#this is 100% true as evidenced by the fact that they did not start out as a pairing this game but once put together were not taken apart

[larsnicklas]

i would give my life for the sandin-bear pairing they are perfect to ME

#rasmus sandin #ethan bear #capitals #washington capitals #nhl #hockey #meg.caps #meg.gif #meg.all #THEY ARE PERFECT THEY'RE THE D PAIR OF MY DREAMS!!!!! #vibrating intensely. spencer carbery do NOT separate them!!!! please give them a chance to build chemistry they will be SO PERFECT!!!!! #this is 100% true as evidenced by the fact that they did not start out as a pairing this game but once put together were not taken apart

[blazingparker]

When I’m Like This, You’re the One I Trust

hello my lovelies!! I’m here with the one-shot I wrote as a massive THANK YOU to each and every one of my followers. When I started this, I had just reached 100 followers and now there are even a few more of you! I’m so grateful to each and every one of you, and I really hope you enjoy this fic.

This was inspired by the song Blinding Lights by the Weeknd. The specific stanza is referenced in my author’s note on ao3!

read it on ao3!

---

It wasn’t often that Peter had a sensory overload, but when they did happen, they were...devastating. Physically, mentally devastating.

This was one of those days.

Peter woke up with a pounding headache, every brush against the fabric of his pajamas or his sheets feeling like fire licking along his skin. Tony was apparently making breakfast for them, evidenced by the fact that Peter could hear every clunk of a dish being set on the counter and the crack of an egg that fell into a sizzling pan.

Against his better judgment, Peter cracked open his eyes. The sunlight streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows of their bedroom was normally a welcome sight, warming his skin and making him feel like a cat stretching out into the rays. Today, though, it was a blinding assault on his eyes that made him whimper and try to curl away from it, only to be met with more burning sensation from the fabric.

“Good morning, Peter,” FRIDAY greeted him, and the young man actually let out a soft cry at that. The voice, normally bearable, was so incredibly loud that he could barely stand it. He reached his hands up to cover his ears, trying to do something -- anything -- to make it better.

“FRIDAY, activate Spider Shutdown Protocol,” a voice whispered, but to Peter it sounded like a normal volume. FRIDAY didn’t respond verbally to the command, as she was relegated to listening only while the protocol was activated. Immediately, the windows were blacked out and the light blocked from the room. The heater kicked in, since Peter had told Tony once that his inability to thermoregulate seemed even worse when he was like this. Though they made no sound, Peter knew the walls of their bedroom had been soundproofed as well. He wouldn’t have to deal with hearing all the sounds of Avengers tower as people began to wake up and go about their days.

“Hey, my love,” Tony whispered as he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. “Are we having a bad spider-senses day?” He asked, reaching out as if to smooth his hand down Peter’s back before pulling away, realizing that might not be a good move right now.

“Yeah,” Peter whispered back in a hoarse voice, feeling tears prick at his eyes. “Sorry for ruining breakfast, it was really sweet of you to cook.” He hid his face in the pillow despite the pain it brought him, trying to keep Tony from noticing his tears. His boyfriend knew him better than that, though, picking up on how his voice wavered slightly. He might not be able to see Peter, but he knew him well enough by now to know how he was feeling even without that.

“Honey, no,” he murmured back immediately. “You didn’t ruin anything, hear me? If anything, you saved our frying pan from getting another egg burnt onto it. We’ll eat whenever you’re ready, and not a moment sooner.” Peter relaxed somewhat at that, summoning the energy to scoot closer to Tony in their bed.

“Okay. Thank you,” he whispered. After a few moments of silence, Peter reached out for Tony’s hand. Finding it, he guided it to rest lightly in his hair, sighing softly in happiness as the man began to ever so gently card his fingers through his curls.

“You’re okay with touching?” Tony asked, voice still soft as he continued his motions. Peter instinctively went to nod, but stopped himself and instead just turned his head towards Tony’s voice. He didn’t want to make his headache even worse.

“You, yes,” he clarified. “Anyone else...no.” Tony felt his heart swell at that admission, knowing that he was the one Peter trusted when he was like this. Not anyone else.

“I’m honored,” he said truthfully, smiling down at Peter in the dark. Peter blushed, instinctively turning his face away from Tony as though to hide it, forgetting there was no way his boyfriend could see it in the dark.

The two stayed there for a while, in the dark and in silence. Peter’s headache was still raging but the feeling of Tony’s hand in his hair and the darkness of the bedroom were steadily making things better. He was so grateful for Tony’s endless patience, how there was never a sign of irritation or restlessness. It was like there was nothing Tony would rather do than stay here with Peter - and knowing him, that was probably true.

“How about a bath? We can get those pajamas off you, if they don’t feel good on your skin?” Tony eventually suggested. Peter had complained to him before about the feeling of sheets or clothes on his skin when he was like this, unable to handle the sensation. When everything was too much, even the smallest thing made everything seem all the more unbearable.

“You just want to see me naked,” Peter grumbled back, but the amusement in his voice was clear. Tony huffed out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head.

“It’s too dark for that, Peter. But I won’t deny I always enjoy the view,” he shot back with a wink that his boyfriend couldn’t see. After much playful grumbling, Tony was able to help Peter up and out of their bed and move them to the bathroom.

“Okay, cover your ears, my dear. The water might be too loud. I’m still working on that dampener,” Tony said once they got to the bathroom, gently helping Peter hop up onto the counter and going to start the bath. He added Peter’s favorite bath bomb - eucalyptus and lavender, something Tony had made specially for him. Peter had loved the eucalyptus and mint scent from Bath & Body Works before the spider bite, but afterwards the smell and taste of mint had become unbearable. After mentioning that particular fact to Tony off-handedly one night, the mechanic had traded his Iron Man gauntlets for bath bombs and room sprays, determined to create something Peter would like.

Once the bathtub was filled, Tony turned off the water and immediately returned to Peter’s side. He helped the young man out of his pajamas, FRIDAY wordlessly increasing the lights in the room by just a small percentage so he could see and keep himself from whacking Peter in the face or something.

“In we go,” Tony murmured when they were finally ready for their bath, helping his boyfriend down from the counter and easing the two of them into the warm water. He leaned back against the wall of the tub, pulling Peter into his chest so all he had to feel was the water and Tony’s skin - not cold tile. Peter’s tense, coiled muscles immediately began to relax and the younger man let out a contented sigh.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re the best boyfriend ever?” Peter asked, almost in a daze as he rested in the water with Tony. There was no blinding light, no fire on his skin, no sounds except for the water and their shared breathing. Everything was so much better, and he had Tony to thank.

“Oh, you’re going to want to be careful with those compliments. The team is always bitching about the size of my ego already,” Tony joked, beaming when he earned a small little laugh from the man in his arms.

“Mmm, I’ll beat them up for you. I’ve already stolen Cap’s shield once, I’ll do it again,” Peter mused softly, smiling sweetly when Tony leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“My hero,” Tony murmured back, but his voice had lost all its playfulness in favor of sincerity. He wanted -- no, needed -- Peter to know just how important he was to him. After an episode like this, the younger hero could have a tendency to get in his own head, blame himself for “putting Tony out” or “making Tony deal with him.” The older man was hoping to get ahead of that this time - maybe prevent that guilt from manifesting at all.

“I’m so glad you trust me to take care of you when you’re like this,” he whispered. “I love you so much, Peter. So, so much. Every part of you. Good days and bad days.” Peter twisted in Tony’s arms, looking up at him.

“I love you too,” he said, voice a little stronger now. “Thank you for taking care of me. You-you make it better.” Peter lifted a hand and stroked Tony’s cheek, droplets of water falling into that impeccable goatee.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Tony said with a soft smile, leaning into the touches on his skin and turning his head to press a soft kiss to Peter’s palm. The two remained there, whispering sweet things to each other and exchanging soft caresses until the water ran cold. Only when Peter started to shiver did Tony dare to move.

“Time to get you nice and warm, and maybe get some food into you. You feeling up to any lights?” He asked, climbing out of the tub and grabbing towels for them both.

“If they’re low, we can try it,” Peter agreed, smiling as he got out and was immediately wrapped in the softest, warmest towel he’d ever felt. FRIDAY brought the lights up just enough so they could see each other but it was far from their normal brightness.

“We’re okay?” Tony asked, drawing Peter into his arms and holding onto him before dropping a kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s hair.

“We’re okay,” Peter murmured back, tucking his face into Tony’s neck and pressing a soft kiss to the skin there. “Thanks to you.”

“Anytime, Peter.” Tony got to work on drying them both off and dressing them both in his clothes. Peter initially wasn’t thrilled, forgetting that Tony’s clothes always felt so much better than his own. His disappointment quickly faded when he was wrapped up in soft fabrics and Tony’s cologne.

“Breakfast?” He asked hopefully, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. Tony finished putting his shirt on and turned to look at him with a smile.

“Sure. What are you feeling?” He asked.

“Toaster waffles?” Peter asked, blushing a little bit as he glanced away. “The chocolate chip ones, maybe?”

“If that’s what my Peter wants, that’s what he shall have,” Tony said with a charming smile and a wink, holding out his hand. Peter smiled shyly back at him, reaching out a hand covered by the sleeve of Tony’s sweater. Their hands clasped together and the smile went from shy to positively radiant.

Sensory overload days were tough, for sure. But Tony always knew how to make them better, and Peter was grateful for that.

#starker #starker fic #blazingparker writes #peter parker x tony stark

[theatricallythespian]

Let’s Talk: Is Six Racist?

The answer: Yes, but it’s complicated

Disclaimer: As fans of SIX, this post is not to disrespect or undermine the brilliant people involved in it, but to evaluate and critique SIX in the context of race. Gifs used in the post are made by the lovely @karisoka​ on Tumblr

Note: This was written before Carly Mercedes Dyer was announced as Seymour on 2UKT, however, the fact that it took over three years to cast a non-white woman as Seymour is still embarrasing. Because she is the exception, all points regarding Seymour still stand.

The racial problems with the show largely arise from the casting of the show. There are clear casting trends for each character. These trends derived from each principle actress per character and are as follows:

Aragon: Non-white actress with a medium to dark skin tone

Boleyn: White actress 

Seymour: White actress 

Cleves: Non-white actress with a dark skin tone

Howard: White actress 

Parr: Non-white actress with a light to medium skin tone

These casting trends result in an approximately half-white, half-non-white cast, but looking at the cast of each production, this does not hold up, especially as rehearsal swings and covers are counted. Productions with less than 30% non-white actresses are: Edinburgh, 2UKT, Breakaway, and Bliss 2.0. Productions with 30%-50% non-white actresses are the original Arts production, 1UKT, Bliss 1.0, and Australia. The highest percentage of non-white actresses are in the West End production (10/18) and the US cast (7/10). From this, we can clearly see that higher profile productions have a higher percentage of non-white actresses, whereas less-visible productions like the cruise casts have an extremely low percentage of non-white actresses.

Another instance where less visibility results in a lower percentage of non-white theatre artists are the Ladies in Waiting–9 out of 45 total band members have been non-white (Note: Rebeca Caldera (Bliss) and Julia Subatin (Breakaway) are Argentinan and considered non-white here). The original Arts production, the first UK tour, and the West End production have not had a non-white musician in the band. Even Broadway, with a total of 11 band members for the different tour stops only had one woman of colour total. For a show that touts diversity, these statistics seem extraordinarily low. 

The casting trends may have started out as an innocuous way to pay homage to each queenspiration, the female pop icons who inspired each queen's song and style, and as an attempt to be equitable and cast more women of colour, but these trends are hugely problematic within the context of the show itself, as they create unbalanced racial dynamics and enforce stereotypes within a text that most likely did not intend to create.

One example of the former is Cleves' storyline–being rejected for her looks. While may have been historically true, it is curious when the “ugly” character  is often played by the actress with the deepest skin tone out of the entire cast. In the two exceptions where Cleves was played by a white actor, one is nonbinary and one is a plus-sized woman. Here, ugliness is Black, trans, and fat. The arts cannot be separated from societal context, and given that white beauty standards have an immense influence due to an extensive global history of colonization, this is clearly problematic. In addition to this, there’s one particular scene where Howard makes comments about Cleves’ looks. The original intent was simply to add a #savage quip that aligns with Howard’s character, but given that Howard’s casting trend is skinny white women, the scene becomes rife with uncomfortable racial tension.

In regards to stereotyping, we can talk about how as characters with a white casting trend, Boleyn and Howard can exist beyond being promiscuous characters, or even about how Parr, the empowered woman, is a woman of colour with light skin, but here we'll be focusing on Aragon, Cleves, and Seymour. Aragon and Cleves both exhibit racist stereotypes surrounding Black women, whereas Seymour, who has never been played by non-white principle actress, is seen as the epitome of purity. Please note that this section is based on both the original text and fandom perception of the characters as presented by the text. Of course, the show is not in control of the fandom, as evidenced by problematic fanart, including whitewashing dark-skinned actresses or even depicting a white actress holding three non-white actresses on leashes, but there are elements of the projections of the characters by the show that exacerbates racist ideas.

First, let’s talk about Aragon and Cleves–Angry, sassy, masculine, and gold-digging, just to name a few traits. Just looking at the show and casting trends alone, Aragon and Cleves, both played by women with medium to dark skin tones, have the deepest vocal parts. This by itself might not seem like a huge deal, but combined with race-based casting trends and the show’s perpetuation of stereotypes surrounding Black women, small things add up.

In Six, each queen’s solo song defines their key character traits. For Cleves, Get Down puts an emphasis on Cleves flaunting her wealth and her obnoxious behaviour. She refers to her palace numerous times, flexes that she isn’t fake because she’s paid for her acres and acres with her own riches, and there’s even this line–’Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’m a gold digger, But check my prenup, and go figure.’ In moderation, many of her characteristics would be fine–we love us some confident women, however, Cleves only has these two characteristics, even during her bits of dialogue. For Aragon, No Way is a valid response to her husband cheating on her and her issues with religion despite her devotion to the Catholic church. However, there are no other qualities portrayed other than anger. The vulnerable moment during the bridge is extremely brief and in the show, is a comedic tool to segue back into indignation. While her anger is entirely justified, this lack of nuance makes for a very one-dimensional character, making it easier to pigeonhole her into stereotypes.

On the other hand, Seymour is perceived as the pinnacle of femininity and motherhood. Even her costume is the most conservative compared to the other queens, with no cutouts aside from that one strap underneath her collarbones, long sleeves, and a full knee length skirt. Heart of Stone revolves around her love for Henry VIII and her role as a mother and a wife rather than her characteristics as a person. Because of this, the only exhibited characteristics are ones attributed to a caretaker–she’s a loving person, whose love is set in stone, and she’s dependable like a stone and can weather whatever storm comes her way. Thus, when she doesn’t align with this characterization, such as in the queens fighting scene where they compare miscarriages among other tragedies, it’s forgivable–after all, she is a grieving mother. On the other hand, when Aragon exhibits the same behaviour, it’s non-permissible as it aligns with and supports her existing characterization, reinforcing the idea that she is indeed an angry Black woman.

So, can Six’s issues with race be resolved? Like its racism, the answer is: it’s complicated. The ideal course of action would be to break casting trends, but it’s quite difficult to do so in an equitable manner. To cast a white woman in existing non-white roles would be to prioritize whiteness even if the casting is mixed up between all characters. A good step forward would to cast a 100% non-white cast and at least a 50% non-white band. This is the only way to respectfully break casting trends and prioritize inclusivity, especially seeing as Toby, Lucy, and most, if not all, of the creative team are white. Going forward, Six as a whole needs to actively be anti-racist and prioritize women of colour.

#six the musical #racism #sixcourse #casting #atlas' post

[sage-nebula]

My problem with the “let the adults handle things" is that the protagonist and Hop are just okay with that and actually listen? kids aren't like that?? In every other story with children and main characters they get told stuff like that but still don't listen anyways and actually works and save the day. But the real reason is that it was probably the original plan but the game got rushed and had to scrap it and cut corners

This might come as a shock, but kids are people, and therefore aren’t a monolith. “Kids don’t listen and wouldn’t be okay with that” isn’t a statement that can be made with 100% accuracy because just like all adults are different, all kids are different. Some kids will stomp their feet and throw tantrums when they’re told no. Others will accept it. It depends on the individual child, as well as the circumstances involved.

As for these specific children and circumstances:

The primary time that Leon and Sonia say “let the adults handle this,” Hop wasn’t actually present. He shows up after the cutscene has already unfolded. Even if he had been, Hop hero worships Leon. He wants to surpass Leon because surpassing him means being just like him. He’s crushed after battling Bede not because he lost, but rather because Bede tells him that he’s making Leon look bad. Hop apologizes to Leon the next time he sees him. What all this means is that if Leon tells Hop to do something, Hop is 99.9% likely to do it. If Leon says, “Stay back and let me handle this,” Hop will. This is evidenced by how, even though Hop runs past Raihan and others to get to Leon in the climax of the story, he at first hangs back and lets Leon handle Eternatus, confidently telling the player that Leon can do it. It’s only when Leon fails and is injured that Hop steps up to battle Eternatus alongside the player, Zacian, and Zamazenta. So yes, it makes perfect sense that Hop would listen to Leon because Hop hangs on Leon’s every word and has since he was very small. He trusts and believes in his brother implicitly and, even after deciding to cheer for the player in the Championship match, later confides that he didn’t really think the player was capable of defeating Leon.

As for the player, they have no personality outside of what you give them. For me, I’ve been playing Pokémon games since 1998. I’m absolutely beyond tired of having to save everyone’s asses because the PokéWorld can’t go two years without facing another crisis. I don’t want to be the hero anymore. I don’t want to be the Champion anymore. I was exhausted at having to be the Champion in Alola. This isn’t a job that appeals to me, it’s not one that I want. So if Leon and Sonia say, “Go continue your adventure, we’ll handle this,” my response is, “Thank fucking god” because that means I can fuck back off into the wilderness and continue exploring. I don’t want it to be my job to clean up whatever bullshit mess Chairman Rose or any other villain has caused. I am here to explore lands I’ve never seen before, to catch and train and play with monsters, and battle alongside them in battles I choose to participate in, too. That’s all I want to do. Any other bullshit is just a giant pain in the ass that pulls me away from what I’d rather be doing. And since I feel that way, the player character in my games feels that way, too. After all, when I play, the player character isn’t actually a kid. She’s actually an adult in the body of a kid. But she’ll pretend to be a kid if it means someone else picks up the slack and saves the world for once (even if she ends up having to do it anyway, sigh). She deserves a damn break.

All of that said:

In every other story with children and main characters they get told stuff like that but still don't listen anyways and actually works and save the day.

That’s exactly why it’s refreshing that this wasn’t the case in Sword & Shield. I mean, yeah, the player had to intervene anyway because that’s just how video games work, but it was nice that for once in this series’ history the adults actually tried to do something. The only other time this has happened was in Black & White, wherein the Gym Leaders and Alder stepped up to make a stand against Team Plasma. Otherwise, the adults are 100% useless in every single game, even the ones where the villain is threatening genocide, and as an adult myself, I really hate that. Sure, kids need stories where people their age are being heroes, absolutely. But when adults don’t even try, and instead happily leave everything on the shoulders of a child, I get aggravated. It shouldn’t be up to actual children to save the world, and it was so refreshing to see a Pokémon game where that was recognized, and where the Champion himself was seriously injured trying to make sure that didn’t happen.

Lastly:

But the real reason is that it was probably the original plan but the game got rushed and had to scrap it and cut corners

Yes, Sword & Shield had a limited development time that led to some things getting cut (such as the National Dex, tragedy though that is), just as every game since Gen VI has. However, I can confidently say that this is not one of them because of the characters involved.

Sonia has, in my opinion, one of the richest characterizations and most realistic stories out of almost any other Pokémon characters from the games. At the start of the game, she’s in her twenties and has no idea what she’s doing with her life. She’s retired from battling after dropping out of the Gym Challenge in her youth, but she dropped out of the Gym Challenge because she lacked the confidence to face the obstacles it presented, not because she wanted to do something else. The fact is, Sonia doesn’t really know what she wants to do. We know that she went to school at one point (her fake assistant in the post-game mentions that Sonia does have a doctorate), but she doesn’t have any actual research she’s working on. Instead, she’s a self-appointed assistant for her grandmother, even if what she does is mostly just meander around the lab . . . reading or organizing materials, I guess.

But after her grandmother gives her a kick in the pants and tells her to go find something she wants to do, she manages to do just that. She finds something that ignites her curiosity and her passion, something that makes a difference in her life at the very least, and possibly the lives of everyone in Galar. She finds her confidence, her drive, and her purpose. At the end of the game she’s the new regional professor, more sure of herself and her place in the world. And as someone who only just very recently left my 20s, I can say that Sonia’s story in this regard is very, very Millennial. Most twenty-somethings have no idea what they’re doing with their lives. And while they probably won’t figure it out as quickly as Sonia did (I’m still working on it myself), her struggles are very relatable and real. It’s clear that a lot of thought went into her character and her writing. Game Freak gave her a lot of love.

With all of that said though, Sonia being hyper-aware that she is an adult while Hop and the protagonist are kids is something that is present from the very beginning. She brings it up when you first reach the wild area, for instance. She makes it known that she has more experience and that she is therefore watching out for you and for Hop (particularly since Leon frets over Hop, as Sonia also points out). Sonia telling the protagonist to just keep enjoying the Gym Challenge while she looks into things is 100% in character for her. It’s characterization present from the start.

And the same goes for Leon. Leon, who became Champion at age 10, and therefore has had to shoulder the burden of being Galar’s Champion for over a decade, knows exactly what it is to have too much responsibility at too young an age. Sonia notes that Leon “practically raised [Hop]” (which is odd given they have a mom and at least one grandparent, but nonetheless), and also that he worries about him constantly. I believe Raihan says something along the same lines. And we see this from Leon as well, with him questioning you about what was going on with Hop when he runs into you in Hammerlocke after Hop’s battle against Bede, and then talking about how he’s going to seek Hop out to talk to him again. Leon doesn’t want Hop to so much as feel bad, much less be in actual danger, even setting aside the fact that Leon feels greatly responsible for the safety and happiness of everyone in the Galar region and therefore feels that it is his responsibility as Champion to face any threat to any of that head on. (Which, it is his responsibility as Champion to face threats to the region, but Leon takes it too far in that he feels he’s responsible for everyone’s happiness as well, which in turn contributes to how unhappy he actually is being Champion). So considering the fact that Leon is very protective of Hop and feels strongly that it is his duty as Champion to deal with any burden Galar faces, it is 100% in character for him to wave you off with a smile as well. That’s not a “we cut this corner because of time,” this is a, “We understand the character we’ve created and we’re staying true to him.”

So, to summarize: I disagree with everything you said. Goodnight. 

#pokemon #professor sonia #champion leon #meta #Anonymous

[burnedbyshoto]

It may or may not be "controversial" but I don't see how people can say that Deku is better than Bakugou and more skilled/working harder towards being a hero because he's been training/working out and really smart. Yes, Deku has been working out/training and is smart, but, when the UA entrance exam rolls around, he's only been training for ten months. Bakugou has been working hard and training ever since his quirk developed so, basically, since childhood/for his whole childhood.

As for the smart part, Bakugou has shown to be able to make split second decisions in battle to make it work in his favor while also having to properly and safely utilize his quirk. He's also worked very hard to understand how his quirk works and what kind of support item to have that will allow him to make bigger blasts but not damage his body. He also understands quirks in general as evidenced by the comment he made during the sports festival about how quirks are a physical extension of yourself and can be worn out/overused. He's also number three in the class while Deku is number four.

In conclusion, Bakugou is both smart and strong and well-versed in how quirks work, especially with his own quirk. And, so, I don't understand how people can say that Deku is stronger, smarter, and better/the better hero just because he's been shown to train and work harder than Bakugou since the series started when it's pretty obvious that Bakugou has been working just as hard since childhood as Deku has been in the past approximated two years and Bakugou continues to work just as hard as Deku.

so I kinda explained the viewpoint but because it’s a lot, it’ll be under the cut! other than that, I believe that in a summed up version of what’s below, bakugou katsuki is a born true warrior, but not a born true hero. midoriya izuku is a born true hero, not a born true warrior.

here’s my unpopular opinion: bakugou should always have the upper hand over izuku when it comes to one v one battles. I wonder what it’ll be like once izuku masters 100% ofa but for now, he should keep the upper hand. he’s the better fighter & the prodigy 😗

tbh i’ve never heard anyone say that before so let’s hope I digested this correctly! I think this all leads up to something that came straight out of all mights mouth already! if you look at izuku and bakugou you’ll see a person at level 1 to a person at level 65.

when you play games, the early missions arent necessarily worth more than later ones, but because the exp exceeds the level meter, it seems that the level 1 is advancing quicker than the level 65 when in actuality the level 1 is barely scraping by.

it’s something acknowledged by both boys in the aftermath of deku vs kacchan 2 in how bakugou worked his ass off harder and longer than izuku ever did — and that’s true but you gotta remember izuku never had the privilege to be able to do anything of use (sure he could train his body to be super buff and he could be a master at a million different fighting styles, but without a quirk he would be useless against robots. I mean look at shinsou who didn’t have a power type quirk, he failed the test & was relatively around izuku’s strength).

I don’t disagree with anything you say except the hero part, tbh.

being a hero, in the context of the world, is the ability to save and help everyone (think of the entrance exams, villain points were for destroying robots. hero points were for saving and helping). izuku has this innate drive to save people, he’s been doing it since he was four years old! on the other hand, bakugou has an innate drive to win and achieve perfect victory, something he’s been doing since he was four.

bakugou and izuku are quite literally two sides of the same coin — they are each other’s foils, the yin to their yangs. bakugou learned how to fight, izuku learned how to win. both of them fail to accomplish the other sides at first, but they’re growing into both sides as they should be.

bakugou katsuki is an amazing fighter, an amazing warrior. he is the more skilled fighter, but that by itself doesn’t make him a hero. he wasn’t wanting to be a hero because he wanted to help people but because he saw that heroes never lost & his own moral compass would never allow him to be evil.

midoriya izuku is a true hero, someone who will help anyone out in a crisis. he has self-sacrificing tendencies stronger than everyone and while I don’t want to praise it because it’s not praiseworthy considering how wreckless he is, it makes him the true hero. he wants to be a hero because he wants to bring smiles, peace, hope. the only thing he needs to do now is learn how to win without killing himself.

this is why I think they will become the ultimate duo because together they’ll be 100% on both ends and practically unstoppable.

but izuku, in my opinion, is no longer the better hero because bakugou has finally learned both sides. izuku needs to learn how to win to save now. but undoubtedly before, while weaker and lesser, izuku was the better hero.

OH I ALSO JUST REMEMBERED. LOOK AT ENDEAVOR!!!! endeavor, by canon fact, has solved more cases than all might himself. let me repeat, all might has not saved as many people as endeavor, but all might is the number one. why’s that? because it takes more than smarts and strength to be a hero & thankfully for us, bakugou sees that when he’s still learning!

#lyssa doesnt shut up

[the-molecularbio-kitten]

So I was working on the planning doc for yet another Fates/Awakening AU I’m going to/want to write, and I came up with something that I really liked and after a bit of looking into canon game lore/character stats, I have a Severa/Selena headcanon that I can’t stop thinking about and I will likely write another fic regarding it.

I’m gonna start explaining it now so hold tight because I have to talk about other stuff before I actually get to it (also this is going to be a very long post).

So first, before we can even talk about Severa/Selena (henceforth just called Severa for simplicity’s sake), we must talk about Cordelia. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you, but just in case, canonically Cordelia is seen as a natural/a “genius” in literally everything. You name it, and Cordelia can do it, and do it extremely well/perfectly (except running, since canonically apparently Cordelia sucks at running, which is why she became a Pegasus Knight).

Now moving on to Severa, obviously you probably know that Severa has self-esteem issues because of her mother being “perfect” in everything. i can’t remember where exactly, but I do believe in Awakening Severa has mentioned that others would always compare her to Cordelia, and that (and this next bit could just be me “filling in the gaps” so to speak) these other people would express disappointment or just make some sort of remark on how Severa doesn’t compare to her mother (again I am not 100% sure about any of this, I could be making all of this part up for all i know, but I am pretty positive this is said somewhere in Awakening). Even if the previous point is in fact not true and I made it up, I DO know that in her A support with her father in Awakening, she mentions how she is not as good as her mother in anything (and she assumes wrongly that her father must be disappointed in her because of that).

So naturally Severa is insecure about her skills/herself, and is always trying to prove that she is actually just as good as her mother. Canonically she has a competitive streak which is especially apparent in Fates, where she tries to challenge everyone to competitions, doesn’t matter in what, just to prove she is better. I do think though that she does have some sense of “self-preservation” as far as her ego and self-esteem, and by that I mean she wouldn’t challenge say, Azura to a singing competition or Inigo/Laslow to a dancing competition.

As a side note, apparently canonically Inigo/Laslow can actually sing pretty well too, because apparently Olivia, in addition to dance, also had some singing ability. So I theorize (though this is not the headcanon) that because Inigo/Laslow can dance well and to some extent sing well, growing up Severa may have never tested her dance and singing abilities.

My headcanon is that Severa did actually inherit a natural ability/“genius” ability in something from Cordelia, and that something is actually two things, singing and dancing.

To support this headcanon, I first want to look at her canonical stats. In both Awakening and Fates, she has a very high skill and speed stat (the speed isn’t as important to this though). The skill stat is associated with regular hit rate and critical hit rate. In Fire Emblem Three Houses, the skill stat is changed to dexterity. According to what I looked up on the online Merriam-Webster dictionary at 9:32pm US Central Time on May 19, 2021 (adding the date and time in case for some reason the definition changes in the future), the first definition for dexterity is “readiness and grace in physical activity: skill and ease in using the hands // manual dexterity.

So that first part of the definition is what I want to focus on. “Readiness and grace in physical skill”. So let’s call the skill stat in Fates/Awakening “dexterity” as it is in 3H. Given the definition above, and the fact that Severa has a very high dexterity (skill) stat in both Fates/Awakening, I think it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say that she would have a very good sense of spatial awareness, and by that I mean she has a good sense of the objects in her surroundings, she is very aware of her own body in “space” (like on an XYZ coordinate grid if you don’t understand), and she is very aware of her body in relation to other things in her environment.

I think this supports the idea that Severa could have inherited a natural/“genius” ability in dance.

The second part, that she could be really good at singing, is more based on lore. We know that Severa is prone to yelling. This is evidenced in the fact that if she has no S-support at the end of Awakening, her epilogue states that “Severa leaves on a journey, but occasionally returns to her parent's home to yell at them for ‘old times sake’“ (taken from her wiki May 19 2021). I also think it is safe to assume, given her canon “tsundere” personality, that she might yell a lot at other people too, and I can’t recall any specific times, but I’m pretty sure she yells at at least one person in her support options. Anyway, the reason that I bring all this up is because I think since she yells a lot, she would 1). Have good breath support, and 2). She would have learned over the years from yelling how to project her voice, so that she could be louder/have her voice carry and not put as much strain/effort into it. Again, and admittedly this is more based on what she does as a character, I think she could have inherited some natural/“genius” ability in singing.

Anyway, the reason I think she would not realize her ability in singing/dancing is again because of Inigo/Laslow, and the aforementioned possible “sense of self-preservation”. Since Inigo/Laslow was instructed in dance and likely singing from Olivia, Severa probably grew up watching Inigo/Laslow be good at this stuff, and likely (again in self-preservation) never attempted to find out if she was good at it herself in an effort to keep from damaging her ego/self-esteem. I like to think that if one day she asked Inigo/Laslow to tutor her in dance/singing, she would find that she is really good, and that if she practiced she would be on par with Azura in singing and Inigo/Laslow in dancing.

So yeah, that was really long, but that is my headcanon, that Severa actually did inherit some natural/“genius“ ability from her mother in singing and dancing, and that if she tried it/practiced it she would be really really good at both.

(I am totally making a (probably) multi-chap fic surrounding this headcanon)

#severa #selena #fire emblem awakening #Fire Emblem Fates #fire emblem #headcanon #fe fates #fe awakening #fefates #feawakening

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

20 questions, writer’s edition:

I was tagged by my favorite child @flythesail ! ;) Thank you!! ❤️

How many works do you have on AO3?

39 stories. That’s...a lot. Especially as I used to have around 20 other fics on ffnet that I never crossposted. Maybe I need to sleep more.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

528,088 words.I KNOW. I’m talkative, okay??? It’s crazy to think about the fact that almost a half of this word count is my kevison fic tho. 👀 👀

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

SO MANY FANDOMS

The 100 / Bellarke

The Hunger Games / Everlark

Star Wars / Rebelcaptain + Han/Leia

Marvel / Clintasha

Still Star-Crossed / Rosvolio

Arrow / Olicity

Marvel’s Runaways / Gertchase

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries / Phryne x Jack

Shades of magic / Kell x Lila

Six of Crows / Kanej

This is us / Kevison

NCIS:LA / Densi (so many moons ago, all deleted)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Friends (I’ve watched us as we changed) / Bellarke modern-AU / The 100

it’s not easy for me to belong here (I’m learning) / Kanej / SoC

Girl, ya can’t conceal it / Bellarke

no remedy for love (but to love more) / Rosvolio / Still Star-Crossed

Things just don’t grow (if you don’t bless them with your patience) / Bellarke

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Feedback from readers is so important, so I do my best to reply to all meaningful, encouraging feedback. It shows both my appreciation, but also starts nice, interesting conversations sometimes. :)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think that would definitely be a Bellarke fic, I have been known to be mean in that fandom... 😛 I’d say, if we go with angstiest ending, I’ll have to pick I came here to get some peace. I have another story that’s far angstier as a whole, but the ending was more hopeful.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Mmh, I think I’ll go with Rosvolio on that one, and the series starting with no remedy for love and ending with for love is such a daily good thing. The sequel, epilogue of sorts, was almost as long as the original fic itself, and it was all about giving these two the agency they deserve in their finding each other and growing into love.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I did once, but never completed the fic. It was a Dark Matter/The 100 crossover. Though was it really one? I don’t think so. I used the main characters from the 100 in the context of Dark Matter? Anyway. As evidenced by the fact that I never did finish the thing past the first chapter - no, I don’t write crossovers.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Are there really writers who don’t? Bless your hearts. I’ve been active in writing for various fandoms since 2011 and I’ve had the usual cocktail of anon hate, death threats, insults, etc.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yep. Sex is a conversation, and writing dialogue is one of my favorite things, and they’re basically the same. Sex is a form of communication like any other - be it awkward, passionate, peaceful and quiet, a routine, a habit, a bad habit you can’t kick, sorta meh, or bad. So I guess I write all kinds of smut? Smut with feels is obviously a favorite, but it’s nice to write smut that is just about two people who can’t be apart from each other, passionate and hungry for one another.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup - and not subtly at all. But at the time ffnet did nothing about it, and neither did the fandom. Even though people knew that this person had stolen my story and only changed the characters’ names to fit another ship, people still read it and commented it. Insert #lesigh.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I was asked, once, but I said no. This just feels weird to me.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. My head and my writing process are messy enough as they are, they don���t need the intrusion.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

It’s like asking someone to pick a favorite child. Which everyone could do, really, we all know it. Still, it’s not proper to ask. But I’ll go with my childhood and ultimate otp, Piper and Leo from Charmed. They taught me what love was.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Mmmh, I don’t think I have one atm? I gave up on some wips back when I was writing for The 100, but I know I’ll never pick them up. My only current wip is for Kevison, and I do intend to see this through.

What are your writing strengths?

Clearly my style? I’ve been told it’s kinda poetic, and I do like my prose and my flow - a stream of consciousness, a line that’ll go straight to your heart, long sentences of uninterrupted thoughts, a window into the character’s soul. I also have a very good grasp on the characters I choose to write about - I only write when I feel like I know them like the back of my hand, so characterization and being true to who they are is my number one priority.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have no discipline. I’ll write for days on end, get one, two, three chapters ready...and sometimes a month passes by and I have nothing, my brain is completely empty, and I feel all squeezed out. I could never wait until I’ve completed a work before posting it, for instance - and I mean, I’ve been working on my Kevison fic for 17 months now, so, in a way, lucky thing I didn’t wait, right?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it fits the character and the context, why not.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter! It was a lifetime ago, I was 12 and I wrote what I expected the fifth book to be before it came out. Needless to say, it was bad.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Once again, asking someone to pick a favorite child isn’t proper. I have a sort of very unique love for something always brings me back to you, one of my rebelcaptain fics. First of all, it’s the only work who’s ever gotten a fan edit made about (thanks again to the lovely person who did!). I also think the writing is solid, the dialogue and the chemistry between Jyn and Cassian on point. And I loved working on that AU of their first meeting(s) through the galaxy.

Tagging: @queenofchildren , @lullabiesandgoodbyes , @alienor-woods and whoever else wants to do it!

#writers tag #Angèle babbles #thanks bb!

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

what did you think about the ringer asserting songs on red were about Harry styles when they didn’t date until the month red came out?

I started and left it at the slide about how I felt that the hosts made some pretty bold and confident statements as if they were fact when there is room or possibility for interpretation or for that to not be true and it’s a further illustration of their research going very very far but then stopping just shy of the end. 

I’m trying to break myself of the habit of drawing neat lines between Taylor’s art and the person who it is meant to depict because I kind of feel like it cheapens the art into gossip-y fodder (while understanding that humans are naturally gossip-y individuals). But that said, I think there are songs Taylor has written that are indisputably about one single person and you can draw a very clear line from that person to the song and there is no question about it. 

(examples: Dear John -> John Mayer, Last Kiss/Forever & Always -> Joe Jonas, Enchanted -> Adam Young) 

“iKYWT” is a tough one in that I can see and understand a lot of arguments about it being about a few people also depicted elsewhere on RED and there’s also compelling evidence post-RED that whether Taylor originally wrote the song about him or not  she started to associate that song with her experience with Harry (kind of as she did with “White Horse” and Joe Jonas) ((evidenced by this performance of it at the AMAs where she allegedly pointed at where he was sitting in one of the first few rows)). So I can forgive that possible conclusion being drawn, but not the 100% certainty of it being disseminated as absolute truth. 

#opinion #Anonymous

[underthewingsofthblackeagle]

“Berliner Fernsehturm” * Foto: BernardoUPloud

After her marriage with Frank Randall has failed and Claire Beauchamp flees from her violent husband, she finds refuge in the house of the Fraser/Murray family in Berlin-Wilhelmshorst. But then tensions arise between Britain (which has since left the EU) and some EU member states. All holders of an English passport are required to leave EU territory within six weeks … and suddenly Claire’s fate looks more uncertain than ever.

This story was written for the #14DaysofOutlander event, hosted by @scotsmanandsassenach​

Chapter 10: 14 Men (6)

         "Now you will tell me that this is all publicly available information and I would agree with you. But I was not aware of it before. In a way, it woke me up. It took some time but when I had the opportunity to take over another week of night shifts I immediately agreed. In this time I developed a kind of plan. I was eager to find out if Frank's statement was true. At first I tried to track when he was going to conferences or work meetings. Not all of them, but several of them took him to England and Scotland. I can't prove it, but I had the impression that his travels became more frequent at times when 'the Scottish theme' was boiling over. Later, after 2015, and particularly after the Brexit, his travel intensified."

        To Jamie's surprise, Claire reached into her handbag, which she had hung on the back of her chair, and pulled out a piece of paper she handed over to Ferdinand Groide.

        "This is a list of all the trips my husband has taken since 2013, supposedly for reasons of his work as a historian."

        Groide skimmed the list, then put it aside.

        "Thank you very much. We will try to verify the data."

        "In the weeks that followed, I voluntarily took several weeks of night duty, because there was another advantage to this. I was at home while my husband was at university and could look through his records almost undisturbed."

        "Will you share the knowledge you have gained from this?"

        "Yes. But perhaps we could have some tea?" Claire replied as she looked at Jamie.

        "Certainly."

        He got up and left the room for a moment. Ferdinand Groide pressed the 'stop' button on the recorder. Then he got up and stretched a bit. Claire did the same.

"Tea” by Pexels

        "It's good to take a little break," Groide said as he slowly walked across the room and then paused at one of the windows. Claire, too, had stood up and stretched. Her steps led her to one of the dark oak bookcases. Slowly she let her eyes slide over the old leather-bound volumes. Then her gaze wandered over to Groide.         Ferdinand Groide was, at least as far as she could judge right now, an impressive person, even on the outside. Claire estimated him to be in his mid-60s and should be almost right. The 66 year old, tall man stood bolt upright in front of the window and had his arms crossed behind his back. He was moderately slim and not muscular, but his movements suggested that he had kept himself physically fit for his age. His black, short cut hair showed grey patches only at the temples. From the first moment they met, Claire had been attracted to the unusual shape of his face - you could almost call it rectangular. The way he appeared and behaved radiated calm and a kind of positive authority. He was wearing a black three-piece suit of virgin wool, whose jacket he had taken off before dinner. The timelessly elegant waistcoat that appeared beneath it, from whose small side pocket a golden watch chain protruded, and the discreet tie of dark Italian silk jacquard that matched the pocketkerchief of his jacket contrasted with the visitor's simple but flawless white shirt. Groide wore gold-framed, thick glasses that suggested myopia, a simple gold wedding ring on the right hand and a signet ring with a dark blue stone on the left hand. At dinner, Claire had also noticed the rectangular gold cufflinks bearing Groide's monogram. Everything about this man underscored Claire's impression that she was dealing with a person who not only knew exactly who he was, but also what he was doing.

        Moments later, the door opened and Jamie entered.

        "Tea will be here in just a few minutes. Would you like something else to drink?"

        Claire shook her head, Groide turned to Jamie and said:

        "Thank you. Not yet."

        A little later, a knock caught their attention.

        After Helene Ballin served tea and everyone had a cup, Groide asked:

        "Can we continue?"

        Claire nodded.

        Groide pressed the record button on the recorder, and Claire went on to talk:

        "My husband has always had a certain reluctance towards the new media. Of course we had a PC in the house that was connected to the Internet. But my husband used it very rarely. An yes, he also has a notebook. But it was never allowed to be connected to the Internet. Frank was always afraid of viruses or that hackers would steal his work. Before 2015, when he used the term 'work', I was thinking only of his research and the manuscripts of his books. But since that conversation in November 2015, I wondered if it could be about something else entirely. My husband always took his notebook with him to the university. But that was not a problem. Because Frank was obsessed with the thought that his notebook might get lost or - even worse - be stolen. So..."

        “.... were there disks, USB flash drives?" Groide asked interested.

        "No," Claire replied smiling, "papers.”

        The expression of highest astonishment was to be heard in the older man's voice.

         “Papers?”

        "Yes, papers. Frank believes that only what is written by hand will remain in ones memory. That's why everything he later typed into his notebook was first written down by hand."

        "And you had access to these handwritten documents?" asked Groide, who had now put his arms on the table and moved his whole body forward a little.

        "No," Claire replied smiling.

        "Too bad."

        An unmistakable disappointment spread over the face of the German.

        "Why?" Claire asked, adding: “One can get access."

        She laid her head to one side coquettishly, smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

        Once again, astonishment spread over Groide's face. Meanwhile, Jamie had to pull himself together because he almost laughed out loud. This woman was not only intelligent and strong, she also had a sense of humor. It was delicious to watch the rapidly changing emotions she was able to conjure upon Ferdinand Groide's face.

        "So you have ... gained ... access ..." he said, trying to remain objective.

        "Yes," Claire, in turn, noted objectively and took another sip from her teacup.

        "One Friday evening, it was in early February 2016, my husband came home from university in a rage. He said that he had had a dispute with the university management about his research funds. Later I was to learn that this dispute never existed. In fact, it was that one of his affairs had dumped him. But that's another story. As always, when he was angry or did not know how to handle a situation, he became aggressive and drank. And that's what happened that weekend. "

        Claire paused for a moment, looked at the table and took a deep breath.

        "Then on Sunday ... he started drinking whisky after lunch. He drank until he was laying snoring on the sofa. I used this opportunity to make a copy of the key to his filing cabinet and the key to his desk."

        "How did you know how to do that?" Jamie asked, looking at Claire in amazement.

        "As I said, I was raised and educated in a very ... nonconformist way. In port areas you can ... come into contact with ... people ... who ... help you with ... such questions ... I had used the pre-Christmas period to, well, let's say, make contacts there. Frank hates to go shopping and so I knew that on these days I did not have to expect that he wanted to accompany me. In a bar I inquired and the waitress behind the counter told me that she could make a contact for me for the payment of $100. I gave her $50 and the number of my department at the hospital as well as the dates on which I was on night shift. Two days later, a man calling himself 'Joe' called. We set up a meeting the night of the next day. He promised to give me two small boxes with a mass to make prints with. He asked me $600 for them. The next night, just before the night shift started, I met ‘Joe’ in the parking lot of the hospital. He gave me a brown bag, the kind you get in burger and fast-food restaurants. Inside were the little boxes. I gave him an envelope with the money in it. We agreed that if I got the prints, I would get back to Brenda at the bar. It took some time, but at the beginning of February, as I said, I finally had the opportunity to carry out my plan. When Frank fell asleep drunk on the sofa that Sunday afternoon, I took the bunch of keys from his jacket pocket. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and made the prints. When I returned to the living room, Frank was still asleep and it was easy to slip the bunch of keys back into his jacket pocket. I had taken the boxes with the prints, wrapped in a towel, into the bedroom. There I stashed them among other things in my doctor's bag.”

“Medical Bag” by Raimundo Pastor

        Claire held out her cup to Jamie, who poured tea for her again.

        "A few days later I went back to the bar, gave 'Brenda' another $50, the boxes and a note with the details of my next night's duty. It took about 10 days, then 'Joe' called during my night shift and announced that he would bring me the keys the next evening. And that's exactly what happened. He gave me the keys and I gave him another $600. The next day I went back to the bar and gave 'Brenda' another $100, as I had promised her. That was the end of the deal. In total I paid 1400 dollars. I thought, this investment will certainly pay off."

        Now Claire took a big sip from the cup that Jamie had left for her.

        "Investment?" Jamie asked.

        "Well, I was curious if Frank was really working for the Secret Service. To be honest, I still thought his story was just bragging and I didn't expect to find anything real to do with MI5. But I was hoping to get hold of evidence of his affairs. Evidence that, in the event of a divorce..."

        Claire paused for a moment.

        "Our marriage had gone downhill in the years leading up to it ... I had heard rumors, I had suspicions. "But my studies and work didn't give me time ..."

        "And then you put the keys to use?" asked Groide, who was very keen to make sure the conversation didn't drift into secondary topics.

        "Yes, in mid-March the opportunity arose. Frank flew to Edinburgh for a weekend, supposedly for a conference, and I took the opportunity to look around in his filing cabinet. I was frankly amazed at how well the keys worked. When I opened his cabinet I found, among other things, 14 files relating to the 'New Jacobite' leaders. They contained detailed information about each of these men. CVs, family trees, family relationships, friendship and business relationships, relationships abroad and more. In each of these files there was also a folder with pictures. I didn't recognize Jamie, I mean Mr. Fraser, in Boston. Because in the pictures in the file that Frank keeps on him, he has red hair and no beard..."

        Claire looked over at Jamie, whose hair and beard were black. He smiled and stroked his hair, slightly theatrical, and said:

        "There's nothing like a good make-up."

        All three of them smiled. Claire picked up her cup again and drank. Then she continued in a rather nonchalant tone:

        "It was very interesting to read about the lives of these men. "

        "After all these years, do you think you can still remember what you read in these files?" Groiede asked.

        "Anything?" she asked with a smile.

        "I can remember everything as if I had a photographic memory."

        Again she reached into her handbag. To the surprise of the two men, Claire's delicate hand produced three silver USB flash drives, which she slid over to Ferdinand Groide.

        "Each of these sticks contains one terabyte of data. I photographed all the pages of the files and placed them in folders with the appropriate names."

        The men looked at her first, then at each other in silence for a moment. Ferdinand Groide took the sticks and looked at them.

        "You ... said ... that ... you ... did this ... research ... in 2016, so seven years ago ... does that mean the files are up to 2016?"

        Her answer came quickly and came as no surprise to Ferdinand Groide or James Fraser:

        "No, I made the last additions three weeks ago. At that time Frank was - supposedly - at a meeting of historians in Canberra. So all the files should be almost up to date."

        Groide was struck dumb. Jamie had no recollection of ever seeing the old man like that. He had sunk slightly into himself and his face had lost the rosy colour that was so characteristic of him. He was obviously aware of the heavy responsibility that came with owning these sticks. Claire's information could change the fate of at least three or more nations. Groide knew it and Jamie knew it, too. But was Claire aware of it? Jamie could not answer this question.

        His friend took off his glasses with the angular golden rims and wiped his eyes. A long breath of air escaped the old man's lungs. Then he looked at Claire:

        "And you want to give me, I mean us, this information freely?"

        Claire nodded:

        "Yes."

        "May I ask you, are you doing this to get back at your husband?"

        "No, I mean yes, you may ask me. But the answer is no. I was thinking of using it against him in case of divorce. But having read so much about the history of Scotland, I think that something like this ... must never happen again. And..."

        "And?"

        Now ist was Claire who took a deep breath.

        "And having learned by chance this afternoon what a member of my husband's family had done to Mr. Fraser, I don't want anything like that to happen to anybody else."

        Groide looked over at Jamie, but kept silent.

        "All I ask is that you use the information you receive from me in a way that will prevent harm."

China-usb / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)

        Groide had his eyes on the tabletop and the USB sticks in front of him. Claire and Jamie heard the hands on the big wall clock that hung behind them ticking. A few moments passed, during which they all remained silent.

        "Mrs. Beauchamp, I want you to know that I have great respect for your decision. I'm just one small weel in a much larger machine. But I promise you that I will use all my influence to see that this information is handled as you wish. I also want you to know that we have no hostile feelings towards your country here. On the contrary. The Brexit and its consequences are much regretted in our country by most people. And not just for economic reasons. We miss the voice and political weight of your country. The oldest democracy in the modern Western world has always had an important, a great weight in this Union - also to establish a political balance. You know, there are member states that have not been familiar with the democratic system for so long. So far, things have gone reasonably well, but the loss of the British vote in the Europan Parliament could lead to dangerous imbalances ... And then we must not forget the human relations. I myself grew up many decades before the reunification of our country in a West German state where British troops were stationed. The British were neighbours for us. A friend of mine, who has since passed away, married an English woman, joined the Anglican Church and became military chaplain for these troops in his city. Friends of mine had planned to buy a small cottage in the southwest of England and spend their retirement there. Many of the cities where I lived had partnerships with English cities. We all very much regret the developments of the last ten years ... and we can only hope that a future generation may be able to reverse them. I hope you know that you are very welcome, not just because you are giving us this information or as a health professional, but as a person. And I hope you'll be able to settle in."

        Claire nodded. Then she reached out her hand and put it on the old man's right hand.

        "Thank you, Mr. Groide. I appreciate it."

        "You can call me Ferdinand, if you like."

        "Sure, Ferdinand, I'm Claire."

        "Thanks, Claire."

        "Well, after that eventful work meeting, let's have a nice drink, shall we? How about a whisky?"

        Jamie looked at her expectantly.

        Claire nodded.

        "I'd love one."

        Groide shook his head.

        "Jamie, you know I don't drink that stuff. I'll have a vodka, please."

        "You see Claire," Jamie said with an ironic undertone, "you might as well learn something about the Germans here. When it comes to alcohol, they have no taste."

        He handed her a glass of whisky.

        "He's right, Claire. And remember one more thing. We have absolutely no sense of humor either."

        The men began to giggle and Jamie had to stop for a moment before he handed the glass of vodka to Groide.

        "You may say what you usually say about my taste in alcohol, Jamie," Groide then said jokingly.

        Jamie looked at Claire with a grin.

        "He spent too much time with Russians, they spoiled his taste."

  Wodka / Vodka Rene1905

        "Sa sdarovje!" was all Groide would answer. Then he turned to Claire again:

        "You said earlier that you intend to ask for a divorce from your husband?"

        "Yes, I do. I hope it's also possible from here."

        Groide looked at her thoughtfully.

        "Do you object to Claire's request, Ferdinand?"

        "No, I understand the request very well. I'm just worried it might put MI5 on to you, Jamie."

        A mild shock drove Claire through and she nearly choked on the whisky she'd just taken.

#14DaysofOutlander #Outlander #Outlander Fan Fiction #From Boston to Berlin in 14 Hours #Boston #Berlin #Claire Beauchamp #jamie fraser #Ian Murray #Jenny Murray #Frank Randall #Germany #Modern AU

[a-woman-apart]

Separating the Boys from the Men

Yes, that title is click bait, and if you keep reading, you’ve been warned. I’ve got a lot to get off my chest, and it’s going to involve defending masculinity, femininity, and our right to BEHAVE LIKE CHILDREN FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES because in many ways, we already do. 

Let’s get straight to the point. As Millennials, regardless of our age, financial status, or level of “success” (air quotes 100% intentional) we have been accused of being lazy, entitled, and way too enthusiastic about avocado toast. At the same time, we have been described as having enough power to decimate the napkin industry, the diamond industry, and the concept of traditional marriage. We have been accused of a collective “Peter Pan” syndrome, because we “refuse” to cut off papa’s apron strings and get off the proverbial mama’s teats. 

Wonderful to know. 

Let’s unpack the “lazy” bit. Supposedly, this is tied to the fact that we have access to higher education, we [often, not always] have parents who financially support or house us well into adulthood. 

So now, my question is, Gen X (the entitled ones, ironically) and Salty Boomers, YOU DIDN’T? 

What do you call that “inheritance” you received? What do you call that education your parents paid for that was less than 1/3 what we have to pay? For Boomers, how do you explain the lavish weddings, cheap [and apparently nuke proof] home appliances, and “nights out on the town” that you were able to afford by working at whatever passed for a McDonald’s back in the day? Working on a farm, at a grocery store, or in retail used to ACTUALLY provide a livable wage; for us, those are a “side hustle” and we still have to get a “big boy job” that usually requires an education that can put us over $100,000 in debt by age 30. 

Hate to say it, but if you hadn’t made most of your income “during the War” or in  the absolute economic boom that followed it, you wouldn’t survive 24 hours in our shoes before having an emotional collapse.  

Despite the disastrous living conditions of the U.S. in the 21st Century, not much has changed in how men define their level of “manliness.” 

Financial gains (stocks, bonds, portfolio, bank account) 

Bro “gains” (a.k.a. “gym gains”, how “Gaston” they are, including whether they want to go for the Adonis, Apollo, or Brawny boi look, or just how far they can throw something or how “boyish” they look if strength isn’t an option and they suffer from femme-levels of body dysmorphia) 

Body count (since we’re in a time of peace and not literally war, this is LITERALLY a modern term describing how many people you’ve slept with, and I have never heard an adult man, regardless of sexual orientation, who isn’t a little concerned about putting those notches in the bed post, and if not that, VERY concerned about his bedroom performance: it’s quality vs. quantity) 

Kill death Ratio (I know this is a video game term now, but did you know that before video games, men in England used to regularly get on horseback, get a bunch of hounds together, and chase down tiny foxes and rabbits? FOR FUN?!?!? Did you know, that before modern sports ((including Esports)), men used to just fight to the death, regularly, even if an official war wasn’t going on? It was known as “dueling”, and in less socially developed societies, men still behave like this. So the next time you complain about “male rage” and how heartless it is to make live chickens fight, note that even though we’ve quelled male anger and hostility on some level, you will NEVER be able to take away man’s urge to destroy. Boys and men will always like knocking things over, building things from the rubble, and ruling shit. It’s what they do-- and we women can and do, too, but we have a LOT more risk-aversion and self-preservation, which is a blessing and a curse for our species-- but we just need to make sure humanity as a whole stays...chill)

So what, say ye, has changed about how WOMEN define themselves now vs. in the past. I would say that very little has changed, but the level of internalized misogyny, insecurity, and good-old fashioned denial has SKYROCKETED. 

Let’s look at some terms of how the majority of women value themselves. 

Financial Security (few women will admit to “wanting to be rich”, because that sounds kind of “Trump”, but plenty will talk about having minimum income requirements for their partner(s), wanting to retire at a young age so they can “travel the world”, wanting to eliminate their debts, etc. It’s different language but essentially it translates to: I want to work so hard or marry into so much wealth that I never want to worry about money after age 35. #Hustle) 

Looks (it doesn’t matter if you want a Kardashian butt, you’re in the body positivity movement, or you just want to “dress like a bawse” women are just as obsessed with clothes, image, and body weight/shape/size as they ever were, it is just that now that we’ve “slain the patriarchy” we have more fashion options than ever before, because “boy clothes” are just as “in” as femme ones)

Ability to attract a partner (some women, like me, “chase”, but thanks to biology, most women, regardless of sexual orientation, seem to enjoy being pursued more than being Artemis-style hunters. This is evidenced by the fact that when the feminist owner of Bumble changed the rules of the dating website to where women had to start conversations with men rather than vice versa ((a move that had ostensibly zero effect on lesbian matching)) 72% of women that she later surveyed stated that they liked it better when men were approaching them rather than the other way around. I am sure Bumble’s female CEO was shook ((as was I)), especially because she made the change to empower women, and apparently 72% of women didn’t want the power because it meant they now had the power to face rejection, and it made them uncomfortable. Big yikes. So much for #EndPatriarchy and #ChivalryisDead ?)

Playing house (this is probably going to get me some unfollows, but I’ll take my chances. Women, regardless of sexual orientation, often seem to be REALLY into having babies or just “playing house.” There’s also men like this, too, “Family men” as they’re aptly called, men in love with fatherhood ((or just being called “daddy”, and that will never not be weird)). So many women who never want to pop out a baby describe being taken by an OVERWHELMING urge to fuck during their “fertile window” ((or is that just me?)) and seeing every baby alive as the cutest human being ever once we pass the tender age of 25. The biological clock is REAL, and I learned the hard way that being bisexual and having immense fear of pregnancy and childbirth didn’t spare me from the awful truth of my biology. 

I really don’t want to keep making references to modern video games, but they seem to serve the dual purpose of being deeply satisfying and helping us to quell “problematic” urges, including that one to dominate and destroy the world. For a lot of women gamers, though, our choices ((on a broad scale, every #girlgamer is different)) deviate from men’s in some interesting ways. 

#1: We still love The Sims Franchise way more than guys do 

Not only do we love it, but while a lot of men (again, #notallmen) tend to build elaborate neighborhoods to extensively mod and destroy them in terrifying ways, I still see women gamers taking obscene amounts of time to design homes, raise happy little families, and cause TERRIFYING blood feuds by having Sims marry Sims from rival families ((I guess we’re more Shakespeare than we thought, eh ladies?))

#2: We make up most of mobile gaming

Most male gamers think mobile games “aren’t real” and I tend to agree, but a mobile game is invaluable for when I, a woman, have time to kill between the 3 jobs I hypothetically have and I and don’t want to whip out something like a Nintendo 2DS that is both unwieldly and attracts the eyes of every impoverished, thieving human being in a .5 mile radius. #RiskAversion. These games are often low-quality, mindless, and insanely easy, but that is WHY WE LIKE THEM. Our entire life is a job. #Hustle

#3 We also love farming sims and RPGs

While we-- and most male Millennials-- beg god to not have to birth calves, milk cows, or labor in the tomato fields under the hot sun, most of us have no objection to having our virtual avatars perform the same back-breaking tasks to the tune of cheerful chiptune music. Also, even though men definitely enjoy them, too, I have never met a woman gamer who didn’t enjoy a nice RPG; why do you think we’re such avid readers of fantasy/romance YA? 

We want to be transported to a different world, and if you won’t take us there, we’re happy to go there virtually ((because we probably can’t afford travel; we’re still millennials)). 

Ability to murder people who threaten our young or our partner(s) (Okay this one is a bit more complicated, but I’m just going to tell you a bit about female animals. DON’T MESS WITH THEIR BABIES IF YOU WANT TO LIVE. Human females, are, in that regard, just as savage, if not more so, than our male counterparts. 

I’ve never heard of any woman ((outside of prison, maybe)) who killed another woman for “looking at her weird” or saying “your mama” too many times. I’ve heard plenty of women threaten literal murder because another woman ((or man, we’re #progressive)) came too close to her romantic/sexual partner, or another human being threatened harm on our kids or our “squad.” 

I don’t know where the meme truly originated from, but “Don’t talk to me or my son ever again” is SUCH a Mom thing to say. So much misandry is wrapped up in the idea that men are predators, and that is true, but not in the excessively sexually deviant ways you think ((that’s only sometimes true)). They just like hunting things, including people, but if you give them a toy to play with ((I MEAN ACTUAL TOY OMG)) they seem alright. Let them go play with their cars, Xbox, [insert whatever] or something. They’re men, okay, they’re easily distracted/impressed/occupied. 

Women, on the other hand, have seemed to be having an EXTREME amount of trouble curbing that baby-making urge, or the Excessive Nurturing Urge, that one that makes you ask your grown husband if he’s remembered to pack lunch for work or if he remembered to pack money for his playdate with his bros, because he’s gonna need money at Six Flags and you aren’t going to bring it to him because he should’ve remembered, you reminded him 30093390 times. 

THAT’S NOT HIS FAULT. HE HAS MANAGED BY SOME MIRACLE TO STAY ALIVE FOR 33 YEARS. THAT’S YOU, SWEETIE. STOP BEING SUCH A MOM. GO BE A NURSE, DOCTOR, OR SOCIAL WORKER OR SOMETHING OMG. 

In summary...

What separates the “men from the boys” or the “women from the girls” isn’t the era that we were born in to, our economic status, or whether we’ve been able to “conquer” our biology. That’s definitely not possible yet, chiefly because transhumanism involves a lengthy, ethics-guided process, and even if we all turn into cyborgs, the goal is to become BETTER humans, not LESS humane. Societal advancements have done more in terms of making us healthier, less destructive citizens of planet earth than raw technology ever can and ever will. Rapid technological advancement, when not combined with respect for morality, ethical standards of living for humans and all other life forms, almost always leads to human slavery, widespread abuse of animals, sex trafficking, and environmental destruction, because the “rules of supply and demand”, when not governed by strong international trade laws, dictate that consumers should be supplied with whatever they demand, because the suppliers can profit, and their right to profit should be defended at any cost. 

So, in summary, I believe that “adulting” involves giving up on entitlement. What separates a truly childish human being-- regardless of their actual age-- from someone who is, in essence, “adulting” is experience, and how much those experiences serve to broaden that person’s perspective. It is an extremely childish, self-centered view, to think that you “deserve” anything for being “a good person” or, in the case of many a “woman child” or “man child” in media and in real life, just being “not so bad.” 

Grown-ups are able and willing to do something that is known as “delaying gratification” which is the simple ability to delay a temporary pleasure for a long-term gain. Grown-ups are also able to perform true “cost-benefit analyses” to determine if a course of action, business deal, or even relationship is worth their time and effort. Finally, grown-ups are able and willing and able to make an informed choice and stick to it; in essence, we don’t try to “have our cake and eat it too” we understand that once we’ve eaten that cake, the cake is gone, but we also realize that if we are willing to work hard and make sacrifices, we can earn the ingredients to make ourselves another cake to eat, even if we might need a lot of help from other adults in getting those ingredients (we call this teamwork and cooperation). 

Children, on the other hand (in literal and metaphorical terms), are very impatient. They get angry when things don’t go their way, and instead of taking the steps needed to improve their situation, they storm off and return home. It doesn’t matter if their home is with their parents, with their 3 roommates, or with their husband or wife, these people throw tantrums, refuse to communicate/cooperate, and stew in their displeasure until someone feels sorry for them and fixes their problem for them. They lack the ability to work through daily life problems and refuse to take any responsibility for how their actions or inaction contributed to their dilemma. 

There is one difference with an actual human child or teen, though, is that they have an excuse. Their brains are still developing, and they haven’t had the chance to live through these situations yet; these are new challenges to them. Even if they do have a “bad attitude”, with help from peers and patients, principled adult mentors and teachers, these cantankerous kids can grow into well-adjusted, able adults. The high levels of neuroplasticity in their brains actually make it so that it is easier for them to accept large amounts of sensory data and to learn from processing and practicing using it.

An “adult child” is someone who, more often than not, has been coddled instead of challenged. These people have often faced no significant hardships in life. There is a reason why, even after we have recognized the immense downsides of authoritarian parenting and have demonstrated psychological harms of corporal punishment for kids, we still call “bad kids” and “irresponsible adults” spoiled. 

Authoritarianism produces rigid, scared people who often struggle with critical thinking and self-esteem or end up being authoritarian parents themselves, but that last one is actually one of the less likely options. Children of authoritarian parents often develop Borderline Personality Disorder or become defiant against authority (shocker). Overly permissive or overly neglectful parenting, though, are parental styles most associated with producing narcissists, who often become authoritarian parents, because when their kids challenge them, they completely lack the patience or emotional capacity to deal with it and resort to “because I said so”, stonewalling and/or physical abuse as forms of “character-building.” 

The reason why overly permissive parents spoil their kids is because kids actually do need discipline and guidance, and so these kinds of parents produce kids who are outwardly capable and confident but completely lack any of the life skills to justify it, and when they ask their parents for advice they are just met with a bunch of hippie mumbo jumbo or told to just avoid the conflict rather than resolve it. These kids grow into adults who are still sad little kids inside, because they never grew up, but now they’re sad little kids who are articulate and well-spoken and now can-- and often have no choice-- but to con their way through adult life because they’ve maxed out Charisma and they have almost no points in Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, or Dexterity.

The only parenting style worse than Authoritarian and Neglectful/Permissive is Mixed, in which a child grows up in a COMPLETELY unpredictable environment where the rules of the game change from day to day, and parents either give their children no attention at all, or they practically lock them up and throw away the key. Being raised like this is associated with the worse outcomes for the child throughout life. 

So, why am I now talking about parenting styles? Because, for all that we love to trash Boomers and large swaths of Gen X on this page, we can’t forget where they came from, so we cannot allow them to forget WHO THEY MADE. It isn’t an accident that even though we live in the times of incredible economic hardship, WE are the generation (and Gen Z, to some extent) that got hooked on reality TV, video games, and social media in incredibly unhealthy ways. A lot of us 30+ millennials are growing out of it, and a lot of us have realized that it is an invaluable (and damn near unavoidable) way of marketing our products and talents. We’re often self-employed because that’s our only option in most cases. 

The issue with Gen Z (who, while we called “Zoomers” now just all themselves “Doomers” and I think we should be a bit concerned about that) is that unlike us, they have no memory of “Before the Internet.” We remember dial up, we remember before that when you played outside untl the sun went down. They don’t have the privilege of being linked to that history. 

Now, we have to be the Bigger Person. It’s our time to be Grown-Ups. Gen Z feels really fucking lost right now, and hearing us whine about our parents probably makes them pretty pissed off, when some of us older millennials are the parents, aunts/uncles, and older siblings to Gen Z kids. Even if we can’t be mentors, we have to lead by example, because we have a responsibility to these kids. A lot of them aren’t stupid, they see exactly what’s happening and they feel incredibly hopeless about it. Greta Thunberg is still 16 years old. She shouldn’t be out there doing that; I mean seriously, climate change is accelerating, but it isn’t even as bad as Al Gore said, it’s still reversible, but the fact that SHE FELT SHE HAD TO makes us shitty people. ALL OF US. 

So you know, we all need to stop being hypocrites. We need to stop being entitled. We need to stop thinking this is about us. It isn’t. Not even close. We’re not important, even if our videos go viral or if we’re swimming in cash next to hot models by a huge swimming pool. America’s fucked up. I hate to sound Republican, but it’s because of our values. We suck at valuing what’s important, and if we don’t change that soon, it’s really going to suck to live in America. 

It already does.  

#american exceptionalism #woman child #man child #we're all just taller children #god bless America #we are neither brave nor free #make it all stop #roasting millennials #roasting women #roasting men #Gen Z is our last hope #we have failed our kids #father forgive them #goddess forgive them #what will we do #look what we've done #my world's on fire how bout yours #fourth industrial revolution #end neoliberal capitalism #climate change deniers #rant

[incarnateirony]

15.07 Thoughts

So 

1. Y’all know I’ve been very opinionated about certain things, but my inbox has been such a perpetual onslaught that I haven’t had time to really *sit and genuinely write*

2. This is premised 100% off of an expansion on a beautiful post by @heliodean​ (x)  -- or more, I would say that heliodean already wrote most of what I would begin to say, and very elegantly about the text, subtext, representation, visibility, canonicity, but that all as a simple underline to the growth evidenced by Dean. 2b. That is to say, that while the queer text is itself indivisible from the original text, I would like to expand on a few points that are also character-specific, and I didn’t want to kidnap a representation-leaning post to discuss only phantasmally attached affairs.

So again, @heliodean‘s post is an absolute must-read, but building aside on the discussion of Dean’s growth as expressed in the episode, I wanted to focus on some personal John-facing issues.

While helio mentioned Lee’s last advent of Dean being when he idolized John Winchester, which is very true, but I think several of their engagements -- including, yes, the queer narrative but not dependent on it -- are hugely reflecting. 

Even if we take, in example, Dean, ass slaps, waitresses and Lee -- a common discussion point  is for example that despite open flirtation, Dean dismisses her like she brought his burger over too well done, implicitly. She was there, literally while they talked about double dogging someone down, and despite ass slaps and flirts and posturing, she just kind of vanished into the aether, a thought to neither of them.

How this attaches to the John related issues actually requires dropping a level deeper, when you realize that while the implication is itself surface level text, the words hang instead in old canons, just reflecting at the surface; the sense of history being tangible between them is there for a reason.  Even if you took the most heteronormative read on how to double-dick down an ungendered individual, that we hetly decide was female, and that the balls never touched or whatever because *big gay panic* the choice to literally bring that to center discussion after Dean implicitly seemed to forget it ever existed, or act like he didn’t want to talk about it until being charmed by the memory in particular.

Or perhaps, more realistically in the subtext to the *actual text* as expository line everybody is spinning circles on -- quite simply, there were triplets and there was a woman shared between them, but she wasn’t what he remembered. As far as Dean was concerned, there was one woman and, very quite-down-to-point, one man has was sharing. The fact that he happened to have trimmings of a spare woman as a commentary didn’t even plink his memory. *Holy shit* 

-- (and let’s be real, MOST OF THIS WAS IN DIRECT TEXT TOO. The only “subtext” is the most liminal understanding that words connect to each other and sentences are usually related to the discussion at hand, but that’s about what people call subtext these days. Dean literally forgot and had to be reminded. I guess “subtext” is applying the working adult brain to figure out how the FUCK you forget who you were putting your dick in. The tryst itself, the bizarre things Dean forgot, these are all... well, text. And the rest is so narrowly subtext that someone missing it out of genuine ignorance and not petty malice and active choice/reconfiguration is pretty much contingent on someone literally not thinking at all)

like

I’m not gonna heavily debate textuality in this post because at this point, fandom dialogue is a helium inflated parody of itself on most of that, but like I really? Don’t give a shit? How someone tries to move the goalposts around? Seriously grab that whole scene at the table front to back, and then the stage, and show that to some random straight guy you know that doesn’t even watch the show. I’m going to tell you 99.9999% right now the first thing to come out of their mouth is “That’s fuckin gay” or some variation of it into various fields of PC-facing culture. The hilarity of trying to run defense lines for them at this point is somewhere out in orbit in Alpha Centauri, bitching about a whole other solar system of shit.

But taking back to that -- that waitress, that woman that just evaporated. That was a different time. That’s when Dean wanted fodder between him and anyone else he had a deep connection with. That’s when Dean *did* womanize. Did bury himself in skin. 

And frankly that’s a Dean that hasn’t existed for a long time while fandom has sat in general denial about it, or the canonicity or *sets off carousel music*

(My mood every time a young bright eyed LGBT warrior thinks they’re doing a service by dismissing, deleting or denying low-visibility LGBT text)

Mutual ass slaps and vigorous bisexual reactions be damned, Lee’s adoration OF John was even brought into text, be it the solemn vigil he held up in his service, or his textual “I’m you” to Dean, and everything old Dean might have become if things hadn’t dramatically shifted gears in his life; but something the *here* and *now* is trying to make him become.

Reaching into the alchemical stuff again, be it Silver And Gold, or Nothing Gold Can Stay, or Golden Time, or now, the monster that spits out fake gold as long as you feed it, and stop caring. The thing Chuck is trying to make them. The things -- the people -- the building treasures in their life of Eileen, and Castiel, and yes, lost several episodes but not forgotten, Jack and Mary; Eileen treasure found anew, Cas a treasure lost that took the last light of his family, and Jack and Mary’s shadows, with him.

The force that broke their chain, the force that was first ready to face authority, because this was not a new battle to him; it had just been given new meaning, many years ago, when he first faced Dean. Dean echoes the broken despair Cas once saw life as from angelic roost, and Cas stands instead for every lesson Humanity taught him, and continues the fight, and walks away from a toxic vortex of destruction drilled and doubled down on by Chuck’s purposeful machinations -- machinations Dean convinced him to break from long ago, but the man that the angel fell for is not who he is now; the fire he gained from Mary went out in her death into the dark and obsessive and introverted blackened side of John Winchester, not the one that, taking his wife’s hand, disappeared into gold.

(Don’t even get me started on the recurrence of this exact shot in Dabb’s SPN, we’ll end up in a whole other aside.)

“Nothing Gold Can Stay.” This is the lesson Chuck has been trying to force down their throats alongside murder suicide. It is our target subversion, but--

This episode fundamentally *exists* to just *put Dean Winchester’s growth into perspective*. Be that textually affirmative bisexuality (regardless of if it’s visible enough for everyone’s taste, which I hold in bizarre levels of wtf question/suspicion), or about the boy of vices and basically casual misogyny and grim habit that has grown into a man that -- while he may remember it fondly with crinkles in the corner of his eyes, he doesn’t flit it to whatever filler is in the seats between them, but to that old “friend” that, you know. *jazz hands* 

About his fight with resignation that has griefed him since his first demon deal, and of self worth, and of what he has learned, and of what he will deep down never let anyone take away, even if he’s made to question it.

(Dabb on 14.13 Lebanon and the lessons imbued)

This episode??? Like??? Jeremy Adams didn’t blow me out of the water. I jettisoned somewhere into another galaxy or some shit. Here I am holding tentative resignation about how bad the new (presumed) straight white male author on crew is gonna do while looking at history, but giving benefit of the doubt, making a few jokes??? And then it’s like HELLO YES ALL OF THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. WHAT KIND OF FIRST EPISODE BLACK MAGIC? THAT WAS A BOBO LEVEL FIRST EPISODE. 

Oh my god.

I mean, I’m sure we all saw it coming, like deadass you all know I’m not a genius for saying and expecting -- Dean, lessons learned and remorseful from these last few misadventures, coming in to want to talk to Cas, who has had no such giving and keeps his focus on the target, outside of his perceivably crumbled relationship. Like, expecting this is about as simple as expecting them to fight monsters, or Sam and Dean disagreeing over a method/plan. 

But as unsurprising as it is, it held weight and value, after the episode -- as given in my addition to the original referenced link -- spent its entire time framing loss of best friends, empty space, the ramifications of turning one’s back, and knowing gold when you have it and what’s worth fighting for. 

Now, to fall back to touching on the textuality topic: I thank 15.07 for the display of performative absurdity. It’s not the first episode to rip open and expose fandom’s dirty underbelly and intersectional marginalization forces wearing an LGBT Activism Suit -- 14.03 also did so loudly by Bobo (eg read: “The Problem with Dreamhunter” [A post that points out what people will accept for canonization when there isn't a rival ship or excessive projection of antis specific to a ship which is *SPOILER ALERT* nowhere near what everyone pretends is needed when they want to argue just to argue and some intersectional WLW vs MLM issues]) -- but it was the first to approach it directly with Dean, much less so textually. 

The ridiculous redefinition of words, of “what *I* think canon means” whipped completely out of fandom generated buzz and no dictionary on the face of the planet -- the demands, and the active erasure of existing LGBT text because it wasn’t *visible enough* -- really does show a seedy side of fandom that wears a nice Representation Warrior dress sometimes, but betrays a series of issues:

Most points boil down to “I won’t acknowledge any text unless it is loud enough to argue down any idiot I ever meet”, putting the focus not on representative resonance and value of quality of text, but on personal vindication for raw argumentation. A world where trolls and their personal agendas have actually taken *greater importance* to people than the representative text, and is an absolutely abysmal motivation or bottom line for any discussion and yes, if you recoiled and feel ashamed or called out about that, rather than patching over your pride and doubling down, maybe skim the reblog tags bisexual people have left on my several dozen posts about the damages of them being actively deleted is doing.

If you care about representation, you’ll think about that. Even if it’s not the loudly visible version of representation you *want*, it is what it is, and well--it is. Pretty simply. There is no perfect fantasy world where everybody understands and wants the thing you do. And I’m not just talking about LGBT rep. I’m talking about the people you pretend to need to argue gay canon with still being absolutely flummoxed by canon itself, like them saying “family don’t end with blood” and “found family” are “fanon concepts”. People that are confused where demons go when they die. People that rebuke literally many-times textualized non-gay things just to suit their personal agenda. And shockingly, they have a personal agenda about the gay content too.  

I’m talking about straight pairings like mulder and scully that got no romo’ed around even after they kissed and got pregnant and the whole nine, because bawww that’s not what the show is about so *allow me to build elaborate theories that make no sense and pretend they have standing in canon equal to the straightforward read*.

Cuz that’s where we’re at right now. Our fandom is just particularly bonky, and has been allowed to go so far off the edge of the map and away from center GA-resonant discussion that the bog standard antis have literally come up with body-mutilating necrophilia as an answer to avoid the gay, and somehow... *shruuuuug?* people act like these people not only are of equal worth but like... deserve... any consideration long term? Which is when we lean into the next point on MOTIVATION.

So ask at what point arguing with tinhats beat out your actual interest in representation and LGBT rights and media issues. Ask at what point you surrendered your focus on feeling resonant with a character that has been textually acknowledged, and traded that for implying you suddenly can’t relate to the character until he performs [X] exact function, exactly how you want, and when you want. Hell, I have even gotten an anon that literally said they would have acknowledged it if SPN had given them what they want when they wanted-- so basically, too late, not enough.

That’s not how text works. Whether the text came ten years ago or now, the text is the text. Your personal fulfillment aside, text is text. And I highly urge people to stop demanding tokenism above demographic-targeted representative types (eg bisexual, raised in the 80s in a patriarchal/power/grit based society and its own associated dogmas, fairly masculine identity, and so on) or demanding characters perform as if they were from another demographic (be it age or gender) because that’s your demographic. 

Once you start removing elements of the represented demographics (LGBT, male, age, origin, etc) and wanting it to perform by way of *your* demographic’s behaviors or base line needs/wants, that’s when we’ve left representation. That’s when we’re demanding tokenization. And when you’re demanding tokenization to win internet fights with people who don’t even believe what they say, you have long left the representation wheelhouse. That’s what we call troll wars. 

Do not let LGBT media representation be kidnapped into troll wars. Do not let content be degraded or removed just to engage in troll wars. And if you want to engage in troll wars, and you value the arguments more than the discussion *of* representation intersectional issues, and methods, and all around it -- then just... stop. Stop saying you want representation. Don’t. 

I’m tired.

#supernatural #spn #meta #my meta #pagan life #gold #alchemy #hermeticism #jeremy adams #15.07 #dean winchester #mine

[sometimesrosy]

I’ve been thinking a lot about outlander and t100 which has led me to this; I see so many similarities between j/c and b/c. Yes, Clarke and Bellamy can “live” without the other, it’s like Jamie and Claire said to each other, it’s like living without a heart, or with half a heart. Claire had to raise Brianna so she did and she had a life and a job, Clarke raised Maddie and created a home. Jamie had a job and married someone, Bellamy became the leader of spacekru and got with echo. But then they

Pt.2 to an outlander/t100 ask; they found each other again and Claire and Jamie dropped everything to be together. And so did Bellamy for Clarke kinda. Dropped his people and echo and sanctum and ran off to save Clarke no matter what. So even though C/J are definitely more soul matey-dependent on each other, both couples have loved each other through space and time. For years, and have found their way back to each other every time. Love that for my two fav ships ❤️❤️❤️❤️

+++

I just caught up (almost) on this season Outlander (i still have to watch last night’s show because i couldn’t wait to get ALL the season on dvr,) so i dug this question out of my inbox. Sorry to keep you waiting so long.

Bellarke and J/C are, I think, the same romantic trope in many ways. That love beyond death, time and space epic love thing. 

In fact, is this a spoiler? I think this is a spoiler. So I’ll try to be a little vague.

The last episode I watched had Jamie near death, and the only thing that brought him back was Claire’s love/touch. Love’s true kiss/kiss of life sorta. 

And when they had their intimate discussion the next day when they woke up, (bellarke had one too,) Jamie told her that he came back because she needed him. (Bellamy told Clarke he needed her too.) Claire asked “not because you love me?” (which would never happen with bellarke, no saying the L word.) And Jamie said he loved her when they’re together and when they’re apart and even in death he’ll love her. Which, fine, that didn’t happen on The 100, or rather, they never SAID that on the 100 because Bellarke don’t TALK about things like that... BUT Clarke lived for 6 years talking to him every day because he kept her going. And Bellamy lived with a bit of Clarke’s heart inside his heart and tried to live for her. So their love, too, unstated as it may be, also follows Jamie’s statement. 

It’s the same archetypal story. Fated lovers, soulmates, separated by cruel fate/gods/apocalypse, but a love that is true and real and continues past death, time and space. 

Clarke was assumed to have died in praifaya/Jamie was assumed to have died in Culloden. Bellamy went to space/Claire went to America.  Clarke lived for Madi/Claire lived for Brianna.  Bellarke had 6 years apart/Claire and Jamie had 20? years apart. Bellamy discovered Clarke was alive through distant messages/Claire discovered Jamie was alive through distant messages. The lovers were reunited, in jeopardy. Oh and they had to deal with relationships over the time jump. Bellamy w E/Jamie with Laoighre (did I spell it right?Laoghaire) Hah then they had fights with the powers that be. Then they went on a journey. (Bellarke to sanctum/Jamie and Claire to America.)

Well then our two stories are separated, because while they both have the same archetypal love story, they are told in different GENRES. Outlanders is a time travelers and warriors history in a romance genre. The 100 is an epic love story in a post apocalyptic action tragedy science fiction genre. 

The romance genre has, as it’s core plot, “how do these epic lovers find each other/save each other/find a HEA.” Jamie and Claire are an established relationship, married (arranged marriage trope actually, they married before they fell in love,) with children (brianna, roger, fergus, ian, marsali,) and GRANDCHILDREN (Jemmie and all Fergus and Marsali’s kids.) Traditional romance should have a Happy Ever After ending or a Happy For Now ending. But this whole epic thing puts a doubt on how everything will work out. Their struggles never end. Is the book series even done yet? I don’t know. (there are ten books planned she’s only published 8)

The post apocalyptic science fiction show OFTEN has a romance at it’s center, but not always, and being post apocalyptic genre, does NOT have a required Happy Ever After ending, so the romance could end tragically or disappointingly. You never know if the post apocalyptic stories are going to end with hope or end with no hope. And that puts the romance at the center of its story at risk. Take, for instance, Maggie and Glenn on The Walking Dead. ): Great love story shown on screen. beautiful. D:  ): Not so much a happy ever after show. More like a life sucks and then you die and then you come back as a zombie show. HOWEVER, I do think that JR is tending towards the happy ever after bittersweet post apocalyptic genre, as evidenced by Marper’s ending. They broke the cycle and lived a life on their terms. HOWEVER again, it’s not certain, as evidenced by KABBY’s ending, where they DIDN’t break the cycle... or Kane broke the cycle that Abby was continuing. So though their love was lost, it was sacrificed to a better world. Anyway. It’s dangerous to ship on a non romance show. imo. 

But for Bellarke, the central relationship of The 100, with a love story archetype that matches the swoonworthy Outlander story, we have “how do these epic lovers find each other/save each other/find a HEA” with the CORE plot, and then the umbrella plot, the “plot” plot, of “How do Clarke and her soulmate Bellamy save and redeem humanity and become the good guys?” So we’re watching the umbrella plot while the core plot is going on. 

BOTH stories have the main characters suffering ENDLESSLY, with themes of love, love lost, betrayal, family, found family, war, the end of the world (literally for The 100 and for certain people [the highland scots, and i think the native americans] in Outlander, generations, warriors heroes, DOCTOR heroines, trying to become a hero/find your place, death and a heroine who stops death, saving your people, trauma, ptsd, tyranny, criminals, heroes who are called criminals.

Clarke and Bellamy are a good deal younger than Claire and Jamie, and in a time when people don’t start their families so young, and also where women aren’t subordinate.  But also, The 100 has a hope of breaking the cycle of violence because it’s about the future, while Outlander, about the past, cannot break the cycle of violence. We KNOW Britain defeats the clans. We KNOW that slavery will last for generations and the natives will be driven out and massacred. 

So what Claire and Jamie are looking for is a way to ESCAPE the fated horrors that they can’t stop. While Clarke and Bellamy are looking for a way to STOP the impending horrors and make up for the past.

These two stories definitely have a conversation going. Did JR read Outlander before starting The 100? Quite possible. In fact maybe THAT’S why he says it’s not a time travel story even when we know something wonky is going on with time. Because OUTLANDER is a time travel story and this isn’t like that at all. 

#the 100 #outlander #comparative lit #genre #romantic tropes #archetypes #parallels

[mimiorzea]

2, 7, 14, 21, 23, 24, 35, 40 for goth dragon dad (2/3)

(in reference to [this ask meme]!)

2) Who do they look to for guidance?

when Chiyo was still alive, it was very common for Khaizo to have sort of mental “conversations” with himself on what he thought Tama would do in a given situation. he wanted to maintain a sense of Tama's presence in Chiyo's life, so honoring what he thought Tama would have wanted with her was important to him; he also spent a lot of his time in those years feeling lost, especially in the beginning, so this idea that he might be able to "talk to her" and imagine her guidance on any number of things was something he leaned on a lot.

after Chiyo died, he felt (among countless other things) that he had failed Tama by failing to protect their daughter, which meant that he spent a lot of time instead feeling too ashamed to take comfort in or consult his memory of Tama for guidance the way he used to. thus, in the years since, that memory -- of what she might say, of her voice, etc. -- has slowly eroded and grown more distant.

on a less serious note, he also quite respects Percevains, his much older coworker, and even Walcher, an older local alchemist he knows. although his advancing age and reclusive nature means he interacts with increasingly less of his "elders," he still has a reflexive respect for them, perhaps ingrained by his upbringing. it's questionable whether Khaizo would ever go asking these individuals for life advice, but should they offer it to him, he will often at least seriously consider it out of respect for their greater experience.

(he also, in acknowledging Liloie's close relationship with her own daughter, eventually comes to consult her for guidance on navigating difficult circumstances with Yesugen.)

7) Any family scandals? Does your character know about them?

gosh. the answer here is "yes, probably," but i haven't thought of any specifically.

Khaizo got more exposure to his mother's side of the family, which also had some significant notoriety in his tribe, so any scandals he was aware of probably came from that side. his mother's decision to marry a man from the Ura tribe -- especially one who didn't stand out for his hunting proficiency, one of the Khatayin's most valued standards of excellence -- was shocking and likely talked about as a point of gossip, but wasn't necessarily a scandal. the fact that his uncle eventually took up the bow instead of continuing the family tradition of spear-hunting was a similar level of "scandal" in that it was also likely gossiped about but ultimately wasn't that big of a deal.

both of Khaizo’s male cousins were troublesome in one way or another. Munokhoi was something of a perpetual slacker in a family of intensely competitive hunters, and i can see him having gotten entangled in something silly, like somehow romancing the tribe khagan's daughter despite being very unlike their traditional idea of a model young man. Ganzorig was the opposite; hypercompetitive and always looking to prove himself by any means possible, he frequently accrued injuries or got on his tribemates' nerves by butting heads with them over just about everything, and when Khaizo was young he sometimes let himself get goaded into participating. for the most part Khaizo was well-behaved, so if he got in some sort of trouble, it was usually by association with one of these two.

the last thing i'll mention is that Khaizo's mother was initially quite unhappy about his choice of wife, thinking him uncharacteristically rash and short-sighted and childish for even considering leaving his home and family for a woman he "couldn't have known as well as he did half of his own tribemates" -- and a woman who Khasar was convinced could not be much more than a pretty thing to look at, at that. Khaizo, who otherwise deeply respected his mother, fought bitterly with her on this front; not from a place of disrespect, but a place of hurt, as he took her assumption that he would make such a decision so flippantly to be an attack on his own character, to say little of his very Measured and Seriously-Considered decision at the wizened age of 17.

up until the point he actually left the tribe, Khaizo threw himself whole-heartedly into garnering his mother's blessing. (it helped that Khasar herself chose to marry someone more unconventional outside of the tribe, who then left his own family to be with her; Chuluun, who was more sympathetic and swayed by the sincerity of Khaizo's devotion to the woman he wished to be with, had many private conversations with Khasar in which he helped to whittle her down by reminding her of this.) caught in the midst of entreaties by both her husband and her son, it still wasn't until Tama herself came to the Khatayin encampment and threw herself at Khasar's feet (to Khaizo's own appalled surprise), promising to do whatever it took to win her approval, that Khasar finally softened.

that was probably the biggest "scandal" applicable to Khaizo's family -- Khasar's only son deciding to leave the tribe to be with an ex-Doman Raen woman was a story to be told -- but it certainly wasn't spoken again after news came by the Khatayin that Khaizo was seized from the Malaguld for conscription, only for his wife and child both to vanish from the tribe shortly thereafter. Khasar never did look at her tribemates' children the same after that, becoming bitter and unapproachable on the subject in her hurt.

that ended up way longer than i meant for it to be. whoops.

14) What is something that never fails to make them excited?

boy i sure would like to know

probably younger kids, though he would be hard-pressed to admit it (and he makes an effort to hide it). he feels very strongly for them, intense "i want to protect it and see it grow up happy and healthy" vibes. this applies to young animals, too, most of the time, and sometimes even more grown ones. if they interact with him positively at all, it really melts his heart, and if you know what to look for you can tell (expression softening, crinkling in the corners of his eyes). he can be surprisingly energetic with them.

21) Do they prefer giving or receiving gifts?

giving. giving his loved ones things that they cherish or make them light up is rewarding to him, and one of the reasons he feels so fulfilled by having learned how to make things with his hands. providing practical gifts (a nice set of boots for keeping warm, a weapon for hunting food, etc.) is a way to make him feel as though his loved ones are safe and cared for, which is the ultimate reward, tbh. 

receiving things is nice, too, although part of Khaizo starts to feel uncomfortable any time he accrues too many things that could be seen as "memorabilia" of a person. he's seen several people that he dearly loves rendered into a token or two (or in Chiyo's case, a whole childhood of bits and bobbles that make up all he has left of her) of remembrance, and the thought of one day having to look at those gifts he received from someone and hurt over their loss in a similar way detracts from the moment sometimes.

23) What do they want most in life?

in truth, he just wants to live a fairly content, peaceful life surrounded by family that he helps protect and provide for -- he's very traditionally minded in that regard. he 100% would have lived a pretty standard and unremarkable life out in his tribe in Othard if he hadn't been picked up and forcibly conscripted into the Garlean Empire to fight in a war halfway across the world. like really, his entire life has just been him trying his Absolute Hardest to live a normal goddang life meanwhile the universe drags him off into some conflict or another; the only exception being that half a decade where he was so pissed that it (and particularly the Ishgardians) wouldn't stop ruining his life that he, like, murdered some people over it.

24) What do they think they’re good at, but aren’t?

being stoic and unattached and making completely objective / logical decisions not at all informed by a crippling fear of loss and failure.

don't tell him that, though.

(he’s actually always been kinda bad about this, as evidenced by his decision to leave his tribe to be with Tama. he tried to be reasonable and logical about it, as much as a love-struck 17 year old can be, but most anyone else could see that emotion played no small part. all of which is to say, he’s often very blind to how strongly his emotions influence his logic -- sometimes even, in the most egregious cases, as someone is actively rubbing his nose in it.)

35) What color would they paint their nails?

if you wouldn't paint your nails black are you even goth

also, it was brought up that he would let any little kids who wanted to paint his nails paint them whatever color they liked, which is completely true and valid.

40) Blanket fort or tree house?

tree house. those trees in the Dravanian Forelands look like they could make some pretty sick tree houses. great, now i want that to be a thing. (can that be a thing?)

#ask meme #ffxiv khaizo erebos

[flusteredmountainman]

Why do you think Muriel doesn't like Julien? I'm thinking it's just incompatible personalities (since Julian is loud and dramatic and Muriel is,, not) , but it might also be due to the fact that Julian had an initially somewhat friendly (?) relationship with L*cio, presumably at the time that L*cio took control over Vesuvia. Do you have any theories? I love your analysis(plural) of the game

OH TKJNAKJEFNF THANKS!! 

I think it’s a combo of a lot of different things including just that Muriel probably finds his personality grating. I think the MAJOR reason he doesn’t like Julian is literally just because of his complicated relationship with Asra.

Muriel is an incredibly lonely (I typo’d as lovely the first time and that is Also true lol) person, and Asra is the only person in his life who’s stuck around long-term and hasn’t hurt him. He sees pretty much anyone who gets close to Asra as a threat to his relationship with him and tends not to like them (e.g. he universally just does Not like MC at all in any of the routes when he meets them). 

I think also it has to do with some complicated feelings about Asra’s curse and him hating to see Asra suffer. I think he (similar to Asra) has complicated feelings about Julian because he blames Julian for MC’s death (and consequently, Asra giving up half his heart to bring them back). Obviously Asra’s been unhappy and lovelorn for several years before the start of the plot in the game, and seeing Asra that way would make Muriel unhappy. He likewise doesn’t like MC for being the cause of this pain for Asra - not that they have any control over that.

He also has a valid reason for feeling unhappy by Asra’s fixation on MC too though, I love Asra so much but literally in the scenes after the arena fight in Asra’s route when Muriel ran away and Asra was like “anyway is MC ok?” I was just like. DUDE. Go comfort your best friend smh!!! He just relived his greatest trauma for you! Asra’s relationship with MC comes at a detriment to his one with Muriel at times, and even in Asra’s upright ending when Muriel is a Little bit better off he’s still lonely. 

I think he’s aware on some level that his dislike of MC is irrational, which is why he usually helps them despite his mistrust of them, but he doesn’t seem to be able to get over that with Julian. 

This could also be because Muriel has feelings for Asra (as we see in Nadia’s route). I think this is also evidenced by how little we see Muriel in Julian’s route. We see him a lot in both Nadia and Asra’s route, but literally only in the Hermit and in the reversed ending briefly for Julian. Asra and Muriel don’t end up together in this route. I think this is because Julian’s route is the second worst for Asra according to the devs for heartbreak (they described like on a scale of 0-100 for each character that Muriel would be -1000, Nadia/Portia would be 0, Lucio would be 1000 and Julian would be 50 in an ask arcana lol), so Muriel would have spent a lot of time comforting Asra if they did interact in this route, and then Asra still ends up close with Julian in this new found family scenario but Muriel is the odd man out. Whether or not it’s a romantic jealousy thing or just him worried about being abandoned, he clearly sees Julian as a reason Asra might leave him (e.g. in HH when Asra and Muriel are both at Mazelinka’s house, Muriel asks Asra why he’s still talking to Julian when Asra doesn’t mention his name).

Also, beyond Julian’s personality, I think there’s a huge cultural difference between Nevivon, Vesuvia and Prakra.

Muriel likes Nadia, but she also directly acknowledges what happened in the arena was wrong. She’s from a very different place with better systems of law and order who was horrified by the treatment Muriel received, and validates him that it was horrible and shouldn’t have happened to him

Vesuvians seem to be fairly mixed in attitudes to the arena; some loved it and some hated it

BUT we see both Portia AND Julian being extremely excited about the prospect of the arena and the red market. Julian gets a kick out of the idea of playing gladiator (as we see in HH on his Colosseum interaction), and Portia also when she meets Muriel at the Colosseum LITERALLY says to him that she bets he was awesome on the sands and she wishes she could have seen it. Needless to say he’s upset, and this is pretty insensitive, but she genuinely doesn’t think that killing people is something to be ashamed of in that context

Also, Julian is pretty insensitive about Muriel’s privacy and trauma when they meet in his route; he calls him Scourge repeatedly. Even in the HH interaction where Muriel and Julian are both in Muriel’s hut, Asra says “Muriel won’t like you being here”, and Julian literally says “What is he going to do, crush me?”

Like Julian. Listen. I love you to pieces and it’s clear you think he’s hot (kjaefnknaf i can’t stop thinking about “You’re a.... big boy.... (blushing)”) but PLEASE curb your horny for 5 minutes and try to be a little more sensitive and not just “oh giant man please crush me” also please Julian you’re both bottoms this would not work

I think generally there’s a lot of stuff there that means Muriel would feel alienated and objectified by the way Julian behaves, but also just in the way Asra’s relationship with him is complicated.  Maybe it also has something to do with him helping Lucio, I mean he doesn’t know about the plague beetle thing so maybe that’ll be a uniting factor for them? That’s a good point that I hadn’t thought of!I’m interested to see how they resolve that tension in Muriel’s route, but I really have No idea how they’re gonna go about it

That was way kajefnkae longer than I thought it’d be this is what happens when you hyperfixate folks lmfao I do have screencaps of a lot of the HH stuff if yall need proof kjaefnfae lmk and I can dig them out

#the arcana spoilers #muriel #muriel the arcana #julian devorak #the arcana #asra alnazar #asra #julian #nadia #nadia satrinava #portia #portia devorak #the arcana game #meta #jaye writes #n/sfwish #anon #asks

[tinyshe]

The Fauci Files

At 79 years  old, Dr. Anthony Fauci — who has served as the director of the National  Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) since 1984 — has yet to  come out with the “Big One” — a vaccine or infectious disease treatment that  will allow him to retire with a victory under his belt.

He failed to  create a successful vaccine for AIDS, SARS, MERS and Ebola. A COVID-19 vaccine  is essentially his last chance to go out in a blaze of glory. As evidenced by  his history, he will stop at nothing to protect Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine and  Gilead’s antiviral Remdesivir.

He even threw  tried and true pandemic protocols out the window when COVID-19 hit, turning  into an unquestioning spokesman for draconian liberty-stripping measures  instead. To echo a question asked by Dr. Sal Martingano in his article,1 “Dr. Fauci: ‘Expert’ or Co-Conspirator,” why are we not questioning this  so-called expert?

Fauci ‘Has Been Wrong About Everything’

The risk we  take when listening to Fauci is that, so far, he’s been wrong about most  things. In a July 14, 2020, “Opposing View” editorial in USA Today, White House  adviser Peter Navarro, director of the Office of Trade  and Manufacturing Policy, stated that  Fauci “has been wrong about everything that I have interacted with him on.”2 According to  Navarro, Fauci’s errors in judgment include:3

• Opposing  the ban on incoming flights from China in late January 2020.

• Telling  the American people the novel virus outbreak was nothing to worry about well  into February.

• Flip-flopping  on the use of masks — first mocking people for wearing them, and then insisting  they should. In fact, mid-July, he suddenly urged governments to “be as  forceful as possible” on mask rules.4

• Claiming  there was only anecdotal evidence supporting the use of hydroxychloroquine,  when the scientific grounds for it go as far back as 2005, when the study,5 “Chloroquine Is a Potent Inhibitor of SARS Coronavirus Infection and Spread,”  was published in the Virology Journal.

Fauci should have been well aware of this publication. According to that study,6 “Chloroquine has strong antiviral  effects on SARS-CoV infection of primate cells. These  inhibitory effects are observed when the cells are treated with the drug either  before or after exposure to the virus, suggesting both prophylactic and  therapeutic advantage,” the study authors  said. In other words, the drug worked both for prevention and treatment.

As noted by Navarro, more recent research found hydroxychloroquine reduced the  mortality rate among COVID-19 patients by 50% when used early.

Interestingly, in a March 24, 2020, interview7 with  Chris Stigall, Fauci did say that — were he to speak strictly as a doctor  treating patients — he would certainly  prescribe chloroquine to COVID-19 patients, particularly if there were no  other options.

Then, in August, he  flipped back to insisting hydroxychloroquine doesn’t work,8 even though by that time, there were several studies demonstrating its effectiveness  against COVID-19 specifically.

So, it appears Fauci has had a hard time making up his mind on this issue as  well, on the one hand dismissing the drug as either untested or ineffective  against COVID-19, and on the other admitting it would be wise to use, seeing  how the options are so limited.

Navarro continues:9

“Now Fauci says a falling mortality rate doesn’t matter when it is the single  most important statistic to help guide the pace of our economic reopening. The  lower the mortality rate, the faster and more we can open. So when you ask me whether I listen to Dr. Fauci’s advice,  my answer is: only with skepticism and caution.”

Fauci Has Done  Nothing to Help Unite the Country

While Fauci claims to be exasperated by how political the  pandemic has become,10 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. pointed out in an August 2, 2020, Instagram post11 that Fauci himself is, at least in part, part of the problem, as his double  standards on hydroxychloroquine have done much to polarize and divide the  nation:

“Fauci insists he will not  approve HCQ for COVID until its efficacy is proven in ‘randomized, double blind  placebo studies.’ To date, Dr. Fauci has never advocated such studies for any  of the 72 vaccine doses added to the mandatory childhood schedule since he took   over NIAID in 1984. Nor is he requiring them for the COVID vaccines currently  racing for approval.

Why should chloroquine be  the only remedy required to cross this high hurdle? HCQ is less in need of  randomized placebo studies than any of these vaccines since its safety is well  established after 60 years of use and decades on WHO’s listed of ‘essential  medicines.’

Fauci’s peculiar hostility  towards HCQ is consistent with his half century bias favoring vaccines and  patent medicines. Dr. Fauci’s double standards create confusion, mistrust and  polarization.”

In a June 10, 2020, article,12 Global  Research also questioned Fauci’s many attempts to disparage the drug for no  apparently valid reason; even promoting the fake (and ultimately retracted) Lancet  study that claimed to show hydroxychloroquine was dangerous.  At the end of the day, who benefits? Well, certainly it benefits the drug and  vaccine industries, which seems to be where Fauci’s loyalties lie.  

Fauci’s Bias Is Hard to Miss

While Fauci is  not named on the patents of either Moderna’s vaccine or Remdesivir, the NIH  does have a 50% stake in Moderna’s vaccine,13 and the recognition that would come with a successful vaccine launch would  certainly include Fauci.

He also has  lots to lose — if nothing else, his pride — if Remdesivir doesn’t become a  blockbuster, as his NIAID is sponsoring the clinical trials.14 The NIAID also supported the original research into Remdesivir, when it was  aimed at treating Ebola.15

His bias here  is clear for anyone to see. April 29, 2020, he stated16 Remdesivir "has a clear-cut and  significant positive effect in diminishing the time to recovery." How good  is that? Patients on the drug recovered in 11 days, on average, compared to 15  days among those receiving a placebo. Overall, the improvement rate for the  drug was 31%.

Meanwhile, research17 now shows hydroxychloroquine reduced mortality by 50% when given early, and  many doctors anecdotally claim survival rates close to 100%. This still isn’t  good enough for Fauci, who continues insisting hydroxychloroquine is a bust.18

His stance on these two drugs certainly  doesn’t make sense based on the data alone. But it does make sense if he wants  (or has been instructed) to protect the profits of Remdesivir.

As director of NIAID, which has  been part of Remdesivir’s development from the start, why wouldn’t he want to  see it become a moneymaker for the agency he dedicated his career to? It also  makes sense when you consider his primary job is to raise funds for biodefense research,  primarily vaccines but also diagnostics and drug therapies.19,20

Fauci Doubts Safety of Russian Vaccine

Early in August  2020, Russia announced they would begin vaccinating citizens with its own  COVID-19 vaccine, despite not finishing large-scale human trials.21 The announcement drew skepticism from American infectious disease specialists,  including Fauci, who said he has “serious doubts” that Russia’s COVID-19  vaccine is actually safe and effective.22

Fauci  conveniently ignores the many failed attempts to create other coronavirus  vaccines over the past two decades, including vaccines against SARS and MERS.

He’s probably  right on that point. It’s hard to imagine you can prove safety and  effectiveness in a mere two months of trials. But the fast-tracked vaccine efforts of the U.S. and EU are hardly bound to  be significantly better, considering the many shortcuts that are being taken.

Fauci Ignores Two Decades of Failed Coronavirus Vaccines

Despite being in a position to know better, Fauci  conveniently ignores the many failed attempts to create other coronavirus  vaccines over the past two decades, including vaccines against SARS and MERS. A   paper23 by Eriko Padron-Regalado, “Vaccines for SARS-CoV-2: Lessons From Other Coronavirus Strains” reviews some of these past experiences. As noted in the  Conservative Review:24

“Since  their emergence in 2003 and 2012 respectively, no safe and efficacious human  vaccines for either SARS-Cov1 or MERS have been developed.

Moreover,  experimental non-human (animal model) evaluations of four SARS-Cov1 candidate  vaccine types, revealed that despite conferring some protection against  infection with SARS-Cov1, each also caused serious lung injury,  caused by an overreaction of the immune system, upon viral challenge.25

Identical  ‘hypersensitive-type’ lung injury occurred26 when mice were administered a  candidate MERS-Cov vaccine, then challenged with infectious virus, negating the  ostensible benefit achieved by their development of promising … ‘antibodies’ …  which might have provided immunity to MERS-Cov.

These  disappointing experimental observations must serve as a cautionary tale for  SARS-Cov2 vaccination programs to control epidemic COVID-19 disease.”

NIAID Safety Controversies and Ethics Violations

When recently asked  for a rebuttal to criticism of his leadership during the pandemic, Fauci replied,  “I think you can trust me,” citing his long record of service in government  medicine. However, that long service record is fraught with ethics and safety  lapses.

For example, in  2005, NPR reported27 the NIH tested novel AIDS drugs on hundreds of HIV-positive children in state  foster care during the late 1980s and90s without assigning patient advocates to  monitor the children’s health, as is required by law in most states.

Fauci was appointed director of the NIAID in 1984. The  AIDS research was part of his research portfolio, and the AIDS research  division reported directly to him, so these violations occurred on his watch.28 In  2008, two NIH biomedical  ethicists published a paper on the controversial practice of using wards of the  state as guinea pigs, noting:29

"Enrolling wards of the  state in research raises two major concerns: the possibility that an unfair  share of the burdens of research might fall on wards, and the need to ensure  interests of individual wards are accounted for ... Having special protections  only for some categories is misguided. Furthermore, some of the existing   protections ought to be strengthened."

Under Fauci, the NIAID became the largest funder of  HIV/AIDS in the world.30 Despite  that, numerous articles over the years have discussed how AIDS activists have  been less than satisfied with Fauci and the NIAID.31,32,33 A  1986 article stated:34

“If  Fauci were less intent on amassing power within the federal health bureaucracy  … he would have left AIDS treatment research with the NCI, where it began,  relying on that institute's proven expertise in organizing large, multisite  clinical trials for cancer therapies."

A July 23, 2020, article in Just the News lists several  other safety and ethics problems that Fauci has been involved in through the  years, including conflict of interest violations in vaccine research.35

Just the News also interviewed NIAID chief of ethics and  regulatory compliance Dr. Jonathan Fishbein, whom the NIAID was  forced to reinstate in 2005 after it was determined that Fishbein had been   wrongly fired in retaliation for raising concerns about lack of safety in some  of the agency’s research:36

“Fishbein said … Fauci failed to take responsibility for the   managers and researchers working below him when signs of trouble emerged,  allowing problems to persist until others intervened. ‘Fauci is all about  Fauci,’ Fishbein said. ‘He loves being the headline. It’s his ego.’”

Fauci’s Connections  to Wuhan Lab

By now, you  probably also know that the NIAID funded gain-of-function research on  coronaviruses at the Wuhan Institute of Virology. As reported by Newsweek:37

“In 2019, with the backing of NIAID, the National  Institutes of Health committed $3.7 million over six years for research that  included some gain-of-function work. The program followed another $3.7 million, 5-year project for collecting and studying bat coronaviruses, which ended in  2019, bringing the total to $7.4 million.”

This money was  not given directly, but rather funneled to the Wuhan lab via the EcoHealth  Alliance. According to a recent report by The Wall Street Journal,38 the NIH is now insisting EcoHealth Alliance submit all information and materials from the Wuhan lab before it’s allowed to resume funding.

Fauci is a  longtime proponent of dangerous gain-of-function research. In 2003, he wrote an  article39 published in the journal Nature on how “the world needs new and creative ways  to counter bioterrorism.”

“We will  pursue innovative approaches for modulating innate immunity to induce and  enhance protection against many biological pathogens, as well as simple and  rapid molecularly based diagnostics to detect, characterize and quantify  infectious threats,” Fauci wrote.

“These are lofty goals  that may take many years to accomplish — but we must aspire to them. Third, we  must enormously strengthen our interactions with the private sector, including  biotechnology companies and large pharmaceutical corporations.

Many biodefence-related  products that we are pursuing do not provide sufficient incentives for industry  — the potential profit margin for companies is tenuous, and there is no  guarantee that products would be used.

Therefore, we will seek non-traditional  collaborations with industry, for example guaranteeing that products will be  purchased if companies sign up … so that we can quickly make available  effective vaccines and treatments …”

With that, there can be little question about which team  Fauci is on. He’s on the side of drug and vaccine makers, and has been for   decades. There’s no money to be made by either the agency or its private  collaborators from natural products such as vitamin D, vitamin C, quercetin or  its drug equivalent, hydroxychloroquine. All of these are dirt-cheap and off  patent.

Prediction Track Record = Null

Fauci’s  predictions for COVID-19 mortality have also turned out to be as inaccurate as  all of his previous predictions. In 1987, he predicted heterosexual infection  of HIV/AIDS would rise to 10% by 1991. It never rose above 4%.

He predicted  the bird flu would result in 2 million to 7 million deaths. In the end, the  avian H5N1 flu killed 440 worldwide. He sought billions of dollars to combat  the threat of Zika, a virus that fizzled without making much of an impact anywhere.40

When you look  at his track record, you realize he’s predicted “nightmare” scenarios for  decades, none of which have materialized.   Last but not least, Dr. Fauci serves on Bill Gates leadership council.

[artistjojo1228]

Rock and Roll Storytime #12: Crossroad Blues: The Myth of Robert Johnson’s Life

Since Blues is the direct precursor to Rock and Roll, I feel it appropriate to share this story here. 

This is one of only two photographs of Robert Johnson (no relation to Tommy Johnson). He was a blues musician who lived in the Mississippi Delta back in a time when the Jim Crow laws still ruled the American South. Back then, an African-American man could be lynched just for looking at a white woman. 

All I can say is that, I’m grateful that, for the most part, we live in more enlightened times now. (Make no mistake though, we’ve still got a long ways to go)

Robert recorded only twenty-nine songs in his lifetime, and yet he inspired an entire generation of budding rock stars, including Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones (most notably Brian Jones and Keith Richards), and Fleetwood Mac, just to name a few. However, we know very little about Robert Johnson, except for the fact that he was a blues musician who died at the age of 27 on August 16, 1938. We don’t even know where he’s buried, as is evidenced by the fact that no less than three headstones mark different possible locations where he was likely buried.What little we’ve managed to find out about his life has been through no small amount of effort.  

Because of that, his life is largely surrounded in mystery, and as a consequence of that, there are a lot of stories surrounding his life. 

For example, some stories offer a supernatural explanation for Robert’s talents...

That story goes a little something like this: 

Once upon a time, in about 1930, Robert Johnson was just a nineteen-year-old with more than a vested interest in learning to play the guitar. Problem was, like anyone who’s ever taught themselves to play an instrument or has taken lessons, it’s never easy learning to play an instrument, especially so when you’re teaching yourself. 

It gets especially problematic when the only place you can get your hands on the instrument in question is in a place where there are plenty of people who have to suffer through every single off-key note you’re teaching yourself. 

See, back then, blues musicians would perform in what were called “juke joints”, which sources tell me is an informal establishment featuring music, drinking, gambling, and dancing. They were primarily run by African-Americans, who were barred from most other establishments thanks to those stupid Jim Crow laws. Whenever the performers were taking a break, Robert would pick up the guitars, and attempt to teach himself. As can be evidenced by the fact that he was a learning musician, nobody wanted to hear the first off-key notes of someone just starting to teach himself guitar (I’m teaching myself to play piano, and trust me, there’s a reason I will only practice if no one else is in the immediate vicinity). 

So anyway, eventually, he left home for a while, possibly after another incident involving people generally getting annoyed with him playing the guitar terribly. About six to twelve months later though, he returned, and this time, when he picked up the guitar, he was, by now, very talented. 

For those of you who haven’t listened to a Robert Johnson recording, he could play the melody, rhythm, and bass lines all at once, stamp his foot to the beat, and beyond that, he did that all while singing. Keep in mind, I’ve been in choir and learned the whole breath control thing, and that’s still insane to me. 

For many though, there was simply no explanation for his sudden talents. Some say he learned the guitar under the tutelage of Ike Zimmerman (or Zinnerman depending on who’s telling the story. But most others say that Robert sold his soul in exchange for mad guitar skills. 

Okay, let’s face it, there’s always going to be claims that one musician or another sold his/her soul for talent (*cough* Jimmy Page *cough*), but Robert was one of the ones who seem to have popularized this notion. 

Allegedly, he went down to the crossroads at about midnight, and was approached by “a big black man” (I can’t make that up). The other man took Robert’s guitar and tuned for him, strumming out a little song for him. The devil then handed the guitar back to Robert, allegedly saying something along the lines of “Once I give you this guitar, your soul is mine.” Of course, Robert took the guitar, and went down in music history. 

Adding onto the mythology a bit, I must also tell the story of his death. See, his death certificate says that he died of congenital syphilis, but, let’s face it, back then, I think it’s safe to say that oftentimes, no one cared when an African-American man died, and it was years later when some people researching his life determined that syphilis was the likely killer. We may never know for sure what killed Robert Johnson in either case. What people instead prefer to tell is the one I will relate to you now...

One night, Robert was playing at another juke joint, and at one point, he decided to start flirting with the wife of the guy running the place (not a good idea no matter what decade you live in). Her husband then got it in his head to slip something in Robert’s drink. Some say it was strychnine, but some toxicologists have spoken against this theory,  saying that if Robert had ingested strychnine, he would’ve been dead within hours, not three days. At least one book I read on the matter stated that the bartender had actually slipped mothballs into Robert’s drink, and it wasn’t meant to kill him, but he caught pneumonia as a result of a weakened immune system and he never recovered. In either case, no matter what substance it was, something was slipped into Robert’s drink. One of Robert’s friends, Sonny Boy, knocked the bottle out of Robert’s hand, and admonished him: “Man, don't never drink from an open bottle. You don't know what could be in it.” However, Robert is said to have replied,  "Man, don't ever knock a bottle out of my hand."

Of course, according to legend, Robert ordered a second bottle of whiskey, and three days later, he died a slow, painful death. According to legend, some of those who saw Robert on the day he died said that he was crawling on all fours, barking like a dog. As I said, if this is true, then it would suggest that Robert died painfully, but to others, this suggested that it was the Devil, come to collect Robert’s dues. 

As I stated earlier, Robert Leroy Johnson died on August 16, 1936, and was buried in an unmarked grave near where he died. Although he died young, and is considered by some to be one of the earliest members of the 27 Club, the 29 songs he left behind have continued to inspire musicians for generations after. 

Sources/Further Readings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feIaNfFONWo https://keepingthebluesalive.org/mystery-robert-johnsons-death/ https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/devils-music-myth-robert-johnson/ 27: Robert Johnson by Chris Salewicz Remastered: Devil at the Crossroads https://jbonamassa.com/musicians-who-sold-their-soul-to-the-devil/ https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Music/RobertJohnson https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juke_joint https://www.npr.org/2011/05/07/136063911/robert-johnson-at-100-still-dispelling-myths https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Johnson https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/01/20/crossroads-robert-johnson/ https://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/26919 https://liveforlivemusic.com/features/robert-johnson-doc-review-devil-crossroads/ https://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/devil-and-robert-johnson.htm

#robert johnson #27 club #blues #rock and roll