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jellieland · 1 year

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A week or two after the games, Grian will usually check in with the victor.

It's a habit that's probably more for his own benefit than anyone else's. But it is, he thinks, a good habit nonetheless.

After all, as fun as it all is, things can get a bit... intense, towards the end, and it's good for his peace of mind to make sure the last one standing is ok with how things shook out.

Nothing much has ever really come of it before; they're all pretty resilient. He doubts this time’ll be different. Except- well.

Something about it all itches at the back of his mind, and he hasn’t been able to work out why. There was the actual ending, of course, but also Grian may have been whispering in Martyn's ear about how boring that final showdown was turning out to be, and how narratively satisfying it would be if he just betrayed the other two and got it over with, so.

If nothing else, it feels like he's got no reason to break with tradition.

There's just one more concern.

Martyn seems to have made it almost impossible to contact him.

It's not... unheard of, for players to keep to themselves most of the time, especially when it comes to those they don’t share a server with. It seems a little uncharacteristic of Martyn, but the last time Grian saw him outside the games was before they even started, so maybe he does things differently these days.

There are certainly a great many reasons why that could be the case, most of which are perfectly sensible.

But Grian's never been able to resist picking at a puzzle put in front of him, whether the puzzle likes it or not, so he is going to talk to Martyn. And he can just see what happens, and worry about any consequences if and when they appear.

Luckily, he already has a way to do just that.

He doesn't usually need to do this - although it is very funny to startle Scar or Mumbo with it sometimes when they're concentrating. Honestly it's usually less effective than communicators, with how much effort it takes.

But he does have a way. The same way he used to whisper in Martyn's ear very recently, in fact.

He reaches out, away from his home, away from his body, and it feels a little like simultaneously overextending himself, and putting his foot down on a step he thought was flat ground.

That is... not how this usually feels.

It's odd. Rather unnerving.

But it works.

He finds Martyn. Watches the vague shape of him solidify into something more real.

He’s still wearing his red life outfit, for some reason. His eyes are closed. Around his head, the coral curls like a blood-red crown.

“What do you think you're playing at?” Asks Grian.

Martyn blinks his eyes open slowly, looking less confused than Grian would expect for someone hearing a disembodied voice out of nowhere. “Oh good.” He says dryly. “You again.”

He squawks indignantly. “Hey, what's that supposed to mean?”

There is silence for a few seconds.

“...Hey.” Martyn says, and as flippant as he suddenly sounds, he looks as thrown off balance as Grian feels. “Not sure who this is, but I think you might have the wrong number!”

“I think that's unlikely.” He deadpans. “Where are you? I haven't been able to get hold of you.”

“Uh-” There's a short pause as he looks around at wherever he is right now. “Falling into endless nothingness, looks like. Same old, same old, am I right?”

Grian rolls his eyes. “Yeah, ok. Well, I suppose you don't have to tell me.” A part of him makes a note of Martyn’s wording, though. Just in case.

“...Hm. Well, not gonna lie, I do appreciate the change of pace, but I would love to know what exactly you want from me. You know, just on the off chance that you feel like giving me any clues.”

It's at this point that Grian remembers: one of the main reasons this method of communication is good for messing with people is that it makes him sound, um. A little different. And while he can see Martyn, it’s not as if Martyn can see him.

...Best to just pretend that hadn't slipped his mind.

“You do realize this is Grian, right?” He asks, as though it ought to be obvious.

“Riiight, yeah, sure.” Says Martyn. “And I'm also Grian, did you know that?”

“Oh for- what, do you want me to tell you some secret only the two of us would know, or something?”

“Nah.” Says Martyn. “That wouldn't work.”

“Elaborate.” Says Grian, through gritted teeth.

“You know what? I don't think I will!” Replies Martyn brightly.

Grian takes a deep breath in through his nose. “I'm beginning to wonder why I bother.” He grinds out.

Martyn snorts. “Tell me about it.”

There's a short silence.

“But- ok.” He continues. “Just suppose for the sake of argument that you are Grian.”

“...Yes?” Asks Grian warily.

“I have a question for you.”

“...Yeeees?” Asks Grian, even more warily.

The silence stretches for several long moments.

“What's up?” Asks Martyn.

“Yeah ok, this isn’t worth it, I'm leaving now.”

“Wait! No, I'm serious!” Under the amusement, there's a note of something that sounds almost like nervousness in his voice. It's uncharacteristic. Unnerving.

“What are you talking about?” Asks Grian, trying very hard to keep his voice at least mostly free of annoyance.

“Oh, you know! What's going on, what's the deal, what'd you want to talk to me for?” There's a slight hesitation. “You need help or something?”

“I- ok. That's actually sort of relevant. It's really nothing too complicated, Martyn.” He says, grumpily. “All I wanted to do was make sure you're good with what happened at the end of the last game.”

Martyn blinks, and goes very still.

There is a long silence - long enough that Grian starts to feel concerned.

And then Martyn laughs.

It's not a nice laugh.

“Good, huh. You want to know if I’m good with it. That sure is an interesting choice of words.”

“...How so?” He asks, guardedly.

“Grian. Grian, I’m not sure if you remember this, but I won. I won this one, Grian.” Every word he says, however restrained, sounds like it’s had to claw its way out of him. He glares at nothing. “And guess what? It's just like the others. I don’t really care enough for any of it to matter to me, anymore, and that's fine by me.”

Now that's... a lot to unpack. “You- I'm sorry?”

“Well that makes one of us then, doesn't it?” His voice is coated with scorn.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you actually think I’m going to explain myself to you?” He asks, looking half-amused. “You, of all people?”

“Well unfortunately, Martyn, I can’t exactly put Ren on the line, so I’m afraid I’m all you’re going to get.” He snaps, and instantly regrets it when he sees the look in Martyn’s eyes.

There is a short silence.

Grian shifts uncomfortably. He’s not going to apologize, obviously. But. Well. “That... ok, maybe that was a bit much.” He says.

“...Little bit, yeah.”

There is another silence.

After a while, Martyn speaks.

“I would’ve betrayed him too, you know.” He says coolly.

“What, Ren?”

“Yeah. At the drop of a hat. Soon as it was convenient.”

“I mean sure, I suppose?” Says Grian, caught off guard. “You didn’t, though. Did you? When you had the chance.”

“Eh.” He shrugs, as though that’s an irrelevant detail. “It would’ve been more dramatic later. You know how it is.”

...There's no real way he can justify saying no to that, is there? “Yeah.” He says. “I guess I do.”

He tries to picture the King, betrayed. The Hand, triumphant.

“I dunno, though.” He says, thoughtful. “I don’t think you ever could’ve done it, to be honest. Not in the first one. Whatever it was you were planning, it was just never how that story was going to go.”

“That’s not true.” He says it just slightly too fast. “I know that’s not true.”

Grian scoffs. “You know thinking about something isn’t the same as doing it, right?”

“What, no, really?” He rolls his eyes. “You don’t say!”

“What I’m saying,” He lets his voice turn biting, “Is that you’re being stupid.”

Martyn lets out a startled laugh. It’s surprisingly genuine. “Wow. You’re really bad at this, dude.”

Grian bristles. “Well why am I the one who has to do it then? Why don’t you talk to someone else, if you hate talking to me so much?”

“I mean…” He makes an unconvinced noise. “Obvious problems aside, when do you even expect me to do that? We usually have other things to worry about.”

“I don’t know, maybe at literally any point between the games?” He sighs exasperatedly. “There’s no way you’re that busy.”

“Between the games?” Martyn asks incredulously, and Grian suddenly feels as though something dangerous is hovering over their heads, just about to drop. “What do you mean, between the games?”

“I mean between the games! Like- now! What do you think this is, right now, if it’s not between the games?” He snaps.

“This right now?” He looks nonplussed. “I think we’re usually asleep for most of this bit. Or possibly we forget about it. As you can probably imagine, it’s hard to know for sure.”

“Now I know that’s not true.” He says firmly, ignoring the unease trying to creep up on him. “I know I do stuff between games, and I know I don’t just forget about it. That makes no sense.”

“I mean, I don't necessarily mean everything between the games, more just this specifically.” He gestures around at nothing. “That gets more complicated, though. But you- hm.” He looks curious. “That’s interesting. Where even are you, then, at the moment?”

“I’m at home! Which is where I thought everyone else was too!”

Martyn seems to consider this for a few moments, and then he frowns, and then his expression goes blank. “…Oh.” He says. “Yeah. No, that… makes sense, actually. Yeah. You’re probably right.”

“Wha- what do you mean? Right about what?”

“Everyone probably went home. Or, at least, they thought they did. And hey, what’s the difference, when you get right down to it?”

“...Ok, I’m going to ignore the second part for now, I already got past that little existential crisis after Ren and Doc’s whole… thing… in season eight- if you think everyone went home, why are you- what was it you said- ‘falling into endless nothingness’?”

There’s another pause.

“...You’re really gonna make me say it, huh? That seems cruel, even for you.”

“Wait, no, what do you-”

“Where else do you think I would go?” It sounds less like an admission and more like an accusation. “What ‘home’ do you think I have left, Grian?”

“Look.” Snaps Grian, feeling vaguely tricked. “It’s not my fault that you-”

“Yeah, it never is, is it?” He glares into the darkness. “It’s always a tragic inevitability with you, never a choice you’re making. That way you get to stab people in the back and pretend to be sad about it. Best of both worlds, huh?”

Grian splutters for a few seconds. “Why are you being so rude to me??”

“Because you’re you and I’m me.” He smirks. “Don’t know what you expected, honestly.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s hiding behind inevitability now?” Grian retorts, perhaps a trifle vindictively.

“I never said I wasn’t a hypocrite, sometimes. Also, I never said I felt bad about it.” He replies levelly, and all at once, they’re talking about something else.

“You didn’t need to say it.” Snaps Grian. “You might be good at lying but you’re not perfect. I could see in your face that it hurt.”

He narrows his eyes. “It felt good, actually.”

“Wow, good for you.” He says, almost amused suddenly. “You didn’t say I was wrong, though.”

His expression twists into something unreadable. “I know you, Grian. Like recognizes like.” He says, voice low and dangerous. “You’re a liar.”

Grian shrugs, despite the fact that Martyn will not see it. “And you’re a coward. Your point?”

“I don’t need to justify myself to someone who refuses to admit that he could have chosen to be better, if he’d ever wanted to.” He spits out.

“Hey, at least I don’t try and convince myself I’m a monster just because I want to survive.”

That one strikes something tender; he can tell. “Right, yeah, and you’re just a blameless angel and everyone you cut down had it coming, I’m sure.”

“I didn’t say that. But since you bring it up… how many people did you give up your time for, again?” He grins. “Is it less than one? Because I think it is. I think I’ve got you beat there, Martyn.”

“And where did it get you?” He snarls.

“Home, in the end.”

Martyn flinches back as though he’s been struck.

“Did you forget about that part?” Asks Grian.

There’s a long pause.

Martyn fidgets with the end of the banner he wears around his waist, pulling at where the white threads are coming undone. He stares out into the darkness. “Yeah.” He says. “I guess I did.”

The satisfaction of winning the argument feels less potent, suddenly.

“You’re right.” Says Grian, after a while. “I’m really bad at this.”

Martyn laughs quietly. “To be fair, I’m not exactly helping.”

“You’re really not.”

He sighs. “You know pulling the knife out just makes the wound start bleeding again, don’t you? That’s all we’re doing here. That’s all we’re going to do to each other. We’re too alike to do anything else, unless we just don’t do anything. And hey, we’re not great at that either.”

“Hmm.” Says Grian begrudgingly. “I’d say something about inevitability again, but I honestly don’t think you’re wrong.”

“We both just enjoy pushing buttons too much to be particularly good at not pushing them, I guess.” Martyn sounds half-amused, half-resigned.

Grian makes an irritated noise. “Yes, alright, I don’t need another reminder of the whole button debacle.”

There is more silence.

After a while, Grian speaks again. “There’s something I was wondering about, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Martyn raises an eyebrow.

“What’s the reason?” He asks.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific with that one, mate.”

“‘This is a death match for a reason.’” He says matter-of-factly. “That’s what you said. So- what is it? What’s the reason?”

Martyn blinks, then lets out a short, harsh laugh. “You think I know that?”

“No, not really. That’s why I wondered what you meant when you said it.”

“It- look. I don’t know if you’re expecting philosophy from me, or something. It’s a death game. People die, and it doesn’t have to mean anything. It doesn’t have to be special, it doesn’t have to be honourable, it doesn’t have to be fair. That’s what I meant.” He frowns. “You know that.”

“I do.” He admits.

“Then why ask?” Martyn looks around as though this time, somehow, he might be able to find Grian’s face in the dark.

He doesn’t.

“I just-” Grian sighs. “What do you want?” He asks. “What do you actually want, Martyn?”

The question sits heavy in the darkness between them.

“What do you want me to say?” Martyn asks. He sounds more tired than Grian’s ever heard him.

“I want you to tell the truth.” Grian says. He needs to know. He needs to know.

“Now, Grian.” Says Martyn, voice gently chiding. “Have you met me? You know I can’t do that.”

“Pretend it’s a lie, then.”

Martyn’s grip on the banner he wears tightens, slightly. There is a long, long silence.

“Or how about,” Says Grian, eventually, “You say something, and I won’t know whether it’s a lie or not.”

There is another pause.

Martyn frowns at the red of the fabric in his hands, as though it might offer him something.

As far as Grian can tell, it does not.

He’s just beginning to give up hope of ever getting an answer when Martyn speaks, so softly he almost doesn’t hear it.

“I want it to be warm again.” He says.

It’s quiet.

For a moment – just a moment, no more – Grian remembers bloody, aching fists. He remembers burning heat.

“Well.” He says. “That makes one of us, then. Doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Says Martyn, voice low. “I guess it does.”

There’s another short second of silence before Martyn speaks again, sounding cheerful. “So, suppose I’ll see you in the next one, huh? If that ever happens.” He grins. “Wanna take bets on how hard Scott’ll have to try not to win it? I’m gonna go with very.”

Grian snorts. “I’m not taking that bet. That man is infuriatingly good at surviving.”

“You’re not wrong! You are not wrong.” He gestures into the void. “And don’t even get me started on Timmy’s whole thing, I think we both know how that one’s gonna go. Unless you want to bet against him being gone first next time round?”

“You’re not Scar.” Says Grian. “There’s no way you talk anyone into taking that bet in a million years. Except maybe Timmy.”

“Fair, fair.”

There’s a short pause.

Grian hesitates for a moment before he speaks – almost, but not quite, reluctant. “Why do you keep looking back?” He asks. “There’s nothing left for us there. You know that, right?”

“I mean, let me know when you find a better place to look.” He tilts his head to the side slightly, curious, and frowns. “Do you really never want to go back?”

“No.” Says Grian. “Never.”

Martyn opens his mouth, and then, uncharacteristically, closes it again. “Yeah.” He says. “Me neither.”

Grian is tempted, momentarily, to tell Martyn to take the banner off and let it go. Let the darkness take it. Prove it.

But just like Martyn, he lets it drop.

Mutually assured destruction is a potent thing.

Now all he has to do is the hard part. The part he’s dreading most of all.

The main concern is phrasing it correctly. Making it sound just how he wants it to sound.

After some thought, he thinks he’s found the words he's looking for.

He could always be wrong, though. He’s usually more one for incredible violence than smooth talking.

“Martyn?” He asks cautiously, casually. “Do you want me to help you?”

The expression that crosses Martyn’s face is unreadable.

He processes the question for a few moments, before he answers.

“Nah. I’m good.” He says, voice guarded. “Don’t worry about it.”

And that’s the rub, isn’t it.

Because now Grian has to decide whether he’s going to let Martyn lie to him or not.

Whether he’s going to pass the test that’s been set before him, or not.

...

Grian’s not a monster.

He’s just realistic.

There's nothing he could do, anyway.

“Well.” He says levelly. “Just let me know if that changes.”

(Martyn would do the same to him. It’s not a justification, or an excuse. But he knows it to be true.)

Martyn stares out into the darkness. His eyes are almost, but not quite, resentful. “Sure thing, man. Why wouldn’t I.”

It’s not said like a question, so Grian doesn’t answer it. “Well, you know I can’t stay here forever.”

“I do know that.”

“Any messages you want me to pass on to any of the hermits? I know you haven’t seen Mumbo in a while.” It’s not really a compromise, or a peace offering. Hopefully, however, it’s close enough to one or the other of those to act in their stead.

Martyn closes his eyes. Breathes in. Breathes out. Opens his eyes again. “If you were Grian, then maybe.” His gaze is cold. “But I think this hypothetical has gone on long enough.”

...It’s a lot easier for both of them, if Martyn believes that.

He’s positive Martyn knows that.

Just this once, perhaps he can manage to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

“For what it’s worth,” He says, looking away, “I moved on from the Bad Boys when it got too expensive to keep them alive.”

“It’s not worth a lot.” Says Martyn flatly. “And it would be worth even less coming from Grian.”

Grian sighs. “Alright. Fine. I’ll see you around, Martyn.”

“I know.” Says Martyn. He closes his eyes.

After a few moments, Grian does too.

When he opens them, he’s home.

…

Oh, that doesn’t feel good.

It really doesn't.

He could dwell on this. It wouldn’t be hard. He could drown himself in guilt over what he’s done, or not done, or will not do.

But- well.

Grian never really saw the point in letting someone else drag you down with them.

#once he's sure that the thing he's decided to pretend was not grian is gone #martyn goes back to falling #and wishes he still felt enough grief to be able to cry.#limited life smp #life series #grian #martyn inthelittlewood #my writing #i finally managed to finish this. it took me. a while.#they're narrative foils to the point of absurdity is the thing #they're incredibly similar and also completely different #it's fascinating

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doobea · 8 months

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WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS - RIN ITOSHI

synopsis: You realize that under his seven layers of unresolved teenage angst, Rin Itoshi is extremely sensitive, whether he wants to admit it or not.

contents: sfw, fluff, convos about growing up, gn!reader, proplayer!rin, play fighting!!, rin is kinda awk but its cute, first kiss and a lil bit suggestive but not really?, a birthday fic :) word count: 1.5K a/n: did i rush home to try and make a birthday fic for one of my favorite boys?? yea maybe. and goodbye i know his bday isn't today and im a day early but i wanna just drop this as an early celebration just so i can post sae on his actual birthday bc im secretly evil

Being Rin's one and only best friend comes with a lot of growing pains. Whether it be constantly receiving threats from his "super fans", always having to show up to his games just to drive him back home because he insists that he's too tired to walk back, or having to hear him vent about how absolutely shitty his older brother is.

And, much to no one's surprise, that dynamic hasn't changed even after becoming one of the nation's highest-praised athletes. And yes, he still insists you to drive him because he claims that his own private drivers "suck ass".

But there are some positive outlooks of being his one and only best friend. No, it's not the fact that you get free tickets to his games or the fact that you essentially eat for free whenever you're out with him. It's nothing materialistic of that sort. One of your favorite things is that he always picks up your packages, even when you order just a bit too much.

"You're going to break your bank account if you keep this up."

"It's your birthday. How can I not celebrate?"

There's a click from his tongue. "You know I hate celebrations."

You sit up from the sofa, flashing him the tiniest of smirks. "It's just gonna be between us. I'm not planning on inviting anyone over."

Rin rolls his eyes before setting down the mountain of delivery packages onto his apartment floor. It looks to be about eight... no twelve? You honestly lost track of how many items you ordered but not like that matters now. The packages vary in size and you can tell by the scowl forming on his face that he's confused by what you have in store this year.

"They're decorations, you dumb dumb." You finally answer after watching him struggle to think.

This only deepens his scowl. "It's my birthday and you want me to decorate?"

"Oh, so now you wanna play that card? Thought you didn't care about your birthday." The kick you receive to your legs is a clear indicator that you've successfully annoyed Rin Itoshi. Which really doesn't take that much effort, but it's still fun to tease him nonetheless. "Are you gonna help me now?"

Rin opens one of the smaller boxes, pulls out a roll of blue streamers, and puffs out his cheeks slightly in frustration. "Where do I put this?"

You blink. "Have you never decorated before?"

You watch his ears turn red and he quickly responds, "I have, idiot."

"You just—" Rin struggles with the streamers and you suppress a laugh when he accidentally tears a ribbon in half. "Actually, never mind, just leave it to me."

He takes a few defensive steps back when you stand up, clutching the streamer close and dear to his chest, shooting you one of his piercing glares. "Stop, I know what I'm doing."

"For someone who's so careful about his actions in football, you sure are clumsy when it comes to anything outside of that." The scrunch on his nose only solidifies your point.

You don't quite understand how someone like Rin can have such a meticulous lifestyle but then mess up when attempting to parallel park or even fry an egg. You're mostly teasing though. Mostly. It's not like any of his "clumsy" actions bother you.

"I made a birthday card for my mom once." He says as if that's enough proof to prove that he actually does know how to decorate. "It's on her fridge."

"Yeah? The one with the shitty drawing of you and Sae hugg—"

"You can stop now."

The blue streamer rolls to the ground as you lunge forward and smack it out of his hands. Rin is annoyed, very annoyed, and attempts to playfully aim at your shin again. You let him but this time around you push him back, aiming for his chest.

Rin is taller and stronger than you are but, during times like this, he holds back just enough for you to take the upper hand. Only for a brief moment that is.

You give up as soon as he pins you beneath him on the floor. "Ok," You manage out. "You win, you win."

Rin loosens his grip on your wrists and rolls over next to you. "That's what I thought."

After what feels like an eternity laying in silence on the floor, you speak up, letting your tongue run. "You know that I’m secretly jealous of you, right?"

His body shifts slightly from your peripheral but you keep your eyes glued to the ceiling. "Jealous how?"

"I don’t know how you do it but you always end up looking like some hotshot supermodel even with all that sweat. Too bad people don’t know that you’re actually so emo that it hurts." Despite saying it in a teasing tone, your lips curve into a small sincere smile. You didn't need to see his face to know that he was also smiling.

Another kick. "Shut up, you sound so dramatic right now."

You kick back but with less force. Too tired out from the struggle earlier. "Says the guy who wants to beat up his brother over football."

Silence hangs in the air again. And suddenly you become hyperaware of his proximity, the scent from the cologne he's wearing, and how melancholic he looks from your angle.

"Are you ever scared of growing up?" Rin's sudden question makes you sit up. "I think about that more often than I like."

You tense for a moment at his words and quickly collect your thoughts, shaking your head. "There's nothing scary about growing up. Think about all the cool things you got to experience. You accomplished a lot compared to when you were sixteen."

He hums. "That's true."

"And think about all the cooler things you haven't experienced yet. Like scuba diving and shit."

"What if I can't swim?"

"Then you take swimming lessons, dummy."

"Also true." He pauses and finally sits up with you. "You'll still be around, right?" Rin stares with his usual tight line on his lips but his eyes seem to be searching for something in yours. He looks very serious and also mildly stressed out.

You realize that under his seven layers of unresolved teenage angst, Rin Itoshi is extremely sensitive, whether he wants to admit it or not.

"Hey," You offer a hand on his shoulder and he flinches at the contact. "As long as you're around, I'm gonna be around too." You say softly.

He holds your hand in place and squeezes it. "Even when we're both old and wrinkly?"

You squeeze his shoulder in response. "Definitely gonna stick around to see that."

There’s silence again for a minute, as he thinks it over. It’s not quite as awkward of a silence, but it’s still not entirely right. You're mentally preparing for another round of existential questions from your best friend. After a moment, Rin's leaning forward, instinctively pressing closer, and there’s something happening between you two. Some weird shift taking place.

Skinship of any form isn't something that Rin is comfortable exploring with just anyone. The most that he's gotten physical with is maybe a hug but even that lasts for just a fleeting second. You find yourself reciprocating and leaning close, relishing the fact that he doesn't do this often. And soon, you feel the sudden urge to kiss your best friend.

"Hey—Rin, do you..." You stumble over your words, but the way that you say his name catches his attention.

"Yes." He cuts you off before you get a chance to finish.

Rin leans in and you meet him halfway. Your noses bump awkwardly against each other due to the height difference and it causes you to laugh. Rin looks like he wants to be embarrassed and annoyed but he ends up laughing too. You two try again, shuffling yourself closer and placing your hands on his thighs to steady yourself, and this time it's better.

There's a bit of mint aftertaste left in his mouth from the gum he was chewing earlier and you didn't know if you should feel self-cautious of your own breath because you're pretty sure it tastes like the cereal you had this morning. You quickly decide it's out of your worries when you feel his hands around your waist, pulling you closer into his lap and deepening the kiss further.

Rin calls out your name when he pulls back and you're positive that you could pass out right now if you're given the option. "Stop looking at me like that." He frowns, red sweeping his own cheeks.

You swallow hard and tilt your head. "Like what?"

"Like you're nervous to be around me. I don't want that."

You feel yourself growing small under his touch. "Then what do you want, Rin?"

He furrows his brows together and you feel his fingers toy with the fabric of your shirt. Rin does this for a while before answering, "I just want you to stay by my side for as long as you can. Is that possible?" He whispers.

"If it's impossible then I'll make it possible for you, Rin." You close the distance and rest your chin on his shoulder. "I'll give you all my seasons if you want them."

You don't hear anything from Rin but soon his grip tightens around your waist and you swear you can hear him sniffling. You pretend to not notice. God knows what he'll do if you catch him crying. Instead, you close your eyes and rub his back gently in circles.

"Happy birthday, Rin."

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #doobea writing #blue lock headcanons #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #happy birthday u dumbfuck #how long r we gonna wait till you show up again #bye idk what the title should be #i just know his bday is this month #and i know this song...#and that hes major virgo vibes

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lolishdes · 10 months

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❝Serendipity❞ || Diluc x Reader

✧A/N: Guys I wanted to write about older Reader and older Diluc, can you even blame me? Also, think of this as a palate cleanser after my previous work hehe

Sorry this took a while, the week has been busy and I had to put so much thought for this fic, wanted this to be great for you guys!

✧Warning/s: Smut

✧Synopsis: One night stands were supposed to only last for one night, that's why they're called that! But how is it you find yourself in a tricky situation as you find out that your one night stand happens to be your business partner too!

✧Word Count: 5.4k words

Minors kindly don't interact!

Oh how you wish the ground would just swallow you whole at this very moment.

There are things you expected for this day to go, that your time in Mondstadt would be a fruitful one or perhaps it would be an utter disappointment. However none of those expectations included seeing the man who just had a one night stand right in front of you and is about to make a business partnership with you!

“It's a pleasure to see you, Miss Y/N."

–––––––––

For most of your life as an adult you've spent your time focusing on your business. It was something you were determined to succeed in. Especially being born in the desert, there was only so much opportunity for you out there. So you worked hard for it all, but such passions have their own sacrifices and setbacks. You have secured yourself financially and you do uphold good relationships with friends and family. However such good relationships are unsuccessful when it comes to your dating life.

Back then you were dead set in solidifying your business, long hours in the office and sleepless nights. And this not only affected you but also the person you were dating, they said that there seems to be no place for them in your life. So time and time again, lover after lover, they all eventually left.

After some time you realized that romantic relationships are simply not for you. You suppose it's for the best, this way no one gets hurt but yourself as you sink into that lonely feeling.

Now that you're in your 40s there have been less people trying to approach you with romantic intent. Maybe it's because society has labeled you as some sort of ‘old hag’, someone who has already reached their ‘expiration date’ or something offensive like that. But that doesn't bother you that much, as you mature you realize that it's best to just enjoy the moment, to have fun one night stands with attractive strangers– so that for at least one night you'll feel the arms of another.

Currently you are celebrating in Lambad’s Tavern with a few friends as you have just recently successfully launched a new branch in Inazuma City. Quite proud that your spice business has been growing especially fast– and soon it would reach Mondstadt’s lands since you also bagged yourself a potential business partner!

“A toast to our amazing friend, Y/N!” The clinking of glass and loud ‘Cheers’ Can be heard all around the table. You felt shy by their enthusiasm, it was so sweet that they're doing this for you. Kaveh takes a sip of his wine before speaking to you. “Honestly Y/n you're on a roll right now.” You laugh at that. “What's that supposed to mean?” “Oh come on! It's not easy to pull off a place there in Inazuma. They are way too strict with their transactions! And here you are settling one of your branches in Inazuma City no less.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “You're making it sound like it was easy for me, I can assure you it wasn't. It was kind of a nightmare actually.” you sigh just thinking back at the months you've spent there in Inazuma, getting papers approved and other transactions necessary before you were given the go sign to start building the branch.

Dehya took a swing of her drink and had a teasing smile on her face. “As if it wasn't obvious already, I will never forget that day you returned to Sumeru with the most god awful eye bags and ran into a pole on your way haha!” Deyha laughed out loud and you could only groan at the memory.

As if the fatigue from work wasn't enough already, the ride home was so rocky with the most atrocious weather to boot that it had your head spinning. Dehya was the first one to meet you once you docked at Port Ormos, she waved a hand at you when she saw your board down the ship. As you waved back at her you excitedly ran to her, you seemed to miss the light pole right in front of you. Dehya will never let you forget that day.

“Yeah yeah whatever! Gods are you annoying.” Dehya lets out another laugh. After Nilou took a bite of her Samosa she looked at you with slight concern. “But about your health, I hope you did get the proper sleep you needed once you got home” You gave her a reassuring smile. “Of course I did, and anyways It wasn't a total nightmare there in Inazuma. After getting the go sign we went straight to building. There weren't any big problems along the way. Maybe because of a certain architect and his genius consultations and design.” You wink towards Kaveh’s direction. He left out a ‘pfft’ in disbelief by the compliment.

“Uh excuse me, the conversation was not about me, why don't we go back to running into poles or whatever.” Kaveh waved his hand in a dismissive way while taking a sip of his wine. A series of laughs follows and you just sit their mouth open and a hand to your chest, as if wounded by his diversion back to the embarrassing memory.

By the corner of the tavern a certain gentleman had his eyes on you, his eyes glued to your direction even as the blue haired man in front of him kept yapping about how exquisite the wine was. “ It seems that you've mellowed down, Diluc.” Kaeya teases his brother as Diluc shifts his gaze away from you. “And what is that supposed to mean exactly?”

Kaeya grins towards his brother. “Oh nothing, it's just that you've never openly expressed such interest towards other ladies before. Look at you now, enchanted by her like a moth to a flame~” Kaeya turns behind him and stares at you. You continue to laugh with your friends, never noticing the two gentlemen.

“Why don't you speak to the lovely lady when you have the chance, yeah? After all, we will be off to Mondstadt by tomorrow evening.”

–––––––––

By the end of the night you all had your fill of wine and food. As per usual Kaveh drank way past his limit, he even started mumbling gibberish while he walked as if he had two left feet. Nilou and Dehya insisted on being in charge of taking Kaveh back home, saying something in the lines of it was their duty at this point to drag him back to Al Haitham. As you waved goodbye to your friends, with Kaveh in the middle and his hands on both Dehya and Nilou’s shoulders, he lifted his head up and said his goodbye to you, his words slurred.

You giggled at the sight and watched as they slowly walked away farther from you and the tavern. Once they were completely gone you sighed in contentment and turned behind you where the scenery of the forest was. It was already late at night so the streets weren't full of people anymore, but that's good since all you want right now is to bask in the ambiance. Shops were already closing up, boats docked as they sway lighty to the wind, and the stars seem to shine brighter than usual.

Back when you were younger you would have never imagined seeing such a beautiful sight, thinking that only the familiar sight of sand would greet you everyday of your life. By the distance you see a couple walking together by the dock, they seem helpless in love, as if too busy in their own worlds to bother with anything else. A twinge of envy rises within you, but you try your best to push it away. After all, who would want that? Haven't you learned your lesson already, that kind of relationship just isn't for you…

“It really is beautiful here, isn't it?”

Tall, dark, and handsome was not what you expected when you turned your head. The man has the most gorgeous pair of eyes, his tied up hair cascading elegantly down his back, a stubble adorned his face, while his posture held confidence. He looked like he was around your age. His eyes never left the scenery even when you looked at him, you simply smiled politely as you gazed back at the scenery. “Yeah it really is, I love Sumeru especially at this hour.” The wind was slowly picking up, making your hair sway with the wind.

The gentleman turns to you with a pleasant smile, he reaches out his gloved hand towards you. “Diluc, and you are?” ‘Diluc’? Huh, familiarity rings at the name. You reached your hand out as well and shook hands with Diluc. “Y/N, a pleasure to know you're at least not impolite.” You jest at him, he chuckles in response. “Well, I do hope I maintain a good impression.” “Oh? And why is that?” “Well…” He trails off his sentence and brings your hand close to his lips, he gives your hand a light kiss. His red eyes shifted towards you. “Let's say I simply want to enchant this one lady that has caught my eye.”

Heat starts to slowly creep into your cheeks while a tingling sensation can be felt all throughout your hand, the hand that Diluc so delicately kissed.

Just then a couple started running past both of you and you immediately removed yourselves from another. You looked away from one another in embarrassment and behind both of you heard the couple passing by. “Come on! The theater is at its high right now, we can't miss it!” “Haha right behind you dear!” as their footsteps and voices faded farther Diluc and you just stood there in silence, a little embarrassed and unsure.

Just then an idea and just a bit of courage emerged within you. “Say, would you mind accompanying me to Zubayr Theater?” You were a bit hesitant to ask him, but for some reason there was just something pushing you to spend a little more time with Diluc. The red head seems to light this idea and his eyes shine a little. He offers his arm to you, to hook your arm with his. “Shall we?” You are more than happy to take the offer as you wrap your arm with his, the familiar warmth coming back to you again.

As you both entered Zubayr Theater, you were greeted with colorful lights and laughter all around. Children and elderly alike were dancing and feasting on delicacies. And by the huge stage was a band that was playing all sorts of instruments while they maintained a lively beat that people can dance to. You begin to have a rush of excitement and unbeknownst to you, Diluc can see your eyes sparkling in elation. He directed his hand to the center where the people were dancing. “Would you care for a dance?” You looked at him. “You know Sumeru dances?” “Well, it's only due to a certain dancer that I learned how to conduct these dances. So, shall we?” Without hesitation you nodded enthusiastically and pulled Diluc to dance.

And he stays true to his word, he dances to the beat of the music and syncs with you perfectly. As he twirls you around you can't help but be a little more charmed by this man, your hands were on one another for many hours as you both laughed heartily. This feeling of excitement and joy towards an individual was one you haven't felt in a while...it felt so foreign, yet not unwelcomed. Usually you'd spend your time like this towards someone you considered as your lover, and yet here you are treating this complete stranger with your guard down.

After some dancing you enjoyed some snacks at nearby stalls, while eating you both converse a little more, telling some stories any of you may have. You found out that Diluc is from Mondstadt and back in his younger days he used to be in the Knights of Favonious as a Cavalry Captain. And you on the other hand told tales of your childhood back in the desert and some trials you have faced. While speaking you didn't notice the way Diluc would look and listen to you attentively, making sure that while you speak he has his full attention on you.

There were even stalls nearby with fun games, Diluc was exceptionally good when it came to darts, he was able to hit the target successfully and gave you the prize which is a cute Aranara plushie.

–––––––––

At some point you found yourselves back at the docks of Sumeru City. Both of you sat on the wooden planks while you removed your shoes, dunking your feet in the water. Only the sounds of buzzing from insects can be heard as you and Diluc bask in the comforting silence and the presence of one another. There were smiles on both of your faces, you were playing with the water beneath you, lightly splashing the water around.

Diluc looked at you tenderly, he thought you looked absolutely beautiful at this moment. The way the wind catches your hair, the lovely smile you wore, and how the moonlight seems to accentuate your features. He is completely captivated by you. It was only you and him at that moment, hearts pounding within in anticipation.

“About what you said a while ago…” You start as Diluc looks at you. “Which part? I believe I said too many things during our time together.” He chuckles. “About being interested in me, I don't think you should waste anymore energy on me.” “And who said anything about this being a waste of energy?” He was quick to reply back but you only looked down at your hands. You smiled bitterly. “I’m sure there are many beautiful young ladies out there worth your while.” “Well I have the perfect candidate right here.” “I’m not young, Diluc.”

“But you are beautiful.”

Words seem to be stuck in your throat after he said that. It was unfair that he was saying all this, making you feel happy and special and for what? The night will only end in one way and after that you'll forget the other even existed. That's how it's always been. But unlike the others they never gave so much of their time to you, to actually get to know more about you…

“And I don't mean beautiful as in your looks only, but also your laugh…” He trails off, his hand inching closer to yours. “...your smile, and most importantly your utmost determination towards a better life despite the odds being against you. I really respect that about you.” He was only an inch away from touching your finger tips when suddenly the wind picked up.

The night was already cold but the wind made it even colder, you start to rub your shoulders to ease the chilly air. Diluc sees this and starts taking his thick coat off. “Ah, there's no need—” “Please, take it.” You were a bit reluctant but nodded anyways, Diluc proceeded to drape his coat around your shoulder. You held the coat closer to your body, not only do you feel warmer now but the strong scent of the gentleman enters your senses. It felt somewhat comforting for some reason, you can smell hints of oak and vanilla.

You looked at Diluc and was about to thank him, however words left your mouth when you saw Diluc was already looking right at you. Your faces were practically inches away from one another, noses almost touching. You could feel your heartbeat start to quicken from the anticipation. Diluc observes your face a little more, checking to see if this was okay for you, if in any way there was a reason that he should be falling back right now and apologize– but no, there wasn't. You seem to want him just as much as he wants you.

Slowly he inches closer to you, the tips of your lips practically feeling the heat already. And as he closes the distance between you two, you finally share a tender kiss. You both close your eyes basking in the warmth of the other's lips. His left hand found itself cupping your cheek, deepening the kiss a little more. Your heart leaps in joy and even though you already had a coat on, you could practically feel the goosebumps all over your body.

As you both pulled away you were left breathless, you rested your head on his shoulder to catch your breath. You both giggle at this, probably from embarrassment, but mostly due to the butterflies forming in your stomachs. Diluc looks at you softly, but a hint of nervousness was present.

“Say, would…would you mind accompanying me a little longer tonight?”

–––––––––

The way to Diluc’s room was a bit of a blur, all you remember was how fast you two were walking while his hand was on yours. While walking your hearts kept pounding, the anticipation was tortuous but eventually you both arrived inside. Usually you weren't this…nervous? When it comes to having sex with someone, usually it's all hot and heavy and clothes are dropped in a snap. But this time you were slow as you walked in and shook your shoes off.

Diluc was just behind you as he closed the door. Inside the room most of the lights were turned off, only the dimmed lights of some laps were providing you with light. But that only adds to the atmosphere. You were about to take the coat off your shoulders but Diluc got his hands on it first. Neither of you spoke, but there was no need for that really considering that the heavy tension did all the talking.

He took the coat off and dropped it on the floor, his hands slowly roam down to your hips, taking in every beautiful curve of your body. While his lips found themselves on your neck, kissing and teasing them oh so gently. It was a little agonizing with the pacing that he had chosen, you were getting hotter by the second. “Diluc what–” “Shh let me take care of you, please?” His voice was low yet tender, you could only nod and let him do what he wanted.

After he is done teasing he leads you to the bedroom, gently dragging you to the soft sheets of the bed. He entered the room first and sat on the bed, his legs spread a little wider while you stood up and looked down at him. He smiles and pats his thighs, asking for you to take a seat. “Come here, darling.” You compiled and sat on him while facing him.

Despite the lack of light, the moonlight creeping through the curtains does well to highlight Diluc’s features. He had a few wrinkles under his eyes, showing his age. Your hands land on Diluc’s face to swipe away some strands of hair away from his face, while you're doing this Diluc just observes you, enjoying the fact that you're taking in every detail of his face.

“Hmm is there something you're trying to find on my face?” He chuckles when you slowly back off from his face. “It's just that… you're really attractive.” You start removing your top, unbuttoning the buttons before dropping it on the floor, leaving you only with your bra. “You think so? I can say the same thing about you, especially…” He grabs a hold of your thighs and puts you down on the bed. “When youre right here in my arms~” Diluc smirks above you and adjusts your legs, keeping them at each side of his hips.

You grind yourself on him, you can feel some hardness down there. Diluc lets out a groan and proceeds to kiss down to your almost bare chest. He unclasps your bra to suckle on your nipples, he teases one of them with his lips while the other is being pinched and rubbed. You pant as a response and grab onto his hair, this made Diluc groan, he seems to enjoy his hair being touched.

He then travels down your body, the tip of his nose slides lower while you can feel his hot breath on your skin. He stops just above your hips, you were about to unzip your shorts, however Diluc stops you before you could sit up.

“I insist.” He says in a deep voice as he bites the zipper between his teeth and zips it down, he then completely removes your shorts off you to reveal your panties. Without a care he discards it on the floor before diving in to press his nose on your puffy pussy lips. He can feel your wetness even through the thin fabric. You can feel his hot breath and the stimulation of his nose, you whine out. “Luc, stop teasing.” He hums at your complaint, the vibrations of his voice stimulating you more. He hooks your panties and removes them to expose your pretty pussy.

It wasn't quite wet yet and Diluc is still left unsatisfied. But that's alright, he simply dived down and started eating you out like a starved man. At first he starts licking you, making sure to tease and prod every part that his tongue can reach, then after that he begins to suck on your clit, earning a whine out of you. His hands grip both your thighs, making sure that they spread wide since you end up unconsciously closing your legs.

Your moans and whines are delicious, your hands are on his hair and fisting him, holding on for dear support from the delirious pleasure. Just seeing the way you feel good makes his cock hard, yet despite the unattended hard on between his legs he does not touch himself just yet. How could he? He's way too busy pleasuring you to even think of himself. He needs to see and hear more of you.

The pleasure only increases from there when you feel a finger enter you. “Oh archons Diluc!” Your back arched a bit from the sudden intrusion. Diluc kept going with both his mouth and fingers teasing your cunny. If that wasn't already enough You could hear Diluc groaning and moaning from below, he seems to be hot and bothered just like you. "That's enough Luc, come here, please…” And who was he to deny you really?

He starts removing his own clothes, when he was left with only his boxers you could see the form of his cock. He starts pumping himself but then you sit up. “Wait, let me.” Diluc looks at you but compiles anyways, he removes his hand from his cock. You start spitting and licking your hand, making sure to put as much saliva as you can and start stroking him, as you do this Diluc’s breath hitches. With your free hand you cup it on his cheek and share a kiss with him, you could hear him softly moaning and groaning.

With you stroking his cock and your luscious lips devouring him he can't help but feel oh so hot and bothered. He even believes that he could cum right here right now if you don't stop any moment from now. He pulls away first and rests his forehead with your, he was panting with his eyes closed. “Okay stop, any more and I just might cum–” He was interrupted when you pushed him down on the bed, with you straddling above him. Your hand travels down his beautiful body, your nails dragging down on his skin.

“Let me return the favor, yeah?”

–––––––––

Usually after such a passionate night you would immediately leave early in the morning, to forget their faces and move on with life…However this time it's different, you can't help but look back at that one special night with Diluc. The sex was amazing of course, but was it wrong to have felt that it was more than just sex? Your head gets all scrambled up just thinking about the situation too much. It's been two weeks since then, you won't see him face any longer thus such an individual is out of your life. All that matters now is to meet and hopefully score a partnership with this wine tycoon from Mondstadt.

“It's a pleasure to see you, Miss Y/N.” The redhead said before you, his eyes were cold and his form was towering over you. Beside you was the Cavalry Captain, the one that told you all about this partnership. “I’m so happy that you could come, Miss Y/N. This is the renowned Diluc Ragnvindr, owner of the Dawn Winery. He has anticipated your arrival!”

You pray to any god out there that hears you to save you from this dreadful situation. You hesitantly reach out your hand towards Diluc, nervousness was evident on your face. “Mr. Ragnvindr a pleasure to meet you as well.” Diluc's eye didn’t leave you even as he shook hands with you. And although you want the ground to just swallow you whole right now, there's a sense of…happiness? Lighting up within you as felt Diluc’s touch.

“Now, since the introductions are finished, my job here is done. I have more work to do back at headquarters, may the wind lead you to a prosperous partnership.” Oh gods no, please Kaeya stay! As the man walks away from you two, you're left alone with the Wine Tycoon. You swallowed the small bit of dread within you and acted accordingly, to pretend as if you've never met before, yeah! You're sure Diluc would do the same.

“Well then Mr. Ragnvindr shall we go straight to business?” “Ah yes of course, Miss Y/N. Kindly follow me.” Relief washes over you, this day should go smoothly. Just then Diluc offers you his arm. “Why don't we walk through these Grape Vines as we discuss, yes?” You looked down at his arm. “I would love that, however I can't possibly–” Suddenly he comes closer to your ear, the invisible barrier you had gone. He whispers “I insist.”

A chill runs down your spine. The memories of him between your legs flashes in your mind and your cheeks burn in embarrassment. You hesitate as you hook your arm with his, slowly you two walk along the beautifully grown grape vines.

The fruits were lucious and some even ready for harvesting already, you look at your surroundings in amazement. For a brief moment you were distracted, Diluc was too as he watched your reaction. “Wow, I've never seen grape vines like these, they never looked so healthy and succulent!” Your hand touches a couple of grapes, inspecting its quality.

“Dawn Winery provides only the best quality for its customers.” Diluc responds right away, he too inspects the grapes around him, proud that he has amazed you, and to at least ease off your nervousness away. The last thing he wants is that look of uncomfortableness on your face and to have your eye practically screaming for help.

“Why?”

Both of you come to an abrupt stop. His eyes were looking at yours, a look of frustration and hurt mixed in his eyes. “Diluc I–” “I was worried about you.” You paused and looked down at your feet. Diluc looks at you and sighs. “I apologize, I just…the day you left, you didn't just leave my side but you also left with my heart.” Your heart beats faster hearing that. “I know we never discussed meeting each other in the near future, but I thought my intention towards you was clear. Not only that but how would I have known if you were alright? Did I hurt you anywhere or if you were okay mentally? ”

Your hand forms a fist as you clenched down hard. “You didn't have to worry all that, what we had was a simple one night stand Diluc.” “Was it really just that?” “Yes, it was. We left that room satisfied and that's all that matters.” “That's bullshit and you know it.” “It's not, and anyways why are we talking about this? None of this matters!”

“Well it does to me!” You avoid his gaze, you can't look at them , you just can't. Because deep down you know that once you look back at his eyes you'll fall right back at this stupid spell he somehow put upon you.

“Look at me please.” When you looked as if you were not budging he steps closer to you, his gloved hand approaches your face as his index finger drags along your cheek tenderly. In a whisper he speaks. “Please look at me, darling.” He sounds so gentle, as if pleading for your attention.

You decide to give in, you can't just not look at him, right? After he asked so nicely too…but at the same time damn him for asking with that soft voice of his. You slowly tilt your head upwards and are met with that gentle smile of his, the same one he gave you before sharing your first kiss under the moonlight.

“There she is.” You were left breathless as he rested his forehead on yours. Both of you closed your eyes , soaking in each other's presence, after weeks of not seeing each other, desperate for touch. “Gods I miss you so much and you don't know it…” Your heart gets a little wounded hearing that, he sounds so hurt…

“I'm so sorry ‘Luc.” Your hands found themselves on both sides of Diluc’s face, your thumbs rubbed on him in comfort. “I didn't mean to hurt you, truly. I was just unsure and…afraid? I can't quite understand myself, but all I know is that I don't want to be hurt anymore ‘Luc. Heh kind of ironic isn't it?” Diluc furrowed his eyebrows at that. “Well I��m not here to hurt you, please give me a chance…give us a chance.” His hands rest comfortably on your waists, but this just gives more proof on how compatible you two are. It just felt so right that he's here.

You sigh before you smile back at Diluc and pounce toward him, you land your lips on his happily. This came as a surprise for Diluc, but it was a surprise most welcome. He sighs from the kiss and wraps his arms on your waists tighter, keeping you as close as he can.

–––––––––

“You know, I knew we would see each other again.” Diluc said as you both walked while holding hands. “Oh?...Wait, don't tell me you knew me from the start?” “What no! Honestly I didn't anticipate sleeping with a potential supplier and business partner haha!” Diluc laughs softly, the last thing he wanted was a sticky situation, and yet here he is. “Okay so how did you know about me?” “After you left that night, I tried finding you around Sumeru City and I had to find you fast since hours later I would need to leave and head back to Mondstadt.”

You looked at him, tilting your head. “And? Did you find me..?” “Sadly no, however I did have your name investigated as soon as I settled down here.” You slapped Diluc’s shoulder playfully. “Ew you investigated me? Creep.” You laugh as he looks at you, as if offended. “Well excuse me that I couldn't find you, my mystery girl just suddenly disappeared without a trace after spending the most wonderful night with me!” “Okay you sap, what happened next?” Diluc simply smiles as he continues.

“I brought it up to Kaeya and that bastard simply grinned, he told me that your business was the perfect candidate he deemed worthy for Dawn Winery. I never anticipated he chose you as Dawn Windery’s supplier, after all there were so many in Sumeru and not only that but Kaeya never revealed to me your name early on, he said to just trust his choices and forced me to drink with him…”

“Huh a sly one that one is…but perhaps we should thank him?” “Perhaps, but first..” Diluc suddenly picks you up and carries you with both his arms. “We have some unfinished business, why don't we head inside Miss Y/N, hm?”

©All content belongs to lolishdes 2023. Please refrain from reposting (reblogs are appreciated !).

#diluc x reader #genshin smut #diluc ragnvindr #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact smut #diluc smut #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc fluff

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nopanamaman · 4 months

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this has probably been asked before but ... what's been the biggest struggle with writing PAFL thus far? how did you handle any blocks/obstacles in your writing process? i've hit a lot of points where i've been unable to fix or connect plot holes, so i'm always interested in how others who are producing their stories handle these problems

That's a good question anon

It's a bit hard to say now, since the story has been solidified a good while ago... But I think the ending was what gave me the most trouble, even when most of the current PAFL story was already laid out.

I've already talked about the first ending being too dismal for my liking. While I know it could've worked and satisfied a good number of people, to me it felt like it justified Yura's initial nihilistic worldview. Also it left a lot of threads hanging in a way I found rather unsatisfying.

What helped me is stealing. I though about what endings made me feel satisfied in the past, what scenes and moments made the journey feel worth it, even if the conclusion wasn't 100% happy.

As a result, I pulled from a lot of different places for inspiration. While I still have some peculiarities to iron out in terms of how I want the final sequence to play out, I'm far happier with what I have now.

So I guess as banal as it is, look to other things. Don't be afraid to copy shit you enjoy - it's about how you mix and match your inspirations. That's how you make the story your own!

When it comes to plotholes, I got two strategies. The classic: gloss over them and patch things up on the fly later on if somebody notices. Sounds bad, but honestly, if the inconsistency isn't absolutely story- and logic-breaking most people won't care.

Actually, most people won't care even if the plothole is severe as long as the story you're telling is engaging and entertaining enough. So don't beat yourself up too hard about it.

That said, if the plothole is genuinely stopping the story from progressing properly or breaks immersion in a major way, it's best to just scrap that whole chunk of the plot and rethink it from the ground up.

I remember reading something like, "If you're writing prose and feel absolutely stuck on a sentence, just go a couple sentences back and rewrite everything from there." You can totally do the same on a more global narrative scale!

#i could write more but gotta stop myself eueu #bros if you dont want to get a ten page essay dont ask me about writing #asks #blog #parties are for losers

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kevcanwait · 25 days

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Felix is looking extra precious and this is what I'm doing with my cuteness aggression. His hair looks so pretty, he looks so pretty and adorable and it's just killing me.

Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 who gave me the idea. @heartbinn

Tags: Nn means nickname, Mn calls Felix Pixie, Mentions of Chan and a dash of Seungmin, The shortest amount of sad/comfort, not hurt/comfort though, angst? Maybe if you squint idk. Clingy, Lovey Felix, Vaguely shown that Mn is taller, My love for Felix kinda got in the way so Felix may give off Tiny Precious Bean vibes. The fluffiest of fluff.

You nervously sat in the corner of the lobby. Even though he said you guys could've met up at a cafe, you were worried about fans seeing him. That's the only idol thing you've worried about, other than that he's still your Felix.

You were nervous because you felt really out of place in the JYPE lobby, not because you were nervous to see Felix. He's made sure to send you photos as he grew up away from you and with all the photos, the boy next door got cuter and cuter. He still had your favorite freckles and adorable face.

The recent photo solidified, as if it wasn't solidified already, how much you've grown to love the boy. You don't know when it happened but eventually you realized when he sent you a photo of the first time he dyed his hair. It was a photo of him laughing at something, he just looked so precious and happy and the moment you thought his freckles were cute, you honestly had a little bit of a crisis but that night when he called you to show his hair, looking so excited and happy, you realized the crisis was for nothing and you really did love Felix more than you thought.

A tap on your shoulder snapped you out of your thoughts and nail biting as you looked up. He wore a black beanie, a few hair strands framing his face, and a black mask you could tell he was smiling under. Your whole body relaxed as you stand up and pull the shorter male into your arms, his arms wrapped around your middle as yours around his shoulders. You were still taller than him, you've always loved how fun sized he was.

"Hi Mn!" "Hi Pixie." He giggles softly, nuzzling further into your chest before pulling back, arms still around you while he bounces and the balls of his feet. "I can't believe you're here!! You're actually here! Sorry, Can you tell I'm happy?" He smiles and you laugh. "Yes, I can. I'm glad to see you again, Felix." "Me too. Come on, I really want you to meet the boys." He grabbed your hand but you didn't budge. "Mn?" "I'm already nervous from being in this building alone, I don't know about meeting your group."

"Mn, I know you and you match all of them so perfectly it's crazy. Plus~ You know Chan-Hyung is also from Australia. He loves you." "How?" His face turns red as he laughs softly. "I-I may or may not tell him everything about you...You're my best friend, I wanted my other friends to know about you too." "That's sweet...Okay, let's go." He squeals happily and you follow behind him. "Oh, forgot to mention, Chan is actually in the car too." "Felix!" "I'm sorry!" He laughs and you can't help but smile at him.

Even though he said he wanted you to meet the others, he dragged you to his room once you got to his dorm. Chan was surprisingly really easy to converse with the whole car ride, might've been his natural friendly aura but his was so nice and the conversation flowed smoothly.

"What- Felix!" Chan yelled after the boy who just pulled you away. "Pixie, I thought you wanted me to meet the others?" You chuckle. "You will. I get my best friend first." He reasoned and you laugh as he pulls you into his room. He hugs you again, so tight as if he'll think you'll disappear from him. "Hey, you okay? Thought you were really excited to introduce me?" "I am. Just need a moment." "Oh okay."

Only a few seconds later, he started shaking and his hold on you got tighter. "Lix?" "I s-still can't believe I'm hugging you...th-that you're here..." He whispers before shifting, you barley see his face as his arms go around your neck and he's tightening his grip, you take the signal and tighten your own arms around his waist to pick him up and let his legs wrap around you. "Lixie?" "I-I wish we could be together forever." You knew he didn't mean it in the way you'd mean it but you smile nonetheless. "C-Can you...I wish y-you could stay h-here, now that y-you're here I don't w-want you to leave." "Aw, Pixie...I'm sorry."

He sniffs, pulling back to look at you. You were gonna put him down but could feel his legs were gonna collapse if you did when you moved your hands to hold him better. "Felix..." He was crying, moving one of his hands to wipe away the tears before he moved his legs and you sat him down. "I'm sorry." "It's okay, come here."

You move to his bed, sitting down and moving your legs enough for him to sit on the floor in front of you. He does as told and sits in front of you. You take off his beanie, putting it to the side before combing your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp. He hums contentedly and leans against your knee, you smile down at him before speaking. "Can I wash your hair like when we were kids?" "Only if I can with you." "Of course. I can also braid your hair after too."

You guys move to the bathroom, Felix holding your hand as you follow and a few of the boys watch after. "Are they friends?" Chan slaps Seungmin's arm with a scolding look on his face. "They are..." "but?" "but when we talked in the car and he was telling a story about Felix...I think Mn sees him as more."

You're sat on the toilet and Felix is laying on your lap, head over the tub and running under the faucet. He's talking about any little thing that comes to his mind as he points at his products. You caught yourself when you had slowed down massaging the product through his blonde strands and just listened to him talk cause the temptation to lean down and kiss his forehead was almost too much.

When it was your turn, you laid across the toilet while Felix kneeled next to you, using his products on you. He told you to tell him what you've been doing but you just stared at him without realizing. You did speak but it was slow and you paused a lot, just watching him. You noticed that there was a dust of blush of his freckles but you took that as just being in a warm room.

You dried eachothers hair and you sat on the edge of the tub and began french braiding his hair, he almost fell asleep before you finished and switch spots with him. The braid was kinda sloppy and he didn't really like it so he took it out and put your hair in his usual updo.

You guys walked out, no one was in the living room anymore and he pulled you to the couch, putting on a movie you thought was random until you heard the familiar sound of the movie you and Felix would watch nonstop as kids.

He sat you on the couch before running off then coming back with a blanket and a couple snacks. "You really had tonight planned." "Well, kind of. The cafe plan I had fell through from other reason but I thought just bringing you here was a better idea."

He sat close to you, crossing his legs as the movie began and you lean back, feeling really happy being with Felix again as you let Felix cover you up with the blanket he brought in.

Half way through the movie, Felix leans on your shoulder and takes your hand into his, playing with your fingers while his attention was still on the movie. You took the opportunity and held his hand in yours and laid down, pulling him with you to lay with you. "I might cry if we get cozy cause you can only stay for one day and we can't stay this way." He says as he leans above you. "Then I'll hold you the whole time, trust me I've been trying not to cry since you first hugged me when we got here."

He smiles, laying on your chest as you wrap your arms around his waist and shoulders, hugging him tightly in return to him snuggling further into you, his hand resting on your heart and you hope he can't feel how fast it's beating.

You subconsciously rub his back, the movie taking your attention back and it's not until the happy ending that you notice Felix is asleep, not hearing his usual comment of how adorable he always thought the end of the movie was. The end credit song plays as your eyes take in his features.

You move your hand from his back and up to his face, moving a loose strand of hair to the side before your finger traces over his freckles, a barely there touch so you don't wake him up as you move again and you get so lost in your thoughts about Felix you don't realize your thumb lightly brushing over his bottom lip. "Shit, I love you so much, Pixie..." Your eyes stung as you pull him closer and rest your forehead on his. "I love you more than I realized. You're so adorable and pretty...I'd confess to you if I didn't have to leave tomorrow..." You press your lips lightly to his forehead.

"You're so cute, Pixie..." You wrap your arms around his tightly again, lips pressed to the top of his head as you hold back your tears before you're pulling back as Felix moves. He sits up, you take notice of his glassy eyes when he opens his eyes and a soft coo escapes your lips. "Lixie..." "Please don't leave..." "I wouldn't have anywhere to stay. Plus, I have a job." "It's a fast food place, Mn-ie...And you can stay here." "I couldn't do that to you and your group. I'd get in the way." He shakes his head defiantly. "You wouldn't. I s-swear, you'd be fine h-here." "Even if I stayed here in your room, What would I do? I don't know Korean or anything." "You can help Chan...He knows about your music skills." "That's...too much, Felix. I can't."

Felix suddenly leans down, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss as a noise of shock leaves you before you kiss back. He pushes forward, the soft kiss turning firm, your left hand moves up to cradle his face as he tilts his head and slides his tongue on your bottom lip but before you could let him, he pulled back and laid back on top of you, crying into your shoulder. "I-I'm s-sorry. I-I heard you...I love you, too, Nn. I-I didn't want to c-confess e-either. Th-That's why I want you to stay...a-at least stay for me? Y-You w-won't be in th-the way, I promise, just...please..."

Your tears finally fall as a soft sob slips past your lips and Felix sits back up, kissing your lips before holding your face in his small hands that shake slightly as he wipes your tears. "I-I can stay, Pixie...I will, okay? You swear I won't be in the way?" "I swear to JYP." You can't help but laugh and lean into his hand. "That's big." "I have you after years of being apart, I don't even think I would let you go if you did leave."

"I would have to go back at some point. I only have a bag with a days worth of clothing." "As long as I go with. I really don't want to leave you." "Good, you have to explain to my parents why I'm moving." He laughs, kissing you again and sliding his tongue past your lips to tangle with yours for a moment and a small whimper slips out of him before he pulls back, resting his forehead on yours. "Sorry..." He giggles shyly and all you do is laugh and wrap your arms around him, kissing his cheek before placing your hands on his thighs and sitting up, keeping him on your lap as you turn the tv off then standing up to take him to his room.

You lay him in his bed before falling on top of him. He laughs when you nuzzle into his neck and kiss his jaw, rolling over to move so he nuzzles into your neck instead, your arms squeezing him tightly as his wrap around your middle and he falls back asleep in your arms a little while later. You smile, kissing his forehead before you fell asleep as well.

The next day, Chan realizes he hadn't seen you all morning. It was noon and he hadn't seen Felix either. When he checked Felix's room, he saw you asleep and Felix laying on your chest, looking up at you with adoration as he gently traced your cheek then your bottom lip before lightly kissing your jaw.

Chan smiles, the thought of you having missed your flight gone from his mind as he pieces together that Felix must've told him he could stay. Knowing you, Chan does hope you two could have fun together cause he's aware of your music talents.

For now, he winks at Felix who finally notices him in the doorway before he leaves. Felix smiles into your chest and you subconsciously pull him even closer.

Felix didn't think it was possible, but he's even happier in this moment, in your arms, than he was when he debuted.

#random #stray kids #straykids #stray kids x male reader #lee felix skz #lee felix x male reader #male reader #k pop x male reader

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sagesskies · 3 months

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just played Binary Star Hero, loved it, amazing, chefs kiss, Hals can take my heart and soul. Love them sooo much.

And an idea just struck me: Awkward Yandere Hero who is also your ex, meanwhile you're the guy who manages his tech.

The guys running the agency wanted him to be presented as the perfect, ideal man, and in this heteronormative world, the ideal man was straight, so they had him start dating another superhero. You got that, you could handle that, but what pissed you off was that he couldn't at least fight for your relationship when the higher-ups wanted him breaking up with you.

so you take the initiative, and don't let him keep beating around the bush, and break things off first. Good riddance honestly, what need do you have of a man who wasn't even willing to fight for you?

You keep working for the same agency, managing their tech, fixing it up after any errors, making sure everything runs in tip, top shape. But you refuse to do anything for him, no. They can get somebody else to do that.

everytime you two speak, it's always tense. him, the 'strong' 'virile' and 'masculine' hero practically cowering before you, the glorified tech support.

"Uh, h-hey [Name]!"

"... Helios."

"How... how are you?"

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Uh. To talk?"

"... Leave."

"I just want to chat-"

"Now."

"Okay. Goodbye. Take care. Love you- I mean, uhhhh, t-take care- Wait shit I already said that- Uh. Uh. Bye!"

Your colleagues tell you to pity him more, he had no choice you know? The agency paid his bills, they gave him a job, they were the reason why he wasn't taken to the government testing labs and made a labrat like all the other non-hero superpowered humans. So he was in no position to say no to their demands.

So were you supposed to pity him? To constantly let him do whatever he wanted? Let him miss all the dates, the dinners, to focus more on work than your relationship? Were you supposed to pity him when he didn't bother to explain himself when pictures were released of him going into a hotel room with some model? To let it slide without a single explanation?

You have too much respect for yourself.

When you try to hit the dating scene again, to be able to fully solidify that you are truly moving on from your ex... but for some reason, said ex always ruins everything?!

every single place you take your dates, it's suddenly infested with your ex's fanclub as hundreds of people all clamor around, disrupting others as they all try to at least look at the famed hero Helios who was reported to have been sighted, just your luck, in your general area!

and not to mention, what happens when he decides to approach you in public, while your on a date, and the other guy just so happens to be a big fan of his and all of a sudden you're just tossed aside as your date gets his fucking forehead signed by your ex.

and still, still, he has the audacity to try to strike up a conversation with you.

"Hey, [Name]!" Helios- No, Hollis, greets you cheerfully.

You don't bother to respond, focusing on fixing the dents in Liquid Steel's metal suit. Slamming the hammer down on the outward dents, grunting when you accidentally move the dent inward and use the dolly to fix it.

Hollis, hesitantly, comes closer to you. Despite the fact that you were holding a hammer, he wasn't afraid. You know that he's sturdy and durable, more than other supers, but he is still flesh and bone. If you caught him off guard...

"So, uh, since the other mechanics are a bit busy... I was wondering, could you-"

"I won't, Helios," You glare at him, "Just wait for one of them to come back or something."

Hollis chuckles awkwardly, "Ah, well, I'll actually be needing it fixed soon," His eyes wander around your workspace, before going back to focus on you, eyes a brilliant gold, "I'm... gonna be sent on a mission."

You recall when he'd miss your anniversary dinner, and told you he had to be called out for an emergency extraction. He was fidgeting the entire time, hand rubbing at his neck where you saw lipstick stains that he was doing a shit job at hiding.

Looking at him now, you can tell he's lying the same way he was back then. But for different reasons now.

"No." You say with finality.

"But-"

You drop your hammer, and grab him by the collar of his shirt. Pulling him closer till your foreheads were pressed against each other. His eyes widen, and he gulps.

"I said no," You snarled, spit flying against his face, "Why can't you fucking get that into your thick skull, hm?"

Your hands grasp tighter onto the fabric of his shirt, nearly tearing it off, "You've been a right fucking creep, yknow?" You give him a cruel, crooked grin, "I know what you're doing- You've been fucking stalking me, haven't you?"

"[Name], I-"

Maybe it's the stress from work, the breakup, the failed dates, Hollis himself, his mere presence being enough to tip you over the edge. Whatever it is, you snap.

"Shut up!" You scream at Hollis, "I hate you- I hate you so, so, so much!"

More than you hated Hollis, you hated the situation. It's more than just sabotaging your love life, and always bothering you with his awkward small talk, you wished he started trying before you ended it. You wished it didn't take you leaving for him to beg for you to come back.

You feel like the gear that you're in charge of fixing. Some heroes take care of theirs like it's their baby, always careful, but never getting enough work done because of it. Some are able to tolerate it getting damaged, and do their duty. But some? Some are willing to let it suffer intense damage, nearly become irreparable, all for the sake of their job.

Hollis is like that, you think. He let your relationship decay, rot, and fester, till it became nothing more than a shell of what it used to be. But you were too tired to fix it. Why bother anyway? You were old news, software that needed to be updated. So like any person with common sense, Hollis got an update.

Your face grows warm, you think it is from the shame for your outburst, before you realize it is also wet, and that you are actually crying. You don't want to, but you slump against his chest, and bury your face into the warmth of his shirt.

You beat weakly at his chests, "I hate you... I hate you Hollis." You sob.

Hollis shifts, you think he's about to pry you off, but then you sense a familiar presence over your back, and then a hesitant, but comforting hand is rubbing soothing circles into your back.

"It's... It's okay [Name]," His voice is shaky, and you think he's crying too, "No matter how much you hate me, I'll always love you."

#yandere male #x reader #yandere oc #yandere male x reader #yandere x reader #yandere x you #male reader #yandere #yandere imagines #this is nothing like what Binary Star Hero is actually like #i just got this idea while playing the game :)#Hollis 'Helios' Giles

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queenie-official · 5 months

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Chapter Six: ‘The Truth’ Bridgerton Au!Anakin

part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

a/n: Brace yourselves guys 😭 that’s all ima say 👀 aside from that though enjoy 🥰

the reality of yesterdays events had crashed down on you quite quickly, when you had returned to the castle the silence of the carriage ride as you both sat parallel to one another, Anakin’s gaze focused on the passing scenery and yours on him. of course you knew it was all for show but you hadn’t expected him to go completely silent on you again, though judging by how far off the look in his eyes was and the slight droop of his lid you could chalk it up to just him being tired. the small tension in the air that hung around you both however definitely made it hard to believe that was the sole reason for his absence.

then of course when you both returned to your individual rooms without a word uttered it solidified the idea something else was bothering him. and now as you sat on opposite ends of the table for breakfast watching as he ate without taking his attention off his plate, as well as the only greeting he’d given you being a small nod when he’d entered the room. you where just about fed up. it felt impossible to even try to speak to him from so far away, almost like a silent reminder that you two where strangers and nothing more. even though by law you where something more.

“this is ridiculous” you huff out, watching as he stops mid chew to look up at you. “what?” he asks looking rather thrown off and not even bothering to finish the food in his mouth before he spoke. “how are we meant to communicate eleven feet apart from each other” honestly why did they even make tables this long? your parents hardly ever threw dinner parties when they where alive and that was the only use you could think of for it. “we’re eating so what does it matter?” he states and then proceeds to take another bite of food a bit dramatically to emphasize his point.

“you don’t find the spacing odd?” you ask finding it obvious as to why being on complete opposite ends of a table, eleven feet apart would be a problem regardless of communication. it was just pointless if there was no one to be sat in between you in all honesty. “odd?” he asks with a raised brow, and you can’t help but furrow yours. “if you don’t get what i mean when i say odd then you do not understand, forget i said anything” you say with a sigh, looking down to your own plate and pushing the food around as you accept defeat. at least you had gotten him to speak to you so it wasn’t a complete fail.

your attention is quickly pulled back to where he’s sat as you hear the sound of his chair scraping against the floor. you silently watch him as he stands up, pushing his chair in and grabbing his plate. for a split moment you thought he was going to leave you entirely to go eat elsewhere, instead he stops at the seat to your right and places his food down. pulling out the chair and sitting down beside you, beginning to eat again as if he hadn’t done anything.

“what happened to it not mattering?” you ask him curiously, confused as to what changed his mind.“clearly it mattered too you” he replied casually. once again a silence filled the room. at least you could see his facial expressions better now that he was sitting right next to you, he looked pretty unbothered in your opinion which for some reason irked you. “is this how it is to be then?” you say mildly annoyed. “sorry?” he looks up at you unsure what you’re talking about. “no speaking just silence” you answer.

“is there something you’d like to talk about? because i for one would like to just enjoy my food” he says growing annoyed as well, you weren’t trying to annoy him so you took a deep breath and backtracked a bit. “i just figured we could actually start to get to know each other, we’re married after all. don’t you want to get to know me?”

“hadn't really thought about it” his response made you pause, mostly because he looked completely serious as he said it. “honestly?” you asked and he looked up at you, a small smirk appearing on his face “it was Sarcasm, im joking princess” he said with a snort the nickname making you flush but you couldn’t help rolling your eyes, unsure why you fell for his trick to begin with considering one of the only things you did know about him was he clearly liked to tease you. “if you want to get to know me so bad ask away, i'll answer honestly but don't expect it to be the answers your hoping for” he adds while leaning back in his chair, giving you his full attention. “what's that supposed to mean?”

“it means i will not hold back to spare your feelings, though i suppose you won’t mind since you yourself said you like someone who speaks there mind right?” he tilts his head slightly as he speaks and your about to say something when he cuts you off “oh and i expect you to answer questions of my own as well.” you nod in a silent agreement, it was a reasonable ask and only fair. “are you going to ask something then?” he leans forward taking a bite of food while he waits for you to speak.

“oh right...” you now had full permission to ask him anything and yet somehow your mind was running blank- truthfully you wanted to learn everything and weren’t entirely sure where to start. quickly scanning your mind for any of the questions you had wanted to ask since you met him one thought stuck out. “throughout this whole ordeal you've been calm and casual, and i get that there's no reason you necessarily shouldn't feel that way but i just don't completely understand it.” you look at him expectantly. “so your question is..?”

“how do you truly feel about all of this?” you watched him tilt his head back, looking up at the ceiling as he thought over his response carefully. “in a way you took away my freedom” you froze at that admission. “what do you mean?”

“im only the second born son, there were no expectations for me. i had the freedom to marry who i wanted as long as they where rich enough. i didn’t have to worry about the responsibilities that come with being a king like my brother” he began explaining and guilt settled in your stomach. “then in the blink of an eye i’m taken from my family and the weight of a kingdom that is not mine is placed onto my shoulders” he finishes and then looks over to you.

“i am sorry-” you begin but he interrupts you with a question of his own. “why did you choose me- why my kingdom?” he asks quickly sounding more like he was demanding to know. “it was not my choice-”

“so then who’s was it, you are the queen” you scrunch up your nose as he cuts you off again, if he just let you finish your sentence you could explain. you take a breath and start twisting the ring he gave you, spinning it around subconsciously as you try to speak again “i am not the queen yet just the crown princess and that title holds no authority.”

“okay so then who was it?” you hear the sound of a whisper from behind you, suddenly remembering there where other people in the room with you two. “maybe we should discuss this elsewhere” you suggest. “why not discuss this here” he says clearly confused.

“because servants talk” you whisper just loud enough for him to hear. he doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t object either.

now you where both in the library, the hallways cleared even of guards to ensure your conversation wouldn’t be overheard. you’d have asked Eleanora to be on the lookout but she was home visiting family for the duration of your honeymoon with Anakin. which would be reasonable except for the fact the honeymoon wasn’t exactly going how it’s intended to go.

“so will you tell me now” he quirks his head as he leans slightly back against one of the tables, arms crossed as he awaits your explanation. “yes but you must promise not to speak of what i say to anyone” you say not really expecting him to but wanting to make it clear no one should know- it would only lead to disaster if word got out especially now that you two where officially married. the people would not only feel lied to but find the whole situation appalling just as you had when you found out in the council room. unfortunately Anakin didn’t seem to care for your caution and the statement seemed angered him, you watch as his expression changed to one of frustration and you where almost sure there was also a bit of grief.

“who would i speak to? i am alone in a kingdom that isn’t mine, i have no one to speak to even if i wanted too” he asks and his voice begins to raise slightly as he speaks. “i’m sorry-” you start, feeling completely guilty now but he puts a stop to that instantly. “do not apologize for something if you do not intend to do anything about it” he states firmly the aggression not being lost on you. feeling your heart sink you take a step forward “Anakin-”

“do you have any idea how isolating it is? to go from being with your family to suddenly being utterly alone- and then married to a woman who acts as if she had no say in that fate!” he shouts and you flinch back. he wasn’t holding back now, it’s what you wanted but you hadn’t realized just how much he was until now. no longer under the eyes of servants or guards he had to be mindful of else wise. however as he explains the feeling you can’t help but sympathize, ironically knowing exactly what he was describing painfully well.

“i do actually” you say solemnly and watch as he pauses for a moment, registering your words. “what?” his voice cracks slightly when he asks. “i know exactly how that feels because i’ve been living that way for a long time.” you continue, not taking another step towards him yet in fear of accidentally crossing a boundary he may of set in his mind. he looks over you carefully when you tell him that, allowing his guard down just slightly. you notice the way his face softened even though it was gone as quick as it came, you take that as a sign to keep speaking.

“i lost my mother, then just last year i lost my father. that’s all of my family gone, a pain i wish upon no one- and yes i can admit i am fortunate enough to have gained a friend or two that helped me through that. who continue to do so at that.” you force yourself to keep eye contact, feeling as if you’ll lose the ability to speak if you look away. “but those friends are not people who could truly understand the position i am in, the pressure to rule a kingdom that doesn’t even feel like my own sometimes.” you could feel a familiar burn build in your throat, but you do not allow yourself to cry. you didn’t feel like you had the right.

“i didn’t even know i was supposed to be a ruler or that my father was one till i was thirteen. and even knowing then i don’t think i could of ever imagined the pressure and true weight of what it meant until now” the anger and frustration on Anakin’s face was gone now, his brows where still furrowed but it looked like he was about ready to cry himself. “so yes Anakin i do understand what you are going through and i am truly sorry that you now have to feel this way- especially within such a short amount of time where as i had years to learn how to adapt to that feeling of pure solitude.”

“if you understand then why” he finally broke, a few tears spilling down his cheeks that he quickly wiped away before clearing his throat trying to force himself to stop. “it was not my decision, it was an act done without my consent- and when i had heard i tried my best to shut it down. but it had already been too late, the letter had been sent” you explained, unknowingly you had moved towards him and where now standing toe to toe and somehow the man who towered over you suddenly seemed so small. without really thinking you cup his cheek, rubbing it gently in a attempt to soothe him. he leaned into it, closing his eyes and placing his own hand overtop. a silence falling over, though this one was a lot more welcomed than before.

there you both stood, allowing yourselves to feel helpless. a new understanding between you, and suddenly not feeling so alone in the world.

part 7

Tag List: @luvvfromme @gatekeepingirlboss

@bimbo-baggins86 @bby-imasociopath @curlycarley @burnthecheshirewitch

This was quite the emotional one but we’re finally seeing more of Anakin’s emotions and thoughts so wooo 🎉🎉 anyways i hope you huns enjoyed and i am going to say i’m not sure if i’m going to be able to get chapter seven out tomorrow because i have work and don’t know when i’ll have the time- but i will definitely try🫶🏼🫶🏼 worst case you guys will just get two fics on Wednesday 🤭 love you all Xx<3

#hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin imagine #star wars anakin #rots anakin #atoc anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker x reader fluff #anakin x you #bridgerton au!anakin #bridgerton au!anakin x reader #bridgerton au #bridgerton #queenie’s thoughts xx<3

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sh0tanzz · 2 months

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hii can u do sohee as bf?

SOHEE AS YOUR BF based on astrology ~

reminder: this is for fun and astrology is smth I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!

Scorpio Sun: The stereotype that scorpios suns are secretive is so played out they're just technically shy imo im sorry LMFAOOO. Once a scorpio fully trusts you or has something they genuinely want to tell you they just keep GOING. And the same probably applies to him especially since his Mercury is in Sag. In the beginning he might seem hard to crack or not one to spare many details but once he's sure of you and you two are officially together and solidified oh he's a plain open book. Ofc he's not gonna pour every aspect of his heart out but being secretive really won't be an issue. He has an aspect of sun and uranus so he won't really act in ways that aren't true to him, his freedom, or expression so he'd practice authenticity even within the relationship so you better be in it for the real him !!

Libra Moon: Similar to Wonbin he'd be pretty considerate and would weigh pros and cons before doing anything to ensure fairness. His chart makes up of placements centered around truth, fairness and morals so ngl being equal+in balance is something he'd want for the relationship. Sometimes there's a tendency for Libra moons to end up complacent or non argumentative to keep the peace but I think it wouldn't be as severe considering his sag placements. Rather than being complacent he'd be pretty passive, he'd be willing to engage in trivial debates and significant convos but wouldn't break his neck to prove his point or show that he's right unless it was absolutely necessary. His moon is sextile his venus so emotional balance is crucial so he'd avoid constant disturbances in the relationship so you two remain in harmony; downside he might become TOO passive and too invested in harmony to where needed conflicts are dismissed or he doesn't express himself fully.

Sagittarius Mercury: So...blunt LMFAOO. Honestly Sohee probably says crazy stuff or is more sassy behind closed doors he has sm mercury aspects even some with pluto and mars. He might be conflicted sometimes, has moments of being super blunt and even saying stuff without thinking and then his libra moon brings him back into peaceful mode and he's like "uuuhm my bad". Probably likes fake arguing or small debates. Makes fun of you most definitely but compared to Eunseok it'd be easy for him to apologize if he realized it was too far or hurt you. Instead of yelling he might talk pretty fast and "word vomit" whenever he's dealing with big emotions or anger (especially with his mercury square mars) and due to this he might go quiet during arguments (if they ever even happen) because he knows when dealing with his outbursts he could say the wrong thing or be hurtful when not meaning to. Likes to be playful and even a bit nonserious and childish in convos and tries to make things lighthearted.

Sagittarius Venus: Sigh omg a bestfriend and boyfriend in one quite LITERALLY. Sag Venus has a hard time settling down because they value their freedom and life path so much and they don't really get into -serious- relationships unless they're genuinely enamored with you and can see you fitting into their expanding life. So once he's with you and realizes he's actually in love with you and it's beyond just flirting and pining he's essentially all in. Freedom will be evident in the relationship and there may not be a super specific power dynamic laid out outside of the cheesy "look at how my gf takes care of me.”. He wouldn't abandon his career for the relationship but wouldn't completely abandon the relationship as a whole either but just know there'd be an attempt to split both. He'd be loving and wouldn't be too restricting, flirts via jokes quite literally he would end up being the funniest man you know especially with that sag mercury on top. He values optimism and change and would implement that into the relationship as well.

Pisces Mars: His Sag Venus paired with his mars could show that he'd be ok with someone being the initiator or taking the lead but would still be ok with wanting your attention and doing things to get it (not in a toxic way ofc) . Like he'd want to impress you with unconventionally/casual romantic things or "best friend dates" that soon lead to more. Aw man he's probably a friends to lovers trope type of man like anton :((. Tbh him having a Sag Venus + Pisces Mars such a chill relationship like I said earlier it'd be just like dating your friend.

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crystallizsch · 2 months

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hello i am once again thinking about grim, and by extension the heartslabyul duo because if there’s anything else that lives in my head rent-free it’s how the main four are as close as friends as they are throughout the entire game so far.

(help this ramble became longer than i intended)

-> i know it's a pattern that the previous dorms help out in the next book which means once book 7 ends, we’re assuming book 8 would be about ramshackle(?). which means it’s diasomnia’s turn to have a big role in the following dorm. -> but it got me thinking. throughout the books, heartslabyul (specifically adeuce) is always present somehow. no matter how much screen time they actually have and how relevant they are to the conflict at that time. (actually i think something similar could be said with diasomnia but i want to focus mainly on adeuce) -> throughout the books, we're just set up with how good of friends the four are. the prologue, books 1 and 2 start to develop the four's chemistry together, and by book 3 we get one of the first signs that yuu cares about these three to the point they're willing to risk it because their dumbasses decided to sign a deal with azul. -> in book 4, while adeuce didn't have much involvement, i believe twst JUST hammers home that all four of them are friends friends. we are shown how ace and deuce went through all the trouble of transportation DURING THE HOLIDAYS because they thought yuu and grim were in trouble. like they could've easily just went "hey it must have been nothing" but they were worried enough to go check on them, not even thinking that someone else could've had handled it already.

-> since the pattern was that the previous dorm helps the next dorm, why does it seem like in book 5 it seems that heartslabyul, or at least, adeuce has as much of a big role as scarabia? the scarabia duo was there to notice the signs with vil but it was deuce who dealt the last blow to him. (honestly i don't remember much but i don't know how much help scarabia even helped pomefiore other than being in vdc hhh) -> so then it made me think, huh. it's like twst is setting up that these two will be more important than we think and will definitely not be going away soon. -> and then THE END OF BOOK 6. ouughh the end of book 6. their reunion just solidified for me how much they all care about each other. adeuce were not prompted by a direct "we're in trouble, help us" text this time. they just found out yuu and grim were somewhere in danger and it agonized them that they could do nothing about it but wait and hope they're safe. -> book 7 finally we're back to finding out ways to help yuu get home. and since they're all admittedly close friends (dare i say found family) at this point without explicitly stating it, i get the vibes of "we'll help you get home because we care about you but we're not going to think about the depressing possibility we might never see each other ever again".

-> so very abrupt transition;;; this led me to thinking about the overall “alice in wonderland” theme throughout twst. -> is that why adeuce has been with us this entire time? to remind us of that theme? we are in twisted wonderland after all. (I'm not really sure about the thought of yuu being alice but it's an interesting one to consider too) -> to tie in more with the alice in wonderland theme, i'm briefly going to go back to diasomnia. in book 7, there's like a theme of dreams. in fact, throughout the game it was all about dreams and visions and stuff. and in book 7 we're just diving into it. -> and in the story of alice in wonderland, there seems to be the implication that everything that happened in wonderland was just based on a crazy dream that alice had. like we don't know if anything was ever real. (i'm not really a fan of the "it's all a dream" twist but the connections got the gears in my brain turning) (also mickey must be relevant too but i have no thoughts about the implications of his existence at the moment 💀) -> i know we're not done with diasomnia's book but it seems to be set up as a catalyst for something bigger along the line (thinking about the possibility that there is even something bigger than a malleus overblot is very wild to say the least)

-> SO ANOTHER abrupt transition but still related, i thought about the parallel between the "overblot grim" in the beginning of the game and the "jabberwock(y)" in alice in wonderland. they're both chimera-like creatures that are like the final bosses or something. -> and what if a way for yuu to "go home" is to "slay" the jabberwocky (or in this case the overblot grim) just like in the story of alice in wonderland / through the looking glass. -> there's theories i believe that ace is set up to be some kind of "trump card" based on his name and the fact his unique magic isn't revealed yet. but also i want to add deuce in there too remembering how he held a big role in stopping vil in book 4 like some kind of foreshadowing. -> maybe the main role diasomnia will have is only about all these dream shenanigans. and i'd like to think instead that at the end of the day, this conflict with an overblotted grim is ultimately between our main four. some representations based off alice in wonderland. -> going full circle, is this why we have been shown so much of the friendship between all four of them? to establish this possible eventual conflict? and to make it harder for us to choose about "going home"? do we even get the choice?

do we "slay" the jabberwocky or will we decide to stay in this seemingly dreamlike fantasy wonderland instead?

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angelwithdemonictendencies · 10 months

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i wanted you until the halloween masks all melted down my face; finally the burns are healing, finally i can see you.

am34 x reader: a very different take on older brother’s best friend.

(warnings: NO SMUT! (crazy how that goes in my warnings). only tension, here. no actual smut. lots of family dynamic speak and emotional healing and childhood trauma and stuff of the like, but i promise it has a happy ending - maybe the happiest ending i’ve ever written. be kind to yourself. only read if you’re 100% sure.)

(a/n: let me preface this by saying this is simply a character who’s face-claim is auston. THIS IS NOT MY TAKE ON AUSTON MATTHEWS, SO DO NOT COME AT ME FOR THAT. honestly, i’ll be mad as hell if i get hate about that, so don’t even think about it. i did not proof-read, either. my favorites - i apologize, this is very different than what i normally write. but, right now, i’m not in a place where i can write good smut (trust me, i tried). this is what i can write right now, so i figured something is better than nothing. there is plenty of great smut on this site to go around, i promise. more so than any other of my stories, this fictional you is the star. she is healing and she is growing and she is so, so beautiful, inside and out. please know that this story is very personal to me. and while i refuse to take any hate personally, please be kind. sometimes we make someone up to be perfect as a distraction, like a survival technique. favorites, you and your snakes deserve to grow and heal and love yourself so brutally and wholly. i don’t know if and/or when i’ll see you next, but know i’m thinking of you often and fondly. go canucks. gif is not mine. love always.

it was the smell you noticed first, as you arrived back. your childhood home, exactly as you had left it, last summer. as if it had simply ceased to exist when you were away. exactly the same, yet foreign. and that smell, something like your mother’s subtle perfume and the cleaning spray your father used in the kitchen.

it made your stomach turn.

it made you young again.

you hugged your family hello, attempting to push any anxiety that nipped at your nerves away. you should be happy to be home, you told yourself. you should be happy, it’s normal to be happy, just be normal, please.

your mother said something about your trip and traffic before returning to her desk, your father mumbled something about barely recognizing you as he continued to prepare dinner, your brother barely looked at you before heading back to the basement.

and then, in a moment, you knew he was here. a kind of sixth sense you had developed in middle school. his voice came from behind you.

“welcome home, angel.”

oh, how his voice, that name, how it made time drip like syrup around you, made you lose your grip on what was here and what was there, what was now and what was then.

for as long as you could remember, auston matthews had been your older brother’s best friend. and for as along as you could remember, the mere thought of auston matthews sent a flurry of butterflies to spawn in your stomach, a fiery chill up your spine, a flush with a vengeance to your cheeks.

when had the butterflies been born? maybe it was when you were seven, him and your brother ten, when you were all playing pond hockey in your backyard. when he had given you his mittens because yours had gotten wet and your brother had refused. maybe it had been that simple, maybe that had been all it took.

maybe that big, perfect, toothy smile, flushed cheeks, on a winter night in your backyard had been it.

or maybe it had been strengthened a couple years later, when he invited you to play video games with them even though your brother had been furious, had slammed the door in your face.

maybe it had been that hand extended in the dark.

or maybe it had been solidified at your high school graduation, when he had been there, despite his season just barely being over, standing with your family and clapping as you walked across the stage to get your diploma.

maybe it had been the way he had hugged you that day, so hard it knocked your cap off, strong arms wrapping around your torso. the way he had whispered, “proud of you, angel,” into your ear.

for as long as you could remember, he had been grabbing a bottle of gatorade from your fridge, laughing from the next room over, his games on the television in your living room.

if your head was a living room, the sound of his voice would be the television static, constant and reliable and home.

your dad made his favorite meal when he stayed for dinner, your mom knew all his stats by heart. your brother was his best friend.

and you were there, had always been there. and every boy you had ever kissed hadn’t been their own person, they had only been not auston.

maybe it had been everything he had ever done. the way you had received everything he had ever done. do you ever get over your first crush? do you ever forgive them for stealing all your innocent peace and serenity?

do you ever want to?

you were older now, just finished your second year in university.

you were different now. everything would be different. that’s what you repeated in your head, over and over.

but he made you young again.

you turned to look at him, wholly unprepared for what awaited you.

“auston,” you greeted, more like an observation or statement.

of course distance had only made him more handsome. somehow taller, bigger, broader, more defined even through his sweatpants and shirt. his jaw sharper, emphasized by his five-o’clock shadow, his eyes brighter, lashes longer, hair messier and curlier and more lovely.

everything about him lovely, and no longer just a memory, an image in your head. here he was, right in front of you, and that made him so much better in every way.

“that’s all you’ve got for me, angel?” he asked, smirk playing up on his lips, making your stomach turn in a different sort of way. he crossed his arms across his chest, shoulders straining against his t-shirt, leaned against the hallway frame. he looked down at you, eyes ever so teasing. “i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t disappointed.”

you wanted to slap yourself for how his words made your stomach drop. because oh, how you so despised the idea of disappointing him.

and you wanted to slap him, too, because you knew that he knew that, as well.

different, different, different. older, older, older.

“and what would you have preferred?” you quipped, a bite to your voice that made his smirk widen in a flash of teeth. “should i have jumped into your arms, teary-eyed?”

he pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, cocked his head, let his gaze melt down your body and up to your eyes again. the moment was heavy, potent. your skin hummed.

he shrugged. “even your dad got a hug,” was all he said. a flippant reminder that he knew you as well as anyone, that he knew all your family history, that he knew what made you tick. and worse, that he noticed you and what you did, what you were doing.

and you were young again, glassy-eyed at the dinner table as you counted the amount of times your father sighed after you spoke, making a tally with penne on your plate.

suddenly you couldn’t meet his eyes as he pushed himself off the wall, made to follow your brother back into the basement, gave a single, disbelieving shake of his head. “didn’t think you could get prettier,” he almost whispered.

he said it as if those words didn’t make your vision spin. you could practically see his prideful smirk as he walked down the stairs, leaving you, dazed, gripping your suitcase too tightly. here, and now.

your first few days at home were tough as you fought tooth and nail to maintain the confidence you had forged from what felt like nothing, to preserve the version of yourself that existed away from home, the version you had worked so hard to build.

but every comment felt charged, full of meaning, slight intention. this house seemed to suck the energy clean out of you, so you tried to be out of it as much as possible.

but auston was sitting at the table, on his phone, early one morning as you walked into the kitchen, having just woken up. his presence was like an electric shock to your body and mind, still soft with sleep.

you rubbed your eyes and adjusted your tank top, suddenly very aware of how you looked, how much skin you were showing.

you poured yourself a glass of water, poured a second one for him instinctually and placed it in front of him. he put his phone down immediately.

“thank you, angel,” he said easily, his eyes alight as you leaned back against the counter, crossed an arm in front of you, the other holding your glass.

his eyes on you seemed all too much, this early in the morning. you shuddered.

“welcome,” you rasped, pretended not to noticed how his eyes darkened at the sound of your voice, blushed and quickly decided it would probably be safest to leave. to get out before he could reduce you to shambles, the way he always did.

he got to you first.

“used to like to hang around me, angel,” he said, making you stop in your tracks, turn to face him. “what happened, hm?” he smiled. “don’t like me anymore?”

if only he knew. if only he knew just how much you still liked him, how it was still his mocking laugh in your head whenever you meaninglessly texted a boy from school.

“no,” was your simple answer. you cursed the waver in your voice.

“yeah? what’d i do?” he brought his cup to his full lips and took a slow sip, his swallow practically pornographic, at least to you. “used to follow me around like a puppy, now you won’t even look at me.”

you flushed deeper at the reminder of that wide-eyed, trembling little girl, who felt so far away, now. the one who hoped her older brother would invite his friend over, just so she could catch a glimpse of him.

"wasn’t like a puppy,” you mumbled, rosy shame tinting your neck and face.

he shook in a laugh. you both knew you were lying. the fact settled between you, energizing the space.

“no? look at me, then,” he said simply.

you did, and regretted it in a second, his gaze much too dark, heated. a trap. and you, sinking.

“sit,” he said. you did, sitting across from him at the table, again overcome with the urge to please. perhaps that little girl wasn’t so far away after all.

his eyes flashed again at your obedience. you watched him register the change in your demeanor - stiff to malleable, your gaze, once hard, suddenly so desperate.

this was the you he remembered.

“are you mad at me, angel?” he asked you, slow and deliberate.

you shook your head, fidgeted with your fingers.

“no?” his eyes were more prying than any touch could be. “then tell me what’s wrong, hm?” your felt your exhale come out shaky. he let out a tsk noise.

did you imagine the trembling of your lips? you willed stability into your voice.

“nothing’s wrong,” you choked out. “‘m just different now, that’s all. grown up.”

he nodded slowly, sighed, the silence and understanding heavy between you.

“you’ve really changed, hm, have you?”

it was your turn to nod, and the words in his mouth almost made you believe them.

you got up to leave with a steady exhale, but as you walked past his chair, he stood up, boxed you against the wall with his massive frame, one hand on the wall next to you, the other tilting your chin up so your gaze met his, truly.

you stayed in that position for a moment, your chest rising and falling in an undeniable way. you couldn’t help but drop your gaze to his lips for a moment, but a moment was enough. of course he noticed.

“you sure, pretty baby?” he rasped, so close you could feel his breath on your lips. he smirked before drawing back, leaving you there, almost drowsy with want and anger and a million other things. “i have my doubts.”

doubt, disappointment, it rattled around your head like the aftershocks of an earthquake.

and leaning there, you realized that underneath the rubble, you were just so afraid. downright terrified of - of what? not of auston, not of your family, not even of time itself.

it was that teary-eyed little girl, broken-hearted at the dinner table, braiding and undoing and braiding her hair while alone in her room.

she scared you so, so much.

and what was he playing at? what did it matter to him, if you were trying so hard to prove that you weren’t that little girl? he had never reciprocated your feelings, so why did he care now?

was he really so insistent on keeping your eyes wide, full of hope, and on him? always on him? did that really matter to him?

every sign was pointing to yes, it did. yes, you did.

and you realized there was more than one way to be different, older. more than one way to change.

so a few nights later, when your family sat down to watch his game, you did not join them, as you had for practically every game before.

the smallest act of rebellion, the smallest bit of difference, and yet already you could feel some kind of confidence solidify in your stomach. look what i can do, it said. look who i can be.

the following night, when you bumped into him in the hallway, you didn’t shrink away when he asked, “did you watch me?” you didn’t let his smirk distract you, nor his closeness.

you looked him in the eye as you shook your head.

you swallowed your delight at the surprise that flashed across his gaze. “no?” he asked.

“you have enough eyes on you,” you said, as stable as you could muster, straightening your posture, refusing to fidget.

his smile was that of someone who had been winning since birth.

“oh, you’re right about that, angel,” he said.

you shivered at his tone. “i know.” different, older. changed.

“you’re so smart, now, yeah?”

the barest tint of a blush began to form on your cheeks. yes, you thought, i am. always have been.

“but it just feels so good. to be just drowning in attention.” was that a trace of cruelty, dripping down his teeth? “but you wouldn’t know what that’s like, hm, pretty baby?”

and part of you faltered, frozen, could have cried at this attack - so calculated and personal. if it was anyone else you would have called it mean.

but a different, older, changed part of you recognized that you had changed something in him, too. auston had always been one of those people for whom you felt winning was second nature, easy as breathing.

but this familiar game wasn’t one he was winning without trying. all this testing you, tempting you, this was him, trying. this was new for him, too.

and that filled you with something downright dangerous.

“i don’t know, auston,” you drawled, barely recognizing your own voice. you took a step closer to him. “if you’re drowning in attention, why do you seem to want mine so badly?”

he sucked on his teeth for a second, making you smile. you picked a piece of lint that wasn’t there off of his sweatshirt.

“what’s wrong?” you pressed. “can’t handle one person not treating you like a god?” you smirked, the expression feeling foreign, powerful on your lips. “thought you were tougher than that.”

that darkness grew opaque in his eyes. in a moment, he had you boxed up against the wall, yet again, both of his hands on your hips.

how many times had you imagined his touch, like this? how many times had you tried to will it out of him? how was this all it took?

but you weren’t ready to fully give in. not quite yet.

you leaned back against the wall, reveled in the warmth of his palms.

“so you’re really ready to play, then, angel?” he asked. a warning shot went off in your head. a game, a game, a game, a voice said. only a game. “you know i always win.”

you tilted your head. “you don’t even know what game i’m playing,” you said. “besides, no matter what,” you placed a hand on his chest, grabbed a fist-full of his sweatshirt. “i’ll outwork you. every time.”

and this time, you were the one to leave him there, practically panting. the high was almost addictive.

that high was what you were chasing again when you agreed to go out with an old classmate. you could concede that you probably wouldn’t have said yes on your own - but this was you, outworking the natural. showing the god that his angel wouldn’t always be around.

you knew he would be over just as you were leaving, he and your brother were getting ready to go to the beach.

“dress up for me, angel?” he asked, smug. he looked you up and down lazily, eyes catching on the short hem of your sundress.

joy bubbled up in your throat at the fact that the answer was technically no. you shook your head. “have a date, auston,” you said.

his face soured, if only for a second.

“that right?” you thought you saw his perpetual lean stiffen for a moment.

you nodded. “catching up with an old friend. should be fun.”

he shifted his sunglasses from to the top of his head to the bridge of his nose. “an old friend? didn’t realize you had any old friends, angel.”

a littler version of you would have choked back a sob. had his comments always been so cutting? so selfish and mean? “you don’t realize a lot, it seems,” you said instead, stepping so close to him you could see your reflection in his sunglasses.

you lifted a delicate hand to his face, stilling it in your grasp as you ran a finger along the edge of your lips, fixing your gloss in your reflection.

something rumbled through his jaw into your hand. it felt like power and healing and winning.

you released your grip and stepped back, grabbing your bag and making for the door. “have fun at the beach,” you said, only a little patronizing. “don’t wait up for me.”

on the way out, you let out the smallest laugh to yourself. if only younger you could see present you. telling auston matthews not to wait up for her. unimaginable.

the date was good, honestly. better than you expected. he was sweet, and funny, and you could really see yourself being friends with him, which was awesome. you were both on the same page, liking each other but not really attracted to each other, and by the end of the date you already had plans to hang out with some of his other friends.

you were happy when you pulled back into your driveway.

you were happy when you entered your room, laid down on your bed, smiled at this proof of your growth. a friend. what a beautiful thing.

you couldn’t tell how much time had passed between when you got home and when he appeared in your doorway.

suddenly, he was there. just like how he entered your life, you thought briefly. suddenly, he was there.

you smiled. “auston,” you said.

“what’re you smiling about?” he asked, the smallest bit of a smirk on his face.

you sighed. “just had such a good time.”

“did you?” he asked, “‘m glad, angel.”

“are you?” you mocked him, sitting up, fixing your dress around you.

he nodded as he walked towards you, made an affirmative humming sound.

“happy you thought he was a good time.”

you scrunched up your face in confusion. even as he got closer, the nerves that used to plague you were nowhere to be found.

he now stood next to you, a towering presence. the energy between the two of you was different than it had ever been before.

you tilted your head back, leaned against your headboard to meet his eyes. “and why is that?”

his smirk was delicious. “’cause he’s going to make me look even better than i already am.”

and a younger you would have sighed with desire, with want, with everything dangerous like that. but something even more dangerous was alive and growing inside of you now, something that had nothing to do with him.

you were almost confused at the fact that now, in this moment, when everything could have happened, you didn’t particularly care if it did.

it dawned on you then that perhaps auston had always loved you. he loved you the way a child loves the candy their parents tell them to save until after dinner - loving the knowledge that it is there, that it will always be there. loving the temptation, the prospect, the comfort. but not loving, truly. not the way you so desired. when dessert is done, that love is abandoned.

and he was not the auston you had so desired, all these years. he was not the hero, the god, the perfect boy turned man, he was not everything.

you looked up at him, now, feeling none of the delirious wanting that had defined him for so long.

“would you stay, do you think?” you asked, voice steady and simply curious.

he raised a brow in confusion. “what?”

“would you stay? afterwards? even for a little bit?”

you could see it now, and you sort of already knew the answer. you could see yourself laying in this same bed, shaken out of that sticky afterglow by him, getting up, getting dressed, getting out.

the man in front of you now, he actually let out a laugh. “what did you think this was, angel?” he asked.

and younger you would have cried forever. spent eternity breathing in tears.

but this older, different, changed you, she laughed right back at him. because he had said something that deserved to be laughed at.

“who do you think i am?” you asked, smiling.

because you were not his angel, not anymore. you were not his pretty baby. you were healing, you were growing. he was not your superman, your hand extended in the dark.

he was just a person, a person who was used to your attention, and didn’t like that he no longer had it. a person who could be cruel when you eyes weren’t on him.

and you thought that the next time you kissed someone, maybe they would finally be a real person, not a person lacking.

you weren’t really paying attention to him now, but at some point, auston matthews left your bedroom. and you didn’t even notice.

and your dad still knew his favorite meal, and would probably make it tonight. your mom still knew all his stats, even though they had changed from two nights ago. he was still your brother’s best friend.

and you were still there. beautifully, wonderfully there.

the living room in your head mellowed. the television static was finally just television static, nothing more. and there was a little girl sitting on the couch. and she was laughing.

fin.

#auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews x reader #nhl #hockey #hockey x reader #hockey angst #angst fic #auston matthews smut #toronto maple leafs

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yeonjuns-beanie · 2 years

Text

Under the Influence

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex, weed use, high sex, light choking, friends to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn kinda, think that's it

summary: you have known eddie since high school. you have since graduated but stayed rooting for him to finish his senior year. in commemoration of him graduating, you come back to Hawkins to celebrate. a slip of the tongue causes a confession to come loose.

eddie x female reader

a/n: been tryna write this since my summer ended but uni is kickin my ass smh. hope whomever decides to read this enjoys it! :) ~nero

word count:8.9k (this became self indulgent i’m sorry)

Summer was creeping upon you. The anticipation of being on break again provided you with the spirit to feel alive again. Your spring semester drained you of everything you had left. It was inevitable and you wanted nothing more than to finally feel peace again.

As you entered your apartment, you dropped your bags at your front door and began looking through the mail you grabbed. As you flicked through the pieces of paper you noticed a handwritten letter sticking out against the rest. The address was messily written but the name issued you a flashbulb of memories.

“Hawkins?”

Dropping the rest of the pile on the counter, you opened up the envelope. Opening the card that was tucked inside you read the words out loud.

“Congrats, you are invited to the graduation of Eddie Mun- holy shit! Please call the number below to give us a head count. See you soon.”

You dropped the card and wiped your face, a smile forming across your cheeks and solidifying your disbelief.

“He actually fuckin did it. I- lemme call them”

Walking over to your landline, you dialed the number that you had memorized by heart. While waiting for the call to go through, the dull rings seemed to amplify your anticipation and you started to feel nervous. You hadn’t spoken to Eddie, nor his uncle for a few months due to having gotten completely wrapped up in your university schedule. On the fifth ring, the call finally picked up.

“Munson residence, who’s calling?”

You chewed at your bottom lip before speaking

“Hey Wayne, how’s it going?”

A quick silence fell over the call before you heard Wayne laugh over the line.

“Well, I’ll be damned. How you doing y/n? It’s been forever since we’ve heard from you.”

“ I know, I know. I’m sorry about that by the way. This semester was beating my ass, I was playing constant catch up.”

Your tone fell a bit, feeling a little bit guilty for not having spoken to Wayne or Eddie for such a long time. Before you left for college, you and Eddie had become best friends. Your friendship with each other bloomed and cemented itself for life while you were in school together. With Wayne welcoming you with open arms, you felt incredibly close to them. A bond that was almost too strong.

“Ah c’mon. You know I’m just pulling your leg, kid.”

“Some things never change.”

You both laughed before Wayne spoke again.

“So I can’t imagine you called just to catch up, what’s the real reason.”

“Can’t get nothing past you…I was calling to speak to Eddie and congratulate him on finally pulling through his senior year.”

“So you looked through your mail, huh?

“I did. I wanted to let him know that I-“

You were cut off by Wayne yelling in the background

“Eddie! Someone’s on the phone for ya!”

His voice cleared up and you could tell he removed his hand from the bottom of the phone.

“He’s gonna love this y/n”

“Oh c’mon. He can’t have missed me that much.”

“You’d be surprised. Think he did it because of you honestly-ah here he is.”

You grabbed the body of your phone and pulled it down to the floor with you, your feet starting to hurt from standing in the same position.

“Hello?”

“Congratulations on finally graduating, Munson.”

“Y/n?!”

“In the flesh…well not exactly in the flesh 'cause we’re on the phone but yeah.”

Your nerves started to get the best of you and you, unfortunately, began stumbling over your words.

“It’s been two years and you’re still awkward as ever.”

“Shut up. Least I’m not a dungeon master, fuckin nerd.”

You heard his scoff over the phone and you could almost see his face as if it was right in front of you.

“Whatever. Anyways, thank you. Did you get the card? Is that why you called?”

“Obviously. I wouldn’t miss you graduating for the world. So when is it?”

You began to smile, feeling an overwhelming sense of joy for Eddie finally finishing a milestone in his life.

“It’s gonna be on the 27th of May.”

“Oh, perfect I’ll be done with finals and shit wayyy before then. Really, Eddie, I’m proud of you.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me now, y/l/n.”

“I’m not! I’m just proud of you finally getting through it. You’ve been talking about it n you pulled through.‘86 was your year.”

He mumbled a low thank you feeling shy from the praise you were giving him. You could almost hear him thinking on the other end of the line about where to take the conversation next.

“So when are you done for the semester?”

“I actually finished today. Most of my professors gave our exams during study week so I’m technically on break a little bit early.”

“Oh, wow okay. Well, that’s nice.”

“Yeah, problem is I just don’t know what I’m gonna do for the summer.”

“You should come out here. Stay with me n Wayne for a bit.”

You went silent, thinking about the idea in depth before realizing it was a great idea. You’d finally have the time to catch up and do it properly instead of over the phone. You heard Eddie speak again trying to backpedal on his initial statement.

“O-Only if you want to, ya know. I wouldn’t wanna-“

“-Sounds like a great idea. Think Wayne would be okay with it…?”

You trailed off throwing the ball into his court without trying to have too much excitement trespass through your tone.

“Y/n…you used to practically live here before you ran off to college. I’m sure he’d be happy to have you here again.”

You laughed, realizing how silly you sounded when Eddie was spot on.

“When should I come out then?”

“Whenever you want, sweetheart. Just let me know beforehand so I can clean my room. Gotta make sure you still think highly of me.”

That nickname. Year after year you had to convince yourself that that’s all it was. Even after you moved away, after every phone call it would ring in your ears like a perpetual death knell. Reminding you of what you couldn’t have even though it was so close. The feelings bubbled up again and you swallowed them with a playful insult wanting to not stew while still on the phone.

“You cleaning your room…I think hell would freeze over before that happened.”

“Keep talking and I’ll take back my offer.”

“Okay, okay my white flag is in the air, Eds.”

Your mouth moved before your brain could catch up with you. Your following words could’ve been easily heard as friends excited to see each other, but you knew. You slipped up. You knew and you could only hope you didn’t rat yourself out.

“I wanna see you.”

An airy chuckle left his throat.

“You know you can just say that you miss me.”

“I’d rather shit in my hands and clap.”

“Okay, what if I say it first? I miss you. See not so hard.”

You sighed, trying to assimilate the butterflies flying in your stomach into something else.

He was just your best friend, nothing more.

You constantly had to remind yourself, and yet the more you said it the less true it seemed. Your next words came out too easily and Eddie was not one to miss an opportunity at teasing you.

“Fine. I miss you too.”

“Eager, aren't we?”

“I have every right to put the phone on the hook right now, Munson.”

A full-fledged laugh left him and forced a smile upon your face. The sound was a melody of sorts, a song that you forgot you knew and you could listen to it on repeat every day. The two of you continued talking and it was like nothing ever changed between the two of you. The way you were sitting on the floor reminded you of your senior year and how you would perch yourself at the edge of your bedroom door. Stretching the phone cord as far as it could go so that you wouldn’t wake your parents up talking to him into the early hours of the morning.

Everything was so easy with him that it was maddening. It drove you crazy that you always seemed to have felt something more. Something that you would rather drown in than say out loud, out of fear of losing him forever.

Before you realized it, hours had passed by and it began to grow dim in your apartment. The sun finally cowering behind the mountains and the building itself. Looking out the window, the sunset made the sky look like it was on fire, reminiscent of something you felt within.

“Alright Eds, I think Imma grab some takeout from somewhere before everything closes down.”

“Damn already? Time flew by.”

“Crazy what a couple months does to us, huh?”

“Alright, but before you go, I’ve got one last thing for ya.”

“And that is..?”

“Well…what if..nah nevermind.”

“Munson if you don’t spit it out.-”

Your mind wandered through all the possible questions he could ask you and your stomach fell to your ass in anticipation.

“When does your break end?”

“Uhh, I think late August. Why?”

“Wellll, why don’t you just stay for the summer? We could do it like we used to. Whaddaya say, sweetheart?”

If he could see your face, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. You were smiling ear to ear, the thought of spending the whole summer with him was something you thought only your dreams could make up.

“I think that’s a great idea, Eddie.”

“Is that a smile I hear?”

“You’re impossible.”

“And you wouldn't have it any other way.”

He was right though, you wouldn’t. Anything remotely different you would shun the idea of.

“I’ll call you later tomorrow after I go down to the airport and figure out the earliest I can come out.”

“Alright, y/n, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Talk to you tomorrow, Eds.”

Eds. If only you knew what it did to him. You two were the same coin just stuck on opposite sides. Your backs were turned, trapped in stubborn ways and fearful pride. His heart thumped a little bit faster than usual, even himself noticing the skip. He placed the phone back on its plastic body and hovered over it. His thoughts raced about if he would ever find the courage to tell you his truth.

You placed the phone on the hook and finally got up from your position on the floor. Stretching you suddenly felt warm all over, the reality of your summer setting in and you smiled.

“The whole summer.”

The day couldn’t end fast enough. If you could, you would've packed your things and flown over tonight, but the universe couldn’t allow that kind of freedom. Instead, you opted to fill up your night with your usual activities, starting with your quest for dinner first.

After you made it back to your apartment, your hand was weighed down by the plastic bag that was holding the food. Setting it down on the floor, you rummaged through your bag for your keys. Unlocking your door, you flicked on the light and set your food on the counter. Turning around to face your sink, you began washing your hands and a smile began its formation on your face.

The mere thought of being able to spend time with Eddie uninterrupted again was something you thought only your dreams could make up. Something that existed only in the moments before you drifted to sleep in hopes that one day it would manifest into reality. As much as you wished for your relationship to be something more, the compromise of just getting to spend time with him would satisfy you enough.

Sitting down you unpacked your bag and began to eat. Thoughts of what your summer was to bring clouded your mind. You hoped that when you went to the airline in the morning that you could catch the earliest flight, maybe even a red eye just so you could maximize your time there.

Finishing up your food, you threw your containers away and began your nightly routine. It was a little bit earlier than usual for you, but you wanted to get to the airport first thing in the morning, hoping to beat any lines because you knew how crowded it could get in there. Finishing up your routine, you finally crawled into bed and tried your best to force yourself asleep. Your nerves were running like it was going to be your first day of school tomorrow. Like always, you shut your eyes and imagined your fantasies in technicolor hoping subconsciously, that maybe, in that special trailer in Hawkins, Eddie was doing the same.

When your eyes flickered open the following morning, your body woke you up with the sun peaking above the mountains casting a warm orange hue in your bedroom. With the sky changing from its midnight murk into pale pink, blues, and oranges. you pulled yourself from your bed and began to get yourself ready. By the time you finished you still had a little time to spare but decided to drive down to the airport just to get it out of the way.

The drive down was halfway across town and the morning traffic was always bumper to bumper. Your university was on the same side of town and driving down every day was one of the many things you hated about going to school.

Arriving at the airport, you meandered your way around the building coming across the company you were looking for. Unfortunately for you, you happened to be one of the poor bastards thinking the same thing as everyone else and the line was daunting. Shoulders hunched, you walked to the back of the line.

After waddling your way up to the front of the line a representative finally called you over after what seemed like hours. Running through all the possible flight options you opted for a flight the next day in the late morning thinking that that would allow enough time to do what you needed to do.

Before you headed back home, you ran to the store to pick up a few things you knew you would need so you wouldn’t have to buy so much once you made it to Hawkins. Finishing up in the store, you sat back in your car and finally took a look at the clock.

It’s almost 11 already damn

Reaching for your seatbelt, you clicked it into place and sighed, talking to yourself.

“As much as I want to grab food I should prolly save for when I’m out there.”

Sticking your keys into the ignition, you began the drive back home figuring that by the time you got back home and called Eddie, the rest of your day would be taken up by packing. Plus, you had enough food in your apartment that you could make yourself something quick later in the day.

Pulling into the parking lot of your complex, you sighed again, happy to finally be home. Opening your back seat you grabbed all your grocery bags and shut your door with your hip. Walking up the stairs, you dug into your back pocket fishing for your keys to open the door. Once in the safe space of your home, you dropped your bags on the counter and rushed over to the phone, sudden excitement brewing within you.

Checking the clock, you calculated the time difference and figured Eddie should be up by now. Dialing his number, you waited patiently. The ringing being the only thing filling up the silence and finally, the line picked up.

“Munson re-”

“-Afternoon dork.”

“Well hello to you too.”

Both of you chuckled, the dynamic between you two never failing to amuse you while your laughs subsided into heavy puffs of air out your nose.

“Did you talk to Wayne yet?”

Eddie sighed and your stomach dropped a little bit, his tone a little solemn.

“I did actually…and…he said that he couldn’t…have thought of a better idea.”

“You jackass, you had me worried for a second there.”

He was laughing on the other line completely getting a kick out of taking the piss out of you.

“Anyways, I got my flight scheduled. I’ll be flying out tomorrow at 11am my time and it’s only a three-hour flight so I should be there like 5ish your time?”

“Oh damn, y/n, okay! You weren’t playing around.”

A snort of air left your nose, a burst of confidence suddenly flowing through you.

“I meant what I said yesterday, Eds…I wanna see you! Imissyou.”

His skin goosed up yet again, the nickname sounding so sweet from your tongue. Meanwhile, the last part of your sentence faded into mush and he took this as his opportunity to swallow his feelings for just a moment. Eddie knew your antics well enough that he caught the words perfectly. But you didn’t need to know that.

“I’m sorry, what was that sweetheart? I didn’t quite catch it.”

“I’ll cancel my flight.”

“But then you won’t get to see me as soon y/n. I’d hate to make you wait any longer.”

You could hear the fake pout in his voice knowing that he was just teasing you.

“You make my head itch, you know that?”

“Well once you get here, I can scratch it for ya. How’s that sound?”

You rolled your eyes, used to his antics but never used to the way they made you feel. Especially, when they were so pointed.

“Sounds great, but ya know what would sound better? If you could pick me up from the airport. If not I totally understand.”

“Y/n. How else are you going to get here? Hitchhike?”

“Well I mean if I have to…”

You trailed off feeling a little guilty about asking him in the first place.

“Where ya flying into?”

“Uhh, Marion airport.”

He sighed heavily over the phone which made you start spinning your wheel of anxiety.

“You know you don’t have to ask me for shit like that. I was gonna come out regardless y/n, I’m just messing with ya.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding and laughed it off. You guys continued to talk for a bit before you checked the time and figured you should start packing all of your things to make sure you weren’t stressed out tomorrow morning. Saying your goodbyes, you hung up the phone and began the massive chore that was packing.

By the time you were finished the sun was beginning to set. Per usual, it took you longer than it should have because you got distracted by so many different things. Mainly, it was you going over which record you wanted to play next, but picking through all your clothes was a challenging feat in itself. Sighing, finally content with what you had come together with, you walked into the kitchen to make yourself something to eat before winding down for the night.

Once you felt that it was late enough, you went through your nightly routine lightly smiling throughout the whole ordeal thinking about what was to come. Sliding into bed, you snuggled yourself underneath the covers patiently waiting for sleep to overtake you.

As you got ready the next morning, it dawned on you that you would need a ride to the airport so that you wouldn’t have to leave your car there all summer. Calling one of your friends a little later in the morning they agreed to come to pick you up and drop you off at the airport. Hugging them, you grabbed your luggage from the backseat and shared your goodbyes as you walked back into the building. Checking your luggage, you didn’t have to wait long before your flight began to board.

Finding your seat, you settled in pretty quickly. Trying your best to not let your nerves overwhelm you at the moment. Once the plane made it through the turbulence of take-off and your stomach found itself back in its proper location, you eased your worries. Feeling the effects of your early rise finally hit you, your eyes fluttered shut and a well-needed nap overcame your body.

The minor turbulence flying into Indiana woke you up from your deep slumber. Surprisingly, you slept through most of the flight and it left you feeling more refreshed than you have in a while. Looking out the window, you could see the patches of green become more defined, slowly turning into individual trees and buildings rather than just masses of color. When the wheels of the plane finally touched the ground, you couldn’t wait to get off. The excitement that you were suppressing now bubbling up again.

Walking through the airport, you followed the signs to baggage claim and on your journey there you spotted a mop of dusky, brown hair waiting nearby. He was facing away from you, but the vibrant Dio patch assured you that it was him. Watching the carousel of bags run past you, you noticed the plush tag hanging off your luggage and walked over to it, not wanting to wait for it to mosey its way to you.

It was almost picture perfect. The way you clicked your handle into place and your eyes met his as you brought your head up. A wide smile spreading across both your faces. You jogged toward him, your luggage trailing behind you as Eddie did the same with his arms stretched out. You rolled your luggage upright as you wrapped your arms around him, his hair tickling your face as you nuzzled into him.

“Glad to see the plane didn’t crash.”

“I slept the whole ride here so I didn’t even get the chance to think about it.”

You both giggled and he squeezed you just a little harder as if you would disappear if he didn’t.

“Shit, it’s so good to see you, sweetheart.”

You hoped he didn’t feel the extra beat your heart jumped as the words left his mouth. You let out an airy laugh, agreeing with him.

“Seems like it’s been forever.”

You pulled away from each other, getting another good look before he spoke again.

“You ready?”

“Mhmm.”

You followed him out to the parking lot to his van and all at once, so many memories came flooding back to you. Eddie took your luggage from you and tossed it in the back. As you heard the back doors slam, you went to reach for the passenger’s handle. Not before hearing his footsteps quicken and a loud

“Ah ah ah!”

Eddie grabbed the door for you and theatrically bowed down with a cheesy accent possessing his cords.

“M’lady.”

You smiled rolling your eyes as you hopped into his van. The drive wasn’t long to his home and seemed shorter with how much you guys were talking. The conversation never ended and it left you feeling more than just nostalgia.

As he pulled up to his trailer, he made a point to open the door for you again, before going to grab your luggage from the back. You went to grab it but he jerked the bag away from you giving you a look that said ‘don’t even try it’. You followed him up the steps into the trailer and he brought your bag into his bedroom.

You stuffed your hands into your back pockets looking around the trailer that once was your home away from home. You kicked your shoes off leaving them by the door as you heard Eddie trail from the hallway.

“Is Wayne not here?”

“Uh uh. He picked up an extra shift so he probably won’t be back until the morning.”

You nodded and Eddie tacked onto his previous words.

“So it’s just you and me tonight, baby.”

He wiggled his eyebrows adding more to the double entendre that he created. You smiled lightly and drew your hands from your pockets, wiggling them with little enthusiasm.

“Oh, great. I can’t wait.”

Sarcasm dripped from your dry tone, hoping that you could keep your act up as long as you planned to. Eddie came closer to you and wrapped his hands around yours. His rings sending a quick chill up the surface of your skin.

“Aww, don’t be like that. Thought you said you missed me?”

He fake pouted trying his very best to get a rise out of you. Then his eyebrows raised.

“Think I know how to get you to soften up.”

You smiled.

“Oh yeah, and what's that.”

“...Oh you know…just a little bit of green.”

You tapped on your chin, playing like you had to think about his offer.

“You roll I’ll order food?”

“There she is!”

He smiled dragging you into his bedroom. You sat on his bed and starfished out on top of it. Looking around his room, you noticed he changed a few posters, added some small ones here and there and

“I see you changed your guys’ logo again. I like it.”

“Yeah? I think the lettering looks better.”

“It definitely does. Think it fits the genre better too.”

Eddie smiled to himself, finding comfort in your approval as well as finally fishing out all his materials to roll a joint.

“I always forget where I put the fuckin paper.”

You snorted and brought yourself up from the bed. Bending down to the floor, you unzipped your bag and rummaged through your layers of clothes before finding the shorts you were looking for.

“I’m gonna go change real quick. My jeans are suffocating me.”

“You know where the bathroom is.”

Slipping out of his room, you turned into the bathroom and quickly changed out of your pants. You didn’t bother closing the door, part of it was you being so comfortable around him and the subconscious part was you hoping he’d pass by. As you walked back into his room you dropped your jeans on top of your suitcase. What you didn’t notice, was how Eddie’s eyes grew wide at your entrance.

Your shorts were, for lack of a better word, short. They covered just enough so that the bottom of your buttcheek wouldn’t hang out of the bottom but barely covered enough to keep his thoughts at bay. Your legs were long and he was particularly obsessed with the curve of your thighs and how they molded perfectly to your ass. He was obsessed with everything about you to be completely transparent, but there was something about the bottom half of your body that just kept his thoughts racing.

You looked over at the tray noticing he hadn’t even laid the weed out yet.

“I’ll go order food. What are you feeling?”

His eyes suddenly spaced out thinking about what sounded good to eat.

“Pizza?”

“Works for me.”

As you walked down the hallway you heard him yell out.

“And I’ll be paying. Just a fyi.”

You smiled to yourself before picking up the phone and dialing the number to the local pizza place through muscle memory. It was something you thought you would have forgotten now, but this was something that you used to do so often, your brain just kept space for it. As the phone began to ring you called out to Eddie.

“Meat lovers or cheese?”

“Just do both, you know we’ll finish it.”

As he finished yelling from his bedroom, the line picked up and you placed the order. The guy on the phone informed you it be about a half hour before the delivery would be made. Finishing up on the phone, you walked back into the bedroom and flopped onto his bed, sitting crisscrossed. You stared at him rolling the weed at his desk, unable to take your eyes off of him. He was just so pretty in your eyes.

And now he’s bringing it to his mouth oh god

Before you even had the chance to admire him, your thoughts were quickly clouded with your lust for him. The way his tongue swiped across the paper, adhering one side to the other was oddly arousing. Everything he did had the ability to make you squirm.

“If you’re gonna eye fuck me like that at least buy me dinner first.”

His voice brought you out of your trance and it took a second for his words to sink in. When they did, y our defenses went up immediately.

“I- I was not eye fucking you Eds.”

“Uh huh, sure and this isn’t a joint in my hands.”

You groaned, embarrassment slowly finding its way into your face. Eddie though was more than amused. In his own mocking way, he was testing the water. Beneath all his teasing he was trying to see where your feelings were without directly asking you. Plus, every time you got defensive, he thought you looked adorable so it was a win-win for him.

Eddie walked over to the bed, sitting across from you. He leaned back to grab his ashtray and set it in the middle of both of your guys’ legs. Trying so hard to change the subject, you brought up the pizza.

“Pizza said it’ll be here in like a half hour so we should be finished with this by then.”

“It’s no doubt that we’ll be finished with this joint, but the real question is will we be on our second one.”

You shrugged your shoulders

“Honestly, probably.”

Eddie held the joint out to you trying to give you the first hit. You pushed his hand back giving the joint back to him.

“Dealer hits first.”

“Yeah, well, dealer makes the rules and dealer says his favorite guest gets first hit.”

He held the joint back out to you and you took it seeing that there was no way you would win this battle. Looking up at him you had an idea.

“Wanna light it for me?”

Eddie looked up at you, his chocolate eyes softening at your request. As you looked back at him, you felt your eyebrows furrow upwards questioning him and what he was about to do next. His lips quirked up into a small smile as he silently agreed with you picking up the lighter off the bed. Leaning forward, he brought the lighter to the joint, his eyes flickering back and forth between your own and the now smoking tip. Inhaling, you took a long drag and the burning embers of the weed glowed a bright orange.

Exhaling, you blew the smoke right into Eddie’s face, smiling as you did so. You began to giggle and imprisoned your bottom lip between your teeth as the smoke cleared and you handed the joint back to him.

“Nice aim, princess.”

You rolled your shoulders back and sat tall on the bed, smirking at him.

“I’ve been practicing.”

He scoffed at you shaking his head as he brought the joint to his lips. As he inhaled you couldn’t help but stare at him and commit his features to memory. He was just so nice to look at. The way his hair cascaded down his face, the way his lips wrapped around the joint, and his expression as he fully inhaled, you just couldn’t tear your eyes away. It wasn’t until you breathed in the secondhand smoke and heard his voice rattle through the air did you come to.

“Ya know, sweetheart, if you grab the camera over there you can look a little longer.”

Mortified. You were horrifically embarrassed but somehow also kinda glad that you got caught. Eddie slowly looked up at you through his lashes smirking at his ability to make you flustered. Your mouth hung open looking for a comeback but silence encased your tongue.

Stuck in the realm of your embarrassment, the universe seemed to be on your side because there was a loud knock on the door.

“Ah, must be the pizza man. Here hold this.”

Eddie handed you the joint while he pushed himself up from the bed and grabbed some cash lounging on his desk. You fell back on the bed letting out a sigh of relief. The air was beginning to get too thick with him still in the room. Taking another drag, you felt yourself fully feel the effects of the weed. You felt more relaxed than you had all day. Your limbs feeling a little light and your head heavy. Your bottom lip found itself trapped between your teeth as you tried your best to not smile as wide as you could.

With another long drag, you heard Eddie’s footsteps come down the hallway. He only stuck his head in at first before fully bringing his body into frame. You held your arm out signaling to him to take the joint.

“Hey, let's g-what’s got you all smiley, y/n?”

You chuckled trying your best to keep your thoughts at bay.

“Oh, ya know…nothing.”

You knew yourself better though. You knew that he knew whenever you got any type of inebriated, whether it be through smoke or harsh liquids, you knew that you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. Which was exactly why you were giggling. It was coming up and you knew you weren’t gonna be able to keep it in much longer. Eddie called out to you knowingly.

“Y/n? C’mon, tell me. What is it?”

“Okaay, if you must know. Just thinking about how much I like you.”

“What?”

“Wha-oh.”

Oh.

Suddenly it was like you never got high in the first place. Fear and anxiety overwhelmed your body as the realization hit you. The silence was deafening. So loud that you could hear a faint ringing in your ears. The cat was out of the bag now and you couldn’t even find the words to cover your tracks.

“I-uh. Eddie please just forget I said that. I don’t wanna…I don't wan-”

“-Can I try something?”

“What? Make fun of me…”

“Sit up, sweetheart.”

You forced yourself up but kept your head hung low.

“Gotta look at me to do this.”

You sighed, feeling the bed dip, and silently prepped yourself for rejection. Eddie brought the joint up to his lips, taking the final drag. After he leaned back dropping the roach in his ashtray, he sat closer to you and brought his hand up underneath your chin gazing into your eyes. His eyes asked a simple “do you trust me?” and you nodded preparing for anything.

His face slowly got closer to yours waiting for you to pull away, but when you didn’t he closed the rest of the distance quickly, his lips attaching themselves to yours. Your eyes widened and a small, muffled squeak escaped from your throat. Settling into the moment, you placed your hand on his lower thigh for support and returned the kiss. As you parted your mouth, he blew the smoke into yours. You pulled away to blow the smoke out your direction and when you looked back, Eddie’s eyes were glued to yours.

“So do I.”

You cocked your head, not understanding what he meant.

“I like you too. For too long now it seems.”

Your lips parted slightly, shock killing the words that you meant to speak. Your eyes softened, the reality of your dreams staring back at you.

“Can you kiss me again?”

He didn’t speak, instead, he moved toward you with a quickness that you almost didn’t register. His lips were on yours again, soft and gentle. He brought his hand up to cup your cheek and trail back behind your neck. You needed more of him though. It wasn’t enough and all that was pent up was boiling over.

You brought yourself up to your knees and swung one leg over his lap straddling him. He pulled away from you, breath heavy and hands wandering over your thighs. You played with the ends of his hair and placed your hand on his chest. He brought his hand up to lay on top of yours and you hung your head.

“I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

“How long?”

It took you a second to register his question but once you did you smiled thinking about how chessy your answer was going to sound.

“Since before I left. One night when we were on the phone with each other I just…something clicked and I realized it was you. And I’ve been keeping it to myself since then…”

“God dammit y/n.”

A huff of air left his nose and you could see a small smirk forming on his mouth.

“All this time I’ve been going bat shit about when I should tell you and here you are parading around with this crush on me for two years?! When I could’ve been doing this instead.”

Eddie held you by your hips, flipping your position on his bed you were now underneath him. He hovered over you his hair and his necklace draping down towards you. You reached up to his pick, twirling it between your fingers.

“I’ve always liked this.”

“You want it?”

“Maybe.”

You smiled up at him but when he looked into your eyes he saw what other feelings were cycling through your head. Your eyes trailed down to his lips and back up to his eyes, sporting a knowing look. Bending down, you saw he was about to gingerly place his lips again, so you grabbed the collar of his shirt and brought him down to you. This is what you needed to feel. The mutual need after denying yourselves of each other for so long.

Eddie’s hand trailed down to your torso finding solace in the dip of your waist. You brought your hand up to the nape of his neck and slowly weaved your fingers through his hair, grabbing a handful of it. A low groan left his throat and you rolled your hips up towards him in response.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

You panted for a moment trying to get your breath back, but as soon as you began to ask your question it was stolen from you. Nerves and excitement rushed through you.

“I want you.”

“Shit, don’t just be saying shit y/n.”

“I’m not. I-I need you, Eddie. Please.”

You watched his eyes dilate, his breath quickening. He kissed you again in an attempt to quiet his thoughts that were racing one after the other. Every imagine, every fantasy he ever whipped up about you coming to light as he gazed down upon you. Your shorts slowly riding higher and higher, exposing more of yourself to him.

“On one condition.”

You looked up at him, ready to give him anything that he asked for.

“Be mine. From now until whenever-”

“Yes. I’m yours, Eddie. Always have been.”

You shied away from the end of your answer feeling a little flustered admitting everything fully to him. Hearing you not only accept him but affirm him with such certainty sent chills up his spine. Having enough of the talking you decided to make a move. You rolled the two of you over so that you were straddling him again. You took the hem of his shirt into your hands, signaling him to take it off.

In a swift motion, the fabric left his body, leaving his top half exposed to you. He smiled up at you before grabbing your shirt.

“Your turn, y/n.”

Slipping out of your shirt you threw it somewhere in his room, worrying about its whereabouts later. Eddie brought his hands to your hips, squeezing at the skin there and slowly trailing his hands up and down your sides. You smiled down at him before reaching your hands behind your back and unclasped your bra. You let the fabric fall in front of you before tossing it to the floor.

“Shit, sweetheart. You tryna kill me.”

You grabbed one of his hands, smiling as you brought it up to your breast, laying your hand atop his to signal him to mold the skin there.

“Maybe.”

You felt his skin shutter and his hips roll up into yours. In a blink, you were back underneath him and he rolled his hips back into yours the friction of his jeans penetrating through the light layers you were wearing on the bottom. Eddie came down to kiss you again, somehow leaving you the most breathless out of all the ones he’d given you. When he pulled away there was a different look in his eyes, almost a nervous gaze that fell on him.

“I, uh. Ya know I haven’t done this…a lot and the last person I was with it just…was not up to par so just let me know when you feel good?”

You kinda wondered what went wrong with the last person for a moment before you brought yourself back down to the reality of your situation. Cupping his face in your hand, you looked at him directly, making sure that there was not a shadow of a doubt present.

“As long as I’m with you, Eddie, I’ll always feel good.”

An extra puff of air left his nose as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. Lightly laughing he came back up to face you.

“Stop saying all the shit that makes me soft. I’m supposed to taking control here.” Rolling your hips up to his you were trying your best to tease him as your body slowly succumbed to your unbearable need for him.

“Then take it…take me, Eddie. Please.”

“God, you’re gonna be the death of me.”

He came back down to your face placing a needy kiss on your lips. He trailed his way down your jaw and then down to your neck where he tried to find your sweet spot. Kissing around, he felt the way you shuddered as his lips connected right before the junction where your neck and shoulders met. He smirked against your skin before attacking the same spot, sucking on it. His hand trailed up your sides and rested on your boob before rolling your nipple in between his fingers. A moan left your throat, a little louder than you expected but at this moment you couldn’t care less.

“Eddie, please.”

He kissed over your skin one more time before returning your question.

“Please what, baby.”

Eddie’s hand traveled down your body before slipping past the waistband of your shorts and underwear slowly slipping his fingers between your folds. You moaned out, your hips moving on their own volition.

“God, you’re so fuckin wet, baby.”

“Can’t help it when I have you on top of me, finally.”

You were getting drunk on the feeling of just finally being able to touch him like this, not even thinking about the answer you needed to give him because the way he was rolling your bud was driving you crazy enough. His motions stopped and you snapped your eyes open, confused as to why his fingers left your core. Eddie looked at you, a smug smile plastered on his face.

“Soaked just from a little kissing, huh? I think I know how to fix this for you but you have to tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

All inhibition left you. Your need to feel Eddie in every capacity was much stronger than your will to keep some composure.

“Eddie, please. I need you. I need you inside of me. I’ve waited so long to have you that I can’t wait anymore. Please, just touch me anything.”

You were begging him.

It all went straight to his cock, which was now suffocating in his jeans. He groaned and his breath quicked leaving you stuck in anticipation of what he was gonna do next. As you looked up into his eyes, his chocolate orbs were now being drowned by a sea of black. You felt a dip in the bed and saw him get up to remove his jeans.

You were more than surprised at his length as it sprung out of his boxers. As he crawled back on the bed and hovered over you, his hands wrapped themselves into your waistband, but before pulling them down Eddie looked up at you asking for permission. You nodded slightly and in an instant, your cunt was met with the cool air. Eddie lowered himself to bring him face to face with your pussy.

“Can’t wait to taste you, y/n.”

Before he could dive into lapping at your cunt, you stopped him by pressing your hand against his shoulder.

“Not, not tonight Eds. Believe me, I want it but I-I need to feel you inside me. I need to feel you now, please.”

You spoke breathlessly. Unable to catch your breath while coming to terms with what was about to happen.

“You sure, sweetheart.”

“Eddie, if you don’t fuck me now, I’ll do it myself.”

“Someone’s a little feisty, I like it.”

You shared a quick laugh before Eddie went to line himself up at your entrance.

“Wait, I need a condom.”

“I’m on the pill, Eds. Unless you wanna use one. I don’t mind, but I kinda wanna feel all of you and feel you like ya know but it’s-”

Eddie kissed you, stopping your ramble and you moaned into it.

“Stop talking, princess. I got ya.”

The new nickname had you fluttering around nothing and Eddie caught a glimpse of it but decided to swallow his opportunity to tease you again. Eddie got back into position and placed himself at your entrance, rolling his dick over your pussy and teasing you in a different way. To be completely transparent, he just wanted to hear you beg for him again. You whined out his name, but he smirked.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that, y/n.”

“Eddie, fuck me. Please fuck me! I need to feel you inside of me. I’ve needed you for so long, please don’t make me beg anymore. I wanna feel you stretch me out. I’ve waited long enough. Just fuck me, please fuck me~ah!”

He sunk himself in your tight, warm walls with both of your moans filling the silence in his bedroom. You saw his breath become more ragged, and was borderline feral. Slowly he pulled his cock all the way out before slamming it back in. You cried out, the tip of his dick hitting your cervix just right.

“Eddie, fuck! Go faster, please.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, he was holding back and was just waiting for your go-ahead. His hips snapped into yours, the sound of skin slapping seemingly getting louder with each thrust. Your moans were in tandem with one another, creating your own wolfish symphony. Eddie dropped his head in the space between your neck and shoulders, his words on repeat as he fully indulged in the pleasure.

“Fuck y/n. Fuck, you feel so good. Fuck you feel good!”

Eddie brought himself back up to look at your face which was now completely fucked out. Your eyes were lidded and every time you looked at him your cunt quivered with arousal and anticipation. You reached out for his hand and moved it to position it around your throat. The coolness of his rings sent a different kind of shiver through your bones.

Eddie looked down at you slightly, cocking his head before you choked out another please. With your whimpers, his final straw broke. The dam that was barricading all the love and lust he had for you was broken and he gave you everything he had left. His thrusts quickened as his hand squeezed at the pressure points on your throat. Eddie lowered himself down to growl in your ear.

“My baby girl likes it a little rough, doesn’t she? This feel good sweetheart? My hand wrapped around your throat.”

You felt so needy. Your body rolling and quivering into his as his hips pistoned into your own. He didn’t need you to respond, he just wanted to torture you. He gazed down over your fucked out figure one more time, smiling to himself about the state he put you in. Your pussy giving him ample praise, clenching after every word he said.

“Shit, y/n. You gotta stop squeezing me like that, baby. I’m gonna cum.”

You whined as you rolled into him, clawing your nails into his back as you tried your best to fuck him back as the fire built in your lower abdomen.

“I c-can’t help i-it. You feel so fuckin good, Eddie.”

Every time you said his name, something else within him snapped. He removed his hand from your neck and instead placed both of his hands on your hips, lifting them from the bed as he pounded into you. Your moans left your mouth rapidly, unable to control the frequency of them.

Eddie’s thrusts were getting more and more sloppy and you could feel the slight twitches of his cock signaling that he was coming on the precipice of his arousal. Eddie brought one of his hands to your swollen bud and started rolling it in small circles. You cried out at all the sensations overwhelming you.

“Eddie, fuck I’m gonna cum.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed in pleasure, your words going straight to his cock.

“Good girl, that’s it. Cum for me.”

“Eddie, cum inside of me. I wanna feel all of you, please.”

Both your resolves dropped at the same time, your orgasms overhauling any other thoughts you had. Any moan that he had been holding back was now on full display for you to hear. Your cunt was milking him of all he was worth. Spasming uncontrollably at the feeling of your orgasm washing over you. Eddie was still moving slowly inside of you and leaned down to kiss you.

This kiss was needy yet gentle. Full of yearning as you made up for the lost time. He kissed you like he knew he had you now. There was nothing else to worry about, nothing to be afraid of. You cupped both sides of his face, afraid that he was somehow gonna disappear from you. He pulled back and smiled at you. His eyes were soft and chocolatey again.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

“I know. That’s why I’m holding on so tight. I finally have you.”

He slid out of you and you felt his cum begin to leak out of you despite your efforts to keep it inside. He got up from the bed, still as bare as Adam, calling to you from the hallway.

“I’m just gonna grab you something to clean you up with.”

Eddie came back with a warm washcloth, cleaning you up the best he could.

“You made a mess.”

You looked at him your eyebrows raised incredulously.

“Um, I believe we made the mess, Munson.”

“Reduced to my last name now. After all that’s happened.”

Eddie shook his head in jest, obviously pulling your leg. Eddie climbed back in the bed getting ready to pull you towards him before you began to get up.

“I’m gonna go pee now or else I will forget.”

He laughed at you and waited for you to come back. In the time that you took in the bathroom, he played with the pick attached to his necklace. Smiling down at it, he remembered that you said you “always liked it”. Eddie released the ball from its chain and had the necklace resting in his hand. As you came back into the room, he looked at you with a giant grin still stuck on his face.

“What are you so smiley for?”

“Close your eyes.”

So you did and you felt his weight shift around the bed. Then you felt something cold hit your neck and his hands delicately securing the metal together.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

Looking down, you were met with the red tones of his guitar pick. A smile quickly grew on your face and you looked up at him.

“Eddie…you didn’t have to.”

“Ah ah, I insist. Besides, everyone needs to know you’re mine now somehow.”

You both stayed smiling at each other as you leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. You were about to say something, but your stomach interrupted you with its growling. Eddie looked at you and then your stomach and back up at you.

“Shall we eat then?”

“Think we should.”

Getting up from the bed you walked over to your luggage to grab a new pair of underwear. As you turned around to grab your clothes you noticed Eddie’s Hellfire shirt was closest to you. Picking it up you slid it over your body. As your head peaked through the hole, you saw Eddie staring at you clad in nothing but some sweatpants and his mouth ajar. Closing it, he walked over to you guiding you out to the hallway.

“So what I’m seeing is, you obviously wanna have more sex after we eat.”

“How’d you get to that conclusion, Einstein?”

“Well, sweetheart, you’re in my shirt. And luckily for you, I think you happen to look great in it. But! It definitely would look better throwing it back on the floor where it belongs.”

You turned your head to smile at him while opening the boxes of pizza.

“I do suppose we have a lot of catching up to do.”

You ended your sentence tapping your finger on his nose. Eddie grabbed your hips and pushed you closer to the edge of the counter, caging you in.

“You little minx.”

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfic #stranger things smut #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine

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tojiscumdumpster · 5 months

Text

CHAPTER TWO - READER

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

Last night felt… good. Well, with the exceptions of that loser creep that keeps bothering me, it was good. Refreshing, to be exact. Thanks to a certain someone, I won’t have to worry about that perv anymore. And now, my mind will be onto other things when I go to the bar.

Toji Fushiguro.

I almost didn’t go out since it was Sunday. Usually, I keep that day reserved to relax and prepare lessons for my students. However, I decided to take a break. I’m thirty years old, and although I love my career, I dedicate a little bit too much time to it. For once, I wanted to live a little.

And I haven’t felt that rush through my veins in a while until those two hours I spent with Toji.

There’s something about his demeanor that immediately made me attracted to him. His presence screams confidence in a humble yet arrogant way. How he talks with charm unintentionally is calming.

I just admire how our conversation flowed well. Never a moment of silence. I listened to him, and he listened to me. The touch of vulnerability he showed me was unexpected, but it showed his comfort.

It didn’t feel like that was our first conversation either. It sounds silly, and I can’t put my finger on it, however, Toji feels… familiar.

The chemistry. The flow of us talking… Why didn’t he feel like a stranger?

And when he kissed me? I never thought I had that much strength.

I wanted Toji to fuck me so badly, and I know he would take care of me good. Those calloused hands that gripped my ass while kissing me, made me wet beyond measure.

Fuck it being a school night, or even if we didn’t leave so late, I would’ve been jumping on his cock last night. Maybe I should’ve allowed him to have his way with me in the bathroom at the bar.

It didn’t take long to realize we were sexually attracted to each other. It’s just the kiss solidified it.

Toji gives me rough yet passionate lover vibes. He would pull me by my coils, fuck me from behind and call me his good girl…

Y/N, why are you so damn responsible?

I honestly don’t know. The unhinged thing to do would be to let Toji come over to have sex. But I’m still trying to open up my shell a bit, especially after my recent engagement.

Well, ex-engagement.

Part of me feeling alive again was to do something that would help get my mind off my ex-fiancé that’s currently in front of me presenting a budget plan to me and the rest of the teachers.

“So, for this academic year, we’re looking to…” I fade out the voice of Nanami Kento.

Actually, Principal Nanami.

My relationship with my ex-fiancé, who’s also my boss, is… complicated, to say the least. We didn’t end on bad terms, but we didn’t end on good terms either.

We were together for five years, engaged for a year until I broke things off four months ago. Our arguing increased, which is normal in a relationship. However, it’s what we were going back and forth about that I was getting tired of.

Nanami (because I refuse to call him something as familiar as Ken) makes me look like an idler compared to his workaholic personality. And it wasn’t always like that.

Our relationship was perfect in the beginning. Fairy tale like. We would go on vacation, dates, road trips, and so much more. But as years passed, I truly believe he got comfortable.

It’s like he was burnt out from all the fun we had, and I blame that because of work.

I’m a teacher. He’s a principal. I have my fair share of demands being a teacher, but I know Nanami being a principal is far worse. Having to look over students, teachers, other staff members, constantly attend conventions on the behalf of the school—it took up a lot of his time.

A lot of his personal time.

It meddled into our relationship. I was tired of doing things alone. Tired of not feeling loved and appreciated. Tired of fucking not getting any sexual pleasure from him.

And don’t get me wrong, sex with Nanami was amazing. It’s just we only had it once every blue moon. There’s certain things a vibrator can’t do that he’s an expert at.

So a few days before our fourth anniversary (I know that’s shitty), I decided to break up with him. Let’s just say Nanami wasn’t having it.

Again, we argued. Some tears were shed, but the night ended with a proposal and a promise to change.

Too bad that promise was made with emptiness. We lasted about two months before he went right back to his workaholic ways. I was over it at that point.

Now here we are, months later where I try to avoid him as much as possible like he’s a plague.

It’s kind of hard to do that when these meetings are held at the beginning and end of every month.

“Any questions before we conclude the meeting?” he asks.

Nanami looks around for a response, eyes stopping at me. He tries to give me a small smile, but I look away.

He continues, “Okay. That’ll be all. Don’t hesitate to follow up with me if you all have any questions, concerns, or suggestions. I’ll be sure to take them down to pass along to the superintendents.”

After Nanami dismisses us, I quickly gather my belongings to head to my classroom, but he stops me the minute I’m at the tip of the door.

“Miss L /N. May I have a few minutes of your time?”

“I have to prepare for homeroom, Principal Nanami. Can this wait until later?” Later, meaning never.

“It won't be long… I promise,” he says, earnestly.

Like I don’t know the result of his promises.

I deeply sigh to myself and return to the meeting room. Nanami passes me to close the door and the smell of his cologne invades my senses.

Clean, minty with a touch of lemon and vanilla.

That’s the cologne you brought him .

Great.

“Everything’s okay, Principal Nanami?”

“Y/N…” Every time he says my name it’s filled with such tenderness. Like that’s the only thing he knows how to say.

“You said you wanted some of my time. Is everything okay, Principal Nanami?” I repeat.

Nanami leans against the desk, hands in his pockets while looking at me. I take notice of the three piece suit he’s wearing and think how handsome he looks. It fills out his body perfectly.

“You haven’t been answering my calls.”

“Because you call me outside of work hours,” I argue.

He hums. “So if I call during work hours, you’d answer?”

“Ken, what do you want?”

“Can I take you out for dinner this weekend?”

I knit my brows. “Why?”

“To talk, Y/N… To see how you’re doing.”

Why are my cheeks suddenly getting warm?

I would be lying if I said I didn’t still have feelings for Nanami. They aren’t as strong as before, but something is still there. At one point in my life, I was madly in love with him. Despite us not working out, I genuinely wish him nothing but the best.

And maybe we can get to being friends again.

I just don’t know if now’s the time.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Can you at least think about it?” His voice is still soft. “Please?”

Before I can answer, the late bell rings.

“I have to go.” I’m already halfway through the door.

“Would you let me know?”

I look at him over my shoulder. “I… I’ll let you know.”

Class on Mondays is always the hardest for me. The day feels sluggish, and it moves like a snail. Again, yes, I love teaching, but I seriously cannot hang. Midnight was far too long for me to be out.

Actually, I have no reason to come since I had the company of a handsome fella.

How am I able to teach class while thinking about Toji? I don’t know, but I manage. My mind is split between today's lesson and the distinctive features of him.

Those rich emerald eyes. His dark locks. Pale yet a pretty shade of rose for his lips that’s accompanied by a scar that left me with questions.

Toji wore a baggy black outfit that had me guessing how his physique looked, however, from the looks of his hands and how they felt on my ass—I know it’s probably mouthwatering.

I’m honestly disappointed that I didn’t give him my number. I’m not a hundred percent ready for a new relationship, but also not opposed to one because I was checked out of my last for a while. But I do want to see Toji.

What’s the likelihood of me running into him at the bar again? Slim to none.

I guess we’ll see.

Anyways.

One of my students was reading a page of this week's book, a young adult psychological thriller, when the classroom door opened.

A boy stands there. Spiky hair, about five-foot-nine and green eyes. He looks at me, then around at the classroom before walking toward my desk.

“Hello,” I say with a smile. “Did you need help?”

He nods. “I’m a new student. Sorry for being late.”

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t realize I would be getting a new student today” I told him. “It must’ve slipped my mind.”

He stays silent.

“What’s your name? Do you feel comfortable introducing yourself to the class? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Megumi.”

No… this could be mere coincidence. I’m sure Megumi is a popular Japanese name.

“Nice to meet you, Megumi. I’m Miss L /N. Glad to have you here.” I’m left with no reaction. No expression. Just a blank face. “So, we’re reading right now. I only had a set amount of books. For now, you can share with one of the students, then I’ll be sure to get you a copy. Sounds good?”

“Okay.”

“Why don’t you go sit next to Yuji? He’s sitting in the back with pink hair and a red hoodie,” I said. “Yuji, raise your hand for me.”

“Megumi, here-” I called him to retrieve his schedule that he left on my desk. But before I give it to him, his full name catches my attention.

Fushiguro, Megumi.

This is no longer a mere coincidence, and now that I’m looking at Megumi, he resembles Toji— a lot. The features are uncanny. I can almost guarantee that’s how Toji looked when he was Megumi’s age.

Who knew the new student in my class would be the son of the man I’ve been thinking all morning?

Will I use this to my advantage? Most definitely.

It’s that time of year for me to schedule parent-teacher conferences, anyways.

“Miss L /N. Did you call me?”

“Ah, yes. Here. You left your schedule.”

Megumi takes the paper from me and returns to the direction where I told him to sit. Yuji tries to whisper, but his whispering is on the verge of an outside voice. I can hear the excitement in his voice when he finally has a student that’s open to sitting next to him.

Yuji is a sweet kid, but I know he had a rough time growing up based on the little information he shared with me. It’s just him and his older brother.

Teenagers are definitely more judgmental than elementary schoolers, so I notice students avoid him as much as possible yet he still gives them the kindest smile. Megumi seems quiet so I think him sitting next to Yuji will help out a bit.

“Yuji, you want to read the next page?”

He stands up eagerly. “Yes, Miss L /N!” Giggles and whispers around the classroom, causing me to shoot a glare.

“Okay, sweetheart. And remember if you come across a word you don’t know, take your time or ask for my help.” He nods and begins reading.

I pay attention for the most part, but I can’t help but think about another chance at seeing Toji Fushiguro.

It thrills me, even.

I hope he feels the same. I would like to think he does.

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#anime x black!reader #anime x reader #toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji x black reader #toji fushiguro x black reader #jjk x reader #jjk x black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #toji angst #jjk angst

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