#this isn't very good

[oksanas-sun]

baby dreams of being small🥺🥹

a visual for @storms-corner 's recent drabble because i loved it sm and i couldn't stop thinking about it :,)

#this isn't very good #but storm's fic is!! so if you haven't checked it out #go go go!! do it!! #eve and oksana #oksana and mommy #baby oksana

[rainmothseventeen]

Sticky and dripping

I hate how harsh and raw my voice becomes when I get like this. All shaken up. My bones sticking into my lungs. It's like I needed it to bring me down and now I feel lost and I don't know where I should go. I reach out my arms to the sky. I want to hold onto the clouds and squeeze them until they break and rain pours down. Everyone needs a place. Everyone needs one safe place to break like that. Even the heavens and God break.

I need to save you so badly. I need you to be safe. Your safe place is meant to be inside me but it's falling apart. Who's going to save me? No one. No one will come and no one will rest with me so I will not rest. I painted so many tears. I coated the pages with wet, pale pigment. The castle, the ladies, the man holding up the clouds. The clouds don't need holding onto. Let go. Let the clouds go.

I have a body and maybe I have something inside it. The murder of a soul. I'll never get that time back. And maybe it's not my fault but what does that matter? I'll never get it back. One day I'll live for no one and maybe I'll live. One day they won't stone us. One day we'll find a safe space to break.

My voice holds some dampness, like there's condensation dripping off my throat. And my eyes fill up like radar dishes with rain and then something breaks the tension and the rain falls. And maybe God is crying with me. And maybe something's still there.

#poetry #poetry blog #queer #spilled thoughts #vent ish #this isn't very good #i'm sorry #i'm sorry mom #i love her #but i hate it here #i don't really understand this #i think it's getting to me

[zimms]

ollie knows he shouldn't have hidden the hoodie. wicky's been looking for it for the past two weeks with no success, but ollie was- he was feeling pretty weak when he took it, okay? he'd spent all day trailing after wicky. desperately hoping that today might be the day that wicky finally turns around and says ollie, i love you, and i want to be with you for the rest of our lives.

it was not.

so yeah, ollie was feeling pretty goddamn pathetic and then the hoodie was just laying there on the bed and the next thing he knew he was picking it up and-

and, yeah, things just spun out of control and now ollie is clutching the hoodie, having just pulled it out of his pillowcase. it's comforting, okay? sometimes, just sometimes, when ollie closes his eyes and hugs the hoodie tight to his chest, he can just about imagine that it's the real deal. just.

he settles down into bed and squeezes the hoodie tighter. yeah, he felt bad, but at least he's not making wicky uncomfortable this way. ollie can be weird about his crush in his own way, on his own time, out of wicky's sight.

ollie sighs and clutches the hoodie, inhaling the faint vestiges of wicky that still cling to it.

it's better this way.

it has to be.

#this isn't very good #but this is the first bit of writing inspiration that's struck me since january #so i'll take it #ollie and wicks #ollie #(we should not that wicks has stolen one of ollie's hoodies too and does the exact same thing) #omgcp #my writing

[papercranes-and-hope]

Tradition

Leaving gifts for each other under the makeshift Christmas tree - it was actually a pile of twigs -, forcing Kreacher to make pumpkin soup for the entire month of October, little kisses on the cheeks when their Tempus charms clicked 12 on New Year's Eve.

These were all little attempts the Black brothers made to help them feel normal, help them feel like every other kid who was safe. They tried desperately to ignore the bruises instead of toys on Christmas morning. To ignore their vast knowledge of healing spells but obliviousness to simple games. Because that would make them different, and make their dangerous lives obvious.

So Sirius and Regulus skulked around the truth feigning cluelessness when asked about their scars and sharing secret looks of worry when the other let out a wince of pain. All their suffering lay in the shadows and no one else was allowed to pry into the souls of darkness they carried with each other.

This was the norm, the twisted tradition both shared because lying was safe and no one would ever believe the truth anyways.

But tradition collapsed and eventually came crumbling into the hands of ancestors that were left reeling from the sudden collapse. In the same way one summer evening Regulus was left upset and torn because his brother who shared the same blood, secrets, and pain had spilled it all to his newfound family.

His safer family.

And suddenly it was only him collecting wood for their Christmas, only him casting Tempus charms and only him eating cold pumpkin soup trying to heal his wounds alone.

Traditions didn't last forever, and promises were the same.

#regulus #regulus and sirius #black brothers #the raksha bandhan thing #this isn't very good #i have a bunch of holidays this week so ill be posting more writing #sorry this is late #slight angst #regulus black #marauder era #cookie kid writes

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[notbecauseofvictories]

I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"

Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.

............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.

#I finished guards guards just yesterday and I forgot that vimes and wonse were set up to be mirror images #both boys from the shades of very different natures; who made good (ish) in wildly different ways #also it's interesting reading this books from an adult perspective; my mind isn't blown that these books exist #anymore; plus I've read so many good books since #and they're not perfectly constructed novels! especially these early books; #there are plenty of spots where I can feel the narrative get thin; where there's more handwaving than I remember #but each book IS better and tighter; the jokes are funnier and the irony sharpens; the footnotes are better utilized #the characters are getting more interesting and complicated as opposed to set-ups for jokes. #it's an illustration of someone getting better at their chosen field and that in itself is more impressive than I was anticipating. #discworld

[florbe-triz]

Finally!! let me share with you the Trigun playlist I made! It's called NoMan's Land and you can listen to it HERE It's an evergrowing playlist, hope you enjoy!

#Trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #my art #and for the cover I had no idea what to do! #so I just did a redraw of the ost cover haha sorry #creativity isn't a very good friend of mine these days #oh but I hope you like the music !! #most of it talks about vash and the rest I leave it to your imagination uwu

[egophiliac]

this started as a reply to someone (a million years ago) (I am so sorry) and then very quickly got out of control, as these things do. so...uhhh....here's everyone else at Playful Land!

sorry

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(like barely at this point) (but it's there) #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #i keep coming within thirty seconds of posting this and noticing something i've screwed up #so chances are good i'll wake up tomorrow and realize i forgot to draw fellow's ears or something #i just think it'd be funny if there was a malleus-shaped line that was just THE step too far #(especially because leona would get SO mad about it) #leona and kalim and vil? yeah no problem the investors are VERY good at covering their tracks #malleus though. hmm. ...hmmmm. #i mean. the commission on him alone... #but no. the risk isn't worth it. #...but WHAT IF

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

In which Zim disappears for a decade.

This looks like such garbage, but this has been sitting in my head for a month and I needed it OUT OF ME!!!!

#from comments and stuff I got the impression that dibs fedora is VERY polarizing #and that prompted this #some people go awwww fedora #others are like get that shit off his head #invader zim #iz #invader zim fanart #dib #dib membrane #dib fanart #zim #zadr #tagging as such so all the cool kids can see it #my art #sketchbook #traditional drawing #traditional art #i think maybe my new sketchbook isn't good for drawing details... #the texture is just really rough #part of me likes it because i spend less time on each drawing #but they simply dont look as good #i already put stickers and shit in it!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!! #but the gaz drawings looked good #so maybe it's just my hands being bad at drawing today #ah #oh well

[vipercloud]

                               ──────────────                                there’s  a  steady  thrum  from  the  broken  ac  in  the  back  of  the  room ,        interrupted  only  by  the  quiet  tick  from  the  clock  on  the  wall  beside  his  head ;        leg  shakes  furiously  as  teeth  tug  at  the  flesh  around  his  cuticle ,        gaze  fixates  on  the  second  hand  slowly  approaches  the  end  of  the  hour .        as  soon  as  the  bell  rings ,        he  grips  his  bag  and  shoves  through  the  sea  of  unfamiliar  faces  to  make  his  way  toward  the  school  parking  lot                (    not  that  stiles  had  much  to  look  forward  to  over  the  weekend ,    but  he  was  desperate  to  escape  the  hellscape  that  is  known  as  high  school    ) .                once  his  jeep  is  finally  in  sight ,        heavy  sigh  escapes  his  lips  as  bag  is  slung  across  his  shoulder ,        fingers  fish  around  in  his  pocket  in  hopes  of  finding  his  phone  and  keys        ──────        𝚒𝚝’𝚜  𝚗𝚘𝚝  𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐  𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎  𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚢  𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚢𝚜  𝚑𝚒𝚖 ,        figure  goes  sprawling  forward  as  he  catches  the  nearest  person  to  him  and  brings  them  down .        gentle  groan  as  figure  rolls  on  the  pavement ,        eyes  squint  as  he  avoids  staring  directly  into  the  sun .

❝        sorry  dude .        ❞                                the  apology  means  virtually  nothing  as  he  slowly  peels  himself  off  the  concrete  and  picks  up  his  belongings ,        gaze  avoids  @godforget .                                ❝        ‘m  a  fuckin’  clutz .        ❞

♥’d

#this isn't very good #but it's the best i can do rn #sorry bestie #ily tho <333 #godforget #♡ ⁄ 𝙾𝚆𝙽𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙵 𝙰 𝙱𝚁𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃 ミ threads. #♡ ᜵ 𝙸𝚂𝙼𝚂 ¸ stiles s #♡ ⁄ 𝙾𝚆𝙽𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙵 𝙰 𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙴𝙻𝚈 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃 ミ q.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

traditional knife 石镰shilian specially used to harvest glutinous rice

#china #fun #video #miscellaneous #the same stone knife was unearthed in liangzhu culture良渚文化 #op says they chose manual harvesting is because the glutinous rice isn't that much #glutinous rice are not necessary staple food #terrace farming in mountainous areas also makes machine harvesting inconvenient #others say it's just for video #anyway i think this knife is very practical in home garden #i'm not good at caring for plants #there are often withered stems #shilian must be easier to use than ordinary scissors

[tapakah0]

Okay! I don't know where you got the idea from and my best guess is that your brain is connected to mine via bluetooth but.

Me and Hoddie have a royal au and your animation made me think of it again.

Nothing crazy special, but...ah...I should probably give a little context yeah...hmm.

Uh, okay. There's a kingdom. whose king and queen have died, leaving behind several possible heirs who are not their direct children. Right now, the king's first general is sitting on the throne, because the power of the army is, you know, a pretty powerful argument in a fight for the throne, right? This creepy regent is Cass. And Cass came to power thanks to Hoddie, who's basically the king's heir too, but she's pretty distant and her chances of the throne are quite slim. This has made her a professional rat and back stabber. The whole palace is busy weaving intrigue and destroying each other in a competition for power. Contests in cunning and sneakiness. A maximally intellectually uncomfortable environment in general.

Until Hoddie finds the true heiress. The king's blood daughter, to whom the throne should rightfully belong.

Problem? The problem is that the heiress needs to be two years older to be old enough to rule. And Hoddie and Cass' goal is to make sure she lives to that age in an environment where every other person wants to frame or kill her.

That heiress is you, Tap. But we couldn't think of what you'd look like in this au ahaha.

MHHMMM I SEE ONCE IN A WHILE BRAIN BLUETOOTH IS A GOOD THING you left me a window for my part and I grabbed this opportunity with sharp teeth Since there was no mention of my part, I have the audacity to add my own version. Did I understand correctly that my existence as an heiress was not known? It would be strange if the king was not looking for me, if I was the only heir (by blood), which means they were hoping for a new child, or already had plans for an indirect heir, or wanted to hide me. What other power is there, besides the king and the army, that holds the common people? Church. The king could have sent me to be trained as a priestess in order to gain support from them (either I was not considered worthy of receiving the throne in the future, which is why they preferred to hide me, or the king so badly needed their support that he was ready to sacrifice his only blood daughter) . Thus, from a young age, the beauty of a non-existent world somewhere beyond the heavens was drummed into my head and, in general, “God speaks all our actions.” I have an inconspicuous appearance, a position above a simple servant, but such priests are usually considered to be the daughters of high nobles, but not the king himself, which is why not everyone could know who I really was. Thus, they forgot about my existence ~ After the death of the king and all the heirs, the church quickly realized what to do next, and crushed me to itself, hiding me from the world until I reached the age of succession to the throne. (But children could take the throne under a regent. Could Hoodi become my regent as one of the older contenders for the throne?) So, back to the turmoil. Hoodie found me at church. Since childhood, my worldview could have changed greatly under the influence of the church, so, well, you will have to hammer a lot into my head, in addition to the throne’s education (You know... it's bit complicated to make a human sona not as a stupid little ball XDD... it literally can't get a shape at this point... maybe you will place a real bunny as the new king? It will be eating cabbage 24/7 and everyone will be happy)

#You know~ I'm sure you know that church isn't a very good place~ #commoner servants or lowly noble servants do not dare to say a word against the nobles. (The laws are no better than in the kingdom itself) #Tapa saw some horrors in here~ #I tried to make a look closer to the rabbit #but I guess it will be mostly about the way I behave #And sometimes the most beloved kind of hairstyle - rabbit looking one #But it's a bit complicated to get used to all these after strict rules of the church #Tapa #Cass #Hoddi #royal au #my little happiness

[rainmothseventeen]

...And I forgive you.

Why? Why would you do that?

It's just... what I do.

#love letters #art #ms paint #sketch #comics #this isn't very good #deer #angel #love #unrequited love #Aol mylhr huk aol Nvk.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.

#Better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #digital art #This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own. #In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece. #Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot! #Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional. #I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of. #LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated. #He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief. #Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation. #He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable. #Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him. #Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy. #Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief. #It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.

[domirine]

Magician’s Red

#art #jjba #mohammed avdol #good lord finally done. #it was very therapeutic to render the smoke #and i'm happy my top idiot finally has representative art that isn't a batshit insane doodle #hope you enjoy!

[veliseraptor]

sometimes fandom seems to struggle with the concept that...people can be kind/"good people" in some situations and very very not kind/not "good people" in others.

I feel like there's this urge to either write off the positive behavior as "fake" or to find a way to ignore/explain away/write out the negative behavior. and I personally find this really really irritating in both directions, actually

#the really bitchy addition to this post i'm leaving in the tags: it kinda makes me wonder if they've ever met real people #this isn't just about villain police stuff either #but it's not not about that either #mostly it's just. characters can be more than one thing depending on the situation #just because a character kills somebody doesn't mean every time they're nice it's totally fake #and conversely: just because somebody does good things doesn't mean they can't also have taken very harmful actions #anyway. irritable early morning post i might regret later #lise's aggressively bitchy opinions about irrelevant and unimportant matters