrap her under his arm now.

"Couldnt be anymore of a guy" she says, making Hann laugh. She looks up at Ross who chuckles too. If she were to look back at the table, she would've seen Matty, staring at the pair with his jaw clenched and hand clamped around the edge of his chair.

"Let's go get you laid" Ross says, pulling her to the dancefloor. Hann, who doesn't want to dance, decides to join George and Matty, not that he really wanted to do that either.

Ross and Lou dance together for a bit before they each find someone else to dance with. Ross finds a petite brunette, she's pretty and she compliments Lou on how she looks and says she recognizes her from some bar she once performed at, explaining how awesome she thought her band was, so gets her approval. Lou finds a guy who is clearly very attractive but is also clearly a douche. He's jawline could cut and his piercing blue eyes could well.. pierce, his brown hair was loose on his head in curls (much similar to Matty's) he was tanned unlike Healy. There were things about him that screamed Matty but others which couldn't be further apart.

Eventually, after some steamy dancing, they find the bar, the guy buying Lou a drink and then they make their way to the rest of the group.

Matty's jaw clenches when he sees the way the guy clamps his hand around her thigh, but what really gets him is the way she visibly squirms and downs her drink, clearly needing a bit more liquid courage to even feel comfortable.

The group talk, well shout over the loud music, and eventually they all get up to dance. His eyes are trained on Lou, so he's the first to notice a shift in her behaviour. The way she becomes clumsy, far too clumsy for someone who had just had one more drink, he knows her, and he knows one more drink wouldn't tip her over the edge, something was wrong.

He finds himself walking over to the pair, the guy practically grinding onto her limp body. Matty grabs him by his collar, making everyone's eyes snap to them.

"What the fuck did you do you douche?" He asks, and although the guy is far from small, he visibly cowers.

"What's going on mate?" George says, clamping a hand over his friends shoulder, who doesn't budge.

"Look at your best friend right now" Matty says, eyes unwavering from the guy and George's eyes snap to Lou. He gently takes her chin in-between his pointer finger and thumb, lifting it up to look at her. Her pupils are blown wide and he can see she has no clue what's going on around her. George really wants to beat the shit out of the guy but he chooses to take Lou in his arms instead.

"You fucking coward... Knew she wouldn't fuck you if you didn't slip her something huh?" Matty says, his grip on the guys collar tightening.

The guy doesn't say anything and that angers him more and in the next blink of an eye, Matty's fist is clenching, before it's swinging to hit the guy square in the jaw. Matty's swipes are relentless, each of the guys staring in shock, having never seen their mate act so ferally. Matty feels his blood boiling and it's as if something, somebody else has taken over his body, unable to stop his movements, until he hears a gentle mumble from Lou.

Despite her state she still manages to get the words out and they make him freeze.

"Matty... Stop" is all she says and his eyes snap to hers, seeing them close after the two words are spoken. He swears it's the first time she's ever called him Matty, usually opting for Healy or Matthew, her words usually laced with venom, but her voice is soft now and he knows he wouldn't hurt the guy again, if that's what she wanted. Matty tears his eyes away from her, his clenched fist, hovering by the guys bruised face.

Ross pounces forward, grabbing his friend and pulling him back before he goes any further. It gives the other guy ampule opportunity to run away, which he does

"Yeah fucking run away you dickhead" Matty shouts, accent very thick.

"Matty" he hears George say, his voice laced with sheer terror and worry. Matty's eyes snap to the girl in George's arms, the girl who's eyes were now closed.

"I don't know what to do" George says and as if a switch is flicked.

"Should we take her to the hospital?" George asks and Matty shakes his head.

"It's Lou, you know she'd hate that come here" Matty takes over. Arms hooking under her knees as he lifts her, carrying her out of the club as if she weighs nothing, the guys following all of them into the back of Matty's van.

"Hann, I need you to get water, lots of it" he says as he lies her down on top of some blankets which are scattered in the back.

Hann disappears then.

"Ross, I need you to take George away for a bit okay?" He says as he sees George panicking. George's eyes snap to his and Matty gives him a reassuring nod, letting him know he had her.

"I've got this okay? You can trust me, I've got her" Matty says and George nods. Every past event completely contradicted this one, yet he knew she'd be safe with Matty.

Ross wants to stay but also knows George can't be there right now, so he quickly fights with himself, Matty nodding at him too, before Ross leads George away and upon Hanns return, Matty closes the door to the van.

It seems like they're waiting for hours outside the van. George and Ross come back at some point, seeing Hann sitting on the floor, practically gnawing at his lip. George paces back and forth whilst Ross stares at the back doors of the van, just waiting until they open. No one knows what miracle Matty performs behind the van doors and despite all of his behaviour before, each of them trusted him with their best friend.

Her eyes slowly flutter open, she's placed in his arms, his hands soothing down her face, her hair clung to her sweaty head.

"Hey Healy" she says, voice still floaty, as if she wasn't truly there with him.

"Hi pretty girl" he says, the first time he's been earnest with her. He knows it's because he can be right now, she wasn't going to remember this.

"I like this face" she admits, grabbing his cheeks and smushing them, making him laugh. Her happy expression disappears a second later and she frowns.

"I dont feel very well Matty" she groans. He frowns down at her, his thumb soothing across her cheek.

"I know darling... I've got you though, you're safe and you'll feel better soon" she smiles up at him, a dopey smile that lasts barely three seconds before she frowns again.

"You hate me... Why are you being nice?" Her words are fumbled and he has to really focus to unscramble them but he does. Her eyes flutter shut and he can tell she's fighting sleep. They open again and her eyes erratically flick around the van, unaware of her surroundings but then her eyes land on his again and he watches as they soften.

Her eyes flick to his hand and her hand shakily finds his, thumb soothing over the knuckles coated in blood, flinching when he flinches.

"Matty...." He wishes she'd say his name again and never stop saying it. He knows in that moment that her saying his name, is his favourite thing in the world.

"Go back to sleep yeah?" He says knowing she just needed to sleep it off now, she nods and her eyes are shutting again.

"Hmm, you smell nice" he smiles at that, heart fluttering.

"Before you go... I don't hate you sweetheart, could never hate you" he knows she doesn't hear his words but they needed to be said.

Matty slowly opens the back door, coming to stand with the other guys. He instantly pulls George into a hug.

"She's alright guys" he says loud enough for all of them to hear.

"I'm going to drive her home okay? I didn't drink anyway. G you wanna come with? Stay with her until tomorrow" Matty says, his questions followed by a demand and of course George nods.

"You two going to be alright getting home? " Matty asks and Hann and Ross nod. Ross pulls Matty into a hug and he thanks him, Hann does the same. George and Matty then get into the van and Matty starts driving home, eyes flicking between the road and the mirror, making sure she was still okay.

"Thanks mate... I was pathetic back there... Thanks for taking over and helping her" George says and Matty nods at him.

"Of course" they sit in silence for a bit before Matty speaks again.

"Hey look... Can you not tell her that I helped her? Just say you did it. Please" Matty says, pleading with his best friend. George looks at him, taking in every feature, every indicator that told him Matty desperately needed this. He couldn't understand why, he knew that if Lou knew Matty was the one that helped, she'd immediately forgive him for everything he had ever said or done... But George still nodded his head.

"Yeah, if that's what you need" George says, feeling sad.

"it is"

She wakes in her own bed, not knowing how she got there. George comes in and explains the events of the night, telling her he was the one that helped her, just as Matty asked.

"Thank you G, you're the best" she hugs him tightly and George frowns. He had just lied to his best friend.

"Don't think it would change anything" Matty says, finally looking at George.

"Think she'd realise just how much she did mean to you back then... Even if you did try to hide it" George says.

"Maybe... I dunno though G... It sounds weird, but... I kind of like, no not like, I..." He pauses to think. He didn't know how to explain what he was thinking.

"I remember it and she doesn't.... And it's not like I like that but... in that moment I got to have her in a way I always wanted... I got to be the one that helped her. And it feels weird to say but I liked it... I guess... Would've preferred it under different circumstances but still" Matty explains.

"But you don't want her to know that?" George asks.

"What if she hates me for it George? What if she resents me?" He asks, fully turning his body to face his friend, Lou slightly stirring in her sleep.

"Hate you for helping her?"

"Hate me for keeping a secret. For making you lie..."

"She's not like that... She wouldn't be like that. She'd be so thankful that you helped her"

"I dunno G"

"Trust me. I know you know her... But she's been my best friend since we were babies.... I KNOW, she wouldn't hate you for that" George says.

A little later on Matty sits her down, she rests against the edge of the bed, Matty stands in front of her and explains the true events of that night and to his surprise, she doesn't hate him for it, in fact, she laughs, which doesn't make much sense to him.

"You know I remember that right?" She says and she laughs when she's sees him visibly nearly have a heart attack "well I thought it was G, guess when he told me it was him, my mind thought it filled in the gaps" she says and his eyes are begging for her to explain.

"I like this face" she says and he remembers it instantly "it makes sense now... I wouldn't have said that to G... I love him but I wouldn't have told him that, he already knows" she says, laughing to herself and he smiles.

"So you remember what happened but didn't remember it was me" he says and she nods.

"And now you know it was me?" He asks.

"Well it makes a lot more sense for one... And it makes me love you even more" she says, pulling him towards her and hugging him tightly.

"I love you" she mumbles against his stomach.

"I love you too pretty girl" he says, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head.

"You know if you had told me that at the time I would've forgiven you... I would've forgiven you for everything" she says, pulling away to look up at him.

"I thought you hated me too much back then... Thought the fact I was the one that helped you would've... I dunno annoyed you?" He says and she shakes her head at him.

"Youre a silly man healy... But god I love you" she says.

"You know I thought I might lose you that night... Was so terrified of losing you and I didn't even have you the way I wanted... But I knew in that moment I'd do anything not lose you and I thought if I told you, I'd do exactly that" he admits and her face softens, glassy eyes finding his as she grasps his face.

"You'll never lose me Matty, I promise" she says and leans forward to kiss her.

"Promise." He confirms.

"I'm going to marry you one day" she says and it surprises him. He eagerly presses his lips to hers, smiling against her mouth as she giggles.

"I like the sound of that" he says as he maneuvers them up the bed, pinning her to the mattress as their lips bruise against one another.

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cult-of-the-eye · 4 months

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Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski as a jmart song:

"there's nobody better than you/it just took me a while til I knew"

Fuck it's so Jon talking to Martin. He sees Martin as a better person than him, both morally and literally in terms of humanity and it fits his whole S1 ew martin to S4 oh martin arc so well

"but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you/it just took me a while til I knew"

Yep yep yep that's Martin. He loved Jon from the start. Of course Jon's admitting that. And of course he's doing it in such a self deprecating way.

Read more cause this is long

"now I lay as I study a blank wall/would you spare me your voice if I call?"

Ok so we're in Martin's Peter Lukas era right now, Jon is fully pining he's completely checked out and dissociating and he needs Martin to ground him, to be his anchor and he's reaching out in a way that puts the focus on Martin's next move as opposed to him calling which is SO HIM

"Cause you waited and watered my heart 'til it grew/you just grew a little smarter, too"

Fuck he's like you treated me so well, you waited so long for me to like you back but then you realised it was futile and stopped, but obviously you would do that because you're an angel and blameless

"So, I don't blame you/If you want to bury me in your memory/I'm not the girl I ought to be, but/Maybe when you tell your friends/You can tell them what you saw in me/And not how I turned out to be"

Jon's love is just so self deprecating I feel like, he's so acts of service, he's like it's ok that you don't want me, I get it, I'm not loveable but at least I seemed loveable for you to have crushed on me for that long

And and cause Martin's separated from jon, the only thing he has left is his memory of him, the one that lives in his head

"There's some kind of burning inside me/It's kept me from falling apart"

Oh yeah this is so them like Jon's had this drive within him, this incessant need to keep going, to keep finding things out, to keep burrowing deeper into the problem and it's kept him alive cause it's kept him ambitious and it's kept him from being stagnant but it's also been destroying him from the inside cause he can't stop

"And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart/But it's kept me from falling apart"

But Martin sees this, Martin knows who Jon is and it's almost a plea to try and accept that what's driving him isn't a good thing

"Now here I lay as I wonder about you/would you just tell me what I'm meant to do?"

Jon's like how do I get Martin to come back, how do I get him to be near me, ive tried everything, just tell me and I'll do it

"Cause I've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew/you can see how it's blossomed for you"

Its like a look, you waited for me, now I'll wait for you, I'll take care of myself in your absence to show you how much I care about what you've done for me, I do love you, finally, thank you for waiting all this time

"And I don't mean to make your heart blue/But could we be what we're meant to be?/I'm just about to beg you, please"

God I'm so feral for this last bit

Jon's like I know me begging you to come back is hurting you but I'm finally giving into what you want, you need to come back so we can be together like we're meant to, he's at the end of his tether, he's pleading while threatening to plead

"And then, when you tell your friends/You can tell them what you saw in me/And not the way I used to be"

I'll be better for you, I promise vibes.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #jonmartin songs #jmart songs #goodbye my danish sweetheart #mitski #tma brainrot #tma character analysis #song analysis #oh my god this has GRIPPED MY BRAIN

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mountttmase · 1 year

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A Mountain To Climb - Chapter Twelve

Note - I can’t believe this is the final chapter 😭 I’m gonna do a soppy thank you post tomorrow but thank you for coming on this journey with me. I’ve loved this so so much and please let me know what you think 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 3.2k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

Four Months Later

‘Jesus Christ, I’m gonna need you to get that thing off right now’ Mason laughed from the doorway and you turned to see Mason looking at you with wide lust filled eyes and his tongue practically hanging from his mouth.

Tonight was Chelsea’s end of season dinner and Mason had invited you along as his date about two and a half months prior, claiming all the other guys are taking their girlfriends and you watched his face turn a healthy shade of pink as he realised what he’d referred to you as. You knew you were together but you hadn’t had that chat yet so the fact he’s referred to you as his girlfriend made him feel a little awkward.

‘Shit, sorry. That kind of slipped out. I’ve been referring to you as my girlfriend to people cause I didn’t know how else to say it I mean-‘

‘Mase it’s okay’ you laughed resting your hands on his shoulders and running you thumbs up and down his neck gently as if to comfort him. ‘Ive been referring to you as my boyfriend’ you told him sheepishly, your own face flushing as he smiled down at you.

‘Oh, well I guess solves that then’ he laughed before placing a loving kiss on your lips.

Two and a half months later, you were stood in his room in front of his mirror so you could look over yourself. The floor length black satin dressed hugged your every curve and you were happy with how you looked in it. You’d gone shopping with Sophia to find something and she was adamant that this one was one for you.

Mason on the other hand seemed infatuated with you, slowly making his way over as he licked his lips seductively. you knew he wanted you, he always did at the most inappropriate times but you were going to hold you ground today and make him wait.

‘You like?’ You winked and you brushed your hands down your body. You knew he did and you felt pretty confident in it yourself but the look in Masons eyes boosted you.

‘I don’t think there’s a word in the English language that could let you know how I feel about this. About you’ he told you as he gripped your waist. You couldn’t deny you felt the same as you looked over him in his suit. It fit him like a glove and and you couldn’t wait to peel it off of him later but Mason seemed to not want to wait. ‘I’m serious though, baby. There’s no way I’m gonna be able to go a whole night without fucking you first so just help me out here’ he laughed, reaching for the zip of your dress but you moved too quickly for him and his hands fell away from you.

‘Mason, we have to leave soon’

‘In 20 minutes yes. I made sure I was ready early cause I knew this would happen. Gives me time to be late like normal’ he told you, and you laughed at the fact he had it all figured out in his head. You were sticking to your guns though as you didn’t want to go out a sweaty mess as you’d spent so long getting ready.

‘Nuh uh lover boy. You’re gonna have to wait till later’ you laughed as he followed you out of the room like a sad puppy.

‘Lover boy, eh? I quite like that’ he winked as he checked his phone. ‘Come on love, the Uber won’t be here for ages, just let me make you feel good’

‘Sorry Mase, I’m putting my foot down, you’re being a very naughty boy’ you joked, prodding your finger into his arm as he passed you in the kitchen.

‘That may be, but you better make sure you’re a good girl for me when we get back’ he whispered, opening the fridge to pull out a bottle of champagne and your body tingled at his words.

After a quick glass, you jumped into the Uber and made your way out. The dinner was being held at cobham, and as you made your way into the huge room full a tables and you felt anxious instantly. Mason must of felt you stiffen as he was reading over the seating chart and he pulled you ever so slightly closer to him before leading you through the room.

‘Don’t worry gorgeous, we’re sat on the same table as Kai and Sophia. Pretty sure Ben is on our table too he told you and you instantly relaxed knowing that you would be with people you knew and when you arrived at the table you realised Sophia was patting the seat next to her for you.

‘I’m so happy to see you’ she squealed, pulling you into a hug and you both sat and chatted for a while, drooling over each others outfits before Mason tapped you on the shoulder.

‘Two seconds, love. I just wanna introduce you to someone’ he smiled and you walked a couple of steps with him before you were looking in the eyes of a tall Spanish man with curly hair. ‘This is Kepa, Kepa this is my girlfriend y/n’

‘Hola Señorita’ he smiled, taking you hand and kissing the back of it gently. ‘Mason tells me I’m your favourite’ he teased and rather than be shy and you decided to play Mason at his own game.

‘That’s right, I even asked for your shirt but he said I wasn’t allowed’ you pouted and Kepa looked to Mason with a disapproving stare.

‘Mason, how could you? Don’t worry, I’ll let you have mine from the first game of next season’ he winked at you and you felt Masons hands sneak around your waist as he was clearly growing jealous.

‘Thank you, Kepa. See Mason, look how nice Kepa is’ you told him in a fake sickly sweet voice, causing him to roll his eyes at the pair of you.

‘Yeah yeah, whatever. Come on, we better go sit’ he laughed and you all said goodbye before making your way back to your seat.

Masons hand didn’t leave your thigh for the whole night and even when he looked to be struggling to eat he still wanted to be touching you. You thought it was sweet but you felt sorry for him so you squeezed his hand to get his attention.

‘Come on, Mase. I’m not gonna disappear if you stop touching me’ you joked and as soon as he moved his hand away from your leg, you went to make a run for it. He grabbed a hold of your waist to pull you in even closer to him, both laughing your heads off at your little joke whilst everyone around you looked on with confusion.

‘What the hell is wrong with you two’ Kai asked with a laugh before Sophia lightly tapped him on the chest.

‘Leave them alone, Kai. They’re in love, it’s sweet’

Both of your heads snapped around to look at each other, eyes wide to try and gauge the other’s reaction to Sophia’s statement. You hadn’t mentioned those words to each other yet and the petrified look on his face made your heart thud in your chest. You smiled at him widely, leaning up to kiss him on the nose in hopes it would settle his nerves. You wanted to let him know it was okay and whatever his feelings for you they were reciprocated and even though the thought terrified you, you knew you’d have to be the first one to say it as he’d been holding back as to not make you uncomfortable. When you pulled away, he was staring down at you with warm eyes before placing a quick heavy kiss on your lips and bumping his nose against yours as you pulled away.

When dinner was over, Sophia took you to meet some of the other girlfriends and you didn’t realise how much time had passed until Mason came up behind you and kissed you on the cheek.

‘Sorry ladies, do you mind if I steal this one’ he asked and they all smiled at him, a few aww sounds being chucked around as he kissed your temple before placing his lips to your ear.

‘Come dance with me?’ he whispered and you nodded shyly before following him to the crowded dance floor. The music was slow, and he held you tightly at your waist as your circled your arms around his shoulders. ‘I’ve missed you’ he whispered against your lips before kissing you slowly and you smiled as he pulled you even closer.

‘I haven’t been gone that long’ you giggled as he carried on showering your face with gentle kisses making your tummy flutter.

‘Long enough’ he grunted as his hands started to wonder over your back. Sophia was right, you were in love with him and you could feel the words bubbling up from your chest as he smiled down at you, wanting to tell him first so that he knew it was okay.

Your placed your lips next to his ear, taking a deep breath before whispering ‘I love you’ shakily, in hopes he could hear.

By his reaction he definitely did, spinning you around once before dipping you back and kissing you through your giggles. He slowly bought the pair of you back up, eyes glossy and a look of relief on his face as he smiled down at you before taking your face in between his hands.

‘I love you, too. So so much’ he laughed before kissing you gently, feeling like the only two people in the room. ‘I think it’s safe to say we’ve reached the summit now’

‘Does that mean it’s all down hill from here?’ You joked as he placed his arms back around your waist.

‘Nuh uh. No way. We’re mountaineers now, baby. You and me are living up here in the clouds from now on.’ he smiled and you laughed at his words, tears forming in your eyes and they quickly spilled from the corners which made Mason frown but your smile still remained which settled him a bit. ‘What’s the matter, love?’ He breathed and you shook your head lightly to let him know you were fine.

‘Nothing at all. These are happy tears’ you told him before he kissed them away gently, resting his forehead on yours as you both slowly swayed from side to side. ‘You remember when you told me that us meeting was fate?’ You asked him and he nodded down at you with his lip trapped between his teeth. ‘I think you might of been right’ you laughed and he burred his face in your neck, placing small kisses against any section skin he could access.

A few hours later and you were making your way out, legs tired from your new shoes that Mason had gifted you just for tonight and he must of been able to tell by the way you were dragging on his arm and the small whimper that escaped your lips as you caught sight of the 20 or so steps that lead down to the waiting car.

‘Everything alright, sweetheart?’ He whispered in your ear and you looked up at him with a pout. Without another word he scooped you up and carried you bridal style down the stairs with everyone laughing and cheering behind you. ‘Such a princess’ he winked and you laughed before kissing his cheek and then the side of his nose to let him know you were thankful for him.

Once home, you kicked your shoes off immediately before he lead you upstairs and you already knew what was in store for you.

‘You gonna be good for me now?’ He whispered in your ear, guiding you into his bedroom from behind as you felt his hard length pressing up against your back. ‘You looked unbelievable tonight. Prettiest girl in the room by a mile but I can’t wait to get this off of you’ he teased as he began to unzip you but you suddenly remembered what you had on underneath.

‘Mase wait, I’ve got my big granny knickers on to hold me in. Just look away’ you laughed and he was about to protest but didn’t want to wait any longer so he turned away as you shimmied the dress from your body and laid it on the back of a chair. Mason did as you asked and was looking away from you as he undressed himself down to his boxers, making sure to hang everything back up before he flopped back down on the bed with his hands over his eyes.

‘You ready yet?’

‘I’m ready’ you breathed, quickly removing your black lace bra as he sat up on his elbows, eyes scanning your naked body with a smile before he nodded his head to make you come over.

‘Good, now come sit on my face’

‘What?’ You laughed, taking his hand as he tried to get you to hover over his face.

‘You heard, take a seat baby’ he winked and you just shrugged before straddling his face, hands resting on his chest as you got a good look at the tent forming in his boxers.

He started slowly, licking up and down your folds gently so he could get a taste of you and ease you into things carefully. One of your favourite parts about Mason was his tongue and you knew he knew this. It never took long to have you whimpering his name as you rocked over his face and the hands he had wrapped around your thighs kept you steady as he circled your clit.

The only thing you could see was his bulge threatening to break out of his boxers so you slowly leant forward, to release him and he groaned into you as he realised what you were doing. His abs contracted under your lips as you kissed your way down to him, making sure to pay special attention to the mole on his tummy just like you always did before finally freeing him and your mouth watered at the sight of him.

You didn’t want to take him too far in as you knew you still had your makeup on and if your eyes started watering you’d have black streaks all down your face so you sucked on his tip as he bucked up into you but you could tell it was about to be messy. You came off of him with a pop before taking him in your hand, pumping him gently as he continued to burry his face into you. It was getting harder to concentrate on both and soon enough his hands moved to you hips so he could move you up.

‘Lay down for me sweetheart’ he spoke against your thigh and you shuffled over until you were on your back. His face taking up position back at your core and he was quick to pump his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace as he sucked on your clit. The feeling was overwhelming and you could feel him pressing on your hip with his free hand to stop you bucking up into the air.

‘Fuck, Mason. That feels so fucking good’ you whimpered and you felt him growl into you, the vibrations heightening your pleasure and it wasn’t long before you were cuming all over his tongue. You felt him lick away at you gently, cleaning you up before he looked up at you, kissing his way up your body before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. You started squirming underneath him and he knew exactly what you wanted but he was trying to make you beg for it as he switched over to your other nipple. ‘Mason, please. Please fuck me’ you whined and you felt him smile into your chest, happy he was getting his own way.

‘Shhhh’ he breathed, kissing you softly as he thrusted himself inside you in one push. You arched your back off the bed as you sucked in a deep breath, almost winded by the force of his hips but he didn’t offer you any respite, pounding into you straight away. ‘You can take it baby’ he reassured you, threading his fingers through yours as he held the at the sides of your face.

‘Maseee’ you moaned and he pounded into you, hitting the spot you needed repeatedly, just like he always did. ‘Mason please’

‘Good girl, that’s it. Always so fucking good for me aren’t you?’

‘Mhmmm’

‘You know you are, don’t you? So polite in front of everyone else but they don’t know how well you take me’ He spoke into your ear and you wrapped your legs around his waist to keep him there, pressing them into his back as he bucked into you faster. ‘Come on baby, cum for me’ he whispered and it was all you needed to push you over the edge. When he let out a string of curse words you knew he was done too, falling on-top of you gently whilst you both got your breath back.

You both stayed where you were for a few moments as he placed tiny gentle kisses to you neck before pulling out of you and helping to stand before you made a dash to the loo. Once you’d sorted yourself out you came back to find him in his boxers on top of the sheets with his face in his phone.

You quickly pulled on a top of his and some clean underwear before joining him and he pulled you into his chest almost immediately.

‘Am I allowed to post this?’ He asked, showing you a picture of the pair of you on his phone that Sophia had taken tonight and your heart was thumping at his suggestion. ‘I know we’ve never posted each other before but I’m pretty sure people know I’ve got a girlfriend and I wanna show you off a bit’ he shrugged and you laughed into his neck.

It was true, you hadn’t ever posted pictures of each other before, yet you both liked to leave silly comments under each others posts sometimes so you were aware so people knew about you but it was all unconfirmed.

‘I suppose people will find out one way or another. Might as well make it obvious’ you winked and he laughed before hitting post and putting his phone down so he could deal with the chaos tomorrow.

‘I love you, y/n’ he breathed kissing your head as you settled down next to him.

‘I love you, too’ you giggled, pulling the duvet over the pair of you. ‘Thank you for climbing the mountain with me’

Tagged: @alwaysclassyeagle @ricsaigaslec @cinderellawithashoe @vip-access @majx00 @chelseagirl98 @mountpulisic @chaotic-taco-collector-blog

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kararomanoff · 1 year

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Katey’s baby

this was written by a minor, if that makes you uncomfortable then you do don’t need to read.

warnings; smut, daddy kink, g!p kate, innocence kink, p in v sex, loss of virginity, pet names, stalking, drugging (tell me if ive missed anything)

you saw Kate everywhere but not once did you pick up she was stalking you, one day you go for ice cream with her and you become tired, you wake up at her place with an ache in between your legs but luckily Katey can fix it....

i love daddy kate

kate had first meet you at a dinner for all of mr. Banners students, she watched as you sat in the corner in your pretty pink dress with your stuffie alone. As Kate watched you she knew she needed you, that you would need her. Eventually she came to sit next to you but you don’t look up, continuing to stare down at your bunny stuffie.

“hi honey” she says softly and you look up smiling at her “I’m Kate”

“I’m- I’m y/n” you spoke nervously unsure how she would react to you.

“who’s this sweetheart?” Kate questions pointing to your beloved stuffie and your smile grows to a tooth grin.

“pebbles” you said hugging pebbles to your chest. For the rest of the dinner you spent it together.

From that day Kate met you she knew that she could change your life, she could keep you feel safe, hold you and give you everything. She was going to do that, she had too for you or that’s what she would say.

You saw Kate all the time although it’s was never planned you just bumped in to her every where, of course to others that would be weird and suspicious but you never once thought that you where just so happy to see her.

even once Kate had left collage, you still bumped into her after every lecture, even once going into your apartment building. it had never once occurred to you that Kate was stalking you, you where to innocent to realise that and that make her love you imposable more.

as your walking home from your lectures today a car pulls up beside you and no matter how innocent and unaware you are you where still not comfortable with that until the window rolls down and you see kate sitting in the drivers seat ''hey sweetie, wanna get ice cream?''

''YESS!!!'' you scream jumping up and down

''get in then honey and we can go'' you open the car door blissfully unaware how Kates car has been following you for months. Once you put your seatbelt on Kate starts driving toward the ice cream shop near her house.

''what a nice surprise'' she says as if she hadn't planned how she was going to drug your ice cream and finally make you hers.

''mhmm verry super good surprise to see you katey'' she loved when you called her Katey, it was so cute and little sounding.

''what do you want baby?''

''im not sure, can i decide when we get there?'' you ask not noticing you already are

''honey we already are here'' Kate says in a soft loving voice

''ohh'' you say in shock, that was fast ''emm.....ohh can i have vanilla with raspberry sauce and sprinkles'' you ask kicking your legs, dreaming about the ice cream.

''of course little one'' she was so happy you where going along with her plan because it was going to help you even if that ment she had to drug you and it was going to send you to sleep for a bit and make you feel things you won't understand, she'll be there to fix it, to be your daddy.

Kate comes back with your ice cream she had drugged and her normal one getting back in the car and handing you your ice cream ''THANK YOU!!!'' you exclaim, giving her a giant hug ''careful baby you don't want to spill your ice cream'' Kate yet again spoke softly hiding her excitement.

she watches as you lick you ice cream wondering how long it'll take till she can have you, till she can feel your tight virgin walls around her dick.

''Katey i feel tired'' you say with hooded eyes and that answered her question because you where only half way through your ice cream

''oh honey you can sleep, i'll dive to my house and then you can wake up in a nice cozy bed'' that way she's not kidnaping you and your not going to be as scared when you wake up.

''but what about my ice cream'' you pouted and she laughed ''i'll get you more honey don't you worry your pretty little mind'' her voice was soft with a dark hint but you'd never notice that. she could tell that now it was really hard for you to stay awake trying to fight the drug.

''okay Katey'' you say already half asleep as she takes your ice cream and puts in the bin.

Kate finds in hard not to stare at your cute face as you sleep but she need to get you home, where you belonged, with her.

when Kate arrived at the mansion she had bought with her parents money she carries you out the car, through the house and finally to the special room she had been perfecting for months just for you.

she laid you down on the bed and she sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. all she had to do now was wait.

In about 3 hours you started to wake up very slowly until you opened your eyes and look around the room till you found Kate, your eyes filled with the look of desperation.

''katey'' you called needing her close to you

''hi love did you have a nice sleep?'' Kate walks over to you till she's sitting on the end of your new bed.

''katey-'' Kate cuts you off

''im your daddy baby, call me daddy'' she was full with lust but again you'd never notice. ''now what's wrong sweetheart?''

''i feel weird daddy, i don't know what it is'' pour thing you sounded so confused.

''where do you feel weird little one?'' she knew but still she was going to ask because you didn't, you duck your head in shyness not wanting to say.

''do you feel weird here?..........'' Kate cups your aching pussy as you nod ''do you want daddy to fix it for you baby?''

''you can fix it?'' you ask in shock, god Kate found it so cute how you had no idea.

''yes baby daddy can fix it and it'll feel so so good'' Kate said as she started to undress you and herself, you didn't even ask one question when she started doing so which surprised her, it seemed you really wanted it fixed.

As she pulled off her last piece of clothing, her boxers, she noticed your stares on her cock, even if you didn't understand this or know what it was you wanted it.

''you like it princess? that's gonna go inside of you and fix everything'' your eyes open wide as you stare at it.

she climbs on top of your naked body, running her cock through your folds then filling you in one thrust as you scream out in pain ''daddy it hurts'' you whine

''but little one it'll feel so so good in a minute daddy promises'' she starts her thrust fast loving the feel of you tight walls she had been dreaming of.

it took you a few minutes to start moaning instead of screaming and it was music to Kates ears, she always knew you where going to be a great fuck toy.

''daddy daddy d-daddy'' you repeat her name over and over and she never wanted it to stop she wanted you hear you scream it with her dick down your mouth and tears streaming down your face.

she felt you wall tighten around her already and she brough her hand down to your clit rubbing is slowly and softly as you screamed out in pleasure.

''daddy- i-i feel weird again'' you whine and she knows your going to cum

''let the feeling take over baby, that the bit that fixes everything'' she promises and not even 5 seconds later you cum on her dick as you felt the most wonderful feeling you had ever felt.

even when you had come down Kate continued to thrust in to you, each one of your whines only making her closer to her high ''daddy 'ts to much'' you spoke in a baby like voice

''i know sweetie but daddy need to fix her pain too'' as soon as Kate said that you stopped whining, like you for that one orgasm understood how she couldnt stop, not that she would if she could but still, the fact that you had heard what she said and then just lied back down to let her fuck your hole made her reach her high ''good girl, such a good girl'' Kate spoke as her cum shot into you.

you cuddled into her as she came down from her orgasm.

''im gonna take it out now baby''

''cant it stay in daddy please'' you begged and Kate couldn't believe it but she was most definetly not going to say no. such a good baby and fuck toy for daddy already, Kate thought

''of course baby'' you cuddled into her more at her answer

''you did such a good job, im so proud of you baby........ but next time its going in your mouth'' Kate rasped

#kate bishop #kate bishop fanfiction #kate bishop smut #kate bishop x you #kate bishop x reader #hawkeye #hawkeye tv #hawkeye series #hawkeye show #marvel #fanfic #mcu #wlw smut #lesbian

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dragonflylady77 · 11 months

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definitely better than being dead

a 'billy didn't die' day fic

Also on Ao3

I wrote this over the past day and a half, rushing to finish it on time, while it's still July 4 somewhere.

@spaceofentropy @fizzigigsimmer @lovebillyhargrove @shieldofiron @darleenjade

++++++++

When Billy comes to, everything hurts.

He keeps his eyes closed, even though the space around him feels dark, and slowly takes a tally of where it hurts: hands, sides, chest, back, feet too...

He listens to the noises in the room and the regular beeping of a machine close by tells him he’s in a hospital.

Huh.

This is new.

Neil never lets him go to the hospital, not unless he absolutely has to, like that time before they left Cali—no, not thinking about that.

Billy listens harder. There, breathing that’s not his, rustling of clothes as whoever is sitting by his bed shuffles to get more comfortable.

He tries to remember what happened, how he got there but it’s a blur. He knows something crashed into his car, and he remembers being pulled into that dark building on the side of the dark back road but after that, only pain. It’s fragmented, he’s getting flashes of people’s faces, horrible things that… thing… made him do, oh fuck, Heather, I’m so sorry, then the girl with her hand on his face and her mind in his memories.

It comes back to him, the beach, the wave, seven feet tall, the evil monster he helped build and how… the thought makes him feel sick.

He pushed back with a roar to protect the girl who brought him back to himself, his arms still hurt from the effort that took. There were fireworks then there was just excruciating pain and darkness and he thought he was done. He wanted to be done.

Yet somehow he’s still here. Breathing and hurting. He realises his hands are clenched into fists and wills his fingers to unfurl. It’s a slow process that takes all his concentration. One of his fingers touches something warm and Billy freezes. Shit. He hadn’t meant to make contact with whoever is by his bedside.

His eyelashes flutter open and everything is blurry at first. He sees a flash of red then he is being squeezed tight. Too tight.

“I can't breathe.” His voice sounds like gravel from disuse and he is craving some water. The arms around him relent a bit but don’t go away. Billy can’t remember the last time someone hugged him.

“Oh Billy, I’m so happy you finally woke up.” The voice is trembling but he recognises it.

“Max? What…” Billy is not sure what he wants to ask so he stops. Lets himself enjoy the closeness like the touch starved loser he is and wonders how long he’s been lying in a hospital bed.

He moves his arm to wrap it around Max and she burrows closer, her face against his neck and he feels wetness against his skin. Tears? For him? Surely not.

“Why are you crying?” He has to push the words through dry lips, his tongue feels like it weighs a ton. It just makes her cry harder. Billy is very confused but the thirst for water wins over the thirst for answers. “Wa… need water…”

“Hang on,” a voice he didn’t think he’d hear again says and a cup of water with a straw in it appears in front of him. Billy tries to lift his free hand but it’s too much effort, he’s been lying in a coma for too long and the IV in his arm makes it uncomfortable. He lets out a long defeated sigh and closes his eyes again. Max is still hugging him, and he lets her, even though his chest is starting to hurt again.

“Let me help,” Harrington says. Billy opens his eyes and Harrington is holding the cup and the straw closer so Billy can take a couple of sips. The cool liquid soothes Billy’s throat but too soon, Harrington takes the cup away, telling Billy he needs to start slowly, to let his body adjust to it again.

“I’ll go tell the nurse you’re awake,” Harrington says, putting the cup on the table at the foot of the bed and turning towards the door.

“How long…?” Billy manages to ask as Steve opens the door.

“A hundred and forty-seven days,” Harrington replies without turning around.

The door closes softly behind him and Billy is left alone with a sobbing Max and even more questions than before.

“Max.” He squeezes her arm to get her attention. “Max, sit up. What the fuck is going on?”

Wiping her eyes with her sleeves, the teenage girl sits up on the side of the bed and takes his hand in hers. Her eyes look bluer than usual in the low light of the room and she looks thinner than the last time he saw her.

“Shitbird, why are you here? Why is he?”

“I’m here every day,” she says with a sniffle. “Steve gave me a ride because Mum was too drunk. Today is Thanksgiving so she started earlier than usual.”

“Thanksgiving? What the fuck? Where’s…” He couldn’t say it. Wouldn’t say it, lest it made the man barge in to teach him a lesson again.

“I know you have a million questions, and I promise I’ll answer as many as I can.”

“Okay.” Billy is still very confused but he figures Max’s promise is better than nothing.

The nurse comes in, followed by a bunch of doctors and Max hops off his bed and goes to stand with Harrington by the window.

Billy loses track of them as he is whisked out of the room for a plethora of tests.

When they wheel him back to his room a couple of hours later, he’s even more exhausted than when he woke up from his five-month-long coma.

He smiles at the nurse giving him his pain relief, nodding when she mentions a tray with his dinner. Soft diet, she said. He doesn’t think that will be anything too exciting. He might get ice cream and jelly, though, which would be nice. They gave him some when he went to hospital with a broken arm when he was ten.

But instead of the nurse, Steve Harrington comes in through the door holding a tray and a bag.

Billy feels a surge of excitement at the sight and, try as he may, the anger and antagonism that coloured his every interaction with Harrington before that fateful night are nowhere to be found.

Billy is left simmering with his attraction for this boy and the non-stop craving for his touch. He grips the sheets with both hands to stop from reaching out. Harrington wouldn’t want Billy to touch him anyway. Pretty boy deserves better than this. Billy is damaged goods, even worse now than before, and trash like him doesn’t deserve love, Neil taught him that.

“Are you okay?” Harrington asks when he stops at the end of the bed and sets his precious cargo on the table.

Billy nods, all his focus on not reacting. Can’t let him know. Hold it in until he’s gone, like every other time. Billy finds it’s harder than it used to be.

“If you say so, it’s just…” Harrington looks at the monitor hooked to Billy then back at him. “Your heart rate picked up when I came in, it’s a lot higher than it was earlier.”

“I don’t know, man, I’m not a doctor.” Billy shrugs then nods towards the tray. “Is that my dinner?”

“Um yes, jelly and ice cream and what looks like chocolate milk. The nurse said you were allowed soft foods so I brought you some mashed potato and gravy, and some pumpkin pie Mrs Henderson made. I checked with the nurse and she said you’d be okay to eat the filling.”

“Why?” Billy asks when Harrington wheels the table closer. Billy starts on his super nutritious dinner with gusto. He hasn’t had ice cream and jelly in years so he’s going to enjoy it.

“Why only the filling?” Harrington looks confused. “If you don’t like it, that’s fine, I’ll just—”

“No, pretty boy, why are you here?”

Fuck. The nickname slips out before Billy notices and now Harrington looks embarrassed, his cheek a little pinker than before. But then he looks straight at Billy, and there’s that fire that Billy was looking for last year. Feels like a million years ago.

“I can leave if it’s easier,” Harrington says and that’s the last thing Billy wants. Max promised him answers but she left before he could get any. He figures Harrington might know a lot.

“No, don’t.” Billy sighs, looking down at his hand clenching on the spoon. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s late, I’m hungry, I’m sore and I missed the last five months of my life. You probably have better things to do on Thanksgiving than entertain the guy who beat you up last year.” Billy glances up to find Harrington’s brown eyes fixed on him. “I’m sorry for that too.”

Harrington laughs. “That was a long time ago, Billy. I got over it, especially once I realised how it must have looked like for the outside. Then…” Harrington looks sombre for a moment. “Then you sacrificed yourself to save the world.”

“Sorry it didn’t stick.” Billy looks away, dejected. Always on the outside. No friends for Billy, no, sir. Trash, loser, reject. Appetite gone, Billy drops the spoon in the tray and gives the table a shove. It rolls away just enough to be out of the way.

“Don’t say that.” Harrington comes over to sit in the chair Max was occupying earlier on the side of the bed.

“It’s true. You’re all better off without me around. Especially my family.” Billy curls up into a ball on the bed, facing the side Harrington is sitting on, because he’s weak.

“Bullshit!” Harrington exclaims, taking Billy’s hand in his and Billy can’t help but stare at their hands as Harrington links their fingers together. “Max has missed you so much, Billy. She’s been here every day once we found out where you were. She sneaked out of the house at first then once your dad left—”

“He left? Neil’s gone?”

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have dropped it on you like that, I’m so sorry. Billy, we thought you were dead, there was a funeral. Then about a month later, your dad, he…” There are tears in Harrington’s eyes and Billy isn’t sure he wants to know anymore.

Harrington clears his throat, squeezing Billy’s fingers before he continues, “Your dad emptied your room and put everything on the curb. He, um, he was gonna light all of your stuff on fire and she screamed so much and so loud some of the neighbours came to check what was going on. She got him to change his mind as long as she could find someone to take the boxes away. She called me on the walkie-talkie and told me what had happened. We piled all your stuff in my car and put it in a corner of my garage.”

“Um, yo-your parents okay with that, Harrington?” Billy asked, wiping his eyes on a corner of the sheet with his free hand. If ever he’d needed a reminder of how much his dad hated him…

“Steve,” came the reply, with another squeeze of his fingers before Steve added, “I don’t give a fuck, I haven’t seen them since last Chrismas anyway.”

“Wow.” That explained a few things, Billy thinks. Like why Steve is always surrounded by the Weird Kids Gang. Must get lonely in that big house, no matter how much money you have in the bank.

“Yeah, you don’t have the monopoly on parents who suck,” Steve said with a sad grin.

“Clearly. How did you find out I wasn’t dead?”

“Oh, well the Byers moved to Cali at the end of July and about a week after that, I got a call from El in the middle of the night. That’s the girl you saved from the meat monster. She, um, she said you were alive and she knew where you were.”

“How the fuck would she know that?” Billy was getting really frustrated with the way the answer to any question always brought more questions.

“Okay, um…” Steve takes a deep breath and locks eyes with Billy. “I’m gonna need you to listen while I explain. I swear it’s all true and I’ll answer any questions after, okay?”

Billy nods. He has no fucking clue what’s going on but he’s never seen Steve this serious before, and they had History together senior year.

“That thing that attacked you was a creature from another dimension. The kids call it the Mind Flayer. It’s like, made of smoke, until it finds a host. It attacked Jonathan Byers’ brother last year and we thought we’d managed to get rid of it that night you found me at their house. It comes from this dimension that’s a warped copy of ours, filled with monsters, creatures with flower heads and lots of teeth. We, um, we call it the Upside Down. El was raised by a complete psycho who kidnapped kids and did experiments on them that gave them powers, like, mind powers, I’m not really sure how it works. She can see in the Upside Down and she can find people in this thing she calls the void. She can open portals into the Upside Down as well and fight the monsters. Again, I’m not sure how it works, but she kinda lost her powers after the big showdown at Starcourt Mall and we all thought that was that.”

“But then she rang you in the middle of the night?”

“Uh huh. Then we had to wait for her to make it back to Hawkins. That’s when she told us about a portal at the bottom of Lovers Lake and—”

“Steve,” Billy interrupts because he had to. He is getting a bit sore lying on his side so he rolls over onto his back, leaving his hand in Steve’s.

“What?”

“How come I never knew this fucking town has a thing called Lovers’ Lake?”

“I don’t know, Billy. I’ll take you if you want. Can I finish the story now?”

Billy stares at Steve, waiting for him to realise the enormity of what he said. He knows when Steve does because his cheeks turn pink and his eyelashes flutter.

“Oh. Um. Billy, I—”

“I’m tired. You should leave.” Billy doesn’t want to hear anymore. Harrington doesn’t look like he’s going to punch Billy in the face, maybe because he’s in a hospital bed and Harrington feels sorry for him. Billy isn’t sure what the hand holding is about but he doesn’t need anyone’s pity, he knows that much. Billy starts pulling his hand away but Harrington doesn’t let him.

“Billy…”

“What?”

“I almost lost you when I didn’t know I could have you, you really think I’m going to let go now that I know you want me back?”

“What are you talking about?” He knows he sounds defensive but that kind of talk gets you beaten up. He pulls again and this time Harrington lets go of his hand. Billy glances up at him and he looks tired.

“I found your notebooks, Billy. The box they were stashed in was all fucked up and they fell out so I moved them into another box and I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have, but I had a look in one of them.” Steve blushes. “More than one of them, really. You’re an amazing drawer, Billy Hargrove. I think you made me look way better than I do though.”

“No, pretty boy, you really are that pretty,” Billy mumbles, unsure how to feel right now, but when Steve reaches out for Billy’s hand again, Billy lets him.

“Thank you. Like I was saying, we found that portal at the bottom of the lake and me and Jonathan went in.”

“Byers helped?”

“Well, Max wanted to come with me.”

“What the fuck, Ste—”

“I said no, obviously. Hoo boy, she’s scary when she’s angry, and looks a bit like you too.” Steve’s eyes widen at the memory and Billy can’t help the snort that escapes.

“Shut up.”

“So, yeah, Jon came with me, and we found you where El had said, covered in vines. Took us ages to axe them all off and carry you back to the portal. Then we had to swim up real fast, which, let me tell you, is not Jon’s strong suit,” Steve finishes with a chuckle.

Billy can work out the rest, since he ended up in a hospital bed, but a couple of things are still puzzling him. “Steve…” The name feels still new on his lips but he’ll keep saying it if that’s the way Steve looks at him when he does. “My dad…”

“Ah yes, the model parent. He skipped town the day after he tried to burn all your belongings, I’m afraid. The house was in his name so Max and her mum had to move out. They’re renting a small trailer at Forest Hills, across from Eddie Munson.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, Max spends all her time with the rest of the kids when she’s not at school or here with you.”

“But why? I don’t understand. She hates me, you all do, I was a complete asshole… and then…” He doesn't want to think about that again or he’ll cry for sure. He’s always crying. At least now he don’t have to worry about Neil finding out.

“Then you saved all of us. Max… um, she told us about your dad.”

“Great.” Billy feels the tears roll down his cheeks and he does nothing to stop them. Everyone knows about him now. They all hate him or pity him, or both, he’s not sure which is worse.

He has no family, no house to go back to, no money, no car. He’s stuck in this fucking hospital bed in fucking Hawkins, Indiana until they kick him out. “You should have left me where you found me.” His voice sounds hollow, even to his own ears.

“Don’t say that. It’s not—”

“It is true. I was better off dead. Where am I gonna go when I get out of here, Harrington, huh? I have no one. Nothing. And my car… Fuck!”

“I told you to call me Steve. And, well, I was hoping you’d come live at my house.”

“Your house? I don’t understand. Steve, why…?”

“Well, for starters, all your stuff is there. Oh, and your car is there, she’s all fixed up and ready for you.”

“You fixed my car?”

“No, because I don’t know anything about cars, but I paid this guy I know to fix her. It was the least I could do, since I was the one who crashed into it.”

“But why would you do that? Steve, why?”

Steve gets off the chair to sit on the edge of the mattress, his hand still holding Billy’s, his fingers moving to link with Billy’s. “Billy, when you faced the monster that day at the mall, I got so scared because I realised I’d never have the chance to tell you how I feel.”

“How you feel about what?” There is no way the fucking tears are going to stop now, not when Steve is sitting on his fucking bed, clasping his hand, his thigh pressing into Billy’s hip. Being so close to the one person he’s ever wanted, Billy can barely breathe.

“Two years ago, Will Byers ended up in the Upside Down.

“Okay…” What? Billy is confused at the change of subject.

“He was there for a week,” Steve continues, his thumb stroking Billy’s knuckles as he speaks. “His mum and Hop found him and brought him back, and he said he hid in the place where he felt safest.”

“Right.” Where is Steve going with this? Billy doesn’t have a safe place, not in Hawkins anyway, and even if this Upside Down is a copy of their world, there is little chance Billy would have made it to California on foot, with monsters chasing him.

“You want to know where we found you? Where your safe place was?”

Billy nods. This is the longest conversation he’s ever had with Steve and the most confusing.

“You were in my room, Billy. In my bed. Do you know how you ended up there?

“That was real? I thought it was a dream. It was so dark, I was so scared and needed to hide. I found your house and that was the only room that felt safe.”

Steve smiles before leaning closer, his arm resting on the other side of Billy. “I’m glad.”

The closeness and the smile on Steve’s beautiful face make something warm spread inside Billy’s chest. “And why is that, pretty boy?” he hears himself ask, looking into brown eyes he hasn’t seen that up close since they played basketball together.

But instead of replying, Steve presses his lips to Billy’s and Billy stops breathing. He freezes until Steve moves back a fraction.

“Billy? Is that okay?”

“Again…” Billy brings a hand up to tangle in Steve’s hair and pulls him closer. Is this what being happy feels like? He feels the tip of Steve’s tongue on his bottom lip and opens his mouth, welcoming him in, swallowing Steve’s moan when Billy tightens his hand in Steve’s hair.

Steve Harrington is kissing him like Billy always dreamed of and he wants Billy to live at his house? Definitely better than being dead.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #dragonflylady77 #happy billy didn't die day

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mechacringekitty · 4 months

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incredibly messy essay of my thoughts on darkstalker, straight from my DMs with a friend because they demanded i post it [which means it has incredibly improper grammar]

hes an awful awful person, unapolagetically, and i think there are scenes and areas where he could've been written better. or had more nuance, like his dynamic with arctic [why do they hate each other ?? theres no explanation given, really, besides the fact that they do] but people who reduce him to a monster just baffle me. he loved his mother, he loved whiteout, he tried to love clearsight even though he did it wrong. and clearsight/darkstalker is a really iffy territory, because he did love her and he thought he was loving her right but he wasnt he was kind of controlling and bad! the earrings !! the earrings that kept her from seeing the bad futures !! but he also loved her, he did. their relationship was doomed from the start but he tried. she loved him back too, thats why it didnt work. thats why it hurt so much. he loved his mother too,, the few brief interactions they got in arc 2 hurt me to my core because fuck foeslayer loved him too, even though she realises he's done bad things. and whiteout!! whiteout!! she's one of the only characters we see darkstalker actually properly caring about in a way that doesnt really hurt them somehow. i think she loved him too,, she tried to warn him, she did :( ive thought about them a lot, maybe darkstalker trying to calm whiteout down at times, or them hiding with each other while arctic and foeslayer fought. arctic and foeslayer make me really ill too but this rant is getting long enough as it is. darkstalker lost a little of his pizzazz in arc two because of how domination focused he was and the writing went more focused on making him this evil, hateable villain [imo] than a relatable and understandable villain. which is the best kind of villain. i hate the peacemaker thing i hate it i hate it and that scene in book ten makes me cry every time because he was hurt by it he was so hurt by it. he didnt need a second chance, he needed to die, he needed to reconcile with himself and accept that there was no way he would ever save any of it. something like him coming to his senses, him realising everything he's done is awful and hurtful and he's not ever going to be able to fix it, but he can at least apologise even if the icewings dont accept his apology, not all of them, they'll understand they havent been hating a monster without feelings this whole time,, and maybe some of them can start to understand him and they can start to heal and they can stop hurting each other. but he needed to die and it needed to be on his own terms and i think foeslayer shouldve gotten her peace with that and i think if i were here i wouldve chosen to die too. the world is so different from what either of them knew and i would be tired of trying to change and i would be tired of trying to fix it and i think ending that legacy right there and right then with the two of them together wouldve been good. and maybe foeslayer can tell darkstalker she loves him - maybe she never had time when he was a kid - and maybe he can tell her too and they can leave that world together with the knowledge that they tried but they dont have to try anymore.

#if you're just here to say “i hate darkstalker” fuck off btw <3 #hound.txt #wings of fire #darkstalker wof #darkstalker wings of fire #idk what to tag this with even???#enjoy. have fun.

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clusterbuck · 1 year

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28. forehead touches or nose nudging or any soft variation on the theme. 🥺

“hey, handsome, come here often?” buck murmurs, and immediately regrets it.

turns out it’s not really all that funny when eddie isn’t awake to answer him. it’s just kind of sad.

“we have to stop meeting like this,” buck sighs, glancing at the cannula under eddie’s nose, the wires disappearing under the collar of his hospital gown, the IV taped to the back of his hand. “eddie, i don’t know how many more times i can do this.”

eddie doesn’t reply. on the monitor, his heart continues to beat a steady rhythm.

it had been a house fire, this time, another thing for eddie to check off on his bingo card of job-related injuries. they’d just finished clearing the top floor of the house when the fire had crackled and they’d known it was time to get out now. but eddie thought he heard the sound of one more potential victim, so he’d stayed behind to check.

the floor’s been cleared, buck had yelled, but he’d known it wouldn’t make a difference. just like he’d known eddie would never have let him stay up there, too.

the floor was clear, but by the time eddie was sure, the fire had taken the stairs. there’d been no time to get the airbag out, and they’d all watched eddie climb out of the second-floor window, lower himself as far as he could, and let go.

buck swears the admitting ER doctor had rolled her eyes when she’d seen it’s them again.

eddie had gotten lucky, she’s said. no broken bones. he needed surgery to repair his spleen, but the rupture looked straightforward. simple. easy to fix.

just one little surgery and some bed rest, and he’d be right as rain.

she hadn’t accounted for the way it takes years off buck’s life every time he sees his husband in a hospital bed.

and this is the worst part. the part where all he can do is wait.

everything should be fine, buck knows. the trauma surgeon said everything had gone smoothly, that the spleen repair was textbook. she’d said eddie should come out of the anaesthesia in about an hour, and if he does well overnight they could go home as soon as tomorrow.

everything should be fine, but with every passing minute buck grows a little more worried. sometimes people just don’t wake up. it happens.

buck glances out of the window to make sure no nurses are watching, then kicks off his shoes and carefully climbs into the hospital bed, stretching along eddie’s right side. far away from his recovering spleen.

careful to avoid the tubes and wires connected to him, buck does his best to settle into a comfortable position. he hooks one leg over eddie’s, rests his hand on eddie’s chest and tries to lie as still as possible so he doesn’t jostle eddie.

buck tilts his head forward, just enough for his forehead to rest against eddie’s temple. he lays there for a long while, listening to the sound of eddie’s breathing and the steady beeping of his heartbeat on the monitors. reassuring himself that eddie is going to be okay.

“i love you,” he murmurs, lips brushing against eddie’s cheek as they move. “come back to me.”

buck doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he wakes to the feeling of something shifting against him. it takes a moment, then he realises it’s eddie’s head, turning in the direction of his.

“hey,” eddie rasps, and shifts just enough for his nose to nudge against buck’s. “did you miss me?”

buck stares at him for a second, then bursts out laughing. “jesus, eddie,” he mutters, and then eddie’s laughing too.

“eddie,” buck murmurs again when the laughter dies down, and tilts his head to press a soft kiss to eddie’s mouth. “we can’t keep doing this.” he cups eddie’s cheek, smoothing his thumb along eddie’s cheekbone. “i can’t keep watching people wheel you into surgery.”

“so close your eyes next time,” eddie says, then sighs. “no, i know,” he says, gingerly lifting his hand to cover buck’s. “i’m sorry. i’m not trying to, i just—”

“you had to do it,” buck finishes for him. “yeah, i know.”

“besides,” eddie says. “you’re one to talk.”

buck groans. “i know. can we just—try? when you get out of here, try to go an entire year without either of us ending up in the hospital?”

eddie smiles at him, and leans forward for a kiss. “deal.”

soft prompts 💗

#911fic #buddie #buddie fic #ask emma #emma writes #queerbuck

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peculiarxafternoon · 2 years

Text

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮

paid readings | ko-fi

hello, darlings. before we start anything, i would like to warn you that this reading is not going to be as detailed as my other ones. it will not have any sections, for one, and it will generally be more low energy (not in vibration just,, in effort? i guess?). for the past couple of months ive been struggling with my motivation, mood, and mental state, so i hope for this reading to act as a warm up of sorts, a way to dip my toes into this again and start over. thank you for your patience, and for the people who still like to listen to what i say, i appreciate you lots!

still, i like this question and this concept a lot, and i hope it resonates with you! it was definitely nice for me to do, anyway.

take a deep breath and focus on your ideal life as a celebrity. then, pick a pile intuitively.

! for entertainment purposes only!

! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome!

! decks used: rider waite tarot deck, mermaid tarot, astrological oracle cards!

pile 1

(cards: the sun, the empress, the lovers, nine of cups rx, two of cups rx, the hanged man rx, strength rx, three of pentacles rx, sagittarius)

before i even started shuffling i got major jisoo vibes for you all, and honestly that seems to be the case here. when i think about jisoo, class, femininity and elegance come into my mind, and with the empress and the lovers here, that seems to be the case for you too. you would definitely be extremely famous (like, to a concerning degree for your safety and privacy) since most of your cards are major arcana. i see you doing brand deals left and right for brands like dior, channel, and vivienne westwood, and being really popular for simply knowing how to sell a product, even as an affiliate.

something that's also really interesting is that you would probably get into a lot of dating scandals, or people would try to dig up secrets and end up making things up about you. it would get to the point where you wouldn't even be able to look at people for too long, because everyone would go crazy over a possible spark between you two. that would get you down tbh, like i just see you looking at the headlines with a frown, wondering how on earth people come up with these things.

still, i feel like a major part of your brand would be your ability to be happy on your own and your confidence. even your haters would be amazed at how you carry yourself, and how you manage to always look and feel good. even if that isn't how you would truly feel, you would surely come off as someone who has their shit together, who is determined to achieve whatever they want, and who knows that they can get whatever they set their mind to. it would be so inspiring to see you emerge victorious after being wronged again, especially since i sense you would have an underdog backstory. people would root for you, because they can see themselves and their struggles in you. and if you can achieve so much, then so can they, right?

i see you having a very clear goal in your mind, of where you want to get, but it would often get you to be more stubborn and grumpy than normal. while you would be known as a sunshine of sorts, it could get pretty exhausting for your team when all you can focus on is one specific deal, reward, or result. no matter how much you would achieve, you would have this need to go further, experience more things, create more art, get out there more. that, if you started in a music group or band of sorts, would make you step away quickly after you achieved fame. some would think it's for the best, others would think the opposite. i don't see it affecting you much, though, because you would realise that the support is much greater than the disdain, and that you work much better alone, anyway.

thank you for reading!

pile 2

(cards: the moon, nine of cups rx, seven of pentacles, the hierophant rx, seven of wands, strength rx, king of swords, queen of swords rx, mars)

this pile gives off a very introverted vibe – for a celebrity, at least. you guys may have gotten famous accidentally or under weird circumstances (like taehyung going to the audition to support his friend, or people being casted while walking down the street), so it would take a while for you to get used to the popularity, along with your new lifestyle. it wouldn't be too hectic, though , i don't see you being extremely famous, just enough for you to be recognised on the street but not stalked, you know?

still, it would often feel draining, especially if you surround yourself with others a lot for your job. it would physically tire you out, i see fatigue being a big issue you would have to deal with, and it honestly could show on your face, but you would keep it under control more often than not.

you would come off as very generous, probably doing charity work, volunteering, or raising awareness for special causes. you would also leave the impression of someone witty, who knows how to manage and advertise themselves. you and your team would make very smart moves that would make your popularity skyrocket, and you would play a big part of it too. if your job involves some sort of writing – whether that means you would be an author, lyricist, rapper or poet – you would be extremely well-known for your unique style and smart lyrics.

i also see you being extremely unique in the projects you take on, your style and execution would differ greatly from other people in your field. naturally, that would attract a lot of opposing opinions and impressions, but i don't think you'd care about what others would have to say. like, you got famous by chance, the best you can do is enjoy it while it lasts, right? if you're a woman, or someone who is more feminine in their ways, some people may find you aloof, cold and unapproachable, but they would just be intimidated by you (as people are when they see a successful, decisive woman, heaven forbid) so, again, nothing to really worry about. i also sense that you most likely don't conform to gender norms, anyway, and would ride your own wave, expressing yourself the way you want to and living your life to the fullest.

thank you for reading!

pile 3

(cards: the hermit, seven of pentacles, the lovers rx, two of cups, ace of cups rx, then of pentacles rx, six of pentacles, king of pentacles, jupiter)

you guys would be the type to get. shit. done. no matter your field or experience, you would see projects through and deliver your 110% while you're at it. I'm definitely getting some sort of perfectionism from you, though, like you would often feel dissatisfied with your work because, even if you gave all you had, there is still something you could have done better. it seems that it would be pretty well known, too, that tendency of yours, so people would want to work with you even more because you would never slack off.

you may also go on hiatuses often? like you would take big breaks to isolate yourself from everyone and everything and just,,, focus on bettering yourself? it reminds me of tyler from twenty one pilots, when he literally disappeared off the face of the earth for almost two years and then released a full length album with fully developed lore behind it. or taehyn from txt who admitted to locking himself in the recording booth until he gets some sort of progress. you get the vibe. while behaviours like that may seem a little extreme to some, i get the feeling that you would be completely self made, and kind of an underdog for the first years of your career, so it would make sense that you go to such lengths to achieve good results and somewhat satisfy your perfectionism and survival instincts.

i see you being a very comforting presence for your fans, and sharing your life advice with them. some may even fantasise about being your friend or dating you, because you would seem like such a great person to have around. i keep thinking of suga from bts, so it's likely that you would give off the same aura. also, very ambitious, you would be known as someone with a lot of potential and a bright future ahead of you.

you would also be very well known for your pr management and relationships with people within your field (or just other celebrities). i don't think that your love life specifically would be broadcasted, but people would be very invested in your friendships and the people you hang out with. you left a recording studio with a coworker late at night? headline. you hung out with a director and posted a story about it? headline. you laugh at a friend's joke while walking down the street? headline. you would just have some really good friendships, possibly with other famous people, and maybe some romantic relationships as well. still, people would be mostly supportive of them, since they know that you always prioritise your art and work, and since they want the best for you.

thank you for reading!

! do not copy or repost my work !

#pac #pick a card #tarot #tarot reading #free tarot readings #pick a pile

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melobin · 5 months

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૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა happy new year my loves ฅ^._.^ฅ

helllooo !! as 2023 is ending and 2024 is starting i wanted to a make a little post just to share how thankful i am. being able to write again has been so fun!! i didn’t realise just how much i missed it until i started doing it again, especially for riize.

i want to wish you all a happy and safe new year, i hope 2024 is incredible for you all and you find the happiness and love you deserve. i hope we can grow together as the months pass and that this time next year we’re all happier and in a better place 🫶🏻

the blog has grown quite quickly since i opened it and started writing for riize, we’re at 1.6k now and that’s just insane to me. i never expected so many people to enjoy what i write let alone in engage with it and tell me how much they enjoy it. i have a few things planned for the new year !! ideas, fics and maybe even potentional smau’s!! i hope they’re all things you can look forward to and enjoy when the time comes 💗

i’ve met some incredible people on here !! not to mention the melody and friends discord server where i’ve met people that i hope i can keeps round for a long time to come. i know we’ve had our ups and down within the server but with our wonderful admins jaye and mimi i hope that within the new year we can be happier and filled with less negativity !! i did post a message in the server so i hope you all checked that out 💗

i can be a sappy person… i won’t do it publicly!! but i just want to give a special thank you to the people i’ve met through this blog, whether we talk regularly or just through asks or if we just follow each other, i hope your new year is as lovely and wonderful as you all are!! @ mimi @leejeongz @starrypen @kkurokitty @ensite @kissohee @heesbaby @hoondrop @jaylaxies @pixiewoni @neosvcr @productiwity @wonsy @choqolei @riizeaus @neoraso @heelcvr @nctxtrash @ntoniac, everyone else ive interacted with and my wonderful anons!!

final note. i love you all immensely 💗💖🫶🏻

#✧ melody posts

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webxgal · 3 months

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[Ⅴ] maiora premunt

greater things are pressing.

When you open your eyes, you feel the bile rise to your throat and are overcome with the intense urge to throw up. Your body feels unbearably heavy, barely being able to turn your head to look blearily out the window. The setting sun paints the room in orange hues, and you realise these white walls were not of your dorm room. The itchy and stiff sheets underneath you were not yours either. You notice the IV pole propped next to the metal frame of the bed. Oh no.

The call of your name almost startles you. Almost. It feels like a great amount of burden even to move to acknowledge the unfamiliar voice in the room. Upon your groan of pain, they step into your field of vision. It is a bespectacled man with slightly unkempt brown hair. He holds himself with a level of importance, or maybe you believe so with the crisp beige coat he is wearing.

“I’m glad you’re awake,” He begins, your name rolling off his tongue as if it had been practised. You try to reply, but your throat feels like sandpaper and the sound that leaves your lips sound like a strangled wheeze.

“Oh, no, please don’t force yourself,” He interrupts you swiftly, moving a chair closer to your bed. He sits himself down, cross-legged in a sophisticated manner. He holds a placid expression and doesn’t pay attention to the wearied look you give him through narrow eyes.

“It’s only fitting I introduce myself to you. I am Shuji Ikutsuki, chairman of the board for Gekkoukan High School,” He begins to stretch out his hand on instinct, but quickly retracts it when he realises you have no means of returning the gesture. “Do you… perhaps remember the events of yesterday night, Miss?”

You think of Inferno. Of the monorail. Of your classmates. Of the demons with empty eyes that had attacked. You ready yourself to say ‘no’, but it seems that Ikutsuki has already caught onto your seconds’ worth of apprehension.

“Please. I assure you, this is a safe place where you can confide in me. I believe whatever you saw that night, I will have answers for you. You deserve to understand how and why you ended up here,” His persistence pricks your judgment, weighing your options. You aren’t sure how much of his words you can take for the truth, but he speaks like he knows exactly what’s happening. You do deserve to know what is going on, and you doubt you’ll be leaving the hospital anytime soon to confront Arisato, Takeba and Iori yourself.

So, you resign yourself to nodding. Ikutsuki sits up straighter immediately, hands folded on his lap as he appraises you with a once-over.

“I see. Thank you for your honesty, it’s my utmost priority to figure out how and why things had turned out the way they did that night,” He shoots you a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but in this moment of time, you are unfortunately too lost and too ignorant to take note of this. It will all make sense later. “I will begin with explaining the secret hour, otherwise known as the Dark Hour…”

The sun had long since taken its slumber by the time Ikutsuki had finished his ‘abridged’ explanation, interrupted by the occasional noises of confusion you made. Barebones of the information you were given have clicked with you, and so far all you understood was; that the phenomenon you have experienced for the past year is called the ‘Dark Hour’, the monsters that attacked you were called ‘shadows’ and their existence itself was another can of worms, and the school apparently have an entire club for getting rid of them and you somehow had no idea about it.

Ikutsuki smiles sheepishly at the scandalised look you shoot his way, and when a nurse pokes her head through the crevice of the door, he stands up quickly.

“It may confuse you now, but you will understand later,” He assures you, and walks across the room to head for the exit. “Please rest well, I will be back tomorrow to check up on you. Until then.”

You watch him go and in his leave, a nervous-looking nurse hurries over to ask about your condition and if you need anything. You suppose Ikutsuki had told her to not come in until he was done. You ask her for an extra pillow and try to will yourself to sleep. The curtains to your window are drawn, and if you think hard enough then you can pretend that after twelve, there is no such thing as a Dark Hour and you will wake up ready to spend the day with your camera and Yuko.

Unfortunately, nothing you had hoped for had happened.

Ikutsuki is apparently a big fat liar because it was not him who came to visit you the next day, but the student council president, Mitsuru Kirijo herself. You barely notice Takeba trailing behind her amidst your obvious shock. Rumours did not kid of the upperclassman’s elegance. Her crimson hair fell over her shoulders, her locks tightly curled to perfection. Her gaze is powerful, and the tension of the situation is alleviated by the audible clicking of her heels against the tiled floor. She doesn’t smile at you, but she doesn’t look angry either. She just looks you over like Ikutsuki had done the other day, and Takeba is the one who interrupts the awkward silence.

“I’m so happy you’re awake,” She genuinely sounds relieved, and you feel your face heat up in embarrassment at the sudden attention. “I wanted to see you earlier but—”

“The chairman wanted to set the record straight so you were kept up to speed,” Kirijo cuts in, and it seems she was done surveying you. This time, regret seems to sweep into her voice as she continues. “I will take responsibility for your injuries. If I had been able to detect civilian presence on the train, the situation wouldn’t have been so dire. You have my apologies.”

You don’t know what to say, slumped uncomfortably against the headboard of the bed as you fiddle with your fingers. You kind of wish you could go back to watching Phoenix Ranger Featherman R, a sudden interest of yours after channel surfing all morning.

“So…” Kirijo takes a seat on the sofa in the room. Great, she’s staying. “I take it the Chairman has adequately explained the situation to you?”

You don’t notice the sudden side-eye Takeba throws Kirijo’s way. You slowly nod to the older girl’s question.

“Good, then this makes for an easier discussion—”

“Discussion?” Takeba suddenly cuts in, looking down at Kirijo from where she stands, eyebrows furrowed and you’re not sure why she’s visibly upset. “Don’t you think we should give her more time to at least recover? The doctor said she’s still too exhausted to even move, right?”

She spontaneously poses the question to you, and you are caught off-guard by your sudden involvement in the conversation. You wouldn’t consider yourself particularly observative, but the borderline desperation in Takeba’s hazel eyes and the abrupt confusion in Kirijo’s forces you to hunch in on yourself. You draw out a forced cough, pretending to conceal it behind your arm. Kirijo looks obviously displeased, in contrast to the relief that floods Takeba’s expression, but she merely sighs as she stands once again.

“Very well, I’ll come back another time. For now, please focus on healing. I’ll take my leave here,” She turns to Takeba when the other girl doesn’t follow after her. “Takeba?”

“I’ll come back to the dorm in a bit,” the brunette assures and awkwardly shifts on her feet. “I just need to, um, talk to her for a bit! Personal stuff, y’know. Since we’re friends and all.”

If you had a drink with you, you would have done a spit take. Kirijo, thankfully, doesn’t take note of your bug-eyed expression and the obvious lie Takbea told, nodding sharply.

“Very well. However, you can only be here for a little while. Visiting hours close soon and I expect you back in the dorm on time.”

She closes the door behind her without much fanfare and immediately Takeba relaxes her shoulders as if unloading a massive weight from her back. She sighs when she notices your silent stare, her lips quirking downwards apologetically.

“I’m sorry that I got you to lie for me like that… but I promise it’s for a reason! I just need to tell you something before you listen to what Kirijo-senpai has to say,” She holds your gaze, eyes solemn as she speaks. “No matter what… it’s your choice what you do with your life, okay? Don’t feel pressured to accept or do anything if you don’t want to do it.”

You blink, startled by the sudden bout of wisdom sprung upon you.

“Um… okay?” You agree unsurely, and Takeba lets out a puff of air, fixing you with a strained smile. She looks unpacified and even a little jittery, but she’s already begun to turn her back before you can look at her expression closer.

“Thanks for hearing me out. I’m glad you seem okay so rest well and…” Her eyes flicker to the TV screen and you forgot you had paused it right on the scene where Feather Swan slaps Feather Hawk for trying to kiss her. “Enjoy your show… I guess.”

A small part of you couldn’t help but wish that the shadow had finished you off that night.

#p3 #p3 x reader #minato arisato x reader #minato arisato #makoto yuki x reader #makoto yuki #persona 3 x reader #persona 3 protagonist #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #persona 3 protagonist x reader #x reader #reader insert #webxgal writes #memento vivere

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whumper-whimsy · 1 year

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Back home P1

Part 2

Blackmail/bribery, kidnapping, implied noncon, angst, intimate whumper, whumpee × caretaker

Caretaker's heart dropped as their phone rang. They had been dreading this call all day- did it have to happen now? With shaking hands, they checked the name.

Whumper

Caretaker glanced down at Whumpee in the bed next to them- asleep.

Quietly, they got up, waking out of the bedroom and into the living room.

They answered the call.

"Whumper, I-"

"Caretaker, you were supposed to have the money by noon. It's 10:00 at night, and I don't beleive I've received anything."

"I'm sorry, I don't have the money. Ive been saving up, i swear. I can get you a little over a thousand tomorrow, but i just don't have it."

"Oh, you don't, hm? I can't accept a quarter of what you owe me, that's just not how that works."

"Don't take them." Caretaker couldn't stop the waver in their voice. "Take whatever you want, but not them."

"But I don't want anything else. I want my pet."

"Please, Whumper-!"

"If you get me that thousand, you can have them all of tommorow. The day after, they're mine."

"No... please, rethink this." Caretaker had to cover the microphone to sniffle and wipe their tears on their sleeve.

"No can do. I'll send my men over to go grab them now."

"No!" Caretaker covered their mouth, hoping they didn't wake whumpee. "I'll get you the thousand. I just need one last day with them."

"Fine. It'll give me time to get their things prepared, they've been put away for so long now."

"You're a monster."

"I know. I'll talk to you later. Bye!"

"Fuck you."

Click.

Caretaker bursted into tears, collapsing onto the couch behind them. How would they survive without Whumpee?

They realised they were being selfish. Their poor Whumpee would have to go back to Whumper. After months of being reintroduced into regular life, it would all be ripped away from them. Caretaker's heart sunk with guilt.

Whatever happened, Caretaker would make tomorrow the best day of whumpee's life. They could make it work with the few hundred they had saved up alongside the thousand.

♡♡♡♡♡ Whumpee POV / timeskip ♡♡♡♡♡

Whumpee woke up with a stretch, yawning silently. They noticed with a smile that Caretaker was spooning them from behind. They squeezed their weighted stuffed dinosaur, closing their eyes. Mornings with Caretaker had always been nice, but this morning felt heavenly.

Caretaker was awake, they could tell. Whumpee felt them shift behind them.

"Mornin', Whumpee," Caretaker hummed, reaching up to rub their shoulders. "Sleep good?"

"Mhm, what about you?" Whumpee relaxed, sighing softly as they were massaged.

"I slept great." Caretaker said, pressing a kiss to whumpee's shoulder.

Whumpee felt Caretaker's shirt brush against their bare back. They paused in confusion. "Didn't you fall asleep without a shirt? Have you been up?"

Caretaker placed another kiss on the back of their neck. "Maybe. Come see?"

"Mmmm... i just wanna lay here forever." Whumpee rolled to face Caretaker, smiling.

"Come on," Caretaker urged, cupping whumpee's cheeks. "Breathe in through your nose once."

Whumpee rolled their eyes, doing as they were asked. A strong scent hit their nose instantly. "Bacon?"

They jumped up eagerly, hugging Caretaker tight.

"You're the best!" Whumpee exclaimed, both of them erupting in a bout of giggles.

"Only the best for you." Caretaker scooped whumpee up, carrying them bridal style to the kitchen.

Whumpee laughed some more, then finally calmed down and caught their breath. Caretaker sat them at the island in the kitchen. In front of them was a breafast of waffles, bacon, and eggs.

"God, I don't deserve you." Whumpee sighed, picking up their fork and starting to eat.

"Whumpee?" Caretaker sat next to them.

"Yes, love?"

"If you had one day left to live, what would you do?"

Whumpee frowned. "Any reason you're asking?"

"Not at all, just wondering. It's kind of a fun question, isn't it?" Caretaker stared straight ahead of them.

"Well, I'd spend it with you. The fair's in town, so if today was my last day, I'd go do that," they squeezed Caretaker's hand, "with you."

Caretaker smiled, nodding. "Yeah? Get dressed, then, once you're done eating."

Whumpee grinned. "We're going to the fair? How are we gonna afford that right now?"

"I have some money saved up. Don't worry about the cost of anything." Caretaker lifted Whumpee's hand, giving it a kiss. "Today is all about you."

♡♡♡♡♡ timeskip ♡♡♡♡♡

Whumpee held hands with Caretaker as they walked through the fairgrounds. They took another bite of their cotton candy, then waved it towards Caretaker's face.

"Have some!" They urged, pressing it against caretaker's lips. "You know you want it!~"

Caretaker rolled their eyes, taking a little nibble. "Delicious, love. It's getting late- you ready for dinner? Ive got us a reservation."

"Sure! We've rode everything at this point." Whumpee squeezed caretaker's hand. They had had an amazing night, and to top that with a nice dinner? "Today's been great, love."

"Yeah? I'm really glad to hear that. Wanna catch the fireworks after?"

♡♡♡♡♡ timeskip again ♡♡♡♡♡

Whumpee sat next to Caretaker on the blanket as the fireworks boomed overhead. They held hands, caretaker's thumb tracing up and down on whumpee's hand.

"I'm so lucky to have you..." Whumpee whispered. "You've helped me through so much- ever since you saved me from Whumper... Because of you, I'm myself again. I just want you to know that I'm thankful for everything. I love you."

Whumpee's heart froze as they saw caretaker's eyes water.

"Caretaker..?"

Whumpee was pulled into their arms suddenly. Caretaker held them tight, resting their head on whumpee's.

"Are you okay," they tried, hugging caretaker back.

"Yeah... i just- i love you too. I love you so much. Promise you'll always be strong for me?"

"I promise, baby."

"No matter what happens?"

"Caretaker, you're scaring me..."

"Please, whumpee." Caretaker squeezed them tighter.

"I promise."

"Do you wanna go home and cuddle?" Caretaker rubbed whumpee's back softly.

"That sounds nice, yeah." Whumpee watched the fireworks, worry burning in their gut. "Lets go relax."

♡

The ride home was silent for the most part. Whumpee kept a hand on Caretaker's thigh the whole time, rubbing their knee.

As soon as they were home, Whumpee followed Caretaker to the bedroom and crawled into bed.

Whumpee began to pull their shirt off, only stopping when caretaker grabbed their wrist.

"Leave it on," they whispered.

"Caretaker, you're being weird," Whumpee responded, furrowing their brow. "Is everything alright?"

Caretaker held their face tenderly. "It's- it's not. I can't tell you why, but I need you to listen to me, please. Keep your shirt on for tonight."

"Alright... I trust you." Whumpee wrapped their arms around Caretaker's waist, giving them a gentle kiss.

They both settled into bed, Caretaker curled firmly around Whumpee and Whumpee clinging to their dinosaur plush- just like every other night.

Except tonight was different. Caretaker held Whumpee extra tight, their fingers rubbing through their hair slowly. The quiet 'i love you's and gentle kiss kisses came more frequently. If Whumpee wasnt so sure something bad would happen, they wouldve been able to appreciate it better. They did their best, responding to each of the soft touches gratefully.

They let themself fall asleep as Caretaker's nails ran up and down their arm in a soothing motion.

"I love you... I love you so much." Caretaker whispered as they drifted off.

♡

Whumpee was startled awake as they heard heavy footsteps. They could tell Caretaker was still awake- they doubted that they had ever fell asleep. Their hands were still brushing up and down whumpee's arms. They stopped, gripping whumpee even harder.

"No," Caretaker whispered, their voice cracking. "No, no..."

Whumpee looked up, their veins running cold with ice.

The lights were flicked on and several people walked in and spread themselves around the room, their muscles visible through their outfits.

Whumper walked in last, in one of their favorite wine-red suits. They were grinning in their sadistic way, hands clasped behind them.

"Caretaker," Whumpee cried, turning towards the one holding them. "Caretaker, what's happening?"

Caretaker was crying, squeezing them even tighter.

"Ah, my pet~" Whumper purred, walking to the end of the bed. "Its been a while, eh?"

"Caretaker," Whumpee cried, clutching them in horror. "What's going on?"

"Did they not tell you? Oh, how tragic..." Whumper came to Whumpee's side of the bed and reached out to touch them. They screeched, pulling away. "C'mon, Caretaker. Why don't you tell them why we're here?"

"No," Caretaker cried. "You can't take them, please!" Two men came over and grabbed Caretaker, dragging them off. "No! Let me go! D-don't"

Whumpee got on their knees, still clutching their stuffed dinosaur. "No- let them go- what are you doing?" They reached out with one hand towards Caretaker, sobbing.

"Since Caretaker doesn't want to, I'll explain. Caretaker didn't make their full payment this month, and that means I get you back!" Whumper grabbed them by the shoulder and turned them so they were face to face. "God, I've missed you. That look in your eyes- the fear- its beautiful."

"P-payment?" They stuttered, looking helplessly between Caretaker and Whumper.

"You really have no clue? They pay me four thousand a month so they can keep you here. They failed to pay this month, so I get you back." Whumper caressed their shoulders, grinning. Whumpee struggled to get free. They turned to Caretaker.

"You were paying? C-caretaker! I could've gotten a job- why didn't you tell me?" Whumpee struggled further against whumper, still clinging to their stuffed animal.

"Stop fighting," Whumper whispered, suddenly very close to whumpee's ear. They stilled instantly, the commanding tone pulling back memories in their brain.

Caretaker kept teary eye contact with them. "Whumpee, don't let them get to you. You promised you'd stay strong for me, right?"

"You really think i can't break you again?" Whumper cooed in their ear. Their hands went from whumpee's shoulders down to their waist. Whumpee shuddered, breath picking up. "Hands and knees."

Whumpee's body obeyed without thought. As soon as they realised what had happened and were trying to sit back up, Whumper had found a firm grip on the back of their neck.

"That easy?" Whumper teased, holding them in place. They added to caretaker; "You could've had this to yourself all this time and you chose to treat them like a regular person... I don't get it, honestly."

"Please don't do anything to them." Caretaker blurted, pulling against the people that held them back.

As if in response, Whumper leaned down and pressed a kiss to whumpee's neck. It quickly turned worse as Whumper started sucking on the skin. Whumper gnawed at their neck like a hungry animal, finally pulling away with one last lick.

"You two, knock Caretaker out and put them out on the couch." Whumper spoke to their henchmen after wiping their lip. "I can take Whumpee to the van."

Whumper released whumpee's head and they immediately strained upwards. "Caretaker!"

"Whumpee-" Caretaker whispered as a needle was held to their neck.

"I love you." Whumpee whispered back, watching in despair as the needle was pushed into Caretaker's skin.

"I love you too..." Caretaker gasped, slowly going limp between the two people supporting them.

Whumpee watched them be carried away, wiping their tears on their sleeves. They felt the bed shift as Whumper sat behind them, dragging them up into their lap.

"Oh, pet~" Whumper purred, hands traveling up and down whumpee's torso. "Would you like to come with me, now?"

"No," Whumpee said, crying harder. "I wanna stay with Caretaker..."

"No can do~" They signaled to one of the two henchmen left in the room, and they set a backpack down in front of them. Whumper dug in the bag, pulling out what looked like an epi-pen. "This won't put you to sleep, but it will-"

"-paralyze me," Whumpee finished with a silent sob. "I know."

Whumper pressed a kiss to the side of their neck, making them jolt. "Such a smart pup~"

"I'm not- I'm not anyone's pup." Whumpee's voice was less confident than they intended. They squeaked as the pen was pressed against their throat.

In one last attempt, Whumpee brought their elbow down against Whumper's stomach and jumped up as the other recoiled. They only made it so far until they were knocked back to their knees. The needle was plunged into their neck as a boot dug firmly into their back.

"No-" Whumpee croaked, flailing in an attempt to fight the drug. Whumper scooped them back up, pulling the pen out of their neck. Whumpee's limbs were already going limp.

"Now, darling," Whumper cooed. "Lets get you back home."

#whump #whump blog #whump community #whump scenario #whump fic #whump tropes #emotional whump #whump stuff #whumpblr #idk anymore #i wanted to write smthn sad

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